#didnt use a hand reference and it actually turned out pretty good!

[navii-blaze]

Doodle of what a post-mecha arc could look like for Sally

[riaki]

nice boys and sour hearts | satoru gojo x reader

wc: 4.6k cw: minor swearing, he refers to u as 'momma' once (its normal i promise) n i think thats about it post suguru defection, shoko typical smoking ; no established relationship b ur def more than friends

i didnt want this angst to be too intense so i made it super duper fluffy. hopes it tastes like strawberries to u cs it does in my head ; another one of those fics i whipped up to meet the weekend deadline b i’m actually proud of this one not proofread!

satoru hates arguing with you.

it bites at him; twists his heart from the inside out in such a gut-wrenching way that he can hardly stand seeing your nose wrinkle in frustration and your eyes narrow with impatience, let alone hear the words coming out of your mouth, dripping with venom and irritation directed at him. he's never been used to being on the receiving end.

it tastes sour; bitter on his tongue in a way he's never been accustomed to. his tastebuds only recognize the sweet taste of fruit syrup, powdered sugar, or warm chocolate as home; he never indulges in the bitter, like the black coffee the kid he took in seems to like so much. but he'll take the silly sour lemon drops with sweet cream in the center, only because they remind him of you. you, so sweet when you love but sour when you're annoyed, which happens to be now, in this instant.

of course, he'll tell himself he doesn't mind. that sweet and sour have always gone nicely together. like strawberry lemonade on hot summer afternoons when the both of you have had enough of being stuffed into a clammy hot classroom with your musclebrain teacher. sometimes its the three of you, maybe even the four of you if you get lucky with the pixie stick trade offering (a healthier alternative to a cigarette, you both agreed on). but nowadays, it was only ever the two of you. the bitter had chosen his own path, and tangy was locked up in the infirmary sun up to sun down.

but right now, you're upset with him. and he absolutely despises it— to him, it's abhorrent. a strong word, but it's only fitting. but he can't help it when your conversation lingers in his mind, spinning itself a web of self-doubt and hurt and anger as he slips his gym shoes off and redresses himself by the school lockers, running a hand through his hair with a forced, annoyed exhale.

it was nothing big, really. or at least, that's what he thinks. you'd been in the gym after school, watching as he messed around with the basketball, seeing how long he could go dribbling by himself with a bump of his knee there, pushing it to the floor with his hand and watching it bounce back up with mild interest. he had no one to play with, but at least the ball would come back up no matter how much he pushed it down.

it was small. barely worth fussing over.

he had already been irritated. it was hot out, because summer was coming around. sweat beaded on his neck and rolled down his chest, seeping into his shirt as he wiped his forehead and made another shoot at the hoop, landing back on his feet with a soft thud as the basketball rattled around the rusted metal ring and fell through the net for the nth time that afternoon.

a hum of approval comes from your throat, followed by a loud whistle of contentment from him as he watches the ball bounce on the floor. he hikes his sunglasses up his forehead, bringing an arm up and wiping away the sweat on his cheek with his sleeve as he turns to look at you.

"that was pretty good, yeah? i think i deserve a celebratory smooch. lay some sugar on me, momma'." he laughs, loud and arrogant. you just give him a pointed look at that, but he ignores it as a sign for something wrong and only acknowledges it as your dramatic endearment. like speeding up at the sight of a yellow light in hopes that you'll make it instead of slowing down at the warning.

his shoes made squeaking sounds on the gym floor as he made his way over to you, swiping his shades off his face and sliding them onto your forehead, nestling in your hair as he grabbed a rag from the bench and wiped the sweat from his jaw. you have his uniform jacket on your lap, the yellow button glinting in the dying sunlight filtering in through the windows, reflecting off indiscernible flecks of dust in the air.

you had watched him with quiet contentment, observing the languid way he moved, graceful like a dancer moving in water. but then, you seemed to remember something; his lips pressed into a thin line, tilted to one side in anticipation. it made you hesitate— he always knew when you were about to speak before you even opened your mouth. he had come to notice, and appreciate, little things about you like that.

"were you smoking with shoko?" you had asked him. he tilted his head, eyebrow cocked up as he made a face. "no, i wasn't. why d'ya ask?" he huffed, watching from the corner of his eye with mild disinterest as the basketball, still rolling from his previous goal, bumped into the wall. cocky as ever.

(he wouldn't even look you in the eye when you were being dead serious.)

you reach a hand into his jacket, fishing around for something in his pocket; that gets his attention. who knows what trinkets and candy wrappers he has in there? and he'd hate for you to send him to his yearly checkup early again; the nurses always try to coddle him, and he has half a mind to charge for battery. nevertheless, he almost mistakes what you pull out for a lollipop stick. but it's not— it's a cigarette; a white papery hit of cancer with a dead cherry. certainly not a wise idea to keep that in his pocket among the other very flammable wax wrappers and the occasional flower petal, but who were you to judge? you, who's lips pucker like they've just tasted lemon juice when he eyes the unlit cigarette, utterly unamused.

he knows that you know it's his; the subtle glistening of pink around the end points to the gloss on his lips; he can practically taste it on his tongue. he wonders if you'd put the cigarette to your mouth too if you could have a sample of his lipgloss; then again, you could always just ask for a lip-to-lip taste, and he'd indulge you without a second thought.

you twist the cigarette butt between your fingers so that he can see the remnants of faint strawberry pink on the edges. he just rolls his eyes with a loud huff, leaning his weight back on his heels and shoving his hands in his pant pockets.

"yeesh. you're such a goody two shoes, y'know? how come shoko's allowed to smoke 'n i'm not?" he drawls, an arrogant lilt to his voice as he sticks his lower lip out. you can see a matte spot where the gloss had been transferred to the cigarette paper. you just sigh exasperatedly (he feels like a kid when you do that) and lean forward, resting your elbows on your knees. his jacket bunches up in your lap.

you tap the cigarette to his chest a few times; it makes a soft thumping sound against the fabric, and for a moment he's grateful of the noise; it sounds just like the way his heartbeat picks up with each touch, but you don't hear it. he wonders if you ever will. maybe one day, when there isn't so much distance between you and he has the opportunity to tuck your head to his chest, right over his heart.

"it's not that i care about the lung damage, idiot. why were you smoking?" you asked, voice softening. and he absolutely hates when you do that, because it always pulls on his heartstrings and brings a flush to his face, the way you treat him. he thought that if you did it enough, he'd be sent to the doctor for heart palpitations instead of a sweet tooth.

he doesn't answer you at that. how could he tell you, when he knew all that'd result from it was a thorn in his side? you, being the rose. so beautiful but awfully prickly and unfairly sour like a lemondrop with a sweet inside. then again, he'd much rather have your interrogating care than lose you, like what had happened with the reason he was trying out smoking in the first place.

then, it happened— your voice went unbearably soft, like puffy white covers and featherlight pillows with silk covers on a saturday morning, looking out the window to see pink tulips against a cloudy blue sky as the sun streamed in. it almost made him want to clutch your hand over his chest and see if you could feel the way he was reacting. no doubt, it was filled with such patient tenderness; all-encompassing sweetness it made him want to cry. so he coughed to cover it up, averting his gaze and bringing one hand to his face to absentmindedly smooth down the strands of damp white hair hanging over his eyes.

"thinkin' about suguru again, are you?" you asked gently, tucking the cigarette back into your pocket—yours, not his—and reaching out to take his hand.

his lips parted ever so slightly, gaping like a goldfish. he knew he looked silly, and he should've been okay with that— because being vulnerable with you, out of everyone he ever knew (with maybe the exception of one) was easier than breathing; came more naturally to him than his gravitation to a challenge. the same could be said for sweets.

(maybe he'd have to re-evaluate his proclaimed taste, then. since you were more sour than sweet.)

but this time, he wasn't okay with it. it had been hard to talk about what had happened with suguru one year ago since— it formed a nasty lump in his throat, bitter like black coffee and the wrong mix of herbs. it made him feel weak. reminding him of his shortcomings, which, in his mind, shouldn't even exist in the first place. but you never had a problem ripping his problems from the shielded cavity in his gut, bringing them under the operator's light to dissect and solve like a surgeon. forget about forcing him to the doctor's— at this point, you should be the one in the white coat, not shoko. he thinks about what you'd look like with blue gloves on your delicate fingers for a moment too long.

"what's it to you?" he snaps back after what feels like three years of his life. his fingers tighten around yours for a moment before he pulls his hand away abruptly.

the frown that lingered on your face from then on had been burned into his memory.

and, well, that was his mistake. it spiraled from there— because he knew what it was to you, and he hated that. hated that you could see straight through him like a cloud blue stained glass window; without rose colored lenses like the ones he always wore (the ones he rocked, he thinks).

a crack of thunder overhead jolts him from his thoughts; he couldn't even get in there to dust the spiderwebs away before being jerked back into reality. he clicks his tongue in disappointment, watching as the skies pry themselves open and rain begin to fall in the way it only did over heavy summer showers. he wishes the sky would stop its weeping, but even the strongest has his limitations.

but it doesn't matter. he has one of those cheap plastic umbrellas he'd bought from a convenience store one day in a late march many moons ago, during the brightest blue spring of his life. and so, he didn't understand why he was lingering at the door, swinging the umbrella around his fingers by the hook on the handle, watching as the rain fell with increased fervor. there was no plastic button to keep the folds tied up, so it floundered around with each swing like a tulip bent by monsoon winds. maybe on the coast of some faraway land with windmills and fields of flowers. he wonders if he'll ever get to see the world with you someday— a fleeting thought that crumbles instantly when he conjures your pretty face in his vision, clear yet distorted like a reflection on a glazed pond, rippling water from the dragonflies that skipped over the surface.

you were definitely still angry with him, because you hadn't showed— normally, you'd walk home together. sometimes with shoko, if she didn't leave early. angry words echo in his mind, the image of your downturned lips swimming in his bright vision as he watches the rain streak down the window panes by the lockers. there's a fog settling over the grass outside that's sure to leave dew after the storm. he wonders when that'll be.

"why can't you ever take me seriously? can't you see i'm worried about you?"

"of course i can. but i don't need your damn concern!”

...

he'd been sorely mistaken, that was for sure. loosing his cool and snapping at you wasn't exactly something he took pleasure in, either way. he leans back on his heels, tapping his foot impatiently as he holds the umbrella like a cane against the floor. infinity could probably do away with the rain. another reason as to why he's not even sure why he's waiting here, or why he's holding an umbrella. perhaps to keep in case he has to offer it to some poor, shivering and cowering young maiden lost beneath the shading of a bus stop behind a curtain of rain droplets, with a charming grin and a wink.

maybe.

a shuffle behind him catches his ear; he turns his head, an unamused expression on his face as his eyes drift over the empty room to land on you. the shadows beneath your eyes are prominent, and your hair is unkempt. there are sleep lines on your face; you probably fell asleep in a classroom somewhere, which is why you delayed.

it was evident you weren't expecting to see him, though— with the way your eyes widened a little before they dropped again, nose bridge wrinkling slightly as if you'd caught the scent of something unpleasant. your eyes left his, and he felt a little disappointed as he watched them wander toward the window, where the current downpour was prominent. he didn't like the way it made his chest pang when your attention was anywhere but him, so he raised his hand lazily, tilting his head to catch your attention that he so clearly craved.

"yo. got an umbrella?" he calls, tapping the tip of his budget cane on the floor. the thud is the only sound for a while as your gaze wanders back over to him; reluctant.

"no, i don't. i didn't expect it to rain so hard today." you responded quietly, stepping over to him with a small sigh. almost a little resigned, he thinks. he can't be sure, though. he never is with you. doesn't know whether to expect his candy to be sour in the center or the other way around; but maybe he likes a bit of uncertainty every once in a while. (not with you, though. if it means arguing? never with you.)

his sunglasses are hooked around the collar of your shirt. he doesn't know why it takes him so long to realize, but when he does, he has to clear his throat in an effort to hide the heat on his face and do away with the blush. "here. take mine. i don't need it," he says curtly, offering his umbrella to you. he wants to snatch the shades from your shirt, but he doesn't want anything to go wrong, so he just eyes them warily, careful not to let his gaze slip past into anything you'd be pissed at him for.

you eye him, eyes narrowed as you raise an eyebrow, but you don't protest. your fingers brush against his for a brief moment when you take it, shaking it a little before opening the door and stepping outside, opening it up. it looks like a little clear plastic mushroom cap over your head; you're short enough to constitute as the stalk in his eyes. it's a little funny, but he has to stifle the laugh bubbling on his tongue lest you think he's making a mock of you.

he follows after you, slipping past to stand at your side with his hands in his pockets. you can't help but feel a little curious despite your prolonged anger (you like holding grudges, he knows), so you sneak a glance upward to satiate your wonder. you don't expect him to look as breathtaking as he does.

the clouds are light overhead; they're not a heavy blanket of gray anymore, and a small strip of light manages to push through, shining on satoru's pale white hair. you can make out the edge of his undercut against his neck when the wind picks up a little, the color of fluffy white clouds on a lavender sunset with the sway of yellow flowers beneath an expanse of a bright sky. there's a little cat hair on the collar of his jacket; you realize with a faint flush that it must've been from when you were holding his jacket for him in the gym. somehow, the cat you have at home found its way to satoru. you hope your pet has become a matchmaking fortune teller, for the sake of your happiness.

what catches your eye the most, though, isn't the cat hair on his dark jacket or the faraway look in his misty blue eyes; it's the outline of rain water around him, a product of his infinity, you realize. he's dry underneath the downpour, and it never ceases to amaze you. it's like there's a soft glowing halo against the backdrop of tangled wires, gray walls and pale green bushes— he looks like an angel boy, school bag hooked and hanging over one shoulder.

eventually, you manage to peel your gaze away, and he notices— looks down at you, pressing his lips together and running his tongue over them. he can taste strawberry gloss.

wordlessly, you start walking. and he follows suit, rain bouncing off of him; you catch yourself sneaking glances from under the roof of your clear umbrella between raindrops that slide down the clear plastic. sometime during the walk home, he had gone off and gotten himself a drink from a nearby vending machine— the red can catches your eye, and your fingers curl around the rubber handle of the lent umbrella as you watch him drink; the bob of his adam's apple before he crushes the can up and tosses it into a nearby bush, causing a brief scattering of leaves and a downpour of collecting droplets onto the pavement.

despite the rain, the weeds between the cracks in the sidewalk still stay strong; they have deep roots. much like the way you never fail to scowl at him for littering. he catches it— of course he does. he's been praying for a sign you're not still so hopelessly angry with him that you can't even bring yourself to have a civil walk in the summer rain together. after the scowl, though, comes the smile— the one that always makes him melt in his shoes, much like the sunshine after the rain.

and there it is at last, he thinks. the hard sour coating melts away on his tongue, draining the taste of lemon to reveal a sweet, genuine center. all it takes is time. your lips curve up, and you duck your head, hiding the small bemused laugh that leaves you breathless.

"what are you laughin' at?" he huffs, glaring down at you. but there's no malice behind it— if only you could feel the wave of relief that's washed over him, a crest of white foam that leaves behind still waters reflected in the pools of sapphire in his eyes. nothing like the hit of numbing nicotine he'd shared in the shade of an alleyway with shoko earlier that day— away from the sun; away from you. hidden from both. or maybe they were the same— to him, he couldn't differentiate.

"i'm not laughing!" you protested weakly, immediately wiping the grin from your lips, and he regrets speaking up. "just.. i dunno."

you walk in silence for a little longer, content to listen to the rain lighten up overhead. satoru kicks a plastic onigiri wrapper out of the way, splashing up a puddle as a frown dampens his face when the wrapping only clings to his shoes. he's fine with getting a little grumpy if it means seeing you smile again. and even better, you laugh again— so sweet, like the chiming of bells in the wind's melody.

"please don't do that again." your voice sounds so very small when he hears it again, and he looks down at you from beneath long white lashes, the corner of his lips quirked up. the shape of them is almost cat-like, you think. he doesn't even know what you're talking about— a vague idea, at best— but he won't do it. not if it means hearing you sound so pathetically... sad. he doesn't like it. it's far too bitter for his taste. let the black betta you both used to know indulge in dark coffee and bitter cologne— satoru likes things sweet, like the cream surrounded by tea leaf matcha in the center of his mochi and fluttering feeling he gets when you run your hands through his hair, fluffing it up to your heart's content.

(as long as your heart is happy, his is, too.)

"i won't. happy now?" he sticks his tongue out, making a face. but you both know he means it— he hates breaking his promises to you. you smile when you look up at him again with a small nod, and he feels his knees wobble a little. he just hopes you don't notice. "sorry for lying. i just.. don't like it when you're mad at me. and you look at me like that," he mumbles under his breath, bunching up the fabric of his pants between his fingers. then, after a moment, "geez, you're so dramatic. quit carin' so much." he really hopes you don't stop, and it makes him feel like the world's biggest hypocrite. the strongest, but so weak for you.

"sorry, can't. the day you stop crushing your soda cans and littering is the day i'll stop caring, 'cus that won't be my satoru anymore." you tease. and he laughs, throwing his head back so you don't see the red that spreads across his cheeks, dusting his skin like powdered sugar on top of a strawberry crepe. he always wants to be your satoru, so he figures he'll keep littering. a few money fines here and there mean nothing to his undentable wallet, or the erratic beating of his heart, trapped against his ribcage in a feathery blooming of flowers he only gets from you and your pretty smile underneath the layer of lemony sourness.

you walk along the road for a little while longer. the rain has lightened, but it's still going— incessant, dripping from the leaves of trees and the knotted black wires overhead. he still has his infinity up, which means he can't pet the cat the two of you spot on your way back, but he's perfectly content to watch you do it. you scratch its chin, smiling at the way it purrs and nuzzles into your hand, and he wonders if he'd do the same if he was in its position.

he's lost in thought when you speak to him again, shoes splashing against murky puddles in the backdrop of a never-sleeping city; tokyo's bright skyline always makes your eyes go round with wonder. you say something, and he chuckles, warm and velvety. and then you realize what's been off with him this whole time— he doesn't have his shades on.

you slip them off the collar of your shirt, smoothing down the fabric before you reach over and attempt to nudge his arm. you don't think it'll work, because he still has his infinity up— and your sleeves are already getting spattered by rain that leaves darkened wet spots on the cotton. but to your amazement, your fingers make contact with his sleeve, and you watch in wonder as the rain actually falls— soaks into that little patch of wet fabric that you're able to feel on his arm. that he's turned his infinity off in that one spot so you could touch him. you spare a glance up at him, only to find his head angled away from you. you might be hallucinating, but the tips of his ears seem red.

you don't linger on it before you're tugging on his shirt with a frown, getting him to look down at you as you unfold his glasses and offer them over to him. he takes them quickly, and you don't miss the way the rain stops falling onto his arm again, back to bouncing off the invisible shield that protects him from everything (but you, it seems). he slips his dark shades back over his eyes, obscuring oceans of pure blue that seem like they've trickled in from the purest snowcaps on the distant mountains dotted with old red tori gates and shrines with scrapped paint. but you can't stifle the smile that spreads across your lips this time— giddy and fresh and filled with youth, blossoming like sakura petals in a spring that seems so far away yet so close with his presence by your side.

you don't say anything for a while. you're content to watch the rain wash down the pavement and into the gutters, past cute little coffee shops and parks with ponds as the droplets from the sky scatter the water in part of a never-ending cycle; watering the surface of the earth and bringing life that would soon spring up as shroomcaps and fresh dew on the clean cut green grass. you wonder what satoru sees through his lenses— though, you already know. you've worn them plenty of times before, when he insists on having your perfume cling to the frame for long missions he's sent on alone, when he can't have you hold his jacket, or his hand, or scold him for sneaking a smoke when you're not watching. that, and the extra lemondrops he keeps in his pocket; gifts from you that he's fought hard for.

you're more prepared to not feel any interference of his infinity this time when you reach over, and this time you don't go for his sleeve—yanking him close to you by his hand and forcing him beneath your umbrella. you feel the way he freezes up for a moment, but his fingers fill in the gaps between your own like its the most natural thing in the world, palms pressed together in a little breathless hug that leaves no room for the humid air.

"don't waste your infinity on the rain, dumbass. you'll fry what little is left of your brain." you scold him, and he just grumbles and scoffs angrily under his breath, cursing you as he hunches over and ducks his head to fit under the umbrella to negate his height. his hair brushes against the plastic roof of the umbrella, and his lanky limbs are still awkwardly sticking out, but his fingers tighten around yours and his thumb rubs over your knuckles, still a little damp from your earlier encounter with the rain, and you can't help but smile a smile bright enough to wash away every last bit of cloud in the sky. his personal sunshine.

even though he still prefers sweet things, satoru's come to like the taste of lemondrops. sweet and sour go well together, after all. just like you and him.

its okay if it doesnt taste like anything to u as long as u enjoyed it :) thanks for reading !! the black betta in question is suguru btw my (riaki) stuff. don't repost and/or plagiarize !

[thebibliosphere]

hey! i've been following you for a while, and i was curious about how you went about getting your EDS disagnosis?? several of my doctors and OT/PT team believe i have it, but i'm not sure where to start. i have an appointment with a rheumatologist, but i know that i'm probably gonna have to bounce around specialists a lot.

the reason they think i have EDS, or joint hypermobility syndome depending ig, is bc i have hyperextended knees and elbows, and my fingers are always doin something wonky (and its getting worse. my fingers didnt used to bow like this when i was in bigh school). then, i started fucking shit up in my sleep. hyperextended and strained a tendon in my finger, and recently subluxed my shoulder completely while i was sleeping and hasnt THAT been a fun experience 🙃 combined with my chronic fatigue that showed up two years ago, they think i'm a pretty solid candidate. ig i'm just trying to figure out what kinda long haul i'm in for. i'm both looking forward to it and not. yay for answers, boo for something else wrong!

So, I'd been told for years by several rheumatologists that there was no chance I had EDS. I wasn't "flexible" enough.

As it would turn out, this was because none of the rheums I saw knew how to do a joint mobility test properly and also didn't understand that some people with hEDS can go through "stiff" periods where our muscles stiffen up to keep our joints in place. This is a process called "splinting" and can cause chronic diffuse body-wide pain that means we lose our hyperflexibility (affects muscles) but not our hypermobility (affects joints).

It was actually when I was referred to see an MCAS knowledgable doctor for my idiopathic anaphylaxis, and she reached out to shake my hand in greeting that she looked down at my hand, saw how my finger joints moved in her grasp and informed me "This is now an Ehlers Danlos Syndrome exam" that I was finally correctly diagnosed.

I still have rheums challenging her diagnosis, but every PT/ortho I've seen since being diagnosed has agreed I'm ridiculously hypermobile. Especially in my hands, neck, shoulders, and hips.

Basically, you may have to fight to have the rheum offer a diagnosis, depending on how knowledgeable they are about the Beighton scoring system, but also how to measure for it if your muscles are splinting the area. You might have some luck getting your OT/PT team to try this with you and measuring how far your joints move and getting them to write it down in their referral.

Also, ask your OT/PT team about ring splints. It sounds like they might be useful for you! Good luck. I hope you get the help you need swiftly.

[strawberry-seal77]

9. whats something you always come back to when drawing?

12. describe your process while drawing! <3

21. what do you think your artstyle would taste like? (I think it tastes like a strawberry banana smoothie :3 tasty and refreshing)

22. do you have a favorite color palette to work with?

<33333

9 - cats!!! always cats. I started drawing with cats and I think I'll keep drawing them forever and ever sbdfhjdshf. Otherwise, I feel like I always end up having characters put a hand on their hip sbdhjfb

(though not as much recently it seems?)

21 - Oooooh.... I think my artstyle would taste like starbursts!!!! Maybe lemon, since thats my favorite. smoothies are AWESOME though so I'm HONORED . !!!

22 - Hmmm... Not off the top of my head, though whenever I'm applying overlay layers I usually end up making everything pinker BFHDBFH. My most recent shaded drawings have all been in nighttime/dark environments (which is cool to work with!) so maybe that? :O

I do love sketching in red though >:3cc

12 - Gonna talk about the MAP part bgs here 'cos I remember them most clearly. Talking is long so it is UNER the cut :3

First and foremost, new file !!

Then, especially in the case of MAP-related things, I gather alllll my references and stick em above the canvas. For these bgs, I also put in the characters that gamzee had drawn so I could check how everything flowed.

(they weren't colored at the time so I just blocked it in sbdhfbhdf)

then, SKETCH !!! I'm still not too good at picking a perspective, so I just winged it. Turned out okay!!! Though I'm going to actually try to learn this stuff sometime fbhsdbfh.

You can see it's pretty rough, because my sketches are just doing as little work as possible to help me figure out space & such. The next step is to block out the colors, and while I don't have any actually saved, I'll make a dramatic reenactment.

(usually the bg colors would probbably be in there? but I didnt think about that fbdhsfb)

Then I went through area-by-area, shading it as I thought would make sense. First with the rock, which if you look has a lot of blurring! This was after shading with just rough lines, and you can see I went in and added more lines after that for texture. The bush was fun (though I was mostly guessing, even with reference) Looks like a cake... ehehe

the grass you can see has horizontal patches of light & dark, and thats something I thinkkk I got from a northflowo video!! It does indeed make the grass look better.

the background was a little funky since, again, I did it at the very end. BUT! Look at that tasty water!!!

The leaves in the foreground (for as little camera sense as they made) were fun!! and like a mini version of the whole process. Sketch, block out colors, shade em, begone

I'd say a lot of my doing art is drawing whatever I want to draw, and then going "ok how do I make this look finished-", which is usually basic colors or something in the background. For example- I did the bg last here, so it's on another layer, and you can see how much more finished it looks!!

even though everyyyything else is just as shaded :33

Also, this was another reminder of how useful it'd be if I actually recorded speedpaints HSBDHBFHF

If I'm drawing characters, I start with either the head or most defining (/important to get) part of the pose, and I do my silly little boxes then build out from there. Recently ive been drawing legs like this in the first sketch which I think is kinda funny, but effective! FBDHFB

[violetwitch12087]

You and cooper hang out his mom crashes yall go to the hospital and cooper gets yelled at for drinking beer but its a misunderstanding and turns out you and cooper have gone through a lot

You're Lonely

Me and cooper decided to hang out today at my house and hes been at my house literally never so he was a little stoked a bit but it all turned okay

Me and him are on my bed with his arm wrapped around me drinking a couple beers talking a bit and making out occasionally i love his soft lips pressed up on mine making me smile it just fills my stomach with butterflies

After me and cooper talk a bit i lean in about to kiss his soft plump lips i love so much when his phone rings and i pause before sighing "sucks" cooper says before answering the call "shello" he says making me smile a bit but it quickly drops after i realize something is wrong

He hangs up the call after thanking his friend and turns to me "i gotta go" he says and i look confused "are you okay? What happened" i say grabbing his hand gently "my uh mom just got in a crash shes in the hospital" he says and my eyes go a bit wide "come on ill get my brother to drive us" i say quickly standing up throwing on a sweater since the outfit im wearing is kinda a surprise for cooper yk? Not too revealing but it sure did catch his breath

I run upstairs to my brothers room "hey me and cooper need you to drive us to the hospital something happened with his mom" i say and his eyes dart at me before he nods okay acting weird

We go downstairs and i grab cooper and we start walking outside before my brother pauses causing me and cooper to stop in our tracks "Look I'm really messed up right now I wasn't expecting a big emergency and it's kinda freaking me out" he says and i roll my eyes "okay he cant drive i wanna go to the hospital not TO the hospital" cooper says "fine ill drive give me the keys" i say grabbing the keys "you sure?" Cooper asks and i nod "yeah i have been taking care of him since i was like 12" i say "damn y/n whats the big deal" my brother says "im tired, so tired" i say getting into the car and cooper literally crawls on top of the car to get to the other side so i had to hold back my laugh a bit

Its late and im driving down the road when someone honks at me making me more nervous "you did say you know how to drive right?" Cooper asks "shh im concentrating okay?" i say "sorry" cooper says making me feel a little bad and i sigh "its okay" i say softly and he sighs leaning back into the seat "your moms gonna be okay" i say "ive had like a sixth sense thing ever since the happy pills" i say looking over at him a bit him smiling "im not lying" i laugh "no i believe you" he says smiling

"You know im actually glad we didnt get Mongolian tonight" cooper says referring to when i pulled out the weed and initially ditched it "yeah, yeah me too" i say nodding my head focusing on the road i turn my head to look at cooper whos already looking at me with his pretty brown eyes making my stomach turn before he looks away back at the road causing me to look back at the road

Me and cooper arrive at the hospital and i have a bad feeling about me leaving so i go with cooper inside and i stay outside of his moms room and just kind wander around as cooper goes and talks with his mom after a moment i think i was just tripping when i hear cooper and his dad arguing

"How many?" Coopers dad jackson asks cooper holding coopers arm tightly "what" cooper asks "how many did you have" jackson says "what what arw you talking about"cooper says "cooper i can smell the beer" jackson says making cooper realize "like 2 but they werent that good so-" cooper says but gets cut off "where?" Jackson asks and cooper sighs "y/ns house but her parents are okay with it and-" cooper says "her parents are okay with it?!" Jackson says his voice a little high

"Did you have any intention to show up to ur moms party today or were you gonna stay at y/ns at drink beer all day?" Jackson says "just chill out a little bit" cooper says in a feeling i can describe but ive felt before "chill out?! Do you have any idea what ur mothers been through today?" Jackson says and cooper sighs "whats going through your head coop" jackson asks cooper "do you have any idea what i didnt do?" Cooper asks looking up at his dad "thats it thats what you got?" Jackson says and cooper nods "yeah" he says softly and kinda snarky "you're gonna tell me everything you didnt do? Good you didnt smoke any crack or beat up any homeless people coop bravo im proud of you" jackson says clapping his hands loudly

"I knew you'd understand" cooper says in disbelief before hes about to start walking away down the hallway where i am "and there you go walking away when things get tough" jackson says pointing at cooper and cooper turns around "and there you are not coming after me" cooper says before he turns around and walks down the hallway and turns the corner to see me and i look at him sympathetically before i grab his hand softly and we walk out of the hospital and to the car

We get in and i start driving again back to my house i grab coopers hand softly again making sure i dont crash the car i know hes hurt he just does a hell of a job not showing it sometimes but if he was ever hurt and i saw him i would know cause thats how much i love him

Me and cooper walk into the kitchen and i grab some empty beer cans throwing them into the sink before leaning against the counter looking at cooper whos faced away from me "hey, you okay?" I ask softly and genuine "i just walked away from my mom whos in the hospital after losing her baby i dont know if okay is the right word to describe me" cooper says turning around to look at me when we hear banging and yelling upstairs i sigh "whats he doing?" Cooper asks referring to my brother looking really cute in the moment "hes totally messed up gonna make himself go to bed" i say "sure he had social opportunities on a friday night" cooper says

"Just coveted to think time" cooper says "please hes a mentally stunted bag of crap i can drag behind me" i say scoffing a bit before we hear a loud bang and silence "nighty night dumbass" i breathe out harshly after a moment cooper speaks "you're lonely" cooper states and i scoff softly "is that why im a slut?" I ask "i didnt said that" cooper says before he pauses "i should go" he says and i nod hopping off the counter "yeah you should ill take you" i say "i wanna go with you" i add softly looking away from cooper "because you're lonely?" Cooper asks

I nod softly kinda "what if i am" i ask and he thinks for a moment before walking over to me and he wraps his arms around me making me do the same my hand rubbing his back slightly "woah" i say "woah" cooper copies "this doesnt suck" i say "nah" he says softly and i sink more into the hug putting my face in the crook of his neck giving his neck a quick kiss softly his warm body making me feel like i actually matter for once

After a while we finally pull away and i smile softly at him before i grab his hand and we walk over to the couch i sit down making him sit down next to me and i cuddle up to him a bit after a while we hear a knock on my front door i open it and see coopers dad "is my son cooper here?" He asks and i nod before cooper comes into frame

"I am so sorry" jackson says as he pulls cooper into a hug "i need you at home with me okay coop?" Jackson says "yeah, yeah man" cooper says pulling away from the hug and turning to me "are uh, are you gonna be okay?" Cooper asks and i nod softly but i know i wont be "yeah" i say lying but cooper stays looking at me almost pleading or unsure what to do "would you like to come home with us?" Jackson asks "yeah" i say softly nodding at jackson "I'd like that" i say

"Nice" cooper says to his dad "really?" Jackson says "yeah" cooper says softly before his dad walks out the door as coopers about to walk out to follow his dad i grab him gently "hey, you have no idea how lucky you are cooper" i say looking up at him "dont forget that" i say and he looks up from me and we walk outside to the car and coopers dad drives us to his house

We get to coopers house and make sundaes just having fun for the reat of the night i love cooper so much more than i will know...

********************

This episode was pretty sad tbh but anyways im bored kinda high and idk i need money and im bored sooo yeahhh anyways i love you *mwah mwah mwah* bye my love

[onlyjaeyun]

baby first off, the fuck you mean you stayed up till 5? ily and your writing but don't spoil your health like that darling :(( anw the whole chap was bomb?!

jayke back to black baby! fuma is so nice i love his characterization here 💕 and yayyy hoonie's here !!! her expressive eyes huh bud? he pays that much attention? man's is love already? (jk jk ik they still have a long way to go🤭) and ahh he's so honest wtf?? him wrapping his hand around her throat? calling her baby??? silly little ice queen???? oh kill me😵 her calling him pretty face 🤨 babe isn't that what you called fuma???? hmm??🤨 stop she's so cute, "cocky bastard" one min and "please, i need more" the next like i see ya my girl🤭😆🫣 ahhhh they kiss tooo??? dom!reader isn't my fave bc i can't relate to that character but it still was really good to read like the aftercare too? hoonie decided to man up finally i see🤨🤭

also the way you keep insisting that they were "only lil' kids when the big thing happened" makes me super scared like, what're you gonna do???😰 i hope it won't make me cry lol (im a big phat liar i actually hope it makes me cry cuz i love that shit)

ensies? that so cute 😄 i like to call them the hypens bc it is cute and cool at the same time, just like they are 💕

am gonna reply to asks i haven't had the time to get back to so these will be about previous chapters too!!! again, so sorry for my lack of interaction babies, i've been super busy but i love love love reading your guys' messages so much and am always so grateful for every word you send me 🥺🥺🥺💕🩷🫧

thank you so much for this baby, i still can't believe i really uploaded that chap at 5 am because what the fuck 😭 ngl i did struggle a little to recover from that BUT don't worry!!!!! im so used to messy sleeping schedules atp i dont mind at all!!

yk i had to get jayke back to black along with seung because i will be introduced black hair!CH!hoon very soon and it was needed, so happy you guys liked it as much as me 😚

omg i never realised i had y/n refer to fuma as pretty face too so dont blame my girl blame me 😭😭

STOP IM GONNA CRY VEKDNELF I LOVED THEIR DIALOGUES SO MUCH AND KNOWING YOU GUYS LIKED IT TOO MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!!!

hoon giving the bwre minimun of aftercare shouldn't be this celebrated and praised but its a huge step for him so we take what we get amen 🤕

honestly the reason why i always mention their age is because the reason behind their fall out was a HUGE misunderstanding plus a bit of a game from a third party and thats why i need you guys to know why they never takked about it: they were just babies and just didnt know how to communicate and as they grew okder that lack of communication turned into full blown hatred 😭 i do think i will cry but honestly idk if it'll be enough to get to you guys 🫠

ensies, ipeunies, hypens – i LOVE THEM ALL THEY REALLY AR EMY BABIES :(

[abyssal-cryptid]

Even more Tears of the Kingdom thoughts (SPOILERS)

I cant figure out how long after Calamity this game is set. It's got to be at least some years, everyone else has changed but Link and Zelda

Link and Zelda have lived this time together in Link's house in Hateno <<33

Their Well holds Zelda's secret room

Also yes every well in this game has something so my favorite thing rn is just jumping into wells

Zelda had a school built to Hateno because she loves kids

I hate how so many people in this game who should know who Link is dont know him

You mean to tell Ive been living in Hateno for years and no one recognises me

Zelda is still referred to as princess which implies she hasnt allowed herself to be crowned queen

Ive spent like three hours just strolling in Hateno

I did get the camera and my enjoyment of the game has increased tenfold

HATENO TECH LAB HAS A RUINED GUARDIAN I REPEAT HATENO HAS A GUARDIAN REMAIN

Im so excited I missed seeing these everywhere

Purah's room has drawings of them and the divine beasts

You can just pick up the koroks who need to be reunited w their friends with ultrahand and carry them wherever they want to go. They also roll down hills

Me @ the forbidden ruins in Kakariko: "Let me in, let me innnn"

SIDON HAS A FIANCE

IM SO DISTRAUGHT

THEY SAW US SHIP LINK AND SIDON AND WENT "none of that here is his gf"

HUDSON HAS A DAUGHTER <<33

This game has cheese. I can die happy now

I am taking the elevator up every time I see a falling rock

Went to Akkala Citadel Ruins. Was looking at the views. SUDDENLY EVERYTHING GOES RED AND HANDS ARE CHASING ME WHAT THE FUCK

The way they dont let my boy have his long hair out on any fits is criminal. Could have tweaked the armor sets that much

Why is Zelda appearing everywhere and being an evil menace??? Zelda tf is going on w you?? Arent you supposed to be in the past

They looked at me, specifically, loving side quests more than my life and going "we have to give them more" and this is a good day

There's a golden horse???

Also I heard Yunobo is a dick in this??? Not my boy :(

I go to the Zora tower and there is a man nearly dead

ALSO OH MY GOD WHY DID ZELDA ATTACK KING DOREPHAN

Man was dying (Lets hope this doesnt age poorly because I dont think I could handle it)

So its been like five years at least since BOTW ended and like. Why does no one remember me and also where did all these new people come from that didnt exist here couple years ago?? Where were yall?? Having tea??

Kilton has a little brother <3

I should get back to the "first" main questline as in the Rito are dying in a blizzard but there's pretty flowers and mayoral elections

Did I already mention they did not nerf bows? They didnt and I love that, archers for life

Also I lost Hestu again and I need more inventory

I am afraid to venture into the Korok Forest

Stables are so fun. You get points from first visit, staying the night, registering horses etc AND THEY GIVE YOU REWARDS

I got the Traveler's Gear for General (my baby boy horse)

I found Big Horse and named him Babylon

Also saved this one guy stuck in a cave

Starting to get to a point where enemies drop 15-30 fuse power parts and life is getting easier

Ive activated like 20 shrines since I last did a bunch. I havent done them because what if I have to build vehicles (bad)

I miss cryonis

Havent done much in the sky tbh

I want my champions tunic. I however dont feel like going to the castle

Where the fuck is Ganondorf

I could always see him in BOTW I dont like this

I am kind of disappointed they didnt change the looks of old armor sets. HOWEVER. Cece's hat is all Im going to say. I wonder if I can wear that to Gerudo town

Im still a one shot to so many things

The Zora are dying (their water is turning into mud)

Gorons have malice pink eyes so dont trust theyre doing too well either

Barbarian armor fits so well with Link's messy long hair

Im still kind of shocked that the sheikah tech is just gone

How do I get into Hateno tech lab

Some of yall are actually building vehicles? Im avoiding that like the plague

Still salty about Sidon

I get taken for a little while and he gets engaged

His fiance did refer to Sidon as "my best friend"

The quote went "Im Prince Sidon's... oh forgive me. I am your best friend's fiancee"

She us cute but still

ALSO THEY MOVED MIPHA'S STATUE TO THE TOP OF PLOYMUS MOUNTAIN

THE ZORA'S DOMAIN STATUE IS NOW OF LINK AND SIDON

Why cant I marry him

Sidon carries Mipha's trident now (sobs)

When you meet him he goes "Its good to see you my friend" so happily

"By the way... I hope you know that I am truly happy to see you again after such a long time apart, my dearest friend"

I sobbed

He loves us so much

Just go visit him

Sidon wont marry me and Sonia and Rauru are married, cant a man find some love in Hyrule

[malleablemusic]

following along with the themes of last week, i have recently attended several diy shows in various basements of new jersey, and cannot escape seeing the band pavement absolutely everywhere. after eventually becoming fed up I decided to ask my boyfriend about the band- turns out they are actually one of his favorites! and in the spirit of giving/love/empathy that comes with the holidays, i've decided to give pavement a chance- for my boyfriend(: so anyways, here's my boyfriend’s favorite pavement album, crooked rain, crooked rain.

silence kid: 4.1 stars

how did they make the guitar in the beginning sound like its asking a question that is so cool

a common motif ive found amongst these (mostly) alternative/indie bands is they looooove to not begin singing in a song until at least a minute in

very epic of them to be honest to end the song with “screwin’ myself with my hand” they are very self-aware

elevator music: 4.2/5 stars

“and i wouldnt want to shake their hands / ‘cause theyre in such a high-protein land” this is exactly how i felt when i visited LA and it felt like everyone around me was fueled by protein powder and evilness

“so many fortresses and ways to attack” this is also how i felt in LA 

not sure why this is called elevator music

the use of “ta!” really gets me i laughed both times- it is such an effective way to dismiss someone

stop breathing: 4.3/5 stars

before listening to this album i asked my boyfriend to hold off on giving me his opinions, but he couldn’t help but blurt that this song is his favorite, so i’ll try to remain unbiased

this might be the first song so far where he goes right into singing i almost jumped at his voice because i didnt expect it so soon lmao

“write it on a postcard / dad, they broke me, dad, they broke me” me my first semester of undergrad

“than when you put it down 10 feet down in the ground” i really love the repetition of down, emphasizes how distraught he is

cut your hair: 4.6/5 stars

“darlin’ dont you go and cut your hair / do you think its gonna make him change” -i oh okay i did not expect to be called out by pavement of all people, this hit me directly in the chest

how does he understand the plight of a woman and how dare he drop such a crazy statement

I LOVE THE GUITAR WHY IS HE SOOOO GOOD WHAT

the guitar solo?????????? i was never interested in having my boyfriend teach me to play until this very moment, and only to play the riff after “did you see the drummer’s hair?”

newark wilder: 3.9/5 stars

oh my god, red alert- newark mentioned !! is this band from new jersey? it all is starting to make sense now

“the forces against you, the rain / i know everybody’s gonna put me down” the titular rain has finally been referred to!!

i like the whispering gravelly way he is singing

i do enjoy the experimental lyrics, especially the final verse: “cant you see the studd i need? / cant you see? / cant you see? / cant you stuff? cant you stuff me? stuff me / stuff me” that is very very interesting and cool

unfair: 4.8/5 stars

“lets burn the hills of beverly” oh i love the anarchy yes pavement be angry, not sad, this is when your passion truly shines through even more

“im not your neighbor, you bakersfield trash” followed by him scream yelling “trash” three times… this is art. absolutely profoundly beautiful. people looove to bring up the “love thy neighbor” from now on i will simply respond with “i am not your neighbor!! you __ trash!!”

gold soundz: 4.9/5 stars

there's something very satisfying about the way he rhymed “central” with “essential”

“i keep my address to yourself” i wish i knew what he meant by this

“it has a nice ring when you laugh / at the low life opinions” this is genuinely so sweet, i hope this kind of love finds us all

i would consider myself a pretty patient person, but i typically get very easily annoyed at people repeating themselves- when this guy does it though? His little “cret-cret-cret-cret…” after signing “because its secret”? its so so endearing

“youre the kind of girl i like / because youre empty, and im empty” im truly, truly, not exaggerating, this is the most romantic lyric i have heard thus far in this blog

5-4=unity: 5/5 stars

super intriguing title… it could have been any combination of numbers to equal one, why specifically 5 and 4?

this jazzy intro is so different than the rest.. oop as i was typing the beat dropped and changed this is astounding

the layers of instruments.. so complex..so many rhythms coming together

im going to drink a glass of wine to this song while i do my nighttime routine and dance around.. 

for some reason this has turned me into a housewife drunkenly dancing around in an apron with smudged red lipstick cooking dinner to jazz while i wait for my husband (that i hate) to come home

range life: 5/5 stars

i will admit i have heard this song before, and i’m actually very very infatuated with it

i want a range life SOOOOO BAD . SO BAD

i look out of my window on the 34th floor in NYC, see the beautiful skyline, and am incredibly grateful- and yet, i hear this song and weep about what Could Have Been

when i'm feeling my worst sometimes ill sing to myself, “dont worry!!!!! we’re in no hurry!!!!”

my favorite part of the song is at 3:20 when the drums come back in after he whispers “yeah..” 

the absolute pure attitude that he expresses in his pronunciation of “fuck” in the line “i dont understand what they mean / and i could really give a fuck” is phenomenal its absolutely dripping with disdain 

heaven is a truck: 3/5 stars

i really enjoy the inclusion of the piano they should have that in more songs it really works with their sound

not my favorite of their lyrics so far, a little boring, though i do find the line “but lady, you need some cold advice” to be quite funny

hit the plane down: 2.9/5 stars

i want to play this on guitar hero

when he sang his yeahs at 0:57 he sounded so much like tyler joseph for a second that i had to pause

something about this song isnt doing it for me, i like the guitar (i seem to always do) but the beat os off-putting in a way i cant get over

fillmore jive: 3.5/5 stars

i really love when his voice gets higher pitched and nasally, or when his voice sounds like its about to crack

‘i need to sleeeeeeeeeeep i need to sleep! i neeeeed to sleep. why wont you let me sleeeeep?’ he’s sleepy eepy let the poor boy rest 

leaving the audience hanging at the last line, “their throats are filled with…” is so genius

unsurprisingly by now, i was proven wrong and actually enjoyed an album more than i expected to. i shouldnt have judged so quickly- though i likely will not be listening to the song religiously or becoming pavements newest fan, i will certainly be giving my favorites many more listens in my lifetime. range life continues to be my comfort song. overall, i would give crooked rain, crooked rain 4.1/5 stars.

[sollucets]

watch & rewatch drama list 💜✨

i saw a couple mutuals do it….. i yearn to be included im so good at talking too much

actually airing shows -

💜💜💜 midnight museum - frankly i don’t actually care what it is specifically going on between dome and khatha at this point. i mean, i’m into whatever it is, but i dont care how it turns out i’m in too deep already. this show invaded my brain i really really like it so far. the aesthetic and music are gorgeous & khatha is my newest pathetic lil meowmeow. i also especially like the fucked up extra eyes animal boys & june’s pretty dress and general aura

💜 bed friend - i watch this for extremely shallow reasons and i’m unafraid to admit it. i like seeing everyone’s neat meta & the pretty gifs but i Cannot Take uea’s backstory, like at all, so i just preview slider through to places where netjames are especially pretty. and they are so pretty

other stuff -

💜💜 i am trying to watch atots, since the concept didnt originally interest me but mlc gave me Mix Enjoyer status. i started the first episode two days ago but got distracted im bad. ill get there i really am interested now

💜 i rewatched the entirety of my school president over the last few days explicitly for the sake of my mental health. i love them i love them im cradling them in my hands like a precious thing

💜 i always have the eclipse open in my tabs, partially for reference bc of working on on our way up and partially For Me, because if i dont look at aye at least once a day i wither like a neglected plant

on the ‘when i’ve got the brainpower’ list -

💜💜 utsukushii kare - [dreamily] they look soooooo fucked up

💜 gotta go through between us again so someday i’ll finish my 5+1 / before winteam week

looking forward to -

💜💜💜💜 you guys probably already know this but im so extremely unhinged about only friends. like i think half of the million trailer views are just me. i know nearly all the words to ‘i’m not boring youre just bored’. i want san to hit Me with the baseball bat. and again, reiterating that my most fervent desire after seeing that relationship chart p’jojo put out is for firstmark to kiss at least once so first can complete his 98 line collection. please i need it ill never ask for anything again (lying)

💜 im about as excited abt the eclipse our skyy episode as i hope it doesnt come out soon, because i want oowu to be finished first. the others im excited for too but especially that one you know who i am. those bts pictures made me emo i want them to be so happy

and now u know :)

[blazeismyname]

OH MY GOSH, LOVE THIS ALL!!!!

First note. I WAS THINKING BOUT THE SHEET MUSIC BUT I HAVE LIKE, 0 KNOWLEDGE OF THE 1700S. ORIGINALLY I WAS GOING TO SAY HE WAS GOING TO GO RENT SHEET MUSIC FROM A LOCAL LIBRARY BUT I DIDNT REALLY KNOWWWWWW

ALSO, JONNY HAVINF TO GET BACK INTO SEWING... AHAAHGA.. Like, Brian walks in on it too toward like the very beginning of his stay, and it's the first really, "He.. He isn't completely a monster" moment. And then later he accidentally walks in on Jonny wearing a dress-

OH MY FOG, YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING WITH TS, I ADORE IT. OHMYGOSH, AND TS BEING MARIUS'S HYPE MAN IF IT'S LEFOU DUDE. IT HAS TO START THE WHOLE SONG ABOUT MARIUS AND STUFF (and obviously, they're going to mention the violin, and Marius will inexplicably obtain a violin)

NO NO CAUSE IVY BEING CHIP. IVY IS THE DORMOUSE SO LIKE, WHAT IF INSTEAD OF THE CUP ITSELF, IVY IS TURNED INTO A DORMOUSE IN A TEACUP (she's been demoted from being in the teapot sadly)

AND THE PTSD AGAHAGGAGAAGGA. I wanted to say something about the scene with the wolves, but like. That's so much more than I could've said. I just imagine he's there in his flowy dress. The wind kinda blows weirdly in the trees, then he hears a howl (or.. rabid meow if we're going with octokittens) and stops dead. He's so scared, he can't move, the moments of his (what was supposed to be) death replaying as they come out and he starts getting attacked. Then Jonny rushes in, and Brian snaps out of it and watches Jonny viciously fight for him... then get injured. So Brian immediately pushes through it all and grabs him and drags him inside- JONNY STILL TRYNNA FIGHT FOR BRIAN AND TRYNNA MAKE BRIAN LET GO SO HE CAN MURDER ALL THE WOLVES... Also, Jonny trynna lick his wounds is everything to me.

HELP, WHAT IF AT THE BALL, ASHES IS INTERUPTED FROM SINGING THE SONG WITH A REALLY STUPID PARODY OF KISS THE GIRL BY TIM AND BERTIE PROCEEDS TO BULLY HIM FOR IT BEING THE WRONG AU BECAUSE I WANT A FOURTH WALL BREAK SO FUCKING SUE ME AND ALSO YOU CANT TELL ME THATS NOT SO FUNNY

And also, the whole thing being Carmilla's doing.... yes. Like. Dude. Tell me canon Carmilla hasn't probably done this.

ALSO, AURORA BEING THE CASTLE AND SENTIENT MAKES ME SO HAPPY DUDE!!!!

No. What if Camrilla and Nastya did it together. They teamed up with Nastya playing the witch and Carmilla playing the spell caster cause concerned mother and sister for the self-centered, shallow (at the time, cause the prince in the actual narrative was pretty shallow when you think about it), anger issues Jonny. And since their... Nastya and Carmilla, there was obviously no other way to handle this to them but to pull this.

Also, I need to go back to the rose. I think you mentioned Belle's father picking one for her (I'm too lazy to cross-reference rn, I've done that like 5 other times in this reblog alone) In the actual story, Belle and her dad have a very close bond so that translate to Brian and Carmilla having a close bond. Carmilla sees the rose, thinks it totally fits Brian and he would love it, gives it to him, and he ends up always wearing it as a good luck charm from his mom.

On a similar note, at least on the musical version there was a scarf Belle gives her father as good luck for the inventor's contest (that ends up in LeFou's hands which is why Belle finds out her father is in the woods). So like, what if Brian had some sort of special thing for Carmilla as her good luck for a investor's contest... I can't think of any but it's an idea!

OH AND BACK ON THE NOTE OF MARIUS TELLING TS REALLY SERIOUSLY- I imagine that's like, one of the few times he's super serious so it has like, an extra command weight to TS. Like "Gosh, he's serious serious! This order must be of top priority!" And when the town's folk are like "you want us to... kill the beast?" TS is very determined, firmly repeating Marius's order

OK, SO LIKE, WEVE ALL SEEN THE GIF AND PHOTOS OF RAPH MESSING WITH BRIAN'S HAIR- WHAT IF RAPH, AS THE KNIFE, RANDOMLY JUST TWIRLS HIS HAIR AND THERES SOME GENUINE BRIAN SHOCK AND FEAR AS HE BATS HER AWAY

That's all for now because I spent like 40-50 minutes (I wanna say) typing this, mostly in silence, on stream, and I promised I'd info dump to them

Beauty and the Beast, but it's the Mechanisms.

Jonny must be the beast because feral Jonny and the whole heart thing... prove me wrong.

Tim or Brian is Belle.

Rest of the Mechs are the servants in the Beast's house. With an exception for Marius as Gaston cause I can totally fucking see it. He would suck at it though because it's Marius. And also, short Marius HC.

This is probably not new. But it's been brewing in my head for a good few months, ever since I put my Mechs OC in the iconic Belle dress.

[hellspawnmotel]

I love your art!! I really admire your work and I love your deltarune fanart, especially how you draw noelle :) whenever I look at your art I always feel like you have such a firm grasp on anatomy and all your drawings feel like they really exist in 3d space, and i love how the characters in your drawings are shaped :0 do you have any tips for a learning artist?

well gosh, after you buttering me up like that, how can i refuse? (jk but in all serious, thank you so much this is SO sweet) anyway, let's see, tips..... (this ended up turning into a whole tutorial lmao)

so one thing you'll hear a lot of artists say is to start with a warm up first, but not a lot about what "warming up" actually means. some people take that to mean they have to start with a whole other drawing, personally i find that takes away too much energy and i end up spending way more time on it than i want to. i like doodling little cubes and cylinders, but if i have something to color sometimes i just do that to warm up. whatever works for you best, just anything to get your hand used to the motion of drawing.

for starting the actual drawing it really is important to begin with a line of action. think of it as a basic guideline for how you want to pose a character. it will help the pose flow better, trust me. (im going to draw noelle bc obviously im pretty used to that)

some artists start with just the line, i like to do the guide for the head first and then the line, whatever

you dont absolutely have to follow the line for your pose btw its just good to have an idea of what youre doing before you do it

after that is when you start worrying about shapes, usually. an important thing to remember when drawing is that absolutely everything is made of shapes, first and foremost. humans, animals, objects, drawing anything starts with shapes. circles squares and triangles. this goes for drawing from life too! it's why you want to start with a light pencil or a sketch layer cuz this is the stuff youre gonna erase later, but it's essentially the skeleton of your drawing

btw, i give noelle a very basic "average thin teenage girl" figure but it's good to practice other body types too and learn what shapes work best for drawing those

you mightve heard the advice to "draw the person nude first and then draw the clothes on top of them" and that's only partially true- it's good to know what the shape of the body is before you dive in with the clothes but you dont have to do like, a whole nude model first. you just need enough to understand how the fabric is going to fall on the body

also, and this is sort of off-topic, but when it comes to clothes its good to understand how different fabric works and how it's going to react to a body underneath it. some fabric clings, some is very loose, some is thin and some is thick. basically what im saying is that you dont have to shrink-wrap the clothing to the body, especially when it comes to a character with breasts or anything else that sticks out. thats a mistake a lot of beginner artists make. in this case, noelle's robe is very loose but i still want it to conform to her body a little bit so the pose isn't totally lost

aaaaand there ya go! after all that is when im ready to actually draw the dang thing. you can tell if you look close that i didnt totally follow the guidelines i made for myself, and that's okay. for example i tend to almost always draw the head too small and then have to enlarge it afterwards. one of the perks of being a digital artist is i can make mistakes and not have to re-do the whole drawing to fix them.

one other thing as to how to get better at actually drawing the body right in the first place- FIGURE DRAWING! as cliche as it might sound it really helps. it's best to draw from life, but if you can't get into a class for it there are plenty of websites out there with good photography of nude models. i also reference a lot of my poses from those websites, or sometimes from videos of figure skating or ballet if i think the situation calls for it.

this is a good website for figure drawing practice- it lets you set a timer so you can practice getting a pose down quickly or spend a lot of time on one model, your choice

also, yknow, always make sure you're having fun and dont stress out too much about whether what youre drawing looks good. the more you draw, the better, and don't think you have to post everything to social media if you dont want to. draw for yourself first and foremost and observe from life and artists you admire what you WANT to draw and want to get better at, and what looks like fun. that's the most important part

[asmo-baby5]

Burned

Request: @seerachii-art

Description: Mc had gotten very used to the Devildom and would wander around by themself now. They had pacts with the seven highest ranking demons right after the Prince himself and they were close friends with the angels, the powerful sorcerer, and Barbatos and Diavolo themselves. They never accounted for a lower ranking demon wanting to attack them for these relationships.

CW: mentions of burns, slight gore (not a lot)

Lucifer-

•he had gone out looking for Mc after they never showed up for dinner.

•he was very pissed that they went out alone, but he assumed if they really needed help they would call or use their pact to summon him.

•he walked through the Devildom with a very calm demeanor.

•of course, that was right up until he actually saw them.

•Mc was sitting outside of RAD with Barbatos hovering over them like a worried mother.

•"Mc, it is past time for dinner. What are you doing still at..."

•his voice faded out as Mc looked up at him.

•they were holding a damp towel over half their face and tears were flowing freely out of their open eye.

•his normal calm demeanor gave way to an eerie calm.

•"what happened?"

•his voice was low and made Mc flinch away from him.

•they looked so pathetic...

•Barbatos tried to explain what happened but he looked straight at Mc, waiting for their recount of events.

•"he was saying, saying bad things about you." They somehow got out through all the crying.

•lucifer was starting to fill in the blanks himself, but he still needed to assess the damage in order to decide what punishment would befit a lower demon who dared to harm this human.

•Barbatos helped Mc to gently pull the towel away from their face and show Lucifer the large burn covering over their eye.

•the cold towel had stopped the skin from pulling away from their face more than it already had.

•needless to say that calm demeanor quickly turned into burning hot (no pun intended) anger.

•with the help of Barbatos, who had just so happened to be leaving RAD at the time Mc was attacked, Lucifer was able to get them home.

•he offered, more than once, to fly back but they refused so he settled on just carrying them back.

•every fiber of his being wanted to go after the demon that harmed Mc, but he knew he had to get them home and settled before he could even think about leaving their side again.

•Mc refused any magical treatment, so Lucifer took them back to the human world for medical treatment.

•they ended up with a scar over the eye they had unfortunately lost sight in.

•everytime Lucifer saw that scar he'd get very irritated and would be stuck to Mc's side up until he physically could not have them with him for work.

•would pass them onto Simeon so he could keep an eye on them because he didn't trust any of his brothers to keep them completely out of harms way.

•the demon who hurt them was currently (and for the next few centuries) being used as a chew toy for Cerberus.

Mammon-

•rarely let's Mc out of his sight,

•so when they somehow manage to give him the slip one day he starts to freak out, rightfully so.

•not only that but his pact mark was starting to heat up, that only happened when Mc was in trouble.

•he retraces their steps from that day hoping to find Mc at one of the places they had visited.

•he smells them before he actually sees them.

•a mix of tears, sweat, and burnt flesh drew him towards a corner just outside of RAD.

•Mc was holding a sopping wet cloth up to their cheek and was wiping at the tears falling down their face with their free hand.

•every so often they would grimace as they moved the cloth around.

•Mammon was frozen in place looking at his human crying and shaking.

•he could practically feel their pain and their fear.

•he snapped out of it when he caught a glimpse of what was under the cloth.

•"Mc, who the hell burned ya?"

•he tried to keep calm, but let's be honest, being calm when the one person he loved above others was hurt was not exactly easy.

•"who. Burned. You?" His tone dropped to a threatening low growl.

•when Mc flinched at his tone he did calm down a bit though.

•he had to take care of them first before looking for revenge.

•when Mc explained that they were cornered by two lower demons and then lightly burned before they ran away, Mammon had to literally fight to keep from growling.

•it was bad enough for Mc to be attacked, but to be cornered by two demons was the most cowardly thing he had ever heard.

•when he checked the burn his heart clenched.

•there was a good chunk of flesh missing from their cheek.

•he flew them home and tried to convince them to get it magically treated so it wouldn't take as long and there'd be no scar, but Mc refused.

•he didnt leave their side after that incident.

•if you thought Mammon was possessive before, just wait until you see him now.

•he sleeps in Mc's room

•walks with them to school

•constantly texts them when in separate classes

•and goes with them wherever after school

•he doesn't trust anyone else with Mc's wellbeing.

•seeing the scar on their cheek ups his protectiveness and he will follow them around like a puppy.

Levi-

•he knew something was wrong when Mc never showed up for the new episode of an anime they were watching together.

•he was immediately anxious but tried to reason that maybe they were just caught up doing homework or maybe getting snacks and Beel cornered them for the food etc etc.

•yeah, his reasoning quickly turned into overthinking.

•he was about to go looking for them when suddenly he felt a pit in his stomach.

•he could just feel that something in the House of Lamentation was wrong.

•he opened his door only to be met with panicked shouts from floor to floor and the sound of running footsteps.

•like he thought, something was wrong.

•"Leviathan!"

•angry Lucifer shouts were coming from downstairs, so thats where he headed to see what was so wrong.

•he stopped in his tracks though as the view of Mc curled into a ball on Mammon's lap with a towel over their face entered his field of vision.

•he was supposed to be looking after them and the pit in his stomach only grew as he watched Mammon make very small and soft movements with Mc, something he never did ever.

•"Mc...?"

•Levi's voice was small as he got closer and could finally smell it,

•the burnt flesh on Mc's face being held together by the cold towel.

•he almost gagged, and would have if Lucifer didn't suddenly grab his shoulder pulling his senses away from the smell and sight. 

•"where were you!?"

•is all Lucifer had to ask for Levi to realize that Mc got hurt,

•they got hurt on his watch,

•he couldn't protect them.

•"I- I'm ok, okay." Mc had stuttered out, the pain made it hard to string words together

•it took a moment for Levi to compose himself, and even when he did outwardly he was an utter MESS inside.

•do-dont lie, Mc..." he slowly made his way over to them, but kept his distance from them.

•they got hurt because he wasn't competent enough,

•there was no way he could let himself ever indulge in their presence after this.

•he would of course take revenge against whoever dared to hurt Mc,

•but when they reached out and gently held onto Levi's hand, their's still trembling,

•he finally decided that being with them was the only place he wanted to be.

•as much as he wanted to absolutely decimate whoever hurt them, Mc needed him there more,

•and his Henry always came first.

•besides, he was fairly certain Lucifer was already making preparations to take care of the demon.

Satan-

•he was out with Mc looking for some new books from a bookstore that just opened.

•the two got separated for barely two minutes,

•but it was more than enough time for a group of demons to walk over and taunt them.

•Mc's already poor relationship with the other demons in the Devildom had recently got worse.

•its not like Satan didn't know this,

•he was hyper aware of the fact Mc was being targeted more often by lower demons for petty jabs.

•that's why losing them in a new store caused anxiety to creep into his body and sit like a rock in the pit of his stomach.

•Mc had expressed their fear of these demons (cowards, as Satan kindly referred to them) trying something more than jabs,

•so he felt very protective over them since then, wanting them to feel safe when they were with him.

•But safe was the exact opposite of what they were now.

•Satan quickly found Mc, but he also witnessed one demon slap them,

•hard.

•hard enough that they left a burnt handprint scarred onto Mc's cheek.

•Satan could barely process what had happened.

•before he knew it his vision had gone red and he could feel a low growl coming from deep in his gut.

•he was about to go after the demons who did this but Mc stopped him with a whimper that immediately brought him back.

•he wasn't really the most calm all the time,

•but in a crisis he was the best demon to go to because he could keep a surprisingly cool head.

•once his temper had cooled down enough for him to stop clenching both his jaw and his fists, he set to work caring for them.

•As he took the time to properly dress the wound the human way, Mc explained to him what happened.

•the group apparently confronted them about Satan's reputation.

•he was once known as the cruelest and scariest demon right after Lucifer,

•but apparently rumors had started to spread that he had become soft.

•many demons blamed Mc for this change because they had a pact with him and Satan was most definitely not known for having pacts with anyone.

•as he listened to this his anger started to spike again, but he pushed it back down enough to swiftly carry the Mc home.

•he didnt want to have to rely on Lucifer for anything, but only he could come and go between the human world and the Devildom,

•and Mc needed burn treatment in an environment that would promote healing for humans.

•once he knew Mc was being well taken care of though, he finally let his anger rise and bubble at the surface.

•he got a pretty good look at the demons who hurt Mc, and Satan NEVER forgot a face.

•once the Mc had come back, the scar left by the demon made Satan's rage come back anew every time.

•he even requested that Asmo try any and all facials and treatments that could get rid of scars.

•and as for the group of demons?

•well,

•let's just say,

•you should never make the Avatar of Wrath your enemy...

Asmo-

•he and Mc were on a date.

•clothes shopping, tea, sweets, spa, and hairdresser.

•everything was going great,

•Asmo was having the most perfect time being with Mc for so long without his brothers interfering.

•that is, up until their hair appointment.

•the two were separated for a bit because they each needed different treatments done to their hair.

•Asmo didn't think much of it.

•he had taken Mc to this particular hairdresser many times already, so he never thought anything bad could possibly happen to them.

•he was proven wrong when a scream came from the other side of the building,

•the area where Mc was.

•Asmo shot up out of his chair and practically teleported to where they were.

•what he saw made this normally pretty calm demon's blood boil.

•one of the workers was bowing and apologizing repeatedly as Mc looked at them dazedly.

•but what really got to him was the intern hiding behind a corner, laughing.

•"so this is funny, is it?"

•he had snuck up behind them and asked, his voice unusually low.

•"this particular human is under the complete protection of Lord Diavolo, would you like to explain to him why there is now a burn covering half their face?"

•the intern paled at that and shook their head.

•"I would not think so. Now explain to me how this happened."

•the intern explained that they dipped the cloth that goes on Mc's face in scalding hot water.

•they knew Mc was a human and they wanted to test their limits,

•but they adamantly maintained that they never intentionally harmed Mc.

•Asmo was furious, especially because this happened in a place where he was only a few feet away.

•but he did give up on grilling the intern, deciding he'd give their name over to Diavolo and Lucifer later, in favor of comforting Mc.

•they were coming out of their daze but that meant the pain was starting to set in.

•Asmo was able to carry them out of the shop and quickly home before they could scream again,

•or cry.

•he would definitely go on a rampage if Mc started crying and killing a demon in broad daylight was not a good look for his cute image.

•he informed Lucifer what happened and trusted he would then take it to Diavolo.

•Asmo carried Mc to his room and set them in his low hanging seat so he could tend to their burn.

•thankfully it wasnt bad enough to be cause for major concern,

•but it was bad enough that Asmo was worried about some scarring.

•he was able to clean the skin around the burn and then apply a few different treatments to lessen the scarring process.

•he promised to use all kinds of facials on Mc, once they were feeling up to it, so the scars would heal quickly.

•once Mc was taken care of, he couldn't even think of leaving their side,

•so he opted to lie down on his bed with them.

•Mc fell asleep rather quickly, the trauma making them exhausted.

•Asmo couldn't fall asleep for a while though as he spent time blaming himself for the injury.

•he would never, ever, forget this day...

Beel-

•he was out to eat with Mc as usual.

•there was an all you can eat buffet that had just opened up and Beel was all willing to pay for both of their meals if Mc went with him.

•of course they did.

•it is way too hard to say no to Beel.

•while he was on his fifth plate of food, Mc wandered of to the bathroom for a small break.

•they accidentally ran into a group of demons on the way there and got into a small altercation.

•they started badgering Mc and complaining about how the nicest demon brother was no longer able nor willing to hang out with them because he'd rather be with Mc.

•it was a small, petty, argument that unfortunately ended up in a small burn that ate through the first and second layer of skin on Mc's cheek.

•the demon that did it freaked out because they knew humans were weak by my god they're way too weak!

•the group ran away, out of the restaurant, leaving Mc staring wide eyed at the floor, the pain from their cheek slowly starting to register.

•they walked calmly back to the table to grab Beel.

•"B-Beel, Beel, we need to, to leave." They had stuttered out.

•the pain was making it hard to form sentences.

•"Mc, I can get a free meal if I finish this..."

•Beel's sentence had faded off as he finally looked up.

•Mc's eyes were glazed over from the pain and blood was dripping down from the pretty sizeable hole in their cheek.

•the big demon was up and out of the restaurant in no time, carrying Mc with him.

•he didnt really know what to do in the moment but he did know Mc needed help, fast.

•he went to Solomon first because his magic is the first thing Beel's panicked mind landed on.

•Solomon immediately went to work cleaning and bandaging the wound.

•because of his medicinal herbs, he had learned a fair amount of human medicine and knew how to care for a burn.

•Beel refused to leave their side, only doing so when Solomon convinced him to call Lucifer and inform him of what happened.

•After Solomon had taken care of the burn, he talked Beel into letting Mc stay at Purgatory Hall for a few days so that the rowdy demon brothers wouldn't interfere with their healing.

•Beel was over every day, almost every hour, to check up on them.

•once the burn had healed a fair amount, Solomon was able to use his magic to prevent any scarring.

•Beel 100% blamed himself for the injury, he felt he had once again failed to protect an important part of his family.

•it took a lot of convincing from Mc and Belphie for him to stop blaming himself so much.

•he was never focused on revenge against the demons that did this as his full focus was on Mc and their recovery,

•Lucky for him, Solomon and Lucifer weren't as focused on Mc..

Belphie-

•he never really left the house and he wasn't super overprotective of Mc like the other brothers were.

•he knew their strength but also knew that if they needed him they would call for him.

•so when the pact mark he had with Mc started to heat up and quickly started to burn, he knew that was them calling for him.

•they needed his help and he was more than willing to give it.

•he left the house in a hurry as the mark started to burn more and more.

•despite trusting Mc to pretty much take care of themself,

•he couldn't deny the worry and concern rapidly growing.

•the pact mark between a human and their demon is supposed to connect them and one is supposed to be able to find the other through this mark

•but Belphie was new to pacts with humans and he wasn't quite sure how to use it to find Mc.

•this did not help his concern as he realized they could literally be anywhere in the Devildom.

•he decided to just go to all their favorite places to see if he could find them.

•he eventually found them pacing right outside the planetarium.

•it was their place, the two of them, so he mentally slapped himself for not checking there sooner.

•"Mc, whats going on?"

•he walked over to them but they turned away from him.

•he froze as one of the worst smells ever finally reached his nose.

•it was awful.

•"Mc, what happened?" He tried to reach out and grab their shoulder but he stopped when he noticed them trembling.

•"Uh, um, its nothing, nothing bad."

•their voice was trembling just as much as their body and Belphie had finally reached his limit.

•he spun them around and was about to say something but he froze.

•Mc was crying while holding their jacket over one half of their face.

•Belphie grabbed the hand that was holding the jacket and gently pried it away from their face.

•Mc grimaced with every movement and Belphie swore under his breath, hating that he was hurting them.

•once the jacket was fully gone his sleepy eyes widened and any left over drowsiness from earlier was completely gone.

•there was a large burn over their eye and the skin around it was pulling away.

•he realized that's where the smell was coming from.

•"What happened?"

•he repeated his question from earlier but this time there was no way anyone could ignore his threateningly low voice.

•"N-nothing, seriously, Im taking care of it. And I, I called Solomon and he's on, on his way to help. I'm okay."

•Belphie felt his heart drop as Mc said this.

•either they didnt trust him enough to let him help or they didnt love him enough to tell him what happened.

•he really hated both of those options.

•"I'll stay here with you until he shows up then."

•he'd feel even more awful if he brought it up and made Mc feel guilty on top of their physical pain though.

•he sat with them silently for a few minutes until Solomon showed up.

•Solomon took them back to Purgatory Hall to clean and patch up the burn.

•Belphie went with and held their hand as Solomon had to get rough to fully clean it.

•he stayed with them the whole time, swearing to never leave their side again.

•once they finally fell asleep he took it on himself to go after whoever dared to touch, let alone harm his human.

•they would pay.

•he wasn't nearly as cruel, or strong, as some of his older brothers,

•but he sure knew how to hold a grudge.

•and that promise of never leaving their side could hold off a few more hours...

[songlyricsstories]

so high- bang chan <maybe you guys are just a little to high that you forget whats going in>

This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised.~

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

10 : 35

‘Breathe in, breathe out’ the air smelled like cotton candy and green apple as you and your best friend exhaled the sweet flavors.

“Your eyes are red” He giggled.

“Yours are too” You respond sassily as he rolled his eyes and inhaled more of it. Chan was laying next to you, staring st the ceiling. Your LED lights setting the mood with dark blue and purple, you looked at him, there was something about him that made you feel some type of way. You can write a whole essay on how much this guy might be turning you on right now. Him laying down smoking, his shirt lifting up a bit letting you see some of his muscular stomach, his hair messed up. He looks like a goddess, a prince, anything! He would be lying if he wasnt as turned on as you.

“So Chan..” you rolled over to your left side to face him. “When was the last time you went on a date” a smirk creeped on your face, he gave you a surprised look, but eventually gave in.

“Not to long ago actually, none of them were my type. I mean, they were all pretty girls, but dressed the same and were kind of boring. They probably just liked me for my looks” He took a hit of his vape.

“But i actually found someone, shes kind, a mix of fun and boring and cute too” You smiled and nodded. To be honest you didnt even pay attention on what he was saying, you were looking at his smooth pink lips, they looked so juicy that you wanted to bite them off. So you did. You leaned in and kissed him, you didnt know what you were doing, but you let your body take control. He got caught by surprise until he gave in and kissed you back, bringing you on top of him. You pulled back and smoked more of the vape, his hands finding home all over your body as you grind on him getting him hard. He pushed you off him.

“Ugh, we cant do this!!” He groaned, getting up from his spot, leaving you on your side confused, but upset he pushed you off.

“Why? Did I make you uncomfortable? Im so sorry!” You panicked and you blamed yourself for not paying attention on what was going on.

“I have a girlfriend and.. i cant do this to her!” He was blushing and avoiding eye contact, this gave you a better idea. You smirked and crawled to him, your cleavage showing off a bit. He avoided eye contact and backed up.

“Maybe she doesnt have to know, this can be a secret between us.. You clearly enjoyed it, i mean.. youre blushing and youre hard so why dont you let me help you? hm?” You bit your lip as you sat on your knees and slowly undressed yourself. He wanted to look away, he needed to, but he couldnt. All he thought about was how soft your body felt, your curves and your smell, how could he reject some heavenly shit. Hes not at church, but hes definitely gonna get blessed.

“Wait, lemme help” He hesitated and walked to you, gently unclipping your bra.

“Good boy” You smirked as your hair fell down your shoulders.

“Show me a reason why i should keep this a secret” He gulped and nodded. ‘this is going to be a fun night’

[cryptidmullet]

more renga headcanons bc i miss them

- rekis not one to like. hide his praise or anything he compliments langa a lot but just. every so often he'll grab langas wrist and look at him all soft and say "youre amazing langa" very reminiscent of how langa praises him and it just makes langa feel so fucking mushy and in love

- rekis used to affection from his family but thats kinda it and langas family was never super affectionate but he felt loved still but after his dad died he just felt super lonely but when they meet and start getting super close they both just feel like theyre overflowing with love both given and received and i just thinks that beautiful

- rekis chronically bad at opening bottles bc they hurt his hands and hes always embarrassed but he goes up to langa and is like. open please. and langa does KKFMSMFND

- it gets to the point he'll just go up to him with a bottle and langa will open it without being prompted

- yknow when youre really tired and you feel like youre floating in the ocean reki has that but he feels like hes rolling back and forth on his skateboard

- since he first started skating the movement and feeling got so ingrained in him that he'll be sitting at his desk or laying in bed and just feels the sensation of tick tacking like hes not moving he just can feel it like a ghost in his muscles and brain

- sometimes reki just wants to. stand on his board like not do anything just stand on it so he stores skateboards in his room and when he gets restless he'll just stand on one for a little bit

- reki talks to himself a lot he'll be doing some mindless task and then have a pretend conversation with nobody without even realizing it

- whenever reki cries or gets choked up about smth drinking water for some reason makes him feel better

- reki pokes the twins' bellies and blows raspberries on them to make them laugh :)

- langa cant pick up rice with chopsticks when he first moves to okinawa and reki makes fun of him but still teaches him how to do it

- langa has acne along his jawline its just bumpy and stuff

- reki wakes up and then lays in bed watching videos as long as he can before he gets up 

- he also holds his phone like two inches away from his face

- reki uses dark mode langa uses light mode until reki notices it forcibly changes it

- rekis phone is always at like really low brightness bc his eyes are sensitive

- its battery is also always low bc its an old phone and it takes forever to charge

- he takes a lot of pictures and videos of langa just for no reason half of them are blurry and out of focus and langas not paying attention but he keeps all of them

- he has a bookmark on instagram called 'langa' and its full of stuff that reminds reki of him or he wants to show him later

- langa and reki pair up for a presentation once and when theyre presenting they cannot stop laughing reki says um and pauses for a moment too long and langa does one of those long nose exhale laughs and it makes reki snort and then they keep messing up and barely get through it and when they walk back to their desks they shove each other while the class laughs

- langa has a really cheap purple phone case he got at walmart and rekis like dude thats so boring so he makes stickers for him to stick to it

- langa loves them but he also has this weird anxiety about putting stickers places bc he likes them and doesnt want to eventually get rid of whatever the sticker is on but reki tells him he'll make him more whenever he gets another phone so hes okay with it

- langa doesnt really fidget unless hes nervous and then he twists his fingers around but when hes sitting he rolls his right ankle a lot and his foots like always twitching really minutely 

- reki carries around a hairband partly for his sisters (and eventually langa) and partly so he can fidget with it

- langa carries one around too for the same reason but one day reki forgets it during work so langa gives it to him bc he looks restless 

- and langa kinda feels really bare and doesnt know what to do without it so he just rubs his wrist a lot but he doesnt mind 

- reki will get up to go do smth but just sit down curled in a ball on the floor bc he gets distracted for whatever reason and after like 20 minutes of scrolling through his phone hes like wait what was i doing

- reki has a scar on his lip/chin bc he bailed really hard and hit his chin on the concrete and bit through his lip 

- langas a dry ass texter when he and reki first meet bc he didnt really have anyone to text before

- but eventually he googles how to turn auto caps and everything changes

- hes actually funnier over text sometimes bc hes less restrained 

- hes made a ur mom joke and then was like wait i take it back i love your mom im sorry :c 

- and he points out every time reki misspells a word just to annoy him

- reki scrolling through tiktok and he randomly starts crying at a wholesome video and langas like.. you good man and rekis like look at this FRICKING tiktok dude and then langas crying too KFMSMFND

- obligatory "we make a good team" line idk the context ill think about it later but theyre gay they have to say it

- langa promised his mom hed go to the store but had to do a last minute shift at dope sketch and rekis like oh ill do it for you i already know what you get

- langa has a sweet tooth he loves candy and hot chocolate and all that stuff and reki is lowkey an enabler he always brings candy w him or has a bag in his room

- when reki laughs he wraps his arms around his stomach and hes the type to go silent when he laughs hard enough

- he'll go from standing normally to bent over to crouched down to falling and rolling on his back or side from laughing so hard

- its pretty rare but sometimes he snorts in the middle of a laugh too

- when langas laughing Really hard its loud and kind of wheezy and almost like a cackle and he covers his mouth most of the time just out of habit

- he curls up when he laughs too so he'll be laying on rekis bed or the floor and reki says smth that catches him totally off guard and he starts fucking cackling and brings his knees up to touch his forehead hitting his leg and wheezing

- langa helps reki teach chihiro and nanaka how to ride a bike and the four of them go on little bike rides together occasionally

- the twins pulling on langas pant leg until he bends down so they can whisper gibberish in his ear and the first time langa is like ??? but then he learns to just laugh and nod 

- all of rekis sisters coming into rekis room while langa is there to be like :D langa :D and reki herding them out and yelling we're busy and then just flopping on his bed to continue scrolling through his phone in silence

- reki does the older sibling thing and just stands in koyomis doorway 

- miya makes a meme reference that reki doesnt get and hes like god youre old and it wounds reki on a personal level

- reki has a piece of graphite just like permanently stuck in his leg bc when he was younger his friend accidently stabbed him with it and it broke off and just. stayed there

- reki gets super obsessed with one song for a week or two and he'll listen to it on loop like 10 times in a row and he learns the lyrics to them no matter the language and by proxy langa always has the stuck in his head

[wizkiddx]

I would for sure read a continuation of the birth photographer fic if you feel comfortable writing it/have time! Xx

a/n sorry I kinda combined these two together, I hope this is okay!! sorry ive taken so long too!! my requests are still open, just going a bit slowly :)

summary: literally just birth + harry

dad!tom x reader

warnings: childbirth, mentions of fainting, squint for suggestiveness too

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Your doing so good darling, just keep breathin’ like that for me, in-out-in-out”

That had pretty much been the soundtrack to your last 3 hours. And yes it was MORE annoying than it sounds. Of course, that’s also ignoring the insane amount of pain your uterus was putting you through - as it spasmed while the little bug in there was wriggling away. Giving birth was not easy but giving birth with a husband-turned-midwife wittering away in your ear? Un-fucking-bearable. 

“Tom…. I love you but..” Everything had really been starting to ramp up in the last half an hour, you were a panting sweaty mess now. “Please… SHUT THE FUCK UP” Tom would’ve recoiled completely away from the bed because of your tone, if it wasn’t for the absolute death grip you had his right hand in. Instead,  Tom settled for straightening straight up and staring helplessly and dejectedly across the room at his brother - who of course was trying to hold back laughter, knowing it would be very easy for you to switch your target to him. 

Clearly it wasn’t a social call to the hospital, Harry was here under the premise of taking photos when the baby arrives for Tom;  but really to stop his brother from having his own breakdown - as commissioned by you. Lets just say, however scared and mortified Harry was of this ‘event’ he was taking a lot of enjoyment from how his brother was acting currently. 

“It’s okay sir, if you were pushing a watermelon out of hole that normally was the size of a whiteboard marker, I’m sure you’d be a bit tetchy too.” That lady was your favourite midwife and in a lull between the sets of contractions, you actually managed a laugh. Wide-eyed, Tom just nodded jerkily, murmuring some sort of agreement. It was at this point a flash of light reverberated around the whole room, causing you to breathlessly laugh, Harry’s face informing you the picture he just got of Tom was priceless. 

The laughter didn’t last long though, the next contraction had you bearing down on the bed, face contorted in pain as you sucked desperately on the gas and air tube. 

“Okay Y/n I think we might be getting there, let me call the senior midwifes in okay?” The midwife had your legs hiked apart, a blanket attempting to cover your modesty - but at this point she was basically sticking her face in your noon. Modesty was out the window. 

“Already?” Tom was shocked to say the least, from all his reading and research he’d learnt that the average labour time was more like 5 hours. Lets just say, Tom never exceled in school, never much enjoyed reading - which made the hours of highlighting baby books and pregnancy leaflets all the more extraordinary. 

“Babies don’t stick to the script sir.” You could tell she was proud of the pun there, because you know, Tom’s a moviestar. “Professional improvisers, the lot of them.” 

The cream walls of the hospital room very quickly filled with more and more people - Harry staying like a fly on the wall, now nervously biting his nails as he watched an obscene amount of medical people all take their turn oggling his sister-in-law’s bits. This was a weird ass situation. 

Almost immediately it was at the point the midwifes were telling you to push, which after 9 months of holding a baby in (as well as your ill functioning bladder) sounded like an absolute dream. But it was also absolutely terrifying and exciting and horrifying all wrapped in one. Naturally then, after nodding hesitantly at the midwife between your legs, you’d craned your neck across to tom .You might’ve just told him off, for trying to encourage you, but now? You needed his encouragement. 

What met you though, was his face completely drained of colour, mouth hanging slightly open as he hadn’t moved - still staring intently at the midwife. She followed your gaze, only taking half a second to survey the situation before knowingly smiling. 

“Can we get a bit of help for dad please?” Immediately one of the more junior looking midwives was directing (pushing) Tom into the chair next to the floor. Suddenly actually concerned, you looked with wide eyes to the lady between your legs, who you felt bad for not remembering her name. With a comforting squeeze of your ankle she reassured you he’d be right as rain after a few moments of having his head between his knees. Also sensing you needed your support, she arched up, beckoning over to Harry who had an equally bemused look on his face. 

“No - I-um I’m not.” His squeaking protests were interrupted by a large scream on your part, as another contraction tore through your body. Helplessly Harry glanced between Tom, who was still hunched over on a chair with a nurse squatted infront of him; and you, writhing around on the mechanical bed. He didn’t hesitate then, in jumping right to your side, allowing you to start crushing all the bones in his hand too. 

And then it was all happening, a blur of activity and screams. It didnt take long for Tom to pull himself together and then you were flanked on both sides by Holland boys - both giving cheesy encouraging words (which you would’ve again told them to shut the fuck up for, if you’d been able to), Tom also stroking the top of your head. He found it pretty impossible, watching the woman that he loved go through such immense pain - especially when he was technically half the cause. Well… actually more that that, it had been him who had been… well shall we say *needy* those nine months ago. 

“Okay Y/n the heads crowning, I know you’re tired but we need a few more big pushes, can you do that for me?” 

Merely 5 minutes later and the most beautiful sound in the world echoed through the 4 creams walls. You were absolutely spent, eyes closed as you panted, knowing tears were flooding down your face too. Immediately though, familiar hands cupped both sides of your face, a forehead resting on yours. 

“You did it Y/n/n.” His eyes were glassy, watering and red and the way he scoffed a smile in disbelief had you mirroring him exactly.

“We did it.” Your voice was hoarse and scratchy from all the yells of pain but it didnt matter. The midwife calling you by the name ‘mum and dad’ got both of your attention, a title you’d no doubt start getting used to. 

“Meet your beautiful baby girl.” Another choked sob escaped your throat, as  this little roughly wrapped up pink alien looking thing was placed onto your chest. Both you and Tom just gazed at her, completely transfixed at the way she wriggled her head slightly, nuzzling into your chest. Tom gently hovered his palm against her little head, while you pressed down the blanket gently, just so you could see all her features. 

Then a flash echoed around the otherwise silent room, making you all look up to Harry who was gritting his teeth in apology. “Do mum and dad want to smile for the camera?” The question was posed so hesitantly and quietly, really it wasn’t funny either. That didn’t stop you and Tom both pulling out the biggest grins and chuckling away, allowing Harry to capture the perfect moment. Being referred to as mum and dad - it was bloody comical. 

“You gonna tell me her name now?”  You looked from Harry to Tom, nodding in approval for him to spill the beans. 

“Amber. She’s Amber.”

You’d squabbled for months before ending on Amber. It had been a long relentless process, Tom claiming that your baby might just have ended up as ‘as yet untitled’ which you and your hormonal state had stormed out at. It hadn’t taken much to forgive it though, Tom had long since worked out that Ben and Jerrys was the way to your heart. 

The nurses took Amber back to do some tests, properly cleaning both you and her up and after that everything was weirdly calm. Harry had left to give the twothree of you a moment alone and Tom was about to do his turn of skin to skin. 

“This really is it isn’t it?” He murmured, whilst carefully scooping Amber from your arms. 

“Mhmmm… your stuck with two girls who’ll go psycho on you without a moments notice.” He seemed to accept it though, just nodding in response. 

“And I still can’t bloody wait.” His eyes penetrating deep into you, had you blushing like a nervous teenage girl. “ ‘m still so proud of you, you grew this little human.”

“Your not allowed to call her little because you didnt have the ‘little’ thing rip your insides apart.”

“Hey! I’m upset about it too! Was like I had to watch my favourite pub being burnt down.” Of course, trust Tom to make a dirty joke at a time like this.

“Don’t kid yourself, you weren’t watching, too busy fainting.”

“I didn’t actually faint!” This time he protested a bit too loudly, causing Amber to mewl a little and bury her head into the crook of her Dads arm. “I think Ambers just told you to shut it too.”

“You annoy the hell out of…” Your grumbling was interrupted by an impressive, ear-splitting yawn. “ You annoy the hell out of me.”

“But you love me?” He sing-songed, now back to a hushed tone. 

“I hope so, otherwise we’re in a bit of trouble.” He scoffed, but nodded his head, taking the hand that wasn’t cradling Amber to tuck some sweaty, knotted strands of hair behind your ear. 

“I do owe Harry though, he was at least able to stay on his feet.”

“He was a better birthing partner than you too, much much less condescending and annoying.” You sniggered, making Tom pout once again, only wiping the look off his face when you yawned again, rubbing an your eye like a toddler would. 

“If your done insulting me… get some rest love, I got you.” All you did was nod, with a small groan (because below your waist still hurt like a bitch) rolled over so you could fall asleep to sight of the two of them. 

“Got you both, my two beautiful girls.”

hope you enjoyed, would love to hear any thoughts <3

taglist: @hollandfanficlove @hallecarey1

[angelicmichael]

What if Xavier had a kid he didn't know about and he meets them for the first time after he's already a ghost? Maybe there's a kindergarten group that takes a trip to the camp, and he just has this spirit intuition as soon as he sees them and KNOWS it's his child. Do you think you could expand on this idea? I'd love to see what you come up with!

A/N: This was so fun, thank you for this idea dear anon!! I'm sorry it's late but hopefully u like it 😶. Also, I apologize this is so dark and heavy- I didnt intend for it.. it just, kinda happened lmfao. I turned this into a 'x reader' and it starts with Xaviers POV and ends with readers perspective!! First few paragraphs are pretty dark and then the rest is weird.. angst fluff LOL.Hope yall enjoy 💖💖💖

Warnings: First few paragraphs discuss Xavier's thots about dying SO, it highkey gets dark yall I'm so sorry, mentions of anger?? issues, mentions of murder, stops getting dark roughly around paragraph 6 if u wanna skip all that, MAJOR ANGST, reuniting, very brief Xantana reference 😈, mention of kids, bit of fluff.. think that's it :)

In Xaviers eyes; the worst part of being killed in a desolate camp and having to reside there for the rest of eternity; wasnt the fact that he would have to handle Richard Rameriez and tolerate his peers for eons to come. Sure, both of those things required an adjustment period but.. the realization that his life with you was abruptly cut short, was what truly broke him.

It took him being stripped from everything he once knew to truly appreciate how heavenly life once was before Camp Redwood. He had a steady job, good friends, and a relationship with a actual living, breathing person.. Not to shade Montana or anything, of course. However he had taken all of those things for fucking granted; moving to Camp Redwood definetly had made him become humble- at the very least. He was now nothing but a mere shell of the person he once was; nothing to bring him out of this absolute living nightmare he found himself in.. At first this mindset nearly consumed him, it drove him to kill multiple times.

There was no point in trying to conceal the anger he felt, no way of trying to channel it out into a more socially appropriate way and at this point.. there really was no point in trying to do so. Out here in the forest, espically after he was killed, life outside of the forest soon seemed as if it was some type of myth or fairytale- something not real or attainable. Time in the redwood forest felt different- days quickly bled and melted into weeks, and then months.. trying to guess the date was something Xavier gave up on doing after about the first week.

As much as he tried to deny it, being dead and becoming trapped here had completly made him lose his grip on reality and his previous life. Soon enough, the thought that life even fully existed outside of the camp and that there was actual fucking laws against killing (something which was now a leisurely hobby) had completly slipped his mind momentarily in the beginning as well. Out here in the forest, nothing felt real execpt for his anger that he held onto so tightly.

It was really the only thing he had left; atleast for a while.

The pain of losing his partner, (y/n), still remained but letting that grief not consume him was easily the hardest battle he had fought in his life. Xavier realized he still had his friends - and if he really was going to live for eternity, he sure wasnt going to spend it angry.

After so many years of being 'cursed' to spend forever in this forest, keeping track of the time was something Xavier rarely bothered with, but - it was obvious by the suns posistion, and even the slight mist that made the grass wet that it was just starting to cut into morning. Xavier walked through the forest alone, nowhere in particular to go or to necessarily do, only a sudden need to go and be alone. Almost a beckoning, for him to go and be somewhere else. To witness something.

His days were more often than not purely mundane; he had absolutely no excuse to not listen to this odd and sudden attraction he felt toward a very particular spot in the camp.. so, that's what brought him to where he stood now. Close to the road that brought visitors (a nice word for victims) into Camp Redwood, right next to the mess hall which was rarely used close by.

Xavier felt wildly uncomfortable standing so close to the place which previously held so much trauma - and honestly still did.. The place where Chef Bertie died. Xavier paused, about to just say 'fuck it' and just give up and go back to where his friends resided (or atleast Montana) when.. he heard it.

His sign, the thing that seemingly enticed him in the first place.

It first sounded like the old, familar sounds of tires coming across a gravel road - Xaviers mind immeadietly jumped to perhaps this could be new people.. new vistors.. new victims.

His blood ran cold when he heard something else; an eerie ringing of chains hitting against the ground. Something that was mostly a associated with buses.. and hauntingly familar. He had little to no time to think or even act on his suspicion when he noticed that a yellow school bus full, and nearly combusting with children was pulling into the camp.

Xavier wasnt exactly certain the bounds that ghosts had when it came to certain bodily functions like vomiting, but hes sure that under normal circumstances he would certainly be sick by now. Nevertheless he could feel his body tense up and the other natural symptoms associated with anxiety also kicked in. Urging him to clumsily get out of vision; he stumbled behind a few trees that poorly blocked him from sight. He continued to watch in complete and utter horror as the bus came to a stop, and it didnt take long for kids to start pouring out of the bus. Xavier felt his heart drop and his blood run cold every time a kid exited the bus and stepped on the dirt soil of Camp Redwood.

Xavier whipped his head around; scanning the surrounding area to make sure no other ghosts were here to bear witness to this.. Xavier was nearly always down to commit murder, it was really the only thing that kept him from fully going insane from pure fucking boredom but - kids? There was no fucking way he would let anyone touch them.

While he thoroughly scanned the area, he noticed a few adults leave the bus out of his periphery vision. He thought nothing of it, chaperones were to be expected on elementary field trips but.. the strange beckoning feeling he felt ealier visited him again, urging him to turn his head fully and look at one of the chaperones more closely. Instantaneously, he then automatically realized why he felt so compelled to come to this spot.. Why he was meant to be here at this exact moment.. It was you.

At first he thought he was merely hallucinating; you definetly looked significantly different from the last time he had saw you but.. he knew it was you, his partner that he had before his life completly went to shit (minus the catastrophe that occured with Blake, of course). He knew instantly, it was your eyes, your stature and just.. your overall warm and familiar aura that gave your identity away. He couldnt believe that the person he had so fucking desperately wanted to see more than anyone or anything was only a few feet away - and now, that you were finally here... All he wanted for you to do was to leave.

As soon as he saw you he felt a sudden tightness posses his chest and throat which accompanied the formation of tears burning his eyes; hastily blurring his vision. He had to physically restrain himself from sobbing outloud; trying his best to just swallow down his tears. His whole body felt as if it was on fire with anxiety, but he chose to continue to stand still behind a few dainty trees - trying to pull himself together so he could actually have the chance to think critically and choose what the ever living fuck he was going to do next.

While he waited for his blurry vision to clear, he chose to focus on the semi distant figure that he knew was you. He took in the little details; like how the sun highlighted the colors in your hair and your simple but charming outfit. It took him several moments to think of why you would even be here in the first place, with a school bus- and thats when another dreadful realization hit him.

Only parents were mainly chaperones when it came to elementary field trips.. meaning-

No other thought crossed Xaviers mind as his eyes flicked down inhumanely fast to the child where (y/n) stood next too.. and immeadietly he knew.

The features the child shared of both you and Xavier were partially a giveaway, but most importantly.. it was the feeling he had that confirmed his belief. The initial anxiety he felt of the kids arriving still remained but was significantly muted and mostly replaced with a overwhelming sense of pure love. The feeling spread to every fiber of his being, and so did a odd urge to protect this small being which he knew was his.

Not ever in his entire life had he felt this way about someone (execpt for perhaps, you). He felt himself taking a few steps forward, at first completly involuntary but he knew he had to talk to you. Just the idea of reuniting tasted so fucking good but, he knew he couldnt get too greedy if he was going to talk to you. He knew confronting you had to be solely done in order to save you and his child, he couldnt get carried away. He wouldnt.

He tried his best to appear casual as he submerged from behind the trees, his hands held behind his back - the only way he could get them to stop shaking. He tried to relax his shoulders and appear confident as he strided up to you; your back turned toward him. He continued until he was directly behind you, he wanted to tap your shoulder but - touching you seemed out of the question. That would confirm everything, it would make it seem actually real and not like this just some torturous dream.

"(Y/n)"? He spoke.

Xaviers breath hitched as he watched you whip around to face him. He studied your features as you went from looking utterly confused to surprised beyond belief.

"Xavier, what-"

"We need to talk".

Xavier quickly grabbed your hand, leading you away from herd of kids and the few sparse chaperones that were amongst them. A few of them gave you two a few odd looks but neither you or Xavier particularly cared, after all this was the first time in years you two had seen eachother. You hastily followed his lead, feeling slightly embarrassed that it was obvious how nervous and simply caught off guard you currently were. Your palms (one of which was still holding onto Xaviers hand) were starting to moisten with sweat. These feelings only amplified once Xavier turned around to face you. The intensity that was in his eyes put you on edge - never in your time of dating or knowing him did he ever look so serious with you.

"What are you doing here"? Xavier spoke, his voice was still in a higher pitch, slightly breaking.

"What"?

After years of not being able to see you, in fact; years of you not even knowing where he went - this was how he chose to greet you?? Automatically your blood ran cold with the sudden realization that something was wrong. Seriously wrong.. but the feeling didnt just apply to your ex boyfriend. It was the entire camp.

"Its not safe here, you need to take the kids and leave". Xaviers voice more visibly shook this time as he spoke; as if his words physically pained him.

Your heart skipped a beat, the sudden pain and anguish starting to fully settle in. You couldnt believe it; after years of not seeing you - this was all he had to say? Was he fucking joking?

"What? A-are you kidding? Xavier, I havent seen you in years- I didnt even know you would be here-"

"I'm sorry (y/n). I'm so sorry but you have no idea what this place is like. You just need to go, and the kids. And promise me you wont come back".

It was torturous to watch tears gather in Xaviers eyes, and watch as they streaked down his cheeks. The sadness you previously felt was now washed away with red, hot rage. The feeling spread throughout your body like a wildfire that he was seemingly rejecting you.. but you knew now this wasnt some pathetic excuse. Something was seriously wrong here; and now it was starting to become too obvious to ignore.

Xavier looked hauntingly the exact same from the last time you saw him. He forever, looked as if he was still stuck in the same moment of time - like in the summer of 1984, which was when you last saw him.

You didnt realize you were still holding onto one of his hands until you reflexively tried to move it to brush away his tears that were still staining his cheeks; but awkwardly.. you chose to do so with your other hand. Squeezing the one hand you were still holding onto a bit tighter.

He winced as you touched him, and as much you tried your damn best to hold it together - you could feel tears starting to burn your eyes as well.

"I cant promise I wont ever come back, Xavier. I need to see you again, and what about-" you said softly, about to reference the child you two shared together.

"No, you'll see me again (y/n). I promise.. okay"?

He brought your hand up to his mouth to kiss your knuckles; the tears you trying so desperately to hold in were now sliding down your cheeks. Your breathing was now horribly choppy. You were on the brink of full on sobbing but you held yourself back - it was nearly time for you to go.

The fact you would have to go back to go the others and make up some bullshit excuse to leave, put a bitter taste in your mouth.. but your sure Xavier had a valid reason for ushering you to leave. Even if he didnt want to tell you right now; you trusted him with your life.

"Okay.. Fine. I'm coming back though, and I'm sorry I couldnt find you sooner". You admitted.

You dropped his hand that you were still holding in order to wrap your arms around him. To get one final touch to remember him by. You were desperate to fully touch him and to be wrapped in his embrace, something you had desperately and madly missed. As he held you; you tried to soak in his scent, his aura.. just the fact that he was even here seriously with you, in this moment.

You previously assumed Xavier had passed away; that was easier to come to terms with rather than thinking he willingly ran away or.. that something else more sinister had happened. A part of you wanted to be frustrated that you were leaving with more questions than answers but.. you didnt care. Your heart didnt care. You were just happy you were able to see your boyfriend.. no matter the circumstance or conditions it came with. Even though you were stupidly happy, your thoughts kept annoyingly circling back to the same question - how was Xavier here with you, living.. breathing.. in the flesh. How was this possible? You were about to speak your thoughts outloud when you first felt Xavier break away from you. You didnt get as much as a second glance just when you felt something soft on your cheek. Perhaps a goodbye kiss? and then.. just like he wasnt there at all, he was gone. Almost as if he completly disintegrated into the fresh, morning sky.

You felt your entire body stiffen as you realized he was gone.. again. It was difficult to pinpoint exactly how you felt. It was a nasty mix of both grief and anger that left you completly speechless and deathly still. You took a step back to combat the feeling, and attempted to look casual (and not like the person whom you were just hugging had completly fucking vanished). Sheepishly taking a look at the group you had arrived with and making sure none of them noticed your.. odd behavior.

Sure enough, none of them did. They all stood, and continued on conversing just like they were before you had broke away from them. Smiling and laughing as if nothing was wrong; just like they didnt have a care in the world - just as if the love of their life wasnt ripped away from them for a second time.

Even though Xavier was now gone, that odd, unsettling feeling still lingered with you. Like something was terribly wrong here, in Camp Redwood. The feeling wasn't entirely bad though; sure - the overall air in this place reeked of something terrible but.. now you felt something else mixed into it. A comforting essence of safety; Xaviers presence. You knew he wasnt directly beside you anymore but he was somewhere.. lurking. Watching you, as you begrudgingly walked over to the group you came with. Making up a bullshit excuse in your head so you could escape whatever this place was pretending to be.

Taglist: @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakewaterxx @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @instincts-baby let me know if u would like to be added!! :)