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seriiousgiirl · 2 years ago

Text

Sweet Juice

Severus Snape x Alumni!reader.

NFSW! Basically (fluffy) smut with a massive plot. //! Incorrect use of Potions.

Severus is 30 years old in this fic, you are 23, minor age gap.

Summary: Ever since your youth, you were passionate about the art of Potions. Luckily, during your time at Hogwarts, you found a mentor in the strict and cold Professor Snape. Having made a habit of spending hours after class talking to him, all of this came to an abrupt end during your final year. Leaving you in a total mystery, with no answers. It was only years later that you took your revenge, in the hope of moving on. Not suspecting that it would bring you face to face with your deepest desires.

A/N: I admit I could have turned this into a multi-chapter fanfic, but I figured that would break the rhythm, so enjoy this long read! This fic is inspired by ‘Sweet Juice’ by Purple Kiss, go stream it for a better life! Trust me (;

Word count: 14k. (hehe)

"Ah- Miss Y/f/n, please accept this price. It is an honour to be able to reward young talents like yourself." The little cup was hurriedly placed in your hands.

"It is an honour to be awarded with this prestigious prize," You politely thanked the crowd.

Your eyes lingered on the name of the prize, ‘Research & Development, winner of the best potion of the year'. And without even realising it, your lips drew a somewhat smug smile. Standing upright, ready to have your photo done, to appear in the next edition of the Daily Prophet, with pride, you held the cup in your hands. In that busy room, you were the youngest. And yet, you are the one who has been praised for your achievements. Earning jealous glares from the potion makers, who coveted it as much as you did.

"Miss, can you tell us more about your potion, how did you get the idea?" You were asked, for what you guessed was now an actual interview.

"I wanted to be able to help the Wizards and Witches to unwind more easily, it is sometimes difficult to let go of work pressure and its boredom. That is why I decided to study Amortentia, and its derivations, in order to create a potion capable of releasing in us the hormones necessary to enjoy ourselves... Without the negative effects of the ancient Potions." You explained, in the simplest way possible to the journalists.

"So it's a potion that gets you aroused?" One adds.

You frowned, a little offended by this shortcut, "Yes, in theory, but it goes deeper than that. Otherwise, I wouldn't be rewarded today. But if you want to know, you have to taste it... All the reviews have been very positive." You commented, with a wink.

To summarise months, almost a whole year of research, is almost an insult to your work. Amortentia is one of the most dangerous potions. Studying it to the point of understanding its mechanism and removing the obsession it causes, was the greatest achievement of the process. The rest was just a series of experiments, an understanding of the human body and its hormones, and it was done.

The result was prodigious, it brought a sense of relaxation, without the risk of an eternal sleep like the Draught of Peace. Comfort and love, without the risk of being manipulated by an evil liquid. And then, depending on the quantity used, the effects could be more or less intense, but never dangerous. Quite remarkable, considering all the side effects that most Potions could provide.

You deserve your reward tonight for many reasons, no one else has been able to do it in the past.

“Have you always held an interest in the subject?" The interview proceeded, to have some content for the beloved magazine.

"Yes, since my school days at Hogwarts. I quickly found a vocation in the subject, expressing my talents at an early age.” You paused, before continuing, "But it would never have been possible without the support of my teacher and mentor, Severus Snape, who taught me everything. His talent is second to none, and next to it, I am nobody, even after tonight." You humbly added, with another smile.

At the end of this sentence, your eyes searched for a certain dark silhouette.

Unlike earlier, that smile was particularly forced on your lips. To say that he had supported you was a fine lie. While at first he was indeed ‘supporting’ you (more like a tolerating you), graciously accepting you to attend his prestigious private Potion club, the entirety of your last year was a failure.

In your first years, you never had to face his wrath and nasty comments, simply because he couldn't blame you for anything. Your work was perfect, from theory to application. But to him, you were nothing.

With time, and your growing skills, things changed. There was a time when you even assumed that an understanding had developed between the two of you, you were not friends, it was impossible with such a man, but it wasn’t nothing either. Eventually, the discussions after class or the club, sharing theories and experiences, became quite regular. Sometimes up to dinner hour, and even after curfew, the time went by so quickly in these periods, as neither of you paid attention, caught up in the interaction. After all, the discussions were very entertaining, between two Potions enthusiasts, and you gained a lot of knowledge from them.

Perhaps because you had succeeded to raise his esteem for you, Professor Snape, during class, would give you one of his infrequent compliments on your methods, or provide you with advice while experiencing in the club. Over time, you came to really treasure this exclusive ‘bond’, with such a cold and distant person. It would be a lie to say that in every class, your shared private discussions weren't the moment you were most looking forward to. You felt special.

You couldn't remember exactly when or how this routine started, it had developed naturally during the end of your fifth year and lasted all the way through to the sixth. However, you could remember bitterly how it had ended.

By the start of your final year at Hogwarts, a cold shoulder from Professor Snape had begun to creep between the two of you. He no longer commented on your work, or even dared to give you one of his rare compliments. It was simply as if you didn't even exist. This drastic change was particularly noticeable when you tried to revive another discussion after class, only to be rejected. 'I don't have time Miss Y/f/n', 'I've got too much work', 'Go, and revise', these were, obviously, bland excuses.

You had spent time thinking about it, trying to understand this radical change, but nothing could be found. The discussions had never overflowed on personal information, at least on his side, you - You had been more talkative. And again, nothing major, just simple information like your preferences in terms of flowers, cake flavours, and favourite literature. It never looked like it bothered him to listen to you, and yet strangely enough it seemed to interest him. But, in the end, most of the talk was about Potions, nothing odd that should have ended it all brutally.

In the course of your discussions, you had always expressed an interest in a career in the field, and Professor Snape had consequently supported you (in his own way) in this idea. In all honesty, having his approval really encouraged you. Until, once again, your senior year. While you had been able to get decent, if not perfect, results up to this point, the downfall continued when you saw your grades drop for unfair reasons. You had never witnessed his unfair grading, but when you became one of his victims, he was unforgiving towards your harmless mistakes. It was as if he was trying to ruin your future career as a potion maker.

All this unjustified hatred, discouraged you, but not to the point of giving up your aspiration, otherwise you wouldn't be standing there with the precious prize in your hands.

Was it some kind of revenge? Definitely.

Mentioning Severus in your ‘thank you speech’ was perfectly legitimate, he had given you more than anyone else in your life. But, even though you kept telling yourself that it was already 3 years ago and it belonged to the past, your heart was still broken, disappointed. And by his presence tonight, you were hoping to finally put an end to it all. Snape had witnessed your happiness, you had won, the revenge was completed. Time to move on.

However, it was easier to convince yourself than to apply it. It would be wrong to claim that you hadn't worked hard to impress him. Ever since that cold war between you two, no matter how strange it may seem, you couldn't get over it.

Sometimes, in your most private moments, you would close your eyes in the hope of being able to remember. The damp smell of the dungeons invading your nostrils, your teacher's deep voice echoing within the cold walls to your ears, praising you how well you had worked. His dark eyes focused on you, and only you. In fact, the intensity of his dark gaze could suffocate you, and yet you would not care. You desperately wanted to reclaim that relationship, as someone to whom he would give his precious time, where he would share his passions anew, a time when in his mind you existed and were important. And no matter how embarrassing it was, the idea of finding pleasure in these memories was enough to make your knickers wet.

At the time, you had convinced yourself that you were not holding any affection regarding your Professor… Another fine lie from you, obviously. It had taken a few years to come to this conclusion, to get out of the denial of this forbidden love. But now it was clear and explained a lot concerning your addiction and pain. The feeling of anticipation at the end of each lesson, the way you would pour your soul into the subject in the hope of receiving a ‘compliment’... Or simply the way you kept seeking for his attention, even after years. Nothing about this behaviour was appropriate, regardless how hard you tried to maintain the classic student-teacher relationship, on your own.

Perhaps Snape had even realised this, explaining the sudden cessation of your individual time together.

And even though, with hindsight, you should have felt guilty, you couldn't throw away that attachment. It was as if he had put a spell on you, that the lack of contact with him since you graduated from Hogwarts had reinforced that love.

But today was different, it was your revenge, your mourning over this period of your life.

The sound of the camera flashes snapped you out of your thoughts. The lights blinded your eyes for a moment, and you blinked frantically to regain your sight. Hoping that the pictures would look nice on the magazine...

"Well, congratulations Miss Y/f/n, we hope to see your Potion soon on the market amongst our merchants. I can’t wait to taste it, as you have suggested." The interview ended on this note, and the journalists dismissed themselves to make room for those who wished to thank you or congratulate you in person.

Thus, you were greeted with a new wave of questions, of praises, mostly it was older wizards and witches who were attending the event, and thus more 'experienced' than you in Potions. Their words tasted like hypocrisy, but you accepted everything with a polite smile. You actually enjoyed the attention, although deep down it was a particular Potions Master you were looking for, so it all went over your head. After a few moments you managed to escape from the conversation that had been built around the right to use the Felix Felixis at the Ministry's work, to get yourself a glass of alcohol from the buffet.

The taste of alcohol eased your nerves, rejoicing in the moment of calm you just gave yourself after all the attention you received. But the moment was short.

“Miss Y/f/n. How fortuitous to find you here." A voice commented sarcastically on your presence at the bar.

There was no need to look up at the person speaking to you because you already knew who he was. His deep voice was like a melody, a music composed by the finest musicians of this world. How, Merlin, you truly missed it…

“Professor Snape- Hum, or should I say Severus now that we are colleagues?” You answered him a little too smoothly for your taste, One drink and my anger is already forgotten? I need to get my act together!

“Snape will do, we are not direct colleagues. Let's keep some formality.” He replied somewhat distantly. Ouch- Years did not seem to have quieted the hatred he had against you.

You had not yet looked up to him, postponing the moment when you would be blessed with his physical presence. But you could see from the corner of your eye that he was pouring himself a shot glass of what seemed to be a fire whiskey.

"I must say that I am surprised that the award was given to you tonight... However, it would be wrong not to congratulate you." Severus began slowly, as if preventing himself from saying too much. “But…”

“But?” Your voice cut him off, a mixture of excitement and sheer joy at the thought of receiving praise from your dear Professor. This special praise you had been longing for.

"But-” He sighed as if you had annoyed him, “I object to the fact that my teachings have led you to produce such a grotesque Potion."

If your eyes had been glued to your glass since the beginning of the conversation fearing to feel butterflies in your stomach at the sight of Severus, you suddenly raised them, eyes wide with surprise. And in your stomach, anger. How dare he humiliate my work like that?

However, you were at a loss for words. He hadn't changed at all, he hadn't even made the effort to wear another suit for the event. He remained the same man as when you left him. Your eyes fell on his face, he had a neutral expression, as if his hurtful words were the most well-deserved ones. His eyes were on you, but because of the dim light and his dark pupils it was impossible for you to discern any judgement within. Otherwise, his hair was still the same length, falling gently over his shoulders, soft… His hooked nose made him look sterner than ever, and the crease between his over-frowned eyebrows did not seem to have increased.

He was still the same man, the one you were so fond of, and that made it more difficult.

But it was as if you two had evolved in two different time spaces. It had only been two years since you left Hogwarts, and it was certain that the occasional times you ran into a former classmate, they all had trouble recognising you. Obviously, you have grown in maturity through your work. You were no longer a young girl, you were a woman, a lady, with stature and respect. You were even certain that if your name wasn't mentioned at your prize-giving, Severus wouldn't have known who you are.

"A grotesque potion?” You took back his words, insulted, “You know perfectly well all the work that lies behind it. I explained it in a briefing for the association. You must have read it, right?" You tried to hide the irritation in your voice.

"I read it, of course. And although I must admit that it was all a tremendous amount of hard work... All these efforts, for such a clownish result, is disappointing."

You couldn't help but stare at him in disbelief. You were supposed to be the one to get your revenge tonight. And here you are, in the shoes of the student you used to be in your last year, being jeered for your hard work. His words were harsh, and perhaps because they came from your professor, they hurt you badly.

"The mere fact that I am the one who taught you everything is even more terrible." He added nonchalantly, bringing his glass to his lips.

You remained quiet, thinking of all the things you could say to him. After all, he was no longer your instructor, Severus no longer had superiority over you. What can he do now, if I snapped at him? Expel me from Hogwarts? Perhaps, it was the moment for you to confess everything that was weighing on your heart. How his coldness and distance had made you miserable.

"I thought it was only fair to thank you in my speech." You retorted, "But as far as I can see, you don't even want to be associated with me anymore, even as a mere tutor. Your hatred of me, I don't know where it comes from, but it's all unfair. This was supposed to be my special night. But now you've ruined it.” You hesitated before speaking again, “Like you’ve ruined my seventh year at Hogwarts."

Severus’ face remained as neutral as ever, but in his posture you felt a kind of irritation, he was caught off guard by your curt reply. Well, he must understand that I won't take his nastiness easily anymore.

However, you took no pleasure in giving him this answer. You had imagined many scenarios about your reunion... You had hoped that he would apologise, show that he felt sorry for having been cold to you, and in the more realistic scenario simply shake your hand, congratulate you and that was it. In no way, had you expected that he would remain so hostile.

A heavy silence fell between the two of you. His lack of response bothered you further, so you grabbed your glass and finished it straight down. "I'm going to get some air, if anyone is looking for me." Your voice was less angry, as your throat tightened dangerously, poised to burst into tears and it was slightly audible. It was a disaster.

You took your trophy with great care, the only thing that gave you comfort, and left without even bowing to Severus. You were never going to see him again in your life anyway.

The evening of the association for Potions makers of Great Britain (or simply those with an interest for the discipline), was held in the large manor house of the current Chairman. After escaping from the hall where the main event was taking place, you looked for a way out to the garden. Your heels clicked on the marble floor, echoing in the various empty corridors. The laughter and voices of the party began to fade with each step you took.

You were getting away from these jealous and condescending people and above all, from Severus. Good, you didn't feel like crying miserably in front of everyone. Your hopes were already destroyed, your ego wasn't going to be the next crime. After a moment, you spotted a windowed door leading to the backyard and quickly rushed to open it, taking a deep breath of air in desperation.

Stepping out completely, you were pleasantly surprised to discover the lovely atmosphere. The garden was well tended with bushes of various flowers and the grass was green and healthy, while lanterns lightened the path leading to the depths of the garden. You were caught up in the sense of peace and quiet that it gave you, feeling much more comfortable on your own.

It was summer, late August, school was beginning soon, work was about to restart and the merchants would soon be back in business. But it was already late, the moon was already high in the sky, almost full, and the stars shone brightly in the country sky away from London's city lights. The air was a bit fresh, but cold enough to get your mind back in order without freezing in your evening gown, which was quite revealing… But still elegant and pretty.

Venturing into the garden you finally found a bench to settle down on and think about what just happened, alone. Your eyes lifted to the magnificent starry sky before you, and its darkness made you think of Severus... The way his pupils were fixed on you, the image replayed in your mind... Over and over. You wanted to despise him for his behaviour, he had broken your heart! Not to feed your already distracted mind with lusty thoughts. Did he, at least, appreciate the sight of me in this dress? Your mind began to wander in a dangerous area, and you needed to stop right now.

Severus had been nothing but spiteful, he hadn't changed for sure, whether it was physically or mentally. And yet... You couldn't hate him in the slightest. It all seemed wrong on his part, as if he was forcing himself. Pushing you away.

You sighed, it was truly a disaster, you were frustrated with Severus, with yourself. Tonight was about revenge, moving on was the main mission and now you were fantasising all over again, like the flame of your love had been rekindled.

A tear rolled down your cheek from sheer frustration, disappointment in yourself. Then one tear broke into a silent cry. Were you doomed to love a man you will never see again, who is out of reach and seems to be loathing you? Put like this, it was as if you enjoyed suffering.

Now, you had no desire to return to the house with the other members, the possibility of running into Snape again and worsening your mental state, made you dread the prospect. Great, he had won and definitely broken your heart.

It was decided, you were going to stay there, with your trophy in your arms and with a bit of luck you will be able to leave unnoticed by floo powder. The plan seemed reasonable.

But fate seemed to have decided otherwise.

You jumped when you heard someone cough to get your attention. You were so deep in thought, your eyes fixed on the sky, that you didn't hear anyone approaching you. Your little moment of peace had been ruined, and you frowned as your eyes fell on the culprit. Severus’ brooding silhouette in the darkness of the garden lived up to his Hogwarts reputation as a bat.

You sniffed, "What are you doing here? Go away. You've already hurt me enough, there's no need to make it worse, I heard your nasty comments once already." In your pathetic state you asked Severus rather rudely to leave.

There was a small silence before it was broken by his voice, "Are you crying?"

You couldn't make out his face, so you concluded that he couldn't see yours either. You hesitated between telling the truth or lying before answering, “Why do you care…?” Your voice was weak, in no way hiding the truth.

“I asked you a question, Y/n” He persisted.

Hearing his voice pronounce your first name, as he used to do when you were in private conversation, made you weak in the knees, much more than you would have liked to acknowledge.

"I, hum... Yes." You replied, sobbing quietly. Resistance will only make things worse.

"It's a wonder you've managed to make a respectable place for yourself in the business, with such a weak mind." But unlike earlier his voice was gentler, firm, but gentle. "I've talked a bit with some of your fellow peers, people who have been around you for the past few years. Supporting you in carrying out your work… Believing in this project of yours.” He paused for another moment.

You didn't know what he was getting at, confusion all over your face. The people you had surrounded yourself with for work were not in attendance tonight. They were mostly former students just like yourself, who had attended the advanced Potions class. If they were absent tonight it is because in their research of Potions, unlike you, they had not managed to produce a viable solution.

In the darkness, you discerned him taking his place beside you on the bench. The warmth of his body spreading over your arm, allows you to evaluate how close you were to each other. And the answer was easy, very close. You could smell the light scent of his fragrance, a bit musky, the bare skin of your arm was grazing against the thick fabric of his frock coat, and it was a miracle that he was still able to breathe under all those layers in this warm weather. You noticed that it was the first time he was so close to you, usually he would keep his distance. His desk or the potions station had always been a well-respected barrier between the two of you. And thus, it made you a bit timid.

"Well, talking…” He spoke sarcastically to rectify himself, “I’ve exchanged letters with them. Checking on my former students, those you are working with now. Ensuring that everything was going well for you." He emphasised the last part of his sentence.

And Severus doesn't need to amplify his words, for you to understand what he was implying secretly.

Severus had checked on you, taking news through his letters over the past two years.

Each of his words hit you straight in the heart, making it pound faster each time. You thanked Merlin for the obscurity, because between your tears that must have drenched your makeup and the crimson spreading over your cheeks, the sight must be pretty dramatic.

"Why didn't you send an owl directly to me?" Your voice was still weak, but your tears had ceased. You ran your delicate hand over your cheeks to remove the remaining tears.

You heard Severus sigh quietly at your question. It took him a while to answer, as if he was tortured to answer honestly or lying, hesitating in the same way you did a few moments ago with his question. “It’s complicated.” Severus opted to be vague, "In any case, I've got nothing but praise for your work or even your person... They like you just the same as they did back at Hogwarts."

You didn't know if your mind was playing tricks on you by wanting to romanticise everything, but in his voice there was a faint hint of nostalgia. Severus' note brought a smile to your lips, "I'm glad to hear that, I appreciate them as well. At least they're not hypocrites like everyone else tonight..." Your honesty seemed to catch what sounded like a quiet chuckle from your former Professor.

"I must grant you, Y/n... That my words were harsh against you." Severus' voice regained its usual firm tone, "But I must confess, that such a potion, with such utility, surprises me coming from you."

That was what you guessed, his form of apology, and you accepted the way it was. "It is true that in my youth I never showed any interest in Healing Potions. What interested me the most were Poisons... But Amortentia is a poison like any other, in its own way, and research can lead us to expand our minds, can't they?” The fact that Severus knew perfectly your preferences in the area, made it easier to explain. "And then, with hindsight, I'm proud that my invention helps people, rather than killing them."

Severus nodded quietly, indicating that he fully understood the meaning of your words, as you had hoped he would. He seemed to remember all the information you had told him about yourself three years ago. That made you more than happy.

“‘Sweet juice’, that's how you named it?” He spoke with sarcasm, gently mocking.

It was your turn to sweetly chuckle, “No! I had originally named it 'Aquae dulcis', from the Latin ‘peaceful liquid’... But for the promotion, I was advised to change the name to a more sales-oriented one, which would fit better with my image as a lady.”

"I was wondering why the name doesn't match you… I've got my answer." He sounded somewhat relieved, "Many people have mentioned the taste." Severus sounded less reticent over your Potion, it was even if he was aware of the feedbacks that were provided in order to boost the pre-sales.

"Ah- yes, the taste... That's what gives the potion its reputation for being arousing." You sighed a little embarrassed to talk about this with him, “Unlike many Potions, with a disgusting taste… Mine is sweet. The liquid drips slowly down the throat, the taste hooked up everyone wishing to take it. The feeling is strange to describe, and actually I can’t… Like a flame, it all burns, it all gets on, the throat-burning sensation is taboo.” You added the last part of your sentence in a whisper due to the embarrassing nature of your language. It sounded sexual, you must admit.

Again there was silence and you wished you hadn't said what you revealed about this special taste, fearing that you had gone too far and brought your former teacher into equal discomfort.

But he answered with an unexpected thought, “I’m curious about the experience.” You caught your breath surprised, not even realising that you had stopped for a moment out of fear, "No potions so far have managed to ease my nerves. The Draught of Peace made me feel like I was too tired to continue working properly, so I stopped years ago. And if there's one time when I'm extremely irritable, it's at work, or when I'm grading papers… Especially when I grade the papers.” It was as if Severus was 'justifying' himself for wishing to try it. But deep down, some peace would only do him good.

"Only a few drops then, otherwise you'll regret the tiredness you got from the Draught of Peace when you'll feel aroused during your teaching." Even yourself was surprised by the bold words you used.

Thankfully Severus took less time to answer than last time, "Of course. I'll be careful. I'll give you a personal feedback on my impressions over the next few days following the start of term."

"Send the owl directly to me this time, it would be unfortunate if anyone found out you had an 'uncomfortable issue' because of my Potion." You laughed softly, clearly more comfortable around him. You were both adults now, fellow colleagues in the Potions discipline, you have the right to tease him about the unwanted side effects.

Well, unwanted for Severus’ case. You knew that many were looking forward to taking bigger doses... Precisely to get horny.

“I will Y/n,” He answered in a tone that seemed to be almost as amused.

“So… You want it, you want some Sweet Juice?” You ask him, hardly believing that you were asking Severus Snape, your cold former professor, if he wanted a stash of your own (arousing) Potion.

"If you don't mind, as it will only be sold on the mid-September market, if I understand correctly. I will, of course, pay for anything you may want to send me." He firmly says,

You shook your head sharply, "Absolutely not, I'll send you these for free as a thank-you. And before school starts, so everything will be ready for you to face those annoying and incompetent first years."

Severus sighs, a mixture of exasperation and relief. Exasperation because you were strict about him not paying you for anything, relief at the idea of finally having a solution to calm his tense nerves. “Stubborn as ever, I see. You may have changed physically, mentally you’re still the same.”

His little statement had the power to make your cheeks even more flushed. So he noticed that I had changed… That I’m now a lady. “Thank you, I guess?” You had no idea how to reply to that.

"That's a compliment.” He clarified for you, “You are, indeed, now… Excuse my choice of words- a pretty woman. But besides your appearance, you are blossoming in what you always dreamed of, with a remarkable career start. It's a good thing you've kept parts of yourself intact, fame must not go to your head. But you are a reasonable lady, I know everything will be fine." It was Severus' turn to be a bit awkward with his words.

His compliment went straight to your heart and seemed to soothe all the pain you had felt over the last few years. However, in his tone, Severus sounded as if he wanted to keep his words strictly formal, as he had always done even in your deepest discussions in the past.

"Thank you Severu- Hm, Snape.” You hated how easy it was for you to say his first name, when he had just corrected you a few moments before. However, he didn't correct you this time, letting that minor error slide.

You indulged in the peaceful silence that settled between the two of you. The way the conversation had progressed was comparable to the ones you had in the past, if not more comfortable. Two enthusiasts discussing about their favourite subject, trying to understand each other's opinion with respect and interest. Obviously, a formal one, Severus always maintains his distance from you, as if he was always your Professor and couldn't afford to be more. Your hopes were not high on a potential romance with Severus, he was older, your former teacher, mysterious… In the end you know nothing about the man and his job was keeping him busy all year long. However, a friend would be a good start… A rather affordable hope.

In the end, when Severus opted not to act cold, it was as if there hadn't been a rupture in your relationship. The chemistry had returned back in a flash. It made you bitterly regret those three lost years... Besides, you still had no idea of the exact nature of his past harsh attitude. Maybe even tonight was just an exception and the question will never be answered.

However, if Severus ever decided, as he had suggested with his impressions, to exchange letters, perhaps with time you would find the courage to ask him. Now, it would be a bad idea and would ruin the calm atmosphere.

"Maybe it's time to get back to the party..." Severus offered, his voice not exactly enthusiastic about joining the festivities again as well, "The others will wonder when they notice our absence."

“Right, It would be unfortunate if they started to wonder about our connection..." You laughed lightly, mocking his constant worry about being paired with you. Severus huffed, outraged.

He stood up, and in the half-light you saw him offering his arm to you, like a gentleman. You took it without hesitation, linking yours to his.

"It's been pleasing tonight…” You spoke quietly, as Severus escorted you back into the manor.

He inhaled shakily before answering, "Yes, I agree. And hearing from you, - personally - is always preferable. I hope this will last in your future letters."

You smiled at his words, "Obviously, Severus." There was a deep fondness evident in your voice. This time you couldn't help it, saying his first name felt right, and he didn't correct you either.

The October leaves had just fallen, the soft light with its morning rays of sunshine was reaching into your office. The scenery was quiet, peaceful even. And even though you had no reason to be in your office this early, you were waiting for a special occurrence.

Sweet Juice' had been on the market for almost a month, at various shops in Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley, and sales were more than encouraging. In fact, it was a real success. Some minor stock-outs caused even a panic among the sellers when they couldn't satisfy their demanding customers. Everyone was talking about the benefits of your Potion, and how it changed their life.

The money you received was considerable, allowing you to take a break. After two years of hard work, you deserved it. And a new solution cannot be invented that easily anyway. So your days were pretty uneventful, sometimes you were occupied with checking in with the producer, the one you had trusted enough to share the secrets of your mixture, and the sales. Otherwise, most of your days were spent taking care of yourself, enjoying life and, above all, waiting for Severus' letters.

Currently in your hands, the last letter you received, already dated from the previous week. The other letters, which numbered five, were neatly folded and kept in the first drawer of your desk. Severus' handwriting was as elegant and delicate as ever, and you took great comfort in receiving them. The content was kept formal, but somewhat ‘casual’ or ‘friendly’. Which was a good development.

The letters were quite brief and mostly structured the same way. Severus would write about his thoughts on Potions, then about his days at Hogwarts, and finally he would reply directly to the contents of the letter he had just received, making his comments on your daily life.

In each of his answers, you could tell that he was making the effort to maintain the relationship despite the distance. When the first correspondence started, you were quite surprised to see his owl on your windowsill within less than a week. You were pleasantly surprised, expecting to receive a response within a relatively long delay. To be honest, you weren't expecting this much from him, because you know how occupied he is.

Your eyes lingered on the contents of the one you held in your hands.

Dear Y/n,

Thank you for the new batch of Potions you have sent me.

I would like to use it sparingly, addiction would be regrettable. So I take precautions, even though the peaceful effect it brings me is always efficient. Being able to sleep properly is, I must confess, a luxury I had not enjoyed until recently. And it's all thanks to you.

I would say my days at Hogwarts are bearable. Work is draining, as always.

I hadn’t found a moment to read the book you recommended. I will try to make up for it before my next answer.

However, I am glad to hear that you are taking the time to have a break. Don't worry if the days can be boring, and you miss work, you need it. Do not become like me, please.

Yours faithfully,

Severus Snape,

You had lost count, you must have read the contents of the letter ten times already. In fact, every letter you received from Severus was read more than once. It was a forbidden pleasure, but seeing his words specifically directed at you, gives you butterflies in your insides.

But, you put your mind at rest with the fact that they were just letters and nothing more. It was less severe than when you were seeing him daily, in your student days. It was impossible for Severus to even guess the depth of your feelings towards him, when the only contact the two of you had was a piece of paper and a few words. You weren't likely to offend him or make him feel uneasy with your feelings towards him. So you were living your affection for this man to the fullest in the privacy of your own home.

Leaning back in your desk chair, while your mind wandered over Hogwarts’ dungeon bat, you heard a tiny clatter against your window. Looking up, a sweet smile came to your lips. Your hands folded the current letter you were reading, folding it carefully and storing it away before standing up to retrieve the new one you had been expecting.

Severus' owl was just like him, black plumage, piercing eyes. The only thing they did not have in common was their sweetness. When you opened your window, you were immediately greeted by a warm hooting.

“Hey, I hope the journey wasn't too long.” Your voice was almost too mellow for just an owl, and your hand gently stroked the top of its head as you greeted back. With a smile, you carefully untied the letter from its grasp. Once done, you put the envelope on your desk and collected grains to feed the owl. The owl pecked into the palm of your hand, now used to this small ritual. A hoot of gratitude indicated that the mission was accomplished.

"Return safely to Hogwarts." With a last small pat, you gazed at the black owl as it flew off into the distance, back to its owner.

Returning to your desk, you opened the envelope carefully and unfolded it. You were surprised to see that the content was longer than usual, twice as long. You didn't remember that your previous answer was that interesting to deserve such a detailed reply... Thus, you hurried to read it.

Dear Y/n,

I fear I haven't kept my promise.

I think I underestimated the side effects of your Potion, and this past week I've ‘suffered’ the consequences. A few drops was the dose I set myself to respect every night before going to bed, following your advice and the instructions for its use. Alas, after a particularly difficult day, I wanted to experiment with a higher dosage. I don't need to tell you in detail what it did to me, I think you've already guessed…

But I must, at least, keep our initial agreement, so if you don't object I will give you a report on this new experience. For the sake of the profession.

The usual few drops prevented me from being able to experience in its fullest, the unique taste of the potion's effects. And I must say congratulations, never in my life have I tasted anything so sweet. The description you gave me a few months ago has stayed in my mind since, and I must say that you were right, nothing can describe how it feels. Heaven? Maybe. On that night, I reached heaven.

I was starving, I was out of control (or so I thought). I was almost unable to bear it, and then, it was time to awaken the sleeping madness in me...

The hardest part is, I can't blame the Potion. It's almost cruel, but as you said, unlike with Amortentia, I had full power over my body, I wasn't intoxicated or bewitched. I succumbed to my impulses on my own. And… It feels good.

This followed, of my own accord, a kind of addiction. The nights prior to this uneventful ‘accident’ I made a habit of taking these larger doses, for my own pleasure… Thus, I would conclude the entire experience to be more than enjoyable.

In the future, I will try to find a balance to avoid abusing what is more than good. For the time being, I'm still enjoying myself.

However, even if your potion is a miracle, it does not take away all the work I need to complete.

And I must say, a thought came to my mind. In fact, Dumbledore was the one who suggested it to me years ago. And even if I was reluctant to the idea at first... The prospect feels less unpleasant if you are the one taking on this duty.

Not wishing to interfere with your precious break, would you like to be my occasional assistant?

You have the right to refuse, I wouldn't blame you.

If the answer is positive, the first period I would wish to ask for your help would be mid-November, before the first exams. And that's for a few weeks, maybe for two, more or less.

Naturally, you'll be welcomed at Hogwarts with all the necessities, a private chamber and a paycheck. But I'll give you the details in due time.

In any case, I will respect your decision and will look forward to receiving your answer, as I always do.

Yours faithfully,

Severus Snape,

PS: I trust you to keep this information confidential.

Your eyes frantically scan the contents of the letter, there is a lot to take in. Your cheeks were flushed, your heart was pounding, the first major piece of information was that Severus was using your potion for his own sexual needs. And while you detected some reserve in his wording, he had admitted it without shame in that letter. You would never have thought Severus capable of speaking in such a way (at least, towards you), even if his words were formal, they were nonetheless heavy with meaning and bold.

You couldn't help it, your mind perfectly pictured Severus. At night, alone, under the pleasurable effect of the Potion. In your fantasy, his face was focused, his eyebrows a bit furrowed, some sweat rolling down his forehead because of the heat. A few strands of his hair would fall into his eyes, but his attention was so focused on the intense pleasure he was experiencing that he couldn't care less. Was he the type to moan? Or to remain silent? Or… Maybe the cravings were so powerful that he would bite his lip to keep quiet.

At first, his hands would temptingly wander down his body, slowly, carefully, intoxicated by the rising pleasure. Touching himself was a pleasant torture, and as he said himself in the letter, he was unable to stop. Knowing how the potion would affect his senses, his skin must feel sensitive, leaving burning trails with every brush of his fingers over every inch of his skin, over all erogenous parts of his body, making him lose his mind.

The way Severus’ hands would desperately clutched his already erected manhood, dripping precum with impatience, hoping to reach an orgasm, maybe even one or several. Seeking frantically for friction to satiate his craving, his hips bucked, his hand tightening to increase the contact pressure. The sight must be sumptuous.

You wondered, for a moment, about the thoughts Severus might have to stimulate his mind. Was the Potion working enough to turn him on? Or was he seeking greater satisfaction with some dirty images? This left you with a real question. And you realised that even after all this time, you knew many things about him, but not at all in such an intimate setting. Which made sense, since most of the time you were his student... The first glimpse you had of this point was the letter.

And, you're the only one who knows his nightly routine. He trusted you, beyond the fact that you were the creator of the Potion who helped him satisfy his lusts. The mere idea to be in the confidence of this secret, made your knickers wet.

And even though it was already a lot to process, this was not the only exciting news. Severus asked you, himself, to be his assistant. He even suggested it, because the idea of working with you sounded appealing. You. Of all people, he thought about you.

You didn't question it, it was decided the moment the information reached your brain. You were going to accept. And how could you turn down the offer when the mysterious and reserved Severus Snape admitted on his own, that he was eagerly expecting your letters…

After years of longing to feel that special feeling again, in one letter Severus had given you a lot.

Returning to Hogwarts was a hope you never thought imaginable. However, a week ago you arrived with a suitcase packed, ready to work. The stone corridors, the moving stairs and even the staff had remained the same. The only change was that instead of sitting at your house table for dinner, you were now placed between Flitwick and Snape. And of course, that most of your time was spent in the dark, damp dungeons of the School brewing Potions, or grading papers.

Unlike what many might think, working alongside Severus was much more manageable than they might have thought. In any case, with you, he trusted your work enough not to question it. In fact, when you arrived, you were quite worried when you saw the dark circles under his eyes, which were more prominent than you used to remember. And when you became his assistant, you understood why. Severus was a perfectionist, and his teaching methods were all tailored to ensure the success of his students. So your tasks were simple, like preparing the exams, the basics for the Potions that were going to be taught, correcting papers, arranging the ingredients... And while you were just assisting him, within a few days he had managed to find more rest. Something that made you feel better.

Apart from that, the working conditions were quiet and calm. Severus was conversing with you during the simplest of tasks, he didn't seem as tight as usual (in private, at least), what you guessed were the effects of your Potion. At times, it was simply work performed in a comfortable silence. But between you, there was no longer any sign of discomfort or coldness. It was as if it had never happened, actually.

Well, until today.

"I wonder..." Severus began his sentence thoughtfully, his eyes focused on the cauldron in front of him, his hands busy chopping up ingredients, "How I used to find time to work and talk to you, back then."

You had a similar task, but unlike him you looked up in surprise. Severus rarely mentioned the past between you, or even the letters you had exchanged the past month. "I don't know either... That's why you stopped in my seventh grade, right?"

You didn't particularly want to mention the subject that had become nearly forbidden with time, namely your cold war. But you felt that under the current circumstances, you were old and mature enough to take it on yourself. Even though you might never get any solid answers about his past behaviour.

“Y/n, we both know that’s not the truth.”

Your eyes were still fixed on him, and you didn't know if Severus was too focused on his Potion to realise the implication of his words, or if he really wanted to discuss the issue once and for all. But you weren't going to miss your chance, trying to summon all your courage. "Oh- Really? Those are the excuses you gave me, would you like to tell me the truth then?" You answered casually, trying to play it cool despite your racing heart. Years of seeking the answer, it was as if what haunted you most was finally going to be removed.

However, the answer did not come as easily as the conversation had started, Severus stopped in his tracks and raised his head to you. His expression was hesitant, or perplexed, you didn't really know. "It was best for us to stop there, that's the real reason." He replies vaguely, his eyes fixed on your face where you stand across the Potion station.

You frowned, you were an adult now, you could handle and accept the truth. Severus, on the other hand, was being vague, as if putting a finger on what had happened was forbidden. "Are you implying that in our professional discussions, we were going down the wrong path?" You didn't want to tempt him, but getting the truth out of Severus' mouth was more complicated than you expected.

"Our discussions were nothing professional." He sounded a bit irritated with himself, indeed, the subject was sensitive on both sides. He put a lid on his Potion and dried his hands with a cloth, "We're done for the day, you can leave me." He waved you off, putting an end to the conversation.

But you stayed in your place, it was as if your feet were frozen to the ground, you couldn't leave. "You are the one who started the conversation. Don't be angry with me." Your voice was quite composed, you weren't afraid to face him. And just like at the event, he seemed stunned by your tone of voice.

You put the tools down and placed a lid on the Potion in the same way he had just done. "You cannot cut off the discussion and asked me to leave, Severus. You don't know how I've suffered my entire last year because of this, because of you. You can at least look me in the eye and give me a proper answer.” You sighed, as he tried to keep his eyes from looking at you. Perhaps because of guilt.

"Severus, we can sort this out, and go back to the way things were. But I need an answer, to move on. To be free of this guilt. Did I do something wrong? Was I bothering you so much? Tell me…" You hated how your voice was almost begging. But with every word you said, you could feel it, it was like he was re-building that distance between you. You didn't want to lose him, not that quickly.

"Severus... Please." You finally decided to move, taking a step towards him, the atmosphere in the classroom had totally changed. But even if the tension was heavy, you weren't going to abandon him, not this time. He did not move as you approached him, however, his face was tense. You hadn't seen him this cold in a while.

"I can't answer you. Things wouldn't be the same after that.” His voice was harsh, but not offensive. He sounded frustrated with himself, “But… If you want an answer, I must admit I'm not sufficiently secure to reveal my past intentions."

His words were odd, leaving you confused. The enigma that was Severus Snape was impossible to understand no matter how much time you were spending by his side. Can he give me an answer or not?

Several times your mouth opened in an attempt to answer, but nothing came to your mind. The problem seemed to be stuck. It left you upset. "I... I want an answer." Your words were both hesitant and confident, the statement was, frankly, a bit silly.

This seemed to amuse Severus, who laughed silently in mockery, warming the atmosphere. “Why are you so…” He paused for a moment as if hesitating, then at last he gave in, "Endearing?”

His words slammed into your heart, leaving you baffled. But you didn't have time to answer, Severus resumed speaking just as soon, "But, if I can manage to calm myself, maybe I'll be able to talk to you. Does that please you, Y/n?"

You hesitated, understanding what Severus was implying behind those words, 'relaxing' meant taking a few drops of Sweet Juice. And as much as you wanted to keep a respectful image of Severus, the last words written in his letter about its use stayed in the back of your mind. But, how can I refuse?

"Fine.” You agreed, nodding slowly.

Severus seemed somewhat reassured by your agreement, the walls he was starting to build around himself to push you away, were falling down again. It was his turn to approach you, offering his arm. A habit he'd adopted with every walk you shared at Hogwarts. You took his arm, the gesture had become natural, Severus added, "Follow me."

With that, you walked after him. Severus led you, in the utmost silence. Your heart was pounding, you didn't know exactly what to expect. The path he was taking, staying in the dungeons of the school, made you realise that he was inviting you into his personal quarters, which did not help your state of mind. Every step you made, was a step towards the possible truth.

Your recent exchange had been unclear, Severus was just as confused by his attitude as you were, you could tell with the look on his face. Torture between two separate decisions: to hate you back or accept what was happening between you two.

Still in silence, Severus finally arrived, unlocked the door to his quarters and let you in first. It was the first time you had entered, and the surroundings seemed oddly familiar. Everything reflected Severus, with its dark tones and simple, yet elegant furnishings. Your eyes rest on the many books, all meticulously arranged, and then, a little farther away, on the bed. It was impossible to miss the three vials filled with the purple liquid that you had conceived yourself, one of them was nearly empty. The sight of Sweet Juice beside his bed only made your heart flutter, as if it was confirmation that everything he had described to you was, indeed, true.

"Well, sit on the sofa. I'm coming up with what's needed." Severus breaks the silence as he removes his cloak, stopping your dirty thoughts dead in their tracks.

"Yes, of course." You nodded, quite flustered, and you did what you were asked as you sat down on the couch, next to the fireplace and the bookcases. Your eyes followed Severus' actions as he made his way to his bed, lighting the fireplace with his wand as he passed.

He came back with a new bottle of Sweet Juice in his hands, and sat without discomfort at your side. "Do you use it daily as well?" He asked you, an undeniable curiosity in his voice.

"Um... No, I just tested it on myself a while ago before I submitted the notice. I have no use for it." You looked at him blankly, you didn't know what Severus was trying to find out with his question, "So, it was only for professional purposes." You added rather quickly, in case he wondered if you too were finding sexual satisfaction through its use.

"Well, this will be the occasion to taste it again then." His hands opened the bottle carefully, and with some skill showing how familiar he was with its use.

You looked at him, confused by his words, "I don't intend to take it, you said you were the one who needed it to speak honestly."

"I think it's wiser for you to take it, to learn the truth. I don't want you to get mad at me." He replied with his calm voice, "Don't you trust me?" He raised an eyebrow with his usual expertise in the motion.

Of course you trusted him, the question didn't have to be asked. And right now, with all the tension in your body from the pressure of the whole situation, you had to agree. He was right, it was wiser if the both of you were in the same state to discuss. "Fine, but only a few drops..."

Severus nodded, "A few drops will be more than enough."

You reached for the vial, but Severus placed his hand on your chin before you could get your hands on it, and directed your face in his direction. “Open your mouth, please Y/n.”

His eyes were fixed on you, you felt like melting under his gaze, so intense was it. You couldn't ignore the intimate intensity of the situation, your cheeks were starting to burn. The scenario was far more pleasant than anything you could have imagined in your dirtiest dreams.

Without even adding anything, you parted your lips for him. Severus seemed satisfied with your willingness, and put the eyedropper to let a few drops fall from it. A promise he kept. And even though it was only a few drops, the taste burned in your throat, taking effect as soon as it was swallowed. It was addictive, sweet… Divine. A tickling sensation settled in your body, you felt perfectly fine, as if your body had never felt any tension.

Severus watched your every reaction, his hand still on your chin, you felt like your skin was burning under his fingers, "Well. You seem to be reacting well."

He withdrew his hand and this gesture left you with a feeling of need. Your eyes never left him for a second as you watched him perform the same operation with himself. His previously tense face, softened in an instant. To have Severus so effortlessly relaxed was quite an exclusive sight. He trusted you enough to be so vulnerable without shame, in front of you. It made you smile.

"Y/n, I've been intending to talk to you about this for a while, it weighs on me just as much. I'm sorry for the way I acted," Severus began quietly.

Hearing him apologise was strange, he was such a proud man. It made you happy, because while he was under the effect of the potion, he was still aware of what he was doing or saying. He was not controlled by the Potion, in front of you there was a sincere and apologetic Severus. One of the many facets you were starting to find out about this very mysterious man.

"I apologise as well, I wasn't always straightforward." You matched his gentle tone,

Severus shook his head, "You were not the problem, I handled the situation very poorly. It's all my fault, I hurt you." He put his hand over his face, ashamed, "When, in fact, that's all I wanted to avoid... It haunted me, until I saw you again a few months ago. I wanted redemption, to make sure you were fine without me... But, I’m selfish as I am taking a role in your life again,” He sighed hopelessly, “There's still this guilt in me.”

Hearing Severus speak with such regret, made your heart grow fonder for the man, you couldn't fault him. He had suffered the same pain from his choices, he acted in order not to lose his teaching position, in order to not deprive you of a possible 'happy' life. And even if the Potion worked miracles, guilt and pain couldn't be erased. You wanted to reassure him, to remove this pain from him, to leave it in the past. "Severus, I only wish to understand what I did wrong..." You whispered, your eyes focused on the buttons that fastened his cutaway coat.

The more minutes passed, the more the Potion worked through your body. The sensation was odd, like a kind of ache, but it was unmistakably delightful. This only served to reinforce your self-consciousness about the situation, your body tickled everywhere, straining, trembling, longing to be close to him.

"You have done nothing wrong... As the days went by, my regard for you changed. Your radiant smile, the way your eyes brighten at my every word, the way your perfume intoxicates me when it stays in the classroom, your delicate hands working with agility... All of this, I should never have noticed, and yet, I couldn't help but feel captivated. Charmed because of what you were, and still are, in fact."

He slowly pulled his hand away from his face. But, you didn't want to leave him in his demise, so you laid your hand on his as he lowered it, encouraging him to continue. "I wasn't blind, I knew the feeling you held for me. I believed it was for the benefit of the both of us. But after rejecting you, I was terribly missing you. Inside me, it built up a terrible guilt…” He paused for a moment before concluding, “And without realising it, I was feeling the same way about you."

Severus gently takes your hand in his, as if you were a delicate flower, or would disappear at any moment. His gaze is now focussed on both your joined hands, "Since, I haven't stopped thinking about you, night and day. Seeing you again... Was a breath of hope, I thought impossible. And even though you sounded different, like you were angry with me, I couldn't help but appreciate you. I soon realised that despite all my efforts, pushing you away a second time was beyond me... Beyond my strength."

He intertwined his fingers with yours, "You can hate me, yell at me. I hurt you and yet, selfishly you're here with me, instead of enjoying what life has to give you. I’m older, grim, and stern. I don't deserve you."

As he confessed, what you were focused on, was the heavy pounding of your heart ringing in your ears. The intensity of his emotions was heartbreaking, as you listened to him.

Your body's reaction to his was overwhelming, everything seemed like a raging fire that neither of you wanted to quench. The sensation of his own skin against yours only made it burn harder, leaving you with an insatiable urge of need and want. Your body knew what it wanted, the heat started to build up in the lower part of your stomach.

"I- Severus… I'm sorry that I was angry with you, when you were trying to do the right thing. I had no idea how you might be feeling on your own. But today, everything has changed, I’m not your student anymore.” You spoke with all the determination you could muster to prove him wrong, “And I don't care what life has to offer, if you are older. I know what I want. And it’s you.”

“It's only been a few weeks since I've been back with you, and I've never felt so happy. I feel alive.” Your cheeks flushed hot at your blunt words, “And to be honest, the club, the award, Sweet Juice, I did it all, to get your attention. I wanted to be special to you again."

"Come," Severus uttered in a deep, rumbling voice. His hand, the one that was already holding you, pulled you towards him, and his other hand guided your hips as he gently settled you on his lap, straddling him. The way your body easily accepted his request, was a reflection of how much you wanted to be with him, to be close to him.

"I wanted to move on, to forget you, but it was impossible. But nowadays, as I am closer to you..." Your eyes fell on his face, Severus seemed to be listening to you with such intensity, that coupled with this sudden intimacy caused you to speak in a shaky breath, "I burn and my body is feeling new things, and the intensity is only growing, nearly out of control. I can't think anymore, you're always on my mind…- I just want to be close to you, like I've always hoped." Your voice died down near the end, admitting your deepest thoughts. You were nervous, the aching sensation started to get on your nerves, overflowing with desire for the man in front of you.

His hands gripped your clothes, as if to remind you that he was indeed there, by your side. You were taken aback by the violent wave of emotions that flashed through his eyes. Severus had said nothing after your own confession, but there was no need for him to speak in order for you to understand. His eyes were speaking for him. Need, lust, desperation, want, longing- And most strikingly, love. His hands clasped your face, leaving you no choice but to lock your eyes with his. You couldn't escape the impact of his emotions, of the intense waves crashing over you nearly suffocating you. And the truth is, you had no desire to avoid him.

It was as if time had stopped, his beautiful face, his lovely hands, the wildness in his eyes, and the way he made you feel was beyond description.

"I love you," He exhaled as his thumb stroked your cheek. It felt like a weight was being lifted from his chest,

Your fingers found his shoulders, pressing into the soft fabric of his coat, “I love you as well,” You answered, the same weight disappearing from your heart.

The affirmation of your feelings towards him seemed to ignite something new in Severus. His thumb went down to your lips, running it over them, "You know, I thought about you as my assistant not only because you're the smartest, most diligent and serious person I know to handle the task perfectly," He spoke in a low grumble that made your whole body quiver, "But also because every night as I took a stronger dose of that delicious elixir you conceived, I always find myself thinking about you. I found satisfaction only when I thought of you.”

He sighs, "I must admit that if you're here, it's also because I couldn't bear to keep all this to myself, I had to confess. I wanted to see you again, terribly."

“I’m here Severus, I’m here for you and only you.” You replied hurriedly in order to reassure him.

He took a deep breath, your words seemed to have reached his heart, "Maybe it's a bit premature, but I should ask you."

It sent a ripple of delight through your entire body, increasing the desperation you had to be against him, “What do you want to ask me, Severus?”

Your question, perhaps somewhat naive given the situation, brought a smile to his lips, “Would you like to make love with me?” The question was phrased extremely graciously, contrasting dramatically with the ferocity of his eyes.

Your body shivered under his powerful stare. Your reply was obvious, and yet in the warmth of his body, in the puddle of intensity that Severus was bathing you in, you were at a loss for words. He looked at you like a hunter ready to chase down his prey, your consent was all he needed for him to pounce on you. It should have worried you, but behind his raging stare were years of self-restraint and pain. You felt more than special, being loved by such a cold and distant man made you feel like you were the only one in this wide world, the one and only for him.

You couldn't make him wait any longer, it was torture for him as much as it was for you. So you nodded, silently at first, then you found the courage to finally voice your need, "Yes, Severus, I do."

He smiled again, it was a delightful sight to see Severus smiling, and you took a moment to observe him as if to commit the image to memory. It was so infrequent, that you were pleased to know that you were the only one to be blessed by it. He was perfect, you could do nothing but kiss him. Passionately, freely, desperately. There was nothing anymore to stop you from doing it. You tasted him, setting all your senses on fire. You licked the inside of his mouth, as his tongue linked with yours in an intoxicating dance that only the both of you seemed to know. The scent and taste of him captured all your senses, and you couldn't stop humming with delight as it resonated through your chest from the pleasure of kissing him.

In that first kiss, you feel it all.

Both of his hands clasped your face tightly to keep you close to him as your hands trailed through his long hair, down to his neck. The warmth that radiated from him made your flesh flush, your heart pounding so hard in your chest that even Severus should be able to feel it. He tasted like heaven.

He skillfully guides you, allowing you to get lost in his adoration. One hand gently grasped your throat, while his other hand travelled from your cheek over your neck, down to your waist where his arm snaked around to press your body against his in a secure embrace.

Severus didn't break the kiss, as he stood up, carrying you in his arms. Your eyes were closed, allowing you to get completely absorbed in the feverish kiss, but you knew he was heading for his bed. The next moment, your body found its place against the soft fabric of his sheets, enveloping you once again in his wonderful manly scent. Wrecking you, in the most pleasing ways possible.

You moaned into his mouth as your fingers tugged his hair a bit tighter, Severus growled at your action, searing your whole being from you body to your soul. You were desperate for more, to see him, to touch him, to feel him. Your clothes were simply a suffocating barrier that separated you from Severus. Your irritation didn't seem to escape Severus as he broke off the feverish kiss you two were sharing.

You finally opened your eyes, to be greeted by a dishevelled and flushed Severus. You were both out of breath, panting. However, he was quick to lay another kiss on the exposed skin of your throat. Sweetly, lovingly, small kisses from the tip of his lips teasing you, all dripping with desire.

"Love, you're perfect," He hummed against your neck as he gently nuzzled his nose against it to inhale your fragrance. You were like in heaven, your blood was running through your veins, your stomach transformed into butterflies out of worship for him.

His hands ran along your body, before undoing the button on your skirt. Your thighs were released quickly from the constraint that your clothes provided you as he dropped the first piece of fabric on the floor. Your hands hesitantly passed over his upper body, your fingers delicately unfasten the buttons of his coat. Once done, your hands grabbed the lapels of his coat to let it fall over his shoulders, quickly meeting your skirt on the floor.

Severus certainly was consumed by an insatiable urge, never getting enough of you. His lips never leave you, trailing against your jaw, nibbling your earlobe. His warm breath left your sensitive skin tingling with delight. Your hands were slightly trembling as you began to reach for his shirt, while his hands reached for the rest of your clothes with utmost care.

The clothes that had been a painful barrier, began to strip from your bodies, slowly, teasingly. Falling one by one on the floor. Severus leaned on his arm as he took a few steps back, your breath caught with worry and missing his warmth. His eyes roamed over your body, in an intimidating powerful manner. You had never felt so vulnerable and exposed, only covered by your underwear, his intense gaze left a heavy feeling on everything you could offer him.

However, you didn't have time to think for long when his lips captured yours. “Perfect,” He whispered as his eyes met yours. With burning cheeks, you averted your eyes. You could not hold his gaze, so much the intensity of his emotions caught your heart. His pupils were dilated, too wild, too fiery.

Your reaction left Severus laughing in a deep breath, "You really are more lovely than anything I could have imagined. My mind didn’t do you justice, love.” The gentle title he gave you made your heart beat faster, and as your hands were pressed against his chest you sensed the intense pounding of his as well. Both your hearts were beating in perfect tune.

Your hands began to undo the upper part of his shirt, releasing his neck from his stiff attire. You were still shaking, but proceeded nonetheless. There was only a layer left before you could see him as vulnerable. Severus waited, letting you take all the time you needed to finish. And the next thing you knew, you were pulling his shirt off his shoulders in the same way you'd done before.

You marvelled at the sight in front of you, your breath caught in your throat at the sheer beauty of Severus, his broad shoulders, his pale pearly skin, his strong arms were now at your total disposal. You gave yourself a moment to appreciate the one you've craved for, over the years.

"Perfect," You whispered with the same adoration he had for you, your fingers spread over his bare skin, temptingly. You were amazed at the softness of his body despite his strength, he, who held himself so rigidly in his daily life.

"Not as much as you, love," Severus left a warm kiss on your cleavage and his hands found the clasp of your bra as your hands found down his trousers. He removed the rest of his clothes at the same time as you.

Your skin was flushed, your breaths quick and uneven with anticipation. It's a good thing you had taken a few drops of Sweet Juice, otherwise you would have been a nervous wreck. This allowed you to handle the whole experience with confidence, coupled with your trust in Severus, it was pure bliss. And this must have been the case for Severus, because behind his expert strokes, he seemed a bit unsure with himself.

Your skin burned under his every touch, letting the fire spread over your skin down to your trembling, hot, insides. You were wet, swollen and soft. Severus sat on his knees, between your legs. The action left your body screaming with desperation, arching with anticipation for more, for him. Until now, you had not dared to lower your eyes to the level of his girth, but now it was time to get acquainted with what was about to enter you. Your breath was taken away at the sight of his long, veiny and erect manhood. That’s going inside of me?

"Love, I'll be gentle with you," Severus sensed your apprehension immediately, his hands gently resting on your knees to spread your legs leaving your body on high alert. He leaned forward, and placed a first kiss on your jaw, then another one on your breast, before his mouth wrapped around your already hard nipples to sweetly suck on it.

You didn't know if you'd taken a sufficiently large dose of the Potion for it to play on your sexual sensibilities, but you gasped. The feeling of his soft lips over your most forbidden body parts was exhilarating, your insides tensed. Your breasts were sensitive, responsive to every lick he gave. You were blown away by the way your body fit to him, catching his slightest touch. And as if he wasn't satisfied enough with himself, he moved his hand up from your hip, running teasingly along your skin to find your nipple, toying with it, pinching it. You couldn't help but moan, the sensation strains you again, leaving you longing for more. Your mind failed to follow, a wave of pleasure overtaking your whole body. Everything felt heightened, the sound of Severus' sharp breath, his tongue, his touch, his scent. Even the cotton of his sheets was seemingly intense.

Severus let out a long, deep growl from the back of his throat, and it made your whole body shudder. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, ready to welcome him. He understood the sign, but continued to whisper his words of adoration, of love for you. How he had dreamed of this for years, that he didn't want to be apart from you anymore. His words that met the hollow of your ear, made you feel in a whirlwind of emotions, cherished and safe. You held on to him, your arms reaching around his shoulders.

He wanted to slowly devour you, until your rational thoughts were consumed by pleasure.

“Sev,” You breathed out a long, deep moan as his finger slid inside you. You were soaking wet at this point, drenched for him. His finger stroked your insides, his thumb brushed against your sensitive bundle of nerves while his lips lingered on your throat, placing numerous small kisses.

“You are perfect,” He hummed out, right by your ear, “Perfect for me,” His nose dragged along your skin, in the hope of finding a new spot to kiss. He pressed another finger into you. Your legs tightened while your insides softened further. The stretching of his fingers was astounding. “You are the only one for me, I love you,” His words shattered everything, all the common sense you had in you. You wanted him to ruin you with his love. In a manner as violent as the emotions you had for each other, giving him everything, everything you ever had.

Removing his fingers, your eyes fell on his hand as it darted back and forth between his legs. You gasped as his delicate hand folded around the girth of his manhood. "Love, I'm here. It's going to be fine. Tell me if you don't feel well, I'll stop," he hummed softly as he laid back against you, pressing his body over yours. You nodded, and his lips found yours anew.

You felt his body lowering, and the next instant, he was sinking inside you. You hissed from the pleasure that suddenly caught hold of you. There was no discomfort, no pain, your body adapted, moulded itself to him. Your body was being taken by Severus, and everything at that moment, finally being one with him, felt right.

“Look at me,” He ordered you gently, holding himself up with one arm, ready to move. When your eyes met his, you were immersed in the depth of his love. You felt calm, in heaven, as you were shaped to accommodate him. He was the only one in this world, especially when he was looking at you with such worship.

“Good,” He smiled in satisfaction when you complied. Your eyes were hypnotised by all the love he bore you. He began to draw out, slowly. And as with your skin, your insides were just as sensitive causing electricity to run through your body, sending a shiver down your spine. His gaze intensified as he began to move a bit faster, his movements always precise and well controlled, making it more intense.

Catching his breath, Severus kept praising you, “You, are, magnifi-cent,” He growled in a low tone, between thrust as you moaned out his name in a barely comprehensible manner. You find satisfaction in being filled and stroked, to be loved in such a carnal manner, it was intense, overwhelmingly intense. He was everywhere, he was everything to you.

“Sev-, Severus, I love you!” Your voice was slurred, your mind was unable to form a coherent thought, and yet you felt the urgent need to confess your love all over again. At your words, he quickened his pace and buried himself inside you, over and over.

You were consumed by him, by his love, by your love for him. You were his, and he was yours. Entirely, irrevocably, ineluctably. There was no other way. Severus was breaking everything you owned, and it felt right. With every push, with every pull, with his loving hands, with his loving words, with his hungry breath, he was breaking you.

“Please,” You pleaded for him, a moan escaping through your sore lips. His movements became powerful, irregular, hasty. As if to satisfy you as much as possible, even if he was exceeding all your wishes, pushing your mind to the edge of depravity with each of his thrusts.

“Love,” He growled in a feverish manner, as if he had been entrusted with the most valuable mission possible, to please you. He shoved in so deeply that your eyes rolled back and watered from the sensation of being nothing but completely filled. You back arched in pleasure, welcoming the emotion in its fullest.

“Awh-” You gasped as he started to pace harder, faster. Your legs were quivering from the pleasure, your lungs burned from your moans. He held onto you tighter, in order to be able to dig into you with more vigour. Over and over. It was relentless. His need for you became beyond desperate and engulfed him into the same depravity.

“I love-, you,” He moaned darkly under his gruff breath, “I can’t-” He growled this time, in a low rumbling. His movements became irregular, erratic.

You kissed his neck, inhaling his sweaty scent and the taste of his skin stirred in your mouth. “Me too-” You whispered, in a rather dark tone, meeting his love and distress at the same time.

“Y/n-!” He growled, and after a split second, you felt him growing within you, as his whole body tightened, hardened. His cock shifted faster inside you, pounding against your inner walls. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and moans his release before his movements come to a slow halt.

Ripples of heat mingled with the throbbing of muscles and the warmth of the skin inside you. You held him close and marvelled at the sensation of your orgasm, of being filled and being enough for him to reach such a fierce release. To be enough for him to love you, to be enough for him to be so intimate with you.

You caught your breath, you were in a state of pure bliss. The last waves of pleasure take over your body, making the pleasure last longer. Severus withdrew from you, leaving you with a longing that he satisfied by taking you in his arms enjoying your post-orgasm state.

He placed a kiss on your sweaty forehead as he affectionately snuggled you pressing your body against his. After the intense encounter you'd just experienced he still longed to feel your burning skin against his. “I love you,” He said it again, as if he needed to prove it to you, but you knew by now that his affection towards you was wrenching.

"I love you more," you lay your head against his chest, letting the sound of his heart lull you to sleep as it only started to calm. His soft laughter vibrated through his rib cage,

"I doubt it, love, but this is not the time to talk about it. Tomorrow is another day, a day when I can finally enjoy you without any rules or barriers," Severus sounded enthusiastic, he pulled the blanket over both of your naked bodies and took his wand to stop all sources of fire from making any light.

His uncharacteristic lively tone brings a peaceful smile to your lips, you are now the one that makes Severus eager to wake up in the morning, to carry on with his life. He was your source of happiness, and you were his.

After years of trying to understand everything between the two of you, you were now in his arms.

Peaceful.

Loved.

#severus snape #snape content #severus snape x reader #severus x reader #snape x reader #severus snape x you #fanfic

2K notes · View notes

xoxodiluc · 1 year ago

Text

step up your game .ᐟ ❨ 17+ ❩

arataki itto ( genshin impact ) x female! reader

genre nsfw, oneshot

summary arataki itto, one of the troublemakers in your university, needed to pass his test in his failing subject to be able to play this year's football game. so he begged for you, the smartest girl in his class, to tutor him. you never thought it would lead to something more...

cw modern! university! au, sub! reader, oral (male receiving), dirty talk, size kink, unprotected (STAY PROTECTED!)

wc 1.4k+

notes simpy wrote this cuz i was thirsting over itto ok bye / let’s ignore the fact this was in my drafts FOR A YEAR.. i basically forgot how to write smut lol

ao3

"No."

Arataki Itto almost dropped to his knees. No? "W-What?"

"I won't tutor you."

"Why?!"

You told yourself you wouldn't get involved with the Arataki Gang who were notorious on the campus for being... well... troublemakers. Kuki Shinobu was an exception, though, because she's your best friend. And she mostly stayed out of trouble. You never knew how she joined them, it just happened.

"I just... I have a lot of stuff to do this week." You said, opening your notebook to read the lecture for today's class.

You heard Itto sighing sadly, and you almost felt bad. Almost. "You don't have time to tutor me this week? Even just for an hour?" When you didn't respond, he clasped his hands in front of you, "Please! I'll do anything! I really have to pass this subject to be able to play the upcoming game!"

Okay, you lied. You felt bad.

Shinobu sometimes drags you to one of Itto's football games, and he was a good player. It would really be a waste for the team if he doesn't get to play in his upcoming game.

...You know what?

Clicking your tongue, you nodded. "Fine. Every 8 p.m. on weekdays at starting tomorrow."

He pumped his fist up in the air, "Woo-hoo! I'll see you tomorrow... Uh..." You tilted your head. "What's your name again?"

All you have to do is to do your best in tutoring Arataki Itto and hope to God he does well in the test. So much for not wanting to be involved with the Arataki Gang.

"This is the third time I've explained this, Itto." You pinched the bridge of your nose. You've been in his dorm for almost 2 hours now, and you had to be back in your dorm by 11 p.m.

"Wait, wait!" Itto shook his head vigorously. "Just explain to me one more time and I'm sure I can understand it!"

You sighed at the pouting look he gave you and stood up to get your water bottle from the table. "So why didn't you ask Kujou Sara to tutor you instead? She's smart." You asked, and Itto shuddered at the mention of her name. "...What's wrong with Sara?"

"Are you seriously asking me that...?! She's literally the most difficult person to get along with!"

You furrowed your eyebrows, walking back to the bed. "No she's not. I get along with her."

"Hah, right. Of course, smart people get along." Rolling your eyes at his remark, you continued teaching the math problem to him. After a few more explaining, he got the problem right.

"Hey, that's correct! Good job." You flashed him a small smile, and you could've sworn his eyes twinkled with joy.

"Really?!" Without any warning, he hugged you, catching you off-guard. "I'll make sure to focus really hard so I can get all 'em right!"

You get that he was happy about it... but...

You never thought his abs would be that rock-hard. Your clothed breasts were pressed up against his clothed abs, and you felt a weird sensation in your—

Y/N! Snap out of it!

"Uhh, you there?" Itto pulled away, looking at you with a concerned look, then his eyes widened. "Oh— Oh. Sorry, it's just when I'm happy I hug... people. Like when we win games, you know? I hug my teammates and I'm sorry if I—"

"It's fine." You chuckled, and there was an awkward silence until you spoke again. "Um, let's move on."

He nodded and answered the next question. Wrong.

"No, no, it's like this..."

And before you knew it, it was already 11 p.m.

“Thank you… really! I already think I’m gonna ace this test ‘cause of you!” Itto flashed a handsome smile, “Be safe on the way to your dorm, alright?”

You returned the smile, waving at him. “I will, bye.” Itto was about to close the door but you stopped him when you heard footsteps. “Wait.” Shit. Shit, shit, shit!

You completely forgot someone monitors the dormitories as soon as it is 11 p.m!

Itto pulled you into his room and closed the door. You leaned back on the door in distress, “Oh, I forgot about the dorm monitor. You can’t go back to your dorm any time soon…”

��No shit.” You sighed and looked up at him.

He looks… attractive. You were so focused on tutoring him that you never realized he was this attractive.

“Y/N?”

You came back to your senses, “Hmm?”

“I said, you can stay here till the monitor is gone. They’re usually gone by 12 a.m.”

You cleared your throat, nodding, “…Yeah… yeah.”

He chuckled, “Y/N? You okay?”

You nodded once again, “I am…”

“Then… why do you keep staring at me like that?”

“…Like what?”

“Like that.”

Itto was looking at you, and you couldn’t help but gulp at the way he was gazing at you. Archons… he looked so hot. What the hell? “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You walked past him and sat on the bed. “Guess I’ll have to wait… like 30 minutes or so.”

He turned, a smile on his face, “Wanna do something fun to kill time?”

All you could think about was him fucking you senselessly, trying to keep quiet so you don’t wake the others.

“Sure. I’ll tutor you some more.”

Tutor, my ass.

You were on all fours on Itto’s bed, his dick in your mouth as he stood in front of you. You wrapped your hand around the rest of his length that you couldn’t fit into your mouth, and looked up at him. He was biting his lip, grunting quietly.

“Archons, Y/N… Who knew you could suck dick so good?”

You didn’t know how it got to this point — You were tutoring him once again, but you couldn’t focus. You kept stuttering and Itto couldn’t understand you. But then seeing his hard-on… You looked up at him and he was gazing at you…

You both couldn’t resist each other.

Choking on his cock, he gripped onto your hair, hissing, “Fuck…”

Then he pulled your head away, the string of saliva connecting your lips and the tip of his cock. You looked up at him, breathing out, “Fuck me.”

Itto was still panting, and the side of his mouth curled upwards. “Yeah? You gonna be quiet while I fuck you?”

“Mhm… Please…” You whimpered, then gasped when he pulled you up and then pushed you down onto the bed.

He kissed your neck, his hand reaching for your wet clit and rubbing it. You moaned quietly, rolling your hips against his hand then whining when his hand pulled away from you.

"J-Just the tip, first..." You whispered and bit your lip, feeling the head gliding along your clit. "It won't fi— Agh!"

Itto covered your mouth with his hand, growling quietly as he carefully thrust into you. "I'll make it fit, don't worry."

Suddenly, footsteps were heard outside the room. You looked at Itto as he covered your mouth, and your eyes widened when he moved against you. “Shh. Don’t make a sound…” He whispered as removed his hand from your mouth and kissed you.

You couldn't help but clench around him and he groaned, pushing deeper into you. You moaned through the kiss as your legs wrapped around his waist. “Mhhf… O-Oh…”

He's so big that you could feel his tip touching your cervix, hitting it with every thrust he does. He pulled away from your lips as he fucked you harder, your moans coming out as silent gasps.

"Fuck, baby..." Itto whispered, gritting his teeth. "You like that? Does it feel good?"

You could only nod your head in response, afraid to talk because you might moan too loud. He let out a breathy laugh as he continued pounding deeper into you.

Tears filled up your eyes from the pleasure and you could feel the knot on your stomach as Itto went faster. "Mm— 'm gonna...!"

"Shhh, do it for me, baby. Come on."

Your body shook as your orgasm washed over you. He grunted once more, biting into your neck softly.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." And he finally pulled out, cumming on your stomach, "Fuck..."

The sight of your almost-passed-out figure on his bed almost made him hard once again, but he resisted himself. He fell next to you, letting out a contented sigh.

You closed your eyes, still panting. "I was only gonna tutor you. Not fuck you."

Itto laughed, caressing your thighs. "Too bad."

"So you're telling me you weren't at your dorm last night because you were at Itto's?" Shinobu gave you a disapproved look. You smiled sheepishly.

"...Look, it just happened, okay? What were we supposed to do while waiting for the monitor?"

Shinobu sighed. "So much for telling yourself to not get involved with the Arataki Gang."

396 notes · View notes

msnanu · 11 months ago

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Libertine 08 | JJK

Libertines put value on physical pleasures, meaning those experienced through the senses.

❧ Series Masterlist ❧

⏤summary ❧ He has a reputation for being the most promiscuous man on campus, and you, well, you are basically him in women’s pants. It will be the very first time that Jungkook is faced with someone who is gonna make him question his feelings and actions.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ f*boy jungkook x f*girl female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ some fluff, smut, mild angst, teasing and lots of sexual tension.

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language, NSFW🔞

❧ banner by: @dojakoo ❧

Hearing your own name, you forced yourself and took a step back, freeing yourself from Jungkook's strong grip. Your eyes were widened, and your breathing became loud, ragged, you swallowed hard and gazed up at him superbly. Your gaze was filled with arrogance and pride. Your mouth was slightly open as you cautiously pondered what your next words would be.

Jungkook narrowed his eyes on you. At first, seeing you trembling, Jungkook felt sorry, and a part of him regretted putting you in that situation. However, that last look you were giving him made him furious, annoyed.

He swallowed hard, getting up from the counter. His heart was racing, his face was hard. Dear God, how he hated being in that position. In the position of someone who had given in, somehow confessed.

Seeing you wet your lips to initiate some sort of response that he already knew wouldn't be decent, Jungkook anticipated.

“I see.”

It was the only thing he managed to say before his voice started to crack.

Jungkook was keeping a safe distance from you. Not so close so you could manipulate him and not so far away that you could escape.

Hearing his answer, you took a step forward and sought to place your hand on his arm.

“Jungkook,” you pleaded.

You seemed determined to answer him, not to let that conversation go unfinished, but whatever answer Jungkook got now wouldn't make him feel much better. He dodged your fervent hands, seeking his way out of the kitchen. That space was getting too small for all that drama.

“I don't care.” Jungkook said defeated. “And I don't wanna know.”

He turned away, hearing your footsteps follow him.

“Jungkook, wait.” You raised your voice, insisting.

Jungkook stopped halfway, standing in the center of the room. He thought for a few seconds if he should turn to face you. He knew that looking at you now could bring him to his knees. Despite all that drama, you were still the same Y/N who had caught his eye in the courtyard, the same one who had rejected him, who had slept with his friend, who had slept with him.

You had a certain power over him, which although it was painful for him to admit, he knew you disturbed him.

Thinking of his own well-being, Jungkook took a deep breath and continued his selfish steps toward the door. He couldn't give you a chance to explain.

Without turning around, with his hand on the knob, he said softly. “I can take you home now.”

He thought of adding a “if you wish” to the end of the sentence, but regardless of your will, it was his will that you’d go home. If he stayed one more second in the same room with you, either you would fight badly, or he would end up talking too much about how he feels about you. And neither of those two options sounded good to him.

He heard you scoff.

It was a scoff that filled the entire room, making it unbearable to be in. Jungkook didn't need to look to know that you were staring at him with probably the most arrogant demeanor you possessed and your face in disbelief.

In a matter of seconds, the mocking sound were replaced by your steady steps towards the door.

You didn’t understand him. You didn’t understand his feelings or yours. He is a certified fuckboy; you are just the same. His words were too difficult for you to process and even more, to believe. It was in your nature to not feel anything for the people you slept with. But who were you kidding? You both were way past that, even when you were denying it to yourself and him. Neither of you wanted to let your guards down.

To Jungkook's misfortune, your agility in getting through the door caused your cursed scent to leave an intoxicating trail behind. It was the purest scent of agony mixed with lust. A scent that made Jungkook want to take you by the arm and strip all of your clothes off, slowly so that you agonized, as he kissed every inch of your body, as he worshiped every inch of you. At the same time, it was a scent that made him sick to his stomach, that made him want to throw you out of his life for good.

You were intoxicating, venomous, and noxious. A real danger to his peace of mind.

Oh, dear God, how in that moment he wished he'd never met you, never looked for you, never crossed your path. Quickly Taehyung's speech about seeing you as a challenge came to his mind. He had indeed seen you as a challenge, something impossible that he would somehow achieve, but now that didn't matter, it didn't make the slightest difference, he already knew he had lost. And worst of all, he knew he cared for you, felt it in his bones, that he cared for you.

You had rejected him. At the slightest sign of affection that he'd let slip, you'd rejected him. Without even saying a word.

His thoughts were trying to organize themselves, trying to figure out a way to forget about you or at least forget about that shitty kitchen scene.

He watched you get into his car with the same boastful look on your face, your mouth healing into a fully disgusted pout.

The drive to your house was extremely torturing. Jungkook was physically uncomfortable. You remained silent, slowly your hard face turned into a soft, relieved face, which made Jungkook feel even more uncomfortable. You didn't look so angry anymore, it was like you felt…satisfied or more at ease.

Your breathing had calmed down and your body didn't seem anxious.

Jungkook felt hatred.

His eyes were so wide on the street in front of him that he could barely understand how he had noticed so many details of the girl next to him. With each turn that approached your house he let out a low sigh, his hands were eager on the steering wheel, it was as if the end of the world was coming.

Approaching your building, Jungkook began to swallow hard, his throat getting drier than usual. It was that old feeling of anticipation, but this time it had nothing to do with sex, and that was terrible.

He parked slowly and refused to look at you, even though his body was practically forcing him to. His eyes were trembling, practically begging him to look at you. His fingers drummed the steering wheel, crying out to feel the softness of your body. And his lips twitched, wanting to taste you.

You leaned on the car's gearshift and approached Jungkook. Again, your scent made him take a deep breath. In a slow and extremely long movement, you placed a kiss on his cheek, making him clench his jaw. It was a gentle kiss, without a hint of lust.

It wasn't an “I'm sorry” kiss, much less an “I care about you” kiss, but it was a kiss of resignation, at least that’s what he thought. It was as if you were telling him that nothing had changed, that he could look for you again. It was weird. The naturalness with you managed to sound so unassuming with just a simple kiss on his cheek. While his emotions were running high, his mind seemed to have no control over his body, you were there beside him, calm, serene.

In reality you were confused as fuck, you couldn’t understand why he was so upset. He didn’t even let you talk. You felt like he was constantly confusing you. One day he is rubbing in your face that he’s with Seulgi, the next day he is saying that he cares about you. How is it possible to believe his words? And if it was the truth, you really didn’t know how to handle it, you didn’t want to start overthinking about how he makes you feel, you were just fucking for crying out loud!

God only knows how much Jungkook wanted to look at you right now, wanted to turn and hold your face close, wanted to kiss you until he forgot why he was so pissed. Everything in that small space in the car seemed amplified. His blood felt even hotter, the softness of your lips against his face made him shiver, even the crackling sound of your kiss on his cheek seemed too loud.

With his jaw still clenched, Jungkook struggled to keep looking straight ahead, not an inch to the side. Despite every fiber in his body begging him to give in, he didn't want to, he already felt small enough next to you, he didn't need another reason to feel even worse.

When you slowly pulled away, he allowed himself to take a deep breath and loosen his grip on the steering wheel.

You didn't wait for him to look at you, with all the calm in the world you got out of the car and walked towards the entrance of your building. Out of the corner of his eye, Jungkook saw that you hadn't turned around at all. That situation was pure torture.

And there went another shitty weekend. For the first time in his life Jungkook was looking forward to Monday, at least in college he wouldn't have to think about you.

Absolutely everything he did reminded him of you. His bed had that fucking good smell, every part of his sheet smelled like that. The kitchen had few memories of your smiles, your kisses. The living room reminded him of the two of you lying together, teasing each other. It was the embodiment of hell on Earth.

You had made his own house unbearable to be in.

It was different for him to feel this way, to feel so affected by a girl, especially by a girl who was supposed to be just another fuck in his life. Jungkook couldn't say he hated that feeling. On the one hand it was exciting, dangerous, as if he were pushing the limits of his own body, on the other hand it was depressing, worrying, and extremely vulnerable.

All weekend his body begged for you. It was physically painful how needy he was for you, for your body. At the end of Sunday, he thought about calling you, he thought about going to your house, he even thought about relieving himself, but he knew it would only make him feel weaker. His ego hadn't diminished enough for him to humble himself for you, not yet.

As he made his way to the courtyard to meet his friends on Monday, Jungkook silently thanked God. He was... happy. Heavens, that was absurd. He couldn't understand how a girl could mess with him so much as to make him like going to college.

With hurried steps, he craved the company of his friends. He wanted to hear about Yoongi's weekend with some random girl, Jin's football bullshit, Taehyung's advice, even wanted to roll his eyes at Jimin, anything that would keep him from thinking about you.

It was time for the last class, he wanted to be in college, but he didn't really want to participate. So, it felt good to arrive for the final class. At least the professors wouldn't complain about his absence all morning.

Approaching his group, an incredibly familiar laugh emerged.

Slowing his steps, his eyes caught a small figure in front of Taehyung. With your hair down and shorts that barely reached mid-thigh, you were gesturing something that was making his friend laugh.

His other friends seemed engaged in their own conversations, but you and Taehyung were in your own little world. Your laughter was loud and joined together in unison, making the scene even more irritating for Jungkook. Your body was moving excitedly, your hair felt extremely soft as it moved under your shoulder, and your skin glowed against the sun.

He tried to swallow hard, tried to scold, even tried to blink to see if you were really there, but his body failed to show any stimulation. Despite your loud voices, he just couldn't hear the conversation, his mind was blank, a complete void.

“Son of a bitch.” He muttered to himself.

Finally, mustering some strength, his face turned into a sneering, incredulous smile.

Seconds later his gaze met Taehyung's, who was clearly not aware of the unpleasant situation you both had ended up in on Friday.

“Kook! I thought you weren't coming today.” Taehyung roared happily.

From that moment forward, all events were exceptionally planned by some superior divine force to mistreat Jungkook. He felt like the entire universe was plotting against him, punishing him for something he didn't know he'd done.

Oh, how roles had reversed, he didn’t even realize that he was feeling the same exact way that girls who slept with him used to feel afterwards when he ignored them completely.

Your voice fell silent. Your body slowly turned to face him, your hands were now down and all the excitement from before was gone. Your face was serious, impassive as usual, but with a hint of superiority. Looking at you from above, he could even feel a little better, but that feeling lasted seconds.

There it was just the two of you, there was no Taehyung, there was no one else.

“Don't you have your own friends to bother with?” The words came out bitter from his lips. “Or somewhere better to be?”

Okay, he is mad.

Before you could respond, Jungkook caught Taehyung's startled reaction behind you. His hyung was whisper-screaming what Jungkook guessed to be a “Dude, what the fuck?”. Taehyung seemed, at the same time, discredited at his friend's lack of manners and confused by his gratuitous rudeness.

“I actually do, indeed. I just wanted to talk to you today.” You replied simplistically, your voice low.

Your calm in certain kinds of situations should no longer surprise him, however, once again he found himself speechless. You were standing in front of him with your posture straight, exuding a degree of confidence that could defy even death. Your voice, though low, was extremely steady, and your eyes dared not leave his.

You were really a seductress, a kind of sorceress, who could at any moment wrest whatever you wanted from him.

Jungkook didn't want to talk to you, didn't want to hear what you had to say, didn't want to give you even the chance to manipulate him, but in some kind of twisted way he wanted to be in your presence, despite denying it to himself.

Struggling to hide his surprise, he simply nodded.

“What do you want?” He asked dryly.

A mocking giggle escaped your lips. “Not here, not now, Jungkook. I have class n-”

God, his name sounded like the most esoteric thing in the world coming from your mouth.

Annoyed by your laughter, he quickly cut you off. “I can only talk now, darling.”

What an asshole he is.

Watching you swallow, Jungkook couldn't help but smile triumphantly. That had been one of the few times he'd managed to make you uncomfortable, he had to be given credit. You huffed, looking at him impatiently. He knew you didn't like to skip classes, which made this scene even more fun for him.

You bit your lip, staring at him with disdain.

“Fine.” You gave in. “But not here.”

Once again, a smile played on his lips. For the second time since meeting you, Jungkook felt the upper hand. And this time, it had nothing to do with sex.

“Lead the way.” He said blatantly, making room for you to pass.

Before following you, his gaze met Taehyung's, who now seemed even more unhappy with your communication or lack of, should I say? Jungkook made a point of winking at his friend, desperately wanting to show he was in control, even though he knew a snap of your fingers would bring him to his knees.

For a brief moment, he felt bad for his friend. He knew that Taehyung was trying to help him, that all his mention of you had been intended to get him to finally "settle" with someone. But Taehyung didn't know you like he did, at least that's what he liked to think, didn't know that you could be a demon when you wanted to, that you'd already rejected him, that you could at any moment sleep with some other friend of his.

There were several things he would never admit to his friend, things that were part of his private insecurities.

Following in your footsteps, Jungkook noticed the people around them dwindling, as did the side conversations. You were taking him to the college garden, behind the athletic field. Your footsteps ahead of him were steady, loud, and he could see that your hands were clenching, as if they were trying to control their anxiety.

You didn’t even know what to say exactly. Since when do you have talks with your fuck buddies? You fuck and go, that’s the beauty of it, there’s no complications, no feelings involved, no ‘I care about you’ but somehow, here you are, about to have a talk with Jeon Jungkook and you are fucking anxious because this is not your comfort zone at all and worst of all, you know he has noticed it.

When you were a good distance away from the rest of the students, you stopped abruptly and leaned against the gym's railing.

The silence between the two remained for a very short time.

“So?” Jungkook asked, feigning indifference.

You took a deep breath, your mouth starting to mumble some things Jungkook couldn't understand. You were hesitating.

As helpless as you looked, he couldn't help but find that scene a masterpiece.

He took a step forward, teasing you. “Y/N?”

With his head tilted slightly, he felt he had invaded your personal space.

“I'm not here to apologize to you, Jungkook.” You said between a long sigh. At this point, it was obvious how uncomfortable that situation was for you. Your whole way of acting screamed insecurity, your feet were restless, your hands were clenched, and your lips were moist at an absurd frequency. “I just... I... You seemed distant when you dropped me home on Friday.”

Were you for real?

Worst of all, you actually looked serious as you spoke to him. Jungkook was so incredulous, how could you be so ignorant? Acting as if his behavior was something unusual for that situation. Which then again, for you it was unusual.

You couldn’t stop thinking how much of this is so weird for you and out of all people that you’ve slept with that he, the most promiscuous guy in the campus, is the one confessing that he supposedly ‘cares about you’. It’s hard to think that any of his words could be truthful.

Jungkook couldn't help but frown at you.

“Why do you care? As far as I remember, you don't feel anything for me.” He grinned teasingly. “Right, Y/N?”

Jungkook wanted to sound much more serious, cordial, tough, but the atmosphere at the moment practically begged him to be a complete asshole and use every mocking tone he possessed.

You were just a few feet away, your scent as always making a point of showing him that you could dominate him whenever you wanted, whenever you felt like it. The white blouse you were wearing was tight, which molded your body even more. The shorts you were wearing drew even more attention from his eyes to your thighs. It was a whole compilation of things that made him lose his mind just being around you.

To his misfortune, besides teasing him in the right measure, you also knew exactly how to deal with the kind of attitude he was having.

Before even allowing your face to transform into one of indignation, you forced yourself to return his smile.

“Right, Jungkook.”

Jungkook.

Thousands of girls could repeat his name and none of them would compare.

You continued, flashing an even more brazen smile. “What a spoiled man you are. Or should I say boy?” You took a step forward trying to intimidate him. “I’m not here because I want to apologize for leaving you without an answer.”

Watching you build confidence was quite a show for Jungkook. That's because on Friday you looked like the most helpless creature in the world in his house.

He enjoyed that.

“I’m here because our sex is great, and I don’t want lose it.” Your voice came out steady, serene.

Is it only for the sex, though? He was indeed the best sex you’ve ever had. But you were denied to see it as something more, even if your stomach felt weird every time you looked at those doe eyes. It’s just sex, you repeated yourself in your own mind.

A silly smile played on Jungkook's lips; his eyebrows involuntarily raised in surprise. He'd already lost count of how many times your sincerity had frightened him. He thought with time he would get used to it, but every time it was the same shock.

You kept your face relaxed, and your tone was extremely smug. You could defeat even the devil with all that arrogance.

Seeing that Jungkook had made no move to question you, you continued to tease him, unabashedly. “Are you mad because you were the first to give in?”

Your voice was now a whisper, almost menacing.

At that, he had to laugh.

It hadn't been intentional, but Jungkook just couldn't hold back the loud laugh that came to his lips. You both had a playful smile on your faces, but it was clear that yours was more confident. Even with Jungkook's mockery you held your ground.

“You know so little about me, Y/N.” He leaned forward, forcing you to take a step back.

A mocking sigh rose in the air. “Too bad for you, boy, I know everything about you.” You narrowed your eyes and tilted your head, looking straight at him. “I know how much you hate being in this position, how you love when women come after you, when they get jealous of you. I know how much you enjoy the way Seulgi acts when I’m around you.”

Jungkook swallowed, trying to maintain his composure.

He was definitely not expecting that one, those details, that mention of Seulgi. You were playing to win while he was just having fun, it was time to turn the tide.

The pair of piercing brown eyes were still looking at him, as if challenging him, as if begging him to fight back.

“For someone who didn’t want to be bothered by me that day in the cafeteria, you’ve been paying awfully a lot of attention to me.” One more step forward, the idea of depriving you of avenues of escape made him more confident.

Two steps forward, Jungkook brought your body into the fence that surrounded the sports court. He didn't touch you, but the pressure he put on you made you step back. Your breathing became audible, and your mouth parted, trying to control your anxiety.

You licked your lips, mustering up all the confidence you had to challenge him again. “Did you really think I would sleep with you without first arming myself against your schemes?”

An inaudible “oh” escaped him.

He had no way of knowing if you were telling the truth, if you were trying to disguise how much you paid attention to him, or if you had actually done a little “research” on him. However, he had to admit your qualities. You knew exactly how to get away with that kind of teasing.

He liked the way you continued to amaze him, even if it was used against him.

Bracing one of his hands on the fence behind you, Jungkook leaned forward so that he was almost leveled with your face. A faint smile played on his lips. There was room for you to move away from him, but you remained still.

“You’re one of the smartest girls I’ve been with.” He confessed, closer to you.

He expected you to blush, to feel intimidated, even to curse him, but you looked at him with disdain.

“Should I feel praised?”

Bitter.

Finishing your sentence, Jungkook hurried to continue his. He didn't want to make room for you to feel comfortable. His other hand went to the fence, and the space between your bodies became ridiculously small. He could feel your hot breath hitting violently his cheeks. His eyes went straight to the slightly reddened lips in front of him.

Always beautiful.

“The smartest, dedicated, thoughtful girl I’ve been with.” He pressed his lips together, watching closely for your any small movement. “It even makes me feel a little bit better about giving in.”

The last part was definitely a lie. It was more likely to snow in hell than he admits that he'd be glad he'd given in before you. He knew his life with you would be easier if he would just admit that you had messed with him, that he had an interest in you, but that would force him to be vulnerable, to let his guard down, definitely something he had no interest in. Same as you.

Plus, it was almost his graduation year, he's gonna manage to maintain his reputation as a rake for a little longer. It was just patience. It wouldn’t be you who would ruin his entire legacy.

“Is that how you do with all of them?” The breath of your voice snapped him out of his little reverie.

Your breath was excessively hot and smelled faintly of mint.

You had a small smile on the corner of your mouth, and your face was slightly tilted up. He was inches from your lips, one simple movement and he could end this argument.

“I don’t care about all of them.” He replied convincingly, even if he was a little confused. Were you referring to other girls? Could that be a hint of jealousy? He would like to think so.

Your voice instantly retorted him. “Do you always use this husky voice of yours, this heartthrob pose and this womanizing charm?” You licked your lips, and he couldn’t control his smirk.

Jungkook was still annoyed with you, even though you were there flirting with him, you still rejected him. However, he would never back down from one of his advances, at that moment, you were there with him, alone, restless, desirous, he would surely be able to handle the rest of “your” situation later.

“Is it working?” He asked and one of his hands went to your face.

You didn't even flinch when his thumb started to caress your cheek, didn't even try to pull away, no sound of complaint came out of your mouth. Instead, you moved your face a little to find the warmth of his hand.

Jungkook leaned his body further against yours, just enough to find physical contact.

“You can pretend you don’t feel anything for me, Y/N,” His thumb rubbed your lips, and he heard your gasp. “But we both know I’m the one who leaves you wet, who makes you shiver inside, just aching to be touched.”

Motherfucker.

Involuntarily his body rubbed against yours. That had been an asshole move of his, and he knew it. Embarrassing you like this in “public” wasn't his intention, but it was as if he needed it, he needed you to once feel dominated, the way you dominated him most of the time.

He could have thrown it in your face at any other time, but in a private place it wouldn't have the same effect. Any student or professor could walk by and see you both, and then it would be the famous Y/N falling under the spell of the stallion Jeon Jungkook.

With the contact of his finger on your lips, your mouth was slightly open. There was a small air of outrage, but what prevailed was desire.

“Son of a bitch.” You whispered in his lips. Your voice wasn't as steady as before.

His hand left the fence and cupped your face.

Instinctively your hands gripped his wrists, not trying to restrain them, but surprised by the contact.

He chuckled. It was funny to see you uncertain, hesitant.

His thumbs pressed lightly against your chin, and now your lips were at the same height. Jungkook couldn't help but notice, for the hundredth time, how beautiful you were. With your face upturned, your dark locks fell further over your shoulders, your jaw was perfectly shaped, your lips were extremely soft under his previous touch, and your eyes were mesmerizing, flickering between his eyes and lips.

With a simple advance, Jungkook brushed his lips against yours. It wasn't exactly a kiss, it was subtle, tricky. When he met your mouth, his fingertips felt the tiny hairs on the back of your neck prickling.

“I forgot to mention, one of the prettiest too.”

Fuck. He’s gonna be the death of me.

Your lips parted, letting out a low moan. The small space was enough for Jungkook’s tongue to slide in to meet yours.

For a long moment he kept his hands on your face, holding you as if his life depended on it. Your hands loosened around his wrist, and Jungkook took advantage to advance further on you. Your body was now pressed against the fence, your tongue was lost between his lips.

Despite the limited space, your body shifted anxiously beneath his. One of his hands went to the back of your neck, and he could feel your lips curve into a small smile between your kisses.

When his lips finally left yours, his other hand traveled to your waist, gripping you and pulling you even closer to him. His mouth trailed kisses down your chin and down the length of your neck to the beginning of your collarbone.

“Jungkook.” Your voice cracked.

It wasn’t a groan, but a warning. He couldn’t tell if it had to do with the two of you or the people who might pass by. However, as soon as your hands wrapped around his neck, he preferred to believe that you weren't worried about what people would say if they saw you there.

As the grips on your waist intensified, your mouth innovated in new curses. Meanwhile, Jungkook's lips took advantage of your entire neck, with kisses, light bites. You were completely at his mercy and didn’t even make a move to stop him.

In that small moment, in that corner of the college, you were entirely his.

His face rose back up to kiss you again when he found a goofy smile dancing over your lips. He didn't know if he should have seen it, it looked more like it was your own personal smile, one you only gave when he wasn't looking.

From that smile alone he could have sworn you were in love with him, but then he remembered your face when you'd rejected him in his kitchen.

Ignoring those thoughts that insisted on returning to the surface, Jungkook collided, with some violence, on your lips. Taste of you never ceased to be good, your body never ceased to be soft, and the moans that escaped during your kisses never ceased to be musical.

God, why did you have to be so frustrating? Why should you have rejected him? Why were you so good? So... sublime? So… made up for him?

He knew he wouldn't make it. The thoughts were everywhere, haunting him every time he thought of you, every time he touched you. It was as if that moment in the kitchen had defined the relationship you would have forever, whether as fuck buddies or something else . He hated to think of the idea of having you as “something else”, but he hated even more the idea of not having you at all. Jungkook’s mind was a mess. He didn’t even know what he wanted.

His hand came down to your thigh, squeezing it tightly, he wasn't thinking straight. A desperate groan crept between his lips. You were panting loudly, your tongue trying to get lost between his to prevent louder sounds from coming out.

As soon as his hand went up to your inner thigh, seeking to find your core, a smug giggle followed by a light clap of hands interrupted him.

Fuck.

Your hands instantly left his neck and went to the shorts you were wearing, making sure there was nothing beyond the normal exposed. Your face heated up and you quickly turned around, hiding in the crook of Jungkook's neck.

Slowly, calculating every move, Jungkook released your body and turned to face the figure who was cheering both of you. He wore his most arrogant face, ready for anything. He could fight anyone, argue, accept punishment for breaking the college's code of decency, he could even have an argument with Seulgi if he had to, but he couldn't face the man who was standing in front of them with a shameless smile.

“So, is that what I pay you college for?” The voice was serious but light.

You have to be kidding me.

Jungkook took a deep breath, his body rigid. “Dad.”

Jungkook swallowed, feeling all the skin on his body prickling. God, of all the people he imagined might be there watching him and you, his father was the one he least imagined, and also the one he feared the most. Not because of his severity, – he was not scared of his dad – but because of his petulance.

Every cell in his body was practically begging for this to be a dream, for him to magically wake up and be in his house, alone.

Hearing the word “dad” come out of Jungkook's lips, made you slowly lift your frowning face, you seemed to gape. Your eyes frantically analyzed the whole scene, trying at all costs not to miss any detail of the two men in front of you.

It was quite a show for you.

“What- What are-” Jungkook stuttered.

Without even getting a chance to finish his sentence, Jun-Yeol interrupted him. “I'll give you two a moment to settle down.”

His voice was so calm. Terrifyingly calm.

Jun-Yeol nodded cynically, moving a few feet away from where you and Jungkook were.

Jungkook blinked a few times, still hoping that this was a dream and that he wouldn't have to put up with his father in five minutes.

Slowly, delaying each move, he turned to face you. Without quite understanding why, a feeling of shame swept over him. He didn’t know if it was because his father had caught him in a “compromising” situation or because you were witnessing that scene.

When his eyes finally met yours, he was surprised. You weren't bothered or at least, you didn't seem to be judging him, you just looked a little embarrassed. Your cheeks were flushed, and your lips pressed together, holding back laughter.

“Well, that was… weird.” You sighed, defeated.

You seemed incredibly resilient. A small smile playing on your lips as your hands frantically untangled strands of your hair. On the other hand, Jungkook was a nervous wreck. Nothing there was comfortable or funny. His serious face contrasted with the serene face of the girl in front of him.

Jungkook took a deep breath, looking at you in disbelief.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was low, almost a whisper. Jungkook was noticing that more and more the word “sorry” was appearing on his lips, and that realization was horrible.

Your eyes looked over Jungkook's shoulder at the figure of his father. You bit your lip trying to piece together a quick profile of the well-dressed man standing in the middle of a college campus. He didn’t look awful, didn’t look nasty, just strict. He looked impatient, and as you returned your eyes to Jungkook, you couldn't help but notice how incredibly similar he was to his father.

“It’s okay.” You tried to quickly reassure him, but it was in vain.

“No, it’s not.” He immediately responded angrily.

Jungkook felt his heart racing, a noisy headache was starting to bother him. He wanted to get you out of there, he didn't want you to have any more contact with his father, any more dialogue would ruin you, and he didn't want to take that risk. At this point, he was too considerate of you to make you submit to an unpleasant conversation with his father.

Slowly, he looked behind him, trying to figure out some way to get past his father without him stopping you both in your tracks, but his position was extremely strategic, making it impossible to slip through unnoticed.

“God.” He whispered to himself.

You stared at him determinedly. “Jungkook, it’s okay. Come on, just forget it.”

Giving one last check on the status of your clothes, you let out a long sigh and began your brisk walk towards Jun-Yeol. And before you could go even further, Jungkook reached out and grabbed you lightly by the waist, stopping you midway. He heard a sound of protest leaving your lips, but he couldn't even laugh at the situation.

“Wait. Wait. Wait…” He hurried. “Just…”

A long sigh escaped the depths of his lungs.

“Don’t– Don’t take anything he says personally.”

You frowned at him. God, his father must be the biggest asshole in the world.

“There’s nothing wrong with you.” He still had hope that you would give up on going to his father.

It wasn’t his intention to scare you, but he didn't want you to be taken by surprise when his father started dumping all his inconveniences on you. Jungkook had a very strange and unusual sense of protection over you.

You were still looking at him suspiciously. “Okay… Shall we?”

And there went another moment of you being the coldest, most passive person in the world and scaring him as usual.

He raised an eyebrow at you, trying to disguise his mood. If you were so calm maybe it would be better not to infect you with his pessimism.

Feeling extremely defeated, Jungkook walked after you. It was a mixture of defeat and bad luck, he couldn't believe his father had actually shown up to college, and on the day he was with you. He could have seen him with anyone but you.

It was only a few feet away, but they were extremely torturous feet.

As you approached, his father had his back turned, he seemed to be entertained by something he had seen in the courtyard. Delaying each moment, Jungkook cleared his throat slowly, drawing his attention.

“Dad.” Jungkook nodded.

“Oh.” Jun-Yeol turned away in a slightly more malleable mood. “Jungkook! There you are! Much more presentable.”

Quickly his father's arms wrapped him in a hug, startling him. He was expecting to receive a scolding, a scowl, even a curse, but his father, one of the most insensitive men he'd ever met, was hugging him.

He thought maybe he wanted to impress you, pretend he was a good father, but considering the situation he'd caught the two of them in, it didn't make sense to keep the polite line around you.

Then he thought he was being sarcastic and teasing him, as if he knew he couldn’t be rude with him in front of you.

Many theories circulated in his head while his father ceased the hug.

“I was waiting you’d return my phone calls with any kind of news, but since you didn’t call me back, I came to pick up the news in person.” Jun-Yeol said in a teasing tone.

Jungkook mentally scoffed. There he was, the nasty, sneaky figure of his father.

“I’ve been busy.” Jungkook replied monosyllabically.

His father let out a weak laugh as he regarded him with a certain degree of disdain. “I could see it. Very busy indeed.”

Two minutes in his presence and Jungkook already felt suffocated. A lot of sarcastic answers came to his mind, but he didn't want to cause an unnecessary misunderstanding at the very beginning of the conversation, especially with you being there.

“Dad, this is Y/N. A friend of mine.” He pointed at you, who maintained a calm expression.

“Friend? Is that what you young people call it these days?” His reply came quickly and in a disapproving tone.

Jun-Yeol turned to greet you. Jungkook watched the scene with some surprise. You were a lot like his father when it came to not giving in. You were both very stubborn, so watching you maintain a confident expression in the face of the unyielding figure who was his father was charming.

“Y/N?” He wondered. His fingers were pointed up just like a true politician, his face was confident, and he wore a smug smile. “You’re not…”, he turned slightly to Jungkook. “What was her name again? Your other girlfriend? Seungi, Sungi?”

Instinctively, you parted your lips, your eyes were widened, and your vision met Jungkook’s. It was not your intention to demonstrate that the information somehow “shocked” you. All this time teasing him that Seulgi was his girlfriend, even though you didn’t really believe it, for his father to say it like it was the most well-known truth in the world.

These are the kind of things that made hard to believe the words that came out of Jungkook at his house the other day. But then again, you weren’t an idiot, clearly his father really likes to get under his son’s skin.

Not so suddenly, the air seemed to be sucked from Jungkook’s nostrils. His body stiffened; his posture straightened. How he hated this behavior, this kind of little game that his dad loved, he could have asked that later, of course he could, but he had this need to embarrass him.

Hesitantly and with an irritated face, Jungkook raised his voice just enough for his father to hear. “Seulgi. And she was not my girlfriend.”

“Of course.” He mocked. “Nice to meet you, Y/N.”

Jun-Yeol subtly stole your left hand for himself and placed a quick kiss on your knuckles.

“Likewise, Sir.” You were quick to respond.

“Oh, don’t make me feel old. You can call me Jun-Yeol, please.”

“Jun-Yeol.” You nodded, repeating the name on your lips, testing it.

He raised an eyebrow at his son. “Even more polite, beautiful. What a nice upgrade, son.”

An annoyed sigh escaped Jungkook's lips, and he glanced over his brow at you. You both exchanged a slight smile, and Jungkook was once again surprised by your coldness. You’d just been caught in a less than ideal situation for a college, the man in front of you had just “confused” you for Seulgi and was being a complete idiot, and you still stood your ground.

As soon as he let go of your hand, Jun-Yeol hurried on, not giving Jungkook room to end with that torture soon. “Anyway, I was here thinking about taking the two of you out for lunch.”

Jungkook scoffed to himself in disbelief.

Immediately he turned to you, moving even closer to you. “Oh, I’m afraid Y/N has class now, right?”

Looking at you, Jungkook was met with a priceless reaction. You were still looked self-assured, but there was an indecision present in your next action, which caused your entire body to behave in a way he had never seen before.

You could easily see that Jungkook hated being in the presence of his dad, he was so uncomfortable. Maybe if you were to accept that lunch, his dad wouldn’t have much chance to bother his son, at least not this time around. Wait, why do you even care?

Your eyes were still slightly wide from his father's mention of Seulgi, your lips pressed together tightly, your hands began to rub together anxiously, and the air you were breathing in felt heavy, so loud was the sound coming out of your nostrils.

You were undecided. Even late, you could still get into second class if you wanted to, but something about you showed that you were curious to find out more about his father and have lunch with the two of them together.

“I think it’s okay... I’m... already late. I can- can skip it.”

Lie.

Why were you lying? You hated skipping classes, you'd talked about it before, seen it. Jungkook wanted to question you right there, but that would put even more pressure on you. He didn't need an answer, but he wanted one.

Before he could even persuade you to drop the idea, his father intervened.

“Marvelous. I'll be waiting for you two at that restaurant near your house, son.”

You smiled politely at his father.

His voice was so convincing, irritating, that Jungkook had to struggle not to roll his eyes right there in front of him.

Lately, God and all the celestial stars had been testing his patience. It wouldn’t be a lie if he said that since he’d crossed paths with you, his life had been extremely turmoil, and not always in a good way.

It seemed that everything about you tormented him: you had met just about every important person in his life, his friends were now your friends, and all his thoughts had your name, your scent, your texture.

Jungkook pursed his lips, holding back every curse that came to mind.

He approached you, feeling defeated. “You don’t have to go.”

“You don’t want me to go?” You took a step forward with a smile.

“Well…” He rebuked. “You just saw it for yourself. Do you really. want to go through this?”

He really cared about your well-being, didn’t want you to spend too much time in his father’s company, hated the idea of you becoming intimate with him, it was dangerous, toxic. Even he couldn’t handle his father himself.

At those specific moments Jungkook missed his mother even more. He hadn’t met her, but he was sure his father would be a more tolerable person if she were still here. From the things he tells him, she was an amazing human being.

“He’s certainly something.” You said wryly, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Trust me, it will be over sooner than you think.”

Jungkook smiled as he watched your mock. You were so carefree he could barely remember why you were arguing ten minutes ago.

That was your problem. You fought, had sex, then fought again, then got together, it was a vicious cycle, an unhealthy cycle, he was aware of that. Both of you were aware. It wasn’t supposed to get this complicated.

He could say that he enjoyed it, but more and more he felt incapable, weak within this cycle. Seeing you there having fun was good, it made him feel light, made him believe that things in life could be good. However, when he remembered that you had “rejected” him, everything went gray, his mood brutally declined, it wasn’t supposed to be like this, it was just a rejection.

He was feeling a sense of anticipation, realization.

It was weird, new, he had never been in love with anyone. Not that he was now. Well, he didn’t know how that feeling acted on the human body, didn’t even know if what he was feeling was love. He felt good when he was with you, and he hated to think that you most likely didn’t feel the same way. It was hard to decipher whatever was going through your mind.

And it wasn’t something to think about now.

“Shall we?” You said, already walking towards the parking lot.

Like an obedient servant, he followed you in silence, not daring to challenge you anymore.

The drive to the restaurant was smooth, calm, certainly different from the conversational tone he and you had been having a few minutes ago. When Jungkook parked in front of the place, his eyes caught the figure of his father seated at the first table of the restaurant, right at the entrance. He quickly turned away to look at you, who offered him a knowing smile.

Jungkook felt his breath hitch, his throat itched.

God, this was going to be the longest lunch of his life.

“Are there any topics I shouldn’t bring up?” You said as you walked to the table.

A wry laugh escaped his lips. “Don’t worry. He will speak for you.”

It was kinda cute that you were worried about what to say to his father, as if he wasn’t the most unpleasant person you’d ever met. In this you were certainly better than Seulgi. He remembered when his father had caught him in bed with her, under those very circumstances: invading his personal space without any fuss.

Slowly, he realized that this situation could have been much worse. He could have shown up at his house when you were there, or in the library. Heaven forbid, there were so many worst-case scenarios that Jungkook was starting to feel slightly better.

“Still driving at that slow pace, son?”

These were Jun-Yeol’s first words when he saw Jungkook coming to the table.

“Yep.” He responded by sitting up, ignoring the sarcasm.

He would be superior, he would not discuss useless things, he would not fall for his trials. On the brief walk to the table, he’d decided he’d be better than his father, at least once in his life. There was nothing that would take away his peace, nothing.

He could try to get him into an argument, but Jungkook was willing to win this lunch.

Sitting beside him, with you in front of him, Jungkook stretched out his legs to meet yours under the table.

He saw you hold back a laugh and for a moment allowed himself to relax.

“I think we should already order. Has Jungkook brought you here before, Y/N?” Jun-Yeol’s eyes were fixed on the menu, and before you could even formulate a response, his voice dropped to cruelty. “Oh, no, I confused you with Seulgi again. My apologies.”

My God, this man is really a snake. Now you get why Jungkook told you before not to take anything his dad says personally.

Jungkook turned quickly to him, swallowing hard. “Dad.”

He scolded him on the spot. However, his father's carefree expression didn’t reassure him about the rest of lunch. He didn’t know if his father was testing him or if it had been an unintentional slip-up.

“It’s okay.” You tilted your head slightly, your gaze flicking between Jungkook and his father. You cleared your throat, and continued with a smile that Jungkook could have sworn was one of the fakest he’d ever seen. “I’ve never been here, but I think this Caesar salad looks pretty good.”

Jun-Yeol choked in false surprise. “Oh, you even have good taste in food. How you got it right this time, Jungkook!”

A unison of laughter formed at the table and Jungkook couldn’t help but roll his eyes this time.

It irritated him the way he spoke, as if he and Seulgi had been interacting for hours and he’d really gotten to know her. He’d seen her in bed with him, then had a quick breakfast in his kitchen, nothing more.

Yes, he knew you were infinitely better than Seulgi, it was obvious. You had everything, you were beautiful, intelligent, and appeared to be a much kinder human being. But all that mention of Seulgi, comparing them, made him more and more anxious.

Without even looking at his son, Jun-Yeol held up one of his hands, excitedly calling for a waiter to serve him.

“I’d like two Caesar salads, please. And…, Jungkook?”

“A burger, please.” His voice was as low as a breath.

Hearing a long, disappointed sigh from his father, Jungkook and you looked at each other.

Really? He can’t even choose a food without his father judging him.

You were biting your lips with a certain violence; your eyebrows were slightly arched. You looked so understanding there, your eyes seemed to sink into his thoughts, it was as if at any moment you could start to speak what was on his mind.

Once again, he saw how superior you were to him. You were dealing with all that bullshit a lot more resiliently than he was. You didn’t seem nervous, intimidated, much less bothered by his father’s conversation, although he imagined you were, you were just too good at hiding it.

You smoothed his leg with yours under the table, catching his attention again. “U okay?” You whispered, almost incomprehensible.

He nodded slightly at you. There was no reason to tell the truth at that moment.

“So, Y/N, what do you study?” Jun-Yeol called out, startling you.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see that Jungkook had leaned back in his chair, wanting to ignore all the dialogue that was about to ensue.

“Classical Literature.” Your tone was so excited that you even looked surprised at yourself.

Jungkook smiled to see you speak so proudly.

“Oh, that’s amazing. It is definitely an interesting degree.”

“I love it! It kind of brings together all the things I like, literature, myths, and a little bit of teaching.” Your voice was strangely high-pitched.

“Teaching?” Jun-Yeol leaned across the table, showing interest. “Do you plan to be a teacher?”

At that moment, Jungkook leaned back slightly from his chair. It was a topic that even he wasn’t aware of, and for various reasons he still couldn’t explain to himself, he was interested in your future plans.

“I think so. I- I don’t know, I haven’t given it much thought, but it would be nice.”

Your eyes strayed to Jungkook, who was raising his eyebrows, just waiting for you to look at him.

“You would make a great teacher.” He confessed, smiling.

Your eyes narrowed as a smile filled almost the entire lower part of your face. You were genuinely happy for the compliment, and Jungkook was finding it quite a show to watch you happy. There you were, not the Y/N who had rejected him, who was playing games with him, you were just Y/N, a happy, beautiful, girl.

“Thank you…”

Before he could even relax into his chair again, another topic he also knew almost nothing about came up.

“And you were born here in Seoul?” Jun-Yeol amended.

Before answering him, you arched an eyebrow at Jungkook, making a point of showing that you had sensed his interest in the conversation. “No, I’m actually from Y/C/N.”

He watched, waiting for you to break eye contact first. Luckily for him, his father’s words caught your attention.

“Y/C/N.” He tested the word. “I heard it’s a great place to live too.”

By the end of that sentence, Jungkook couldn’t hold back the laughter that rose in his chest. It was as if he was considering whether that country would be a good place for his son to live with you.

It was pathetic, and funny.

The waiter interrupted you with a three-course tray, and Jungkook mentally thanked for the speed of the establishment. The faster you ate, the faster this torture would end, and he could walk away. He knew he would have to face his father at some point, as he always did, but at least you wouldn’t have to go through more shit.

“Did your parents move here too?”

You choked, putting your cutlery down. Immediately, Jungkook looked at you, your eyes were slightly wide, your mouth was slightly open. For the first time since the moment this encounter had begun, you looked unsure.

He remembered that the last time you both “talked” about this subject, you had briefly mentioned that you hadn’t grown up with your parents. You had no reason for that topic to make you so nervous. Or at least that was what Jungkook thought.

These were the kind of conversations that you always avoided. There were really few people that you would open up to. It wasn’t like there was something to hide – although there was one thing that you didn’t tell Jungkook last time you talked about your family -, you just didn’t like sharing some of your personal matters.

You weren’t used to it and you had armed yourself for quite some time to avoid attaching to people, it wasn’t going to be easy for you to put your guard down and start spilling all your life to anyone.

Your loud breathing took over the table. “Ah, no... Ehr... I grew up in Seoul with my aunt, and my mother– she… stayed in Y/C/N.”

So far, the details Jungkook knew about your parents matched what you had told him. Nothing new. But he wanted to understand the reason for your nervousness, your face was serious, even your posture had stiffened.

“And your father?” Jun-Yeol continued his interrogation.

And that’s when he finally managed to understand.

You craned your neck, smiling nervously. “Ah… he died. I– I actually… didn’t meet him.”

Jungkook wished he had better disguised his reaction when he finished listening to the words that came out of your mouth. He was feeling, somehow, betrayed. He knew it was a selfish feeling to feel, that it wasn’t his right to feel this way, but a strange sense of bitterness filled him.

This wasn’t the way he’d expected to know this sort of thing, you could have talked it over with him, or at least mentioned it. Did you not trust him enough to open up about this topic?

He never wanted to go into details about his mother because he didn’t feel comfortable, but in the few moments when the subject came up, his body practically begged him to open up. It was a sense of urgency that always felt right, like you were the right person to listen to him.

The fact that you had never commented anything about your father, not a single mention, made him feel uncomfortable, insufficient. He expected you to feel like he did, tempted to open up, to be vulnerable, but you, on the contrary, never showed any kind of weakness in the matter. You were so good hiding your feelings. He never suspected that one of your parents had died.

That topic was, most likely, the most common thing you both had together. The frailty, growing up without a father/mother figure, all the agony during the commemorative dates, you could have shared so much together. You could have spent hours talking about it, helping each other, healing each other.

God, how betrayed he felt. Even when it was selfish of him to expect for you to open up to something this deep for you, he couldn’t help to feel once again that he wasn’t enough. Ugh, the insecurities were playing with his mind.

Jungkook forced himself to swallow the bite of snack stuck in his mouth. He needed to force himself to look away, to act casual, but he just couldn’t. His body was restless in the chair, and the noise his movements made practically announced his discomfort.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” His father said casually. “You’re just like Jungkook, but with his mother, of course.”

Immediately, Jungkook thought he was in hell, he just hadn’t been formally warned of it.

You remained silent but your eyes were restless. They couldn’t keep their focus on one thing, wavering between his father, the salad in front of you, and him. You looked at him with compassion, as if he were a stray dog, it was a terribly disturbing look to him.

He hated to think that you were feeling sorry for him.

“Haerin was an amazing woman, she would have loved to meet you.” Jun-Yeol continued.

“Can we not talk about this?” His voice came out loud, startling the man beside him.

Jun-Yeol chuckled weakly, his self-centered posture did not allow him to face his son. Instead, he leaned his elbows on the table, and bent his head to get closer to you. “Well, truth be told, she’d love to receive you at home with a big lunch or dinner. And the two of you would definitely talk about literature, she loved to read.”

A loud scoff escaped Jungkook’s lips. He looked up at his father. “Please.”

You swallowed hard watching the scene. It was one of the first times you’d seen Jungkook say a “please” so pleadingly and not just out of politeness. You saw his jaw clench, and his fingers tightened even further on the snack in his hand.

“What’s the matter, Jungkook? People die, we get over it and we keep living with it.” His father snapped back angrily.

Keep living with it? Sounds quite insensitive for me.

You curled up in your chair, were about to witness a real fight between Jeon Jungkook and his father. It wasn’t something you were expecting to happen, but it was definitely something you were curious about.

“I’m begging you.” One of Jungkook’s fists hit the table almost unintentionally.

Jun-Yeol leaned back in his chair, slovenly. “Okay, that’s fine. But don’t pretend you are respecting her memory.” His tone was assured, utterly provocative. “Or what? Do you think she’s proud of you now? The way you’ve been acting?”

An inaudible “oh” escaped your lips as your eyes widened.

This is so fucked up.

Jungkook stood up abruptly, pushing the chair away. “That’s enough.”

His body stiffened, his posture was painfully straight, and his fists were clenched. You stared at him scared and could have sworn that if that wasn’t his own father, they would be grappling on the floor.

It was a Jungkook you’d never seen, not even when he’d quarreled with Jimin. The vein in his neck was standing out, flashy, and you could see the effort it was taking for him to rebel against his father.

“Jungkook, sit down.” Jun-Yeol said slowly, not as a threat, but as an order.

You saw his body bow slightly, as if Jun-Yeol’s words had real control over his actions. Jungkook’s face contorted in something akin to pain. He was trying hard not to sit down.

He gasped loudly and finally snapped out of that kind of trance that had left him almost paralyzed. His feet moved off the table, and his eyes searched desperately for your figure.

“Shall we? I can take you home now.”

You knew it wasn’t a suggestion; it was a plea.

Again, your eyes darted frantically to the two men in front of you. Jun-Yeol kept a calm expression, as if he knew he was bothering his son, that he was in control of the situation; and Jungkook had his brows arched, practically kneeling for you to get up and follow him.

You choked, dropping the silverware next to the rest of your salad. In your mind your movements had been faster, but it took you a long time to get to your feet and finally nod at Jungkook’s request.

“I’ll see you at your home. And it was a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.” Jun-Yeol’s voice echoed in the back of his mind.

Jungkook saw your lips tighten in an attempt to answer a simple “likewise”, but no sound came out. So, you simply nodded at him with a small smile on your lips.

When his feet finally stepped outside the restaurant, Jungkook allowed himself to take a deep breath without guilt for the first time since meeting his father. He could hear your hurried footsteps beside him as you tried to keep up with him.

“I can take you to eat somewhere else if you’re still hungry.” He said low.

“I’m fine.”

He didn’t dare look at you. He was feeling embarrassed after that “scene” with his father.

When he got into the car, his hands were shaking, and his feet took a while to grip the pedals. His breathing was loud, and to his unhappiness, you were completely silent, making the sounds of his nervous body stand out even more.

“Are you okay?” You finally spoke, your voice now music to his ears.

He avoided answering you. He was far from “okay”, and he was sure his voice would fail the moment he decided to start talking. The silence lasted a long time, but not long enough to reach your apartment.

“Jungkook,” You placed one of your hands just above his knee.

His body stiffened and he cursed himself for it, because you sure as hell had noticed. The air seemed to have been sucked out of his breath. You wanted him to look at you, you weren’t going to continue your sentence if he didn’t look at you, but still he kept his eyes fixed on the street in front of you.

When he parked in front of your building, he didn’t wait for you to say goodbye. Immediately, he got out of the car, seeing you get slightly confused.

You got out of the car and looked at him smiling. “What are you doing?”

“Taking you home.” His answer came out humorously.

Amazing how your presence alone did him good, even with all the arguments you had, you had this power to bring out the best in him. He was still a nervous wreck over his father, but a little time alone with you already made him light, light in a way that even worried him.

“You don’t have to.” You laughed, heading towards him.

“I insist.”

The elevator ride to your floor was complete silence. Leaning against opposite walls, you faced each other, competing for who had the worst grin on their face. Being in such a small, closed cubicle with you was a nightmare for Jungkook. The scent of your perfume filled the entire space, and he felt even more helpless around you.

As the doors opened on the seventh floor, he mentally thanked God.

“Seventy six?” He took a chance.

“Seven.” You teased. “Did you come all this way just to find out which apartment I live in?”

You approached the door but made no move to open it. You leaned against the doorframe, pursing your lips while staring at him. You stared at each other for a long time in silence, as if talking mentally. Your face showed resilience while his showed a mixture of confusion and regret.

Jungkook braced a hand against the door. “I’m so sorry.” His voice came out weak, not as confident as he wished.

What is he apologizing for?

You opened your mouth in mild astonishment. “You are not your father, Jungkook. You don’t need to apologize to me.”

“No, it’s not just about that.” He promptly replied, almost interrupting you. “Earlier, I was not– I…– that wasn’t very manly of me.”

He was referring to the scene before his father interrupted you in college.

A little scoff escaped your lips. You didn’t seem to believe he was apologizing for that.

“It was a line we crossed together. I kissed you back, didn’t I?” You had a smug little smile on your face, your head tilted slightly next to his outstretched arm.

Always superior to him.

Jungkook let out a long weary sigh. He was feeling more and more lost about you, his head hurt just thinking about getting home and talking to his father, college seemed interminable, and he felt more distant from his friends, he was living a horrible period.

“I hope you know you are better than the things he says.” You said softly.

“Am I?” His face came slightly closer to yours.

When he saw you nod, he couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips.

Might be the first time he hears a compliment coming out of your mouth and he’s enjoying it so much. His body was still for a while, his eyes studying your face. You were really one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen, and he couldn’t tell if it was just your looks, or if your mature demeanor influenced that view.

More and more he understood you less, he thought that with time he would be able to decipher you, read you, but things became more confused, nebulous. You had said you were with him for the sex, but all your kindness with him at times when you didn't need to be kind left him questioning whether or not you cared for him.

One thing he had realized, had been almost forced to realize: he liked you.

He felt good with you, craved your company. In college he looked for your face, even if it was just for you to curse at him; at home he missed the way you just fit into his bed; parties had lost interest because he wasn't looking for someone anymore, he kind of already had someone.

“Jungkook–” Your voice woke him.

“You’re not gonna invite me in?” He cut you, roughly.

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⏤ author's note❧ FYI, the "Y/C/N acronym stands for 'Your Country Name'. Long chapter once again! 😄 Sorry for making you wait for updates guys, I really want to make this story worthy so I might take some more time to write the next few chapters in order to do that so. Please, don't hesitate on leaving your feedback, reblog, send me asks, whatever you'd like. I absolute love reading your comments 💜🥰

⏤ tag list❧ @chimsworldsstuff @erica2283 @ahgasegotarmy116 @whoa-jo

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bringbacktim · 11 months ago

Note

sebastian vettel x reader where y/n comforts him after his difficult time in ferrari. fluff to smut maybe hehe x

Red to green

Sorry if this isn't exactly what you wanted , I got carried away with the dialogue as I usually do , it does have a sexual ending but not quite smut as I just wanted to get this out

Not edited or proofread

Warnings: mentions of sex and sexual things , sad seb ig , probably incorrect use of German words , a crap ton of dialogue

Wc:738 words

You're replacing Checo at force India and I had to find out through the f1 Instagram page" Y/n asked storming into the room where her husband sebastian was

"It's Aston Martin now , but yes I am" he said not daring to move out of his chair as she seemed calmer than she should be and he was scared she was going to try and hurt him if he got up

" Still doesn't answer the question of why you didn't tell me you're own wife" she said crossing her arms over her chest as she stared at him waiting for his answer

" I didn't want to tell you Schatz because of how bad my ferrari season went , if I told you everything would've went bad" he explained hoping for sympathy

" I thought I was your good luck charm though?" She fake pouted and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as she sat sideways on his lap

"Don't give me that face , you know what I meant leibling" he laughed

" It's just like when you start dating someone so you don't tell anyone cause once you do they start to not like you anymore , I get it seb. I just wish someone atleast told me so I could've stopped buying ferrari merch"

"You look so good in red though" he teased as he traced up and down her arm ( I literally don't know how you describe it )

"Flattery will get you very far with me mr.vettel" she tried not to cringe as she said that but with of them both laughed

"You can go back to being mad with me how" he told her as he gave her a flirty push

"Well daniil isn't there anymore so you don't have to fight him , but bottas is and he did basically cost you the championship lead , but I'm sure you'll do great" y/n said holding his face and kissing his cheek

"Such kind words , you forgot when me and Lewis had contact in Belgium 2018 and I dropped to the back of the grid" he said looking sad at remembering the memory

"Didn't want to bring that one up since lewis is becoming a bit more of a madman when it comes to having contact with people"

As sebastian sat looking like a kicked puppy Y/n couldn't help but feel bad I mean she did bring up some of the bad things that had happened while seb was in ferrari but she was trying to uplift him in a joking manner , which clearly hadn't worked.

He assured her he was fine but even stevie wonder could see he was anything but .

Y/n tried to mention some highlights in his career like his red bull prime, but seb would just hit back with two other mistakes that happened whilst he was in ferrari as if everything bad that happened was his fault

"You know not everything is always your fault right? You tried your best in ferrari but it wasn't the right fit for you and that's okay"

"But ferrari is one of the best teams in the world and I was terrible, Charles even outnumbered me in Japan" her husband answered head in his hands

"Thats not the end of the world , you even said yourself that charles has a gift and Japan is only one race so why does it matter. Plus I wasn't there to give you any of my good luck"

"So it was your fault I did so bad?" He questioned half a grin showing

"I guess so yes all the bad things we're all my fault" she said with a michevous twinkle in her eye hoping they were on the same page

"Oh yeah ? Guess we're going to have to do something about that then aren't we" oh they were definitely on the same page , same sentence even

"What're you going to do ? Punish me for being so bad or something?" Y/n said stading up and walking slowly backwards towards the stairs that lead to their room

"Don't start something you can't finish" he warned stalking after her

"We both know I can make you finish, just depends where you want to" she giggled as she increased the speed she was walking at as he was hot on her heels

He only ever mentioned his sad ferrari memories after that if he wanted to either annoy his wife or get some

#sebastian vettel x reader #formula 1 x reader #formula one #formula one imagine #formula 1 #f1 #ferrari #aston martin #charles leclerc

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colectingstrz · 1 year ago

Text

THIS ONE IS FOR U

Soo's smol notey:📝: I saw this pic on Pinterest and I was immediately inspired to write a Jake related fic with some correlation to basketball ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ + plussss Jake is soo so the type to yell this is for you and miss 😭 hence the title 💀

“Unknowingly, when you call my name Heartbreakingly, my heart is pounding”

After a messy breakup things have been awkward especially as your the teams manger and have to interact with Jake on a daily basis or in which Jake is determined to win you over and get you back even embarrassing himself in the process

TO SAY THINGS ARE AWKWARD IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. You and Jake’s breakup was as messy as it could be. Jake had cheated on you the whole thing drove you mad not only did you drag the girl by her hair you also dragged Jake and attempted to drown him in the pool in front of everyone. If it weren’t for your friends and his getting involved you would have gone to jail for murder that day.

Though time has gone past and you are no longer upset and have accepted reality, you are still slightly embarrassed about how you acted at the time as well as the status of your and Jake's relationship, especially as you are his basketball team’s manager. You pretend it's nothing, but you're bothered and find it difficult to be comfortable around him.

"So... do you have a prom date yet?" Jake inquires, gazing your way as he dribbles the ball. "Why should that worry you? It's none of your business who I'm with," he groans, "it's my business you're my ex," you smile " key word here is ex..my life should not concern you now, stop asking stupid questions and start shooting some hoops," you say one final time before leaving and heading to the back to collect additional basketballs, which Heeseung had requested earlier.

While looking for which set to pick you feel a presence behind you. So you turn around to be face to face with the last man you wanted to see. Go away Jake seriously “ dont make me report you for stalking ”Jake laughed holding his chest “ ahh im so hurt y/n” you roll your eyes turning back but Jake held your shoulder forcing you to turn to him “ who are you going with tho?” Why does he want to know so bad.. it’s weird “ since your begging for an answer I’ll let you know..honesty I have no idea yet I haven’t decided “ he hummed as a response but you could tell he was thinking

He had that I’m thinking of something stupid jake face on right now “ go on.. just say it I know you want to..” his face lit up before he took a deep breath “ well I have no one to go with and you seem to not have anyone to go with..soooo you and me prom! what do you think ?” Is he on drugs ? Or has he just genuinely lost the plot you blink your eyes aggressively perplexed as to what you were hearing.

“ what do I think? Why would I got to prom with my ex who cheated on me ? Do you seriously want to know what I think-because I have a bone to pick with you Jake don’t even get me started" you felt yourself getting worked up as you resurfaced locked memories you never wanted to remember “ i already told you I even showed you how sorry i was.. I even tried explained to you what actually happened but you would not listen! You know I would never hurt you” here he goes again with the lies

“ I don’t want to hear it.. I do not want to have this conversation with you.. I’m not going to be your prom date go ask some other girl” you shove past him and storm out of the hall forgetting the little side quest heeseung had set you on. A deep sigh was let out as you rested on a the wall of the hallway why can’t you just leave me alone Jake

JAKE’S 2ND ATTEMPT. The next day was simply no better jake was really pushing your buttons “ the answer is 45 btw” he whispered to you. At this point he had basically given you the answers to half of the paper he might as well have just sat the test for you instead. I don’t need your help leave me aloneeee “ jake piss off I don’t need you I can do this myself” you whispered back basically spitting out your words at him so he would get the point and leave you alone. He sighed, turning away from you , relieved to have some peace and quiet you attempt the to tackle the other half of the paper and realise you had no idea what any of the questions were or how to answer them.

You sighed, knowing you needed Jake's assistance. Kill me now pls You look to your side to already see Jake staring at you with his head resting on his Palm “ it seems you need me love ” you roll your eyes “ call me love again and I’ll drown you in the pool for real this time just give me the answers ” your response causes Jake to laugh slightly as he turns his paper in your direction so you can copy the rest.

" you owe me for basically giving you a free A " you sigh " you never asked anything back when we were together tho.." Jake flicked your forehead causing you to flinch in agony. What the hell jake " we’ll likeeee you said earlier, you're my ex, so this kind gesture comes at a cost, my love," he should stop calling me that. "So, what exactly do you want?" Jake grins “Be my prom date." You step back "Oh my Jake, you've turned into a comedian haven't you? “ You were laughing so hard you had to hold your stomach because it was starting to hurt. "I'm not going to be your prom date" get somebody else to do it You pat him on the back with a fake smile before walking away, or rather sprinting away, because you could see him following you again in the corner of your eye.

JAKE’S 3RD ATTEMPT. if it was not bad enough he tormented you at school he had the audacity to show up at your house and disturb you in the comfort of your own home. Your sitting down chilling while doing some sketches, when you hear a bang on your window, what the hell? You are on your knees, peering out, to get a peek only to find Jake waving down at you, holding a flower he had snatched from your mother's treasured garden. The more Jake kept going the more it gave you any tiny hint of hope..you were even willing to look past what he had done to you almost wanting to give in. Why can’t you just stay out of my life Jake stop making me feel things

Jake, as usual, got his way, and you ended up letting him in through your window and now sit on opposing sides of the bed. "you know... you could have just knocked and my sister would have opened the door for you... she's like the only one who likes you in this household," you said slyly, to which Jake sighed and looked down. " Can we not do this right now?" You raised your brow. "Do what argue? Are you afraid of being called out?" Standing up, Jake sighed once more.

“ stop this it’s so-so irritating ! I keep trying to explain myself to you and you never want to listen to me ! It’s like In your head you’ve already painted me as some Cheater when that’s not what happed ” I don’t have time for this “ well I don’t know how you expect me to believe you when I saw what I saw ! Even my friends told me that they saw you guys together before I even came down to see it for myself !” Jake sighed in irritation, approaching you and placed his hands on your shoulders “y/n.. can you just trust me for once and take my word.. you know how much you mean to me, I would never go out of my way to hurt or disrespect you." “She kissed me, and I didn't know what to do. I pulled her away, but you had already left."

You didn't want to believe it, yet you gave in so easily, especially when Jake sounded so serious and genuine that you couldn't detect a lie anywhere... Reality had hit you. You realise for some reason that you never really talked to Jake after that, and ghosted him because you had fixed your mind on your opinion of what had happened, never really wanting to hear his side of the story

You hated yourself for doing this and ignoring him all this time, you both had been hurting for no cause. If it went for yourself and your overthinking and actually had bothered to talk it out with Jake now you could have still been together. Gosh why am I so quick to always jump to conclusions this is my fault " Jake.. I'm so sorry..I-“ shhh it's ok it’s alright " Jake cut you off by pulling you into his chest, one hand resting on your head and the other on your waist as he pulled you into a hug. "All that matters is that you believe me now in this moment.. that's all I ever needed and wanted from you my love," similar to before before hearing him call you that made your heart flutter but in this circumstance you felt your heart just melt.

“Here is my heart out for you ”

JAKE’S FINAL AND LAST ATTEMPT WAS THE GRAND FINAL. Now that you and him were on talking terms the awkwardness eventually faded away and it was like freshman year all over again with the two of you locking gazes across the room and quickly looking away. Blushing at any compliment he would make. Cute exchange of love letters in class it was nostalgic. Jake was the happiest he had been in a long time, and his teammates noticed. Jake's performance had improved shooting many goals more than he had in the previous semester, and it was clear from the lovey dovey glances you two exchanged across the sports hall at every practise session that you and jake had patched it up. Though Jake, on the other hand still wanted to ask you to prom.

But now that you two are back on track, he wanted to make a huge proposal that would show you and Convey how how he truly felt and as well as a cool way to ask you out. Jake wanted to impress you with want he knew best aka basketball.

During practice you had arrived a bit late due to your teacher but you still rushed to the hall not wanting to keep the team waiting. As soon as you arrived you sat down on the front bench as you went on your phone to quickly reply to your friends message ." hey y/n" You look up to see Jake joyously waving at you, and you reciprocate one. He holds the ball up pointing in your direction " This one's for you! " He yells before shooting into the hoop. Jake had a vision of how this would play out, which included him taking a beautiful shot, you being amazed, and him asking you out to prom. But, unfortunately for you Jake and everyone else in the room, he absolutely missed it; he wasn't even close to getting it in.

The entire situation was humiliating. Afterwards to top it off Jake clumsily stood on one knee almost tripping while he whipped out a Harry Bow ring form his pocket , reaching out to you, "w-will you be my prom date?" No..way he can’t be serious You were resisting the urge to laugh, but you managed to let out a small "yes" as you ran into his arms for a big bear hug. The whole thing was amusing. Jake was clumsy, but it was adorable because you could see he tried his hardest for you even if it didn't work out.

Despite all that and happed between you two… you was happy to see he was still the awkward and cute boyfriend you had learned to adore.

@COPYRIGHTS SOOTREEPEAR 2023

𖤐 steal my work and I’ll come to your house and suck your blood 🧛‍♀️

𖤐authors notes and dat pt2.📝: broke off the sad ending streeak 😻 wrote tbis at 4am so if sometimg is spelt wrong erase it from your memory and act like u didn’t see it (ง'̀-'́)ง aniii ways i hope you liked it !! + if you already saw this it is a repost 😭 I privated it and made some changes

- peace and love ♡︎

𖤐 link to my other works !!

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screams-in-writing · 3 months ago

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Hi, recently discovered your Mr puzzles x reader fic and I really like it so far! So my question is (as a hypothetical and if it’s too spoilery and or too much to answer you don’t have to answer this!) what would be the reader’s reaction to the smg4 crew and how do you think each individual interaction would go down. Like after some character development and with a way to return to the smg4 world for Mr.Puzzles I think the reader would convince him to formerly apologize to all of them for putting them through everything that he’s done to them and the smg4 crew are super confused and flabbergasted that Mr.Puzzles actually somehow managed to get a partner.

Again if you don’t want to answer that first question then here’s another one that’s more silly! What if Mr.Puzzles sees the reader playing a Mario game and Mr.Puzzles just freaks out and just shuts off the game and reader is understandably upset at him doing that and then he explains that that pesky plumber ruined his life and never wants to see his face again! And then reader gets an idea of how to effectively keep Puzzles in line and to basically puzzle proof everything. By saying. “Oh, so you’re saying if I were to give him a call right now? And ask him to come over?” And he’s like “You wouldn’t dare! Youre, You’re bluffing! Y-you can’t call Mario!” And reader’s like “oh yeah? How can you tell if I’m bluffing or not?” And then he’s like “Cease your irritating mind games!” And then reader’s like “Just try me tv man. One phone call is all it takes.” With a smug smirk.

There will be an interaction like that with the smg4 crew, but it’s a bit further down the line for the fic, but it will be there. But reader will be very interested in meeting them, even if it’s only over a computer at first. I do think the reader would believe that he ought to apologize but it is also entirely up to Mr. Puzzles as to how and when. He strikes me as not having the best time actually addressing other people when he’s not on camera and can act as he will. When it comes down to actually addressing the emotional (and maybe physical?) stress on Smg4 and co, it is going to be a lot more difficult, since I feel he doesn’t exactly realize how much distress he caused in the name of trying to make a good show over all the things he had a hand in, directly or indirectly.

But once that is finally addressed, there is so going to be mass confusion, teasing, taunting and disbelief like yeah wdym that Mr. Puzzles actually has time outside of his wants for another person??? How?? Did he brainwash the reader no worries they can help with that like it is very hard for many of the crew to believe it is actually genuine and not some trickery until they witness little things that Mr. Puzzles actually allows them to see that yup no. This man is down bad and he is terrible at conveying said feelings and it’s kinda amazing the relationship developing hasn't crashed and burned yet *whistles innocently* as to the second part:

reader would find it fascinating the puzzles actually met Mario, even if it was some alternate universe version of him. I feel like if he 50/50 on being upset over someone shutting a game off on me but if it was because the other person claimed to have met said character? I’d definitely be intrigued and grill them. puzzles would have a good segue into talking about how he ended up in readers world but now that he is friends and possibly more he’s digging himself a hole for future him as puzzles would only focus on Mario and how he ruined things yadda yadda but not explain in detail how puzzles was the one that instigated things and uh oh communication likely should have been done at that earlier point before the reader gets to talk to smg4 and co to find out that puzzles is keeping a pretty big secret he’d been struggling to decide whether or not to drop and oops now he’s being blackmailed by smg4 and 3 to fess up.

also it would be a good tactic to keep him in line but only when puzzles is back on his own world and Mario can just. Appear if someone calls him and puzzles lives in a state of high anxiety for a while struggling to decide whether to retaliate or not. In readers world, puzzles just gets smugly amused and condescending that it won’t work since Mario can’t get here. But tables turn when it is a reality and reader will definitely be the smug one then. I’m especially excited to have Mario terrorize Mr puzzles inadvertently and somehow have smg4 roped into getting back at Mario and reader and others will just sit back with popcorn and watch the show.

#screams in writing answers #smg4 mr puzzles #smg4 mr puzzles x reader #i can’t wait to get to later chapters but I got to be patient it will be worth it

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invidiia · 1 year ago

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you said i could do it so here i am 😇

i was thinking about this the other day—what if verlaines darling started learning french in secret while they were held captive? like they wanted to understand him better so they just found their old phone that they thought that verlaine discarded and they just downloaded an app to learn french😭

anyways that’s all LMAODH

français en secret - yan!paul verlaine x reader

❐ - yandere!verlaine (bsd) x reader

note ; HII I LOVE THIS REQUEST?! ALSO THANK YOU GUYS FOR 150+ FOLLOWERS ILY ALL!! i do not know french, so if anyone would correct me anything i put in this, i would absolutely appreciate it!! EDIT: CREDIT TO @eroqista FOR HE,PING ME WITH THE FRENCH PART BEAUSE WBFKEF

prompt ; after being stuck with the man for who knows how long, verlaine's darling began to learn french in secret.

warnings ; kidnapping, yandere/obsessive themes, gender neutral!reader,

it took a good while to find your old phone. you thought verlaine threw almost everything of yours out!

the screen was slightly damaged, a few cracks adorning the glass, but it was still slightly usable. verlaine had left the house again, after throwing you into the basement for whatever reason. perhaps he forgot about the boxes with your old belongings in them, boxes that he had been meaning to burn.

but the boxes weren't burned to ashes, and instead, they sat in the basement while dust collected. in another box was an old pen that had surprisingly not dried out, and a notebook.

you rarely saw verlaine visibly angry - but you could always tell when he was, after months of living with him, you learned to know his emotions. he semi-trusted you, but not enough to tell you exactly how he feels, other than that he loved you.

one thing you noticed more than often when verlaine was upset was that he would speak french - his native language. he would either be upset, talking to a colleague or friend, or just to himself, but you understood none of it.

maybe a good way to understand him more would be to understand what he was saying. that, or you could also try to escape with your new understanding of his words. maybe he would say over the phone how long he would be gone, and how far he was going, so you could create a window of time for your escape.

or you could simply learn the language and surprise him after getting good enough, and tell him the sweetest things exactly how he doesn't expect it.

It wasn't perfect.

Only three-four months of nonstop learning whenever you had time alone couldn't get you close to perfect. Even the basics weren't easy; it was very difficult. And it wasn't like you were hiding your learning well, either. Verlaine knew you spent an awful lot of time in the basement, so he often came down to check on you, but he'd just see you curled up in the corner with a notebook in hand, and when he looked at the paper, it was just cutesy drawings of flowers and bees and everything cute you could think of.

You had time to put the phone away and hide it since you could hear the door open, since you still weren't technically allowed to have that phone, even if you were just using it to learn another language.

(now, imagine the reader purposely trying to get put in the basement because they don't want to break their daily streak and get hunted by the duolingo bird. do your french lessons, Y/N.)

It took time, but eventually you were able to understand and make basic conversation.. which also meant you could listen in on phone calls he made while speaking in French only.

This could go two ways depending on your actions.

"You started learning French?" Verlaine looked almost impatient, looking at you while he waiting for an answer. You hadn't thought this through. How were you planning to explain to him exactly how? "I picked up on some of yours." You replied innocently, looking back down at your feet to alleviate the stress of the highly likely possibility that he doesn't believe your lie. "You just magically understood French from listening? What, did I leave a dictionary down there?" Verlaine stood up from his chair, sauntering behind you with a small smile on his face while you nodded. He wasn't smiling softly. "Good job." He placed a hand on your shoulder and turned to leave the room. It was that easy? He believed you like that?

But you should have known he didn't actually believe you. Verlaine was no idiot, it shouldn't be a surprise when you were waken up in the morning in the basement, with all of the boxes containing your old belongings gone.

The basement door was locked tightly, and the basement was now entirely empty. There was a note on the door, and attached with a paper clip, was one photo. There the boxes were - set ablaze and sat in front of a camera. The note read,

"J'ai trouvé ton téléphone, chéri. Tu vois les photos ? J'ai mis le feu aux boîtes. Ton vieux téléphone est dans l'une d'elles. Vraiment, bon travail, d'apprendre le français et de me le cacher. Tu aurais pu demander, j'aime passer du temps avec toi. Je te dirais bien "bonne chance pour la prochaine fois", mais je ne pense pas qu'il y aura une prochaine fois. Je t'aime."

#bsd verlaine #verlaine x reader bsd #yandere verlaine x reader bsd #yandere bsd x reader #bsd x reader #klya..requests #yandere bungou stray dogs #klya..best friends!! <3 #yandere bsd #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #tw yandere

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alexanderwales · 6 months ago

Text

Adversarial Reading

I think my least favorite type of reader is the reader who thinks I'm trying to get something over on them. They're watching out for my tricks, and they want to call me on my bullshit.

I think it would be more tolerable if they weren't wrong so often. The comments they leave make assumptions about where the plot is going or what my writing process is, and because adversarial readers cannot read my mind, they often just totally blow it.

"The author only had X happen so that Y could happen"

No, I had X happen because that's my understanding of the character, or because it was thematically appropriate, or because there are things going on in the background that you're ignorant of. And you know what, Y isn't going to happen! It's just not that kind of story! So you're wrong on both counts.

"Character X is acting really ooc right now to move the plot along"

No, she's acting different from how she normally acts because a character is not a monolith with a single personality trait. She's acting like that because she had a chance to rest for the first time in the entire novel, because this is the first time someone has treated her like she's not a piece on a chess board, because she's hit her breaking point.

"Character X really should have done Y, is he stupid?"

First, Y is impossible per the rules the story has set up. It's explicitly called out in a line you missed three chapters back. Second, X does not have access to all the same information that you have, and he does not think like you. His priorities are different from the priorities that you have.

~~~

I try, as a general rule, to be empathic.

I think a lot of adversarial readers have read a lot of shitfic, and when you're reading something from an author who doesn't know what they're doing, it's often correct to come to the conclusion that things are Weird Like That because the author was inexpertly stitching together scenes they had in their head, or because they forgot a detail from earlier, or because something obvious just didn't occur to them. Maybe it's not nice, but I've spoken to a lot of starting authors, and asked questions that have gotten me answers that are ... basically that.

I think it goes beyond brainrot pattern-matching though. I think it's partly a desire to feel smugly superior and treat reading as a game that can be won. There are so few options these days for people to feel powerful and validated, and maybe (wrongly or rightly) explaining that you know all the author's tricks and have fallen for none of them helps with what the Unabomber called the "power process" (briefly, a desire of humans to formulate goals and attain them through non-trivial effort).

Reading isn't like that, or shouldn't be. I'm writing this story and you're reading it, and we're in collaboration with each other. I'm attempting to plant a garden in your mind, and it's not going to work if you're not watering it.

Sometimes, if a reader doesn't understand why a character did something, or complains about something that happened which was explained in the text, I do think this is my fault. As a writer it's my job to make sure that things are explained and foreshadowed and that the subtext is readable. This is very difficult to do when writing for an audience of very different assumptions and levels of reading skill. Sometimes as a writer I have to say "mea culpa, this was not written well enough for you to understand character motivations, the rules of the world, or the subtext that underpins this moment".

If you think that "adversarial reader" might describe you, there are a few things that I ask:

Don't make assumptions about the authorial process.

Don't make assumptions about the author.

It's always better to coach things as questions that are open for comment, rather than statements, e.g. "I don't understand why she would do that" instead of "acting real ooc rn".

It's always better to cite text, which will also help keep you from getting things wrong. ctrl+f is one of the best inventions of the last 100 years.

It's always better to assume the author knows what they're doing, at least at first. Sometimes this is a recipe for getting burned, but is it really so bad to get burned?

#writing #adversarial reading #litrpg #fiction #things that get me salty #commentariat #royal road #ao3

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a-writer-on-elm-street · 2 years ago

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Hi there! I don’t know if you write poly Sinclair or not but if you do could I get a poly Sinclair x reader (female or gender neutral is fine) where the reader gets really mad at someone for not understanding what they want despite how many times they explain and so the boys comfort her/them and calm them down?

I’m getting really frustrated with my counselor for basically ignoring what I’m saying to the point where I want to scream and cry and I just really need some x reader comfort right now lol, but no pressure of course! Sorry if this is over stepping anything! Have a lovely day/night!

pairing: poly!sinclair x gn!reader

summary: when you get back from a difficult counsellor appointment, the sinclairs try to offer you some comfort

warnings: minor injury detail, blood

a/n: this isn't overstepping at all, i'm happy to write this for you! thank you so much for requesting, sorry it took a while, and i hope you enjoy! <3

also, sorry to hear your counsellor's being so difficult, i know the feeling when people don't listen to you. if you ever need to talk, my dms are always open :)

word count: 905

You were so frustrated you felt like you were about to explode as you walked through the front door of the house, Bo lounging about on the couch, Vincent clearly elsewhere.

It didn't take Bo long to notice something was up, as he stood up from the couch, proceeding to follow you into the kitchen. "The hell's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." You muttered, getting a glass of water as Bo stood beside you, leaning against the counter.

You'd just come back from a counselling session, and they hadn't listened to a word you'd said. You might as well have been talking to a brick wall.

"Well I think we both know that's bullshit, sweetheart." Bo argued, watching you as you leaned over the sink. "So what's the matter with you?"

"It doesn't matter."

Before Bo could say anything else, the front door swung open, Lester walking in with Jonesy happily circling his feet.

He was covered in dirt and smelled like wet dog as he walked into the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge. He didn't even register you and Bo at first, as he sat down at the table with a bottle of orange juice, gulping it down like his life depended on it.

But once he finally acknowledged you both, he became mildly concerned by the agitated look on Bo's face. "You alright, (y/n)?"

"Fine." You answered, turning from the sink, only to crash into Vincent, the glass in your hand falling to the floor.

And that was the final straw, the thing to completely shatter the wall you had put up.

Tears burned your eyes as you bent down to start picking up the broken glass, and you wanted to scream, you wanted to yell at everyone in the room right now.

But all you could do was try desperately to hold back tears as you focused on picking up the glass.

Vincent was soon kneeling in front of you, attempting to help with the cleanup, but if you were being honest, you just wanted to be left alone right now.

All your frustration was bubbling up inside of you now, and you were worried you'd end up taking it out on the brothers, which would've been awful considering they'd done nothing wrong.

You picked up another piece of glass, adding it to the small pile you were creating in the palm of your hand, desperately trying to block everybody out as you did.

But the second Bo's hands came over yours, you were unable to keep yourself calm, turning and shoving him away from you, forgetting about the broken glass that was now enclosed in your fist.

You winced when you felt the glass pierce your skin, warm blood beginning to run across the palm of your hand.

Bo immediately spotted the blood seeping through your fingers, urging you to drop the glass as you opened your hand.

You practically stayed there in silence as Bo helped you up off the floor, instructing Vincent to go and get the first aid kit, telling Lester to clean up the mess.

"And make sure you keep the damn dog away from it. We don't want no more injuries around here." He'd added, as he guided you into the living room, sitting you down on the couch and kneeling in front of you, his hands still cradling your injured one.

"You gonna tell me what's wrong?" He finally asked you, concern in his eyes as he looked up at you.

Silent tears were staining your cheeks as you looked at him, all the pent up emotion finally spilling out of you.

You eventually offered him a brief explanation, to which he was surprisingly understanding.

"Alright, well let's take care of that hand and we can all relax, okay?" He told you.

You gave him a quiet nod, just as Vincent returned with the first aid kit.

He quickly looked you over, his rough hands carefully wrapped around your own as he inspected the injury. And he concluded that it wasn't serious, deciding to simply clean it up and wrap it.

Once he was finished, Bo joined you on the couch, Vincent coming to sit on the other side of you. And you were even more shocked when Bo handed you the remote, considering he never let anybody touch the remote.

A few moments passed and Lester finally arrived in the living room, carrying a slightly stained mug in his hands.

"Thought I'd make you some herbal tea." He smiled, handing you the cup. "Heard it's good for stress and stuff."

You offered him a small smile, before taking a sip of the tea. And it took everything in you not to visibly cringe from the taste. It was fucking digusting, but you still appreciated the gesture.

Lester then joined you all on the couch, his eyes never leaving you as he watched you sipping the tea.

To be completely honest, Bo and Vincent couldn't stop their gaze from wandering to you either. They all just wanted to make sure that you were okay. You meant so much to them, and despite their callous lifestyle, they couldn't bear to see you hurting.

But as you sat with them in front of the TV, a cheesy romance movie playing on the screen, you found that you were at peace. Being here, with your boys, you were home. And you wouldn't want it any other way.

[Main Masterlist]

#the sinclairs #poly!sinclair x reader #the sinclairs x reader #bo sinclair #vincent sinclair #lester sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x reader #lester sinclair x reader #house of wax #house of wax 2005 #slashers #slashers x reader

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parkvcrs · 2 years ago

Text

Discord

SUMMARY: while quarantine is mandated as covid spreads, midoriya downloads a particular app and finds himself crushing on one of its users.

PAIRING: izuku midoriya x fem!reader.

WARNING(S): none. <33

NOTES: this will be a discord au, as you probably suspected because of the title. also, i hope that you all enjoy this since i’m a bit iffy with the final product… :’).

It had been precisely a month or three since U.A. High School had no other choice but to usher their students into a mandatory quarantine due to rising cases of COVID-19 in Japan. All classes were locked inside their respective dormitory buildings and given the number of students contained in such a space, social distancing and other procedures were strictly enforced.

To Midoriya Izuku, he was indifferent to their situation.

While a part of him is grateful to spend more time in his dormitory to focus more on his studies, Izuku couldn’t help but feel saddened. It would be even more difficult to do the physical exertions of his routine. He didn’t want to disturb anyone else in the 1-A building with his workout. That’s when numerous questions began to plague his mind.

When will this all be over? Will things ever be normal? When will he be able to see his mom again, face-to-face?

He was sure getting tired of seeing his classmates every single minute of the day. While it was enjoyable to tie stronger bonds with them all, it was almost like Izuku hardly has any time to focus on himself. To recharge his social battery.

It didn’t take long for Kaminari Denki, Ashido Mina, and Kirishima Eijiro to introduce a few of their classmates — Izuku included — an app called “Discord”. In short, it is a voice, video, and text chat app to use to talk and hang out with their communities and friends.

As soon as it was brought to Izuku’s attention that this app was mainly used to make online friends, he was reluctant to download it. It went against one of the most basic rules that everyone learns as a child. Don’t talk to strangers.

Well, that and not taking candy from them.

However, Izuku was getting desperate. He longed to converse with someone that wasn’t a part of the Heights Alliance dorms. And desperate times call for desperate measures. Swallowing his pride, Izuku bit the bullet and finally decided to download Discord. It took Izuku approximately five minutes flat to create his account but when all was said and done, he stared blankly at his phone when he realized that he didn’t know how to use the app.

“Kaminari,” Izuku said, his gaze remaining on his cellar device as he walked into the living room. “How do I work this thing?” He asked.

“What, your phone?” Iida Tenya raised a brow at the vague inquiry.

“No, no…” Izuku cartoonishly waved his arms around to dismiss the assumption. “I-It’s, well, this app that he keeps bringing up… it’s confusing…” he mumbled under his breath.

“Ah.” Denki awkwardly laughed when this was brought to his attention. “Should’ve given you a heads up about that. Sorry,” he scratched the back of his neck before getting up from his seat and making a beeline towards the renowned green-haired boy. “I’ll give you my account to friend and I’ll just invite you to Mina’s server. Just to get you started.” He briefly explained.

The next few minutes were filled with Mina and Denki luring over Izuku who tried to figure out Discord. He has never had anything like the app before, so his puzzled behaviour was excusable. “So…” Izuku trailed off. “All these people are… strangers to you two?” He tried to strike up a conversation, despite knowing the answer to it.

“Not really, no,” Mina instinctively shook her head. “I’ve known these people for years now. Made sure that they weren’t creeps. If you want to make friends there, I strongly suggest S/n Y/n. She’s a sweetheart.” She crossed her arms over her chest as she praised this so-called ‘Y/n’.

“Oh, yeah! I forgot about her!” Denki admitted. “She’s so cool, man,” he nodded his head in agreement. “She’s that one. Right there.” Denki proceeded to lean over and point at one of the few online accounts on the server.

“What should I do then? Send her a friend request?” Izuku blinked with surprise. He doesn’t know how to talk to girls as it is. He then considered the idea that talking online might slightly be better since Y/n wouldn’t have to bare witness to his rambling.

“I mean, yeah. Do it!” Denki egged on his classmate. Mina followed suit, chanting Izuku’s name.

Succumbing to the peer pressure, Izuku requested to follow Y/n only to have it instantaneously accepted. Wow, that was quick, he thought to himself. As soon as the pair beside him saw that Y/n accepted it, they couldn’t help but smile. “Well,” Mina spoke up and stood to her feet, grabbing a hold of Denki’s sweater to tug on it slightly. Hoping that he’d take the hint. “Hope you two have fun talking. Remember: be yourself.” That had to be the worst piece of advice that Izuku has ever heard.

Izuku could only watch, hopeless, as his two lifelines floated away from him before — inevitably — leaving the premises.

Bashfully peering back down at his phone, Izuku felt a lump form in his throat and his heart drops to the dark abyss in his stomach when seeing that he got a DM from none other than S/n Y/n herself. Chewing on the inside of his cheek, he slowly opened it.

Today at 10:38 PM

y/n.: hello. do i know you?

Deku: No, but I’m friends with Kaminari & Ashido… I just joined Discord and they suggested you to be my first online friend.

y/n.: oh.

y/n.: well… 0-0;; i’m honored??

y/n.: what’s your name?

Deku: Midoriya Izuku but my friends just call me “Deku”. :]

y/n.: in that case, it’s lovely to meet you, deku. my name’s y/n.

The next hour or so was filled with the pair introducing themselves, and discussing their likes, dislikes, and hobbies. Izuku had formed an attachment to Y/n. He didn’t want to, given that he doesn’t know her in real life but his heart had other plans. He didn’t know why he had given the whole idea of making online friends a hard time… perhaps because he is too much of a mother’s boy to disobey Inko. He complied with almost everything she requested of him.

Today at 11:05 PM

y/n.: so…

y/n.: what do you look like?

y/n.: (if you wanna show me ofc. don’t have to)

Deku:

y/n.: oh wow :0

Deku: What?

y/n.: not to be weird but you’re really cute ngl

And as simple as that, Izuku felt his face become flushed. He lays on his bed, surprised, how on earth was he supposed to reply to a compliment like that? It had to be the very first time that someone, aside from his mother, had praised his looks. His heart felt as if it was going a hundred miles per hour. Letting out a shaky sigh, Izuku snapped back into reality and resumed his chat with Y/n.

Today at 11:12 PM

Deku: Really? You think so?

y/n.: i know so. 😭

y/n.: trust me

y/n.: i’m not trying to be weird but you’re, like, a solid 9/10.

No, Izuku thought to himself. This had to be some sort of prank. His situation seemed a little too good to be true. He wasn’t necessarily trying to fess up to the idea of him being easy, but Y/n’s words did affect him greatly. Even so, Izuku didn’t want to crush on someone online.

A crush would make him feel like a weak, soft-hearted little boy. The complete opposite of what he strives to be. It would be a dangerous attachment for when he officially becomes a Pro-Hero.

"Midoriya, you look troubled." Mina points out the obvious as she re-enters his room. Izuku looks away. Despite such measures, the pink-coloured student didn’t miss the red flush on Izuku’s cheeks, and before he can bring it up, Denki burst into the bedroom as well.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! I’m fine,” Izuku reassured, offering them a weak smile in hopes that they wouldn’t notice his apparent blush.

Mina squints, "It's hard to believe you with that expression on your face."

It was true, he was head over heels for Y/n.

“I…” Izuku was at a loss for words and looked like a deer in headlights. “I’m sorry?” He apologized, despite it not being needed. It was really the only thing he could do other than to usher his friends out of his bedroom.

“Don’t say that!” Mina waved off Izuku’s apology. “How’s Y/n?” She eventually asked.

“S-She’s nice.”

“Oh?” Denki raised a brow at the statement. “Well, just so you know, she’s been texting us at the same time,” he said, matter-of-factly. “She’s a complete simp.” He finished.

“Simp?” Izuku cocked his head at the term as his eyebrows knitted together with subtle confusion. He had absolutely no idea what it meant.

“She likes you, Deku.” Mina spelt it out for him and, at this statement, Izuku’s mouth is left hung agape. “Okay, we told him,” she harshly whispers and looks up at Denki. “Let’s get out of here.” They closed the door behind themselves but their muffled giggles can be heard as clear as day.

She likes me, Deku smiled to himself.

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desultory-suggestions · 1 year ago

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just asking for advice, you're not forced to answer ofc

i struggle a lot with motivation, when i force myself to do things, it just doesn't feel right, and i feel so guilty about it, things like going to school or even brushing my teeth, it's all pointless and physically exhausting

idk if i'm just lazy or smt

anyway, any tips for folks with low motivation?

Hello, love! Thank you for your patience. Motivation is such a common struggle. I use some unconventional study and motivation tactics personally, as someone with ADHD and Dyslexia I have to get through a lot of nonsense to do basic things. First, you are not lazy! The idea today of laziness is very frustrating to me, and I feel is built on capitalist (and white supremacist) ideals. See the NAP Ministry.

According to The (USA) National Library of Medicine, "Executive dysfunction is commonly seen in major depression. The types of executive deficits seen in depression include problems with planning, initiating, and completing goal-directed activities." Anyone struggling with depression, whether an episode or long-term can struggle with these basic tasks. So how can we deal with this?

Some different techniques that may help:

Talk through the tasks you need to do out loud. You can discuss them in linear order or not. Don't focus on making them perfect and detailed, just explain it like you would to a friend.

Explain what you are doing as if someone is watching you/you're teaching someone. This is how I motivate myself when studying/working out/etc. and shows you that you do know what you are doing.

Break tasks down into smaller pieces to help them be more manageable, or simplify the ones that seem too complicated. (For this I need to do x, then y, then z. I don't need to overthink brushing my teeth, it's okay to just go do it.

Ask someone to be your accountability buddy. Body doubling/parallel play can be very useful. I ask my partner to brush his teeth with me so I have someone else there.

Accept that you don't need to do 100% of everything. You can't brush, floss, and use mouthwash? Okay brush for even just thirty seconds, it's better than nothing!

Utilize tools, but don't try to make it fancy. Aesthetics can be helpful and motivating, they can also apply pressure to make everything look good. Google Calendar or a messy notebook is good enough.

Surrounds tasks with cushioning time to relax. Even for little tasks, you can promise yourself rest before and after. Likewise, do enjoyable things during arduous tasks. Watch a silly video, playa. song!

Consider what the biggest obstacle is. Does it feel pointless? Do you want to do it? If not, why not? How can you change what is making you avoidant? If you do want to, what feels like it's stopping you? A specific fear? Or an impenetrable wall? These questions help define the next steps.

Accept you cannot do everything, especially not when you are suffering. You deserve help and it's okay to ask for it. Professional help is important when conquering issues with motivation whether from depression, ADHD, etc. Medications, therapy, and more can improve your mood.

Some tools I use:

Brushout - An app to help you brush your teeth for the right amount of time. Simple, and makes a nice dinging sound. Can be added as a widget to your home screen on iPhones.

Google Calendar - Also simple. Easy to click and add events and get reminders for things creeping up on you.

Mnemosyne Notebook - Ok the brand doesn't matter but the paper in this is so smooth and it makes me want to use it. But yes a notebook to organize thoughts.

Little Treats - I like to keep little snacks and treats around for working on things I have been struggling with. You don't have to wait until after, let yourself fuse joy with your efforts.

You do not need to be ashamed for struggling. No matter the reason or the manner, we all go through difficult things. Reach out, and don't give up. Feel free to ask for more information or advice again.

Best,

Evan

#asks #anon #motivation #executive dysfunction #procrastination #depressiom #adhd #education #school #studyblr #depressive episode

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livinginncity · 2 years ago

Text

A Dance Like Waves

A Neteyam x Reader

Chapter 1

Warnings: mention of self-suturing and blood? teensy bit of cursing. drowning.

Word Count: 4.1K

Masterlist || Chapter 2

————————————————————

Waking up after a six year cryo-sleep was expectedly a difficult adjustment, both in body and mind. Physically, there was fairly heavy muscle loss and the task of simply moving your body around felt like a punishment fit to rival that of Sisyphus. Mentally, it was like a groggy haze overtook as your brain pressed the button for autopilot, lasting even after you finally touched ground on this planet called Pandora.

Y/N was currently sitting through test after test of her motor skills and soon after they tested her resolve. At least that was how she saw it. They asked her many questions, many seeming too specific, as if trying to weed out any who might oppose their agenda. So she answered with what she suspected they wanted to hear: patriotism, agreeableness, and an indifference to controversy. Once seemingly satisfied with her results, they unhooked her and sent her from the lab.

It wasn’t until she was lead to a room with many rows of beds, that the fog finally began to clear. She could see a few kids around her age sitting on some of the cots, and more seemed to trickle in behind her as she made her way to claim one for herself. She set the brown duffle they all seemed to have received underneath the wire frame and began to look through it. Inside were two sets of clothes and shoes, one likely for sleeping and the other seemed to be for something more active, and the footwear was a pair of slippers and tennis shoes. There were basic toiletries and feminine hygiene products, as well as what looked to be a metal Rubik’s cube with small lined patterns as opposed to colors. What truly peaked the girl’s interest though, was the small tablet and file folder tucked snugly underneath it all.

She reached in to take both out carefully, making brief note of the notebook, pen, and pencil that had been there too. Deciding to first inspect the small device, she set the folder aside and turned it on. It immediately opened to a standard factory set home screen with only three or four applications. The first was the camera, second was photos, third was for notation, and the fourth was labeled Na’vi. She opened the last of the bunch and discovered that it seemed to be a language dictionary. As she explored more, she found that it was more than that, seemingly meant to teach the language.

She set that aside after a few minutes of scrolling through word after word, and replaced it with the dark blue folder that had accompanied it. When she flipped it open she saw her personal file on the left side, showing information such as age, sex, race, nationality and even ethnicity and religion. And that was just the first page, but what really caught her attention was clipped to the other side of the folder. It still sported many pages, but the top one read “ASSIGNMENT: METKAYINA” and had a picture of humanoid beings with skin that fell between a shade of turquoise blue and turquoise green. Their forearms were wide and their bodies were striped lighter, some sported dark tattoos and the clothing was minimal, but discernible as traditional. And it almost seemed…beachy? That’s what came to her mind as she tried to analyze every part of the photo.

What stopped this was the slamming of the large metal doors they had come in through, lifting her head and noticing that the room had filled in quite a bit, half of the beds now being occupied. She allowed her attention to again find the voice that came from the front of the room. A tall man in a military uniform stood there with a hardened expression and a woman in a lab coat at his side.

“Listen up! You have been sent here to help our planet Earth. This lady here next to me’ll explain the specific details, but what I will tell you is that everyday you will be trained to fight and survive. Earth is dying and we are at war with the inhabitants of this planet because we now need somewhere else to go. We have tried the peaceful route and it has been set back countless times, so you are the last attempt. You will learn the ways of these people and you will feed us information from the inside. We will do our best to give them what they want without forceful means, but we will not hesitate if that is what it comes down to. You will be up every morning by 0400 and in the mess hall by 0500! I suggest you get settled fast or you will be dropped like a fly! Remember, you are here because there’s no one to miss you back there. Doctor.”

And with that the hard ass handed the speech over to the scientist lady and walked out, leaving her with an annoyed grimace and a room full of confused and anxious teenagers. She explained that when we were done with our physical training, we would spend time in our Avatars to acclimate to the bodies and study the culture of Na’vis, undergoing specialized studies for our specific assignment a few times a week. The teens who all seemed to be engaging in fun conversations and learning about each other were now in a tangibly grim mood. No one knew what to expect going forward and the reality settled in that they were now no more than 14-15 year old orphans who would be trained as weapons. It was quiet up until lights out and many laid awake that night, brains running a mile a minute until sunrise.

That was a year a ago.

“C’mon! You can do better than that, Y/N!” The blue boy wore a shit eating grin as he managed to knock said girl on her ass for the second time that day. She huffed as she stood and resumed her fighting stance.

“Don’t think just because you’ve finally managed to get a few wins in means you’re at all better than me. I mean it’s taken you what? As long as we’ve been training?” Her lip curled as he charged her, managing to strike a nerve which would soon be followed by one or two strikes to the gut as she managed to get his head tucked between her armpit and torso. It was enough for her to drop her hands to the collar of his shirt, as well as the entirety of her weight onto the ground, using her legs to push him over her with the momentum it allowed her to build. She quickly positioned herself over him and placed the wooden knife to his throat with a hiss. It made the boy flinch and he reluctantly tapped the ground he now laid on, eliciting a smile from the girl’s face as she stood and reached a hand out. He scowled at the gesture and slapped the lighter blue hand she held out away to stand by himself.

“Whatever.”

“Come on, dude! I was just messing around with yo—“ Her voice halted upon hearing sirens, one’s she was sure signaled nothing good.

They were eventually all gathered into the barracks from their link pods and lined up as they were taught. Chaos and all sorts of commotion could be heard outside the doors they had grown familiar with over the last year. The kids stood in their workout gear with faces that tried to mask the concern they were feeling, and they didn’t feel any better when unfamiliar soldiers came in with SCARs in hand.

“What’s going on out there? What’s happening?” A voice finally spoke up, but Y/N’s dread increased tenfold as it was quickly met with a shout of ‘shut up.’

“LINE UP!” The soldiers lined in front of them, about five of them to each row of ten kids. A panic began to permeate the room as realization kicked in. “AIM!” That was enough to get people moving, making attempts to run towards the door. At this, a final command was given, “FIRE!”

Suddenly, whatever was happening outside was irrelevant because what was going on in here had to be much worse. Some tried to fight back, but it was as though their training had been for nothing as they were simply shot down. Some froze in place, either accepting their fate or too shocked to try and save themselves. Y/N kicked at the man in front of her and made a brief sprint for the door before she slid under one of the many rows of beds, crawling under in an attempt to avoid getting shot. Her breathing was rapid and panicked as she saw body after body of her friends fall, their blood finding it’s way all over her as she lugged her body over theirs. She had to avoid slipping in it as she finally raised to a crouch in front of the door and looked around, the eye contact made with a soldier was enough to get her to abandon all attempts at a plan and shove her body at the metal doors. She made it through despite the shots taken at her and she ran the hardest she had ever run.

Y/N knew this building like the back of her hand, and so she decided to trust in her instincts and trainings. First, she had to make her way to the lab. She couldn’t stay here among the soldiers or lab coats anymore, and she would need whatever she could grab to survive out there. She ducked behind wall after wall hearing the footsteps behind her and eventually found herself hiding on the pipes attached to the ceiling. She waited minutes while holding her breath as they passed by a few times, deciding to split up for a better chance at finding the girl. She lowered herself down after leaving her shoes to remain up there and followed distantly from the soldier that had taken a path towards the lab. With almost every room in the building having windows, she could see that the facility had been mostly cleared out.

Whatever. Less risk of getting my ass shot, I guess. Y/N thought as she decreased the distance behind the soldier. She decided to pounce just before they reached the lab, putting him in a chokehold from behind and slipping the knife from the strap on his leg. She didn’t allow herself to think as she drove the blade into his heart, quickly dragging him through the doors of the room she had been trying to get to and setting him out of sight of any possible passerby. “I did not want to kill you, but you have killed my friends, my brothers and sisters, and you would have done the same to me.”

With that she plucked the knife from his chest and moved on to find what she needed. Finding one of the backpacks the scientists would use for outdoor exploration, she checked what was already in it. A first-aid kit, map, gps, sampling supplies and water and MREs. She tossed the sampling stuff and packed in another first-aid kit, more waters, and two additional oxygen tanks with a mask. The gps was small enough to fit in her pocket, so that’s exactly where she put it, opting to empty its current contents into the bag instead. As she moved to exit the room, her eyes scanned over the soldier again. She took the holster meant for knives and fastened it to herself. She patted around for anything else and found their communicator, she hooked it on and made a grab for his gun. She hesitated for a second, but ultimately decided it’d be better to have it than not if she wanted to survive.

She dipped out of the lab after scanning the hall, listening to the soldiers speak over their comm links. She had two more stops to make. The trip to the armory was a quiet one, fueling her anxiousness a bit more, but as she retrieved one more thing and got herself strapped into the AMP, she figured her heart could handle any surprise attacks from now. There was no point in trying to be sneaky or quiet in the giant metal suit, there were activation sensors on just about anything that could be activated, so she ran to her final destination in the base. The place where they kept their Avatars. It was easy enough to break down the door and get in, but more alarms sounding prompted the girl to move in double time, scooping up her Avatar and making a break for it through the last gates of the facility. Shooting could be heard behind and she did her best to shield the body from any potential bullets.

She looked at the gps and made her way towards the beach as fast as she could. Once she arrived, she tucked the body between some rocks on the shore, and charged back into the forest along a route leading past the sands and into the heart of the wilds of Pandora. She knew that soon she would hear stomping from the direction of the base and decided that it was either a reckless move that gets her killed or inaction that does it. She’s always had a bit of a reckless streak, so she grabbed the gps after taking a quick glance at it and chucked it as far as she could with the arm of the AMP. And then she made the call.

No one in the group of teens had really talked about life before Pandora. Occasionally they would bring up their hobbies or celebrities they had fawned for, but most of what they knew had been taken over in just a year by the strenuous training they would undergo. So the information that resided in her mind had more to do with this planet and it’s inhabitants than it did Earth. That’s why the Palulukan call she yelled was almost perfect. She did it a few times before securing the oxygen mask to her face and hip, and freeing herself of the AMP’s straps. She wriggled out of her bloodied sweats and used the knife to cut a few long and thick tears in them. She suddenly got the feeling of being watched, and opted to just start yelling as she prepared herself for the very risky, very dumb move she was about to make.

“Come on out, baby! You wanna piece of me, don’t you? Well, let’s feast!” A sound was heard behind and she looked up to see the giant beast jump over to land in front. Her breath hitched, as it was the first she had seen one up close in real life, and she held her breath while she waited for the right moment. The two stared at each other in anticipation, neither moving until Y/N moved to twitch the arm of the suit upon hearing steps coming towards her, and the Palulukan pounced. Knocking the suit over and putting most of its weight on the top window of the suit. Perfect.

The eject button was a god send in these suits whenever the glass would break, and it was enough force send it flying many meters away, meaning it sent the large animal not far, but luckily onto its back. She jumped out of the suit, backpack on, and pants in hand to sprint back in the direction of the beach. She just managed to toss the pants into a gangle of fallen trees and hide just out sight, dropping down into the mud. The palulukan scratched at the trees before turning, unsuccessful in its findings, and tilting its head as it made its way in the direction of Y/N’s current position. Her heart skipped as she began to feel that maybe she wasn’t as skilled as she thought she was, even with the crunch time planning. She tensed her muscles, ready to get moving at any moment, praying that she would somehow find a way out of this mess alive, and then she heard it. The voices of soldiers who had found the now abandoned AMP. And she was not the only one, the large animal in front of her snapping it’s head towards the noise and sprinting for it.

She released the breath she had been holding and broke into another sprint. It felt like all she had been doing was running, and her body was sore, lungs aching. But she couldn’t take the risk of being caught, not by the soldiers and certainly not by a palulukan.

She could feel tears of relief brimming as the sand finally came into view, and she dropped the backpack from her shoulders to retrieve what would hopefully save her. A small self-inflatable raft. She moved her Avatar towards the edge of the water and pulled the handle that would open it. As soon as it was done, she tossed her bag into it and tied the raft to some rocks so she could help her Avatar into it. Before she pushed off the shore, she ran to the edge of the forest, grabbing some fruits she recognized as safe to eat from her time studying the flora and fauna of Pandora. The whole time she did this, her eyes were trained on the trees.

It was only once the land had turned to a small speck on the horizon that she allowed her mind to focus elsewhere. That elsewhere being the pain in her side. She doubled over, cursing under her breath, as she realized that adrenaline was one hell of a drug. She allowed herself a singular moment of self-pity before switching into survival mode. Feeling around her torso, she couldn’t find an exit wound, meaning that the bullet was still inside. She had to make a decision here, leave the bullet and hope her body will be able to heal around it or take it out and hope the blood loss isn’t too significant. The pros and cons of both were obvious, and with no x-ray to tell where exactly the bullet was, she would have to rely on a gut feeling, for lack of better words. She concluded that she didn’t have the right type of supplies to make up for low iron, and that digging around would only increase the rate at which blood flooded from her body.

Y/N couldn’t help but release a deep sigh as she looked at the shirt she had been wearing, pulled off from her body to soak up the blood and apply pressure to the new hole in her stomach. She reached for one of the first-aid kits and prepared a needle and thread. While they were all trained to fight, they were also taught to survive. Part of that entailed learning to stitch wounds should they ever find themselves in a less than pleasant situation. She was one of the best, often tasked with patching up her friends in the facility after a heavy sparring day or practical training. Or when they just decided to do something stupid. The girl chuckled to herself at the memory as she knotted the the thread to the curved needle.

Taking a deep breath in and stuffing a less bloodied part of her shirt between her teeth, she began. She figured that this wasn’t a time to care about the aesthetics of her body and that her main goal should be to stop the bleeding, so she chose to do a purse-string suture. This being a bullet wound, the process wasn’t supposed to be long or complicated, but with no pain meds she was forced to endure it longer than she would have liked. The needle followed the outline of the wound, penetrating the surrounding skin four times before she began to tie it off. She inhaled as she mentally prepared herself to pull the thread taught, a shout released from her as she did so, a process she would repeat twice more.

The impromptu procedure left her exhausted and slightly delirious, so she simply sat back and observed what was around her. Her eyes first scanned the waters around her. She could no longer see any land and the ocean was a dark blue. She looked to her Avatar and allowed her eyes to trace her features. It was obvious that, being grown with her DNA, she would find some similarities, and it was obvious that it was her, but the differences fascinated her far more. The wide forearms and flat tail meant for wading waters, how her skin was of a shade like a clear sea, the lighter lines that striped her body, and the freckles that would glow as it got darker.

Darker. Shit. A small panic once again overtook the girl as she realized eclipse had approached far sooner than she had expected or would have liked. While she had spent the last year studying nothing but the Na’vi and the creatures inhabiting the planet, it was impossible for her to know everything, and it was safe to assume that the ocean on Pandora remained just as undiscovered as the one on Earth. She couldn’t see much around her anymore and a melancholic feeling began to plague her thoughts.

What is the point in surviving? Without the link pod, she cannot control her Avatar, and outside of that body, her chances of survival were diminished severely. She couldn’t breathe the air and remain conscious for more than twenty seconds, and while she could move well enough in her human form, it would be harder to hunt in an unfamiliar environment. She would also be alone. As far as she knew, all of her friends had been killed in that facility, and it wasn’t like there were any humans on this planet that wouldn’t kill her. The Na’vi would be more sympathetic and even then she expected little more than a swift death. She laid down next to the curled form of her Avatar and stared at the stars.

“Eywa, Great Mother. Please do not let me die here. I know I ask more of you than I deserve, my kind has done nothing but harm your creations and mined this planet for resources. I understand that it is selfish, but I cannot die like this, not now. Those people killed my friends, my brothers and sisters, without a bat of the eye. I do not ask for your help to achieve revenge, but to assist you in the protection of these beautiful people and creatures. So that what has happened to me, to my family, may never happen again. I do want to live, but if you allow me, Great Mother, I will do it for you.”

Not long after her prayer, the girl drifted off, the waves calm and offering some comfort to lull her to sleep, giving her a small bit of peace needed after such a day.

That peace did not last long. She awoke to being thrown against the side of her raft, crammed between its wall and her unconscious Avatar. With much struggle, she managed to escape the tight trap. Though, upon taking in her surroundings, a large part of her wishes she just hadn’t woken up at all. A storm raged strong around her, each drop of rain feeling like pellets that would leave her skin speckled in small bruises, and the waves tossed the entire raft and its contents around like it was nothing which, in the grand scheme of things, it probably was. The girl did her best to hold on, but it proved futile as her Avatar was tossed from the boat and, soon after, she followed. Her face hit the side of the raft as her body gave way to the movement of the waves, the oxygen mask knocked from her body as she fell into the ocean. She held her breath for as long as she could, being able to hold it for a long time after her training, but given the rough conditions of the water and the sheer difference in lung size, she would last nowhere near as long as she could in her Avatar.

Eywa, help me. She thought as her body fought to make it back to the raft. She was almost there, just underneath it, a few more strokes and she should be able to haul herself onto it. That was until something came barreling at the back of her head.

Her body instantly went slack and any air that remained in her lungs, she watched float to the surface as her vision blackened. She could feel the water begin to overtake her lungs, her body convulsing. It was painful as she tried to hold on to consciousness, feeling a burn take over.

So she let go.

more will be up shortly, just had to establish a little origin story. :)

#avatar #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #atwow #atwow x reader #atwow neteyam #neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam x y/n

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