#didnt even RESPOND TO FUCKIN 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY'

[kitwilsonsass]

randomly, it popped into my brain, golly gee whiz, i sure am shocked i haven't been asked for a last minute ride to court tomor-

-unmistakeable sound of br@ys laughter coming from other room

aka, my text tone.

[nightfall-kachiniko]

can i make a request with aot girls + hange with a s/o who accidentally forgot about their anniversary?

LMAO YES-

AOT girls (+ Hanji) with a s/o who accidentally forgot about their anniversary

Paring: mikasa x reader, annie x reader, pieck x reader, hanji x reader

“Y/n?” She said as you were making breakfast for you two. “Yes love?” You responded back to her, flipping the eggs. “A-are uhm… are you.. mad… at me?” She questioned hesitantly. You chuckled a bit, “Honey what are you talking about? Of course I’m not mad at you why would I be!” You reassure her smiling back at your wife. “Then uh- why haven’t we talked about.. you know our plans yet..?” Mikasa asked you. “Plans?” You stopped moving around the bacon, thinking. “Wait we had plans?” You looked at her over your shoulder confused.

“Y/n.. are you serious?” Your wife looked side to side, and after realizing with a while of you staring that you had not a clue what she was talking about she finally spoke up, “Our anniversary dinner? Where would you like to go tonight?” She explained. “OUR ANNIVERSARY-?!” Almost flipping the pan over on yourself you exclaimed, “ITS TODAY?!” you looked over at her as she gave a small chuckle and crossed her arms. “Yes love, our third anniversary together, As I’m married together,” she giggled at your surprise.

“WAIT WHAT HOLD- HUH- STOP DROP ROLL- WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS TODAY-“ A blush rose upon your face in embarrassment. “Yes love,” Mikasa jokingly rolled her eyes at you coming over to you and kissing you, cupping your cheeks in her hands while staring at your shocked and nervous face. “I SWEAR TO THE WALLS ITS NEXT WEEK-“.

“That’s funny because the walls are no longer standing,” Mikasa remarked, teasing you.

“AHSTUDB TODAYS THE 8TH THOUGH WHAT DO YOU MEAN-“

“Today’s the 15th babe,” she kissed your forehead, ruffling your hair. “Oh- my- god-“

Sunlight shined in your face. Opening your eyes, you flipped over to your other side with a groan, sleepy and still tired. “You should start getting up babe, it’s almost twelve,” You heard your wife’s voice call out to you. “Mghh…. No…” you whined, “just a few more minutes,” the blonde sat at the vanity in front of the bed, she wore a lovely black dress that was a little bit longer than her knees.

Annie swiped on some lipgloss, smacking her lips together. “What are you getting dressed up for?” You asked her. Annie swung around in her chair and gave you a ‘wtf!?’ Look. “What the hell you mean ‘what am I getting ready for?’,” She mocked.

“Well you look really fancy and nice but why are you getting all dressed up? Especially at this day and hour..” you tucked the thick covers near your face, providing you with warmth. “Y/n are you fuckin’ serious,”

“Well yeah I mean I don’t get why you’re so dressed up you only do that on important days-“

“yeah like important days, LIKE OUR ANNIVERSARY!” she shouted and threw a plush bear at you, “Did you seriously forget!?”

“OWW WHAT THE- wait- ANNIVERSARY?!” You jolted up, eyes widened looking at the blonde. “yeah the fukin’ anniversary we have every year since we’ve been married!?” Annie said crossing her arms. “How the hell could you forget!” She scolded.

“NO IT’S THE 6TH TODAY OUR ANNIVERSARY’S THE 11TH’S!”

“DUMBASS IT IS THE 11TH-“ You both just stared at each other. “Oh my Gooddddd” Annie facepalmed. “Whatever I get to decide where we are eating now since you forgot,”

“BABY IM SO SORRY I THOUGHT IT WAS THE 6TH! I LOVE YOU!” You yelled at her as she slammed the door.

Pieck had been going all week. First with the many hours of training, next planning her little cousins birthday party, then having paperwork to sign and do as a person of the nine, and then babysit Friday, and even many more responsibilities she had to do. It was already Wednesday and she was burnt out so you decided this morning to make Pieck some breakfast in bed.

All week she had worked so hard and she deserves a little break, at least for today. ‘Hmm.. I’ll make Pieck an omelet wrap and pancakes, ’ you thought.

Grabbing all the ingredients, you started first making the egg, and adding in the cheese, ham, and cut up greens to the egg mixture. You cooked the omelet just the way she likes it and wrapped it up in a tortilla wrap.

You got started on the pancakes, adding in berries of sorts and flipping them to a golden brown. The day was calm and settling, so peaceful. You poured her a cup of iced coffee from the carton and then placed it on the tray along with the omelet wrap and pancakes.

(BRO I CANT EVEN WRITE COOKING- I SUCK THAT BAD AT IT 😭😭🔫)

You carried it upstairs and placed a little knock on the door before coming in. Your wife still laid asleep in bed, sleeping with her hair all messed up in her face, and her hands to her side. She truly looked like an angel.

“Peck~” you softly called out her name, placing the tray on the bed. “Love~”

Pieck moaned, exhaustingly. You softly pet the hair out of her face before waking her up with kisses. “Wake up dear,” you giggled as she tried moving her head away from your kissing parade. Your wife finally opened her eyes and stared at you. “Good morning baby~” you smiled at her, kissing her on the forehead. “Mmm… good morning..”

“Here you go love,” you handed her the tray full of food as she sat up. She smiled and giggled a bit wiping her eyes, adjusting to the light.

“That’s a sweet anniversary gift ,” she smiled before kissing your cheek. You smiled back at her only to just realize what she said, “wait, anniversary?”

She looked at you as she was placing a bit of the pancakes in her mouth, “huh? Yeah dear our anniversary, you remembered.. right?.. that’s why you made me breakfast?” She looked a bit confused. A blush or embarrassment rose up on your face, “WAIT ITS OUR ANNIVERSARY?!” You were shocked, looking at Pieck like you’d just seen a ghost. “Uh, yeah love hehe,” she chuckled, “you forgot?”

“NO NO I DIDNT FORGET I UHM- I-“

“It’s okay love,” Pieck giggled at your sight, “I almost forgot it myself! This weeks been way to busy,” she sighed. “PIECK BABY I AM SO SORRY I SWEAR TO YOU ILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU I PROMISE-“

“Love it’s okay!” Your wife laughed, “gosh I’m just happy we made it to three years,” she said jokingly. “I’m sorry really,” your eyes turned sad, “I thought today was the ninth I didn’t know it was the thirteenth,”

“It’s alright love, you can make it up to me by helping me finish this breakfast though!”

“HELLLOOOO MY (princess/prince/Royal)!” Your partner barged into your shared room, swinging open the curtains and blinds, making light come in through. “Ugh…. Hanji..” you groaned, “get the light out of my face…” you whined. “NO WAY!” She said, rummaging through your both’s closet. They then pulled out a lovely black dress. It had a glimmered diamond belt across the waist and a diamond rose at the belt.

(If you’re a male or don’t wear this type stuff, hanji pulled out a brown blazer that matches with their own, and an elegant watch with a chain necklace to go with it, along with the black pants and a black turtle neck to go under)

“Hanji… what are you doing..” you said, irradiated by all the noise. “Wake up! We are going to have the time of our lives out in town today!” She said, “Cant we do that tommorow…” you whined.

“UH- OH HELL NO- ITS OUR ANNIVERSARY AND WE’RE GOING IN TOWN!”

“Wait what-“ you said.

“Hm? What’s wrong?” Hanji questioned. You sat up straight in bed, “IT’S TODAY!?” you grabbed your phone scrambled to see the date, “May 24th” it read. “HUH!?”

“Y/N YOU FORGOT!?”

“I THOUGHT- I-“ you stood there in silence, questioning your existence (LMAO ME)

Your partner laughed at you, “HAHAHAHAH Y/N YOUR FACE, OH MY WALLS THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER- HOW DID YOU FORGET AHHAHAHA,” The maniac laughed.

“But I-“

“HAHAHAHA ITS ALRIGHT BUBBABES WE’E JUST PARTYING TODAY,”

They cupped your cheeks that were bright red from embarrassment, looking you in the eye and smirking with a wink,

“But we’ll do more than party tonight,”

[parismemes]

THINGS I’VE SAID ON DISCORD (OCTOBER EDITION) AS SENTENCE STARTERS.

“tell me everythng.” “HEHEHEHEHEHEHE” “i have read every single one of them and do not intend to stop” “i on principle only like songs that go hard” “I DIDNT THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT SAD WHAT THE FUCK” “heehoo. water boy.” “why i always sleep through this shit i hate it here” “gacha games count as gambling” “im also there. im laughing” “u r doing so much math and im just like hehe money” “what the fuck what the fuck NOOO what the fuck im dfgjhhfjgdhjfgkjdkghjd” “what a traumatic backstory” “I CAN SEE YOU READING MY MESSAGES IM GONAN GET FINESSED OUT THE FUCKIN WINDOW“ “THAT’S not good!” “if hes a fraid of dogs that sounds like a him problem” “i honestly deserve recognition for the absolute shit i just pulled off” “YES FUCK YEAH YEAH YEAH HELL YEAH FUCK YEAH HELL FUCKIN YEAH WOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!” “why the fuck would you want that” “yeah hes my only one true love” “by a few i of course mean like 600″ “no one fucking appreciate me” “thank you ___ for being the only person who appreciate me” “i reveal it in pieces and make you put it together like a puzzle” “im smart and never regret it“ “see, i just dont think thats right” “i will continue dangling it in front of your face like a scientist dangling bait in front of a fish (who is also in a maze)” “hes actually like an absolute fucking nerd a complete fool a fucking dumbass” “sorry your message glitched and i cannot read. anyway back to my leverage over you which is forcing you into a corner,” “it's not extortion because i don't know what extortion means” “why do they talk like exes. its because they are exes” “TIME SENSITIVE QUESTION PLEASE RESPOND” “he's a content creator he'll be fine” “what does this mean? but yes” “NICE NICE NNICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE” “for future record ___ just used the word poggers” “look at all these fuckin blondes” “its only been like a week and a half at most” “hes doing it out of affection” “ISNT THIS THE FUNNIEST SHIT YOUVE EVER SEEN” “you are terrible and also the worst” “i was going to send it at midnight but i got distracted trying to figure out the most barebones way to say happy birthday without sounding weird” “do you think i get punished more or less if i do sins” “i dont think the sins count as extra points if you commit them on the way to hell” “run over pedestrians” “i am slowly descending into insanity today, as a hobby” “you are a shit boy. a little shit boy go eat boxes“ “it's ok. we can figure it out later” “i didnt notice at first but it is in fact All The Fuck Over” “ITS BEEN OVER 12 HOURS” “hey guys just turns out we might have a �� gas leak ✨” “im sure if we put our braincells together we can figure SOMETHING out” “curious georg” “thank god. i could and would have argued this for several hours” “i think the worst thing ive heard today is someone calling the movie enchanted a reverse isekai” “i should not and will not stop” “i was RIGHT AHHAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA” “that wasnt a question you read it wrong” “i have no idea who this is but that wont stop me” “THIS MAN REALLY SAID HEAD EMPTY WHAT IS MONEY” “sometimes i say things and its best to just pretend you know what i mean” “WOT THIS” “I DONT WANT PEE ON MY BED“ “tired of all these stupid fuckin plants” “could you even really consider jelly filled donuts donuts?” “actually everything is real” “if you eat cereal for dinner, you're not having fucking breakfast” “i think my in real life superpower is that i have freakishly fast metabolism” “i dont care if you are evil you are MY TYPE” “you dirty criminal” “is a dessert item a dessert if it isn't eaten after dinner? discuss” “ok im done for the Right Now” “found a concerning orb. in the sky.” “HOW DID YOU KILL THEM” “why do i do this to myself why do i keep doing this” “the only simp here is me” “I No Longer Wish To Know!“ “DID THEY JUST END AN ENTIRE SPECIES” “WE ARE DETERMINED” “this is also really funny by virtue of the fact that these people are all fucking british” “they throw rocks at me and say we want the himbo” “THE CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT HERE” “its something that i SPECIFICALLY am passionate about” “hanburnger?” “thats just what living with siblings is like” “howd she get there? fuckin beats me dude idk” “i remember everything i am like a shark with an abnormally good memory” “i am sorry that you are predictable” “Hey Guys, Just Checkiing In To Make Sure You Got My Joke, Just Making Sure, I Just Wanted To Check In And See If You Got The Joke, Because I Was Afraid You Wouldnt Get It, So Im Just Checking In,” “i marked your worm” “what are you gonna do. unsend whatever you send me? i am Shaking in my fuzzy socks rn” “you Know i hate the idea of being wrong” “You Did Not Need To Stroke His Ego” “i am too stupid to live and if i was not vaccinated my genes would have no chance of being passed on because i would be dead” “~the oldest anarchy server in minecraft history~” “am i shaking because of adrenaline or rage.... who can tell” “I HAVE SO MUCH ADRENALINE IN ME BUT ITS 1 AM IN THE MORNING” “jokes on u i fucking HATE ___ i think hes the worst” “JUST IMPULSE MADE BROWNIES AT 9 PM HEYOOOO” “cry about it more bitch boy maybe piss your pants while ur at it” “im getting so casually toxic back to toxic gamer boys” “itll be fiiiiiine” “we are all stupid mice who take turns being the piper” “queen of bargains is me i am the queen of bargaining and scoring deals” “its not TECHNICALLY a direct threat but also yes it is” “i see a demon i go possess me then bitch boy u wont” “AAAA THE FUCKIN VIIIIBES” “IM NOT GOING TO STOP BEING MAD ABOUT IT”

[gvf-imagine]

Greta Van Fleet Preferences

HOW YOU MEET

——————————

Danny:

How you meet

“Ill be out here when you're ready to show me” your friend calls , knocking on your dressing room door. You give a simple “ok” as a reply and begin to undress. You're going to a wedding this weekend and your friend is helping you find something to wear, she found her dress weeks ago, you struggled in the fashion department. 

Your eyes fell on the dress your friend had picked out for you. It was a very gentle pink color and came down to your mid thigh, it was tight not flowy which was far from your normal attire. It looked nice enough but the price tag frightened you. You pulled it off the hanger and shimmied into it. Honestly, you thought you looked great, perhaps you should step outside your comfort zone more often when it came to clothing. The dress hugged your curves , which made you feel insecure but it's a wedding so no one will be looking at you, all eyes on the bride, hopefully. You fix your hair and pose for yourself, it was comfortable, surprisingly.  Ok time to show her. 

“So what do you think of this one? I kinda like it!” you say as you swing the changing room door open, your gaze looking down at the dress. 

“Yeah you look great” a man's voice responds, your heart jumps and you lift your head quickly. Your face burns red as your friend is nowhere in sight. In her place is a tall dark haired man casually looking through some belts. Your shoulders drop as you curse yourself. Idiot. 

“Oh i'm sorry! My friend said she'd be waiting out here for me” you reply with a smile, trying to pretend like you didnt feel like throwing yourself off a bridge. The man chuckles “oh yeah she left , said there was a cute guy that walked by” he answered looking towards the front of the store. God that is just like her, chasing after some dude. 

“It really does look nice on you” the man says again. You smile and look down at yourself “you think so? I usually don't wear this sort of thing, but i'm going to a wedding”  you explain with a chuckle. He nods, his eyes have not left you. 

“Yeah you look awesome, I think you should get it” he speaks reassuringly. 

“Holy fuck!” you exclaim then quickly cover your mouth, you didn't mean to be that loud. The man laughs and steps closer to you as you look at the price tag hanging from the hem of the dress. 

“This fuckin thing is 400$?! Jesus christ , I could make my own dress for 50$” you joke. Your shoulders sink, you really wanted this dress. The man laughs loudly.

“You're funny,” he chimes. He looks at your face, painted with disappointment. 

“Hey I could - I could buy it for you” he offers. You look at him in awe. 

“Its…….400 dollars….Why would you do that for me? You dont have to do that its just a stupid dress im sure I can find a cheaper one” You respond waving his idea away with your hand. 

“It's ok , I can afford it, I want you to have it” he insists. You don't know what to say , you just look at him. 

“On one condition though” he adds with a smile. 

“Yeah what?” you ask. 

“You have to take me as your date” he says shyly

———————————————————————

Jake:

Ok just breathe, you're fine , everythings fine. You tell yourself as your heart pounds in your chest. You were at an amusement park and about to go on the biggest roller coaster they had due to a dare from your friends, who were watching safely from the ground. Some random man is sitting in the seat beside you as two people had to share a cart. He didn't seem nervous and you wished you could be as relaxed as him. 

“Hey are you alright?” he asks , as if he knew you were thinking about him. 

“Oh um yeah im-im ok” you lied your mouth going dry. He smiles at you and watches you for a moment. 

“Are you though? Cuz your leg is shaking pretty vigorously there” he points out, his eyes falling to your body. You hadn't even noticed you were bouncing your leg anxiously. 

You stop.

“I'm sorry , I'm just a bit nervous I suppose, I'm kind of scared of roller coasters” you explain with a sheepish smile. 

“Kinda weird to go on the biggest one here then right?” he responds you chuckle at his remark. 

“Yeah my friends dared me, they are down there” you say pointing in their direction. He looks down and sees a small group of people looking up at you. The wind blew and you looked up at the clouds in search of comfort and solace. 

“Well My Name is Jake, and i've been on this ride a million times, you're going to be ok” He says with a reassuring tone of voice. He could sense how scared you actually were even though you tried your hardest to shrug it off. 

“Thanks Jake…..that helps. I’m (y/n) by the way its nice to meet you.” you reply smiling, feeling slightly better. Jake was a good distraction, he was gorgeous, chestnut brown hair that fell to his broad shoulders. Enticing eyes that made you wanna know more about him and his voice was sweet and soothing. You couldn't help but wonder what he thought about you. The feeling of the ride jolting under you ripped you from your daydream like state. 

“Oh fuck” you mutter , feeling your heart rate rise again. Jake smiles and grabs your hand gently. 

“It's gonna be ok” he smiles

———————————————————————

Sam:

Finally it was time to go to study hall, your last class of the day. You used this class to get your assignments from the day done. You headed to your desk but something catches your eye on your way. You look down at another student , you wracked your brain trying to remember his name. He was reading one of your all time favorite books, which surprised you , most people hadn’t even heard of the book before. You had to say something.

“Hey! I love that book” you say with a smile. The guy looks up at you with an equally excited facial expression.

“Oh yeah , it’s a great book, this is like the third time I’ve read it” he replies. You laugh, and nod.

“Yeah it’s such an awesome book, I’ve never met another person that likes it” you say.

“Sorry what was your name again?” You add.

“I’m Sam” he smiles.

“I’m (y/n)” you introduce , you both look in each other’s eyes and appreciate that moment. His eyes glinted with interest making you blush.

“Uh well maybe we could get together some time and talk about the book” he says stuttering slightly, moving his hair from his face gracefully, you watched it as it fell to his sides like a curtain.

“That would be awesome, here I’ll give you my number” you say quickly fishing for a piece of paper from your back pack. You jot your number down in neat hand writing and handed it to him. He looked so happy, he thanks you as he takes the paper.

“Alright class sit down” the teacher announces as she enters the room. You look to her and then back down to Sam before gesturing towards your seat, Sam nods and winks at you before you take your seat.

———————————————————————-

Josh:

Your eyes scanned the shelves looking for Almond flour, you were going to try your hand at making home made macarons. You loved to bake , you did it whenever you had free time and you never made the same thing twice. You smile when your eyes land on the last bag of almond flour , you happily pluck it from the shelf until you see the ridiculous price tag. Why is healthy shit so expensive? You shook your head at the thought and made your way down the aisle. You looked up seconds before a man was about to bump into you, neither of you saw each other.

“Oh sorry” you say taking a step to your right , you laugh as he takes a step to his left thus getting in your way again.

“Oops” he chimes stepping to the other side the same time as you.

“I’ll go left you go right” you giggle , he thinks to himself , eyes looking up to the ceiling before taking a step in the wrong direction.

“No your other right” you laugh. He smiles “sorry” he says palming his forehead.

“No worries” you reply stepping around him.

“Oh hey!” He calls a second later.

“I think you dropped this” he adds holding out a package of frosting bags.

“Oh thanks” you smile grabbing them from him, his eyes fall to your basket of items.

“Oh thanks” you smile grabbing them from him, his eyes fall to your basket of items. You tuck your hair behind your ears and look down at your basket as well.

“Uh well I like to bake yeah - I- I don’t know if I would go as far as to say I’m a baker” you chuckle.

“Do you bake a lot?” He asks simply.

You nod.

“Well that sounds like a baker to me” he smiles with a curt nod.

“Yeah good point , you got me there” you reply , you could feel your cheeks warming , you were blushing but you weren’t sure why.

“Are you a baker as well?” You ask.

“Oh no I should not be allowed near an oven” he jokes “I’m just lost, you wouldn’t happen to know where the Oreos are would you?” He asks gesturing towards the store.

“Oh yeah they’re in Aisle 12” you chime pointing in the general direction.

“Cool thanks” he smiles.

“Ya know I actually have an event coming up for a friend, I don’t know if maybe you’d wanna bake a cake for him? It’s for his birthday , we’re having a surprise party ” he explains somewhat haphazardly.

“I’d pay you” he adds.

Sold.

“Sure I’d love to!-“ you begin.

“Ok cool, so should we like exchange info?” He asks , his pointer finger gesturing from him to you.

“Yeah that’s a good idea , that way we can over specific details like size and flavor of the cake” you nod as he pulls his phone out. You recite your number to him and his eyes flicker up to you

“What’s your name?” He asks softly.

“Oh sorry! I’m (y/n)” you answer.

“(Y/n) cool ,I’m Josh” he smiles.

Josh.

Later you’re in your apartment, the delicate scent of raspberry macarons fills the air as they cool on your counter.

Your phone beeps in your pocket and you slip it out.

“Hey it’s Josh from the baking aisle, there is no event. I think you’re super pretty...and that’s why I wanted your number but I wasn’t sure how to ask. I hope you aren’t mad , I just didn’t know how to ask” You read the message and smile, and honestly you were kind of relived he was fibbing. Catering events made you nervous.

“Thanks Josh! Of course I’m not mad, I totally understand being nervous about stuff like that” you reply.

“Oh good, if I ever do need a cake you’ll be the first person I ask” he texts back , you smile.

“Ya know I actually just took some macarons out of the oven, wanna come over and be my taste tester?” You send back. Your heart warms at the thought of making a new friend , and a cute one at that.

[shyung-shoes]

tagged by the absolutely wonderful @kyunsies <3333 (i didnt know u changed ur url till this post!! its v cute!!)

20 questions!!

1. what do you prefer to be called name wise?

my full name is jillian but everyone calls me jill (except my family, especially my mom) i love nicknames tho but have never really had one beyond jill so if u give me a nickname ill die

2. when is your birthday?

aug 28

3. where do you live

east coast babyyyy

4. three things u are doing right now?

procrastinating on an assignment, watching a drama (while you were sleeping), and ignoring the basket of laundry i need to put away

5. four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

apink, gwsn, astro, april!! im still very new to all these groups tho so if anyone has any content/music recs, please lemme know :D

6. how's this pandemic been treating you?

it was a lot harder at first w/ the sudden transition from college to home. i was super happy at school and it was rough on my brain to be back home. but now ive adapted more and am doing better! i cant wait to go back to school though god

7. a song u cant stop listening to right now?

gonna reveal the extremes of my music taste but uh after the bloom (alone) by gwsn and bonfire by childish gambino. also without me by eminem. idk i think ive been feeling very angry/annoyed so rap is just a good way to get it out. and ive been fuckin so hard w/ gwsn’s discography that i had to put them on here

8. recommend a movie

tune in for love! truthfully, i prefer watching tv to movies but i watched this the other day and really enjoyed it! very cute and the ending was an actually satisfying ambiguous ending which is rare i think. its on netflix :P

9. how old are u?

18- im almost always the baby among my friends :// and i think im the baby on here a lot too

10. school, university, occupation, other?

im a rising sophomore in college and currently working as a dance teacher and waiting to hear back about an internship that’s actually in my field (event managment)

11. do u prefer heat or cold?

cold! i run hot naturally so i overheat super easily and i hate that feeling of sweating and being lightheaded. winter fashion also is much more my speed with boots and big jackets and darker lip colors

12. name one fact others may not know about u

im in a sorority! i think one or two people may know on here but i dont talk a lot about it. gamma phi baby (also @kyunsies youre only 4′11?? a baby!!)

13. are u shy?

i wouldnt call myself shy, im just anxious so im much more quiet when i meet someone for the first couple times. once im comfy w/ someone, my personality really comes out for all its dramatic glory

14. do u have preferred pronouns?

she/her

15. biggest pet peeve?

almost all my pet peeves have to do w/ eating lolol cause i get really bad anxiety and sensory overload from things like chewing sounds. so when people eat with their mouths open or let their silverware scrape across their teeth frustrates the hell out of me. the last one feels very specific but it irritates me yeet

16. what is your favorite ‘dere’ type?

tsundere or dandere i guess?? when a character starts to open bc of their love interest... i love it. ESPECIALLY when that character then becomes more open w/ other people because of their love. this also probably explains my natural tendency to love scorpios i think

17. rate your life 1-10, 1 being rlly crappy and 10 being the best it could ever be

i think im a solid 7 rn! which is honestly a lot better than i wouldve given it a month ago so thats a plus. im struggling w/ some mental health things rn but honestly, im pretty content with the way things seem to be unfolding for me

18. what’s your main blog?

this one! its not my actual main blog but this is the only one i use, tumblr just wont let me make this my main bc its dumb

19. list your side blogs and wha they’re used for?

i had a voltron side blog back in 2017? i think? but i havent watched the show in years bc its problematic as fuck i just didnt realize it back then

20. is there anything u think people need to know about u before becoming friends with u?

i am an extremely inconsistent responder- i am the epitome of the will respond in 2 seconds or 2 days thing but i will always respond to your message at some point. if this is about friends irl, its that i always have an earbud in and thats not an exaggeration- listening to music always makes me less anxious so i constantly just have an earbud in in case i feel myself get jittery. so i promise i am paying attention even if it doesnt look like it- im top tier at being able to pay attention to a song and a conversation

ill tag... @wennjunhui @leexchan @iiasha @lovechwe @1of1orbit @agemnor(theres ofc no pressure!!! <33)

[milofuckedup]

Questionnaire; task 2

read more about my boy under the cut

Basic Character Questions

First name?  Milo

Last names? Blevins

Middle names? Dean

Nicknames? Mi, Mimi, Spacey

Date of birth? September 9th 1996

Age? 23

Physical / Appearance

Height? 6″0

Build? Athletic, lanky

Hair colour? Honey Brunette

Hair style? Mess of locks across his head

Eye colour? Blue

Glasses or contact lenses? Neither

Scars or birthmarks? cigarette burns across his arms, a scar above his right eye

Tattoos? none

Physical or mental handicaps? none

Type of clothes? thrift store chic. He lives in light washed jeans and old button down shirts

Race / Ethnicity? caucasian 

Mannerisms? fidgety, stuttery, always rubbing his lips 

Personality

What words or phrases do they overuse? “im sorry” “lets play a game” “can we go home?”

Do they have a catchphrase? No

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? pessimistic

Are they introverted or extroverted? VERY introverted

Do they ever put on airs? no

What bad habits do they have? smoking, drinking, running away 

What makes them laugh out loud? just about everything

How do they display affection? gently nuzzling his head into you, resting his head on your shoulder, holding your hand. He likes to be touched softly

How do they want to be seen by others? like a nice person, someone who loves deeply and genuinely 

How do they see themselves? as actual human garbage 

Strongest character trait? sensitivity 

Weakest character trait? sensitivity 

How competitive are they? not at all

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? he over things EVERYTHING

How do they react to praise? awkwardly

How do they react to criticism? crying

What is their greatest fear? spiders

What are their biggest secrets? he is sure that everyone in his life hates him, they all want him gone, so he works with everything that he has to try and get people to stay

When was the last time they cried? right now, he is probably crying this moment. 

What haunts them? his father

What will they stand up for? his friends, his loved ones, never himself

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? indoorsy

What is their sinful little habit? chainsmoker 

What quality do they most value in a friend? honesty, loyalty, wont leave him

What do they consider an overrated virtue? Dignity 

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? his inability to speak about what he wants, what he likes, what he needs from someone

What is their obsession? reading

What are their pet peeves? people biting their nails. 

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? hes all alone. 

What is their perception of family? that it isnt who you are born with it is who you chose. 

Do they have siblings? Older or younger? none

Describe their best friend. Luna Olsson she is selfless, and thoughtful and has picked Milo up more times than he can count, she is the on person on this planet he trusts enough to live with, he loves her more than he thought he could, he has let her in more than anyone else. 

Ideal best friend? See Above

Describe their other friends. Hudson the person he always turns to when life gets too tough. Tanner  the man that he can always have fun with, turn his brain off with and just let himself breathe with. Rion someone who has always been perfect and loving and gentle with him. 

Do they have any pets? no 

Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? he was a quiet baby, and a well behaved child, he did everything that he could to get his mother to stop abandoning him  

Did they grow up rich or poor? DIRT poor

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? neglected 

What is their greatest achievement? staying alive

What was their first kiss like? awkward, fumbly, he threw up afterwards because his stomach was in knots

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? make them feel like they were second best

What are their ambitions? maybe get his GED one day

What advice would they give their younger self? its all shit, dont even bother trying

What smells remind them of their childhood? burning tires, old gas stations, and piss under bridges

What was their childhood ambition? to stay alive

What is their best childhood memory? his 10th birthday his best friend came over with a cupcake and remembered the day while his mom was drugged up on the couch

What is their worst childhood memory? take your fuckin pick. 

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? no

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? every day 

What past act are they most ashamed of? any time he has ever been intimate with someone 

What past act are they most proud of? any time he has been intimate with someone 

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? no 

Are they in a relationship? no 

How do they behave in a relationship? like a lovesick puppy, very clingy, very needy, asks if they still love him every twenty five seconds 

When did you character last have sex? two years ago

Has your character ever been in love? yes

Have they ever had their heart broken? yes

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? tears

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? his tongue 

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? the teddy bear his grandma gave him

What do they love to hate? reality television 

What are their phobias? spiders, the dark, being alone

What living person do they most despise? no one 

Have they ever been bullied or teased? his whole life 

Where do they go when they’re angry? on a long drive to the next town over 

Who are their enemies and why? he doesnt like to have any 

Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current job? gas station clerk 

What do they think about their current job? he hates it

What are some of their past jobs? gas station clerk, thief, drug dealer

What are their hobbies? reading, writing, singing 

Educational background? didnt get ANY formal education

Do they have a natural talent for something? singing 

Do they play a sport? Are they any good? god no 

What is their socioeconomic status? lower lower lower class 

Favourites

What is their favourite animal? cats 

What place would they most like to visit? england 

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? the beach at night 

What is their favourite song? halloween - hunny 

Music, art, reading preferred? music: indie. Art: abstract. Reading: character studies 

What is their favourite color? green

Favourite food: chicken tenders and fries

What is their favourite day of the week? friday night

Possessions

What is in their fridge: ketchup, sauces, lemons

What is on their bedside table? books, a glass of water 

What is in their car? absolutely nothing

What is in their purse or wallet? his id, and his library card

What is in their pockets? a packet of gum, his phone, his empty wallet, his keys, two rings that he takes on and off 

What is their most treasured possession? his book collection

Spirituality

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? doesnt have one

Do they believe in the afterlife? no

What are their religious views? none

What do they think heaven is? a full fridge and your best friends 

What do they think hell is? other people

Are they superstitious? no 

What would they like to be reincarnated as? a house cat

How would they like to die? car accident or sleep 

What is your character’s spirit animal? field mouse

What is their zodiac sign? virgo

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? abandonment 

When did they last lie? he doesnt really lie, he mainly omits truths

what is their view of lying? he hates it, thinks its despicable 

When did they last make a promise? last week 

Did they keep or break their last promise? he broke it

Daily life

What are their eating habits? whenever he can, he will eat whatever is in front of him. 

Do they have any allergies? pollen 

Describe their home. small, dingey, covered in books, a bed on the floor, empty fridge 

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? clutter hoarder 

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? sleep, he just finished the night shift

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? go for a walk and take a picnic

What do they do on a Friday night? stay in and read

What is the soft drink of choice? sprite

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? whiskey neat

Miscellaneous

Who is their hero? he doesnt have any

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? dracula

If they could save one person, who would it be?

If they could call one person for help, who would it be?

What is their greatest extravagance? he owns an iphone 5 

What is their greatest regret? hurting angel @angclhqs​

What would they do if they won the lottery? buy a house, donate the rest

Do they believe in happy endings? no 

What is their idea of perfect happiness? a good book, electricity on, and a cup of tea 

What would they ask a fortune teller? how long until I am content

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? 2200 

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? invisibility 

[narryblossom]

Hiya! I had the worst possible day, and I'm in bloody agony, and here you go and cheer me up with your last post. Notice how Harry doesn't let go of the stand, and kind of stares at Niall until he looks up, before twirling away? It kind of made me wonder what Narry headcanons you have of them trying to make the other one laugh, or just generally trying to cheer each other up?

!!!!! i hope you’re feeling better love. i put some headcanons under the cut because i got a little carried away………………………………

first it’s important to note that narry are WEIRD (boy)friends. very weird. Niall has said of Harry that he’s “quirky as ‘,’ ” (in the TMH album booklet, and i don’t think anyone would disagree that harry is a DORK) and i’m p sure shania fuckin twain herself said niall’s annoying (but in like a good way), so i have no doubt that these two are silly as weird as hell. that makes headcanons very fun.

you remember that scene in the TMH tour movie where harry’s shirtless and just got his resting bitch face on and niall’s just standing in the background and holds up a football and just shouts FOOTBALL!!!!! bc that’s the stuff i imagine. odd little things that just make each other giggle.

so say they’re at an event. an award show maybe. maybe harry’s not having a good time (maybe this is in the past and one direction is going to get snubbed yet again who knows). Niall’s would do something like blatantly tickle him and then dart away to hide behind liam to see if harry reacts. he does, a little quirk of the brow, a bit of confusion. niall comes out of hiding, stands beside him, waits for harry to look away, then does it again– stick his hand under harry’s jacket, tickles his ribs, and jumps to the side to hide behind someone, stick his head up, give harry a playful “what are you gonna do” look. he wouldn’t stop until harry made chase, actually going after him one of those times he jumps away. he’d catch niall with both of his hands on his waist, being all dramatic, planting his feet into the ground, yanking him backward until he stumbled into his chest. niall expects to be tickled to death but harry would probably just hold him, (one arm around the shoulders, other hand on niall’s waist, more or less completely facing each other but not really saying much because holding niall makes him feel better). niall’s always so bright and happy, he’d be laughing and holding conversations with other people while harry’s not letting him go and it would cheer harry up to be in that sphere

or maybe niall’s not having a good day, maybe they’re alone. at home. it’s the future. they’re Together. harry’s very good at talking, i think we all know this by now, he does it a LOT, he’d just talk niall into a better mood. it goes like this:

harry walks into the living room, niall’s reclined on the couch trying to watch a game but it’s not going well so he’s not feeling much better. harry climbs straight on top of niall, lays down so they’re chest to chest, lets his cheek squish against the side of niall’s head and  says “hello darling”

“harry you’re squishing me”

“am I? weird, didn’t notice.”

“harry”

“i saw a cat today, it looked just like my mum’s, and i asked it how it got all the way over here but it didnt understand me”

“pet, you can’t talk to cats”

“i CAN talk to cats, cats just can’t understand me”

niall laughs, like a sputtering “you’re such a doofus” kind of laugh and puts one of his hands on the dip in harry’s back and doesnt even try to push him off. harry smiles. he’s got him.

“what kind of dog would i be? if i were a dog, like–”

“something yappy. a little chihuahua maybe. or like a little posh dog, a cocker spaniel with them curly ears or something.”

Harry squawks, looks up at niall and gapes, and niall just laughs. “You asked!”

“yeah, well!” harry starts, doesn’t know where he’s going. lays his head back down on niall’s shoulder, wraps his arms around him the best he can. “you’d be something warm. and loyal. and cuddly. like a big golden retriever.”

“heard that before”

harry squawks again. niall laughs again. they’re so In Love, it’s the small things that cheer each other up. niall likes a good cuddle even if harry’s talking his ear off.

“what team is this again?”

“he scored! oh wrong team.”

“hey when’s the last time we called bobby? we should call bobby i miss him.”

“hey so i know gemma’s birthday isnt for another 6 or 7 months but i was thinking we would give her a holiday, send her wherever she wants to go you know and maybe tag along u know maybe!!!!”

“hey niiiiiall. niiiiiiiiaaalllll. niiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllll”

(“you literally didnt even give me a chance to respond to you, harry”

“I love you.”

“i love you too, pet”)

i gotta stop somewhere let’s leave it here xx

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis: “a babe, a snack, a f-cking heart attack”

[Specific-Summary]:  They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking, 

[Tags/mood:] highschool au,  fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)(16) (17) (18) (19)

(20) (21)

D: [Picture of Roman and Logan cuddling asleep. Jpeg] Aw what a lovely couple

R: s h ut u p sh ut u p

D: Hey you were the one who said it was ok to make fun of your crush

R: I SAID THERE WAS NOTHING TO MAKE FUN OF BECAUSE I DIDNT AND DONT HAVE A CRUSH

R: ok i might have said to not bring it up to his face again but that was not an admission of anything deeper then standard thirst ok

R: deeeee yyou’re not responding and your silence wont make me talk

D: Oh I was getting the evidence

[Screenshot. Jpeg]

D: Huh… That seems pretty soft and gay for “standard thirst” don’t you think?

R:....

R: YOU MENTION SOMEONES CHUBBY CHEEKS ONCE. ONCE.

D: It was more then once {Screenshot Montage. jpeg]

R: he has a lovely smile ok!!! And all those dimples and his moles byg od!!!i can appreciate friends!!!

D: and I have beautiful piano hands you think were sculpted from the finest porcelain and should be protected but alright just a friendly friend thing to constantly be thinking about

R: why must youl punish me for speaking the truth????

D: it's apart of the job <3

D: but yeah we all know you dont have a hand fetish or a smile fetish you were just raised on a diet of shakesphere and disney

R: you know,,, boyfs usually don’t yah know e nc oura ge this HYPOTHETICAL behavior

D: I mean if it was someone like Remy then yeah I’d have some issues D: But it’s L so it’s all good

R: remy isnt that bad!!! yall be petty!!!

D: That’s Why We’d Have Issues D: If I have to share I’d at least liked to enjoy the other person’s company

R: thats almost sweet

D: I try

R: speaking of trying… this weekend?? you free???

D: If this has anything to do with a birthday present I Dont Want then I’m suddenly busy with homework

R: lies lies lies lies lieeeeeessssss you barely do homework

D: ;)

R: but really i told you im not getting you a physical gift but we can still go on a date!!!

D: mm sounds like you treating me and thats Illegal and suspicious

R: nope! I want a date! It's entirely for selfish reasons!!!no selflessness here!!! And if we just so happen to end up at one of those stuffy art museums you like or a book signing or two then well dang i guess???

D: what are you planning

R: it's a date!!a cute little date k!!! So you down?

D: Perhaps

R: yee boy

D: If you drive me there <3

R: SLIMY

D: Snakes do not have slime ™

R: yet here we are

D: So?

R:alrigh fuckin bet lets do it

D: Wai D: t wha

---

“Happy birthday!” Roman cheered, crashing into Dmitri.

Without looking up, Dmitri easily caught Roman in his arms, “My birthday isn’t for two weeks,” he sighed, his exasperation being melted as Roman nuzzled him further.

“Mmm shut up,” Roman dragged Dmitri behind him in the parking lot, the school bell ringing, “We had a deal so stop pouting,” he said, sing-song.

“It’s not a pou...Then why are we going to my car,” Dmitri said, expression souring and no it wasn’t a pout, he does not pout--

“Because, ” Roman said, expression sly in the way that always made Dmitri’s stomach flip, “You’re a babe, and I love you dearly, but Virgil’s car is his baby and some lines aren’t meant to be crossed.”

“Uh,” Dmitri ignored his blush, “Noted.”

-

“I’m surprisingly in one piece,” Dmitri said as they got out, “With all those cute faces you make when concentrating it was a wonder I got out alive.”

“Shut up!” Roman shoved him lightly.

Dmitri caught his hand swinging it between them, “Where are we anyway?” he vaguely recognized the park.

It was one of the smaller ones around, with it’s old, weathered playground blending almost seamlessly with the unruly trees. The discarded toys and cracked pavements so achingly familiar that he had to second guess whether or not he actually could hear children laughing.

Roman looked up at him, lips quirked, “Don’t you remember? It’s where we first met,”

“But we met in 8th--” he stopped as something clicked, his hand drifting to his scar automatically, “Huh, church camp?” he looked at Roman curiously, “There were a dangerously high amount of kids who went there, how did you even know me?”

“We were...always the last kids picked up,” Roman said, "Virgil and I always had each other or Remy to keep each other company, but you…” he got a faraway look and he rubbed his arms self consciously, “You always looked so... lonely...I guess I never really forgot.”

Dmitri sighed pushing a stray curl from Roman’s face, “You’re so sappy,” Dmitri murmured with a fond look, effectively pulling Roman back down to earth.

He didn't bother to linger on the memories for too long, instead pulling Roman along gently, “Let’s see if those rusty swings still work, eh?”

----

“Stop fidgeting,” Roman whined, the flower crown falling limp in Dmitri’s hair. Dmitri continued to ignore his request, choosing to press his face into Roman’s stomach, much to their distress.

“How do you expect me to just ignore such a fuckin’ snack?” Dmitri said, muffled in Roman’s skin.

Sure the ground pressed into him at an uncomfortable angle, but Dmitri had the important job of figuring out if that was a new freckle he spotted. He planned on being thorough. Roman eventually relented to the very important investigation, dandelions falling to the wayside as Dmitri shifted him onto his back.

Even when Roman managed to reluctantly bat him away, Dmitri still looked mighty pleased with his new spot between Roman’s thighs.

“Having fun?” Roma drawled, resigned.

“Always,” Dmitri’s immediately said. He cupped Roman’s face, hair falling in waves around them as he leaned down.

“Mmm,” Roman hummed, the air warm, “Do you want your real birthday gift now?”

Dmitri’s eyes narrowed, “Roman…” he said, warningly.

“Hush,” Roman said, no whine in his tone. Instead, it was of calm reassurance, “I didn’t buy you anything. I just got a bit nosy…”

“What do you…”

“I talked to a few old friends who knew Emile--”

Dmitri stiffed, pulling back, “-- he left without a word, he fucking hates--this town.”

“Dmitri, let me finish,” Roman said softly, slipping a hand on their shoulder and sitting up, “I asked a few of his old friends, got in touch with him,” he explained, “He’s living with a few cousins in California, he’s doing well...and...and I asked him about you…”

“He fucking hates me.”

“No, he misses you.”

----

Dmitri slid into the driver’s seat before Roman could protest and soon enough they were driving back in silence.

It had been a long time since it’s been this...awkward between the two. Sure they have their quiet moments, but it was never like this…. Roman had never done well with silence, even if Dmitri seemed to thrive in it.

Roman twisted his hands, forcing himself to speak, “Dee...I’m sorry if I overstepped your boundaries. I know it’s a sensitive subject,” he said.

Dmitri’s remained intently focused on the road, “You were being thoughtful, a prince as always,” he said with a smile.

That smile.

You know the one.

“That’s some god-awful bullshit,” Roman said, “You're angry.”

“Not at you,” Dmitri said, far too quickly.

“It’d be okay if you were,” Roman said and Dmitri’s face faltered, “As much as you claim me to be faultless, that little conversation about boundaries applies to me as well. It’s your birthday gift, so it’s your choice what to do from here.”

“Does this...gift have a receipt…”

“It can if you want it to.”

“And if I…” Dmitri's voice cracked, but he continued, “If I don’t want it to…”

“I have his new number and you have all the time in the world. Don’t stress about it he’ll understand.”

Dmitri wanted to think Roman was lying. God, he wanted it to be a lie because the truth curled in his mouth like a foul aftertaste. It rose in him and consumed him completely.

He was afraid, so fucking-goddamn afraid.

He saved the number regardless.

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

[vamytas]

18th May ‘94

     Molly,

Thanks for your exhibition prints. I’ve sold a few off the counter, the deer ones are popular. Still find it funny that people opt for the cuter kind, even if the forest frolickers are dead, although when one woman came in to buy a wallet for her husband and I told her the deer was a taxidermy she didn’t seem as eager to look around much more! Shame, that. Tried to tell her half the cost went to the RSPCA but she didn’t buy it. I’ll see if Alex wants one. Have you sent some to Tommy? He’d like the mouse driving the car (that’s him, right...?)

I would say ‘same old’ here if it was true but it’s not. The bloke I work with, Rob, the one who thought it would be a grand idea to throw Alex’s surprise birthday bash, he hasn’t shown up for work in a couple days and he won’t pick up his phone. I could joke that it was Alex’s doing but at this point with the way he’s become such a recluse I wouldn’t put it past him. Maybe they eloped? Not that they have any reason to, didn’t catch on to anything like that. Not that you’d care, obviously (ha ha). I shouldn’t joke about it, though. Rob’s somewhere we don’t know...or at least I don’t know. Thank god Alex is responding even if it’s minimal. I asked him if he knew anything and  he said he didn’t. At the moment it’s a mystery to us but I’m not sure if Rob’s family have managed to get in contact, or if he has any family to worry over him, there’s a lot of characters like that around here.

Don’t be a stranger, even if you have all the critics climbing all over eachother just to glance at your face. Are you really going to try and pull the Banksy thing?

    Much love,

    Seb

P.S. Have you installed your dial-up yet? Data’s quicker to send than paper.

21 May 1994

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: Beep, beep ... nnNNRRHH

Happy to see you’ve joined the legion of the world wide web! I know a lot of people complain about the noise but it doesn’t sound much different to what we used to listen to. You haven’t sold your original 20 Jazz Funk Greats, have you? Not sure it would even rake in much with what we drew all over the back, unless you or Alex get put in the Tate. With the way you’re going I wouldn’t say it’s a far way off! Also need more of those prints! Running low. You’re a popular girl here :) -- that’s called a smiley.

As for the Earnshaw Update: he’s as much a hermit as your sister used to be when she started getting into The Cure. I don’t know what instigated it but he’s only been reachable by phone since his birthday, and only at night. I’ve tried dropping in but his door’s been shut tight and I don’t know where he keeps the emergency key. You should try talking to him (I can resend his address if you’ve lost it, he hasn’t got internet yet). That’s if I can’t tide him over by telling him you’ve got a gift, next time he picks up... if he does. Sorry, that sounds very doom and gloom. I really am worried about him, if only because he hasn’t been in this kind of stasis since... well.

Please get back to me as soon as you can.

Much love,

Seb

23 May 1994

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: He’s alive!

Did you send that print to him? I came by his place tonight and he answered after the first knock! Smiling as ever. He felt colder than a Yorkshire winter, though, and pale. I told him I could help with the gas bill if he needed it but he waved me off. We went out to one of those clubs where everyone is in fishnets and knock-off McQueen, which is nothing new, but they were playing that new MTV gothic stuff, the kind he said he hated -- could be broadening his horizons. I lost him for a bit but he found his way back, he’s somehow easy to distinguish from the crowd now (for me that is, imagine it’s always been the case with you, ha ha!)

He also told me that Rob went on a spontaneous break to Rome. Rob in Rome! And that I’d be getting a “confirmation of assumin’ such responsibilties required of a leather shoppe owner, as well as the salary”. Alex and him were closer than I thought.

It’s all looking up here. What’s happening with you? Apart from the Guardian editorial, you don’t tell me much apart from work!

Much love,

Seb

27 May 1994

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: Concerned again.

I don’t mean to ignore the other topics covered in our ditties but Al has gone Weird. I know he always has been, in that ‘cool cousin’ kind of way but now he’s just... I don’t know. He’s practically nocturnal. There’s more and more stuff popping up in his wardrobe that he used to say was a ‘fuckin’ disgrace of shite taste’ -- the chokers! There must be about ten discarded around his whole place. I’ve seen some of his paintings too and they’re dark, as in David Lynch meets Goya’s black paintings, I mean they’re good -- really good -- but it just seems excessive.

Worst of all, he keeps mentioning Ricky. Since the accident he’s been fairly healthy with talking about it but now it seems like he’s got this growing obsession with ‘what it all meant, his death’, I don’t even know what Alex meant by that.Then he’ll ask me where I think Ricky is now and honestly I don’t know, I don’t like to think about it. I just keep saying ‘somewhere warm’  because it seems like Alex needs the comfort. I don’t know if what happened to Ricky got to him more than he let on before, or if he was too preoccupied at the time with making sure I didn’t do anything drastic. Was I that needy?

I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what to suggest either. Sorry to end on such a downer of a note.

Love,

Seb 

1 June 1994 

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: Dire.

I don’t know him anymore, Molly. When we don’t go out he just wants to talk about Ricky with me, like I’m a proxy for some kind of loss he’s going through. But I don’t know what loss that is -- you? It’s the only comparison I can think of. I feel like the kid stuck between two divorced parents with you two sometimes. Except he avoids talking about you all together and if I do bring you up, like how you were moving back to London, he just looks down, rubs his beard... a new habit. 

(Beard, yeah. I forgot to tell you because it was a really gradual transition at the time that I didn’t notice, but he has this Jesus thing going for him. Before, I didn’t think much of it but now it’s like an inherent look he should have been born with, innate? I could never imagine him looking like it but now it’s hard to imagine him looking any different.)

Anyway, beards aside. He’s getting... creepy. When we’re not drinking he just wants to postulate on death and ‘what comes after’, he’s a right fucking misery to be around. Although I haven’t seen him drink much at all, do you think he’s on drugs or something? It’s the only conclusion I can come up with, and I don’t have anyone else to ask about this because they’re all in the same scene he is.

Please reply soon.

Seb

2 June 1994

To: MissMolly

From: S.M.

Subj: -

Okay there are some things I’ve witheld for a long time because I didn’t want to cause you any unnecessary pain. As much as I know you say you’re fine it’s never a gift to hear these things but I feel it has a lot to do with how Alex is now.

After we moved to SF he started seeing this woman who I didn’t see much of myself,,  she set me on edge but I can understand how he was drawn to her because I think it was mainly a sex thing to get over you. I told yu before that he was a catastrophic mess after you left and things got better but when I say catastrophic mess I really mean it, I won’t state examples because I dont mean to make you feel guilty Molly but it’s the truth and I don’t know what to do anymore.

I didnt want to make uyo worry  because i know you;re already dealing with enough already, and i didnt want this matter in particular to be especially distressing for you. But I think alex and this woman were into heavy stuff  - not drugs but maybe that too. We went out while he was with this girl, in January, I think? it was to one of those fetish clubs, wasn’t my thing. But he left me there alone without telling me he was leaving, hhe left with the girl and didn’t even leave me  a voicemail. I got home fine, couldn’t sleep though. But then  I went over to check on him in the morning and his back was covered in gashes and blood. he didnt wake up but he was breathing. i didn’t know what to do,  i pretended i never walked in and he called me soon after to apologise for the night but i  wouldnt say anything about his back because i thought it was a bdsm thing but with the way hes acting now i dont know if he was being abused? I dont know the telltale signs, just that he’d follow this woman around like she had him on a leash.

There are still parts of him I recognise but there’s something about him which feels out of touch, like he’s not the same person but trying to be.  I dont know how to put it, maybe I’ve been away from someone who can actually talk about these problems for too long

The thing is I havent seen him with this woman in a while, since his birthday I’d say. Despite it he seems a lot happier now than when he was with her (apart from the Ricky fixation) but he’s gone full blown Byronic Bohemian.  He’s invited me out almost every day in the past week and since this was an improvement from locking himself inside, I tried to go as much as I could. Each time I’d lose him for a while because he’d gone off with a girl . He thinks he’s being discreet but I’m not much of a dancer for these places so all there’s left to do is watch. Sometimes he goes home with them and offers to pay me for a taxi, which is a step up from leaving me stranded, I’ll give him that.

I know I shouldn’t have but I looked through his art yesterday (his emergency key is in a broken light on a wall outside his door), not his stuff under the bed but in his wardrobe. There’s five entire sketchbooks of you, some of the drawings are so beautiful, he still remembers how you look exactly but in others they just seem... off? Not that they don’t look like you because they do, even if it’s a few strokes, but for someone who knows you they just look like he;s trying to put through what he is now onto you?  I don’t know. that doesnt make sense.Then there are some Ricky drawings in there too but  I don’t want to talk about them.  he writes stuff around you and Ricky, dates and places and random lines like ‘snake chokes on its own tail’ and ‘saw him around Seb’s’.  I  think he’s scared of losing parts of himself and not being able to get them back.

Please talk to him  Molly , you know his number and email . I know you think you’ll do him more harm than good but I don’t know what to say, if I point out how he’s acting weird he just resorts to deflective humour ‘it’s all part of being a la Americana now’. But I’m worried if I push it he’ll get angry. Sometimes I don’t feel safe with him and I don’t know why. Please reach him, I miss him, nothing’s right with Alex like this. I’m getting homesick because there’s nothing here that seems real anymore, everything feels like I’m watching it through a TV screen and it’s muted, or the music’s too loud to hear what people are really saying. I don’t want to leave Alex alone but I feel like I’m in a coma here.

Do you think I could stay with you for a while?

Love always,

Seb

[xhnnarchive]

mk so my abuser tried going back into my life soo heres their shit lmao

EDIT: i added the second half of the conversation bc i didnt have it before on my computer

[4/13/2017 12:15:43 AM] *** 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶 would like to add you on Skype

Ya know....We could try and be friends....I want too...-.. *** [4/17/2017 8:21:39 PM] *** CryBaby™ has shared contact details with 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶. *** [4/17/2017 8:22:28 PM] CryBaby™: no. im not possibly going through that shit again. I don't want to be fucking sexualized some when im literally ** now. im not going to fucking put up with your shit joking and telling me to calm down when I literally lose my shit [4/17/2017 8:22:42 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I'm not joking [4/17/2017 8:22:45 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Anymore [4/17/2017 8:22:50 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Happy birthday by the way [4/17/2017 8:23:08 PM] CryBaby™: you still made the rape jokes which made me freak out and panic which causes me to "crytype" [4/17/2017 8:23:21 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: And I'm sorry. [4/17/2017 8:23:23 PM] CryBaby™: I straigt up don't care for yr reason I still obviously lost my shit [4/17/2017 8:23:34 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I'm sorry. [4/17/2017 8:23:49 PM] CryBaby™: and like!!! you fucking new I was ** and ace at the time and you were still sexual towards me [4/17/2017 8:23:59 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I'm sorry. [4/17/2017 8:24:09 PM] CryBaby™: sorry don't fix sit [4/17/2017 8:24:17 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Well sorrys all i can do. [4/17/2017 8:24:24 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I don't know what else to do. [4/17/2017 8:24:27 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I want to be friends. [4/17/2017 8:24:31 PM] CryBaby™: if sorry could fix shit I would've fully forgiven my mom and been able to forgive the people who were sexual towards me if I was still in contact with them [4/17/2017 8:24:33 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I'm sorry for what i did. [4/17/2017 8:24:57 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I'm really sorry, i know it was wrong. [4/17/2017 8:25:03 PM] CryBaby™: im not being friends with the person who was sexual towards me, made rape jokes, and then proceeded to tell me to type correctly when I was freaking the fuck out [4/17/2017 8:25:12 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Then atleast talk to me [4/17/2017 8:25:25 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: We don't have to be friends but atleast speak to me [4/17/2017 8:25:35 PM] CryBaby™: id rather fucking not because hey!! I don't want to possibly get sexualized again [4/17/2017 8:25:44 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: You wont! [4/17/2017 8:25:50 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I told you I won't  do that! [4/17/2017 8:26:12 PM] CryBaby™: but what if it happens huh??? then I break the fuck down and you tell me to type correctly even tough it might get hard to fucking breathe [4/17/2017 8:26:26 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: It won't [4/17/2017 8:26:36 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: And if you break down ima help you get back up. [4/17/2017 8:26:44 PM] CryBaby™: i don't fuckin trust yur sorry sexual ass [4/17/2017 8:26:54 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Then stay for a day or two [4/17/2017 8:27:01 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: And if its sexual then you can leave [4/17/2017 8:27:05 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: But give it a chance. [4/17/2017 8:27:16 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: People change. [4/17/2017 8:27:22 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I'm sorry, and I wanna talk. [4/17/2017 8:27:34 PM] CryBaby™: im hardly even on Skype so ull hardly get a fukkin chance for me to evn respond [4/17/2017 8:27:44 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: And-? [4/17/2017 8:27:48 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I still wanna talk [4/17/2017 8:28:02 PM] CryBaby™: and i still don't want to think abt ur shitty ass and feel like shit and get mad [4/17/2017 8:28:13 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I wanna talk. [4/17/2017 8:28:46 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Just....Happy Birthday okay. ;^ i want cake now. [4/17/2017 8:29:32 PM] CryBaby™: you don't deserve cake around me' [4/17/2017 8:29:39 PM] CryBaby™: my birthday is for me to be happy [4/17/2017 8:29:43 PM] CryBaby™: not to be reminded of yur bullyshit [4/17/2017 8:29:55 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: You deserve all the cake on your birthday anyway. [4/17/2017 8:30:04 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I just want to talk. [4/17/2017 8:30:19 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: That's it. Doesn't have to be today  but someday [4/17/2017 8:30:22 PM] CryBaby™: oh wow talk talk talk conver fucking sation always makes sit better [4/17/2017 8:30:50 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I never said it makes it better. I just want to talk... [4/17/2017 8:31:09 PM] CryBaby™: and id like for my experience with you to finally be fucking over [4/17/2017 8:31:27 PM] CryBaby™: instead of sometimes getting sick to my stomach thinking about how people have been sexual to me [4/17/2017 8:32:00 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: ....I'm sorry, I know I can't take it back, but I wanna be friends...I'm sorry. [4/17/2017 8:32:19 PM] CryBaby™: i aint bein friends with the one who sexualized me and make me uncomfortable and kinda fucking scared [4/17/2017 8:32:27 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Then just talk to me [4/17/2017 8:32:39 PM] CryBaby™: id rather fucking not [4/17/2017 8:32:51 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Please....?

[4/17/2017 8:36:09 PM] CryBaby™: no ive wasted enough time giving you chances when i let you "date" me

[4/17/2017 8:37:07 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Please.... [4/17/2017 8:37:11 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I'm sorry. [4/17/2017 8:37:17 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: If I were dead wo [4/17/2017 8:37:29 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: It would've  never happened... [4/17/2017 8:37:33 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: And you'd be happy... [4/17/2017 8:37:56 PM] CryBaby™: and i wouldnt be havin to deal with ur dramatic ass bullshit [4/17/2017 8:38:15 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: It's not dramatic....it's me apologizing for wrongs. [4/17/2017 8:38:43 PM] CryBaby™: still dont care abt u tryin to apologize lmao [4/17/2017 8:39:00 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: ...I know you don't..but I'm sorry [4/17/2017 8:39:19 PM] CryBaby™: dont care be glad im even talking to ur shitty ass [4/17/2017 8:39:30 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I am glad.... [4/17/2017 8:39:55 PM] CryBaby™: idc [4/17/2017 8:40:01 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Okay... [4/17/2017 8:41:01 PM] CryBaby™: stil h8 u [4/17/2017 8:41:12 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Happy Birthday. [4/17/2017 8:41:32 PM] CryBaby™: how about you give me the gift of finally leavinh me the fuck alone [4/17/2017 8:41:51 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: I don't have enough money for that [4/17/2017 8:42:22 PM] CryBaby™: but you have enough money to not fucking talk to me [4/17/2017 8:42:30 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Not really. [4/17/2017 8:42:45 PM] CryBaby™: Actually yeah you can just stop fucking [4/17/2017 8:42:51 PM] CryBaby™: typig and leave ne alone [4/17/2017 8:42:57 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Happy Birthday. [4/17/2017 8:43:03 PM] CryBaby™: fuck off [4/17/2017 8:43:12 PM] 🎶 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing TubeMan 🎶: Okay... [4/17/2017 8:57:41 PM] CryBaby™: id rather get sick than get reminded about our semi abusive "relationship" [4/17/2017 8:59:53 PM] CryBaby™: you fucking talking to me reminds me how shit you were so FUCK OFF I DONT WANT TO REMEMBER THIS BULLSHIT