#different to what I used to post on here sorry to any legacy followers :(((

[boomcrunch]

arrested for gay crimes

[fluentmoviequoter]

Save You Again

Requested Here!

>> Part 2: Reminiscent of Us

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!veteran!doctor!wife!reader (you're like Barbie)

Summary: Years after meeting on a battlefield, you have to save your husband Tim again. This time, you're married and in the hospital where you work.

Warnings: canon typical warnings, injuries and medical treatment, Nolan slander, fluff

Word Count: 1.5k+ words

Masterlist Directory | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info

“Tim!” Nolan calls. When Tim turns, already glaring, he slows and amends, “Sorry, uh, Sergeant Bradford. As your union rep-”

“Cut to the chase, Nolan,” Tim implores.

“Yeah, of course. LAPD is hosting an event for military veterans on the force, and I’ve been tasked with electing a few of those vets to speak about their experience and the legacy they want to leave.”

“No,” Tim interjects.

“But you fit the bill exactly and surely you have a lot of wisdom you can pass on. I mean, you were a TO.”

“I’m not giving a speech, Nolan. I’ll go if forced to, but that’s it.”

“Not even for your fellow vets?” Nolan tries.

“Nice try, Nolan, but he’s going to say no,” Wade says from his office doorway. “Tell him why, Bradford.”

Tim turns toward Wade, then sighs. “Most vets that join the force try to keep the two separate. The ones I know, at least. The military was a job – a hard one – and this is too. But they’re different. Celebrate the vets, thank them, but don’t undermine the work they did or what they’re doing now by comparing the duties.”

“Oh, I hadn’t thought of it that way,” Nolan murmurs.

“Shocking.”

“Well, I’m going to go talk to some other reps and try to make this right. You have my word.”

“Seem to have a lot of words.”

“If you know any vets who would be willing to speak, let me know.”

“I will,” Tim assures him, thinking of one veteran in particular.

“Tim, we got a hit on our San Vincente killer from this morning,” Angela alerts. “You with us?”

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Tim agrees, following behind Angela.

“I’ll keep you updated!” Nolan calls after him.

“On behalf of Bradford,” Wade deadpans. “Thanks. Now get back to work, plan parties on your rep time, not my time.”

“Yes, sir.”

“He’s hemorrhaging!” someone alerts.

“How is he still hemorrhaging?” another asks. “There’s a tourniquet.”

You slip your fingers under the tourniquet and feel the stabbing patient’s pulse fading. Pulling the band tighter, you use your weight to stop blood circulation. After it’s secure and the bleeding has slowed, you look at the residents around you.

“Somebody clip that tourniquet, so it stays in place,” you demand.

“That’s not hospital policy,” a recent hire argues.

“This man is bleeding out, tell me about policy after I’ve saved his life,” you snap. “Gauze!”

Within seconds, someone places an entire pack of gauze in your hand. It’s been cut open already, so you murmur your gratitude and put the end of the gauze over your dominant hand. The doctors and nurses around you slow as you pack the wound. Holding the gauze against the wound, you watch your watch. It’s been a while since you used your tactical medic training, but if this procedure works, it will have saved yet another life.

“Get a trauma surgeon here stat,” you instruct. “I suspect he has a nicked brachial artery. He needs a blood transfusion now; estimated 35% of blood volume has been lost.”

“Surgeon’s five minutes out,” a nearby doctor replies.

“Prep an OR,” you say as you begin wrapping the temporary fix.

As the man is wheeled away to go into surgery, you remove your bloody gloves and sigh as you wash your hands. Being a medic in the military was stressful, and despite working a civilian job that entails many of the same job elements, you love being an ER doctor in Los Angeles. You’ve been state-side for years, and you wouldn’t change a thing about your life post-deployment.

“Dr. Bradford!” a nurse yells as she runs down the hallway. “Three cops were just attacked, ambulance is en route.”

You don’t hesitate to run after her, nearing the ER entrance with your heart pounding in your ears.

“Who’s the president?”

Tim blinks against the harsh light above him as his surroundings come back into focus.

“Sir, can you hear me? What’s your name?”

There are people – two, from the number of hands he feels – working around him.

“I’m not concussed,” Tim groans, then immediately regrets speaking.

“You were blown up, Sergeant,” the second EMT points out. “We’re just doing our jobs.”

Tim remembers it then. The arrest should have been easy, but the San Vincente killer had wanted it to seem that way. His plan was to go out in a blaze of glory and take as many people out with him as he could, and it would have worked if Tim hadn’t seen the crude device tucked beneath the dining room table. He, Angela, and Nyla had barely managed to get out before the house blew apart behind them.

“Lopez and Harper?” Tim asks.

“Better off than you,” the first man answers. “They’ll meet you at the hospital.”

Tim falls silent for several breaths, grateful that they’re okay. “Which hospital?” he asks.

He hears the answer, thinks of the last doctor he saw in the Middle East, and loses consciousness again.

“Detective Lopez!” you call as she enters the emergency room. “Are you alright?”

She raises her fingers to her cheek, following your line of sight, and says, “Yes, I’m fine. Is-”

Before she finishes her question, two EMTs wheel Tim Bradford in on a gurney. You rush to his side and listen to their findings and opinions.

“…no sign of concussion or penetrating ballistic injuries,” they conclude.

“Got him,” you assure them as your team takes the gurney. “Thank you.”

“Take care of him!” Angela says as you push through the double doors into the treatment area.

“We’ll identify the degree of blast injuries for treatment and stabilization,” you announce.

“What comes after quinary injuries?” Tim groans.

“Nothing,” you answer, running your gloved hands carefully over his arms and legs. “No such thing as senary blast injuries.”

“I’m fine.”

“You were blown at least ten feet, Sergeant,” you argue. “There are – minimum – some contusions that we need to find.”

Tim begins to argue, but you shush him as you press your stethoscope to his chest.

“Ingest anything?” you inquire softly.

“Not that I know of,” he answers. “My wrist hurts, but otherwise, I’m just sore.”

You radio for radiology to prepare an x-ray before you lift his arm carefully. His wrist is bruising and swelling, so you assume it’s likely broken, but there are no exposed bones or blood, so it’s not a compound fracture.

“Should I prep tetanus prophylaxis?” a nurse inquires.

“No, he’s up-to-date for the last three years,” you answer without looking away from Tim’s wrist. “I’m going to stabilize this for now, Sergeant.”

“Nurse Lisa!” you call. “Can you bring the detectives in here? Thanks.”

“What are you doing?” Tim asks.

“They’re worried about you,” you explain. “They watched you get slung by an explosion; you know what that can do to people.”

Tim reaches his uninjured hand across his body to lay on your arm. He whispers, “I’m okay.”

“Your wrist is broken,” you argue. “And you still could have a minor head injury, which is why you’re getting a CT.”

“Oh my gosh!” Lucy exclaims as she enters the room.

“What are you doing here?” Tim asks.

“We heard the radio call and were nearby,” Aaron explains. “Are you okay?”

“I’d rather hear your opinion on that, doc,” Nyla requests.

“He got lucky,” you answer, setting his wrist down on a pillow before placing an ice pack over it. Tim hisses in pain, and you frown. “Aside from a probably broken wrist and a potential concussion, which would be minor based on his lack of symptoms, he should be fine after a few days of rest.”

“And his horrible facial disfigurement?” Angela asks.

Tim’s brows raise at her teasing, and he shakes his head. His hand moves to the side of the pillow, and you quietly ask that he place it back in its elevated position.

“Yeah, sorry,” Tim murmurs before looking back at his fellow officers. “What?” he asks when he sees the shocked look on their faces.

“I’ve never heard you apologize,” Aaron points out.

“Yeah, you’re acting different,” Nolan says.

“Oh!” Lucy exclaims before bouncing.

“Head trauma,” Tim reminds her.

“You’re the wife he refuses to show pictures of, aren’t you?” she asks.

“The wife is real?” Aaron inquires. “I thought it was some kind of scare tactic he used to make sure you had his six. You know like I have to get home to someone.”

“He does have to get home,” you interrupt. “And, yes, I’m Sergeant Bradford’s wife.”

“Radiology’s ready,” someone alerts from the doorway.

“He’s all yours,” you say, helping to turn the gurney as you request a CT with the x-ray. “Behave,” you tell Tim.

“You don’t all have to wait around,” Tim says.

“We’re taking your wife to dinner,” Nyla responds. “You can get an Uber when you’re released.”

You wink at him, a silent promise to be here when he returns. He knows he’ll be out of work for a few days, and if this is anything like the last time you saved Tim Bradford, you’ll be by his side until he’s healed and for a very long time.

“I’ll get you back to work as soon as I can, Mr. Bradford,” you promise. “If you listen to me, it could be even faster.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles. “I love you.”

Lucy gasps, but all Tim hears is your honest reply, “I love you more.”

[zaundads]

Ultimate Zaundads Quote guides

All the important Zaundads Quotes

I was reading this post on iconic couple quotes and I realized that this is kinda hard for Zaundads considering they have like two scenes where they actually talk to each other. So it's hard not to do "well, just everything". Still, here are all the best ones, highlightes for my faves.

"I trusted you. And you betrayed me."

"I'll show you what you really are."

"I hated you, but you kept my respect."

"I hated you for what you'd done. But as time passed, so did my hate. "

"What I did to you… I've never forgiven myself."

"Greatest thing we can do in life is find the power to forgive."

"What's the point if we can't raise an ankle biter or two?"

"We shared a vision, Vander. A dream of freedom. Not just for the Lanes, but the whole of the underground, united as one. The nation of Zaun. Do you even remember?"

"I had no choice." - "Perhaps. But now you do. Shimmer. We have the power. We can finally realize our dream,"

"Silco. Let her go. This is between you and me." - "You had your chance."

"You'd die for the cause, but you won't fight for one? "

"I knew you still had it in you."

"Ever wonder what it's like to drown? Story of opposites. There's peace in water. Like it's holdin' you, whisperin' in low tones to let it in. And every problem in the world will fade away. But then there's this thing… …in your head, and it's raging. Lighting every nerve with madness. To fight. To survive. And all the while, this question lingers before you: "Have you had enough?" It's funny. You could pass a lifetime without ever facing a choice like that. But it changes you forever. For that, I thank you… old friend."

"Oh, it all makes sense now, brother."

"A thousand times I've imagined this moment. Never like this. All we ever wanted."

"You hear that, Bozo 2? We made it. We're done. Oh, you're sadly mistaken. I'm Bozo 1."

"I've looked everywhere, but… it's clear you don't wanna be found. God, I'm shit at this. I'm sorry. When she died, I lost my head. I told myself what I did to you was for the greater good, that you deserved it. But the dirt was on both our hands. Anyway, you know where to find me. Blisters and bedrock. V."

"If he found this, everything might have been different."

Bonus "indirect quotes"

"Benzo, stay back. […] Wait!" (Vander not wanting Benzo to attack Silco)

"We had nothing. You know what bore us through those times? Loyalty. Brothers and sisters back-to-back against whatever the world threw at us. Now I'm forced to share the air with parasites like you, who leach off their legacies."

"Tonight a harebrained scheme these two bozos cooked up to turn a dank crack in the earth into a thriving, healthy community became a reality."

"He isn't a monster. He was once a man. Well respected, at that. Victim of great tragedy. He had a ferocious will to live. An incredible tolerance for pain. With him, I was able to make strides impossible with any other specimen. But the mind... The mind I could not recover. The man forever lost in the bowels of the beast, compelled only by the scent of blood. Or so I thought. It now seems I had yet to uncover the right catalyst. S: Blisters and bedrock." (Singed in 2x05, followed by Warwick's nightmare of Silco)

"I saw your father. His dream of your family and vision of Zaun as it could have been, it was… beautiful." (Viktor about Vander in 2x08)

"So there's a chance for us yet." (Silco to Vander in 2x07)

Merchant: "This is vile." Vander: "You'll learn to love it." (Vander about Zaunite tobacco)

"There's worse things than enforcers out there." (Vander about ?? Silco? Other Zaunite criminals? )

"Fear haunts us all, child." (Silco about ?? The dreams he has about Vander drowning him?)

"Betrayal, that pain that feels like it'll eat you from the inside out,"

"You two are gonna figure this Zaun thing out. I don't care if you have to carve it out of the bedrock, covered in blisters. You're not allowed to fail anymore."

"Nearly forgot. I ran into an old friend of yours. He had some stories. You weren't always the peacekeeper, were you? - Yeah, well, you can't escape the past. Right?"" (Marcus and Vander about Silco)

"You told me a million times. [...] Blah, blah, blah [...]" (Jinx complaining about just how often Silco talks about Vander)

"Silco thinks he made Jinx, with all his rants and his hard-won lessons. "Excise your doubts, Jinx." "Be what they fear, Jinx." Like everything was the same as when Vander left him."

Did I forget any? What is your ultimate Silco and Vander quote?

Bonus:

Full dialogue of selected scenes under the cut:

Silco and Vander in 1x03: S: It's a little crude, I'll admit. The base violence necessary for change. But we both know topside won't listen to anything else. V: Even with your monsters, you won't win a war against Piltover. S: I don't have to. I just need to scare them. They won't dare set foot in the underground again. V: You'll get people killed. For what? Pride? S: For respect. Opportunity. Everything they've denied us. V: You had my respect. The Lanes' respect, but that… that was never enough for you. S: We shared a vision, Vander. A dream of freedom. Not just for the Lanes, but the whole of the underground, united as one. The nation of Zaun. Do you even remember? I trusted you. And you betrayed me. V: What I did to you… I've never forgiven myself. You were my brother. S: No, you still don't understand. Can you imagine what it's like? When your blood mixes with the filth and the river toxins eat through your nerves. Oh, I hated you for what you'd done. But as time passed, so did my hate. And I was left with an understanding. The only way to defeat a superior enemy is to stop at nothing. To become what they fear. I hated you, but you kept my respect. Until you made peace with them. Played lapdog after everything we suffered. V: I had no choice. S: Perhaps. But now you do. Shimmer. We have the power. We can finally realize our dream, brother. V: Look at what you've done. Benzo. These kids. In fighting topside, you'd sacrifice everything that we are. It's not the way. Can't you see that? kill me if you have to, but please spare the Lanes. S: You'd die for the cause, but you won't fight for one? V: I'm just… not that man anymore. S: I'll show you what you really are.

Jinx and Silco 1x05:

S: I almost drowned in these waters. J: You told me a million times. S:Vander wasn't the man you thought he was. J: Right, he was like a brother to you, and he turned his back and blah, blah, blah. Did I miss anything? S: I've got a new one for you. That day, I let a weak man die. And another was reborn. Betrayal, that pain that feels like it'll eat you from the inside out, can either break you or forge you into something greater. You need to let Powder die. So the fear of pain will no longer control you. You're strong now. Just like you were always meant to be. Jinx is perfect.

Silco vs Chembarons 1x07: Have you forgotten where we came from? The mines they had us in? Air so thick it clogged your throat. Stuck in your eyes. But I pulled you all up from the depths. Offered you a taste of topside. And fresh air. I gave you life. Purpose. But you've grown fat and complacent. Too much time in the sun. We came from a world where there was never enough to go around, Finn. That is why we fight. Do you remember?

Silco vs Finn 2x09: S: I'm busy. F: When you took Vander out of play, I thought, "Now here's a man who understands what it takes to run an enterprise." The attitude, the instinct, the eye. The whole package, you were. Always two steps ahead. But time's lapped you, old man. S: You're with him, are you? F: You screwed up, Silco. S: You're too young to remember what the undercity was before it became an "enterprise".We had nothing. You know what bore us through those times? Loyalty. Brothers and sisters back-to-back against whatever the world threw at us. Now I'm forced to share the air with parasites like you, who leach off their legacies. F: Today's the day you die, Silco. S: That's a risk I've known all my life. But I still believe in loyalty.

Silco at the Vander statue: S: A thousand times I've imagined this moment. Never like this. All we ever wanted. The boy didn't even haggle. And what do I lose but problems? Oh, it all makes sense now, brother. Is there anything so undoing as a daughter?

Vander, SIlco and Felicia in 2x05:

V: What's the occasion? F: Hmm. Can't a lady just be in the mood for a familiar song? V: Not this lady, and not this song. F: Tonight a harebrained scheme these two bozos cooked up to turn a dank crack in the earth into a thriving, healthy community became a reality. V: Tonight, eh? You hear that, Bozo 2? We made it. We're done. S: Oh, you're sadly mistaken. I'm Bozo 1. V: A night of revelations. F: I'm knocked up. A girl. V: How do you know? F: Mm. Wasn't really part of my plan, but guess that's everything when you're living week to week. V: What did Connol say? F: I haven't told him. Working up the nerve. I don't know anything about kids. I get sweaty being alone with one. V: Hey, you're gonna be a great mother. F: Shut up. I'm not ready for that. I started trying to come up with a name, and it hits me that this one word is a decision she's gonna live with her whole life. I can't protect her from all the shit down here and work out how to be a parent at the same time. Then I realized, I don't have to. V: Hmm? Why's that? F: Because the second I told you, I put you on the hook. You two are gonna figure this Zaun thing out. I don't care if you have to carve it out of the bedrock, covered in blisters. You're not allowed to fail anymore. For her. For me. V: What's the point if we can't raise an ankle biter or two? S: To Zaun, then. Blisters and bedrock. V: Blisters and bedrock. I've always liked the name Violet.

[fanonical]

Just a quick check, as I got your blog as the "similar to a blog you follow" on a HP blog; what's your views on Harry Potter currently? I searched your blog and found posts from 2020 about the series, but also ones about how Rowling sucks, and obviously the flag in your pfp is a bit of a give-away, but I'd like to be kind of sure. Sorry to bother.

hi! when i started this blog, back in the Obama administration, i was in high school, and i was a teenage openly trans fan of harry potter. these were the days before she was an open, raving transmisogynist spending all her money on furthering the terf agenda (or at least, not publicly). obviously we knew that there were other problems with the series, and we were, as fans often are, very critical of the source material; to me and Jamie (the other co-runner of this blog) that's actually an integral part of what fandom means. we'd even by then heard the rumours that she was a terf, but ultimately we found that unsurprising; we were both trans, it was like 2015, we were under no impression that most of the creators of the things we liked were transphobic. most people are transphobic; even now, when in american liberal culture where it is "in" to say you are not transphobic, i guarantee you most people creating our favorite fandoms are transphobic (i mean, it's not like there's a wealth of transgender superheroes, anime protags, videogame characters, etc. is it?) whether they realise it or not. this didn't trouble us because she wasn't, at the time, publicly using her platform to give this value a voice, and harry potter was just a Thing Everybody Was Into -- like doctor who, or your favorite sport, or halo or whatever.

anyway, as time progressed, the blog's followership grew and eventually i was relying on money i earn from my part writing on here, so it wasn't an option to just quit immediately when she went mask full off. and again -- we were two british trans people, we were being very loud and open about our upset and dismay over her bullshit, and by this point, had a following of over 100,000, so it just felt more productive to keep that internal critical fandom perspective & help others see why they shouldn't give her any monetary support.

we changed to a more general fandom blog theme during lockdown, when i could focus on streaming more & earn a bit from that, so it wasn't as scary to suddenly have thousands of people decide they didn't want to give me money any more because i no longer was comfortable being associated with her legacy.

ultimately, i feel proud for staying as an openly critical voice in the fandom for as long as i did -- multiple people have come to me since and told me they think the only reason harry potter isn't a notable fandom on this website any more is because we spent so much time warning people away & convincing people to abandon the fandom when we eventually left for good.

i straight up spent the last couple years saying "i fucking hate us making harry potter posts but you guys show up and reblog them & that gives me spon money through humble bundle and a tranny gotta eat"

tbh, i don't even really think that "being a fan" of something was endorsement of the work or creator at all until it became so indistinguishable from being a consumerist identity (rather than a subcultural one) which i feel like is pretty recently, and honestly, Harry Potter & the YA tidal wave in its wake are probably a pretty big part in that, but that's kind of a different discussion.

[thebreakfastgenie]

The thing that gets to me about memes and jokes about politics/politicians is that, even if a person makes them to mock or deride a politician and their policies, that politician still has an audience of followers online who will read the joke differently, regardless of the op's intent. Like it greatly angered me to see people in the Star Trek fandom of all things use "transgender operations" as joke fodder instead of realizing it wasn't merely an unhinged phrase--and it is to those of us who aren't a part of the in-group--but a specific message to a follower base that is fearful of/hates trans people, immigrants, and those who have been or are currently incarcerated (to say nothing of what it means to link all 3 together, as in, to be trans is to be foreign to what is natural/native to the country, to be either is to be illegal, the long and highly racist legacy of the intruder who disrupts a society they do not belong to, etc.). Like that's what I can't stand about the desire to laugh at everything or to pass jokes off as harmless fun. Satire, jokes, and memes are tools of communication in this era and they become doubly important with politics attached to them. Trying to find humor in something so cruel just desensitizes people to what the actual message is while parroting it around further in a public forum, so it only gains a wider audience without any meaningful criticism and refutation attached to it. And now I have to see so many damn opinions about the Dem coalition failing or whatever when it's just plain anti-intellectualism, apathy, and disinformation that got us here, or to put it plainly: "Head empty. No thoughts. Just vibes." That meme has set some people back so far it's depressing.

(Sorry to vent in your inbox but this topic just makes me want to scream. I love your blog and seeing your sane political posts <3)

Yeah I was really upset to see memes about that phrase and the "eating cats and dogs" one in Star Trek meme groups, especially because I know the people making them don't support the message behind those phrases, they're just not thinking about it.

I think there is a very real strategy to laughing at fascists and making them look absurd, but it's really easy to normalize them instead, or make people associate them with laughter and entertainment and inadvertently build a subconscious positive association (as I've said before I think this explains a lot of Trump's appeal to low-propensity, low-information voters, that no one else has thus far been able to replicate). And some things shouldn't be funny, at least in public. Trump benefits from people not taking anything seriously, which is what constant irony-poisoned meming conditions the brain to do. You said it very well:

Satire, jokes, and memes are tools of communication in this era and they become doubly important with politics attached to them.

I don't think anyone was prepared for how the internet and social media affect this, either, because the speed and volume of communication is unprecedented.

I feel like such a curmudgeon with my "always meme responsibly" message but it matters!

Thanks for the message, this part is really good and I want to highlight it:

And now I have to see so many damn opinions about the Dem coalition failing or whatever when it's just plain anti-intellectualism, apathy, and disinformation that got us here, or to put it plainly: "Head empty. No thoughts. Just vibes." That meme has set some people back so far it's depressing.

[scattered-shadows]

As seen on my FF.net Also seen on my Ao3

Following the events of fifth year, a new adventure awaits for Norah Lee. Boys, exams, school events, common room parties, and old foes outside of Hogwarts. Even battling pensieve guardians was easier than this.

Main Pair: OC / Ominis Gaunt Genre: Adventure/Angst/Fluff (it's a little of everything, tbh)

KEEP IN MIND: Characters are aged up (even if the story's got them in sixth year) to make it more appropriate. Time period is leaning towards the modern day so in case you might find anachronisms in the dialogue or references, this is why. This may also be quite a lengthy fic too.

BE WARNED: Social anxiety, mentions of blood and injury, grief, drinking, kissing but nothing more than that, death (this is Hogwarts Legacy, after all)

P.P.S: Another lengthy chapter ahead. Given that it took me a month to update this, consider this chapter the last update for 2024. Expect the new chapters to come in 2025. Norah gets cuddled to sleep, Anne and Naru have a "moment" and people are opening presents.

P.P.P.S: I also know there's some talk here about buying and selling houses in the Wizarding World. It's a possible head canon that I can flesh out somewhere else in a post either on Tumblr or on Discord. That is all. Also, the earliest age for students in Mahoutokoro to start attending, I got it from one of the HP Wiki-pages, so yeah. There's a difference in info between the Mahoutokoro School Wiki and the HP Wiki pages.

Masterlist

Chapter 27

With some effort, Anne sat down on the couch in the living space of the Lee house that evening. The tension was thick after their conversation with Ominis and Norah and Naru hearing it all. Sebastian was sitting across from her, too stunned to speak yet he managed to fill his sister in on the details about why Norah had been behaving the way she was. None of them expected that things would take a turn for the worst. Friendships were now hanging in the air, only made worse by a heartbreak. Knowing how things had turned out, Anne wondered if it was still alright for them to stay.

The only sensible option was for them to leave and return to Feldcroft. Her, Sebastian, and Ominis. At least spare Norah the obligation of having to entertain them at this time.

Since Solomon's death, his home there had now been hers and Sebastian's. Sebastian, whenever he was home, took it upon himself to learn how to repair things manually from the books he borrowed in the library or bought from one of the hamlets. Sebastian had at one point considered selling the house so he can buy what used to be Mary Portman's home in Aranshire. It was his childhood home after all. Now, after what he found out, that house came with a very large cellar.

Naru was sitting across from the twins, glancing at Anne, then at Sebastian, and then at what was happening in the third floor. Ominis was standing outside Norah's room, pleading to be let in so they could talk.

"I was going to tell you, Norah- I just wanted to wait for the right time, I know you're going through so much and I didn't want to add to it any further, please, let me in so we can talk about this," Ominis spoke from outside the room.

If they were quiet enough, they could hear Norah's faint sobs. Naru could only sigh.

"Norah, please, please let me in," Ominis asked again, his forehead resting on the door, nearly stumbling over when it opened. He sensed that Norah's eyes were now red, her cheeks tear-stained.

Ominis cleared his throat and walked in, choosing to close the door behind them. "Norah-"

"Look," She cut him off with a slight hiccup. "Please don't rub it in any more, Ominis. I understand completely, and I told you, didn't I? Whether or not I choose to love you, is for me to decide, not you."

Norah wiped her eyes. Ominis took a step closer, only for her to take a step back. "You've been through a lot, and I know you're breaking down more than that. I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry you had to find out that way, and for...what I think," He said.

"I know," She sighed. "I know. That's the worst part. But even knowing you and how you are, can't you just see any possibility?"

"I'm doing this to protect you," Ominis said.

"I can protect myself just fine," Norah argued.

"You deserve so much better than me. You don't know what my family is capable of-"

"I know what they're capable of, if Carrow and his family is of any indication, yours will not be any different," She pointed out with some frustration. "But what about you? Do you want something to happen between us? ...Are you that scared?"

The question made the blonde stop. He was scared. Scared to get into something that may hurt him more than living with his own family already did. With everything he had experienced in his life, from losing aunt Noctua, from cursing out that muggle as a child, from allowing Norah to get cursed by Sebastian, from nearly and slowly losing Anne, from nearly losing Sebastian in his quest to cure Anne and possibly turning him over to Azkaban, and now possibly losing Norah again. Did he want this to happen again?

"Yes," He swallowed hard. "I am scared. Very much scared of what might happen, both good and bad. Even if it's for me, even if I could be happy. Because I know something bad's going to happen next. I...love you, very much, but I don't think it can happen, and you deserve so much better. I want you to be happy, I don't think I can give you that. Being with me...will only cause you pain."

Norah stared at him, unsure of what to say. She was still very hurt, by everything, and this felt like the final nail in the coffin.

"You know," She managed to say with a sniffle. "I want you to be happy too. I-I could wait-"

"Don't," He cut her off. "Please don't. It's terribly unfair to you if you do that. I can't and won't let you bear that. Norah, please."

After a beat, Norah took a step forward. "Alright."

Ominis could feel his eyes welling up. The two of them didn't say anything anymore, and instead quietly sat down on the couch at the foot of her bed. They silently agreed that things would go back to normal once they return to Hogwarts. As hard as it was, it was the only way to keep their friendship intact, even if their hearts were broken.

By dinner time, Norah was unsurprised to know that her parents were suddenly out of town, having secretly taken the car to spend the rest of the holiday in their home in the Cotswolds. However, they had left a present for Norah in the study. They wouldn't be alone, that much she knew, as they might be spending time with their friends. Also unsurprisingly, this secret getaway was at the insistence of her mother.

Perhaps they were more comfortable with the muggles now, she thought.

Naru and Anne sat on both sides of the table next to Norah, who sat at one end, observing the way they decorated the tree along with other parts of the house. The pair, sensing the tension, along with Norah's puffy eyes and Ominis's crestfallen expression which had gotten even worse after their conversation, exchanged glances, silently trying to figure out how to liven up the mood for this holiday. But, for Anne, it was her way of trying to get to know Naru better after their conversation in Hogsmeade Station.

Naru suddenly cleared his throat and raised his glass of juice, making them do the same. "Well, this is a first for all of us," He stood up. "My first trip to the UK, first time meeting my cousin, my first time meeting Hogwarts students, my first time spending Christmas somewhere else. I'm sure it's the same for all of you. Cheers."

From all of them, only Anne was smiling as they took sips. "What's it like in Mahoutokoro. You're in House Toppuu, right?" She asked.

Naru nodded. "Yes. It has a really nice view. It's on a cliff overlooking the sea. That's where the Tengu practice so we get to watch how they do it. It's also the most relaxing common room in the school. We all tend to have difficulty studying because of the sound of the sea and the waves," He chuckled. "You'd see people falling asleep in the middle of an assignment."

"I'm curious," Sebastian spoke this time, also wanting to diffuse the tension. "How do you get sorted into your houses?"

Naru sat back down. "Well, before we are sorted, we were given time to think about what the houses mean and what it might mean for us to be sorted into any of them. It's kind of private too, not like what you tend to do at Hogwarts. We're given the whole day during our first day to think about the possibility of getting into one of the houses. When we're ready, we approach this long scroll in the hall and place our hand on it. The letters signifying our house will appear on the scroll, and that's how you get sorted."

The twins were fascinated. "Ours is just an enchanted hat that yells out the name of the house you're going to," Sebastian shrugged.

"It's different with every school," Naru replied. "But I have heard that discrimination by blood status among our kind is quite rampant here."

"It is, and I should know," Ominis suddenly said. If he could see, he would've been glancing at Norah. "Your cousin has been on the receiving end of that from one of our own housemates, unfortunately."

"Ah, right," Naru turned to Norah, as if reminded that they needed to start eating. She wasn't saying anything, rather, she was staring at her own plate and several small bowls of food that served as side-dishes to an all-Japanese menu for the night.

Sebastian, on the other hand, felt his blood boil at the thought of what Carrow had done to her during that particular duel in the hall. Anne looked disapprovingly when she remembered Ominis's retelling of the incident. When Norah didn't seem to provide any other insight, a slight nod from her at Naru's coaxing was their signal to start eating.

The sound of clinking utensils and chopsticks falling out of hands and off tables filled the entire house aside from the soft crackling of the fire in what little fireplace Norah's family had in this very industrial-looking estate. Sebastian, Ominis, and Anne clearly enjoyed eating something else for a change, while Naru seemed proud of himself for knowing his mother's - Norah's paternal aunt - recipes by heart. Even Naru's parents seemed like busy people, and so cooking was a skill he had to learn since he started attending Mahoutokoro as a day student at the young age of seven.

It was another difference, as Ominis, Anne, Sebastian, and Norah would learn when they pressed Naru some more about his school. Compared to Hogwarts, students in Mahoutokoro weren't required to board in the school, and so those who didn't were called day students. Naru prefered taking some time to travel before going to class, and when he made the house quidditch team, he would go on a little trip on his broom until he could start apparating and disapparating.

Norah enjoyed listening to someone else talk for a change. It took some weight off of her dealing with her own problems. She didn't want anyone else to focus too much on that, not when they were all learning so much from Naru. Even she was learning about her cousin, another blood relative she wasn't aware of until he made himself known.

By the time Anne suggested to take the pudding out, they had immediately charmed the sink to start washing the dishes, leaving them to take out more plates and cutlery for the dessert. "I know it's unorthodox, but hey, my parents aren't here, why don't we crack open one of their bottles of wine?" Norah suggested, a playful grin on her face as she went further into the kitchen and to their wine coolers.

"Sticky toffee pudding," Sebastian felt his mouth water at the sight of the warm treat while he set down the plates and forks. "I still can't believe Anne and Naru managed to make all of what we ate today," He said, settling himself back down on his seat.

"All the while you were wondering how to take a look at that Magpies poster upstairs," Ominis teased.

Just then, Norah came back out with two bottles of wine, Naru having helped her by bringing the glasses and setting them down. "Norah, what kind of-" Sebastian stopped upon seeing the way she stuck the wine bottle opener onto the cork. "So-" He was stunned into silence when Norah drank straight from the bottle, wrinkling her nose at the taste.

"This is not firewhisky, but it'll have to do-" Norah stared at the bottle before taking another drink. With a soft burp, she left the other bottle for them to open.

Ominis's expression turned into that of concern, as did Naru and Anne, who tried to pry off the bottle from her grip. "Won't your parents get mad that you're drinking their wine-" Anne tried to ask.

"They're not here right now, they don't really care as much as you think," Norah burped. "What they do care about, however, is how to keep up appearances. Appearances, that's what they care about..."

She reached for the kazoo next to the pile of presents. Norah bought it out of wanting to gift one to each of them including one for herself. She took another long drink before playing a little riff, sitting back down on the chair, playing a few more riffs that sounded a little like a 1950s blues number.

"Norah-chan," Naru began, his tone a little firm this time. "I wonder if you'll be able to understand me," He suddenly spoke in Japanese.

"What makes you think I don't?" Norah replied in fluent Japanese, making Ominis, Sebastian, and Anne gape. "You're not the only-" She hiccuped. "multi-lingual person in this room..."

Anne sighed and tried to get up. "Norah, I guess this is a sign that we- I mean, me, Ominis, and Sebastian, should go back to Feldcroft if things have gotten weird now-"

"And be perceived as an asshole for kicking you three out this time of year?" Norah stared at them. "It's not your fault, Anne, none of this is your fault. I know you tried, you really did, and I also think you kind of fancy Naru so I wouldn't dream of kicking you three out of my home."

She got to her feet before Sebastian or Ominis could get to her. "Bloody hell, Norah," Sebastian sighed.

"Yes, that's all you can say, can you? Almost everything and everyone you care about is still there for you," Norah pointed out, followed by another riff of the kazoo. "But I don't want to ruin the festive mood even more than I already have. Please, go, celebrate for me, I'll be in my room. If you want or need to go out...figure out how to use muggle money and the phone on your own..."

She trudged up the stairs, one hand holding the wine bottle, the other holding the kazoo. As soon as they heard her close the door, in a moment of sudden confidence, Ominis got up from his seat his wand leading him up the stairs and to her room, gently knocking on the door before slowly opening it.

As far as Ominis could tell, Norah was on the floor, back against the foot of her bed, feet splayed out. She was crying, even more so than what he heard from her before. This felt...deep, as if the floodgates had really opened and all she could do was cry. He was reminded by something his aunt Noctua taught him as a child.

When the world seems too painful to face, having someone you love with you can make it better.

He loved her, and he wanted her to be happy, but how could she be happy when everything around her seemed to fall apart? Was he really that scared?

Ominis sat down next to her. Feeling that confidence come over him, he suddenly pulled Norah into his arms, feeling her sobs even more as he held on to her tight. "No, Ominis please-"

"I'm not going anywhere," He said, shaking his head. Ominis closed his eyes, mentally questioning everything he thought and said earlier. "I love you..." He whispered, holding her close. Their moment in the Undercroft after the ball replaying in his head like a song on repeat. "and it's because I love you that I want to protect you...Even if it means I can't be the one who gives you what you want...I'm always here."

Norah looked up at him, tears continuously streaming down her cheeks. "I...love you too. And I wouldn't care what kind of family you come from. I can protect myself," She sniffled.

"I know," Ominis's hand moved to her cheek, wiping whatever tears he could feel. "I know, but there's more to this," His voice was now trembling. "If they learn about what you can do? They'll try and take it from you. They're too dangerous, and I won't let them take it from you."

He held her closer, embracing her tightly as if he didn't want to let go but he had to. Just when he had a chance at being completely happy, Ominis Gaunt knew it couldn't be. Being a Gaunt was a curse unto itself, and he would rather suffer than allow others, including Sebastian and Anne, to be affected. Especially Norah. Many already knew of his family as hateful, pureblood supremacists who loved and lived for torturing muggles and muggle-borns. Marvolo's would-be wife unsurprisingly shared their same beliefs.

If he really wanted to be done and over with everything he was going through, he could've asked Norah to do the ultimate thing and put an end to his family. But of course Norah wouldn't. She wasn't going to cast an Unforgivable unless there was nothing else left to do, but her ancient magic abilities permanently gave her a more powerful option.

They stayed that way the rest of the night, the two of them eventually falling asleep. Naru, who wondered what happened between them, quietly peeked inside. He could read both Ominis' and Norah's thoughts and nodded to himself. He was more relieved than anything that the night ended this way for the two of them.

Naru quietly closed the door and looked up at the clock, hearing Sebastian trudge up the stairs to go to his room, leaving Anne in the living area. It was nearly midnight, nearly Christmas. He went back down to the dining area, seeing how everything was now tidied up, thanks to the dishes that are washing themselves. To his surprise, there were already presents under the Christmas tree, and from the light rapping on the window, there were owls that were clutching packages on their talons.

"I'll get it," Anne suddenly said, carefully making her way to the window and opening it. "Oh, that looks like Garreth's owl," the tawny owl dropped the package inside before flying off. "...Leander's owl. Amit's owl too."

Naru looked surprised as the second owl dropped off a bigger package in front of them. "You can recognize these owls?" He asked.

"I sometimes hung around the Owlery when I was still studying," She winced a little, touching her side. "I'd see Garreth and Leander there sometimes, they're also Norah's friends, by the way. Sometimes I think they both like her with how Sebastian talks about them, even Ominis."

Naru chuckled. "I'm glad she is also liked. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do you...like anyone?" He asked. "I think you're beautiful," He then muttered in Japanese.

Anne blinked, all the while hoping he didn't see how her cheeks went hot at the question. "M-me? like anyone?"

Naru nodded. "Are you dating anyone?"

Anne chuckled and looked down for a moment. "N-no, no I'm not dating anyone. As you can see," She winced again. "It's kind of hard to date when you're in pain every now and then."

"I heard from your brother you were cursed by Victor Rookwood," Naru glanced at her while he closed the window after seeing no other owls coming in toward the house.

While Anne didn't want to continue bringing her situation up, Naru's curiosity felt different, felt similar to how Norah and Ominis treated her. "Yes, unfortunately. But that Rookwood's now dead, you have your cousin to thank for that after he confronted her outside Ollivander's last year."

Naru smiled, having understood. He looked up, almost freezing when he realized what was hanging on the chandelier above their heads. When Anne looked up to where he was looking, she too nearly froze. They were standing under some mistletoe.

Their eyes slowly met as they looked down, and Naru studied her expression as if silently asking for permission. At any moment, one of them could lean away or suddenly decide that it might not be the time. Yet, neither of them seemed to budge. As much as they kept gazing into each other's eyes, their hands seemed to find their way to each other as well, Naru gently holding Anne's hands as he slowly leaned in.

Their eyes were closing. Any moment now, one or both of them could lean away, yet no one was budging. Naru leaned in all the way and kissed her softly before pulling away, still holding her hands. "Merry Christmas," He murmured.

If he looked close enough, he could see a faint blush appear on Anne's pale cheeks. "Merry Christmas," She greeted him back.

Small smiles crept up on their faces.

---

Christmas day was no longer as tense as the day before. Norah opened her eyes, sensing how puffy it had gotten, followed by the headache that one would get when even the slightest bit hungover. But it took a second until she realized that she had been sleeping in Ominis's arms the whole night, on the carpeted floor. The blonde, who managed to pull away just a little while they slept, was still in a peaceful slumber facing her. His wand, the tip glowing red, was on the bedside table.

She felt somewhat better now, a big weight lifted from her shoulders. Rather, it seemed to be washed away by the amount of alcohol she drank and how much she cried the night before. By this time, Sebastian, Naru, and Anne might already be awake and having breakfast. If she didn't try to get drunk and break down into a sobbing mess, she would've tried to enjoy the holiday a lot more.

As Norah thought about it, she studied Ominis' peaceful expression. She replayed the things he told her last night. She slowly sat up and got out of bed, the blonde opening his eyes at the sudden shift of weight on the mattress.

"N-Norah?" He said softly, reaching for his wand.

"Yes?"

"Good morning," He said.

"Good morning."

Ominis sat up, briefly smoothing his now slightly tousled hair. "Did you sleep well?" He certainly slept like a baby, he thought.

"I-I did" She said. "Merry Christmas, Ominis."

The greeting reminded him of why he was in Norah's home. "Right. Merry Christmas, Norah," He got up and out of bed.

Unsure of what else to say, the two of them left the room, suddenly hearing the familiar tinkering of dishes that didn't just mean breakfast, but also how Sebastian, Anne, and Naru were already celebrating. Norah turned to Ominis. "You had better change in your yukata. I think my father left one in your room, or Naru did," She said.

"Oh, oh right, I will then. I'll see you downstairs." Ominis nodded, making his way to the staircase while she went back inside her room to change.

This time to change also gave her the time to wash up and perhaps depuff her eyes. Looking around, Norah figured it was time to incorporate more of the magical world that she was now a part of, to this space she had in the muggle world.

Norah stepped out a little later, hearing the ruckus grow louder as Anne, Sebastian, and Naru were already dressed in their yukatas, Anne looking especially radiant with the vibrant colors of orange and light blue flowers against white. Naru and Sebastian seemed to match with their navy blue ones while Ominis wore a muted green. Norah stopped in front of the mirror, her hair already up in the bun she had gotten good at doing. She wore her emerald green yukata tied with a pink flowery obi. Her mother had chosen this specifically for her, apparently coming from a family seamstress in Japan. She figured Naru might recognize it.

As she emerged in the dining room, she was greeted by Naru and Anne handing her a familiar pint of butterbeer. Apparently, Sebastian and Naru went to the Leaky Cauldron to buy a keg while she was getting ready.

"Merry Christmas, Norah" Anne smiled.

She wasn't going to be sad today. Not today. "Merry Christmas, Anne!" She said cheerily, clinking her pint with hers. "Merry Christmas, everyone!"

"Someone's in a good mood," Sebastian grinned. He glanced at Ominis, who was taking a careful sip of butterbeer. "These are really comfortable, by the way."

"It should be," Naru pointed out with a laugh. "Breakfast is ready, and perhaps we can start opening presents after."

"I think we should have a picture to commemorate this holiday," Anne suggested, glancing at Naru, whose expression softened as their eyes met. "It would be nice."

Norah brought over her phone. "It's not enchanted, but I could have this printed and give one to each of you," She said, arm already outstretched to take their picture. Sebastian pulled Ominis in time for her to tap the button a few times. She looked at the photos, seeing all of them, including Ominis, were smiling.

"Brilliant" Anne was beaming when Norah showed them the photos she took, the four of them suddenly stopping to stare as Norah took out a small white device from the kitchen counter and with a few taps of her phone, a small photograph came out one after the other.

"Another Christmas memory," Norah said, handing one to each of them. "Sometimes I nearly forget what it's like to live like a muggle now that I've been going to Hogwarts...But then it's like...muscle memory, I guess. I'd always know how to do things like these, and still do things with magic too..."

Naru smiled as he looked at the photo he was holding. He took out his wand and after a moment, tapped Norah's phone and photo printer. "I think that should do it. Now it's enchanted."

That made Norah think. Maybe their fireplace could become connected to the floo network. Or at the very least, have a floo flame installed in the garage. She wondered how that could happen. She did think it was time to incorporate more of the magical world into the space she called home after all. She was sure her parents would have an easier time visiting if there was.

The five of them gathered around the table to eat, tucking into the leftovers from the night before, with Anne and Naru taking it upon themselves to reheat everything while Sebastian took care of everything else, including how to properly wear the yukatas the three of them were now sporting. This also included telling Ominis off for breaking Norah's heart, in the quietest way possible while also wondering how Norah must be in a good mood now after everything that happened before.

"Can I suggest next time, we spend a few days in Feldcroft?" Sebastian suddenly spoke. "If you're coming back to Scotland in the summer, you're more than welcome to join us, Naru."

"That's very kind of you to offer, I think I can do it," Naru agreed, glancing at Norah. "As long as you don't mind our other cousin comes along too. Katsuko, she's a Tozawa like Norah."

This time Norah was confused again. "Tozawa? First you say I'm an Inugami, and now you're telling me Tozawa?" She raised a brow in between bites.

Naru laughed at her confusion, but even Anne, Ominis, and Sebastian had gotten confused. "Uncle Makoto's real family name is Tozawa. He changed it to Lee upon migrating here out of shame as he's the only squib in the entire Inugami clan," He explained, trying to put the story out as gently as he could in case they had returned. "But his last name is actually Tozawa. Norah and I are second cousins because our grandmothers are sisters."

"Oh, so like second cousins? And Katsuko, she's my first cousin?" Norah pieced it together, and Naru replied with a hum. "Got it."

"She actually wanted to come along when she found out I was coming here," Naru explained. "You two actually look a bit similar."

The comparison somehow made Sebastian's and Ominis' ears perk up. "Oh, well, if she ever comes here, hopefully we wouldn't get mistaken for each other," Norah chuckled. "And because my dad probably has no plans to change his name back to Tozawa, you're all stuck with my last name being Lee...Not that he knows that I know about this now..."

"The more the merrier!" Anne smiled. She glanced at Sebastian, having remembered something. "It's going to be their last summer break while studying at Hogwarts, and we've got to talking, and we've agreed that we might put up Solomon's house for sale and move back to Aranshire or to someplace closer."

"You two? Leaving Feldcroft?" Norah raised a brow.

"Yeah," Sebastian nodded. "When our parents died, we had to move to Feldcroft for Solomon. Now that he's um," He paused for a moment. "Well, you know, passed away, we thought we'd move back to Aranshire, which is where we lived when we were children. I think you're familiar with the house too. Mary Portman?"

Memories of fighting spiders in the cellar came rushing back. "If you need help clearing the cellar out, let us know," Norah suggested. "It's more of a cavern than a cellar, if you ask me."

"Oh right..." Sebastian stared at her. "Pest control, was it?"

"Mhmm. Might want to plant an army of venomous tentaculas and chomping cabbages to keep those spiders out," Norah suggested.

---

They gathered around the Christmas tree after several toasts and some pudding, each of them opening their presents. Much to their surprise, Garreth sent each of them knitted Christmas jumpers, likely out of the insistence of his mother. Leander, on the other hand, sent a packet of honking daffodil seeds for Norah, a book about Alchemy for Sebastian, a dirigible plum start for Anne, and a Tempest in a Bottle for Ominis. As for Amit, he sent over constellation posters to each of them, perhaps those that reminded him of them. Henry and Natty also sent them their respective presents, such as copies of the adventure novels she told them about once before and jars of assorted jams made by Henry's mother and sister.

In Sebastian's case, he had some help from Adele about what to get Norah and Anne. Ominis, on the other hand, relied on Anne's help. Ominis had given Norah a new pair of dragonhide gloves, while Sebastian gave her a journal for her to write her research down on the swirling ball of pain and emotion in the caverns.

"So you don't leave your journal entries scattered all over like Isidora," He teased.

But Norah handed Naru a wrapped box with a gold ribbon. "Merry Christmas, cousin," She grinned.

Naru's eyes lit up as he tore open the gift, opening the box to reveal a sneakoscope, immediately using it on everyone. With Anne and Sebastian, Norah gave each of them duelling gloves with their initials embroidered on them, and for Ominis, she gave him a pair of green-tinted spectacles and what he realized was the button on her sweater.

"I'm having way too much fun with this," Naru said, still looking around into the sneakoscope. He brought out a small wrapped gift to her as well. "Before I left, I thought you needed to have something from home. It's nothing much."

She looked down at the present, wrapped in a blue fabric and tied together with a shiny floral ribbon. Slowly untying the ribbon, the fabric spread out, revealing a dark green kimono jacket with gold and silver embroidery. Looking closely, the gold and silver designs were actually of a chrysanthemum, a koto or Japanese zither, and surprisingly, an axe. The fabric felt incredibly soft to the touch.

"Wow," Norah mouthed, holding it up for most of them to see, but even Ominis' wand sensed the details. "Are you sure this is for me?"

"Yeah, the chrysanthemum, the koto, and the axe are of the three Inugami family heirlooms," Naru explained wisely. "Each grandchild or great-grandchild has this made for them by the family seamstress. I can't tell you how many times my grandma's told us that growing up."

They were all fascinated. It also had the gears in Sebastian's head turning. From how Naru was dressed, how he carried himself, and what he brought for Norah, was making him think about her family's reputation back in Japan. How Norah's father behaved like someone who was exiled for being a squib. It was making him think.

Ominis, on the other hand, was starting to think the same thing, with the jacket seemingly becoming yet another clue. But there would be time to wonder about that later. As Anne and Naru seemed to be making glances at each other, Norah thought it was another chance to take a photo. She took out her phone to take candid shots of each of them, especially of the pair. It was definitely not the day to be sad, she told herself. Not when the people she cared about were celebrating with her.

[fanhackers]

Radio, Radio!

I almost didn’t write this post for fear that you guys will think I’m even more of an old than I even am, but a) fuck it and b) there’s a way in which everything old is new again, so bear with me.  *takes deep breath*  OK, so when I was a young fan, a lot of my fannish life happened over the RADIO.  Yes, RADIO, that–I was about to say, that weird looking box with dials on it, but you probably don’t even have a radio. (*Shut up, shut up, I can’t hear you, la la I am going to live forever!*)  But you probably listen to something like radio on Spotify, or you listen to podcasts, or you might even use an app to listen to some great legacy radio station in your area.  So imagine you had a dedicated box just for that.

Anyway, in the before-times, radio then–like podcasts now–was a way to do fandom.  Music people know this of course, but I’m both a fan and a theatre person, and man, radio theatre was the best, and fannish radio theatre even better.  Britain had and still has a really strong radio drama tradition, which is smart because it lets them produce new plays by new writers for a fraction of the cost of a staged production.  But NPR in the US used to do radio drama too–they had a show called NPR Playhouse / Sounds of Theatre which I was devoted to.  

I have two particularly strong fannish memories from this era. First,  the joy of hearing the original Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy on radio. Douglas Adams wrote Hitchhikers for radio and radio is the best way to experience it  - I mean, Zaphod having two heads and three arms is radio joke if there ever was one, and then all these poor TV and film people had to figure out how to actually get an actor with a second head. (Footnote 1).  I backtrack here to say that if you don’t know what I’m talking about, never read or saw any version of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy, click on the link and have yourself a whale of a time (or a bowl of petunias of a time.) (Sorry, the whole Hitchhiker’s thing makes me instantly 12 years old FOREVER. My whole world is Hitchhikers, Star Wars, and Doctor Who– Five.) 

Moving on: the second great fannish radio experience was NPR’s dramatized version of Star Wars, which had Mark Hamill and Anthony Daniels playing their original roles, and Perry King as Han Solo - Perry King, you will remember (who am I kidding, you will absolutely not remember, but anyway), became a fan-favorite for a show called Riptide, so that was okay, too. And they expanded the text! And added new scenes!  I can remember Mark Hamill giving an interview talking about how different it was to play the part for radio; he talked about how you had to sort of put movement in your voice at all times: “I’m–grunt–putting on my–harumph–jacket!” But he was great at it–obviously, since he’s become such a famous voice actor since. And it’s wonderful that podcasting has brought theatre and fandom back into the medium of sound - podcasts are the obvious new media version of all this.

Okay, so bring this back to fan studies, these personal fannish reminiscences (and awesome links—you’re welcome!)  are brought to you by Martin Cooper’s book Radio Legacy in Popular Culture: The Sounds of British Broadcasting Over the Decades (Bloombury, 2022, excerpt available at the link).  Make no mistake, this is a fannish book in its way - Cooper is interested not just in radio but in artistic works that are in some way about radio, which he regards explicitly as fanworks about radio: 

In the case of fandom it could be alternative storylines; in our case of radio listening, it can be a reinterpretation of what has been heard on the airwaves. Hence, it is plausible to think of the responses I analyse in the chapters that follow as reinterpretations and critiques of radio listening; that they have been produced by professional writers and musicians makes them less of a subculture and more of a series of transformative texts that extend the meaning and understanding of the medium of radio. They are portrayals of the everyday action of listening to the radio: of paying attention to the programmes, the discussions, the documentaries, the dramas, the daily shows and the DJs.  

Note that the book has a specifically British focus, but British music and drama have influenced fandoms all over the world. I mean, Radio, Radio; Video Killed The Radio Star; Oh Yeah (There’s a Band Playing On The Radio), Radio Clash –Cooper frames all these songs as part of a British transformative fannish response to the medium.  Radio on! 

–Francesca Coppa, fanhackers volunteer

(1) I got the chance to meet Mark Wing-Davey, who played Zaphod Beeblebrox both on the original radio show and on the BBC show--he's a big-shot theatre director now, but I honestly could not keep my inner 12 year old under control: I basically had my fists stuffed in my mouth because OMG Zaphod Beeblebrox!!! my heart!! and finally I just kind of choked out, "sorry, I can't--excuse me" and fled the dinner. *facepalm*

[spookystarfishzombie]

Just a little 'hello & welcome to my blog' post.

Most people have a pinned introduction post & I thought I should probably get on that. This will also double up as a FAQ post too.

Also, if you wanna buy me tea, you can -> (green tea of course)

First & foremost: FREE PALESTINE! I won't hear any different, go argue with a wall (no it's not performative, as I have been accused of in the past (all because I criticised an actor), I've attended marches, signed petitions, written to my local MPs, attended meetings & help set up fund raising events, so fuck off with your 'performative activism' buzz words, I'm not here for it). As I run a Stranger Things page, it's worth noting that I do not support the zi0nists in the show, most notably No*h Schnapp (tagged as 'he who shall not be named) & Br*tt Gelman (tagged as 'the other 'he who shall not be named''. I honestly think he's down right insane). If you are one of these people that downplays what was said & done by them then this page probably isn't for you. And since some children in the fandom can't tell the difference between criticism and hatred, I don't hate these people (well maybe Gelman because he's actively causing my community a terrible reputation), I hope that through education and compassion they see how wrong & hurtful their words have been. Thankfully, I've been educated my whole life about isr*el through the Holocaust legacy we have in our family, my great grandmother having survived it and actively fought against the idea of isr*el, how it's just going end up brainwashing so many youths into thinking they can just turf indigenous people from their literal homes. I've unfortunately been to isr*el when I was a child because my dead beat father seemed to think it was a good idea, even if my beloved great-grandmother pleaded with him not to. Luckily my mom did the right thing and left him and my step-father has been great. He used to blindly support isr*el until he finally educated himself and has felt terrible that this was his mindset for so long. Change can happen, but you need to detangle yourself from isr*el's cluthes and realise that it's more important to protect the real indigenous people of Palestine. Listen to the Rabbi's out in the streets, protesting. Listen to the Jewish Community when we tell you that Zi0nism is a dangerous thing that has weaponised Judaism and played the victim to use as a shield ... okay that got heavy. Moving on!!!!!

Secondly, Hi, I'm Kay (she/her), I'm a veteran of Tumblr, unfortunately. I love watching films, I love to draw, read and have green fingers, yes I'm a plant mama, I just love plants. My prized plant is my monstera because she started off so small & now she's doubled in size. So happy! I also put the B in LGBTQ, I'm very proud of the bi community & love being part of it (biphobes, especially within the queer community, are truly baffling to me - so take your biphobia elsewhere, or better yet, you know, educate yourself? It's not a hard thing to do). I also have crippling anxiety and I'm irritatingly shy, I wish I wasn't but I've always been shy, so if you want to talk to me, you're going to have to be the one to reach out otherwise I'm radio silent (I'm working on it). I'm an adult, so if you're a minor, sorry, I won't be forging friendships. But you're awsome, just know that!

I used to have Texts From Last Night (TFLN) blog for Stranger Things a few years back that was basically the same as this blog (except back then I had thousands of followers *sigh*). I deleted it because a) people were annoying about it, b) people didn't seem to understand that this wasn't to be taken seriously and c) I got chased off the site because apparently labelling Mike as bi was a death sentence. I said fuck it, and deleted. I started it around when season 2 came out & deleted just before season 4. But I'm hoping the fandom is a little more mature now & I can start up with a fresh, new Stranger Things TFLN blog again, mainly because I miss making edits. Making edits helps take my focus off my anxiety. Yay anxiety.

I take texts from the site Texts From Last Night (it's no longer being maintained, unfortunately), then I take screencaps from my own laptop or from a site called screencapped, then throw it altogether (if you want to look at the site for yourself, just a trigger warning, some of the texts are either gross or bigoted - so just a heads up, I obviously filter out those ones from my blog, I don't want that on here).

I do sometimes edit the original TFLN to fit the screencap, so if the original TFLN mentions a name, I'll change the name to say, for example, Lucas or Nancy. I'll change it if it includes ages & place names too, just to fit with Stranger Things. I also sometimes add my own Text to make it flow smoother, for example this one with Steve & Eddie (the post), the original TFLN only had the 'Eddie' part but I didn't think it flowed well, so I made up a 'Steve' text with a made up area code, so it made more sense that 'Eddie' was responding to 'Steve' rather than just having it as a stand alone text (I really over-complicate my descriptions, huh?).

The numbers on the posts are area codes, and the texts aren't colour coded, I just use what ever colour stands out against the background. I also don't do it by ships; I'll find a text that I think is funny and find a screencap that roughly matches up, so please don't request ship/character posts. I'll maybe do submissions at a later date, where you can send in your funny texts but right now, I'm just making my way through the TFLN site.

Not a particularly interesting introduction post but there you go. I ain't got much to say, I guess. But I will say thanks for your support so far on here, you guys seem to be enjoying the posts and that's all that really matters. Much love!

Kay

x

[villain-in-love]

Sorry this ask took a while to send, I've been busy deep cleaning the last few days! But in your other post you mentioned Monster High and Ever After High OCs/Self Inserts. I don't want to pressure you if you don'y want to ofc, but if you're comfortable with sharing them.. I'd love to know more about them!!

I don't know much about Ever After High myself. I watched a few webisodes on Youtube some time ago and then dropped it. But I've been thinking about picking it back up again because I love the fairytale setting. Plus the dolls look very cool design-wise! I think out of the character I've seen so far, Madeline might be my favourite :3

Also, do you perhaps collect any other doll lines? I also enjoy Living Dead Dolls, Bleeding Edge, Little Apple Dolls, ect. If you enjoy the gothic/alternative style of Monster High, I'd definetly recommend them!! Some of them are bit more gorey - but theres plenty of interesting characters.

Ever After High is a great doll line as well as a show with immaculate aesthetic and interesting concept. Personally, I still prefer Monster High over it, but I've seen people favour Ever After High because it has a serious main conflict that can be analysed on a deeper level. A lot of people tend to simplify the message to "rebels good, royals bad", but in reality, while rebels do end up being in the right, position of royals does make sense, their concerns are understandable and hold a certain weight, at the very least because the entire situation the characters are in is rather complicated.

Honestly, if we look behind the bright and pastel coloured fairy tale aesthetic, the way fairy tale society functions is borderline dystopian…

Anyways, I think I have more OCs here because with the whole premise of following or rejecting one's destiny as well as having characters represent different fairy tales, naturally, lot of ideas appear. And so my OCs are often just me playing with the possibilities of what kind relationship with their fairy tale roles different characters might have.

While she’s not my personal favourite, I respect everyone who likes Madeline, she’s pretty cool (I especially like her Legacy Day doll which is visibly inspired by Victorian fashion) Unfortunately, she often get reduced to a comic relief, but I believe she had much more to her character in books by Shannon Hale, which I didn't have a chance to read yet, but I’m planning on doing so.

By the way, I checked out the doll brands you listed, and turns out I already knew some of them. However, while I don’t mind gore, those are not exactly the type of dolls I’m interested in (mostly I just dislike child-like proportions). (Living Dead Dolls look pretty neat though) I guess I liked Monster High as fashion dolls specifically, and very elegant, elaborate and well-thought-out ones at that.

Aside from Monster High and Ever After High, I used to like Bratzillas. I know that some might say that they are just a Monster High rip-off, but even if they were heavily inspired by it, they were still good (well, I was simply excited to see another gothic fashion doll line). I’m still upset that the franchise was so short-lived and I wish I bought more of their dolls. At some point Once Upon a Zombie piqued my interest, but I got quickly disappointed in doll and animation quality.

Also I wanted to comment on your OCs, because I actually like your character ideas. I adore the pun that is Manita’s name, especially since it’s both a good joke and sounds similar to "manticore". I overall have a soft spot for characters that are man-eaters both figuratively and literally. Octavia is extremely cute, I think she’s my favourite here, and I would totally root for her and Twyla’s relationship if they were in a show together. Levi looks like an entertaining type of character, I wish I could see him (them?) in action.

I kinda want to bother you a bit more and ask about what kind of fashion styles your characters prefer wearing and what would be written in their “freaky flaw” part of the bio, but that’s up to you if you want to continue the conversation about OCs.

Anyways, going to my OCs. I must warn you, there's a whole lot of information. I feel kinda bad for not drawing them myself and using character makers to represent them instead, but depression is a bitch and so this is the best I can do currently.

So here are the character design concepts plus some notes I have about them:

Starting with my only Monster High OC who is also a self-insert. I still don't have a name for her, since I want it to be a pun like most of Monster High names are but I have no good ideas yet.

Heavily inspired by the song Necromancin Dancin by Bear Ghost.

She's a necromancer who was born in the middle of the 19th century and died young. However, in my lore necromancers themselves are undead as well and only “awaken” after their own death. And so the first dead body they learn to control is their own.

She actually started out as a villainous character who exploited other undead students using her powers, either to harm or to manipulate.

She has issues, okay? On the inside she’s just a cynical and hostile sociophobe with a ���better be a bully than the one bullied” mindset, convinced that there’s no point in trying to make friends since everyone would hate her anyway.

Ends up going through a character development and redemption arc thanks to the power of friendship and acceptance because it’s Monster High we’re talking about.

She seems very cool and confident when she’s being mean, but she’s so painfully awkward when put in a friendly environment. She doesn’t know how to be nice, she’s afraid of making a wrong move and ruining everything again.

Has a good sense of humour, but it’s dark and sometimes downright rude or offensive, which often puts her in uncomfortable situations.

She’s adopted since her parents were regular humans and she long since outlived them. After their death another necromancer – who was her mentor – took her in.

Now this is Ekaterina Bayun, the daughter of the one and only Bayun Cat. She was sent to Ever After High to better get ready for taking her father's role, since she's the first ever person to replace the original Bayun Cat. Because her father is immortal, she's didn't have to do it and it was entirely her own decision, which made her somewhat famous in school, being that she’s the only fairy tale character’s descendant who was actually given a choice.

While Ekaterina counts as a "royal" simply by the virtue of choosing to take her parent's role in their fairy tale, her view on the royal vs rebel conflict is rather neutral. And if you ask her opinion, she thinks that humans of their world would benefit more from rebel’s movement than they would if everything stayed the same as it always was.

She's actually a big monstrous cat who is capable of transforming into a human-like form. She spends half of the time in her cat form and assumes human appearance when it’s more convenient.

Ekaterina takes villain classes since, while she’s not The Villain TM, she’s classified as a beast that usually antagonises heroes. Also she literally kills and feasts on human flesh and it kind of automatically puts her into “evil” category.

Very chill, very lazy, prone to sarcasm and snide remarks. Like every cat, Ekaterina subconsciously thinks of herself as superior to everyone else and doesn’t like following any rules she disagrees with.

She’s a great storyteller and a singer with low and slightly gravelly, but very attractive voice. However, she has to be careful with it as to not accidentally put the entire school to an endless sleep.

Ekaterina has got a creative streak and is pretty intelligent, so she’s also good at making up her own stories. Her favourite school subject is creative storytelling.

She couldn't care less about human etiquette or morality. She's nosy and impudent, and has a habit of wandering into places where she shouldn't be.

Mstislava The Wise – daughter of Vasilisa the Wise from “The Sea Tsar and Vasilisa the Wise”. Headstrong and prideful, she never wanted to accept the role of her mother, which is why her family sent her to Ever After High in hopes that she will be put in her place here and stop rebelling. But boy, if that wasn't the miscalculation of the century.

Mstislava is a hardcore russian woman – she will walk into the house on fire and stop the horse running at full gallop, looking fabulous while doing so. She’s talented and intelligent, and absolutely refuses to become an obedient and loving wife of some Ivan Tsarevich who will sit on his ass while she does all the work in their story, only to be denied credit later.

Just like all women of her bloodline, Mstislava is a powerful sorceress. She's a master of transfiguration who is closely connected to the forces of nature, plus she possesses an impressive collection of enchanted items. She's also implied to be not quite human.

She doesn’t actually hate being a princess, and she would love to become a queen, but she's willing to sacrifice her royal status for the sake of her freedom of choice... or just for the sake of making a point.

She threatens her family with magic or refusing to go home if they don't accept her wanting to write her own destiny. She either gets to become the queen on her own terms, of she will run away and become a wicked forest witch.

Despite how serious and intense she appears, Mstislava does have a mischievous side and sometimes uses her magic powers to play tricks on people.

Mstislava is good at poetry, but unlike what is expected of a princess, she’s a terrible musician. (And so Ekaterina proceeded to teach her how to rap to pass the Muse-ic class…)

She's hard-working, but she's also a night owl, so you can catch her angrily banging at the door where the party is going at night, complaining that they're disturbing her while she's trying to study.

She's actually Baba Yaga's distant relative, and Mstislava considers Yaga to be her role model.

Meowriel Savatier – daughter of the Puss in Boots. She's a natural born hero and a royal who is very excited about fulfilling her destiny, especially since her destiny is to be with and help her best friend Marquise de Carabas (she's in love with her but doesn't fully realize it yet).

She’s technically considered to be Marquise’s lady-in-waiting, but it’s not as obvious since they both treat each other as friends and equals, with Marquise being especially considerate, even though Meowriel herself still goes out of her way to please her.

She doesn't have many close people, but she's an incredibly loyal friend, even to the point of selflessness.

Meowriel is bold, energetic, and resourceful. She seems to be in high spirits all the time, having a plan for any occasion and never giving up.

She's an incredibly persuasive and charming opportunist.

She takes hero classes and is the best in the Dragon Slaying class, where she uses cunning tactics to succeed instead of trying to rely on brute force.

She's an example of a royal who is actually selfish. She genuinely wants to fulfil her destiny which will give her and her beloved Marquise a happy ending, while the rest of the royals and rebels can rip each other to pieces for all she cares.

She doesn't mind rebels, but only as long as it doesn't affect her own story. However, if someone in her story tries to rebel, she's willing to force them back into their role by trickery and manipulation.

Because every character cast needs a cheerful French with a bob cut and a sinister side.

Once I actually get to drawing her myself, I hope to make the design of her boots much more elaborate, since they are her character's signature piece.

Marquise de Carabas – daughter of the miller's youngest son from the story of the "Puss in Boots". Marquise wants to be an active character in her story and she's worried about her best friend having to do all the work for her. She feels that it's unfair that she doesn't have to do anything while Meowriel alone ensures their happy ending.

She's a bit spoiled, but I wouldn't say that she's entitled. More like she's not used to hard work and discomfort, all her life she didn't even have to lift a finger or deal with serious problems herself.

She loves art in all of its forms, so she wishes to keep living an easy and lavish lifestyle so that she could dedicate her time and effort to it.

She's not particularly skilled at writing, drawing, or singing but she doesn't let it stop her. She's got a good sense of aesthetic and yet unexplored theatrical talent. Also she's a great violinist.

She considers the possibility of rebelling, while she secretly tries to find the way to prevent her story from even starting. Just like in the case of Ashlynn Ella, Marquise is destined to lose her royal status and fall into poverty for her story to begin, and in the end she’s going to have to marry to become a princess again.

She has serious issues with having to marry a "designated" person as a part of her destiny, especially since she still didn’t even have a chance to meet them. She’s the type who can only fall in love with someone she already shares a deep bond that lasted for years, and there's exactly one person like this in her life...

However, seeing how excited Meowriel is about following her destiny, Marquise wonders if she should just give in to make her friend happy. After all, in their story they will stay together for ever after anyways, so it shouldn’t be that bad..?

Maybe it's because she's so observant, but Marquise can easily spot acting or lies. Bad acting irritates her.

She doesn't fully trust anyone except Meowriel because she's the only one who is always honest with her.

By the way, I'm still only figuring out her character, since she was recently revamped in design and I started over with her personality. I'm also currently thinking about possibly changing her name.

Hua Li Ming – daughter of Hua Mulan, raised both as a capable warrior and a perfect lady. She's torn between wanting to honour her family, both like her story and fairy tale society tells her, and being absolutely terrified of having to bear such responsibility and spend 12 years at war.

She's noble and prideful, so on one hand she considers it a honour to become the next Mulan. On the other hand, she hates herself for being reasonably scared and unwilling to fulfil her destiny.

I imagine it will get revealed when Darling Charming tells her that she's lucky for getting to be a warrior instead of a damsel in distress, causing Li Ming to snap and go into a full-blown "you know nothing" tirade.

Actually has to deal with the pressure of being both a soldier and a lady. It's not like she was given an opportunity to choose one or even reject both.

She's a royal who desperately wants to rebel but still can’t let go of the thought that it's somehow beneath her.

Everyone around her constantly going on about how she would make a perfect Mulan doesn’t help.

Soft-spoken but firm, knows her own worth.

Known for being well-mannered and highly disciplined, Li Ming is a pleasure to work with and is considered to be a great company.

This showcases her level of self-control, and unfortunately it also means that she’s used to repressing her feelings, especially negative ones, which doesn’t do her any good.

Does meticulous work like weaving and sewing to calm herself and sort out her thoughts.

Li Ming studied combat and the art of war ever since her childhood. She likes it all in theory, but she'd rather not have to use it.

Instead of serving her country as a soldier, she wishes she could prevent the war before it even starts.

Character makers used:

The first one

The one that is made in Ever After High style

The third one is Anime Avatar Maker found on Google Play

[jazziehart]

New Year, New Beginnings

Hello to all of my lovely readers/followers,

As you may have noticed I have taken a fairly long hiatus from Tumblr. I've decided to use this account as what Twitlonger used to be for me which is to post lenghty things that don't just fit on my account so, I will be posting here a lot more frequently come 2024 with lots of new and exciting content, especially regarding the Sims verse so if you're a fan, please stick around.

What can I say, 2023, for me was truly the year from hell. There were so many wonderful things that occured throughout the year (mainly the concerts and movies I got to attend especially the Eras Tour) but for the vast majority of the year I found myself enthralled in a deep depression like I had never had before.

The reason for said depression, sadly isn't a new one I've had in my life, people decided to say untrue things about me which blindsided me. Especially since it came from people who had barely spoken to and hadn't met before.

I was incredibly fortunate to have friends who stood by and defended me against these allegations saying it was something I would never do which I greatly appreciate that the vast majority of people I've met could speak to my character in a great way.

However, that incident and others since then in what is known as the ORG (Online Reality Games) community became a place of toxicity to me which has led to me going on an indefinate hiatus from being a part of any of those games ever again.

Unfortunately, what became apparent to me as time went on was in order to get away from it, I would have to let go of most social media platforms I was using which is where this post really comes into play.

For my new beginnings of 2024, I decided to focus a lot more on myself and the things I love rather than be a part of fandoms that I have felt were incredibly toxic. So, with that being said, this is kind of my goodbye post to the ORG community, at least for now.

To the friends I've made along the way,

I'm still willing to talk more through messaging via twitter or instagram but I will no longer be using Skype or Zoom. My reasons for this is just because I want to get away from the community, not from all of you. I just know many of you are embedded in the community and I don't want to be a downer who complains if you talk about it since you guys love it. For me, it's no longer a safe space or at this point a space I intend to be a part of in any way, so if you could please respect that.

Another new beginning I'm going to start in 2024, is to focus on making videos. I know I promised videos in the past and haven't delivered and I sincerely apologize for that but my life itself has been chaotic with a lot of medical and physical issues besides the mental and emotional ones.

I will be starting a few Sims series following an Eras Legacy Challenge (Something I am curently testing out before I officially post the rules because yeah I'm a perfectionist) as well as the long awaited Quinn Fabray series I promised you all.

I also will try to do an outfit haul of the many gorgeous pieces I own that were worn by Quinn Fabray. If you want me to recreate any scenes let me know, I may do them over TikTok or YouTube depending on the lenght.

I also will be focusing on my writing which is something that has brought me so much joy. I'm probably unfortunately going to abandon the projects I have been working on and will be completely starting a new.

Gleewrite and Twins Fabray will be making a comeback but in a very different way than I had started them. Sorry for the long rambly article you have to read but I felt I wanted to update everyone on what I'm hoping to focus on.

Here's to 2024 being a good year.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

As Time Goes By: Part Two

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.1k

Warnings: canon angst and violence

Author’s Note: I am so sorry I haven’t posted. I was sick with the flu and completely forgot about it. I will be posted both episodes now!

I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated.

Henry directs Dean where to go, and you get to an antiques and comic book store. Henry claims it used to be the place where the old Men of Letters used to be, but it's not that anymore. Henry seems sad as he touches the mark on the door that's faded.

"Alright, well, this was enlightening. Let's hit the road, huh?" Dean says impatiently.

"Give him a minute, Dean," you sigh.

"We just spent four hours driving, okay? All he did was stare out the window and request Pat Boone on the radio. He had his time."

"It's just a facade," Henry says, "a way to rook our enemies into believing we are housed elsewhere."

"Okay, enough with the decoder talk. How about you tell us what this whole 'Men of Letters' and 'Legacies' business is, or you're on your own."

"It's none of your concern."

"No, you don't get to do that," you approach him from behind. "You don't get to tell us we're legacies and then not tell us why we are. Is this because we're hunters? What do you have against hunters?"

"Aside from the unthinking, unwashed, shoot-first-and-don't-bother-to-ask-questions-later part, not much, really."

"No, fuck this. We're also John's children," Sam says.

"You're more than that, actually. My father and his father before him were both Men of Letters, as John and you two should have been. Your mother and her mother and her mother before her were witches that were super powerful, as you should also be. We're preceptors, beholders, and chroniclers of all that which man does not understand. We share our findings with a few trusted hunters--the very elite. They do the rest."

"Okay, but if you guys were such a big deal, then why haven't we--or anyone we know--ever heard of you?"

"Abaddon."

Henry opens the door to the comic bookstore and walks inside. You take Joanna out of her car seat and grab her hand before following Henry inside. This place is small but it has a very homey feel to it. If you were someone who was into comic books, then you would feel safe here.

"Henry. Why? Why'd she do it?" Sam asks, catching up to him.

"I think for this."

Henry holds up a brown box with the same symbol that was faded on the door.

"What is that?"

"I wish I knew." He places the box back into his pocket. "Abaddon attacked us the night of my final initiation. All secrets were to be revealed then."

"Let me get this straight. You traveled through time to protect something that you don't know what it does from a demon you know nothing about?" Henry stares at Dean before heading deeper into the store. "Great."

"Hand me your... walkie-talkie," Henry demands of Sam.

"You mean my phone?"

"Even better." Sam hands over his phone, and Henry places the end of the phone to his mouth. "Operator, I need Delta 457."

"Who are you not calling?" you ask.

"Our emergency number."

"Yeah, not like that, you aren't."

You grab the phone and hand it back to Sam.

"They can't all be gone. There must be another elder out there who can help us figure out how to stop Abaddon and what to do with the box."

There is a young woman at the counter with a laptop in front of her, and Dean slinks up to the counter with a smile.

"Hi, could we hijack your computer for a minute?"

"Like you could fit a computer in this room," Henry laughs.

"Times are different, Henry. Shush."

"Sure."

The woman hands over the laptop, and Dean moves out of the way to let Sam do his thing on the computer.

"Give me the name of anybody who might have been there that night. One of those elders."

"David Ackers. Larry Ganem. Um, Ted--"

"Here it is," Sam cuts him off. "August 12, 1958. A tragic fire at a gentlemen's club at 242 Gaines Street."

"This is 242 Gaines Street. There was no fire."

"Larry Ganem, David Ackers, Ted Bowen, and Albert Magnus are all among the deceased."

"Albert Magnus."

"Is he a friend of yours?"

"Even better," Henry grins.

You didn't know that Henry needed to go to the cemetery. It's past Joanna's bedtime, but Henry really needs to dig up one of his friends for a reason you're not sure of. Joanna is sleeping in Dean's arms peacefully, not minding that she isn't in a bed. You would have stayed with her in a motel room, but you're scared that Abaddon would come for you. You know nothing about her, so you don't know of her weakness.

"These were my friends, my mentors, our last defense against the Abaddons of the world," Henry shines his flashlight on the headstones.

"Here's your buddy Albert Magnus."

"Albertus Magnus was hardly a buddy. He was the greatest alchemist of the middle ages."

"Why is he buried here?"

"He's not. His was the alias we'd use when going incognito. I believe someone planted his name in that article... so that if a Man of Letters came looking for answers, he'd know something was amiss."

"Someone wanted you to come to this grave. Why?"

Dean shines his flashlight on the grave and sees a unicursal hexagram symbol, which is carved into the headstone.

"What is this?"

"Our crest. The Aquarian Star represents great magic and power. They say it stood at the gates of Atlantis itself."

"It's on all of the tombstones except for Larry Ganem's."

Henry kneels in front of the headstone which has a different symbol carved into it.

"This is the Haitian symbol for speaking to the dead. This is the message. Have you three ever exhume a body?"

"I got this," you say and walk in front of the brothers.

You want to give them a break from digging up since Henry doesn't look like the kind of person who would do the dirty work. Joanna is sleeping in Dean's arms, and you don't want to wake her. Instead, you opt to use your magic since there is no way you're digging.

Your eyes shine blue as your magic encompasses the area around the grave. With one palm facing the ground, you lift your other hand, causing the ground to shake. The dirt lifts into the air, and you move it off to the side. You repeat this process until the grave is completely dug, exposing the coffin perfectly.

"You truly have no idea just how powerful you really are," Henry says in admiration.

"What do you mean?"

All Henry does is shake his head in amazement. Sam and Dean shrug, but you step off to the side to let Sam jump into the grave to open the coffin. Sam opens the top and peers inside, his face scrunching up in confusement. There is a skeleton inside wearing a suit.

"Was Larry a World War I vet?"

"No."

"Then who the hell is in his coffin?"

"No idea."

"Maybe Larry survived the attack. He has someone else placed in his coffin so that everyone thinks he is dead. If everyone thinks he's dead, he's safe from Abaddon and everything that comes with her. Maybe he's living this guy's life. Who is he?" you ask.

"Captain Thomas J. Cary III."

"Okay. What are we waiting for, then? Cover this up. Let's be on our way."

Henry walks off back to the car, and you roll your eyes in annoyance. Sam jumps out of the grave after placing the top of the coffin back on, and you use your magic to put the dirt back inside the hole. Once you're done, you three follow Henry back to the car.

You need intel on this guy, so you need to head back to the motel room and do some research. When you walk in the door, Dean heads to the main bedroom area in the other room and lays Joanna down on his bed. She hasn't woken up at all, so you know she will sleep throughout the night.

You, Sam, and John take the chairs at the table, and when Dean emerges from the bedroom, he pulls up a chair next to you. Sam is reading John's journal, John is just twiddling his thumbs and whistling "As Time Goes By", and you're using Sam's laptop. Dean takes a seat next to you and takes over on the laptop, not that you're complaining.

"What is that? I know that tune."

"'As Time Goes By'. It's from Casablanca."

"Right. Dad used to whistle it from time to time."

"Your father saw 'Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy' at the drive-in one night. It scared the beeswax out of him. So, I got him this little music box that played that song to help him sleep at night. It worked like a charm."

"Wow, it's hard to believe Dad was ever scared of anything," Sam chuckles.

"Hey, according to county records, Tom Carey lives in Lebanon, Kansas, and is a very happy 127-year-old," Dean says, getting back on track. "I say we get some shut-eye and head over first thing in the morning."

"Wait, listen to this. According to Dad's journal, he once tortured a demon that said he made his bones working for Abaddon, who is a Knight of Hell."

"What does that mean?" you ask.

"Knights of Hell are hand-picked by Lucifer himself. They are of the first-fallen, first-born demons."

"So, very pure and very strong," Sam confirms.

"Legend has it that Archangels had killed all of them, which, as we have witnessed, is not the case. Unless she's the last of her kind."

"Wait, let's sidetrack for a second here. You're keeping me in the dark, Henry. What did you mean by how powerful I can be, and what legacy do I come from?"

"Have you ever heard of the Sapphire Witch?"

"No."

"Legend has it that the Sapphire Witch has control over Order Magic, which is the opposite of Chaos Magic. You can do anything you set your mind to. The Sapphire Witch can bend reality to her image. I've never seen a Sapphire Witch at her peak, but I know they exist. The Men of Letters have kept records of them dating back generations. I'm truly shocked you haven't heard of this. Your mother was a sapphire witch, and your grandmother was one. She was one of my good friends."

"I can't believe this," you whisper, trying to process this information.

You're the Sapphire Witch? Will Joanna and Maryann be one too? What does this mean for your magic? What sides have you yet to unlock?

"You say that belonged to your father?" Henry moves on to John's journal. "May I?"

Sam slides the journal over to Henry.

"It's a hunter's journal. I assume the Men of Letters used journals, too?"

"I intended to. I sent away for one the day before my initiation." He opens the journal and sees pictures Dean has stashed in there. He moves them to reveal a "HW" stamped in the leather. "As a matter of fact, judging by my initials here, this one, I believe."

"This was yours?"

"It must have arrived after... I'm beginning to gather I don't make it back from this time, do I?"

"We don't know for sure. All we do know is that Dad never saw you again."

"What did he think happened to me?"

"He thought you ran out on him."

"John was a legacy. I was supposed to teach him the ways of the Letters," Henry sighs sadly.

"Well, he learned things a little differently."

"How?"

"The hard way. Surviving a lonely childhood and a fucking war only to get married and have his wife taken by a demon... Then, later killed by one himself. That man got a bum rap around every turn. You know what? He kept going, and in the end, he did a hell of a lot more good than he did bad."

"Debatable," you blurt.

Dean and Sam's head snap to you, and you press your lips together. Dean scoffs and gets up, slamming the laptop shut. He grabs his jacket and his keys with the intent on leaving alone.

"I'm sorry. I wish I had been there for him."

"Yeah, it's a little late for that now, don't you think?"

"It's the price we pay for upholding great responsibility."

"Your responsibility was to your family, not some glorified book club!" Dean yells.

"I was a legacy. I had no choice."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that."

Dean walks out of the motel room and slams the door behind him. You let him leave alone since he needs time to cool down on his own. Sam decides this is a good time to get some sleep. He will take the other bed where Joanna is, and you and Dean will take the bed with Joanna while Henry will take the sofa couch.

It's just you and Henry at the table now, and you feel like this needs to be said.

"John wasn't a good father," you whisper to Henry. "The best he could have done for us was to take care of us when we needed him. The best he could have done was to move on after Mary died, but instead, he took me and his sons down with him."

You get up and head to the bedroom to get ready for bed. Dean doesn't come back for another hour, but when he does, everyone else is sleeping. Dean tiptoes past Henry and into the bedroom where you and Sam are asleep. He takes off his shoes and gets into bed next to Joanna so that she is between you and Dean.

You stay like that until the morning, but when you wake up, Henry is gone.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[babyboibucky]

Deserve Better

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky disappeared and came back only to say goodbye.

Word Count: 2,887

Warnings: angsty angsty angsty angsty angsty

A/N: Post-endgame timeline with lotsa angst! Included Andy Barber here because why the fuck not but he’s really not a major character lol

Deserve Better || Undeserving || Deserve The Best

MAIN MASTERLIST

-

The day you got Bucky back was the same day he said goodbye. He left you— said it was for the best— just as when your fingertips touched him for the first time after five years of longing.

Your reunion with Bucky after the snap was nothing like the movies, far from it actually. A lot of things happened when he was snapped back, in between the battle with Thanos and Tony’s funeral. Besides, you weren’t an Avenger; you didn’t work for SHIELD nor the CIA. In fact, you remained oblivious of the battle that was going on until the moment of chaos caused by the sudden reappearances of half of the world’s population.

And then you received a message from Steve, about the tragedy and the sacrifice of Tony Stark. He was inviting you to the funeral and as much as you felt devastated from the loss of a hero, you couldn’t help but focus your attention on the last line of Steve’s message.

Bucky’s going to be there too. He’s back. He needs you to be there with him.

It wasn’t until the funeral was over that you finally got to have Bucky all to yourself. You had locked gazes when you arrived and staring back into his beautiful blue eyes again made your knees weak.

Bucky was really back.

“Hi.” He greeted you first, his voice remained the same— soft and gentle.

One word was enough to make you feel the warmth of his existence. Hearing him, seeing him again felt like finally coming home after a very long, tiring day.

“Hi, Buck.” You whispered.

Bucky’s smile was all it took for the dam to finally break. You’d burst into tears right then and there and you were more than ready to feel his arms around you after years of hugging yourself to sleep during his absence.

But the warmth never came. If any, Bucky stopped himself from doing so. You frowned when he took a step back from you, extending his metal arm to keep you at a certain length away from him.

“I’m sorry.” He uttered, refusing to meet your gaze.

“What do you mean?”

“I have to go.” He explained, gently squeezing your arm before rubbing circles on your skin using his thumb.

You didn’t understand why Bucky needed to go when he just got back. You just got him back. You had spent years crying over his disappearance only for him to come back and disappear again?

Bucky explained that he thought he got better but things have become so vastly different after the snap that it left him feeling broken and different again. He told you about Steve’s decision to go back in time, never to return again. How Tony’s death made him feel like it was too late to set things straight and how he would probably carry the guilt and regret from not being able to apologize for what he had done.

“I’ll help you, Buck. We’ll work through this together. I want to be by your side when things get better.” You insisted, tears blurring your vision as you tried to reach for Bucky, wanting to feel him again after such a long time.

But Bucky kept on moving away from you, he kept on pushing you away and you wanted to understand why he wouldn’t let you touch him.

“I’ll only hurt you, I don’t want that to happen. I want to get better because you deserve better. But I can’t do that with you because this...this is something that I gotta figure out by myself.” He further explained.

You shook your head, unable to accept his decision. “Buck...I don’t think I can lose you again. I just got you back...I can’t afford to lose you again, please?”

When you attempted to reach for Bucky’s hand, he finally let you. You quickly entwined your fingers through his metal ones and savored how they felt against your skin. They were cold as usual, but Bucky always oozed a certain warmth that made you feel safe.

But now they’re just that— cold and hard.

“I love you. I’ll wait, Bucky.” You murmured and tugged at his hand before he could even let you go.

Bucky smiled sadly at you, “You don’t have to, doll.”

You shook your head and brought Bucky’s hand to your lips as you cried, “I want to. And I will.”

Pressing one final kiss on his hard knuckles, you watched Bucky slip his hand away from yours before turning around to leave. You felt your chest tighten as if you lost all the oxygen in your lungs the same way you lost Bucky.

Losing him the second time around proved to be even more painful. Because this time, he didn’t just disappear.

He walked away.

-

You waited for Bucky to come home to you for days and weeks until they turned into months...and then years. Still, no Bucky walked through your doorstep but you never stopped hoping.

Sleep was such a rare occurrence to you since Bucky walked away. How do you honestly cope with the loss of someone when you haven’t even healed yet from his first disappearance? You wanted to get mad at him, curse him for suddenly deciding to leave you. But you felt selfish for even thinking about that, because Bucky left to better himself.

To be better for you. He said so himself.

So you kept waiting for him to come back. You made it your reason to keep going. You looked forward to the day you’d hear your door open followed by his heavy foot steps. You wondered, would he smell the same then? Would he still be using your favorite perfume on him? One that smelled like cedar wood and mint and well, Bucky. Would his hair still be of the same length? What about his beard? Would he shave them off before coming back home?

How about his gaze? Would his blue ones still look at you as if you were his moon?

As much as these thoughts made you miss him more, they were the ones that you held onto. They were like your glimmer of hope on nights you were the loneliest, on nights you cried and dreamt of his return only to wake up to an empty, cold space beside you.

You held onto these thoughts every single day in hopes of them becoming real soon enough.

People have told you to move on, to not waste your time waiting for someone who walked away just like that. But you trusted Bucky when he said he wanted to be better because you deserved better. You couldn’t move on, not from Bucky.

You love him with your entire being, so much that his absence caused you physical pain too. You couldn’t even find the right words to describe how much you love Bucky.

In the three years that you spent waiting, you’d met a lot of people too. People who showed interest but none of them really won you over.

You’d met a man named Andy through work. He was a lawyer and was dealing with his own divorce. The connection was there and you wouldn’t deny that.

Two people dealing with the grief from losing someone they love, it wasn’t that hard not to find a common ground. And you did find some solace in Andy and him in you. But it was just that, nothing more and nothing less.

“How has it been?” You asked Andy after he had settled into the booth across of you.

The restaurant was surprisingly scarce on a Sunday morning. Usually there were plenty of customers, their chatters overpowering the soft music playing in the background. Now, it was peaceful and the radio was turned off. There were only the clinks of plates of being set on tables and the footsteps of the staff walking around the place as they attended to the few customers around.

It was serene and peaceful, pretty much like Andy’s aura when he arrived.

“I wouldn’t say I’m fine but I guess I’m at a much better place now than before.” He said with a nod, as if he was finally agreeing with himself after questioning his emotions for the past few months.

You offered a kind smile and placed a hand on top of his, “It shows, Andy. I’m glad. I’m happy for you.” You said.

He had been going through a lot of emotions since he signed the divorce papers. He didn’t want to but knew it was for the best. Andy had a son, Jacob, and he didn’t want for his son to grow up in an environment where his parents no longer slept on the same bed. As much as he loved Laurie, the relationship was no longer working and was becoming toxic the more they stayed together.

“And you?” Andy asked back before calling the waiter.

You let out a deep breath, “Still waiting.” You chuckled as your stared at your hand that remained on top of Andy’s.

Andy spared you an apologetic glance but nodded, “I do hope he knows how lucky he is.” He said, turning his palm up so he could hold your hand.

To others, the gesture may seem romantic but it really wasn’t. You and Andy both knew that despite the similarities and the comfort you found in each other, the both of you were not meant to be together in that way.

Your heart still belonged to Bucky after all.

-

When you received an invitation from Sam Wilson, you felt confused and excited. There was going to be a huge gala at the compound to honor Steve Rogers’ legacy as Captain America.

You’d heard the news about Steve’s passing not long after he went back in time. He finally got to live the life he deserved and when he came back, it was as if everything had been corrected. He may no longer be the super soldier that many knew but he remained the same person— but he wasn’t the man out of time anymore. Despite his white hair and wrinkles, Steve looked the happiest he had ever been.

You wondered how Bucky coped up with such a huge loss, you always worried for him.

It sparked debate though, Steve’s decision to leave the Avengers. Some got angry, said that Steve was selfish for doing that. Others showed sympathy, that Steve didn’t owe the world anything. He’d spent a lifetime fighting for everyone. It was time that he fought for himself and what he deserved. And Sam fought just as hard for Steve’s legacy and finally, all his hard work finally paid off.

What confused you was whether Bucky was going to be there? Does he know about the gala? Was he finally back? If he was, why hasn’t he come home to you yet? You had so many questions that you wanted to ask.

The answers though, were literally in the palm of your hand— the invitation.

-

It was no surprise how big the gala was. Just on your way inside, you’d already come across a lot of big personalities. There were politicians and popular celebrities too. You felt intimidated given that you went by yourself and that you weren’t really part of their world.

You were just you, someone who had fallen in love with one Bucky Barnes who introduced you to the world of superheroes. The rest was history.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” You turned around and found Sam approaching you with a huge smile.

You embraced him and smiled as you pulled away, “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” You told him.

It was Steve and Sam that you’d met first and they were nothing but kind to you. Despite being well, ordinary, they welcomed you like their own when Bucky had introduced you.

Sam’s expression changed at your response, “I honestly thought that you wouldn’t show up after Bucky said—“

“Bucky?” You immediately cut him off upon hearing his name.

“Bucky’s back?” You asked and Sam had never looked more confused as ever.

He carefully nodded, brows knitting together as he frantically looked around. “I thought you knew about it.”

“How long? How long has it been since he came back, Sam?” You probed, feeling your throat constricting at the unexpected revelation.

Sam merely looked at you with what seemed to be pity. Why? Why was he looking at you like he was sorry? And why didn’t Bucky tell you when he came back? Was he simply not ready? Or was he waiting for the right time?

“Sam, how long?” You asked again, voice firmer this time around.

“A year ago. He decided to join the Avengers but wanted to undergo formal training before taking on the responsibility of one.” He responded.

You opened your mouth to say something but it’s as if your whole body was paralyzed. He had been back for an entire year now...and yet he kept you waiting?

A hand on your arm pulled you back to the surface, looking up at Sam you shook your head in utter confusion.

“I don’t understand why he didn’t tell me.”

Sam sighed, “I thought you knew. He said he saw you and—“

Sam’s words died on his tongue when he saw that your attention was no longer on him. Following the line of your sight, Sam turned around and saw that Bucky had walked into the venue. He swallowed and couldn’t hide the guilt he felt from assuming that you knew about his return. Before he could apologize, you’d brushed past him as you kept your gaze on Bucky.

Why he didn’t inform you of his return was beyond you and to be honest, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about it for now. Because Bucky was right in front of you and it felt like forever since you last saw him.

A lot has changed. He chopped off his hair but he still sported some scruff. Bucky looked closer to his younger self back in the 40’s. You remembered the conversation you had with him about cutting his hair.

“Should I cut it?” Bucky stood in your bathroom, observing his long locks in the mirror as he ran his fingers through them.

You walked over to him, hugging him from behind and pressing your lips on his back before moving to stand beside him.

“Do you want to?” you asked.

Bucky scrunched his nose, “Maybe in the future. I do miss my hair back then.” he smiled.

You chuckled, “Back when Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes used to sweep the ladies off of their feet?” you teased.

Bucky turned to you and wrapped an arm around your wait pulling you closer to kiss your lips, “Hmm, I wanna see if that hair will have the same effect on you.” he said and kissed your cheek.

You hummed as you caressed his face with your delicate hands, “I’d like to see that too, but maybe you should keep the scruff.”

But it wasn’t just his hair that changed. It was his entire demeanor— his aura seemed a lot lighter now, he seemed happier and confident. You knew it for a fact because he wasn’t wearing a glove to hide his metal hand. It was out on display for everyone to see and shake, apparently.

You watched in awe as Bucky interacted with the people around him. He used to avoid eye contact with strangers but now he seemed relaxed doing so. Although he would still open and close his metal hand, something he did whenever he was anxious. The crowd still made him uncomfortable but he’s shown a lot of improvement since then.

The question as to why he never told you about his return continued to linger in the back of your head. But you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling from ear to ear, eyes brimming with tears as you quickened your steps.

Your Bucky was finally back.

And then the world seemed to have stopped when a certain blonde walked over to Bucky, her hand sliding over to his cheek as she leaned up to press a quick peck on his lips.

You knew her of course, Sharon Carter; and you knew about her and Steve. It was Bucky himself who told you about them and how proud he was that Steve finally decided to try his luck at romance. Which is why you felt even more appalled at the scene playing before you.

The way Bucky slid an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him and how he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. How he was smiling down at her, whispering to her ear as they laughed.

Bucky was in love with Sharon. You didn’t have to ask him that anymore because he was looking at her like she was his moon, his source of light in the darkness.

You knew that because he looked at you the same way, back when you still had his heart.

Suddenly, the questions plaguing your mind found their answers. You understood now why he never came home to you.

He did get better, you could tell that by the way he smiled and laughed.

Bucky was better now, but not for you. At least, not anymore.

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar  @bakugouswh0r3

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

My Apology.

//If you follow this blog, especially if you’re a follower who was around yesterday, then I ask nicely you take the time to listen to me.

//To get straight to the point, I’m here because I want to apologize.

//For those who are unawares, yesterday, I discovered that Tumblr had made the absolute god awful mistake of forcing me to use their god awful new post editor for asks. Before I went on a three week break, I was allowed to use the legacy editor for my asks, thus I wasn’t weighed down by any of the issues that the new editor brings. I have a long list of problems with it, and depending on how things go, I might make a post tonight about it.

//Me and the new editor don’t get along, and my problems go very deep underwater. Bottom line is I think changing the post editor to what it has now become since the legacy editor, mainly with the uncomfortable UI, different ways of posting images, and of course the image limit, is frankly an idiotic decision that I am furious about.

//And if you were around yesterday you would know that, because I said something really shitty yesterday.

//I still have access to the legacy, unlimited editor for Tumblr in the regular post asks, and I’m hoping it remains that way because, as someone who has been on Tumblr for years now, writing this story that has become a huge part of my life, so I have the right to keep the old editor. But if the people at staff decide to turn around and remove the right to use it from me, blocking me from using Legacy Editor ever again, I threatened that I would never ever use their website again, and Danganronpa Survivor would end before it’s time.

//I ended up saying things like “my days on this platform are numbered” and junk. And I realized almost immediately after I finished answering asks last night that that was REALLY shitty of me.

//It didn’t occur to me just how much some of you love this story and my work. And the fact that I threatened to take that away from you just because of my issues with the new editor was just...straight up wrong of me.

//But it doesn’t end there, because I ended up bringing it to another blog too. You might have seen me ask on main from @a-student-out-of-time what the mods way of bypassing the editor limits was, and then grieve about it over there as well.

//So not only did I kick up a shitstorm, I brought said shitstorm to another blog who had absolutely no reason to be caught up in all of it.

//The good news is that the mods and people over on that server were really supportive. The main mod who runs the blog is a well put-together person and just gave me straight up facts that being defeatist isn’t going to solve anything. On top of that, the askers who know/follow both our blogs recognized that I’ve been through a lot lately, and that these changes don’t help.

//While that is true, that’s not an excuse.

//I don’t know if I ever openly talked about it before, though I don’t really try to hide it, but here’s a fun little fact about me that you might not have known before: I am autistic!

//And unlike some people, that’s never been something I’ve ever had a problem with. I LIKE being different, and I like having the weird, zany thoughts that I do, because without them, this blog wouldn’t be as special as it is to me or to you guys. But GOD it’s a pain in the ass to function as a normal human being sometimes and deal with my problems on my own.

//Sometimes I feel like I have a brain that’s two or three years younger than my body, and I’m prone to throwing temper tantrums and getting angry when things don’t go my way. And when I saw just how nervous and upset some of you were when I said the blog would be shutting down, it made me realize that, as always, I overreacted.

//And I hate that I acted like that. So I’m sorry to those people, I’m sorry to everyone in the ask box who follows me, and I’m sorry to ASooT’s audience too for dragging you into this.

//Maybe this apology is a little overblown and excessive for what it is; it’s not like I’ve killed a person or anything, but I still probably hurt a lot of people’s feelings and upset them, and I need to make it clear that I am remorseful for that.

//So let me make it clear now that DR Survivor IS NOT ENDING. I will do my absolute damndest to power throw the shitty editor, and if what I fear will happen happens, then I’ll figure something out. Either I’ll work around it, find someone who can bring the old editor back, or my safest bet - switching to an entirely new website. What that website is, I don’t know yet, but I’m preparing to find one just in case.

//However, should all else fail, Tumblr does plan to implement a subscription service that removes the image limit. I am willing to pay for that service to keep the blog running, but that’s not the only thing about the post editor that I dislike, so I don’t know what to do about it. I do have some time to decide though.

//That all being said, one last thing I want to make clear is that even if I wish to apologize for my behavior, that doesn’t mean my feelings towards the new editor have not changed. So if Tumblr staff by any chance are reading this post, I want to say this:

//I know you don’t care how any of us feel, and I know you still plan to “develop” your new editor more, but as I said in a previous post, you fucked up massively. Even if you want to develop the editor further, if the final product keeps the changes you’ve already made to it, then congrats. You’ve officially ruined your entire website FOREVER.

//And if I’m being honest, with the way I’ve seen the people in charge act about it; and not to point fingers and spout bullshit or anything, but...it seems to me like you KNOW your changes don’t benefit anyone, and for some reason, don’t actually seem to CARE?

//Maybe I’m wrong, but if I am, I really want to be proven wrong.

//Anyway, enough of that. I’ve said what I’ve needed to say and will finish off by just apologizing one more time. I am still going to write this story, even if it becomes all the more painful for me to do so.

//And in case this post hasn’t made it obvious, your support GREATLY matters to me. I write this blog, but you guys run it, and without you, I wouldn’t be here. So I will do whatever it takes to make sure you keep your content. And that this story continues for a while to come.

-Mod

[komajordan]

Fan-Director’s Cut #1 Nickelodeon All Star Brawl 2

Welcome here at PBM where I have a new series to help revitalize my activeness. Don’t worry my reviews aren’t going away this is just something new. Here at Fan-Director’s Cut I will try to either reworking pre-established titles in media or in this case making a sequel and figuring out how to expand upon it. Today we have Nickelodeon All Star Brawl a game which attempted to be another Smash-style platform fighter but once again I have to mention fell short with only a few pieces of post launch content.

Today this cut will be broken down to 2 categories since I’ve seen what other people said on the game and that’s pretty much the main problems people have.

1.Gameplay

2.Roster

Gameplay:

The mechanics being Smash-inspired should follow more into their footsteps. The most essential things we should add are a Side-Special and Final Specials. The Side Specials need to be added as those have been a Smash stable since Melee on the GameCube. And Final Specials are heavily associated with fighting games at this point that we need to add it for the sequel.

Cosmetics really need an overhaul. Every character only had one costume and an additional one post-launch. So I don’t care if it gets added later but at least 2 more costumes would at least make fighting dittos less confusing.

The modes would be Arcade Mode but the main difference I would have is that the beginning and end would have pictures and text of the character your playing as and what their purpose fighting is to show off the character’s backstories personalities a bit more.And speaking of that, can we have the dialogue exchanges actually make sense because pretty much every exchange involved an iconic quote that has nothing to do with the fight or the character their fighting and yeah we can do better.

Online Mode could honestly be the same not that much comes up in terms of problems besides glitches or mechanics that could be patched.

But I want to appeal more to the casual market more since hey this is a kids game we need some more casual content so I would add challenges centered around characters kinda like Smash 4 or Nick Kart Racers 3 with references or setups relating to the characters something as simple as defeat Shredder as Leonardo to something really obscure like Battle of the Dad’s between Nigel or Hugh something silly like that. That’s all I want to cover

Roster:

So this section is more inspired by Thorgi’s Arcade’s Build The Roster series and like with that series I want to be realistic with my options here. So the last game only had 22 characters and 3 post launch characters making that 25 so I think we should definitely go higher especially since other platform fighters like Multiversus are getting pretty close to reaching us. So I think the best solution to how many we should add is to look at GameMill’s other rosters in the Nick Kart Racers series. The first game had 12 characters, the second game had 30 characters, and the 3rd had 42 characters discounted the 2 DLC characters. So we increased by 18 and 12 which averages out to 15 so for this roster we will have 37 Characters. And there’s no need to cut anyone since everyone has a purpose being there like SpongeBob and Jenny where their fan favorites or characters like April or Oblina where they have their own fanbase to them or are liked by the competitive seen. So before we get into the actual roster I have to discuss what characters I couldn’t add due to copyright or whatever the case these characters can’t be added.

Honorable Mentions:

-Timmy Turner, Doug, and Henry & June(Kablam)- I get these characters are have a legacy with Nickelodeon and do have people who want them in but the problem these characters face is Disney. Yeah even Timmy being owned by Nirvana for seasons 1-5 of Fairly Odd Parents around the world so I’m sorry but they’re out and believe me none of this was biased.

Any of the Rugrats or Nick Jr. Characters- The main problem stems from how Nickelodeon probably won’t want to put preschool characters or toddler characters into a fighting game and someone might say for the Rugrats “Just use the All Grown Up versions” but if they did that you lost the iconic versions of those characters.

So anyways after seeing who will not be on the roster let’s go into the 12 new characters:

Expanding Franchises Already Used:

Squidward(SpongeBob SquarePants)

Jimmy Neutron

Arnold(Hey Arnold)

Zuko(Avatar:The Last Airbender)

Dib(Invader Zim)

Donatello(TMNT)

Raphael(TMNT)

New Franchises:

Rudy(Chalkzone)

Dagget and Norbert(Angry Beavers)

Very Obscure or Recent Franchises:

Miko(Glitch Techs)

Vendetta(Making Fiends)

Mikey Simon(Kappa Mikey)

[catty-words]

on the school dance fallout or, a thorough examination of the boys’ apologies to julie

full disclosure, i used to take serious issue with 1.06 for what it did to julie’s righteous anger in light of the boys letting her down, and my gripes haven’t fully gone away. but i have spent some time thinking on the fallout since my first (several) viewing(s) of the show and i finally noticed some emotionally nuanced storytelling that i needed time to come to appreciate. so, if you’ll indulge me another gif-filled meta post...

everyone knows that a good apology demonstrates an understanding of how you wronged the person you’re apologizing to, otherwise the words i’m sorry end up being fairly empty. and luckily for the boys, julie does a good job of immediately and effectively communicating her hurt feelings:

the first part is directed at luke specifically as her main co-writer, while the rest is about how all three of them let her down. it couldn’t be more clear that the reason she’s so betrayed is that a) they’ve made her feel like julie and the phantoms is less important to them than sunset curve and b) they’ve failed to consider her point of view or empathize with how important the show was to her.

which is why singing sorry a bunch of times, though charming, leaves her unmoved. and it’s why booking another gig actually makes her angrier. a gig the boys have deemed important enough to show up for is not a present or an olive branch to her, it’s a slap in the face. and if the boys had actually been paying attention to what she’d said the night of the dance, they could have anticipated her reaction.

but they clearly haven’t listened, so they haven’t learned how to do better or make things right. which is why this is such an important beat in the scene in the studio:

hounding julie to rejoin the band, even with such nice sentiments as “you’re the best thing that’s happened to us since we became ghosts”, does nothing to address how undervalued julie feels getting stood up because, as she points out above, their ability to do what they love is very limited without her. that makes her a powerful and essential member of the band, but it doesn’t prove that they care about her, julie, the person. and you can see in the reaction shot how the truth of her words lands for all of them.

their remorseful silence gives julie the opportunity to reiterate one of the points she made the night before, and it’s important to note which part of her hurt feelings she chooses to revisit.

the fact that they made the choice to pay more attention to their old music in spite of the music they were creating together is the thing that hurt her feelings the most. and, of course, her open hostility and her imagined reasons for why the boys picked sunset curve over julie and the phantoms (i.e. selfishness) puts luke on the defensive and ends with everyone leaving the scene dissatisfied.

great! okay, so here’s the part that’s bugged in the past (and the present, just. a little less so.) — in their attempt to deescalate the situation, alex and reggie give julie, and the audience, the all-important luke backstory. but like asking julie to rejoin the band with a shinier gig than a school dance flies in the face of actually making amends, so, too, does asking julie to empathize with luke’s emotional journey when the boys failed to take julie’s into account when they hurt her. only this time, it works as an olive branch.

now, i’m not saying that julie’s acting out of character in being sympathetic to luke’s pain, quite the opposite is the case. and i’m also not saying it’s bad that she does find sympathy for his situation — again, i’d argue that the opposite is true. it’s just, at the same time, it’s not a good look to force aside the young woman of color’s hurt in service of the white dude who hurt her feelings in the first place’s tragic backstory. the narrative is asking julie not to be mad at the choices luke made in the past two episodes because he’s really sad, actually.

and sure that’s an ungracious read of the moment, but i stand by the fact that it’s present in the text of the episode all the same, even with a little more nuance than i’m currently giving it credit for.

all that being said, alex and reggie do a bit to win back this highly insensitive maneuver with another stab at an apology.

alex addresses julie’s comment about them knowing “how tough it’s been for her to play” by reiterating that not showing up let her down and they get that that’s a crappy way to feel, while reggie takes a crack at julie’s “our songs were good” by emphasizing that they all love being in a band and making music with her. it’s a slight step up from their sorry in the garage, but not a complete fix because they’re all still sitting with the fact that they need julie to make the most of their music and how that complicates their declarations of loyalty.

the thing that makes this attempt at reconciliation different than those prior, of course, is this line:

the acknowledgement that things haven’t been fixed + the politeness + the implication that they’re willing to put in the time to earn her trust back so long as she lets them makes the apology a good enough one to accept. well, that, and:

one gets the sense that if rose could actually speak to julie in that moment, she’d be reminding her the value of grace. and, of course, we know that this also serves as a reminder to julie that good things are fleeting, loss is around every corner, and holding close what you care about is important. so she does just that by letting go of her (righteous, righteous) anger and reuniting the band.

still, even though alex and reggie have had their chance to make amends, luke doesn’t get the same moment to show he’s actually paid attention to julie’s needs in 1.06. so, naturally, he starts immediately in their first scene together in 1.07. 

i mentioned in my exhaustive list for “finally free” that julie picking a sunset curve song for their reunion number is a lovely, understated way for her acknowledge luke’s lost musical legacy, and i have similar feelings about the fact that luke suggests “edge of great” for their follow-up gig. it’s his first step in proving to her that he does care about the music they’ve written together with actions instead of empty apologies and misguided gestures.

by the end of the episode, though, the three of them take a step back (reggie gets points for his being, like, half a step) when they learn that, in addition to letting down julie, one of the consequences of their night chasing revenge is a ticking clock on their existence.

though i understand the urge to protect julie from the alarming news that their power is going out, there’s also a lot of selfishness behind the decision. julie loses them in the end no matter what, but lying to her about it and planning to leave without an explanation shows a disregard for her emotional journey in a similar way standing her up did. in fact, this plan is basically to stand her up for eternity. not cool, guys.

naturally, since it’s luke who’s the one proposing the terrible plan and it’s luke who never officially demonstrated his understanding of how he hurt julie’s feelings by not showing up when it mattered, it’s fitting that he’s suddenly more in tune with his own feelings. and, with that, comes a new awareness of how his and julie’s feelings interact, starting with this moment in 1.08.

you can see his conflict over her declaration. she’s worried without knowing just how much there is to be worried about, and that makes him sad because it’s confirmation of the fact that he’s important to her. that losing him will mean a lot of pain for her. but instead of cluing her in, he makes a conscious choice to continue withholding the information of his imminent departure. and maybe it’s such a weak deflection because he’s already starting to come to terms with how unfair he’s being to her, but even so, he’s not being a good friend when julie is showing up for him in big, unexpected ways he’d never even thought to ask for.

and again, here — 

— just after they’ve acknowledged that there’s a something and not a nothing between them, you can see him sober with the thought that she doesn’t know they’re about to lose each other. but it’s still not enough to move him to share. maybe because he prefers that she live with the possibility of that something when he no longer can, maybe because he’s too caught up in his own feelings about how crappy this hand they’ve been dealt by the universe is. but in any case, he keeps tight-lipped.

UNTIL.

it’s seeing her excited about a future their music can’t have that finally pushes him into coming clean. and i love how subtly this demonstrates that he has been paying attention, actually, and he knows that what hurt julie the most was the feeling that their music took a backseat to his past. if he crosses over without telling her the whole, ugly truth about the mistake he made by standing her up, then he crosses over stuck in that mistake. because part of that whole, ugly truth is the beautiful realization that no music is worth making, julie, if we’re not making it with you. and he’s not quite at that particular aspect of his truth yet — he still has to experience the what if of caleb’s club to be able to make the declaration with the conviction he does — but when he finally does tell her that and means it, she’s given the catharsis she’s needed since the dance. because he’s backing up his apology with action (i.e. being willing to literally no longer exist instead of making music with someone else) and providing her with the same consideration she showed him when she rejoined the band because his loss felt more important than her anger. and reaching that level of give and take in their relationship, physically represented in their hug, finally sets them free.

so, yes. even though 1.06 is clunky and a little tasteless at times, i can acknowledge that the story manages to win any missteps back. quite poetically, honestly. all’s forgiven.

[fayesemblemring]

Hii can I ask about your OC ideas for your fe game concept? Ooo and do you have any ideas for an overall story? 🤗

(Follow-up to this post)

First of all I AM SO SORRY ANON FOR TAKING SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS

I don't know what is it about my OCs and concepts, I want to talk about them but every time someone asks me about them I just procrastinate answering until the end of time😭

Anyway, here's all my main concepts, but they all have their posts where I go more into detail about them!

No. 1 - Gaia

The first OC I ever made is Gaia, a princess able to wield earth magic!

Her whole deal is that she constantly tries to hype herself up as this larger-than-life hero of legend (like the one she was named after) complete with theatrics... But it's all a facade to hide her massive impostor syndrome.

Basically, she'd be the comedic rival in a shonen.

But it turns out her impostor syndrom is kinda justified, since she's adopted. Which wouldn't be a problem if she didn't live in a world where the right blood gives you suoerpowers. And yes, this means she doesn't naturally have access to her earth magic and only does so temporarily because her parents secretly infused her with some of their blood without her knowing, which is not a viable solution for the future since bloodlines play a massive role in politics and basically every noble has access to some special blood. And if word got out that Gaia was adopted and her parents were infertile all along...

Gaia's whole story is about her whole world crashing down in multiple place, and finding her place in a world of demigods.

I don't have many ideas for her world yet save from being so reliant on bloodlines like Jugdral, but a few other ideas I had in mind were of it being a world where all dragons have gone long extinct but their legacy heavily influenced human culture, and the main villain trying to transfuse within himself every kind of Divine Blood in existence and using all their powers to become a new god and remake the world.

No. 2 - Sci-fi vs fantasy

The second main idea for an FE concept is one about fantasy vs sci-fi, where your typical FE world is invaded by a corporation from outer space, and the whole game would be about that dichotomy.

Two different cultures shown in a way very similar to Fates, with its separate sets of classes and weapons, two different campaign that take place in the same continuity where you play as a magic scholar trying to fight back against the invaders and a rogue engineer who becomes part of a rebellion, and a third final campaign to wrap the story up.

Basically the entire game would be about discussing the differences between the two worlds but most importantly the unlikely similarities, the fact magic and technology might secretly be connected and whenever the two can exist in symbiosis with each other.

Also a loose idea I had was of the local Divine Dragon being the descendant of a space tribe (because fuck yeah space dragons), where its monarch has been seized by the corporation and either has been turned into their ship they use to conquer planets or turned into an AI, and having the final fight be a confrontation between the two.

No.3 - Global turn count and time loop

Third and final main concept is one where you have a global turn count that affects the world and story, complete with a time rewind mechanic where the protagonist Kayla teams up with the local Dark Dragon to figure out what caused the end of the world and stop it, with a lot of context-sensitive dialogue in the style of Undertale and Hades. I went more into detail about this concept in a previous post.

And as a bonus small idea, I pictured an FE game that takes place in one of those cozy post-apocalyptic worlds where nature has taken back modern society, if only because a Fire Emblem with that setting sounds cool as shit