#did you know i ALMOST lost this english version

[sneevl13t]

dropping this because i dont want to lose my original work, will edit with every microsoft word page i exceed

02/01 UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE IT IS DUE IN 5TH OF JANUARY BUT I DONT WANT TO COMPELTE IT UH OH!!!

Will the world ever wonder, what comes after death?

Will it be dark, or would I be greeted with the gates of paradise?

Will I be lonely, or will you be there with me?

“Telos!” The voice of a young girl, oh so familiar to the ears of the world, echoed through the meadows. Despite his peace being interrupted, Telos looked back to see Arche running towards him without a care in the world. Within seconds, she crashed onto him, her long, curly blonde hair waving freely in the breeze of the wind. The two kids laughed at the simplicity of the moment, the rays coming from the sunset glistening upon their skin.

After a while, they finally get back on their feet. Arche was huffing due to how fast she ran towards him, a drop of sweat coming down from her forehead to her cheek, eventually dropping down to the ground. “You’re far too energetic for your own good.” Telos spoke with a faux frown on his face, ruffling up Arche’s hair before he went back to admiring the sunset.

Arche, naïve as ever, could only giggle at him. However, his focus on the sunset caught her eye. Why is he so focused on the sunset? The thoughts swirled in her mind as she admired him, almost as much as he admired the sunet.

How does he remain calm in every situation: no matter how big or small?

How does he get blessed for his beauty: his flowy brown hair and iridescent blue eyes?

How does he never see her: was she always his second choice?

The thoughts linger on Arche’s mind for far too long, and her focus was eventually taken away from her best friend. The bellflowers that decorates the meadow lays still, indicating the wind had halted its breeze. “Telos,” She spoke softly, trying to gain his attention. “If we get separated in the future, would you remember me after a century?”

“Are you dumb? I’d be dead by then. Of course I wouldn’t remember you.” Telos replied half-heartedly, even snorting at the supposedly ‘dumb’ question.

Arche felt a flare of disappointment and bitterness in her heart, but she kept her persistence, demanding an answer from Telos. “Come on! Have some creativity for once. You’re always so technical and factual…” There was a clear giveaway of her distress, one of which was the way her eyebrows furrowed and her soft cheeks puffing up.

“Fine,” Telos sighed in annoyance, leaning just a tad bit closer to the younger kid next to him, wrapping an arm around Arche’s shoulder.

“Let’s just say… I would still remember you after a century.” Telos spoke softly, making sure that Arche kept her eyes on him to know that he truly did mean it. “You mean a lot to me, Arche, even if I don’t show it.” He continued, ignoring the distant cries of the meadowlarks which had descended upon their ceremonial meeting place. “And I do realie that this is a serious moment, but I would like to add that the question is still dumb because I know that you know that this will be my answer.”

Upon finishing his words, Telos soon earned a smack in the face from Arche, and the laughter began once more when he saw how bummed she looked. “Hey, it’s the truth! Come on, you know I’m right!” Telos said amidst his laughter, patting Arche’s back as he does so.

Seeing how Arche was still pouting, almost like a petulant toddler, Telos rolled his eyes before dragging her up from the fallen tree log, holding her close so that she remains stable in the sudden change from sitting to standing. “Do you want to go back now? It’s starting to get dark, and I know that you’re a scaredy cat.” Telos teased her, receiving a grumpy grumble in return. He couldn’t help but smile at her act, already walking back to their village.

As the pair made their short way back to home, the darkness of the night slowly engulfing the previous sunset colouring. The squawking of birds, big and small, had begun once more. The magenta bellflowers, which was already beautiful in the sunlight, had somehow glows much more in the moonlight.

[intheholler]

the appalachian murder ballad <3 one of the most interesting elements of americana and american folk, imo!

my wife recently gave me A Look when i had one playing in the car and she was like, "why do all of these old folk songs talk about killing people lmao" and i realized i wanted to Talk About It at length.

nerd shit under the cut, and it's long. y'all been warned

so, as y'all probably know, a lot of appalachian folk music grew its roots in scottish folk (and then was heavily influenced by Black folks once it arrived here, but that's a post for another time).

they existed, as most folk music does, to deliver a narrative--to pass on a story orally, especially in communities where literacy was not widespread. their whole purpose was to get the news out there about current events, and everyone loves a good murder mystery!

as an aside, i saw someone liken the murder ballad to a ye olde true crime podcast and tbh, yeah lol.

the "original" murder ballads started back across the pond as news stories printed on broadsheets and penned in such a way that it was easy to put to melody.

they were meant to be passed on and keep the people informed about the goings-on in town. i imagine that because these songs were left up to their original orators to get them going, this would be why we have sooo many variations of old folk songs.

naturally then, almost always, they were based on real events, either sung from an outside perspective, from the killer's perspective and in some cases, from the victim's. of course, like most things from days of yore, they reek of social dogshit. the particular flavor of dogshit of the OG murder ballad was misogyny.

so, the murder ballad came over when the english and scots-irish settlers did. in fact, a lot of the current murder ballads are still telling stories from centuries ago, and, as is the way of folk, getting rewritten and given new names and melodies and evolving into the modern recordings we hear today.

305 such scottish and english ballads were noted and collected into what is famously known as the Child Ballads collected by a professor named francis james child in the 19th century. they have been reshaped and covered and recorded a million and one times, as is the folk way.

while newer ones continued to largely fit the formula of retelling real events and murder trials (such as one of my favorite ones, little sadie, about a murderer getting chased through the carolinas to have justice handed down), they also evolved into sometimes fictional, (often unfortunately misogynistic) cautionary tales.

perhaps the most famous examples of these are omie wise and pretty polly where the woman's death almost feels justified as if it's her fault (big shocker).

but i digress. in this way, the evolution of the murder ballad came to serve a similar purpose as the spooky legends of appalachia did/do now.

(why do we have those urban legends and oral traditions warning yall out of the woods? to keep babies from gettin lost n dying in them. i know it's a fun tiktok trend rn to tell tale of spooky scary woods like there's really more haints out here than there are anywhere else, but that's a rant for another time too ain't it)

so, the aforementioned little sadie (also known as "bad lee brown" in some cases) was first recorded in the 1920s. i'm also plugging my favorite female-vocaist cover of it there because it's superior when a woman does it, sorry.

it is a pretty straightforward murder ballad in its content--in the original version, the guy kills a woman, a stranger or his girlfriend sometimes depending on who is covering it.

but instead of it being a cautionary 'be careful and don't get pregnant or it's your fault' tale like omie wise and pretty polly, the guy doesn't get away with it, and he's not portrayed as sympathetic like the murderer is in so many ballads.

a few decades after, women started saying fuck you and writing their own murder ballads.

in the 40s, the femme fatale trope was in full swing with women flipping the script and killing their male lovers for slights against them instead.

men began to enter the "find out" phase in these songs and paid up for being abusive partners. women regained their agency and humanity by actually giving themselves an active voice instead of just being essentially 'fridged in the ballads of old.

her majesty dolly parton even covered plenty of old ballads herself but then went on to write the bridge, telling the pregnant-woman-in-the-murder-ballad's side of things for once. love her.

as a listener, i realized that i personally prefer these modern covers of appalachian murder ballads sung by women-led acts like dolly and gillian welch and even the super-recent crooked still especially, because there is a sense of reclamation, subverting its roots by giving it a woman's voice instead.

meaning that, like a lot else from the problematic past, the appalachian murder ballad is something to be enjoyed with critical ears. violence against women is an evergreen issue, of course, and you're going to encounter a lot of that in this branch of historical music.

but with folk songs, and especially the murder ballad, being such a foundational element of appalachian history and culture and fitting squarely into the appalachian gothic, i still find them important and so, so interesting

i do feel it's worth mentioning that there are "tamer" ones. with traditional and modern murder ballads alike, some of them are just for "fun," like a murder mystery novel is enjoyable to read; not all have a message or retell a historical trial.

(for instance, i'd even argue ultra-modern, popular americana songs like hell's comin' with me is a contemporary americana murder ballad--being sung by a male vocalist and having evolved from being at the expense of a woman to instead being directed at a harmful and corrupt church. that kind of thing)

in short: it continues to evolve, and i continue to eat that shit up.

anyway, to leave off, lemme share with yall my personal favorite murder ballad which fits squarely into murder mystery/horror novel territory imo.

it's the 10th child ballad and was originally known as "the twa sisters." it's been covered to hell n back and named and renamed.

but! if you listen to any flavor of americana, chances are high you already know it; popular names are "the dreadful wind and rain" and sometimes just "wind and rain."

in it, a jealous older sister pushes her other sister into a river (or stream, or sea, depending on who's covering it) over a dumbass man. the little sister's body floats away and a fiddle maker come upon her and took parts of her body to make a fiddle of his own. the only song the new fiddle plays is the tale about how it came to be, and it is the same song you have been listening to until then.

how's that for genuinely spooky-scary appalachia, y'all?

[lizziesangel]

TOM RIDDLE ⟢ soulmates don’t exist PT. 2

SDE MASTERLIST ⟢ x FEM!reader (POC!friendly)

SUMMARY: everything changes for you when snape gives you a certain memory. will you be able to do the task that dumbledore has given you?

WORD COUNT: +3.7k

GENRE: angst-ish (but not really)

CONTENT WARNING: soulmate & time travel au, english is not my first language. muggle studies is basically what we get in school

The corridors of Hogwarts were eerily quiet—almost too quiet in the early morning light. You wandered around Hogwarts, taking in the atmosphere. It was just how you remembered life before the war. But you had to act as if you didn’t know, act as if you didn’t know your way around Hogwarts. Your heart was still racing from the overwhelming disorientation of time travel. The walls seemed taller, the stones beneath you felt somewhat smoother. It felt the same but yet so different at the same time.

You had no clue what to do next. The task lay plain ahead of you—find Tom Riddle and alter the course of his life by becoming his great love. You shook your head; you knew how time travel could have a big effect on the timeline. You never took Muggle Studies—mainly because of the maths—but you knew what this could do. Once he saw you, it would be done. There would be no going back, well, it wasn’t like you could turn back whenever you wanted.

But, it was like Hermione said, ‘No one is supposed to see you.’ Only this time, it was different. If you didn’t change Tom Riddle for the better, you could make him even worse than he was in your time.

“I believe you may be a bit out of place, my dear.”

You stopped dead in your tracks, your heart almost leaping out of your chest. The voice was warm, kind, but still serious. You recognized the voice. You turned and saw Dumbledore standing there, a somewhat younger version.

You knew he was still a professor at this time. His auburn hair was tinged with a lot of strands of silver, his robes a deep shade of purple. His piercing blue eyes gleamed with curiosity and suspicion as he looked at you. He raised an eyebrow, and his lips curled into a gentle, knowing smile. You wanted to slap him, angry for making you do this, while telling you absolutely nothing.

“You look as though you've been wandering these halls for quite some time,” he continued, stepping toward you. “And yet, I don't recall seeing you in any of my classes.”    

You swallowed hard, your mind scrambling for a good answer, but you came up empty-handed. Dumbledore's gaze was patient, waiting for you to speak.

“Uhh... I—” you began, your voice shaking softly, but you stopped. What could you say? What were you supposed to say? That you had just traveled back into the past to stop one of his students from becoming the biggest and darkest wizard of all time?

Dumbledore's eyes softened. “Why don't we take this conversation somewhere a bit more private?” he suggested, his tone gentle. “I have a feeling there's more to your story than a lost stroll through the castle.”

Without waiting for your response, Dumbledore turned around, motioning for you to follow him. You hesitated for a second, but the calmness in his demeanor somehow reassured you. Reluctantly, you followed him down the corridor, your footsteps echoing softly in the stillness of the morning.

After a while, you arrived at an empty classroom, the large wooden door creaking as Dumbledore pushed it open. Sunlight entered through the tall, narrow windows, casting long shadows across the rows of desks. The air was filled with a faint scent of parchment and chalk, just like his.

Dumbledore gestured to a chair near the front. “Please, sit down. Make yourself comfortable.”

You did as he asked, feeling out of place in this familiar yet unfamiliar world. Dumbledore remained standing in front of your desk for a moment, studying you with those sharp, calculating eyes. “There is something... remarkable about you,” he said quietly, his voice kind. “You’re not quite where you’re supposed to be, are you?”

You looked at your shoes, realising you also didn’t quite look the part to simply be lost. “No,” you admitted. You knew lying to a man like Dumbledore would do you no good. “I’m... not?" you said, unsure.

Dumbledore nodded, as if he had expected that answer. “Time,” he mused, his eyes twinkling with understanding. “It has a peculiar way of bending when we least expect it.”

Your head snapped up, meeting his gaze. He knew. He definitely knew. “How?” you breathed, the question slipping out before you could stop yourself. “How did you—”

Dumbledore raised his hand to quiet you. “I have my ways,” he smiled. “But more importantly, it seems you have a very important reason for being here.”

You swallowed, feeling the enormity of your ‘mission’ pressing down on you, but in Dumbledore’s presence, it felt a little less overwhelming—though you were still angry he hadn’t told you anything sooner. He waited, giving you space to explain.

After a pause, you spoke again. “I was sent... to change something. Something that will affect the future,” you hesitated, unsure how much you were allowed to reveal. “It's about Tom Riddle.”

At the mention of Riddle's name, Dumbledore's expression didn't change, but you noticed the slightest shift in his demeanour. His gaze became more focused, and he leaned forward slightly.

“Tom,” he repeated softly. “Yes... I've always known there was something... special about that boy.”

Special? More like dangerous. You nodded. “If I don't change him, if I can't make him different... the world will fall into darkness. Everyone I love, my friends...” you stopped. Your parents. You hadn’t even thought of them. Your heart started banging in your chest. You wanted to go back. Tell them that you were grateful for everything, and that you were sorry for leaving them behind out of nowhere.

Dumbledore didn’t react with surprise. He nodded. “Do not worry about your friends or family.” He sighed softly. “You have been given a great responsibility. But changing the course of someone's life is no simple task, especially when that person’s soul is... so deeply marked.”

You looked down at your hands. “I don’t even know if it’s possible.”

For a moment, Dumbledore was silent, his gaze fixed on you with empathy. “Nothing is impossible, but you must remember, even the darkest of souls have their choices. Tom Riddle's path has always been his own. You may be able to guide him... but ultimately, it is up to him who or what he becomes.”

His words hung in the air, a reminder of what you were facing. “Know that I will be watching, and if you ever need guidance, you know where to find me.”

Dumbledore had insisted on introducing you to the Headmaster as a transfer student, emphasizing that no one could know the truth. The fewer people involved in the truth, the better.

You made your way through the corridors of Hogwarts with Dumbledore. Students were scattered around, laughing, talking in hushed voices, completely unaware of the darkness that would be coming.

Dumbledore said the password to the Headmaster's office. It was the same as he had used. So original. The spiral staircase came into view as the gargoyles started moving. You followed your former Headmaster up the stairs. The office was filled with old books, a large desk, and a few moving portraits on the walls. It looked almost the same as Dumbledore's office.

Behind the desk sat Headmaster Armando Dippet, a tall, thin man with kind eyes. “Ah, Albus,” Dippet said, rising from his seat to greet him. “What brings you here?”

Dumbledore gestured to you. “Headmaster, I would like to introduce you to our newest transfer student.” He gave you a small nod to encourage you to take a step forward. “She's come from Beauxbatons and will be joining us for the rest of her schooling.”

Dippet's eyebrows rose in surprise. “A transfer from Beauxbatons? How delightful! We don't often have students join us from abroad.” He looked at you. “What is your name, my dear?”

You swallowed, your nerves tightening your throat. “Y/n L/n.” You smiled at the Headmaster. “I'm honored to be here.”

“It's always wonderful to have new students join us at Hogwarts. The castle can seem quite large and scary at first, but I'm very sure you'll grow accustomed to it in no time,” Dippet smiled at you.

You forced back a smile. Normally, you would love such pleasantries, but now? Absolutely not. It felt as if you wanted to throw up.

Dumbledore stepped forward. “Headmaster, I’ve already informed Y/N of the basic rules and traditions of the school, but I do believe the Sorting Hat will handle the rest?”

“Indeed,” Dippet nodded, motioning to a nearby shelf where the Sorting Hat was in its usual place. “No time like the present.”

Your heart raced when the Sorting Hat was placed upon your head. You knew what house you had once belonged to, but would it be the same here? In this time?

“Hmm...” the hat murmured after whining about who dared to wake him up. “Interesting... very interesting. You’re not like the others I’ve sorted. Ever.”

You held your breath.

“I see loyalty... with a lot of bravery,” the hat mused. “A fierce desire to do what’s right, even when it’s proven difficult. Courage, and there’s something more than that... something deeper…”

Did it know? You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, huffing out a breath.

“Ah,” it whispered. "But that is not for me to uncover. Your place, however, is clear.”

Another moment passed, and then the hat shouted, “Gryffindor!”

The word rang in your ears. You weren’t placed in the same house. Your former house was Hufflepuff. What changed? The house of loyalty, hard work, and kindness. Maybe this could help ground you. Most Hufflepuffs you knew were kind (mostly high as well) and helpful. There were always exceptions, but you were happy with that house.

Dippet clapped his hands together, clearly pleased. “A Gryffindor! A fine choice indeed. You’ll find good company there.”

Dumbledore’s expression remained calm. “It seems that your path is set,” he said quietly, his eyes twinkling with that wisdom he always had.

As the hat was lifted from your head, you stood up from the stool you had taken a seat on. Gryffindor. It was unexpected, but not wrong—or bad. In some way, it made sense for you. You needed to be brave to talk to Tom Riddle. So, what better house for that than Gryffindor?

The Headmaster waved his wand, and a piece of parchment floated over to you. “Here’s your timetable, Y/N,” he said, handing it over to you. "You’ll begin classes immediately. I’m sure the others will help you find your way.”

You took the parchment, scanning the schedule. You had loads of free periods, and as always, an Astronomy class at midnight on a Friday night.

“Thank you, Headmaster,” you said quietly, tucking the parchment under your arm.

Dippet smiled. “Welcome to Hogwarts, Y/N. I hope your time here will be both enlightening and rewarding.”

“I sure hope so,” you nodded. Rewarding. You could use the reward of going home.

You and Dumbledore left the office. Going down the staircase, the air felt cooler. Dumbledore walked beside you in silence.

“So, you’ve been placed in Gryffindor,” Dumbledore broke the silence. “A good choice. You’ll find a community of loyalty and bravery there.”

You nodded. “I didn’t expect it.”

“Sometimes,” Dumbledore said with a smile, “the unexpected paths are the ones that lead us exactly where we need to go. You have been given a second chance, in more ways than one.”

“And remember,” he said softly, “the fewer people who know your true purpose, the better. Riddle must never know why you’re really here.”

You nodded.

When you stepped inside the Gryffindor common room, you immediately felt the warmth. There was a soft red glow from the lanterns, and the walls were lined with rewards and books. The smell of fresh cookies hung in the air.

A group of students was clustered around a table and looked up as you entered. It was already early in the morning, and you wondered why most students were up at this time. The faces of the students were curious but friendly, and a wave of relief washed over you. Before you could take another step, a girl with curly dark hair and a wide smile broke away from the group.

“Hi!” she greeted enthusiastically, her eyes wide with interest. “You must be the new transfer student! I’m Maeve, Maeve Miller.”

You tried your best not to grimace as you forced a smile. “I’m Y/N L/N.” The realization of having to meet and make new friends dawned on you even harder.

“Professor Dippet had owled us. We were all curious, y’know? Transfer students aren’t that common. You’re lucky it’s the start of the school year!”

You smiled at Maeve’s happiness, but you were still baffled at how fast news spread in Hogwarts. I mean, you had literally just left Dippet’s office.

“I’ll make sure you fit right in. I’ll show you to the dormitory,” Maeve smiled.

You followed her to a spiral staircase. As you walked with Maeve, she chatted happily about the house traditions, the upcoming Quidditch match, and the best way to sneak extra food from the kitchen.

Once you reached the dormitory, you found yourself in a circular room with soft, warm lighting. You saw only one vacant bed — in the middle — with your belongings neatly placed beside it. A suitcase you recognized, though it felt strange seeing it here. You had basically come empty-handed, so how were all your belongings here already?

“ How...?” you trailed off, confused.

Maeve caught your confusion. “Professor Dumbledore’s pretty amazing, isn’t he? He made sure your belongings were here from yesterday evening. Must’ve used some magic to get your stuff here so quickly.”

You nodded, even more confused. You didn’t even know you had time-traveled yesterday. You had no idea how, and you didn’t want to think too much about it before it might drive you mad.

“So, obviously, that’s your bed,” Maeve pointed towards the bed with your belongings on it. “And this is mine,” she added, pointing to the bed next to yours. “We’ll be neighbors! Oh, and these are your other roommates.”

Two other girls approached, one with long red hair and freckles, and the other with short brown curls. They introduced themselves as Alicia and Lilith, both offering you warm, welcoming smiles.

“Nice to meet you,” Alicia said, while Lilith gave you a small, shy wave. “It’s so exciting to have someone new join us, especially in our fifth year!”

“I’m glad to be here!” you lied through your teeth.

“Well, we’re heading to breakfast in a bit if you want to join us,” Alicia offered. “But I’m sure you’ll want to settle in first.”

“Yeah, you guys go ahead, I’ll catch up with you in a while,” you replied with a nod and a smile.

As the girls made their way out, leaving you alone, you felt disoriented. This was all going too fast. You needed a moment to yourself. Normally, you would have already been in your last year. You made your way over to the small adjoining bathroom. The light was bright. You stepped in front of the large mirror, ready to see your face full of scars and dirt from the war.

But no, your fingers trembled slightly as you reached up to touch your face. Staring back at you was a younger version of yourself — exactly as you had looked in your own fifth year at Hogwarts. Your features were softer, untouched by the weight of the war. Your eyes looked brighter... they hadn’t seen the horrors that awaited. No pair of eyes should see a war go down.

It was all surreal, like looking at a stranger. It was clear the potion had not only sent you back in time, but also transformed you to match the age you needed to be.

For a moment, the reflection blurred as tears welled up in your eyes. You had been thrust back into your younger self, in a world you didn’t belong in. You took a deep breath, swallowing the fears and tears away. You could do this. You had to do this. For your friends and family.

The first day at Hogwarts felt surreal. The familiar sounds of students chatting in the Great Hall, the smell of freshly made food, and the sight of enchanted candles floating above made you feel like you had stepped back into a dream. You knew there was a big chance that Tom Riddle was here, in the same room as you.

But before you could worry about him, you had to get through your first day as just another transfer student.

You found yourself sitting at the Gryffindor table with your roommates and their friends. “So, what was Beauxbatons like? I’ve heard it’s incredibly fancy, with all those grand fountains everywhere,” Maeve spoke—a good friend from Lilith, you noted. You could see how she was the one who helped Lilith blossom open as a shy person.

You hesitated for a second, remembering Dumbledore’s warning to keep it simple. You gave her a small smile. “It’s different from Hogwarts. Especially since there are a lot more boys here than I'm used to.”

Lucas, a boy with a head full of black curls, looked up. “Hogwarts has its charm. Luckily you were sorted into Gryffindor. You seem like a cool person, and everyone knows it's the best house.”

Alicia was flipping through your timetable, trying to figure out if you had any classes with your Gryffindor friends. “We’ve got Defense Against the Dark Arts first thing! I'm hoping for some practical lessons today. Spells, maybe,” Alicia's eyes widened with excitement.

Your stomach dropped slightly after Lucas mentioned there was a big chance you’d have a class with the Slytherins and a few Ravenclaws. Given Riddle’s obsessive interest in the subject, there was no doubt he would be in this class.

You offered a casual nod. “Defense Against the Dark Arts should be interesting…”

After the five of you finished breakfast, you gathered your books and made your way to your first class of the day. The halls were busy with students, most of whom paid little attention to you, though a few curious glances lingered.

Once you reached the DADA classroom, you found yourself standing at the doorway. You hoped for a normal teacher—when you were at Hogwarts before, every year there was a teacher with the weirdest background ever. The classroom was large, with desks arranged in neat rows, and the walls were lined with various defensive artefacts.

You let your eyes wander around the room. There, near the middle, sat Tom Riddle.

He was exactly as you had imagined—tall, dark-haired, and composed. His sharp features and cold eyes stood out even among your classmates. He exuded an air of authority and confidence. The other students around him seemed to ignore him. You wondered why. Were they scared of him, or did they think he was a weirdo?

You quickly tore your gaze away from the back of his head before he sensed you staring. “Come on,” Maeve whispered. “We don't want you to be late on your first day.”

You nodded and walked toward a vacant seat next to Lucas. The professor was a stern-looking man with a neatly trimmed beard. He immediately launched into a discussion of the most advanced spells, his tone brisk and matter-of-fact.

It was pretty hard to focus with the presence of Tom Riddle in the room. Every now and then, you dared to glance at him, watching as he listened intently, his expression focused and serious. You had no idea how you were supposed to change him. He already seemed so... unreachable.

Halfway through the class, the professor called for everyone to pair up for duelling practice. Maeve grabbed your arm, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Partners?” she asked eagerly.

“Of course,” you replied, grateful for the distraction.

You and Maeve moved to an open space in the classroom, pulling out your wands as the professor demonstrated a series of defensive spells. You followed along, trying to keep your movements smooth and controlled. Thankfully, the practice went well, and Maeve seemed impressed.

“You're really good!” she said after successfully blocking one of your spells. “You must have had excellent teachers at Beauxbatons.”

You smiled and nodded at her praise. As you practiced with Maeve, you couldn’t help but notice Tom a few spaces away, duelling effortlessly with a Slytherin boy. His movements were precise, fluid, as if he had been born with a wand in his hand. It was clear to anyone watching that he was far more advanced than most students his age.

Finally, when the class came to an end, you packed up your things, trying to avoid looking at him as you left the room with Maeve, Lilith, Alicia, and Lucas.

“Next up is Transfiguration,” Alicia said, checking her timetable as you all walked down the corridor. “I’m actually looking forward to that one.”

The rest of the day passed in a similar blur. Transfiguration was more manageable—Professor Dumbledore, who taught the class, gave you a small, knowing smile when he saw you, though he treated you no differently than the other students. You worked on basic transformations alongside your friends, though your mind kept drifting back to Defense Against the Dark Arts and the presence of Tom Riddle.

Potions came next, with Professor Slughorn as the teacher. He welcomed you to the class with open arms, making sure you had everything you needed. It was weird since you'd already met him, just when he was a bit older. Lucas was quick to show you around the room, helping you find ingredients and sharing tips for the potion you were brewing.

“Slughorn’s a bit of a collector,” Alicia whispered as you carefully added a pinch of powdered unicorn horn to your cauldron. “He loves students with… potential. But he’s nice, at least.”

“He’s even got a club,” Lilith quipped quietly.

By the time you reached your last class of the day, Charms, the exhaustion of trying to keep up appearances had settled deep in your bones. Yet, your new friends kept the energy alive. Alicia was quick with jokes, and Lucas had a dry, witty humor that balanced Maeve's enthusiasm. And Lilith was just there, enjoying her friends’ energy.

a/n: quick chapterrrr, part three will be coming out next week (probably or sooner)

my little taglist <3

@optimisticsandwichgladiator

@artistadistrada2002

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[flowerandblood]

The Lost Haven (14/16)

[ modern mafia • Aemond x niece • female ]

[ warnings: incest obviously, unprotected sex content, kind of hate sex too, oral sex, fingering, smut, the angst, drug dealing, violence, uncomfortable conversations, bad, bad things ]

[ description: The vacation from eight years ago still haunts his memories and doesn't let him forget what happened between him and his niece, the daughter of his sister and Harwin Strong. Their paths separate and he immerses himself in his father's mafia world until the day she calls him for the first time since those events. Sexual tension, dark, dangerous, withdrawn, thirsty Aemond. ]

Author’s note: As promised, this is another, this time official modern version of The Fall from the Heavens. In this version, Daemon is not related to the family, but is simply Rhaenyra's husband and the leader of the second gang, Alys and Larys are also not related to each other, but Larys is Harwin's brother. I will partly refer to the original series, hiding some easter eggs, and some will be a completely new, fresh plot. As in every universe, only Aemond calls her Rhaenys and this is not her real name (she is unnamed character and the others also do not know that he calls her that). There will be a lot more brutality and angst in this version, so watch out. You can read this as a standalone story.

Series & Characters Moodboard Aemond & Rhaenys Moodboard

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

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She wasn't sure when she first felt it: that overwhelming, suffocating terror, the unpleasant, cold sweat on her back, the anxiety and fear. Just as in her childhood, such feelings were evoked in her by the darkness, mostly when she did not feel his warm body beside her, his safe arms not embracing her, his calm breath not enveloping her face.

She opened her eyes then, always feeling the same thing: panic.

Her fingers tightened on the duvet as she realised after a moment, semi-conscious, where and who she was, who she was actually waiting for and why he wasn't there.

An almost physical pain accompanied her as she realised that her uncle was not with her, that he had gone again to sink into his Hades, his World of the Dead, full of drugs, shootings and whores, something she never wanted to have anything to do with.

She would then look anxiously at her watch, counting the seconds, the minutes, the hours, flinching at every creak of the floor or sound in the stairwell, her heart pounding in the hope that it was him, that he had returned, that she would soon be able to sleep in peace again, wrapped in his arms and his wonderful, familiar scent.

He did not return, however, and as usual, when her despair reached its zenith her only thought was that he was dead.

That he wasn't coming back this time.

Even though she knew she shouldn't do it, she would then pull out her phone and call him with tears in her eyes, praying that he would answer, her breath stifling in her throat, when suddenly she heard his voice on the other end.

"What is it?" He asked impatient and frightened, as if he feared the worst.

That something had happened to her.

She was relieved because he was alive and didn't know how to act, how to explain the fact that she was actually bothering him with whatever he was doing for no reason.

"I woke up and you weren't in bed." She muttered in pain, listening to his quiet sigh of fatigue and understanding.

"I know. I'm sorry, baby. I didn't want to wake you up. I have to stay here for at least another hour."

She swallowed hard, glancing at her watch, seeing that it was one o'clock in the morning.

Another hour alone, in the emptiness of his flat, which felt foreign and cold without him.

Even with her things there, it didn't feel like home.

It was his flat, his space, his Hades, and she was just a visitor in his darkness.

"Why?" She asked like a small child, looking around her, again seeing the various frightening shapes in the objects that stood in the room.

She closed her eyes, trying not to think about it, repeating to herself that, after all, she had long since outgrown this fear, that monsters did not exist.

"I have a problem with one man. We are clarifying things, but he is…reluctant. He has taken a lot of money from me, but he has not given me what I need. I have to go. One more hour and I'll be back, I promise." He whispered in pain, and she swallowed hard, feeling her heart in her throat.

Had he just tortured someone?

No, he'd promised her he wouldn't do such things.

That he would do everything he could to avoid violence.

"Oh. Okay." She mumbled, unable to get anything else out, feeling even more terrified than the moment she had called him.

Her lower lip began to tremble when she heard him hang up, tears of fear and despair one by one began to run down her face.

She went into the living room, lay down on the sofa and turned on the TV: the sounds that came from it and the light it emitted made the space around her seem less frightening.

She thought she would just wait for him.

However, an hour passed, then another, and he still wasn't there.

She curled up on the couch and began to cry, tired and drowsy, at the same time unable to fall asleep, Vhagar lying next to her on the floor turning from time to time, having no similar worries to her.

She shuddered as she opened her eyes, still half asleep, feeling someone touch her, his familiar arms lifting her up.

"– easy – it's just me, little one –" He whispered tenderly, her hands and legs automatically entwined around him like vines, her heart full of pain and relief at the same time.

He was back.

She stared at him, breathing loudly through her mouth, at his familiar, beloved face, his sad look full of remorse, his fingers stroking her cheek tenderly.

"– you promised –" She mumbled, hurt and disappointed, his broad hand running over the skin of her warm face as his brow arched in pain.

"– I know, baby – I know – I'm here now –"

He always made love to her when he returned, no matter what state she was in. Even if she tried to push him away, to show him her anger and dismay, his hands and lips full of patience caressed her between her thighs until she fell apart in front of him.

He only took her when she was completely vulnerable, her cunt all slick and leaking from her peak offering him no resistance, even more delicate and sensitive to his every sharp thrust. She couldn't push him away then, craving only the embrace of his arms, his lips that devoured her in a thirsty, yearning kiss.

Their hands clenched desperately on their bodies, cuddling them into each other with loud grunts and moans escaping from their throats, wordlessly testifying to the fact that they both suffered the same way through the separations they experienced almost every night, finally being together again. She drew then on his sighs, his assurances and his pleasure, his gaze filled with an affection so deep it frightened her.

There was something beautiful in the fact that he was somehow devouring her, bit by bit.

The feeling of emptiness would only return when he disappeared again a few nights later.

In between, in the time when she woke up in his embrace, when she looked at his peaceful face in the sunshine, she had the feeling that she was a completely different person: everything made her happy.

In her presence, her uncle was gentle; that didn't mean he didn't get frustrated or that they always agreed, but sensing subconsciously that her words weren't meant to attack him, he reigned himself in and expressed the understanding she so desperately needed.

He did not treat her as his housekeeper or maid: together they went shopping, cleaned his flat, went out with Vhagar, did laundry. She enjoyed watching him from the sidelines as he did simple, prosaic tasks: cutting vegetables next to her, reading on the internet how to make a dish they liked, wondering aloud with her if he had just poured too much pepper into the pot.

"– fuck, so spicy –" He muttered when he tasted what he'd made with the sauce, but she decided when she tasted it herself that it wasn't so bad, and that pepper, unlike salt, was very healthy.

He chuckled at her words, looking at her with pity, as if he was wordlessly trying to tell her that she didn't need to show him mercy.

She noticed that he began to laugh and smile in her presence.

That he began to joke and tease her.

That they talked about things that were increasingly difficult and complicated, and that he didn't back down or avoid answering.

That he had changed.

And then his phone would ring again at night, and he would get up quietly, get dressed and leave.

It felt like she was regressing at that moment: all her childhood phobias, the terror of being left in the dark, were coming back to her with redoubled force, and although she didn't tell him, she would light the small lamp next to her bed, calling Vhagar to come inside, wanting to at least hear her breathing beside her.

Only when she heard the sound of the key turning in the lock did she turn off the light, afraid he would think she was being childish, and pretend to sleep until his hands sank into the softness of her body under her shirt, his lips against her ear, whispering:

"– I'm back, baby –"

A few days of sweet peace had lulled her vigilance again, and the appearance of his grandfather on his doorstep made her state of limbo between worlds collapse. As she locked herself in her room, where she didn't usually stay but kept most of her belongings and books, she began to reflect on the fact that although her mother had called her several times, she hadn't had the courage to answer her.

She didn't know what words to use, fearing that she would try to convince her to come home.

But there was no going back for her.

Not there.

It bothered her that this conversation had gone on for so long and she felt an overwhelming urge to overhear what they were talking about, but she held back, thinking that she should trust him, that he surely knew what he was doing. She jumped up on the bed when she heard the front door open and close, getting up uncertainly and stepped outside, looking at his silhouette from a distance.

He was bent over the countertop and had just had a glass of whisky despite it being so early.

Why?

She approached him uncertainly, feeling his aura, his rage and frustration.

"What did he want?" She asked, watching in horror as he filled his glass anew with alcohol.

"That I should come back. I didn't agree." He replied coarsely, not even looking at her.

She swallowed quietly, glancing sideways at him, her hand touching his shoulder seeing his gaze, frantic and wild.

"Aemond. What happened?" She mumbled and he looked at her in a way that made her feel a cold sweat on her back, a darkness and emptiness in his eyes, something she felt like running away from and hiding under the bed.

"Are you deaf?"

She stared at him with big eyes, feeling for a moment that she had lost her breath and her heart stopped. She turned away, moved ahead and closed herself in her room, locking the door behind her with the key, feeling that her hands were trembling.

Who was this man?

She naively thought that that look, that tone of voice was reserved only for his men, only for those with whom he had to talk rough, whom he had to press down and destroy, but not for her, never for her.

She sat on the bed, pulling her knees up to her chin, and sat like that, staring dully ahead, feeling shivers with every move or step he made on the other side.

He knocked on her door only hours later, when she was struggling to concentrate on reading one of her textbooks.

"– baby, I'm sorry – he brought me out of balance and I took it out on you – I shouldn't have done that – it's a hard subject for me – will you join me and Vhagar for a walk? –" He asked in a voice she knew well, the same one he had used after he had forcibly kept her in his family home.

In a voice filled with remorse.

She looked at the pages filled with text, thinking with surprise that she didn't want to go anywhere with him, didn't want to do anything with him, didn't want to have anything to do with him.

She thought the look was for everyone else, but not for her.

That she was special.

But she wasn't.

"– I'm reading a book – I'd rather stay home –" She said quietly, but loud enough for him to hear her.

A long silence answered her and she was afraid he would become furious, but he only swallowed hard, as if her words had hurt him.

"– okay – we'll be back soon –"

He made several more attempts to drag her out of the room, she however felt safe there, knowing that he could not violate her space by force and had to stand outside, waiting patiently until she wanted to look him in the eye again.

"– are you angry with me? –" He asked at last.

She felt tears under her eyelids thinking that she was not angry with him.

She was afraid of him.

But she wasn't sure if he would bear those words.

"– shall we watch something on TV? – I'll stroke your head afterwards before bed, just the way you like it – I'm sorry –" He mumbled out like a little boy, and she felt a squeeze in her heart knowing that he had already returned, that he was again the one she loved, the one she wanted, the one she had agreed to marry then, on that beach.

She looked at her bracelet made of candy and then at the scar underneath it, thinking that she was sure the man because of whom she had made it to herself had disappeared.

"– I think I'd rather spend the evening here – if that's okay –" She muttered in a breaking voice, feeling tear after tear run down her face, her lips quivering all over with emotion, with regret that she had to push away, if only for a moment, the man whose presence she craved incessantly, because she needed distance and a moment to breathe.

A sense that she, too, had something to say in a situation where everything really depended on him.

"– oh – okay – I'll be next door if you need me –" He replied, and she closed her eyes, pressing her lips into a thin line, trying not to make a sound, feeling her chest twitch with each of her quiet sobs.

And then, as the late evening fell, she saw him turn on the light in the hallway, heard him put on his jacket and shoes, and her heart stopped in her throat.

No.

"I have to go out. I don't know when I'll be back." He said loudly, and she jumped up from the bed as if burned, opening her door quickly, facing him, pale and shocked.

"– why? –" She mumbled with difficulty, thinking that she didn't want him to leave, that she just wanted him to let her be alone for a while, but for him to be next door, in the other room.

"– the policeman who was helping us was shot – Tyland is taking revenge for what I did to him – the consequences of my actions are slowly reaching me –" He muttered without strength, as if he was very tired and weary, something in his gaze that told her he had given up.

Tyland is taking revenge for what I did to him.

The consequences of my actions are slowly reaching me.

"Take me with you." She whispered, just wanting to make sure he was okay, that everything was under control, that she would be with him and not in an empty, dark, big, scary flat, counting down the hours and minutes until his return.

"No. I can't. I won't make the same mistake again. The more they are aware that you are not my temporary whim, the more danger I put you in." He said, and she shook her head, deciding that she didn't care what happened to her.

She could no longer stand the terrifying emptiness she felt when the door closed behind him and she was left alone in her cage.

"Then treat me like your whore in front of them."

She saw that his eyes grew big at her words, as if he couldn't believe they really came out of her mouth.

"What did you say?"

"Treat me as if you're bored with me. As if you hold me close just because I am Daemon's daughter. Be cold and chilly. You can hit me if you want." She said without thinking, deciding that it didn't matter anymore anyway.

In their eyes she was just his whore anyway, a deviant, a niece he had raped and made his sex toy out of.

"What? Do you want me to do it so you can find the strength to leave me? Reassure yourself of how fucked up I am?" He asked furiously, gesturing with his hands in a sign of impatience, his words like a cold shower that woke her up, making her realise what she was really afraid of and why she was so desperate to say something like that.

"I don't want to stay here alone, wondering if you're still alive. The fear I feel then no lamp can light up." She muttered with difficulty, feeling that she couldn't hold back the tears that flowed down her face.

His eyebrows arched in pain, as if it was only then that he understood what she was trying to convey to him, something in his gaze that told her he had hesitated, that he felt something, that there was hope.

"– I don't know, baby – God, I have to go – I –" He mumbled, and she nodded, not wanting him to think about it.

"– give me five minutes –" She said and disappeared out the door, looking for some of his hoodies in the wardrobe to put on, feeling relieved.

And then she heard his quick footsteps, the sound of the door opening and closing, the fact that he had shut it with a lock he knew she didn't have a key for.

She ran out into the corridor, looking at it, the symbol of her enslavement, and ran towards it as if she had lost her mind, bursting into a loud sob, banging on it as if she were a small child.

"– NO – NO, NO, NO, AEMOND, DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE – TAKE ME WITH YOU, PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME –" She shouted, choking on her tears, digging her short nails into the wooden structure, pounding on it with her fists only to fall to her knees.

"– I'M SCARED, I'M SCARED, I'M SCARED, PLEASE –" She whined, laying down on the floor, but he was gone.

She felt Vhagar run up to her, sniffing her anxiously only to lie down beside her a moment later and they lasted like that, an hour, or maybe more, lying cuddled together.

When she woke up, she was blinded by the light of the lamp in the corridor – she felt an unpleasant shiver and the fact that she was cold, so she picked herself up from the floor and went to her room. Vhagar moved behind her, apparently thinking that perhaps they would go out for a walk, however, even if she wanted to, she could not open the door now.

He had locked her in here.

She stared blankly at the ceiling, feeling a constriction in her chest, tears one by one running down the side of her face onto the pillow under her head, complete nothingness in her mind, darkness, as if there was not a drop of light left in her.

He didn't return until hours later – his silhouette that stopped in the doorway of her room was dark and tall, as if he were a demon, a nightmare, a demigod, a dream, but not human.

The touch of his hand on her skin, his fingers digging into her flesh, his lip that she bit, the taste of his blood on her tongue seemed at once completely foreign and wonderfully familiar to her.

"– no –" She breathed out, wanting to punish him, to push him away, to make him feel what she felt.

However, her body betrayed her, her pussy leaked under his fingers with desire and lust, with the need for him to embrace her and wrap her in the warmth of his body, for his hard manhood to sink deep into her again and soothe her.

"– I'm back – I'm here, baby – you can let go now –" He whispered, as if uttering some kind of spell or curse from which her body relaxed, allowing him to do what he wanted, to sink her into his darkness and take her for himself.

His voice seemed to come to her from afar, his fingers deep inside her hitting again and again the sweet spot between her throbbing muscles making her lose touch with reality, writhing beneath him in ecstasy.

"– being with me, you won't know freedom – I'm not in a position to choose between that and your safety – if that's what you want, I'll let you leave – but make love to me one last time –" He breathed out and she felt tears under her eyelids, her throat squeezed so tight she had trouble taking a deep breath.

If that's what you want, I'll let you leave.

I don't want leave, she thought.

I just want to be alone.

I want to be special to you, the only one in the world.

Beloved.

"– my sweet baby girl – my little sunshine –" He whispered, taking her for himself, the voracious, desperate stabs of his hips thrusting deep into her slick, hot opening, filling her with his seed with the loud click of her moisture, their breaths heavy and ragged, their embrace tight, full of desire to be reunited again.

His tears joined hers as he pressed his face to her cheek, his broad, familiar hand stroking her head, his breath raspy, surrounding her ear with warmth.

"– my grandfather – what he told me –" He whispered, and she froze, opening her eyes suddenly. "– he said that you wouldn't be able to bear this life, just like my grandmother – that you would commit suicide too – and I don't want to live in a world where you won't be there, even if you are no longer by my side –"

She hugged him tighter, feeling that she suddenly understood what had happened.

Why he had been so angry, why he had looked at her that way, why he had spoken to her that way.

He was terrified as much as she was.

This realisation, the fact that she wasn't the only one living in fear was both depressing and liberating for her, the weight of his words and the emptiness she felt inside her seemed to pull her lower and lower.

When she woke, the sun was just rising – his arms were embracing her from behind, her hand on his palm, his warm breath enveloping her neck.

She knew that something inside her had snapped, that if she just stayed and claimed that nothing had happened, their whole lives would start to crumble around them, and he would feel it.

She stood up quietly and looked at him, putting her hand in the pocket of his trousers. She swallowed hard when she felt the keys to the house by the sea underneath them and took them out quietly, praying he wouldn't wake up.

She didn't know how she would then explain to him what she wanted to do and what it meant to them.

She pulled her hoodie over her head and, dressed only in his sweatshirt, shorts and trainers, with her small backpack in which she had only her keys, wallet, phone and charger, she quietly left the house and closed the door behind her, seeing the look of concern of Vhagar standing in the corridor, not understanding why she had not taken her with her.

Sitting on the bus, she wondered what he would feel when he woke up.

Disappointment?

Anger?

Helplessness?

What she felt every time he left?

She wondered if she should leave him any kind of message, but as much as she wanted to, she wouldn't know what she should write him on it. She felt that she was stuck, unable to either move backwards or forwards.

She knew she loved him and she knew she was miserable.

When she arrived, the sky was cloudy, as if the world around her reflected her state of mind. She only had time to step inside the large, empty house and felt her phone vibrate.

She knew he was awake.

Was he angry?

Desperate?

She unlocked the screen with a trembling hand and swallowed hard to see couple unanswered calls and one message from him.

She closed her eyes, understanding what he was asking, feeling that part of her wanted to do this for him, to reassure him him that she was okay, but she knew how it would end.

He would write another message, then another and another, and she would give in to him and let him come.

She needed to clear her mind, she needed the solitude she had condemned herself to, not forced into.

When she walked into his old room she put her small backpack on the floor and lay down on his bed, looking towards the window. As she looked around she felt a squeeze in her heart at the thought that when she was a child it felt like there was so much space, but now she felt it was cramped.

She reached her hand to the shelf standing next to his bed and smiled, taking from it one of the small volumes telling the adventures of the Mighty Vhagar. She flipped through page after page of tales of the Prince and his beloved Rhaenys travelling across distant lands on their dragons, feeling tears of emotion and melancholy pool under her eyelids, clutching her throat.

The Prince, though fearless and relentless, feared, watching the other powerful dragon riders for his beloved's life; her dragoness, Larax, was beautiful, her scales silvery blue, glistening in the sunlight, her figure slender and light, sailing beside him across the sky. However, what made Larax different from Vhagar was size – Vhagar was gigantic like a stone fortress, yet Larax was small and delicate. And so, although his Rhaenys deeply desired to visit the neighbouring Kingdom, he never agreed, knowing that it was a barbaric people, riding dragons that were shrill and terrifying, which he himself feared, though he did not speak of it. He, as a Prince, would travel to this dark land with his father the King, thus keeping the peace, and she would cry when he left her. "Weep not, my dearest," he said, "my heart remains with you."

She closed her eyes, feeling the heavy tears one by one run down her cheeks straight onto the sheets of paper, onto the pages filled with beautiful illustrations of dragons and their riders, stories they had read with hot cheeks all evenings.

She spent the day walking on the beach – the squeals of the seagulls around her and the hum of the sea simultaneously calmed her and filled her with sadness. She put her arms around herself, feeling the coolness of the wind seep through her body, involuntarily smelling his scent as soon as she touched the fabric of his sweatshirt.

It was as if a part of him was still with her.

She looked at the bracelet she had received from him, an expression of his love, so childish, naive.

Innocent.

And yet so dark at the same time.

And then the night came.

Even though she slept in his bed, under his duvet, even though she could smell him, she was afraid: she was not afraid of monsters now, however, but of what was going on inside her head.

Where was she supposed to go back to?

Who was she supposed to be?

What was she supposed to do?

She felt that a sense of meaning had slipped through her fingers: she realised that without her mother, her father, her uncle, her professor, she was nothing.

What kind of person was she really?

What were her values?

What did she want?

For eight years she had only dreamed of being with him again, but she had never thought about what that would look like.

What she would have to sacrifice.

She didn't want to betray him, abandon him – never – but she was terrified of living in constant fear of losing him again.

Of hearing the news that someone had shot him in the head, just as he had once done to Larys.

The next day she woke up even more tired than when she fell asleep: she had nightmares all night.

She dreamt of a monster coming out of the wardrobe, dark, tall and long, who just stood over her and watched her, and she couldn't say anything or scream.

She realised that this was the personification of what she feared most.

The inability to react, to make a move.

The cage.

The fact that she had received another message from him and how he was suffering did not help her.

She didn't know what she was supposed to answer him.

"I'm alive"?

Wouldn't he then feel that she no longer loved him? That she had only written him off so that he would give her a break?

She didn't want that.

She didn't want him to suffer.

Sitting on the beach for hours, gazing at the horizon, she thought of a way out of the deadlock she was in, something that might make her regain control of her life, the feeling that she was co-determining what was happening to her.

But there was a void in her mind, and that scared her the most.

That there was no path in her life in which she could be truly happy.

That she was doomed to wither like a flower, to die while she was alive.

Part of her wanted to give up, to call Daemon and tell him to take her home: however, what kind of life would await her there?

Jace would never forgive her. They would all pretend that nothing had happened, but they would certainly be disgusted with her in reality. After all, she'd fucked her own uncle, run off with him even though he'd hurt her, fooled her, humiliated her.

It was hard for her to understand how one man could combine so many contradictions: her uncle. It seemed to her, although she recognised that this could only have been the result of her vanity, that in her presence he was revealing a part of himself from the past that he had locked away. He was rediscovering a gentle, tender touch, a soft tone of voice, a calm gaze, a lightness in breathing, as if to remind himself that what his men had seen was only a mask.

But was that really the case?

Or was she merely telling herself this to make herself feel better, to look at his stone-cold face when he spoke to them without feeling terror?

That he wasn't pretending at the time.

That he was the other part of himself then.

A monster from the wardrobe.

Could she love someone who soothed and terrified her at the same time?

Or did he need her to subdue that side of himself, to save himself from falling?

In the end, she knew that he himself was afraid of the dark.

She thought sadly, looking at her hands, that they were both just as hopelessly lost, standing on the margins, unable to find a place or purpose for themselves, feeling an eternal, never-ending shame since they were little children.

That night a storm broke loose: lightning struck close to home, thunder shook the ground, loud and dangerous, making her curl up in bed in fear.

And then she heard it: the creaking of the floor.

She clamped her hands on the sheets, swallowing hard and listened with her heart beating in panic, recognising that the sound was coming from the floor below the room.

She drew in the air loudly when she heard it again, this time more clearly, as if someone was coming up the stairs: she picked up her backpack, slid to the floor and hid under the bed, exactly as she had done when she was a small child.

She closed her eyes, feeling the tears of terror one by one run down her face, clenching her lips to make sure no sound came out, thinking it was just a bad dream, nothing more.

And then someone opened the door.

She stared ahead with big eyes, feeling her heart in her throat, begging in her mind that she could just melt into the floor, disappear, dissolve into the air, the footsteps beside her getting louder and clearer, making her realise it wasn't a nightmare.

And then a silhouette knelt beside the bed and she recognised his face.

He was looking at her exactly as he had when he first found her: his gaze expressed shock and compassion, his brow arched in pain, as if he himself wanted to cry.

"– Rhaenys – oh, baby –" He mumbled with a breaking voice, reaching out to her, and she crawled to him quickly, bursting out crying as soon as he enclosed her in the embrace of his familiar, safe arms.

"– I'm sorry –" She cried out, whooping with tears, feeling that her whole body was trembling from fear, sadness, disappointment, the suffering caused by their separation. "– I'm sorry – I didn't know what to do –"

He hushed her, kissing the top of her head again and again, his hands stroking tenderly through her hair and down her back, cuddling her into him, his wonderful scent filling her nostrils giving her relief.

"– no – it's okay – I found you, little one – you're safe now –" He whispered, and she nodded quickly, tightening her hands on his leather jacket.

She felt him take her in his arms and lift himself up, exactly as he had done then, laying down on the bed with her. He pulled off his shoes and jacket before his shaking hand touched her cheek again, as gently and slowly as if she were made of glass.

He gave her one tender, warm look full of relief before his warm, full lips pressed against hers in the sweetest, gentlest kiss she had ever experienced in her life.

He gasped when her fingers ran over his neck, when her body pressed against his, when her lips parted in front of his, trailing over their fleshy structure, just teasing them. She heard his shuddering sigh, felt his hand sink into her hair, combing through it with tentative, affectionate strokes full of hope, the tips of their tongues touched and licked, making her shudder.

There was something perverted and obscene in those kisses alone, in the way their lips, swollen with desire, melted together again and again with the quiet clicks of their saliva as all she could hear around them was the tapping of raindrops against the window.

She thought that only in his arms she was not afraid.

Only in his arms did it all make sense.

The affection, the suffering, the sacrifice, the pain, the joy, the sadness.

It all came down to his person.

"– I love you –" She whispered into his mouth and heard him sigh, his hands clenched tightly on her body, craving those words like nothing else. "– that's all I know –"

His tongue slid deep between her teeth, coming out to meet hers, as if he couldn't take any more of the feeling that was tearing their hearts apart, his hands pulled her closer, allowing her to feel the hard, throbbing bulge in his trousers on her stomach.

She moaned involuntarily into his throat, feeling her nipples harden with sweet desire, the space between her thighs all swollen, producing moisture in response to his treatments.

They said nothing more to each other – his hands slid under the fabric of her hoodie, roaming lazily over the bare, smooth skin of her back, her waist, her thighs. He wasn't in a hurry; she felt that after this sudden, terrifying, shocking separation he wanted to enjoy this moment, the feel of her body under his fingers, everything she was and had become to him.

He pulled away from her to look at her, his free hand stroking her jaw – his thumb ran over the line of her cheekbone as his gaze traveled all over her face, a hot, tender feeling in his healthy eye from which her heart fluttered in her chest. She clenched her thighs together, feeling the tension, just looking at his parted lips, hearing his broken, accelerated breathing, feeling his manhood pushing again and again against her lower abdomen.

When his fingers rubbed against the material of her panties she merely nodded, and he took a breath, pressing his thirsty, moist lips against hers again, pulling them off her thighs with a few sure tugs. He didn't unzip his trousers, however – instead, his fingers sunk tentatively between her thighs into her warm folds, drawing a surprised, girlish moan from her throat.

"– shhh – shhh, baby, it's okay –" He murmured into her mouth, sighing with delight as her cunt leaked under his hand, hot and eager, the tips of his fingers wandering lazily around her swollen, sensitive clit made her roll her hips, needing more, harder.

"– please –" She mumbled, throwing her arms around his neck, allowing herself to drift off completely into the pleasure his painfully slow, sure touch was giving her, his movements deliberately gentle, not giving her what she needed.

The corner of his mouth twitched in satisfaction when he noticed something in the expression on her face that told him she would give herself to him completely, his free hand tightening on her hair.

"– I'd rather use my mouth down there – but I want to look into your eyes when you come –" He whispered in a way from which she felt a drop of cold sweat run down along her spine, her lips parted involuntarily in a pathetic moan as the tips of his fingers dug firmly into her silky folds at last.

There was something unsettling and frightening about his dark, defiant gaze, the way it was fixed confidently in her eyes, not allowing her to turn or move away, just to simply take what he was giving her. Her fingers tightened on his black T-shirt as he finally sped up, with each circle around her clit rubbing her throbbing opening, weeping in desire, begging for his attention.

She closed her eyes and gasped as she felt the tips of his two fingers push against her slit, stretching her swollen pussy on their thickness, receiving her quiet cries of desire in return. His hand tilted her head back, his breath heavy and hot on the skin of her face.

"– no – look at me –" He breathed out, his gaze dark and hot with desire, his fingers hitting her sweet spot again and again making her walls begin to clench around their length in convulsions.

"– Aemond –" She cried out and his mouth was immediately on hers, devouring her with greedy, loud, sticky kisses full of his tongue and panting, his fingers pounding into her in a relentless, fierce rhythm making her feel a wonderful tingling in her lower abdomen, in her lips, in her nipples, her pussy beginning to clamp down on them, close to fulfilment.

She squealed and mewled, feeling the tears of relief one by one run down her cheeks as she suddenly reached her peak, her hazy gaze barely able to see his face, his black eye staring at her as if he was seeing a woman orgasm for the first time, wide open in delight and satisfaction.

She felt him slide his fingers gently out of her hot, throbbing insides, hearing the sound of his belt and zipper being undone a moment later, letting the fingers of his hand stretch her slit to the sides, allowing his full, fat cock to slide easily into her without any resistance.

He groaned in relief when he was finally inside her, positioning himself so that the movements of his hips were enough to sink him again and again between her hot walls, leaking from her fulfilment, letting his hands embrace her and cuddle her into him.

He panted into her ear, focused only on himself and his sensations, with lazy, slow thrusts opening her again and again on his swollen length, teasing again her spongy spot inside her, now oversensitive and delicate.

His touch was surprisingly tender, light, devoid of aggression; it made her feel relaxed, herself taking pleasure in feeling him deep inside her, in the way his face sank into the hollow of her neck, his lips brushing her skin encouragingly.

"– oh baby – mmm – my little girl – ah, God, yes –" He gasped, speeding up, chasing his fulfilment without thinking about how long he should last to feel masculine enough, experienced enough, confident enough.

Something about knowing that with her he wasn't worrying about such things, that he was just being, reaching for what he really wanted with a few sloppy, messy thrusts reaching his peak with a sigh of delight, made her simply close her eyes, focusing on how hard he was pulsing inside her, filling her with his release.

They lay snuggled into each other, panting quietly, not saying anything or moving, just lingering in that most natural state for them, where their bodies were entwined together to form one person.

"I know how to fix this, baby. Do you trust me?" He asked in a whisper, and she opened her eyes and blinked, surprised to feel her heart hit harder in her chest.

"What do you mean?" She asked just as quietly, trailing her fingers down his back, pressing her face into his neck, smelling of his aftershave and cigarettes. He swallowed hard, as if gathering his courage, and kissed her forehead.

"I will give you back the premises that belonged to your father."

She froze, not understanding for a moment what he meant, and looked at him, trying to make out anything on his face.

"What?"

"Before Larys took over their entire family business, your father had three establishments: Harrenhal Club, Twins Club and Eagle's Nest Hotel. He got to the point, wanting to get as far away from drug smuggling as possible, that the people working there were reluctant to go back to their old ways. Larys forced them to do so, but most of the best workers fled to my grandfather or Daemon. I didn't know for a long time what to do with these places, but now I think I should just pass them on to you. That will make you able to take part in some of our conversations as an associate, like Baratheon does, for example. I will assign you some of my men to protect you. Some of them are tired and want peace and quiet for themselves and their families. Your presence, the fact that you are with me and at the same time you are Daemon's daughter gives us the assurance that you will not be attacked from any side."

She listened to him in disbelief, thinking, touched, that he was serious.

He wanted to give her some of his power, some of what her father had worked for, so that she would feel that she was not completely dependent on him.

She would be part of his world, not delving into the darkest side of it.

"What about Jace? Luke? He was their father too." She mumbled, thinking that would surely make them hate her even more.

She heard her uncle grin.

"I don't give a shit about them."

She swallowed hard, looking him straight in the eye, seeing the certainty in his gaze that made her feel hot.

"I won't have to store your drugs or sell them?" She muttered, and he shook his head.

"No. You'll just be giving us cover for our meetings from time to time. Nothing illegal that would burden you." He whispered in a trembling voice, looking at her expectantly like a child waiting for praise.

"You'll really do it?" She asked, and he nodded, licking his lower lip.

"Yes. Yes, if you come home with me. We'll go to the notary tomorrow, make it official." He said, excited that she hadn't rejected his idea.

What he was saying simultaneously pleased and horrified her.

"After all, none of them will want to listen to me. They won't respect me. I'm just a little girl, what do I know about their tough world?" She asked, shrugging her shoulders, realising that it all only sounded simple.

"I'll help you. Just like you helped me with my studies. I will teach you everything. They'll respect you, first for the sake of me and your two fathers, and then for the sake of you when they realise you'll protect them and not drag them into this shit." He said looking her straight in the eyes, something in his certainty, the warmth that emanated from his voice made her eyes glaze over with tears.

"Shall we try?" He mumbled, his haze full of hope.

She nodded her head and hugged him, his arms closing her instantly in a tight embrace.

"I love you. Everything is going to be okay. I promise." He whispered.

And she believed him.

[mika-mp3]

The treasure is all mine!

-Prologe- (Chapter one, chapter two) Genshin Impact x Creator!Reader

warnings: first post ever! almost swear word, the most classic start to a SAGAU fic ever (Im sorry I dont know hot to start else), no y/n used, gender neutral ,english isn't my first language so propably spelling errors, I don't know how Aranaras talk. (I professionally ignored that quest.), characters might turn yandere in the future

summary: After playing TCG your screen becomes strangely white. It starts glowing brighter and brighter and the light seems to suck you in? That can't go wrong... right? Suddenly you find yourself in a forest, not remembering anything but meeting a little creature that might be able to help you out

characters: you, your mom (no this is not a joke), aranara!oc: Aramasu

word count: 1.359

wattpad version here

https://pin.it/38Diiq1CA

"THIS BI-" you yelled at the screen. The third time. The third time you lost at that damn card game, and the third time you got annoyed because of it. "How?? How can this be so hard? It's the same technique I always use when I play normally! It works against bosses; why not now in the Genius Invocation TCG? I was so close this time too!" With a frustrated sigh, you let your head fall back. On the screen was still the word "defeat," big and plastered onto a red background for extra drama. Seriously, who had this idea? It's just frustrating at this point. Not even the recommended teams online seemed to work. You even tried copying the other players' teams that defeated you, but you still lost anyway. Why were you doing this again? Oh right... rewards.

Another sigh escaped your mouth when you heard your mother's voice from the kitchen. "Darling! Come down, dinner is ready!" A small smile crept on your face. 'Darling,' a nickname your mom gave you whenever she was in a good mood. Seems like work was quite alright today.

"Coming!" you answered, the dinner smell already reaching you by the time you finally mustered up the courage to sit up. Looking at the screen one last time, you decided to stop playing Genshin Impact for today. You had already done your dailies and everything else you felt like doing. Seriously though, doing dailies started to feel like a chore. That's why you were more than happy to open chests and explore instead. Standing up, you turned the game off and watched the screen go black.

Or... did it?

You were just about to leave the room when it lit up once more, but not with the loading screen, just plain white. "What the..." A bright white light filled the room, instantly blinding you. With your hands lifted before your eyes, you managed to get closer. "What is this?!" you said, a bit of fear in your voice. This had never happened before! You didn't even know that your screen could be so blinding! Just when you were about to touch it, everything went dark. Dark and warm. That's all you felt. Looking around frantically, you tried to make sense of the situation. It was still bright outside, so it shouldn't have been so dark now! Maybe just the aftermath of the blinding light?

"Darling, are you okay?" You heard a voice in the distance, but it felt oddly far away, as if it went further and further away with every word spoken. "M-.. Mom?" you asked, but there was no answer. It was still very warm. So warm. Slowly, you felt yourself grow weaker and weaker. Soon your knees gave in, but you didn't fall while your eyes closed shut. Before you could say anything else, your consciousness had already left your body. . . . . So... comfy. It was so warm, like on a sunny summer day when you lie down on the grass and just enjoy the fresh air. Talking of which, whatever you lay on felt just as nice. The sounds of birds could be heard in the distance. After a couple of minutes, you opened your eyes and saw...

A vast expanse of vibrant green, stretching out before you. You're lying on a bed of soft moss, the texture cushioning your body like the most luxurious mattress. Above, a canopy of trees sways gently in the breeze, their leaves creating a symphony of whispers. Sunlight filters through the branches, casting dappled patterns of light and shadow that dance around you.

You sit up slowly, feeling the softness of the moss beneath your fingers. The air is filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers and the earthy aroma of the forest floor. You take a deep breath, the freshness of the air invigorating you. The sounds of chirping birds and the distant babble of a stream create a soothing background melody.

As you look around, the forest feels both alien and familiar. Massive trees with trunks wide enough to house entire rooms rise majestically around you. Their leaves are an array of colors, from the deepest greens to shimmering golds, reflecting the sunlight in a magical display. The forest floor is dotted with flowers of every hue, some glowing faintly, adding to the otherworldly atmosphere.

Confused, you try to remember how you got here. The last thing you recall is the blinding white light from your screen and your mother calling you for dinner. Your thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of something soft nuzzling your hand. Looking down, you see a white rabbit, its fur pristine and its eyes large and expressive. It seems completely at ease, cuddling against your hand as if it belongs there.

With a gentle touch, you stroke the fur of the rabbit. It nuzzles into your hand, happy and content. A gentle smile spreads across your face. Have you ever felt so at peace before? It's hard to say when you don't remember anything from before. Not like it matters now. Nothing matters. There is no reason to question anything at all. Not why this wild rabbit is so calm and cuddly with you, not scared at all. Not why you don't feel certain things, like hunger or thirst. It's all so nice and warm and cozy.

Wait, there is something. Some feeling, not very familiar, but you still recognize it. Are you being watched?

Yes. No, no, it can't be that. Probably? Turning around, you scan your surroundings. All the bushes, the trees, and their leaf crowns, then you see it.

It isn't threatening, more weirdly familiar than anything. The small creature is floating above the ground with a little cute 'hat'? One word pops into your head as the creature comes closer: 'Aranara.' But how do you know that? It feels natural, like knowing the name of a dog or cat. Aramasu. This little Aranara's name is Aramasu.

"You're not a Nara," says the curious creature.

You answer, "No, I am no Nara. That's what I believe, at least."

With a soft smile, you reach out, cupping the little Aranara's face. It looks up, surprised, almost speechless. The warmth soothing through its body by the mere touch of you.

"What might you be doing here, little Aramasu?"

The rabbit, still cuddled up in your other hand, seems very happy with the encounter. The Aranara isn't surprised that you know its name; it feels truly natural.

Aramasu's eyes widen slightly, then it relaxes into your touch. "I was just wandering, like I always do. But today felt different. The forest whispered to me of a new presence, something... special."

You look around; the forest seems to glow with a subtle, otherworldly light, as if acknowledging Aramasu's words. The trees sway gently, and the air is filled with a soft, harmonious hum. It feels as though the entire forest is alive and aware of your presence, welcoming you in a way that goes beyond mere coincidence.

"Special?" you ask, intrigued. "How so?"

Aramasu tilts its head, studying you with a curious expression. "You have a light within you, one that resonates with the heart of the forest. It's warm and soothing, like the embrace of the earth itself. It's rare to see such light in anyone other than the forest spirits."

The rabbit nudges your hand, drawing your attention back to its soft fur. You feel a sense of contentment and belonging, unlike anything you've ever experienced—or at least, anything you can remember. The forest, the creatures, even the very air around you, all seem to sing in harmony with your presence.

"Perhaps," Aramasu continues, "you are more than what you think you are. The forest recognizes you, and so do I."

As you ponder Aramasu's words, a sense of purpose begins to stir within you. Though you may not remember your past, the present feels vivid and alive, as if this is where you were always meant to be. The forest, with all its mysteries and wonders, seems to be waiting for you to discover your true self.

-to be continued-

https://pin.it/3bEkLA0wa

Thank you so much for reading! Fell free to give me feedback and ideas how to continue this!

Mika

[majusialikesfastcars]

EYES OFF YOU

Arvid Lindblad x reader

Summary: Arvid never believed in love at the first sight. But then he met you, Ollie's cousin, and wasn't so sure about his beliefs anymore.

this request 🫶

⚠️Tw: prema boys being the little shits they are

!English is not my first language, so please bare with me🙏🙏!

(arvid's version)³

♪ 🌻 ♪

♪ 🌻 ♪

There's no touch or feeling,

Pleasure or pain,

Anything like the way you're runnin' through my veins,

No breath or beauty,

No sound or sight,

That ever made me feel the way you do tonight,

I just can't take my eyes off of you.

♪ 🌻 ♪

Going to the track at early hours of the morning was something normal for Arvid. Morning fog surrending garages and the silence of only few people working, was something he grew to love. He could quiet his mind and focus on the upcoming race. It was like second nature for him. When the crowds started to gather, he liked to hide in his garage, being a little introverted.

Today wasn't an exception. He sat in the corner of the prema garage, watching people walking by. And that's when he saw you, smiling at everyone. When your eyes met, he felt like time has stopped. He shyly smiled back, feeling his cheeks grow hot. That's when you decided to walk up to him. He could feel his heart beating rapidly, when you finally stood in front of him.

"Hi," you said sheepishly, tucking your curly hair behind your ear. "do you by any chance know how I can get to formula two paddock?"

"Yeah," he stuttered a bit. "I can show you where it is."

For the whole walk, he couldn't keep his eyes away from you. He was simply enamored by you. You talked like you knew eachother for years and he loved the lack of akward silence.

"How did you even end up in the wrong paddock?" he asked, curious as to why you were here.

"My cousin was supposed to pick me up, but something came up and I got lost." you laughed and Arvid knew he found his new favourite sound. He didn't dug deeper and unbeknownst to him that said cousin was watching you two with a sly smile on his face. Ollie Bearman was a lot of things, but not stupid. He knew by the look in your eyes, that you too were smitten by the dark haired boy.

It was time to play cupid.

♪ 🌻 ♪

Ollie, Kimi, Dino, Gabriele and Arvid sat on chairs, ready to play pico park for prema's new YouTube video. You watched the boys laugh and scream at eachother, when someone was sabotaging the game, with a fond smile on your face. Lost in thoughts, you didn't notice that Arvid was also staring, totally not focusing on the game. But the other boys were fully aware of it and who would they be if they didn't tease him for it.

"ARVID!" Ollie shouted, smirking at the younger boy. "Focus on the game, mate."

"Yeah," Dino said with an evil grin on his face. "you can ask her out later."

Arvid swore, he would kill him later. When you looked at him, he really wanted the earth to swallow him whole. He almost became as red as Ferrari. The boys, of course, laughed at him. Now, he was sure he would kill them all. And then ask you out.

♪ 🌻 ♪

You sat in the prema garage, watching Ollie prepare for his race. Formula three race ended with Arvid winning it and you were really impressed with his skills. It was like him and his car were one. You felt someone's presence next to you. When you turned your head, you saw Arvid smiling from ear to ear. It was like he knew you thought about him. You smiled back, blush covering your cheeks. You could shamelessly admit that his post race look was hot.

"Congrats on P1." you said, winking playfully at him. "Winning looks good on you."

Arvid felt his heart practically melting, when you said that.

"Thanks." he decided, that it was now or never and asked "Would you like to hang out sometime?"

He felt blush cover his cheeks as soon as he said it, looking at the ground sheepishly.

"I would love to." you said, sitting closer to him and shyly taking his hand in yours.

Maybe killing the boys wasn't that necessary, he thought, looking at your fingers now intertwined together.

♪ 🌻 ♪

Author's note: I swear the pico park video is my fav thing in the world. Sorry for the wait and hope you enjoyed the story<3

[wandixx]

Ghost of fries and hero of cookies part 6

All work words count: 14 643

Words in this part: 2 686

Summary of whole work: Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay

Or

Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of local hero? And he looked like he needed bad day combo anyway

This part summary: Batman wants an explanation. His kids however, wouldn't be themselves if they did add some chaos

Beta read by @audhumla-sailor though English is second language for both of us, so proceed with this in mind. I also know all of the charaters through fics alone, so probably ooc. Stay catious if it's something you don't like

First part, Previous part

“Signal.”

Duke bit back a sigh as his last hope to leave Cave undiscovered disappeared. He shot Steph message of:

Having The Talk. Come as moral support

and turned around to face Bruce.

“Yes?”

B grunted in disapproving and ‘Signal report’ way but Duke decided to buy some time and answer only questions that were actually asked. He slowly sat at the briefing table and looked at the man expectantly.

Lift chimed and moments later Tim and Cass went to Batcomputer and training mats respectively. Duke was, like, 80% sure they were there to eavesdrop. He knew them well enough. He knew them well enough.

“The girl”

“Izzy?” Was Duke annoying on purpose? Yes. He really didn’t want to have this talk. Like, at all. Psychological warfare it was “I mean, I know she is civilian and you don’t approve but at least she isn’t doing anything illegal, right? Like, you know, robbing museums or killing people?”

Bruce looked repulsed and Tim snorted.

“Low blow Narrows, low blow” Jason announced through speakers. He was slightly winded as if he just finished a fight “Good job kid”

“So you’re listening too, great” Duke muttered under his breath before louder he added “Is everyone who wants in on a show, here already?”

“Give me a sec- here Dick you’re going live now”

“Thanks Babs, you’re the best”

“I know. Donuts, you know which one”

“Of course. Glad we’re finally going to talk about Duke’s kid”

“Shut up, she is not my kid!”

“Steph ETA 2 minutes” Cass interrupted.

At least Damian didn’t show up- as if summoned by this thought Damian stomped down the stares, Alfred the Cat curled in his arms. Maybe others had a point, calling him Demon kid and stuff.

“What is an emergency?” he demanded and Duke decided to take what little relief he could from the fact that Bruce seemed equally defeated by sheer number of people around for this talk. 

“It seems like… oh, literally everyone lost an adoption bet” Babs explained. Huh, so Steph didn’t change her stance.

Damian looked genuinely terrified as he muttered “No” eyes darting between everyone present in silent calculation.

“Oh, shut up” Duke whined knowing all too well his stalling had to come to the end. Maybe it was wishful thinking but he almost heard roar of engine of Steph’s motorcycle. Her presence would be double edged sword but she would help him advocate for Dani and that was more important.

“Thomas, what have you done?!” if it was anyone other than Damian, Duke would call sound he made a whine. As it was, he preferred his entrails to stay inside and since the boy showed up, called by thought, the older boy preferred not to take risks.

“Nothing, Babs is overreacting”

“Don’t deny it. She went about it kinda Tim Lite style but it worked”

“I don’t even know her surname, where she stays or really, anything about her life outside of our patrols, how do you expect me to go about adoption?!”

“B knew even less about me when he decided, yes this tire thief is my new son!” Jason chimed in and Duke knew he was grinning despite voice modulator.

“What from my origin story was lost to make Lite version?”

“Identities weren't breached as far as we're aware. Just ‘came one day and refuses to leave’ part and some light stalking. She was smart about it, invisible, keeping out of sight and to the hot spots. Wouldn't find her if I didn't know she was there”

“She could still just not tell, I mean I knew for years before telling anyone…”

“There is no way. Believe me, she has no brain-mouth filter, I swear”

“But-”

“She introduced herself by her first name,” Duke deadpanned ”She told me civilian names of heroes from her hometown, in context that didn't require me to do any actual research to clue me. I did anyway. I don't think she even realized she did it. If she knew our identities we would know already”

There was a moment of silence as everyone digested the thought of just how gigantic breach Dani accidentally caused.

“Well, it's as good of a proof as we can get for now,” Babs bristled. 

“Who let her in on such secrets then?!” Damian sounded genuinely appalled and Duke wasn't too surprised.

Like on a cue, Steph stormed inside on her Spoiler in civies. Bruce looked about ready to get aneurysm. Duke was a bit glad that everyone was doing such good job in distraction department.

“IT’S OKAY, WHY? BECAUSE I AM HERE!” Steph yelled, jumping from before her vehicle fully stopped. She threw something small in general direction of Batcomputer “Timmy plug it in, I made a PowerPoint!”

Duke felt blood leave his face. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know what Steph put together but he probably didn't. Tim opened it anyways.

WHY HOOPOE IS ADORABLE&CHAOTIC BEAN AND SHOULD BE PART OF THE TEAM

The title slide said, one of the clearest photos of Dani from before she started wearing mask in the background. It was close-up of girl smiling, bits of brownie on her cheeks.

“Was this photo taken with a goddamn calculator?” Tim asked with disgust so clear Duke could taste it. Metaphorically of course.

“Nah, just body-cam. Her powers mess with technology a bit”

Tim still looked displeased at the craftsmanship.

“Don't worry, it's not  a bad photo. Baby Bird is just being perfectionist,” Dick placated.

Duke didn't realize that Damian froze until he unfroze and made his way to the screen, stopping less than one foot away from it. His movements were rigid, his face scrunched with distress. Alfred the Cat escaped its master probably due to hoe tense he was. Everyone in Cave quietened as soon as boy took first step and expecting mood had to run through microphones because nobody from the on-line crowd quipped in.

“This is the green of Lazarus” he whispered finally, sounding actually scared. Jason swore. Bruce and Cass visibly stiffened. Tim choked and he wasn't even drinking. Dick did his whinny breezy name saying thing when he wanted explanation and felt lightly betrayed. 

It was Duke's turn to freeze because… it wasn't. Of course he wasn't all that well versed in the Pit, less alone its color but he did bust quite a few trafficking rings with Jason and he saw his eyes afterwards all raging, toxic, neon green glory and it wasn't the same as Dani’s. As much as he liked English and how good he was at it, it failed him at simple task of describing the obvious difference between each other. He'd have more luck describing tastes with set of color samples from IKEA or something. And really, even if he tried he would lose the fight of competence with Damian. Who wouldn't.  But-

“There is no way she has any connection with LOA”

“Why is that?” Damian seemed to misinterpret it as challenge like he always did when emotions were running high. Duke took a deep breath. Well, it was a moment to use all of his diplomatic skills and speak in the language of the demons.

“I've seen her fight. She would be utter disgrace”

“It does not prove-”

“It does” Duke interrupted with the tone and mimic of person who saw too much because he did ”None of you have any say until you watch a tiny and I mean tiny ten year old tackle five Joker goons like it's a joke, by sheer virtue of super strength and intangibility-means-I-can-ignore-bullets-Signal-don’t-be-such-worrywart. She should get shot, like, three times at least. And she kept laughing!” he was low key wheezing at the end because even after all this time (a week) it was fucking horrifying. Bruce made a huff that meant he was laughing and put a hand on his shoulder as a sign of support. Dick's lighthearted laugh sang from the speakers.

“Don't worry Duke, it never gets better” B said with mirth.

He refused to elaborate whether he meant ‘kids keep jumping into danger like there is no tomorrow‘ or ‘it's equally terrifying every time’ and Duke decided to reflect on that sentiment later. It put some things into perspective. A lot of things if he was being honest.

Also, he was not ready for stuff like that to become even semi-normal occurrence. He was ready to give her all of his Alfred cookies if it could change anything. He knew it wouldn't. 

“Do you have any other evidence that your new acquaintance does not just fake being less experienced to make you lower your guard?” Damian asked warily.

“I had to teach her out of putting her thumb in her fist,” he deadpanned. Several people hissed in empathetic pain. Steph coughed to bring attention to where she stood in front of Batcomputer, other slide of her Power Point open. Duke recognised video from his body-cam.

“Exhibit A” she announced. She played a video with Dani’s first mugging attempt he witnessed. Let it be said, it was a disaster.

“Exhibit B '' One of Dani’s most epic fails at side-kick that ended with her falling face first to the ground.

“Exhibit C” Dani fumbled with zip-ties, looking at him utterly at loss.

“Exhibit D” the talk about her prior training.

“What’s was that sound?” Dick obviously on the verge of cooing when girl on video growled. Steph stopped video.

“Very angry kitten” Tim stated with soft smile.

“Honestly, furious girl” Cass corrected “She was really mad at you”

“Yeah, I know but promise of Alfred’s cookies was enough to placate her”

“You gave her Alfred’s cookies?!”

“She started by giving me a lot of food on a really shitty patrol, had to repay somehow”

“Was it from your share or-” Dick asked like it was most important thing in the world.

“Miss Hoopoe was added to my plans after she picked her new name” Alfred explained and shit, Duke really should get used to how man just appeared sometimes. Jumpscare the original.

“Alfred, you knew?” Bruce sounded so utterly betrayed.

“I have yet to meet her but I was informed about her presence about two weeks ago”

“He caught me printing mask for her”

“About that” Steph clapped and skipped her slide show “Look at thi clueless child with such horrible disguises and codename ideas” There was whole list of every name Dani wanted to try out and photo of her bare face.  Duke kinda repressed his memories of it. It was worse than he remembered.

“Did she really tried kenting that?”

“Got it after her cousin. He used his first name as part of his alias for almost half a year” Duke admitted in carefree tone, knowing it would cause a mess.

“Cousin?!” several people yelled in surprise.

“Caped cousin?!”

“Yup. Small time hero from Illinois. As far as I’m aware she’s alone in Gotham but they’re in regular contact and she has strong believe that he can and will help her if she used her panic button”

“Who in their right mind let’s kid alone in Gotham?!” Jason sounded about ready to strangle Phantom.

“He seems to be fifteen himself. And has anti-meta parents if I’m picking things up correctly. She didn’t mention them much. I highly doubt she has present parents at all, so…”

“What the hell Narrows.”

“I don’t know, it’s just a wild guess”

“Does it call for the rescue?” Steph asked eagerly.

“We’re not going to Illinois to rescue Phantom if he doesn’t ask for it. He has means to it” Bruce interrupted with bone deep sigh.

“How do you know I meant Phantom?” Duke perked up because he never mentioned this name.

“He is from Illinois, looks almost the same as far as I can tell from the photos and they share a lot of powers”

“I didn’t know you knew about random kid hero from other state?”

“He dropped by on few Justice League’s mission. There is still dispute whether we should approach him in his city or not. He was very clear on his opinion that we should stay away. I think we really shouldn’t”

“How you haven’t gone or sent anyone there yet?” Tim teased.

Bruce just stared at him then gestured at mountain of cases they were currently working on. Yes, they were printed. Apparently for man it made it easier to work on them like that.

“Can we focus back on untrained child you let join you on patrol, Duke?”

“You act like I could stop her from doing her own thing if I didn’t  let her. Plus, even though she doesn’t have combat training, she can handle herself well enough. And has this damn intangibility that makes her really hard to punch”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t tell anyone other than Alfred and Steph and I wanted to wait a bit before leaving her to the wolfs”

“The bet”

“Shut up Steph”

“When did you plan on letting us know?” Bruce ignored what blonde insinuated. Duke was utterly grateful for that, he knew he would get lecture for that later but he was more than happy to leave it be for now.

“Somewhen next week. I hoped to introduce her gradually but apparently everyone knew already?”

“Kids tell me things. Hoopoe made a good impression on them” Jason explained.

“Hero sightings on Twitter” Dick admitted without a shadow of shame.

“What he said” Tim agreed “This person from crochet dolls made one for your kid too, so in public eyes she’s our already”

“For the last time, she isn’t my kid!” Duke groaned but as always went ignored.

“Nobody expected old man’s tendencies to rub on you so fast, Narrows”

“Shut up and this is half a reason I didn’t let you meet her. All of you”

“With all due respect Duke” Babs started teasingly “You gave us ammo yourself. You improved her diet, you brought her to The Food Track Of Mental Breakdowns, you teach her stuff, you check in on her almost as often as her cousin and their friends do…”

“How did you hack her pho- No, wrong question, why?!”

“We’re all paranoid bastards, I needed to check out the newest bird. She legally doesn’t exist btw so I suspect some shady stuff with her birth but otherwise nothing sus about her. Comms and trackers for her are waiting in drawer C19. You will give it to her tomorrow”

“Aye, aye captain Oracle ma’am” he joked.

“Wait, you showed her The Food Track?”

“She deserved it” he gritted out.

Before this could turn into a fight or something, Alfred demanded:

“Since we are all on the same page now, I would like to extend an invitation for family dinner to miss Hoopoe”

“We’ll eat it down here in full costumes”

“As you wish master Bruce. Master Duke make sure to let her know”

“Of course Alfred”

And he planned to do that but Dani didn’t show up. He hadn’t thought much of it because she was unpredictable like that. She tended to disappear from the face of the Earth for a day or two and return with tales of her “autograph hunting trips”

But then she didn’t show up on the next patrol too. It was unprecedented. And she hadn’t responded to the check in. Three times in the row. He was getting kinda sick from the stress.

He knew Dani well enough, she wouldn’t ghost him like that and in Gotham disappearing meant three things: getting kidnapped, trafficked or six feet under. To their knowledge, Dani didn’t have anyone who would pay ransom for her other than Signal and no demands were made so the first option was out.

Bats launched full fledged search.

Duke himself found and busted two trafficking rings in three weeks which was around how much he did in two months on a daily basis.

Thanks to Oracle, they found Dani’s utterly crashed phone in the dead end in the Narrows. It didn’t look any better.

Duke really hoped they wouldn’t be too late.

With each day it seemed more likely.

********

Bruce: *wants to have private conversation with his son about unknown child he's been working with*

All of the Batfam: Hello there

Duke: I managed to keep Dani secret my family of detectives!

Everyone other than Bruce: I knew for past two weeks, but goood job kid

Random o Twitter: I'm sooo disappointed with Signal for letting Hoopoe fight crime. She is just a little child, she shouldn't have to witness Gotham's worst

Other Random: Have you heard about Robin????? Have you seen teories that Signal is teenager???? With proofs????? Are you mad at child for not taking proper care of the other child????? That's messed up my dude/gal

Yell at Batman

Signal: You act like she isn't personification of feral cat I try to coax home so I can prevent her from getting in trouble. I dare you to try and stop her

Phantom: I do too, 100$ if you manage. It would save me from so much stress

Random: Now, who the f*ck are you?!

(Guess who never touched Twitter with 20 meters stick in her life)

Next part

Tag list: @pickleking8 @mynameisnotlaura

[goosewriting]

Hey I loved your baby from the future series, and was wondering if you could do mikey?? no rush tho! I love your writing style btw!

🦆 anon @duckanon

All them bebes! 🥺 (rottmnt Mikey x reader)

summary: several turtle babies suddenly appear in the lair, and they look suspiciously a lot like Mikey

relationship: Rise!Mikey x GN reader

warnings: none

word count: 2.2k 

A/N: here we go with the grand finale ✨ (welcome duckanon btw!) this one was by far the hardest to write of the four, so i really hope you like it! ♥ i had gotten an ask for mikey’s part for a reader that has been alone almost all their life and accepted that they’d never be a parent even though they really wanted to, so i incorporated that, thanks for the idea!

More “Baby 🥺” versions: Leo | Raph | Donnie | Mikey (you're here)

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

On a rainy Saturday afternoon, there wasn‘t a lot to do, so you decided to spend the day at the lair with your favourite turtle. You were in Mikey‘s room, with him lying on his belly on the bed, and you at his desk. Art supplies were scattered all around the place, and you both listened to some lo-fi while very focused on the masterpieces you were crafting.

Suddenly, there was a series of zapping sounds behind you. Confused, and slightly startled, you turned around on the squeaky office chair you were sat in, and saw some yellow flickering lights above the floor, of which a turtle tot came crawling out. Before you could even process what you were seeing, the lights disappeared, and there was a new flash of yellow a couple of feet to the side. With another turtle baby. Your eyes quickly shot up in Mikey’s direction, just to make sure that he was aware of this too and you weren’t just imagining things. To your partial relief, he looked just as shocked as you.

You didn’t even get to push yourself off the chair to stand up, as you were planning to, when the new wave of zapping lights appeared above you, and you looked up in horror. Out of thin air appeared yet another turtle baby, falling into your lap. You caught it with a squeal of surprise, which was reciprocated by a gleeful one coming from the baby.

One last zap, on the bed this time, accompanied by not one but two turtles, and then the flickering lights disappeared entirely, leaving you and Mikey very confused, as you were suddenly surrounded by five little turtle lots, all stumbling as they tried to stand up on short, wobbly legs. They all looked around curiously, the one on your lap looked slightly lost, even. But when you looked at the pair on the bed, you immediately recognised two little faces ready to cause some mischief.

However the two tots skillfully manoeuvred over the bunched up blankets to reach Mikey, cooing at him and climbing into his lap, as he was trying to stand up from the bed. Of the two turtles that had appeared on the floor, one waddled towards you, holding onto your leg and squishing its cheek against your knee once it reached you, while the other swiftly made its way to Mikey, making grabby hands at him and asking to be picked up. 

In your stupor and inability to speak, you intently took in the scene. They all had yellow splotches like Mikey, and were very freckly, the one in your lap having the most. They all had one thing in common though: all five were absolutely adorable. 

Seeing that the turtles on Mikey’s lap were in essence the spitting image of the few baby photos you had seen of your boyfriend, you smiled to yourself.

“If i didn't know any better I'd say they're your kids,” you told Mikey, looking at the little turtle in your lap and smiling widely, to which it cooed and waved at you. “They look just like you!”

“We have to get Donnie here asap,” Mikey said instead, ignoring your comment for the time being, although the faintest of blushes on his cheeks did not go unnoticed by you. He somehow managed to pry himself free of the three little turtles on him, leaving them on the bed instead, three pairs of curious eyes looking after him as he left to get his brother. After he was gone from view, all three heads turned towards you in comical synchrony. 

“So…” you started, picking up the second baby into your lap that had been pulling on your trousers impatiently. “Where are your parents?” 

Wow, look at you, trying to make conversation with a bunch of kids, you thought to yourself. Except that they all pointed at you without hesitation. 

Wait what? 

As you were trying to make sense of this, let’s be honest, pretty ridiculous situation, the pair of turtles that came in together started to get rowdy. If you had to guess you’d have said they’re the only pair of twins out of the five, with how they were always clinging to each other and even the splotches on their arms and faces seemed to be mostly identical. You weren’t sure what they were fighting about, but the pushes started getting stronger and their voices louder as well. You tried to calm them down but they were not listening, and you couldn't exactly get up, as the turtle you had picked up was trying to climb onto your head, pulling at your shirt. 

Before you were able to stop them, one of the twins pushed the other off the bed, and he fell to the floor with a slight clunk. You held your breath for a second, hoping he’d walk it off, but he started crying. With a deep sigh and an “alright” that was directed more towards yourself than the turtles, you got up and brought everyone to the bed, sitting down yourself as well. You picked up the crying turtle, bringing him into your lap, and you gently rubbed his head where he hit the floor. 

“There, there,” you cooed, giving him a little kiss, and that seemed to do the trick as he calmed down immediately. The other turtles protested, trying to climb into your lap as well; they all wanted kisses.

You chuckled at the sight, feeling like a horde of puppies was about to overwhelm you. You gave kisses left and right, trying your best to get everyone an equal amount. Just as the twins had finally calmed down and were about to doze off, tightly holding onto your arm and each other, Mikey appeared again at the door, Donnie behind him. 

The purple-clad turtle took one hard look, stopping in his tracks, taking in the scene before him. Mikey gave him a friendly slap on his shoulder to encourage him to go in there and do the thing.

With a sigh and an unreadable expression, Donnie approached you and started scanning the turtles with a handheld device of sorts. The turtles were silent but curious, following his movements with interest, and so did you. 

Then, Donnie proceeded to scan you, and then Mikey. The device calculated something, and his wrist brace beeped, showing a result in text hovering over his arm, so you were able to read it from where you were sitting.

“Congrats” Donnie first deadpanned, placing a hand on Mikey's shoulder. But then a slightly amused smirk appeared on his face. “You two made me an uncle.”

“What?!” you and Mikey said in unison, shocked, looking at his wrist again. The text read: “99.88% DNA match”.

“I'll be in the lab trying to figure out how to get them back into their timeline,” Donnie remarked, leaving the room as if he didn’t just say that you were surrounded by your turtle kids from the future. 

You were holding the twins in your arms, and another that had gotten behind you was leaning against your back, tiny head pressed between your shoulders; all three were about to fall asleep. The other two turtles were on either side of you, looking up at Mikey and asking to be picked up by him when he approached you. He took one into each arm and took a long look at each with a smile. His gaze shot up to you when he suddenly heard you sniffling.  

“Whoa, you okay?” Mikey asked worriedly.

“Yeah, I'm just... Trying to process this,” you replied, unable to wipe away your tears as your arms and hands were currently cradling the turtles, so the tears freely rolled down your cheeks and fell onto your shirt.

“That we get kids at some point?” Mikey asked, almost sheepishly. You slowly nodded your head, but it turned into shaking, as it wasn’t just that. 

“More like… That I have a family at all,” you admitted. “One of my own.”

One of the turtles in your lap stirred and his little hand reached yours, holding onto your index finger. Now you were trying to hold back sobs so as to not wake them up, but you were unsuccessful. The twins blinked a couple of times, then looked up at you with a slight frown. Even the two in Mikey’s arms looked all worried that you were in distress. 

Suddenly all five turtle babies started humming. At first it was a little desynchronised, but it quickly turned into a lullaby melody, one you hadn't heard in a very long time. This made you cry even harder, and Mikey sat down on the bed, so that all five turtles could hold onto you. 

You smiled through your tears at the whole situation; they were comforting you when really it should be the other way around. Even Mikey’s hand was gently rubbing up and down your back, his brows furrowed together, trying to come up with something to say. He knew you had been alone most of your life, but he loved you so much and wanted to give you the world because you deserved it and more; it hurt him to see you thinking you couldn’t have a family of your own. 

By now the song was over, and the babies just held tightly onto you. Mikey opened his mouth to say something, when a comically loud grumble filled the room for an embarrassingly long time. You laughed, finally able to get one arm free, and brought it up to rub over your face with the back of your sleeve.

“Was that the tots or you, Mikey?” you asked with a chuckle.

“I think that was all of us,” he replied, and five little heads nodded in agreement. “How about some food, then?” They all squealed in glee, starting to climb off the bed and running around. 

To keep them apart, you decided to put stickers on their shells, like Mikey had on his plastron. They all got to choose the one they liked best, and after they were marked, the whole group took off to the kitchen.

Mikey quickly whipped up something safe for the little turtles to eat, and make food for you and himself as well. After you were all full, you went back to Mikey's room and decided to make a nap pile on his bed. 

Unable to sleep, while the rest was happily snoozing, you got up and started gathering some crayons and pencils into a box so the turtles could draw after they woke up. 

Suddenly there was that zap again, and you turned around in shock, hoping that there weren't more little tots to take care of until Donnie figured out something, but you were frozen in place as this swirl of lights was far bigger than the others you had seen. Who, or what would come in through there?!

Your mouth hung slightly agape in disbelief when an older version of none other than Mikey came hopping into your timeline, looking around until his gaze met yours. That's when behind him came another figure, and it was Leo, except that he was way taller (oh he’d love to have a growth spurt like that for sure), and he had a… mechanical arm? Just what was going on?!

This Leo first saw the nap pile and went “aww, look at them” but the older Mikey quickly shushed him. Then he turned to you with a gentle smile, his orange cloak swooshing around his ankles.

“Let's not wake them up,” he explained. “The less Mikey versions everyone sees, the better. Especially the kids.”

“Are you here to… pick them up?” you asked, unsure if you were relieved that the babies would go back to where they belonged, or sad because you wanted to spend some more time with them.

Mikey nodded with a warm smile, and held your hand. Meanwhile Leo started carefully picking up the babies from the bed. In his big arms they suddenly looked so much smaller and frail. You felt a light squeeze to your hand, so you brought your eyes back to Mikey.

“I wish the surprise hadn’t been spoiled but,” he said, leaning in and placing a soft kiss to your forehead. “It’s quite the roller-coaster. Look forward to it.”

“I already am,” you admit, holding onto his hand for one more moment, then letting go so they could leave.

Leo gave you a knowing nod with his head and an encouraging smile as he stepped through the portal. Mikey turned around one last time before leaving, shooting you a wink, which you responded by playfully sticking your tongue out at him, as you would usually do. 

The lights flickered for a second, and then they were gone, leaving you standing alone in the dark room. Wiping over your face one last time to dry the remaining tears, you climbed into the bed with a sigh, and it felt much too big and empty now. You scooted closer to Mikey and he instinctively wrapped his arms around you, planting a sleepy kiss on your forehead. You sniffled into his plastron, trying your hardest to calm down and not wake him up.

Eventually, Mikey's steady breaths started lulling you to sleep, and as your eyes finally closed, you hoped to dream with five little turtles.

~~~~~

🐥 taglist: [more info in my pinned post!] @Hearteyedracoon, @maribatshipper, @whygz, @xnorthstar3x, @theoriginalmintyyyshake, @dybynyght, @galaxtic-writings, @Lovestruckfictionadict, @salty-s-r, @lieutenantlashfaz, @sleebykei, @spacelesbianfanclub, @snipersiniora, @je-m-appelle-yam, @lunar-lover1, @normal-internet-user, @sleepyomeowers

[dropthedemiurge]

Love for Love's Sake | Things You Didn't Notice #4 | Fight with Homophobes

Honestly, I wanted to dissect these scenes right away but then we got the rest of the show uploaded and the emotions overshadowed me. But now we're diving into informal Korean speech, swearing and slurs! It's going to be a fun post, let's go :D

Disclaimer: I'll be writing down both English and Korean slurs strictly in educational manner, obviously.

"Fuck. You two are always so fucking close together. (to Myungha) Are you also a faggot (homosekki)? Wow, Kyunghyun's skills are so good." "Why are you so vulgar? What's wrong with being homo?" "You're really crazy. Are you criticizing me?" ... (Myungha kisses Tak Junho) " Ah fu— You damn faggot!" "We both kissed. I'm not the only one who's homo. You're homo too~" "You did it yourself, you faggot!" "Ah, our Junho keeps saying 'homo'. Tss, slurs are forbidden." "Shut up, you faggot." "If you call me homo one more time, I can steal your lips for real. (Junho is silent) Ha, afraid you'll be robbed?"

Honestly, I like the translation in subs this time, I just wanted to give you a more technical version (and to show you the difference, because in Gaga subs the f slur is also used by Myungha but it's not exactly that)

So, as far as I noticed, the slur in Korean is a derivative from the term "homosexual" - thanks to the similar sounding, it became "homosekki" (from sekki - asshole, bastard, bitch etc). This is the word Junho keeps using in almost every sentence. And the socially accepted common term is now "gay" (at least, the cast and couple from Korean reality dating show "His Man 2" refers to themselves as 'gay' and not 'homo').

Myungha uses the original term, just "homo", which also gained a negative connotation but doesn't include a 'sekki' swearword. So he keeps saying "homo" to talk back in the language Junho used, only less derogatory. We'll see later but it's amazing, because both Myungha and Sangwon confidently used this word about themselves (Sangwon even went further and proudly reclaimed the slur itself).

Still, Myungha did threaten gangster Junho not to even call him "homo" or any similar terms. And here's the moment which made me laugh: in the next scene with Sangwon, Junho was angry ranting about Myungha, but he caught himself using the slur "homosekki" and quickly changed to the modern and neutral term "gay". LOL

Which is what Gaga subs failed to show it to us. Again, let's see more technical translation:

"I'll go after Tae Myungha and Ahn Kyunghoon soon, just so you know. Those fa– Those gay bastards must die. That fucker Tae Myungha kissed me in the lips, shit. Isn't it fucked up? It was disgusting." (Sangwon, pouting) "Wow, really? It must've been nice." "Jeez, you asshole. You're not a victim so you dare talking shit." "I'm being serious, though?" (Junho, appalled) "What the hell are you talking about? You're not a faggot." "I am a faggot, though?"

One, why is it so funny that the first reaction Sangwon had, hearing about Myungha kissing someone in a fight, was: awww :( i wish it was me :((( you so lucky :((

Second, it's hilarious how the gangster ends up the ONLY person who ever uses nice and modern term "gay" once in this show because our protagonists both hit him back with the derogatory terms (Sangwon even attached the slur to himself, when he only liked girls before falling in love with Myungha at first sight, what a legend).

Let's wrap it up with slurs and check out another small detail: informal speech in Korean.

(Sangwon to Myungha)"Why would we fight here?" (Yeowoon to Sangwon)"Hey, watch your tone (don't use informal speech)" "Was I talking like that with you?" "Talk curt (informally) only with me." "I'm already being curt (talking informally) with you."

This one is definitely a cultural thing that always gets lost in translation (but "being curt" is a nice way of putting it). There are two general styles of speech in Korean: Formal (존댓말, jondemal) and Informal (반말, banmal). Of course, it's a lot more complicated in the language, but I'll paint briefly the differences that are pointed out in the scene.

I talked in previous posts about properly addressing your senior in korean (usually by title/position). To convey respect to your senior, you also use 요 (yo) at the end of the sentences – and both Sangwon and Yeowoon talk politely to Myungha. UNTIL Sangwon uses the rude version of a question, without polite ending ("Why would we fight here?"), to which Yeowoon protests and tells Sangwon that it's banmal, informal speech, and he should only use it with him.

Because with your friends, same age people (Yeowoon and Sangwon in this case) or people younger than you, it's normal to use their names with different intonations (Think Myungha's "Yeowoon-ah, Yeowoon-ie") and talk informally.

(Yeowoon to Myungha) "I asked who it was." "You're being curt (that's an informal speech)".

Fast forward – Yeowoon loses patience and demands Myungha "I asked who it was", question without polite ending as well. To which Myungha cheekily says "that was an informal speech", reminding Yeowoon of his own remark to Sangwon.

Fast forward again – and now I have to take back my previous statement from another post that Yeowoon never called Myungha by his name because I found the rare case of him doing it xD

"Tae Myungha is so frustrating." "You're speaking informally more often these days."

Again, a youngster! calling his senior! by his own name! Not using the polite ending! The horrors of informal speech. He's not being too rude but he's sulking therefore he's rebelling. Though I can swear, again, Yeowoon hears Myungha's scolding and resorts back to speaking politely, and from now on, he'll keep using 'senior'.

If you survived until the end of this post, congratulations! The second half probably wasn't needed but in case you're learning Korean or you want to know why these seemingly normal phrases are being considered "curt" out of nowhere, I hope you understand it now a little bit better :)

// Previous messages translation + other language moments here //

[itsmattchou]

like sweet chocolate ice cream !

pairing: seventeen hyung line x gn!reader warnings: profanity, food mention in juns section, tiger agenda, english isn't my first language!!! genre: fluff synopsis: just cute things the boys do in a relationship notes: part 2 after my first post already got a lot of attention. almost 30 likes on a new account with my first post? thank you so much holy🫶🫶 this is probably my last svt post for now though! but if you're interested in zb1 stuff you might wanna follow hehe

maknae line version

seungcheol - spoils you. seungcheols mission in life is simple: spoiling you rotten. whenever he goes on tour and gets to see other parts of the world, he enters stores solely to find souvenirs for him to bring home to you. whenever he sees something that you might like or something that would look good on you- he buys it. his way of money management basically is only necessities for him, everything for you. but don't worry, he knows money isn't a way to show love, but he still adores you so much that he can't help it. doesn't even care when you tell him that a lil smooch is enough for you. he gives lil smooches AND gifts.

jeonghan -  obviously favors you. he may look like an angel, but you find out soon enough that he actually isn't one. at all. a little devil that enjoys cheating during games and teasing others. but you've got him wrapped around your finger. a simple "han, stop pls" from your side turns him back into an angel. you so obviously get the partner privilege that his members can't help but feel a bit jealous at times: "hyung can you bring me some water?" no he can't. but once you ask him to bring you some water he's already rummaging through the kitchen. he still teases you from time to time- he's still jeonghan, what did you expect?- but it's noticeably less severe as with his members.

joshua - buys you flowers. he very much strikes me as a flower kind of guy. he thinks flowers are gorgeous, but so are you- so he gets the pretty things for his pretty partner. you get me? he also knows that this is cheesy and kind of basic, but he enjoys just gifting you all kinds of flower bouquets to you. he just likes the traditional stuff. as soon as he sees the flowers he gave you recently wilting he's already on his way to the flower shop he's a regular in. the cashier there is incredibly jealous of you.

junhui - prepares breakfast for you. so we all know how jun used to prepare breakfast for the younger members back in the trainee days because he had trouble communicating with them in korean? yeah. jun doesn't have any trouble communicating with you now but he still enjoys preparing your breakfast whenever you spent the night together at his house or yours (or just your shared home bro idk). it's his way to 1) make sure you eat something good and 2) show his appreciation for you. when he first started this habit his meals were pretty basic but not bad. by now his cooking skills improved immensely (shoutout to mingyu).

soonyoung - buys matching items for you two. soonyoungs favorite past time activity is loving you, and he just,,, likes to show it off to everyone else. so prepare for some matching tshirts like "i love my tiger" & "i'm the tiger" (the tiger agenda never ends). as long as it's cheesy, it's perfect for him. soonyoung's bold and so is his love for you. he's not only limited to clothing articles however! matching plushies (tigers), matching mugs, matching phone cases, matching toilet paper (???), everything! he's down bad horrendously holy shit

wonwoo - links your pinkies. wonwoo is a really reserved guy, and so is his way of showing affection. he isn't one for pda and prefers to shower you with affection when it's only the two of you. however, he is definitely in for some hand holding in public. it's subtle, but he can feel you this way and he knows you won't get lost if he's holding onto you. but that one time you randomly linked your pinky with him changed everything; wonwoo became obsessed with it. he finds it absolutely adorable. so now he's always linking pinkies rather than holding your hand, no matter where and when. he enjoys the closeness he feels to you through it.

jihoon - writes songs for you/based on you. yes yes i know, it's basic (but true). his love language is music and his way to truly express himself and his feelings. so there it goes, he produces songs inspired by you and for you for any special occasion. your birthday? here's a song. your anniversary? here's a song. he likes to combine the two things he loves more than anything: music and you. he writes lyrics with you in mind- and if he wants to write another heart breaking song? he'll just imagine you breaking up with him. that's enough pain for him to write another masterpiece.

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog: Wakfu Season 1 (episodes 21-26)

Episode 21 - Igol

This is a big episode because this is where we get the "Adamai knows stasis magic" lore drop that is never elaborated on, or mentioned altogether.

Episode 22 - Rubilax

Someday, someone will complete a translation of the Dofus manga in russian or english and I'll finally learn what's the deal with this man and why he died and got better and how crazy his doomed yaoi with his dead dragon husband gets.

Heartbreakingly, this day is not yet here.

[Kerubim and Goultard crying together over a drink, begin talking at the same time] I miss my dead wife, Goulatrd/Kerubim. I miss her/him a lot.

Big lore: Sleep masks exist in this universe.

Episode 23 - The Quest for the Dofus

He'll get it eventually. I did.

Episode 24 - Reunion

I love their family so much, I wish they could be happy. But every time something changes, it's far too late... It is tragically realistic, I suppose.

I don't know why, but this is such a pretty frame... The soft morning light, the dim room, the plants the glowing mushrooms...

Also, rare moment to take in what the guest rooms look like at the Sadida castle!

This episode (and at least one past episode) has quite a bit of ciphered text that I haven't been translating because I'm evil. Sorry. It's not the same script as the texts in Aux Tresors, despite the similarities, so you'll have to resort to google, or to decoding it yourself. You could start with the fact that this presumably says "Arbe de vie"

Episode 25 - I Am A Legend

Stasis mention 🔥🔥🔥

This whole scene always makes me tear up. I am actually insane and crazed every time I rewatch the last two episodes.

Your insane Joris trivia of the day is that this scene was changed between various airings/versions of Wakfu. For some mysterious reason. Here's a comparison:

I prefer the old version because.... [blushes] [kicks legs] [twiddles with my hair] HES SO PRETTY—- But also besides me being insane and in love with him, it just seems to have better composition and flow, imo.

My theories for why he was late:

He was sent to get reinforcements from other countries, or call for help. Though it is unlikely that many other kingdoms responded, given how little people care about Sadida (the most likely, normal, and realistic explanation)

He went together with the army of Sadida and the king to fight the war and ran all the way here using his insane speed (the second most likely, normal, and realistic explanation)

He overslept

He got lost

He was busy, man...

He was writing a letter to Keke and Atch about how he beat the shit out of some sadida guards and two girls clapped and cheered and lost track of time.

This exchange has always been so funny to me for some reason.

"What is the situation" He says,, while a giant mecha is about to kill what likely amounts to one-twelfth of the world's population.

I have talked about it a lot, but I am so deeply unwell about how cold he is. A girl lost her lover and is crying inconsolably, and he's not really paying that attention. One twelfth of the world population is about to die, and he won't show an ounce of discomfort or horror or grief.

Obviously he doesn't like it, but showing any weakness is out of the question.

More people have died from Ogrest, and she's like, the 60th girl on a battlefield on his memory to be crying after losing someone.

There are no unsolvable issues in this world.

I need to study him like a bug.

Episode 26 - Mount Zinit

Standing so prettily...

I think one of Joris's core "insanity and depression prevention" life philosophies is that, if he is not present at a battle, and can not physically be present, then he's not to blame for any horrible thing that happens.

I think this philosophy works almost never to quell his feelings of unease, and right now he is calculating 132924 ways he could have gotten here faster and just how much it would fix things.

(guy who runs a blog about pointing out obvious things Joris does voice) There's a very subtle expression change here. He starts looking intently as Amalia proposes going to help Yugo and Adamai. He was going to do this. However, the second he hears her yell "no", his expression changes once more.

We don't see whether he rushes to aid Eva in any way after she collapses from grief, but I will be honest — he would never do that.

Even if he has a pre-established good relationship with her. He just can't do that. He probably stands there awkwardly, in that same exact place, and feels very bad the entire time — because he can neither comfort Eva (they're practically strangers, he hesitated far too long, he'll make things worse—), nor go help Yugo (he can't just leave Eva and Ruel alone... What if more enemies appear? Or what if they think he abandoned them amidst grief? And would he even be useful?)

I think standing next to inconsolable people is Joris's personal hell.

I am insane.

I think one of the reasons Wakfu season 1 is so memorable, and so effective, is that there is no glorious pay off.

Yugo has a heroic moment of friendship overpowering everything — and then, after a second of being scared, Nox overtakes him. Nox wins. And that win is a mere 20 minutes. And for what? Pinpin is still dead. Everyone he killed is still dead.

Yugo doesn't get a glorious win, or his friend back. There is no epic swell of music. Just something quiet, foreboding, and truly meaningless.

OMG HI.

Your daily reminder that canonically, Eva is an amazing artist.

💀

Once again, Sadida Kingdom and Bonta have a very good relationship. Besties who hoard magical nukes together stay together.

[daydream-with-twist]

Yandere Jason Todd x female reader

Okay so I like to say that sorry if I do have some bed English lol 💀 and this is my first time ever posting something like this in a way

So I hope you enjoy this yandere version of Jason Todd aka red hood 

Warning : Yandere behaviour

Homeless and all alone, you wandered the streets of Gotham City for days, hungry and starving. your parents had abandoned you and You had lost everything, and you had nobody. As you walked, you were overcome with a sense of dread and hopelessness everyday. You were alone in this cruel world, 

One day You were walking through the alleyway, darkness shrouded the night sky. It was dark on the city streets, and you were tired and hungry. Out of being so exhausted you collapsed to the ground, You were in a terrible condition. and you were too weak to even attempt to get yourself back up again. Your strength had been sapped from your limbs, your mind clouded by a haze of desperation.

Suddenly, a mysterious figure came out of nowhere. You looked up to see who it was. It was a man And he was looking at you. His eyes were a little wide as he looked down at you. He had black hair and beautiful blue eyes. He looked at you like he recognised you? He was blushing a little and his eyes were sparkling looking at you in all awe. He knows something but he didn’t say anything about that as he slowly started to speak to you kneeling down in front of you

“Hey… I’m here to help okay? Don’t worry I’ll not hurt you” he said quietly in a soft tone, as he gently picked you up from the floor carrying you up in bridal style

You didn’t stop the man as you were too weak and vulnerable to speak or do anything as your vision got more blurry then you closed your eyes. You hoped that by the time you woke up you were somewhere safe..

Couple hours later, you felt the sun hit your face. You felt calm and comfortable, you felt at peace. You felt safe then you slowly started to open your eyes. You were still weak and couldn’t move your body much but you didn’t feel much pain anymore. You noticed that you were put on a comfortable bed.. You gazed around the room then you remembered last night. you were overcome with a sense of dread again as you tried to get up from the bed

Then you heard the door open of the bedroom as you quickly looked to see who it was. It was that man from last night. He walked in as he was holding some food in his hands he noticed that you were a wake as he approached you smiling

“Hey good morning..” he said, as he sat beside the bed looking at you with a soft expression. “Did you sleep well?” He added

You didn’t say anything as you avoided his gaze. Not sure on what to say as you felt nervous 

He noticed that you were nervous and avoiding his gaze he slowly moved towards you not too close to get you scared as he started to speak again “hey.. is okay I’m not going to hurt you.. I have no intention of hurting you” he said softly “please just trust me..” he added

As he moved the food close to you

you saw that it was pancakes French fries and ramen 

“Sorry this is like… all I have in my kitchen” he said chuckling a little feeling a little embarrassed about it looking to the side 

You looked at the food then back at him as you can’t help but blush and smile a little. Your eyes started to sparkle a little too as you said

“Um... thank you so much” you said quietly, you couldn’t stop blushing, you felt happy that you finally had something to eat.

“No problem! It is my pleasure to help out!” He said, almost in an excited tone. “Go on, eat!” He added

You started to eat, enjoying your food. This act of kindness was making your heart happy and warming your heart. As you were eating you did your best to not let out a single tear as you were overwhelmed with joy of having something for your stomach to eat and how this man was being sweet to you. 

You started to trust him a little…

He watched you eat with a smile on his face, his eyes filled with joy still sparkling. He looked away from time to time to not make you feel uncomfortable or anything. As you were done eating finishing it all he looked at you and said

“You should take a shower.. you will get cleaned up and it will make you feel way better!” He said, as he pointed his finger at the bathroom door. He then himself got up and said “I’ll bring my clothes for you. They are a little big but.. they will do for now”

You smile and nod at him starting to enjoy his company even though you still feel a little awkward 

He then walks towards the door then quickly stops as he looks back at you quickly and said “OH MY GOD! I totally forgot to introduce myself” he said, letting out an embarrassed chuckle “my name is Jason Todd by the way..”

“My name is y/n..” you said, looking back at him with a soft smile

“That’s a beautiful name..” he said, looking at you one last time as he walked off towards his room. He came back quickly holding his clothes 

“here..” he said, handing it to you.

You got up and held his clothes he gave you. As you walked towards the bathroom door. As you were about to open the door you stopped and felt somewhat scared..?

“What if he is trying to kill me?..” you thought to yourself, as fear gets to your head. “What if he is being kind so he can hurt me!?…” you thought again thinking about the worst scenarios

Jason immediately notices that you aren’t going to the bathroom and walks towards you and says “what’s wrong y/n?… is everything okay?” He said, looking worried.

You take steps back away from him. You quickly gaze down at his hands to see if he is holding a knife or not. 

He wasn’t holding anything…

Jason notices your body language and the way you are acting. He now has a idea on why you are acting this way

“Hey is okay.. like i said before I have no intentions of hurting you” he said softly in a comforting tone, “I just want to protect you y/n…” he said, looking at you with caring eyes.

You look at him not sure if you should believe him or not.. but then he started to back away towards the door

“Look you can lock the door y/n..” he said smiling softly at you, as he opened the door to leave “please don’t be afraid.. i just want you to be safe” he added, as he leaves the room.

You slowly walk towards the door and lock it. As you do that you can hear Jason say

“Please Let me protect you y/n..” he said in a sweet yet  serious tone,

You couldn’t help but blush at his words. He seemed so honest and so real..

It's like you can actually trust him…

You were getting this fuzzy feeling in your heart, for once you felt comforted again after everything you've been through. You've been yearning for this feeling for days,weeks,months!

You leaned over the door and said “thank you....” in a shy quiet voice, hoping that he heard you.

He also couldn’t help but blush a little upon hearing that. As you tried your best to show your gratitude there

You walked towards the bathroom door opening it as you get in to shower

Jason can hear the door opening and closing. And he couldn’t help but smile more because he was winning your trust in him

He walked back to his room shutting the door behind him then Leaning against it, he couldn't help but smile to the point where it was hurting his cheeks. "I think I'm in heaven.." he thought to himself

"This woman… this girl… is the same girl as in my dreams every single night” His eyes were sparkling with joy as he stared up at the ceiling. "I thought she was just part of my imagination.. just in my dreams…" he thought. "But I'm so glad to be wrong. She's real!"

"And she's at my apartment.." he thought, his heart beating fast. "I'll keep her safe and protected no matter what..”

“I'll take things slow with her.. but I'll make her see that I'm the only one for her and no one else will have her. She'll be mine just like in my dreams.. She won't be able to leave me, ever."

To be continued..

[hkevisvlsvso]

Guys I think I just wrote a really short part of some Deon fanfic...

It's like in s2 e12 the scene when Leon comes to the landfill(I have no idea what is it called really in the english dub version so..) and... u know.

Because i just realised that Deniz looks so sad when Leon comes while everyone else looked just angry 😭

The way how Deniz stares at that book like he knows Leon is going to leave him and the whole team but thinks that if he doesn't see it and just focuses on the book, mabye it won't really happen....

BUT, here it is. I'm really bad at english so i hope you understand it😅😅

[(Almost) all the lines were from the finnish dub, idk if it's the same in other languages but mabye it's okay....]

------------------------☆☆☆------------------------

I look up from the book when I hear footsteps approaching. Leon walks to the landfill looking far too casual. Traitor. A little hope flutters inside me. However, it slows down as soon as Vanessa says:

- Well, who's that? Came to tell us about your big ad campaign?

If Leon was going to apologize, he wouldn't do it after that. I press my gaze to the book and try to focus on the ancient Greek numerical codes. I want to shut out everything around me. I just want to squeeze my eyes shut, and when I open them, Leon comes beside me on the rusty roof of the car and wraps his arms around my neck and gives me something else to think about and figures out a way to get Teufelstopf back and all is well again.

No.

When I open my eyes, I'm still staring at the much too small and monotonous text of the book. Leon snorts.

- actually, I came to apologize for being so busy these days, but if you're like that, I guess it's better that I don't come at all anymore. Ever.

He doesn't know how much his cold voice breaks my heart. But I can be cold too. And I have that right. He is leaving the bunch. I stand up on the roof of the car. Leon has already turned to leave when I say:

- That's what I said too. We can do without a captain like that.

My words feel like a heavy lump on my chest, and a few more pounds are added to that lump when I realize I'm right. Leon was always the one who insisted that no one should ever leave the team. He loved football and the team more than anything in this world, as did I, and that was probably part of the reason I fell for him. But now he is leaving Teufelstopf, the Wild Soccer Bunch, us, me, for fame. I didn't think that he would be the one who leaves the team.

When Leon hears my words, something disappears in his eyes, something inexplicable. At least I think I see it. Or I hope. Or at least I want to.

He doesn't even say anything. Anger and disappointment bubble up inside me. I jumped down from the car. The thump of my feet againstthe ground makes Leon quickly turn towards me. I look at him. At the moment, I would like to just hug him on the one hand, and hit him on the other hand. I clench my hands into fists.

- I fucking koved you, I say way more toxic than i meant to. Though mabye it's just a good thing. I don't know.

I let all the pent-up sadness and frustration come out of my voice because I want him to know I'm serious. I say it so quietly that no one else can hear it, even though I want to scream it into his ear. On the other hand, I probably couldn't make a louder sound than this, almost a whisper, from the stranglehold of grief. Leon looks me in the eyes and for a few moments I may notice sadness in his eyes. Almost as crushing as my grief. Then he just closes his eyes, turns around and leaves. Up until now, I have felt that everything will be alright. But now I know that I don't have Leon anymore, everything is lost.

------------------------☆☆☆------------------------

It was kinda google translator english but hope you liked it.. I'm not sure if i do?

[dark-frosted-heart]

Book of Memories ~ Chevalier and Licht ~ Part 2

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. The translation for the flashback in the beginning is taken directly from the English version of Licht’s route.

tw: depression, suicidal thoughts

~~ Flashback ~~

Twin’s Mother: If you won’t kill each other, then I’ll kill one of you myself!

Nokto: Ahh—

Licht: No! NO!! Mama, stop! Please…please don’t kill Nokto!!

~~ End flashback ~~

Ever since that incident, one of the twins, who smiled and cried a lot, had lost his emotions.

He was emotionless regardless of what he did, never laughing or crying, or getting mad or sad.

However— “Something” he had witnessed caused the emotionless prince to change.

~~ Flashback ~~

Licht: Ah…

Clavis: What is it, Licht? Do you want to join me in bringing Chevalier down? I’m doing some sword training with Chevalier…

Licht: Ah…

Clavis: Hm? You look pale.

Licht: Ahhhhh!

Clavis: Licht?! Hey, calm down! Are you…hyperventilating? Chevalier, take a look at him—

Chevalier: …

Clavis: Hey, where are you going?

Chevalier: I’m not interested.

Clavis: What?

Chevalier: Leave him. He won’t die.

Clavis: Oh yeah… You’re that kind of person.

Chevalier: …

–

The silver-haired prince, who started screaming and hyperventilating at the sight of a sword, was diagnosed with PTSD—

The result of an incident that few knew about.

There was no cure, nor coping mechanisms.

Not only that, it was almost impossible to live without a sword in Rhodolite, a country of knights.

Knights and princes walking down the halls always carried swords, and even if one managed to avoid them, decorative swords were displayed everywhere.

Eventually, he began to shut himself away in his dark room with the curtains drawn shut so that he wouldn’t see anything representing the incident.

–

Sariel: Prince Licht…you need to leave your room once in a while. This isn’t good for your health.

Licht: …Leave me alone.

Sariel: But…

Licht: Don’t come in, Sariel. …Just let me die like this.

Why wasn’t I…at that time.

Why wasn’t I stabbed with a sword?

Sariel: …

–

Clavis: Now, what to do? At this rate, Licht will die.

Sariel: Isn’t it time for your traps that you’re so skilled with?

Clavis: Haha…You must be feeling tired?

Sariel: It would appear so, as you’ve calmly pointed out…

Clavis: *sigh* We have a genius who can do anything, but he’s utterly useless.

Sariel: It seems like Prince Chevalier, who has read every book in existence, from new to old, would know of some good treatments.

Clavis: Even so, does he look like a kind man who would be willing to lend a brother a hand?

Sariel: …

Clavis: That guy’s heartless. A beast that won’t care about what happens to Licht. I’ll do something about it…

–

Days, weeks, a month—It was a coincidence that the turning point in his life came during the days he spent in bed hugging his knees. Licht: What…is that sound?

[keshetchai]

Greetings Friend,

I hope you can help me

How did you go about learning Hebrew? As in what resources, classes, books etc. did you use to get a handle on the language?

I really struggle with languages, so I was hoping you had some advice or tips.

As a bit of background, I am currently a conversion student, going on almost 2.5 years now. I have long since completed the formal learning requirement with my synagogue (conservative) and according to my rabbis, I am free to attend the Beit Din and Mikvah whenever I so choose.

I know my neshama is Jewish, I know this is who I am/supposed to be. I know because of some unusual childhood experiences, and then when I started converting most aspects of the learning and practices came so naturally (granted nowhere near an orthodox level of observance, which isn’t necessarily the goal at this time, but certainly not something I am opposed to perusing) except for the languages.

As previously stated my rabbis say it is okay but something is holding me back from taking that final plunge (lol), and I believe it’s the language.

I still bench in English, and find it really stressful to attend services because I can barely muddle my way around the liturgy, or songs during a Shabbat dinner.

Of course this is just a personal hang up, and absolutely no criticism or shame on anyone else who converted without knowing/knowing very little of the language. Just, for some reason it just doesn’t feel right. I cannot bring myself to say I am actually a member of this wonderful, beautiful tribe before I have overcome this hurdle.

So… any advice?

A few answers for you, the first is most important:

Very Early On in my studying, one of the two rabbis at my synagogue wasn't leading and so she sat in the back, and I decided to sit next to her because i was still finding my footing in the basic service.

And at one point, it may have been for mi hamocha, the cantor starts with a NEW tune I don't know, and I'm still relying on the transliteration entirely and was still trying to memorize the FIRST tune.

And my rabbi leans over and whispers to me: "I have never heard this tune before in my life either."

And the anxiety broke, then. I didn't know this version for the song already and I was lost. But the rabbi sitting next to me also didn't know this tune.

Being Jewish is about always learning something new, even if you are encountering the same thing you've seen or done before dozens or hundreds of times. THAT is being Jewish. Rereading the same book every year and the same passages over and over, but still being a little lost or even finding something you never knew before?

That is being a Jew.

Jews may open a siddur and know what they'll find there, but we do not open it and expect to know everything about how that material is used or applied. And we don't feel a guarantee that life will not teach us something new today, or that someone's minhag won't be totally different from ours. Jews may know the Torah, they may even choose to memorize the mitzvot by heart, but we don't expect this memorization will ensure we never have a halakhic question in life!

So you see, the big scary fact is this: you might become a fluent reader of prayer book Hebrew, you might someday daven entirely in Hebrew, or even graduate rabbinical school, but still sometimes be thrown into being a stranger to something, even something you thought you knew.

But when you identify this and then embrace it, it becomes less scary and part of your Jewish identity. Being perfectly settled, fixed in your knowledge or your thinking or your skills — it honestly doesn't feel terribly Jewish to me.

And for many people born as Jews this can manifest as a type of reflexive embarrassment or self-consciousness for failing at jewishness somehow or having less knowledge for one reason or another. It can make folks defensive or ashamed or feel frustrated for the disconnect. I'm here to tell you that as converts we get the chance to illustrate joyfully that no Jew knows everything Jewish, and that is the experience of being Jewish. The biggest thing holding any of us back from learning the things we don't know is

a) being afraid to seem not Jewish enough or

b) being afraid to not know something

I have excellent news for your (and my) anxiety:

A) almost all Jews worry about how Jewish they seem in some fashion or another so that's normal and,

B) since only hashem knows everything, our job is to not know everything, but to be willing to learn anything. Also we're better in numbers! Two heads are better than one and a minyan is better than that! Everyone doesn't know something, but none of us are alone as Jews. Which is why we become Jewish in community, and not alone. Because someone else might know what we don't!

Get it?

Step #1: you have to jump feet first into not already knowing something perfectly and start knowing less but learning more.

If you are reading the English words and English translations to daven, this means you need to stop. This was your training wheel. And you are not finding your own balance relying on it.

If your siddur has transliterations of the hebrew, bring a little index card next time and cover up the English as you daven for a start. I familiarized myself with the Hebrew because I was saying everything in Hebrew out loud every single time. Once you know the shema by heart more or less (for example), all you have to do is learn the alphabet to prompt your memory to progress further in your Hebrew learning.

That's how kids learn any language. We speak before reading as children. So speak and chant and sing in Hebrew. Whisper the Hebrew. As you get more comfortable, learning to read Hebrew will be an exercise you can even do during the middle of shabbat.

Because you know what the prayer says, and you just need to match the words you see to the sounds you know.

Step #2: know the aleph bet before you attempt reading comprehension of all words.

Things that I used to learn the aleph bet:

Hebrew scripts (the app by drops)

Write it! Hebrew app

Victoria Hanna's The Aleph Bet Song (Hosha'na) because uh she sings the aleph bet and pronounces it

Behrman House Books: Hineni: prayerbook Hebrew for adults; aleph isn't tough! For adults. The kids stuff is good too, I'm not ashamed to say I own "time to read Hebrew!" 1&2

(The Hebrew by inbal on Amazon looks new but good possibly?)

If you want a siddur set up specifically to practice matching transliteration and Hebrew aleph bet, I recommend Chayim Alevsky's My Siddur (choose the minhag variant you use! I bought the Sephardic/Israeli as I don't use ashkie pronunciations.

There will be slight differences of you're used to liberal inclusion of say, the matriarchs, but in general this is a solid practice book for anyone. Transliteration is given word by word, with full word blocks reading in the same direction as Hebrew. At the bottom of the page certain (possibly newer to the learner) words will be defined.

It also now has an app which looks like this:

So you see this is pairing the reading direction of Hebrew words with the sounds spelled out in English to strengthen your Hebrew. If you try to read the transliteration in the English direction word by word, you'll be reading it backwards and starting with v'kayahm, instead of "modeh" (or "modah" feminine). Further even if you're starting correctly with modeh, the English word is still left to right over the Hebrew right to left. so this forces you to be attentive to the Hebrew itself and slow down word by word!

The layout in the print versions means you can cover up the transliteration to test your learning of certain words, and only check if you forget.

I still am not perfect at everything and I truthfully attentively practice Chinese far more than Hebrew reading, but this is what helped me.

Good luck!

[moody-alcoholic]

Some ‘common’ 'British' slang phrases

Maybe I'll do a part 2 or common words one at some point... Feel free to comment ones you know, I know I missed loads. I did this instead of working on my fic.

Source - I’m British. Disclaimer - I’m northern..

Sling ya/your hook - get out of here. Bugger off - go away. Bugger all - nothing. Lost/loosing the plot - gone/going crazy. Off your trolley - doing something crazy. EX: You must be off your trolley if you think that’s going to work. Off your head - crazy. Have a gander - take a look/having a look. Faffing around - messing around/wasting time. Ass-over-tit - when someone falls over. ‘Effing and blinding - someone is swearing a lot. Not my/their cup of tea - something you/others don’t like. One off - one time thing. (going to) see a man about a dog - when you don’t want to tell someone where you’re going. Taking the piss - you’re shocked at a situation. EX: this train being late is taking the piss. Taking the biscuit - the SFW version of taking the piss. Speaking the queens English - to speak standard English. Sometimes this can mean someone is posh. Budge up/over - move over/ make space. Mugging me off/ mug me off - Someone is making fun/annoying you. Can’t be arsed - can’t be bothered. Don’t get your knickers in a twist - don’t get worked up. (You’re) having a laugh - you can’t be serious? Kicked the bucket - dead. Bang/well out of order - not fair. (I) don’t give a rats arse - don’t care. (that’s) thrown a spanner in the works - something has been disrupted or screw up. EX: Her moving the time of the party has really thrown a spanner in the works. In for a penny, in for a pound - you’ve started something you might as well finish it. Nip in/out - Quickly go somewhere. EX: I’m just going to nip to the shop. Bob’s your uncle - There you go. On your bike - fuck off/go away. Blues and two’s - emergency vehicle’s/lights. It’s been donkeys (years) - It’s been a long time. (I think this is a very northern way of saying it, you would normally say; It’s been donkeys years since I have seen her.)

Bonus It’s pissing/chucking it down - it’s raining fucking hard.

I have beef with this one… Ruined my experience when I played through Alone in MW2. Even with his accent Simon would have known what Johnny meant when he said ‘it’s pissing it down’ it’s such a common phrase especially in the north.

I literally hear and use it myself almost daily and I don’t even live in the UK. Simon would have known, he’s from Manchester for Christs sake. Anyway that dialog pisses me off.