#did i read all the books i wanted to read this year? no
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classyrbf · 2 days ago
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prisoner!geto who gets sent to the infirmary after getting into a fist fight with another prisoner. His knuckles and lip are bruised and busted and he’s doing the walk of shame down the jail hall. But he doesn’t expect a pretty young woman to be running the infirmary, nearly drooling at the sight because it’s been almost 3 whole years since he last laid his eyes upon one. He’s eyeing you up and down look a piece of meat while you tend to his wounds, completely ignoring his advances because it’s unprofessional. Though, you do find him quite handsome with tattoos all over his arms, a muscular build and his long silky black hair, his smile adding the cherry on top.
“You new here? I’ve never seen you around before.” He watches you put some gloves on, grabbing a roll of small bandages. “Pretty brave of you to be working in all male prison, don’t you think?”
“You must end up in here quite a lot if you know everyone who works here,” you sigh, grabbing his hand and wiping down the dried blood from his knuckles. “I transferred from another prison. It’s nothing I’m not used to.”
He smirks, narrowing his eyes at you. “Oh, yeah? Must be used to all the flirting then.”
“Wow! How could you tell?” You say sarcastically and toss the dirty wipe into the trash beside you. You wrap his hand up with the bandage and toss your gloves into the trash. “You’re all set.”
“Did I mention my head is killing me?” He winced.
“If you’re trying to get pain killers prescribed to you, it’s a whole different process. So I suggest you stop lying and wasting both of our time.” You place your hands on your hips, staring at him.
“Fine.” He stands to his feet, tall stature shadowing over you. You step back a little the more he steps closer to you. “I’ll cut to the chase. I haven’t properly fucked someone in nearly three years, and I’m dying…dying to get a feel of your sweet, sweet pussy.” He backs you into a corner, neck craning down as he whispers in your ear. “Think you can help me with that, doctor?”
You blink at him, your throat feels dry and your heart is pounding against your ribcage. “That is very, very unprofessional.” No matter what words come out your mouth, your body is feeling the complete opposite. “I’ll call the guards right now—”
“C’mon, pretty please?” The corner of his lips tweak slightly. “I know you want to. I seen it on your pretty face since the moment I walked in.” He raises his bandaged hand and runs his thumb over your plump bottom lip.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” you sternly say. Oh, but he does. He’s reading you like a book right now and that smug look on his face knows it all.
“Okay,” he chuckles, stepping away from you. “Just know I’ll see you around.” He turns to walk out the infirmary and let the guard know he’s all set, but he suddenly turns back around. His eyes look at the name tag pinned to your shirt. “Such a beautiful name.” He teases. “Bye, doctor.”
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ak319 · 2 days ago
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Yan Regent Consort x fem reader
Headcanon
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(Warnings: This story contains matriarchal themes, fem dom such as mpreg, fem dominated world, role reversal, and BXG pairing! Yes, it's a boy x girl, so don't interact if you are not comfortable!!)
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Xu Junlai was a boy who held different roles in the eyes of others, son to some, friend to some, an object of admiration or envy to others. He was born into a family of five sons and two daughters. His mother, Xu Huang, served as a minister in the court, while his father, Xu... well, he wasn’t married into the Xu family, he was merely a concubine of Junlai’s mother. Because of this, Junlai never received familial love, not from his step-siblings and not even from his mother, who was always either too busy or uninterested in family matters. Her absence from his life gave his brothers free rein to treat him as they pleased.
His oldest sibling was his sister, Xu Tai, whom everyone feared. She didn’t particularly dote on him, but she maintained order in the household whenever she returned from her training and service in the army. Xu Tai had high ambitions for the country, aspiring one day to become a commander or much better a General. His other sister, Xu Ai, was studying to be a scholar; she was a year older than Junlai, who himself was the second youngest in the family.
Junlai had long learned that if he didn’t stand up for himself and speak for himself, he would live a life of misery and eventually die alone, perhaps with no one to mourn his passing. So, he did speak for himself when necessary. A hard life had forced him into this role. It wasn’t as if anyone liked him before, or that he had earned any respect, so what was there to lose?
He had passions that he quietly pursued, calligraphy, reading books, sneakily borrowing them from Tai’s library at the estate and, most importantly, dancing. Yet he was made fun of, and ridiculed for his interests.
“Your father was a prostitute, and you doing this seems to scream that you are on the same path. You disgrace,” his stepfather, Xu Fen, sneered. But his words never truly hurt Junlai.
“But your sons are learning such skills too. Are they on the same path?”
“THEY ARE NOT! They are doing that so that when the time arises, they will be presented to the court for the new Empress and her harem. That is where their skills will shine; being a Xu, that is inevitable. You, however…”
“Mother may not have married my father, but she openly acknowledged that I have been granted the name Xu.”
“So? What are you--oh--so you want to enter the court? That might be the funniest thing I’ve heard this week. Part of the reason your presence here is sometimes bearable. Have you seen yourself? There is nothing graceful about you, such venomous features, that blank face, eyes like a devil’s. You are someone any woman would avoid, not bed.” Fen’s cackles echoed in the distance as Junlai stood in the garden, his usual blank expression firmly in place.
The court? But he didn’t desire any of that. That was a life of hell. As if my life is better now... Harem or no harem, at least he could demonstrate his skills and take a jab at his useless brothers. Perhaps that was the most thrilling part of it all. There was absolutely no chance that an Empress or even the Emperor Dowager would allow the son of a prostitute to enter the harem.
So, Junlai practised night after night, in the empty hall that felt both sacred and suffocating. The flickering candles cast shadows that danced like ghosts on the walls, whispering secrets of long-forgotten elegance. The sound of anklets chimed like distant bells, while the rustle of silken fabric filled the air, wrapping around him like a lover’s embrace. In the dim light, his body became a fluid extension of art, each movement imbued with a haunting beauty that could draw anyone into his graceful orbit. And perhaps, just perhaps, the voice that emerged from his lips was powerful enough to ensnare even the coldest of hearts.
But one fateful night, when he miraculously received permission from his mother to join the ceremony, everything changed. Three of his brothers discovered him lost in his usual routine, an ethereal vision in the half-light. As always, he expected their laughter, their scorn, but no... that night, the hall, once a sanctuary, transformed into a chamber of horrors.
Instead of melodies, the air was filled with his screams as they pinned him down, the laughter of his brothers echoing like a dark symphony. They poured scalding water over his feet, the pain searing through him, brutal and unrelenting--just a week before the ceremony.
═════ ◈ ═════
The day of the ceremony arrived, and you, the new Empress, had only been on the throne for a year after successfully defeating your sisters for the throne. However you were overwhelmed by the throng of men entering your court, you sat in silence, your mind already planning the next day's work while subtly noting the movements and behaviours of your court members.
The musical festivities began, likely your father's favorite part, as it allowed him to exert his influence over the affairs of the men. You had little energy to deal with such trivialities, and the classification of men in this way unsettled you. Your mother was deeply involved in it all, and you loathed the thought of it.
"Those are the sons of the Xu family, good-looking, aren't they?" your father remarked, his voice dripping with expectation. Your head snapped to his direction, and for a fleeting moment, you glanced at the display before you.
“Um, yes,” you replied, your tone devoid of enthusiasm.
Your father internally rolled his eyes at your lacklustre response. You might have bedded a few men and have a son with one of the concubines, but it was clear you weren’t taking any of them seriously. 'This idiot daughter of mine, clearly not worried about not having an heir still. By now your mother would have had three-'
"They came for you, so at least enjoy it a bit. If you prefer any changes, the music, the dance-"
"It's fine, Father. It's fine."
You granted your approval to Xu Huang in the end, an honest minister in your eyes, someone even your mother trusted. Her daughter, Tai, was a formidable warrior, perhaps the first to impress you with her skills.
As dinner commenced, no one anticipated the doors to swing open once more. A lone figure stepped into the hall, drawing everyone's attention, including yours. He was slender, his long hair tousled—surprisingly beautiful even in such disarray. Those eyes of his, empty yet hauntingly deep, bore into yours with an intensity that both intrigued and unsettled you.
His walk was seductive yet exuded an aura of defeat and determination. Silence enveloped the hall, a palpable tension as he stood in the centre, commanding attention. That’s when you noticed his feet, bare and crimson. You were certain that if you looked closer, you would see the dark stains of blood marring his skin.
It felt as though the entire court was holding its breath, waiting for you to question him. Just then, you caught the whisper of Xu Huang, “Son…” from her seat a few feet away.
Her son?
"Are you... Xu’s son?" you inquired, your curiosity piqued.
He nodded.
“Um--your Majesty, he was sick, so he couldn't perform earlier, although his name was registered on the list by me…” Xu Huang explained, her voice steady yet tinged with concern. You responded with a curt nod, your mind racing.
“If you are sick, then you shouldn’t be here,” you asserted, a protective instinct rising within you. You were certain the sickness plagued his feet. There was no way you would allow him to dance under such conditions.
“I want to dance,” he replied, his voice challenging and unwavering.
The spark in his tone caught you off guard. What an odd boy...
“Very well. Then do. I would like to see you dance,” you commanded, a blend of intrigue fluttering in your chest
“Your Majes-” Xu Huang began, but your glare silenced her immediately.
“Begin.”
As the sounds of the pipa and hulusi filled the hall, an almost electric hush fell over the audience. Everyone shifted their attention from their meals to the boy dancing, his presence so captivating that even your father, Wang Hua, sat bewildered. A simmering anger brewed within him as he grappled with his own intrigue. Are you seriously interested in him?
Though Hua possessed some knowledge about the boy, witnessing the fluidity and artistry of his dance made those thoughts melt away. Junlai moved as if in a trance, each motion a hauntingly beautiful expression that stirred something deep within you. The performance was mesmerizing, drawing you into a world that felt both ethereal and painfully real.
The only glimmer of envy and fury came from Junlai’s own brother and step-father, their faces twisted in disdain as they seethed at the spectacle before them. Even the blood that dripped from Junlai’s feet onto the glass-like floor seemed to only heighten their ire. They couldn’t maintain your gaze for even a moment, while Junlai seemed to command the room effortlessly, as if reigning over it with merely a flick of his wrist.
As the final echoes of Junlai’s performance faded, your ears, now deprived of the boy’s beautiful voice, were met once again with a profound silence that enveloped the hall.
Junlai stood with his gaze cast down, a picture of humility, while you rose from the podium, taking slow, deliberate steps toward him. A ripple of anticipation swept through the crowd, their eyes wide with curiosity about what would unfold next. To your surprise, the boy barely flinched as you stood before him, towering over his slight frame.
“Name?” you inquired, your voice steady.
“Junlai,” he replied, his voice barely above a whisper.
“And who did this to you...?” You leaned closer, searching his eyes for the truth.
His neutral gaze met yours, and you sensed a flicker of vulnerability beneath his composed exterior.
“People... whom I would rather not talk about on such a glorious day... a day for you, my Majesty.” He lowered himself in a respectful bow, his head tilting downward, yet his posture remained defiantly graceful.
“Is that so...?” you mused, glancing at Naun, your attendant, who stood discreetly behind a pillar to your left. She nodded subtly, understanding the unspoken command in your gaze.
This boy not only is now part of your harem but...your choice for the night.
You were resolute, you would not entertain the other sons of the Xu family. What need had you for them? Junlai’s dance eclipsed all of theirs combined, a testament to his raw talent and spirit. You were not greedy, you simply sought the best. And he was not only the best but also intriguingly peculiar, a captivating boy you were eager to indulge in and explore further.
As you crawled on top of him, Junlai had been cleaned and prepared for your gaze, yet a small part of you missed his disheveled appearance, the wild, untamed beauty that spoke of his struggles. You soothed yourself with the reminder that he would soon return to that captivating state.
“When I asked you about the culprits, you didn’t name them. You don’t want me to punish them?” you murmured, your fingers brushing gently against his cheek, relishing the softness of his skin as he leaned into your rough hand.
“But you already have... by choosing me,” he replied, a hint of defiance in his voice. You couldn’t help but chuckle, the sound deep and rich. “You are... something, you know. I have never encountered a boy like you... but I always wanted to.”
“I never wanted this... to be in the bed of an empress, in her harem, but here I am…” His words hung in the air, laced with a surprising confidence. Something about you made him bold enough to voice such thoughts. You didn’t seem as cold and cruel as the whispers suggested, those comparisons to your mother fading in the warmth of his gaze.
Your deep chuckle reverberated against his neck, sending shivers coursing through his body. “Oh, how lucky I am then. More fortunate than any empress, for having caught you.” You pulled away slightly to meet his eyes, searching for the flicker of fear, but finding only intrigue. “Being in a harem means being mine, and I take care of what I own.”
“Do you fear me, Junlai?” you asked, your voice a sultry whisper that sent shivers down his spine. “You should...."
His heart raced at the challenge in your tone. “I don’t fear you, your Majesty. I only fear what I might become under your rule,” he replied, daring to meet your intense gaze.
“Ah, but isn’t that the thrill of it all?” You leaned in closer, your lips brushing tantalizingly against his ear as you spoke. A gasp left his plump lips as you nibbled on it.
Junlai’s breath quickened as your gaze pierced into him, as if you were seeing not just the boy he was but the depths of his soul. The air thickened with an intoxicating blend of fear and desire. He could feel the heat radiating from your body, enveloping him in a cocoon of both safety and peril.
Your fingers danced down his arm, tracing delicate patterns that ignited his skin, setting his nerves alight. Junlai's breath hitched as he felt the heat of your body press against him, a heady mix of power and vulnerability.
“Do you see how beautifully broken you are?” you continued, your voice low and mesmerizing.
Junlai felt the walls around his heart tremble, caught in the magnetic pull of your words. “What do you want from me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, the challenge now tinged with uncertainty.
“Everything.” Your lips curled into a wicked smile, a promise of the chaos to come. “I want your loyalty, your obedience, and most importantly, your heart. I will not only keep you in my harem, I will make you my most cherished treasure.”
As you leaned closer again, your lips tantalizingly brushing against his, he could feel the weight of your intentions, his robe being done deftly by your rough fingers. “Now, are you ready to dance for me?” you asked, your eyes glinting with mischief and hunger."
Junlai nodded, a flicker of excitement igniting within him. At that moment, he was no longer just a boy marked by pain, he was a dancer, ready to twirl and leap into the unknown, to be claimed by you.
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Junlai sat in the veranda, gazing out at the distant mountains with a forlorn expression, his slender fingers tapping absently on the polished wooden rail. Though the quarters designated for the favored concubine were lavish, adorned with silks and priceless porcelain, the space felt hollow without you. If only he could give you a daughter, the coveted title of consort would be his. The thought flitted through his mind like an unreachable dream. And yet, as the days stretched into months, it was your absence that gnawed at him, leaving him restless and aching.
God, when would you return from the campaign? Two months had passed, each day heavier than the last. He endured the whispers, and the scorn from the other concubines who mocked him for his damaged feet, but he bore it all without flinching. He knew you valued him for his skill, his grace, the things that went beyond mere perfection. You had appointed the empire's finest healers to tend to him, a silent reassurance that he still held a place in your heart.
Even the Emperor Dowager, shrewd and discerning, seemed to favour him, perhaps because he respected his daughter's choices or was mesmerized by his art. Either way, his endorsement granted him a measure of safety within the harem’s hostile world. And yet, safety was far from his mind. He spent sleepless nights worrying about you, imagining the dangers you might face, each possible harm a dagger in his chest. His own safety meant nothing if you were not there, by his side, safe and triumphant. He danced in the empty hall , every night, all night even. His gaze at the marble wall at the end, imagining you sitting in your throne watching his performance. Every word, every step a testimony for your longing. If anyone else saw him at night , they would be scared for their life.
A boy dancing as if he was possessed.
What had he become? Another lovesick boy, a fool just like his father, infatuated, aching, lost to his devotion. He had once vowed never to become so vulnerable, and yet here he was, the intensity of his love binding him more than duty or obligation ever could. He used to revel in this power, at first motivated by pride, even defiance, to show his brothers that he had won something they could never touch. But now, with every beat of his heart, every drop of his blood, he was wholly, helplessly, irrevocably yours.
Although not long ago, one significant shift rippled through the palace, Xu Tai, the skilled warrior whose loyalty you trusted, was now appointed as General. Junlai took comfort in this news. His sister's allegiance was unwavering, and her impressive abilities spoke for themselves. You chose her for her skill and integrity, qualities Junlai respected, and even admired from afar. He knew that with Tai at the helm, your interests, and your life, were in capable hands.
He hadn’t anticipated finding peace in such a development, yet knowing Tai held this position gave him a strange sense of relief. However when he just received a letter from Tai herself, that sense of relief seemed to diminish.
You had been poisoned by an arrow at the battlefield. Thankfully the physician present did their best to take it out but it was unknown if you would come back alive. The news was also sent to the Emperor and eventually spread over the harem and then the country.
The news struck the palace like a tempest. Word spread first as whispers in dimly lit corridors, then as gasps behind silken fans, until eventually, the rumours became cries of despair from every corner of the empire. The Empress has been poisoned, they said, her life teetering on the edge. The harem held its breath, the concubines offering quiet prayers. Yet amidst them all, Junlai felt as though his entire world had shattered.
Days passed in agonizing limbo, and Junlai clung to any scrap of information he could gather. The air in his chambers grew thick with dread, the whispers of the other concubines like needles against his skin. Would she return? Could she survive this? He tried to still his racing heart, to banish the wretched possibilities that plagued him day and night, but his mind clung stubbornly to images of your pale face, the way you looked as he’d last seen you, strong, assured, untouchable.
But now, you were mortal. Wounded. Vulnerable.
He’d never felt so powerless. Each night he would sit in the garden, his injured feet barely feeling the cold stone beneath them as he gazed at the stars, praying fervently for your safety. Let her come back to me, he whispered into the darkness. Take my health, my strength, take anything you want, but let her live.
The news of the looming threat reached the palace in the dead of night, casting a shadow over an already grief-stricken palace. The Chief Minister summoned her closest advisors including Xu Huang, the walls of the council chamber echoing with grave voices as they strategized. The Wei Dynasty had betrayed them, their forces striking not only on the battlefield but now threatening the heart of the empire, taking advantage of your absence. This insidious plot was spearheaded by the rebel leader Guo Wang, a lecherous woman of ruthless ambition and bloodthirsty intent. Her name alone sent ripples of fear through the court, her reputation for savagery preceding her.
The capital was left vulnerable in a way it hadn’t been for years. With Tai, your most loyal and capable General, at your side on the battlefield, and your position as Empress left temporarily vacant, the capital was guarded only by lesser warriors and the remaining commanders, a force barely sufficient for an ambush of this scale.
Junlai’s despair deepened. He had kept his composure in the wake of your injury, holding fast to the hope that you would return to him. But now the looming threat to the capital turned that sorrow into fear and fury. He knew what would come if Guo Wang breached the palace walls, the carnage that woman would wreak upon all in her path. The court, the innocents of the capital, and, he shuddered, the vulnerable harem.
He understood now what his sister had never fully articulated, the key to victory was not in repeating the old ways, but in disrupting the enemy's expectations. And Guo Wang’s forces? They would be expecting the standard defences. They would expect the palace to hide behind walls, women in armour standing guard at every gate. That was their mistake. Junlai knew better. But being a man and more so a mere consort was something that Junlai couldn't change. Nobody would listen to him. Two weeks left before the Guo reaches them even if Tai had sent for backup to the capital, it would have taken them a bit longer to get here.
No, he would not let this slide. The audacity to kill you , trying to take you AWAY FROM HIM!?. He will fucking lay corpses upon corpses of these disgusting pieces of filth. He will BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!
"I will not rest until I see you fall, Guo Wang..."
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"Mother, please. Trust me. You have to listen-"
"Your only job is to stay here, in the harem, and bear her children! Leave the military and court decisions to the court and the Empress."
Xu Huang froze, his chest tightening at the cold dismissal. His mother, ever so pragmatic, always intent on keeping him within the narrow boundaries of what was deemed acceptable for someone of his position. But tonight, he couldn’t bear it anymore. The years of suffocating silence, the weight of expectations that had been placed on him, all of it came crashing down in a wave of defiance.
"BUT I AM DOING THIS FOR THE EMPRESS!" His voice rang out, sharp and unforgiving. Xu Huang recoiled as if struck, the shock of his outburst still fresh in the air. But his fury only seemed to fuel him further. "Her Majesty’s court, her harem... I will not let some barbarian come in and tear it all apart. And don’t forget it, Mother!" He took a step forward, his voice thick with venom, his eyes burning with a passion he hadn’t allowed himself to show before. The tears were a mask, barely held together by his pride.
"I WILL protect her, and I WILL protect this dynasty."
He let his words hang in the air, heavy with the weight of their implications. He stood taller now, a dangerous glint in his eye, as he moved closer, letting the venomous truth seep into every syllable. "As for bearing children, oh sure, I will. But I won’t do it for you. I’ll do it for ME. For MY future. I’ll be elevated, not you. You will always remain a slave to the system, while I may one day be a part of the Wang dynasty. And you know what that could mean." His voice dropped to a low, almost mocking tone. "How do you think Tai became the General? If I can place someone on the board, I can just as easily toss them out."
There was a flicker of uncertainty in Xu Huang’s eyes at the mention of Tai, but it was quickly masked. He knew the truth, he had no such influence, but the bluff was enough. It was enough to make his mother tremble. The stoic, unflinching woman who had held him back his entire life now looked unsure, her hands gripping the edge of the table as if seeking something to steady herself.
"What are you proposing?" Her voice, cold as ever, betrayed the slight quiver in her tone. She had heard his words, but was she truly willing to listen?
Junlai smirked, the edge of triumph curling at the corners of his lips. "Now, we are talking."
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Junlai had always been more than just a skilled dancer; his mind was a sharp, calculating instrument that never ceased its relentless pursuit of efficiency and innovation. While the others focused on traditional warfare, the old strategies, sieging, ambushing, and brute force, Junlai saw only limitations. What he needed was an advantage that would catch their enemies off guard, something that no one had considered. The answer, as it often was, lay in nature.
Birds.
The idea came to him one evening while he watched the flock of crows circling above the harem. Their wings cutting through the air with precision, their effortless movement, a pattern of chaos within perfect order. It wasn't just the birds that caught his attention, but the fact that they held the power to burn.
In the markets, there had been whispers of incendiary techniques used by distant lands, fire-starting mechanisms using birds trained to carry torches. The court dismissed this concept as superstition, yet to Junlai, it was a brilliant, unrecognised weapon.
Junlai would need to launch the birds at night when the enemy's defences were at their weakest. The element of surprise would be vital, he knew that as soon as the birds were released, they would need to fly directly to their targets, avoiding the natural predators and the dangers of interception. So he had the women train them, following his instructions.
He took advantage of the dark sky, the birds’ natural night-flying abilities, to send them directly into the heart of Guo Wang’s camp. The wind, as if in cooperation with his plan, would be at their backs, ensuring that the fires would spread faster.
The moment the birds were released, the chaos began.
As the trained crows took flight, their wings slicing through the air like silent messengers of destruction, the fire lit up, first softly, then raging. Guo Wang's forces had no warning, no time to react. They watched in horror as the embers from above ignited their tents, their supplies, and worst of all, their weapons.
The women who had been enlisted as fighters, strong in their defiance but unprepared for such an assault, panicked as the fire spread, consuming their weapons and armour. Their leaders scrambled, but the flames had already done the work. The camp was ablaze, confusion and terror rippling through the ranks. The birds had burned their half camp, crippled their supply chain, and taken away the one thing they held most precious, control.
Thus, it made it easier for the soldiers to attack Guo's forces and easily win. Junlai watched with pride as he saw Guo's head impaled and being paraded around inside the castle's walls. A perfect homecoming gift for you. A gift to prove that he was not just a man in your harem, but someone who would do anything to ensure your reign remained unchallenged. Which made him again fall into a pit of worry for your return.
"Her Majesty has returned!" one of the attendants announced, her voice echoing down the hall.
Junlai stood in the corridor of the harem, his heart pounding in his chest. He had not realized how much he had missed you until the news arrived, that you were finally returning from the battlefield, victorious, but at a terrible cost. The victory meant nothing if it came at the cost of your well-being.
He watched from the shadows with along with other concubines as you entered, your face a bit pale but overall with no less than a sturdy and imperial aura. Your steps echoed in the hall as you greeted your father, your son and for a fleeting moment, met his gaze.
His mind was torn between wanting to rush to you and knowing that you would hate such an open display. So, he waited, watching, every fibre of his being aching to be near you.
And you called him finally, after two painful days.
"I... Your Majesty," Junlai's voice cracked slightly, betraying his calm facade. He couldn't hide the flood of emotions that coursed through him, the concern, the longing, the worry. He took another step closer, his voice low, "You came back... but how long will it take until you're truly well again?"
You always held yourself in such high regard, and the idea of being seen as anything less than the Empress was a bitter pill to swallow.
"I am better," you said, your tone firm, but Junlai could see the exhaustion etched into your features. "The battle was won, and my soldiers did well. That's enough for me."
Junlai stood in front of you now, so close that he could reach out and touch you if he dared. His gaze softened even further, and for a moment, the two of you simply stood there, him staring into your eyes, his heart heavy with the thoughts he didn’t dare speak aloud. Then he was finally graced with your embrace causing him to breakdown.
"Whatever it takes. Just... don’t push yourself too hard. You need rest." He whispered getting his act together.
You gestured for him to sat beside you on the bed. "I heard from Father...about what you did." He gulped, his form of being just...a boy in love under your gaze.
"I... I just... couldn't-- I had to! I did it all in fear of what might... happen..." You raised his chin.
"You didn't do it for love, then?"
"Of course I did! I did it for you only!" He grasped your hand against his cheek, his eyes filling with tears, his voice breaking at every word. "You... have no idea... what... torture it was for me to live after knowing that happened to you... my Queen. It was worse than death itself."
A hint of a smile graced your lips. "I am proud of you. I am... proud of my choice too..." You gazed lovingly at his face and wiped his tears, pulling his frail body to your chest. "Tai told me you... always had an interest in warfare... sneaked in to read her books."
His heart stopped. His sister... knew? All this time... she did? Yet she...
"Um... I--- yes." His whole body shivered when your deep chuckle traveled to every cell in his body.
"I have made a... decision."
His hands fisted your tunic in anticipation. "You will be the Regent consort here when I am away. You will manage the harem, manage the safety of the capital, it's people. Charities and all."
Junlai’s heart skipped a beat. His initial instinct was to deny, to say that it was nothing, that he just did his duty and wanted nothing more than to be a mere slave to your love. But the way you spoke to him with a glint of respect, of something more than just duty, it made him pause.
You saw him. Truly saw him.
He swallowed hard, trying to suppress the trembling in his hands, the heat in his chest. Regent consort. The title echoed in his mind like a promise, like a dream he had never dared to imagine. No man had ever had it...it didn't even exist until now. He would be the first man in history to have that. He will be known by every generation to come..
"But--but I... I don't deserve it," he stammered, the weight of your approval sinking into him. "I am... only a concubine, someone who had no right to such a role. You shouldn't place such responsibility on me."
You leaned closer, your fingers brushing against his cheek in a tender gesture, lifting his gaze with a gentle but firm pressure. "You don’t need to deserve it, Junlai," you said softly, your voice carrying the weight of your conviction. "You have already proven your loyalty, your cunning, and your heart."
You emphasized with a small but significant shift in tone, "You are my mind in the harem. You will ensure that my absence does not shake the foundations of this dynasty. You will stand guard over the people, the capital... everything I’ve worked for."
Junlai’s hands clenched tighter around your tunic as he processed the weight of your words. The enormity of the role, the responsibility, it was almost too much. But the way you spoke, the way you believed in him, gave him a strength he didn’t know he had.
"Are you afraid?" you asked, your voice soft but direct, your eyes locked onto his with an intensity that made his knees weak.
He paused, feeling a swirl of emotions churn in his chest. Fear. Desire. Ambition. Hope. They all mixed together until he couldn’t tell where one feeling ended and another began. But he was honest with you, always. "Yes," he said simply. "I am afraid. But if it means standing by your side... I will do whatever it takes."
You smiled at him, a slow, dangerous smile that made his breath catch in his throat. "Good," you said, leaning in closer, your voice dropping to a low murmur and pulled him in for a gentle kiss.
He had never imagined that the harem would become more than just a gilded cage. He had never imagined that he would be the one trusted to hold the reins when you were away. But now, it felt like everything was changing.
He looked up at you, his eyes searching yours for any sign of doubt, any hesitation. But there was none. Only a quiet confidence that he knew, deep down, was meant for him.
"I won’t let you down," he whispered, his voice steady with determination, even as the weight of his new role settled over him like a mantle. "I will protect everything you’ve built, Empress. And I will make sure that no one dares challenge your rule."
You let out a satisfied sigh, your fingers trailing down the length of his arm as you leaned back, taking in the sight of him, your trusted consort, your mind in the harem.
His eyes softened, and for the first time since the battle, since everything had changed, he felt a flicker of peace settle in his chest. There was no going back now. But for the first time, he didn’t want to. He had you. And that was all that mattered.
Junlai leaned into you then, pressing his forehead against yours, his breath steadying as he let himself savor the moment, the moment where everything shifted, where he was no longer just a boy in your harem but the one who would protect everything you held dear.
Though, he mustn't forget one last thing~~
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"Ju-nlai?" Xu Fen stammered, his face twisting into an expression of disbelief. The boy, no, the boy, who once knelt before him, who had suffered beneath his cruelty, now stood in front of him as a figure that exuded nothing but cold authority. The sight rattled Fen to his core.
Junlai’s gaze locked onto him, dead and distant, as though he were staring through him. “I came to meet my brothers,” he said, his voice as calm as the still waters of a lake, but carrying the weight of a storm hidden just beneath the surface.
“Oh really? Why is that?” Fen’s words dripped with thinly veiled disdain, though his insides were anything but calm. He took a cautious step backward, uncertain of what Junlai intended. The boy had always been an afterthought, a lesser player in the family’s schemes. But that had changed, and Fen knew it.
Junlai’s eyes flickered over the room, moving like cold knives, and finally settled on the women standing behind him. His gaze was hollow, merciless. “Are you going to bring them out, or...?" His words trailed off, but the implication was clear. He wasn’t asking, he was commanding. His tone had a chilling finality, as though the fate of everyone in that room rested solely in his hands now.
Fen felt the air constrict around him, the tension thickening with each passing second. He swallowed hard, unable to hide his discomfort. With a reluctant sigh and a sour expression, he turned on his heel and went to summon the others, though it pained him to do so. He knew it was futile to resist. The man who stood in his mansion now was not the boy he had once controlled but something far more dangerous.
Minutes passed, each one dragging as Fen stood nervously, but when the Xu brothers arrived, they entered with a mixture of curiosity and defiance. They were offended, of course, by Junlai’s sudden appearance, but there was a deeper undercurrent of fear in their eyes
"Same as always..." Junlai murmured to himself, but his smile, if it could even be called that, was something else entirely. It was a sharp, knowing grin, filled with something dangerous. His voice rose, becoming almost melodic in its dark amusement. "Which is going to make it more fun!"
For the first time in the Xu household, the black sheep of the family, Junlai, let out a laugh, but it was no ordinary laugh. It was a hollow, manic laugh that seemed to echo off the walls. The sound was unsettling, almost inhuman, a reminder of the twisted journey that had led him to this moment.
Junlai’s eyes never left them as he spoke again, his voice low and chilling. “You see… I’ve come to remind you what happens when you think you can break me. You’ve burned me before… but now, I’m going to return the favour.”
Fen’s heart skipped a beat. He had always thought he could control Junlai, keep him beneath his bootheel. He had been wrong.
“Now, I think it’s time for you to understand what it feels like.”
It took one subtle gesture from Junlai and the guards moved quickly, and efficiently, grabbing the Xu brothers and laying them down on the floor. Their hands were bound, their legs spread wide, and Junlai’s eyes glinted with a dangerous gleam as he stepped closer, his boots making a soft but deliberate thud with each step. The room seemed to grow colder.
"No--p-please...forgive them...NO! I BEG YOU!" Fen's voice mixed with his son's pleas as well which earned him a slap from Junlai. That was all it took to reduce them to sobs and whimpers.
"Shut your fucking mouth, whore. And watch." He dug his hands into Fen's hair and steadied him beside himself. "Look, how cute they look." He giggled.
The guard poured more water onto the brothers' feet, the boiling liquid now bubbling and splashing as it engulfed their limbs. The screams grew louder, desperate. One of the brothers jerked against his restraints, his body writhing in pain, but there was nowhere to go. Fen could hear their flesh sizzling, the sound of raw skin peeling and blistering under the scalding heat. He wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. He had put them through this once before. Now it was his turn to witness the consequences. God, he always loved fire and its power. In fact, he began to see himself in it. Agile, dangerous, unyielding and most importantly, passionate when it came to you.
Fen watched, trembling, as the heat of the water burned into the skin of his sons. Junlai stood tall, his form casting a long shadow over the brothers writhing in pain, and spoke in a voice that resonated with unrelenting authority: “Let this be a reminder, boys." As he turned to leave, his guards following behind him, the sound of his laughter lingered in the air, a dark, triumphant melody that filled the hearts of those who heard it with dread.
Now is the turn of some concubines who have been acting up recently in your absence. Surely, they won't mind a little visit, right?
"Everyone stresses out your father soo much, don't they?" He cooed , caressing his flat abdomen as he settled in the carriage.
Nevertheless, it's all entertainment for him.
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polyacrylamidepensieve · 2 days ago
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Oh my god what dx said about residency and becoming a doctor and being self conscious about not having been exposed to most movies, shows, and music - been feeling so self conscious about my tastes in everything. Was recently told that a lot of my tastes are just plain bad, and it has me questioning everything. T is a somewhat sheltered white kid who always thought fish wasn’t supposed to taste like anything until I introduced them to fish tofu, but they resented the very idea of guiding me through movies and music they liked - said they wanted a partner, not someone they needed to “teach” about good music and plot holes. And I’m still smarting from that. Maybe next year I’ll finally get around to all of the Star Wars movies, and Star Trek, and the rest of LOTR, and and and…
But until then I rly am hoping I someday find someone who is as excited to share their favorite media with me as dx’s partner was. And maybe even someone who will watch my favorite chinese historical dramas with me, as well as my favorite anime, and introduce me to amazing new movies.
T did introduce me to a few incredible movies, which is why I feel so bad about them not liking anything I showed them. Feels a bit like my tastes are just - less refined in general. But I don’t really even know where to start, since it’s not like my parents exactly watch a ton of american movies or would let me watch tv or movies growing up. The things my parents have exposed me to are mostly korean dramas and nature shows. My dad is a huge romantic and loves Dido and Celine Dion. Not exactly helpful as a jumping off point, though certainly lovely sounding music? like I never quite figured out what there is to hate about most music. Heavy metal screamo makes my blood pressure rise, and I don’t relate to country, but… how else do other people even judge music? I usually like most things I listen to, unless they raise my blood pressure by being severely discordant or whiny / off pitch. I even love classical, having played the piano since I was 5.
Been wanting to read all of Pratchett for years. Have not gotten around to it… but finally read the first discworld book recently and it was awesome. And Neil Gaiman is practically my favorite author, so ofc I loved loved Good Omens.
Okay so this is a big deal
To me, and to a significant subset of Sir Terry's fans (including most of you who've found this by the tags), his writing is serious commentary on the human condition - politics, prejudice, self-control, revenge vs. justice, religion, idealism, faith in people vs. cynicism, and more - dressed up with fantasy settings and a hefty leavening of humor to make it fun to read. And it is WILDLY fun to read, actual laugh-out-loud or at least a snicker averaging about every page.
But there's this common idea among the "important literature" people that fun and funny books are not also worthwhile or important in the same way.
This is a Discworld book being released WITH ACADEMIC COMMENTARY and AS A PENGUIN CLASSIC. That's a HUGE amount of recognition.
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midnightmah07 · 2 days ago
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"A celebration? Really? Why, aren't you so kind. Thank you, I'll make sure to enjoy myself today."
Voice lines under the cut! • template (warning: I edited a few parts to make it look like my character's RSA dorm)
📚: well, birthday or not there's still a ton of work to do! ... although I guess it wouldn't hurt to relax a tiny bit. Just for today.
📚: my most prized possession? Well, those'd be my books! See, lately I've been reading this wonderful one about a bean stock and an ogre and— ah! S-sorry, I'm rambling too much...
📚: Leona actually gave me something besides a simple "happy birthday" message this year, can you believe it? It's a crochet book cover, he said he got it online... It is really beautiful.
📚: Did you know? Me and my mom used to share a birthday. She used to say I was her birthday gift haha! Oh, how I miss her.
📚: birthdays back home were a mix of emotions to say the least... My sisters and I were never too close so that was always awkward... But my dad always made everything better.
📚: is that— no way, you got a big pudding instead of a cake? Ahahah, why thank you! That's actually really funny, but very creative!
📚: Adeline gave me a really beautiful bouquet of flowers, I'm sure my room will smell even nicer in no time!
📚: I usually like to keep my hair in a bun when I go to sleep. Once I tried using some curlers but it looked weird... My hair is more wavy than curly so... It looked a tad bit strange.
📚: my nightgown? Ah, do you like it? I love sleeping in it, it's rather comfortable! Most women in my country tend to sleep in similar nightgowns.
📚: *yawn* ...hm? Sorry, what was that? I'm still a bit out of it, I slept too late last night... Ah, i-it totally has nothing to do with the new book I've got!!
📚: skincare? Hm... I would like to try it sometime but for now I just use a moisturizer. I care about my appearance, yes, but I've never really paid much mind to my skin in this way.
📚: Poppy gave me a crochet lion plushie... With a scar on his eye. *Sigh* is this to make fun of me or something?
📚: "If you poke Isabelle's dimples you'll have luck for 10 years...?" What sort of rumour is that? Hahah! Oh, goodness... Well, if you want to try, you're welcome to.
📚: what's this old looking note...? Oh, it's from Malleus! It's a happy birthday wish, how thoughtful. I had no idea he knew my birthday though... Is this Adeline's doing?
📚: what a delightful day this has been, and all thanks to everyone here. Thank you very much.
Duo magic:
Isabelle: Thanks for the party, Adeline.
Adeline: Happy birthday, housewarden!
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slytherinslut0 · 1 day ago
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quiet reckoning. chapter one
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summary: mattheo comes to visit. it’s strange, being twenty five and still seeing your childhood in his eyes.
warnings: just a ton of fucking angst. complicated, self destructive mattheo who’s finally coming to terms with how he pushed you away when you were younger simply because he couldn’t stand being second to tom in your eyes. the acceptance doesn’t make it hurt any less. get the tissues. cry with me please.
masterlist & other chapters.
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Life these days holds a strange, silent kind of peace, interrupted only by the faint sound of water rushing over stone—the creek that runs quick along the forest edge. In your early summer afternoons, the trees form a leafy wall of emerald and ochre, and they sway with the breeze that brushes the hair back from your cheeks.
You sit cross-legged in the dirt, hands buried in soil as you pull vegetables out of your garden in prep for the approaching cold months. You love how earth has its own signature scent: damp, fertile, alive. Somehow it makes you think of Tom—his manor, with its towering windows overlooking manicured grounds, its own gardens sprawling wide. His manor with its grand, sweeping staircases, polished black floors.
Everything was pristine, almost oppressively so. Even the walls seemed haughty, disdainful of the cobwebs that clung to the corners.
Tom had never let you stay long enough to tend to those.
But his gardens—those had their own softness, a quiet beauty that only fully revealed itself after dusk when the moonlight cast everything in silver. I loved you there, you reminisce, and the ache has a name in memory—longing. I wish I could have loved you there longer.
And now you're here, a few years after Tom told you never to come back to him—here where the ache feels smaller, further away. Here where there’s no temptation, where the air smells of earth and moss and freedom, and the silence holds its own kind of comfort. Mattheo visits sometimes, wandering into the quiet when your absence grows too thick, when too many of his owls have gone unanswered.
"He'll visit soon." He always tells you. You start to hate how much he lies to you.
"Don't pretend," you said once, and his mouth stretched into a thin, humourless smile.
"Alright," he replied. "I won't."
So now, when he comes to visit, he doesn't say it—he just sits next to you. He doesn't talk much. Neither do you. Life here is quiet—few neighbours, even fewer visitors. A woman brings you pastries from time to time and the town grocer knows your name, but most days you pass unbothered. You tend the garden when the days are warm, work on the cottage when it's cold.
When it's raining you read books and pretend they're not the same kind Tom used to keep.
On a day in early October, Mattheo sits next to you on the porch and you hate that you notice how he doesn't look at you the same way Tom did. It's something lighter, something less cloying. Sometimes you think of how unfair it is that he can taunt you silently like this—how he can remind you of the chocolate streaks in Tom's inky hair, the depth in his dark eyes. How he can remind you that he holds all the same features as his brother, just without the weight.
As the sun sinks slowly through the trees, casting pink and orange across the sky, you turn your face to the creek, watching the water ripple over stones and rocks, and you think of how young you loved them—the way your love grew different when you weren't looking.
Mattheo was chaos, always had been. I could have helped him find himself. But that thought feels hollow, and it's always followed by another. If he would have let me.
"It's strange to think that this is your life." Mattheo speaks after a while of not. He lights a cigarette, and you reach for it when he passes it to you. "You could have done anything."
You inhale the smoke and close your eyes—thinking of how cigarettes taste like fire and ash and the last time Tom had taken your hand.
"Maybe this is all I ever wanted to be." You reply, spinning the cigarette between your fingers. "At peace."
He glances at you in the fading light—the way the sunset casts shadows in the hollows of your cheeks, makes the gold of your earrings look darker against your hair.
He frowns. "You don't look at peace."
No, you think, taking another drag. I never really have.
You pass the cigarette back to him, watching the smoke drift in the breeze. He doesn't say anything else, so you don't either.
Instead, you watch the dark start to close in, the sky turn into an endless stretch of indigo, stars winking to life somewhere above the trees. The fireflies come out eventually, when the night is quiet and heavy and the world turns a little sleepy. They flutter around in the trees and grass like faeries—like stars that've made their home on the ground—and Mattheo watches them with a furrow in his brow.
You wonder what he's thinking, then think better of it at the bitter twist of his mouth. He always thought they'd burn.
"Why do you still come here?" You question. He turns to you, and when his eyes meet yours that's when you realize you'd verbalized the thought. "To sit with me."
Mattheo shakes his head. "I'll need another smoke to answer that."
So he pulls out another cigarette and lights it. The first inhale is long, and the exhale makes you blink. You look away and pretend like his response doesn't make your stomach twist.
The stream moves a little darker in the moonlight and the pine trees shiver with a gentle breeze that smells like soil. You feel the comfort in it—in knowing that all of this has been here longer than you ever have, and that it'll be here long after you're gone.
Perhaps that's precisely what you chased. A home in something steady.
"I come to remind myself you're okay." He says after a long silence, staring at his hands. "Sometimes it feels like you're dead."
You blink again. He's more perceptive than you remember.
"I'm still here," you remind him, but he laughs without humour in it.
"Sure, you're there," he replies, before another pause. "But you're not really living."
He says the words casually, like they're a fact. You think they're meant to hurt. He's right—it's a thought that comes quietly, the way most unwanted thoughts do. You over look at the river, the fireflies, the dirt under your fingernails—you try to feel the chill in the October breeze, the soft moss under your feet. You try to be alive.
"Why do you think that?" You ask even when you know the answer.
He takes another drag of his cigarette, and then exhales—casting his hair grey when the smoke drifts over his face.
He looks older here, when the night stretches over him. It reminds you how much has changed.
"Sometimes I think you're here to punish yourself." He says, passing you the cigarette again. "You say you come here for peace, but this isn't peace like a person should have. It's just an absence. Silence, and isolation, and nothing else." You glance down at his hand resting on his knee beside you, shadows deepening in the lines of his palm. He watches you. "I wish you'd stop hating yourself for what he's become."
A lump forms in your throat—you remember Tom as a boy, the way he'd hold magic in his palms and make lights dance just to make you laugh. You remember the way he once looked at you, quietly and gently in a way that made you feel safe within crumbling walls offering cold stone decorum. You remember one of the last times at Hogwarts, once things took a turn, when he held more than just magic in his palms—when the lights danced only to burn you instead of make you laugh.
You wonder what it says about you, that you loved him in both.
"I don't hate myself, Matt." You mutter, more conviction than truth. "If I'm punishing myself at all, it's for giving him something to hurt."
He doesn't say anything for a while, so you think briefly that his silence is agreement. You and him both know that there is a lot to hurt about, when it comes to Tom.
"You didn't give him anything." He rebuttals with certainty. "He was who he was before you even knew his name."
It's easy to forget that sometimes, the way he had been all sharp edges even when you'd first met. The way he'd pulled you and his brother through crumbling, damp, narrow hallways with something far too assured for a six year old. Something that made you want to follow him forever—something that whispered; I'll never let anything hurt you.
You exhale a plume of smoke. The fireflies look like falling stars when you close your eyes.
"Sometimes, I think I made him human." You say, and immediately wish you didn't. It's a weird thought, but one that comes unbidden. "Others, I think I made him evil."
It tastes like acid the moment you say it aloud. I made him evil. You think back to all those nights in the quiet, the way you taught him how to confide in you, the way he looked at you as if you held some answer he couldn't find on his own. You remember the secrets he shared, the way he softened when no one else could see. You remember how long it took him to get there.
But you remember the darker moments, too—moments when you didn't pull away, even when you should have. Moments you whispered reassurances instead of warnings, when you offered comfort instead of caution. Maybe, in those silences, you fed a need that shouldn't have been nourished, let him believe his ambitions weren't dangerous, only misunderstood.
You wonder if, in being the one person who never condemned him, you gave him permission to be what he became.
"And me?" Mattheo turns to you. You glance at him, the hard line of his mouth and his eyes that look more black than brown in the night— "did you make me evil too?"
You're both quiet for a moment, the only sound is the stream, the only motion is the flutter of the fireflies.
"I don't believe I made you anything." You say finally, letting him take the cigarette back from you. "I suppose you only became who you wanted to be."
You think, quietly, that it's a kinder fate than the rest.
He huffs a laugh. "So you think I wanted to be an asshole."
He's joking, you think. Or he's bitter again, resentful. You're sure he wanted to be whatever Tom would accept him as—though you'd never say those words out loud.
"I think you wanted to be loved." Is what you settle on, and the words tear your throat apart as you speak them. "Just like I did."
He hums, noncommittally, and lights a third cigarette.
You wonder why you still know that he's bitter even when he's not saying the words—why you still know that he only hums that way when something hurts, or when it's a truth he can't bring himself to admit.
"You found it now, haven't you?" You fill his silence with another sentence you wish you didn't say. "You're engaged."
You watch the embers from the cigarette tip light up the hollows of his cheeks, the way it burns his eyes gold as he takes a drag on it.
"Yeah," he nods into the night. "I'm engaged."
Something selfish in you aches at that.
"Then why do you come here and look at me like you're lonely?" You try to ask it casually, but you don't think you manage it. You see him tense when he realizes how well you still read him. "What is it you're missing, Matt?"
"I don't know." He looks at you in the dark, his expression lost in the shadows of his hair. "Sometimes I think it's you."
It's an answer like a knife, because you've known all along that he feels the same way you do—that the loneliness stays and the regret never really dissipates—that the 'what-ifs' linger long after they shouldn't.
"I'm not your girl." You remind him.
It sounds empty when you say it, but he made it clear when you were younger that he wanted it this way.
"You never were."
He looks away after that, to the stream, and you wonder if it has ever felt hollow like this.
All the lights seem very small suddenly, the moon, the stars—you're not sure where his vulnerability is coming from, all these years in passing. You assume it’s the old saying—absence makes the heart grow fonder.
"But you wanted me to be." It's more of a question.
"For a time, when we were kids." He gives you honesty that surprises you. "Sometimes I think I still do."
Why?—you want to ask, suddenly, desperately—and wonder at the cruelty of the thought. Asking that would be the worst kind of question. Why do you want me?
You think you know all the answers already. They sit bitter at the back of your throat.
"So that's why you come here." You say instead, shivering with the wind that brushes over you. "To remind yourself of all the reasons you still feel empty."
There's a dark sort of humour to the sound he lets out, one that makes your chest ache. He turns to you again, and his hands shake when he lifts the cigarette.
"It's not you that makes me feel empty, princess." He whispers. "It's the absence of you."
You look at him, then—really look. There's something strange about being twenty five and still seeing your childhood in his eyes. Despite the nickname, he’s not joking. It’s the kind of confession that tastes like a fist, like a punch that breaks bones.
I know, you think. I wish it could have been different for us.
"You need to stop coming here." There's no spine in those words. They're putty between you. "Just like Tom told me to stop, I'm now telling you."
He's quiet, watching you as the embers of the cigarette flicker over his fingers.
"I'll stop," he pauses, and you see the pain in his throat as he swallows. "When he finally comes to you."
That, you think, will probably never happen.
"So you'll come here forever." You say, and his mouth twists in a silent, bitter smile.
"I guess I will."
You don't have a response to that. It's not a choice he makes so much as it is his reality, and you, of all people, could never fault him for that.
So instead of words, you lean to rest your head on his shoulder, same way you did when you were kids. You sit together, watching the moon and stars and the stream and the trees and everything else around you that reminds you you're alive, even if you don't feel it. You think of his fiancé, you know she'd never understand. This is childhood love in its most vulnerable form—and you thank him for it, silently, for reminding you that you're not alone. Even if you're sure you are.
He leans his head sideways, on top of yours—a gesture almost automatic.
"I still think of you in the summer." He mutters into your hair. You close your eyes and remember the sun, the way it once felt like it touched your bones. "The summer when we were nine. Swimming in the river at night. Those stupid bugs that I thought were made of fire." He pauses for a minute, looking around, and you think he's done talking, until he isn't. "I suppose I do understand why you chose this life."
You remember that summer, too. Small children swimming in a river that was all silver shadows under the moonlight, chasing fireflies like stars. No parents to call you home, no rules except the ones of your own.
Somehow, that's not your favourite memory of him.
"And I think of you in the fall." You say, listening to your own voice sounding distant. "The year just before Hogwarts. When the leaves turned red and orange and gold. When you raked them into a pile for us to jump in."
He hums. "I tried to kiss you that fall."
"And Tom fought you for it."
"And he won." Mattheo's voice sounds distant too, almost lost. "He always won."
It's strange, thinking of autumn when you think of Mattheo, but it fits—he's just as fleeting. Beautiful, easy to fall into, but always gone too soon, leaving a chill in his place.
"Sometimes I think it's because he knew he could." You build off his thoughts. "And sometimes I think it's because he just wanted to prove it."
He shrugs. "Either way, I still lost."
It's such a mournful way to reminisce, you think, for the children you used to be.
"And what now?" You ask.
He exhales slowly, and the smoke looks like a mist in front of you. "I suppose now we both lose."
And that, is the most honest thing he's said all night.
You turn your face into his shoulder, the way you had when you were younger. You close your eyes, and for a moment you imagine being a child again—back in the days when love was simple and nights were endless. Back to a time when you didn't know things you should and all you had were each other's shoulders to lean on in an orphanage dirtier than the forest before you.
"We lose together, then." You offer, a half-whisper.
"Yeah," he answers, just as quiet, just as lost. "We lose together."
There's a bitter kind of contentment in that, you think. You're sure that's a terrible thing.
You take a few moments to brace yourself for the shift in conversation, and then—
"How is he?"
"He's fine." Mattheo understands what you aren't asking. "The leader he always wanted to be."
You close your eyes again and hear the stream running steady, moving around rocks that have been shaped by years of its presence. You ignore the ache in your chest.
"He's happy?"
You don't have to open your eyes to know that Mattheo smiles bitterly. "He's as happy as someone like Tom could be."
There are several beats of silence, the kind that holds too many unsaid things. You feel it in Mattheos exhale that there's something he isn't saying. You don't press him on it. You sit together like this for a while under the sky—watching the way the dark clouds move, the stars shift.
You think about childhoods that never last. About fireflies and streams and boys you loved.
"Tell me something true." You murmur as the midnight grog sets in. "Tell me something that'll warm me through winter."
Mattheo pauses, silent, and for a moment you think he's not going to answer.
"I've loved you most of my life." He mutters finally, into the top of your head. The words feel like a breath of summer, in a quiet, dark night. "That's the kind of truth that could melt an iceberg."
It's the sort of declaration you could only share in the cover of the night, in the silence of a forest. Not the sort of admission that would ever survive daylight. I've loved you most of mine, too.
"And a lie?" You reply.
His fingertips run through his hair, almost idly. You suppose he's looking back into memories of fleeting autumn's and summer sun, the time he tried to kiss you and the day he pushed you away. He doesn't answer the question for a while. You wonder if he doesn't have an answer, or if he just doesn't want to say it.
And then, finally, quietly— "I'm happy for him."
You close your eyes again. That, you think, is the cold truth of winter.
You turn your face again into his shoulder for a second time tonight, but you keep your eyes open. You can feel the weight of your childhood on your shoulders, the trees and the creek behind you, and the silence that follows his lie.
Suddenly, you're furious—a fire tearing through regret. You wish Mattheo hadn't chosen booze, fights, and empty escapes. You wish he'd let you love him properly before pushing you away. You wish he hadn't always resented Tom—hadn't always felt second best in a way no amount of reassurance could fix. Yet somehow, you just can't fault him for any of it.
He's always known you loved Tom first; he's carried that like a wound.
"Ask me to lie to you." You say as you swallow your anger.
There's an exhale. You're sure Mattheo's watching the trees, the wind as it runs quietly past.
"Lie to me."
You tilt your head up to the sky. You try to remember that fall, you try to feel what it was like to be a child again, and to believe in a future that wasn't shaped by the past. You think of his fiancé.
"I'm happy for you." You whisper.
From the corner of your eye, you know he smiles bitterly again, but he responds with nothing more than his unsteady breathing. You're both silent like this for the rest of his stay, together under the moon that's watched you both change.
"I'll be back in a month," he mutters, just loud enough for you to hear as time stretches thin.
He has to go before the sun rises, before dawn coaxes him into staying. You consider, if only for the flicker of a second, letting him.
"I'll see you then." You lean back and look up into his eyes, searching into the gold buried deep. If you look too long, you think you may see his broken heart. You make yourself smile anyway. "Write to me."
"Even if you don't write back." He replies with a nod.
The cold air makes your eyes water. For a moment he's still, like he may pull you into him and drown you in all the things he feels. Instead, he puts a cigarette into his mouth, lighting it with one of his hands. The lighter casts an orange glow over his face that makes him look pale and tired again, like the boy you'd met in an orphanage that was so much dirtier than the forest before you.
"Good night." He murmurs, and you feel his thumb brush your cheek before he apparates back to the life you left behind.
And now, alone under the black sky, you take a deep breath. Then, you exhale, go back into your cabin and you try not to think about all the things you've lost.
You try not to think of the boy you've loved for far too large a part of your life and how it changed the boy who's loved you for far too large a part of his. You try instead to focus on what you have—walls and peace and solitude, something certain that won't disappear when it rains.
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moosesarecute · 2 days ago
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Day 3: Belonging
@azrielappreciationweek
Masterlist
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Azriel loved his family.
He loved his mother, but rarely saw her. He refused to bring her any danger when he knew she couldn’t protect herself.
He loved his brothers. Even though he has had different arguments with both of them lately, he loved them.
He loved Amren, Mor, Feyre, Elain and Nesta.
His entire family gave him joy.
But he was missing someone. Someone that was just his. His mother had never been able to raise him. Rhys and Cass were friends before he came along. Rhys’ mother was exactly that, Rhys’. Mor chose Cass and all the Archeron sisters had mates that wasn’t him.
He was always the second choice.
He knew they loved him back and did their best to include him, but they would never prioritize him over their mates. And he understood that, but it wasn’t enough.
He needed to be the first choice.
That’s why he loved you more than anything and also why he chose to keep you a secret.
He knew his family would never take you away from him, but he hated the thought of even sharing the amazing relationship the two of you had with others.
You had now been dating for two years. And it was the two most amazing years of his life.
If he had a bad day, you were there to hold him. If he had a good day, you were there to be happy with him. And if he had a normal day, you were there to make it perfect.
He had lost count of the days he had come home to a freshly cooked dinner and your smiling face.
You loved to cook in your free time and even though Azriel often urged you to let him help you in the kitchen, the answer was always the same: “I love to cook, Az. It’s my way of unwinding.”
So he let you have the cooking and he did the dishes. It worked for the two of you.
“Are you even listening?” Rhysand asked him.
Mission, Illyria, two weeks, female training
Thank the mother for his shadows.
“You want me to spend two weeks in Illyria making sure the females are training,” he answered with a neutral tone. “I listen, but isn’t this more of Cassian’s expertise?”
He did not want to leave you for two weeks. In only one week was your two years anniversary and he had planned something special.
“Cassian is going on the same mission, but he’s taking half the camps and you’re taking the other half,” Rhys explained. “Spending a month every time we have to make sure the females are training isn’t going to work, so we are trying this solution.”
He only nodded.
Even though he hated to miss your anniversary, he just couldn’t let Rhys know about you just yet.
“Thank you, Az,” Rhys answered. “Can you start tomorrow?”
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It had been two weeks without Azriel. A week since your anniversary. And even though you knew why he wanted to keep you a secret, you still hated the fact that you were alone on your anniversary.
So to say you were excited for him to return was an understatement.
You were almost blooming in happiness. You had made his favorite dinner and dessert and made sure the food was ready for nine o’clock. He said he would be back at nine o’clock.
But then it turned nine fifteen and then half past nine and then ten and then eleven.
You knew Azriel well enough to know that he would have let you know if he knew he would be late.
But you had gotten no message.
So you started pacing.
And cleaning.
You ate without him. You read your book. You knitted. And you took a bath.
And finally, at three o’clock in the morning, you heard the door to your house close.
You basically ran towards the front door and were immediately met by a wall of shadows.
They embraced you, looked over your entire body for injuries and pulled you towards their master.
“Az?” You asked carefully.
“I’m sorry for coming home so late,” he answered with a tired voice.
The shadows had now pulled you so that you stood only half a meter away from Azriel.
His leathers were ripped and his head was heavy.
“What happened?” You asked him with a gasp.
Before he could answer you had already slipped on your shoes and started dragging him out the door.
“Y/N,” he said and tried to hold you back. “I’m fine.”
You stopped in your tracks.
“Az,” you started with a sigh. “Love, you can’t even stop me, a female half your size, from dragging you to the clinic. I think we both know you’re not fine.”
He let you win the argument and went along to the clinic. He walked worriedly slow and every now and then he let out a painful whimper. He even had difficulties holding his wings up from the ground.
You had just gotten to the clinic and sat down in the examination room, when you felt his hand go limp and looked up to see his eyes closed.
“Az?” You asked and shook him carefully. He gave no reaction.
You didn’t even think before you ran out of the room and found the closest healer.
Three healers rushed into his room and started working. They healed many small wounds and a bigger one on his back, before they bandaged some of the deeper ones.
You couldn’t look away from his face. He looked so peaceful, it felt so wrong knowing he was harmed.
“He’ll be okay,” one of the healers said to you. “You’re Y/N, right?”
You looked up at the healer from the chair you sat in. She knew about you? You didn’t think Azriel had told anyone about you.
“He usually asks for you right after waking up,” she told you as an answer to your confusion. “I’ll have to contact the High Lord. He’ll want to know his shadowsinger is safe.”
You nodded at the healer and spent as long time as possible beside Azriel, holding his hand and cuddling his hair, before you went back home, alone.
If he needed you to be a secret, you would be.
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Azriel woke with a deep breath.
“Y/N?” He asked aloud with a groggy voice.
“Az?”
He couldn’t hold back the disappointment in hearing his brother’s voice and not yours.
He opened his eyes and was met with both of his brothers nervous stares.
Rhys handed him a glas of water and Cassian helped him sit up, even though he didn’t need help.
“You scared us there, Az,” Rhys said. “You had poison in your blood.”
Even though he heard Rhys’ words, he simply couldn’t understand what he was talking about.
The only thing he remembered was shadow walking home to you. He remembered making sure you were okay and that you dragged him to the clinic without even a hug or kiss.
But where were you now?
Y/N?
Home, safe, worried
His shadows saved him from going mad from worry.
“Az?” Cassian’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. He looked over to his brother. “Who’s Y/N?”
Azriel struggled to not show his surprise and confusion. How did he know about you?
“You’ve been muttering that name in your sleep,” Rhys explained and Azriel understood that they already knew who you are. “We’re sorry if you haven’t felt like you could tell us.”
“Yeah,” Cassian agreed. “We haven’t been prioritizing you and we’ve hated ourselves for it. Hope you can forgive us and let us have a new chance.”
Azriel didn’t know how to respond. He felt seen and understood. It felt nice. He felt ready even though he dreaded having to explain his feelings.
“Y/N is my girlfriend,” he started to explain. “We’ve been together for two years now and I didn’t want anyone to know because-“
“We understand Az,” Rhys interrupted him. “You wanted her for yourself. You don’t need to explain unless you want to.”
Relief grew from his body.
But he knew he wouldn’t feel okay until you were in his arms.
“Can one of you maybe get Y/N and bringer her here?” He asked carefully.
“Where is she?” Cassian asked as he jumped up from his chair and got ready to leave.
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You woke from a knock at your door. It had been a long and anxious night not knowing how Azriel’s doing and you hadn’t realized you fell asleep.
Another knock made you sit up in the couch.
You knew it wasn’t Azriel, he had stopped knocking ages ago.
But you had a good feeling and went to open the door anyway.
“Hello,” a large illyrian male you realized had to be Cassian said.
“Hello?” You answered confused.
“There’s an awake shadowsinger that really wants you to come visit him.”
You had to hold back a squeal when you realized Azriel had told his family about you. And you immediately got ready to go to the clinic.
Cassian walked in front of you into the room and then pulled the High Lord out so that you and Azriel could be alone. It was absurd.
“Hi,” Azriel said.
His voice made you melt a little and you rushed towards him to give him a hug and kisses.
“Don’t ever do that again,” you said as you kissed his entire face. “You scared me.”
“I’m sorry,” Azriel answered and moved to embrace you as well. “You know I’ll always come home to you, right?”
You nodded into his chest.
“I don’t like being away from you,” you whispered. “I think we belong together.”
Shadow started playing with your hair as Azriel became more and more relaxed.
“I know we do.”
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Dividers by @cafekitsune
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kiyo-cant-write · 3 days ago
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Welp, I'm kinda back to request the guy again(y'know the RSA Silver anon). Tho you can call me as 🎵 anon. Thanks tho.
So I kinda have some little new idea pop in my head, I got the idea when I read some old scenarios. About Silver and Sebek, having a crush on Yuu. Then tries to fight over Yuu's attention. Just imagine they fight over Yuu and Yuu accidentally getting squish between their chest I mean check their PE uniform card, while they get too busy having a staring competition to notice Yuu got squish. Yuu intensely blushing, probably almost fainting
I hope you don't mind this.
silver and sebek fighting "over" yuu/reader ✧・゚
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Name change initiated, tags updated.
Hello! I don't mind this! I like Silver and the rest of Diasomnia (though my personal bias is Malleus xD) And I hope I interpreted your idea well! My sincere apologies for taking a longer time to get this out, my health is not doing well at the moment.
Note to anyone looking to request that I currently have a very big request for all the first years in the works and it is taking me some time to complete. That said, requests will be slow to go out but are open, actually.
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Summary: [Name] is swept up in an argument between Silver and Sebek Zigvolt during flight class. Were they always this built?
TW/CW: None
Notes: pre-relationship, the reader is described as smaller than Sebek/Silver, the reader is the Ramshackle Prefect/Yuu, they/them pronouns for the reader
Guest Stars: Grim, Malleus Draconia (mentioned)
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✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚:
Silver & Sebek Zigvolt
Silver did not plan to be in the argument in the first place.
He isn't a very confrontational personality to begin with.
That, and his father raised him better (or he says that).
And meanwhile, Sebek is just Sebek-ing, that's how it starts.
The argument doesn't begin with Malleus but it's sure about Malleus now and Silver kind of wants to punch Sebek.
Sebek throws the first punch and Silver is defending himself.
The two of them are airheads sometimes and forget they're in a joint class and there are people everywhere.
[Name] is smaller than the two of them and ends up caught between them but neither of them cares to notice.
[Full Name] you are about to experience being smooshed between two guys who have trained as guards since childhood.
Sebek is still more or less yelling.
Silver effectively politely conveys "Shut the fuck up."
[Name] and the other students are BAFFLED.
It seemed that it would be a while before this is resolved...
Silver is the one to point out this is a ... position.
Sebek gets offended that Silver is protecting [Name].
But why? WHAT IS THIS HUMAN DOING TO HIM?
Silver chooses to repress his feelings.
Trauma responses or something (Book 7 did things to me)
Then [Name] fainted and both boys began to p a n i c !!
"This is all your fault, Silver!"
"Sebek, be quiet."
Silver's expression might have seemed neutral to anyone in Vargas' PE class who was watching but Sebek recognized this type of expression from his childhood. Silver was glaring daggers at him from his group's area.
But! This was a fight and Sebek would win (for Malleus).
"HOW DARE YOU INSULT WAKA-SAMA?!??" Sebek roared, ignoring the class around him as all of his senses focused on that cat.
It would be good to note that while it was a "fight." it was a fight that Silver did not want to be in. How had it even begun? Silver wasn't sure. He was trying to talk to one of his classmates about something and then Sebek started yelling (really, who decided to let joint classes be with the first years?) and soon after, this had started.
"NYA! WHAT DID YOU SAY EYEBROWS?" Grim fired back at Sebek.
Raised by General Lilia Vanrouge, Silver has some quirks that others are quick to point out. He grew up in Briar Valley, after all. His "human skills" leave much to be desired. Still, Lilia instilled a sense of justice in Silver, and the knowledge that you should not say nasty things about others if they are your friends.
Silver sighed. This was why he decided to keep his thoughts on today's PE incident to himself. It would be better for everyone that way. But his emotions, the ones he tried to ignore, made things harder for him sometimes.
[Name] is being a bit daft, though. Why did they get involved?
As Sebek yelled at Grim, the cat jumped into his human half's arms and caused Sebek to, as he was trying to grab Grim, get much too close to the Prefect (for safety and for Silver to accept).
He sighed again as he took several steps over to the trio and attempted to intimidate Sebek away from [Name].
"Sebek, cease this at once. This is unbecoming," Silver told him, standing just behind the Prefect and staring Sebek down.
"Silver, stay out of this!" Sebek hissed at him, not realizing how close he was to the Prefect, "I need to finish this."
"Malleus-sama would not approve..." Silver continued slowly.
He took a step closer.
"I am doing this for his honor, that cat insulted him!!"
Sebek pushed closer and Silver couldn't mask his irritation. Sebek would not listen to Silver and the light-haired man knew this.
"Even if he did, you're much too close to [Name]," the second-year added.
As each boy moved closer, they had [Name] cornered.
"Are you insinuating that you have some kind of claim over this human?" Sebek asked, nearly scoffing as if insulted by the concept.
"No, I am saying you're too close to them. Be polite."
"Silver, you speak and act so boldly for someone taken in off the streets," Sebek told him, bringing up a longstanding issue between them.
He had to ignore this. It wasn't supposed to be something shared with others, that he was taken in by Lilia, that Lilia was his father.
"This isn't about that. You're being rude."
Silver had never wanted to punch Sebek more than he did at this moment.
Smushed between the two guards, [Name] held Grim close to their chest. They could spell the faint scent of flowers from Silver whereas Sebek smelled like tea. They were able to see now, up close and personally, that Malleus' guards were strong, built young men, not as lean as some of the other students at Night Raven.
A few moments passed as Silver and Sebek attempted to stare each other down, other students beginning to watch the interaction, waiting for a fight to break out. It was a miracle that Vargas did not notice the commotion but he was busy telling some poor student about his great and important very heroic deeds.
"... Grim, I think I am going to die," [Name] whispered to the cat.
Startled, Grim looked up at them with such a sudden motion he jostled their spot between Silver and Sebek slightly.
"Nya?? Don't die, [Name]!!"
But the Prefect could not hear them anymore, they were dead to the world for the foreseeable future. With a bright red face, they looked somewhere between embarrassed and feverish.
"Oh no. [Name], are you okay?"
Silver moved away from Sebek as the green-haired boy did the same. Sebek noticed the state of the Ramshackle Prefect instantly.
"AAH! THE HUMAN NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION!!" Sebek shouted
For a moment, Silver wished that Sebek had a volume button he could (politely) turn down. It would save everyone a lot of grief.
All of this attracted the attention of Vargas who shipped around and sprinted over to them, forgetting his discussion of heroism with that poor, poor unsuspecting student.
"Don't yell," Silver told Sebek as he noticed Vargas speeding in their direction, his voice sounding like a whisper in comparison to Sebek's yells.
"HAH? This is all your fault, Silver!"
"Sebek. I said... Quiet down."
Today would be a long day for everyone...
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Imagine the rest for yourself~
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✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚: ✧・゚:
Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are appreciated! Do NOT repost my writing/headcanons as your own >:c Check the top of my blog for the inbox status and read the rules before requesting. This is not a twst-only blog! ^^
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sozila · 4 hours ago
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nanami as a girl dad (happy 100 followers!)
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synopsis: just a very long drabble about nanami kento as a father to a girl.
pairing: husband!nanami kento x wife!reader, first time girl parents
warnings: descriptions of sexual activities, mdni.
masterlist | part two
a/n:
this was originally just a little blurb i thought of bc of a post i reblogged, but i decided to keep it as a treat until now! thank you for 100 followers (now 110, i can't keep up with you guys☠️), i truly appreciate it! 💕 i hope you enjoy 🤭 so sorry i split this, but it's probs too long together 😣 the next part will be up tomorrow or the day after tho 😜 much luv 🤍!!
p.s. subtle reminder all requests and asks are open… 🩷
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nanami as a girl dad!
you were caught by surprise when you found out you were pregnant. you and your husband weren’t exactly trying for a kid, but you weren’t taking steps to prevent it either. you stopped birth control when you got married to kento, which was coming up on two years ago. 
you weren’t one to track your cycle, but even then you knew it had been a good while since you had one. three pregnancy tests later, you were sure this wasn’t a false positive. you slumped on the bathroom floor in shock and joy. all you could think about was kento’s reaction.
you and kento wanted a family. you established this very early on. he wanted marriage, kids, the whole nine yards. he was so collected in his life he had sorted all serious life decisions as soon as you started dating to avoid any and all conflicts of interest. that was your beloved, alright. the calm and collected one. he held down the world so you could live freely and happily. 
but one thing that took you by surprise was something he didn’t have to outwardly tell you, but you deduced over time. 
kento nanami was obsessed with the thought of having a daughter.
anytime you’d be out shopping, you’d see him linger at the baby section going through tutus and little pink onesies.
he’d send you videos of babies during work, which you scolded him for. (they were very adorable, however.) they always seemed to be daddy and daughter ones.
when you were putting away laundry, you noticed in his tie drawer a tiny pink bow tucked away. you giggled to yourself. maybe he’d bring it up with you when he was ready.
and when your friends had their daughter early last year, you saw the way kento’s eyes twinkled with hope when you both visited the newborn. he asked so many questions to the new parents, what books they read and where they bought their stroller from. he was so engrossed in jotting notes down you practically had to tear him away to go home that night. 
so it was safe to say your husband was very much excited in the idea of having a baby, especially a little girl.
you knew the chance of not having a girl was there, but something told you it was fate your first would be one.
you couldn’t keep the secret for very long because just as how you found that sweet little bow so easily, your husband was quite the detective himself as well. 
you were reading on the couch when kento bursts in the living room with a very familiar stick in his hand, face incredulous.
“darling, please tell me this isn’t one of your friend’s.” his voice was filled with raw emotion; you hadn’t seen him tear up this badly since your wedding day.
you throw your book to the side and give him a betraying laugh. “did you dig through our bathroom’s trash?! you didn’t even let me surprise you properly!” you protest, your eyes welling up as well.
he ignores the accusation and instead falls to his knees in front of you and cups your stomach, fully sobbing now. “we’re pregnant,” he says. “you’re carrying our baby.” he’s buried his face in your thighs, trying to hide the ugly sobs leaving him. you pull his face up to yours and have him to look at you. “yes, ken. we’re pregnant.”
if kento wasn’t already very protective of you, he definitely was now. holding doors, lifting things, hell- even making breakfast was all getting done by him. your hormones made it very hard to deal with his overbearing behavior and you ended up getting angry every time you were barred from doing something.
“ken, let me make my own goddamn coffee or i’m picking up this knife.” you grit out, shuffling groggily to the counter in disheveled clothing, your tiny baby bump peeking from under your tank top. the man silently backs away with his hands up. he knew what battles he lost with you.
(he still turned the pot on every morning. just to keep the water hot, of course.)
he also was big on making sure you got all the nutrition you needed; his cooking focused on your health while also incorporating your favorites. it definitely helped that he was a phenomenal cook.
your morning sicknesses were brutal. you ended up an entire two weeks of being woken up at 3am running to the bathroom to puke your guts out. kento took note of all the foods that made you nauseous and remembered not to buy them.
however, kento was buying a ton of baby gear. bottles, pump machine, diapers, bibs, everything. soon your bonus room (soon baby’s room!) was filled with miscellaneous items that kento kept bringing, which again: you scolded him for.
(he never listened. that man is stubborn too.)
the weeks fly by and soon it’s time to see the sex of your baby. kento’s the one who’s been micromanaging all your checkups and helped pick out an OB-GYN that you both loved. he’s been calling off work every appointment, and you once cried in the car because you felt so overwhelmed with happiness that your husband was so supportive and attentive. he had to rock you for a good five minutes before you went in. 
“uncross those little legs, baby..” your doctor cooed as she moved the cold device over your belly. you’re gripping kento’s hand with a vice-like hold. you knew you wanted a girl so badly, and you’d love the boy equally— you just knew how much it meant to kento. his eyes were also trained on the sonogram, nervous. his foot was tapping intensely and it only stopped when you touched his knee. you both share a loving nonverbal glance before turning your attention back to the screen.
“congratulations mommy and daddy, it’s a little girl!” your doctor exclaims with a whisper. 
kento gives a shudder and smiles at you, overjoyed. you look at your little girl on the screen again and immediately burst into tears, throwing yourself on kento’s chest.
your doctor slips out for a moment to let you both recollect yourselves.
he’s been repeating to you in soft whispers, “i’m going to be a girl dad, i’m going to have a little girl!” 
your belly started showing a lot earlier than you thought, but genuinely you didn’t mind. your over-prepared husband already bought comfort clothing that were loose but cute, and even maternity jeans?? you burst out laughing when he showed you them, and he was confused by your response. they’re extremely efficient..” he defensively said, a pout on his lips.
another weird upside of your pregnancy was that kento was never working overtime at his corporate job. he practically races out of the office to come home to you and the little biscuit, something you started calling the baby.
and of course, he loved seeing you pregnant the most. sometimes he would come home and immediately go in for kisses, which led to you laying on kitchen counter spread open for him as he eats you out eagerly.
“god, you look so sexy like this,” kento murmured between you. he has his arms hooked around your thighs, but his hands were firmly on your round tummy. you could see his wedding band glint as he stretched his hand over the top; that definitely turned you on.
you’re not even there mentally from all the white stars you were seeing (your husband had that effect on you). “mm.. yeah?” you reply weakly, trailing off into soft moans. you were blissed out and so happy you were having this sexy man’s child.
safe to say when the summer heat really kicked in and you were in crop tops and summer dresses, he couldn’t keep his hands off of you. or his dick out of you. you were worried the baby would be uncomfortable, but kento reassured you he took the utmost care in keeping you and the baby first.
given your hormones, it became free-range pounding all around the house after that talk.
you both knew you didn’t want a huge baby shower or any parties, but a small gathering of your friends and family at your house was held by the request of your mother. you had told both your and kento’s parents ahead of time you were pregnant, and the gender. they were both equally excited for the new addition.
you had some of your college friends attend, and similarly, kento’s came too. you had known satoru gojo and suguru geto since you first started dating kento, and they’d become your friends as well. when you saw them, satoru was instantly raving over you and your “pregnancy glow” and how he and suguru would be the rich gay uncles that would spoil their new niece or nephew. (it was no doubt their present was the largest on the table.)
kento was mildly irritated with satoru hovering you so much, but you swatted your husband and told him to let it be. 
some of kento’s students also came because you knew they were very dear to kento. a pink haired yuuji and his two friends greeted you with small gifts they scrounged up with their allowances. you thanked them warmly and chatted a while before the anticipated event of your gender reveal.
given your family was non-sorcerers, the reveal was not themed like you originally wanted to— where kento would pull a cursed tool from a box, and it would be either pink or blue. kento had to break it to you that he’s never actually seen a pink cursed tool, nor did he own one. it sounded way cooler in your head, but kento was against having any sort of weapons at your party anyways. 
so, the classic cake cutting was what you chose. a simple white cake with “girl or boy?” in fancy lettering, and the hidden center was filled with pink frosting.
everyone gathers around you and kento as you cut the cake, and once you both hold it up, they all erupt in cheers. 
you kiss kento sweetly on the lips and smile up at him. "thank you, my love," you whispered to him before your family came to bear hug you both.
you could’ve sworn you hear satoru sobbing in the background while egregiously taking candid pictures of the moment, but you were too wrapped up in the hugs from your husband and immediate family to really hear. 
you started to really collect the pink items after that. your favorite was a pair of dolly shoes with a matching mommy set nobara dropped by with one day, saying she just had to buy them when she was out at the mall. you were so touched she even thought of you and your baby on her personal time. she waved your thanks with a smile, and only requested that she gets babysitting duty over the boys if need be. she said quote, “they are never trusted to be alone with a child”. you laugh and accept the deal.
you receive your due date at the next appointment, which is around january. your OB-GYN tells you your baby girl is growing accordingly and everything is going in good time!
your husband develops a habit of resting his hand on your belly all the time. sleeping, he’s the big spoon with a hand under your baby girl. reading on the couch with a hand on you. he gives your belly a kiss every time he leaves for work in the morning. (you too, of course. his lovely, beautiful wife.)
he comes into the bathroom one day while you’re at your vanity braiding your hair for the night, a pensive look on his face. 
“what is it, love?” you say, looking at him from the reflection in the mirror. he hums, twirling his wedding band.
“have you been thinking of names? it’s no rush really, i just wanted to know if the letters would fit in an engraving on my ring.” your hearts swells and you can’t help but let out a small adoring sigh. before you know it big fat tears are rolling down your face and the hormones once again got the best of you. you’re going to give your partner a heart attack with all the big emotions you’ve been feeling!
he’s already dropping to his knees to embrace you and reassure you. “darling, please don’t cry.. you’re making me sad,” “b…” hiccup! “…but you’re so-!” hiccup! “sweet..!” 
you eventually settle for a name related to new beginnings, considering your baby girl was set to be born in the first month of the new year. aurora.
you yourself also got into your nesting instincts, finding cute bookshelves and other items to be built in your online shopping cart. little did you know kento had already ordered them and was on a mission to build them before the baby girl was here.
one night, you found your precious husband asleep with a book in his hand and a notebook by his side. it was a parenting book.. your heart squeezed. you move to pick the book from his grip when you notice what he wrote in the notebook. “always remember daddy loves you my dear.” he was writing letters to your little biscuit. you had to leave your bedroom so kento wouldn’t hear your happy sobs.
after a good grueling nine months, your due date was quickly approaching. kento had requested time off, which his boss begrudgingly allowed. the man knew that it wasn’t worth it fighting with his hardest worker. you were waddling everywhere; kento thought you were positively adorable for a pregnant lady. “you’re not just my beautiful wife right now, you’re my beautiful wife carrying my daughter,” he would tell you. 
it would be one in the morning, three days before your expected due date when you would feel a large cramp in your belly. you knew your little girl had a knack for kicking and dancing, but this definitely felt different from before. you were in bed with kento, his body engulfed around yours. you flip with a wince to face him, tapping his face gently. “ken.. ken, the baby’s coming,” you manage with a small groan. your husband practically leaps out of bed when he hears the words come out of your mouth. before you could blink, he was already putting on a shirt and his glasses, rushing to get your hospital bag. “don’t worry, my love!” you know he was uber prepared for this moment. you push off the bed with much might when you feel your husband’s arms around you, holding you up right. he looked beyond worried, but his words were nothing but soothing. “iv’e got you, honey. we just need to get to the car, okay?” 
the delivery itself was also rather gruelling, you ended up in labor for the whole night. aurora nanami was born at 11:42 AM, five pounds even. 
when you heard your daughter cry for the first time, you couldn’t help but cry yourself. kento was right beside you, holding your hand as you had given birth to your child.
during skin to skin, he was looking at you and aurora in absolute awe. you gave him a small smile. “you’re so strong and amazing, do you know that?” he tells you. 
when he held aurora for the first time, you knew he was enchanted. your girl was immediately his entire world.
after staying at the hospital for the required amount of time your OB-GYN suggested, you tell kento you want to rest at home. he’s already packing the bags as those words leave your mouth.
the drive home was extremely slow because he wouldn’t drive over 15 mph, earning tons of honks and angry drivers. he couldn’t care less, he had his tired wife and newborn in tow!
several months later..
something you and kento learned very quickly was that your girl was extremely, extremely smart.
she was walking well before her age range, saying “mama” and “papa”, and even learning her numbers.
kento told you it was all your genetics, which you proudly accepted. 
also, aurora was born with a surprising amount of hair on her head! she had the same golden blonde hair as your husband, which he proudly accepted. 
“my little flower, would you like pigtails or a ponytail?” the chubby face staring back at him was in contemplation. she holds up a “two” with her fingers. kento nearly cries on the spot— she knew that pigtails meant two! “alright my love! two it is.”
you also found out your husband was learning new hairstyles in his free time, and used you as his model. “darling, aurora still has her baby hairs.. we can barely tie it as it is,” you tell him over your shoulder with a giggle. he wasn’t listening, he was too engrossed in the youtube video of fishtail braiding— the next step after he had mastered regular braids on your hair. “hush, my dear. natalie was just about to tell me where the left strand goes!” 
when her first birthday came, it was a huge celebration. kento spared no expense to make the party memorable. 
you had baked her smash cake and ordered a separate more elegant cake for guests— kento would not stop bothering you in the kitchen that morning, his hands all over you from the back while you tried to finish your work in a timely manner. your swatting did nothing to fend him off.
“ken, if you keep rubbing me like that, you’re getting a second kid.” “who said that wasn’t my goal, dear?”
the party had pretty much the same people from your baby shower, this time including some families you met at your mommy and me class at the gym. 
your baby girl was sporting a hair bow you had definitely recognized— then remember it’s the same one you saw in kento’s drawer a year ago. how cute you finally get to see it on her.
aurora was all smiles, thank god. she wasn’t a fussy baby at all in her first months, but you knew she was still a kid that could get cranky randomly. you were glad it was such a seamless and perfect day.
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once again, so grateful for you guys! <3 happy 100 rahhhh 😈
peace luv bathtub!!!
heart divider by @cafekitsune
© sozila 2024, all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other mediums or sites. cross-posted on ao3 and tumblr under same alias.
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the-boy-meets-evil · 1 day ago
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as wild and untamable as the sea | l.c (teaser)
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pairing: greek god!chan x reincarnated sea nymph!f!reader genre: angst, smut | (very minor) reincarnation, fantasy, greek gods!au rating: explicit, minors DNI (for full fic, nothing in this teaser) word count: 850 for the teaser (TBD on full fic, prob 10k+) warnings: none for the teaser (full fic: explicit smut, past unhealthy relationships, plays with greek mythology, etc) post date: november 16th (hopefully)
summary: Chan remembers everything. Every little thing that's happened to him since his days as one of the twelve olympians. Poseidon to be exact. Even though he tries not to think about it now that he's living in modern times running a sad little aquarium, some memories are more vivid than others. Then, you stumble into his life and he can't explain the draw. You can't seem to figure out how this man is keeping an aquarium like this running when it seems like it's not that busy. Something about him really seems to put you off, despite the fact that he seems drawn to you. None of it makes any sense...until you start to remember.
a/n: this is for the 13 Gods of Olympus collab that @beomcoups & @wooahaeproductions have been tirelessly working on. thank you so much for hosting this! it's been fun (even if it's a challenge) to get lost in an entirely different world.
if you want to be tagged when i post, leave a comment or join my taglist here
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Another day, another dollar. 
Wasn’t that what the humans said about another day spent working at some mindless job? Despite all the years he’s spent blending into their world, Chan still doesn’t really understand the humans. Doesn’t really understand why they put up with so many things they seemingly hate. Doesn’t really understand why they waste their short lives on something that makes them miserable. But, in fairness to the humans, Chan has also never had to worry about the trivial things that come along with working like money, possessions, or a home. When you’re one of the original gods of Olympus and life is seemingly infinite, money isn’t really an issue. 
That’s who Chan was in another lifetime: Poseidon. The God of the Sea, among other things. At least, until Olympus fell. A painful thought that he usually tries to push from his mind.
In the early days after Olympus fell, Chan still went through life acknowledging who he was. He leveraged his powers for favors or for payment. He used his control of the water and everything in it to get him what he needed. But, the years went by and the Olympians became the stuff of myth. Of stories. The kind of characters that you read about in books. Only the most eccentric members of society continue to worship the Olympians as if they’re real. Which they are, Chan reminds himself. Or, they were. As the faith faded, so did the Olympians’ belief in restoring themselves to full power. One by one, they gave up the task of finding a way back until it was only Chan and Zeus left. Two of the brightest minds of Olympus. Even they had to admit their own defeat. 
Which leads to the present day. Chan has taken on a new persona, for the…well, he’s lost track of what number this one is. He’s just thankful for his ability to shapeshift into someone new whenever he needs to. Takes a new name every time, too. At first, he tried to keep in touch with his siblings and the other Olympians. That, too, fades over time. It’s been at least a century since he’s spoken to any of them. Though, occasionally, he’ll catch wind of something through the chattering of local sea creatures. Something that says at least some of them are still out there.
Chan sighs. There’s really no reason for him to be wandering down memory lane in this way. He thinks, not for the first time, that maybe he needs to pick a different cover job. One that will keep his mind a little more occupied. The reality is, though, he’s tried nearly everything he could think of over the centuries. Changing professions is a frequent occurrence when he doesn’t want to let his body show too many signs of age. Not that he minds, it’s just that people start to ask too many questions about how he’s handling things someone “his age” shouldn’t be able to handle. In the end, working with sea life has always been the best. And this set up, where he’s running a smaller aquarium off of some long forgotten boardwalk in an area that doesn’t get much traffic, is also great. It isn’t even that Chan doesn’t like being around people. He finds humans entertaining in most senses. It’s just that nothing in this life is permanent for him. He’s not going to fall in love and grow old with someone. Best to just keep things at arm’s length. 
Most days are more or less the same and Chan works the majority of them. On the rare days off, he’s not far away since his little house is within walking distance of both the aquarium, the boardwalk it’s on, and the water. He trusts the limited staff that he has because he pays them well. Better than any other similar business, but he values loyalty. And they don’t seem to question how he’s able to make things work. That is largely due to the anonymous donors that make monthly contributions to the aquarium. Really, it’s just Chan funneling money that he’s earned over his many years on Earth so that he can keep a business afloat. Nobody seems to have anything to say. Beyond the staff not asking questions, they are all very good at their jobs. It makes life easier for Chan that way because he doesn’t have to micromanage them. Everyone knows what they’re supposed to do and will only ask questions if they hit an actual block. No, the aquarium runs very smoothly. It just doesn’t get a lot of business.
Since every day kind of blends together, Chan almost never realizes as days or weeks or even months pass by. He’s in a sort of autopilot where he also knows what he has to do and just does it without question. It’s just rinse and repeat day in and day out. 
Until it’s not. Until the first day that he notices you in his small, out of the way little aquarium. Until the day that everything starts to change.
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secretswiftymarvelfan · 2 days ago
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Between the Lines - Professor!Ari Levinson x Librarian!Reader
A/N: Massive shout out to @precious1610 who essentially was my co-author for this oneshot, you came up with some brilliant lines and ideas for this and I can't thank you enough! 
Word Count: 6.3k
Warnings: Fluff! Professor Ari (he needs a warning because damn)! Sexual Harassment and Assult (not by Ari!)! Language! SMUT! 18+ ONLY! Minors DNI!
Dividers by @firefly-graphics​
Masterlist
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Between the Lines
You always looked forward to the new academic year. After weeks of the campus being quiet with only researching staff around, the liveliness of the new and returning cohorts of students always brought the campus back to life.
Another reason you enjoyed the new academic year was that Professor Levinson would be back. He often spent most of his summer in various different countries volunteering at refugee camps, providing aid during humanitarian crises. 
You’d look forward to the stories of his days off, the people he’d met and the landmarks he'd seen. He’d often bring back a little souvenir for you too, last time it was a pair of velvet slippers because ‘the library can get cold’ he said.
You missed him dearly over the summer break, which was somewhat ridiculous because he was just the professor that you had a helpless crush on. At least the gifts he brought you said he thought of you at least for just a moment while he was away.
Even if it was a hopeless crush that didn’t stop you from putting in a bit more effort on Thursdays. The day he’d always come in after lunchtime to return any books and take out more for the next week's lectures.
You were sat at your desk, scanning through the returned books when he finally walked in. You couldn’t help but smile when he walked over, he looked incredible in his blue sweater and brown suit. The look completed with a pair of glasses which were a recent addition over the last year. It was no surprise almost every girl on campus had a thing for him. His international politics class was one of the most popular.
“Hi, did you have a nice summer?” He asked as he reached your desk.
“Very good, how was yours?” You smiled up at him.
“Rewarding” he smiled before nodding down to your book “How many of those did you read?” 
You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks “Lots” you admitted with a bashful smile “lots of free time during the summer break, while you were travelling the world I was travelling the universe” 
Ari gave you a lopsided smile “Sounds incredible, speaking of travelling” he reached into his pocket “I got you a little something” he held out a tiny pouch.
“Professor Levinson you didn’t have to”  your voice soft as you took the small pouch.
“I’ve told you many times to call me Ari” he reminded you “and I wanted to”
You smiled as you opened up the pouch and gently tipped out its contents, a small silver token falling out into your palm.
“It’s a medallion that wards off evil” Ari explained as he leaned against your desk with a lopsided smile. 
“It’s incredible, there’s so much detail” you muttered in amazement, admiring the small medallion. 
“I thought you could use it to ward off people who talk too loud or eat loud snacks” Ari smirked making you chuckle.
“I love it thank you” You smiled, if you could you’d get up and cup his cheek and kiss him, you’d just have to settle with your imagination. 
“It’s nothing, anything for my favourite librarian” he winked “Need a hand putting any of these away?” he nodded over to the large collection of returned books.
“I think a few of these are top-shelf books,” you said pointing to the trolley to which you had been adding books too. 
“On it” Ari smiled, moving to grab the trolley.
“Thank you Ari” you said as you got up to follow him.
“Do you not trust me to put them back in the right places?” he smirked over his shoulder at you as you both walked through the bookcases.
“no…I trust you” you said slowly.
Ari snorted “That means no” he chuckled “After all the times I’ve helped you do this, you’d think you’d trust me by now” 
“I do trust you” you laughed “I just…” you trailed off trying to find a reason you could actually say out loud. In truth, you just wanted to make the most of any time together.
“You’re just protective of your library, I get it” Ari smiled reassuringly as he lifted a heavy book onto the top shelf. 
“Yes… protective” you muttered unable to take your eyes off his biceps, even underneath the suit you could see how impressive they were. 
Ari smiled back at you breaking you from your trance. You cleared your throat before grabbing a book from the trolley and turning to put it away, subtly fanning yourself as you did so.
For the next half an hour Ari helped you put the books back on the shelves, he even reorganised an entire shelf when you complained that it was all out of order. You were just walking back to the desk when Ari paused and turned to face you.
“What are you doing Saturday afternoon?” He asked.
“Oh um, nothing I think” you stuttered trying to recall if you had any plans, which was pretty pointless because you rarely did.
“How about we go grab coffee?” He suggested a lopsided smile on his face.
“What like a-“ you squeaked blinking in surprise.
Ari grinned “Yes like a date” he finished for you.
You couldn’t stop stuttering, your mind short-circuiting as you tried to comprehend what was happening. 
“Did a book fall on my head” you muttered to yourself, only realising you’d done so when Ari barked out a loud laugh “Shhh” you chastised on instinct.
Ari covered his mouth with his hand, delight clear in his eyes as he continued to laugh but quietly this time. You covered your face with your hands feeling utterly embarrassed at your outburst.
“Oh god,” you groaned quietly.
Ari chuckled as he wrapped his hands around your wrists and pulled your hands from your face, his smile widening when he saw you were pouting. He shifted his hold on your wrists so he was holding your hands, his thumbs stroking your palms.
“No you haven’t hit your head, this is really happening,” he said softly “is that really so hard to believe?”
You quietly scoffed “Yes, I mean you’re you and I’m me” you admitted shaking your head.
“I’ll let you in on a secret,” he said before leaning in to whisper “If you weren’t you, I wouldn’t be asking you out”
“Ari” you whispered in disbelief.
“And if you’ll join me for coffee I’ll tell you all the other reasons I’ve wanted to ask you out” he grinned.
You smiled bashfully, looking down at the floor “If I say yes, will you tell me one of the reasons now?” You asked looking back up at him.
Ari smirked “That pencil skirt and those knee-high boots to start” he said nodding down to your boots “So is that a yes?”
“It’s a yes” you grinned.
“Great” he smiled leaning in to kiss your cheek “I have to go teach now but I’ll see you Saturday”
“See you Saturday” you smiled watching him go.
You were frozen to the spot for a few moments still not entirely convinced that he’d actually asked you out and your crush wasn’t so hopeless. You eventually managed to get back to your desk, a smile on your face as you got back to work.
It was about an hour later when a shadow covered you. You were excited thinking that Ari had come back to talk to you again after his lecture but your smile faltered when you saw who it was.
“Hey sunshine,” Coach Hansen said as he leaned against the desk, lollipop in his mouth “How was your summer?”
“Nice,” you said forcing a smile “How about you Coach Hansen?” You asked to be polite.
“Call my Lloyd” he grinned “great, looking forward to the season, you’ll come and watch the games right? You can be my good luck charm” he winked.
You tried your hardest not to shudder in disgust “Oh um I’m not sure I’ll have to check my diary, I think I’m usually busy on game days” you lied.
“I’m sure I could convince you to find the time” he grinned leaning in closer.
You laughed awkwardly as you pushed your chair back and stood up to try and put some distance between the two of you “Guess we’ll see” you chuckled “Um do excuse me but I have some repairs to do in the office, you’d think college students would know how to treat books” you said stepping away “see you around” you added as you slipped into your office, shut and locked the door behind you. 
You leaned against the door and let out the shudder that you had been holding in. Coach Hansen was the most disgusting man you’d ever met, Assistant Coach Pete Brennan coming in a close second. You’d heard rumours that Hansen had slept with multiple cheerleaders throughout the years. Why some of the most popular girls would sleep with him was beyond you. 
You grabbed the hand sanitiser that was on your desk, squeezing a decent amount onto your hands. Lloyd hadn’t touched you but it made you feel cleaner. Just an encounter with Lloyd made you feel gross.
You sat down at your desk with a heavy sigh, it had been a rollercoaster of a day. But on the plus side, you had a date with Ari. The thought of that alone was enough to bring a smile back to your face. You had to think about what to wear, something that went well with your boots you thought.
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It had been a couple of weeks since his date with you and Ari felt incredible. He hadn’t realised his feelings for you until the summer. He’d been walking through the market with one of his volunteer friends, Sam, he’d just found the small medallion when Sam snorted and shook his head.
“For your librarian friend?” Sam had chuckled.
“She would love it” Ari explained as he paid for it.
“Have you asked her out yet?” Sam asked as they walked to the next stall.
Ari frowned “No, she’s a friend” he’d said even if it felt wrong to call you just a friend.
Sam had laughed and shook his head “Who knew a college professor could be so stupid” he said as he walked away leaving Ari dumbfounded.
For the rest of the day, Ari had replayed that conversation before he finally came to the realisation that he had feelings for you. That he’d had feelings for you for a while now. If he wasn’t halfway across the world he would have gone straight to you and asked you out.
He was so glad you’d said yes, he’d found it so adorable how flustered you got. You were a little flustered on the date but Ari made sure to put you at ease and soon enough the side he absolutely loved about you. The sweet and a little cheeky side. 
His favourite part was when you both left the coffee shop. It had been unseasonably cold for a September afternoon and he could see you shivering. So he took off the blue jacket he wore and draped it over your shoulders. You smiled up at him, the jacket almost swallowing you up as you wrapped it around yourself more. It was the cutest sight ever.
He now found any opportunity to visit you in the library. When he walked in you weren’t at the front desk, he checked your office but you weren’t in there either. He noticed that the book return trolley was missing meaning you were out putting books back on shelves.
He started walking through the library trying to find you. He eventually found you in a far corner, his blood boiling at the sight. You had your back pressed against the bookcase as the sleazeball Coach Hansen crowded against you. Ari couldn’t instantly see how uncomfortable you were even though you were forcing a smile.
He cleared his throat loudly to interrupt. Lloyd looked over and rose to his full height allowing you to sidestep away from him.
“Professor Levinson” Lloyd greeted him with a lopsided smirk.
“Coach Hansen, are you lost? The picture books are at the public library across town, I think they have sticker books too” Ari said as he walked over, fists clenched down by his sides, he then turned his attention to you “Are the books I requested ready to collect, I need them for my lecture in half an hour” he didn’t have any more lectures today, he knew you’d know that and hopefully took the out he was giving you.
You blinked a couple of times “Oh, not quite I’ll um go get the last of them now” you muttered before shuffling past him and back towards the front desk.
“I think you have somewhere else to be don’t you Coach Hansen?” He asked turning his attention back to the sleaze ball.
Lloyd ran his tongue over his teeth as he studied Ari “Somewhere more interesting that’s for sure” he said before turning and leaving.
Ari followed behind him just to make sure that Lloyd actually left the library. You weren’t at the front desk but he spotted you peaking through the blinds in your office. 
Once he was satisfied that Lloyd had gone he walked over to the office door and gently rapped his knuckles against the wood. He pushed the door open slowly when he heard you answer. He found you perched on the edge of your desk rubbing your hands, the faint smell of hand sanitiser lingering in the air.
He closed the distance between you, his hand moving to brush hair out of your face and cup your cheek but he stopped himself short. You might not want anyone to touch you right now.
“Hey, are you okay?” He asked softly.
You took in a deep breath before nodding as you breathed back out “Fine, just feel a little grossed out, nothing out of the ordinary” you admitted.
Ari’s brows furrowed “This has happened before?”
You gave him a weak shrug of your shoulders “Kinda, usually, I’m at the front desk so I have that barrier” you said gesturing in front of you “Today was the first time he’s found me between the cases” 
Ari shook his head in disbelief “Why didn’t you say? Why didn’t you tell him to back off?”
You scoffed and stepped away from him, crossing your arms as you moved to the far corner of the office. When you turned back to face him you hit him with a hard look.
“Seriously? That’s the worst thing I could do with a man like him, you think he’ll take my no as an answer?” You scoffed “The safest thing I can do is be nice and polite and hope to god that nothing happens, that he gets bored and moves on” you exclaimed gesturing with a clenched fist towards the door “And if he doesn’t I just have to pray that I can find not only the ability to fight back but win… and I know it’s wrong but that’s just reality!”
Silence fell in the room. Ari stood there and watched as you breathed heavily. He’d fucked up and he knew that, even if part of him was pretty impressed at how you put him in his place.
“You’re right, I’m sorry” he apologised holding his hands up in surrender as he took a couple of steps closer “That was very male of me to say that” he added with the smallest of smirks.
You pursed your lips before letting out a small chuckle “Yes it was” 
Ari smiled softly as he walked closer to you again “I’m sorry, I’m sorry this is the reality you have to live in” he said before his brows furrowed in concern “You’ve never felt like that with me have you?”
You quickly shook your head, stepping closer to close the distance your hands resting on his biceps “No, god no” you told him “You’ve never made me uncomfortable”
“Good, and if I ever do just put me back in my place like you just did” he smirked.
You bit your lower lip “I’m sorry” you said with a slight wince.
“No don’t apologise, it was actually kinda sexy” Ari whispered as he leant in
Your smile turned bashful as you looked up at him. He smiled back down at you as he moved to cup your cheeks with both hands, his thumb gently stroking the apples of your cheeks. Your head tilted into his touch, your eyes shining as you looked up at him.
“How do you feel now?” he asked softly.
“Much better thank you”
“Good, and I promise nothing like that is gonna happen again, I’ll make sure of it” he swore “I’ll be here when you finish tonight to walk you to your car and text me if he comes back before then”
“Okay I will, thank you Ari,” you said with a grateful sigh.
“It's nothing, sweetheart” he smiled before leaning down to capture your lips in his. 
He started gently just to make sure you were okay with it but as soon he felt you melt into his touch he let go of his restraint and deepened the kiss. From the moment he finally got to kiss you on your first coffee date he knew he was a goner. With every kiss since, every time he got to hold you, be close with you he fell harder and deeper for you.
If he could, he’d stay here with you forever but he had something he needed to do “I have office hours soon so I need to head off” he said softly as he rested his forehead against yours. 
“That’s okay, I’ll see you later” you smiled, running your hands over his biceps.
“See you later” he smiled, pecking your lips once more before making his way out of your office.
When he stepped out of the library instead of turning towards his building, he turned in the opposite direction. Towards the football field and training facilities. He found Lloyd in his office talking to his assistant coach, Pete Brenner, lollipop in his mouth as he chuckled. 
“Professor Levinson” Lloyd smirked when Ari walked in “Are you a little lost?” he asked with a condescending tone, throwing Ari’s words back at him. 
Ari instantly saw red. He surged forward, pinning Lloyd to the nearest wall, fist gripping the mustard polo collar Hansen wore. 
“What the shit!” Pete exclaimed, shooting up from his seat, while Lloyd just laughed.
“Sit” Ari hissed over his shoulder at Pete who instantly did what he said like an obedient dog.
“It’s cool Brenner” Lloyd smirked “Let him have his moment”
Ari growled in response, shoving him back against the wall again “Don’t push me”
Lloyds just laughed “Oh c’mon pumpkin,” he said shaking his head “What are you gonna do? Strangle me with boredom? Talk me to death? You academic lot are so funny” he tilted his head with a condescending look. 
“You go near her again and you’ll find out exactly what I can do to you” Ari warned.
“Aw, you got a little crush on my little librarian?” Lloyd grinned. 
Ari shifted his grip, his fingers wrapping around Lloyd's throat. Lloyd only looked more excited, a wolfish grin growing.
“She’s not your property and never will be” Ari said, squeezing his grip slightly for good measure. 
Lloyd didn’t say anything for a moment, his eyes studying Ari “Warning taken” he finally said. 
Ari wasn’t entirely convinced but took a couple of steps back, letting go of Lloyd. Lloyd shrugged and straightened out his polo before regarding Ari with a look.
“What are you still doing here?” he asked “trying to cause more of a scene? I don’t think Y/N would like that”
Ari clenched his fists and resisted the urge to punch Lloyd right there and then but the sick bastard was right. If you knew Ari had caused this scene you would hate it. You probably wouldn’t want to see him anymore and he’d lose the best thing he’s ever had.
“Stay away from her” he reiterated harshly, pointing over to Lloyd who held his hands up in surrender a smirk playing on his lips. 
Ari turned, shooting a glare at Pete who shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He stormed out of the office, the door slamming so hard that it rattled behind him. 
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The past couple of months had been the best of your life and it was all thanks to Ari. As the weather got colder you got excited to celebrate the holiday season with him. You’d already had a lot of fun with him at Halloween and Thanksgiving, he’d dressed up as Indiana Jones and you went as Marion. He looked incredible as Indy, you really had to try hard to keep your hands to yourself at the faculty party. You did have a lot of fun with the whip afterwards though. 
Much to your relief too, Lloyd had kept away from the library and you. That short interaction between him and Ari in the library had clearly sent enough of a message that you were taken. 
Ari had been the sweetest too, he’d meet you whenever you finished work to walk you to your car or pick you up to take you back to his place. He visited the library more and helped out whenever he could. You joked that you should get him an assistant librarian badge. 
It was Friday evening and you were working late. A large delivery had arrived ready for the new semester in January and you wanted to get them all sorted before the Christmas break. Ari had agreed to help out, bringing snacks and keeping you company. 
It was taking a little longer than you expected because you kept getting distracted by Ari. he was wearing a deep green button-up sweater which hugged his arms deliciously, especially when pushed the sleeves up to his elbows. 
He’d definitely caught you checking him out if the smirk on his lips was anything to go by. But when he’d lift heavy books up onto the top shelves you couldn’t help but stare, you were only human after all. 
You shook your head to try and clear it so you could focus on the job at hand. You turned away from him and crouched down to put away some books on the lower shelves. When you stood back up you were surprised to find Ari stood behind you, his hands resting on your hips. 
“Ari” you muttered as you looked over your shoulder at him. 
“Y/N” he smirked as he pressed a kiss to your neck, pulling your hips back so you could feel that it wasn’t just you who was getting distracted. 
“Ari” you sighed as you melted back onto him “We can’t, not here” you muttered as he continued to kiss your neck, one hand moving up to your breast. 
“Sure we can” he murmured “It's late, no one else is here” 
You could feel your resolve weakening “We should at least go to my office then” you suggested. 
“No we don’t” he smirked as his other hand moved from your hip to your covered core, tugging you back towards him “This sort of thing is in the books you read and I know how much you love them”
You blinked a couple of times in surprise as you turned around to face him “How did you know that?” 
Ari gives you a lopsided grin “I’ve read them” he answered.
“You read them” you repeated in disbelief. 
“Of course, they’re something you love” he explained with a casual shrug of his shoulders “I want to know as much as I can about you… get some ideas… make sure you’re satisfied” he smirked. 
“Ari,” you said softly, shaking your head in disbelief, you couldn’t believe how incredible he was. 
“So what do you say?” he smirked, “are you gonna let me worship you in your temple?”
You nibbled your lower lip and nodded, you could never say no to him. 
“Good, now make sure you stay quiet” he smirked as he sunk down to his knees “We are in a library after all” 
You let out a shuddered breath of anticipation when his hands slipped under your skirt to pull down your underwear. Once he tucked them into his back pocket his hand wrapped around the back of your knee and lifted it. He pressed a kiss to the exposed skin just above your knee-high boots. He hooked your leg over his shoulder as he pressed kisses up your thighs, his head disappearing underneath your skirt.
You cupped a hand over your mouth to silence yourself when his lips finally found your core, his quiet moan vibrating against you when he discovered how wet you were for him already. Your other hand found the back of his head, your fingers weaving through his long, soft locks. 
His beard scratched against your thighs as he feasted. He knew your body so well now that not even the perfect world of fiction could compare. He made your legs so weak that if he wasn’t propping you up, you’d be on the floor.
The feeling of him between your legs was like heaven, especially when he’d tease your clit. You wanted to stay in this moment forever, you also wanted him inside you, and you wanted to reach your peak. 
“Ari” you whimpered, your fingers gripping his hair tightly.
You felt him smirk against you before diving back in. Except this time his lips wrapped around your clit and he slipped two thick fingers inside you. You had to bite your fist to stop yourself from screaming, especially when his fingers curled against that golden spot and fireworks exploded as you hit your peak.
Ari worked you through the waves of your orgasm, prolonging to the point that the entire world melted away. You hadn’t even noticed him rising to his full height until he cupped your cheeks and kissed you deeply, the taste of you on his lips. 
“You’re doing so well keeping quiet” he murmured against your lips.
The kiss brought you back to life, energy surging through like electricity. Your hands quickly found his belt buckle and pushed down his deep green trousers enough to free him. You wrapped your fingers around him and pumped him a couple of times. Just the weight and feel of him in your hands made your core ache for him.
It was like Ari had read your mind because he hooked his hands under your thighs at the same time that you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to climb him like a tree. You buried your face into the crook of his neck to muffle your moan when he entered you.
Neither of you moved once he was fully seated inside you. You only breathed deeply as you took in the feeling of him filling you up completely. It was a feeling you never wanted to get used to and one you hoped you’d always have. 
Soon enough you felt the overwhelming urge for movement, you turned your head to press kisses to his neck just below the ear “Move” you whispered pleadingly.
Ari chuckled softly “Anything for you” he said before thrusting up into you.
He started slowly but soon worked up to a fiercer pace. You clung onto him tightly, rolling your hips to meet his. You bit your lower lip to hold back your loud moan but you couldn’t stop the small gasps that escaped. It would be impossible for anyone to be silent when with Ari.
Your head tilted back against the bookcase, which Ari took advantage of as he pressed wet kisses to your neck and collarbone. You felt and heard books tumble to the floor but you didn’t care, you couldn’t care about anything except how great you felt.
You could feel your orgasm building and before you could even say anything it crashed over you and you couldn’t even think let alone speak. It felt like you ascended to a whole new plane of existence, Ari joining you shortly after as he hit his own peak.
Ari held you close as you came down from your mind-blowing high. His large hand cradled the back of your head as you nuzzled your head back into the crook of his neck.
“Can you stand?” Ari asked softly after a few moments.
You nodded “I think so” you muttered, still catching your breath.
Ari gave you a lopsided smile before pressing a soft kiss to your lips. He held onto you as he pulled out of you, a whimper falling from your lips at the emptiness. You leant back against the bookcase, feeling his spend slowly spreading down your thighs. 
You watched as Ari picked up the fallen books with his clean hand and returned them to the nearby trolley to be reorganised later. When he returned to you he slipped his other hand back under your skirt. He smirked down at you as he collected the combined juices of your and his release, spreading it back up to your core.
“Let’s get you back to your office to get cleaned up” he murmured as he kissed you.
A couple of hours later you and Ari called it a night. There were still lots of books to sort through but you were both tired and just wanted to head back to his place to relax.
You were walking into the parking lot when Ari paused and cursed under his breath “I forgot to grab something from my office” he muttered glancing over his shoulder in the direction of his building.
“That’s fine,” you said wrapping your jacket around your tighter, it was a pretty cold December night, as you turned to go with him.
“It’s fine, you go get in the car,” he said passing you the keys “Get the heater going and lock the doors, I won’t be long” he promised.
“Okay see you in a second” you said as you started to make your way towards the car. Ari jogged off in the opposite direction towards his office.
Ari had parked under a street lamp but it was barely working. Flicking on and off periodically. You weren’t worried about it though, Ari had already seen to the campus sleaze.
You reached the car with no problem but as you reached for the handle you heard someone and your blood ran cold.
“Hey sugarplum what you doing out so late?” Lloyd said.
You quickly turned around to find him stood much closer than you thought. It was like he materialised out of the shadows and just the mere thought of him had summoned him like a demon.
“Large delivery, but heading home now,” you said gesturing to the car behind you.
“So soon? I’ve not seen you around in a while, maybe we should catch up” he smiled as he closed the distance between you, backing you against the car.
“Oh um well it’s late, uh maybe another time? I’m pretty tired” you stuttered as you leaned back to create some distance.
An evil smirk grew on his face “Tired or bored? I bet you’re bored to tears hanging out with that dull professor” he said “but don’t you worry, I can show you a good time”
His hands gripped your hips and you stopped breathing. Ari had kept hold of your underwear after cleaning you up, it was something that excited you at the time but now you regretted it. You didn’t want to think what Lloyd would do if he discovered you weren’t wearing underwear.
“Oh no thanks, I’m very happy as I am,” you said, your voice wobbling.
Lloyd smirked as he leant in to whisper in your ear “I don’t think that’s true”
Your entire body froze, eyes screwed shut when he pressed a disgustingly wet kiss below your ear. You whimpered but he just took that as a sign to carry on. He gripped you tighter, forcing his growing bulge against your stomach and kept kissing your neck.
“You like that now don’t-“ he started but he didn’t finish as suddenly he was gone.
You opened your eyes to discover Lloyd on the floor, Ari stood between the two of you “I told you to stay away” Ari growled, his fists clenched down by his sides.
Lloyd just laughed as he pushed himself to his feet “Please, she doesn’t want you, she wants me even if she doesn’t know it yet, I can read between the lines” he said before glancing around Ari to look at you “isn’t that right sugarplum?”
Ari snapped and surged forward, his fist connecting with Lloyd’s jaw. Lloyd stumbled back, the smirk disappearing and replaced by fury as Lloyd swung back and punched Ari.
You gasped in shock, hands covering your mouth as the two men brawled in front of you. It was a blur of punches and for a moment you couldn’t work out who was winning. This was a side of Ari you had never seen before. To your relief Ari got the upper hand, landing a hard punch to the side of Lloyd’s head causing him to stumble. Ari took advantage of his disorientation and grabbed his shoulders and threw him to the floor, pinning him down and shoving Lloyd’s face into the asphalt. 
At that exact moment campus security finally appeared and rushed over “What’s going on here?” One of them demanded.
“Coach Hansen was sexually assaulting Miss Y/L/N“ Ari said keeping Lloyd pinned down even though he wasn’t fighting anymore.
“Is that correct miss?” The security guard said, you tore your eyes away from Ari and Lloyd and looked over to the guards, barely being able to bring yourself to nod in response “Okay, we’ll take it from here” he said. 
Ari finally climbed off of Lloyd to let the security cuff him and pull him to his feet. You gasped quietly when you saw just how beaten and bloodied he was, how much Ari had beaten the crap out of him.
“Would you like us to report this to the police on your behalf?” The other guard asked you.
“I uh yes please” you muttered weakly.
“We’ll be in my office when they arrive” Ari told them before finally turning to face you.
Your heart stopped for a moment when you saw his split lip and brow. He didn’t look as bad as Lloyd but it was still difficult to see.
“Let’s go sweetheart” he said softly as he wrapped his arm around you to guide you away from Lloyd and to his office.
The entire walk to your office all you could hear was buzzing in your ears, your entire body felt numb. You hadn’t even realised you were in his office until he sat you down in his brown leather office chair. You blinked a couple of times and looked over at him as grabbed a first aid box from the far corner.
The sudden urge to take care of him took precedence over how you were feeling “Let me” you said standing up and taking the kit from him.
“Sweetheart-“ Ari protested.
“Ari please” you pleaded.
You needed this right now, you needed to look after him, you needed the distraction.
“Okay” he relented softly, he moved to perch on the edge of his desk.
You grabbed what you needed before standing in between his legs to clean up his cuts. He didn’t even wince as you did so, he just looked defeated as he watched you work. 
“Are you okay?” He asked quietly drawing your eyes to his.
You took a deep breath “I don’t know” you admitted. 
Ari sighed “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- I just saw him crowding you and I-I snapped” he apologised.
“No, don’t apologise I’m glad you did that, if you hadn’t been there I…” you trailed off, you didn’t need to think too hard about what would have happened.
“It’s my fault I shouldn’t have left you alone, I should have known that he wouldn’t have left you alone after I-“ he said before silencing himself.
“After you what?” You asked, brows furrowing.
“Threatened him and told him to stay away” he sighed dropping his head.
“Ari” you muttered in disbelief.
“I know it’s stupid I know but after I caught him in the library and saw how upset it made you I knew I had to say and do something,” he said shaking his head “Nobody gets away with making the people I love uncom-“
“Love?” You interrupted, your jaw dropping in shock.
The corners of his lips twitch upwards “Yeah” he said softly “it may have taken me far too long to realise my feelings for you but once I did I fell hard. I love you Y/N”
You let out a watery chuckle and smiled at him “I love you too” you said pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.
Ari smiled into the kiss as he cupped the back of your head to keep you there “How do you feel now?” He asked after a moment.
“Better” you smiled softly “I know I probably haven’t processed what happened yet and I don’t know how I’ll feel when I do” you sighed “but I know I have you so that doesn’t scare me”
“Good, and I’ll be right there beside you I won’t let anything like this happen again” Ari promised as he cupped your cheeks.
“Thank you Ari” you smiled.
“Anything for you sweetheart” he smiled before kissing you deeply once more. 
The feeling of his protection enveloped you. You knew that difficult days were ahead of you but with Ari by your side, you knew you could not only face it, but survive it.
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bonecarversbestie · 2 days ago
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An Ode to Spring
After a conversation with some friends I was inspired to write a fairytale style story about Tamlin drinking from the pool of starlight in an attempt to be happy again after Feyre left. I also drew this picture. ~1000 words Read on AO3 or below the cut
Once upon a time, in a Land of Eternal Spring, a Faerie prince was born to a cold and ruthless King and a kind and caring Queen. The prince’s name was Tamlin.
The King raised Tamlin with a firm hand, showing him the ways of the Seven Kingdoms and teaching him to rule the land of Spring without mercy. 
But Tamlin had little interest in ruling. He had a gentle heart like his mother’s, and he was drawn not to the throne room but to the fields and forests beyond it. 
He spent his days roaming the lands around the castle, writing poetry, and playing his fiddle for the birds in the trees and the mice in the fields. 
One day, Tamlin came across an enchanted pool buried deep in the forest. It was filled not with water but with liquid starlight.
He had heard stories of such a pool since he was a boy. The legends claimed that anyone who drank from the starlight waters would be happy until his last breath. But Tamlin never imbibed, choosing instead to save the magic for someone who truly needed it.
Years later, an Evil Prince from a kingdom of darkness came in the night and killed the King and Queen, forcing Tamlin to set aside his fiddle in favor of a crown that he never wanted.
Tamlin cared deeply for his people and longed to forge a new path for himself and his kingdom, but he felt trapped by the centuries of strict laws and traditions that remained from his father’s reign.
One day, an Evil Sorceress declared herself High Queen over the Seven Kingdoms.  The Sorceress Queen coveted Tamlin, but he resisted her advances, much to her displeasure. 
As punishment for his defiance, the Queen placed a curse over the Kingdoms, which only Tamlin could break by finding a human maiden with hatred in her heart for Faeries and winning her love.
For nearly fifty years, Tamlin sent his men into the Human Lands to find the Maiden, and for nearly fifty years, he was unsuccessful. Many of his men did not return, and when he ran out of soldiers, he was forced to send his friends. Soon only one remained—his most trusted courtier and emissary, Lucien, who entered Tamlin’s study bearing grave news.
 “Andras,” Lucien said, hands trembling, “is dead.” 
He had been killed by a human Maiden. 
Though Tamlin mourned his friend, Andras, he knew this Maiden was his last chance to break the curse, so he brought her to his home. The Maiden was sullen and starving, so Tamlin gave her food and fine clothes and her own room in his castle. When The Maiden said she wished to paint, Tamlin gifted her the castle’s art gallery. 
He watched as painting started to bring joy to the Maiden’s life. Her passion inspired him, stirring his long-forgotten love of music and poetry.
Tamlin found that he was falling in love with The Maiden, but as his love grew, so did his fear. He knew that to break the curse would put The Maiden’s life at great risk. And so, to save his love, he sent The Maiden away.
But the Maiden was very brave. She returned to the Faerie Lands, defeated the Sorceress Queen, and saved the Seven Kingdoms. 
Tamlin, grateful for all The Maiden had done, asked her to marry him. But she was in love with another—the Prince of Darkness, now a King and Tamlin’s sworn enemy. To add insult to injury, The Maiden took Tamlin’s last remaining friend, Lucien, with her when she left.
Though he still loved her, Tamlin could see that The Maiden was happier in her new kingdom, and let her go.
And so, Tamlin was utterly alone. His cries of anguish made the trees and mountains tremble. In his despair, he tore his castle apart, destroying books and artwork, finally smashing his beloved fiddle to pieces before leaving his home for good.
He transformed into a great golden beast and abandoned his throne, haunting his lands until they fell to ruin.
One night, he came upon the Pool of Starlight, still shimmering brightly amidst the decay. Overcome by sorrow and desperate to be happy once more, Tamlin bent his great golden head and drank from the pool. 
Warmth and comfort filled him, and he returned to his lands, renewed. But the euphoria was short-lived, and the next day, he returned to the Pool and drank from its waters again. 
For an entire year, Tamlin returned to the Pool, drinking more deeply each day, until one morning he arrived to find it empty. He had drunk it dry, and still he was not happy.
Tamlin climbed into the empty Pool, curled up at the bottom, and cried. And as he wept, his tears filled the pool with starlight once more.
As Tamlin lay in the depths of the Pool, hoping to drown, strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him from the water. Tamlin blinked at his savior, who was shining like the sun. It was Lucien, come home at last, and his presence filled Tamlin with joy. Lucien had not forsaken him. 
From behind his back, Lucien brought forth a brand new fiddle, offering it to Tamlin as a symbol of their friendship and a reminder to follow his heart.
Tamlin reached for the fiddle, and in that moment, he saw his own hand—not the golden paw of a beast, but the hand of a man.  He took the fiddle and began to play. 
It was a joyful tune of new beginnings. The birds in the trees sang, and the mice in the field danced as Tamlin walked through his lands, filling them with music once more.
After some time, the Land of Eternal Spring became a haven for artists and lost souls, ruled by Tamlin, the wandering king who had found peace. And they all lived happily until their last breaths.
The End
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moss-and-mirth · 5 hours ago
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Feral
I've heard the term "going feral" tossed around a lot to describe lee moods. You'll never catch me denying the accuracy. However, let me tell you a lil story about the hottest instances of feral that I, as a lee leaning switch, have been blessed to experience.
tw: for a little bit of CNC technically (cos this was NOT preplanned)
So I had a friend who was a Ler, and an incredibly mean Ler at that. One day, they decided they wanted to try switching. Just to see. They were actually nervous about it, but had been curious for years. Absolutely fine. Adorable even.
So I put them in the cuffs, and treated them like I would anyone who was just trying it for the first time. Went nice and slow, exploring, making them jump. giggle. blush. jump again. gasp. Figuring out pretty quickly what the worst spots are.
About 10 minutes of this sensual light tickling and they were bouncing between laughing and apologizing for everything they'd ever done to me. It was delightful teasing them, reminding them of all the really meeeaaan things they did to me over the years.
"Remember when you straddled me and tortured me non stop on my armpits til I cried? Wouldn't be just so fair to do that to you now?" then I climbed up top and just waited. The begging started.
And I just kept tickling slowly, softly, teasing. literally driving them mad with anticipation, thinking at any moment I was going to attack them. Barely touching them. It went on like this for so long. Til they were just a flushed, breathless giggling mess, begging me to stop fucking with them, promising me the world.
So I teased, and I teased, and I teased. I would linger in one spot and remind them of every way they tickled me there. Asked them how much mercy they showed me. Watched them get so visibly turned on until they were begging me for something completely different. I told them the same thing they would tell me.
"no."
The next thing you know, the cuffs snapped off the straps. Half a second to be flipped over onto the bed and pinned.
"Enough." First time I'd heard an actual human growl.
Suddenly the smut I read in books made a lot of sense.
Feral.
We actually fought a bit, but they were always able to over power me anyways, and the speed at which they got the cuffs on me and back into the straps could be studied by science.
That was the worst wrecking I ever got, and one of the best sessions I ever had.
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literaryvein-reblogs · 7 hours ago
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I want to write a child's first word can ypu help me with the reactions
Here are some previous posts I have related to this:
Children's Dialogue
Speech Development
Grammar Development
Speech & Language Milestones
Speech & Hearing Milestones
On Children
I'm not sure I fully understood the request, though. Did you mean reactions of parents or the people around them (as opposed to the child) when the child says their first word? If so, I think in writing that scene, you could follow some advice that most editors and authors give, like:
Base the scene on your observations. What were reactions you personal saw when a child uttered their first word? What was your reaction? What were the child's reaction? (Typically, the child would imitate the reaction of others in the room).
If you don't have that personal experience yet, it's advised to look at literature. Read the specific scenes when children said their first word. This could be from books, screenplays, anecdotal evidence in research papers etc. We could learn a lot from how other authors have described/written about it.
Make your observations and take notes from other media (films, TV shows, documentaries, home videos etc.).
Ask people. Conduct interviews. Especially with parents or primary caregivers. What were their observations? How did they personally feel? How did they react?
Here's an excerpt from a blog I found, detailing how they remember their children's first words:
Cameron – His first documented word was duck. I remember it came out of his love for taking baths. There was a little duck toy that he played with. It also seems to me ducks were well represented in our books at the time. Regardless, this is the word he chose to say and use frequently. Melia – Her first documented word was banana (pronounced nana). This girl had a love of food. Still does. I would attribute that love to her nasty bout with reflux the first year of her life. She was constantly eating because the moment she stopped, her reflux got ugly. Sienna – She has only clearly spoken one word so far. Her first documented word is nice. What a strange choice, right? Well, this first word was born from her mean. She loves to give you a kiss and then smack you across the face. It is quite funny…right now. However, through us trying to teach her to “be nice”, she has picked up her first word. She says it all the time when touching something or as the dog enters the room.
Anecdotes like this, you could use as reference. Hope this helps with your writing!
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jackoshadows · 1 day ago
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Brandon Sanderson on why TV adaptations of fantasy works end up being so different to the source material:
I have a fun story here. Early in my career, someone optioned the rights to make one of my stories (the Emperor's Soul) into a film. I was ecstatic, as it's not a story that at the time had gotten a lot of attention from Hollywood. I met with the writer, who had a good pedigree, and who seemed extremely excited about the project; turned out, he'd been the one to persuade the production company to go for the option. All seemed really promising. A year or so later, I read his script and it was one of the most bizarre experiences of my life. The character names were, largely, the same, though nothing that happened to them was remotely similar to the story. Emperor's Soul is a small-scale character drama that takes place largely in one room, with discussions of the nature of art between two characters who approach the idea differently. The screenplay detailed an expansive fantasy epic with a new love interest for the main character (a pirate captain.) They globe-trotted, they fought monsters, they explored a world largely unrelated to mine, save for a few words here and there. It was then that I realized what was going on. Hollywood doesn't buy spec scripts (original ideas) from screenwriters very often, and they NEVER buy spec scripts that are epic fantasy. Those are too big, too expensive, and too daunting: they are the sorts of stories where the producers and executives need the proof of an established book series to justify the production. So this writer never had a chance to tell his own epic fantasy story, though he wanted to. Instead, he found a popularish story that nobody had snatched up, and used it as a means to tell the story he'd always wanted to tell, because he'd never otherwise have a chance of getting it made. I'm convinced this is part of the issue with some of these adaptations; screenwriters and directors are creative, and want to tell their own stories, but it's almost impossible to get those made in things like the fantasy genre unless you're a huge established name like Cameron. I'm not saying they all do this deliberately, as that screenwriter did for my work, but I think it's an unconscious influence. They want to tell their stories, and this is the allowed method, so when given the chance at freedom they go off the rails, and the execs don't know the genre or property well enough to understand why this can lead to disaster. Anyway, sorry for the novel length post in a meme thread. I just find the entire situation to be fascinating.
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factsilike · 17 hours ago
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I'm sorry, but this is.. such an incorrect post on Lan Qiren's character I don't even know where to begin.
Lan Wangji did not defend a "demonic cultivator" who caused deaths in their society (WWX never even used demonic cultivation, he used gui dao). He defended a man who's been relentlessly persecuted and slandered for protecting the innocent, the innocents those bloodthirsty and revenge obsessed cultivation world wanted to kill, for daring to be better and more powerful than them. WWX was not in the wrong for defending himself against those genocidal maniacs, and Lan Wangji knew that, hence why he protected him. And why he was the only one to do so. And he did not deserve to be whipped for that.
And Lan Qiren was there on the night of that Pledge. He also was one of the people leading a siege against the innocent Wen Remnants in the Burial Mounds, and the people who slaughtered them. And the book clearly paints him as the one who is completely in the wrong for that.
As for the rules.... your words implying that 'old Asian people' are only ever abusive in their strictness? Playing into stereotypes to defend abusive behaviour? Really? "Oh Asian people are just like that, guess that makes it okay that all these adults feel comfortable whipping children! It's just the setting you see, corporal punishment was the norm then!"
To say that Lan Wangji is exactly like his father and hence these rules are there to enforce his behaviour....what even? We are never told in the novel what crime exactly Madame Lan was imprisoned for, but it is very much implied that she should not have had to spend the rest of her days locked up for it.
To think that Lan Wangji would enforce such a fate upon WWX, have you even read the novel? Lan Wangji lost control and kissed WWX once yes, but he also deeply regrets it and never touches WWX against his will again. He beats himself up for it, and moves on. In fact, he flat out knocked himself out when he was drunk so that he wouldn't do anything untoward towards WWX, even WWX was the one who kissed him. You think that is the behaviour of a man who "needs" rules to keep him in check? Implying that all Lans are what, savage beasts who will go wild on others without rules? Rules like "do not keep pets" help them how, exactly?
Not only do you have a deep misconception of Lan Qiren's character, but also Lan Wangji's. And WWX's too, for that matter. Please read the book again.
As for the incense burner dream, I cannot emphasize this enough- it is a fantasy. A dream that never happened in real life. Partners in sexual relationships have fantasies about each other all the time, it is normal. And the dream is not something that actually affected WWX in reality, because it is not something LWJ would ever actually do in reality. Also, LWJ wasn't even the one dreaming about that, WWX was the one who goaded him and gave him said fantasy fuel when they were messing around in the bushes. It was not something 15 year old Lan Wangji was fantasizing about at all, rather their adult selves (in a perfectly healthy and happy established relationship) were discovering their mutual con non-con kink through that dream.
Do you remember the classroom scene? The scene very famous for showing Lan Qiren's blatant favouritism and classism? Notice how Lan Qiren has his prized nephew show upto class to show him off to the other disciples. Notice how Lan Qiren praises Lan Wangji for giving a correct answer, and rebukes WWX for the same thing by saying he is already expected to know the answer. Notice how WWX sees through his petty BS pretty quickly and decides he doesn't need to deal with that. And Lan Qiren's very telling response. Because everyone knows that the marking of a good teacher is when they toss a book at a student's unconventional answer and throw them out of the classroom. What a brilliant man.
Also, Lan Qiren never gives WWX a chance, they just mutually avoid each other after Wangxian's marriage. Did you forget that Lan Qiren was the one who established the new rule "Do not go near Wei Ying" in the extras that forced the juniors to avoid him? Isn't that telling of how precarious WWX's situation would be if it weren't for LWJ? The difference in social power between them is scary.
Imagine yourself in Wei Wuxian's shoes. Imagine how you are all but an outcast in this hypocritical world, and there are no shortage of enemies who want you dead. Imagine you marry the love of your life, and move into his very hostile clan, a clan that has already shown that they are happy to turn you over as a scapegoat. Imagine your spouse's bitter relative can't accept your relationship to the point that he cements his hatred for you on a rock, that serves as the foundation for the clan's teachings, so they're all obligated to now avoid you.
"He allows them to have sex-" oh how very generous of him? As if Lan Wangji would have any hesitation moving out of his clan if his uncle tried to enforce his marital rights. This one seems kinda nonsensical and grasping at straws to defend him.
Sure, he may have led the clan in his brother's absence for many years. Does that make his many moral failings better? Also, first he's a great and amazing leader for the Lan Clan, but it comes to defending LWJ he's suddenly a weak hapless man who can't do anything but bow towards the whims of hypocritical old men who demand that he follow their hypocritical rules? I don't know why so many people refuse to hold these morally reprehensible characters accountable for their own actions and bend over backwards to defend them. "They simply had no choice! They just had to slaughter all these old people, women and children, you know!"
And we don't see him be nurturing or kind to his nephews in any way, at most he seems their strict teacher who expects them to be perfect at all times. If you remember, at the end of the novel right after the Guanyin Temple fiasco, he was very much planning to drag Lan Wangji back to his sect and force him into a seclusion to "fix" him. Wangxian, probably being aware of Lan Qiren's hostility (it was nothing new), wisely left him and the cultivation world behind to clean up their own messes, because they were done doing so. They'd been apart long enough.
Lan Qiren's role in the story, like some others, is that of a weak, unrighteous man who stepped aside and allowed genocide to happen because his beliefs were steeped in classism and hypocrisy, and he had no interest in changing them. He is not an old and exasperated man who yells at WWX because of his shenanigans, but because he pathetically takes his anger on his mother (a woman who has been dead for more than a decade) out on her child. It's sad that fandom misconceptions have caused such a drastic change in the perception of his character, like so many others. People refuse to accept antagonists as antagonists.
Okay here's my Lan Qiren apologist masterpost
"He had Lan Wangji whipped! He's an abuser!"
That was Lan Wangji's punishment for injuring 33 Lan elders while defending a demonic cultivator who caused innumerable deaths in the cultivation community. You need to remember the setting of this story: Madame Yu whipped Wei Ying half to death just because she went "you didn't do anything wrong, your general existence is just mildly annoying to me." Lan Qiren deciding Lan Wangji get one lash for every person he hurt is NOTHING in comparison to the punishment he would have gotten if anyone else was in charge and it was the only way to clear his name.
2. "The Lan sect rules he enforces are too strict."
First of all, Lan Qiren is an old Asian person. I feel like that would be enough to make my point, but I will continue regardless.
The Lans have so many rules because they have extreme self-regulation issues when it comes to their emotions. We've seen Lan Wangji's dad ruin his life by trying to atticwife his lover, but Lan Wangji wasn't any better. If you've read the incense burner extra you know he got his first crush at 15 and his brain immediately went to fantasizing about violently assaulting Wei Ying in the library. Their hundreds of rules are stifling because they're supposed to be. If the Lans don't try to contain themselves they will ruin their lives and the lives of people they care about.
Is "don't talk while you're eating" even that extreme of a household rule? Like every family has some variation of "don't do ____ at the dinner table" and the Lans having their own version is not that insane.
3. "He was against Lan Wangji loving Wei Wuxian."
I need you to spend like. 2 minutes putting yourself in Lan Qiren's shoes.
Imagine you are Lan Qiren. Imagine you find out your brother broke his family apart by forcing his wife to stay with him. Lan Qiren was just a man who was thrust into not only taking care of the Lan clan, one of the biggest cultivation sects you can think of, but also his two traumatized nephews. Imagine cleaning up the mess your brother left you while having to raise two children that aren't yours.
Then you see your nephew, who you have raised like your own son, helplessly pining after the infamous demonic cultivator who has rejected him and teased him. You watch him turn against and injure his own family members to protect a literal criminal.
Then he comes home holding the child of the man he loves and you let him keep that baby and raise him. Because you see yourself in him. You see someone who just lost a loved one who was not a good person but someone you loved regardless. How many times do you think he saw Lan Wangji raising Lan Yuan and remembered himself raising someone else's children because their father was no longer there?
And then after all that Lan Qiren had been through, he didn't even try to keep Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian apart once he found out the truth. When Wei Ying explained how he'd been set up, he was one of the first elders in the cultivation community to give him a chance to explain himself. And after that even if he was cold to Wei Ying, he didn't say shit about the two of them having nasty loud gay sex in gusu every night.
I don't care. Lan Qiren hate will always be forced to me, he did literally nothing wrong and if I was in his shoes I would not have been able to handle it
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pumpkinroll · 2 days ago
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a year ↪obey me! satan x gn! reader︱one shot ↪tags: sfw, fluff, nightbringer era, ~700 words ↪notes: satan finds you working on your scrapbook.
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"What are you up to?"
Satan curiously glanced at the mess of brightly colored, multi-patterned paper scattered across the table in your room. Neon markers and various sheets of stickers, tape, and photographs surrounded you as you held a gluestick ready to glue your next paper victim ; he had only come to drop off a book he borrowed.
“Hm? Oh! It's the end of the month again, so I’m continuing the work on my scrapbook. Although, it looks like it's the last few pages for this year. Wanna take a look!?” With glitter and tape covered fingers, you waved him over to the seat next to you.
He hesitated for a moment but accepted the invitation and sat down, placing the borrowed book on the table.
“I only came by to return the book I borrowed, it was a…surprisingly wonderful read. I was not expecting such an ending but I did find it fitting.”
“Thanks, I knew you’d like it! But we can discuss it later, look at this!” You closed the scrapbook and held it up to him so he could read the front, A Year In The Devildom.
“So you've been working on that all year?”
“Yep! I start a new scrapbook every year. As much as I love living in the moment,” Satan watched as you delicately touch the cover, “I do appreciate capturing those moments and putting them somewhere special. It's therapeutic for me, I love reminiscing the good times. And this year is extra special…being in the Devildom has been life changing.”
You hug the book to your chest and then plop it down onto the table, flipping to the first page. A photo of a disastrous dinner gone wrong featuring all of the brothers fighting while you took a selfie among the chaos.
“I took that the first week I was here. I didn't know it'd be a reoccurring thing!” You laughed to yourself and continued flipping through the book.
All the pages were filled from top to bottom with vibrant colors, small drawings and stickers, and almost too many photos of the brothers, RAD, and the other exchange students. Little moments like Belphie snoozing at the table and Beel eating off his plate. Mammon getting tied up and hung as punishment. Satan smiling while petting a stray —
“When did you take that one!?” He asked in disbelief, embarrassed to have been caught at such a moment.
“Oh um…I was out with Simeon and Luke on an errand, you were having so much fun and I couldn't resist snapping a photo. Especially since you were so moody back then…” You trailed off and sheepishly looked away.
Satan furrowed his brows, “What do you mean?”
You quickly turned your head back towards him, “Well, when I first came here, you hated everyone and everything.”
You flipped to the next page, “You've changed a lot in the last year you know. Look.”
Satan watched as you continued to flip through the pages; many of the earlier photos showing either a scowl or bored look on his face. He never realized how he kept his distance from everyone in the photos, but as you kept turning the pages more and more towards the end of the book, he became more in focus, closer to everyone. Previous scowls turned to smiles and laughter. Especially in the ones that included you.
“Do you see it now?”
“Yeah.”
It was only until now that he realized how much you've changed him and he couldn't believe it took a scrapbook to see it. Or maybe he always knew deep down, he just couldn't face the fact that you changed him in such a short amount of time.
You flipped to the next page, half-finished.
“I was actually working on this page before you came in, do you want to help me?” You reach beside you and flip a photo over. A candid photo taken by Asmo, of you and Satan walking and chatting in the RAD courtyard; eyes shining bright and laughing.
Satan nodded with a gentle smile,
“Yeah, I'd like that.”
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