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mbti-sorted · 4 years ago

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I think a lot of people don't think of introvert and extrovert in the same way as you. I notice quite a few extroverts are like "I like alone time," or "People are dumb/annoying," or "I don't really talk a lot," so they consider themselves to be introverts.

Anonymous said to mbti-sorted:

You’ve mentioned the double meaning of ‘extrovert’ and ‘introvert’ (how we confuse the social definition, with having an I/E first function), but you also sometimes use the terms when discussing how you typed a person, without referring to a function; which makes me wonder, what makes a person look like an extrovert or introvert to you? Is it focus? Energy? Social graces?

Basically what I’m using to differentiate between I and E is amount of presence in a room and how much effort is going into projecting it (as an example of too much effort to be an extravert, I’m thinking of some ISFPs who are like: *sparkle intensifies*, or ISFJs who are like, “most people think I’m quiet, but I’m really quite gregarious!! (!!!)” ). It’s not what I expected to be looking at when I started typing, but things like eye contact and speed of thought/speech did not actually end up working. I think, while difficult to explain or quantify, this way feels very consistent when I look through the tags from other directions as well - the introverts also share things like the types they choose in relationships. And those types are different from the types extraverts choose. (There are patterns in other life choices made as well.)

I went to look up a couple of things and ended up on a short research bender, so I will throw up some links to keep it in one place.

The introversion/extraversion wikipedia article. Because where else would you start, right? Basically every psychologist has a slightly different definition, and there are lots of interesting experiments that have been conducted, all of which I take with a grain of salt because I can’t tell how they determine whether their subjects are E or I in the first place.

Introvert definition on dictionary.com. A verb from the 1600s (ie, to introvert your thoughts) until Jung used it as a noun in the 1900s. He thought of E/I as the extremes on a scale, though, where introverts were shut-ins, extraverts couldn’t shut up (so to speak) and everyone who was functioning normally was an ambivert.

The Myers & Briggs Foundation. The official take. I guess they’re responsible for the dichotomy (?), since they don’t allow for ambiversion.

The Majority of People Are Not Introverts or Extroverts by Caroline Beaton. An argument for ambiversion (for fair representation).

A Giant Step Back for Introverts by Nancy Ankowitz (2010). So you may or may not be aware that introversion was considered a personality disorder. I was wondering how many introverts actually saw psychologists about being introverts, though, and my guess is not that many? Since I doubt most of them felt it was a problem and the ones who did were probably hiding it? I was also wondering for how long it was a thing (at least 30 years?) and when it changed (apparently, 2012, which - yikes!).

Breaking News! Introversion is not a Disorder! by Beth Bulow (2012). Only eight short years ago...

Introverted Disorder of Childhood. 2009 ICD-9-CM Diagnosis Code 313.22 & Introverted Personality. 2010 ICD-9-CM Diagnosis Code 301.21. Reading through these, I think the symptoms are very... varied indicators of actual problems (depression or anxiety, for example), but unless you’re also pathologizing extravert (and saying ambivert is the norm), then you shouldn’t be using introvert as an umbrella term to describe mental disorder, anyway. It’s like they got stuck in the middle of mbti, jung and popular bias and couldn’t ascribe to one theory long enough to keep their definitions consistent, so I’m glad they changed this.

Google Search: Books on Introversion. In any case, it was not socially the done thing to consider yourself an introvert for a long time (although the mbti was first published in 1962, and it was definitely popular to type as an INF by the time I got into it in 2005), but here we are in 2020 and the publishing industry has definitely caught up to mbti. I was looking for publishing dates of books about introversion to see when it took off. The main list has a couple from as far back as the 90s (I had to click on each book individually to find out so I think it really started slowly gaining traction around 2008, but I don’t want to check again to make sure). There’s a list of 92 Best Introvert books of all time! which are all from 2014 on. I very cynically went to youtube to see if the authors were actually introverts in the mbti sense... (some are, some aren’t)

At some point I looked up the percentage of people in the world who needed glasses. I think I was wondering what percentage of the population had to be afflicted by something before it stopped being stigmatized?? Not that introversion is an affliction, but anyway, I didn’t really manage to make this go anywhere useful.

Scott Barry Kaufman on What Introversion Really Is… on the Creative Introvert Podcast. He’s a Big Five psychologist (ENTP) who thought he was an introvert originally and then realized he was a Neurotic Extravert.

Will the Real Introverts Please Stand Up? by Scott Barry Kaufman. He’s citing studies where extraversion equals high in enthusiasm and assertiveness, and introversion is being low in both. It kind of reminds me of the reverse of the HSP research into introversion and risk aversion. I don’t know that I particularly ascribe to either of these ideas (I always wonder how many different mbti types, particularly INs, they manage to get in studies), but they’re both interesting. I got ambivert on his test, and laughed a bit, but I also looked into Big Five again, since I mostly forgot all about it. I might post about it later since it crosses over with mbti in ways I wasn’t expecting.

[Rerun] Susan Cain and the Quiet Revolution: Unlocking the Power of Introverts on Scott Barry Kaufman’s Psychology podcast. So I guess Susan Cain has a background in Big Five, too? She deliberately wrote her book with the popular definition in mind (ie the list of traits - quiet, reserved, likes to be alone, reads a lot, etc.) in order to change institutional spaces (companies, schools) so that they would make allowances for introverted preferences. Which... great! I guess it muddies the waters, a bit, when mbti typing and people are using the popular definition, but social change that makes things better for introverts, and ‘introverts’ (and won’t hurt the extraverts, either!) sounds like a pretty good thing.

#not a typing post #E I E I oh

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cptsdstudyblr · 4 years ago

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About Me (July 2020) (January 2021)

What’s up folks!! In about the past week I hit 350 750 followers and now I’m getting close to 400 1000, which is just insane! I’m so grateful that I’m able to make posts that so many people find interesting, helpful, or enjoyable and I appreciate each one of you so much! I realized the other day while going back through my posts to add image descriptions to some older posts that the last time I made an introductory post was when I was at 50 followers. That was in October of last year, and when I reread that post, I didn’t think it was a good representation of me as a whole person, so I wanted to create a new one rather than updating that previous one. I know that I love reading this kind of post because I like knowing who the person I’m following is, so hopefully that has the same effect for some of you.

Basic Introduction:

Hi!! I’m the person behind @cptsdstudyblr and I also have a personal blog @personneawesome where I don’t post quite as much. I am non-binary, and I generally use they/them pronouns, but I’m not super picky about pronouns. I was born in 2000 and am currently 20 years old. I just finished my second year of university studying computer science at a major US university, and I will most likely (pending the pandemic) spend got to spend this fall studying abroad in Seoul, South Korea before returning to my home school.

New addition: January 2021 - I’m actually no longer a computer science student! I’m changing schools and majors drastically, and I think I’ll be so much happier!

Education & Language History:

My education history is a little unusual, but since this is a studyblr I’ll go ahead and explain it. For pre-K and the beginning of elementary school, I attended a French International School, which is part of the French public school system. After that, I ended up moving and being unable to enroll in an international school, so I was homeschooled through the CNED and essentially did my elementary school education through a mail-in version of the French public school system. Then, in middle school, I was homeschooled in English and took a few courses through a homeschool co-op in my area. I then went to a private Christian school for high school. Although my education was fairly religious, I have since left Christianity and don’t subscribe to any religion.

As far as languages go, I have two native languages (French & English) because I am French Cajun. Unfortunately, due to my schooling background I speak standard French rather than Louisiana French. I have also learned Spanish most of my life and live in a part of the US where about 50% of the population speaks Spanish, so I use Spanish a ton on a regular basis. I wouldn’t say I’m fluent in Spanish, but I don’t have many issues in everyday scenarios. I’m also currently learning German and Korean, but I’m not close to fluent in either of those languages.

Hobbies & Personality:

I like to think of myself as a kind person who puts others first and is respectful and accepting of all people. I think my friends would describe me as cheerful, talkative, and gentle. I’ve also been told that I am someone that people feel very comfortable and safe around, which I hope is true. However, I am very shy and am not likely to talk to people I don’t know. I’m also much less cheerful when I’m alone or with someone I’m super close with. If you’re someone who is interested in personality types, I am an ISFJ-T and an enneagram type 4. I don’t think personality tests like that are all that accurate and certainly shouldn’t be used to define a person, but I think they are a useful exercise and can facilitate learning about oneself.

When it comes to hobbies and interests, I struggle a lot more to define myself. When I was in high school, I was a band kid and I did robotics, which left me little time for other hobbies. I’m still very interested in music, and I love listening to music and making music. My current favorite bands are Stray Kids and Panic! at the Disco. My robotics hobby translated into my major, which is computer science. Other than that, I like writing, attempting to do art, studying public transit and urban design, and playing simulation video games. I also spend a lot of time on YouTube and Netflix, but I don’t think that counts as a hobby.

Health (Mental & Physical) Information:

Since it’s relevant to this blog, I want to be open about my health struggles. Normally I don’t talk about these a lot (except with close friends), but I think it’s useful to be honest in this situation.

As far as mental health goes, I have CPTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder), anxiety, depression, sensory issues, and just generally bad mental health. I also believe based on thorough research that I most likely have autism and/or ADHD, but I hesitate to self-diagnose something like that and would never claim to definitively be neurodivergent without a diagnosis.

When it comes to physical health, I have hEDS (hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) and POTS (Postural Orthopedic Tachycardia Syndrome). Since these are considered rare and aren’t super well-known, I’ll provide a brief explanation. hEDS causes hypermobility, joint instability (including easy and frequent dislocations), pain, and some other nasty stuff. POTS causes your heart rate to rise very high when you stand, and can cause people to faint.

#introduction #about me #cptsd #anxiety #depression #sensory issues #mental health #mental illness #heds #eds #pots #chronic illness #chronic pain

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 5 years ago

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I’ve gotten a lot of asks about the enneagram/MBTI breakdown of likelihood, so I’m going to try to expand a bit, in no particular order. Some repetition from the original post will be here because people don’t read so saying things a bunch of times increases the chances that they’ll see it once.

One thing that is absolutely essential to understand is that enneagram cores are a zero-sum game. Which is to say: even allowing for some error bars, something like two-thirds of INTPs are type 5. That means at most a third can be any other type, so obviously no other type will be remotely as common. So I might refer to another INTP enneatype as “competing with 5″ - it can’t be super common in INTPs because it’s drowned out by the 5s. You can’t have more than 100%.

Finally: this is going to be a long post but I think it’s better to not break it up as there will be references to all types across the board and I don’t want to interlink three or nine different posts. That said I’m going to make a “diagnosis” post for people who believe they are in the “check your typing” category.

Enneagram 1 is most heavily correlated with TJs because it fits with a certain rigidity and individualization of the moral code found in lower Fi users. It is particularly common in the IxTJs, and slightly more common in SJs than NJs. It’s found in the FJs as well but less so, possibly because 1s are often very critical, and certainly because it competes with 2 in the FJs. It’s very rare in perceivers across the board because 1 requires a certain adherence to external standards found in Te or Fe to avoid corruption; it’s also associated with perfectionism which is much more commonly a judger thing.

Enneagram 2 is heavily correlated with FJs because it’s about wanting to be loved, which fits very closely with the Fe desires for approval and belonging to a group and universally understood symbols of affection. It’s also found in the high Fi users - it’s less common, but still possible for all of them. It is really not found in thinkers; when thinkers want approval from others it is almost always in the form of competency, not love through service to others. Enneagram 2 is just...heavily in line with what it means to be a feeler in MBTI and in direct conflict, for the most part, with what it means to be a thinker.

Enneagram 3, and indeed the shame triad in general, is associated heavily with how other people see you. Enneagram 3 is particularly interested in standing out from the crowd so it’s much more common in extroverts, especially TJs, with significant FJ and ExTP representation (less so in the Fi-auxes). It’s a little more common in the NJs than the SJs; my guess is both that the SJs are competing with 1 and 6, and there’s something very high Ni/ low Se about projecting a specific distinguished persona. It’s found in the introverted judgers as well, though it’s far less common. Because it’s more common in NJs than SJs and TJs than FJs, it does fall off the radar for ISFJ.

Enneagram 4 is not the same as Fi but it does correlate strongly with high Fi; high Fi is interested more in authenticity and 4 is more interested in uniqueness, but the self-expressiveness and thirst for originality and individuality end up coinciding pretty frequently. Enneagram 4 is also found in the FJs; all the FJ types have decent shame triad representation, given that Fe is interested in the response they elicit in others and frequently want approval in some form or another. It’s competing with 2 and in some cases 3, so it’s often rarer, but it does show up. 4 is very rare in thinkers but it isn’t unheard of in the ExTPs. As for why specifically ExTPs, I suspect it’s first that their feeling is decent, and unlike with lower Fi which tends to turn inward (hence enneagram 1 in IxTJs) it tends to go outward looking for approval from others. Add that to the thirst for novelty in Se or Ne, and you get a small but extant number of ExTP 4s.

Enneagram 5 is in a way analogous to 2 but for thinkers; if your response to fear is to try and back off and try to comprehend it and learn logical and factual tools, rather than seeking out other people or distracting from it, you are almost certainly a thinker, and you are much more likely to be an introvert. And so: it’s incredibly common in Ti-doms, pretty common in IxTJs, and not unheard of in the ExTJs or ENTP. It’s actually very rare in ESTPs too because it involves a withdrawal from the environment that is counter to Se-dom motivations.

Enneagram 6 is not unheard for anyone! As I’ve said elsewhere, I think trying to gather a real-world safety net of people and guidance is maybe the most fundamentally human response to fear. It’s super common. It is most common in the SJs and is the most common type overall for ISFJs.

Enneagram 7 is really highly correlated with dom Se or Ne. 7s are spontaneous and like to experience a lot of things, so this is unsurprising. As a result, 7 is less common in introverts or high Si or Ni users. It’s even more highly correlated with Se than Ne, so ISxPs are sometimes 7s, but the rest of the introverts are pretty much never 7. It’s rare in ESTJs and due to competing with 6 and 2, pretty much unheard of in ESFJs.

Enneagram 8 is much more likely in extroverts and in thinkers - most 8s are ExTxs. It’s very much about taking control of your own life within an environment, so it’s more associated with extroverted functions but particularly Se and Te. It’s also very much in conflict with dom Fi; the combination of Fi individuality and 8 independence play off the worst aspects of each other and so while it could happen, it’s really unlikely to be remotely functional as a combination.

Enneagram 9, rather like 6, is pretty universal. The one exception is Te-doms; dom Te tends to be far too forceful to mesh with the passiveness of enneagram 9. It’s an especially common enneatype for IxxPs and is pretty common among IxFJs as well.

#mbti #enneagram

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mirandasmbtivibe · 6 years ago

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Grey’s Anatomy: George O’Malley [ISFJ]

Dominant function: Si Auxiliary function: Fe Tertiary function: Ti Inferior function: Ne

Si (Introverted Sensing)- George prefers tried and true method ways of completing tasks. He isn’t very open to new things or change. He lives in the here and now, with interest in data and facts rather than ideas and possibilities. His observation and efficiency are what set him up to be a great surgeon. His humbleness and shyness keep him from reaching this potential.

Fe (Extroverted Feeling)- George cares deeply for his loved ones and would do anything for them. He works hard to save his patients. He shows Fe in being hurt by others poor perceptions of him. The greatest example of his use of Fe is jumping in front of a vehicle to save a girl, resulting in his horrible death.

Ti (Introverted Feeling)- George uses what he learns about others and connects it to what he already knows. He tries to understand Meredith, figure out diagnosis's, and the best way to treat his patients.

Ne (Extroverted Intuition)- We don’t see George get lost in ideas, theories, or possibilities much. He only imagines what life would be like if Meredith was his lover.

Note: George deserved better.

#greys abc #greys anatomy #george o'malley #isfj personality #mbti #shonda rhimes #isfj

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demoutd2511 · 3 years ago

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Personality Test

Blog Prompt #8 (Provided by Dr. Amanda Hooykaas): Find an online survey/questionnaire/quiz that you can participate in (it does not need to be formal) and complete it – the quality and honesty of your responses is up to you... what we want to hear about is the actual quality of the survey. Do not select a formal, credible questionnaire that will actually lead to a diagnosis as those are often very scrupulous in their wording and have already been vetted extensively. Please critically evaluate the survey/questionnaire/quiz (please provide us with the link to the page where you found it). What is the context? How well are the questions written? Might there be variety/ambiguity in the responses that lead to poor results? What are some strengths and weaknesses? How might it be improved (accessibility, wording, length, promotion, etc.). Please reference the course notes, the textbook, and the article itself. Remember, I expect you to be demonstrating a robust understanding of the course material at this point in time!

Context:

For this week’s post, I chose to do the 16personalities.com test. This test reveals which personality of the 16 best fits who you are. The 16 personalities include:

The Analysts

Architect (INTJ)

Logician (INTP)

Commander (ENTJ)

Debater (ENTP)

The Diplomats

Advocate (INFJ)

Mediator (INFP)

Protagonist (ENFJ)

Campaigner (ENFP)

The Sentinels

Logistician (ISTJ)

Defender (ISFJ)

Executive (ESTJ)

Consul (ESFJ)

Question Quality:

The questions are more statements you agree or disagree with, but they are very well-written. They are clear and easy to understand. “You regularly make new friends” and “Seeing other people cry can easily make you feel like you want to cry too” are two examples of questions from this test.

Variety and Ambiguity:

I think there is likely to be no variety or ambiguity in the responses that lead to poor results, as the questions are well-written and clear, which will not confuse test-takers. Also all the results are good results, as they are personality types, and one is not better than the other.

Strengths:

A few questions on each page, not overwhelming

Progress bar at the top

Clear wording and well-written questions

Results are very clear at the end, easy to see and understand

Weaknesses:

Long, as lots of questions

Not all the answer choices being labeled

Possible Improvements:

The accessibility of this test is good. It can easily be found by searching ‘personality test’ on Google and it will be one of the first few search results.

Google Search webpage. Photo credit: Google

One way this test could be improved is by labeling all the answer choices. Right now, only the first and last circles are labeled, with ‘Agree’ and ‘Disagree’ respectively. Not labeling the only circles or choices can lead to mixed interpretation of what those choices mean. As one person could think the second choice means often agree (3-4 times out of 5), well another person could think it means sometimes agree (2 times out of 5). These different interpretations could lead to people picking different circles, and possibly lead them to getting a personality that doesn’t fully fit them.

Answer choices for this test. Photo Credit: 16Personalities. com

I don’t know if this test has any promotion, but I do know a lot of people know about this test, as they will mention it when talking about personality tests.

Also, fun little thing, but I did the test this past week and got Defender, which is what I got a year ago when I also did this test. There were only slight changes in my percentages for each of the 5 categories (extraverted-introverted, intuitive-observant, thinking-feeling, judging-prospecting, and assertive-turbulent) all increased ranging from 5-10%, minus judging which decreased by 5%. I just thought it was neat as over the last year, I have felt like I’ve grown and figured out who I’m more, which is reflected in those slight changes.

References:

Anonymous. (n.d.). 16Personalities test. 16Personalities. Retrieved March 23, 2022, from https://www.16personalities.com/

Neuman, W. L., & Robson, K. (2018). Chapter 8: Survey research. In Basics of Social Research Qualitative and Quantitative Approaches (4th Canadian Edition, pp. 161- 191). Pearson.

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malefreak · 3 years ago

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a / e / d Please also diagnose me, and your opinions/diagnosis on ISFJ

well the dad jokes kinda throw me off haha someone that doesnt wanna party and is easily misunderstood but likes dad jokes.... again, i have to say ISFP or ISFJ but ISFJ is definitely the biased answer because its included here.

ISFJs are in their own world a lot. the judgment for them is not that they judge others in an unkind way (aka they dont think stuff like omg that person is so ugly or omg i bet she has no life) they actually take a lot of time to form proper judgment on someone!! they cant outright judge from just meeting they have to take the time to get to know someone. they always see the good in people though even if they are faced with difficult situations

i can tell you struggle with saying kind words and prefer to show your affection in other ways--like sending this ask for example! it's hard to tell someone their interests are interesting to you, but easy to ask them to elaborate on the subject. i'd say it might be hard for others to tell, but you are an extremely loyal friend

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 7 years ago

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For the ask meme: A) 1, 3, 6, 9, 11, 23, B) 2, 11, C) 5, 7, D) 5, E) 1, F) 3, G) 5, H) 1, L) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

This is going to be a thicccccc post y’all. Doing these for Reeve, Lonan, Foster, Harrison, and Darren from FOSTERED, and Clifford from I’M DISAPPOINTED!

PART A:

1. What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…

Reeve: ISFP

Lonan: ISTJ

Foster: INFJ

Harrison: ENFP

Darren: Not sure about this one, probably whatever my mom is (which I believe is ISFJ)

Clifford: INFP

3. Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?

Reeve:

She has struggled with clinical depression since book two to present times.

She developed PTSD also pretty early on in the series, though it definitely worsened in book four, and is probably at its peak where I’m at in book six.

I also believe she does struggle with borderline personality disorder, though this is a newer discovery, and I’ve definitely been doing a lot of research recently in order to write it respectfully (as I’ve done with the previous disorders).

Reeve is aware of her depression and PTSD, not her BPD, but these all remain untreated

Lonan:

He namely suffers from some form depression that fluctuates a bit

He also suffers from depersonalization/derealization disorder

Lonan’s also struggled with an alcohol problem since book three, and a recent drug problem

I don’t think Lonan is aware concretely of suffering from any of these disorders. He emphasizes seeing things to believe them, so while he understands deep down that he does struggle with these things, he would never admit this to himself, or anyone else. Thus, they would most likely remain untreated.

Foster:

Foster also does suffer from depression as well, though I would push it toward high-functioning.

He feels the effects, but doesn’t say anything about them because he doesn’t put his best interest above everyone else’s. In the future, definitely would be down for therapy

Harrison:

Pretty similar to Foster as well in terms of depression. I think it definitely worsens as he ages, and plateaus when he’s in his mid twenties.

This wasn’t ever something I considered before my own diagnosis, and isn’t something I’ve consciously incorporated, but I have a gut feeling Harrison has bipolar disorder as well

Harrison doesn’t do anything about this currently, but in the spinoff, does look into medication

Darren:

Darren is a relatively new character for me, so I haven’t had as much time with him to ruminate on this, but I definitely think his brother’s death influenced a resurfacing of his childhood depression. :(

Clifford:

Clifford does have social anxiety disorder, and a milder, but persistent depression (probably persistent depressive disorder)

He did have treatment in the past for his depression, in connection with his treatment for his alcohol abuse, but doesn’t continue with it beyond counselling in the actual book

6. Does your OC tend to assume their interpretation of events and reality is correct, or do they question it? I.e., “I’m sure that’s what you said” versus “It’s possible I misheard you.”

Reeve

She definitely believes her interpretation of events and reality to be correct (even when grandiose) but depending on her mental state, she can very much doubt what’s real and what isn’t.

Lonan

His interpretation is always right even when he’s wrong.

Foster

“It’s possible I misheard you” be Foster’s catch phrase yo

Harrison

Like Lonan, he’s confident in his interpretation of events/reality, but isn’t arrogant about it lol

Darren

He admits he’s wrong sometimes and makes mistakes, so definitely, he questions his interpretation of things and is always open to improve.

Clifford

Clifford doubts himself SO much??? he be like uhhhummmmbutuhhhhhh

9. Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?

Reeve:

Yes for herself and for others, doesn’t really own up to anything ever

Lonan:

Yes also, doesn’t really own up to anything ever, even more so than Reeve

Foster:

Yes for others, but not for himself. If he’s being mistreated, he oftentimes will try to excuse the other party’s behaviour, but will stand up for himself after a while (tho he’s a hella pushover)

Harrison:

Harrison doesn’t make excuses from himself, or for anybody else, excluding Lonan, lol. Because of his emotional investment, he’ll often try to come up with a reason to excuse Lonan’s (usually very horrible) actions when it comes to the intimacy of their relationship. Tho he stops taking BS really quickly, lol, but Lonan can sometimes be a soft spot (which ain’t cool asshole).

Darren:

Darren is such a good person, lol, he doesn’t excuse himself for his actions, or anyone else’s actions, with Reeve’s being an exception. Pretty similar to Lonan x Harrison.

Clifford:

Clifford does the opposite of excuse his actions. He’s an extreme self-loather, honestly. He also excuses other people’s actions because he’s a pushover like Foster.

11. Does your OC put others’ needs before their own?

Reeve:

No, though this is detrimental at times, because she can lack a lot of empathy at times, in the past I would’ve said yes

Lonan:

No, also is a lil selfish not gonna lie

Foster:

Yes, too much

Harrison:

Also yes too much

Darren:

Extreme yes very too much

Clifford:

Hella yikers way too much

23. Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?

Reeve:

No, but also isn’t confident, or insecure about it

Lonan:

To an extent. He doesn’t want to be the garbage aesthetic (which is my aesthetic and I love but ok) so does iron the living fuck out of his button ups, lol. Is very confident @ the arrogance thooooo

Foster:

Yes, just because he’s suave™. He might be a lil insecure because he’s v sensitive tho lol #chillitwiththeaxe

Harrison:

Yes, because he’s also the suavest. Harrison is actually the garbage/dumpster/garage aesthetic, and I love it. He doesn’t put an extraneous amount of effort into his appearance tho, is just a natural boi. He’s also confident but not arrogant (most of the times lol).

Darren:

A rather normal amount, probably? Isn’t too concerned tho, is confident with who he is as a person

Clifford:

Yes. Very much yes. He’s pretty insecure, and while this doesn’t link back with his appearance, he definitely is conscious of it, and makes sure it doesn’t further add to his accumulated insecurities.

PART B:

2. Do they get frustrated when lines at places like pharmacies, check-outs, delis, banks, et cetera, are moving slowly?

Reeve:

Yes, the impatience is real the world works for her yo

Lonan:

Also yes, the world is his bitch hunty, the world ain’t only his oyster, it’s his possession my dude why are we still waiting in this line Harrison it’s been thirty seconds oh my gOd

Foster:

No, lol, patience is a virtue yo

Harrison:

Yes, but not because he’s entitled like Reeve and Lonan, but because he’s pretty impatient and antsy and doesn’t enjoy sitting still

Darren:

No, lol he’s just gonna play candy crush on his phone and be satisfied lol

Clifford:

Yes, after some time. Like, he’ll see a long line and be like *impending doom* but won’t start complaining until like fifteen minutes in

11. Your OC is running late to meeting someone: Do they let the other person know? Do they lie about why they’re late?

Reeve:

She lets the other person know and will bend the truth so it works in her favour. So ‘I rear-ended someone’ would become ‘someone rear-ended me’.

Lonan:

Lets them know he’s running late and lies about why he’s late to also benefit him. So if he slept in, he’s like ‘My sister had me drive her to an appointment and gave me absolutely no notice, and I’m appalled at her inability to recognize consequences for actions and the importance of respecting time’.

Foster:

Tells the other person he’s running late and is honest about why he’s late, and profusely apologizes.

Harrison:

Lets them know he’s running late and lies but creatively. So I’m running late because I’m hungover is I’m running late because my alarm system literally had a freak out last night and literally every cop in America showed up at my house and turns out one of them is my mother’s cousin’s ex, so we had a long conversation and then I had to fill out paperwork and pay a fine and my morning has been awful? Sounds unbelievable, but he’ll somehow convince you. Or at least you’ll know he’s lying but the charm tho?

Darren:

Says he’s running late and tells the truth about why he’s late, is like sorry buddy tbh I wanted to binge Hell’s Kitchen instead of coming to this corporate meeting and yikers the time slipped away.

Clifford:

Says he’s running late and tries to lie but it’s so pathetic the person he has plans with cancels

PART C:

5. Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

Reeve:

Her morals are ridiculously situational oml

Lonan:

What morals

Foster:

No, lol, his morals are goddamn iron my bro

Harrison:

I mean if he really wants to spitball that one person who wronged him he ain’t gonna say no ??? Though I mean, Lonan has done a lot of awful shit to him, and he still hasn’t gotten revenge, so I guess he’s not a situational kind of mans.

Darren:

Nopers, he likes his morals to stay where they are

Clifford:

Morals also ain’t moving yo

7. Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort?

Reeve:

No, people don’t change

Lonan:

People never change

Foster:

People can change, but it does take effort (he used to believe it was a natural process and then Reeve and Lonan happened looool)

Harrison:

Ehh. People don’t really change. They can if they really want to, but they’re just going to be the same person but less shitty?

Darren:

I think he’s a little unsure. He wants to believe people can change, but he’s not sure if they actually will because a lot of people just dont have enough self-awareness and drive/willingness to.

Clifford:

People don’t change mom omg just their circumstances and how they react to them agh

PART D:

5. Do they believe in ghosts? If not, why? If so, do they think they’re magical/tie into their religion, or are they scientifically plausible?

Reeve:

No. When you’re dead, you’re dead.

Lonan:

Also no, when you’re dead, you’re dead anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool

Foster:

Not really? Maybe he’d like to. I don’t think he’s rooted enough in just humanity that he’d believe only what we see exists, but he’s not like a ghost fanatic, lol. When one haunts him tho he’s got that holy water my boi.

Harrison:

Yes, but jokingly. I think he would be a bit of a provoker to ghosts because he thinks the idea is stupid, but does it for the fun. He’s down for ghost hunting apps, but thinks it’s all a joke. Probably is that person who uses a Ouija board and opens a portal.

Darren:

Also no because he doesn’t really think about it? He believes in the afterlife, and probably heard tons of stories from his grandma, but isn’t a huge believer himself.

Clifford:

I feel like Clifford would only believe in ghosts when he’s home alone and it’s 4AM and there’s a knock on the door, tbh, he scares easily, lol

(v/ sad about this tho im a hella believer in ghosts, where my ghost believer characters at thooooo)

PART E:

1. Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree?

Reeve:

Yeah, I think Reeve is pretty intelligent. She’s able to see the motivations of others and understand them (doesn’t mean she necessarily keeps them in mind with her actions). She’s also pretty good at manipulation because she understands the insecurities and weaknesses of those around her. I dunno if she’d necessarily agree with this, though.

Lonan:

Lonan is v/ intelligent, similarly to Reeve. He is literally the *master of manipulation, knows the motives of others, their weaknesses, and knows exactly how to exploit them to the fullest extent possible. Other than his intelligence being used to ruin the lives of others, lol, he’s also really good with numbers. Highkey actually me self-inserting my love for mental math into my son #noregrets. He would definitely agree with this. He’s smart and he knows it. (Unfortunately) Though for the smartest person in my books, he sure does make the stupidest decisions??

(last week I was shopping with my best friend and calculated a total real quick and she was like “stop being lonan” lol oops)

(lonan is actually an insult now ??)

Foster:

He’s also hella smart, and gets no credit for it? Foster is very much like a teacher, honestly. He’s got that elementary school 10/10 teacher vibe to him. Foster is also really good at math, lol. He’s got an affinity for science outside of my book world, to be honest, loves reading, is down to memorize the periodic table, yo. Foster’s really down to earth so he’d prolly be hella modest about his smarts.

Harrison:

He’s really, really smart, but acts really dumb?? Harrison doesn’t give himself enough credit, to be honest. He doesn’t really focus on his brain, but it’s a sharp one, yo. He would probably disagree with me calling him smart tho.

Darren:

Is like my smartest boy? Darren is very people smart, but he’s also very brain smart, lol. I think he’d be pretty proud about his smarts, and express that, though not arrogantly.

Clifford:

Hates himself so would probably call himself the stupidest shit alive even though he actually isn’t. He just needs some encouragement.

PART F:

3. Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?

Reeve:

No, too claustrophobic for her, would probably burn it down in frustration

Lonan:

No, he would need a five acre extension.

Foster:

Yes! This is so his aesthetic he just wants to live in a tiny house in the woods and never interact with people and be one with nature and make pine needle tea every morning and play Sudoku and write a novel about a young man on his literary adventures in London while sitting in a hammock at golden hour.

Harrison:

No? Maybe he’d find it really fun and a great idea for the first week so he could pretend to be a giant, but I mean, I think he’d hate it after a while. He’d keep bumping into cupboards and drawers and blame it on the size of the house when it’s really actually him.

Darren:

Yuppers, sign him up. Except Darren would be so down for a tiny house built out of an old school bus (like my dream tiny house lolol), and he’d just park up on the beach and have the best life?

Clifford:

I think he would enjoy it for a bit, but I can’t see Clifford sticking it out for very long. :( He likes small spaces as they’re comforting to him but is also claustrophobic? This boy is a walking contradiction tho? (me)

PART G

5. Did they go through any typical phases growing up?

Reeve:

Not really she’s boring lol

Lonan:

Probably a really pathetic emo phase ft. the Haircut before he buzzed off his hair lmaooooo

Foster:

Also so boring, no phases here, probably if I had to choose, the ‘hippie’ phase but it’s not a phase if it’s his life ? He’s like YES with that clay based toothpaste, YES with them green smoothies, #oil pulling? Sign me UPPP.

Harrison:

The swearing phase where every sentence is made of curse words except also not a phase if it’s real doe?? he’s no lie that person who be like: fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckyoufuckfuckfuckfuck

Darren:

He probably had a real quick stint of writing bad poetry except he was never angsty enough so it was always like the sun is up / the sky is blue / it’s beautiful / and so are you and tbh can I get a Darren in my life

(not that those lyrics are bad i quite like them)

Clifford:

Clifford will forever be stuck in his emo phase, that’s who he is, man, he’s forever stuck in his edgy emo sad boi phase ok

(me tooooooo)

PART H

1. What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?

*Not setting everything in stone here, just as with real people, there’s totally room to change, this is just what I’m thinking as of now, tho I haven’t traditionally characterized any of these guys, so they change every day lol! I always learn new things about my characters (which I try to share) so that’s my disclaimer!

Reeve:

So I did write her hetero for both, but I’m not actually super sure anymore? She maybe could be bi?

Lonan:

Aha, Lonannnnnnn. So this is going to connect with my answer for Harrison later on, but I’m also not sure on both sides ? I used to be pretty set that he was both heterosexual and heteroromantic, but I’m leaning probably toward bisexual x biromantic, though I’m not sure if these particular labels fit him. All I know is Lonan likes Harrison (and Harrison likes Lonan lol), tho navigating his head when it comes to this has been a bit confusing (which I get), so I don’t have a set answer to be honest.

Foster:

He is both heteroromantic and heterosexual

Harrison:

Ahhha, so. I’m also a lil confused when it comes to Harrison too, which is something I’ve been meaning to discuss on here for a bit! I recently mentioned he is bi, not sure if that’s still set? I’ve been trying to navigate whether or not he likes women both sexually and romantically, just sexually, just romantically, etc?? We’ve established Harrison is in love af with Lonan, and is attracted af to him, just ahhhh my brain has been all over the place with Ris. I’m like, not sure if he’s bi, or gay or ??? like ?? dunno ?

Darren:

Admittedly not something I’ve thought about extensively, would probably say hetero for both

Clifford:

Hetero, but maybe biromantic?? I mean him and Julian tho ??? I haven’t thought about Clifford in a very long time oops.

PART L

1. How have your characters changed since you created them?

Reeve:

So I’ve been writing Reeve for almost four years now, and I can confidently say I only figured out who she really is very recently. Reeve hasn’t actually changed very much since book one, I think I’ve just realized who she is more, so her actions reflect herself a lil better. She’s a self-centred person, and pretty much always has been, but because I know that that’s her character, and not me writing her wrong, I’ve been able to push that even more in book six versus book one. She’s also a lot less empathetic than she was, but honestly, she hasn’t made too much positive change, just remained as she was before, but worse.

Lonan:

Lonan ‘changed’ a lot, namely because I didn’t know he was going to be Reeve’s half brother until book three (he was intro’d in book two). Change isn’t a very good word for him, because like his sister, he’s remained the same person, but the way he acts has differed slightly. So how I perceive him has changed, would probably be a more accurate sentiment because his character hasn’t changed much. He’s impatient as he was in book two, a lil narcissistic, hot-headed, arrogant. I’d say he’s changed the most in terms of self destruction. He’s always been self-destructive, but he’s even more so now.

Foster:

Foster is a lot milder than I initially wrote him. He had a bit of sass to him in book one, but this totally actually isn’t his character, which I realized as I went along. He doesn’t stand up for himself nearly as much as he used to, and his submissiveness has increased a lot. It’s funny (and kind of awful) that I’ve never actually characterized these guys with backstory (just went on as it happened), so a lot of things change as I go, but his sass tho? Where did it go ?? He cracked more jokes too ??? now he’s so serious ?? He also wasn’t vegan before but now he legit is?? Foster is hella posher than he was before, honestly.

Harrison:

Harrison’s a lot more mature now than he was in book one. His character arc is kind of funny, because he’s hot-headed, impatient, funny, sassy, etc when he’s 17, up until he’s 19. From 20 onward, he’s a lot more mature, and less childish, and from 25 onward, reverts back to his seventeen year old self, lol. Harrison’s patience has increased a lot more tho, and he also isn’t volatile at all. He’s a huge softie who I somehow didn’t realize liked the bois even tho it’s so obvious he does like ? Rachel r u good ??? he is so down for the rainbow tho ? taste the rainbow doe ?

Darren:

AHA Darren has changed SOOOO MUCH. Darren was supposed to be a horrible person, narcissistic, bitter, very sharp and blunt, selfish, etc, and that’s how I planned him to be. Literally the instant I wrote his first line into the book he turned into a total softie seweetheart with the biggest heart of gold which actually doesn’t work for my future plot but I can’t help that he’s literally a dream come true as a person? He went from stupid villain to SWEETERMANSSS.

Clifford:

lol I wrote Clifford as a hardcore ‘I don’t give two fucks about this world, fuck you man’ kind of guy who was honest and kind of an ass for about the first three chapters of the original draft of I’M DISAPPOINTED when I realized he’s actually a cinnamon roll? I struggled to change this in my earliest edits (I think I have notes saying MAKE CLIFFORD LESS OF AN ASS) a lot. He wasn’t supposed to be anxious af either, or care about his family. Needless to say, pretty stoked he changed lol.

2. What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any?

I don’t really consider theme very much, if at all in my books or characters (this is more so something I look to after the fact if it ever comes up), but I’d say a huge theme for everybody is loss? I dunno why, but loss is one of my favourite things to write because it almost acts as a vortex for more potential problems to integrate into a story. I really like dealing with messy situations in my books, and loss really allows me to do this, as well as segue into other characteristics in my characters, such as selfishness, anger, deceit, sadness, etc.

3. Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?

Reeve:

No, conceptually, she was never meant to be anything like me, and in execution, I still don’t think she’s anything like me, lol.

Lonan:

No, he also wasn’t created to be like me, and remained nothing like me until around book four? Lonan and I are still very different (he’s hella calculating and not emotional lol), but there are parts of me that I now see in him.

None of these characteristics were intentional, but he totally got my worst characteristics. Sometimes these characteristics (mostly) are more exaggerated in him than me (such as coldness), but yeah he’s kinda like my evil alter ego, lol.

Because of this, Lonan is kind of the closest character to me, strangely, and I’ve had a dissociative episode ft. him, which was strange but interesting!

My doctor has deemed Lonan my lil guardian buddy who reminds me of the laws of the real world (like yo if u jump off something u gon fall hunny gravity is a thing), which is fascinating to me (could talk about this forever!) because I never considered him to be that close to me?

Foster

lol no not me at all, wasn’t created that way ever

Except we both love tofu and could probably drown in tofu and not be mad about it?

I need to write a scene with Foster and tofu oml

Harrison

Aha, no he wasn’t actually created to be like me at all, and I never thought we were similar until a year or two ago! He’s kinda like the ‘extroverted me’ obvi I think I’m colder and more cynical than him, but we could vibe since we’re on a similar wavelength lol

Harrison is like all the sunshine in me, so subtract the Lonan from me

Darren

Also no, Darren wasn’t created to be me, and I think he’s too nice to be similar to me, lol.

Clifford

So Clifford was never created to be like me at all. We started out as being two very very very different people, and then suddenly he ? was ? my ? emo ? alter ? ego ? tho ???

Clifford was a very suave boi before I figured out who he was, and when I did, he turned out to be an anxious, angsty, existential boi who is no lie basically a self-insert ahahaha

4. Would you hang out with your OC if you could?

Reeve

Is it mean if I say no, lol. She’s not a people person or a friend person, and I dunno what we would even talk about. Obviously if I could hang out with all my characters that’d be fun, but I dunno if I’d even talk to Reeve, looool oops

Lonan

Yes! Just because I’d really enjoy provoking him. Lowkey would hate me, but I could see his superman hair in person ? tho ?

Foster

queen yessss catch us gushing bout tofu and chickpeas ????

Harrison

QUEEN yes! ft. ABBA on karaoke tho? Hanging out with Harrison would be so fun because he’s actually not boring like Lonan who we would poke fun at and then I’d be like yo hunnyyy snatch up that date for yourself thoooooo and we would talk about boys lol

Darren

Also yes! Darren is so generous and kind and funny and tbh how tf is he single hmu Darren tbh let’s eat Oreos and watch musicals

Clifford

I don’t really want to hang out with Clifford because that would be horribly awkward? But I think jamming some guitar with him would be very fun and then we’d bond and write angsty poetry on our hands

5. Which OC do you think is the most decent morally or behaviorally? AKA, which is supposed to be a ‘good guy’?

loool not Reeve

My order from most morally sound to least morally sound:

Darren

Foster

Clifford

Harrison

Reeve

Lonan

None of these people are particularly antagonists in terms of the bias of the story. I would say Darren, Foster, Clifford and Harrison are all 100% not antagonistic at all. Reeve and Lonan are technically ‘heroes’ but ha, no. I’d definitely say in other perspectives, they’re both hella morally grey, and in many cases, very morally wrong.

6. Which OC do you think is the worst morally or behaviorally? AKA, which is supposed to be a ‘bad guy’?

The award is going to Lonan, but Reeve is right up there with him. Neither Reeve or Lonan are supposed to be the ‘bad guy’, they just make poor decisions. At the moment, Reeve is making worse decisions than her brother, so, their moral decline kinda switches at times, lol. Neither are the antagonists of the book at least from Reeve’s narrative bias, but I guess if you think about it, they wreak the most havoc for the most part.

7. Which OC do you think is the most attractive?

Heh I love that this is the last question! I think they’re all rather decent, and have their own attractive qualities tho? Some observations:

Reeve

Kinda plain not gon lie she cute doe

Lonan

Bird boi, The hair swoop tho? #itsignifieshisdownfall, that jawline tho?

Foster:

Fresh boi, gotta iron dem dress shirts, #oxfords, #shoepolish, #hairgel

Harrison

Hawt boi, That shaggy hair tho? The leather jackets and cigarettes tho?

Darren:

Suave boi, EVERYTHING tho??? His hair ??? His face ??? His personality ???

Clifford:

lmao

Thanks for all the questions! Whattup at this long post, good on you if you made it this far!

–Rachel

#writing #amwriting #asks #writerblr

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calespsychoticbubble · 3 years ago

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Whoops this is long

A friend said something recently based on something that also happened recently.

The something that happened: We had gathered (online) to hang out and a friend (A) had asked me about my thoughts on teaching in a Christian school. I said that was fine, but I was equally fine about teaching in a public school. The same friend started to go on at length about how it was important to teach in public schools and about praying and leaving your burdens and troubles with God and praying for the students to come to know Jesus. The friend said everything twice. I smiled and nodded and eventually said I was going to leave and left the meeting.

What my other friend said: later that evening, my other friend (B) sent a message that they knew the friend (A) acted like that sometimes and that I was free to stop them (politely) if it was getting a bit bothersome because “we are all adults”. I said that was fine, I was used to it. My friend (B) and I met up later and spoke more about it, extending the conversation to their dislike of labels and how people didn’t always treat their friend (A) nicely, claiming something must be “wrong” about them, that fellowship could be exclusive at times and that labels often produced a sense of pity for that person.

For some reason, this bothered me. Both situations bothered me.

I know why friend A bothered me. Their talking at length reminded me of some people I had met at church before who offered their unsolicited advice and you listened to them out of respect but did not take the time to discuss/argue/disagree with them because it wasn’t really worth the effort. They had good intentions, they weren’t trying to make you do anything. But this event reminded me of those times and naturally I tuned out pretty quickly. I don’t really appreciate being lectured at, especially when it sounds like (not that the friend thinks this way) they know better, which is ironic because the friend (A) mentioned that sometimes people in Christian schools talk like they know better/are better.

But I’m not 100% sure I know why the second situation bothered me.

I think part of it may be because stopping someone mid-sentence or mid-conversation does not directly correlate to an adult response? I am an adult, yes, so does that mean I have to stop a person when I find them irritating? Not necessarily. Would a polite “thank you for sharing” have been appropriate? I don’t know. I had trouble responding after the lengthy speech from the friend (A) because I couldn’t remember what was said to begin with (even then my recollection above is not very specific). Is it fine to stop someone? I think so. Did I feel like I was capable of doing so in that situation? Not really. My friend (B) also did not stop them.

It also reminded me of a student I had taught before who had a habit of asking questions and ranting a bit. It was a skill to navigate those conversations so that I could still address the student’s curiosity and make them feel heard while also leaving opportunity for other students to speak and be involved in the class.... which leads me to the labels.

This student had some kind of... something. It required a label, nonetheless.

I think what may have bothered me about my friend’s (B) outright dislike of labels made it sound like labels didn’t matter/weren’t important/not needed. In some cases, I think this is true. MBTI, horoscopes, and zodiac signs are good examples of unnecessary labels. They might be fun, but they don’t define you. But some labels have more weight to them. Mental disorders, learning disabilities, religious groups, sexual identity. These labels will often have more weight.

The perspective I offered to my friend in response to their thoughts was that the risk behind labels is that they can be reductive. If all you see of a person (or of yourself) is “depressed” then yes that’s a big issue. Or if all you see is “autistic” then it is a problem. A person is not just one or two labels. Everyone is unique and multifaceted. There are tons of labels used to describe everyone. But if you allow one to swallow you, that can be dangerous. So I guess what I was trying to say is that labels can be helpful and harmful, but the usage and significance given to them is what is important to note (ie so it’s not the label of “autism” that should be the problem, but the act of making “autism” everything about you that IS). Of course, this was not meant to change anyone’s perspective, but I found it puzzling nonetheless.

I figure that this friend (A) may have been accused (?) of being autistic, which is what sparked my other friend’s (B) comments, as he saw the label as unnecessary in any capacity and that the label would bring pity. I guess this struck a nerve with me as I think labels can be helpful in some capacities (medical diagnoses, learning disabilities, to name a couple), and it’s not meant to be reductive or pitiful for that person. It is simply a fact. You have _____. And that diagnosis/label may bring about challenges, but having a name doesn’t take away that challenge or necessarily make it worse. Of course there will be people that will use it to stereotype or create a prejudice, but on an objective level the label doesn’t matter.

I guess I speak from an ideal perspective as well. “Oh it would be nice it everyone was just respectful and inclusive of all people regardless of their labels” when in reality that doesn’t always happen. So I understand not wanting to apply a label, but resisting testing (especially if testing will help you get support you need) or rejecting all labels can be harmful.

With all this in mind, perhaps what people miss out on (and I’m thinking in the fellowship context for this idea) is that our identity is founded in Christ. First and foremost we are followers of God. That should be the primary identity/label that we stick with and look at. All the other ones fall to the wayside. So if we let other labels create boundaries in our relationships with other believers (”oh they have autism so they won’t get it. Let’s not include them.”), that is really not cool. But to have other labels attached to your identity as a Christian seems fine to me (”I am a Christian who also happens to have autism”). Even moreso, using these to build a relationship with other believers can be a powerful tool (”Oh, you’re a Christian? Me too. You also happen to be an ISFJ? Me too!”). Of course that relationship is founded first and foremost in Christ, but to have other things/labels in common isn’t harmful either. It can help someone feel understood and heard within the Christian community.

As someone who does not have a mental disability/other similar label attached to them, I can’t necessarily speak based on experience, but I imagine that having someone in your community that you can relate to is positive. So do you need to be upfront in your labels? Not really. Are they harmful? They can be, but they don’t have to be.

So I guess I am taking more of a moderate approach towards these labels, as have seen them help people understand themselves better. In turn, we can use this understanding to extend understanding and empathy towards others. Does it always need a label? No. But should we reject them? I don’t think we have to.

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artsy-jandi · 8 years ago

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Match Up Info

I know I have already done this post in a way, but I have some added information I added.

Warning: Molestation & cancer.

Appearance: I stand 5'3 with a slim hourglass figure. I have a heart shaped head with long wavy red hair reaching to my butt, hazel green eyes, light skin with some freckles and hardly visible warts on my hands which are known for growing long fingernails. I also look younger then people think I am. On April 15, 2015, the men working on the back doors thought I was 19 when I was 24.

Personality: I am a scatterbrained daydreamer. I live in my own little world when I should be working and I regret it later. When I am around people, it is only a matter of time before I look for someplace to be by myself and role-play my daydreams, or my stories. Even when I am among people and there is a conversation that doesn't interest me, I do either of them mentally. I do try to talk to people, though. When I am not in my wonderland, I try to do my work. One moment I am doing the dishes, next is the laundry, then I am doing something on my devices because I a curious about something, or I am playing a game I wanna catch up on, before I know it I am sidetracked with what interests me and putting my work off for later. Or I get hyper focused on my stories.

When someone does me wrong, I will keep it to myself and try to get over it. I believe in forgiveness, and I hate confrontation because of the emotional disturbance I get out of it. With that being said, I am normally to scared to point out what happened because I fear the conversation wouldn't turn out so well. I can be a little goofy and I have something of a sense of humor, but I am not always good at understanding jokes and teasing. An example would be this: I can understand Brook's skull jokes/bone humor, but I don't always understand my brother's sarcasm even though I've lived with them all my life. I am getting better at it, though.

But despite of my shortcomings, I am known for being artistic, imaginative, modest, polite, kind, sweet, reliable, compassionate, passionate, strong, and brave. My dad says I am one the strongest people he knows. I was left to struggle in my learning weaknesses back in public school and I was a bully target, I have been molested by a family member at age 10 (I am still a virgin), and then I lost my mother to breast cancer at 21. I am a pretty happy person regardless of my sad past. I have a soft spot for animals and I love to laugh. I do my best to keep my promises, and regret when I don't. The promises I take seriously are staying true to my God and not having sex until I am married for my departed mother. Because of the promise to my mother, I try to stay away from anything that would tempt me to break it.

I can also be romantic. Really deep down in my heart, I am yearning to be swept off my feet. When falling for someone, I fall hard. I will fondly think of that person rather he is real or not, to the point I become obsessed with him (And therefore, daydream about him). If he is taken, I will let him go, and keep my composure around when him. I know my place. If I do have my love for him realized, I will want to be with him every second. If he is available and my love is not realized, I’ll just be my sweet self and hide my feelings away until something happens. When I marry my soulmate, I want to confine every secret I have to him. But gradually. I don't want to freak him out in any way.

Likes: Reading, studying, drawing, painting, taking pictures, looking at people's work, getting my work done, praying, shopping, being with my cats, keeping and fulfilling my promises, listening to music, singing, playing games and recording my game play (otome mainly), food, cooking, swimming and bowling, things of the Oriental World, anime, manga, art, history, literature, dreamology, home remedies or natural medicine, home beauty treatments (I use apple cider vinegar for a hair rinse. I hear alcohol can increase hair volume.), soaking in a nice hot bath, or milk bath, on the Sabbath (no pun intended there), pretty lingerie, pregnancy (it's been an interest since my mid teens), being productive, and daydreaming.

Dislikes: Vulgarity, meanness, and rudeness, to a degree I can put up with it. People being mistreating and someone disrespecting my loved ones, for this reason I can be protective. Wasting food, I try to handle it wisely. Breaking, or forgetting my promises.

Talents and Abilities: Singing, drawing, painting, some photography, story telling, song writing, some poetry, cooking, keeping secrets ;) , some acting I guess from all the role playing I done, voice acting, and organizing when I am not mentally absent.

Other: I am an ISFJ female Sun Virgo, Rising-Moon Sagittarius, and Yang Metal Horse (Chinese Sign) with a preference for men. In 2014, I was tested for Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. My results report that I am positive for Asperger's Syndrome and ADD. I function well regardless of my diagnosis, but I have bad social and communication skills. A result of me being home schooled and mentally occupied with my daydreams. As a Judaen Christian, I try my best to live out the scriptures (In and out of the Bible) and study them when my head is not in the clouds. I pray to God, and I would consider Him my best friend. I wanna be an inspiring Christian writer and graphic novelist with a GED. Music has been a part of my life and it one of the things that helps make my creative juices flow. My childhood role model is Princess Zelda from the Legend of Zelda series.

I am also Jandi the Artsy Rose on YouTube. I basically narrate the otome games I play.

#Matchup #Match Up #matchmaking #profile

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mbti-notes · 3 years ago

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Hi I'm an ISFJ who is on the Autism Spectrum. I was wondering if you had an insight as to how being neurodivergent can effect a person's function development. I speculate that neurodivergents can develop their functions but may do it at a slower rate than neurotypicals. What are your thoughts on this?

I've said before that I don't like to discuss psychological disorders and personality type in the same breath. There is little to no reliable research that properly establishes the relationship between the two, and I do not wish to speculate about such serious matters.

If it isn't obvious already, my background is primarily in psychological theory and research, not clinical applications. Psychology information is widely available on the internet, so laypeople usually know some basic facts about psychological disorders, but they are not always privy to all the behind-the-scenes research and discussions. I am by no means an expert on autism spectrum disorders (ASD) since it was not my area of specialization. However, I can try to explain why there is no real answer to your question.

ASD are considered to be "controversial" in the sense that they are poorly understood:

There is controversy surrounding diagnosis. Although ASD are believed to be neurological in nature, researchers have not yet found reliable biomarkers to use for assessment. Cognitive and behavioral assessment criteria are imprecise and problematic due to the heterogeneity of symptoms.

There is controversy surrounding definition. Because of the heterogeneity of symptoms, it isn't clear whether ASD are primarily a social, learning, behavioral, developmental, genetic, or cognitive problem, or some combination. There is no unified genetic, biological, and behavioral theory of ASD.

There is controversy surrounding etiology. It isn't clear whether ASD all have the same underlying causes or whether they are a cluster of similar looking but etiologically distinct conditions.

There is controversy surrounding conceptualization. Since there is such diversity and difference in mental capabilities, especially when you compare low versus high functioning cases, there's often disagreement about whether ASD should be approached as a disorder, a disability, or a difference.

On top of these controversies, expression of ASD differ dramatically when you factor in variables like age and sex.

With this information in mind, it becomes more obvious that each individual has a unique experience of autism, which means that making broad generalizations is fairly useless, if not harmful, when it risks slipping into stereotypes. ASD may or may not increase the difficulty of using certain functions. ASD may or may not interfere with typical function development. These things should be examined on a case-by-case basis. You use the word "slower" but I would not. For the high functioning cases, there may be alternative but equally efficacious strategies to be found for function development.

ISFJs require specific attention to Si and Fe development. This makes it likely for them to experience issues about being "different". Perhaps they grapple with underlying shame about not fitting in well and/or not being able to keep up with others. These kinds of type development problems are going to exist as long as you are ISFJ, whether you are autistic or not. ASD may make it more difficult to resolve these development problems for some, but I wouldn't go so far as to say for every case.

Therefore, to address your question, I suggest that you refrain from relying on generalizations and stick only to examining the details of your own case. Look at your own experience of autism, the ways in which it has affected the discovery and growth of your capabilities, and whether it is necessary for you to use alternative but equally valid paths to function development.

I wonder whether you have the mistaken conception of function development as "skill building", so you worry about whether you are able to "level up". That's not the right approach. Autism, though you may treat it as part of who you are, isn't the root of who you are personality-wise. Type development is the lifelong journey of unpacking your identity, therefore, locking yourself into limiting labels like typical, atypical, fast, slow, etc, won't get you very far.

#development #autism #ask

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healthspiritbody · 7 years ago

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How To Know If You're The Rarest Personality Type

Almost everyone goes through periods of deep reflection that leads them on a quest for knowledge to help better understand their own personality.

For millions of us, this personal quest to satisfy our deep-seated desire to understand ourselves often ends in hours immersed in online personality quizzes.

I’m something called an INFJ, the rarest personality type in the U.S., with about 1.5% of the population fitting that category.

Characteristics of an INFJ

Contrary to an extrovert, an INFJ will likely be an introvert that stays in their own head a lot, rather than focusing on the outer world.

The “N” in INFJ stands for intuitive. An INFJ will take in information in patterns and focus on the future instead of the present as a “sensory” type would.

Because we are “feeling” vs. “thinking,” we make decisions based on values rather than objective measures.

The “J” stands for “judging,” meaning INFJ’s make a plan and stick to it. This is in sharp contrast to “Ps” for perceiving, who are commonly better at winging things than the INFJ.

This unique combination of personality traits makes INFJ’s natural-born protectors, empaths, counselors, confidantes, advocates and all-around “do-ers,” not navel-gazers, according to the Internet and its 18.3 million Google results devoted to the INFJ type.

What makes the combination so rare?

The only way to know for sure if you’re an INFJ is to take the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment, which is based on the work of Swiss psychologist Carl Jung and his theory of personality type. It was formalized into a test by Isabel Briggs Myers, and her mother, Katharine Briggs. The 93-question assessment came into prominent use in the early 1960s and is still used by the majority of Fortune 100 companies and in higher education to help determine, among other things, communication styles.

The assessment uses four pairs of opposites to define personality type:

Introvert (I) v. Extrovert (E)

Intuitive (N) v. Sensory (S)

Thinking (T) v. Feeling (F)

Judging (J) v. Perceiving (P).

The personality type of those who finish the 93-question assessment will be identified as being one of 16 possible combinations.

Dissecting any of the 15 personality types is fairly rigorous because at the end of the day, everyone is an individual with unique character traits.

But, according to Donna M. Ives, an MBTI master practitioner who is a consultant for diverse groups such as international labor unions, IT professionals, scientists and students, broad generalities can be made by looking at the middle letters called “function pairs.”

In the case of an INFJ, this would be the NF.

“These pairs tell a lot about a type, and NFs are really viewed as very compassionate, and highly empathetic individuals who like to focus on ideas and people versus say an ST who approaches things more analytically or objectively,” Ives says.

INFJ’s are often mistaken for extroverts

This is because INFJs are “very warm, interested in the people that they are with, especially on a one-on-one basis,” Ives says. ”Actually, being a reporter is kind of a dream job for an INFJ since so much interaction is one-on-one.”

Ives stresses that although you may fall into a category, that doesn’t mean you should base your perception of self on this diagnosis as it doesn’t take into account character or personality. Plus, it isn’t a diagnostic tool. “There is no bad type or better type, there are just preferences that are shown,” says Ives. “INFJs are really interesting, and you find them everywhere.”

How can this be the rarest personality type but still found everywhere?

There are several personality types that are rather scarce, according to the estimates of the relative frequency of each of the 16 types in the U.S. population, provided by the Myers & Briggs Foundation.

ENTJs, those extroverted, intuitive, thinking and judgment-oriented folks, represent only 1.8% of the population. INTJs, just one letter off from us INFJs, show up about 2.1% of the time. The largest represented type is ISFJ, introverted, sensing, feeling and judging, at 13.8%. Overall, “sensing” individuals are more common than us “feely” types.

Some possible explanations for the relative rarity of INFJs may be due to the fact that we’re just not in situations where the test is offered, or maybe we don’t want to take the test, says Dr. Carla Stebbins, a New-York based certified MBTI practitioner who works in higher education.

Another possibility is that when taking the assessment, people may not be honest, especially if they believe being an extrovert is better than being an introvert, she says.

Are you an INFJ?

The MBTI is widely used, but it’s not fully embraced by the psychology community due to its either-or approach to personality traits, among other factors. Plus, some folks can get different results when re-taking a test. It is worth noting that I don’t fit into this category as I’ve taken it twice in different settings and only ever tested as an INFJ.

Believers say that the process of testing to understand your personality is absolutely healthy. “There is something very good and natural about trying to understand yourself,” Stebbins says, adding personality type results should never be used to limit someone or for hiring purposes.

“Any personality type can be anything they want to be and do anything they want to do,” she adds.

If you haven’t already taken the test and are curious about your personality type, an online search will show you a ton of ways that you can take some version of the MBTI for free. Or, in many cases, employers may offer the test during a team-building exercise.

Just remember as Donna Ives stated, you are more than a four-letter combo of personality. Do not allow the result to pigeonhole your career or relationship based on the MBTI personality type.

If you found this article helpful, please share with friends and family by clicking the button below!

Source: www.today.com

How To Know If You’re The Rarest Personality Type was originally published on Health Spirit Body

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