#did you guys also get these strong voldemort vibes?

[justhavefangirl]

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

So I was showing my sister your amazing Q-A posts, when I came across Peter's. I realized that you just keep mentioning the incompetence of the Order, and how they're just a bunch of babysitters who don't do anything throughout many posts, but never actually wrote a rant about them and their members. Can you do that, while stating all the things they did/didn't do and their uselessness to the Order? What can I say I love your rants!

Caveat that it has been a while since I’ve read books 5, 6, and 7 of Harry Potter. I have a fantastic memory but some things may slip my mind. If I grievously offend anyone and it turns out the Order does actually do something, anything, of any vague importance then feel free to let me know and shame me on the internet.

With that, the story of why I think the Order of the Phoenix is a ridiculous organization that was mostly there because Dumbledore felt the need to have a guerilla resistance group (you’ve got to have a guerilla resistance group! Or, if Tom has a secret cult, I must have one too! BUT WITH BIRDS! COO COO KACHOO TOM RIDDLE!)

First, let’s look at our lineup.

Yes, we have a few aurors in the midst, but even with them the lineup is... worrying. In the first war we knew that key figures had presumably just graduated Hogwarts and joined the Order (James and Sirius). For all we know, they were recruited even before graduation. This makes sense as James’ is a big financial win for Dumbledore and was probably, perhaps with Longbottom, in charge of funding most of their operations. That and he and Longbottom give Dumbledore a voice in the Wizengamot (which so far as I can surmise is the only real governing body in the country, the ministry exists, but it all boils down to the Wizengamot). 

The point being, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Lily are all barely squeaking out of Hogwarts not only when they join the Order but also even by the time they die. More, it could be because the books are from Harry’s point of view and he has a serious thing about worshipping James, but James in particular is made to sound very vital to the Order’s operations. A twenty-one-year-old who charged Voldemort without a wand (I really shouldn’t give James shit for this, it was a desperate situation, an attack they had not anticipated, he’s young, and panicking. I will still give James shit for this.)

Otherwise we have Mundungus Fletcher, who gives strong vibes of being an alcoholic and is just a generally unreliable, shady, dude who will steal your silverware and pawn it on the black market when you aren’t looking.

We have Molly and Arthur Weasley, whose only use I can possibly think of is being moral support and... I don’t know... providing safe houses maybe? Seriously, we have no indication they’re good at dueling (less so as Harry’s shocked when Molly takes on Bellatrix and miraculously wins). We know Arthur’s not a very intelligent guy. Arthur and Molly have no sense of... Well, suffice to say, if Dumbledore gave them any real information they’d run away screaming. They throw Percy out of the family for becoming Fudge’s secretary, I’m sure Dumbledore was just internally screaming and begging them not to do it so he can make Percy a spy. But he can never say as much as such a notion would horrify Molly and Arthur. Molly and Arthur are also presented as vital members of the Order by the way. Molly and Arthur. ARTHUR.

We have what remains of the Marauders in the second go around: Remus and Sirius. Remus, while a competent wizard, nobody can quite trust for the reason they couldn’t quite trust him last time: he’s still a werewolf and has no reason to support the current government. Sirius is recovering from ten years in hell and is in no condition to do anything, knows it, loathes it, and is clawing at the walls of the safehouse he was pretty much forced to provide the Order.

We then have the aurors. Kingsly seems competent enough but more than him we have Moody and we have Tonks. Tonks is young and seems very very green, she was a good enough duelist to get into the auror corps but we know she’s dreadfully clumsy and often seems to treat Order business as this very exciting super secret mission she’s on. Moody, is a paranoid wreck who is almost comical for his utterly ridiculous skepticism of everything and seems incapable of making any true plans or taking any real action.

Looking at the Order of the Phoenix is kind of like watching “Dodgeball”, you just have this really weird collection of people who try to dodge wrenches, only the Death Eaters aren’t much better, so it kind of evens out. 

But onto why I think they do nothing... It’s because we see them do nothing.

We don’t get much information on the first war but at best it seems like there were a few minor skirmishes in the street now and then. I always imagine something like the Sharks and the Jets in Westside Story. They’re walking along the streets, spot each other, dramatic music ensues and a rumble begins, then they scamper away when the aurors come in.

Remember that these guys aren’t a legitimate organization and really don’t have the structure of one. Back in the day they were probably, essentially, a street gang.

We get a little more evidence of what we see them get up to in the later books. And it’s all just kind of sad.

Remus is sent on the world’s most ridiculous and hopeless quest to recruit werewolves. Why do I say ridiculous and hopeless, what the hell does Remus have to offer these guys? Werewolves are ridiculously oppressed by the current government, they cannot obtain an education, they cannot hold jobs, they’re desperately unemployed and people routinely talk about wiping them out. Remus comes up to them and says, “Hey guys, come support the guerilla movement that supports the government that talks about killing you all the time! It’ll be great!” They’ll either put Remus’ head on a pike or if they’re nice just laugh at him until he leaves. I’d say it’d be worth it, except that it’s an exceedingly dangerous task that probably would end with Remus’ head on a pike. As it is, it ends in embarrassing failure. And this is one of the more legitimate Order missions.

Hagrid, similarly, is sent to talk to the giants and it ends in equally embarrassing failure for the same reasons (why would the giants ever support the ministry and or Dumbledore who promises them nothing). Also, sending Hagrid to talk diplomacy, with anyone, ever. Surely, there’s no way that could possibly go wrong.

Otherwise their big task seems to be to babysit Harry and transfer him from the Dursleys to the Burrow/Grimmuald Place. The first, they fail at, Mundungus gets put on the job the one day something actually happens and it’s a complete disaster. The second, they also fail at, as I never understood why they couldn’t just portkey him where they needed him to go or at least closer by. The polyjuice flight across the sky was... really unecessary. 

You can tell by the seriousness with which most Order members, i.e. Tonks, take the babysitting Harry duty that this is a very serious task for very serious people. Given this, Tom’s lack of overt action in the fifth and sixth books, the fact that we don’t seem to see them do anything even in the seventh book... Yeah, this and keeping an eye out for that prophecy are their most exciting jobs.

Remember that rescuing Harry from the Department of Mysteries wasn’t really Dumbledore’s idea. That was an emergency situation where he had to pull out the stops, more, I suspect Sirius went “CHAAAAAARGE” and gleefully rushed out into glorious battle with the Order directly behind him and Dumbledore going, “Well, shit.”

I guess the last thing I’ll say is that we also see that Dumbledore has very little confidence in the Order. He gives them nothing important to do and, more, gives them virtually no intelligence.

He never tells the Order about the horcruxes (their existence or Harry, Hermione, and Ron’s super serial mission to track them down and destroy them). He never relays to them that Harry himself is a horcrux. He never reveals the suicide ploy with Snape or that he was in fact dying before that point. He never reveals Malfoy’s assassination attempts. Dumbledore doesn’t tell them jack shit.

If he relies on anyone, usually when he’s forced to, it’s Severus Snape. This I think is not only because Snape is forced in a way to be loyal thanks to the life debt to Harry as well as his own overwhelming sense of guilt but also because he’s the only really intelligent and competent one there.

The Order’s just... if you need someone to pick up Harry or else keep an eye on him when Mrs. Figg is busy: they’re your guys. Otherwise, they make Dumbledore feel good about himself?

[griffnoir]

i had this idea for a fic that i just wanted to share bc i thought it was neat and i know i will never write it under the cut : regulus black and severus snape, young and not that desperate, team up to defeat voldemort (for better and for worse)

- we are in 79. regulus goes to retrieve the locket, happy to die a sad and heroic death BUT kreacher brings him back to grimmauld place against his orders. he is dying... because of a potion... kreacher knows someone who knows shit about potions... regulus lives au! severus gets kidnapped by a nasty house-elf :/ he def had better sundays but that’s fine: he helps his fellow death-eater bc it’s what one does (everything for the cause!)

- regulus heals. regulus isn’t so happy about it (one cannot even kill oneself in this economy) then the conversation goes: reg : hey do u wanna know something that will get u killed? sev : no. reg : so the dark lord has made this thing called an horcrux... :D sev : T.T fuck why would u say that to me

- severus had doubts(tm) about this death-eater thing. this is the tipping point. so they are here, 18 and 19, one braincell between them, deciding after multiple identity crisis that they will kill the dark lord or die trying (they have better faith in the dying part but that’s ok they have nothing to lose) - they both know too much so this is a sort of race against time reg : i guess we could go to dumbledore sev : lol we are not THAT desperate

- they don’t go to dumbledore ://

- it is very important to me that they can’t fucking stand each other on the best of days. like: severus is severus, the little rat(affectionate) but i always thought of regulus as a mix between sirius and draco, plus whatever u want (this is not a good mix). the guy is pampered, rich, posh and a bloody nuisance of a person (also a dedicated blood supremacist); severus isn’t a Black so for once in his life he is actually the well-adjusted one - this doesn’t augure well for their enterprise

- do they succeed? yes. how? dumb luck. also they have a “they didn’t know it was impossible so they did it” type of thing going on. regulus’ superpower is the fact that he is rich, has connections and that nobody suspects him of anything. severus’ one is pure spite and the hogging of the braincell; they both think they are the brain behind this operation and that they are superior to the other in the ways that count (actually they are both just clowns)

- one of the only thing they share is the ultimate goal of killing voldemort; also, they both have somebody on the other side they don’t want ending up dead, so there is that; moreover they are both stressed out of their minds (the self-medication is strong and it could become a problem)

- they have to juggle their public life, their death-eater life and their hunting horcruxes life. it gets complicated :(

- grey-ish moral decisions are made, but hey! one has to do what one has to do

- how do they find the horcruxes? perhaps with the help of dark magic? through inside knowledge? a bit of both? regulus could know where is the diary/ the cup; if u know what u are looking for, nagini is an obvious answer; the ring can be found with minimal research on tom riddle; the diadem can be a lucky find (one could call it an educated guess lol)

- regulus learns that he can actually stand up for himself without his family weighing in and that his whole worldview is in fact a giant with feet of clay. severus that he can lead his life without idly surfing on the consequences of his bad decisions and can change things for the better by acting on them. that’s great. they are doing great. they are fucking terrified for their lifes.

- they end up begrudgingly respecting each other. are they friends? loaded question. perhaps.

- in this au, severus does also report the prophecy to the dark lord, then panics when the potters are brought up. sev and reg pass the information to the order one way or another and this just speeds up their research

- they kill nagini on the sly: it’s a shitshow of epic proportion, but they get away with it bc uh... who would think them able of such a feat? it’s def an highly-trained task force or something. sad that the snake got in the way though :/ (there is no more horcrux, the dark lord is mortal once more)

- who kills voldemort? neither of them. it would be cool, but no. the obvious choice would rather be dumbledore, and why not, in an impressive duel for the ages. personally i would prefer someone from the order, why not one of the youngsters: sirius? remus (a fucking win for the werewolves if it’s the case)? if we are only in 80, why not a peter who has not yet turned traitor lmao? if it’s one of them it’s just totally anti-climatic

- hell yeah! voldemort is trully, trully dead! the one who killed him is hailed as an hero and everybody lived happily ever after! severus and regulus will never have to speak to each other again!

- no.

- the hunt for the death-eaters begins: names are being dropped left and right. regulus doesn’t even go to trial bc he throws money at his problems; severus is not so lucky and gets rounded up in the most stupid way possible, also he thinks he deserves azkaban bc he did some shady shit and likes the martyr vibes reg, who has outgrown his suicidal tendencies: shit i need to save this punk’s ass since he won’t do it himself

- are regulus and his money enough to exonerate severus? perhaps. living with the morale high ground of having brought down the dark lord could be enough to rebuild a decent life for themselves; would they have closure? in a bittersweet way they could

- if it’s not enough, regulus being THAT desperate, he would go to the biggest bully of the playground aka dumbledore. a dumbledore ready to believe that voldemort would be coming back, until this scrawny (almost) 20 years-old goes “nah, we took care of that for you, you are welcome! also, since the whole wizarding world has a debt for us or something, could u pls bail my colleague? friend? out that would be great” albus : ... what?

- i just want a fun reveal; in the future to have regulus talking to his brother, severus to lily (at least for one good talk, i don’t ask for much), just to have that closure pls :’(

- 10 years later or something rita skeeter digs up the whole convulated story it’s glorious. nobody wants that

i don’t have anything else but it was fun to think about

[therealvinelle]

“By contrast, I can think of characters who resemble most other Twilight characters with a relative amount of ease.”

You put this at the end of an ask and was just wondering if you would please elaborate? Have a lovely day

(Anon is referring to this post.) Do you ever look at two characters, realize they have a few things in common, then blink, take a step back, and realize that they really do have an awful lot in common? That they're more or less the same person, only in different circumstances? The same archetype, at the very least.

I'm open to the possibility that you'll say no, @thecarnivorousmuffinmeta and I are strange people who see strange things.

All the same, here are a few examples.

Also, this contains spoilers for the animes Fate/Zero, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, and Revolutionary Girl Utena, as well as the play Vildanden, the book Candide, and the show I, Claudius.

Aro: Kiritsugu Emiya from Fate/Zero.

Kiritsugu is a highly effective assassin whose defining trait, and curse, is his willingness to commit any atrocity in the name of the greater good. His ambition is to save the world. Over the course of the series he sacrifices his father, surrogate mother, best friend, wife, and daughter, and treats everybody else like chess pieces. It will all be worth it when he has saved the world.

He is the opposite of Bella, who would let anything burn for the sake of her loved ones. Kiritsugu loves fiercely, but he will sacrifice that which is most precious to him with a steady hand.

Aro has that same ruthlessness combined with idealism. He sacrifices his sister and is willing to kill his only friend as well, to say nothing of the many other things he has done. He creates child vampires and will kill anyone who stands in his way. This is what he must do to gain and maintain power.

Aro and Kiritsugu will sacrifice anything and anybody if they perceive it to be beneficial to their goal, a goal they happen to share.

Also Aro: Claudius from I, Claudius.

Cladius is the emperor of Rome not because he wishes to be, but because the moment he steps off the throne, Rome will fall to pieces.

Aro did seek out the throne, Claudius very much did not. However, both are in the precarious situation where they can never leave their respective thrones. Rome would fall to pieces without Claudius, and the world would burn without Aro.

Also Aro: Voldemort in an AU where he won.

We're deep in la la AU land now.

But, Aro had to commit atrocities to get to the throne, we only meet him millennia later when his rule is secure. A post-victory Voldemort (and I here mean years and years and years have passed) would be a figure quite similar to Aro. A harsh, uncompromising leader, yet he’s been around for long enough to shape the world into what he wants it to be, people don’t remember that it was once different, and he is regarded as the distant, yet necessary leader.

Bella: Hedda Gabler from Vildanden.

Hedda finds out she's a child born of infidelity, and that her father no longer loves her. Wanting to win back his love she kills herself. Bella, too, has that utter lack of self-love, that willingness to sacrifice herself, and it’s all too easy for her to believe Edward never loved her. Both Hedda and Bella fail to understand there are people who love and would miss them

Also Bella: Homura Akemi from Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

This is not an obvious one.

But they both have that uncompromising drive to do anything and everything for the one they love, and by love I mean the one they fixate everything they are or have ever been upon. Homura, over the course of P3M, goes from wanting to use time travel to save everybody, to being content with saving only Madoka. She will destroy herself for Madoka in a very literal sense, seeing no worth at all in her own survival.

Give Bella a time machine and a timeloop where Edward always dies at the end, and she will go down Homura’s path.

Caius: Every warrior king ever. Ooh and he and Iskandar (again from Fate/Zero) have very similar vibes, although they're far from the same character.

Iskandar believes that kingship and leadership is not about being noble or virtuous or showing a good example to your people, it's about strength, conquest, and glorious victory.

Caius, I imagine, would heartily agree with that.

Carlisle: I love Carlisle, but there are Carlisles everywhere, especially in anime. Utena Tenjou from Revolutionary Girl Utena comes to mind in particular, though.

Utena begins her story as a righteous and brave girl who wants to be a prince. She wants this without quite understanding what it truly means to be noble, nor does she know what it means to save a person.

Her desire to save Anthy is especially this. Anthy is a traditional damsel in distress at the beginning of the story, and Utena is so eager to save her that she never takes what Anthy herself into account. She judges herself harshly for this failure, but comes to understand what it truly means to save Anthy in the end.

Carlisle has that same nobility and willingness to do good, he is the moral compass of those around him, but all the same he is hoodwinked and does not always know where best to thread. His rescue of Rosalie is a good example of this, he saw a young woman who’d been raped to death, and did the only thing he could to help her, only to learn this wasn’t what she wanted.

Also Carlisle: god, so many characters.

Shirou from Now and Then, Here and There. Suffers a ridiculous amount, but never loses his goodness and insists even in the most extreme circumstances upon the inalienable worth of human life.

Duck from Princess Tutu. Never uses violence or even powers to win against her opponents. She talks to them, finds out why they're unhappy, and wins through healing them. They become friends with her after.

Akane Tsunemori from Psycho-Pass. In a world where people’s souls can be calculated mathematically, Akane Tsunemori is objectively a good person, empirically proven to be incorruptible. That’s her defining trait, no matter what she endures she never loses her upstanding morals. The kind of person who wouldn’t succumb to the lure of human blood.

Just gonna drop the fact that Carlisle’s hair and eyes are the same color, Edward with his vampire sight notes that they’re only one shade apart. The guy is a misplaced anime character.

Oh, and Candide from Voltaire’s Candide. This is just a loose association, but “beautiful blond man travels the world, meets people who are over the top cartoonishly miserable (just... multiply Meyer’s backstories with each other and add 10. Victoria’s life + Rosalie’s life + Esme’s life + their mother is pushed off a cliff by dalmatians) but he carries on with a big smile, and eventually settles down with his found family of hilariously wretched people” gives me Carlisle vibes.

Edward: He's so many people and in so many different ways, oh my god.

He's a mommy's boy who cries because I'M A MONSTER - Buster Bluth. Arrested Development.

He thinks too highly of himself - Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter.

He GOBs - George Oscar "GOB" Bluth. Again Arrested Development.

He appears normal to the outside world, yet there's a complete meltdown with incoherent rants, strong opinions about music, and strong disturbing tendencies towards violence he may or may not act on - Patrick Bateman from American Psycho.

He's weird about women, mother figures, himself, and violent. Creepy yet undeniably charming - Norman Bates from Psycho.

The way he regards Bella - strong Humbert Humbert from Lolia vibes. Replace "nymphet" with "singer" and there you go.

Really, though, with Edward, he is like these yet unlike them all. He’s... he’s a lot.

Emmett: Much like how Caius is a warrior king, Emmett is Frat Bro™.

Jasper: Clint Eastwood for reasons outlined in this post.

Marcus: Arwen after Aragorn inevitably dies.

A sad sad elf who's fading away.

Rosalie: Cordelia Chase from Buffy

Speaks her mind, no matter how brutal it is or how little people want to hear it. She does not forgive those who wrong her, she is proud, and most importantly, she is misjudged. Her beautiful appearance and bitchy veneer make her easy to dismiss, but once the going gets tough she is a deeply good person. She’ll make bitchy comments about watching your back, but watch it she does.

-

I also do this with ships. Aro/Carlisle are a great match for Dorian Gray and Lord Henry, if Lord Henry had failed to corrupt Dorian Gray and been delighted by that fact.

I have other examples, but they go weird places so let’s not.

TL;DR: I'm Miss Marple.

[shamelessllamapeanutthing]

Ships and Feels about them

HUGE self-indulgent post but my brain is frozen and I need to get the juices flowing so I can start studying, because if I don’t get into the college I want I just might have to kill myself and then y’all can say bye-bye to your fav fics by your majesty. 

YoruSoi- status: worSHIPPING (geddit? XD) them like the goddesses they are

I regularly play Wicked Ones by Dorothy and just imagine these two tag-teaming against their opponents, like the crazy, badass, ninja lesbians they are. It fucking gives me goosebumps and makes me blush like I am imagining them rawing each other instead. I am a big time SUCKER for powerful, cut-throat wlw. They make me feel powerful by extension, and my devotion for these two is completely unparalleled. 

VictUuri- status: will protect them with my life  

First of all, I love how layered and interesting they are. I can think about this show and this ship for hours and hours on end ( @feastingonvicturi will vouch for that). I naturally gravitate towards angsty ships and writing (because I am a weird sado-maso cross, what can I say) except for these two fluffy bastards. I had been putting off watching YOI because of the weird things I had read about ��yaoi’ animes (IK YOI is not yaoi, now) till someone told me how pure and deep their love for each other was and welp, here we are. 

RenRuki- status: comfort ship I’ll defend till death

It was one of my first ships and even as I multi-shipper, I always had a preference for them. Childhood-friends-to-lovers trope tugs on my heartstrings like little else and Renji’s devotion towards Rukia warms my heart. I hear them in nearly every song, imagine them in every scenario I read or write about and even though I have multiple ships I adore involving Rukia and Renji both, the two together is everything to me. (Presently obsessed with the amazing hcs and art by @recurring-polynya you might wanna check them out)

KaiRay- status: heart is taking a break, but remains firmly attached

I got into Beyblade BECAUSE of this ship, because of the moments these two shared in V-Force that I caught glimpses of when my younger siblings were watching the show. I love Kai and Ray’s dynamic and I guess what attracts me the most to this ship is the fact that as a teenager I was exactly like Kai and had my own personal Ray who got me through the worst in life. I love the sense of sweet nostalgia this couple brings me and I believe they are perfect for each other. 

MariahEmily- status: coffee shop AU, anyone? 

I was HUGE on MariahxRay but strong, stylish, kinda bitchy, dumb thot falling for the highly educated and fierce lady boss she doesn’t really know how to approach is another one of my favourite tropes, (see: PansMione, down under). I saw them interact and due to personal reasons my brain rejects petty rivalry between girls (because we’re all tired of that, children, be honest) and immediately tries to fix it in fanon. ( @trashyartz  and her beautiful drawings had a lot to do with fanning these flames.) 

ShunUki- status: want them to adopt me

Need I say more? No, but I wanna. I love the steady, secure vibes of this ship. This is the one ship I physically can’t write angsty shit about because of the level of understanding and sense of comfort these two share. They give me kind and strong dad vibes and I have emotionally been an orphan since I was in my early teens so. 

WolfStar- status: they’re canon, JKR can suck my toes

Fucking TERF 

Listen, listen, have you been listening? I mentioned I am a sucker for angst, right? Are you looking at the angst potential here, cause wow. What originally attracted me to this ship was the Chemistry between the two, cause it’s undeniable. You can NOT imagine Maurauders’ Era without imaging these two pining over each other. It’s impossible. 

PansMione- status: toxic and problematic, but oh so hot

I got on this ship because I was craving some quality wlw ships. You guys’ I can not explain to you how often female characters in shows and books do not pass the Bechdel test and I stumbled on some gorgeous PansMione art and just fell in love. IK this ship is hella problematic, but I am firm on my stance that the baby Slytherins deserve a redemption arc. 

Can you imagine these two after Pansy realises everything she did wrong and vows to be better? I imagine Hermione stumbling on a hurt and confused Pansy in year 8, who can’t stop her tears from flowing and is so ashamed of herself for that. She is feeling guilty and resisting the emotion with everything she possesses because the world she’d always known has crumbled down around her and everything she believed in has now been proven to be wrong. 

She lashes out at Hermione because how dare that smart, gorgeous, courageous girl also be everything Pansy once thought she was? How dare she, a muggleborn, unravel the complicated threads of the wizard world so quickly, so efficiently, and clearly see what Pansy never could? Pansy is hurt and guilty and angry and she hates the fact that fucking Granger of all people has now witnessed her crying. 

She feels lost and her anger only rages louder when Hermione doesn’t gloat or belittle her, she doesn’t say anything. 

(Why is this turning into a ficlet, WHAT) 

Anyways, Pansy gets over herself and she and Hermione get together and oh my god, imagine them then. Smart, powerful, righteous Hermione taking the fucking Wizarding World by a storm every single day with her sexy, vivacious, clever Pansy by her side. They’d be unstoppable and they’d love each other something fierce. It would show in the way they look at each other, with a sense of victory, not only over Voldemort but over the entire Wizarding society that had done everything it could to tear them apart, and ultimately failed. 

(BONUS: Imagine Ron and Harry being utter dorks when they go to Pride parades with Hermione and let the image cleanse your skin and soul. @feastingonvicturi @trashyartz one of you (or both?) needs to collab with me so I can write a fix it fic for these two, please. I will pledge my soul to the devil to be used and abused as per Trashy’s whims in exchange. Taura will do it cause she’s my best friend and loves me more than I deserve to be loved.)

(In conclusion, I adore every single one of these ships and am willing to slice a bitch’s throat to protect their honour. Except for YoruSoi, they are fictional characters IK but I am convinced they do not need anybody’s protection, least of all this dumb fuck’s and just might laugh at the very idea.) 

Also, feel free to reblog or comment with rants about your own ships even if they go directly against mine. More love to you if you expand on the ships I mentioned here myself. Tell me about your poison of choice, go ahead. 

But if any one of you dares to send hate to any of my ships, please know that I am something of a God in my own capacity and will smite you with my preferred weapon of choice i.e. blindness in the face of adorable puppies or kittens (in pictures, videos, art, real life or otherwise). Beware. Let people love what they love.

[kitkatopinions]

Accidentally deleted my Tyrian and Watts asks while I was trying to fix a mistake so... Sorry about that, everyone! Here they are! Tyrian and Watts for the RWBY character asks!

Let’s do Tyrian first, because I have less to say about him, I feel like.

My top three ships for the character

Tyrian/Watts. Dysfunctional villainous romance of the century, no one knows how they’ve managed to make it to their tenth anniversary without killing each other, including them. Tyrian/Salem is my second top ship for him. Major Bellatrix/Voldy vibes with this one, but I could see it. Tyrian/Hazel is my third ship for lack of options. Does this one make sense? No. But I can at least see Tyrian being super flirty and Hazel being endlessly tired, but never really stopping it. (Also I hate Hazel so much lol.)

My three least favorite ships for the character

Tyrian/Qrow sucks for me. Like... I kinda feel like two people fighting each other just gets shippers, which is fine and totally understandable. But for me, Tyrian poisoning Qrow and almost killing him and calling his beloved niece a bitch and then killing Clover is a big no from me, dog. On that note! Tyrian/Clover is also one big no from me, since Clover murdered him. And Tyrian/Ozpin is another really big no from me. Tyrian and his crazy Salem worship can stay five hundred and fifty feet away from my son.

My biggest criticism for the character

They went a little too much on the crazy in the fourth and fifth season and it made him feel annoying. Like, I don’t mind the Bellatrix vibes, but I do mind the movie version Bellatrix vibes, sometimes. It just got kinda annoying. I wish his crazy was always more on the dangerous side and less on the kooky side, but that’s just personal opinions.

My favorite thing about the character

The way people are so uncomfortable around him. Whenever Tyrian talks to Emerald or Mercury, he’s honestly freaky. Like both me and the characters are waiting for him to snap. That’s a great quality in a villain that we’re meant to hate or love to hate. He has a real presence and it’s enjoyable.

A headcanon I have about them

Tyrian doesn’t often try to act normal, but he can, and he’s got a great ‘respectable, cool guy’ act that’s actually a little reminiscent of Qrow or Clover. He’s even passed himself as a Huntsman here and there.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

More involvement in volumes 4 and 5, and I’d treat him a bit more seriously and make him a bit more dangerous. Maybe I’d have him wound a member of Team RNJR in his attack as well as poison Qrow (maybe give Jaune a reason to unlock his semblance in season 4 and in response to the pain of a member of his team. Also, his ‘Tyrian purple’ color should be more than just the color of his eyes. Like, how come so many RWBY characters season 4 and onward have such boring colors? I’d give Tyrian some strong purple and pink.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Tyrian alludes to the animal fable ‘the Scorpion and the Frog,’ and that’s... really in name only, I think. A part of me wants to give them some kind of points for having Qrow work with him against Clover, only for Tyrian to kill Clover, which lines up with his ‘its just my nature’ scorpion stinging the frog so that they’ll both drown and die. But they didn’t mean for Qrow to really be wrong! They didn’t mean for the lesson to be ‘Qrow shouldn’t have trusted the poisonous villain’ it was ‘wowza does Qrow’s semblance hurt him. :( Too bad Clover got himself killed.’ Which makes the whole allusion kind of suck.

Now for Watts, the single best villain in my opinion.

My top three ships for the character

Tyrian/Watts. See above. This ship would be a dysfunctional mess, but it’d be a wild ride. Watts/Villain!Ironwood. I kind of hate this ship when it’s ‘fallen hero turned villain’ Ironwood. But if he actually had been written as a secret villain or obviously headed that way from the start, I can see him and Watts also being a dysfunctional mess of a wild ride ship, only with way more ‘evil power couple’ vibes than Tyrian and Watts would have. Also my favorite version of this features Watts having been the one to build Penny (maybe by stealing the plans from Pietro) and him and Ironwood raising a still bright and cheerful, still innocent and trusting, villain Penny who will attack to kill with a smile on her face and a ‘it was nice meeting you!’ And this is very weird and niche but Watts/Evil Stepsister (specifically the one with the sharp bangs and highlights.) Someone sent me an ask saying the Evil Stepmother and stepsisters should’ve been connected to Salem and gotten Cinder involved and I totally agree with this. I then started envisioning a world where the step sisters competed with Cinder and all three of them were raised in Salem’s circle. In this version of things, I could totally picture one of the step sisters having a romantic tension driven connection with Watts and the two of them subtly flirting sometimes (and bonding over their mutual hatred of Cinder.) I picked the sister with bangs for no real reason except that I like her look more.

My three least favorite ships for the character

Watts/Cinder. Watts thinks of her like a bratty little girl, and Cinder kills him. Watts/Lionheart. Kinda really hate this one because of how clearly Lionheart was terrified of him. Just a bit uncomfortable for me to see that in a relationship. Watts/Hero!Ironwood or Watts/HeroTurnedVillain/Ironwood. Sorry, but Ironwood in canon got such a bad, bad portrayal in season 8 and the end of season 7, and I just can’t help but blame Watts for quite a bit of it. I only like them as a ship if Ironwood is an antagonist from the start.

My biggest criticism for the character

They shouldn’t have killed him! He was one of Salem’s best followers and one of the best villains and it was such a big mistake to kill literally one of the only actual loyal followers. It threw off any character development for Cinder and it was a big mistake. I really wanted the Cinder / Watts / Neo team up to keep going! I’m so disappointed it got thrown away.

My favorite thing about the character

Watts is an entitled, petty bastard, and I think that’s so good for a villain that isn’t meant to be social commentary (because tbh, RWBY never should’ve tried to be social commentary.) Watts isn’t sympathetic, he’s an Atlas born and raised guy in a three piece suit, he’s posh, he’s upset because he wasn’t given exactly what he wanted. Most of the villains in RWBY are either victims of abuse, systemic oppression, or poverty, and that’s... Not fun in a show that’s never handled social commentary well and is about magical girls destroying Voldemort/Satan with the power of friendship (Ruby literally never says anything about Faunus rights iirc.) Watts is refreshing because he’s exactly the type of villain that you can expect in a show like what RWBY should’ve been, and he flourishes as that. Why would we be sympathetic to Watts when he’s just doing this all because he wasn’t picked first for his tech? Why would we feel soured towards conflicts with Watts and Team RWBY? He’s just a petty bastard being evil because he was snubbed. Why would we be frustrated that incredibly significant problems are being shoved to the side with Watts? He’s a fun villain, he’s not meant to be more, he’s not meant to make you emotionally invested only to then be gutted for it. You can hate to love him without it feeling bad. Maybe that’s why he’s just my favorite non-kid villain (other than Roman.)

A headcanon I have about them

Watts has been trying to build his own AI robot like Penny, in his spare time. He wanted it to be done in time to become a Maiden, but it wasn’t, and Salem gave that slot to Cinder and got after Watts for not contributing enough. He of course thought this was deeply unfair (especially after being made to contribute a lot to Cinder’s Beacon success without getting any credit for it.) And this just fueled his hatred of Cinder, his hatred of Pietro and Ironwood, and by extension, his hatred of Penny.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

I would keep him freaking alive and keep up the pair up he had going on with Cinder and Neo! But also I’d increase his relationships with Emerald, Mercury, Tyrian, Hazel... Just some more Salem’s Inner Circle moments to flesh out their characters. Other than that, I wouldn’t change much. He’s a pretty good character.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

Okay, I’ve talked about his character allusion in a very long post awhile ago, but I’m not scrolling down that far to tag it. To sum it up... I hate his allusion. XD I loved the Sherlock Holmes books and read most of them, and I didn’t realize he was supposed to allude to John Watson until I read someone else’s post saying so, and I started freaking out about how awful it was. Watts has so little in common with Watson, he’s essentially the anti-Watson. Which basically means he’s Sherlock Holmes, the opposite of Watson in almost every way, up to and including freaking faking his death which is one of the most iconic Sherlock Holmes thing ever. Watts is everything Sherlock Holmes is on his worst days, arrogant, callous, consumed with his projects, petty, smug, over the top - as well as being hyper intelligent and a genius who often just gets passed over. He has rivalries with his colleagues like Holmes did. And like I said, he faked his death, only to reveal himself to an old friend later on the cusp of carrying out a scheme. He’s evil Holmes! He has nothing to do with John Watson - caring, humble, down to earth, not brilliant like his friend but content to be ordinary and special because of his emotional depth and devoted heart, medical former doctor who spends quite a lot of time chronicling the successes of someone else because he’s content to live in the background. Don’t get me wrong, a ‘Watson’ character who is evil could work - Watson himself indulged in crime for the sake of Holmes sometimes in the original works and if he worshipped Salem or one of her followers and did everything for her while still being a more humble, more friendly, not brilliant person he could be good - but Watts is not that person. Even the gimmicks Watts is given are stupid and don’t make it obvious he’s Watson. Boy’s got a moustache and a revolver and they thought that’d be enough. Idk why they thought 'we’ll make him Watson’ when he’s clearly a Holmes! Also, he’s supposed to be ‘Watson if he’d met Moriarty instead of Holmes,’ and to that I say boo! Watson wouldn’t turn into a super genius just because he meets a different mastermind!

...That’s summing up my feelings, yeah. Because I have so many feelings about his warped, weird character allusion. If I was changing it, I’d just make him Holmes like I think he was clearly supposed to be.

[retvenkos]

(PART ONE) Hello! Congratulations on your milestone! Can I request a :fire: for Harry Potter? I’m a straight female, My zodiac sign is Scorpio, I’m also a Slytherin. My personality type is Estp-t. I have big goals for my future such as being an actress. I also play the electric guitar and I also really enjoy skateboarding. My favorite music artists are lil peep, Ghostemane, and suicideboys. My friends say that I am very adventurous and I’m emotionally strong.

(PART TWO) they also say that I’m not afraid to take any risks. I can be a bit stubborn at times, I have a hard time trusting people. My aesthetic is a dark grunge. I am an ambivert, I’m not afraid to dream big too. I am also very passionate about witchcraft. I don’t like too much physical contact. I am very protective of my personal space unless I am with someone I’m very close with. Thank you! <3

Harry Potter:

I ship you with Regulus Black!

now, at first this may not seem like the best idea, but i’ve put a lot of thought into this and can say that this is a good idea

from what i gather about scorpios (astrology is not my strong suit) you are the stereotypical slytherin - bold, ambitious, maybe a little secretive... you definitely have the potential to swing either way on the villain/hero scale. you are sharp and intelligent, and more stubborn than anything else, but none of these qualities are necessarily bad. 

truth be told, a lot of these traits are sirius’ personality traits. you’re very similar to him, and therefore, very different from regulus.

where you are bold, regulus is cautious; where you are ready to jump into battle, regulus is patient; where you are defiant, regulus is flexible and goes under the radar; where you are prone to taking risks, regulus is calculated.... and the list goes on.

on the surface, the two of you look like you would never get along - and i’m usually not a fan of opposites attract - but i have some key points that i want to get through to help explain where i’m going with this.

(1) regulus has lived with sirius for his entire life, and since you are so similar to sirius in personality, he understands you really well. of course, he probably doesn’t like you right away, but he knows how you operate and either the teachers catch onto this and make you partners or some of regulus’ friends realize this and task him with getting you to go help them out.

(2) both of you could become either the villain or hero of the story. regulus is a bit of a tragic character, really, because with the push in the right direction, he could have made a lot of change a lot sooner than he did, and maybe the most cruel thing was the time stolen from him. he’s extremely vulnerable to influence, just due to his personality, and so had he been given someone who believed so adamantly in dumbledore and the other side of the war, regulus really could have been the hero - no need for harry potter to grow up, because regulus could have taken center stage and defeated voldemort himself, with the help of the order of the phoenix. from what i know about scorpio, slytherin, estps, you could have a very similar story. because you have all the determination and ambition to go one way, but you are also transformative and can turn with the right influence, and be adamantly the opposite. both you and regulus are perfect for redemption arcs or bastardisation arcs, depending on what influences you have.

and, since you are the more bold and steadfast, of the two, you would be a driving force in regulus’ turn to the good side - you would supply him with all of the confidence and practicality, and the two of you could have honestly stopped voldemort together, that’s in no way a joke.

(3) you are incredibly forgiving, and this is because you have faced the darkness within yourself, so you are not afraid of it when you it in others. furthermore, you are incredibly perceptive and intuitive, so even though you are slow to trust, you know deep down when you can trust someone and perhaps hold them at bay for a while until you are 100%. but when you’ve seen them, and this usually happens early on, you know. you’re just praying your not wrong. (but girl, trust yourself. you are among the most intuitive slytherins out there, and you are rarely wrong).

(4) you both think big! this is usually rare for an estp, but it makes sense since you are a slytherin. you both have goals and will stop at nothing to achieve them. when you and regulus know what you want, you get it, no matter the cost, and that’s really iconic of you.

something i love about you and regulus is that you will bring dreams to him. regulus has never really had the luxury of foreseeing an ideal future for himself, but you are not afraid to dream, and you can bring dreams to him. it’s definitely one of the reasons why he first fell for you - you talk about the future like it’s something meant to be seized, and you talk about dreams like they’re meant to become reality.

i also think that your stubborn side is good for regulus - he can often be gripped with indecision, but you will take the reins and soldier forth with the idea you know think to be the best. you are bold and direct and original, all of which regulus thinks he is not. you are the person that shows him he is, indeed, all of those things - he’s standing up to the dark lord, after all.

(okay, sidebar, but now i really want to read a series with you and regulus. you are fellow pureblood slytherins who believed in supremacist ideologies because you were raised that way, but in your 6th year at hogwarts, the two of you are forced to become death eaters, and slowly from there, you realize what the death eaters truly were - murderers and thieves and terrible, terrible people who are willing to do terrible, terrible things for no real end. and the two of you decide to leave together. you find the first horcrux and succeed in destroying it, and then the two of you start to fight against voldemort alone, until you eventually join the order of the phoenix and start to take voldemort down. in this version, there is no prophecy and harry potter isn’t the boy who lived because you and regulus take down voldemort yourselves. sirius, james, and remus both join your sides (peter can still be a traitor, or not, it’s up to you. same with snape - i feel like without the harry storyline he wouldn’t swap sides.) and we get the marauders plus you two destroying the horcruxes. can you imagine how great that story would be?)

okay i have rambled too long, let me give you some random headcanons.

as i have said before, regulus listens to music religiously so i 100% see the two of you listening to music while on the run, debating about who’s band is better.

and that’s another thing! you guys have debates like no other - it’s really a wonder the two of you care so deeply about each other, because to the untrained eye, you both look like you annoy the hell out of each other, and it’s very funny when people realize you are such good friends.

(oh yeah, enemies to friends to lovers. although now i get just friends vibes, but i’ve put so much effort into this match up.... friends or lovers. your choice)

i definitely think that the two of you have stargazed throughout your travels - regulus probably told you all about his family one night, when you’re looking at the stars, and you comfort him.

oh! since you want to be an actress, headcanon that the two of you have to go undercover as muggles for a while in your attempts to defeat voldemort, and you end up really falling in love with muggle movies, and after the two of you have a marathon one night (maybe you get a night off or something, idk), you talk about how you want to be an actress. and then, regulus prompts you to dream for him - what would this actress life be like, if when it happens?

and you spin an entire story for him, a dream - a hopeful one - without the war and the suffering, without magic and death eaters, where the two of you are happy - you as an actress, and regulus as a screenwriter, only crafting the most complex of characters for you to play.

and he’s pleasantly shocked that he’s in this dream of yours, and you confidently tell him that no matter where you go, he’ll always be there, at your side. “you can’t get rid of me now, you realize that, don’t you? you’re stuck with me, black.”

and he doesn’t say anything in that moment, but he thinks that maybe that’s not such a bad dream, after all.

okay, i popped off with this one, but now i really want this regulus story to be a THING,,,,,,,,,,, ugh. can you imagine how great it would be? okay, just imagine if it were a mini series and it had the greatest soundtrack ever, and the palate was dark greens and blacks,,,,,, i got carried away but can you imagine.

[luxfurem]

slam dunks this in here🎰 also lmk if u need a list of my muses, cries, i know there's a lot

this randomized ships meme. / not accepting. | @gildedscripture

lowkey this took two days, i’m not going to do this again adgjdfgfd. anygays, here are the candidates:

gildedscripture:

lisa

nemesis

ai

misa

howl

khrysophos:

Alice Longbottom.

Rheanys III Targaryen.

Harshaw.

Nikolai Lantsov.

Theodore Nott.

lisa & alice: gryffindor kids. alice is, as a matter of fact, from germany, so all i’m saying is exactly what i’m saying here. she was born in germany, went to durmstrang for a short period of time, but after her father died, her mother moved back to england and she was sorted into gryffindor belatedly. they could at the very least be friends based on having that in common, OR, you know, be a powercouple, where alice is that badass auror, and lisa… well i don’t know what she does in hp context, but we can talk about it :)))

lisa & rhaenys: honestly dunno where to start. rhaenys is my dornish dragon daughter with a determination to get back her father’s throne from the usurper. she survived the sacking of king’s landing because she was whisked away by someone. she grew up in dorne, raised by her uncles. we can totally talk about other verses! i think the two of them would totally get along because they’re both kind, easy to befriend, readily smiling, that kinda vibe? rhaenys can be ambitious and driven but she would never be unkind for no reason --- she’s much too smart to make enemies like that, anyway.

lisa & harshaw: oh man. harshaw is a silly one. he’s an etherealki, basically he controls fire. bit of a pyromaniac, but he won’t burn anyone. he just really likes fire. has a pet cat. don’t think he’d like all the dogs she has. i don’t know how well she’d handle his unusual actions? he’s not a bad guy, though. can be relied on. does she need a firemaker of sorts? he’s a simper. he’d probably simp for her, easily. powerful women make his dick inflate a little. i dunno what else to tell you.

lisa & nikolai: so? honestly? it could be either/or. nikolai OOZES confidence, like. you haven’t seen a man ooze confidence the way nik does. he’s prince-hiding-as-privateer in his own world, and in hp he is a ravenclaw who leads a guerilla movement against death eaters that’s a little different than the order. he’ll do anything for his people, really. he’d try to get into her good books, especially if she could help him in his endeavors, but he’s not cunning or underhanded about it. i think his attitude could amuse her? business partners?

lisa & theo: see. theo is… he’s a loner. when you get on his turf and he doesn’t want you there, be prepared for a volley of sarcasm or just plain closed-offness. he struggles with his asexuality and how to put it into words, and as a result is hard to befriend. his type of kindness is a sort of aloof kind. it’s simple and without comment. making sure you drink by placing a waterbottle in front of you, reminding you to take your meds, that kind of stuff. he likes kind people, so lisa would probably at the very least not bother him. friendship-wise, something sibling-y could definitely bloom if given the time and energy.

nemesis & alice: unlikely gryff/slytherin friendships? nemesis is technically older than alice, so there’s that. gosh idk where to go with them. pls help me out.

nemesis & rhaenys: uhm….. slytherin friendships! or wink-wonk-yness. they would probably get along? rhaenys is very outspoken, but to the people she thinks she can trust. nemesis would probably be one of them? could prove interesting.

nemesis & harshaw: he wants to know if she wants to pet his cat. her name is oncat. the cat is cute. maybe next up they can advance to her petting him? on his head!!!! i have no idea. he’s a bit of an oddball, say luna but with a… love for fire. 

nemesis & nikolai: nik will be sweet to her, esp if she isn’t too deeply stuck in pureblood ideals. he’s the type of person that tolerates the “nobility” bc he needs them, being prince in his own verse, but he’s very much a forger of his own path, a man of the people, and yeah… 

nemesis & theo: i mean, does she want a silent but solid presence at her side? theo’s her man. he wouldn’t bother her i suppose. also nemesis being way older i suppose would mean a different dynamic, unless we’re talking aus here? i dunno. god i’m shit at this.

ai & alice: do i think alice would contact ai for some vengeance, the cost being her own soul? hell yeah! send voldemort to hell, ai, the world will be better off. alice would be a little intimidated, but she’s a lioness so she wouldn’t let it show afgfdgd. 

ai & rhaenys: rhaenys would try to figure out a way to have ai’s type of vengeance without it costing her soul. wouldn’t work, i assume, but not for lack of her trying. they’d get along, i think? rhaenys would be kind to her.

ai & harshaw: harshaw saw she can throw fireballs and they’re instantly best friends. that’s just the way it is now. they’re pals, besties, a team. she throws the fireballs, he’ll help them along. oh hey, ai, did you know he has a cat? lmao.

ai & nikolai: first of, that rhymes. i think nikolai would find her very interesting, but wouldn’t be too interested in her services, mostly bc he’s got more than one person in his way in his verse and to sell his soul for just one when he can figure out other means to thwart them… seems useless to him.

ai & theo: they’re both closed-off people. i suppose they could get along in silent companionship. he’d be scared of her, tbh, if he knew what she was/what she does, but still, silent solidarity is a strong motivator? 

misa & alice: gryffindors! GRYFFS! alice wants to protect her tbh. she’s so sweet! i wonder if alice knows better than to see her as just dumb. that it’s an act of sorts. in any case, alice can be the butch-esque girlfriend misa is looking for, is all i’m saying.

misa & rhaenys: rhaenys would… tolerate misa, but the dumb act is lowkey getting on her nerves. still, so long as she’s not opposing rhaenys in any way, shape or form, all is good! so… so yeah, that’s the tea here. sip sip.

misa & harshaw: they’re both edgy. a little oddball-ish. does she want to see his cat? god i need to stop with that joke. anyway! uhm. they can get up to some shenanigans. he thinks she’s sweet, and cute. not his type but that sentiment goes both ways so there’s that. 

misa & nikolai: nik doesn’t have it in him to be mean to her. he’s observant enough to have a guess that she might not be so airheaded as she pretends to be, and he admires her for that. i don’t know how well they’d get along, nikolai is always busy, learning, helping. could prove to be interesting, i suppose? 

misa & theo: theo probably thinks misa is a little annoying, he doesn’t really know how to talk to her without feeling like it’s kind of empty. this could change, though, they could learn to get along. i feel like it’d take a lot of time and a lot of patience, perhaps an incident that would help them understand each other a little better, that kind of jazz. 

howl & alice: see i feel like this could either be the greatest success or the biggest disaster. howl being flamboyant versus alice who is straightforward and sassy, either they hit it off immediately or they are arguing the entire time. alice definitely wouldn’t put up with some bs, being upfront with him, but maybe he needs that?

howl & rhaenys: she’s fascinated by his magic, thinks he’s a little extra but it makes her laugh? so in a sense, that couldn’t be bad. since she’s a targ, she’s fireproof? that’s her trick. hope he likes it. oh and she has a special bond with dragons, maybe he thinks that cool, too. teach her some magic, she wants to know. for innocent reasons, no like… overthrowing usurpers, no no!

howl & harshaw: a wizard with a fire-demon versus an etherealki with a fire-obsession? what could go wrong tbh. howl will have to put up with the cat but i’m sure he’ll manage. i think they’d get along? harshaw is odd enough to catch howl off guard every now and again. maybe do keep an eye on him, though. wouldn’t want him to accidentally set a fire.

howl & nikolai: they’re both flamboyant and blonde, i feel like they might as well be the same person, except one is a wizard and the other is a prince. nik isn’t as dramatic, but he’s still kind of extra. thinks very highly of himself, always has a comeback, a backup plan. i have no idea what kind of relationship can come from this, but i feel like they’d get along, somehow. just bc they’re so similar. they could potentially trip over the fact that nik is very duty-oriented and howl avoids active duty? or the draft, rather.

howl & theo: if howl can drag theo out from behind his walls, all the power to howl tbh. either i imagine howl will be frustrated at the lack of response to his antics, or he’ll try harder? hope howl likes getting dragged fgdgd. maybe they’ll drag each other. i’d pay money for this tbh.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball 113

Now that Emperor Pilaf’s crew is out of the way, King Piccolo can finally get down to business, which is conquering the world.  

Piano tries to brief Piccolo on the current geopolitical situation, but Piccolo just zaps his whole Powerpoint presentation.     I really like Piano as a character, and I’m not entirely sure why, other than that he sort of reminds me of some of Jabba the Hutt’s entourage in Return of the Jedi.    Functionally, he’s probably like Bib Fortuna, but he talks like C-3PO, and he sort of feels like a team mascot, like Salacious Crumb. 

Also, the dynamic between Piano and Piccolo is kind of interesting.    Piano speaks much more candidly to Piccolo than anyone else, indicating that he’s a close and trusted advisor.   Presumably, Piccolo created him just like Tambourine and Cymbal, which means that Piano is exactly what Piccolo wanted him to be.    And yet Piano doesn’t seem to quite fit Piccolo’s plans.   He tries to act like he’s counseling a real king, but Piccolo’s military and domestic policies essentially boil down to “Break Stuff”.   

I think this points to King Piccolo’s defining character trait.  He’s a horrible, merciless villain, sure, but I think what sets him apart from the others is that he’s a bitter outsider who wants to punish everyone on the inside.   That’s why he wants to topple the legitimate king and usurp his throne.   The Red Ribbon Army was content to establish their own power base someplace else, but Piccolo wants the recognition.   He wants people to know that he’s part of their society--the top part-- whether they like it or not.   

So with that ambition comes this attitude that he has to make himself look and feel like a real king.    That’s why he surrounds himself with advisors like Piano, that’s why he sits on a throne, and that’s why he wants to move into King Castle.   I don’t think any of these things actually helps him accomplish his goals, but when your goal is basically “Break Stuff”, I guess it doesn’t matter.   King Piccolo doesn’t isn’t really interested in the final outcome of his reign, just so long as he gets to have authority that he can abuse.

As the pair cruise into the city surrounding King Castle.... You know, I’m just gonna go back to calling it “King’s Castle”.   Funimation added the possessive, and I’m starting to see why.   It just sounds better that way.

Anyway, it’s the 20th anniversary of King Furry’s reign, so there’s a big celebration with fireworks and a parade and so on. 

A lot of this episode is designed to set up King Furry as a counterpoint to Piccolo.    He’s everything Piccolo isn’t: modest, peace-loving, a dedicated public servant.

The catch is that King Furry’s record sort of contradicts a lot of the lawlessness we’ve seen in Dragon Ball leading up to his introduction.   Characters like the Ox King, the Red Ribbon Army, and Mercenary Tao seem to be able to do whatever they please.  I’ve always interpreted this to man that KIng Furry may officially rule the entire world, but he has a hard time enforcing his policies in the periphery of his kingdom.  

To be sure, I don’t expect King Furry to be perfect.   It’s likely that the world was a lot worse off before he assumed power, and the peace and prosperity his subjects are celebrating is a relative thing.    I just find it odd that the Red Ribbon Army was a Big Problem just three years ago, and everyone in this episode is acting like that never happened.

Meanwhile, in the Land of Korin, Goku’s planning to seek help from Korin at the top of Korin Tower.   But he’s all beat up, so Bora suggests that he rest for a few days before making the climb.  But Goku can’t wait, so he says Yajirobe will take him up.    Yajirobe refuses, until Goku tells him that there’s Senzu at the top of the tower, and it’s “Wizard Food”.

This leads Yajirobe to imagine a cereal mascot making giant food items appear out of thin air.   See, this right here is what all those Harry Potter movies should have looked like.   How hot would that be?   Dumbledore fights Voldemort, and they just keep trying to crush each other under giant pizzas and hot dogs.

Bora offers to help the boys out by doing a Fastball Special.   Only it’s even cooler than a Fastball Special because he’s gonna throw two people straight up.

I can’t believe Dragon Ball topped Harry Potter AND the X-Men in this one episode.   Well, actually, I can totally believe it.   This show rules.   Yajirobe grabs Goku’s butt, and Bora grabs Yajirobe’s butt, and we’re off to the races.

Of course, the animators sneak in plenty of upskirt shots of Yajirobe.   Wotta buncha perverts.

Once they’re as high as they can get, Yajirobe starts climbin’, crying out ORAORAORA as he goes.   Wow, a JoJo reference too.   This episode has everything.

Back at King’s Castle... uh... City?   Kingscastletown?  Castle City?   I think I’m gonna start calling it that.

Why are all these soldiers wearing pink?   I mean, they look all right, but they have a real ice cream truck vibe to them.     This makes me wonder if ice cream trucks in this town are Hum-vees driven by army guys in pixelated cookie-dough camo.    That’d be pretty badass.

So Piccolo’s ready to start invadin’.   First thing he does is T-Pose for dominance, and then he drops right on down on King’s Castle.

This guy at the gate tells him he can’t go in, and he has a gun, so Piccolo gives up and leaves.   And that’s the end of the story!   Kind of anticlimactic, but it’s a pretty daring way to wrap up a saga like this.   I think the moral here is--

Just kidding, Piccolo stone cold murders all the guards and just wanders through the castle at will.   Also, Piano finds a bag of chips next to some guy’s corpse and just picks it up like a crow.   This show is amazing.

Meanwhile, Master Roshi and Chiaotzu are still dead.

I feel like Tien’s sort of wasting time here.  I guess the last couple of episodes have taken place in roughly real-time, so it’s been maybe about twenty minutes since Piccolo made his wish?   That’s kind of nuts when you think about it.   But it feels like TIen’s been standing around all week.

The rest of Dragon Team finally arrives, and thank goodness Yamcha’s changed out of his blue tank top and short-shorts.   That outfit looked terrible on him.   Launch, of course, is still wearing her cool outfit from the Tien Saga, because you don’t want to mess with perfection.

So, just to be clear, Master Roshi is dead....

And Chiatozu is dead. 

Yamcha tells Tien that they need to team up to beat Piccolo.  Okay, time out, fantasy booking time.   What if they really did team up, and somehow they found out about the fusion dance, and King Piccolo met his match in... Tiencha!?

Like, TIencha would just instantly master the Mafuba, because he has Tien’s firsthand knowledge of the technique, combined with Yamcha’s ability to improvise moves like the Kamehameha and Spirit Ball.    But he’d be like, no.   No, this King Piccolo dude needs to pay.    So he’d wear him down with some Dodohamehas, and then polish him off with the Wolf Fang Volleyball Fist.    Then he’d cross his arms and shout “The Power of Tiencha!”

Then Tiencha would be made the new king.   Yamcha and Tien would rule jointly, but they’d use the fusion dance before making any important decisions. 

But no, we can’t do anything super mega awesome like that.  Instead, Tien wants to go off by himself and master the Mafuba on his own.   Yamcha offers to learn it with him...

But Tien tells him it would be impossible for Yamcha, since he’s never seen the move performed.  Well neither did Mutaito when he invented it, and so far he’s the only one who ever executed it successfully.

So Tien flies off on his own, leaving Launch to get all a-flutter over his stoic heroism.  Look, I get what they’re going for here.   This is Tien’s redemption arc, and Yamcha would just be in the way.   But this is a really dumb play.   Basically, Tien’s setting himself up to make the same mistake Master Roshi made.   Even if Yamcha doesn’t stand a chance of learning the Mafuba, he could still help in other ways, and if nothing else, he could be there when Tien tries it, and then if things don’t work out, he’ll finally have firsthand knowledge of the technique, so he can learn it himself.

Back at the parade, King Furry receives flowers from little girls from different parts of the world.   One of them is Suno from the Red Ribbon Army Saga.   I think this is the first time her hometown is called “Jingle Village”, and I really wish they had used that name back when I needed it.

Unfortunately, Piccolo blows up a bunch of heavy artillery at the castle, and the explosions finally disrupt the celebration, spoiling Suno’s big moment.

In hindsight, it probably would have been better to call off the rest of the celebration, but this guy in white only got word that a lone intruder was a the castle, and he thought tanks would be enough to stop him, so he decided not to interrupt the ceremony.   It was the wrong call, but I can’t blame the guy, since none of them had any idea what they were dealing with.   Now that he does know, he suggests King Furry leave the area immediately.

Furry really doesn’t want to do that, although he’s wise enough to know that his security chief is right.   Piccolo came her to get Furry, so if he can escape the city, there’s at least a chance Piccolo will follow him instead of hurting anyone else.

Meanwhile this huge dude tries to buy them some time.   From the dialogue, I get the impression that he’s the guy on the security detail they call when conventional weapons don’t work.    So at least King Furry’s staff recognizes that there are fighters in the world strong enough to resist tanks and guns.    It sort of makes me wonder why anyone still bothers with tanks and guns, though.   

Piccolo offers the guy a job, but he’s not interested.   It says a lot about King Furry that these guys are willing to lay down their lives for him, even against a foe this powerful.   This whole part of the saga feels like an inversion of Goku’s assault on Red Ribbon Headquarters, only now it’s a villain no-selling a bunch of good guys with guns.   But unlike the Red Ribbon soldiers, these guys are motivated by honor and loyalty, rather than denial and fear.  

To be sure, a couple of other guards see Piccolo kill this dude and they run away, but at this point, I’d say it’s the smart call.   There’s nothing left to defend here but an empty castle, and they’re way out of their league.    All they’d accomplish by staying is to die.

Unfortunately, Piano spots King Furry making his escape.

And it doesn’t take long for Piccolo to catch him.

Elsewhere, a kid asks his mom if there’s anyone who can stop Piccolo.

Suno knows someone.   

Yeah, Goku’s gonna come back and tear Piccolo apart.   You just wait and see.  

He just needs a little time to get his shit together.   Hang in there, world.

[margarittet]

Quick thoughts on 13x08

Disclaimer: It’s 6 am here after a sleepless night, so this is kinda rambly.

No special order.

- DEAN IS AFRAID OF SPIDERS AND IT’S CANON,

- Dean is 200% braver than me, I would NOT have put my hand in that opening (he also totally channels Audrey Hepburn in that scene)

- Dean has very strong thoughts on flowery Doc Martens, and I live for it,

- he also is the last person who should be mocking anyone for liking vintage stuff (when did the nineties become vintage, I feel so OOOOLD!) - Dean, you ass, if you weren’t this cute you would get your butt kicked regularly for being a snobbish hipster with your old car, your cassette tapes, your weird books and a jazz vinyl collection

- Dean is being objectified left and right in this one, by both boys and girls - it’s not cool, dudes and dudettes, please stop!

- Sam is a nerd who knows difference between basilisk fangs and gorgon fangs, and he would love to see your supernatural collection, thanks for asking

- Meredith loves her Harry Potter, doesn’t she? We had horcruxes in 12x05, Harry Potter general shoutout in 12x16, and now we have a couple of things that make us think about the series: the basilisk fang, the series of tasks to get to the price (including a blood sacrifice), also the fact that both Sam and Dean would fill the requirements of “the smart one”, “the one who’s been to hell” a’la Harry and Neville being both the boys who could fullfill the prophecy. Barth chose Dean to go with Alice, and open the safe, and Sam to go and deal with Luther. If he chose them less stereotypically, the outcome could be very different (we don’t know if Sam would’ve let Alice burn the bones i.e.), just as Voldemort chose Neville instead of Harry

- “Don’t get dead”, “You too.”, is Winchester for ILY

- how exacty did Barth get Dean’s number? did he get it from Asmodeus, off Cas’ phone? or is Dean’s number public knowledge in Hell now? did Barth inherit it with Crowley’s job? I NEED ANSWERS

- also, what is it with supernatural creatures coming to the Winchesters for help now? The witch Daniela last week, the demon this week? You know you’re famous when even the bad guys trust you more than their own kind

- you know Dean had a huge crush on Winona Ryder as a teenager, with her goth fashion and her black eyeliner

- the first clue for you, boys, should be that Cas in now talking to Sam about his work instead of making sexy eyes to Dean over the phone - Asmodeus seems to favour Sam anyway, every since 13x02. Right now, he probably knows it’s safer to call Sam than Dean while impersonating Cas, but I hope Dean will soon realize something is off

- I wonder if the fact that the spell was stolen from Cambridge has anything to do with BmoL

- Sam watches action movies to watch Catherine Zeta-Jones in tight costumes, and it’s canon

- Dean is ok with being called dumb, but not with Sammy being called dumb (but still, he is not just a pretty face apparently, thank you very much, somehow everyone is always surprised)

- “after Crowley I told myself: no more demons” - we all’ve been there, Dean, honey, we all have this one type of person we dated where we go “never again!”

- they are not gonna make Dean hook up with fake Wynona, right? Because that would be weird

- she also gives off a complete Charlie vibe which makes it even weirder

- somebody, please tell Dean there is no new “Game of Thrones” until July 2018 - I don’t want to be this person

- so now Dean got to be both a cowboy AND Indiana Jones in the span of three episodes - at this rate he will get to roleplay as a pirate, a spaceman and a Disney princess by the end of the season.

[cosmosogler]

hello everyone. today was friday.

i woke up and only delayed my alarm by 5 minutes even though i was very grumpy about it. i didn’t feel that light-headedness that i’ve been experiencing for the past several days so i took that as a hopeful sign that the extra 20-30 minutes of sleep was what i needed.

snoopy likes to start meowing as soon as she sees dawn crack and that wakes me up every morning for a few minutes. i usually just say “hi snoop” or meow back and go back to sleep, but it does disrupt the morning a little bit.

aw man. i was gonna talk about my dreams because they were different last night but now i can’t really remember more than a little bit.

oh, ok. there was some stuff about cleaning up after the dogs while trying to prevent dad from exploding anger-wise. and then... man, i can’t explain what was going on in ten minutes. there was an elevator that was rising alongside a skyscraper using an air current instead of a pulley system. the skyscraper is in a harbor with a sidewalk sort of dock hanging over the ocean. voldemort was waiting at the top. there were some other people in the elevator but i don’t remember who. they didn’t really... i don’t think they made it. i survived by playing dead, but i ended up falling in the ocean and washing up in the trash heaps. and there i was stranded!

i had a pretty leisurely morning, although i decided to call disability resources when i had about 15 minutes before i had to leave. it ended up taking the whole 15 minutes because the person on the other end seemed kind of out of it? so i had to rush out the door anyway even after giving myself enough time to lounge around.

classes were fine. all of my professors have accents that i have trouble parsing. also the building is kept at the most perfectly uncomfortable temperature i’ve ever experienced. by the end of second period i was fidgeting at my desk nonstop. it was mostly my fingernails that were making me so uncomfortable... they were making it impossible for my hands to sit right. the back of the chair was pretty rough on my back too.

immediately after second period we went in the lab for the ta prep. the instructor ordered pizza for everyone again, and once again i got a stomachache so bad i was dizzy for short spells. but what can you do. it feels wrong to reject free food, even though i did pack my own lunch. i can always save the non-sandwich parts for another day... i was kinda bummed that i didn’t feel hungry enough for my sandwich afterward though.

the prep period was supposed to run for 2 hours but because of the pizza it was actually the full 2 hours even though the lab was for vector addition. i liked the experiment well enough- i had to re-learn how to use a compass and work with the radial diagram and everything. 

after that i had a free hour so i pulled up my project app and did a 45-minute study session that i fell asleep at the end of. i don’t know why my brain shuts off as soon as i try to push it. it’s not that i CAN’T understand the material. but as soon as i sit and look at formulas my brain pushes the “no” button and i pass out. even in class! even in my favorite classes! 

i know physics is hard. i’m willing to put in the work. i can understand the material and i can make sense of the reading. but i have so much trouble putting the information in my long-term memory because i can barely hold it in my short-term memory. my brain won’t let me put in the work. and i know it’s not a lack of sleep thing because the whole rest of the day i was mellow but not sleepy. i got a full 8 hours, or pretty near it.

i’m frustrated about that.

after the third class i hung out with keegan and jennica and taylor and one or two other guys i can’t remember right now. i joked about pulling out the grad student list and memorizing everyone’s faces. in the lab i worked with dazhi. i didn’t know his name in the lab but i was afraid to ask. i heard it during roll-call the next period.

i have so much trouble understanding what the american students are saying to me. my brain just overloads when i try to figure out foreign accents. i feel like my train of thought is too loud or distracting and i miss tiny half-seconds of the conversation and that totally loses me, or i just can’t hear words and put them in my head and push out the words already flooding in from the back.

jennica really intimidates me. i can’t seem to figure out why though. i think it’s because she strikes me as very similar in mannerisms to the neighbor’s kid back at home, sierra. and sierra usually says what she means, but she uses a deceptive sort of tone. i haven’t figured out how to read jennica’s tone and i can’t figure out if i rub her the wrong way or not. i know laughing at your own jokes can be annoying...

taylor wears my patience thin pretty quickly during our interactions. he was wearing a shirt today that said “tsundere” and had a blushing girl in silhouette. yesterday he wore a shirt that said “anime is trash and so am i” which i thought was pretty good. we got into a disagreement basically the first day we were both on the grad discord channel though. he struck me as a very surface level reader.

i get along well with keegan though. he invited his girlfriend to watch the eclipse with us on monday and i did my best to back off to make sure i wasn’t coming on too strong or anything. i think that our friendship will even out to be more like how hogan and i got along back in undergrad. mutual complainers or something like that i guess. we made jokes about procrastination to the professor and he gave me a lot of material to work with joke wise. we agreed to maybe study in the department on sunday if i could convince the others and he sort of vaguely invited me to get tea with him sometime. 

harrison is also someone i need to keep an eye on. what i’m trying to do is spend time with everyone individually to figure out who i want to spend the most time with but i am concerned that some men might take the attention as an invitation. he’s nice enough right now but the vibe i get from him puts me on edge.

sorry i just wanted to organize my thoughts here. i’ve met more people of course. today rui (my and jennica’s officemate) asked to touch my hair since it is very curly. i let her kind of pat my head a few times but i wasn’t sure how to talk about hair so i just kind of stood there.

so i came home and put on an episode of taz and made dinner but threw half of it away because i lost my appetite. snoopy was very affectionate, bumping my forehead and running up every time she wanted me to scratch her chin. she sits on the table when i finish cooking even though she doesn’t shove her face into my orange juice any more.

then i did some computer stuff off my to-do list and knocked out about half of it. it was all pretty small tasks, not more than 25 minutes each (and most of them under 10). i also watched an hour-long thing on youtube which was perhaps not the best use of my time but i had a good time. 

now it’s 10:40, which is past my bedtime, but i wanted to spend some time reflecting on my social situation. i’ve been... basically incapable of letting trusting friendships grow naturally the last several years. i know that. every time i’ve bonded with someone the last five and a half years it’s been a conscious decision. it takes me like a year of regularly spending time with people to start considering them “friends.” but i feel like... i don’t have that kind of time right now. if i’m going to succeed in my classes (WITH ONLY A GRADES (!!!!)) i need an environment of people who are good studiers and also i have to like them. 

the main problem there is that i gotta bring something to the table myself and i feel like i’m just not there.

anyway, that’s what i’m thinking about right now. tomorrow i’m going to work out and maybe swim since i didn’t get to do much of that in the last month and a half. my incisions are getting smaller and less weird and bumpy to the touch. i also need to see if i can take some snoopy samples over to the vet even though that’ll be a long project. and i gotta run the grocery errands. good night friends.