#did i also mention that she signs a letter from this trip 'your ever loving girl' ?
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shoshiwrites · 3 months ago
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So I don't really ever post work photos because I'm not going to dox myself but please know that there is so much that I could post and so much that gives me fic brainrot. I'm currently processing a family collection that includes a small group of letters from a woman to her husband, dating from the time of their engagement in the 1930s through the late 50s, by which point they've been married 20+ years and are parents to four children.
I don't know anything about their marriage outside of these letters, but she always addresses him so lovingly? Which is all to say. I'm just supposed to sit there and unfold things?? And not think about Jo being a giant mushball??
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So you can see I'm very normal.
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plutoscosmoss · 1 year ago
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Fire Inside ➸ Prologue
Warnings: This series includes themes of violence, death, smut, childbirth and childbirth complications (if I forgot to mention any please let me know)
Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x OC
{Series Masterlist}
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PROLOGUE
Running through the halls of Winterfell, Renva could feel the cold breeze that she’d grown up with. Running in a dress was challenging which is why her father, Rickon, never forced her to wear something she was uncomfortable with. Growing up with just her father and two older brothers gave Renva an insight on how men saw women. From a young age she wanted to change that narrative for the future of women in Westeros. Which is why she chose to wear trousers and a tunic with a fur cloak to provide her warmth during the North’s colder months. 
After navigating the halls she’s known her whole life she came upon her fathers chambers. He had sent a messenger to retrieve her not too long ago but she wanted to finish training with her eldest brother Cregan before attending to her father. As she opened the chamber doors she saw her father hunched at his desk reading a letter.
“Father?” she spoke softly to not startle the man. 
“Ah Renva, you’re late.” He grumbled out lifting up his head and stroking his beard. “I was finishing my training with Cregan. He was teaching me to use a dagger today, did you know the most versatile way to use a dagger during a fight is holding the hilt horizontal in the hand with the dagger tip po-” She started before she was interrupted by her father, “There has been a proposal for your hand Renva.” 
Standing up her father walked towards her, “I will not force you to marry, you know this. I gave you full permission to pick who you would like to marry, but I can’t decline without you meeting your suitor.” Renva bit her cheek which was a nervous habit she has had since she was a child, “Why? Who is it?” she said, glancing up at her father. “It is Prince Aemond Targaryen.” He spoke to his daughter. “Is it him or his parents offering their hand? I’m guessing the latter because Prince Aemond has not seen me ever.” She spat out to her father. This had been the fifth proposal for her hand from someone who has never seen her face or asked her a question about herself. She knew for a fact if these men knew her and her personality they would feel the need to shut her down and force her to be someone she is not. 
Before her father could start talking and giving the Prince the benefit of the doubt, she took a deep breath, “Reply and state that I would like to meet with the person who wants my hand. I know the health of the king is bad, the whole of Westeros knows, so state that we shall make haste and be at Kings Landing as soon as we can.” She spoke as she walked to the door to exit her fathers chambers. “But just know, I would like for Ranvir to accompany us to King's Landing, and I know someone has to stay here at Winterfell, it should be Cregan. He is going to become Lord one day, he has to start learning sometime.” Her father nodded as she stated her requests, “I would also like for Signe to come with us, she is my trusted companion and I would feel lost without her, AND Ranvir has to give me lessons while we are in King's Landing.” She spoke as she leaned against the door frame. “As you wish my dear daughter. Now go pack for our trip, I love you.” He spoke to Renva, “I love you too father.” She smiled as she disappeared around the door. 
Rickon swore he saw his wife instead of his daughter, Renva’s passion was a copy of Gilliane’s. Thinking of his late wife Rickon hoped that Renva would have the same love filled marriage that he and Gilliane had before her death, he just hoped hers would last longer. 
But oh how wrong he was….
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
next chapter
Thank you for reading! I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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hangmanssunnies · 2 years ago
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A Letter From The Past
Summary: On the day of your wedding, the last thing you expected to hear is your groom Rooster Bradshaw is freaking out and having jitters. You want to talk to him and help him with whatever it is he needs. Though you also never thought you would be crying this much reading a letter from Carole Bradshaw.
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Pairings: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw X Reader, and Minor Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Natasha "Phoenix" Trace.
Fandom: Top Gun: Maverick 
Word count: 5k
Warnings: Angst, Comfort, wedding jitters, drinking mentioned, dead parents mentioned. Best Friend Hangman.
A/N: The reader's call sign is Malibu Barbie, I think in this they all call her Malibu. I was crying too much to finish editing. I hope you like it. There will most likely be more parts about the wedding ceremony and then the reception. Let me know what you think and if you're interested in more parts.
Jake “Hangman” Seresin took his job as the man of honor very seriously, and it wasn’t just because his girlfriend Natasha “Phoenix” Trace was the best lady at this wedding. Really there was in no possible way a competition happening between them on who was the better best friend. That was why he laughed in her face when she had first come knocking to tell him there was a situation that they needed to deal with, as soon as possible.
  🌺 🌺 🌺
“Listen, Malibu, I have good news and bad news.”
Your eyes immediately snapped open. The makeup artist who was in front of you stepped back as well, making a small huffing sound but not complaining. Jake was in front of you, biting his lip and looking absolutely ridiculous in his robe, which had Man of honor embroidered on it. Jake was your wingman, best friend, and the obvious choice for your maid of honor. He got stuff done, was organized, and well, the best at whatever he put his mind to. You had one of the best bachelorette parties you could have imagined, thanks to him planning out the Vegas trip. So anything bad happening on your wedding day, paired with Phoenix as best lady, and the amazing event planner you hired, had never crossed your mind.
“Why is there bad news on my wedding day, Hangman?” You ask him, trying to remain calm and not make any facial features that would affect the half finished makeup you were wearing.
“Well, let’s start with the good news,” He pressed a freshly made mimosa into your hands, made exactly the way you liked it. “A fresh mimosa for the beautiful bride to help with your nerves.”
“Jake, how much help am I going to need? Because you’re making it sound like I should be downing some shots right now. Did the flowers not get here? Is someone dead or in jail? Is Maverick blacked out and fell down the stairs, so I have to find a new officiant?” The longer he waited to tell you, the more your mind started to spiral into the possible things that could be wrong.
You sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm down. Jake’s hand was heavy on your shoulder as he pushed you to take a sip of the new drink. “Malibu. Malibu, calm down. Hey, take a drink and take a breath.” He used the same tone he would like if you were to be up in the air, which helped ground you. “I actually unloaded your bouquet this morning, and it is absolutely stunning. Now, remember to breathe. It’s nothing that bad, but, Rooster is freaking out.”
Your heart rate instantly increased instead of calming down, hearing the callsign of your fiancé, soon-to-be husband. Rooster was known for being a pretty level-headed goofy, loving man who did exceptionally under pressure and stress. He was your rock in the storm most of the time; you hadn’t ever even considered the possibility he would freak out.
You had wanted to spend the night before the wedding together with him, but he wanted to have the traditional night apart. So you hadn’t seen him since the end of the rehearsal dinner the night before or all morning setting things up and getting ready. “Oh my god, that’s so much worse. Is he here?” You managed to ask, standing up from the chair and striding towards the door.
Hangman was right on your heel, already reaching to stop you from launching yourself out of the room and down to the groom's suite. He put his hand on the door when you tried to pull it open. “Yes, he is here. He is just freaking out, though. Maverick is trying to calm him down.”
“I don’t think Pete is the best idea for that." You snap back, pulling on the door harder. “Where’s Nat? Where’s Bob?” You asked, questions swirling around you.
“Malibu,” Jake called again, but you were ignoring him now. “Y/N,” he said again, taking his hands off the door to shake you lightly. This finally caught your attention, and you stopped trying to open the door.
“Take a deep breath with me.” You followed his advice breathing in and out. The rest of your bridal party all stopping getting ready, and watched the exchange with worried eyes.
“I need to go see him.”
“You aren’t ready for first looks yet, and neither is he.”
“What kind of freaking out is he doing? Am I about to get left at the altar or what?” You asked, trying to maintain calm.
“It’s hard to explain,” Jake told you. Without another word, you broke from his grasp and threw open the door of the bridal suite, not even bothering to adjust your robe and tighten it around yourself. However, Natasha was standing on the other side.
“Malibu,” she gave you a tight smile. “You look absolutely stunning.”
“Phoenix, how is Bradley? Where is he?”
“Yes, well, I was worried Hangman wouldn’t be able to contain you, so I’m here for interference. Before I can go check on him again.”
You glared at the other woman, but she didn’t budge, and now Hangman was at your back. The couple was boxing you in. “I want to see him."
“Yeah, sorry, sweetheart. That’s not going to happen yet. You will both thank us later.” Jake said from behind you.
“I won’t be thanking anyone if Brad is freaking out so much we don’t get married today.” You snap back. “I want to see him.”
The couple made eye contact over your shoulder, having a silent conversation you couldn’t begin to decipher. Finally, it was Pheonix who grounded you. She straightened out your robe so it was a bit more proper looking. “How about this? Jake and I will figure it out. You don’t need to worry.”
“No, I want to talk to Brad,” you said, hysteria and worry starting to claw in you. “I need to because now I’m going to start freaking out.”
Hangman jumped back into the fray of the conversation, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and turning you back to the bridal suite. “Okay, Nat and I will figure out a way for you and Rooster to talk. And no, you are not getting your phones back. So why don’t you get your hair finished up, and keep going with the makeup.”
“Yeah. We will make it happen, Y/N. There's nothing for you to worry about.” Natasha said, helping guide you back into the room.
“I’m worried now. I'm about to be the one freaking out.” You reminded them. You held up your thumb and index finger, keeping them a little apart in a demonstration. "This close, you guys." 
Even with that being said, they didn’t leave your side until you were back in the chair, and Jake had watched you take at least two more sips of the mimosa he had brought.
“Where's the photographer?” You asked, feeling panicked about every little detail now. No longer able to access the relaxed state you had been in five minutes ago.
“They aren’t scheduled to get here for another 45 minutes,” Jake said, giving you one of his stellar smiles, which helped calm you down a bit. Then he gave a light kiss on your forehead. “Hey, I’m your wingman and even more importantly, your man of honor. I’ve got this all taken care of. Give us a little bit of time, and you can talk to Rooster.”
Despite Hangman’s famous tendency to leave people behind in the air to be the best, you did trust him wholeheartedly. You also trusted Pheonix, who was nodding along with her boyfriend in support.                    
“Okay,” you conceded. With that, the two of them were out the door, and the rest of your bridal party rushed in to help calm you down.
🌺 🌺 🌺
“Telling her was not the best idea Nat,” Hangman said as soon as the door had closed behind them.
“We couldn’t not tell her. Rooster is really, really freaking out. I never would have expected that from him. I was hoping that she would have ideas on how to calm him down.”
Jake groaned. “Babe, now both of them are freaking out.”
“Time for us to come up with a plan and do some damage control.”
The groom's suite was on the other side of the venue, and they were almost there. Jake did not care about at the looks he was getting from wearing the robe he currently had on from some of the caters and staff of the venue.
“They are going to roast you alive for that robe in there,” Pheonix said, stopping at the door to the groom's suite.
“I don’t care. They are just jealous I am best man and that they don’t have robes.”
“Man of honor.” Natasha corrected him while shaking her head. She stopped him before he could open the door. With her hand tightened in the collar of the robe, Natasha pressed a quick kiss to his lips. When he followed her for another, she pulled away. “That was for my nerves,” she told him.
“Sweetheart, we are going to figure this out. There ain't a team better than us in the world.” Jake said with a drawl cupping her face and stealing another kiss. She laughed at him and shoved his chest.
“Except Rooster and Malibu,”
“Yeah, that’s true. Today, Rooster and Malibu are allowed to have us beat, but just barely.”
Stealing one more peck, Nat opened the door to the groom's suite then. Jake sauntered in like he wasn’t stressed out, but she could see some of his smaller tells.
“Never fear, Hangman is here,” he called out, supporting a cocky grin.
It took approximately five seconds before half the room broke into laughter seeing the other aviator. All of Rooster's groomsmen and ladies, except one of his close friends from UVA -- Daniel, were also in the Navy. And given the nature of their friend groups, they knew Hangman. Even Daniel had met Jake during the bachelor party.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” Javy asked, doubled over in laughter.
“Coyote shut up. Now’s not the time,” Jake quickly brushed his friend off, scanning the room for Rooster. “Where is Bradshaw? If he ran off, Malibu will kill him, and when she is done, then I will kill him again.”
“He locked himself in that closest,” Daniel Hamm said, pointing to the door most of the guys were standing by. Natasha breezed past them all straight to the door knocking on it. Maverick shook his head in wain at her attempt, having already tried.
“Thanks Radio,” Hangman said, rolling his eyes and grabbing a beer from the fridge before he joined the crowd around the door. 
“Bradshaw,” she said in a serious voice, hearing nothing from the other side. “Come on, buddy you can talk to us.”
“Leave me alone,” She finally heard Rooster's voice from inside.
“Bradley, you aren’t eight years old. You can’t lock yourself in a closet,” Maverick said, shaking his head. Pheonix shot him a glare. He really wasn’t helping anything. Jake shoved the Mav out of the way.
“Maverick, you really have heart, but why don’t you sit this one out sir.” Then Jake knocked on the door three times.
“Bradshaw, it’s Seresin.”
“Why are you here?”
“Listen buddy,” Jake started to say but was quickly cut off.
“You’re supposed to be with Y/N. Is she okay?” The panic in Bradley’s voice only increased, and Pheonix smacked the back of Jake’s head in punishment. He winced and grabbed the offending hand so she wouldn’t be able to smack him again. Turning to the rest of the guys crowding them in around the closet, he glared.
“Hey, can you guys give us a little space?”
“Roost do you want to talk to Malibu? She wants to talk to you, and Jake and I can make it happen.” Phoenix asked.
“I’m not ready to see her.”
“No, no seeing involved yet. She is still getting ready. But you can still talk to her. Would that help you out?” Jake cut in.
“Is she okay?”
“Well, to be honest, no. Not really, buddy. It would help her a lot to talk with you. That’s why I’m down here.” If there was anything that could override Rooster’s own panic, it would be concern and protectiveness over you.
There was silence on the other side of the door. Natasha gave Jake the thumbs up before speaking to the door again. “You can’t talk to her from this closet, though.”
A full minute passed, and then the door to the closet opened. Bradley had hunched his too tall form to fit in, and he was still wearing the casual outfit he had shown up in that morning. He did not look his best. Everyone else in the room cheered at the sight of him, and he cracked a small grin. The stress was clearly still bubbling under the surface of that smile.
“Bro, what the fuck are you wearing?” Rooster asked when he set eyes on Hangman's plush Man of honor robe, which made everyone laugh again.
“Y’all are just jealous that Phoenix didn’t get you robes. I got everyone robes on the bride’s side, and we are living in luxury. While y’all are bumming it.”
“Can I talk to Malibu now?”
“No, we have to get stuff set up.”
Natasha jumped in then, “You just got to give us twenty minutes. In the meantime, I want you guys to shotgun some of those beers.” Everyone gave another cheer, and Brad forced another smile on his face.
Phoenix quickly shut the door to the closet again so there wouldn’t be another disappearing act. She grabbed her WSO’s arm too. “Bob listen to me, don’t let him back into that closet. And maybe try and get him into something besides those ratty joggers and wife beater. I know that the wedding is still for a while, and you guys take 20 minutes to get dressed but at least get him in a Hawaiian shirt and some slacks or something.”
Bob nodded his head, and she smiled, knowing that he wouldn't let her down. Making sure all the guys were rallying around Bradley, she headed back out the door where Hangman was waiting.
🌺 🌺 🌺
“Okay, princess. What is our game plan?”
“We need somewhere they can easily talk but can’t see each other.”
They both started to think of different places in the venue that would work for what they needed to accomplish. 
“What about the bathroom? We put one of them in the stall so they can’t see each other.”
“That’s a terrible idea, Jake.”
“Fine, what about an open window and a curtain?”
“That’s better,” Pheonix conceded and then looked up from where they were standing.
The venue was absolutely beautiful, it was two parts. The second half of the reception and dinner was going to take place in the boat house where they currently were. And the second part of the venue was the riverboat. That was where the ceremony and a cocktail hour would be,  before coming back to the boathouse. Overlooking the beach and water where the boat was docked was a balcony. On a small middle floor that was mostly storage and a few extra empty rooms, they hadn’t been planning on using. It had a set of huge french doors opening up onto the balcony. 
“Jake, what if we open up those doors and pull out the curtains so that they don’t have to see each other. It will give them some privacy, and they will be able to still talk.”
He followed her gaze and started nodding his head. "You are absolutely brilliant, Trace."
They both quickly made their way up to the room and started to open the french doors and set out two chairs. They also stood on each side to test it, making sure it would work for their little plan. Once they had confirmed this, they both went to collect their side of the couple.
“Okay, you are bringing in Rooster first, and then I’ll bring in Malibu.”
“Yes,” Pheonix confirmed. They were about to split again when they noticed the photographer approach them.
“Hi, I am here for the pictures. Are they ready to do some getting ready ones?”
“Hi, sweetheart,” Jake said, giving her one of his signature smiles. “There is actually a bit of a change, to our schedule. The couple is about to have a chat on that balcony.” He pointed up to it so that she would be able to see.
“First looks aren’t scheduled for another hour and a half,” the photographer said, checking her watch, a bit panicked that they had changed the schedule up on her.
“They aren’t doing first looks yet. They just need to have a talk,” Natasha said kindly. “So please feel free to get your camera set up and photograph all the decor and anything like that you need to, and the coordinator DeeDee should be around here somewhere as well.
"Also, maybe pictures of them up there on the balcony if you can manage it," Jake added. That’s all the two gave the poor woman before dashing off.
      🌺 🌺 🌺
The entire time Jake had been gone and your makeup was being finished up, you hadn’t been able to ease the tension coiling in you. When Jake told you the plan and brought you to the balcony, retreating to the other side with Phoenix, waiting until you both calmed down and were done talking.
You could see the shadow of Bradley pacing on his side of the balcony when you stepped out onto yours. Also, hearing the steady rhythm of his feet. Only barely able to make out his shape through the illuminated curtain but not actually able to see him.
“Brad?” You called out.
“Baby,” you heard him say, and his pacing stopped.
“Honey, are you okay? What’s going on? Jake said you were freaking out but didn’t give me any details.”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? Okay," you took a moment, trying to organize your thoughts. "Are you having doubts about me? About us? Is it anything I did?”
“No. It's not you. You're perfect,” he said quietly.
“Okay, that's good. Well, what happened when you first started freaking out?”
“I got a letter.”
“A letter?”
“Yeah.”
You sighed heavily and situated yourself into the chair that was on your side, realizing that it was going to be a slow conversation. A slow conversation was fine. You would do anything for Bradley, talk for hours, even put off this wedding if that was what he needed.
“I will sit here and wait all day. I don’t want you to feel pressure, but sweetheart, my Rooster, you can talk to me. We talk. Us getting married today won’t change that.” 
There was silence from his end, and you saw his shadow start to pace again. “We are getting married, and I don’t even know how to be married. I haven’t seen one good marriage in my life. I don’t even really remember my parent's marriage. I just know the stories my mom would tell me.”
“Being married won’t really change our relationship, not really. The biggest thing is that the Navy is going to have to do their best to station us together now. But if you don’t want to get married today, we don’t actually have to.” You said, taking a moment to think about his words.
“Last night, Mav gave me a box, and I didn’t think anything of it. I thought it was just an early wedding gift. I wanted to get as much rest as possible, so I saved it to open until this morning. Then I opened it up, and there was a letter. From my mother.”
"Oh Brad,” you gasp and put your hand over your mouth.
“It says to my Bradley on his wedding day. She wrote me all these letters when she got sick. I thought I had read the last of them, years ago. But I guess she gave this one to Mav to keep for me. I can’t,” his voice broke, and you watched his shadow slump against the wall. “I can’t read it,” he finally finished.
You couldn’t stand not seeing him or holding him in your arms. You reached for the curtain separating you from him. You started to pull on it so you could see him, but his hand held it firm so you couldn’t reveal him to your wanting eyes. You saw his hand and grabbed it, threading your fingers together.
“Baby, it’s a silly wedding tradition. It doesn’t matter if I’m all dressed up yet. Let me hold you please, “ you begged him.
“I do care. I sure as hell am not ever marrying anyone else, baby. So, I want the full experience. I’m sorry I waited until the morning of our wedding to have a breakdown about what marriage means to me.”
You stroked your thumb across the back of his hand soothingly. “Do you have it?”
“Have what?”
“The letter with you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want me to read it for you? Or we can save it if you would like.”
He didn’t say anything, and you waited for him, not prompting him or pressuring him to share that special document with you. Just allowing him time and space to make the choice and make sure he knew you were there for him.
Then a small box just longer than a folded letter and an inch or so deep was pushed to your side of the balcony. “Will you read it to me? And don’t edit anything out no matter what she said. “
“Of course.” You opened the box and on top of some tissue paper was a letter with elegant handwriting. With shaking fingers, you let go of Bradley's hand and picked up the letter to open it and start reading.
🌺🌺🌺
To My Bradley on his wedding day. 
Dear Bradley,
You’re getting married. What a wonderful, joyous occasion. You were the light of my life when your father passed away, and now you have found someone who I hope is the light of yours. I hope you know I am there with you every day, Bradley. That I am with you right now reading this letter. Even if you can’t hear us, your father and I are going to be cheering louder than anyone at the ceremony. I know your father would have had all kinds of manly husbandly advice for you. I am so sorry I can’t leave that for you. However, I can tell you some of the things we valued in our marriage. I can also tell you that Nick is so proud of you, Bradley Bradshaw. 
I know I raised you right and that you know how to treat a partner, but I still wanted to give you some advice. Don’t you ever take anything for granted, not a single moment with your wife. Not one night in bed together, holding hands while walking, not doing chores, or going grocery shopping. Treasure them all; even when you get into fights, which will happen, they are unavoidable. We don’t know how much time we all get here on this earth. While I am hoping you and your future wife live the longest happiest lives together, I don’t want you to have any regrets if that's not the case. When you really love someone, no amount of time, not even forever, is enough. Never leave each other's side without a kiss and saying I love you. Open that whole beautiful heart of yours and love without reservations Bradley. 
I am sure your father and I would love your wife. I’m confident that she is kind and beautiful and everything I had always dreamed of in a future daughter-in-law. I hope she is goofy and makes you laugh. I hope she loves you as much as I loved your father and understands the man you grew up to be. I left a little gift for her in this box, so that she knows how much we already love her and that I’m there for her today too. Please give it to her before the wedding. 
I am going to ask that you and your wife support each other through any hardship life throws in your way. Nothing feels better than the hand of the person you love in yours when you’re in the middle of a storm. Treat each other with love, respect, and kindness. Live your life together in every sense you can: laugh together, sing in the car together, and cry together. It isn’t just love that holds up a marriage; it’s dedication, partnership, and most importantly, honesty. Don’t stop dating or having fun just because you have tied the knot. Go out on the town and take trips, live life together. Keep getting lost in each others’ eyes, just in case they’ve changed since you last checked. 
While you are committing yourself to be one part of a whole, I want you to still have friends and family to go to when problems arise, they will always have an open ear. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for support from each other or the people who love you. But always listen to your heart when making decisions. I love you, Bradley. We will always be there as you walk anywhere. To your new wife, we will be walking with her, too. 
Welcome your wife to the family with a big Bradshaw hug from us. 
Sending you more love than you can imagine, 
Mom and your Dad too. 
 🌺 🌺 🌺
Bradley had openly started sobbing during the first paragraph, and you had started crying reading the letter too. You didn’t care about the makeup you were wearing at all. You had held the pages away from you so that none of the tears would spill and ruin the letter. When you had been able to take a few more breaths, you carefully folded it up again and put it back in the envelope. 
You reached your hand around the other side of the curtain again. Rooster quickly grabbed it and gave it a kiss, his face was wet from tears, and you felt the tickle of his mustache on your wrist. 
“That was a beautiful letter,” you finally told him, breaking the bubble of silence from when you finished reading. You couldn’t keep your voice from breaking.
“We are already crying together.”
“Yes, we are.”
“What’s in the box?”
You pulled out the tissue paper with your available hand. Inside there were two long white ribbons, each of a different material. A small note card also baring Carole’s handwriting, it was short. It told you one of the ribbons was from Carole’s own wedding dress and the other she had made from Nick’s dress whites. Then there was a small blue glass flower hairpin. The gifts made you start crying again as you told Bradley what was inside. Then you pushed the box with the gifts and the letter back over to him so that he could see.
“She would have loved you. They would have loved you,” he said. His voice breaking. Another sob wrecked through him, and you felt his body shake just from holding his hand.
“Put a hand over your eyes, Bradley.”
“What?”
“Close your eyes and put a hand over them. No peaking.”
He let go of your hand then, and you waited a few more moments. Then you pushed the french door. Just before you could see Bradley, you closed your own eyes too. It only took you a moment of feeling around before reaching his side and wrapping him in a bone-crushing hug.
He hugged you back just as fiercely, pressing his wet face into your neck and shoulder against the plush robe you were wearing. You felt him mouthing something into your skin, and your hand found his hair running through it soothingly.
“What’s that?” you ask him gently.
“Thank you, thank you. I love you,” he kept muttering it into your skin, over and over loud enough now that you could hear it. After that, the two of you just held each other for a few minutes until your breathing leveled out again, and Bradley stopped crying.
“How are you feeling?”
He squeezed you extra tight then. “I’m good, thanks to you. I’m sorry for freaking out and worrying you. And throwing off today’s whole schedule.”
“There is nothing to apologize for,” you reassured him. “It’s our day. We can do whatever we want. Plus, this is obviously Pete’s fault for not telling you about the letter,” you said light-heartedly.
“Hashtag everything's Mav’s fault.” Rooster said with a chuckle. It was a hashtag they made up on Bradley's bachelor party that had just stuck.
He pressed a delicate kiss to your throat, and you were tempted to open your eyes and find his lips. However, he pulled away from you before you could.
“Okay baby. Thank you. I love you. I’m not peaking. We both need to get ready. I will see you soon, though, for first look pictures.”
“I love you too.”
You scooted away from him and opened your eyes to find the door and situate it between you two again. “I’m going to leave. I’ll send Natasha in for you, is that okay?” 
“Yes,” he said. His voice was the steadiest and most like normal you had heard all day.
“Also, I don’t want you to feel any pressure to wear these gifts from my Mom,” He told you, holding the box out around the door. You gently pulled it from his grasp, noting that the letter wasn’t in it anymore, but the ribbons and pin were.
“I will be wearing them. You couldn’t stop me. This is a gift from my mother-in-law, you know.” You joked but held the box close to your chest. It was true; even if it didn’t match your wedding’s aesthetics, they were beautiful gifts, and you would never throw something so sweet and thoughtful to the side like that.
Rooster didn’t say anything more, and you made your way out to the door. When you opened it, you were greeted by the sight of Jake pressed up against the far wall of the hallway. Natasha slotted in between his legs, the two of them making out.
You cleared your throat twice before they broke apart. Neither of them even looked embarrassed, which just made you laugh and clutch the box a little closer to your chest.
“Everyone knows I am the captain of the Hannix ship, but it is my wedding day, you guys. Please try and keep it in your pants and robes for a few more hours.”
“Is everything good?” Natasha asked, brushing off your comment with little more than a smile.
“Yeah, everything’s good,” You confirm. “Rooster’s waiting for you to grab him once I’m out of eyesight.
“Good,” Jake said. He couldn’t help himself from pressing one more kiss to Nat’s lips before he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and started to guide you away. “We have to completely redo your makeup. I had no idea you could even cry this hard. One of your eyelashes is falling off.”
You rolled your eyes at him but leaned into his side. Excitement for the rest of the day to unfold was bubbling in you. Staring at the gifts from Carole, you started to plan how you were going to incorporate them into the day.
Phoenix went to grab Rooster when you two had disappeared from sight and found him holding a letter, tears falling from his eyes again. She had to resist the internal urge to make fun of him for crying. There wasn’t anything wrong with a man crying, despite what people thought. Natasha being someone who made sure she could always fit in with the guys, was guilty of holding others to the stereotype. Even more so from her time in the military.
“How you doing, Bradshaw?” She asked kindly.
He quickly folded the letter and whipped a few tears on the white Hawaiian-themed shirt that Bob had forced him into. “I’m good. Ready to get ready. I promise I’m done crying for the day.”
Natasha laughed and held out a hand, helping him to his feet. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Rooster. You’re a big softie. We both know you’re going to cry when Malibu walks down the aisle, and probably during first looks too.”
And as per usual, Phoenix was completely correct.
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diamond-coral · 3 years ago
Text
A Game
Summary: Tony suggests a game that you, the unfortunate intern, get dragged right into the center of: who can make a woman cum the fastest?
Pairings: all dark!: Steve x Reader, Bucky x Reader, Thor x Reader, Sam Wilson x Reader, Tony x Reader, implied natasha x reader
Warnings: DUB-CON/NON-CON (oral: f-receiving, fingering, tiny smidge of analplay) VOYEURISM/EXHIBITIONISM, BLACKMAILING, OVERSTIMULATION. The characters in this story are NOT good people. After reading the warnings, your media consumption is your own responsibility!
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As Stark’s party mellowed down and all the guests left, you, the unfortunate intern, were called over to the small group of five Avengers seated in a section of couches.
“Y/n, come!” Thor’s voice boomed.
“Y/n, come!” Sam mimicked, deepening his voice to make fun of Thor’s.
You approached them as the men snickered at Sam’s joke. 
“What can I do for you?” you ask, a fake smile plastered on your face.
Stark cleared his throat and raised a brow at you; a silent command. 
“What can I do for you, sir?” 
“A round of drinks please, and add this to Sir Barnes, Sir Rogers, and I’s drinks.” Thor handed you the flask of his Asgardian liquor and you accepted it, hiding the slight nervous tremble of your hands.
“Of course, sir.”
“Someone’s been learning their manners,” Steve taunted, and it took all your restraint to not snarl at him.
“Easy there, Rogers,” Stark interjected, noticing how your fingers clenched Thor’s flask tighter. “Pretty sure Barnes fucked the brat outta her couple days ago when he came back from that shitshow of mission in Bosnia. Got a lot of pent up rage there, Buck?”
“Mission just put me in a bad mood,” Bucky shrugged. “Either way, I don’t think I fucked all the brat outta her. Got anything left for me, doll?”
“I have nothing for you, you self-righteous, ignorant prick,” you spat venomously.
“There she is. I always love a challenge.” Bucky smirked at how your knuckles were turning white around the flask. “Now didn’t Thor ask you to go fetch us some drinks?”
You huffed, opting to bite your tongue rather than lashing out, and spun on your heel toward the minibar.
Three-months ago, you would never have imagined your internship interview at S.H.I.E.L.D to bring you here. Your interview had been conducted by Captain America himself, and just as things began to look promising, it was interrupted by a sharp knock from Tony Stark. Tony had brought Steve into the hall, leaving the door to the conference room open, and you could only sneak glances through the window of the room, hearing Steve whisper about how it was “a question of morality” while they both kept looking back at you.
You got the position, and the next day, Tony sat you down and gave you an offer.
The Avengers needed to be ‘taken care of’, as he put it, and you being a ‘stress-reliever’ would boost morale around the team. Most of the them never had time for the outside world (apparently saving the world was a big commitment?) and were rarely ever able to make lasting relationships. You could accept the position, be compensated monthy, and get to live in the compound, or you could decline, and walk away with your mouth sealed by the confidentiality contract you signed before the interview.  Something about S.H.I.E.L.D. work being linked to a lot of top secret information, meaning you weren’t allowed to speak any details of the job to outside parties unless you wanted to get sued for every penny you were worth.
You had been on the cusp of taking the second option before Tony mentioned your sister’s job as S.H.I.E.L.D. as an agent. She was half the reason you’d interviewed for an internship. A couple words from Tony about her possibly falling into a fatal accident on a mission, and you took the position offer in a heartbeat.
You almost overfilled the glass while getting lost in your train of thought. Setting down the bottle of expensive whiskey, you placed the last glass next to the others on the silver tray, and picked it up, gracefully yet begrudgingly making your way back to the small gathering.
“Y/n, finally. We were just talking about who here can make a woman cum the fastest.”
The complete utter bluntness of Tony’s words caught you entirely off guard, and you tripped over your own feet, stumbling in your high heels to keep the tray of drinks from falling before Sam reached an arm out to catch the tray and another arm to hold your hip and steady you.
You ripped yourself from Sam’s touch without acknowledging or thanking him, to disturbed by Tony’s previous words to do so. You began passing out the glasses of dark liquid. “And you’re telling me this why?” Your voice was flat in hopes of showing Tony you were completely disinterested in any plans he might have.
“Why, we need your aid, Lady Y/n,” Thor answered a little too cheerfully for your taste.
“I won’t be partaking in your little immature competition of toxic masculinity.” You crossed your arms and continued. “It makes it seem that women are nothing but prizes. Games to be played by boys as they fight over the highscore. Toys.”
“Aren’t they?” Steve cocked his head, eyes glimmering with amusement while a smirk painted his face. The rest of the men chuckled at his reply.
“I think HR would be shocked to hear that Captain America is being a sexist dick to a woman in the workplace,” you bit back, but your threat was weak and they all knew it.
“I think HR would be to busy writing a condolence letter to your sisters family if, let’s say, on her mission with Sam tomorrow in Russia, a stray bullet hit her,” Steve replied. A quick reminder at the stakes. 
Sam clicked his tongue and shook his head in mock sympathy. “Those darn Russians and their careless aim.”  
He abruptly pushed himself off the couch and clapped his hands together. “I wanna go first,” he declared.
“Just remember, you can’t use your dick,” Tony added. “Some of us don’t have super soldier serum enhanced fuckwands.”
“Please never, ever say fuckwand again,” Bucky said, scrunching up his nose. “Besides, the hydra serum didn’t do anything down there.” He waggled his eyebrows while elbowing his enhanced counterpart. “Don’t think I could say the same for this punk here though.”
Steve muttered a ‘shut up’ while the group snickered.
All while they compared sizes like a bunch of teenagers, Sam manhandled you onto the coffee table in the center of the couches. You let out a grunt as you were shoved onto your front, stomach pressed into the tabletop while your pelvis was slammed into the edge.
Sam kneeled behind you and brought up two fingers to your mouth.
“Get ‘em nice and wet for me, baby.”
The men around you went quiet, entranced as you reluctantly took Sam’s fingers into your mouth, sucking on them and swirling your tongue around them.
When Sam finally pulled them out, he looked back at Tony.
“You ready?” Sam asked.
Sam hiked the flowy skirt of your dress up your legs causing you to squirm and pathetically thrash; a desperate attempt at putting an abrupt stop to this stupid game.
“You’re on the clock.”
At Tony’s words, Sam immediately stopped your desperate attempt at worming away from him by catching you by the back of your neck and slamming you back down hard on the coffee table. Much to your disdain, the rough treatment made you wet, and that was the last thing you wanted them to see.
But when Sam pulled your lacy panties down, you could tell it was the first thing he noticed.
“Fuck babygirl, I didn’t need you lubing up my fingers, you’re already drenched,” he noted.
You let out a soft moan as Sam worked two calloused fingers into your pussy. Although they’re thick and long, they were nowhere near the size of his dick and you silently thanked whatever was out there that he wasn’t splitting you in half with it at the moment. Sam released the grip on your neck, moving to settle the hand on your ass before giving it a light squeeze and a slap that elicited another moan from you. While Sam slowly began moving his fingers- twisting, curling, and pumping them- he leaned over you, caging your body under his broad chest, to speak dirty words into your ear.
“Baby, you’re so wet right now, I think you like having them watch you.” Your cheeks burned in shame while he picked up the pace. “You want them to see how well-behaved you are for me? Want them to see how you come on my hand like a good little slut?” he cooed.
Slow pumps now turned to quick thrusts from his skilled fingers and Sam groaned as you fluttered around him.
“That’s it. You’re taking me perfectly.”
Twisting his wrist so his thumb could also strum your clit, Sam was moving so fast you’d easily mistake him for a superhuman.
“Yes, Sam, please,” you cried out, eyes rolling into the back of your head.
“Uh-uh, babygirl. Wrong word,” he scolded, although his pace never slowed as his fingers brutally fucked into you.
“Daddy!” you screamed. “I’m cumming!”
You chanted those words, cunt clamping down on his merciless fingers. He gave you no reprieve, mercilessly thrusting into you, until you squirted, your release coating his hand and dripping down his forearm. Only when you were almost crying, did he finally remove his hand from your abused cunt.
“Now that-,” Sam stated, grinning while he stood. “-is how you make a girl come.”
“Yeah, sure, whatever Birdbrain.” You don’t have any strength to look at Tony as he speaks. “Give her a couple minutes before whoever’s next.”
Whatever the conversation was between them (you couldn’t hear it over the buzzing in your brain), it was much too short to your liking. The few minutes Tony gave you only felt like a few seconds before Bucky was getting up.
“Guess I’ll take a crack at it,” he announced, rolling his head from side to side.
“No one says “take a crack at it” anymore, old man.”
“Keep talking when your in last place, Sam,” Bucky quipped, however, his tone was still light.
You felt a metal hand on your hip before you were rolled over onto your back, now facing Bucky while your eyes pleaded with him.
“Please dont,” you croaked.
Bucky just scoffed, kneeling down between your legs and wrapping both arms around your thighs as he pulled you closer.
“Tony?” His hot breath fanned your pussy as he spoke and you inhaled sharply at the feeling.
“Whenever you’re ready,” Stark said.
Bucky wasted no time the moment the words left Tony’s mouth. He started by licking up from your hole to clit over and over, the lazy stripes already driving you wild. Letting go of one of your thighs to bring his flesh hand to your pussy, he pulled the hood of your clit back, pausing his licking to blow on your engorged bud.
“Such a pretty pussy, doll,” he murmured before turning his head around and speaking louder. “You guys seeing this?” 
He moved his head out of the way to showcase your glistening folds. A couple groans from the men on the couches had you trying to close your legs, but Bucky’s grip was like steel (especially considering his hand was metal).
“Wasting time Buck,” Steve commented and Bucky just rolled his eyes.
“I’m pretty sure I can still beat Sam and have time left over,” he scoffed.
Bucky directed his attention back to your folds, this time, diving in right away. He still had the hood of your clit pulled back as he encased the bud with his lips causing you to writhe at the intense sensation. And yet, you were held down with practically no effort as he methodically played with you. Each time he groaned against you, you let out an embarrassingly loud moan, and by the time he started sucking on your clit, you were wrecked. Your hand found home in his brown locks of hair while he quickly moved his tongue back and forward on your sensitive nub that was trapped in the vacuum of his mouth. The coil inside you wound tighter and tighter, and suddenly, while Bucky began shaking his head from side to side, it snapped. Your clit pulsed rapidly while encased in his hot mouth, and you screamed, legs locking around his head while your hand held his head in place. He worked you while you rode out your orgasm on his face until you could barely move.
Bucky got up from his knees, grinning down at you, so weak, you couldn’t muster it in you to glare back.
“Now I think I really fucked the brat out of you,” he said. “What was that?” He cupped his ear. “Did I hear a thank you sir?”
“Thank you, sir,” you whimpered weakly.
You were so fucked out, all the next events were but a blur.
Thor had feasted between your thighs the same as Bucky but was more sloppy, although, your body seemed to love ‘sloppy’. His tongue was constantly lashing and worming around your clit, the wet muscle accompanied by lewd slurping sounds, and in record time, Thor’s suckling and licking had you tensing and building up so much that your orgasm felt like a waterfall crashing over your body.
Steve was just as methodical and precise as Bucky, also pumping his fingers slowly in and out of your pussy. He was sweetly slow, dragging out your pleasure to the point where you were begging him to come. His warm tongue dragged across your sensitive cunt, while another hand reached up to grab a breast and pinch a nipple. You felt like your body was on fire. It wasn’t until Steve had inserted a thumb into your ass that he finally allowed your body sweet sweet release.
Your head span as finally collapsing on Tony’s floor, listening to the muffled voices above you.
You didn’t even register Stark’s words as he announced Thor had won and Steve had come in last. You barely even heard Steve’s defense that he was just enjoying himself too much in the moment.
Although ten-minutes later you had a somewhat sense of clarity, after hearing their conversation, you wished you were just unconscious. Even better, dead.
“I’m tellin’ you man, I made her squirt. She definitely came the hardest with me.” Sam’s voice rang.
“Dude- she was literally grinding against my face and holding me in a headlock with her legs,” Bucky argued.
“I literally made the brat beg to cum,” Steve inserted.
“I’d say that by bringing her to release the fastest, it was most intense with me,” Thor declared, victoriously.
You were on the brink of tears as they talked about you. Until another voice cut into the room. A female voice.
“What do you boys think you’re doing?”
It was Natasha. Your head jolted up as you felt a glimmer of hope surge through you.
That glimmer of hope was quickly extinguished at her next words.
“Not inviting me to the boy’s party?” she scolded. “You think a girl might beat you by a landslide?”
Nat squatted down next to you, running a soft hand on your cheek.
“Well you’re right. I’ll beat Thor’s record and cut it in half.”
She began unbuttoning her pants.
“And I’ll do it while riding her face.”
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mypoisonedvine · 4 years ago
Text
Love, Theoretically | Sebastian Stan x reader (chapter 10 - FINALE)
series masterlist
series summary: having lost your husband, sister, and best friend all to the same extramarital affair, you ran away to a secluded villa in the Hungarian countryside to write and get a little time away from the life you’d left behind.  you were only looking for peace and perhaps some inspiration for your novel, but instead you found an unlikely connection with the immigrant repairman– even though the two of you don’t speak the same language.
word count: 6k
warnings: implied smut, angst, fluff, romcom tropes, lots of swearing, pregnancy mention/minor breeding kink
note: click the asterisk for a hyperlink to a translation when the time comes
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Six months later...
“It’s good!” she beamed, setting down the last chunk of pages and taking off her reading glasses. “Oh man, that ending hurt, but it’s really, really good!”
You leaned back into the plush chair and sighed with relief. “You think so?”
“It’s best-seller material,” she assured. “With some editing, of course. God, I can’t believe you were sitting on this for so long.”
“What are the biggest changes you want to make?” you asked.
“Well, I’m thinking we’ll cut the romantic subplot,” she mentioned in passing, like it was no big deal. “It’s distracting.
“Distracing?” you repeated. “Nia, it’s the story. It’s a romance.”
“I thought it was a thriller,” she frowned.
“A romance disguised as a thriller,” you corrected.
“Listen, I get what you mean, but I didn’t get this—” she tapped the nameplate on her desk: ‘NIA BROWN, HEAD PUBLISHER’ in shiny letters— “for nothing. I know what I’m talking about, and I know what your readers want. Violence, gore, drama!”
“It has all that!” you defended. “But it’s all there to talk about the real love he finds in her!”
“What do you mean ‘real love’?” she pressed flatly.
“I mean…” you pondered. “I mean love where you feel like a version of yourself that you actually like. Love where you feel unjudged, no precedents or caveats or back-up plans. Love that fucking hurts because you never wanted to rely on anything or anybody. Love that lives in silence because you don’t even need words.”
She furrowed her brow. “That… sounds nice, I guess, but I don’t think anybody really has that. Everybody needs a back-up plan. Everybody needs words— a writer should know that.”
“Oh my god. Oh my god,” you groaned, your face falling into your hands. “I’m so fucking stupid. Jesus Christ, I’m a moron.”
“What? What’s going on?”
“I had that! I had that, and I let it go! I’m the dumbest bitch on the fucking face of the Earth.”
“Don’t say that,” she soothed, but you were already standing up.
“No, I need to find him,” you decided as you grabbed your coat and briefcase. “I need to go back and try to fix this. I love him, I’ve never— I didn’t know I could love like that, I didn’t know I could be loved like that… oh my god, I need to find him. It isn’t over.”
“It isn’t over?” she repeated incredulously. “You said Michael signed the papers!”
“It’s not Michael,” you rolled your eyes as you stormed out of the office. “It was never Michael.”
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You ran into the first telephone box you could find, slamming the door shut as you searched your purse for the business card that probably wasn't even in there.
After a moment, you gasped with delight when you pulled it from a very bottom pocket and began punching in the number as fast as possible with shivering hands, long-distance charges be damned.
“Hello?” the confused voice on the other end answered.
“Mrs. Alberti, hi— does Sebastian still work for you?” you asked hastily.
“No, dear," she sighed, apparently recognizing you by just your voice (and likely your request), "he quit recently, and moved away.”
“Moved?" you repeated with a wrinkled brow. "Where?!”
“I assume back home, sweetheart; to Bucharest.”
“Shit,” you sighed. “Shit!”
“Are you having your ‘run through the airport’ moment, sweetheart?” she realized.
“Yes, I think so— do you have his address?”
“Well, no, but I’ll see what I can find.”
You waited rather impatiently as she shuffled through papers in the background, mumbling to herself as she apparently searched for information that could help you.
“All I’ve got is the address of a previous employer… a carpenter,” she finally explained, breaking the silence. “It was his only reference when he came to work here," she explained.
"Wow, you really did just hire him for his looks," you blurted out.
"He was desperate for work, that boy had nowhere else to go,” she defended.
“Right, well, I guess if that’s my only lead then I’ve gotta go for it,” you decided. “Thank you, Mrs. Alberti.”
“I told you to call me when that book was a hit. Did it happen yet?” she piped up.
“It’s not published yet,” you explained. “It needs some more work… but I think it’s almost ready.”
“I think so, too, dear.”
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Learn Romanian in 10 Weeks! A practical language guide.
Week 1, Day 1: Greetings
Hello                      Salut
Goodbye                La revedere
Thank you              Mulțumesc
You’re welcome      Cu plăcere
Good morning         Bună dimineata
Good afternoon       Bună ziua
Good evening          Bună seara
Good night               Noapte bună
You brushed your hair back out of your face with a sigh, turning the page as you mumbled the phrases to yourself. Broken Hungarian and your high school education in Latin were not getting you as far with this as you had been hoping.
How are you?          Ce mai faci
I love you                 Te iubesc
“Te iubesc, te iubesc, te iubesc,” you repeated over and over in a whisper.
Each day you had a new routine: practice Romanian for an hour, check flight prices online (or call the airline), research what you knew about Sebastian and the address Mrs. Alberti had given you, and then get back to practicing Romanian again.
Oh, and occasionally you worked on the edits Nia wanted for your manuscript. You were focusing on the minor changes— grammar errors, rearranging sentences— and putting off her big request for the removal and replacement of the romantic aspects. More than ever, they seemed like the most important thing the book had to offer.
You had a small apartment, just a place to sleep and shower really; much too small to fit everything you’d already taken from Michael’s house (you know, the one that used to be your house) along with what he’d shipped to you that you forgot before. He included a letter in the package as well. You threw it out, unopened.
Truthfully, you never really fully unpacked. As much as you realized you probably should, in order to really feel like you had a real home, you couldn’t bring yourself to empty your suitcases when you knew you’d be packing them again any day now.
You also realized how outrageous this all was. Ignoring the unlikelihood of even finding him in the first place, Sebastian probably wouldn’t want anything to do with you after you broke his heart, left, and then randomly tracked him down after over half a year. But to be totally transparent, you weren’t really doing this to get him back, necessarily. You knew that was probably never going to happen. You were doing this because you needed to try. You needed to go there, and get hurt, and come back knowing you did everything you could: you’d never be able to live with yourself if you did anything less than that.
You couldn’t start your new life until you had put everything else to bed. And if that meant being 100%, painfully certain that you and Sebastian could never be together, then that was just how it needed to be.
After two weeks of looking, there still weren’t any reasonable flights to Bucharest, so you booked another trip by train, figuring you could use the three day trip to brush up on the key Romanian phrases you were going to need as well as prepare your speech.
Yes, your plan was a speech. You didn’t have a back-up plan. You didn’t even have a return ticket back to London yet.
A passage by Yeats came to mind; But I, being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.
In all your life, you’d never understood before why someone would want to only have their dreams. But now, here you were… and yes, it felt terrifying and vulnerable and uncomfortably naked, but it felt pretty damn good, too.
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With a sigh, you scribbled out the last sentence you’d written, tossing the trash paper aside. You looked up out the window at the scenery flying by in a blur, worried that if you didn’t look out from the train every once in a while you’d get motion sickness.
The sun was beginning to set already, the green of hills and trees tinted orange. You only indulged in it for a moment, though, before getting back to this god-forsaken speech you were deadset on finishing before you arrived in Bucharest tomorrow. At first, you’d figured the translating would be the most difficult part… but writing in English wasn’t exactly a piece of cake, either. You had so much to say, and suddenly so few words for any of it.
You’d probably done more editing on this than any of your novels combined; the crumpled up pages spilling out of your wastebasket were proof enough of that.
“And I’m a fucking writer!” you groaned aloud, to no one in particular. “How is anybody else supposed to be able to do this, if I can’t?”
Other people aren’t as emotionally constipated as you, the voice of your inner critic reminded you plainly, making you roll your eyes at yourself.
A rap at your door made you sit up straighter and turn around. A stewardess slid open the frosted glass slightly to give you a friendly smile. “Is everything alright, ma’am?”
Your brows furrowed at the sound of her accent. “Is that a Romanian accent?” you asked.
“Yes, ma’am,” she nodded.
“So you’re fluent in Romanian and English,” you concluded.
“And Portuguese, yes ma’am,” she agreed.
“Could you come in here for a moment and help me translate something?”
She seemed slightly confused at the request but stepped forward, sliding the door most of the way shut behind her. Leaning beside you on the desk, she picked up your handwritten letter and blinked her wide, brown eyes a few times. You felt slightly embarrassed knowing she was reading such intimate thoughts, but that was how it felt the first time someone read anything you wrote so you were pretty much used to it by now.
“I usually ask the passengers what brings them to Bucharest,” she mumbled after a moment. “This is the most interesting thing so far. Am I reading this correctly, that you intend to confess your love to someone you met—” she scanned the page quickly— “during a vacation in Hungary?”
“Yup,” you smiled awkwardly, popping the ‘p’ at the end of the word.
“And he doesn’t speak English?” she assumed; you nodded. “And… you don’t speak Romanian?”
You nodded again, and she breathed in and out quickly, sitting beside you as she stared at the letter.
“I’ve never seen anything like this before,” she explained.
“Sorry for sucking you into the entropic vortex that is my life,” you chuckled.
“I don’t mean to pry,” she sighed, setting the letter down, and you laughed a little internally at the idea that she was worried about prying when she just read the most personal piece of writing you’d ever put to the page, “but do you think this is… enough? I mean, to build a relationship on?”
You just gave her a shrug. “I have no idea. But, you know, I spent my whole life worrying about stuff like that. I dated my husband for seven years before we got married, because I wanted to be sure. I was initially interested in him because he was successful and ambitious, and it made me feel like this was a really secure relationship that I could rely on. I double majored in English and Computer Science because I wanted a more stable career to fall back on in case being a writer didn’t work out, and even though it did, I’ve spent most of my career publishing what I thought people wanted to read instead of what I wanted to write, so I’d have a better shot at a good paycheck. I grew up thinking the best thing I could ever have was security. And now I’m divorced, watching my royalties shrink every month, more insecure in every way than I’ve ever been, and I’m realizing that the choices I made didn’t give me what I wanted. I gave up so much in the name of safety, and I let the one good thing I’d ever found go, so I could go back to being the same person I always was. I’m ready to settle again, if this doesn’t work… I’m ready to accept that this is just the way life goes, and be thankful that I got a taste of the kind of stuff I thought only existed in the sort of books I’d read but never write.”
She swallowed as she looked at you, and you felt your eyes water as you stared out the window towards the dimming scenery one more time, smiling at the sight of a distant village, a church with a steeple, vineyards and farms. Someone’s whole life is in that little town, you imagined, and they’re just watching your train go by like they see every other day.
“Sebastian gave me more security than I’d ever had before, even though the whole thing was such a ridiculous little whirlwind, and nothing like I ever imagined my life could be. But he made me want to be honest and raw and write sappy letters like the one you just read. He doesn’t have any money, at least as far as I know, and I haven’t known him for seven years, and on paper it makes no sense… but you would understand if you knew him. If you felt that joy that he radiates, if you saw him live his simple little life like it’s the best thing in the world. You would understand if you knew how much I needed this. You would understand if you had been just as miserable being who I’ve been for so long, and finally had a chance to be somebody you think you were maybe meant to be the whole time. So, if I never see him again, I hope I just get to thank him.”
You waited for her to say something, but furrowed your brow at the long moment of silence, looking back from the window finally and finding her staring at you with a tear running down her cheek. When you met her gaze, she quickly wiped it away with a sniffle and looked down at your desk again. “Let’s get to translating, shall we?” she announced with a half-smile.
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You noticed the way the other passengers looked at you as everyone was in line to deboard from the train car; you stuck out like a sore thumb, since everybody else was carrying heavy luggage and all you had was a backpack.
In your defense, you really had no idea how to pack for a trip where you knew neither the duration nor the true final destination. So, it was mainly filled with your essentials, a few clothes for any kind of weather, and enough leu to buy anything else you needed along the way.
The stewardess was waving goodbye to everyone as they shuffled out into the train station, occasionally stopping to shake a hand or give directions to nearby destinations. When you were just about to pass by, though, she pulled you into a tight hug.
“Good luck,” she whispered, holding you just a moment too long before pulling back and giving you an encouraging look. “If he doesn’t take you back, feel free to blame my translation… because if he knows what’s in your heart, I know he’ll say yes.”
“Yeah, that’s the hard part isn’t it?” you laughed weakly. “Thank you for your help. I guess if I come back alone for the return trip tonight, you’ll know how bad it went.”
“Then I hope I don’t see you again,” she winked.
It being a major train station and all, cabs were waiting around every corner so it was pretty easy to grab one and give them the address you already had written down for this exact purpose.
“This is pretty far,” the driver explained, “on the edge of town. Not a tourist spot.”
“Good, because I’m not a tourist,” you nodded, already only giving him half your attention as you pulled out the translated speech to practice.
“And you can afford this?” he pressed. You sighed and dug through your bag, pulling out a haphazard stack of bills and handing them through the plastic partition.
“Is this enough?” you asked, and he didn’t answer, just taking the money and starting the car as you smiled and leaned back in your seat.
As much as you had tried to convince yourself to not get your hopes up, the butterflies in your stomach felt more like whole birds at this point, demanding to break free as you practiced the words hand-written on the page over and over again, committing it all to memory.
“What are you reading?” the cab driver asked after several minutes.
“Oh, nothing,” you mumbled, “sorry if I’m bothering you, you can turn on the radio.”
“No, it’s not bothering me, but what you are saying… it’s very odd. It sounds like something from a play, or movie,” he explained.
“Um, it’s not,” you replied, a little embarrassed. “But does it sound like it’s from a good movie? Like, if you heard a character say this to another character, would you think they should get together?”
“I… don’t know,” he answered, sounding confused. “I mean, it depends on what happened, right? How they met, how well they get along…”
So, you told him the whole story, as succinctly as possible (which is not very succinct at all). By the end, he was actually giving commentary as you spoke.
“Why the hell did you leave?” he interjected, clearly irritated with you. “You loved him!”
“Yeah, well, sometimes love isn’t enough! I loved my husband too, and look how that turned out,” you defended.
“But that’s different. That was love for all the wrong reasons.”
“I promise, it felt very real at the time,” you shrugged.
“And now?” he countered. “You realize that this man— Sebastian, right?— is real.”
“I hope I’m right this time,” you offered. “But even if I am, he may not agree.”
The driver scoffed, taking a hand off the wheel to wave dismissively. “If he’s anything like you said, then he will still be completely in love with you. After all, you still feel the same way after all this time apart, don’t you?”
“If anything, I love him more every day,” you admitted, your heart beating quickly just to say it aloud.
“You know, when I met my wife, she was engaged to another man. He was rich, good-looking, and he wasn’t even a bad guy unlike this husband you describe. He was a good man, but he wasn’t right for her. They were… content together, but she wasn’t truly happy. Every night I would come to her window and beg her to marry me, because I knew that she knew we were meant for each other, but she was scared because her family wouldn’t approve and she would be a poor man’s wife.”
“How did you convince her to marry you instead?” you asked eagerly, sucked into the story already.
“I didn’t. On the day of the wedding, some people told me to go and break it up but I didn’t. I thought it would be wrong, to try to ruin her happiness and take it for myself by making a scene at the wedding. I realized she was her own woman and if she wanted to choose him, I had to let her. I had locked myself in my house, not wanting to see anyone that day, and she appeared at my door. I didn’t need to convince her because she knew the truth in her heart, and called off the wedding herself.”
“Wow,” you smiled.
“She was still in her dress!” he recalled with a hearty laugh. “She looked like an angel. We were married just a few days later. And next month will be thirty years,” he added as he lifted his left hand to show the golden band on his finger.
“Thirty years, that’s… a long time,” you sighed.
“It wasn’t always easy,” he admitted. “But it was always worth it.”
Just as you wondered what you could possibly say to that, you felt the car slow down to a stop.
“This is the address you gave me, this is it,” he explained, pointing out his passenger-side window. You leaned up against the glass and gasped in dawning fear as you saw the storefront dark and empty inside.
“No, nonono,” you whispered rapidly to yourself as you swung open the door and hopped out, pressing your face against the glass to try to get a look inside and finding what was undeniably a closed carpentry business. There was a note on the door, taped on the inside of the glass, and you knew enough Romanian to know it said something about a vacation and three months.
“Shit!” you yelped, holding your face in your hands, wondering if your journey had come to an end before it really began.
“Are you alright?” the driver asked, rolling down his window to speak to you.
“This was my only lead, I don’t have his real address,” you explained. “He used to work here, I thought maybe someone would know him…”
He sighed, giving you a sympathetic look. “Get back in, we can search nearby. You came too far to give in yet.”
But getting back in the car felt like giving in, too, which you realized as you looked back at the note taped to the carpenter's door. This was the closest you'd gotten, and it felt wasteful to leave with nothing.
Just as you were ready to hop in the passenger seat and start searching aimlessly through suburban Bucharest, or maybe look around for a Romanian yellow pages, you heard a noise from behind you, across the street; a laugh. His laugh. But it couldn’t be because it was too good to be true… and yet you found yourself whipping your head around and hoping beyond all reason that it was Sebastian.
Across the street was a restaurant, with a large patio where patrons were dining and chatting as they sat at wrought iron tables, and your eyes searched the crowd for any signs of him.
And then your gaze landed on a head of thick brunette hair, red and gold highlights so obvious now when the sunlight hit it this way. Broad shoulders wrapped in a white button-up shirt. He was facing away from you but he was looking to the side so you could see his face; he was smiling, laughing at something someone had said. And it was his smile that you recognized; it was like everything else faded away, and in that moment you thought maybe you could almost be happy with just this, just seeing him be happy even if it had nothing to do with you.
“Sebastian,” you called out to him, but he didn’t react. “Sebastian!”
His whole body turned, his eyes met yours, and you couldn't help but let the tears well in your eyes as you ran across the road to him.
He looked, understandably, stunned, and you realized he was actually waiting on a table at the moment; he said something to them, apparently excusing himself, and stepped closer to you.
But he stopped walking, not coming any closer, not exactly dragging you into his arms like you might've preferred, but with a breath to try to soothe your racing mind, you summoned your memories of the practiced letter and began. *
“Când am venit în Ungaria…” you started slowly, doing your best to remember the words and hoping your pronunciation wasn’t too awful, “nu căutam dragoste. Căutam spațiu, claritate și poate o idee de carte de un milion de dolari. În schimb, am găsit tot ce am căutat toată viața mea…”
You did your best to bite back tears, especially when his expression was nearly unreadable and you had no idea how well this was going.
“Ești tu, Sebastian, bineînțeles că ești tu,” you sighed, laughing slightly. “Ai fost acolo pentru mine când nici nu știam ce vreau de la nimeni. Ai fost prietenul meu fără să spui vreodată un cuvânt - cel puțin nu un cuvânt pe care l-am înțeles. M-ai iubit și nu știam ce să fac cu asta, pentru că uitasem cu mult timp în urmă cum se simțea să fii iubit. Și ce simțeai să iubești cu adevărat pe cineva. Dar te iubesc. Și am fost prost să te las să pleci, atât de neconceput de prost. Vreau să fim noi, Sebastian. Lasă-mă să te iubesc, mai dă-mi o șansă și îți promit că nu te voi mai lăsa să pleci niciodată.
The first thing he said was your name, and just the way he said it made you fall in love with him all over again.
“I… I dream that you would come back,” he shakily replied. “But now I cannot believe. You are my dream.”
Tears were openly flowing at this point and you wanted to run into his arms, but you tried to stay calm and hear him out. He stepped closer, almost hesitant, like you would run away if he got too close too fast.
“I love you, very much that I am sure I am insane person,” he explained with a grin, and you giggled. “We will live anywhere, do anything you would like— be my wife.”
You gasped as he pulled you into him, gripping your arms tightly as his desperation became apparent.
“Marry me?” he asked softly.
“Da,” you nodded, “yes, of course, anything—”
He kissed you suddenly, but gently, and it said more than any words in any language could.
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It was a small wedding, in the Hungarian countryside by the lake. You could remember diving into that lake for lost pages of your manuscript; you could remember looking out over the water and dreaming of this moment you were living right now, thinking it was impossible.
He didn’t have much family, but they welcomed you with open arms.
Your family, well, they were too busy with planning another wedding, for your ex-husband and your ex-sister. A few of them sent cards but the rest were suspiciously quiet. You honestly didn’t even notice… you had a new family to attend to, anyhow. And it wasn’t like you didn’t have any guests, since you were able to track down and invite a stewardess named Maria, and a cab driver named Andrei and his wife, Paola.
Sebastian’s cousins weaved flowers into your hair and his grandmother tailored her dress to fit you like a glove. A picture of his parents was hung nearby in tribute; he told you they would’ve wanted to see him get married but that he felt, in some way, they were able to even if they had passed away quite some time ago.
You realized you’d never seen him in anything even mildly formal before; in fact, the suit he wore was rather casual, all things considered, but he looked so painfully cute in it. Sometimes you thought he actually looked a bit out of place wearing a shirt, though, especially one that was buttoned up all the way.
Luckily, the shirt was halfway unbuttoned about ten minutes into the reception.
Mrs. Alberti cooked a massive dinner for everyone, and even grew the flowers that you carried down the cobblestone aisle.
And wow, can Romanians drink. You had to be careful not to try to keep up with them, because if you had you would’ve been blacked out halfway into the night and the last thing you wanted was to forget even a moment of this.
As the night started to wind down to a close, you and your new husband retired to the lakehouse, running up the stairs and finding them as creaky as always.
He wrapped his arms around you in the hall and kissed you eagerly as you stumbled back into the bedroom, tripping over the doorway and falling onto the bed together.
It felt so right to have his weight on top of you, to feel his smile against your lips, to wrap your arms around his neck.
“This room,” he mumbled into the kiss. “Do you remember first time?”
“Yes,” you nodded, “da, I remember, how could I forget?”
He grinned and moved his lips down to your neck. "I thought of you every day… I love you,” he whispered.
“Te iubesc,” you whispered back.
It was almost like the first time in so many ways: passionate, yet oddly hesitant as you rediscovered each other. It was comfortable, though… you couldn’t think of any other person you felt so comfortable with, somebody who finally got you out of your own head and who made you want to experience everything life had to offer.
You were sure you’d never gone so long without worrying about something in all your life.
“My wife,” he whispered against your skin. “This is all I had wanted… from seeing you in very beginning.”
“You’re all I ever wanted,” you sighed in return, “ești tot ce mi-am dorit vreodată, Sebastian.”
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Life with Sebastian was beautifully simple. You spent most of the day writing, usually, while he built furniture to sell and occasionally gardened with his spare time. You could always tell how busy you’d been with a new novel lately by how perfectly groomed the hydrangea bushes were.
You’d told him once that you’d come to Hungary looking for a million-dollar book idea. A Killer in Disguise performed alright, but not anywhere near that. The Language of Love, on the other hand, was definitely a million-dollar idea… about eleven times over. Sebastian didn’t seem to worry too much about how much money you made, though; he was just proud to say that he was the inspiration for your hit novel. You secretly suspected that he was more proud of your work reaching enough international notoriety to be translated into Romanian.
His English still needed some work, but you found it endearing. He was determined to get better and spent at least a half-hour each day practicing, but you hoped he wouldn’t get too perfect because you would miss the silly little mistakes he made. At least you could be sure he’d keep the accent forever… damn, that accent; and he knew exactly what it did to you, too.
In fact, you were crossing through the hall in your robe one evening when your husband’s voice stopped you.
“Darling wife,” you heard Sebastian call from the bedroom in a playful sing-song.
“What is it, Seba?” you asked with a smirk.
“Come in here, please…”
You opened the bedroom door to find most of the room covered in rose petals: most of all the bed, which was surrounded by candles, and topped with a shirtless (as per usual) Sebastian, laid on his side seductively with a long-stemmed rose (one you recognized from his very own garden) between his teeth.
“What are you doing?” you laughed. “Is this some sort of special occasion I’ve forgotten?”
You were already searching your mind for what it could be, but your two-year anniversary had passed a few months ago already and since it was spring it couldn’t be the anniversary of when you first met since that was late in the summer.
“Iss not quite a thpecial occathion yeth,” he answered before taking the rose from his mouth so he actually made sense. “I was considering it could be a special occasion, when we’re done…”
You smirked and climbed over the candles and into bed with him, taking the opportunity to run your hands over his chest. “And what occasion would that be?”
“A year from now, it could be the anniversary of when our child was conceived,” he answered.
Your breath caught in your throat, your voice reduced to a whisper of surprise. “Seba—”
“If you’re not ready, I will be understand,” he instantly added, stern yet soft. “Only if you want this, I just thought that maybe—”
You silenced him with a kiss, lacing your fingers into his hair and letting him roll you onto your back. He pulled back just enough to let you answer, but your noses were still bumping into each other and you smiled.
“I’m ready, Sebastian. More than ready,” you whispered.
He grinned and kissed you again, deeper and slower as he held your face with one hand and gripped your waist with the other. As his lips trailed down to your neck, you were interrupted with one pressing thought.
“Can I ask you something?”
He popped up and looked down at you with a smile. “Sure!”
“Why are you wearing ratty old jeans?” you laughed.
“Hey, these worked on you the first time,” he defended.
You gasped. “You don’t mean those are the jeans—”
“Yes,” he nodded, “the jeans that I had been wearing when I was working on Mrs. Alberti’s cottage. And, truly, when I was finding an excuse to work outside your window.”
“Wait,” you sat up, “did you actually work outside my window on purpose?”
He laughed, hanging his head quickly before looking back at you again with a sparkle in his eye. “You are very smart, my love, except for those times when you are— how do you say? Oblivious.”
You chuckled, unfortunately very aware that he was right.
“Didn’t you ever wonder why I was building a window frame, nearly a dozen metres away from the window it was for?”
You thought for a moment before dropping your face into your hands and laughing. “No, I didn’t notice that. I was too busy giving you a thorough eye-fuck,” you recalled.
“Yes, because I was not wearing a shirt and this distracted you,” he pondered, sounding suddenly like a scientist explaining a theorem or something. “See, that’s the beauty of wearing the jeans and no shirt. The body distracts you while the jeans seduce you.”
“How about you take the jeans off and put that body on me, capisce?” you pleaded; not that you didn’t love his humor or anything, but maybe his funny bone wasn’t exactly the bone you were interested in at the moment.
He grinned devilishly and suddenly pulled your legs apart, settling his body between them as he kissed your neck again, nipping at your jawline and ear. “You’re being impatient, dragă,” he purred. “You want to have my baby that badly?”
You whined involuntarily, arching your back as his hands roamed your body and finally began to untie your robe and push the silk out of the way. “Yes, Sebastian, please—”
“Let’s just say, theoretically, I wanted to have more than one? Would you have another of my children?” he asked softly as he reached up and palmed at your breasts, teasing your nipples which were already much too hard and sensitive for how little he’d touched you. The rough denim rubbing against the inside of your thighs was oddly arousing— maybe it was the sensation itself, or maybe it was just that this was almost like the first thing you imagined when you saw Sebastian all those years ago.
“Yes,” you moaned out your answer, “yes, you know I’d do anything for you.”
“What if I wanted a big family?” he pressed. “Really big? Like, Catholic big?”
“We can have our own fuckin’ Brady Bunch, Seb, I just need you right now,” you begged, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him into a hot and desperate kiss.
He decided to wait until afterwards to ask what a ‘Brady Bunch’ was. You decided to wait until afterwards to ask when he’d learned how to use the word ‘theoretically’.
sfarsit; the end
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oneoftheprettynerds · 4 years ago
Text
Fixed: Dark!Steve x Reader (Mob AU)
Chapter 4 in the Lipstick and Crayons Series.
Chapter 3: Love So Soft
Main Masterlist
A/N: It’s shorter than my usual updates but I’m busy so sorry for the delay. My final exam dates have come and all I can do is pray right now lol. Please pray for me if you can, this sis is out here writing fanfics for yall instead of studying so, haha. ANyways, enjoy babies! Shit happens in this chapter.
Warning: Non-Con, Sickening Threats, Mob Themes, Violence, Death, Manipulation, a mild mental breakdown, Cheap Tricks.
Genres + Characters: Mob AU, Single Parents AU, Steve Rogers x Reader.
Summary: Steve can’t ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can’t get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob.
Word count: 5K
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Chapter 4: Fixed
You didn’t sleep that night. Or the next few. Your hands shook every time you got a flashback and even though you were numb to emotions that entire day, tears threatened to spill whenever your mind took to you to that overpriced kitchen again.
Now that he had gone to a dangerous and unnerved assaulter from a Dad trying to take care of his daughter, your mind wouldn’t put anything past him. You knew that in the back of your mind that he was a mobster and your ‘friendship’ was alarming to say the least, but now there was no denying his resources and power and the very obvious threat to your life lingering in the air.
At least before you had the luxury to be oblivious and ignorant, not anymore though. Steve felt even more unhinged and liberal now, even messaging you daily, greeting texts that you obviously ignored. He knew you both were aware that you never handed him your number and he felt no need to hide his pursuit.
You read most of the messages, not bothering with a single reply though. You tried to block him but somehow your phone would still receive messages from his number, even though his contact would always peek back at you from the otherwise empty blacklist.
As if his torment wasn’t ample, another message thread from a different number would forward you alarming images, photos of Grace in her daycare, on a class trip to the park and even her playing in your backyard. You had no doubt that this was another game of his to show you his resources.
You skipped daycare for a few days, your mental health worse than it was after the carnival attack, because now you had a personal tormentor and you cursed yourself for falling into this mess. At times, you believed it wasn’t your fault really, you just helped a kid and this situation spiraled itself but what would pointing fingers now get you? The harsh truth was you were in a calamitous situation now and every step from now on had to be thought out.
So, you let Grace attend her daycare and acted if nothing was amiss or altered, after the few initial breakdown days of course, kept going to your job and earning the bread. You considered your options, you really wanted to go to the cops or a higher fair power but those were few these days, almost non existent in your city. You also vaguely recalled meeting three of the Captains of the PD at Sarah’s birthday, all smiley and doe eyed for Steve. You knew they wouldn’t help, fucking kiss-asses.
Maybe you would have to move somewhere else, perhaps to your hometown, at least till things cooled down or better yet were forgotten? But that trail was very predictable and you didn’t want your parents in this mess.  
You also came to know that Steve had inserted himself in the other spheres of your life. You were sure your location was always being sent to him, the knowledge a courtesy of the black car following you while you travelled to home at some late day’s end.
Aiden told you whereabouts were easy to track, when you inquired ambiguously. Another instance was when you went to the bank to deposit cash for your debit card, you came face to face with an enormous amount already there. Somehow, the limit on your credit card was also extended. How, you knew. The clerk told you about an email you must have gotten in regards to it, you dismissed that justification away and told them to not accept the cash. To sum the discussion, they weren’t helpful and had no policy against anonymous donors.
Aiden, your trusted coworker cum pal, sensed the shift in your aura and fidgety form very easily, pestering you with questions and you decided to turn to him, stressed and tired and ready to do something. His questioning eyebrows made you confess vaguely but you refused to tell him the extent of it. Just that his prediction came true and you needed help. Let’s just say, Aiden was a good man.
With time, Steve’s ‘affectionate’ messages became deranged, and you found it harder to act nonchalant in your daily life. You were thankful he didn’t come to visit you, possibly occupied with the rumored war between the mobs. You just prayed for a few more days of ignorance, just enough time to think and do something.
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“What do you mean someone collected her?!” You had a hard time controlling your voice, you were about to burst, in tears or with anger, you didn’t know.
“The man was verified in the emergency contacts and we got a letter signed and approved by you to skip the day an hour into the first activity.”
“A man? Emergen-, wait no! What fucking approved letter?”
You had three emergency contacts, your mom in another state, Aiden, and one of the other kid’s mom you had grown close to. Aiden was with you at work all day, so did someone disguise themselves as him? And what was the deal with the letter signed by you? You surely didn’t remember writing and authorizing one.
The boy, Pietro, who had been the receptionist for as long as you could remember, shuffled through the chaotic piles of paper and presented a letter to you, and your blood froze as your eyes skimmed the font.
Your beautiful cursive stared right back at you and you knew that no one would ever be able to distinguish between this penmanship and the one in the pocketbook in your clutch. No one but you. Even though you knew you had not written it, the slightly different ‘f’ and ‘g’ told you everything.
Your signature at the bottom though, was done quite perfectly and that made you even more scared.
“I did-, I didn’t write this! What the-” Your widened eyes met Pietro’s from above the paper but all he offered you was a meek smile. Your hands shook with rage and for the first time in your life, you had the urge to slap someone really bad.
“Maybe your family had an emergency to take he-”
“No, you don’t get it!” You stopped yourself from getting frantic, willing yourself to take deep breaths and think rationally. Today of all days, things had to mess up.
He didn’t know you had no family in this city, that you had a mobster after you or the subtle threats that his hired spy sent to you.
Was going to the police an option? Aiden already told you that the cops were as good as Steve’s men. But this was about your missing kid! You’d never forgive yourself if something happened to her. And you were giving Steve way too much credit, what if he wasn’t behind this all? Come to think of it, what if the other number wasn’t his?
Relax yourself! Thinking of disturbing theories wouldn’t help anyone. You thought you should go to the cops, just in case. No mentioning of Steve, just a woman with a ‘missing child’ report.
‘Missing Child’ left an acrid taste behind and you were too close to a breakdown, but your whole journey of single-parenthood taught you to kick vulnerability aside, well most of the times.
You turned and were about to leave, but Pietro stopped you. “If you are going to the cops Ma’am, they require 8 hours of inactivity or disappearance time for kids under 5.”
Well look who just read your mind.
You huffed and kept the tears at bay, your mind thinking of what to do then? Grace was obviously taken-
“How could you let a toddler leave without informing the parents?” You knew your anger was channeling out at the wrong man but didn’t he all but hand Grace to the stranger?
You beat him answering and inquired, “What did the man look like? Do you have any footage? Anything?” The wrinkles in your forehead and stress creases on your face paired with the eyebags betrayed your age surely. You were sure you had aged more this week than an entire decade, juggling your normal life with the hovering threat.
“You shouldn’t be this worried Ma’am.”
The fucking audacity.
“Your daughter recognized him, she all but ran to him and this other little girl he came with. You should maybe ask your parent-friends around? A blonde family perhaps?”
As all the emotions drained from your face and terror took over, the young lad in front of you looked smug. You wondered as if you imagined the faintest of smirks on his face.
You crumpled the letter in your hands, seething with rage as you stepped in your car. Oh, you were mad, more wrathful than ever. You could take any hits on you, any threat but not on Grace, never on her.
You were stupid, you had already decided you wouldn’t put anything past him but unknowingly, you did put this past him. You thought this man had a shred of decency to not use your kid in this adult war, being a parent himself and all but what a surprise! You were wrong.
You drove to your home, your thoughts a mix of trepidation, anxiety and fury. You were scared of him and his reach and resources but if he put Grace in any type of danger; whether to teach you a lesson or use her as bait or both, there’d be consequences.
Lord knows you killed a man a month ago Grace was threatened.
You had one thing to do before contacting Steve about Grace but you never got to do it because unexpectedly the bastard was in your home. In your home.
The black sports car outside was a huge giveaway but your suspicions were confirmed when you opened the door with your house key. The banter and giggles from inside alarmed yet calmed you; the dread of confrontation and the assurance of Grace’s safety reigned your mind.
As the door opened painfully slow like a horror movie, the sight that met your eyes made you sick with a feeling of failure. It wasn’t gore or blood or grunge, it was Steve bouncing Grace in the air and catching her while Sarah twirled around in the living room.  
This man was craftier than you thought, every action of his was calculated, each a refined step. You had been so preoccupied to avoid direct encounters with him in your little family’s life that you didn’t think he had other ways. He was always looming around with Sarah and as Grace began to trust Sarah, she consequently began to trust her blonde guardian too.
As you slammed the door behind you, Steve’s eyes snapped to yours and his smirk made you want to punch him so hard. The smugness on his face while he let Grace down without breaking eye contact told you he had no regret, no remorse. In fact, he was loving every second of this cat and mouse chase between you two.
You were a millimeter close to losing your shit, the only check being the kids in the room. But you were mad and he was going to know it.
“What the hell, Steve? Messing with my kid?” You threw your clutch onto the couch, Steve haughty by the reception of his sent message but still holding back because of the kids. He called Wanda and you didn’t really notice where she came from but you did register Steve asking to take the girls to the park for a ‘private discussion’.
As Grace passed by you, you grabbed her arm lightly, making her look at you with doe eyes resembling yours. You gave her a smile trying to ease her, but you knew she was smart enough to sense the change in the atmosphere.
Apparently, the whining Sarah wasn’t.
You looked back to Steve, your hold still on Grace and continued with a frown and raised eyebrows, “She isn’t going anywhere, not out of my sight and obviously not with you or your goons.”
Wanda had the audacity to look offended and you scoffed at her, eyes staring Steve’s down.
“Honey, I don’t think the kids should hear what I think you have to say right now.” He said nodding to Wanda to take Grace.
“You must be deranged to think I trust Grace near anyone even remotely related to you! Take your people and get out.” You held your hand up to stop Wanda and pointed towards the door with the most menacing glare you could form.
Grace looked incomprehensibly between you two, concern and confusion on her face. That might have been the first time such a tone was used in your household. The grumbling Sarah was close to throwing a tantrum, irritated by the change in the playful air or the lack of attention to her, you didn’t know. She was hanging on Wanda’s forearm, her feet slipping on your printed rug. Wanda was trying to not look hurt still by your previous statement, distracting herself by the blonde kid and you were baffled by her obliviousness to all this.
Steve, the beefy blonde Lucifer, was furious and seething. His white knuckles and ticking jaw were the most obvious giveaways, the fingers just itching to beat the shit out of someone no doubt.
Was he imagining striking you into compliance into his weird playhouse game complex? You wouldn’t be surprised given the extent of his attempt to ‘win’ you over.
The ‘get out’ tone and blatant disrespect was a bruise to his ego for sure, and by you, a middle-class woman nonetheless was a worse injury. Steve was the deadly boss to armored men in the vicinity, the kids’ father figure, according to him, and Wanda’s stern yet kind employer.
People had been killed for less and there you were, standing in all your glory, being the only person alive to reject Steve Rogers and now, the only to raise your voice at him.
You almost scoffed at his impudence to look offended, what did he expect? For you to submit to him after the stunt he pulled? His reach was scary he proved today and that any future with him in your life in any way, was a fearsome possibility to entertain but you’d be damned if you went down without a fight.  
“You can’t make me leave; we both know. You don’t have the physical edge nor the mental one. I have no problem drawing out G-U-N-S in front of the kids or to throw the warnings around, although I would prefer not to.”
Your free hand itched to slap him, like how his did minutes ago. It wasn’t a mankind problem about men thinking they were entitled to everything; it was a Steve Rogers’s problem. Of course, with him consent didn’t matter. If he had a ‘housewife, kids and fences’ fixation, he’d make it come true.
“Do you even listen to what I say? Or your own words even? Please, go ahead! Traumatise my kid and also yours in your wooing process! Why are you so obsessed? Leave us alone, you freak! I just ignored few messages!” You had a hard time maintaining your cool, if there was any left. You were sure you were scaring Grace and no matter what happened next, you knew she was already traumatized by this entire ordeal already. You were so sorry, so, so, so sorry to your poor baby caught in this mess.
You knew, no, you hoped, he wouldn’t pull out the gun, his actions at the carnival a proof, you remembered how he hid his gun on finding Sarah. That threat was empty but the next one wasn’t, his words making you freeze in your spot.
“I think you keep on misunderstanding me, sweetheart. I don’t make empty promises,”
Posh word for threats.
“For starters, maybe I should pay my future in-laws a visit in their blue duplex. They might need help with the vast garden they have, it is the season for ‘violets’, isn’t it?”
As you froze with your parents being brought up, he also cooled, albeit differently, smirking once again gaining the upper hand, not that he lost it if you were being honest.
“Isn’t threatening my kid enough for you, Steve?” You hated how your loud voice almost broke, your anger slowly subsiding into helplessness and you hated that. You hated his guts, his entitlement, his claim; everything about him.
“You still don’t see it, do you? Our family of four is the most important thing to me right now and I’m not above doing anything to save it.”
“There is no family of four Steve! I keep explaining and you keep coming back to square one with all this bullshit!” The curse word did tick Steve off but he would correct that later, when bigger things weren’t at ploy.
“Your ignorance makes me a little mad sometimes sweetheart and that is why I have to do all I do. You haven’t realized we need each other yet, but I’m staying until you do and even after that, I promise. You know how much it pissed me off to see your tickets and the packed suitcases after I’ve been nothing but nice? I was so generous to spoil you with my riches but instead I find that in your finances.”
This fucker knew. Of course, he did!
You were wondering in the back of your head what had prompted this visit with so many threats and warnings and anguish. He was pissed even before you ‘acted out’, he tracked the tickets and the plan and that meant he even tracked-
“You have so much to learn, but luckily you interact with quite a few people. I am most tempted to start out with this Aiden guy, trying to be the hero and giving you all the ideas. Maybe I should visit him?” Steve wondered out loud, and you flinched at his suggestion, hating how you were trapped by this man.
You couldn’t live with yourself if anyone got hurt because of you, be it your parents or Aiden or any other possibility Steve would come up with. Of course, Grace was your peak priority but you doubted he would hurt her as he threatened to harm them.
“Steve, please.” The fire was almost out, your hands trembling, Grace worried and Steve smug.
“Let the kids go and I think we can come to a conclusion.”
“Steve this needs to stop.” You said, your breaths heavy and helplessness clawing away at you.
“I won’t repeat myself.” He voiced out with a threatening edge, gesturing to Grace and Wanda, clearly telling you to first get the kids out.
For a deranged fucktard, he sure cared about the kids a lot.
You loosened your hold on Grace, patting her arm softly and nudged her to Wanda. Wanda received her little hand and enticed the kids with the promise of ice-cream. Sarah clapped her hands and as the trio left, Grace did look over her shoulders at you in concern and for permission, majorly in concern though. You nodded and waved, a tear dropping as soon as the door clicked shut.
You were still staring at the door, not wanting to meet Steve’s stormy blue orbs when he began, “Today was a slip up that I won’t tolerate again. Neither the cursing nor the dramatics.”
We aren’t in a fucking play, what the fuck is he labelling as dramatics?
Your eyes slowly flickered to his, and you had a hard time not letting the tears escape except the one traitorous one earlier. The fatigue, the worry of Grace’s disappearance, the threats to your friends and family were all catching up to you. It took all in you to stay strong and not fall down right now.
“Steve this isn’t funny anymore. It’s sick and you know it! I just said no! Was that so inexcusable that you had to follow up with this? You have violated me for that, broken into my home and now kidnapped my daughter! At what extent will you stop?” You broke down finally, arms a flailing mess as fat tears rolled down. Nothing scared more than the helplessness this moment. He won and he knew it. The carnival incident was nothing in comparison to this. The only good thing you could hope in all this was a safe Grace but that too only if you complied, which seemed like what you would do now given your attempts at fighting back and scampering have failed laughably.
“Gosh, I forgot how theatrical women are. You are smart darling; you know what I want from day one, just a happy family. Nothing that horrendous has happened and especially not as badly as put it. I’m just looking out for you and me in the long run.” Steve slowly treaded towards you, his hand extended to pat your arm comfortingly but you involuntarily flinched at contact and stepped back. Steve clearly didn’t like that as he caught your arm in a bruising grip and jerked you towards him. Manhandling you as your wet hands rushed to ease his grip was not a tough task for Steve, a surprise to none.
“Stop trembling like I’ve actually done something to harm you!”
Steve clearly didn’t know how to comfort women and it showed.
You stopped with the cowering away, even though it disgusted you to be this much in close proximity with your assaulter. He clearly had anger issues and no clue how to solve them. You needed to steer the conversation right and get him out. You could see your hands visibly shake as you put them on his chest, just to create some distance and in a way of surrendering to not fight. The tears slowed but you don’t think they stopped; it was hard to tell with a million other things on your mind.
As your eyes made contact, Steve loosened his grip, clearly a bit satisfied by your submission, as he began counting to help you breathe. As much as you hated to admit, it helped you and you got a flashback to the time when you freaked out on him about Grace at that extravagant dinner date. That was a sweet gesture then, not so sweet now. Funny how drastically things change with time.
It wasn’t so much Steve’s help as it was your own mind telling you to be fucking smart about the whole ordeal right now.
“Good. Better. Now let’s talk. Why were you planning to run away? I’ve been busy and coming home to find out that wasn’t joyful, you know.” His smile suggested a better mood than before but his voice, his husky voice always had this daring edge that almost challenged you to defy him but at the same time warned you of unpleasant consequences if you did.
“Steve, I’m scared.” You spoke with utmost honesty. “The part of the world you associate yourself with scares me. You can’t blame me for not wanting that life for Grace, I mean you have a kid of your own. Wasn’t the carnival attack specifically on Sarah?”
The reasoning was right but you knew you triggered him the moment his smile evaporated. He either felt insulted as a parent or disrespected in his profession or probably both.
He was fighting his inner demons already and you pointing it out was a slap to his face, a hit he didn’t want to take.
“That was a slip up, I admit. Never again. I’m only human, okay?” He convinced himself and you, his grip tightening a bit again.
Oh no, not the right direction to take.
You reckoned he still had nightmares about it like you, he really did love Sarah a lot, all things aside.
“Besides, I am looking out for you! Out for you and Grace and Sarah. I remember my promise of never putting either of them in harm’s way ever again.”
You definitely didn’t trust his security or his people because what sort of a mobster let his daughter get targeted and possibly abducted? You definitely didn’t know the whole story or if it was just a bad day but he wasn’t a person that deserved some slack. Despite all this, you knew what all he held above you, above a common man. He might not be ‘Kingpin’ skilled but a threat to you nonetheless.
Before you could stop yourself, you blurted out, “Is that what you call following me around, huh?” which you immediately regretted.
“Trust the process, baby. Everything is just to protect you.”
Is that what he called stalking even Grace around and twistedly enough, sending you proof of that? The anonymous thread of photos was another nightmare of yours, thanks to him. The last being a candid photo inside Grace’s room, her sleeping in her bed this morning and that’s when you decided you needed to get out. Of course, that didn’t go as planned.
“How am I supposed to do that when you have cameras in my house?!” You scoffed and he reeled back at the accusation, having the nerve to look impressed at being uncovered and caught red-handed.
“Oh my fucking God, it was you! You sick pervert!” You jumped out of his grip, your eyes wide and horrified. “I wasn’t aware of what to make of it but of course, it was you! Who else would be sick enough to do that?” You let out a humorless chuckle. You always put things past him even when you keep telling yourself you shouldn’t. When will you ever learn huh?  
You were full on panicking yet again, this man was an assaulter, a stalker and a creep too. It would have made a good dark, psychological thriller for you to watch if you weren’t the protagonist about to suffer his obsession.
He reached out to steady you again, but you whipped and stumbled back, realizing too late that you elbowed Steve’s nose so bad that there was a crunch. That, right there, was the look a man real-fucking-furious on Steve’s face and now you could see the feared mobster, the man who was personally terrorizing you under the beautiful, Greek God façade.
Steve reacted so fast even with an injury that in a split second, your view of his face turned into a view of his crotch.
“You do realize that there are others ways for me to teach you obedience? I think it’s fucking time you show me your gratitude for my care and attention and apologize for your misconduct and unkind response.” Steve spoke with a hoarse voice, a voice running out of patience and just about done with defiance.
His hand fisted your hair, maintaining eye contact while he nodded between you and his crotch. You knew what he wanted, what he was expecting as ‘thanks’.
“Steve, please no, you don’t-”
His other hand grabbed your jaw, stopping you from speaking as he warned, “I think you have done just enough talking for today, so why don’t you put that tongue to a better use and show me how sorry you are. Better make it convincing because I’d hate to pay one of your friends a visit and then bitch about a nasty blowjob.” He smirked at the end of his monologue, eyes shining with triumph and amusement.
You wouldn’t let him harm anyone else, you couldn’t. You and your daughter were already knee-deep in a pit and at this point, it’d just be cruel to drag someone else in. With shaky hands opening his pants, you just hoped you could get Grace out before you eventually were buried in it.
“Now that’s a good girl. Submissive is a sexy look on you.” His hands patted your hair, playing with your tresses while yours pulled his pants and then briefs down.
His member jerked out, almost slapping you in the face as you recoiled at his insolence to get hard and erect at your torment. Your disdain must have shown which he took as admiration and derision to take his affluent cock in.
“No need to get shy, I have faith you’ll be able take it just as well in your pretty pussy as you will right now. Open up-”
“Steve, I beg you-”
Just as you had cut him off, he interrupted your pleading. Your gag reflex was probably the most efficient in the world but that turned this narcissist on. It had been years since you had done it, never with a man as beefy as Steve.
His taste was salty and if you had to put it into better words, it was the like overpriced sea salt flakes that you never bought. High and pricey and for the entitled.
Your hands clutched at his thighs as you blacked out multiple times; your jaw aching, uvula swaying and tears escaping. Him forcing himself on you brough a new sense of vulnerability as your body trembled. Steve relished like a sadist, practically rutting into you all by himself as you just sat there with your jaw unnaturally open.
His obscene moans and groans were crass and nauseating and you just prayed for this to be over soon and for no one to walk in on this, especially your kid.
It seemed like it would never end, your body dehydrating with all the spit it produced, the drool dribbling and landing just beside your knees on your printed rug. You would have to throw that out.
The tears stooped after some point, the sobbing an unnecessary action that just tired you out more on this eventful day. You moved your tongue around to prevent your teeth from scratching him when he shifted angles. If this was what he did on slightly mad, you didn’t want to find what he did for a more serious punishment.
Apparently, that action was something that turned him on even more, his breath hitching as neared closure. In broken whispers he demanded that again and you complied, wanting to get done with it.
He growled in the moment of his release and you tried to lean back but his grip didn’t relent. “Swallow.” His grainy, exasperated voice said out loud and you knew better than to defy.
He released you and you fell on to the rug, hip bruising by knocking into some furniture and tears coming back again after being hydrated by his seed. He packed himself, his smile smug and content as his expressions truly resembled ecstasy being personified.
“You be a good fiancée from now on and maybe you’ll have all your friends alive and present at our wedding. No cheeky business from now on, got it?” Steve hummed then and strutted out, not even bothering to listen to your reply.
As soon as the door slammed, your eyes closed and your demons danced again.
There was no right direction to take when you were stuck in a loop.  
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spencersmagic · 4 years ago
Text
a knife twists at the thought - SR
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Prompt: a knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark - Arctic Monkeys
Summary: Spencer is new to this, and the poor boy is terrified
Couple: Fem! Reader x Spencer Reid (i picture season 2/3 Spencer but y’all do you)
Category: angst
Word count: 3086 words
Warnings: general criminal minds stuff, mentions and descriptions of torture, descriptions of loss, HAPPY ENDING!!, my 3am writing, tooth rotting love, uhmm spoilers for Orwell’s 1984 (if anybody hasn’t read it), humiliation, Spencer crying and breaking my heart (lmk if you need anything warned or trigger tagged).
A/N This is very loosely based on 2x15 (VERY LOOSELY). I’m quite proud of this one :)
masterlist // 505 series taglist
*****
They say you never see it coming.
When a tragedy occurs, and someone’s life is turned upside down forever, they never see it coming. It just... hits them. Like an oncoming car ramming into a bystander who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
No one has time to prepare. In our time-starved lives, there is no place for such a warning.
One day, you just wake up. And they’re not next to you. They’ve disappeared, leaving the stickiest, most unforgettable parts of themselves behind for others to grieve to: the smell of their shampoo in the pillows they used to share, the seconds just as you wake when you still feel like you have them - only to gain full consciousness and realise they left you behind - even the fucking jars, which never seem to be open because he’s just not there to do it.
And you feel your heart breaking all over again as your soul sticks to the parts that couldn’t be erased with the rest of him as he left. Because you needed him, you had him, and now he’s gone. No warning, no letter, no signs which could’ve helped you foresee such a tragedy, because how could he? He didn’t disappear on purpose.
She doesn’t understand why he's so absent. So unequivocally missing. And the person she would turn to to ask these riddled questions isn’t there to answer. Because he’s gone.
But they’re not there yet.
And she feels so close to that feeling - the helplessness, the pain, the empty cups next to her bed because he always carried them to the sink when she was finished with her tea the mornings of those rare days they got to sleep in. Those days when they had time. She can practically touch, with the tip of her fingertips, the waves of pain that would surge over her if he was gone for one more fucking minute.
She has to remind herself, over and over again, like a mantra. He’s not gone yet.
The “yet” at the end of her mantra just breaks her all over again.
She was always the one to tell Spencer “if you worry before something happens, in case it goes wrong, and then it does, you’ve managed to suffer twice through something painful for absolutely no reason”. It usually worked. Needless to say, she felt like a hypocrite right about now.
Because Spencer is gone. And she doesn’t know how to bring him back.
She knows only to watch the monitor, never once blinking, taking in everything that happened in that damned livestream - every word, every sound, every reference. She can only try to hear anything over the whimpers and sobs her love was letting out as he’s tortured by that man. She can only hear the cracks of his knuckles against Spencers soft skin, the same soft skin she had kissed mere hours ago before telling him to “be careful”. Her own way of saying the three little words the couple was too young to hear. She can only see his lips parting, sobs rumbling out of his body as the unsub abuses his frame over and over again - same lips which had kissed her forehead before telling her “i always am”.
Then again, she isn’t sure if its his voice which is filling her head with painful sounds or if her mind is playing tricks on her, memorising the horrifying vibrations coming from his chest for her to ever consider anything else. She hasn’t stopped hearing him since she turned on that damned computer.
She isn’t sure she’ll ever stop hearing it.
**
As a man of great intellect, Spencer always recurred to knowledge to understand difficult occurrences in his life. Burying himself in textbooks, novels, poems, and even music to understand pain, and himself having a life filled with it, he was an incredibly knowledgeable man.
He knew much. But right now, he only knew one thing.
In Orwells’ 1984, as Winston was being tortured (much like Spencer is right now), Orwell described the following:
“Never, for any reason on earth, could you wish for an increase of pain. Of pain you could only wish one thing: that it should stop. Nothing in the world was so bad as physical pain. In the face of pain there are no heroes, no heroes”.
And, as a man who had acquired most of his intellect by immersing himself in trivial content in the face of pain, he found himself doing the same thing as the unsub hurt him over and over again, each blow seemingly more painful than the last. As his skin bruised, a causality of his abusers torment, he analysed the seemingly logical quote.
It must depend on the person, he was sure. In fact, a number of factors must be taken into consideration at this statement. For starters, Winston lives in a society incapable of any human feelings. There is only dominance, and those who attempt, in vain, to challenge it. Surely, if he had felt happiness, like the one you feel when the first day of spring rolls around, or like the one that creeps up on you as you look into the eyes of your loved one, surely, he would understand that some things can outweigh pain.
Love.
If Spencer’s mind could make sense of what he was feeling right now, he would understand, something he would figure of were he to leave this damned place, that he was thankful to the Gods, were there any, for having the unsub kidnap him and not Y/N.
Winston hadn’t understood emotional pain because emotions weren’t dealt with regularly. They were discouraged. That’s why he believed that there are no heroes in the face of pain. Because he doesn’t understand emotional pain.
He knew he was suffering. He also knew that Y/N was at the other side of the blinking camera suffering more than he could ever imagine.
**
They say emotional pain lasts 12 minutes. Anything one feels after this would be the aftermath of the cause of the pain in question. Pure emotional pain, the one you practically feel in your chest, the one that says “i can’t think, feel or be. not until this feeling dissipates”.
She had learned this from Spencer.
And she wished it were true. As she watched that damned monitor, she wished that all the venom the unsub was spewing at Spencer, all the verbal abuse, was long forgotten. She wished he could only feel the physical pain. Because the mind is incredibly stronger than the body - it could keep him awake, alive, for just enough time for the team to rescue him.
The entire team had huddled around the monitor around her. She was painfully aware that other people were seeing this. Which meant it wasn’t her imagination. It wasn’t another one of those damned dreams she would have when she slept a little too far away from Spencer’s touch.
They had only been together for two months, but his touch was all that could get her to fall asleep.
She jolted as the unsub landed another slap on Spencer’s cheek, swiftly grabbing his hair for him to look into the camera. He had a cut above his right cheek, just where she would kiss him in the mornings, and bruises all over his neck, jaw and left eye.
“Say hi to your team!” he mocked Spencer, chuckling darkly as he moved his almost lifeless body around for the team to watch in horror. Spencer let out a heartbreaking sob, feeling so vulnerable.
“Why don’t we make this interesting?” he jumped, as if he had gotten an idea. The unsub reached behind himself to grab a pistol, clicking off the magazine safety to put one bullet in one of the eight slots, leaving the other seven free. He pointed it at Spencer’s temple.
Her entire body shook the thought of seeing Spencer’s lifeless body, held up only by the ropes and that sick man’s grip around his curls. The same curls she grabbed as she kissed his face when she wanted his attention.
“I’m going to ask you some questions...” he said, voice dripping with sickening sweetness as he turned the roulette, “and if i don’t like your answer i’ll pull the trigger! Let God decide what I do with you. Sounds good?”. He wanted to humiliate Spencer.
However, Spencer made the mistake of not answering him. He was quickly reminded as the barrel of the gun pointed right between his eyes, pulling the trigger, a loud bang! sound expanding through the barn.
“I asked you a question!” he suddenly yelled into Spencer’s face.
“Y-yes, Sir” he whimpered, shaking at the ease at which the man pulled the trigger.
“Good, you’re learning”.
**
She experienced it by bits. Hotch’s hoarse voice. “Talk to me Garcia”. “We’ve got coordinates”. Everybody rushing to the SUVs. Tripping over her own feet on the way to the car. Morgan’s voice. The iPad, which still carried Spencer’s whimpers and the man mocking tone.
“I’ve got your diary, Spence” his sing-song voice didn’t match the disgusting man she was looking at. Nothing made sense.
“And I wanna know why...” he drew out the ‘y’ as he looked for something between the worn pages between his hands.
Of course she knew Spencer owned a diary. But she was mature enough to keep her hands to herself and her eyes on her own pages as he wrote on his, eyebrows creasing as he recalled all which he had experienced during the day. His face would twitch slightly at the memories, both good and bad, as he basically described his day word by word.
“...why did you wait until you were 24 to lose your virginity?” he asked in a clear attempt to humiliate and ridicule Spencer in front of his team.
“I-I didn't-” he could barely finish a word before a sob wrecking through his body at the humiliation, chest rumbling and voice wavering. “I didn’t want to lose it before, i w-wasn’t in a hurry” he rushed out. The man brought the pistol to his own chin, tapping it as he thought. “Hmm... I’m satisfied with your answer. Let’s dig deeper, shall we?” he asked as he went back into the pages.
“ooh! This one is new” that sick bastard was having fun with this, completely unaware that the team was less than 5 minutes away from their location.
“Care to read what you wrote three days ago? Right here” he turned the pages so Spencer could read them, though he was painfully aware of that entry he was talking about. His body shook violently. “P-please. D-don’t ma-make me do t-this” he whimpered, body feeling defeated.
“Wrong answer” the unsub said before pointing a gun at him and pulling the trigger.
A shriek was heard from the iPad. The SUV went silent.
“He’s alive” she whispered, unable to speak up. “He-” she swallowed. “He’s alive. We’re not there, yet” her mantra became a reminder that she hadn’t been quick enough to help him. She had the tools to save him. Every second she had the knowledge to save him and didn’t was another second she remained impotent at the risk of losing the love of her life.
Spencer’s voice spoke from the iPad.
“C-can you at-at leas-st turn off t-the ca-amera?” he said between sobs.
And it hit her.
What hurt him the most wasn’t the memories he had to relieve, but the fact that the rest of the team would have to hear his most intimate thoughts. His deepest secrets.
He could bare the pain. The humiliation? That broke him.
“Aww” the unsub chuckled mockingly, “are you embarrassed?” he said, slouching down to look into his eyes. “Well too fucking bad!” he screamed into his face, spitting with every word he spewed at him. Spencer’s sobs got louder.
“O-okay okay!” Spencer caved, accepting the journal that got shoved into his face.
“Read, pretty boy” the unsub sang. That son of a bitch was having fun.
“We’re two minutes away, Y/N” Hotch said. Maybe it was he sobs, which were barely audible to herself, having accepted them as second nature after all the heartbreak she was experiencing, but Hotch needed her to be okay.
His own heart thumped into his chest, feeling as helpless as he’d ever felt. Seeing a member of his team - someone he was supposed to take care of, someone he was supposed to keep safe - was sobbing as he was physically and emotionally tortured. But he was painfully aware of the feelings Y/N was experiencing. The sheer fear that was running down her veins at the idea of them running out of time.
After a few sobs, Spencer started reading, interrupting himself occasionally with his whimpers:
“It’s been three months. Today, three months, seven hours and forty-six minutes ago, she did what I didn’t have the courage to do. She asked me out. “I’ve been wanting to ask you pretty much since the day i met you” she had said. Those words keep ringing in my head like a beautifully written symphony, intrinsically designed to make me face my deepest fears. Opening my scars one by one, dissecting them and reaching the simple conclusion that i was a coward.
She didn’t say it, but what she meant was “i’ve been waiting for you to do it, but you never did, so i had to”. We wasted time - a time so precious and sacred - because i was a coward.
I’ve never felt like this before. I never understood a love so deep as to move something so stubborn as the human spirit. I’ve read textbook after textbook, and novel after novel, and still I’ve never learned more than with her. But I was a coward. And i wasted her time. I fear that I still am.
A knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark. It’s impossible for me to ever be enough for her”.
Her heart broke at this confession. Even worse at the thought that he wouldn’t’ve told her, instead inhaling fear and exhaling rejection at every breath he took next to her.
“We’re here” she heard Hotch, looking at her. She grabbed a bottle of water and dropped the iPad, not hearing the teams objections at the lack of vest and preparation and ran into the barn.
She isn’t sure if she’ll ever stop hearing his whimpers. As she runs closer, she hears them louder and louder, decorated with sobs and cries, and small, meaningless replies to his abusers’ mocking words.
She kicked the door down, the loud bang booming across the room, only helping in raising Spencer’s sobs as he feared the sound had been the result of a certain trigger being pulled. As she looks at him, she realises just how much pain he’s been put through.
She remembers Orwells words, much like how Spencer had remembered them mere hours ago. And disagrees, wishing over and over, praying to the Gods that she would be the victim of such atrocious abuse. She wished she could take his pain. Morgan joined her at her side mere seconds later, yelling. “FBI! Put the gun down!”.
Spencer used the last bit of energy to lunge forward, hitting the unsubs stomach with his head, successfully getting him on the floor for Morgan to apprehend. Y/N rushed to Spencer’s side, untying him, as his now nonexistent sobs grew louder and louder, not only at the prospect of getting out of that horrible place alive, but also at the knowledge that Y/N had heard what he had so dreadfully recited.
Spencer collapsed into her arms, crying into her in the same way she was crying into him, and she wondered just how to take away all his pain. So they cried into each other, desperately grasping each others hair, skin, clothes, anything that would make them feel like they wouldn’t have to spend another damned second without the company of each other.
Spencer was the first to break the silence.
“I need-” he stopped, coughing. She reached for the bottle of water she had brought with her because she knew he would need it. She always knew what he needed.
He chugged it desperately, stray drops falling down his chin at his eagerness. He took a deep breath trying to steady his lungs.
“I need to get out of here” he choked out.
She grabbed him under the shoulders, careful not to hurt him - not being successful, realising that there wasn’t much of him the man hadn’t hurt. Y/N pulled him out, sitting down on the grass with him. Their legs intertwined, pulling each other impossibly closer. They kissed, over and over again. Not as an act of any sexual relevance, but as a reminder that they had each other in any way, shape or form. That they weren’t out of time.
The team was certain they would stay there, never letting each other go for another minute.
After what felt like seconds in their time-starved little world, she broke the silence, which had only been filled with their own cries and occasional sobs.
“Spence” she grabbed his chin to look into his eyes. They were dull, red and hooded. He was exhausted. “Mhmm?” he let out, looking into hers. She was his solace.
“How could you ever think you were anything but completely and unequivocally enough?” she whispered the words he dreaded.
But as Spencer looked into her eyes he knew, better than he had ever known anything, that he was enough. And she was enough. He realised that which she had known for the past three months (possibly longer). They fit like two marvellous puzzle pieces.
Her hands grabbed his cheeks slowly, as to not hurt or startle him, pulling his forehead into hers. “Baby, I can’t imagine anybody else waking up to me every morning. You’re so much more than enough”, she planted a small kiss on his forehead before resuming her position. “I’ll remind you every day of the rest of my life if that’s what it takes for you to believe it”.
And with their eyes closed, foreheads and noses pressed together and legs tangled between each other, pulling each other close, closer - around grass and voices and his abuser pressed into the hood of a police car, they only felt each other. With their shaky breaths, even shakier voices, fearing any words that would leave them in case they triggered a cascade of tears down their oh so vulnerable cheeks, they were more than enough.
***
I hope y’all liked it!! Feel free to let me know by liking, reblogging, or sending me a message :) 
super cool kid taglist: @lady-anon-x​ @spencerreid-mgg​​ @eoupe​ @inlovewithbabygirl​ @galaxydefenderjulia​ @username2002​
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startanewdream · 3 years ago
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Five Stages of Starflower
Summary: James is oblivious, Lily is mostly okay with her unrequited love and Sirius has a few plans about this situation. For @keepingupwithpotters,@sunshine-marauders, @cellularphoneexplosion and @zephyrcove who all gave me the most Jily prompt of all time (“Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”) and for @magixbeans (“I refuse to stop irritating you until you give me attention.”). Thanks for helping me celebrate this day ❤
Warning only for a few f-words every now and then (Lily curses when she is upset).
Sirius knows it.
Sirius fucking Black knows it.
Lily had been careful ever since last semester when she started to realize the signs of those things. She’d tried to back away, to avoid more contact despite the fact they had exchanged letters through Summer (just normal conversation, talking about what was going on and their families and discussing their friends – it didn’t mean anything), and that they had seen each other (they just happened to be on Diagon Alley on the same day to shopping, which was smarter and safer—and also didn’t mean anything), and Lily had convinced herself that her feelings for him were entirely friendly and would remain so—if only they hadn’t become Heads together.
There was no way her feelings could remain amicable when she was required to stay together with James Potter for hours at a time, alone in the Prefects Room as they worked and planned, their hands brushing against each other sometimes; or when they would run away to share a hot chocolate at the kitchen, enjoying the fact that as Head Boy and Head Girl they could ignore a little more the curfew, and he’d make her laugh and would help her wipe off the chocolate out of the corner of her mouth.
Lily had fancied someone before, and she knew how to identify the signs, as pale as those previous signs seemed when it came to James. Still, she knew what meant the way she would shiver whenever he’d touched her, or how her heart would skip a beat when their eyes met without planning and he would grin deviously at her or how she would sit closer to him than she needed, just to catch a sniff more of that wonderful scent.
She was falling for James Potter and the worst part was that she’d totally missed the timing in which he fancied her back.
Because all those signs she saw in herself were unfortunately absent from him. James had apparently mastered the art of considering her as nothing more than his friend, because when he’d touched the corner of her mouth—and she had blinked to him, she really had, a blink that said we are alone now and you are touching my mouth can you just kiss me?—James had done nothing but smile nicely, friendly, drawing away.
And she absolutely knew he was treating her as just his friend when the very next week he’d asked her if she didn’t mind changing her Friday patrol rounds with Leanne Diggory. Fridays were the day they patrolled together until late in the night. Fridays were the days where they would go to the kitchen and share a drink and talk about life and it was their moment.
‘Sure,' she had said, acting as if she didn’t understand what his request meant for them. ‘Any particular reason?’
James had flushed then, his hand automatically flying to his hair like he did when he was nervous and after a moment he glanced at Leanne across the Prefects Room. Lily had followed the direction of his gaze; Leanne was smiling back at James and Lily understood even more.
‘Well,’ she said then, keeping her voice carefully light even as a crushing weight had taken residence in her chest. ‘It’s a pretty reason.'
She couldn’t fault James for not being interested in her anymore, but she couldn’t also just stop feeling that thing for him, not since there was no way for her to avoid him completely. So she resigned herself to having a platonic crush on James Potter, one that she administered very well until the day of the first Quidditch game of the season.
Lily had been so diligent that none of her friends had noticed her feelings for him—and she knew that because there was no way Mary or Dorcas would keep it silent if they suspected. She had been careful not to gasp when they were on the grounds and James had been dropped at the lake by Sirius, stepping out of the water and taking off his shirt to dry himself (but she had taken that memory to her heart and lost herself in dreams about him); she had not frowned when she saw James leaving his group at the last Hogsmeade trip to go talk with Leanne, flashing that dangerous grin of his to her (but she had punched her pillow in anger lately, wishing James had come to her).
And then there was the first Quidditch match and Gryffindor had won and in the post-game euphoria, Lily had made the tiny mistake of hugging James and keeping that guilty longing smile on her face when they had broken apart.
That’s when her gaze had met Sirius, and he had widened his eyes in surprise, taking in all that her smile meant—by the time Lily had rearranged her face into a normal expression, Sirius was smirking knowingly, that moron.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
He knows. Lily knows he knows. Sirius knows Lily knows he knows.
It could be worse if it were any of other James’ friends, she reasons dismayingly. Remus would have come to talk to her and urge her to share her feelings with James; Peter would spill the word to James, unable to keep a secret from him.
But it doesn’t look like any of these other scenarios is really worse as she sees Sirius’ eyes shining with a predatory look, like a wolf that knows it got his prey.
She considers running away. But Lily is no coward, there is no place for her to go permanently and she believes in keeping her enemies closer, if Sirius could be considered as one, at any chance. That’s why she keeps her ground, pretending everything is nice and not at all bothered when she sees James is near the fireplace talking with Leanne Diggory.
It won’t fool Sirius, but Lily can keep her dignity at least.
And remaining alone at the drinks table allows for him to get closer to her, which is important for her to check how much damage she did today.
‘Enjoying the party, Evans?’
Lily nearly sighs. Nearly one year of friendship with the Marauders told her they only call her by the last name when they are in full teasing mode.
James calls her a lot by Evans, though, but it sounds nice and she rather likes it.
‘Same as always. Nice party.'
‘Oh, I thought you’d be feeling… too crowded.' Sirius throws a glance towards the fireplace and Lily doesn’t need to follow the direction of his gaze to know what he is talking about. ‘Maybe you wish you were at one of those Head meetings.'
Lily pretends to be amused. ‘Heads can enjoy parties too.'
‘One of the Heads is certainly enjoying the party if the party is happening back at the throat of Leanne Diggory—’
She can control her eyes enough to not look in their direction to confirm how literal Sirius is being right now, but she cannot stop the grimace on her face fast enough; it is a spasm of hurt and anger and jealousy, and it becomes obvious that Sirius saw all these emotions when his grin just increases.
Well, too late to still save her dignity.
‘Good for him. Now, if you excuse me—’
‘Oh, I don’t,’ he replies gladly. ‘Why, you seem a little green to me, Evans.'
‘It’s my eyes, maybe you didn’t notice their colour before.'
‘Well, I never particularly cared, but I remember a young bloke reciting that your eyes were pure emerald bestowing grace upon that poor bloke’s heart.'
‘Jade,’ she corrects before she can think better of it. ‘He compared them to jades.'
Sirius’ grin is criminal now. At least, it’s making her want to murder him.
‘My, Evans, for someone that threw a hex at him you seem to have memorized his words.'
‘He kneeled to recite that poem to me in the middle of the Common Room, what else could I do?’
‘Snogged him?’ Sirius suggests, arching one eyebrow when Lily shakes her head. ‘Just imagine, if you had snogged him back then, he might not be snogging someone else right now.'
It’s a fair assumption, but this time Lily doesn’t have to disguise any particular emotion. She doesn’t regret not going out with James before; they were far too different back then. He matured a lot since those days when he would ask her out when he would be so infatuated with her that it was annoying mostly…
Unfortunately, in the list of things he changed since growing up, his feelings for her were included.
That makes her frown.
‘He is free to do whatever he wants,’ she says, a safe mid-term.
‘Or whoever he wants.’
She closes her fists, wanting to punch something; most likely Sirius’ face, though she will settle for her pillow too.
‘Are you here for any reason or you just want to piss me, Black?’
‘Mentioning that James’ hands are all over Diggory’s bum would piss you?’
‘Ah, fuck off, Sirius,’ she says, not bothering anymore to pretend anything.
He laughs—a loud carefree sound that seems like a dog’s bark to warn that something is happening; in this case, that Lily Evans is making a fool of herself.
‘I will leave you alone—if you just admit it.’
‘Admit what?’
'Are we really playing this game, Evans? Let's not go through the five stages of Lily Evans' acceptance of her undying love for James Potter, shall we?'
Lily blinks, fighting not to splurge over her drink.
'I have no idea what you are talking about, Sirius.'
'Have it your way then. I just thought you should know, I was kidding. James' tongue is carefully kept inside his mouth.'
And he indicates the fireplace. Lily looks at it now and, sure enough, though James is still talking to Leanne, he is fairly apart from her, hands untouching, in a friendly stance.
When she looks back, Sirius is not there anymore, but wherever he is she knows he is smirking, that prat. Continue reading on AO3 :)
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dancingaliensfics · 4 years ago
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♡My Prison Pen Pal♡
Helmut Zemo x reader
Word count: 1,802
Warnings: swearing, mentions of prison and crimes and slight angst to do with his family
A/N: its finally here! I havent writen a fic in a long time so hopefully you guys like this! I tried to avoid using idioms and things like that but message me if you need anything explained or reworded as I know most people aren't native English speakers
@sorcerersofnyc
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♡♡♡
His first letter came during the series finale of your favourite show. A rather inconvenient moment, you thought, so it stayed on the welcome mat until you passed through the hall on your way to bed. Picking it up, you figured you'd skim the first few lines then finish it and write a reply before work. Instead, you found yourself writing and rewriting a reply through the night. Somehow this man had managed to enthrall you with only a letter. Maybe it was the way he wrote as if he was some elegant poet whose sonnets would one day be hailed as classics. How he managed to be open and expressive, exuding a welcoming aura, and yet still seeming mysterious. Or perhaps it was simply fated by the stars that Helmut Zemo would capture your heart.
You waited anxiously for his second letter to arrive. After sending the first, you hadn't cared whether you got a response, the whole thing seemed like a bad idea to you. But your mother was insistent that you needed to meet new people and this way you wouldn't need to worry about awkward face to face conversations. Sending the first letter felt like any other chore you do in the day, done with much effort and resignment but forgotten within minutes. But the second? It felt like the most important thing you'd done in a long time. You'd even bought a first class stamp (not that it makes a difference).
You wanted to know more about this intriguing man. No, supervillain. Charged with international terrorism. Jesus christ what the fuck was wrong with you? Were you really falling in love with a supervillain after one letter? But he didn't seem evil to you. He wrote eloquently, somehow his simple and brief description of his day (he'd started reading a new psychology book, you'd have to send him some recommendations) sounded fascinating in his words.
Over time, you started to notice small things about Helmut. The way he crossed his t's, how he signed his name, but mainly that there was a romanticism to his writing. From the way he described his home, his wife, his son to his recipes for Sokovian dishes with small notes and doodles (your favourite was his shepherd's pie recipe where he helpfully noted his mother's assertion that you should always add more than you think you need). It was becoming clear to you that he wasn't the stoic and vengeful baron you expected but rather a soft, lonely and endearingly weird man who you couldn't imagine plotting to destroy the Avengers. Whilst it was his mystery that first captivated you, it was his sweet and sometimes awkward personality that convinced you to keep writing.
It took a while for Helmut to tell you about his family. You had heard on the news back when he first arrested about his motive, so you were interested to hear his perspective on his crimes. But that wasn't what you got. Instead, he told you about when he and his father used to play football when he was young and how they would play a match every time he visited, with Helmut playing against his father and son, who always wanted to play with grandfather. He told you of the songs his wife used to sing, how her voice was always loud and shaky and after years of singing somewhere over the rainbow she would still forget the lyrics and invent her own. He told you how his son was the best pianist he had ever heard. How he could play the greatest rendition of amazing grace and that he had just learnt the theme from swan lake. That he had been excited to practice it on his grandfathers grand piano the day Ultron attacked.
There was something so human about this man. His love for his family, his loss and grief, his plan to avenge his family, it was all so tragic and yet here he was sending you drawings of the flowers from his garden growing up. You wanted to hug him and yet sometimes you felt he wouldn't need it, wouldn't want it. You were wrong.
Helmut Zemo missed his family. He told you so in one of his most recent letters. He missed holding his son, brushing his wife's hair, going for long drives, waking up at 2am to comfort his son, early morning trips to the shops, cleaning up after dinner, helping with homework. Everything he listed seemed so trivial, so meaningless in the grand scheme of life and yet the memories meant so much to him.
You realised then you had never pitied him before. Not that he wasn't deserving of it, just that he didn't seem to need it. But overtime you realised that what Helmut had really needed wasn't revenge or to make a world free from superhumans, it was someone to talk to. Someone to trust. Someone who would understand his pain and not judge it. Perhaps, you thought to yourself, you could be that person.
Fuck.
You couldn't think of how to cope with this. No one you knew had ever mentioned falling in love with a criminal through letters. And as hard as you tried you hadn't been able to find a single romcom with this plot line. You couldn't tell him. You imagined with his seemingly fragile state of mind receiving from basically a stranger professing their love would at best cause him to ghost you. Especially after he confided in you, shared his thoughts and memories.
So instead you continued as normal. You sent him pressed flowers and pictures of your favourite places. Eventually, he asked what looked like, and you spent an hour trying to decide whether you should send a picture of yourself or to just vaguely describe your features. After deciding to send a picture of yourself on holiday a few months before the blip, you found yourself wondering what he'd do with it. Would he throw it away as soon as he got the letter or would he keep it, tuck it away in some book to look at whilst thinking of you?
You also found yourself wondering what he looked like in the real world. You had found pictures of him online, but they didn't feel real. He was never rarely happy. The pictures pre Ultron were clearly taken by paparazzi, so you weren't surprised he rarely looked anything other than annoyed. There were a few though, ones with his wife and son, where he clearly hadn't noticed, and some from when he was much younger and seemed to enjoy the attention. Then were those taken after his arrest.
And so you continued to wonder he looked like. How he looked in the morning, with flowers in his hair or in summer with the sun lighting his face. You wondered what his hair looked like wet, if he ever scrunched his nose in disgust. You wondered what his smile was like.
Over time, you told him more about yourself. The stress of returning home after the blip to no job, no house and your friends 5 years older. Your ex was married with kids and your sister had moved abroad. It was as if you blinked and your whole life had changed. You mentioned how it was your mum who had suggested getting a pen pal, so you could talk to someone new, who was living a different life to you, although she had meant someone in a different country not jail. Since coming back you'd been isolated and stressed with starting a new job, recovering lost information and personal belongings and moving house, so you had thought it might be good to speak to someone who didn't know you, who couldn't judge you. You told Helmut how it had been good, how writing to him had helped you, how he had helped you more than he could ever know.
No, that sounded creepy. How you appreciated his letters.
Too formal. How you hadn't expected to become his friend, but you were glad to be able to say you were.
Helmut was comforting. You knew in your head that your meeting on Friday was nothing to worry about but seeing him say it felt so reassuring. Each one of his letters made you feel relaxed, feel safe. You wanted to make him feel the same. So, as a way to repay his kindness you had told him that no matter what happened, he could always trust you. And it was true. You couldn't imagine a world where you wouldn't do anything for Helmut and although you knew he would never need it, you still wanted him to know you would always care about him, even if no one else did.
Writing to him had become as easy as talking to someone you'd known all your life. You had fallen into an easy routine, you knew when to expect his letters and you knew when you'd send a reply. The routine felt so natural that you even knew what the envelope would look like, always the same off-white with a square edged flap. The address was always the same too. Except on his last letter. Which was strange.
At first, you thought Helmut had been moved to a different prison but after frantically typing the address into Google Maps you realised it was not a prison. Fuck you had no idea what it was, but it wasn't a prison. It also wasn't in Germany.
You sat still, staring at the unopened letter for a few minutes.
You looked up at the door. You thought you heard someone knock. The post had already come and you weren't expecting people. Hell, there wasn't anyone other than your parents who would visit anyway and they would have called first. Now you were sat still, staring at the front door.
"I know you're in there, the lights are on."
It was as if you were a marionette, being moved by some strange force that was slowly pulling you out of your seat and towards the door. You didn't even register that you moved until you felt the door handle on your fingertips. The cold metal caused you to stop, as if broken out of a trance. There was a sudden realisation that if you opened the door your life would never be the same. It was sickening, a mixture of dread and excitement; it reminded you of the moment before a roller coaster drops. You repeated that thought in your head. "Your life would never be the same". Your life hadn't been the same in almost a year. What would be the harm in one more big change. So you did it. You opened the door.
His smile was beautiful.
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rostovs-lover · 4 years ago
Text
dalí on tuesday
charlie dalton x reader | cursing, smoking, brief mentions of sexual things, charlie (probably) has daddy issues, cameron | she/her pronouns | fluff | wc.2562
i am in love with charlie, this is now a charlie dalton centric blog, also ignore how terrible the title is please
anon : Hi!! I love your blog! can I request a charlie Dalton x reader fluff where reader is an artist and he visits them while they're painting? (maybe they end up wiping paint on his face?) I don't know, something really sweet at cute <33333
Charlie Dalton had been resigned to relish in small pleasures to keep himself sane at school, never did he think the library would be one of those. More specifically, the painter tucked into the basement of the library. 
                            ───☮︎───
     Charlie Dalton was a connoisseur of many things. Pretty girls, expensive wine, shitty poetry, and hand rolled cigarettes - to name a few. His imprisonment at Wellington made only one of those things readily available. So he settled - boxes of cheap smokes bought through upperclassmen, bottles of grocery store wine someone would sneak in from a party, and the two girls that occasionally came with Knox. The shitty poetry was always on deck, he had that at least. It was a tragedy to be resigned to such a bland life, there was absolutely no carpe diem-ing happening in a school that held adolescent boys to uniforms.
      It was miserable, truly, but Charlie scrapped by on the thought that soon enough there would be no more stuffy Catholic school and he could finally have a taste of freedom. In the meantime, he would have what little fun he could. The meets in the cave were always the highlight of the week. A place where he could talk and people would listen, and not because they had to but because they enjoyed it. They enjoyed his words and thoughts and presence. No one else had ever really seemed to enjoy Charlie’s presence. They could tolerate it, handle it, but they always had more pressing matters. A business meeting to attend, a bill to pay, a dinner to go to. Always something just a little bit more important and never quite enough time for Charlie. But the other Dead Poets, they valued him. He wasn’t just a kid, a college tuition to pay and a life to layout. He was a person, with interests and hobbies.
      It had been there, in the safe haven of the cave, that the idea for the library first came up. Meeks had already talked Pitts into coming, Neil didn’t take much convincing at all, Todd was also easy to lure, Cameron groaned about leaving school grounds but refused to be left out, and Knox agreed to go but only if Nuwanda came too. Charlie had already started to cover what there was to do at a library, read?
      Meeks dove into the technical manuals and Pitts followed tentatively, cradling their science project in his arms. Todd had followed Neil to the S authors, Cameron was trying to chat up the woman at the register, and God only knew what Knox was doing. He had been stranded with few options. He could find the geniuses and be talked over for the next hour or third wheel Neil but that guaranteed intruding on something he probably shouldn’t. The polite thing to do would be to rescue Cameron from making a complete fool of himself, throwing bad pick up lines at a clearly uninterested college student, but it was amusing to watch.
      Charlie settled on trying to find Knox, at least then he could have some company. Said company was absolutely nowhere to be found. The rows of shelves wound in a confusing maze and Charlie was lost before he could even begin to look. Weaving around he did come face-to-face with a rather large picture of Charles Dickens that made him recoil. It was perched just at eye level above a short staircase and it seemed to judge his every movement. Charlie followed the carpeted stairs down to escape Mister Dickens’ strange little beard and beady black eyes.
      The further down the steps Charlie descended the brighter it appeared. The lower level was the children’s section. Considerably more fun than science books or Shakespeare. The big oak counter was abandoned but the lights were still on. He was alone, still.
      Charlie sighed, sitting down in one of the bright red wooden chairs. He was much too big for it but it held well under his weight. A sad stuffed bear stared dully into him from the green glossy table.
      “Well hello,” He mumbled, picking it up under the arms, “And you must be?” He cleared his throat to take on a gruff baritone, “Mister... Bearington,” Charlie sighed, that was bad. He dropped the bear into his lap, “This is so stupid,”
      “Bearington?”
      Charlie shot around in the chair, tipping himself off center and stumbling to his feet, bear still clutched in his arms, “Where the hell did you come from?”
      “A few blocks over, walked here actually.” You turned back to your work. A painting. Not just a painting, Charlie realized, a mural. It stretched the length of the wall, roughly sketched in pencil and waiting to be finished.
      He blinked, “That’s good. The wall I mean,”
      “Thank you,” Your face flustered and Charlie took notice, “It’s not much of anything yet, just an outline. It’ll look better painted.”
      He took a few steps closer, sidling up to you, “What’s it supposed to be?”
      “A forest,” You pointed to a rotund blob perched on a long line, “That’s an owl, and there’s going to be a fox somewhere down in the grass,”
      Charlie grinned, “That’s an owl?”
      “That-” you tapped the blob, “Is a shape, objectively. Subjectively, it’s an owl.”
      His brow creased, “Subjectively it’s an owl? That's like saying Mister Bearington is a rabbit, subjectively,”
      You stared at him, baffled. It was almost irritating that he could so casually come down to your domain and invade your creative bubble. And it was even worse that he talked to himself as a stuffed bear but now he was challenging your judgment on what was and was not subjectively an owl. But he had a wonderful smile and it lessened the intrusion. Plus, you had never seen a teenage boy develop an attachment to a stuffed bear as quickly as he had, “What’s your name?”
      “Nuwanda,” He grinned, setting his chin atop his bear’s plush head.
      “Nuwanda?” You blinked at him, “That’s… neat. I’ve never heard that before.”
      “What can I say? The only Nuwanda this side of Vermont. What’s your name?”
      As you opened your mouth to answer several sets of footsteps thundered down the stairs. Knox spun around the corner first, closely followed by Pitts and Meeks.
      “Charlie!” Knox called, “We gotta go before Cameron proposes to the clerk.”
      You looked at the boy in front of you, “Is Charlie short for Nuwanda, or just a nickname?”
      He shrugged, “I’m Nuwanda, subjectively. It was truly a pleasure meeting you. Can’t wait to see your thing DaVinci!” He set the stuffed bear back on the table as he made his way out of the room. With Charlie’s energy gone it became much quieter and you were plunged back into the impressionistic outline of your artwork.
      The next time a library trip was suggested Charlie didn’t completely dread it. Yes, it was still numbingly boring because it was a library and he didn’t have clerks to fall in love with, people to write love letters to, anyone to kiss in the aisles, or a spaceship to build, but he did have his own personal Van Gough to torment.
      The lower level was the first place he went, not even hanging his coat on the rack inside the big double doors. He made his way past Cameron’s preoccupied receptionist and under Dickens’ hard glower. Halfway down the steps, the smell hit Charlie. Wet paint.
      You had just picked out a brush when he pulled one of the wooden chairs next to your station. He sat in it backwards, holding Mister Bearington out in front of him, “Never got your name Monet,”
      “Well, it's not that. Or Da Vinci.” You stroked the brush up the grassy outline.
      “Do you want me to guess?”
      You had yet to look at him, “Nope,”
      “Are you gonna tell me?”
      “Should I?”
      “Obviously, I told you my name.”
      You set the brush down and turned to face him, “(Name).”
      “Pretty,”
      Charlie Dalton liked many things and the musty old library uptown had never been one of them. It had ancient red carpets and gaudy gold ceilings and it was trying too hard to look regal. So it was a sheer shock when he began to leap at the suggestion of going and even more so when he chose to go by himself one afternoon. Naturally, the other poets followed him, they had to.
      Charlie didn’t dally upstairs, waving hi to the clerk and rushing down to the children’s section. A sign was posted outside the entrance warning of wet paint but he stepped around it.
      “You’re making progress Picasso!” He set his hands on his hips and took in the wall.
      You turned back to look at him, “Did you not see the caution: wet paint, do not enter sign?”
      “Oh no I saw it,” He pushed his sunglasses up on top of his head, “It's bright orange, hard to miss, really,”
      “So you just chose to ignore it?”
      He nodded, making his way over to sit by you on the ground, “I choose to ignore lots of things, it really makes life easier,”
      You shook your head, “Are you just going to sit here and bother me?”
      “Yes, that's actually the whole reason I came today, believe it or not.”
      You blubbered in vague disbelief, “Please tell me you’re not serious,”
      “Dead serious,” Charlie grinned, leaning closer, “I had to see how your weird owl was going. And also make sure you hadn’t gone mad and cut your own ear off yet,”
      “You’ve already used the Van Gogh joke, Charles,”
      “Maybe I want your ear,”
      You paused, “You… what?”
      Charlie’s confidence cracked, “That was bad. Shit, that wasn’t supposed to sound that way. It was like, a bad pickup line? Because Van Gogh cut his ear off to send to his girlfriend,” He sighed, shaking his head, “Sorry,”
      “I mean if I had to pick someone to give my ear too I guess you would be my first choice?”
      Charlie looked at you, eyebrows pinched together, “Why?”
      You shrugged, “No one else has asked, first come first serve.” You dipped your brush back into the blue paint and went to work on a patch of flowers.
      “Huh, well I do appreciate it,” Charlie scooted closer, leaning over your shoulder. He was close, very close. When you took a breath you could smell his cologne and whatever it was he used in his hair and you could feel the edge of his sunglasses brush your ear. He brought an arm around to dip his finger into the soft sky colour on your palette. And then he wiped it on your nose.
      You gasped sharply at the foreign feeling, snapping your head to the side to glare at him, “Why?!”
      Charlie snickered, leaning back, “The opportunity presented itself, how could I just let that pass?”
      You reached back, squirting a touch of purple paint over the palm of your hand, “That was truly a horrible idea,”
      Charlie shot up just as you did, stumbling backwards, “I’m sorry-” He stuck his hands up in surrender, “I regret my actions and if I could take them back I would,”
      “Hmm, but you can’t” You took a step closer, “Surrender now and it doesn’t have to get any messier than this,”
      He pointed towards your paint coated hand, “Do not,”
      You grinned, “I might,”
      “I’m begging,”
      “Fine-” You offered him your other hand, “Truce?”
      Charlie mulled it over for a moment, “Fine, truce,” He grabbed your clean hand and you used it to pull him towards you.
          “Why on earth would you trust me?” You tugged him even closer as he shrieked and smeared your hand down his cheek, “There, now we’re even,”
      Getting distracted by your triumph gave Charlie the upper hand. He pulled you to him the same you had done to him and pressed his cheek flush to yours. The paint was cold against your skin and you jolted back, away from him.
      “Vile,” You hissed, “You are vile and evil. That's so cold. You will pay, I hope you know that.”
      Charlie snorted, “Oh please, what’re you gonna do?”
      “You underestimate me, you ass, I’ll figure something out,”
      “Will you?” Charlie grinned, “I will be waiting in anticipation,”
      “You better be,”
      Meeks elbowed back into Cameron’s ribs, “You’re going to knock me over,”
      Cameron craned his neck further to peek around the corner into the children’s section, “I just want to see, let me look,”
      “Nothing is happening-” Meeks snipped, “They’re just talking now and I might be able to hear if you could can it!”
      Cameron rolled his eyes, “Of course, whatever you say,”
      “Will you shut up?” Knox batted at Cameron’s shoulder, “They’ll see us, we’re not super well hidden,”
      “If you don’t stop talking they’ll realize we’re here,” Pitts mumbled, rolling his eyes. Cameron started to rebuttal, turning to look at Gerard but the motion knocked Meeks out of place and he gasped, stumbling forwards. This did indeed draw Charlie’s attention.
      “Meeks, what the hell?” Charlie snapped. He was in a state, sunglasses askew in his hair, paint smeared from his cheekbone down to the corner of his mouth, and his shirt was wrinkled away from his collarbone.
      Meeks stared, “Hi Charlie. Are there any textbooks down here, uh… the science ones?”
      Knox groaned, stepping out from behind the wall as well, “We wanted to see why you came here on a Tuesday afternoon by yourself,”
      Charlie blubbered, “Did you all come? Is Keating there too?”
      “He could be,” Meeks shrugged.
      Charlie rolled his eyes, “Will you leave, I’ll be upstairs in a second,” The other poets nodded, scampering up the steps to the first level.
      “Assholes, should have known they’d come,” Charlie sighed, adjusting the sunglasses atop his head, “I need to go before they decide to intrude again. I’ll see you soon though, anxiously anticipating payback,”
      He was almost out the door when you bucked up the courage to call out to him, “Charlie, wait.” You let him turn back to you before continuing, “Could I have your phone number?”
      He clicked his teeth, “Don’t have one, private school. But I’ll find the library number in the books and try to shoot you a call sometime,” He winked and started back up to his friends.
      Knox was waiting at the landing with a handful of tissues, which he shoved into Charlie’s hands, “So you’re gonna read your stupid poem about tits at a Dead Poets meet and then not tell us you’ve got a girlfriend?”
      Charlie grabbed the tissues, “Not my girlfriend, I meet her like two weeks ago,”
      “Didn’t stop Knox,” Neil elbowed him.
      Charlie wiped at his face, “Well I’m not Knox. I like her painting, she's good.”
      “It looks like she was painting you,” Cameron slapped at Charlie’s chest and he threw the tissues at him in retaliation.
      “Shut up, at least my library worker actually talks to me,”
      Cameron fumbled with the dirty material, batting it away from his chest, “You dick!”
      Charlie grinned, pulling his glasses down and starting towards the door. Something about it was thrilling, having this to himself. A little secret that he and you shared. His personal Salvador Dalí, something to look forwards to besides bad tobacco and Keating’s eccentric lectures. It was bright and exciting and he felt seen. He felt important. The blue paint he had stolen from your tray was still on the tip of his pointer finger and he wondered how long it would be until he could see you again.
 ( @interwebseriesfan24 )
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dragon-kazansky · 4 years ago
Text
Made with love | Helmut Zemo
Tumblr media
Chef Zemo AU! 👨‍🍳
Gender neutral reader!
Collage by @realremyd
[Next chapter]
Part 1
You had always wanted to travel through Europe. You wanted to see those streets at least once in your life. Meet the people, attention the languages, taste the food, and maybe even do a little shopping in certain cities.
Your friend, Wanda Maximoff, came from a rather unknown country called Sokovia. When you had told her about your trip, she had brought it up. She hadn't been back home since she left, but she remembered it well. She suggested some places to go if you ever stopped by. You made a mental note to drop by her home country for her sake.
Sokovia was a declining country. It had its fair share of issues and problems, but it was still out there waiting to be discovered. The least you could do was visit on your travels.
You had passed through Spain and France, spent a few extra days in Gemany, stopping by the Netherlands to see Amsterdam. You have lost count of the photos you had taken in Austria, and it was as your stay in Poland was coming to an end when you remembered about Sokovia. The other countries you had planned to pass through would have to wait. You spent your last night Poland planning the flyover to Sokovia, luckily finding a flight that will take you to the capital.
In your pocket you kept the list of places Wanda and suggested, her hoping most of them were still there. You would of course take pictures for her.
The plane landed and you exited the airport. You wanted to see the city. A cab station near by grabbed your attention, so you hurried over. You asked the driver of the nearest cab to drop you off in the city centre. He did.
Looking around Novi Grad, you were taken in. The city was old. People were going about their business, but some even turned to smile at you as you walked along. You took in the area, admiring the buildings and the people. You were impressed and in awe with the city.
You keep an eye out for somewhere to stay, checking Wanda's list as you go incase you spot one of the places on it.
You're not sure how long you have been strolling the streets when something catches your eye. It's not a very big building, but it stands out. A restaurant. A Spanish restaurant. You smile. Spain was one of your first stops when you got to Europe, the food was one of your favourite parts.
You realise just how hungry you are. You hadn't eaten anything since before your flight. The door is open and it looks like a good place to stop.
You look up at the sign as you get closer to it. Gold letters on a purple background. There was something elegant about it.
Escorpión Morado
You look at your list quickly. It's on there. Purple Scorpion. Wanda knew about this place. You put away the list, grab your camera, and stand far enough away to get a shot of the exterior. You smile at the outcome.
Outside there were a few tables. Four, to be exact. They had a nice view of the courtyard just in front of the restaurant. The entrance was two narrow double doors, opened wide to let air into the shop, and allowing easy access for the customers to come and go. The shop being on the corner of the street allowed a view on either side theiugh the large windows. On each window was the name of the restaurant in faint lettering. You could see inside, but decided you could admire it better by going in.
Entering the restaurant, you were welcomed with a certain warmth. It wasn't too busy, but there was still several people here, enjoying themselves. You took a picture of the inside.
The inside was nice and open, plenty of room to move around. A bar was situated at the far end, a couple of people sitting at it. You walked over the polished floor and made your way to the back. You pick a stool and sit down, looking up at the menu. There were plenty of options.
"What can I get for you?" A voice asks, coming over to you. You turn your head to see who was speaking, your voice suddenly doesn't want to work.
The man comes to stop in front of you. Brown hair swept to the side, dark brown eyes, sparkling with amusement, a smile tugging at his lips. His shirt sleeves were pushed back up to his elbows, and apron was around his waist. He had very clearly just been in the kitchen.
He tilts his head to the side slightly. You had yet to answer him.
"Are you alright?" He asks. "English?"
Oh, he thought you didn't understand.
"Um, yes. I speak English. I'm sorry, I'm fine," you feel embarrassed, shuffling on the stool slightly.
"That's alright. What can I get for you?" He asks, offering a friendly smile.
You glance up at the menu again. "What do you reccomend?"
As you glance back, you see his smile widen. You had eaten tapas while you were in Spain, but you found yourself wanting to hear him speak again. There was something about his accent that was satisfying.
"Since I haven't see you around here before, I'll make a special for you. How does that sound?"
"That sounds lovely, thank you."
He smiles and leaves you to go and make it himself. You look around the restaurant again while you wait.
On the wall just off to the side, there was a plaque. You get up and walk over to it, wanting to read what was on it. There was a photo above the plaque that caught your attention first. An older gentleman, dressed smartly and looking proud. You read the plaque to find out who he is.
Or was.
Heinrich Zemo
Founder of Escorpión Morado.
He died a few years ago, leaving the restaurant to his son, Helmut Zemo. There was no photo of his son, but you assumed he was here somewhere.
Actually, looking at the photo, you could awe some semblance with the man who had served you. Was he the owner?
You look at the plaque once more before going back sit down. The atmosphere in here was nice. You could see yourself coming here every day just to pass time. It certainly seemed like a favourite spot for these people.
You smiled as you glanced over the few people gathered here. A couple by the window, just looking out at people passing by. A man sitting at the bar talking to one of the staff members, they seemed to be enjoying themselves. There were a couple of families taking up tables here and there.
It was very relaxing here.
You turn back around when the man returns, he puts the dish down in front of you and smiles. It looks delicious, just like the one you had back in Spain.
He stands there as you take your first bite.
You stop and look at him as soon as the food touches your tongue. It's amazing. You smile as you eat it, nodding at him, impressed.
"This is the best tapas I've ever eaten."
He looks really pleased with himself.
"Is that so?"
"Yeah, especially since I was Spain not that long ago." You go for another bite.
"A traveller?"
"Yeah. I always wanted to see Europe, so I've been saving like crazy and here I am."
He leans against the counter, seemingly interested in this information. You're not complaining, he is definitely attractive company.
"And you found yourself here of all places."
"I have a friend who comes from Sokovia. She had mentioned it to me before I left for my trip, the least I could do was come and see," you told him, still enjoying your meal.
"Sokovia isn't exactly a popular destination, but I welcome you all the same. I also welcome you to my restaurant."
"Ah, so you are Helmut Zemo? I was reading the plaque over there," you said, nodding over at the wall.
"The one and only. Do I get the honour of your name?"
"So you ask all your customers for their names?" You ask, smiling at him.
"Only the really interesting ones."
"Interesting? I've been here all of five minutes. What makes you think I'm interesting?"
"When you work in a business like this, you get to know who is interesting or not. It comes with the territory. Also, moat of my customers are locals, so anyone from outside the country has to be interesting in some way," he crosses his arms and looks at you smugly.
"I see," you chuckle.
"Is that a no, then?"
"Y/N. My name is Y/N," you reply rather bashful.
"Y/N, lovely."
The way he says it with his accent makes a shiver run down your spine. You had a sudden need for him to say it again, but you also had to remember to be a normal human being who isn't going to freak out the lovely man they just met.
"Your meal is on the house."
You look up at him sharply.
"Oh no, please let me pay," you say urgently.
He shakes his head.
"No, this one is free. Only this one."
"You say that as if you know I'm going to come back," you look at him with a narrowed gaze.
"I trust that you will," he smirks.
"Why?"
"Well, you ate everything, complimented both my food and establishment, and I'm far too interesting, myself, for you only to come by once."
You laugh softly, shaking your head at him. His eyes lit up at the sound.
"Insufferable," you say, sliding off the stool.
"I'm aware, you get used to it."
You smile as you make sure you don't leave any of your belongings behind and thank him for the delicious food.
"Come again," he says.
"I'll think about it."
You leave, knowing he was smiling as you left the building. You make your way across the square, resisting looking back through the window to see if he was still there.
You pull out your phone and bring up a map. You needed to find somewhere to stay for a few nights. You didn't have to look far. There was a small hotel up ahead and around the corner. You decided to try there.
Finding it wasn't too hard. You only had to go down a small backstreet. It was out of the way and hidden, a nice peaceful place to stay for a while.
You enter. The lobby wasn't too big and it was nice and quiet. The building was old, but the inside seemed well looked after.
You walk over to the desk and smile at the man sitting there.
"Hello."
He smiles, "hello."
He spoke English too. That was good. Your Sokovian was... nonexistent.
"I would like a room for a few nights."
He nods and opens a big book information front of him. He grabs a pen and flicks through room numbers.
"How long are you staying?"
"Three nights? Yeah, three should do." You still had countries to check off your list.
He nods and asks you to sign the book. While you do so he grabs a key from the wall behind him. You pass him the book back and take the key.
"Enjoy your stay."
You nod and take the stairs up. Your room was nice. Big enough for one person and on the main street side, where you came up to get here. You could just about see the square from the window.
You sat on the bed. Perfect. There was a TV, but something told you it would be Sokovian television. Maybe you could watch it just for the sake of it.
You lay back on the bed and took our your phone, calling Wanda.
She picked up almost immediately.
"Y/N, where are you?"
You smile, "Sokovia. You were right, Wanda, it's very pretty here."
You hear her little gasp down the phone.
"You're actually there? You're making me homesick now."
You chuckle softly.
"I'm sorry, Wanda. It's a beautiful city though. I even stopped off at one of the restaurants you listed."
"You did? Which one?"
"Escorpión Morado."
"Escorpión Morado? Oh my gosh! It's still there? Did you meet Heinrich? I remember him being so wonderful to his customers."
"Actually, Wanda, Heinrich passed away a few years ago. His son runs it now, but I guess you could say I did technically meet the owner."
"My heart is saddened to hear of his loss. I do vaguely remember his son. Though back then he worked in the kitchen and very rarely came out."
"Helmut is rather lovely. He stayed and talked to me while I ate."
"Is he cute?"
You roll your eyes at her question.
"He might be," you chuckle.
"Perhaps a romance will spark and you'll be left heartbroken because you'll have to come back here and maybe never see him again. I'll be here watching you drink wine straight from the bottle and gobble down ice cream because you're utterly in love with this man you met once while travelling."
"Wanda, I need you to stop watching those chick flick movies and come back to the real world. I'm not going to fall in love with him. His food, however, is to die for."
"Oh, you're in love with the food. Spain exists, you know."
"I know, I was there, remember? Kind of missing the sun, if I'm being honest, but my God Wanda, this man can cook."
"Marry that man, Y/N. He can cook."
"Wanda, shut up," you laugh with her down the phone.
"Never. Enjoy your time in my home country, Y/N. It honestly means the world to me that you're there."
"In taking photos, don't worry! I'll be home soon, Wanda. See you."
You end the call.
You drop your phone on the bed beside you and stare up at the ceiling. So far you really liked Sokovia, very different from places you had been to so far.
You smile as you think about Helmut. He was certainly the most memorable part of your stay here so far.
Maybe you would visit him again tomorrow.
For the food, obviously.
@namethathasnotbeentaken @belle82devart @cathrin2405 @lieutenantn @wilder-fangirl @latenightartist-author @lucky-luck-lucky @hb8301 @charistory @thatoneartgalsstuff @thesuitkovian @malkaviangirl @zemosimp420 @realremyd @the-chaotic-cow @lostghostgirl94 @zafiro-draco @lazygurl05 @pinkcutiepiee @goddessofmischief03 @whovianayesha @myybebe @awesomesauce-abbie @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @zemo-is-my-muse @nonamec0s
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crispycrimebrulee · 3 years ago
Note
HI! Can i request chrollo with prompt 12? Thanksssss <3
Prompt #12: "I Miss You" "Don't Lie, I Know She's With You." [Angst!] [TW: Cheating] [Also Available on AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/31658609 ]
Absence Makes The Heart Grow...Fickle.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Indeed, a statement that every relationship comes to meet, a milestone, a test of faith across miles of land and oceans, for if your love can withstand distance, surely it can withstand time, turmoil, and anything else.
And yet…
You find yourself, staring out of a raindrop riddled window, the soft hush of rainfall on adding fuel to your thoughts, watching your worries become realities as a pattern emerged from his constant actions…
Or lack thereof.
Could you blame him, though? Chrollo Lucilfer, feared among thieves and civilians alike, ruthlessness without bounds when he’s set on getting what he wants, going to any distance, metaphorical or physical to obtain what he wants most. You couldn’t really fault him for his distance; his distance in miles, being thousands of miles away gallivanting with his spiders on yet another quest, continuously building his legacy. You couldn’t blame him for his emotional distance either. He was an intense man to reach, to truly reach and understand and get close to. It would take ages of hard work and commitment to get him to share even a fraction of a clue of his own troubles to you. Not to mention, he always had something on his mind, a new quest, a new artifact, a new theory from his books, a new gang to silence, debts to collect...oh was he a busy man. You couldn’t blame him for being so far away, so distant…
And yet…
In the past he’d always made time for you, always called and made sure you were safe and taken care of while he was away. You’d been his top priority, his ultimate treasure, all quests and roads lead back to you at the end of a day or the end of a month, it was always your heart he returned home to and you welcomed him time and time again, how could you not? Everything about him was captivating, you’d be a fool to not let him in and have all that you are, albeit slowly and carefully, weary of what he was capable of.
Not weary enough, it seems.
You’d let him in, opened your doors to him and allowed him to gaze at what you thought was everything he wanted. Sure, it was everything he wanted, more than that by far. But as thieves go, they take without bounds and leave the door ajar, only a little so that they may slip in and steal whatever is left whenever they please, and you can do nothing to stop them seeing as only a fool lets a thief in their home.
He’d taken valuables beyond obtainable prices.
Love, time, faith, gentle smiles and gentler words, secrets of hopes and dreams and fears, all of it. He’d taken all of it without remorse on the basis of ‘your love could never be replaced’ promising he would only and always come back to you…
And.
Yet.
You already knew his heart and his eyes had wandered, from missed calls to missed dates to missed events to ‘forgetting to tell you he’d returned home’, to hearing whispers from shop owners mentioning they’d seen him with Her, his hand resting on the slope of Her hip, his eyes resting on Her hands as She held gifts from places he’d been, places he knows you could only dream of visiting, gifts that were seldom for you. He’d already tested the waters with another, already given in to a special kind of temptation, a one sided selfish temptation. What had you meant to him? Were you only someone to play with, something to fill a gap in his desires, desire for a sense of stability? Had he only spent years with you to play house with a docile routine only to put you on the shelf when the gap had closed, a new one opening where you did not fit? Were you another object he had to have, something to join a collection of used dolls, a worn out plaything, a gemstone now frosted and without luster, something to be given away with lesser value?
Of course, you little fool. What else would he want with you?
Only souls with stars in their eyes and hope in their hearts think ruthlessness with no bounds have bounds in regards to another, and that they’ll be the special one, the one that gets spared and cherished. Do thieves cherish? Do thieves find things special beyond monetary value? What monetary value did you hold?
Not enough, not enough, not enough.
You could only think about what She’d done to coax him away, or what She hadn’t done at all. You thought about it as you would walk to the store, the park, the bank, and glimpses of Her would cross your eyes clear as day, the scent of Her perfume, the clatter of Her bracelets, the sound of Her shoes on the pavement going to wherever Chrollo was, wherever he wasn’t with you, the place he said he would always return to. And at first, it was merely suspicion, something you talked yourself out of on nights where he was home but away from you, nights where he failed to call, night where you’d caught glimpses of them out late at night as though you wouldn’t notice.
Ruthlessness without bounds.
Suspicion only lead to confirmation by others and by your own eyes, accidentally of course, when he would come home and find Her earrings in his pocket, love letters in his jacket no longer addressed to you, Her perfume lingering on his shirt and pressed to his skin, catching the notes of sandalwood and citrus as he dared to sleep beside you on nights he could not sleep beside Her.
You could blame him.
And you did.
Your caring, your desperation and sorrow and attempts to reach out to him while he was wrapped up in satin sheets with Her only added fuel to his ill willed fire. You simply stepped back, two can play at that game.
You stopped wearing the foreign gifts, stopped reading the dull love letters, stopped sending calls and messages to someone who clearly did not care to receive them or not. To lose power, leverage, the damage it does to know what the ruthlessness of an old lover can do.
Being so easily let go, like the treasures he sells, was too much for him it seemed.
So much so, that your phone rang, his name lighting up the screen. You looked at it, letting the ringing pass through you as you considered if you should leave him wondering and falling apart.
Wondering too long, the call fell, the abrupt end to the rings bringing you out of your thoughts as you went back to watching the rain fall.
No more than 5 minutes, it seemed, before the phone rang again, Chrollo seemingly desperate to reach you now, more so than he ever had.
Once, twice, three times your phone rang before you picked it up slowly, a somber hello drawn out from you.
“Y/N… I haven’t heard you in some time-”
“I know.” you cut him off, your voice soft but stern and unamused.
He was silent for a moment, the sound of rain on both ends prodding at your thoughts again.
“You’ve been well, I hope? I’ve sent some things over to you from my recent trip.”
“Mmm… I never got them.” you lied, of course, knowing the small packages remind untouched, sitting outside on your balcony getting soaked by the rain.
“I’m sure I sent them, y/n, a few things I know you’d enjoy.” he hummed as he seemed to be lacing his words with sweetness, too much for his own sake, really.
“I’ll look out for them.”
Although you knew you wouldn’t.
He sighed, a rare sign from him, the sound of him sitting down from wherever he is, making the audio crackle.
“I’ve been gone a while, y/n.”
“I know. I know more than anyone.”
“I haven’t called as much as you’d like me to, it’s my fault my love.”
“It is your fault, Chrollo.”
Silence.
“Y/n…”
“Chrollo.”
“I miss you.”
You tilted your head to the side, watching the raindrops race down the window as Chrollo lied his finest lie.
“Don’t lie, I know She’s with you.”
Although you couldn’t see him, you could sense the shift in the atmosphere, was the shift from losing his chance to reconcile? Losing his chance to explain? Or from being caught like a rat in a cage of his own making?
“Y/n there's-”
“Tell me, Chrollo...do you miss me when you run your fingers through Her hair?”
“...”
“Or when you kiss Her hand and walk Her home?”
Deathly silence from someone so brazen...
“Do you miss me when your lips brush against Her skin, do you think of me then?”
You didn’t give him a chance to answer as you ended the call, knowing the damage on both ends had been done. You wouldn’t answer his calls, late or early, for the next few days as you planned to find a new place to stay, somewhere he wouldn’t find for a little while. His gifts provided ample financial help when traded in pawn shops, allowing you to gather yourself quickly and vanish in the same fashion that he did.
Your doors were closed, now, less of a fool for a thief with no bounds.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it leaves the rest of you lonely.
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cat-induced-fever-dream · 3 years ago
Text
I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.
Pairing: Wanda x Reader
Genre: Angst if you squint really hard. Fluff to make up for Marvel reminding me that Nat is dead.
Description: The falling in love of Wanda Maximoff and you. (If anyone has a better description please hit me up.)
Notes: Was going to be a one-shot and then it didn’t happen so there’s going to be a second part. It’ll probably happen in like a month though since I have a trip. Comments always appreciated. :)
- - -
You’re not sure when it happened. To be fair, neither is Wanda.
You had just started with SHIELD, and were there for the battle with Ultron, and then when Wanda became an Avenger. You remember the admiration you held for her, for her powers, for her determination to do what was right, her grit. Now, it was more of a well-deserved respect. Her strength when everything else in her life seemed to be gone, her brutal honesty regarding matters important to her, and her loyalty to those she cared about.
Maybe that’s when it started. As an exemplary agent, you could handle most things Fury assigned you, but being an Avenger? That was a whole new battleground. One that Wanda had your six on. From simple things, like showing you around the compound, and looking for you when you inevitably got lost (again). Wanda with her no frills attitude and sharp tongue, lashing out at Fury himself when he assigned you your 6th mission in 4 days. Wanda with her soft smiles that made your stomach flip and whispered jokes when she noticed your anxiousness on a mission. It wasn’t easy, keeping up with super soldiers, spies with years of experience on you, actual gods, but Wanda made it simple.
- - -
Wanda sometimes wondered if she could really be a hero. She wasn’t a good person. She had done terrible things. Then you stumbled in, a fresh agent and an even fresher Avenger, but you looked at her with no distrust. A little lost perhaps, but no malice. That confused SHIELD agent? It reminded her of, well, her. It may have been under different circumstances, but in essence, they were the same. Thrust into a world of avenging, knowing no one, knowing nothing. So she threw you a line, offered her support when you looked like you needed it. Wanda expected a bite, but she didn’t expect a tug back. The way you offered to help her practice her powers (a little naively), and then when you realised your mistake, your offer to teach her the hand to hand combat you had learned from SHIELD. The way you always looked back for her on a mission, even when you knew she could protect herself with said powers. You were on her team, a comfort she didn’t have since Pietro died. Okay well the Avengers were also her team, but you were her person, always in her corner.
- - -
It shouldn’t be this easy. Sometimes it felt like you could read each other’s minds. To be fair, Wanda could read your mind, but you knew she wouldn’t do it without your permission. Still, there was something about your unspoken agreements that came so naturally. Where everyone else was on comms, it was like the pair of you were tuned to the same wavelength, communicating in a code not even Natasha could decrypt.
“You just get me, you know?” Wanda says, as the two of you are sprawled on her bed after a mission. “It’s like our brains are, I dunno, smooshed together or something. Not even Vision feels like this, and we’re literally connected by an Infinity Stone in his head.”
“Smooshed together?” you laugh. “What an insightful description. And I can’t believe you just compared me to that toaster. I’m obviously way better than him.”
“You realise he can shoot lasers right?”
“And I can turn on a laser on the sights of my guns. Sit down, you’re not special.”
This earns you a giggle. “But it’s like you’re in my brain.”
“Oh so I’m always on your mind?”
“Shut up Y/N/N.”
“Maybe your powers are rubbing off on me,” you joke, wiggling your fingers in her face.
“I do not look like that,” cries Wanda indignantly. “And if you have my powers, what am I thinking about right now?”
“Stealing Sam’s cupcakes,” you reply with no hesitation.
“I was actually thinking about how I hope Steve never reassigns mission partners,” she says pointedly. “But now that you mention it, I could really do with a cupcake.”
“I was right then?” you tease, tugging her towards the kitchen with a cheeky grin.
Wanda rolls her eyes at you, but she mirrors your grin and your stomach is swooping again.
“For the record, you’re my favourite mission partner too.”
- - -
Wanda didn’t expect to call the compound home. She stayed because she had nowhere else to go. And with her differences with Stark and the friendly but still guarded manner of the other Avengers initially (though she didn’t blame them), she kept to herself. But you were different. She noticed the way you prioritised her, looked out for her, to the best of your ability.
She’s shaken from nightmare and automatically, her feet lead her towards you. It’s late, she knows, but when she knocks on your door, you open with an easy smile and open arms that envelop her gently. When her sobbing subsides, you break away, wiping the tear tracks with your thumb.
“Dick van Dyke?” you ask.
Nodding wordlessly, Wanda lets you lead her your bed and settles in beside you.
That’s when she notices the stacks of files illuminated by your desk light.
“Sorry,” she sniffles, throat raw from crying, “did I interrupt you?”
“Oh those?” you say, waving dismissively at your desk. “Maria’s just been on my back lately to get those done, but it’ll be fine.”
With a stab of guilt, she makes to move of the bed, but you grab her wrist before she can. “Don’t worry about it, those can wait.”
As the TV murmurs softly in the background, you wrap a comforting hand around her, and she begins to drift off, nightmares warded away by your presence.
And she wakes up the next morning with the duvet pulled over her, and you slumped at your desk.
- - -
It was an easy mission. Most missions are when you and Wanda are paired together. Get in, get the data, get out. But then HYDRA agents were swarming the building, and intel definitely didn’t mention this level of security, and the exits were blocked off.
“I’m definitely gonna punch Tony later for this,” you groan, and Wanda shoots you a smile before returning to the approaching soldiers. Silently you whip around, firing rounds at the agents on the other end of the corridor. This was one of the many “plans” you had with Wanda, the endless missions allowing you to familiarise yourself with how your two fighting styles complimented each other. Being the enhanced out of you two, Wanda would push forward, handling the bulk of attacks with a flick of her wrist. You had her back, shooting at the stragglers who came from behind. Spotting something that resembled a server room, you gave a tug on her sleeve and she nodded, reassuring you that she had it handled.
Not wanting to leave Wanda for longer than necessary, you plug in the drive to do its Stark-tech thing and bolted back outside. To find the bodies slumped en masse on both end of the hallway.
“Guess you did have it handled,” you say, waving at the uniformed soldiers.
“Oh my god that isn’t even a good pun,” the witch replies, before continuing with a smirk. “But yes, I am way more powerful than you.”
“Don’t think that was ever in question,” you say, but then alarms were blaring, and the building plunges into a red glow and then oh my god there’s a gun behind Wanda and before you knew what was happening, a shot had fired from your gun and there was a burning pain in your shoulder.
The brunette whirls around just as you collapse into the wall. “Guess you’re not as an amazing shot as I am though,” you mutter, before blacking out.
- - -
To say Wanda was in a state of panic was an understatement. It was more like a whole damn continent. As much as she reassured you before missions, your easygoing, playful attitude was her anchor  in these intense situations. Everywhere felt like home, like you two bickering on the couches. Your constant presence was like bringing a piece of the compound with her. And regardless of her experience as an Avenger, as an ex-agent, you were undoubtedly better with running missions. Not everything was a save the world type threat after all.
Eyes darting around, Wanda noted that you had indeed shot the last agent, before skimming across your bleeding out form.
The training doors opened with a bang and Wanda turned to the noise. Then she found herself pinned to the floor.
“Stay focused on the mission,” you scolded, before helping her back up.
The drive. You’d be pissed if she didn’t get it. Sprinting into the server room, she rips it from the port.
“Okay don’t laugh at me, but this is my hierarchy of the 3 Is.”
“Eyes?” Wanda asks.
“No, like the letter I. At the top is innocents, and they’re my priority. Steve says you can’t save everyone, but I can damn sure try. Next is the idiots. That’s the mission. ‘Cause I’d say you’re pretty damn stupid to go up against the Avengers. And finally we have Iron Man, or the heroes. As much as it’s going to hurt, we can’t let the sentiment get in the way. We all knew what we were signing up for, and I’m pretty sure all of us would rather it be us than someone else.”
“Thank you o wise one,” she mocks.
Wanda smiles a little at the memory, but tears pool at her eyes. Then she hears it, the faint footsteps pulling her back from her daze.
“Damn you and your stupid heart of gold,” she whispers, before flying the two of you back to the ship.
- - -
The steady beeping tugs you from slumber.
“Oh you’re up.”
You strain your neck to see Tony walking up with a bowl in his hands.
“You don’t sound very excited to see me Stark.”
“Not when I have to bring meals up here every day for Maximoff,” he says, pointing at the sleeping girl on the chair. “Hasn’t moved for days. Figured I’d hand deliver as an apology.”
“Aw did she punch you for me?”
“Worse,” he chuckled. “Gave me an earful.”
“I’d say you deserve it after that.”
He rubs his neck sheepishly. “Really, I’m sorry though. That was on me.”
“Don’t worry about it,” you smile. “I’ll be fine. And thanks for looking after her.”
Tony nods politely before leaving the meal and you two alone.
“It’s good to have you back kiddo,” he calls, before shutting the door.
Reaching an arm through the railing, you poke Wanda’s elbow.
“Meal delivery for Miss Maximoff?”
The curled up form stirs a little, rubbing her eyes, before freezing in shock.
“You’re back!”
“Apparently so,” you reply with a wry grin.
Wanda leans over the hospital bed, green eyes searching for any injuries.
“I missed you,” she murmurs.
“And you missed one-“
A slap hits you on your injured arm, and you hiss in pain.
“I’m not apologising for that one,” she glares.
Raising your good arm up in surrender, you pout. “Don’t I get a pity pass?”
“Not for worrying me like that.”
“But it wasn’t even my fault!”
She rolls her eyes (she seems to do that a lot at you some reason).
“Wait,” you frown, “we broke our perfect mission streak.”
“Are you kidding me right now?”
Then she’s hugging you, her nose pressed into your neck. Her soft brown hair cascades over your face like a waterfall, tickling your chin. Through your gown, you’re hyper-aware of the cool metal of the rings which adorn her fingers, how nice she smells, how right it feels to be held by her.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” she mumbles, her breath warming your neck, and your stomach is doing acrobatics. Even with the meds, you’re aware that this feels familiar, like something.
Pulling away, she studies your face. “Never. Do. That. Again.”
You laugh. “Glad we’re in agreement.”
It must be the meds, it must be.
123 notes · View notes
amazingmaeve · 4 years ago
Text
Used ━ n. longbottom
─ “It sucks not being loved by the one you love,”
summary ─ y/n has liked harry potter ever since her first year. then he asked her out in her sixth year but soon realized that he never really wanted her. when the war comes she gets closer to neville.
warnings ─ angst, fluff, crucio curse
a/n ─ no hate to ginny or harry
word count ─ 3.7k
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Y/N doesn’t remember her parents. She doesn’t remember how they loved her or how they fought for her to stay alive. She hates that she couldn’t help them when they died but she was only 1 year old. She hates that she can’t even remember them. It wasn’t anything magical, her parents were muggles and so they were killed during a burglary or so she thought. She remembers it oh so clearly.
After her parents died they had to put her in the fosters system since her parents had no family. No grandparents, siblings, or any godparents. She didn’t understand why her parents didn’t have anyone in their life to name them as her godparents. But she always tried to not think like that since the thought of her parents would bring tears to her eyes.
When she got her Hogwarts letter she was living in a foster family that didn’t like her one bit, so they didn’t care where she went. Her ‘parents’ knew of the magic world so they knew where she would be going all year. Her ‘siblings’ didn’t really like her so they were really happy about her leaving. Y/N was happy since her family wouldn’t be there and they wouldn’t need another mouth to feed. Her ‘parents’ seemed rather thrilled that she would be going.
Her parents knew of the world because of her though. That’s the only reason her siblings weren’t going is what they told her.
Her first year of Hogwarts wasn’t anything special. She met her first friend though, Neville Longbottom. He would often remind her that she should try and talk to Harry since they had similar pasts. Y/N heard that Harry’s parents were killed by you-know-who and she felt bad for him.
So she tried talking to him but he always seemed too busy or talking with Ron or Hermione. She didn’t mind since he knew he had friends and didn’t really try to talk to him for her second year. But that’s when her crush developed alongside Ginny Weasley which she eventually became friends with. But that didn’t taint her and Nevilles relationship.
Oftentimes Ginny would gush to Y/N about her crush on Harry but always kept her feelings inside, not wanting to hurt the redhead girl. So she would often rant to Neville about her feelings, he was very accepting and supportive of her feelings.
In her 3rd year everything changed for her. The dementors have taken a toll on everyone and luckily she got the paper signed so she could go to Hogsmeade with Neville and Ginny. Her feelings for Harry developed even more this year since she usually stayed back to go to Hogsmeade so she spent some time talking to him.
“Harry what are you doing I thought you’d be at Hogsmeade with Ron and Hermione,” Y/N asked confused as looked up to see Harry sitting next her awkwardly smiling at her.
“I couldn’t get my permission slip signed,” Harry let out a disappointed sigh. “What are you doing here I heard that you got your slip signed,” He looked at her confused.
“I don’t like big crowds,” Y/N defended looking down at her book as a test was upon them the next. It was true it stemmed from her claustrophobia and when she was around large groups of people it felt like the walls were closing in on her. “But I wish i could give you my pass since it seems like I won’t be using it all,” She thought out loud.
“It wouldn’t do anything I can’t go out since everyone seemed to be afraid that Black would get me,” Harry bitterly said, putting his head down on his hands. Y/N heard that Sirius Black at escaped Azkaban and was quite afraid herself. Y/N read somewhere that he killed 12 muggles and was a right hand man to who musnt’ be named.
“It’s scary to have a mass murder around,” Y/N hesitated to say noticing how irritated Harry got when they mentioned Black himself.
“Yeah but it's not like he's going to be at Hogsmeade where they’re people and Dementors,” Harry snapped which made Y/N flinch from the tone in his voice. “Sorry didn’t mean to startle you,” He apologized with sympathy in his eyes.
“It’s fine it must get old of not having the abilities other kids have,” Y/N softly says looking up to see Harry who nodded agreeing with her.
After that night It seemed like her and Harry talked whenever everyone went to Hogsmeade and it was sorta like they were friends. But one day Neville and Ginny convinced her to go to Hogsmeade but what she didn’t know is that Harry was there as well.
When they went to the three broomsticks Y/N was laughing at something Ginny said. The three agreed that Y/N would go and get the drinks and she didn’t mind since she needed a break from all the smiling. She noticed McGonagall, Filtwick, and Hagrid talking to Madam Rosmerta who owned the three broomsticks. It seemed like they were having a serious conversation and when Y/N overheard it was about Harry her eyes went wide and listened to all of it as she sat a few stools away. Describing how Black was a friend of Harry’s parents and how he betrayed them for you-know-who. But she let out a gasp when she heard her own name.
“But we cannot tell Miss Y/L/N that her parents were a part of the muggles that Black killed,” McGonagall sternly said to the four adults around her. Her mind went crazy. As she carried the three butter beers to her and her friends table.
“What’s wrong Y/N,” Neville worriedly asked looking at Y/N who had been silent ever since she sat next to him and Ginny.
“I just found out my parents were killed by Sirius Black,” Y/N bluntly said, shock still coursing through her veins. Neville and Ginny sat there with mouths agape as they heard what they’re friend said.
“H-how did you find out,” Ginny stuttered out of shock.
“I heard the professors talking about it,” Y/N quietly said, looking at her hands in her lap, thoughts still running its course. Neville gave her a small smile while putting his hand on hers.
Ever since that night she’s tried to figure out information about her parents and if they knew about magic. So she went to one of the easiest teachers to get information from. Hagrid. She wasn’t going to use him since he was one of her favorite teachers. But once she got inside his hut she couldn’t ask him for that.
He was crying about Buckbeak who was a Hippogriff, was going to get executed. Y/N told him that there must be a way to persuade the ministry to keep Buckbeak alive. Hagrid explained that Harry, Ron and Hermione would be helping them appeal it so that made Y/N relax a bit.
Over the next few months she kept visiting Hagrid to see how he was doing and even comforted a crying Hermione alongside Hagrid. Hermione, Ron, and Harry weren’t talking which made Hermione cry, she explained through the tears. She also told them about Scabbers and Crookshanks' situation. Y/N thought all she had to do was apologize to Ron about being insensitive about Scabbers but didn’t say anything not wanting to upset Hermione.
She kept researching about her parents and Neville even ended up helping her. Y/N was thankful for Neville and his presence, she felt like she could talk to him about anything and she always could. Neville would listen as she cried about her parents and give her a hug afterwards reassuring her. Y/N was thankful to have such a good friend like Neville.
One day towards the end of the year she was going to go check up on Hagrid since she heard about his appeal being rejected. As she knocked on the door Hagrid opened with a smile but disappeared which confused Y/N.
“Yer guys mus leave I don’t want’you to be here when it ‘appens,'' Hagrid sternly said as Y/N came in and saw Harry, Ron and Hermione. Y/N immediately shook her head and disagreed wanting to be there for Hagrid. Harry, Ron and Hermione agreed on that.
But alas the four of them left with Harry's invisibility cloak over them so the people from the ministry didn’t see them. Hermione asked what Y/N was doing there with a confused tone and Y/N answered that she wanted to be there for Hagrid. Y/N noticed that Ron got Scabbers back which made Y/N somewhat happy since she thought that he would’ve been dead.
Scabbers fought though and did bite Ron and tried to make his escape. Ron let out a frustrated sigh as he got out of the invisibility quote ignoring Hermione, Harry, and Y/Ns dismay. He tripped and held a squealing Scabbers in his hands. Y/N sighed and walked over to him and intended to help him.
“Harry behind you,” Ron yelled pointing behind Harry and Hermione. Y/N’s eyes were filled with confusion as she turned around and her eyes were full of fear as she saw a huge black dog standing there growling.
Before anyone could do anything the dog sprinted forward and jumped over Harry and Hermione headed straight for Ron. Y/N tried to get to Ron but the dog pushed into the Whomping Willow where she hit her head and blacked out.
The next time she woke up was in the infirmary. Y/N was in a bed next to Ron who looked like he had a broken leg. Ron noticed she was awake and explained what had happened. That Sirius Black wasn’t the one killed Harry’s parents. That it was Peter Pettigrew who was a ‘friend’ to Harry’s parents.
Y/N was in shock once again. She spent so much time hating Sirius Black for killing her family when all in all it was Peter Pettigrew. She instantly felt bad for blaming him as a few tears cascaded down her cheeks.
After that the end of the year came quick. She bid farewell to Neville and Ginny and was off for the summer.
Her 4th year wasn’t as bad as her 3rd. But when the twizard tournament was introduced she had a bad feeling in her stomach. But was quickly relieved that it was prohibited for anyone under the age of sixteen to enter. But when Harry was chosen for this tournament it shocked her since he was only 14.
Her crush for him hadn’t flourished instead grew.
Over the year she knew of Harry’s crush on Cho Chang. A ravenclaw who was on the quidditch team. She didn’t hate Cho but envied her. The Yule ball was nice but she didn’t have anyone to go with as Neville took Ginny. She was happy for them but was wallowing her sorrows.
At the end of the year and the tournament it was revealed that Voldemort had made his return. It frightened Y/N that the most evil wizard of all time was back. She was scared for her friends and family.
Over the summer she was spent scared for her and her loved ones lives.
Her 5th year sucked. Umbridge made her entrance and immediately Y/N disliked her. She didn’t know why it just seemed like she was putting on a facade. And it was proven when Y/N got detention for standing up for Harry.
She got the blood quill that date and went to bed crying herself to sleep from the pain. Neville confronted her the next day and comforted her when she revealed what had happened. Y/N had often comforted Neville as well.
That year Bellatrix Lestrange escaped from Azkaban. Y/N knew that Bellatrix had cursed Neville's parents and they were tortured so bad they didn’t even recognize Neville. He told Y/N this in their 4th year when he found her crying and finally told her about his parents.
Y/N instantly felt bad for crying when her parents were dead while his were alive and had no memories.
Y/N had joined Dumbledores army when it was created. She wanted to learn more so she could protect people who couldn’t. She often got angry when she couldn’t perform a spell right and almost gave up once.
“You can’t just quit,” Neville replies, staring at Y/N who was trying to cast a Patronus.
“I can’t do it, maybe I’m just not cut out for this,” Y/N says in defeat sitting down on the steps.
“You can do it I know you can,” Neville reassures sitting down next to her.
“I keep trying and all I do is fail and fail,” Y/N says as she sniffles. Tears start to roll down her cheeks. “Everyone else can but why can’t I,” She whispers. She can tell that Harry was getting irritated that she was behind.
“I’ll help you,” Neville quietly says, giving her a head which she hugs back.
And in a week she was finally able to produce a Patronus with the help of Neville. She used a memory of her, Neville, Ginny, and Luna. It was night where she and her friends were just talking and joking at the Three Broomsticks.
When Harry went to get Sirius back from Voldemort everyone including Y/N insisted that they should go. Harry was hesitant at first but let everyone come.
It was hard since Death Eaters were there already and a fight broke out. Y/N didn’t believe that she could fight any of the death eaters til she face one of them. It was a simple spell, Stupefy, that sent the guy flying back.
Y/N fought against the death eaters as the order came into help when all hope was lost. She saw when Sirius Black was killed by Bellatrix and saw the agony on Harry’s face as he tried to get out of Lupin's grasp to go after Bellatrix with tears running down his face.
Y/N with the rest of her peers found Harry on the ground with a weird look on his face. She looked at him with sympathy as he talked to Voldemort. Then went into shock when she saw Voldemort standing right there in front of Harry.
Her 6th year wasn’t the best either. With Voldemort officially back everyone was on edge because of it. Her days were usually spent hanging with Neville and Luna. Occasionally Ginny was there as well.
But something changed in Harry. At first Y/N thought it was because of losing Sirius and the return of Voldemort. He started hanging around her and she thought he liked her.
It was proven when Harry asked her to go to the Three Broomsticks with him. Y/N accepted since her crush on him barely dwindled. She still felt something for him but she hoped that his feelings were true.
While on the date Harry seemed on edge which made Y/N extremely confused.
“Are you okay Harry,” Y/N asked as he looked around searching for something as it seemed. Harry looked at her and shook his head with a smile.
“No I’m fine just nervous,” Harry sighed.
“You’re not the only one,” Y/N reassured taking a sip of her butter beer. She felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest from her nervousness.
While talking about her summer Harry seemed like he wasn’t listening. She felt like she was boring him or something. Why did he ask her out if all he was going to do was be bored? But then he suddenly kissed her. Y/N was surprised.
But she kissed back anyway as Harry’s hand was placed on her cheek and her hand on his neck. They sat there making out for a few minutes before they pulled back breathlessly. It was good for her first kiss.
Y/N and Harry went back to the castle, an awkward silence between them. But Y/N felt like she was on cloud nine. She didn’t know how Harry felt since he didn’t say anything except bidding her a good night.
She fell asleep with a smile gracing her lips. Over the year Harry kept taking her on dates but never asking her to be his girlfriend. She felt awkward about it since it seemed like there was no spark. But her and Harry just kept going out and having make out sessions here and there.
She felt like her feelings were changing. She vented to Neville about Harry not seeming interested in her.
Everything was revealed when they were celebrating the win of Gryffindor. Y/N was looking around for Harry when she saw him kissing Ginny. She knew she had no right to be upset since they weren’t dating. But she felt used like the only reason he took her out was to make Ginny feel jealous.
She ducked her head down so no one could see the tears running down her face. As she was making her way towards her room she ran into someone.
“Sorry,” Y/N apologized not looking up.
“Y/N what’s wrong,” Nevilles voice sounded worried as he looked down at Y/N who was surprised that it was Neville. Her and Neville sat on the stairs, her head on his shoulder.
“It sucks not being loved by the one you love,” Y/N muttered as her voice cracked a bit.
“Yeah,” Neville whispers looking down at her. The tears were still present on her face.
For the rest of the year she avoided Harry and his friends. She couldn’t even talk to Ginny, so she usually sat with Neville and Luna. She felt her sadness wash away as she spent more time with Neville. She felt her feelings grow for Neville
But at the end of the year Dumbledore was dead. Harry told everyone it was Snape who did it which shocked everybody even more.
Her 7th year was by far her worst.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione went off to find the Horcruxes to defeat Voldemort. While Y/N and Neville returned to Hogwarts with Ginny and Luna. Y/N was still on and off with Ginny.
She didn’t want to go back since Professor Snape was now going to be headmaster of the school. She didn’t know why since he was the one who murdered Dumbledore.
Over the summer Neville and Y/N got even closer as they sent owls to keep up with each other. Y/N could feel herself liking Neville in a romantic way. She didn’t understand, maybe the feelings were dormant.
She felt her heart race around him, butterflies entered her stomach as she talked to him.
When they got to the school everything seemed to have changed. Everything seemed darker and even the teachers seemed angry. Which was understandable. But it seemed like there was a bias for Slytherins.
They got out scott free with everything. When bullied anyone no detention. When anyone else including Y/N stood up for herself and her friends they got detention either in the forbidden forest or helping Filch.
She spent more time with Neville complaining about Snape and the Slytherins. It felt like the spark between them started to go off whenever they were around each other. Luna seemed to catch on but Y/N denied it.
Everything came so fast. The battle started when Harry returned with Ron and Hermione. Y/N didn’t want to admit but she was scared, scared for her friends and her own life.
Everything went crazy when Death Eaters started to approach the barrier that was put there so no one could get it. It seemed to work at first but eventually they got through.
While running through the halls trying to find Neville, she lost him when the death eaters entered. She stopped when she saw a flash of platinum blood hair in front of her.
“Draco,” Y/N gasped as she saw the Malfoy boy standing in front of her. Before she could do anything to persuade him out of doing something, Draco pointed his wand at her.
“Crucio,” Draco yelled, pointing his wand and in an instant Y/N felt instant pain.
It wasn’t the kind of pain she got when she found out Harry didn’t like her. It was like five thousand hot needles seeping into her skin. She fell to the ground twitching from the pain as she screamed. Tears of pain fell from her eyes and the pain ran its course. Draco ran off to god knows where.
After some time that felt as if it had been years and years of pain she finally felt the pain dwindle a bit.
“Y/N,” She heard someone scream her name. Through her blurred vision she saw Neville kneel down besides her as the pain was still there but it was coming down.
“Neville,” Y/N whimpers, squeezing his hand when he went to grab it. Neville looked down at her and brought her head to his lap.
“What happened,” Neville softly asked, looking over her body to see where the pain was coming from. She felt the pain dwindle as she sat and winced as a little pain was here and there.
“Crucio curse,” Y/N whispered leaning against the wall next to Neville, her head resting on his shoulder. Tears still blurred her eyes as she looked up at him.
“Who was it,” Neville immediately said as he knew how bad that curse was.
“Draco Malfoy,” Y/N muttered looking up at him. Y/N sniffled as some pain poked at her body.
“Can I try something,” Neville asked looking down at her. Y/N looked up at him and nodded wondering what he was going to do. Neville leaned down to kiss her.
Y/N kissed back putting her hand on his neck as they sat there for a minute kissing. Y/N winced as she felt some more pain.
“We better get out of here,” Neville said standing up grabbing her hand running throughout the halls to find anyone.
162 notes · View notes
slut4supersoldiers · 4 years ago
Text
As long as you need
Chris Evans X reader
Summary: You have a bad day but Chris makes it slightly better.
Words: no idea. I literally wrote this in my notes app. Sorry!
Warning: mentions of anxiety, stress, typos and My writing in general lol!
Rating: angst to fluff U/A
A/n: This is a very, very self- indulgent one shot. I’ve been having the highest of highs and extreme lowest lows lately and today has been the latter. So here’s me indulging in my personal antidote to my never ending sorrow. Hope it makes you feel a little lighter too.
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A sigh left (y/n)’s lips. She was tired whether it was from the commute or her colleagues or her crippling anxiety was debatable. Perhaps it was a combination of all three. At this point she couldn’t care less. All she wanted to do was to lie down and cry till the fatigue drove her to sleep. Off late the tears had been her only lullaby. Unwelcomed but strangely cathartic! Tonight was no different, she thought as she got ready for bed. Her chest was already feeling heavy; breathing uneven, a tale tell sign of what was about to come next.
But her routine was disrupted by the soft vibration coming from her phone. Putting away the bottle of lotion she reached out to her device.
The bright light from her phone washed the room in a glow. “Christopher” the letters read. And for a moment she smiled.
“Am I disturbing you?” (Y/n) sighed again.
“No Christopher!” He chuckled.
“You aren’t gonna stop calling me that are you?” He tried to sound exasperated but how can he stay mad at her.
“No. Never! I am actually thinking of recording you the next time you sing poohs corner and set that as your special ringtone.” His half hearted resistance followed by a hearty laugh made multiple butterflies rise in her stomach. 
She hated the way he could change her mood in an instant. She hated the effect he had on her. How his mere existence was enough to send her heart into an overdrive and make her palms all sweaty and leave her tongue tied. She also hated that she couldn’t say all this to him.
Think about your friendship (y/n). Think about how he thinks of you as nothing but a friend.
She was spiralling again. She didn’t want to feel any worse so she chose to focus on his voice instead.
“How are you doing bambi?” It was now her turn to protest.
“You need to quit it! That was one time.”
“Oh no bambi! I’ll stop calling you that the moment you stop tripping on your own two feet.” A guttural laugh escaped his lips and she could almost see him leaning back with a hand on his chest. She wished she could actually see him. More now than ever.
Silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable though, it never was with him.
“Never answered my question.” She wished they could stay silent longer than taking about her god awful day. But maybe that could help.
“It was...long.” (Y/n) mumbled.
“Wanna talk about it?” He questioned, cautious enough to not push her too much. He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.
“How long you got?” She chuckled, the tears not far away from making an appearance.
“As long as it takes for you to feel better.” How can kindness ever move someone to tears? Maybe it’s the rarity of its occurrence, especially in her life, that made her emotional. A simple nod and smile in her direction from a stranger would make her bawl then how could she resist the emotions bubbling inside of her when the man she absolutely adored spoke to her as kindly as a mother would to her child.
“You’ll make me cry Christopher.” She wiped her wet eyes.
“Sometimes I find that helps. Don’t hold back. Even if it’s for a while, cry. Scream in the pillow if you’d like. Can’t say dodger feels as good as I do after that though.” He smiled as he heard a wet laugh leave her lips. 
He knew she was crying. She was emotional. Always had been and he hated himself for not being able to be there. The only thing he wanted more than being able to hold her was the urge to destroy everything under the sun that bothered her.
Tone it down Chris. Don’t go taking advantage of her state. She needs a friend right now. That’s all you are a friend.
They sighed. And (y/n) began to speak. He lied down on his bed and so did she. The soft words of encouragement that left his mouth were like a balm to the everlasting pain. And she felt fine. Really fine. For a moment there was no burden; no toxic co workers, no irate clients, no responsibilities, no anticipation for a better future, no regrets from the past. There was silence and it wasn’t uncomfortable. They could never make each other uncomfortable.
And as (y/n) felt the slumber taking over she thanked the heavens that this time it was his voice that lulled her to sleep. And had they not been trying to toe the line between friendship and love; maybe they would’ve professed their undying love for one another. But the silence and the soft whispers were enough this time.
Part 2
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missdawnandherdusk · 4 years ago
Text
Little Things
Draco X Reader
Request: @deanwswinchester79 But I thought of an idea that maybe the readers parents never write to her while she’s at Hogwarts, Draco notices and eventually gets her a simple gift so she doesn’t feel so lonely. She doesn’t react quite so well but over time it started to become a little tradition of theirs because they’ve come to like each other.
A/n: Thank you for such a wonderful request!! Sorry this took so long, I had most of it written with no idea how to end it, but I figured that out! think I’m gonna make the reader a Slytherin just for the proximity and convenience. Let me know what y’all think as always~ (Also it seems that my posts haven’t been circulating in the explore page... so more than ever, please if y’all love my work reblog it. Tumblr sucks and I’d hate to have to leave...)
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Being pure bloods and Slytherin, it’s not uncommon that you and Draco are near each other a lot, even before Hogwarts.
Unlike his own parents who would give him anything at the mere mention, your parents never batted an eyelash at you
They spent their wealth on themselves and expected you to sit still and look pretty. The perfect compliant child.
Sure you had everything you needed, and asked for... but you had to bluntly ask for it... there was never anything thoughtful or decent
So, you never get letters from your parents while you’re at Hogwarts
Or gifts, or packages... you write letters and send them off, but never get a response. You don’t even know if your parents get them.
So... maybe it’s a few years before Draco notices and cares.
It’s only because he happened to be sitting next to you one morning as mail came in, a flurry of owls, letters and parcels. And you don’t even bother to look up. Your eyes are trained on your breakfast, your face stoic
“Here,” Draco shoves a covered tin of treacle tarts your way. “My parents sent me these. I don’t even like them,” he scoffs, trying to play off what he’s doing.
You eye him, in disbelief and stand abruptly. “Be grateful they send you things,” you snarl and storm out of the Hall, spending the rest of the day in your room, writing a letter you never send.
Maybe after writing the letter you never send about how you feel makes you realize you were a bit rude to Draco
So you apologize when you see him next.
It’s later that night when you two are the only third years left in the Common Room. Maybe you were a bit of a coward and waited until he was alone
He reaches into his bag and offers you the same tin. “I meant it. I really don’t like sweets,”
You can’t help but laugh as you accept his small gift.
Sitting beside him on the couch, you stare at the tin in your hands.
“You can eat them,” he teased. “They’re not poisoned.” He says it so earnestly, you laugh again.
You mumble another thanks before you stand abruptly and head back to your room, leaving Draco a bit confused. He shrugs and goes back to his potions homework.
“Mother, Draco gave me some treacle tarts today. They’re from his parents. I think he noticed that you never write back. Of course it’s been three years. But at least someone noticed. If that’s what this was...”
It’s a few days later during breakfast that you get a letter. You’re shocked because it’s the first time it’s ever happened and your owl is fluttering happily on your shoulder.
It’s not signed, and you have no idea who it’s from, but it holds kind words and encouragement. It’s such delicate and immaculate script, you’ve got no idea where to start looking for the author.
So maybe you don’t. But you keep the letter and write a response. Again, it’s never sent, but it makes you smile and not feel depressed afterwards. Which is new.
Draco would never forget the innocent smile on your face as you opened the letter he had sent anonymously. You didn’t seem to notice his stare, so entraputed in the bit of parchment.
He sent you a letter maybe a few times a months. It was the most mundane things. How he liked the weather. His worries for the next exam. How you handled yourself well in Transfiguration.
He never knew you reponded to each one. And kept those letters in a fabric box under your bed. Or how every night when you were feeling depressed you’d take them out and read them. And that they made you feel better.
You knew your secret author went to school with you, and was in close proximity but that was about all you knew. Sometimes you wondered who it was writing to you. Sometimes you were just content with having a letter to hold.
“I don’t really know who you are, but I’d like to know I think. At least to thank you for making me happy, even for a short while with your letters,”
You leave that letter on your desk, not thinking to tuck it back into its box. Which is your first mistake
Your owl, seeing the letter on your desk, delivers it, knowing who your secret author is.
Draco grips the letter so tightly that the paper almost tears. Your owl preens herself on his sill. “You know,” he accuses. “Did you tell her?” Like he expects a response from the bird.
It’s Christmas, and your mystery writer sends you a parcel this time with a note: “haven’t you figured it out?” In the parcel is a tin of treacle tarts.
You freeze before your gaze turns to Draco, who’s watching you intently.
You run through a lot of emotions. Anger, confusion, gratitude, hesitation, joy... it’s all so overwhelming that tears sting your eyes and you practically run from the Great Hall, leaning against a random hallway wall and start to cry at the absolute ridiculousness of it all
Draco Malfoy was sending you letters
Really sweet letters that were thoughtful and kind and honest and nothing like you’d ever seen from him before
The there was the tin of sweets sitting in your lap. Looking at them made you cry all over again
Draco, on the other hand is very confused and rushes after you against his better judgment.
“Look I’m sorry if—” he starts but you cut him off by laughing.
“Merlin, don’t apologize,” you sniffle, standing. “Thank you,” you throw your arms around him, and pull him close, showing your gratitude. He eventually figures out that it’s a hug and hugs you back.
“You really don’t mind?” He asked, hesitant. “Because I... I know it’s stupid. But you never get anything and I know what it like to be ignored by your parents and I just thought—”
“Draco,” you call his attention, finding it sweet that he rambles when he’s nervous. “I don’t mind in the slightest. And it’s not stupid. It’s the kindest thing anyone has done for me,”
Draco fidgets and blushes slightly, looking at the ground.
“I will admit, I’m surprised it’s you,” you mused softly, catching Dracos attention and the hurt on his face. “Only because you’re... I don’t know.” You smile and shrug. “I feel like no one knows that—this part of you,”
“And what part of me is that?” He scoffs, trying to play it off.
“The sweet caring one,” you smile. “Who doesn’t mind sharing his sweets with a girl even though she knows he’s the first to eat dessert every meal,” you raise an eyebrow at him.
Draco goes a deeper shade of red because you’ve caught him in his lie. He starts to apologize again, but you stop him
Later that night you look at all of the letters he wrote you and that you wrote back. And the night before Christmas when everyone else was asleep, you spent the entire night working the letters into a book with magic
You give it to Draco Christmas morning, and though it’s lost in the pile of gifts from his parents, you’re happy (even if your parents didn’t bother to send you anything. You had a few gifts from your friends and you were okay with that)
Draco doesn’t pay much mind to the book until later that night, when he’s alone and can go through it in private. He’s surprised to see that you answered every letter you’ve written him. And he’s sort of in awe. He never knew that they meant that much to you
He thinks of you and your smile and how you’ve poured your heart out into these letters the same way he has and he never thought anyone would open up to him like that
Slytherins had a reputation to uphold—you both knew that, so the fact that both of you had this little secret made things a bit better
You see each other the next day and he thanks you for the gift and it’s a bit awkward, but in a nice way
Draco still sends you letters but now he signs them and they get a bit ridiculous that they make you laugh
“Did you see how Snape tripped over his robes today?” “You’ll never guess what Blaise did today...” “Greg actually asked me if the sky was blue because it’s not blue at night,”
They’re so endearing and making you giggle to yourself. You always catch Draco’s eye from across the hall and he raises an eyebrow at you, daring you to say something
Your friends of course want to know who’s making you laugh with their letters and you try so hard to not let your secret slip because you don’t think Draco would want anyone to know
And you’re afraid if others do know, he’ll stop writing to you. Letting his pride and ego get the better of him.
Draco wonders if you’re embarrassed to be talking to him so he never reveals your secret either but your both a bit frustrated at the other because of this dance you’re going through
He still writes to you over the summer and they’re more diary entries than they are letters but you still love them and respond when you can your parents might get suspicious and you don’t want to lose your penpal
You totally sneak into his families box during the Quidditch World Cup and your parents didn’t notice because they never do and you have the best time with Draco, both rooting for different teams
“You just like them because of Krum,” Draco accuses.
“Do not!” You argue back. “And besides he’s a great player anyway!”
Draco grumbles “I could do better,” and you have to laugh at him and he smiles at you
He grabs your hand and you both run as the Dark Mark is sent out over the match and Draco pulls you out of the chaos to where it was safe and you wait out the attack. He holds you protectively as you shake with fear against your will
Neither of you mention it. But at night you remember the feel of his arms and he remembers your warmth as you both curl around pillows wishing it was the other
Fourth year means the Durmstang students are rooming with the Slytherins and you get to share some of your classes with Krum and you might just explode with awe
Draco is jealous and hell hath no fury
Now Draco starts to send you ridiculous little gifts and notes almost weekly
Your friends (and most of the school) are now interested in this secret admirer of yours and you huff and you’re more annoyed at Draco than anything because he was being well, ridiculous
You grab Draco one day and confront him because he just sent you a bouquet of sunflowers
“What the hell?” You demand. “You said you liked sunflowers in Herbology,” Draco shrugged. You growl and storm away.
Now he’s sending you notes in class when you’re with Victor who doesn’t even sit next to you
At that point the secret is out on who your secret admirer is and now Victor won’t even talk to you because of Draco’s behavior.
You’re livid to say the least.
You stop talking to Draco altogether and become indifferent. You almost tell him to stop sending you things because you don’t want them, but you don’t.
It’s not that you don’t want the gifts and the kind gestures you just know it’s coming from the wrong place and it doesn’t sit right with you.
“What is wrong with you?” Draco demands one day.
“Wrong with me!?” You snap back. “What is wrong with you!? Seriously Draco! I’m not some shiny toy you can show off!! I’m not something you can claim either! So stop trying!”
“Who said that I was—”
You give him a sharp dangerous look and he shuts up.
You storm away again, tears in your eyes because it’s not how you wanted things to go.
It felt like you were walking away from your best friend and you knew you couldn’t fix it. And maybe that’s what it was like.
You almost run into Krum and fall down, but he catches you. Concern grows when he sees you crying. His concern for you just makes you cry more as your run back to your dorm room, not caring about the whispers around you as you lock your door and sob.
There’s a knock on your door and you have a good idea of who it is, but you don’t really want to talk to him right now
And Draco knows that. Sure, it took you to confront him about what he was doing, but you were right, you weren’t some toy to fight over
He sat against the other side of the door, mimicking your curled up position
“...I’m sorry,” You hear through the door. “You’re right. I... you’re not... I’m sorry...” 
When you finally have the courage to open the door, he’s gone
You close the door again and flop on your bed, screaming into a pillow
You may or may not fall asleep there... 
in the morning there’s a letter sitting on your window sill
Knowing who it’s from, you curl up in your covers with the letter and open it
Draco had spent about two hours thinking of how to make things right again, to prove how sorry he was... and so he poured out his entire heart to you in a letter
it was messy, scratched out, sappy, and heart felt, and apologetic and vulnerable and a beautiful mess that you couldn’t help but read again, and again, and again until you let a few tears slip out
You quickly get dressed for the day and rush into the Great Hall, seeing Draco sulking at the breakfast table, until he sees you, then his eyes go wide with panic and fear
It takes everything in you to remain composed and not run down the line of tables, but you manage
He stands to meet you and you smile, grabbing his robe and pulling him close, pressing your lips to his
“But... I... and you...” Draco fumbles, pulling away. 
“I might not want to be owned,” You grin, pulling out his letter, “But I’ll belong to this Draco any day,” 
“Deal,” He grins, and cups your face, kissing you again
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