#dirty spirit spouse in the god spouse tag

[thetwistedrope]

Do you actually think that a consort should tell their human partner(s) about their spirit ones?

This topic comes up every so often, and I would bet that my opinion on this is in the unpopular category because imo, I don’t think someone has to tell a physical partner about their non-physical partners. I’ve seen the case made for “well that’s cheating”, and I suppose in some sense you might say that it is, but imo it’s only cheating inasmuch as  any sort of mental imagery that wafts through your head might be considered cheating.

The main reason I tend to look at things from this angle is because a non-physical partner will never manifest as a complete entity here in the physical world. My menz will never show up and knock on my door. They’ll never be physical in the way my physical partner is. As such, the relationship only really exists within the person who is involved with it. There is no way to 100% prove that these entities are real, or that the relationship is real (or at least, no way to prove that it’s  real in the same way that you could a fully physical relationship). From that angle, it’s as much of the physical world as any other mental imagery or mental “stuff” is.

As such, whether you tell your partner/s or not really comes down to how open they are to “woo” in general, with a slight caveat of “so long as your non-physical relationship isn’t having a direct impact on your physical relationship” (imo). If telling your spouse that you’ve now got a new bff in a non-physical plane causes them to consider you mentally unstable, or it wrecks your relationship because “wow you’ve lost your mind”, then I really don’t see the benefit in telling them–esp if they would have never known otherwise. Since you’re not physically cheating on said partner/s with another physical being, there isn’t really a way to prove whether you’re actually with someone or not, and there really isn’t a benefit to potentially wrecking your life over it.

I know a lot of people will disagree with me. But here’s the deal, I don’t care 8) (so don’t bother with the anons). To me, if its okay to fantasize about being with someone in your head (not saying that non-physical relationships are fantasies, btw) and its not considered cheating, then there isn’t anything barring you from engaging in a non-physical relationship either – so long as its not impacting your physical relationship/s. Because to me, the two impact the physical world on about the same level–which is to say, they kinda don’t. Except for the singular person they involve.

So the TL;DR is that I don’t think it’s mandatory. If it’s not safe for you to talk about it, and/or it could wreck your current relationship, then I don’t see why you should have to bother so long as it’s not really having any direct impact on your current relationship/s.

[koikingu]

every number with a 1 or 7 in it.

is this the same anon from last time? ; u; ty ty ty

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?Uhhh I like the height I’m at right now. c: I’m 5′4~Not too short and not too tall!

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]????????????????????????????????????

10: Are you allergic to anything?I can’t ingest Lobster or Cantelope o:And I’m actually really allergic to cats and dogs and most animals with fur but WHO CARES I LOVE THEM ALL. (plus it’s a really mild allergy it’s not like I puff up at the thought of them THANK GOD)

11: What’s your sexuality?Pansexual!

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?I like all three a lot ~ Teas are preferred but I usually will choose coffee if I need caffeine.AND COCOA IS JUST A DELICIOUS TREAT OKAY? ; u;

13: Are you a cat or dog person?Honestly? It depends. I love all cats, I really really REALLY do, but I get more excited over certain breeds of dogs. ; u; Like there will never be a cat I don’t like, but I will ALWAYS be insanely excited when there’s a nice dog somewhere in the same vicinity of me.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?Can I be a vampiric mermaid? If so, then yes.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?I have several! I enjoy Lindy of BubzbeautyMykie of Glam&GoreiDubbbzand ofcourse Markimoo

16: How tall are you?[See Question 1]

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?Uhhhh well I mean officially change it to Linh but if I had to change my name altogether I used to really like the name Emma but that wouldn’t fit me really well. Sarah is a name I really like, but I don’t wanna have a common name, I know like a trillion Sarahs lmao. Idk. I like too many names.

Skipping 18.

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?I do!

21: Are you religious?Nope.

27: Any phobias or fears?I’m kinda claustrophobic, pretty arachnophobic, and I have a fear of being alone.which is weird because I’m on the introverted side.

31: Do you get scared easily?Very

37: What is your eye color?Unfortunately, dark brown. :c

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?@fafnir-aegis​ :c i love Nicholas, he will always be my best friend and I wish he lived closer.And there is not a moment in time where I wouldn’t wanna see David. I love him too much.

47: What is a sound you really hate?Loud ones, or really repetitive sounds. (and the voices of my enemies B( jk)

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? I HAVE TOO MANY

57: Have any mental disorders?Severe Depression and Anxiety.

58: What does your URL mean?I’m answering this one in place of #18 c:My url is the japanese name for magikarp!!

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?honestly not much because I would like, just scroll past posts I think aren’t interesting

67: Favorite meme:my life????????? jk i’m dumbuh there are too many good ones right now but the tag urself ones are p good.idk

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?Pintsize cannot, lmao I wish.

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?Uhhh I don’t have many outfits, but I like my dresses, or my asian kungfu generation shirt with my generic black ripped jeans I always wear. lmao.

72: Post a selfie or two?Maybe later ~

73: Do you have platform shoes?Nope :c I want some tho.

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?One of my ears is more towards my face than the other one. o:75: Can you do a front flip?in a moon house, prob.

76: Do you like birds?No.

77: Do you like to swim?I LOVE TO SWIM

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?SWIMMING

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:xxxxxx and xxxxxx

81: Piercings you have?None at the moment.My earlobes closed up a really long time ago.I took my nipple piercings out last yearMy 16th birthday I got two ear cartilage piercings and since I was naive I had them done at Piercing Pagoda where they used a piercing gun and it shattered my cartilage and didn’t heal for an entire year so I took them out and when they healed, it healed weird and now there’s a weird bump on my ear where the piercings used to be.But I want my septum pierced and my ears pierced again both the lobes and cartilage ;A;

87: Do your socks always match?Uhhhh kinda. I usually only wear black socks, but sometimes the brand of sock doesn’t match but. they’re still matching?????

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?Hibiscus

97: How long can you hold your breath for?Not long, my lungs are weak. ;A;

OH GOD THIS IS A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT. ANON WHY.

100: A store you love?TOO MANY STORES TO COUNT OKAY?

101: Favorite type of shoesSlip on ANYTHING jk not anything.but I like slip on vans a lot.I also really want a pair of doc martensi also like flats and moccasins a lot

102: Where do you live?AZ

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?Nope

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?I like amethysts and emeralds a lot!!

105: Do you drink milk?Yes! I love milk. c:

106: Do you like bugs?;A; not really…

107: Do you like spiders?NO.

108: Something you get paranoid about?Being dirty ;A; or thinking everyone h8s me

109: Can you draw:Kinda

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?“Nosiest Question you have ever been asked?“

111: A question you hate being asked?uhhh I know theres some, but I can’t think of any right now.

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?Like every day of my life. :C

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?I love them!

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?Cloudy but no rain pls!!

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:DAVID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

116: Favorite cloud type: Cumulonimbus!!

117: What color do you wish the sky was?In Arizona, our sunsets are REALLY pretty and the sky turns a nice shade of blue that transitions into a pretty orange colour and the clouds turn purple!! so that, like ALL the time.

118: Do you have freckles?Kinda

119: Favorite thing about a person:MY FAVOURITE THING ABOUT DAVID IS DAVID.I LOVE HIM.

120: Fruits or vegetables?Fruits pls!

121: Something you want to do right now:Not work lmao.

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?the Sky! but I do like the Ocean a lot!

123: Sweet or sour foods?BOTH

124: Bright or dim lights?Uhhh depends.

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?Uhhh???

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:Tumblr

127: Something you love about Tumblr:Tumblr

128: What do you think about the least?uhhhhh idk??

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?xxxxxx and xxxxxx

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?ME???

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?both

133: Computer or TV?konpyuuta-kun

134: Do you like roller coasters?YES!

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?Motion sickness pretty bad

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?Attached

137: Do you believe in karma?Yup

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?-12?

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?Too many to count

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?Yeah lol

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?Yeah, I kinda have to

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?I try to be a good influence

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?BOTH

144: What makes you angry?Uhhh I try not to be an angry person, but my emotions get the best of me a lot of the time, so like.. a lot of things make me angry. :C

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?2! I’m working on 3~I’m fluent in English and Tagalog (filipino) and I’m studying Japanese~

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?I’m pansexual, but I prefer boys

147: Are you androgynous?no.

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:My eyeglasses lmao

149: Favorite thing about your personality:I care A LOT

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.David, Nicholas, and Andres.

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?nah, I wanna go into the future pls152: Do you like BuzzFeed?Sometimes.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? Tinder, actually xD

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?YES

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?Yes~

156: What embarrasses you?A lot apparently. :c I don’t wanna go in depth.

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:Being alone.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:I’m fine.

159: How many people are you following?1023

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?3403

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?16

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?2721

163: Last time you cried and why:a few hours ago, because I was watching a sad video

164: Do you have long or short hair?Longish hair, it’s down to my boobies c:

165: Longest your hair has ever been:Down to my butt!

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?I mean, I don’t have an opinion on religion yet.

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?I don’t. c:

168: Do you like to wear makeup?I do! but I’m a lazy potato and never want to spend time putting it on. xD

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?Nope :c

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?Yep! o uoJFC ANON. I underestimated how many questions this was. ;A;

[kimoyo]

rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

tagged by @brcuewyane​ tagging: honestly i can’t think of who to tag atm so i mean, have at it? it’s fun!

the last:

1. drink: coffee

2. phone call: my mom

3. text message: my brother

4. song you listened to: little talks by of monster and men

5. time you cried: serious note--like three years ago

have you ever:

6. dated someone twice: nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. been cheated on: nope

9. lost someone special: yep

10. been depressed: always

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

3 favorite colors:

12. green

13. turquoise

14. blue like chris pine’s eyes

in the last year have you:

15. made new friends: yeahhhh 

16. fallen out of love: nope

17. laughed until you cried: maybe

18. found out someone was talking about you: not that i can recall

19. met someone who changed you: yeah i guess

20. found out who your friends are: no? maybe? i guess? sure

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

general:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them i know, some are cousins i may have met and just don’t remember them

23. do you have any pets: nope but you bet i’ll get one this year! (after I leave my current job)

24. do you want to change your name: nope

25. what did you do for your last birthday: dinner with the fam

26. what time did you wake up: 10:30a

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was asleep by then

28. name something you can’t wait for: getting a dog

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: a couple weeks ago, maybe longer. what is the concept of time anymore

31. what are you listening to right now: the sound of my tv

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: honestly....no i haven’t. wild.

33. something that is getting on your nerves: my co-worker’s existence 

34. most visited website: tumblr, instagram, and youtube

35. hair colour: dirty blonde atm

36. long or short hair: long

39. piercings: i have two ear piercings. i used to be obsessed with getting more in my ear but i have a phobia of needles soooo  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

40. blood type: idk

41. nicknames: crissymas                 

42. relationship status: forever alone  

43. zodiac:  capricorn      

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: the flash

46. tattoos: none

47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: wisdom teeth

49. piercing: i just answered that

50. sport: nope

51. vacation: always disney, seattle, boston, JAPANNNN, london, paris 

52. pair of trainers: good ole running shoes

more general:

53. eating: i ate a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich not too long ago

54. drinking: nothing atm

55. i’m about to: do laundry and work on cosplay

56. waiting for: life to get better

57. want: a spouse (preferably daisy ridley, jussayin)

58. get married: i’d like to yes

59. career: building/designing movie props or theme park props/rides

which is better:

60. hugs or kisses: both

61. lips or eyes: lips, staring into eyes makes me nervous?

62. shorter or taller: taller, i guess. i’m short so meh

63. older or younger: older

64. nice arms or nice stomach: both

65. hook up or relationship: relationship

66. troublemaker or hesitant: both are fine to a degree

have you ever:

67. kissed a stranger: nope

68. drank hard liquor: yep

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: nope

70. turned someone down: yep

71. sex on the first date: nope 

72. broken someone’s heart: yep

73. had your heart broken: yep

74. been arrested: nope

75. cried when someone died: yep

76. fallen for a friend: i think about this a lot lol

do you believe in:

77. yourself: i mean, at times, yes

78. miracles: yep

79. love at first sight: no, but infatuation or lust at first sight, yep

80. santa claus: god i wish i were still a fool like that. i don’t but it’s fun to see the spirit alive during the holidays.

81. kiss on the first date: if it works out, it works out 

82. angels: ehhh i mean, i think demons are real, so i guess angels could be real too

other:

83. current best friend’s name: y’all

84. eye colour: brown

85. favourite movie: yikes i don’t know. atlantis?? underworld, Anastasia, one of those

[thetwistedrope]

I think it's as a consort. I do intend to take my time thinking about this before accepting -- Thoth anon

mmmmmm if that’s the case, it’s a big toss up imo. I’ve never heard of someone to be initiated as a consort (which is probably getting a bit nitpicky… the word initiation just seems weird being attached to consort stuff), but whether it’ll be good or bad in the long run depends heavily upon your specific relationship with him.

Any time we initiate into anything, or join into a relationship of any kind, we are making at least some part of ourselves vulnerable. As such, there is always some amount of risk involved. How much is involved with this will depend on what his longterm plans are for you and the relationship, measured against what your plans/desires for the relationship are. If both line up, it’ll probably be relatively fine. But if you two have very different ideas on where you’re gonna end up, it’s probably a trainwreck moving in slow motion.

So I guess what I’m saying is that it’d probably be worthwhile to ask him the specifics of what initiation would entail, what sort of agreement you’re ultimately making, and where he’s anticipating all of this will lead. And then figure out all of that on your own end. What are your expectations for him, for the relationship, for where things will go. What are you willing to put up with, what are your uncrossable lines, etc. And then have a long conversation about all of it to help ascertain a decision.

Dunno if that helps at all, though.

[thetwistedrope]

Hey if you're around and not busy and stuff, can I ask for you to weigh in on a thing? Someone named xoxogarnet is kicking up a fuss in the spirit companions tag about how "relationships" with spirits are fake and impossible and letting newbies think that they aren't is dangerous. And you've always got such well-thought-out opinions, as well as this being an area of expertise for you, I think you would be a good influence on the conversation.

First I want to say thank you for asking me this off of anon. Since most folks ask for input while on anon (which I will no longer oblige 9 times out of 10, just fyi for those reading.) So thank you for that.

I’ve flipped through the thread, and it definitely is a dumpster fire from start to finish. For those who don’t feel like looking at the original, here are some choice bits…

Dating Spirits, is NOT a thing. You are not dating a God, you are not in a committed relationship with an angel or demon, or anything that falls under the spirit/entity category. You aren’t creating “children” either, just thought forms/tulpas/entities that may or may not develop free will.

THIS IS NOT HEALTHY. This is TOXIC and everyone who is doing this is either being taken advantage of by something darker or are willfully misinforming other witchlings of how to abuse Spirit Work!

I have seen my fair share of ridiculous claims in the magical community but to all the witchlings and Spirit Worker’s new and experienced, THIS IS BUNK. Its not what Spirit Work and Companionship is about.

and

Seeing run of the mill entities in ‘relationships’ with people is alarming as well because I fail to see how it takes the place of a living person. The human body craves touch and I don’t mean just 'sex’ and other sexual activities, I mean hugs, hand holding, pats on the back, kisses, snuggling, tummy rubs, etc! You simply can’t have that with an entity not on this plane! Its why I keep saying this  is so unhealthy, because it IS.  You can’t start your life with a Spirit, a spirit can’t take you to dinner or drive you to the doctor when you’re sick, or push you on the swings at the park. No matter how you slice it, a 'relationship’ with a spirit is just an affectionate friends with benefits type of deal, it doesn’t fix or replace the need for a real living partner. 

and

These kind of unhealthy emotional attachments just helps people and spirits take advantage of casters who don’t know any better and I was noticing that the vast majority of people doing this are brand new or a few years in and this is not helping these new witchlings experiment with their Craft, SAFELY. 

And i know that you had asked me to weigh in on the conversation, but I’m of the mindset that OP will likely not be persuaded into any sort of other thinking. Given that the thread has over 100 notes as of right now, I don’t expect that they’d be willing to listen to anything I say.

However, for those who are interest in spirit work and/or spirit relationships, I can say this much:

OP is not wrong in that it’s not something that everyone has to do. It’s also not something you should just run into without thinking it through and quadruple testing your discernment. I understand their concern, as it is a good way to wreck your life if you’re not careful.

However, OP is assuming a fuckload about what people in these relationships think and how they advise people who are interested in non-corp relationships. And I think they’re throwing the baby out with the bathwater in a lot of their responses. Assuming a lot, and bordering on ableism in some of their responses (or more accurately, who they’re agreeing with in the responses.)

I think anyone who is in a non-corp relationship knows that it’s not easy, that its not always fun, that these entities are not around to help you with things. That you can still get lonely because a spirit is not a physical being. that doesn’t invalidate the relationship, though. Nor does it mean that non-corp relationships can’t add to someone’s life.

I have been in a physical relationship with someone for about ten years now, and I never set out to get a man harem, but let me tell you, my menz add to my life in a way that my physical SO can’t. Similarly, my SO adds to my life in a way that my non-physical menz can’t. My non-physical family enriches my life in many ways and anyone who says otherwise can Fight Me.

I guess the overall takeaway is that OP’s posts are filled with “been there, done that, stfu” because nothing they’ve said is not anything I haven’t heard before. All of their crying and whinging and pearl wringing is old news that won’t stop ppl from forming these relationships, nor is anything they’ve said going to prepare someone for being responsible and informed about any sort of relationships they form. Its all of the most frustrating elements of these conversations rolled into one thread.

TL;DR: I’m sorry that people assume so much about consorts and spouses and that everyone has to put up with this fuckery on the regular. You keep doing you and just be sure to be smart and responsible about how you form these relationships and everyone can take a long walk off a short pier

*rolls away*

[thetwistedrope]

May I please ask a question? I definitely have mental illnesses. Diagnosed depression & anxiety, suspected bipolar. I also have an astral husband of 5 years' relationship who i adore. I find it really hard to hear and reach him now my illnesses have developed heavily. I'm 33, and i work, so am often exhausted too. Have you any strategies or tips at all to help be with him clearly and easily again? Thank you so much in advance.

So I wanted to start this off with mentioning that there is definitely not one singular way to approach this, and that my advice (inasmuch as it can be called advice) is based purely off of my experiences–for better or worse. And that obvs, other people may have other ideas, which may or may not work better for you than what I am about to write below, etc.

My experience with mental health (and chronic health issues in general, tbh) and astral work is the following:

In order to maintain any semblance of sanity, you should come to expect your time to be one part figuring out a way to manage your health so that you can better access the astral and one part getting used to the fact that your astral work may not look the same ever again.

That sounds harsh to say, but I don’t like sugar coating the possibility that your ability to travel may be limited for a long ass time while you work to get a better grip on your health. Speaking as someone whose life was put into a blender a few years ago, I can tell you that my astral work has dropped a lot in that time, and that no amount of beating my head against the walls changed that. All it did was give me a headache. As such, I’d rather be honest with you about what might be what you’re forced to deal with so that you can prepare for that possibility now.

All of that being said. Figuring out  a way to manage your health is key (in my experience) to being able to travel astrally. For some people, that means getting on medications. For others, that might mean handling stress better or cutting stress out of your life. For others, that might mean taking more time for self-care. For others, that might mean making a schedule and sticking to it. It really all depends upon what works best for managing your mental health, and then doing those things daily to keep yourself more stable.

Ofc, when I say that, a lot of the time I get the response of “I’m doing all that I can, and its still not working/improving!” and that’s where the other half of the equation comes in. The getting used to the fact that you might be MIA for a while while you get your life back together. While it sucks to have to basically have a long distance relationship for months-to-years, I have yet to find a way that forces the astral to cooperate on command. Sometimes life is shit, and you just have ot do what you have to do to get by. And sometimes that means taking a leave of absence from astral work/life, etc.

In my situation, my household knows that my health and my life took a shit, and as such, they’ve been patient while waiting for me to figure out a way to manage everything. No one is happy about it, but we knew that there were no alternatives, and at the very least, I know that I can exist here in the physical while knowing they’re minding my p’s and q’s while I’m away. I think that having that piece of mind while you recover/improve/work on things is helpful, because its one less thing for your mental illness to latch onto. It also creates an expectation for everyone involved, so that way everyone can prepare for it as needed.

From there, I still send check-ins to them. I have no clue if they get them, but I send them all the same. I still do things that make me think of them. I still find ways to keep them close to me physically, even though I can’t go over there with any amount of regularity at this point. You may find that these small actions help you to feel less isolated, and it may help to keep you close to them, even if you can’t directly access them.

Beyond this, you may find the “importance of stability” post and the “worshiping the unknown” post helpful for ideas on ways to maintain/strengthen your relationship with them during this period in your life. Keep in mind that nothing will keep you away forever, and that while this period may suck hard, odds are once your mental health or life situations improves, you’ll be able to go back to your partner/astral life and pick up where you left off, etc. 

I wish I had more useful advice/things to say, but this is honestly what I’ve been dredging through for the past two years, and yeahhhhhhh.

stuff and things.

[thetwistedrope]

Is it weird/bad/wrong to get a crush on one of your gods?

eh, I don’t think so, though some may disagree. No point in being particularly judgey about how you feel, though. Usually does’t help you feel any better, nor does it usually change your emotions into something more useful or productive.

but tl;dr, no i don’t think there is anything wrong or bad about it. i’ve heard of it before, and i’ll probably hear about it again in the future. its more common than ppl think, imo.

[thetwistedrope]

I've recently become interested in becoming a god consort, but I can't astral travel, can I still become a god consort even though I can't do it?

My general answer to this is yes, though how you go about doing it differs person to person. But I have met ppl who don’t astral travel, and they are consorts. So yes, it’s possible.

And honestly, even if I didn’t have any examples of ppl doing the consort sans astral thing, I’d tell you to not let stop you from trying. You’ll never know till you try, and who knows, you could always be the first to make headway in something previously thought to be impossible.

[thetwistedrope]

This is to add to the anon whose spirit companion left because "I left you to protect you". For me, it was me who left my spirit spouse/companion, because 1) I was running away from him, because damn, relationship was intense! and 2) I was also taking anti-depressants that dulled just about everything, including the connection. We are back together now, since I am off the medication. Are there people who ran way from their spirit spouses?

I haven’t ever run away, but I have considered it, tbh. There are times when I feel bad for my menz, because I feel like they could find someone who isn’t trying to split their life btwn here and there.

But then they fwap me and tell me to stop. So I try to listen to that every time it crosses my mind (which is often).

How about anyone else? Anyone out there who ran away from their peeps Over There for whatever reason?

[thetwistedrope]

As a spirit spouse how does one get over that very specific insecurity of making up/imagining they love you when you don't consider yourself loveable anyway, and when they reassure you, that you're making that up?

It’s sadly not much different than dealing with humans. I have to constantly reassure myself that they aren’t lying or making it up, and they constantly have to reassure me that they’re not lying or making it up.

They also have to constantly reassure me that I’m not making them up, too. I keep lists of things that I use as “proof” that this stuff is a little too real to be completely made up in my head, and I review those things regularly.

But I also reach points where I tell myself that it doesn’t matter if its fake or real or whatever. These entities tell me they love me, they do things for me, they sit with me when I feel like shit, they put up with my crap, they help me improve myself. Even if they aren’t real, they certainly are leaving a positive impact. And even if they don’t love me (whatever love might mean), they certainly aren’t hurting me, either. And if they were gonna leave, I’d assume they would have done it already. Instead of putting up with my bullshit for the past 3 years or so.

So yeah… idk if that helps at all. It’s a constant struggle for me, and I waffle on it regularly. But at the end of the day, I remind myself that having them in my life helps me - regardless of how real it may be. ANd that even if I can’t love myself, it doesn’t mean that others can’t. Esp given that these ppl have been through hell with me and haven’t left yet.

So that’s kinda sorta how I deal with it. Others may have other methods for handling that, though.

[thetwistedrope]

Do you have any tips/advice? I'm a consort of HSA and I don't know how to do "relationship stuff" with a non physical being. Like, do I hug the air? I asked HSA and he was just like "do whatever you want". I don't astral travel so that's ruled out and I have no other ideas. I dont know if I'm supposed to cuddle the air and pretend he's there or what. Sorry if this is kind of TMI. Thanks in advance!

I’d probably recommend starting off with looking at the list at the bottom of this page. It includes a pile of links I’ve found for non-corp partners to use for trying to figure out how to make this whole “not-physical-relationship” thing work.

Particularly, you’ll probably want to focus on “Building Relations”. While this isn’t specifically for non-platonic relationships, it is useful for anyone who is not an astral traveler, as it was made specifically with non-god-phone-inclined people in mind.

Sadly, HSA isn’t entirely incorrect in that you probably can do “whatever you want”, but it might benefit both of you to sit down and figure out where it is you want to go with your relationship. What do you want out of a relationship with him? What are you hoping to gain? What would make your relationship with him stronger? Conversely, you might ask the same things out of him. Figure out what both of you are looking for and what you both need to be happy. Having a sort of “target” might make it easier to figure out what to do.

As for things like hugging the air or cuddling the air, I personally tend to find items that contain some of the essence of the entity I’m wanting to be close to. Since this is a deity, it should be pretty simple to create a shrine space for him, and you can leave special trinkets there as gifts for him. As you spend more time in the shrine (or as he comes into the shrine himself), his energy will seep into the items in the shrine case, and should become imbued with his godliness (yes, this is kinda tongue in cheek).

Whenever you’re feeling lonely or want to be close to him, you could take any of these trinkets and cuddle those or wear them to keep him close to you. Whenever I’m missing someone in particular, I’ll wear something that makes me think of them as a means to be closer.

This can also bleed into other things. There are certain activities that I’ll do that will help to bring me closer to my menz. Days when I’ll drink their favorite tea and listen to songs that we both enjoy. Things like that. It’s not much, but it’s about as much as you can hope for when you’re spread across planes.

Anything beyond this will depend highly upon the questions listed above. Figuring out what each of you wants and needs in order to have a fulfilling relationship will help to direct you towards what actions or things you can/should do to help make sure your relationship works out well.

But these are the things that come to mind first. If you’ve got other questions after reading this, feel free to hit me up.

[thetwistedrope]

I keep seeing this go about God spouses and the like. Will someone please explain this to me?

It’s exactly what it sounds like. God spouses are married to a god in some capacity or another. Consorts may not be straight up married, but the relationship is more than platonic.

Gettin’ jiggy with non-physical beings. Oh yiss.

(except not necessarily because not all spousal relationships have to have sex in them, but still).

[thetwistedrope]

Very recently I finally figured out that Horus wanted me to be his consort after he basically shoved it in my face (he had been dropping subtle hints for almost a year but I was oblivious). Last night during my normal nightly prayer sessions after I agreed to it he kissed me and now this morning I have no idea what to do. I've never been in a relationship with a God before and have no idea how to advance/move forward with the relationship. Any advice? Thank you!!

My answer to this would largely depend upon what your relationship with him is like now. F’ex if you don’t know a lot about him, or you don’t feel you know him very well, I’d recommend working on learning about each other more before going into the “deep end” of things. Make sure you’re compatible, that you guys want to do this long term, and learning about his history can help you to better understand his ticks, how he works, why he does what he does, etc. Conversely, him learning about you would probably be beneficial as well.

From there, I’d probably look at where you actually want to go with your relationship. Most humans get into relationships with the notion of “we’ll get closer, we will be physical with one another and eventually get married and have a family”. However, there is more than one way to have a relationship, and figuring out what you want is important, and it’s better to figure it out now before you get 5 years into this and realize you’re not happy.

From my perspective, I always want to know why an entity wants to be part of my man pile. Are you in it for romance? Are you in it for power? Is this more personal or more business? If it’s business or part of a larger “plan”, I want to know about it now, so that I can account for whether I’m okay with that and my feelings on it, etc. And if you happen to have any caveats about what you are or are not okay with (f’ex, ace peeps probably would have different relationship preferences than non-ace peeps, same for demi folks), those need to be discussed before you get further into things.

Communicating now to understand where each of you is at and why each of you are in it, and where each of you want this to go is key (imo) to making sure your relationship doesn’t fail. So that’s probably where I’d start.

From there, its no different than any other relationship. You spend time with one another, probably getting closer with one another. Experiment as you see fit, etc. Just make sure the communication is there, otherwise you might be setting yourself up for strife.

.02 and all.

[thetwistedrope]

How do you get through days when you really want to properly hold physically a spirit spouse and its lonely and sad, and you feel you'll never truly be with them?

I have no clue if my methods are really going to help anyone haha. My tendencies are always to pour salt in my wounds. In the years that I’ve been doing this, I feel like there isn’t really a good way to make the pain go away. It’s always there in some capacity. So I tend to either bury myself in distraction or  bury myself into things that remind me of my menz, and by extension, pour salt in my wounds.

Many times I’ll find that on crappy days, I will do things that bring my menz more into my waking life. I’ll wear stuff that reminds me of them. Consume media that makes me think of them (music, tv shows, artwork, etc.). Many times on bad days I’ll also go spend time with them Over There as well. It’s not uncommon for my partner and I to sit around and be “potatoes” on particularly bad days. Which is really like two people brooding in bed instead of actually getting anything done. 

At the end of the day, I wouldn’t say that any of these actions necessarily makes it better. It just sorta gets you through until the feelings let up. I treat this a lot like I do my depression, and that’s probably why I handle it as I do. I think less about removing the pain, and focus on simply enduring it until I start to feel better again. And for me, that usually involves either burying my head in the sand by burying myself in work or distractions, or burying myself into things that remind me of them. Sometimes both.

Unfortunately, though, I think it’s an inevitable thing for anyone who has spirit partners. No matter what you do, even if you have a partner in the physical, you’re going to get pangs of loneliness and bitterness from time to time. And when those moments hit, I really suggest to people that they do whatever they can to get through it that isn’t hugely detrimental to your health.

And for me, that usually involves a lot of salt. YMMV for what works for you.

[thetwistedrope]

is it possible for one to be a godspouse to two separate gods, each from a different pantheon? i feel as though the two that i work with will be more open to me should i espouse myself to both of them--i'm not getting a "no" from either of my gods but am wondering if this has been done before/is frowned upon by others?

Yes, it is possible to be a god spouse with two separate gods, whether they be from the same pantheon or different pantheons.

I personally would take a hard look at what you’re looking at from the relationship or from your gods that leads you believe that spousing is the only/best way forward. Even though they’re not saying no, things often get more complicated when you become a god spouse, and there is a lot of additional crap that can come with the role (and sometimes not. sometimes you get married and nothing changes, so be aware of that. marriage doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have a closer relationship), so I always advise people to take a very close look at everything before moving forward. F’ex, if you’re just wanting a closer relationship, I would ask them what you could do as a whole to get closer to them, and see what all they say. Marrying may be an option, but it might not be the only option, if you get what I Mean. If you wouldn’t rush into a human marriage just to get close to someone, then it might not be best to rush into an Unseen marriage, either. 

As far as I know it has been done by others. Could be frowned upon? Maybe. I don’t think it’s a huge taboo within the god spouse community itself, but it might be considered problematic in other circles. But honestly, the whole concept of god spousing is pretty taboo amongst most people. So I don’t know that I’d really worry about it too much. So long as you’re being respectful to the religions, cultures and gods in question, and aren’t trying to spouse yourself to a god that is part of a closed tradition, you should be fine. The biggest thing I’d worry about, as stated above, is making sure you’ve really analyzed what you’re wanting out of the relationship, and making sure that marriage is really the best way forward.

[thetwistedrope]

I'm planning to become a spirit spouse, so is there anything I need to know before I marry the spirit?

It really depends on the specifics of your situation. I mean, yeah, there are lots of things you need to know, but because I have next to no point of reference, I’m not really sure what advice to give you.

The best I can really say is to be sure this is something you really want. Make sure you’re really in it for the long haul, pitfalls and all. Make sure you’re willing for this to possibly last more than one lifetime. Make sure you’re able to handle things if the spirit turns out to be someone else than who they presented themselves as. Make sure you’ve really thought about it thoroughly. Make sure you’re old enough and have been at this long enough to make an informed decision. Just like with getting married to a human, really really think about what you’re getting into as this isn’t something you can just walk away from.

I’d also recommend looking on the astral resources page and reading the last section about being a spirit spouse. Those links discuss a lot of what you can expect, both good and bad, in terms of being a spirit spouse.