#did everyone just watch criss angels is douchebag and learn NOTHING?

[shanastoryteller]

it is so unbelievably, exceedingly obvious to me that part of s4 sam's determination to kill lilith is rooted in the question of could he have killed lilith? could he have really saved his brother from hell?

did he choose his moral high ground over his brother's life?

and if he did it, how can he ever bring himself to do that again? how could he make that same mistake twice?

of course he drinks the demon blood. how it even a question?

before, he abstained. he refused to become a monster. he thought his worst nightmare was becoming something dean would have to kill

then his brother went to hell for him and he realized his real worst nightmare

dean is gone and it's his fault - is it his fault? there's only one way to know for sure. which is to find out if he'd been capable of killing lilith if he'd just listened to ruby from the beginning

then he does kill lilith and frees lucifer and starts the apocalypse and okay, that's bad, but his first wash of horror has nothing to do with that

it's because it's true. he could have saved his brother

and he didn't