#did NOT want to color this so i just didnt and slapped a super obvious gradient map on top LMAO

[craigularory-joe]

Day 12

[gaymafia]

I’m legitimately curious why people didn’t like the last Jedi? I saw it and thought it was okay? Is there something I missed or? Like it wasn’t great but it was passable?

ok so i wasnt gonna do this here bc nobody fucking asked but u asked so thank u but also strap in ur ready for a while ride

TLJ spoilers, obviously. also my issues are going to be numbered in no particular order bc my thoughts on this movie are so fucking scrambled but here we go

1. Kyle Ron. First of all fuck Ryeanne for making me see so many goddamn closeups of Adam Driver’s ugly ass face. I did not need to see all that he is so goddamn ugly especially that fucking shirtless scene where he looks like a block of pasty ass pale wood.

But for real, Kylo Ren. I don’t actually take issue with his existence, because Kyle really does excellently represent rich ass white boys who have everything handed to them but throw a hissy fit when they face the slightest adversity an throw tantrums all the time. It’s nice to see a villain that represents most people real-life nightmares instead of like, a Sexy Temptress or Old Evil Man or whatever. That being said, kyle is not given the villain’s treatment in this movie. if you cut out all the scenes where ryan is not actively sucking adam driver’s dick and jizzing all over himself over kyle’s angsty white boy angst, the movie has virtually no real plot (”oh no we are in space with no fuel, nobody is going to do anything except get mad at each other, miscommunicate, and deliberately make all the characters of color worthless while separating Finn and Poe bc fuck the gays”). So much of the movie is spent not just establishing how kyle became kyle (which is good! backstory for villains is good!), but trying to get us to like, sympathize with him? which is the shitty part. I dont care that Luke “”””tried to kill”’’’ (he didn’t) kyle. kyle had turned to the dark side before luke’s mistake. kyle had a million and one chances to change his mind from the start of TFA to the end of TLJ, and he never did. Kyle is an evil guy. We need one of those. He’s a great evil guy bc he’s got so many shitty qualities. But ryin doesnt want us to hate kyle, even tho hes the villain. why the fuck doesnt reean want us to hate kyle? bc rayan is also a shitty little man who thinks giving ur white boy a sob story makes him a sympathetic villain and sidelining ur characters of color will help.

also again the fucking shirtless scene what the shit man that was so gross

2. Will be broken down into A, B, C, etc. bc TLJ treats its characters of color like SHIT. 

2A. Finn. Finn gets put in a coma bc why would anyone want to write anything interesting for john boyega its not like hes the MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN and the MOST TALENTED ACTOR who is being sidelined bc ryun hates black people. Yeah Finn is totally into Rey and he wants to save her and is willing to desert the rebellion for her. that happened in the first movie but why give your characters real arcs when you can recycle old ones to jerk off to kyle ron. the rose thing happens, shes like “we can disable the tracking” and like TWO SECONDS after he was dead set on desertion he’s totally down to risk his life for the rebellion at rey’s expense? that sure is a quick 180 with no real reason why and no writing to explain it! then there was the whole “separate finn and poe” thing ryain pulled for the shits and giggles.

2B. Rose. I was pretty chill with Rose, she had a dope backstory, her sister was badass, and I liked that they made that connection off the bat. I’m not mad about anything rayn did with her character but i genuinely believe thats only because i havent thought about it enough yet. give me a week and i’ll figure out how rain fucked it up. open to suggestions.

2C. Poe. Full offense but was I supposed to be mad at Poe for coming up with a plan when that bitch Holdo was like “I’m not gonna tell you my plan sit tight and be convinced we are all going to die :)” i legitimately did not understand how I was supposed to be mad at poe for doing what he thought was best for the rebellion after he asked holdo what the plan was and she was deliberately obstinate and refused to even be like “dont worry i have a plan” she was just like. so dumb. Also poe got thrown around a lot and i am A Little Suspicious of how much physical violence he experienced compared to many other characters.

2D. You guessed what was next! The slaps! Super awesome how the two men of color were slapped by white people!!!! So deep!!!!!!! For real tho uh the second time i saw this movie someone in the audience laughed when poe got slapped by space hitler hux and uh??? not funny. not funny or cute or clever to use the guy you built your entire nazi imagery on to slap the one black man on your cast. i dont care if it was supposed to make us “hate hux” or whatever more. i already hated hux reyn. you could have used that screentime in your 3 fucking hour long movie for something valuable, like giving finn a character arc, or literally anything else besides that goddamn slap. i was livid watching that.

and then with leia and poe? i get that part of the conflict was internal in the resistance and one of the major themes was how failure is the best teacher and all that but like? maybe stop physically assaulting all your characters of color? maybe uhhhh at least think about that first??

2E. like i mentioned before one of the obvious themes was how failure is the best teacher so naturally all the major characters had to fail at something, and then learn from their mistake to be better next time. with luke it was fucking up with kyle, with rey it was being naive enough to think kyle could turn, with poe it was the dreadnaught thing, finn was left out of this because raan dooesn give a shit abt finn bc hes a racist bastard, etc. but it was incredibly transparent how all of the white characters’ mistakes meant either personal losses or something small scale with one person, while the mistakes of the characters of color (poe/finn/rose) were all ones that cost the rebellion the vast majority of their forces. rey got out of her fight with kyle and snoke unscathed. luke got a lot of guilt and character development. What did finn poe and rose get? the deaths of like 99% of the resistance on their shoulders. A little too coincidental that even though rey LITERALLY GAVE HERSELF OVER TO SNOKE she was totally fine a-ok no real scars, finn and poe and rose doing their best to save the rebellion while admiral holdo refuses to tell them anything costs the resistance so fucking much. rey does the DUMBEST FUCKING THING with no real consequences and finn and poe and rose try their best and are punished severely for it.

2F. Really convenient how everything finn, poe, and rose did ended up being useless and just cost the rebellion lives, whereas at least rey’s mishap got snoke killed and taught her a lesson. reeeeaaaalllllyyyyyy convenient how finn, poe, and rose’s plan was a huge waste of time. it would have been much better for us to see an actual plot line with them that contributed to the story and their characterizations instead of “send them on a goose chase, make it pointless in the end, physically brutalize them along the way.

3. R*yl* bullSHIT: ryyn had a really fun time with a lot of very rape-y scenes in this movie. the whole force-connection thing with kyle and rey was soooooo uncalled for, it reeked of non-con fantasies, catered to the r*yl*s like nothing ever before, and was so goddamn gross. the obvious invasion of privacy and lack of consent was nasty, using it as a shitty device to make rey “come around” on kyle was NASTY and that whole thing was nasty. i know im not articulating this well but there was so much about that whole thing that bothered me. i just know reyhan was so fucking into it, inserting kyle into rey’s life, forcing her to completely drop all of her characterization in the first movie to suddenly thing kyle can be good, acting as if rey hasnt seen all the shit and known what hes done. the whole thing was gross and a really obvious example of why men shouldn’t be allowed to direct movies.

4. killing snoke was a dumbass fucking mistake. kyle is a tantrum-throwing temper-losing toddler. snoke was evil and mysterious and shit idk. we knew he was powerful as fuck, he looked like a testicle which is a great villain imo, he was the darth sidious and they killed him off while kyle is still in like. ep2!Anakin levels of angst. i get that kyle is already powerful or whatever but like. hes not cold and calculated the way snoke was. kyle is a good villain, but a weak main baddie bc hes dumb as fuck. he let the rebellion get away bc he was pissed at luke. that was dumb as fuck. kyle is ruined by his emotions, and snoke was a scarier main baddie bc he wasnt so fucking dumb lol

5. it was so fucking long. there were so many scenes that could have been cut or shortened. why did we need to see luke milking the tiddy of that weird alien cow thing. why did we need to see kyle ron shirtless. why did we need so many goddamn shots of the fucking porgs.

6. ya the porgs are cute or whatever but like. that whole “look at how sad the cute big-eyes porg is when chewie is eating his friend” thing was so dumb. i dunno why but i hated that the most. that was the worst thing the porgs did. they were cute but like chill disney u know they like ran algorithm after algorithm to make that porg the cutest it could be with science or some bullshit and like? thats dumb.

7. i get that the humor in star wars movies is shifting but i felt like there was too much of it and it was dumb. a lot of the riffs werent funny and there were too many of them for a star wars film. star wars usually doesnt take itself too seriously, but this one was a little too much for me.

8. there were too many plot twists for shock value. the story went on too long. it should have ended earlier but it didnt. i dont know why ryenn decided to have like 6 different climaxes but it was too much. should have let there be one climax buddy. thats it.

9. holdo. besides holdo being the white feminist icon why didnt she just fucking tell poe the plan. why. why was so deliberately obstinate when it was doing no good. like yeah of course poe sent out a crew to try to save the rebellion all u told him to shut up and let you handle it! obvously what she did in the end was badass or whatever but like uh hun next time dont be a piece of shit and then get mad when people react to you being a piece of shit. i would have been okay with all that happening if holdo wasnt treated like some hero who never made any mistakes. she did make a mistake, and that was refusing to tell poe what her plan was when she knew he was absolutely the type to do whatever he could to save the rebellion whether he had her permission or not. also apparently holdo is a lesbian or bi or not straight or something in like the comics or whatever and like 1. classic bury ur gays but also 2. no more word of god gay characters if a character is not gay in the movies i will not give you the gay cred for it sorry homophobes

10. i didnt buy the story w luke and kyle at lukes jedi training facility or whatever. surprisingly, i was ok with lukes story line and character development, and actually agreed with it for the most part, but i just like. i dunno i didnt feel like that was something luke would do. not because luke is infallible (even tho he is my gay dad who has never done anything wrong ever) but because the entire original trilogy is luke believing darth vader could be saved. and while im not opposed to luke changing his mind about whether or not everyone could be turned away from the dark side (luke was young and optimistic in the original trilogy, and as he grew older he would learn more about the jedi and their history like the whole speech he gave rey about how the jedi have to end bc theyre lowkey shitty). i actually kind of liked luke’s hot take on the jedi, because it was lowkey my hot take on the jedi (esp the prequels jedi who were shitty as Fuuuuuck but we are ignoring the prequels for now lbr) but also because i could believe it was a view luke would come to as he aged. but impulsively drawing his lightsaber to kill kyle before he had actually done anything bad, after suspecting that kyle had darkness in him for a while, even though he felt like he had failed? it just didnt feel like luke to me. i felt more like raeyn had chosen that particular backstory to try to make kyle a more sympathetic villain rather than give a believable and in-character back story for the characters. i understand that luke’s failure ultimately has to lead to the creation of kyle ron in this story line, but that didnt feel like the right failure to me. maybe this is just me being nitpicky but that felt off to me too and i dont know if i can quite pinpoint why.

11. rey was a dumbass fucking bitch in this movie. rey could not be a dumbass fucking bitch to survive as a scavenger who was orphaned at birth on jakku. rey would have had to be smart and not as fucking DUMB as she was in this movie. now im getting heated so i cant articulate this well but she just did so many dumb things that anybody who had to raise themselves would have never done. she would never have delivered herself over to kyle ron like what a dumb fucking idea. who wrote this goddamn movie. fuck u ryeen.

12. why did yoda come back as a force ghost. where is anakins force ghost. he would be so fucking pissed at kyle right now. he would be mad as hell. he would have ended this thing. he would have called kyle out like the shitdickbitch he is and put him in his place. i get that yoda is more like ancient and orginal star wars jedi knowledge shit or whatever and like more of an authority on the jedi but like anakin is off in like force ghost hawaii drinking force ghost martinis while his shitty fucking grandson is being a piece of shit?? nah man anakin would have shut that shit down they better bring him back for ep IX and i expect hayden christensen himself to show up to bitch at kyle about what a fucking dumbass he is.

tbh theres probably more like i know there’s a ton of little things i hated but as scathing as this review is there were things i liked. visually speaking it was a very beautiful movie when we werent getting atrocious close ups of adam drivers ugly ass face. i originally hated but have come to appreciate the darker tone, since it mirrors the mood of TESB in that the rebellion seems dead but obviously isnt bc this is star wars. i liked luke. i dunno. i had a lot of issues with the movie obviously. to be quite honest i cant actually think of anything else i liked atm which is telling.

anyway if anybody actually reads this long ass fucking post feel free to respond with what you hated abt TLJ

[fitnessexpert00-blog]

The Ultimate Fitness Tracker Showdown

New Post has been published on https://fitnessqia.com/trending/the-ultimate-fitness-tracker-showdown/

The Ultimate Fitness Tracker Showdown

Video Transcript

Cody: Pear is a shape and therefore I’ve nailed it. Yes. All right, yeah. Let’s talk about all this new tech and stuff to get you healthy and fit.

Ryan: So in my house, we measure love by the kinds of gadgets your significant other gets you, and I still don’t have an Apple Watch. So, there you go everybody.

Cody: Clearly love.

Ryan: Not a lot of love. So the cool part about the new Apple Watch Series 4 is you get GPS and cellular, so you can leave your phone behind as you go run off on a trail, which is pretty cool. Bad news, 500 bucks. You can get the Samsung LTE version, 350 bucks. Also not awesome, right, but you get to leave your phone…but whatever. So when I run, I don’t want my phone slapping my leg, I want to be able to track my stuff when I’m cruising around, so we have an alternative to that. This is called the FitBit Ionic. It’s right here. This is pretty cool. You can have Pandora download all your stations from Pandora right onto the thing, you can track all of your fitness, check your weather. Do just about anything that you want to do.

Cody: It’s got a nice sized face on it.

Ryan: Yeah, it’s got a real nice face, a real adaptive touch screen, pretty awesome. This is only 250 bucks. And it has built-in GPS, so if you’re using Runkeeper or some other thing to track your thing, it’ll sync with that. And boom, 250 bucks, no phone.

Cody: I like that.

Ryan: That’s pretty cool, right? Plus you get access to this sweet FitBit app which works so amazing. It’s one of my favorite things. And we have a scale at home that also syncs with the FitBit. And it’s just all in one place. I just love that.

Okay, so let’s say you want to go a little bit less expensive. This one is called the FitBit Charge 3. This one’s 130 bucks. And this one’s right here. I put my wife’s band on, so it’s a little small for me, right? But it tracks the exact same kind of things, check your steps. It also recognizes what exercises you’re doing. So if you’re running or if you’re weightlifting it’ll kind of go, “Oh, you must be weightlifting so I’m going to track your cardio that way.” That’s pretty cool, right?

Cody: Yeah, I like that.

Ryan: So the next is the Amaze FitBip. Now this is only $80. It’s this one right here. You can kind of turn it sideways here. And this is a 30-day battery life. How crazy, 30 days? And this is made by…the watchmaker is 17% of the global market in FitBit-type watches and gadgets and stuff. 17%, it’s mostly international, so it’s not huge here in the states, but pretty cool. And then they also have this one here. This is it’s just a little token that goes on this band here. This is only 50 bucks.

Cody: And then what does that do?

Ryan: This little band here, it’s like a little washer, and that has GPS in it, tracks all of your steps. The same as the other gadgets, but it’s just this little thing right here. And you can see it through the app on your phone. That’s 50 bucks.

Cody: That’s kind of cool. I like that.

Ryan: That’s pretty awesome. So, last but not least. This is called the Motive, this is a ring, so if you’re not into putting a bunch of stuff on your wrist, the Motive ring, it’s 200 bucks, but look at it. It’s just this tiny little ring.

Cody: And that will keep up with stats and everything?

Ryan: I pulled up my stats from yesterday, so I can show off a little bit. So you can see that I checked how much sleep I got, it tracks…

Cody: Almost seven hours. Nice.

Ryan: Yeah almost seven full hours. It tracked when I did a pre-workout run, when I did my workout, and then when I did cardio afterwards, and it shows you your heart rate monitor, everything.

Cody: On a ring.

Ryan: So if you don’t want to wear a bunch of junk on your arms and stuff, there you go, 200 bucks, the Motive ring. I love it.

Cody: That’s pretty cool. I didn’t realize it could do all that. That’s pretty cool. It’s like Green Lantern’s ring.

Ryan: With sleep tracking, and cardio, and everything else, it’s just perfect. And…

Cody: Thanks, Ryan.

Ryan: We just dropped something.

Cody: Guess we just lost that. We just have to have fancy washer through.

Ryan: I’ll pick up 50 bucks on my way out the door.

Cody: Okay then.

Ryan: That’s fine.

Cody: Ryan’s good for it. Oh yeah it’s brand new. Just take it back. All right, thank you very much. Appreciate it. All right, back to you.

Once upon a time, fitness for the average home athlete involved a fair bit of guesswork. Sure, you could use a stopwatch to measure your speed — or a pedometer to measure your steps — but you’d probably need professional athletic expertise and equipment to access more meaningful metrics on your health and athletic performance.

How far we’ve come! These days even a rank amateur athlete can have a small biometric super-computer strapped to their wrist, measuring everything from basic activity level to potential heart arrhythmia.

Now before we go any further, it’s probably good if we name the large, chrome plated techno-elephant in the room. Fitness trackers are not for everyone. Some people dig fitness metrics, readouts, and statistics. The more data they can have about their inner workings, the better. Slap it in a graph and it’s golden! Others find the whole idea … well… a tad “squicky.” If fitness trackers just aren’t your bag, we totally get it.

If you like your tech less on your wrist and more in your pocket, we got you fam. Kindly.

Still reading? OK let’s do this thing! Let’s talk fitness trackers. Right now there are some amazing products out there and the competition is fierce. Here are a few hot contenders for the coveted title of “ultimate fitness tracker.”

Apple Watch 4 ($500) or Galaxy Watch LTE ($350+)

To make this comparison remotely fair, the Apple Watch 4 and the Galaxy Watch LTE really need to be tucked away in their own fancy-pants category — for want of a better term, let’s call them uber-watches.

Both these watches are the Swiss army knives of our technological age. They are fitness tracking watches, to be sure. They’ll measure your vitals, help you track your calories, give you reminders to keep moving. They even come with integrated guided exercises for fitness and relaxation.

They also perform an impressive array of productivity functions, essentially offering their lucky wearers the luxury of being completely up to speed on their work and social life, all from the display of one gleamingly obvious status symbol conveniently situated on their wrist.

These watches are also the only wearables on the market thus far which feature fully-integrated cellular data. They can, therefore, act as standalone smartphone replacements.

And of course, all this whizzbangery comes with a price tag to match. Prices start at $350 and rapidly go north from there. Still, if your wallet can handle it, the Apple Watch 4 and the Galaxy Watch LTE are amazing pieces of tech, the sheer breadth of their expansive feature-set eclipsing anything else on the market.

Fitbit Ionic ($250)

But let’s set our sights on dedicated fitness trackers, starting with the already iconic.

As you probably know, Fitbit has been around for a long time. The company was among the first to conceive of the idea of wearable sports tech, and their sleek, dependable products remain at the forefront of premium quality tracker technology today.

Beyond tracking your heart rate and physical activity, the Ionic offers a very slick, full-screen display, on-screen workouts and auto-exercise recognition. It also comes with GPS and on-device music storage, making it pretty much perfect for any kind of outdoor exercise like jogging or hiking.

Is it the Apple Watch 4 killer it was made to be?

Well, that remains debatable. It definitely wins for price and multi-platform compatibility (a feature you’ll never find in an Apple product, for obvious reasons!) but it lacks the Apple Watch’s integrated native cellular and vast ecosystem of supporting apps.

Brass tacks: the Fitbit Ionic offers exceptional value. It comes bristling with great tech and functionality but with a significantly reduced price tag compared to its luxuriously appointed rivals.

Fitbit Charge 3 ($130)

Sticking with the Fitbit ecosystem, for the time being, let’s wander toward the budget end of the tech aisle to look at the.

Now full disclosure here. If we were reviewing the Fitbit Charge two years ago, it’d be a no-brainer for the perfect balance of affordability versus solid, usable fitness tracking features. And don’t get us wrong. It’s still a great tracker.

Sure it has a smaller screen, but it can still hook you up with an invaluable stream of health data, and of course, it’s a budget gateway to the truly awesome Fitbit app.

But you won’t get on screen workouts. It’s completely tethered to your phone. And music or other cool apps? Forget it. The Fitbit Charge 3 will be perfect for some home athletes, but as you’ll soon discover, it faces some pretty tough competition.

Amazfit BIP ($80)

Which brings us to the Amazfit BIP. First up, that $80 price tag you see up there? That’s not a typo.

An important thing to mention about the Amazfit as a fitness tracker is its battery life. This thing is a little powerhouse and can give you 30 days of average use on a single charge. To give you a sense of how crazily efficient that is, the Fitbit Charge 3 gives you about 7 days.

The thing is, you’re not even sacrificing a feature set for battery life!

This watch comes with a color touch display, GPS and a barometer, along with all the usual suspects of heart rate tracking, activity monitoring and sleep tracking. In fact, if you held this watch alongside the Apple Watch to do a feature comparison, the Amazfit BIP would undoubtedly have more ticks than blanks.

As of early 2019, 50 million units have sold and the Amazfit brand now has over 15% global market share. This little number is definitely the best value out there, and we reckon it will be for some time.

A Quick Nod to Some Minimalist Trackers

To round out this list, we wanted to give a quick nod to more minimalist trackers. These display and interface-free devices are built around a different design principle — less is more — so comparing them to the above devices is apples and oranges. Let’s take a quick look at two interesting options.

Motiv Ring ($200)

The is … well … just that. A ring. Shocking, right?

This device literally looks like a piece of stylish yet nondescript jewelry. Within its gleaming carapace, it has just enough technology to measure your sleep, track your steps and monitor your heart rate. All up, it gives you a good, general overview (via an app) of how your health is doing.

It’s probably too blunt an instrument for anyone seriously into health metrics, but if you’re looking for a stylish alternative and are content with a bit less data, it’s worth looking at.

Amazfit Equator ($50)

The has a similar feature set to the Motiv Ring, but as you can see comes in at a quarter of the cost.

Housed within a stylish looking bracelet, its fitness techno juju also provides just enough data to keep an eye on your health — steps taken, calories burned and your sleep patterns. You can even hook it up to your phone, configuring it to send you silent vibration alerts when notifications and alarms come in.

Again, for stylish minimalism on a budget, no other brand is really approaching Amazfit right now. The Equator is a great option if you want a little bit of health data in a subtle, stylish package.

If there’s one conclusion we can draw from this impressive lineup of metric manufacturing marvels, it’s that the war for fitness tracker supremacy will rage on for the foreseeable future. If graphs and data are your thing, there are some pretty spiffy options out there whatever your budget.

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The Ultimate Fitness Tracker Showdown