#did my style change since the last time i drew total drama did that happen?

[queatherine]

missed my girls

[laikagohome]

Introduction: This is an interview with the manga author Yoshida Takashi. The original article is here: http://mangaonweb.com/news/2018/01/27/448. There are some interesting opinions in it, so I decided to translate it.

If you asked which ebook people are talking about the most right now, there would probably be many people who would mention the name “Yaretakamo Iinkai.” It’s always up there on the sales rankings of each of the digital bookstores, its live drama adaptation begins on January 27th on Abema TV, people are always talking about it on the net whenever there’s a new chapter, and its paper publication is slated for a second printing -- just to name a few things it’s got going for it. It really is a major-level grand slam.

The reason for its success is, of course, how interesting it is. But that’s not all, there’s another unexpected hidden aspect to this work that deserves some attention. The creator of this work, Yoshida Takashi-san, actually manages the copyright of this work on his own and takes care of everything from the writing to the sales. The publication of “Yaretakamo Iinkai” isn’t exclusive to any magazine put out by a publisher. The creator publishes his works on each web platform independently and makes a living using the royalties he earns from them as a source of income. The only contract he’s signed with a publisher is for the paper edition of the work to distribute it to bookstores, but he manages the digital version, drama adaptation, and such all himself. He doesn’t have to deal with any restrictions and can create his works freely. In other words, the work is one that is produced in an almost completely indie style.

It’s quite rare for a creator to be able to make this a reality. If you consider all the ins and outs of the publicity and distribution for a work, the contract negotiations, production costs, etc., taking care of it all on your own would require an extraordinary amount of labor. A single creator standing against the world without that ever-critical factor -- the backing of a major company -- would face extreme difficulties.

Why did Yoshida-san choose a path filled with such hardships? What’s really going on behind the scenes? How was he able to parlay that into the success that he has now? Let’s hear what the man himself has to say.

“Yaretakamo Iinkai” Yoshida Takashi Special Interview

The Royalties from Digital Publications Exceeded 1 Million Yen per Month

The drama adaptation has begun airing, and now people are talking about “Yaretakamo Iinkai” even more, but it’s not being serialized in any particular magazine. It’s a comic that gets tweeted about pretty regularly, but there are also probably a lot of people who are wondering how the creator makes money. Could you tell us a bit about what’s actually going on and how that works?

Yoshida Takashi:

To begin with, there are four platforms that my work is published on. “cakes,” “note,” “PixivFANBOX,” and “Manga on Web.” The way things are structured on “cakes,” “note,” and “PixivFANBOX” is that you only get the royalties for your works that people buy on each of the sites. From those three sites combined, I make around 100,000 to 110,000 yen a month. “Manga on Web” is an online magazine. You can buy it in all of the domestic digital bookstores. The agreement there is that I make a fixed amount of money from it, the minimum publication fee, as well as royalties that correspond to the amount of sales that the magazine makes. If anything could be called a "manuscript fee," then that would probably be it.

And then there’s income that I make from the royalties on the paper tankoubon as well as the digital versions. The other day, I got the royalties from the digital books for the first time. It was over 1 million yen for a single month. I’m a bit anxious about what will happen to the taxes I’ll have to pay for next year, but it’d be great if it kept selling at this pace.

Making over 1 million yen in a month on one book is pretty amazing. If you were talking about royalties from a paper publication, that would be about the amount you’d make if you sold 15,000 copies. It’d be a dream to get that much every month. Why did you decide to make your money writing in this way anyway? Please tell us a bit about the circumstances of how you came to draw “Yareta Iinkai.”

Yoshida:

Well, it’s not like I intended to do things the way I’m doing them now from the very beginning. At the start, I was just going to try to do things like any regular mangaka. I did the normal assistant thing, sent in an entry for a newcomer’s award that a publisher was running, and my gag manga “Finland Saga (Sei)” got serialized in Morning Two, but that ended in 2011. The tankoubon didn’t seem to sell very well. After the series ended, I brought in the name for my next work to the Morning editorial department, but I couldn’t get it past them at all. Like, really… it was almost like they had tacitly decided they weren’t going to allow me to have another series (laugh.)

I had no other choice, so I took the rejected names and turned them into manuscripts and sent them all over the place for newcomer awards at other publishers and magazines. One of the shorts I included in those was “Yaretakamo Iinkai.” It got noticed in the newcomer's award for Shougakukan's Superior magazine, and received an honorable mention. That was in 2013, but I had actually written “Yaretakamo Iinkai” a long time ago before that. I was assigned an editor, and I wanted to write the second chapter of it, but the editor said that the material was only good for a oneshot and wouldn’t let me draw a follow-up. I drew another name on some other subject and brought it in, but that didn’t get greenlit either.

While I was doing all of that, another 2 years passed, and in the meantime, I continued to send out my manuscripts to other editorial departments and win awards for them. It was like I somehow ended up with an editor in each of the editorial departments. I started thinking, “I really can’t let this go on,” and that’s when I came up with the idea for my work named “Share Body.” I felt like I was onto something that was sort of new, so I drew three chapters worth of names and sent them around to all the editors that I’d met so far. That ended up catching the eyes of the editor at Spirits.

I Still Haven’t Read the Last Volume of “Share Body”

You didn’t get to writing “Yaretakamo Iinkai” right away, did you?

Yoshida:

That’s right. At the time, I still wanted to have a series in a commercial magazine. But that ended the worst way possible and was quite traumatic for me… The editor in charge of me at Spirits who read the name for “Share Body” said it was interesting and wanted to make it a series. I should’ve been happy about that, right? But they wanted to use it as the original story and have another mangaka draw it. Of course I wanted to draw it, since it was my own work, but none of the names I had drawn were going anywhere, and I really wanted to do a series. So, after agonizing over it, I ended up accepting that condition. Someone else did the art, the series began in September of 2015, the first tankoubon came out in January of 2016, and 5 days after it went on sale, they told us to end it. So I was out of a job by spring. My dream was over in an instant.

So after bringing in all those works to be evaluated all those times, you didn't even get to draw the series that you finally got. And it even got cancelled too. I can see how that might be traumatic.

Yoshida:

Around the time the 6th chapter got printed, the editor in charge said “It’s not doing well in the surveys, so redraw the name.” I’m the type of person who can’t draw when they’re pressured, so before the series started, I had drawn about 30 chapters worth of names ahead of time. Of course, I showed all of those to the editor, and they said it was good back then. Fixing the names was really difficult. For example, if I revised the 7th chapter, then I’d have to adjust the 23rd chapter as well, otherwise it’d be inconsistent. There were important scenes, and that’s why I’d drawn them, but when I explained that things wouldn’t make sense later if I changed them, the editor wouldn’t budge and kept going on about how the survey results were poor. Even when I brought up the fact that they’d said it was good before, they just said, “Well, it’s not.” You’d hope that if an editor said something was good, then they’d stick by it till the end.

Anyway, I couldn’t change something that I thought was already interesting into something that I found boring, so the editor and the artist came together and changed the story. The artist probably didn’t want to do something like that either -- and I don’t really want to badmouth anyone -- but I felt like if I were drawing the pictures myself in a situation with a deadline, then I could’ve at least forced my way and drawn what I’d wanted. The survey results just kept getting worse, and the series got cancelled.

In the later half of things, it was being produced in this inexplicable way where I was drawing the names for the original work, and the artist and editor would base things on that, change it, and draw the manga. Now that I think back on it, it’s a complete mockery of how to go about producing anything. We were making fools of the readers. After the name were getting changed, I couldn’t read the magazine it was being published anymore. I kept having nightmares about running people over in a car with a broken steering wheel.

From the second half of the second volume onward, it pretty much wasn’t based on what I wrote. I told them myself, “The 3rd volume isn’t really based on what I wrote, so please downgrade what I’m being credited for.” I thought that might convey to them how I felt about having the original work changed, but they replied, “Then it’s okay if we lower your percentage of the royalties, right?” So I got in a fight with them, saying, “That’s not what’s in the contract!” It was a total quagmire. In the end, I still haven’t read the last volume of “Share Body.”

I couldn’t forgive myself for releasing something that didn’t live up to my original intentions into the world, and more than anything, I had done something inexcusable to the readers. The experience was traumatic for me, and I decided not to trust the judgement of others.

I Decided on Four Things that I Would Not Give Up

You were now pretty far off from the “regular mangaka” that most people would imagine. So is that when you started to draw “Yaretakamo Iinkai” for real?

Yoshida:

No, I had already tried bringing everything I thought up, and my series failed, so there was no way left for me to do things. I started uploading my manga onto twitter. I’d upload a 20-page manga that got rejected at Morning, 1 or 2-page manga, 4-panel comics, and I had a tons of rejected names. At the time, I was doing this livestream once a month on Nico. I’d announce that I was going to go viral on the program and keep uploading my manga. Deep down, I did wonder if there was any point to it, but there wasn’t anything else I could do.

And then, around a half year later, because I was uploading stuff every day, eventually there were some things that’d get retweeted 5,000 or 10,000 times. People began taking a look at my older works from that, and it caught the attention of sites like Omokoro and net celebs like Yoppii-san. In September of 2016, “Yaretakamo Iinkai” saw the light of day.

Oh, finally! It’s easy enough to say, “I’m going to go viral in half a year,” but it’s another thing to be able to accomplish that when you have nothing to guarantee it. That’s amazing.

Yoshida:

It’s going to sound like I’m tooting my own horn a bit, but back then I really felt like I was working hard (laugh.) The first chapter hit around 200,000 views at the time. I got a flood of requests to turn it into a book right away. I think it was about 4 or 5 publishers that asked to publish it, but because “Share Body” was such a big failure, I decided to be quite careful with everything, right down to dealing with the editors. That’s when I decided there were four things that I would not give up. They were basically, “I would decide the title myself,” “I wouldn’t have any meetings about it,” “I would do the art myself,” and “I would manage the digital publication myself.” The first one may sound quite obvious, but when you get a publisher involved, the title reflects on their brand, so they make you change it often times. (Though I was able to decide the title for “Share Body.”)

The second item had to do with the same thing. There are a lot of editors that will meddle with the work, and there are a lot more people than you think who will be very heavy-handed when dealing with you because they feel like they’re the ones paying you. When I would go to meet them after they invited me to turn it into a book, they’d say, “Let’s have some meetings about this and make it together.” I turned them all down. They’d say things like, “I can come up with all sorts of ideas that could fit the story,” and go on about all these different plans they’d have, and I’d just listen to what they had to say with a smile, and then leave. I was asked if it was possible to participate in the selection process for the different episodes, but I even said no to that. It was pretty brazen of me, but my stance was, “You’re the ones that said you wanted to turn it into a book, so please just do that.”

I also wanted them to accept that I was going to do the art as something that was a given. The publisher was coming on board after the planning, so handing over the digital rights would be strange too.

That all makes sense, but it must’ve been a perilous path. I can’t imagine talks proceeded all that smoothly once you made your stance clear to the publishing companies. They probably felt like they were setting the stage to make the chances of profitability higher, and you were refusing to go along with it. Did they feel a bit like, “Why is this guy even meeting with us then?”

Yoshida:

I did get told with a sigh that they didn’t want to talk to me anymore about that sort (negotiations about the rights) of stuff (laugh.) They’d laugh and ask me, “What happened to you to make you feel this way?” “Yaretakamo Iinkai” was the first piece of work out of all the manga that I had drawn that I actually felt like was going well, so I didn’t want to change the system that I was using to produce it until it was over. The things I was asking for came from a place more of fear rather than desires. I didn’t want to have the work get messed up anymore.

You felt like you were cornered. Thinking about it normally, a company offering to publish your work would have you take down the stuff you had put up publicly on “note,” serialize it exclusively on their own media platforms or magazines, and want to sell tankoubon. Did the conversations ever turn into something like that? That’s usually the pattern of what happened to other manga that got popular on the net at least, which is why I think it’s truly impressive that you were able to present a different method of success.

Yoshida:

Naturally, I insisted on not taking down anything on the sites that I had already put up. I had all these people on the net reading my work, so what would be the point of taking it down? Even if you go viral, what you really need to value the most aren’t the publishers that will give you work but your readers.

When I see people tweeting, “My series is starting,” or, “My book is coming out,” and fans respond, “Congratulations,” I end up thinking, “It’s not worth getting that happy about,” because I got cancelled after a half a year. Delivering your work to the reader is the goal, and having a series or putting a book out is just one way to do that. I know I’m being mean about it, but it’s almost like people just want to do a series so they can tweet about how it’s about to start. Having the publisher validate you and starting your series… it feels real nice for a moment, but then they suddenly stop tweeting for a month, and you see they’re getting cancelled. The story ends in the middle of things, and they end up letting down all the readers they worked so hard to build up.

After that, the mangaka that had their series cancelled are regarded differently. They won’t let you do things by yourself next time. They’ll have you adapt someone else’s original work or pair you up with a different person to do the art. The mangaka could just part ways with the publisher at that point, but they think to themselves, “If I just listen to what I’m told, something good might happen,” so they follow the rules that get set for them. Whenever I see someone talented just doing whatever they’re told by the publisher and the original work they’re adapting is no good, I wonder why they’re doing that. Like, “They’re so talented, and it’s such a waste!”

Starting your series or putting out a book, it’s not really something to celebrate. You may not be able to see it with your eyes, but delivering a work to the readers is what you should be most happy about. Having a series or putting out a book isn’t even a completely effective way to deliver something to the readers nowadays.

Tweets Are like Dust or Pollen

If delivering something to the reader were established as the goal of the process, then the landscape of this scene should look different. It’s certainly true that just drawing whatever the publisher tells you to do won’t always lead to good results. Did you have some plan you’d concocted to succeed without joining up with a publisher though?

Yoshida:

Not at all (laugh.) It feels like it just ended up this way because I decided what I didn’t want to do, like it was a process of elimination. I went viral once, so I thought if I just quietly drew a volume's worth of material and sold a digital version, I’d probably make some money. Even if I didn’t make that much money, as long as it was enough for me to draw my next piece, that would be enough.

A big reason why other mangaka-san get fixated on the idea of a series probably has to do with getting paid a manuscript fee. I understand where they’re coming from too, but if I were aiming to become a mangaka with everything I know now, I’d draw the manga that I want in the way that I want while working a part-time job or something, and put out an ebook once a year. I probably wouldn’t sell anything at first, but I’d polish my skills while seeing what works through trial and error, and then when someone comes across my work and it goes viral, I’d sign a contract that would be advantageous for me with the publisher. That’s the method I might choose to pursue. You can still dream like that.

Futabasha, the publisher that put out the tankoubon, didn’t pay a manuscript fee, but they were okay with me keeping the works I had up on “note,” “cakes,” and “Manga on Web,” gave me the freedom to put out a digital edition, and allowed me to have creator control over any application of it for derivative works, such as movie adaptations and the like. If I had made it my goal to put out a paper book, I don’t think it would’ve turned out this way.

After hearing everything that you’ve said, I can see that you have a deeply rooted distrust of the publishing companies at your core. But at the same time, although you make use of the internet and social networks in a very proactive way, there’s also this sort of vibe that you don’t believe they’re completely awesome either. It feels like the existence of the net was indispensable for the success of the work. You could even say that the success of “Yaretakamo Iinkai” was only possible because someone famous on the net picked up on it. How do you feel about that?

Yoshida:

I was honestly thankful that they were spreading it around the net. But it didn’t really change anything about my fundamental distrust in others. I might need some counseling or something (laugh.) It’s obvious, but it’s not like I think that everyone at the publishing companies are evil and everyone on the net is good. People who work in marketing or other internet-related fields are always looking for the next big thing that people will be talking about, and are incredibly fickle, so I’m trying to remember to not get consumed by that.

Also, people in IT can create places and spaces for manga (manga sites and applications,) but they can’t actually create the content itself. They can only make the restaurants and plates; they aren’t cooks. There are tons of sites out there with someone famous supervising but no views or ones with views but no monetization system in place. There are more apps and sites now, and the places you can draw manga have exploded in number, but the creator has to be careful and needs the power to carefully examine the place where they’re going to serialize their work.

If all you do is believe in the word “serialization,” you’re going to get turned into a dancing bear to attract attention. And you might even be made to do your jig in front of an empty audience. You want to at least have an audience if you’re going to be a dancing bear.

It’s true that there’s this idea of people who work in internet-related fields swarming around something in a flash, eating all they can, and then leaving. It’s common for new services to pop up one after another, and then disappear. They all seem very transitory.

Yoshida:

I was contacted by someone working for a certain application, asking me if I wanted to put my work on it. When I went to meet that person, they kept on saying things like, “You should do it now,” “It’s now or never,” “If you do it now, it’ll definitely do well.” They just kept saying the word “now” over and over. I said to them, “It’s true that “Yaretakamo Iinkai” might just be a flash in the pan, but you don’t really have to be so blunt about it, do you?” They responded, “Sorry, that’s not what I was trying to say. Please consider putting it on our service…” The conversation didn’t go anywhere. They were trying to make things go viral in the now, and I was wanted to continue drawing manga for the long haul. It got me feeling like our sensibilities were pretty different.

Recently, I’ve gotten quite skeptical of people who approach others just because they get a lot of retweets or have a lot of followers and ask them if they want to put out a book. Numbers make things easy to distinguish, so people tend to see retweet counts and follower numbers as having some value, but is it really okay for professional editors to be trusting them?

Are you talking about how editors are starting to resemble people who work in internet-related fields?

Yoshida:

They have, haven’t they. An editor I met the other day said to me, “I found this promising creator recently with around 6,000 followers. It’s my job to turn that number into 30,000,” and I was like, “Seriously?” Apparently there’s some data that came out that said if you have 30,000 followers, 1 in 10 or 1 in 20 will buy the book. I don’t think you can really believe in any of that, but they were telling me all this sort of proudly, so I started thinking, “What’s with this guy? I really shouldn’t trust him! I can’t trust him!!” (laugh.) I think everyone’s reacting too much to numbers. I mean, we’re not dogs here.

It would be simple if all you were trying to do was get people to clap their hands together and tell you it’s good, but you need some sort of action to get people to open up their wallets and give you their money. I think the act of pushing a “like” button is about as minor as patting the head of a Jizou statue. No matter how much something gets posted on the web, when it comes to which ebooks are selling, it’s always “One Piece” or “Shingeki no Kyojin” or “Dungeon Meshi.” Twitter has nothing to do with it. I think tweets are like dust or pollen. The lighter the dust is, the further it can fly, but nobody is going to remember what was flitting around last year.

I think that something a person will pay for might need to have a certain kind of weight to it. I believe that it’s not about likes or retweets, but rather that it’s important the person who put down the money for it feels like they bought something worthwhile and will want to buy it again.

The reason why books aren’t selling has nothing to do with people reading less manga, pirate manga sites, the internet, the end of paper publishers, or ebooks.

The people who determine that lightness or weight are supposed to be the professional editors, but are you saying that’s not really the case anymore?

Yoshida:

I think so. There’s this negative current of completely trusting in fabricated numbers the worse that books sell. There’s been some recent news about how “comico” has been driving down the price they’re paying for manuscripts (though “comico” denies that to be true) and that manga tankoubon sales are half of what they used to be in the heyday of manga.  

I think the two are connected. Around 2013, IT enterprises like “comico,” “LINE manga,” “GAMMA,” “Mangabox,” etc., came into the manga marketplace with ample amounts of funding. But fast forward 4 years, and I don’t think they’ve made much money. As for why, it’s because they’re using a business model where they depend on selling paper tankoubon to make money. If they could come up with a single “Shingeki no Kyojin,” then they could make it all back, but it’s not going well. Why isn’t it going well? Because tankoubon aren’t selling. And why is that? I think it’s because the number of publications have increased too much.

IT companies enter the market, comics increase, as if in opposition to this, the publishing companies make their own manga sites and applications and create even more content, they cut down on the page count to increase the numbers of volumes, and the result of that now is that the comic corner at bookstores are in complete disorder. I think it’s too much of a pain for readers to choose, so they just don’t buy manga anymore.

It’s like when a non-native creature is introduced to a pond and it ruins the ecosystem. The water gets muddy and people don’t want to approach it. They don’t know what’s interesting anymore. There are even too many books that recommend manga like “Kono Manga ga Sugoi,” “Manga Taishou,” or “Kono Manga wo Yome.”

In my opinion, the reason why books aren’t selling has nothing to do with people reading less manga, pirate manga sites, the internet, the end of paper publishers, or ebooks.

Mangaka are drawing manga that suit their editors, editors are trying to proceed with projects that suit the editor-in-chief, and IT companies are trying to hit it big on a single jackpot manga. This is the natural result of nobody paying attention to the reader.

If the market goes back to being healthy, I think that manga will start to sell again. It’s not like you can drain all the water out of the pond though, so it’s pretty tough. I don’t think you can expect much from paper tankoubon until the water is clean again. The ones that have it the worse here are the people running the bookstores. But I believe that the ones that do a good job of selecting what they carry will be able to survive.

Right now, I have the good luck of being able to just focus on the reader and draw my manga. There’s no greater joy than that.

(My Own) Commentary:

At https://note.mu/shuho_sato/n/n657d9e19f18f, there are some additional notes on this article written in a blog post by Shuuhou Satou. If you’re familiar with some of the details of Shuuhou Satou and Yoshida Takashi, then the interview would’ve come off as maybe slightly disingenuous. The mangaka that Yoshida Takashi was an assistant to was Shuuhou Satou, and Shuuhou Satou runs “Manga on Web.” Shuuhou Satou is a very vocal person about these issues (publisher vs creator rights, digital publications, etc.) and even manages a consulting service for mangaka contracts as well as a ebook distribution consulting service (Densho Bato.) In the blog post Shuuhou Satou confirms that the interview was meant to help a bit with the sales promotion and that Yoshida Takashi did go through his service with his ebook. He talks a bit about the perceived success of the article in boosting its position on Kindle’s comic ranking, but there are some more interesting points that he makes. One of them is that he made sure to not include his own name in the interview (though he was the one who authored and conducted it.) For anyone not familiar with the history, it probably doesn’t make a difference, but if you do know who he is, then it comes off as a bit underhanded. I think a lot of the things Shuuhou says are interesting, even if I don’t particularly think his comics are. Not putting that out there upfront for the reader when the interview is going to touch on the issues he’s known for getting into just makes Yoshida seem more like a parrot than his own person. It should be noted that Shuuhou and the people that he represents are really among the most successful in terms of making money off digital distribution, but Shuuhou is also pouring tons of money back into marketing and promotion.

Also, some of the numbers that they mention people talking about always strike me as a little humorous. At the moment I’m writing this, Yoshida has about 7,000 followers on twitter, and Shuuhou has about 10,000. Most of the retweets for the interview come from someone else’s account. Many of the authors that I enjoy reading and follow have lower numbers or no twitter account at all. That makes the editor’s comment about getting an author’s follower count to 30,000 pretty funny. In context, with the “data” that was getting mentioned, you’d move 3,000 units at best, which is close to the minimum of what you’d want to make profitability feasible on a tank’s print run.

Regarding the comments Yoshida makes about the marketplace currently, I do think there’s a lot of shit in the water, but I also think it’s worth mentioning that this shakeup also allowed for the existence and development of manga sites like Torch (Leed) and Mavo. I never would’ve expected the publisher that puts out Comic Ran, a magazine that is basically all samurai comics, to be behind something as forward-thinking as Torch. Shuuhou’s own Manga on Web is also one that was built in the muddied environment, though Manga on Web has been running in the red just like all of those other IT based sites. It’s not as though editors at paper publishers were making amazing decisions all the time prior to this marketplace flooding either. They may not have been looking at follower counts, but they definitely were stressing sales numbers, and a lot of them went with veterans that drew crap that sold rather than developing and fostering younger authors. At least in this environment, younger authors have some places online to put work up when niche magazines are getting shuttered, even if they’re all working side jobs at the same time. For the general consumer, it may be too confusing to choose, but for someone who will invest their time into finding works they want to read themselves, it’s not the chaotic environment he makes it out to be.

As for “Yaretakamo Iinkai,” you can actually read some of it in English “officially” on pixiv at https://www.pixiv.net/user/3130738/series/22797. My personal opinion of it is that… I’d rather read this than Shuuhou’s comics :T

[aion-rsa]

Avatar: The Last Airbender – What Can We Expect From the New Avatar Studios?

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If you’re an Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra fan, the long wait is over. Ever since Korra went off the air in 2014 there hasn’t been a new Avatar series on our screens. We’ve gotten comics and books (which have been fantastic) but a return to the screen was always hoped for. The live-action Netflix series is still in the works but after the departure of original ATLA creators Michael DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko fans haven’t been as excited for it.

Now that excitement has somewhere to go. It has been announced that the newly formed Avatar Studios will “create original content spanning animated series and movies based on the beloved world of Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra.” Not only that, but we may also be getting short-form content and spin-offs!

The first project set to go into production this year is “an animated theatrical film” and it seems like the primary distribution for these projects will be Paramount+ (though they may also run on other Viacom channels) and even theaters.

This is a lot to take in. Obviously not all of these might come to fruition but with Paramount needing shows/movies and ATLA/Korra proving to be very popular on Netflix, fans can have high hopes we’ll get to see a lot more from the ATLA world.

So what could we be getting? All we know for sure is that a movie will be going into production but we don’t know what it’ll be about, nor do we know what any of these other possible series could cover. However, there are some areas of the ATLA world that are ready to be explored so we’re going to go over the ones that would be perfect for the new Avatar Studios.

Adapting the Comics

In 2012 Dark Horse Comics began publishing Avatar: The Last Airbender comics which continued where the original series left off. They not only filled in the gaps between ATLA and Korra but delved deeper into the world, filled out backstories, and even answered the biggest question left dangling at the end of the series: What happened to Zuko’s mom?

Any of these stories would make fine films or miniseries, but the most obvious one to adapt would be the arc about Zuko’s mom. Many new viewers of the series aren’t aware of the comic and it would be a great chance to tell such a critical part of ATLA’s story on screen.

Koh the Face Stealer

Without question the absolute scariest part of the ATLA universe, Koh is an ancient spirit who has the ability to steal any face of any being who shows any emotion to him. Aang memorably faced him down and barely escaped with his face, and he’s been mentioned in various other ATLA stories since then. Still, this creature is largely a mystery and a film delving more into him would provide an excellent big screen villain. After all, he did tell Aang they’d meet again. (This technically did happen in an online game but much of Koh’s appearance in that game has been lost to the sands of Internet time.)

We don’t have to learn or even see his entire backstory (some mystery is good) but getting the opportunity to see more of him is one that’s too good to pass up. Aang doesn’t even have to be the one who faces him! Koh’s line of “we’ll meet again” could apply to any Avatar. Korra could encounter him or even a future Avatar!

The Furthur (Queer) Adventures of Korra and Asami

The Legend of Korra famously ended with Korra and Asami walking into the spirit portal holding hands and it was later confirmed that they were a couple. We’ve gotten a chance to see some of this in the Korra comics (which if adapted would make great movies or miniseries’) but getting a full series that lets Korra and Asam explore the Avatar world and take on new challenges? That would not only just be a great show on its own (especially after those last two INCREDIBLE seasons we got on TV) but it’d be a chance to let Korra and Asami’s queerness be seen on screen.

Queer representation is still far too low, especially in animation, and getting to see queer characters in such a high profile franchise would do a world of good. We don’t even need them to be around the same age as they were in the show. Let’s get the 40-year-old queer and married adventures of these two!

A Whole New Avatar

While of course the easy options for any new Avatar media is just to tell more stories about characters we already know, Avatar Studios has the chance to continue the story well beyond what we saw in ATLA or Korra. Remember how The Legend of Korra jumped 70 years into the future after ATLA and the technology of the world was comparable to the 1920’s? Imagine if we jumped to a world that more or less matches the 1970’s? Or hell, go further! Imagine if it’s more of a sci-fi fantasy mix and we get SPACE AVATAR. Yeah, bending asteroids and using air bubbles to breathe in space.

It’d be a gamble but new Avatar mediums shouldn’t just be banking on nostalgia. It needs to move forward to ensure it’s future and a new generation of kids (or teens, whoever the show is marketed to) deserves an Avatar series to call their own.

Older ATLA Crew

Nostalgia is still powerful though and a no brainer would be getting the adult adventures of Aang, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Suki, Zuko, and the rest. We briefly saw flashbacks of them as adults in Korra and there’s that famous photo of them all grown up that was released when Korra was airing so why not do an adventure set during that time?

Read more

TV

Avatar: The Last Airbender and Structural Perfection on TV

By Alec Bojalad

TV

What Avatar: The Last Airbender Season 4 Would Have Been

By Shamus Kelley

See how the changing world impacted their friendships, what it was like as technology so quickly advanced. Aang trying to be a father and not being all that successful (which we wrote about here and how it enriched his character.) His attempts to preserve air nomad culture. Toph’s lack of a relationship with the father of her children and the further formation of the metal benders. There’s just so much room to explore!

The Rise of Kyoshi Adaption

Released in 2019, The Rise of Kyoshi (and it’s sequel novel, The Shadow of Kyoshi) chronicled the life of, who else, Avatar Kyoshi. It’s a gripping tale that follows her training as the Avatar while on the run and attempting to get revenge for the death of a loved one. Its story would be perfect for two or three films and also, like the further adventures of Korra, would be an excellent chance to see another queer character in the ATLA universe. Kyoshi was established as being attracted to men and women in the Korra graphic novels and the Kyoshi novels ran with it.

Adapting books into movies is still a common practice in Hollywood so this isn’t a huge stretch. The story is already there, let’s just get it on screen!

Past/Future Avatars (Anthology)

Multiple times throughout ATLA and Korra we got to see the long line of Avatars that stretched back before Aang. Some we got to learn about but most were nameless… but what if we got to learn more? Any of these past Avatars could sustain a movie, mini-series, or show on their own but that’s a tall order for such a long line of characters. Instead, imagine an anthology series where every half hour episode could focus on one of those past Avatars. We’d learn a little about their life, see them in action, and get more pieces of the overall Avatar world. This doesn’t even have to be limited to past Avatars. You could jump forward in the future. See the Avatars after Korra, the start of a whole new line!

While these could all be done in the trademark Avatar art style and handled by the original creators, imagine if this took a more Heavy Metal or Animatrix approach? Each episode could be helmed by a different creator and animation team, all contributing their unique takes on the Avatar world in different visual styles. You could of course get famous directors, writers, actors, etc. if you wanted but more worthwhile would be making this a launching pad for new talent. Get people who are just starting out in the industry (especially diverse talent, since Avatar and Korra drew so much from different cultures) and use this as a platform to launch them to fame. With that you also get a new pool of experience to draw from and that diversity would allow all kinds of different and unique stories to be created in the ATLA universe by the people the show has depicted.

The series could even be used as a testing ground for new series, movies, etc. If one episode really hits it out of the park with fans and critics, it could be spun off into its own longer story. With such a rich history and devoted fan following, Avatar Studios could leverage the brand to do something really special that would not only give us more of the ATLA world but develop new underrepresented voices in the business.

The Return of the Super Deformed Shorts

The moment I read that one of the options on the table for Avatar Studios was “short-form content” my mind instantly remembered the adorable shorts featuring the ATLA characters that were included on the DVD’s. These were short parodies of the series featuring chibi style versions of the cast. They were hilarious, zany, and we need more of them! Give us Korra shorts too!

Things We Can’t Even Think Of

The possibilities of stories in the ATLA universe are limitless. The ideas above are only the most obvious. The stories Avatar Studios make don’t all have to involve the Avatar or even benders. They don’t have to all follow the format of the TV series’. We could get action shows, sure, but what about a soap opera? A legal drama? A space opera! Something totally off the wall that defies genre.

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Anything is possible and we hope Avatar Studios will let their imaginations run wild. Whatever is made, we’re excited.

The post Avatar: The Last Airbender – What Can We Expect From the New Avatar Studios? appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/37JxvQQ

[unravelling-the-world]

I was trying my best, and another friend who always took pictures of us (we took pics of him as well dw) documented all of those moments, i even used a not-permanent spray color hair for that day just so the pictures could be special. I didn't particularly like myself, I never did ,but I was too busy to think about it. When i went out, i felt decent at least. Binder, thick under-eye red/black liner, just the perfect e-boy look i wanted. I felt that, as a pre-hrt person, I was looking as masc as I could while doing the style that makes me comfortable and I want to achieve. I was doing my best everytime we went out to look presentable in the pictures, and I did well 9/10 times. At some point, there was a light festival as well. I went with one friends and my cousin and we had fun. My friend and I took pictures, my cousin didn't want hers taken but we still interacted a lot and had fun, I loved the pics of that day. I never got to post them, because my downfall came soon after. At that point in time, I was finally living the dream. I posted frequently on ig (bc i went out frequently) and even though i wasn't anyone big, no partnerships or anything, not even 1k followers, I was growing, and having been intoxicated by fame at age 12, it was just what I needed. My posts started getting 70 likes on average and 7-10 comments, i only had 500 followers but they were growing at an average of 20 followers/month. A lil tween reached out to me and told me he thought I was really cool and was my fan. Bro, that was awesome. Things were moving forward, and altough i felt afraid of the future, I was working on it all. I was making progress in other aspects as well,having come out formally recently and with help from my psychologist, we were going to start looking into hrt, and i just couldn't believe it. I only have read fast and short info. I never really wanted to inform myself more because deep within me I was just afraid I'd never be able to get it and get my hopes up for nothing. We appointed a session to talk about that. This was march, and at my house, we watched a Japanese channel (because we are all interested in Japanese culture and such) So I knew the coronavirus was coming. They started talking about it since the start, in december, obviously, because they are way closer to where the virus started so it spread faster there. I remember it was on a cruise first. I knew it would eventually arrive here, so through all summer i told my mother "it's only a matter of time." I knew it'd come. March was here, and the last time i went out with my friends came along. Inside my head, I felt like I knew that was the last time. I had thoughts about "I wonder if i'll ever get to see a sight like this again". I managed to take some pictures, because,inside me, I knew that was the last time. I wanted to preserve the memory of it. I didn't want to forget. At the time, with a friend, who took the same metro line as me but lives further away, since it was just us two, when saying goodbye we'd always say "see you in five minutes" (like in endgame, because i told her the whole movie and told her when they said that and then black widow died) and she LAUGHED so hard and it became an ongoing joke between us (we are both kinda suicidal ngl but we just laugh abt it.) We said it that day as well, but we actually never saw each other again lmao

At that point, in the country, there were about 4 covid cases. Only 1 in the capital, so it had started, but was only just the start. When I got home, i kind of knew that was the last. My classes started, and for two weeks, it was hell on earth. Online,obviously. I got paired up with the guy I hated the most in the entire generation (I only knew half of them, and liked even fewer, but this guy. fuck. i would have killed him. he was awful.) Anyways. Yeah. But at the end, classes got postponed until further notice. So I was now a Neet! For a while, even though coronavirus was getting worse and worse here as everywhere, I was doing good. I was living the introvert dream, and since I have a decent/good relationship with my parents and grandma, life was just great. All around me I saw everyone struggle with quarantine. I was having a blast. Playing sims, watching anime, anything went. Shit was great. Got Gta V for free when epic released it, and had a blast. Got obsessed with obey me for a while. It was all fun.... Met via discord with my friends. Almost daily with certain friends, once in a while with others, but the whole group would be together at least once. It was good, for me. I felt good. I would ocassionally wake up and tell my mother that I was happy, and hug her. I don't think i'd ever done that. I was at peak, and I knew it. Drew a lot, played a lot. Did a lot of things and projects. Everything felt ok...My dysphoria wasn't great during these times (since now i stay in pajamas all day except when I use camara to meet with friends, and obviously I dont wear my binder with my pajamas) But i had so much free time, that I could just ignore it. (I'm good at avoiding things. at running away.)

Classes started June 1st. First day, I had a breakdown. I don't remember why, but I couldn't connect to class. I felt overwhelmed. I don't know and don't like asking for help because i feel useless when I do. So I didn't. Apparently I seemed more upset than I thought, because my dad noticed. When comforted or confronted, I always cry. I can't talk about my feelings without crying. I feel weak for expressing them. Even writing this, i feel the knot in my neck. My dad saw and ended up helping and comforting. I cried a lot. I went to class, but spent the whole 3 hours of class crying. Things were unstable for a while, but I was keeping afloat, I guess. I started feeling like shit, I wasn't happy daily anymore. Online learning felt so distant and so difficult and so different. I don't like change. At least not without expecting it beforehand. So yeah, that ended up taking a toll on my mental health. The downfall started. I was quite busy, but still tried to meet with friends via discord whenever we could. We had some online birthdays, and season 3 of osomatsu san had already been announced. I was looking forward to it so much. I was in pain, but that thought was keeping me going. I started getting worse, mentally. I started isolating myself ocasionally. I have quite long gaps from this period. I can't really recall much of what happened or what it was like. At some point around August-September I was watching 6teen, because my uni decided that starting a semester and compressing it into a trimester was a good idea, and finals were in september, i think. At the time of finals, i was watching 6teen. I didn't wanna finish it, so I started total drama after. I had a week of vacation in September as well, and I think I was OK for the week.

I won't lie. I don't remember october. I only know Osomatsu-san started here bc I waited for it all year long. I regained closer contact with a friend who lives in japan. Halloween also had an online meeting. I cosplayed, and felt good with myself for the night, for the first time in months. But I ended up having a breakdown later that night. A friend who didn't come and had said he'd come ended up arriving very late (2-3AM ish, meeting was at 10PM) He was very drunk. I don't mind. He says he just came to say sorry he didn't come bc he ended up meeting with irls. We tell him it's ok. He disconnects. He reconnects not long after, but we are confused, since that's not his voice. It was his friend who took his phone, a classic party prank. Doesn't matter, it was fun for a bit. This guy is also mad drunk, so talking to him is weird and funny. But shit gets bad for me in a bit. I was using a voice changer, as I usually do online, because Im ashamed of my high pitched voice. But this guy misgenders me, more than once, and also my friend who lives in japan. He doesn't seem to care, and I act like I don't, but it hurts so bad. My other friend who was there at that time corrects him, more than once. I felt thankful to her. I never thanked her afterwards because I didn't know how to bring out that topic without crying. This guy is very drunk though, and altough i doubt he had vile intentions because of the way he phrased it, he insists, that those are womans voices. They talk about it a bit, verbal comebacks. I wanted them to stop. At some point, my friend who lives in Japan leaves bc its lunch time for him. I felt like shit. I just told this other guy "I'm 10" and he dropped the subject, he believed me and the explanation. My friend laughed her ass out, because she thought I said it as a joke. Truth is, that was just a desperate answer to get him to drop the topic. I dont really care if he believed I was 10 or not though. I just wanted it to stop. He jokes with my friend for a bit more. I didn't talk much after, because I felt ashamed. I didn't want to talk ever again. Even now, even with the voice changer, I don't have the confidence I had when I started using it. I have lowered the pitch twice, just in case. My friend left the call a bit later. When she left, I left as well. I was thankful to her though. I don't remember if i cried or not, but it caused me a massive breakdown for about two weeks. I didn't talk online with anyone until my birthday, I think. I didn't tell anyone but my psychologist this.

I don't remember November much either. I know it's my birthday, and I know I came back to tumblr in november. Yall know when. Canon destiel and shit. Tumblr hadn't felt so alive in years. It felt like home. I remember I was having a bad breakdown during that time. I think it was career related. I can't really remember much. The shitshow happening on tumblr Destiel Election actually helped me get better. I remember this only because of a conversation I had with a friend. I started working on christmas decorations as well. December came along, I worked hard on christmas decorations. I played a bit as well, because on some of my classes I just didn't have anything to do lol. Decorations were finished two weeks in advance for christmas. For the first time ever! I was happy. During these times,Nov-Dec lockdowns started easing up a bit. I still can't go out at all though, because I live with my grandmother, so we're supposed to minimize risks. My parents only go out for shopping essentials that can't be bought online. So it's fair and I understand it, but it started becoming hard on mental health. Not because I can't go out, but because my friends start going out. They know I can't go, they don't exclude me, but they know I can't and I also know I can't. I guess in a form, its jealousy. It becomes hard because there's no one to blame. It's no one's fault. I'm not excluded on purpose, but the truth is, I don't want to hear them talk about what they do when they have fun. I've always been insecure. Even when all evidence points otherwise, I still believe, deep inside,they hate me. They wish I weren't in the group and would be better off without me. It gets hard sometimes.

Even though in general December was quite good, it also came with a major breakdown. One of my best friend's bday is in December. Up until then, Me, her, and another friend had been playing league of legends nearly daily. It was toxic sometimes (the game/community, not my friends) but we had fun. I just liked playing together. But that would come to an end as well. My friend celebrated her birthday, and did invite me, but obviously I couldn't go,and she knew this beforehand, so she didn't get mad or anything. She handled the situation very well, wrote on the gc once, and then did a special gc for birthday attendants to talk about details there and such, and reminded friends who asked in the gc to talk in the birthday gc. (this is how i knew, but i think it was well done tbh, i wish they'd just asked in the bday gc instead so i wouldn't have seen it and felt bad about how i couldn't go) My friend also offered to have me as an online guest, like, being in videocall in the computer on the table. like Karen from spongebob ig. the idea was cool, but honestly i felt bad. She celebrates her bday with her gf bc their dates are near, and I just didn't really want to inconvenience them? I mean, her gf is cool and she used to hang out with our group ocassionaly and she was cool and fit in, and it never felt awkward talking to her irl or anything but it's not like she's my friend and honestly I didn't wanna inconvenience her party, and even though I'm sure my friend wouldn't have minded, I didn't want to be an extra inconvenience for her too. I just wanted her to have fun, honestly. But feeling like a burden ended up weighing on my mind. This caused a bad bad breakdown, beforehand I had started to become better,little by little, but these two weeks waiting for that event to happen felt like a nightmare to me. I didn't tell anyone. I think i wrote it about here once. Around this time, an account on instagram called "matsunoadvice" got reccomended to me, and Oh boy Have I gone to them for advice. Of course, I sent them a message at the time, desperate for someone to talk to, because I couldn't tell anyone about this, because all my other friends know each other kinda and i didn't wanna inconvenience everyone. I didn't want anyone to know i felt like shit. I felt thankful to my friend, because she did try her best to include me, I just didn't really wanna inconvenience anyone. I guess I'd rather suffer alone myself than being a pain in the ass for someone else. After all, I've accepted that I'm alone long ago, and since now there's nothing I can do to maintain my social relationships now,I may as well just accept that theyre ending now. I kind of isolated myself for those two weeks, sometimes i would still connect on discord, but it always felt kind of distant. I stopped playing league of legends around this time.

I still hadn't confirmed to my friend if i was virtually going or not. Truth is, i kind of knew I probably wouldn't want to go in the end, bc im Like That™ But i told her in advance that i'd let her know the date of the event early in the day because of how unstable I am and I wouldn't actually be sure until the day (which was true when I told her) So the day of the event i told her that I was thankful but I wouldn't be assisting virtually and told her to have a great day! She replied okay in a nice way as she always did. I don't think she seemed weirded out by my answer. I hope she didn't feel bad, because she's very empathetic so I hope she didn't think about me at all that day. I hope she never reads this, and even if she does, she didn't really do anything wrong and handed the situation the best she could, the pain was unevitable for me due to the situation. beforehand i had also had a similar breakdown though, because 3 friends who i was/am? still very close to started meeting each other to skate together. I don't know how to skate/have never skated and obviously can't go either way, and sometimes they'd talk about it in the vc. I remained calm always until the call ended,but I did cry about it late at night. It's selfish, of course, but when no one saw anyone, it was easier. we were all the same. But now it felt like they were all moving on without me. In a way, it's what I always wanted, but I always wished to die first. I know it's not sane, but i'd imagined situations like that in my head, where I die and then everyone moved on and it made me feel calmer. But seeing that unfold before my eyes, when i'm still breathing here, i'm still here. It felt lonely. I'm glad they're having fun. I'm just upset I can't do it as well? And it makes me feel like inevitably my relationships with them will break and fall apart and dissapear and they're all still gonna be a interwined network, even though I did everything I could to maintain it because it's all I've ever had outside of my direct family? I didn't make any friends at uni or have a different group of friends so it just...hurt? It still hurts, i'm just more used to it. Also after the bday i did try to connect in vc but it just made me worse, like a friend said like "noo it got too wild honestly u didnt miss anything" and i was like lmao ok but i felt like kinda sad anyways but if i was there i wouldve probably slept through it anyways

...after i felt awful bc i have another friend who is just kinda blunt and kinda dumb when it comes to how others feel, and he was like ohh yeah but after the bday [friend] took us and some of [friends gf's friends] to our houses and since it was early we went to a mcdonalds and it was so fun !! and it was just so uncomfortable bc obviously im glad you have fun but like i dont wanna know??? bc it hurts a fuckin lot???? and my other friend who was also in vc (he was the one w the car) he was like "haha yeaaa it was fun" but he seemed quite uncomfortable talking abt it he could probably tell i didnt wanna hear and ik my other friend only did it bc he's naive not bc he had bad intentions but yeah it sucked i was like haha thats great heh.....like what ya want me to say babe

Christmas arrived and it ended up helping me a lot. Christmas is my favorite holiday and I decorated a month in advance, baked cookies for the first time (with my mom) and we just did a lot of things this year. It made me happy and kept me occupied through the pain (I know i described a lot of pain here but I only paid attention to it at night, which is why it still hurts now probably bc i've had it all repressed) And of course the gifts, honestly I didn't know what to expect because this year I didn't really know what to ask for and just asked for a surprise (because i love receiving things! anything) And my dad definetely outdid himself with all the gifts, I loved them and they're all useful too! I was amazed and i told my friends abt it and it ended up in me talking more in the vc again, and i also started playing genshin impact in late december as well. We also held a secrer santa in the group but not everyone participated (mostly bc of money) but the 4 of us that did was fun! i knew everyone's secret santa bc 2/4 asked to me for help and they were mutual </3 so i knew me and my other friend were mutual too lol but it was cool. I kinda was a bitch a bit though bc he delievered my gift to my home and was going to come a random day and I just wasn't prepared bc I was afraid of seeing him honestly I didn't want to see him and I hoped he wouldn't come? He didn't come that day but he did come some days after, I truly wasn't ready at that point anyway and my mom said we could let him inside if he sanitized, but he came with his mother and didn't get out of the car, we just exchanged the gifts, and honestly I was glad, i was polite and just said hi to both and thanks and all! Obviously i love him a lot bc we're close but idk why i didnt want him to come into my house i just feel like im so boring now and I dont know what we couldve talked abt and honestly ive always been shy but now i just forgot how to socialize and i was terrified so when he didnt get out i was just glad.....well, also

I feel like all of these incidents separated me and my friend who had her birthday on december. Now she wouldn't join the vc or gc often (or say she couldn't, which she usually did before) so I just assumed she hated me, but i didn't really have the guts to ask? She still liked my memes on the gc sometimes but not as she used to, she always used to like every single meme (or nearly all) and she never talked over me (I always get talked over except when I'm drunk bc i become a bit less shy therefore more violent) and would even call others out for me when talked over and always respected everything i told her abt me (Through the years, i've told her some of my deepest shits bc i just trust her like that i dont mind if she knows) but it just felt distant? Also a bit before that, at the start of december we started streaming on twitch, and that week i was very bad I told her i wouldn't play much bc i wasnt doing well but I was up for streaming bc i rly wanted to be professional abt it even if we dont pursue it as a career, but in the end we didnt stream, and fell out of streaming a bit after that. I was kind of afraid to ask her if she wanted to stream again, but we'd talked once and she said she'd finally gotten the cat earphones for the streams (she mentioned she wanted them beforehand) yeah anyways i dont think she actually hates hates me but idk the idea still lingers in my mind

uh yeah also i felt like shit for a bit bc i thought she definetely hated me bc we hadnt talked in a bit and she didnt like my memes anymore so i just assumed the worst, i even listened to break up music (which is what i do when a friendship ends bc altough ive never rly had strong romantic feelings for anyone that kind of song helps me move on after friend breakups too bc no one warns you abt how painful these are) and i cried obviously, but again i never mentioned it to anyone (i made a few vague textposts here though) and just got my shit together even if it hurt? lol, well a bit of time passes and everything seems to go back to normal, i dont remember how she told us but she said she had a job now which is why she didnt connect much and slept earlier and i felt relief lol bc i legit thought she hated me and i felt like shit abt it lol i mean the idea they kinda hate me lingers in my mind all the time but at that point in life i was like. SURE she hated me until that point. now we ocasionally play genshin together but i cant really talk at that time and that also makes me upset bc i do wake up late and im trying to fix my schedule a bit by waking up at 2pm instead of 5 pm but it doesnt even matter bc i play board games with my grandma daily (bc its good for her and its fun i do enjoy it) i just wish we could do it earlier bc lately she gets up at like 9pm and i end up finishing playing at 11/12/1 and its just kinda late to meet w my friends bc i always have smth to do/finish after and i just cant make it in time even if i wake up earlier? lol but i cant change her schedule so theres nothing i can do but cry about it

oh also ik matsunoadvice gave me advice on this but like there's this friend who i love obviously but sometimes he just talks abt his meetings w other friends and like it only makes me angry as fuck and i cant ask him to not bc im too shy but i wish he could stop. and also when he complains abt skate related stuff it makes me unexplainably angry but like i have no reason or right to im just angry bc i cant do that and probably never will bc i doubt ill ever be able to go out again ?? lol. and he even offered like "when we go out again u should come and ill lend u my skate and if u like it u can get one" and honestly its all super nice and i appreciate it and ive thanked him and told him yes but it just makes me feel angry inside bc i dont see an ending with all the mutations and shit and my voice cracks when i tell him haha yeah if we ever meet again bc honestly my youth is already over and i just spent it like a social recluse and i read a post here when i was younger that said like lgbt people spend their teens closeted and ashamed and live their teens in their twenties but now im gonna miss my twenties to the pandemic and then ill be too fucking old and itll be too fucking late and ill have to die and i just never lived bc i still havent even transitioned yet and i doubt ill ever be able to (this also causes me a lot of pain but i will ignore it) and the other day he said like i hope i can see u this year bc i miss u and i just said that honestly ive lost all hope of ever seeing anyone again and my voice cracked and my other friend said something related but not so related and im just glad he talked in bc i didnt rly care i just wanted to change the topic bc i know ill never see them again and eventually probably lose contact and see them all have fun together without me just as if i was dead but just didnt pass away and its difficult but i have to accept it and it hurts a lot now but in 7 years itll be fine, just like i accepted im unlovable and will never have a s/o and when i was 12 that hurt a lot but now it doesnt so someday i will be alone but i hope it doesnt hurt anymore.

this is all a mess and the format is everywhere and theres no timeline i hope no one reads it. if u do read it im sorry. i just honestly been carrying all of this for a while now and i want it out of my system honestly bc i dont know what to do with it and i was on the verge of a breakdown for a minimal thing hours ago i just want all this info out of my brain.....also obv these are only the bad things that have happened/good things that took me out of the hole but a lot of good things happened too lol and i skipped a lot of imp points like i changed careers and shit and also i met a lot of cool mutuals since i got back to tumblr and ososan been carrying my mental health every monday but yeah i just wanted the negatives out of the system. the frustrations and the anger. i hope no one reads this fr its so messy

[higuchimon]

[fanfic]  Rewards of Losing:  Chapter 3

Mizael preferred the night shift but when he knew someone would be wandering his garden, he wasn’t averse to making the effort to wander in the daylight. The plants in the garden whispered among themselves as he wandered, quite pleased to see him. He brushed his hands carefully along some of them; it had been a while since he’d seen them. They enjoyed the attention, releasing more of their lovely fragrances at his touch.

He’d only been there a couple of hours before he caught sight of purple. He took another look and saw blue as well. There was the Healer he’d seen – who still gave the same sensation that he had the night before. The plants all whispered in glee; it had been some time since there had been two Healers there at the same time.

Mizael started towards the two of them, trying hard not to look too long as the Firestarter as he got closer. He wasn’t having a lot of luck; everything about this Firestarter drew his attention. He’d seen a few tall people in his time but this one had to be one of the tallest. His hair was a deep shade of blue and while he wasn’t close enough for Mizael to be sure, he thought the eyes matched. They both wore ordinary enough clothes, Yuuri in a different outfit from what he’d had the night before, and the Firestarter in shades of blue.

Who is he? Mizael allowed himself to think only that before he mentally jerked himself up. They were courting! He didn’t even know the Firestarter’s name! Very bad things happened to Healers and Firestarters who poached or even attempted to poach. Those things often involved being set afire or fed to a hungry plant.

And when they didn’t, they usually involved combat of some kind. Mizael believed he could get the best of just about anyone who he fought against, but it wasn’t worth the energy. He would be polite. He would not be a poacher.

He did raise one hand to greet them. Yuuri nodded towards him and nudged his companion. The Firestarter glanced over and his eyes locked on Mizael’s.

For a few seconds, Mizael wasn’t entirely certain of how one breathed. It wasn’t just the sense of flames there – far more powerful than any that he recalled seeing, ever. But the duelist’s spirit that glowed inside this new arrival made him ache for his deck and duel disk. It didn’t matter who won, as long as they strove against one another.

“Hello,” Yuuri said as they came within speaking distance. “You’re the Healer that I met last night, aren’t you?”

Mizael fought to center himself. He smiled instead. “Yes. Mizael.” He kept his attention on the Healer – Yuuri, he remembered the name was.

“This is the Firestarter I’m courting.” Yuuri nodded at the tall young man, who drew himself out of whatever his inner thoughts were to nod at Mizael.

“Marufuji Ryou. A pleasure to meet you.” His words held perhaps a fraction more warmth than when strangers normally meant and Mizael had to remind himself all over again that he wasn’t a poacher.

Mizael nodded. “Likewise.” Empty courtesies and nothing more, but they allowed him the time to feel those impressive flames, even with the distance between them. He’d not felt fire like that ever, not even around IV, the strongest Firestarter that he knew of.

Marufuji didn’t exactly make IV feel like a candle-flame but a flame-spar between the two of them would be a thing of legend.

At least there was something else that he could focus on right now. “Are you certain that you want to wait until this weekend for the duel?” He asked Yuuri. “I’m ready now.”

Yuuri heaved a somewhat overdone sigh. “I still don’t have my deck and duel disk with me.” He tapped the fingers of one hand on his opposing arm. “However, you have yours, don’t you?” He turned his attention to Marufuji, who nodded. “Why don’t the two of you have a duel? I’ll watch.” His eyes glinted with excitement. “In fact, this weekend, I’ll duel the winner. If it’s you, Mizael, I’ll duel you twice.”

Mizael thought that sounded perfect. He gestured up to a higher area. “We can duel up there. You’ve got a D-Gazer, don’t you?”

“Of course.” Marufuji slipped it out of his pocket. It matched flawlessly to his coloring, of course, as did the duel disk that joined it a breath later. As the three of them headed that way, Mizael wondered exactly what sort of dueling he would see against him. He always enjoyed finding out what strategies his opponents had, and finding ways to bring them to a swift end.

Interesting. A voice that only he could hear echoed in his ears. He could see Jinlong there, in his human form, gaze fixated on the other two duelists. Very interesting indeed.

Mizael tilted his head to the side, not enough for his walking companions to notice, but he knew that Jinlong would know what he was thinking. What was so interesting about them? What could catch the attention of an eons old dragon about two ordinary – well, very powerful – Healer and Firestarter?

They’re not like anyone I’ve seen around here. Very different indeed. Jinlong shook his head, his braid a soundless wisp of white. Let’s see what this duel shows us, shall we?

When Jinlong spoke like that, there wasn’t anything that one could do except accept it. Mizael focused on getting his cards shuffled and preparing or what would come next.

Just as the two of them activated their disks and D-Gazers, Mizael caught sight of a streak of pitch black behind Marufuji. He blinked for a second, realizing it was a Healer Cat. Seeing ones that weren’t bonded just wandering wasn’t especially unusual, but it also wasn't common. Healer Cats and Fire Cats did as they pleased, exactly as common cats did, except for being more vocal about it.

Huh. Wonder what they’re doing here. The Healer Cat stayed where it was, eyes tracking on someone. Mizael thought it might be Marufuji but he couldn’t be certain. He said nothing at all; Marufuji was being courted by a Healer already and that Healer Cat would be able to tell.

He refocused himself on getting the duel started. Yuuri hummed, gazing between the two of them, before he gestured towards Mizael.

“You can have the first turn,” he declared grandly. “I look forward to seeing what you can do.”

Mizael got to business right away. He didn’t want to summon Jinlong, the ace of his deck, right away. He wanted to see what Marufuji could do first. He enjoyed a good, swift duel, once he knew how strong his opponent was.

Marufuji seemed to play a Machine-type deck, one with a focus on dragons and other creatures of myth. As soon as his turn began, he summoned a powerful level five monster, made so much easier because Mizael had one of his monsters on the field already.

So that’s why Yuuri wanted me to go first. He knew that Marufuji would use it to his advantage. He wasn’t at all surprised. That was good thinking. In a sense he wasn’t fighting one opponent, but two, who knew each other very well.

Back and forth the two of them went, biting into one another’s life points as they did. Mizael noticed quickly something unusual – that Marufuji didn’t have any XYZ monsters at all. Before he could stop himself, he asked that.

“No. That’s not the style of summoning that I use,” Marufuji said. “I have something else.”

His gaze flicked over to Yuuri, who nodded, raw eagerness flickering all over his features. Then Marufuji did something Mizael hadn’t ever seen before. He’d heard of it, but he’d never seen it.

“I activate Fusion in my hand to merge my three Cyber Dragons into Cyber End Dragon!”

The monster was magnificent. Mizael couldn’t argue that at all. Jinlong still wasn’t on the field, but Mizael heard his impressed whisper regardless. What a wonderful creature. I do hope-

What he hoped Mizael wasn’t sure about. Cyber End Dragon took a huge chunk from his life points, and if he hadn’t had a face-down trap that negated most of the damage, it could have been so much more. Mizael shuddered at the blow, stumbling back a few steps, then steadied himself.

“That’s amazing,” he declared, staring at the three-headed metallic creature that rose over him. He grinned. “I’m going to enjoy taking it down.

“Do your best,” Marufuji said, a smile teasing at his lips for a few seconds. “Whatever you can do.”

What Mizael could do was finally find a way to summon Jinlong. Jinlong’s effects worked best against Dragon-Type monsters, but that wasn’t an insurmountable barrier. A couple of other cards combined to change Jinlong’s effect to affecting Machine-types – he could hear Jinlong complaining – and he took Cyber End Dragon away from Marufuji.

Hello there, Mizael murmured to the great creature as it came to stand in front of him. He expected one of two things – either nothing at all, the reaction he got when the monster had no spirit, or the awareness of the spirit directed towards him. But instead, Cyber End Dragon’s attention was all on Marufuji. The awareness was so strong Mizael wondered that other people couldn’t see it or feel it.

He mentally shook his head. He would work that out later. Jinlong would probably no more. He needed to wrap this duel up. Marufuji didn’t have anything left in his hand or face down, so with Cyber End Dragon and Jinlong working together, they finished off the last of his life points.

It took a few more minutes after that for both of them to recover. Mizael crossed over and handed Cyber End Dragon back to him. “That’s an amazing monster you have. I’ve never seen anyone who uses that Summons Style either.”

“It’s common where we’re from,” Yuuri said, eyes glittering. “I use it too. I really can’t wait until I can duel you.”

“Likewise.” Mizael wondered what sort of monsters that Yuuri might have in his deck. He could feel the strength of at least one spirit there, one that he could almost swear stared at him even without being summoned.

That’s because it is. I can’t see it myself. It conceals itself very well. But it’s powerful beyond measure. Jinlong rubbed his chin in thought. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a spirit like this before. How fascinating.

Mizael didn’t have a chance to ask further questions. Marufuji started to say something, then broke off, his eyes resting on something else. Mizael turned to see what he saw and saw nothing unusual at all – just someone going by with their Cat.

‘What is that?” Marufuji murmured. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Yuuri turned in that direction as well. “That is a very large cat,” was all that he said. Mizael tilted his head, catching a tiny glimpse of that black cat sliding deeper into the shadows. Whether it was still there or not he wasn’t sure.

“It’s a Fire Cat,” he said, taking a better look to be certain. “Probably with their Healer.” He shrugged. “You’ve never seen one that big before?” Cats were big. There were many reasons people gave them the same respect as they did human Healers and Firestarters, starting with the fact they also came armed with sharp teeth and claws and the will to use them if necessary.

“I’ve never see one at all,” Marufuji told him. Mizael blinked. That wasn’t the answer that he’d expected.

“Really? I thought they were everywhere.” He’d certainly never herd of anywhere where Cats hadn’t existed. They went with Healers and Firestarters. He might have been less surprised to hear that their hometown didn’t have a sun in the sky.

Yuuri shook his head. “We come from a very remote place. You’ve likely not heard of it before.”

“Shinokawa,” Marufuji offered. “I’ve checked. It’s not even on any maps.”

That sounded odd. Mizael hadn’t heard of it, true, but he thought most maps had most places. Perhaps he’d been mistaken. But to even think that such a remote place had no Fire Cats or Healer Cats…

Those should be a part of everyone’s basic education. Finding out otherwise didn’t feel right. He was torn between asking for more details and checking in with the Guild. He wasn’t overly fond of the Guild to start with, but it was their job to keep an eye on the education of all Healers and Firestarters.

Yuuri’s hand rested on Marufuji’s. “It was a lovely duel and I look forward to seeing you this weekend. But we have somewhere else to be right now.” There was a hint of distance already in his voice. He said nothing more, but turned, taking Marufuji with him.

Mizael wasn’t at all sure of what had just happened. The two of them were quickly out of sight, and he settled himself down on the nearest bench, thinking.

So strange. So very strange..

Extremely so, Jinlong agreed. Cyber End Dragon definitely had a spirit and that spirit wasn’t pleased at being turned against their master. Understood it was merely a part of the game and no real harm was done, of course, but didn’t like it regardless.

Mizael nodded. He’d had that happen to some of his monsters in the past. He hadn’t liked it then either.

A whisper of black moved closer and he looked up to see the black Healer Cat from before standing in front of him. As always, he took a moment to recover from seeing just how large these Cats were. This one’s head could well come up to Marufuji’s waist and every ounce of it’s bulk was solid muscle. Intelligent gray eyes stared at him, and while it didn’t wear a harness to indicate it was bonded, the Cat did have a collar with a bag around the neck, offering it a place to store such items as its registration card. So it wasn’t a wild Cat at all, even if it was as big as one.

“Hello,” Mizael greeted. “Is there something I can do for you?” Unbonded Cats weren’t known for walking up to unbonded Healers or Firestarters, especially if they were of like type. He might have expected a Fire Cat, if one decided that he was worth bonding to. But a Healer Cat wasn’t expected.

“Perhaps. My name is Kei.” The Cat told him. No one quite knew how Cats could twist their mouths to speak in human languages when it wasn’t possible for standard cats. Some biologists considered it a byproduct of the Wildfire Virus, the long ago plague that created Healers and Firestarters, Healer Cats and Fire Cats, in the first place.

Mizael didn’t know. What he knew was that it was best to be very polite to something that weighed roughly the same as an adult human, and had all the claws and teeth of a cat and the intelligence of a human.

He wondered at times what human history would be like if they didn’t share the planet with an equally intelligent and powerful species that chose to aid them. Probably not a world he would want to live on.

“I’m Mizael,” he said. “Are you looking for someone in particular?”

“The one I want just left. The Firestarter – Marufuji Ryou.” Kei settled don in front of Mizael, tail draping over his paws. “But I think I want to talk to you about him.”

That wasn’t anything like what Mizael expected. “What do you mean?”

“He is my Firestarter. He might be yours as well.”

Mizael jerked up, trying hard to ignore the sensation of warmth that came from the very idea. He shook his head quickly. “Those two are already courting, I’m not going to poach.” He’d told himself that quite a few times already.

“You wouldn’t be. That one isn’t the proper one for him.” Kei shook his head. “But Ryou isn’t in the mind-frame to see that right now.”

Mizael frowned. “What are you talking about?”

The tip of Kei’s tail twitched, his ears flicking back and forth. “I don’t know everything. I know he’s doing something that should make him unhappy. But I don’t know why he isn’t and why he won’t stop. I don’t think he wants to do it but he doesn’t know he shouldn't want to do it.’

Cats weren’t always known for being direct but Mizael thought this was a little off even for a Cat.

“What are you talking about?”

“I can show you where he does this. I know what it looks like but if I told you, you wouldn’t believe me right now. You need to see it for yourself.” Kei stared at him. “You know he has the spirit of a true duelist.”

Mizael nodded. He’d felt it blazing against him and if he hadn't been lucky in his draws, then he would have been the one defeated.

“But I’m not going to poach,” he reminded Kei. That went beyond wrong. It was rude. If they decided that they weren’t going to bond, then that was one thing. But from what little he’d seen -

Mizael stopped right there and considered. What had he seen? Yuuri seemed very – possessive. That wasn’t wrong, by itself. Some people liked that and most Healers and Firestarters were possessive anyway, to some degree. Forging a bond was a sacred act that wasn’t done lightly by any means. The right choice had to be made.

He didn’t think he’d seen Marufuji trying to pull away and there wasn’t any hint of Bond’s Bud that he’d detected. Growing that was illegal just about everywhere. He would have noticed some of the scent around Marufuji if that were the case.

But at the same time, the more that he considered it, the more certain he became that Kei might just be right.

To Be Continued

Notes: I would have written the entire duel out but Mizael has very little in his deck that doesn’t aim for summoning his Numbers and since Numbers don’t exist there, it wasn’t worth the effort. Jinlong has his basic effects but just isn’t a Number. And yes, Mizael can see and hear duel spirits.

[pixie-skull]

# 12 Post, part 2: FINALLY Top Ten 2D Animated Women’s List

Update August 12th! Updates in bold.

So I am behind on my promise and seeing this net neutrality could happen here my top lady crushes. I try to go into detail. I have to admit number 10 going to be confusing see her movie has different animation styles, so I try find a picture of which one I like more. ON TO THE DELAYED LISTED. Reminder none of my new crushes can be made after 2016, when I graduate high school. Warning lots of breasts. Hey I am Pan, as in pansexuality, so yes I am mostly romantic, yet I want to clarify, I am not liking the characters for that. Also, I tried list movies from animated companies, or else this be Disney mostly. XD Here the RULES https://indigo-psyduck.tumblr.com/post/167091245072/post-12-part-1-rules-for-animated-crush-list

10. 2010′s Dante's Inferno: An Animated Epic Beatrice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1C9WtnOr7Y  So now I  said I have two styles I really like, yes this movie has 5 or 6 styles. O.O 

So I chose this design of ALL other, maybe has a close second, yet this (due to it enhances the Souls and Demons)

 Now on to the reasons she wins number 10. Her personality, hopeful, positive, loyal,  patient (still annoyed at Dante for what he did), honest, and just an embodiment of virtues. So besides being someone who so kind to have what happened to her is heartbreaking. Plus her overall appearance was attractive too. I am not sure why women’s almost naked I feel more comfortable seeing, yet men’s and non-binary I feel my demisexual side bit more antsy. Yes middle school me was both freaked out and at the same time enjoyed the film. Helps also I was figuring out my sexuality and came out in mid high school.  Oh and she stands ups for herself and tries not to be a prize. Unlike the video game, she is not a pushover. D: XD Also I am now sure I am asexual.

9.  2000′s Titan AE, Akima. 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXmcVV3WJWwEven though this movie was hard to watch(the CGI :( ), the characters and their designs are very fun to watch. Now besides being voiced by the attractive Drew Berrymore (fun fact is bi), the haircut, and those eyebrows, there more to Akima.  I like she reminds of (the stunning) Zoe from Firefly due to both pilots (in a sense) so have the voice call the shots, she can take care of herself, knows how to fight yet be not a killer, and more. I do personally headcanon her as bi. She very low on the list for I admit I saw the movie sooner than I like to admit, so she not as much a childhood crush, as a new one. Only her animated style was constant, unlike 10. Sorry, the gif changed her appearance a bit, I know in the movie she of Asian descent.

8. Now nine was tempted to put Gwen from “Total Drama Island”, first two seasons (I have a soft spot for dyed hair and punk and goth look), until I saw this movie. (I do plan do a maybe top five of TV 2D women)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVbX1NeWY9s&t=3s1992 Cool’s World Lonette.

 (I like how her hair so cute and messy here^ A sweet, short, messy, haircut. Also yes her body also quite nice XD ) I really find her kindness endearing such a negative world. Even though I like all eye colors, dark green eyes I am a sucker for. Also she was loving to Frank, makes hope for someone as affectionate as her. I know she Holli look very much in common, but Holli I felt lacked in such romance tenderness.

This smile ^ so adorable.

7. 1999′s Scooby-Doo! and the Witch's Ghost  Luna https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92jw0fxXca4

(in Violet and short red hair)I could have easily put this whole band down, yet I wanted pick their second singer.  The fact she sings, plays an instrument, in an eco goth band, dyed hair, her parent helped give the band their fangs, and more, is why I like her so much. Also she drawn in this movie she more drawn with details and for that she is more attractive.https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/p__/images/8/8c/New-ghrfh-the-hex-girls-24106229-720-480.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110909113258&path-prefix=protagonist < - - -  Close up on her.

6. 1993′s The Thief and the Cobbler, Yum-Yum.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZibUpH-AME&list=PL18B0CA620B61D076 and https://vimeo.com/88602144 

Shocked how few royals are on this list, especially for being a 90′s kid. So why Princess Yum-Yum, even though she a weird blend of Aladdin (I bring this up to claimed Disney and if they or if they did NOT steal from this movie) Jasmine (I also have a crush on her too) of having a voice and using her power, but sometimes seems underdeveloped in comparison. However to me that is only when compared, so she to me is still fleshed out. I am happy to see her make the band of thieves due what she says, she merciful, she helps Tack and does her fair of saving the day. Not just a pretty face, she actual does something.

5. ANY DC comics Batman adaptation of Selina Kyle also known as Catwoman.

(^ Not to stereotype, yet this “gay” haircut I love so much on her)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjQPXvQ7ZPQ

Now on to why I like her. First bonus is she cannoned as Bi as bisexuality. Now to the rest, she a character who in the grey waves of morals. She is either a villainess, anti-hero, or whatever. I enjoy also how much a tease she can be to Batman (thanks to her I can be like to my relationships too sometimes), she loves animals, she inspires me with her self defense and flexibility. Catwoman also she makes me comfortable being her dominate power force. I want to clarify I am waiting till marriage. XD I also like she kinda an example of a character, who can depicted with different racial background, body types, and more. I am aware some characters can not have such changes, yet Catwoman a positive example of done right.

4. 2003′s Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas, Marina. 

Shout to @animagix101and @thenamelessdoll edits of her, if from a racebend to giving her more muscles, thank you.Now why do I like this short haired ambassador? One she stands up for what she believes in, she a quick learner, she gives off vibes like she could be bi, poly, or pan, and is fearless, yet gives mercy. Her relationship is shown on screen to grow, not just boom love, yet (I do not like Sinbad by the way, I much more like Proteus). I was tempted to give this spotlight as a tie to Moses Tzipporah, yet I know ties are not fun for most people.

3. Sailor Moon (90′s version), Michiru Kaiou AKA Sailor Neptune. 

Now I know I am making this my 2D animated ladies from MOVIES, but she did make appearances in film. Sorry too the gif makes more pale (yes the characters in the anime are suppose to be Japanese). Shout out she also in the LGBTQ+ Community, cannoned as lesbian. Now on to why I like the Sailor Guardian of the planet Neptune? Besides having colorful hair (I am sorry dyed hair a bonus for me, like how accents are a bonus for other people), she has a colorful personality. XD She very artsy (I like people who can have a passion in something that is like theater, music, etc), romantic (like dang she and Sailor Uranus are soooooooooooooooo cute), funny, clever, and more.

2. Okay this rule is broken of only MOVIE ladies, yet this  a childhood crush since my elementary school years. 1996′s The Incredible Hulk animated Series and any other Hulk/Marvel product, Jennifer Walters AKA She-Hulk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MStHVaHNf_Y

XD Yes that scene beyond suggestive and yes her voice by the stunning Cree Summers. So what makes a delight, she can be funny and serious, an amazing lawyer (I believe the comic staff did this be part of the second wave of feminism [no hating for this, okay to be a feminist or have the ideas of one to want equality with men), confident in her body and mind, she has colorful hair, she so strong that I be happy be held by her, and more. XD It is kinda takes to her women of any height (she is “5'10" (in human form) 6'7" (as She-Hulk” according to http://marvel.com/characters/51/she-hulk)  because tall Titanesses need some love. Also yes sucker for either her She-Hulk green eyes or her Jennifer’s form with brown eyes and this cute haircut. So Bruce Banner or Hulk, can you give me your cousin’s number please? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2j4_C4cvSs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbVnnImJOYc

1. 1996′s The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Esmeralda. 

So I like Disney a lot to choose ONE woman is not easy to do, yet I chose to one who I know for the fact I can say just has more to crush on. For starters her personality (seeing beauty from within a huge trait I love), spreading mercy, standing up her others, her sense of Faith (I am Spiritual, so her song to me a great representation of faith - - - > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEEpavnk7Uw ), her voice (both speaking and singing <3 <3) rich (I thank real life cutie Demi Moore, in Ghost her haircut is something I want to mimic on day), and more. Looks, well as long you are not a woman who is straight and a man who is gay, I find it hard to believe you can not understand how she is a jaw dropper. I personally head cannon her Pan as in Pansexuality.

So before you assume anything, yes there one more cutie after this, why, because I like to count zero. XD

Honorable Mentions: 

X-Men: 

Raven Darkholme  AKA Mystique (fun fact I believe she is cannoned as Bi, even though I heancanon as Pan)

Ororo Munroe AKA Storm  (XD the Pan flag I love it)

Disney:

2001′s Atlantis: The Lost Empire Kida

1991′s Beauty and the Beast Belle (I love her hazel eyes and dimples)

1999′s Iron Giant: Annie 

0. 1982′s The Last Unicorn, Lady Amalthea. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-TioQfT-jg

Even though yes she barely seems happy, just something about her that so stunning. If her indigo eyes, silver hair (I want to maybe dye my hair like her’s one day, when my hair longer), or moment of smiling.

Okay now I looked at her physical appearance, how does Amalthea win by personality. With light spoilers (not going into detail) she starts and end the movie on a quest for herself and it is empowering to see her just do this for she wants to. Not out of love, a prophecy, nope just wanted to save more like her. She is does not give up, she goes on. Amalthea strong in her morals, she helps her friends, her arch is powerful, and so much more. PLEASE READ THE BOOK TOO! =D So I like to point out (because my sibling and I had a debate) I liked her when HUMAN and she call herself human, not sure why this confused my sibling.

*Please anyone name what traits stick out as reoccurring in my named character crushes.*

I challenge @thenamelessdoll @sailorzelda94 @myhollie1911 @cereittanyprincess15 @deanscourse ANYONE else to make their top animated women’s, men’s, non-binary, or your top animated crush list.

I want to clear up that listing women easier because men tend be less developed. So my top 10 men list be BOTH movies and TV, so I make a top 3 tv cartoon ladies.

@theghostlightison

So since I made this, I am making a top five different, details of why I like them stay the same, yet different spots

5. Maria

4. Sailor Neptune

3. Catwoman

2. Amalthea (I kinda like this “mad” gif looks more like checking someone out. XD ^*_*^ )

1. Esmeralda (I still hope to use this quote one day)

0. She-Hulk

[mononohke-archive]

Anime Roundup - Winter 2017 [Spoilers]

As always, this season flew by despite how disappointing it was (for anime that started airing during it, not leftovers from Fall 2016). Well, maybe it was also because near the end I started playing video games and fell behind on my normal watching schedule. Either way, it didn’t feel like a whole 3 months. I’m a little late, as usual, and I didn’t write as much this time around. (Chalk it up to laziness and distraction by the aforementioned video games.)

Overall: I think this season qualifies as the worst I’ve seen yet. So many disappointments but only one or two highs.

Featured Anime: Ao no Exorcist S2, Gintama., Rakugo Shinjuu S2, 3-gatsu no Lion, ACCA, All Out!!, ClassicaLoid, Nanbaka + S2, Onihei, Trickster

Total: 10 | Average Score: 6.8 | Word Count: 4,581

~ (DIRECT) SEQUELS ~

Ao No Exorcist: Kyoto Impure King Arc [5/10]

Let me be blunt, the only thing I actually give a crap about in Ao no Exorcist is Yukio. Specifically, Yukio as a character and his brother complex for Rin. That is really what carried me through the first season of AnE and made me feel like it deserved more than a 5. In season one, the whole dynamic between them, Yukio’s complicated feelings for Rin, and their rivalry was the main theme of a significant part of the show. But in this season and arc, Yukio is barely there at all. The shift focuses more to Suguro, his family, and the Impure King. While I don’t dislike Suguro (Nakai Kazuya being his voice helps), I really don’t care enough to watch a whole cour about him and his family. There’s a lot of Rin too, of course, but he’s the main character and that’s obviously unavoidable. 

Well, at least there a little bit of Yukio, however. He’s there for a few episodes and there’s like half an episode dedicated to his and Rin’s relationship, but that’s a pittance compared to the last season. For those reasons, AnE has dropped one point and just went into boring/average territory. If Yukio is a major part of next season or some future season, the score will go up to 6 again, but this one will stay at 5.

To give some credit though, I’m really grateful that they brought back all the original cast for this long awaited sequel. Unlike D.Gray-man last year, I never felt like something was wrong because all the voice actors and art style were different. It is unfortunate that they couldn’t get Keiji Fujiwara to reprise his role as Rin and Yukio’s father, but still 99% of the cast is the same.

Gintama. [8/10]

It is with a heavy heart that I have to give a title in the Gintama series less than a 10 (only applies to the main show and not movies/specials/OVAs). Unfortunately, the recent change in Gintama’s pace is tiring and got boring rather quickly. This problem was beginning to show in the previous season, but at least that had enough episodes and arcs to have more change. 

This season honestly didn’t have a bad start... it was really great seeing the Joui4 together again especially Sakamoto (since he appearances are normally so limited) but then it went into Kamui and Umibozu’s backstory arc. To be clear, I like Umibozu, don’t care about Kamui, and love Kagura, but this whole arc was mostly about Kamui, Umibozu, and Kouka (Kagura and Kamui’s dead mother). Kagura herself felt like an afterthought in this arc. This was more about explaining Kamui’s issues with his dad and how Umibozu met Kouka. 

Now, aside from my general disinterest in Kamui, the problem is not really with the backstory itself. It’s the fact that Gintama had turned into a battle shounen. I really dislike the pacing in battle shounens, especially if they are done badly *coughsNanbakacoughs*, and the worst part is that Gintama normally does these bits right in previous drama arcs. In this one though, it was boring... maybe not unbearable, but I found myself tuning out a lot more than I would watching Gintama - y’know, one of my all time favorite anime. 

Personally, I think the comedy in Gintama has always been stronger than the drama. The drama, when done in arcs between a lot of comedy, is really when it’s at its best because that is when the show brings a necessary change of pace and adds more depth to the characters. When it’s just one drama arc after the other, the battle shounen portions tend to take over. Plus, I just really miss the humor. It always gelled with me and that’s why I loved the show so much from the beginning. I miss laughing my ass off every episode, but in season I only chuckled a few times.

There is one silver lining though and that is Utsuro, who is becoming more and more interesting. While it is kind of cliche that he came back from the dead and turned out to be immortal, I think the way it’s presented is really good, and I can’t wait to see more of him. The last episode giving his backstory definitely pulled me in for the next season. I just hope it lightens up a little more because the comedy is where Gintama always shined the best.

Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu: Descending Stories [9/10]

This show... how am I supposed to talk about it? I want to do a proper review that does it justice, but obviously that review would be spoiler free. In this post though, I think I’ll just quickly summarize my overall feelings.

First, let me say that Rakugo has totally met my expectations in S2. It expanded on the story pretty much just as perfectly as it needed to. There was one little thing that ruined it just a teeny bit near the end, but honestly it was otherwise masterful. For me to articulate exactly how I feel, I really need to rewatch both seasons. Sorry, I’m gonna skip actually putting effort into this lol, but I will try my best to get out a proper review on MAL later. Maybe one day I’ll even attempt an analysis, but that’s far off.

~ INDIRECT SEQUELS  & NON-SEQUELS~

3-gatsu no Lion [9/10]

3-gatsu no Lion is easily one of the best and most emotional anime that I’ve seen recently. I’m actually surprised that it is a Shaft production (most famous for the Monogatari series and Madoka Magica), but it has Shaft all over it with Akiyuki Shinbo at the helm. I know some people have mixed or negative feelings on his style of direction, but I like it in all the other Shaft shows I watched and I especially like it here. It’s the first time I’ve seen Shaft do an anime like 3-gatsu, which has no fanservice, no harem (elements), no strong humor, nor any fantasy or supernatural elements.

In my opinion, they did an excellent job. If 3-gatsu was not presented in the way it is, it might not have been as interesting as it is. It would’ve been so easy to make this a dry and boring adaptation, but Shaft brings it to life with such incredible bold, imagery. And it pulls off mood whiplash (sudden mood changes) a lot better than most anime I’ve seen. Normally, I think they clash with the overall tone, but when 3-gatsu does it, it feels like an exaggerated version of what happens in real life, where tone does not stay consistent between moments.

Then there’s Rei, the main character. He really skirts the line between being relatable or not. On the one hand, he is a Shogi genius and makes his own living at age 17. On the other hand, he has a complicated past, depression, and is a very down to earth and nice person. The whole series really rests on Rei’s shoulders, as he is the narrator and everything revolves around him. But I think he’s excellent written and relatable despite being essentially a child prodigy. 

Speaking of the shogi, I was also worried that it would be hard to understand the series because I don’t know shogi very well. Thankfully, that’s not the case. While there is a significant amount of focus on the shogi, the real focus on the characters. I’m sure for people who are familiar with shogi, it gives an extra layer to the narrative, but even for those who aren’t, it’s not so focused on the games that there’s nothing left. At least shogi has similarities to chess, which most westerners have a passing knowledge of. Still, even if you know fuck all about shogi and chess, I think the great depth of characters and the wonderful visuals carry the show and make it incredibly watchable.

ACCA: 13-ku Kansatsu-ka [7/10]

I... liked ACCA. Don’t love it, but liked it well enough. It has a uniqueness to it that you don’t see often in anime. For example the cast are all adults and most of them are government bureaucrats, the plot revolves around a conspiracy, and the anime is fairly slow paced and is very light on action. More than half the series is spent on world-building, with very little romance or other cliches. I could probably go on.

The color palette and art style is also a highlight with lots of bright, pastel colors. ACCA is just a neat little package of an anime that I appreciated watching for being something a little different. Have to say though, I’m not sure how much this will stick to me in the long run. Some of the world, maybe, and definitely the art style/colors, but not really the characters or plot.

All Out!! [6/10]

What initially drew me to All Out!! is a) rugby, never seen that sport before in an anime and b) incredible diversity in body types with a very wide variation in height, muscularity (although most are muscular guys), and weight (never seen so many chubby guys in an anime). So, while All Out!! does have some things that set it apart, unfortunately in literally every other way, it’s pretty much exactly the same as other sports anime. The protagonist is, OF COURSE, a newbie who joins the sport for the first time as a high school freshman. He’s overly energetic and most of the rest of the team thinks he’s annoying, but he’s super motivated and improves at an incredible rate. And he has another freshman friend who is a lot more experienced and naturally talented at the sport who serves a foil (especially since they have opposite personalities). The captain is an extremely motivated guy who’s tough on his team, but he’s also incredibly protective of them ie. team dad, and so on. The cliches just don’t stop...

That doesn’t mean AO is unenjoyable, just that the unique elements in the beginning wore off rather quickly and I was left with another run-of-the-mill sports anime (especially since this show is 25 episodes and not 12). My ratings for sports anime thus far have worked on a different scale than most other anime simply because sports is such an unusual genre with its own strict conventions that I have no choice but to rate them compared only to others in the genre. That means if sports anime were judged relative to the rest of anime I’ve seen, they would be rated lower (by between .5-1 points) because 95% of them have the exact same plot and many of the exact same characters. 

I mention this because as I’ve watched more and more sports anime, my standards have steadily been getting higher and are finally starting to match the rest of my rating scale. If this was one of the first sports anime I ever watched, it would easily be an 8/10. Now, as the dozenth sports anime I’ve seen, it’s only a 6/10. I am finally getting really tired of the old sports anime cliches and want more unique experiences. That’s why I praised Baby Steps so much for being different when I recently saw it. Looking back, I may have to re-rate some of the other sports anime I’ve seen, especially more recently like Days of the Summer/Fall seasons last year.

So, do I regret watching All Out!!? No, it has some good and fun stuff in there. Will I watch if there’s another season of it? Probably (even though I don’t necessarily want to) because I only avoid sequels if I give the first series a 5/10 or less... even then sometimes I’ll keep watching for the sake of keeping up (fcking K). Would I recommend AO in the end? Nah, unless you’re really interested in rugby.

ClassicaLoid [8/10]

I... feel almost ashamed to give this show such a high rating. Looking at MAL, my score is a whole 1.53 points higher than the standard deviation, and one of the most incongruous scores I’ve ever given - in the positive direction. In the negative direction, I happen to have some highly unpopular opinions on anime like Erased, Sword Art Online, and Mirai Nikki. 

For a long while, I just couldn’t decide on a score. Normally, I know pretty early on what score I’m going to give an anime, give or take a point in either direction (or two if the anime pulls something towards the end). By the end of a show’s airing, I usually pretty much know exactly what I want to give it. (This doesn’t apply so much to my precise ratings, but rather the broad score I give on MAL.)

For ClassicaLoid, I didn’t know whether I wanted to give this show a “guilty pleasure, I know this show is bad but I enjoyed it a lot” 6/10 rating, a “fuck it, because I loved this show that much 8/10 rating”, or a 7/10 as the balanced alternative. As you can see, I ultimately decided on an 8 (more specifically a low 8, but an 8 nonetheless) in the end. Yes, I really do love this show, and I did find it just that enjoyable and hilarious. It’s one of the funniest comedies I’ve seen recently and definitely my favorite comedy of 2016 (over the likes of Sakamoto Desu Ga? and Handa-kun).

The thing about ClassicaLoid is that if I didn’t love the characters so much and find it funny, it would be a pretty bad show. It seems pretty polarizing because a lot of people think this show is stupid and hate it for that reason. In my opinion, it is stupid, but it has some self-awareness and never takes itself seriously. The other thing is the humor. If the humor does not gel with you, you will hate this show, and that’s also highly subjective and polarizing. I think the humor is spot on most of the time, with great comedic timing and gags. There’s also, I guess, the “gimmick” of the show which is arguably the whole point - the remixes of classical music in the vocaloid style. 

Tbh, I’m not at all familiar with vocaloids and even so, I found the remixes to be mostly average or even a bit cringeworthy. They were the weakest part for me, but that only applies to the songs themselves. The actual visuals that accompanied the almost once-an-episode sequences? They were not bad. Sometimes they were even funny or resulted in hilarious things (Schubert’s fish adventure comes to mind), but most of the time they were a pretty mindless distraction. 

One of the real strengths is the characters. I seriously either love the characters* or I like them. They bring life to the show with their varied personalities. It’s kind of amazing because many of them skirt the line between being one-note quirky archetypes and actually being kind of deep. My favorites include (in no particular order):

- Kanae, who is mostly the straight man character, but plays beautifully off the rest of the cast because she has to put up with so much shit, but has her own silly and selfish sides. (Also, she’s one terrible idol.)

- Schubert, definitely my favorite classicaloid of the bunch. I was kind of surprised because he was introduced a little later than the rest, but Schu is so genuine... so weird, yet so underappreciated in-universe that I think is the opposite irl. His unpopularity is what makes him popular in the first place because aside from being a catty bitch to Mozart (who deserves it, btw), he tries really hard to be a good person.

- Liszt, who is amazing, I love that she’s badass and reliable (the only one who pays rent) but also a sucker for love. And she’s basically a trans women, isn’t she? She’s not the only originally-male-irl classicaloid to be given a female body, but she’s the only one who completely embraces it. 

- Chopin, who in my opinion is a little underused, although that’s partially justified because he’s always hiding. He’s definitely the most relateable, being a shut-in who just on the computer all day playing games or watching stuff (sounds familiar), but he’s also blunt af and has such witty lines. 

- Beethoven, I initially had mixed feelings on him, but came to love him over time. See, he may be voiced by my favorite voice actor (Tomokazu Sugita), but at first all his jokes revolved around GYOZA!!! and being a gigantic fucking ham. It got old kind of fast, but thankfully he gets more jokes and depth over time. I especially love his dynamic with Kanae and Schubert.

*The sole exception is Mozart. Here is where I rant about Mozart because thaT FUCKING PUNK BITCH IS THE WORST, AND IT SUCKS THAT HE’S A MAIN CHARACTER WHO GETS SO MUCH SCREEN TIME AND EPISODES DEDICATED TO HIM. ... Okay, I’m gonna calm down. I’ll stop shouting now and explain why I hate this pos. Here we go: He. Is. Not. Funny. Or. Likable. In fact, the only one who is not funny or likable. He’s always annoying, unhelpful, sexually harassing Kanae, and genuinely a terrible person except when it benefits him. Actually, the problem is not even that he’s terrible, but rather that he’s terrible and gets away with it. 

Compare him to someone like Sousuke, who’s a little similar in some ways, except... hey, get this, there are consequences (funny consequences) when he’s being a douche. Sousuke, along with Schubert, are the butt monkeys of the ensemble. Sousuke is even referred to as “tool” by Liszt and mostly everyone else. If Mozart was also a butt monkey, he would be a lot more tolerable, except he’s not. Mozart behaves like an annoying dick 98% of the time and the anime has the fucking audacity to try and make him sympathetic. 

I also have to bring up his voice actor, Yuki Kaji, who is easily my least favorite voice actor, so maybe I do have some inherent bias against him. See, if Mozart were played by someone who’s not annoying as shit, then maybe he would’ve been more likable, but Yuki Kaji has the range of a triangle (he’s one-note). Compare him to Beethoven, who could easily be so fucking obnoxious, except he’s played by the exceptionally talented and charismatic Tomokazu Sugita. /sighs. Well, I think I’m done ranting now.

Finally, I want to cover the jokes. It’s true, at first they appear to be of the very “lol random xD” type humor, but I think they are deceptively well constructed. There were many episodes where I was laughing out loud and some episodes where I spent the entire time laughing my ass off (again, I bring up the Schubert fish incident). With a few exceptions, I don’t think the humor or gags ever got old because the anime keeps doing more and more with the characters, throwing them into crazy situations. The absurdity of it all is hilarious and the likableness of most of the characters supports it. 

I’m probably one of 10 people in the west who is very excited and happy that there’s a season 2. Only two more seasons left until it’s back :D.

Nanbaka [6/10] / Season 2 [4/10]

I’m put in kind of an awkward position by this show... At first, it was going to be published with the Fall 2016 Roundup until I realized that there was going to be a second season. So then I delayed it for Winter 2017 except the quality of the show has gone down significantly between the first and second season. I wrote most of my thoughts for the first season already, so I’m just gonna talk about season one first by itself and then compare it to season two. Here are my thoughts on S1:

At first glance, yes, the character designs are incredibly silly… an anime podcast I listen to described them as “deviantart ocs”, (which is not too inaccurate), and everything sparkles like a shoujo manga for some mysterious reason. But aside from the strange design choices, the humor was pretty solid and characters are pretty likable. Not just the main 4 characters, but Hajime (my favorite) and the other prison wardens, and their fellow prisoners all have a charm to them.

The first half of the show is pretty damn funny, definitely a solid 7/10, but then the New Years competition arc starts and the pacing screeches to a halt. There are four whole episodes dedicated to this arc and they actually introduce a plot, drama, and some intense action near the end. It comes out of nowhere. The problems don’t stop there, unfortunately. I can forgive the terrible pacing somewhat if they kept up the laughs, but that’s not what happened. Instead, the genre switches and suddenly becomes a drama with a whole conspiracy plot about some of the main characters. Insofar, the only comedy anime I’ve seen pull off dramatic arcs is Gintama (but as I’ve said even that gets tiring after a while). Nanbaka is simply not as well-written as Gintama in either way, and the actual “plot” was a total let down compared to the humor which I genuinely liked.

This plot continues for another few episodes and it takes a little while to get back to the laughs. Humor and characters are the only thing this anime kind of nails. When the author attempts drama, it turns into another generic shounen anime. What a shame. If this anime stuck to being a pure comedy, I definitely would’ve rated it higher.

Ohhhhh boy, now onto season two. My worst fears for the anime basically happened. Imagine the New Years Competition arc I just complained about. Now, slow down the pacing another 500%, take out all the humor from the first season, and chuck in some boring ass cliche shounen crap. That is what S2 is in its entirety. It’s like they sucked out all the fun and hilarity of the first season just to “advance” the plot. I put advance in quotes because the pacing is seriously glacial. It rotates between plot exposition/backstory and “action” comparable to a Naruto filler arc for the entire run time. 

For example, my favorite character Hajime gets locked in a jail cell early on. Then some of the jail mates (including Jyugo, the main character) decide to break him out a little while later in the show. Guess when they reach Hajime? If you guessed the very last episode, you’d be correct! Inbetween is just pointless, boring fight after pointless, boring fight and fucking endless exposition! Either the character talks for minutes on end about their powers or the strategy of their enemies or about some thing in the past or there’s a flashback/backstory explaining the characters (by the way, a whole bunch of new characters are introduced except without the humor, they’re all shit) or the plot, it’s just UGH. 

Halfway through, I came to dread Nanbaka. Most of the time, I would put on the show and zone out as much as possible, although in reality, I spent a lot of time bitterly remembering how funny the first season is and how it actually had characters I liked in them doing funny shit and being likable. If the first season was a lot of fun but was bogged down by the action/drama, then the second season is the bog. Watching it is liking wading through a swamp about waist high. It won’t kill you and it’s doable, but it’s unpleasant, tedious, and you rather wished you just walked around it. 

If you really want to enjoy the show, just watch season one. Even then I only recommend the first half and the last couple of episodes. AVOID SEASON TWO AT ALL COSTS. I am certain there’s going to be a season three later this year or next year, but hopefully I’ll resist the temptation to watch it just because I watched the first two seasons.

God, it makes so angry how this show could’ve been a fairly pleasant humorous affair but ruins it completely and chucks it in the fucking garbage disposal. Way to waste your potential, Nanbaka.

Onihei [6/10]

Onihei is... unremarkable, but not a hard watch either. It’s just... alright? Very very middle of the road, but I can kind of appreciate that because it didn’t require much effort on me to watch, and I could just enjoy it without thinking too much about it. It helps that I’m already into samurai, but I admit I was hoping for more initially. Once I accepted that it was just going to be a simple collection of samurai/pre-modern japanese stories, then I began to enjoy it more. 

My biggest complaint is that there were too many episodes not focused on Heizo (aka Onihei, the main character). Heizo really was the best part of the show, and I liked it most when they focused on him and his backstory, but about a quarter of the show is about other characters that I just didn’t really care for aside from two or three of them. It’s fine that this show is mostly episodic, but because it frequently shifts focus, it is quite inconsistent because some episodes are better than others.

There’s also the fact the show looks very cheaply made, especially in those creepy ass CGI people in background shots. It has almost a B-movie feel, but not as much of the B-movie charm as I’d like. Still, it’s not really bad at all. It’s a good thing I like historical anime and that the main character is great because that is what pushes it up from a 5 to a solid 6. 

Trickster [5/10]

First, let me just say that Trickster baited me - and baited me successfully with the promise of attractive boys and homoerotic subtext. At least it delivered and pretty much met my expectations 100%, but unfortunately, it did not surprise me by being better than I thought it would be. It’s kind of a pity because Trickster actually has pretty good production values, but it falters in more important places: the characters and plot. Both of those elements are pretty clumsily handled. If not that, then they feel cliche, like I’ve already seen [x type] character and [y] trope countless times.

The characters in particular I feel like could’ve made up for the plot, but the anime chooses to focus on the least interesting ones (yes, I know this is a book adaptation). The main character, Kobayashi, is unlikable from the start and even when you unlock his tragic backstory late in the anime, it feels too little too late and it’s another overused trope. Hanasaki, the character who probably gets the most screen time is... actually alright. He’s annoying at first too, but his character development is not handled that badly either. The best characters are probably Inoue and Akechi; the former barely gets any attention at all, and the latter’s subplot is so fragmented by the rest of the characters and their own plots that it gets lost.

In fact, what I just said may just sum up the biggest problem I have with this anime. The whole thing feels fractured, like the writer wanted to give all the main characters (except poor Inoue) their dues, but didn’t know how to tie their separate plots together elegantly or didn’t know how to give all of them development/depth in one flowing plot. With tighter focus, I’m sure it would’ve turned out better, but the cliches and their rather bland execution still drag it all down.

The production values do deserve some praise though. The voice acting is great as always and the animation is overall good, but the music and direction had some standout moments that really elevated certain parts of the show. Unfortunately, the overall mediocreness of Trickster put it at a 5/10.

[aion-rsa]

INTERVIEW: McDuffie Award Winner Talks His Experimental Sci-Fi Comic

Since 2015, the The Dwayne McDuffie Award for Diversity has been awarded each year at Long Beach Comic Expo, celebrating the work of new comics which not only tell an interesting story with a diverse cast that represents voices who aren’t heard often enough in the industry — but which are changing the way people view comics as a whole.

Winning the award has become a signifier of work which is notable, fresh and contemporary, experimenting with comics as a form and bringing something new and thoroughly entertaining to comics fans. This year’s winner, Ezra Claytan Daniels’ “Upgrade Soul,” is certainly an example of that.

Originally released as a digital app in collaboration with Erik Loyer, the comic transitions the pages in a fashion unique for the digital format, and features a soundtrack from musician Alexis Gideon which flows through the pages as the reader moves through the story. It’s not just an incredibly well-told and smart piece of comics narrative, it’s one which explores what a comics narrative can be. Following Daniels’ win at this year’s ceremony, CBR spoke to the cartoonist about the project, how it came together and what it was like to win this year’s coveted trophy.

CBR: What’s your background as a writer and artist? How did you first get into making comics?

Ezra Claytan Daniels: I’ve been drawing comics since I was a little kid. I had a really terrible yet deadly serious comic strip about a troupe of circus performers fighting a manipulative alien in my high school paper. But my professional background is in graphic design and commercial illustration, with detours into forensic illustration and user interface design (I designed the UI for the mobile app, iAnnotate PDF). I started making autobio zines a few years after high school, largely as an excruciatingly juvenile attempt to meet women. Seriously, those old comics are the worst thing ever.

You’ve published several comics over the last decade or so, including “The Changers” and “A Circuit Closed”, but when did you first start work on “Upgrade Soul”? What made you want to tell this story?

I first started thinking about the ideas behind “Upgrade Soul” in my early 20s, before I did “The Changers.” I wanted to write a horror story, so I thought, “What’s the scariest thing I can imagine?” At the time, it was obsolescence. Being faced with someone who’s better at being me than I am. I was actually more into “Upgrade Soul” as a concept, but I knew I wasn’t a good enough writer yet to do something that ambitious. So I did “The Changers” first, sort of as a practice graphic novel. “The Changers” was ambitious, too, but it’s really low-key and straight-forward. It’s essentially an escape fantasy about myself and my roommate being super-beings from the future. I learned so much about making comics by self publishing that book, though, from publicity to working with distributors, to touring. I had a blast. After the dust settled, I sat down to really try to figure out Upgrade Soul. That was about 12 or 13 years ago. I’d been working on it off and on until I finally finished this past December.

Who are Hank and Molly, the two leads of the series? What kind of people are they, and where do we find them as the comic begins?

The two main characters, Hank and Molly, are based on my grandparents, Leon and Barb. They were like second parents to me growing up, and we were super close. I wanted the main characters to be people you don’t see in comics very often. I wanted to try to put myself in the shoes of people I knew very well, but who were very different from me. I wanted to make a book that didn’t feel familiar. Something I personally would’ve been really excited to see on a comic shelf as a reader. The story introduces Hank and Molly as wealthy investors in an experimental cellular rejuvenation procedure. Their only stipulation for support of the project is that they be the first to undergo the procedure.

The drama begins when a the procedure fails and Hank and Molly are faced with clones of themselves who are severely disfigured, but intellectually and physically far superior. The story is thematically about which counterpart better represents the identity of the individual; the one that looks and sounds like the person, or the one that’s, by every non-aesthetic metric, a perfect idealization of that person.

Your art style seems to primarily draw from both European and Japanese influences — is it fair to say those were the comics you grew up reading and loving?

I liked comics fine as a kid and teen, but I was way more into animation. And you called it, the films I loved the most were definitely Japanese and European. “Fantastic Planet,” “Akira,” “Lensman,” “Venus Wars,” “Fire & Ice” — these were on constant rotation.

I think there’s a very animation-y feel to my art — it’s very flat and clean, like animation cells. But after I dropped out of art school, I fell into trial graphics, doing medical and technical illustrations and infographics for court cases. That industry is all about clarity of information, with no room for embellishments. I definitely read “How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way” when I first started getting serious about comics, but I vehemently disagreed with a lot of it, particularly the part about using dynamic angles to heighten drama. I hated in comics when you couldn’t keep track of where characters were standing in a room because every panel was drawn from a different angle on the floor or ceiling. I think this aversion came from my time doing crime scene diagrams.

I never want my reader to be distracted from the narrative because I drew something weirdly. I sometimes describe my style as looking like an aircraft safety card.

You’ve released the story as an app in collaboration with Erik Loyer. Was it difficult to make that leap to digital, after first planning and developing “Upgrade Soul” in a more traditional format?

I’d been working on “Upgrade Soul” for a few years, pitching it around every once in a while but not really getting any traction. I’d done some work with Erik on smaller interactive comics projects, like his Reuben and Lullaby app, and an interactive essay he designed for academic Caren Kaplan, called “Precision Targets.” He started to develop an interactive comics platform for iOS and asked if I wanted to do something for it. I was deep into “Upgrade Soul” by then, and it hadn’t found a home, so I said “sure”!

I hadn’t done enough work on it by that point for it to be a huge hassle to imagine it for the digital platform, but it definitely still has roots in the print format. It was a seamless transition to the print version I’m shopping now. I’m definitely historically interested in technology and gaming, but I hadn’t given any real thought to digital comics before Erik approached me. Although, now that I think about it, I did put out the last issue of my crappy auto-bio comic a few years prior as a CD-ROM, so maybe I’m not giving myself enough credit! The “Upgrade Soul” app is on hiatus, though. It’s only the first half of the story.

Hopefully, after I find a publisher, we can work out a way to come back to it because I’m totally in love with it. It’s just not on the road map right now.

At what point did the audio aspect of “Upgrade Soul” first come into place? How did musician Alexis Gideon come on board the project, and what did that decision bring to the story overall?

Once Erik and I decided to work together, we just started having all these really heady conversations about the definition of comics and what to do and what not to do with the technology at our disposal. Our conversations eventually evolved into a manifesto that became the centerpiece of a digital comics portal I designed with Amsterdam-based Submarine Channel, ScreenDiver.com. A huge part of our digital comics philosophy was to never take temporal control from the reader. This meant that literal sound effects, which would have the effect of representing a passage of time, were out. But music, designed to create and maintain an atmosphere, was fair game.

In “Upgrade Soul,” the music follows your progress through the story, so every panel triggers a specific musical cue. You play the music almost the same way you read the comic, at your own pace. I’d done some design and animation work with Alexis, and we worked really well together. I’m just such a huge fan of his music; his singular brand of classically-trained experimental weirdo hip-hop was the perfect fit for “Upgrade Soul.”

When did you find out you’d been nominated for the Dwayne McDuffie Award?

I follow the Dwayne McDuffie Foundation on social media, and they posted a call for submissions a few weeks before I finished “Upgrade Soul.” The timing was perfect. I didn’t think I had any chance in hell of winning, but it’s just really helpful to have hard goals like that to finish something, especially since I was really losing steam toward the end. I guess it was a month or so later that I got an email from them letting me know I was among 5 finalists. I was incredibly honored, but even then, I didn’t think I had any chance of winning. I’ve never won anything in my life. And I was up against Dave Walker, who’d been having like the best year ever.

I didn’t find out I’d won until everybody else did, at the ceremony at Long Beach Comics Expo. It was so funny and awesome and weird. I happened to be the only nominee who was able to attend, since I live in LA, so they asked me to give a little talk before the winner was announced about what Dwayne McDuffie meant to me. I was so worried about how awkward it was going to be when I didn’t win! But little did I know that all the judges and Dwayne McDuffie folks already knew.

The ceremony was MC’d by Phil Lamarr, and it was such a surreal honor to get to hang out with the voice of Static Shock. Everybody involved in the foundation, and the judges, were so amazing and sweet and supportive. Charlotte, Dwayne’s widow, was just incredibly inspiring. It was most definitely the highlight of my career thus far.

Was Dwayne McDuffie a creator you were aware of, prior to your nomination?

My brother and I were constantly looking for heroes that looked like our dad, who was Black. We latched onto every Black character in the action movies we loved. The white neighborhood kids would fight to be Arnold when we played “Predator,” but we’d always be Bill Duke and Carl Weathers. We collected every black “G.I. Joe” and “Star Trek: The Next Generation” figure. But those characters were always sidekicks or bit players. So when the “Static Shock” cartoon came out, we were just transfixed. It was pure magic. I didn’t learn until years later how important Dwayne McDuffie was to so many other kids of color, and how monumental his legacy was.

It’s an award specifically noting works which offer representation within the pages — was that something you had at heart when you were making the comic, that idea of representing people whose stories don’t usually get told, and digging into their personalities and culture?

Absolutely. As a mixed race person (my mom is white), it’s an inextricable part of my being. “Upgrade Soul” gets into the ways in which our experience of life, or how we are treated by the world, forms our identity. It looks at the ways racial discrimination is both similar and distinct from age, sex and ability discrimination. These are the kinds of ideas that interest and challenge me as both a writer and a reader.

What’s next for you, following the conclusion of “Upgrade Soul” and as it now looks for a publisher? Do you have any other projects coming up?

Fingers crossed “Upgrade Soul” finds a good home, but it’ll come out this year one way or another. I also recently finished a short film collaboration with Adebukola Bodunrin that just started it’s festival life. It just screened at the International Film Festival Rotterdam and the Whitney in New York, and is screening at the Boston Underground Film Fest in March. It’s an experimental sci-fi animation that reimagines the Yoruba creation myth in a space station built around a simulation of the Big Bang. It’s called The Golden Chain.

I also have a new graphic novel on the home stretch with the incredible Ben Passmore, tentatively called “BTTMFDRS.” I’m writing it and he’s drawing it. It’s a horror comedy about gentrification and cultural appropriation and I’m so excited for people to see it! We should wrap that up by this summer so look for that this year, too!

To find out more about “Upgrade Soul” and Ezra Claytan Daniels’ work, check out his website and his Ttwitter account here.

The post INTERVIEW: McDuffie Award Winner Talks His Experimental Sci-Fi Comic appeared first on CBR.

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