#did u just use my full internet name

[wynnyfryd]

💖 2024 Steddie Fic Recs 💖

@thefreakandthehair and i were talking about how so many of the fics we can name off the top of our heads are from right after the show came out because we were still actively making rec lists back then, so:

in no particular order i present to you an incomplete list of fics i love that were published or completed within the last two months

short fics (<10k)

Found God In A Tomato by @beetlesandstarss 5.7k | rated M | fluff, text fic

syrupy sweet strangers to first date fic. without spoiling anything, eddie is a flustered cutie and steve is a fuckin' menace who's lucky he's so hot

he tightened he grip by @steddieas-shegoes 1.3k | rated E | crack not treated remotely seriously

Mickala beloved your commitment to the bit makes me wanna commit myself to you 💍

Slide It In by gayhandshake 1.8k | rated E | multimedia crack

another truly impeccable work of crack fic, i laughed so hard at the first image that i made it the icon for my private discord server

what's that sound? (there's a funny man at my door) by @jewishrat420 4.8k | rated M | spicy six text fic

laughed out loud at this fic so many times i really don't know what else to tell you. as a matter of fact, i went to look at my bookmark note to see what else i had to say about it when i read it, and my note just says "fucking hilarious i laughed out loud like 6 times" 💀 did not do not will never know what else to tell you except that the phrase "the goyim of gender" just randomly pops into my brain once every four or so days now

medium fics (10-20k)

In the Kitchen or the Tulips by @teddywesworl 44k | rated E | telepathic soulmate AU

this fic said "watch me flip this trope inside out like a freshly cubed half of an avocado" and then DELIVERED. i finished this fic and then stared at the side of my husband's head for long enough that he looked over and went "wtf are you doing" lmao hush baby i am contemplating the implications

they're going to send us to prison for jerks by @greatunironic 16k | rated E | social media AU

okay firstly the premise of this fic is so specifically and delightfully unhinged; love that i'm not the only one who looks at a random tiktok account and manically whispers to myself "there's a fic in there somewhere." secondly the execution is a 10 outta 10 outta 10 outta TEN

long fics (50k+)

Sneaky Link by @morningberriesao3 152k | rated E | onlyfans au

the sex is HOT the boys are dumb as goddamn ROCKS what more do you need? oh, what's that? you do need more? sick because this fic also has: the tags "cum slut eddie munson" and "everyone is gay (because i say so)", chrissy the homophobe slayer being the cutest little spy, and jason getting his ass whooped, like, spiritually. on a spiritual level. physically unharmed but that boy's soul is missing teeth do u understand what i am saying

podfics!

it was love, love alone read by @reena-jenkins 21min | rated E

am i technically reccing my own fic on my own fic rec list? you bet your sweet ass i am, i don't even care how tacky that is reena's performance is hilarious and deserves to be listened to at least 40 more times while doing the dishes

relax (lay it back) read by @flintandfuss 1hr 10min | rated E | yogi dom steve x sub eddie

listen if i'm already being gauche then i gotta include my internet wife's belated birthday present to me, like i gotta. morally and lustfully obligated.

Schiava by @teddywesworl read by aheada_lettuce 1hr 30min | rated E | kas!eddie AU

said it once already today and i'll say it again, i cannot believe one of the best reading voices i've ever heard belongs to a person i mentally refer to as fucking lettuce LOL anyway this read is incredible and i have listened to it Times(tm)

and lastly, if you want more recs (like, 348 more specifically), you can browse my full list of public st bookmarks here

[sanjisluvbot]

Isekai Yandere Strawhats x Reader

Masterlist

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

[ Check Masterlist for ch 9-19 ]

Sequel just uploaded 1

Life began to feel so boring. The days blended into one another and suddenly we’re in march. Staying up late catching up on your favorite show because there is nothing better to do right now. One piece was such a breathe of fresh air, full of adventure and characters that seem amazing to be around and explore the world with. You wished to be in the world where u can freely be who you wanted, the world where you weren’t shackled by the burdens of reality.

You’ve been around all the corners of the internet so you know of shifting and astral projection which is exactly what seems to be going on right now. Rewatching episodes leading up to the time skip around 4 in the morning till your eyes flutter shut. Suddenly the wafting scent of the ocean filled your nose. “ Is she a stowaway?” “ How have we just found her we haven’t been on land for over a week now”. You opened your eyes to the snout of a reindeer and other very familiar faces.

You sat up so fast knocking into the poor doctor. Panic set through you because the first assumption anyone would have is that they’re in a dream or— congrats you’ve finally lost your damn mind. “ Who are you people”.

“ We’ve got the same question for you”

“ well I asked first”

The blunt part of a sword was thrust into your face by a very angry green swordsman. Fear etched across your face you give him a once over. Zoro. To your left was Robin and chopper holding his snout on her lap. There should be absolutely no reason that you’re in this world with these wacky 15th century pirates from your goofy anime show. Your voice shakes as you try to convince the green haired man to stop threatening your life.

“ Listen this is surely a misunderstanding, I really don’t understand how I have gotten here and I’m not really too sure who you people are.”

Maybe if they think that I don’t know who they are I can figure out a way to get out of this mess without ruining the story.

“ What is your last memory before you woke up on our ship” a voice from behind spoke. Turning to the left at the top of the stairs was Nami with Sanji following behind her.

“ I was laying in my bed falling asleep and then I woke up here”

After that you were bombarded with questions, what’s your name, your age, if an 8ft skeleton can see your underwear and it nearly drained the life out of you. The sun was now beginning to set after such a long day of being interrogated by the crew you used to watch through a screen. The captain was sitting on the head of the Sunny watching the day fade away when he stretched his arm to you pulling you to sit with him.

It was quiet for a while and nerves began to set in. Does he see through me? I know a lot of people don’t give luffy the credit but he’s way more intelligent than you’d think. “ What is it like where you’re from y/n” he spoke as he turned to face you.

“ Very different.”

“ Tell me about it please”

The sun completely faded into night and the stars littered the sky while you told luffy about “ where you’re from” and he was absolutely entranced by the world he’s never been. You ended up telling Luffy the truth about your origins, somewhat about himself, there was just something so compelling and trusting about him you didn’t think nothing of it. You slept in the girls room next to Nami that night, thinking about the next step and getting home.

Was this really a dream or did your desire to escape mundane life make you shift into this world of unknown.

The next day you went to eat breakfast with the crew and luffy starts spouting all the things you told him the night before. With seemingly no thought behind his words as he swallowed everything on his plate, though his crew members all stopped to stare at you in confusion.

“ I thought you said you weren’t from here?”

“ You said you didn’t know how you got here”

“ Well I wasn’t exactly lying, I really don’t know how or why I’ve been transported into your world. I just didn’t want to scare you or make you think I’m crazy with all of this.”

Over the next few days you were beginning to settle with the crew, you spent hours getting to know everyone and having the most fun you’ve had in years. Nami and Robin were curious about your world and you were more than elated to tell them all the things you enjoyed. The boys liked when you played their silly games, Sanji was obsessed with everything about you and loved having you perched on the counter when he was cooking so you can serve as his taste tester.

Zoro only just began to acknowledge you after finding out you also had a love for drinking, it became really easy to bond with the man. You knew you had to go back but what’s the harm in spending time with such a loving group of people, it’s not everyday someone is given your experience don’t waste it being worried.

You were able to convince Nami to give you a blank sheet of paper where you wrote all the things you knew about shifting and astral projection. You’ve been with the crew over a week now spending every night trying to shift back to your world. Sometimes you feel close others are strangely disturbed by Robin and Nami whether they are sparking up a conversation with you or knocking things over which disturbs your concentration.

The next few days you began to see birds meaning you were finally reaching land, the sabody archipelago. You know the way this arch ends and you need to go home now before you spend two years on an unknown island doing who knows what because YOU aren’t a straw hat and you have no place where you can learn to polish your skills.

The bubbly island became visible and you’d be reaching it by midday, while you were sitting on the head of the Sunny with Luffy again he asked you his million dollar question.

“ Y/n join my crew” he smiled. Your cheeks burned and you had to turn away from the boy whose smile brightened all your days.

“ Luffy I would love to but—”

“ Great- EVERYONE Y/N” you clasped your hand over his mouth.

“ Luffy l can’t join your crew. I have to go home I don’t even belong in this world”

“ Why do you want to leave” sadness dripped from his voice.

“ Yeah, we’ve been having so much fun” the small doctor announced from the deck.

“ It has been very fun I’ll admit but I don’t belong here with you guys. I’ve got a whole life in my world— and a family and just so much to do.” You reasoned.

The rest of the day the crew seemed angry and distant, you simply couldn’t understand why. When they all found out where you really came from they said they would help you get home. During dinner that night you were seated between luffy and Zoro who barley uttered a word while hushed conversations were surrounding the rest of the table. It was insufferable and reminded you of elementary school when someone didn’t want to be your friend anymore and told everyone about it.

“ Luffy are you upset with me? I haven’t done anything wrong”

“ Why do you want to leave? You just joined the crew and were on a new island”

“ I never said I was joining your crew luffy”

“ you know the captain doesn’t take no for an answer y/n” Zoro chuckled.

With a huff you stood up everyone’s eyes landing on you. “ Are you all acting this way because you don’t want me to leave?”

“ Why would we want a crew member to leave us?” Nami’s voice wobbled as tears formed in her eyes. Are they serious? When did u ever agree or tell these people that you were a part of their crew.

“ Listen closely all of you. You have to understand I am not from here, I never joined the straw hats, and I don’t even have any powers I can’t protect myself.”

“ That’s why you have me Y/n-chwaaan”

“ ignore that idiot cook but you have Luffy and I, we wouldn’t let anything happen to you”

“ Who is an idiot you damn moss ball !”

A fight between the cook and the swordsman broke out and you would usually find everything hilarious but…

These people have convinced themselves you are one of them and they don’t want you to leave. You decided tonight will be the night where you will go home with or without their help especially because you already know what’s in store the next day. Laying next to Nami that night waiting for her breathing to even out so you can concentrate with no interruptions you hear soft sobbing.

“ Are you alright Nami..”

“ Y/n I know you want to go back but can you stay a little longer we all care about you and enjoy having you around. We really feel like you’re one of our crew mates”

“ Sure, I’m not missing anything important right now” lying is better than letting this girl cry all night. When her breathing finally evened out you were able to try again.

Eyes fluttering open you were finally in your own bedroom. It was just as you left it, your iPad paused on the intro to one piece and the sun was showing through your curtains.

I really did it.

Life began as usual but you had a newfound appreciation for all the little things that made life worth it. Friends and family found your new outlook pleasant and you finally felt like you turned on a new leaf. While you were getting ready for bed applying all of your creams and oils the Tv in the living room turned on.

Wealth, Fame, Power.

A chill ran through your spine, you haven’t watched the show in over a month in fear of being brought back into that world by some odd chance. Getting up to turn off the tv something in the hallway made a noise. The fear of someone or something being in your house had you clenching on the door knob for dear life.

Just open the door nothing is there you’re only scaring yourself.

Opening the door and walking down the dark hallway into the softly illuminated living room the episode of the strawhats finally meeting up after two years was playing.

“ My favorite arch I should rewatch soon”

“ Why don’t you live it instead?” A voice from behind hissed.

You felt your heart thumping in your ears as you slowly turned to be met with a very angry Captain.

——

Not proofread ! 🫶🏽

I was inspired by a similar stories I’ve seen down the tl hope you enjoyed. Pt 2 coming soon maybe

[dogbunni]

shut up. saiki k tumblrverse

0 notes

🍤shrimptextures reblogged

😊justnormalguythings Follow

#I LOOKED IT UP AND 69% IS THE AVERAGE SCORE IM SO MAD

2 notes

💟yuri2k reblogged

🗿nenjoriki Follow

ii. Jsshj; nsjsks)hæj

💟yuri2k

go off king!!!

#nendo did u fall asleep scrolling tumblr again #<- last time he did that he reblogged the same post 27 times in a row <3 #one time he fell asleep scrolling tiktok and posted a clip of him snoring lmfaoooooooo #real life #not aesthetic #sorry y2k babes i'll reblog some cunty lil jpegs rn #i just have to clown on my irls i kno u all understand💅

12 notes

💟yuri2k reblogged

😻chiyobangs Follow

rah rah fax machine

📿th3pu55yd35tr0y3r

aha i didnt know u were freakay like that 🫦

💟yuri2k

SHE MEANS LIKE THE HAIRCUT. BANGS!!!!!! LIKE THE HAIR ON UR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U DIPSHIT!!!!!!! KILLS U WITH MY EYES 💣💣💣

#stop being a pervert challenge: impossible #also omg chiyopipi!! i didn't know u had a blog #hiiiiiiiiiii 💗💘✨🍰🌸💐💖🥰🌷🌺🍒🍡👛🩷🍧🧋🔮🦄🌟🪷💗💫⭐ #dont listen to him he was cursed w no rizz

6 notes

📿th3pu55yd35tr0y3r reblogged

😻chiyobangs Follow

rah rah fax machine

📿th3pu55yd35tr0y3r

aha i didnt know u were freakay like that 🫦

#girl i'll fax on ur machine til u rah

6 notes

😐tanaka489

what the fuck is human pet guy

1 note

🍤shrimptextures

fukc it.i ccant stop thinking abt that one blog. normalguy. do u think he jnows abt human pet guy

#maybei am hsving a bental makebown

0 notes

💸thericherelonmusk reblogged fivefingerdiscount

🗿nenjoriki Follow

chair -> 💺

50,021 notes

💟yuri2k reblogged

🎤urinarytractinjection Follow

toumatome -> urinarytractinjection

Fear not friends, for I have only changed my URL. I remain the same [FULL LEGAL NAME REDACTED FOR INTERNET PRIVACY AND SAFETY REASONS, AS ALL TUMBLR USERS SHOULD DO, IN CASE OF DOXXING, PHISHING, BLACKMAILING, CYBERBULLYING, STALKING, ETC. CRIMES IN WHICH YOUR INDENTITY COULD BE DISCOVERED AND USED AGAINST YOU] that you have all known and come to love. For reasons undisclosed I will not be taking suggestions or criticism re. my new URL at this time. As always my ask box remains open (anon is always on, anonymous yappers- I desire you carnally) I will begin answering some of the backlog shortly ÒvÓ

Read more

💟yuri2k

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS URL

#SAY SIKE RN

24 notes

😊justnormalguythings Follow because you follow #normcore

#normalcore #normal #oranges #normcore #justnormalguythings

80 notes

💟yuri2k reblogged

☠️abysslblkflmedrgn Follow

‼️⚠️HELP⚠️‼️

do3s 4ny1 kno a GOOD 4rtist who tak3s oc commissionz??? i w4nt 4rt of my orv oc plzzzzzzzzz

💟yuri2k

i think @merartist is taking comms!!

#get that bag girl!! #not aesthetic #real life

2 notes

💸thericherelonmusk reblogged underagegunshot

☠️abysslblkflmedrgn Follow

my oc cld probz take yjh in a 1v1

🏍️underagegunshot Follow

what if i killed you dead

☠️abysslblkflmedrgn Follow

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

🏍️underagegunshot Follow

L copypasta

🐉dragons-locator Follow

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

dragons

DRAGONS LOCATED

#once again thinking about how much money I could make if I had Father copyright this copypasta #follow for more unethical capital gains pro tips #also I don't go here but ORV fandom seems uncouth and rabid #when I buy tumblr I'm banning these two specifically

37 notes

💟yuri2k

🎀dump him moodboard🎀

for anon <3

#omg an actual y2k post who is she!! #this ones for the girlies #kiss me instead #<- who said that #y2k #y2k aesthetic #y2kcore #y2k moodboard

170 notes

🍤shrimptextures

I AM NOT HAVING A FUCKING BREAKDOWN

0 notes

💟yuri2k reblogged

🌸perfectprettyplease

.

💟yuri2k

dm me babe 💕

#real life #not aesthetic

3,209 notes

🌸perfectprettyplease

.

#oomf is having a breakdown about a random blog?? #idk it's just a normal blog #they make relatable captions with stock images #worried about oomf :( #what do i do? #how do i reach out without sounding rude </3 #i just think someone should check on them #pppposts

3,209 notes

🍤shrimptextures

ORANGES?????????????? FUCKING ORANGES?????

0 notes

📿th3pu55yd35tr0y3r reblogged

😊justnormalguythings Follow

📿th3pu55yd35tr0y3r

SAIKI??????!?!??

7 notes

🗿nenjoriki Follow

Hi

📿th3pu55yd35tr0y3r

Hi

💟yuri2k

hi!!!

🎤urinarytractinjection Follow

Hello fellow tumblr user and real life acquaintance :3

🍎merartist Follow

Hi

🌸perfectprettyplease

Hi!

😻chiyobangs Follow

Hi

☠️abysslblkflmedrgn Follow

hi

🏍️underagegunshot Follow

Hi

💸thericherelonmusk

Hi

💰fivefingerdiscount Follow

Hi

😐tanaka489

Hi

Hi

[lovelie-ollie]

secrets. - jude bellingham

♡ pairing: jude bellingham x socmed manager!fem!reader

♡ summary: when jude is dating rma's social media manager and the internet finds out

♡ faceclaim: sullendin (on instagram)

♡ a/n: hello again<3 first time writing for jude! again im new to writing so this may not be too excellent♡ all the pics are from tumblr, pinterest and instagram<3

realmadrid

liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, y/nuser and 1,294,495 others realmadrid this is a jude victor william bellingham appreciation post tagged: judebellingham comments user1 jude be looking extra fine in a rma kit user2 HE IS SO???? i want him so bad im going insanee🙏🤧 user3 no other rma player is given a separate post like this🤨something is suspicious here... ↳ user4 bro chill its not that deep💀 the internet overthinks everything these days judebellingham damn i look good ↳ realmadrid you do:) ↳ user5 ?? ↳ user6 ??? ↳ user7 ???? ↳ user8 ????? user9 not jude and rma admin flirting- ↳ user10 hell no😭😣 user11 AND NOT THE FULL GOVERNMENT NAME LMFAOO

realmadrid 3 min ago

seen by judebellingham, vinijr, jobebellingham and 10,420 others *stories are no longer available*

y/nuser

liked by judebellingham, realmadrid, jobebellingham and 100,294 others

y/nuser and my man thank you to my man

tagged: judebellingham

comments

user20 she is so real for the 5th slide lmao😭 user21 she is so pretty?? user22 she can run a car over me and i'd still ask her to do it again user23 THE HARD LAUNCH IS HARD LAUNCHING user24 hottest couple i fear😍 judebellingham where did u get that 5th pic?? ↳ y/nuser pinterest hehe :) ↳ user25 she is just like us fr😭 user26 Y/N JUST GIVE ME ONE CHANCE PLEASE ↳ judebellingham no:)

user27 something lgbtqia+ just happened in me. now im y/nsexual🤭

judebellingham

liked by y/nuser, realmadrid, vinijr and 596,825 others

judebellingham my pretty girl tagged: y/nuser comments user31 brb im crying to sleep user32 "my pretty girl" SCREAMINGG 😭 user33 hey just wanna let u know that i just send over the adoption paper. please sign it thank you. user34 my parents😙 vinijr w couple user35 when will it be MY TURN?? y/nuser youre my pretty boi ↳ judebellingham 💕😙🥰 ↳ user36 no no y/n i swear i can be a better bf than him user36 they are both so perfect for each other its crazy😔 user37 me and who? realmadrid love you too😜 ↳ user38 oh yea i forgot y/n is rma admin ↳ user39 not her commenting by real madrid's official account lmfao ↳ judebellingham babe do u wanna get fired??

[6okuto]

Helloooo, your Ais and Mhin hcs are so nice omg! Can I ask for some Kuras headcanons, if you'd be so kind?🥺 Many thanks in advance💛

KURAS HCS 3

gn!reader | hello it's me :-) thank u vry vry much anon wherever u are I hope i reach u.... telepathically telling u i have done more hcs o7

nooo kuras don't have doctor handwriting noooo look at me... it's cursive and can be pretty but also the doctor handwriting curse :( /affectionate but if he's writing something for you he takes care to make it neat + makes your name look extra nice

kuras wearing all black instead of all white.... 😵‍💫like imagine him dressing up and you're staring as he walks past... and he goes to ask you a question, pausing when he notices your gaze evidently not on his face. he's amused by this obviously as he walks toward you and tilts your chin to make eye contact. your face feels warm while he teases you, tells you he's flattered you like his change of attire, but mind answering if you've seen his coat nearby?

writer who needs help with medical jargon and information and comes to kuras who's already expecting it after the 4th time. he hums and takes a few moments before casually replying with his thoughts. sometimes though if you're not paying enough attention, he says something super inaccurate (something about a heart disease when asked about a punctured lung) to see how much you write down before noticing

not very good at making playlists... or like, his music taste isn't very vast and there's a chance he doesn't know many artists in the genres you enjoy. he does try his hand at making one when he overhears it's a cute gift, but it doesn't end up seeing the light of day because he's unsure you'd like it ^^; he doesn't actually delete it though, so if you really wanna see it, he'll let you

^ feel free to make a playlist for him though! he'll let it play quietly as he works (so long as it isn't something that requires his full attention) and tells you his favourites the next time you see him :-)

! body doubling. nothing else to add

kuras offering to pay for you while out shopping.. you say he doesn't have to, but he says you've picked out something nice and you like it, so why wouldn't he?

i imagine that kuras doesn't really. keep up with...internet jokes and such... so if you're out with a friend and talking about something related, there's a good chance that his eyebrows are a little furrowed as he tries to understand. like, you know when there's a popular post going around and you say "did you see ___" and your friend immediately knows what you're talking about when you didn't even finish describing it. yeah he has no idea what's going on how did they pick it up so quickly

^ tries quite hard though. he does. but some memes have like 5 layers of lore and context and he just kind of sighs and laughs in defeat

also i think kuras might be a little nervous to meet your friends at first ^^; but intrigued/happy too !! he listens to you describe them so he can put names to faces (won't tell them what you said exactly, like he won't be like "oh, you're the one who..." but there'll be recognition on his face, and if it comes up he'll smile knowingly), plus he likes watching you enjoy yourself with them!

if you name your plushies he picks up all their names quite quickly. this also applies if you have a lot of figures/favourite characters! he'll notice if you've moved them around at all, and somehow remember one of their birthdays too?

there is a silly image in my head of kuras using a silly straw. like him working on some important document and sipping on it

^ also getting him to use cute bandaids and such... like if you cut yourself on something and he goes to get your bandaids and they're pokemon or sanrio. LOL. he finds it amusing when you ask if he wants some of your stash—you're always willing to share after all

you find out he's centuries old and start calling him old man. ask if his back hurts from his age And height or if he knew the dinosaurs (?? imagine they exist in the TS universe) etc etc. though watch out for any back pain jokes because if your posture is worse than his he'll throw it back at you :(

[honeyedmiller]

Hey love!! Do you mind doing a Pedro Pascal fic where his relationship with the reader is like Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively where they’re always roasting each other and teasing each other in interviews and on social media but everyone knows that they absolutely adore each other

y'all just keep requesting the cutest prompts ever I could CRY OMG. I love Ryan and Blake, hope u enjoy<3

warnings: some cursing, fluff, and loooots of sarcasm

"José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal!" You yell your husband's name loudly in your house, horrified at the video that was currently up on your Instagram for the world to see.

"Yes, my dear?" His head peaked around the corner. He was trying relentlessly to hold back a laugh as he saw the look on your face.

"What the hell is this? And when did you even take this?" You look down at the video of you with the most unflattering facial expression while you displayed less than subpar dance moves and sang in an off-key tone to 'Drunk in Love' by Beyoncé in your shared bathroom. The video already had three million likes, with the caption 'Drunk on my sexy ass husband's love. Like seriously. He's sooooooo sexy.'

"Dunno what you're talking about, babe." Pedro's body is in full view now as he gives you an innocent shrug, his brown eyes looking puppy-like.

You scoff and roll your eyes, shooting him a glare. "I don't get mad, Pascal, I get even." You stand up from the couch you were sitting on, walking tall as you maneuvered past your husband, but not before he gave you a smack on the ass.

You giggled at his advancement, running up the stairs as he started to chase you into your bedroom.

-

"So, what was that video of you on Instagram that went viral the other day? Tell us about it." The interviewer chuckled as they asked the question, looking between you and Pedro.

"My lovely husband here decided he wanted to prank me by posting that video of me on my page. I just kept it up because honestly, what's put on the internet will stay on the internet forever," You look at him and grin, "I'm surprised this old man figured out how to post a video in the first place." You smile sweetly at him and his eyes widen.

"Hey! I'm not old." He retorts, giving your arm a nudge with his elbow.

“Tell that to the iPad you carry around to text people back instead of your actual phone.” You stifle a laugh at his facial expression, covering your mouth.

The interviewer laughs at the back and forth banter and looks to Pedro to see if he has anything to say back.

“Wanna know why I posted that video? To show the world how long it takes you to get ready, sweetheart.” He squints his eyes at you and you scoff with a chuckle.

“I may take forever but I still look amazing as an end result, soooo I don’t know what you’re complaining about here.”

“Yeah, you’re not wrong about that.” Pedro rolls his eyes with a smile laced to his lips.

“You two often pull pranks on each other?” The interviewer asks, amused with the sights unfolding before them.

“More like just roasting the absolute shit out of each other.” Pedro extends his legs in front of him as he moves his arm behind you, wrapping his hand around your shoulder.

"It's all love, though baby. All love."

---------------------

a/n: I'm so sorry this request was so cute but I just got writers block lowkey and couldn't come up with any good roasts. forgive me anon I'm SORRY this was trash 😩

[sprinkleonthatcriticism]

I think the way this situation was handled by others (the one w/ damagedcoda6669) was fucking gross... Yippee ended up being bullied off the internet for existing, (I think he mentioned receiving death threats? Idk) and everyone has resorted to retreating Jack's posts w/ "#FreeTheFerret" to antagonize him (along with spreading actual misinfo abt everything going on)

Ppl should criticize Jack, yeah, but ppl should also take into account that Dragy herself isn't all that innocent or well spirited

The only reason a lot of this drama happened was because she followed the same cycle she has for years

>Jack has drastic change in internet activity

>Dragy comes out with allegations

>Death deletes everything

>"I'm done w birdie drama!!!"

I also think that she was influenced into making the allegations due to her involvement with Julian and others who've been known to be weirdos, some callout docs for reference

Callout doc of Julian by Jack with proof of Death being involved with Julian: https://archive.org/details/copy-of-a-general-julian-callout-doc.

Callout doc by someone else of Julian's other gross behaviors: https://archive.org/details/fran-callout/mode/1up

Not to mention a lot of the "evidence" used to claim that Jack is bad is shit from all the way back in 2020, which he already apologized for in his comeback vid and is rlly outdated (Dragy also tries to defend Malachi and Julian throughout her vid which makes me suspicious of her intentions due to Julia's history of starting drama to get off to it)

That's rlly all I have to say, what do u think?

CW// Zoophilla mention, SA mention, COCSA, Grooming mention

I know I said won't talk more about the recent Jack drama after that post but I'll respond to you anon with my thoughts. I do agree with what you said, Draggy isn't innocent either and I do kinda believe that she only brought up the cocsa drama because of Jack being in hot-water because he stolen back his cat (which, i wish people would stop saying that he is in the wrong just because Synnibear03's legal name was signed on the papers to own the cats, neglecting the fact that she given Skqrp to Jack and only took back Skqrp because of ya know being called out of being a predator, and people are also forgetting that ALLEGEDLY [please correct me if i'm wrong and it could be mis-memory] someone on twitter qrt'd Jack and admitted to being the one who encouraged a mentally ill person into the idea of stealing Skqrp back, knowing full well that Jack isn't in the RIGHT state of mind...) Which of course, led to Jack being harassed by everyone online who suddenly decide to take Synni's side because "Oh woe is me, "my" cat has been stolen!11!!! My cat has been stolen by a mentally ill homeless guy that had sexually assaulted a while back!! waah" and people also forget that Jack given the cat to someone else to hold onto until he most likely get a place to stay. Also the '#free the ferret' thing pisses me off considering Jack has already address that he never sexually assaulted his ferret.. he did admit to being close to doing it but didn't went through with it thankfully and people keep leaving out the fact that he was a minor at the time being groomed by Julian? A member of Dice? (i think, my memory is shit).

And yeah it's really gross that people harassed a minor that they claimed to be a "victim" of Jack off the internet all because Yippee says xe isn't a victim of Jack and said that what Jack was doing isn't grooming, so those who claim they care for victims should really shut their mouths and NOT talk over child grooming victims (like myself)....

People also claim to be for mental health until it's an adult having a literal mental breakdown on the internet (Jack posting a photo of a bunch of his pills before taking it down since, obviously) and instead of being concern, they scream "suicide baiting" because he didn't and i quote one of these people "Went through with it".

But anyways yes, I do also think Jack deserves to be criticize and he should address the shit that is happening just as properly apologized to Dragy for grooming her when she was 13 and Jack's 16.

[ggukkiedae]

BTS MIYA Kicks Off Her Solo Comeback With Exciting News

7:30PM || March 21, 2024

MIYA talks about her future plans during her comeback showcase!

MIYA dropped the album's pre-release single 'SHHH!' on February 14 as a sample for 'REPPIN'". Since then, ARMYs have excitedly waited for the album's release.

'REPPIN'" is an album that MIYA describes to be one that boosts the feeling of self-confidence while taking inspiration from people she sees as 'girl bosses'. Her examples include Beyonce, Marvel's Natasha Romanoff, Ocean's 8 Debby Ocean, Hotel Del Luna's Jang Man Wol, and Little Mix among many others.

The full-length album came out 6PM today, but Bangtan's Princess held a showcase for the press and a number of ARMYs at 1PM where she performed her title track 'DRAMA' and two b-sides as well ('bloodline' and 'whistle') as talked about her tracks, as we'll write at the end of the article.

Alongside her album release, MIYA released news of a tour this year, starting off in June. She noted that the tour "was actually supposed to be announced tomorrow, but I'm already here. I'll leave the details for the poster, but I'll be going on my first solo tour later this year, and I'm definitely going to focus on performing more recent songs! See you all in June!"

ARMYs flooded to the internet with the news, both excited over the new music as well as the possibility of seeing MIYA perform old songs again as well as other songs she had never performed before.

Are you excited for MIYA's tour? Read below to get a glimpse of what to expect from it from MIYA herself:

MY HOUSE (only until 2:03): "I wanted to open the album with something empowering that boosts that feeling of self-confidence and independence, you know? Also something that feels like pride for representing you and what's yours."

DRAMA: "This is the album's title track and one out of the four songs in Korean on the album. I'd like to say, like its title, it gives off a dramatic vibe in a way that practically screams 'main character energy'."

bloodline: "Writing 'bloodline', i tried to tap into the mindset of a girl breaking free from a toxic relationship. Of course, it isn't something I personally experienced in terms of romance because we all know how sweet and amazing my boyfriend is, but I pulled this a bit from when I got emancipated from my biological birthgivers. Only a little bit. Just the resentment."

egotistic: "I'd say that 'egotistic' falls along similar lines to 'bloodline' in terms of freeing and self/confidence. It has a more Latin pop vibe that I definitely have been dabbling in alongside other genres over my hiatus."

bet u wanna: "If there were one song on this album that would make you more confident when talking to a guy you like, I would think 'bet u wanna' is that song. Enough said, I think that pretty much speaks for itself."

got her own (with TXT Seri): "Seri was with me almost the whole time I worked on 'got her own'! She was really excited to work on something that celebrates female independene and just overall self-sufficiency, and I'd like to think we made a good anthem just for that."

grl gvng: "This is like a song I made with a bunch of my closest friends in the industry. I think namely NCT's Hannah unnie, TXT's Seri, Enhypen's Ari, Aespa's Ningning, Red Velvet's Yeri unnie, and Le Sserafim's Yunjin. These girls are some of the strongest I know."

shhh!: "You guys already know 'shhh!'. You wouldn't expect the album from the pre-release single, would you? Yes, I absolutely enjoyed the more mature concepts I did recently, so I carried it over with this in a more playful manner that shows certainty in one's own desires."

princess diana (with NCT Hannah): "Princess Diana was an icon in her time, and obviously Hannah unnie and I both grew up in England for a time hearing stories of her. This song was kind of us channeling her iconicness in a... not as elegant manner."

b.i.t.c.h.: "I know it's still a shock for many to see me include curses in my music, but I don't care. That's this song, you know? Taking the reigns of my own life because people will always talk, so I don't need to waste time trying to appease everyone at the cost of losing myself. It was a lesson hard learned."

whistle: "This is the last of the Korean songs on this album. Like the others, it's very self-confidence based with the more alluring calmer vibes. It's a song I particularly enjoy performing just because the choreography feels playful and upbeat."

7 rings: "The album closes with '7 rings'. We can't have a woman empowerment album without at least one manifesting song, right? This is the trap song to play when you're getting ready for a girl's night in the bathroom to hype yourself up."

taglist: @sunflower-0180 @seaoffangirling @yourwonderbelle @1-800-enhypennabi @kamiiyou @strwberrydinosaur @uraveragefangirlsposts @caratinylyfe @1-800-minji @one16core @kimhyejin3108 @chansols @akshverse @toriluvsfics @billboard-singer @stopeatread @allthings-fandoms @jammingjaem

drop an ask or a dm if you wanna be added or taken out of the taglist 🥰 requests are also open!

[still-not-over-transformers]

hey i saw that ur requests r open!!:)

i was wondering if u could write a general rotb mirage x fem (or gn ur choice!) human reader fluff oneshot? reader could be a lil antisocial n mirage is the only one that can help her feel better after a long day around people from work/school. i see a lot more mirage nsfw then fluff n i could use the comfort </3

Apologies for the delay, but finally finished your request. I hope it brings you the comfort I'm sure you both need and deserve <3

The Perfect Pick-me-up

ROTB Mirage x Female Human Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1500+

It had been an exhausting day for (Y/N). You had started your day by waking up at 5am, before heading to college to begin 8 hours of listening to lectures, taking notes, and struggling to find the will to live through this day. Despite multiple cups of coffee, you were absolutely drained of energy. The only thing that gave you the drive to push through was knowing you had a rendezvous with a certain Porsche that evening. Mirage had enough energy for the two of you, and it was hard to believe that he never seemed to get tired. The two of you had met a few months back...

*Flashback*

You had been walking home from an internet cafe a few blocks from your apartment, drained after working tirelessly on an essay. In your exhausted haze, you failed to notice a shifty stranger step out from the shadows, grabbing you by your shoulders and pressing a knife to your throat. Before the man could say or do anything else, the sound of engine-revving and tire-squealing pierced the night air. 

A silver and blue Porsche Carrera barreled down the street towards you and your assailant. At first it seemed as if the car would plow right through you, but instead it screeched to a halt and transformed into a tall blue robot. “Hey! Hands off the lady!” Mirage quickly approached you, causing the would-be mugger to run for the hills. “Yeah! That’s what I thought, tough guy!” Mirage glared in the direction of the mugger before turning his attention towards you, “You okay, sweetcheeks? That slimy jerk didn’t hurt ya, did he?” Mirage looked you over briefly with his vibrant blue optics, checking for any obvious injuries. “Well you look alright to me. Name’s Mirage by the way.” He flashed a cheeky grin and posed. “Oh um… my name’s (Y/N),” you stammered. “(Y/N)! That’s a great name. Suits you too.” He winked at you, “You uh… need a ride home? My treat.” 

*Back to Today*

Despite your exhaustion, you found the energy to make the trek back towards your home. You took the bus to your favorite internet cafe, the same one you had been walking back from the day you first met Mirage. You waited inside the cafe for a short while before hearing the familiar sounds of an engine revving and a series of horn honks. Exiting the building, you walked towards Mirage as he pulled up to the curb. The driver’s side door popped open, “Your chariot awaits, milady.” Mirage had a smug tone in his voice, clearly pleased with himself. You rolled your eyes before climbing inside the driver’s cab, the door closing behind you. Mirage started his engine before peeling out of the spot and heading onto the streets. 

“So how was school? Did you crush your statistics exam? Maybe cheated off someone else’s work? HA! Just kidding, I know you aced it on your own.” Mirage asked energetically, his mouth running a mile a minute. Don’t get it wrong, you enjoyed Mirage’s presence and enthusiasm, but you didn’t say much as you were simply burnt out from the day and weren’t feeling particularly chatty. After driving for a while, Mirage noticed how quiet you were and slowly pulled over on a quiet side street. “Hey (Y/N), are you feeling okay? I’m sorry if I kinda talked your ears off.” His voice was soft and full of concern. You paused and tried to shake any concern Mirage had, “Oh, no I’m fine. Sorry… I’m just a bit worn out from today.” 

Mirage had known you for a long time now, and even he knew when it was time to shut up and focus on your needs. “Heyyy don’t be sorry, (Y/N), you’ve had a hard day” the Autobot paused before an idea flashed through his mind, “I think I know the perfect pick-me-up.” Mirage restarted his engine and began driving. You weren’t quite sure what he had up his sleeve, but you knew Mirage always had the best intentions. The drive was quiet, Mirage merging onto the highway and driving towards a secluded area near the edge of the harbor. 

The sun was beginning to set over the water as Mirage came to a stop and parked. “Mirage, why did you bring me here?’ You asked, tired but still curious as to the Autobot’s intentions. “(Y/N), I know when you’ve had a stressful day. And I just wanted to take you somewhere nice and ya know… maybe just have a moment to ourselves,” Mirage spoke softly before opening the driver’s side door to allow you to exit. After you exited Mirage’s cab, he transformed into his Cybertronian form and slowly knelt in front of you, his bright blue optics leveling with yours. “You know I’m always down to listen to you, right? I know I may come off as 1.5 tons of sexy muscle, but I’ve got a soft spark too” he flashed a quick wink at you before noticing your body language, and reeled in the charismatic charm. Mirage sighed before turning his face away in embarrassment, “Sorry, (Y/N).” The Autobot shifts his frame to sit beside you, both of you facing the harbor and the view of the sun slowly sinking towards the water. 

You had wondered why Mirage had brought you to this location, hypothesizing it was probably the seclusion, being an area he could comfortably transform and not worry about being spotted by other humans. “It’s okay, Mirage. I can tell you’re just trying to cheer me up” you said with a tired but kind tone, “It’s just been a day and I’m burnt out” You sat on a patch of nearby grass and pulled your legs to your chest, looking down into nothingness. You were surprised at the sudden gentle touch of Mirage’s servo on your shoulder. Before you could turn to look at him, you felt yourself lifted slowly into the air, before finding yourself pulled against Mirage’s chest in a hug. 

Mirage’s arms cradled your small human body in his, drinking in your warmth against his metal chassis, “Sorry if I’m overstepping but I can tell you need this.” There were so many thoughts and emotions going through Mirage’s mind at that moment. He was overjoyed to have you all to himself and so close to him, but also had a pit in his gut that you would reject his attempts to comfort you. Primus, it would be so much easier if he could just punch whatever was making you feel so down. Mirage knew a lot about human pop culture and music, but the complicated social life and emotional tolls of everyday human life were a little harder for him to understand. He knew you didn’t have many friends and preferred to keep to yourself. It boosted Mirage’s ego to know that he was your closest friend, and both of you trusted each other completely. 

All of the Autobot’s thoughts ceased as he felt you press your cheek against his chassis, his optics growing wide as he looked down at you. “Thanks Mirage,” you spoke softly as you looked up into his optics. “It’s been a hard week. Midterms have been kicking my ass and I can’t stand this one group project. It’s just… not my thing, you know?” Mirage gently rubbed your back with one of his digits, “Hey, I get it. I’m not the best at working in a team either, as I tend to steal the spotlight.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle as Mirage’s had that charming, shit-eating grin on his face. “Why did you take us here anyway? Not that I’m complaining,” you asked, your eyebrow lifting inquisitively. Mirage slowly sat up, taking care to support you, holding you in one of his servos before setting you on his shoulder. The view before you was of the New York Harbor, the glow of the sunset reflecting off the water’s surface. The sky looked aflame with gradient tones of gold, orange, and deep crimson, and the colors shone through the tall outline of the city skyscrapers. 

“Honestly, I was driving through this area by mistake and then I saw this view… It was so stunning and vibrant and warm… and it reminded me of you.” Mirage’s expression was soft and kind of vulnerable, something not often observed of the usually confident Autobot mech. Mirage felt a surge of embarrassment and couldn’t meet your gaze, “Sorry, that must’ve sounded so cheesy…” The young mech froze when he felt you lean against him, settling your head in the crook of his neck. “No, it was cute” you said softly, a content smile playing on your lips. Mirage’s expression softened and a smile crept back to his face, “Well then, I’ll try to come up with more cheesy compliments from here on out.” 

The two of you sat there watching the glow of the sunset as time went by. Few words were said after this point, but they weren’t needed. Just sharing each other’s company spoke volumes…

*End*

Again, so sorry for the delay. I truly hope this brings you comfort and joy. :)

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Are you being completely truthful with your bio? You have a somewhat juvenile writing style even down to the ✨word✨ and your writing reference for male arousal is strangely written and a little inaccurate. Your obsession with objectifying and writing porn of real life men with wives and families makes you look like either a really creepy adult, or a kid that doesn’t know any better. Do you think it’s ok for a straight man your age to objectify a female actress in this same way?

Not to mention your pinned is from 2020 so you would have been 16 when you made the account that says “minors do not interact” in all caps

The mentions of collage are interesting as well, what the hell are you majoring in anyway? Did you forget to update your age and this is your last year? Or were you actually running an 18+ account while 16? And honestly I’m assuming you were probably younger.

Your alias is S.

You go by sir and but you use very cliché and juvenile language, “I’m more friendly than I look, I promise 😅” “I’m a dyslexic fanfic writer *existencial sigh*”

it’s got the same vibe as, “he’s standing right behind me isn’t he 😬”

Just don’t lie about this shit when you’re writing porn. You’re going to be prayed on. Just be safe with it and keep it on a private account.

I believe this ask and these following asks come from the same person or from affiliated people because they all were sent in around the same time and are all orbiting the same topics, so I'm looping them together:

"Hey man, how old are you exactly?"

"What r u studying? Writing I assume? But I feel like you’d be qualified to teach the class 😏"

"Are you planning on making an account solely for your art? You’re incredibly skilled"

"Do the names cate and Lillian mean anything to you?"

"Cate?"

If they're not all the same person or a purposeful group of people talking about the same things, then I apologize to the people I've tacked on to discourse, lol.

Shorter asks first:

I'm in my twenties, and I'll explain the vagueness there in a hot second when I get to the longer, opening ask.

I'm actually studying art, not writing, lol. Writing is just a hobby for me. Thanks, regardless! I don't think I'd be very good at teaching, though 😅 My writing process is a mess, and I'm constantly breaking so, so many writing rules, lmao.

Thank you! No, I don't plan on making a separate art account for fandom or for my actual, non-sketch, finished-piece artwork. I mean, I have art accounts, but they're purposefully not attached to my Tumblr because art is a hobby right now, but I'm planning on making it into my profession.

No? Should they?

No? I'm so confused, lmao. Are you assuming you know who I am, and that's the motivation of the pointed questions? Assuming I'm Cate or Lillian? 'Cause I'm not. If they're people/characters related to the Marvel/Seb Stan/Chris Evans, then I feel like I need to warn you that I'm often fandom illiterate, lol. I don't actually watch TV/series/movies regularly, so... I'm oblivious to a lot.

Okay, on to the longer, opening ask that started this saga of asks.

First, I appreciate that you are trying to keep people out of harms way. I do. Yet, aren't there less accusatory ways to go about it? Absolutely, full stop, I do not want minors--no matter if they're 17, so close to 18 or whatever excuse they may make--in the parts of fandom that are not appropriate for them. No.

However, I, personally, don't think accusing someone of being something and talking down to them, picking apart each little thing about their online presence will do anything to anyone who is already engaging in shit that they should not be. Maybe that's just my hot take, though. I can't say I have the answer about how to eliminate minors who shouldn't be around these places on the internet, though. Unfortunately.

'Cause, yup! I'm being truthful.

Often, I am vague on purpose. I do that because, by the nature of what I get up to on the internet living in a society based so deeply in puritanical views, it's easy to have shit used against you in the professional world. But, whether I'm being vague with personal information like my age, name, location, etc. while getting hyperspecific with sexual shit, I'm still honest.

And I don't know if I need to specify this or not, but just in case I do, it says 20s with an s in my pinned post. Plural. As in 20-29, the range of being in my 20s. I'm in my 20s.

Yes, my pinned post is 4 years old at this point, so maybe I sound more juvenile in it because it's been four years since I wrote that. I have edited parts of it, but not everything. Also, yes, I was 18--closer to 19, but still 18, nevertheless--when I started my blog. So. More juvenile then, definitely. Hell, you're allowed to think I still sound juvenile, too. If you want. You're entitled to your own opinion. If you don't like the way I sound, though, just don't read my stuff. That's simple.

And it bleeds into the idea that I sound inaccurate. I am inaccurate sometimes. Definitely. Not everything I write could I replace myself with whatever character or person I'm writing about and feel like it is accurate to how I would feel or respond in that situation. But, the thing is, for me, that's the allure to porn. That's the whole thing. Porn is fantasy. The way I describe shit isn't literal all the time. It's about conveying feelings. It might not be your experience with feelings of arousal. Cool. Great! Differences are good. Feelings aren't objective. Again, if something about my writing makes you feel weird or feels too unrealistic to your experience, you don't have to read it.

As far as the ethics and nonethics of writing about real people, I've discussed that before (one, two, three), so I won't go into that now, but I would be interested to dig into your notion of how my actions may stack up comparatively to a straight man objectifying women.

I would call myself a feminist. I am always trying to learn more about how to be a better, more intersectional feminist. The swapping of me, a cis queer guy, sexualizing/objectifying other men with a cis straight man sexualizing/objectifying women does bring up very strong feelings in me. It does feel distinctly creepy to me. However, I can point directly to the reason why: it feels much more threatening for a man to talk about women like that. Obviously, not every man is terrible and means to threaten sexual violence to women, and women aren't delicate, helpless little things that must be protected at all costs. However, yeah, like you're getting at, it does feel different, and I have to sit with that to parse out why and what I want to do about it.

Interestingly, though, because of my experiences in the parts of the queer community I frequent, I feel relatively desensitized to mlm sexualization. Like, it's just part of it often, so much so that it goes unnoticed to me. Which, I can understand how people then pick up pitchforks and say no!! You can't do that! That's part of the problem! Or, why does everything have to be sexual with you!! But... that, to me, slides into the censoring, no-kink-at-pride type of discussion that I am not so interested in having at this juncture. There need to be spaces where children are welcome. Yes. There also need to be separate spaces where adults are allowed to be open and honest with all sorts of emotions, including the emotion of horny in a way that's safe and sane and consensual.

I will also note, because it feels worthy of mentioning here, that I have boundaries with sexualization. Real life and online life are different. I'm honest in both, but the rules and behavior are different, y'know? There's nuance to be had.

I don't talk outside of Tumblr the same way I do on Tumblr. Real life is very different to fandom etiquette. Which, I acknowledge that a lot of fandom--historically and presently--is women. Not totally, of course, but a good chunk. Women are objectified exhaustively in our society. So, personally, I feel that it is more than fair for them to then turn around and objective men some. Ever since getting into fandom, I've emulated that because it's the culture here. I've picked it up without really realizing it. Does that mean I feel like it's as fair for me, a man, to take up space in a traditionally women-populated area that's often described as a safe space and co-opt the slang? No. It's not really mine to adapt. Perhaps I should look into that deeper or acknowledge more than I do that I stand on borrowed ground.

Amongst that thought, though, is the realization that I don't talk the same offline because when I'm in the fandom space, I feel a little bit of my traditional socialization come undone. I'm a man. I was raised to crush down emotions and be strong and steady. Sure, I'm a 5'6" twink looking motherfucker, but I'm still a man, and still, strong emotions I might show in real life are met with confusion at best.

Strong emotions like anger or even noticeable, perky excitement when in public do not get a great response. Anger, understandably. I'm very aware of that. I'm not an angry guy, I grew up around a lot of angry people, I know it's frightening--especially when men get angry. I don't think I'm particularly threatening when I do get frustrated, but still, the few times I've been visibly upset like that around people in public, I can always feel women particularly shrinking away from me. It's just not acceptable. But, excitement. Even excitement or other positive emotions rouses discomfort from others in public.

If I express strong excitement or happiness to people who aren't my friends, people in public, I get reactions, too. Women tend to look at me strangely, as if there's something weird about me. That changes if I out myself to said women because it's more socially acceptable to be exciteable or positive if you're queer. Now, men brush me off in that situation. As a kid, that was not allowed because, what are you gay? Why? Why are you excited about anything? Pfft. That's for girls.

So, all is all to say, I don't talk the way I do on Tumblr. And perhaps that excitement/obvious horniness/whatever strong emotion that I do express on Tumblr comes across as juvenile or unmasculine to you. Maybe that's what you're picking up on with my apparently juvenile tone? I don't know.

That all sounds like I'm saying, poor me, it's so hard to be a man, feel bad for me, but what I'm doing is trying to explain where I'm coming from, why I express that way, and how it's different from my behavior in real life. You're still allowed to think I'm hypocritical and creepy, like I'm allowed to explain myself and do my own thing.

Again, I was 18 when I made my blog.

As for what I'm studying, I'm working toward an MFA right now. As it states in my pinned post, I'm dyslexic. Part of my journey in higher ed has been learning--trying to learn, at least, oof, it's not always going well--how to go easier on myself and not stress out over not being able to keep up all the time with my peers who aren't dyslexic. I'm trying not to feel dumber and feel like that's a terrible thing. So, I took a lighter class load when I got to college to go my own speed, I don't take summer classes, and then I fucked up shit with my transfer degree. Meaning, I'm a whole year, almost two, behind with the "average" track. That's why it feels like I'm stuck in college purgatory, lmao.

I use S because it relates vaguely to my real name, that's all.

I offer that people can use "sir" to refer to me because I, personally, like power dynamics in sex and my blog is about sex a lot. I don't feel like "daddy" fits me, sure, partly to do with my age, but really, daddy is a mindset, lol, and it strikes me as much more nurturing and romantic mindset/dynamic. I don't feel like that fits me. I like something stricter. I used to think I was a stone top, lol, and while I don't feel exactly like that anymore, I certainly don't feel as kinky-soft as "daddy".

Sure, that's maybe cliche to say. Cool. Personally, it doesn't strike me as juvenile, but clearly, it does to you, so... okay? I don't know what to do about that? It's just how I write.

Also, it's very amusing to me to accuse someone of lying while choosing to remain anonymous and disconnected from your own blog that, hopefully, contains your age/age range within it.

Reiterating: I think it's good that you want to keep minors out of the places they shouldn't be, I do. That's admirable. It's dangerous for the minors that do step foot in 18+ spaces as well as dangerous for well-meaning adults who unknowingly interact with minors masquerading as adults. But you're barking up the wrong tree.

You're welcome to say that writing this whole thing is defensive, clearly juvenile, and proves your point if you like. (Maybe, fine, I am a little offended to be told my smut sounds like a child wrote it because... yikes. So, I'm defending something there.) Still, I was interested in diving into some of the things you brought up 'cause I think about some of that a lot. Especially about my place in fandom as a guy. I try very hard not to be the creepy guy in the corner 😬

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Okay I've read through the entirety of the Yves tag and I've come the conclusion, and I'm speaking for myself here: we ain't compatible ✨

And I know the response to that would be "well he did all this research on you, he can just change himself to be compatible" and that's exactly why this cannot work. I don't want what he thinks I want, I want the truth. I want the real, unfiltered him, but he would never give that to me. He would fold and play a character and that doesn't sit right with me, especially if I ever find out about his database. He's just a liquid taking the shape of my container. So squishy. I need a fellow solid.

All this talk of him providing for you, listening to you, comforting you. Relationships are a two way street, when would he ever let us provide the same things to him? I wanna rub his back when he feels it ache, I wanna hold his hair up while he voms in the toilet, I wanna cook him soup as he lays in bed sick, I wanna hold him in the night when he gets nightmares, but he never lets us in on anything about him!

Also his way of finding information about us doesn't hit the spot. Why are you asking my relatives questions and snooping through my Internet history? I'm right here! Ask me! This circles back to what I said before, I want to know about him the same way he wants to know about me!

And even the real parts of him that he does share, I'm not compatible with! I'm not okay with not knowing anything about him like his age or last name. Even if he was an eldrich being, I wanna know! As his s/o I should be the one person in the world who gets to know!

And he doesn't want children, so I would never have a child with him, because I do not want to bring a life into this world of they will not receive the full love of both parents. But I want children. And he would give me children if I want, but I don't want them if he's not going to be a loving parent, and if he's not going to be a loving parent, then I will raise them by myself, and if I'm raising them by myself, I might as well not be with him. So the simplest answer is to not have children in the first place. But I want children.

Another thing is the house. He dislikes it when we change anything so he has an extra room for us to do whatever we want in. This does not set well with me! This is not our home, this is HIS home and we just get a little corner to ourself. What's the difference between living with him and living with your parents? Now I could express this to him, and he might allow us to add things to the rest of the house to make it look like there is more than one person living here, but we know that he would hate it not being in the pristine state it was in. I don't want to make him uncomfortable in his own house when he pays all the bills and owns everything. So I won't ask that of him. But I will be miserable.

And god dammit if I bite you, I want you to bite back! I want to rough house every once in a while! I want to argue! I want everything you have! Not just what you think I like! And if you can't get me that, then we're gonna have to call it quits! Take that into consideration for your research!

"but he's a yandere" then I hope he's happy with me being miserable! (Once again, I am strictly speaking about myself. If you can overlook these things, power to you!)

well like he wont,, necessarily change himself entirely, like what u basically described is stuff that he is hard set on not changing, so the path of least resistance is changing you. n that is horrifying ngl and hot 2 me, so id say he has a squishy exterior like idk 3 inches deep, but then its pure solid steel underneathx

oh yea he lieks playing caregiver, he doestn necessarily hate being taken care of its just he thinkgs is unnecessary especially hes probably not human, and he is built that way bro like hes technically v v low maintenance!!! and eugh authenticity gross me out </3 like why be real when u can eat this ass like groceries ykno what i mean

mans will ask u stuff to like wanna know u thats for sure, the onlyy things is that he already knows what ur gonna say or determine what u said is half truth, lie or like an embellishment- so there's a huge illusion of trust there, he already seen the spoilers to ur life bro he just wanna watch the movie again from like a different website

no bro u got the child thing all wrong  😭 he is not letting you take care of ur child, like he will raise them even though he hates them , just in his special grotesque Yves-ness way, and yea i get it, to a lotttt of people the topic of wanting children is a deal breaker 4 them. I the author personally do not want kids hence my projection on him <3

oh yeah mans a control freak for his house , don't know if u read "yves in a nutshell" , but basically he's like parallel to a parent on the stricter side that mostly caters 2 ppl who have this flavour of daddy issues who wants a more controlling zaddyy in their life but he would be discrete about it

trust me man he will not sit there and be uncomfortable, he will straight up tell u what he thinks about ur decor but in a loving way, like negotiate with u to keep it in ur room, but if u insist on doing ur way he will resort to scolding, then finally: literal brainwashing

ough no mans does not like arguing he will fr go MKUltra on ur ass if ur the type to like roughhousing, Yves is literally a librarian that want no rowdyness, nuh uh he wants quiet

like fr the point of Yves is that he is the manifestation of obsessive gentle parenting featuring old school CIA torture techniques with a cameo of suffocating parental trauma, its mostly delicious to us parental issues people and i think ur seeing Yvess too much as a partner like an equal  when he is not meant to be an equal AT ALL😭 whereas he is ironically meant to be objectified to be confined to this one slave that is a caretaker, lover and a protector who knows how to say no sometimes

like fr thanks tho for reading my stuff, but yeaahhhh that is 4 sho ur not gonna be compatible with Yves or any of my OCs, like ur too selfless, kind, independent and loving for my Yanderes </3.

also are u by chance the one ghostliking my stuff

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Microsoft, you absolute fuckers. /BIG derogatory

So my laptop forced an update, I've been trying to figure out how to get around this one but nothing worked. I've spent three days trying to make it let me shut down without updating. I finally had to restart it (and the only options were to shut down With Updates) because it started freezing with 100% of the C disc and RAM, and processor getting close to 100% too. Like, freezing so badly I get the crash pop-up that says something to the effect of "Microsoft Windows has stopped working". Yes, it says WINDOWS CRASHED.

I put my internet connection on metered YEARS ago to avoid this. Yes, I changed it to metered when I started using the Ethernet instead of WiFi. Yes, I set it to metered when we changed the network name/password.

But it apparently downloaded the update anyway. And gave me 3 days before it started trying to force me to update on shutdown.

I figured, I could let it run the update, and then roll it back, right?

WRONG!

I had it set to create a system restore point weekly, but apparently that didn't happen! Not even fucking ONCE!

I literally JUST installed the updates last night but it's telling me it did it over 10 days ago. Even my 3 days of stalling isn't 10 days ago.

They apparently put Copilot on Windows 10 now and we aaaaall know how I feel about AI.

Also my computer now takes a full 10 minutes after login to be USEABLE (typing this on my phone), so that's great. /s When it does become useable, the disk is constantly at 90% or higher. And I don't know why because the RAM is only at 50%. (Probably something to do with the DOZENS of "system host" processes in Task Manager now.)

The only sole singular Good Thing about this update is that they let you UNINSTALL copilot. u`_u

So I disabled the Windows Update service this time. I know ~important security updates~ happen, but I'd like to retain what little power of choice Microsoft is leaving us with.

When this laptop dies, I'm switching to Linux.

I'm so fucking done.

[dhjdb]

uhm so i found this old Clexa post in my drafts and apparently i wanted to post this on the first anniversary of Lexa’s death and…. i feel it is my moral obligation to share my professional analysis with the internet i hope u enjoy.

So in july last year Eliza went to DDCON and at one of her panels someone asked her if she knew the exact moment Clarke fell in love with Lexa. She never really figured it out, but she did say it was after Lexa left her at Mount Weather. She also said "it was before she vowed to her", now I am not sure if she means before Clarke bowed to Lexa or before Lexa bowed to Clarke so imma asume it was before both vowed to each other.

If you want to watch the video where Eliza talks about this here is the link: https://youtu.be/Nok42wk9Vc8

Okay so now we know Clarke fell in love, or realised she was in love, with Lexa in between the moment Lexa abandoned her and the moment they vowed to each other. That leaves us with a span of about 3 months in which Clarke is mainly rocking her pink hair, killing off leopards and having one night stands with Naya and Lexa is probably up in her room full of candles plotting on how to get Clarke back in her life without making it too obvious she is hopelessly in love with her.

So when Lexa finally figured out a plan to get Clarke into her hometown, Clarke is furious at first and you can see she still feels the betrayal very strong. Example: she spit in Lexa's face (which Lexa probably found to be the best moment of her life up untill then).

Clarke is (as Lexa later says) trying to put the blame on Lexa and trying to tell herself that Lexa was the cause of her psychopathic resque of her friends to make it easier to deal with it all.

When Lexa confronts Clarke and asks her to join the coalition an bow before her, Clarke is obviously angry but also startled. Yet you can still see Clarke is sending Lexa the Hate™ look.

I honestly think Clarke either wasn't completely in love with Lexa here yet or she was pushing those feelings far down and ignoring them. I mean, look at her, she almost got that psycho thing going on in her eyes.

So when Roan confronts Clarke about these feelings of revenge he says he saw in her face the moment he pulled of that blindfold, Clarke takes this as a confirmation that it was indeed Lexa's fault she killed 300 people and went all pink and crazy, and so goes along with his proposal to kill her.

THIS IS THE INTERESTING PART

So when Clarke is waiting for Lexa in her room, first we see a shot of her sitting on the edge of her bed while she looks doubtingly at the knife in her hands.

Then Lexa walks in and we clearly see Clarke trying to pull herself together.

When Lexa calls out Clarke's name (God knows she loves to do so) and steps in Clarkes direction, Clarke turns around and pushes the knife against Lexa's throat.

In those first seconds that the knife is against Lexa's throat, Clarke immediatly falters. We see her staring at Lexa, avoiding eyecontact, pushing the knife harder against Lexa's throat and staring at Lexa again.

In this shot (i think i meant to put gifs here but i can’t be bothered y’all know the scene) you can clearly see she had a war going on in her mind. In her eyes you can see all those feelins she was trying to run away from: the hurt, the regret, the guilt, the betrayal, the hate, but most importantly, we can clearly see Lexa is important to Clarke.

Then when Clarke finally locks eye contact with Lexa, Clarke hopes for Lexa to resist or become angry because that would make it easier.

But instead Lexa, the hopelessly in love dork that she is, looks at Clarke as if Clarke just saved Lexa. As if Clarke was the most beautiful thing alive. As if Clarke was the most innocent devil and the most dangerous angel.

So instead of fighting Clarke, Lexa looks at her in a way no one ever has and says, "I'm sorry." and I'm not sure but it looks like she is also fighting back tears.

The next shot, is Clarke with tears in her eyes, shaking her head and pushing Lexa away.

AND THAT IS (as I believe) THE EXACT MOMENT CLARKE FELL IN LOVE WITH LEXA/REALISED SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH LEXA.

WHEN SHE REALISES THAT SHE COULD NEVER KILL LEXA BECAUSE SHE'S IN LOVE WITH HER, SHE FEELS DEVASTATED AND LOST AND PROBABLY HATES HERSELF FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO DO THIS.

In the shot right before she drops the knife, you can clearly see all that desparation in her face.

She now knows she is in Love with Lexa and she realises now that maybe she didn't want to kill Lexa for betraying her, but she wanted to kill Lexa for betrayig her own feelings and not loving Clarke at the moment Clarke needed it the most. She wasnt angry about the fact Lexa left her at Mount Weather, she was angry about the fact that Lexa was able to make the decision to leave Clarke at Mount Weather when she knew Lexa was already in love with her. She was angry Lexa was able to make a decision with her head and not her heart, when Clarke knows she will never be able to do that herself.

[crystalgastles]

ur hc’s are amazing, idk if it was stated but sorry nevertheless that had no idea u weren’t comfy w nsfw!!!!! anyways, #needbenhc’s the way u write is so good I love it💗

You’re totally ok! It’s just that I’m not very good at writing that kind of stuff and when I’m writing my characters I don’t really think too heavily on what they’d be interested in since I’m basically overhauling their entire character so I stick to just their characters in general. Anyway ben is one of my favorites as I’ve always been into old video games and such I’ll put my general headcannons about the human version of ben and the ghost/technology version I have I’ll get more into his personality in another post. TW for mentions of drowning cause duh

My ben drowned

Benjamin Caddel, known as Benji or just Ben to his classmates

College junior with a major in computer science and an interest in old 90s video games. Specifically reworking them.

Doom, resident evil, Mario, sonic, quake and his personal favorite, Majoras mask.

He was very social within his group of friends. College parties and outings were common on the weekends for him.

He would place ai helpers in his reworks to catch bugs so he could go in and fix them all. He named B.E.N mostly after himself but it stands for behavioral e-repair network. (He couldn’t find a word that meant repair that started with e)

Comedic genius, he’s more funny in real life than he is over the internet which is a shame just because his timing is impeccable

B.E.N. Started to go haywire at some point, saying there were bugs where there weren’t and replacing textures in games. It was learning things that Ben hadn’t programmed into it.

Every time he tried to play it was like the controller wasn’t his, the character would run around in circles and into enemies, his doom wads would have areas that could not be there. Stairs he could walk up and places in maps that did not exist before. (doom’s layout is strictly one level, you can’t go up stairs or jump just because of how it’s programmed)

The worst off all of these was majoras mask. It was almost unplayable because of how many glitches and inconsistencies there were within the game.

He tried to reprogram it. He tried to delete it but it was always there. No matter how many times he clicked on the trash can button.

Zelda only got worse, the screen just flashing blue green as link ran into the water and drowned over and over again the ending screen wasn’t even the ending screen anymore it was just a collection of glitches and letters. Letters that spelled out

H . A . T. E.

Hate? He didn’t know if that was just a coincidence or not but it freaked him out just enough to stop trying to play anything on that PC.

His laptop started doing it too. Every time he tried to study or write an essay the screen would freeze up. Typing out random letters and words that made absolutely no sense. He eventually just started using the book’s available to him in the library because no matter how many times he tore the inner workings of it apart it would do the same thing. Over and over again.

Hate, that word followed him everywhere. Technology was everywhere and this thing that he created taunted him every chance it got. It was getting smarter. It knew his deepest insecurities and secrets. Medical records and private files, text messages between his friends, everything.

He had enough he was dropping that Pc and that laptop and that phone off a bridge and into the sea in the middle of winter.

The outside was cold, the icy breeze tugged on his skin while he lugged this heavy cart full of electronics over to the bridge that overlooked the bay. The icy waters below making the hairs on his arms stand up as he picked up the mess of wires and screen.

He didn’t know he didn’t know he’d have to climb up the fence and put his body halfway off of the railing to even be able to throw the computers off of the bridge, and he didn’t know how exactly many wires had entangled themselves on his arms and he didn’t know that he would also fall off of the bridge with his creation

The water was too cold, if the shock from the ice cold bay wasn’t enough to kill him, the computer sinking to the bottom with his arms essentially tied to it would.

His body stays there but his mind, his soul is somehow tied to B.E.N. It wasn’t the technology but something that presented itself as such. He wasn’t that smart. Not smart enough to create something that taught itself.

[chronicallyday]

Saturday Sneak Peek of Life Was a Storm Chapter Two

you may read the first chapter of this modern au/2000s au in the link above. I am absolutely showing my age by referring to VampireFreaks as a social media site lol also the name drop of a band whose founding members went on to create my fave band (PTV)

Here’s a snippet from Chapter Two below:

It was completely accidental. Serendipitous.

Finn had not gone looking for Annie Cresta. She had fallen into his lap. Or more specifically, his inbox.

He didn’t post selfies, despite everyone else posting them. Finn had mostly started using VampireFreaks as a recommendation from a guy he had smoked with outside of a show to post some of his poems on a forum. He wasn’t even goth, but the alt scene had appreciated some of his work that he couldn’t share with Rio.

Finn hadn’t expected someone to message him about a photo he posted to his account. It was a stupid photo he took at Point Pinos. He hadn’t expected someone to comment on the post.

But he almost had a heart attack when he saw the username HeartThiefOfTheSea. That stupid song kept playing his head.

The message wasn’t anything special. They had only sent a less than carrot symbol plus the number three to make a heart emoticon. But Finn clicked on the account anyway and his heart almost stopped again in less than a minute when he scrolled through the photo gallery for the account.

Some punky-bohemian chick that looked like she could be Stevie Nicks’ edgier daughter had sent the comment. The blue and purple streaks in her dark hair had thrown him off for a second, but he would know those green eyes anywhere. They had only been haunting him since he was two months shy of fifteen.

He didn’t have to respond. It was just appreciation for the photo.

But he responded anyway. And that led to them private messaging each other.

“Someone’s up early,” Finn muttered as his desktop pinged with a new email notification for a private message from Annie.

HeartThiefOfTheSea: guess who’s in trouble

FindingEmo: clearly not u if ur messaging me. what did u do?

HeartThiefOfTheSea: snuck out, trespassed to go swimming, but my greatest offense was calling my brother to come get me at 3am from the side of the road cuz I was too lazy to walk LOL

Finn laughed under his breath. As the eldest of his siblings, he was sure there could be a day that he would be getting those calls. For now, he was glad that his sisters were eight years old. The most trouble they got into was eating the sweets and pastries meant for the BnB guests.

HeartThiefOfTheSea: so…what are you doing up? It’s getting late over there isn’t it?

FindingEmo: ur joking right?? I’m not the one that is up at 3am

HeartThiefOfTheSea: yeah but you’re only 3 hrs behind right?

FindingEmo: yeah. so why r u messaging me at 3am

Serendipitous. They had been messaging each other since May and the messages had been mostly small talk about bands they liked until Annie took the plunge and started asking him for some advice and then they got more personal while being cautious of what they shared with an Internet Stranger.

Although Annie could have been more wary. Not that Finn was one to talk. He was sure his parents had considered putting an ankle monitor on him at some point in his mid teens.

Finn had lots of fun turning her into a fan of a band from San Diego called Before Today. He really hoped their plans to tour the East Coast came to fruition so Annie could go to one of their shows.

He really liked one of the lines in one of their songs Pierce The Veil.

We’ll try, still strong in our chains.

Something about the line reminded him of that dream version of himself. Finn still didn’t have the full picture about that Finnick, and while sometimes he couldn’t say he liked that version of himself, there were more days that he felt for him.

HeartThiefOfTheSea: my ex ambushed me while I was hanging out w/my friends. I ran away lol he tried to tell me he wanted to be “friends”

Finn frowned. He hadn’t liked Annie’s boyfriend when she was dating him and his dislike for him only grew after she dumped him.

Nothing rankled Finn more than guys that wouldn’t take no for an answer and tried to guilt their girlfriends into sleeping with them by using their love against them.

Finn had told Annie that she didn’t need to love the guy to have sex with him. If she wanted to have sex just because she wanted to, that was reason enough to take the plunge. But if she was hesitating because she wasn’t ready or because she didn’t feel that kind of attraction to him that she needed to do what was right for her.

Annie had confessed that she had been using the fact that she was Straight Edge as one of the reasons to ward him off. She had to explain to her ex what that even was, but Finn had snorted as soon as Annie told him that she was actually in fact Straight Edge.

Finn and Annie couldn’t be anymore different.

[ can’t say I wanna wait for marriage but idk it feels preferable than losing my virginity to a HS bf that my friends had to convince me to date ]

FindingEmo: pls tell me u kicked him in the balls

HeartThiefOfTheSea: lol no I didn’t do that but I should have. he yanked my arm pretty hard when I was underwater and it kind of scared me. I dipped as soon as possible and I just know my friends are gonna give shit for just leaving

FindingEmo: if u had to bounce u had to bounce…but next time kick him in the balls

HeartThiefOfTheSea: aye aye captain! now why are YOU up late?

FindingEmo: date

HeartThiefOfTheSea: like a date date or a “date” lol

FindingEmo: the latter

HeartThiefOfTheSea: heartbreaker lol

[suicidesiren]

Heyy, i literally love your blog! Do you have any random advice for beauty?

hiii thanks so much! 💖🫶🏻i must say i do have a few tricks

•unsure about a product? literally just type in “(product name) reddit” on google and you’ll find people sharing their true opinions. when you go on the sephora site and check reviews, a lot of them will say “received free product” and people tend to not be honest when getting free things. also join the sephora and ulta sub reddits to stay updated on all the promos, gifts with purchase, etc!

•you’ve probably saw me talk about them on my blog a hundred times but SHOP MISS A i’m telling you truly is a great website. i get so many makeup and skincare essentials from there it’s unreal. so good for my budget baddies! when shopping from there though i recommend sticking to their in house brand AOA Studio and their charity lines such as A+ and PawPaw. I use their AOASkin cleanser and it’s so amazing at removing makeup but it doesn’t strip your skin at all. i love their squalane moisturizer and their gel one in the green pack.

•always keep a mental note of your drugstore ride or dies. i know that high end brands products and sephora sprees are really trendy right now but don’t forget your roots! you always want to have cheap products you know you can rely on, regardless of who you are. what happens when you run out of your $40 foundation and it’s not payday yet, but you need to do a full beat? idk ab u but i know wet n wild is gonna come in clutch for me

• DO NOT buy the elf putty bronzer. so random, but that product is so hyped up on tiktok for no reason. the product gets hard quick and it’s patchy to blend despite how much working around i did to try and make it work.

•DO buy the elf satin foundation and the contour wands 😮‍💨especially if you are looking for a good drugstore contour, just buy it. it’s a new holy grail for me that i’ll definitely be repurchasing. it blends so good, has a smooth texture, and $9. my only tip would be to take the sponge applicator off, i squeezed out 3 uses worth of product from it after the FIRST time i ever used it.

•if you have facebook, depending on a couple factors you can get free sample ads to pop up. it’s very legit, i’ve received sample BOXES from macys and bloomingdale’s. i just got my bloomingdale’s box and it came with a mini valentino lipstick and many perfume samples! it does take time and patience, you won’t get one right away.

do: have ad tracking turned on and join the “freebie hunters” group. when somebody posts their screenshot of a sample they got, go google the product, search on the internet like you have actual interest in it. it’s a lot of watching and waiting, but i’ve received literally dozens of things from these little ads. basically all i do is google makeup and perfume and hope i get them on my feed. joining that group keeps you up to date on what to look out for. i’m sure you can google it and there will be something else explaining it better than i can if i don’t make sense😅