#didnt put an option for multiple for obvious reasons but if anyone has multiple put it in the tags

[theblackknightofworcestershire]

Jumping on the hyperspecific poll bandwagon

[thedevilliers]

this is less a tutorial and more a semi in-depth explanation on my process while taking screenies. my do’s and don’ts about lightning, angles, text/dialogue, close-ups and other!

as a disclaimer, anyone is free to take their screenies however they want and this is just my personal preference and opinions ♡ everything is under the cut! i did say its LONG so dont say i didnt warn u 😳

i use the nobluv2 and noglo mods by luumia! i recommend them 100000%

1. lightning

with its exceptions, this being i’m in a room with candles/chandelier/anything that doesnt naturally produce a white light OR ambiance reasons, my setting with screenies is with the ‘Neutral White’ color. this is for me, more visually appealing than just bathing your sim in yellow light.

EXAMPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

warmer white:

poor lit:

good <3:

i usually test my lightning before i actually take any screenies so my sim is well-lit but also preventing overexposure bc of the lighting. an example of overexposure is when for example the lighting is SO strong, your sim looks like its ‘shining’

you can see it here on her chest highlights, her arm and her cheeks. i exaggerated it here so its more obvious. fixing overexposure is HARDER than upping the brightness in a poor-lit screenshot. overexposure and makin sims look like they are SHINING is a crime. JAIL

the best light ever tbh. just dont get... to carried away

1.2 outdoor lightning

this is one a bit trickier depending on your location but USUALLY your screenies would look well dark. again, test lightning before actually shooting screenies! i generally look for a lamp posts that have good lightning and shrink them down so if im taking angled shots, it doesnt get in the way. change the color to neutral white and if its too much lightning, just lower the dimmer:

2. just no

just no to all this:

in general, you can ZOOM to the max, and with the scroll-wheel zoom out THREE TIMES. four times we on the edge but its still acceptable. five times and you are goin to JAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in general i also recommend having a semi-big room so you can move around without any problems. small rooms DO work but chances are while moving around you’re either going to go outside the room, run into a plant in the shot or into another decor item.

for example, this is a ‘small’ room. while taking photos i have run into the bookshelves for over the shoulder shots like 8000 times. still, doable, but why put myself thru the suffering>?????

2.2 fill the room

nothin sadder than, for example, doing a bedroom scene and there just being...a bed. the game comes with so much clutter and theres also a lot of clutter cc to make rooms seem more ‘lived in’. its also a lot more visually appealing than the room being empty.

3. angles for screenies

my controversial OPINION!!!! i dont care for FULL surroundings shots for more than for a singular panel. THERE I SAID IT!!! usually i show the surroundings/scene setting in ONE panel and then i move on to other angles. again, has exceptions. these being a banquet, party, ball, another sim joins the scene, montages, etc! ANYWHERE that has something happening with multiple people in general.

for example, i don’t see why repeat the same angle with different poses. i can do it for one panel, but for the next ones? there’s the option of over the shoulder shots,  detail shots, them looking at each other shots, cinammon tography shots........... more than likely your reader already has an idea of where your characters are so showing it in every single panel is not necessary.

always try and leave a lil breathin room for the heads on top so it isnt all CRAMPED! but this all depends on the pose, if theres a height difference included in said poses and the angle you are taking the screenshot from!

same thing about not just doing...full on surrounding shots for when something is HAPPENING. say, someone is fainting, collapsing...ANYTHIN!! theres so many shot options than just repeating the same angle over and over again. DONT BE SHY!!!! DO VARIETY !!!

we in photography class now. BUT yes keep these in mind ALSO while taking photos so it isnt just the same angle, same distance just different pose. your sim has a nice outfit? showing it once is enough! every panel? ummmm......... your sim is crying?  do a medium close up/medium shot and not a full body shot!

3.1 close ups

your close ups and ALL screenies in general, don’t have to be FRONTAL only. they can be right/left side, a lil angled...

waist/chest level is a good level for a close-up sim wise since if you ZOOM in too much WELL

4. text/dialogue

i’d recommend any SANS-SERIF fonts. serif fonts are so hard to read even if nice looking. usually a font-size of over 40px+ works and you can add outside stroke and even drop shadow!

i personally use calibri (bold italic) for my screenies, but other subtitle fonts like arial, myriad pro, helvetica...really any sans-serif ones work.

my stroke settings:

i also wouldn’t recommend putting 4000 word paragraphs in ONE screenie because it’s just visually exhausting. the MAXIMUM i’d do and thats if ABSOLUTELY necessary is FOUR!!!! lines of text. id keep it to three ONLY and thats if your text is the same size as mine. if bigger then two 😳

yes <3:

another no-no for readability is INSIDE stroke or adding bevel/emboss to the text. pick bright, contrasting colors to the background or even clothes your characters are wearing so it’s not hard to read.

something a lil extra i also recommend is if your dialogue has different sentences and one ends and another one starts in the same line, continue it on another line. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE ok lets see:

the “Yes, maybe I went on [...]” continues on the first line, but to make it a bit easier to read just press enter and move it to the second line so it’s on it’s own line.

same thing for the "Be nice or [...]” line! it gets cut off to the third line anyways, so just put it in a singular line. final result:

for me, this is easier to read, less I GUESS ‘immersion breaking’  and easier on the eyes too.

and just other quick things to keep in mind:

will the post be horizontal or vertical? if its vertical, you have to angle and move the camera around keeping in mind you’re going to crop it later. yes, the scenary might be nice if its horizontal, but a lil vertical photo is cute!

best times for OUTDOOR lightning photos are 2pm-4pm. morning light is a bit too dark, 12 pm is the slightest too bright, but 2pm-4pm is just ENOUGH!!!

and thats all : ) i THINK i talked about most things screenies wise??? if you have questions, my askbox is always open : ) and remember these are just my opinions : )

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

warnings: extremely negative feelings towards a sibling, distressing / intrusive thoughts. placed under a break due to the content of the message. remember, I'm not a mental health professional.

updated with additional viewpoints from readers at the bottom!

I'm sorry in advance.

I really hate my older sister. She never respects my boundaries, insults me frequently, and is just annoying and hypocritical in general.

I've always had these issues with her, but she lived at her own apartment away from me and the rest of my family, so I've been able to control my hatred of her. But last year in March she moved back in and sold her apartment. She has no plans of leaving anytime soon, and I can't stand her.

We shared a bedroom for about a year because we were also taking care of my cousin who also moved in with us last year. My cousin has since moved out, but my sister is unfortunately here to stay for a couple of years. But with extra space, I was able to move into the spare bedroom and thought that would be the end of my problems.

It wasn't. In fact, she has become even more unbearable. The hardest part of this relationship is that she has a weird obsession with being with me. I'm not sure if this is because she loves me, or she's just weird. I think she's weird because my parents never act like she does.

Our bedrooms are right next to each other. There's really no reason for her to miss me. But every single fucking minute she's coming into my room to bother me. I would have more empathy for her if she acknowledged my limits, but she doesn't.

She's constantly cuddling me after I've said for MONTHS that I don't enjoy it and it makes me uncomfortable. She constantly belittles me by saying I couldn't live without her, and that I would be a mess if it wasn't for her (mind you, I've lived without her at the house for YEARS and I was perfectly fine). She's constantly in my business, interrogating me about every little thing. She once locked the door and wouldn't let me leave the room without answering her questions for 20 minutes; she asked me about a $30 Amazon order containing manga I ordered with MY OWN MONEY. And I had permission for my parents to order it! It wasn't her business whatsoever.

I've tried to keep her out numerous times; I've gotten in trouble for it. My parents say I'm being mean and that this is her way of loving me. What I feel like they ignore is that I'M UNCOMFORTABLE. Her way of "loving me" HURTS.

I've tried communication. I've had multiple meetings with my family about my boundaries and they say they'll change, but they never do.

Another factor that worsens this is that I have borderline personality disorder. I'm currently being denied therapy or intervention of any kind. I get told my mental illness is a result of me having an attitude and hating my family.

I writing this to you because I've been having very alarming thoughts recently. I'm been somewhat suicidal as long as I can remember, but this is different. I've been having nightmares about killing my family/my family killing me. I don't want to kill my family. As much as they have abused me, I know they truly love me deep down. But when I'm in a mental breakdown, I don't think for the most part. I'm afraid I'm going to do something to hurt them if they continue to push me. I'm too scared to turn myself into the police and I don't want to be taken away from my home. I truly need therapy, but it's expensive and I'm not allowed to get it.

Are there any options left for me? I love my family and I want to get better, but I can't stand them. It'll be a while before I can live on my own, and I don't think I'll make it that long.

I'm so sorry.

I appreciate that you came to me, however, please remember I am not a mental health professional.

I do not have the best relationship with my family. I've come to accept that they just exist and I moved away from them. I keep a strict level of familiarity with them for my own sanity and well-being. There are people in my immediate family I don't talk to anymore or only speak to in certain situations, with other people around to buffer my emotions. No one in my family understands or respects my mental health issues and I have ceased talking about it with them.

I will admit, I had to ask for help. I'm going to share the answer of someone I trust, because they are much more level-headed when it comes to something like this.

Use different words with your sister. Instead of "I'm mad or annoyed", use words that bring out more empathy - "You're making me sad and uncomfortable. You're hurting me." Anger is usually perceived as something within you, something you must control. But sadness is usually not perceived in the same light. People usually see sadness as something that has a cause and perhaps letting her know that she is the cause will have an effect on her. Using different words when speaking to her may slowly change her perspective.

When it comes to your parents, well, parents do not usually understand sibling dynamics. They're fucking useless most of the time when it comes to problems specifically between siblings. It might be better if you say something like, "Her constant intrusions are affecting my school work. My grades are going to drop." Usually, parents respond more urgently if you say you education is affected - and it doesn't matter if it's true or not, we're just trying to get them to help in some way.

I had to remind them it's summertime lol

Oh shit, you're right. Er. Well, In any case, it seems you've tried having reasonable discussions with your parents and it doesn't seem helpful to continue discussing this particular topic with them. Maybe get into fitness since it's summertime. Go outside, do something active. She can't cuddle you if you're running, right? Then you can also be stronger and feeling better physically improves mental health. Put some music on, go hiking or running, take yourself out of the situation.

I don't know if this is possible, but perhaps if you're experiencing a mental breakdown and you're afraid of hurting your family, run out of the house? It might be better to be physically away from them at that time to avoid saying or doing anything you regret. It may help clear your head and help your family realize that this is something that is truly debilitating to you.

I don't know your age, so I don't know if the school thing is relevant. It's only a suggestion.

You said it will be a while before you can live on your own. When I knew the cons of living with my family outweighed the pros, I did everything in my power to prepare myself for leaving because I needed a goal in order to survive. I needed distractions, reading, writing, gaming, music, anything else to occupy my mind and help control my thoughts. There was a time when I needed music to fall asleep (headphones in on low volume).

Also... uh.

I'm not saying you should do this. I'm only saying I did.

My siblings and I have physically fought before. One has scars from fighting me. The scarred one is the one closest to me currently.

Not saying you should do it.

But I did.

If anyone feels comfortable enough to share how they dealt with it in their own situation, please do. Maybe more perspectives can help this person.

--

some other experiences sent to me:

anon #1

I don't think I had a situation that extreme but my brother was a little like that. I honestly had to become kinda rude and indifferent. Like he'd always use my laptop and stuff and I put passwords on everything and just don't tell him. And then when he tried to hug or cuddle id say I don't liek it and just push him away physically now this soudns fucking obvious when I say it this way but like I don't think I read that u tried it ? Idk I discovered I have a loud annoying scream that neighbours will hear, and fucking strokg legs I used to kick him away but like I was tiny so I don't really endorse violence but I didnt like being close to a 'boy' essentially at taht age so yea... Idk man siblings are weird and I have had intrusive thoughts so I think I didn't handle it well but for a few years I became an asshole to him and then now I'm good with talking sometimes and I keep it short and sweet and I've mentioned that I'm sorry for being mean in the past bcuz like I am ? Bcuz I'm not an asshole ? ( But like I did what I had to do ) I hope u get the help and support u need

anon #2

I read the message from the previous anon and I have to say I relate to what they say. I wouldn’t say i’ve completely dealt with the situation when it comes to my parents.

I have 4 siblings and i’m the oldest, my sister that’s 2 years younger than me always gets in my way and is a tyrant. Because she’s much taller than me she overpowers me and i also have scars from when we’ve fought. My parents don’t intervene because they say we’ll make up soon and I honestly can’t stay mad at people for long. I also live with my parents and am not able to move out anytime soon until I get my degree.

A few weeks ago my mother was complaining to my father that I don’t help around the house and all that bullshit but it’s obviously not true. Anyway. My father came into my room and threw all my clothes from my cupboards on the floor and said my sister and I must get out of his house. He was literally pulling us and we were crying because where the hell would we go. My smaller siblings were begging for him not to chase us out of the house but he was ballistic. He was constantly throwing insults at me, calling me selfish and disrespectful. I was having a mental breakdown and I said i hope that God takes my life away because i’m too weak to do it myself. I kept saying that and when my parents heard me. They called me crazy and were laughing at me and said i should take it back because instead of me another one of my family members would go.

My parents don’t care about mental health and therapy. It’s all unnecessary to them. But after that night I tried to find my own way of getting rid of the negative thoughts, I choose to ignore what everyone tells me. I agree with everything that you said about trying to get away from their family when they have those thoughts. I try meditation and praying. I’m not sure if that person follows any religion but that’s what helped me. And writing can be cathartic. Also remember that you’re not alone, there are so many people out there who share your sorrows and can relate to your situation. I think about my little siblings who i’m close to and what it would be like if i wasn’t there.

Maybe if they could get a pet? I know having a pet can make you feel less alone and you feel a sense of responsibility towards them. As for their sister, she needs to see their point of view and tell her that she makes her feel overwhelmed with the things she does. She can spend time with her and try to make her understand that they need their space too.

anon #3

I also have sum advice 4 the sibling anon frm a fellow bpd buddy:

Does ur view of ur sister change from "i hate her" to "she's alright" sometimes? Viewing sum1 as all bad or all good is common in bpd ppl and usually changes alot. I rec writing down the moments where she shows she loves u. This could be thru buying smth for u or doing smth 4 u. I had a similar relationship w a friend and this exercise helped me remember that she might not have intentions to hurt me and might b trying 2 bond. Repairing the relationship might take a while. Talk alot if u can, it seems like ur family is at least willing to hear u out, even if there behavior doesn't change much. Keep sum distance if needed. Working out and finding fun hobbies is good.

If u feel like ur breaking down, try breathing exercises n identify 5 things u notice thru ur senses. What do u feel? What do u smell? What do u taste? What do u see? What do u hear? I personally like taking myself down rabbit holes. For example: I see a yellow jacket > this shade of yellow is a cool tone > what makes a color "cool" or "warm" > why do we associate red with warmth > what if the sun was blue > what if ocean water looked orange > is water wet

I usually end up forgetting what was making me upset. If it was a big deal I would still remember, but at least I would b less emotional and a bit more rational.

Search up cognitive behavior therapy and dialectical behavior therapy and try 2 practice sumthing similar 2 exercises u would perform w a therapist. Squeeze stress balls. Masturbate (this blog is perfect 4 that lol). Maybe watch some videos done by therapists on youtube. I watched a couple of videos abt therapists reacting 2 fighting in movies and I learned alot (this video was very fun to watch)!

Anyway that's what helps me! Good luck 2 u!!!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Hi!! So this is an honest question so i hope it doesnt come off as rude or anything- but doesn't the thought that everything you post here can be reblogged make you more reserved or anything? Idk how to explain it but whenever i wanna post something here i think about doing it for a super long time to be sure i want it to possibly be on the internet forever- but i see you're comfortable with sharing pretty personal stuff so i was just wondering if it affected you any way or maybe it was just me?

lmaooo it’s cool!!! there’s an unending AMA going on here and off the top of my head i can’t think of anything off-limits to ask about

it’s definitely not just you!! out of the ppl i know off the top of my head i’m probably really far and away doing the Most airing my bullshit. if you ultimately don’t like the idea of stuff just kinda sitting around to be seen by Anyone, that’s valid and there’s no problem with feeling like that makes you wanna Not Post some stuff

like this is especially true for young teens on the soche media…hell i just entirely threw out the blog i’d had from like 14 -18, and not because i was particularly embarrassed or anything, it just felt mostly obsolete. you can become someone so different in even one year and that’s fine and you might not want Old Venting and the like just sitting around out there. it’s definitely okay to be real private about that kinda stuff

i know sometimes ppl having sorta Compromises where maybe they’ll create a second blog / account specifically for talking abt personal stuff, and then only maybe allow friends (or nobody) to access it; or people will just tag everything with Delete Later and then go back and delete it later so it’s not out there forever, or just because they find it embarrassing soon afterwards lol

for my part, there’s definitely multiple reasons i pretty much don’t care

1. i never used to Vent post back in the early days. but one of my earliest examples maybe was this sudden essay i dumped on my blog when i was 16? 17? abt how unhappy i was at home. it took me till i was 18 to really start to realize that what i’d always lived with was literally abuse, and it was things like The Sudden Venting Essay that really helped me put it all into words and be able to organize my thoughts enough to write about it and realize that there was a lottttt of shit i was rly miserable about2. ever since then really i’ve found that when i write about something, whether messaging it to someone or just posting it in general, a ton of times it helps me kinda make connections or figure something out or just feel like i have a better grasp on an idea.3. even after i started maybe doing the occasional venting post, for a long time i was really hesitant about it, but this was mostly b/c i felt like i didn’t have ~real~ enough problems and/or nobody would really care. as for the former, well yesterday i was saying how i still have this underlying feeling that i’m an imposter / don’t count / not REALLY as ___ as other people or whatever, so i’m still working on that, but it definitely doesn’t upset me as much as it might back in the day. re: the latter—tbh i dont care if nobody cares. i write abt personal shit b/c i care. my entire blog is About and Because i care, and if other people care, great, if they don’t, ok.4. a lot of this is about having compassion for myself. i don’t look down on other people for making personal posts, so i don’t look down on myself, either. 5. more self-compassion: there’s probably olden text posts from the early days of this blog that don’t even sound like me coz my Outer Demeanor has changed a lot these past 5 or 2 or 1 yrs. but even if i stumbled across some Old Post of mine and was like “lmfao whats up w THIS loser” it’s like….well, i’m sympathetic to my Earlier Selves. this applies to like, me never deleting Late Night Sad Posts or whatever (even tho nowadays they’re never exactly like i’m upset, maybe just Melancholy or in a mood to talk abt something saddish) coz i’m like, well, even though rn i don’t feel like i Need this post, back then i did feel like venting to feel better! and that’s fine. i don’t find that embarrassing. it’s like if you’re thirsty on one day and you drink some water and at some random point during the next evening when you’re not thirsty you think back on that time you were drinking water and you’re like “wow, embarrassing.” well clearly its not a perfect analogy but the point is sometimes you might feel you need to talk, and sometimes you don’t, and both times are ok. its not an embarrassment to have been upset6. this blog is the most personal thing in the world for me lmao its my Main social media presence, goes back five yrs, and for like. well the whole five years its been what keeps me from being way more isolated than i am. irl friends have been long distance this whole time (save a couple exceptions) and mostly my way to talk to ppl has been on here. this was especially important when i was at my parents house for a couple yrs. it was fairly awful and being able to be in touch w ppl and being able to SAY it was awful was clearly important, and i became more inclined to write abt shit rather than hold myself back b/c my being able to say anything was important7. i still talk about things b/c being able to say anything here to people in the outside world is important8. i can’t be like “i cant talk abt this b/c its not important/interesting enough” coz if i did i wouldn’t talk abt anything. i just write b/c i have things to say, and this is my pointless blog9. i don’t expect i’ll ever become Well Known in any circles. for me the more likely concern is kinda disappearing either due to dying or incarceration or some other shit scenario. the times i talk on here are good b/c that hasnt happened yet and i have the option10. even if i did become well known, i don’t really care.11. also for uh…all the times i was living in my parents house thru my life i was really really isolated. for eons i was used to nobody knowing shit abt me and keeping p much all my thoughts to myself. nowadays this blog is what lets me be able to sorta Known and Seen and able to get in touch w ppl if we wanna. basically, there’s nothing TOO personal. i’m not even trying to push myself to “overshare” coz like i said, p much nothing is offlimits. i’ve just had a lifetimes worth of being very invisible and unknown to anyone12. actually i can still be very cagey abt myself in person. learning to be more open On Here is a bit helpful for that. 13. idk that anyone else would give a shit about old vent posts from me either. when i talk abt me im talking abt *me*, its really not even vaguely interesting when removed even one degree from that specific context. 14. maybe there’s the chance some shit will happen to be Relatable to other ppl and somehow helpful to them15. for example, a lot of how i realized i was actually experiencing abuse for real was thru anecdotal / qualitative posts abt it. sometimes there’s shit you think is Just You only b/c nobody else who it applies to is talking about it yknow16. maybe making it seem less a big deal to talk abt your bullshit if i unapologetically talk abt my bullshit17. i remember my younger self feeling like i didnt ~deserve~ to talk abt my own thoughts & feelings the way other ppl did coz mine weren’t as good, so i kinda do it for them / in celebration of no longer feeling that way18. i actually like to talk. i just usually can’t. irl i very very very very rarely talk at length about myself, i don’t talk much at all. for me this is where i get to talk19. hmm i may have skipped or forgotten something obvious but hey. for now, there’s this. no-limits milo they call me

[survivorinternational]

Episode 6 - "Thank all gods, even the weird ones." - Stephen

Thank all gods, even the weird ones. I was not ready to go home pre-jury again. Although I’m still wondering if theres a hidden redemption island twist because most merges happen at 11 not 10. I also need to be careful of Clash. I trust him now, but he’s a strong player. I need to be able to have my own game apart from his, and be ready to vote his ass out when he starts getting too close to ftc.

Um so I have to vote one of my 3 closest allies which sucks but if I vote Allan that’s the best it won’t upset pat or randy and keep Stephen with me as well I hope I win this game I will IA 

Liana won immunity which sucks because she was the easy vote and puts me in a terrible position. So far Ginger and Emily/Vilma are possible votes

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Everyone's so cautious about saying names this tribal council, I definitely needed that immunity. If I don't hear anything from Liana/Ginger/Emily, I'm going to put Ginger's name out there and see where it gets me

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Looking quite bad here, Emily did tell me I should be safe, but just incase that was to mislead me, I attempted some very poor guilt trip/flattery. :(

i’m like pretty okay with going to tribal tbh because i trust the four in my alliance with me? like the only one i’m a bit weary about is ginger just bc she’s like a lil weird in general lol and she could turn on a dime :/ but i do think that if she did choose to turn on me, vilma, and michael, she wouldn’t choose me to vote out this round. she’d probably go for michael? but that’s only IF she chooses to flip. idk if she will. i have high hopes that this round will be pretty smooth. if i had it my way, we could vote tyler out now because i think he’s not as invested in this game as jacob. and it’s hard to play with people who are invested. if tyler or jacob don’t go this round, at least from our tribe, i’ll be very confused? also looking forward to merge! i’m worried but at the same time i’m content. like it’ll be a small merge which i love and i have pretty good relationships with a lot of the people left. so! that’s cute! i think i’m in a good position right now. well liked, in a somewhat powerful position, and under the radar for the most part. i haven’t really done much (or gone to many tribals for that matter) that have made me feel like a threat. yes, i was a leader on the saolatoga tribe and i was the one that brought up daniel’s name at first, but it was like an easily agreed upon decision. i don’t think people were too shaken or surprised by it. it’s something on my resume for me to see, not everyone else. and that’s exactly how i like it! i’ll read my list of doings at final tribal council. and i’ll wow the jury. but it won’t be obvious to them what i’m doing until they look at the game more objectively. i think that’s a good way to play. always on people’s minds, but not too much. positive opinion, involved in big decisions, but never the ring leader to the point where it’s dangerous. i think i’ve figured out a good balance! i’m hoping this takes me far. to the end!!!

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so there's a lot of stuff going on so im going to try to organize my thoughts. here we go. liana is immune, so that's hard on the rest of the tribe who... pretty much all wanted to vote her out but that's fine. honestly liana being immune is better for me than it is anyone else, so I am fine with it. it is making waves though, but they're fun waves. so the alliance of ginger, michael, vilma, and myself mentioned either tyler or jacob because they're the only options not in our alliance right now, but the thing is, ginger went CRAZY and was pushing for us to NOT VOTE TYLER WHATSOEVER! and they just kept pushing for jacob instead. I was very weary about this, but I didn't say anything at first until michael messages me saying that tyler is gunning for ME. and then vilma messages me saying that Michael told her this too, only he said that the reason tyler was gunning for me was because she and I were so close. SO! this means that tyler is aware of vilma and I being in an alliance. and ginger was probably the one to mention it to him. and then GINGER MADE A GROUP WITH VILMA AND TYLER SO THAT VILMA WOULD WANT TO PROTECT TYLER MORE. anyway, once this got out, michael and vilma and I made a group to talk about the vote and I think we're leaning towards ginger for the following reasons 1. way too protective over tyler for no reason. how the fuck are they so close? 2. tyler somehow knows about vilma and i's connection even though we've been extremely low key and I have never talked game with him 3. ginger is just actually crazy I think we can get liana and jacob on our side way easier than we could tyler. we're planning on telling liana and jacob about the vote, but leaving tyler and ginger in the dark. we just need to make sure none of this gets back to ginger like for real! they leak literally everything. I literally JUST messaged them saying that Tyler had thrown out my name and not even two minutes after I get a message from vilma saying that ginger had asked her about tyler throwing out my name. like ginger gets information and RUNS WITH IT. I truly cannot trust them. and it would create less waves to vote ginger out than it would anyone else on the tribe I think. like... after all the craziness that's going down, we need to send ginger home. I could kind of tell that ginger was a little weird, but I didn't expected them to be so cracked like genuinely cracked. lmao

Annoying Lyana HAD to win immunity, getting your lazy-social ass in multiple ORGs make u slay the physical game...and now I feel my ass is in danger! Im gonna do everything in order to stay here and Im already making plans. Not resting for a sec.

Sluggy voted out... saw that comming, him cheering on Stephen may have screwed us a bit At least its not Merge Double Tribal is gonna suck though. FreeRice is a great challenge, while im not 100% comfortable in my position atm but I am going to throw this challenge a little to reduce my threat a bit. Oh yay... the only one we didnt want to win immunity, and they win immunity, this is gonna make tribal fucked. I dont know what we are gonna do atm but i will to figure something out.

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Pre Double Elimination Tribal: I may have done it. It was messy bjt with the order of events, I may have been able to pull the strings to get Ginger voted out. Its going to have to keep Tyler in the dark but its going to have to be a risk we take. Ginger it too full on and too wild. He can't be trusted come merge 100%. Tyler i think we can work with a bit at least

Double tribal? No thank you. I’m hoping it’s allan that goes home, I never thought I’d say that. I’d really like to survive this tribal idk if I am though. I’m v nervous 

Uhhh so apparently we didn't merge and we have a double elimination round instead (Again???? I wonder if it's a redemption type thing this time). I couldn't compete in the immunity challenge due to a busy weekend irl so I'm vulnerable and really just hope I make it to merge. This round ended up being quite an emotional rollercoaster for me, here's a recap of some of my thoughts: 4:16 AM So ngl I would've wanted to go for Liana had she not won immunity She seems very sweet but I have chatted with her the least out of everyone She might've felt she was in danger Now I'm a bit lost and hope at least someone would tip me off if my name's thrown around 5:14 AM There's no way Ginger is voting Tyler out 8:26 AM Hmmm Jacob wanting to vote for Ginger I think Tyler I bet doesn't want that I'm trying to imagine whether I'd be willing to sacrifice Ginger or not if it came down to it I'd rather not I think Because he's been very open with me about his relationships and stuff So I feel I have a good read on him atm He still hasn't revealed he knows Clash though And I know he is capable of being messy Very good socially So I'm definitely scared of him But he is one of my closest bonds here atm so losing that would suck Of course if it comes down to me or him I have to go for it This really sucks because I like everyone on this tribe Jacob said he's closest to Emily and Tyler Tyler saying he wants to work with me and Ginger These relationships are so complex it's gonna be hard to find a common target And I don't even know what's my own preference I change it every three seconds 2:05 PM I tipped Michael off that Tyler and Ginger have become pretty close And he made a point that betraying that trust could cause us problems at merge Which I agree with So that leaves us Jacob I like Jacob a lot he is super nice but I agree he would probably be the 'least problematic' boot besides Liana As long as Emily is fine with it God I really just want to make merge and jury I've never not made them so my heart would break a little if I didn't Although my heart will break a little having to cast a vote for someone on this tribe tonight Everyone's so nice ugh 3:33 PM Um Okay so Michael told me Tyler is gunning for Em??? Apprently because her and I are close Soooo he wants to take a stab at me too? Not stunned by that That's not the best thing to hear right after establishing an alliance with someone Kinda feeling uneasy about Tyler and Ginger now People I am not voting for 100%: - Emily - Michael - Liana (she's immune lol) I feel Emily and Michael are being 100% with me So that makes me feel good about them 4:50 PM So looks like it'll be Ginger going That kinda sucks and kinda doesn't (mostly does) I'm partially okay with it because I've honestly been spooked by him since the very first day, he is very strong socially and he likes to be controversial sometimes which I like to stay away from as much as possible BUT That guy trusts me And he is genuinely very nice I like talking to him I'm gonna feel super super super dirty voting him out My heart will be filled with sorrow and I'm kinda scared of his anger afterwards He has been super honest with me so far But others are being put off by his aggressive playstyle Ughh it breaks my heart to lie to Ginger But I’m not gonna go out of my way to save him here I just don’t think that would be smart plus the numbers just wouldn’t be there Plus I feel more secure moving forward with Emily and Michael 0:04 AM I feel really really bad about this, haven't really been able to eat all day I understand why I took a six month break from orgs My mind is just not built for these I feel too bad about betraying people Plus I just think this move isn't quite ideal for me I'm betraying someone who trusts me so much and leaving out Tyler who also wanted to work with me, at least if I was alongside Ginger But I really just feel more comfortable staying with Emily and Michael I'm so sorry I'm a pussy and don't want to go out of my way to save an ally It's on me 0:57 AM I might have just messed up because I just talked to Liana assuming she had already heard about the plan but turns out NO ONE had talked to her about it yet... Two hours before tribal???? God if she lets Tyler or Ginger know I am going to be in massive trouble Also I don't think I can attend the tribal live I feel sick and disgusted at myself because of this vote, it's too much I hate myself Ginger I'm so sorry you were nothing but a good friend to me and I'm doing you so dirty I feel absolutely horrible having to lie to your face 

Did I already make a confessional about this? idk. I won immunity! yay! this is good on two ends: I cant get blindsided and; I can maintain a fiction with my Ala Mai boys that I would have been next to go most likely if I need to. Right now the target is Allen, because if we vote Randy out Pat will be miffed. My only issue with that is it gives Pat a lot of power, especially if its not an American who gets voted out from the other tribe. 

So that immunity didn’t go well. The one person we couldn’t have winning the challenge, won the challenge. Now the 4 are going to have to cannibalise ourselves and I definitely fear that eyes are on myself and Clash. Our only hope is to try and get Stephen on our side but I’m really not sure if we’ll be able to do that 

Arg hi. Just woke up and we’re gonna thrive today. That’s a lie I never actually thrive it’s a facade. Anywho we’re going to tribal cause of the double tribal twist hooray. Everyone was down to vote liana but oh no she won immunity. Right so I like ginger and Jacob but these rats are going after eachother. Everyone is extremely quiet I wouldn’t be surprised if it was me going. It looks like we don’t have enough votes to save Jacob idk, I just don’t want to be voted out ok bye

Nothing is cooking like im so bored Stephen own the individual immunity challenge so now the four of me pat clash and allan have to vote out im voting allan out, hope they do

[starryloft]

Honestly, don't be a fucktard in life

Honestly, some people are amazing at twisting their words.

I used to group with this 2 friends of mine since year 1, let's name the one that's currently in my class as S and the one that's NOT in my class as W. With S, W and me, 2 other girls make up a clique.

I'm currently in my 3rd and last year of getting my diploma. I've always worked with S and W since year 1. So I have an understanding that S does work. Apparently, in this year 3, 1st semester, it wasn't so.

S, me and the 2 other girls from our class since year 1, formed a new clique. Obviously so because we are in the same class. WHILE W IS IN ANOTHER CLASS. NOTE THAT I STATE W IS IN ANOTHER CLASS.

S was nothing but an utter freeloader this entire semester. The group REPEATED tried to include her and asked her stuff. Her response? Nothing but half baked and vague answers. What's a normal person to do?

Moving on, the group wanted to meet to discuss about the assignments. ONCE AGAIN, TAKE NOTE THAT IT'S ASSIGNMENTS WITH AN S. So it's not only ONE assignment, it's MULTIPLE assignments. Since S has been giving vague and half baked answers all semester, and with multiple assignments due on the same day, I simply gave her a yes/no option. What I literally messaged her was, "S, are you coming to my house tmr? Yes or no lollll"

I honestly see no reason as to why she felt compelled to send the message, "I Skype you guys" to "I think I Skype you guys". I have no idea what difference the "I think" adds into the context, but if S really feels that she wants to, so be it.

Let's talk about the Skype call on the day that me and the other 2 girls met at my house. If you are wondering why of all places to meet, it would be my house, the reason is:

1. My house is the most convienent out of everyone

2. Everyone has been coming since year 1 (once again, this information is crucial)

3. No one else is willing to open their house

Anyways, me and the other 2 girls met in my house. We skyped the girl. We discussed about our assignments blah blah blah. After that, I was getting really annoyed because I started to think about how useless and incompetent she really has been for the whole semester. I simply asked her, "S, is there something going on in your life or something? Because the amount of work and quality of work you are putting in is kinda terrible". I cannot state right from the get go that it's utter trash. I was literally trying my best to sugar coat. This stupid S started saying how she had a mental breakdown, and took 2 days break. Okay, can.

The thing is, we allocated her to place photos into the site A WEEK AGO. We found her the pictures, and ALL SHE NEED TO DO WAS ADD IT IN. She took a whole week, TO ADD IN 2 PICTURES. Honestly, if this isn't what you call a fucktard, I have no idea what else to call her.

Let's change the assignment now shall we? Let's move on to assignment 2.

Assignment 2 is lesson planning. S literally did nothing for the ENTIRE assignment, and on the day of implementation, she fucked up. The whole group fucked up. Everyone fucked up. Me and the other 2 girls, got really mad and angst. We have our own personal lives to deal with, we spend the night doing all these assignments. And in the end, we need to get the same grade as S? Think about it, anyone with a sane mind will think that it's unfair.

Right after the class ended, we told S that we wanted to peer evaluate her. The only reason she could give us to convince us was, "I don't want to remod". WHO WANTS TO REMOD dumb shit. Our grades for the first assignment was pretty nasty, and we put in the effort to save our grades. What makes you think you can get a free ride from us? And further more, she even acknowledged that she contributed literally nothing for the assignment. I have the recording.

The only thing that's going on in her life is school. ONLY SCHOOL. Me and the 2 other girls has way more commitments than the other girl. I honestly have no idea what makes it so difficult for her to contribute to the assignment. Anyways, remember W? This is when she comes into the picture.

S started telling W that me and the 2 other girls wanted to peer evaluate her. So what did W do? Gossip and spread the word! People that we thought were friends with us since year 1, started messaging us - to guilt trip us for wanting to peer evaluate a friend.

Let's be honest, what's the definition of a friend? Apparently, S's definition of a friend is to freeload off them? I personally really feel like she needs to think back of her actions before claiming that she feels betrayed by us because she thought we were "friends". If a friend is one who freeloads for the entire semester and acts so self entitled, I do not need that friend. Heck, losing a friend isn't that hard for me. In fact, I lived my life solo for 5 whole years in my high school. It wasn't that hard. Moving on with the story...

Lets go back to the first assignment. Me and the 2 other girls spent the entire night completing the site for assignment 1. Damn, we didn't sleep the whole night. We literally did the damn site from 12pm to 5pm and 11pm to 9am. What did we get from it? S stirring shit up.

Me and the 2 other girls literally just submitted the assignment. I've been really stressed all semester. I've been vomiting real bad, like everyday. I've been sleeping at 3-4am for the past 1 month. I have really bad backache from my bad posture to complete my assignments. And my period never even came once during the entire semester (1 semester is roughly 14 weeks?)

Right after submitting, I ran to the toilet RIGHT AWAY to vomit. I was literally in the middle of vomiting, when my lecturer messaged me - saying that me and the 2 other girls needed to come down to the school to meet her. She stressed that it was urgent.

Mind you. We spent the whole night doing assignment. Heck, when we submitted the assignment, the sun had risen. We spent the whole night doing, we haven't even slept and we need to go to school???? ON A DAY THAT WE DON'T HAVE LESSONS?

Long story cut short, we went to meet the lecturers and we saw S acting all pitiful as always. I have to really acknowledge her ability to twist words and cry on cue.

The lecturer in charge of the assignment didn't really take sides, however our class advisor was clearly siding her and casually spitting her comments that no one really appreciated as me and one of the 2 other girls were saying. (Honestly, fuck our class advisor. You suck at your fucking job. You met us only once in the whole sem.) The other girl went to the hospital to get an IV drip, because she was feeling THAT SICK.

S said mainly:

1. Me and the 2 other girls do work late

2. She didn't have assess to the site

3. We didn't include her

Alright. Let's get a few facts straight with this fucktard.

1. We all have our personal schedules. Like I said earlier, we all have WAY MORE commitments than S - which only has school. We have school in the morning till afternoon. After that, we need to attend to our other commitments. And we have assignments due. Let's use our brains to think shall we? God gave us a brain for a reason after all. You have school from morning till late afternoon. From evening till night you are settling your other commitments. By logical thinking, when and what are you supposed to do to complete your assignments? Obvious answer: stay up till you complete your assignments! WOW THAT DIDNT USE MUCH BRAIN CELLS DID IT.

BUT WAIT, S DOESNT HAVE THE BRAIN CAPACITY TO THINK THAT FAR.

2. S CLEARLY HAD ASSESS TO THE SITE. The group created a group gmail account to assess the site. We had notified her that the site has been changed. By common sense, you should have been able to know that the site is still the same!

As long as you take the effort to simply log in, you would have been able to see the site! WELL, WASNT THAT SIMPLE.

3. We tried many ways to include her. I even played a fucking mobile game to talk to her. AND TALKED CRAP FOR 30 WHOLE MINUTES. JUST TO PROVIDE HER WITH AN OPPORTUNITY. I have mobile games. I hate it but I honestly had no idea how to talk to her. So I had to play it. The other 2 girls did try to include her too.

Every single time we tried, she would reject and brush off aside and say, "I'll Skype you guys"

Since we have gotten these 3 points clarified, let's move on to why the situation had escalated such that the lecturers demanded to see us.

First thing in the morning, S and her parents went to see the lecturers. S expertly twisted words and portrayed herself as the victim. And that wasn't all! S required MORE moral support!

So W brought down her group of friends to give her moral support. (Her group of friends are also the ones trying to guilt trip us) and God knows why this stupid dumb fuck, let's call her J is involved too. She has absolutely no connection to me and the 2 other girls. (Seriously, why are you joining side the fray for?)

Me and the 2 other girls talked about our point of view and shut S down for being such a fucktard. Apparently from what I heard, S's parents were very sad because the lecturer had said that it was S's fault. It was her personality fault for being timid and not courageous (I honestly have no idea who's timid and not courageous since she's able to twist stories and put so much MSG into her stories and tell so many people about it).

I don't feel guilty in the slightest really. I only feel bad for myself and the 2 other girls.

I feel bad for even allowing myself to know about S's very existence. Her very existence is a mistake and me knowing about her very existence is an error.

Honestly, fuck you S. (I hope that society trashes you so bad in life that you just fucking cry your guts out)

You have done nothing but made my anxiety hit the roof and made me bring out my bitch tactics. If I really want to, I can slowly fuck with you but your existence itself isn't that important to me. I'll let society deal with fucktards like you.