#did have better seats last week but that was for a collection of ashtons works which was magnificent but not as popular

[questwithambition]

At the Royal Opera House, about to watch Swan lake sat right in the upper slips, glancing at people sat in boxes: one day that will be me

[kindahoping4forever]

I Don’t Wanna Spend One More Christmas Without You // Poly!Cashton

@cal-puddies​​ and I want to thank everyone who read/liked/reblogged/left us feedback during our Hoe For The Hoe-lidays event. We keep saying we can’t believe we pulled this off: between our 10 solo fics and this co-write, we posted over 30k words this week! I’m proud of not only that impressive feat but also the work we produced, these have been some of my favorite pieces in recent memory.

We knew we wanted to close out with a Galaxybrain co-write but we weren’t sure which of our lanes to feed. We figured, hey it’s the season of giving: why not both? 😏 In true Cass & Crystal fashion, this started out with us just being thirsty (we wrote the smut first lmao) but ended up being super heartfelt and emotional? Please be sure and let us know what you think, we couldn’t be prouder of this one!

Warnings: Reader x Calum, Reader x Ashton, Calum x Ashton; a relatively new throuple trying to figure out how to express their feelings for one another, filth but make it fluffy, unprotected sex within a triad relationship, oral sex performed on both a male and a female, manual stimulation of both a male and a female, cum play 

Word Count: 9150

Cass & Crystal’s Masterlist  // Hoe For The Hoe-lidays Masterlist

Let  us  know  what  you  think!

“Food’s here,” a voice quietly announces with a rap on the door.

You turn to see Calum in your bedroom doorway, sheepishly mouthing ‘sorry’ when he realizes you’re on the phone. You step over to him and whisper, “I’m almost done, bub,” reassuring him with a quick peck on the lips.

A few minutes later, you follow the sounds of loud laughter and conversation to the living room; you smile when you see Ashton standing there, in the midst of an animated story while Cal sits on the couch, hanging on every word, laughing as if it’s the funniest thing he’s ever witnessed. You honestly wonder if maybe it is.

You bounce over behind Ash, throwing your arms around him, nuzzling his back; his leather jacket feels cold against your face so you assume he hasn’t been here long. “I didn’t know we were seeing you tonight,” you chirp.

He chuckles, slinging an arm around you. “I was texting with Cal when he was ordering dinner and it sounded good so I invited myself,” he explains, kissing your forehead.

“Bullshit, I absolutely invited you!” Cal insists, smiling eyes betraying his words of protest. You giggle at their banter and untangle yourself from Ash to serve yourself some dinner. Cal continues his teasing, “The food sounded good, just admit you missed us and move on.”

Ashton sits down on the couch next to Cal and nudges his knee tentatively with his own. “Of course I missed you,” he says simply. The two men exchange sweet, almost shy smiles and you feel your entire being light up with affection as you watch them.

It’d been four months since you and Ash had asked Calum to be a part of your relationship and while the three of you were still individually and collectively deciding exactly what all that means, you were happy and that’s all that mattered to you.

In the year and a half you were with Ashton, it was as intense and meaningful a relationship as you’d ever had - but it was never quite right and you’d split up a handful of times. During one of your “breaks” last year, a friend of a friend suggested that Cal might be the answer to your search for a new roommate. You met for coffee one day and immediately hit it off; you’d be lying if you said you didn’t quickly develop feelings for him but more than anything at that point, you needed a friend and Cal was there for you when it really counted.

It came as no surprise that when Ash started hanging around again, he bonded with Cal as instantly as you did and the three of you became inseparable. You and Ashton reconciled once again and couldn’t help but notice how much more communicative and at peace with each other you were with Calum around. It’s like he had been the missing piece all along, he made everything feel right - and you eventually told him as much.

Which is why you’re struggling so much with the bad news you have to deliver to your boyfriends. You sit on your living room floor, picking at your dinner, going over the dilemma in your mind for the 100th time, trying to find a different solution.

“Darlin’?” Cal’s gentle but firm voice shakes you out of your thoughts and you look up blankly. “Ash asked if you wanted another soda.”

You blink a few times, as if that will reset your mind and bring clarity. “Oh. No thank you, love, I’m good!” You call out towards the kitchen.

“You feelin’ OK?” Cal asks, reaching across the coffee table to stroke your arm. “We’ve been talking about this food all day and you’ve barely touched it.”

You look into his dark eyes, full of care and concern and know you have to be honest with him. “I need to talk to you both about Christmas… it’s not great,” you admit.

Ashton searches your face as he sits back down. “Is your mom alright?” He gently asks, remembering a health scare your family was dealing with when he went home with you last winter.

You offer him a faint, loving smile. “Everyone’s fine… great, even. Uh… my sister is getting engaged,” you share, chewing your lip.

“Oh! ...Oh,” he responds, starting to understand the issue.

Calum looks between the two of you, baffled. “I don’t understand, why is that bad? I thought we liked her boyfriend?”

“We do,” you start, carefully. “It’s just… With this news in mind, I don’t know if it’s really the right time to tell everyone about our relationship now.” You can’t bring yourself to look in Cal’s eyes yet, not wanting to see if he’s as hurt as you fear he may be.

He sits back on the couch, trying to process. “I thought you said your parents would be super understanding and chill about us?”

Ash sees you struggling to find the words so he tries to help. “They would be. They will be,” he reassures Cal with a warm smile. “I think the concern is that an engagement might seem kind of mundane compared to an announcement like ours. What’s more exciting than a daughter bringing home one son in law? How about the other daughter bringing home two?”

“They’d spend the whole time doting on us, making sure we’re comfortable, Facebooking all the extended family who’s coming to visit to make sure no one says anything that might offend us… her moment would get totally overshadowed,” you explain. “And I’d hate that, this is a big deal, she deserves to be The Story.”

Calum listens intently, nodding. You finally catch his gaze and are relieved to see nothing but understanding and compassion on his face. “OK. Well, wouldn't it be better if I just didn’t go at all then?” He offers sincerely.

Your exclamation of “Bubba, no!” blends with Ashton’s soft sigh of “Cal…” and you all have to laugh at the outburst.

"That's not me trying to be dramatic or anything, I just don't want to cause any trouble," he shrugs.

You scoot around to come sit next to the couch. "I've really been looking forward to us spending our first Christmas together," you insist, squeezing Cal's knee. "If you're uncomfortable with coming under these circumstances, I understand but for what it's worth, I would like you there."

Ash places his hand on top of yours, reassuring Calum as well. "The family's already expecting you, just as a roommate," he points out. "Plus… trying to keep our secret could be kind of fun." He winks at Cal, who can't resist breaking into a wide grin.

Your “fun” holiday couldn’t be off to a worse start the next morning when Ashton arrives bright and early to pick you and Cal up only to find you still in your pajamas, rushing to finish getting your bags together. After a few minutes of Ash stomping around, huffing about getting a late start, Cal, peacemaker that he is, offers to help him pack the car while you finish up.

You meet them in the driveway a few minutes later, dragging your suitcase behind you. Ash promptly snatches it away from you without a word and you glare at him fiercely.

Calum appears at your side and holds you by the waist. “You can’t blame him for being irritated,” he says quietly, rubbing your arm. “You knew what time he was coming, you should have been packed.”

“Yeah… but,” you start.

Cal is already shaking his head. “No, darlin’, there’s no excuse. We had a plan, you should have been ready.”

“See!” Ashton says, coming up beside the two of you.

“Well, you don’t get to gloat, babe, you could have handled it better,” Cal chides.

“I don’t like it when you don’t pick sides,” Ash says, coming over to peck Cal’s cheek. He presses his lips to the top of your head. “I’m sorry I was a grouch.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t ready and delayed us 15 whole minutes,” you reply.

Cal pinches your hip. “Passive aggressive much?”

Ash shrugs at you. “It’s coming out of your breakfast time. It’s a 6 hour drive, love.”

“I’m aware, love,” you fire back, helping yourself into the back seat. He sighs as you pull the hood up on your sweatshirt and stuff your hands in the pocket.

Ash huffs as he shuts your door. Cal gently grabs his arm. “Give her a few minutes. We’ll make breakfast quick, coffee and bagels; smother hers in cream cheese, get some caffeine in her and she’ll forgive you,” he reassures.

His prediction is spot on and by the time you’re halfway through your cup of coffee, you’re leaning into the front seat to run your fingers through both of your boyfriends’ hair. “I’m so glad I get to take you both home with me,” you say warmly. “I’m sorry it can’t be exactly what we wanted, but I know it’ll still be special, because we’ll be together.”

The rest of the drive goes smoothly and when you arrive at your parents’ house, the family is waiting at the door for you; after introducing Calum, you’re immediately whisked away by your sister, gushing about the recent trip her boyfriend took her on for their anniversary. You listen quietly and hope your smile doesn’t give anything away, you love that she has no idea what’s coming in a few days.

Your dad loves Ashton and couldn’t be more thrilled that you brought him home again; he offers to help him unload the car and makes a big show of pointing out how similar their leather jackets are, going so far as to make a “like father, like son” joke.

You sneak a few apologetic glances over at Calum, who you hope isn’t feeling too left out in his role of “your roommate” as he makes small talk with your sister’s boyfriend. You feel endlessly grateful for your mother when you see her sit down and start showing Cal all the gourmet vegetarian recipes she’s bookmarked on her iPad, asking what he’d prefer for Christmas dinner; she’s clearly charmed by his shyly polite responses and you fight the urge to go over and kiss over his squishy, crinkly face as her attention continues to make him more smiley and flustered.

While your mom and sister set the table for dinner, your dad and Ash carry the luggage to your respective rooms for you to get settled; you take advantage of the opportunity to break away and check in with Cal, under the guise of showing him the trick to operating the shower in the guest bathroom.

You turn the overhead fan on to help drown out your conversation. “You doin’ OK, bub?” You ask, massaging his shoulders.

He squeezes your hip. “It was hard at first but your mom’s sweet,” he gives you a sad smile. “Guess I didn’t realize how weird it’d be to see you and Ash act like a couple again, since I’m used to seeing you be… whatever we are.”

“The best thing that’s ever happened to me, that’s what we are,” you easily respond, drawing him in for a quick, soft kiss.

He holds you by the hips, resting his forehead to yours. “Thank you,” he murmurs. “You better get out of here before people get suspicious.” He presses his lips to your forehead and you step out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.

You spend the next few days trying to make sure Calum doesn’t feel left out. Your dad invites him to join some of the “future son in law” activities he’d planned but Cal is easily swayed to stay with your mom and help around the house. His height and muscle mass are highly desired for decorating or carrying in groceries and he’s so sweet and well-mannered, your mom is just tickled to have him around. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think she had a crush on him.

The day before Christmas Eve, Cal agrees to join the men for lunch and last minute shopping; your mom encouraged him to go because she wanted to make a secret shopping trip with you so you could pick out a few gifts for the family to give him so he didn’t get left out.

From what Ashton tells you when they return, the outing seemed to go well; you chatted with Cal a little that evening and he seemed to be in good spirits, happy with how things had turned out. But you can still sense him needing the affection you haven’t been able to provide; aside from a stolen kiss here and there, you’d barely touched him since you arrived and he and Ash had been keeping their distance so as not to raise eyebrows. What weighs on you most is knowing Calum hadn’t slept alone since the three of you became the three of you and you can see it wearing on him.

Ashton climbs in bed next to you. “Love… who’re you texting?” He asks, already knowing the answer.

“I just want to make sure he’s OK,” you say sheepishly.

“He’s fine, love,” he murmurs, kissing your cheek, then letting his lips trail down to your neck. “You’ve said he’s had fun with you and your mom and I saw him have a great day today. He’s good… now, me on the other hand? I could use some attention.” His lips firmly attach to your jaw and he’s practically laid himself on top of you, hovering.

You giggle at his lack of subtlety. “When do you not want attention?” You tease, pulling him into a hungry kiss. “I’ve been missing you too, Ash. I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you much, I’ve just been worried about how Cal’s handling things and I love my family but being around them is kind of draining…”

He cuts you off with a sweet kiss. “I know, baby… ‘s why I thought we could use a little stress relief,” he flirts, leaning in to mouth at that spot behind your ear that makes you crazy.

You hum with interest and brush his hair off his forehead. “We’d have to be quiet, we can’t have another incident like last year,” you say with a smirk.

Ash pulls back to playfully glare at you. “We’ve gone over this, technically that noise I made was your fault. If you hadn’t done that thing with your tongue, I wouldn’t have cum so suddenly and the incident would’ve been avoided,” he argues, tickling your side.

You try fighting him off to no avail. “My sister did think it was pretty funny… after the initial horror wore off,” you giggle, batting at his hands, trying to get him to let up.

After another minute or so of play fighting, you “win” by wrapping your legs around Ashton’s body and using them to draw him back over you. He kisses you with a little more emotion behind it than last time, pulling away to whisper, “I’m very happy I get to be here with you.” Your stomach flips at his sincerity and you wrap your arms around his neck, letting your kisses tell him how much you appreciate him.

Things start to heat up and Ash’s hands slide up your sweatshirt and over your hips; his hands are slow to tease you the way they usually do and when you rock against him, you’re slightly surprised you don’t feel him straining against his sweatpants yet. Your fingers travel under his long sleeve tee and dance over his abs to meet his waistband. You’re just about to dip your hand in when he stops you.

“Does this feel weird to you? This feels weird to me,” he sighs, flopping over onto his back beside you. He runs his hand through his long, dark hair, distressed. “Why does this feel weird to me?”

You roll onto your side, curling up next to him. “Well… we haven’t been intimate together, just the two of us, since Cal happened,” you say gently, stroking softly at his chest. “Do you think maybe you miss him being with us?”

“Yeahhhhh, I think so…” He lets out a long exhale, playing with your hand on him. “I just… it’s silly, you and me had sex a million times before we met him and now… I pull away from you and expect to see his eyes smiling at me while he kisses your shoulders. Expect to feel your skin already warm from his touch… expect to feel him warm next to me. Want it, even.”

“Ash,” you pout, touched by how he’s opening up to you, how open he’s being with himself about his feelings for Calum. “It’s not silly, you care about him. It’s not that you and I are suddenly uncomfortable with each other, it’s just that we’re used to more than this now. Need it, even.”

You rest your head on his chest and lay together, quiet and understanding while you both evaluate your feelings. After a while, you decide to lighten the mood, lifting your head up to tease, “A million times, eh?”

Ashton laughs loudly, clamping his hand over his mouth to muffle the noise. A beat passes and he meets your eyes for the first time since this conversation started, giving you an almost shy smile. “Think we could slip him in here undetected?”

You grin at him as you reach for your phone. “I don’t think the three of us would be able to keep it down, so no funny business,” you warn, texting your boyfriend. “But at the very least, we’ll get some alone time, even for a few minutes.”

Ash gets up and cracks the door, waiting for Cal to make his way down the hall; when he appears in the doorway, you see Ashton’s shoulders instantly relax. He gently closes the door behind him and wraps Calum in a tight, warm embrace; you can’t tell what Ash murmurs in his ear but whatever it is, it casts a soft, lovestruck glow across Cal’s features when he hears it.

His eyes meet yours and you open your arms wide. “Come lay with us, bubba,” you invite him.

“But…” He motions to the door, looking unsure.

Ash shrugs, “We can say we’re watching a movie.” He rests his chin on Cal’s shoulder from behind. “What do you say, babe? We miss you.”

Calum relaxes, gently reaching up to scratch at Ash’s scruff. He moves toward the bed but clearly doesn’t know what to do.

“Lay next to me, bub!” You smile, patting the bed next to you.

Ash lets a soft smile cross his face. “Why don’t you get in the middle?” He suggests.

Cal lays next to you and you instantly snuggle into him, throwing your arm across his body while Ash settles in on his other side. Cal wraps his arm around you and kisses your forehead; you look up with a pout and he presses his lips to yours. He pulls away from you when he feels Ashton nuzzle his cheek; Ash looks at him lovingly and gently plants a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Thought we were cuddling, lovers,” Cal whispers against his mouth.

“We are… just wanted to give you affection too,” Ash murmurs.

The three of you lay quietly for a while, Ash’s head next to Cal’s on the pillow and you draped across Cal’s body. His arm is tight around your back while he and Ash shyly play with each other’s fingers.

Ash looks over at you and you watch as his eyes take you in. “Our girlfriend sure is beautiful, isn’t she, Cal?” He whispers, lips gently pressing to Cal’s jaw.

“Gorgeous,” he agrees, turning his eyes to you, sweeping your hair back. Ash leans in to you first for a kiss, with Cal wanting one right after. You sigh, scooting up so you can rest your head in the crook of Cal’s neck, and let yourself drift to sleep. Calum knows immediately, he’s felt your even breath on his neck many times.

“She sleeps so easy with you,” Ash comments, brushing his fingers against Cal’s for the umpteenth time. Cal finally laces his fingers with Ashton’s, looking over at him. They stare at each other for a few moments before Ash speaks again. “I’m so glad you decided to come with us after all… I know it’s not perfect and not what we talked about, but I don’t think either of us would enjoy this without you.”

“I’m really happy to be here,” Cal responds quietly, squeezing Ash’s hand and your sleeping body gently. “I was definitely missing all of this though... thanks for bringing me in tonight.”

“We needed you,” Ash confesses, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “Weird when you're not here now.”

Calum turns his face toward Ashton’s, nuzzling in and enjoying the warmth of his boyfriend, his rough hand wrapped with his; he grins against Ash’s cheek and Ash responds with a kiss to his forehead.

Cal stays, wrapped in the both of you, for another 45 minutes before the men agree it’s time to call it a night. He tries his best not to wake you as he slips out of bed but he fails, leading to an extra 15 minutes of your soft whines and insistence that he stay. He finally leaves you with a passionate kiss and a kiss on the cheek for Ash.

The next day, Christmas Eve, goes by fast. Various family and friends are in and out of the house all day, stopping by to share their holiday greetings. Continuing your family’s tradition, the men head out in the afternoon to pick out and haul home a Christmas tree and after dinner, you all decorate it together.

Like you’ve done since you were kids, the lights in the living room get turned off for a dramatic “reveal” of the lit and decorated tree when you’re all finished. The multi-colored lights get plugged in and brighten up the room, illuminating your sister’s boyfriend down on one knee. You squeeze Ashton’s hand and subtly brush your pinky down the back of Calum’s hand. Her “moment” is perfect and you silently thank your boyfriends with your eyes for understanding why you wanted this for her.

After some dessert and celebratory cocktails, everyone is exhausted but happy to be together. Your dad gets a fire going and your sister puts on the old Rudolph special you loved as kids; you plop yourself in Ashton's lap on the couch, with Cal sitting close by, close enough for you to keep throwing him little glances undetected. You know it must’ve been hard for him to go back to bed alone after the time you spent together last night and even harder today, having to watch you and Ash continually couple up and be gushed over by your holiday visitors.

Halfway through the show, your dad starts snoring so Mom decides it’s time for them to head up to bed. Your sister and her fiancée make it through to the end of the show but when you suggest following it up with Frosty The Snowman, they decline and tell you and the guys goodnight.

After such a long day, filled with so much unspoken emotion, it's surprising how quiet the three of you are now that you're alone. Sitting with your men in a room lit only by the warm glow of the fire and the soft colored lights of the tree - this was the type of scene you imagined when you envisioned your first Christmas together. But the feeling's not quite right.

You peck Ashton on the cheek before sliding off his lap, moving to sit on the other side of Calum, putting him in the middle of you and Ash. You run a hand through his hair, tentatively at first, just in case everyone in the house isn't quite settled yet. "How are you, bub?" You ask softly.

He closes his eyes, leaning into your touch and you feel your heart both swell and break a little at how badly he was clearly needing your affection. "Good. Tired. Happy I can finally do this," he replies, leaning in to give you a short but needy kiss.

When he pulls back, he grabs your hand out of his hair and brings it up to his lips for a kiss; he waits a beat then reaches for Ash’s hand and kisses it as well. “Missed you too, bub,” you murmur with a smile.  

Ash looks at both of you, adoration in his eyes. You recognize that look on his face, the one that means he’s searching for the right words, trying to line up his emotions with his nervous tongue.  

You squeeze his other hand that’s resting on the back of the couch behind Cal, sensing he needs encouragement and he glances at you, grateful.

"We both missed you, Cal,” he starts, shaking his head as he decides to go all in. “I’ve missed you, is what I mean actually. Not being able to have you close the past few days has me realizing how much closer I would like you to be."

He cups Cal’s face, stroking gently with his thumb while he waits for his words to sink in and his nerves to settle. He inches forward and gently kisses him; it’s brief but Ash is purposeful in the way their lips slot together. When he gets bold and slips in his tongue, Cal visibly tenses and Ash pulls away gracefully, not wanting to push.

You stop yourself from obviously reacting but your heart feels like it might burst out of your chest. You've watched them both struggle to navigate their feelings for each other over the past four months and you couldn't be happier to see at least Ashton take a step towards clarity. You gently rest your palm on top of their intertwined hands and squeeze twice; a supportive one for Ash and a reassuring one for Cal.

Cal, dazed, turns to look at you briefly before his eyes briefly widen as if a light bulb has gone off. He grabs Ash’s neck to pull him in for another kiss, this one more desperate, with daring tongue and teeth.

You quietly pull your hand off theirs, not wanting to intrude on the intimacy of their moment. You can't deny that witnessing their hunger for each other has you feeling needy yourself but you know how important this exploration is for them, how important it is for the three of you, so you patiently sit and watch.

They eventually pull away from each other, panting. You see them exchange a look of some sort and then Calum is reaching for you; he kisses you feverishly while lifting you over his lap and fitting you in between him and Ash. His lips move down to your neck and suddenly Ashton's tongue is slowly tangling with yours; you can tell by his kiss he's still in his feelings and you do your best to match his energy, letting him know you're there for him.

You break apart, one of your hands in each of your boyfriends' hair. You all look back and forth between each other and quietly laugh, ecstatic to be alone together and ready to take advantage of this opportunity.

Ashton gives you another lingering kiss, massaging your breast over your sweater before pulling away and immediately drawing Calum in for a kiss; they sit up on their knees, making out over you and you watch how they lose themselves in it, yet keep their hands occupied in each other's hair, almost as if they're unsure if they should go further. They each let out a quiet groan and you note the tents forming in both of their pants; you decide to help them out and reach to palm their straining cocks while they kiss.

It surprises Ashton more than Cal; he stops their kiss to look down at you. He runs a hand over your face and smiles at you briefly before his mouth is back on Cal’s.

You turn toward Calum, gently lifting his shirt and kissing on his stomach. He lets out an appreciative moan for your touch and you take that cue to unzip his pants; he eagerly cooperates in helping you pull him out of his boxers.

“Oh god,” he moans against Ash’s mouth as you use yours to slick him up before stroking your hand over his now wet cock. You’ve missed him: his sounds, his taste, the way he feels against your skin, the way he appreciates you and the attention you give him. You press sloppy kisses to his length, grinning to yourself as precum beads at his tip, moving to kitten lick at it.

Ashton gently tugs on your hair, wanting attention for himself. You continue rubbing over his bulge, adding in a few squeezes, buying yourself a little more time with Calum. You finally pull off and look up at your boyfriends, still lost in each other, though Cal steals a glance down at you while Ash’s lips are pressed to his jaw. He gives you a little grin and pushes his hand under Ash’s shirt.

You notice Ash falter for a second in reaction to Cal touching him that way but he quickly recovers from his hesitation, moaning quietly and tucking a hand in your hair. You pull at the button on his pants, taking his cock out and slicking him up as well; you swirl your tongue around the head, enjoying the soft groans you hear coming from him, thrilled that you're not sure if they're being caused by you or Cal. You notice that his hand has left you and has begun unbuttoning Cal's shirt; Calum reaches down and yanks at the shoulder of your sweater, gesturing for you to take it off.

Ash quietly sighs at the loss of your mouth but is quickly distracted by kissing over Cal's now exposed chest; you pull your sweater over your head and tug your leggings down while you're at it, leaving you in your bra and panties. You give a small whimper of relief as you press your thighs together before reaching for the cocks on either side of you, shiny and red, begging for your attention. You stroke them both evenly and firmly, watching with pride as their expressions change in response to your actions.

Calum is the first to glance at you and notice your new state of undress. "Fuck, darlin', look at you," he rasps, leaning down to kiss you, sneaking his fingers inside your bra to play with a nipple. "Look so pretty under all these lights." Cal smiles against your lips as he feels Ash's hand stroke through his hair while he kisses you.

Ashton pulls his own shirt off and then his hand snakes between your legs, tracing over the front of the lacy, damp material. "Mmm, so wet for us, baby,” he teases lowly, dipping his fingers underneath your panties to tap lightly at your clit. “Think you’ll be able to keep quiet if we decide to do anything about it?” Cal groans as he sucks just below your earlobe; he loves how responsive you are when Ash taunts you like this.

Proving his point, you let out a whine before quickly biting your lip to fight back any other sounds that might come out. Ash chuckles, suddenly rubbing hard and fast at your clit just to see how much restraint you have. You screw your eyes shut, determined to remain silent. “You’re one to talk, most of the noises I’ve heard tonight have come from your mouth, love,” you point out once you catch your breath. You squeeze his cock and he breathes out a deep moan, proving your point.

Cal chuckles at the exchange and Ash shoots him a glare, pulling him back over to him. “Laugh it up,” he smirks, kissing his neck to distract from his hand traveling to thumb over Cal’s nipple; Cal loudly gasps, body rigidly jolting like he’s been struck by lightning. He grabs Ash’s face with both hands and muffles his moans with an intense kiss.

You turn your focus back to Ash’s cock, knowing Calum is already dealing with a lot of stimulation from the nipple play. You bob your mouth on him a couple times, just because you feel like it and then work on building a steady rhythm with your hand. You bite back another moan when Cal’s hand moves down to cover yours, essentially helping you jerk Ashton off.

Despite their obvious attraction, your boyfriends have never gone beyond the occasional kiss during sex with you so tonight had already been a big step for them. You look up and see Cal, Ash’s lips firmly attached to his neck, looking curious but confident as he watches his hand move with yours. Your eyes meet and you nod, understanding; you drop your hand from Ash’s cock, leaning back to watch Cal seamlessly take over, continuing with the rhythm you started.

Ashton immediately reacts to the difference in touch: the unknown grip, the new sensation of rough calluses running over his shaft, the unfamiliar feeling of a hand much larger than yours stroking him. “Cal,” he shakily breathes, pulling back to look at him.

“Is this alright?” Calum whispers, hoping the quietness of his voice will mask his nervousness.

Ash closes his eyes and leans his forehead against Cal’s, breathing deep, trying to ground himself, trying to process all the thoughts and emotions swirling in his brain right now.

“Don’t stop,” he states with certainty.

Cal’s hand swipes over the tip of Ashton’s cock, spreading around the precum he’s coaxed out, expertly keeping with the established rhythm. You watched Ash’s expression change from confusion to curiosity and now you see it switch to the confidence you’re used to seeing from him, especially in the bedroom; you see his hand fidgeting at his side moments before he clenches his jaw and reaches out to touch Calum’s cock. His strokes aren’t nearly as precise or measured as Cal’s are but his boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind; Cal lets out a throaty sigh of his name and you swear it’s the most erotic thing you’ve witnessed yet.

The men lock their mouths into another heated kiss while they continue to explore pleasuring each other; with them distracted, you slide yourself up and off the couch, moving down to the floor to give them some space and to give you some space to spread out and really enjoy the sight before you. You tug at your nipples like Cal would and slide your hand down your stomach and into your panties to swirl your clit like Ash would. You miss their touch but you’re more than happy to wait your turn for it this time.

Your eyes don’t leave them for a second as you make slow, careful work of pleasing yourself. You watch as Ash boldly tugs at Cal’s jeans, trying to pull them down more; he gets them just below his ass and his free hand grips it tightly. You let out a little moan and Ashton reaches his hand out for you, finally realizing you’re no longer between them.

They pull out of their own little world, searching for you. Calum spots you on the ground first. “What’re you doin’ down there, darlin’?” He teases, moving down next to you.

You press a quick kiss to his lips while he undoes your bra; he quickly moves his mouth down to your tits, lavishing your nipples with much needed attention. “Just enjoying the show,” you confess, looking directly at Ash.

Ash moves from the couch, grabbing a blanket to lay in front of the fireplace. He discards his jeans before beckoning the two of you over to join him. You both crawl over to the blanket and before you get settled, Ash helps your boyfriend out of the rest of his clothes. He wraps a hand around Calum’s cock; he pauses to look at you briefly and then back over to the beautiful man naked in front of him. His tongue darts out of his mouth and before any of you can process it, he’s licking the tip of Cal’s cock.

“Oh,” Cal moans, tucking his fingers into Ash’s hair. Ashton, feeling emboldened by that response, wraps his lips around the head, continuing to test the waters. “Yeah,” Cal mutters. “That… that’s good.”

Ash’s other hand pushes up your thigh and you interlace your fingers with his. You watch as he tests circling his tongue around the tip before pulling back to turn his attention to you. He pulls your panties down, kissing your thighs and up over your lips, letting his tongue spread them so he can tease your clit. He pulls up as Calum settles in next to him, wasting no time in getting his turn at flicking his tongue over your clit.

“Been so good for us, think it’s time we repay you,” Ash murmurs, kissing up to your hip. He watches you tangle your fingers in Cal’s hair and groans when you do the same to him. His hand travels down between your thighs and he pushes two fingers into you. “Cal’s tongue feel good for you?”

You bite your lip, trying to hold in a moan. “Yes, love.”

Cal continues working over your clit while his hand reaches up your body, giving attention to your nipples once again; Ashton’s fingers continue pumping inside you, mouth settled against your jaw, unceasingly affirming his and Cal’s affection for you.

“So patient tonight, love,” he whispers, mouthing along your neck, careful not to leave any marks. “Lettin’ me and Cal play while you’re over here so wet and needy.”

You take a deep breath, overwhelmed at all of the sudden attention. “Wanted it for you, could tell you both needed it,” you admit, digging your nails into Ash’s arm as Cal’s lips enclose your clit and start sucking. “Didn’t mind watching either.”

Ashton grins and plants a sloppy kiss on you; he pulls away to lean down and run his hand softly through Cal’s hair before pulling him up from between your legs to kiss him passionately. Both men groan at the realization that Ash can taste your arousal on Cal’s lips; Ashton takes it a step further and removes his hand from your pussy, sinking his drenched fingers into Calum’s mouth. Cal hollows his cheeks and sucks Ash’s fingers deep into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them, bobbing back and forth on them, wondering when he’ll get to give Ashton’s cock the same treatment.

For what feels like the hundredth time tonight, your jaw drops at the erotic sight before you and you reach out for one or both of your boyfriends to tend to you. Your head lolls back as you whine, “Please... babes… I need you so bad.”

Calum promptly pulls his mouth away with a lewd pop and lays on his side next to you. “Need you too, darlin’, you have no idea,” he murmurs as he grabs your hip, easily turning you to your side and slinging your leg over him. “Can’t remember the last time I went this long without having you.” He takes his cock in hand, running it up and down to coat it with your wetness before easing himself inside you, silencing your soft, relieved exhale with a kiss.

Cal softly rocks into you, sucking gently at your bottom lip, stroking your hair back with his hand; you feel Ashton lay down behind you and begin running his fingers down your back, quietly showing you his care while respecting the moment you and Cal are having, much like you respected their time together.

Your hand moves down to grab Cal’s ass, attempting to bring him even closer to you; you feel his muscles tensing and flexing under your hold as he pumps inside you and you bury your face in his chest to keep from crying out. You hear the slick sound of Ash’s hand working his cock as he watches you two together and you reach for him, wanting him near.

“I’m here, love,” he reassures you, nibbling at your ear, massaging over your breast. “You two look so fuckin’ good together, couldn’t help myself.” He extends his arm, reaching to squeeze Cal’s bicep.

Your hand searches behind you until it finds Ashton’s cock, throbbing against your ass; you give it a squeeze and he whimpers into your skin.

“Ash needin’ you too, baby?” Calum asks, voice scratchy with desire. “Know you’re gonna make him feel so good, just like you’re doin’ for me.” He gives you a couple more slow thrusts before he pulls out and helps you onto your other side where Ashton lays waiting.

You smile hazily at Ash as he lifts your leg over his hip and taps his cock against your clit. “So generous with your body, love,” he praises you, hissing as he slides into your wet heat. “Treatin’ us both so good tonight, thank you, baby.”

You caress his cheek as he starts slowly thrusting into you; you press your lips to his and you both lose yourselves in a slow, intimate kiss. Calum hangs back, watching you two communicate what you need to; when Ash breaks the kiss to moan into your mouth, Cal reaches over and begins to play with your breasts.

Ashton’s large hand grips your ass to pull you closer, getting a deeper angle that has you seeing stars. You twist your upper body toward Cal and he kisses you briefly before moving his lips back to your nipples. You push your hand down his body to find his cock, getting in a few strokes before he stops you. “Trust me, darlin’, I’m not needing any help right now.” His hand slips down your body to rub soft circles on your clit. “Let us focus on you.”

“Babes,” you sigh in the form of a soft moan, raspy as it leaves your lips. The sound is so sensual it causes Ash’s hips to lose rhythm and he lets go of your ass, giving a few shallow thrusts before pulling out.

“You gotta take Cal, baby, I need a minute,” he pants, clearly on the edge of losing it. He nuzzles his nose against yours, helping you turn back to your other boyfriend.

“Hey, darlin’,” Cal coos, grinning as he enters you again. You immediately pull him as close as possible.

“Want you both close,” you announce, looking over your shoulder at Ash. He scoots in against your back, kissing over your shoulders. You sigh, “Thank you.”

You give Ashton a short kiss before turning to press your face into Calum’s chest as he works his hips a little faster, harder. You feel a moan reverberating in Cal’s chest but it’s muffled when it spills from his lips; you look up to see him kissing Ash hungrily.

You moan, getting lost in your own world, letting Cal have your body, feeling his body on yours, Ashton’s body at your back, the strength in their frames as you lay between them.

Calum pulls out and turns you back towards Ash. Ashton is still breathing heavy and his kisses are needy, almost frantic, as he pushes into you. “I’m sorry, love, I’m s’close,” he chokes out. “Between you and Cal…”

You cut him off with a kiss. “Nothin’ to apologize for, love,” you murmur. “Want you to cum for me.”

His fingers dig in and hold on to your ass hard, pulling you tight against his body. “Cum for us, Ash,” Calum whispers as he slides his hand down to grip Ashton’s ass, causing Ash’s hips to stutter and jolt against you. You watch Ash pull on Cal’s neck so he can sink his teeth into Cal’s plump lower lip as he spills his cum into you, shuddering in your arms. You let out a loud moan and you all hold your breath waiting to see if it’s woken anyone up.

Once Ash comes down, he tenderly kisses you. “Love,” he murmurs. You give him a few more sweet kisses before you feel Calum’s eager fingers on your skin.

Ashton helps turn you around and his lips shower your shoulders and neck with affection as Cal sinks into you. He groans at the new sensation of Ash’s hot cum surrounding his cock, making you feel even more wet and warm to him.

Ash pushes his hand between your bodies and starts rubbing your clit in time with Cal’s thrusts. “It’s your turn, love, been so good and selfless tonight. Let Cal feel you cum,” he coaxes. “Look at you, look at Cal, look at how good you feel to our boyfriend.”

Cal’s eyes are screwed shut, his lip between his teeth as he tries to hold in any noises. “Calum,” you moan softly. His eyes open to find yours and you lean in for a feverish kiss, a kiss that becomes all tongue as you work your body against him.

Ashton mutters “Fuck” behind you and Cal lets out a guttural moan as you start to squeeze around his cock. You whine helplessly, “I’m cumming.”

“I feel that… let it go,” Cal encourages. You press your face into his chest to quiet yourself and without thinking you start biting and sucking his skin. Ash keeps rubbing your clit through your orgasm until you gently push his hand away, too sensitive to let him continue.

When Ash pulls his fingers up, it’s immediately noticeable they’re covered in both your arousal and his cum that leaked out of you. As soon as that registers to Calum, he grabs for Ash’s hand and takes his fingers into his mouth again, cleaning and sucking them like before. Once he’s done, Ashton takes the opportunity to explore a little more, pumping his fingers, treating Cal’s mouth like he does your pussy.

You shift yourself slightly back, leaning more into Ash so you can watch Calum come undone. You feel his hips continue to drive his cock into you as you watch the obscene way Ash fingers his mouth. You could almost cum again from the visual alone.

“Gonna cum for us, baby?” You breathe, out of your mind with desire. Cal glances at you with a question in his eyes but you answer it before he has a chance to ask. “It’s OK, I want you to.”

Ashton pulls his fingers from Cal’s mouth and pushes your bodies tighter together. He wraps his hand around the back of Cal’s neck, thumb caressing his cheek. “Need you to cum for us, handsome.” And that seems to do it for him. Cal’s hips falter and he clings to you, groaning deeply as he pumps you with cum. It’s the first time you’ve ever let him cum in you and it couldn’t feel more right. His body is tense for a few more moments and then he relaxes, first pressing his lips to yours and then to Ashton’s.

“You’re gonna make a mess,” he chuckles as he gently pulls out.

“We’ve got plenty we can clean her up with,” Ash shrugs.

Cal considers that point and sits up, lifting your thigh to watch in awe as his cum - at least he assumes it’s his - starts to leak out of you. “Incredible,” he murmurs, leaning in, pressing kisses along your thigh.

Ashton sits up to join him and his eyes ping pong back and forth between watching you drip and watching Cal’s reaction to it. He swirls his fingers in the cum that’s now pooling on your thigh. He pulls back a little, drawing your and Cal’s attention. You watch in shock as he pushes his fingers into his mouth, tasting all three of you together. He moans and repeats the action, only this time, pulling Calum in for a kiss, sharing the taste with him.

They break apart and the three of you smile at each other, basking in the intimacy of everything that’s just happened. Cal lays down next to you, stroking over your hair as Ash reaches for his shirt and cleans between your thighs. When he’s done, he curls up next to you and Cal kisses him and then you. “So lucky to have you both,” Cal murmurs.

“We’re the lucky ones,” Ash smiles, grabbing Cal’s hand, interlacing their fingers and letting them rest on your hip.

“I hate that you have to go to bed alone after this,” you pout, kissing on Calum’s jaw.

“I’ll be just fine, this was worth it. Thank you both,” he whispers sincerely. He squeezes Ash’s hand and kisses your forehead.

You’re practically asleep, warm and naked, feeling safe with your loves when they finally decide it’s time for bed. The guys quickly pull their clothes back on and help you into yours. Ash takes the blanket to the laundry room while you put out the fire and turn off the Christmas tree lights. You hold their hands as you navigate the dark house, pulling them up the stairs.

You stop at the guest room to say goodnight to Cal. “You should come to bed with us,” you whisper.

Calum smiles at you but shakes his head. “I think we’ve already pushed our luck quite a bit tonight, darlin’.” He looks to Ash for backup.

“Your sister got her perfect engagement, we pulled off the world’s quietest threesome… we should take the win,” Ashton chuckles quietly.

You pout but know they’re right. Cal pulls you into him by your hips and kisses you, slow but passionate. “Get to bed, darlin’.”

You walk to your room and stand in the doorway, waiting for Ashton. You smile as you watch your boyfriends flirt, easily the most comfortable they’ve ever been with each other. Ash actively reaches out to pull Cal into a kiss and you decide it’s a moment for them; you lay in bed and close your eyes, letting the memories of the evening wash over you, filling you with warmth and contentment.

Ashton quietly enters the room, unsure if you’re awake; you feel the bed shift as he climbs in and you turn over to gaze at him dreamily. “How you feelin’, love?” You ask, carefully, wanting to encourage him to share with you without seeming like you’re pressing.

He lays on his side and gives you a loving, appreciative look. “Happy. Excited. Very, very grateful to have someone like you by my side,” he reflects, gently tracing where your t-shirt has lifted to expose your hip. “I know it’s taken me a while to kind of figure out what I need from this relationship… even back when it was just us, honestly. You’ve just always been so patient and open with me and I hope I’ve made clear how much I appreciate that. And you.”

You scoot in closer, resting your head on his pillow, your face inches from his. “Even before Cal happened, I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy, Ash. With me, without me… with me with someone else…” You both giggle and you peck his lips sweetly. “I’m glad you’re finding your place in all this. And I’m happy to do whatever I can to help you find it.”

You know it takes a lot for Ashton to share with you like this and you savor it when it happens. You lay yourself on his chest and he strokes your hair as you quietly talk some more. You’re starting to drift off to sleep when you hear your phone buzz on the nightstand. You look up at Ash, concerned, before reaching for it.

“It’s Cal, asking if we’re awake?” You shrug, quickly responding that you are.

Seconds later, your bedroom door slowly opens and Calum carefully closes it behind him. Unlike the previous night, he doesn’t hesitate to help himself onto the bed and snuggle into your back, resting his hand on top of Ash’s on your hip.

“Couldn’t sleep. It just… I don’t know... didn’t feel right being without you both after that,” he explains, kissing your neck.

Light kisses and soft touches are exchanged between you all and then there’s a brief discussion about how long the cuddle session should be. You push to have Cal sleep in bed with you and Ash and though they’re reluctant at first, you eventually convince your boyfriends that the family will be none the wiser as long as you set an alarm to get him back to his room before everyone is up and around for Christmas morning.

Ashton untangles himself from you both to set both the alarm clock on the nightstand and the alarm on his phone, just to be safe. You turn towards Cal and peck his nose. “Feelin’ OK, bubba?”

He smiles, brushing your hair back. “Me? How are you? Tonight was kind of a lot. This week was kind of a lot, I feel like I haven’t checked in enough…”

“Bub, I’m so good,” you promise him, snuggling into his chest. “I’ve got you, I’ve got Ash… I get to wake up with you both on Christmas morning. It seems crazy to say but I actually think this all turned out perfectly.”

You feel Ash press himself tightly against your back, stretching his arms out to hug you both, sandwiching you between the two men. It’s sweet at first and then it quickly becomes silly and the three of you giggle quietly, giddy with exhaustion and affection.

“Plus, now everyone has an idea of what we're all like together so it won't come as too big of a shock when I post a picture of me kissing you both at midnight on New Year's Eve," you grin back and forth between the two.

Calum chuckles, "Oh is that the new plan?"

You wrap their arms tighter across you and contentedly say, "New year, new beginning. Let my sister have Christmas, New Year's will be ours."

Your words hang in the air as you all consider the weight of them. Ash breaks the silence by laughing to himself, causing both you and Cal to look at him with inquiry.

"Care to share?" You ask, using Cal's hand to playfully jab Ash's side, causing him to laugh more.

Ashton looks at you both and smirks, "I was just thinking… if tonight was Christmas sex at your family's house, the fuck are we gonna do to celebrate New Year's Eve at home?"

Calum snickers beside you, a naughty look on his face making you wonder what's running through his mind.

"Well," you start, playfully nipping under each of your boyfriends' jaws. "We've got a whole week to figure that out, now don't we?"

————-

Taglist issues again so my apologies if you get notif’d more than once (or not at all)

@mymindwide​​ @suchalonelysunflower​​​ @pxrxmoore​​ @loveroflrh​​ @ghostofmashton​​ @sexgodashton​​ @feliznavidaddycal​​  

@castaway-cashton​​ @ashtonlftv​​ @cashtonasfuck​​ @megz1985​​ @ashdork-irwin​​ @angelicfluffs​​ @findingliam-o​​ @youngbloodchild​​  @irwinsbetch​​ @everyscarisahealingplace​​

@wiildflower-xxx @metalandboybands  @realisticnotes  @makeamovehemmings @golden166​ @burstintocolor

@mfartzzz​​​ @babyoria​​​ @petunias-pet​ @youngblood199456​​​ @notinthesameguey​​​ @seanna313​​​  @zhangyixingxing1​​​ @stardust-galaxies​​​  @zackoid​​​

@lovelybonesetc​​​ @xsongxbirdx​​​ @justhereforcalum​​​   @ashtonangst​​

@laura66sos​​​ @calumrose​​​ @karajaynetoday​​​  @pilunb​​​ @jazzyangel242​​​ @babylon-corgis​​​  @heyheyhaleyd​​​ @calmsweetcreature​​​

@spicycal​​​ @talkfastromance4​​​  @holystxne​​​

@meetmedowntown​​​ @myloverboyash​​​

@irwindoll​​​ @cheekysos​​​ @carrielfisher​​​ @lukedorkyhemmings​​​ @creampiecashton​​​ @lovelywordsblog​​​

@trix-arent-for-kids​ @uh-huhh-honey​ @tobefalling​ @aladyofalbion​ @likehuhdude​

@curlycalums​​​  @cxddlyash​​​  @reddesert-healourblues​​​

@fedorable-killjoys​​​  @iamcalumswhore​​​   @i-like-5sos​​​  

@aquarius-hood1996​  @babylonashton​  @letmeadoreyoucalumx

@begluketostay​  @four-brits-and-an-irishman​​   @mateisit-balsamic​​ 

@crazyforcal​​   @neso-k​​   @deliciouslydisturbed365​​  @blxndeprincess​​

[heartcal]

“who do you believe?”; l.h.

Disclaimer: i didn’t want to write sierra as a bad person because i personally cannot see that, and i know there’s some discourse about her within in the fandom but i don’t want any of that here! so i named the girlfriend after a girl who bullied me in elementary school lol (but another disclaimer: i do not want to see any hate towards the boys’ s/o! pls don’t send any asks that talks bad about them, i will not answer them!)

thank you for requesting! :^)

a/n: while transfering this from microsoft word, the formatting kept screwing up for some reason so if there are some janky paragraphs, i apologize! not too comfortable with this one compared to my previous fic (this feels rushed) but it is long and i did not mean for that to happen lol. enjoy!

if there are any mistakes, please tell me!

pairing(s): not really a mention of luke hemmings x reader but it’s mostly luke hemmings x named gf (rachel/oc) (gender neutral but if i slipped up, please let me know!)

summary: having known luke for years, it was bound to happen eventually. the crush you developed happened before you could stop it, and you did your best to keep it a secret. you told no one, did your best not to show it, so what do you do when his girlfriend finds out?

genre: angst, and mostly angst >:^)

warnings: swearing, luke’s gf being mean, bullying?

wc: 4,057 (she’s a long one)

my masterlist!

You don’t know when it happened, or frankly how it happened, but one thing is for sure: you don’t want to feel this way.

Was it when he bought you a stuffed animal version of a pet you had as a kid, one that you remember so fondly and still tear up about it to this day? Or was it when he would always bring back a certain candy you can only find in its country of origin, and bring as much as customs would allow? Maybe it was when he printed out every photo he could find from the beginning of your friendship to the present day (at that time) and made a scrapbook for your birthday since you cherish memories?

Whatever memory it was, you want to track it down and destroy it. It wasn’t fair that you developed such strong feelings for your best friend, knowing he doesn’t feel the same since he’s taken.

It’s not that he isn’t attractive – far from that because if anything, you wish you could draw just so you can draw him because there’s no way someone can look that good – but it’s more of the fact that he’s your best friend, someone you hold dear to you.

You two grew up together; saw each other’s worst phases, styles, and embarrassing moments (it was well documented towards the middle of the scrapbook). He was with you when you went through bad break-ups, and you with him. Throughout school, you two were inseparable, and when the band got big he made sure to keep you close and to never lose contact. It was hard in the beginning but you two managed.

Now finished with college, you’ve taken on the role of working with the team when they’re on tour and helping plan aesthetics for the next album. He offered the jobs after you struggled to find a job after graduation, and in the end, you enjoyed being with the guys and doing the tasks needed.

Tonight, the band was set to play their new album to an intimate crowd. It was to welcome back old fans and welcome new fans, introducing both sides to a new sound they worked hard on. You couldn’t be any more proud.

You sat on the couch as the guys walked around the room, pepping themselves up and hyping each other. You had finished doing your tasks with the crew and spent your free time watching the band prepare as the audience began to fill in the theater seats.

A nudge on your arm makes you direct your eyes from Michael styling his hair with a nervous expression to the person on your left.

“What’s up?” you asked, smiling at the curly-haired individual.

Luke shrugs, glancing around the room before his eyes land back on you. He has a small smile on his face as he leans back onto the couch, “Nothing.”

You scoff, shaking your head with a smile, “Yeah, sure, ‘nothing,’” you mimic, tilting your head to the side, “I doubt that.”

“What do you want me to say?”

You give him an incredulous look, crossing your arms as you turn to face him. You can tell he’s nervous, like the rest of the team and the band, but he won’t admit it. He’s always wanted others to view him as strong and unbothered, especially when those around him feel off.

He mirrors your position, a smirk on his lips because he knows you’re about to lecture him.

And he’s right.

“Your band has a new album out in a couple of days—an album you guys have worked hard on even when your management gave you shit, mind you—and you’re about to perform a majority of the songs in front of 500. Are you not nervous?”

He shakes his head, smugly smiling as he returns to his position leaning against the couch, watching Ashton dry the wet ends of his hair.

“Liar,” you mumble, uncrossing your arms and taking your phone out to check the time.

“Alright,” Luke sighs, giving in, “maybe I’m a little nervous, but I’m not a wreck.”

He’s still a liar. The success of their last album was astounding, so creating an album to reach that level and hopefully top it was hard enough. Playing it in front of an intimate crowd who may or may not like it was tough.

Luke isn’t cocky. He’s a humble man, but he likes to joke around in stressful situations. He’s used to concerts, so he doesn’t have any anxiety when it comes to performing. But when he is nervous for any reason, he won’t show it. He’ll act cool, completely collected with his head held high in confidence. If he needs to relieve the stress, he’ll either do it himself with a strong pep talk, or he’ll go to you.

“What are you nervous about?” You ask, wanting to make him feel better.

“Will they like it? Will it even chart? Is it too bold?” he continues listing out his insecurities about the album and the performance, finally lifting everything off his chest.

And you listen. The way his eyes stare into yours with slight confidence, covered by worry makes your heart sore. Luke’s kept everything inside and now that he’s listing his grievances, it makes you wonder just what else you can get out of him that he’s kept buried inside.

However, before you can give him your insight on this particular problem, “Luke!”

His head immediately turns to the door, the worry in his eyes fading out into sheer happiness and adoration. Something you’ve always wanted to see directed towards you.

Luke stands arms wide as he captures his girlfriend in his arms for a hug. Her arms wrap around his waist as his arms go around her shoulders, dipping his head down to kiss her on the head.

“I can’t believe you made it!” you hear him speak with excitement, expressing more words of happiness as he guides her to another part of the room.

You don’t miss the way her eyes glare in your direction, and you’re not afraid to give her a look back.

Rachel was nice when you met her. You actually liked her, despite your crush on Luke, and you were rooting for the two. But, a couple months ago during a stressful week, she turned on you. Her attitude towards you shifted, almost as if you had disrespected her and her bloodline. She would always act as if you weren’t in the room, and when plans were made with the boys, she would “accidentally” leave you out. It was embarrassing for you when you’d find out your friends went out, calling you to find out why you didn’t come. Due to the embarrassment, you would go along with it, making up some excuse as to why you were absent.

None of the boys, to your knowledge at least, have caught on to her antics, and you honestly hope they don’t. Whatever it is you did to her, you want to find out for yourself so you can fix it.

With a sigh, you stand from the couch, stretching your arms briefly before wandering to Calum, who stood in the shower room connected to the dressing room.

“Hey,” you greeted him with a warm smile.

He smiles back, finishing his drink before tossing the plastic cup in the trash. He grabs his bass, which was placed on the counter, and holds it out to you.

“You want me to see if it sounds out of tune?” you jokingly ask.

He nods, “Yeah, I feel like one of the chords might be flat.”

You chuckle as you pluck a random chord. His instruments are always tuned before it’s time to play. One of his pre-show nervous ticks was the constant doubt of his instruments being playable.

“It’s fine, Calum.”

The doubt shows on his face as he brings his guitar back to himself, putting it on and checking the chords himself, but it doesn’t last long as Ashton’s voice calls everyone to the center of the room.

Walking with Calum to where the rest of the crew was, you notice how attached Luke was to Rachel. Joint at the hip, arms wrapped around each other; it was annoying.

“Show starts in ten,” Ashton gains your attention, holding up a cup as Michael hands Calum a similar cup before doing the same to Luke. The three follow the drummer’s action as he continues, “let’s make this show fuckin’ awesome.”

The crew cheers, dying down quickly as Michael gives his thoughts, “We worked our asses off for this album, I don’t have any doubts about it. We got this, guys!”

The cheers resume as those with a drink take a celebratory sip before placing their empty cup on a surface near them.

Calum leaves your side to join Michael while Ashton heads to you.

“You excited?” he asks, putting his right arm around your shoulders with a large smile.

“Yeah!” you return the smile, “What about you? Nervous like the others?”

He shakes his head, crinkling his nose, “I’m not too nervous. I’m just happy to play again.”

You’re about to ask him what song he was the most excited to play, starting to get into the conversation but yet again you are interrupted by Rachel.

“Hey, Ash,” she greets him, Luke following close behind her as his arms make their way back around her shoulders again.

“Hi, Rachel,” Ashton nods his head at her – his eyes dance to Luke briefly before returning to Rachel’s, “didn’t think you’d make it.”

“Couldn’t miss your big show,” she smiles, looking up at her boyfriend as she pats his stomach.

Luke laughs, gently pushing her hand away from him, “I’m surprised, too—“ he grabs the guitar a crew member hands him, left arm lifting itself from Rachel’s shoulder as he slips the strap over his head, “—because her schedule did not look clear enough, but here she is.”

“Three minutes,” a different crew member rushes out, patting Luke and Ashton’s shoulders before rushing to tell the others.

“See you after,” Luke shifts his guitar away from Rachel before leaning down to kiss her on the lips – something you wish you didn’t see – and turning around to head out of the dressing room.

Ashton gives you a quick hug, “Excited for the lights,” he mumbles in your ear before turning to Rachel to give her a side hug.

It doesn’t go unnoticed how Rachel’s eyes glared at you by Ashton, but he doesn’t mention it as he heads out with the other guys towards the stage.

As a majority of the crew follow them out, you stay behind to clean up the empty cups and other trash, trying to occupy yourself as Rachel too stayed behind.

Her eyes followed you as you moved about the room, carrying the small plastic bag with you as it fills up with cups and wrappers. You could feel the glare burning into your side and back as you paid her no mind.

When it was just you two left, the bass from their opening song was heard and felt as you finished picking up the garbage.

“For how long have you liked Luke?”

You froze. Your head whipped towards Rachel, wide-eyed as you glanced around the room to make sure it was just the two of you.

“What…what are you talking about?” You can feel an extreme warmth rising up from the bottom of your back, all the way to your face, nervousness clouding your brain as she stares you down.

“Luke—,” she crosses her arms and moves to the couch, “how long have you liked Luke?”

“I don’t—I,” you stutter, your stomach dropping as you realize you’ve been caught.

His girlfriend knows you like him.

“Cut the bullshit,” she spits, “I can see it. You’ve been friends with him for years, you obviously caught feelings for him.”

You shake your head, standing up straight to give off the illusion of confidence. Turning your back to her and towards the door, “I don’t have to talk to you.”

You opted for walking out of the dressing room and go watch the band from the side of the stage, but you made a quick stop in the bathroom to splash cold water on your face.

You did what you could to avoid her during their performance. You knew she was watching you, seething at how you ended the conversation so fast.

Rachel wanted to break you down, find the reason why you like him and separate you two for as long as it takes to make him fall in love with her. She finds you a problem in their relationship because of how close you and Luke are, because of how long you’ve known each other. A threat to her and her relationship.

An hour and a half later, the show is finished and the whoops and cheers from the crowd indicate the album was very well received. That thought swept the interaction with Rachel from earlier under the rug as the boys’ adrenaline spread throughout the crew.

Ashton was first to greet you, sweaty and ready to envelop you in a hug but you’re quick to avoid it, ducking down just as his arms closed around the space where your head was. He laughs it off, heading for his next victim.

Next was Calum, who grabbed a drink from Andy and gulped it down. He had a smile on his face after, only growing wider when he saw you. “I think they liked it!”

“Bass in tune, huh?” you return, patting his back as he passes you to go to the next person.

Michael is the third, taking off his hat (which made you question why he was so worried about his hairstyle that he spent at least fifteen minutes playing with before the show). He stops in front of you, phone in hand as he takes a picture of the two of you: a tradition he started a few tours ago as a joke.

Finally, Luke makes his way towards you, ready to ramble about the show but is brisked away by Rachel. He doesn’t even glance over at you after he’s taken away towards the hall.

Entering the dressing room where the rest of the boys sat, you saw Michael talking animatedly on the phone, Calum laying across the couch with an arm over his eyes, and Ashton wiping off excess sweat with a towel. He was the first one to notice you.

“Ready for that hug?” he asks as you approach him.

“Why not.”

You hug each other, smiling as you pulled away. In the distance, over the cool-down music, you hear Luke’s laughter in the hall. Knowing he’s with Rachel makes you wonder if she’s told him about her suspicions, and that thought alone makes you clam up all over again.

Ashton immediately notices, tilting his head as he asks you what’s wrong.

“Nothing,” you quickly reply, eyes focusing on him.

He notices how jittery you seem, but he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable so he says nothing.

“Guys,” Andy comes in with his camera in hand, “we need to take a few photos.”

The three agree and follow the photographer out. You move to the snack table for a bottle of water, but before you can take a sip, someone clears their throat in the doorway.

You roll your eyes immediately because you know who it is. You don’t pay her any attention and instead take the sip of water you need.

“We need to finish that conversation you oh-so rudely ended,” Rachel moves into the room, keeping her voice down as she crosses her arms.

“We don’t need to finish anything.”

She scoffs, “I asked you a question, and you were so quick to avoid it. I think you’re proving a point.”

“What point?” you turn to look at her, “I know you don’t like me but I don’t know why, can we start with that?”

“Like I said before, I know you like Luke. He’s my boyfriend, and I don’t like how he’s close to you.”

“We grew up together,” you state, standing tall as you glare at her, “of course we’re going to be close.”

“Well I don’t like it,” she huffs.

You shake your head with a sigh, closing the lid to the bottle as you turn your back to her. You were getting angry at the fact that someone who didn’t know Luke as long as you did was hinting that you should stay away from him.

“Stop hanging out with him.”

A curt laugh escapes you before you can stop it, “Are you jealous of our friendship?”

“No,” she smirks, “but I know you’re jealous of our relationship.”

She’s right; you’re only a little jealous of their relationship, but it’s not something you want to risk your friendship with.

You open your mouth to defend yourself, but you’re caught off-guard when nothing comes out. The one opportunity to make her believe you don’t like her boyfriend and you can’t say anything.

Giving up with sinking shoulders, you glance at the door before looking back at her. Grimacing at her knowing smile, “How did you find out?”

She hums, “It was easy. I love him, so I know what it looks like to look at someone you love. You made it so obvious, I’m surprised no one else found out!”

You grit your teeth. You did your damn best to make sure no one, especially Luke or Rachel, know how you feel about him.

“I’m not intimidated by you,” she walks closer to you, arms uncrossing as her hands move to her hips, “but I won’t deny the fact that you and Luke have chemistry.”

“What will it take—” you place the bottle back on the table, “—for you to leave me alone?”

“Do the same to him.”

“What?”

“Leave him alone, unfriend him,” she shrugs, “simple as that.”

“That’s ridiculous,” you walk around her to the door, ready to end the conversation.

“Do that or I’ll tell him,” with a harsh tone she walks towards you, grabbing your arm to stop you from walking.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Okay,” another voice from the doorway makes the two of you jump, “that’s enough.”

Ashton walks into the room, grabbing Rachel’s hand and removing it from your arm.

“W—” she stutters out as she watches the tall man move to stand in front of you.

“I came back for my drumsticks—” his eyes shift to the object sticking out of his bag before dropping down to Rachel, “—but instead I find you, what, threatening a good friend of ours?”

Rachel is speechless while you’re frozen. It was embarrassing enough for one person to find out about your crush on Luke, but now Ashton might know and you want to go into hiding.

“Let it go,” you tug on Ashton’s shirt to get his attention but he doesn’t move.

“Telling someone who’s known your boyfriend longer than your relationship to just abandon him is low, Rachel. Don’t think the way you’ve been treating our friends has gone unnoticed.”

You hear more footsteps approaching the room, and now you wish the ground can swallow you up. You don’t want all this attention on you.

“What’s happening here?” Michael says as he peeks into the room, Luke behind him as Calum leans against the other side of the doorway.

“Nothing—,” Rachel tries to deflect but with four pairs of eyes on her, it becomes too much. Tears start pouring out, and you’re in disbelief.

How can she be the one crying after she was the one who was rude to you?

Luke immediately rushes in, creating a beeline right to her side to wrap her in his arms.

His eyes dart to yours, an emotion on his face of something you’ve never seen, but you know it’s not good.

“What did you do?”

You’re taken back by his tone and the way his angry eyes stare you down. It hurts because instead of staying neutral and finding out what exactly happened, he immediately chose a side: a side of someone he’s known for only for a short amount of time.

“Mate,” Ashton speaks up for you, “I think you’re asking the wrong person that.”

“No,” Luke’s voice raises, eyes moving from yours to stare into his band mate’s, “I’m asking the right person.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, your eyes welling with tears as the weight of everything happening within the last ten minutes starts to bring you down. Your eyes move away from the ones boring into yours, and with a tremble in your voice, “I didn’t do anything. She’s the one who started—.”

“Bullshit!” Luke’s roar cuts you off, “Absolute bullshit, because if she started it, then why is she the only one crying?!”

The two other guys move in to the room to mediate the situation.

“Luke, calm down,” Michael’s hands raise to the motion of ‘calm down’ as he tries to get Luke’s attention.

“There’s gotta be more to the story,” Calum moves to your side, checking on you briefly.

“Don’t,” Luke states as he watches Calum grab your shoulders to move you out of the room.

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” Ashton questions. He watches Luke soothingly rub Rachel’s back, wiping her tears with his free hand.

“My girlfriend is crying and you two were the only ones in here,” Luke replies, gently grabbing Rachel’s arms so he can look directly into her eyes, “what happened, babe?”

“I asked them—,” Rachel sniffles, continuing her façade, “—if they needed any help cleaning the room earlier and they yelled at—at me and told me to go away. Then after the show when you guys went for your photos, I came here to apologize to her, even though I didn’t do anything wrong.”

She was selling it; the tears, the sniffling, the stutters, and hiccups. A great actress who knows what she wants.

“That’s not true,” you inhale, your ears feeling warm and ringing, “she has had a problem with me lately and I don’t know why!”

Luke scoffs, shaking his head, wrapping Rachel in his arms again.

“C’mon,” Michael mumbles, wanting to leave the room.

Ashton turns around, watching your face go from pleading to blank as the tears fall from your eyes. He turns his head to face Luke, “You’re unbelievable,” he grabs your shoulders and starts to move you out of the room, “let’s go.”

Michael is already out of the room, the tension too much for him and ruining the after-show vibe. Calum is waiting by the door ready to help lead you out. Ashton has you turned around, pushing you towards the door.

“Wait, Luke,” you mumble, getting out of Ashton’s hold and turning back to face Luke.

He doesn’t look at you, sighing as he rubs Rachel’s head as it’s against his chest.

“Please,” you plead, begging him to look at you and when he does, you ask, “who do you believe?”

“What?”

“Who do you believe, Luke,” you gulp with a sniffle, “me or her?”

For a moment, you think you see hesitation. His jaw tenses as he stares you down, his best friend for years and someone he turned to when times got tough. He then looks down at the girl in his arms, someone he loves crying into his chest.

He sighs again, this time soft, before looking up to meet your eyes. He does notice the tears, the pain etched on your face as his other best friends watch them. “I believe Rachel.”

“This is fucking stupid,” Ashton mutters as he gently grabs your shoulders again to lead you out of the room.

You let the tears fall freely, not meeting any of the boys’ eyes as you kept your head face down.

You’ve lost your best friend. He chose someone else over you, a lie he chose to believe.

Whatever it was that made you catch feelings for your best friend, you wish you can find it and destroy it, along with any other memory you’ve made with him. After tonight, you want him erased from your cherished memories.

---

part two!

[talkfastromance4]

Beauty behind the Madness--Ashton Irwin (mafia!au)

**copyright listed below

A/N: It’s finally here! This idea was born so many months ago but I never did anything with it until I watched the movie 365 and ideas started to flow. I’ve worked on this for nearly two months, and I’ve never spent so much time on something as big as this before,so thank you for your patience! I would like to give enormous ‘thank you’s to @sexgodashton and @sadistmichael for beta reading, editing and giving feedback and other insights when I was stuck (which was many times), to @spicycal @karajaynetoday​ and @cheekysos​ for also beta reading and letting me scream at you about this process. I’m so so grateful for each and every one of you!❤💖 Also, this fic is inspired by The Weeknd’s ‘Beauty behind the Madness’ album and I listened to it a lot while writing. (Drown by Tyler Carter is Ashton and Nadia’s song in my head as well)

Word count: 27.1k

Warnings: mentions of violence involving guns, mentions of blood, casual drinking, swearing, sexual occurrences (female receiving oral, fingering, male receiving oral, consensual sex, slight dom!ashton). Please read with caution

donate to my ko-fi here :)

Masterlist

Enjoy! :) feedback is always welcomed

• • • •

Ashton sets his drink on the lacquered maple countertop inside La Belle Vie, the ice clinks together in a satisfying finish. He checks the time on his gold embroidered black Rolex; he’s just in time to finish the dirty work his cohort set up. He slips past the bar, half ignoring the woman sitting at the end who stares him down like a hawk and descends the concrete steps to the interrogation room.

He faintly hears a fist connecting to flesh, grunts echo along the walls and his designer boots smacking articulately on the floor. One of his guards opens the door with a grandiose gesture as he undoes his cufflinks. As soon as he enters the room, another associate removes his suit jacket. It’s a rehearsed dance with the next step being Ashton rolling his sleeves up.

In view is his right-hand associate, Calum Hood, dressed down to his black tank top tucked into his Armani trousers. His face is contorted in concentration as he delivers another bloody punch to the man’s face who is tied to a chair. His face is a bloody mess, his shirt torn.

“We got what we needed?” Ashton asks coolly pulling his glock from the holster resting against his left side.

“Yeah,” Calum huffs, shaking his hand and flexing his fingers. “He said something about Nadia, though.”

Ashton’s hazel eyes flash in anger, he clicks the safety off his gun, and the man groans before him.

“What did you say?” Ashton demands as he shifts places with Calum who is handed a towel from Luke. The man mutters something under his breath. “Speak up, it’s hard to hear you through your own blood.”

“What does it matter? You’re going to kill me anyway, no?”

Ashton presses the end of the gun to his cheek, pressing hard so it turns his head back. The man’s green eyes are vibrant against his blood, and Ashton can see the fear in them.

“Tell. Me,” Ashton says fiercely.

“You better keep your bitch on a leash, or the Snatchers will catch her,” the man cackles manically.

Ashton snaps his wrist swiftly and pulls the trigger, right in the center of the man’s forehead. His body jerks and slumps in the chair, the sound of the gunfire echoing in the small room. He glances at Calum, his jaw working in anger at the man’s last words.

“Clean up down here, gentleman, then join me for a drink,” Ashton says, slipping his glock back in the holster. After a kill, his body is always electric and warm, so he holds his arm out to the associate who removed his jacket and they drape it over his forearm.

Calum follows quickly behind him, pulling his dress shirt on as he ascends the stairs. Paco, the bartender, already has his glass refilled along with a new drink for Calum. The woman at the end of the bar reaches for Ashton, her fingers greedy and her eyes crazed.

“You seem tense, can I help?” she asks, batting her fake lashes.

“Sorry doll, he’s a taken man,” Calum intercedes by pushing her hands away. She pouts as the two men walk away.

“Thanks, she had her eyes on me the whole time I was here,” Ashton says pressing his lips to his glass. The amber liquid is refreshingly cold as it slides down his throat.

“I’ve seen her here before, not really sure who she is but she should know who Nadia is.”

The two gentlemen take a seat at their table near the back, far away from everyone else and in perfect sight of the door. The music is loud enough to enjoy as the girls dancing on stage move hypnotically to the beat. Other associates and frequent club members sit in the leather chairs with cigars and drinks in hand as they observe the women.

“That almost worries me, Cal,” Ashton sighs resting his foot on his opposite knee. “I don’t want anyone knowing of Nadia and it seems like everyone does. That puts her in danger.”

“She’s well-guarded at all times, you know that. The bastard was just talking shit to get a last rise from you,” Calum says then smacks his lips after taking a drink.

“What did he say to you?” Ashton watches Calum carefully, his dark brows crease. “Calum, what did he say?”

“He said the Rozhkov’s and the Snatchers love the way she dances.” He glances nervously at his friend, his boss.

Ashton checks his watch again. Nadia should be arriving at the club soon with Vinny; he sent her on a full spa day. She’s been working hard and one of Ashton’s main goals is to make sure she’s well taken care of.

“He was talking shit,” Calum repeats, “No one would dare go after her.”

“How did—” Ashton stops short because the doors open and his eyes meet Nadia’s.

His whole world shifts, all that he’s done, all that he will do, vanishes. Nadia is the light of his life and she shines as she walks her way over to him. Her dark hair falls in perfect waves down her chest, the silver necklace he bought her hangs perfectly between her cleavage. She’s a vision as he rises from his seat, as does Calum, to greet her. It’s respectful to stand whenever a boss’ significant other enters the room, they’re like royalty.

Ashton extends his hand, gaudy rings shining in the lowlight and Nadia’s hand slips inside his.

“Hi angel,” he says softly, giving her a squeeze.

“Hi, honey,” she smiles walking into his arms. She pecks his lips delicately, a feather light touch. “Hi Cal,” she smiles and leans over to kiss his cheek.

“Come sit with me,” Ashton pulls her with him as he sits back in his armchair. She finds her place in his lap comfortably, one arm behind his shoulders. She crosses her tan legs that show beautifully beneath her gold dress. Ashton’s arms hold her close, his fingers locked together on her hip. “How was the spa?”

“Wonderful,” she smiles, rubbing her nose against his. “You didn’t have to do it, you know.”

“I wanted to; you had a rough week.”

“It’s only Tuesday,” she giggles.

“Yeah, and you came home last night all in a tizzy, climbing into my lap in my office—”

Nadia covers his mouth with her hand, silencing him. “Shush!” Her warm brown eyes glide to Calum.

He smiles behind her hand, pulling it away from his mouth to kiss her fingertips.

“I’ve heard way worse, sweetheart, trust me,” Calum chuckles taking a drink. “Can I get you something?”

“Amaretto sour,” Ashton answers for her and she smiles. “Three cherries.”

“Comin’ right up,” Calum winks then moves to the bar.

Ashton sighs, trailing his fingers over her back, staring into her warm brown eyes.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” she smiles adjusting one of his chains. Her blood red, almond-shaped nails rub through his chest hair, she follows the trail to his top button of his shirt. She unbuttons it delicately. “There, now you can breathe.”

“One amaretto sour,” Calum says, handing the glass over to Nadia. She takes it with glee, slurping up the drink happily. “If you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with Asana in the Gold Room.”

Ashton and Nadia look behind Calum to see Asana waiting by the deep maroon curtains that lead to another set of stairs. Her dark hair is in a high ponytail atop her head, the gold eyeliner and gold lipstick contrast beautifully with her dark skin. It made her appear regal and Nadia was always stunned by her beauty.

The Gold Room is a special room where members of Ashton’s association go to…unwind. Men and women of the association meet there frequently when there’s downtime, like tonight, or after a successful mission. Asana is the head of weaponry; Ashton always gets the best from her and he trusts her with his life.

“See you two later,” Calum winks starting to walk backwards, his eyes on Nadia, “make sure he gets some rest.”

Ashton and Nadia watch Calum approach Asana who gives him a sly smirk as he takes her hand kissing it. As they disappear behind the curtain, the song changes and a cloud of cigar smoke creeps up on Nadia and Ashton. She scrunches her nose at the smell, Ashton kisses it.

“We can take our drinks to my office, angel,” he tells her, knowing she doesn’t like the cigar smoke. It always gives her a headache.

“Aren’t Luke and Michael going to join us, soon?” she asks while plucking one of the cherries from her glass.

Ashton’s momentarily mesmerized by the way her lips pucker around the bright red fruit before it disappears in her mouth. She tosses the stem onto the small table beside his chair then swipes her thumb on her chin collecting the cherry juice and licking it off.

“I think they’ll understand. Come on,” he pats the side of her bare thigh, so she stands.

Their fingers link together as he leads her past the bar to a secret door on the left. Once inside, Nadia clutches onto Ashton’s hand a little tighter, she says the space creeps her out because of the minimal lighting and dark walls. He’ll never tire of her feeling safe with him, that’s all he wants is her love and trust to protect her.

They reach the silver elevator doors; he pushes the button with one of his rings and the doors part open. Her heels scrape against the floor as he pulls her against his chest, her giggles echo the small space, their reflection apparent on every wall.

“Is this that new dress you bought a few weeks ago?” he asks tenderly, eyes roaming over the glittery gold fabric hugging her body perfectly.

“It’s the new dress you bought,” she pokes his nose. “You’ve got to stop spoiling me or people are going to get the wrong idea, honey.”

“What wrong idea is that?”

The doors slide open as they land on the second level, only certain clientele is allowed up here. Nadia is always at the top of the list. Nadia tugs his hand leading him out of the elevator right into his office. The first time she was brought into his office, it made her feel apprehensive, but it was also the first night they met, and it was under dangerous circumstances.

 ***

The rain is falling harshly on the hood of Ashton’s red Aston Martin Superleggera. He's cloaked in the dark of the night as he sits and waits for members of the Rozhkov family to arrive at the abandoned building he’s parked next to. Aleks Rozhkov has scheduled his associates for a pickup of money and parts. Parts that have intrigued Ashton so greatly that he wants to find out exactly what they are.

He’s been here for hours, waiting, watching.

Calum insisted on going with him for added protection, but Ashton declined. He knows the target on his back is large, but his element of surprise is his calling card and this ambush would give him the answers he needs. He sighs glancing at the clock on his dashboard, his thumb rubbing over the silver-winged design on his steering wheel. He always liked how the emblem of his car matched the condor tattoo on his neck, a dangerous pair with the desire to fly.

There’s movement to his left, and he sits up a little straighter then sighs when he sees it’s a civilian. She’s walking through the rain with an umbrella clutched tightly in her fingers, and Ashton notices she keeps looking behind her. Then she stops and three men suddenly surround her; the three men Ashton has been waiting all night for.

When one of them tosses her umbrella to the ground, Ashton springs from his car, running over. He pulls on the arm of the man closest to him before turning him around connecting his fist with his jaw. The other two spring into action, but Ashton is quick with his punches and elbow thrusts. In minutes all three men are down in the rain-filled alley, the woman breathing heavily against the brick building.

Ashton crouches to one of the men who’s grunting in pain and staring at Ashton through a swelling eye. “You tell Aleks, Ashton Irwin doesn’t appreciate him doing his dirty work in my city,” his voice is calm, but the warning tone is loud, “and that cornering a woman is warranted in death. Got that?”

The man groans nodding his head. Ashton stands, his eyes softening as he stares at the woman before him. He can barely see her through the falling rain and the dimmed streetlight, but he can tell she’s frightened, as if he can sense it.

“Are you all right? Did they hurt you?” he asks gently, stepping closer to her. She shakes her head in response. A car backfires and she lets out a scream. Ashton responds by grabbing her hand, “I have somewhere safe I can take you,” pulling her to his car and helping her inside. He cranks the heat as the engine purrs quietly to life, zooming to the main road and to La Belle Vie.

She’s visibly shaking while he drives to his club. He wants to comfort her in some way but is unsure how to. He’s pleasantly surprised she got into his car so willingly, but maybe his coming to her rescue appeased her.

He parks smoothly in his spot outside of La Belle Vie, he can hear her teeth chattering.

“Come inside, it’s warm and I can get you a drink,” he tells her before getting out.

He keeps a safe distance behind her, nodding to one of the guards at the entrance. They open the door just as thunder rumbles in the distance. Ashton and the woman are met with more dimmed lighting, and soulful, tantalizing music dances in their ears while the dancers on stage move hypnotically.

The woman halts as she takes in her surroundings and Ashton bumps into her back.

“Keep moving to the end of the bar, my office is in the back,” he murmurs pushing her forward gently. Ashton eyes their surroundings, the only people taking notice of him are Paco and Luke sitting at the bar. He shakes his head as if to say, ‘don’t ask, don’t stop me,’ and continues his way to the secret door.

He pushes on the wall; the door opens to reveal a dimly lit hallway with cement floors and dark walls. He feels her cower against him once more.

“You need to get brighter lightbulbs,” she mutters, shoulders rattling as she shivers again.

Ashton smiles at her comment but wants to get her warmed up as fast as he can. He leads her to the elevator, pushes the button and the doors open quickly. The elevator ride is short as it ascends to his office, he ushers her inside where he makes sure to turn all the lights on.

“Please, have a seat,” he motions to the plush black couch in front of the fireplace.

He turns it on with the switch beside the mantle, discarding his leather jacket placing it on the back of an armchair. He moves across the room to a closet that has blankets for when he sometimes spends the night here, and there’s a bedroom next to the fireplace. You can see a part of it through the flames if you look close enough. He doesn’t dare let his mind drift to the countless women he’s brought back to that room, suddenly he feels ashamed about those encounters.

He drapes the thick, soft blanket over her shoulders, she jumps from the contact, murmuring a quiet ‘thank you.’ Ashton moves to his desk picking up his phone that immediately rings the bar.

“Sir?” Paco answers.

“Send up some towels, dry clothes and two hot chocolates, please,” Ashton requests then clicks the phone back in its cradle. He sits across from her in the armchair that doesn’t have his coat on it, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” he asks again. Now that they’re in brighter light, he sees how beautiful she is. Her dark hair hangs in wet strands framing her perfectly round face, her eyes are large and round and the prettiest brown he’s ever seen. Although she’s shivering, everything about her, from her tanned skin to those eyes screams warmth. A warmth Ashton hasn’t felt in a long time.

“Fine,” she responds quietly, wrapping the blanket tighter around her body. She sniffs.

“I’m having towels and clean clothes brought up, along with some hot chocolate,” he offers, his fingers twisting one of his rings. “Can you tell me your name?”

“Why did you hurt those men?” she asks the same time he does.

“They were going to hurt you,” he says simply. He notices her eyes are watching the movement of his ring, he glances down noticing the dried blood on his knuckles that clearly has her attention. He frowns slightly. Under normal circumstances he wouldn’t think twice about the blood, but he doesn’t want this woman to fear him due to this act. 

“Why were you there? Who’s Aleks Rosco—”

“Rozhkov,” Ashton corrects. He inhales deeply then leans back into the chair making sure to skirt around the truth. “He’s…a businessman that I’ve been wanting to meet with. We have things to discuss.”

“You—”

Three sharp raps to the door cause Ashton to stand and open the door. Luke’s there with the essentials Ashton requested, the towels and clothes in a bag, two hot chocolates in a carrying tray and a question in his baby blue eyes.

“Is she one of Rozhkov’s—”

“Thanks Luke,” Ashton replies shortly, taking the bag and carrying tray.  He shuts the door in the younger man’s face then brings the goods to the beautiful mystery woman on his couch. He places the bag in front of her legs which he’s just noticed are bare beneath her coat. He swallows harshly. “Towels and dry clothes are in here, there’s a shower just through that door you can use to warm up.”

Hesitantly, she lifts the bag, crooking it between her elbow and stands. Ashton moves to the door opening it, smacking the light switch on the wall. It illuminates the room showcasing the large California king bed with high posts and a thick black comforter. Again, he pushes memories of the numerous sexual partners he’s pleasured here, as if his dirty thoughts would offend this beautiful woman. He doesn’t want to offend her in any way, though he fears he already has.

She’s been visibly shaken since the alleyway and won’t look him in the eye choosing instead to keep focus of the blood on his hands. Is she fearful of what she’ll see in his eyes? Madness? A monster? 

Her small sniffle pulls him from his thoughts.

“Use anything you’d like in the bathroom. I’ll be out here if you need me,” he offers a half a smile then turns to give her some privacy. Then he hears her mumble something and quickly turns around. “What?”

“Nadia,” she says again, her brown eyes finally meeting his, “My name’s Nadia.”

***

She walks around his large desk, twisting her arm so she can push him gently into his specially made chair. It’s a black, wing back chair with gold accented buttons and the letters ‘A’ and ‘I’ stitched in gold on the front of the arms.

“What wrong idea?” he asks again, placing his drink on the coaster on his desk. It also has his initials on it.

Nadia shakes her head hopping onto the surface of the desk, her dress slides up her thighs. She takes a long sip of her drink as Ashton rests his palms on her knees, his thumbs rub onto her skin.

“Nadia,” he says her name sternly. He knows she knows that tone of voice, and she looks at him expectantly. “What will people think?” he softens his tone.

“That I’m nothing but a ‘sugar baby,’” she pouts, her fingers create the imaginary quotations.

Ashton sighs. Being in his line of business, doing what he does, he knows that’s what he’s perceived as, but he always waved it off without a care. He didn’t like, however, that Nadia has been labeled as a sugar baby.

“You know that’s not true,” he stands from his chair, towering over her. He removes her drink from her hand, placing it on another coaster then rests his hands on the wood. He stares at her until she meets his gaze. “You know how much I love and care about you.”

“I do,” she nods earnestly. “But I still hear the whispers.”

“Is it from people within my circle? Tell me their names and I’ll deal with them—”

“No, no, it’s no one associated with you. It’s…others. In the streets, in the shops we go to.”

“Don’t listen to them, and if I hear it—” he leans forward pressing his lips to her cheek “—they’ll have me to answer to.” His voice tickles her ear and she giggles from the vibrations.

“Why did Cal say you need rest?” she asks.

“Long day,” he shrugs. He relaxes when Nadia places her thumbs under his eyes, he can only imagine the dark circles beneath them.

“What did you do?” she moves her fingers to his hair, massaging through the dark locks onto his scalp.

“Angel,” he says in a warning tone, “what’s my number one rule?”

“Don’t ask specifics about your job,” she sighs, fingers still massaging.

“And why is that?” he sighs. His hand pushes her legs apart, his fingers run up the smooth skin of her thigh. She spreads her legs wider, welcoming his hand higher.

“To protect me,” she whispers and moans slightly when his fingers skim over her bare, wet folds. He tuts his tongue.

“No panties, hm? Why’s that?” he asks, teasing her slit. “You want to stain my desk?”

“N-no! Just didn’t feel like it…I thought you’d like it,” she sighs against his neck, her breath hot, and fingers still locked in his hair.

“You know I love it, angel.” He teases her hole with his middle finger causing her to squeak in response. He smiles, kissing her shoulder then inserts his finger slowly. Her own fingers tighten in his hair, her breathing becomes ragged. “Should I make you come right here for me? Right on my desk where I do my work?”

Nadia rolls her hips with the motion of his finger inside her, spreading her open and rubbing against her walls.

“Please,” she begs breathlessly.

He inserts another finger and Nadia whines in his ear, his thumb rubbing harshly against her clit. He loves hearing her moan for him. He works his fingers faster until her body clenches and she’s left gasping loudly in his ear.

“That’s my girl,” he praises twiddling his fingers inside her as her orgasm subsides. He removes his fingers gently pulling back to give her a smile while he sucks her off his fingers. Her eyes are glazed, her cheeks a bit rosy. “What do you say?”

“Thank you,” she sighs. She drags her fingers back to his cheeks and pulls his mouth to hers, moaning into his mouth. Her fingers are quick to undo his shit buttons, palms pressing to his torso, nails dragging along his skin.

“You want another one?” he smirks against her mouth, her hands tugging his silk shirt from his trousers.

“Like you said,” her voice is sultry in his ear as she unbuttons his pants, “I’ve had a rough week.”

When Nadia’s fingers pinch the zipper, there’s a very loud urgent knock on the door. She lets out a sigh, visibly upset as Ashton snaps his pants back into place and rebuttons his shirt. He grins at her petulance, taking her chin in his fingers to give her a delicate kiss.

“I’ll be right back, angel.”

He checks his shirt as he struts across his office, hoping that whoever is behind that door is in a life or death situation. Everyone at La Belle Vie knows that if he has Nadia in his office, he is not to be disturbed. A rule that’s been established since that first night he brought her here. They’re being interrupted now just as much as they were then.

***

Ashton made sure to remove his rings from his fingers, placing them in a black porcelain bowl in the other bathroom used for guests; he’ll have them professionally cleaned in the morning. He feels empty without them. The added weight always made him feel secure somehow. One ring, a gaudy one with an onyx stone was always perched on his left pinky finger. Another one, specially made, sat on his right middle finger that always left his initials on the perpetrator’s skin, a flameless branding.

He sighs, turning on the tap and scrubbing extra hard, so the blood is completely gone. He’s never been this meticulous after a fight, or a kill for that matter. He’s become immune to the cold killings he does, usually saving the clean up when he’s back at his house in his large waterfall-style shower. He turns the water to the hottest temperature and yet, he still feels numb.

When the blood is gone, he watches his reflection as he dries his hands. Dark circles are under his eyes while the whites of his eyes are bloodshot. No wonder Nadia wouldn’t look at him, he looks every bit the monster behind such monstrous acts.

The door to the bedroom swings open, Ashton quickly tossing the towel into the sink and approaching Nadia as she exits the doorway. The t-shirt and sweatpants she’s changed into hang off her small frame, but she looks warmer. Her cheeks are rosy from the heat of the shower, she’s still hesitant as she glances at him.

“Find everything okay?” he asks politely.

“Yes, thank you,” she’s even more polite in her response.

To his surprise, Nadia moves to sit back on the couch and picks up one of the hot chocolates, bringing it to her lips. Ashton moves carefully around the couch and takes his spot from before in the armchair. She hums appreciatively at the warm drink, brown eyes flickering to his.

They stare at each other for a moment. Ashton is trying to decipher what she could possibly be thinking. He usually had a knack for that in women, but all he’s getting from her are unasked questions. Ashton has never been vulnerable with any of the women he’s had relations with, making sure his hard exterior remains impenetrable.

“You shouldn’t walk near that building that late at night. It’s dangerous,” he tells her, fixing his slight moment in weakness.

“I live a block away from there, and I haven’t had trouble until tonight,” her voice is stronger now. Ashton wonders if she’s got more courage from her warm shower or if there’s alcohol in her hot chocolate.

Testing his theory, Ashton picks up the other cup and takes a drink. All he tastes is milk chocolate with a hint of cinnamon, no alcohol detected. What changed?

“Why were you walking alone so late?” he asks. His interrogation voice rises to the surface, and he sees her fingers tighten on the cup.

“I teach ballet on Fifth and I stayed later,” she sniffs, her long nail traces the rim of the cover. “It started raining so I continued dancing hoping it would end, but it didn’t, and I had to get home.” Her eyes raise to his. “Why were you parked in that alley?”

“What age range do you teach?” he dodges her question. Luke’s unfinished question if she’s one of Rozhkov’s associates hangs in the back of his head. Nadia is a Russian name, after all, so she very well could be. “What’s your last name?”

“Why aren’t you answering my questions?” she deflects, eyes narrowing.

“Why aren’t you answering mine?” Ashton leans forward, eyebrows raised.

Nadia sighs, keeping her gaze steady on his. “I teach from the ages of four to ten, and my last name is Sharapova.”

Ashton’s jaw clenches, he needs to be on high alert because she could very well be working with Aleks Rozhkov. But his instinct is telling him she’s not associated at all, that she was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Her newfound confidence is questionable though. Ashton needs to do some more probing.

“Can you answer my questions now?” she asks, her tone is a bit softer, and it throws Ashton for a loop again.

“You only asked me one,” he points out, forcing himself not to smirk. “And I already answered it, I had to speak with them about business.”

“What kind of business? Are you a club owner? Is this Aleks guy a competitor of yours?” she’s rapid fire now, and Ashton thinks the hot shower and dry clothes has brought this out of her.

The innocence is still shining in her eyes, but Ashton is smart enough to not share his true business with someone. No matter how beautiful they are.

“I do own the club downstairs, and Aleks Rozhkov is…a competitor of some sorts, yes,” he nods.

“You only answered two of my questions,” she murmurs behind her cup before taking another drink.

“I can’t answer the first one. It’s better you don’t know what I do. Do you only teach ballet or dance in a troupe?” he asks. The surprised flick of her eyebrows tells him she’s impressed by his terminology, he hides his smirk behind his cup.

“I’m in a troupe,” she nods, “um, I dance with the Chamber City Company.”

“How long have you been with them?”

“Four years. Why can’t I know what you do?”

Ashton lets out air from his nose, she’s not letting this go.

“It’s dangerous for you and I don’t want to put you in any more danger like you were in earlier.”

Nadia sinks a little further into the couch, her hands clutching her hot chocolate tighter to her chest. “Are we safe here?”

Ashton mentally reprimands himself; he doesn’t want her to fear him, yet here he is treating her like the common offender that he deals with daily. Firing questions at her and questioning her motives when really, she’s an innocent woman.

“I’m sorry Nadia, I don’t mean to scare you,” he sets his hot chocolate on the coffee table rubbing his face with his hand. He’s reminded that his rings are gone, he feels exposed then removes his hand to look at her. “And I don’t mean to offend you with my questions, I’m only trying to figure you out. I promise you that you are completely safe here. I can—”

There’s another knock at his door, and Ashton becomes a little irritated. When he’s in his office, unless they’re called, no one is to disrupt him.

“Excuse me,” he tells her then moves to the door. He opens it to see Michael standing there, his cross earrings dangling. “What?”

“There’s been a raid by the abandoned building you were at earlier,” Michael says in a rush.

“Michael, you only come to my office if it’s vital, how is this important?”

“Because it was her apartment that was raided,” Michael glances behind Ashton at Nadia.

Ashton looks behind him, Nadia’s back is to them, and he pushes Michael back into the hallway so he can close the door.

“How do you know that? You don’t even know her name—”

“Nadia Sharapova? Yeah, I do. I was given a list of names and photos of the residents and when Luke saw her photo, he told me you brought her here. Does she have any connection with Aleks?” Michael asks.

“No, she doesn’t,” Ashton shakes his head.

“Are you sure? I know she’s pretty, Ashton but—”

“She’s not, all right?” Ashton snaps. “Why was it raided?”

“The three men you fought told Aleks you defended her and now he thinks she’s close to you. She’s a target now,” Michael responds quietly.

“Shit,” Ashton hisses, his hands curling into tight fists and he begins to pace. When he comes in front of Michael he stops, “what’s it look like outside?”

“Nothing in sight. We think he might’ve set the raid as a warning, to let you know he’s watching. I can send everyone downstairs home and bring in our best—”

“No, no, keep everyone here. I don’t want to raise alarm,” Ashton is rubbing his chin now in thought. “Make sure the right people know what’s going on, and check on Meyers that his cover is still hidden. Have Asana assemble our needed artillery. I need to tell Nadia—”

“You’re really going to tell her you’re in the mafia?” Michael’s dark eyebrows disappear under his dirty blond hair.

“No, I need to tell her she doesn’t have a home to go to. Only come to my office if you have other news.”

“Yes sir,” Michael nods.

Ashton sighs pinching the bridge of his nose. His good deed of helping Nadia has now put her between a rock and a hard place. He’s not quite sure which one he is in the metaphor or which is worse. He opens the door to see she’s standing in front of the bookcase next to the fireplace. She jumps at his entrance.

“I’m sorry, I was—”

“Don’t worry about it,” he waves his hand, “I have quite a lot of books in here. Um, there’s something I need to tell you, and it’s going to be difficult to hear.”

Nadia crosses her arms over her chest, not in defiance, but in more of a comforting way. Ashton almost wishes he could be the one comforting her. She nods at him to go on.

“Aleks Rozhkov is a…dangerous man and one of my…colleagues just informed me that your apartment was raided by his men,” Ashton explains carefully. He wishes he could tell her everything, it pains him to skirt around the truth like this with her.

“How do you know it was my apartment? I only told you—”

“We were sent names and photos of the residents and yours is on that list. I’m so sorry. You’re more than—”

“Names and photos? What are you, the CIA or something?” her voice rises in hysterics. She begins to knot her fingers together then grabs a lock of her hair and twists it between her fingers. Her eyes are moving frantically about the room, “This isn’t—what is happening? Why would he send men to raid my apartment?”

“Nadia, listen to me,” Ashton speaks slowly, moving his head in her line of vision. His hazel meets her brown and her breathing becomes more even. “I promise to keep you safe, but you have to trust me.”

“How can I trust you when I just met you?”

***

Ashton opens the door to see Michael standing there, his green eyes frantic as he meets the gaze with his boss.

“Mike, you know the rules—”

“I know, I know but this is urgent. There’s a woman downstairs who says she works with Liam and he wants to speak with you.”

Silent alarms go off in Ashton’s head. Liam Payne. He hasn’t heard that name in five years. They used to be a team, Ashton and Liam. They owned the town and partied with the most beautiful women. Others feared them because together, they rose to the top at an exponential rate.

Both took over the family business after their father’s ran off and hid because they were caught with extortion of money from the police. At the ripe age of eighteen, they became head bosses and had to learn the ropes from the associates their father’s left behind. Bonding over that life-altering event, they shared ideas and became as close as brothers.

It didn’t take long for them to excel their fathers’ legacies, both Liam and Ashton were easily the most respected and valued amongst their associates. Liam was the one who thought of the idea of La Belle Vie since they were living the good life. Two young men in their early twenties partying, meeting beautiful women and getting rich? What more could you want?

Another life-altering moment happened with Liam when one of the women he was seeing became pregnant. He stepped down from his duties which meant stepping down from Ashton. Ashton could only understand to a degree of why Liam stepped away, but his father leaving him left a deeper wound than he thought.

His father was all he had, but even when he was around, Ashton never felt love from him. He was always gone on “business trips” and would only say a few words to Ashton when he was home. He grew up void of love. When his father ran, Ashton swore to himself he wouldn’t have a family so he wouldn’t treat his children the same way.

Liam came around and soon after so did Michael, Luke, and Calum. The four of them became his brothers, his true family. He vowed to protect them with his life. So, when Liam left, too, he felt abandoned all over again. But he’s proud that he left to be what their fathers couldn’t be, present.

There was a raid that was happening, and Ashton called Liam for backup. He could fight like no other and drives better than any professional racecar driver he’s ever met. Liam was quick to say yes and once he arrived it was just like old times. Liam filled Ashton in on the new house he and Tanya bought, how the nursery was going to be set up with dinosaurs because they were having a boy.

Ashton could see the change in Liam, he had a new light of happiness and even showed him a picture of a large diamond ring he bought to give Tanya. Ashton was happy for him, he truly was, but to have one of his best friends—his brother—back by his side made him happier.

The raid went awry as soon as Ashton and Liam crossed the threshold of the warehouse. There were explosions and Liam was quick to pull Ashton into cover. One of the Snatchers—the Rozhkov’s errand boys—ran by and Liam took care of him quickly with a flick of his wrist and pull of his trigger. Just as Ashton was about to ask what their new plan was, Liam’s phone rang.

He picked it up because it was Tanya. Ashton remembers hearing her crying through the phone, Liam asking her what was wrong, where she was and then a scream followed by the loudest dial tone Ashton ever heard, was left in her wake. One of the Snatchers cackled behind them, gloating to another that their plan worked.

Angry and confused, Liam sprung from his place with Ashton reaching for the coattails of his suit, his gun pointed directly at the two Snatchers. They cackled again as they informed Liam that his new cookie-cut-life is no more.

Tanya and his unborn baby were in the house as a bomb went off and Liam lost control.

“Ashton…Ashton!” Michael snaps his fingers in front of Ashton’s face, snapping him back to reality.

Ashton composed himself quickly, “Did he say what he wants?”

“No. Should I have him come upstairs?”

“No, no, I’ll…I’ll be right down. Seat him in the Brandy Room, have Paco make him whatever he wants.”

“You got it,” Michael responds quietly. He looks like he wants to say something else but nods instead and moves back to the elevator.

As soon as he’s gone, Ashton backs into his office. He hears his name but it’s as if his head is underwater, his ears are ringing, and the numb feeling is back. He walks robotically to his desk, eyes on his glass as he lifts it in his fingers then flings it across the room. The glass shatters loudly on the door, the wood glistens from the liquid and ice as it runs through the panes.

The resemblance of names makes his head pound. Then his ears stop ringing and he’s shifted back into focus, Nadia’s hands are clutching at his arms spinning him around to face her. When his hazel eyes meet her warm brown ones, he locks into her gaze and holds on. When she touches his cheek, his hand is quick to cover it, feeling her warmth on his skin.

“What is it? Talk to me,” she asks him softly.

“An old…” Ashton swallows harshly and licks his lips, “a family member is here that I haven’t seen in a very long time.”

Nadia’s eyes soften, she rubs his cheek with her thumb. “Okay. What for?”

“I don’t know,” he shakes his head then knocks his forehead to hers. He breathes in her coconut and white gardenia perfume. All he wants is to stay here with her, but his past is flowing like a river into her life. He doesn’t want her to drown like him. “We didn’t leave on good terms.”

Nadia lifts her other hand to his cheek and stretches her lips forward to give him a soothing kiss. Ashton wraps his arms around her back, holding her close. She continues to stroke his cheeks lovingly. “You don’t have to tell me now,” she begins, “but if you’d like to talk about it, you know I’ll listen. Do you want me to stay up here and wait until you come back?”

“I’d like you with me,” he sighs giving in to his own selfish desires. Nadia helps keep him grounded, keeps his head level and his anger at bay.

“Okay,” she nods shifting her fingers to link together at the base of his neck.

Ashton pulls her into a tight embrace, he kisses her shoulder and exhales deeply as she kisses his ear. He gives her one more kiss before pulling back.

“How do I look?” he asks.

He watches Nadia fondly as she fixes his hair, adjusts his buttons and smooths down his shirt. Her eyes flick to his and she smiles.

“Handsome as ever.”

“Thank you, angel,” he forces half a smile. His mind is already downstairs on Liam waiting for him. Ashton grabs her hand, making sure she’s careful as they walk over the broken glass; he’ll ask Peter, one of his best waitstaff, to clean it up.

Their footsteps echo against the walls to the elevator. He leans against the parallel mirrored wall, the doors still open as Nadia settles next to him. She pushes the correct button and the doors close, showing their reflections.

***

Ashton and Nadia’s reflections stare back at them. They’re a good half a foot apart in the elevator as it starts to descend. He’s offered one of his guest rooms for her usage and for her safety. It took some convincing but after she finally agreed, he decided to take her to his place, it’s getting late.

He tries not to stare at her in the reflected elevator door but something about her captivates him. He wants to know more about her, and the thought terrifies him. the doors open once more and Ashton leads her down the hallway, he notices the way she inches closer to him, then pushes open the secret door.

There are only a few patrons left in the club, two of them being Luke and Michael sitting close together. Their heads snap in Ashton and Nadia’s direction as Ashton leads her by.

“See you tomorrow, boys,” Ashton tells them. They nod, eyes flickering to Nadia.

Once outside, Ashton opens the passenger door of his car for Nadia as she slides in. He makes sure to turn her seat warmer on which she thanks him for quietly. The ride is silent as he takes side streets and back roads, always taking the long way home in case he’s followed.

In another life, maybe he would be driving Nadia back to her place after a nice dinner, not back to his place because her home was raided. His fingers tap on the wheel reminding him how exposed they are without his rings. He’s being his most vulnerable with Nadia and they just met.

After twenty minutes, he’s pulled into his garage and shuts off his car.

“We—” when he looks at Nadia, her head is against the seat, eyes closed. He admires her for a moment, trying to decode what it is about her that has him going against his norm. Shadows from her long lashes kiss her cheeks and her cupid’s bow sticks out a little as she breathes evenly.

He doesn’t want to wake her. She looks so peaceful after a night of crazy circumstances that is ending even crazier by spending the night at a stranger’s house. Ashton sighs then exits the car moving to her side quickly. He opens the door and unbuckles her belt with care then places his hand on her shoulder.

“Nadia,” he calls her name softly. She sighs deeply, eyes fluttering open and she jumps in her seat taking in her new surroundings until her gaze lands on Ashton. “You’re all right. You fell asleep.”

He holds out his hand helping her get out, he can feel how heavy with sleep she is as they walk into the house. When they’re in the guest room, across the short skyway where Ashton’s room is, she’s practically hanging off his arms but he’s supporting her.

“There’s a bathroom just next door and remotes are in the nightstand if you’d like to watch TV,” he explains sitting her gingerly on the bed. “My room is right through the other end of the skyway, come get me if you need anything.”

Nadia nods heavily, her eyes drooping from exhaustion. Her adrenaline has finally started to subside, and she feels so drained.

“Thank you, Ashton,” she begins to crawl under the covers.

Ashton is frozen in place at the sound of his name leaving her lips. He watches her slip into the bed and curl up to one of the pillows. Her long brown hair fans behind her then he remembers it’s time to leave her be and rest. Even though everything in him wants to sit in the corner and make sure she does sleep soundly.

“Right,” he clears his throat, “Goodnight, Nadia.”

He closes the door as quietly as he can then walks through his skyway, his pathway illuminated by the moon. He hangs his suit jacket on the back of his chair, removing the rest of his clothes. Usually a man to sleep in his boxers, or naked, he pulls on some shorts and a tank top just in case. In case Nadia needs him and he doesn’t want to burst into her room completely naked.

As Ashton settles into his own California King bed, he stares up at his ceiling mulling over the events that happened tonight. Sitting outside the abandoned warehouse felt like days rather than mere hours ago. He didn’t even get a chance to investigate what exactly Rozhkov’s men were doing there. Nadia’s presence had completely shifted his focus and now all his attention is on her and keeping her safe.

He’s never truly felt alone until now, sure, he has his brothers, but this is a different kind of loneliness. It’s a loneliness of companionship while there’s a beautiful woman who crossed his path sleeping alone as well. What a twisted piece of fate.

The next morning, Ashton is on a phone call with Calum going over logistics of the raid in the kitchen when Nadia makes her way downstairs. Her arms are wrapped around herself as she takes in the whites and blacks of the appliances and surfaces, Calum’s voice drones on.

“I’ll call you back,” Ashton interrupts Calum then hangs up without a goodbye. “Good morning,” he greets Nadia.

“Morning,” she responds with a wan smile, eyes still taking in the room. Then she zeroes in on a coffee pot.

“Would you like a cup?” Ashton springs into action quickly by opening a cupboard and grabbing a mug. He pours her a decent amount then shifts to the fridge opening it up. “I have quite a selection of creamer, what would you like?”

“Um, do you have French vanilla?” she steps towards him peering into the fridge doors.

He pulls the requested creamer from the door then moves to her cup he’s started; she follows like a shadow. Ashton swirls the contents then pops the top and begins to pour.

“That’s good,” she stops him when the cream blooms in the dark coffee.

“Sugar?” he asks opening another cabinet. He realizes the double meaning of the sweet product and the pet name, for some reason he wishes he were calling her that.

“Two spoons.”

He stirs the concoction together with a spoon, tapping it on the lip before turning around to hand it to her. Nadia takes it graciously, blowing gently over the hot liquid before taking a tentative sip. She hums in approval then gives Ashton a smile.

“Thank you, it’s perfect.”

He’s hypnotized by her eyes, being this close and in the natural light he can see tiny flecks of green and gold around her pupils. He blinks then lifts his own mug back into his hand.

“How did you sleep?”

“All right. I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened last night…”

Ashton notices her shy demeanor is back.

“I know, it is a lot. I was speaking with a colleague of mine before you came in and he’s going to check it out, make sure there isn’t anything dangerous left behind. I was thinking I could take you there so you can gather some of your things and bring here,” Ashton suggests.

The notion didn’t sound so odd in his head but now that he said it aloud, he’s realized how peculiar it is to have a woman he saved from the street move in with him in less than twenty-four hours. Even if it is temporary. He hopes she doesn’t question his motives, that she can see he only wants to protect her.

Nadia takes another drink of her coffee. “That sounds like a good idea, thank you,” her voice wavers slightly.

She leans against the counter, staring outside as two little birds dance around each other on the birdbath. She tilts her head as one of the birds do, wings flittering before it hops into the water near to the other bird.

“I’m assuming you want me to stay here because it would be safer than a hotel?” Nadia asks thoughtfully.

“Your assumption would be correct,” Ashton moves from her side to stand in front of her, he cocks his head so he can capture her attention. “I want you to feel safe, Nadia. I’m so sorry that you’ve been brought into this and I hope you trust me.”

“Can’t the police do anything?” she asks, and he smiles smugly.

“I’m better than the police, trust me.”

“I do trust you,” she downs the rest of her coffee, eyes flickering to the two birds who are now gone then back to Ashton. “That’s what scares me.”

Nadia then retired to her room while Ashton waited to hear from Calum about her apartment building. When he received an all clear, he ascends the stairs walking across the skyway then pauses before he knocks gently on her door. She responds with a quiet ‘come in’ and when he opens the door he finds her sitting on the window seat with her legs curled up underneath her gazing out the window.

How can she be so effortlessly beautiful?

“Um, if you’d like to get changed we can head on over to your place,” he says from the doorway.

She turns her head then slips off the seat, her bare feet sinking in the plush carpet with every step. “I have nothing to change into,” she shrugs, “this is all I have right now.”

Ashton curses himself.

“Right. Um, then let me get dressed and we’ll make our way there. I won’t be long; you can meet me in the kitchen.”

Ashton changed into one of his more casual suits, making sure he had his gun holstered inside the jacket, before meeting Nadia in the kitchen. Their drive is silent, Ashton doesn’t really know what to expect when they arrive at her building. He made sure Calum would be there and stand guard outside while Ashton and Nadia were upstairs.

He parks smoothly along the curb, rushing to her side of the car so he can open the door for her. Calum meets them halfway on the sidewalk, he grins at Nadia kindly.

“Calum, this is Nadia. Nadia, this is Calum, he’s a colleague of mine and a brother,” Ashton introduces them.

“It’s nice to meet you, Nadia,” Calum grins again holding out his hand which Nadia takes. “I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances.”

“Nice to meet you,” Nadia smiles weakly. When their hands release, she crosses her arms over her chest, an action Ashton notices she does a lot.

“We all right to go in?” Ashton asks nodding to the building.

“Yeah, everyone else is out. I spoke with the landlord and he said he’s going to have authorities take over to try and catch the—whoever did this.” Calum glances at Nadia then Ashton, he heard from Michael that Ashton doesn’t want her to know what his line of work is.

“I know who did this,” Nadia offers throwing a quick glimpse to Ashton, “he just won’t tell me why.”

Calum’s eyebrows raise in amusement, eyes darting between his boss and this woman he rescued the night prior.

“He’s a smart man. I’ll be out here if you need me.”

“Thanks Calum,” Ashton claps him on the shoulder as Nadia skirts around him. She pulls on the door; Ashton follows her down the hall to the elevator. “Which one are you in?”

“4C,” she says pushing the number four.

He follows her again as she walks down the hallway to the fourth door on the right, he knows Calum cleared the building but he’s keeping his wits about him. Nadia pulls her key from the pocket of her borrowed sweatpants, slotting it in the lock and turning. He notices her shoulders rise, then fall before she pushes the door open.

Peering over her head he can see the destruction her apartment is in. Plates and mugs are broken on the kitchen floor, chairs and tables are overturned. Her couch is even ripped open on the seats and she takes tentative steps inside, Ashton close behind. Picture frames are askew on the wall or tossed on the floor along with magazines, books, and dirt from upturned plants.

After taking in his surroundings, he shifts his focus to Nadia who has her hand over her mouth, eyes wide as she takes in her home. Nadia walks slowly to certain areas; her couch and her bookshelf in the corner, a spot on the wall that has impressions of picture frames left on the paint. When she pushes open her bedroom door, that’s when she gasps.

Not wanting her to be here longer than necessary, he moves behind her with his hand out as if to hold onto her elbow or cup her shoulder in comfort. He drops his hand in silent defeat, shoving it in his pocket instead.

“I can help you pack some clothes or pillows or whatever you need—”

“Can I have a few minutes, please?” she asks quietly, her voice cracking.

“I can—”

“Please, just…five minutes, Ashton.”

Ashton backs out of her room silently. Before he can make it to her main door, he hears her choked sobs as she cries. He swears in that moment he will protect her with his life.

***

The two men standing guard in front of the Brandy Room door, Charlie and Emil, step aside as soon as Ashton and Nadia approach. They nod solemnly to Ashton then smile in unison to Nadia as they open the doors. Nadia notices the usual men and women standing along the border of the room, Ashton always had his best security in La Belle Vie but she pauses on the woman with sleek black hair sitting at the table and a man in an Armani suit standing with his back to them. She assumes this is the family member Ashton is nervous about.

“Liam,” Ashton calls his name and Liam turns.

Nadia’s taken aback at how handsome he is, sharp jaw, chiseled beard with an odd, hard glint in his eyes but when he smiled it disappeared. When he smiled Nadia was reminded of a puppy that she wanted to get to know.

“Ashton! How’s it going, mate?” Liam sets his short glass of brandy on the circular table in front of him. He walks around the table, his arms opening wide for a hug but Ashton steps back. Liam chuckles shaking his head, resting his hand on the back of one of the chairs. “I deserve that,” he indicates the woman, “this is Veronica.”

Veronica has almond shaped eyes that are a piercing green in color. A beauty mark lies above her perfectly full lips. She stares at them as if bored and Nadia feels very intimidated

“We’ve met briefly,” Ashton’s voice is clipped as he keeps his gaze on Liam. “What are you doing here, Liam?”

“We’re not done with introductions yet! Who may you be, love?” Liam peers behind Ashton at Nadia.

Ashton turns to her; his face softens as he stares at her. He wants to hold her hand, but he knows if he does in this moment, he’ll be weak at her touch which is the opposite of what he wants to be right now.

“This is Nadia.”

Liam brushes past Ashton to take Nadia’s hand in his, bringing it to his lips, smiling on her knuckles.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Nadia. I’ve heard whispers about you and they’re true, you are an exceptionally beautiful woman,” he murmurs then kisses her knuckles before releasing her hand.

Nadia’s cheeks flush at the compliment, she’s quick to peek at Ashton whose jaw is clenched at the interaction. She knows how protective he is of her and although Liam looks like a puppy when he smiles, he could have a mean bite for all she knows.

“Thank you,” she replies politely, nonetheless.

“What are you doing here, Liam?” Ashton asks again forcing his voice to remain even and controlled.

“I hear Aleks is still at large and I want to help end him,” Liam shoves his hand in his pocket walking back around the table. He struts confidently as if he owns the place and Nadia is confused at how comfortable he seems as he picks up his glass and takes a smooth swallow. “Veronica has been my little fly on the wall relaying what’s been going on to me.”

“You’ve been spying on me?”

“Spying, getting intel…it’s all relative,” Liam shrugs finishing off his drink. He places his empty glass on the table then leans on it with his palms. “I’m sick of him getting away with shit. I know you’ve got a plan and I want in.”

Ashton is reverted to that horrible day, where he lost his brother forever. Liam went ballistic and charged for the Snatchers who were boasting about the death of his girlfriend and unborn son. It was a distraction that took Ashton and Liam from the main quandary of reaching Aleks.

Ashton hurled himself into the throes of Liam’s rage and broken heartedness until the Snatchers were unconscious. Then Liam fired two kill shots into their foreheads. Aleks got away. Liam and Ashton had a fallout with harsh words then Ashton was abandoned again.

“What do you say?” Liam’s voice pulls Ashton back to the present.

“Why do you want to help now? I haven’t seen nor heard from you in five years, Liam. You don’t want this li—you don’t want a part of this…business… anymore,” Ashton catches himself because of Nadia’s presence.

Liam’s eyes flicker between Ashton and Nadia, the corner of his mouth twitches as he makes the connection that Nadia is completely in the dark of Ashton’s true business. He lets it slide this time.

“You’re right, I don’t. But I want to get rid of Rozhkov more. Veronica is my eyes and ears and when she heard Rozhkov is selling or buying or whatever the hell he does, I had to see you. Just think about it, yeah?” Liam reaches into his suit jacket and pulls out a card. He holds it out to Nadia between his two fingers, she plucks it delicately from him. “I know he won’t take it from me, but I can tell he trusts you, beautiful. Make sure he calls me.”

He winks at her quickly, gives Ashton one final look then snaps his fingers. Veronica springs from her seat gliding to the door as they both make their exit. Nadia reads the card in her hand, it’s slate gray with silver writing that reads his name and below that it says ‘Efficient in getting the job done’ followed by a phone number.

Ashton exhales loudly, leaning on the tabletop and Nadia shifts her attention to him. She moves forward, stroking her hand over his back while the other grips his bicep giving him a comforting squeeze. She waits patiently for him to say something, analyzing how heavy his body seems. Not entirely sure on what he did today, she can tell that whatever it was has left him drained then Calum’s advice pops in her head.

“Let’s go home, get you in a nice hot shower and into to bed,” she offers.

He stands to his full height, sighing with a smirk as he strokes her cheek with his fingers.

“I’ll never deny a shower with you, angel. Come on.”

The couple say their quick goodbyes to everyone in the main room of the club, Calum and Asana now seated at the bar. Asana’s long legs are crossed as she sits atop the bar, Calum’s hand resting on her knee as he eyes Ashton after watching Liam exit the Brandy Room. Ashton shakes his head, Calum nods in understanding then turns his attention back to Asana who pokes his nose with her gold painted fingernail.

Ashton keeps a firm hand on Nadia’s thigh as he races home. The events of the day and seeing Liam are trying to catch up with him but he doesn’t want to face them quite yet. He’ll face them after spending time with Nadia in the shower and in their bed until she inevitably falls asleep from the activities they’ll be participating in.

Nadia takes the lead by grabbing his hand and pulls him upstairs to their shared bedroom. While she gathers their towels, Ashton discards his gun from his holster. He unloads it, double checks the safety is on and places it in the perfect outline of the case next to his side of the bed. Before Nadia, he’d always kept it loaded and right on the nightstand but now, he didn’t want her to accidentally pick it up and hurt herself.

He shuts the case with a satisfying snap then turns to Nadia who’s leaning against the opening of the bathroom door. She flashes him a keen smile then pushes off the door jamb entering the bathroom. The water sprays on as he makes his way into the bathroom just in time to see Nadia reach for her zipper.

“Let me,” he tells her softly. His fingers overtake hers, pulling the zipper down its track to the very bottom of her lower back. He brushes the straps off her tanned skin, the fabric drops to the floor in melted gold. She turns around and his breath is stolen at the sight of her naked body before him. “I’ll never get over how beautiful you are.”

Her cheeks flush, then Ashton watches her intently as she unbuttons his dress pants yanking his shirt from the waistband before working on the buttons of his shirt. He lets her push it off his shoulders while he kicks off his boots. He takes over by removing his pants, boxers and socks; his eyes never straying from hers. He lets her lead him into the large shower, steam rolling over them in clouds.

In a controlled manner, he cradles the back of her head in his hand pushing her against the dark tiled wall under the stream of water. Nadia gasps at the movement then hums when he presses his body against hers. She tilts her head back, eyes darkening with lust and love. He smirks at her submission, moving his hand from the back of her head to her neck, his thumb pulling her mouth open.

“What do you want from me, angel?” he asks huskily dipping his head so he can kiss the underside of her jaw. His teeth graze at the lobe of her ear before sucking a bruising kiss on her neck, his favorite form of showing she’s his woman, his love. “Speak to me.”

“Your lips,” she sighs, and he smiles pulling his head back to meet her eyes.

“Where do you want my lips?”

Nadia raises her hand then taps her bottom lip. “Right here.”

He crushes his mouth to hers, tongue invading her mouth easily and he tightens his grip on her waist and the back of her neck. His fingers knot in her hair while her hands travel up his back, squeezing the muscles in his shoulders. He feels as if he’s kissing her too roughly, so he reins it back. Many times before, he’s taken his frustration out by releasing it in rough sex with her. He knows her body well so he knows what she can take, and she always, always has a safe word that if she utters it he will stop whatever he’s doing immediately.

Right now, though, he wants a different form of passion with her, so he kisses her slowly.

“What else?” he mumbles on her lips and she hikes her leg up to his waist. The height difference makes it difficult because she can’t get a firm grip, so he helps by securing his hand behind her knee. His already hard and aching dick brushes against her inner thigh, she bucks her hips forward.

“Want you to fuck me,” she gasps, her nails digging into his skin.

“Already? You don’t want my fingers first?” he teases pushing his hips against hers. Her eyes close and he grins. “You were so good for me in my office…took my fingers so well.”

“Please, Ashton, please,” she whines trying to grind her core over his hot, wet dick.

He leans back then lifts her other leg, so it hooks around his waist securely. He grabs the base of his dick, rubbing his head through her leaking folds, pushing in slightly. Nadia bites her lip.

“You want me to go slow or fast?” he pushes in more, his senses tingling by feeling her warm walls take him in.

“Fast,” she whispers, eyes lowering to watch him enter her inch by inch.

As soon as he’s slotted into her fully, Nadia gasps from the fullness of him, and he begins a fast pace of thrusting. His grip is firm on her thighs as he holds her against the shower wall, cock propelling easily with his force. Nadia’s nails scratch at his back while her body jerks against the tile, her head smacking it as well.

Ashton nudges his hand behind her head as a cushion, he doesn’t want her to get a headache but continues to pound relentlessly into her as her moans bounce off the walls from the stimulation. With each push she clenches around him and it brings Ashton closer to his release. Nadia’s head falls to his neck, her lips suctioning onto his skin.

“Nadia,” he warns through his teeth not wanting a mark to show and he slows his movements. She moans against him instead, her breath hot on his skin, teeth still embedded on his shoulder. “Nadia,” he repeats more sternly, and she releases her teeth.

Satisfied, he picks up his pace, dick slamming in and out in an effortless glide. Her moans are more consistent as she’s rocked with pleasure, clenching around him as she comes.

“That’s my good girl,” he groans, his own orgasm taking over. His hips continue to pulsate against her, his body stilling as they both come down.

Nadia hums, releasing her nails from his skin that Ashton’s sure is covered in red streaks. He doesn’t mind those marks because his men won’t see those. He loves the lasting impression of her passion ingrained in his back, the burn a constant reminder of their fiery love.

He kisses her wet hair, thumb rubbing at the bottom of her scalp before lifting her off him. He sets her down tenderly onto the floor keeping a steady hand on her hips as her legs shake slightly. He glides his hands up and over her chest to cradle her cheeks.

“Let’s clean up and go to bed, yeah? What do you say?”

“Thank you,” she mumbles.

He smiles at her response, it’s not quite the one he was looking for now, but he appreciates it all the same. It was a method he came up with. If she didn’t thank him for an orgasm, it meant he didn’t satisfy her enough—or at all—so that’s his green light to keep going until he pleasured her.

He kisses her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, then gives her a soft peck on the lips before he cleans her up. They massage shampoo in each other’s hair, letting it rinse off as they held each other kissing under the water. Ashton turns the water off and wraps her in the large fluffy towel.

As their bodies dry, they brush their teeth and he brushes through her hair after she toweled it off. It’s one of his most favorite intimate acts to do with her, Nadia adores her hair and he loves the shine and softness of it. Changing into their sleep clothes, he shuts the light off as she crawls into their large bed. When he’s settled next to her, he turns her by the cheek to look up at him.

“I love you, Nadia. You know that, right?”

“Of course, I do. I love you, too, Ashton.” She stretches up to give him a kiss. “Get some sleep and we can discuss Liam tomorrow, okay? I know you’re thinking about it.”

He doesn’t reply as she nestles into the sheets and against his chest, she’s asleep in seconds. Ashton remains awake for hours after. His mind reeling from his past coming into his present, it’s bringing forth emotions he thought he’s long forgotten. Nadia’s fingers tighten on his tank top, sighing out “sleep, honey. ‘m right here.”

He kisses her head then closes his eyes, she’s his weakness as much as she’s his strength.

***

It’s been three weeks now that Nadia has been staying with Ashton. In that time, he’s driven her to and from work and to practice in the city. He’s always parked outside so he can watch for Rozhkov’s men and thankfully she’s been safe every time. Ashton prefers when they’re at his home or La Belle Vie because he knows Nadia is one hundred percent safe.

With his new role of security for Nadia, Calum, Luke, and Michael have all stepped up to take over his usual duties at the club and intercepting phone calls. Ashton is constantly in the know on everything which caused endless late nights; he’s running on caffeine.

The only time Nadia and Ashton are truly apart are when he’s in meetings at the club and while they sleep. One night while he was sending e-mails, he heard a commotion from the kitchen. Jumping into action quickly, he flew down the stairs with his hand on his gun, when he saw her poking around in the cabinets.

Sighing with relief, he removed his hand as he approached her slowly while also forcing himself not to stare at her long legs extended from her shorts.

“Are you all right?” he asked, and she jumped at his voice.

“Yeah, I’m…I can’t sleep so I was looking for a snack…I’m sorry, this isn’t my home I shouldn’t be—”

“No, no, don’t apologize,” he shook his head. “I’m the reason you’re here, treat it like your home. Are you looking for anything in particular?”

“Popcorn?”

When the popcorn was popped and in a large glass bowl, he invited her into his study that was opposite his room. Hearing her munch on the popcorn behind him was oddly endearing as they walked through the skyway. He motioned to a plush armchair that had a blanket thrown over the back. Periodically he would place blankets all over the house for her to use, they appeared to be a comfort for her.

“You’re still in a suit this late?” she asked pulling the gray knit blanket over her legs. “Doesn’t that make you uncomfortable?”

“Not really,” he shrugged crossing out a number on his sheet of paper. “I’ve been wearing suits since I was eighteen.”

“It’s like a dress code,” she mumbled shoving popcorn into her mouth.

“How so?” he grinned.

“All of you wear them. When we’re at La Belle Vie, everybody there is in a suit. Even the women, which, isn’t a bad thing of course, but it’s…interesting.” She gave him a narrowed look and he laughed.

“Are you making observations?”

“I am. I’m trying to do process of elimination.”

“For what?”

“Figuring out your job.”

Ashton froze. The playful banter was short lived like he should expect, but he never wants her to know what he does or has done in the past. He never wants her to see the copious amounts of blood on his hands.

“You won’t figure it out, and it’s better if you don’t. Trust me.”

“I do trust you, remember?”

Nearly every night after that, she would join him in his study while eating a bowl of popcorn talking with him until she finished it. It was always his favorite part of the day, spending this time with her. He got to ask her questions and understand her the more she opens up about herself.

He discovered she started dancing at the young age of four, she was constantly dancing and spinning around the house until her parents decided to set her up with lessons. Nadia quickly danced her way to the top of her class and was always excelling to the next age level, two years ahead her own age.

While ballet had its own structure and poise, Nadia really felt free when she danced, like it was the only place for her to be. She received a full scholarship to Juilliard at the age of seventeen, even studied abroad in the Royal Ballet School in London for one semester and then in The Paris Opera Ballet School in Paris.

Ashton is impressed by her successes asking what made her decide to dance at the Chamber City Company when there are plenty other prime ballet companies to be a part of.

“I love it here; I love teaching other young dancers and ballet is more of my soul than a job. If I were to join any other troupe, I’d be run like a machine and it wouldn’t be enjoyable,” she explained.

On another night, he found out how much she loves chocolate covered strawberries and the fog that blankets over dewy grass in the early mornings. Her guilty pleasure is watching classic black and white romance movies amongst her other likes of Italian food and dislikes of avocadoes. Her brown eyes shine a bit brighter when she talks of her interests, but nothing compares to the sparkle in them when she talks about her dancing.

She’s tried to figure out what his job really entails but Ashton catches on to her innocent questions easily and doesn’t reveal a thing. She never gives up and although he admires her perseverance, it upsets him that he continually lies to her but it’s for her own protection. He knows he’s rationalizing, but he brought her into this mess and telling her the truth would make it messier.

Nadia’s upstairs in the bar area with Michael while Ashton is down in the third lowest level of the club with Asana in the weapons room. She’s tapping away at her laptop while he eyes up some new artillery she has displayed out for him.

“I hear you’re going to Italy soon,” Asana starts conversationally.

“I’ve been trying to get out of it,” he mumbles.

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t want to leave Nadia alone.”

Asana smirks and continues typing when she replies, “Why don’t you bring her with you?”

“Absolutely not,” Ashton deadpans, the look on his face clearly signifying it wasn’t open for discussion.

“She’s safest with you,” Asana sighs and closes her laptop. She leans on it; her dark eyes pierce his. “And if Aleks is keeping eyes on you, he’d use your distance from her as an advantage. He could come here and take her out while you’re gone.”

Ashton ponders this for a moment. He would trust Luke and Michael to protect her while he was gone but Asana has a point; Nadia is safest with him. Wherever he goes, there’s plenty of security plus he’s a deadly weapon himself.

“Wouldn’t that be moving too fast? I’ve known her for three weeks and I’d already be bringing her on a trip to Italy? What would she even do while I’m meeting with the Guerriero’s?”

“I could come with and take her shopping,” she smiles.

“This isn’t a vacation, Asana. And Calum would be working as well.”

“I know, and you know that I protect my own,” Asana’s voice turns assertive. “I can see how much she means to you, boss man. Three weeks or three years, there isn’t a deadline on caring for someone. It happens unexpectedly.”

“What if she says no?”

“Then she says no,” Asana shrugs crossing her arms. “I’ll stay here and help make sure she’s safe and going to practice. Have you seen her dance yet, by the way?”

“No…should I have?”

“I’ve read the forums and reviews of the Chamber City Company, and she’s the best dancer. I was only curious.”

“I’m sure I will someday. Thanks Asana, I’ll think about what you said,” he says then turns to the door, but he stops. “What’s going on between you and Cal anyway?”

“Figure it out, boss man,” she sighs airily then goes back to her work.

Later that night Nadia knocks on his study door and Ashton invites her in with a dull tone. He’s standing near the window rubbing the knots in his neck as she enters. His suit jacket has been tossed on one of the armchairs and his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. He’s been stressed all night.

“Everything all right?” Nadia asks setting the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. She crosses her arms over her chest approaching his desk.

“Not really,” he sighs. “I’m needed in Italy for the next four days. I’ve tried negotiating and sending only Calum but they’re requesting me.”

“Why’s that a bad thing?”

Ashton turns to look at her, his jaw tensing. “I won’t be here to protect you. And while I trust my men and women to do that while I’m away…it puts me at ease when I know for sure you’re safe. With me.”

A soft pink blooms on Nadia’s cheeks at his sentiment. Over the last few weeks, her trust in Ashton has increased tenfold. He’s treated her with the utmost respect and never overcrowds her. He’s sure to give her her space and that she feels comfortable in his house. She’s still trying to figure out his line of business but her only leads are that it’s dangerous and Ashton is fearfully respected from everyone around him.

“Oh. Would I be here by myself?”

“No,” he responds quickly, “I’d have Michael and Luke here with you. My security system is top of the line but--”

“How long would you be gone?”

“Four days. There’s another option but I’m unsure of it,” he swallows thickly then rests his hands on the desk. He lifts his head looking at her in an almost morose way as he weighs the options he’s been given.

“What’s that option?”

“Asana, my head specialist, suggested I bring you with me so I would know you’re safe. But by knowing me…your life has already been upturned, and I don’t want to add more by flying you across the world.”

Nadia chews on her lower lip. How odd is it that if he were to leave her here, she’d be worried about him? From what she’s gathered on her own probing, his job is dangerous, but she doesn’t know exactly why or how.

Since the moment they met, he’s been protecting her with his life.

“I’ve always wanted to go to Italy,” she says brightly.

Ashton’s eyebrows raise in bemusement then he’s laughing, and Nadia follows.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to miss practice or your classes with your students.”

“I’m sure. I can get a sub and practice is on hold because the floors are being redone. There’s only one problem.”

“What’s that?”

“I don’t have a passport,” she laughs nervously. Excitement and nerves bubble in her stomach at the thought of traveling to Italy. She has always wanted to go but never would have dreamed it would be with a man like Ashton, this mysterious, handsome man who has taken her in.

“I can have that arranged, Nadia.”

***

Every morning before Nadia leaves for practice she and Ashton share a cup of coffee and a light breakfast of English muffins and fruit. She leaves the remaining crumbs outside for the birds that always come by the feeder and birdbath, a request she made to Ashton long ago of keeping birdseed on hand. There’s something about watching them that soothes her and always brings a smile to her face.

“How long is practice today?” Ashton asks watching her place the small scraps of food in her palm.

“Three, then I teach from four to five thirty,” she rises from her place at the table and opens one of the French doors. Ashton watches her as she sprinkles the treats on the wooden platform of the feeder then comes back inside to stand next to him. “Do we have plans tonight?”

“Well,” he sighs winding his arm around her waist to pull her closer, “I’ve got a big meeting today that I’m hoping won’t go until five thirty. I was thinking we could go downtown to Caesar’s Palace for dinner?” He rests his other hand on her stomach, rubbing her affectionately.

“You know I never turn down Caesar’s,” she smiles brushing his dark hair away from his forehead. “Should I have Vinny drop me off at the club or come home and wait for you?”

“Meet me at the club, I’m having a new dress delivered for you,” he grins up at her and Nadia tugs on his hair.

“Ashton! What did we just discuss last night?” she whines in mock irritation.

“I can’t help it that I want to spoil you, baby,” he tickles her stomach until she’s doubling over squealing in laughter.

“Spoil me too much and I might get used to it,” she growls lowly in his ear. She nips at the shell of his ear and Ashton tries to drag her onto his lap but Nadia fights away from his grasp. “No, no,” she wiggles her finger at his perplexed expression; she’s never pulled away from him before. “If I spoil you too much, you might get used to it, honey.”

She twirls on her heels and Ashton has half a mind to follow after her, take her in his arms and press her against the kitchen island while his teeth graze along her throat and his fingers slip into her shorts. He restrains himself, knowing that in doing what he desires will leave them both late which isn’t much of a concern for himself, but he doesn’t want to put Nadia in that position. So, he watches her in an ever-growing fondness as she skips upstairs to their room to get dressed.

Within an hour, both Ashton and Nadia are in the main foyer waiting for Vinny to arrive. Ashton is making sure his cufflinks (black with his initials in gold) are situated perfectly while Nadia is plucking off small pieces of lint that only she can see off his shoulders. Her hair is done up in a French chignon with some fly aways shaping her face.

“So, at precisely five forty-five you will be in your office waiting for me for dinner?” she asks, her eyebrows flicking up.

“If the meeting goes well, yes, I will be waiting anxiously for you at five forty-five itching with excitement to help you change into your new dress,” he winks.

“You’re terrible,” Nadia giggles gathering her bags in her arms and over her shoulders. “There won’t be room in our closet if you keep buying me all these dresses.”

“I could always have a new closet built for you,” he suggests tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

“My own Barbie Dream Closet, huh?”

“If you say so, doll,” he grins bending down to give her a tender kiss. Nadia sighs into his affection, always welcoming it.

“People will think you dress me every morning,” she mumbles on his lips.

“I prefer to undress you,” his mouth travels to her ear. Nadia snickers and pushes on his chest, but his grip is tight on her forearm.

“You’ve been insatiable, lately,” she sighs in appreciation, “what’s gotten into you?”

Ashton’s lips freeze on her lobe as her words set in. He’s acting the way he did when he was eighteen with Liam, the feeling of losing control so he tried to combat it by fixating it on his sexual endeavors. He doesn’t want Nadia to be a part of that spectrum, but with Aleks Rozhkov coming at large and Liam reappearing, it seems he’s slipping into his old self.

“I’m sorry,” he huffs kissing her cheek innocently before pulling away. “Things have been tense at work.”

“We can talk about it at dinner, and Liam if you want. He’s a big part of this too, right?” Nadia frowns.

Ashton sighs, he desperately wants to tell her everything about his life. She’s been wrapped up in it with him for almost a year and a half. Could he tell her? Should he tell her? Before he can answer, there’s a swift knock on the front door, Vinny’s arrived and Ashton sighs again.

“We’ll talk at dinner. Have a good day and dance your heart out for me, okay?”

“I always do,” she smiles rising on her toes to give him a kiss. “I love you. Don’t work too hard.”

“I love you, too, angel,” he grins opening the door. “Vinny.”

“Hello sir,” Vinny greets. He’s a tall, very broad-shouldered man with a crew cut. He’s tough as nails but is sweet as pie to Nadia, much like everyone in Ashton’s mafia family is. “I’ll make sure she’s at the club right at five forty-five.”

“Thanks Vinny,” Ashton nods as he takes Nadia’s bags from her. “I’ll try to call or text around lunchtime, Nadia.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later,” she steals another kiss to his cheek then follows Vinny to his matte black Bentley Bentayga that is equipped with bulletproof doors and windows. A feature added thanks to Asana that eases Ashton’s worry when she’s away from him.

Ashton feels the ticking of his watch against his wrist as he watches Calum circle a new Snatcher in the middle of the interrogation room. When he arrived at La Belle Vie, Ashton immediately went to his office to listen to voicemails from the Sheriff’s department and the Guerriero’s requesting his and Nadia’s presence at their annual party. He was called into the interrogation room at eleven o’clock.

Calum has only received bits of information that don’t hold value to Ashton, the Snatcher’s name and his birthday, which Ashton has already forgotten. Michael and Luke have been eyeing Ashton throughout the whole altercation, waiting for his order to do something more or to take the situation into his own hands.

Ashton is exhausted. Each tick of his watch is another reminder that he’s missed his window to call Nadia and it’s left him on a dangerous edge. He wants answers and his fingers twitch at the thought of getting them himself.

“Should we turn the heat up on him?” Michael asks almost excitedly. Luke perks up next to him, this has been a boring questioning for all of them.

Ashton unbuttons his suit jacket, and immediately one of his other associates is beside him to help remove the jacket. He sets his jaw while rolling up his sleeves carefully, watching Calum as he’s bent in front of the Snatcher.

“Hang that up,” Ashton orders motioning to his jacket, “I have dinner plans tonight.” He steps into the square patch of light, revealing himself to the Snatcher who visibly gulps at his appearance. It makes Ashton smirk. “Why don’t you take a break Cal, get a drink.”

“You sure, boss? I just got my ring cleaned and wanted to test it out on this fucker,” Calum turns his fist in the light, his engraved ring that also matches Ashton’s initials engraved ring glimmers. Each member has their initials in a ring so they can leave their mark like Ashton, it’s a form of unity.

“Maybe later. You’ve been at this too long, let me see if I can get our friend here to talk.”

“You’re in for it now,” Calum grins devilishly at the Snatcher. He gives Ashton a quick glance then backs into the darkness.

Ashton cocks his head to the side, folding his arms over his chest as he inspects the Snatcher like a car he’s thinking of buying. He’s contemplating on how to proceed. The ticking of his clock is felt on his whole arm, a constant reminder that his Nadia is dancing.

“From what I’ve heard, you were quite easy to catch,” he begins. “Why’s that?”

“It was either get caught by your stupid men or fall off the building,” the man responds. “I didn’t want to die so this seemed like the lesser option.”

“Oh, you think so?” Ashton smirks. “If that’s the case, then why did you gulp when I showed up?” he walks around the man slowly, taking in his body language. His arms are bound tightly behind him on the back of the chair, but his body is full of tension, Ashton can see the sweat on his neck as he comes back around to his front. “You’ve heard things about me, right?” Ashton bends over to look into his eyes.

The man clears his throat and licks his lips averting his gaze from Ashton’s. “Maybe.”

“I’m curious as to how you think being brought to me is the lesser option,” Ashton stands straight again, planting his feet.

“Others have been let go and told to change their identity.”

Ashton stares at him for a long time, waiting for the punchline because that’s the furthest thing from the truth. When the punchline doesn’t come, Ashton shakes his head sighing.

“Who told you that? Your boss Aleks? Hate to break it—actually, no, I’d love to break it to you, Snatcher, but he’s been lying to you. I don’t let people go.”

“Then just kill me.”

“No…no, I don’t think I will,” Ashton rubs his chin as if in contemplative thought. “This could be your lucky day where I do let you go after you give me the information I ask for. This tough act of mine could be just that, right? An act? So, tell me what Aleks is doing in my city again after being silent and you’ll be on your merry way to Mexico or wherever you think your other Snatcher fiends have disappeared to.”

There’s silence for a long moment, Ashton waits patiently. The ticking against his wrist feels harder, sounds louder, and it just makes him angrier that he couldn’t call Nadia on her lunch break. He can’t let that show right now, he wants the Snatcher to think he’ll walk free and release Aleks’ information.

“I have all day here,�� he sighs, “I can order food and drink and enjoy it right in front of you until you talk. Because you will talk. Sandy beaches calling your name and all that.”

“It’s… it has nothing to do with you,” the Snatcher finally says, shoulders falling in defeat.

“What has nothing to do with me? You need to be more specific.”

“He—Aleks, he wants….” He shifts in his chair, but it only tightens the restraints on his body.

“What does he want?” Ashton implores stepping closer.

“He wants Nadia.”

Ashton fights to keep his composure while his associates react to that information and the ticking against his skin isn’t helping as it sounds a lot like her name. Na-dia, Na-dia, tick, tick. He inhales deeply through his nose.

“What does he want with her?”

“He’s getting paid from some anonymous person with a lot of money. They say she dances like no one has ever seen before.”

“What does this anonymous dealer plan to do?”

“Aleks will get paid in full and the anonymous person will kill her.”

Ashton flexes his fingers walking behind the Snatcher again, so he won’t see Ashton shaking with rage. He looks to Michael who understands what he wants without a word; to check on Nadia with Vinny. Michael exits the interrogation room with his phone already pressed to his ear.

Ashton regains his composure then circles back in front of the Snatcher; he rests his hands on the arms of the chair peering at him with a look that could honestly kill.

“What is the point of wanting her then killing her?” Ashton hates speaking the words out loud, it leaves a vile taste in his mouth.

“Aleks negotiated he’d have her as his own tiny dancer before sending her off to the anonymous dealer.”

Ashton stares him down, his anger boiling as the ticking of his watch persists. When he stands to full height he walks back around the chair just as Michael comes back into the room nodding his head that Nadia is all right.

“When does he plan on executing this plan?” Ashton’s voice is leveled.

“I don’t know,” he shakes his head vigorously which in part shakes his whole body. “Can I go now? I told you everything I know.”

Ashton slips his gun from his shoulder holster meticulously; he runs his fingers over his initials on the grip.

“You’re wrong again, because if it’s about Nadia,” he bends down so his mouth is level with the Snatcher’s ear, “it has everything to do with me. It isn’t your lucky day after all.” In one swift motion, Ashton stands straight releasing the safety and pulls the trigger into the back of the Snatcher’s head. “You would’ve been better off falling off that building.” The Snatcher’s body crumples forward as the shot echoes throughout the room. “Put the lights on please. Clean this mess up.”

He holsters his gun while extending his arm for his jacket that is placed over his forearm and he leaves the room. Noises of his associates springing into action follow him up the stairs to the bar. Calum is sitting near the edge of the bar as if waiting for Ashton to ascend.

“Ready for me?” Calum asks rising from his seat.

“He’s taken care of,” Ashton mumbles continuing to walk past him towards his office. Calum is quick to follow, knowing to remain silent in the elevator until they’re in the safety of his office.

Ashton tosses his jacket over the back of the couch moving to his drink cart and pours himself brandy in a crystal glass. He swallows it in one pull before he pours another then sits himself at his desk. Calum approaches him carefully.

“What’d you find out?” Calum asks sitting in one of his chairs.

Ashton circles the rim of the glass with his finger. “An anonymous dealer is paying Aleks to capture Nadia. Aleks plans to use her as his own tiny dancer before sending her off to the dealer who will then kill her.”

“What for?”

“I don’t know,” Ashton murmurs, removing his finger from the glass then sits back in his chair. Calum’s brows are furrowed in thought. “The Snatcher didn’t know anything else. Security is going to be tripled, and I’m going to contact Hotchkiss to be on high alert.”

“But Nadia’s all right?”

“I wouldn’t be here if she weren’t. I don’t want to alarm her, but I’m sending more men to her dance class to be safe until Vinny brings her back here.”

“What about her performance of Romeo and Juliet? That’s in a few days, isn’t it?”

“Shit,” Ashton hisses. He sighs deeply twisting his engraved ring. “I’ll have to tell her she can’t do it. I’m not risking her getting taken right under my nose.”

“She’s not going to like that, mate,” Calum shakes his head.

“Quite frankly, I don’t give a damn. Her safety has always been my top priority, you know that, and she knows that.”

There’s a knock at the door and Peter, the best of Ashton’s waitstaff, enters swiftly.

“Sorry sir, this was delivered, and I was told to personally hand it to you,” Peter says holding out a square envelope.

Ashton takes it from him, inspecting his name scrawled on the front. “Thank you, Peter.” He cuts it open with his letter opener to see it’s an invitation. In a sloping font on hard parchment are the words:

Liam Payne requests the presence of Ashton Irwin and Nadia Sharapova at his favored residence of King’s Club at eight o’clock. Mr. Payne will be on the second floor.

Ashton curses and tosses the invitation across his desk. Calum picks it up, reads through it quickly then glances up at his friend, his boss, with eyebrows raised.

“So, he is back, then?”

“He wants to help take down Rozhkov apparently. I’ll go but Nadia isn’t coming.”

“You were just saying how you wanted security tripled. You know you’ll be more focused on her wellbeing than talking with Liam. Why don’t you want her to go?”

“He showed a little too much interest for my liking.”

Calum’s lips twitch. “Everyone shows a little too much interest in Nadia for your liking. She should go with you; I know how Liam being here is derailing you, but she helps keep you at ease. Security will still be tight, but if you don’t bring her she’ll know something’s up.”

Ashton sighs because he knows Calum is right. Nadia does keep him grounded and with the new information of requesting her kidnapping, he’d be a fool to let her out of his sight.

***

It’s the night before Nadia will be joining Ashton to Italy. She arrived home—how strange it is to call Ashton’s home hers and even stranger that it felt so natural—from ballet class to see bags set aside to the entrance of the kitchen. Curious, she inspects them closer to see one of them has a tag with her name on it. Ashton must have packed for her.

On the counter she saw his wallet and keys and a note of their flight departure, she noticed a passport wasn’t present. Had he forgotten she doesn’t have a passport? Nadia looks all over the counter and the kitchen table for the small blue book but saw nothing and decides to head upstairs in search of Ashton.

There’s low music coming from his room, the door partially closed. She knocks before opening it and doesn’t see Ashton. She steps in a bit further peering into his closet that was open to the right when the bathroom door swings open behind her.

“Nadia?”

“Oh!” she jumps turning around then gasps when she sees Ashton wearing nothing, but a black towel held in his fist on his waist. She ogles at his bare torso, the chains of his necklace shining with his tattoos on full display over his muscular stomach. Her eyes continue to travel over his perfectly curled chest hair down as it disappears in a thin trail passed his bellybutton. There are some scars littered about his skin that she wants to know each story of.

“Is everything all right?” he asks, fist tightening on the towel.

“Um, I’m sorry. I…uhh, I was…” she stutters forcing her eyes back up to his hazel ones that are dead set on her. Her cheeks warm by being caught gawking and clears her throat, “I saw things were packed downstairs but didn’t see a passport for me.”

“It will be on the jet tomorrow morning, don’t worry,” he smiles moving to his dresser. He pulls open a drawer, the muscles in his back flexing with the motion and Nadia’s mouth goes dry. There’s another tattoo on the back of his neck, some type of bird that piques her interest once more. Her eyes follow the slope of his back downward, stopping at the towel where she can see the outline of his ass. He turns around, his expression amused. “Is that all?”

His voice snaps her gaze away and she wishes the earth would open up and swallow her whole. How embarrassing to be caught not just once, but twice at checking out his body.

“That’s all,” she clears her throat once more then walks briskly to the door. “Um, thank you. Sorry.”

She rushes into her room, snapping the door closed behind her and touches her hands to her burning hot cheeks. The first thing she’d noticed about Ashton was how incredibly handsome he is, but she never thought of him without a shirt on. Now that she’s seen him—muscles, tattoos and all—that’s all she sees when she closes her eyes when she’s in bed.

The next morning, Ashton and Nadia arrive at the plane hangar just as the sun is starting to rise from the horizon. Nadia’s only flown on a plane a handful of times, but this is the first time she’ll be on a private jet. She’s still trying to figure out exactly what Ashton does; is he a CEO of some major company she’s never heard of? With all the security (there’s about half a dozen standing outside the plane) she almost wonders if he’s a Prince of some sort.

He motions her forward up the steps, she uses the railing to steady herself because without it she would fall to her knees in disbelief that she’s boarding a private plane. Once inside, it’s decorated the way she thought it would be in dark maroons, blacks and accents of gold. Ashton certainly has a desired taste.

“Pick any seat,” he tells her quietly.

Nadia moves a little bit more towards the back near the bathroom and sits down on the plush leather seat, her fingers rub over the fabric.

“My passport—”

“Is up with the Captain. You’ll get it just as we land,” he nods placing his phone on the seat across the aisle from her. He glances at her to see she’s sitting on her hands, legs shaking as she gazes out the plane window. “Are you nervous?” he moves to the seat across from her.

“A little,” she pulls her lip in her mouth, smiling bashfully. “I’m not too sure why.”

“If it’s your safety you’re concerned about, you’ll be well protected,” he leans forward resting his hand over her knee, “I promise.”

Nadia nods just as commotion from the front of the plane is heard, Calum and a strikingly beautiful woman with long dark hair held in a pony atop her head and skin to match board. Ashton removes his hand as Calum and the woman approach. The simple touch left Nadia’s knee burning, and she had to shift her mind from envisioning him in only his towel.

“Nadia, you remember Calum?” Ashton asks and Nadia stands from her seat, smiling to Calum. “And this is Asana, she’s one of my best specialists.”

“I’m the best,” Asana smiles then holds out her hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Nadia.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Nadia shakes her hand, “What do you specialize in?”

“Weapons,” Asana answers simply, Ashton sucks in a breath that doesn’t go unnoticed by Nadia. “The company buys, sells and trades weapons and I know which ones are worth keeping or selling. I hear you’re a dancer. How’d that start?”

Asana sits in the seat Ashton recently occupied and Nadia sits back down in her own.

“I was four when I started dancing and I picked it up super easily. Dancing has always been a part of me, and I dance with the Chamber City Company,” Nadia explains.

“Do you have any shows coming up? I’d love to see you dance.”

“Sleeping Beauty will be premiering in a couple of weeks,” she says glancing quickly to Ashton who appears to be in deep conversation with Calum. “I’m the Lilac Fairy.”

“Oh, how pretty. When’s opening night? I want to be front and center.”

Nadia continues to answer Asana’s questions and asks a bit of her own as well. Asana has been with Ashton’s company for almost four years, she sought him out when she discovered his company is number one in the business. Nadia feels a comradeship with Asana instantly, she’s easy to talk to and is excited to learn more about her on this little trip.

Nadia tries to listen in on Ashton and Calum’s conversation about their meeting, but the only thing she hears is that it’s with someone named Guerriero. Eventually, as the flight continues and meals are had, she becomes sleepy and curls up against the seat.

When she wakes to use the bathroom, Ashton is still awake on his phone as she passes by his seat. Her stomach grumbles a little while she washes her hands, back home she’d be in Ashton’s office with a bowl of popcorn. Nadia returns to her seat to find a small bag of popcorn on her pillow accompanied by another blanket. She looks to Ashton who gives her a smile then pops his own piece of popcorn into his mouth, an opened bag sits in his lap.

“Thank you,” Nadia whispers with a smile and sits back in her seat pulling apart the bag.

“You’re welcome,” he whispers back, eyes crinkling and shining in the blue light of his phone.

“You should go to sleep.”

“I will soon, just a few more e-mails.”

Nadia sighs shaking her head but watches him silently as she eats her small bag of popcorn. After a few minutes, Ashton looks up at her.

“You should sleep, Nadia. I don’t want you to have jet lag.”

“You should, too, Ashton.” Her lips spread in a playful smile and Ashton chuckles.

“All right, fine. When we’re done with our popcorn, we’ll both go to sleep. I heard you’re going to be in a show, soon?” he pockets his phone in his suit jacket then picks up his popcorn bag.

“Yeah, opening night is in two weeks from today actually, or tomorrow depending where we are in the world.”

“Would it be all right if I came and watched?”

“I’d like that,” she nods watching the way his jaw muscle works as he chews. “Asana said she’d like to come as well.”

“Then I’m sure Calum would like a ticket,” he grins.

The popcorn is finished in comfortable silence, Nadia drifts off to sleep easily and Ashton stays awake a little longer but he’s not answering e-mails. He’s on the Chamber City Company’s website buying the whole front row of seats and a large bouquet of flowers to be sent to Nadia on opening night. He glances at her while she sleeps, her long brown hair cascading over her shoulder looking soft as silk. He wonders if she thinks about their post shower interaction as much as he does.

The first two days of staying at Ashton’s villa in Italy are spent sleeping on and off by Nadia due to the jetlag. Ashton secretly favored this because he knew she’d be safer in the house with Asana. He made sure a chef cooked her three meals a day while he was with Calum discussing terms with the Guerriero’s and that there was popcorn stocked.

On the third day, Asana finds Nadia out by the pool basking in the sun. She sits on the pool chair beside her frowning.

“What’s up?” Nadia asks.

“Do you want to go shopping? I know Ashton wants you to stay here so you’re safe, but you’re in Italy! There’s a club Ashton and Calum are going to that’s always a good time. Please, Nadia, you’re killing me being cooped up in this villa while we’re in Europe,” Asana urges.

Nadia laughs softly and considers Asana’s suggestion.

“I do want to explore a bit…will Ashton be mad?”

She has seen him beat up three men when they first met after all, but he never raised his voice at her, and how could he expect her to stay inside while in a beautiful country? She’s upset that she wasted the first two days sleeping off her jetlag but that couldn’t be helped. There’s a feeling in her stomach almost nagging at her not to do it but another voice in her head is telling her this is probably a once in a lifetime opportunity.

“What if he does get mad?”

“I’ll handle him,” Asana holds out her hand, “come take a walk on the wild side.”

The pair venture out exploring the city and shop in almost every boutique they walk past. Asana made sure she had some security with them and had her own weapons hidden very discreetly on her person. She can handle Ashton no problem, but she’s seen him furious and hopes that her extra thought to protection would ease him up a bit.

After their quick dinner of true pasta cuisine, they arrive back at the villa to see Ashton waiting for them at the front door. He disappears inside, Asana and Nadia exchange a look before trekking up the steps after him, shopping bags jostling against each other before setting them down on the floor.

“I thought we agreed you’d stay in the villa?” his voice is low and controlled. Nadia can hear the slight aggravation in it though.

“If it was while I was sleeping than that’s not fair, I wasn’t that coherent,” Nadia defends crossing her arms. “I wanted to see more of Italy than out of these windows.”

“She was perfectly—” Asana begins but Calum clears his throat from the stairs. He shakes his head then motions her to come join him. Asana sighs moving next to him and Nadia is alone in front of Ashton.

“It’s dangerous Nadia, and I need to know you’re safe here.”

“What was the point of me being here if I can’t leave? I’m not your prisoner.”

“The point,” he steps forward, his jaw set and his eyes dark. Nadia stands her ground but can understand how intimidating he is to everyone else. “Is that you don’t get hurt. It’s the last night and you’re going to stay here. End of discussion.”

He stalks away down the hall with Calum following him. Nadia turns to Asana who has an apologetic smile. Nadia lifts up her bags of new clothes, grabs Asana’s hand moving upstairs.

“We’re going to that club.”

Ashton is listening to Angelo Guierrero over the pulsating music of the club, his eyes gliding over the dancing bodies below. The VIP suite is filled with members of both mafia families and the drinks keep flowing as women keep interloping between the men in seats. At his vantage point he has perfect view of the entrance and his heart plummets into his stomach when he sees Nadia enter with Asana.

“I am glad we have uh…how you say, come to agreement,” Angelo continues holding out his gold ring covered hand.

“I am too, Angelo,” Ashton responds shaking the man’s hand, his eyes darting away quickly from Nadia. “Do you mind if we enjoy the rest of our evening? No more business talk, yeah?”

Angelo gives out a hearty laugh squeezing Ashton’s hand.

“Si, si! Divertitevi!”

Ashton rises from his armchair leaning on the railing as he watches Nadia press through the bodies. He’s torn between anger and amazement that she disobeyed him by coming here. She looks exquisite in a sparkly maroon dress, her cleavage shimmers in the strobe lights while she dances to the music which is ironically a remixed version of Sexy Chick. Her flowing brown hair falls over her shoulder in a long ponytail while her back is exposed from the dress, and Ashton sees a tattoo inked along her spine.

He’s hypnotized by her movements, her arms are thrown into the air as she dances, her body fluid as water. It makes him want to see her dance ballet desperately. Calum joins his side who sighs in disappointment observing the two women in the middle of the dance floor.

“Do you think Asana convinced her to come?” Calum asks.

“No,” Ashton murmurs watching Nadia move seductively to the beat. Her eyes glide up to meet his and she gives him a sly smile. “This was Nadia’s decision.”

The two men watch Nadia and Asana dance and drink together for a few more songs until Ashton can’t stand it anymore and moves to the stairs without a goodbye to Angelo. He wants to get Nadia out of here and back to villa where she can’t get into trouble. She’s already in trouble with him but he’s not quite sure if he’ll reprimand her yet as he pushes through the hot sweaty bodies.

As he approaches her, there’s a man that’s trying to pull Nadia against him to dance but she’s clearly trying to push him away. Asana is cornered by two other men, but Ashton knows she’ll have them on their asses in about thirty seconds. When Ashton finally approaches, he shoves the man away grabbing Nadia’s wrist and drags her out of the club.

“What is your problem?!” she shrieks trying to twist her free of his vice-like grip.

“I told you stay at the villa,” he responds through his teeth.

“For my protection, right? What exactly are you protecting me from?”

Ashton ignores her as she continues to resist and yell drunkenly at him until they’re to his car. Calum and Asana’s voices carry over to them when he opens the door, pushing her inside.

“I’m not a child,” she glowers at him.

“You’re sure acting like one,” he growls back.

“Sorry, sir,” she snarls clambering into the car.

Ashton sets his jaw then shuts the door in her face. He slides into the driver seat easily, waiting for Asana and Calum to join them in the car.

Once everyone is settled, he peels away from the curb zooming back to the villa. He glances at her in the rearview mirror, his anger dissipates each time he looks back. He tries not to let his eyes wander over her long legs, but he fails miserably. They look smooth as satin and he’s desperate for a touch, but he tightens his hand on the steering wheel.

Back at the villa, Nadia storms out of the car slamming the door harshly in her wake. Asana glares at Ashton and Calum before following her inside. Ashton doesn’t see either of them until it’s time to drive back to the jet the next afternoon. Nadia won’t look or speak to him.

*

Nadia’s opening night is in a few days and in between that time and coming back from Italy, she still hasn’t spoken to Ashton, she’s been very cold and distant. Ashton had decided to be the one to drive her to practice and to her ballet class she teaches. At one point she looked like she was about to say something when he told her that bit of news, but she remained tight lipped, nodded, and walked away to her room.

Thankfully, when she accompanied him to La Belle Vie she would join Asana at the bar and talk with her. The two have become incredibly close since their rendezvous in Italy. Nadia’s laughter always follows him as he greets other associates in the bar area before inviting them to his office.

Nadia watches him disappear through the secret door to his office, his hazel eyes meeting her warm brown. For a moment she forgets she’s upset with him, that he treated her like a child by dragging her from the club in such a manner and forcing her to stay inside like she was a grounded teenager. Then she remembers how little he made her feel and her bitterness is returned.

“He’s very protective of people he cares about,” Asana tries to reason.

“He didn’t yell at you and drag you out,” Nadia mutters.

“That’s because he knows I would kick his ass. Don’t worry, I got a mouthful from Calum,” she shakes her head then gulps down the rest of her dirty martini easily.

“What’s going on between you and Calum, anyway?” Nadia peers at her friend with a slight smirk.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Asana winks then pops her olive into her mouth. “Probably the same thing that’s going on between you and Ashton.”

It’s Nadia’s turn to blush.

She’s not entirely sure what’s going between her and Ashton. There’s no doubt some form of chemistry between them, but there’s so many secrets he’s keeping. She appreciates his protection but the way he treated her at the club was almost insulting. She’s not some fragile doll that will break.

The next morning, she speaks to Ashton for the first time telling him she’ll be at the studio late.

“What for?” he asks scrolling through his e-mails and drinking his coffee.

“I want to make sure I have all my variations down.”

“Opening night is tomorrow; won’t you be tired if you have to be at the theater by five?” his eyebrows raise, and Nadia is taken aback at his knowledge of her schedule.

“No, I won’t be. So, you don’t have to stay while I dance. I’ll call you when I’m finished.”

“I’ll stay. No need for me running around and leave you there unprotected.”

Nadia sighs in defeat, she knows fighting him on this will only end in his victory. She’s not nervous about the performance at all, she’s more nervous about having Ashton seeing her dance.

At five thirty on the dot, Ashton enters the dance studio where Nadia teaches the smaller students. He holds the door open for the dance moms and dads as their little one’s prance along the sidewalk. Nadia is cleaning up small ribbons from the floor when he notices her.

“Can you lock the door for me, please?” she asks, and Ashton complies. “There’s a small office through that door you can use. You don’t have to sit out here and be distracted.”

“All right, let me know when you’re ready to go.”

As soon as Ashton settles in the quaint office area and has his phone opened to his e-mails, orchestra music starts to play, and he looks out the window of the door to see Nadia dancing. She’s everything he’s pictured in his head but so much more. He can see the true power in her body as she moves fluidly, her muscles pronounced in her movements.

He loses the concept of time as he watches her glide across the floor, he’s transfixed by her and realizes how deep his attraction and care for her truly runs. He rises from his seat, opens the door and the music fills his ears. With careful steps he moves towards Nadia, her legs lifting high in the air as she moves closer and closer to him.

She comes to an abrupt stop right into his arms, gasping at him being there. Her fingers squeeze on his suit covered bicep while his hand braces her lower back, her brown eyes shift to meet his honey green tea colored ones.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, chest heaving from dancing. “Is the music too distracting?”

“No,” Ashton shakes his head pulling a stray strand of her hair from her lips. “You’re distracting, I haven’t gotten anything done since you started dancing.”

“I’m sorry,” she tries to push away from him, “we can go—”

“Not yet, I have something to do first.”

“What?”

In an instant, Ashton dips his head to kiss her and as soon as their lips touch an electric shock is exchanged. Nadia hadn’t realized how desperately she wanted to kiss him until now and now she doesn’t want to stop. She gasps on his mouth letting him guide the kiss how he wants, her stomach filled with butterflies.

The hand that’s not on her back slides up her thigh underneath the practice skirt she’s wearing giving her chills at his touch. Nadia rises on her toes and Ashton lifts her in the air, their lips still connected in passion. Her legs wrap around his waist, she can feel his strong muscles as he holds her.

Already wanting to be closer to him, she tries to work open the buttons on his shirt and Ashton halts their kiss settling her back down on the floor.

“I’m sorry, I—”

“Stop apologizing,” he holds her jaw in his hand, his thumb brushing over her lower lip. “The reason I stopped is because what I want to do with you shouldn’t be done in an open window studio.” He feels her shiver at his hushed words, and he smirks. “Let’s go home.”

*

Ashton leads Nadia through the skyway hand in hand, the sun is just setting below the trees and they’re cast in a burning red glow. Her stomach twists in anticipation at what’s about to come as they enter his bedroom. Cloaked in red, he pushes her to the edge of his bed, his fingers lifting up her skintight shirt. She pushes off his suit jacket, eyes widening at the shiny gun secured to his stomach.

“Let me put this away,” he tells her covering the weapon with his hand, “and you take this off for me, hm?” his finger dips below the waistband of her skirt. His finger leaves her skin ablaze.

Eyes glued to each other, he watches her pull her skirt down and off her legs, followed by her leggings so she’s standing only in her bra and panties. Ashton groans slightly as she pulls her hair out from the low bun, it cascades over her breasts in dark waves. When he’s finished with the proper safety precautions with his gun, he locks it in his case. He stalks towards her, unbuttoning his shirt then tosses it to the floor. She looks so tempting in the red glow of the night, she’s the epitome of desire and he wants a taste.

“Can you take the rest off for me?” his eyes gesture to her bra and panties. Nadia’s quick to comply, the air of dominance in his voice is apparent yet not forceful. His questions always give her an option for an out if she wishes. She slips her bra off slowly, relishing in the way his eyes practically devour her before pulling down her panties. “Sit down.”

Again, she obeys then Ashton falls to his knees in front of her. He spreads her legs open so he can lean up and give her a burning kiss, his tongue swiping in her mouth. She kisses him back in excitement, hands sliding over his shoulders and into his hair. His fingers tickle up her thighs to her waist, he pulls his lips from hers and smiles as she chases for more of his kiss.

“I’m going to make you feel good, okay?” he pants, and she nods, her fingers tightening in his hair. “Lay down.” She lays back and he falls with her because of her hold on his hair but he leaves sucking kisses down her sternum to her lower stomach.

He lifts her legs so her feet rest on the end of the bed, his nose skims up her thigh then he transitions to the other thigh.  He kisses on her pubic bone and Nadia sucks in a harsh breath. Ashton wraps his arms around her thighs, then flattens his tongue against her core in one long, slow stroke. Her body lurches from the contact. It makes Ashton smile glancing up at her as her eyes close when he stretches his tongue on her lips again.

He dips his tongue lower, teasing her entrance then adds his lips to finally get a full taste. Nadia gasps, her thighs tightening around his head. Ashton moves in quick motions, flicking his tongue against her clit then suctions his mouth on her, eating her out vigorously. She rotates her hips with his mouth, her moans sound quiet and restrained so Ashton pulls his mouth from her.

“Nadia, look at me,” he says kissing up her thigh lazily. Her eyes open heavily. “Don’t hold back. When you orgasm, you’re going to say ‘thank you’ after each one. Then I know you’re feeling good. Understand?” she nods, and he nips at her thigh which makes her yelp. “Tell me.”

“Under…I understand, sir,” she gulps breathless.

“Good girl, I love when you call me that,” he mutters lowering his face to her exposed core. He teases her by ghosting his mouth over her pussy lips, inhaling her in. “Taste better than I imagined,” he sighs then dives right back in. Nadia gasps, circling her hips with his mouth again, back arching as his tongue licks the right spot.

Her thighs quake as she comes on his mouth, he slurps at her excitedly tightening his fingers on her thighs until they relax but Ashton doesn’t let up.

“Thank you,” she sighs quietly.

He hums against her, his tongue circling her clit while he adds a finger inside her. The moan she makes causes the strain in his pants become noticeable, but he ignores it to please her more. He pumps his finger inside her easily, curling it then tickling her spongy wall as his tongue frantically licks.

“You’re such a good girl for me,” he sighs.

She’s wriggling beneath him, thighs clenching once more and her orgasm leaks on his tongue and finger. This orgasm lasts slightly longer, her whimpering drives him crazy and he needs to be inside her. He slides his finger out, sucking her taste off him as he does, and her body deflates against the bed. Ashton wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, appreciating the way she looks coming down.

He removes his clothes quickly, slipping on a condom then lifts her up placing her in the middle of his bed. Nadia lifts her legs so he can slot himself in between her thighs, he kisses up her stomach, tongue swirling over her nipple then he hovers above her, his arms on either side of her head.

“You forgot something, angel,” he sighs kissing her neck. “What do you say?”

“Thank you,” she responds automatically. He smiles, happy with her quick submission to him. He drops his hips against hers, she lets out an impatient huff. “Please, Ashton…need you.”

Ashton plants his knees on the bed pushing her legs up farther, the head of his dick nudging inside and clipping her clit. Her nails are scratching up the sides of his back urging him further until he bottoms out then begins an even rhythm. Nadia’s fingers slope up his back, meeting his thrusts evenly then he kisses her. He pushes her legs even further to her elbows so he can pound into her with ease and power.

“A-ash,” she pants, nails digging into his back.

He fists the comforter as he tries to keep his release at bay, he’s concentrating on his breathing but it’s so hard when she’s clenching around him. Her nails add another sensation he’s never felt, it’s pulling the burn for her from the inside out.

“Thank you, oh…Ash,” she whimpers in his neck and he quickly pulls out, flipping her over onto her stomach with ease.

He roams his hands over her ass then to her hips, dragging her closer. He slides into her easily, picking up a quick pace of fucking her from behind. From this angle he can see the tattoo inked up her spine, he glides his fingers over the intricate looped design and the flower that rests between her shoulder blades. Nadia’s moans are consistent at this angle, he feels her multiple orgasms lubricating him up, so he’s slick with her juices making it easier to snap his hips against her.

She’s pushing herself onto him, aiding in her release while a quick succession of ‘thank yous’ tumble from her lips. Ashton’s climax is approaching fast, so he leans forward, propelling his pelvis in quick movements. His nose is in her hair, he’s intoxicated by her smell, her pussy clenching around him as he finally lets go. She’s moaning with his groans until he’s finished then remains there for a moment catching his breath.

With kisses to her shoulder and down her back, he pulls out then steps off the bed. He removes the condom tossing it quickly into his bathroom trash. Nadia is still slumped over, her ass in the air and he loves the sight. He gives her a moment, pulling on some shorts and grabs a shirt for her to sleep in.

“Hey, look at me pretty girl,” he coos gently, brushing her hair from her face. She stares at him with tired eyes. “Put this on, use the bathroom and come back to bed.”

Her movements are sluggish as she flips onto her back taking the shirt from him. He helps her pull it over her head and pulls her arms out. She takes his offered hands leading her to the bathroom. He closes the door for her privacy then lays on his bed, the sun has well gone down now but the city lights and moon fill his room with a dim radiance. That fiery red haze is gone but he still feels it in his bones.

Nadia shuffles slowly back to his bed after using the bathroom and he welcomes her into his arms, she snuggles against him as if they’ve been doing this for years instead of the first time. He kisses her hair and she sighs contentedly.

“Now I might be tired for opening night,” she teases and Ashton laughs. “You’ve never done this, have you?”

“Slept with a beautiful woman like you? No, not until now.”

“No—I mean, you’ve never brought someone back here to your own bed. It’s always been in your room at La Belle Vie.”

Ashton sighs. “No, I haven’t. How did you know about that?”

“I know about the Gold Room, why else would you have a bedroom in your office?”

His heart sinks. Does she think she’s just another notch in his belt?

“Nadia, I’ve grown to adore and care for you in a way I’ve never felt towards another person,” he admits, and it feels so good to say it out loud. “You’re very special to me.”

She tilts her head up, her hand finding his cheek in the dim light then drags his mouth to hers for a sweet kiss.

“You’re special to me, too. I’m glad no other woman has been in your bed but me.”

The next night for her opening night as the Lilac Fairy went by without a hitch. All of Ashton’s associates filled the front row seats that he bought with Calum and Asana to his left while Luke and Michael were on his right. His eyes never left Nadia as she danced across the stage. Her name was whispered amongst the people around him and he felt smug that he’s the only one who knows her so intimately.

An hour before the show, Calum told him that Aleks has been keeping a low profile. There haven’t been any purchases on his end or deals that have been scheduled. It left Ashton feeling unsettled because if he knows Aleks, he’s plotting something for sure.

It’s in the background of his mind to set up more eyes on the Rozhkov mansion but Nadia’s performance is on the foreground of his mind. He’s transfixed by her just as last night but the stage lights and the make-up she’s wearing exemplifies her beauty. When the show is over, he plans on taking her to Caesar’s Palace, the most notorious restaurant in the city, after congratulating her in her dressing room on a job well done.

***

Five forty-five on the dot, Nadia breezes into his office with a radiant smile that grows bigger at the sight of the garment bag hanging from his fingers. Ashton grins back welcoming her into his free arm giving her a hello kiss that she deepens, hands roaming over his shoulders and into his hair.

“What’s the matter?” she sighs pulling away feeling how tense he is under her touch. “Did your meeting not go well?”

Ashton clenches his jaw. “It went good and bad, but we have to go to The King’s Club at eight o’clock, Liam’s requested us.”

“Oh, all right,” she shrugs then eyes the dress bag hanging off his fingers. “Can I see my dress?”

“I thought you don’t want to be seen as a sugar baby, angel,” he teases extending his arm away from her grabby fingers. “I can always send it back if you don’t want it.”

“No, please I want to see,” she pouts.

“How about you take it in the bedroom and put it on for me then let me know what you think,” he smiles handing her the bag.

She squeals quietly, snatching the bag the same time she pecks his lips then skirts to his bedroom but keeps the door open. Ashton shakes his head knowing she’s doing that to torment him, but he resists temptation and waits patiently. When he hears her gasp, he knows she’s opened the bag.

“What do you think?” he calls crossing his arms over his chest.

“It’s gorgeous!”

He smiles then continues to wait patiently for her to change and grace him with her presence. It’s not long until she’s strutting out in the tight-fitting iridescent dress. It’s two toned with gold and silver fabric with the gold wrapping asymmetrically over the silver and Nadia looks like a bombshell. The colors contrast beautifully with her tanned skin and the plunging neckline showcases her perfect breasts.

“This is perfect, I love it,” her eyes dance with excitement as she parades in front of him.

“You sure? I didn’t know if this area right here would fit you,” he trails his finger down the middle of her ample cleavage, a smirk ghosts his lips.

“Seems like you didn’t really want it to fit,” she giggles then pulls his arms off his chest. “How can I ever thank you for this?” Her hands move to his belt already undoing the buckle and snatching his zipper, falling to her knees.

“Seems like you already have an idea,” he grins enjoying the view of her breasts even more at this angle.

“Just a little thought,” she shrugs shucking his trousers off his hips. She takes him in her palm, he’s hot and heavy in her hand and she gives the head of his dick the gentlest kiss, but it spurs his member to life. She continues to give him soft, wet kisses, looking up at him with innocent eyes.

Ashton strokes his fingers across her cheek trying to keep his breathing even. “Don’t tease me, angel,” he sighs just as she darts her tongue over his slit. “Fuck, baby.”

He watches her open her mouth, eyes still on him, as she takes him in. Her tongue and lips are soft and warm around him as she swirls her tongue up and over his shaft. She works him over, salivating the more she takes him into her mouth until he hits the back of her throat for the smallest second before she tightens her lips on his shaft and pulls off him with a pop. A string of spit clings to her lips and Ashton is aching to be in her mouth again.

“So pretty like this,” he sighs as she wraps her lips around his head again. This time she sucks him into her mouth as she goes down, slightly gagging as he hits the back of her throat once more before she pulls off again. Ashton threads his fingers in her hair, halting her from moving forward. “Don’t strain yourself for me, okay?”

“I want to make you feel good, sir,” she blinks and Ashton groans. She knows what calling him does that to him.

“You always make me feel good. Don’t hurt yourself, Nadia. Keep going,” he nods.

Nadia smiles excitedly latching her puckered lips over his tip, her hand grasping the base that is now slick with her spit. Her hand and mouth work in tandem, sliding up and down effortlessly slurping as she goes. Ashton steadies his breathing keeping his climax at bay so he can enjoy his Nadia this way. His fingers are still in her hair but he’s giving her full control of the situation.

She takes him all the way to the back of her throat for a third time, her tongue clicking against him. The pulsation has his stomach clenching and he’s so close.

“C’mere,” he says gruffly pulling her off him. He spins her around, so she’s seated at the edge of his desk and hooks her leg over his waist sinking into her swiftly. He fucks into her with quick snaps of his hips, groaning against her neck.

She gasps in time with his thrusts, arms and legs wrapping around him like a vine as he fills her with the utmost pleasure. Ashton bites into her neck, sucking on the warm flesh until she’s screaming his name and they’re coming together. He stills inside her as he releases himself dry and her legs fall limp against the desk.

Ashton hums pulling his mouth from her neck that now has a dark bloom flourishing from his love bite. He cradles her cheeks in his hands, nudges his nose against hers then kisses her with a smile. He pulls out of her slowly, Nadia groaning as he does.

“See? Felt so good,” he sighs, “what do you say?”

“Thank you,” she whispers on his lips, legs trembling from the loss of his girth. He tucks himself back into his pants as she leans against him, still coming down from their shared pleasure.

Ashton makes sure she’s stable against the desk before retrieving a towel from the sink along his wall. He wets it then makes his way over to her again to clean between her legs. He kisses her bare shoulder as he does, her hand rests on his shoulder for balance.

“Good thing you didn’t have panties on,” he commends on the corner of her mouth. He tosses the towel on his desk, rubbing his palm on her inner thigh.

“I planned it,” she smiles.

When their dinner date is over Ashton speeds to The King’s Club, his hand on Nadia’s knee as he drives to the destination. He’s second guessing gifting her with this dress because now all eyes will be on her. He holds her hand as they walk past the black velvet ropes and two bouncers that he recognized from his past. They let him in easily and others inside guided him and Nadia to the second floor where Liam is waiting on a white couch. Veronica is next to him looking bored.

To Ashton’s surprise, Calum and Asana are sitting on chairs beside him. Nadia smiles at them tugging a preserved Ashton over to them, his eyes are on Liam who is smiling widely.

“You made it!” he announces rising from his couch. “Last minute I invited Calum and Asana who just finished informing me that you two had dinner plans. I hope I didn’t cut into that.”

“Just a little,” Ashton responds tersely. Nadia squeezes his hand.

“It’s no trouble,” she speaks up.

Liam steps forward grabbing her elbow and kisses her cheek affectionately in greeting. “I’m glad you could make it. Please, take a seat, take a seat. What would you like to drink?”

When the acquired drinks are served, Ashton watches Liam very closely as he interacts with Nadia. He’s somehow pulled her next to him on the couch with his arm thrown casually behind her shoulders. He’s telling her about how he and Ashton bonded over the loss of their fathers and all the wild things they got into.

Ashton watches on high alert, his drink held carelessly in his fingers. He feels smug when Liam notices the love mark on Nadia’s neck. Calum and Asana’s gazes are set on their boss wondering how he is so calm while Liam is so close to Nadia. Ashton assesses the situation with a tight jaw but Nadia’s constant smiles at him lets him know she’s fine.

Calum and Asana are getting restless. Then when Liam laughs loudly at something Nadia said, his hand falls to her knee, Ashton slams his drink on the glass table.

“I think it’s time for us to use the bathroom,” Asana says grabbing Nadia’s hand. “We’ll be back gentleman.” She throws a look between Ashton and Liam tugging Nadia along.

Ashton gives Asana a look of gratitude and appreciates Nadia’s hand cupping his chin as she walks by. Her simple touch eased his irritation slightly. He knows she’ll be safe with Asana but nods his head to the guards that accompanied him here and they followed the girls. Liam watches the small party leave to the VIP bathroom then moves to sit on the table in front of Ashton. Calum leans forward wanting to be a part of the conversation.

“What are we doing here, Liam?” Ashton asks bored, he wants to get Nadia home and away from Liam.

“I know Aleks wants to get Nadia,” Liam starts. “Veronica found that out for me and I think we should let her take him.”

In a light of blinding rage, Ashton launches at Liam, his fist connecting with flesh as the sound of glasses shatter to the table and floor. Shouts of surprise are heard all around and Calum pulls on Ashton’s shoulders yanking him off before he could do worse damage.

“Not with Nadia here,” Calum hisses and that’s what really stops Ashton. Liam rubs his jaw where Ashton hit him, but he doesn’t seem surprised that he was hit.

“Listen to me,” Liam growls standing close to Ashton. Calum tightens his hold on Ashton’s arms. “I have the best trackers with the best equipment. We give Nadia a tracker and follow her to wherever Aleks is.”

“I don’t want her involved in any of this.”

“What have you been telling her all this time? You’ve been lying to her for how long, Ashton? She needs to know the life she’s wrapped up in and that she’s the key to stop it. I’ve seen the reputation you’ve built here and Aleks has been threatening that since Nadia has come into your life. She needs to know.”

“Tanya knew and look what happened,” Ashton blurts before he really thinks of his words.

Liam’s eyes flash and he rushes at Ashton. They’re both scuffling on the floor of the suite while others try to get the men away from each other. Calum shouts them away though because they need to solve their differences in their own way. There’s so much history and discord between the old friends it needs to be hashed out. He won’t let it get too ugly and he hopes Asana is keeping Nadia occupied in the bathroom while the situation plays out.

After a tiresome ten minutes, Liam and Ashton are left panting on the floor. Their suits are ruffled, their hair tousled, and their knuckles bruised but their five years of hurt and anger have finally come forth.

“Nadia is safer not knowing,” Ashton sighs standing to his feet. He holds his hand out to Liam who takes it as help. “I’m so sorry about what happened to Tanya. I wanted to tell you five years ago but you left before I could even try and help you.”

“I know…but my whole world ended that day. I had to get out. I don’t want that to happen to you.”

“How is letting her get taken going to keep her safe? You know what Aleks wants to do before he sends her off to this anonymous dealer?”

“She will be safe because Veronica is a double agent. She’s been getting into Aleks’ good graces for over a year.”

Veronica appears beside Liam and hands him a napkin to clean the blood from his face. He takes it graciously.

“Then why don’t you lead him to wherever Aleks is?” Ashton asks her. “Why does Nadia need to be the pawn?”

“Aleks is all about his power trip. He has to believe he’s the one in control right now because whoever this anonymous dealer is, has him scared,” Veronica explains. “He’s on a time crunch and if he doesn’t deliver, he’ll be killed. He won’t hurt her because we won’t give him the time to.”

Ashton glances between Liam and Veronica, Calum calls his name. Ashton turns and Calum waves his fingers signaling Ashton to follow him to the railing.

“Excuse me,” Ashton says then meets Calum.

“How can we trust Veronica? Or Liam, actually,” Calum asks glancing at the pair.

“Liam may have left but he’s never lied to me.”

“It’s been five years, Ashton. You of all people should be questioning if he’s not really working for Aleks. For all we know, he could be.”

“Tanya was the whole reason he walked away from this, and if…if Nadia knew what I do, and she asked me to leave…I wouldn’t question it. I’d leave this all behind.”

“So, you’re seriously considering having her taken, just like that?” Calum is baffled at his friend, his boss, giving in so quickly and releasing Nadia to the lion’s den.

“No, not just like that. I want every detail. I know Liam left, but he came back and is offering to help. Family is family, Cal, you know this.”

Calum eyes Liam and Veronica some more than stares at Ashton for a long time. Nadia is going to have a field day at the state he’s in wondering what the hell happened while she was in the bathroom.

“Something doesn’t feel right,” Calum shakes his head surveying the situation.

Then the club cracks into darkness and a deafening silence, screams echo throughout the building and Ashton quickly races blindly to the bathrooms. Any sign of trouble and his mind reverts to Nadia. He stumbles with Calum and Liam trying to find their way blindly. The sound of two gunshots and more screams fill the air then he hears Asana’s voice calling for Nadia. Ashton panics, his heart racing.

The three men skid to a stop as the lights power back on, the club fills with the loud bassline as he looks in front of him. Asana is on the floor with a cut on her cheek, Calum is quick to aid her by standing up. He touches her cut cheek delicately.

“What happened?” Ashton asks. “Where’s Nadia?”

“We were coming back out; I was hit and fell to the floor just as the lights went out. I heard Nadia struggling then two shots…” Asana shakes her head looking in the direction Nadia must have left in.

“Veronica—”

“He knows. He knows I knew his plan and he executed it early,” Veronica gasps. “Liam, I swear he told me in confidence it was supposed to be on her opening night.”

“Where is she?” Ashton demands, his fingers shaking because his Nadia was taken right from under his nose.

***

It took Veronica a few hours to pinpoint exactly where Aleks was which resulted in giving him a few hours head start to run with Nadia. Asana didn’t know if the gunshots meant Nadia was harmed or not and it left Ashton uneasy not knowing. She could be hurt or dying and he’s not with her to help.

Aleks took her to Spain which is where Ashton is now killing the few men keeping guard outside an elaborate mansion. He races inside with Veronica’s voice in his ear telling him where to go.

On his way, he takes out more men until he’s in the elevator descending into the basement. He made sure Asana and Calum stayed outside for visuals and had an ambulance and the police on standby. The basement is dimly lit with shelves along the walls filled with bottles of wine. The guards standing inside didn’t even approach him as he stepped inside, they simply watched him pass by.

“You’re right on him, Ashton,” Veronica says in his ear but Aleks isn’t in sight.

“You’ve always been too trusting, Ashton. I knew it would be your downfall.”

Ashton stops dead in his tracks. Stepping into the light from behind a large wine barrel, is his father, Frank Irwin. He smiles cynically.

“Hello, son.”

“What the hell are you doing here? Where’s Aleks?” Ashton is baffled to be looking at his father who left him nearly eight years ago. His hair has thinned and has a few more wrinkles on his face.

“With Nadia, I’m assuming. He was meant to bring her to me like we agreed,” Frank responds moving in front of the barrel. He folds his hands in front of his stomach, Ashton can see the family crest ring is still on his finger.

“It’s you? You’re the anonymous dealer?” Ashton feels like he’s going to throw up from this information.

“Yes, and Nadia is very lovely, isn’t she?”

“Where the hell is she?” Ashton is shouting now advancing to his father. The guards in the room step forward but Frank holds up his hands.

“It’s all right, gentleman. I need to explain to my son here how Nadia is teaching him to be the best boss. Nadia, dear, please come out.”

In horror, Ashton sees Nadia stumble from a closet or room of some sort. In the short amount of time they’ve been apart, her hair has been chopped off to just below her chin. Her beautiful hair that she’s always cherished, and he’s ran his fingers through so many times, is gone. Her face is pale with chapped lips, bruises and cuts are scattered all over her body as the dress he bought her is ripped.

He’s torn between his love and the need to protect her and his anger in realizing she’s been working with his father. His anger wills out and roars inside him.

“Ashton…” she sniffs, tears spilling over her cheeks. “What—”

“Is it true?” he interrupts, voice shaking. “You’ve been working with my father to get to me?”

“What? Ashton, I don’t know who he is—”

“He’s right there!” Ashton shouts pointing to his father. Nadia jumps. “You’ve been fucking with me this whole time under his order, haven’t you? Tell me the truth, Nadia.” He advances towards her, his voice dangerous, and Nadia is visibly shaking at his outburst. He’s never spoken to her like this before.

“Ash…please, believe me. I love you; I would never hurt you and I’ve never met him before in my life.” She’s sobbing, reaching for him but then gasps as a loud bang echoes, and she’s clutching her stomach. Beneath her hands, red blooms in the fabric of her dress.

As if in slow motion, Ashton turns to see Aleks with his gun poised at her from another doorway. Then Liam appears in the elevator and kills Aleks quickly. He’s finally avenged Tanya and his unborn child. Aleks is dead before he hits the ground then the guards jump into action. Ashton and Liam are quick to fend them off, either by injuring them or using their guns until they’re all slumped to the ground.

“Asht—”

Ashton turns around from his most recent casualty in time to see Nadia collapse in a small heap. Frank is laughing behind her.

“She’s right, son. We’ve never met but I arranged for you two to meet. I’ve been a guiding voice in the now late Aleks Rozhkov’s head to egg you on to be a better boss. I thought the continuous chase of her wanting to be taken would flip a switch in you.”

Ashton’s mind is racing with questions and doubts.

“Ash…” Nadia whispers from the floor. Her warm brown eyes are half-lidded as she stares up at him. “Please, I love—”

He knelt beside her immediately because his need to protect her is stronger than his doubts. He helps apply pressure to her wound, and through her blood, he sees the two small condor tattoos on the outside of her wrist, and he’s transported to another time.

“I love this tattoo of yours,” Nadia told him as her fingers daintily traced over the dark ink on his neck. He was in his study at home writing figures down on a pad of paper. “I read that condors mate for life.”

“Is that so?” he asked and pulled her onto his lap. That’s when he noticed the all too familiar looking bandage on her wrist. “What’s this?”

“I got my own birds on me,” she smiled. “I love you, Ashton and I wanted to match this one you have.”

“If I’m a condor bird, then you’re a condor bird, huh?” he grinned taking her hand in his delicately.

“Something like that,” she giggled. “Take it off so you can see.”

Ashton carefully peeled the tape and gauze from her wrist to reveal two birds in flight. One is larger than the other which he’s assuming is meant to be him, and he’s so enamored by the gesture.

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s perfect,” he nodded then met her brown eyes. “I love you, so much. You are my soulmate, Nadia.”

He’s kissed those small birds so many times since then and he feels downright idiotic and gullible to believe that she would double cross him. He is too trusting, and he was much too trusting of his father who was never trustworthy in the first place. His trust really is his downfall and it might cost his whole world.

He knows Nadia would never hurt him, and these two birds are proof of that whereas his father has been hurting him his whole life. Nadia’s eyes begin to close and Ashton panics.

“Liam!”

Liam runs to him quickly, sliding on the floor and int the small pool of blood that’s coming from Nadia.

“Shit,” Liam mutters.

“Get her upstairs and to Asana. I’m going to deal with my father.”

Liam rips off the sleeve of his shirt pressing it into the wound. Nadia grunts at the pain trying to keep her eyes open. Ashton touches her cheek the best he can without smearing her own blood on her face.

“I’m sor—”

“Shh, shh, you’re going to be okay. Liam’s going to help and make you better, okay? I’ll see you soon, stay awake for me.”

Liam lifts her carefully into his arms, murmuring a soft “I’ve got you love.” He gives Ashton a look before leaving the basement quickly and then it’s just Ashton and his father.

“How could you do this to me? Is this some kind of sick training session you’ve been instigating for the last eight years?” Ashton asks.

“I’ll admit, I did leave because I would have been stuck in jail well past my dying days. Then I wanted to use this opportunity to build you up to be the best boss there could be. I kept tabs on you, Ashton. You were doing everything right from partying, having women but you were lacking in one major role: being a boss. My leaving was really a chance for you to be great.”

“You left to save yourself. When you were around it was never a family. We protect our own and after you left we finally became a real family,” Ashton says.

“You’ve befriended the authorities and other families that we’ve always held an animosity with. They should all be beneath you.”

“No, we’re equals. I’ve helped with other dangerous mobs in the area and we keep the cities safe instead of stealing from it.”

“You’re abusing your power.”

“I’m utilizing it. There’s a big difference. You’ve hurt a lot of people Frank, me especially and you won’t do that anymore. Your little puppet, Aleks, is now dead and we’ll take down the rest of his Snatchers and whoever else follows him. But your time is over,” Ashton says reaching for his gun.

Frank laughs again.

“Is all of this really because of that girl? You can have hundreds of women, son, that’s the glory of being in this business! You take what you want when you want it.”

“No, that’s not how this business works. It may have been for you, but not me. I won’t leave my men or women behind. I have their back and they have mine.” Ashton raises his gun and clicks it; it’s aimed right at Frank’s head.

“I can keep teaching you to be better, how to be feared. You’ll really kill your own father?”

“I never had a father.”

He pulls the trigger and Ashton turns not even willing to spare his father another glance. He knows he’s dead, he has an excellent kill shot but he couldn’t look at the man who’s hurt him for so many years. He trudges to the elevator, eyes glued to the blood smear on the button as he ascends up. Ashton thought it hurt when he left but the fact that he used Nadia to try and hurt him? Nadia, the one person who loves him so completely and….

Ashton slams his palm against the elevator wall in anger. She’s been loving a liar this whole time because he’s kept so many secrets from her. Her blood on his hands is the last he’ll ever have, it’s because of him she’s hurt when he’s fought so long to prevent that from happening.

His mind is still reeling as he steps outside of the house in the blazing sun. An ambulance is parked near the cars he and the rest travelled in. Police sirens are heard from the distance, but Ashton needs to see Nadia. He finds her in the back of the ambulance with an EMT working on her wound and Asana holding her hand. There’s an oxygen mask over her mouth but she’s more alert, her hand slips from Asana’s and she reaches for him, eyes wide.

Ashton and Asana switch places quickly, he kisses Nadia’s hand fiercely, keeping it pressed to his lips.

“I’m so sorry, Nadia. This is all my fault, but no one will hurt you now. I swear it. It’s time I’ve come clean to you,” he confesses.

She winces as the EMT continues to stitch her up, her lips move beneath the mask, but he doesn’t hear her words.

“What?”

“She already knows, Ash,” Asana says from the doors of the ambulance. Nadia nods at him.

“She knows? How?”

“She figured it out months ago. The Sheriff stopped by when she was home alone once and wanted her to relay a message of thanks to you for taking out the LeBlanc’s. Hotchkiss assumed she knew everything and kept talking, giving her all the information she needed,” Asana continues to explain but he’s watching Nadia as if she’s speaking. Her eyes are soft at her admittance through Asana.

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew?” he asks, and Nadia pulls the mask down slightly so she could speak.

“Because all you’ve ever done is protect me and part of that was not telling me what you do. I was protecting your secret just the same because I love you.” Her voice is soft and quiet.

“And Asana knew this whole time?” he asks bleakly but his smile is of relief.

“She filled in the gaps. I made her swear not to tell,” Nadia whispers.

“I’m sorry I kept these secrets from you.”

“I know, but it’s okay,” she sighs falling deeper into her pillow.

“We are going to transport to the hospital,” the EMT says, “she needs rest.”

Ashton nods then turns to Asana but doesn’t quite know what to say.

“We’ll meet you there and take care of everything else here,” Asana nods. “You take care of her, boss man.”

The doors close and the ambulance rocks as it starts to move. Ashton presses his lips to the birds on Nadia’s wrist, she cups his cheek as tightly as she can. His world fell apart and has been restored by having her in his life.

“I love you so much, angel,” he whispers squeezing her hand. In her eyes she sees the same love reflected back. Their past, present and future are held between their gazes. “You’ve always been the beauty to my madness.”

• • • •

Copyright talkfastromance4 © All works is intellectual property of the author. All rights reserved. Any redistribution or reproduction or any part or all contents in any form is prohibited. You may not, without written expression and consent from the author, distribute works amongst other social media platforms

Taglist: @galcalirwin @cashtonasff5sos @thecurlsofgod @myloverboyash @rotten-kandy @tea4sykes @jannimoeller3 @loveroflrh @iovehemmings @cxddlyash @princesslrh @here-for-the-uproars @katiaw2 @g-l-pierce @fairyintheglass @gosh-im-short @banditocth @dezzym17 @koalacal @lukeisbaby @spicycal @mysticalhood @notinthesameguey @wastedheartcth @atlcalm @itjustkindahappenedreally @calumance @babylon-corgis @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @lanternlover2 @istaywithmyjonas @calteahood @sarcastically-defensive17 @another-lonely-heart @devilatmydoor @frontmanash @philthepegacorn @mantlereid @lukedorkyhemmings @addietagglikesbands @kikixfandoms @sanrioluke @mayve-hems @morguelth @haikucal @thatscooibaby @meghanrose05 @idontneedanyone @dinosaursandsocks @cassie-sos @suchalonelysunflower @burstintocolor @zhangyixingxing1 @dead-and-golden @mymindwide @everyscarisahealingplace @stardust-galaxies @blackbutterfliescal @redrattlers @lovelybonesetc @karajaynetoday

**if your url has a strike through it’s because your blog didn’t show up as a tag! :(

[kindofcashton]

𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕕  •  chapter 12  (Calum Hood AU)

SUNLIGHT GREETED ME when I fluttered my eyes open the next morning.  The curtains were open and bright light was streaming into the room, causing me to squint against the rays.  It must have been pretty late in the morning if it was this bright out.

Still groggy with sleep, I shifted my position and bumped into something warm and soft next to me.  Frowning as I leaned up, the memories of last night suddenly flashed through my mind and I remembered what had happened.  Or better yet, who had happened.

Calum’s lips, his hands, his voice, his touch.  It had all been real, despite feeling like a dream.  He had really kissed me like his whole life depended on it, and I had really invited him in to spend the night because I couldn’t bear the thought of watching him leave.

I propped up an elbow to lean on my hand, gazing at the man in bed next to me.  He was flat on his stomach, one arm hooked around me and the other bent by his head.  His long, thick lashes were closed in peaceful slumber, and I watched his back rise and fall with equal breaths.  I reached out my fingers hesitantly, not wanting to wake him up.  Gingerly, I moved a few curls off of his face and couldn’t help the small smile that came to my lips.  Weirdly enough, I had no thoughts running through my mind.  No worries, no fears, no concrete opinions.  I just felt tranquil, and it was all thanks to the boy in bed with me.

Despite my gentle actions, Calum began to stir.  He inhaled deeply, nose buried in the pillow as his eyes slowly peered over at me.  For a brief second he didn’t seem to recognize me, but then a tired grin stretched across his mouth.  He closed his eyes and sighed, mumbling, “Morning.”

I let my fingers drift down from his curls to his back, sliding across the smooth skin lazily.  He hummed in appreciation, and my heart soared at the sound.  “I think we overslept,” I whispered.  “It’s almost noon.”

Calum finally opened his eyes fully, and flipped onto his back to stretch.  I admired his sun-kissed muscles, lean and tone as he arched his spine.  My lips pursed as he sat up, the covers falling away from him and causing a billow of cooler air to invade our pleasant bubble.  He rubbed at his face, yawning.  I picked at the corner of a pillow, feeling the tranquil mood ebbing with each passing second.

He glanced down at me, and his crooked smile made me feel a little better.  “You think anybody noticed I wasn’t in my room?”  I pushed at his thigh, chuckling as I laid back on the mattress.  I was still exhausted, and wasn’t quite ready to leave our serene little set up.

But Calum clearly didn’t feel the same way.  He swung his legs over the side of the bed to stand up, leaving me disappointed and absent of his touch.  He hadn’t kissed me good morning, which I guess was fine.  After all, the heated make out last night had been more than okay.  But I sort of wanted him to show some sort of affection, which I knew wasn’t going to come now.

“Should we leave separately?” he asked, and I bit my lip, sliding up to lean against the headrest.  My nod was short, and I didn’t watch him leave in fear it would truly ruin the last of my good mood.

You’re expectations were way too high, I scolded myself as I got out of bed.  I changed into leggings and a sweatshirt as I tried to squash the disappointment slowly building inside.  I had no reason to expect anything more from Calum, and if anything I should have felt satisfied.  He’d opened up so much to me at the park, and then kissed me in a way that made me see stars.  Spending the night in my bed was a cherry on top, and so I shouldn’t have felt anything other than elated this morning.

Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I inspected the subtle dark circles under my green eyes and the way my reddish brown hair appeared tousled.  Calum had made out with this? I thought, grimacing at how exhausted I looked.  I should’ve gotten the best sleep of my life last night, but for some reason I felt more tired than ever.

Since it was so late we’d missed breakfast, I thought everyone would have already left for the day.  But as I stepped into the hallway and began to trod down the stairs, I heard the unmistakable voices of Ashton and Hannah yelling.  What now?  When had he come back?

“I don’t know why you’re yelling at me, I just came over to see my friends.”  This was Ashton, his tone cold and dripping with malice, like he was mocking Hannah.  I could see the frustration boiling off of her as I approached the living room, spotting Luke, Michael, and Calum sitting together like prisoners as they watched their friends fight.

“Because you won’t even talk to me!  I’m trying to make things better and you’re just trying to hang with your boys!”  Hannah was gesturing madly, the way she did when she was really angry.  Ashton’s expression was blank, and I could just imagine how frustrated this made her.

“I don’t feel like making things better when you’re lying all the time,” he retorted.  “I’d rather spend my time with people who don’t bullshit me for weeks.”

Hannah let out a scratchy laugh, raking her fingers through her hair.  “Do you hear yourself right now?  You’re such an immature child you can’t even try to make things work with a mature conversation.”

Something about this set Ashton off, and his voice got louder and harsher.  “Oh, I’m the immature child?  You’re the one who flunked out of school and lied about it!  You really think you’re the adult here?”

The whole room went dead silent; my jaw dropped, and I suppressed a gasp.  Even I felt how much that blow hurt Hannah, who visibly stumbled back away from the boy who was supposed to love her.  I couldn’t see her face from where I was standing, but I knew she was devastated.

Hannah’s hands balled into fists.  “So that’s how it is,” she uttered, her voice weak.  “I’m just too stupid for you to want to fix this.”

Ashton sighed loudly, as if his patience with her was wearing thin.  “Is that so crazy?  I mean, come on, tell me.”  He gestured to the guys for their opinion.  “Why should I put up with her bullshit?”

They said nothing.  Luke shifted uncomfortably, and Michael looked at the floor.  Calum’s face was unreadable as he watched the fight unfold.  After seeing their lack of response, Ashton turned to me.  “What about you, huh?  You’re also a liar, so maybe you understand Hannah better than the rest of us.”

I winced at his accusation, knowing it was true but shocked at how much it hurt.  My eyes shifted to Calum for a heartbeat, and maybe I imagined it, but I thought I saw him tense at Ashton’s scathing words.  Taking a deep breath, I stood my ground.  “I think Hannah was in an impossible situation.  I think she’s human, and she reacted the only way she knew how.”

Ashton shook his head.  “No, that’s no excuse.  People shouldn’t be allowed to lie because it’s the easy way out.”  His eyes were steely as he regarded me cruelly.  “You’re part of this problem, you know.  You’re a fucking liar too, and you let her lie to all of us.  This is your fault too.”

I felt all of the oxygen leave my lungs, and Hannah let out a cry of surprise.  Calum shot up from the couch, and pushed passed Ashton with a shove of his shoulder. 

“Figure your shit out,” he snapped at his best friend, glancing to Hannah next.  “Stop getting everyone else fucking wrapped up in it.”  He stalked over to me and grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the line of fire and then out the front door.

“Calum--” I started, head whirling and heart pounding.  I’d never had someone be that mad at me before, and thinking of Ashton’s expression made me feel sick.  Calum ignored my plea as he got into his car and fired up the ignition.  I decided I should just go along with him, as anything would be better than staying to witness more fighting.

We drove for a long time.  I didn’t know where the hell we were going, and I didn’t really care.  I curled up in the passenger seat and leaned against the window, shutting my eyes in an attempt to shut out the world.  Calum’s knuckles were white on the steering wheel as he gripped it tightly, eyes glued to the road as we drove for miles down a highway.  The radio was off, for which I was grateful.  I just needed to breathe and collect my strength.  

Eventually he pulled off onto a quieter road and we stopped at a diner.  It was fairly run-down and crowded with truckers taking a break from a long haul, but I didn’t care.  We didn’t say much to each other, speaking only to order sodas and two grilled cheeses.  When the food came we had a good excuse to be quiet, and I ate my sandwich slowly in order to prolong it.  I didn’t want to get my hopes up about how Calum had practically jumped to my defense once Ashton got mean, how he grabbed my hand and took me far away from the pain in that living room.

When I’d eaten half my sandwich, I leaned back in the booth and looked through the window outside.  Cars whizzed by on the highway, and I watched them for what felt like years.  And then I turned back to Calum, meeting his eyes as he too paused in eating.  I guess we do need to talk.

My hands fidgeted on the tabletop, and I bit my lip before speaking.  “Do you think I’m a liar too?” I asked plainly, not beating around the bush.  I wanted to know if more people agreed with Ashton, that this whole mess was also my fault.

He toyed with the straw of his soda, clearly uncomfortable himself.  “Well, you did lie.  That makes you a liar.”  He sounded matter-of-fact, just stating the truth.  I guess I couldn’t hold this against him.

“But...do you understand why?  I lied for a reason--we lied for a reason.”

Calum shrugged.  “Yeah, but was it a good reason?”  I frowned at his rebuttal, but he continued.  “Shouldn’t you have trusted Ashton to be there for her?  After all, the two of them are in a relationship.  Relationships are about transparency and trust, right?” 

The way he was reflecting the question back onto me made me shift in my seat.  Hearing him talk about relationships made my skin hot, as I truly had no idea what to say.  Hannah thought she was doing the right thing, and my job as her best friend was to support her.  Besides, I didn’t know Ashton at the time, so I had no idea what kind of guy he was or if he’d be able to support Hannah through a hard time.

I picked at my grilled cheese crust, avoiding Calum’s expectant eyes.  “It’s just so infuriating.  All they need to do is talk to each other, figure out what the real issue is.  She lied because she felt embarrassed, but where did that embarrassment come from?  Obviously the relationship had flaws before all of this, so of course something big would blow it up.  I just--Ashton should be open to having a conversation about where it all went wrong, get to the root of the problem.  Yelling and being pissed won’t solve anything, if they’d just try to fix--”

“Are you hearing yourself right now?” Calum interrupted suddenly.  He sounded incredulous, and was looking at me like I had five heads.  “Why are you psychoanalyzing every little detail of their relationship?  It’s not your responsibility to fix them.”

I frowned.  “Yeah, but I want to help--”

“Why?  Why are you so goddamned obsessed with fixing people’s problems?”  Something told me he’d wanted to ask me this long before today, but the opportunity had only just arisen.  I swallowed a lump in the back of my throat, worried about how tense we’d both gotten.

“You’ve seen all my psych books,” I reminded him.  “Why do you think I’m studying them?  I was going to school to try to become a social worker, or a counselor.  I want to help people, I like helping people.”

He snorted, making me flinch.  “A social worker.”  Calum sounded so angry all of a sudden, his usual smirk replaced with a deep scowl.  “You know those people are goddamn useless, right?”

I felt like a weak little girl trying to stand up to a big bad bully.  “N-no, I don’t.  I think they’re important, they help people.  They help families when things are tough.  It’s a noble profession.”  I was almost self-conscious of telling him about my future career plans; they meant a lot to me, and were still what I strove to achieve every day.

Calum just shook his head.  “They don’t do shit for people, Scarlett.”

If I was self-conscious before, now I was just plain angry.  “Who are you to judge them, Calum?  You know, maybe you’ve got a problem yourself.  You’re so freaking closed off it’s infuriating.”

His fist slammed on the table, making our plates clank.  I flushed, feeling the stares of other diners on us.  But Calum didn’t care as he sent me a seething glare.  “You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about, so shut up.”  His voice was icy, but it only fueled my fire.

“No!  Don’t tell me to shut up!  I said something you didn’t want to hear and now you’re denying it so you don’t have to deal with it!”  Classic defense mechanism, I thought, but knew that if I said that he’d really lose it.

Calum let out a heaving sigh, clearly worked up and trying to contain his fury.  Normally I’d be scared of his anger, but now all I wanted was to confront it.  He looked at me without saying anything for a while, but I didn’t back down.  I faced him with my own glare, thinking about how the boy I’d slept next to was nowhere to be found.  How had those lips, set so low in a scowl right now, kissed me so deeply last night?  

I thought he wasn’t going to say anything else, he was quiet for so long.  But then he began shredding his napkin, and I knew something big was coming.  “Didn’t you notice how I didn’t mention my father yesterday?  That I only talked about my mom?”

I nodded, holding my breath.

“That’s because my father was a piece of shit who left us when I was five.  Just got up and left one day, never came back.  Made my mom about lose her fucking mind, to the point where she couldn’t take it anymore.  She was so distraught and desperate to find him, she told me to get in the car one day and we just drove.  For days, we drove to look for him.  We lived in the fucking car, slept in it and ate cheap food in the backseat.  And we never even found the bastard.  Of course, the fucking authorities found out and had a field day.  They claimed my mother was endangering a minor and wanted to take me away from her.  It was the social workers who blamed her for being irresponsible, who didn’t take into consideration that she was heartbroken.  The man who was supposed to be with her through sickness and fucking health had abandoned her.  How are you supposed to just get over something like that?”

As his words sank in, pain blossomed in my chest.  Pain for this damaged, angry boy who had to watch his mother fall apart at too young an age.  Who had to take care of her when it was her job to take care of him.  No wonder they barely spoke now; his face probably haunted her, reminding her of the man who left her.

Tears pinched at my eyes, as Calum finished his story hoarsely.  “In the end, my father leaving was the best fucking thing to ever happen to her.  She met a new guy, got married, started a happy little family with him.  She’s fine now, and I’m just the screwed up kid who no one wants around because I remind them all of him, and what he did to us.”  In a flash of anger, Calum threw money on the table to pay for our food and stormed out of the restaurant.  

Stunned, I stayed at the table for a few seconds just to breathe.  And then I stumbled out of the door myself, into the windy afternoon air.

He was leaning against the side of his car, hands shoved in his pockets as his stony eyes watched the horizon.  I walked up to him slowly, not wanting to startle him.  Like he was a wounded animal and one wrong move would send him running in the opposite direction, when all I wanted was to be close to him.

I stopped next to him, and leaned back to match his posture.  My shoulder just brushed his arm, a subtle show of solidarity.  I wondered if speaking was the right idea, if this moment needed any explanation.  I gave it a few minutes, letting as much of his anger seep out as possible.

Turning to face him, I pulled my lips into my mouth and contemplated which words to use.  I needed him to know how I felt, but suddenly I had no idea what to say, or how to say it.  Sighing, I finally decided.  “Calum...”  Just saying his name made a stab of pain hit my heart.  “I’ll never be able to understand what you went through.  I can try, but it’ll never be enough.  It kills me that you have to feel this way alone, but I’m telling you...”  I harnessed all of my strength in this moment, and stood tall.  “I want to make a change in this world.  I want to help kids like you, who felt alone and stranded and like the whole world was against them.  I want to heal families, not tear them apart.  I know I overthink things and meddle and try to fix everyone, but I swear I do it because I care.  Because I care about you.”

He didn’t react, which would usually discourage me.  But in this moment I had nothing to lose, so to prove my point I reached up and pulled his head closer to mine, and I kissed him.

Calum’s body tensed in surprise, but in a few seconds he relaxed into the kiss.  His arms wrapped around my body in a tight embrace, and I looped my hands around his neck to bring him closer.  The kiss wasn’t deep, and it wasn’t going anywhere, but more emotions were spilling out of us than ever before.  With every shift of my lips I wanted him to feel how much I cared, how much I needed him to know I was here for him.  

My body tingled lightly with his soothing touch, his hands grazing up and down my back.  I held his face in my hands, leaning back to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.  His eyes stayed closed, lashes fluttering as I finally pulled away, keeping our foreheads pressed together.  We breathed together, and even though he said nothing I felt the relief and gratitude pouring out of him as he held me, and it was all I needed.

The drive back felt like five minutes.  I wished it felt longer, so Calum and I could bask in this glow for infinity.  The way our bodies just fit together felt so right, and all I wanted was to take that kiss even further.  But we knew the reality of our situation, and so when we walked back into the house we mentioned nothing of our afternoon together.

Ashton was gone, and Hannah was downstairs.  Luke and Michael looked thoroughly confused when they saw us come in, and I could tell they had a million questions for us.

“What’s up with you two lately?” Luke questioned, making me panic.  What did Calum think about it?  What should we tell them?  What even was up with us?

But Calum looked more relaxed than ever as he flopped onto the sofa, switching on the TV.  “Nothing,” he replied nonchalantly.  “Just didn’t feel like listening to all the yelling.”

As I tried to ignore how much his simple nothing hurt, Michael sighed from the kitchen.  “Tell me about it, man.  Shit’s crazy around here.”

I couldn’t stomach the idea of listening to their stupid bro talk, too hurt by Calum’s unaffected attitude to stick around.  So I trudged down the stairs to meet Hannah, and what I saw surprised me.  She was all dressed up and ready to go, with a skin tight dress and heels that had only one destination.  When she saw me she grinned and threw a dress at me, along with a pair of heels.

Before I could say anything, she interrupted.  “Don’t object, don’t complain, just do it.  I need to go out, and I need you to go out with me.  Getting drunk is more fun with you, anyway.”  

I didn’t have the heart to say no to her.  So in a matter of minutes I had changed, swiped on some makeup, and put my hair up in a somewhat acceptable style.  I wasn’t really thinking about what I was doing, other than that Hannah needed me.  So when we went upstairs to say goodbye to the guys, I was surprised to see Calum’s expression turn from uncaring to almost angry.

He followed us to the front door, and spoke in a low tone so the guys couldn’t hear.  “Where the hell are you going?” he hissed, studying my face as I struggled to come up with an answer.  Hannah didn’t wait for me as she went out to see if the uber had arrived, and I rubbed my arm awkwardly.

“She isn’t feeling great, and so we thought we’d try to have fun...”  I realized how stupid it sounded, and I also realized how much I wanted to stay here with Calum.  His eyebrows raised disbelievingly at my reply, before he wiped all emotion from his face and backed up.

“Fine, do what you want,” he spat.  I ignored the pang of regret in my heart as I watched him storm away, waiting until he disappeared into the living room before stepping outside

[irwinkitten]

eye of the storm | a.i

notes: so i originally wrote this last year along with teulu when my great aunt passed away. i had so much grief and i didn’t know how to process or handle it. however, i’ve been looking though old pieces and reworking them, and this beauty came alive, so i decided to share it. enjoy. it is an ashton x oc  warnings: mentions of death word count: 4.2k

buy me a ko-fi (or lunch), please?

-

Ashton could see the group debating on whether to stick around for more drinks or if they should get food. The debate was settled when they realised that they needed something to tide them over the next few hours so they wouldn’t be drinking on empty stomachs.

As they headed out, reaching the first turn on a block, that was when he noticed her.

Her shoulders were hunched over, and when Ashton glanced behind her, he could see why. Without hesitating, he paused, making sure to keep his eyes on her, Calum only pausing a second later when he yelled;

“Hey sweetheart! We’ve been looking all over for you!” Her head snapped up and he was glad he called out. The relief that flooded her features made his heart ache for her, wondering how long she’d been by herself with the group of three men trailing behind her.

He beckoned her over, holding his hand out towards her and she hesitated for a second before rushing towards the invitation, her hand slipping in his. He pulled her into his side, an arm slipping around her shoulders as she tucked herself into his side and he dropped his head to her ear.

“Are you okay?” 

She shook her head minutely.

“Aw man, you getting that piece of ass?” Ashton lifted his head, his features morphing into a scowl. 

“Back the fuck off. If I find out you hurt my girl in any way I’m not afraid to get the cops involved.” The three exchanged wary looks before raising their hands in a surrender before disappearing the way that they’d come.

His own group had only paused a few paces ahead, watched the entire thing fold out. It was only once the other three had gone, he began to pull the unknown girl towards the group.

“We’re getting food and you’re joining us, sweetheart.” His tone held no arguments, but judging from the trembling body, she wasn’t about to argue the offer of comfort and company. He pulled her towards the group and the dynamics changed quickly.

Sierra and Crystal stepped from their partners holds and offered their hands to the new comer who took them gratefully. Both girls looped their arms through the newcomers arms and asked for her name.

Luna.

They asked easy questions about her likes and dislikes until they reached the closest fast food joint and ducked inside. The rest of the group followed, ordering varieties so it could be picked at between the eight of them, nine including Luna.

The two girls pulled the third into the bathrooms and it was only ten minutes after food had been made and collected did they come back to the group, Luna’s face clean of any makeup, the redness around her eyes indicating the tears. Ashton patted the open spot next to him and she perched on the seat shyly until he put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

“We’ve got you, don’t worry.” His reassurance relaxed her as Calum pushed some food towards her and she smiled gratefully.

They learned she’d just moved over from Britain, that her friend had decided to ditch her early and she’d gotten lost. They had been the first group of people who had helped her, other individuals seemingly walked past her and ignored the group of three that had been trailing her, yelling what they’d do to her.

There was a tremble in her voice, but she pulled in a sharp breath and continued to talk about where she’d moved to, and Ashton realised with a jolt that she was describing the park that was not too far from his place.

That was when he learned she was his new neighbour. 

The night continued, with Luna joining them, drinking and laughing, telling bad jokes that had Ashton snorting his beer and Calum letting out such a laugh that it triggered off the rest of the group.

When they made their way back to his, his being the closest, Ashton walked Luna to her door, making sure she was okay and she thanked him. They exchanged numbers before she headed in and he went to his own home, the rest of the group still up and chatting away.

The following morning, he woke to a text.

‘There’s a thank you breakfast waiting for you guys. You’re more than welcome to come on over.’ And glancing at the time, Ashton knew the others wouldn’t be rousing for another hour and there was no point in even trying to get them to wake up, not even for food.

So he changed into some basketball shorts, pulling on a vest top and tucking his arms into a hoodie as he made his way next door. The morning may have been sunny, but the air was bitter and cold.

He knocked on the door and it opened to find her in her own basketball shorts, a tank top with button down left open, her hair pulled away from her face as she pushed her glasses up her nose and beamed at him.

“Morning, food is still cooking but come on in.” She stepped back and he stepped inside, his lips pulled back into a soft grin as he stepped in.

“Morning. The others will probably be around in another hour or so. Nothing can wake them up at this time, not even the promise of food and coffee.” She laughed. He thought it sounded beautiful.

He joined her in the kitchen, watching as she moved around the kitchen, a soft playlist chiming through as he looked around the room. There were boxes still stacked up around the place.

“So how long have you been here? I noticed the moving vans a couple of days ago.” The question was soft and she smiled gently at him.

“I’ve been here ‘bout a week. Listened to my mum’s advice. Stock the kitchen and then work your way from there. Kitchen is the most important room in the house, because you have your stove for warmth and food to share.” She grinned and it felt infectious, his lips curving up into his own grin.

“A good philosophy to live by.”

“It makes her a great woman. I wanted to keep that going.” He chuckled as he moved from his spot at the bar and stood next to her.

“Okay great chef, what would you like my help with? If you’re cooking for all of us, it’s not fair that I just sit and do nothing.” 

She eyed him carefully before pushing the sleeves of the shirt up to her elbows, his eyes flickering to the array of tattoos that lay on her skin before she handed him a wooden spoon.

“Scramble the eggs, but don’t burn them.” There was a playful glint in her eyes and he laughed as he began to scramble the egg mixture in the pan.

“So what prompted your move over here?”

“I never wanted to stay in England. A relative passed away and left me a good amount of money, which only grew when her properties sold. And even with how... unbalanced the government is at the moment, I still have better job opportunities over here. I know I’ll miss the free healthcare though.” Ashton snorted at that, scrambling the eggs carefully.

“Did you find out where your friend went to last night?” At this, a scoff escaped her lips.

“They decided that they didn’t want to be around the British chick who was gaining a lot of attention. People were getting weird over my accent but they then decided that they were gonna hightail it out of there and just left me. I’m not talking to ‘em at the moment.” She flipped the bacon and Ashton pulled a face.

“Sucks for them, but better news for us. We made a new friend and we get breakfast.” She giggled as they cooked and began to dish up their own plates, making sure to keep the food warm.

“How much longer till they decide to move?” She questioned as she sat at the breakfast bar.

Ashton felt himself grinning as he checked his phone, realising that indeed an hour had easily gone by.

“I’ll send a text to the group chat. I’m gonna bet less than ten minutes.” 

“First person will be over in less than five.” She countered with a grin and he raised an eyebrow.

“Before they arrive, what are we betting on?” 

“If you win? Cooked breakfast for the next week.” He took a bite of the food and immediately agreed to those terms.

“If you win, I’m taking you out and showing you LA properly. Not just the nightlife.” She shrugged.

“If I get swept up by your lifestyle, there will be hell to pay.” She warned him playfully and he grinned as he set his phone on the table. She pulled out hers and clicked on the stopwatch.

“Ready?” He typed out the message.

‘Cute new neighbour has cooked us breakfast as a thank you. I’m going to eat it all if you don’t get over here.’ 

“Set...” His finger hovered over the send button.

Once he hit it and the blue line indicated it had sent he nodded.

“Go.” She hit the timer on the stopwatch.

Both of them were watching the timer creep closer to five and just as it hit four minutes and fifty seconds, there was a knock on her door and she laughed as she paused the stopwatch, making him groan whilst she went to answer the door, a wide grin on her lips.

Calum followed behind her, slightly confused at the joyful greeting he received before he clocked their phones out on the table and noticed the stopwatch. He snorted as he put two and two together whilst she set coffee in front of him.

“You made a bet? You know when it’s food, either it’s going to be me or Mike.” She beamed at him.

“And because you helped me win the bet, you’re currently my favourite. Ashton got default because he helped cook.” Calum snorted into his coffee before he went and made himself a plate.

“No furniture?”

“Not yet. Only had my bedroom stuff delivered the other day. Everything else is gonna arrive in the next couple of days.” She explained and he nodded in understanding as he took the free kitchen stool.

“Everyone else can stand and eat. Also it’s good food, thank you.” 

“No, thank you guys. I didn’t get to really say it last night but you guys probably saved my life. And if you try to deny my thanks I will take away the coffee.” Her tone was playful, a smile twitching at the corner of her lips, so Calum played along.

“Not the coffee! I can’t let you take it from me.” His dramatics drew out another giggle and he found himself smiling. “You’re welcome, then.” He followed on and she nodded her head. Another knock was heard and Ashton got up from his seat, placing his dish in the sink.

“I’ll go let them in, you actually eat please. It’s your breakfast too.” 

“Mitch and Sam headed home, something about pre-booked breakfast plans.” Luke had muttered to Ashton who simply shrugged in return before letting the rest of them in. He tried not to laugh at how tired Michael looked.

“Not one word, Ash.” He warned and Ashton mimed zipping up his lips and throwing away the key, making Crystal giggle. 

Once they had eaten their fill, they began to toss around questions, asking if she needed help with the furniture. 

“I wouldn’t mind a couple of spare pairs of hands. I’ve got the heavy stuff being delivered today I think.” And with that, the group of six firmly agreed that they’d help and make a day of getting to know the new neighbour. 

—

He knew she was in pain. The day she’d received a phone call that had destroyed her world, he was glad he’d been home instead of in the studio like planned.

There was a loud knock on the door and Ashton shifted from the couch, his confusion turning into worry when he saw it was Luna outside. He pulled the door wide open and she jumped.

“Luna, is everything alright?” He could see the tears welling up as she shook her head, pressing her lips tightly together. He didn’t hesitate to pull her inside, shutting the door behind him as he pulled her into the living room and sat her down on the couch.

“What happened sweetheart?” 

“My mum, she-she’s died.” And his heart wrenched as he watched the first few tears fall. He wasn’t overly a cuddly person, but he didn’t hesitate to pull her into his arms, her own wrapping around his chest.

“Let it out, sweetheart.” And she sobbed, gut wrenching sobs that broke his heart.

“I only talked to her two days ago, and she was okay.” She got out between the broken noises escaping her. He could only hold her tighter in response, because he knew that words would do no justice to the pain she was currently feeling.

He held her until her sobbing started slowing down and her grip got loser. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered and he shook his head. 

“No, you’re hurting and you’ve not got many people. I know that Cal is coming around with Mali,  Roy and Aubrey later. You’re more than welcome to stay and just enjoy the company.” 

He could see her hesitation, but he could also see the exhaustion she was battling with. 

“You’re staying. Take a nap and relax. You can only do so much whilst out here in LA.” She nodded her head and sank back into the couch. Ashton stayed next to her, her feet pulled into his lap. When her breathing slowed down, he carefully moved from the couch and headed into the kitchen, wiping at the few tears that had escaped. 

He sent a text to Calum.

‘Lune’s around. She’s in bad shape, just found out her mom passed away.’ 

‘Shit. We can reschedule, it’s cool.’

‘Nah, I think being around people will help. Just bring some ice cream with y’all.’

When Calum arrived later on with the others in tow, his eyes took in her sleeping form and the fresh tear tracks. He gave Ashton a confused look.

“She’s been crying in her sleep mostly. She cried herself to sleep earlier. I know that this whole situation is her worst nightmare. She’s out in LA and this happened.” The others headed through. Calum felt his heart go out to her.

“You head through. I’ll stick with her for a bit.” Ashton nodded before heading to the other guests and Calum sat himself on the floor, his head resting against the couch by hers. The silence, even as she was asleep he could feel it was heavy. And he understood.

When she woke up, she gave him a tearful smile and he shifted slightly, touching his head against hers. He could see that she wasn’t quite awake, her hand lifting up and running through his hair. 

He hummed softly and waited for her brain to catch up, but he didn’t discourage her once her eyes went wide.

“You’re calm. If that helps, it’s fine. We’re Aquarians but almost the opposite in attitudes. However, we both have the touchy feely side down to a tee.” He teased her and she let out a soft giggle, finally pulling her fingers away from his hair. He smiled at her. 

“Need another cuddle?” She hesitated before nodding her head, cheeks turning pink at the admission. Calum tsked her before pulling himself onto the couch, allowing her to cuddle into his side, both of his arms wrapping around her tightly and squeezing her gently.

“Never be ashamed to admit you need a hug. You’re going through every kids nightmare right now and if you need a cuddle, you need a cuddle.” She sank further into his embrace and they stayed like that for another thirty minutes. 

He could see she desperately needed it.

“Feeling better?” He asked quietly and she silently nodded her head against his chest. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head before the pair began to shift off the couch. 

“Thank you.” Her voice was hoarse and he shook his head, slinging an arm across her shoulders as they finally made their way out from the living room and headed out to the back porch.

“No thanks necessary. You’re my friend and you’re in pain. I know you’d do the same for us.” He whispered before they greeted the others. Mali held her hand out towards Luna and she took a hold of it, allowing herself to be comforted and falling into Mali’s side. Calum wedged himself on her other side and took mock offence at her choosing Mali over him.

This prompted the small giggles and Ashton felt his chest loosen slightly at the sound. 

Soon the night continued and the chatter was mostly distraction for Luna but it worked and she knew that she had a smile on her lips by the end of the night.

He knew that waiting at the airport was risky, but he couldn’t leave her to arrive alone. He knew that she was desperately hurting and seeing a familiar face would at least ease something. 

He knew that there would be paps before long if he wasn’t careful, but when he spotted her walking through arrivals, he lifted his arm, catching her attention and his chest ached as he watched her bottom lip tremble as she made her way over.

He held his arms out and she practically slammed into him, his hoodie muffling the small sob that escaped her lips. And he knew that it didn’t go as she planned.

It took a few minutes before she finally pulled away, her lips pressed together. 

“Let’s get you home first before the inevitable breakdown.” And despite her tears, she gave him a forced smile, wiping her tears away.

Once they were back at hers, stuff unpacked and thrown into the washing machine, she took his hand and pulled him up to her room and despite the implications, he knew it was her preferred way to cuddle. 

He kicked off his shoes and settled himself on her bed as she got changed. And once she was in sleep shorts and one of his old shirts that she’d managed to kidnap during a drinks accident, she crawled into bed and his arms encased her and it was like a switch.

He’d never heard such gut wrenching sobs, but he knew that she needed to get it off her chest. So he simply soothed her, letting her get it all out and just reminding her that he was there and she wasn’t alone.

Eventually her sobs slowed down and he held her tightly. 

“Better?” 

“No. But I don’t feel so broken.” She finally whispered and he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head.

“I’m good superglue. Ask Cal.” He teased and she let out a noise that seemed more like a strangled laugh than anything. 

“It was just, arguments.” She finally whispered. 

Ashton sighed, placing a kiss to the top of her head as he held her tighter. She was always a family girl, in the years he’d known her now. He understood it when she missed her family so much that it left an ache in your chest. 

“I take it they didn’t like the fact that just because your mom died, it didn’t mean you were going to come back.” She shook her head and a broken noise escaped from her lips. 

“I can never do anything right in their eyes.” She choked out between her sobs and Ashton could feel his anger towards these people that would hurt such a wonderful woman.

She’d put up with so much over the last few years. The rude comments, the over intrusive fans once she was introduced to their friendship group. He knew they took their toll, especially when the paps would get creative about her looks and insult her consistently. But to get into arguments with her family and see her this upset, it made his blood boil and his heart break.

There was a knock on the door and she hid her face in Ashton’s chest, a muffled groan escaping her lips.

“It’s reinforcements. Also known as Calum has come over so you can get all cuddly whilst I make you some food.” His tone was light, teasing as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

She finally let go of him, her body curled in on herself as he could see her fight to keep her eyes open. 

“I’ll tell Cal that it’s nap time.” She snorted at that, a few more tears escaping as Ashton left the room and headed downstairs. 

Opening the door, he was greeted with Calum, his eyes concerned and Ashton gave him a small shake of his head as he stepped back to let his best friend through. 

“She’s upstairs and practically dead on her feet. They really fucked up.” He knew that his voice wouldn’t carry, but he couldn’t bear to let it go any louder in fear of his own emotions slipping for her. 

Calum swallowed thickly before nodding. He kicked off his shoes and ditched his jacket, heading upstairs and he found her, tears falling onto the bed sheets. 

“Got room for me, princess?”

“Always.” Came the muttered response, her body shifting as he slid into the bed and pulled her closer. 

-

Calum had left thirty minutes ago, knowing that his two best friends weren’t going to be going anywhere. 

Ashton had returned and it’d been a cosy afternoon spent with the TV on in the background, dozing off every now and then. A few times there were soft whimpers from Luna, but they subsided quickly enough.

But Ashton hadn’t hesitated pulling her against him when he decided to settle for a nap, her body relaxing into his as Calum turned the TV volume down. Once they had both fallen asleep, he slipped out from the house quietly. 

When Ashton had woken up, Luna had rolled over in her sleep, her face pressed into his chest as she slumbered, his arms pulling her close against him. 

Even with her red eyes and puffy face, she still looked beautiful to him.

“Lunes?” His voice was soft as he tried to coax her into waking up. But she either couldn’t hear him or was ignoring him as he gently tried to wake her up.

“Luna, we need to eat.” This gained him some movement, her face pressing into his chest as she let out a sigh.

“No.” The word was muffled as her hands clasped his shirt tighter in her fists, and Ashton didn’t even attempt to pry them off. 

“Sweet Luna, moon of my life, will you please come and eat with me?” His plea was met with silence before she finally pulled her face away, tired eyes meeting his.

“Just, let me not exist. Just for a little bit. ‘Lemme pretend that it’s good till I have to deal with that shit show.” She whispered and he couldn’t deny her at all.

“I’m here for you, during the eye of the storm and then after. I’ve got you Lunes.” He whispered and she sighed, nestling herself back into his embrace.

“Dunno why I keep letting you slip by when you’re this good to me. I should’ve wifed you up a while ago.” Her words were tired and heavy, but he chuckled regardless.

“Wifed me up huh?” His heart was rapidly beating in his chest and he knew she could hear it. How could she not with her face and ear pressed to his chest?

“Loved on you every day. Y’know. All that jazz.” His chest felt like it was burning now, and he desperately tried to keep his breathing even. But then she tilted her head towards him, her eyes holding so much emotion and he knew he was a goner. 

“Kiss me?” 

And he did, his lips trailing soft kisses along her jaw to the corner of her lips first. And then his lips met hers and he felt her practically melting into the kiss.

It was a few moments of them kissing, his lips practically devouring hers and she reciprocated in kind. But the last thing he wanted was for her to make a decision in the state that she was, so he pulled his lips away, his breathing heavy as they processed what just happened.

“When the storm passes, can we-can we still do that?” Her voice was timid and Ashton felt a grin bloom across his lips.

“Absolutely.” 

-

if you want to be added to the taglist, just fill in this form!!

@sexgodashton, @dammitbands, @calumsmermaid, @empathycth, @gorgeouslygrace, @calpops, @rosecolouredash, @cal-puddies, @clockwork124, @valentinelrh, @stellar5sosrecs, @ashtoniwir, @cthla, @liketheydidwithyou, @scxttishpotath0e, @bluehairedtracii, @drummerboy794, @feliznavidaddycal, @i-calumhood, @wokeupinjapanisabop, @converse-luke, @madbomb, @ccnicole02, @youngblood199456, @aulxna, @megz1985, @lukesidentitycrisis​, @snapback-irwie, @neonweeknds, @666yourwitchyfriend666, @clffrd, @cashtonasfuck, @ashtaway, @conquerwhatliesahead92, @itjustkindahappenedreally, @twoamhood, @kchillout, @damselindistressanu, @colormekaykay, @findingliam-o, @sublimehood, @sugarcoated-pain, @singt0mecalum, @singledadharrington, @sweetbbypeachy, @calumspeachy, @colourfulcalum, @lostincalum, @burncrashbromance, @asht0ns-world, @a-mnd, @flusteredcliffo, @loti18, @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave, @clumclum-hood, @fangirl-everythang, @lashtondaddies, @calumssunshine, @ambskiwi, @abundant-stars, @caltattoohood, @seedless-vascular, @myescapefromthislife, @lmao5sosimagines, @beyoncesdragon, @jae-writes-fanfiction, @cxddlyash, @tresfandom, @utterly-u-n-p-e-r-f-e-c-t, @niallisworld, @lietomevalntyn, @babylon-corgis, @monochrome44, @behind-my-hazeleyes27, @ghost0fy0u, @lyllibug, @bloodmoonashton, @rhiannonmichelle, @balsamic-cal, @calumsbaldhead, @washedout-ky, @calumssunshinee, @ghostofmashton, @summerellaz, @a-little-less-sixteen, @cashworthy, @colourfulcalum, @smokeinherlungs, @longlastingdaydream, @h0tsos, @sweetcherrymike, @5sosnsfw, @sugar-nico, @sunnysideblog, @angel-cal, @samros95, @maluminspace, 

[im-robins-bitch]

Yours | sugardaddy!ash 

warnings: implied smut, almost smut, this is sugar daddy ash so 18+ pls

words: 3.6k

this is my first time writing anything like this so feedback is appreciated

Ashton had a soft grip on your butt, holding you in place against his chest. He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead as you wove your fingers through his light chest hair. “Do you want me to get you anything after work doll?” Ashton hummed, making his chest rumble and you nuzzle your head against his shoulder releasing soon you were going to have to shake out of your post-sex haze. 

“Mmm...i can’t think of anything” You sighed, watching the way his chest rose and fell with his every breath. The sun was peeking through the curtains, casting a little light into his shadowed bedroom. 

“That’s unusual?” Ashton chuckled, “sure you don’t have a fever?” He said, pressing his hand against your forehead. 

“Ashton!” You giggled, batting his hand away, “I just haven't seen anything I want is all…” You thought back, trying to even think of the last time you went into town for anything but food, to conjure up the memories of the lively store windows lining the streets of LA. 

“How about I surprise you then,” He suggested. You didn’t reply, starting to pull yourself out of his silk sheets and warm embrace. 

“I should get going, I’m meeting some of my friends.” You shuffled out of bed, your toes digging into a familiar plush rug. You slowly made your way around his room collecting your clothes ignoring Ashton’s obvious staring as you bent down to pick each item up, wiggling your bum at him as you pulled your panties back up your legs, rolling your eyes at the small rip down one of the sides. 

“Are you sure you can’t stay just a bit longer?” Ashton whined, he had pulled himself into the sitting position but he still refused to leave the comfort that his large bed provided. 

“You have to get the studio” You reminded running your hands through your hair, trying to calm down the ball of frizz your hair had turned into. You turned to Ashton again, a smile dancing on your lips when you saw the sad pout on his face and his dramatic glare at the alarm clock.

“Bye daddy” You sang, grabbing your phone from the nightstand pressing a kiss to his lips. 

He shook his head, trying to suppress a smile “stop calling me that,”

“That isn’t what you were saying a few minutes ago” You grinned, giving him one more lingering kiss to the cheek. 

You wished you had stayed a little longer with Ashton.

 ou hadn’t been surprised when your friends turned up late, they usually did, but while Jay was spitting apologize and offers to buy you your drink, Corrina showed up as cheerful as ever in her signature cat eye sunglasses and red fur coat laughing at your annoyance “Babe, you should know we’re gonna be late by now, just come later or don’t complain” She was joking, mostly, but you couldn’t help but suck on your teeth. 

“I was going to, but I remembered the one time I came late and you didn’t and I had to spend the whole time making it up to you while you gave me the silent treatment” You grumped, crossing your arms and sinking further back into your seat. She only rolled her eyes, shaking her hand at you. 

“Because you’re never late, always such a good girl.” She teased making your cheeks turn crimson. Your mind couldn’t help but wander to last night, chills going up your spine as you recalled Ashton in your ear calling you the exact same thing over and over like a prayer. 

“How are the holiday's plans going?” You asked Jay trying to get the memory out of your head.

“Amazing, so we have 3 different countries planned, but we’re hoping to have more. Imagine, me, backpacking across the globe, Rob is so amazing did you know he’s done this two times already!” Jay rambled his head resting on Corrina’s shoulder as he dreamily stared at the muffins.

“He probably with his last two boyfriends.” Corinna laughed, “If you come back with dreads I won't forgive you.” Her laughter died as she hit the front of the counter, giving the barista a bright smile as she listed off all three of your orders. You bit back a smile, knowing this was her way of making up for being late although if you pointed it out she would deny it. 

“How about you?” Jay asked, “Have you managed to scrape together any holiday plans?” 

“Oh, yeah i sorta, figured something out.” You mumbled, chipping away at the nail varnish on your thumb. “I’m going to seoul…” 

“What?” Corinna said, spinning around to face you again, lowering her glasses down her nose. “Last week you said you couldn’t even afford a day trip to florida?”

“Corrina!” Jay scolded

“Who are you even going with?” She questioned, “cause no offence but aren't me and jay your only friends.”

“None taken.” you muttered, “I’m going with Ash, he offered and since it’s my dre-”

“You’re still doing that??” Corrina exclaimed, almost knocking out the barrister when he called her name. “I thought that was a joke? Is that actually how you got the money to go to italy with us?” 

You looked away from her, deciding to look for a free table instead. 

“Wasn’t that two years ago?” Jay asked. You shook your head, surely it hadn’t already been two years since you and Ashon began you started counting the months on your fingers, eyes growing wide when you realised it was true. “Wish my boyfriend would buy me things..” Jay sulked. 

Corinna rolled her eyes “What’s the point in having a boyfriend if he doesn't buy you anything. That’s all boys are good for, and they aint even good for that, my girlfriend buys me things all the time, she even lets me borrow her clothes.” Corinna boasted a proud smile on her face as she played with the ring on her finger. “and she’s not old.” She grinned looking at you like the Cheshire cat “But i suppose some people have to settle for a boyfriend who’s older than the earth itself”

“he’s not my boyfriend and he’s not old.” You pouted, the three of you spotted a table and sunk into the booth, you sitting in the middle of the sofa on your own not feeling like dealing with Corinna’s malting fur today.

“Isn’t it kinda gross though,?” Corrina pondered her eyes lighting up with mischief. “And wrinkly?” She giggled, making Jay snort in response.  

“I just said he’s not old, and he’s actually-”

“Oh god, Jay she’s starting to get a taste for old men.” 

“For the last time he is not-”

“I know! how about we set you up on a date? what was it you said again- oh yeah someone who could snap you in half that was it right” Jay suggested, as corrina laughed at your description of your type. “I think I know a guy we could even set it up for tomorrow”

“Not happening,” You said chipping  at your nail polish again looking down at the table, a light blush on your face. “I just-”

“Come on, you said it yourself, he’s not your boyfriend, he’s probably hooking up with old ladies all the time, one date can’t hurt,” Corrina said, putting her hands together, giving you the best puppy dog eyes she could muster while Jay looked up at you with fluttering lashes and an oversized pout.

The idea of going on a date made your stomach twist in knots, you had always hated dates, nervous beyond repair with new people. You had no desire to be with anyone at the moment, you had Ashton you didn’t need a boyfriend. You opened your mouth about to refuse when you suddenly you pictured Ashton out on a date, a girl running her hands through his dark red hair, you had seen them, in magazines. Pictures of him in clubs surrounded by pretty girls sometimes they made you wonder. 

Suddenly you heard Corrina and Jay screaming in delight, talking about planning outfits and how much fun you were going to have and you released you had agreed to go on a date. You were about to tell them you changed your mind when Corinna looked at you with a bright smile “You know what this means, we get to go shopping!” She squealed. You bit down on your straw taking a long sip of ice tea. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad. 

You got back home, expecting only to see Maurice curled up on the sofa napping away the day like he always did but instead, you were greeted by Ash, pulling you through your door by your hips, pressing a needy kiss to your lips. You put your hands on his chest pushing him away “what are you doing here? How did you even get in?” You asked, dropping your bag to the floor. 

“You left your door unlocked, you really shouldn’t do that doll.” He scolded, nipping at your neck. You bit your lip, you had been in such a rush to see him last night you had completely forgotten “And I remember telling you this morning that I would surprise you” 

You grinned, kissing him and grabbing at his shirt, pulling him further into the living room. “Well consider me surprised” You rubbed your nose against his jaw before going forward to kiss him again, but he only moved further away from you a smirk on his face. 

“ ‘fraid this isn’t the surprise Doll.” He smiled, grabbing your hands and tugging you through the living room and up the stairs towards the direction of your bedroom “Although I suppose it’s more of a present for Maurice” You raised your eyebrow giggling when he covered your eyes with his hand. 

“It better not be a new mattress, I know you hate mine, but i like the springs” You hummed, trying not to trip over the familiar bump in your bedroom carpet.

“No doll it’s not a new mattress,” Ashton’s other hand was still holding onto yours and he gave it a squeeze when he finally uncovered your eyes. 

Your eyes scanned around the room when you noticed in the corner of the room was a tall cat tower, shaped exactly like Sleeping Beauty's castle. Your eyes started to water as you rushed towards it, your fingers dancing across the roof. “Where did you get this? I’ve been dreaming of this my entire life” You gushed the familiar castle filling your heart with warmth and nostalgia.

Ashton grinned, crouching down with you throwing his arm over your shoulder squeezing you tight. “I had it made for you, I remembered you talking about it and so-” He was cut off when your body slammed into his, sending him crashing to the floor as you hugged him tightly, covering his face in kisses “thank you, thank you, thank you.” You chanted between kisses. He laughed, wrapping his arms around you. 

“Welcome baby” He hummed, he cupped his hands around your face staring deep into your eyes moving to kiss you when your cat jumped onto your head and then to his new castle making you headbutt Ashton. 

You both groaned, grabbing your heads in unison. “Are you ok?” Ashton asked. 

You nodded “are you?” 

Ashton smiled “I think you might need to kiss it better.” You laughed before planting a loud kiss against his forehead. “Still hurts a little I think I need one more.” You kissed him again more softly this time.

You sat up, resting against his large thighs. His hazel eyes sparkled with mischief.  He flexed his thigh making you squirm in shock when you got an idea. You wiggled against his lap, shifting when he sat up as well, wrapping your arms around his neck threading your fingers into his hair, tugging on it slightly. “Doll?” 

You hummed in response, rolling your hips against his thighs, tugging his hair a little harder this time. 

“Baby?” He said again, his hand grasping your cheek pulling you to look at him, a teasing smile tugging at your lips. 

“Yeah?” You replied, innocently batting your lashes. “Do you need anything?” 

“You know exactly what I need baby.” He growled, his grip on you tightening making your thighs clench. 

Your hands uncurled from his neck, trailing down his sides to rest at the waistband of his jeans. Your fingers trailed across the waistband, before landing on his belt. You looked up at Ashton asking for permission when he nodded and your hands grappled with his belt buckle sighing with relief when you finally pulled his belt off, throwing it across the room. 

You pulled down his zipper tugging his pants down his thighs. His hands snaked to your hips and he attached his lips to your neck, undoing your pants with ease, dragging them down your legs letting you kick them off. You let out a whimper when he bit down on your sweet spot. He grabbed your ass dragging you closer on his lap squeezing hard. 

“A-Ash.” stuttered, as his hand smacked against your ass thrusting you forward. 

“Such a good girl for me.” He mumbled against your skin. He dragged his hands up your side only to bring them back down to hook his fingers around the waistband of your panties, slowly dragging them. “Did i rip these doll? Gotta get you something new.” 

Your eyes widened, pulling away from his touch. “I-I-I just remembered I need to go and do something.” You sputtered, pulling your panties back up your legs. You looked into his eyes, remembering the girls from the magazines all over him, picturing him running his hands up their bodies, kissing their lips.

“What? Go where?” He questioned watching you put on your jeans for the second time today. 

“Jay’s I was gonna stay at his today, we’re having a film night” You dashed out your bedroom when Ashton's hand wrapped around your wrist. 

“Y/N, are you ok? I haven't done something have I?”

“I’m fine, you’re fine, it’s all fine, I’m watching films ok.” You explained, your words coming out a mile a minute. You wiggled out of his grasp running down the stairs to the living room. 

“Baby!” Ashton yelled, sighing when you didn’t stop. “Baby!” He huffed, finally catching up to you at the front door while you were trying to your shoes back on. “Look, Y/N if you don’t want to do this anymore I understand, I know-”

“Do you not want to do this anymore Ash? Because it sounds like that's what you want me to say? I know you see other girls-” 

“Y/N what are you talking about-” 

You huffed, cutting him of not liking the direction of this conversation. You darted out the front door slammed the door, hoping Jay would be cool with your impromptu movie night trying to ignore the uneasiness crawling up your throat. 

Your date was going awful.

At first you were quite hopeful, he was the type of guy that used to send to your knees. Broad shoulders, big hands and a nice smile, but your wheelie bin had more personality than he did.  You assumed he must have been shy at first, but when he got the waiter's attention by snapping his fingers at them you knew this was going to be a long night. 

You leaned back in your chair, picking at the stiff fabric of your dress. Deciding not to wear anything Ashton had bought for you had been a struggle as he had somehow managed to fill up the entire contents of your wardrobe, leaving you with a stiff black dress you had worn once to a job interview.

Just as he began to raise his hand to ask, well click, for the cheque you noticed a waiter close to you and asked for dessert, the only redeeming feature of this restaurant was the chocolate orange brownies and you were determined to enjoy something today. Your date sighed in response, but you were over caring about his feelings when his responses had evolved from yeahs to the occasional hum.

The silence between the two of you was becoming unbearable and you were about to try and start a futile conversation again when a group of four rowdy guys came in, laughing with each other. You felt the atmosphere of the room instantly lifted when you heard a familiar giggle. 

Your heart began beating out of your chest when you turned and spotted a familiar head of red hair. You tried to shrink in your chair, pulling up the menu and propping it up on the table trying to cover your face. Suddenly you felt awful, picturing him yesterday when you ran out on him and now you were on a date. You shook it off reminding yourself that you weren't together, he had explained it himself when you first started your relationship. As long as you told him you were seeing someone else he wouldn’t mind...you hadn’t told him. 

“One brownie,” The waiter announced, placing the plate down in-between you and your date. 

“Thanks,” You smiled tugging the plate towards yourself. You looked over at Ashton, almost hoping he had noticed you, but of course, he hadn’t. You felt your jealousy creep up behind you again, he never said that he had to tell you, what was stopping him from doing this same thing, after all, you were doing it. 

You looked from your plate of brownies to your shit date. You remembered when Ashton had brought you some of these because he knew you would like them, you wished you were here with Ashton, you wished you were home with Ashton cuddled up in bed, you wished you had never gone on this stupid date. Never argued with him this morning just because you were jealous. you felt your eyes begin to sting and before you could help it you were crying your tears dripping onto your brownie diluting the thick chocolate sauce.

Your date looked shocked, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish before he raised his and started clicking. “We’d like the cheque please.” He grumbled. The waiters rushed over, rolling their eyes.  

“It’s already been paid, sir,” 

“What? By who?” Your date questioned while you continued to sob into your plate. 

“That gentleman over there.” The waiter explained, pointing over at your red-haired lover. Making you cry even louder as he asked you if you wanted your brownies to go. 

It felt like Deja Vu as you walked through your door two days later, Ashton standing in your living-room countless shopping bags swinging from his arms. “Ash?”

“Doll! You’re home!” Ashton greeted, holding his arms wide, trying to embrace you but being held back by the bags hitting against you. “Oops.” He smiled dropping the bags to the floor and going to embrace you again this time succeeding. You cherished the moment, wrapping your arms around him taking in his scent. 

“I missed you,” You mumbled, nuzzling your face into his chest. 

“It’s been two days baby, how can you miss me already.” He laughed. You shook your head, pressing a kiss to his chest. “Ok, ok, how about you open your presents.” 

You whined, holding onto him tighter, refusing to let go. 

“Babbby.” Ashton scolded.

“Daddddyy,” You countered making him shake his head and wrangle himself out of your grip. 

“I told you not to call me that,” He said trying not to smile. He sat down on your sofa, pulling you onto his thigh, he wrapped his arms around your waist making you relax against him. “Ok come on baby, how about you open something?” 

You sighed, turning to face him. You cupped your hands around his face, your eyes scanning over his every feature, your thumb rubbing against his cheek. You tried to remember everything, the curve of his nose, the curl of his smile, the exact shade of hazel that made you fall in love with his eyes. You brought your lips together, memorising the feeling of his lips against yours, you nipped at his lips, begging for entrance. When the two of you kissed it felt like two waves crashing into each other. You only pulled away when you had to your body desperate for air. 

You took a deep breath “Ashton I don’t want to be your sugar baby anymore.” 

The smile fell from his lips, his mouth curving into a frown. His hands barely holding onto your waist. “I-you-we-...” He was speechless his eyes growing dull, beginning to sting.

“I don’t want you to buy me anything anymore, I don’t need extravagant gifts, I don’t need any gifts.”

“I-” He interrupted only to be cut off. 

“I just need you.”

Tears dripped down Ashton’s cheeks as his mind tried to process what you said,  “Just me?” He whispered, his lips ghosting yours. You pressed your lips to his so hard you knew they were going to bruise. 

“Just you.” You confirmed. His arms were tight around your waist as he pulled you both off the sofa, swinging you around making you squeal as your legs flailed out. “You don’t mind?” 

“MIND? I’ve never wanted anything more.” He sniffed, “Fucking hell baby, I thought I was about to lose you, why would you word it like that?” 

“Hey, i thought i was gonna lose you too!” You scowled, pecking him on the lips.

“Baby, I love you more than anything how could you ever think I would let you get away.” He croaked. 

“You love me?” 

“Was it not obvious? I built your cat a fucking castle,” Ashton giggled.

You pecked his lips again. “I love you too,” and again “so” and again “so” and again “much”

“Be mine? properly this time.” He asked, his eyes staring deep into yours, his breath panting against your lips. 

“I’ve always been yours”

[sugarcoatedshawn]

i love her

hi! , sorry I have been super-duper inactive atm, i was v busy with exams.

Here is what i have been working on, not sure if i like it or not (its a bit trash but oh well)

Calum x best friend!reader

Warnings: a bunch of swearings, fluff?? and angst?? 

Enjoy! 

Calum was in love with his best friend.

And it wasn’t the type like how he loved Ashton, Luke and Mikey.

It was the kind where he would yearn to hold and cherish her. He wanted to build that trust and security with her.

He wanted to love her the way she deserved.

Calum was in love with Y/n. The girl who has stuck with him and the boys since they were just fresh into high school. The girl who he painfully watched get fucked over in every relationship. The girl who still held that desire and hope for love.

He desperately wanted to tell her. He needed to confess his feelings to Y/n. But, Calum was afraid. Afraid of rejection, scared of destroying what they already had, fearful that it won’t end up working out.

Calum dreamed of what they could have. The bond they already shared could withstand nearly anything.

As she sat next to him, slouched into the couch, he watched her. Calum’s senses were filled with Y/n. He could smell her perfume, the sweet floral scent, the one he has become so familiar with. Calum felt Y/n shift, so she was able to rest her head oh his shoulder. He turned his head to face the TV, attempting to take his attention off the beautiful girl. Calum really didn’t understand how someone could be that stunning.

“Cal? Cal!”

“Huh?”

“I asked if you could pass me the blanket.” Y/n giggled.

“Oh, sorry here.”

“No need to apologise, you know that. What’s on your mind, Cal?”

Y/n sat up and faced him, clutching the newly acquired blanket up to her chin. Calum snuck a glance at her, he could just tell her right now. He really could.

“If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine. I’m just- you’ve been a bit distant lately. I’m here if you need me.”  

Before he could reply, Y/n returned to her original position on the couch.

Moments like these made Calum frustrated with himself. He knew Y/n was trying to determine if she had done something to make him reserve. And he hated that. Calum watched her do this with her ex-relationships. She would spend hours contemplating to herself and ultimately concluding that she was the one to blame when honestly she just dated fuckheads, at least that was what Calum thought. Y/n was so hard on herself, and Calum was so adamant on making sure she recognised the amazing-ness that she is.

However, Calum lost his hope, he knew he was eventually going to disappoint Y/n. So, here Calum was sat next to the woman who he knew he didn’t deserve, he decided something needed to change. Not just for Calum, but for Y/n.

Y/n knew Calum, and she knew when he plainly just had enough, she knew when he was so exhausted he could barely keep his eyes open. She knew Calum wanted to be alone and she understood that.

“Are you going to the studio tomorrow?” Y/n’s voice shook him out of his thoughts.

“I already know the answer to that, I better head home so you can get some rest, yeah?”

“You don’t have to-” Calum frowned, clambering after Y/n as she collected her things.

“I have so much fucking studying to do Cal, I have to go.” He chuckled at her.

They slowly walked to the front door, Calum watched as she untied her hair, she always complained about the uncomfortableness of the headrest against her hair when it was up.

Y/n turned around and gave Calum a tired smile.

“Hug me?” Calum lifted his arms and tilted his head. Y/n sashayed towards Calum, falling into his chest and wrapping her arms around his torso. They stayed like that for a few moments, relishing in each other’s touch. He knew this was going to be the last time he saw her in a while.

Y/n pulled back just enough, so she was able to see his face.

“Goodnight, Cal.”

“Night Sweetheart, be safe.”

“Always, Cal.”

————-

As days flew by, Calum and Y/n had barely kept in contact. Calum persisted in turning his phone off at Y/n’s concerned messages, he felt like a complete asshole, but, according to him, it’s what he had to do. He endured the days, spending time at the studio, which is where he was today, sat next to Luke. Y/n, however, was stressing. She knew something was up ever since they were together two weeks ago and she knew him well enough that he wouldn’t even dare to reach out.

“Calum? Why the fuck am I getting scared shitless messages from Y/n? She’s worried about you.”

Calum twisted his head to meet Luke’s blaming eyes.

“What did you do?” Luke’s eyebrows shot up.

“Nothin’, just drop it.”

Luke turned to the Maori man, he knew him well enough to know what he was doing.

“Don’t you dare do what I think you’re doing, Calum. Distancing yourself isn’t going to get rid of  your feelings for Y/n.”

“Look, I didn’t fucking ask for a lecture, Luke.” Calum clenched his jaw, snapping his head to his bandmate.

A tense silence fell over them as Calum wallowed in his guilt. Luke knew he didn’t mean his anger, he knew he wasn’t in the right space right now.

“Shit, I’m sorry, man. I just don’t know what I’m doing, Luke.” Calum sighed.

“Here’s one thing you can do, answer your bloody phone before Y/n tells Ashton. You’ll be in serious trouble then.”

“Fuck.” The leather-clad boy rubbed his hand down his face. Before Calum, could contemplate any further, his phone lit up with Y/n’s face, adorned with a photo of you cuddling up to Duke.

Calum cleared his throat, he pressed the daunting green putt on and pushed the phone against his head ear.

“Hello? Calum? Thank god I was so worried. You weren’t picking up and-”

“Y/n I’m fine. No need to worry.”

“What’s going on, why weren’t you answering?” Y/n bit her nails in worry.

“Nothing is going on; I was just busy.” 

“Are you sure, I just, you didn’t-”

“Jesus Y/n, stop being so clingy!” The line went silent.

“If you didn’t want to talk to me you could have just said something.” Calum could barely understand her quiet tone.

“Look- Y/n, I’m-” 

“No! No, I don’t want to be too clingy, do I? I won’t bother you anymore.”

“Sweetheart, shit, Y/n.”

Calum wished for one of her snarky comments, for her to shout at him. For her to tell him to never to talk to him again.

But all he got was silence.

“Jesus, Calum, you really fucked that up, didn’t you?”

—————

The next week consisted of Calum drowning is his regret. His regret in pushing Y/n and feelings away, his disappointment in himself for contemplating whether he should fix his mistakes. He knew they couldn’t go back to how they were before.

Y/n didn’t, couldn’t comprehend what happened. She has lost her best friend and the one person who she truly loves in two weeks. She was overwhelmed with the lack of certainty. Y/n had called Ashton nearly every night asking how Calum was or if anything has changed. Y/n felt defeated.

Calum’s thoughts were driven by the noise of the rain tapping against the window. He sat rigidly on his grey sofa, plucking random rhythms on his bass. Calum was torn, he was against falling into the spiral of love with Y/n, but, it may be too late. The sound of his door slamming shut reverberating along the white walls.

“Calum?” Ashton’s stern voice rang through the house. Calum already knew what happening; an invention.  

“Ashton, I don’t want your opinion.” Calum swivelled his head to glance into his best friend’s eyes.

“Well, I’m fucking going to tell you anyway.”

Ashton threw down his umbrella and placed his phone down on the kitchen counter. He made his way next to his troubled friend and took a seat next to him. 

“Do you know how hard it is for me to get calls from Y/n asking if you are okay?” Calum closed his eyes, he didn’t want to dive into this now.

“Calum. You broke her. You just stopped fucking talking to her, you cut all connections. You did. She tried reaching out, you rejected.”

“You don’t get it, Ashton!” Jumping off the couch, Calum ran his hands through his short hair.

“Mate, I know you. I know you regret cutting Y/n off. You did it because you are afraid of rejection or that you think some bullshit about how you’re not good enough.” Calum couldn’t respond, he refused to.

“Think about how Y/n must feel. You might not recognise it, but Y/n does love you too. It has always been Calum and Y/n.” Ashton matched Calum’s actions. Standing across from him, Ashton watched Calum digest the words being thrown at him.

Deep down, Calum knew that she was in love with him, just as much as he was with her. He ignored it, he told himself that he was just contorting things in his head. Everyone told him he was wrong and blind that he couldn’t see the infatuation swimming in Y/n’s eyes.

“Now, get off your high horse and fix what you destroyed.” Ashton laid a hand on his friend’s back. He was hopeful Calum would mend your relationship, he saw how the effect of the break on his state of mind.

Calum needed her.

---------------

Calum drove the familiar distance to Y/n’s apartment. The normally fifteen-minute drive felt like an hour. Calum’s knuckles slowly appeared white from his grip on the steering wheel as his nerves took over. Calum rehearsed what he was going to say to her, he knew he had to tell Y/n the truth.

Calum slammed the elevator button, watching the numbers count down. As the elevator doors peel open, Calum stands alone with his thoughts, contemplating all of his choices. Reaching Y/n’s floor, the tall man nervously approached her door.

Knocking once, Calum took a deep breath waiting for Y/n’s arrival. Calum tapped again, hearing a soft groan and annoyed what reverberating behind the door.

Calum stepped back as recognised the soft steps coming from Y/n. His heart paused as he saw his best friend dressed in her pyjamas, cradling a glass of wine.

Y/n peered up, eyes widening at the sight.

“Calum?” Y/n stood there, adoring an astounded expression.

“Hi Y/n, can I- uh- can I come in?” Calum nervously chuckled.

The girl stayed silent as she stepped back and pulled the door open wider to fit Calum’s frame. Squinting her eyes up at him, Y/n mumbled out “long time so see.”

Calum scanned her usually neat apartment; he noticed the empty bottles of wine, the stacked dishes in the sink, which was nothing too different as he knew that she despised doing dishes. He saw his green empathy hoddie laying across the armrest of the couch. It was Y/n’s favourite of his collection. Calum didn’t even remember that he had left it at her place.

Placing her glass down, Y/n observed Calum. She wanted to recognise the man she loved.

“Well?” The nervous boy spun around at her voice. Calum looked at Y/n properly, he missed her so fucking much. He saw the red and bag filed eyes, and Calum felt his heart clench at the sight of her disparity.

“Sweetheart-”

“No! You- you don’t get to call me that!” Y/n sniffled, she hated the control he held over her.

“You shouldn’t be allowed just to waltz into here and act as if everything you did was okay Calum! You fucking hurt me, you didn’t call, respond to me, you cut me out!”

“Fuck. I know I messed up Y/n, please just let me explain.” Calum slowly approached her, pausing as soon as Y/n retreated.

“Look, I just needed to get away. I couldn’t handle-”

“You couldn’t handle what, Calum? Being with me? And you know that you could have told me, talked to me!” Y/n was utterly flabbergasted at Calum, she was expecting an explanation.

“That’s the problem! I can’t fucking talk to you about what I am going through, It will change everything.” Calum was becoming frustrated with everything; the situation, her and himself

“Why? Why can’t you talk to me? I’m your best friend!”

“Because I fucking love you Y/n!”

The pair stood there, heaving breaths, eyes staring into each other. Calum grabbed her hands, pulling her closer to him and leaned his head against his. 

“Please say something.” Calum begged, he needed her to say it back.  

Y/n relaxed in his touch, letting her hands grip his sweatshirt adoring his torso.

“I love you so much.” Pulling back, Calum softy held her face between his palms.

“You can’t just do that.” Y/n whispered to Calum, allowing her eyes to flutter shit at his touch.

“I have always loved you, sweetheart. I fell in love with you the day you shouted at the guy who stole my soccer ball.”

“You’re a hopeless romantic, hood.” Y/n softly chuckled. “I love you too.”

Calum slowly leaned in, looking for reassurance in Y/n’s eyes. Y/n matched his movements. Their lips met, expressing all their feelings for each other in one kiss. It sounded cliche, but, Y/n swore she felt fireworks and Calum wouldn’t argue.

Separating just enough to gaze at each other, both wore a lovestruck smile. Y/n dropped from her tippy-toes, laying her head against Calum’s chest, listening at his heartbeat.

Wrapping arms around each other, they relished in the contact, the feeling of being together again.

“I didn’t think you loved me as I loved you and that I would ruin everything. I rationalised that distancing myself would rid me of my emotions” The words were mumbled against Y/n’s hair. “Did it work?” Y/n questioned.

“I don’t think so, sweetheart, I really don’t.”

@rip-lukes-balsamic @ohimaginethat

[paralysis-comic]

yourocsbackstory week 3: education

@yourocsbackstory || [read on wattpad]

so this ones kinda long huh. tw for ableism, self injurious behaviour, just a lot of crying

But Not Too Familiar (Baby Blues: Interlude)

September 2009

The word school has been fucking you up for a while now. Mum says that’s just how school is. Dad says she’s wrong.

He came into your horrible little room one evening and said he was very sorry for not being a good dad, that he’d promised your previous dad to do a better job, that he would show that bastard Atticus, that he’d get you through school no matter what, all of it, right up to uni. You didn’t really know what uni was.

John said school is designed to make you think you’re meant to be learning French and Geography and stuff, when they’re really sorting you into popular, unpopular or medium. The medium ones, he said, make the best adults. He said occasionally, you get these edge cases—kids who have so many friends that they can’t imagine anyone not liking them, and the ones who don’t have any so no one bothers trying to find them some—those, he said, never last. He wrote all this out on a piece of A5 paper in his own horrible little room, while writing at your mutual parents about things that nine-year-olds don’t concern themselves with.

He also told you not to bother with uni.

•

And he says it again as he pauses outside the gates.

You look around. Ysgol Blodeuwedd Tudur—or Blodeuwedd Tudor Primary School And Nursery, as it says underneath—is bigger and shinier than you imagined. John’s staring at it too. Mum sort of shepherds you both through (is it shepherding if you’re both willing to go? And if theres only two of you?). You can’t see her face from where you are, but she sounds weird, both crosser and gentler. You stop for a second and turn around. She’s got her hand on John’s shoulder and keeps glancing at the other mums.

You’re not yet sure who you’re supposed to know and who you’re not. Maybe the girls who just came out from amongst them and are hugging you. They have nice vibes, rather than the ok and oh no vibes that everyone else has. According to their book bags, they are Cerys Thomas and Louise Yang. They are decent.

The sound of tiny little footsteps brings your attention away from them. You look up to see a stocky, curly haired boy sort of skid to a halt beside you. He raises his arms to wrap them around your neck, then stops.

“Do you remember me?”

You look down. You do remember Diane. Kind of. You don’t remember his middle name, his birthday or his favourite colour, but still…

“I remember you’re my best friend.”

He goes blank for a second, then he hugs you harder then you’ve ever been hugged in your life this year.

“We missed you SO MUCH Mrs Davies was being REALLY MEAN they haven’t changed the REGISTER yet and we thought you moved SCHOOLS—“

“Son, we don’t talk about that in public. And why don’t you let go of Iffy, you’re wobbling her crutches.”

He rearranges his arms into a position more accommodating to your unipedality.

You’re having a hard time thinking; partly from the dread-induced skeletal inertia and enteral pain, partly because there are at least five conversations going on around you (four spoken, one written). John holds this morning’s piece of paper in your direction.

she thinks letting me stay over therell make her look like a bad mother

any idea why she touched me like that? almost rather her wheeling me herself

You read it a few times (sometimes his handwriting is too neat) and shrug. You can’t talk in front of all these people and, well, you can’t write in front of anyone. Before you can dwell on how you’re gonna get through Year 5 if you can’t write, he pulls you over to the patch of concrete by the main doors. Mum hurries after you. She tells him off very quietly while you steal his headphones. He says you used to do that every day before he moved to London. You’re not sure about his taste in music.

•

In Year 1, no one was sure whether you were Iphigenia St. David or Iphigenia Richard or Iphigenia Henderson, so they put you at the top of the register. In Year 5, that means you sit right by the door, on a table with Stacey Ashton, Calum Beddoes, Dai Borgstein and Tonya Bufton. It’s the only table here with 5 seats instead of 4.

And it’s right by Mrs Davies’s desk.

She’s doing the register silently, so no one has to say why Gellert and Harvey and Suzie and Hector aren’t here. Sometimes she looks up sharply at you and raises her eyebrows in a way that says you should be focusing on doing your mental maths. Occasionally she says, “Do you want anything?” in a way that says you shouldn’t be wanting anything at all, no, not you, the girl who could walk and talk and write just fine in Year 4, what makes my class any different, Gina?

But the paper in front of you is evading you right now. Actually, no, it’s not the paper, it’s the white noise of 23 nine-year-olds (and Stacey) not quite whispering, it’s Mrs Davies clickiticlackiting on word or whatever, it’s stacey asking you if you need any help in that loud, over-enunciated way that girls whose birthdays are in September have, it’s the girls on the next table gossiping with Tonya, it’s Tonya turning to look at you and looking back at them and laughing, it’s Calum asking you why you can call Dai Diane and he can’t, it’s everyone calling you Gina, it’s not remembering what your name is meant to be, it’s everything else in your head that’s not letting the mental maths in, it’s everyone telling you things that apparently happened, things that you did, horrible things, things that will keep you up at night for years, it’s Calum snapping his pencil because he knows it makes you cry, it’s the feeling like you’re falling, and you might well be, who gives a f—

It’s Mrs Davies clicking her fingers in front of your face.

Everyone’s staring at you. You don’t move. You don’t say anything.

You can’t.

“Well?”

You don’t answer. Partly because no, you’re not well, anyone can see that, but mostly because… you have no idea what she’s asked of you.

“You know what perimeter is, Gina. D’you want to tell me?”

OK, sure, yeah, you know what a perimeter is. You know how to spell it, you know how to work it out, you know the relationship between it and area (John told you), you—

Maybe you don’t know what perimeter is.

And that’s not the voice she uses with Stacey. Or Tonya. Or anyone else. That’s not even the voice she used in assembly, when all the Key Stage 1 kids were there. That’s the voice that…

Fuck.

“No. Don’t.”

You try and let the sound of your breathing take over the giggling and the eyes upon you, and it kind of works because you’re breathing so loudly. Every muscle in your body is tensed to stop you rocking back and forth.

Or worse.

“Look at me.”

Huh? No. No, you’re not doing that.

“Gina.”

And that’s not your name. You don’t have a name anymore.

Something happens right by your ear, but you can’t identify it amongst everything else. Your eyes squinch shut and for a moment you can see her leaning over you.

You go cold.

You whimper slightly, pulling away, expecting your head to hit metal but theres nothing there. No, god, don’t fall, don’t-

You’re jerked forward, upright. You open your eyes to make sure you’re definitely in the classroom. There’s a voice to your right.

“Mr Lloyd never did that.”

“Well, I’m not Mr Lloyd.”

The hand around your left bicep moves to raise your head.

“Look at me.”

Your head comes up, and you look at her.

And now you are screaming.

“No. we don’t do that.”

You wrench your head to the right to look at Diane, but you can’t look at him, so you stare at the wall like you’re looking for something very specific on the Roald Dahl poster. The wall is too white and too far away. It hurts like hell.

Diane moves somewhat into view. He’s a bit close, bless him, but the blurry shape of his face and hair are easier on your healing eye.

He looks up at Mrs Davies (still shouting, but you’re trying to block her out) and moves away with a start. You can see his expression more clearly now; he’s worried, really worried, but you can’t work out why exactly. No one else seems to be.

After a moment of dithering, he gingerly takes hold of Mrs Davies’s left hand and prises her index finger off you. Something moves in your peripheral vision and you instinctively look back at her. She snatches away her hand, gouging her fingers into your flimsy little arm, feeling the bone. The force almost launches you at Calum. She lunges at Diane with what can only be described as teacherly incredulity.

“Uh-“

That noise. It’s familiar, but you can’t place it. It reminds you of the noise your dad makes when you start crying, but scary. Like she wants to collect more tears from you, not wipe them away. Well, you’re crying now. Is that what she wants?

“Dai?”

Some of the other kids do that fake-gasp-and-real-titter that kids are wont to do when someone’s properly getting what for. A few of them gasp for real, the ones in the quagmire between friend and stranger that bullies so often occupy, the ones that have forgotten that Diane isn’t his real name. Matthew Powell says they’ll do you for saying that to a pupil. Stacey asks if you’re alright again. You certainly don’t look alright—you’re shivering all over now and you’re not sure why. Diane starts crying as well.

Mrs Davies takes her hands off you and frowns at him.

“We don’t need that from you, Dai.”

All the tension from being grasped drains out of you and you flop down onto the table. You try to convince yourself that you’re somewhere else, but you don’t have enough memories of nice places yet. You’re having the same overwhelming sadness as you did when you first got home, but you’re too tired to cry now. Diane isn’t.

You want to comfort him, but Stacey is doing that already. She doesn’t look very good at it; he’s crying in a different way and he keeps reaching out to hold your hand. Mrs Davies says not to give you any attention.

You pretend there’s no one in the room except you and him.

He says your name. Maybe he wants you to look at his face again. You try, because you want him to know you’re alright, and then maybe he’ll be alright too.

But god, you can’t. You just can’t.

He raises his hand again, and Stacey grabs it back.

“No,” she says.

You go cold again.

For fuck’s sake.

•

Mrs Davies sits down at her desk and tells everyone to be quiet and do their work and to Not Give You Any Attention. Even Stacey. Even when you’re making all this noise. And, for the first time today, you remember why you are.

And you don’t fucking like it.

Diane nudges you and gestures to his worksheet. The old John Fairfax manoeuvre.

do you want me to tell her ?

You nod. He wipes the tears of his face and puts his hand up. How does he compose himself so fast?

A few minutes later, you look out the window to the hall. You’re still crying and shivering, so Stacey tries to pull you back down. Diane and Mrs Davies are heading towards reception. A thought occurs to you. Calum grabs one of your crutches and you fall against the bookcase. Mrs Davies turns around, sees you and starts shrieking at you for some reason. You look at Diane and gesture to the Year 1 class as much as you can with no free hands. He gets it.

When Mrs Davies gets to you, she runs her hands down her face, makes a frustrated noise, and drags you out into the hall. You drop your crutches. She makes you sit down (you can’t get back up on your own), puts your worksheet in your left hand (you don’t have a thumb on that hand) and your pencil in your right hand (you’re left handed). She goes back into the classroom. She throws your crutches in your general direction. She slams the door. Fuck, it’s really gonna be like this every day, isn’t it?

You’re really crying now. Your throat has been hurting for quite a while. When you were in the classroom, it hurt to swallow, and now you can’t even feel yourself swallowing. Especially with your prosthetic tongue. and you’re tired as fuck.

You wait for Nesta to come out of Class 1, or at least for Diane to come back. Anyone. There’s a clock at the far end of the hall, but its too far away to see. Whatever. Time is a mystery to you anyway.

All this fear is making you feel like you’re about to both hurl and shit yourself—and to be honest, you wouldn’t really care if you did. You look down at yourself. At your hands. For a second, you swear you’re in hospital again. You emit a blood curdling scream and throw yourself to the side like you normally do, but instead of a mattress or a rail or thin air, there’s just floor.

You see legs.

Nesta says a long something to Diane while you continue to scream, and he starts to go inside. He pauses and turns around. Nesta takes out her notebook, scribbles some stuff down and gives it to him. Hey, you recognise that notebook. While he’s gone, you start to really miss him. You snuggle up to him when he comes back. You stay like that while Nesta goes to reception. You calm down a bit. Mrs jones comes out with her and stalks over to you, telling you to get up. She shuts up when she notices your missing leg and the bruise on your face. She says she doesn’t think you’ve got a concussion, but she’s not sure. Nesta says your dad’s coming to pick you up.

You don’t think school is meant to be like this.

[winterisakiller]

Get Better - Chapter Two

Title: Get Better

Chapter: 2/18

Character: Tom Hiddleston/Cath Richardson (OFC)

Genre: Romance

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: Love. Companionship. Family. These are all of the things Tom Hiddleston desperately wanted. But his life and his choices left that a distant and unlikely prospect. So he did his best to move on and live his life as is. When an opportunity to return to the theater arises, he jumps at the chance and along the way finds that maybe, just maybe, those distant and unlikely prospects are closer than he could have imagined. Sequel to Brave Face.

Authors Notes/Warnings: So as I was writing Brave Face I knew that Tom’s story wasn’t over, even if that particular part of it was. And while I knew, more or less, what the overall ending to the story would be, its taken me a while to figure out the time in between. Thanks to @redfoxwritesstuff for letting me continually throw ideas off and at you. I still can’t fathom why you put up with it, but I am eternally grateful you do. This story will update on Thursdays.

Tag list: @tinchentitri @theheartofpenelope @nonsensicalobsessions @blacksuitofdoom @noplacelikehome77 @messy-insomniac-bookgirl @wolfsmom1 @just-the-hiddles @theoneanna

Previous Chapter

CHAPTER TWO

 The heat of August gradually cooled into early September. It was with a twinge of nostalgia that Tom found himself sitting around with Joanna Hogg, Mary Roscoe, and Kathryn Worth discussing Unrelated. It had been his first film and therefore quite the learning experience. But one that he remembered fondly. Later that same week he’d found himself on a red carpet and then on a stage presenting an award to a man he’d first seen on a big screen in a film he adored, and feared, as a young boy. The same man he later had the pleasure of working with in another film in Australia of all places. Funny thing time, he thought smiling as he stood beside Jeff Goldblum, chatting about life and film and the world. It still brought him up short the chances and opportunities he’d been blessed with in his career. Funny, sometimes painful, but wonderful all the same.

 And now he found himself once again waiting on the side of another stage, adrenaline coursing through his veins. He chatted amicably with his fellow actors and readers, waiting for the signal from the now closed double doors. He could clearly hear the excited murmurings of the crowded auditorium and felt the familiar nervous energy bubbling in his gut. It was the same feeling he got anytime he’d prepared to walk onto a stage or a set. It was an old friend at this juncture and one he both missed and dreaded.

 When he’d been approached with this project two months back, he had all but jumped at the chance. Getting not only to read but debate with fellow actors and writers over literature he’d loved for years, to be able to perform and share that love with others. It would a nice testing of the waters, so to speak. He hadn’t been on stage in a performer sense in over a year, and hadn’t done something of this nature since school. It had seemed like an interesting challenge and one he couldn’t see turning down. Rehearsals had been full of laughter and amusement.

 Tom was sharing the stage with several talented actors; amongst them an actress in talks to join him in the Pinter production he was very much looking forward to in the New Year. Zawe Ashton was her name and while he’d seen bits and pieces of her work in the past, she was not someone he’d had the pleasure of working with beforehand. He found her funny and a delight to play off of. She had a wicked sense of humor that went very much along the lines of his own. And what was best was she hadn’t seemed to give a toss who he was. Yes, she’d known his name and was familiar with his work, but none of that seemed to matter to her. He could very easily see them getting along quite well during a grueling show run. If things went well tonight and the following week at the gala, then schedule permitting she would be a shoe-in for the role of Emma.

 Beyond the doors, a hush fell over the crowd and he could see the lights begin to dim. Not long now. He could feel the tension and excitement running through their small group as the talked and laughed amongst themselves.

 “Alright, places,” the woman manning the door called. Tom took a deep breath and walked through the doors and onto to the stage.  

 The debate itself seemed to fly by and Tom found that he had enjoyed himself immensely. His competitive nature was certainly getting its chance to shine and he was absolutely delighted when his team, the correct team as far as he’d been concerned, won. They’d taken their respective bows and headed off stage in ones and twos. “That was absolutely fantastic,” Zawe breathed, smiling as she turned back to face Tom.

 “Oh completely. I haven’t had that much fun in longer than I care to admit.”

  Zawe laughed in earnest. “Same.”

 They were ushered around the auditorium and handed collection buckets before being let loose to collect as much money for charity as they could. Tom had smiled, laughed, and talked with as many people as he could; never fully able to turn off the ‘public Tom’ persona he’d worn for so many years now. It was him, in a way, but more like a perfectly sculpted mask. Something he could slip in and out of depending on the place and the company he kept. In the past he’d been more open, more playful and less guarded with how he spoke and acted, but time and experience had taught him to pull back. To keep a respectable distance between who he was and who he was expected to be. To still be warm and engaging, but to never cross that line. It had been a difficult lesson to learn.

 It was with a grateful sigh that Tom folded himself into the backseat of the black cab, leaning his head back against the seat rest. He watched with half lidded eyes as the brightly lit streets of London flitted past. He loved the city; loved its hustle and history. It was one of the main reasons he still lived in the converted terrace he’d owned for several years now when he could so easily have moved to California like so many others had before him. London held his heart in a way very few other places had.  

 He blinked in momentary confusion as the cab slowed to a stop. It took far longer than he cared to admit to realize that he was, in fact, home. With a warm smile, Tom paid his fare and lumbered slowly to the black gate surrounding his home. He absently entered the code, pushing the gate open and heading up the dimly lit walk to his door. From behind it, Tom could hear Bobby’s excited barking and smiled to himself. It wasn’t quite the welcome home he’d longed for, but it was nice to have someone waiting for him. He made quick work of the lock and slowly pushed the door open.

 The spaniel’s barking increased in pitch and volume, jumping and wagging his tail as if his life depended on it. Tom sighed and shook his head. “Alright you heathen, let’s get you outside.” More excited barking followed as Tom padded through the hallway and into the kitchen towards the back door into the garden. While Bobby rummaged around outside, Tom filled his food bowl and topped off his water bowl. “Come on now, food’s ready!” he called out the door to little effect.

 Tom let out a grunt of exasperation and headed out into the dimly lit back garden. Bobby was snuffling around the bushes at the far end of the garden, telltale small piles of dirt surrounding him. Tom grumbled under his breath and yelled for the dog again. Reluctantly, Bobby heeded his master’s call and trotted back up the yard and into the kitchen.

 “You, my friend, are very lucky indeed that I am as fond of you as I am.” Bobby raised his head from his supper bowl and gave Tom an astonished look before returning to his meal. Tom merely shook his head and headed back through the house and towards the stair case to the upper level and bed. He stripped mechanically, making a brief stop in the bathroom to wash his face and clean his teeth, before falling into bed.

 The next morning dawned bright and cool. Tom stretched his arms above his head, a jaw cracking yawn echoing through the sunlit room. Bobby, who had been curled up contentedly at the edge of the bed, raised his head. He’d tried, when the spaniel was younger, to keep him downstairs in his own crate overnight. It had lasted all of about the span of a week for the puppy’s pitiful cries to break Tom’s resolve and allow him into the bedroom. ‘Just for the night,’ he’d sworn. And now nearly a year later, it was quite clear Tom had lost that battle.

 With determination, Tom pushed himself up and out of the bed, padding down the stairs and into the kitchen, Bobby quick on his heels. He opened the back garden door and let the spaniel out, turning his attention towards the coffee press and feeding his much needed caffeine addiction. He set to work boiling his kettle and gathering the bag of coffee from the cabinet above the sink. Tom took great pleasure in setting about brewing his morning coffee, loving the way the strong, warm scent filled the kitchen.

 Once it had brewed he poured the steaming liquid into his mug; a green one with a chip in its lip, one that Amy had given him. The thought of her still stung, though the pain had lessened throughout the intervening years. He still missed the life they’d had…Still bitterly regretted the stupid and selfish choices he’d made that had broken them. But he had slowly begun to come to terms with them and, in turn, with himself. Little things still caught him off guard but he’d learned to accept them and to try to move on from them. It was a hard road but one he was beginning to believe he could navigate on his own.

 Coffee doctored to his liking, Tom headed out into the back garden. He lowered himself into one of the wooden patio chairs and watched Bobby run around like mad chasing squirrels. It was a wonder any still dared to enter the garden with how valiantly Bobby guarded his territory. That dog was a menace and Tom loved him dearly for it. Closing his eyes, he savored the warmth the bloomed inside him as he sipped the gently steaming mug in his hands. There were many things he could make do without, coffee was most definitely not among them. He took his time, enjoying the sun on his face and the slowly dwindling coffee in his mug. His stomach grumbled, reminding him that man could not survive on coffee alone.

 “Bobby!” He called, pushing himself to his feet. The spaniel, paused mid-bark and turned to face his master. “Come.” Tom laughed as the spaniel broke off into a mad dash towards the door, nearly knocking him off his feet. Apparently someone was wanting his breakfast as well. Once kibble was added to Bobby’s bowl, Tom turned his attention towards his own meal; a quick toast and egg would do. He’d glanced at the clock above the stove when he’d entered the kitchen and found it to be well after nine. He would need to get moving soon, especially if he wanted to get a decent run in before heading into town to meet Emma.

 Not bothering with a shower, after all what would be the point if he was just going to end up a sweating mess again, Tom changed into his running kit and slipped into his trainers. He thundered down the stairs and towards the front door, grabbing Bobby’s lead from the key hook. Bobby, sensing walkies were afoot, was standing at the front door and began to twirl in tight little circles as Tom approached. He laughed and hooked the lead to the spaniel’s collar before leading them both out the door and into the crisp, late morning air.

 Several circuits around the neighborhood and nearby park helped to clear his head and focus his mind. He loved running, loved being able to lose himself in the rhythm and peace of it. It was the one pastime he could do anywhere and had been a godsend on long and grueling shoots. Tom was, in fact, a sweating mess when he and Bobby pushed their way back inside the house. Unclipping Bobby, and patting him playfully on the back, Tom climbed the stairs two at a time, stripping his clothing as he went.

 He showered quickly, enjoying the feel of the steaming water on his protesting muscles, and padded back into his bedroom to dry and dress. A quick glance at clock on the bedside table told him it was half eleven. With a grunt, he pulled on a pair of jeans and his well-loved blue jumper, which he noted with a fair bit of disdain was starting to get a hole in one of its sleeves. He ran a quick comb through his damp hair and shoved his feet into the grey boots he’d had for nearly as long as he could remember.

 Another quick glance at the watch he’d fastened onto his left wrist as he pounded down the stairs told him he needed to leave, and quickly, if he had any hope of meeting Emma at the restaurant she’d chosen on time.

 “Shit,” he cursed at himself, ushering Bobby into the back room and his kennel.

 Things situated, Tom grabbed his wallet and keys from the hallway table and darted out the front door. He considered trying to cab it in, but all things being equal and knowing London traffic far too well, he dismissed the matter out of hand; the tube was often a great deal faster than the car.

 Forty minutes later, Tom dashed into the warmth of the fairly busy café; woolen coat open and breathing heavy. He’d made a mad dash from the underground station once the train had finally come to a stop. He was late and Emma was sure to give him hell about it. He scanned the room, finally resting on her strawberry blonde head at a table in the corner.

 She smiled up at him as he took the opened seat across from her, leaning over to kiss her cheek. “I’m dreadfully sorry. I lost track of time and…”

 Emma simply rolled her eyes and held up her hand. “Tom, the day you show up to a non-work event on time is the day I know the world’s ending.”

 “Oh ha ha,” he retorted, shaking his head. “I’m only what, ten minutes late?”

 She snorted, “Only…But I guess coming from you that is actually pretty decent. I was honestly expecting at least twenty minutes.”

 Tom looked up at her, affronted. True he did tend to run slightly behind if not harassed, but surely not that badly and with such consistency? “I am not that bad.”

 “My darling brother, unless you’ve got someone there to push and pester you, you are indeed that bad. Need I remind you of mum’s birthday last year…?” Emma quirked an eyebrow at her brother as if daring him to challenge her.

 He scoffed. “That was once time…”

 “And I can list at least a dozen others offhand, if you’d like. My wedding, Sarah’s wedding, last Christmas, the Christmas before…I could go on,” Emma countered. “But I don’t have all day. I left Jack minding Alice and while I love that husband of mine, our offspring has been cutting a new tooth and has frankly been crankier than you on a bad day.”

 Tom narrowed his eyes in mock annoyance. “Why are you always such a brat, Brat?”

 “Because someone needs to put you in your place, brother dear. And since I am here, I guess that leaves me.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief as they locked on Tom’s. “Lord knows you aren’t going to manage it yourself and Luke’s earned a break don’t you think?”

 The teasing volleyed back and forth throughout their meal. It had been a good while since he had done anything with his baby sister, save for larger family gatherings. She’d been busy between the chaos of new motherhood balanced with local and national theatre work and he’d been in and out of the country with promotional work. He smiled as he watched her talk, the way her face lit up as she told him about the latest thing his tiny niece had done or the mishap she’d had with a prop during a sold out performance. It was difficult to reconcile the grown woman before him with the bratty little sister she’d always been in his eyes, but it was wonderful all the same.

 “Oh,” Emma started, placing her half-drunk mug of coffee onto the table. “Have you talked with mum recently?”

 Tom shook his head, “Not in the last week or so? Has something happened?” He leaned forward, anxiety clearly painted across his features.

 “No. No, she’s fine. She’s just trying to get things sorted regarding Christmas.”

 “Christmas? It’s barely October,” he countered.

 “Which I tried telling her, but alas, she wants to get everyone together this year and with you and Sarah and your insane schedules, she figured starting sooner rather than later would make sense.”

 Tom laughed and shook his head. He loved his mother, loved her dearly, but she was a planner. Had been his entire life. And the holidays were her weakness. They had always attempted to gather for Christmas, with varying success; between Tom’s own insane schedule over the last several years and Sarah and her family living and working in India, it was rare to have all three Hiddleston siblings under one roof. And as inane as it sounded, Tom could see the sense in her trying to plan so far in advance.

 “…usual nonsense. And she is thinking of trying to have Amy and her family around on Boxing Day.”

 Tom blinked in confusion as Emma’s words sank in. “What now?”

 “Mum is talking about inviting Amy, Teddy, and their little one over for either lunch or dinner on Boxing Day.”

 His heart clenched at the mention of Amy and her husband but slowly relaxed as he let out a breath.

 “Is she now?”

 While he’d run into both Amy and her husband on several occasions since the wedding, the idea of spending time with them in his mother’s home felt…strange. Not as unbearable as it would have been even a year ago, but still strange. ‘And their little one.’ He’d known they’d been expecting, Emma had mentioned it months back, but hadn’t really let himself think on the matter. He was…happy for her, for them both, even if they idea set uneasily in his gut. And it wasn’t the idea that it should have been him, he’d long since come to terms with that, more so a longing. Something he’d felt when he looked at Sophie as she held either of her and Ben’s sons. Stupid and selfish, but very much real.

 Emma nodded. “Henry will be four months by then and mum is desperate to meet him.” She sighed, “You’d think she didn’t have any grandchildren of her own with the way she’s acting.”

 Tom shrugged. “You know mum, she always had a soft spot for Amy…”

 “That she did,” Emma echoed. “But still…The nerve of the woman.” They both chuckled at that. “So just be aware that she’s most likely going to call and pester you.”

 “I don’t doubt that for a single moment,” Tom laughed. “Has Sarah said if they were coming yet?”

 Emma took another sip of her coffee and nodded. “Yeah, they should be able to come. You are the wild card at the moment.”

 Tom stroked his beard with his free hand. “I should be able to come…As of now I don’t think I have anything that would make that impossible. The con in Phoenix isn’t until the new year…I’ll double check with Michael and Luke to make sure.”

 “I still cannot believe people pay actual money on purpose to meet my dork of a brother. Cannot wrap my head around it.”

 He chuckled, “It’s still strange for me, Em.”

 “I bet.” She paused and pulled her mobile from her purse, glancing at the screen. “And on that note, I have to run. It’s nearly three and I promised Jack I’d be home before four.” She reached for the bill their server had left on the edge of the table but Tom beat her to it, flashing her a warm smile.

 “My treat,” he said in way of explanation.

 Emma shot him a pointed glare, “You are a menace, you know that right?” She pushes her chair back and pulled on her coat.

 Tom chuckled, climbing to his feet himself and pulling his sister into a warm hug. “Give Alice a kiss for me and give Jack my best.” Nodding, she slipped her bag over her shoulder and headed for the door. Tom followed behind, pausing to pay the bill before venturing into the chill of the late afternoon and home.

 He spent much of the following week juggling the things he’d been putting off. He’d called and visited his mother; and she, as Emma had predicted, pestered him about his schedule around Christmas. He’d assured her, with back up from Luke, that he was indeed free and would most definitely be coming home this year. He’d also started sorting through his clothing and washing and packing for his trip to the states. He found himself both excited and wary for the trip. Conventions could be a thoroughly enjoyable experience; he’d had several wonderful ones and had enjoyed interacting with fans at the events. But just the same they could be draining and demanding. Sometimes it seemed, no matter what he did, it wasn’t enough. Tom hoped for the former this time around.

                                                             —

 The evening of the gala celebrating the life and work of Harold Pinter arrived far sooner than Tom had anticipated. He was excited and anxious and terrified all at once. He’d been so wrapped up in trying to organize his life and make sure he had his lines memorized, that when the driver rang the bell on his gate he’d stood staring in complete confusion for several seconds before realization dawned. God, feared he’d lose his head if it weren’t attached. Tom had been approached for the event shortly after talks began regarding his involvement in reviving Betrayal in the West End. He’d agreed almost immediately, looking forward to sharing the stage with several talented actors and testing out the material on stage before fully committing to the play. The nervous energy had run off him in waves as he’d darted upstairs and dressed quickly. Thankfully, Luke had seen to having his suit pressed and waiting in his closet. Tom dressed in a mad dash before heading back down stairs and out to the waiting car.

 It was half past five when Tom slid into the leather backseat, apologizing profusely for his tardiness. Luke would murder him if he were late. As the car started off, Tom pulled out his mobile, shooting his publicist a quick message that he was on his way. It most likely wasn’t necessary, but Tom knew Luke liked to be kept in the loop as much as possible. Shoving his mobile back into his pocket, he turned his attention back to the present. He made small talk with the driver as they moved along, chatting about the weather and later about the dismal amount of traffic they’d run into. They’d pulled aside the theatre half an hour later and once he’d climbed from the car, Tom was ushered inside and backstage. He chatted with Zawe and several other familiar faces as they waited for the theatre to fill and for the start of the evening.

 Things had been going rather well, in Tom’s humble opinion until he’d gone to grab his folder and managed to slice his thumb open. He’d stared, dumbfounded, at the welling blood before he was rushed towards the side of the room and quickly patched up. “Score one for my dumb luck,” he joked as he once again picked up his folder, this time taking much greater care. His scene with Zawe had gone off splendidly. They played well off each other and he looked forward to working more with her, providing she was willing and able to commit to the run.

 Bows taken, they were all rushed backstage and then quickly to their waiting cars to be driven to the Brasserie Zedel for the after party. Once arrived, Tom walked the short carpet and took his time talking with the various reporters encamped along it. He enjoyed talking about not only Harold Pinter and the fun he’d had that night but of theater and acting in general. He knew, without a doubt, that he was allowing his inner theatre and literature nerd run amuck, but couldn’t find it in him to care.  

 Tom mingled with the arriving guests. He caught sight of several familiar faces and did his best to talk with them all. As he allowed himself to scan the room once again, he found his eyes drawn to the short dark haired figure talking animatedly with Zawe. She was all of five foot nothing in her heels but commanded the attention of those around her as though she were much, much taller. Her dress was navy in color and came to mid-calf, clinging to her curves in ways that made Tom desperate to trace with his own hands. Her dark hair hung in a low, loose pony over one shoulder. She tossed her head back, laughing at something Zawe had said and the sound that echoed from her lips was captivating even from such a distance.

 Stealing himself, Tom made to start for the both of them, wanting nothing more than to know just who this tiny, vivacious woman was. He just managed to work his way through the densely packed room when the announcement was made for all to begin to filter their way into the restaurant proper. He cursed under his breath and allowed himself to be moved with the crowd inside. He’d found his table easily enough and was quickly pulled into conversation. He caught glimpses of the mystery woman throughout the night but never quite managed to catch up with her.

 He’d managed, however, to catch Zawe on her own and, despite feeling very much like a desperate twelve year-old, ask her about her earlier companion. Confusion flitted across Zawe’s features for a moment before understanding seemed to dawn. “Oh! That was Cath. She is a doll. Worked with her on a few projects a handful of years back.”

 “Is she an actress then?”

 Zawe shook her head, “Nah. She works behind the scenes; hair and make-up. Talented as hell, that woman is.” He tried then to arrange an introduction, ignoring the odd regency undertones such a thing invoked, but the woman, Cath, had been nowhere to be found.

 Tom sighed, just as well then. He did his best to let the disappointment flow off his back and made a few more circuits around the room, smiling and talking with various guests before calling it a night. He had a flight to catch in the morning (an international one at that which tended to be a headache at the best of times), and while he could sleep just about anywhere, he wanted to have at least one last good night’s rest in his own bed. Hotel beds, and airplane seats for the matter, were never quite as comfortable as his own bed. A few moments later, Tom stepped out into the brisk October evening air and climbed once more into the backseat. He closed his eyes, resting his head back against the seat and allowed the hum of the car’s engine to lull him into a state of almost sleep.

Next Chapter

[winterisakillerwrites]

Get Better - Chapter Two

Title: Get Better

Chapter: 2/18

Character: Tom Hiddleston/Cath Richardson (OFC)

Genre: Romance

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: Love. Companionship. Family. These are all of the things Tom Hiddleston desperately wanted. But his life and his choices left that a distant and unlikely prospect. So he did his best to move on and live his life as is. When an opportunity to return to the theater arises, he jumps at the chance and along the way finds that maybe, just maybe, those distant and unlikely prospects are closer than he could have imagined. Sequel to Brave Face.

Authors Notes/Warnings: So as I was writing Brave Face I knew that Tom’s story wasn’t over, even if that particular part of it was. And while I knew, more or less, what the overall ending to the story would be, its taken me a while to figure out the time in between. Thanks to @redfoxwritesstuff for letting me continually throw ideas off and at you. I still can’t fathom why you put up with it, but I am eternally grateful you do.

Previous

CHAPTER TWO

The heat of August gradually cooled into early September. It was with a twinge of nostalgia that Tom found himself sitting around with Joanna Hogg, Mary Roscoe, and Kathryn Worth discussing Unrelated. It had been his first film and therefore quite the learning experience. But one that he remembered fondly. Later that same week he’d found himself on a red carpet and then on a stage presenting an award to a man he’d first seen on a big screen in a film he adored, and feared, as a young boy. The same man he later had the pleasure of working with in another film in Australia of all places. Funny thing time, he thought smiling as he stood beside Jeff Goldblum, chatting about life and film and the world. It still brought him up short the chances and opportunities he’d been blessed with in his career. Funny, sometimes painful, but wonderful all the same.

And now he found himself once again waiting on the side of another stage, adrenaline coursing through his veins. He chatted amicably with his fellow actors and readers, waiting for the signal from the now closed double doors. He could clearly hear the excited murmurings of the crowded auditorium and felt the familiar nervous energy bubbling in his gut. It was the same feeling he got anytime he’d prepared to walk onto a stage or a set. It was an old friend at this juncture and one he both missed and dreaded.

When he’d been approached with this project two months back, he had all but jumped at the chance. Getting not only to read but debate with fellow actors and writers over literature he’d loved for years, to be able to perform and share that love with others. It would a nice testing of the waters, so to speak. He hadn’t been on stage in a performer sense in over a year, and hadn’t done something of this nature since school. It had seemed like an interesting challenge and one he couldn’t see turning down. Rehearsals had been full of laughter and amusement.

Tom was sharing the stage with several talented actors; amongst them an actress in talks to join him in the Pinter production he was very much looking forward to in the New Year. Zawe Ashton was her name and while he’d seen bits and pieces of her work in the past, she was not someone he’d had the pleasure of working with beforehand. He found her funny and a delight to play off of. She had a wicked sense of humor that went very much along the lines of his own. And what was best was she hadn’t seemed to give a toss who he was. Yes, she’d known his name and was familiar with his work, but none of that seemed to matter to her. He could very easily see them getting along quite well during a grueling show run. If things went well tonight and the following week at the gala, then schedule permitting she would be a shoe-in for the role of Emma.

Beyond the doors, a hush fell over the crowd and he could see the lights begin to dim. Not long now. He could feel the tension and excitement running through their small group as the talked and laughed amongst themselves.

“Alright, places,” the woman manning the door called. Tom took a deep breath and walked through the doors and onto to the stage.  

The debate itself seemed to fly by and Tom found that he had enjoyed himself immensely. His competitive nature was certainly getting its chance to shine and he was absolutely delighted when his team, the correct team as far as he’d been concerned, won. They’d taken their respective bows and headed off stage in ones and twos. “That was absolutely fantastic,” Zawe breathed, smiling as she turned back to face Tom.

“Oh completely. I haven’t had that much fun in longer than I care to admit.”

Zawe laughed in earnest. “Same.”

They were ushered around the auditorium and handed collection buckets before being let loose to collect as much money for charity as they could. Tom had smiled, laughed, and talked with as many people as he could; never fully able to turn off the ‘public Tom’ persona he’d worn for so many years now. It was him, in a way, but more like a perfectly sculpted mask. Something he could slip in and out of depending on the place and the company he kept. In the past he’d been more open, more playful and less guarded with how he spoke and acted, but time and experience had taught him to pull back. To keep a respectable distance between who he was and who he was expected to be. To still be warm and engaging, but to never cross that line. It had been a difficult lesson to learn.

It was with a grateful sigh that Tom folded himself into the backseat of the black cab, leaning his head back against the seat rest. He watched with half lidded eyes as the brightly lit streets of London flitted past. He loved the city; loved its hustle and history. It was one of the main reasons he still lived in the converted terrace he’d owned for several years now when he could so easily have moved to California like so many others had before him. London held his heart in a way very few other places had.  

He blinked in momentary confusion as the cab slowed to a stop. It took far longer than he cared to admit to realize that he was, in fact, home. With a warm smile, Tom paid his fare and lumbered slowly to the black gate surrounding his home. He absently entered the code, pushing the gate open and heading up the dimly lit walk to his door. From behind it, Tom could hear Bobby’s excited barking and smiled to himself. It wasn’t quite the welcome home he’d longed for, but it was nice to have someone waiting for him. He made quick work of the lock and slowly pushed the door open.

The spaniel’s barking increased in pitch and volume, jumping and wagging his tail as if his life depended on it. Tom sighed and shook his head. “Alright you heathen, let’s get you outside.” More excited barking followed as Tom padded through the hallway and into the kitchen towards the back door into the garden. While Bobby rummaged around outside, Tom filled his food bowl and topped off his water bowl. “Come on now, food’s ready!” he called out the door to little effect.

Tom let out a grunt of exasperation and headed out into the dimly lit back garden. Bobby was snuffling around the bushes at the far end of the garden, telltale small piles of dirt surrounding him. Tom grumbled under his breath and yelled for the dog again. Reluctantly, Bobby heeded his master’s call and trotted back up the yard and into the kitchen.

“You, my friend, are very lucky indeed that I am as fond of you as I am.” Bobby raised his head from his supper bowl and gave Tom an astonished look before returning to his meal. Tom merely shook his head and headed back through the house and towards the stair case to the upper level and bed. He stripped mechanically, making a brief stop in the bathroom to wash his face and clean his teeth, before falling into bed.

The next morning dawned bright and cool. Tom stretched his arms above his head, a jaw cracking yawn echoing through the sunlit room. Bobby, who had been curled up contentedly at the edge of the bed, raised his head. He’d tried, when the spaniel was younger, to keep him downstairs in his own crate overnight. It had lasted all of about the span of a week for the puppy’s pitiful cries to break Tom’s resolve and allow him into the bedroom. ‘Just for the night,’ he’d sworn. And now nearly a year later, it was quite clear Tom had lost that battle.

With determination, Tom pushed himself up and out of the bed, padding down the stairs and into the kitchen, Bobby quick on his heels. He opened the back garden door and let the spaniel out, turning his attention towards the coffee press and feeding his much needed caffeine addiction. He set to work boiling his kettle and gathering the bag of coffee from the cabinet above the sink. Tom took great pleasure in setting about brewing his morning coffee, loving the way the strong, warm scent filled the kitchen.

Once it had brewed he poured the steaming liquid into his mug; a green one with a chip in its lip, one that Amy had given him. The thought of her still stung, though the pain had lessened throughout the intervening years. He still missed the life they’d had…Still bitterly regretted the stupid and selfish choices he’d made that had broken them. But he had slowly begun to come to terms with them and, in turn, with himself. Little things still caught him off guard but he’d learned to accept them and to try to move on from them. It was a hard road but one he was beginning to believe he could navigate on his own.

Coffee doctored to his liking, Tom headed out into the back garden. He lowered himself into one of the wooden patio chairs and watched Bobby run around like mad chasing squirrels. It was a wonder any still dared to enter the garden with how valiantly Bobby guarded his territory. That dog was a menace and Tom loved him dearly for it. Closing his eyes, he savored the warmth the bloomed inside him as he sipped the gently steaming mug in his hands. There were many things he could make do without, coffee was most definitely not among them. He took his time, enjoying the sun on his face and the slowly dwindling coffee in his mug. His stomach grumbled, reminding him that man could not survive on coffee alone.

“Bobby!” He called, pushing himself to his feet. The spaniel, paused mid-bark and turned to face his master. “Come.” Tom laughed as the spaniel broke off into a mad dash towards the door, nearly knocking him off his feet. Apparently someone was wanting his breakfast as well. Once kibble was added to Bobby’s bowl, Tom turned his attention towards his own meal; a quick toast and egg would do. He’d glanced at the clock above the stove when he’d entered the kitchen and found it to be well after nine. He would need to get moving soon, especially if he wanted to get a decent run in before heading into town to meet Emma.

Not bothering with a shower, after all what would be the point if he was just going to end up a sweating mess again, Tom changed into his running kit and slipped into his trainers. He thundered down the stairs and towards the front door, grabbing Bobby’s lead from the key hook. Bobby, sensing walkies were afoot, was standing at the front door and began to twirl in tight little circles as Tom approached. He laughed and hooked the lead to the spaniel’s collar before leading them both out the door and into the crisp, late morning air.

Several circuits around the neighborhood and nearby park helped to clear his head and focus his mind. He loved running, loved being able to lose himself in the rhythm and peace of it. It was the one pastime he could do anywhere and had been a godsend on long and grueling shoots. Tom was, in fact, a sweating mess when he and Bobby pushed their way back inside the house. Unclipping Bobby, and patting him playfully on the back, Tom climbed the stairs two at a time, stripping his clothing as he went.

He showered quickly, enjoying the feel of the steaming water on his protesting muscles, and padded back into his bedroom to dry and dress. A quick glance at clock on the bedside table told him it was half eleven. With a grunt, he pulled on a pair of jeans and his well-loved blue jumper, which he noted with a fair bit of disdain was starting to get a hole in one of its sleeves. He ran a quick comb through his damp hair and shoved his feet into the grey boots he’d had for nearly as long as he could remember.

Another quick glance at the watch he’d fastened onto his left wrist as he pounded down the stairs told him he needed to leave, and quickly, if he had any hope of meeting Emma at the restaurant she’d chosen on time.

“Shit,” he cursed at himself, ushering Bobby into the back room and his kennel.

Things situated, Tom grabbed his wallet and keys from the hallway table and darted out the front door. He considered trying to cab it in, but all things being equal and knowing London traffic far too well, he dismissed the matter out of hand; the tube was often a great deal faster than the car.

Forty minutes later, Tom dashed into the warmth of the fairly busy café; woolen coat open and breathing heavy. He’d made a mad dash from the underground station once the train had finally come to a stop. He was late and Emma was sure to give him hell about it. He scanned the room, finally resting on her strawberry blonde head at a table in the corner.

She smiled up at him as he took the opened seat across from her, leaning over to kiss her cheek. “I’m dreadfully sorry. I lost track of time and…”

Emma simply rolled her eyes and held up her hand. “Tom, the day you show up to a non-work event on time is the day I know the world’s ending.”

“Oh ha ha,” he retorted, shaking his head. “I’m only what, ten minutes late?”

She snorted, “Only…But I guess coming from you that is actually pretty decent. I was honestly expecting at least twenty minutes.”

Tom looked up at her, affronted. True he did tend to run slightly behind if not harassed, but surely not that badly and with such consistency? “I am not that bad.”

“My darling brother, unless you’ve got someone there to push and pester you, you are indeed that bad. Need I remind you of mum’s birthday last year…?” Emma quirked an eyebrow at her brother as if daring him to challenge her.

He scoffed. “That was once time…”

“And I can list at least a dozen others offhand, if you’d like. My wedding, Sarah’s wedding, last Christmas, the Christmas before…I could go on,” Emma countered. “But I don’t have all day. I left Jack minding Alice and while I love that husband of mine, our offspring has been cutting a new tooth and has frankly been crankier than you on a bad day.”

Tom narrowed his eyes in mock annoyance. “Why are you always such a brat, Brat?”

“Because someone needs to put you in your place, brother dear. And since I am here, I guess that leaves me.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief as they locked on Tom’s. “Lord knows you aren’t going to manage it yourself and Luke’s earned a break don’t you think?”

The teasing volleyed back and forth throughout their meal. It had been a good while since he had done anything with his baby sister, save for larger family gatherings. She’d been busy between the chaos of new motherhood balanced with local and national theatre work and he’d been in and out of the country with promotional work. He smiled as he watched her talk, the way her face lit up as she told him about the latest thing his tiny niece had done or the mishap she’d had with a prop during a sold out performance. It was difficult to reconcile the grown woman before him with the bratty little sister she’d always been in his eyes, but it was wonderful all the same.

“Oh,” Emma started, placing her half-drunk mug of coffee onto the table. “Have you talked with mum recently?”

Tom shook his head, “Not in the last week or so? Has something happened?” He leaned forward, anxiety clearly painted across his features.

“No. No, she’s fine. She’s just trying to get things sorted regarding Christmas.”

“Christmas? It’s barely October,” he countered.

“Which I tried telling her, but alas, she wants to get everyone together this year and with you and Sarah and your insane schedules, she figured starting sooner rather than later would make sense.”

Tom laughed and shook his head. He loved his mother, loved her dearly, but she was a planner. Had been his entire life. And the holidays were her weakness. They had always attempted to gather for Christmas, with varying success; between Tom’s own insane schedule over the last several years and Sarah and her family living and working in India, it was rare to have all three Hiddleston siblings under one roof. And as inane as it sounded, Tom could see the sense in her trying to plan so far in advance.

“…usual nonsense. And she is thinking of trying to have Amy and her family around on Boxing Day.”

Tom blinked in confusion as Emma’s words sank in. “What now?”

“Mum is talking about inviting Amy, Teddy, and their little one over for either lunch or dinner on Boxing Day.”

His heart clenched at the mention of Amy and her husband but slowly relaxed as he let out a breath.

“Is she now?”

While he’d run into both Amy and her husband on several occasions since the wedding, the idea of spending time with them in his mother’s home felt…strange. Not as unbearable as it would have been even a year ago, but still strange. ‘And their little one.’ He’d known they’d been expecting, Emma had mentioned it months back, but hadn’t really let himself think on the matter. He was…happy for her, for them both, even if they idea set uneasily in his gut. And it wasn’t the idea that it should have been him, he’d long since come to terms with that, more so a longing. Something he’d felt when he looked at Sophie as she held either of her and Ben’s sons. Stupid and selfish, but very much real.

Emma nodded. “Henry will be four months by then and mum is desperate to meet him.” She sighed, “You’d think she didn’t have any grandchildren of her own with the way she’s acting.”

Tom shrugged. “You know mum, she always had a soft spot for Amy…”

“That she did,” Emma echoed. “But still…The nerve of the woman.” They both chuckled at that. “So just be aware that she’s most likely going to call and pester you.”

“I don’t doubt that for a single moment,” Tom laughed. “Has Sarah said if they were coming yet?”

Emma took another sip of her coffee and nodded. “Yeah, they should be able to come. You are the wild card at the moment.”

Tom stroked his beard with his free hand. “I should be able to come…As of now I don’t think I have anything that would make that impossible. The con in Phoenix isn’t until the new year…I’ll double check with Michael and Luke to make sure.”

“I still cannot believe people pay actual money on purpose to meet my dork of a brother. Cannot wrap my head around it.”

He chuckled, “It’s still strange for me, Em.”

“I bet.” She paused and pulled her mobile from her purse, glancing at the screen. “And on that note, I have to run. It’s nearly three and I promised Jack I’d be home before four.” She reached for the bill their server had left on the edge of the table but Tom beat her to it, flashing her a warm smile.

“My treat,” he said in way of explanation.

Emma shot him a pointed glare, “You are a menace, you know that right?” She pushes her chair back and pulled on her coat.

Tom chuckled, climbing to his feet himself and pulling his sister into a warm hug. “Give Alice a kiss for me and give Jack my best.” Nodding, she slipped her bag over her shoulder and headed for the door. Tom followed behind, pausing to pay the bill before venturing into the chill of the late afternoon and home.

He spent much of the following week juggling the things he’d been putting off. He’d called and visited his mother; and she, as Emma had predicted, pestered him about his schedule around Christmas. He’d assured her, with back up from Luke, that he was indeed free and would most definitely be coming home this year. He’d also started sorting through his clothing and washing and packing for his trip to the states. He found himself both excited and wary for the trip. Conventions could be a thoroughly enjoyable experience; he’d had several wonderful ones and had enjoyed interacting with fans at the events. But just the same they could be draining and demanding. Sometimes it seemed, no matter what he did, it wasn’t enough. Tom hoped for the former this time around.

                                                           —

The evening of the gala celebrating the life and work of Harold Pinter arrived far sooner than Tom had anticipated. He was excited and anxious and terrified all at once. He’d been so wrapped up in trying to organize his life and make sure he had his lines memorized, that when the driver rang the bell on his gate he’d stood staring in complete confusion for several seconds before realization dawned. God, feared he’d lose his head if it weren’t attached. Tom had been approached for the event shortly after talks began regarding his involvement in reviving Betrayal in the West End. He’d agreed almost immediately, looking forward to sharing the stage with several talented actors and testing out the material on stage before fully committing to the play. The nervous energy had run off him in waves as he’d darted upstairs and dressed quickly. Thankfully, Luke had seen to having his suit pressed and waiting in his closet. Tom dressed in a mad dash before heading back down stairs and out to the waiting car.

It was half past five when Tom slid into the leather backseat, apologizing profusely for his tardiness. Luke would murder him if he were late. As the car started off, Tom pulled out his mobile, shooting his publicist a quick message that he was on his way. It most likely wasn’t necessary, but Tom knew Luke liked to be kept in the loop as much as possible. Shoving his mobile back into his pocket, he turned his attention back to the present. He made small talk with the driver as they moved along, chatting about the weather and later about the dismal amount of traffic they’d run into. They’d pulled aside the theatre half an hour later and once he’d climbed from the car, Tom was ushered inside and backstage. He chatted with Zawe and several other familiar faces as they waited for the theatre to fill and for the start of the evening.

Things had been going rather well, in Tom’s humble opinion until he’d gone to grab his folder and managed to slice his thumb open. He’d stared, dumbfounded, at the welling blood before he was rushed towards the side of the room and quickly patched up. “Score one for my dumb luck,” he joked as he once again picked up his folder, this time taking much greater care. His scene with Zawe had gone off splendidly. They played well off each other and he looked forward to working more with her, providing she was willing and able to commit to the run.

Bows taken, they were all rushed backstage and then quickly to their waiting cars to be driven to the Brasserie Zedel for the after party. Once arrived, Tom walked the short carpet and took his time talking with the various reporters encamped along it. He enjoyed talking about not only Harold Pinter and the fun he’d had that night but of theater and acting in general. He knew, without a doubt, that he was allowing his inner theatre and literature nerd run amuck, but couldn’t find it in him to care.  

Tom mingled with the arriving guests. He caught sight of several familiar faces and did his best to talk with them all. As he allowed himself to scan the room once again, he found his eyes drawn to the short dark haired figure talking animatedly with Zawe. She was all of five foot nothing in her heels but commanded the attention of those around her as though she were much, much taller. Her dress was navy in color and came to mid-calf, clinging to her curves in ways that made Tom desperate to trace with his own hands. Her dark hair hung in a low, loose pony over one shoulder. She tossed her head back, laughing at something Zawe had said and the sound that echoed from her lips was captivating even from such a distance.

Stealing himself, Tom made to start for the both of them, wanting nothing more than to know just who this tiny, vivacious woman was. He just managed to work his way through the densely packed room when the announcement was made for all to begin to filter their way into the restaurant proper. He cursed under his breath and allowed himself to be moved with the crowd inside. He’d found his table easily enough and was quickly pulled into conversation. He caught glimpses of the mystery woman throughout the night but never quite managed to catch up with her.

He’d managed, however, to catch Zawe on her own and, despite feeling very much like a desperate twelve year-old, ask her about her earlier companion. Confusion flitted across Zawe’s features for a moment before understanding seemed to dawn. “Oh! That was Cath. She is a doll. Worked with her on a few projects a handful of years back.”

“Is she an actress then?”

Zawe shook her head, “Nah. She works behind the scenes; hair and make-up. Talented as hell, that woman is.” He tried then to arrange an introduction, ignoring the odd regency undertones such a thing invoked, but the woman, Cath, had been nowhere to be found.

Tom sighed, just as well then. He did his best to let the disappointment flow off his back and made a few more circuits around the room, smiling and talking with various guests before calling it a night. He had a flight to catch in the morning (an international one at that which tended to be a headache at the best of times), and while he could sleep just about anywhere, he wanted to have at least one last good night’s rest in his own bed. Hotel beds, and airplane seats for the matter, were never quite as comfortable as his own bed. A few moments later, Tom stepped out into the brisk October evening air and climbed once more into the backseat. He closed his eyes, resting his head back against the seat and allowed the hum of the car’s engine to lull him into a state of almost sleep.

Next

[rainesclan]

[Part Four]: Over My Head

Link to: [Series Masterpost], [Part One], [Part Two], [Part Three]

A/N: I  know I’ve said this at least seventy-two times but I really can’t thank y’all who are reading this enough! I’ve never been super confident in my writing so seeing y’all say you’re enjoying this cracked little fic melts my icy heart :’)  * as always, there should be a ‘read more’, but this will be tagged as ‘long post’ incase it isn’t working!

Series Tag List (feel free to ask to be added!): @nathansterling @j-ashtons @nathan-sterling @nevrakissed @sterlingbitch @nathansblazer @ash-beaumont @guilty-giggler

Description: Cariedee hears an interesting bit of conversation when she wakes up at the Alpha Theta Mu clubhouse and talks to Nathan about where they stand.

Words: 2,012

____

Even behind closed eyelids, the sunlight on her face felt blinding, and Cariedee rolled over with an exasperated groan once she was fully aware that she was awake. Her tight jeans from the night before somehow felt even less comfortable after having been slept in for hours, and her fingers caught on a matted tangle in her short blonde curls when she attempted to push her hair away from her eyes. It didn’t take long for a dull throb to start a steady rhythm in her temples, and she slowly peeled her eyes open to find herself tucked into an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room.

If it wasn’t for the Greek letters hanging on the wall above her, she was sure she would have had no real idea as to where she was, but after seeing them, it didn’t take her long to figure out that she must have been back at the Alpha’s clubhouse.

And that somewhere between kissing Nathan and ending up asleep at the house, there were at least a few hours that were completely blank.

Oh God...yeah, she thought to herself. I definitely kissed Nathan last night.

She was suddenly glad she was alone so that no one was there to witness the look of mortification that she was sure was showing on her face. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Nathan – if anything, she liked him a lot – but she barely knew him. The last thing she wanted to do was make the same mistake that she had with Chris only a couple weeks prior.

After taking a few minutes to collect herself she willed herself to stand up and shamble over to the closed bedroom door. She cracked it open in an attempt to stay as quiet as possible in case there were still people sleeping, stopping and letting her hand linger on the doorhinge when she caught the sound of two slightly muffled voices from the next room over.

“-and he just leaves it when he goes home for the weekend. Talk about being a little too trusting,” the voice that she recognized as Beau’s paused briefly after the statement. “This thing is like a goldmine of potential.”

“And what exactly are you planning on doing with this goldmine?” Kassidy’s voice inquired.

“Not sure yet. But it’ll be hilarious,” he clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, and Cariedee could hear the unmistakable clacking of fingers tapping on laptop keys. “I’m talking America’s Most Eligible Season Three levels of entertainment.”

“Oh God, don’t tell me you actually watch that garbage. You know it’s all staged right?”

“What? Kassidy. Kassidy. America’s Most Eligible is not staged.”

The conversation that had initially caught Cariedee’s attention seemed to fall to the wayside as Beau and Kassidy pivoted into a debate over the authenticity of reality television, and she took another few seconds to linger by the door and collect her thoughts. She admittedly had no idea what they had been talking about, but it didn’t stop a slight feeling of unease from settling in the pit of her stomach. Whatever it was didn’t exactly sound friendly, and with Becca’s warning still lingering in the back of her mind, she had to wonder if they were up to no good.

Without putting any more merit into the mildly intrusive thoughts, she left the room and closed the door behind her before heading downstairs and finding Nathan in the kitchen. The table was littered with used plates, half empty water bottles, and an open bottle of Tylenol, and he was wiping the counter down with a sponge when he seemed to hear her behind him.

“There you are. I was starting to worry,” he said, turning to look at her with a chuckle. “I’ll be honest, not many people can go shot for shot with Beau and live to tell the tale.”

“So that’s what happened?” She inquired, rubbing her temples as she took a seat at the table. “Judging by how I’m feeling, I was gonna guess ‘hit by a car’.”

“No. Almost though. You did stumble into the street on our way back here.”

“And let me guess,” she started with a small, teasing smile, “you were there to pull me out of the way of an oncoming car like a true knight in shining armor?”

“Naturally,” he confirmed with a cheeky smile of his own.

“My hero.”

Once her lightheadedness had faded to the wayside a bit, Cariedee began to pile the plates on the table into a neat pile to offer her help in cleaning up the kitchen. It was the least she could do, she figured, considering Nathan had let her stay the night in his bed when she drank too much to get herself back to the suite.

Nathan turned the sink back on, and as he wrung the sponge out under the running water, Cariedee sidled up next to him and grabbed an extra to begin washing one of the plates. The two exchanged small smiles, and he took the second from the pile to begin doing the same.

They scrubbed in tandem at the crusted chocolate on the stark white glass of the plates in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Nathan finally cleared his throat and spoke.

“So...” he started, taking a long pause before continuing. “How much do you actually remember? About last night, I mean.”

Cariedee could feel herself blush, and when a spurt of water splashed up from the plate and touched her hot cheek it was a welcome relief.

“I remember kissing you if that’s what you’re asking,” she managed.

While she consciously wanted to keep her eyes averted to avoid any awkwardness, there was a morbid curiosity that made her want to study his reaction. Did he feel as awkward about it as she did? Did he think it was just casual and therefore think nothing of it?

She wasn’t entirely sure, but when she snuck a peek at him from the corner of her eye as she continued to scrub at a spot that was already clean, she could swear she saw him blush as well.

“Well...yes,” he admitted with an awkward laugh.

This time when a silence hung between them it was much heavier and more uncomfortable than it had been before they had breached the subject at hand. Cariedee finally rinsed off the spotless plate and set it onto the drying rack next to the sink.

“Do you...I mean...is that...okay?” She sputtered.

“Of course,” he answered a little too quickly. “It’s beyond okay. You might be thinking the alcohol was playing a leading role in all of that, but if I’m being completely honest...I probably still would have kissed you had I been stone cold sober.”

“Oh.”

The blush that had previously just been tinting her cheeks spread down to her neck.

“That’s all?” He inquired. “Just ‘oh’?”

“I mean,” she paused long enough to formulate a coherent thought. “Honestly? I probably would have too. And maybe that’s stupid. Like really stupid.”

“Oh?”

“It’s just that I’ve made the mistake of getting in over my head with someone too fast before and it ended up kind of straining our friendship,” she explained. “And I don’t want that to happen with us because I really like you, Nathan. I like hanging out with you.”

He smiled warmly.

“I can assure you the feeling’s mutual.”

“So then you understand?”

“Of course. I’m definitely not opposed to the idea of taking a step back and getting to know you better,” he assured her. “I haven’t exactly been lucky in the romance department either, so taking things slow would probably benefit both of us.”

Cariedee couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m not sure how easy it is to believe that you have a hard time getting dates.”

“It’s not the ‘getting’ of the date as much as it’s the authenticity behind it.” He set the last dish on the drying rack before cutting the water off and looking over to her. “A lot of people – especially back home – had ulterior motives for wanting to date a Sterling.”

“They were more interested in the Sterling family money than they were in Nathan Sterling the person?” She asked.

“That among other things.” She realized she must have been wearing her emotions on her face when he paused and laughed a genuine laugh. “Don’t look so apologetic. I didn’t necessarily help myself either.”

As much as she wanted to ask, she bit the question back. He hadn’t pried about her jumping in too soon with who only she knew was Chris, so she knew it was only courteous to return the favor and not pry into his personal life either.

“Well then maybe this is a chance for both of us to do things the right way for a change,” she concluded with a small smile.

When he smiled back she recognized the look in his eyes. It was the same look he had been wearing the night before right before they’d kissed. Only this time he didn’t make a move.

“I think,” he started with the same smile, “I like the sound of that.”

____

The next few weeks of the semester came in went in a near blur. Cariedee spent the majority of her time balancing “researching” and writing for Professor Vasquez and taking care of her classwork. The little bit of free time that she did have was often split between spending time with her suitemates and with the Alphas.

She and Nathan had been honoring what they said about taking things slow as well. While they hadn’t been seeing too much of one another due to their differences in schedules, but the time they did spend together had been staying platonic and within the realms of getting to know one another. In fact, she had learned that the little quirks that he hid behind his “perfect” facade only made him that much more endearing.

It was the first day of October when Cariedee stood in Professor Vasquez’s office with her latest assignment, her eyes studying him as he read over the pages with his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He scribbled something in the margin of the last page before capping his pen and looking up at her with hands folded in front of him.

“I want you to go deeper,” he concluded. “What you’re writing...it’s superficial. Nothing that I couldn’t find out through watching Music Television. If I wanted to hear about the possibility of someone helping with an Alpha Theta Mu bake sale I’d watch Martha Stuart. I want to hear about the fratority from the inside. I want to see what’s beneath the surface. The darker side, so to speak.”

“There is no darker side, Professor.”

“Nonsense! You expect me to believe that an organization full of spoiled rich elites gets their kicks by simply baking cookies for Alzheimer’s research?”

“Believe it or not, real life isn’t always as dramatic or exciting as the movies,” she reminded him.

“Your naivety will be your downfall, Cariedee.” He sighed and shook his head, as if she was a lost cause not worth arguing with. “Just know that next week I’ll be expecting more than a happy-go-lucky story of baking cookies and whispers of sweet nothings.”

Her mouth opened to argue with him. She could practically feel the words creeping up in her throat. But before she could make a sound, she decided against it. If she had learned anything throughout the course of the semester, she had learned that trying to argue with Vasquez was the equivalent of trying to reason with a brick wall. He was entirely too stubborn to listen, and in a way, so was she.

So instead of dragging out their meeting any longer, she simply offered him the “yes, Professor” that she knew he had been looking for and went on her way, hoping to whatever powers may have been listening that a “story” would fall into her lap before next Tuesday.

[irwingiggling]

westbrook | pt. 2

[pt. 1 here]

A/N: Here’s part 2, hope you enjoy! xx

Summary: In which Ashton is one of the leaders of the Westbrook Dragons, a gang who often feuds with the Vipers for control of the streets. After hearing of her estranged father’s death, Marina comes to Westbrook to fix up his house and sell it. Coming from a privileged neighborhood, the last thing Marina expects is to move in next door to a gang’s hideout.

Word Count: 2,300+

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Mild language.

Marina sat on the uncomfortable, ripped couch, hands folded neatly in her lap. Her eyes scanned the room, taking in the dark red paint and dog-eared band posters that littered the walls. The blinds were partially closed, dusty, and an old, peeling gold colour that hadn't been fashionable for decades. One single light, enclosed by an industrial-looking rusted cage, buzzed away loudly in the middle of the room as it struggled to cast even a dim light against its surroundings. Marina sighed, tapping her foot impatiently against the stained carpet. 

"Look, if now is a bad time, I can always come back," she said. Obviously she had no plans to ever come back to this hellhole, but maybe this man would be dumb enough to let her go.

"You're not fucking leaving," he growled menacingly from his seated position near the door.

"Ok," she peeped quietly, gaze shifting to the floor. She couldn't bring herself to say anything more, figuring it would probably be safest to stay silent for the rest of her time in the room. After what felt like hours, she heard the faint growl of a motorcycle pulling up to the front of the house.

"The boss is back," he mumbled, mostly to himself, as he got up from his spot on a ripped leather office chair. "Now you stay right fucking here!" he yelled, pointing a finger at her for good measure as he moved towards the door. "If you move so much as an inch I swear to god I'll know about it. Got it?!"

She nodded quickly, not wanting to anger the scary tall guy any more than what he was already.

"Good." He slammed the door behind himself as he left, emphasizing his point.

She sighed, rubbing her face. How did she even get herself into these situations? Her feet ached from being in the heels, but she didn't dare take them off because she wasn't sure what awaited her. Maybe the opportunity would come where she could make a run for it and call the police? Or maybe she'd be held captive here for weeks?

She pushed those thoughts away and pricked her ears to see if she could listen in to the conversation outside. However, as desperately as she tried, she could only hear muffled voices.

A short while after, she heard two sets of footsteps walking down the hallway towards her. "She's in here," the man from earlier said. At first Marina shrank back as she saw the doorknob jiggle, but then she mentally slapped herself. Get it together, she told herself. You can talk your way out of any situation. Just stay confident and cool, she told herself, releasing the breath she'd been holding in.

At this moment, the door opened and a pair of honey brown eyes locked on hers. She instantly knew they belonged to the same person she'd seen driving by at the funeral. The lead motorcyclist.

He had messy, curly brown hair, and he was tall - at least six feet. A collection of tattoos littered both his left and right arms. He was wearing black skinny jeans, a plain t-shirt, and that familiar leather jacket that everyone seemed to wear around here. He was holding his black motorcycle helmet with his right hand, which he promptly deposited on top of the desk. The collection of chunky rings that he wore stood out to her, but what stood out even more were his fingers themselves. They were average in thickness, but abnormally long. With an inward sigh she thought about all the potential piano talent he'd wasted when he'd decided to take this terrible path in life.

"Hi," he began. He seemed friendlier, yet almost more serious than the man from before. If he wasn't the boss of this gang, he was definitely high up. She could feel the confidence and carefree, yet serious attitude that exuded from him. "I'm Ashton," he said, easily crossing the distance of the room with his long legs. He extended his right hand out towards her.

She nodded, shaking his hand firmly. "Marina," she replied, looking straight into his eyes. It was an assertive techinique she often used at the bank to get customers to believe she knew what she was doing (which she often, though not always, did). She figured it wouldn't work that well on Ashton, due to his dominant personality, but at least it would show him that she wasn't a pushover.

He nodded, chuckling slightly as he leaned back against the scuffed wooden desk, surveying her with his arms folded across his chest. "I have to say this doesn't happen very often. Some girl pushes her way right into our house."

"You own this place?" she asked, looking around skeptically. It didn't seem as though anyone had owned it in a long time.

"Well, not technically. But it's been one of our main bases for a while now."

"So what, you're some kind of gang?" she asked, eyes flitting to the logo that had been cut from a t-shirt material and pasted onto the back of the brown door. The same logo both of them were wearing on their leather jackets.

He smiled lightly, running a hand through his curls. "I guess you could say that. We're the Westbrook Dragons, and we run the streets around here."

"Awesome," she sighed unenthusiastically. "Look, I really didn't come here to chat, and I don't even care what drug deals you guys are doing, even though I'm sure they're super illegal. I just wanted you guys to turn your music down. If you let me go, I'll leave you alone. I just wanna sell my dad's house and get out of here, I'm not planning on staying long."

"Good," he said curtly, picking up on her tone. "Glad to know we won't have any problems with you." He stood up and grabbed the door handle, opening it wide and gesturing for her to exit.

"Really, I can go?" she asked, jumping up, hardly believing her luck.

"Sure. But I'll be watching," he said quietly, staring at her as she passed by him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, staring back at him.

He chuckled lightly, turning his head slightly to examine her. "You'll see."

Well that's just excellent, Marina thought to herself the next morning, sighing as she put in a pair of diamond earrings. She looked at herself in the mirror, tucking a strand of hair behind her right ear just so, and smoothing out her cream blouse and grey pencil skirt. Trust her father to live next door to a drug house - she couldn't even imagine what this would do to the already mediocre property value if word got out.

Her mother had already scheduled to have a realtor visit today to give an initial appraised value. They would also be able to discern what specific updates were needed to get the property to sell the quickest, and at a fair price.

She looked out the window, at the house next door. It was such a huge eyesore, she sighed. In fact, at that moment, she saw a man loading a duffel bag filled with god knows what onto the back of a motorcycle, before speeding off. She groaned. This was really not what she needed right now. If the realtor saw that, it was an instant price slash. She decided there was only one thing to do. She'd mostly recovered from her traumatic first encounter with the neighbours last night, and decided there was no harm in going back and giving them a piece of her mind. She’d be damned if she let some lowlife gang members screw up her business plan.

She knocked on the front door loudly, and quickly took 10 steps back, taking care to avoid the collection of motorcycles and dilapidated cars that scattered the driveway. No way was she standing close enough to be dragged into that dungeon again. The door opened shortly after, and the same guy with the colourful hair opened it.

He smirked, amused at the distance she'd created between herself and the house.

"Don't fucking try that shit on me again, buddy. I'm staying well away from you."

He looked at her with a half-smirk, leaning against the door frame.

"I came over to tell you and the rest of your gang to keep it presentable around here. I'm having a real estate agent come by later today, and I don't want any drug deals or other weird shit going on, alright? I'm sure you're not aware, but disclosing that your house is beside a gang doesn't exactly increase your property value," she said, crossing her arms. "And the sooner that house is sold, the sooner I'm out of your hair."

"Is that it?" he yawned, looking disinterested.

"I'm serious. I'm not scared of you guys, if that's what you think."

He actually laughed at her. "I don't think you even know the half of what we're capable of. Our boss was feeling very forgiving when he let you go, but next time you might not be so lucky..." he trailed off, moving the hem of his flannel shirt back as he rested his hand on his hip, exposing what looked suspiciously like a gun tucked into his belt.

She stood there, trying to keep her cool demeanour. Of course she was scared. She was scared shitless. Her all-girls private school didn't exactly prepare her for how to negotiate with armed drug dealers. She sent him as menacing of a glare as she could muster, and, figuring it was better to keep her mouth shut at this point, she turned on her heel and walked briskly back up the driveway.

"There," Marina said to herself with a satisfied smile as she set the last vase of flowers down on the kitchen table. After her second encounter with the Dragons' security, she'd spent the rest of the morning grocery shopping - since she was going to be living here for a little while, she might as well make herself at home. She also got her mother's recommendation for one of the nicest flower shops around Westbrook. She knew how much some flowers and house plants could spruce up a place, and even though she realized the house wasn't the nicest - a far cry from her mother's estate, or even their whimsical summer cottage on the lake - she still wanted to make a good first impression with the realtor, all the same.

It was now just 10 minutes from when the realtor was scheduled to show up. She took one last look around the entire place, making sure she'd done all the cleaning she needed to, and that all the flowers and plants were positioned perfectly. She heard a knock at the door and froze. He was early! She quickly trotted over to the door, heels clacking loudly against the weathered hardwood floor.

She fixed her hair one last time, and put on a large, approachable smile, before opening the door.

Her expression quickly fell when she saw who was actually there. None other than the gang leader from yesterday, Ashton, stood on her doorstep. This time he was wearing his leather jacket around his waist, paired with some black skinny jeans and a cutoff muscle tee. He took the pair of round sunglasses from his face, and peered down at her.

She wasn't sure how you greeted a gang member, so she stayed silent, keeping her hand firmly against the door so it only opened part way.

The first sentence that left his mouth was not what she was expecting to hear. "Why do you wear those fucking heels all the time?" he asked, staring down at her feet.

She scoffed lightly, instantly offended at his choice to ridicule her footwear. "Because I'm a lady. I have to look presentable. What do you think the world would be like if we all walked around in leather jackets and scuffed boots?" she asked rhetorically.

Ashton narrowed his eyebrows, looking down at the leather jacket that rested against his hips.

She sighed. "I just meant-"

"Oh. Trust me, I know exactly what you meant," he said sharply.

"Look," she began, mirroring his tone. "I'm not hear to cause trouble. I'm just here to fix up the house, sell it, and leave. Believe me, I don't want to be here any more than you want me to be here."

"Glad to hear, princess."

She rolled her eyes at his childish response. This Ashton guy was definitely getting on her nerves. "Look, I have a realtor coming in 10 minutes, and I can't have you anywhere near here," she snapped, giving him a shove.

The side of his mouth quirked up into a half-smirk, like he found her actions funny. "Is that so?" he asked, leaning forwards, causing one of his unruly curls to fall against his forehead. "Well you'll be happy to know that I just came over to tell you that, like I said yesterday, I'll be watching. For as long as you're here, I'll be coming over unannounced to make sure you're keeping your promise."

"What promise?" she demanded, crossing her arms against her chest.

"That you'll be keeping our location secret, and that you won't be telling any of your little friends from your hometown, especially your mom, what's going on here."

"How- how do you know about my mom?" she asked, her stony expression faltering.

He smirked, knowing he had her.

"Let's just say I... have my sources," he replied, staring at her intimidatingly.

Now she stared fiercely back, meeting his gaze. "Well fuck you too," she said bluntly. "I haven't done anything to you and now you're threatening my family?" she demanded, voice rising with every word.

He flashed her an annoyingly calm smile and a nod. "You have a good day now, Marina," he said, putting his sunglasses back on and turning away.

She let out a noise that sounded like an angry growl, and slammed the door closed. She was furious at this guy, and how he seemed to know how to push all of her buttons.

Meanwhile, Ashton smirked as he walked down the porch steps. This girl had some serious lady balls, even if she was a total prude.

[read pt. 3 here]

[grapsandclaps]

GRAPS AND CLAPS REVIEWS - FUTURESHOCK UNDERGROUND 31 #PACINPRESTWICH

Hello and welcome everyone to this edition of Graps and Claps taking me this time to Prestwich once again for Futureshock Wrestling Underground 31 to see the appearance of former WWE star and current Dragon Gate kingpin PAC as he was set to take on one of Futureshocks standouts in the form of Soner Dursun for whom in recent months had recaptured the form that he was showing in a Futureshock ring in 2017 - so anticipation for this match was at a high level for those in attendance, which I can happily say was very much a sellout with people standing at the back to get a view of the action. 

As ever, though before the wrestling was the pre-show festivities in Bury, as me and Geoff took our friend Andrew Campbell on a whistle-stop tour of the town's drinking scene as he had not visited it before. First pub was The Thirsty Fish Micro pub that is located next to Bury Bus Station, this small establishment was fairly packed with customers wanting to take a break from shopping on Bury's world famous market with a wide range of Cask, Keg and Ciders to wet the whistle - of which I tried two pints, first off being from Stod Fold Brewery - West Coast Pale Ale (4% £3) which was a nice light starter but rating nothing above average for this drink. However, the pint of Moorhouse Sabbath Flight IPA (5% £3.40) was a more Moorish drink that hit all of the right notes. Even though this place is tucked away from most of the other pubs in Bury, it is certainly one to visit on your travels!

Next stop as ever on a walk around Bury was The Trackside who finished No.2 in the 'Pub of the Year' for Graps and Claps offering a good range of local ales ranging from your 3.8% pales to 12% Barrel Aged Stout this is a good place for the beer connoisseur. My pint for the half an hour or so we was here for was a pint of Torrside Marynka Hazy Pale Ale (4.5% £3.20) that was quite fruity in taste, on the other hand Andrew's 7.4% stout was a bit too strong in barrel aged taste. Next pub was just the 1-minute walk to The Clarence which is home to Silver Street Brewery, plus a range of other ales, cocktails and a good fine dining experience which it has won awards for - a far cry from when it used to be a proper local shithole that I frequented on many a Thursday night. Only the one pint here from Scottish Brewery Inveralmond 'Bard' (4.6% £3.75 with a CAMRA discount), that I would give a 6/10 - proper solid malty drink!

With the time coming up to half 4, we then visited two more pubs before taking the tram to Prestwich. First being, Wyldes which is under the Joseph Holt's banner. Recently this place has had a refurbishment, now offering pizzas on order and plenty of TV Screens showing the afternoon's sport which to be honest has added a bit more character to a pub which was always generally quiet when I used to go regularly. Siding with a pint of Nethergate Glory (3.8% £2.57) as it was the only one on the bar I hadn't had, we finished this off quickly, before moving on to the last stop being Automatic which is ran by the same people who run The Clarence, another fine dining place, but it does sell a good range of cask ales and a big range of whisky's if that is your tipple of choice. I myself though, went for a pint of Three Brothers APA (4.5% £3.25) that was just passable - still though well worth a visit - I certainly recommend the food here of what I can remember from my only Valentines Day in this building (yes I am still bitter - ha! Jilted Ex)

Drinks done, we arrived in Prestwich at 6:05pm only to be greeted with a huge queue outside the Longfield Suite with not much sign of it moving. We were all ready to queue, but we were greeted with the presence of Shauna who we hadn't seen for a few weeks since WXW in London (amazing to think we seemed to see each other every week), so with Shauna in tow we went for a quick drink in the Railway and Naturalist as we waited for the queue to whittle down, which it duly did when we got back in for 6:30pm. Initially though we stood up at the back up until the third match, as eagle eyed Geoff spotted empty seats on the front row next to Shauna, so we took up base there for the remainder of the show. So, with that said let's get into what went down!

First up it was 'Mr Purple Pants' Isaiah Quinn taking on Henry T.Grodd, with the latter looking to build momentum as he looked to stake a claim once again to challenge Crater for the Futureshock Title. Grodd early on beat down on Quinn to floor The Guiding Light, that was until Quinn fit a face front slam on Quinn to get back in the game. However, that was about as much as Quinn would get in as Grodd hit a tilt-a-whirl slam to Quinn and soo finished off Isaiah with a BIG Lariat to get the three count. Grodd as he has been, is getting over very well with the Futureshock audience and in some people's eyes he should be the only to slay Crater and not John McGregor but that is debatable.

Up next was 8-man tag action with many of this writer's favoruite involved with the newly turned JJ Webb teaming with Big Joe, Damon Leigh and the Nordic Accountant Thomas Wolfe to take on Callum Corrie, William Regal's son Joe Bailey and The Young Guns (Ethan Allen and Luke Jacobs). Now The Young Guns here were hoping to get a much needed victory as they have been on the wrong side of things in the last three months losing to James Drake & Sam Bailey and also Big Joe and DDL (Big and Brave) and it would be a great start for the Guns as Jacobs was like a house on fire hitting rapid fire clotheslines and knees to anyone in sight. However as the match went on, it would be Big Joe who put the baddies in control, until Joe Bailey who was wearing his dad's hand me downs, hit a double underhook suplex to Joe to get the hot tag to Callum Corrie. Unfortunately for Corrie it didn't end too well as chaos ensued around the ringside area, leading to DDL and Joe finsihing off Corrie, as Damon hit the compactor to get the three count. Chalk up another one in the loss column for the guns, who will be hoping for better luck next time as they team with The Hurricane to take on Joe, DDL and Wolfe on March 17th at Stockport Town Hall.

3rd match was 'Serious' Kev Lloyd looking to soften up Crater who is due to take on his former team mate John McGregor on the 17th March at Stockport for the Futureshock Title. As the sirens sounded for Crater, so did the patter of feet going to the bar/toilet! Now when they look back at the record books, this match will say Crater won this match which he duly did using his plodding and ponderous offence to flatten Kev with a huge lariat for the three count in around 5 minutes. What it won't say will be what a shower of shit this match was and it wasn't Kev's fault as he is a very accomplished wrestler who I do feel deserves better than this! The reaction to Crater as Champion is being played out to total silence, which has been shown in the crowd wanting a change in the form of the more mobile pairing of Grodd and John McGregor - which we all hope will be sooner rather than later.

Grodd after this match tried to attack Crater with a spear but was thwarted as the big man knocked him down - BOOOOO!!!

Thankfully after that, we got back on track as we had 3-way action for the Adrenaline Title as Chris Ridgeway took on C.J Banks and the Champion Joey Hayes, with the latter wanting to hold to his ever growing title collection at the moment that would make the Ultimo Dragon jealous. Originally, as people might remember this was supposed to involve Ilja Draguanov, but due to Dark Match duties in Coventry against my boy Ashton Smith he was otherwise engaged meaning Chris Ridgeway was his replacement. Hayes and Banks on the other hand have been tearing the house down at Stockport and Manchester, with possibly the first meeting being the best of the two! As a match, I thought this was possibly the best match of the night, with all three competitors producing a fun 3-way action that involved everyone at every moment, which generally you have one on the outside and the other two do the work - so at least this was something different from the norm. 

Lasting around 15 minutes, the end came when CJ Banks who was looking to finally topple Joey Hayes, ending up getting hit with the JKO to leave him laying on the outside leaving Joey and Ridgeway to battle it out of which Hayes got the better of it as he locked in the Cross Hayes to Ridgeway who tapped out to end a fine match. After the match we had a confrontation between Hayes and Banks who look set to have another war in the coming months.

We then went into the 15-minute break and half-time photos with Chris Ridgeway of which there were quite a few takers.

Back from the break we came back with John McGregor looking for a fight with a former Futureshock Champion as he looked to get validation from someone to if he is really going to be the man to topple Crater. Now rumours had been rife that a certain Jack Gallagher was going to answer the challenge as he had been tweeting from the National Football Museum in Manchester and that looked to be proven right when Gallagher's music sounded to a great ovation from the Prestwich audience, sadly though there was no Gentleman in sight as McGregor looked on and duly attacked from behind by one Sam Bailey - BOOOOOO!!!!

Obviously with the early attack, Bailey was on top for quite a lot of this match much to the groans of the audience, still though give Bailey his due he is still a capable of putting on a good match and it certainly looked at one stage that he would prove to be that bump in the road for McGregor, but maybe he got a bit cocky for his own good as he was hit with a Tornado DDT by a valiant McGregor who got the three count in a good match to prove that McGregor possibly does have it to defeat Crater next month.

Women's action next with Futureshock up and comer in this division Hollie taking on Taonga with the shrieking Alexxis Falcon in her corner. Now as mentioned on Futureshock's last show, both Taonga and Falcon got involved in Hollie's and Lana Austin's match causing a DQ so this was set fair for Hollie to get some much needed revenge on Taonga and Falcon. For the duration of this contest it has to be noted that Alexxis was being a constant nuisance on the outside especially with our section - sitting on my mate Andrew's lap, whilst also giving shit to me and Shauna, to her credit this did get a reaction from us lot - so well done! Falcon also got involved in the ring as well as Hollie floored Taonga with a Bazooka Knee, Alexxis came up from behind to hit Hollie with a high spin kick to leave Hollie laying, which then led to Taonga to hit the Unprettier for the 3 much to the boos of the audience. Honestly, I thought this turned out better than I though it would be - good stuff! 

After the obligatory raffle, we now come to the Main Event with Soner Dursun taking on 'The Bastard' PAC in what was set to be an absolute humdinger! You know what this did not disappoint anyone who bought a ticket with PAC bringing his working boots and so did Dursun who has been one of the underrated stars of the North West scene in the last couple of years. We had dives, strikes and high-octane action that kept the Prestwich crowd on the edge of their seats for the near 20-minute duration. Soner looked like he had PAC beat as he got a 2 count on a Spanish Fly as they soared through the air, it has to be said how great PAC looks with his shoulders looking like someone's kneecap - he has certainly not been on the pie and chips diet like me! PAC as well is just so fluid with his transitions from move to move, just a treat to watch.

As the match reached its conclusion, it would be the man from the North East who would get the win as he hit a 450 splash and then locked in the 'Rings of Saturn' to tap out The Turkish Wolf to end an absolute corker of a match, possibly my second best match of the year only after the Irie/Cobb match from Leeds last week - still this should be one you should search out when it comes on Futureshock On Demand. 

Show done, it time took make our way home, but not before having a quick chat to 442Dale and Chaff off the Rochdale Fan's Forum about Rochdale perilous position in League 1 and to whether Keith Hill should go - its a Yes from me! Making our way to the tram after walking past the huge queue to see PAC, we got back into Bury for 9:30pm as our wrestling weekend came to an end, with us now looking forward to Tidal's show in London on March 3rd. Anyways if you want to check out any matches from this show make sure you watch PAC vs Dursun and Banks vs Hayes vs Ridgeway.

As ever give this a like, retweets and share on the usual social media platforms and until next time - BYE!!

@oggypart3

#grapsandclaps

[imaginedeux]

Knight (Single Dad! Calum Hood AU) 5

A/N: I got some inspo from reading “The Perks of Being A Wallflower”, I couldn't come up with anything to write, and reading helps me write. So because school is starting on the 18th, so this might be the last one for a while. I hope you all enjoy. It’s over 3k words holy...

Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4

“It’s so good to be back in Los Angeles!” Michael yelled into the warm L.A. air as everyone got off the plane. After the conversation you had with Calum, it only took you a couple more days to completely get over the bug you caught, much to Aurora and Calum’s relief. Since then you’ve been flying to the last couple of shows in the US, seeing that they were all a right after each other, it only made it easier on all of you.

“Have you ever been to Los Angeles, (Y/N)?” Aurora asked from here you held her on your hip. Since you got better, she almost never left your side, and recently neither had Calum.

“No, i’ve never been so this is going to be an adventure.” You smiled adjusting the bags you had on your other shoulder. You still only had your one suit case, but now it was second nature to carry ‘Rora’s with yours, which you didn't mind. Until she started getting more things to take home at the end of tour, which was in a week or two, and it honestly scared you how close it was.

“Here, let me help you with that!” A familiar voice sounded from behind you, before you could protest, Calum came in and took both of your bags. “Im sure James and the rest of the security have told you how bad it gets, especially here in L.A.”

“I was told yes, which is why I was going to give the bags to one of the guards so they could put it with the rest of the luggage, but thank you.” You smiled walking ahead of the guys, starting to get ‘Rora distracted.

“You know she barely takes orders from James, much less from you right? The only one she listens to is Aurora” Ashton laughed as the rest of the group entered the airport.

“Yeah...” Calum chuckled adjusting his grip on your luggage along with ‘Rora’s.

“She has you wrapped around her finger mate.” Luke teased waving one his own. Calum would never admit it but, he was, he didn't really know what it was about her, but he couldnt help but smile when she was around, or when she was with Aurora. He felt like (Y/N) was able to complete the picture that he and Aurora were able to start. The times she wasn't able to help him tuck ‘Rora in bed because she had to do security detail with the rest of the guards, ‘Rora would ask him if (Y/N) was going to stay with them forever, like the way her Uncles are. He would tell her the truth that he wasn't sure if she was going to be on tour with them forever, but that she was going to be in their lives no matter what.

“GRANDMA!?” Aurora’s voice took Calum out of the trance he was in, to see the his family, and the guys’ waiting for them. Everyone went towards their respected families as he jogged over to his own and to (Y/N).

“Mum?” He asked giving her a hug as she hugged ‘Rora.

“Didn't expect us to be here did you?” His dad asked as he got ahold of his granddaughter.

“Seeing that there was a week between this leg and the last couple of shows in Oz, we thought we would pay you a visit.” His sister, Mali-Koa said bringing him in for a hug as he let go of his mom. “Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, i’m Calum’s sister, Mali-Koa, and you are...?” She asked seeing you stand off to the side awkwardly.

“Oh, um, I'm (Y/Full/N) I work as Security for the guys. Its finally nice to put some faces to the names Aurora talk about.” You said holding out your hand for a hand shake.

“Oh YOU’RE THE (Y/N), AURORA AND CALUM ARE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT, ITS SO NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU!” Mali gushed letting go of her brother to bring you in for a hug. You blushed at what she said, but gave her a hug nonetheless.

“Yeah! (Y/N), this is my Aunty Mali, and my Kuia, and Koroua!” Aurora said taking your hand before pointing at Mali-Koa, then Calum’s mom and dad.

“Kuia means grandmother and Koroua means grandfather in Maori.” Calum explained kneeling down to grab ‘Rora. “Since the family’s here why don't we all go out to eat? Do you like the sound of that baby?” He asked looking at his daughter, a huge smile on his face.

“YES! (Y/N), are you coming along?” She asked clapping, suddenly all eyes were on you.

“Um, I think i’ll pass love. You haven't seen your family in a long time, I don't want to get in the middle of it.” You said softly grabbing your suit case from Calum.

“But you are family...” Aurora replied just as softly, before she wiggled her way out of her father’s grasp and hung onto you, making sure you didn't leave. “Like Lilo and Stitch say, Ohana means family, and family means...”

“Nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” Calum finished taking back your suitcase.

“Come, join us for lunch, you can tell us the other side of the stories Calum and Aurora have told us. I’m Joy and this is my husband David by the way.” She introduced herself before bringing you in for a hug.

“So you served in the Army?” David asked as everyone entered the thresh hold of Calum’s house. Since Aurora was born, Calum decided to buy a house in L.A. since he knew he was going to be on this side of the world more often than not recording with the rest of the band.

“Yes Sir.” You replied, at the restaurant one of your old platoon buddies recognized you.

“Staff Sargent (Y/Last/N), how have you been Ma’m?” One of the younger guys in your platoon came up to the table you and the rest of the Hood family was at.

“Nice to see you too Private Lozano, how have you been? How’s the girlfriend?” You asked getting up from your seat giving him a quick hug.

“She’s Mrs. Lozano now, we got married a couple months back, I would have invited you but no one could find you, its like you dropped off the face of the Earth.” He laughed showing off his ring, before he realized he was interrupting something. “Oh, I’m sorry...”

“No it’s alright, this is the family for one of the guys I'm working for, they invited me out to eat. Calum’s the one i’m working for he's one of the reasons why I dropped off the face of the Earth. I started working as security for him and his band.” You gestured to him, he got up from his seat giving Private Lozano a hand shake.

“Nice to meet you mate.” Calum greeted him with a handshake.

“You have no idea how lucky you are to have her working for you sir. She always treated us like family. Believe it or not, she actually saved me during one of the missions we were on, I had gotten shot in the knee and once in the chest, so I couldn’t move. She came up from the rear and made sure I made it back to base camp, she used herself as a shield to make sure I didn't get hit more.” He explained putting his hand on your shoulder.

“You know I made an oath to you and the rest of the group that I was going to bring everyone back home no matter what.” You replied, a small smile on your face.

“ Even if it meant getting shot in the back three times. If it wasn't for her I probably wouldn't be here.”

“You never told us that story (Y/N)!” Aurora exclaimed reaching the couch in the living room.

“Because I never thought it was important love.” You replied taking a seat next to her, then quickly sat on your lap, her back leaning against your front.

“Well now we can see why she’s taken such a liking to you (Y/N).” Joy said taking the seat next to you. “You’re probably one of the strongest women I’ve ever met.”

“Oh, no, I’m not strong. I signed up for that job and I did the best I could in it.” You explained you never wanted to be a hero, you felt as if it was your duty to protect those who could not protect themselves.

“You said your armor protected you, so why did the man say you got hit in the back three times? Did they hurt? Did you almost die?” Aurora asked from your lap, looking up at you, genuinely worried.

“Oh yeah, well um, I used the armor to protect Private Lozano, so I was in more danger, but I didn’t die, so there’s nothing to worry about.” You easily lied to the little girl, not wanting to scare her. “So what movie do you want to see?” You asked looking at the movie collection she and Calum had.

“Hey (Y/N), can you come help me in the kitchen? Mum, Dad, and Mali, why don't you help Aurora pick out a movie or two we can all watch together?” Calum asked sticking his head out from the doorway to the kitchen. After Mali grabbed ‘Rora you quickly made your way to the kitchen where Calum was grabbing a couple of things to drink and started putting bags of popcorn to pop. “You alright?”

“Yeah, didn't expect for Lozano to be there and bring up that story.” You sighed leaning against one of the many counters the kitchen had. 

“Is there something else to that story that he didn’t bring up?” Calum whispered, scared to see if he asked something wrong from how quickly you started breathing. “Y-You don't have to tell me, I'm sorry I over stepped my boundaries.” He apologized quickly coming to your side to comfort you, bringing you in for a hug.

“N-No, its fine. J-Just don't tell anyone what i’m about to tell you, no one outside the people who took me to the hospital, and the people who saved me know this. U-um, while I got Lozano back to base camp, I ended up getting shot 6 times, three in the back, once on each thigh, and once on my right shoulder. By the time we got back to base, I had lost almost three pints of blood and was going into shock. I was in the hospital for almost a month after that, I died on the way to the hospital but they brought me back before they took me into surgery.” You confessed, your face buried into his chest, tears streaming down your face, you hadn't told anyone what really happened that day, you told the rest of your platoon that one of the bullets hit an important blood vessel and because of that you lost a lot more blood than normal. “I-I’m sorry you have to see me like this, that was the one time I was scared I wasn't going to come back out alive.”

“You’re human (Y/N), and we all cry sometimes. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that. I won't see you any differently, but it’ll make me appreciate you more, and not take you for granted.” Calum murmured into your hair as he embraced you, you weren't much of a hug type of person, but on occasion Calum would bring you in for one after you helped Aurora with something important.

“I’ll take the floor.” You called grabbing an extra pillow and blanket from the hall way cabinet. After you calmed down from crying to Calum and watched a couple of Disney movies, the Hood family convinced you to stay there at Calum’s for the next week. You would have said no, but there was no way Aurora was going to let you go.

“No, you’re the guest, there’s no way you're taking the floor. I will.” Calum said going to the bedroom from the connected bathroom.

“You haven't been home in months, there’s no way I'm letting you take the floor in your own home. I shouldn't even be here, I should have gotten a hotel before we landed, but I didn't know any of this was happening.” You argued coming into the room with the extra blanket and pillow. “Fucking-a Calum, you could have warned me you were shirtless.” You blushed looking away from the half naked Hood.

“I always sleep shirtless.” He chuckled trying to grab the blankets and pillow from you.

“Well, I always went to sleep after all of you did and I would wake up before you all did so I never saw you.” You explained tugging them back from his grip. “I’ll take the floor.”

“No, I will.” He argued back.

“No, I will Hood.”

“No, I will (Y/Last/N).”

“JUST SHARE THE DAMN BED!” Someone yelled from the door way. The two of you turned blushing to see Mali, looking annoyed that she was forced to get out of bed. “Just share the damn bed please, I can hear the two of you argue from across the hall.”

“Sorry Mali-Koa!”

“Sorry Mal...” The two of the blushed apologizing, Mali shook her head and left back to her room.

“Fine, but fare warning, I toss and turn in my sleep.” You confessed giving the pillow and extra blanket to Calum. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Imma go change.” You said grabbing some sweats and a shirt from your suitcase. You quickly changed from your jeans and black under armor shirt to some old running shorts and an old t-shirt turned biker tee, you usually just slept in your shorts and a bra, but seeing you were sharing the bed with Calum, you opted for the shirt.

“Hope you weren't expecting too much Hood.” You said coming out of the bathroom with your clothing in hand, ready to put it away.

“I was actually expecting you in sweats and a hoodie, so this is a pleasant surprise.” He mused from his spot from his side of the bed, leaning against the headboard. “Is that why you always wear jeans and a longer sleeved shirt?” He asked so softly he wondered if you had heard him. There were scars scattered around your legs and arms, most of them were small, but there were a couple that were easy to see from a distance.

“Yeah, the bigger ones are from missions at the end of my contract, and some of the smaller ones were from bootcamp.” You explained putting your clothes away, your left hand instantly went to your right shoulder. “The lighter they are the worse they were, one of the ones from the mission with Lozano almost completely destroyed my rotator cuff.” You said moving your shirt a bit, as you went to sit down with Calum, to show him the scar. You’d never shown anyone any of the scars before, sure sometimes when it got too hot to wear a baseball tee or a long sleeve you were forced into a t-shirt and a couple of old scars from the past four years would show, but none of them were prominent enough to cause questions.

“Are the other ones just as bad?” Calum whispered scooting closer to you, this was another side of you he’d never seen before. He never knew of how much you were hiding, he had see a couple of scars that were across your arms when you wore t-shirts, but was always scared to ask you about them. He was scared that he would end up pushing you away from him.

“The ones on my thighs aren't too bad, they just look like dimples in them.”

“Luke dimples or Ashton dimples?” He chuckled seeing a bit of the scar on the outside of your thigh.

“Ashton.” You laughed.

“What about the ones on your back? Wait, no, I shouldn't have asked! You don't have to show them to me!”

“Someone might as well see them, and you’re one of the only people I trust enough to show them to...” You chuckled turning your back to him, pulling your shirt so your left shoulder was visible. “That one bounced off one of the cars I pulled Lozano behind and bypassed the armor the vest had by a couple of inches, and hit my shoulder. Since it wasn't at its full force that one wasn't as bad. After that happened, I gave the vest to Lozano so he could shield himself a bit more, a couple of blocks away from base another one...” You started before you started pulling the back of you shirt up, before Calum helped you keep it at the base of your neck. “Thanks, um the one on my right, gave me a collapsed lung.” You explained before you could feel Calum barely touch the scar, which showed from the bottom of the bra. “It doesn't hurt Cal.” You chuckled at how gentle he was being. “I’m not going to break if you touch it.”

“Still, you’ve been through so much...” He whispered finally touching the scar, he knew you wouldn't break, but he knew what was once here almost killed you, and that scared him.

“That one didn't really scare me, cause people can live with one lung, but the one thats at the base of my back is the one who gave me the run for my money.” You explained as you touched the nickel sized scar that was just above the waistband of your shorts. “A couple of inches to the right, and it could have hit my spine, and I could have been paralyzed.” You sighed remembering what the doctor said once you came too after the surgery.

“Jesus, (Y/N)...” Calum murmured gently allowing his finger to run over the scar. “I knew from the very beginning that you were one of the strongest people i’ve ever met, but this shows how brave and selfless you are.”

“It was a part of my...” You started before Calum took you off guard and hugged you from behind, his arms easily wrapping around your stomach bringing you closer to him.

“Don't say it was part of your job, its just who you are, you want to protect others, you want to make sure everyone is okay, you make people feel a part of a family. (Y/N), I want to protect you as much as I can, Aurora loves you, the rest of the guys see you as a sister, my family love you already, and you just met them not even 12 hours ago. I honestly don't want to think of you leaving ‘Rora and I after tour is over.” Calum confessed nuzzling his head into your shoulder.

“I already told you, i’ll still be in your lives no matter what.” You whispered holding onto the back of his hand, your thumbs ran over his knuckles, a gesture the two of you became accustomed too over the past couple of weeks.

“Let’s make it a bit more concrete.” He whispered before giving your shoulder butterfly kisses.

“And how would that happen?” You whispered shivering a bit, you weren't use to too much intimacy, over the past couple of months the two of you would share hugs, and a couple of cuddle sessions with Aurora, but this was a new level for you.

“Well, first I would ask you to be my girlfriend, then I would ask you if you wanted to move in with Aurora and I once the tour is over.” Calum explained bringing you to him so his chest was to your back.

“Is this your way of killing two birds with one stone?” You asked starting to lean against him a bit.

“Yeah.” He chuckled, his laugh causing his chest to vibrate against your back, making you smile a bit.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, but let’s not tell anyone yet. I don't know how Aurora is going to react, I want to be able to tell her, and I want her to know that if she doesn't want me to be anything more than just (Y/N), I’ll be fine with that.”

“Okay, we’ll tell everyone when you want.” He smiled kissing the top of your head, happy to be able to call you his girlfriend.

[irwinkitten]

champion | c.h

pairing: boxer!cal x plus sized oc notes: first off, thank u to my lovely @calpops​ for making this moodboard for me. (eve ur the best). secondly, this has been a work in progress for literally months. pretty sure i sent a first draft idea to @cakesunflower​ and it’s only spiralled since then. thank you to everyone who has had sneak peeks and supported me as i wrote this beastie of a fic. i was gonna have smut but then i decided i couldn’t be bothered to write it lmao but i hope you all enjoy this fic regardless. I lowkey fell in love writing Arienne and I hope you all love her too. word count: 14k (will i ever not write so much, the answer is probably no.) warnings: mentions of violence

---

Ari had never been one to leave her comfort zone when it came to trying something new.

She would do what she could and then either abandon whatever idea she’d had or ditch out first chance possible. The only problem was, she couldn’t ditch out tonight because the one person who said they’d stick around, abandoned her the first chance possible, finding himself the seats with a girl he barely knew. And she was surrounded by people who were loud, obnoxious and quite simply put, terrified her.

She found herself being shepherded to one of the closed off areas by the boxing ring and watched in awe as people didn’t bother to check her ticket or ask who she even was. 

“Ring side seats girlie, don’t worry ‘bout it.” One of the managers-she’d assumed-told her when she tried to explain that she wasn’t with anyone who was partaking in the match. So for once, she decided to not look a gift horse in the mouth and watched as the spectators started to get more amped up for the match. 

More than once, people side-eyed her, a few questions being yelled at her. 

“Hey big girl, who you with? Because we’re pretty sure you ain’t here with the boxers!” Ari felt her face flush in embarrassment as she tried her hardest to ignore those remarks. But it was difficult when it caused more than a few looks to be sent her way.

The-assumed-manager stepped up.

“She’s here as a guest with me, shut the fuck up before I take you for twelve rounds myself.” The sneer on his face seemed to do the trick as the comments died down then and he turned to Ari, a smile on his lips. “I hope you don’t mind, I think that way you have a credible reason being here. I’m Ashton by the way.” Ari couldn’t believe her luck.

“It’s not like they’re yelling things I haven’t already heard. But thank you. I’m Arianne. Ari for short.” Ashton slung his arms across her shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. 

“Well they’re fuckin’ assholes. You here to cheer on my boy?” At his question, he watched as she seemed to take on a sheepish look.

“This is my first match I’ve ever seen. My friend, Paul, he got these tickets saying it was a birthday gift for me, but I know better. He ditched me the second some pretty little blonde wanted his attention.” She explained softly and Ashton frowned.

“I’ve barely known you five minutes doll, and I wouldn’t want to ditch you if I took you out for a treat on a day that’s meant to be your day.” Ari shrugged.

“Used to it.” The explanation had Ashton sigh before muttering under his breath.

“Well doll, looks like you’re about to get the best birthday treat. My fighter is Calum Hood, he’s against Darren Tarkston. And how about afterwards, since your so called friend ditched you for some little thing that ain’t gonna want him after she got what she wants, we take you out for a celebration?” 

And even with how he worded his request, Ari had a suspicion that he wasn’t about to take no for an answer. And he watched as she scanned the crowd, a hard look crossing her face before a sigh left her lips.

“Fuck it, yeah. Sounds like a better birthday than I’ve had in years.” And Ashton beamed at her a the ref stepped into the ring.

The first opponent was called out, the crowd yelling their approval as he stepped into the ring. Ari watched as he seemed to flex a bit too much, his eyes taking in the crowd that had been briefly lit up and a smirk on his lips.

“Show off.” She scoffed quietly. Ashton heard and didn’t bother to hide his laughter.

“He plays up for the crowd, but he’s sly. Cal is holding onto his title, but this kid could very well knock him down.” Ashton explained as the crowd died down once more.

The second that Calum’s name was called out, Ari cheered with the rest of the crowd, but the crowd was going absolutely nuts. And she could see why. 

He was handsome. Toned body that came with the job territory, tattoos and a smirk that made her own lips curve up as she yelled her support with Ashton. 

By round three, it was obvious to her at least, what Calum’s tactics were. Whilst Tarkston favoured over kill, trying to get as many punches in to cause a KO, Calum hit hard and fast, but sparsely. 

As they crept closer to the final round, Ashton went over to give words of encouragement to Calum, clearly saying something that caused Calum’s dark eyes to where Ari stood, a wide smile on her lips. His own twitched in response before muttering something in return to Ashton who beamed and she overheard ‘knock the fucker down!’ from Ashton before he returned to her side.

“He good?” The crowd was gearing up, getting louder in anticipation.

“Yeah, he’s looking forward to celebrating this win and your birthday. He loves a good reason for a party and a birthday celebration is always a favourite of his.” This had made Ari laugh as the bell rang and she watched as he seemed to gain a second wind.

She flinched away from the punch that he’d landed which she was sure broke Tarkston’s nose. But they kept going. For a second, it looked like Calum was going to hit the floor, but then he recklessly shot himself forward and Tarkston hit the floor. 

The bell rang again and the crowd erupted into screaming chaos, Ari joining in as Ashton wrapped his arms around her in joy.

“He fucking did it! Knew he could! C’mon, you’re with me till the place clears out.” And before Ari could argue, Ashton had taken her hand in his and was pulling her through the walkway towards the ring to collect Calum.

“I’m so fucking proud of you!” Ashton yelled as Calum descended the steps and seemed to throw his weight onto Ashton. “C’mon bud, we need you upright till we get to the back. I promise we’ll be going out.” The promise was enough to help Calum keep his body upright and momentum forward. 

He’d barely acknowledged Ari and she half smiled at the sight. She couldn’t blame him, twelve rounds with a fighter who clearly knew his stuff? Ari was impressed that he was still standing upright. 

As they reached the changing rooms, Ari slid to Calum’s other side, watching as his body sagged. He glanced at her, dark eyes frowning as she shifted his arm over her shoulders and then he remembered Ashton’s words before the knockout round.

“I bet you’d pack a punch on the wrong guy who tried to chat you up.” Were the first words that left his mouth and he wanted to hit himself. But she laughed softly as they finally got him to his area, setting him down on the bench as the rest of the team started to flood the room. A hand reached out, roughly grabbing Ari’s shoulder.

“You shouldn’t be back here ya cheap nasty.” The british accent threw Ari for a loop as she stumbled and Ashton’s hand seemed to shoot out from nowhere, steadying her from falling flat on her face.

“This is why you’re on your last warning Terry. You don’t fucking listen. I told you that Ari was with me, but no, that bit of information didn’t have big tits or a scrap of fabric covering her cunt.” He snapped and Ari watched as Terry flushed a dark red, his eyes dropping to a scowl.

“It’s not like I assumed she was a groupie. Too much of a fat fuck to be one of those.” The room went very quiet and Ari let out an exhale. 

“Cal, you know what you said earlier, as we were coming through?” Ari called over her shoulder, eyeing Terry carefully who didn’t seem to care as he stepped closer to her. 

“Hood is in no condition to come to any of your rescue.” Ari caught Ashton starting to move and she smiled at him, the smile disarming both him and Terry.

“That wasn’t what was asked of him.” 

“I remember what I said, doll.” At this, Ari’s smirk seemed to widen in amusement, the change in demeanour making Terry glance around. As he looked up from her eyes, over to Calum, her arm pulled back before snapping forward. There was a satisfying crunch followed by a variety of yells as Terry stumbled backward, shock on his face before he hit the floor.

“That attitude of yours won’t get you any kind of woman, big or small. Next time, ask me who I am fucking with before you decide to lay any kind of hand on me and be glad that I only broke your nose.” Ari stepped away, knowing that she was most likely about to get into trouble.

What she didn’t expect was a round of applause as Calum started laughing whilst he was being checked over. She could feel her heart racing in her chest as she looked up and found herself being met with a smug grin from Ashton, a beaming one from Calum and looks of awe from the rest of the team. 

“He’s had it coming to him for weeks. We had bets that Cal would be the one to knock him down, but you didn’t even hesitate.” One of the team members with ‘TRAINER’ printed on the sleeve of his t-shirt muttered. 

It took another minute before a noise escaped from him and Ashton had already sat Ari next to Calum, indicating to the medic that she needed to get her knuckles checked over ‘just in case’ he’d said. The medic didn’t argue, however as he finished up with Calum, a smirk on his lips as he moved to Ari’s giggling figure, he made sure to take his time, especially when Terry began making noise about not being seen yet.

“Ladies first, dirtbag. Also consider this your last match with Hood.” Ashton’s authoritative voice cut through the whining, Terry falling silent as he scowled at the floor.

“What, gonna hire the pity party?” Ari raised an eyebrow, snorting at the remark.

“Heard that one before, try again.” The few that had scowled at Terry for the comment, stared at Ari in shock. This girl who they’d barely met, and they already loved her.

“What about fat piece of job thieving shit?” Ashton opened his mouth to protest the comments, but Ari held her free hand that wasn’t being examined, up.

“If my weight is the only insult that you can come up with, maybe I knocked that second to last brain cell out, leaving you with one to try and think of a reasonable insult. I’ll kindly fucking remind you, I’m almost certain I gave you that broken nose. I will not hesitate to ruin this good medic’s work and give you a pair of black eyes to match.” 

Calum full on lost it, his arm wrapping over Ari’s shoulders as he laughed, half leaning on her as a hand gripped his bruised ribs. Ari immediately felt bad, knowing that he’d already taken a battering that night. She felt her phone buzz. She ignored it.

“Ashton, if you don’t hire her, god damn I’ll fuckin’ marry her.” The medic finished up with her hand, the light bandage wrapped around her knuckles. 

“No more bare knuckle punching, ma’am. If you want tips, talk to the guy who’s turning into a hyena.” This made Ari grin as Calum’s arm tightened a little bit more, his lips dangerously close to her ear.

“Don’t worry doll, I’ll teach you how to do a knockout punch.” 

“I’m gonna hold you to that, Hood. But you need to recover first.” He scoffed before taking in the almost stern look on her face and it was only a second of hesitation before he nodded his head. 

“Deal.” Ashton’s jaw dropped in shock.

“Ari, what magical power did you just use? Because Calum Hood always argues about needing to train, even when he’s battered up and in pain. But he didn’t fight you.” Calum flipped off Ashton as Ari raised an eyebrow, a few members of the team nodding at Ashton in agreement.

“It was the magical persuasion of deal making. He’ll get to teach me, but only if he recovers.”  

Calum beamed at her in return before his eyes turned to the medic helping Terry up to his feet. 

“I’ve done what I can, but you need to head to the hospital to get the nose set in place before it starts to heal wrong.” That was when the unintelligible complaining started and soon disappeared as another team member hustled him out of the changing room.

“So now that both myself and Ari have been patched up, how about that celebration? A birdie told me there was a birthday as well.” Calum’s eyes landed back on Ari who laughed. 

“Considering that birdie wasn’t even stealthy when he told me the plans before your knockout round, I’m fine with it. I—I don’t—I’m not really dressed for clubbing though.” Ari found herself growing a lot more warmer as Calum eyed her outfit, his eyes trailing from the dark wash skinny jeans that she wore, over her curves, taking in the loose top that wasn’t tight but it hinted at some shape to her waist. 

“We aren’t clubbing. We’re heading out to a restaurant first and then we’re heading to mine for a house party in celebration.” Ashton explained and it settled the decision for Ari almost instantly.

“C’mon, you can’t turn this down, not after knocking Terry out like that.” The trainer called out and Ari giggled.

“When you put it like that...” She trailed off, earning a collective cheer as the guys each introduced themselves as Calum disappeared to shower and change. They all peppered her with questions about her age, what she did for a living, if there were any boyfriends on the scene.

Her heart sank at the reminder.

“I thought there was one... He brought me here today and well, he told me he had feelings for me but---” She sighed. It wasn’t unusual for men to do this to her, she’d played that rodeo so many times, but it still caused the dull ache to appear in her chest, the wounds from childhood never truly healed.

“Well we’re going to make this the best damn birthday ever. And I think we’re going to have to keep you on the team, even if you knew nothing about boxing before stepping into the venue.” Ashton teased, making Ari giggle.

Calum was paused around the corner, his heart lifting at the sound of her giggle, his own mind escaping him. He’d always protected his heart from vultures, gold diggers and those that wanted the reputation of being the cause of his anger. 

His lifestyle wasn’t always the best, but since the consecutive hold on his title, things were looking up and he knew that the girls would come in their droves for a chance to sleep with him. But this girl, barely known to him for less than twelve hour and he knew that he was smitten with her.

She’d held his attention in ways those other girls wished they could. And despite what rumours circulated around him, the only other person to know his type was Ashton. And Ari fit his type perfectly. Her laughter broke through his mind once more and he made his way around the corner.

“What joke did I miss?” 

“Ashton’s look when I told him that I won’t tell him my wiley ways.” Calum smirked at that and Ari could feel her chest flutter. 

“He’s always been a drama queen, don’t mind him doll. However, I’m ready for some food and celebrating. We heading out?” 

The team had already swapped their clothes around whilst he’d been getting changed, and Ari found herself situated between Ashton and Calum, her eyes watching as they got slightly rowdy as they entered the nearly empty venue, only the last of security and cleaners were there now. 

As they exited, it seemed that people had decided not to linger in the cold.

“Ari!” The familiar voice made her heart sink as Paul sauntered over, a smirk on his lips with a visible hickey showing as well as the red lipstick stains.

The team had already moved ahead but paused when they’d heard the new person of their groups name get called out. Both Calum and Ashton eyed him warily, knowing that this was the person that she’d likely spoken about in the changing rooms.

“C’mon baby, we’ve gotta get back. I need to drop you off and then I’ve got Jazz coming around later.” She could feel the tears stinging her eyes. He claimed he had feelings for her, yet all these girls were throwing themselves at him and he wasn’t stopping them.

She’d had enough.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m actually being taken out for my birthday, y’know, the day you said would be special but turns out you tried to fucking ruin?” His eyes widened almost comically as he finally took note of the two people she stood between.

“You know they don’t want you around, it’s likely a pity party for your birthday. C’mon, I’ve got a spot on the way home saved just for you.” And she could feel her chest ache. How she liked him, she couldn’t understand.

“Pity party? Is that all I’ll ever be in your eyes? Someone to pity because no one will date the fat girl? Am I a pity fuck because no one else will touch me? I can’t believe I even admitted to having feelings for you.” The disgusted look finally seemed to comprehend in his mind and she watched as a flash of panic crossed his features.

“You know that ain’t true baby, I really do-”

“Don’t you dare say those words!” She hissed, tears burning in her eyes. God, she hated the fact that her anger made her cry. But she was hurt. 

“Fine then, want me to be honest? Yeah, I flirt with you because no one else would. I slept with you as a fuckin dare but you weren’t a bad lay. I kept you around because I knew that if I couldn’t get anyone, you’d be more than willing since no one—”

For the second time that night, Ari’s fist pulled back and snapped forward. 

For the second time that day a body hit the floor, his hands cradling his face as he yelled, watching her in awe and fear.

She stepped forwards but two sets of hands stopped her as she felt her chest rip in half.

“I’m the best goddamn thing the world has fucking seen and you threw that right to be my friend away. Don’t text me, don’t talk to me, don’t fucking show up to my home ever. You’re a piece of shit and I honest to fucking god wish I’d never met you.” She sneered out at him, her tears falling at an alarmingly fast rate.

Calum and Ashton were gently pulling her away, surprised at the little resistance they face considering she seemed ready to launch on the guy only moments before. 

The quiet conversations between the other team members helped bring her back to reality a Calum sat her in on the edge of the trunk of the medic-Carl’s car, his fingers taking the unbandaged hand and eyeing it carefully as the trainer-Todd, held up his phone flashlight so he could see properly in the dark.

Ari could feel her tears, but she was past the point of caring. 

“Fuck my win, we’re celebrating you tonight.” Calum finally hummed from his spot next to her. Her eyes snapped to him in shock and he grinned. “You not only knockout two guys, but you helped my manager fire the biggest pain in my ass and it’s your birthday. I’ve won enough matches to know it’s the same kind of celebration. Fuck that. I’m celebrating your birthday.” 

“It means people can’t fawn over him is all.” Ashton supplied playfully and Ari gave him a tearfilled smile in return.

“He has you guys to do that already.” Came the weak response and it triggered off a round of laughter, Calum’s pout at her only making it funnier, which had set off her own giggles as she used her free hand to wipe the tears from her face.

“Can I trust you not to go punching anymore people now?” Carl gave her a stern look and she flushed in the darkness. 

“Yeah. I didn’t mean to, but at least I didn’t punch him with the one already bandaged.” She pointed out and Carl shook his head at her in amusement as he packed away his kit.

“You can ride with me, doll.” Calum murmured softly when she realised they were all grouped around various cars.

“Sure.”

“Ash, you gonna ride with me?” 

“More like I’m driving the fucking car. Get in the backseat, dumbass.” Ari laughed as he pouted but handed over his car keys and slid into the backseat. Ari sat in the front with Ashton and soon they were driving through the city.

“I was going to call the restaurant to amend the booking, since we lost Terry, but we picked up our girl here so the numbers should be okay. I know that Kenny called ahead and warned them that it was a rowdy bunch celebrating a birthday.” Ashton’s eyes flickered to the windscreen mirror before looking over to Ari. “I hope that’s okay with you?” 

“Too late to ask me that, Ashton, since I’m already in the car coming out with you guys.” Ari half grinned and Calum snorted.

“I’m more than okay with it. I’d rather celebrate her birthday instead of the fact I knocked someone out.” His tone was excited and Ari turned her head to see the beaming grin on his lips. 

It was quiet conversations between the three of them as Ashton pulled up to the restaurant and Ari could feel her insides churn as she spotted photographers lurking in wait. Ashton followed her gaze and a sigh broke from his lips, drawing her attention from the paps to him.

“Cal, you’ve got two options, mate.” A groan escaped from the backseat. 

“What are they?” 

“Either we let Ari head in first, I know the guys are probably inside already.” Ari understood then what they were talking about. Was it worth getting spotted with an unknown girl, and the headlines that could potentially follow?

“Fuck it. Ari, stick close to me.” Calum finally muttered and Ari could feel her hands trembling as he slid to the door on her side and climbed out. She followed suit and immediately there were flashes and calls of his name.

“Hood, how was the fight?”

“Calum, who’s the piece on your arm tonight?”

“Hood is she a good lay?” 

“Fuckin’ vultures. Keep your head down low Ari and if they try to grab for you, don’t hit them.” 

Ari’s hands trembled and Calum wrapped his arm around her shoulders, lifting his middle finger up towards the cameras as they walked to the restaurant doors. Ashton was behind them, his own middle fingers up as they got to the doors of the restaurant and Ari pulled the door open, ducking inside fast.

Once both Calum and Ashton were in, she took in low deep breaths, both sets of eyes concerned as he pulled herself together.

“Just get me a drink and I’ll be fine.” She finally muttered and Calum smiled, pulling her into the main area of the restaurant. 

It wasn’t hard to miss the group they were with, the loud chatter coming from the large table. Once the three of them joined, there were yells of ‘happy birthday’ in Ari’s direction and she laughed as they settled down and orders for drinks were made.

“Okay, so tonight, yeah I kept my title. But I’ve got enough of those. Celebrating this beauty’s birthday though? Not enough titles in the world to hold a candle to this girl. She knocked two guys flat out and still coming out.” Calum hollered over the noise and Ari found herself flushing as the group laughed and toasted her with a cheer.

The conversations as they ate, ranged from any possibility of taking Calum’s title off him, to where she worked. They then started discussing the future matches with possible competitors as well as the upcoming title matches he had. 

Whilst there was a loud debate going on between Calum and the team, Ashton leaned his arm across the back of Ari’s chair, capturing her attention immediately.

“When I said about hiring you, even though you knew nothing about boxing, I wasn’t kidding. I need a girl who knows numbers. That was Terry’s job. He was an ass, but he was good.” His voice was loud enough for her to hear, but quiet enough that it didn’t break into the current debate.

“What numbers are we talking. Tax figures and payroll of betting?” And Ashton chuckled.

“Bit of both. We like to know if people are feeling the underdog or rooting for him. But it’s entirely up to you, doll.” 

“I’ll consider it. I’m good with numbers, don’t get me wrong. But you’ve gotta think of his reputation right now.” Ashton scoffed.

“Calum’s never cared for his reputation.”  Ari bit her bottom lip to stop the words she felt were too personal for someone she’d met less than twelve hours ago.

Ashton noticed this and sighed.

“Be honest, please.” 

“He might not, but I’ve barely known him for six hours and I already do. I can already see the headlines that are going to come from those photos with me, let alone the news flooding out that I’m now on the team. People won’t take me seriously because there will be assumptions that I slept with him for the job.” Her words were rushed and quiet and Ashton paused before nodding.

“If I find a temporary fix, say for the next season run, will you give me an answer by then?” Ari nodded.

“I can do that.” 

When the group reached Ashton’s place, the party seemed to be in full swing. People were still congratulating Calum on his win and he shrugged it off as he pulled Ari into the kitchen.

“C’mon doll. It’s nothing like college parties.” The tease had made her laugh a lot more than she’d intended, but he’d insisted on her drinking whilst they ate, since Ashton was driving. 

After pouring two shots out, clinking glasses and downing them quickly, chased by a swig of beer, he hooked his arm over her shoulders, keeping her tucked into his side as he began to make his rounds through the people. 

The second anyone asked “who’s the chick tonight then?” Calum would promptly thank them for coming to the party and move on to the next person. Ari felt confused by that behaviour until he actually introduced her to someone.

“Luke! This is Ari. She knocked down Terry and her, what was he, a fuck buddy?” He turned to her and felt a twinge in his gut when her face twisted at the label.

“I guess. Thought what we had was more, but it wasn’t.” She shrugged before shaking Luke’s hand.

“It’s her birthday, so we’re celebratin’ that too.” Calum called over the music and more yells of ‘happy birthday’ rang through the air from the people that had heard Calum’s words. Ari laughed as she drained the last of her beer.

“Nice to meet you birthday girl, you gonna stick around for breakfast in the morning?” Ari shrugged and Calum frowned at that.

“Don’t know. Don’t wanna gatecrash anything.” Luke snorted at that and Calum laughed.

“You knocked Terry out, I’m amazed Calum didn’t propose on the spot to you.” Calum flushed. “You’re part of the group now, Ari. You’re gonna be coming to breakfast with us.” Luke smirked, his eyes flickering to the grin that Calum wore once she nodded in acceptance.

Leaning closer, under the guise of pulling her in for a hug which she obliged with, he spoke loud enough for her to hear, but softly enough that Calum missed it completely.

“You might not understand it now, but don’t worry, we’ll have your back.” The confusion must have showed because Luke grinned when he pulled away.

“Like I said, don’t worry. Anyway, Cal you’ve still got rounds to do.” And with that, Calum had his arm hooked around Ari once more and he was pulling her with him as he greeted people.

Luke’s words made sense the following morning. Her face was plastered across online tabloids with headlines that ranged from curious to downright insulting. 

Her hangover wasn’t as bad as she’d suspected it to be, but when she pulled herself from the guest bedroom that Ashton told her to stay in, the world began to spin and she sucked in a deep breath to quell the nausea. 

“If you need to throw up, bathroom is the door to your right.” She shook her head before clamping her lips shut. 

Ari made a hasty getaway from Ashton as she stumbled into his bathroom, the contents of her stomach reappearing in the toilet bowl. 

A warm hand rubbed between her shoulder blades and she appreciated it as her stomach rolled. 

“Too much alcohol?” 

“Tabloids.” She finally whispered and Ashton made a noise from the back of his throat that was more disgusted than anything. 

“Fucking vultures.”

When she made it downstairs, pouring herself a glass of water, Luke and Calum were already up and sat in the kitchen.

“How are you feeling about what’s been said, Ari?” Calum questioned and she shrugged.

“It’s stuff I’ve heard before. But, seeing it plastered over various sites, it’s frightening.” Luke shot her a sympathetic look.

“Looks like you’re with our group now, regardless.” And the shy smile he received in return made him grin as they began to plan for breakfast.

—

From that first day, Ari found herself submerged into Calum’s life. He was quite protective of her especially, despite knowing that she could easily handle herself. 

But having her approval of his actions and words wasn’t something he sought out. But he knew she appreciated them. 

Whenever a new article popped up because they’d gone out for a night out, there would be seven more with quotes from him redirecting the conversation away before straight up telling them to stop prying into her life just because he was her friend.

The media nearly had a field day when he’d slipped up in an interview and talked about the night they met. It was a moment where he was so impressed that he was speechless. What she hadn’t expected was him being honest enough and admitting that he’d spoken the words “if you don’t hire her, I’ll marry her.” 

That had been a very bad month. 

Ari had switched off every notification for her social media, the influx of comments which disparaged her weight, her life. She felt like she was under a spotlight and it burned sometimes. 

Calum hadn’t realised how bad it actually was until he’d made the decision to visit her unannounced. 

Lifting his fist, he knocked harshly on the door, hoping that Ari would hear over the music that was blasting through her home. 

“C’mon Arienne, what are you playing at?” He muttered quietly as his fingers tried the handle. When he found the door locked, concern flooded him. 

Using his spare key, he got into her house and immediately tossed his keys onto the side cabinet and headed upstairs. That was where the music was the loudest and he’d bet against himself that she’d be there. 

The problem with betting against himself meant that there was no satisfaction at being right. 

Pushing open the door, he froze at the sight of glass scattered along the carpeted floor. Very carefully he stepped in and noticed that the full body length mirror had been shattered. 

Then he heard his name. 

“Cal!” His alarm spiked at the sight of Ari sat against the wall, an empty wine bottle next to her with shards of glass surrounding her. 

Then he noticed the blood on her hands and he had to stop himself from flipping out. Then he really studied her face. 

Tears were rolling down her cheek, her bottom lip wobbling as he approached her slowly. 

“Ari, sweetheart. What happened?” 

A fresh set of sobs escaped her lips and Calum found himself more alarmed as her head tilts back, hitting the wall with a bit of force.

“Fucking people. Sayin’ such shit and makin’ me feel like I’m a kid. Don’t they think I look in the mirror everyday and find everything about me that I hate?” Her words were slurred, barely put together, but Calum could get the gist of it. 

He knew that the media tabloids had been particularly brutal towards her, especially after they were photographed a couple of nights ago.

“And then it felt like all I could see was their words and I didn’t wanna see them any more, and I broke the mirror but it’s made a mess and it hurts to clean up.” Calum moved over, crouching next to Ari, and she looked up to him, her eyes rimmed red as tears continued to fall down her cheek. “I just wanted them to stop.” 

It took everything in Calum to not cry at her words. 

“C’mon sweetheart. Let’s get you cleaned up and I’m pretty sure there are some episodes of Good Omens on.” He helped her up, making sure not to touch where her hands were cut, instead grabbing her forearms and pulling her up.

Ari didn’t protest as he led her away, heading to the bathroom. He made her sit on the toilet seat, stopping her from wiping her face with her hands more than once.

“Trust me, you do not want blood all over your face sweetheart.” She stared at him, the tears still falling but she nodded anyway, allowing him to clean the cuts that the shards had caused before wrapping her hands up.

“I’m no Carl, but you don’t need stitches. I think that can do for now, don’t you?” His tease earned a weak smile from Ari and he didn’t even hesitate to take her hands, placing soft kisses against her bandaged palms.

It didn’t take long to get Ari downstairs and she doesn’t even protest when he forced her to sit on the couch while he cleaned up the glass.

That was when he found another two empty bottles of wine and he realised how drunk she had to be for this to happen. The Ari he knew would have protested far too much and argued that she was okay. 

Then her words hit him again and it felt like a gut punch when he realised that she didn’t see herself the way that he saw her. 

Thankfully the blood on the floor was minimal and it was easy for him to clean. Years of getting blood on his clothes had taught him how to get blood out of fabric.

By the time he’d returned downstairs, Ari had switched the TV show over and he could see there were more tears. So he settled next to her once the glass shards were in the bin and the cleaning products were away.

She didn’t fight his embrace as he pulled her into his side and she allowed herself to cry, every emotion just flooding past the barriers she always held up. 

“I’ve got you sweetheart. I promise.” Calum whispered into her hair.

He wasn’t too sure how much more time had passed, but Ari’s sobbing had slowed down to the point that it was just her breathing and he realised that she’d fallen asleep. Shifting her so that her head was resting on his lap, Calum couldn’t stop himself as his fingers traced small patterns on the back of her neck, fingers occasionally tracing her face before returning to her neck.

He was angry on her behalf, to see her so broken. It was a shock for him but it hurt him to see Ari so downtrodden.

His phone went off and he checked the messages, realising last second that the whole intention of coming around to see Ari was to bring her out to one of Ashton’s house parties.

Snapping a photo of her, he sent it to Ashton.

‘Not leaving her. She broke down in tears, so I’m staying with her. Have fun tonight though dude.’

Thankfully, Ashton understood and didn’t tease Calum too much. Calum knew he’d get more ribbing from Luke at one point, but he was content to just spend the night like this. 

Part of him knew that he was in deep with her, but by this point, he was beyond caring. He knew this woman inside out and it only made her more endearing in his eyes.

When Calum woke up next, he hadn’t realised he’d fallen asleep, but they’d shifted in the night.

Ari was pressed into the back of the couch, her arm around his waist. He knew that he was on the edge, but it was the most comfortable he’d felt in weeks. 

“Please tell me this is a drunken dream.” She finally whispered and Calum laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“‘Fraid not princess. But don’t worry, that was actually the best night of sleep I’ve had in weeks.” His voice was quiet, raspy. And she giggled before burying her face into his chest, a groan escaping her lips.

“I shouldn’t have drunk that much. You didn’t have to deal with that.” 

“Don’t care. You needed a friend. It’s a good job I dropped by when I did.” A sigh escaped her lips as she just held him close, and his own arm was thrown over her waist, fingers tracing her lower back gently.

“Thank you Cal.” She finally whispered and he smiled.

“Anytime, princess.” 

After that, Calum was definitely more affectionate with Ari. And she didn’t complain, but she often sent him confused looks when his head was turned. But she loved the attention that he gave her, because the way he looked at her, it made her feel invincible.

Before long, Ashton had convinced the two of them to come around for a quiet get together. It was only the team at Ashton’s, a couple of beers in the garden in the sunshine. 

“So Ari, anyone you got your eye on?” Luke teased, a smirk growing on his face as he watched her eyes dropped to her lap before she looked up once more, shaking her head.

“No chance Hemmings. You’re not getting that info from me.” And he snorted out a laugh in return.

“C’mon. If you wanted a piece of me, all you have to do is ask.” And he and Ashton exchanged grins as they watched her press her lips together, rolling her eyes at the two of them.

“You’re cute Luke. But you’re like a string bean. I feel like I’d snap you in half if I straddled you. But you do have the blond locks in your favour. So that’s something.” The group laughed as Calum returned, his brows furrowed for a moment before Ari threw him a questioning look. 

He met her gaze before grinning, shaking his head slightly, indicating he was fine before rejoining the conversation, ignoring the pointed looks from his best friends as the conversation turned away from potential crushes. That was a territory that they did not need to know about. 

—

Ari had never been by herself to the gym where Calum trained. It wasn’t a place where she was most comfortable, but Calum hadn’t come back to her place like he was supposed to, so she’d headed over to the gym, knowing he’d be there.

The gym looked empty when she arrived. Swiping the keycard for entry, after getting persuaded by Calum to join up, if only so they had a place to train, she made her way to the sound of a punching bag being repetitively hit.

As she entered the open hall, Ari leaned against the door, watching Calum as he continued his attack on the punching bag, muscles defined as he went through the routine.

“I can feel your eyes on me.” He called when he paused, his head resting on the punching bag. 

“You didn’t arrive when you said you would. So I decided to drag you back to mine, kicking and screaming.” She sauntered forwards and he finally turned. Her eyes didn’t waver from his face, despite the temptation to do so, and he could only chuckle.

“It was either gonna be you or Ash. Alright, let me shower and change, doll.” He closed the distance, leaning down to place a soft kiss to her cheek before he continued on to the changing rooms.

Ari let out a soft breath of air once he’d gone through and her hand raised to touch the skin his lips brushed.

She knew he liked her, but part of her consistently told her that it was a ruse, that he couldn’t like a big girl like her.

She waited by the door of the gym, smiling as he came out, a fresh tank and sweats.

“C’mon handsome. It’s movie night before we head out on the road trip tomorrow.” She grinned as he slung his arm across her shoulders once they were out of the gym and the dark cool air swept over both of them.

He couldn’t help but chuckle when he saw her car parked next to his.

“I’ll see you at yours then, gorgeous.” He squeezed her shoulders before heading into his own car. He waited until she had peeled out before following her.

There was a part of her mind that was telling her that he was just having her on, that he wasn’t interested in her. And it made Ari feel even worse than before because she knew that when it came to Calum, her heart would beat faster every time he showed her any kind of affection. 

As she peeled into her driveway, she made her way into the house just as Calum pulled up, so she left the door open for him.

Once the slam echoed to the kitchen to let her know that he was in the house, she held up a beer for him, making him laugh as he entered, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“That’s my girl.” The casual comment had Ari blushing as she shoved him from the kitchen in return. Silently, she prayed that she wouldn’t completely give herself away with her reactions.

Once the film was going, Calum had shifted so that instead of sprawling his feet across Ari’s lap like normal, he’d let his head rest on her thighs and she could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. 

“Comfortable there, kind sir?” Her words were a tease, trying not to let herself freak out. 

“Comfiest thighs in all the realm.” He shot back with a cheeky grin and she rolled her eyes. 

As the film drew on, she found herself running her fingers through his hair, a noise of appreciation escaping Calum’s lips as his body seemed to mould to the sofa. 

“Love it when it’s just us.” Calum murmured softly. Ari couldn’t help but watch how his face relaxed as he turned so that he was looking up to her. 

The temptation to kiss him was overwhelming. She clocked as his eyes met hers before drifting down to her lips and she could feel her heart hammering in her chest. 

She hasn’t realised that she was leaning forward until he was centimeters away and she could count each eyelash if she wished to. 

“You’re so damn beautiful.” His words were a breath and Ari could feel the heat rush to her cheeks. 

Before she could utter the words, a soft ‘kiss me’ on the tip of her tongue, the doorbell went off and they jolted away. Calum’s head fell back into her lap before she hurriedly moved him so that she could answer the door. 

She missed him breathing out a soft “fuck” as she did so. 

Opening the door, Ashton and Luke were stood there with wide grins. And just in that second she wondered if they knew how close she’d been to kissing Calum. 

“Why are you at my house? We don’t leave till tomorrow.” 

And that was when she noticed their bags in their hands and she groaned. 

“We figured it’d be easier if we started off already here.” Ashton explained and Ari sighed before letting them in. 

She heard Luke exclaim Calum’s name and her eyes met Ashton’s. He cocked an eyebrow and despite the fierce blush that appeared on her cheeks, she shook her head and shut the door. 

The following morning, once the two cars had been packed, they waited for the others to show up. She knew that a handful of their friends would be making their own way later on, so once it hit eleven, the third car pulled up and she was greeted with the familiar faces of Carl and Richard, making her grin as their girlfriends exited the car and pulled her in for a hug before they could reach her.

“Not like we’ve known her longer.” Carl snarked making Ari giggle.

“I’m another female. We gotta stick together on this road trip so we don’t fall into any idiotic plans the shared braincell between the lot of you comes up with.” Ari retorted, earning playful scowls as they made sure they had everything packed.

She realised that her stuff had been placed in Calum’s Cadillac. She ignored the look that Ashton gave her as she got in, the shouts hollering around her as they pulled away making her laugh. 

The silence wasn’t so awkward between the two of them, at least, not until Ashton shouted at the two of them to behave and Ari’s cheeks went bright and Calum groaned. The noise sent her chest into a flutter, briefly wondering if he was embarrassed at Ashton trying to insinuate something. And her anxiety skyrocketed.

Calum noticed the way her hands nervously tapped her thighs, the rhythm completely different to the rhythm and at the next red light, he took a glance and could see her face and he could see the anxiety in her features.

“What’s going through your head, doll?” The question made her jump, and he frowned as she gave off a nervous laugh.

“It’s nothing. I’ll be fine.” The words were muttered too quickly and before he could contest her words and point out she wasn’t fine, she turned up the radio.

Ari knew she was being childish about it, but she knew that actually voicing her fears was going to make them very real.

An hour into the journey, Calum pulled off into a layby, motioning to the others to keep going. Ari could feel herself shrink at the hoots that came from the cars and Calum sighed.

He killed the engine, the stretch of road with fields either side quiet in the glorious sunshine. With the top down, Ari could feel the sun on the back of her neck, and she tilted her head back, trying to quell the anxiety in her stomach.

“Is this about last night?” Calum finally asked and Ari could feel his gaze on her as she let out a shuddering sigh. “Arienne, talk to me.” And she nearly begged him to say her name again, the sound of it sending a shiver through her spine.

“Yes.” She finally admitted, her head lifting from the seat and turning to face Calum. His face fell at her answer.

“I’m, I’m not sure I understand, Ari.” He finally admitted and her lips pulled up into a kind smile that was just her. 

“I don’t think you would understand, Cal.” 

“Then help me understand, dammit Arienne.” His voice remained level, and she turned on the seat to face him. He shifted himself closer and Ari wasn’t sure if she was glad of the joined seats or annoyed about them.

It took her a moment, jumbled up words unable to form as he stared at her, dark eyes holding her gaze before she blew out a sigh of air, fingers tapping her thigh gently.

“You never had the issue of people making fun of your weight Cal. You said so yourself, soccer star and boxing star, friends with everyone and could date anyone you wanted. I didn’t have that. I had kids make fun of me, tell me that I would never find someone who loved me.” Calum opened his mouth, but she placed her hand over his lips.

He gave her a disgruntled look in return.

“Let me finish.” She waited until he nodded before withdrawing her hand.

“They’d try to find out if I liked someone and embarrass me in front of them and their friends, They made it impossible for me to be honest with my feelings to anyone, especially when they teased me, saying how only desperate men would want me as a last resort.” She could feel the first tear falling and a bitter smile appeared on her lips. “They made me so insecure about my emotions that I just told myself no one would want me.” 

Calum’s fingers lifted, capturing the falling tear and she could feel her heart hammering in her chest.

“I so desperately wanted to kiss you last night. I know I told myself as I was growing up to not give anyone control of my emotions. But here I am.” 

Calum’s fingers curved around her face, his fingers holding her chin gently.

“You’re right, I don’t know how it feels. But I also know that I like you, and it’s not some kind of joke. You’ve known me long enough to know that when it comes to my feelings, I’m all or nothing. How many girls have you seen me with, since I met you? How many times have we drunkenly told each other of our worst heartbreaks, letting no one else see that side of us? Arienne, you have to believe me when I tell you that it’s you that I like, and no one else.”

“Calum, the look on your face every time Luke or Ashton would make a comment, it just reminded me of being in high school and being embarrassed by the other kids, because the person who I was crushing on didn’t return my affections. You literally groaned when Ashton teased us earlier as we left.” 

Calum sighed before shifting closer, his other hand reaching over to cradle her face.

“I groaned because he’s been teasing me for weeks. They’re fucking relentless sometimes. But I do genuinely like you Ari.” 

Ari could feel her heart rate pick up as he leaned closer, his eyes searching hers for any hesitancy. 

His phone rang and both of them closed their eyes in frustration, her head resting against his shoulder. But he wrapped his arms around her instead.

“Luke or Ashton?” He muttered and she laughed.

“Either way when they go on dates, we’re doing the same thing.” She grumbled into his shoulder, making him laugh as he answered the phone.

“Why are you bothering me, Irwin?” Cal switched the phone to speaker.

“Ooo, someone got lucky?” 

“No, someone was trying to talk to him. Where are you guys?” Ari responded and there were soft oo’s in the background. She rolled her eyes as she slid back to her side, only for Cal to have her slide closer to him, passing her his phone as he got the engine started.

“About fifty miles ahead. We’ve stopped for some gas and food so we’ll hang about for you guys and then hit the road again. We should make it before sunset still.” Calum drove from the layby, putting his foot down on the gas.

“See you in a bit then.” Ari cut the call and once he was cruising, Calum slung his arm across her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

Now that her words were out between them, it was definitely more relaxed, but she could also feel the charge between them. When the gas station came into their sights, Ari slid away from Cal, giving him a small smile at the hurt look that flashed across his face.

“I don’t want to give them ammunition, Cal.” Understanding flashed across his face as his fingers sought out hers and he lifted the back of her hand to his lips.

“I would say fuck what they think, but after how you’ve explained it I can see why you’d be so hesitant. And that’s fine.” He grinned and relief flooded her as he let their hands drop between them as he pulled into the gas station.

“You want me to get us some food whilst you fill the car?” Ari asked and he grinned at her in return. 

“It’s like you read my mind. Here, put it on my card.” He handed her the black card and she stopped herself from arguing that she could pay. 

Calum knew she could pay, her job paid her well enough. But he was never hesitant to cover the bill when he was with Ari and she learned that he would find ways of giving her the money she’d managed to slip into his wallet, back. So instead of arguing, she rolled her eyes playfully, earning a chuckle as they both got out of the car.

Flipping off Ashton before he could say anything as they shouted their greetings, making the group laugh, she went into the store, meandering through the aisles, picking up some snacks for her and Calum to have once they hit the road once more.

Once her arm was filled with two sandwiches, some snacks and a couple of drinks, she made her way to the register. 

“Pump six as well, please.” She glanced to the car to see Calum sat on the hood, talking to Luke as the others messed around, waiting for her to get out.

“$42 in total ma’am.” She handed the card over with ease, collecting the rest of the items in her arms. She took the card back and tucked it in her back pocket before stepping back, stepping right into someone.

“Shit, I’m sorry dude.” The apology was out of her mouth as she glanced up, noting how his eyes studied her for a second before scoffing.

“At least you didn’t break any bones in my foot. Then I’d have been real pissed off. Take a tip sweetheart,” she cringed at the way it sounded from the strangers mouth, “how about you leave half of that and then maybe you might get lucky with me.” 

His fingers had wrapped around her wrist and it took her a second too long to register before disgust and alarm crossed her features.

“Let go of me, asshole. I apologised, you didn’t have to say something about shit you know nothing about. Now. Let. Go.” The grip on her wrist tightened and she shot a frightened look to the cashier. 

“I don’t think so.” The grip was becoming painful at this point, so using her advantage, she jabbed her heel down onto his foot, earning a sharp yelp of pain from him.

“Let. Me. Go.” The stranger stood up, his height easily matching Calum’s. But he was a lot more slender whereas Calum had filled out. And she was beginning to feel more scared each moment passed by with the strength of his grip on her wrist. 

“I said I don’t think so.” He jerked her forward and she immediately tugged herself back, gritting her teeth as the cashier went to pick up the phone. She knew that her wrist was going to be bruised later.

The bell rang from the door and relief flooded her as Calum’s voice sounded around the shop.

“Let go of my girl, asshole.” Almost immediately the grip was gone from her wrist and she stumbled back into Calum’s arms, her gaze turning to the stranger who was beginning to look frightened. A glance to Calum and she could understand.

He looked murderous.

“Next time someone tells you to let them go, let them go, asshole.” Ari snapped and allowed Calum to pull her from the shop, anger and shame bubbling up. The anger she could understand but the shame she was confused about.

Then it hit her. 

She was so used to comments about her diet, what she should and shouldn’t do that she more often than not, ignored them. But for Calum to then call her his girl, there was a small part that wondered if he was being honest or if it was just to get her out.

‘Shut up, he’s already told you that he likes you.’ Her mind hissed as they got to the car.

Calum took the stuff from her arms, chucking it into the car before his fingers found hers, pulling her wrist up for inspection. She finally noticed that her hands were shaking and there was a red mark around her wrist from the strangers grip.

“I should knock him out for that.” Calum muttered as he rummaged in the glovebox, pulling out one of the travel ice packs, popping it before maneuvering it around her wrist. She could feel the cold slowly build and his body suddenly enveloped hers, his arms over her shoulders. Despite feeling self conscious of how she looked, Ari wrapped her arms around Calum’s middle and allowed herself the time to calm down.

The others could see that she was shaken up, but gave the two of them the space before Carl made his way over.

“Everything okay guys?” Ari pulled back, holding her hand out to Carl. He moved the ice pack and inspected the red marks before nodding.

“The ice will keep any potential swelling down. If it hurts at any point, I’ll wrap it up when we get to the campsite.” Ari shot him a look of thanks before he headed back and there was a call for everyone to hustle and move it.

Ari didn’t even attempt to move Calum’s arm when he threw it over her shoulder once they were back on the road the wind whipping around them. She simply settled her head against his shoulder, turning the music up as they carried on cruising.

The sun was beginning its descent when they finally pulled up to the campsite. It didn’t take much between the group to get the various tents set up. 

It was a lot of laughing and jabbing each other with the tent poles before the collective adults finally pointed out that the group needed to get a move on to get to the beach to use the fire pit.

So with that in mind, once the tents were up, with a lot of ribbing for everyone, they all got back into the different cars and headed the short drive to the beach.

Ari helped lug one of the coolers from Ashton’s car and found that the rest of the group that they were meeting up with had already started the fire. She greeted the people that she knew and introduced herself to the ones she didn’t.

“So how did you come to meet this rabble then, Ari?” The night had crept up on them by this point, the fire still going. Ari had taken a seat on one of the logs around the fire, and Calum had claimed the spot in front of her, taking advantage of her hunched over figure and draping her arms over his shoulders.

Ari didn’t fight this, resting her chin on the top of his head and she grinned at the question as Ashton laughed.

“Met them on my birthday. Ashton kept me ringside and introduced me to Calum. He made a fool of himself within seconds.” A whine escaped from him in response and Ashton laughed.

“What was it Ari? Oh ‘I bet you could knock someone out if they looked at you wrong’ or something like that, right?” Ashton teased and Calum turned his head, burying his face into her arm. She was glad for the glow of the fire that hid her red cheeks.

“Something along those lines. However, within the next ten minutes I knocked out one of their team members, Terry I think his name was?” 

“You were the one that took out Terry?” Sam gasped and she laughed, her face hidden in Carl’s shoulder. “He complained for months about that! I didn’t realise it was you.” 

Ari smirked.

“Knocked my fuck buddy out about thirty minutes after that.” This drew laughter from Luke and Michael and Calum’s body shook.

“She was ready to pulverise him. So Ash and I had to stop her from ending up in a jail cell.” Calum piped up from his spot and she giggled, shifting her head so that her face was buried into his neck as she quieted her giggles.

As the night continued, the group split up. A few headed back to the tents, whilst the others broke off into smaller groups. Someone switched on the stereo they’d brought with, and Calum shifted himself so that he was straddled over the log, facing Arienne. 

She copied his actions, so he took the chance to shift closer before taking her hands within his. They were on the other side of the fire, away from the group. A small bubble of their own and she was okay with that.

“You seem more relaxed now, how’s your wrist?” He asked, his fingers pulling her wrist closer for inspection. She grinned at him, pulling her wrist away from his sight.

“Fine. I’m with friends, even if some of them only met me tonight.” They shared soft giggles and when their eyes met, his lips curved up in a small smile.

“Seeing you so carefree, you’ve gotta know how beautiful you look. No worries, nothing holding you back.” He brought his hand up once more, the backs of his fingers trailing against her cheek. She was almost certain she could feel the heat in her cheeks as his other hand moved to rest on her thigh.

“Can I kiss you?” He breathed and her words were lost as she nodded softly. He inched closer before his lips pressed against hers and she could feel the butterflies explode in her chest as his hand curved under her chin, holding her in place as his hand that was resting on her thigh, moved to rest on her hip, ignoring her slight shift from his touch.

“About fucking time!” Both Luke and Ashton exclaimed, causing the two of them to pull away, their eyes meeting before turning to the pair sat across the fire.

That was when Ari remembered her audience and her cheeks grew hot. 

“Considering the previous times we nearly kissed, you two cockblocks ruined it.” Calum snarked back and they both laughed.

“Well now you two can stop pussyfooting around.” Ashton teased in return. Ari groaned and her face moved forward to rest against his shoulder. 

“Can we ditch these assholes?” She muttered and Calum chuckled softly.

“I reckon we can do that doll. C’mon.” He stood up, pulling Ari with him. This earned wolf whistles, which earned a scowl in return. Luke laughed as he blew Ari a kiss. She returned it with a middle finger as they said their goodnights and headed back to the campsite.

Ari didn’t bother with the pretense of sleeping in separate tents. She kept a hold of Calum’s hand and he laughed, pressing a soft kiss to her lips at the entrance of her tent.

“Pushing for more already, doll?” His tease made her blush and she shook her head, shoving his shoulder as she did so.

“Can a girl not want her cuddle buddy?” The pout on her lips was enough that he kissed her once more and her lips curved into a soft smile.

“You’ve always got your cuddle buddy, doll. I’ll get changed out here so you can change in the tent.” He murmured and she gave him a look of thanks before disappearing into the tent. 

He could hear her struggle around as he changed into sweatpants and a tank top. It was moments after he’d folded his own clothes up that she called him quietly and he pushed into the tent, zipping up the bug net but leaving the door open.

“More excuse to cuddle and stay warm.” He teased and she snorted as they settled into the sleeping bags. Calum was quick to zip the two together before they settled properly, his arms pulling her close and resting on her stomach as she pressed a gentle kiss to his collarbone.

“I know that Ash teases you about liking me, but, is he right? Do you like me or is he just being a dick?” And Calum realised then how deep the insecurity ran for Ari. 

Here she was, a big and beautiful girl who had a loud personality to match. She took no shit and put him in his place when he was being an ass. But to see her so timid over something he’d never given a second thought to, it made his chest ache. 

“Trust me doll, I like you. I’ve been crushing on you since the get go and honestly, getting to know you, just made it so much easier to let my feelings for you grow.” Her lips had curved into a shy smile and Calum took his hand within hers.

Moving their bodies slightly, he pressed her hand to his crotch and it took her a second before she realised what he was pointing out to her as his lips ghosted across her neck.

“I like every part of you, doll.” 

A soft ‘oh’ fell from her lips before his own captured hers and she moved her hands to a safer territory.

“I won’t pressure you till you’re ready sweet girl. I promise.” He murmured against her lips and she smiled into the kiss.

“This is why it’s difficult not to let myself fall for you, Hood.” He laughed before they settled for the evening, her body nestled against his.

When they woke up the following morning, Ari found her back pressed against Calum’s chest, his arm slung across her body, hand resting on her stomach. And most times she’d feel uncomfortable with someone touching her stomach, but Calum was nothing if not insistent and she’d gotten used to his touch at least.

She felt a part of her realise that she was the little spoon for once, his face pressed into the back of her neck.

Shifting slightly, a soft noise escaped Calum’s lips and she giggled.

“Morning.” She whispered and he simply tightened his arm around her. 

“M’having the best dream. Don’t wanna wake up.” He muttered and she snorted.

“If you think this is a dream Cal, you’re gonna have the shock of your life when you realise that we’re both in my tent and I admitted my feelings to you last night.” 

Ari felt his leg hook over her, and before she could protest, he’d shifted her so that she was on her back and he was straddling her. Immediately her cheeks flushed and he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

“Morning sweetheart.” His lips were in a wide grin and Ari could feel her heart just melt as his eyes crinkled slightly.

Her lips met his once more and his hands found hers, pinning them next to her head.

“Morning.” She finally returned.

They traded soft and lazy kisses until they heard movements from the other tents and Calum was yet to move.

“Listen, if you two want to get nasty, zip the door up, not just the netting.” Ashton hollered at them, making Ari snort as Calum raised his middle finger.

“If you wanna try that again, I’m not afraid to give you a black eye, Ash.” Calum called back and Ashton laughed as he slid off Ari and they finally started to get up.

“Ashton, you’re a dick.” Ari called through and he laughed.

“Yeah but you love me.”

“Debatable.”

As they began to wake up and group up for potential plans, Ari allowed herself to settle next to Calum, her head resting on his shoulder as she tried to keep herself awake. 

“Cal keep you awake last night Ari?” Ashton’s suggestive comment earned him a middle finger as she went to move away from Calum, but his fingers reached for her hand, squeezing it gently in reassurance. 

So ignoring the anxiety, she left her head resting where it was as Calum pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

“It’s too early for your bullshit Ash. Pack it in.” Ashton hesitated before shrugging his shoulders. 

“I’ll just save it all up for you.” Luke snorted as the rest of the group finally started talking about trips out to the beach and a possible rock climbing venture. 

Neither appealed to Ari but she knew that staying at the campsite was going to get odd looks. 

“Uh, beach I guess. I don’t fancy rock climbing in this weather.” She’d never heard herself sound so small, but Calum squeezed her hand.

“We can go look around the area if you want to. I know there are some local shops that we can raid before the barbeque later.” He murmured and her body relaxed in relief. 

“Just us?” 

“Just us. Maybe a moron or two if they don’t wanna be at the beach.” His voice grew slightly, earning annoyed protests from his friends.

Ari giggled as she lifted her head off his shoulders, placing a kiss to his cheek.

“You’re too good for me, Hood.”

Calum shrugged his shoulders as they moved to get read for the day, breakfast having been eaten between the group and plans finalised.

He wasn’t surprised at Luke and Ashton deciding to come with the two of them. The girls had grouped together for the beach and the rest of the guys were doing the rock climbing and joking about throwing Carl into the sea. 

“Touch my favourite medic and I’ll pull a Terry on you guys.” Ari teased as they all split between cars. This earned shouts of laughter as they headed off and Calum grinning as she settled into the front of his car, Luke and Ashton taking residence in the back.

“How come we get put to the backseat?” The complaint came from Luke as Calum drove into the town. Ashton snorted.

“You know that she gets front seat regardless. It’s become the unofficial rule of Calum’s car.” Ari could feel the embarrassment rise in her cheeks, but Calum took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

“She’s a prettier sight than you two fuckers in my front seat, that’s for sure.” This earned loud laughter as he pulled into the parking lot, his hand slipping back into Ari’s once he was on her side of the car.

“Anywhere in particular or are we window shopping?” Ashton asked as they began to make their way through.

“Start from the other end of the town and work our way back to the car. And fuck window shopping, I want to see all the shops.” Ari grinned at the two and Calum laughed at the looks of mock horror the other two shared.

“You two asked for it by joining us.” Calum teased as they began to make their way up the town.

It was a relief to be able to walk around, his fingers wrapped around hers, without paparazzi lurking around the next corner. He could see that Ari was visibly relaxing, and both Luke and Ashton were helping that with their comments on some of the stuff they were passing.

The beauty of being in a small seaside town, away from tourists and busy lives, no one cared about the four of them walking down the road. No one was bothered about the fact a world championship boxer was in their midst. 

“Can you two morons go head for a sec? We’ll catch up to you.” Calum’s words pulled a confused frown from Ari, but she didn’t protest as he led her over to one of the benches that looked out over the sea. Luke and Ashton carried on ahead, their voices carrying over for a few seconds before falling quiet.

 “Everything okay, Cal?” His lips curled up into the half smile that sent her heart racing.

“S’perfect sweetheart. But, I wanted to talk about us. And what better place to do it than in front of a setting so beautiful?” And she could feel her heart race as her mind began to whir with so many possibilities.

That was, until his lips found hers and her mind short-circuited for a second.

 “It’s nothing bad, I promise.” He whispered against her lips, and for the first time in her life, she believed those words.

“What about us, then?” 

Her eyes met his as he pulled back, his hands lifting up to cradle her face. She knew in that second that her heart was his, regardless of her insecurities. 

“Would you consider giving us a go? Letting me take you out on dates, spoil you, lavish my love upon you?” His words made a giggle escape, their noses bumping together as his thumbs stroked her cheeks softly. Her heart was melting.

“I mean, you do that enough already, don’t you?” Her tease was loud and clear and Calum chuckled softly.

“No, we go out in groups and you don’t argue with me anymore when I buy you shit. However, lavishing my love upon you is up for discussion. I want to lavish my love upon all of you. I currently only lavish my love upon you in certain ways.” 

“Big bad boxer, showing his emotions. Reckon that would be a good title for the tabloids?” And he couldn’t help but stare at her for a second before grinning.

“They know better than to antagonise me like that. But what do you say?” 

“Is this you asking to take me on a date or date me, because you’re not being precise here, Cal.” And he could hear her nerves, the anxiety slipping between the words. 

“I’m asking you to be my girlfriend, Arienne. My sweet, beautiful Arienne.” And she melted, the anxieties simmering down as her lips grew into a small smile.

“I’d love to be your girlfriend. On the condition that you tell those nosy buggers, that have been snapping photos of us for some time, to fuck off.” Calum couldn’t help but laugh before his met hers in a sweet kiss that sent her toes curling and her heart racing.

“I’ll only tell them to fuck off if they haven’t gotten a good picture of us together.” 

Ari lifted her hand, the backs of her fingers trailing against his cheek lightly.

“Eh, you can just get them later. Can we stay here for a bit?” His hands dropped from her face, his lips met hers once more as his hand took hers. When their lips pulled apart, he helped her shift in a comfortable position to lean against his chest as they watched the sun creep higher into the sky, the sounds of the sea washing over the two of them.

“Best idea I think.” 

—

Coming back from their road trip, there was a definite shift between the relationship. And Ari could feel it. But at the same time, she knew that this shift would favour both of them in the long run, or at least, that was what she hoped.

Once they were home, it turned into nervous energy and eventually once everyone else had called their goodbyes and disappeared, Ari could feel the nerves and anxiety return full force.

Ari began to unpack her clothes, ignoring the elephant in the room and Calum wasn’t having any of it. But he allowed her the time to unpack her clothes and put them in the washing machine, so once she’d shut the door and turned on the machine, his hands rested on the counter either side of her.

“Calum.” Her words were shaky and he pressed a gentle kiss to her neck.

She turned in his arms as he crowded against her, his body pressed against hers.

“We need to talk about us, Ari.” His words were quiet and she nodded, tilting her head back to look at him.

“Do you know how frightened I am of letting you see all of me?” The questioned stunned Calum and he cocked an eyebrow. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Cal, you’ve only ever been with skinny girls. Or at least, what can be seen from the pictures. I might be able to sleep with guys with no ease but there’s no emotional attachment. I don’t care about them. You? Do you realise how gutting it would be for me if, if it got to that point and you just-“ His lips cut off her rambling, keeping her pressed against the counter. 

“Stop. I like you for you, sweetheart. What I wanted to talk about was how do you want this to be handled because you know the tabloids are going to be cruel.”

Ari lifted her head almost defiantly. Calum smirked. 

“They can say what they want. I might have my own insecurities but I’ll be fucked if I let them ruin us.” And he grinned. 

“That’s my girl. Will you let me in? Trust me with all of you?” As he spoke, he began to guide her from the room, heading upstairs to her bedroom. She barely noticed, her eyes on his.

She knew that if she said stop, he would, no questions asked. But as they slowly made their way up, his hand in hers, Ari found herself not wanting to stop. 

She was nervous, but she wanted this, wanted him. 

They got to her room, the door softly clicking shut, but it sounded like a gunshot with how quiet they were.

He was waiting. 

He was waiting for her say so. And she realised then that if she had to fall in love with someone, she was glad it was him. 

“Make me yours, Cal.” She finally whispered. 

His lips met hers, her body melting to his touch and Ari allowed him to take her to new heights. 

The way that he’d worshipped her body, made her cry out his name as her fingers raked through the cropped hair, only to grip his biceps, Arienne was feeling overwhelmed.

But as Calum pulled her closer, his lips finding her shoulder, she couldn’t find it within herself to care about the anxiety.

“Round two, or do you think we need to clean up a bit?” His voice was gravelly, teasing and she couldn’t stop herself from burying her face into his chest as he laughed.

“You’re the worst, Hood.” She finally peeled her head back, her eyes meeting his. His lips were curved up into such a cheeky grin, she could feel her heart melting a little bit more. 

“But you love me right?” 

“Undoubtedly.” Came her answer and his heart soared as he pulled her closer, lips peppering every inch of skin he could reach. Ari shrieked, a giggle following as she tried to pull away, laughing as he continued the welcomed attack on her skin before he gave in to her pleas for him to stop.

“How about we get some food? I know you don’t have any in the house and we need to pick Duke up.” 

She snorted before agreeing and soon the pair of them were re-dressed, his grin appearing as he spotted the very visible mark he’d left on her neck. His fingers reached out, brushing it gently and she hummed softly.

“You didn’t get away scott free, Hood.” Her own fingers reached up to the marks she’d made, visible over the collar of his shirt. He laughed.

“Wanna take bets on how long it will take before they’re spotted?” 

“Five minutes.” She teased as they headed out.

Picking up Duke was quick and easy. He didn’t protest being in Ari’s lap, content to let her stroke his fur as they headed to their favourite take out place.

Cal went in to do the ordering, and Ari spotted the paps easily, making her roll her eyes as she focused her attention on Duke. 

“Camera’s, three o’clock.” She called to him as he left the shop, bag swinging. Lifting his gaze, he spotted them easily and sighed as he slid into his car, starting the engine up and leaning over to kiss her.

“If it’s a headline they want, it’s a headline they can get.” He murmured with a smile, making her laugh. 

As they drove past the spot that the pap was lurking, both of them raised their middle fingers up, peals of laughter escaping them both as he switched on the music and Ari was taken back to the shared moments on the road, just the two of them.

When they got back to hers, she immediately got some food sorted for Duke, having cared for him enough times for Calum when he had to travel out of state for games she couldn’t go to. He set their own dinner on the countertops, getting plates for the two of them before dishing up the meals. 

She accepted the plate with a small chaste kiss which left her grinning as they settled at the dining table, his phone going off.

It was Ashton.

“Nice to see you two really taking care of Cal’s image.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Ash.” Ari teased, knowing exactly what he was referring to. He let off an exasperated sigh in return.

“A photo of you two kissing, also someone has spectacularly zoomed in on the marks that someone left on my boxer.” The accusing tone made Ari laugh, Calum trying to hide his snort of amusement.

“Couldn’t be helped. It was skin begging to be-”

“Don’t wanna know thanks!” Ashton cut her off, the two of them breaking out into giggles. He sighed loudly before they calmed down, the giggles relaxing into amused smirks.

“Sorry Ash. I know you’d rather have us wait a few days, but I couldn’t see the point. Half the world knows I’m in love with her, so I might as well have confirmed it sooner or later.” Calum finally apologised and Ashton groaned.

“You two are ridiculous. I’ll send through the photos I got of you two on vacation, so you might as well use one of those to make it that ridiculous notion of being official. Cal, we still on for training after the weekend?” 

“Sure. Match booked I’m assuming?” 

“Yep. Also you have a rematch with Tarkston eventually. I’m working out a date with his management and then we can put together a regime. Which means no more takeouts.” The stern tone had the two of them grinning.

“Sure. Look, text me the details and we can start working on a basic routine on Monday. For now I don’t want to think about anything but spending time with my girl.” 

And there was the warm feeling that filled her heart, a beaming smile lifting at her lips as the call ended and his hand reached over to grasp hers.

And Ari felt that sense of warmth throughout her whole body, and she realised that he’d become her home. 

For the first time in years, she felt at peace.

-

tag list: @cals-babylons​​​​ , @glitterprincelu​​​​ , @calumspeachy​​​​ , @novacanecalum​​​ , @cosmocalum​​​​ , @monsteramongmikey​​​​ , @talkfastfletcher​​​​ , @hereforlukescruff​​​​ , @astroashtonio​​​​ , @catchinqcalum​​​​ , @5saucewho​​​​ , @dontstopisagoodsongchangemymind​​​​ , @therainydays4​​​​ , @asht0ns-world​​​​ , @silverchainbee​​​​ , @hidd3nfangirl​​​​ , @doodleasouarus​​​​ , @empathycth​​​​ , @mylovehes​​​​ , @songforhema​​​​ , @kinglyhood​​​​ , @youngblood199456​​​​ , @makecoffeenotwars​​​​ , @sunny-sos​​​​ , @softboycal​​​​ , @kinglycalum​​​​ , @you-of-ghost​​​​ , @meetyoutheremgc​​​​ , @lmao5sosimagines​​​​ , @lietoash​​​​ , @aw-hawkeye​​​ , @drummerboy794​​​​ , @itjustkindahappenedreally​​​​, @mycollectionofnuts​​​​, @abitloudforanaccousticset​​​​, @boytoynamedcalum​​​​ , @teampreator​​​​ , @dukehoods​​​​ , @dweebluke​​​​ , @calumculture​​​​ , @lashtoncurls​​​​ , @wildhearthood​​​​ , @gigglyirwin​​​​ , @blue-skies-are-alright​​​​ , @hearts-to-the-sky​​​​ , @tiddlerrr​​​​ , @all-i-want-is2b-loved-by-you​​​​ , @zooniah​​​​ , @cakeassx-blog​​​​ , @rotten-kandy​​​​ , @vipclifford​​​​ , @musiclover1263​​​​ , @rosecoloredash​​​​ , @jpgluke​​​​ , @cathartichaoss​​​​ , @5secondssofssummer​​​​ , @balsamichood​​​​ , @cliffordstxngue​​​​ , @lukesbellas , @myloverboyash​​​​ , @cxddlyash​​​​  , @gabiatthedisco​​​​ , @rosesfromcth​​​​ , @gorgeouslygrace​​​​ , @calumsssparkle​​​​ , @valentinelrh​​​​ , @meetashthere​​​​ , @softforcal​​​​ , @cakesunflower​​​​ , @sweetcherrymike​​ , @fangirlforever0704 , @caswinchester2000​​​​ , @long-termplanwithshort-termfixes , @josierosie​​​​ , @ashtoniwir​​​​ , @raabiac​​​​ , @burncrashbromance​​​​ , @killerlukesqueen​​​​ , @angelbabylu​​​​​ , @heartbreak-5sos​​​​ , @geeksareunique​​​​ , @singledadharrington​​​​ , @singt0mecalum​​​​ , @sugarcoated-pain​​​​​ , @sublimehood​​​​​ , @americanhorrorstudies​​​​ , @moonchildsblack​​​​ , @uncrownedqueeen​​​​ , @softforluke​​​​ , @lostincalum​​​​ , @colourfulcalum​​​​ , @calpops​​​​ , @rosecolouredash​​​ , @aftermidnightclifford​​​ , @nine-butterflies​​ , @dammitbands​ , @calpops​ ,