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caroline18mars · 6 years ago

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A Man On Fire - Chapter 48

Crowded restaurant, crowded club, too many smartphones about with a lot of cameras, so you ask for a vip area but what do you do when practically everyone in the club is in that VIP-area? Val, no stay away from me, we're being recognized already, or at least I am. “Val..come on, don't” he protested as she tried to put her arm around his waist and push herself up to him, as if to say, this one is all mine, we're an item, “don't what?” she flapped her eyelashes at him all innocently. “We're not an item anymore, Val, there's too many cameras about and I don't want to get into trouble with Harper, and neither do I want to have to explain things that might upset her because she might get the wrong idea” he took a step back to put enough distance between them. “Harper? Cool name” she deviously smiled at him, sipping her cocktail, “I'm serious Val, I think Harper is the one, I don't want to risk losing her over some stupid misunderstanding, so if you're looking to cause trouble, then it isn't going to work, ok? I appreciate you as a friend, I do, but you and I..nothing's ever gonna happen between us again, I just want to make that clear”. Val just shrugged to his statement “yeah yeah fuddy duddy, can we go dance now? Besides from what I saw on your Insta, she's too busy painting to make ends meet anyway, so she's not all that selfmade woman as she claims to be, she did need a little shoutout from sugardaddy to get some kind of career started, didn't she?” her sarcastic laughter bellowed loud over the music, making heads turn. “That's not..” he protested but she just spun on her heels, “Val?!..” he tried getting her attention but she ignored his plea, grabbed his wrist and pulled him over to the dancefloor.

A light knock on the door pulled her out of her concentration, no first this one piece of shade before he will just start babbling again, another impatient knock “hold on Sean, I'll be right there” she yelled in the direction of the door, what did he want now? Oh fuck this, she dropped the brush with a sigh and jumped off the scaffolding to open the door. God, she was getting sexier by the day, it took him every ounce of willpower to stay calm “hey, just thought I'd drop by and tell you the news” he smiled under her awkward, disturbed stare and brushed past her, not waiting for her to invite him. “Come right in” she snapped “what news?” she followed him into the kitchen where he was already raiding her fridge in search for a beer, it wasn't even noon yet, “Shannon called..” he smirked as he put the bottle to his mouth, “oh..” was all she could mutter as she started washing the paint from her hands. “Yep, apparantly they're in dire need of extra crew..so he asked me to join again” he sat down, “oh” she said again, she was a little shocked..and happy that he wouldn't be around to bother her anymore, but on the other hand she'd be alone in NY again and if and when she decided to fly back to Jared, her nemesis would be there too, she just couldn't win. “You clearly accepted, so when are you leaving?” drying her hands she avoided his stare, “tonight” he took another swig from his beer, “are you gonna say something other than just 'oh', come on, 'fess up, something is clearly bothering you”, ugh was that ugly smirk on his face really necessary?. “There's nothing bothering me, except for the fact that I was in the middle of something, so if there's nothing else..” she avoided his stare. “It's nearly noon, I'm hungry and so are you, I know because you're cranky, so why don't we go out for some lunch? We'll talk some more, and it'll give us some quality us-time before I leave again” his arm wrapped around her waist, wowww, wait a minute, don't you touch me, not after everything you've done and said. “Sorry, no can do, my muse is calling” she lied, it had stopped calling an hour ago, she just didn't want to go out with him, being forced to listen to his ranting about himself..it just threw her stomach in knots, she'd rather go out and have some lunch by herself and collect her thoughts. “Oh..” yes oh, now get out of my flat, you prick, “shame..ok, well I'll leave you to it then” he put his bottle down “am I still gonna see you before I leave tonight?” he was on the verge of pouting, “I'll call you, alright?” will you just go now?. Finally he followed her as she escorted him to the door, “Harp..” he tried again, clearly feeling uncomfortable, oh good, “why don't you come? I bet Jared is missing you already given the way he's behaving already, he's been acting like a frikking lunatic”. The mention of her lover's name made her head shoot up “huh? What do you mean?” don't listen to him, he's only trying to get under your skin with his bullshit, “uhmm..no, nothing, forget I said anything..” goddammit..no, don't fall for it, ignore him, “ok..well, have a safe flight..I'll see you when I see you” she flashed him an insecure smile, “I'll say hello to Jared” just GET OUT! “ok you do that! Bye Sean”, the slamming door nearly hit him on the ass, why was she so angry all of a sudden? Just because he told her the truth about that nitwit that was her boyfriend, pfff, whatever, I'll see you soon enough.

And there you had it, trouble caught on a couple of nosy cameras, he could already see the headlines and tweets, it was only a matter of seconds, he pulled out of her embrace that felt like a bodylock and stomped off, “Wait! Jared, come on, where are you going?” Val hopped after him, giggling and pushing herself a way through the crowd, “I'm not gonna do this here” he snarked when she grabbed his elbow and jumped in front of him, “do what? What is the problem, we were just dancing” that godawful grin of hers, she just refused to take anything seriously. “No we weren't, wait no, you weren't planning on just dancing, you had this planned all along, didn't you? You knew what you were doing and you knew there were gonna be cameras about, private club? my foot!” he hissed, no, don't give her the satisfaction, just stay calm and get out of here. Outside the club the rain was pouring down mercilessly, where was that car on stand-by when you needed it? No cab? Fine, he would just walk then, he needed to cool down anyway! Walking down the street his heart hammered, he was so sick of being around all those people who loved causing drama, this was supposed to be an innocent night out, some alcohol, some dancing moves that needed to be tested, catching up with old friends and all of a sudden she'd turned it into some kind of sleazy freakshow with groping and grinding, performing her own little porn video in front of eager cameras. Harper baby, I miss you, sure I want to be the understanding boyfriend of a multitalented artist who needs time to herself, but I don't know if I can for much longer, I don't even want to think this but I hope the inspiration dries up a bit, so you can finally come over, god now I really sound like the egotistical jerk/boyfriend. He should call her, that video is gonna be all over social media and what if she sees it..a limo splashed through the driving rain and lowered speed next to him “yo, Cinderella, why don't you get in the car?” the window lowered and the head of his drunk brother appeared. He stopped walking and tried to see who else was in the car, there was Stevie..oh fuck it, a warm and dry car sounded like music to his ears now, so he hopped in, “Val's looking for you” his brother had to suppress a giggle, “just shut up Shannon” he snapped as he pulled off his jacket, soaking the leather seat next to him. “You're the one who said it would be fun having her around” Shannon shrugged, “guess I forgot how much trouble she is, I want her off this tour” his little brother pulled his long hair up into a wet, messy bun. “I thought you loved trouble, looks like Harper's got you on a tight leash already” Shannon raised his eyebrows, he wasn't particularly fond of proverbial leashes, not on himself and not on his little brother. “Not that it's any of your business but I'm not on anyone's leash, alright? Harper's my girl and Val still thinks she is, I won't let her destroy what Harper Coco and I have, nope! So you got her on this tour, you can get her out of it as well, is that understood?”.

Should he send her an e-mail? A text maybe, that was a lot quicker in putting her and his mind at ease that everything was ok, and that she probably would never see the pics of him and Val, right a text it was. On the other side of the ocean, Harper pushed the last asparagus around the plate, she was feeling the fatigue of being cooped up all day inside the loft, and from being in the same position too long, it was good to be out and even better being without Sean, a bleep interrupted her thoughts. 'Wish you were here, I miss you so bad..<3' aw Jay, you hopeless romantic, 'I miss you too, but the question is: what are you doing up so late, I know for a fact that it's the middle of the night there right now' she put the phone down and then quickly picked it up again to google the time difference, see? 5 AM..no time for Jay to be up yet. 'We all went to this club and I just got back, a lot of drinks and people who like to pretend they're 'with the band', but all I really want is to be with YOU!', aha parties parties parties, it was moments like these that she actually realized that the man who she was dating was famous, and it never ceased to be weird..and fun, but the drama that surrounded him she could do without, and there was drama, she could read it in the text. Sean's words hammered through her head, he was acting like a lunatic he'd said, uh enough with the texting, the only way to find out if something happened was to call him, she could always hear it if he was upset or angry. His phone rang just as he was sliding into bed, “You ok? Did something happen? I'm a bit worried” her voice danced in his ear, and his entire body instantly reacted, “oh babe, I'm so glad you called, you don't have to worry..how's things back there? I'm just trying my very best not to miss you too much, or I would get on a plane back to the States right now” he pinched the bridge of his nose, if she knew what happened back in the club. “So..did Sean arrive safely?” he could hear her swallow hard, “huh? Sean?” what? Where?, “Yeah Sean, you know, you invited him back on tour..I just don't understand ..”, her voice was so hard all of a sudden. “I honestly don't know anything about that..maybe Shannon asked him..” he heard the fast beeps of a second call coming in, whoever it was it would just have to wait, his girl always had priority. “Oh..” was all she said, he wasn't gonna let this conversation turn in to a a flaming row, “babe, I honestly don't know anything about it, I'll talk to Shannon in the morning, ok? Let's not talk about Sean right now, let's talk about us, how about that mail you sent where you were being just a little bit horny” he tried to change the subject and gladly, phonesex was not the real thing, but right now it was better than no sex at all, missing her this much was simply unbearable. “Well played, Leto!” she giggled a little and it was music to his ears “but I'm too tired, I just want to go to bed and sleeeeeppp, been a long day, just tell me everything is ok over there and you're fighting every temptation that I'm sure is surrounding you there” her voice rolled calm and sweet in his ears. “Everything is ok” no hesitation, you have to sound convinced and put her mind at ease “I don't have to fight, because there is no temptation, and if there was, all you have to remember is that I chose you..in a hundred..a thousand lives I will always choose you, I love you Harper Coco and there's nothing you can do about that”. A tear trickled down her cheek and she let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding “I love you too, so much..I'll be with you before you know it” she smiled through her tears “Dream about me when you go to sleep, I'll do exactly the same”. Jared closed his eyes “Promise, talk to you in a couple of hours? Call me when you wake up? Goodnight gorgeous..” they both whispered their goodbyes until the inevitable dry click of a disconnected call followed. He put the phone back on the nightstand, rolled on his side and turned off the light, what he didn't hear was the door opening and someone tiptoeing into the room, he was just too tired and he was already sinking into a deep sleep when he was rudely awakened by a body sliding into bed with him, a hand snaking around his chest, a warm breath against his ear “you can't escape me now”.

#jared leto #jared leto fanfic #jared leto fanfiction #fanfic #fic #fanfiction #30 Seconds To Mars #30 seconds to mars fanfic #a man on fire #chapter 48 #Harper Coco #Harper and Jared #caroline18mars

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katjacksonbooks · 6 years ago

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For @thearcherballet

Times Square [Mike gets a new pair of shoes. Precious and Cali have thoughts.]

Mike didn’t put much stock in all of the swag floating around photo shoots. Brand managers handed out watches, shoes, jewelry, scooters, bags and whatever luxury item on hand to their favorite models like candy, pretending that these expensive gifts were trifles, nothing to think twice about. But all models understood that these gifts came with strings.

In the best case scenario, the brand manager might encourage a model to pick out a high end bag and the social media manager might blithely compliment the color choice, offer to take a picture and then next thing anyone knew, the picture was plastered over the brand’s social media. A free advertisement. The worst case scenario was far too common and destructive and made this kind of underhanded maneuver feel innocent by comparison. That’s why Mike’s policy on free swag at photoshoots was not to take anything that cost more than he was hypothetically willing to pay. He had a reputation for turning down gifts from agents and photographers that he didn’t know well or knew too well to trust.

But Kendall Wallace was his favorite photographer and he trusted her completely. Her shoots were always easy, relaxed. She usually created a music playlist to invoke the mood of the photoshoot. And since her specialty was athletics the music allowed Mie to step onto her sets with relaxed muscles and blood pumping. He didn’t have to fake any smiles for Kendall’s cameras. So when she suggested that he keep the pair of multicolored Balenciaga Triple S sneakers he’d been shocked.

“Seriously?”

She rolled her eyes and laughed. “Don’t give me that cute Midwestern golly gosh shit.”

He moved to swipe the piece of hair from his forehead that always fell across his forehead into his eyes – which Precious liked to braid and Cali threatened to cut while he was asleep – and then aimed a broad, toothy grin at Kendall. “You sure about that?”

Kendall burst into laughter and doubled over. “Oh my god, you’re the worst. I don’t know how your girlfriends can stand you when you get like this.”

Mike shrugged and then laughed, “What can I say, I’m charming.”

Kendall wiped her eyes and shook her head. “Keep the shoes and get out of my studio before you set something on fire with all of that charm.”

Mike sobered. “Are you sure? They’re expensive.”

This wasn’t his Midwestern innocence, it was practicality. Mike had been admiring the shoes for months, hunting down reviews on his favorite fashion blogs and checking out styling options on Instagram obsessively. But he’d done so mostly as a fantasy endeavor. He would never be able to justify spending $900 on a pair of shoes. He and Cali had great careers for the moment, but fashion was a fickle industry and health insurance was expensive. And Precious’s stipend was enough for her to survive, especially on one third of the rent and bills, but she lived frugally otherwise. They all did. They preferred instead to stash their money away for a rainy day or, in the far far future, a down payment on their own house wherever Precious got an academic job after she graduated.

That’s why he’d been so excited to model for Kendall today. The chance to wear the shoes he’d been obsessing over was an experience he couldn’t pass up. And that would have been enough for him. But to wear them out of Kendall’s studio, to own them, felt like a fever dream.

But Kendall, only a couple of years older than Mike, had been in the fashion business her entire life. The daughter of one of Gianni Versace’s favorite avant garde artists and an original supermodel, Kendall’s first photoshoot at six months old was featured in Elle. She was literally fashion royalty.

She looked at Mike, her hands stilling over the case of camera lenses she was organizing.

“They’re not that expensive. And the company said I could do whatever I wanted with them after the shoot. They’re not my style, but they look good on you. Besides, I saw the way your eyes lit up when you put them on.” She smirked at him. “Only someone as beautiful as you can make those godawful things look good.”

Mike’s cheeks warmed in a gentle blush.

“Oh god, now you’re blushing. Go,” Kendall laughed.

“Okay, let me just get a picture first,” he said. He toed off his old sneakers and stuffed them into the Balenciaga box and stuffed that into his backpack. He carefully slipped the Balenciaga’s on and then turned to the mirrored wall at the back of Kendall’s studio. He crouched down in a squat on one knee, held his phone in one hand and draped the other over his bent knee and then relaxed his face. He didn’t point at the shoes like he wanted to as if to say “holy shit, look what I got.” He looked casual, relaxed, handsome. When he found a picture he liked, he posted it to his Instagram, stood, grabbed his bag and ran to Kendall, kissing her on the cheek quickly

“Blech,” she said, and wiped at her face. “Go, farm boy.”

“Thanks, Ken,” he yelled over his shoulder.

Her laughter followed him out into the hallway.

***

Mike hated Times Square. Normally he stayed as far away from the tourist trap as he could. But tonight he had no choice.

He was standing just outside the turnstile at the 42nd Street subway station waiting. He was early, which was a rarity, but he’d come prepared. He’d pulled his Nintendo Switch from his backpack and then leaned his back against the wall. He lost himself in his video game, the distant sounds of people – so many people – around him fading away.

He wasn’t sure exactly how long he’d been there, but a voice cut through his focus. He paused his game automatically, not wanting to lose his life or progress because some tourist wanted to know which way to the Hard Rock Café.

“Excuse me sir, are you lost?”

Mike’s brow furrowed and he swiveled his head to the right to find Cali staring at him with concern.

“Are you lost? Did you misplace your family? Your wife, probably named Nancy, and your two kids, Sally and Justin?”

“What?” Mike asked, wondering in the back of his head if he needed to call Dr. Toussaint.

Cali came closer and reached tentatively to put her hand on his shoulder. “Is your name Tom? Are you some recently divorced dad from Iowa on vacation? Because that is the only way to explain those ugly ass shoes.” Cali burst out laughing.

Mike rolled his eyes.

Cali’s laughs grew louder, her body heaving as she leaned into his side, laughing directly into his ear.

“Are you done?” He asked after a while.

She laughed harder in response. In fact, she was still laughing when he spotted Precious.

He raised his hand to catch her attention just as she walked through the turnstile.

She smiled and waved back and practically ran toward them.

But a few feet away she started yelling. “Steve. Steve. Oh my god, Steve.”

Mike looked from side to side and then yelled back. “Who the fuck is Steve?”

She bounced into his arms, jostling him and a still hysterical Cali, who didn’t seem to notice.

She gave him a kiss on the lips and smiled up at him.

He smiled back, “Who the fuck is Steve?”

“Well you, duh. Only a suburban dad from Wyoming named Steve would wear these horrible shoes,” she said, dropping her gaze to stare at his feet.

Cali’s giggles were louder in his ear.

“You two planned this didn’t you?” He asked, frowning.

Cali rested her head on his shoulder and looked up at him. She opened her mouth to answer but then laughed some more.

Precious looked up at him through her long, inky eyelashes and said in her most serious voice, “Of course we did. If we don’t tease you, who will?”

He rolled his eyes again, “These shoes are designer.”

Precious leaned up to kiss him again, “These shoes are hideous.”

“You just don’t understand fashion,” he said in a weak reply.

“Oh babe, if this is fashion, I agree. I do not understand,” Precious said. “But don’t worry. I still think you’re cute.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Just cute?”

“Well,” Precious said with a shrug. “If you take off the ugly shoes and maybe your shirt, I’d be willing to reconsider.” She pressed her body more fully into his side, molding to him the way they liked.

If they hadn’t had anything to do tonight, anywhere to be, he would have let Precious flirt him into submission. She could do that and they all knew it. Even Cali’s laughter had simmered to a chuckle. If Mike let her, Precious could lead them back through the turnstile, onto the train home, slowly ratcheting up the temperature of their lust with softly whispered words and surreptitious touches that no one could see and only he and Cali could feel. If he let her, they’d be kissing sloppily in their building’s elevator, already stripping off their clothes in the hallway outside of their door, fingers fumbling to insert the key into the lock.

If he let her.

But he couldn’t let her. They had a date.

“Later,” he whispered to Precious and flexed hand at Cali’s waist.

“Later,” Precious whispered back.

Cali’s response was a small brush of her lips at Mike’s throat.

***

They maneuvered through the crush of people in the early evening pedestrian trap, he and Precious each holding one of Cali’s hands.

When they reached the right intersection, they crossed to the pedestrian plaza.

“Here?” Precious asked.

Cali let go of their hands and opened her purse, pulling out her cell phone. “I think so,” she mumbled as she scrolled on her phone.

Mike pulled his backpack off of one shoulder. He unzipped it and fished around inside for the small, individual glasses of wine he’d bought for the occasion. He handed one to Precious and held onto his and Cali’s. He slipped his backpack back on as he turned around in a circle.

“There it is,” he said.

Cali and Precious turned to look. Precious squealed and jumped up and down.

The large, backlit advertisement was for a new jewelry company started by an actress looking to diversify her profile from waifish ingénue to eclectic artist. The company had contacted Cali to be the face of their brand before they even had a launch date for the first collection. They’d been attempting to cast a man for their engagement campaign but hadn’t liked any of the male models they saw. Cali had suggested Mike and they’d loved the idea of having a real life couple for the shoot. Mike and Cali had smiled and shot each other knowing looks every time someone called them a couple.

“Ah, it’s so beautiful,” Precious said.

The picture was black and white, mimicking an engagement photoshoot. Cali’s head was on Mike’s chest, his strong, angular jaw was resting on the top of her curls. Her hand was in the center of the frame, perfectly displaying the enormous solitaire diamond ring on her left ring finger.

“Do you like it?” Cali asked, reaching for one of the glasses of wine in his hand.

He handed it over and nodded. “My jaw looks great.”

She pushed his arm and smiled. “You’re terrible.”

Mike grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him. Their mouths pressed together and Cali smiled through their kiss, her tongue teasing his lips, but never fully pushing into his mouth.

Mike could still hear Precious squealing in delight, but he stopped kissing Cali only when he heard her speaking.

“Hello, sir. Hi,” Precious said.

Mike looked up to see her waving down a short Arab man trying to cross the street in peace. She pointed at their ad.

“Look at that. That’s my boyfriend and girlfriend on an ad in Times Square,” she exclaimed. And then she pointed behind her at them, Cali still in Mike’s arms. “That’s them.”

Mike and Cali turned to one another and smiled. When Mike looked back, the man was walking quickly away, shaking his head as he looked over his shoulder at them.

“Wait sir, it really is them. Don’t mind his ugly shoes. He really is a model,” she yelled.

Mike frowned at the back of Precious’s head. Cali burst into another fit of laughter.

Undeterred, Precious called out to another random passerby. “Excuse me, ma’am. Look.” She was pointing again at their ad. “You probably won’t believe this because of his shoes but-”

“Alright enough,” Mike said, releasing a laughing Cali to grab Precious around her waist from behind. He lifted her easily and moved her away from the woman. He gave the woman a smile that he hoped reassured her, but she only clutched her purse tighter to her side and hurried away.

Cali was laughing hysterically while Mike held Precious against his side.

“The shoes aren’t that ugly,” he said to Precious.

She relaxed against him as he lowered her feet back on the ground. She tilted her head back to his shoulder and looked up at him. “I love how optimistic you are,” she said and then joined Cali as she erupted in a fit of giggles.

Eventually he stood there, his hands on his hips, waiting for Precious and Cali’s laughter to subside.

But as he was waiting, a man around their age passed them by, did a double take, and then yelled out to Mike, “Yo are those the new Balenciaga’s?”

“Yea,” Mike yelled back.

“Aight! Those are fresh as hell,” the stranger responded with a smile and then disappeared into the crowd.

“Thank you,” Mike yelled triumphantly, but not at the man. He turned his bright eyes at Precious and Cali who had stopped laughing and were looking at him with pursed lips and rolling eyes. “Fashion!”

#Room for Three?

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lunapaper · 4 years ago

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The year was 2010. Emo was just starting to die out (long live the scene). I was studying to become a secondary school teacher, and Katy Perry was shooting whipped cream out of her boobs...

Second albums, more often than not, fail to live up to the hype. And yet, Teenage Dream has somehow endured.

While Perry’s 2008 debut, One of the Boys, launched her into the mainstream, it really hasn’t aged all that well. On tracks like ‘Self Inflicted’ and ‘Fingerprints,’ she tries way too hard to emulate Paramore’s bold pop punk. On others, she attempts to rebel against her gospel roots by turning the bawdiness up to 10.

It can also come off pretty juvenile at times. The singer was almost 25 when she sang on the title track: ‘So over the summer, something changed/I started reading Seventeen and shaving my legs/And I studied Lolita religiously/And I walked right in to school and caught you staring at me.’

But let’s be honest: Even though it’s been declared ~problematic~, you still jam out to ‘I Kissed A Girl’ when you hear it, don’t you? I hadn’t listened to ‘Ur So Gay’ before this, either, but its slinky, jazz-infused vibe absolutely slaps.

Like Teenage Dream is also a product of its time, presenting pop at its most sugary, hook-laden and bombastic. It managed to spawn 5 No.1 singles, the second album in history to do so after Michael Jackson’s Bad, as well as a documentary, Part of Me. There’s even a deluxe edition, cleverly titled The Complete Confection. It was Perry at her peak.

You know the title track, of course. Evoking images of cherry red lipstick, tight denim and driving down an empty highway in summer, Perry desperately clings to the memory of young love, breathlessly pleading ‘don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back.’

‘The One That Got Away,’ meanwhile, is its bittersweet sequel, Perry's lovesick nostalgia now tinged with regret. Yet, the only thing I really remember about the song is the video starring Cassian Andor himself, Diego Luna, as Perry’s past love, the beautifully dishevelled and tortured artist of my dreams (Dear God, that penetrating stare...) He’s also the only reason why anyone bothered to watch Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, if it wasn’t already obvious.

First single ‘California Gurls,’ on the other hand, is pure pop exuberance at its most campy and carefree, indicative of a more innocent time when it wasn’t driven by algorithms or social media. ‘Firework’ is still a go-to empowerment anthem for just about every kind of montage imaginable. ‘ET’ (featuring a pre-’presidential’ Kanye) is heavily-synthesised cyber pop that doesn’t get nearly enough love.

But Teenage Dream, in retrospect, has quite a few misses. ‘Peacock’ is just one big, long, glitchy dick joke. ‘Not Like The Movies’ is big ballad schmaltz. The brassy soft rock of ‘Hummingbird Heartbeat,’ meanwhile, opens with a hell of a line: ‘You make me feel like I'm losing my virginity/The first time, every time when you're touching me.’ And I’m pretty sure ‘What Am I Living For?’ is partly plagiarised from Justin Timberlake’s ‘My Love.’ Even Pitchfork awarded Teenage Dream a rather tame 6.8 in their recent retrospective review.

By the time Perry released Prism in 2013 – her ‘darker, moodier’ record - she had shifted further into ‘inspirational anthems.’ There was the inescapable mega-hit ‘Roar,’ the saccharine power ballad ‘Unconditionally’ and the Eastern-tinged ‘Legendary Lovers,’ complete with wellness and spiritual motifs.

But it wasn’t without its bangers: ‘Dark Horse’ (featuring Juicy J) jumped onto the trap pop bandwagon just in time with its subterranean bass and eerie, otherworldly synths. Even the slick, 90s-indebted ‘This Is How We Do’ has a certain charm.

Prism also marked the point where Perry’s invincibility began to wear off. Where the masses once lapped up her candy-coated antics, they were now calling her out for wearing braids in the video for ‘This Is How We Do’ and dressing up as a geisha during a performance at the American Music Awards.

And they would only get louder during her era of ‘purposeful pop.’ Released in the aftermath of the 2016 US election, Witness was meant to cement Perry as ‘Artist. Activist. Conscious’ - as her Twitter bio read at the time. She had joined Hillary Clinton on the campaign trail. On Instagram, she was quoting the likes of Socrates and Plato. She was Woke now, and she was telling anyone who’d listen.

Yet you’d be hard pressed to find much trace of this ‘purposeful pop’ on Witness, bar the first single, ‘Chained to the Rhythm.’ Written with Sia and Max Martin, the singer implores listeners to ‘put your rose-coloured glasses on and party on’ amid whirling, colourful synths.

The rest of the record, however, is made up of either soppy, overly sentimental ballads (‘Save As Draft,’ ‘Pendulum,’ ‘Into Me You See’), awkward lyrical turns and CHVRCHES/Purity Ring knock-offs (‘Hey Hey Hey,’ ‘Roulette,’ ‘Deja Vu’).

Funnily enough, Purity Ring’s Corin Roddick produced some of Witness’ better tracks: ‘Mind Maze’ and the soaring ballad ‘Miss You More, along with ‘Bigger Than Me.’

Final track ‘Act My Age,’ meanwhile, feels like a pre-emptive strike against the criticism Witness would inevitably receive (‘They say that I might lose my Midas touch/They also say I may become irrelevant/But who the fuck are they anyway?’).

Then there’s the godawful ‘Bon Appetit’ (featuring Migos) with its food-related double entendres. It was ‘Yummy’ before ‘Yummy’ existed. Seriously, I just wanna see Orlando Bloom say he likes this song with a straight face...

But I will still defend ‘Swish Swish’ to the death. Do the lyrics suck? Yeah, but Perry’s never been the strongest lyricist. But its pulsing 90s house beat does a lot of the heavy lifting, along with Nicki Minaj’s spitfire verse.

The promotional rollout for Witness, meanwhile, proved just as messy. Among the most infamous was a 72-hour livestream, where voyeurs got to witness Perry sleep, meditate, do yoga and welcome a random assortment of guests, including Gordon Ramsey and activist DeRay McKesson. Then there was the meme-laden video for ‘Swish Swish. She literally served herself up on a platter in the clip for ‘Bon Appetit.’ She tried reigniting her feud with Taylor Swift on James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke. Needless to say, it reeked of desperation.

Looking back, though, you can’t help but feel a little bad for Perry, trying so hard to please only for it to blow up spectacularly in her face. So devastated, it sent her to the Hoffman Institute, which offers an abridged version of therapy. As she later told the Guardian:

‘I think the universe was like, ‘OK, all right, let’s have some humble pie here […] My negative thoughts were not great. They didn’t want to plan for a future. I also felt like I could control it by saying, ‘I’ll have the last word if I hurt myself or do something stupid and I’ll show you’ — but really, who was I showing?’

But although Witness lacked the perkiness of Teenage Dream or the cartoonish charm of One of the Boys, it shines best on its darker moments.

‘Dance With The Devil’ has the kind of smoky allure that wouldn’t look too out of place on a BANKS album, while ‘Power’ is a revelation. Produced by Jack Garrett, what could’ve been yet another dull empowerment ballad is turned into a gritty, groaning slab of vaporwave pop, with sultry sax riffs that sample, of all things, Smokey Robinson’s ‘Being With You.’ It’s electric as fuck. You believe it when Perry sings: ‘’Cause I'm a goddess and you know it/Some respect, you better show it/I'm done with you siphoning my power.’

If the singer had just done away with the whole ‘purposeful pop’ concept and stuck with Garrett, Roddick and Terror Jr’s Felix Snow as her core producing group, Witness probably wouldn’t have been half the failure it was. It could’ve had a chance to grow on people, the kind of slow burn Perry could’ve gotten away with at this point in her career. The cyberpop dystopian feel also could’ve gone hand in hand with her newfound wokeness, echoing people’s fear and anger in the aftermath of Trump’s win. But alas, we’ll never know...

While the rollout for Witness over the top, Smile’s was lacklustre and wildly inconsistent.

First single ‘Never Really Over’ came out a whole 15 months before the release of Smile to little fanfare, along with a hippie-inspired video to match. ‘Harleys in Hawaii’ later followed, which also stuck with the flower power aesthetic. Other singles - ‘Daisies’ and the title track – seemingly came and went without a trace.

So how did Katy Perry get to this point? And is there any chance of coming back?

It’s hard to say. A lot of artists go through a rough patch or two: Miley's twerking antics divided audiences when she released 2013’s Bangerz. Taylor Swift’s reputation divided audiences. Only in recent years has Lady Gaga’s ARTPOP been vindicated. Such is the nature of music and pop culture in general. It’s fickle, just one vicious cycle after another; an endless quest for trend-bait that'll never end.

Right now, disco pop is going through a renaissance, while hyperpop reigns supreme. Dua Lip and Charli XCX are basically untouchable at the moment. TikTok has taken over from Top 40 radio when it comes to breaking hits, while the gap between album releases has also grown shorter and shorter. Even the nature of fandom has changed, shifting from old-school elitism to the bloodsport that is ‘stanning,’ along with an unhealthy amount of ‘endless simping’ (to quote a close friend of mine).

Perry, meanwhile, has failed to keep up, choosing to play it safe in order to avoid further scrutiny. But in doing so, she strips away the humour, the mischief and other idiosyncrasies that fans fell in love with in the first place.

But what choice did she have? As Junkee’s Sam Murphy notes in his own piece about Perry’s rise and fall:

‘At that point, you have two choices as a popstar — hunt for relevancy or make what comes naturally to you. Perry chose the former and came unstuck. She inserted vague wokeness into her songs as cancel culture infiltrated pop, tacked on rap features as hip-hop became the dominant commercial genre, and worked with producers who may have been able to find her credibility.’

(Full disclosure: I started writing my piece on Perry back in December 2020, so the timing of Murphy’s piece and mine is purely coincidental).

Even if you don’t believe in cancel culture, no one actually wants to be cancelled. It’s just not good for PR, especially for someone with an image as glossy and as carefully put-together as Perry’s. Even now, she continues to atone for Witness, telling the LA Times: ‘Having more awareness and consciousness, I no longer can just be a blissful, ignorant idealist who sings about love and relationships […] Even my travels have afforded me a new perspective on cultures, class systems and the inequality around the world, not just in the United States,’ though she carefully avoids the subject of politics on Smile.

But redemption is possible. Swift – Perry's one-time nemesis - was a total pariah back in 2016, mocked for her Girl Squad, for diddling the Hiddles while on the rebound from Calvin Harris and criticised for remaining coy on her political leanings. Now she’s earning indie cred with two of 2020’s biggest albums, folklore and evermore, and has thrown her support behind a number of social causes.

The devil works hard, but Swift’s PR team work harder. I might not be her biggest fan, but Taylor works Kris Jenner levels of mastery when it comes to rebuilding public sentiment. Thanks to her newfound indie cred, you’ve almost forgotten about the pastel atrocity ‘Me!,’ her 2019 duet with that insufferable drama kid cliché, Brendon Urie. Shifting her songs away from petty grievances to more original storytelling was also a smart move.

But while Swift has managed to move on, Perry seems to have fallen into the same adult contemporary trap as Gwen Stefani, Kelly Clarkson, Christina Aguilera and Pink, one that ensnares many female artists over 30 (Though many have also managed to escape – Gaga, Taylor, Beyonce, Rihanna, Kesha, Robyn...)

As ‘woke’ as the industry and fans at large might think themselves to be, they’re still pretty ageist. There's still an expectation to ‘mature’ your sound as you age, to become more ‘serious.’ No more fun, no more experimenting, boomer. But when you do end up filing away the edges, you’re called dull, generic and past your prime. Perry said as much on the aforementioned ‘Act My Age. You just. can't. win.

And yet, many female artists over 30 have created some of their best work yet in just the past year or so: Hayley Williams made the dramatic shift from pop rock to low-key, Radiohead-inspired tunes on her solo debut, Petals For Armor. Fiona Apple’s Fetch the Bolt Cutters was hailed by critics as her most bold, urgent and visceral. Jessie Ware’s What’s Your Pleasure? was a cut of understated disco pop elegance. Carly Rae Jepsen, meanwhile, released an equally stellar companion to 2019’s Dedicated.

At this point in her career, Perry could afford to follow a similar path to that of the Canadian singer. Once the meme value of ‘Call Me Maybe’ wore off, along with her mainstream appeal, Jepsen finally had a chance to discover real creative freedom, pushing her sound to greater heights and earning critical acclaim, all without having to compromise her love for catchy hooks and bold synth pop arrangements.

A couple of years ago, a Reddit user made a post about participating in a focus group held by Perry’s label to discuss why she’s ‘no longer one of the[ir] most notable female pop artists,’ and ‘what can [they] do with her image or marketing to make you care about her again?’

It’s depressing to think that an artist as accomplished as her needs a focus group to help solve her identity crisis. There really is no easy answer. Hopefully, Perry will be able to return more vibrant and assured than ever, on her own terms...

-Bianca B.

#music #katy perry #longform #opinion #new #Bianca B

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violetbeachpod · 7 years ago

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TRANSCRIPT: Episode Five - Aftermath

AJ:

Um. Here’s what we know. Here is what we fucking know, y’all.

It’s AJ, by the way, I’m--I’m here. Right now. Here and--

Teresa’s still gone, like--not a text, not. Nothing. We’re, like, collectively doing her homework, but she has an exam coming up, so--We can’t disguise ourselves as her. So. That’s problematic. And that’s also the event of the week. The weird happening of the day. The mystery of the moment. Etcetera.

So. Here’s my intro, and I’m still trying to figure out why we need those, like--look, guys, we’re all friends, here. Or acquaintances. We’ve seen some shit together, I think, i.e. a person we know literally vanishing into an orb of light, so, uh. Yeah. I think we’re at least friend-adjacent, at this point. Still running the numbers on that one.

So, like, I don’t see the point in it. Cuz after T went missing, I doubt that Benji’s publishing these bad boys anywhere online. Cuz, uh. This ain’t Serial. I am not participating in any true crimes. Or fake crimes. Maybe imaginary crimes, or irrational crimes, or--I only have a B in Calc, I have no right to make half-assed and half-asleep number jokes, never mind that. It--it wasn’t even clever, it was just. Lazy. And bad. And I can do better. Whatever.

Do I--do I still have a B in Calc? I feel like I did okay on last week’s--lemme check, real fast, this’ll just take a sec--Angie, your password’s--ah, yeah, nevermind, I remember it. It’s AngieCowgirl72 Exclamation Point. I remember that. No need to talk.And I made you add the exclamation point. Because security, and you use the same--Yeah, I’ll shut up, whatever, I just--lemme check this grade real fast--

[beat, typing]

Ah, shit. Shit. It went down. Shit. My dad’s gonna kill me. Lemme--uh. I can email Paula later. Gotta--gotta handle the real life stuff first.

So. My point. That thing. It’s. It’s just, that-- Um. Shit. You guys already know who I am.

[beat]

But, like, in case I go missing, or whatever, because that’s a possibility now! I guess! So. Bio. Autobio? Do people--do people shorten it to autobio? Memoir? I--I never remember the difference between those two, I think this is a memoir. So. My name’s AJ Diggs, uh, Aaron Jacobi Diggs, but, like--AJ. It’s AJ. Just--just stick with the nickname. So, uh, I’m a student and a coffee-dude, I only listen to, like, witch house and lo-fi folk punk--because. Uh. No, Angie, I won’t check out your sophomore album Refuge now streaming on most sites for free, no guest stars on this show. We signed an agreement that you would not derail my show and tell.

Well, if we’re not calling it show and tell, what are we calling it, Angela?

My point is, I’m a self-acknowledged pretentious ass, but, like I’m hardcore. Regardless.

And we need hard facts that, that’s--, I’m seventeen, I’m, uh--from Moco, uh, Gaithersburg, specifically, originally, moved here when I was twelve ish, and, uh, started over, kinda.

That’s something people do when they move, right? I think so. Cuz. I did that. I was in a pretty negative zone, back there. Great city. Great people. Terrible, godawful tweens. Just mean tweens. And teens. And kids.

So, I transferred into Corielli, been there ever since, and, uh. I live on Nightingale and Seaview, and, uh, I’m an AB blood type. I don’t know my social security number, but you can just ask my manager, like, I think she memorizes everyone’s and commits fraud constantly. And if this leaks, Amanda? I don’t regret saying that. I don’t! I know you used my debit card to buy muffins when I left it in the breakroom, Amanda. I know. And they weren’t even for me, cuz they were walnut ones and I know that you know about my nut allergy. Amanda. You know about my nut allergy.

Anyway. I’m currently recording from, because they have a mic and I do not, Angie and Teresa’s dorm, within the bathroom of which Angie is currently pacing, not saying anything, which is exactly the opposite of what she usually does, so, uh, we know something bad’s happened regardless of previous context. Just to. Set the scene, kinda. Some good visuals, and what have you, we gotta keep this as cinematic as possible. Also, this room’s walls are gray and have, like, emo music posters everywhere, so--let’s erase that and pretend it’s yellow with paintings on it. Maybe some faded pink or bright red accents. And I’m in the center of the shot. And this mic is old-fashioned Yeah, you got it. Right there.

Just got a typo-filled text about how these posters are not of emo bands, and, Angie, it’s good to know that that’s your top priority right now? Just sayin’. We agreed no guest stars, too, so, uh, get out of my recording. Dude. No texting. You can keep--pacing, and, uh, writing in dry-erase on your mirror, but. Get out of my recording.

Mae Babson The New Transfer Student came into the shop with Charlotte yesterday. If you want an update on that plot point. I think they’re together? She texted me an emoji code that I haven’t cracked yet. So I think that something happened. Also, she knows my name, which--I have not introduced myself to her. She and I do not have any classes together. She shouldn’t know that. I’m a pretty--I’m a private person. I have a mysterious image to maintain. And then, at the store, she, like, whispered her order? And I already had Charlotte’s going, like, I was pulling those shots, already, and then, she whispers her order. And I can hear, just fine, it’s just--she then says these three word, she said, uh.

[SOUND CUE 1: ACCIDENT]

[SOUND CUE 2: CONSTANT]

[SOUND CUE 3: RETURN]

Weird, right? And I took--Charlotte and I did make a conspiracy board, eventually, with yarn colors that we stole from knitting club, because Natalie Simmons was gonna make us join, and she knows that I have Carpal Tunnel, so. Our only way to get free yarn was to steal, but. Regardless. I took those words, plus that weird interference that got into Benji’s recording, which, uh, sounded pretty similar, and I’m trying to parse meaning from it, even though Char says that Mae never said those things. Which, cool. Cool, cool, but--

Again, she was whispering. She ordered a caramel frap, and she got a refill on me. Because she really is nice, like--she and Char are cute together, I just--I also think that she may or may not be some kind of supernatural entity. I support her love, I maybe do not support her whole staticky-weird-words-with-no-context thing. Y’know? Like--there are better ways to be mysterious, even. And--look, playing the bad boy or girl or neither card is tough, I know this, but. Look, there are more routes than just leather jackets or being a ghoul, y’know? Like. Maybe get a motorcycle license. Oh, wait! Mae Babson already has a motorcycle license, so, like--you already have your bad girl status. C’mon! This isn’t Party City on October thirtieth, it’s a hippie school in February. C’mon.

So, uh, I can’t find meaning out of the words, other than, like, uh. We maybe weren’t supposed to see what we saw. But--if we saw it, and we weren’t supposed to, why wouldn’t anyone else? That’s--that’s the point of the board. See, uh, there aren’t many easily accessible histories of, like--weird shit in Violet Beach, specifically. And normal history books--we haven’t dived into them, which is to say that I have literally no interest in reading them, like--Benji’s probably read them. Or Teresa, who’s significantly cooler, which would be great, if she were here. Which she isn’t! Which is fine.

I’m fine. It’s super cool that one of the only reasonable people in this ragtag gang of misfits or whatever the fuck we are is suddenly gone. Super cool. Just the best, absolutely. Not to say y’all are bad, but. You’re not reasonable. Teresa’s got brains. You have the heart locked down, got the grit, and what have you, but she’s got the brains.

Also, I was gonna be able to get Benji off my case for one night because D and D night would distract him. It always does.

Also, hi Benji. I do not want to work for you. My current job pays more than minimum wage. The one you’re offering me doesn’t. And I kinda wanna car? So--uh. Yeah. Also, I don’t know anything about sci-fi. You know this. Everybody knows this.

Also, I kinda wanted to go to D and D night. See what that was about. Teresa’s good at that storytelling shit. Was good? I don’t wanna be too much of a pessimist, but, like.

C’mon, Angie, don’t look at me like that. I--I saw it happen, she just--poof. Like, she was there, and then--I showed you the video. You saw it, you have to think, however terrifying and shitty it might feel to think it, that she’s just--she’s just gone! You think I want it? You think?

[he sighs, tired. there’s a long beat, another sigh. he’s nervous, upset, but trying to remain steely.]

Shit.

She just ran out. I think she also has Improv tryouts, but she left--she left her bag.

Love it. Loving life and being alive and all that assorted fun stuff. She’s--she’s so sensitive. God. And, uh. I love that about her, she’s--she’s like an older sister to me, I’ve--she was the only person who would talk to me, my first day here, cuz I wasn’t talkin’ to anybody intentionally and she was the only person who cared enough to try. But--Whatever. Whatever. Angela Thompson is important to me, and. I don’t need to share my sob story. I’m not that guy. But she--

God, she’s not handling this well at all, and--nobody is, cuz--cuz Teresa’s cool, and she’s good, but--I think Ann thinks it’s her fault for not stopping Teresa. And also, like--there’s--

That’s not my story to tell, it’s theirs. They’d do it better anyway.Whatever. Their lives, not mine, stand in your truth, etcetera, thank you, self-help guide parents. Gotta get back on that mindfulness grind. Take those thoughts and accept them. Etcetera. Plug for How To Become Okay With Your Potential Insignificance by Dr. Phillip T. Diggs.

Also, these two disasters, here, Angie and Teresa? They threw away the chore wheel I made for them. Who does that? I spent two entire hours of hard labor on that. As a joke. I was committed to the bit, knowing their shared hatred of domesticity and construction paper. But they tossed it. How dare they. I’m their--

Friend? Brother? Child? Dad? Something corny like that.

I don’t--I’m not their dad. That’s--that doesn’t even make sense, with like--but is time travel real, maybe?--but. Yeah. Point standing. I’m not their dad. Obviously. That’s bad and not going on the conspiracy board But--still. Look.

Yeah, I’m worried. It’s just--y’all have said this, it doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t. I’m--

Ah, God. We--I need to go find Angie. Give her a hug, or--or whatever. She.

Needs it. And I owe her--

God, if--

I’m--I’m gonna turn off the mic, now. Uh. Everyone else has done a ‘bye,’ I think, so.

Bye. Keep your eyes out. Text me if you wanna be added to the conspiracy board doc. It’s very good, ten out of ten, would recommend. Five stars on Yelp. Can you give documents Yelp reviews? Doubt it. Anyway.

So.

Okay. I--I think that we got this. All of us. We got this.

Yeah.

Bye.

#transcript #violet beach #season 1 #aj #transcripts

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ookamitsu · 7 years ago

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50 more interesting questions

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

tagged by @acrispyapple this was very long

1. What kind of food can’t you stand? really spicy food, tho recently i’ve been getting better at handling spices. Also food that has cauliflower or cilantro

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick? I’d love it if my fish tanks could magically clean themselves and feed the fish, that’d be great

3. Have you got any useless talents? is not being affected by the caffeine in coffee a talent?

4. If you were really really good at one thing, what would it be? Probably drawing. I have soo many ideas but hardly any artistic talent lol.

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking gdragon and top from bigbang

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid? I wasn’t allowed to go outside really when I was younger so all I did was read books, watch tv, rewatch disney movies and harry potter movies over and over.

7. What is something you’re proud of? eh, I don’t think i’ve done anything worth being proud about yet...ask me again when I have a career

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate? I hate when people don’t have proper manners, it’s so annoying.

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower? oh a follower for sure. I am but a humble, shy sheep~ leading requires effort lol and it just isn’t interesting for me. Although, if i’m forced into a leadership position I’ll do well, it’s just that I do want to do it.

10. What kind of student are/were you? a pretty good kiddo. Never gto into trouble, and besides my ap physics grade back in junior year I never had low grades. Had to stay in tip top shape academically in order to get anything I wanted and not be disowned by my mom lol.

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life? eh I don’t really think so but maybe

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion SPIDERS, they’re the devil’s animal haha. so that and most most insects ughhh

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable? hmmm...maybe the mc from kiss him, not me? She’s into weeb shit, I’m into weeb shit. She likes yaoi, I like yaoi lol but she is way more into it than I will ever be. Also she’s surrounded by hot guys, which I am not and that is the ultimate tragedy.

kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties? I’m still underage so i dunno. Ask me again in January when my bff turns 21, I’ll let you know. At parties I’m super awkward so I’ll either just stand around looking really awkward or follow my friends around.

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone? it’ll take a loooong while. I don’t trust guys (or most people). you can’t unlock my tragic backstory that easily if you date me.

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends? one. I love having close bonds with people because then I won’t feel lonely. Also who needs that many friends.

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak? I like to have things clean for the most part. Though I might get really lazy and just throw things down and not put them away for a few hours lol. Also my desk can get pretty messy sometimes and becomes a sort of organized chaos, but I’ll always fix it anyway since the mess will eventually bother me.

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy. Somewhere where the weather isn’t terribly hot or cold in their respective seasons and is overcast most of the time. Or Loches, France. I freaking love that place it’s really nice.

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday? I’d love to have kids, at least 3.

20. What was your favorite book as a child? I used to read the goosebumps and fear street series a lot. Also harry potter, a series of unfortunate events and the chronicles of narnia (Though fo some reason I couldn’t remember the books in that series at all but luckily @acrispyapple told me to reread it and now I have renewed love for it)

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about yeah fidget spinners are pretty dumb and I see them wherever I go.

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated learning how to type properly? I think a lot of people barely know how to type and it upsets me to no end. I hate when people finger peck at the keys, they’re so slow.

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose? hmm, maybe natsume takashi from natsume yuujinchou. Mostly becuase I really like him. Also being attached to him means I can cuddle nyanko-senesei. Or Nikkari Aoe from touken ranbu because I love him too.

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday? travel all over!

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat? I don’t like confrontation so I keep my mouth shut usually.

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in? hmm, not sure

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for? *war flashbacks of being emo*

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable? I admire people who can speak their minds without fear, of course they also have to have tact. Also the kind of people who are so good at leading that you’ll naturally want to follow them.

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.) people like to give me things with cats bc cat’s are God’s greatest gift to humanity. I appreciate money just a little more though lol.

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones? Yup. English, French, and Japanese. I really want to learn Korean, German and Spanish but I usually spend half of my free time on continuing japanese studies so we’ll see.

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside? Neither. I like the suburbs. Either that or smaller cities at least.

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving? sarada uchiha. When I first saw her at the end of naruto i kinda automaically hated her because I hate sakura. But ever since gaiden and the boruto movie I saw her personality and realized that I lover her haha. So whenever I see her in a boruto ep I’m pretty happy.

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else? nope, I get so uncomfortable. I’m happy enough to not be noticed.

34. Favorite holiday? Christmas! I’m so obnoxious about it haha. I love singing Christmas songs and I’ll gladly sing along to the Christmas music that plays in stores and stuff.

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously? a bit of both. For the most part I’m go with the flow but for most important things that happens outside of home life having some kind of plan is logical and for the best .

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) the dragon age series and mass effect series.

37. What hobbies do you have? reading, running this crap blog, doodling, studying, video games

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have? the ability to make things clean themselves.

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you I’m super lazy! I give off the impression that i would never ever be lazy which is just a lie lmao. That doesn’t mean I won’t do the work that I have to do. One can’t be remiss about those things you know, you’ll set yourself up for failure that way. I just hate wasting energy

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out I can’t work @cyniccat‘s sewing machine properly for the life of me.

41. Worst injury you’ve had? I accidentally ripped the skin off of one of my toes with a door.

42. Any morbid fascinations? idk

43. Describe your sense of humor eh idk, I like sarcasm since I have such rapier wit. I also love really lame jokes lol. but I usually find most things

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? well I wouldn’t want to live in another era because they weren’t such fun times for poc’s. But If I could live in another place, I’d rather live in either Canada or France. Maybe Japan.

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at I can’t summarize that well without rambling.

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through school. Even though it made my cry and my workload stressed me out I met my best friends there and more importantly I got an education.

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.) I don’t want a tattoo ever, so the ugly one but like what’s so offensive about it??

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? for a pessimist i’m pretty optimistic

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you? “you fight good”. uh i’m not sure. I don’t take compliments well so even if it was the most flattering thing I probably wouldn’t believe whoever said it and just awkwardly laugh and say thanks.

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you hmm people who don’t know me think I like talking irl. I’m more of a listener.

i’m only tagging two people bc I like to see them suffer with me but this is open to anyone who wants to do it

@krazy19kat @dicksoutforzarkon

#ookamitsu's rambles

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ragsandmuffins · 8 years ago

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Musical Theatre Themed Ask

Okay, I’m gonna answer... all of these! (Because I have a paper to write and zero motivation. And also: musicals.)

Oh, and by the way, I’m going to assume that every “Broadway” is a “Broadway/West End” because Tumblr is a free platform.

1. What was the first musical you saw?

Mary Poppins, West End, 2006 (not 100% sure about the year)

2. What musical got you really into theatre?

Les Misérables - saw the film, started stalking the actors, you know how it goes.

3. Who was your first Broadway crush?

Aaron Tveit (he’s the main one) and Samantha Barks - like I said, stalking the Les Mis actors...

4. Name three of your current Broadway crushes.

Um... still Aaron Tveit? Plus Rob Houchen (Les Mis London) and Cleve September (In the Heights London and soon Hamilton London) - Also, I get “talent crushes” not physical attraction crushes.

5. Name four of your dream roles.

Only 4? Natalie Goodman, Enjolras, Maureen Johnson, and HERCULES MULLIGAN!!

(I can’t sing, act, or dance, nor am I a man, so...)

6. Favourite off-broadway show:

Heathers and The Last Five Years

7. Favourite cast recording.

Gotta be Hamilton, it’s just such a well-produced album. Bonus points for including nearly the entire show.

8. 2013 Tony opening number or 2016 Tony opening number?

2012? The Book of Mormon thing is just pure gold!

9. Favourite show currently on Broadway.

Broadway: I guess Hamilton - There are way too few that I actually know.

West End: Les Misérables forever!

10. A musical that closed and you’re still bitter about. Rant a bit.

In the Heights London! Though I can’t really complain, they extended their initially run several times and now they’ve cast my amazing Sonny as Laurens/Philip, so... But it was just so good!!

11. Best stage to screen adaptation?

Les Misérables. Controversial, I know, but I usually kind of hate movie musicals. With this one they did something new and different and I think it works. The Last Five Years is pretty good too, though it lost a lot in the adaptation (couldn’t be avoided).

12. Worst stage to screen adaptation?

Rent. I’m sorry, I love the show, I love the cast, but it all feels so staged and wrong and meh. Also, they cut Goodbye Love and left in fucking Santa Fé which adds exactly nothing to the plot!!

13. Favourite #ham4ham?

Gotta be the Schuyler Georges, but there have been so many great ones...

14. A musical you would love to see produced by Deaf West?

Oh, tricky... Maybe Next to Normal? That has a lot to do with people holding things in and failing to see each others’ struggles.

15. If you could revive any musical, which one would it be and who would you cast in it?

Not exactly a revival, but bring Next to Normal to the West End already! That show’s got a sodding Pulitzer. And London’s only a 2 hour flight away from where I live, not a transatlantic one, so I might actually be able to go see it.

Oh, and give Spring Awakening another chance, West End. Maybe adapt some American Sign Language into British Sign Language and...?

Also, maybe revive Rent, Broadway? (And cast Aaron Tveit as Roger... please?)

16. If you could go to a concert at the 54 below, who’s would it be?

That list would be waaaaaayyy too long...

17. Do you watch broadway.com vlogs? Which one is your favourite?

I’ve seen a few, but I don’t really watch them on a regular basis, so no favourites...

18. Make a Broadway related confession.

I really, really hate South Pacific. It was part of our American drama syllabus, as an example of a musical. Quite apart from the fact that I think it’s a godawful, sort of racist and sexist show (it’s from the 40s, go figure), it displays LITERALLY EVERY cliché about musicals!

19. What do musicals mean to you?

Hard to say... Apart from hours and hours of ALL the emotions, some awesome internet buddies (looking at you, @frei-und-schwerelos), I’ve got generally more interested in and knowledgable about theatre, which is a great asset when you study English. Musicals have also introduced me to a wide range of music I wouldn’t normally listen to and so many talented people I wouldn’t have known about otherwise...

20. Express some love for understudies and swings!

Okay here goes: I went to see the West End production of Memphis because of Killian Donnelly and then he unexpectedly wasn’t on that night - bummer. But then Jon Robyns just knocked it out of the part (and I only ever listened to Avenue Q and Spamalot because I watched clips of him when he was in those shows).

My first Thénardier was Adam Pearce and his version of “It was me wot told you so...” is the funniest one I’ve ever heard (he kind of went “No? Sorry, fair enough.”).

The second time I saw the show Adam Bayjou was Valjean and his Bring Him Home was one of the best I’ve ever heard (effortless high notes).

Also, Charlotte Kennedy was Cosette that time (she’s principal Cosette now) and her performance was so incredibly sweet! (She also brought some brunette power into the sea of blond that were Marius and Éponine.)

And Jordan Lee Davies was Bamatabois both times and he was great!

Oh, and my Christine from Phantom was the wonderful Lisa-Anne Wood.

21. Best Disney musical:

Mary Poppins - My first ever musical, fond memories, I still wear the Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious shirt my dad bought me (11 years ago... didn’t fit then, fits now).

22. Which Disney movie should be made into a musical?

Uh, I don’t know. Tangled’s funny...

23. Which musical fandom has the funniest memes?

Hamilton and Les Mis. I mean, the Les Mis/Mean Girls crossovers alone...

24. Name a character from a musical you would sort into your Hogwarts house.

Well, the test sorted me into Hufflepuff (great house), but I know that I am a Ravenclaw (and, as we know, the hat listens to you). Okay, Ravenclaw... maybe Melchior from Spring Awakening?

25. Name a Broadway star you would sort into your Hogwarts house.

Ugh, that’s even harder! Sorry, no clue.

26. Best on stage chemistry?

Hmm from what I’ve seen live, Rob Houchen and Carrie Hope Fletcher were pretty darn amazing together.

From what I haven’t seen live, Jennifer Damiano and Adam Chanler-Berat, and Justin Johnston and Michael McElroy seemed fantastic.

27. A Broadway duo you love.

I’m gonna say Jonathan Groff and Lin-Manuel Miranda, but I’m not sure I understand the question...

28. What book, tv show, movie, biography, video game, etc. should be turned into a musical?

Umm... I don’t know. Supernatural sort of is a musical... A Lord of the Rings musical in the style of A Very Potter Musical might be fun. The Fellowship of the Sing? I’ll show myself out.

29. If you could make a jukebox musical, what artist or genre would you pick?

I doubt many people know her but: Vienna Teng. For three reasons (aside from me liking her songs): 1. Her songs tell stories. 2. She often writes from the perspective of “characters.” 3. Her songs are actual poetry!

30. Favourite role played by _________________?

I don’t get it. What am I supposed to put here?

31. What musical has made you cry the most?

I don’t actually cry often at musicals (internally I do), but It’s Quiet Uptown from Hamilton got me bad the first time. And I once listened to Next to Normal when I was already feeling like shit - bad idea! (Don’t listen to There’s a World when you kind of want there to not be a world, kids...)

32. What musical has made you laugh the most?

Probably Avenue Q and Something Rotten

33. Current showtune stuck in you head:

Well, you just put Hard to Be the Bard in my head!

34. A musical that has left you thinking about life for a long time or deeply inspired you.

Les Misérables... I haven’t spent a single week without thinking about that show (or, indeed, the book) since early 2013.

Next to Normal also gave me a lot to think about.

I keep discovering new little bits of genius in Hamilton lyrics. Also, I’m writing a paper on the early US for the second time in under a year and characters from Hamilton (otherwise know as historical figures) keep popping up. Seriously, I’m writing about the Whiskey Rebellion and every time I read Hamilton’s name my brain goes PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES!

I’ve also thought quite a bit about Heathers and The Last Five Years, because both of them have had productions where they genderbended (genderbent?) a main character, which made me think about how it changes the story and why.

35. If you could perform any ensemble number , which one would you pick?

“If you could...” Are you implying that I don’t?! Come on, any theatre geek who claims never to have done a solo rendition of One Day More is definitely lying! Oh, and I rapped myself all the way through One Shot the other day and made only one mistake - one that Lin’s made before, so I’m proud!

36. Name a musical you didn’t like at first but ended up loving.

I don’t think that’s really happened... There have been shows where I thought “What in the holy hell is this?!” and ended up loving it. I mean, what in the holy hell is Avenue Q?!

37. What are some costumes you’d love to try on?

Give me that red vest! Also, let me play Enjolras! Yes, I know I’m a woman and can only hit that low “foooorm” when I’ve got a really bad cold, but fuck all that!

I’d also really like to try on Elphaba’s Act II dress, because it’s epic!

38. Favourite dance break.

Hmmm... I don’t really have one? The one in Cool and the ballet in Somewhere where they sort of replay what’s happened are pretty amazing (both West Side Story).

39. Favourite Starkid musical:

A Very Potter Musical is the only one I know... Sorry...

40. What’s a musical more people should know about?

Well, where I live, most people have heard of Cats, Phantom, and Mamma Mia and that’s about it.

But in general, I’ve never met anyone who’s even heard of Assassins (although many people who have met me have now heard everything about Assassins - I’m that kind of person).

41. What are some lines from musicals you really like?

Okay, this is gonna take a while...

"Can you remind me of what it was like at the top of the world?” (In the Heights)

“Oh, my friends, my friends, don’t ask me what your sacrifice was for.” (Les Misérables - internal Niagara Falls!)

“Here, put some hail into the chief.” (Assassins)

“But the sky’s gonna hurt when it falls. So you’d better start building some walls.” (Heathers)

“I’m not mad that you got mad when I got mad when you said I should go drop dead!” (Tick, Tick... Boom!)

“My God, in God we trust, but we never really know what God discussed.” (Hamilton)

“What doesn’t kill me doesn’t kill me.” (Next to Normal)

And just for fun: “Honest living, honest living, honest living, honest living,...” (Rent)

42. Name a Tony performance you rewatch and rewatch.

In the Heights, Next to Normal, Hamilton, and Spring Awakening (both versions).

#well that was fun #i'm procrastinating #theatre geek #musicals #just musical things #musical theatre

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cassiopeiassky · 8 years ago

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When Everything’s Made to be Broken (I Just Want You to Know Who I Am) Part 41

Hello everyone! I’m briefly surfacing from the pits of academic hell once more to bring you this!! *three more weeks of school...three more weeks of school...three more weeks of school*

To all of you that left feedback/comments on the last part - I apologize for not responding, but things are really chaotic right now. Just know that I do read each and every one of your comments *cough cough* multiple times *cough cough* and I appreciate them (and you) more than I can say.

Plot: When you inadvertently become a witness to a murder and are suddenly a target for death, it takes a specially skilled soldier and his team to keep you and your family safe.

This will eventually be a is a reader x Bucky fic. The reader, by the way, is a civilian. No super powers, no fighting skills, and by no means perfect.

Word count: 2952

Warnings:

For the entire work: Language (I have a potty mouth), violence, and angst. This will probably get pretty dark later on, and there will be smut. If that’s not your thing, you may want to avoid this story.

Additional warnings specific to this part: Violence, physical assault, death, mentions of blood, mentions of murder/death (including non-established characters), If I need to add anything else, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. If you don’t want me to publish the ask, I won’t, or you can feel free to do it as a Nonnie. I will not take offense to any trigger warning requests. Your well-being is important to me and I do NOT want to trigger anyone.

***I do not own any of the lyrics/music in this story, so please don’t sue me for using them***

Tags moved to the end.

WEMtbB Masterlist

Previously on WEMtbB:

You're just going to lie here for a minute or five, not long. Just long enough to pretend, long enough to maybe fool your mind into sleeping when you get back to your room. Just long enough for your heart to stop its ever-present ache, even if just for a minute.

A gentle sigh escapes as your body reacts to Bucky's proximity, and you feel yourself relax into the mattress.

You'll just close your eyes and lie here for a minute.

...only

...a

...minute...

Rough hands grab your shoulders, hauling you violently from your warm, safe cocoon. You were in such a deep sleep that it’s difficult for you to comprehend what’s going on, or even where you are, and the shouting in your ears does nothing to lessen your confusion. Finally able to force your eyes open in the blindingly bright lights, you see Bucky.

Wait.

No.

You see the Soldier.

The arm around your neck that’s holding you upright tightens slightly, and for the briefest of moments you think you see a flash of something – was it rage? was it Bucky?? – in the cloudy eyes of the man still half lying in the bed, but whatever it was is gone a heartbeat later and his face resumes a neutral expression as he comes fully awake.

“GET UP!” You flinch harshly when Anatoliy bellows, still trying to figure out what the actual fuck is going on. He reaches over to grab a fistful of the Soldier’s hair and yanks him bodily out of the bed, causing him to crash to his knees on the floor before delivering a powerful backhanded hit to the side of his face.

“Just kill him, Kapitan, his skillset is not worth the lives of our men.” The words are spoken by the man holding you, and you realize with disgust that it’s Grigory. Your skin starts crawling immediately, and you want to vomit as he puts his nose into the crook of your neck and inhales. “I think you will be mine tonight, lisichka,” he murmurs in your ear, and you try to pry his forearm from your throat but find that you can’t even budge him; you’re firmly stuck against his chest because of his vicelike grip unless you want to break your own neck. The fucker’s strong.

Anatoliy delivers a kick to the Soldier’s stomach, and although he folds over for a moment as he gasps for air, he doesn’t speak or move to defend himself.

“No! What are you doing? Leave him alone!” It’s hard to get the words out from behind the headlock you’re in, but you manage. Barely.

Anatoliy pauses to look at you in mild amusement, as if your outburst was cute, before turning back to the Soldier and cocking a gun at his temple.

No. No. No no no no no….

You can’t lose him before you get him back…you can’t…

“That would be a bit merciful, yes?” Someone enters the room and walks leisurely to the bed, completely unaffected and utterly at odds with the tension in the room. Nicolai. For some reason, his serene calm is more frightening to you than Anatoliy’s explosive anger. “He still has some suffering to endure, I think.” He pauses for a moment, regarding the scene before him with a detached and analytical air. “Hold out your right arm, Soldat.” The quietly spoken command raises the hair on the back of your neck.

He lifts his arm without question or expression. Nicolai reaches the kneeling man, grabs hold of his elbow and forearm, and twists.

You stare in disbelief as he dislocates the Soldier’s shoulder.

A harsh grunt of pain is the only reaction, and Nicolai looks supremely satisfied until the sound of running footsteps in the hall draws his attention.

“Mr. Krakken, Kapitan!” The breathless crony pauses in the doorway to catch his breath. “I reviewed the camera feed as you asked,” he gasps in a thick accent that you can’t identify, “It was not him.”

The shocked expressions on Nicolai and Anatoliy’s faces would be comical if the situation didn’t have Bucky’s life hanging in the balance.

“What?” Anatoliy barks sharply, “What do you mean?”

“It was not him, Kapitan. He arrived at 9:37 PM and then did not leave his room. She entered at 12:08 AM, and that is the only movement to or from his quarters.”

Wasn’t him? Wasn’t him what? What the hell is going on?

Anatoliy regards his minion for a moment before speaking again. “So then who did it?”

The man has finally caught his breath sufficiently to speak without breaking for air, “The footage shows nothing. Whomever killed our men had to have broken in from outside, because the hallway cameras show no activity outside their bedrooms, but the video feed of the property does not show anything either. We do not have cameras in the personal quarters of that wing, so we cannot see what happened in the rooms…we only know that it was not the Asset, because he was in here with her the entire time. It is…it is as if a ghost was here.”

Nicolai narrows his eyes at you as if just noticing your presence before he turns to the man still standing in the doorway. “Return to the security team and review the footage again to find what you can learn about the assassination of our men. Report to me immediately when you have information.”

What? Assassination of his men? Maybe that means…

Anatoliy turns toward his brother. “Is it possible that another Bratva family knows of our acquisition? Is this perhaps retaliation for the executions yesterday?”

Nicolai shares a look with his brother, but does not answer. Instead, he turns to you. “So, milaya moya, you decided to come to him instead of waiting for him to come to you? I had no idea you were so eager.”

You say nothing, not bothering to try to explain to these asshats what’s in your head, or your heart. It’s none of their goddamn business.

“Grigory, let her go; it is not as if she is a physical threat to any of us. Bring her back to her room, and then go wake the Doctor. Tell him he is needed immediately in the Asset’s quarters to reset his shoulder.” Nicolai regards you for a moment longer before walking out of the room, followed by his brother and the rest of the men you hadn’t even been aware were there.

You know you don’t have the option to stay, so you allow yourself to be brought to your neighboring room. Thank God Grigory has a task, because he leaves as soon as he shoves you through the door.

Glancing out the window as you take a seat at the table, you see the sun just beginning to rise above the horizon. So…early morning then. Now that you’re fully awake, your mind feels sharper – you certainly hadn’t meant to fall asleep beside him, but you did and you actually slept last night.

Shaking your head at your stupidity – because face it, despite what your heart may tell you, falling asleep next to the Soldier is NOT the smartest thing you could do – you try to focus and figure out what’s going on.

Okay. So some of Krakken’s men are dead. Good riddance…but how? They clearly thought it was Bucky…the Soldier…but that’s not possible and there’s video footage to prove it. Could it have been the team? Clint’s a crack shot…but he’s best with a bow and no one mentioned arrows. Nat, maybe?

Are they here? Do they have a plan? They’ve had long enough, right? How long have you been here? You were sick and unconscious when you arrived so the first week was a blur, and you aren’t exactly sure what the date is today, but if you’re piecing things together correctly you’ve been here for around…13 days…they’ve planned more in less time, right?

You feel a rush of homesickness as you realize you’ve missed your dad’s birthday.

Your shoulders drop a bit as you reach up to run your fingers over the collar. It’s a bit looser now than when it was first secured around your neck, courtesy of Metzger’s concoction and your poor appetite, so it rests slightly lower but no less secure. The newfound hope deflates a bit; it doesn’t matter if they’re here if they don’t know how to deal with this. And do they know about Bucky?

Are they even here? It was just three nights ago on the video chat that you could see they were still in New York. Your shoulders drop a bit more. Maybe Anatoliy was right and it’s retaliation.

The light tap at the door causes you to lose your train of thought, and when you see that it’s Mikhail you jump up to help him. He’s juggling your breakfast but still practically sprints to the window to close the godawful drapes after shoving the tray onto the vanity.

“Mikhail…what-“

“I have to go into Krasnoyarsk today to run some errands for Doctor Metzger,” he says somewhat thickly around his swollen face and split lip. “It is a 140 kilometer drive, so I will be gone for the rest of the morning and part of the early afternoon.”

You’re momentarily distracted from his odd behavior by his comment. “They’re making you run errands? As busted up as you are?” Assholes. But did you really expect any less from those pricks?

Your eyes quickly pass over him to take stock of his injuries. You were right – a broken arm and two black eyes. The way he holds himself suggests damage to his ribs, and you wonder if they’re bruised or broken…not that it really makes a difference.

“It is my greatest privilege and pleasure to serve the Krakken brothers.” He sounds sincere enough, but you catch the defiant glint in his eyes that you know the cameras won’t be able to record. You have to fight back a smile; they tried, but the fuckers still didn’t break him.

He takes a deep breath, and the look on his face lets you know something’s up.

“Solnishko, do you know anything about what happened last night?” He looks like he feels bad asking the question, but you’ve no doubt that he has no choice in the matter. Of course they’d send him in here to question you.

“No, I don’t. I was with Bucky…um…the Soldier.”

His eyes shoot to you in surprise. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Did –“

“Mikhail, I’m fine. Nothing happened, I just heard him having a nightmare, so I went to calm him. He never woke up; I don’t think he even knew I was there until Anatoliy came in.” You shrug before you continue, weighing how much to say out loud when you catch Mikhail’s quizzical look. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep, it was a complete accident. I just…I…” It’s hard to say, because you don’t want to admit it to yourself - mostly because saying the words feels an awful lot like admitting that Bucky’s really gone - but you finally do, “If he’s asleep, he’s my Bucky. Or at least I can pretend.” Your cheeks grow red, and you don’t know why. “I miss him, Mikhail.”

You didn’t know that tears were gathering in your eyes until one rolls down your cheek.

He sighs sadly. “I am sorry, solnishko.”

You can only nod in response; your admission put you on the edge of breaking, and opening your mouth to reply might cause a chain reaction that you won’t be able to stop.

Mikhail gently passes his good hand over his swollen eyes. “So you did not hear anything? Last night? Did you see anyone in the hallway as you went to the…as you went to him?”

You smile softly at Mikhail’s correction – you appreciate his effort to refer to Bucky as a person rather than a belonging…rather than an Asset.

“No, I didn’t see or hear anyone. What happened?”

He takes a moment to respond – you don’t blame him. He’s probably being monitored quite closely and doesn’t want to risk another beating.

“Twelve men were found dead in their quarters this morning. There were no signs of entry – in four of the rooms the only evidence of anything amiss is a dead man and a bullet hole through the wall. No glass was broken, so no alarms went off. In the other eight rooms, there is only a dead man and a lot of blood from having his throat slit.”

Holy shit. That’s fucking terrifying.

“Solnishko,” he begins quietly, “please be cautious. Please keep the curtains drawn and stay away from the windows. It is more dangerous for you now than before; I know it is hard to believe but it is true. Not only is there an unknown threat, but also Kapitan’s men are on edge, so it is best if you say out of their sight.”

You nod your understanding, wide-eyed at the information you've just been given.

“I leave in ten minutes- is there anything you need before I go?”

Wordlessly, you shake your head.

Mikhail nods once in acknowledgment and leaves, closing the door behind him.

***

Over the course of the next few hours you hear a lot of footsteps outside your door and voices beneath your window. Despite Mikhail’s warning, curiosity gets the better of you and you open the drapes to watch the commotion outside. There are a lot of men - many more than you'd seen so far - and they're traipsing through the snow, walking in and out of the bordering trees; you figure they're looking for any signs of last night’s assassin. They’re all huge and armed to the teeth. Yeah, you won’t be leaving this room any time soon. You watch for a while, hoping to catch a glimpse of the Soldier, but no dice.

What did they do to him after you were brought back here? Did they set his shoulder? Or hurt him more?? You have no idea, and haven’t heard a thing from the other side of the wall. You take a deep breath to calm your anxious thoughts – it won’t do you any good to get all wound up again – and refocus your attention outside.

It must be really cold out, because they're all bundled up, and you can clearly see their breath when they speak. You can’t help but hope that at least one of those fucknuts gets frostbite.

***

Silence. The bustle and commotion of the morning is gone, and it’s completely silent.

It’s eerie if you think on it too long.

You left the drapes open. Fuck it. The patch of sunlight you’re currently lying in is worth it. If you close your eyes and pretend, it’s almost as if everything is normal.

You can pretend that Bucky is downstairs with the boys, and their squealing laughter would tell you that he’s giving them piggy back rides again. You can pretend that you’ve got cupcakes in the oven, and that Bucky is down in the gym area, working out while the boys nap. Or…you can pretend that he’s in the shower, just moments away from stepping out and allowing the steam to carry the scent of his body wash and shampoo to you as you wait for him join you on the bed.

Pretending is still lonely, though.

Soft footsteps in the hall make their way into your consciousness, and you recognize them as Mikhail’s. You sit up just as there’s a knock at the door, and he comes in carrying a stack of fresh towels.

“Solnisko, you are required to attend dinner tonight.” His tired, swollen eyes convey his apologies, and he looks…nervous?

“Okay,” you quietly acquiesce. Something’s off with him, and you don’t want to distress him any more than he already is. Besides, it’s not like he doesn’t already know that you don’t want to eat with those assholes.

Mikhail disappears into the bathroom and returns a few moments later with the used towels. “I’ll be back to help you get ready in about an hour – please shower now so you are ready when I arrive.” He’s staring at you intently, and it’s making you really uncomfortable. Does he expect you to fight him on this?

“Mikhail, I already showered –“

“Shower again.” The abrupt command takes you by surprise. “I…uh…it will be easier to do your hair if it’s freshly washed. And it may help you relax. It would be best for you to destroy the evidence of your stress.” He fixes you with a hard look, turns on his heel, and leaves.

Well, that was fucking weird. Maybe he’s reacting strangely to some pain meds?

There’s no reason to make his life more difficult, though, so even though your hair is still thoroughly damp from its earlier washing, you move to do as he requests. It’s not like you have anything better to do.

Closing the frosted glass door behind you, you hang a robe over the top and begin to undress in the only private area you have. Your attention is caught by the folded towel on the tile floor; that’s…strange. You know you didn’t leave that there.

Something flutters to the ground when you pick up the towel.

What the hell…

You lower yourself slowly to retrieve it, heart pounding in your ears.

It’s a cheap single-ply napkin, with letters scrawled in black ink.

You read and reread the cryptic poem, committing it to memory before turning on the water. Suddenly Mikhail’s last comment makes a lot more sense…yes…you’ll destroy the evidence.

With your heart pounding violently in your ears, you hold the napkin under the spray, rubbing it together firmly after it is fully saturated. It starts breaking apart almost immediately, and you carefully make sure it’s nothing but a thin pulp before allowing it to fall from your hands and flow down the drain.

”I went into town today and what did I hear

But a story about a billionaire and Paul Revere

The spiders and red coats are coming for you

Hold on for dear life, they’ll get your love, too”

Round 1 Tags: @rogersxbarnesx @hellomissmabel @beccaanne814-blog @musichowler @nykitass @danimuhle @iwillbeinmynest @shifutheshihtzu @iamtal @passiononfire @jade-cheshire @flowercrownsandmetallicarms @lostinspace33 @gingerrootknits @callmebucky-doll @learisa @sammedrano @hardcorehippos @vaisabu @widowvinter @amrita31199 @bellenuit45 @agentraven007 @ sarahjeaniejean @canumoveyourseatup-no @unpredictable-firecracker @ omalleysgirl22 @crazyliraz @shamvictoria11 @kaaatniss @lillian-paige @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @sexyseabass1231 @knittingknerdy @4theluvofall @howdoesoneadult

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky imagine #my work #when everythings made to be broken (i just want you to know who i am)#WEMtbB #Part 41

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thebluesideofthemoon · 8 years ago

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The Wall #48: ZOOTOPIA

Well, it's about time I got around to this. Welcome to The Wall, and I'm not going to waste any time because I'm going to have a lot to say. I feel like I don't need to say this, but just in case you haven't seen the movie (not just this one, I mean in general) I'll try to be as spoiler-free as I can. Yeah, I said "try", because sometimes I'll see something as awful as Collateral Beauty or Yoga Hosers where I have to spoil the movie just to get my point firmly across in why those movies are as bad as they are. And yeah, that's a general rule of thumb: if I consider the movie awful I WILL spoil it (So yes, take that as your premature warning that I WILL spoil Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice in the next review. ;D). Seeing as this is the movie that revitalized the series and allowed it to take off in a way far bigger than I could even imagine, I have to pay its respects and give it the proper review it should have had in the past. So, let's dive right into the literal urban jungle that is the colorful world of Zootopia!

I’m not even going to waste time by dabbling in my usual routine of building up my points in a movie of what I liked and what I didn’t because I’m going to say something I haven’t said about a movie this year since Hell or High Water- I absolutely adore this movie. Believe it or not, I wavered a lot in how I felt about this movie throughout the course of the year, but my answer is finally clear. But first, the usual- plot.

In this movie, a young anthropomorphic bunny by the name of Judy Hopps (voiced by Ginnifer Goodwin, whom I last saw in that godawful “romantic comedy”, Something Borrowed back in 2011) dreams of becoming a cop in the big city of Zootopia to make the world a better place. This doesn’t turn out to be that simple as for a bunny trying to even train to become a cop proves to be incredibly difficult, though determined to not give up she pushes on and eventually manages to graduate from her training and be moved into the central district of the Zootopia Police Department, though instead of being assigned into a highly pursued case of tracking down twelve missing mammals, she gets assigned to parking duty. One messy turn of events later allows Judy to be part of the missing mammal case, though on the condition that she only has 48 hours to solve it or she will be fired from her job. She’s stuck with virtually no resources, though manages to find one clue that takes her to one key witness that may hold the answer for the case, in the form of a red fox by the name of Nick Wilde (voiced by Jason Bateman, whom I last saw in 2015’s The Gift, which was actually a pretty good movie… and then the ending happened) who turns out to be pretty uncooperative. The clock is ticking, and the evidence is minimal, so can these two unlikely partners come together for the better of their society?

Continuing with my usual formula this is where I would start listing down the negatives about a movie, and this was the part that I found the most tricky was how to feel about these because I have two: Gazelle, and the ending- specifically the climax.

Let’s start with Gazelle, who is voiced by mega-famous Colombian pop star, Shakira- heeeeey, finally a movie that has someone representing my home country of Colombia that also DOESN’T suck- isn’t that right, Hot Pursuit? Anyway, she suffers from something another animated movie I reviewed (and the first movie I ever reviewed on The Wall, as a matter of fact) which I will now call “DreamWorks Syndrome”. When your movie has DreamWorks Syndrome it will feature a big name voice actor or actress playing a pretty tiny role in spite of their exposure and fame to the general public. Granted, at least Shakira gets to talk in this movie whereas in Angry Birds, Sean Penn could have been replaced by a garbage disposal and the difference would have been none in the slightest. Shakira also isn’t a bad voice actress, then again I’ve been of the belief that pop stars and voice acting is something that goes hand in hand. She’s also at least not out of place in her role, unlike Miss Almost-30-Year-Old Rhianna voicing a 12-year-old girl in Home. I can’t be the only one who thought that she was going to have a bigger role in the movie based on how prominent she was shown in the advertisements. Hell, I was under the belief that the final showdown of the movie was going to take place in one of her concerts, and I was actually right! Well… sort off. As it turns out, that’s what happened in the scrapped version of the movie, not the final one. If you haven’t seen the movie (for whatever reason), that’s not how the movie ends. I’ll get into that (as spoiler-free as possible, of course) in a bit, but I’ll finish with Gazelle and Shakira. Gazelle’s role is pretty minimal and she doesn’t really add much to the movie. She’s not in the movie enough for me to say she’s one of the stand-out characters when the best use of her character involves a running gag about two other characters in the movie fooling around with this app that allows them to digitally insert themselves (or rather, their faces) into a music video featuring her. It’s actually a really funny gag, but that’s the best thing involving her character. The other reason why she’s here is for the movie’s title (and only) song, “Try Everything”. The song is… okay-ish, it’s really put together in a way that it’s pretty much just your typical generic uplifting pop song, though at least with Shakira singing you get her pretty distinct vocals to make the song at least nice to listen to. I’ll admit I was never a big fan of Shakira (my mom and sister LOOOOOVE her, though) so this song is just a “take it or leave it” type of deals- you hear it at two points in the movie, once at a montage, and at the credits for the obligatory “everybody dances” ending.

Speaking of which, when I originally talked about Zootopia I said I noted some pacing issues with the last act of the movie, and knowing what I know about the history of this movie that turned out to be very unsurprising. This movie was basically remade from the ground up at the last minute due to the original concept of the movie being too dark for its own good- and before anyone raises any complaints about “well they should have gone with that darker version”- no they shouldn’t have, though I’ll address that later, as I want to get through the rushed ending over first. So yes, the movie had to be completely remade and that may be what ended up causing the ending of the movie to feel a little fast. To be fair, all of the elements for the climax are there, they’re just blink-and-you-miss them. They didn’t need any more extra time being established- I think even just one extra minute could have made all of the difference. It’s at least more sensible than how Big Hero 6 ended up in a giant pile of explosions and nonsense, but yes I’m aware of the issues here and they sadly have not gone away. So how much does these two things affect how I feel about the movie? I thought about this long and hard, and if I’m going to be completely and totally honest… they don’t. My flag is up- despite this movie’s problems it has a metric ton of AMAZING things going in its favor that its negatives are pretty negligible by comparison.

First of all, I have to give absolutely major kudos to the amazing animation and design of the movie. There’s something particularly special about the way this movie looks to how everything in this world is constructed. The character designs are absolutely great, the city looks amazing- all of the districts are distinctively designed, full of life, and it gives me this absolutely giddy feeling of “holy crap, I want to go there!” I rarely ever get that feeling out of many movies, and that’s one telling sign when I knew this was something special. I could make an entire college essay at how amazing the level of detail in the environement in this movie is, but I really AM trying to keep this short as I can, so let’s just put it this way: A+ for not only the design, but also the REALLY great animation! This movie is fast-paced, colorful, full of great action moments, the expressions are absolutely joyous to look at.

The characters are simply wonderful! The crazy thing is that they’re all types, but the level of development they get, how layered and fleshed out they are really is something to admire. Nick and Judy are a pair that form the typical “cynical guy/optimistic girl” pairing, however a combination of great dialogue, perfect chemistry, as well as a really great level of depth allows them to not only be great foils to each other, but also makes them highly relatable and really easy to sympathize with the both of them. Not just them, this applies to other characters such as Bogo (voiced by Idirs Elba), Clawhauser- who also manages to score one of the saddest scenes in the movie- the other secondary characters are also unbelievably enjoyable, like Nick’s best friend Finnick (voiced by Tommy Lister), or Duke Weaselton (voiced by Alan Tudyk- wait a second, how many Disney movies have you been in now, pal?), and even more bit characters get their own really memorable moments (I’m sure the wolves need no introduction. Huh, I’d say between this and Storks that it’s been good year for wolves). Again, I could really expand on these a lot more, but there’s just no room or time here.

The comedy is absolutely great. It goes between really sharp, witty banter to even the use of puns, though these are used in a much smarter way than I’ve seen plenty other movies (especially animated ones) use them- they’re pretty much background gags. They’re never in your face, and they’re pretty much used for scenery, which makes them really great to go hunt down when rewatching the movie- I certainly did.

While “Try Everything” may be really far from the best pop song (though considering how awful of a year for pop music 2016 was, it may be one of the few that actually qualifies as even “listenable”) the rest of the soundtrack is really fun. Movie scores are something I don’t usually notice because 90% of the time they’re often really generic and forgettable, and then there’s movie scores like in Accidental Love which are grating and make you want to kill yourself. But this one has a score that is really enjoyable to listen to, goes really well with the movie and adds that little extra hint of fun to a lot of scenes (like Judy giving out the parking tickets for the first time, or her chasing Duke in Little Rodentia). I wouldn’t say this is the biggest positive about the movie, but I think it’s worth pointing out nonetheless. No, if you want a REAL major positive here it is:

The movie manages to combine a lot of really great elements that makes it a really enjoyable family movie, from the comedy to the characters, but it also has some really brilliant uses of filmmaking to make the movie also a really great mystery and leave little extra touches for anyone watching the movie to notice, even when they’re not in your face, or as I like to call it the “Edgar Wright Method” (He may not have been the first one to do this, but it’s my example so shut up and read). If any of you have seen a movie by Edgar Wright- and knowing my audience, I’m going to say that’s probably most of you- this movie pulls a really nice trick of putting tiny little bits of plot littered in the background. The brilliance of this is that it allows the audience to notice things that any less competent filmmaker would have just simply presented, but with someone like Edgar Wright he just leaves things like really great, funny gags way in the back that you may catch out of the corner of your eye, or other little moments that make you go “rewind that, I want to see that again”, which happens here but in a way that sets up the final act of the movie. Seeing the movie for the first time I’ll admit, I didn’t see any of these extra details, but now that I’ve seen the movie several times I feel like I’m discovering something new every time I rewatch it. Even shots are reused to make really sharp, contrasting parallels that actually help in the intensity and drama, as well as the investment in the audience.

I love movies that feel rewarding to revisit, these kinds of movies actually acknowledge that their audience is smart enough that they don’t need to have exposition jammed down their throat, they can find these details for themselves because they’re that observant, and seeing this kind of fine crafting in an animated movie of all things is the kind of thing that I want other movies like Sing, or Ice Age: Collision Course, or hell, even movies like Kubo and the Two Strings can learn a thing or two about Zootopia- movies are a visual form of storytelling, you don’t have to talk down to anyone just because your movie is restricted to needing to be seen by a younger audience, they’re smart too, and movies like this can really go a long way into showing what animation can really do.

Oh yeah, there’s a message in this movie, isn’t there? I pushed this until the very end on purpose, because, like I said, this movie has a lot of amazing things going for it that this is just icing on the cake. The message of prejudice is something that clearly hasn’t gone overlooked- it really doesn’t take a rocket scientist to notice it. Now I did say that I don’t think that the old concept for the movie would have worked, and here’s why: it would have come across as insanely heavy-handed. The movie would have suffered from a grim atmosphere, compounding that with the message of “prejudice is bad” would have come across as a more of a “no duh” moment, rather than how it’s presented here in the way that it’s entirely possible for someone, even if they are the nicest people in the world, to have prejudices of their own. Now, I’m being very specific with my wording here- “prejudice” and not “racism”, because the thing that it seems that some people who failed to grasp the point of the movie love to connect this movie as being a movie that’s about racism, when it could really be applied to a wide variety of different scenarios. Something else I don’t think this movie gets enough credit for is the fact that it not only gets you thinking about it, but it also helps you understand it. Not to give anything away but from the way we see one certain character be treated it actually becomes perfectly understandable why they act the way that they do- which is actually something that is really scary to think about. Again, I need to stress: “prejudice” NOT “racism”. There IS a difference, and it’s a very dangerous difference at that, and the way the movie deals with it is absolutely brilliant, as well as the fact that it answers what it can be done about it. It’s a crime mystery with a good enthralling mystery, and really smart commentary that also works within the context of the world, so even if you wanted to completely eliminate the message of this movie being connected to the real world in any way (though that’d be something really difficult to do), you can- the movie still works! The idea of taking a really beautiful, utopia and showing its ugly insides is a much smarter, more clever approach to deliver this kind of message; while there’s an obvious right and wrong, the morality is a little bit more grey and that allows you to discover shades about the characters and the world and how they all grow and develop into what, I consider to be, one of the true masterpieces of the decade. (2,636 words. This has, undoubtedly become my most positive review to date- and no, Finding Dory doesn't count because I spent half of that ranting about Pixar. Music: Shovel Knight- High Above the Land)

You know, back when I reviewed this movie the first time I gave it a... admittedly, joke review, and a joke score to go with it, but that was an intentional decision to exaggerate how I felt about the movie at the time. Though... that may not have been as far from the truth as I thought.

Yes, you're reading that right- not a 10, but an 11. I thought about this long and hard, but I can definitively say that Zootopia has joined an elite club of movies that I would call my unquestionable favorites. There's the 10s, movies which are absolutely perfect in every way, but then there's these movies- these are the movies that go above and beyond and will forever be part of a very small pantheon of movies that I not only find truly spectacular but absolutely worth watching again and again and never get tired of it. Now, if you have any problem with this... well, I'm assuming you made it 'till the end of the review, but hey that's what the comments are for, aren't they? And if not, then you're more than welcome to drink a cool, tall glass of "Shut the Fuck Up". Either way, it ain't going to ruin the way I sleep at night. Sigh... if only the next movie I had to talk about was going to be as fun as this. Next time, guys... I destroy Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. Oh yes, it WILL be a bloodbath. Until then~

#The Wall #Movie review #Zootopia #Disney #Catch Up January

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hkvoyage · 8 years ago

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Fic: Butterfly Wings - Chapter 28

Story summary A fashion blog started at University launched Blaine Anderson’s fortune and fame. As Vogue’s new editor-in-chief, he is struggling to find an original angle for an upcoming issue. Kurt Hummel has recently arrived in New York City after finishing high school, and is having no luck building a musical theater career, so he decides to explore another passion of his: fashion. He applies for an internship at Vogue, and Isabelle sees in him the perfect fresh face to liven up the magazine, and convinces him to try out as a model. Kurt meets Blaine, and in spite of their 10-year age difference, sparks fly. Can they overcome misunderstandings and sabotage to find their happily-ever-after? Klaine model AU. Rating for this chapter: General (overall story is mature) Word count for this chapter: 6,083 Can also be read on A03 / FF Masterpost is here. The fantastic artwork produced by Cassie at @cc-graphics can be here. Thank you to the amazing @lilyvandersteen for the beta work and support. ***** “I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.” - Unknown December “Thanks for getting the paperwork for the Monarch Foundation ready so quickly,” Blaine says sincerely, as he signs a huge stack of legal documents at his lawyer’s office. “My pleasure. I didn’t mind in the least, particularly since it’s for a good cause. Hope you have happy holidays this year.” Blaine leaves his lawyer’s office with a huge smile on his face and feels like skipping along the street. For years, he’s wanted to support the LGBT community in smaller towns - create a place where people of all ages could connect, hang out and seek advice. Provide temporary housing for those that are homeless or running away from a terrible situation. Sure, there are places like this in the larger towns and cities across the US, but this sort of option doesn’t exist in small Mid-Western towns. Last week, Blaine was told what his annual bonus would be, to be paid in early January. He had expected a large bonus– Vogue’s increased circulation and profits over the past year made sure of that – but he wasn’t expecting such a substantial discretionary amount. He knew instantly what to do with the money and contacted his lawyer to set up a non-profit foundation. Now his dream could finally become a reality.

The timing is perfect. Tomorrow he’s going home to Ohio for ten days over Christmas and the new year. He’s always planned for Westerville to be the first place to establish a Monarch House. He’ll look for a suitable property during his trip, and by the time the paperwork will be ready for the purchase, his bonus will be paid into his bank account. He can count on his mom and some Dalton teachers to help out until he can hire a director. Blaine runs through his mental checklist of what he needs to get done today. Thank god he bought everyone’s Christmas presents while he was in India. He pulls out his phone to call his mother to arrange for a real estate agent to show them properties. He needs to get a move on things before he gets on the plane for Ohio tomorrow. ***** Blaine walks briskly back to his car. At breakfast, his mother mentioned that the Lima Lenscrafters was the only store in the area that had the special Carolina Herrera SHE sunglasses that she desperately wants for Christmas. She had talked to the manager the previous day, who agreed to hold the pretty blue pair for 24 hours. Blaine is all too happy to take the not so subtle hint and buy them, even though it’s a long drive to get them. After all, she’s helping him to find the perfect place for Monarch House, although yesterday’s property hunting came to nothing. Blaine pulls the car out of the parking lot and turns onto West Elm Street, but is soon caught up in a traffic jam. The roads are as busy as expected two days before Christmas. He spots a sign with a coffee cup and ‘The Lima Bean’ written across the top, and decides to take a break from the heavy traffic. When he walks toward the coffee shop, Blaine wonders if he should order his usual medium drip or something fancy like a latte with peppermint or an eggnog spice. He abruptly stops when he looks into the coffee shop window and his heart begins to race. There, sitting at a table for two, are Kurt and Rachel Berry. Kurt looks even more stunning than Blaine remembers. Kurt’s hair is perfectly coiffed, showing off his rosy cheeks and his piercing blue eyes. His legs are crossed under the table and they look as if they go on forever. Kurt’s attention is focused on Rachel, who is talking excitedly, waving her arms through the air. God, how he misses Kurt. India would have been so much more fun if Kurt was there to experience it with him, but it’s the little things about Kurt that he misses the most. The random texts they had sent each other each day as a way of saying ‘I’m thinking about you’. Watching The Young and Restless together, with Kurt’s snarky comments, judging Cooper’s character and acting skills. Not really doing anything special, but hanging out and getting to know each other better. Most of all though, he misses Kurt’s hugs – a reminder of how Kurt made him feel special and taken care of. Kurt had never called him for that coffee he had suggested at the Whitney Art Party last month, but Blaine hadn’t thought that he would. Not with Sebastian around Kurt, making snide comments about Blaine and smearing his reputation. Here in Ohio, though, things might be different. Away from New York City and Sebastian, maybe they could find the time to really talk. Could they clear the air and salvage something from the past? But what is he going to say? He hadn’t expected to see Kurt in Lima and he doesn’t feel prepared for that discussion. Besides, what could they possibly say to each other with Rachel there as well? He’d have to come up with some sincere compliment about that godawful TV pilot of hers that aired last month. Blaine isn’t sure how long he’s been standing outside the Lima Bean gawping at Kurt, but he needs to choose what he’s going to do before Kurt notices him and the decision is out of his hands. Panic starts to rise in him. Blaine quickly heads back to his car and takes off for his parent’s place in Westerville. ***** “You look pale, Blaine. Weren’t you successful on your jaunt? The manager promised me…” “No, it has nothing to do with ‘the jaunt’ as you call it. It’s something else. I want to think about it on my own for a bit, if you don’t mind.” “I’m about to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas. That was always my favorite Christmas movie growing up. Why don’t you join me and we can talk - or not talk - if you want?” Blaine lies down on the couch in the den as his mother sets up the DVD. She then joins him on the couch and places his head on her lap. When she starts playing with his hair as they watch the movie, it feels comforting and soothing– a reminder of how they used to watch movies together when he was a little boy. When every Who in Whoville is singing and the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes, Blaine sighs deeply and says, “I saw Kurt. He was at a coffee shop in Lima.” Pam continues to stroke Blaine’s hair and replies, “How did it go? Did you work things out?” “I didn’t talk to Kurt. He didn’t even know I was there. He was with a friend, and we would only have made polite small talk if I had interrupted them. It would have been so awkward, so I left.” “Now that you know he’s in Ohio for the holidays, why don’t you call him after Christmas and see if you can meet up?” “I don’t know. I don’t think Kurt is interested in me. I haven’t really spoken to him since the diva-off, and lord knows I’ve tried. When we bumped into each other last month – you know, when Cooper was with me at the Whitney Art Party – Kurt said he would call me to arrange to meet for a coffee, but he never did. I know that it’s not really a fixable problem. It hurts knowing that I love him but can’t have him. I wish things between us had turned out differently.” “Blaine, I know it hurts right now and it will take time for you to get over him, but honey, you’re doing all of the right sort of things. You’re so much more relaxed since you went to India in October. Setting up the first Monarch House will keep you busy and keep your mind off Kurt. At some stage, though, you’ll need to let your feelings towards Kurt go. Start dating new men. There are plenty of fish in the sea…. After all, the New Yorker Magazine just dubbed you ‘the ‘#1 Gay and Single Hot Dude in New York City’ for the second year in a row.” Pam does air quotes around that last sentence and pokes Blaine gently in the ribs. Blaine rolls his eyes at his mother. He’d rather not be the hot dude in the city, and certainly not single. Sure, there’s plenty of men who want to be with him, but not the man that he wants. He gets up from the couch and stretches, and is surprised to see his father just inside the den’s door. He wonders how much of the conversation with his mother he’s heard. Blaine’s body tenses as he thinks of the inevitable talk he has to have with his father about the video. His father gives him a curt smile as Blaine leaves for his bedroom. Blaine needs to gift-wrap those sunglasses before his mother hunts his bedroom for them. ***** “Sup, Sam? Are you and Mercedes in Kentucky with your family?” “Yeah, we got here last night. Merry Christmas. What did Santa bring you?” “The usual… A Christmas bow tie, some music scores I wanted, stuff like that. What about you? Were you naughty or nice this year?” “Definitely both. I had to be naughty to get something nice.” “That’s pretty cryptic. What do you mean? “Mercedes is pregnant!” “That’s fantastic news, Sam! When’s the due date?” “June 14th. Please, please, please don’t tell anyone. We wanna keep it under wraps until the birth. Mercedes will finish recording her album before she really starts to show. Then in August, she’ll start another tour. I’ll go on tour with her to take care of the baby.” “It sounds like you’ve got it all figured out. Your secret is safe with me. I have another idea of what you can do when you’re on the tour bus with Mercedes.” “What’s that?” “Keep creating that webcomic! You’re really onto something. Biffy is so adorable as the surfer who loves to bake cupcakes. Then, you have the leader of the pack, Jamie. I think you should make him gay, but in the closet, and struggling with it. It could really create some tension in the story.” “That sounds cool. I’ve set Jamie up with a father who was the World Surf Champion back in his day. Everyone has high expectations of Jamie, so yeah, maybe he turns out gay. Could you help me figure out this Jamie dude? I mean, I don’t know what it’s like being in the closet.” Blaine roars with laughter. “Me neither!” Sam whispers into the phone, “By the way, did you check out KrianFeels’ update yesterday?” “Yeah, I did. I loved how Brian and Kevin sang ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’. Very clever to take such a traditional song and twist it for two love-struck gay teenage boys.” “I’m not talking about that part. I was thinking about later… You know, when Kevin throws Brian on the piano and fucks him. A piano is probably higher than his dick. So how could he possibly do it?” “Sam, sometimes I worry about you.” ***** “Blaine, can you step into my study?” Michael, Blaine’s father, asks. Blaine’s heart sinks with these words. He knows that he has to have ‘the talk’ with his father and no talk with his father in the study is good news. Since he’s been home, they have avoided speaking about the Klainegate video, but now the time has come. Blaine wishes that Cooper had been able to get time off from work to come home for Christmas, to divert the attention away from him. His mother squeezes his arm and smiles – it feels as if she’s secretly telling him to be brave. And then the strangest thing happened. His mother walks to his father and gives him the exact same gentle squeeze and smile. She then quickly disappears to the kitchen to do the washing-up after the Christmas meal. The study is just as Blaine remembers it. There’s a big imposing dark oak desk with a wall-length bookcase behind it, filled with hardback books about history, business, and biographies. A deep red oriental carpet fills the space in front of the desk, and there’s an antique wooden cabinet filled with whiskey bottles and crystal-cut tumblers. Blaine reminds himself that he is a 28-year-old man and isn’t under his father’s control any longer. His father pours whiskey into two glasses and indicates for him to sit down. Blaine decides to start the conversation, to get it over with. “I’m really sorry about the video, Father. I had absolutely no idea it was being filmed and would be put on the Internet for the whole world to see. I must have been an embarrassment to you.” Michael takes a sip of his whiskey and nods. “It was a difficult time afterwards. You should have heard the jokes made at the country club, particularly since we held that fundraising party the previous night. However, your mother and I have held our heads up high and continue to go to the club on the weekends. It’s been a real lesson on who your true friends are. In future, be more careful. I’m not saying you should go into the closet, but just make sure that there’s no-one else around. I… err… think that’s enough of that subject, don’t you?” Blaine firmly nods and thinks he’s got off lightly about the video. He’s relieved that his father considers the subject matter closed. His father is looking more relaxed now, so Blaine decides to ask about what has really been bothering him for months. “I have a question for you, Father. After the diva-off performance, you sent me a text saying that you loved it. What exactly did you mean by that?” Blaine’s father takes a sip of his whiskey. Blaine can tell that he’s thinking carefully about what he’s going to say. “Watching you perform at the diva-off... I realized that you have achieved more than most men in their lifetimes. There you were, on stage, showing the world exactly who you were. A man who runs a multimillion-dollar media empire. A man who’s passionate about raising money for charity. A man comfortable in his own skin. And yes, a gay man who is proud of who he is. The feather jacket was a little over the top, but you owned every moment on that stage. You were brimming with confidence and looked so happy. You deserved to win. So yes, I loved the diva-off performance. I was very proud of you.” Blaine is surprised at his father’s words. “I thought you didn’t like me being myself? Being gay?” His father takes another sip of his whiskey before answering. The air is thick with tension. “Blaine, when you were 13 years old, you sat your mother and myself down in the living room one day and told us that you were gay, in your most earnest and serious voice. Frankly, I was shocked. The Walnut Springs Middle School had sent us something about the sex education classes the previous month. I thought they had put the idea in your head.” “Father, it’s not like that. You don’t get to choose your sexuality. It’s something you’re born with.” “I can’t say I understand that entirely. When I was 13 years old in the late 60s, I never thought about my sexuality. It was assumed that boys would marry girls, have two kids, and live in the ‘burbs. I never doubted that for myself.” “Just because you didn’t doubt it, doesn’t mean that there weren’t others who were different… who were gay.” “I’m from a different generation than you. I didn’t know anybody who was gay at school. If there were f… gays, they were definitely in the closet. It was illegal back then. You could go to jail for doing things with someone of the same sex.” Blaine takes a sip of his drink, reminding himself of how things have progressed since his father was growing up. “Times have certainly moved on from then – and for the better. You were so angry at me at the time, but you hardly said a word.” “I wasn’t happy that you were gay, Blaine. However, I did know that nothing was going to change your mind… or who you are. At the time, I was thinking of AIDS and how difficult your life would be not fitting in. Frankly, I was thinking about not having a grandchild - my own flesh-and-blood grandchildren.” “But gay men can get married, have two kids and live in the ‘burbs. It’s what I want for myself! We can find a surrogate and have our own children using artificial insemination.” “Blaine, think back to fifteen years ago. Same sex marriage was only recently legalized in Ohio after that Supreme Court ruling. Surrogacy hadn’t even crossed my mind as an option. I thought that was something couples did when a woman had plumbing problems. I have learnt a lot since you came out to us. Your mother has helped with that. But at the time, I didn’t know anything and felt out of my depth. I felt uncomfortable talking about it.” “Is that why you got rid of me to Dalton when I got beaten up at the Sadie Hawkins dance?” “I didn’t get rid of you. I was trying to protect you! I didn’t think you would survive through graduation at a public high school. Look what they did to you during your freshman year! I couldn’t let that happen again. Dalton had that great anti-bullying policy and was accepting of students like yourself. And they were willing to take you after the start of the school year. There wasn’t really any choice, so I took out a second mortgage to make that happen.” “But why did I board? I could have been a day student. I felt as though you were abandoning me.” “We weren’t abandoning you, Blaine. You loved wearing those bow ties and brightly-colored clothes. It was obvious you were gay. I was worried about what would happen to you after school and on the weekends, hanging around the kids in the neighborhood. I knew you would be safe at Dalton, so that’s where you stayed. Besides, you were so happy there.” “Okay… but even when I was home during that first summer, you were trying to make me straight by working on that car.” “Honestly, Blaine, that was not my intention. I wanted to spend time with you so I could understand things… who you were. When I was growing up, I worked on a car with my father. I enjoyed it and I thought you would as well. Look, I’m not a perfect person or father. I was doing my best and it was the only thing I could think of.” Blaine mulls over what his father just told him. He could sort of understand his father’s intentions back in high school, but he would have to think that through carefully later. However, he couldn’t see why his father had been so insistent for him to study business at college. “Why didn’t you want me to study music in college? You and mom always encouraged us to play instruments and sing. Hell, you even got me that job at Six Flags over the summers.” “Blaine, when I was in college, I wanted to be a musician more than anything else in the world. I met your mother during my second year and I fell deeply in love. With her love of the piano, I thought we were going to conquer the world. But then she got pregnant with Cooper during our senior year. I had to find a way to support your mother and a baby. Your grandparents had told us in no uncertain terms that we had made our bed and now we had to lie in it. I knew we were going to be on our own after graduation with a baby coming. Starting a music career wasn’t an option, so I took as many business courses as I could in the last semesters. When we graduated, I started work at the insurance company. I was so grateful to be able to put food on the table and support your mother and Cooper. That was very important to me.” “But what does that have to do with me?” “I thought that as a gay man, you’d be alone all your life, needing to support yourself. You were so bright and got such good grades at Dalton. When you got accepted at Harvard, I was so relieved. I knew that sort of college education would keep you in good stead all your life. Music was always going to be important to you, but I thought it would be a hobby, like it is for your mother and me.” Blaine isn’t sure if he likes that his father thinks he’ll be alone all his life, but at least he’s being honest with Blaine. “So you’re okay with me being gay?” “I might not like it, but it’s who you are. I’ve learnt to accept it. Never think for one moment that I don’t love you… Because I do.” Blaine slowly gets out of his chair, walks over to his father, who is also standing, and gives him a hug. “I love you too. Wow, I’m going have to think about this and get my head around it. Good night, I’m heading off to bed.” ***** After a shower, Blaine changes into his pajamas and climbs into bed. His mind is still reeling from the talk earlier that night. His father made Blaine look at his childhood memories in an entirely different light. Did he really get everything wrong? Was his father’s version of his childhood what really happened? Blaine pulls out his scrapbooks and flicks through the pages. He laughs at the photo of himself wearing his first Nightbird outfit that his Aunt Laura created from an old Batman costume. He cringes when he sees himself in colorful plaid shirts and bow ties. He has certainly learnt a lot about fashion since those days. While Blaine doesn’t think you can judge someone’s sexuality by the clothes that they wear, he would have definitely been given a hard time by the boys in the neighborhood. As he flips through the scrapbook pages of his Dalton days, he thinks fondly back to the times with the Warblers. For all the important competitions and graduation - moments that really mattered to him - his father was there in the photos. He didn’t remember that his father had attended all those events, too busy goofing off with his friends. Blaine goes to his closet and pulls out the shoebox containing the photos of his father and him working on that stupid car. He’s never wanted to scrapbook them and be reminded of the project. For the first time in years, he pores over the photos. Sure, both he and his father are smiling for the camera, but their body language is telling a different story, of tense awkwardness. He’s never appreciated that his father was just as nervous as he was. Amy was right. The camera lens can show a different perspective of what’s straight in front of you. It’s neither the right one nor the wrong one, just a different view. So maybe the true version of what went on during his teens is not his or his father’s. What if it’s a blend of the two? ***** Blaine and his mom are sitting around the kitchen table, looking at houses for sale in the Westerville area on the computer. They have spent the past two days with a real estate agent looking at properties that have the potential to become the Monarch House. Blaine leans back in his chair and groans, “I never thought it would be this difficult to find a place.” “Don’t give up, sweetie. We’ll find the right place. It’s going to take time, though.” His father joins them at the table with three mugs of coffee he has made while listening to their conversation. “I was talking to Blake Pemberwell at the club last weekend. His father died last month and he plans to sell the place on the corner of East Walnut and Summit. It’s a huge three-story house with a large backyard. It’ll need fixing up because I doubt old man Pemberwell did anything to the place since his wife passed away fourteen years ago. It’s within walking distance of Westerville South High School. There’s also a bus stop close by to go downtown. Blake’s going to put it on the market in January.” “I know the exact house you’re talking about. It would be perfect!” Pam exclaims. “I was really hoping to have a house decision wrapped up this vacation, but I guess I can come back next month to check it out,” Blaine comments with a sigh. “How about I call Blake and see if we can give the place a once-over while you’re here? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” Michael walks to the study to make the phone call. After five minutes, he returns with a smile on his face. “Blake doesn’t mind at all. He told me where the key is hidden on the front porch. So, what do you say, Blaine? Want to go check it out?” Blaine is stunned that his father’s offering to go house-hunting for his new charity project. He looks at his mother, who has a gentle smile on her face. “I’m going to start making that lasagna that you both like so much. Count me out.” After a ten-minute drive, Michael parks the car in the driveway of an old rambling house. The paintwork is peeling off, but it looks structurally sound. They explore the rooms on each floor, mindful of the dust and the clutter. When they return to the main living room, Michael starts to speak excitedly. “That top floor would be perfect for the dormitory. You can easily fit two sets of bunk beds into each room. The second floor could work for the staff offices and there could be individual counseling rooms. The basement is big enough that you could have both a pool table and a ping pong table set up. The kitchen would have to be completely ripped out, but then again, I’m sure that there all sorts of health regulations it’ll need to comply with. This living room would be perfect with a big-screen TV, a place for people to relax…” Blaine is stunned by his father’s rambling. “You’re really into this, aren’t you?” “Maybe we should have renovated a house when you were a teenager instead of working on a car.” “Ha! Maybe we should have, although I suspect I would have thought you were going to squirrel me away inside it.” “Like Rapunzel waiting for Prince Charming? I think that you’d have liked that idea.” Blaine roars with laughter. He honestly can’t remember ever joking around with his father, but it feels good. ***** “Blaine, can you come join me in the study?” Instead of feeling the usual dread at being summoned into the study, Blaine jumps up eagerly to go join his father. Blaine notices that his father’s chair is pulled around to the front of the desk. Once they are sitting next to each other, Michael start to speak. “I just got off the phone with Pemberwell. He hasn’t signed an agreement with a real estate agent yet. He’s always been a procrastinator, and this time, it works in our favor. He’s agreed to accept a bid lower than the asking price he was planning. After reminding him that this is for a good cause, that he doesn’t have to pay a commission and that he’ll get cash in a few weeks’ time, he agreed to knock off 20%. It’s under your budget, so you’ll have money for those renovations needed. Are you interested?” “Oh my god, this is happening… Yes! I want the house.” “I’ll let Blake know tomorrow. Leave it with me. I’ll get my lawyer to start the necessary paperwork. Your mother’s interviewing possible directors, so maybe I can find an architect to come up with a plan for the renovation?” “You would do that for me?” “I wouldn’t offer, if I didn’t want to help out. Help you out, that is, Blaine.” Blaine has a warm feeling inside. Maybe they should have renovated a house together when he was a teenager. There’s been something else on his mind and this is as good as any time to bring it up. “Can I ask you about something? When you mentioned Rapunzel waiting for Prince Charming…” “I know. You want to be Prince Charming… Or maybe Nightbird rescuing Prince Charming?” Blaine laughs at his father’s joke, thinking of himself in his Nightbird outfit saving Kurt, who’s wearing a tiara. “Very funny. No, I was thinking about what your reaction would be if I brought a guy home that I’m serious about and want to marry? I mean… It’s one thing to be proud of me - all aspects of me - but it’s another matter altogether meeting the love of my life. And yes, I do dream of getting married and having kids.” “I think I’m going to need a whiskey to get through this discussion. Will you join me?” “If you think you need one, then so do I.” “Is this about Kurt?” Michael asks as he pours an inch of whiskey into two glasses. “Maybe. I don’t know.” “Don’t play coy with me, Blaine. I’ve been honest with you this entire holiday. The least you can do is be honest with me.” “Okay… Yes. At least, I hope it will be Kurt.” “You probably won’t agree with me, but I know you very well. Your mother’s been showing me the photos of you and Kurt on the Internet this past year. One thing I know for certain is that you’re in love with Kurt. It’s written all over your face. I also might have heard that conversation with your mother a few days before Christmas – after you saw Kurt at a Lima coffee house. I know that this Kurt is someone special in your life.” “I want him to be.” “To answer your question, I’d be fine with it if you brought home somebody. Knowing that you were settled and happy with someone would mean a lot to me. I would look closely to make sure he’s the man you deserve… that he…err…loves you back. It might be a little awkward at first, because I’m not used to seeing two men together, but I’ll get used to it over time. I’ll really try for you. But Blaine, never ever put on a performance with someone in my house like I saw in that video.” Michael pauses when he sees Blaine blushing, then adds, “Far too many feathers for my liking.” Blaine almost chokes at the last remark. Does his father really have a sense of humor? Before he can say anything, his father continues to speak. “You and me – we’re more alike than you think. We Anderson men never do anything half-hearted. When we meet that someone special, we fall in love deeply and passionately. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing. The other day, I heard your mother encouraging you to date other men. My advice to you is… Don’t do it.” “What?! You want me to stay single all my life? You just said that you were okay with me bringing home a man!” “I don’t want you to bring home any man, Blaine. I want you to bring home Kurt. If you really love him, go after him, Blaine. Talk with him, beg him, do anything you have to do to win him over.” Michael looks in the distance and starts chuckling, getting louder with each passing second. “What’s so funny, Dad?” “There was a time when your mother and I had a rough patch at the beginning of our senior year. She wanted nothing more to do with me, but I wanted her so desperately. I actually serenaded her in the outdoor commons area to win her back.” Oh. My. God! Is that where I get it from?! “You’ve got to be kidding me. I can’t imagine it!” “Well, imagine this… One lunchtime, I borrowed my friend’s boom box and sang ‘Maybe I’m Amazed’ to your mother in front of her friends and most of the student body. I think I won her over when I jumped onto the ledge of the fountain and then slid on my knees towards her at the end of the song.” “So what happened after that?” “Cooper.” ***** Baby, I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time, And maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you. Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time, You hung me on the line. Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you. Blaine is in his bedroom, listening to the classic Paul McCartney song. The words that his father sang to his mother all those years ago resonate with him as well. He scrolls through his photos of him and Kurt on his phone – not the ones taken by the paparazzi, but those taken when they were at the Brooklyn Flea Market, Central Park, Governor Island, and at home. His father was right. It’s painfully obvious that he’s been in love with Kurt from the start. Although he’s looked at the photos thousands of times before, he sees something different now. He’s always thought that Kurt’s blushing and sweet smiles are endearing - part of his nature. But maybe they are only on Kurt’s face for Blaine. Kurt looks at him as if he’s the single best thing in the world. Kurt looks as if he’s in love. I’ve been an idiot! It’s been staring me in face all this time. I wasn’t brave enough to believe it. Baby, I'm a man, maybe I'm a lonely man Who's in the middle of something That he doesn't really understand. Tomorrow is January 1st, and a time for new beginnings. For once in his life, Blaine sees things very clearly and knows what he needs to do. ***** Blaine stomps the snow off his boots when he steps onto the front porch. He’s glad to see the pick-up truck in the driveway because it’s a sign that somebody’s home. After ringing the doorbell, the door slowly opens. “Blaine! I wasn’t expecting you. Come inside. It looks like there’s another storm brewing.” Blaine enters the Hummel house and takes off his boots and pea jacket. He looks around the main room and is disappointed when he doesn’t see anybody else. “Is Kurt here?” “Sorry, you just missed him. I dropped him off at the airport a couple of hours ago,” Burt replies. Blaine closes his eyes and sighs deeply. He’d thought that this was going to be the perfect day. He had it all planned. “I guess I’ll catch up with him next week when we’re both in New York.” “Kurt won’t be in New York next week. He’s moving to Paris.” Blaine feels as if the wind has been knocked out of him. “Paris!?” “Come have a seat, Blaine. I’ll tell you all about it.” Burt goes to the kitchen to grab two beers and joins Blaine in the living room. Burt explains how Kurt had felt working at Elle and why it had been necessary for him to break the contract. With no specific plans for the future, Kurt had decided to combine his modeling work with travel. “Kurt could have always come back to Vogue. I would have hired him in a heartbeat,” Blaine insists. “I don’t think he could, Blaine.” “Does this have to do with me? Did Kurt feel like he had to leave the country to get away from me? Is he that angry at me?” Blaine asks with a trembling voice. He can barely contain the tears that are welling up in his eyes. “It’s nothing like that. He’s not mad at you. It actually has nothing to do with you,” Burt replies. “Kurt is 19 years old and is trying to figure out what path to take in life. It seems as if it was only yesterday that Kurt had grand plans to attend NYADA and become a star on Broadway. You’ve shown him that there are other options available. Kurt needs to work out how his modeling career fits into the newer version of himself.” “But I like any version of Kurt. Why can’t I be there for Kurt while he’s going through this?” Blaine asks, placing his head in the palms of his hands. “I love him. I’d marry him tomorrow if he’d have me. And now I’ve lost him forever.” Burt sighs and looks at Blaine for a long moment. Finally, he says, “I know my son very well, and he looks at you as if you’re the most precious person in the world. Kurt is still young. If you’re meant to be together, you’ll find your way back to each other. Everything will work out the way it should be in the end.” “But how do you know?” Blaine retorts. “Because that’s life. You need to relax, Blaine, and not force it. Kurt won’t be in Paris forever. He’ll make his way to you when the time is right. Can that be enough for now?” Blaine nods slowly, because it will have to be enough for now. Burt gets up from his recliner and looks out the window. “Blaine, you’re staying here tonight. The storm has started and I’m not comfortable with you driving back to Westerville in this weather. How about you change into something of Kurt’s and we watch a Buckeyes game on TV? We’re in luck - they’re playing in Arizona today.” Blaine goes upstairs to Kurt’s room and changes into a pair of sweatpants and a McKinley hoodie. Kurt’s clothes feel strangely comforting to Blaine, as if Kurt is wrapped around him. He texts his mother that he’s spending the night in Lima before heading downstairs to join Burt once again in the living room. Blaine hopes that Burt is right and everything will work out in the end. It just has to. Author’s note Song used in the chapter - ‘Maybe I’m Amazed’ by Paul McCartney So, there you have it – my version of Blaine’s father. For more thoughts about Blaine’s father and other things in this chapter, head to the story’s master post on Tumblr (HKVoyage) and check out the author thoughts section. Next up: Kurt in Paris.

#my fic: Butterfly Wings #author: HKVoyage #hkvoyagewrites #klaine fanfiction #klaine fanfic

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