#did not change my opinion at all
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what if you were the blue-haired count and i was the purple-haired duke 👉👈 and we were both boys
#guess what m/m ship i got attached to#in every hyperfixation i gotta have one#and for evillious it has to be the worst one imaginable#like ofc i get attached to the ship between the guys who FUCKING HATE EACHOTHER#i mightve read the lust novel#did not change my opinion at all#i still think they should kiss#anyways#wah#evillious chronicles#<- taking a risk with that one#i might get killed#fir that one#poisonedblade#<- ship name i made for them
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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doodles
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#ryoumen sukuna#fanart#jjk fanart#yuuji#megumi#sukuna#not gonna tag gumi vocaloid but thats who that is . fr the uninitiated. the yowamushi mont blanc herself <3#tbh re: megu>gumi at this point i feel like i am screaming into the void . yelling at a wall etc etc#i know i will never change fandom opinion on the go-to nicknames#but just know that when yall call megumi 'gumi' . gumi vocaloid is all i think of . she doesnt go here >:(#using gumi fr megumi just leaves a weird taste in my mouth . n i know most of it is likely bc of the context i... normally see it used in.#but i digress. if i can convince even a single soul to adopt the megu agenda into their life i will count that a victory#anyway midway through the megu/gumi drawing i got hit with a wave of I Hate My Art Style#so i did a doodley sketch sheet and im cured now#sometimes just doing a bunch of drawings to convince yourself u can draw Works !! who knew !!!#also has been a while since i drew sukuna i think !! hes so silly#i also just realized he and fushiguro mewgumi r making the same face FHGSDFHSDK Unintentional!!!!!!!!!#i tried going fr a slightly Different Style(tm) with the sheet but i think i ended up sticking to old habits fGHFGHSH#maybe its a smiiidge more realistic??? who can say#either way it felt good to keep things rough n sketchy like i was doing a while back#and now it is . 3am .
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Something kinda tasteless about the way that alongside the concerns of "Batman needs someone to rein in his aggression/edginess" (mostly a meta concern,) "Robin is a symbol of undying hope right alongside Batman, Superman, and the police system," and "now that the thought's crossed my mind I think being Robin would be pretty sweet actually," one of Tim's points for why he should be Robin at the end of A Lonely Place of Dying is "we need to show the criminals of Gotham that they can't just kill Robin and expect to get away with it!" Because. They can. That's exactly what happened.
Using that line of reasoning, Tim makes the claim that the idea of Jaybin's life as disposable and inconsequential is heinous and bad, his killing something impermissible, but instead of disproving said idea they allow it to become true and devote their energy to making sure it doesn't become widely known as such. By covering his death up, they actually are permitting his murder to go unaddressed and deeming it acceptable, even taking away the opportunity for it to be consequential to anyone outside of Bruce's inner circle by not spreading the news. As much as we say "oh Bruce was a great dad because losing Jason crushed him" and "he almost considered trying to kill the Joker one time," he in all tangible areas did not do anything about Jason's death. Setting aside the question of killing the Joker or not, it's still shown in Batman Year 3 that Bruce's reaction to Jason's death in the time til Tim showed up was to hide away everything Jason owned and carry on with business as usual, a little angrier. Bruce didn't make any changes or actually evaluate anything in a significant way after the warehouse and Jason's death didn't warrant any tangible consequence, that's evident from reading the comic. I know some may disagree, and I acknowledge the room for interpretation, but in order to discuss Tim's reason we have to concede that it is explicitly written into this specific comic as something Bruce and Tim both recognize as fact, because it serves as the foundation that this reason is built on: there is good reason for the criminals to believe there would no punishment for killing Robin based on the actions Bruce did or didn't take in response. The concern about the public realizing there are no consequences for killing Robin wouldn't be reasonable if it wasn't true, if there actually were.
While they recognize that Jason's death came to pass largely without consequence, the fact itself is less of an issue to both Bruce and Tim than letting criminals actually find out that it doesn't have consequence. They know it's unjust, the notion that Jason can be killed without repercussion (and in making an effort to minimize his murder confirm it to be true,) but their concern isn't for what actually happened to Jason or the lack of proper response. At least on the vigilante side of things, the problem is public perception and continuing to uphold an image of Batman as just and diligent while permitting him to ignore injustice against those close to him. There's no efforts taken to actually disprove the idea that killing Robin would lack impact, what Tim proposes is just making it harder to prove right.
I think the best way to word what comes across tasteless for me here (aside from the side commentary on the unstoppable might of the institution of police and how it's an exemplar of heroism) is that beyond Tim's victim-blaming of Jason during his stint as Robin, (discussed in more depth by people who can word it better than me,) in the base text of a Lonely Place of Dying, it is foundational to the initial premise of Tim as Robin that part of his motive for being Robin hinges on accepting what happened to Jason as something that cannot be allowed in their pursuit of justice or go unaddressed for reasons completely unrelated to the actual harm, and then intentionally erasing the event and the way in which it was allowed and did go unaddressed. No matter how much it's claimed in later comics that Bruce was faultless and Jason doomed himself, Tim's Robin came to be at least in part (in-universe) as a cover-up for the lack of action taken about Jason's death, and by extension as an effort to overwrite his time as Robin and an individual entirely. And thought it wasn't the way his character viewed it, Tim wasn't passively complicit in it or going along with a poor grieving man, the intentional and deliberate erasure of Jason as a murder victim and the injustice of his posthumous treatment was part of his opening pitch.
#truly just “we can't let them think we do the thing that we do” at its core#because the thing that we do is bad and not fair like we want to look fair and would have consequences we don't want. so they can't know."#i see too much of people saying Jason took Dick's mantle so he shouldn't be mad at Tim when 1. he wasn't mad at Tim for it. didn't happen#and 2. Jason became Robin because Bruce was lonely and Jason was homeless and Tim became Robin in an effort to minimize Jason's death#Jason worried Dick wanted his job back (implying he would give it up if he wanted) and Tim shamed the dead kid he was hiding the murder of#can we spot the differences?#you can't really say Jason's gripe of “my death changed nothing” was off-base#when one of tim's first points on panel was that they should be giving the consequences of his murder the landlord special#i feel like all of the ways in which they made tim “more likable” were just leaning back into the status quo they branched out from#like “Jason doesn't like cops and believes they fail victims? well Tim thinks they're the good-hearted models for what a real hero is”#“Jason has conflicting opinions about cases with Batman? Tim is trying to bring back the true Batman who works exactly like he always did”#“Tim is nice and sweet and comes from a good family and has been there from the start. he respects what Batman is”#he's nice enough but his character is (meta not in-universe) rooted in a return to the safe classics that bring us good sales#idk why fanon props him up as the sad shunned outsider of the batfam when he is fr designed to maintain the norm and not rock the boat#also it's immensely funny to see Bruce accuse Jason of being needlessly violent over his emotional state as Robin#when not only does Bruce do exactly that and only that when Jason dies but he was doing it BEFORE too!#Oh No! he went from brutal to criminals and forgoing proper investigations to being brutal to criminals and forgoing proper investigations!#jason todd#batman#bruce wayne#robin#dc comics#discussion of tim drake#again not using the character tag because this isn't the most nicies#but i honest don't hate him that much
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i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode
#trafficblr#life series#hermitcraft#qsmp#the drought's been crazy i had to make qsmp x life series/hermitcraft you don't understand i literally had to#i literally cannot tag all of the cubitos without going over the limit so i'm gonna use them to rant about these doodles instead#when i tell you that i think dl!pearl would've loved tilín i'm telling you i think she would've LOVED them like.#something about just wanting to find love at every turn but feeling unwanted spdihgpisadhfpa. and also tilín's name is similar to tilly LOL#the jelly egg is just like if the double life jelly pandas were just an egg that scar loves with all his heart and grian reluctantly accept#i think out of all the duos in qsmp. the one i would want to see in the dl soumate premise the most is slimeriana. it's the dysfunctionalit#i made a post in the past about pac and tango being my fav cubitos bcs they were both crazy cartoonish and like scientists#but it kinda felt like a disservice to leave mike and zedaph out because to me they're argubly crazier and more cartoonish#missa and tim are paired bcs i just really wanted an excuse to draw the wet cats and it just so happened they both have relations to death#skizz and jaiden as the lawyers who were SHOCKINGLY good at their jobs like they cooked with that one#(was also gonna draw joe and roier as bad lawyers but i was running outta steam)#someone's already made a post about grian and (el) quackity and their eye entities so not much elaboration needed there#fit and etho just give the same vibe to be as a dude who has a reputation and is well-known and seems intimidating#i also made fit's arms way too skinny and i don't like it...but i'm not gonna go back and change it now i spent embarassingly long on this#but then his silliness is brought out by The Narrative#foolish and bdubs is one of my favorite drawings because i just knew i wanted to highlight the silly height difference#just realized they're also both god-like figures at least at some point#cellbit and rendog. cat and dog and lore. enough said about their connection.#i couldn't decide who fit etoiles combat hungry anime protagonist vibe best bcs martyn was originally paired with him#but i wanted martyn with phil so i went with my second options: joel and gem#i couldn't draw them mid rage but essentially the title is derived from “WHO KILLED EMPANADA” and “do me a favor. die for me.”#philza minecraft and martyn inthelittlewood. they feel like twins but one is evil (it's martyn)#SOMETHING I FORGOT THAT I WISH I ADDED: BBH AND BIGB AS THE ENTITIES WHO LIE. I HATE MYSELF HOW COULD I FORGET THAT#if i were to pair impulse with someone it would be tubbo? either him or scar would've been with tubbo#and then lizzie i just did not know who i wanted to pair her with. no one really does it like her in my opinion#scott's someone i also had no idea who to put him with he's just so...him...
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just a little celebratory drawing for the release of the ace attorney investigations collection!! aai2 is one of my favorite games EVER and im so happy that capcom has FINALLY decided to give it an official localization!!!
funny story about aai2 i started watching an lp of it like 3 years ago but was kinda losing interest in aa in general so i dropped it, came back to the exact same lp in like may-ish and then like 2 days before i finished the lp the collection was announced. LIKE U COULDNT HAVE ANNOUCED IT LIKE A MONTH EARLIER SO I COULD PLAY IT FOR MYSELF COME ON CAPCOM
anyways am currently watching like. SO many aai2 lps its not even funny
#ace attorney#ace attorney fanart#aa#aa fanart#ace attorney investigations#aai2#ace attorney investigations 2#my art#justine courtney#sebastian debeste#verity gavelle#eustace winner#ALSO CAN WE TALK ABT JUSTINES NEW OVERRULED.#i will always forever defend the aai collection and all the changes theyre making to aai2 bc tbh i think ppl are overreacting but.#im sorry when i first heard that overruled i had to do a double take#its not the va's fault they were just doing their job but. UGH WHOEVER DID THE DIRECTION. IM COMING FOR YOU#i dont even care that it doesnt sound anything like the original#like neither does rays and his is better now imo#but omg. LIKE I JUST DONT LIKE IT THAT IS NOT MY WIFE#might make a full post abt my opinions on the new voices and names and whatnot but. im dead tired so later
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the trio redesigns or something idk
#byakuya togami#makoto naegi#kyoko kirigiri#danganronpa#danganronpa thh#my arts#i didn't really change byakuya all that much bc unfortunately dgr ate with his canon design a lil bit in my opinion#he looks like a capitalist with a face u can punch already. all i did was crop his hair and idk if i even like that#kyoko on the other hand....gave her pants. as she deserves. but the boots kick ass so i left those. also gave her a haircut#debated between trench coat and cropped jacket but decided to go with the jacket since her talent is supposedly 'unknown' in the game#makoto i just gave him a hoodie with a chunkier zipper and some clover shoes#not very clear here but all three of them have acne. kyoko has acne scars. byakuya has the fewest but only because he uses concealer#ive got to draw more i cant keep drawing all my faves in the same o<-< pose forever
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^ ritsu teru shou friendship in a nutshell
HAHFHWFHWH TRUEE REAL. exactly. i appreciate their dynamic as This but i also appreciate the Duality of their dynamic as being one where they can stop feeling the weight of Responsibility around each other due to the way their specific Responsibility complexes are changing/have changed. And also they all cancel each other out anyway. And their extreme Ride or Die attitudes go crazy. Almost Concerningly supportive of each other.
But anyway. when they Hang Out, as they are all overconfident and overly serious in some way, somebody always manages to start a competition that nobody can back down from or wants to lose and it spirals from there I think. but again. they are Unmasking Buddies. They have enough relatability between all of them that they feel no reason to cover many things up or put on a facade. because of the Understanding. Also every time they hang out for a certain amount of time they always delve into those like Deep Introspective conversations, probably. does this make sense.
this is all after a while though. like it would take them some time to overcome some hurdles and reach this dynamic. Teru and Shou only don’t immediately click because of Experiences and Circumstances though.
ALSO i think of your post where its like. They are Good Kids still and they'd stop whatever they were doing to like. help an elderly lady cross the street or something. Still holds true with Teru in the mix. maybe even more.
them..
#The fishing thing is just Shou and Ritsu only though Teru isn't invited im sorry#also i like to throw Tome in the mix. But i cant voice my thoughts properly so that'll have to wait.#ok sorry if this doesn't make sense i was out all day and am Tired and Sleepy.#once again. my opinion could change once i finish rereading the mangaaa and taking my notes.#i did not address the literatures (source material and Specific Opinions) for this one. just going off vibes and wishful thinking#will update y’all if so. I love having opinions#I didn’t even get started on their Actual Issues either#asks#dgheh
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Again it’s dumb when I hear Jason takes away Helena’s place in the family. Firstly, he was there first. He died and came back. Of course the second robin is apart of the family. Don’t cry cuz he was resurrected and somehow steals Helena’s place when Jason was an integral part of early Batman’s story. Why is it always jason being the reason your fav is fading away? Maybe yall are just assholes that people don’t wanna read your fav anymore cuz all I hear is how Jason blablabla screwed up your favs position or story.
#the way some people are like “why did that guy have to come back alive#like fuck off how about u complain to the DC executives#people hating Jason doesn’t change at all#jason todd#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#dc comics#dc#redhood#robin#batfamily#red hood#they just want a reason to hate on him#vent#I’m so fucking tired#Idc this is my opinion
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I know what these last few chapters have taught me about BNHA...
Blocking people is useful! 😐
#like i feel like some of you can't handle that midoriya has flaws#i feel like some of you don't realize that he's a kid who still has to learn#i feel like some of you don't realize that even after the story his opinion of the world can change#i feel like some of you don't realize the ADULTS in his life are also fucking flawed#EVERYONE IN THIS DAMN STORY IS FLAWED SOMEHOW BUT IT'S FUNNY HOW MUCH MIDORIYA GETS BACKLASH FOR IT#AM said that katsuki and izuku are his greatest heroes because THEY IMPACTED HIS PERSONAL JOURNEY THE MOST ESPECIALLY IZUKU MIDORIYA#not because everyone else did too little in the war#i hate it here... I'm going to be in my corner i don't like you...#i hope some of you pick up a pen and write and draw a manga and see if you can create a mc that nothing can't be said bad about them#challenge impossible#the hate is real it's intoxicating why are y'all still here if all you do is 'critique'#oh i wasn't aware that stories were written to be graded like fucking essays#i thought they were for entertainment my bad#just kiya's thoughts#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha 424#bnha spoilers
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do you ever think about adding more varied body types to your art? there are lots of tutorials online to draw fat people accurately if you aren't sure where to start.
Hi, sorry this is going to be long.
While I believe that representation of diversity in our media is important and I understand where you're coming from, this touches on something a little deeper going on in the art community that I really want to address so I'll be using your ask for that.
This isn't just directed to you so please don't take it personally, but as something that I see A LOT on Instagram, especially towards hobbyist artists (as in someone not working for big industries but just drawing for fun on the internet) I feel like I need to share this:
Let artists draw what they want and feel comfortable with.
I’ve seen countless cases of artists getting harassed for only drawing girls, only drawing boys, only drawing caucasian features, only drawing asian features, only drawing straight couples, only drawing a certain body type, etc. 🫠
I know your ask was a simple question and probably came from the best of intention, but as these types of comments are getting a little too common I really wanted to share my thoughts on it.
Making art is a very personal thing, and having someone constantly complain about the way you do things is exhausting, and more importantly I just feel like pushing someone to draw a certain way kills creativity and ends up with art that feels inauthentic.
As long as they’re not drawing something offensive or illegal, an artist shouldn’t be shamed for the way they choose to draw (and that includes how they portray characters).
I highly recommend this video about art shaming from Mohammed Agbadi, and this video on art style and body shaming by Duchess Celestia to see other artists talking about this.
#adding as a last note that I appreciate the feedback especially when it's respectful#but please don't expect me to change a certain aspect of my art just because you suggested it#thank you for reading all of that if you did and it's okay if we have different opinions on the matter <3#ask
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John Seed is a comfort character for some people. Folks like to ship him with their deputies or craft redemption arcs for him.
There's nothing wrong with that, obviously.
But I just can't wrap my head around it.
There's nothing comforting about the way John Seed treated Joey Hudson. I don't understand why the ordeal she went through doesn't seem to matter to fans of his.
She was bait for the rookie deputy and nothing more, because she wasn't going to give in and join the cult.
He terrorized Joey and the rest of Fall's End, stooping to the lowest, most inhumane levels to get his way. Some even theorize that he hurt the "sinners" in his care just because he wanted to, for malicious, sadistic reasons that didn't have anything to do with the cult. At worst, some people go as far as to speculate that he raped Joey.
It's easy to see why someone might come to that conclusion. The way he acts is deplorable and he makes everything feel extremely personal, sometimes in ways that can be interpreted as sexually charged. He'll do anything in order to get his way because "no" is antithetical to him. He regularly flies off the handle, so much so that Joseph is threatening to cast him out. All the touching and getting right up in the player's face is so uncomfortable and obsessive (which is the point, but I digress).
So why does he get to be redeemed and venerated by fans? Don't his actions warrant consequences?
Are people willing to let him off the hook because he's attractive? Because he had a horrible, abusive childhood? Obviously he's got a lot more lore than most of the cast. Is that something people are interested in exploring for him over other characters?
I'm not trying to come after anyone personally. There's nothing wrong with liking villains and Jacob, Faith, and Joseph have also done terrible things to innocent people.
Which is like, fine. It's a video game.
And I know that John, like Joey, is a victim of Ubisoft's choppy, inconsistent writing and storytelling. Things got changed and swapped and cut during development that got us to where we are, with the story we have. Flaws and all, not like it was ever going to be perfect.
But in my opinion, I feel like the adoration for John does a huge disservice to Joey. People make thirsty edits of him while she's literally tied up behind him. It's tasteless and makes the optics of her situation look even creepier.
Her pain has largely been ignored for as long as the game has existed. I can't for the life of me figure out why.
#i'm gonna save my extra personal interpretations for the notes#genuinely I'm not trying to come after anyone#I just can't wrap my head around it#same goes for Jacob but I feel like he at least has the capacity for some change#cause he has doubts about the cult and stuff#the jury is out on Faith and how much autonomy she really has#though I believe it's more than some people think#and Joseph well... some medication is in order at least#but John had all that money and not a single cent went to a therapist so he could sort out his issues#John never got proper help and he has some very fucked up interpretations of the events that happened to him#he is so stuck in his ways and regularly acts extremely selfishly#in canon that's even considered to be part of why he dies#he's too stubborn and selfish to change#would rather everyone experience the pain that he felt than accept what happened to him#he absolutely had the means to better himself and never did#and Joey and all the other innocent people in his bunker were hurt no matter how you slice it#which if we're talking about John#I guess that's no pun intended#far cry 5#john seed#joey hudson#deputy hudson#fandom opinions#rape mention
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ALSO I am learning how to teach very introverted students, something my natural skillset as a teacher does not help me with.
#one of my greatest tools in the toolkit of my teaching (imo) is that I am unpredictable#I will turn on a dime and I’ll share a thought from the depths of my soul or back of the pantry of my random opinions#that will make them laugh or hook them and they want to hear more#with a group of introverted students maybe they love to see it maybe they don’t but it doesn’t work for them to become engaged#they get so quiet and so still#and not in the good way that kind of happens but kind of just in the scared mouse kind of way#BUT. this past week I kind of had a breakthrough#I totally wasn’t planning on it but the moment was right so I talked to them about them being quiet and introverted (gently teasing them)!#and then I said ‘but do you like it when I just stand here and talk about the book’ and they were like ‘yeah! kind of the pressure is off’#and then I said ‘oh! that’s good to know. because when you’re quiet it makes me feel like you hate me’#(not realizing until I said it that that was the heart of the issue)#and they laughed in surprise (i didn’t say it in a way where I was putting that burden on them in a serious way)#and then I said ‘yeah last night I went home like ‘omg was that a stupid thing to say about Frank Churchill?? no one responded’#and then they kind of shriek-laughed at me and they were like noooooo#and then they said what if we gave you a thumbs up when you were done so you know we don’t hate you#and I said that would be great#and THEN a few days later I gave them an agenda for our discussion written out on the board#where I talked and they listened (I called it discussion with myself) and then they had questions to ponder and things to talk about#with each other. and a lot of time. and THEN I cold called them (they won’t volunteer)#but by that time they were so much more relaxed and they knew what we were doing#so they talked more! and it was so goooood#ALSO idk if it was them#or me who had changed but by the time I got to lecturing at them again#I could feel the quiet warmth that I could not before#(the absence of which is what makes speaking publicly instantly a torture to me l o l)#and it helped so much! like. they didn’t say much (some of them did the thumbs up)#but I had cleared the expectations for them and for me tbh and it helped. I was not waiting for a response from them so in fact I got more#of one. and best of all I could feel them feeling both the warmth and the power of Emma a little bit more#it is starting to click. anyway this is so much but y eah#I’ve been wrestling with this problem a l l year. cracking it in December lol
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Something something romance languages being sorta similar
(And yes that might be based in something that happened to me, you may not speak another language but at some point you can tell if they're insulting you lol)
(btw both merde and mierda mean shit, as in "SHIT!!" ofc)
#utmv#dream sans#ink sans#jhbdfgsdhbf sorry this is so stupid#At this point half of my utmv posts at least allude to everyone having different nationalities smh#Honestly it wouldn't be as important to me if my ultimate blorbo Dream didn't share my nationality (which is why I had the#the opportunity to meet Joku irl?? I have Opinions on her and all but at the end of the day she made Dreamtale)#(Ofc what I wanted was to buy a Dream keychain which I did but she offered to take a pic because I clearly looked like I knew who she was)#(...which she actually said; she looked at me shaking and looking weird and went 'I suppose you know who I am?' and I was like#YEAH YOUR CHARACTERS CHANGED MY LIFE I'M GONNA DIE :SOBS:)#anyways so sdjfhbgsjdhbf
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b’elanna vs her mother at similar ages, plus some sketches!
#my art#star trek voyager#my very first deanna…. my original obsession. if i ever read as much about betazoids as i do klingons we’re all in grave danger#also wrt the first image b'elanna is. 12 years old and as such is about to go emo mode but not quite yet. the girly girl thing is a front#sometime in winter she'll chop her hair off without permission#what do we think? human girl look to fit into the image her father has while he's still around or after to try and get him back?#miral is also a little bookish like b'elanna but on different subjects.... likes to keep to herself naturally but is also loudmouthed and#got told she shared her opinion too often a lot in university. didn't stop her though she speaks up when she thinks (knows) she's right#what did she study? don't ask me my answer changes with the weather#botany....linguistics.....military strategy.....chemistry....... uhmmmm religious studies. or even better the klingon system doesn't have#starfleet equivalents and she spent ages 15-22 doing apprenticeships for a certain (or multiple) disciplines#anyway.#kessik 2352 b'elanna has trouble sitting still for photos until she gets a little older so all the pics from before 7 are of her father#physically holding her so that she won't wander OR off guard shots or super blurry. theres more videos of that time than anything
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I’ve always loved medicine bc it’s the perfect intersection of science and humanity—the two things I value above all else in this world. Truly adored it since I was in the cradle. But now I’m thinking about how so much of my journey to neurosurgery will have to involve KILLING my feelings essentially bc how do you survive otherwise
#Not to mention the surprisingly high suicide rate of surgeons that’s been brought to my attention lately#Honestly I just started my neuro internship and just saw my first patient in clinic#And on the day I did I was critical of my neurologist for being so robotic about it#Now I can see why#I’m still at a point where I can’t even do a chart review for a patient without feeling so fucking sad#And I can see how that can get unsustainable after a while#But it’s like if I kill the feelings that drive my passion for medicine to begin with then what’s the point#It’s not like I’m in it for the money or prestige bc that’s so dumb considering how long the schooling is#But literally how to deal#My supervisors at the clinic very much all speak about the dementia patients w a learned impartialness#But I don’t wanna be that way one day :( but how to be anything else and still survive#I’m pre med so I still have time and maybe my opinion will change and I’ll wanna do another specialty#But when it comes to this every specialty will involve human lives and navigating that regardless#That said I can see why surgeons are at higher risk or depression suicide etc#The whole point of this internship is to teach myself how to navigate this stuff but. Hate it#p#med tag
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