#didn't want the post to show up in the spoilers tag but i thought the blacklist caught it
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fictionadventurer · 2 years ago
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People will often say, 'If you could be with Lincoln for dinner, what would you want to ask him? What would be the unanswered question?' And I know I should be asking him, 'OK, suppose you had not been killed, how would you have dealt with the South? How would you have dealt with Reconstruction and all the controversies that arose?' But I know that if I really had him for dinner one night, I would simply ask him, 'Tell me a story, Mr. Lincoln.' Because then I would see him coming alive. He laughed so hard when he told one of his funny stories, his eyes would twinkle. And then I'd know that the Lincoln I knew -- who was somehow able in the worst days of the war to dispel the anxiety of his Cabinet members by his humor and his life-affirming sense of storytelling -- then I’d know I would have seen him alive.
-Doris Kearns Goodwin, Presidential Episode 16
This was where I had to stop the Lincoln episode at the end of my commute, and as I pulled into the parking lot I said to myself, "Wow, that's lovely." A little schmaltzy, perhaps, but I think it gets to the core of why people study history. Sure, there's the intellectual impulse to analyze and understand events with the benefit of hindsight, but deep down, the heart of historical study is a desire to connect with people. To bridge the gulf of time and space and get to know people despite the fact that they lived in a completely different century.
History's not just dry lists of dates and names and theories. It's people. It's personalities. It's quirks and memories and stories. It's knowing that a historical figure isn't just a face on a monument, or a source of information, but a guy who can tell really funny stories. And I wanted to share this quote because it really understands the humanity of history in a way I rarely see expressed.
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dykethevvitch · 4 months ago
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just finished book of bill and i wanna smash in the head of billford shippers a little bit. i think if you unironically ship billford you have to give every gf fan who's survived abused $100 and an essay on how bill is a textbook abuser
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biancadavri · 1 month ago
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The spoiler tag doesn't get recognized if you add - at the end
OH SHIT I'm sorry for that 😭😭 fixed the tags & I'll keep it in mind
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xxchumanixx · 2 months ago
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Glimpses
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Bucky Barnes x reader
Warnings/Tags: fluff, angst, Bucky (yes, he's a warning), reader has the ability to show other people images in their head (does that make sense?), otherwise not described, spoilers for fatws
Word count: tba
Authors note: To be honest, I've been working on this for months, bit by bit. I didn't have much time to write or post something lately, and somehow, the motivation went with it. But I love this man to no end, and I had to finish this (for my sake, too). Im not a hundred percent happy with it, but we're just gonna roll with it.
I hope you enjoy it.
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It gnawed at you, gripping you with a hand made of iron, it's icy fingers sending chills down your spine.
How could she do this to you?
Someone you once envied for being related to Peggy Carter, one of the founders of SHIELD, maybe one of the coolest persons to have ever existed.
Now, you couldn't help but pity Sharon Carter.
Sam nudged your foot with his, ripping you out of your thoughts. "What's up with you?" he wanted to know, brows furrowed.
Blinking at him, you tried to grasp what he was talking about, before shaking your head with a sigh.
"When Sharon was pardoned, I heard her say something I don't know what to think of..." you mumbled, biting your cheek. Sam rose a brow in return, Bucky's furrowing.
You were sitting in a private jet, a small table in front of you, with Sam sitting diagonally to your right and Bucky to your left.
"When she came out, she dialed someone, saying something about super soldiers being off the menu, weapons and 'should be something for everyone'." you recited what you had heard her say.
You had been there to congratulate her, welcome her back. But, when she stepped out the building, immediately dialing someone, you hid back in the crowd, carefully listening.
Yeah, eavesdropping wasn't nice, but something urged you to do it.
And you had been right.
"Nah," Sam made, shaking his head with a chuckle. "You must have misheard her."
Licking your lip, you shook your own head. "No, I know what I've heard."
Sam's brows furrowed, eyes trained on you. "Y/N, I'm sure you just misheard her." he repeated his words softer.
Eyes widening, your mouth was agape. "Sam-" you started, but he cut you off. "No, Y/N-" "Sam!" with a yell of his name and a slam of your hand on the table, you locked eyes, letting your power whir to life.
You could see your own eyes change color in his iris, energy flowing through you, as you forced him to see what you've seen.
Sharon left the building with a smile on her face, radiating confidence. Pulling out her phone she dialed a number, slowly walking further down the steps.
"Start lining up our buyers." she spoke into the phone, seemingly not caring enough to watch her surroundings for anyone listening. "Super Soldiers might be off the menu, but we're about to have full access to government secrets, prototype weapons, you name it. Should be something for everyone."
With that, she left, leaving you speechless.
With a gasp, you let go of Sam's mind, rapidly blinking to get the dry feeling out of your eyes.
Sam stared onto the table, swallowing. His hands trembled slightly, whilst Bucky grew impatient.
"Can I see?" he wanted to know, eagerly leaning forward in his seat. It made you chuckle, despite the dread in your stomach.
Letting Bucky enter your mind, was something different.
You weren't able to control your powers a hundred percent, which would be a risk, when letting someone in. There could be emotions or flashes of memories that could seep through, something you didn't want.
Especially not with him.
You had been in love with him for a while now, but never dared to make a move on it. Not, when he was so far out of your league.
Swallowing, you nodded hesitantly.
Locking eyes with Bucky's blue ones, you let your power come to life again, heart pounding faster.
You showed him the same thing you showed Sam, trying your hardest to concentrate only on the memory of Sharon, nothing else.
Slipping back out of it, you blinked rapidly, whilst Bucky sat frozen in his chair.
Shaking your head, you felt it deep in your chest, slowly making its way up - luckily for you, you had cut the connection already.
It was a memory you cherished deep in your heart, one of your favorites. It was Bucky, smiling happily.
Most of the time his smile didn't reach his eyes, not like it should have. He wasn't as carefree, at least not until he teamed up with Sam.
He was lying on the sofa in Sarah's house, Sam's sister. The kids had been playing with the shield, whilst Bucky was still sleeping on the couch.
You had been sitting at the small coffee table, able to see him, but he wouldn't see you at first glance.
When he woke up, softly calling out to the kids with a smile and a peace, they panicked, putting the shield back into its bag.
It had you smiling into your mug, quietly chuckling, as you sipped your coffee.
His smile was real, beautiful and rare. His eyes sparkled with joy, sunlight catching in them, highlighting the blue of his iris, as he leaned back into the cushions.
It showed the Bucky he was back in the forties, slowly peeling away layer after layer of his hardened shell.
Closing your eyes, you willed the memory away, slowly shaking your head, to get rid of it.
When your eyes opened again, looking back up at Bucky and Sam, Bucky's eyes were glued to your face.
His brows were furrowed, deep in thought. His mouth opened the slightest bit, but it closed again, like a fish.
Your own eyes widened the slightest bit, belly churning, as you realized.
The faint line connecting your minds - it was still there.
Your breathing fastened, fist clenching, as you looked at Sam, trying to come up with something to pull him into a conversation - but your mind was as blank as a wall.
Seriously, now you were able to think of nothing?
Your hands began to sweat, as you tried your hardest not to burst into tears. It was exactly what you had feared to happen, not being able to control it.
Mostly the reason you never really let Bucky enter your mind, fearing what he might find.
"Do you think-" Sam started, but cut himself off with a shake of his head. "That she's the power broker?" you returned, eager to flee into this conversation, but it was over just as fast as it had begun. "Yeah."
Bucky didn't say anything, eyes fixed on his hands that were seated in his lap.
Sam sighed, one hand swiping over his face. He was tired, you could tell. Being the new Captain America wasn't easy.
"Excuse me." you mumbled, standing up, before heading out of the room and towards the bathroom, where you locked yourself in.
You choked on a breath, fighting the tears, but soon losing. How could you be so careless? You should have known it wouldn't end well, letting him enter your mind.
But it would have been suspicious not to show him, either.
You could only hope you'd get out of this unscathed.
_____
Sam cleared his throat in discomfort, fist clenching on the table.
If he hadn't known your memories were true, he would have brushed it off with a laugh. He'd worked with Sharon before, and she never seemed like someone who would turn on her own people.
How long, til she would turn on them?
Eyes lifting, they met the side of Bucky's face. He was quiet, more than usual.
"How can she do this to us, after all we went through?" Sam asked in a mumble, ripping Bucky from his thoughts with a "Huh?".
Brows furrowing, Sam tried to analyze the man he didn't want to call friend, even though he'd become exactly that over the past few weeks.
"What's up with you?" he asked, frown deepening. Sure, Bucky had his moments where his thoughts drifted off, but not like this.
Not when you just basically fled a minute ago.
Bucky shook his head, trying to clear his mind. "I don't know." he gave back, forehead wrinkling in thought.
Hell, if he could only make sense of what he'd seen.
"What happened?" Sam dug deeper, having noticed how long you two had been silent when showing him what you'd seen.
It took longer than he thought needed to.
Bucky wiped over his face.
It was like he switched bodies with you when that memory of yours slipped through. He could feel everything.
Every little emotion.
"I-" Bucky was searching for the right words as he suddenly stood. "Excuse me."
He followed into the direction you'd taken off to, causing Sam to frown even more.
He stopped in front of the bathroom door, softly knocking before the courage could have left him.
"Y/N?" he called out, heart beating unsteady. "Can we please talk?"
You flinched, perched on the toilet seat as you desperately wiped at your face. "Why?" you called out, giving your very best to sound neutral.
You could hear him hesitate, the little sounds that left his mouth that he himself didn't even notice. "Please?" he then just asked, fingers drumming on the door.
You hesitated as well, not sure if you should open the door to face your imminent death of shame.
With a heavy sigh you got up, though, shaky fingers fumbling for the lock, taking a moment longer to unlock it before it was pushed open by Bucky merging into the small bathroom, cramping the space even more.
You stumbled back, colliding with the sink.
"What was that?" Bucky wanted to know, eyes on yours, searching them for anything that gave him an answer. "What?" you gave back, deciding to act dumb.
Maybe he wouldn't notice.
Of course he would, you idiot.
His brows furrowed, a look of confusion and bewilderment crossing his features. "You know exactly what I mean, don't play dumb now, Y/N!" he shot back, not amused.
See?
Told you so.
You swallowed the lump that somehow didn't want to budge, blocking your airways. "I- I don't know." you stuttered out, mentally cursing yourself for being so reckless to let him enter your mind in the first place.
Bucky frowned even more, not sure whether to believe you or not. After all he had felt it, not sure if he really wanted to know, though.
He didn't dare to hope.
You inhaled shakily, trying to force your heart rate down, to calm yourself a little.
Easier said than done.
"Are you sure you don't know?" Bucky pressed, voice tinged with something you couldn't place. "Because I'm sure I didn't imagine what I've seen or felt."
You flinched at that.
He knew, he knew for fucks sake, and there was no way you could have made him believe that it was nothing.
To be fair, you wouldn't have believed yourself, either.
No one would feel immense happiness, content, and warmth just because of a person they saw as a friend.
Come on.
You swallowed, averting your gaze. There was no backing out now, not when Bucky literally blocked the exit with his presence and muscular body.
"You- you felt it." you mumbled, biting your cheek as your cheeks warmed up slightly, gaze glued to the floor.
Bucky huffed, searching for words for a moment. How was he to explain what he felt?
"It- it was like I was back in the forties." he began, licking his lips. "I felt content, happy. And then I saw this... this memory of yours from me. I didn't know you were there, I didn't see you. What does this mean?"
He sounded desperate, and you didn't know whether it was because he didn't want your feelings for him or if it was the exact opposite.
Your name fell from his parted lips when you didn't answer, and had you looked up into his cerulean eyes, you'd seen the desperation, too.
"I can't tell you." you eventually mumbled, biting your cheek raw. "What? Why?" Bucky gave back, eyes widening before he frowned. "Y/N, what does this mean? Please, tell me!"
You looked up at him, your own brows furrowed in a frown.
Why did he want to know so badly?
"You know what it means." you gave back, doing your best not to avoid his gaze this time. His lips parted a fraction before he shook his head. "No." he said. "I want you to say it."
You heart stumbled once more, threatening to burst from the pace it was going at.
Did he want to have something to laugh about? Did he want to make a fool of you?
Swallowing, you shook your head. "No." you breathed out. "I can't."
His gaze hardened slightly, blue irises growing darker. "Say it." he repeated himself, not going to back down.
He'd rather go back to HYDRA than let this opportunity, this chance pass.
Your eyes widened, and you shook your head again. But before you had the chance to decline once more, he said it again, this time louder. "Say it!"
"I have feelings for you!" you blurted out loudly, his agitation causing you to crack and slip up.
Suddenly, the room grew eerily silent, the ringing in your ears blocking out his harsh breathing. His heart was racing way too fast for a man his age, and he forgot how to breathe for a moment.
He had hoped to hear these words, after all they were the only logical explanation, yet he was speechless. Didn't know how to react.
It's never like it is in your dreams.
Especially not when a dream suddenly comes true.
You shrinked back mentally and physically, his lack of response unsettling. It made you more nervous than you already were, hands sweating as you desperately tried to keep your shit together.
Why didn't he say anything?
When you wanted to push past him, and out of the small bathroom, his metal hand wrapped around your wrist. Your sudden movement had broken him out of his stupor, and he simply couldn't just let you go.
Before you knew it, he had tugged you back in front of him, his lips pressing against yours in a searing kiss.
It wasn't gentle, it was hard and rushed, as he tried to somehow tell you what his vocal cords weren't able to at the moment.
You gasped for air, not prepared for being hauled back and kissed breathless like that.
Bucky greedily took the invitation that wasn't one, his tongue pushing inside your mouth, exploring it before it tangled with yours. Your arms wrapped around his neck, his own around your waist as he tugged you closer.
You tasted sweeter than anything he'd ever tasted in his life.
Gasping for breath he let go of your mouth, eyes closed as he leaned his forehead against yours.
"Don't go." he breathed out shakily, arms wrapping tighter around you like he was scared you'd suddenly vanish if he let go. "Please. There's so much I need to tell you. So please, don't go. I need you, Y/N."
You watched his lashes flutter as he inhaled shakily before his eyes opened. His words had your heart beating faster again, leaving you wanting more.
"What? B-Bucky-" you started, confused because you were so sure he'd reject you.
"No." he cut you off, holding your face in his hands. "I love you."
There it was, out in the open. His most vulnerable moment since HYDRA and he delved into it headfirst. "You have no clue how much I love you, how much these words and these... glimpses mean to me, doll."
You inhaled shakily, every emotion rushing through you at once.
"I just never thought you'd feel the same, deem me worthy of someone as angelic as you."
Your heart ached at his self-deprecating words.
"Bucky," you breathed out his name, shaking your head in his grip. "You're far more worthy than you think you are. You deserve everything good and more."
He grimaced slightly, still not used to being a normal human again. "That's an argument for another time." he said, sending you a crooked smile.
He didn't want to fight right now, not when he much rather wanted to pepper your skin with kisses. And that he did. He kissed everywhere he reached, ignoring your giggles of protest before his lips met yours, silencing you.
It was a feeling that quickly got you addicted.
After a few moments, you broke the kiss, and he placed your head on his chest, inahling your familiar scent.
"Was it intenional?" Bucky wanted to know after a few moments of savoring your warmth, arms circled around you.
It felt really good to hold you like that.
You grimaced slightly. "No, of course not." you gave back. "I can't always control it. Besides, I never thought you'd want me."
"Why?" he asked, confusion lacing his voice as he pulled back slightly to look down at you. "Because I'm weird." you explained, blushing as you averted your gaze. Bucky huffed, using his finger to tilt your chin back up, forcing you to meet his gaze. "Baby, weird is my second name." he gave back softly. "Maybe I need a little extra weird."
You wanted to respond something, how you would love to be his extra portion weird, as it suddenly knocked on the door loudly.
"Hurry up, I need to pee!"
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Tag List:
@ava @sapphirebarnes @skywalker0809 @freyathehuntress @queenslandlover-93 @judig92
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cheapshrimpysheep · 4 months ago
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I'm Sorry I Left You Behind
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SUMMARY: The Bead Brawl tournament ends and Leona, Kalim, Vil and Lilia run away leaving you, Grim and Jack behind. Later, they will realize that they hurt you by doing this to you and will apologize to you.
CHARACTERS: Kalim Al-Asim; Vil Schoenheit; Lilia Vanrouge
TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Comfort
WARNING: Spoilers from Cloudcalling on the Savanna (Sunset Savanna's Tamashina-Mina) and its respective cards.
WORD COUNT: An average of 640 words per character.
COMMENTS: At first, I was going to write scenarios for all the event cards, but as Leona's was so personal, it ended up inspiring me to write a lot. So I decided to let him have his solo post:
There's a Calm Surrender (Leona Kingscholar x Reader)
By the way, I was undecided whether to use the name Neji or Kifaji, so I used both. 😅
I hope you enjoy. 😘
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CONTEXT: To escape from Cheka, Neji(Kifaji) and the palace guards who were with them, Leona rushed to the car to drive back to the hotel. Vil, Kalim and Lilia went with him. And you, Grim and Jack were left behind in the rain.
I mean, Leona wanted to escape and the car didn't have seats for everyone but... still... it made you a little sad. At least you had Jack who never left your side. Eventually, Cheka and Neji(Kifaji) reached you, after Leona and the others had already fled. Of course the first thing Neji(Kifaji) did was apologize for Leona's rudeness and offer to take you back to the hotel.
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When you arrived at the hotel, you went to your room with the intention of showering and changing your clothes. But before you can do that, someone knocks on your door.
“[Y/N]! You won't believe the ride we took with Leona.” Kalim tells you, enthusiastically. “It was amazing! I’ve never been in a car that shook that hard! It was so heart-pounding...” He stops himself when he actually looks at you. “Ho! [Y/N] You're soaking wet! What-?” and then he remembers “HA! We left you behind in the rain! I'm so sorry! Do you need anything? I can go ask for more towels for you.”
You say it's not necessary, that you're fine, you just need to take a shower and change your clothes.
“I'm glad. Let me know when you're done, okay? I really want to tell you about the ride... And made up for leaving without you.”
You shower, put on your pajamas, and text Kalim that you’re ready. But then, seeing Grim sleeping and remembering that Kalim can talk loudly without realizing it, you send him another message asking if you could be the one to go to his room instead, so you can be more comfortable talking without worrying about waking Grim up. He says it is a great idea and that you're welcome in his room anytime. Plus: “But come quickly. I really want to talk and be with you.”
SUNSET VILLA - KALIM'S ROOM
Kalim opens the door for you. It shouldn't be a surprise to discover that he had a much fancier and more luxurious room than yours. He closes the door and takes both of your hands to take you with him to sit on the bed.
“I have lots of snacks, you can eat whatever you want.” he tells you with a smile and pointing to a large basket full of traditional snacks.
He excitedly tells you how crazy and fun the ride with Leona was. And about when Jamil finally found him. You wanted to be happy that he had so much fun, but you couldn't shake the thought that while all that was happening you had been left behind in the rain, as if it would be easy for them to forget about you. And it showed on your face.
“Hmm? What’s wrong? Don't you like the taste?” He asks as you were eating one of the snacks. “You can always leave it aside and choose another one, no problem.”
You say that's not it and your expression becomes sadder as you wonder if you should tell him what you were really thinking.
“Well, I can see you're sad. Can you tell me what's going on. Nothing would make me happier than seeing a smile back on your face.” He smiles innocently.
You decide to tell him and say how abandoned and forgotten you felt.
“Oh no! I'm so sorry for doing this to you! We didn't want to abandon you and we didn't forget you. Well... I mean... I think technically with all the adrenaline we forget... But it wasn't out of spite! We just...” he sighs “No, there is no excuse. We did you wrong. I should have stayed with you.” There is a short pause. “I know a hug isn't enough to fix things, but can I give you one?”
You let him and he wraps his arms around you. It's very comforting, you feel a strong but gentle hug, that meanwhile loosens without releasing you.
“Can you forgive me?” He asks in a soft and sad voice, close to your ear, still hugging you. “I promise I won't do it again. I’ll never leave you again.”
You gently ask about what he just said. He breaks the hug calmly to look at you, still with his hands on your arms.
“I really like you. I feel really bad knowing that I hurt you. I don't want to do that again. I want to see you happy and smiling and I want to share all the good and fun moments I have with you. So I will never leave you behind again. It's a promise!”
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When you arrived at the hotel, you went to your room to shower and change your clothes, but before you enter the bathroom, you receive a message. It's from Vil.
“I heard that you have already arrived. I would like to talk with you. Take a shower and let me know when you're dressed.” You reply to him to confirm that you saw the message, and shortly he replies to you: “I stopped by your room earlier and left the soap soap packed with hot spring minerals I bought in your bathroom for you to use this. But it's just this once, then I'll take it back with me. So enjoy it, but don't spend too much.”
You do so. You not only feel more comfy but more relaxed. You put on your pajamas and text Vil that you're ready.
“Grim is sleeping, isn't he? I'd like to talk without worrying about waking him up. Could you come to my room?” You say that you can and that you are going there now. “Thank you, [Y/N]. I'll try not to steal too much of your rest time.”
SUNSET VILLA - VIL'S ROOM
You knock on Vil's room door saying it's you, and you hear his voice giving you permission to enter. You enter and see him sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard with his legs stretched out on the bed and a bandage on one of his ankles with a bag of ice on top.
“There is no need to worry.” Vil tells you. “Personally, I think they are exaggerating a bit, but it wouldn’t be wise of me to refuse treatment.”
You close the door behind you and go to sit next to him on the bed. You look at his ankle again and sees that it and his foot are very swollen. You ask if it's really the doctors who are exaggerating or he who doesn't want to make a big deal of it.
He sighs. “Very well. I may have gone too far in hiding my injury and making it worse during the tournament. But now everything is under control. So please don't worry, okay?” He smiles to reassure you. “It is another subject I wanted to talk to you about.”
“And what is it?” You ask.
“I am sorry.” Vil’s words and look say.
“For what?”
“For leaving you behind and in the rain. I know it was Leona who ran away and left his guests behind, but I was one of those who went after him and got into the car. Which is equally rude and inelegant. You supported us the whole time and did what you could to help us and not be a burden and we treated you like one in the end, and for that I am deeply sorry. Did you arrive well at the hotel? Any symptoms of a cold?”
You answer no, that you arrived well, Neji(Kifaji) took it upon himself to guarantee that.
“I see. I must thank him, and apologize as well.” He smells the air. “Ah, you used the soap I left for you.” And you apologize for forgetting to bring it back. “It's okay. You can return it to me tomorrow. I can see that it's really good, the skin on your face looks beautifully healthy.” You smile thanking him. “You know, come to think of it, you can keep the soap. That skin matches that smile very well.” He smiles, and then laughs when he sees how flattered you got. “You should go back to bed now. It would be a shame to ruin the effects of your bath with a short night's rest.”
You agree and get up, but before leaving you notice his foot again and ask if he would like you to help him lie down.
“I told you you didn't need to worry. But thank you, I'll be fine.”
How silly, he was right. You rephrase the sentence: You WILL help him lie down.
“[Y/N], I already told you-” But you pretend you're not listening, and hold the bag of ice with one hand and his foot in the other. You look at him as a sign that he can settle in bed now. He sighs as he does so. “You are so stubborn. It's almost charming.”
“Almost?”
He laughs softly. “Stubbornness isn't charming most of the time, but... I think you can make it quite cute.”
You thank him for the compliment, and feeling bold, you lean in and kiss his forehead. “Good night, Vil.” As you start to straighten up, you feel a hand on your arm pulling you back. And he kisses your cheek.
“Good night, [Y/N].” he whispers with a smile. “And thank you.”
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You arrive at the hotel and go to your room. You take a shower, put on your pajamas and when you're about to go to bed, you hear a light knock on the door. Grim groans and turns over, but doesn't wake up. You get closer to the door to ask who it is, but before you do it, you get your answer.
“It's the cute old me.” you hear Lilia's voice on the other side. You open the door. “Hi [Y/N]. Sorry to interrupt your rest, but I wanted to tell you something.” He says quietly. He leans to the side to see Grim sleeping behind you. “But maybe we should do it somewhere else. I don't want to wake Grim... again. In my room perhaps? I have some snacks.” he smiles invitingly.
SUNSET VILLA - LILIA'S ROOM
The two of you enter Lilia's room and he immediately grabs a bag full of snacks. He sits on the bed and invites you to sit next to him, with the bag between you.
“You can take whatever you want if you are hungry.” He says. You take one and it continues. “You didn't catch a cold, did you?”
You seem a little confused at first, but then you realize what he's referring to. You say no, and that you immediately took a hot bath when you arrived, but regardless of whether you tried to hide it or not, Lilia would immediately realize that you were sad about what happened.
“My deepest apologies.” he says regretfully. “I knew you wouldn't be in danger. You were with Jack and Neji(Kifaji) and the royal guards were sure to bring you back to the hotel safe and sound. That's how I usually see things at first. But... I didn't think about how that act could be interpreted. Running away for fun leaving you behind in the rain. Sounds like abandonment, doesn't it?”
You look away, with a sad expression that confirms what he said.
“That's why I wanted to talk to you. That was absolutely not my intention. I am quite knowledgeable about whether or not someone is at risk physically, but it seems like I'm still learning to understand the same emotionally. After all, what is no big deal for one person can be a very cruel act for another. I'm not saying you're too sensitive, but I think it depends on how much you like the person committing the act, right?”
He holds both your hands in his. “Your heart is your most wonderful quality. And as someone it can love, I should protect it better and not taking it for granted.” He kisses the back of your hands. “Could you forgive me for my mistake?”
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If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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certaimromance · 5 months ago
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𝜗𝜚 So Long, Quantico.
Prison Reid x Fem!reader
Read part two here!
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Summary: Your best friend asks you for a favor and you must defend the innocence of the man you were in love with, the same man for whom you left the FBI and moved to another country years ago.
Words: 1,6k.
Warnings & Tags: mentions of murder, trauma, death, jail. angst without happy ending. miscommunication. right person, wrong time. reid's time in jail. spoilers for season 13 and all the ones before that. english is not my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).
Note: First of all I want to thank you for all the support in my first post because the truth is that I didn't expect (if you haven't read it yet, I already have my masterlist). I still can't believe I reached 1000 notes, it makes me very happy.
And secondly, I apologize in advance for this, but I love drama and being a little cliche sometimes. I promise to write a nice, comfortable, less dramatic Spencer story in the future (I hope so) but ttpd is my everything lately.
♡ Enjoy! ♡
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The constant pounding of your right leg against the table was beginning to make you desperate and to dwarf the room. You didn't know what to do to stop and think for a few seconds, you had even lost count of all the times you had tried to fix your already perfect and ironed clothes that you had spent hours choosing and modeling in front of your hotel mirror.
It felt like hours had passed since you arrived at the prison, though it was probably only a few minutes. Part of you wanted to run out of there and avoid a dangerous reunion at all costs. The other part was anchored to the chair and would not move until you found a way to get Spencer out of there and fulfill the favor Emily had asked of you.
You couldn't let your best friend down, especially when her job could be in jeopardy if Reid was still in prison. You wanted to make sure she was okay, and repay her for all the favors she had done for you during the years you had lived together in London. Without her, you probably would not have survived or become the successful and respected lawyer you were now. She helped you heal when you needed it, now it was your turn to help.
Before you could think, grab your things and maybe even leave the room to catch your breath, a guard abruptly opened the door. Your eyes immediately fell on the handcuffed man the guard had practically thrown into the chair in front of you.
You blinked several times, trying to process that you were actually standing in front of him. He looked so different from the way you remembered him from the occasional picture Prentiss showed you. The years hadn't gone by for nothing, you knew that, but Spencer looked like someone else. It was more than the messy hair, the beard, or the numerous bruises on his face that made you wince. It was that his eyes no longer sparkled, and he himself looked dull.
The guard came out after warning them that they only had fifteen minutes, and the cameras pointed directly at you two.
“Hey.” That was all you could say, biting your inner cheek at how stupid it sounded.
At first he didn't react and hardly seemed to breathe. His expression was like seeing a ghost, and you couldn't blame him after so many years of not hearing from you. You knew you looked different from the last time you saw each other because you had tried too hard to look like someone else. You wore your hair shorter and a different color, even the way you dressed was other. You looked more serious and grown up.
“What are you doing here?” He asked dryly after scanning you with his eyes for a few seconds.
You froze when you heard him speak and his voice, once music to your ears, was like a kick in the stomach.
“I came to help. I thought Emily told you...”
“She told me that she wanted to call you but I told her not to.” Spencer cut you off before you could continue speaking. “That you weren't going to help me.”
You frowned as your brain processed those words.
“Why not? You...you are my friend.” You said, trying to hide the tremor in your voice.
He clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes, trying to look away from you because it hurt. You could feel the tension multiply, making it almost impossible to breathe in the small room.
“Friends don't stop talking for six years and pretend the other doesn't exist.”
Oh, that had hurt.
It was true that you had disappeared from his life six years ago, and you had not made the slightest effort to return, even leaving the country with the excuse of looking for a better future. But you had your hidden reasons, you wanted to forget Spencer Reid and your intensely ridiculous and unrequited love.
From the first time you heard him talk about statistics and smile at you like a child, realizing that you listened to him like no one else, you fell madly in love with him for years. Always hoping that one day he would stop thinking of you as his friend and realize how much he deserved to be loved and that you would be happy to do so, that you could give him the whole world without hesitation if he asked you to.
At first you thought he wasn't that interested in love, that he was too smart and focused to lose his mind like you did for him. However, then you saw him several times interested and pining for other girls: the movie actress, JJ, the girl at the bar and Maeve...she was very different and painful for you.
You couldn't stand his strong love for her, at least not being so close to him and having to play the role of the best friend who always listened to him repeat how wonderful she was. Knowing that he could fall in love with someone he didn't even know personally instead of you, whom he saw every day and had known for years, changed you and made you run away to save your heart.
You got a new job far from the United States, thanks to Agent Hotchner and his glowing letter of recommendation. And so you went back to being an ordinary lawyer, no longer chasing serial killers or a boy genius who never loved you as you would have liked.
“Spence, I...” You tried to speak softly, almost having the urge to take his hand to make the situation better, but you didn't. “I'm sorry.”
He was obviously tense, he wouldn't even look you in the eye and you could swear his eyes were a little crystallized. He barely glanced at you for a second before speaking again.
“You don't have to say it if it's not true.”
“It's true.”
You stopped yourself for a second, sighing and centering yourself again.
“But I'm here for the case, to help you with that...and I'm sorry for everything that happened to you.” You said more calmly and with an almost sweet tone.
You both knew it was more than just the prison issue and the current situation. It was a sorry for Maeve's death, Alex, Morgan and Hotch's resignation, his mother's problems, Cat's damn appearance, and most of all for not being there to support him in all.
“You should have called and said so.” He finally responded after letting out a snort and tensing his jaw more.
“Yeah...I should have.” You admitted, shifting uncomfortably in your seat.
You thought silence would take over the room again, but instead he spoke again.
“You can go now.”
“I'm not going anywhere unless you're free.” You pointed out with determination.
“You don't have a problem with go before.” He said in the same indifferent tone that was beginning to irritate you.
You should have frozen, kept quiet and focused on the case to get him out of there. But you couldn't do that and act professional when your insides were burning with the memory of the past.
“Don't give me that, you know why I did.” You blurt out, frowning and instinctively pushing the chair away from the table that separates you from him.
“You never said anything to me.” He replied, running a hand through his hair in frustration before speaking again. “You just disappeared like everyone else I've ever loved because you got bored with me.”
“You know I left for the opposite reason, because I...” You tried to say, but your voice cracked and your hands shook in an awkward attempt to touch his. “I loved you the way that you were and...”
The sudden sound of the door opening made you gasp and immediately shut up. The presence of a grim-faced guard made you realize it was all over, and you pulled your hand away from Spencer's again.
“Time's up.” The guard reported and you signaled him to have at least more minutes.
Fortunately, the guard nodded and gave you only five more minutes. You looked at your client again, trying to get into the professional role and discuss his case, but he seemed to be in another world after your half sentences.
There was no room in Reid's mind for your words, after feeling guilty for so long for not doing enough to be a good friend to you, for scaring you away with his problems, for not being one you wanted to keep over time and return his calls. But now, did you really say what you thought? Did you really love and care for him?
Everything was tearing his word apart in that moment.
“You won't have to see me if you don't want to, but I'll get you out of here soon, Spencer. I swear.” You promised and you could see in his face the surprise at your honest tone.
Maybe he expected a different attitude from you, maybe he thought you were still so obsessed with him that you would insist on seeing him and kill yourself to make him laugh again. But you had matured, or so you thought. You were no longer the young woman who hugged him every time he felt far away and was content to be the one who was left over. Now, you were the brave woman who left the ship before it sank completely.
As you watched the guard check the handcuffs and lift Spencer out of the seat to take him away, something inside you reacted. You called out his name before you could react and quickly had his desperate eyes on you.
“You don't have to worry about the past...I'm over you.” You said confidently before nodding goodbye and walking out with one less burden.
He remained anchored to the ground, trying to process your words with his racing mind as he watched you leave him again.
You...you had been in love with him?
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parfaitblogs · 5 months ago
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loml ❀ s. reid x reader
in which even six years apart isn’t too much time for spencer to come see you.
pairing: ex!spencer reid x fem!reader genre: angst/comfort sort of tags: that freaky shit (soul crushing angst). a lot of nothing. approximately the time morgan left the bau (it's mentioned). spoilers for 5x9 (‘100’) if you haven't watched it yet... fade to black.  word count: 1.2k a/n: heyyyy… enjoy my the contents of my sad brain lol. this can kinda be a waiting room pt. 2 if you squint. i’m super sick right now so here’s a draft i wasn’t going to post until august (although it’s july 31 so is it technically august?) because i have no energy to write rn. whoops. enjoyy
Your mother once told you she doesn't think you can be just friends with some people. 
They're either there to be in your life forever, souls so deeply woven together that you have to be more than friends. Or they're fleeting, and your lives will line up for a short enough period of time that they'll impact you, and then you'll never see them again. 
You wished Spencer Reid was the latter.
Not at first. No, at first he was the man you were going to marry. You were certain of it. Discussing your wedding with your friends because it was going to happen, and you were picturing him at the altar. You had fantasised what was supposed to be the happiest day of your life so many times, dedicating so many hours to the concept of it, that when you lost it, you mourned the loss of it as much as you mourned the relationship. 
But Spencer Reid was the former. Unfortunately so. Losing so many years to a man you didn't even speak to anymore, because you just can't get over it. Can't get over how you could give someone so much of you, and they will still throw it all away for a narrative they've made up in their mind. Can't get over the narrative he made up of you. 
It was justifiable, you supposed. His boss had just lost his (ex) wife because of the job. It was tough for everyone on the team. You didn't think it was so bad he would freak out as much as he did, though. 
Because in his mind you were next. He was going to lose you as well. And even that stupidly large brain of his couldn't see how ridiculous that sounded. He refused to listen to you when all he could hear was the screaming in his head of you being next, and the statistics of female abductions. Statistics that were no different between the day before the incident, and the day he broke up with you. They were just louder to him.
An achingly long amount of time had passed from the last time you spoke to him. A pathetic meeting you had requested two months after the breakup, because your life was falling apart and maybe seeing him would make it better.
It didn't. 
You wondered if you'd still be shedding tears over him if you hadn't met him that night.
You heard your name, and so your head lifted from your lap. Right, you thought, bitterly. He was here. In your apartment. The same one he used to sleep at, for days on end.
You knew triggers like the back of your hand. They were usually things that made sense. Loud noises, blood, anniversaries. Could you justify your trigger being a whole person? 
You hadn't known he was a trigger until that evening, when he had showed up at your apartment door with a bouquet of flowers that you didn't really want, and an insultingly pretty smile. You had broken down, right there in your doorway, crumpling to the floor in a hyperventilating, miserable heap. 
He had held you, and frustratingly so, it helped. He didn't speak when he had done it, until you were calmer and were muttering apologies to him, embarrassment replacing the upset. 
At which he shushed you. You listened. 
"Why are you here?" you broke the silence that followed his calling of your name, voice shaky.
He exhaled audibly. "I wanted to see you."
"No, Spencer," you sniffled. "You don't get to come over with flowers just because you wanted to see me. Why are you here?"
He fell silent, and you wished you could crawl into his brain to see what he was thinking. You presumed a million things. 
"Morgan left," he said, quietly, and you felt your mouth go dry. 
"Oh."
Then; your eyebrows furrowed. Because did he really have no one to go to? You stared back at him for a few seconds, and for a moment, you let yourself forget about the weight between you two. Staring into his eyes was an easy way to forget that, apparently. It was comforting for you, but perhaps uncomfortable for him. 
Because he cleared his throat, and adjusted his position on the couch. "I didn't know where to go. And you said if I needed anything, you would be there and—"
"—People say that as a courtesy, Spencer," you breathed out.
"I know," he said, quickly. "But I really needed someone, and I genuinely didn't know where else to go."
You couldn't slam the door in his face even if you wanted to. Because now you were registering more than just your own emotions. The red rimming his eyes, the dusting of pink on his nose and above his lips. 
So, you nodded your head. "Okay. Come here," you said, opening your arms, and took him in between them. Albeit hesitantly. On both ends. 
This time he broke down, and you let him. His face pressed into the crook of your neck, your fingers entangled in his curls, scratching at his scalp in the best soothing motion you could. 
He cried until he had dehydrated his body, and your arms had begun to cramp from the position they were in. When he pulled back, your heart cracked a little more at the sight, his face wet with tears that stuck his hair to his cheeks, that you cleaned up. 
"I miss you."
You froze. He did as well, but for an entirely different reason. At the idea that he had said it. Not you. Him. The words decorated the air and hung there for minutes as you fell silent. 
Finally; "You don't mean that."
"Yes I do," his response was quick, as if expecting you to deny him of his own feelings.
"You're upset, and I'm comforting you. You miss Morgan. Not me. Transference," you mumbled, hands dropping from his face. 
"This isn't transference."
"Spencer."
You were right. You knew it in the way his shoulders sagged in defeat, and his lips parted as if to say something, only to clamp shut in mental defiance. 
"Maybe," he finally said, quietly. "But I do still miss you."
"It's been five years," you answered. He nodded his head in agreement. You exhaled. "I miss you too, Spencer."
He lips twitched, but never reached a smile. "You aren't seeing anyone, then?" he asked. 
"You can deduce that, I'm sure."
You were right, he could, and he nodded his head, lips reaching a smile, albeit sadly. "Yeah. Me neither."
"I also figured," you said. "You would've gone to your girlfriend if you had one."
"I would've," he nodded his head, laughing a breathy, awkward laugh. "Instead I went to my ex-girlfriend."
"You did." More uncomfortable silence, before you let out a sigh. Again. "Movie?"
"What?"
"Do you want to watch a movie?" you say the full sentence, a little slower than what was probably necessary. You knew him well enough to know that he hated talking about his feelings, he was an awful communicator. Had been, your brain screams at you. He could've changed. 
It seemed he hadn't, because he nodded his head, a smaller, more genuine smile painted his lips. "Yeah. Okay."
your reblogs and replies are always appreciated dearly ♡
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tenwhiteandalusians · 13 hours ago
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olivia rodrigo get him back! dot mp3. so you’re telling me tenax ARRESTED his boyfriend while he was emotionally at his lowest for a trick they used to pull together in order to convince him to come back to him. it’s not like you could’ve just asked or anything.
and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.
#‘for the sake of our old friendship’ WHAT KINDS OF ELABORATE FOREPLAY DO YOU ENGAGE IN#god. the pained little wait wait the brief SECOND of real anger and frustration tenax has when scorpus doesn’t immediately come back to him#and he can’t understand why. the smirk and the needling that all is right in the world when scorpus says yes and tenax says my friend#the FUNDAMENTAL MISUNDERSTANDING GOING ON HERE I COULD CHEW THROUGH STRAIGHT OBSIDIAN!!!!!!#can we also talk abt the MOTG speech tenax gave UGH perf. wish i could steal it that’s the vision/voice for him. at all times a lil smirk#having a real What Did I Know w/this one as well bc the breakdown he has @the senators? what if u got everything u wanted &nothing changed.#what if they still thought of u as lesser even tho u’d been raised quite literally 2 their level but a ft below. always 2little. not enough#WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PLOT TWIST SPOILER IF YOU DON’T KNOW BUT OF COURSE TENAX THE BASTARD OF A PATRICIAN OH I COULD DO SO MUCH DAMAGE WITH THAT#ON HIS POOR PSYCHEEEEE question everything about your life like hunh. are you a true stray if u killed your father (the ultimate roman sin#of patricide what a Guilt Complex) do you. are you a man of the people if you have the divine blood of the patricians do you even know what#they want and is what YOU want real or is it just the blood inside of you calling like to like. because even at your basest instincts#you know that you are only for yourself you have always been. and given the chance if they’d treated you equal you’d be just like them.#that’s what you wanted. isn’t it. if you admit it. is it really what anyone would do though? a true member of the masses which you’re not?#ALSO I SEE THE LESBIANS!! I SEE YOU HUNTRESS OF DIANA WITH YOUR HORN!!! OKAY WE WILL ALSO GET THERE!! WITH MY KWAME NARRATIVE I’M BUILDING!#i love that y'all get to watch me break down in semi-real time MONTHS after this show has been out.#i'm tagging spoiler for things you have known for like. a long time now. it's not news to you but it sure is to me!!!!!!#bc i drafted the post i am reblogging in AUGUST. & i just watched episode i am talking about on 12/16. uh. wasn't kidding abt the watch rat#never too late to enjoy things never too slow to watch and certainly not to start!!!! take your sweet old time rome wasn't built in a day!!#we are SO insanely back for the non-existent divorce fic. sometimes you DO have to put your partner in jail and make them suffer#true to form for the myths eh. but when i tell you the absolute whirring inside my brain when tenax didn't let him out like oh?#does he have to beg? are you coming back later with the key? is this a fun little game you divorced freaks play and make everyone witness?#AND THEN!!!! if i could bottle the exact way he says to scorpus “you're drunk” oh my god. scorpus hurt because THIS IS WHAT THEY DO#he's playing his role perfectly again but he doesn't know about the extortion he doesn't know what's going on because tenax won't tell him#and the quiet way he fades out and backs off yelling give me my money when tenax grips him then turns away oh. OH. the uncertainty of maybe#he thought wrong. maybe this is finally the time they don't do this anymore and tenax has given up he's found calla he sees the way he look#at her and she is better he knows that. he'd love her too. over him. and it's NOT THATTTTTT tenax can't tell him because he wants to protec#him that's what they've always done if no one knows you're safe. not too close to be a lover not an enemy someone would kill to gain favor-#a friend. an old friend. and he's shaking him by the shoulders bc if he wasn't drunk tenax would tell him now he needs him he NEEDS him#but instead he can't so he grips his shoulders & tries to say i don't have it he can't say it here in front of everyone he wants so badly#for him to understand. and scorpus of course does not. i love not-writing vague angst i don't have to clear up <3 between friends.
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buffyfan145 · 3 months ago
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I think I figured out what is going to happen with Haladriel in the season 2 finale after all the stuff we got today, mostly from Amazon's latest TV ad which gives away another major part of it. It's also all over Twitter/X and Reddit now but warning others in case they don't want that many spoilers as I've seen the fans who went to the NY screening now posting in disbelief how Amazon is just spoiling so much of it. Will say if what I'm thinking happening is correct it's actually good imo and not fully a repeat of the s1 ending like so many think. So it's up to you if you want to see it or not. It doesn't give away any other spoilers though for the other characters/ships just Haladriel.
So from all of this it seems like after Galadriel and Sauron/Annatar have their sword fight he does switch back to Halbrand and proposes again. We got confirmation of this from that review of s2 that was posted today and already in the tags (though that reviewer really didn't like a lot of season 2 as a whole so here's some negative stuff in there). It seems like whatever Sauron/Halbrand does with Galadriel does almost make her say yes. There might be a vision too or not, but whatever he says and does it's so tempting and we can clearly see that she does want it, but at the last moment snaps out of it either due to Nenya or her own will. Then she jumps off the cliff!!! 😮
The new trailer shows Sauron back as Annatar on that clifftop after she falls and he's using his magic to save her. You can see his hands are moving similar to how he controlled those elves in ep 2.7 in the forge. Seems it's similar to Eleven on "Stranger Things" with her telekinesis powers and he saves her from dying. Not sure if he gets the 9 rings back before this or after but this is likely the moment their head s2 director Charlotte says that by the end of s2 we'll know he truly loves her. A lot of figured she might get injured and he heals her, but saving her from dying again would prove this and that he won't let her die, and likely can't live without her now like the classic enemies to lovers troupe.
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Then there's some leaks that Gil Galad and/or Elrond find her and take her with them and Sauron lets her go with Nenya before he leaves, which does make sense now if this is the case. Also that she lets him leave too with the 9. This also sets up s3 and them still connected, especially once he makes the One Ring and has control over all the rings.
I'm totally ok with this if this happens. It proves again he loves her and he won't stop trying to have her by his side. Would also mean that we'll likely get more mind palace scenes in s3 and that it's far from over between them since she almost said yes. I would've loved if she went with him but I never really thought that would happen anyway. We'll see for sure on Thursday but this is what my head is telling me now.
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erinwantstowrite · 6 months ago
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Let me just quickly say, cross-overs can sometimes get REALLY difficult to map out and write in a cohesive way but you have absolutely NAILED IT!! I absolutely ADORE LoF!!! I usually don’t even bother reading fics with the ‘Richard Grayson is Richard Parker’ premise cause I felt like they were super confusing and overcomplicated but this fic?? SUPERB. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD I ADORE IT. Everyone’s characterizations are so nice and wonderful aaaaaaah!!!! <33333
Ok ok I did actually have a question as well: would you be willing to share what your writing process looks like in terms of a chapter you’ve already posted? I was just wondering since I’m also currently working on my own fic (it’s been a few years but I managed to get fixated on an idea and it grew legs lol) and I’m currently fighting the organization of it haha.
How do you keep track of the plot points and/or foreshadowing you want to get a ‘lightbulb!’ moment for later? Do you have any tips?
Thank you so much! I absolutely adore your writing AND your art is so gorgeous omg it adds so much to the incredible story :DDD I hope you have a good day!!
I have a secret: I actually didn't like "Richard Grayson is Richard Parker' tag for a while for the same reason. Sometimes they felt like they missed the mark or it's just. A thing that's there? I almost didn't include it for LoF, but I'm glad I did because it changed the direction in such a big way.
Another secret: this made me incredibly happy because I have read so many wikis and scoured the internet to make sure that I had enough info on both fandoms so LoF could make sense to anyone who's reading it, whether they know Spider-Man, Batfam, or neither at all. Sometimes I worry a lot before I post that I'll miss a mark and will confuse people.
As for the question: I definitely am willing to share what my writing process looks like!
Be prepared for under the cut, I love to yap. It's in my blood to yap. And that's why it took a minute to get to this ask haha
(Spoilers for Leap of Faith!! Everything mentioned has already been published ((Chapters 1-11))
I had to go and find out which chapter I wanted to use as an example and I think we're gonna go with Chapter 5 for the most part :)
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My writing process is, as described by alighterwood:
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I think the description fits because while I'm all over the place, I have to be very detail oriented and I store everything in one spot.
Starting with the overall process, what I find is most helpful for me, when organizing, is having a notebook rather than doing it all digitally. I've been using a 70 sheet notebook that I had lying around waiting to be used, and as of yesterday, I officially filled the entire thing front to back. It's been an incredible help, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it's a lot easier to remember something I physically wrote down than it is to remember something I typed. I'm now on to my second notebook for LoF, and I might even have to get a third.
In another ask, startupkat asked me this:
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And I shared a little about my outline process there, but I'll try to go into a little more depth here. Emphasis on little because this is so long.
I write a truly insane amount of outlines in this notebook.
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This is just what I can show you, but a good chunk of the notebook is just outlines. Over and over and over again. That's because they're always changing/adapting based on so many different factors. Sometimes I get to a chapter I thought I had fully planned out and then realize it just doesn't work anymore. Other times, I get to the chapter and realize I don't want to write that anymore/isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. A few times I got halfway through a POV of a scene I was struggling on and decided to switch POV's, which will change up the outline for a chapter every now and then.
Which is why I don't write incredibly detailed outlines and try to keep it vague until I actually get to that chapter. It's a lot less daunting to rewrite a chapter outline than it is to rewrite the entire outline.
Fic outlines and Chapter outlines look a lot alike.
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This is what I said in the other ask, but I didn't elaborate on it all the way.
I make a list just like that, and then I try to put it in chronological order/in an order that makes sense. I keep the Fic outline vague by writing down "Goals" for a chapter rather than scenes. But I also keep notes to myself if I really think something is important. The more important I think a scene needs to be, the more details I write down to make sure my future self recalls what I had in mind when I thought it up.
Really simple example:
Chap 1 Goal: Peter gets to Gotham and meets Babs while running around. Meet Nightwing too? Get shelter.
Chapter 2 Goal: Bats are like "???" about Peter. Batfam dynamic important... Peter stalking Batfam back? Peter meet Batman >:)
When I get to a chapter, that's when I make a far more detailed list of wants/needs/goals. It's the Step 2 from the Step 1. Here are some examples from Chapter 5:
Needed to have:
More POV's from universe 1299 (Peter's home universe)
Tony's POV more specifically, how he's doing/feeling, what he's figured out
What they've figured out on 1299 side vs what's going on in 1300 (Gotham)
Explaining more about Peter's trauma/his past
Dick learning more about Peter, and vise versa
Wanted to have:
Ned being a more central character
Natasha :)
Loki being a little shit
Tony and Cap bickering
Peter talking to Nightwing again
The last name Grayson
Gymnastics!!
(This is the shortened list, because the chapters are so long)
When I looked at this list before writing my outline, I had to figure out how I could incorporate everything. If I needed more 1299 POV's, and I wanted Ned, Natasha, and Loki, there's one scene accounted for. I had to get their side of things and wanted that trio together. I needed a Tony POV, and I wanted Tony and Cap bickering, so those went together, plus I got 1299's POV of Ohnn and his plans explained.
I needed to have Peter explaining more about his trauma, and Dick and Peter to talk/get closer. I wanted a Nightwing POV, to have Peter say his last name, and them doing gymnastics. I knew Peter wouldn't willingly talk about that, so I had him have a nightmare. Not only did it give readers perspective but it made Peter more susceptible to talking to Nightwing because he was more emotionally vulnerable/lonely, and that's how that scene came together.
That's when I would write down the chronological order of these events by writing out "Scene Blocks." (This is what I wrote down but my handwriting was so bad I can't subject y'all to it):
scene 1- Ned talking to Loki. Natasha should be nearby and observing Loki's behavior. They are not on friendly terms. Ned is more worried about Peter than he is as to what Loki could be up to, so Natasha takes on that role.
scene 2- Tony is freaking out about Peter being in an alt dimension. He should attack Ohnn when he's not prepared for it. Beat his ass? Beat his ass. Cap there too.
scene 3- Peter's nightmare. "Ben, where do you go when you die?" "Where do you think?" "With you. Where you went."
scene 4- Nightwing and Peter.
Of course, things come to attention when writing. Like originally, Tony and Cap were arguing in the Tower. But it was a little too much like his and Natasha's argument, and I kept in mind that Tony is smart. Sometimes I forget that the characters are smarter than I am, so I have to account for what they would figure out. So Tony would have picked up the puzzle pieces and come to more conclusions than I originally thought about, and I figured he'd be way more proactive about it than just. Being in the Tower and waiting.
Which means that that scene ended up being as listed above: having a squabble with Cap, learning more about Peter's dynamic with the Avengers in this universe, and seeing how Tony is reacting to it by throwing himself head first into trying to capture Ohnn.
I'll realize I need something else to be mentioned or put in and I'll have to shimmy things around, but that's basically how it goes.
As for other forms of organization:
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Keeping a timeline is so important because it tells you a lot about the environment your characters are in. It's also important to remember what a character has on them, what money they've spent, who they've met/who you have mentioned, every alias that is being used, to read your work and write down edits you want to make before you make them, to write down ideas beforehand of situations you can use, and, most importantly: MAKE A MAP!! This has saved me so many times. Sometimes your brain WILL trick you or make it harder on you to envision a scene. Make a map of where your characters are physically!! It will save you too!!
As for foreshadowing and plot points, I'll let you in on yet another secret:
Your subconscious is doing a lot more than you think it is.
Sometimes when I foreshadow something, I didn't even know I was until I got to it. I very often go back to read chapters that came before this to see what I've mentioned and what I haven't, and when I do, I'll see something and go "I have to bring this back" or "I almost forgot about that!"
Other times, I am very aware of what I'm foreshadowing, and that's because I follow a mystery plot formula. You have to keep in mind everyone's intentions, all the time. How are they feeling? What are their motivations? And: what are they doing right now, while this character is doing this?
Like Beck and Ohnn. From the very beginning, I knew I had to make sure that it was obvious Ohnn wasn't working alone. From there, I had to weave through the story and slowly build him up as someone who's working behind the scenes. Even from Ned's first POV, I made sure to mention that this person knows Tony and is tech savvy.
My biggest tip is to make sure you reread your work or at least skip through it, because sometimes you don't even know that you placed something there.
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And sometimes, it's very purposeful. :)
I hope this helped! I really tried to keep it short but I am insane and the process is sooooo long. It sounds complicated but it really is simple when you're actually doing it I swear
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venelona · 2 months ago
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Write My Report author notes
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Today is one year since I first posted my Dazatsu fic 'Write My Report' (PM Dazai x PM Atsushi, Atsushi works as Dazai's secretary), so as I edit through all 100k+ words of it, I bring you author notes - include my favourite things about the chapters, thoughts behind some moments and fun (?) facts.
!SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE FANFIC!
(fanfic quotes will be in italics, bold italics are just the words that were italics in the quote- it makes sense- i promise-)
Starting with, of course,
Chapter 1:
I think the whole premise of the fanfic was born by that one time Dazai asks Atsushi to write his report for him after Dazai returns from his mafia kidnapping. Second half of the plot with him helping Atsushi conceal his tiger ability was an excuse for them to hold hands every full moon. I thought it would be a shortcut to my beloved 'one bed' trope. And then it didn't shortcut shit because I slow burned the hell out of it
'Great - now he was alive and uncomfortably wet.'
"I… I- I can't believe I'm going to get fired because of a guy who wanted to drown himself over paperwork." - Sweet sweet irony 😌 You want Dazai to live, Atsushi? Get to paperwork then
I think the whole premise of the fanfic was born by that one time Dazai asks Atsushi to write his report for him after Dazai returns from his mafia kidnapping. Second half of the plot with him helping Atsushi conceal his tiger ability was an excuse for them to hold hands every full moon. I thought it would be a shortcut to my beloved 'one bed' trope. And then it didn't shortcut shit because I slow burned the hell out of it
'Great - now he was alive and uncomfortably wet.'
"I… I- I can't believe I'm going to get fired because of a guy who wanted to drown himself over paperwork." - Sweet sweet irony 😌 You want Dazai to live, Atsushi? Get to paperwork then
I never described Atsushi's waiter uniform but this is kind of how I imagined it looking. No I don't have explanations. Literally just 'the vision.'
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I guess I never described Atsushi's secretary clothes, tho it's been referenced that he has a jacket. Its also drawn on the cover lol
'He briefly contemplated drowning himself, but he didn't want his last day to be so full of Chuuya, so he decided on another kind of drink tonight.'
Dazai mercelessly shooting the guy in the bar who saw Atsushi transform was one of the things that were supposed to back up that 'Dark Dazai' tag. And then I kinda forgot to make him do more evil things later on lol He kills more people but more off screen and I kinda fumbled that tag ngl
COOL FANART COOL FANART LOOK AT THE COOL FANART something made me hate that scene but then zinder came in and made me love it 😭💖💖💖
'"Ah, you're awake." A vaguely familiar voice called from the doorway.' They caught Atsushi trying to cross the boarder-
The section where Dazai explains Atsushi about how he's the tiger and offers the deal is the only section where one POV breaks and you can see the other, but I decided to keep it. It was written this way because I didn't plan on keeping their POVs very separate, but then they never broke again lol
"Close your mouth, Atsushi, I already saw plenty of your fangs today."
Atsushi never, for even one second, regretting helping Dazai and saying so to him every time 😭🙏
I love writing canon moments altered by whatever the premise of the fic is - in this case, PM Dazai and Atsushi. Canon parallels - Dazai blackmailing Atsushi into the job.
Never really described but Dazai's office is on the first floor in part of it where not a lot of people pass by. All executives have more proper offices but Dazai really just took a room he didn't need a lot of time to get to. That makes Atsushi's work a bit annoying because most mafia clerks work on other floors together and he alone gotta run back and forth
It probably shows but I know nothing of the ways of office paperworks
"Eh, you're doing fiiine." His employer waved from the couch. "You're doing a way better job than I ever did, Atsushi." "How?.." "You're looking at the papers." Dazai smirked. "That's more than I usually do."
Initially one big point of conflict was supposed to be that Dazai holds a very high position in the mafia, so the papers he handles is full of very valuable information. And the fact that he let Atsushi into all of that information gives Atsushi some degree of power in the mafia, but also makes him a target for others... and then this never really came up lol
I don't think this was ever outright stated but Dazai's apartment is on a very high floor - not last one, but still high up. Like, twenty or something. The whole building inhabited by mafia workers, but he's really the only big fish in it
"I can't just make something up! Besides, from the amount of complaining notes-" Atsushi pointed at the hefty pile of papers Dazai was sitting right next to. "People do read your reports." "Oh, you actually read these?" Dazai picked up a few papers from that stack. "I usually just throw them away." "It's not even all of them?!" "Oh, it's probably just from the last three days."
Dazai saying 'Chuuya probably wrote half of the complaints and that's why I am not reading them' is just an excuse. He's just too lazy to read them
Something about Chuuya being described as 'The hat man' is sending me
[Dazai and Chuuya] '"When was the last time I made a wrong decision, hm?" "I don't know, yesterday? In the morning? Five minutes ago?"'
'"Atsushi, you should visit more places." Dazai shook his head. "Do you even go anywhere on your days off?" "I don't have days off." Atsushi blinked at him. Dazai blinked back. "Really?" "You never told me I have any."' - Atsushi never even asking if he has off days for like two weeks 😭 He'd work without them too, that poor man. Dazai gave him Thursday off because that was the only day Dazai himself actually occupied his office before he hired Atsushi. Dazai was fine without an office (he'd find a place to laze around), but people were complaining that he's hard to find when someone wanted to talk to him, and so he told everyone he can be found on Thursdays. After he hired Atsushi he started spending like 50% more of his time in the office because when he wanted to laze around he was like 'might as well do it in the office, I can occupy the couch, I am not alone and people will shout at me less and even praise me for being at work)
'Atsushi shook his head again. He needed to distract himself. "So… that was Akutagawa, huh?" That was probably the worst topic he could've picked for a distraction, but anxiety hasn't let him think of any other at the moment.'
Never elaborated on but in this story other executives have a lot of people that are under their command specifically. Dazai still orders people around and gives them work and stuff, but the only person he hired himself before Atsushi was Akutagawa. So that's why Atsushi is kind of treated like a big deal by other mafia members. Also half the reason why Akutagawa was angry at his existence
Dazai telling Atsushi 'I think you and Akutagawa would work great together' was a nod to New Double Black. He was still envisioning it in his mind even though Atsushi was working as his secretary and didn't use his ability at all, but later on when he started caring for Atsushi he kind of waved that idea off because he didn't want Atsushi using his ability at all
'"Atsushi, I didn't give you a day off today so you could spend it calling me at eight in the morning."'
If you're wandering why I always juggle how I call Dazai (the brunet/the mafioso/the bandaged man) and others is because in school during language lessons one lesson that stuck to me was that you can't use the same word in two sentences in a row, or it'll sound bad. So half my writing comes from me trying to juggle the same words back and forth. h e l p
Never described but I like to imagine that Dazai got panorama windows in his living room. I never stated this because I don't think he would - something like that would up the chances of his enemies finding where he lives and Dazai wouldn't bother risking that. But... that's what my cinematic imagination wants
'"If you planned on holding hands all night, I regret to inform you that I have no habits of flirting with men."' - canon parallel + THAT WAS THE PREMISE OF THE FIC AND I BARELY DID IT 😭😭😭
'"Or you wanted to watch me sleep the whole night? I didn't think you were such a pervert, Atsushi."' - a set up for a joke in chapter 6. Yes. I thought of that stupid joke this far back.
'And, he supposed, watching Atsushi struggle with the paperwork made it a teensy bit more enjoyable to do. By which he meant it was still a nightmare and he'd rather throw himself off this very building than work on it, but still. A little bit more enjoyable.'
I got SO many comments on SO many chapters about 'when Atsushi will tell Dazai about his tragic past'. Either they missed the 'Probably had to do with that orphanage he talked about earlier, but Dazai didn't care for sob stories about the past.' line, or wanted something more- Dazai KNEW, he connected the dots, he just didn't care back then
Dazai was supposed not to care for Atsushi in these earlier stages but I kind of fumbled it and made him too caring a bit too quickly but. Whatever can you do.
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a-star-that-burns-brightly · 3 months ago
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CH2-12 thoughts (spoilers, I guess. You probably shouldn't be in the tag if you haven't finished the episode though.)
So! DRDT is officially back, and wow what a way to begin the rollercoaster we'll be put through the next few weeks. This episode was amazing, and I wanted to discuss my thoughts on it in a more detailed form. This episode gave us a lot of character moments that I want to at least mention, so let's get into it? Before we do though, I want to say that through these posts, I will be updating two things and showing them at the beginning and end First one being the swear statistics! It became a thing after my previous rewatch that every time a character swears, I count it, and I want to continue doing that for the rest of the series if I can so manage it.
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^ current swear statistics as of CH2-11
And the second being...drumroll please!
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My own personal DRDT CH2-Part 2 bingo card! If something on this list happens in CH2-Part 2, I'll check it off. Hopefully I can get a bingo or two in here, especially since, spoilers, two of the boxes have already been checked. But with all of that preamble out of the way, let's begin shall we? I’m going to cover the character moments we got in separate categories of the well…characters, rather than in order, for the sake of being concise.
Arturo
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First and foremost, “Shut your whore mouth” made me scream at the top of my lungs. God I wish that was voiced. But more importantly, the thing about Arturo being very young for a plastic surgeon actually being addressed was not something I expected, especially so early. But I definitely appreciate the nuggets of Arturo backstory. Funny enough, his situation sounds very similar to Min’s in some regard, especially this line
(x) Arturo: I was only able to get this far in such a short amount of time because I specialized in plastic surgery, and nothing else. I neglected everything that wasn't immediately relevant to my goals.
This absolutely plays a factor into his relationship with his little sister. It more than likely was not just him leaving that made her commit suicide, but perhaps also years of neglect. And if she really felt like she couldn't live a life without Arturo in it, it's safe to say that their parents probably weren't the best either. The more I learn about Arturo and his homelife the more worried I am for him and especially his sister.
Veronika
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Veronika didn't get much besides being her usual self, but I gave her a category because I wanted to point out two things One, Veronika calling Arturo cute. That just made me smile
And secondly, this line right here
(x) Veronika: Oh, and don't say something as boring as "I want to kill myself." I have no interest in such mundane reasons.
This is so fucked up and awful and gross and I absolutely love her for it. I just know she's going to get worse, I hope she does.
And also the fact that she apparently finds suicide to be inherently boring is very interesting, given the fact that she more than likely has the self-harm secret.
Whit
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I know he didn't have much, if any major role in this episode but...listen I missed him. So much. You have actually zero idea how much I missed him and his goofiness... But also I can't believe that was the explanation for the dent in the computer lab that's been bugging me for months. Well played DT-Dev... (though the fact that Whit got away with breaking a rule solely because MonoTV thought it was funny is a bit fishy...it's almost like he's the MASTERMIND-- /hj)
We also in general got a lot of Charles and Whit moments, which I always like to see I don't think there's anything else to cover when it comes to Wh--
(x) David: Ugh! Goddamn it, Whit, does everything you say have to be made into some shitty dumb joke?! You're actually really fucking annoying! Shut the fuck up!!
...Well, when I said I wanted more Whitvid interactions I guess this can serve as a reward. ...guys dont worry this is how we can still wi--
Levi
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...I mean, what else is there to say really?
No but actually I'll talk. This is what we've been theorizing for a year, and I actually had it in my predictions that Levi's secret was going to be the one revealed in this episode. But I did not expect it right at the end, nor did I expect it to be so sudden. And I don't think Levi has any reason to lie either, so I think this is his actual secret. Seeing him lose confidence and apologize for his unhelpfulness kind of stung to me, honestly. Levi has been trying to help the group since the very beginning, and that has only amplified since the start of Chapter 2. So seeing him...basically give up was very upsetting He is definitely going to be in the hot seat next week's episode and I am very excited for it, hopefully we get some insight on his past as well and...maybe a levi and nico interaction? please dt-dev? please? :>
Hu
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FishyFried, as always, knocked it out of the fucking park with Hu's voice acting, and her monologue towards David was just as amazing...if not a bit terrifying, as it directly parallels with her hidden quote
I want to pay for what I’ve done. But even then, I still want to live.
I think I've said this before, but I adore David and Hu's dynamic and how both of them tackle the themes of change in their own ways, how both of them project onto the people around them to fulfill their own desires due to being stagnant in their own growth as people, it's so much fun, and I can't wait to see how this continues to develop in the later chapters I am sincerely a ch5victim!david + ch5killer!hu believer at the end of the day.
Teruko
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Oh Teruko, quite a bit to discuss with you today.
For starters, her genuinely feeling embarrassed and upset upon realizing what she did wrong, apologizing for it, and (how I interpreted it anyway) beginning to realize that working alone and not accepting help from others is starting to bite her in the ass? That was not what I expected. I really did think that Teruko was going to get worse before she got better, but maybe she's improving a lot quicker than I thought (...let's hope she doesn't backslide again though, especially if the culprit is who I think it is) Also.
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If I have to live with this knowledge, so the-fuck do you. And then there's her argument with David, which I already made a post about, but I want to add onto it by saying that the performances from Swords and LuucarIi here are absolutely phenomenal. One of my favorite voice acted scenes in the entire series. I have replayed Teruko's "Hah! Based on what?!" probably around 20 times and I will repeat it 20 times more because the delivery gives me actual chills. This fangan has such an amazing voice cast oh my god it's insane.
David
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Oh. You are such a broken, broken man, and you are absolutely going to go down the Simon Laurent route. I actually don't have a lot to add when it comes to David's actual motivations for his actions, I think a lot of us theorized that he was trying to kill everyone and himself. But the main thing I want to talk about is the Xander shit because oh my god this man is Down Fucking Horrendous. I mentioned all the way back in this post that David idolizes Xander just as much as Xander idolizes him. What I didn't expect was for him to still be clinging onto the hope Xander gave him and trying to follow in his footsteps, and being borderline possessive over the damn dead man. Xander may have idolized David, but David is obsessed with Xander and what he represents to him. And he is willing to ruin his reputation, reliability, and dignity in pursuit of what he thinks is right. Not to mention, it puts the Tally5 image in a whole new light.
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Though I still think these words apply to the very possible revolution that David, Xander, and Mai enacted towards Hope's Peak, a theory that has become even more credible after this episode, I also think these lines portray David's thought process during his actions in CH2-11 and his motivation for doing the things that he does. David calling Xander "the only good person he's ever known" is very, very telling when you consider what he personally thinks makes someone a bad person (lazy, useless, stupid). And that makes me upset. Xander and David's relationship will never not be absolutely fascinating to me. ...alSO DAVID APPARENTLY HAS MEMORIES FROM HOPE'S PEAK??? APPARENTLY??? Like am I reading that right or do I just have bad media literacy. How...How does he??? WHY does he??? Why did he say he didn't know who Xander was in the prologue???? I am very confused and I'm sure it will all be answered. Extra Thoughts !! - we got 7:30 AM confirmation, woohoo!! And the bonus of Arei swinging when she was first found was such a good detail and I’m surprised none of us noticed it, honestly. With that confirmation, that leaves basically everyone else (minus J, David, Veronika, Hu, and Nico) in the hot-seat. - the multitude of new sprites we got were so amazing, especially David's - Apparently everything that happened in the second half of CH2-11 was in the span of two hours?! Sheesh, the editing crew on the TV show must be working overtime. Hopefully they get a paycheck and its not just MonoTV who gets paid. - If I had any doubt in my brain that Eden was the culprit it has basically dissipated with this episode. I really do not know who else it could be other than her. three of the five main suspects other than her have basically been cleared up, either through alibi (J and Hu) or though plot (Levi) David and Nico are also cleared from suspicion Though there isn't really any plot or evidence reason to necessarily exclude Rose, given her moment in CH2-8 and, let's be honest, this murder being way too physically complicated for someone as lethargic as her to commit, I'm inclined to believe she is not And every other character has something that's clearly being set up to be further explored in Chapter 3 (Charles, Whit, Ace, Arturo, and Veronika) Like... even if you don't think Eden is the culprit, you can't deny that she's the odd one out here. I still think Accomplice!Levi is true, but I also truthfully think the culprit can't be anyone other than Eden - If I were to give one I-guess critique though, not just on this episode but on the trial as a whole, it's that we are four trial episodes in and there has been very, very little focus on the actual murder mystery itself. We have barely even covered 80% of the evidence. This isn't like, a huge problem for me specifically because I very much watch DRDT for the astounding character writing over the murder mysteries, and I definitely think that the lack of focus on the case is worth the amazing character moments we got in this episode. But I can see it really bothering some people, and there's a part of me that can't help but be a bit afraid that the actual solving of the murder case is going to hit the audience with a bunch of information at once and come across as a bit rushed due to the lack of focus it's had so far. I trust that DT-Dev is cooking though, and it'll probably be a lot more cohesive once we have the full trial to look through.
Predictions for CH2-13 - Like I said before, Levi is going to become the main suspect easily thanks to his secret reveal. I know Ace is going to be on his ass especially, because in his mind it would basically confirm the image he has already conjured up of Levi in his mind as a violent brute who is going to snap his neck any second. J is also going to jump to conclusions because that's just what she does, and she was already concerned about the murderer secret to begin with. - Furthermore, I think most of this episode is going to entail Teruko trying to disprove that Levi could've been the culprit. Considering the fact that there, well, isn't much evidence to suggest he didn't, maybe this episode will feature this chapter's Random Guess minigame. - I highly doubt we're getting an AM VS PM scrum debate now, but maybe we'll get one on whether or not Levi is the culprit? Maybe? - On the topic of trial minigames, I hope we get another nonstop debate, it's been like three episodes since we've had one lmao - Nico is either going to defend Levi, or reiterate the speech that J gave them in CH2-9. Either way, I hope this reveal causes them to interact it would be so interesting - We are on a track-record of having at least one person's secret exposed every trial episode. Considering the fact that Xander and Min are dead, and I do not think Teruko's secret will come out until the end of the chapter, that really only leaves Hu and Veronika...which is interesting, as they are both in the clear for being the culprit. Hu has already had multiple moments to shine in this trial, so I think its more likely that Veronika's secret will be the one getting revealed. How that happens, I am unsure. But I think Veronika will be the next person to have her secret revealed.
Conclusion Overall, I think this episode was amazing and a great way to kick off the end of the hiatus. I can already tell that these next few weeks are going to be a wild ride for us DRDT fans, but we're all in this together, so I think everything's going to be fine (nothing is going to be fine.)
UPDATED SWEAR STATISTICS: CH2-12
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UPDATED BINGO CARD
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mrsjavierpena · 1 year ago
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not (un)expected | part 1
javier peña x f!secretary!reader
summary: Javier has one, only one very strict policy: to not ever fuck a co-worker; specially if that co-worker is his own secretary. but you make it such a hard promise to keep
chapter warnings: narcos' spoilers, smut, grinding, unprotected p in v, kind of exhibitionism, (light?) angst, a lot of cursing (its javier pena), kinda slow burn/slow start, unspecified age gap, work dynamics, reader has no name/descripition (but has hair long enough to pull), no use of 'y/n'
IMPORTANT: English is not my first language, i've done my best with grammar but there will be mistakes (fuck prepositions i hate them), so pls overlook those
wordcount: 7k
an: this is part one of a two part story; feel free to reblog and leave your comment. im so happy with the reception of this fic, its my first time posting something here, thank you guys so much for the support - also, if you want to be tagged in part two (really don't know when is coming out) just lmk in the comments.
hope you enjoy!
Javier was known for being an asshole.
Everyone in the office called him that; not to his face, of course, since he was the boss, but he knew, and honestly? He kind of did it on purpose. Being sent back to Colombia to be the CIA puppy didn't in fact thrilled him, but he also wasn't there to make friends. A little bit later than one month into his new position and Javier had already changed secretaries twice. Just by being himself.
The first one was a kind old lady that liked to talk a little bit too much for Javi's taste - which was none. To be fair, he tried to handle her. He listened to her talking of her yougest child finishing college, but she asked him if maybe he could get him a job at the deparment - what in the actual fuck? -, she felt the need to tell him that her older one and his wife were trying to have a baby - he wondered what gave her the impression he wanted to know that her son was fucking someone raw. She just wouldn't shut up. She left not much after a month, at his first snap - took him too long, to be honest.
The last one was a young man fresh out of the academy, who thanked him for the opportunity every time he saw him - which, since he was just outside his office, was pretty often. Despite how thankful he was for the job, he wasn't very interested in working, at least not as he was to flirting with another secretary in the floor below. But that wasn't the worst part, the kid had no idea what he was supposed to do and would go ask Javier for help for every task given to him - he swore he was shaking everytime. Javi didn't care that he was young and was learning, he didn't receive enough to raise a child at work. Didn't last a week.
Javier had headaches just by the thought of who would be sent next. With his current luck, it could be his ex-fiancée. He definitely didn't expect you knocking on his office door and introducing yourself as his new secretary. He was speechless for a moment; you were the combo of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life with a killing black pencil skirt, so tight it showed all your curves. You gave him a firm handshake and asked if he needed anything from you, and, when he denied, that was it. You went to your desk; didn't ask him questions, didn't tell him your whole life, didn't thank him for an opportunity he didn't give you, just went to do your work.
For a while, Javier was glad that you didn't give him any trouble, but that was until you quickly learned his habits. As soon as he arrived the office, you would receive him with a polite smile, a cup of black coffee and his schedule for the day. When he dove into files and forgot he was a person, you would bring him his lunch and wouldn't leave until he had at least a bite - as if he was a kid, what an absurd -, you would sense when he was stressed and would excuse yourself into his office with coffee and a pack of cigarettes and leave without saying a word.
He hated how much he appreciated that - even worse, how he liked that. It didn't take long for him to want to fuck you, to become obssessed with you. And it wasn't just him, he could see every other men in the department - single or not - turn their neck as they watched you pass by. But it was not just that you were hot, you were nice too; he would watch you from his office - not in a creepy way, though, he just didn't have anything much better to do - and you would distribute smiles and polite greetings to every soul that passed your desk, people would constantly stop by to small talk with you and you would let them be for five minutes or so before politely dismiss them to go back to work. Every fucking body there adored you.
Things had always been very professional between you both. Javi held back his flirty instinct and you- well, you didn't even seem interested in him at all. That was untill a very stressfull friday with Stechner giving him shit again. He left the building straigh to the bar, ready to drown himself on whiskey and find a quick fuck for the night, not expecting at all to find you aparently doing the same. Javier considered just ignoring you and go sitting with one of the women that turned their heads in his direction as soon as he entered, but something inside of him made him take the few steps to the bar and get the stool beside where you sat.
You almost spilled your drink when he approached.
"Sorry" you coughed "Wasn't expecting to see you here"
Your body language told him that you weren't comfortable with him there, he saw your backs getting as straight as when you were at work, and immediately regretted joining you.
"Well, that makes it two of us" he raised his hand to order his drink "What's the occasion?" he points to your drink with his chin.
Your grip on your glass seemed to tighten and you took one very long sip before answering dryly "I could ask you the same"
"Work" he raised his brows "It's always work"
"Did something happen after I left?" you pinched your brows.
"No, no, just people giving me shit"
"Oh, I see..." you sighed and silence fell between you.
"So..."
"Well..." you both started talking together and laughed akwardly.
"You go" you said.
"Am I bothering you? Cause I didn't mean to, I can sit somewhere else" he didn't even know why he was asking, he should've just said goodbye and left. He was already standing when your hand found his arm.
You sighed heavily "No, not at all, I'm sorry I gave that impression, sir" you seemed genuine, that's why he sat back "I'm just stressed"
Sir. Why were you calling him sir in a bar?
"Do you want to talk about it? If there's something bothering you we can discuss it and sol-"
"It's not work related" you were quick to interrupt "Work is, honestly, the simplest part of my life right now"
"Things must be pretty bad then, 'cause I see the amount of papers on your desk everyday" that made you chucke "The offer still stands, if you want to"
You took a big breath before dropping the bomb "Broke up with my boyfriend"
Now that was a new territory. He knew absolutly nothing about your life besides you moving to Colombia from the United States; he didn't know anything from your life back there, not your family, friends, definitely not about your boyfriend; and now, somehow, knowing you didn't have one anymore made it even harder for him not to want you.
"What happened?"
"Well, actually, it seems like we had already broken up a while ago and he just forgot to send the memo" you drank your whole half glass all at once ", since he was fucking every pussy that crossed his fucking way"
He was stunned. One thing about Javier was that he was never to deny any woman; honestly, he found every body attractive and apreciatted every woman that gave herself to him. He couldn't say he had a type, but you, with what he saw with your clothes on? He would fuck you every minute of everyday he could. It was absurd to believe someone would give up on you.
"Damn!" he couldn't help but say loudly, making your eyes go wide as if just then realising what you had just said.
"Shit, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you this. I apologise, sir"
"You don't- don't apologise" he almost raised his hand to touch you, but stopped himself before "How did you find out?" you looked at him with raised brows "If you don't mind me asking"
"One of my friends called me last night and told me. She saw him at a bar with two women" you laughed, but there was no humor to be found.
"And you were still smiling at everyone at work today" he was impressed.
You smirked at him "Don't let my personal life mix with work, sir"
"Smart woman" he nods "We for sure have a reason to drink, then" waving his hand to the barman "Let me buy you one"
You don't even bother to refuse.
After three more glasses of what he found out was tequila, your shoulders were much more relaxed and so was your tongue. He found out that you and your ex had been dating for six years when you got the opportunity of job and had to move; two months had passed already.
"And you know what the worst part is?" your laugh is dry "I don't even feel bad because my heart is broken or any shit like that, it's just that is so fucking humiliating" you groaned with your hands on your face "I'm from a small town, you know, by now every soul there knows what he's been doing"
He had to laugh "That's what you're worried about?" you looked at him with false ofense.
"It's my honor we're talking about here!" he laughed even more "It's silly, I know..." you sigh shakly as you take another sip of your drink "But it is humbiling, being cheated on"
"I can't fucking believe anyone could ever cheat on you" he thought. At least he thought he did, but by the way you were looking at him - pinched brows and a curious look in your face, he had to have said it out loud "I mean, only shitty people cheat on nice people. Only shitty people cheat, that's it."
You nodded after a few seconds of silence "You're right, sir"
"You should stop calling me sir"
"I don't think so"
"Why not? We're already half drunk together at a shitty bar"
"Because you're still my boss"
Without any response to that, he looks at you. Really looks at you. Your eyes glassy from the alcohol, red puffy lips looking more appealing than ever... It would have been so easy to just lean in and kiss you. When his eyes came back to yours, it almost seemed like they were on his lips too, that you were leaning in too, that you desired him as much as he desired you and... Then it was not there anymore. Suddenly, you seemed farther than ever, backs as streight as always and eyes avoiding his.
"I should go home"
He agreed. He put you on a cab. He wished you a goodnight.
Then went back to the bar to find someone to not spend the night alone.
The next Monday, though, you seemed even more professional than ever. Wouldn't be around him more than the necessary, wouldn't look him in the eyes and it fucking bothered him.
"Yes, sir?" you entered his office after he called your name.
He sighs as he looked you up and down, his eyes lingering to your skirt pressing against your tights "How are you?"
"I'm fine" you hesitated "Why do you ask? Is something wrong?"
"Lying to me, 's all" your eyes went wide "Listen, last night-"
Your nostrils flared, your hands clenching into fists; you took a deep breath before interrupting him "I am fine"
"Ok, then" he raised his hands in defensiveness "It's just that last night-"
"Last night I was drunk!" you passed your hands through your face "I said things I shouldn't have and I am embarressed and would very much appreciate if we pretended that it never happened"
Javier was silent for a moment. He understandood your apprehension, but damn if he wasn't dismayed by it.
"Alright, 'm sorry I brought it up. But just to let you know, you don't have anything to be embarressed for, you have my word that I wouldn't hold any if that against you and..." and it was nice to talk to you "Yeah, don't worry about that"
You looked at him for a few seconds before nodding "You need anything else, sir?"
Many things, yeah. For starters, you calling him by his name; second, being able to have a casual conversation with you when alcohol isn't envolved and third, your fucking clothes off because he got embarrassingly hard just by looking at you. But instead, he only denied and you left before any other word could leave his mouth.
Javi knew it was for the best. Fucking you would be no good - well, he'd bet it would be hot as shit, but too much trouble for a one night stand. He had a whole city to fool around with, to be focused in someone from his work place, his own secretary, was nonsense. You never even gave him any hint you wanted him, if anything, the actual opposite; you told him yourself last night, personal life away from work.
Javi made sure to remember all that.
He didn't keep those thoughts for long, though.
A few days later, you met at a bar once again. A better one this time and with half of the office joined. It was Feistl's birthday and he invited the whole department for drinks. Nobody could hide their surprise when Javi aproached them; usually, he wouldn't attend this type of gathering, in his rarely free times, he better prefered the company of a good whiskey and a woman, and his colleagues knew that. His employee had invited him just to be polite and that was clear, but he knew you were going to be there, Javi just wanted one more opportunity to prove to himself that you didn't feel the same way he did, that he didn't have the same effect on you that you had on him. Once that prooved, he could move on. So he was there on a mission, trying to be the most discrete he could as he watched you from afar.
The two of you seemed to be the reflexion of each other from across the table, tense bodies and drinks in hand, the only difference being you talking with your colleagues and him not making the effort. To his defense, people weren't trying to talk to him either. Honestly, Javier kind of felt like it wasn't just that they were surprised to see him there, it felt like they didn't want him there at all by some looks he was receiving.
He was okay with that, he guessed, he would much rather analyse your behavior outside work. You didn't seem to change much, honestly; maybe your smile were a little bit more genuine, but the conversations were pretty much the same he heard you have back in the office and it could have been the larger amount of alcohol in your system that night, yeah, but you seemed more relaxed alone with him.
After half an hour there, Javi couldn't bring himself to talk to you, you seemed too interested in a conversation about the new coffee pot in the scullery with another secretary. He was getting frustrated, in another times he would interrupt the other woman and flirt with you effortlessly; it probably had to do with the environment, you were surronded by co-workers, or maybe he was losing his touch - it was almost like he was too afraid to make the move.
Javi decided to leave soon after one hour there. He congratulated Feistl for his birthday, said goodbye to whoever recognized his leaving, paid his bill and passed through the door.
"Hey" he turned around at the sound of your voice, seeing you walking towards him "Are you ok?"
He ran his hand over his chin "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
"I don't know" you shrugged "you kind of ran out of the bar"
"'S fine, you should go back inside" Javi pointed at the entrace with his chin.
You tilt your head to the side "I don't really believe you"
"I'm not asking you to" he crossed his arms "And, what, you wanna talk now? You've been quiet at work all week"
"We're not at work, though, are we?" you were quick to answer.
Javi looked you up and down "No, we're not"
"You know" you took a few steps forward ", it's not like they don't like you, they are just kind of scared of you"
Were you watching him too? Why would you say that? How would you notice?
He furrowed his eyebrows "Scared of me? Why?"
You looked at him with yours raised "You know how you act at work, don't you?"
Javi sighed and looked away. He did act like an asshole at work, it didn't seem to bother you, though. Your gazes met again as silence fell between the two of you and he decided to take the few steps left to get you as close as you never got before.
"Are you scared of me?"
You kept your eyes locked as you answered "No. You're not as bad as you think you are" you licked your lips "At least not with me"
The air thickend between the two of you, the only sound being the noises of a night in Colombia. There was no way you were not feeling that too, the way your bodies seemed to linger to each other's direction. He's sure he's not imagining the way your breath heaved, how your chest expansed, the brightness in your eyes.
No, that was real, he was not mistaking it.
A voice broke the tension, you taking a few steps back to a safe distant from him. You both looked in the direction of the sound: a woman was calling you, the same woman you talked all night, at the entrance of the bar, a few feet away from where the both of you stood.
"Maybe if you went back there and paid the next round..." he swore he saw expectancy in your eyes.
"Maybe another time" you nodded; you both knew it wouldn't happen.
You looked at him one last time before walking away "Good night, sir"
Javi nodded even though you weren't looking anymore and his eyes followed the sweet swing of your hips as you made your way back to the bar. He could hear the woman asking what it was about:
"Nothing" you answered.
He would disagree.
Javier was in a terrible, terrible mood. Things weren't going how he thought they would go, not even close to it. Feistl got a good lead about the Rodriguez brothers, one worth following, and he could do nothing about it; had to look to his subordinate and say no to his face. In the beggining, Javi had plans on reediming himself by catching Los Pepes, making amends with the city and it's people by arresting those who he felt like helped to ascend. He felt like a failure, and by the look on Feistl face, he thought so too. To worsen everything, as if it could get any, he had a huge, massive amount of piles to go through.
He lifted his eyes from the paper for the first time in hours when you knocked at the door. He knew your shift had ended a couple of hours ago, but you decided to finish the paperwork of the day so it wouldn't affect his own work the next morning, even though you couldn't have finished it on time because of the extra work put over you. It was something he frequently saw you doing, leaving much later than the others.
"I am leaving, sir. Is there something I could do for you?"
He scratched his chin and sighed heavily "Well, if you could make this fucking paperwork disappear I would built a statue of you"
You exiled a short laugh "I'm afraid that's not possible, sir"
"No, it's not" he reclined on his chair and looked at your body on the frame for a few seconds "Have a goodnight"
You nodded and left. He stood up to get a drink right after, hearing some noises outside that must have been you grabing your stuff. You were probably the last person on the floor besides him, and soon enough he would be alone, like he had been for so many nights, working until late, only able to go home to shower and come back. It wasn't much trouble, though, it's not like he could sleep even if he had the time.
A soft knock on the door surprised him, glass and bottle on each hand.
"Sorry to bother again" you said with only your head in the room after he told you to come in "But do you want help?"
He looked at you, at the pile and then at you again "You wanna help me with that?" you nodded "Why?"
"Nothing better to do" you shruged.
He should've said no. Should've told you to go home and have some rest.
He should have, yes.
"Have a sit" he pointed to the couch with the piles of papers he's been on for the last three hours.
You closed the door behind you and something on his skin tingled. You had never been this alone.
"Want a drink?" you didn't hesitate in accepting, as if waiting for him to offer.
Javier poured you one too and handed you the glass, something you thanked him for as you took a sip and he sitted beside you. You two stayed in silence reading, the only sound being the papers as you tossed them around.
"Can I give you an unasked opinion, sir?"
He almost laughed at that "Go ahead"
"You're separating these by topics, I see" he nodded "Taking one paper at the time and seeing what they are and then doing them separetly " he nodded again "I think it would be quicker if we made piles by the specific topics you have"
"You mean..."
"I mean" suddenly you stood up from the couch and knelt on the floor. Fortunally you didn't see his eyes going wide as you took a pile in your hands and put it beside you "You have a huge office, you should put the files on display and organize them better" you looked at him while taking the other piles "You helping?"
He smirked and hushed to help you. He liked this side of you; more relaxed, kind of bossy, tongue more loose... It was a shame you only showed him when there was alcohol running through your system.
"This, if you don't mind me saying, is how I organize the piles on your desk when I bring them to you, but you seem to prefer the hardest way"
Fuck, he was getting hard.
It was nuts. Absolutly nuts. What the fuck was happening, what effect was that you had on him? You did nothing but say a few dirty words without intention. Completely. Nuts.
"I do prefer the hard way" came out of his mouth before he could control it. If you didn't notice the double meaning or chose to ignore it, he didn't know "But I never noticed, no" he sighed "Honestly, I don't even know how it got to this point"
The paperwork, somehow, did accumulate, even though all he did of his life was working.
"I understand, I can see how you get lost in work" your focus was on the papers and you didn't seem to notice how he shifted on his place on the floor, trying to hide the beggining of an erection.
With your efficiency and new way of working, one hour and a half later and almost the whole paperwork gone, you're on your third glass and him on his fourth. He's used to drinking whiskey, but it was still alcohol, and it was making his skin buzz. You had already took off your blazer - his own gone hours ago - , wearing a thin blouse with a very modest neckline; your legs were crossed, making your skirt move up a little, and he was going crazy with just the tiny amount of skin you were showing.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Go ahead" you didn't even move your eyes from the paper.
"Why didn't you go home?"
You don't talk for a few seconds and he took the opportunity to stare "There's nothing waiting for me at home"
That got him thinking about your moving there. To go from a small town in the countryside to a city like Bogotá, not knowing a soul; you had acquaintances, yes, but he saw you that day at the bar, they surely were people you liked to be with, but were not friends of yours. Javi had been there, too, actually, if he would be honest with himself, he was still in the same situation. When he moved to Medellín, he had those people he could go out with and grab a drink after work, but that was all; at least until Steve came into the picture, the person he never thought he would befriend with, the only real friend he'd had in years.
"Yeah, I kind of get that" your eyes meet "Work until late for a reason"
"I guess we both need to get a life, then" you smirked.
"Cheers to that" he raised his glass to you, you did the same until it clicked with his "So, life... How is yours going?" he tried to act nonchalant by moving his eyes on the paper in his hand "With that ex-boyfriend thing and all"
Your laugh was low "Don't do that"
"Do what?" he raised his eyes again to find yours still on him.
You tilted your head to the side "Don't go down that road when we're like this"
"Like what?" he caught the exact moment your eyes fell to his lips, so he casually wet them with his tongue. If he wasn't so absorbed by the thickness in the air, he would have laughed at the way your eyes shut and your head fell back to rest on the couch.
"Drunk and... Not thinking straight"
Javi raised his eyebrows "I like the winding thoughts I'm having, though"
"Yeah" the look you gave him made him shiver.
Without breaking eye contact, Javi belted down his drink to gain courage and slowly moved his body until you were pressed side by side, giving you time to get your space again if you wanted to.
"This fine?" his voice was barely louder than a whisper.
You nodded.
"What if I wanted to kiss you right now?" he rested one forearm on the couch to lean his face closer to yours.
You gulped as you stared into his eyes "Then I think you should do it before we-"
He didn't give you the time to finish your sentence before his lips were on yours. Your lips were soft, he could taste the whiskey on your tongue as well with the gums you would chew all day. His right hand went straight to your jawline to lead the kiss. It was not a lulled kiss, neither a gentle one, Javier was ruthless, taking out on your lips all the built up tension from the last few months. He couldn't believe it was finally happening. You were quick to follow his pace, your fingers grasping his shirt and pulling him even closer. The first moan you let out get Javi even more eagered, his hand passing down your body to grab your ass. You took advantage of his action and, before he knew, you were climbing up his lap, knees on each side of his torso, and once you were fully sitted on his lap, you both couldn't contain a moan. At that point, your skirt barely covered half your ass; because of that, he figured that you wouldn't mind his hands slowly rubbing up your tights until they reached the fabric and rolled it up your waist.
Javi parted your mouths to take a good look at you on his lap, his eyes wandered from your heavy eyelids, your lips puffy and red from the kisses, your blouse-covered chest raising and falling as fast as his until they got to the black thong you were wearing and he couldn't help but moan "Oh, fuck me"
"You like them?" your mouth came down his neck to give him wet kisses.
"How wouldn't I?" he held you by the nape of the neck and brought your mouths together again "I've wanted this for so long"
You released some kind of laughter "I know"
"Oh, do you?" he raised his brows.
"You're not exactly subtle for an agent" you murmured between kisses.
He snorts "Well, thanks for the insight"
Javi couldn't resist the urge to touch you through the tiny piece of fabric and you moaned at the pressure at your clitoris, but he moaned too at the wetness he found.
Javi didn't ask you how long you had wanted him, you were grinding on his lap at that moment and that was all that mattered. But he wished you had said it, that you had desired him as much as he had desired you, that all this time he had been imagining this moment, you were imagining it too.
"Fuck baby, you are so wet already" his tongue licked a stripe on your neck "All this for me?"
You answer was muffled by a moan; it seemed positive, but before he could confirm you were linking your mouths again in a searing kiss.
You started moving your hips on his erection and you both moaned at the pressure. Suddenly, his torso is being pushed down to the ground, chests pressed against each other, your fingers tangled his hair and pushed and he fucking whimpered.
Jesus Christ, he was in heaven and was not even inside of you yet.
You grinded furiously against him and he found it absolutly beautiful how you were using him to pleasure yourself and was not embarressed to do so. So. Fucking. Hot.
He felt like he was coming in any second.
"Fuck, you keep doing that and will have me cumming on my fucking pants, bebita"
"Oh, say it again!"
"What? That I'm within seconds to cumming?"
You moaned loudly at that "No- I mean, that too, that's hot, but- oh fuck"
"Bebita?" he felt you shiver at the pet name and chuckled "You like that, huh?"
You grabbed the nape of his neck and lowered your head to crush your lips to his again, tongues fighting heatedly. Javi started to feel that heat boiling at the bottom of his stomach, his hips grinded against yours and the pressure were just perfect; by the sounds you were making, you were as close as he was. Javi reached for you ass and grabbed it with both of his hands and squeezed, adding even more pressure to the grindness. At last, he sucked the pulse in your neck and you started to shake above him; that combined with the sweet noises that came out of you, he was gone.
You collapse on top of him, fingers unconsciously running through his hair; his members were sore and he was so tired and satisfied that he could sleep right there. The both fo you took deep breaths while your head rested on the gap of his neck and his on the floor.
"I can't remember the last time I did this" he was the first to break the silence.
"I actually do this everyday to my pillow" you mumbered humurously and he moaned.
"Shit, you're gonna be the death of me" his hand ran up and down from your ass to your backs, loving the feeling of your curves.
You raised your head to find his eyes and the moment was gone. You both realizing what you just had done, the before contentedness in him that was mirrowed in your eyes then turning into panic.
"Shit" you clumsly stood up. You put your skirt down as quickly as you could.
"It's getting late" it was already late when you came to his office "I should go" you should stay, he wanted to say.
But instead he only nodded. He knew it was for the best. He shouldn't have let it come this far.
You quickly get your stuff and wishes him a goodnight. His eyes don't leave you until you pass through the door, yours, though, don't meet him once.
He stayed there on the floor, cum staining his pants, and even though he was fully clothed, the room had never felt colder.
The next day was pure craziness. After you left his office, Javi went home, took a shower and lied in bed thinking of what had just happened between the two of you and what would happen from then on until he had to come back to work. Before he could even get to his office, you intercepted him with a cup of coffee and the news of a surprise and excruciating slow meeting with the ambassador, which led to another one with the CIA and then the atrocious combination of them both together. By the time Javi was freed from hell, everybody else were already leaving; due to your situation, he thaught that would be your case too, so he was surprised to see you still on your desk.
"I was waiting to see if you would need something else from me before I left" was your answer to the question on his face.
"I think I'm heading home too, actually" after a day like that, he felt like maybe he could even get some sleep.
He had work to do, yeah, and usually it didn't matter to him if his mind wasnt in the right place - it rarely was anyways -, but he knew nothing productive would result from working in that state. Javi also wanted to talk to you; he had so many thing in his mind, what he thought about during that whole previous night: he wanted you. So bad he didn't even know how to express it, so much he let himself cum in his pants just to get the little you were wailing to give to him. And he was concerned about what your reaction to that would be, because it was obvious that you wanted him too, but your actions showed him that you didn't want to want him. All those thoughts were consuming him, but it would have to wait for another day, he didn't think that was the right time, not at work. Maybe he could invite you for drinks and talk things through or-
"I was wondering if we could talk, too" you interrupt his thoughts "About yesterday"
If Javi wasn't a trained professional, he probably would've had his mouth opened in absolut shock. It was like you read his mind.
"Of course" you both looked around the department, the couple people remaining already preparing to leave. Still, he opened his office door and nodded for you to come in.
You were flustered, nervous even. Javi didn't know what to expect from that talk, he wished you would cave in to your needs and fuck him already, but he felt like you wouldn't be easy on him. Honestly, he couldn't read you.
The both of you stood akwardly in the middle of the room, door closed behind you. He waited patiantly for you to start talking, for you to take the lead of the conversation.
"So" you sighed "I wanted to apologise"
His face contorted in a deep frown "What for? You have nothing to apologise"
"I do, yes" you shook your head "It was completely irresponsible and unprofessional and we shouldn't have done that"
If you said you were embarressed last time, about the things you had said on the bar, Javi didn't know what you could possibly be feeling at that moment: your face was getting red, your eyes wouldn't meet his, your hands squeezed each other in your front; he kind of felt bad he was the cause of your discomfort.
"You didn't do anything by yourself"
"I jumped on you like a crazy-ass-horny woman!" over your shoulder, you look outside to see if there was anyone to witness your voice raising; there wasn't.
Javi could barely contain the smirk forcing itself upon his mouth at the memory of you riding him in that very same floor, just a few steps from where you stood. He really couldn't contain the beggining of an erection, though.
"And I loved that" you looked at him as if he was crazy for saying it "I did!" he took a few steps in your direction "And honestly, if anyone should be blamed it's me, I'm the boss, aren't I? The authority in the room or some shit like that"
The way you look at him said that you agreed, that he should be blamed too, should've had more self control, but you didn't say it and that made him smile, the way you still tried to keep your composure at work.
You sighed "Still, it wasn't right and I'm sorry"
"I'm not" he took another step towards you.
"It's not the point, sir"
"I don't think you are that sorry either" your brows raised in surprise "And fucking quit calling me 'sir' now, there's just us in here" another step.
"I'm just-" you shrugged "I'm trying to be professional, that's all"
"Baby we're a little too late for that now"
"Jesus Christ" you pinched the bridge of your nose, he could feel the frustration exhaling from you "You don't like to make things easy, do you?"
"What's the fun in that?" the joke landed flat "I have a proposal"
That got your attention "I don't think I like where this is going"
"Well, that's the thing" he took one more step "I think you do. You fucking grinded on me on this floor until we both came. You want me. What are you so afraid of?"
"You're my fucking boss!" your exasperation made him want to laugh and scream out of frustration at the same time "I like this job, I want to keep it"
"I would never put your job in risk"
"You can't be sure" it was true, Javi barely had a say in anything, but he would do anything in his power for you not to lose your job, especially because of him "And even if this" you pointed between the two of you "didn't make me lose it, it would be living hell if people found out"
"I can be discreet"
You crossed your arms "You're not taking me seriously"
"I am, I promise that I am" he really was "I just- You gave me a taste of what it would look like and now I'm starving for more" he scratched his chin, a little embarressed he let that slip out "I would do anything to have you for one night, we don't have to take work to the bedroom"
"Oh" you snorted "there's a bedroom in the scene now?"
"What?" he raised his brows "You thought I was fucking you in my office?" you went silent "You fucking did"
Javi is no romantic man, he thought about fucking you in every place possible, in the bathroom there, against the nearest wall, but when truly thinking about taking you, it would always be in a bedroom, somewhere you both would be able to take your time.
"Do you fantasize about it?" a step closer "Do you touch yourself thinking about me?" your eyes wouldn't meet his, so he carefully took your chin and angled your head until they did "Where?"
You gulped "Where what?"
"Where did you imagine?" his voice was barely above a whisper.
"Your desk"
"Fucking dirty woman" he smirked "I'm gonna fuck you on my desk, bebita" he took you by the waist, colliding your body to his "And on my couch" his nose traveled from your cheek to your neck "On the fucking window so eveyone can see how pretty you will look with my cock deep inside of you"
"Shit" your voice broke, breathless.
"Do you want it? Huh? To be full of my cock?" you nodded "I want words"
"Yes" you puffed.
"Yes what?"
You looked at him with a defiant look "Yes, sir"
He had to laugh "You are the worst"
His lips collided with yours with so much fierceness he was surprised they didn't start bleeding. His hands were all over your body, your breasts, your back, your ass. You pulled his hair with both hands and he moaned. Javi wanted you so bad it hurt. He decided to be bold and lifted you skirt to your waist, then placed you sitted on the edge of his desk, each of your legs on each side of his hips, pushing everything that was on your way to the floor, paying no attention to anything that wasn't you.
"I hate how you kiss me" you mumbled frustrated between kisses and he pinched his brows.
"You have a very distinct way to hate things"
"You just do it so well" your hands covered his cheeks "Makes me want to do this everyday"
Javi couldn't help but to smirk "I don't see why we can't"
"Yes, you do"
"All I see is a gorgeous woman with tasteful lips" he reached your covered mound and passed a finger through your folds, making you moan loudly ", wet lips" he smirked "telling me she wants to kiss me foverer"
You snorted "I didn't say that"
"That's what I heard"
"You are so cocky" you rolled your eyes.
"Damn right I am" Javi pressed his erection to your thigh.
"Yeah, I felt it yesterday" your hands went to unbuckle his belt, quickly reaching for his cock through his underwear and pumping him a couple of times "You're big, sir"
Javi moaned and threw his head back, enjoying the feeling, barely believing it was finally happening. You put down every piece of cloth in your way to his thighs, put your own panties to the side and started to guide him to your entrance.
"You think is gonna be that easy?" he murmured in your ear, dodging his dick to press on your clit instead, making you moan at the contact, but also groan out of frustration.
"After all this time, it should be"
"You know what I want to hear, baby" he peppered kisses on your neck while still grinding his dick from your clit to your entrance, you were so wet he knew you would have no difficulty to take him.
"Put this thing inside of me, already" you tried to move your hips to get more friction, frustration consuming you.
Even though Javi had a purpose of you to stop calling him 'sir', he could barely hold himself from sliping inside of you, so that's what he did. Your moan as he slowly made space for him inside of you will forever be in his mind. Javi cursed under his breath as your walls squeezed him and he had to take a moment to absorb the feeling. So warm, so wet, so tight, he was in heaven. But you were impatiant.
"Please, move"
"Say my name and I will"
"Why are you so attached to this?" you pinched your brows.
He did the same "Why are you so against saying it?"
You licked a stripe on his neck "To piss you off"
"That's okay" he smirked "You don't have to say it, I'm gonna make you scream it" he held your legs and roughly pushed inside expecting to hit your special place; by the way you gasped and grabbed him, he got it just right "Found it"
Javi ran his nose through your neck and your skin bristled "You're so sensitive here, aren't you, bebita?"
"I'm starting to think that you make me sensitive everywhere"
He laughed and stopped his movements again "Now that's a confession"
"What can I say?" you huffed "It seems like you make my mind go blank when you have your huge dick inside of me and won't. fucking. move"
He laughed and started to slowly take it out just to push it in again at the same speed.
"You're gonna fucking kill me" you whined "Please, faster"
"Are you needy, baby?" he licked your neck "I can feel you squeeze me. You're desperate for my cock, huh?"
"Yes"
"Yes, what?
"Yes, sir"
He increased the speed and you moaned louder "Unbelievable" his hips were reletless and he felt you getting tighter and tighter "You're almost there, aren't you, baby?" you couldn't speak, mouth half opened and nails digging into the skin of his arm "You like it rough, don't you?"
Then he stopped.
"What the fuck?" your voice is hoarsed.
"I'm fucking you slow, baby, is that a crime?" his smile was smudge
"You're evil" you whined, hips moving to find relief.
"I am evil? Who are you to talk about evil? You're fucking teasing me here, bebita. That's so wrong" he started to move slowly again "Just say my name and I'll let you cum"
You nodded your head no.
"Say it"
"No"
"Fucking say. It." he changed the angle to repeatedly hit that spot inside of you and pulled your hair until your back arched.
"Oh my God, Javi!" you screamed as you came hard on his dick, eyes closed tight, mouth opened and body tremblimg.
His name coming out of your mouth was like music to Javi's ears, and hearing it for the first time fomented something insane inside of him. He licked his thumb and pressed it hard against your clit, your eyes widened in surprise and he got a strangled sound out of your mouth as you came again, your body violently shaking under his hands.
"Oh shit, that's it, baby. You're fucking milking me. Shit, shit, shit."
His name was now floating through your lips like a hymn, and he loved to hear it.
"I'm gonna cum"
His words seemed to wake you from your trance "On my mouth"
"Shit" he steped away and out of you and one second later you were on the floor, knelt before him. You grabbed his dick with one hand, put the tip in your mouth and that's all it took for him to cum the hardest he had in his life. You sucked it, greedy until he had nothing more to give you "Let me see it, baby" he asked with a hoarsed voice, asking you to open your mouth, showing that you had swalloed it all "Fucking dirty woman"
You smirked and rested your forehead on his thigh, exausted.
"Come 'ere" he took your hand on his and got you to your feet, holding you against him by your waist "Can you walk?"
"I think I can learn how to do it again, yeah" he chuckled.
Javi lowered your skirt before sitting you on his desk again "How are you getting home?" he asked quietly as he slowly buttoned up your blouse, trying not to startle you and have you running away again.
"I'm taking a cab" you more gently than not stopped his fingers to continue the work yourself.
"Let me take you home" he fished your panties from the floor and put it in his pocked as he wore his pants again
"You don't have to"
"I know I don't. But I'm kind of worried if you will be capable to support yourself for enough time to call a cab after I fucked you this good"
You released the louder chuckle he had ever heard you give as you stood up "You're the absolute worst, Javier."
He started to get hard to the sound of his name on your lips.
"See? Perfectly stable" one of your eyebrows was raised and all he wanted to do was to kiss your attitude away.
"I guess I'll have to fuck you harder next time, then"
"I guess"
You both went quiet as you made your way out of the building and to his car, you only speaking to give him instructions to get to your place.
"There will be a next time, right?" he spoke as you left the car.
How silly of him to think that fucking you once would be enough, would make all the consuming desire go away, if something, it only made him want you more.
You took your time to look at him, as if staring directly to his soul and gave him a small smile.
"Good night, Javi"
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jeankluv · 8 months ago
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greetings! can you make a fluff gojo satoru story wherein on a random rest day, while smiling fondly at a busy satoru, admiring how amazing he is—being the strongest and all—you felt a pang in your heart as you thought of the big responsibility and burden he carries along with it. thinking how he never asked to be born with these heavy responsibilities wherein single mistake could cost a lot of lives. despite displaying his playful demeanor most of the time, you acknowledge and embrace his vulnerability and struggles. you praised, admire, praise, sympathized and praise him again. just gojo being reminded the reason why he loved you.
just a small plot i thought of inspired by the quote "it's his first time living too" while listening to mr. loverman, hehe. may i request kisses too. *heart hands* thank you!
I love when I get requests like this bc I love to write Gojo in this kind of situation 🥺
In fact I wrote a one shot, not long ago, similar to the request but only posted on ao3, you can check it here. But anyways, I wrote another one shot with your request, I hope you like it and enjoy it.
Let me be the strong one | Gojo Satoru
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Words: 1,3K
Summary: The higher-ups had sent him on several missions in a row, without letting him rest, without letting him teach, they had simply thrown him into the field and let him fight on his own. Now for the first time in three weeks you saw him rest.
Tags: fluff, angst, domestic fluff, establish relationship, Satoru needs a hug, Satoru best boy, gn!reader, no use of y/n, pet names (honey, my love, ‘Toru), canon universe but spoilers free
jjk materialist
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Your heart burned every time you saw him enter the door, sometimes almost falling to his knees due to the accumulated fatigue that his brain and body carried on top of him.
Gojo Satoru was the strongest, considered by many a God, someone superior. After all he was the one who had brought balance to the world with the simple birth of him. The one born with the six eyes and the infinity.
Sometimes you wish you could take it away from him, to be able to take away infinity and the six eyes, that he could live without that burden on his shoulders, without that duty that he never asked for. That he didn't have to hide his gaze behind a dark bandage. You wanted to take it away and just have it be Satoru. That he could rest and enjoy the things he liked.
You sat in the armchair that was on one side and watched how his chest rose and fell calmly and how his face was illuminated by the rays of the sun that filtered through your window, making his hair and white eyelashes stand out even more.
You loved that man so much, you were crazy in love with him and you have been ever since your high school years. You were not a special grader, you weren’t even that strong, so when your feelings for him started to surface when you were both 16, you felt scared. He was on another level, one you would never reach. At least that was the facade that Satoru showed to everyone, but as time and years passed with him, only you and him shared those sleepless nights where Satoru would knock on your door and wait for you to make room for him in your bed, to simply being hugged to each other and feeling your warmth intertwine with each other. Those moments had only caused you to fall more in love with him.
Luckily those feelings were reciprocated when you were 20 and now 8 years later they had not stopped growing.
“I can feel you observing me.” Satoru spoke with his eyes still closed.
“You should keep resting.” You whispered.
He sat on the couch and stretched himself up. “It’s okay, I had enough rest already.”
“‘Toru…” You said, feeling your heart ache.
“Honey, I’m really okay, don’t worry.” He smiled at you.
“You don’t have to be strong in front of me, you know?” You moved next to him. “Let me be the strong one for you. Let me take your pain too.” You whispered.
“You don’t have to take anything from me because there is…”
“I know you ‘Toru, and because I know you, I know you are not okay.” You cupped his face. So please let me take care of you, let me be your shield, even if it’s just for a moment.” He smiled sadly and then rested his head on your chest.
“I’m tired…” He whispered. “So tired. I love to fight and to face challenges but it’s tiring. Sometimes… I would like not to have this responsibility on me. From the moment I was born, I was already assigned a role, before I even cried for the first time, I was already the strongest, without asking for it.” You ran your fingers through his hair, trying to let him know that you were with him. “I never felt like I had a childhood, so when I entered the school and met you, Suguru and Shoko, I felt like being the strongest wasn't the important thing and that I could be me when I was around you.”
“‘Toru…” You whispered with a sad look.
“But then everything went down…” He said. “I couldn’t save everyone, I couldn’t prevent their deaths, I couldn’t…”
“Satoru, that’s not true…” You cupped his face making him look at you, his blue eyes were filled with tears. “You protected so many people and saved so many too.” With your thumb you caressed his face. “'Toru, you really are amazing, you are strong, yes, but above all that, you are a good person, full of love, who loves his students and wants the best for them.” You smiled. “But you are also human, and you need to rest and be taken care of. So please let me take care of you my love.”
Satoru didn’t say anything else, instead he laid his head on your legs and let you take care of him as you had asked him. A couple of minutes passed when you noticed how his breathing was calmer and how his eyes were completely closed and his mouth slightly open. He had fallen asleep. After carefully placing Satoru on the couch and tucking him in with a cozy blanket, you made your way to the kitchen with a purpose in mind: to prepare something special for him. Cooking had always been therapeutic for you, and in that moment, you felt it was the perfect way to show your concern and affection for him.
When the sweet aroma of the freshly baked cake filled the kitchen, you felt a wave of satisfaction and anticipation. You knew the gesture would be a pleasant surprise for Satoru, and you hoped it would bring him some joy.
Suddenly, as you focused on the oven, you felt two arms wrapping around you from behind. A warm smile spread across your face, knowing that Satoru was there with you, sharing the moment.
“You left…” He whispered.
“I wanted to make a cake for you.” You turned around to see him. “How are you feeling?” You touched his face.
“I am better.” He closed his eyes as you touched him. “You know I love you so much, right?”
“I know.” You smiled tilting your head. “And I love you too.” You kissed him.
“Thank you my love.” He kissed you back. “For understanding me the way you do and for loving me as Satoru not as Gojo Satoru, the strongest.” He smiled.
“For me, you are just my dear ‘Toru, my silly boyfriend who wants to act cool in front of his dear students, the one who loves to eat sweets and go to different places in Tokyo so he can eat all of the sweets in the world and likes to take pictures of those sweets, so then he can fill my phone with those pictures. My ‘Toru, who despite everything, always takes the responsibility, even if it’s too heavy for him, who will blame himself for things he can’t control, the one who wants to change this shitty society so the future generations can have the childhood he never had.” You smiled, getting emotional. “That’s the man I love, who loves me passionately and has never let me down.”
“Every day I am grateful for having met you and having fallen in love and continue to fall in love with you.” He hugged you, hiding his face in your neck. “Don't ever leave, please…” He whispered against your skin, before leaving a delicate kiss.
“Never…” You caress her back gently. “Oh!” You gasped when you started to smell it. “‘Toru the cake!” You stepped away from him and turned off the oven. Carefully removing it from the oven, you placed it on the counter. “It burned…” You whispered, looking at the burnt cake.
You felt Satoru approach you and place a kiss on his cheek. “Let's do another one, this time both of us together.” He smiled at you.
You nodded and kissed him, and it was at times like that where you wish you could take all of Satoru's problems, burdens and responsibilities off his shoulders, and throw them away, where they could never reach him.
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twig-tea · 5 months ago
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I haven't been posting about it week to week but I have been keeping up with My Love Mix-up (the Thai adaptation) and I'm still sitting with how badly this latest episode (ep7) is sitting with me. I just have to purge this so I can move on. Criticism of the adaptation below [including spoilers through to the end of episode 7 and very vague spoilers for the source material].
I wish these show writers would not try to shoehorn an adapted work into the bubble, because this line they are trying to walk is disturbing. By having an older gay character tell Atom that he shouldn't characterize his relationship as different, it's suggesting that societal norms and social expectations are not real, but are something Atom invented. His fear is treated as a joke and an overreaction, something to overcome, and everything I've heard from Thai people in the real world tell me that is very much not the case. This is such a different message from the original manga and Japanese live action, which were both about having the strength to defend your relationship in front of obstacles and trust the people in your lives who have earned it. There's a huge difference between learning not to live in fear even though there are realistic things to be concerned about, and learning your fear was misguided/not based in reality after all so you can just let it go. Queer kids should not be taught to not trust their instincts about who to trust with their truths.
This is the same mistake GMMTV made with the changes they made to 23.5, and it tells me their writers fundamentally don't understand internalized homophobia. You don't develop internalized homophobia in a homophobia-free bubble--kids are not born with it, it has to be learned. We are taught to hate ourselves by parents, by media, by teachers, by strangers...to set a show in a world where that is not a reality, and then to have characters have those fears anyway, is insulting and dismissive of where those fears come from and how they are based on realistic fears about potential outcomes. Gay kids do lose their families and have their lives blown up over the people they love--that is not a joke or an overdramatic statement.
I am really upset by this. It feels like these shows are saying queer people are foolish and delusional for being afraid. I've had people in real life tell me that my concerns were overdramatic before, and I've also seen people badly hurt because they didn't take the threat of homophobia seriously enough. I just...it's not that I worry this will be a model for anyone's behaviour. But this adaptation took a story about characters I could relate to, and changed them so that the show instead instead is invalidating my experience. It feels dehumanizing. In trying to be an escapist piece of media, this show instead became painful for me to watch. I sincerely hope I'm an outlier and other queer folks watching this didn't feel it in the same way, because I don't want other people to be feeling how I'm feeling right now.
I'll be walking away from this one.
@bengiyo I think you mentioned feeling similarly disturbed by this approach in your stray thoughts, so I'm tagging you in case you wanted to add on.
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cheapshrimpysheep · 1 year ago
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Meanwhile with Malleus
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SUMMARY: You spent a lot of time with Malleus while the others fought ghosts. What could have happened in all that time? You needed to sleep before the party. And maybe he taught you how to play the organ.
CHARACTERS: Malleus Draconia x Reader 🐉🦐
TAGS: Fluff, GN Reader, Cuddles, Flirting, Kissing
WARNING: Spoilers from Twisted Halloween: Spectral Soiree
WORD COUNT: 2.830 words
COMMENTS: The truth is that I started writing this a few weeks (maybe months) ago and it has been on hold for a long time. As this event returned to the Eng Server I decided to finish it and post it in October.
I hope you enjoy 💚
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After all that Halloween week, the Magicam Monsters and that parade, you were dead tired. You just wanted to rest after all that. But someone knocks on the door of Ramshackle Dorm.
“Tsunotarou?!” You didn't know whether to show that you were happy to see him or to ask if anything was wrong.
“Child of Man,” Malleus speaks with a smile “I'm here to invite you and the rest of the Ramshackle Dorm residents to an Halloween party at the Spectral Realm.”
You don't seem as happy about the idea as he thought you would be. And you were confused too. “A Halloween party? At the... what's the Spectral Realm?”
He briefly tells you about the ghosts and the party he plans to throw with the other NRC students at the Spectral Realm.
“I don't know if I can handle another party, Tsunotarou.” you say sadly “I'm really so tired.”
“Yeah...” Grim says “I mean, even if there's a feast, I still need to rest to have the energy to eat more.”
“Besides.” you look at the clock “Halloween is almost over.”
“Oh, don't worry about that little detail.” Malleus smiles and snaps his fingers. You stop listening to the clock ticking and when you look at the clock again it's eleven fifty-nine.
“Can you stop time?” you say almost in a whisper.
“You should know by now that I am capable of doing many things.” he smirk “But this spell is only affecting the Sage's Island. And about your tiredness, I'll let everyone else sleep until the party preparations are done, I can arrange a quiet place for you to rest in the Spectral Realm if you like.”
“We already sleep with ghosts so it shouldn't make much difference, right (Y/N)?” Grim says.
You sigh and end up accepting it. Malleus smile gladly and then looks at your tired posture.
“If you are also very tired from walking all day, I don't mind helping you.”
“Would you carry me in your arms?” you ask partly jokingly, partly hoping he would say yes.
He laughs, loving your boldness. “Are you sure you want to make such request?”
“Is that a no?”
“No, it is not a No. Fu fu. Honestly answering your question, yes, I would carry you if you needed. And yes, I would carry you to the Spectral Realm.” he smiles amusedly at you.
“Oh come on, just jump to his arms already or something!” Grim complains. “And do everyone a favour and get that room.”
You blush, Malleus laughs. “In fact, we should go. I don't want to keep Lilia waiting any longer. May I?” He asks you.
You nod and he picks you up, bridal style. One hand behind your knees and the other on your back. As easily as if you weighed nothing. Inevitably, you need to support yourself by putting your arms around his neck and your faces get very close. He’s smiling and his eyes looking at you affectionately.
“OI!” Grim complains again “My paws are hurting too. I also want to be carried.”
Malleus laughs again. “That can be arranged.” He turns his back to Grim and wraps his draconic tail around the little beast's waist. “MRAH!” And picks his up. “You are able to come by yourselves, correct?” he asks the three ghosts who have been watching in secret from you.
When you arrive at the Mirror chamber, Lilia was there waiting for you all. He just didn't expect Malleus to bring Grim with his tail and you in his arms. First Lilia worries.
“Oh! Did something happened? Did (Y/N) get hurt on your way here?”
You get even more embarrassed. Mainly because you knew that Malleus would tell Lilia the truth.
“Fu fu fu. Don't fret, Lilia.” Malleus smiles, like he's glad Lilia saw the two of you like this. “Child of Man is just really tired of walking all day and asked me if I could carry them.”
Lilia looks at you and gives you his sly smile. “Oh, truly? Fu fu fu. How daring for a human.”
“Can we go to that ghost world already?!” you hear Grim's voice complaining. “This is not that comfortable you know.” Malleus flicks his tail to the side, revealing to Lilia a Grim caught in a black dragon's tail. And Lilia starts to laugh heartily, almost bringing tears to his eyes.
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Malleus only put you back on the ground when you arrived at the Sparkling Chamber. You took a moment to admire the place. But it didn't take long for you and Grim to start yawning.
“Ah, yes. I promised you that I would find you a place to rest.” Malleus remembers.
“Indeed, (Y/N) must rest.” Lilia says “I sure know how harmful lack of sleep can be to a human. If I'm not mistaken, I think there are some rooms beyond this Chamber that you can use.”
Malleus would go with you to find a room while Lilia started getting the chamber ready for the party.
You found a good one, but it had no furniture or what little it had was broken. You comment on trying to find another one, but Malleus says that won't be necessary. With a snap of his fingers the room is cleaned and the furniture repaired.
In one corner of the small room was an antique carved pine single bed. The sheets were white and the cover a pale purple. Similar to Malleus' own bed in Diasomnia. Grim jumped to the foot of the bed and was asleep in seconds. You, on the other hand, look a little unease.
“I can change your clothes to pajamas with magic if it makes you more comfortable.” Malleus suggests.
You say that would help a lot, so he gestures and your Halloween costume changes to pale green pajamas. It was comfortable, like the bed you sit on. But even so, there was still something that didn't leave you completely at ease.
“I know I sleep in a dorm with ghosts now.” You explain. “But I only sleep well today because I've gotten used to them and the dorm has had some improvements. But I almost couldn't sleep the first few nights. I don't know if I'll be able to fall asleep here.”
“I see. Would you feel more rested if I stayed by your side until you fell asleep?” He was smiling, like he was sure you were going to say no.
When you say yes, he is taken aback for a moment. His bright green eyes looking at you wide open in astonishment. But then he remembered who he was talking to and laughed with the greatest of joys. He smiled warmly at you. “You know, I believe some children want company to fall asleep so that person can protect them from me. This is... an interesting... no, delightful turn of events. I dare say”
You open the sheets and lie down. After placing them on top of you and settling down on the bed, Malleus sits down beside you. He could use magic to put you to sleep, but he didn't want to. He wanted to see if you genuinely felt comfortable around him to the point where you could fall asleep.
“Briar Valley has many lullabies.” He tells you, with the softest of voices. “Sleep and dreams are deeply embedded in our culture. Would you like me to sing you one of our lullabies? Allowed me to guess, your answer is yes.”
“You can't make a proposal like that and expect me to say no.” You say with a soft smile and already with your eyes closed.
Malleus chuckles and happily fulfills your request. He sings to you in a sweet tone, that becomes even more affectionate when he looks at your sleepy smile.
When he finishes, you are already fast asleep. He is smiling looking at you and take one of his hands to your head. But stop before touching you, hesitating. As if he's afraid that the moment he touches you, you'll startle awake. But even so, he took the risk.
He puts his hand on your head, stroking your hair. And you don't wake up. Actually, your smile comes back slightly. He is so happy about it. And he decides to risk it just one more time.
He leans over you and kisses your forehead. And you were still sleeping. “Dream of me. As I dream of you.”
He stayed with you for a while longer. Before he finally left to assist with the party preparations, he did two things. First, he cast another spell so that outside noises wouldn't disturb your sleep. And second, he put a paper on your bedside table in case you wake up earlier than necessary. It said that since you had no way of knowing if you slept too much or too little, because time was still, you didn't have to worry that he would wake you up when the time came.
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And that is what happened. You feel a kiss on your cheek and a familiar voice in a sweet tone saying your name. You open your eyes to find Malleus's bright green ones looking at you, over a sweet smile.
“We hear that the other students have already woken up and are on their way here.” Malleus explains, sitting on your bed watching you stretch. “So we figured you should have gotten enough rest too. Did you sleep well?”
“I did. Thank you so much.” you sit on the bed.
“For asking?” He seems confused that you would thank him so much for something so trivial.
“No. For what you've done. For fixing the room, giving me a comfortable bed and mostly staying with me until I fall asleep. I probably wouldn't have been able to sleep here without you.” You hear snoring at the foot of your bed, behind Malleus who was facing you. “Unlike Grim.”
Malleus seems very happy about what you said. And there was something he really wanted to ask you. “Do you happen to remember what you dreamed? People dream every night, but sometimes they forget about them and that's why they think they didn't dream that night.”
A dream? You think. And yes, you remember! But you say it was a silly dream. When the truth is, you're slightly embarrassed.
“I've heard that the silly dreams can be the most meaningful.” Malleus says. “I would love to hear about yours. But if it's something you don't want to tell me, I understand. Dreams can be extremely personal.”
You think about it. It was no dream that I couldn't tell anyone. It was even...cute. So you decide to tell him.
You remember you were in a forest, for some reason. You lived there? You had lots of animal friends and you remember singing and dancing with them. What you were singing... you recognize... it was the lullaby Malleus sang to you. There was an owl wearing the cape of the Houseworden of Diasomnia, a rabbit in each black boot with green heels, and a squirrel with a small pillbox hat, balancing on top of the owl's head.
When you finish describing this part, both you and Malleus are laughing. “I wouldn't be surprised if I ever witness the same scenario with Silver's clothes.” Malleus comments between laughs. But you hadn't finished telling the dream yet.
As you danced with the animals, someone appeared behind you and continued singing and dancing with you, making that song a duet. When you turn around, you find Malleus.
“Did I scared you?” He asks about the Malleus in the dream. He was smiling, but you knew that wasn't his real smile. It was a smile that hid some apprehension.
“No, of course not. I was very happy to meet you there.” He looked like you had lifted a weight off his shoulders with just those words of yours. The next thing you remember is dancing with Malleus in a ballroom. and what you were wearing was constantly changing color because... Two Lilias? Were arguing about whether you should be wearing green or purple.
And with that the two of you started laughing again. Malleus said you should tell that last part to Lilia, he'll love it.
“I dreamed of flying tuna cans.” Grim said, to prove that he too was already awake. "But I couldn't catch any. It was a nightmare.”
“Fret not, Grim. There will be plenty of food for you when everyone arrives and the party begins.” Malleus assured him. “And now that you two are awake, I should change your clothes back.” He wave his hand and Grim's hat and cap come back, but this time they're green instead of purple.
He gets up from your bed and holds out his hand to you, like one of those gentleman helping you out of the carriage. You give him your hand and get out of the bed. Then he surprises you by spinning you, like the dance move.
When the spin ends your clothes have changed. But not like Grim's that stayed the same, just changing the colour. Your clothes were also green now, where once were purple, but they weren't the same as the ones the ghosts gave you. It looks like an improved version, with more details and accessories. Malleus looked at you as if admiring you and proud of his work.
“How do I look?” you ask.
“Wonderful.” He simply says with a smile, as if it were an obvious truth.
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He offers you his arm for you to walk arm in arm into the Sparkling Hall. He tells you about the plans for the party as you walk down the hall and explains about the mirror ball. And when he tells you that he plans to play the organ during the party you are so excited and curious that you ask him if he could play something for you.
He smiles. “I think there will be no problem. I may even take this opportunity to practice.” He takes you to the organ and asks you to sit next to him while he plays.
It's no surprise that he plays beautifully. You look at him playing which practically hypnotizes you. Your ears appreciate music while your eyes appreciate him.
He looks at you smiling, as if he knew you were looking at him the whole time. He lets you get flattered, he loves seeing you like that, before asking you: “You can play?”
“Organ? Oh no, I don't.”
“Would you like to try? We have plenty of time until the guests arrive. I can teach you a simple melody.”
You accept his offer. He smiles happily.
“I'm glad. I'm eager to hear you play. Even if it is a basic song. However, forgive me if this is an impolite question, but would you mind sitting on my lap while I teach you? it will be easier for me to show you the keys and the correct way to move your fingers from a similar perspective as yours.”
You try to say you don't mind without showing how happy you really are. However, it's not that easy, and he laughs with delight that you not only don't mind but are happy with the suggestion.
You sit on his lap and hear a soft sound on the floor behind you. You glance back and Malleus tries to hide his draconic tail whose tip was happily wagging. You don't hide your giggle. Your back finds his chest, his hands cover yours to indicate the keys you should play and he begins to teach you a simple but beautiful song.
After a few minutes, you forget the world. It's just you, Malleus and the organ. You fail a few notes and he corrects you with a laugh. When you get it right you hear him congratulating you and saying you're doing well. And all the while you can feel the affection he has for you, the gentle way he holds your hands, the sweet way he talks to you even when you miss the notes. Until you end up reaching the end of the song.
“Wonderful.” Malleus says with a sweet and dreamy voice “That was the most beautiful play I ever heard.”
“But I failed so many notes.” You remember him, smiling.
“I'm very aware of that. But it was the first thing I heard you play. So it will always be special to me from now on.” he takes his hands out of yours and hugs you around the waist. And lay his head on your shoulder. “You will always be special to me.” he whispers in your ear, and kiss your cheek.
You hear that sound of his tail wagging happily on the ground behind you again.
If you decide to tip your head back, tell him how you feel about him and allow him to kiss your lips, you will receive the most loving kiss and he will hug you tighter.
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If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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