#did you see the new poster?? with the clock cartoon and everything??

[islesnucks]

why hello there some Q's for you!

Of all the Isles roster, who (3) would you pick to be your bridesmaids?

Same thing as above but Philly edition

FMH: PLD, Nate Mackinnon, Jakob Markstrom

Are you a keys on lanyard gal, or keys shoved in your pocket gal? (I 99% of the time have them shoved in my pocket lmao)

Where is your dream vacation spot?

sending you all the love <3

good morning!!

casey so he can give me one of his hugs, martin or anders to give a tear-jerking speech and tito or barzy to plan the Bachelorette party

G for the fatherly speech and the new superior bromance bee and wade because i know it would be hilarious

ok this one was so hard like probably the hardest you've sent me but ... fuck pld, marry marky and hug nate

i dont even know where my keys are right now im lucky theres always someone home to open and close for me

I'd die to go to rome like I studied so many old buildings from there I'd love to actually experience them and be there

now some qs for you:

(gonna steal this one cause it was awesome) 3 players from isles/flyers/wings to be your bridesmaids?

are you the kind to leave your phone charging till it's at 100% or constantly plugging it and unplugging it? (im the last one and always ruin my battery)

a movie you'd 100% recommend me to watch?

if you could suddenly be fluent in any language which one would you choose?

funny socks with colors and patterns and everything or plain socks?

[nincompoopydoo]

DEBRIS AND MISERY

WELCOME BACK, AGENT ; PART 4 / ?

PAIRING: Loki Laufeyson x Female!Reader WORD COUNT: 2.5k SUMMARY: You're back at your desk job at the TVA, suffering the consequences of your mistakes that led to your crash on Sakaar. However, Mobius has a better job for you than doing just paperwork. A/N: I feel like this one has more platonic mobius x reader than loki x reader lol but you know, this loki is meeting her for the first time again. please leave comments, criticism or love, whatever, I love to hear from you guys who are reading this. enjoy xo gif by @alligatorlokis from this gifset WARNINGS: Swearing. Paperwork. support my writing through ko-fi💖 MASTERPOST ; MASTERLIST

The sweet musky smell almost lulls you to sleep as you skim through the case file of a Loki variant, pictures and text of monochrome glaring under the unforgiving fluorescent office lighting. It’s a harsh reminder of your mishap; a simple overlook during a mission that sent you crashing onto the wasteland of Sakaar. According to the reports as you stood on the pedestal, pleading your innocence to the judge, you were there for an estimated 600 years. Maybe more.

The thought of spending six centuries stranded on a planet sends a wave of pain through your skull—it’s overwhelming information but unsurprising. You do feel like you’ve spent 600 years on that God-forsaken planet.

Now, your once fugitive days have been replaced with the return of being trapped behind a desk and having to recount every event that took place during your time there. Word for word. You despise the TVA’s love of paperwork—it’s a fucking nightmare.

The collar of your shirt feels itchy against the back of your neck, bringing your nails to graze it furiously.

You decide to ignore Miss Minutes' cheery voice despite your agitation, your name rolling off her southern accent. It hints at her chagrin towards your disregarding nature.

"Are you even listenin' to me?"

Her voice lacks all sense of her once constant sunny disposition. You spare the projection a glance, watching her rubber-hose-like arms curve to her where you assume her hips would be. She looks at you with an expectant raised brow. You don’t say anything, keeping eye contact as you snatch an empty event report template, spinning in your swivel chair and away from the glowing tangerine clock.

With pursed lips, you swipe the scatter of mess away, revealing an orange typewriter that sits idly within the expense of your stacks of case files and your collection of vintage Earth cassettes. You hear Miss Minutes' sigh as she strides to the other end of your desk, perching on top of a dusty stack of pending paperwork.

“C’mon, it’s just a test,” the animated clock says. You spare her another look as you feed the report template into the roller forcefully. Bing! The return bar dings unceremoniously as it nearly startles Miss Minutes off the stack.

“That is exactly why I’m refusing to listen to you,” you mutter with annoyance, fingers already flying across the keyboard, punching letters onto the event summary section. The loud clickety-clack of the keys makes it impossible to hear over it. “I don’t get why I need to take a test when I clearly know everything I need to know.”

“Well, you were gone for a very long time and we just wanna test your memory on policies and procedures here at the TVA—”

“Then, why didn’t they come and get me earlier? From the moment I stepped foot on Sakaar, I did everything I could to create a Nexus event or even just a spike and you only came when? When I met Loki.”

Your eyes are now on her startled figure, clicks and clacks coming to an abrupt end. You’re upset over your arrest, the whole hoo-ha at the courtroom, and everything before that. Your behavior is nearly childish but understandable to those who express empathy. You feel like you were being used, prioritizing the capture of the Loki variant that has been causing a ruckus to the timeline. But, it is your job to protect the TVA and the sacred timeline. Although you feel that the TVA should be protecting its employees as well.

“Look, I am not taking that test and that’s my final word. Everyone knows I am capable of handling myself. Plus, I do have tons of paperwork to refresh my memory on policies and procedures if that’s what you’re worried about.”

The cartoon clock nods but with hesitation. However, you do make a fair point. Thus, with a swish and a blip, Miss Minutes disappears into thin air, and you’re left to your own devices once more.

Finally some goddamn peace.

As if the universe doesn’t loathe you enough, someone calls your name, approaching from behind you. A groan escapes from your lips, scowling at the glaring keys of the typewriter.

“What?” you spat. In a swift motion, you swivel in your seat and turn to look over your shoulder.

It’s Mobius, approaching you with sudden caution. You let your shoulder sag with relief, happy to see a familiar friendly face.

“Glad to see you’re back and still feisty.” Mobius hesitantly taps your shoulder, flashing you a small consoling smile. Your expression, however, remains unchanged. “Well, you guys did find me after all.” He spots the glimmer of melancholy in your eyes; they avert back to face the typewriter, hands resting on the keys. Mobius shoves his hand into the pockets of his brown slacks, shifting to lean against the edge of your desk. He knows to tread lightly around you after what happened. You’ve changed with wrinkles of age and crinkles of exhaustion. Sakaar must have not been kind to you.

Yet, you’re here, at your desk; alive and well.

“Hey, what’s got you all wound up?”

It’s a stupid question, really but it’s a question to show he still cares. You have every right to be upset. However, you have every right to be thankful. You would have been pruned. Desk cleared and cassettes discarded—it would be as if you never existed. Renslayer would have never given you any mercy after the act you pulled. Disobeying orders and recklessly throwing yourself into danger with the risk of bringing the whole TVA down. You’re impulsive on missions, but it’s your unrelenting determination that drives you to be one of the greatest analysts Mobius has ever seen.

You’re also a friend. A great one. And he isn’t planning on losing one.

“Please prune me, Mobius.”

Your statement comes off as intentionally sarcastic rather than truly meaningful.

“What? I always thought you adored paperwork.” Mobius hears you groan, burying your face in your hands, elbows propped up on the desk. “My back is already hurting, and I have a migraine just thinking about typing out reports of my time on Sakaar. I think it’s quite clear I adore paperwork.” Your muffled voice tinges sarcasm heavily.

Laughter erupts in his chest. He's glad that your sense of humor never changed. Then, the moment quickly passes and he senses a sudden change in the air. You turn up to look at him.

“What was my Nexus event?”

It’s abrupt, almost arbitrary but leads him to even more confusion. Mobius finds himself frowning. “You don’t know?”

You blink. “That’s the one thing they never told me.”

He shifts in his seat on the edge of your desk, blinking up to the ceiling in thought. “Well, from what I heard...it was because Loki willingly helped you. And it wasn’t for his own advantage.”

It’s your turn to frown. “Wouldn’t that be Loki's fault?”

“Apparently not. It was all you.”

You laugh in response; it comes out like a puff of air. “Well, then. That’s a first. I guess I can finally add manipulation to my list of skills. Plus, pick-pocketing weird cosmic fruits.”

Mobius laughs and taps your shoulder again.

“C’mon, take a walk with me. I’ve got a new case that I need your help with.” You shoot him a quizzical look, eyes catching sight of a thick case file in hand—must be important. “I thought I was supposed to be on desk duty.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to sit behind the desk the whole time,” he shoots back a clever answer with a raised eyebrow, beckoning you to accept his offer. Your laugh comes off as more of a snort. It’s the first one in a while. You stand on your feet, stretching your limbs as you shrug on your coat that was hung over the back of your chair.

“Plus, you’re under my supervision,” he says before turning on his heel, heading for the exit. You watch him raise a hand, his back to you, gesturing for you to follow as he pushes through the wooden door. You hum with amusement, trailing behind him.

-

The winding hallways feel hollow, mundane walls lacking any color of brightness the TVA tries to bring to the space when in all fairness, orange isn’t much of a fun color now that everywhere you look, there’s a tinge of tangerine somewhere. The posters that adorn the walls are your least favorite parts of the headquarters’ decorative choice. You pass one that says 'Always Watching' in big bold letters, ominously glaring at you. The words are far from comforting, almost inhumane—a jarring reminder of where you are and where you stand in the hierarchy of this bureaucratic organization.

Mobius clears his throat from beside you, pulling you out from your thoughts. In a weirdly discreet manner, he hands you the case file with an outstretched hand. You take it, eyeing him and his odd behavior, there’s an unexpected shift in the air.

Then, you glance down, reading the scrawled words on the file that reads: Variant L1130, Loki Laufeyson.

Your strides come to an abrupt end, whipping your head up to see Mobius’ sheepish smile. Your eyes are wide, and you’re shaking your head in utmost objection.

“No, no, no. No. Absolutely no—”

“C’mon, it’s just—”

“No, Mobius. Nuh-uh. I swear, if I have to deal with another Loki, I will prune myself. I literally will.”

You're shoving the file to him, as he attempts to suck it up to you like the optimistic idiot he is although he very well knows once you’ve made up your mind, you cannot be swayed. You’re stubborn, rebellious—it’s what makes you dangerous. Yet, the TVA are pessimists. It’s Mobius who truly recognizes your accompanying positive characteristics that make dealing with your spontaneous character worthwhile.

Then, coincidently emerging from the door of the locker room is Loki himself, dressed in a dress shirt, tie, and slacks—clothes and color schemes accustomed to the TVA’s dress code. Mobius can practically see the wires in your brain short-circuiting as soon as you lay eyes on the God. Your eye twitches and from that, he knows you’re about to go mayhem. It’s the mayhem that’s going to break out on him like a hurricane devouring everything and anything in its way.

“You hired him?! You hired a Loki?!”

Your voice is loud, startling Mobius and Loki as passersby stare at the commotion you’re causing. You find yourself hunching in response, shoulders sagging as if it’s supposed to help with averting the attention away from you. Still, your expression doesn’t falter, and you’re staring at Mobius like he’s nuts.

Your voice comes off as a whisper, tone still harsher than before. “Mobius, are you insane?—”

“Just, let me explain,” he cuts you off with a raised palm to you. You purse your lips, sparing a glance to Loki who seems amused by the looks of the conversation that’s turning to more of an argument because you’re directly questioning your colleague’s sanity in public. Nevertheless, you decide to hear him out.

You watch Mobius sigh at the sight of your raised brow. “We have a variant. A Loki variant that’s been killing our Minutemen and I believe it’s the same one that threw you to Sakaar. So, to hunt down a Loki, what better way than to source the help of another?”

Silence. You’re giving him that deafening silent treatment once more. You’re thinking, he can see the mechanics in your brain running like a steam engine. He observes the way your eyes flicker between him, the file, and Loki who attempts to hide his confusion of you and the whole situation.

You’re not his superior, not even close, but he’s hopeful for your approval of his plan.

You cross your arms, shifting in your stance. “Which Loki is this?” You gesture to Loki with a tilt of your head. Mobius heaves a sigh, a hand to his hip and the other waving in the air.

“He’s, uh, he’s from 2012—”

And you’re back to causing mayhem.

“2012?! Mobius! That’s the worst one yet!”

“Now, hang on just a minute—” Loki interrupts, voice tinged with bewilderment and resentment but with two sharp looks directed his way, he instantly shuts his mouth.

You and Mobius are now back to your whispered debate.

“Look, as much as I hate to admit it, the TVA’s survival all depends on catching this variant and that means our survival. He has potential for change, so much of it...You just have to trust me on this.”

Mobius makes an excellent point but you can't help but feel the queasiness rising from your stomach. It feels like bile. You begin to feel the weight of the case file in your grasp becoming heavier and heavier. It’s the thought of risky business, and you’re almost upset as to why Mobius thinks it’s such a brilliant idea to pull you into this case after the stunt you pulled.

“Care to explain why I'm involved in this? You do know I’m being scrutinized for every move I make, right?”

Following your question, he glances at Loki who seems to be growing impatient, eyes wandering around the hallway. He leans forward and lowers his voice though his pitch raises, like when he's excited about a breakthrough.

“Because I know you’re capable of getting Loki to trust you. It happened once, there’s a high chance it’ll happen again and that’s good enough for me.” He watches you blink once. Then, twice. He continues, “And you’re being scrutinized by me. So, does it really matter?”

You’re silent again but in deep thought and not out of spite. Your troubled eyes find Loki’s. He’s already staring at you and for a moment, you see an unknown glimmer in his eye, expression nearly vulnerable but in an instant, he seals it away from you and averts his gaze, busying himself with straightening his pecan brown tie. It’s a small sign that he must have heard what Mobius said to you quietly. Nothing more.

Your gaze returns to your colleague and you pull yourself together, heaving a deep sigh. “Fine, but I still think you’re insane.”

Mobius beams down at you in an almost proud manner. “Welcome back, agent.” And with a turn of a heel, he waves for Loki to follow as the three of you head down the hallway. Loki quickly catches up beside you, much to your dismay. “So, what’s your story?” he leans into you with a curious smirk. You keep your face forward, shoulder back, and chin up as you reply with a monotonous tone. “None of your business, daddy long legs.”

In your peripheral vision, you note how the God retracts in response to your reply, brows now furrowed as he glances down to his legs in an almost sheepish and innocent way.

You struggle to fight down a growing smirk.

Mobius looks over his shoulder for a moment and catches sight of you and Loki’s expression after your exchange.

It looks like the two of you would get along just fine.

TAGLIST:

@lareinedususpense

@poubxlle

@mystoragehatesme

[jjuzoir]

Random Kageyama Tobio HCS

Word Count: 1851

Warnings: just... me being in love with a m*n other than masumi 😔 also! these are my headcanons as in,,, what i personally i think he’d be like ‼️ also me projecting my ideal man into him (as if he wasn’t it already 😋)

A/N: i... i love tobio so much it’s literally unreal... i couldn’t wait for a request (i’m still working on the remaining 4 too lolol) so take me projecting my love for tobio >:(

— Kageyama normally wears loose fitting clothes or athletic-style clothing. His favorite go to outfits tends to be a loose tee, some loose pants with an obnoxious Nike logo he swears are super cool but look like two garbage bags sewed together, and running shoes. Throw a hoodie in there for colder weather, even then he still manages to look good.

— He takes very good care of his hair, like freaky good care, because of Miwa. Once she enrolled in cosmetology school and she saw Kageyama use the same baby shampoo from when they were kids she freaked out (if she’d been any later he’d start using 3-in-1) and chewed his ear off about hair care. His hair is super shiny and there’s literally no freeze, he uses nice smelling shampoo and conditioner too. Ugh, I love him.

— He has a very sensitive nose but it gets clogged easily so he doesn’t notice much unless it miraculously unclogs itself and he’s complaining about everything.

— “Eh! Hinata, why’d you smell like a fucking axe bottle?!” “Why does no one say anything about Tsukishima smelling like strawberries?” “Yamaguchi smells like... milk.” “Hah?! Sugawara smells bad-?!”

— He says he’s a picky eater to appear cool but as long as you don’t say what’s in the food he’ll down it. He’ll say he doesn’t like carrots but if you give him a salad with carrots he might even say “it’s the best salad he’s ever had”.

— He’s a hot sleeper, and not in the “oh he’s sexy” type of way. I’m talking, he’ll sweat buckets if he sleeps with anything other than a flimsy white t-shirt and his underwear.

— Might be me projecting my love for bunny teeth but he has bunny teeth, his front teeth are a bit bigger than average (not to the point it’s super noticeable but it’s still something Miwa teased him about), his aunties probably squeezed his cheeks and called him “baby bunny” when he was younger.

— He doesn’t go to sleep later than 9PM, he thinks if he does it’ll ruin his schedule (which it will) and fuck up his body - he’s seen Miwa screw up hers after she pulled a bunch of all nighters in her third year in high school and has been afraid since.

— The type to forget people were coming over and come out of his room shirtless asking for his clean underwear.

— His sister forced him to let her cut and style his hair which led to many questionable hairstyles. Tsukishima is genuinely so grateful to Miwa, especially when she was first starting - he’s got some pictures of Tobio with the shortest most embarrassing bangs ever saved in his phone in a file for blackmail if the need for it ever presented itself.

— Likes pissing people off on purpose sometimes, during one of the training camps he probably walked into the bath with socks on and was made fun of but out of spite he just… never took them off. Said he’d done it on purpose and all too. Tanaka cried out of fear for like a hot minute when he saw him standing under the shower with Iron Man socks on.

— He’s so petty too, if you make fun of him for messing up he’ll remember until you embarrass yourself to make fun of you. And when I say he remembers, I mean it - he can’t for his life remember when to use make and do in english but he remembers when Hinata made fun of him for wearing different socks back on their first year and yes he will bring it up on their second year when he did the same thing what are you going to do about it?

— Probably got scouted for a modeling agency once and began running away because he thought they were trying to kidnap him.

— If he had Tiktok… he would’ve gone viral after posting a video of him practicing, he posted for a while for fun and to flex on people that he was hot but then he saw a comment saying they wanted to drink his milk under a video of him drinking milk and he deleted his account, he can’t buy from that brand for a while.

— He’s got a video of a gorilla walking in two legs saved on his phone for when he’s feeling down and watches it whenever he’s not going well. People think he’s texting his S/O but no, he’s just watching a gorilla walk like minecraft Steve.

— He can’t pose for pictures to save his life, his default pose is an NPC stance with his arms stiffly hanging down and his eyes wide in surprise, don’t ask him to smile or else he will look like a serial killer.

— He’s got a bit of baby fat on his cheeks that won’t disappear no matter what. It’s become a pre-game ritual to pinch his cheeks. He’s also got dimples you can really only see when he smiles naturally but he doesn’t know and he’d get shy if he knew and try covering his face so don’t tell him, that’s a fact he told me so himself.

— Cannot dance to save his life. He’s so long (?) his limb control is non-existent, it appears in game and vanishes when he steps out of the court. He really just bounces on his heels and moves his arms like a t-rex, don’t ask more of him.

— Buys his clothes one size bigger just in case and Miwa teases him saying he’ll need them when he gets old and fat.

— Gets asked out often but always rejects, then has the audacity to complain he’s never dated anyone like he hasn’t turned down half of the school's population.

— Can’t sing. He’s got a nice speaking voice but ask him to sing and he’s out of tone, out of sync, out of breath, and out of the room in 5 seconds.

— Sugawara joked about having him singing as his alarm clock and Kageyama actually believed him, probably sent him a new recording as a gift after he annoyed him during practice.

— Surprisingly funny when he wants to but most jokes fly over people’s heads since he seems so serious most of the time, it annoys him to no end. Yachi still struggles differentiating when he is and isn’t joking because his tone literally doesn’t change at all and she doesn’t want to offend him.

— When he was younger he liked to collect rocks, not even the pretty ones he’d pick the most average, raggedy rocks off the ground and clean them up and tuck them to bed because he saw Miwa play with her barbies like that. Still owns his first rock, he named it “Johnson” after Dwayne Johnson, aka the rock (he’s had to explain it so many times he’s exhausted).

— Accidentally drank expired milk once and didn’t notice until his stomach began hurting and he thought he became lactose intolerant and he was inconsolable for days until he realized it had expired like a month ago - he went on a milk shopping spree and the milk sales that week saw a 20% rise from the last few months.

— Tobio had bad handwriting until he was in Junior High because his teachers couldn’t understand him and had him practice calligraphy, his handwriting is now one of the prettiest ones in the team and he’s the official inker of the VBC posters (as designated by Goddess Yachi Hitoka herself).

— His biggest fear for a long time was getting eaten by piranhas because he saw it happen so often in cartoon shows he genuinely thought it was going to be a bigger deal than it turned out to be but for like a solid 6 years of his life he avoided suspicions puddles just in case.

— Kageyama has a habit of rolling and unrolling his sleeves when he’s deep in thought, it soon made way to a habit of checking his wrist watch (he absolutely has a wrist watch, you cannot change my mind on that) but not actually reading it.

— His nails are very pretty, like most setters, he takes very good care of them. They’re filed down to a perfect length and he puts oils and creams, his hands in general are so nice. He takes a lot of pride in them, you know his cuticles are pushed back and trimmed and he could absolutely be a hand model. Kags’ hands are calloused, he’s a volleyball player of course they are, but it’s not to the extent of Ushijima or Daichi’s hands.

— Talking about hands, it’s probably one of his favorite features on people. He loves holding hands with his S/O and tracing the wrinkles in their palm, being able to interlock fingers with them and feel the bumps in them.

— Mumbles to himself when in thought too! Very nonsensical if you’re not informed on what he’s thinking about, if he’s thinking about you he’ll mumble your name or something like “pretty eyes”.

— Has a very healthy diet, like extremely healthy and thought out. He won’t eat anything too sugary or that could throw off his body, but he does have cheat days (which are rare but exist). He also doesn’t drink much soda or alcohol (once he’s of age).

— Things like smoking are a big no, he takes so much care of his body he wouldn’t even touch a cigarette or be near a smoking area, lowkey paranoid of ingesting the smoke too.

— When he’s older I can see him having a dog and a cat, the dog would be a big dog; if they stood on two paws it’d be the same height as you, he’d name or something like Tobias and think he was super clever and funny, the cat would probably a small cat he’d name Milk (it probably would be a black cat too but he does not care).

— Probably tried baby formula because he heard it was a substitute for breast milk. No further comments on this.

— I feel like he doesn’t listen to music, but if he had to choose something he’d pick instrumental music - not orchestral music or anything like that - but more of a chill, no deep meaning just guitar and piano track. I could see him listening to Shego Sekito or Joe Hisashi on occasion, he might even listen to some 2000’s pop if he wants something to pump him up during training (he works out to Brittney Spears’ “Womanizer”).

— A cuddle-bug when he’s sleepy, he’ll throw himself across his S/O and not move at all, he just wants to stay there and not move ever again (or at least until he’s not feeling like passing out). He’ll like to wrap himself around them and cuddle their neck, he’ll attach himself to their arm like it’s a lifeline.

— In other words, Kageyama Tobio… b-boyfriend material.

[wwitbeyondmeasure]

Summer At The Burrow - r.w. fan fiction

Previous Chapters

Introduction

Author’s Note

Chapter 1: The Journey to The Burrow 

Chapter 2: Hidden Letters

The beaming face of Mrs Weasley was one of your favorite sights in the world.

"Oh my dear!" She exclaimed, bustling towards the Ford Angelia. She wiped her hands on her floral apron before crushing you into a tight, loving hug. Glaring at her sons over your shoulder (she still didn't approve of them flying the car), she smoothed your hair down and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you so much for inviting me this summer, Mrs. Weasley," you said once she let you go.

"Of course, dear! I know Ron was so excited to have you stay with us," she told you as she gave both her sons a quirk, yet terse, kiss on the cheek. The mention of Ron's name made the twins wiggle their eyebrows teasingly as you felt your face heat up.

"Come on, dinner's almost ready," Mrs Weasley announced, "Percy is working, and Ron is out, as you know, but the rest of the family is here so we will need to set up the large tables outside." Mrs Weasley snapped her fingers at Fred and George who were hoisting your trunk out of the back of the car.

"You two," she directed, "I'll magic her trunk upstairs while you set up the tables. And remember- no funny business. I've had it up to here with your tricks and pranks and the summer's barely started!" she exclaimed.

Giggling slightly as Fred stuck his tongue out at his mother, you turned to watch Mrs Weasley in awe as she raised her wand. Your trunk started lifting gently into the air, flying towards the house. As she focused on her spell, you watched as Mrs Weasley directed your trunk through and open window a few floors up in the house.

It was astonishing to see magic used so casually around a household. You weren't allowed to use magic outside of Hogwarts yet and since your parents were Muggles, this was a new sight for you. No matter how strange it felt, you found yourself excited. A whole summer full of magic and your best friends, what could be better?

"Dear, you'll be staying in Ron's room until he returns, is that alright with you? It'll only be for a couple days," Mrs Weasley told you.

You nodded quickly, "Yes that's great, thank you again for letting me stay."

After she reassured you that it was really no trouble, Mrs Weasley led you inside The Burrow. Your jaw dropped as you took in their home. Magic seemed to be pouring out of every item in the house. The dishes were washing themselves, a pair of floating needles were knitting a scarf, and a peculiar clock was hanging on the wall that had all of the Weasley's faces on it. The clock had each family member pointed to a different location. As Mrs Weasley said, all of them were facing "home", except for Percy which was pointed at "work" and Ron who was facing "Diagon Alley."

"What's Ron in Diagon Alley for?" You asked out loud in the living room. "Is he buying something?"

"It's a surprise," came a familiar voice. You spun around to see your close friend, and roommate at Hogwarts, Ginny.

"Ginny!" You yelled as you ran to her and engulfed her in a warm hug. She returned the gesture and laughed at your enthusiasm. Even though it had only been a few weeks since school let out, you feel like you hadn't seen your friend in forever.

Although Ron was your best friend, it was nice to have your girl friends as well. You always looked forward to nights staying up late in your dormitory with Hermione and Ginny where you could freely gossip and joke without the boys listening. They, unlike the twins, were very understanding of your hidden feelings for Ron and didn't try to pressure you into confessing them.

A loud thud, followed by boisterous laughter, broke you out of your thoughts as you and Ginny rushed outside to see what the commotion was. Lying flat on his back, a large wooden table pinning him to the ground, was none other than Bill Weasley.

The first time you had met Bill was when the Weasleys had come to visit Ron at Hogsmead in your second year. That day was unforgettable. It only took one look, and you had your first crush. He was tall, lanky, with long hair and a dragon tooth earring, and you were done for. You spent a majority of the next few months pestering Ron with questions about his mysterious older brother. After a while, he got so annoyed with you that anytime you even said Bill's name, Ron would threaten to write home and tell his brother that you were secretely a half-goblin.

Your crush on Bill eventually faded and from there on out your feelings for him disappeared with it. He was still your first crush, and your heart still rattled against your ribcage when he winked at you from underneath the wooden table, but you knew nothing would ever come of it.

The twins fell into another fit of laughter at the sight of Bill splayed on the ground, obvious that he just lost a mid-air table fight that Ginny said were common at the Weasley household before dinner time.

After the tables had been assembled properly and you helped lay out the plates, Mrs Weasley brought the food to the table. The sight of fresh salad, roast potatoes, chicken-and-ham pie, and meatballs with onion sauce made your mouth water as you realized how hungry you were. Once the food hit the table, forks and spoons were already digging into the delicious meal.

You were so pleased to be eating with the Weasleys that at multiple points at dinner you felt yourself gazing around the noisy crowd, beyond thankful for the millionth time that day to be staying with them the whole summer. You grinned as George put two breadsticks under his mouth to look like a walrus, which earned a laugh from both Fred and Ginny. Mrs Weasley and Bill were arguing about Bill's earring again, and Charlie and Mr Weasley were deep in conversation about the next Quidditch match between the Falmouth Falcons and Holyhead Harpies.

Once dinner was finished, you helped clear the table and went to the kitchen to ask Mrs Weasley if she needed any more help. You offered to do the dishes, but she only laughed as she waved her wand and the plates started bubbling with soap and scrubbing themselves.

The family said goodnight to each other as the sun set and you followed Ginny up the stairs, parting with her once she pointed out where Ron's room was. You thanked her as she trudged up the stairs to bed and you slowly pushed the door open. Once or twice you've caught yourself wondering what Ron's room looked like, but no amount of thought could have prepared you for the vast amount of violent orange that hit you once the door opened.

You walked into the room, spinning in a circle as you took in the decorations. Covering every inch of the walls and ceiling were Chudley Cannons posters. You knew the Cannons were his favorite Quidditch team but this was really some dedication.

The messy pile of school books and parchment shoved in the corner of Ron's room made you laugh. You knew this summer you were going to have to pester him to complete his summer work or else it will never get done.

Closing the door behind you, you set your trunk on the bed, the sheets also a bright orange color, and pulled out your pajamas. You hastily changed into them, feeling quite odd to be taking off your clothes in your best friend's room, and then put your trunk back down on the floor.

The bed sank underneath your weight as you sat down, pulling the covers over yourself. You took a deep breath in and smiling subconsciously as you realized the sheets smelled like Ron's shampoo.

As you reached to turn off the light on the nightstand table, something caught your eye. Hidden underneath the table was a light brown shoebox, labeled with what looked like your name on the side. Before you could even think about it, your hands were reaching down and pulling the box onto your lap. Sure enough, "y/n" was scrawled onto the box in Ron's slanted handwriting.

Was it an invasion of his privacy to open this box? You wondered to yourself. It's in his room, obviously hidden under the nightstand so nobody except him could find it. But it has my name on it, so surely I'd be allowed to look at it. Right?

In the end, curiosity got the better of you and you flipped the lid open.

Inside were hundreds of pieces of parchment, with black inked handwriting sitting inside. Upon closer inspection, you realized every piece of paper was from you. Every sly note passed in Charms class, every silly cartoon you drew of Snape, and every letter you ever sent Ron was sitting in this box. Your cheeks flushed as you picked up a longer letter you wrote him.

Last June, when your parents unexpectedly left for another foreign trip again, you confided in Ron about how lonely you felt. That summer, you and him exchanged long letters constantly, talking about anything and everything. The fact that Ron had saved all of those letters, just as you did in the drawer in your room, made your heart warm.

Sighing lightly, you put the letters back into the box and put it in its place under the nightstand. You turned off the light and soon were met with just your own thoughts to keep you company.

You drifted to sleep with the thought of Ron's hidden letters, wondering if this meant he felt the same way about you. Pushing the thought out of your mind, you hated to get your hopes up, you flipped to your other side and tried to go to bed. But Ron's smell was still on the pillowcase and you fell asleep with the freckled, red haired boy on your mind.

[holyfuckthisfishcandrive]

Books and Answers

Masterpost (makes this easier, this is chapter 25 btw), Ao3

Word count: 2842

Warnings: stuff from the last chapter mentioned, implied past trauma and flashback, hostage situation, syringes, implied human experiments

Logan woke up to a splitting headache.

He blinked and the light falling past the curtains burned in his eyes.

He winced and it took him another few minutes to be able to open his eyes.

A glass of water stood on his bedside table, together with a small pill. He reached out slowly and drank almost the entire glass before he took the pill and drank the rest.

Virgil must've left it out for him-

Virgil.

Logan shot up almost falling over from a wave of dizziness.

He had strangled Virgil.

There was no body on the floor.

So he at least hadn't killed him.

He had strangled his son.

Fuck.

Logan ran out into the hallway and turned around himself once before rushing to Virgil's room.

"Virgil?!" his own voice made his headache spike.

The room was empty. The bed as unmade as ever, the skulls neatly on their shelves, drawings and posters on the walls.

Logan nearly fell down the stairs and burst into the empty kitchen, went on into the living room and ran back up the stairs.

"Virgl? Are you here?"

He ripped open the bathroom door and stopped.

The sink was covered in tiny bits of dark purple hair. A carton was visible in the trash can.

Logan grabbed it and pulled it out.

Purple hairdye.

Had Virgil dyed his hair?

But where was he now?

There was no blood anywhere so at least Virgil hadn't cut again.

But he was still gone.

Logan realised a few minutes later that his shoes were gone and dialled Emile's number. Maybe Virgil had gone to Emile and Remy. They were like uncles to him after all.

---

Janus woke up slowly.

They were cuddling someone and opened their eyes to figure out who the actual fuck was in their bed.

Oh, right. Virgil had come over last night.

He looked different.

His hair had been shoulder-length for years now but he'd shaved most of it, leaving him with an undercut and purple hair at the top of his head. There were no tear tracks left on his face and the bags under his eyes were as dark as ever, making Janus wonder how long he'd gone without sleep this time. They glanced at their alarm clock. It'd ring in a minute.

They waited, watching the long thin second's finger move steadily until it reached the 12 again and the minute finger moved to quarter past.

A shrill noise cut through the room and Janus reached out over Virgil and turned it off.

"What-?" Virgil squinted and pat against their arm as if trying to find out what it was in his halfawake state.

"Morning," Janus greeted him. "Are you okay?"

Virgil stared at them for a moment before shrugging. After the way, he'd shown up Janus wasn't sure if they could expect much better.

"What day is it?" Virgil asked.

"Don't fucking know," Janus chuckled.

They grabbed their phone and unlocked it.

"We're lucky," they said. "It's Saturday. We don't have school today."

"Thank fucking god."

Janus contemplated for a moment before speaking up again.

"Can I ask what happened yesterday?" they finally asked. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

Virgil looked away from them.

"Maybe... Maybe later but I don't think," he shook his head. "Not now."

"Okay," Janus nodded and got up, grabbing a shirt they had felt on the back of their desk chair. "Are you hungry? Mum bought some new cereal yesterday."

"A bit... Won't your parents ask why I'm suddenly here? Or who I am?"

Janus hesitated.

Right, neither Mum nor Luan had ever met Virgil in all the years they'd been friends. Even when they'd talked about him they had never actually used a name. They'd only ever called him 'a friend' or similar titles. Then again, both Mum and Luan tended to go to bed as early as possible to catch as much sleep as possible, since they had to get up early. Even while still looking for work Mum tended to be busy for the entire day and stood up with Luan. So, it wouldn't sound too weird if Janus just said that Virgil had come by after they had gone to bed. They'd just have to leave out the fact that it had been like three am and that Virgil had climbed in through the window and cried.

"I'll handle it," they said. "Don't worry. I'm an excellent liar."

The two of them left the small room and made their way through the apartment, Virgil's eyes scanning everything they passed as if he was looking for hidden clues to a puzzle only he knew about. Janus knew the feeling. It was how they constantly felt around Virgil.

The smell of coffee greeted them as they entered the kitchen.

"Morning," Luan mumbled and took a sip of his big 'Good Morning' mug. It had a jawning cartoon sheep under the phrase and had been his favourite ever since Mum had given it to him for Valentines Day six years ago.

He did a double-take and rubbed over his eyes as if to check he wasn't seeing things before staring at Virgil, looking vaguely confused.

"I could've sworn there was only one teenager in this household," he muttered into his coffee before calling towards the bedroom. "Babe? Did you have another child while I was at work?"

"What?" Mum called back her footsteps came closer and she stopped in the door to the living room.

"This is my friend, Virgil," Janus introduced quickly. "He came over after you two went to bed last night."

"Just some stress at home," Virgil mumbled and shrugged awkwardly.

"Oh," Luan nodded. "That makes a lot more sense. I need more caffeine."

"Nice to meet you, Virgil," Mum took her own steaming mug from the counter. "Do either of you want any coffee?"

"Not today, thanks," Janus got out two bowls for cereal while Virgil just shook his head.

---

Patton turned on the speakers he hadn't needed in months as soon as he got down into the shop.

The calming music filled the shop and he let himself just listen and breath for a few minutes.

He knew exactly what had triggered the night terror. He had almost expected it even.

He really had to start turning off the news as soon as they talked about any sort of science involving labs and experiments.

Patton gently caressed the petals of a full red rose. He'd take it slow today. Give himself the time he needed to fully believe that he was safe, that they couldn't and wouldn't hunt him down and drag him back there.

He was fine, he reminded himself, taking a sip of his rose tea.

About an hour after opening the bell over the door rung for the first time.

"Good morning- Logan!" he felt his heart leap at the sight of Logan. it had been almost a month and he'd missed him far more than he'd expected to.

"Hello, Patton," Logan smiled at him. He looked tired and a few strands of hair hung into his face. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good," Patton smiled back at him. "Is something wrong?"

He reached out with his powers and felt Logan's distress, panic and soul-crushing guilt. He could guess that something bad had happened but it was hard to tell where the emotions came from through the chaos they had created in Logan.

"I- Uhm... I made a mistake," Logan said. "Have you seen Virgil by any chance? He won't answer his phone and no one I asked so far saw him."

"No, I haven't," Patton frowned. "What happened?"

"I did something... bad and he ran away last night. And I understand that he doesn't want to see me right now but I just have to make sure that he's alright."

"Okay," Patton said. "Well, as I said, I didn't see him but if I do I'll tell you. And I'll check if he's alright."

Logan gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Patton. It means a lot."

For a moment they stood in silence.

Patton wasn't sure what to say.

Part of him wanted to apologize for the kiss but he wasn't sure if he really should.

"I'm sorry I didn't contact you after our date," Logan said suddenly. "I didn't mean to ghost you like that."

"Oh, it's fine. But... could I maybe have your number?"

"Of course," Logan pat down his pockets. "I... forgot my phone at home."

Patton chuckled.

"Don't worry, I have a pen," he grabbed it from under the counter and took Logan's hand. He wrote down his mobile number and handed Logan the pen, offering his own hand.

Logan took it so gently as if he was afraid of breaking Patton.

Slowly he wrote down his number and it tickled slightly.

Then he put the pen down again.

"I have to go now but... I'd like to go out for coffee again. Or maybe something similar. It was nice."

Patton nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I'd like that. I hope you find Virgil. Like I said, if I see him I'll make sure he's okay and tell you."

"Thank you. And if you do and he doesn't want to see me...  can you please tell him that I'm so, so sorry. He doesn't have to forgive me but I just want him to know that."

"Okay," Patton nodded. "Will do. I hope I'll see you soon."

Logan gave him one last tired smile before turning and leaving the shop again.

Patton watched him go and reached out with his powers again.

Logan was still upset, worried and guilty but the panic had lessened ever so slightly. Considering the situation Patton counted that as a small win. He hoped he'd get a chance to talk to Virgil.

Part of him wanted to know what had happened, the other part wasn't sure if it was his place to know. He wasn't a part of their family and this clearly was a thing between the two of them but he also wanted to help. Not only because he cared about Logan but also because he was worried about Virgil, running around somewhere in these streets, probably just as upset as Logan - if not more - and maybe making bad decisions.

He smelled at his tea and enjoyed the warmth on his face for a moment.

For the following hours, nothing much happened, a few customers, a small chat with Ms Cho and nearly two pots of tea.

Patton closed the shop a little earlier than usual and moved up to his apartment to wrap himself up in his blanket and watch Cartoons.

He turned on the TV and lazily flicked through the channels. Some documentary, a Cartoon for toddlers - not really the kind he wanted to see, a reality show, a cooking show where Gordon Ramsay was yelling at some poor guy about carrots, the news -

Patton stopped as the sight on the monitor behind the moderator registered and turned up the volume.

"- according to the authorities there are seven hostages in the building. The Professor hasn't made any demands for their release so far. We'll keep you posted as soon as anything happens."

Patton's stomach dropped.

Seven hostages.

He couldn't stand by and do nothing. Logic was his opponent, it was his duty to fight him and free those poor people from his captivity. He downed the last bit of his tea and stood up to get dressed.

Damn Logic.

While he put on his armour, hoodie and boots one thought wouldn't leave him alone.

This wasn't Logic's style at all.

Hostage situations were something he expected from Psyche, maybe sometimes from Sleep or gangs, but not from Logic. Something was off with it.

He pushed the thought aside and climbed out of the window, only turning on the LEDs in the heart on his chest when he was a few buildings away from his apartment.

It took him fifteen minutes to reach the library Professor Logic had taken over.

Police were surrounding the building and one of them was trying to get Logic's attention.

Patton landed next to him and the man stopped, putting down the megaphone.

"I'll try to get in through the roof and get the hostages to safety," Patton told him. "Try to keep him distracted.

"Be careful," the policeman frowned.

"Will do."

He scaled the side of the building and looked around on the roof for an entrance.

He quickly found a small window which he managed to slip through and found himself in a dusty attic, full of old books. He sneezed and froze, listening for footsteps.

Silence.

Good.

That meant nobody had heard him.

Slowly Patton snuck towards the stairs and down into the highest floor of the library. and looked down through the balcony like opening down all the way.

The hostages were on the lowest floor, huddled together, but he couldn't see Logic anywhere. Maybe he was finally talking to the police now.

Patton snuck down the stairs, listening for anything suspicious all the while.

On the second floor, he hesitated again, just to make sure that Logic was nowhere near the hostages.

There were four college students, whispering among each other, a woman holding her baby close and rocking back and forth, a man nervously biting at his nails and a couple holding onto each other tightly. They glanced into different directions from time to time as if looking for the Professor. So they didn't know where he was either.

Patton stepped back from the railing.

"Hello, Heartrate," a smooth voice behind him made him freeze.

Slowly Patton turned around.

"Hello, Logic."

Professor Logic looked tired, his usually so bright eyes dull and lifeless.

"I'm glad you came here."

Patton blinked in surprise.

"And why is that? Do you want to fight me?"

"No," Logic shook his head. "I don't. I want to ask you something."

"Really? Why I don't approve of you holding these poor people, maybe?" he hissed.

"Oh, them? They can go. I don't care for them. I just want to talk to you."

"Doesn't look like they can go."

"Then tell them," Logic shrugged. "I don't care."

Patton frowned. Logic's emotions seemed to indicate that he was speaking the truth. Slowly he turned around.

"Hey!" he called to get the people's attention. "You can leave! Everything will be alright! Just go outside!"

They seemed to hesitate for a moment before scrambling towards the doors.

Patton watched them go until they were out of sight, just to be sure that they'd be alright. Even if Logic didn't seem to be lying, he couldn't be sure.

"So," Patton turned back around, "what do you want from me?"

Your powers. Are they your fault or someone else's'?"

"What?" Patton asked, taken aback.

The words "None of your business" were at the tip of his tongue. The anxiety from last night was still in his bones and just thinking about it made it tingle all over again. It was none of Logic's business. Patton's trauma wasn't his to know about. The scars on his arms were his own to count and see in the bathroom mirror.

"Are they your fault or someone else's'? If it makes you more comfortable, mine are most definitely my fault."

"What do you mean by that?" Patton's frown deepened.

Had Logic done the kind of experiments to himself that they had done to him?

Patton felt his throat close up, memories he'd tried to bury years ago, flashing through his mind.

Logic frowned.

"Do you... You don't actually know where powers come from?" he asked slowly.

Oh, Patton knew too well where his powers were from. The syringes, tests and transfusions were haunting him.

Logic looked away for a moment.

"Trauma," he suddenly said. "Powers come from trauma. There is a gene few people have that triggers a trauma response, resulting in people developing powers."

Trauma?

It hadn't been the tests?

Or, it had. Just mot in the way Patton had thought for years.

"Mine was my fault thanks to my own bad decisions. Who's fault are your's?"

Patton clenched his teeth, trying to process the new information. If powers stemmed from trauma, that meant all of them were traumatised, right? Not just him but Logic, Sleep and Psyche too. Were they really all just traumatised people fighting each other?

"Someone else's," he said tonelessly.

"Mhm. I see. Can I ask how your powers developed? Did it happen quickly or fast?"

"Why are you asking me these questions? I'm not sure. I think they came slowly. One thing after the other until I just... had them."

"Thank you. I just wanted to know if there was a difference," Logic nodded to himself and turned to leave. "Goodbye."

"Wait! Why did you want to know this?!"

"If strange things happen around town or something, it's my fault. We'll see what kind of powers will be the result."

Next

Taglist:

@patton-cake , @isabelle-stars

[jasontoddiefor]

Title: Robin’s Requirements Summary: The name’s Robin,” the kid said with Dick’s smirk and Jason’s accent. Bruce felt ice crawl up his veins. He was going to throw up.Robin number three wasn’t human and Bruce didn’t know how keep going after Jason’s death. They make it work (after a rough start). AN: I decided to put up all the chapters I’ve posted of this story so far in proper order on tumblr since some people prefer reading here. Here’s the AO3 link to the story! I update weekly!

Chapter 1

Summer in Gotham was almost unbearable. The smoke and ashes lingering in the air mixed with the heat radiated from the asphalt to create an atmosphere that made it difficult to breathe or even just move in. In-between the tall skyscrapers and the houses squished into spaces much too small for them, you got the closest you could be to the experience of boiling to death without actually dying.

Winter may freeze your limbs, break away one finger after another, but summer’s heat, similar to the blast of an explosion, burned away your skin.

The summer nights appeared to be the much kinder, softer counterpart to the day time for the poor creatures who had to make their way through dark alleys.

It was a farce.

Gotham wasn’t kind, she hadn’t been in a long time.

The coolness of the darkness lulled you into a false sense of security. You were exhausted already, scared of the shadows too maybe if you weren’t used to them, or if you knew what lingered beyond them, but at least death didn’t await you in the sun’s divine punishment.

A logical but wrong assumption.

Grim hunters stalked the dark, waiting for you to slip up, to make a mistake.

Or at least, they used to be there to sink their teeth into you.

For the longest time Gotham had been protected by three guardians, predators, but nowadays you only ever spotted one of them, and if you did, you were better off to slice your own throat, or so they said.

Nobody had ever attempted to deny that meetings with the Bat could get bloody, especially if you provoked him. Still, they didn’t used to look like a war zone, entrails spread over the grey asphalt as empty eyes judged you for all the horrors you committed. The Bat used to be kinder, more forgiving, more understanding.

He wasn’t anymore. He had broken like Gotham had so many decades ago.

He still protected the weak, the needy, the helpless, but he no longer fought for the damned.

Instead of being their ferryman, he brought them directly to hell. It wasn’t death, not yet, but by the time he was done, you would wish for it.

People wondered what had changed right up until the Joker nearly choked on his acid laughter in the Bat’s arms, laughing about little songbirds cut up so badly you couldn’t tell the red of their feather coat from their blood.

It made sense then that the Bat would start to lose control. Everybody knew that the little Robin was off-limits. You try to could hurt and maim him, or break him for sure, these were the rules of the streets, and if he wanted to fly through them, he had to acknowledge them, but only ever as long as the Bat was your actual target.

You did not target Robin, Gotham loved him.

(There was a price to be paid for his death.)

X

“Duke, honey, it’s time for bed!”

“I know, Mom! Just five more minutes!”

Duke Thomas considered himself to be a regular ten-year-old. He loved video games, Star Wars, his Mom’s cooking, his Dad’s jokes, and, above everything, Robin Spotting. It was so much fun to stay up late, hoping to catch a glimpse of that colorful uniform or hear the joyful laughter.

Duke had actually seen Robin once too, on his fire escape. The hero had smiled at him and then put his index finger on his lips, indicating for Duke to be silent. Caught up in his excitement, Duke hadn’t even been able to speak to the hero or do anything but stand at his window, jumping up and down. He had watched as Batman caught up with Robin and the duo had flown away, Robin pretty much glued to Batman’s side.

The alley beneath Duke’s window was dark and dirty, but the heroes had been able to light it up.

And now Robin was gone.

Duke couldn’t believe it.

The police hadn’t said anything about Robin’s disappearance. Duke checked the news every day when his parents weren’t watching him too closely, lest they start thinking he wanted to watch those instead of his cartoons, hoping to hear about something interesting that wasn’t economics. However, the papers had plenty to say about Robin. His Mom called them ‘gossip rags Duke was better off not paying too much attention to’, but he had read them regardless.

The papers claimed Robin was dead, said that the Joker had killed him.

Duke was sure they were lying.

Robin was magical, Robin couldn’t die.

(But the Joker rarely appeared to be human either.)

Maybe somebody just had to remind Robin that he was still needed here. Duke sometimes got so caught up in his thoughts, he forgot to do his homework. It was probably something similar for Robin

“Duke, lights out!” His Dad said when he passed by Duke’s room.

“Just one more minute!” Duke pleaded, not even looking up from his desk.

“Alright, alright.” Dad laughed. “But you have to tell me what you’re writing.”

He entered the room and stepped closer to take a look at the sheet of paper Duke had been writing on, but Duke quickly pulled it to his chest to hide his scribbles.

“No! You can’t see it! It will take away the magic.”

You didn’t show your parents the letter for Santa either, or it wouldn’t get to Santa. Of course, the latter wasn’t real, but Robin was. And honestly, there were rules about this kind of magic – his parents should know them.

Dad just raised his hands in defeat, still smiling in amusement.

“Okay, buddy, but tomorrow you have to share with the class.”

Duke frowned, unsure whether that would be enough time for Robin to get his letter.

“Later,” Duke yielded. “Once I know it worked.”

Dad’s smile softened and he patted Duke’s shoulder.

“Only one more minute, then bedtime. You have school tomorrow and I don’t want to get another call about you falling asleep in class.”

Duke huffed, but couldn’t hide his happy smile. “That was only once!”

“Once enough. Sleep well, kid.”

“Night, Dad.”

Dad walked out of Duke’s room, closing the door behind him so that Duke was staring at the Justice League poster pinned to the wood. Batman needed Robin, so Duke would remind the short hero that he had to come home.

He quickly finished his letter, packed it in transparent cover, and hid it away in his Super Secret Special box. It was actually just a shoebox he had painted yellow and orange and decorated with plastic gemstones, but Duke loved it. Then he turned off the light and crawled into his bed. Duke took his alarm clock from the nightstand and set the alarm for a few minutes before midnight. He wasn’t sure whether twelve o’clock really was the right time, but it seemed very important in a lot of movies, so Duke figured if he had to choose, he might as well go with this time. If he succeeded, he’d maybe write to the police as well, tell them how to contact Robin since the Bat-signal only worked for Batman.

Falling asleep when he was so nervous turned out to be a chore. It felt just like the evenings before his birthday when he could hear the blood rushing through his ears and it kept him awake for as long as possible.

Duke managed to sink into sleep sometime after his parents had gone to bed as well. He hadn’t even noticed that he’d drifted off right until his alarm rang again and Duke woke up startled. Tiredly, Duke crawled out of his bed and put on his socks to minimize the sound he made. He picked put the box and began tonight’s journey.

When he opened the door, he winced at the jarring sound. Even if he tried to be as slow as possible, the door refused to stay silent. Duke halted to listen if his parents still slept. His father’s snoring turned out to be a rather practical way of measuring it. Thankfully, his parents also didn’t wake when Duke stole the house keys out of his mother’s purse. With his box in hand, Duke sneaked out of the apartment and headed towards the stairs leading up to the rooftop.

The air inside the staircase was stuffy, receiving no circulation whatsoever. On tiptoes, Duke walked past the doors of his neighbors, being exceptionally careful when he passed the apartment of Ms. Norrington. She was, in the words of his usually calm and kind mother, a mean old witch, except she hadn’t said witch, but another word starting with a ‘b’ that Duke was too frightful to repeat. The old lady and her ugly little dog always watched Duke and his friend with her mean big blue eyes, especially when they were carrying toys. In Ms. Norrington’s opinion, there was nothing more terrible than children playing and having fun. One of these days, she wouldn’t even wait until Duke had made a sound, she’d just snatch his football away as soon as she would spot him. Therefore Duke needed to pass her without alarming her.

One step, another, a third and a fourth and Duke had done it. Victoriously, he rushed up the remaining staircases to the rooftop. If his parents knew that he was up here, they’d ground him for sure. None of the kids in the apartment block were supposed to go upstairs because the fence surrounding the roof hadn’t been fixed in ages and someone could get hurt or, even worse, fall off the roof when playing.

Duke thought it was stupid. He wouldn’t ever be dumb enough to fall off a house. However, that hadn’t stopped the adults from locking the door between Duke and his goal. But for that purpose, Duke had snatched his mother’s keys. His own keyring only had the keys for the front and backdoor, one for his bike and one for his Cousin’s home. His mother, on the other hand, did possess a key for the top door.

The lock was rusty and the key wouldn’t turn properly when Duke tried to open it. Duke bit on his tongue in concentration as he twisted the key multiple times until finally, after what felt like ages, the door clicked and opened.

Duke slowly closed it behind himself again, as to avoid the wind pushing it into the lock again with a loud BAM! Certainly, old Ms. Norrington would wake from that. Duke would just have to hurry and be finished before she managed to get out of bed, put on her pink shoes, ugly old and gray bathrobe and made it to the door.

Gotham was an ugly city according to the news, but Duke had long since learned not to trust them. Sure, the city could be a bit cleaner, but monuments like the shining WE building or the green Robinson park in the distance were signs that Gotham wasn’t as shitty as people claimed. The breeze here up on the rooftop was quite enjoyable too. They should tell their landlord to repair the fence quickly so that Duke could play Batman and Robin with his friends up here. That would be way cooler than going to the playground. Here they would be up on a real rooftop and didn’t have to pretend the monkey bars were the top of the Crystal Palace. Thinking of his two heroes, Duke reminded himself of his mission.

He looked around for the best spot to put his letter and settled on the water tank. A short ladder was leading up to it and so, with his box secured under his arms, Duke began to climb. He slipped nearly once or twice, but always managed to catch himself at the last second.

Once he reached the top, he allowed himself to sit down just to catch a quick breath. He was working on a schedule after all.

Duke set his box down next to him and took off the cover, revealing his letter to Robin and his most prized possession: a Batarang.

He’d found it in the trash a while ago and ever since he had the supreme right to always play Batman if he wanted to. He hadn’t told his parents about it because he knew they’d take it away, even if Duke didn’t take it outside his room usually. Why would he? He didn’t want it to get stolen by others!

Duke reached for the Batarang and then traced its edges with his fingers. It was still sharp, if he wasn’t careful he’d cut himself.

Duke didn’t have a Bat-signal, but he also didn’t want to attract that much attention. He was sure that if he just scratched something in the wooden surface of the water tank, Robin would spot it sooner or later. With the sharp side of the weapon, Duke began to scratch a big R into the wood. He made sure his carvings were deep enough that they’d be seen from above.

Then, with as much might as Duke could measure up, he rammed the Batarang through his letter into the wood so that it wouldn’t just fly away when left unsupervised.

There, his work was done.

Content with himself, Duke allowed himself to observe Gotham for a little while longer, forgetting Ms. Norrington for a moment. He wouldn’t get a sight as neat as this one again in a long while.

Duke climbed down from the water tank and returned inside. He made it past Ms. Norrington’s door and slipped into his apartment and room, his parents still sound asleep and none the wiser of Duke’s little adventure.

Yawning, Duke pulled his blanket over his head. It was sad that he had to give up his Batarang, but maybe he’d get a new one once Robin returned. And Duke didn’t mind playing other heroes.

After all, now it was really just a question of time.

X

Beneath him, the city was wide awake, even during such late hours. He should probably return to the Cave for tonight, he didn’t have any supplies besides the one lone Batarang. While he was sure that his wit alone would suffice to support Batman, a utility belt filled with all kinds of tricky equipment would be immense support, never mind much more fun.

He was already on the move, heading home for the first time, when Gotham started screaming for help. Her shouts spoke of fear, of a terrified mother scared for her children’s safety.

Somebody was threatening her - who?

Batman wouldn’t approve of it, he was sure, but generally speaking, it wasn’t his job to listen to Batman. He was there to support the Bat and, more importantly, keep Gotham safe. He couldn’t do that from the Cave.

With a wild grin, he jumped from the rooftop, executing a perfect landing on the balcony of the next house. Quickly he moved forward, making his way through the cold September air to come to Gotham’s aid.

He was Robin.

He had been born for this.

[brittle-bone-gabe]

Erase Me: Chapter One- Moving Pictures

Introduction, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven

Summary: Welcome to the never ending, never changing loop. The loop can’t break, it’s always been the same. Henry never realized he was trapped, but coming back to the animation studio for the “first time” just to see a small, human-like child makes Henry realize that dreams really do come to life.

Read on other platforms: AO3, FFN, Wattpad

The studio was oddly silent, Henry was used to coming into the studio for work and would instantly be greeted with talking or laughing from Joey Drew or the other employees that worked for him. Not this time… the studio was dimly lit with little sound, mainly just ambient noises such as a clock ticking somewhere in the studio and the familiar sound of a projector. Henry would be lying if he said this place wasn’t a tad bit creepy… Well, he was here now, the trip might as well be worth it considering the fact he paid for a flight and a hotel room to see what Joey wanted. Now he just had to find Joey.

When taking his first step into the studio, a pipe that was on the ceiling busted open, pouring ink all over the floor below, almost spilling over Henry. That would not have been good, if possible, Henry would like to not be covered in ink by the time he leaves the studio to go back to the hotel. As Henry began walking into the studio, he couldn’t help but notice that the posters of Bendy and his friends that were plastered on the wall were still in great condition. If Henry didn’t know any better, he would say that those could be worth some serious money for being originals and unreleased as merchandise. In the left corner of the room, Henry noticed that a projector was left on, but nothing was playing over it. Huh… did that mean Joey got here before he did? Was Joey losing it? Normally he never left projectors on, something about not wanting to waste money buying new ones if one were to break.

               Strange… but okay, Henry thought to himself as he walked up to the projector, flipping the switch to off like he used to do whenever any of the employees accidentally left the equipment on.

               It was odd to think that this booming animation studio was now left abandoned for four-years. Henry had no idea why in the hell they would’ve shut down, but he could only assume it some sort of violations of sorts. Joey Drew Studios was making so much money, producing so much media that children all over the country enjoyed. Why just suddenly shut down? Maybe that’s what Joey wanted to talk to him about?

               Henry jumped a bit when he turned to see a Bendy cutout that was propped up against the wall next to where the projector was pointing to. Guess he didn’t see it while being blinded by the bright light of the projector. Jesus… Henry remembered when they first rolled those cutouts out, everyone used to scare each other by moving them and poking them out of nowhere in the hallways. It was good fun, until it was taken too far, and Joey demanded that everyone stop messing with the cutouts unless they were prepared to take the broken ones out of their paychecks. Just like he did back then, Henry still found the cutouts to be slightly unsettling. The constantly smiling Bendy with eyes that seemed to follow you wherever you went was just highly unnerving. Surely they were enough to haunt your dreams if you were around them enough. Aright, enough goofing around, Henry needed to find Joey and figure out why he was called here for.

               Turning back around, Henry started walking back down the room, turning right at a familiar hallway.

               “Hey, here’s my old desk. I’ve wasted so much time in this chair,” Henry reminisced, running his hand around the back of the unmoved, dusty wooden chair. The flickering light above said desk made the Bendy cutout creepier than it already was; when was that put there?

               Henry could help himself when he stopped to think about more of the olden days working here just sitting at his desk alone. While animating Henry went into “the zone,” as his coworkers would call it. It seemed as though nothing could break away his concentration while he had an important task to do. One day, Joey had given him the task to draw up the friend that he had described to Henry as a “tall anthropomorphic wolf.” Henry loved those type of tasks, he was allowed to use as much creative freedom as he so desired as long as it fit within the keywords that Joey had given him. While he was hard at work, the lead projectionist, Norman Polk, and Wally Franks, who was a janitor at the time, decided to see how badly they could scare him. It wasn’t anything major, in fact, it was rather stupid, or at least that’s what Samuel Lawrence, the song and music director, had thought when he came out of his “dungeon” for a rare moment to get some feedback from the animation studio. He had watched while sipping his coffee as the two workers gathered all the Bendy cutouts they could find, placing them around Henry’s work area until they couldn’t fit anymore. The entire time Henry had no idea what they were doing or that he was the victim of a prank. The prank in itself wasn’t scary, but when Henry turned around to answer to whoever was calling his name after just getting out of his major concentration zone, well, it was like seeing an actual demon. Norman and Wally lost it, laughing at the startled man while Sammy just shook his head as he walked away, trying to hide his smile behind his coffee mug.

               Pulling himself out of his memories, Henry noticed something that was highly unusual sitting on his desk. There was a little, poorly drawn Bendy doodle that he’s never seen before. Why would that be there? Henry picked it up, studying the art to see if he could possibly trace it back to someone else who did animation in the studio originally before he left. He didn’t, but even if he could, none of them would produce something so… childish. The only explanation for this that Henry could come up with was that someone who wasn’t in the animation department tried to create something, knowing that Joey wouldn’t like it due to the fact it made Bendy look less than perfect, or someone from the department had brought their kid into work. The latter seemed to be too unrealistic, as Joey didn’t allow anyone besides employees or official state workers to come into the studio. Huh… this was strange… Henry put the paper back where it belonged, but it slipped onto the floor, landing on top of a pile of papers that Henry didn’t realize he was stepping on. Once he did though he took a step back, kneeling down to see what was there.

               Everything scattered on the floor were more children’s drawings of Bendy or other various characters that appeared in the cartoon. The thing that really stuck out about these drawings wasn’t the fact that obviously a child made them, but because they were all drawn in such heavy ink, as though they didn’t know what the appropriate amount of ink should be. Henry could only scratch his head in confusion, no sound or reason could help him put the pieces together for this one… He even thought about maybe someone was squatting their building, but that would be impossible too since the door was locked and there weren’t any windows in the actual studio itself. Certainly a mystery this was becoming…

               Just as Henry was standing up with the help of the wooden chair, he swore he had caught something in the corner of his eye. When he whipped his head around to the room behind him, he didn’t see anything, but that was a new room that he’s never seen before. Being in the studio now was like walking into a completely new job site, everything was so familiar yet different at the same time. Something was going on in here, either Joey had to come out and explain what it was, or Henry would figure it out himself.

               Checking to make sure that Joey wasn’t there to pull any type of prank on him, Henry cautiously made his way into the new room he’s never experienced before. Inside, there were three animation desks that were similar to his, most certainly more used than his ever was.

“Huh, looks like they knocked out a wall or two after I left. Guess it took a few people to replace me…” Henry muttered to himself as he stood at the raised floor looking over the room.

Every desk had a couple of drawings of the dancing demon himself sitting upon them, some of them were professionally done while others, again, were done by a child. Motivation Bendy posters were hung around the room, probably to make the new animators feel good about themselves while working days on end, Henry was glad to have gotten out of that life, seeing where he is now with his life and family it was worth it.

Henry stepped off the raised flooring to have a more detailed look around the room, there was something in here he could feel it. The overwhelming burning feeling of something watching his every movement was getting the better of him. Honestly, this was the first time this whole time he’s been here that he felt truly creeped out, and as though this place was… Well, he didn’t want to say haunted, there was no such thing as ghosts, but maybe the studio held a presence of some sorts.

“Hello?” Henry nervously called out, hoping he wouldn’t get an answer from nobody expect for Joey Drew. He rounded a corner to see a boarded-up room that appeared to lead to a restroom with, surprise, surprise, a Bendy cutout and flickering lights. Man, these things were everywhere, seems as though they didn’t sell as well as they’d hope.

Henry grabbed the wooden planks that were nailed along the doorway, shaking them to see if there was any way they could get taken down, but they were heavily secured. No way he’d be getting in there. It didn’t matter anyways, nothing of importance seemed to be in here anyways.

With that in mind, Henry moved on out of the room, the studio was now empty of most sound expect for the ominous sound of a clock ticking deep in the studio. It was mocking him, as if telling him that he was wasting his time here in the studio, just like he wasted an entire year being trapped here away from his wife. Tick, tick, tick, tick… Henry shook his head, pressing forward as he moved across the room that led down another hallway. Even though he’s worked here for a year, the place seemed to be the same yet extremely different.

Once Henry rounded a corner, he stopped when he came into a room with ink heavily dripping down from the ceiling and spilling onto the wooden floor below, but that’s not what caught his attention. On the wall above, written in heavy ink wrote: “DREAMS COME TRUE.” Upon closer inspection, the ink appeared to be freshly written with a small, smudged handprint underneath the written. Every brain cell was telling Henry to turn back around, pack his bags from the hotel, get back on another plane and go the hell home where he would be safe. However, one, just one, tiny little brain cell was encouraging him to go forward, to figure out what was going on here and why Joey needed him here so urgently.

Putting on the bravest face he could muster, Henry proceeded to follow the hallway further into the studio. His ears were picking up on something… Was that… a radio? Why would a radio be playing in here? Nothing was making sense and it was starting to drive Henry crazy. He stopped next to the first door that came up on his left, that had to be where the music was coming from. Along with the music, there was a bright light shining from underneath the crack in the door. Henry tried to open the door, but it was locked, and there was no way he could open it from his end. Damn, guess he’d have to come back to it later.

Pushing forward, there was something different hanging up on the wall that wasn’t just a Bendy sticker or a vintage cartoon poster. This was an Ink Output Schedule, whatever that was supposed to mean, as that certainly wasn’t there when he was still around. The white erase board was a bit difficult to read, but from Henry’s understanding was that it was comparing how many gallons of ink they were using a week? That didn’t quite make since considering the fact the last entry was listed as 423 gallons. If that were the case, then that was insane. Why would they be using all this ink? They were just an animation studio, right?

A usual thick pipe was going across the remainder of the hallway with a sign that read: “Please watch your step.” Thankfully, Henry noticed said pipe before carelessly started walking down the hall, that would’ve been a worker’s comp case. Well, it would’ve been if he still worked here that is. The hall had led into a balcony that looked down on a rather large room that, again, Henry has never seen before, he has accepted that this place got flipped around and he had no idea what anything was or is anymore. There were large chains that were hooked to the ceiling that led down what appears to be a rather large and deep hole in the ground. What could possibly be down there? Henry was eyeing the power switch next to him, but there was no way it would work in its current state as the power source was missing. Thankfully, they weren’t far away, there was a hardware chest that contained the power cells that were needed to get this going.

“Let’s see what you’re hiding down there, old friend,” he said out loud before pulling the switch.

The sound of old rusty chains squeaked through the air like nails on a chalkboard, sending goosebumps through Henry and a chill down his spine as he patiently waited for the old equipment to bring up whatever it was hiding out of sight. The chains pulled up the ink machine rather quickly for its size and weight, surprising Henry. An ink machine? Why in the world would they need an ink machine for? They never had problems getting ahold of ink while Henry was still here, so what changed since he left? Did Joey want to save money? Were ink businesses not conducting business with Joey Drew Studios? Henry was trying to connect the dots here, but nothing was fitting together which greatly frustrated him. Ink machine… Joey never mentioned that he was thinking getting one of those. What was he up to? From where Henry was standing it appeared that the machine wasn’t on; well, he supposed that’s what his next task was going to be.

“Joey… where the hell are you?” Henry mumbled to himself as he backed out of the room, turning to the right, going even deeper into the studio.

Why was he being put through all of this? Was this a test? A game? A cruel joke? Or perhaps it was a way to lure Henry back into the studio after thirty-years, and for what? So many questions were going to be left answered unless Joey came out of hiding.

Henry was lost in his thoughts, as he usually was, when a wooden plank fell from the ceiling unexpectedly. He stopped in his tracks, eyes wide with his heart beating through his chest as though it were trying to escape. He had to tell himself to relax, it was an old building and they were known for falling apart, just look around his environment, there were broken planks and holes in the walls. It’s fine, this was fine.

Turning right, Henry came across a large switch with a sign that read INK MACHINE over it with a flashing low-pressure sign next to the switch. There were six short pillars that appeared as though they held something for years judging by the dust that settled over the majority of the plates. Behind each pillar on the wall were pictures of what seemed to be random objects. This was a set up Henry’s never seen before.

“Alright, how do I get this work?” He asked out loud, hoping that maybe something from the heavens would give him an answer. Did he have to find and place the items on the pillars? Well, that shouldn’t be too hard, right…?

With the pieces of the puzzle memorized, Henry left the room to go find said items. The studio was fairly small, so finding these pieces shouldn’t be too hard. As he turned into the hallway, Henry once again had another scare. A Bendy cutout that he knew for damn sure wasn’t there before was now standing upright where the wooden plank fell from above.

“Who put this here?!” Henry demanded, glancing around, “this isn’t funny, Joey. Just come out.” He stood there for a moment, hoping that his old friend would start laughing and come out of the shadows, but there was nothing. Only the ambient, ominous sounds of the workshop filled the dull, dusty air around him.            

Everything was telling Henry to get the hell out of here, but now his curiosity was peaked and had to keep pressing forward. Besides, he could leave whenever he wanted to, so what was the worst that could happen?

Henry cautiously moved around the cutout, going to the room directly behind it. Henry only made it two steps into the room before he had to stop in his tracks once again at what he was seeing. He rubbed his eyes to make sure he was actually seeing what he thought he was seeing. Before him, strapped to a gurney upright with metal bars going across to secure them was Boris. As in, Boris from the Bendy cartoon. His chest was ripped opened with his ribs sticking out and a wrench placed inside.

“Oh my god… Joey, what were you doing?” As much as he didn’t want to, Henry had to take the wrench out, the tool made a squishy sound as it was yanked from the chest cavity, causing Henry to cringe. This was some sort of cultist ritual, it had to be, right? Nobody who was sane would do something like this. “’Who’s laughing now?’” Joey read the ink written on the wall, it was in a similar handwriting to the Dreams come true written out in the hallway, expect this time Henry noticed small, ink footprints leading out a door across the room. “God, this better not be a prank…” Henry mumbled as he went to investigate where the tracks led.

He opened the closed door, revealing a small room with two more animation desks. The tracks went right passed them, going out the door that led to the main room and to the right. Henry couldn’t help himself when he followed them further and further. The tracks stopped a slightly ajar door, with a shaky hand, Henry opened it quickly. Nothing or nobody was inside, not like anyone could fit in there anyways, it was a small closet that had empty soup cans scattered about. Closing the door, Henry noticed a cassette player sitting on the small end table, he pressed the play button, hoping that would give him some insight as to what was happening. He instantly recognized the voice of Wally Franks.

“At this point, I don’t get what Joey’s plan is for this company. The animations sure aren’t being finished on time anymore, and I certainly don’t see why we need this machine. It’s noisy, it’s messy, and who needs that much ink anyways? Also, get this, Joey had each one of us donate something from our workstation. We put them on these little pedestals in the break room… to help ‘appease the gods’ Joey says. Keeps things going… I think he’s lost his mind, but, hey, he writes the checks. But I tell you what, if one more of these pipes bursts, I’m outta here.”  

There was another closet behind the cassette player, but that one was locked. God, none of this was making sense. Why the ink machine? Why were there audio logs laying around? What happened when Henry left?

To keep himself from asking questions in a circle, Henry proceeded forward, down a long hallway where he found more of the fresh small ink footprints. He was just waiting for something to round the corner and jump out at him to scare him. Nothing did happen, however. He made it to the old viewing room without any more mishaps. It was dark, so dark that Henry could barely see in front of him. He saw a small flicker of light behind the projector, the dimly lighted light hung over a valve that read ink pressure.

That’s a good thing to have in mind, he thought as he picked up an old ink stained Bendy plush toy, giving it a squeak. God, he loved those toys, they were so cute.

Henry wandered around for about ten minutes before coming across another door that he remembered led into their downstairs break room. As apposed to the break room upstairs, this one was used when they were celebrating and had mini parties. Henry had a small, sad smile as he looked down at the room, remembering all the times they had down there. Norman and Wally were always the loudest ones in the room, Sammy seemed to have always acted as though he was pulled away from whatever important work he was doing to be there, as he was always grumpy and stewing in the corner writing on his music sheets. Joey always told him to lighten up, but Sammy seemed to be too serious in his work to do such a thing. Everything in the break room was preserved, the posters were left untouched, the furniture was in great condition, the only thing out of place was all the empty soup cans that were laying around. Wandering around, Henry stubbed his toe on a large book, when he knelt down to pick it up, he saw it was a book Joey wrote. The Illusion of Living, well he needed that too, so he tucked it under his arm with the rest of the pieces he collected.

“Would you look at that,” Henry said after he stood up and saw the old punch time clock. “I wonder if you still work.” He pushed down the old timecard that was still in the machine, it startled him with the old, familiar ringing sound it produced whenever it successfully punched a card. A loud thud came from up the stairs, startling Henry. “This place is insane.”

He went back up the stairs quietly and carefully, as the sound seemed like someone got startled by the time clock. Henry was prepared to catch whoever was messing with him, hopefully they weren’t a danger to him, but if they were well, he wouldn’t be afraid to defend himself.  The door that once had a radio playing behind it was now opened, the radio and lights off; so there was somebody hiding in there, huh? Sitting on the desk was a vinyl disk, Henry needed that so he took it, but underneath there was a note that read ‘He will set us free.’

“This isn’t funny anymore,” Henry called out as he turned around and walked out of the room. He glanced down both sides of the hallway to see if he could find anything or anyone. There it was again, a new set of small footprints tracked in ink leading back towards the entrance of the studio. This was it, Henry was closing in on whoever was messing with him and he certainly had a few words to say to them.

The footprints had suddenly stopped next to the projector that Henry had turned off the moment he entered the building. That didn’t make any sense, where did they go? Whoever it was couldn’t have just disappeared, right? Thankfully the footprints had led him right to the last two items he needed; the gear and the inkwell, it was as though someone already collected them for him as he knew those weren’t there earlier. Henry had the strong feeling that he was being watched as he picked up the last two items, he couldn’t focus on that now, he had to get this damn ink machine started so he could figure this all out.

“That’s all of them,” Henry said to himself before turning and walking back to the old breakroom that held the stands. The one thing he noticed, however, was that the Bendy cutout that was oddly placed there before was now gone. Henry was slowly starting to believe in ghosts at this point, or maybe being in here was making him lose his mind.

One by one, Henry placed every item on the correct pillar, lights turned on over head on each one he did until the room was completely lit. He had no idea who could’ve come up with this sort of layout, it seemed over the top and dramatic. Well, he just described Joey Drew, didn’t he?

“Now I just need to get the ink flowing, there was a valve in the projection room, right?” At this point, Henry couldn’t help but talk to himself, he felt alone and scared, that maybe talking to himself would help him put on the brave face to keep on pushing through this.

Making his way back, Henry was on a complete look out, both with his eyes and his ears. Obviously something was going on here and he didn’t like it at all. As he was going down the long hallway to the projection room, another Bendy cutout popped out around the corner, causing him to jump. That was it. Henry upped his pace, rounding the corner to catch whoever it was doing this. It was only this room between them now, he was going to catch him. The projection room was still dark, so finding anyone was going to be made difficult.

“You can come out now, I know you’re-“ Before Henry could finish his sentence, the projector turned on seemingly by itself, filling the room with light. The only thing that was being projected was a clip of Bendy the Dancing Demon doing a simple little dance with his trademark whistle in the background. Going behind the projector, Henry thought he was going to catch them, but nobody was there and it only made him more confused. That’s it, he was losing it. “You can’t be serious…” Henry messed with the ink pressure valve, the instant he moved it the room began to flood with ink. “So much for not getting a stain.”

This journey felt more like an endless going back and forth, as Henry made his way back to power the ink machine. He did a quick glance to make sure he had every item, everything was in place except for the Bendy plush toy. Henry groaned in frustration, but since the pillar still had a light on overhead maybe it would still work. Once he flipped the switch all the lights went off in the studio, great, this was just great. There were some dimly lit lights that helped him out, but Henry still had to keep his hand on the wall to make sure he was still going the correct way. The sound of the ink machine starting up was loud and unexpected, there better be the light at the end of the tunnel for this one.

Just keep moving, just keep moving, Henry told himself as he stepped over the large pipe in the middle of the hallway. Walking up to the ink machine room, it was suddenly boarded up. How could someone do that without him noticing or hearing? Once Henry got a close enough look into the room, something that could only be described as an ink demon popped up through the cracks, destroying the wooden planks that were in place. Henry had fallen backwards, hitting his head on the floor in shock. The walls and floor around him were turning into an ink stained mess. He had to get the hell out of the workshop. Now.

Henry jumped up, his heart slamming against his chest from both fear and trying to run as fast as he could through the thick ink. The heavy breathing of the ink demon was behind him, slowly getting close now as Henry was trying to maneuver through the twisted hallways. The exit, he needed to get to the exit, that’s the only way he would be safe. Dammit, he knew he should’ve left sooner, why didn’t he listen to his gut feeling? The ink demon let out a loud, ear piercing screech that almost caused Henry to trip over his own feet in fear. No, he was almost to the exit, he could see the door propped open now. He was almost there, he was almost- Wrong. Two more steps and he would’ve been out of the studio. Two steps was all it took for the man to fall through the flooring, falling down several stories, landing back first into a pool of ink. That fall should have killed him, the worse it caused was a sore back.

He let out a groan, laying in the ink for a moment before forcing himself to stand up. Fantastic, now he had to find his way out from an area of the studio he didn’t even know existed. There was too much ink for him to leave the room with on its own, this must have been a usual occurrence since there was a valve that was marked to drain the ink. Henry turned it, in a matter of seconds the ink escaped the room, exposing a door and another cassette player.

“It’s dark and it’s cold and it’s stuck in behind every single wall now. In some places, I swear this godforsaken ink is clear up to my knees! Who ever thought that these crummy pipes could hold up under this kind of strain either knows something about pressure I don’t, or he’s some kind of idiot. But the real worst part about all this… are them noises the system makes. Like a dying dog on it’s last legs. Makes no mistake, this place… this… machine… heck, this whole darn thing… it just isn’t natural. You can bet, I won’t be doing anymore repairs job for Mister Joey Drew.”

Henry didn’t recognize the voice on this tape, it had to be someone who came in after he left to help out around here. He couldn’t focus on that right now, he had to keep draining the ink until he could make an escape plan. Henry continued to go lower and lower, twisting every valve until he came across a door that led to a blocked path of boarded up doorway. On the wall, in fresh ink, read “THE CREATOR LIED TO US.” Whatever that meant… Oh, well, maybe Henry’s luck was finally turning around. On the table next to the message was an axe, yeah, he could use this to get out of here.

“This will definitely come in handy,” he said before chopping down the wooden planks. There were more obstacles to get around, but with the axe nothing was impossible.

This led to a room, a dim room lit with only candles around a pentagram with coffins propped up on the wall behind it. If that wasn’t concerning enough, sitting inside the pentagram appeared to be a human child, but… maybe not completely human. This boy had small, black horns sitting on top of his head, he had very dark features; jet black shaggy hair, a black button down shirt that were cut to make into short sleeves with a white bowtie, black pants and shoes, all making his skin look extremely pale. It wasn’t the horns that caused Henry to stare at him in shock, it was his eyes. His right eye had an almost white iris while his left eye had a jet black iris. Henry could just make out the two fangs that were poking out of the kids mouth. The child was holding the Bendy plush toy that Henry had placed on the pillar upstairs with ink stained hands, staring up at Henry with wide eyes. Henry was taken aback, to say the least. How did this… child (could he even call this a child?) get in the studio?

“What are you-“ Henry stopped talking when the child seemed to wince out of fear, thinking that it was axe, he set it down on the floor, “I’m not going to hurt you.” He held out a hand to the boy to show that he was no danger to him. Panicking, the child stood up quickly, backing up away from him. Every time he backed up Henry would take a small step closer.

The room seemed to be shaking around them, but Henry didn’t pay any mind to that right now. His main focus was trying to figure out why someone was in the workshop when it should have been locked up for a couple of years.

“I promise, I’m not going to-“ Once again, Henry was cut off, but this time it wasn’t by his own doing. The moment he stepped into the pentagram he started seeing vivid visions of the ink machine flash before his eyes, a chair, and the ink demon he saw earlier. He let out a grunt before passing out over the pentagram.

[dcarevu]

Batman TAS: Mad as a Hatter

“Why don’t you go do something useful like… Oh, go jump in the river.”

Episode: 27 Robin: No Writer: Paul Dini Director: Frank Paur Animator: Akom Airdate: October 12, 1992 Grade: B

I was in high school when Tim Burton’s version of Alice in Wonderland showed up in theaters, and like almost everyone I knew, I could not have been more excited. I really loved the Disney version, and considering that the man involved with Beetlejuice, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Batman, and more would be giving us his take on it right as I was starting to move toward my emo-scene phase, it was a dream come true. Even now, on paper, this seems like the perfect recipe, doesn’t it? But I think most of us can agree that it just didn’t meet expectations. The first time I watched it, I wouldn’t admit to myself that I wasn’t a fan. It was dark, and strange, and Tim Burton + Alice in Wonderland. Everything I wanted! As a developing emo kid, I was supposed to like it! The reason I bring this up is because Batman the Animated Series being fused with Alice in Wonderland seems like another fantasy-combination that would have no way to turn out subpar. Mad as a Hatter is an episode that, for the most part, actually gets a lot of praise. Alas (or, for the sake of the pun, Alice), maybe the idea seemed a little bit too easy, making it easier to over-shoot, missing the mark. This is another episode featuring a crazy set-piece at the end, but it is also another episode that was handed to Akom. Christ, why. Of all the episodes. All the episodes. Why is it some of the ones with the highest reliance on visuals? This episode involved not just complicated, creative visuals, but incredibly weird ones as well that needed to be animated just right to not look like subjects from one’s fever dreams. You wanna know how that turned out? Well, I heard an, “Oh my god!” from Char as the walrus and the carpenter made their appearances. While that did make me laugh quite hard, and Akom definitely got the weirdness down, it should have looked like intentional weirdness. Beyond the animation, the story is actually decent. It is Paul Dini, so what can you really expect. But even here, I would not call it A-level material. Some strange dialogue/delivery choices, and other leaps of logic/strains on the suspension of disbelief take away from it and leave me feeling extremely neutral.

Okay, so after that paragraph above was written, I went and took the screenshots from my DVD. I was surprised. The DVD looks so much better than the Blu Ray here. This was the case with The Clock King too, and I fear it is starting to seem like a pattern. I think it all comes down to the Blu Ray release looking too clean, and way too bright at times. Because of course, the DVD is in lower definition. Shadows are lightened so that we can see all of the imperfections of Akom’s drawings. Smudges and dirt are removed, giving the people a plastic look at times. It’s not the way the show was meant to be watched (as I said, probably VHS would be my preferred way of viewing if that were feasible). This puts me in an interesting spot, because I paid near $100 for the set, and also, some episodes look absolutely phenomenal. But is it worth it when some look like absolute crap? The great-looking shows look godly. The mediocre-looking ones look horrible. I was ready to tear into how Mad as a Hatter looked and rip it a new one, but now I do not think that would be fair. No, the animation here isn’t perfect. But it’s passable. And I think that’s worth something given the frequency at which I complain about Akom. At this point, I have watched up to Robin’s Reckoning. From here, I honestly might start using the ol’ dvd’s again. It’s unfortunate, but if I go back to specific episodes that I love later on, then I’ll use the Blu Ray. Remember, I am watching these with Char who has never seen the DCAU before. I want the series to make the best possible impression, and even with the best plot ever, a bad-looking episode can make a disappointing episode. Merely getting the episodes at a higher definition, but leaving them dirty and dark would have been my preferred solution. Anyway, back to talking about the episode itself (and yes, this does slightly affect how I see the episode. At first I was giving it a C. But I think I’ll have to bump it up to B territory).

We start with episode with some cute-ass mice, only to then be introduced to a face that a mother would have a hard time loving. Jervis Tetch, aka The Mad Hatter, is a character-design, alright. I think I know what they were going for, though. He has this kooky look that makes him stand out from every other character. He certainly looks like he could play someone from Wonderland. But the problem I think comes from Akom (ironic given that last paragraph, huh?). This design could probably work, but he has such an odd model, so I think they had a tough time animating him. Or maybe he simply does not translate to movement very well in general, and there was a problem the moment his model sheet was created. Regardless, he can be pretty tough to look at sometimes. Other times, though, he does have that level of whacky which I would hope would be in an episode based on Alice in Wonderland. But we see that Jervis is working on some mind-control technology while also being smitten for a girl that works in his office named Alice. Unfortunately, Alice has a boyfriend, and like many sociopaths in real life, Jervis is not okay with this, taking matters into his own hands. First of all, her name being Alice is kinda stupid, and Char agrees. It takes parallels a little bit too far, and Char noted that it would have been more subtle if her name were something like Alycia. Alice is one of the only people that Jervis feels is nice to him, so if we follow the most sound of incel-logic, she owes him her heart, mind, and body. Not only is she nice to him, but, again, her name is Alice. And it would not surprise me if this were a main factor of why Jervis is into her. He has an Alice in Wonderland poster in his office, he takes her to a theme park of sorts that has a section which is themed after the book, he owns a Mad Hatter costume (or perhaps he obtained this from the park), he quotes the book regularly, etc. He is clearly obsessed. When we reach the point where he mentions that it is one of his favorite stories, it’s like, “Wow! No kidding!” He is not quite wired into reality, likely developing this obsession at an early age to escape from life’s burdens. But Wonderland has burdens of its own.

Jervis ends up using these mind-control cards that he created (another Alice in Wonderland-related thing) to make people basically do his bidding. He first uses them on two thugs attempting to rob him and Alice, forcing them to climb up on top of a bridge and jump into the river. Batman catches notice of this through a police broadcast, and to my surprise, the show mentions a possible suicide in progress. How often do you hear a family cartoon like this use the word “suicide”? I think this is the only time I have ever heard it, despite references occasionally popping up in shows like Spongebob. He then uses more cards on his coworkers, Alice’s fiancé, and Alice herself, creating an army of Alice in Wonderland-themed warriors to defend him from Batman when Batman finds out what’s going on and sets after him. He wants Alice all to himself, and is willing to do whatever possible to obtain her. The final battle takes place in the theme park, the big set-piece of the episode. It’s got some great looking background paintings that 100% capture the tone of the book. It is a shame that the animation done by Akom couldn’t hold up to Radomski’s work. We have moments such as Batman balancing on top of the walls of a playing card maze that I wish stressed me out a little bit more. But because of how stilted the movement is, Batman never really seems like he is having a tough time keeping balance, even though we clearly see him struggling. The fight scenes could also be much better, with more impact felt. The odd costumes that most everyone is wearing makes for some really distorted-looking characters, and it’s clear that not a lot of time was spent making them look quite right. At the same time, though, between the subject material, the gimmicks, the overall surreal nature, and the background art, it is still a lot of fun to watch, even if it is in a more campy way. It is not an episode to be taken extremely seriously. This can be a problem with Batman. The tone can fluctuate greatly from episode to episode. At the beginning, it did not matter as much. Right away we had varying quality and seriousness. I mean, we went from On Leather Wings to Christmas With the Joker. But now we are getting gothic masterpieces like Two-Face, so episodes like Mad as a Hatter feel jarring as hell. It is an episode I enjoyed more on second watch as I gathered screenshots. I loosened up and let myself have fun with it.

The Mad Hatter fails to be a sympathetic villain like I feel they might have been going for, but I do enjoy him being so delusional and sociopathic. When Alice mentions her boyfriend, he gets this scary scowl, and you know at that moment that this is no character you want to root for. When Alice’s boyfriend temporarily breaks up with her, rather than attempting to comfort her and being upset over her sorrow, he jumps for joy because he has a chance to finally swoop in (the epitome of an Internet “nice guy”). When she gets back together with her boyfriend, turned fiancé, he squeezes a bouquet of roses in frustration so hard that he bleeds. I think they were able to get away with this portion because maybe the blood could have passed off as liquid from the flowers? Which doesn’t really make a lot of sense, but for the sake of the blood being included, um, sure. It was definitely rose-goo, guys. Not blood at all… And he also blames Batman for why things ended up the way they did, even though Batman had virtually nothing to do with anything until the very end. He decided to mind-control everyone because he was being a spoiled little piss-baby who could not let the girl he supposedly loves be happy. Char did not care for the character, and jokingly mentioned that he was appropriating the Mad Hatter, doing things that he would never do. Like some batshit crazy super-fan who feels sooo connected with a character, but actually doesn’t understand them at all.

Not a perfect episode, but a grower.

See? Cute-ass mice!

Wow, I didn’t realize that we were watching Attack on Titan. (Joke inspired by Char).

The poster on the wall matches the title card/an actual illustration from the book. It’s actually a pretty dope poster.

A variety of shots showing Jervis’ face. See how inconsistent it is? It is a little similar to the Pokémon Drilbur, where it only works 2D. Adding an element of 3D illusion (such as movement) causes it to fall apart.

Oh, sure, go and rob them right after you see Batman drive by. That’s always smart.

“Please, Mr. Hat. Go easy on us.” The delivery here was wicked funny. It was so monotone, and sounded like he was faking.

I quite like this facial expression. His smile reminds me of the Cheshire Cat.

Batman + Taco Bell

I love the panic in Batman’s voice as he tries to stop them from jumping off of the bridge. It shows how concerned he is with keeping them safe.

They were able to animate this shimmer pretty damn well. Then again, how hard could it be?

A very subtle recreation of the illustration/title card.

I don’t think the background here quite comes together, the composition is off. Still neat to look at.

A close-up of the illustration.

Now this is an ugly facial expression. Gross! And it’s not like this was a quick frame. It was there long enough to notice.

This shot has a lovely glow to it. It looks quite nice. 

One of the only times they were able to get away with blood. Um. Oops. I meant flower-goo! It’s flower-goo, guys! The blood drips right onto Billy’s face. As if a hit were put on him. Awesome detail.

“Oh, do be quiet!”

Bruce whispers “Congratulations.” in such a goobery way. I love it. 

The shadow of the plants shifted in some wonky-looking ways. Also, when the Mad Hatter and Batman both arrive on the scene, she says, “This is getting too weird.” But she says it so nonchalantly. Not the best delivery.

Very sloppy-looking drawings of their faces. These costumes, though. 

Cool impact here. He just decimates that wood. I’m not sure if Storybook Land has the safest costumes. 

This is some enjoyable stuff right here. I had a lot of fun with this portion.

“Off with his head!” I should have counted how many times this line was said.

Perfect example if how cool the painted visuals are paired with some mediocre animation. Hell, I’m pretty sure Batman’s run was recycled for two of these stills.

Gee, I wonder which cards are going to move. Great Mad Hatter, pose, though. This is what I wish he looked like all the time!

The looming Jabberwock ends up falling on him, ending the adventure through Wonderland. 

There’s no reversing the damage, Jervis. You’ll never talk with her again. Was it worth it? Also, his hair totally changed color at one point. Um... Maybe he dyed it?

Char’s grade: D Next time: Dreams in Darkness

Full episode list here!

[the-canary]

Of Gravity and Revolution - B.B

Summary: Moving into a new university, James Barnes didn’t except to fall in love with the professor next door. (College Professor AU!Reader/Bucky Barnes)

Masterlist

A/N: This is for @redgillan and her love towards Prof. Bucky! There is a lot of mention of political science, I’m sooo sorry. 

Please enjoy! Like always, feedback is always welcomed.

James Buchanan Barnes understood early on that things were done differently in a smaller university. For one he had more interactions with students and its diverse faculty, on the other hand resources were a bit more limited, a bit more cramped. He learned this while staring at his new office on the 5 floor of the central lecture hall. Back in the city, he and the rest of the astrophysics department had a whole building to themselves, here he was cramped in together with the political science, religious studies, and various other little sects that came with this private university’s curriculum. It didn’t bother him, but it was definitely a shock.

The small room barely fits half the books that used to fit in his old office, but James takes it all with stride as he tries to make it feel like his own -- a poster here, some books there, a picture of himself with Peggy and Steve when they were graduate students. He’s too preoccupied moving things to notice a figure standing at his opened door, obviously appreciating the view before knocking on the door.

“Hi neighbor,” a raspy voice exclaims, as he turns to see a woman dressed in jeans and a t-shirt standing in behind him, and while classes hasn’t started yet, James knows this woman feels at home within these walls and how she carries herself, which is very different approach to his dress slacks and rolled up blue shirt.

“Hi,” he gets up and walks over to her with a cool smile on his face as he stretches out his hand, “Dr. James Barnes, Astrophysics Department.”

“Oh, so you’re the one they replaced Rumlow with,” she makes a face at the name, like many of the other staff that James had met with, as she shakes his hand. She states her own name before explaining.

“...I’ve work a few doors down, part of the Pol Sci Department,” she explains with an easygoing smile that catches his attention and doesn’t let go. She’s about explain something when her name is called down the other side of the hallway. They both turn to see a short red-haired women wearing a formal blouse and skirt. She nods and looks at James one more time before moving away.

“If you need a tour of the place, let me know.”

James can’t take her up on that offer, since Dr. Banner --the Dean of the Science Department-- shows him around the school a couple of hours after that. The beginning of fall semester begins and James finds himself busy between the classes that he has, the club that he is supposed to be running, and other tasks handed to him as the only other member of this part of the department. However, he sees her from time to time.

“Good morning, Dr. Barnes,” she says with a smile.

“How are you classes so far?” she asks one time when they are walking together through the university’s lawn.

“Are you choosing that for lunch?” she asks while standing behind him in line waiting to get a late lunch.

A laugh or the sight of a bright smile catches him off guard when they are both heading towards their offices or going into the faculty lunch area and he had a dire need to learn more about her. Slowly, he learns that she’s the senior most member of the Political Science Department, as the expert of history and political theory before the 20th century. The rest of the department is also women with Prof. Romanoff leading anything during and after the 20th century and Dr. Hill leading any American and Law studies. It was an intimating group of women, but James didn’t see it that way -- not with her.

5 minutes.

James thinks as he stares at the digital clock on his computer. It had become a small ritual as of late for him to get up and have lunch just before his first class of the day started since all his classes where during the afternoon and evening. If he timed leaving his office well enough, he would get to see you.

“Oh! Good afternoon,” you say with a bright smile as you open your door, as he closes his, to put your books back into your office. James gives you a smile, as he peaks in a little more. Your office is certainly messier than his with piles of books everywhere, some potted plants near the window that faced the courtyard, and posters here and there from various films. You place the books on your cluttered desk before turning back to look at him.

“How were your classes today?” it is the same question he had asked you since the beginning of this little dalliance since most of your classes where in the early morning and evening hours; it was the only time he really got with you and he tried to make the most of it. His heart stutters a bit at the sight of your smile, as you go on to explain what the freshman did in your World History class and the upperclassmen did in your Revolutions class. You explain theory as best you could and add little anecdotes here and there. You laugh and ask his opinion on current events, and if anyone saw the two of you, they could swear James Barnes had the most tender look on his face.     

It’s a little later in the semester when he hears it, a soft song playing throughout the hall that houses his office after his last evening class. James cocks an eyebrow as he makes his way to his office. Then, he sees a light coming from your office and the music playing a little louder than before. He takes cautious steps and sees you, hair in a messy bun with a stack of green books and takeout on the side. He smiles as you tap the red pen to the beat of the song. You’re marking a green book with all red as he knocks the door.

“Grading?” he asks, as you jump a little to the sound of his voice. You give him tired smile and nod telling him to come in. Your office is a little less cluttered than before since he can actually sit down, as you turn off the music.

“Alice in Chains?” he lets out a soft laugh at your taste in music because with every new day he is learning a little bit more about you and sometimes it surprises him. You grin as you take a bite out of your food.

“Older brothers are big Grunge fans,”  you explain, before going back to tapping your red pen and adding as an afterthought, “You got any siblings?”

“Three younger sisters,” he declares as you let out a painful whistle and proceed to ask him how that was like, which soon turns into swapping embarrassing childhood stories. The papers you were grading are long forgotten, though neither of you forget that night any time soon.

Talks and random moments soon turn into more in depth conversations and exchanging books over the main subjects you love, though it is a little hard to understand at times for the other party. Natasha points this out during one of your shared lunches to talk about the political science students and their next classes.

“You seriously gave him Fukuyama to read?” Natasha scoffs behind her cup of coffee, as you shrug.

“I talked about it and he seemed interested,” you explain a little more horrified than before, as you take a bit out of your burger. She shakes her head, clearly not thinking that such a man would exists.

“I mean, you could have started him out with Plato, Rousseau, hell even Marx,” she exclaims in subtle disbelief, “But, no, give him ‘time is cyclical’ man. Either you want him to run or you…”

Green eyes stare at your face for a long while, trying to catch any changes as you give her a bright smile with flushed cheeks, Natasha curses under her breathe but can’t help but smile at the same time too. It had been a long time since you had been this happy.

“So, what are you reading?” she questions, as Maria enters the dinning hall and she knows her time is limited before everything really goes into business mode.  

“Neil de Grase Tyson,” you answer and she laughs.

The science students may not have known Dr. Barnes long enough to see the difference, but the political science students could see that you smiled more. You might still have some of the hardest classes in the department, but there was certainly something light about you. A group of upperclassmen, mostly young woman that liked talking and asking you questions, especially when you were spending those non-tutoring hours outside of your office, knew something was up -- something that they had never seen in the 3-4 years that they had spent studying underneath your tutelage. So, they hover around the hall after a few classes and while they get all their questions answered, they see something new -- the newest staff member watching your door.

It doesn’t take them along to put two and two together. So, before the winter semester ends, they gather around his office (when yours is empty) with bright smiles that send James into slight confusion.

“Her birthday is the last day of finals,” Helen, the oldest member declares, “She likes funny political puns and old cartoons. Just the let you know.”

James blinks for a moment.

“Good luck, Dr. Barnes,” they all coo before leaving and James quickly opens the notes app on his phone to remember the gold that had been given him, and let’s just say you had a very funny birthday present at the end of a tiring day at semester.

Winter break in a new city isn't any fun if you don’t know anyone and while James is aware that he could have gone home or spent the holidays with Steve and Peggy. He also wanted to get used to living in this new town, even if it was alone and he knew there were going to be times where he was needed within the university. And while he might have been hoping for something, for someone to spend the holidays with he was too chicken in the end to ask for your phone number, too afraid that what he wanted wasn’t how you pictured this casual friendships between coworkers. Then, on a wintry December he sees his work email has one new message.   

Dear James,

I am sorry if this may seem inappropriate to you, but I saw a stargazing event being advertised for this weekend. My curiosity was piqued, but I don’t know much about the subject. Since you do, would you mind going with me to the event?

I have attached a flyer to the event in the email.

James never answered an email so fast in his life before, as he yells in excitement in his kitchen. And slowly but surely, stargazing turns into lunch and coffee “meetings” between the two of you for the rest of winter break.

The spring semester eases you into a mix of both, from grading papers together in the evening to meeting every other during the weekend for some activity, and James swears that he’s falling for you at this point with your witty one liners and bright eyes that seem take in everything he talks about. However, fear gurgles at his throat at the thought of putting a label at whatever you have been dancing around. Labels aren’t important, he thinks but you put a stop to that.

“James, do you want to go to the Academic Showcase together?” you question as you mark another green book with your red pen, not seeing his surprised face. The Academic Symposium was a university event that encased all the research done by students who had done any independent study within the past year, everyone --including Deans and the President-- attended. This meant going public with whatever you had, and it caused him to pause.

“You don’t have to…” your quivering voice brings him back to reality, as he finds you staring at him with a smile, which by now he knew wasn’t good. So, he places at hand over your own and grins.

“Of course, I’ll go. Gotta see my girl’s work after all,” he gives you a crooked grin before grasping your hand tightly into his own. The bright blush on your face telling him that it might all right to call you his cause that familiar feeling to bloom again, as he goes back to that crazy l-word once more.

Now, due to it being his first year, James doesn’t have anything to present. So, he takes his time walking around and taking in all the presentations, some catching his interest more than others as he gets more excited as he gets closer to your side of the room. That’s when he sees you, wearing a glimmering black dress, while answering any questions your student can’t seem to answer about the French Revolution and St. Just. Starry eyed and varies hand motions with that upticked smile and James knows he’s done for -- he’s in love.

He watches until all the important people are called for dinner and your student is dragged away by a very curious donor of the school. He walks over and slides his arm around your waist as you melt right at his side like you belong there. You look at him and smile.

“You’re amazing,” he declares as he moves over to look over the work you helped put together. You grin while turning to look at him with a fondness he certainly hasn’t seen before.  

“I know,” you laugh, as he laughs before pulling you into a hug. His chest rumbles with laughter before you speak again, “But, you are too, and I can’t wait to see your work on display.”

James isn’t why he decides to say it in that moment, but the words of encouragement and steady belief in what you know he was capable of awes him. Your grip and on his jacket and those bright red lips tell James that’s he’s done, that this is it.

“I love you,” he murmurs softly, hoping you didn’t hear him but the soft kiss on his cheek tells him a different story. You move your hand to have his face looking at  yours and for a moment James fears what you might say, until he sees your eyes filled with nothing but adoration.  

“Love ya too, Bucky,” you answer back, light and joyfully with a huge grin, as you call him by his childhood nickname and he isn’t quite so sure where you had heard it from --maybe, when he was talking about Steve again?-- but he decides it’s the best way he has ever heard it being said before.

And underneath the sparkling light and St. Just’s watchful eyes, James feels the start of something new, something permanent beginning to form -- a small revolution all on its own.  

[advocatewrites-blog]

Into the Unknown Part 4 Chapter 4

Into the Unknown

Fandom: Undertale, Coraline (book), Over the Garden Wall, Paranorman, Gravity Falls (season 2)

Characters: Frisk, Norman B., Dipper P., Mabel P., Coraline J., Wirt, Greg, the Cat, the Frog; Sans, Toriel, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Asgore,; the Other Mother, the Beast, Agatha P., Bill Cipher, Asriel D., Chara D.,

Pairings: Not the focus. Alphys/Undyne, with mentions of Papyrus/Mettaton, sans/Toriel/Asgore, and Wirt/Sara. Due to the nature of Undertale and the dating segments, there is also interpretable Papyrus/Wirt, Undyne/Mabel, Alphys/Dipper, Napstablook/Norman, Mettaton/Norman, Mettaton/Mabel, Sans/Dipper, Sans/Norman, and Sans/Greg.

Rated a high +K for violence, mild language, horrific elements that may be disturbing to younger readers,  mentions of child abuse and bullying, character death that is sometimes permanent, and mentions of suicide that may be triggering. These elements remain relatively unchanged from their source material, which most all are for children, but discretion is advised nonetheless.

Disclaimer: Undertale was created and owned by Toby Fox. Coraline was created by Neil Gaiman and owned by Bloomsbury and Laika. Over the Garden Wall was created by Patrick McHale and owned by Cartoon Network. Paranorman was created by Sam Fell and Chris Butler and owned by Laika. Gravity Falls was created by Alex Hirsch and owned by Disney. Any other work mentioned or homage are property of their respective owners. This is a fan-made, nonprofit work that only seeks to entertain. Please support the original franchises.

Chapter 4

“OHHH YES! WELCOME BEAUTIES…TO TODAY’S QUIZ SHOW!”

Spotlights engulfed the lab. Two disco balls dropped from the lighting fixtures and engulfed the three into multicolored lights. Confetti fell from somewhere. Dipper knew that he was not going to like whatever happened next.

“OH BOY! I CAN ALREADY TELL IT’S GONNA BE A GREAT SHOW!” said the robot. “EVERYONE GIVE A BIG HAND TO OUR WONDERFUL CONTESTANTS!”

A fake, monotone clapping noise echoed from the robot’s soundboard as more confetti poured onto them.

“NEVER PLAYED BEFORE GORGEOUS? THE RULES ARE SIMPLE. ANSWER CORRECTLY.” said the robot. “OR YOU DIE!!!

Mettaton attacks.

“LET’S START WITH AN EASY ONE!!” said Mettaton. “WHAT’S THE PRIZE FOR ANSWERING CORRECTLY?”

“Uh…” said Dipper. “A new car?”

“THAT IS INCORRECT!!!”

A lightning-bolt shaped bullet shot from Mettaton’s microphone and collided with Dipper’s Soul.

“Are you okay?” Mabel asked.

“I’m fine,” said Dipper. “Not sure how many of those I can take. We’re gonna have to be smart about answering them.”

“Alright,” said Mabel. “Making things up is my specialty!”

“GLAD TO HEAR IT GORGEOUS!” said Mettaton. “HERE’S YOUR PRIZE: WHAT IS THE KING’S FULL NAME?”

Dipper actually remembered that one. Papyrus had said it, Undyne had said it, and the turtle that sold them things had said it even though he insisted on calling him “Ol’ King Fluffybuns”.

“Asgore Dreemurr!” said Dipper.

“CORRECT! WHAT A TERRIFIC ANSWER!”

“I was going to say Doctor Friendship…” said Mabel.

“NOW ENOUGH ABOUT YOU. LET’S TALK ABOUT ME! WHAT ARE ROBOTS MADE OF?”

“Metal and magic!” said Mabel.

That one had come pretty quickly, but Dipper figured that it was easy to guess.

“HERE’S AN EASY ONE FOR YOU: TWO TRAINS, TRAIN A AND TRAIN B, SIMULTANEOUSLY DEPART STATION A AND STATION B. STATION A AND STATION B ARE 252.5 MILES APART FROM ONE ANOTHER. TRAIN IS IS MOVING AT 124.7 MILESPERHOURTOWARDSSTATIONBAND TRAINBISMOVING-AT253.5MILESPERHOURTOWARSSTATIONAIFBOTHTRAINSDEPARTEDAT10:0AMANDITISNOW10:09HOWMUCHLONGERUNTILBOTHTRAINSPASSEACHOTHER?”

“32.058 minutes!” said Mabel.

Dipper had no idea how he could even solve that one, let alone Mabel.

“NEARLY RAN OUT THE CLOCK THERE, GORGEOUS! BUT THAT IS CORRECT!”

“You spent the entire time asking the question!” said Dipper.

“DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE BACK YOUR CORRECT ANSWER?” Mettaton asked.

“We’re good!” Both the twins said.

“EXCELLENT! BECAUSE FROM HERE ON OUT THEY’RE ONLY GOING TO GET HARDER FROM HERE!” said Mettaton.”NEXT QUESTION: HOW MANY FLYS ARE IN THIS JAR?”

“54!” said Mabel.

“WHAT MONSTER IS THIS?”

“Mettaton!”

“BUT CAN YOU GET THIS ONE? WOULD YOU SMOOCH A GHOST?”

“Heck yeah!”

“WHAT A GOOD ANSWER! I LOVE IT!!!!” said Mettaton. “NEXT QUESTIONS: HOW MANY LETTERS ARE IN THE NAME METATTON NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN…”

“56!”

“That is correct!”

“How are you getting all of these?” Dipper asked.

“Alphys is telling me,” said Mabel. “But the smooch a ghost one was all me!”

Alphys froze.

“ALPHYS…” said Mettaton. “WERE YOU HELPING THE CONTESTANT?”

“U-u-uh, I was—” Alphys stammered.

“THAT’S ALRIGHT,” said Mettaton. “I’LL GIVE THEM AN ANSWER YOU’RE SURE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO! WHO DOES DOCTOR ALPHYS HAVE A CRUSH ON?”

The two twins froze.

“Could we…not answer that one?” Dipper asked.

Entry no. 34

During our game of multi-dimensional chess, Bill mentioned something interesting. A Kingdom of Monsters. He seemed hesitant to discuss more; although it seemed more out of ignorance than ill-will. After some prying, he managed to bring up some key points. Sometime before Gravity Falls was inhabited, humans lived with monsters. A war broke out between the two races, leading to the monsters becoming imprisoned underneath a magic suppressing barrier. Bill mentioned that he had tried to enter the kingdom several times to look for someone to help him build the portal, but he kept being chased out by some “annoying dog”.

Whether or not he meant to, Bill has just made a phenomenal breakthrough with my research. Is this Kingdom of Monsters the source of all weirdness in Gravity Falls? Or even the world? Maybe there can be a direct link between the monsters in the forest and the monsters underground. Furthermore, if Bill really wanted to find a scientific mind in the kingdom of monsters, there could be someone else working on a portal right now.  Someone else I could compare notes with!

I expect the portal will be finished by tomorrow. Perhaps once Bill can enter our dimension, I can welcome him to Earth properly with a little hike.

It was much later, after the quiz show and after a cooking show and after a news show, when sans made himself known and invited Dipper to dinner.

“where’s that sister of yours?” he asked.

“Well…”

“‘A tragic tale of two lovers, torn apart by the tides of fate’…” Mabel read off of the poster in front of her. “That sounds right up my alley!”

She ignored the fact that 75% of the poster was Mettaton’s face. It would be nice to see him actually acting, and not just the elaborate set pieces he set up when he wanted to kill them. She would have to make a mental note to come back and catch it once Mettaton had calmed down a bit.

Mabel was so lost in thought that she did not notice where she was walking next. She stopped as she noticed she was on stage.

“Oh,” said Mabel as realization dawned on her.

“OH? COULD IT BE…” Mettaton’s voice echoed through the stage. “MY ONE TRUE LOVE?”

Mettaton descended down the fake balcony with all the grace of a vacuum cleaner. The song’s opening covered most of it up. He dropped the hem of his bright blue ballgown and began to sing.

That was when Mabel knew that this was really right up her alley.

“guess it doesn’t really matter,” said sans. “so, what do you know about a talking flower?”

The atmosphere grew suddenly very heavy. Dipper swallowed before he spoke.

“We found it in the Ruins,” said Dipper. “It’s this little gold flower named Flowey—“

“really?” said sans. “couldn’t think of a better name?”

“I didn’t name it!” Dipper said. “It calls itself that!”

“alright. tell me more about flowey mc flower face.”

“Well, when we left the Ruins, he talked about a lot of weird things,” said Dipper. “Stuff like how he was the one that would inherit this world...and how we weren’t the ones he was looking for…sans, how many humans have been in the Underground before us?”

“haven’t you heard undyne, kid?” sans asked. “there’ve been six humans in the underground. not including you two.”

“And is that where you got the lamps?” Dipper asked.

sans fell silent.

“Look, if we’re going to work together, we need to be 100% honest with each other,” Dipper said. “I won’t…judge you if you did something bad. Just be honest with me.”

Sans did not say anything for a moment. Just when Dipper was about to speak up again, he chuckled lowly.

“don’t judge anyone, you say? kid, that’s a good one and you don’t even know why yet,” said sans. “alright. there have been a total of 12 humans in the underground. i’ve seen six. just not at the same time.”

“So there’s a way out of the Underground then?” Dipper asked.

“sure there is. but that’s not what i’m talking about,” said sans.

“Well, what do you know about the other humans?”

“i’d say most weren’t older than you,” said sans. “all came from the ruins, all left through new home. all came at about the same time. don’t know what happened to them. don’t think they knew why they were here, either.”

“Well, do you think that flower might have something to do with it?” Dipper asked.

“don’t know. never seen ‘em before,” said sans after a minute. “well, if nothing else, this run’s been good for information. anything else you need to know?”

Dipper opened his mouth for a minute. But there was not anything else he could think to ask.

“great,” said sans. “if you get to the castle, i won’t stop you. but try and think about what you’re getting into, alright?”

It was only when sans got to the fichus in the corner that Dipper found what he wanted to ask next.

“What do you mean, ‘this time’? You keep talking about ‘this time’ and ‘these runs’, like you’ve already seen all this before!” said Dipper. “What are you trying to hide? I won’t be able to help you if you don’t tell me everything!”

“listen, kid,” said sans. “it’s not gonna matter. even if i do tell you everything, you’re just gonna disappear again. and there’ll be another kid waiting for me at my station. or maybe something worse. i’ve given up trying to change this.”

Dipper’s mouth hung open as he tried to think of what to say. Everything that sans said ran through his head. And then he realized.

“You’re a time traveler?”

The light in sans’ eyesockets went dark. He did not say anything.

“Why didn’t you just say that?” Dipper asked. “Maybe we can help you! Are you with the same agency as Blendin? Is there actually a Time Baby?”

“well,” said sans. “you’re close. if there’s a time traveler, it’s not me.”

Dipper probably had more experience with time travel than the average person, but it was still limited. There was stuff in the journals and the science fiction books he read, but most of what he really remembered came from the 80’s movies Mabel watched. There was one he remembered quite well, about the crabby man who was stuck in the same day repeating over and over.

“Oh,” said Dipper, because he was not sure what else he could say.

“if that’s all you have to say, kid, then i better head out,” said sans. “it’s almost papyrus’ bedtime, and he gets cranky without a bedtime story.”

“We’ll find a way to fix this,” said Dipper. “Mabel and I. We have, uh…experience with this kind of thing.”

“i mean, you probably won’t,” said sans. “but thanks anyway.”

He walked past the fichus in the corner and disappeared.

It took Dipper longer to leave. Too much was going through his head, not just about what sans had said but how he looked when he said it. He was going to have to set things right. There was no way around it.

When he did stumble out, he was surprised to find Mabel.

“Hey Dipper!” Mabel said. “I just finished up Mettaton’s play! How was your date with sans?”

It barely fazed Dipper to hear it called a date. His mind was on too many other things.

“Do you remember what the Journal said about time travel?” Dipper asked.

“Hmm…I’m not sure about the Journal, but there was that Blendin’ guy,” Mabel said.

“That’s what I was thinking too,” said Dipper. “No matter how we get back home, we need to remember to find a way to contact him.”

“Sounds like a plan!” Mabel said. “I’ll make a note of it in this cool notebook I bought from the turtle!”

[aion-rsa]

Flash Gordon’s Original Ending Revealed

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Following our enlightening Flash Gordon 40th anniversary interview with the film’s director, Mike Hodges, we got to have an in-depth conversation with author John Walsh. Titan Books published Walsh’s exhaustive coffee table book Flash Gordon: The Official Story of the Film last November. It was a labor of love for Walsh that delves into the making of the movie and celebrates its enduring appeal.

Walsh is a Trustee of the Ray and Diana Harryhausen Foundation, and was also behind the BBC’s critically acclaimed documentary series Sofa Surfers, which explored childhood homelessness, and the BAFTA-nominated film My Life: Karate Kids, which tackled issues of bullying among disabled children.

Den of Geek: You’ve been involved with preserving the legacy of the late Ray Harryhausen, and your first book through Titan was about some of his work. You first met him at film school in the 80s?

John Walsh: That’s right. I was BBC Young Filmmaker of the Year when I was 15. I was offered a place in London Film School when I was doing my A-levels and they sort of scooped me up. At the end of your first year you do a 16mm documentary film. I found Ray Harryhausen‘s name in the London telephone directory. I asked my parents for permission to use the phone, as you did in those days. My mom said “Ring after six when it’s cheaper.” So I rang him up and said “I’m making a film about your life and work” and he was very gracious about it. 

I went to see him. I’d done some very basic animation as a youngster but was fascinated by all his creatures and everything else. We stayed in touch over the years. He asked me to become a trustee of his foundation, so I’ve been helping to look after the vast collection, which is the largest of its kind outside of the Walt Disney Company. His daughter, Vanessa Harryhausen, and I run it with one member of paid staff. Then I did the book – Harryhausen: The Lost Movies.

At what point did you decide that Flash Gordon was next for the John Walsh treatment?

The Lost Movies was stories about films that we think we know but hadn’t been told. Titan are very good at making books on our favorite films – like Dark Crystal and Labyrinth – and those films which maybe we liked on VHS but weren’t successful when they came out theatrically. I was just thinking, gosh, no one has done a Flash Gordon book yet.

It took about eight months to get Universal Pictures and King Features, who were the rights holders for the Flash Gordon character, and Studio Canal, who now own the physical asset of that 1980 film, to come together and put a deal together. 

What happened after the deal was done?

I thought “they’ll give me all their photos because there’ll be a gazillion photos in the archive” – I got the shock of my life when there were no photos or any assets worth putting into a book! I was like “oh no, what have I done?” I drank from the poison chalice to some extent, because I thought that the work had finished when we got the rights, and it had really just started. 

Universal Pictures had some of the publicity photos, but not enough to put into a book like this. Nothing ‘behind the scenes’. I went begging around the world asking fans and different people, “please may I have your pictures if I credit you in the book?” A big part of the introduction of the book ended up being the story of how the assets had been dispersed or thrown away. The film cost three times what Star Wars cost. It cost somewhere in the region of $35 million. The idea that nobody kept any of the assets from it, the original artworks for the paintings, for the posters – gone. The models, gone. The costumes were mostly gone. 

A rare behind the scenes look at the making of Flash Gordon

It kept me up at night. I was genuinely quite worried about whether we’d get enough high quality images that would be good enough, but ultimately I got everything I wanted. I even managed to get a high quality unpublished image of Queen from 1980 for a publicity round they did in Japan. Virtually every page has something unseen, never before published, recently found.

It was around the clock. Sometimes it took 20 or 30 hours just to get one image. It was pretty all labor intensive. The easiest part was speaking to the people like the actors, but another problem existed there as well. If you take the Star Wars universe as a comparison, the various actors and filmmakers speak so regularly that you can pretty much find a consensus on how things happened and where they happened. But on this, [lead actor] Sam Jones – naughty, naughty Sam Jones! –  lovely Sam Jones, and Brian Blessed…

Brian tends to be quite creative, doesn’t he? Every time he tells a story there’s a new spin on it.

Mike [Hodges, director], told me “It’s not true what Brian says in your book that he directed one of the fight sequences.” He said “I love Brian dearly but there’s no way he directed one of the fight sequences. I was there every day and I never would have allowed him to do that. It’s just not what happened.” So between Brian and Sam, they’ve kind of filled in the gaps. As actors often do, they will inflate their parts! 

Some other bits are true. Sam did get stitches, and Dino [De Laurentiis, producer] was ready to kill someone. Two days before principal photography, there’s the lead actor getting stitches in his face. 

When I was researching the film for our piece, I couldn’t really establish how much of Sam’s audio had been replaced in post-production.

Some of Sam’s dialogue is in there! Some has been voiced on top of his voice, and some is a completely different actor in different places. If you were to cut together the different sounds and hear them all together, they sound higher and then lower.

There isn’t actually a record of who the actors are, not because anyone is trying to create conspiracy around it all, it’s just that’s one of the many assets of the film that were tossed aside. It’s more than one [other voice] Mike told me.

That’s new information to me. I knew that there was one other; I didn’t know there was more than one!

It’s more than one, and it’s Sam as well. There are at least three voices that make up Sam’s dialogue. There’s kind of a little Frankenstein’s Monster of dialogue in most places for Sam.

Do you remember the first time you watched Flash Gordon? 

Yes, it was a good movie at the time. I loved anything with science fiction! I’ll tell you what I was disappointed by: there were no robots. To me, if it had a robot in it I was like, “that’s it, I’m there, I want to buy the robot from that film.” So, I was kind of disappointed. There are no robots. 

I was obsessed with the Superman movie and how the flying sequences were created at the time. When this film came out, I thought “this is going to be better than Superman, it’s got hundreds of people flying.” But the flying sequences aren’t as sophisticated in this as they are in Superman, so my first time seeing Flash Gordon was tinged with a kind of geek boy technical disappointment about some of those aspects, and no robots. I haven’t told anyone that.

When researching the book, what ended up being the most surprising revelation?

There were two big moments. The first was when I discovered there had been an entirely different film planned – and we got the artwork, it’s in the book. Then, I found out that the film was supposed to have an entirely different ending. 

Where the film ends now, at the wedding crashing, that was the start of a new major sequence that was going to involve Ming turning into fabulous creatures and fighting Flash, the Hawkmen and the Arboria Tree Men. It all had to be cut. Literally, the pages were pulled. They were like “no time for that, haven’t got time for that.” They had the money for it, but no time.

At the back of my book are all of those scenes, and in some cases photos of scenes they shot that were cut because they couldn’t complete the effects for them, and then comprehensive storyboards with major characters like Lion Man, who was going to accompany Flash Gordon throughout the film like a Chewbacca character.

Wasn’t Lion Man in the cartoons as well as the serial? 

Yes. We got the original artwork from when Dino was going to make the film for Paramount Pictures. It shows Lion Man as part of this fantasy concept poster.

Flash Gordon concept art featuring Lion Man

When I talked to Mike last year, he still seemed somewhat baffled that he was the one who was chosen to take over from Nicolas Roeg as director. Do you think that Nic’s original vision would have worked on screen if Dino had just gone along with it?

No. For tax purposes it was very difficult to get a director in from America to do a picture, particularly in the late 70s. It was a big tax kerfuffle. British directors who’ve done major Hollywood films would have included Alan Parker, maybe John Boorman, Ridley Scott. Nic Roeg and Mike Hodges were the right fit, even though they hadn’t done special effects films.

Roeg’s version couldn’t have worked because the content was adult in tone, and also he came up with some concepts that were outside of the comic strip that would have made it much more adult-themed as well. For an audience to have followed it and enjoyed it and for the film to have had a chance to make back it’s $35 million, I think he was right to pull the plug on the Nic Roeg version. It needed to be a film that had a much broader base to make that money back. There were two sequels planned!

And Mike was originally brought in as an option for the second film.

Yes, that’s right. It was Roeg who suggested him, because he knew Mike and thought Mike would be a good fit. Mike had just been sacked from Omen II so he was suddenly available at the point when Dino parted company with Nic. It wasn’t a marriage of convenience, he was the right fit. 

Dino did this thing where if he liked your face, then you got the part or you got the work. It wasn’t about having a pretty face or anything, it was if he thought your face was sympathetic. It’s kind of an Italian superstition that you can kind of trust a man by his face. Dino wouldn’t get on an airplane if he looked at the pilot and didn’t like their face.

Wow.

Your natural instincts are often right. Dino’s were often right. He said to Mike, “I like-a your face Mike, and that’s why I chose you for this-a film.” Doing a very credible Italian accent there! I interviewed [Dino’s wife] Martha extensively for the book – she said Dino would have liked my face.

We’ve heard so many myths and legends about the Flash Gordon sequels. It seems like everyone you talk to has heard a rumor about what the story would have been. Has your own research revealed any new sequel information? 

Dino had great, great plans. Dino’s plan was to buy Pinewood Studios and to film three Flash Gordons back to back. That’s ambitious by any movie standard, isn’t it? 

Brian Blessed first put me on the trail of what the second film would have been about – it was going to be Flash Gordon’s Trip to Mars – based on the second cinema serial. In that, Flash Gordon meets the Clay Men and other people on Mars where Ming has set up base. 

Flash Gordon storyboards

40 years on, what do you think the enduring appeal of the movie is?

Flash Gordon has survived the critique of not having state of the art special effects. It’s a much more fun film to get into than Empire Strikes Back and Star Trek: The Motion Picture – two comparable big budget films of the era – as they’re kind of heavy going. 

This film was also perceived to be a Christmas film, it premiered at Christmas and received it’s TV premiere in 1983 on the BBC at Christmas. So for most people, it has a special Christmas vibe and a happy vibe about it. It looks like a Christmas ornament. 

It’s separate from other science fiction films of the time, it went in the opposite direction: rock score, kind of camp humor, brighter lit with more colors. There isn’t another film you could compare it with, except Barbarella from the 60s.

Recently, it’s come into criticism for its racial stereotyping – Ming playing effectively as a Chinese Fu Manchu character.

Yes, the BBFC has added a warning to the film now. Has the problematic nature of Ming’s portrayal changed the way you view the film?

For me it hasn’t, because when Max von Sydow played the part he didn’t have a darkening of his skin. That’s his natural facial pallor. The accent he chose is English – he decided to speak it as an English officer or an English monarch. There’s quite a kind of clash of cultures there. The facial makeup and the costume itself is definitely Red China from 1936, as Alex Raymond had envisaged. 

But I think it’s quite right the film should have a warning. I don’t think the film should be stopped, or that he should be pixelated out. I think Dino and Mike Hodges chose the best actors from the time to play these roles. You needed people who had played hard roles in films before. If they remake Flash Gordon, then I’ll be quite happy to see someone of Southeast Asian origin in the role of Ming. I think that would be spectacular.

There are levels to which this works and doesn’t work. The more extreme argument is “you wouldn’t cast a serial killer as a killer would you?” Well no, because if you’re casting for Dennis Nielsen you cast a good actor. David Tennant happens to be Scottish. I’m sorry he’s not a serial killer in real life.

That we know of, John.

That we know of. You can never trust actors, you know? Never leave them on their own in a room. But yes, I think where it’s possible and where it’s practical, it’s respectful.

Have you made any decisions about what you would like to do next, now we’ve had your take on Harryhausen, and Flash Gordon?

I’m literally in the process of delivering a manuscript for my next book. It comes out in September!

I will definitely check it out. Thank you, you’ve been brilliant.

Flash Gordon: The Official Story of the Film is available now from Titan Books. You can check out John’s The Official Story of the Film Podcast right here.

This interview has been edited for clarity.

Subscribe to Den of Geek magazine for FREE right here!

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[echoflowertea]

Hi! I have an idea for a prompt! I know I'm a day late, so no rush whatsoever and feel free to take it or not :) It's for a Sans/Readr/Paps. Your sister and her husband have to be away for the weekend or smth and ask you to take care of their baby/toddler (whatever you think fits best for the story). So they take the child to your house where you live with the bros, but then you have to go out for a bit to take baby things, and they are left alone with the kid. They freak out, funny times ensue

here ya go, it’s my birthday so i figured i would give you the gift of a terribly overdue update!!!!

Pairing: Sans/Reader, Papyrus/Reader

Summary: A weekend with your nephew didn’t sound so bad to the skelebros. Maybe they should’ve read more parenting books.

“So you guys really don’t mind?”

“OF COURSE NOT. WE ARE EXCELLENT COMPANY.YOUR PRECIOUS NEPHEW WILL FINALLY KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE CARED FORPERFECTLY! WE HAVE PREPARED THE ULTIMATE DAY OF ULTIMATE FUN FOR SUCH ANOCCASION.”

You shot him a halfhearted smile. Papyrus’confidence almost always made you feel better, but you were a little nervousabout this. It wasn’t as if you didn’t trust the brothers, but they could be alittle…eccentric. As far as you knew, neither of them were well-versed incaring for a child, let alone a human one. Both were still vastly impressed anddisgusted with your bodily functions, which you could control, so having anunpredictable toddler around the house for the day seemed like…

“heh, don’t stress yourself so much. we gotthis.”

You observed them. Papyrus had on his childsafety gear prepped, which included taping a lot of pillows to his body so noneof his joints would end up hurting anyone. Because the brothers were…literallyskeletons, they had some parts that jutted out and could poke or stab if youweren’t careful enough. Papyrus would dress himself up in attire that spokevolumes about how gently he was going to treat this kid.

“Awesome. Thanks, guys. I know that this iskind of last minute.”

Your nephew was supposed to come by nextweek, but his mom and dad had some major things come up. Some business tripsgot moved around, some flights cancelled, and you were their last hope. Youdidn’t mind so much, but you were going to run it by your boyfriends first. Thiswas a relationship founded on open and honest communication, after all.

“SO WHEN SHOULD WE EXPECT HIM TO ARRIVE?”

You glanced at the clock. “In a few hours.When they get here, I’ll introduce you.”

Sans grinned and shoved his hands in hispockets, the pinpricks of light in his sockets flaring to life. “we’re gonnahave lots of fun.”

“You’d better not corrupt my nephew, Sans.If he learns a pun from you, I’m breaking up with you.”

“heh heh heh.”

In the short time before your nephew wasdropped off, you and Papyrus perused through the house to make sure everythingdangerous was put away. Anything knee-high was blocked off or sealed up.Papyrus was the one who crawled around on his hands and knees to make sure youdidn’t miss anything, while Sans’ idea of helping was to give half-assed wordsof encouragement from the living room couch.

The doorbell rang and you did your best tobrush the dust bunnies out of your hair before you answered. Sans beat you toit, having shuffled over clad in his signature slippers and that harmless smileon his face.

Your sister looked down at him and inhaledsharply, a little baffled at his presence. She had only ever seen him get upfrom the couch to his seat at the dining table when they stopped by for dinner,so it must’ve been a shock to see him up and about.

“Hi, Sans.”

“heya. c'mon in.”

Your sister paused and glanced over hershoulder. From this angle, you could see a pair of small, chubby hands wrappedaround her leg.

“Sweetie, it’s okay.” She bent down toscoop him up and he clung to her upper half, squeezing tight and burying hisface in the crook of her neck. “Sorry, guys. He just woke up from a nap so he’skind of grumpy.”

“He’s also never seen the new house before.Or met the skelebros,” you ventured. “Sans, Papyrus, this is Moo.”

“MOO?”

The toddler glanced up with shining eyes atthe sound of his name. On top of his head was a spotted, black-and-white capcomplete with floppy ears and tiny horns.

“He likes cows.”

“oh my god.” Sans succeeded in holding inhis laughter.

His mom and dad came in for just a fewminutes. They’d done their best to tell Moo that he would be staying with you,and considering you were his favorite aunt, he was totally cool with that. Butthe two strangers were still a little bit of an unknown for him, so he stuck tohis mom’s side the entire time.

“He should be okay until dinner. I’ve got abunch of spare clothes for him just in case he has an accident, but he shouldtell you when he needs to go.”

“You’re potty-trained, Moo? You’re such abig boy!”

He nodded and took a step away from hismom. The both of you continued to chat while Moo decided to explore the rest ofthe house on his own. His bare feet resting along the hardwood floors, hesquatted down to inspect a pair of shiny sneakers that belonged to none otherthan Papyrus himself.

“HELLO! I SEE YOU’VE SPOTTED MY SHOES!WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY THEM ON?”

Moo plopped down in response. Papyrus washappy to join him on the floor. Instead of tearing his shoes off, he insteadpulled apart the laces and loosened them up enough for the canvas material tostretch out.

Papyrus tore them off one by one andgrinned. “THERE WE GO, AND HERE YOU ARE. GIVE THEM A TRY.”

Moo looked down at his feet and raised aleg up.

“think he wants you to put ‘em on, bro.”

“OH!!! OF COURSE. HOW SILLY OF ME. HERE YOUARE, KING MOO. THE MOST DELICATE OF SLIPPERS TO ADORN YOUR FEET.”

You had to admit, it was adorable as hell.He and Papyrus seemed to be okay with each other. And although Sans didn’t wantto admit it, he was keeping an eyesocket on both of them to make sure thatnothing happened. If anything, it was more of a precaution for what-ifs ratherthan just him being overprotective. Because, like you said, kids were wildsometimes and could snap at any moment.

Proud of his new shoes, Moo did his best topush himself up and balance despite his feet being wayyy too small inside.Papyrus kept a gentle hand on his back while he flopped on over to his parentsto show them what he’d done.

“Oh, Moo! They look great on you!”

He beamed, proud of his work. “Mama! Apitcher!”

She fished out her phone and snapped one ofhim. He stretched out to grab it before she could even bend down to show him,marveling at the screen and swiping left and right. How kids adapted so quicklyto technology these days was beyond you.

It only took a few more minutes before hisparents left. You kissed your sister on the cheek and saw her off, promisingthat Moo would have a great time with you and the bros.

Well. Unfortunately, it looked like the onething your sister forgot to pack were snacks.

You thought you would be prepared for thiskinda thing. But after rushing to the kitchen once Moo started going on aboutwanting his favorite juice – pear, as it was – you realized that none of whatyou bought earlier in the week was going to suffice. In fact…as you rummagedthrough the empty boxes of cereal stuffed in the cabinets, you realized thatyou were completely cleaned out. What the hell!

“Sans, where are the fruit snacks in theshape of animals?”

“the frooty tooties? ate ‘em.”

“MORE LIKE HE CHEWED THEM UP UNTIL THEYWERE SQUISHY AND THEN USED THEM AS POSTER PUTTY TO HANG HIS NEW BLUEPRINTS UP!”

“Please tell me that’s a lie.”

“that’s a lie.”

“WAIT. HIS STATEMENT IS A LIE. BUT IF HE’SLYING ABOUT LYING, THEN DOES THAT MAKE IT A TRUTH?”

“Papyrus, no.”

“yes.”

“WHO DO I BELIEVE???”

You knew that you had to go out and getsome more age-appropriate snacks. Papyrus’ bone-shaped crackers were not goingto be a good combo for a kid who would’ve shoved as many as he could’ve downhis throat. That and the recipe was specifically made for making sure that theskeletons were calcified all to hell, which might’ve been a little weird tofeed a human child. Who knew what kind of repercussions would come out of that.

“Moo, follow me for a sec, okay?” You tookhim by the hoof – err, hand – and led him to the living room. He was alreadybouncing and looked restless. You had no clue when his last meal or snack was,but you weren’t ready to deal with the aftermath just yet.

It was kind of a crappy thing to do, butyou needed some time to talk to the boys in private. So you flicked on the TVand let him busy himself with the mindless chatter of some educationalcartoons.

“Okay, guys. We need a game plan.”

“EXCELLENT. I’LL GRAB MY JOURNAL. ONEMOMENT!” Papyrus rushed out of the room.

Every week Papyrus would pick his best mealfrom an array of dishes he cooked over the week, take about a day to create aphotorealistic painting of it, and then put it on the wall to cover a wall safefull of his most precious treasures. The safe was your idea, so that the dogsnooping around wouldn’t get into his figurines any more. Sans was the one whosuggested switching out the cover so people wouldn’t get suspicious. Why thatseemed logical, you would never know.

After snatching the book, Papyrus returnedto the kitchen for your huddle. He was focused, pen in his gloved hand,eyesockets narrowed, ready to strike the page with copious notes andillustrations.

“whaddid you wanna talk about, babe?”

“Moo needs snacks, since you so graciouslydecided to relieve him of those.”

“yer welcome.”

You sniffed. “Anyways, I need you guys torun to the store and pick him up some stuff. I’ll keep an eye on him here whileyou’re gone.”

“OF COURSE. BRILLIANT. I WOULD EXPECTNOTHING LESS FROM MY OTHER HALF.” Papyrus dotted his i’s and crossed his t’s,his careful penmanship a marvel even from all the way where you stood. “I, FORONE, AM GLAD TO EXPLORE THE BELLY OF THE BEAST OTHERWISE KNOWN AS SOOPERSAVERS!THEY EVEN HAVE THEIR OWN SPICE AISLE. HOW EXCITING.”

“sure, we’ll get in and out in under twentyminutes.” Sans winked.

That mischievous look on his face wasenough to put a wrench in your plans. “Okay, wait a second. I think I decidedtoo fast. Papyrus, we can’t trust Sans to go with anyone to the store. Rememberlast time? He locked you in the freezer for an hour.”

Papyrus gasped. “OH, NO. I HAD ALMOSTFORGOTTEN THOSE TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE MEMORIES!!! THE LOOK OF ABSOLUTE CONTEMPT ONTHE CARTOON COWS’ FACES AS I RESTED AMONG THE DAIRY. THEY SILENTLY JUDGED MYBONE DENSITY AND TEMPTED ME WITH WHISPERS OF CALCIUM INFUSED DRINKS!!!”

Sans kept his downright devilish grin,causing a sweat to bead on his brother’s forehead.

“DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, SANS.”

“well, you n’ me could go.” Sans swunghimself up on the kitchen counter. You weren’t sure how he managed to do thatgiven he was short as hell, but it was best not to question him and his casualabuse of physics. “my bro could stay here with the kid, and you’d make sure iwas on my best behavior.”

“HMM, TRUE. THOUGH THAT WOULD LEAVE ME ATQUITE THE DISADVANTAGE, AS MOST OF MY ACTIVITIES REQUIRE THREE PEOPLE! WE ARETRYING TO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION ON MOO, SANS.”

“That and we would never get anythingdone.” You left it at that. You weren’t going to sit there and give him thesatisfaction of mentioning what happened on June 15th. You still hada scar in the shape of a bite mark that refused to go away, no thanks to him.

“WELL, WE COULD LEAVE SANS HERE ALONE ANDDO THE SHOPPING BY OURSELVES.”

You and Papyrus exchanged looks, then burstout laughing. Yeah, right. The entire house would be in shambles by the timeyou got back.

“hey, i resent that…you’re completelyright.”

You snorted. “Okay, so that’s one moreoption down. I guess this leaves one solution. Papyrus, Sans….are you two okayto stay here and watch Moo by yourselves for about an hour?”

Papyrus was quick to agree. Sans shruggedit off.

“WITH MY FAMILIARITY OF THE HOUSE, I WILL HAVENO TROUBLE DEFENDING MYSELF FROM SANS’ PRANKS. AND WE WILL SURELY BE ABLE TOCOMPLETE AT LEAST THREE PUZZLES WITH ALL OF US PARTICIPATING.”

“you gonna be ok buying groceries byyourself, babe?”

“I should be good. I’m more concerned aboutyou guys. But if you’re sure you can handle it, then I would really, reallyappreciate it.”

They both perked up. Any mention of yourapproval sent a pleasant shiver through their bones. Mostly because they lovedyou so much that making you happy was probably one of the only goals theyshared in life. (That and making sure they never missed an episode of the showall of you adored: Tales of the Aboveground, where monsters from all overshared their experiences of living on the surface.)

“THEN IT’S SETTLED. GOODBYE! WE WILL SEEYOU IN A BIT!”

“Hey, wait—”

You barely had a chance to get another wordout before you were shoved outside the front door, your bag magicallypositioned on your shoulder and keys around your fingers. You wanted to givethem some last minute advice, but the absolute Determination on their facesspoke volumes about their commitment to this. They would get through themorning without you and they weren’t going to take no for an answer.

Papyrus made sure to lock the door with aquick flick of his wrist, turning the small button on the knob despite yourprotests from outside. He sniffled.

“NYOO HOO HOO. I HATE TO LEAVE HER ON OURDOORSTEP. BUT WE HAVE TO BE STRONG.”

“it’s ok.”

“YOU’RE RIGHT. MOO NEEDS US.” Papyrus stoodto his full height and narrowed his eyes. “NOW…WHERE IS HE?”

Both paled.

“SANS ARE YOU TELLING ME WE ARE THIRTY-FIVESECONDS INTO OUR DEBUT AS BABYSITTERS AND WE HAVE LOST THE CHILD???”

“relax, bro. he’s gotta be somewhere in thehouse.”

Both went silent for any clues. Aside fromthe gentle trickling of water upstairs, it was relatively peaceful.

Wait…

Trickling water?!

“THE BATHROOM! SANS!!!”

“what about it?”

“HE’S IN THERE! STOP TRYING TO DISTRACT ME!LET’S GO!!!”

Papyrus put his gloved hand on the railingand propelled himself upward the long flight of stairs, Sans trailing behind.

The closer they got to the top, the louderthe noises became. Splashing and giggles. There were a million things thatcould’ve gone wrong when they opened the door, ninety-nine percent of which youwould probably dump them for. And they weren’t going to let that happen.  

“MOO? ARE YOU IN THERE? I WOULD LIKE TOCOME IN AND JOIN YOU!”

Papyrus jiggled the doorknob.

Locked.

“aw, shit.”

“SANS! WHAT DO WE DO?! WE HAVE NO ACCESS TOHIM! HE COULD BE DOING TERRIBLE THINGS IN THERE!”

“relax, bro. we made sure to turn off thewater for the tub. we put on the special seat for the toilet, and all themedications are locked up. there’s nothin’ he could do from his height.”

At that perfect moment, both brotherslooked down to see their feet sinking into a puddle of water creeping out fromunder the door.

Sans started to sweat.

“WELL, LOOKS LIKE THIS IS A JOB FOR MYIMMEASURABLE STRENGTH. STAND BACK, SANS!”

Papyrus readied himself at the door. Thesheer power of his love for you would surely get him through.

“ONE….” He would be a hero!

“TWO…” You would be so impressed with histoddler caring skills!

“THREE!”

He went for a running start and the dooropened.

“GGAAAAAAKKK!”

He dug his heels into the floor and bracedhimself for impact, doing his very best to stop his body from launching intothe room. All he could see was a hundred scenarios that ended up in someonebeing injured, from a minor scrape to complete and utter annihilation. Maybe hewas spending too much time with Undyne after all. His mind was getting to befar more dramatic than he would’ve liked for such a delicate situation.

As he poured his last ounce of strengthinto stopping dead in his tracks, the tip of his shoe caught on the rug Sansinsisted that they place right outside the bathroom. The gross, musty one hepicked up from a garage sale because he thought it was “a bargain”. Yeah, a bigpile of disgustingness and a cheesy line! What kind of pun was, “make some roomfor dessert”???

Papyrus teetered forwards and went crashingdown onto the floor. It didn’t hurt, but it was unpleasant to feel the stifftufts of the rug’s fabric scraping against his bones. Dazed, he lifted his headjust high enough to see the damage.

Moo had somehow tipped the trashcan overand stood up high enough for him to reach over to the sink. He had taken giantwads of toilet paper, coated them in water and soap, and then slapped the mushymass all over the bathroom. On Papyrus self-portrait made of dry pasta. Onthe cute little figurines that you swore brought life to the place. And even onSans’ joke book that had at least fifty unsanitary references!

With his consciousness fading and lastmortified look, Moo took the toilet brush and brought it up to his mouth tosniff it.

Sans knew that his brother would be okay,but it was still hilarious to see him faint like that. He mostly did it when heoverloaded on sensory things, which happened more often when Papyrus didn’thave his gloves on. But today it might’ve just been a combination of all newthings plus the pretty disgusting state the bathroom was in.

Sans couldn’t be prouder of the little guy.Already destroying the grossest room in the entire house. Man, humans werefascinating already with their digestive systems, but all the tools and suchused to help keep things civilized was enough to make him crack up. Seeing alittle kid completely oblivious toward all of that and dismantling the entirepolite system they had going on was amazing.

“kid, i think we’re gonna get along.”

He stuck his hand out, and was promptlygiven a slimy wad of tissue covered in snot.

“oh, man. that’s disgusting. i love it.”

Papyrus stirred from his unscheduled nap.He felt a little groggy, but the anxiety from before he passed out lingeredlong enough for him to snap back to reality. He sat up and rubbed at hiseyesockets.

“SANS? MOO? ARE YOU BOTH HERE?”

The whole bathroom was in disarray. Papyruscouldn’t bear to look! He reached for the door handle and made sure he didn’thave to subject his eyes to any more torture.

Papyrus happened to glance down at hischest while he pulled himself up from the floor. Pinned to his chest, along thepillow armor that had been fitted on him somehow, was a simple note.

countto ten, then see if you can find us

“I AM NOT PLAYING THIS GAME!” he shouted. “OH,WAIT. THERE IS ANOTHER MESSAGE WRITTEN ON THE BACK OF THE PAPER.” He turned itover.

yougotta. if you’re still not convinced, flip me over again

“WHAT!!!” Papyrus did as he was told.

wait,how does this paper have three sides? anyway, if you don’t do it i’ll trashyour room. love, your bro

“I HATE THIS!!!!” And, against his betterjudgment… “ONE, TWO, THREE…”

After ten agonizing seconds, Papyrus madehis way downstairs. He found a trail of flour leading to the backdoor, at leastfive toys strewn across the floor, some plastic utensils wedged between thecouch cushions, and the phone was off the hook with someone shouting on theother line.

“HELLO?” Papyrus scrambled for the phone,managing to wrestle it up to his face despite the long retro cord being tangledup in knots. “YOU HAVE REACHED THE HOME OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HIS EQUALLY GREATLADY, AND ONE LAZY BROTHER, HOW CAN I ASSIST YOU?”

“Paps? It’s me. Is everything okay?”

His breath caught in his throat. Somehow. “AH!!!YES, EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT!” He started to sweat. “HOW IS THE STORE? HAVEYOU FOUND PRODUCTS AT REASONABLE AND UNBEATABLE PRICES?”

“I think so. I’m in line right now, butthere’s only one cashier and he looked like a new hire. He’s paging the emptystore for someone to do a price check on Mettamuffins. Oh my god. Now he’spanicking.”

“THIS STORY IS INCREDIBLY INTERESTING ANDDOWNRIGHT SCANDALOUS, BUT I HAVE SOME…THINGS…TO ATTEND TO.”

“Hmm. Are you sure you’re doing okay?”

He nearly cracked, but didn’t. “OF COURSEWE AM! I MEAN, OF COURSE I ARE! I WILL JUST HAVE TO MAKE SURE I CLEAN UP SOMEOF OUR…ACTIVITIES! GOOD LUCK ON CHECKING OUT YOUR ITEMS! SMOOCH!!!”

He hung up and heard a quiet snicker in theroom.

“SANS, I KNOW YOU’RE IN HERE. THIS CHILD’SPRESENCE HAS MADE YOU EVEN MORE…CHILDISH!!! PLEASE COME OUT OF HIDING, SHE ISCOMING BACK SOON AS WE NEED TO FIX THIS PLACE UP!”

No answer.

Papyrus crossed his arms and thought deeplyon where his brother would be hiding. His favorite spot to snooze in as of latewas the closet near the front door. But it didn’t look like that side of thehouse had been touched just yet. Sans also liked to roll under the couch andsleep under the comfortable weight of the cushions, but when he did that, healmost always managed to kick one slipper off. No sign of that.

As he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, a smalldroplet of liquid splashed against the top of his skull.

“…SANS!!!”

“heh heh. ya got me.”

Papyrus looked up and put his hands on hiships. Sans had somehow crawled up to the corner of the ceiling and was wedgedup there.

“WHERE IS MOO?”

“around here. told him to hide.”

“WE NEED TO BE WATCHING HIM!”

Sans slipped down the length of the wallwithout batting an eye. “ok, ok. i told him to hide in my room. let’s check itout.”

The trek toward the brothers’ bedrooms waslong and arduous, filled with slick spots of melting sticks of butter and granola.A gross combination, and Papyrus wasn’t even sure how he managed to get accessto more food. So much for locking everything up. But despite the harsh terrain,both brothers persisted until they reached Sans’ safe haven.

“hey, bro. what’re you doing? knock first.”

“THERE IS NO TIME FOR FORMALITIES. MOO, IAM COMING IN!”

The stench was unbearable. Dirty clotheslying haphazardly on the floor. A lampshade on the floor. Cloudy test tubesstacked on top of each other. Crumpled bedsheets, pillows stained with coffeeand tea, a plate caked with mysterious gray mold. The entire place looked likeit had seen the wrath of a certain three-year-old.

“everythin’ looks normal to me.”

“OH MY GOD. THE SMELL IS EVEN WORSE THAN ITWAS THIS MORNING!”

“oh yeah. i forgot to put this back in thefridge.” Sans picked up a cup of milk that already started to bubble in the smoldering,stuffy summer heat. “was gonna see if i could ferment this, but figured it’d bebetter to start another day.”

“DO YOU SEE HIM?”

“nope. call him.”

“MOOOOOOO!”

Sans’ eyesockets crinkled. “bro, are youpart cow?”

“NO.”

“because that impression was moo-ving.”

“STOP THIS.”

Then they heard it. A gasp. It was faint,but it was there.

“IS THAT…THE ATTIC???”

How did one child manage to maneuver aroundso easily? Humans were so tenacious! Neither of them could imagine raising oneof their own if they were all like this!

“MOOOOOO!”

“moooo.”

It was dark. How did he even navigate? Whenyou moved in with the brothers, there was so much extra stuff that it was allshoved up here. You and Sans promised to sort through it, but every time youwere both up here at the same time, you ended up just making a giant mess andleaving it worse off than when you came.

Papyrus nearly tripped over a giant chestfull of early courting gifts from him. You said they needed to be kept in asafe place, and that they were priceless, so they had to be stored away. Hebelieved you wholeheartedly, because you had wrapped them up in the softestblankets to shield them from dust and time. That and he caught you sneaking uphere sometimes just to admire them.

“bro, did you hear that?”

“HEAR WHAT?”

Sans froze. His eyesockets went dark.

“we’ve been cornered.”

Jumping out from the shadows, fingerssplayed and mouth opened wide, was Moo.

“Raaaah!”

Both of the brothers were surprised, butdid their best not to laugh. A tiny human in a cow costume roaring at them likea dinosaur was…probably the best thing they’d seen in weeks. It didn’t helpthat Moo charged toward them, bending down on all fours, the tiny tail sewn onhis backside flapping with every bounce toward them.

“PLEASE DON’T HURT US!” Papyrus cried.

But it was too late. Moo had conquered themboth, crawling on top of their toppled bodies and declaring himself as thewinner with a loud, long roar.

“alright, kiddo. let’s get you backdownstairs.” Sans plucked him off his chest and tucked him under an arm. “yougave us a big scare.”

“YOU COULD HAVE HURT YOURSELF…” Papyrusbegan. But after seeing the near teary look in Moo’s eyes, he recanted. “YOUWERE VERY BRAVE TO COME UP HERE BY YOURSELF. BUT NEXT TIME YOU SHOULD PLAY NEARUS, OKAY? WE WANT TO SEE MOO THE DINOSAUR UP CLOSE!”

All three of them headed back to the livingroom where Moo’s giant bag still sat untouched.

“I HAVE A COLORING BOOK I THINK YOU WOULDLIKE.”

“Crayons, please!”

“nice job, kid. use yer manners and you’llget far.”

“I SHOULD WASH HIS CLOTHING IN A FEW HOURS.HE LOOKS STICKY. OR IS THAT NORMAL FOR HIS AGE?”

Everything was okay after that. Some minorincidents – like Moo breaking a crayon and then throwing a tantrum despitebeing given the exact same color to use instead. The brothers had to muster up alltheir patience to deal with his screams and flailing limbs, but they managed toget him to stop wailing after a while.

In the end, the house was completelytrashed, but everyone was safe and sound.

You parked the car in the driveway andrummaged through the bag, grabbing a piece of candy to shove in your mouth. Ugh.What was supposed to be a quick trip to the store ended up being the biggestnightmare of your life. Long lines, rude customers, unorganized shelves, aclown blocking your nearest exit until you donated to his law school fund, andeven a broken traffic light that resulted in a twenty-minute detour through afuneral motorcade.

Needless to say, you were relieved to behome.

After gathering everything in your arms,you headed to the door. A smarter person would’ve called the brothers to letthem know that you were here, but you were so exhausted that the thought nevereven crossed your mind.

Knock. Knock.

“who’s there?”

“Sans.”

“sans who?”

“Sans, please let me in, my arms are goingnumb!”

“i don’t get it.”

“PERHAPS THE HUMOR LIES IN THE REALISM.”

“oh, ok.”

You heard him unlatch the door and youpractically burst in. “Someone please help me get these to the kitchen!”

Papyrus did more than that. He simplyscooped you up, bags and all, so that you were no longer crumbling under theircrushing weight. You were relieved to receive help, but gosh, it did bring a littlecolor to your cheeks when he easily carted you around like that.

He set you down in the middle of thekitchen. Without hesitation, you made your way into the fridge and startedshoving all sorts of snacks inside.

“So? How did it go, guys?”

Sans grinned. “eh, so boring.”

“What, really?”

“IT WAS…NEW.”

You peered over the fridge door. “I don’tknow if I like the sound of that. Where’s Moo?”

“NAPPING ON THE COUCH.”

“Wait, you guys actually got him to sleep?”

“he was kinda giving us a run for ourmoney, so it’s nice he decided to help us out with that.”

“Oh, no. Was he a handful?”

“heh. you decide.”

You blinked and stepped away from yourlittle comfort zone, only to fully drink in how destroyed the house was.

Yeah, it looked like a toddler had beenthrough here, all right. Everyone’s possessions poked and prodded. Annoying Dogeven had a balloon strapped to its tail, trying its best to run away from it asit hovered menacingly over its back. The walls had some minor scribbles hereand there, the carpet had splotches of (what you hoped was washable) paint,there were scraps of paper and a pair of kid scissors scattered along thefloor, and even Moo’s stuffed cow was completely soaked.

“Do I want to know?”

“not really.”

“WE HAD FUN, THOUGH.”

You sighed, relieved, and smiled at them.Your chest even felt a little tight. Ew, you were about to get sappy on them.Sugar overload.

“Thanks, guys. I’m really glad.”

“NOW YOU CAN HELP US WATCH OVER MOO FOR THEREST OF THE DAY!”

“yep.” Munch. “might as well include you onthe fun. ‘sides, you haven’t even seen how he pronounced the word ‘fantastic’.”Swallow.

“…why would he even say that in the firstplace?” you ventured. “Wait, never mind. The point is. You two were a hugehelp. I couldn’t have done this without you, and…I’m really looking forward tothe rest of Moo’s visit if I have both of you here with me.”

Papyrus’ eyesockets sparkled. Sans wasembarrassed, but shot you a cheesy grin anyway.

“Alright, when he wakes up, I’ll make him asnack plate. Sans, can you stop eating for a sec and hand me the FrootyTooties?”

“uh…whoops.”

[roselovesanimation]

It’s been 2 weeks since I last updated my blog because...

I’ve been in China with Uni!!! Baoding and Beijing (20/5/17 - 30/5/17).

I went with 3 tutors and 9 students so we were a big group of 13 from Animation, Advertising and Interior design courses.

We travelled there on Saturday and got there on the Sunday as it takes 9/10 hours to fly to China, it was a nice plane journey as we all got to sit near/next to each other.

Sunday: We arrived at Beijing Airport and once we got through the security etc we got a coach to the train station, we got there very early so we had 3 hours til our bullet train to Baoding. Straight away we all noticed a lot of people staring at us, which is what happened last time I was in China so it wasn’t too weird for me, but it is still strange to get so much attention. We wandered around the train station for a bit and then went to get our train, which is a bullet train which can get up to speeds of 300mph, yet it doesn’t feel too fast! The views from the window were amazing, it was so interesting to see the landscape pass by and the contrast between a city and rural locations. Once we got to Baoding, we got another coach to take us to the hotel. The hotel was called Power Valley International, and it was such a fancy hotel! After unpacking a bit we all decided to go to a gardens, we ended up at the wrong one but it was still nice. Before this trip I decided to try to learn Chinese and made a note of everything I have learnt so I could keep learning on the go and this came in handy a few times as I noticed how our taxi driver kept calling us “waiguo” which is “foreigner” and asked if we were “yingguo” which is “english” so I let everyone else know this. I also practiced saying hello and thank you and other phrases which people liked. The park was lovely, we got stared at more and the weather was nice. I took many photos as who knows it could come in useful as research in the future and I like taking photos in general. We decided to walk back to the hotel which was a trek but I got a really cheap Rose flavoured ice cream which was so nice~ We actually walked to a bar which was a while past the hotel and went there for dinner. The entire menu was in Chinese, so I would like to personally thank Google Translate for helping us all out with the download of Chinese on the app, which meant you could use your phone camera to hover over Chinese text and it would translate it as well as possible so then I knew what things were!

Monday: First Day at the Uni. We all introduced ourselves in Chinese so that was fun! “dàjiā hǎo, wǒ de míngzì shì Rosie, wǒ xuéxí dònghuà, wǒ hěn gāoxìng lái, xièxiè” - which means “Hello everyone, my name is Rosie, I study Animation, I’m glad to come, Thank you”. After this we saw presentations of people’s work so far for the project and then got into our groups. It was nice to chat with my group as one of the members, John, has been learning English since he was 6 so could translate for the others who weren’t so good at English. I also tried to practice the Chinese I have learnt which I think they all appreciated. I got told I was very beautiful which was very sweet :3. In the evening the UCLAN group went out to a bar. I got so much nice fruit tea, it was such a fun time as there was a tiny kitten who lived there that we all got to cuddle as it was so quiet and happy to be passed around as it just slept. 

Tuesday: We worked more on the project in terms of ideas and finalising what our end goal would be. At lunch we went out to a restaurant which had strange but nice food, so I gave everything a go because you might as well try new things! I also got to know the rest of the group more which was nice :) I have all of them on WeChat so that we can talk whenever tbh.

Wednesday: Worked more on the project in terms of creating posters and an animation at the uni. I got complimented more which was very sweet, it’s always nice to feel appreciated haha. We went to the market again and had more strange food but it was a nice time to hang out with the people in our group. Most things in China are cheap so I bought a lot of cute stationary from the market.

Thursday: I did more work for the project and in the afternoon I did a presentation about the MA in Animation at UCLAN to a big group of students, this was kinda scary as I know I talk quick so it may be hard for people to understand so I spoke as slow as I could and said a few chinese words and hopefully it went well! I gave out a bunch of brochures for the course too. We finished the project work which was 4 posters and a short animation as well as a powerpoint. Pete was very helpful when it came to making sure the posters looked good. We all went to the market again in the evening as it was our last full day in Baoding, so I got souvenirs and clothes~ I also had a chat with a lady at the market who spoke really good english and told me I speak good chinese! In the evening a bunch of us went for a tea ceremony in the hotel which was really nice and then went to play pool/snooker (idk which one?) so that was a fun evening.

Friday: Last day in Baoding! We presented our work last and it went okay? I spoke in English and John spoke in Chinese and we all got certificates for it which was nice as well as a souvenir Uni bag. We then travelled back to Beijing for the ~holiday~ part of our trip. It was cool to go on the bullet train again and the train station had interesting things in the shop. In the evening we went to an American bar so I had non chinese food for the first time in a while! We then went for a walk round the area which was nice.

Saturday: We all went to the 798 Art District part of Beijing. This was such a fun day as there was so much art to see and it was a really pretty area! I had a green tea ice cream which was so nice! The main stand out point from this day was the Tam Lab exhibition which Pete wanted to see in London but didn’t get a chance to but we only had to wait a few hours and it only cost £10. It was beautiful, lots of light projections of flowers and colours and chances of interactivity and there was a room of lights and it was just such a cool place that I really enjoyed! In the taxi back, there was a screen in which you could do quizzes and play games which was cool! Google Translate translates things so hilariously sometimes! In the evening we went to a mall where in which I found the shop I’d been wanting to find, MINISO! It is a cute japanese dollar shop in a way and I bought such a haul of merchandise from the Cartoon Network animated show, We Bare Bears, and everyone was so happy for me so that was so sweet :)

Sunday: We went to a big market as a full group and that was a fun time! It was a long street that seemed to go on forever and I tried a bubble pancake which was lovely! This was a nice day of just walking around tbh. 

Monday: We went to the Great Wall of China!! We had to get up early so we could travel there which took 2 hours. It was such a trek but enjoyable! It was such a surreal experience to actually be at the wall, it was a lot more hilly that I thought so it was a hike! It was a really lovely day too! The cable car up to the wall was fun too! After this we all went to the Summer Palace which is basically pretty gardens with a lake! As we got there quite late we couldn’t see the palaces up close but they were beautiful from the outside! A few of us went on a boat ride around the lake which was really fun too.

Tuesday: This was our last day so I met up with my buddy Celia who studied the BA in Animation at UCLAN with me and is now living back at home in a city near to Beijing (2 hours out). We went to the Forbidden City which is massive! It was a beautiful place and we also saw exhibitions of clocks and jewellery during this visit too. After that we got a bus to Wangfujing which is one of the most famous shopping streets in Beijing and it was a really nice area! We went to MINISO and got even more stuff whoops. We then went for Roast Duck which was amazing, it was displayed in the shape of a peony and the desserts we had were lovely too! We then went to the Market I went to the other day which was fun the second time round too! Me and Celia bonded over EXO. And then we went back to the hotel and chilled for a bit as the rest of us were flying back that evening, so I’m glad I got to spend a full day with the lovely Celia and the flight home was fine and we got back early Wednesday morning and the jet lag was so real.

This is quite an informal post about my adventures in China, I’m so happy I got the opportunity to visit there again and it was informative and enjoyable and I hope I get more opportunities to visit more cool places in the future as I’ve had quite a travel centric past few months!

[shirtlesssammy]

First Blood : Recap

250 episodes. I can't believe we've already reached the quarter episode mark of Supernatural! Who am I kidding, they've got more than 1000 episodes in them, right?

Then:

The British Men of Letters are a menace and the family that hunts together, stays together, er, except for the whole mom leaving, the angel hunting Lucifer alone, and sons getting imprisoned in solitary confinement thing.

Now:

Mary sits quietly at a diner, sipping her coffee, when she gets a call from Castiel. He wonders where she is: Lawrence. Sensing Cas's distress, she asks what's wrong. "I, ah, need you to meet me at the bunker." *Click* Still working on that Chatty Cathy thing, I see. He wanders off screen, presumably to the bunker.

"Six hours ago, Sam and Dean Winchester tried to kill the president of the United States." An unknown government operative (UGO #1) briefs another unknown government operative (UGO #2) about the new guests in their secret, underground bunker. UGO #2 wants the full dossier on the boys. UGO #1: "Assault, murder, multiple accounts of desecrating a corpse." "The same corpse?" As UGO #2 learns the full details of the attempt on the POTUS's life, Sam and Dean are transported to their new shinier bunker, and locked away.

UGO #1 suggests they take care of the Winchesters the easy way, but UGO #2 likes to play with his prey before breaking them. They could connect to something much bigger. I like the calm 1950's Interrogator vibe UGO #2's got going on.

UGO #2 proceeds to talk with Sam and Dean, separately. He questions them about their motive for the attempted assassination. "You're going to talk to me, son." He then lets them know that torture doesn't work. You know what does work? Nothing. 

He's just going to let them sit, and think, and stare at the blank walls of their cells. They'll talk eventually. And no one is coming for them so they've got all the time in the world.

Sidenote: UGO #2 doesn't know about this motherfucker~

Meanwhile, Metatron Mick (and his cartoon beard) sits at a magical typewriter to relay the latest to the Home Office.

He's been trying to make inroads with American hunters, but he's not having much luck "Let me paint you a picture, of a world without monsters or demons, or any of those little buggers that go bump in the night; of a world where no one has to die because of the supernatural." Uh, dude, we like to watch our Winchesters so we'll just keep things as is. Thxkby. Ok, that's not what the hunter dude Mick is talking to is thinking, but he seems super impressed to me.

Actually, what he really says is gold all on its own: "You can take your offer, and you can shove it up your ass. I'm sure it won't be too painful, what with those soft hands of yours."

Back at the bunker, Mary is completely UNIRONICALLY angry at Cas -CAS!- for leaving Sam and Dean. <INSERT A THOUSAND GIFS OF CAS SAYING "I’ll go with you"> It breaks my little Cas-loving heart to watch this scene. Mary's emotional and projecting her own guilt on Cas. (Hmm, who else in that little family projects his issues onto others?) Cas is so demoralized he just takes it because he feels like he did fail the brothers.

Dean finds a loose screw in his cell, and starts the daily scratch on his wall. Man, with walls that soft, all he needs to do is ask for a poster of Raquel Welch and he'd be outta that place in no time! It's feeding time anyway. Dean's a-ok with the grub, but sadly, Sam did not get the kale smoothie he requested at the commissary.

Cas reaches out to Crowley for help, but Fergus is too busy drinking his mai-ti to expend any more energy on Sam and Dean Winchester. "Do you even care that they're gone?" Cas implores. "No." Crowley has full faith that they'll make it out ok; they always do. 

Mary consults John's journal (like, that seems to be the one thing that won't help the Winchesters in this new "humans are the real bad guys" world). Anyway, she hears a phone ring in Dean's room. It's Alicia, Asa Fox's daughter. They need help with a pack of werewolves. She's on the case! Very Dean of her ---if she can't solve the most pressing issue, might as well keep hunting for the sake of distraction.

Dean now has quite a few hash-marks on his wall. And while watching the episode live, Boris literally called it on Sam exercising about two seconds before we saw him start his calisthenic routine. So like Sam. Things are looking pretty grim though for our boys.

With time passing, and no hope of finding Sam and Dean, Mary and Cas meet up at a bar. Mary is sorry for her previous actions, but Cas still takes full blame. Poor bby. They have no leads. And Sam and Dean have been gone "Six weeks, two days, and ten hours." Oh, Cas. Cas then tells Mary about his inability to even solve a case. I know people are confused about how this is "Cas with his mojo back" but I think this speaks to Cas's mental state --and how human he feels. He has zero confidence in himself right now. He's no angel. He doesn't feel at home anywhere. He thinks he's still a hunter-in-training, and he's failing without his support system. And just like the man he fell from heaven for, he's going to take full blame for everything if he can't fix them. Mary suggests they take care of the case together, but Cas declines. "No, I'll only get in your way."

Chow Time. Only NOT! Sam and Dean are both DEAD!!! I love how they supposedly did CPR on Sam but he hadn't been moved. Lol.

In the morgue, the Dead!chesters are laid out. UGO #1 and #2 are arguing it out about what a waste keeping them locked up was, before turning off the lights and leaving.

Cas is alone in the dark bunker. 

Back at the morgue...*SURPRISE* Dean gasps awake! He's ALIVE! Praise Chuck! They're both alive! I was worried there for a mo. Just then the morgue doctor walks in and they ambush him for answers. Where are they? He doesn’t know. They steal his phone, and take off. Making it outside before any CCTV catches them, Dean calls Cas. “This is my voicemail. Make your voice…a mail” No answer!

Dean tries again, and again. Finally:

Cas: What?

Dean: Cas

Cas: Dean!?

Dean: Hey, buddy. Long time.

Us: SQUEEEEEEE

Dean quickly cuts to the chase and tells Cas they’re in Rocky Mountain National Park. Meet them as soon as possible, they’re kind of on the clock. *Click* Sam asks Dean if “he told him.” “Nope.” Hmmm. (Natasha: On a rewatch this hit me hard. They’re on the clock because they’re trying to escape, but also so that one of them can say goodbye forever to Cas before they die. God DAMN it, Winchesters.)

Mary walks away from a den of beheaded vampires when her phone rings. It's Cas! He tells her that he heard from Sam and Dean and she rockets her way to meet him in Colorado.

UGO #1 and 2 walk into the examining room to check out the Winchesters' remains only to find both bodies gone and a tapping sound coming from the body drawers on the wall. It's our bumbling doctor!

“Whoopsie daisy,” he might as well have said. The troops move out to the Benny Hill theme song. “These guys are killers. You got eyes, you pull the trigger,” UGO #1 orders curtly so that we all know the stakes.

Cas meets up with Mary and suggests backup – perhaps Crowley and Rowena? Mary scoffs at turning to the King of Hell and a witch so Cas thinks of someone else...t.b.a. (You know in the old days it woulda been Charlie. *mourns quietly to myself* *Boris joins in*)

Agents Surly and Affable hunt the Winchesters and rib each other. You’re out of shape! You’re mentally unstable! Bromance!

Cut to Dean and Sam – still hunted. Sam guesses that they've got about about an hour until dark, 6 hours to midnight. “Dean,” Sam says. “We've gotta talk about this.” Is “this” feelings? An escape plan? Stay tuned, kids. For now, they leave their big ole bootprints in the mud before wading into a stream. (Bobby would be chewing you out, boys.)

Back on the road with Mary and Cas, our guilt-fueled duo meets with Mick and Mr. Ketch. Mary is understandably NOT OKAY with this plan. “Suddenly the demon and his mommy don't look so bad.” Cas sticks up for his Crowley/Rowena plan and mentions that they helped take care of Lucifer.

Mick is impressed. “THE Lucifer?”

“Did you win?” asks Mr. Ketch. When Cas answers in the affirmative, Ketch lauds their success while he stares at Cas with his horrible, cold shark eyes...

“But, Sam and Dean were taken,” Mary interjects, pulling this recap back on course. They need help. And, huzzah, the BMoL are happy to help.

Mick notes that the American hunters have been a difficult barrier to their main goal in the U.S., which is to “make friends.” Right. Anyway, he goes on to describe hunters as “surly, suspicious, [and they] don't play well with others.”

“Well, that is accurate,” Cas notes.

Mick tells Mary that if word gets out that they helped save THE Sam and Dean Winchester then it'll help their cause with American hunters. Mary reluctantly agrees and tells them that her boys are being held in the Rocky Mountain National Forest – which the BMoL immediately identify as “Site 94”, a shadow-ops facility. They'll run a satellite scan of the area. The pairs depart, ready to find our boys.

Back in the woods UGO #1 and UGO #2, best buddies by now, find the Winchesters’ footprints. They're on the trail! The camera pans back to the Winchesters who are awfully close by. The boys hide behind a tree and tackle one of the soldiers who has trailed off on his own.

Dean picks up the solder's walkie talkie and has a friendly chat with the agents. “What we have here is a failure to communicate,” He says with relish. “’Cause we're not trapped out here with you. You're trapped out here with us.”

Dean and Sam find an old cabin and immediately take stock of what's inside. Sam lights a lantern, which seems like a really terrible idea. Dean grabs a bear trap. Yeah! Let's Home Alone this mother. The boys get to work and soon enough, the agents are upon them. They see the lantern illuminating the room, and someone passes in front of the curtain. Those wily Winchesters must be inside.

Once inside, the cabin appears empty. The soldiers stalk in and around the cabin when the Winchesters begin their attack. Soldiers are non-fatally shot and knocked unconscious and then we're down to two: UGO nos. 1 through 2.  UGO #1, the bigger jerk, gets trapped in Dean's Home Alone bear trap while UGO #2 gets cornered by Sam with a gun at his head. The boys walk away. Really, with that swagger they might as well be wearing sunglasses and walking away from an explosion.

“Who are you?” UGO #2 calls after them.

“We're that guys that saved the world,” says Sam Fucking Winchester.

Cas greets Sam and Dean in the woods. Sam gives him a giant moose hug before flying to hug his mom. Dean gives Cas a solid bro hug before joining the Mary Winchester hug pile. Cas looks on, happy to see his family together again.

Sam and Dean aren’t pleased to find the BMoL hanging out by the cars but there’s no time to hash it out - they’ve got to high tail it out of there. The people they left will call for backup. Mr. Ketch immediately gloms onto this, calling their mercy “a bit unprofessional.” They all exchange meaningful LOOKS of suspicion before getting into the car and taking off.

As they drive back home Mary's car cuts out suddenly. “It's time,” Sam says. Cas throws Dean a goddamnit what did you do look and they all get out of the car. Billie waits for them on the road. She reveals that Dean and Sam made a deal. Billie would kill them and then bring them back to life, thereby helping them escape. On one condition: Billie gets to kill one Winchester for good by midnight. Ding, dong, Cinderella.

In response to Mary and Cas’s looks of horror Dean explains that being locked in that solitary cell was worse than Hell. “You don't have to do this,” Cas grinds out. But Billie tells them that they made a blood pact, strong as the cosmos.

“Who's it gonna be?” Billie asks and Dean and Sam exchange sorrowful looks, ready to engage in a sacrifice-off. They're surprised by Mary, though, who offers herself. Billie magically pins down Sam and Dean and Mary, trembling, takes a gun and points it at her own head. DAMN IT, WINCHESTERS.

Mary tells them she loves them. And then Billie dies, stabbed through the heart with an angel blade.

Fuck yeah, Castiel

(Though I am genuinely sorry about Billie.)

I know the entirety of Tumblr has already done this quote but I'm including it for reasons, okay?

Cas heartbreakingly, emotionally tells them, “This world. This sad, doomed little world. It needs you. It needs every last Winchester it can get and I will not let you die. I won’t let any of you die. And I won't let you sacrifice yourselves. You mean too much to me. To everything. Yeah, you made a deal. You made a stupid deal. And I broke it. You're welcome.”

FUCK. YEAH. CASTIEL.

The Winchesters all look at each other. Because. Damn. (Boris: I want a 5 page analysis paralleling Cas killing Billie to Dean killing Death. Please and thank you.)

Cut to Mick typing away merrily on his magic typewriter. We learn that Mr. Ketch has “dealt with” everyone who knew about Sam and Dean's arrest. He's also made inroads with the American hunters. Great! Good job Mick.

Oh wait. He's talking about Mary.

God damn it, Winchesters.

Boris: Man, after this episode, this show needs to rename itself Natural. Barely a supernatural being around. But seriously, I don’t know if it was the hiatus or what, but I loved this episode. It hit all the right notes —enough to hand wave away the questions about Cas’s abilities. That being said, Andrew Dabb loves Cas, and we love him for that. This was such a strong episode for Cas. I think it’s really setting up the rest of the season for a major character development. Yay! We know he’s a Winchester, but it’s going to be so nice to see him realize he’s a Winchester (goddamnit, this better be the endgame.) I also have to give kudos to Mary’s story. Mary continues to have her own story and agency. I'm so trained to having the woman be a plot advancement or helper or foil for the main characters (not necessarily spn, but all tv/movies) that I'm just shocked and mad at her for wanting to find her own way... but I'm cool with her working with the BMoL because this is her path. She’s not just here to bake pie for Dean. They better not fucking kill her. And finally, and most controversially: Destiel doesn’t exist. Lolz.

There are no friendly quotes:

They might be the tip of some nasty-ass iceberg.

Chow time!

Sam and Dean, they're like herpes...just when you think they're gone, hello, the boys are back!

This is my voicemail. Make your voice...a mail.

The last two months we've been sitting around with our junk in our hands because you wanted to wait them out.

Maybe this is some slow your heartbeat kung-fu crap. 

[writingguide003-blog]

'A total blast': our writers pick their favorite summer blockbusters ever

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/a-total-blast-our-writers-pick-their-favorite-summer-blockbusters-ever/

'A total blast': our writers pick their favorite summer blockbusters ever

As the season heats up on the big screen, Guardian writers look back on their picks from the past with killer sharks, mournful crime-fighters and time-traveling teens

Face/Off (1997)

Photograph: Allstar/Cinetext/PARAMOUNT

Madman bomber Nicolas Cage stole John Travoltas dead sons life. So gloomy FBI agent Travolta steals Cages face. When Cage steals his face and his wife and freedom John Woos Face/Off becomes the biggest, wackiest and most operatic summer blockbuster in history, a gonzo combustion that flings everything from pigeons to peaches at the screen.

Hong Kong cineastes might applaud a script with roots in the ancient Sichuan opera genre Bian Lian, where performers swap masks like magic. Popcorn-munchers, of which I am front row center, are here to watch whack job Cage and soulful Travolta, two actors who love to go full-ham, play each other and go deep inside their iconographies. Call it hamception. Or just call it a crazy swing that hits a home run as Cavolta and Trage battling it out in a warehouse, a speedboat and, of course, a church. As Cage-as-Travolta gloats to Travolta-as-Cage, Isnt this religious? The eternal battle between good and evil, saint and sinners but youre still not having any fun! Maybe hes not, but we sure are. Bravo, bravo. AN

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

Photograph: David James/Publicity image from film company

Theres been an increasing sense of desperation clinging to the majority of roles picked by Tom Cruise in recent years. Outside of the still shockingly entertaining Mission: Impossible series, he was miscast in the barely serviceable Jack Reacher and its maddeningly unnecessary sequel, his awards-aiming American Made was throwaway and his franchise-starting The Mummy was a franchise-killer. But four summers ago, he picked the right horse just maybe at the wrong time.

Because despite how deliriously fun Edge of Tomorrow was in the summer of 2014, audiences didnt show the requisite enthusiasm. It was a moderate success (enough to warrant a long-gestating sequel) but it should have packed them in, its combination of charm, invention and sheer thrills making it one of the most objectively successful blockbuster experiences in memory. The nifty plot device (Cruise must relive a day of dying while battling aliens over and over again) allowed for some dark gallows humor and a frenetic pace that kept us all giddily on edge while it also contained a dazzling action star turn from Emily Blunt whose fearless Full Metal Bitch wrestled the film away from Cruise. Blame its relative failure on the bland title? Cruise fatigue? Blockbuster over-saturation? Then find a digital copy to watch and rewatch and repeat. BL

Back to the Future (1985)

Photograph: Allstar/UNIVERSAL/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

Back to the Future very nearly wasnt a summer blockbuster. The reshoots required after Eric Stoltz was booted off, then the fact Michael J Foxs Family Ties commitments meant he could only shoot at night all meant filming didnt wrap until late April. Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg duly pencilled in an August / September release.

But then people started seeing it. Test scores were off the scale. Said producer Frank Marshall: Id never seen a preview like that. The audience went up to the ceiling. So they bagsied the best spot the year had to offer 3 July hired a squad of sound editors to work round the clock and two print editors with instructions to get properly choppy. They did, and those big trims tightened yet further one of the tautest screenplays (by Bob Gale) cinema has ever seen. The only bit of fat they left was the Johnny B Goode scene: sure, it didnt advance the story, but the kids at those test screenings knew we were gonna love it. Back to the Future is a pure shot of summer cinema: grand, ambitious, insanely entertaining. Deadpool, Avengers, take note: a blockbuster can be smart as hell so long as it wears it lightly. In the end, by the way, the film spent 11 weeks at number 1 at the US box office. Thats essentially the whole summer. CS

Teminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Photograph: Allstar/TRISTAR/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

The first film I ever saw at the cinema was The Rocketeer. We drove into Bradford city centre, bought our tickets at the Odeon and sat through the 1991 tale which followed the fortunes of a stunt pilot, a rocket pack and a Nazi agent played by Timothy Dalton who sounded like he was from Bury rather than Berlin. The way into the multiplex there was a huge poster for Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Arnie sat on a Harley with a shotgun cocked and ready. My dad was a huge fan of the original but he still couldnt swing taking a seven-year-old to see it. It wasnt until I borrowed a VHS copy that I finally got to see what was behind that image. Skynet, dipshits, T-1000s, a nuclear holocaust and a motorbike chases on the LA river.

Blockbusters dont usually have that edge: theres a more brazen mainstream appeal. But Judgment Day was and still is an exception. It did huge numbers at the box office (more than $500m), was a rare sequel that was arguably better than the original and introduced really odd bits of Spanish idiom into the Bradford schoolyard lexicon. I probably would have been scarred for life watching it as a seven-year-old, but as a teenager it gave me a story I doubt Ill ever get tired of revisiting. LB

The Dark Knight (2008)

Photograph: Allstar/WARNER BROS.

The summer of 2008 was a busy one: Barack Obama emerged from a contentious democratic primary to become the first ever black presidential nominee of a major party. The dam fortifying the entire global financial system was about to burst. China hosted its first ever Summer Olympics. But somehow, and not exactly to my credit, what I remember most from that summer is the uncanny, ridiculously over-the-top publicity blitzkrieg that preceded the release of The Dark Knight, which has since emerged as not just an all-time great summer blockbuster, but an all-time great American film, period.

There were faux-political billboards that read I believe in Harvey Dent; a weirdly nondescript website of the same name; Joker playing cards dispersed throughout comic book stores, which led fans to another website where the DA was defaced with clown makeup. Dentmobiles, Gotham City voter registration cards, a pop-up local news channel: the marketing campaign might have seemed excessive had the movie not so convincingly topped it. Ten years later, as films like Deadpool and Avengers: Infinity War try to reach those same heights of virality, The Dark Knight remains the measuring stick by which every superhero movie, and superhero villain, is measured. JN

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Photograph: Jasin Boland/AP

In many ways, Fury Road is summer: arid, scorching, bright enough to be squinted at. The driving force behind all the high-impact driving is scarcity of water, the essence of life in a desert where death practically rises up from the burning sand. Even in the air-conditioned comfort of a multiplex auditorium in Washington DCs Chinatown, watching George Millers psychotic motor opera left this critic sweaty and parched. My world is fire and blood, warns the weary Max Rockatansky (Tom Hardy) in the scripts opening lines. Staggering out of a theater into the oppressive rays of the sun, it sure can feel that way.

Millers masterpiece fits into the summer blockbuster canon in a less literal capacity as well, striking its ideal balance of dazzling technical spectacle and massively-scaled emotional catharsis. There was plenty of breathless praise to go around upon this films 2015 release, much of it for the feats of practical-effects daring, but the hysterical extremes of feeling cemented its status as a modern classic. I cant deny that Ive watched the polecat sequence upwards of a dozen times, but Millers film truly comes alive in Furiosas howl of desperation, and in Maxs noble disappearance into the throng. CB

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

Its the music, its the giant boulder, its the Old Testament mysticism, its the whip, its the Cairo Swordsman, its Harrison Fords crooked smile, its the bad dates, its Karen Allen drinking a sherpa under the table, its the melted faces and exploding heads. Its all these things plus having the good fortune of seeing this at the cinema at a very young age, therefore watching most of it through my terrified fingers. (Indy tells Marion to keep her eyes shut during the cosmic spooky ending; way ahead of you there!)

The modern blockbuster as we know it was created by Steven Spielberg with Jaws and George Lucas with Star Wars, so the hype was unmatched when the two collaborated in 1981 with Raiders of the Lost Ark. As a kid I had no idea this was a loving homage to cliffhanger serials from the 30s and 40s, I took it as pure adventure. The seven-and-a-half minute desert truck chase (I dont know, Im making thus up as I go) is probably the best action sequence in all of cinema (John Woos Hard Boiled does not have a horse, sorry), but watching as an adult one notices a lot of sophisticated humor, too. (Indy being too exhausted to make love to Marion, for example, is something that didnt connect when I was six.)

Its strange to think I watched these cartoon Nazis on VHS with my grandparents who had escaped the Holocaust, and no one benefits when you do the math to figure out how young Marion was when, as Indy puts it, you knew what you were doing. But for thrills, laughs and propulsive camerawork (though a little mild Orientalism), nothing tops this one. JH

Independence Day (1996)

Photograph: Everett/REX/Shutterstock

Short of actually calling their film Summer Blockbuster, rarely can a films height-of-summer release date been so central to a films raison detre. This being the mid-90s, when po-mo and self-referentiality was all the rage, brazenly hooking your tentpole film to 4 July was seen as a pretty smart idea.

Fortunately, all the ducks did line up in a row for ID4: a game-changing performance from Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum at (arguably) his funniest, a rousingly Clintoneque president in Bill Pullman and most importantly in that run-up to the millennium physical destruction on a gigantic scale. Much comment at the time was expended on the laser obliteration of the White House (an early shot from the Tea Party/Maga crowd?), but I personally cherish director Roland Emmerichs signature move of detonating cars in somersault formation. Like many other huge-budget films then and since, Independence Day was basically a tooled-up retread of cheap-as-chips format of earlier decades though who these days would roll such expensive dice on what is essentially an original script, with no comic book or toy branding as a forerunner? We shall never see its like again. AP

Aliens (1986)

Photograph: Allstar/20 CENTURY FOX/Sportsphoto Ltd./Allstar

An Aliens summer is one for moviegoers who prefer to sit in in darkened rooms when the sun is shining; the brutal confines of the fiery power plant make an excellent subliminal ad for air conditioning. In 1986, James Cameron took Ridley Scotts elegant, iconic horror template and turned it into an all-out action blockbuster, forcing Ripley once again to face down her nemeses in a breathless fug of claustrophobia, sweat and fear. Its relentlessly stressful and unbelievably thrilling.

I first saw Aliens many years after its initial release. Owing to its sizeable and long-lasting legacy, it was at once immediately familiar, yet also brisk and brutally fresh. I understood that it was a classic, but I wasnt prepared for just how good it is, for the pitch-perfect management of tension, the pace that never really lets up, the emotional pull. The maternal undertow of Ripleys protection of Newt, and the alien mirror of that, adds a level of heart unusual in most blockbusters, and her frustration at being a woman whose authority must be earned again and again, and then proven again and again, remains grimly relevant, 30 years on. Its also a total blast. Now get away from her, you bitch. RN

Jaws (1975)

Photograph: Fotos International/Getty Images

It is the great summer blockbuster ancestor the film that in 1975 more or less invented the concept of the event movie. And unlike all those other summer blockbusters, Steven Spielbergs Jaws is actually about the summer; it is explicitly about the institution of the summer vacation, into which the movie was being sold as part of the seasonal entertainment. It is about the sun, the sand, the beach, the ocean and the entirely justified fear of being eaten alive by an enormous shark with the appetite of a serial killer and the cunning of a U-boat commander. And more than that: it is about that most contemporary of political phenomena: the coverup, the town authorities at a seaside resort putting vacationers at risk by not warning them about the shark. The Jaws mayor has become comic shorthand for the craven and pusillanimous politician.

A blockbuster nowadays means spectacular digital effects, but this film is from an analogue world. It bust the block through brilliant film-making and an inspired score from John Williams, summoning up the shark with a simple two-note theme which became the most famous musical expression of evil since Bernard Herrmanns shrieking violin stabs in Psycho took the place of actual knife-slashing. I still remember the excitement of the summer of 1975, and the queues around the block at the Empire, in Watford, round the corner from the football ground. The inspired brevity of the title meant the word was repeated over and over again to fill the marquee display: JAWS JAWS JAWS as if they were screaming it! PB

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

[legitboom]

Spidey and me

When I was seven years old, my dad came into my room and told me we were going to a Cingular store on the westside of Evansville, Indiana. Just thinking about the word ‘Cingular’ alone is a nostalgia trip. Remember that little orange guy who’d bounce around in the commercials? When cell phones were the fast and exciting future, not the overbearing present? 

I’m getting ahead of myself. The reason we were going to this store was not to buy a cell phone, but to look at a car. I know very little about cars, and they’ve never interested me, but my dad told me this particular car was a Viper. It was very fast, had a big engine or something, I don’t know. Like I said, I could give a shit about the car. What stood out this particular time, however, was that this was a Spider-Man car. 

I don’t remember why that interested me so much. Maybe I had seen some of the episodes of the old Spider-Man cartoon when I was a kid. I think, at some point, I had a Spider-Man video game but I never figured out how to play it. Whatever the case may be, I was very unfamiliar with the wall-crawler when I hopped in our SUV to see this car. All I knew was that it sounded cool.

We got to the store and, sure enough, the car was there - being displayed for promotional purposes: 

That’s what it looked like. 

I didn’t know this at the time, but my capitalism-fueled brain now realizes that Cingular was sponsoring the 2002 Spider-Man movie (trust me, we’ll get to that) and, somehow, that meant that they got to attract customers by traveling this car around the country. Or something. Who knows. 

Their plan must’ve worked though, because my mom went in after a while to look at the cell phones at Cingular. She was traveling a lot back then, so she must have been thinking about getting one. She walked out without a cell phone - but with a large cardboard tube. I asked her what was inside, and she said - a poster.

From what I understand, every Cingular employee at this thing got a free promotional poster. Some woman behind the counter didn’t want hers (I guess it would’ve clashed with her apartment’s feng shui) so she gave it to my mom to give to me, the ‘runt of the litter’ at this event. As I opened the tube to pull out the poster, I figured it would be some corny advertisement for Cingular. Maybe it’d have a little picture of Spider-Man on it.

But, no. No. 

I pulled out this: 

It was an actual, full-sized, theatrical poster. I can’t explain why, but I was hooked. I hung the poster on my wall where it remained for probably five years. I had it up again in a nice store-bought frame when I was in college, though I’ve since retired it to make room-space for a clock. 

Needless to say, for the next two months I asked my parents every single day if it was May 3rd. I had - absolutely had - to see this movie. I think by that point an X-Men movie had come out, but I didn’t give a shit about that. Batman, Wolverine, whatever superheroes were being splashed across the silver screen - they meant nothing to me. They weren’t Spider-Man.

Then, on May 3rd, 2002, I was ready.  

I can’t remember which trailers premiered in front of Sam Raimi’s first Spider-Man movie, but I remember everything else. I could probably write a (very rough) novelization of the movie right now without having seen it in several months. The performances are all so vivid, the colors are so flamboyant. I’ll probably get into trouble for saying this, but the upside down kiss in the rain is, in my opinion, the best scene in a superhero film and, dare I say it, the most iconic film sequence of the 21st century. 

Yeah, it was cool. 

Anyway, I walked out of the theater in a bizarre euphoric state that left me gasping for air. We drove home, I went to my room, stared at that poster, and wondered if there’d ever be more. 

Of course, there was more. Raimi made two more Spider-Man films, neither of which topped the first and one of which was a disaster. Then they remade the first movie and it got a sequel too. By that point, I didn’t really care about the movie Spider-Man. 

See, shortly after the movie premiered I graduated the second grade. I didn’t expect much to happen as a result of that, but something did. My dad came home and brought me this book: 

I didn’t know it at the time, but Tom DeFalco was considered one of the premier writers of the Spider-Man comic series and an expert on all things Amazing Arachnid. I didn’t care about that at the time, though. I had an entire book about Spider-Man and I was going to read the thing cover to cover.

So I did. In fact, I can’t even read the book now because I literally read it to death. I took it everywhere and, fifteen years later, I’m afraid it would not sit well on my lap due to its current condition. 

This book had everything - every tiny little detail about every character was packed into this thing. It made me realize that there was more to Spider-Man than movies or video games or toys (there was an extensive line of Spider-Man toys unrelated to the movie in the late 90′s). There was a Spider-Man world in the comic books that had been around for nearly fifty years. This was the ‘real’ Spidey. He had web shooters, not organic webbing, and his parents were spies for a secret agency called SHIELD. He didn’t wear glasses because he had bad eyesight - he wore them because they made him look smart. 

Needless to say, I had to know more.

Here’s where things get crazy. 

A few weeks later, I asked my mom to take me to the comic book store. There was only one in Evansville at the time. I walked back to where the comics were (despite their name, most comic stores do not specialize in comics, so they’re often limited to a small wall in the back or to the side) and looked extensively for anything that said Spider-Man on it. I saw the first one - didn’t even open it - and took it to the counter.

This was the cover: 

I didn’t know it at the time, but what Marvel Comics had done was take a poll from their readers to determine the top 100 comic books ever released by the company. I thought I was buying issue one of a new Spider-Man series.

Nope, even better. On the inside, it was an exact replica of Amazing Fantasy #15 - the first ever appearance from Spider-Man by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko. 

I mourn that comic because, like my DK Ultimate Guide, I read that thing to death. I should buy another copy on ebay one day. 

Spider-Man comics, especially these older ones, were like a drug to my prepubescent brain. I saved up to buy at least half a dozen huge tomes reprinting the old stories. It never crossed my mind that Spider-Man had grown up, gotten married, and joined the Avengers in his current comic.

Years go by, and I stop reading Spider-Man comics. Partly because I couldn’t afford them, partly because the newer movies sort of disappointed me. Perhaps I was growing up and it was time to find a new hobby. So, for a few years, that’s what I did. 

Fast forward six years later. I’m on some website, it’s summer vacation, and I’ll be heading to high school in a few weeks. I’m scrolling, scrolling, scrolling.

And then something catches my eye. 

Amazing Spider-Man #600, out today. I looked up the cover, just because comics that often reach large numbers like that often celebrate with a special cover, and saw this: 

If you don’t think that looks cool as hell, I don’t know what to tell you.

I called up the local comics store and ordered it that day.

Now, unfortunately, that cover was one of many. I did get a swell variant cover drawn by Marvel’s then-Editor in Chief Joe Quesada, but I still wish I had gotten the beauty you see above. 

The story inside captivated me like I was seven years old again. A Spider-Man/Daredevil team-up! The return of Doctor Octopus! Aunt May gets married...to the father of J. Jonah Jameson! It’s all nonsense to a non-fan, but to someone who had spent so long being captivated by the lore of Spider-Man and his amazing friends, this was all I needed to realize that my love of all things Spider-Man was far from over. It was only beginning. 

Six years later, I have yet to stop buying each issue of Amazing Spider-Man as it comes out. That was issue 600, and issue 800 is coming up fast (and the same writer is still following up on plotlines from 600). There’s nothing quite like the twice-monthly thrill of seeing the Webbed Wonder swing into action on 22 pages of pure adventure. Call it whatever you want, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Today, a new Spider-Man movie is released in theaters. How strange is it that when I was a kid, Spider-Man was a role model? He was a ‘big kid’, a high schooler, and now he’s six years my junior in this new film! It won’t be long before I surpass the age of the Spider-Man of the current comics. 

It just serves as a reminder that as I grow up and Spider-Man grows...down?...I will be watching these movies differently than I did all those years ago. I no longer jump for excitement at the prospects of a new Spider-Man movie because there are already so many great stories I haven’t even began to touch, but if this new movie is good and does inspire a generation like that first movie inspired me?

Well, that would be okay.