#directing the employee where to put things bc i had to KEEP MAKING DRINKS bc she DOESNT KNOW HOW TO MAKE DRINKS

[orcelito]

Tfw ur like "I want a drink that will HURT"

My drink of the day is a ginger latte with brown sugar and cinnamon. And oat milk. With extra ginger.

Got a nice kick to it

[moonlightsolo]

Holy shitski that HS blurb was perfect! Part 2 or maybe a Harry styles fluff where reader passes out at a meet and greet bc they forgot to eat and stay hydrated (bc I would totally do that honestly lmao) and Harry is the sweetest and has to make sure they’re okay before continuing on.

falling

wc: 2.5k

pairing: harry styles x reader

warnings: fluff!!, harry caring for the reader, honestly it’s so sweet it will make u get cavities, platonic!!

note: thanks for being so patient w/ me!! i’m working on everyone’s requests slowly but surely :)

sweet creature had another talk about where it’s going wrong, but we’re still young….

you let out a frustrated groan in your sleep from your alarm disturbing your sleep. you roll over to blindly reach for your phone to turn it off. one eye peeks open to check the time. five am on the dot.

your lock screen reminds you what day it is. it’s the day of your harry concert.

you suddenly gasp in realization and sit straight up. you chug some water to help replenish some of your energy before hopping out of bed to throw your jacket over your pj’s. you push your feet into your slippers and out the door you go.

the drive to the arena isn’t terribly long and there’s about one hundred people in front of you when you arrive. soon, it’s nine-am and the line is wrapping around the street. you’ve been sitting on the cold ground, sleepy and waiting for the employees to hand out wristbands.

thankfully, harry allowed meet and greet packages to be sold for this tour and you refuse to speak of the money it costed you. which means you’ll get to go home, get a few hours of a nap in then wake up and drive back to the arena to meet harry styles.

finally, you’re handed your wristband. you’re number one hundred sixty-seven. you sprint back to your car, trying to beat the traffic of people to get back home.

after getting home, you collapse on your bed and fall back asleep with your shoes on.

the familiar sound of your alarm fills your ears. you sigh as you get up to start getting ready. after a shower and blowing drying your hair, you begin your makeup.

although your nerves are a mess and your hands are shaky and sweaty. you can’t eat because you’re nauseous, but you’re also nauseous because you haven’t eaten. you decide to drink some water instead, hoping that it will suffice for the time being.

for your outfit, you opt for denim mom jeans, a knitted sweater, and converse. you wanted to keep your outfit simple since you’ll be going all out with your concert outfit later tonight.

you drive yourself back to the venue, and park in the designated lot. you bring your water bottle and head toward the entrance where some people are lining up.

you can’t help but look over everyone else’s outfits and feel ridiculously underdressed. they’re all wearing extravagant matching suits and sparkly fabrics.

you turn your attention to twitter, scrolling through your mutuals tweets about the meet and greet.

canyonbree345: i’m so jealous of the people going to the meet and greet today. jealousy is a disease and i have it 😭😭😭

harry_isbae: one night only meet and greet?!?! harry that’s not fair.

you sigh and close your phone as the line starts moving forward. the employees ask for the digital ticket on your phone so you pull up the app and tap it against the reader. a ding signals it went through so you walk inside and put your belongings in a little basket before walking through the metal detector. “sorry, you’re not allowed to take that in.” the security guard points to your water bottle.

“okay, yeah that’s fine.” your voice shakes as you watch him throw away the plastic bottle.

once you’re free, you grab your things and follow the directions to where the venue employees are pointing for everyone to go.

you could feel the anxiety rising in your chest like a tsunami rushing toward the shore. your stomach growls from hunger and flips from your nerves being shot.

the group of people you’re with are lead to an area backstage with concrete walls and dim lights. there’s crew members dressed in all black rushing around as they prepare for the show tonight.

“okay everyone! sit tight. one group at a time will go through the curtain and harry will be behind them,” countless people squeal in excitement, “you’ll get a photo and you’ll have an allotted time of three minutes to talk before you have to move on.”

the mention of meeting him made you feel woozy. you wish you could take a sip of your water to calm yourself down.

soon the line began to move, people were plucked from the beginning of the line as others around you were talking amongst themselves in their groups.

you weren’t lucky enough to have a friend with you today so you just casually looked around and glanced at your phone.

soon the line was starting to shorten in front of you, only about three people until it was your turn. the black curtain swings open and someone on the other side gestures for the next person to walk through it.

you squint hard and barely caught a glimpse of someone’s tattooed arm. your blood runs cold and you stop breathing. you’re really about to meet harry styles. that was him.

the three minutes goes by insanely slow, then the last person in front of you is ushered forward.

you hear muffled voices and see the flash from the camera from under the dark fabric. your chest aches with anxiety and your head feels heavy. you're starting to feel unreasonably dizzy right now.

it’s your eyesight that starts to go first, black slowly trickles in from the sides and your whole body feels numb. you suck in a last breath, the air being ice cold as it travels into your lungs.

the last thing you remember is the thud of your phone slipping from your grasp and falling to the floor.

now, you don’t really know what happened next, but you definitely followed your phone. thankfully, someone had caught your head before it hit the ground.

the first thing you feel is your lungs, they feel heavy as you suck in a deep breath of fresh air. your fingers twitch at your side then your eyes flutter open. there are a group of workers crowded around you, some dressed in all black and some lady speaking into a walkie-talkie.

you groan in pain from the pounding in your head, then you look over to your left see the line behind you has been pushed back quite far. everyone in the line has wide eyes and are whispering amongst each other.

your rusty bones turn your head to the right, unexpectedly coming face to face with your idol. suddenly, you feel the existential dread of death. maybe you died, like actually died, and this is your heaven.

“are you okay?” his voice is deep and smooth, and his accent is to die for. (pun intended)

“no- yes. i don’t know…. what happened?“ your voice is slow and gravelly. you slowly start to sit up but he shakes his head no, “you need to lay down for a moment. they need to make sure you’re okay.”

someone next to you wraps a blood pressure cuff around your arm but you can’t take your eyes off of him. harry gets handed a water bottle which he unscrews to hand to the medical team member.

they aid in holding your head up as they give you sips of the cool liquid, “what’s your name? have you eaten anything today?” the medic asks.

“no. i haven’t. i wasn’t feeling good.” you respond once you swallow and tell them your name.

“we should probably get her a snack or something with sugar.” another person says.

your eyes dart around at the numerous people worried about you and your health.

slowly, the person beside you helps you sit up along with harry’s help. you’re able tohold onto the water bottle by yourself now, slowly sipping at it.

“are you feeling alright, love?” harry asks, still crouched down by your side.

you nod, eyes wide as you stare at him. you must look a mess right now. “we’re gonna take you to the hospital okay? just so we can run some blood work.” the person on the side of you says.

“no wait! what? i’m fine! i’m fine!” you protest as the medical person helps you stand up slowly.

“i woke up at three am for this and i’ve waited in a line and literally fainted and i can’t even meet him formally? or take a picture?” you sigh in defeat.

“please just let me take a picture?” you look up at the person holding onto your arm, tears are welling up in your eyes.

“only if you feel okay to.”

“yes! i said i was fine.” you spit your words out quickly.

“are you sure?” harry asks, standing there with his hands on his hips- kind of like a worried dad.

you nod your head vigorously, and harry reaches a hand out for you to take. you could scream right now. this isn’t real!

your shaky hand slides into his as he guides you behind the curtain. there’s a backdrop and a very nice expensive camera on a tripod. the photographer stops talking to someone sitting down and waves at you with a smile.

“hi.” you say nervously.

“you’re honestly a trooper. you fainted and still want to take a picture with me.” harry chuckles as he puts his arm around you to pose. he does an open mouthed smile as he points over to you.

you laugh and wrap your arm around his waist to press into his side, not purposely meaning to lean into him so much but you still feel weak. the photographer snaps a few photos of you laughing and then smiling directly at the camera.

“you’re just so special to me, harry.” you compliment him and pose for the picture with a peace sign behind his head.

“that means a lot, thank you.” he gives you a sheepish smile and squeezes your shoulder softly.

the photographer stops taking pictures when a timer goes off then goes to grab a bag of goodies for you. she hands it to harry and he hands it to you.

“there’s a bunch of stuff in there. some snacks too just in case.” he winks jokingly which makes you giggle.

“stay well, okay? i hope to see you tonight at the show.” he leans in for a hug which you gladly accept. you hold onto him for as long as you can, basking in the feeling of hugging harry styles.

“i’m actually going to be in the pit tonight.” you mention and harry raises his eyebrows with a questionable look.

“i’ll make sure that i get something to eat before i come.” you add quickly which makes him smile.

“good, good. i’ll keep an eye out for you then. no more passing out.” he chuckles.

“can i take a selfie with you?” you ask before you’re put back into the medic’s care.

“oh yeah, of course!" he slings his arm back around your shoulders and waits for you to get your camera ready.

you grab your phone, noticing a little crack in it but honestly you could not care. you hold the phone up at an angle and smile widely as harry puts a thumbs up. you look over it before sliding your phone in your pocket.

“thank you for everything. like honestly, i don’t know what i would do without you and your music.” your voice cracks and you swallow the lump in your throat.

harry knows you seem a bit emotional and he puts his hand on your shoulder in comfort. “thank you. i couldn’t do it without you.”

the medic takes a step into the room, making sure everything was okay. “okay i should go… thank you again. i love you. you’re amazing. i’ll see you tonight!” you point back at him as the medic starts to lead you away.

“and the same to you! thank you!” harry says before you disappear behind the barrier.

the medic sits you down in a wheelchair and hands you an orange juice container with a straw in it. you slowly sip at it as you get rolled past the line and back outside to an ambulance waiting for you.

you’re laid on a stretcher then lifted inside the vehicle to be taken to the hospital. on the way, you text your parents to tell them what happened while getting poked by needles and your upper arm suffocating from a blood pressure cuff.

your mom and dad meet you at the entrance, and while inside everything is a breeze. your doctor said your blood sugar dropped too low and in return you fainted. he just reminds you to stay hydrated and eat before big events.

once you’re discharged from the hospital, you rush your parents to bring you home. you quickly get ready, throwing on your clothing for the concert and your mom makes you finish a whole plate of dinner and three glasses of water.

your friend meets you at your house in her matching outfit. you’re wearing blue wide leg trousers, a white and blue printed halter top and converse. you’re also wearing white goggle sunglasses with a leather purse. your friend is wearing the exact same thing but in pink.

she gives you a huge hug before ushering you to the car. you can’t help but show off the picture you took with him and telling her all about what happened and how you fainted. you both get to the arena quite late because of your hospital visit, but you still get a good spot in the pit nonetheless.

your friend goes to get you a water bottle and a snack you won’t eat but you’re grateful that she’s worried. jenny lewis starts to play and you can’t help but sit down in the back because of your legs being weak. you do cheer as loud as you can after every song since she is a great performer.

then the songs go by that harry plays at all his shows. you sing to olivia by one direction, i’m coming out by diana ross, and bohemian rhapsody by queen.

sweet thang by shuggie otis plays and then harry starts to rise from the stage to play golden. you can’t help but to scream, jump and dance like you never have before.

“oh my god! it’s really him! oh my god!” your friend screams loudly as she dances with you.

he sings a few more songs before he starts to talk to the crowd. “i’m looking for a certain person tonight in this pit.” his eyes scan the crowd on the opposite side you’re standing on.

“i have a sleepy friend in the crowd named, y/n.”

you could say you almost passed out again.

you scream as loud as you can as you jump in place. you and your friend scream and wave your arms in attempt to get his attention.

“over here! over here! that’s me!”

the crowd begins to notice your ruckus and start to point at you and yell at harry. “over here?” he speaks into the mic and walks over to your side. the spotlight moves around the crowd until it finds you.

“ah! there she is!“ harry points at you with a big dimpled smile, “this next song is dedicated to you.”

he gets handed a guitar and begins to strum the beginning to falling. the crowd goes quiet as they listen to the beautiful song.

“no fucking way! that’s so embarrassing!” you scream at him which makes him laugh.

harry really dedicated falling to you since you fainted. wow, what a cheeky man.

you and your friend did enjoy the performance though, swaying side to side together as you listen to the blissful sound of harry’s voice.

fainting could have been the best and worst thing to happen to you today, but knowing you met harry and he dedicated a song to you (and your accident) made everything better.

[erectionsandtea]

Roller rink skate date headcanons! (poly party) insp. by this post, for @mike-wheeler-is-gay (I know you wanted byler specifically and I usually write poly party, but I tried to stick some extra byler in here for you, I hope I did it justice and that you like it!)

So many paragraphs this should really just be a fic, I'm sorry

- Mike is super tall and gangly is absolutely the worst skater in the party (tied only with Lucas, who put on his very first pair of skates and promptly fell on his face and they weren't even on the rink yet, they were still on the carpet area)

- the moment Mike steps into the actual skating floor, he falls bc he's tall gangly uncoordinated Mike, and Will is just standing there rolling his eyes, like "babe, you're a mess" but he doesn't mind bc it means he gets to hold Mike's hand (and hold Mike in general) while he helps his bf balance and skate

- and Mike is like "I don't deserve you, why are you even with me, I'm so awkward" (poor self deprecating bby), and you know Will would respond with "are you kidding, you're amazing, why are YOU with ME?" (also a self deprecating bby), but then he falls and pulls Will down with him (aka on top of him lol)

- and they laugh, and just as their lips touch, the moment is ruined by Max zooming in their direction screaming "get up before you get run over!!" And she manages to avoid them (being the zoomer that she is) but Lucas has to swerve and falls the fuck over ofc (luckily the rink isn't super crowded that day so nobody's in any real danger)

- and Dustin is looking at byler like "this isn't even that hard guys, come on, are you even trying??"

- El and Will have totally been going to the rink (sibling bonding yo) and everyone realizes that's how they got so good bc El is totally the best skater in the group

- except for Suzie who is a skating queen

- El and Suzie totally having races from one end of the rink to the other

- Max totally joining them and they let her win, just once

- Dustin joining them and after he wins twice in a row (pure luck), Max and El pretend cross his path and bump into him, totally fucking him up, and Dustin's just like "are you shitting me?" (but it's all in good fun, everyone knows that)

- El and Max holding hands as El helps her get better at skating, bc Max is decent on skates but better on her skateboard (bc how do you wheels on both feet separately ??) (like skiing vs snowboarding)

- byler doing that thing where holding hands facing each other, and Mike learning how to actually move his feet and skate forward, and that's propelling Will backward (and Will constantly throwing praise at him and Mike grinning so big bc he's doing it! lol)

- Will and Mike holding hands as they slowly skate around the edge of the rink

- Mike needing to stop a moment and grab the wall to keep himself up and steady, and Will coming around in front of him, his hands over Mike's,and they stand there all adorable and then kisses (except Mike has to duck down bc Will cannot stand on his tippy-toes in skates)

- eventually Mike is like "I need a break" (from falling and stuff, tho he has gotten better) and he goes to sit down

- and then El comes over to join him bc "you looked lonely" (he isn't really lonely, he just kind of has a resting bitch face sometimes, tell me I'm wrong, am I actually wrong tho ??)

- they sit together in silence, watching the rest of the group playing some weird skate-tag game (rules at the bottom)

- Mike is watching Will with a smile on his face, laughing and having fun, and he says to nobody, really "what did I ever do to deserve him?"

- El replies "probably whatever I did to deserve you" and they look at each other and smile and then cute lil Mileven kiss

- their hands reach over (cos they are sitting like RIGHT next to each other, no space)

- they continue to sit there, hands clasped, her head on his shoulder, watching the group and sometimes making comments to each other and laughing

- after a while Will comes over to check on his bf and sis) ("I don't know which is more bruised, my knees or my ego" -> Mike, "you're doing really well!" -> El), which is actually kind of nice for El bc she wants to go skate some more but she doesn't want to leave Mike by himself

- before she leaves tho, she wants a kiss, so still holding Mike's hand she gets up and wheels around to face him and grabs his other hand and is like "I want a kiss" bc she's just blunt like that (it's a good thing)

- and mike laughs at her bluntness bc SO CUTE, and so Mike gives her one of those super cute kisses where he puts his hands on the sides of her face, you know? And she has to balance herself by putting her hands on his knees (Sorry, I just had to get a Mileven kiss in here)

(so much detail in those moments ^ I'm...sorry?)

- so Will sits there with Mike, and they hold hands and share kisses and say cute sweet things to each other, and honestly they spend more time looking at each other than anyone/thing else

- Will goes and buys them one giant drink to share bc boys gotta stay hydrated (can someone please draw this or maybe ALL of this idk ??)

- the rest of the group annoys them (but not really) by hanging over the wall and saying "AWWW" super loud and making kissy faces

- and then El comes back over later and says "okay, that's enough sitting down, we're going back skating, come on" and she grabs Mike's hand and Will's hand and tries to pull them up but it's hard bc wheels (like she's about to slip and the boys have to grab her arms to catch her), but the boys comply and go back to the rink floor

- Dustin and Suzie can totally do skate-dancing, whatever that is (and they totally get applause)

- Max skating by everyone so many times and being like "zoomer!" and everyone is like "pls stop, we get it"

- Dustin trying to tell help Lucas how to skate by actually explaining how the skates and the rubber stoppers work, and Lucas not getting it and just being like "can you explain in English please??" And Dustin throws his hands up like "I fucking give up, you're hopeless"

- Max learns how to skate in a small circle (basically just turning around without stepping) and she's super fucking proud of herself and does it constantly

- Max eventually needs to be stopped by El and Lucas bc "babe, you're gonna get so dizzy" (you can decide who says that 😊) but it's too late bc she's already dizzy

- Lucas and El lead Max off the rink floor and she just immediately falls down to sit on the carpet bc so dizzy and El falls down next to her bc hand holding (she gets pulled), and Lucas sits down too

- the girls can't stop laughing and Lucas is looking at them like "tf is wrong with you guys?" (but not really), also he's just smiling at them and laughing with them bc goddamn they are so cute, his girlfriend is the most beautiful girl in the world and seeing her as she is right now just inflates his heart

- eventually Max can't stay upright so she lies back and El follows her and they are just lying there together (Max on her back, El on her side facing Max, no space), giggling so hard, they can't stop laughing for some reason (I think it's bc when one laughs, it makes the other laugh too)

- Max is like "you, boyfriend, kiss" and so Lucas complies

- an employee has to come over and say "you can't lie down here, it's a safety hazard" and Lucas is like "we're sorry, sir" and he's like "babe, we gotta move"

- so he gets the girls up and they bring max to a bench where she can sit, instead of sitting tho, she lies down again, on the bench with her head in El's lap, and then elmax kisses as El plays with her hair

- El and Max basically take over the bench that Mike and Will were sitting on, and they also steal the boys' giant drink (barely a quarter empty) cos hydration

- Will and Mike trying to kiss while not holding the wall, but fucking down AnD having his eyes closed throws Mike way off balance bc what a klutz, and then he falls and Will is fuckin laughing and he feels bad but also it's funny

- so then Will gets down too (more gracefully but lbr, anyone can be more graceful than Mike, without even trying) and is like "it's okay, we can do this here" and then sitting kisses

- El trying to help Mike but she's having too much fun and ends up just speeding around while Mike tries to catch up with her, and she has to keep going back for him

- Mike feeling kind of embarrassed bc his gf is amazing while his own skating is questionable, and he confides this to her and is like "why are you with me, I'm so clumsy and awkward" (self deprecating again), but El makes him feel better by telling him that she's with him bc she loves him and actually she thinks it's kind of cute that he's not that good at skating and she likes being the one who helps him for once (bc he's helped her for so long with so much)

- and then Mike gives her one of his lil mike-smiles (you know the one I mean, like the one right after he kisses her for the very first time, in season 1)

- and then a Mileven kiss, but Mike almost loses his balance again like he did with the byler kiss, but El can sense it's about to happen and has to break their kiss to hold him up (she's holding both his hands, fingers intertwined), but it's okay, they just smile at each other share a little laugh at the situation and how uncoordinated he is, and they scoot their skates really close together in a sort-of huh type thing

- arcade games after!! (But I'll put that in its own separate post 😄)

- rules to the weird skate-tag game: 1) the wall is the safe zone, but you can only stay there for 10 seconds at a time 2) you cannot untouch the wall for one second and then go back to touching it for 10 seconds, you have to actually leave the wall and skate (HOWEVER you can try to skate from the wall on one end of the rink to the wall at the other end) 3) you are allowed to skate around the edge while touching the wall, as long as you only do so for no more than 10 seconds 4) whoever is 'it' cannot hover around those on the wall 5) crashing into someone does not count as tagging them 6) no tag backs

~

I tried to get equal parts of all the ships in this one but I know I failed miserably, I'm so sorry lol (clearly you can tell who I ship the most)

If you want to add more (I will if I think of any), send me ideas, or request anything, please feel free! 😀👍🏻

[colesterstrudel]

Late Nights/Early Mornings

Michael Cole/Reader: The new coffee shop owner takes issue with the noise coming from your club down the street. But that’s not all he has an issue with. Fluff bc idk how to write anything else anymore lmao

Tagging @paintedneverland @merchfreak  @ilovesamizayn 

One of the hardest things about owning and running your own club was that the musical acts you often got to play for you never knew when to leave. More often than not, you would have to usher them out in the wee hours of the morning, wanting nothing more than to go home and get some rest yourself. 

Today was no different. The club had officially closed hours ago, and usually you would still be in the office doing paperwork and getting things ready for the night to come. Instead, you were attempting to get the band you’d hired for the night to finally leave the drum set alone. You were sure you could only take so many more random drum fills before your head exploded, but none of them seemed to be fazed by it. 

“Let us know if you ever want us back!” the singer yelled over his shoulder as they finally walked out and down the street together. 

You didn’t reply, just waved them off before turning back into the club to grab your bag and locking the door. When you stepped outside, yanking at the door to ensure it was secure, you turned to see a stranger standing at the door to the coffee shop next door, eyes focused on the band that was still slowly making their way down the street. 

“Do you know how late it is?” He asked, voice cool as his eyes still settled on the rowdy musicians. “You should probably learn to control your employees instead of letting them wake the whole street up so late,” he continued, turning to look at you. 

“Sorry, grandpa.” You knew it was late - or rather early - but sarcasm dripped from your voice as your eyes studied the older man. He was impeccably dressed, his salt and pepper hair cropped short. His button up shirt was tucked into nice slacks, a patterned tie around his neck. Vaguely, you remembered the coffee shop you frequented on early mornings like this one was sold to a new owner and had been closed for a week in order for the change to occur. You had to be looking at the new owner. 

“Grandpa? Just how old do you think I am?” Now he sounded indignant, and you couldn’t help the smirk on your face as you finally stepped away from the door to your club and walked closer to the coffee shop - and the new owner. 

“Old enough to complain about a little bit of noise.” You rolled your eyes at him, nodding to the coffee shop. “You open this morning? I need some caffeine so I can keep on causing a ruckus, annoying all the elders in the community.”

“The shop’s closed,” he answered quickly, turning on his heel and opening the door. 

“That’s fine. I’ll just wait out here til you’re open!” 

He paused mid-step, sighing. “Come on,” he grumbled, holding the door open and allowing you to walk inside in front of him.

“The old owner knew my order by heart. It’s okay if you can’t quite do the same, though. I know you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” The smile on your face was sickly sweet as the owner glared at you from behind the counter. He wasn’t even that old, you knew that much just from speaking to him, but you couldn’t stop yourself from poking the proverbial bear. It didn’t help that he caught you on a bad morning, when your headache was already forming and you wished you had been in bed hours before. 

Still, something about the cold glare in his grey eyes was both entertaining and intriguing, and as he made your coffee, you couldn’t help but think about how they’d look if they were warmer, coupled with a smile rather than the grimace he was directing at you. 

---

You managed to avoid running into the new owner of the coffee shop for the next few days, the club closing on time allowing you to make it home long before the coffee shop’s doors ever opened. 

Now, though, paperwork had taken hours to do once the last customer finally left and you were finally locking the door at 5:45. You stifled a yawn as you yanked the door, ensuring it was secure, before your eyes focused on the lit up windows of the coffee shop. The allure of coffee drew you in, even if you weren’t necessarily looking forward to an interaction with the shop’s grumpy new owner. 

Even still, a small smile came to your face as you walked towards the door as you recalled just how grumpy you made him. Maybe a cup of coffee and a bit of verbal sparring would be enough to keep you awake long enough to make it home safely. 

Before you’d even consciously made the decision to, you were opening the door to the coffee shop. It was empty, quiet, but you still saw the owner bustling around behind the counter. He was impeccably dressed yet again, but the sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up to his elbows and he had an apron around his waist. 

Any question you had about what he was doing behind the counter when he had no customers was answered when he turned to face you as you stepped in front of the cash register. He held a cup in his hand, pushing it across the counter towards you. 

“Caramel dirty chai,” he said, fighting back a smile at the surprised look on your face. “I guess this old dog can learn a few new tricks.”

Your eyes narrowed just slightly as you took in the scene before you, your hands already digging into your wallet for your debit card. As he took it from your hand, you noticed the name tag on his shirt.

“Aren’t you a little overdressed to be slinging coffee beverages all day, Michael?” You asked, taking your card and drink from him. 

“What would you prefer I wear? Skinny jeans?” His eyes raked down your body, taking in your ripped skinny jeans before meeting your eyes again. 

“Please, grandpa, as if you even know where to buy skinny jeans. Or any jeans, for that matter.” And then you turned to leave, ignoring Michael’s quiet laugh behind you. 

---

Two days later and you knew you were going to run into Michael long before it ever happened. The band you’d contacted to perform tonight had come highly requested, but just as loud and hard to control after hours as the one the day you met Michael. They finally left the club at 6 in the morning, stumbling down the road, and you took a moment to sit at the bar and take a deep breath. 

You were exhausted, to put it simply, and you didn’t think you had it in you to spar with Michael, not today. But you knew he’d be grumpy about the noise and you needed coffee if you didn’t want to slump over on the sidewalk and fall asleep on your way home. Taking another deep breath, you grabbed your things and stepped out into the early morning. 

You’d barely taken a step away from the door, too preoccupied with putting your keys in your bag to notice there was a man standing right in front of you until you ran into him. His hands reached out to grab your arms and hold you steady, keeping you from falling, and you clutched onto his arms before finally looking up at him. 

Michael was here, of course, and beneath the concern in his eyes at your stumble was thinly veiled annoyance.

“I know, I know,” you grumbled, tearing your eyes away from his and taking a step back. “It was loud and annoying and don’t I have respect for anyone else on the street?” Your voice was mocking, even through the sigh you let out as you scrubbed your face with your hands. “Please, can we save the lecture for later? I just really need some coffee.”

Michael didn’t say anything, just listened as you rambled. With a small smile, he held his arm out to gesture you forward, resting his other hand on the small of your back as you walked with him towards his coffee shop. 

“Are you sure you’ll be able to make it home okay?” Michael asked, all earlier signs of annoyance at the loud music coming from your club gone as he left you propped up again the customer side of the counter to go around and make your drink. 

“I’ll be fine,” you assured him through a yawn, waving him off. “I just need some caffeine.”

You let your eyes droop as you waited for your coffee, and before you knew it you were being ushered towards the table closest to the counter. Trying to shrug Michael off and ensuring him that you were fine was a waste of your time and energy as he refused to let you go until you were safely in your seat. 

“You were asleep on your feet,” he told you, voice low as if to let you rest. “At least sit here for a while and drink your coffee before you head home.” 

“Whatever you say, gramps,” you muttered through yet another yawn, bringing the coffee cup he placed in front of you to your lips. He laughed, shaking his head before walking back behind the counter again. 

As he worked, your eyes were focused solely on him. He was dressed almost too well yet again, but you thought it suited him. Despite the jokes about his wardrobe, it was hard for you to picture him in anything else. You watched, distracted, as the muscles in his arms flexed when he wiped the counter down. Vaguely, your brain registered the music playing softly over the speakers before your head hit your arms crossed on the table and you were fast asleep. 

---

“Your coffee’s cold,” came a teasing voice from above you coupled with a fresh cup of coffee being placed in front of you. 

With a groan, you sat up, wincing at the crick in your neck. “How long was I out?” Your eyes were bleary and you knew you could fall back asleep in just a moment, but the coffee had your full attention. 

“Just an hour,” Michael assured you, sitting down across from you. “I thought it’d be best if I let you rest here so I wouldn’t find you laid out on the sidewalk later.”

“Oh, I bet that was great for your business. A person half dead on the table, what a conversation starter.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, it’s been a slow morning.”

“Well, thanks for the coffee and the nap,” you smiled, standing up and grabbing your coffee from the table. “But I really should get home.”

“See you tomorrow?” Michael asked, standing up as well to move back behind the counter.

“Tomorrow,” you nodded, heading out the door.

---

Over the next few weeks, you and Michael settled into a nice routine. Now, when it was a little too loud over at the club in the wee hours of the morning, Michael would try his hardest to maintain his disappointed glare, and your grumbled “whatever, grandpa” as you snatched the coffee cup from his hand turned his glare to a warm smile. You liked it, you admitted to yourself, liked the fact that he was so warm and inviting. The anger and annoyance you felt towards him at first was melting just as fast as his own was towards you, and you were glad for it. 

He had taken to showing up to the coffee shop earlier than usual, making sure he was open when you were heading home. And on days when you were at the club late, he’d bring your coffee to you. Of course, that never stopped you from stopping into the shop later when you were on your way home for another cup of coffee and just a moment of reprieve in his company. 

It was working out great for you, this friendship with Michael. And despite its rocky beginnings, it was really flourishing. Already, you were too used to his presence in your life everyday, the warmth in his eyes when he handed you a cup of coffee or saw you off on your way home to think about your life being any other way. 

And though you didn’t think of yourself as the pessimistic type, waiting for the other shoe to drop, you weren’t altogether surprised when things suddenly went south. 

It happened out of nowhere. You were standing outside the club, talking to an old friend who had come by to play that night. Elias was talking animatedly with his hands, his guitar case slowing him down only slightly. He told you all about his upcoming tour, how he would be gone for six months. You wrapped him up in a hug, telling him how proud of him you were. He had been your best friend for years, always trying to make it in the music industry, and it seemed like he was finally living his dream. 

But over his shoulder, you saw the coffee shop’s  lights go out, the sign flip to closed, and you were distracted as Elias finally walked away. You wanted to go check on Michael, see if everything was okay but there was a voice telling you not to, that it’d be more trouble than you could deal with right now, so you left. 

And when Michael’s face haunted your dreams that morning as you slept, you managed to push it aside. At least for now.

---

All those weeks of camaraderie, of spending as much time as you could with Michael in the mornings before you had to go home and get some rest, all of them ended up meaning, apparently,�� nothing. Or as close to nothing as they could get. 

You knew Michael was in the coffee shop, despite the sign always being flipped to ‘closed’ on your way home in the mornings. He never came down to the club, either, instead ensuring that the distance he created between the two of you was upheld. 

After weeks of the silent treatment, of pretending that you didn’t miss seeing Michael everyday, making fun of him for his always meticulously coordinated suits, you put a plan into motion. You had a record of every musical act that performed for you, and if you thought about them hard enough, you could remember which of them were truly raucous, which ones could bring Michael out of the hiding he’d sentenced himself to. So you set about making calls, filling the club’s schedule up with the rowdiest musicians you had ever hired. 

It only took five days to get his attention. 

You invited the band from the first day you met him to come back, preparing yourself for the headache that was sure to come from their presence. Even still, a headache was a small price to pay if it got Michael to speak to you again. You missed him, which was strange enough for you in its own right, but you wouldn’t be the one to bridge the gap. If he wanted to act like a child, well, you knew how to play that game. 

The night had wound down, the band still on stage, drunk and loud with their instruments. As a drum fill filled the air followed by feedback on the speakers, you held back a groan. But when someone pounded on the door, the grimace on your face turned to a grin. 

“Do you know how late it is?” His words were out before you’d even opened the door fully, his eyes cold as he glared at you. 

“I don’t know, grandpa, but I’m sure you could tell me.” This was the most annoyed you’d ever seen him, and you couldn’t hide the smile on your face. He had played right into your hands. 

“Could you just once be mindful of the way your actions affect others?”

“Oooohhh, like you’ve been these past few weeks?” The words were biting, despite the cheeky smile on your face as you locked eyes with Michael, tilting your head to the side just slightly.

The silence stretched between the two of you for longer than you were technically comfortable with, when there was a crash from inside the club. With a sigh, you turned your back on Michael and walked inside, finding two of the members on the ground, laughing as a third attempted to pull them up. “Alright, guys, I think it’s time for you to head home.”

They filed out, thanking you for bringing them back and letting you know their schedule was clear if you needed them again, and then it was silent inside and you were alone. You were sure Michael had made his way back to the coffee shop, content with pretending you were never friends, like you were just some annoying stranger down the street. 

With a sigh, you grabbed your things and headed for the door, ready to go home. What you didn’t expect was to see Michael, once again standing outside your door, this time with a coffee in hand. 

“I think we should talk,” is all he said, reaching out to hand you the cup. 

Silently, you grabbed the coffee from him and ushered him to follow you back inside the club. You made a beeline for the bar, setting your stuff down and slouching onto a stool. 

“Well?” You said, finally, after the silence had stretched on between the two of you. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Michael standing near the door, hands in the pockets of his slacks. 

“I saw you with your boyfriend a few weeks back,” he said suddenly, eyes roaming the club but refusing to look at you. “And I - well, it doesn’t matter.”

“My boyfriend?” You laughed, shaking your head at him. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Michael’s eyes darted toward your own for just a moment before moving away again. “Oh.”

“Is that what this was all about? You shut me out because you thought I had a boyfriend?” You were off the stool before you could think twice about it, walking over to him, forcing him to meet your gaze. “Why?”

Michael closed his eyes, his head falling back slightly as he sighed. “I think you know why. Not that it matters, it’s inappropriate. I’m much too old for you.”

“Yeah, okay, grandpa. You’re acting like you’re in your 80’s, like you’re about to be put in a nursing home,” you rolled your eyes at his dramatics, stepping even closer to him. “And you’re so incredibly dense.”

And then your hand fisted in his tie, pulling him closer so you could press your lips to his. His hands were out of his pockets in a flash, settling on your hips and pulling you closer to him. 

When he finally pulled back moments later, his eyes were closed and his breathing was slightly labored. “Come on, I’ll let you make me another coffee and you can tell me all about how enamored you are with me.”

“As if the free coffee doesn’t tell you enough?” He quirked an eyebrow at you, waiting as you gathered your things and the two of you walked out of the club. 

“I mean, it’s a start.”

[itsclownhours]

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

.

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

.

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

.

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

.

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

.

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

.

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

.

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

.

gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

.

morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

.

leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

.

morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

.

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

.

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude��

.

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

.

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

.

morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

.

merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

.

morgause: customer (derogatory)

.

arthur: business major (derogatory)

.

leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

.

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

.

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

.

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

.

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

.

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

.

mithian: fruit (affectionate)

.

arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

.

gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

.

morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

.

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

.

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

.

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

.

percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

.

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

.

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

.

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

.

kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

.

morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

.

gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

.

merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

.

arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

.

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

.

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

.

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

.

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

.

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

.

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

.

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

.

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

.

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

.

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

.

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

.

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

.

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

.

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

.

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

.

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

.

gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

.

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

.

arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

.

merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

.

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

.

merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

.

gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

.

morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

.

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

.

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

.

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

.

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

.

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

.

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

.

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

.

merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

.

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

.

website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

.

gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

.

morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

.

morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

.

gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

.

morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

.

morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

.

merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

.

arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

.

gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

.

morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

.

morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

.

gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

.

morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

.

gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

.

morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

.

morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

.

arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

.

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

.

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

.

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

.

morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

.

mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

.

morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

.

mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

.

morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

.

morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

.

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

.

morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

.

morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

.

season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

.

morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

.

arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

.

morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

.

mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

.

mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

.

morgana: i deserve to be kissed

.

morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

.

mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

.

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

.

morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

.

morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

.

morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

.

merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

.

morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

.

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

.

gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

.

morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

.

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

.

merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

.

cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

.

morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

.

gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

.

morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

.

morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

.

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

.

morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

.

morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

.

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

.

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

.

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

.

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

.

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

.

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

.

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

.

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

.

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

.

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

.

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

.

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

.

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

.

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

.

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

.

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

.

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

.

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

.

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

.

morgana: i have no self of steam

.

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

.

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

.

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

.

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

.

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

.

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

.

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

.

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

.

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

.

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

.

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

.

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

.

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

.

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

.

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

.

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

.

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

.

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

.

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

.

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

.

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

.

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

.

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

.

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

.

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

.

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

.

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

.

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

.

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

.

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

.

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

.

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

.

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

.

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

.

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

.

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

.

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

.

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

.

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

.

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

.

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

.

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

.

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

.

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

.

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

.

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

.

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

.

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

.

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

.

gwaine: turn down for whom?

.

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

.

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

.

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

.

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

.

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

.

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

.

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

.

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

.

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

.

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

.

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

.

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

.

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

.

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

.

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

.

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

OR

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

.

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

.

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

.

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

.

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

.

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

.

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

.

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

.

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

.

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

.

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

.

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

.

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

.

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

.

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

.

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

.

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

.

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

.

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

.

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

.

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

.

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

.

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

.

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

.

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

.

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

.

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

.

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

.

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

.

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

.

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

.

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

.

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

.

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

.

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

.

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

.

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

[kewltie]

a ‘what’s wrong with secretary kim?’ au where katsuki is the arrogant and tyrannical heir to a conglomerate and izuku is his capable and excellent secretary who is single handedly holding back his employees from starting an uprising and killing katsuki bc he’s a goddamn perfectionist bastard but now Izuku suddenly wants to quit and KATSUKI IS NOT HAVING IT :P.  

on the anniversary of izuku’s 10th year with the company, AND TEN YEAR WORKING AS KATSUKI’S SECRETARY, there’s a big wide company celebration for it despite the fact that there are ppl who had worked there longer and in more powerful position than a mere secretary to the president, but izuku is like THE IDOL of the entire company and there’s a HUGE reason for that :P. 

katsuki’s own this large business empire that date back to taisho period but it is mitsuki who truly shapes it to this powerful entity it is today. katsuki is the heir to this vast empire and he lives his life knowing what he has to do and how far he’ll have to go to reach it so he places an enormous amount expectation on himself just to live up to everyone view of him bc his mother is just so badass. this make him incredibly hard to work WITH and UNDER bc he’s set the bar so high and expect you not to leap but like skyrocket all the way to the fucking moon or something. he drives most of his employees insane with his perfectionism and micromanagement and like most president try to have some semblance of professional and distance b/t employer/emplyee status quo but katsuki breaks every rule by cursing daily and being a pain in their ass as he visits their floor to harassed them to get their work done in time. he’s very hands on and take no bullshit so if he doesn’t like something YOU WILL HEAR ALL ABOUT IT. this make the work enviroment extremely stressful and hectic for the employees but the one saving grace is THE AMAZING EMPLOYEE PACKAGE and IZUKU. 

so even though katsuki make it HARD to work under/with him, his company (surprisingly) tops the list of best place to work at every single year bc of how their great employees benefit. there’s 40% discount on all their products for their employees, they get paid leave for a week at every quarter, mandatory paid vacation time that last 2-3 weeks, great maternity benefits, amazing childcare service at the company which provide 24/7 childcare bc the company never sleep, employment/raised/and rise in rank is based on a merit system so the population pretty evenly 50/50 male & female, the paid is extremely good, they have zero tolerance for sexual harassment, great healthcare coverage and even have psychiatric department for burnout/stress/etc, and their cafeteria food is sooooo good that most fine dinning. so even though it is highly competitive and stressful place that place exceedingly high expectation and workload on their employees, they have very low turnover rate.  

that number can also be contributed to izuku bc izuku is the reason most of them don’t like murder katsuki out of rage and fear lol. izuku is beyond good at his job. he manages katsuki’s business and HIS LIFE and he does it with a friendly smile and a cheer. when katsuki order his employees to get this done in like today even though the workload is insane, izuku would bring them food and drinks, come into their office to check up on them, provide them keynotes on their project, run over their project with them, etc doing everything he can to assist them to get their work complete. he’s just so terrifyingly good at his job that everyone kinda joke how it would take a hundred people just to replace izuku bc izuku is pretty much the heart and soul of their company. katsuki may rule the company and dictate the direction of where they’ll go but izuku keeps everything running smoothly and get them there in time and in orderly fashion. 

and it’s not just that he’s good at his job but izuku is the buffer b/t them and katsuki bc he’s is one of the few that can stand toe to toe with katsuki and  LIVE. despite izuku always super friendly with everyone, he and katsuki often clash on how they see things and katsuki’s behavior which end in screaming matches sometimes lol. izuku is the peacekeeper and the negotiator between katsuki and JUST ABOUT EVERYONE. they know that rarely can they win katsuki over if they also don’t have izuku on their side too. EVEN HIS BUSINESS PARTNERS KNOW THAT bc everybody think this but nobody is willing to say it but izuku is prob the 2nd most powerful person in the entire company bc he got the ears of the president and though katsuki doesn’t hesitate to lash out at izuku, he always listen to what izuku got to say even as he reject them later lmao. he’s just really good with dealing with katsuki so many ppl defer to him whenever they have to report to katsuki bc izuku would keep him from like killing them when they don’t meet his crazy as fuck deadline/requirement/expectations. 

SO YEA when izuku’s 10th year anniversary come along everybody is excited to celebrate izuku’s milestone and the next decade onward bc izuku is a stable in the company and everyone expect him to be around years and years bc any other thought would be UNTHINKABLE. katsuki even generously offer to fulfill any of izuku’s wish since it’s also their 10th year anniversary of izuku becoming his secretary, WHICH is hilarious and sad but it’s the longer either of them ever had with anyone. but on the night just as katsuki is ready make izuku’s wish come true like a new condo, a new car, etc which are all ridiculous presents bc izuku already got an apartment and A FUNCTIONAL CAR but rich ass ppl don’t really know moderation bc on izuku’s 30th birthday katsuki bought an island under izuku’s name JUST BC HE CAN and also, “so you can run away to it whenever i piss you off,” and izuku didn’t talk to katsuki for an entire day LMAO. anyway so YES izuku’s 10th year wish which katsuki assume would be something boring and entirely TOO feasible like new book collections by his fav writer but NOPE. it’s... “I want to quit, sir,” and katsuki is so shocked by izuku’s sudden request that he lit have a meltdown at izuku’s 10th year party which is at the roof of their company building with thousands of ppl. he stopped  kicked everyone OUT just so he can properly yell at izuku bc WTFFFFFFFFF. 

the thing is despite the amount of them katsuki had fire izuku (which is number in the hundreds by now), izuku had never left the job. he is just as dedicate to the company as katsuki and not once ever complaint about his work. complain about katsuki’s tyrannical demands YES but never the company or the people he work with bc HE LOVES IT. so this??? IS SO OUT OF THE LEFT FIELD THAT KATSUKI freaks out!!!!!! izuku has been with katsuki for soooooooooo long that katsuki took izuku’s constant presence as forever bc who else gets him the way izuku does?? it took him years to trained izuku to his expectation it’s going to take ages for him to train another person to replace izuku and just thinking about it MAKE HIM SO ANGRY BC DOES IZUKU KNOW HOW MUCH KATSUKI INVESTED IN IZUKU AND NOW HE’S JUST GOING TO WALK AWAY FROM IT ALL FOR NOTHING????

except izuku does have a reason and it’s his happiness. for ten years izuku dedicate his life to the company and katsuki. he does everything for them even putting his love life secondary and now that’s he’s into his 30s he realize how much life has passed him by. izuku wants to get fall in love and get marry. he wants to find his own happiness outside the company and katsuki and KATSUKI IS SO FUCKING CONFUSED AND LIVID. apparently, izuku was having his annual psych evals and talk with their psychologist and it made him reaize what he has been missing and he’d finally reach that point where he decided instead of putting others before him like he’d always did now it’s his turn to put himself first so yes HE’S QUITTING.

so katsuki storm onto the psych floor to yell at the company psychologist that they got on retainers for the employees (to deal with stress/ family issues/mental health etc but also mainly as a place to vent about work and HOW MUCH THEY WANT TO PUNCH KATSUKI IN THE THROAT) and demand to know what the fuck SHE HAD IZUKU INTO bc izuku would never thought to leave him if she didn’t put all that stupid nonsense in his head. she simply raises a brow and calmly ask katsuki to sit down to talk it over instead of yelling at her. 

as soon as katsuki sits down she tells him, “it’s doctor-patient confidentiality, so i can not discuss what passed between me and midoriya-san,” and katsuki is one second from flipping her coffee table over but she continues unfazed, “but as he had explained to you, mirdoriya-san have always put others before him and rarely think of his own future but now he’s determine o chase his own happiness.” 

and katsuki just shouts, “BUT I AM HIS HAPPINESS!!” 

he stops. she looks at him evenly. he stares at her in horror. she smiles. and he knows he’d fallen into her trap because FUCK. 

katsuki had been in love twice in his life and they were longstanding relationships but they never pass 3 years bc of work. OR SO HE THINKS. his work always come first and he goes into his relationship letting his partner know how important his work is to him and that they may be second place but that’s just the way it is. only two of the people he met and fell for accepted that part of him and when they do break up it’s bc katsuki didn’t put them first which katsuki is like??? BUT I TOLD YOU THAT ALREADY but at that time he didn’t get it. now with startlingly clarity, he realizes what they meant that they were okay with coming second to work but not coming second to IZUKU. katsuki had canceled dates and anniversaries bc of overseas meetings and last mins work but izuku is the only one he literally ditched a very important business meeting all the way in paris and flew back to japan bc he heard izuku got into an accident even though izuku insisted he was okay AND THAT HE ONLY GOT A CONCUSSION GEEZ KACCHAN PLS GO BACK. katsuki live his entire life w/o restrained but izuku is the one to make him willing to compromise and meet ppl in the middle. he never felt the lacking in wealth, respect, talent, and love bc he got it all. wealth from his family’s fortune, respect from the people around, talent from himself, and then love is from izuku. 

their relation actualy gooooooooooo waaaaaaaaaay back. even before izuku started to work as katsuki’s secretary. few know of this but izuku’s mother work as housekeeper for katsuki’s family and izuku grew up alongside katsuki as his playmate. from the time katsuki was in diapers izuku was with him every step. izuku attended same elementary school, jr. high, high school, and even same college with katsuki. they literally been together all their life. everyone always assume that izuku only make it through such prestioug school bc of his connection with katsuki and that is sort of true bc mitsuki paid it all for izuku to attend bc she adores inko & izuku but that just mean izuku have to endure all the hate and jealousy thrown his way. he was burden by the fact that he was close to katsuki and that ppl think he’s a leech so izuku work extremely hard to be able to stand beside katsuki, to prove to everyone that he isn’t useless and that he can help katsuki. even when they got to same elite college, izuku refused mitsuki offer to pay his way in but did his best to win a scholarship just so he can be at the same school as katsuki bc for all katsuki’s mercurial temper, katsuki never rely on his talent to get him there but he pushed himself there. he admires katsuki deeply and wishes to stand on even ground with him so that one day he can help katsuki as he rises to the top. that���s his only dream. EXCEPT izuku never got to fulfill it bc in the middle of izuku second year, he suddenly dropped out bc his mom fell sick and inko & izuku who had always rely on the generosity of katsuki’s family decide the family had done enough for them so izuku left school midway to take care of his mother, disappearing from katsuki’s life completely. 

katsuki literally went on a bender and his grades that semester suffered for it. in the end he pulled himself back together with the help of really great friends and katsuki swore he’ll never let anyone effect him like that again. his work & goals come first, everything else is secondary. that’s what he tell himself anyway but izuku always been the exception to every rule he’d made for himself. 

it won’t be years until they meet again, when katsuki start as an executive position in the company and izuku comes to him as a new hire, looking to work right under katsuki. katsuki put IZUKU THROUGH THE RINGER AND PUSHED HIM MORE THAN ANY OTHER that everyone is convinced katsuki got it out for izuku but just smile and prevailed every obstacle that katsuki throw at him bc even more the stress of the workload, more than hours he spent up late at night getting it done, more than his own peace of mind, izuku want to work with katsuki again. WANTS TO BE WITH HIM so he keep on trying, keep on pushing himself to get it done. and he did. he does. 

katsuki ofc found out why izuku disappear but he never ask why izuku chose to come back to him bc in the end the answer has always been in izuku’s smile. he had chased katsuki from their childhood and all the way into their college years and even though he was gone for several years, now he was back to chased after katsuki again. to choose out of all the company he can work for, HE PICKED THIS ONE, it said all he need to say. their life have been bound to each other from the start so yea katsuki never realize he’s in love with izuku bc there’s no aha moment, no light bulb moment bc izuku have always been there chasing after him and katsuki can always look over his shoulder and find izuku right there as sure as gravity bc how can he fall in love when he’s been standing on solid ground the entire time and izuku is the foundation of his everything. 

now that he realize he’s going to lose izuku, the floor beneath him starts to crack and he realizes it’s his turn to give chase. HE DOES THE ONLY THING HE KNOWS HOW: propose to izuku LMAO. look, now that katsuki realizes that he has been in love with izuku all along so why the fuck should they date bc they’re practically been married for ten years on the job and have been running this fucking company together with their millions of kids. he can’t imagine running this company without izuku’s constant presence at his side dispensing advice and carrying out his orders to the absolute best of his ability. LIKE, everyone joke how izuku is katsuki’s wrangler but no izuku nickname in the company is the guillotine bc izuku is katsuki’s sword. when katsuki tell izuku to do something, he get SHIT DONE no matter what and izuku is sweet on everyone but the moment someone do something to mess with katsuki, izuku is a force to be reckon with. so yea these two alone themselves are terrifying but together they’re MONSTERS and they wont stop till they take you for everything. 

so how can izuku wants to break that partnership up bc they’re sooo amazing together?? esp when katsuki can make izuku a hundred times more happy than anyone else. AND THEY DON’T NEED TO DATE WITH SO MUCH HISTORY B/T THEM. katsuki just want to get marry already bc he never half ass anything and marriage is most acceptable step for them even though it’s just a formality at this point bc he’s practically married to izuku already if not in reality but in their heart. 

they literally broke all the rules/boundaries of employer/employee relationship bc they have keys to each other home, more than one time katsuki’s SO mention dating katsuki is like dating katsuki and IZUKU bc of how much izuku is involve not just his business but his life as well, and they’re so bound to each other that izuku (who actually dated a lot but they’re short live fling bc they can’t handle his job and him always prioritizing katsuki first) and katsuki never have a relationship last longer than their three decades with each other. they’re practically it for each other. now katsuki just need izuku to see it. 

so yea he propose bc that’s just make sense (lmao). and izuku is like :||| NO THANKS bc izuku just assume it’s just another delayed tactic bc katsuki THAT DUMBASS is like ‘”if you quit the morale of this company will go down to a point where im sure they will revolt soon enough so marry me before that happen”. he wanted to say, “ME AND THIS COMPANY WOULD BURN TO THE GROUND W/O YOU THERE SO PLS MARRY US” but it sound like it’s all for the company and izuku is tired SO TIRED of doing everything just for the company and katsuki. he just want to do something for himself for once but katsuki wont let up and convinced izuku to go along with engagement for like 3 months bc if izuku is looking for love & Happy ENDING than katsuki will give it to him. who else can give him all that if not katsuki??? 

izuku is JUST SO TIRED but he decided to humor katsuki so katsuki can get off his back and let him leave. he never expected that katsuki make such concerted effort to woo him for real lol. 

ofc their engagement causes a huge uproar among the employees which were already having a meltdown earlier bc they had heard about izuku wanting to quit and the number of people heading toward the psychiatrist floor was more than the last three years COMBINED bc the thought of losing the lone person who can keep katsuki from verbally murdering them all is panic inducing. 

their engagement doesn’t really change anything in the status of their work relationship. katsuki continues to yell at people and izuku continues to play buffer but occasionally katsuki will slides his hand across Izuku’s own and they just touch fleetingly but it burns enough that izuku can’t stop thinking about it all day. it’s like suddenly every nerve cells in izuku’s body is awake and alive and they’re just realizing how much KATSUKI BOTHERS HIM. WHICH IS A LOT. like izuku already spent so much time with katsuki so he never notice it before but now everything feels purposeful and intimate in a way like a veil is removed over his head. it’s always been there but he just never see it before bc sometimes it’s hard to know what you’re looking for when you’re LITERALLY STARING RIGHT AT IT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. 

the slow seduction of izuku is HILARIOUS AND TROUBLING BC THEY DONT DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT YET EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT WHICH MADE IZUKU REALIZE ALL ALONG THEY ARE WORST THAN MARRIED BUT LIKE SOULMATES LOL. katsuki bringing izuku as his plus one to events is the same as when he brought izuku there as his secretary; izuku eating dinner with katsuki’s family as his fiance is like how he did like A COUPLE WEEKS AGO; izuku and katsuki spending time together doing work, doing grocery shopping (bc that’s a thing you apparenlty do with your secretary???), doing movies, etc is all NORMAL AND THE SAME but now there’s an undercurrent of something else, something bigger than izuku is afraid to name. 

but izuku still think katsuki only keep this charade bc katsuki need izuku here so he would do anything to izuku. but actually katsuki doesn’t actually need izuku. he can MANAGE WITHOUT HIM. it won’t be easy but he can do it. he’s bakugou katsuki after all but... he doesn’t want to. he may not need izuku and there may be other options out there but he will always chooses izuku in the end. it’s just the way it is. 

i just imagine a lot of drama IN DUE PART TO BEING ASIAN DRAMAS and misunderstanding before their 3 months is up and izuku realizing what exactly katsuki meant AND THEY’RE TOGETHER TOGETHER but they’re getting there :P. Slowly but yea!!

[promiscuous-jalapeno]

Forgive Me

[Jumin Han] [Jihyun Kim/V] [Saeran Choi] 

{Angst}

Word Count: 1,932 

ANON: Jumin and how he handles the loss of Jihyun imagine please! I wish Cheritz would have touched more on this. If you could include a Saeran and Jumin interaction in it that would also be great bc u know :) thank u so much daddio

A/N-I don’t normally title my one-shots but I did for this one. I had a tough time writing this piece. I put a lot into it and I hope that I conveyed the emotion over well enough. I feel this is, like the anon said, a subject that is not touched upon enough. I hope you enjoy reading it, and the emotion rings true~

     Jumin had decided in that moment that there were few things in this life more eerie than being in someones home after they’ve passed away. He’d never been one to reminisce or stew in sentimentality, even at the news of someone’s death. What was done is done, and only fools could find the time to waste thinking of what could have been or what once was. But for all of his efforts to repress those feelings that threatened to surface, the casual ways in which he waved off sympathetic looks and condolences from employees, the ability to sleep had escaped him entirely.

      In the early hours of the morning he found himself looking out over the city, wondering what it would be like to be any one of them out there, anyone but Jumin Han. But the worst part of it all was not the sadness, but the anger and hatred he held towards his best friend. The confusion, the bitterness and resentment for dying as he did and the feeling of being utterly alone, not even bothering to struggle against those tangled strings that wrapped around his neck and confined him.

     It was as if someone else inhabited his mind. He was watching from somewhere else, wondering who was pulling the strings of this depressing puppet show, this wasn’t him. This wasn’t his voice or his hands. And that evening, instead of going home this stranger was instructing driver Kim to make turns to that place he once swore he wouldn’t visit. These weren’t his feet, taking slow measure steps into the living room. And yet, there he stood, in the dim light of Jihyun’s apartment with the icy grip of regret squeezing his chest so tightly he thought he’d forget how to breathe. Yes, there were few things more eerie than this.

     He didn’t know how much time had passed until he finally found it in himself to turn on the lights and walk around. It was smaller and held a kind of warmth and comfort, so different from his penthouse. We truly were polar opposites until the end, he thought, thumbing through the bookshelf full of sheet music and poetry, famous photography compilations, art and humanities volumes so thick he couldn’t possibly imagine the contents. All these things. His family would arrive soon to decide what would become of the apartment and all of the things it held. Everything he saw felt like a piece of Jihyun, and in a way, he imagined this last look into the heart and mind of the man he’d known almost all his life as a final farewell to his dearest friend.

     The closet held several boxes of personal items. Yellowing and brittle music sheets, most likely ones he’d played with his parents as a child. A box of envelopes he almost tossed aside before he recognized his own name. With hands slightly shaking he got to his knees under the soft light above him and began to sift through them all.

     “Always the sentimental fool,” Jumin spoke. He was glad he was alone, his voice came out quite tremulous. He had forgotten all about them, and how after one night drinking at the penthouse, Jihyun had inquired about the notes he had written and wondered if he might keep them for himself, ‘for old times sake.’

‘Jumin, what is it like to get along so well with your father? I often wonder if that could happen for me someday…”

“…I think your photographs show true potential. It would be a waste of talent to pursue anything else, and I’d encourage you to continue despite what your parents say. I’m sorry it’s been so difficult for you lately…”

     He set the box aside, unable to bring himself to read another word. He felt this thunderous force erupting inside of himself. It whirled in his head and his skin grew hot, threatening to release itself any way it could. Jumin bent forward where he sat on the floor, one palm pressed so firmly to the ground it was as if he meant to push the earth away from himself. The free hand explored his face, mouth gaping slightly at the wet feeling on his cheeks. He had let himself go for a moment. Let his throaty sobs echo in the empty room. And then, as quickly as it had come on, he relaxed his shoulders with a sigh and sat up straight. Desperate to re-jar those bits of himself that spilled and scattered, he scrambled through more boxes until he found something else that could occupy his mind.

     Lots of photographs, Jumin was surprised to see some even featuring himself at various ages. His hair had been a bit shorter then, a boyish smile plastered on his face. It was strange to view himself like that. Some of the photos were more recent. Pieces he most likely felt weren’t worthy to be added to collections, and then, a familiar vineyard. Jumin held it in his hands, lost in the vibrant, trim rows of vines lining the vast rolling hills and the memory of that day. This picture was taken one of the last times he had seen Jihyun.

     He could feel his friend slipping away, but what occupied his mind the most were meetings and documents, business deals and trips. Until a meeting was cancelled, and they found themselves across the table from one another, sharing a bottle of exquisite Malbec while looking over the rolling hills kissed by golden sunlight. He always found vineyards to be very pleasing to the eyes. The way the rows lined the earth, like the stripes on a fine pressed suit, he loved that.

     “To be honest, I’m beginning to worry about her,” Jihyun set his glass down lightly on the hard wood table.

     “And your reasoning?” Jumin stopped eating, noticing the inflection and weight the conversation was gathering.

     “Small things,” he sunk into his chair, dragging his eyes across the horizon in an attempt to avoid the details. “I’m probably worrying too much. I want to support her, but…”

     He looked as if he wanted to say more, a flash of hesitancy and fear in his eyes before he lips pulled back into the familiar small smile. He looked so vacant…so distant. It was a lonely sort of sadness he usually felt in himself as he continued to stare in silence. An expression that would never leave his mind after that day. Jumin had wanted to press further. She had been saying some strange things recently, now that he thought about it. When she spoke, it was as if there were hints of another person inside of her. Something deep down in the shadows of her heart began surfacing in small moments. Instead, he listened to that voice in his head telling him that it was between them. They were in a relationship, and Jumin wanted to respect that. If Jihyun decided to speak, he would listen. But it didn’t feel right to force him for personal details.

     Jumin sat watching his friend, who sat watching the fields. Nothing but a few gentle breezes passed between the two. It carried the scent of dirt and trees, the rich aromas of the wine in front of him enticed him to take another large sip.

     “Rika has always been a person of strong will and conviction. She loves you. I’m sure in time, if help is needed she will make it known,” he broke the silence at last.

     Jihyun turned to him, nodding with a smile, the direct sunlight splashing across his face. “You’re probably right,” he looked up to the sky. “Say, the lighting is near perfect. Would it be alright for me to shoot for a while out there?”

     “I’d have to pinch you to be sure you were really Jihyun Kim if you didn’t ask,” Jumin smirked. “Follow me.”

     The two walked the grounds in silence for some time as the sun slowly began to tuck itself behind the hills. Jumin enjoyed seeing Jihyun so focused, watched as he framed the shots and adjusted the settings on his camera as they walked the rows.

     “What’s that up there?” Jihyun’s feet halted and he pointed to a post with a wooden box attached.

     “That’s an owl box,” Jumin said matter of factly, “a natural defense against the rodents that like to dig and gnaw the roots of the vines.”

     “Ah, I see. Still smart as ever,” Jihyun quipped.

     “I have to be to run the business. And besides, I could say the same for you,” he gestured to the camera.

     “If you’d just let me teach you,” he insisted.

     “Don’t start that again. I have no use for such things-“

     Their voices carried off into the distance, the conversation continuing on like usual. In the morning they parted, the topic of Rika never surfacing again.

     He felt sick with regret, sitting in the apartment clutching the photograph tightly. Why didn’t I press you? Where had that supportive friendship from his childhood gone. Lost away in obligations and business. Missed phone calls and unopened text messages. His stomach churned thinking of all the meetings and luncheons he sat through smiling while Jihyun was suffering alone, carrying the burden of it all. How many nights he sat with Elizabeth, enjoying wine before bed instead of calling him. He couldn’t stay in this space any longer. He stood up, tucking the photograph in his jacket pocket and grabbing the box of letters.

     A figure at the door stopped him in his tracks. How long had he been here? Shaggy red hair and a thin frame, Saeran stood looking just as terrible as Jumin felt inside. He had a darkness under his eyes, his hands wringing themselves with nervousness.

     “Saeyoung said you were here…he’s waiting downstairs but I just wanted…”

     Of course, Saeyoung had tracked me. He’d have to remember to talk to him about that later. But for now, he focused on the twin in front of him. Apparently he had been talking this whole time. Or rather, mumbling apologies and jumbled explanations between long pauses, like he was trying to find the right words though he must have been practicing what he wanted to say for days on end, like a mantra.

     “You’re not sleeping well, are you,” Jumin interrupted him. When the slow realization of what he had been asked, Saeran shook his head.

     Suddenly, Jumin felt the weight of the box in his hand. Hesitantly, he handed it over to Saeran. “If you really want to know what kind of person V was, you can look in that box. You aren’t sleeping anyway…at least it will give you something to do.”

     “Weren’t you taking-,” he cut himself off, “Is this really okay…?” his voice reminded Jumin of the mewling of a weak kitten.

     “If you still feel uncomfortable after reading, you can always give it back.”

     Jumin wanted to leave right then, having not much more to say that could comfort or heal a wound like that. He made he way past Saeran and opened the door, pausing just before he left.

     “You can stop apologizing and feeling guilty. There is nothing to be sorry for. After all, if you knew V...you’d know he never would have blamed you in the first place.”

     The door closed and Jumin made his way down the hall. His heart beat hard against his chest, his mind filled with the hope that one day he could believe those words applied to his own guilt and sorrow. That one day he might forgive himself.

│Ko-Fi│<--Like what you read? You can help support me °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

Thank you for reading! 

[janiedean]

(part 1) ur gonna roast me for this but im legit curious why mafia AUs are so bad? im asking in a non confrontational way, i get it romanticizing mafia is wrong, but i also believe that 1)most mafia AUs are a really toned down type of mafia;2)they do make for some interesting kinds of dynamics with fanart and with fics; 3)in a fic specifically u can create your own world and call something mafia and still make it so they don't kill innocent people but only idk members of other gangs or sth

(part 2) plus theyre a way to put ur charas in a completely diff context and see what theyll do. i mean i dont believe that writing ships in a certain context (like mafia) equals romanticizing that context. mafia AUs arent even my fav things to read (in fact i almost never do), im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

I’m not gonna roast you don’t worry xD okay wait let me check if I replied to this already if yes I’m gonna c/p because it’s half past midnight otherwise I’ll just go at it again wait *checks tags* fff obviously I don’t have a general post but anyway pls read this after you’ve done with my post and then this which is also choke-full of links. plus for a (not nice) laugh: here. AH WAIT I FOUND THE POST.

okay, so, let’s have it out of the way: I have nothing against mob aus or crime aus. I have a problem against calling them mafia AUs because in the US mafia = organized crime at large, in Italy mafia = ACTUAL EXISTING ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE ACTIVELY HARMFUL. now that I introduced the topic I’ll c/p you the reply I gave to another anon who while discussing the issue pointed out that most writers don’t even know Italian mafia is a thing, which is pretty much on the same discourse so...

*The thing is - in the US it might not be enough of a deal anymore and I honestly do get why people make the mafia = regular mobsters, since the mafia was the first foreign organized crime being exported to the US via italian immigrants (sorry if this sounds horrible in English but I just woke up and I still didn’t have coffee) so I understand that mafia became the umbrella term.But the thing is that - as you said, these people don’t even know that there’s a mafia in Italy anymore or where the word comes from.

 I’m going to link to italiansreclaimingitaly’s tag about the mafia and its perception outside Italy because they posted about this extensively and it’s an excellent resource, but meanwhile I’m gonna do a very short bullet point list and about the topic:

Mafia might not be a big deal in the US, but it still is here. We have the beauty of four different mafias (Cosa Nostra - the Sicilian one, camorra which is the one in Campania but has tendrils spread everywhere, the 'ndrangheta which is in Calabria and the Sacra Corona Unita in Puglia) which are all active [especially camorra and 'ndrangheta] and whose actions have direct impact (negative) on our economy and on our society. Actually mafias are one of the main reasons we’re currently economically fucked up, and if I start talking about how mafia culture keeps some areas literally backwards I could talk about it for three months.

There are still people who are killed for standing up against them. These days the most prominent personality is Roberto Saviano who is a writer who dared to put together a book documenting minutely the way camorra works and he’s been living under protection for years by this point. Like, they want him dead because he wrote a book. And I’m sorta sure that he was talking about leaving Italy and going to the US after years of sticking with it here because he can’t take it anymore but I don’t know if it was a taken decision or if it’s still debating it.

It wasn’t even thirty years ago that we had the stragi di mafia - in english it’d be something like the mafia slaughters, basically around the beginning of the nineties there were a number of bombs planted by the mafia targeting people who were trying to oppose it including judges Falcone and Borsellino, actually the anniversary of Falcone’s death is like... tomorrow. And they’ve killed people for way longer than that. Here is a list of only Cosa Nostra victims including the ones from the eighties/nineties. And people are still dying because of it. The slaughters I’m referring to are just the ones in the nineties which are enough of a number.

They also perpetuate a culture where if you testify against your mafia-employed relatives you’ll be shunned forever. There are women who testified against their families and couldn’t see their children anymore never mind that they weren’t automatically considered a relative anymore the moment they sided against the mafia. Some people have committed suicide after becoming witnesses also because our police force/justice system can be terribly non-supportive in this kind of situation so they got left on their own. Never mind that back in the day - it was the beginning of the nineties? - I recall at least a particular story of - I think, correct me if I remember wrong but I can’t remember the names for the life of me - where this guy testified against the local mafia when he either used to work for them or was forced to pay them the pizzo and in retaliation his six-year old (or five? Anyway he had a son younger than ten for sure) got kidnapped, killed and thrown into acid to dispose of the body. That happened in what, 1993? 1994? It’s pretty much yesterday. And now the camorra is doing the same - there’s a list here of camorra victims among which accidental passerbys that got killed because they were in the way which I can tell just by glancing is not complete. And I’m not even going into the 'ndrangheta. That is to say, here mafia still kills people and cripples our country.

Now, I get that it’s a word, but the point was: let’s say that instead of the Italians the Japanese came to the US first and the umbrella word for organized crime was yakuza rather than mafia and let’s say yakuza was still what it was originally in Japan while in the US it stopped being a big deal and people write yakuza!AU instead of mafia AU. Let’s say someone Japanese gets angry at that and goes like 'listen the yakuza is a real deal it does this this this and that and it’s a plague in our country so can you please at least look it up before writing your fanfic’, which is what had happened way back then when this whole mafia and fanfic thing blew up. A bunch of people told us to get over it because it’s just a word and if it’s a problem in Italy it’s not in the US so why should they care? Now, if we had been Japanese (or Chinese or Russian or Mexican) would they have said the same thing? Considering the general tumblr attitude I’m pretty sure they would have received either an apology or 'this is an important deal let’s keep that in mind’ with signal boost reblogs and stuff. 

It’s the fact that we should get over people not knowing that it’s still a real problem for us and that they can’t take five seconds to google it that is the problem imo. Especially when instead of mafia au you can just say mobsters au or tag it as organized crime and everyone is a lot happier, mostly because as the tag above explains romanticising the mafia is a good thing for them because it means they can act outside Italy with less stigma because everyone thinks that the mafia is dead or not relevant anymore, if I’m explaining myself. (And it’s active outside Italy - like, there was a mafia kill in Germany in 2007 where six people died (sorry the link is in Italian but there isn’t an English wiki page, if you look the city up you’ll find something probably) and it was because of the 'ndrangheta.

I’d really like to not get worked over it because it meant it was a thing of the past y'know, but the problem is that it isn’t and I’d rather spread some awareness in hope some of these writers look it up (because it’s a good thing that people know what mafia is since as stated they have tendrils everywhere - if you read Saviano’s book the entire first chapter is about how camorra regularly deals with Chinese import/export in Italy for one) than shrug and figure that since they’ll think everything is good for fanfic then it’s not even worth my time.*

Now, ^^^ that was the c/p-ed reply that should answer most of your doubts. What I didn’t address was:

im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

aaaand as we say here in Italy, this is where the donkey falls (sorry we have weird sayings), because in theory there’s nothing wrong with that... except that in 99% of the mafia aus I’ve seen around the thing is that they’re supposed to be cute.

like, I see a lot of shit with TINY MAFIA BOSS STEVE ROGERS with RUSSIAN ENFORCER BUCKY (????? bucky isn’t even russian???) and the yoi thing I saw before had the japanese character being the leader of a russian mafia gang which is... like... guys it doesn’t happen it really doesn’t, and a lot of them re-use wrongly terminology taken from the godfather without context or knowing what the hell it means, and it’s always from the criminals’ pov and they’re somehow seen as criminals doing justice where the police can’t (???) and like... no. mafia bosses/enforcers/employees are bad people period, and at least here if you try to leave or repent they kill your family in retribution. like, not even ten years ago there’s been a woman who used to belong to a mafia family (or one colluded with the mafia) who testified and her entire town/family shunned her and she couldn’t take it anymore and... killed herself drinking acid if I don’t recall wrong. it’s not even special cases. this shit is not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not adorable and it’s not good fodder for your imagine your otp scenario (srsly I saw one like.. let me find it,

LIKE. just look at this shit. in a regular context, the enforcer goes to the show owner to force them to pay a monthly sum to their boss lest they destroy their shop and their lives and their family’s life never mind that mafia culture is deeply homophobic so the mafia enforcer flirting with the shopkeeper is like completely fucking out of the question. I mean, people here like to shit on the sopranos but that show was actually excellent representation of Horrid Criminals Who Were Never Supposed To Be Good People and the small arc that happened when one of tony’s friends turned out to be gay (closeted) was REALLY well done. btw, it ended that when they found out he was gay most of the crowd rejected him and thought badly of him until I think they killed him also for other reasons, but that spiraled from finding out he liked dick. and that’s american mafia that they actually based on well-done research of the culture in Italy it came from, I assure you that here it doesn’t work that differently. like. the shit above is so inaccurate and frankly offensive, it’s like... I get people romanticizing problematic stuff but the thing is that when you tell them that it’s actually offensive you get brushed off as ‘ah well you’re being too sensitive it’s just a word u__u’. now, I’m all for exploring shit we wouldn’t be into, but not like THAT, because that’s like mafia romantic comedy and that’s not how it works. now, you wanna do a fic where the mafia characters are deeply flawed and bad people and the police tries to catch them? fine, great, go ahead. you wanna do a fic where the enforcer above deals with dunno an entire life of internalized homophobia when he finds the shopkeeper attractive and feels conflicted over having to con money out of him and doing horrible shit for a living and maybe understanding that crime isn’t worth it and then he actually collaborates with the police and gets shit from about everyone he knows and loves for that? okay, awesome, go ahead. nothing bad in that.

but the shit above is not exploring things we wouldn’t/writing darkfic, it’s THINKING THAT A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION WHICH IS STILL A THING IN OUR PART OF THE WORLD IS CUTE AND ADORABLE. and that only plays in their favor because it takes the bad aura out of the word and we really should not let that happen. like. that is what is bad about mafia aus and mafia discourse, that people don’t realize the mafia is alive and well and thriving and not a thing that doesn’t exist or a generic word for organized crime.

you wanna write the shit above? okay, CALL IT CRIME AU or mob au, not mafia au.

btw, add-on: idk if I mentioned it in the above post or not, but in case I didn’t, I said that people would balk at the idea of a mexican cartel au. sadly since then I’ve found out a fandom where not only there is one but it’s also extra cutesy and people apparently love it and it has a bunch of kudos/comments and idek I’m not even touching that with a ten foot pole but like... I’ve avoided it and everything that author wrote because to me it’s just... nope. like, nope. if you do mafia aus don’t make them fucking cute. (also: in the same fandom I had to mute a v. famous fanartist whose art I actually liked but did cutesy mafia aus and.. like... haahahhaahahahahaha nah sorry. can’t go there. nope.)

[cliftonsteen]

Enjoying Coffee While Going Back To Work

Covid-19 means the world as we know it has changed, and that means coffee consumption has, too. In May, there was an astounding 5,380% increase in US curbside and pickup coffee sales as many consumers had to stay at home. Overall, however, sales are down – by as much as 50% throughout Europe. 

But as more and more businesses decide that employees can return to work, how will office coffee consumption change? Shared office coffee pots may soon be a thing of the past, and many cafés are reopening at limited capacity.

To learn more about how we can adapt to these unprecedented times, whether in a coffee shop or in the office, I spoke with Alan Adler, Jieun Kim, and Mat North.

You may also like How To Make Your Coffee Shop Favourites With The AeroPress

How Has Covid-19 Affected Coffee Shops?

For many of us, visiting a coffee shop near the office is a daily ritual. However, because of the pandemic, many businesses across the world have had to close their doors, including coffee shops. In June 2020, only 41% of small businesses were fully open in the US. To date, around 20% remain completely closed. 

Jieun Kim is a barista at KAHVE in Vancouver BC, Canada. She explains how the café has been affected by the pandemic:

“KAHVE had to close in March. In mid-May, the store reopened after the British Columbia Ministry of Health announced new health and safety policies for the food service business, including maximum seating capacity.”

Guidelines are still changing with Covid-19 infection rates, and they can be difficult to follow. It’s imperative that coffee shop owners keep track of any changes that could affect their businesses. 

Over the course of April, as many as one in five people across the world were instructed to stay at home. However, while many cafés closed, others adapted to offer coffee in a different way. For example, some changed to offer coffee and brewing equipment online, while others started providing pickup and delivery options.

Mat North is the founder and co-owner of Full Court Press in Bristol, UK. Since stopping indoor service on March 21, Full Court Press have started offering delivery by bicycle for customers.

Mat says that hygiene and safety have been priorities when he delivers coffee. He tells me: “For bike deliveries, gloves are useless unless you change each time you use them. I take some hand sanitiser with me, place [the] delivery on the step, and retreat where possible.”

Around 26% of coffee shops were fully cashless by the end of April, and this number is only set to increase as the pandemic pushes more people to move away from cash. However, Mat has designed a way for his baristas to accept cash and minimise the spread of the virus.

“Cash is a crucial system,” Mat believes. “There is no significant danger to taking cash if managed properly. To help [with] this, we use a UV sanitiser and tip trays.”

However, despite the fact that cafés are reopening, sitting in for an extended period of time isn’t really an option in many areas. Working, studying, or even having a meeting in a coffee shop is not currently feasible for most people. How we consume coffee has drastically changed, and it looks like it will still be a while before things are back to normal. 

“Coffee shops won’t be a place for study and work until the pandemic is gone,” Jieun says. 

Returning To Coffee Shops Safely

So, how do we adapt? Well, more and more businesses are reopening every day, meaning that you might be considering a return to your favourite coffee shop. Before you go back, however, make sure that you are fully aware of the new health and safety guidelines in place.

Jieun tells me about the protective measures used at KAHVE. “To protect staff, [we] provided masks and face protectors, [and] installed a glass shield at the till to avoid direct contact with customers.” She also notes that the coffee shop has “removed the complimentary area” and now “provides milk, water, etc upon request”.

Using personal protective equipment (PPE) like masks and face shields is crucial in preventing the spread of Covid-19. However, it’s important to remember that PPE is most effective when everyone uses it. Where necessary, remember to wear a mask inside a coffee shop. If you’re not sure whether or not you need one, keep a mask on your person just in case.

Remember that most coffee shops will also be operating at limited capacity. This means longer queues, so make sure that you arrive with plenty of time to spare, or wait until after the morning rush. Some coffee shops may offer hand sanitiser and disinfectant wipes if you don’t come with your own. 

It’s also important to be mindful of the fact that procedures will change from café to café. Mat explains that Full Court Press have set up a socially distanced espresso bar that is comfortable for both customers and staff. 

“The key for us was to create a space that customers would feel safe and welcome in. We did this by creating space between the customers and staff, using an atypical bar design. All interactions are at an angle, which extends the distance between staff and customers.”

Responsibly Enjoying Coffee In The Office

For those who prefer to avoid cafés, brewing and drinking coffee in the office is still an option. However, as you go back to work, be aware that there will likely be a lot of changes in your office building. For example, many workplaces have now banned shared coffee pots entirely.

Where possible, drinkers need to consider responsible consumption options. Alan Adler is the president of AeroPress Inc. and the inventor of the original AeroPress coffee maker. He tells me about the new AeroPress Go travel coffee press, which is a self-contained brewing device that comes with its own mug and lid.

“It has a mug that the AeroPress fits inside of, along with a scoop, and you can even squeeze a little bit of coffee in there for a day’s use. It would allow you to keep your consumption germ-free, away from the usual office pot.”

As the AeroPress Go packs up in its own mug, the consumer can easily transport it from home to office without losing any of the brewing equipment. The AeroPress Go’s included mug also means that you don’t have to risk sharing mugs with your co-workers.

Most people would naturally be concerned that making coffee at your desk could get messy. However, Alan explains that the AeroPress Go is designed to prevent spillages.

“The process is very tidy: you put 1 or 2 scoops of grounds into the AeroPress Go, and the scoop means that they all go inside and don’t spill.”

“After you press it, you eject the grounds into the trash then you can just leave it alone. If you want, you could rinse it off, or simply wipe the seal with a tissue or paper towel.”

In some offices, kettles may not always be available. Alan says that this isn’t a problem for people using the AeroPress Go. He says that if necessary, “you can brew coffee with room temperature water” using the AeroPress cold brew recipe.

“It makes a very sweet and rich cup. You can enjoy it at room temperature, or warm it after brewing in the office microwave.”

For consumers who prefer to brew coffee at work, Jieun says that the “most important thing” is “using good beans”. She recommends that people “ask a barista for advice on which beans to buy, and if possible, invest in a grinder”.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re enjoying coffee at a café near your workplace, or brewing in the office. The most important thing is staying up to date on the health and safety procedures that are designed to protect you and those around you.

However, as you go back to work, consider which option is most convenient and comfortable for you. Brewing at your desk might not have been something you would have considered before Covid-19, but who knows – it might even become your new favourite hobby. 

Photo credits: J. Andersson Photography, Mika Yasuda, Nikki Bigger and Ben Waugh

Enjoyed this? Then read AeroPress Coffee Guide: How To Brew For Different Flavour Profiles

Please note: AeroPress are a sponsor of Perfect Daily Grind.

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34 Countries, 20,000 Kilometers, One Bicycle: An Interview with Barista Gavyn Stroh

34 Countries, 20,000 Kilometers, One Bicycle: An Interview with Barista Gavyn Stroh by Michael

We love hearing from our readers, especially if they’re passing through one of the cities our blogging team is based (Louisville, San Francisco, and Istanbul). It was in the latter we met up with Canadian barista Gavyn Stroh, sharing a pour-over at Coffee Department in Balat. Istanbul is one of the world’s great travel hubs, so it’s not uncommon to meet visiting coffee professionals. But what made our visit with Gavyn exceptional was his mode of transportation. Turkey is one of 34 countries Gavyn cycled through over the last 12 months. We’ve been following his journey since that delicious naturally-processed El Salvador we shared, and we’ve been taken by its breath-taking panoramas, ever-increasing tan lines, and of course, the many cups of coffee along the way. Now that his journey is coming to a close we caught up with him to learn about coffee on the open road. 

How did you decide to leave your native Canada and travel the world by bicycle?

In February of 2016 I was in the midst of the final semester of my Bachelor’s degree. Procrastination led me to YouTube where I stumbled upon a set of videos made by a Bulgarian-Canadian man named Iohan that chronicles his journey from the Arctic Ocean to Ushuaia at the southern tip of South America. I really latched onto the idea of travelling at a human pace and travelling in a way that isn’t carbon emission intensive. I graduated in the spring of 2016 then used the following year and four months to save up money and plan the trip. This trip is something of a transition period for me. After spending the better part of five years in Winnipeg for work and school, I was missing being in proximity to my family in Squamish, British Columbia. Two weeks before leaving on this trip my parents helped me move my things back to BC, now I can get a fresh start when I return back home to Canada.

Tell us about your background in the coffee industry. 

I got my foot in the door of the coffee industry when my university opened up a cafe in their brand new library building. I worked there for the first three months of 2015 before I found my way into another start-up. One of my professors was one of five owners in the process of building out a new cafe in Winnipeg’s downtown core. Before Fools & Horses’ opening in May of 2015, I secured part-time employment in addition to part-time work in a practicum/co-op capacity. I spent half my time behind the bar making coffee, and the other half of my time helping the business set up a compost program, waste tracking, and carbon emissions accounting.

Do you ever miss working bar while on the open road?

Absolutely. Two main reasons stick out to me. One, I miss the routine. Being on the road doesn’t really let you settle into a groove in the same way. Two, I miss the people. My coworkers and my regulars! There’s something truly unique about the relationships that form between coworkers and between employee and customer. I miss that continuity of relationship – while on the road you’re barely able to scratch the surface before you’re in a new place with new people. In the cafe you see people daily, they’re part of your life, and you’re part of theirs. Over time you actually get to know these people, and some of them reciprocate and get to know you too.

It seems you do a pretty thorough cafe crawl in every city you visit. What cafes have been highlights?

I do my best! I would likely go to more if I wasn’t constrained by my caffeine tolerance, or my budget! I would have not found half of these shops if it weren’t for Ales and Radic of European Coffee Trip and their efforts in the greater European coffee community.

Naturally different cafes stand out for different reasons. I was starstruck by the opportunity to visit Tim Wendelboe in Oslo (even got the chance to chat with him before he had to run off to the airport). Gardelli Specialty Coffee in Forli was another cafe that I have admired from afar for some time and was able to incorporate into the route of my trip.

Mame in Zurich and Dabov Specialty Coffee in Sofia stand out for really great service. I’ve seen my own preferences shift from just finding really good coffee in a pretty space to prioritizing the service experience. Making good coffee is easy, offering really good service while juggling a half dozen other things behind the bar, is not.

It has been really interesting to visit all these European cafes and contrast the experiences with those I’ve had in Canada. One very notable difference I’ve noticed has been the European trend of table service vs. the north american culture of calling out drinks from the bar. Not that one is better than the other, just different.

Do you tour with any brewing gear? What’s your coffee routine look like when you’re out in the countryside?

I’m not sure I would’ve been able to make it this far or this long if I didn’t have coffee with me! And, after working in coffee for three years I was vehemently against subjecting myself to gas station coffee, or worse yet, instant coffee.  I am touring with an Aeropress, a Porlex mini handgrinder, a 2000g pocket scale, and a 0.8L stovetop kettle.

I have spent over 80 nights camped out on the side of the road on my way to the next major destination while on this trip. The coffee routine starts in the afternoon before I make my coffee by ensuring I have enough water to last me through the night and into the morning. Water becomes a really interesting brewing variable when you never have the same water source. I’ve used water from gas stations, mosques, cemeteries, mountain springs, and, when desperate, lake water with purifications tablets mixed in.

I’ll make my first cup after having a bite to eat for breakfast. I’ve had as many as seven different whole bean options to choose from while on this trip. I’m not terribly good at impulse control when I see a coffee I think I might enjoy! I’ll drink my first cup while double checking my route plan for the day and I usually make a second cup after finishing packing up my tent and loading up my bike for another day in the saddle. I have bag mounted to my handlebars that fits my Keep Cup perfectly, so I’m able to enjoy that second coffee while pedaling those first few kilometers of the day.

I may actually be the only touring cyclist out there with two brewing devices and two coffee grinders. When I passed through Istanbul in December I picked up a cezve/ibrik made by Soy and a grinder made by Hon. It’s been cool to play around with a new brewing device – despite the fact that it adds an extra pound or so to my packed weight.

A grand bicycle tour seems so romantic, but I’m sure there’s been some hard days along the way. Any close calls stick out to you?

My threshold for what makes a close call or what makes for a hard day has changed a little over time. Back at the beginning of the trip I was scared off the narrow secondary highway to Paris by close passing cars and trucks. In Bulgaria I became unsettlingly comfortable with two cars charging down the two-lane highways with me in the oncoming lane.

I did have a pretty close call in Montenegro, but that was mostly my own fault. I was descending down the twenty-six hairpin corners that led back to Kotor when the Austrian couple driving in front of me braked to let a car coming the opposite direction come up the hill. I locked up both brakes before careening into the back of their SUV. I managed to come to a stop as I was nearly in-line with the passenger side window, and inches from tumbling off the road entirely.

I had a second notable close call on my first attempt at cycling a century (100mi/161km) in one day. I was coming down a hill into Bodrum when a car door flung open. I was fortunately able do throw the bike to the left and avoid being sent flying over the handlebars!

Rain days are always hard. They’re bound to happen eventually, so you often just have to push through them. I had a really bad rain day on the final day of three on the way from Fethiye to Antalya. My shoes and socks and gloves were all soaked through and I managed to get a flat tire in the middle of the downpour. On my first day cycling from Pisa to Rome in mid-November I encountered much more rain than I had expected. I found myself caught on a highway as the rain started – unable to put on my rain gear before getting wet. The rest of the day alternated between 1.5 hours of rain, to 1.5 hours of no rain. After I had found a suitable spot for camping overnight on the side of the road, the skies opened up for another bout of rain. Not wanting to try to set up my tent and get the inside completely soaked, I stood there in my wet shoes with my arms at my side and I waited for the rain to pass over, or at least let up enough for me to set up my tent.

I’m sure you’re tired of being asked this by now, but how many kilometers have you logged? Countries passed through?

I don’t get tired of people asking how far I’ve travelled. I always get a bit of a laugh from the reactions of the people who ask! I have cycled 19,422 kilometers over the last 11.5 months! I’m currently in Glasgow, but will be flying home from London in three weeks. Three weeks should be plenty of time to push myself over the 20,000 kilometer mark – that’s halfway around the world at the equator.

This trip has allowed me to visit 34 countries! The United Kingdom, France, Luxembourg, Germany, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Monaco, Italy, Vatican City, Greece, Turkey, Cyprus, Bulgaria, Macedonia, Albania, Montenegro, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Hungary, Slovakia, Austria, Czech Republic, Poland, Russia, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Finland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, the Netherlands, Belgium, and Ireland.

34 Countries, 20,000 Kilometers, One Bicycle: An Interview with Barista Gavyn Stroh was first posted by Michael on The Coffee Compass, The Coffee Compass - Your Guide for Craft Coffee

34 Countries, 20,000 Kilometers, One Bicycle: An Interview with Barista Gavyn Stroh published first on https://linlincoffeeequipment.tumblr.com/

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Avilla Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 46710

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Years ago, when I was married, I had a brand new truck with a full-coverage policy costing $114 per month. I had a spectacular driving record, I was a 31 yr old female with a family, not a 19 yr old ripping up the streets. When we divorced, my auto insurance instantly doubled! It didn't just go up $50, it DOUBLED. Does anyone know why??""

A question about car insurance?

We own three cars and have insurance on all three. If my daughter moves to another city and takes one of the cars, will the insurance still cover her? Typically the rates are based on where you live. Thanks for any advice!""

Whats the best auto insurance for me?

i want a insurance company that gives gives checks to me for claims and lets me fix my car not shops. geico? AAA?

Avilla Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 46710

Avilla Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 46710

Young Driver. Big Raise in Auto Insurance Rates! Can you help?

My son is 15 and is getting his learner's permit. My insurance company wants almost $200 a month to insure him on my policy. I had low rates and a good record so this shocked me. Can anybody help?

Health insurance???

my family doesnt have insurance but we re really need one and there is a insurance called IOB or something. the website is www.ameriplanusa.com i dont really understand it. can u guys help me??? thanx alot!!!

Can I buy motorcycle insurance for one month and cancel?

I'll be going away for college in a little over a month and I wanted to insure my motorcycle to I can ride it for the remainder of the summer. If I only want insurance for one month, should I just tell them that, or buy coverage with monthly payments and stop paying after the first month? Also, if I just stop paying, will this make it harder to get coverage from them in the future?""

Would it be the cheapest sports car?

I saw the 4 cheapes sports cars for insurance a mazda mx 5 and a pontiac solstice would they be the cheapest sports car for insurance for a 16 year old or what sports car would be the cheapest to insure for a teen I know for a teen with a sports car would not be cheap we have the money but what sports car would be the cheapes for a teen

""If someone gets a ticket in my car, will it have any effect on my insurance?""

My boyfriend got a speeding ticket in my car, and the ticket has my tag number and registration number on it. Will it effect my insurance?""

Employer health insurance?

When you have employer health insurance is there a waiting period for maturnity coverage to start?

""If someone gets a ticket in my car, will it have any effect on my insurance?""

My boyfriend got a speeding ticket in my car, and the ticket has my tag number and registration number on it. Will it effect my insurance?""

How much can i sue and get from car insurance for pain and suffering for $600 worth of medicals?

How much can i sue and get from car insurance for pain and suffering for $600 worth of medicals?

Car insurance when diving in the usa?

i'm going to Florida soon and getting a hired car as part of the package.i phoned the travel company who told me it will cost me 300 to insure us for 2 weeks that's almost double what i'm paying for my own annual car insurance is that the going rate or can i get it cheaper shopping around or because there giving me the rental do i have to go with them

Cheap health insurance?

I have an account with a community clinic and i am eligible for a 90% discount and i have only had to go once for a sprained wrist. I cannot afford health insurance so the clinic ...show more

How much is motorcycle insurance for a harley davidson sportster 1200 in Maine ?

What's the price for full coverage and just liability

So confused bout car insurance.....?

i want to save a little money by switching my car insurance! i have allstate insurance and pay for 2 cars 786 every 6 months.both my husband and i have good driving records and are over 50. to me this seems like a lot of money. our cars are not high performance cars. why so much? geico quoted me a policy of 404 every 6 months,but i don't know if they are good or too good to be true! anybody out there have any feed back for me?? Thanks""

What is the best company for car insurance?

I think I pay way too much for car insurance right now and I have no tickets on my record. I want to switch too a cheaper company. The monthly payment is killing me. Anybody know of a really cheap company I can switch too?

How much my insurance will go up?

How much my insurance will go up? I had an accident which totaled my car. I am 100% at fault for that accident and my car worth 15000$. I have clear driving record and no tickets in past two years. How much will my insurance go up I am paying 900$ for six months

""1998 Honda civic, had a car accident, back tire smashed in back Axel is bent how much will this cost me?

Any chance my insurance company will decide to total it out?

What can I do if my car insurance company denied my claim for inconsistency in my report?

Im going to lay down what happened and I would appreciate your opinion. It started when my 2007 gs eclipse clutch gave out the dealership close to my house wasn't a very professional looking place when it came to their shop they mistreated the cars that where there and had old rusted cars parked in their lot. So, I did not want to get it repaired there, I made a big fuss with mitsubishi but after sitting the car in my lot for 2 months I lost my job and I had to get it fixed there anyway cause of warranty issues and I needed my car to look for another job i'm a truck driver that's why it took 2 months and my car had 7000 miles on it i hardly ever used it. I noticed that after I had it back the cruise control wasn't working I didn't take it back because of the fear of something worse happening to it. My mom suggested that I get repair by my cousins husband so my mom handed me her cell phone called him and told me to bring it in the morning because he worked all day til 7pm and if i couldn't get to him to leave the key under the plant in front of the garage door (that call was on 6-24-09). I tried to get there early enough (6-25-09) but i missed him and no one was home so I placed the key under the plant and left I told the police officer that I had made a call to him after dropping the key but the phone number to reach him was on my moms cell phone. I thought I did I couldn't remember because I came back a day later for the car. After I walked home I thought id leave it there a day so he could find the problem, since he gets home at 7pm. When I got there on 6-26-09 my car wasn't there and they said they never saw it there so i called the police to see if it was towed it wasn't and the key wasn't there either, police came over and took my statement but on the report he stated that the car was stolen on 6-26-09 and the phone number I used to call to tell them I was leaving the car there was written down wrong. The insurance company said that the inconsistencies where that I did not use my cell to make a phone call on the 6-24-09 or 6-25-09 I told them that i used my mothers cell phone in the oath recorded meeting they recorded my statement a week after i reported my car stolen and i failed to tell them i used my mothers cell phone but they didn't ask and I also told them I called when I placed the key under the plant but I was confused because I had called my cousin twice on 6-24-09. I never failed to make a payment on any of my bills and i have good credit score I'm in fact almost done with my car payment. They also brought to my attention that I tried to sell the car but i have proof that i've been trying to sell my car since 2008 and there was a buyer and i have his emails that offered to buy my car with a $1000.00 profit for me. please tell me what do think i should do about this situation?""

Cheap insurance?

cheap insurance

Lapse in health insurance?

My husband is about to have a lapse in health insurance, for about 4 months? Reasons being, because I am pregnant, and no insurance company will cover an expectant father. We will be getting him covered once the baby comes. What are the reprecussions for having a lapse in health insurance? He has no pre-existing conditions and is very healthy.""

Cheap car insurance with different situations?

HI I have one car at the moment. I am looking to buy another one for my wife. I want to know how will it work out cheap to get both insured. is it 1) If we both can drive eachothers cars? 2)we have seperate insurances on our cars and we can not drive eachothers cars? 3)I can drive my wife's car but she cant drive mine.? Also how can we protect individual no claim bonuses aswel. Thanks

Young male looking for answers with car insurance?

I am just wondering if someone could help me out, because I hear other people my age talking about having ~$150 insurance rates, while mine are $350 a month. They say they are under their parents names, but when I tried to go under my moms they apparently told her it wasnt possible.. I am an 19 year old male, me and my mom are the only drivers in my house and we have 2 cars. We live in Ontario, I HAVE completed drivers ed and am currently a college student. Is there any reason why other people can put car insurance under their parents but i cant? Is there any way to fix this?""

If you have fully comp insurance & drive somebody elses car & have a bump will it cover damage?

my daughter lent her car to her cousin who has fully comp of her own but she crashed the car will her insurance pay for damage??????????

""How good would a 1.6 Renault Clio RXE for road tax ,insurance running costs be?""

How good would a 1.6 Renault Clio RXE for road tax ,insurance running costs be?""

65 Life Insurance vs. Term Life Insurance?

My wife and I currently have 65 life insurance which we pay about $130 per month for the two of us. After listening to her friend Suze Orman she wants to get rid of the 65 life and get term life insurance. 1st question is what do you think is better and 2nd is how easy is it to settle your current life insurance to cash out and if you stay with the same company can you roll your current $value into the new term life? Thanks

How much is car insurance for a brand new HS 250h Premium Luxury lexus?

I'm 17, female, I live in St.John's NL and might do driving school""

""Insurance whilst working In italy for 7 months for an aussie company, anyone got any good recommendations?

My job is travelling around I already have basic Travel Insurance

Avilla Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 46710

Avilla Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 46710

Cheap car insurance in Arizona for an 18 year old with a volkswagon beetle?

i really want a volkswagon beetle, and then one im looking at right now is a 2006 with 70,000 miles (i know, its alot but thats not what im asking you to answer on) and its a convertible. i've never had my own car, and right now im using a family member's. i dont have ANY credit, idk if that helps or not... i already know my car payments are going to be high, so i want cheap insurance, that will still cover me. i see commercials for The General and Freeway Insurance, along with Safeauto. are they good companies? i kind of checked out The General, and it wasnt as cheap as i thought it was going to be... help?!""

How to talk to somone on the phone to set up appointments for insurance?

hi guys i just got a job at a insurance place and my part of the job is to call people to get insurance leads. does anyone know whats the best way to sell insurance and get appointments? please and thank you

Good Student Discount Auto Insurance?

I have a 3.6 GPA. My grade is A average, but one of my quarter grade was a C, but the final semester came out as a B. Well, anyways, do we just send them the report card that we got or do we have to get the sealed one from school? Thanks! Thanks again!""

How much will it cost to up my car insurance to use car for work?

How much will it cost to up my car insurance to use car for work?

What car would be cheapest for insurance?

When I turn 16 I am deciding on getting a v6 1998 firebird or a 1998 v6 camaro what one do you think would be cheaper for insurance. I live in nebraska in a small town

I'm paying $3000 a year for car insurance..HELP?

Okay so I got into some accidents messing around along with some tickets a few years ago and about 2 in a half years ago a DUI. The car insurance should get lowered a little I think by next July 2014 because of good record for almost 3 years knock on wood so my question is should I attempt to find a different insurance by now or what? Or should I just sell car and find a ride with friends to work somehow? This is really taking every penny I have. I pay what I can while my family pays the rest. I've had plans to move to NC in Oct of this year in a apartment with my friend so I'm currently saving up around $3000 for expenses on bills, food, and whatever else which should last me until I find new job out there. Everything with us is getting split 50/50 but with me the car insurance is so high its going to be impossible to do. Help on what to do?? I'm not looking to stay at my parents house for very much longer so saving up isn't a option past oct.""

Is Northern Illinois University health insurance any good?

I really dont understand insurance that well so here is the link http://www.niu.edu/shi/information/index.shtml they charge 395 per semester

Any good/affordable individual health plans for me and unborn baby in Connecticut?

My boyfriend and I are moving to Connecticut in Nov. from Seattle area. His plan can't be renewed until next summer. I got laid off in July and am currently on COBRA plan with my former employer ($350/month). The carrier is Kaiser Permanente. The HR told me there is no Kaiser in NY/Connecticut area and recommends me to buy individual health plan with other companies. Anybody knows good health plans for young and healthy woman (with a baby coming) in Conn. area? Thanks in advance!

Can student loans cover health insurance?

I am attending University and I do not agree with the Health Insurance my University provides. The semester expense is $1875 and it is applied to my tuition costs. Those costs are being covered by a mixture of scholarship and student loans. If I opt to purchase my own student health insurance through a different provider - can I pay for it with Student Loans?

What is the cheapest insurance company?

I just bought a car, and I have no driver license. Which company offer the cheapest insurance?""

What is the best car and best insurance to go with?

I'm 20 years old new driver I know my insurance going to be high I'm taking A 6 hour road ready driving school but at the end what is the best car I'm not really into cars I'm much more into kind of truck sure enough that would be the best type of car and insurance car insurance that help new drivers not Kill they wallets / bank account

How can we get health care to be more affordable?

55,000 to 100,000+ got an appendectomy is just too much for the average person with a savings under 2,000 ...show more""

Where is the best place to get cheap car insurance for young drivers?

Where is the best place to get cheap car insurance for young drivers?

How much does a ticket cost for no proof insurance in ca?

I got a ticket for no proof of insurance at the time. But I have insurance. Does anyone know how much the ticket costs. Or what I can do to get it written off??

How much is my health/car insurance going to be?

i am a 18 year old girl in california. ive never gotten a ticket or pulled over and i drive a 2010 ford fusion se(4 cyllinder) with all the safety features it offers. i dont think i have bad credit because all i have is a debit card that is attached to my parents accounts and they deposit money in it when i need it. so if i try to go over my limit it doesnt let me. we have triple a insurance and our bank is wells fargo. i dont know if having a job changes the price but ive had 2 other jobs and am currently employed in a new one. ive never been fired only laid off once because i was a seasonal worker and i quit another for not enough hours. all 3 jobs are retail jobs not making more than 9 dollars an hour. also i am a full time student with 12 units in a community college. My parents have basically perfect credit, both of them. does anyone know how much it will be for both health and car insurance if i start paying?""

""Insurance- Cabin, not sure which insurance?""

We live ouside of Canada, but own property with a cabin on it. My dad and aunt own it. According to the insurance if one of the owners (ppl on the insurance) are not on the property (say, 500 miles away) if something happens (like someone falls breaks there leg) to someone we take there, we are not covered and could sue us. If my dad put me on the insurance would our aunt have the right to sell the property without us having any say? He thinks that if I am put on the insurance I will be on his half and my aunt will still have her half therefore giving her more power. Is there any way around this insurance and suing thing if I want to go up there with some friends without them?""

What do you think is the best health insurance company in southern california?

i need to purchase individual coverage.

What happens to money at the end of life insurance term?

As a young child and teen, I remember my mom saying on a few occasions that she bought term life insurance when I was a baby. It was a 30 year plan for 100,000. She said that the term would end when I turn 30 years old and if she doesn't die by the time it ends....then SHE would be able to collect on the plan (getting the 100k) Now, I am 30 years old..and want to by term life insurance so my child will be taken care of incase I die. I'm thinking off getting a 20 year term. MY QUESTION - is it so that in 20 years...if I don't die, then I will be able to collect all that money? I'm doing research on it and finding that with regular term life insurance, you don't get any money at the end of the term.....but I remember my mom saying different. What do you know about it? (it isn't possible to ask my mom about it)""

Do i need car insurance for a family member to teach me to drive?

I am 17 in 2 weeks and am going to start my driving lessons, along side my lessons with a licensed instructor I would like my mother to also give me some extra help like driving around quiet roads, or in a empty car park. For this I need insurance but I obviously don't want to pay full out insurance for just learning. I have heard of something called learner driver insurance would this work for what I want to do? If so do you have a link of where I could buy it or know any other way that I could legally learn to dive in the car? Thanks Josh""

What is the estimated cost of a pool monthly in California including insurance?

What is the estimated cost of a pool monthly in California including insurance?

What is the cheapest car insurance for 25 year old female in Florida?

What is the cheapest car insurance for 25 year old female in Florida?

Car Insurance questions?

If my wife and I are separated, She took one of my cars...can I take her off my insurance policy so that she can insure herself?""

What is a good cheap auto insurance?

i have progressive right now and its almost 300 cause i have a new car..are there ne others that are cheaper but have a good policy??? i live in kentucky

Home Insurance replacement cost?

Anyone have any idea how insurance companies figure out what it would cost to rebuild an entire house if it burned down or blew away...I live on long island....I would assume it is the square footage multiplied by a cost per foot....any ideas what the actual cost per foot is today????

What is the best insurance company to go through for motorcycle insurance?

What is the best insurance company to go through for motorcycle insurance?

Avilla Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 46710

Avilla Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 46710

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