#did I expect to be recommending a Monster High book on here? No

[makingqueerhistory]

A Fright to Remember (Monster High School Spirits #1)

Adrianna Cuevas

The Monster High ghouls are back and more spooktacular than ever in this all-new, original middle grade series set in the world of Nickelodeon's animated show and written by Adrianna Cuevas! As Monster High prepares for its annual talent show, Frankie Stein is left wondering what they could perform. When Torelei Stripe mocks Frankie's music playing abilities, Frankie is left even more confused about which of their brain parts is exciting enough for the talent show. Luckily, Headmistress Bloodgood presents Frankie with new information about their brain that might hold the answer. Except Frankie discovers that their brain part is from a disgraced scientist accused of unethical experiments. Plagued by dreams from the scientist's life, Frankie teams up with Draculaura and Clawdeen to discover the truth about their past--and save Monster High in the process.

(Affiliate link above)

[burninglesbian]

I've written this review on letterboxd for the John Dies At The End movie (didn't really like it). I thought I would post it here as well in case people wanna add or disagree with something :)

It's not the worst movie-adaption, yet it's far from good. It's not really a John Dies At The End and more of a Jeff Passes Away After The Third Act.

The acting is fine. The two mains that play John and Dave have good chemistry and play their dynamic well.

The cinematography is decent on the surface-level but for a book as crazy and trippy as this one, it’s too simple. Even the scenes where Dave is high on the soy sauce it just looks a bit too regular and average. When the sauce material has monsters, alternate universes and sentient drugs that bend time and space you have the opportunities to be creative with the camera work. Sadly that opportunity wasn’t used.

The writing: I can’t give the movie much credit because pretty much all of the scenes are word-for-word copies of scenes in the book.

Practical and visual effects: While the third act looks truly cheap and cheesy, everything that comes before that is quite good for a low budget film. While not all the creatures look like the way they were described in the book, they seemingly use practical effects for the monsters for the most part, which I adore.

Comparing it to the book, however, truly highlights all its flaws. I was expecting some of the book stuff to be cut because a 500 pages long book doesn’t fit into 90 minutes. But I was negatively surprised to find out that two thirds of the book has been cut. Two of the best thirds, to be exact. And the things we did get were focused on the wrong things. While the book is hilarious, what makes it stand out so much was the perfect balance of horror and comedy. At times you feel like crying from laughter, and then you need to take a moment to breathe after the tension. Sometimes even at the same time. The movie was pure comedy and didn’t once try to be a genuine horror story, unlike its bookish counterpart. They have cut every scene that caused genuine tension and terror.

On top of that it feels like the movie didn’t understand that the story also explores deeper themes and can get dark and serious at times. The prologue scene is the perfect example of that missing understanding. The prologue, the funny take on the ship of Theseus philosophy, is a funny way to start the book and introduce us to the writing and the humour but overall doesn’t have anything to do with the rest of the story. Except that it does, because it’s direct foreshadowing to the terrifying final plot twist. Well, the movie started the same way, with the direct adaption of the funny ship of Theseus philosophy, only that the ending doesn’t include the gut wrenching plot twist. Why? Because apparently, the book lost the film makers whenever it got slightly beyond “funny monster shenanigans”.

The dry two-dimensional characters from the movie are also very frustrating. John is the funny frat-boy and Dave is the straight guy, that much they got right. The fact that they are so much more than that, and that John has a genuinely good heart while Dave has a very dark and twisted side to him, is nowhere to be found. And how come they merge the two female main characters into one (another questionable choice), and she still doesn’t have any personality? They managed to copy every scene directly from the book and still make it a badly written story just by the choice of what to keep and what not to keep. Which is a talent in itself, considering the book got away with so much bullshit.

Overall the movie is a very cheesy b-movie with questionable pacing and unexplained lore. It’s fine if you like that kind of stuff and is definitely not the worst thing I have watched. But if you’re looking for a good adaption for the book John Dies At The End this is not it.

Would I recommend the book to someone? 100%. Would I recommend the film to someone? Only if they really like cheesy b-movies. Would I recommend the book to someone and then the movie afterwards? No.

[fantasticalleigh]

October scary movie review roundup:

I decided to really put forth an effort to celebrate this being Halloween month by watching as many horror films as I can. requirements aren't too strict but i'm only counting movies that are new to me, not old favorites. youtube has a ton of movies for free so i've been sifting through those and found some decent ones. if anyone has any good recommendations please lmk!

(i'm not like a huge slasher/gore fan but i don't mind it if it isn't in excess in a film, which crosses out a ton lol. i'm unfortunately squeamish about that stuff but i've always prefered thrillers/psychological horror and stuff of that ilk anyway. )

list of films watched so far:

-The Terror (Netflix)

(actually started this last month, nearly done with it so i won't rate it yet. acting is great, but the CGI of the monster is kind of bad imo)

-Grave Encounters (Free on YT)

i love a good found footage film. this one was a pleasant surprise but too predictable. acting was good, ending was unsatisfying. 5/10

-The Haunting (Free on YT)

didn't know this was an adaptation of The Haunting of Hill House until it started, hated the changes they made. but it did solve a long childhood mystery of mine: once as a kid my fam and i went furniture shopping and this movie was playing on a huge tv. i paid attention to it only for a minute and saw the scene where Nell sees her reflection's pregnancy belly growing (for context Nell herself wasn't pregnant) and screams in terror and runs away and then i walked away. never knew it was from this movie but always wondered. mystery solved!) CGI wasn't terrible most of the time but when it was bad, it was bad. i hate what they did to the characters, hate the changes from the source material (wtf was that bedroom SA scene??? ...was the ceiling going to impregnate her???) all the iconic moments from the book that were added to the movie felt like flimsy afterthoughts. marcia gay harden, i can believe as Nell. Catherine Zeta Jones, I can believe as Theodora. Liam Neeson as the doctor, sure. Why the fuck is Owen Wilson in this. (3/10. watched on youtube.)

-Hell House LLC (Youtube)

another pleasant found footage surprise. i really enjoyed this one and will most likely watch again. good/decent acting and the suspense did get to me, particularly in the scenes with the basement/rising tension in the cast/clown statue. The found footage thing is most genuine here, where in the following sequels it feels hamfisted and not as genuine bc everyone and their mom is doing a fucking documentary or news bit on the hotel. also a bit predictable but they nailed the suspense and the buildup to the climax was pretty well done. CGI not good but briefly used at the end, didn't bother me like it did in the sequels. 8.5/10

-Hell House LLC-The Abbadon Hotel /Hell House LLC-Lake of Fire (Also free on YT)

notably worse than the original. acting was especially bad in The Abbadon Hotel. Both films suffer from "we-don't-trust-our-viewers" syndrome where they insert so many freaking flashbacks to the original that it feels insulting they don't expect the audience to remember what happened before. flashbacks could make up a good third of both movies. hated most of the cast for The Abbadon Hotel but Lake of Fire was much better. The actor for Tully was awful in all three movies. CGI was terrible but sparsely used, at least. Both movies relied on the creepy clown gimmick way too much which felt like a huge waste considering the setting is a demonic/haunted hotel full of other potential props/settings that could've been used more for a good scare. the ending to the trilogy as a whole was fine. Abbadon gets a 2.5/10 and Lake of Fire gets 5.5. I would def watch Lake of Fire again but Abbadon was a slog.

-In the Tall Grass (Netflix)

this has been on my netflix queue for YEARS and i literally only just watched it last night. based off a Stephen King work and I love SK so I had high hopes and wasn't let down. I haven't read the novella but this was a good movie on its own. normally i don't like time-loops as a plot device but it worked really well here and the acting was good. patrick wilson is a sleeper fave of mine, he was great in this and i've never seen him in such a charismatic to super super creepy role before so he nailed it although when that scene hit i was literally cringing away from my laptop. the child actor in this is also really good, i felt for him at the end. would definitely watch this again and i'm interested in the book now. really good suspense/acting/soundtrack. i like that they never fully explained the phenomenon behind the giant black rock/ time fuckery in the tall grass or the mysterious alien grass people. IMO horror works best sometimes when it is left to the audience's imagination or when there's gaps left empty in the lore. 8/10.

-Barbarian (Hulu)

i've been really interested in this for years but never got around to watching it bc i don't like sitting in movie theaters and i'm slow to gettting to new media. but i knew zach cregger from his days in the WKUK and loved that and had heard good things about this. (also apparently he's developing a new Resident Evil movie or something now?? I'm excited.) these days i don't/rarely watch full movie trailers because they give so much away so i tend to want to go in fresh. i've avoided full spoilers for this movie up till now aside from some vague mentions of stuff so i knew there was a certain theme in the movie. overall it was solid, really tense first half with that red herring and really good acting from the female lead, i don't recall her name. when act two came on i was genuinely shocked and thought the website had glitched out or something, wasn't expecting that.

Last Podcast on the Left just did a series on Josef Fritzl (huge trigger warning if you decide to look him up) and that case must have heavily inspired the movie because there were a lot of parallels I couldn't help but notice. Overall fairly disturbing but I do wish the ending was a little different. I like the significance of what happens but idk, felt like it needed a little something more. Even one line of dialogue could have bolstered that, because I know Tess was thinking it but I needed to hear her say it to REDACTED.

(and what happened to REDACTED'S body? he's never shown again. did the REDACTED eat it? was he buried? did i miss something?)

-The Fourth Kind (free on YT)

awful. awful. awful. maybe one truly scary moment. the ending was bullshit. acting was whatever. too much screeching audio and my ears can't handle that. this movie is always being hyped online as so intense and scary yet i couldn't stop rolling my eyes. huge disappointment. 2/10 and that's me being generous.

--The Omen (1976) (Hulu)

admittedly i watched this when i was a kid but i barely remember it so it counts. sound mixing was fucking awful, for starters. dialogue is a whisper yet the soundtrack (heavy on ominous chanting in latin and screaming and spooky music) is SO damn loud i kept having to raise and lower the volume. a good flick for its time, i guess, but I couldn't get into it. If there's a more modern version I might check it out. Gregory Peck is always a treat but man, I got so mad when he's safe in Rome and he calls his wife, who's in mortal peril with a half body cast and alone in a hospital, to meet with his contact and fly to him in Rome. You couldn't go get her yourself?? You just condemned her, idiot, and you knew she was gonna die. For fuck's sake. Then he has the nerve to get all droopy and sad when he gets the call like five minutes later that she's fucking dead. Not scary. Suspense is killed by goofy spooky music. Gregory Peck's silver-fox hotness is offset by his character's stupid reticence to believe the facts before him until it’s too late. 3/10.

-The Inkeepers (Peacock)

i didn't hate it but i also didn't love it. i love anything about a haunted house or a haunted hotel, and this one being a haunted hotel sounded intriguing but ultimately it felt like it fumbled itself over and over. kind of boring, tbh? really unsatisfying ended even if it was a bit gutsy to kill the main character. sorry for spoilers here but i don't think anyone's gonna race to watch this one lol. i'd never heard of this movie until it got recommended to me. didn't realize lena dunham was an exec producer on this until the credits rolled. 3/10

[umichenginabroad]

Stockholm Week 16: Tate McRae in Stockholm!  

It was my second to last week in Stockholm. I can’t believe that it’s time for me to go back to the US already.  It feels like I’ve been here for two months now… I still have so much more to try and enjoy ;-;

The weather is beautiful now: it ranges from the high 40s to the low 70s but the sun makes it feel like mid 70s! 

4/30 Tue: Cherry Blossoms in Kungsträdgården 

On Tuesday, I had a group presentation for Crime Fiction. We presented a rewrite of the book that we read, The Legacy, for 20 minutes. 

After class, I went to ICA nearby and bought ice cream as a small treat for myself :))

Coca-cola popsicle❤️

Ranting about the cherry blossoms for a few days did bore fruit: we went to see the cherry blossoms in Kungsträdgården.         

Walking on a street full of cherry blossoms was on my bucket list for the longest time – being able to check it off the list in Stockholm was a wonderful experience. They were fully bloomed and the streets were fully packed too. 

I could see happiness  

On top of the cherry blossoms, I got to go out on a nice dinner for my friend’s birthday. We went to Florentine, a popular Italian restaurant in Stockholm.

Their signature drink Florentine on the Beach was fire🔥

The walk back to my house was a new experience due to the sight of hundreds of people wearing the same white marine hat. Apparently, it is a high school graduation tradition where all the graduating seniors where the hat and celebrate after school. Even the way back home was interesting! 

I also spotted wildflowers on the streets on the way back home (I swear they weren’t there before).

Small things make me smile :) 

Tuesday was a day packed with joy! 

5/1 Wed: Food Trial

My friends and I checked out this Korean fried chicken place! We made a reservation for 5 people but had to wait an hour until the food came out… The taste wasn’t what I expected either🥲 Wouldn’t necessarily recommend but they did try their chicken well! 

Monster chicken 

5/2 Thu: TATE MCRAE 

The big day has come – I completely forgot about the Tate McRae concert until a couple of days ago and I got extremely excited since then.ᐟ.ᐟ.ᐟ 

But before the concert: I woke up early (10 am) to do my laundry and saw this beautiful scenery outside the window. 

Our garden is the best no cap < 3

I dressed up both for my final poster presentation for the Engineering Sustainable Environments in Scandinavia core course AND the concert because I had no time to change. 

I was originally planning to miss the last class dinner, but (1) the class ended early and (2) I was convinced by free food. The burger place we went to was the building right next to DIS, so it didn’t consume much time either. 

The burger with sweet potato fries (it was gas) on top of Briska pear cider (I love that thing) was the best combination I could think of. 

Group pic!

I sprinted out of the restaurant not too late after my friends (already at the concert) asked me where I was.  

I made it in time to Avicii Arena: I stood in the line for a good amount of time and went through security relatively quickly.

Once I went inside, I moved upstairs and my friends followed my lead. We had a better view! 

The concert started with Charlieonafriday, who performed for about thirty minutes. He was a very good singer and a rapper! Low key a fan now. 

The intermission after the opening was 45 minutes, and we were doubting if Tate McRae was lost or something. Thankfully, she came out and we enjoyed a full hour of her performance. 

My personal favorites were greedy, exes, and you broke me first. And wow she could dance for real. 

I did not want it to end :((

5/3 Fri

On Friday, I perfected my oral exam script for Swedish. My partner and I pulled together and memorized a 5-minute speech in Swedish with good pronunciation :)  

We were constantly getting 5 minutes and 30 seconds on practices, but when we actually did the exam it somehow got shortened to 5 minutes. 

Nevertheless, it was a success! 

After our exam, we could leave early, so I went thrifting as a treat for myself. I was on a mission to find a brown leather jacket, but it did not happen :(  I do not think it’s happening anytime soon either… 

I almost bought the rabbit version but I stopped myself 

I took a little detour to a park next to our apartment. Cherry blossoms and wildflowers prompted everyone (AND PUPPIES) to come out! 

Spring is making me an outdoorsy person :)

The views from the garden in front of our apartment! I relaxed and absorbed the sunlight for a bit. 

The next post will be devoted to my time in Italy. 

I’ll see you later!

Hey då,

Jiwoo Kim 

Chemical Engineering

DIS Study Abroad in Stockholm, Sweden

[blysse-and-blunder]

first commonplace book of 2023

monday, january 9, 2023 ~ 6:30pm pst

back ‘at home’ (parents’ place) after a lil trip to see family, during which our flight was cancelled (us and the rest of the world) and we consequently got to spend a total of like 48 hours in the car roundtrip. new year’s at the shore was nice though, and so was roadtrip tunes and reading aloud and the very epic puzzle the family completed.

reading i’m juggling a couple of hot library loans right now, trying to finish them before the loan periods expire while also balancing each one’s tone and vibe etc. so it’s the monster baru cormorant (seth dickinson) when i wake up, maybe you should talk to someone (lori gottlieb) during the day, and the last graduate (naomi novik) at bedtime, in what is a really weird stylistic and emotional smorgasbord now that i look at it... insights and observations to come later when i can focus on one specifically. also, big shoutout to the free knidle download of lord peter wimsey mysteries i already had, and to dorothy l. sayers’ way with words and her ridiculous delightful sweet fop of an amateur detective (and no i don’t mean benoit) who collects medieval manuscripts and quotes poetry every so often mid-sentence while periodically having intense wwi ptsd. every generation needs their fruity little detective, it’s a keystone species. reading this aloud to my mom in the car kept us both awake and discussing things like clues and the picture this paints of things like  early 20th century london society’s antisemitism and train system and newspaper/ print culture.

watching just went back to check the previous ilcb and while i did mention this show, i didn’t feature it specifically so: three pines, based on the louise penny novel series of the same name, now streaming on prime. my mom loves the books, and now we’re all loving the show, and alfred molina is absolutely loving this role he gets to play (and it shows). you may feel that the premise of ‘small cute town full of local characters where murders keep happening’ has been done already, and you’d be right, but there’s something about seeing quebec on screen like this-- and the indigenous community’s strong presence from the first scene of the first episode-- that feels different, and important. the music design and landscape are great, the themes are very honest even when details or plot twists (the whodunnit of episodes 1 and 2, and the tragic twist at the end of ep 2) end up feeling a little exaggerated. here are some good articles about the show’s attempts to center indigenous voices, bring topics like residential school violence and indigenous treatment by police to international audiences, and (arguable, but i respect them for the attempt) avoid white saviorism.

also, you may have deduced from the recent glass onion blogging that i did finally get to watch knives out 2 electric boogaloo.  things i liked about this movie: 1) the response to it/analyses of it/art and memes and edits which i can now enjoy having seen it (the one which observes that the movie itself is a fugue, seriously, i love how much everyone else has been loving this and it has made it so much better), 2) the celebrity cameos (yo-yo ma! hugh grant! stephen sondeheim!?) and watching janelle monae, 3) the visual palette and coloring and lighting and design choices, 4) PEG, 5) finding out at the end that it’s a beatles song reference. i think that i had seen just enough on my dash to have....overly high expectations in some regards, though not specific spoilers so i was still Not Expecting That.

listening got to play a bunch of my music in the car on the roadtrip, so here’s to my mom deciding she likes orville peck (more than hozier!? who is apparently too sad) and my dad enjoying basia bulat’s the garden, and here’s to all the audiobooks, and audiobook recommendations i got from friends, which i gathered optimistically pre-trip and still haven’t finished. so far i’m really enjoying t.j. klune’s through the whispering door (read by kirt graves), which feels both like a more mature and creative venture than his first book and which this narrator is doing a delightful job of (i think the sense of whimsy comes through better when mediated by narrator, it infuses depth/warmth/nuance into details that i think on their own might have rubbed me the wrong way).

and today i just finished listening to jeannette mccurdy’s i’m glad my mom died, which is a harrowing memoir but also was so riveting. she reads it herself, and again having her specific voice and delivery of some of the dialogue was so, so necessary and heartbreaking and occasionally hilarious, it really adds to the experience. major trigger warnings on this one for descriptions (detailed, visceral) of disordered eating, various mental health problems, alcohol abuse, child abuse, and painstaking personal growth. big shoutout to @dimir-charmer​ for recommending this one, i was immediately hooked, you were so right.

playing stardew year three, and i’ve bought a bouquet. her art exhibit was so nerdy, i loved it. just waiting for the right time to pop the question ❤️ (probably after my next house upgrade)(is this delaying a sign of cold feet, or just wanting to only offer her the best?? i’ve already got 8 hearts it’s probably fine but ahhhhh) 

i’ve also figured out (kinda) how to run celeste on this laptop! and immediately threw my poor sweet girl onto many, many icy spikes. again. and again. this one is not a keyboard game, friends, i’m trying lots of different key configurations to try and make it one but i think at the end of the day we’re going to need a controller of some kind. beautiful though.

making spent a lot of yesterday selecting and writing new year’s cards while discovering the power of the background seinfeld marathon, alkj;lkjalskdg asd and i have other art and or craft plans afoot since having been presented with a calligraphy pen and some good paper. baked a gazillion molasses cookies before the trip, but have otherwise just been sort of coasting on creative things lately.

working on threw together a haphazard conference proposal as a way to make myself work on chapter four, and after spending all day staring at it finally just sent it off with the same idea i’d had days ago (but which i thought if i tried hard enough i might be able to improve on. alas.) otherwise, still chugging on recommendation letter (ah) and reading friend’s chapters (ahh) and coming up with things to say for that thing in february (AH) and RAship hours. we’re back to the grind, baby.

[semper-legens]

77. Godkiller, by Hannah Kaner

Owned: No, library Page count: 288 My summary: Kissen wants one thing, and one thing only. The death of the gods - the gods to whom she was going to be sacrificed as a child, the gods who technically saved her life, the gods who took everything from her. Elogast is a baker who has put his life as a knight far behind him, until the king comes calling to ask a favour. And all Inara wanted was to understand why she is bound to a god of white lies, and what mysteries lie in her background. It was fate that brought them together...but what trials will they face? My rating: 3.5/5 My commentary:

Killing gods. Really, what else do you need to draw you to a book? I love fantasy, I love gods and monsters, and I love humans with the guts to stand up to something infinitely more powerful than themselves and say hey, you're doing something wrong and I'm going to stop you. This was recommended by a coworker, and I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but I literally picked this one up mostly on the strength of that cover. Hey, it's a good cover. So anyway, expectations were high for this book. Did it disappoint? No! I enjoyed it quite a bit.

Our characters here are Kissen, who survived being a sacrifice as a child and wanted to kill gods in revenge, Elogast, who fought for his king in the God Wars and has since become a baker, and Inara, the secret child of a noblewoman who is bonded to a small god of white lies. They're all strong characters and balance each other pretty well; Kissen's core of strength and mistrusting nature, Elo's determination to save the man he loves, and Inara's childlike stubbornness and faith in her own abilities. The narration switches between their points of view and Inara's god, offering a different look at similar scenes. Each character has parts of the story and world missing from their perspective, simply because it's not something they've yet encountered or they're working on less information. Which sometimes leads to the reader being better-informed than the characters, or more able to guess what's going on, which is interesting.

The world is revealed in small bites - I don't recall any lengthy exposition in this book, just glimpses hinting at a wider history here and there brought up by several of the characters. The God War, for example, is shown only in brief flashes when characters remember certain events or talk about aspects of it. It's an interesting approach to worldbuilding, though I have to say that early on, I got confused easily, as characters referred to ideas and words I had not yet been exposed to. Thankfully, however, this lessened as the story went on. The world painted by this book is a really cool one, a twisted landscape that has recently survived a war against impossible odds, filled with small and large gods and the people who worship them, despite that being illegal. There's so much history and depth hinted at here, it really leaves you wanting more.

As for the storytelling itself, I did have some quibbles with the way the narrative and characters progressed. Kissen and Elo's relationship, for example, was a very straightforward rivals-to-lovers situation, and the hints towards their relationship developing in this way were hardly subtle. There was also that dodgy plot device where the characters think they've been betrayed around the end of the second act - specifically, when they find out that Elo's on a mission from the king. It isn't quite as annoying as I usually find this trope, but I still could have done without it, you know? None of this was enough to spoil my overall enjoyment of this book, though, and I'll definitely be looking for sequels when they come out!

Next, the story of a boy and a gem.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

@jushiro-ukitake replied to your post “Could you review the locked tomb books by tamysn muir? I’m interested in your thoughts on it! It’s one of my favorite series...”

Wow frank! I’ve read all three books but I don’t remember the character named Floornight! My favorite characters are Gideon and Harrowhark. I also love Cam and Pal! I thought the books were about necromancy and space :o

It's the third one, by the way -- the first one's The Bloody Chamber, and the second one's Daughter of Smoke and Bone. Those are the main novels of the series, and the others take place in the same world, in a sort of "aftermath" of them. The plot of the first one is very involved and I don't recommend it without at least some prior knowledge of the world.

Here's what the first one is about:

In a world where magic is real, a baby is conceived which is half-human and half-monster. In a world where monsters and vampires and other monsters are real, the world has become overrun with them.

What is the nature of the "monster" which will be responsible for ending the "monster apocalypse?" Is this creature as monstrous as the things which it destroys?

And here are some more quotes, from a couple books further down in the series:

MARTIN:

You did not expect me.

The others, Harrow and Gideon, turned towards the new voice, and in their shock and confusion I saw a dozen different looks flit over their faces. Martin is new enough to his role that I could not see much of him, at this stage. I have, of course, become accustomed to the various looks of the others, and I expected these various reactions to be fairly simple, though complex in Harrow's case, to deal with, and they were not. Harrow did not expect the others to call upon my name, but she was too confused to see anything but "the new voice" before it, and after she became aware of what she saw of the others, she did not obey the new voice, because she could not see the new voice, until Martin was speaking to her and his name was called upon, and even then it was not followed, so confused was she by the number of looks I saw flash over Harrowhark's face as the others turned towards their "expectation" of Martin, of the "newborn human" who is half-human, half-monster. A look of fear in Harrow's face I could almost swear to, as Gideon and Harrow, both in shock, turned towards us, and even before I saw that look in Harrow's eyes, I knew it was the beginning of the end for Harrow, for the world, for humanity -- it was only the beginning for Gideon.

And the first sentence here, from the original novel:

"There are monsters out there in the world."

There is a man and a woman and a baby in a house, and an entire continent and a set of strange, distant people beyond the horizon, of whom they know nothing, and it is winter. There is a fire in the kitchen, which might or might not have burned the whole house, and the world is in flame.

It is the year we start our story, the year in which Gideon and her family left the College on the Plain, to search for Harrow the Saint, for Harrow the bloody rose, who could make or break the world.

Now, for my reasons for liking this book so much:

This book is about the nature of the "monster" who will end the "monster apocalypse"; and by various means, it shows us that "monster."

This book is very weird, at times, I think because of its focus on a sort of "science" which I, personally, tend to have a hard time with -- and, if I am being honest with myself, I probably wouldn't have read the book were it not for my own experiences with science (I think, the last one of many in a long line of novels about that "science" school I hated in high school, etc).

But it's not like it's about science. It's not as if "it is about science in much the same way we could see science as being about the last 400 years of the Western intellectual tradition."

The book is not written by someone who is like us. It's not written by someone who has that much "weird outsider" baggage (as I mentioned, I know a number of such people).

It is written by someone who participated in the scientific revolution in large, complex ways. Some of the "weird outsiders" whose views are described in this book were, for instance, "weird outsiders" because they were in fact "un-woke" at the time of writing. They had never been in contact with the "olden world" of inspiration, of the story itself. The book's authors were "well-rounded" people.

The book presents itself as "about" "science" because it seems to present itself to readers as being about science.

The character named "Floorlight" in the book is named after a person who participated in this "science" movement in "great detail." Indeed, you could argue that she is in some sense responsible for the way the world appears to work.

Here are some quotes about this book from fans:

What was the final straw that finally made me say that I could never be a scientist, and I've always hated the idea of science? Well, for one thing, Floornight was the thing that finally made me admit that I could never be a scientist. And I've always hated the idea of science itself, because it always seemed to me the dream of mankind to try to discover what was out there, to see the world's logic, and to have some way to control it, even if only in imagination and never really in the real sense that we have today. [...]

Of course, I can see why people would relate to it; as I've said before, it feels very abstract, almost like a science fiction setting, which is in some sense about science. [...]

[...]

Of course there are lots of reasons why people like it, and a lot of the reasons are to do with it being like this book. It's the story of what's out there, in the way of things, a sort of monster. That's all, in the way of a monster. Not a good or good one, just a monster.

I'd say the main theme of these books is some sort of idea about "science," and about "human" beings, who try to "ground" reality and their "logics" in various ways, like "saying it" or "making" things. It's a theme that the books themselves play with, that seems kind of "synthesized" by them in the way their protagonist, Harrow, is. (See below.)

The very universe, it seems, has been created, in ways that scientists could not

comprehend, and now it is overrun by "monsters" and other

"creatures" that science "could not comprehend." I can understand

why people writing from this perspective would write a book about

What is the nature of the "monster"

which will be responsible for ending

the "monster" apocalypse?"

[…]

The books are sort of a "sort of" fanfic of each other (each book being told in the "voice" of the others), sort of with some sort of overall plot connecting them, a bit like "The Bloody Chamber." But I'm definitely "into" the kind of books this isn't about, and a lot of what's written about it (that sort of story) seems like it comes from this kind of material.

Harrowhark (by the way) has a "nest of six vampire half-breed vampires" living in the house that they call "Daughter," whose mother, Camazelia, is "the worst of them.

It is the beginning of the end of the world as we know it. A young man named Martin was conceived half-human and half-monster, and all the monsters of the world were in the streets.

For one night I saw the first few pages of this story, and immediately thought, "Oh, yeah."

[takato1993]

Whoops almost forgot after October I decided to post short movie review on here for each months movies I watch

Novembers list will be much shorter and much worse than Octobers i don't know if it is bad luck or it is just that i lost just wasn't feeling it most of November.

I will format it so that it is readable this time i promise. expect some small spoilers

Class of Nuke em High 3/10

I watched a couple of Troma movies and enjoyed them during October this is where that luck ended.

It had some fun 80s punk aesthetics and the monster design was not bad in the end

but I don't recommend this one

Book Of Monsters 6/10

Book of Monsters is about a girl whos mother was killed by monsters when she was younger and it turns out she was a monster hunter with a whole book about those monsters and their weaknesses

and then they never utilize this plot device to it's potential if they did some fairy tale like passages or rhymes out of the book describing the lore of each monster this movie it would have taken this movie to the next level.

the monster designs are hit and miss but mostly hits and good ones at that.

Jabberwocky 6/10

I went into this one pretty blind I must admit I was not expecting it to be an early Monty Python movie.

It is not as comical or well put together as Holy Grail but it is honestly a legitimately decent fantasy movie and it should be on more fantasy movie lists people are missing out on this one.

there is someone shitting or pissing in almost every scene.

Beyond Re-Animator 7/10

i finished the trilogy and I enjoyed it. once again this series provides very good practical effects

I won't spoil much but some rat dna gets into the mix with the formula to revive the dead and while no one physically turns into a big rat monster but I think it still adds a lot of fun to this movie

Herbert West gets a new sidekick that should know better than to work with this man.

apparently there are more movies in the series but eh...

SPOILERS- I watched the mid/after credits scene with the rat fighting the animated severed penis and it is less gross than you imagine and so fun it honestly makes the whole movie on it's own.

Digging Up The Marrow 6/10

a documentary style Horror movie where they interview a suspicious elderly man about an underground city of monsters he believes exists

this movie makes some fun stylistic choices and is surprisingly compelling.

Phantasm III and V 6/10

I watched more of the Phantasm series that was available at the time it seems Tubi has uploaded more since but I already watched it way out of order

anyway tho the budget gets lower and the acting worse this series still offers good practical effects and an intimidating villain

Possum 4/10

Chillerama N/A

I could not finish this one and I will not recommend this Horror/comedy compilation

It is designed to be edgy and offensive

on the plus side most of what i saw was well made and had good designs.

this is the movie with the sexy dancing statue of liberty theres a gif of it here on tumblr

has a literal sperm whale

Slumber 4/10

a movie about a doctor helping a family deal with a parasitic nightmare demon

tbh that description seems inaccurate and she seems like a bad doctor.

i could not finish this one and here is my warning on that

CONTAINS- a person sticking there hand in a blender ( no injury) and one brutal animal death scene all for shock value.

Wicked City 6/10

I went into this one expecting a bloody 80s horror anime with a bunch of nudity

but I think It is more like a heavily christian themed hentai but if Christianity was about psychic powers and creating peace through monster fucking

most of the sex scenes are meant to horrify not titillate and not because of the monster fucking that is unrelated.

contains a very annoying version of master Roshi from Dragonball

I know this all sounds bad and like i hate the movie but it does have very good art

The Bone Snatcher 5/10

Hawk The Slayer 5/10

this was a passable fantasy movie and it is likely the last major sword and sorcery movie from the 80s that i will see I might track a few more down but thats is mostly extra now.

the story, the acting, the costuming and the practical effects budget are all just for the most part not very good

This is a typical fantasy where warriors from the various fantasy races come together to defend against evil we have two humans, an elf, a dwarf, and a giant but the budget is low so they mostly just look like normal humans with normal height differences

But I do enjoy the witch character and this movie features one of my low key favorite actors Peter O'Farrel who other notable fantasy roles include one of the goblins in Legend and motherfucking ODO from the Darkest Knight

I recommend watching those movies if you haven't seen them and probably watching the Darkest Knight series which i have not done yet

Hellarious 7/10

I recommend seeing this horror comedy compilation instead of chillerama.

there are 7 stories they are all very simple and lower budget but I guarantee at least one of them will suit every horror taste

I like the first couple stories best anyway go in blind don't spoil this one.

Class of 1999 7/10

Return to Horror High 5/10

gonna be honest I couldn't follow the plot of this one.

Aenigma 4/10

it was bold of this movie to start with the protagonist being bullied by like 15 people at once until they accidentally put her in a coma and then expect us to not side with her supernatural revenge

tho here methods for taking that revenge were very strange.

I wish this movie was as cool as the post/cover makes it look

Phenomena 5/10

this one is about a girl with a psychic connection with insects which she uses to solve murders and intimidate her bullies which seem to include almost everyone.

the people in this movie act very strange I think it might be an issue with script translating the scipt.

the insect power does not play as big of a role as they should and are mostly about flies and maggots which I do understand since they are all real insects which was very ambitious and must have taken a lot of time and attempts just to get those insects to do what they wanted

this movie has a chimp that did bite the leading actress and that did not need to happen this movie did not need a chimp.

Zombie Strippers 5/10

this movie is exactly what you expect with the exception that it does include a hostile conservative takeover of the government

and the military is at fault for there being zombie strippers

if the comedy and horror elements of a movie about zombie strippers sounds like something you would like then watch it if it sounds like you would hate it then do not watch it, whatever your gut feeling for yourself on this one is you are correct

Robot Carnival 8/10

this was a beautiful anime movie compilation of stories all about robots it is pure art and at time pure nightmare

anyway going down the rabbit hole of artsy mostly forgotten old anime movies after this one.

2001 Maniacs 6/10

SPOILERS- a group of young tourists take a detour on their way to spring break and end up forced to except the hospitality of the very southern town they end up in after following this detour sign

anyway the towns people are all racist cannibals planning to kill the springbreakers

MATH + DEEP SPOILERS- the evil towsnfolks plan will take hundreds of years if no more than 6 people show up per year just saying

Evolution (2015) 4/10

watch 2001's American evolution movie instead of this they are unrelated but I am giving you my honest recommendation

Two Evil Eyes 6/10

not the best Edgar Allen Poe adaptation but it is a good one

Piranha Women 3/10

basically a low budget scifi channel movie, from the title you might expect a more traditional piranha fish people transformation and a lot of underwater scenes.....

but nope it is mostly on dry land and the women have piranha mouths on their breasts

Necromancer 3/10

imagine they took Hellraiser and took out all the beautiful practical effects away and decided it needed more uncomfortable late 70s style sex scenes like the one in Hellraiser we all forget about

but then also being almost SFW

ironically contains no real necromancy just a demon that can imitate people that make a deal with her but with nasty red hands

warning contains- 3 castrations and 1 rape scene

The Unnamable 5/10

The Neon dead 5/10

Mortal Engines 4/10

The Creeping Flesh 5/10

I remembered watching the second half of this movie and being very fascinated by it. but I fell asleep 3 times trying to watch it this time.

the Mutilator 5/10

a rare slasher where most of the victims and the slasher are nearly impossible to sympathize with

in true shooting fish in a barrel fashion the bad decisions of his victims lead to the slasher barely having to move until the last 20 minutes to kill most of the characters

[newbookcats]

I'm a Gay Wizard by V.S. Santoni | A Slow-Paced Gay Romance Book Attempts To Be A High-Stakes Magical Fantasy

You can read the full review here: https://newbookcatsreads.blogspot.com/2024/02/im-gay-wizard-by-vs-santoni-slow-paced.html

You try magic once and it sticks to you like glitter glue . . .When Johnny and his best friend, Alison, pass their summer holidays dabbling in magic, they never expect it to have consequences. Sure, it’d be great if they could banish bullies or change their lives for the better, and what harm could come from lighting a few candles and chanting a few spells? When they cause an earthquake that shakes Chicago to its core, they draw the attention of the Marduk Institute, an age-old organization dedicated to fostering the talents of young wizards.

Once there, Johnny and Alison are told they can never return to their previous lives, and must quickly adapt to a new world shimmering with monsters, fraternities, and cute boys like Hunter and Blake. But when they’re pulled into an epic, supernatural fight that could cost them both their lives, Johnny and Alison find strength they never knew they had as they battle for love, acceptance, and their own happy ending—all with the help of a little magic.

Discussion:

DNF - 20%

You can find hidden gems on Wattpad and fanfiction sites. For example, I loved A. V. Geiger's Follow Me Back when I read the duology several years ago, and my teenage years were spent crawling through The Hunger Games and Harry Potter fanfiction. Hence, I was excited to jump cannonball into a high-stakes magical fantasy book; however, I was quickly disappointed by Santoni's I'm a Gay Wizard. Trigger warnings: homophobia, bullying, kidnapping, assault

I don't know if a story can be 'too Wattpad' but this is. The magical aspects are not executed well nor are they explained at all. The pacing is inconsistent, in that some scenes are rushed through as quick, action-packed thrillers while others are snail-slow and leave a gooey residue everywhere. The romances feel cliche. However, I will give the book the benefit of the doubt since I did not read past 20%, so the instantaneous love possibly gets better. Also, the main character Johnny is unbelievably awkward and just so different from everyone else. Despite the age range for Johnny and his classmates to be 16-18-year-olds, the characters, except for possibly Johnny's best friend Allison, act like 12-year-olds, based on their limited communication skills and the number of times "freak" is used as an insult.

Moreover, there is also just a lot to unpack with the string of homophobic slurs and assaults targeted on the main characters, and I am not comfortable that no actions were taken to charge the assailants, particularly by the assaulted main characters or any of the bystanders at the busy mall where the assault takes place. This situation is not too realistic, especially as most events are recorded by observing phone cameras nowadays.

Last but certainly not least, the school that kidnaps Johnny and Allison also forbids good, tasty food. At least provide good food if you're kidnapping underage wizards! That should be common sense. From other reviews on Goodreads, this is a good story for some and not for others. I just am in the latter group, unfortunately.

Love,

newbookcats

What Wattpad stories were your favorite? Have you read Santoni's stories? If so, would you recommend them? What fantasies featuring own-voices LGBTQ+ romances would you recommend to a newb like me? Being a fanfiction lover from several years ago, what were your favorite fanfiction stories/subjects? Chat with me in the comment section below or via any of my social medias!

[dankhausen]

GCW: Amerikaz Most Wanted Review

I know I'm pretty late with this, but I just got around to watching it and wanted to share my thoughts. This was also my first GCW show, so there's a lot of people here I'm not familiar with and only a few that I am.

Overall, I really enjoy the commentary teams on this show (I say teams because I'm pretty sure people were swapped in and out of the booth, but I'm not positive on that). It's a really casual feel, almost like Hoodslam but a bit more serious.

The video packages are incredible on this show, the one explaining the Charles Mason/Effy feud was my personal favorite.

Thoughts on the card, match by match:

The six man scramble to start the show, I knew nobody here but it was fast paced and interesting.

Matt Cardona vs Starboy Charlie should've opened the show, in my opinion. I haven't seen any of Charlie's previous work but I was impressed, and I was blown away by Cardona's promo. This is how Impact should be booking the man.

The Triple Threat Match was what I was looking forward to the most, I'm a big fan of Masha Slamovich from her work on Impact and I've been following Hoodslam for a few months so I know Dark Sheik. There was some very innovative moves in this match, a personal favorite was Masha chokeslamming Sawyer Wreck off of the shoulders of Dark Sheik. This was probably my runner up for match of the night, and I can say now I'm also a Sawyer Wreck fan.

The six man tag... holy shit, the six man tag. Easily match of the night, I'd even put it as match of the year in all of wrestling period. I'm not familiar with any of the people involved, but man do I want to see more! Just the innovative moves from Komander, Gringo Loco with a catching top rope powerbomb, the flipping powerbomb... I could go on and on. Seriously, watch this match!

Joey Janela vs Pagano, I would say my reaction to this was pleasantly surprised. I never really cared for Janela in AEW which is where I know him from, so I wasn't expecting much going into the match. What I got was a solid hardcore match and a kickass entrance from the man- I'd be lying if I said I wasn't down for a rematch down the road.

Willie Mack vs Jimmy Lloyd was a bit of a let down, but then that might be because it followed two badass matches. I'm not familiar with either man, but Willie Mack's finisher is pretty badass.

Effy vs Charles Mason was incredible, both the video package and the match itself. I love Mason's look and the creepy way he wrestles, he's like this weird sexual monster and it works for him. Was also happy to see Allie Katch and Dark Sheik get involved, I'm looking forward to seeing Thrussy in action.

Los Mazisos vs RockNes Monsters, I don't know either team but I really enjoyed this one. Personal highlights for me were Yuma going full Looney Tunes with his "put 'em up, put 'em up" before fainting, and Yuma dropping his own partner through the door. Very funny, very badass.

Nick Gage vs Tony Deppen... man, what a straight up brawl. The match was great, the finish was amazing, I also really like the energy of Gage's entrance and how overly hype he gets for both it and his ring intro. Didn't know him before, but I'm a fan now.

El Hijo del Vikingo vs Blake Christian, I had to seek this match out on YouTube as it wasn't part of the broadcast but I'm glad I did. It's a really solid, high flying match- I was most impressed by the flipping dive to the outside Vikingo hit early on.

Overall, an incredible show and highly recommended.

[lynnie-ee]

I'll try with a Floyd request. Figure Floyd does male Yuu some small favor and expects one back in return. But to Yuu's shock its a pretty reasonable favor. Floyd really just wants Yuu to come to his basket ball games and practice. Figure it maybe ends with them agreeing to hang out more as friends.

╰┈➤"After being helped by the the infamous Floyd Leech, the prefect of Ramshackle is ready to sell his dorm and run away. Luckily for him, that won't be necessary."

╰►Male reader, oneshot, 1.4k words.

╰►Note: Thank you for requesting! <3 English is not my first language, so feel free to tell me if there's any grammatical mistake  💫

╰►Masterlist. (requests open)

⤿

“I wanna go baaack.”

“We won’t come back to the dorm unless you finish studying for the exams that we have next week. The sooner we start, the sooner we’ll be free from this.”

“You sure are a boring henchman.”

Grim groaned as he was dragged inside the library. His last exam results weren’t precisely the best in the class, and now he was facing the consequences.

“Come here and help me get the book from that shelf.” The prefect pointed at a rather high bookshelf for his height. Most of the good books were always out of his reach, so (Y/n) always asked the cat monster to get them for him with magic.

When he wanted to cooperate, of course.

“Get it by yourself, I won’t help you to torture me! I’ll do fine studying by myself.”

“Might I remind you that, in the last test ACE had a better grade than you? Ace, out of all people?”

“I don’t care!”

“Grim, you little…” The prefect groaned, already feeling stressed out by Grim’s behavior.

“Uh~ Shrimpy looks as cute as always while being angry! Did someone bother you~?”

(Y/n) could easily recognize that voice, so there was no surprise when he spotted Floyd Leech walking towards him.

“Not really. I’m just trying to make Grim study for History of Magic, but I can’t reach the bookshelf and he won’t collaborate with me.” He explained, sighing.

“That’s no problem! Which one is it?”

“The book with the golden cover…Yeah, that one.” The prefect nodded as the Octavinelle student took the large tome that professor Trein recommended in their last class. “Thank you so much, Floyd!”

“Sure thing. Hope you have fun studying with Baby Seal~” He smiled at Grim, who looked daggers at him. “But Azul always says that when you do a favor to someone, they have to do the same, or something like that. So, you owe me, Shrimpy!” He said with an unusual cheerfulness, as he left the library.

“Sorry?” The prefect asked out loud, mostly for themselves, as the second-year student wasn’t there anymore.

…

…

…

“YOU OWE A FAVOR TO THAT EEL? HENCHMAN WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!”

“I DIDN’T THINK ANYTHING AT ALL!”

“WHAT IF HE WANTS OUR DORM IN RETURN?”

“CALM DOWN.”

They both stared at each other, trying to regain their serenity, as the prefect sat down in the chair in front of Grim’s seat.

“Everything will be alright, as long as we avoid him, alright? We’ll have to be careful, but we have to succeed if we don’t want to end up working at the Monstro Lounge until our fourth year.”

“This is horrible, (Y/n). Maybe we should go back to the dorm, just to make sure he doesn’t invade our house-”

“Don’t you dare to believe we’re gonna leave so easily. I took the biggest risk of my life to get this book, so you better study the entire thing and get the best grade in the class.” Dramatically said the first-year student.

“You ask for too much, henchman.”

  ⤿

  ⤿

The Ramshackle duo was capable of successfully evading the Leech twin for a week. They had to run, eat their lunch in the middle of the gym instead of the cafeteria, ask their first-year friends to report which hallways were clear, and avoid going outside their dorm for nothing that wasn’t strictly necessary.

The Octavinelle students were not people to mess around with, and even less when it came to the unpredictable Floyd.

But it was clear that the prefect’s success wouldn’t last forever.

“Hey (Y/n)! Would you mind helping me to take this to the gym?” Ace suddenly called him as he made his way back to his dorm.

“Sure.”

They quickly arrived at the gym, where some of the members of the basketball club were already setting everything for their practice of that day.

"I thought Jamil was also part of this club?"

"Ah, yeah, but the captain asked him to go look for-"

Ace suddenly froze, an alarmed expression on his face.

"Ace? Who is he looking for? Hey, Ace-"

"C'mon Sea Snake, I already said I don't feel like practicing!"

'I'm sorry' was what Ace's gaze silently fried to say to the prefect, who just stood in his place, thinking if he didn't move, he wouldn't be noticed by the Octavinelle second-year.

Maybe if he tried to leave quietly...

"Oh? Who's that…? Shrimpy? Hiii."

Nevermind.

"Hi, Floyd." The prefect tried to play it cool, a stiff smile appearing on his face. “It’s very nice to see you, but I gotta go, good luck on your practice-"

"Ya won't stay?"

"No, I've got a lot of homework to do, and... I left Grim unsupervised at the dorm, yeah. I have to go to take care of him, duties of a prefect and stuff." He tried to walk away, but he was stopped by a sudden grip on one of his wrists.

"But practice is already too boring! Stay~~."

"Floyd I can't-"

"Have you already forgotten you owe me a favor?" The Octavinelle student changed his demeanor all of a sudden, a scary expression replacing the previous smile he had. (Y/n) had to avoid letting out a squeal at the sight of the darkened mismatched eyes that seemed to gaze directly at this soul.

“O-of course not, Floyd. If it’s for the favor, I can stay, don’t worry.” He answered, another tense smile being formed by his features.

“Yay! Come sit here, you’ll see how cool I am at playing.”

One hour later, the prefect could be seen noticeably more relaxed, as he watched the team practice for their next match. Floyd would regularly come to his spot on the bench, to point out something he did good, or sulking because he made a mistake. It was quite adorable, if he ignored that he was there after almost being threatened by the eel.

“You should come more often, prefect. It’s been a pretty long time ever since the last time I saw Floyd acting peacefully at practice.” Ace said as they finished cleaning the gym.

“He was acting peacefully today? How does he act usually then?” He asked, a little shocked.

“You don’t wanna know, I assure you.” The Heasrtlabyul student sighed. “But we have our next game in three days, maybe you should go.”

“I don’t know, Ace, I’ve been very busy lately-”

“But you’ll go either way, right~? I don’t think you want to refuse to repay me for the favor I did to you, Shrimpy.” Floyd suddenly appeared behind him, almost giving him a heart attack.

“Floyd! But I thought I already returned the favor by staying here?”

“Didn’t ya hear what I said before? I want you to come to all of my practices and games.” The second-year pouted, feeling annoyed that (Y/n) didn’t pay attention to him.

“Did you say that…?” The prefect questioned, mostly for himself. But at the sight of Floyd’s irritated face, he thought it was better to pretend that he heard it. “Ah, of course you said it, sorry. I’ll see you at your next game then?”

“Sure~ You’ll see how great I am once I win that match!”

The team actually lost.

The prefect couldn’t avoid chuckling at the sulking form of the moody second-year, who remained angry in a corner of the gym, as he looked quite childish.

“You did good Floyd.”

“I did, but those stupid morons kept getting in my way, they were lame.” He glared at the students from the other school, who felt intimidated by the angry look of the eel, even from afar.

“Uh…Maybe you’ll feel better if I invite you to eat ice cream?” The prefect asked with a quiet demeanor.

…

“Sure!! Let’s go Shrimpy~!!” Floyd’s mood suddenly improved, as he caught (Y/n)’s wrist to drag them out of the gym, without bothering to change his basketball uniform before leaving.

The Ramshackle student laughed loudly at the behavior of the Octavinelle student, as they let him guide through the city, looking for an ice cream store.

Maybe Floyd wasn’t so bad as others said, after all.

⤿

⤿

[plaid-shirtsandvibranium-arms]

The Second Choice

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x mermaid!Reader (A Spin on The Little Mermaid #3)

Summary: As the rebellious Princess of the Mers, you wanted the best of both worlds. You chose to live your life with endless adventures on land while still being able to fulfill your duties to the crown. Ransom just happens to feature in many of your adventures.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY SMUT CONTENT. so much adult language, cocky Ransom, unprotected semi-public fucking in human form, anal, degradation, praise, squirting, overstimulation, spanking, choking, ANGST, dubcon breeding, unprotected monster fucking, FLUFF, soft boy Ransom

Word Count: 8.1k (One Shot)

A/N: I did not expect this to turn out this way. I set out to write something completely different for Ransom but here we are. Enjoy! You don't need to read the first two, but it is recommended so that you can have a more wholistic experience with the lore and how they all connect together.

Full Masterlist | Story Book Collection Masterlist

Autumn has to be your favorite season and you prefer to spend it on land. There was nothing like laying down on a beach lounger with the cool salty ocean breeze blowing wrapped in a knitted sweater and sipping on a hot drink. You sighed happily as you sank down further on your lounger, stretching your legs out and wiggling your toes. Your short skirt blew with the wind and tickled your thighs as you stared fondly at the crashing waves of your private beach property in Malibu. You mulled over your life and your Kingdom underwater as you often did on quiet nights like this.

The second choice.

Being the second child of the Queen of the Seas earned you a certain level of privilege. It came with the title of royalty, a precious princess to the kingdom. It came with the respect of your species and the protection of the warriors, but you were always the second choice. Thank the gods for that. You were more than happy to revert all of that responsibility over to your older half brother Steve.

An heir and a spare.

Crown Prince Steven was by all means the epitome of a future King, exemplary in combat and sharp in wit with a natural inclination for leadership. You were the spare. Just like your mother was for your Uncle Andy. Unlike your family, you disagreed with many Merfolk traditions and you were considered as different.

A wild card.

A brat.

Rebellious.

Difficult.

One important thing you disagreed with was the treatment of humans. You knew the significance and you understood that it was essential for survival, but you were always conflicted and you refused to directly participate. Still your love and loyalty for your kind was strong and you were still duty bound. So you delegated yourself to a task not many wanted but one where you found purpose in.

Gatekeeper.

That was what they called this role, held by only a few since it was established. Since the Merfolk population was limited, everyone had a part to play. Yours was to be the link between land and sea. Early on your ancestors realized that your people needed a way to navigate the human world, a way to ensure safety when on land and resources to use. You held your hand out in front of you, the precious stones and luxurious metals glittering with the soft light of your backyard.

Jewelry.

There was no shortage of riches from the sea, riches apparently that humans were willing to pay hefty amounts for. Your ancestors partnered with a poor fishing couple who were good of heart, but desperately struggling to feed their children. The agreement was that this family help the Merfolk on land and to keep their existence a secret in exchange for unlimited riches for generations to come and the protection of the Merfolk. From this partnership grew a global conglomerate that was now a household name for high end jewelry and ocean conservation.

The profit and influence from this company enabled your people to live and move comfortably on land. Your job was to maintain the relationship with your human partners and to ensure all Merfolk that came on land were well equipped and safe. They went to you first and you ensured safe passage for them.

You took a long sip from your drink, letting the warmth spread through your body with a satisfied hum. It has been a busy week for you with the launch of a new line of designs and a slew of promotional parties. There was still more work to be done so it was nice to have time to relax.

So deep in thought were you and in a comfortable cocoon that you didn’t realize a large shadow slowly drawing nearer behind you. If you were paying more attention, you would have heard the soft click as your back door opened. You would have heard the light padding of expensive loafers. You would have caught the scent of designer cologne.

It wasn’t until a hand clamped over your mouth that your body went on high alert. Your cup flew out of your hand and smashed against the wood of the deck, your screaming muffled by the hand. Your heart pounded frantically as you thrashed in an effort to be released. An amused chuckle halted your struggle and the smirking face that lowered to your view turned the fear to exasperated annoyance.

“Ransom, you fucking asshole!” you shrieked as you smacked his arm repeatedly. “You scared me!”

“You should have seen your face,” he laughed as he sat down beside you, pulling you onto his lap to kiss you breathless. “Your housekeeper let me in before she left.”

One hand was on the back of your head, keeping you in place as he continued to kiss you. You moaned as his tongue battled with yours, his forcefulness sending heat to your core immediately. His other hand was gripping your hip, moving you to press closer to his growing erection.

“You’re such a dick,” you mumbled, as he moved his mouth to your neck.

“You like this dick,” he chuckled, lifting you to properly straddle him and angling his hips to grind against you. “You miss this dick.”

He wasn’t wrong. He was a cocky dick but he gave good dick. Ever since you met him a couple of years ago at a party in Massachusetts, you couldn’t help but find his arrogant snarky personality entertaining. He was so brashly honest and uncaring of what other people thought of him that you found it oddly appealing as you traded witty comebacks back and forth. It helped that he also looked delicious and you just happened to need someone to warm your bed that night.

What was meant to be just a one night stand turned into a habitual no strings attached arrangement when three months later you saw each other again by chance at another party. You only got as far as the ballroom’s ornate bathroom that time and it took a while for your legs to be able to support you much to his smug satisfaction. From then on whenever you were in the same city, you sought each other out.

“You’re wet already, aren’t you?” he said as his hand slipped beneath your skirt, his thumb sneaking under your panties and swiping against your folds. “Dripping. I could probably just shove my cock in this pussy with no fight.”

“Ransom,” you whined, your hips moving in search of more friction.

“Impatient little brat. I’ve barely touched you and you’re already so desperate for my cock.”

“Fuck me or get the fuck out of my house, Ransom.”

He chuckled when your threats melted into sighs as he pushed his thumb inside you, shallowly fucking you in a way that was no where near enough. He loved to tease you. A big part of what turns him on about you is how you fight back, meeting his own demanding nature with your own stubborn one. Getting a win over each other was sometimes better than the orgasm that follows, but nothing compared to the image of having you an angry whimpering mess beneath him.

He pulled his thumb out and popped it in his mouth, making a show of twirling his tongue around your arousal that was coating his finger. He kept your gazes locked the whole time, noting how your breath hitched and your eyes darkened.

“Still the sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted,” he hummed. “Quiet now, aren’t you?”

The small growl you let out amused him to no end and he wanted to keep riling you up, but the tightening in his pants was becoming urgent. He smacked your ass and dumped you back on the lounger before he stood.

“Hands and knees.”

You wanted to let out a sharp remark or roll your eyes at his commanding tone, anything to antagonize him but the sight of his big beautiful cock out made your mouth water. You maneuvered yourself around just as he asked, opening your mouth for him in anticipation.

“Good girl,” he said, running the tip of his cock lightly along your lips. “Show me how much of a whore you are for this cock.”

He slipped his cock into your mouth, easing in until his full length was hitting the back of your throat. He let out a long low groan, one hand firmly on the back of your head to keep you in place. His pace started slow until he was thrusting into your mouth with the sole purpose of using you for his pleasure.

“Fuck. That's right. Take that cock just how I taught you.”

You relaxed your throat and flattened your tongue, staring up at him to encourage him to be rougher with you. You can take it. You could always take him. Watching him lose himself in your mouth made your pussy clench, his eyes burning with lust and his jaw ticking. You rubbed your thighs together to ease the ache between your legs. You couldn’t help it. He just looked so good with that feral look in his blue eyes. Blue eyes that now flashed in anger down at you.

You felt his fingers dig into the back of your head as a resounding crack shocked you forward making you choke on his cock, your bottom stinging from two more quick slaps that followed. You yelped, the sound garbled and muffled as you were pressed close to his pelvis. His fingers forcing their way inside you with no warning.

“Greedy. Little. Brat.”

Each word was punctuated with a sharp jerk of his hips and a twist of his fingers inside you. Your slick was dripping down your thighs and soaking his hand, your pussy was pulsing and clenching. More. You needed more. Your hips began to wind and push against his hand earning you a dark chuckle from above you.

“You’re just such a desperate slut, aren’t you?” he said, his tone mocking you.

He groaned as you swallowed around him, your eyes meeting his and glinting with mischief. You knew how to press his buttons too. He pulled himself out of you suddenly and grabbed you by the neck to raise your face to his, spit shining around your mouth and chin.

“That how you wanna play today, princess?”

You smirked, the nickname carrying a certain irony given how Ransom didn’t know how accurate it actually was. You leaned your face closer and ran your hands up the soft texture of his sweater, fearlessly meeting his fury to nip on his plump bottom lip before slowly pulling back and winking devilishly at him.

The growl he let out sent a new wave of arousal through you, the electricity buzzing down your spine as he crashed his lips to yours in a messy kiss. You moaned against his mouth, gasping as he pushed you off him. He manhandled you until you were on all fours again with your ass up for him, ripping your skirt and panties off in one go. He kept your loose cable knit sweater on though, loving how soft you felt all over.

You jolted forward as you felt him spit on your cunt, spreading it around with your slick up to your puckered hole. His thumb slipped in with little resistance and your body sagged as you welcomed it.

“Ransom,” you whined.

He hummed. Toying with your back entrance as he rubbed the head of his cock against your soaking core. Your pussy wept and clenched, your whole body screaming to be stuffed. The moment the head of his cock breached you, all thoughts flew out of your mind except for the feel of his girth stretching your walls in a way no other man or merman has ever done for you.

“God, you’re tight,” he grunted as he bottomed out. “But you’re taking me so well, princess. Like you’re made to take this cock.”

“More. Harder, Ransom,” you moaned.

He tutted at you as he continued with his infuriatingly languid pace, one hand gripping your hip to keep you locked in place. The bruises will be a nice thing to wake up to tomorrow. His thumb in your ass kept pressing in, contributing to your pleasure but it still wasn’t enough.

“Come on, princess. You know what to say.”

“Fuck!” you screamed as he rolled his hips, reaching deeper inside you and building up that fire inside you just a bit more. “Just fuck me harder, you goddamn prick.”

“You know what I wanna hear,” he chuckled. Another roll of his hips and your legs were starting to quiver with the tension. “Say it.”

“Please,” you muttered under your breath.

The hand on your hip gripped tighter and his hips snapped sharply, the sound of your skin meeting drowned by your yelp. “Say it louder.”

You gritted your teeth, your stubborn head telling you to disobey. Your body was shaking now, teetering over the edge of an almost orgasm. Another sharp thrust, pushing hard into both your holes, had your resolve crumbling.

“Please, Ransom. Take me harder, please.”

You turned your head and caught the slow smirk curve on his face and the excitement of knowing rippled through you. All at once his pace changed drastically, pounding into you until you were practically falling through the lounger. You screamed your pleasure into the night, falling instantly into your first orgasm.

“Good girl,” he panted from behind you, his thrusts not slowing even as you continued convulsing beneath him. “Keep going.”

The smug bastard kept fucking you through to another rippling orgasm, his thumb joined now by another finger to prep you for what he wanted next. He bit down on his lip to stave off his own release, but your walls pulsing around him and your mewling was making it difficult. He grabbed you by the neck and pulled you up flush against him as he pulled out of you, your weakened body grateful for the support.

His cock was glistening with your cum, aiding in his entrance through your puckered hole. His hand around your throat tightened, just as tight as your walls around his cock. You felt his hot breath around your ear as he groaned in satisfaction. His other hand trailed down your overheated body to spear his fingers through your weeping core. The curses and pleading just kept spilling from your lips.

“This is how you like it. Right, princess?” he said as his fingers pushed and tapped relentlessly inside you, hitting that spongy spot that had your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “You like me stuffing both your holes where the neighbors could just look out their windows and see how much of a slut you are for me? Come on then, princess.”

His hands and cock worked in complete synchrony to deliver you to your ruin; digging, prodding, scissoring, pushing, pounding, and choking you just right. Your sweater drooped down your shoulder and his mouth took it as an invitation to latch on, biting and sucking his stamp of ownership over you. You could feel the coil impossibly tighten, already on the brink of snapping completely.

“Make a mess for me.”

You keened sharply as ecstasy consumed you, your vision exploding with fireworks and tears. Your whole body shook violently with pleasure as your release continuously drenched the once pristine white cushion beneath you, his hand rubbing and slapping now at your throbbing clit.

"Fuck. That's it," he groaned. "Goddamn, you feel good."

You could vaguely hear the string of profanities and praise he let out as he railed into your ass in time with the thundering in your ears. He pulled you back with a hard bite down on your shoulder as he emptied himself inside you with a feral roar.

For a while, no words were exchanged between you. There was only heavy panting, heartbeats that struggled to slow, and hands that roamed lazily. He turned your head to catch your lips in a slow kiss that made you shiver. It was the complete opposite of the manner he just took you, but was always welcome. He pulled out of you and drew you back to sit between his legs, his hands slipping beneath your sweater to palm at your breasts with interest.

“I didn’t know you were in town,” you said as you leaned further back against him.

“Charles Blackwood was having a birthday party in LA. Got bored.” He tweaked your nipple and your back arched. “Knew I’d have more fun here.”

“Not enough strippers for your taste?” you teased. “How long are you here for?”

“About a week,” he whispered against your ear, nibbling on your lobe and sneaking his tongue in. “Glad I caught you before your annual trip with your family. Can’t have you craving my cock for too long.”

“Just in time then. I leave in two weeks.” Your hand reached behind to card through his hair, pulling and scratching lightly at his scalp. He groaned and grinded his hips forward, his manhood starting to grow again. “Plenty of time for you to put your smart mouth to better use. I have some business meetings but I’m mostly free.”

“Oh, princess. Don’t make plans just yet.” He pulled your sweater over your head and tossed it aside, before he lifted you up into his arms and into your house. You laughed against his neck, your arms clinging to him. “I’m not even halfway done with you tonight.”

He caught sight of a few loose pearls on the lounger that he just assumed must have gotten knocked off from one of the pieces you were wearing. They hardly registered when he had your willing body pressed against his.

-------------------------

He didn’t leave until noon the next day, leaving you thoroughly sated and sore, but it would be a couple of days later when he came back. You were busy arranging your things for the meeting you needed to get to, checking the essentia paperwork to bring and shoving your belongings into your purse.

Ransom walked in like he owned the place and grinned at the business attire you were wearing that highlighted your body perfectly. You were beautiful in anything you wore, there was a fiery radiance to you and a presence that was captivating, but seeing you dressed like this made you look powerful and in charge. His cock was already hardening and he hasn’t even touched you yet. He couldn’t wait to rip it off you.

“Hey, princess. Busy today?” he smirked as he sauntered over to you.

He abruptly halted before he could reach you when another man came into the room, dressed similarly to you and frowning at the tie he was struggling with in his gloved hands. He was tall and wide, built like a brick wall with icy blue eyes and sharp bone structure. Ransom noted that his hair was still damp, an obvious sign that he got ready here.

He scowled when their eyes met, a sudden wave of possessiveness taking him by surprise when the other man stood far too closely to you for his liking. You were oblivious to the death stare match they were having, too busy thinking of the tasks needed to be accomplished today.

“Ransom this is Bucky. Bucky this is Ransom,” you casually introduced them, taking the tie from Bucky and fixing it for him hurriedly. The intimate yet familiar gesture made Ransom’s jaw clench. “Wait for me in the car, Buck. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

“Are you sure, princess?”

Ransom growled at the use of the term. That was his pet name for you. It infuriated him how you didn’t even react to another man calling you that. You were by no means exclusive with each other. You weren’t dating. You also made no promises that this arrangement would lead to anything else. It suited you both since you weren’t ones to be tied down, but neither of you had seen the other with someone else.

It was hypocritical of Ransom particularly since he was still upholding his reputation as a playboy and you weren’t exactly waiting around for the next time your paths crossed. That was the deal, but Ransom never did do well with sharing. You weren’t his, but for the first time since he met you he thought that maybe he wanted you to be.

As soon as Bucky was out the door, Ransom’s furious expression was on you and his low snarl froze you on the spot. “Who the fuck was that?”

“What the hell is your problem? I told you that was Bucky.”

“Who the hell is Bucky?” he growled in your face. “Who is he to you, princess?”

You were surprised by this unexpected outburst and the venom in his use of the pet name made you flinch, but you weren’t one to back down. This princess bows to no one. You lifted your chin and met his gaze unflinchingly as the realization began to dawn on you.

Ransom was jealous.

Bucky was a Queen's Guard who regularly would check up on you and the other Merfolk onshore. This time around he also escorted a few of your people to you and helped send them on their way. This afternoon he was accompanying you to meet with the human family you were bonded with. He was also your older brother’s closest friend, a mainstay in your life since childhood. Ransom had no reason to be jealous of him, but you were in no mood to pander to his childish behaviour.

“He’s a family friend.”

“I can see just how friendly you two are,” he scoffed.

“What if we are?” you challenged him. “That’s none of your business.”

“Like hell it isn’t! Are you really that much of a cock hungry whore that you can’t even go two days without looking for something to fill your cunt?”

The crack of your hand as it met his cheek threw the room into a tense silence. Your chest rose and fell heavily as you struggled to control your indignation, hot tears stinging your eyes. Never had anyone spoken to you this way. Never had Ransom used those words on you with malice and you hated to admit to yourself that it hurt you more than you expected.

“You don’t get to talk to me like that. You don’t get to make me feel bad when you’re not exactly discreet about your conquests,” you shot back, mirroring the rage that was evident on his face. “You don’t get to judge me when your bullshit is splashed across gossip blogs on a regular basis. You even went viral for your dick pic on Instagram. Good for you.”

“You. Vicious. Little. Bitch.”

You sneered at how the veins on his neck were popping with each punctuated word. He was shaking with barely restrained fury, his fists clenched at his sides and a small bleeding cut on his cheek from the ring you wore on your hand that struck him. Good. If you weren’t so furious, you would have thought that anger just made him more attractive.

“You do not own me,” you spat, taking a confident step toward him. “Now if you’re quite done with your temper tantrum, I have a meeting to get to. You can wait here for me to come back in a few hours and we can talk when you’ve calmed down. ”

“You must be insane to think I’d wait here for you like some puppy.”

“Fine. Then don’t.” You threw your hands in the air in dismissal. “Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.”

You grabbed your things and marched toward the door. You looked at him one last time, your face turning oddly sad before you fixed it to one of icy indifference.

“Goodbye, Ransom.”

The door slammed behind you with a finality that echoed in the now empty room where he still stood. He wasn’t sure which was more bruised, his cheek or his pride.

-------------------------

You expected Ransom to not be there when you got back, but it still stung when you came home to an empty house. Out of all the many properties your kind owned on land this mansion was your favorite which was why you chose this as your permanent residence. Built and decorated with the thought that it was an extension of the sea, with its open spacious interiors in a coastal design and a backyard with a large pool that led to the private beach. It always felt comfortable and welcoming to you. It felt like home.

Now as your heels clicked on the wood floors, you feel for the first time how empty it was. Even as you opened more lights and drew back curtains, the large house still felt cold and you felt it seep into your chest. Your free spirited lifestyle ensured endless parties, countless interactions with humans, a freedom to travel as you wished, work that was a passion for you, and a string of lovers. You had the best of both worlds and the privilege to enjoy it to the fullest. You could hardly say that you were alone, but now somehow you felt lonely. Your chosen independence, just earlier filled with gratification, now left you feeling unfulfilled.

Was it really all because of Ransom?

The answer came almost two weeks later. Two weeks of constantly checking your phone for any calls or messages only to be disappointed because both of you were too prideful to reach out first. You suspected that he would have already gone home when a week went by and there was still no sign of him. The internet gossip blog you stumbled on confirmed it. You would deny to anyone who asked that you were looking for news about him. He was back in Massachusetts with a new girl on his arm at another party. It hurt. That you couldn't deny.

Yes. It was all because of Ransom.

A life of fun and endless possibilities, but with no one to share it with. It never bothered you before, but Ransom's absence from your life had more of an impact than you anticipated. He made you laugh with his ranting about his insufferable family. He complimented you on your new designs, always sending a quick congratulatory message on each new launch. He even challenged your decisions in business matters you had shared. He wasn't romantic but he had a habit of bringing you his favorite biscuits when he came to visit. He would say it was because you had subpar taste in after sex snacks, but he always ended up feeding you most of it and licking the crumbs from your lips. The sex itself was not just mind blowing, but he had opened you up to more exploration.

Despite how little time you actually spent together, you realize now how comfortable you were with him. You realize just how much you enjoyed his company, that you actually looked forward to it. You realize now that you surprisingly trusted that spoiled overgrown child of a man.

And you realize now that you were in love with him.

You groaned and cussed at yourself. It was absurd. You knew how stupid it was. It was also equally idiotic to have postponed your trip back to your kingdom in the disillusioned hope that he might still call you. Your spirit was waning and your body was terribly weakened, your magic struggling to maintain your human form.

You stripped off your clothes and elegantly dove into the pool, reaching deep before you twirled and a soft glow enveloped you. You sighed in relief as your legs morphed into your tail, the pain you had been feeling the last few days lifting temporarily and yet your chest still felt heavy with the last conversation you had with Ransom. You took your time circling the depths of your expansive swimming pool, allowing yourself to recover as much as it could but at this point you had no choice now but to leave tonight.

Merfolk power came from the sea and prolonged separation weakened you. Your annual trips back to your kingdom were born out of necessity, a way to recharge your magic and strength where Mer magic was the strongest for you to be able to return to shore again. If you don’t go tonight, your magic will dissolve and your body will waste away.

You will die.

However, this time you were as reluctant to leave as you were to come back. What would be the point of coming back? There was suddenly no more joy in your life here and truthfully you don’t think you can take seeing more news of Ransom or risk running into him. Perhaps it was time to talk to your mother. Perhaps it was time to find a different purpose for you.

Your head popped up out of the surface, sighing heavily and staring forlornly at the night sky. You would miss the sky. It was one of your favorite things about the shore. You could spend hours just watching the colors change from the dusky sunrise to the clear blue to the stormy grays to the fiery sunsets. Your favorite was the bright blue of morning, filled with the choice of a day of adventures ahead or lazy musings. The possibilities were endless with the morning sky. It would now remind you painfully of Ransom, but you were decided. You’ve had a good run on shore. You’ve lived your life as you pleased without the burden of your title holding you back.

It was time to be a proper princess for your kingdom.

“So this is your secret.”

Your eyes widened as you turned toward the voice, your tail automatically carrying you to the edge to hide yourself. It was no use though. He had already seen everything and as you stared up at him, you couldn’t help the thrill of seeing him again or the wistful smile that curved your lips that you were quick to tamp down.

“Ransom.”

“You’re a mermaid.”

Your face dropped and your eyes turned downcast, trying hard to avoid his gaze as if it could hide your secret from him. As if it were shameful. When Ransom stepped out onto your backyard, he could hardly make sense of what he was seeing. He must be high, but as he watched you swim so gracefully beneath the surface he became more and more mesmerized by your movements. He was hypnotized by how the color of your tail shone with the subtle lights of your home and the gentle silver of the moon. It made the flaming hues of your lower half stand out more, like a bursting sunset of red and gold. He was caught by your beauty the moment he first saw you, but this was different.

You were enchanting.

You had enchanted him from the start and he now knew why. It explained how he was so magnetically drawn to you. How you had kept his attention where all else had failed. How you kept creeping into his mind when you were apart. How he craved you. It told him that it was never a choice, he would never have been able to resist you even if he wanted to.

He really never wanted to.

He almost thought it unfair. You were magical and he was human. He was a lost cause from the start, but while it explained much it didn’t cover everything. It didn’t explain why he relished your laughter or admired your work ethic. It didn’t explain why he genuinely liked to hear your stories. It didn’t explain how he could be comfortable enough to be honest with you. It didn’t explain the possessive surge he felt that day you fought or what made him say those words that were meant to hurt you.

In a move that was wholly out of character for him, he bent down to capture your chin in his hand and turn your gaze back to him. His other hand traced the elaborate gold band that circled your head with countless rare pearls and precious gems that dripped down to your hair.

A princess.

“You’re an actual princess too, aren’t you? That’s why that brooding asshole called you that last time,” he chuckled, the sound fraying your nerves. You weren’t sure whether he was mocking you or he was genuinely amused, but you couldn’t seem to look away. Not when for two weeks you wanted nothing more than to see him.

“You know there are rumors that the secret silent partner in your company is actually a Mafia clan,” he laughed loudly this time. “I guess swimming with the fishes has a different meaning to you.”

Your lips twitched in a barely contained smile before your head tilted to the side in confusion. “You don’t seem too surprised.”

“It makes sense,” he shrugged dismissively.

You barked your laughter, the nerves you were feeling earlier suddenly expelled with each breath and the lingering anger from your last interaction pushed aside for the time being. You shook your head, but leaned over the edge and craned your neck upwards to keep his eyes. His gorgeous aqua eyes that you now realized didn’t hold what you normally would expect from someone faced with what was known only as myth. There was no ill intent, fear, or disgust. They were cocky and playful just like Ransom always was with you. What was new was what was unexpectedly lining it.

Affection.

“I fail to see what part of this makes any type of fucking sense, Ransom,” you smiled as you flicked your fins up to the surface to emphasize your point.

For a moment he was transfixed with how your tail was lazily swishing before he looked back at you and there was that affection again that was making your face heat up. “The secrecy. How you don’t keep a public profile despite making the big decisions in the company. You actually own the damn company, don’t you?”

You nodded sheepishly and he chuckled again. His fingers travelled lightly along one string of pearls that decorated your head. “That also explains why you happen to be the only ones able to sell these kinds of pearls. They’re so rare. You can’t tell me how they’re made right?”

“Maybe. Someday. It’s a secret of the Mers,” you grinned cheekily. His smile grew at the thought that there was a someday, that he hadn’t already completely ruined things with you. “Still doesn’t explain how easily you’re accepting all of this though.”

“You forget that Harlan is a novelist and I grew up around his incessant rambling about literature,” he scoffed and rolled his eyes at the thought of his family. “Every design you put out has a little story about Merfolk. I thought it was a cool gimmick at first, but something about it always struck me as intimate. Like it was personal. You wrote them yourself, didn’t you?”

“I did,” you admitted quietly. You bit your lip nervously as you braced yourself to ask a more difficult question. “You honestly don’t find all this too strange?”

“Are you kidding me?” he laughed loudly. “My girlfriend’s a fucking mermaid!”

You felt your face heat up again at the sudden declaration. He’s called you many things, but he’s never called you that. Neither of you have ever acknowledged whatever you had as anything more than convenient fucking.

Still, why did it make your heart flutter?

“Wow. Got you speechless for once and I didn’t even need to choke you with my cock this time,” he snickered, enjoying the flustered look on your face and bringing his face closer to yours. So close that your noses were brushing and you could feel his long lashes on your wet cheeks.

“What? You don’t like being called my girlfriend, princess?”

“Ransom, I -”

“Marry me.”

You were stunned speechless and your instinct told you to recoil. It told you to run, but Ransom caught your wrist before you could retreat from him.

“You can’t be serious, Ransom,” you shook your head.

“Oh I’m completely serious, princess.”

“You’re fucking insane! You can’t possibly think that’s a good idea.”

He leaned away from you, dropping your hand as he stood to his full height. Your eyes widened when you saw him slowly strip his clothes. He threw them unceremoniously on the day beds, keeping eye contact with you and smirking at how your expression was somewhere between confused and aroused at the sight of him completely naked.

“Let me show you how good of an idea it is.”

It must be the fatigue of your power fading that you didn’t react fast enough when he dove into the water and dragged you under. The next thing you know, Ransom had you caged in his arms and his lips were on yours. You yelped against his mouth when you felt him pull at one nipple until it went hard beneath his touch. He flashed you another smug look before he stole another kiss and propelled you both up to the surface.

“Marry me,” he said the moment you broke air, crowding you against the edge of the pool. His hands roaming all across your body, exploring the new texture of your skin. “God, you’re so hot like this.”

“Ransom,” you gasped as his mouth moved to suck and nip along your throat, your neck instinctively dropping back to give him more access. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”

He groaned as he felt your hands card through his hair and pull at the strands, unable to resist the attraction that was always so strong between you. He held you in place by your ass and pressed his throbbing erection against you. He bit hard into the sensitive juncture at the base of your neck and smiled against the newly forming bruise when he felt your fins curl around his leg to bring him closer. You could take any form and he would still know how to make your body sing for him.

“I don’t know about that. I think I like the idea of being a prince,” he laughed, his breath tickling your ear and sending shivers across your skin. “Marry me.”

His hands travelled lower, trailing fire all over your body as he groped at your breasts and gripped at your curves. His fingers soon reached below your pelvis and you would think that he had experience with mermaid anatomy by how fast he found your veiled entrance. It was your sharp inhale though and the way your fingers dug into his back that gave you away when he brushed against your core. He slipped his fingers past the pliant part of your tail and straight into your pulsating core.

“Fuck,” he growled. It was so different, somehow even more wet and tighter than you usually were. “I can’t wait to stick my cock in there, princess. Marry me.”

You moaned his name and shook your head even as his fingers were making your hips move in search of more. “We can’t.”

You keened when he found that spot inside you that had your resolve hanging by a thread. You tried to hang on to your reasoning. You tried to remind yourself that neither of you were the marrying type. Neither of you were the commitment type. You were both selfish and self-indulgent.

His free hand came around your throat, forcing you to look at him as he unraveled you with his fingers. You saw the determined set of his jaw and the burning desire in his eyes. He wanted you.

Every version of you.

“That’s it. Don’t you want me as your prince?” he teased as his pace quickened until he felt you were on the brink of climax. “Marry me, princess. Let go for me now.”

You came hard, your voice carrying like a melody through your freefall. Ransom was dead set on your ruin and convincing you to be with him. He needed to show you how good you were together. His painfully hard cock swiftly replaced his fingers and he felt like he was going to cum on the spot by just how you felt. It was out of this world. You were still mid orgasm and it was driving him into a frenzy how your walls were pulsing around him.

“I didn’t think your cunt could get any better. Goddamn.”

“Ransom,” you panted, nearing delirium now from pleasure. “Fuck me please. I need it. Please, I need it.”

The growl he let out was animalistic as he hammered into you, your mouths fusing and your tongues battled in between incoherent chanting of each other’s names. You were absolutely lost in each other, the water violently splashing from your crude movements. It wasn’t long before you were teetering over the edge again, one sharp snap of his hips sending you spiralling into bliss.

“You feel fucking amazing,” he grunted, his pace starting to falter as he neared his own end. “I’m gonna fill you up, princess. If you don’t wanna be my wife right now then you can be the mother of my brats first.”

You clenched around him at the thought and his hips stuttered. A small voice in the back of your mind warned you. If he came inside you right now in this form and in your vulnerable state, he would surely succeed in his task.

“Ransom, you can’t,” you protested weakly, still reeling from your climax and already building toward another.

“I can, princess,” he chuckled darkly as he continued to rail hard into you. “And I will. You want this too. I’m making you mine.”

The authority in his voice threw you into your next release, your walls milking him for all he would offer and pulling him into his own finish. He kissed you hard as he continued to pump his seed inside you, making sure every drop was pushed deep.

His lips slowly parted from yours, but he didn’t go far. He rested his forehead against yours, his twitching cock still nestled inside you, and his hands cupping your face with an unexpected tenderness that was mirrored in his eyes.

“Marry me.”

Through the jumbled mess of your thoughts, you scrambled again for your reasoning. You both were spoiled and wanted it all. You both valued your independence and freedom to have fun as you wished. You both walked away from each other during that fight. You both hurt each other. As if reading your mind, he rubbed his thumbs over your cheeks to calm your protests before he spoke.

“After the fight, I spent a lot of time thinking. I was ready to just bury myself in the next pussy I see and forget all about you,” he started gently. “Then I found out we were all getting cut off from my grandfather’s will. All I am is my money and without that who am I? I went into a dark place, princess.”

You saw him struggle with his words and your heart softened at this rare show of vulnerability. He’s never shown this side of him to you. Whatever he shared with you was always with his brand of humor and sarcasm. You suspected that he never showed it to anyone. You appreciated how difficult this was for him to open up to you. Your hands ran soothingly along his arms, a silent encouragement for him to continue.

“I was going to do something that I would have regretted. I was going to do something that would have destroyed me completely. All for money. All for the pride of a Thrombey,” he swallowed, pausing for a moment to steady himself. He would never be able to fully put into words what you pulled him back from doing. What you stopped him from becoming. “But one thing kept holding me back from going through with it.”

“Me?” you asked quietly.

“Yes, princess,” he gave you a small smile and kissed the tip of your nose. “I’m sorry I said those things to you. I regret them. I didn’t mean a single word. You were the first person I wanted to talk to after I found out about the will. You were the only person I wanted to see. You still are. That’s when I knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That I love you, you fucking idiot,” he chuckled. “I was fully willing to say to hell with my family and the money. None of what I thought was important before is anymore. Not after you.”

Your hands slid to loop around his neck and tangle themselves in his wet hair, smiling at the thought that just before he came you had the exact same epiphany that he had. What mattered then didn’t matter anymore. Not if you weren’t together. You had changed each other and neither of you even knew it was happening.

“So, Ransom Drysdale, the trust fund playboy.” You laughed as he rolled his eyes at your teasing. “You love me?”

“I just said that!”

“Well I wanna hear it again!”

“God, you’re so high maintenance,” he groaned in mock exhaustion though there was no venom in his tone, only an indulgent smirk on his lips.

“That’s rich coming from you,” you snorted.

“We’re not even married yet and you’re already nagging at me.”

“Excuse me?!”

He crashed his lips to yours, laughing as he kissed you breathless and his stomach fluttering in amusement at how you were smacking his chest in annoyance. Exactly this. He wanted exactly this for the rest of his life.

With you.

“We’re getting married next week. I don’t want any of my family to come. They can all eat shit. We’re eloping.”

“I didn’t say yes, you asshole.”

He scoffed and pinned you with a raised eyebrow. “You’re really an idiot if you think it was ever a choice.”

The laugh faded from your lips as you remembered the journey you needed to make and by the look on his face, he seemed to realize the same thing. He also realized now that the truth of your nature was revealed that it must mean more than just a yearly family trip.

“You have to leave,” he said sadly, suddenly deflated. “When?”

“Tonight. I’m too weak to stay on land for much longer. I need to go back.”

“Then marry me right fucking now. I want to know you’re going to come back,” he swallowed, vulnerability again flashing in his eyes but now coupled with his stubborn firmness. “I need to know you’re coming back to me.”

“How?”

“I don’t give a shit how,” he smirked as he fiddled with his hand, slipping off the signet ring that he always wore on his pinky.

You couldn’t help giggling as he struggled to somehow fasten it on your crown, carefully making sure that his ring was secure and prominent among the many adornments. It was just so ridiculous and yet it made your heart swell with joy and your eyes fill with tears.

“There. We’re married now.”

You beamed at him and from the opposite side of his ring, you broke off a winding piece of gold and fastened it around his pinky. You lifted his hand up to your face, closing your eyes as tears streaked down your cheek to land on the makeshift ring. You closed your hands over it for a moment and when again revealed, Ransom was shocked to see a pearl now attached to it.

“We’re married now. I love you too.”

He crashed his lips to yours, overwhelmed by the love and awe that he was feeling for you. You were his now. It didn’t matter to him if it was real or made up. It just mattered that you were his and he was yours. You would return and when you did, he was going to marry you in every conceivable ceremony there was in this world and yours.

Bless, Bless

This unity once wished

A joining of land and sea

Finally achieved

Not a choice of one or the other

But of both to prosper

You both smiled as you parted, the blessing of the ancients anchoring you in permanence with each other. You knew for sure now that you would return and his parting words made you all the more eager to do so.

“I’ll be here waiting.”

---------------------------------

[unolvrs]

hi uno! do you have any book recommendations?

yes! though, i haven't read much books for a long time because of school and maybe lots of these are ones you've read before. but here are most of what i like! i’ll just drop three recommendations for now!

please ask me for anime and manga recommendations.

the temple of the golden pavilion

“Mizoguchi, an ostracized stutterer, develops a childhood fascination with Kyoto’s famous Golden Temple. While an acolyte at the temple, he fixates on the structure’s aesthetic perfection and it becomes the one and only object of his desire. But as Mizoguchi begins to perceive flaws in the temple, he determines that the only true path to beauty lies in an act of horrendous violence. Based on a real incident that occurred in 1950, The Temple of the Golden Pavilion brilliantly portrays the passions and agonies of a young man in postwar Japan, bringing to the subject the erotic imagination and instinct for the dramatic moment that marked Mishima as one of the towering makers of modern fiction.”

rating: 5/5, goodreads: the temple of the golden pavilion

opinion: still one of my most favorite works of all time. as you all know, this was based on a real story of a buddhist monk burning down the golden temple, kinkaku-ji. the way the burning was written was so stunning and i continuously reference it in multiple works of mine such as among dawn flowers (the face of god) and today, i, too, because of it’s stunning imagery and the meaning behind the whole story.

the diving pool by ogawa youko

“From Akutagawa Award-winning author Yoko Ogawa comes a haunting trio of novellas about love, fertility, obsession, and how even the most innocent gestures may contain a hairline crack of cruel intent. A lonely teenage girl falls in love with her foster brother as she watches him leap from a high diving board into a pool—a peculiar infatuation that sends unexpected ripples through her life. A young woman records the daily moods of her pregnant sister in a diary, taking meticulous note of a pregnancy that may or may not be a hallucination—but whose hallucination is it, hers or her sister's? A woman nostalgically visits her old college dormitory on the outskirts of Tokyo, a boarding house run by a mysterious triple amputee with one leg.”

rating: 4.5/5, goodreads: the diving pool

opinion: as an afab, this appealed to me in a way a few books did. ogawa-sensei wrote three short stories about a teenager, a college student, and an adult woman to portray the perspective of a woman, and god, was it so beautiful and painfully real. the characters are unique in their own ways, and do some irredeemable stuff as well, but that’s what makes everything so beautiful. you know the feeling when you’re in a pool or at the very least, underwater, and everything is quiet but heavy? that’s what reading this felt like.

a monster calls by patrick ness

“At seven minutes past midnight, thirteen-year-old Conor wakes to find a monster outside his bedroom window. But it isn't the monster Conor's been expecting - he's been expecting the one from his nightmare, the nightmare he's had nearly every night since his mother started her treatments. The monster in his backyard is different. It's ancient. And wild. And it wants something from Conor. Something terrible and dangerous. It wants the truth.”

rating: 10/10, goodreads: a monster calls

opinion: i cried. i sobbed. i shat myself. there’s a movie and it’s also stunning. that’s all.

lolita by vladmir nabokov

“Humbert Humbert - scholar, aesthete and romantic - has fallen completely and utterly in love with Dolores Haze, his landlady's gum-snapping, silky skinned twelve-year-old daughter. Reluctantly agreeing to marry Mrs Haze just to be close to Lolita, Humbert suffers greatly in the pursuit of romance; but when Lo herself starts looking for attention elsewhere, he will carry her off on a desperate cross-country misadventure, all in the name of Love. Hilarious, flamboyant, heart-breaking and full of ingenious word play, Lolita is an immaculate, unforgettable masterpiece of obsession, delusion and lust.”

rating: ... 0/5 for the main character but 5/5 for the writing, goodreads: lolita

opinion: i’m sure many of you have heard of this book and have some opinions about it. humbert humbert is disgusting and dolores definitely deserves a lot more than what she went through with him. don’t get me wrong. i despise the main character with all my heart but this is such a well-written and beautifully-written book that i still come back to it every now and then to get some inspiration. it shows very good characterization and how an unreliable narrator can affect the perspective of the readers and the whole story in general. in literature’s perspective, it’s amazing. so beautiful, but vladimir nobokov didn’t read this to glorify or romanticize humbert humbert but to show how disgusting he is.

also, if any of you are planning to purchase this, i highly suggest buying the ones with a cover that doesn’t cater to the male gaze like certain body parts of a child, because that makes it seem like dolores was enticing humbert when it’s not. anyway, i hope you read it! but it’s okay if you don’t too. my copy of it has the same cover that caters to the male gaze because it’s hard to find one that doesn’t!

i was supposed to recommend some more like but my whole draft wasn’t saved for some reason :””) 

[queenofbaws]

Top five horror movies and/or books?

of COURSE you'd ask me one of the HARDEST questions in the WORLD!!!!!!!!

for real though, picking favs when it comes to horror is always so hard for me 😭 (AS ALWAYS WITH ANYTHING HORROR - please be sure to check a site like doesthedogdie for trigger warnings before picking any of these up!!!!!! lots of upsetting stuff in pretty much anything i recommend ever, lol)

house of leaves by mark z. danielewski (book). this one always makes the list because it just...it's just so good. it's a story within a story within a story within a story within a story, and i stg every time i read it i come away with something different. it's influenced my own writing so much, and just...it's literally the ONLY book i've EVER read that scared me so bad while i was reading it the first time that i had to like. find people to sit with to keep reading it lmao

the thing (1982; movie). this one ALSO always makes the list. oh. oh it's so worthy of it too. the thing is just like...my ideal horror movie. it's got everything a good horror movie should have: atmosphere, isolation, slow-growing dread, practical effects, a decapitated spider head monster thing that screams at you. i've probably watched this more than any other horror movie. and speaking of number of watches...........

hereditary (2018; movie). i've seen hereditary once. once. i'm not sure i intend on watching it a second time. maybe someday. there's a lot of horror out there these days that's centered on grief, but in my oh so humble opinion, hereditary is the granddaddy of all those. i cannot explain the emotions i experienced while watching this movie, lmfao. it was like...all of them. i'm pretty desensitized to most horror, and i'm very aware of that, but this movie? this movie right here? i was on the edge of my goddamn seat the whole way through, i watched parts of it through my fingers, and i was squeezing a pillow pretty much from the start to the end. it's so, SO fucking good. but it's also so, SO much.

the ruins by scott smith (book). i read this after watching the movie, and since the movie was kind of ehhh, i expected the book to be kind of ehhh too. it...it is not. BOYYYYY it is not ehhh at all. this book is fucking...terrifying. if you can't stomach body horror, don't even think about reaching for this, it is not FOR you. i LOVE body horror and there were some scenes that felt like they weren't even for ME sdklfjsdklfjd if you haven't seen the movie, or are unfamiliar with the premise, a group of american tourists and one very unfortunate german man find themselves at an old mayan ruin where a bunch of archeologists have recently gone missing. when they get there, uh...well, they find themselves stuck without any way of getting home, but they DON'T find any of the missing people. at first. then they do. then something finds them. it's. intense.

i'm thinking of ending things by iain reid (book). again, i decided to read this after watching the movie. the difference is...i really, really liked the movie, and so had very high expectations for the book. GOD DID IT DELIVER. this one is horror in a...different sort of way, and i'm not even sure everyone out there would classify it AS horror, but for me, it feels appropriate. it's a very personal kind of horror, the horror that comes with loneliness and regret, and a lot of it just really REALLY hit very close to home for me personally. it's absolutely beautifully written, and i think i've probably read it like...three times this past year alone. it's a short read, you can probably do it in one sitting if you've got a lazy day planned, and it's...GOD it's good. you'll probably cry, though, so be warned.

ask me my top 5 anything!

[upside-down-uni]

end of year reading tag!

I really don’t know where she takes the energy but our beloved Sab (@bulletnotestudies) made her own end of the year tag game! Thank you to @jeonchemstudy for also tagging me, I am beyong overjoyed that you enjoyed all the recs I’ve given you! Nothing hits quite the same as your taste in books being complimented.

Here comes my end of the year run down of my reading:

1. did you meet your reading goal?

I did! My goal was 40 books and I even surpassed it! Right now I’m working on book number 55.

2. top 3 books you read this year

....instead of ranking my top three I’ll just yeet some of my 5 star reads out there because how dare you make me choose Sab!! evil!

I reread Gideon the Ninth, so that is obviously on the list. If you haven’t read it I’m literally begging you to! There’s also The BrickTM aka The Priory of the Orange Tree, which I read after @hannistudies recommended it to me. A BLAST, I need more of this kind of books!! Irown Widow completely blew my socks off, I need the sequel NOW. (Oh and there’s this series “All for the Game”, which Sab and @asteristudy are completely normal about, so I read it too, and I am also very normal about it.)

3. what’s a book you didn’t expect to enjoy as much as you did

Yolk by Mary H. K. Choi or Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters. I was kind of scared of both but I thoroughly enjoyed them!

4. what books didn’t live up to your expectations?

What Big Teeth by Rose Szabo and Das Ministerum der Träume by Hengameh Yaghoobifarah. Both in different ways: What Big Teeth started out annoying me but in the end it kind of redeemed itself while Das Minisertium der Träume pulled me in from the first page but ruined itself through the ending.

5. did you reread any old faves?

I wouldn’t say “fave” but I reread book one and two of the Clockwork Series by Kady Cross. They hold up surprisingly well and I still enjoyed them!

6. did you dnf anything

Witches Steeped in Gold by Ciannon Smart just didn’t do it for me, I got about 100 pages in and was still bored.

7. did you read anything outside your preferred genre

I read The Southern Bookclub’s Guide to Slaying Vampires by Grady Hendrix which was my first “true” horror book. (thank you to @tungumalaast) I think gtn worked as a gateway drug lmao

8. what was your predominant format this year?

I read mostly physical books this year although most of the books I’ve read after October have been digital.

9. the longest book i read this year

I was going to say The BrickTM but then I checked my storygraph and The Nightblade Epic: Volume 1 by Garrett Robinson (which includes the first three books in the series) beats Priory of the Orange Tree by 2 pages.

10. your 3 most anticipated 2022 releases

NONA THE NINTH! Right now it’s 258 days until release, I will DIE before that! And the second book in the Iron Widow series is set to release in 2022 but I don’t know when!

Apart from that I haven’t really kept up with anything...I’ll let myself be surprised by what the knife gang will show up with and yell about on discord!

11. what books on your tbr did you not get to this year, but are excited to read in 2022?

Oh for sure! *storygraph checking noises*

I really wanted to read No Gods No Monsters by Cadwell Turnbull but didn’t get around to it after it came out earlier this year. Hunger Pangs by Joy Demorra is also very high on my list as is the Chaos Walking series by Patrick Ness. Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 has been chilling on my tbr for about 2 years now too... I will have a lot more time to read next year though.

I don’t really know who to tag outside of knife gang, so if you follow me, and fwant to do the tag: consider yourself tagged! I love seeing what and how others read!

[slayernina]

Rebel Robin: Surviving Hawkins Podcast

This podcast is the companion of the book of the same name. I recommend seriously to read the book first, since this isn’t the full story, but something to “expand” that universe. There are six conversations with her English literature teacher, during season 1 and 2. Both actors did a great job making the characters believe, and Maya Hawke’s voice and mannerisms are the stuff of my dreams. It sounds like a “real” scene of an episode, the conversations are profound but also natural. My only complaint is there aren’t any subtitles or transcriptions, so you will be fucked if you don’t know English.

Full spoilers under the cut.

My other metas here

La maldición de las cuatro brujas here

Una novela romántica de esas con un macizorro sin camiseta en la portada here

Buy me a ko-fi!

Episode 1: Our Town

Robin runs around high school until arrive to Mr. Hauser’s classroom. She was running from someone (presumably a bully). Mr. Hauser let her to stay there all she wants. Robin starts practicing French, so this is the beginning of Operation Croissant.

There’s isn’t any description of Mr. Hauser, nor photo of his voice actor, so I’ll take Robin Williams because why not.

They talk about Will’s disappearance, Mr. Hauser talked about him in his radio program. Robin acknowledges he is “different”. So yes, basically this is the more explicit way the show had to say he is gay (besides all the hints, the conversations between Joyce and Hopper in season 1, the bullies, the description of the character when it was still the “Mohauk” project, the line “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls”, etc. XD). Also they talk about Barb, Robin was a friend of hers until 4th grade. Robin knows everything about Nancy, including how she is dating Steve Harrington. She thinks Nancy exists “to protect” Barb.

The full concept of “Existing in Hawkins”, which is frequently described in the podcast and in the book as something that destroys people’s dreams and hopes, also as a monster that eats you alive. I like how the town is compared about the dichotomy of living a normal life, a normal sexuality and a literal monster. But even if you are “normal” you can be screwed here. “The town has teeth” and “Hawkins has monsters”, indeed. Mr. Hauser chims on the fact Robin isn’t interested in Tom Cruise in Risky Business.

They also talks about how Robin faints at the theather’s auditions. LOL. And how Tammy Thompson “nailed” her audition. She tried to turn the audition into a karaoke contest (lol again, specially if you read the book).

Robin toys with the idea of going to Europe. Mr. Hauser is on board, as long as she is doing because of personal growth, not because she is running from something or someone. That teacher can read minds.

Episode 2: Frankenstein 

Robin and Mr. Hauser starts their conversation about Frankestein and the nature of the monster. Robin goes in a rant about patriarchy and female writers, complaining about they have to read always mediocre males. Go Girl.

She also comments about the fact she cannot go “outside of the system”, since everything is the system, and Mr. Hauser couldn’t understand this, since he is part of the system. Smart conversation here, a debate about power.

Robin tells Mr. Hauser her parents and they think Robin is an easy kid. She told him about the “parent panic” aka Will and Barb disappeared and they are acting like regular parents would do: forbidding her going alone at night. She tells him about Operation Croissant (her travel around Europe). Mr. Hauser suggests her to look for a traveling companion, for safety and for happiness reasons. He comments to about going with Dash, since he is the only one fof her friends that know about her Operation Croissant, but she refuses.

Robin complains about the fact everyone expect 15 years old girls to be obsessed with boys. There is a commentary here about social expectations of how everyone expect 15 years old girls to be obsessed with boys. She prefers to be interested on school and getting out of Hawkins instead of boys. Ah, the marvelous compulsory heterosexuality.

Then she talks about how Barb chose Nancy instead of her. I wish we could have seen more of this friendship. I hope Robin and Nancy will talk about Barb in season 4.

Nancy appears and has a conversation with Mr. Hauser about Barb. So more characters will appear in the podcast? Cool. Robin goes outside and runs straight into Steve. Steve is looking for Nancy and doesn’t know who Robin is lol. Nancy and Steve’s are not the actors, but the dub actors made a good impression of both characters.

Episode 3: The Inferno

While Robin is alone in Mr. Hauser’s classroom, he receives a phone call. I wonder how: I thought they were into a class, not Mr. Houser’s department/office, and cells didn’t exist back in those times. Whatever.

Robin picks up the phone and hears a menace. The phone caller realizes it’s Robin and warns her about him.

Coincidentally, thanks to Fear Street 1994 we have footage of Maya Hawke picking up a phone in a Scream fashion.

Mr. Hauser comes back and they talk about living in two worlds, like Dante Alighieri. Robin comments he is weird too, since no one in Hawkins care about curiosity, imagination and discovery. I’m glad she will meet Dustin next year, despite de age gap, I’m sure both will enjoy the curiosity voyage.

Robin talks about Tammy Thompson and how she sings. And how she is nice to everyone else, instead of being the “classic” popular girl. She is a mystery to be solved.

Mr. Hauser laughs about this and Robin comments how he makes a remark in everything she does. He proceeds then to encourage her to be outspoken and give her opinion in things, to don’t restraint herself.

Unexpected: Nancy comes to talk to Mr. Hauser about Barb. Robin feels jealous. According to this conversation, Barb came several times to Mr. Hauser to talk. He responds he can’t ignore other students if they come to see him. Robin thinks Barb runawayed and Mr. Hauser was the one that encouraged her. Ouch. Mr. Hauser is truly upset and sounds on the verge of crying. He accuses Robin to project her issues into her. Double ouch.

They part ways very angry. Mr. Hauser goes to the library, Robin receives another call in Scream style with “I know who you are”. The mysterious caller tells Robin she shouldn’t be around him.

Episode 4: Lord of the Flies

In the book, Dash tries to kiss Robin. She rejects him and runs away. This podcast happens just after, while Robin is wandering around and Mr. Hauser stops his car and gives her a ride. She explodes in the car about everything (Dash cheating on Kate, Operation Croissant, etc) and also how Hawkins is chewing her up.

She thinks something is broken with her, because she can’t keep friends. Interestingly, she uses the words “broken”, which are the words Max used in the Runaway Max book to describe Billy. Honey, you are not broken at all. Mr. Hauser insists in this. Mr. Hauser is awesome and I hope he and Mr. Clarke has a chat someday.

Robin talks about music with him, he is into Madonna. More references about how cool Tom Cruise is and how he likes crosswords. Gaydar exploding XD.

Robin talks about the phone calls, and Mr. Hauser is deeply worried about this. He tells her about how he had received such calls before, but he is in berserker mode because this is the first time someone menaces one of his students. Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Hauser is the stuff of my dreams. He deserves a place with Great Teacher Onizuka, Koro Sensei and Izumi Curtis.

Episode 5: The Outsiders

While Robin is working at the cinema, Kate and Dash appear. They go inside. More references to Tom Cruise in The Outsiders (they are truly obsessed with him here lol). Mr. Hauser appears for the session, too.

A brief appearance of Robin’s coworker Keri. She is as cool as her name sounds. She comments about how Robin is the 3rd wheel.

Robin goes outside and see Dash following Mr. Hauser. There was any doubt yet about the one who made the calls? What an asshole. They see Mr. Hauser entering into a car with another man (yes, it’s Mr. Hauser’s boyfriend. It is never said but we know). Dash warns Robin against him again, because he is a “different” teacher. Robin doesn’t has a clue about what he is talking about and gets angry at him because he left his date with Kate to go on full Sherlock after their teacher.

Episodee 6: The Lottery

The last podcast starts with another creepy phone call. Robin enters in with a cookie, super happy, but she quickly reads the room. Mr. Hauser is really, really tired of this situation. Robin realizes it’s Dash the one of the calls and tells him, because he saw her taking his ride.

Mr. Hauser freaks out for a bit, until it was clear Robin thinks Dash is against him because she is a minor, and he is her teacher, and all that jazz. Despite all my hate about Dash, I give him the cookie points here, finally someone says explicitly that “age gaps” matters, romance with teachers and Lolita is shit, and he is truly concerned about Robin’s wellbeing. 

Anyway, Mr. Hauser is relieved because Robin doesn’t get he is gay. It doesn’t matter, because he tells her anyway. The guy she saw with him it’s “that kind of friend” (aka his boyfriend). Robin pulls a Steve here and takes her time, but she is supportive. Good Girl, Robin.

Then, the shocking revelation of this episode: Barb knew! She saw them one morning before school, but she kept the secret and talked from time to time with Mr. Hauser. I bet about her crush with Nancy. Gays Assemble!

Robin doesn’t want Dash to get on his way with his phone calls, so she pulls the fire alarm and blames Dash. LOL. Mr. Hauser, encouraged by Robin, uses “the system” on his side, warning Dash to stop with his bullshit. He accedes. Epic. After this trap, Robin collides with Steve accidentally, who is trying to win Nancy back. There is a small conversation about if Steve has more layers or not. Bitches, he was already in Mom Steve mode XD.

Both talk again about Operation Croissant. Mr. Hauser is smiling all the way because he gets Robin has a crush on Tammy Thompson (her future chosen partner for the travel) but she didn’t realized that yet. Awww.

The book describes her as a Molly Ringwald lookalike.

Then, he recommends her to read The Lottery (a female writer) and gives her the Russian dictionary we see on season 3. Thank you, Mr. Hauser! You will make the Scoops Troop solve the mystery! :D

Unfortunately, in the book Mr. Hauser will abandon the high school in January. Maybe even if Dash stopped the calls, surely the rumour was already floating around. Or just Mr. Hauser did damage control and choose to get out before anything horrible happens. They don’t know yet, but they say goodbye in the most heartfelt manner. Damn. I don’t want to cry, Only Teacher That Rules In Hawkins and Weirdest Girl in Hawkins.

The podcast finish with Tammy Thompson calling Robin to go to their next class.