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elane-in-the-shadows · 6 months ago

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Red Queen Fan Fiction - A Promise Under Flowers

May 13th - Happy Birthday, Diana Farley

A/N 1: Here’s also a new story for her! Featuring Jealous Shade included for @elliemarchetti who’s been asking for this for years. Taking place during Glass Sword chapter 19.

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A Promise Under Flowers

Lightning surged from Mare’s hand through the sky and when it hit their silver hunters and their transports, it exploded with Cal’s fire setting them alight. Curses burned Farley’s tongue. Combined, Mare’s and Cal’s powers covered a distance that secured their escape, yet the necessity of escape meant another failure to save newbloods and their families, a loss against Maven.

Farley had stayed a little apart, up on the lookout for more enemies, gun ready. Now she joined the running team, still peeking over her shoulder as Cal and Mare reached her.

Both were out of breath yet appeared awed by their own co-work, Cal nicely rumpled and Mare frizzy with electricity, a shine in her eyes that could turn into a happy smile, if they didn’t face defeat.

Cal approached Farley, touching her arm. “It’s a trap, a tactic I recognize. We have to retreat.” Quickly, he shared rough instructions to proceed, keeping to glance at Mare. Casting aside thoughts of the newbloods they’d at best leave behind to fend for themselves, to maybe be killed or taken hostage, Cal was all professional, knowing what to say, if not for the touch of her arm. Strange he touched her, not Mare, when their longing was palpable. Yet so were the sparks around Mare. Not the time to set her on fire.

“Okay, get the Blackrun ready,” Farley concluded.

“Shouldn’t Shade be back yet?” Mare interjected.

Farley froze. She’d relaxed about him, trusting in his self-preserving ability but if the silvers set a trap, they could’ve caught him with the newbloods.

“… I should’ve gone with him,” she muttered.

Mare gestured. “We get to him now.”

She nodded even though Cal looked dubious. He shook it off; they couldn’t leave Shade behind. Farley handed him a radio. “You know our codes, message us if necessary.” He understood, adding further directions on how to move through the town.

Hopefully, Farrah and Harrick could hide the plane long enough. Hopefully, Shade was alive.

Dashing through the unknown streets was difficult enough, having to rely on the prince’s military teachings. What if Maven’s people varied the scheme? But Farley trusted Cal’s instincts, having learned his and hers worked the same way. She ran with Mare to the newbloods’ home, recalling their data. A man, 58, a woman, 29. A house on heather street. They twisted around corners and climbed fences, hoping to evade any sentinel pursuers. Fighting back would just draw more foes.

Yet as they arrived at the place, they found only two corpses, an elderly couple.

Farley cursed. She was already on the stairs when Mare called her – to the outside. She rushed away – finding Shade bloody and unconscious on a street two houses away.

“Check him!” Mare demanded in a whisper-snarl. She didn’t dare approach, again loaded with sparks. She’d planted herself on the earth to ground herself and charge off. Mare was seducingly powerful yet every day Farley witnessed how it isolated her.

Farley was already next to Shade before she realized how she’d moved there, her hand on his neck. “You promised me forever, you liar,” she hissed.

Nervously, Mare glanced around as Farley was desperate to find his pulse. “We need to get away, we should carry –”

“Before we know how injured he is?” Farley retorted. She could call Cal back, with a few others, though how long would that take? But Shade was breathing, his heartbeat singing to her. She noticed no strongly bleeding wounds yet when he finally reacted, looking into her eyes, it almost melted her heart.

“Silvers …” he groaned. “Attacked … took them out.”

Mare had finished charging herself off and risked a dash around to recon. “Two dead,” she confirmed, and joined them, gripping Shade’s hand. Her gentleness hit Farley.

“Dee,” he urged, slightly recovered. Almost more than me. Farley had to wash it off for good, he was alive.

“Yes,” she agreed, “Get us gone.” Despite their fears, he appeared relieved.

Back on the Blackrun, they could only conclude Shade fainted because of an ability, not a hit or concussion. He would not be able to teleport with such an injury, he said. But he was covered in bruises and his still healing ankle again so twisted he’d need get his crutches back. Farley was thorough with her ministrations and could hardly bring an end to them, even after checking their comrades, to Shade’s irritation.

“Don’t look at me like I might drop dead,” he chided.

Could she be sure he wouldn’t? He’d been hit by a strongarm before he jumped away to kill them and their companion.

They shouldn’t have sent him alone to gather the newbloods but their forces – if they could call them such – were spread thin with several defeats in a row, resulting in injuries, now including Shade. Farley was embarrassed his near loss affected her so, after so much death. When she tried to remember their marks that day, she couldn’t imagine the corpse seen in a hurry was the young woman on their list. Where was she, had she hidden in the town, left behind by Mare and their team, barely escaping Maven?

They didn’t have time to wonder. Mare was as protective as Farley when she pressed for another mission the next day – and leaving Shade behind. Only to arrive to dead bodies again. The day after, they were trapped by their own Whistle associate and found a whole murdered family. Mare freaked out over the dead baby so Farley could barely process it herself. Instead the memory settled in her bones and when she felt sick, it began to taste differently.

She knew she couldn’t afford to chew – or choke – on that. Even if … no matter.

Shade held her at night, aware of her own dead, and shared the weight of his. His pride gambled with his ability, letting him miss how strong he was. How fatal, like the day of his newest injury. He despised using it to kill, and did it anyway.

She could tell him there might be more than duty between them. How she wished for it. Still she let that option wither like she was afraid to answer herself.

Mare had another newblood on their list, reminding them of urgency, the chance to be quicker than Maven.

“Only after confirming his movements,” either Cal or Farley would insist each time, soon flowing back into their routines, Cal with the research, Farley maintaining the notch.

Going through the base’s corridors, she followed Nanny bringing out provisions to the rooms until she closed up to the old woman and stopped dead. “Not need to exaggerate my diligence, Nanny,” Farley called out with a chuckle when she faced her.

Wearing Farley’s features.

Nanny raised her hands, empty now. “Well, I’m done anyway.”

Farley shook her head. “Your ideas for mischief know no bounds.”

“My deceit, my dear,” Nanny countered, lifting one finger to chastise. “I am a weapon with many skills.”

“Absolutely.” Farley bit back a laugh and tucked Nanny by the sleeve. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

Nanny’s brows rose in expectation and Farley supressed her irritation about the topic, as well as facing herself. Her own surprised face was an unusual sight indeed.

Just get it done and say it.

“Your family didn’t appear on our list,” she began, “and as no newbloods, the Guard evacuated them.”

Nanny’s face clamed, waiting.

“So you never … none of them, your children, or grandchildren, showed any abilities?”

Crossing her arms, Nanny stared. “If they weren’t on your list?”

I’m not cowed by my own glare. Farley shrugged. “It was the first time anyone looked for newblood markers. They might be more to it we don’t know yet.”

“Hm.”

“No sign ever, Nanny?”

A shift moved through Nanny, having nothing to do with changing shape. Her gaze went over Farley, toe to head and when their eyes met, Farley didn’t see herself, but the old lady, giving her, undeniably, what had to be called a mom’s stare.

“Why would you, of all people, be so curious about this, Captain?”

She met her own face, so similar to her dead mother, when no had looked at her like that, with this mix of caring and teasing, for several years. Startled, Farley stepped back, barely managing to catch herself. Not fast enough. “I have to plan ahead, take responsibility,” she offered, poorly.

Now Nanny grabbed her by the arm. Her voice was quiet. “And are you doing that …?”

She only felt blood rushing to her head. She needed space to breathe, to think. Even though she knew. Looking down, she said. “I have to be sure.” In truth, she had preferred ignorance, not having to choose. Not worrying over nothing or a misassumption, or rashly reject when she craved to embrace. Not getting attached to what might get lost before it thrived.

This period of waiting should’ve ended with the dead baby yesterday.

Farley straightened, returning to business. “No need to hurry about this topic, Nanny. But if you remember anything –”

“I have no issues with my memories, ma’am.”

It pulled a chuckle from her throat. “Of course not,” she said, and turned around – to run into Shade.

Nanny laughed out loud and Farley, her hand grabbing Shade’s jacket to keep each other from stumbling, glanced back to find Nanny finally returned to her own form. “I’ve been waiting just for this,” Nanny said.

“What?”

With a pat on her shoulder, Nanny made to leave. “See true love recognize the right bride,” she whispered, as if she was narrating a fucking fairy tale.

“I’m not –”, Farley snapped but Nanny was already gone and Shade, right in front of her, blinked as he stabilized his footing, even as he had let go of one crutch.

“What was that?” he asked.

“She –” Farley gathered her bearing, helping him put weight off his weak side. She shook her head, taking Shade’s free hand. “She was delighted to test if you could tell us apart.”

“Hm.” He freed his hand and raised it, his fingers gliding, awfully slow, to her jaw, cupping it as if to inspect her to be sure. An excited shiver ran through her. “The face is flawless, now that you say…” He smirked and one long finger lifted her by the chin so her mind went through the times those fingers made her body sing. His face inched forward, neither closing the distance to a kiss, nor finishing his sentence.

She fixed his eyes in return and that was all they did for then, a pull that froze time.

She swallowed eventually and felt his fingers twitch in reply, his thumb stroking her jawline. She indulged to stay in the frozen moment, to sink into his amber eyes and drink the longing shining in them. “You can have me in whichever way you want,” she said.

His fingers twitched and he blinked. He didn’t retreat but time went on again.

She frowned, stepping back and glancing away, reaching for the dropped crutch. “Did you walk here?” she asked as she handed it to him.

“No, I …” Awkwardness had fallen between them and Farley regretted her advance. It had felt so true to her. In that moment, it was the one right thing she wanted to say. Was it wrong?

Shade pulled himself together, fixing his hold on the crutches. “I teleported. So I cheated, I guess, Jumped straight to you, rather than Nanny.”

Farley nodded, already moving away, back to her lists, preparations and schedules. And yet. “You couldn’t tell us apart by sight?”

He only smiled. It was a promise.

One duty pursued the next. When Farley wasn’t checking the notch and its inhabitants, she organized their training, looked for news on Maven’s movements and assaults, relocated people and ordered their resources. Another assignment loomed for the evening, Mare insisted on it. No one could talk her out of any of them, and what could Farley say? Gathering intel before striking was the only reasonable argument. She already had a hard time moving on from the people they failed to save. She understood Mare’s rush, knew how it was to prefer the fire of action over freezing hesitation – until it burned you.

The demand of their work began to sizzle, she realized even as she went through several lists at the same time just checking their food supplies before the operation. She needed the mundane distraction of it. The sight of that dead baby … it had hit Mare more than anything else in the last weeks. When they’ found it. Afterwards, Mare had returned to steel. That shocked Farley. That moment, Farley’s battle mind was still on as she urged Mare to escape. Only later, the memory made her sick as it ate through her, mixing with her own worries. To witness Mare do the opposite was unsettling.

Farley could be distantly pragmatic in the heat of adrenaline and necessity, and she’d repeated the drill countless times in the last 5 years – ignoring her heart. And her heart, horrifyingly, wondered what would be if she saw her own family slaughtered again. Her own child, that might not exist. She couldn’t even start to imagine. Wouldn’t she be better off without? Yet she found no relief in discovering to be mistaken, only plummeting loneliness.

Meanwhile, Mare moved on, striding into mission after mission like it was the sole thing to do. Maybe it was. Didn’t Farley do the same, filling every minute with work –

“I can take it from here.”

Farley’s head spun to Ada, joining her in the food stash. “I have my system.”

Ada chuckled, taking her by the shoulders. “Yes, I’ve figured it out.”

“You … of course you did.” Farley shook her head. Ada resembled Shade, in the way she glided through their unjust world proudly, with a powerful secret. And Ada was smarter than everyone else, too. She had these perfect manners that flustered Mare, Shade and Kilorn sometimes, but not Farley. Ada’s formality paired with her skills made her the queenliest person Farley could imagine.

She sighed, putting down her pen and papers. “You don’t need to double check.”

Ada merely smiled. “No need to double check,” she agreed, brushing Farley’s arm. “But about the Blackrun …”

“Yes, the Blackrun.” Farley rolled her eyes. “Good I didn’t plan for a break.”

“Glad to share work with you, Captain,” Ada said in goodbye.

A queen indeed, commanding and delegating.

Since the operation was already scheduled, Mare didn’t hound her to argue for it. It was a poor relief, aware that Mare had her expectations anyway. Maybe she was training instead, improving what she and Cal and the other newbloods developed as combo attacks, a thrilling advantage against silvers. Meanwhile, Farley was backup, in this case inspecting the Blackrun for water, armour, weapons, clothes, first-aid-kits, maps, cleaning – with the plane newly daily in use, someone had to take care of this. Just get this done and she could have an early meal and catch a nap. Securing the last first-aid-kit, she stepped on the ramp when a gush tickled her neck.

She spun to find Shade, reclined on a seat, legs stretched out.

He looked up to her, both wired and exhausted. “You have a moment?”

She breathed out. “For you, of course.”

He pointed to his injured leg. “I tried to convince Mare to take me along tonight but she refused.”

“And I should check if you’re healed enough to prove her wrong?”

He shrugged. “Please.”

With a tsk, she retrieved the first-aid-kit and crouched in front of him. The thing was so necessary it was already back in use. “I’m not sure who’s more protective of the other,” she muttered as she delicately undressed his foot, bending it slightly in all directions.

“And where do you fit in?” he asked. His fingers tapped on his knee.

“Being objective, I hope. So Mare believes me and you listen.”

“Oh no, you never tease me at all, don’t you?” he taunted.

Her head jerked up from removing his bandages. “What?” Of course she did, joking with him, but obviously so. She was as honest as she could … dare.

“You totally flustered me before, you know, don’t you?” Shade said.

She swallowed. “I …”

“Saying things like that ... what was that supposed to mean? What do you expect me to do?” He was genuinely upset and yet – it felt like rejection. She had meant it, baring her heart. But what each of them understood was another matter.

She continued her examination, testing his bare ankle now. He winced. “I’m … sor – sad to have confused you.” She held on to his ankle, drawing circles on his skin. She had spoken true, and now had to search for other words. She wasn’t sorry, didn’t want to apologize.

She looked up. “I don’t expect anything of you, that’s what I meant. I’d be … glad to hear your wishes. Try them out.” Back to bandaging, she gathered the supports he needed and started rewrapping.

He grunted. “That’s not what I got. I thought, ‘what could she want, this gorgeous older woman? What could she know that I have no idea of? Have I not been enough?’”

“Shade.” Even as she raised her head, she was flushing hot. Could he really have understood the opposite?

His fingers stopped their drumming, reaching for her hand on his leg. “You must have an idea of how impressive you are. Tall, beautiful, strong, a soldier brave and cunning.” He grimaced. “Scary. And experienced.” Meeting her eyes, he froze – and swallowed. “I mean, I didn’t know if you’d even notice me … as a flirt. And you didn’t, for long. I thought you must have lovers in the Scarlet Guard, most of all –”, he took a breath. “You’re so… stunning. How would I compare?”

Listening with growing surprise, she squeezed his hand to end his ramblings. “But I’m not. Experienced. Not in that way.” His eyes widened and she leaned back, crossing her arms. “Yet, aren’t you? From what Mare and Kilorn say?”

“Um.”

“Are they wrong?” She pinned him with a glare. It was uncomfortable and they had to get through this. Be honest, righting misassumptions.

Finally, he breathed out. “I’ve flirted. Kissing. Hookups. Pining. A boyfriend when I was 16. But nothing … out of the ordinary.” His face burned as much as hers. “And you … you were a long chase.” He smiled.

Softened, she inclined her head. “Because I need to. To be … chased.” She let the word hang on her tongue, testing it.

It was accurate enough.

“I’ve admired my girlfriend Giselle for 4 years before I realized I was in love with her. Even longer before we became a couple. After we broke up …” Death. Homelessness. Loss. The Cause. “I focused on the Guard for 4 years. I didn’t want anyone, even when I had sex two times.”

She’d engaged when her comrades celebrated, reciprocated flirting, even kisses at times, and when her arousal aligned with the occasion, she had taken to bed a woman, a man. And yet, despite those seconds of pleasure, she’d registered no desire for her partner, no lasting wish to be with any person, to do it again. She came to conclude her arousal showed as a physical need, a bodily function in line with her cycle she would better take care of herself, like hunger or thirst.

Only Shade had left her divided, confusing her heart so she assumed it a liar. She used to know the truth: Live for the fight.

“In several years,” Farley said, “I’ve only desired to be with you, to touch you, stay with you, wishing for more. You were a risk I had to figure out. And you waited for me as I took time, didn’t let go when I needed a tether. You took me as a I am and yet you changed me, so I wanted to gamble. You challenge me, all the time, and I want you to keep doing it. In every way.” Their eyes fixed on each other, piercing so hard Shade blushed deeply with the insinuation.

He bent forward and touched her shoulder. “But if you don’t like it?”

She snorted, relaxing her posture. “I suppose scary me will say no then. Or if you’re not good at it,” she added quietly.

That took him aback. “And that’s what I meant! Would I meet your expectations? Get close to you when you’re already close with so many others? Was I to your taste? I noticed you liked me, but in what way? Was I a fool to you? You were so easy with Tristan, so naturally physical I thought you must have been a couple forever. How could I ever be what he already was to you? I wondered how I compared to him every time he talked to me. I didn’t have his muscles, am smaller, thinner, can’t carry you or lift you against a wall – why are you looking like that?!”

She had failed to avoid an aghast expression, causing Shade’s suspicion. With a sigh, she reached for his hand yet needed to gather herself before meeting his eyes, “We’re being true today, aren’t we?” she said. “I’ve been with someone else once, but … also with Tristan.”

Shade looked like he’d been stabbed, to her embarrassment. He’d been right with his worries but also … not. “Like, for an hour, and didn’t care to repeat it, ever again.”

It hardly helped, his shock was too great. He must not have expected to have been right. “You and him …” Shade shook his head. “You were so easy-going, trusting, touching all the time …”

Farley sat up, cupping his cheek. “Because there was no desire between us. We … tried, and didn’t want that. We moved beyond it. If we could do that, part ways and still work together …”

“Do that …” Shade repeated and she didn’t like to think about the pictures in his head now. Her hand brushed his skin, and she added her other to play with his soft, ever-growing hair.

“Have you not listened?” she whispered, and pulled more sweet nothings from thin air. "You're so handsome, your sight gets me through the day, until I can't bear any minute I'm not touching you ..." Her words, her touch, sharing breaths, she put all in to dissemble his jealousy until he recovered, clasping her wrists and finally realizing how near she was, close enough to kiss. He almost did, leaning back at the last moment. “I get it,” he whipered.

Their foreheads touched, even as a shiver ran through him and he cleared his throat. “All this about a dead man,” he muttered.

That erased the foolishness of the moment. Farley held on to him tighter, grounded again on the Blackrun’s floor, waiting for a mission to start, with him, injured.

“Can’t have you end like that as well,” she murmured.

“So you finally promise to not get me killed?” he replied, breaking away to find her gaze.

Her cheek twitched. “Well, in this case, I can’t let you join today,” she said. “You still wince from your aches with every move and your ankle should rest another day or three.”

He groaned, his posture slumping. “If you, Mare and the rest look after yourselves.”

She shifted, fingers combing through his hair to cup the back of his head. Now he glanced up to her. “You don’t look enough after yourself. Almost like I can’t leave you alone.”

With a self-deprecating smile, he closed his eyes. “But you can’t say I’m a terrible soldier in every way.” His eyes opening, he added, “I’d ask for something to look forward to, but this wrecked” – he grimaced – “I’m not sure what I can offer.”

She sucked in a breath at his tease. “Your mouth will do,” and while she blushed, he giggled at the – unintended – double-meaning.

Fingers traced her face again. “In every way, you said,” he said, considering. “I’ll tell you an idea, for the time being.” Gliding off the seat, he sank to his knees and embraced her waist.

“In May, on your birthday, when lilac and wisteria bloom, I will find you, lured by the violets in your eyes, into a porch under the flowers whose shadows throw intricate patterns on your skin, tangled with your curls. I’ll kiss you, on the cheek, and trace the blossoms’ shadows down your neck, your breasts, your legs, your belly and – enveloped in their scent – I will taste what’s sweeter: the bloom or the flowers between your thighs.

“Do you like that?”

She’d forgotten everything but his voice and the images he created, despite the stress she’d felt this day, no, the last weeks. When she regained words, she answered, “It’s enough for now.” What a dream that was, to think of seven months from now. That was as good as forever but time and space left as they kissed. She wished he’d always chase her like this.

A/N 2: I’ve wanted to explore Farley being demi for a while since I do think it fitting her yet I was also irked that the label would mark her as a widowed mother who should stay chaste, faithful and single forevermore. I’ve written other stories where she doesn’t do that so it appears balanced to me telling it this way, just adding another angle to her. Writing this for her birthday, I’ve listened about 800 times to my number one Fade song, Lacey Sturm’s “Faith”, for inspiration, and heavily referenced it in the story. It still hits me. I love these two so much.

@nortaeventcouncil @lilyharvord @mareshmallow @lucy-the-cat @justagirlwholovesstories @averyboterham @imsorryistilllovemaven @groysinjapan @eliimaii @readytolearnmore @maudthebookeater @petergrantkavinsky @freaky-freiday

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