#didn't mean to get so sentimental but im tired and just thinking about everything ive done thus far

[kayrockerqog]

imma compress all my td2023 season two thoughts into one post, so spoilers below particularly for the final four/five episodes

Okay so, I can't be the only one who's super tired of Caleb by the end of the season, right? Like, no, I don't dislike him as a character necessarily, hell, we didn't have much to go off of for a GOOD while, and I'm certainly glad they actually gave him some substance. But like...really? Putting him in the FINALE? Extending his arc so long that it keeps PRIYA in until the final FOUR?? It just makes them both feel like they overstayed their welcome, especially when people like Damien, Zee and Raj got shafted in favour of their plotline, which was ultimately super exhausting compared to others. It also just felt a little...off, especially for Caleb's teammates in the finale basically being "Team Not Julia," that just felt...so sad. And not in a way that was really earned since he was super wishy-washy for the latter half of the game, especially after Damien was eliminated. Like girl how can you go from having nothing to having too much?? What is this, rags to riches? And just to get all of the kinda low points of the season IMO:

Damien was just straight up robbed, and his elimination left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth?? Like there ain't no way DAMIEN would be dumb enough and/or not paranoid enough to NOT take the idol with him to elimination, like, ON HIS PERSON. I don't care that it was hidden at the campfire, there is no way anyone with his personality, especially after saying he moves the damn thing like four times a day, would NOT KEEP IT ON HIM DURING THE CEREMONY!! That's just an unnecessary risk and it got him taken out. Also, Priya voting him out made DOUBLE no sense, like I get Wayne and Raj being sentimental and all but why would Priya vote him over someone else?? I'm still not over Zee's elimination either. Like, yeah, I get why, he spilled a bunch of tea about everybody, but did they just FORGET THE FIRST AND ARGUABLY MOST IMPORTANT BIT OF TEA??? THAT CALEB WAS FUCKING WITH PRIYA'S HEAD??? Why did they spare him of that? Caleb should've gotten more fucking consequences for not updating Zee on the development, especially when you made him PROMISE NOT TO SAY ANYTHING!!! However, there's a lot of good stuff too that I absolutely adored about the later episodes:

MK and Julia's farewell felt really fitting, even if I felt MK should've stayed over her, plus the hug??? the mutual respect??? Chef's commentary???? real. Raj and Wayne continue to be completely endearing, both with Raj's elimination and Wayne's obvious love and care for him even when he's not there. I mean FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, his worst fear at the time was having to compete AGAINST Raj instead of with him!!! How precious is that?? Plus the HUG????? RAJ'S FAREWELL?????? EVERYTHING ABOUT IT HAS ME SO GIDDY MAN!! "Bowie, get your dancing shoes!" me, being buried in a pile of the hearts swirling around my head and also just, Bowie in the finale being an icon, as usual, even if he isn't competing. His friendship with Wayne as a result of his relationship with Raj and how he's adapted to their ways of thinking is SO!!!!! GAH!!!!!! HE LEARNED THE HOCKEY TALK!!!!! IM WEAK!!!!!! And everyone on Wayne's team being so genuinely happy to support him, especially those I genuinely would not have expected to be there (Axel, Ripper, Chase) but when I think about it, it makes PERFECT sense, and I'm just,,, AGH!!!!! And while the final three and winner may not have been my first choices, I am ultimately pleased with the ending. Wayne winning makes up for the exhaustion of other plotlines in the season, and really, he played fair and square and won. Much as I wanted Julia to win, I'm glad he did.

now that ive actually seen all the episodes I'm gonna be,,, insane and reblog so much td stuff because obviously, so,, AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS FEEL FREE!!! I WOULD LOVE TO TALK MORE IN DEPTH ABOUT MY THOUGHTS OF THE SEASON!!

[inawickedlittletown]

i feel like ive prefaced so many anon asks in the bt community over the past day with 'as a bi woman' when weighing in on stuff thats happened lately but like... can i just say... i'm lowkey reaaaal tired of people going "bisexuals have more options!" bc it lowkey feels like we're not allowed to have standards or preferences just bc we're attracted to more than just the opposite sex lmao ??? like sorry tim i actually didn't gain 50% more options when i realized my sexuality bc im not fully attracted to literally everyone i see, i still have preferences like loving brown eyes! lol this is probably just a petty gripe to have but its a sentiment i tend to see a lot (sometimes even taken to a biphobic place of 'bisexuals will fuck anything bc they don't have standards they're attracted to Everyone')

It sucks that everything Tim and Oliver have said just doesn't take into account how it will come off to the queer community, but especially to bisexual men and women who live in the world where biphobia is real and so many people really don't take it seriously and see it the way you're describing it.

It's why straight people will never be able to accurately portray the experience...because they can drop things like "gaining 50% more options" and mean it without seeing how that comes off.

I do think that speaking specifically about Buck I guess we can say that Tim sees Buck as someone that has no preferences? Or that he doesn't know his preferences? It does feel regressive for his character but I mean S1 Buck would literally sleep with anyone and everyone and every one of his relationships has been with widely different women before Tommy So I can see where he's coming from in a way...

But I get the frustration.

[maxillo]

so. it's been a year since i made this post, and it certainly got more attention than i was expecting, but since then ive had a couple of realizations and changes of my view on things.

the adhd nervous system is fundamentally different, but that by itself doesn't make it a disorder. it's just a different nervous system with its own strengths and drawbacks. really, that's the heart of what neurodiversity even means - it's variations in wiring. adhd is only considered a disorder because it negatively affects the ability to operate in a neurotypical society, which isn't well-suited for the ways adhd folks operate. were there to be more systems in place to accommodate and accept them like anyone else, that notion would disappear. it's debilitating because there aren't enough resources out there and widespread education or acceptance, and because being forced into neurotypical expectations worsens things for their mental health in the long run.

now that's not saying that everything negative that comes with adhd would disappear in an idealistic situation - the operating difference here, however, would be that they get the support they need to be able to cope with those things and live their lives free of judgement from others, to just be themselves and do things the way that works for them best, and to not be shamed for struggling with certain things.

adhd in its own name is a bad name for adhd. ive seen others point that out before, but it didn't really, truly settle in me until recently. adhd is a TERRIBLE name for adhd. it's identified based off of its most outwardly "disordered" traits that pose the most obstruction to functioning and blending in with a neurotypical society. the entire approach to it so far in that area has been from a stilted perspective, and i think that affects a lot of other things, too. it creates a false stereotype of behavior that i mentioned in the earlier post, and because there isn't very much widespread awareness of how adhd really works, the true depth and complexity of it likewise goes ignored and unaware to most people.

hell, it's so bad that still to this day i see a lot of confusion over adhd vs. add, which one is still used, and whether you can fluctuate between them. per current terminology, add has become obsolete as a diagnosis and replaced instead with three different variations to adhd; predominantly inattentive, predominantly hyperactive, and combined. but even then, using the namespace of adhd, knowing what we're learning now about it, is misleading and inaccurate and desperately needs to be approached by the medical community in a radically different way. my god, we're STILL having PROFESSIONALS try to argue that adhd doesn't exist, much less the average blogger and/or parent who isn't one. not only is it still not being treated as seriously by society at large, even the fucking people who are trained in and dedicate their lives to the study of the brain are spouting this shit. and that's not even including the fact that, again, many aspects of adhd still are barely researched or understood, including its emotional components. who knows what else we're missing from the picture because researchers decided early on they would focus on the external symptoms rather than how the actual thing is fucking working from the inside?

im just... so tired. im tired of this. this NEEDS to change, radically, and there NEEDS to be more awareness of what adhd really is. admittedly i do have some level of sentimental attachment to the name just because the acronym by itself a.d.h.d. always had a nice ring to it for me, but its a fundamental mischaracterization of what it really is (at least, the full name of it is, not the acronym by itself). the name is, as sad as i am to say it, contributing to the overall problem. that being said, it would obviously take a lot of time and resource boosting to shift the terminology in such a drastic way, so by no means am i saying this to rail against people who use it. for all intents and purposes, im still going to be using it for the time being so that people know what im talking about, but ideally i think it would be a good first step to find something more accurate and less contingent on labeling it as merely the sum of its most external and "disruptive" symptoms.

what bothers me most abt mainstream understanding of adhd is that it’s effectively “not as severe”. that it’s just comedic relief, funny, quirky, limited to just distractibility and hyperactivity (“look, a squirrel!”), and something that you can grow out of or only affects children - or, even worse, nonexistent and just an “excuse” to blame otherwise normal hyperactive behavior in children.

the adhd brain and nervous system is wired completely differently. rsd wasn’t even given a name until recent times due to the heavier focus on what was more easily observable, which was - surprise - attention and hyperactivity. i didn’t even know emotional dysregulation in general was a symptom until 6 or so months ago, and ive had the incredible luck and comfort of being diagnosed early in childhood and taking meds that work for me which a whole lot of other people did not and still do not have access to. and still, not knowing that one symptom seriously took a toll on me because it significantly controls how i interact with people. i avoid rejection at all costs. i’m hyper-aware of the reactions of people around me and actively curb my behavior to fit what i think would be “acceptable”. and even the smallest subconscious thought that some part of something i say or do could be interpreted as “bad” is enough to deter me from doing it at all, whether or not it’s actually there (and it usually isn’t). the feeling of being held to a negative observation terrifies me more than anything else - that somehow, it will permanently damage how the person sees me, and that i won’t have been able to predict this thing ahead of time to avoid it. while i’ve improved with this fear given time, it still hinders me in many ways that it would not for others without the disorder, and if i had known about it, i wouldn’t have believed for so long that it was my fault, and i was just somehow irreversibly inferior to everyone else around me and always destined to make the wrong decision.

adhd is a disorder. it is debilitating. it affects your daily life. it is not just some funny quirk or something to dismiss as behavioral issues. it should be taken far more seriously, and the fact that it isn’t is exactly what’s hurting us.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

INFP 4w5 back :) Thanks for answering things! I'm sorry I didn't give enough information to actually have you help me - I will do so now! I am 24. I love reading stories, both for the emotional connection to characters, and then fun of imagining myself in their adventures (I mainly read fiction). I am an artist and a writer - I do so because I enjoy expressing my views, experiences, and insights in beautiful/interesting/creative ways. I also love the act of creating in general - my mind is very

INFP cont: busy, and it helps me either slow that down or connect my brain to my body (I admittedly spend way more time in my head, but working with my hands and brain at the same time helps me feel connected to the outside world). 

So before I go on: this was a very long ask and I will therefore be ‘interrupting’ throughout in bold for my typing logic rather than rephrasing stuff down at the bottom.

Placing yourself in the story: that’s often the goal of stories anyway (and why self-insert is a whole thing) but it is consistent with Fi. Self-expression is something a lot of people like but it is particularly important to 4s. Brain-body connection as described here makes me think more Ne-Si axis but it’s hard for me to quite articulate why so...don’t quote me.

I like hanging out with my family and close friends - I hate being in crowds or in the spotlight. I find them overstimulating but also boring and I don't know what to do with body or what to say.

Pretty consistent for introverts who are intuitive (not just introverts who are intuitive but I’m going into this assuming it’s an INFP vs. INFJ thing unless I see blatant evidence for high Si or Se which so far I don’t.

I love being in nature - this is a new thing though, noticing nature for itself has only started happening since I was 20. I always liked the way it made me feel but didn't pay much attention to it in a sensory way until recent years. Now I love how peaceful and happy it makes me, how physically beautiful it is, but also all the ideas it generates in me - I think everything in nature is a symbol for something and it so fun trying to guess what those things are, or to make art out of things I find in the woods.

Could be either Ne-Si or Ni-Se for what it is; the age of onset is making me think tertiary sensing, plus the guessing the symbol rather than being more decisive makes me think Ne.

I also really love history and fantasy. History because I ideloize old ways of doing things (like gardening, pioneering, etc) ideal and exciting. I try to incorperate those things into my life and would like to be a homesteader or live in a bus one day, because it feels really free, and also I think connects us back to the way humans are meant to live.

Idolization of an idealized past is often weaker Si (nostalgia/sentimentality are often low Si things, contrary to popular belief that it’s higher Si. Seriously, talk to the average ESTJ, they have no nostalgia unless something changed drastically for the less efficient.)

I care a lot about people and social justice, but it tires me out, so I don't actually spend a lot of time engaging. I like listening to my friends and helping them sort out their feelings. I used to be really bad at DOING things for my friends, but I started to realize it was hurting them, so I am trying more and more to not just be a listening ear, but actively engage in their lives. I'm always torn between wanting to help people and make the world a better place, and just being free and doing what I want and find life giving.

At this point I’m already as you can tell leaning towards INFP much more. This also seems more INFP, with your Fi slowly realizing and maturing to a point where you are better able to care for others and meet them on their terms rather than your own.

I think A LOT, and I am very interested in understanding theories, concepets, anazlying people.

All intuitives like concepts, and while I dislike the assertion that introspection is the sole purview of introverts or intuitives, they definitely do it a lot.

Why I'm wondering if I might be an INFJ instead of an INfP? Mainly because two people I respect mentioned they thought I might be.

Yeah...without more than just “caring & empathetic” I wouldn’t put too much weight on it.

I had always thought I was just an INFP (MAYBE an ISFP, but I don't feel like a doer enough or in touch enough with the physical world - other then finding it super beautiful and day dreaming about it).

I’d agree, I’m really not getting much Se from your asks.

But they specifically thought my Fe seems very high - I am emotionally expressive, I care a lot for others, and I'm very sensitive to the emotional feel of people/places/situations.

So, sensitive to the emotional feel and emotional expressiveness are just feeler things. Without rephrasing the whole Fi/Fe post I always refer back to, I find that while high Fi users’ feelings tend to come from a more internalized place sometimes or are less typical in some of their reactions, they still are pretty emotionally expressive especially compared to your average thinker. There are a lot of very reserved IxFJs and very expressive IxFPs and the uneven stereotypes of constantly crying INFPs/IxFJs hiding their emotions for the sake of harmony hammer that point home.

I also tend to get hunches about situations and people, like what might happen or that I should/shouldn't do something, or about why someone is upset/happy, and am right pretty often (is that maybe dom Ni? with some Fe? or is that also Ne?)

Hunches can be anything; intuition is specifically preferring them over physical evidence (sensing is the opposite, so sensors often ignore their hunches if there’s evidence otherwise). Hard to tell because hunches are also related to thin slicing in neuroscience which is just a brain thing. Also this can be Si that you don’t realize is working - like, you’ve seen it before, but don’t consciously realize it.

I also wonder if my constant thinking and trying to figure things out (like obsessively trying to figure out my type) is Ti?

Eh, humans are curious and we all like to think. Ti is a specific approach to logic that for some reason got credit for way more (hint it was David Keirsey)

And I love talking about my feelings and am very comfy with it, which apparently lots of INFPs aren't?

Some aren’t, some are, see stuff above re: emotional expressiveness.

I also avoid conflict in public - I don't avoid it at all with my family, I avoid it moderately with good friends, and won't get into public debates. However, I will speak up in public if I think someone is doing something really wrong.

Could be enneagram 9 which is pretty common in Fi doms; it’s also just part of upbringing, that it’s not polite to start an argument in a lot of social situations, but okay with people you’re close with or if it’s something egregious.

I feel like I have a hard time expressing my opinions well verbally (Im fine writing), and it makes me afraid I won't say what I actually mean, and I also am afraid of the rage I feel in conflict and don't want to hurt others feelings by unleashing that.

W/r/t expression, that sort of conflicts with some of the emotional expressiveness you’d mentioned earlier, but either way tracks more with introversion than anything else. Fear of strong anger makes me wonder if you’ve enneatyped yourself correctly, though obviously I can’t tell if it’s your greatest fear. But I’d take a seriously look at 9 gut fixes.

I also don't like people trampling on my beliefs, so often just won't express them with those I'm not real close to. But I've read that high Fi users don't avoid conflict, and high Fe users do? And I am very willing to consider other people's points of view and MAYBE change my opinion, but thats pretty rare. I'm also a very empathetic listener - I think before speaking, ask good questions, and make noises to assure them im listening, which Ive also read is Fe. is that enough info?

Not liking people trampling on beliefs is pretty universal - even people who behave in an extreme doormat way usually don’t particularly like it deep down. For conflict avoidance see notes on enneagram 9. Openness to other points of view could come from Ne seeing different options, or Fi accepting other’s opinions as being able to coexist with your own usually; it’s also just a healthy adult thing to do regardless of type. Same goes for listening - those are all learned skills and so ask yourself if you did those when you were younger. I did mostly by the time I was 24 but I sure didn’t when I was 17, whereas people with higher feeling, and to some extent higher Fe more than Fi, tend to pick those up a bit more naturally and therefore earlier.

ah one last thing! I take a very long time to make descions - I want to make sure I'm doing/getting the best/right thing. which also seems not very INFP?

Not sure where you got that idea - indecisiveness until you know the optimum response is EXTREMELY INFP. Specifically Ne.

And I get very afraid of not having the idealized visions and dreams of the future I crave - I'm okay with the exact details being flushed out over time, but there are general dreams I will not give up. I've read thats more Ni then Ne?

It is but given the context of everything else, I think this can come from Fi if you see those dreams as identity, and ultimately everyone has goals and dreams.

Oh shit, thought of more things. I SUCK at finishing things - it takes crazy hard work for me to finish a project. I just get... bored and move on. Or procrastinate because other things are more interesting in the moment. But I'm also fairly academic and analytical - can INFP's be that? I find it very stimulating and when Im interested in a topic I want to learn EVERYTHING about it and understand it fully. And I hate when I have a mental problem that I can't solve. I will obsess.

INFPs can be analytical but it’s not your primary way of going about the world (nor is it for INFJs for that matter). Do you like it a lot in specific, lower-pressure contexts (say, academia)? That can be you exploring lower functions. It’s worth considering how you go about being analytical, and whether it seems more Te or Ti. The unsolved problem issue also depends on context, and learning everything can be Ne wanting all the information to fuel a very divergent thought process.

INFP 1,000: And I forgot the thing. I also orgionally started questioning because of my love for sensing things - I love physical beauty in home decor, nature, clothes, etc, and I love being in nature. When I was a teen and very stressed/unwell I overindulged in sensory things like sex/food/drinking/cutting, because it made me feel alive. In the same way now, engaging my senses in healthy ways makes me feel alive. But I do feel pretty crap at it. Which made me wonder if I had inferior Se.

OK so this isn’t directed at you but good lord does inferior Se get almost as much of a mythical out of proportion blow-out as dom Ni. A lot of inferior Se-credited unhealthy behaviors, while definitely present in dom Ni users, are also fairly universal. Namely, all the sensory things you mention will lead to endorphin rushes (hence the feeling alive - it’s brain chemistry) and all are pretty common coping mechanisms for depression, anxiety, or stress to the point that two of them are on the PHQ-9 depression screening. You would be hard pressed to find someone who’d never indulged in at least one under stress, and most people have indulged in several. This has been my PSA that typing based on inferior Se behaviors is a dangerous game for exactly that reason.

Anyway: overall, I see strong evidence for INFP and I’d look at enneagram 9 for some of the more conflict avoidant parts; perhaps more than 4 even though it could just be a strong 9 gut-fix as the second part of your tritype, and maybe a 5 head fix for the analytical stuff. Unless you have more details on the people who typed you INFJ I can’t really refute their arguments,but I see much more INFP for the reasons above.