#director's commentary on the fic lol

[non-un-topo]

To the next adventure...

Image description and details under cut

I.D.

[A drawing of Nicky, Joe, Quynh, and Andy from The Old Guard. They are all in profile, walking in a straight line facing the sun. They are dressed in medieval clothing and armour, and each carry their own weapons and bags. Nicky has his sword, a crossbow, a quiver of bolts, a dagger at his belt and another strapped to his ankle. Joe is holding his sword, a bag, and a coin purse. Quynh's bow is over her back, and her quiver is at her hip. Two daggers are strapped to her belt, one of them matching Nicky's. Andy is holding her axe, two bags, and a dagger. They each have serene expressions and closed eyes, as if they're not in a hurry. In the background, the seasons change from winter to spring, summer, fall. There is an old tree behind them, and its branches change with the seasons.]

[antiadvil]

i was reading your hoodie bow fic and this ask is just to let you know that i am so in love with that fic its actually insane. like if i could inject that into my veins i would. get that tattooed on my forehead. oh my GOD the silly banter... the way i could hear the whole fic in their voices in my head bc every word sounds exactly like what they would say... the initiating sex via kicks... and the END OH MY GOD LOU ITS INSANE IT HURTS ME like wtf why did you do that😭😭😭😭 do you WANT me to explode😭😭😭 "you have to get married to get divorced" "that's the fucking plan" literally shut up i hate gay people so much its unreal. im voting for trump in the next election bc i think he can put a stop to this bs with his zombie wife and maxxed out credit cards... sorry to send to a crazy rant ask btw but i think i already commented on ao3 and i didn't want to look TOO insane... anyway I'm actually fr in love with you thanks for being the best person ever and writing rpf with your glorious talent🙏🙏🙏🙏 bowing down to you fr💖💖💖💖💖 love from esmé

<333333333 look i'm insane about this fic too. i don't always get why some of my fics blow up and some don't but this one? i get it. within like a week it was my most kudosed story on ao3 and i get it. some of my fics i post and go "thank god i never want to look at that again" but the hoodie bow incident?? i reread that shit like 5 times after posting. more probably. basically i kept rereading it until i posted oh baby, seasons change, and then i started alternating rereading them lmao (i haven't decided which one i like more, i flip back and forth, i know the people have spoken and the hoodie bow incident has way more kudos but i think that's just because the "disgusting amounts of fluff" is not properly sycned with the "fluff" tag so it's harder to search for. I think I like the 2010 section of seasons change more but in the 2024 section they're not standing close enough to like mess with each other's hair and stuff and in the hoodie bow incident they're touching (omg) for most of the fic. but i like both fics a lot i think they're very vivid and just like punch you in the face with the sweetness. like "you've got to get married for that first." OOF. i know i wrote it but... it's the kind of thing that doesn't feel like i wrote it, it feels like it just appeared in my head. like it was the natural progression of the dialogue and i needed to put it on the page as fast as i could physically type before it somehow disappeared).

my favorite part of phil being like hey let's fuck and kicking dan's leg is actually when dan is like oh yeah sure. oh wait you mean NOW? it's so funny to me. like. babe can i finish reading this twitter thread first it's really funny :/

[more-better-words]

Time to get started on your magnum opus! (Can I call it that? Is it your most important work? Well, let’s just say it’s my personal nomination for your most important work thus far, shall we?) Tell me about Chapter 1: Option Two of From the Ground Up, the first part of your Built to Last series, please and thank you❣️😁⭐️

Okay, so, I never watched Enterprise when it first aired. All I knew about it was a) it had a weird, cheesy, unTrek theme, b) it was widely considered Not Very Good by Trekkie tastemakers, and c) it had a stunningly bad series finale. But then, almost exactly a year ago (geez, has it only been a year? Dang), my husband and I got COVID and we thought, why not watch the one Trek neither of us had ever seen?

And we liked it! It wasn't nearly as bad as its reputation had made it sound! It fell right in that sweet spot of being good enough to get invested in, while still bad enough to be amusing in a fixer-upper kind of way. And I certainly wasn't expecting to T'Pol to become my favorite character, or to be utterly charmed by Trip Tucker, but boy howdy did that happen!

All of this is long-winded prologue to say that I was 1000% on board with that ship. Then I watched TATV.

That's the one part of ENT's bad rep that is completely deserved.

Almost immediately, I got the novels. Like, within days. And I loved that they dismissed so much of what had been bad and dumb about TATV as bad and dumb. I wanted them to be enough for me. I wanted them to be the balm for my broken shipper heart. They weren't. They couldn't be.

But fanfic! Was there fic that continued Trip and T'Pol's story from the end of Terra Prime onward? Well…not really? At least, not that I could find.

Well, crap. I was going to have to do this myself.

Which was why I started writing From the Ground Up. At the end of Terra Prime, Trip and T'Pol are hurting, but they're not denying their feelings for each other anymore, so they're at a crossroads. Do they try to figure out a relationship or not? T'Pol will eventually explain her reasoning, but ultimately, as Trip puts it, they deserve a chance. It was what I'd wanted desperately for them, and via the magic of fanfic, I could make that happen!

[nerdstreak]

Summary: What does deviancy really mean? An uncertain Connor is thrown even further for a loop when another investigation leads him astray, but perhaps also brings him a fellow android to care about.

Chapter 1: Blood and Paint

alright, yall were interested in a redux, so let's start again shall we? let me know what yall think of the changes so far!

[cerealmonster15]

Home Is Where My Heart Is [JamiAzu]

Summary: Jamil goes on a two week travel vacation, and Azul looks after his apartment, and his pet parrot, while he's away.

[link to Ao3]

“Oh, are you  sure  you’re warm enough in just that coat?” Azul asked for what was probably the fifth time since they’d left Jamil’s apartment. 

“My answer’s the same as it was when we first got in the car, Azul.”

“I know you say that now, but you’re still a human! You’ve got far less tolerance for the cold compared to a merman like me, and even more so with you since you’re from such a warmer climate,” Azul fussed, as if any of that was new information to Jamil. “Here, take my scarf,” he insisted, removing the white cashmere scarf from his neck and wrapping it around Jamil’s. 

“Azul…”

“And your phone’s all charged?”

“Yes,” Jamil sighed. ”Would you relax? I’ll only be gone for two weeks. It’s not like I’ve never traveled alone before.”

Azul looked over Jamil and his bags, still trying to ensure he hadn't forgotten anything. “Well, excuse  me  for being a little extra worried when the love of my life is going to be out of my sight for fourteen days in a row!” He frowned, taking Jamil’s hands in his. “Promise me you’ll call me as soon as you check into the hotel, alright? Don’t make me worry.”

Jamil rolled his eyes, but a soft smile formed on his lips. “You sound like a fussy old husband, you know.”

That pulled a grin and a wink out of Azul. “Maybe one day, if I keep getting so lucky, I will be.”

“Ugh,” Jamil groaned. “I’m getting on the train now. Come here.” He put his hands on either side of Azul’s face and pulled him in for a kiss. 

Azul wrapped his arms around Jamil’s waist, holding him there as they pulled back. “…You’re not making it easy for me to want to let you go, dear.”

“I’ll be back in two weeks. Try to keep it together,” Jamil smirked, giving Azul one last parting kiss on the cheek. “Love you.”

Azul sighed, raising a hand to wave at Jamil as he got on the train. “I love you, too…”

*

Jamil’s apartment was easy enough to take care of. He kept the place clean and organized, and Azul had spent enough time over there that he had no trouble finding anything. Jamil, out of habit from the days he spent looking after Kalim, had left a detailed list of instructions of what Azul needed to do or where he could find things he might need while he was apartment-sitting.

This list, of course, was not necessary. Jamil’s apartment was essentially a second home to Azul. Information such as knowing what plants needed to be watered by how much and at what time, or where Jamil kept his good spatula - it was all second nature to Azul. Really, aside from Jamil himself, there was no one better than Azul suited to take care of-

“SQUAAAAAWK. SQUAWK SQUEAK CHIRP SQUAAAAAWK!”

Azul sighed and put the watering can down on the table before heading towards the source of the noise.

He leaned in the doorway, making eye contact with a bright green and yellow parrot. Upon seeing Azul, said parrot spread its wings out, flapping them aggressively.

“SCREEEECH, GO HOME, GO HOME!” The parrot shrieked. 

Azul walked over towards the cage to unlock the door. “Yes, yes, nice to see you, too, Pepper.”

Pepper made several attempts to nip at Azul’s fingers, and once the door was open, he promptly leaped over to Azul’s shoulder to nip at his ear and hair, instead.

“Smartass,  click click, smartass, smartass!” Pepper chirped.

“Oh, would you  please,” Azul lightly batted at Pepper in an attempt to get him off his shoulder. “Really, I’ve been dating Jamil for years. Why do you still have such a grudge against me?”

Pepper responded by attempting to remove Azul’s glasses with his beak.

Azul only sighed, pulling out his phone and glancing at the screen.

6:02PM. No word from Jamil, yet. 

Azul pocketed his phone and went to prepare Pepper’s food, while casually fighting for his life against the feathered beast the entire time.

*

A few hours passed into the evening, and Azul found himself glancing at his phone more and more as time dragged on. It was well past 8PM, and Jamil had expected to arrive at his hotel around 7:30 at the latest.

It took all of Azul’s willpower not to obsessively search the internet for any news stories of potential disasters related to Jamil’s travel path. Instead, he chose to get up and take a shower, dodging several airborne lunges from Pepper along the way.

As he was drying off his hair, Azul heard his phone ring from across the apartment. 

Azul, of course, had a special ringtone for when Jamil called him. He’d done so long before they started dating, under the pretense of “separating classmates from business calls,” but that excuse never really fooled anyone. Azul’s heart still fluttered the same way it would back then when he heard the melody ring out from his phone, and now especially as he’d been on edge for hours waiting to hear it. Azul quickly dropped the towel from his hair into the sink, and sprinted out of the bathroom.

He nearly slid off the couch with such force from his lunge to grab the phone. 

“Oof-,” Azul breathed into the phone as he landed on his stomach, barely catching his balance. “Jamil, hello?”

“Hey.”

Azul sighed in relief. The mere sound of Jamil’s voice, unharmed, was already enough to relax the tension throughout his body. So much so that he almost didn’t notice Pepper landing on his head and pulling at his hair again.

“Really, my dear, are you  trying  to send me to an early grave by making me sick with worry?” Azul chided. “I don’t think I would’ve been able to sleep at all tonight had you not finally given me a call!”

Azul could hear Jamil breathe what sounded like a very tiny laugh. “Don’t be so dramatic. It’s not even 9 yet.”

“And you were meant to check into the hotel  and call me  by 7:30! Can you really blame me for being worried?”

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry. The train was delayed by the weather, and the signal was bad, so I couldn’t get in touch with you until now.”

Sounds of traffic and people talking could be heard from Jamil’s end of the phone call.

“Where are you now?” Azul asked. “Have you had a chance to check in yet?”

“Not yet; I’m still walking over,” Jamil replied. “But, I knew you’d be stressing yourself silly over there, so I figured I’d just call now, since I have service.”

Azul smiled. “Well… Thank you. It  is  relieving to hear that you’re alright. Still, I’ll be more relaxed once I know you’re alright  and safely in your room for the evening.”

Azul didn’t have to see Jamil to know that he was rolling his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I’m almost there, anyway. I’ll stay on the phone with you until I get-”

The rest of his sentence was drowned out by loud squawking and pecking at Azul’s phone.

“Oh,  honestly,” Azul squirmed away from the bird, trying to keep the phone out of reach. “As I’m sure you can hear, Pepper is as lively as ever.”

Jamil laughed. “Good. He’s being a responsible guard bird, then.”

Azul scoffed. “Why on earth does he feel the need to guard against your  beloved partner?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because of how much we’d squabble back when we were students? He probably remembers how much I’d complain about ending up at not only the same university as you, but also the same dorm building.”

“I finally got my wish at sharing a dorm with you,” Azul chuckled. “And at the cost of the ire of a parrot for the rest of my life.”

“Was it worth it?” Jamil asked.

“Of course,” Azul answered without missing a beat. “Every minute I’ve ever spent with you has always been worth-  OW !”

Azul’s sappy monologuing was cut off by Pepper pecking at his cheek.

“Ugh, but  really , we’ve been dating for years, and yet he acts as though nothing has changed towards me since the day you brought him home.”

“Well, do your best to get along,” Jamil said. 

“I assure you that I am; It’s Pepper that simply refuses to put forth any effort!” Azul complained, attempting to once again free his hair from the gnashing beak.

“Yeah, well, he’s a bird. You’ll manage.” 

There were sounds of a door opening and closing on Jamil’s end.

“I need to check in at the front desk, so I’m hanging up on you,” Jamil said. “I’ll text you when I get to my room. Try not to let Pepper bully you too much.”

Azul could hear the smile in Jamil’s voice, and even though it was at his expense, he couldn’t help but smile back. “I’ll do my best. I love you. Thank you for calling me.”

“Mhm, love you, too. Talk later.”

There was a brief second of silence once Azul hung up the phone, and then Pepper resumed his shrieking.

*

The next couple of weeks were like clockwork. Since Azul didn’t have a pet of his own that he needed to worry about, he and Jamil decided that it would be easier for Azul to just stay over at Jamil’s while he was gone. Azul would wake up, water the plants, feed and release Pepper for some morning exercise, escape to the shower while Pepper flew around, and then come back to fight with Pepper so he could put him away and go to work.

In the evenings, he’d return to Jamil’s apartment and check on any other plants that might need watering or rotating. Then, he’d let Pepper fly around the apartment some more, which also meant constantly dodging aerial attacks.

Still, it wasn’t so bad, being in the home of his beloved. Knowing that he was doing all this so that Jamil could have an enjoyable, worry-free trip of sightseeing made every peck from Pepper’s beak seem trivial. 

And, of course, there were the nightly phone calls that Azul looked forward to all day.

“Hey. Pepper eat you, yet?”

“So kind of you to check on my well-being at the start of every call, my dear,” Azul said with a light laugh. “I’ll have you know that Pepper and I are nearing a truce on the horizon.”

“Oh yeah?” Jamil sounded interested. “And what makes you say that ?”

“He only pooped on my head once today.”

Azul could hear Jamil move the phone away from his mouth as he let out a very loud cackle of laughter. It warmed his heart, really, to hear Jamil genuinely sound so lighthearted. 

“I miss you,” he found himself saying.

“You’ve said as much every day,” Jamil responded.

“And it’s no less true today.”

Pepper flew over on top of Azul’s head, letting out a few screeches.

“...Pepper wants me to tell you that he misses you, too.” Azul said, cautiously reaching a hand up to see if Pepper would allow him to stroke his feathers.

He only nipped twice this time before relenting. 

Jamil laughed, softer this time. “Well, I miss you, too.”

“Me, or Pepper?” Azul asked, grinning to himself.

“Both  of you, moron.”

“Alright, I’ll accept that,” Azul said with a chuckle. “I’ll let you get some rest. I can’t wait to see you again.”

“Mhm, you too. Good night, Azul. Tell Pepper I said good night, too.”

Pepper squawked happily.

*

By the time Jamil’s return day arrived, Azul and Pepper had finally formed some sort of truce like Azul had theorized. Apparently, all it took was two weeks of solidarity over missing their favorite human while staying in the same house together. That evening, in fact, not only was Pepper perched peacefully on Azul’s shoulder while Azul prepared a welcome back meal for Jamil, but he was happily chirping softly along to the music that played from Azul’s phone in the kitchen. Perhaps Azul even sung along to the song with Pepper, but that was a secret he just might take to his grave.

“Alright, Pepper,” Azul said as he set the food aside to keep warm when he completed cooking. “It’s time for me to pick up our lovely guest of honor. You know what happens then, don’t you?”

Pepper hopped excitedly. “Sweetheart!” he chirped. “Sweetheart! Sweetheart!”

Azul smiled, pulling out a small black box from his pocket, and setting it down behind the birdcage. “I’ll count on you to keep an eye on it while I’m gone, alright? I can’t risk dropping something so precious while I’m in transit.”

“Pepper’s on guard!” Pepper said.

Azul scrunched his face slightly, remembering back when Pepper picked up that phrase during their days in university. Any time Azul complained about Pepper’s hostility, that was always Jamil’s response. 

“You sure are,” Azul said, opening the cage to put Pepper back inside.

*

After about an hour, Jamil and Azul were back in Jamil’s apartment, and Pepper was back to freely flying around the room, after happily nuzzling Jamil plenty while Azul took the time to sneak the black box back into his pocket.

“My trip was incredible,” Jamil said as the two sat to eat, “but I can’t deny that it feels nice to be home where I can relax.”

Azul smiled. “And while I’m glad to hear you enjoyed yourself, I’m all the more delighted to have you home,” he said, one hand fiddling with the box.

Pepper chirped from across the room, having landed back by his cage for a rest.

Jamil laughed softly. “I still can’t believe you two finally get along. I guess you’re still surprising me, even after all these years, huh?” he grinned with a teasing glimmer in his eye.

Azul had initially planned on waiting until after they’d finished eating, but the longer the seconds ticked by, the more his heart pounded in his chest. He stood from the table, walking slowly over towards Jamil. 

“Yes, well… I do believe the surprises don’t end there, tonight.” 

Jamil raised an eyebrow, but let Azul keep talking.

“Jamil… You know you’re my everything,” he said, reaching to take Jamil’s hands in his as he spoke. “These past two weeks were utter agony on my heart, having to be apart from you for so long.”

Jamil rolled his eyes, a smile creeping on his lips. “You’re so dramatic, you know.”

“Yes, I do know,” Azul smiled back. “I know that my  theatrics  are only fueled by how much I love you. I knew you were special, back when we were first years at NRC. The road that brought us here was exceedingly bumpy, but it was worth every step along the way…”

Azul sunk down to one knee. Jamil’s eyes widened.

“Jamil… You’re the first and only person I’ve ever dated, and I only ever want to be with you,” Azul continued, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the box. “I love you, Jamil. I will forever be devoted to you, as long as I live.” He opened the box. “Will you marry me?”

“Azul…” Jamil stared at the box. “...There’s nothing in there.”

Azul blinked. “...What?”

“The box,” Jamil pointed. “It’s empty.”

Azul turned the box around, his heart dropping when he did, in fact, see an empty box staring back at him. “ What!?  No, that’s impossible! It was right here, I even checked before I left! I specifically left it by Pepper’s cage, to ensure it stayed safely here while I was out…”

His heart was pounding from anxiety now. Oh, this had been going  so well, and now the most crucial component was missing!? 

“Pepper! What happened?” Azul exclaimed. “I specifically left you on guard!”

Pepper’s head shot up from where he was perched. “Pepper’s on guard!” He bent down again, rummaging in his cage, before taking off to fly across the room.

He landed proudly atop Azul’s head in front of Jamil, holding the ring in his beak.

Jamil stared at the sight before him for a few seconds, taking in Azul’s bewildered stare from where he was still kneeling down on the ground, with a bright and happy bird settling on top of him. Jamil would’ve thought they’d planned this, if Azul didn’t look so genuinely distressed and sweaty.

Jamil started laughing, reaching his hand out to take the ring from Pepper’s beak. “Oh my  god  ,” he said, trying to catch his breath. “This is…  god…”

He was laughing… and crying?

“Jamil…?” Azul asked gently, watching Jamil’s face with anxiety and concern. 

“You two, you’re ridiculous,” Jamil said, sniffling as he looked over to meet Azul’s eyes. “Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t make a grand show of your proposal at some fancy restaurant.”

“W-well… I certainly could’ve, if that’s what I thought you’d wanted.” Azul said, heart still hammering away in his chest. “But… I figured you might like something a little more… personal.” He fidgeted as he spoke, his brain feeling like complete static. Jamil hadn’t exactly answered his question yet... “Um…  would you have preferred-?”

“No, shut up,” Jamil swatted at Azul’s shoulder, then slid out of his chair to throw his arms around Azul’s shoulders. “This was perfect, obviously. Jeeze, I just…” Jamil sniffled, burying his face into Azul’s shoulder as the two moved to sit on the floor.

Pepper leaned over to nuzzle the top of Jamil’s head.

Azul wrapped his arms around Jamil, rubbing his hands up and down his back as Jamil tried his best not to cry again.

“Azul… I’m not- I can’t monologue my emotions like you can,” Jamil said with a slight laugh, pulling back to look at Azul. “So I’m not going to try. That’s your thing. I love you, Azul. And  yes,” he held up the ring between them, “I  will marry you.”

“Really!?” Azul said, still feeling extremely overwhelmed by such a jarring turn of events.

“Oh my god,” Jamil wrapped his arms around Azul’s shoulders and pulled him in for a kiss. “You’re so…  Yes, really!”

The rest of Azul’s brain finally caught up to him, and he also began to laugh, tears of relief filling his eyes. He reached up to take the ring, holding Jamil’s hand gently so he could slip it onto his finger. “...A perfect fit,” he whispered.

Jamil smiled, warmth billowing in his chest at the sight of the ring on his hand. “I’d expect nothing less, coming from you.”

Azul smiled, pulling Jamil close for another kiss, perfectly content to sit there on the floor the entire night. 

As long as he had Jamil by his side, Azul felt right at home.

[bellysoupset]

Okay, Sicily was SO GOOD!!! All the pieces of the story are so well thought out, and Bella and Luke getting married is just 😆😆😆!

Thank you thank you thank you!!! Sicily was so fun to write, to explore 1 scenario from every possible aspect. Honestly I could've stayed there for another week I think, but it needed to be ended 🙈

Luke & Bell's wedding was the second installment of the whole saga that I thought through! I originally had the idea of "gang in italy" + "leo with vin's fam" + "luke & bell marrying".

There was a whole long dialogue meant to go in one of the earlier pieces where Luke discloses his fam has a house in Italy because his parents met in Sicily, his father was touring and his mom in a business trip!

[threenounname]

Oh I'm sorry for being so vague! The ⭐ was for the ask game. I wanna hear you talk about your writing!

Ah, I see! Thank you for clarifying!!

I took a while choosing what to talk about but I’m going with this little section from Chapter 3: A Dangerous Progression:

So this is from the MiMo bonding in the kitchen scene. It was really important for me to establish where Momo sits with Mina in this part; it’s one of the main purposes of the whole scene (besides stupid, fluffy MiMo cooking together shenanigans, of course).

Originally these three paragraphs actually barely existed, this part was so much shorter and it only got this lengthy towards the end of my editing phase and very close to posting. I was reading Operation Snob Sabotage during the month that I was writing this chapter and I don’t know if it’s obvious but that actually influenced a lot of how this one turned out in terms of writing style.

That said, when I first published the update, I didn’t feel all that confident about this part and the way I conveyed Momo’s emotions in general because Operation Snob Sabotage’s style of writing is really quite different from mine. I was afraid of being pretentious (?), trying to be the kind of writer that I’m not and also the style potentially feeling inconsistent with the whole fic.

But reading it again now, I actually like how this one turned out! I really just wanted to highlight how her feelings for Mina was more of a subconscious thing that she’s only about to realize with Nayeon’s help—but that it was there, and it’s this sort of thing that just felt so natural to her that it didn’t even raise any alerts in her brain (also like… Momo is a little dense in every AU ok, that’s just a universal canon for her I don’t make the rules). I have a huge love for that kind of… love. I think it’s really cool and also fits Momo’s character well, and I’m happy with how I wrote that here.

[hey-august]

Stowaway

One year ago (on October 8) I started writing my first Buggy x Reader fic and shared it on Ao3.

I was overly ambitious by starting with a multi-chapter smut story when I hadn't written anything in years. Definitely no fanfiction since high school, which I graduated from in the early aughts.

I started because I had too many words in my head and needed to get some space back. (Jokes on me, there are still too many words in my head and all of them are for the clown.)

Anyways, cheers to Stowaway for letting me indulge in the fantasies, come back to a hobby that I enjoy more than ever, and for bringing me to this world and all of the wonderful people I've met! 🩷🩷🩷

Have some blabber director's commentary about that story (with spoilers obv):

This story was completely indulgent. Born out of an overactive imagination that kept reworking different scenes in my head and I was getting tired of playing with the same moments and had to write them down.

Specifically, the first spicy scene in the cell is one that drove me to all this.

I'm not sure I actually wrote any smut before this. Like a smutty filthy story... I read A LOT though. Lots of studying. So much.

Chapter 4 is one of my favorite things I've written. I think I have a thing for dry-humping. And masturbation in the shower. 🥰

Chapter 6 also has some personal faves. Sad clown + using knives as absentminded fidgets.

Also the conversation at the end of the Chapter 6 - it was more emotional than I expected.

You know what, as I'm skimming through the story right now, I'm really feeling like "who wrote this? it wasn't ME" lmao

I originally planned to have the story end with Chapter 7, but I was having so much fun and had a few more ideas I figured could fit. (Like the mango scene in a later chapter...)

BUT because I continued the story without much of an idea for a flimsy plot to push things forward, I was floundering.

The fight that Buggy and Reader have about what they want/how they see the future was what I came up with for plot, but, honestly, I still don't love how it came around.

Then again, I do love that it opened the door for a bit of angst and a cute date.

I remember feeling a bit bummed with how Chapter 8 was, but Chapter 9 made me feel like I was getting back in the grove. I was having fun putting Buggy in all sorts of situations.

Throughout the whole story that I wrote JUST FOR THE SMUT, I worried so hard about the plot lol, that's still something I struggle with.

I JUST FOUND A TYPO IN THE LAST CHAPTER, THAT'S MORTIFYING. GUESS THAT'S THE END OF THE DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY. 😭

[k-s-morgan]

Hey K, have you seen the controversy around Hugh Dancy’s answers to hannigram-related questions at the Fan expo? Some fans are mad saying he’s a Hannigram denier but I’ve been in this fandom for 11 years now and honestly, reading his answers, he’s still saying the same stuff he always did though? So I’m a bit confused as to why people are angry with his answers?

He always acknowledged they loved each other, that it was a romance, but platonic. Also, I think he’s got a very British sense of humor and is sarcastic and ironic a lot and was never really into discussing hannigram as an openly gay romance, but more so because he is a literal guy in the way he communicates. Tons of Brits are like that. Especially actors, they’re not keen on doing fan service or saying what people like to hear. Mads on the other hand, loves enticing the audience and talking about Hannigram the way they want to hear.

All in all, maybe it’s bc some of these people are new to the fandom, but I literally think that this was just Hugh being Hugh and he gave mostly the same responses as he’s done in the past. It’s a mix of his sense of humor and the tone of the fan expo which is light and not necessarily a proper interview where he’d be more serious and give long answers.

Overall, what do you think?

Hi! Yes, I know a lot of people were unhappy with Hugh's responses - I'm not watching the fandom as closely as I used to, but I'm still keeping an eye on it.

I agree with you in that I heard nothing new. In my opinion, the problem lies in the reputation of 'Hannibal' fandom. We're known as a (mostly) cozy place where the biggest M/M ship is canon and actively supported by cast, writers, and the director. They all said so many wonderful things over the years, things that keep being repeated and are taken as a fandom Bible.

That's why people might still be unpleasantly surprised when they hear Hugh's reserved, distant replies, or Mads' weirdly shallow answers, or Bryan's ideas that are all over the place.

The truth is, ten years separate these people from their work. Hugh in particular hasn't even seen S3 as a complete product, at least from what I lasted heard. Besides, they all have been inconsistent even when the show was airing - Hugh has an interesting habit of saying different things depending on what kind of interview he's giving and who he's with. As an example, in the commentary to S3, he agreed with Bryan that Will was jealous of Bedelia and snapping at her because of it, but then later, he said Will disliked Bedelia for basically being a bad person, with jealousy being unrelated to it.

I'll be the first person to admit that some of Hugh's (and others') answers make no sense or contradict the show, but over the years, I got very used to it, to the point where it doesn't faze me any longer.

Hugh thinks it would take Will 7 season to fall in love with Hannibal, even though 7 seasons haven't been in the plans for over a decade (as Bryan has settled on 5 ages ago), and Will's silence to Bedelia's question and his further choices clearly meant to show he reciprocates? Ok. Hugh things Will's feelings for Hannibal are unrelated to his feelings regarding his own darkness? Fine - at least he acknowledged Will is dark because sometimes there are some denials about it. He thinks Will's decision to betray Jack and Alana and get a bunch of innocent people killed has nothing to do with his love for Hannibal? Lol, but all right.

I don't believe S4 will ever happen. Now, if it's announced, and then I keep hearing the stuff I really don't like, I might get worried, but as it is, I just save the things I agree with and ignore the rest :D The show is over, and we are all invited to come up with our own version of Will and Hannibal's future life. I'm also absolutely certain that we, passionate fans, know the show much, much better than people who were involved in it a decade ago. I mean, if I finished writing a fic 2 years ago, then a reader who just read it will probably know it better than I do at this point. It's natural.

Also, during this reunion, so many wonderful things were said, too. About Hannibal inviting Molly 'for dinner' and Will describing him as a 'therapist' to her, Hannibal urging Will to lose at least a dog or two out of the thousand when they are on the run, Will being annoyed by Hannibal's fussy kitchen habits, etc.

Basically, I don't think we heard anything new or bad. Some answers might have been frustrating, but the good still tops the bad, in my opinion - and the bad isn't all that relevant.

[starcrossedxwriter]

Masterlist

Here is the master list for all my fics! The date at the bottom is the last time it was updated (I try to keep it as updated as possible)

Thank YOU for reading, liking, reblogging, and commenting! I appreciate and LOVE the reception and feedback and commentary more than you could ever know - it fuels me and keeps the inspiration flowing!

All stories have a face claim. However, with all my OCs, I encourage folks to see themselves in the story! Also I love angst BUT all my stories are happily ever afters so enjoy the emotional rollercoasters knowing everyone'll be ok lol Thank you again for reading! Love y'all!

MBJ Fics:

Built for Love Series - Michael B Jordan x Famous OC Reader Charlotte Elsbeth Jordan

Series Summary: Charlotte Bennett was not looking for love when she moved to LA and landed her first role in Creed. Quite the opposite actually. However, her costar, Michael B Jordan, makes her question everything she once believed possible for herself and her future. As she builds a life and relationship with him, ghosts from her past threaten to destroy it all.

Series Warnings: Violence, Mentions of past experiences with DV, Angst, Mature Sexual Content

** SMUT

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6**) (Interlude**) (7**) (8) (9) (10) (11**) (12)

One-shots:

Completely random one shots that follow Charlotte & MBJ as they navigate the world as Hollywood’s Black power couple. Whether it be stardom, their work, parenthood, or relationship drama, the Jordans are building a love that will last a lifetime.

Protective

Oscar Night Part 1** (Part 2**)

Bleeding Through (1)

Falling Apart (1) (2)

Date Night**

Asks:

Nicknames

GQ Couples Quiz

Wicked Fantasies - MBJ x Black OC

Moodboard: coming soon!

Series Summary: Raven’s life, as of late, was one unexpected turn after another. It seemed as though every time she got a break and could get her head above water, something came tumbling to knock her back down. As she struggles to get her foot in the door of LA’s call girl scene to make extra money, she stumbles upon her big break: Michael B. Jordan, Hollywood’s most famous, talented, and notorious actor, director, and playboy. One night of pleasure for him would solve many of her continuously mounting financial problems. However, an unlucky trip to the hospital and an ill-timed flash of a paparazzi’s camera snag her the proposition of a lifetime, one that would solve all her problems and allow her to live out her most wicked fantasies with the sexist man alive. However, she forgot one cardinal rule: fantasies and pretend never last and reality would always come around eventually. 

Warnings: Mature sexual content (18+), HEAVY Dom/Sub storyline (the whole nine), this is for the kinky girlsssssss, angst

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11.1)

Asks:

Late Nights

MBJ Requests:

A Love That Never Fades (MBJ x OC)

Erik Killmonger Fics

Unbreakable - Erik Killmonger x Black OC

Moodboard: Coming soon!

Series Summary: Naja, the younger sister of the Queen of Wakanda, hated few things. And at the top of that shortlist: Prince N’Jadaka. Well, if she were honest, he was the entirety of the list. Once destined to be a princess of Wakanda, Naja was the picture of kindness and grace. Now, she is hailed as Wakanda’s most fearless, dangerous, and reclusive war dog. After more than a decade of putting as much distance as possible between her and the life she almost had, Naja is forced to come face to face with the person she hates most again. With a threat looming over Wakanda and lives at risk, Naja must decide if trusting Prince N'Jadaka is worth the risk before it is too late.

Warnings: Angst

(1**) (2)

Last Updated: May 31, 2024

[non-un-topo]

Outfits of the Guard from an older fic of mine, Tangerine and Roc. Supposed to be a bit of a mix of styles from Central Asia in the late 15th century as they go about their travels, with a little battle-ready touch.

[wanderingblindly]

ok this is so broad BUT i absolutely adore your questionably homo guidebooks series and love the way you explore gender, shame, and desire in the two sequels, and i just would love to hear more about your thoughts on it, literally whatever you want to chat about (writing process, characterization in certain scenes, anything) ���

(this is for the directors commentary ask prompt)

oh my goodness this is such a hard one because the whole gender thing is like... so intuitive in my brain, I'm!!! Going to try my best to get it into words. Thank you so much for asking about Oscar's Guide and the Stockings sequel!!

Lando and being a Girlfriend

We must preface all conversations around this with like... obviously all things exist In A Society, all things I write are formed by my own experiences or perceptions of other's experiences, YMMV, etc etc. Now. The girlfriend of it all.

I think it's all rooted in the the contrasts within Lando's character: he's confident in the right scenario, painfully aware of his inexperience in others; he's got dating experience, but not in a way that really applies to Oscar at all; he's used to being the boyfriend and having a girlfriend, but not having... a boyfriend, because what does that make him? Obviously it makes him a boyfriend too, but does it leave room for....?

So to someone like Lando, to someone that's used to playing a """""man's""""" role in a relationship, someone who's at a sensitive spot in their life, there's a really strong appeal to feeling protected and taken care of; and, as someone with that limited experience, he associates those feelings with being a girlfriend. It's the best frame of reference he has.

On a more macro level, outside just Lando's experience, there's also a sort of possessiveness that comes from being someone's girlfriend. Whether or not that's a good thing is an entirely different can of worms of course, but perhaps Lando likes the feeling that Oscar has a claim to him no one else ever has. Lando's been boyfriend before, but he's never been girlfriend -- he's never wanted to be someone's girlfriend. There's a novelty and also a sort of like uhhhhh new level of virginity to the entire thing that appeals to him.

As for the shame angle:

Lando's always been a man in a masculine sport, a masculine environment; even if he's always been teehee haha funny about it, even if he didn't really have any qualms about dating a guy (because it's my AU and i make the rules), I still wanted to explore the sense of anxiety that can come with learning new things about yourself.

Oscar Piastri has made him lose his fucking mind.

Lando blames Oscar for it! He's so unwilling to admit that perhaps he's always had these feelings about himself, he just didn't feel safe enough to explore it, that he has to blame it on a third party! The anxiety runs so deeply that he refuses to see how these urges could have been something that only cropped up out of a deep feeling of safety rather than some sort of depravity.

His stomach churns at the thought, at the look he can see in Oscar's eye, at the way he feels like a teenager – all parts of him indescribably misaligned and out of place.

Another concurrent theme I wanted to hit on was the idea of stunted sexual exploration as a result of belated sexual realization. The first fic, Lando's Guide, implied that Lando was uhhhh.... a non practicing bisexual. He was into me, he'd flirt with men, but he'd never really done anything with a guy. As a result, both 'halves' of Lando's sexuality are at different points of maturity: he's an average twenty something when it comes to women, and almost adolescent when it comes to men. He's more innocent, more sensitive, more inquisitive rather than assertive -- and I think this specific moment of anxiety and shame highlights both the disparity and the consequences of it.

All of the shame is so beautifully balanced out by the deeply rooted trust in their relationship, I'd just like to add in there lol. Like, Lando wouldn't be able to wallow in this shame in the first place if some part of him, even if it's incredibly small, believed that Oscar would make him feel better.

There's also probably another angle here!! Add to the list:

Lando's self esteem and self image.

Lando's pretty vocal about not actually caring much for his face at all irl. Though I don't hit on that confidence (or lack thereof) frequently in this fic, I'd like to image that there's a connection between that and his fondness for Oscar (someone he trusts not to lie, someone so earnest, someone he adores) calling him pretty.

[ragnarokhound]

Hi bb 🐺 can you choose a 500 word snippet from one of your published fics or wips and give us some director's commentary / insight into what you were thinking when you wrote it?

Hi bb! ^^ Sure, I'd love to!

I'd like to take the chance to talk about a scene from intricate rituals, my omegaverse Jaytim fic featuring beta!Tim being courted by alpha!Jason.

This scene takes place near the end of the rising action, at the tail end of the fifth time that Jason was totally courting Tim, and Tim still did not notice. Obviously, spoilers under the cut for anyone who hasn't read it yet, and I am a chatty mfer so this got kind of long, haha:

Tim dozes against Jason’s shoulder as he fiddles with the bedroom door handle, and does absolutely nothing to help when they reach the bed in the corner; so Jason dumps him on top of the sheets without fanfare. He bounces on the mattress with an offended chirp while Jason turns to look through his dresser for something. Tim whines obnoxiously at the sudden cold and wriggles around until he’s under the cool top sheet, his face firmly shoved into one of Jason’s pillows. He squints an eye open when Jason still hasn’t finished doing whatever he’s doing, only to see him standing over the bed. His face is unreadable in the darkness, but Tim can tell that he’s clearly dithering.  Why? He better not be getting weird about this. It’s only weird if Jason makes it weird. Tim is not nearly awake enough to puzzle through the why right now. He’ll think about it later. “Jason. Get in the bed,” he grumbles. Jason startles at the sound of Tim’s voice, but does as he’s told. The second Jason is under the covers, Tim invades the inch of space left between them with impunity. But then— Jason stiffens, so Tim stops about point five millimeters away from actually touching him. “Sorry," Tim says quietly. "You're really warm?" He says it like a question, trying to explain himself and ask permission at the same time and he can't really tell if he's accomplished either. Jason seems to get it though; he takes a breath and relaxes, then closes the remaining distance himself. He pulls Tim into the hot cave of his body, leaving an arm slung over Tim's waist and tucking him under his chin. Tim sighs, a purr thrumming softly in his chest as he tangles himself in Jason. He buries his face in Jason’s collarbone and quietly wonders to himself how he got here.  He's not sure he knows how he and Jason went from barely tolerating each other in the same room, the same city, (the same costume) to cuddling like packmates in the same nest. Yeah, a nest Tim basically invited himself into, and okay when he’s more awake he’ll feel a little guilty about that— but Jason carried Tim here himself. He didn't have to do that. He had every opportunity to say no. To think that he has Jason's trust now. That Jason would let him in this close, have him at his back, at his throat, have access to the vulnerable parts of him. It's terrifying. It's wonderful. It’s only marred by the smallest hint of apprehension still woven through the sleepy warmth of Jason's scent, that Tim only catches because his nose is practically shoved against Jason's scent gland. With a small, trilling keen, he tries his best to project calm-safe-acceptance. He’s had practice at it since becoming Robin, since joining the Wayne pack, but he's always been better at masking his scent than projecting it. A lifetime of hiding is hard to unlearn.

(you don't realize how long 500 words is until you see it right there on the page lol)

So intricate rituals is practically a study in denial. Tim spends half the fic justifying to himself (and to us) why Jason's overt alpha courtship behavior has a completely platonic explanation, and never ever even hints that he, himself, a beta, might in fact want a romance with Jason. Even though he really, really does.

So when I start writing out the prose for a scene, I try to keep those big guiding principles for the overarching plot in mind, as well as what I'm hoping to accomplish by the end of the scene. There's a few things I wanted from this scene in particular.

First: absolutely gag-worthy #married behavior. This is it! This is the final example of Jason's courtship and Tim's flimsy excuses (AKA the formula for each scene lol). So it has to be truly outrageous. It has to be over the top. The cream of the crop. And this time, it has to be Tim's idea in the first place. Get hoisted (from your own petard), idiot.

Second: it has to set us up for why Tim is in Jason's bed in the final scene. I knew all along how this fic was going to end - with Tim in Jason's bed, but comfortable there already; the tip-over from platonic to romantic that only happens because they're in such a stupidly domestic position that Tim is FORCED to realize that he might not be the only one pretending that This Is Fine.

Third: this is almost a step too far for Jason. But not quite.

In the first half of this snippet, we catch the end of the egregious courting behavior. Jason literally carries Tim into his nest/bed. He has to step away to get PJ's or something - Tim's not paying attention to that, so we don't really find out for sure - and when he comes back to see Tim whining and wriggling and getting comfy in his sheets, he has to take a second. For #strength.

Like usual, Tim clocks that something is bothering Jason; that Jason is Experiencing An Emotion. But also like usual, he doesn't clock what it is. Even though it's obvious to us, the romance pilled and dramatic-irony-aware audience. Even worse, he's so deep in his own denial (which hopefully we've picked up at least an inkling of by now, but it's not explicitly told to us until the next interlude scene) that he blames Jason for making it weird. He gets so close to making the intuitive leap about why EXACTLY Jason might be hesitant about sharing a bed, but he's too ~sleepy UwU (and ~afraid OwO). UGH, TIM.

(I try to balance action with introspection. Action -> reaction -> introspection -> action. Jason dumps Tim on the bed -> Tim whines and gets comfortable -> Tim wonders what's taking Jason so long -> Tim opens his mouth to ask "hey wtf is your problem". But preferably the action/reaction is described vividly enough and in the character's voice enough that we can, like, microdose on introspection along the way and keep the ball rolling lol)

When Jason is told to get in the bed, he startles - he was lost in his own thoughts. I like to think Jason was pondering his own version of what Tim sort of torments himself (and us) with every scene; wondering to himself how they got here, lamenting the fact that Tim isn't interested in him the way he would like him to be, and thankful that he gets to have him at all. Maybe contemplating what might happen if only he was a little braver. If this is it; if this will be Tim's line, and whether Jason's about to cross it. (Tim lies to himself about his feelings. Jason is brutally honest with himself about his.)

Tim moves in for the cuddle - Jason stiffens because he's still boggling at this whole situation, and a little afraid that Tim will realize exactly where they are and finally tell Jason 'no'. Again, Tim clocks his discomfort - "Sorry," - and again he misunderstands its source, mislabeling the motivations behind Jason's actions.

Jason makes himself open, and Tim takes happy advantage. Awww, they're cute, even if I do want to strangle them 'now kiss' style. Cue Tim's 'isn't it crazy how we're such good friends now' narrative monologue for the scene.

(🔥"HOT CAVE OF HIS BODY" MENTION🔥) (i can't resist this phrase OTL i'm weak for it)(it's about protection it's about warmth it's about the primal imagery of being nestled under the weight of something powerful that loves you)(<- werewolf pilled)

In this last half of the snippet, I wanted Tim to kind of show his ass here, re: being in denial lol.

"He's not sure he knows how" - Tim, we all just saw exactly how you and Jason ended up here. Yeah, we skipped some of that early stuff, but we just saw the start of your deeper friendship. It started with an omelette.

"When he's more awake he'll feel a little guilty" - Tim, didn't you just explain to Jason and to us why you shouldn't feel guilty? That it's perfectly normal to share a nest with packmates? Why do you feel guilty about this, Tim?

"He didn't have to do that." You're right. He didn't have to do that, and he did have every opportunity to say no. Why didn't he, Tim?

He tries to explain that it must be because Jason trusts him. That Jason's trust is a wonderful and terrifying thing to have. Huh. Interesting. Why does that terrify you, Tim?

Then Tim picks up on Jason's scent. Jason's own fears are the only thing that can cut through Tim's spiraling thoughts right now. Jason's made peace with having what he wants so close but still so far; and yet, he still can't help but ache.

Wanting to ease Jason's discomfort is what makes Tim bold. He tries to make Jason more comfortable by reassuring him that Tim feels safe here. That he feels accepted, and that he accepts Jason - which is true, regardless of his secret, presumedly unreciprocated feelings. Aww.

The last paragraph was a two for one - transitioning us into wrapping up the scene, but also, low key? The thesis of what we've seen so far. This explains at least one facet of Tim's behavior, prepping us for his breakdown and the emotional reveal in the next interlude.

Why is Tim in denial? Why won't he admit, even to himself, that he wants Jason? Sexually, romantically? That Jason could be courting him, that Jason could want him too? Because he's always been better at masking than projecting. A lifetime of hiding is hard to unlearn.

I really enjoyed writing intricate rituals, and my biggest hope was that everyone would be ready to strangle Tim by the end of this scene - but also hurt for him by the end of the next. When you get used to the idea that you are unwanted or undesirable, in any capacity, it's truly difficult to let yourself be convinced otherwise. But there's bravery and freedom to be found in finally allowing yourself to believe it. <3

[more-better-words]

Today, with Chapter 10: A Formal Apology of From the Ground Up, the first part of your “Built to Last” series, I actually have a specific question for you. You by no means need to answer it, please just share whatever you please. 😄 I have read several fanfic that have T’Pol confess her Trellium-D addiction to Trip and apologize for concealing it. I perfectly understand why you wouldn’t include it in this chapter, one hopes in a Trekian future addiction is rightly seen as a medical condition and not a weakness of will. However, it does seem likely that T’Pol’s addiction (as well as, perhaps, her Pa'nar Syndrome) contributed to some of the difficulties Trip and T’Pol experienced in understanding each other earlier in their relationship. Do you see T’Pol, in your series, sharing this intimate knowledge about herself with Trip?

This is probably a good place/time to admit that I've never found the trellium-d thing super convincing. One can imagine an alternative version of season 3 where the simple stress of, and trauma response to, what they are doing in the Expanse is enough to explain the emotional dysregulation that T'Pol experiences, and that the addiction angle is...unnecessary.

So I've chosen to not really dwell on that facet of the season 3 story, and honestly, since other people have delved deeply into that storyline, I kinda don't feel like I need to. For me, the bigger issue for both of them (but especially T'Pol) is the mutual inability to be honest about what and how they're feeling. Trip will vacillate between taking it seriously and playing it off, while T'Pol simply can't face it because of what it means.

The biggest throughline of T'Pol's character in four seasons of Enterprise is how she slowly and unwillingly begins to develop an admiration, and then a fondness, for humans. And her feelings for Trip are just the next, more personal, step in that process. So in this story, in this whole series, the whole core of the thing comes down to this:

I feel that we share an affinity for one another that I never expected, and not simply because you are not Vulcan. I had never expected it with anyone.

Loving Trip isn't just loving a human. It's opening a part of herself and her own emotions she didn't really know existed. TPol learns something fundamental about herself through her relationship with him, and at first it's scary, then it feels transgressive, and then she embraces it, because it's her truth.

[teddywesworl]

ok y'all said you want director's commentary so I'm gonna start by saying a couple things about 🪑 since it recently celebrated 2k kudos

🪑DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY LET'S GO

1.

A fun fact about the poems at the beginning of each chapter is that I took two of the poet's classes in college, and she might be solely responsible for convincing me I was a good writer and should pursue the skill. I don't know how she'd feel about me using her poetry to thematically frame an explicit fanfic, but that's neither here nor there.

As a poet, she (I'm not naming her here in case she might possibly name search on tumblr, lol) is obsessed with transformation and with the discord between the material and spiritual self. Blackberries, Brambles in its entirety goes as follows:

Akhmatova wrote, "O look!—that fresh dark elderberry branch is like a letter from Marina…" And she was right, branches criss- cross, words sharpen. We lop them down, fit them into envelopes. But I forget: you don't do letters: Too much tangled in thickets and desperation. Did I say envelopes? I meant elevators. See, I've snagged favourite sweaters in high rises, snarled hair in hedges, given up skin scrapings for blackberries, tongueburst, the sweet stain, explosion under light canine pressure. Don't you just wish you were a dog sometimes? No panic. Romping through brambles. Even in delirium, near death, Akhmatova remembered. Her bitter friend had been dead a long time. Love. Don't think I'm thinking about you. Anything but you.

Akhmatova here being Russian poet Anna Akhmatova, and the Marina in question is Marina Tsvetaeva. You can go on as much or as little of a research spiral about them as you like; many of the layers of this poem are in the reference to Akhmatova and Tsvetaeva, but I was mostly interested in the commentary on the cost of pleasure. I've snagged favourite sweaters in high rises, snarled hair in hedges, given up skin scrapings for blackberries. What are you willing to pay for happiness? Wouldn't it be nice not to think about it? Wouldn't it be nice not to be afraid to pay?

2.

Obviously the other major literary framing device is A Room With A View. The movie, specifically, but obviously the Forster novel as well. A Room With A View is about the clash between tradition and modernity, familial duty vs. adventure and romance, etc. etc. etc. And like, listen, the Duffers have not put this much thought into Steve Harrington, but his arc, despite them, is that of the ultimate privileged 80s all-American masculine symbol taking a slow, deliberate turn toward Otherness. He was supposed to die a static character. He did not, and now we're all writing fic about it.

I probably didn't need to have Eddie literally whack the point home with a hammer with the you're Lucy line in chapter 2, but here we are.

3.

The other bits of ~Art~ in the Steve chapter are Elton John's The Fox and Bruce Springsteen's The River. As follows:

But if you’re wily, you will leave them lying, snared up in the traps that they set for you, Elton sings. And it’s an evergreen affair— Steve lifts the record out and replaces it with The River. Springsteen sings, you're walkin' tough, baby, but you're walkin' blind and that’s not really better.

The Elton John record, you may recall, was a compromise between Eddie and Nancy. The inclusion of these lines in particular was very vibes-based, but hopefully the vibes are semi-coherent. Snares. Traps. The hunter, the fox. Btw the next lines after these are:

As temptation taunts the fox Into the hunter's waiting lair

Which, okay. Teasing out the vibes just a little. Argyle interprets Nancy as Lucy (and implies, without meaning to, that Steve is Cecil--a character that represents old money and tradition and duty and, like. Being trapped). Nancy would probably also view herself as the titular Fox. And Steve has bought into this line of thinking! He sees himself as the snare! He has internalized the idea of life with him being a trap! He is Bullshit, etc.

Eddie complicates this self-concept. Through him, Steve becomes the Fox and Lucy. Temptation taunts the fox into the hunter's waiting lair, after all. And, you know: 🪑🪢

(The Springsteen lines are just. All Steve.)

Ok I have to go feed some horses. More.... later. eventually.

[corviiids]

THANKS @kimdokjafan you are so kind and generous. ok im cashing in the first of three blank checks to talk about faith trust and pixie dust (most recent chatfic) because the last two directors commentaries were too serious so let's do a silly one.

some p5r spoilers, and this is mostly about sumire, and it's long again. do i need to keep disclaiming that these are long? you should know me by now.

i had this written for a while before i started formatting it because i wasn't really sure if i should post it? i feel like silly chatfic is something people go to for predominantly lighthearted nonsense so i was like, maybe there's too much plot and dramatic misunderstanding and i should just keep this one for myself. but then i was like well nothing matters and maybe someone will have fun with it. it's kind of terrible how much fully or mostly completed fic there is my docs that just doesn't see the light of day lol. write for yourself etc but i like sharing! too bad it comes with the mortifying ordeal etc. anyway that was a tangent

potato counter is a neopets game. there's no deep lore i just like neopets. i guess in this universe ryuji doesn't play neopets? or maybe he's just never played potato counter specifically. i also have a different fic where ryuji DOES play neopets. it's about neopets and ryuji and goro talking on neopets.

i think this might literally be the first time ive written sumi in a fic because i haven't actually written that much fic for royal, like, now that im looking, literally almost none? and none that had a group dynamic. so it was kind of fun to find her voice for the first time in a silly groupchat like this. i was worried people would find her exclamation marks annoying but i personally thought it was endearing so i added it in there.

every time i do a gag where a character corrects their own typo i have to code more stupid little bubbles to make it happen but i think it's worth it. all the effort that goes into making tgis look as much like a real chat as possible

this obviously doesnt take place in the canon p5/r universe, but im imagining sort of a postcanon sumi personality where she's more comfortable being herself and isn't borrowing kasumi's brand of confidence, but she's visibly a really anxious person without that kasumi veneer. i also think in this universe sumire is a fairly recent addition to the friend group, and while everyone likes her a lot and she really likes them, i kind of wanted to emphasise that feeling of being in a friend group where everyone's established and you're sort of a plus-one? you don't really fit yet. part of that is her being new, part of it is her anxiety, part of it is just the kind of person sumi is where she's so polite and self-conscious she ends up taking herself out of things with her own good intentions. stuff like her interrupting the flow of an existing conversation by greeting everyone instead of jumping straight in because she doesn't feel comfortable inserting herself, which means everyone else stops to greet her even though that doesn't normally happen in a friend group, or making a point of thanking everyone for being invited to events while the others take it as a given.

idk i love that she feels a bit out of place with the phantom thieves in p5r. and part of that is a natural consequence of being a new addition in royal who can't be naturally integrated with an existing dynamic but i honestly feel like the writing team realised that and acknowledged it, and really leaned into it, and that made it work incredibly well for me. like, it's part of her character that she's sort of an outsider. it's not like p4g's incredibly clumsy integration of marie and subsequent attempt to shove her down everyone's throat as the canon love interest in p4ga (knife). sumi has that outsider vibe on purpose and it makes me really like her dynamic with the thieves as an individual

goro also feels slightly out of place in these chats, but his conversational style blends more naturally with the other thieves at this point and he even uses their codenames sometimes. i keep saying my chatfic series isn't a real Series because the lore keeps changing, but if we accept that they're all kind of following a General Continuity, assume this takes place some time after the last fic in which ren added goro to the groupchat and they made an effort to integrate him into their friend group. he's kind of there now and has settled into being the weird boyfriend. that's his role.

every time goro says something like "ren and i" assume it's the text equivalent of him talking to the group with his arm around ren's waist.

ok i got really fond of this silly running joke where sumi brings up the weather when she's feeling uncomfortable. she's so polite. i like this thread because setting it up meant i got to tie it off like this:

this just made me happy lol i liked writing this. i tried to use it to demonstrate that despite goro's abrasiveness he obviously knows sumire pretty well, he's attuned to her quirks and knows how to tell when she's having a bad time with her anxiety, so he uses her little weather habit to ground her.

i honestly dont think goro and sumire could be considered close in p5r and as much as i like the "royal trio" in canon they're not really... like... friends? with each other? they're both attached to ren, so it' more a V shape than anything else. but that said, i really LIKE goro and sumi's canon dynamic. he takes a really grouchy but politely attentive supervisory role to her during their few forays into the palace as a trio where he doesn't really know her well but clearly identifies her as a harmless little tryhard who needs some guidance and steps into that role grudgingly, and she immediately looks up to him despite being very wrong footed by his ruthlessness, which i find incredibly charming. i think given time they could be good friends, they just didn't get much chance to know each other very well in canon. so i tried to kinda do that here.

once goro stops being evil and joins the group they all kind of tiredly accept that his role is to occasionally push a cup off a bench while smirking and refuse to clean it up. emotionally, i mean.

wait i need to backtrack chronologically to talk about akeshu.

in this scene they're in the same room lol talking and snickering while typing. im trying to get at that vibe of the annoying couple who is flirting with each other, via you. you know? like ostensibly they're talking to you (sumire) but everything they say to you is part of their stupid game. sumi is incidental to goro and ren teasing each other about flirting with someone else, goro is reporting everything ren says because his boyfriend is so eye-rollingly foolish in a cute way. they're very tickled by how amusing and charming they are. gross. disgusting. sumire im so sorry for putting you through this

anyway here are too many of my favourite jokes from the fic