#devs social media are so stupid i love them

[jonasiegenthaler]

Not the Devils tiktok account posting an in memoriam for Jack’s tooth. This team is so unserious hahahah

[solavelyan]

Just under 27 hours left until 10 years of waiting is over.

I never did get around to doing everything I wanted to do before the next game came out, but none of that stuff is going anywhere. It's just been a really long, weird, often very bad decade.

I've been lucky in this lead up that nothing I've seen in the promo, content-wise, has given me much concern if it didn't excite me. I'm going in with as open of a mind as I can manage and withholding critical judgment until I can see the full picture for myself - admittedly, with a bias toward the benefit of the doubt. The devs who have been on and off of this project in the last decade care about telling a good story as much as I do about hearing one, and the love and care on display from the people who made this thing - even the ones actively fucked over by corpo shit - softens my opinion of some of the more controversial writing choices. They were in the weeds and I wasn't, and I'm more than willing to head them out.

I keep coming up with Rook concepts, feeling settled in them for a few days, and then talking myself out of them and changing my mind. I genuinely have no idea what I'm going to do first - but I'm sure whatever it is will be fun, and I'm excited for it.

Most importantly, I'm going to make more effort to stay off social media. I've tried being on less the last few days and it's been... to mixed results, for somewhat IRL reasons that don't matter here so I won't write them down. My worst fandom trait is that I don't enjoy Disk Horse, but when I see something I'm confused or appalled by, I go digging and then suddenly I know more than I wanted, feel obligated to have a reaction (even if it's internal), and then have to give myself a little talking-to anytime I feel the pull of "should I do X or Y in my game? People on (website) say that Y is fucked up or annoying because...". I know this is a habit of mine, and it is some level of mental "work" to get back to a more reasonable stance of "who gives a fuck, it's fake people, shut up and just do what you want, don't take the opinion of strangers you discovered just in time to disagree with them to heart."

I think some of the emotional weirdness is that the world has changed so much, but fandom is still itself. It's having the same drama and discourse and excitement and bullshit and joy as it ever has. I was here for the DA2 and Inquisition releases, and Veilguard's promo really has in some ways felt like being in 2014 again, for better or worse.

I'm sure I'll functionally disappear for a while for this one, just like I did with DAI. And I'm almost as horribly depressed as I was when DA2 launched and I played it in a 3-day fugue state. We'll see how it goes.

But the biggest thing I'm trying to avoid here is how I felt a couple weeks after BG3. I made the mistake of being on twitter more last year, and that's where all the worst bullshit lives these days (which it then leaks all over the place). It took about 2 weeks for the warm and fuzzies to wear off and for people to start feeling comfortable mocking and bullying random strangers who were doing nothing to anyone for the crime of making "boring" Tavs, or to start breaking off into factions based on favorite love interests and then being real big assholes about it. And it only went downhill after that. It ended up being that going into the general tags meant it was just a countdown before I saw really bitch-ass posts about how people pick (race of my character) and or romance (companion I romanced) are annoying and stupid and ruining fandom and so "boring" that reposting their screenshots for mockery is an acceptable pastime. It wasn't bigotry or anything - although the rampant and aggressive biphobia certainly was, that also sucked - but it quickly soured a lot of my experience, as someone who mostly minds my own business just vibing with my OCs and stuff with my little 4-note posts. I felt like I was constantly catching strays for having the gall to not have developed an "I thought X was cool but realized after a week it was bad and dumb" mentality, as so often crops up when the honeymoon cools and people kind of start to rot in fandom and care way too fucking much about what other people are doing because they're done actually engaging with the material directly.

Unfortunately, I think that shit is inevitable, and I just... don't want to see it. I don't want to fall in love with Companion Y or enjoy Plot Point X, only to check my socials and find people calling anyone who shares my opinion a stupid asshole who's ruining everything for other people just by existing, or basically a bigot for not digitally fucking their favorite or playing a character they find interesting. DA fandom has always been this way, and it sucks ass.

Honestly, I think that's why I'm so open to being charmed by the new game: because my apprehension isn't the game, it's fandom fucking bullshit. I'll always be happy to see more people enjoying things, but I've been here through some ugly shit and DA flavored fandom drama is almost always stupid horrible nonsense, and I'm not looking forward to that shit ramping up.

So I'm doing my very best to cocoon, only talk directly to my friends, and just enjoy this thing I've been waiting for for a decade without giving in to my impulse to care too much about everything all the time. I'll probably post pictures of my Rook or something, but I don't want to be ~around~ until I've finished at least my first playthrough.

The tl;dr of this is that I'm very very excited for the game itself and am ready to be impressed. Gimme the good heartbreak, Weekes.

[sapphire-weapon]

hello there, how's your day going :)

i know you've talked about this before, i've seen your answer myself but i just have to say this one to let out some frustration in me lol

i've been scrolling down on tiktok for some eagleone content and whenever i see a video slightly about them there's like "siblings fr" / "brother-sister" captions and it's making me almost fume LMFAOO

what the HELL are these people talking about seriously.

and the comments are even worse, saying "so glad everyone is thinking of them as siblings" kinda shit

i have this urge....urge to puke bc whAT 🗣️🗣️❗❗

like, say something normal like "good friends" or "platonic" at least if you can't see them as a ship, since NOTHING in RE4make between Leon and Ashley are sibling-like to me and im sure many people who know smt little about body language can tell that

i just think this is some kinda propaganda to stop ppl shipping eagleone at this point lol some new ppl could indeed feel bad about shipping them if the majority of the ppl they see on social media see them as... siblings *pukes*

however it makes me wanna write some juicy, intense smut with the ship just to rile these ppl up haha

(thanks for reading this nonsense babbling)

.....

I know it's frustrating, anon. It's easy to ignore one person being dumb and wrong, because your brain can more easily go "ha ha look at what the jackass said" and move on. But to see people being stupid and wrong en masse over and over and over again is a little soul-crushing.

I'm personally going through this with the goddamn mafia background shit. I've kind of reached a point where I'd rather be trapped in a room with the entirety of Aeon fandom than have to bear witness to even just one more motherfucker who actually thinks that Leon is actually legitimately meant to be seen as Italian by Capcom -- ESPECIALLY after seeing what he looks like in Remake -- because apparently half of the people in RE fandom have never actually seen an Italian person in their fucking life. And, as someone from New Jersey, I take that shit personally. My stepdad's last name is Renzulli. Don't fucking tell me that Leon Scott fucking Kennedy is meant to be the son of Italian immigrants.

But I think what's important to bear in mind is that nothing that dumbasses say in this fandom -- no matter how many they are or how many times they say their stupid bullshit -- changes what the canon actually is or says. Twitter/Tumblr/TikTok dumbasses especially have no power over RE canon. When game devs look for fan response, they look for actual fan response to their official tweets and blog posts, as well as some forums (hello ResetEra), prominent content creators on Twitch and Youtube and what their audiences are saying, and game reviews (as well as comments posted on game reivews). No one at Capcom gives a singular flying fuck what the deeper fandom side of fandom is doing or saying, because they know that most of us are certifiable.

So, as rage-inducing as it is, we gotta just let some things go, man.

Leon/Ashley is a canonical romance, intended to be viewed as romantic by Capcom, and that's not going to change no matter how many thinly-veiled misogynists try to bad-faith morality police their way around fandom otherwise.

Leon Kennedy has no official backstory per canon and has never, in any way, shape, or form, been modeled or portrayed in a way that's meant to be viewed as Italian or in a way that makes sense with the idea he has mafia ties in his family or background.

Anyone who ever tries to tell you otherwise is selling something.

Remember: if it's not in the games, it's not canon. And what is in the games is a romance. Full stop.

So, if you can channel that rage into something productive like smut, please, for the love of god, do. It's a way better response than getting yourself all riled up. And this ship needs more creators putting stuff in the tag, besides.

[nealcassatiel]

Why was the Prequel announced sooo early? Why is Jared being super dumb? Why might his tweets cause SERIOUS issues for the future of the prequel? Why should Jensen and Dannel be livid and actually quite worried as CEOs?

I see lots of people, Jared being the main one, super confused as to why the Prequel was announced in Deadline when apparently its still just an idea? Surely its further down the road, development-wise, than Deadline and Jensen and Daneel are saying? Surely Jared has been left out of months and months of development of this show??? Well, no. Not really. This is what i think, as someone who works in TV development...

A lot of questions have occurred as to why Jared may not have known about the Ackles’ prequel, and yes it might be because they haven’t talked, but let’s look at this from an industry perspective…

Of course the project may already have NDAs attached to it, and as it seems to be in the incredibly early stages, there may not even be anything to the project right now. Working in TV development, you can have big announcements in the Trade publications (such as Deadline) with just an idea for a project with maybe one high profile talent attached. When the company’s ive worked for announce a project in it’s really early stages, without even a script and just an idea but also with IMPORTANT TALENT ATTACHED, it is for one reason: finance. The prod company and the Trade magazine work together to announce the project and it’s all planed. 

So I would guess that maybe Jensen and Daneel’s prod company are looking for extra financing? That is always why the companies ive worked for have made super early announcements like this, without even a script or an entire treatment written. If you announce a project super early but there is big talent attached, then big industry financiers may read, see the project has legs and has buzz around it already, and plonk in their money early on. 

I know it seems like if Deadline announce a project then that infers that lots has been done to develop the show already, but especially with the pandemic and the industry not doing well from a dev and prod point of view, and especially because Jensen and Daneel’s prod company hasn’t made anything yet (even if it does have a co-production deal with Warner Bros television), they still might need to get financing during the early stages of the project. Anyway, it makes sense that very little has been done on the prequel show, and they just want early buzz for financiers. So they got their PR team to talk to Deadline and Deadline and Warner Bros TV and J&D’s prod company’s PR team set up a date for the article to go out to get optimal buzz in line with when financing needs to get off the ground. 

I don’t know, but I’m sure J&D’s prod company paid a lot for the spin-off rights / general supernatural IP. So that’s a lot of sunken costs already. Also, even with The CW on board, the industry is pretty shaky right now and they still might need early financing from international distributers. 

Anyway, all I’m saying is that lots of times, when a project so early in development gets a Trade publication announcement, it’s to secure financing for the project, or to raise the awareness of a new production company, like J&A’s company. Maybe they have a whole slate of projects and are looking for co-producers, and need some legit PR to play with the other big lads in the industry (however, Chaos Machine could do with like… i mean the bare minimum of a website,, unless anyone can see their website? i cant find one?) Maybe they just want to focus on the SPN prequel. But even so, why do they need money, you ask?

If the CW is involved, and if Warner Bros television is co-producing, then why do the Ackles’s prod company need money? Surely the CW can support them and make the show?! Well… i mean, yes they could. But the Ackles wouldn’t necessarily WANT that. You see, whichever company funds the show, gets most of the creative rights to the show. The big issue with SPN was always that the CW/Warner Bros TV probably had things like ‘the final cut privalege’, and could ALWAYS have the final say on scripts. Having been through that on SPN, Jensen needs his production company to retain creative control over the IP and the rights, and for that to happen is prod co NEEDS to fund a majority of the costs. So the Ackles’ need to secure a heck of a lot of financing as a separate entity to the CW. This will mean they might get financiers, other prod cos, distribution companies, and such on board, just by an early announcement of a big project that already has legs and a buzz around it and YOU CAN HELP GET IT MADE AND GET A SLICE OF THE PROFITS ONCE IT’S MADE. See how great this project is ALREADY? Give us some money to help us retain the creative rights and get it made, then you get whatever percentage of the show’s profits. A great investment right? Look at our willing and lovely fanbase! We’re like a big family! A big, happy, fa — *enter Jared with a bulldozer*

SO. With this PR disaster from Jared’s stupid rage tweets like he’s a child, what’s the situation now? I mean, all press is good press… kind of? 

I expect the announcement has something to do with money. Either the project needs money or J&D’s production company needs money. I expect the Ackles are looking for financing, but now is their lovely PR stunt to try to get the project financially off the ground, or at least the PR stunt to try to make sure THE ACKLES retain creative rights by majorly funding the project in jeopardy? 

It depends. Certainly Jared storming in and destroying the idea of a solid and family-like fanbase is going to hamper things. Jared destroying the brotherly vibe, a central theme of the IP, is going to be an issue, but the statements J&J put out to end the drama, and Deadline’s unbelievably obvious ‘solve the drama PR’ where they wrote about the drama ‘All’s well that ends well. After some Supernatural drama that mobilized the series’ legions of fans Thursday night and Friday morning, showcasing the series’ massive social media reach, the #spnfamily is happily back together after a heart-to-heart between Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki.’ (https://deadline.com/2021/06/jared-padalecki-supernatural-prequel-reaction-bummed-gutted-the-winchesters-jensen-ackles-the-cw-1234781475/) will help. Side note, Deadline writing the announcement article with the Ackles to help them get good PR for a project, then having to write an article to solve the bad PR that was caused by their original ‘this’ll be great PR’ article is pretty hilarious. 

Basically, I don’t know if this’ll really affect the reason for the article: getting the Ackle’s money for the project. Whether it will affect the project or how much creative control the Ackles can keep if the CW does have to step in and fund it, I don’t know. But Jared obviously has no idea about how television development works, and certainly has no idea that shows so early in development have these trade publication announcements for financing (a pretty obvious and known-about thing to anyone who works at a film or tv company). Jared also seemed to think that BECAUSE it was announced in Deadline, THAT MUST MEAN that the project was more than an idea with some creatives attached, which again shows that he doesn’t understand how projects in development work and why they’re so often announced when there isn’t even a proper treatment let alone script. The dude is obviously clueless, and there is J&D trying to run a production company which pulls PR moves like this regularly, as an industry standard.

So, even if this doesn’t jeopardise the projects financing, and therefore the control the Ackle’s prod company has over the project, the personal effect this will have on Jensen could be huge. Jared, with his stupid uninformed idea that he’s been left out of loads of development of a project just because it was announced in a magazine, could be read by Jensen as really putting his baby of a project in danger. The article was about money, and what if Jared’s tweets mean that they won’t be able to fund it? What if the CW does have to majority fund it and therefore keep creative control like they did with SPN? Like, this is Jensen and his wife’s COMPANY. Which they’ve already sunken costs into? Like… this is their FINANCIAL FUTURE Jared has stuck his foot into? That article WAS ABOUT MONEY FOR THEIR COMPANY. OF COURSE IT WAS. And now Jared has put their company, and financial future into question potentially? DUMB IDIOT. 

Anyway, that’s how announcements like this work, this is why they normally happen when a project is so early in its development it seems silly to even ‘announce’ anything. Someone forward this to Jared plz and thanks. xxx

[jinkookiest]

Hey i want to say something in regards with mihoyo and the anniversary fiasco. English isn't my first language so. Sorry about that.

I'm seeing people on social media trying to defend mihoyo. The first type are the ones who say "gachas are gachas, you're the ones to blame for having expectations!" To which I say: just because you got used to something bad, doesn't mean it stopped being bad. Yes. I've played many, many gacha games in the past (Been an avid fan of rhythm games since I was a kid) but I've never defended the system. If people want to critique something bad, don't blame them. Specially if you know they're right but just “too weak to accept it.”

But these people,,, they don't bother me as much as the bootlickers. The people defending mihoyo saying we are at fault for being greedy. What those people are forgetting is that this isn't only about the rewards: this is about handling everything bad and then hiding behind the curtain until people eventually forget about it.

(mild spoilers for Inazuma here) First, there was Ei's quest problem and how they butchered a character for money's sake. Which. Not too much of a problem. Okay. I'm sure a lot of people liked the quest and loved Ei and that's cool. But there was a fuss, and mhy hide behind the curtain.

But then, there she comes. Kokomi. Now, let me be clear as the water that comes down from the mountains: I don't give one single shit about meta. The problems I find in her character are more related to general characterization than to her kit. I don't care. This isn't me defending the "meta slaves" or whatever, but pointing out that even if her baner is the worst seller in the game's history (don't know if worse than Keqing), they still haven't adressed it, and don't plan to "fix" the character any time soon.

And finally, the anniversary rewards. Which didn't start about the rewards at all but in the means mihoyo was using to give those rewards. Which is basically: you work for us and give us your money and time and maybe you'll have a chance to win something. I kindly remind you that content creators in fandoms already give a lot of things for free. They are the BACKBONE of any fandom. Treating your general player base wrong is one thing (a bad one) but also treating bad the creators who give you millions by free promotion with their work is just plain stupid.

And after all that, when people FINALLY start complaining seriously you not only hide behind the curtain but also censored all ways for those people to be able to express their frustrations. That's just evil, if you mind me.

Because we're not talking about an indie low budget company. We're talking about a billionaire company. There is a team of rich dudes behind Paimon's voice who made the conscientious choice of doing this shit because companies keep getting away with it (the contests, the unpaid labor) all the time.

Do you really think bad ratings in android have made them break a sweat???? No! They're fine! I can assure you you don't have to worry about millionaires. Instead, why don't you stop calling genshin's playerbase greedy and support creators who spend time, money and work into giving us content constantly? Stop trying to gaslight people into thinking that we asked too much from the beginning, because what we asked for it's nothing in comparison of what we give.

(by the way, this isn't an excuse for people to be disgustingly racist at mhy and its devs. Nothing is an excuse to be fucking racist. Stop behaving like assholes and focus on the real problem.)

[exeggcute]

genuine question, wasnt tumblr already planning the nsfw ban before the app got removed from the app store back in 2018? and im curious as to how twitter gets away with having porn on the ios app while tumblr has to ban tags like "mine". fuck apple and all, im sure they play a huge part in all this, im just confused honestly. how much of this is really on them?

your guess is as good as mine (no idea what their product roadmap looked like back then) but afaik there was never a porn ban in the works before then... you could definitely see tits on the dash up until the 2018 ban (and I mean you definitely still can, technically lol). but also remember that this website changed owners a million times so it's very well possible that some peabrained executive at like yahoo or whatever made a decree that tumblr would become ""family-friendly"" and it never materialized. if there's one thing I've learned in software dev it's that C-level dipshits love to make promises that may never get realized.

it's genuinely not in tumblr's interest to restrict content like this though. think about it: restricting content (especially something as nebulously all-encompassing and popular as "adult" content) restricts your user base, and restricting your user base means less traffic. less traffic means less ads served which means less money, because most ads are paid per impression. unless tumblr thinks they can rebrand themselves with a squeaky-clean image (and they're not stupid, I know they don't think this) there would be no point in enacting a policy like this other than shooting themselves in the foot for no reason. no other social media sites do this willingly. (also the fact it's only applicable to iOS users also really tells you everything you need to know.)

now, when it comes to questions of actual content moderation and bots and shit... that's another matter entirely. and also imo not even relevant to this discussion since it's a whole separate nightmare but I will say that tumblr's content moderation (in terms of "if enough people report a nazi will they actually get banned") seems to be slightly better than average, although the bar is extremely low. but social media in general is plagued with moderation problems and part of it is a labor problem and part of it is stuff I don't want to get too into because I might technically break an NDA lol. but it's a worthwhile, albeit separate, topic to pursue!

[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Break My Heart

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4  🡪chapter 5  🡪chapter 6   🡪chapter 7  🡪chapter 8  🡪chapter 9  🡪chapter 10  🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17 🡪chapter 18 🡪chapter 19 🡪chapter 20 🡪chapter 21 🡪chapter 22 🡪chapter 23 🡪chapter 24 🡪chapter 25 🡪chapter 26 🡪chapter 27 🡪chapter 28

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

You say my name like I have never heard before I'm indecisive but this time I know for sure I hope I'm not the only one that feels it all Are you fallin'?

Center of attention You know you can get whatever you want from me Whenever you want it, baby It's you in my reflection Now I'm afraid of all the things it could do to me If I would've known it, baby

I would've stayed at home 'Cause I was doin' better alone But when you said, "Hello" I know that was the end of it all I should've stayed at home 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go Am I falling in love With the one that could break my heart?

I wonder when you go, if I stay on your mind Two can play that game, but you win me every time Everyone before you was a waste of time Yeah, you got me

click here to be on the update list

NIALL

                                                       I let my finger slide on the strings of my guitar but my eyes were on Devon and my head was thinking about her, too. She was laying down on the couch, her legs on my thighs, reading a book, and the way her eyes moved into a frown or opened more into slight surprise was mesmerizing me. We hadn't really talked in a few hours but it didn't matter, I still felt completely at ease with her. We were sort of used to it since it happened a lot when we were in our room at college, but here, in my apartment, it felt even better.

We had taken a walk earlier, got caught by snow and grabbed food on our way back. We ate together with a glass of wine in the kitchen and when we got up to relax in the living room, I realized that It was my favorite day in a very long time. It had started amazingly but I had to admit the sweet moments with her were hard to beat. I knew we'd have problems if we stayed a few more days away from everyone, especially with our classes and school projects, but I wanted it so bad it made my heart twist in my chest when I thought about it.

Would we go back to be only friends? Would her stupid ex still be around? Would he message her again? Would she push me away the way I pushed her away when we met? I liked to believe that everything would be exactly like it was now but I couldn't be sure. It felt different here, like we were in a parallel universe, or alone on an island. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to stay here with her, and I was ready to put everything else on hold and risk my school year to make sure things wouldn't change between Devon and I. That thought was scary and I closed my eyes, trying reason myself. I couldn't fall again so hard for someone. I became dumb and blind when it happened and I knew it wouldn't end well.

I got out of my thoughts when Devon's phone beeped and she groped around to find it, her eyes never leaving her book. I checked the title and my lips curled slightly on the left when I realized it was a book about famous painters and their history. Why wasn't I surprised? It made me wonder what the painting she had started in the guest room looked like but I would never invade her intimacy by looking at an unfinished piece of art without asking her.

"Oh, god." Devon let out, checking her phone and chuckling nervously. "Our friends are so stupid."

Immediately, I knew she was talking about Louis and Lewis and I raised my eyebrows.

"What do they want?"

"See for yourself." she just replied, handing me her phone.

I frowned and grabbed it, noticing they had left comments under the pictures of me that Devon had posted earlier in the day. The first few were comments about the fact that I was almost naked and I rolled my eyes with a smile, but when my eyes found one specific comment from Lewis, I raised my eyebrows and chuckled.

'I dare you two to fuck!'

I re-read it a few times before checking Louis' answer that simply said. 'I bet they already have!'

I groaned and glanced up at Devon who was looking at me with an amused smile. Finally, I continued reading their interaction with my nose raised up.

'Do you know how long it took them to be friends? They definitely haven't fucked yet.'

I couldn't pretend he was not right but it was slightly annoying to see your friends discuss of your love and sex life on a public social media under pictures of you in boxers.

'Lewis, touché. Niall & Dev, I double dare you'

I waited a few more seconds and just held out her phone to Devon, making her chuckle. She took it back and put it away before moving her upper body slightly up, her book placed on her stomach but still open to keep her page. My eyes roamed on her and a bunch of nasty thoughts appeared in my mind.

"It almost makes me want not to fuck so we don't give them what they want." I admitted, raising my eyebrows.

"Almost?"

"Almost."

This time, my lips curled as she laughed and I did the same. My smile fell slowly as I looked at her, turning into a fond look. They were right about something, it really had taken us a while to become friends, and It made me wonder how many moments we had lost while I tried to hate her. I normally could contain myself quite well but when it came to Devon, it had been difficult for me since day one. I had kissed her randomly and maybe a bit roughly a few times because it was stronger than me, because I didn't hate her and I knew I never would. And she had answered my kisses every time, giving me back all the feelings I tried to communicate her, probably even more.

"Devie..." I whispered, licking my lips nervously as her eyebrows raised. "You remember when we got locked in the library for the night? You grabbed my notebook and It was not our school project so I just.. took it back?" she nodded slowly with a frown and I cleared my throat, twisting the fabric of my sweatpants as my other hand grabbed my guitar tighter. "I was writing a song. I was writing a song about you."

Her lips parted and she remained motionless for a while, just staring at me as my heart thumped so hard in my chest I felt like it was going to explode or escape. I waited for an answer or a move, any reaction coming from her would be fine, but nothing happened and I breathed in, taking my guitar better as I started playing.

"Like the rain on a sunny day There's a shadow behind your face Tell me what you're running from I don't know what made you so afraid Don't you know you got the best of me? Yeah, you're everything I want

Anyone can see Anyone can see You're hiding, hiding You can talk to me It's more than skin deep But I'm trying, yeah

Since we're alone Yeah, you can show me your heart If you put it all in my hand No, I swear No, I won't break it apart Since we're alone Show me all that you are And if you get lost in the light It's okay I can see in the dark

All your thoughts running through your head The things you think better left unsaid Just wanna know where you came from Why would you wanna play someone else I love you best when you're just yourself Yeah, you're everything I want

Anyone can see Anyone can see You're hiding, hiding You can talk to me It's more than skin deep But I'm trying, yeah

Since we're alone Yeah, you can show me your heart If you put it all in my hand No, I swear No, I won't break it apart Yeah, since we're alone Show me all that you are And if you get lost in the light It's okay I can see in the dark"

When I was done, my eyes met hers again and her head was tilted. She was tearing up and I didn't know why but the fact that she seemed touched made me feel better. She moved her upper body up slowly, holding herself with her elbows and her book slipped from her stomach to the ground but she didn't give it a second glance. She simply reached for the front of my shirt, grabbing it in a fist and pulling me with her slowly. I held my breath and my lips parted. I couldn't take my eyes off of her and she brought me on top of her. My guitar fell on the carpet in a thud, joining her book, as I lied down on top of her. My lips met hers and immediately, she whimpered in my mouth, grinding her hips up against me. Her hand slid on my back and she moved my shirt over my head. I helped her by moving slightly up and as I was throwing it away, she reached for the bottom of hers and took it off too. It got caught in her hair and I pulled on it gently, letting it fall on the floor. My eyes ran on her and I noticed she held her breath but I was not sure why. She reached the sides of her pants and squirmed beneath me to take them off, pushing them down to her legs before one of her hands reached behind my head and pulled me closer. Our lips touched again and I groaned low as her hand gripped my hair.

I could barely believe she was finally completely naked around me and that simple thought excited me more than I thought it would. I felt her reach between us, grabbing my cock over my pants and without thinking, I pushed my hips against her hand, impatient to be inside her. I could pretend I didn't know if that's what she wanted but by the way she was kissing me and touching me, I was sure about it. I brought one of my hands to push my pants down and this time, she's the one who helped me. I struggled to take them off completely and when I grabbed them to throw them on the floor, I did the same with hers. It got stuck under my knee and I squirmed more as she giggled a bit and I smiled too when I was done, moving back over her and looked in her eyes.

"I really want you." I whispered, making her smile disappear.

"Me too, Niall." she replied just as low before pressing her lips together. "That time in the elevator... I thought we were going to do it right there on the floor."

Her confession made me raise my eyebrows and I chuckled in surprise. "You would... you would have wanted to?"

"Mmhm, yes. I wanted it just as bad as I want it now."

As if to prove it, she moved her knees up around me and I felt the tip of my cock slip inside her. Her eyes rolled back and she closed them as her back arched a bit. I remained motionless but I could feel her throb around my tip, proving me how horny she was. It turned me on even more and I moved closer, running my tongue on her jaw before reaching her neck. I started sucking on her skin as I pushed myself slowly inside her and her grip tightened in my hair.

"Fuck, stop for a second or I'm gonna cum." she whispered, gripping my hair so tight it could have hurt if my cock was not buried deep inside her.

I started nibbling on her neck, feeling slightly dizzy from her confession but from the way her body reacted, I knew she was not lying.

"You feel so fucking good." I admitted low, moving my head up slightly to suck on her ear. "Love the way you clench around me."

She whimpered and I let my mouth travel until hers before kissing her gently but deeply. Her grip in my hair loosened and I started moving in and out of her so slowly it was barely bearable. It only took half a minute for her to start shaking under me. Her back arched and she closed her eyes tight, making me reach between us to rub her clit through her orgasm.

"Fuck, Niall, oh my god." she whispered as I watched her cum.

The sight was amazing and when she finally stopped shaking, she relaxed beneath me and I kissed her again. "Was good?"

"I'm so sorry." she apologized in a breath. "I couldn't stop it."

"Why would you want to stop it?" I asked as I started moving again, my lips still pressed on hers. "I want to make you cum as many times as I can."

I had no idea how long I would last for our first time but I still planned on making her cum a second time and when I started going faster and a bit harder, she started squirming.

"Fuck you're so wet." I admitted low, feeling her juice all over her inner thighs. "This is driving me fucking insane. Your pretty little cunt is so fucking perfect, did I tell you that before?"

Her lips parted but I frowned when she moved slightly, trying to reach for something on the coffee table. My heart skipped a beat when I realized it was her camera and she brought it up to snap a picture. I had no idea what it would look like but I liked it.

I couldn't help it and started fucking her harder, feeling my chest rub against hers as I held myself with my arms on each sides of her head. I slipped my fingers in her hair as I thrusted myself deeper and harder inside her.

I never thought our first time would be like that. In fact, I imagined it a lot rougher and dirtier, but it was perfect like that and somehow, I hoped that she understood all the feelings I had for her.

I heard the camera again and for some reason, I felt like she was simply taking pictures of whatever she could reach with her arm up. She seemed focused on what we were doing but I appreciated the effort and I kissed her lips as I heard the camera again.

"Mm, yea? You like my pussy? It's all yours." she let out near my ear. "Please make me cum again."

Her words brought a rush to my brain and I moved myself up on my hands, pushing my hips against hers to go balls deep. My eyes followed her hand as it ran on one of her breasts and then the other before it reached her clit. She started rubbing it and the sight brought me close to an orgasm. I tried to hold it until she started cumming again and when she did, she moaned louder than the first time, wiggling in front of my eyes and her pussy clenching even more around my cock.

"Fuck, Devie.."

My fingers curled against the fabric of the couch and I pushed myself deep in her as I came. It didn't seem to stop and when I pulled out, I realized I was still cumming. It gushed a bit on her pussy and she brought her hand to my cock, stroking it and making my orgasm even stronger. Once again, I heard the camera but didn't think much of it.

"Jesus.. fuck." I whispered, shutting my eyes tight and finally letting myself fall back down.

We panted for about a minute and I finally moved to lay down next to her but on my side, facing her. I brought her closer and my lips found hers, kissing her deeply and slowly. She tasted amazing and I groaned low in her mouth. She finally pulled away and my eyes fluttered open only to see a soft smile on her lips.

"Is that how you get girls in your bed?" she asked with a giggle, letting her eyes roam on my face and making me smile.

I buried my face in her neck and left small kisses on her skin. "Let's say it's the first time it ends up like this." I admitted with a chuckle, pulling her body flush against mine.

"Mm, and definitely not the last time."

I pulled away enough to be able to look in her eyes as one of my hands ran slowly on her back, along her spine. "So when I sing you an other song I wrote for you, we'll have sex again?" A small smile appeared on her lips and an amused one on mine. "Does that mean I have to write a new song every time I want to get my dick wet?"

She laughed and pushed my arm gently, making me laugh too. "Shut up!"

"Okay!" I just replied, moving closer and kissing her again.

Her arm wrapped around my waist again and I felt her body press against mine. I loved everything about this, even the fact that we were laying down on my couch and not in bed. Her hair was a mess and I could only imagine mine was pretty much the same. We were sweaty and exhausted but we still took the time to kiss each other slowly and deeply, as if we both didn't want this moment to end. In fact, I wanted this moment to start over every fucking day from now on. The more we spent time together, the more I wanted her to stay, and the more I realized my real feelings for her. Most of the time, I tried to push that thought back so I didn't have to deal with it, but right now, it was not an easy task. I knew she didn't want a relationship, but would telling her the three little words make her run away?

"Does that mean you're gonna write more songs about me?" she asked in a murmur when we stopped kissing.

Her eyes were still shut and her lips still so close I could feel them brush on mine. "Devie, I already wrote a few more songs about you." I admitted in a whisper, moving my head up and down extremely slowly to let our lips brush together again. "And I'll write many many more."

She swallowed hard and her eyes roamed on me. For some weird reason, it seemed like she felt guilty and she breathed in, licking her lips. "I spied on you." she confessed quickly, making me frown. "A few days after we met, I heard you play the piano and I just... I watched you while you wrote a song." My traits softened and she pressed her lips together. "The first time I heard you sing... fuck, Niall. You... you have no idea of all the feelings it brought inside me. Your voice just does something to me. That's... that's why I teared up earlier when you sang to me. Your voice just does that to me. You. You do that to me."

I moved my face closer and brushed my nose very slowly against hers.

"Your art does the same to me. Devie, your art moves me in a way nothing else moves me, except... except you." I admitted in a whisper. "The day I told you that you had paint on your face... I  walked to your painting class and searched for the painting with that shade of blue. Nothing else brought so many feelings in me. It made me compose a song in half an hour."

"My... art moves you?" she repeated, raising her eyebrows. "I move you?"

"Yes, you do." I confirmed, staring in her eyes to be sure she understood I was seriously. "All of you." I paused and shook my head. "Devie, I-"

She cut me by crushing her mouth against mine but I was not sure if it was to stop me from confessing my love or simply because of an intense need inside of her. I chuckled against her mouth as her hand slipped to my butt before moving up on my back.

"You're gonna have to show me those pictures."

"I will." she promised as I kissed her lips again. "Tomorrow."

[purplesurveys]

1312

survey by pinkchocolate

Hi there! List 10 friends, or anyone close to you. If you don't want to give names, you can use initials.

Dev

Angela

Andi

Kata

Reena

Nina

Hans

Bea

Gage

Ysa

Questions about Number 1

Name some of the authors/genres that might be found on 1's bookshelf. I...honestly have no clue. I feel like she may be into YAs though.

1's TV is on - what do you expect them to be watching? Shows like Gossip Girl, Grey’s Anatomy, Teen Wolf. She tends to gravitate to those types of shows.

Do you own anything that 1 gave to you as a gift? What is it? No, we’re not really that close yet. I might get her something for Christmas though.

What qualities does 1 have that you appreciate? She appears to be a reliable, in the few times I’ve worked with her. She’s also very sociable and is easy to approach and talk to. 

Does 1 take a lot of photos? What do they most like to take photos of? Yeah, she’s big on documenting her life through photos and videos on social media. They’re all nice to look at too, like she knows the best angles and filters to pick and such.

Questions about Number 2

2 has a day off work/school. What are they most likely to be doing? Either going out of town with Hans or binge-watching BTS content. I know her all too well LOL

It's dinnertime. What is 2's favourite dish to cook? I’m not sure if she has a solid cooking repertoire just yet but she will most likely make something like pasta or steak.

When you met 2, what was your first impression of them? We were 7 years old so I wasn’t exactly making first impressions just yet. I probably just viewed her as an unfamiliar face and nothing more.

And what do you think of them now? She’s my best friend in the whole world.

Is there a song that reminds you of 2? What is it? Moon, just because her bias is Jin.

Questions about Number 3

Name something 3 is good at, that you are not. Writing poems. They’re insanely good at poetry I’m usually too stupid to actually understand any of them.

The last time you hung out with 3, what did you do together? That would be at the start of the year and we had Korean barbecue, bought some soju at the grocery, and then had a heart-to-heart at some random corner in UP. We’re planning to see each other again before the year ends and we’ll probably play the Switch and maybe pick out something to eat after.

In what ways are you and 3 alike? We’d both bend over backwards and more for the people we love.

In what ways are you and 3 different? Oh they’ve got a whole lot more street smarts than I do, that’s for sure. Nothing is ever really a big obstacle for them. They’re also not afraid to go out there and take big risks, whereas I tend to stay on the safe side.

What's your earliest memory of 3? I believe I approached them first and told them I liked their shirt in the middle of a rally - this was when we were in college. I didn’t mean the interaction to be anything more than a quick compliment, but they were just so talkative and clingy and ended up talking to me about their EP and their plans to shift from engineering to journalism. My then-introverted self was a little bothered back then haha so I didn’t really talk to them after that encounter; but in the end they did make the successful shift to my course and we became closer from there.

Questions about Number 4

What kind of music did 4 listen to as a child/teenager? I actually have no clue...I should ask her that soon.

Have you ever celebrated 4's birthday with them? I mean, kind of? Haha she didn’t take a leave during her birthday last September so I technically spent it with her.

Name something 4 has experienced, that you have not. Getting puked on.

What colour would you say was most dominant in 4's wardrobe? I’m not sure but I’m guessing neutral colors since she was able to go to the office pre-pandemic and that color scheme seems to be popular with my co-workers.

When did you last speak to 4? What was your conversation about? Around an hour or so ago; just wrapping up work stuff.

Questions about Number 5

Does 5 drive a car? What colour is it? No, I don’t think she knows how to drive actually. When we hang out with her, one of us usually has to pick her up.

What is 5's best physical feature, in your opinion? Eyes.

Name some things you'd expect to find in 5's refrigerator or cupboards. I know for sure she’d have Kewpie mayonnaise since we were just talking about this last week lmao. I guess also brown sugar? since she made us chocolate chip cookies a few weeks ago and they were the absolute bomb. In general she’s pretty good at both cooking and baking so I would guess her family’s pantry would be pretty full of all kinds of ingredients.

If 5 went to a coffee shop, what would they be most likely to order? Definitely some kind of pastry, like a doughnut; but as for coffee, idrk. She might be a mocha or cappuccino kind of person.

Do you remember the first time you hung out with 5? What did you do? Yeah, we went to Pop-Up with Angela and a couple of their other friends from arki and we all got pretty buzzed.

Questions about Number 6

How old was 6 when the two of you met? Well she’s my younger sister, so she’s known me all her life.

What do you suppose 6 is doing at this moment? Take a guess. She is probably doing school work, editing videos, or has already headed to fangirling over K-Pop over on stan Twitter. Really depends on her work progress for the evening haha.

Name something that 6 is enthusiastic or passionate about. Photography and filmmaking.

Does 6 ever wear jewellery? What kind(s)? She’ll wear earrings sometimes, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen her wear them. She recently bought a bracelet from a friend though, so I imagine she’ll start wearing that the next time she goes out.

Name some foods that 6 doesn't eat. She’s not super picky with food but I know she doesn’t really touch the more...adventurous kind of street food haha, like balut or pig ears.

Questions about Number 7

Has 7 ever dyed their hair? What colour(s)? I’m 100% positive he has not.

Is 7 older or younger than you? By how much? He’s older, but just by 3 months. We were born in the same year.

Does 7 have any tattoos? Whereabouts? What designs? Nope. Idk if he’s the type to get tattoos.

What's the nicest compliment 7 has ever given you? That I bloomed a lot after Gabie, and that it was nice that I started to be a lot easier to get along with and talk to after the breakup. He didn’t say it to me per se, he was talking to Angela when they were passing by my ex’s school; but Angela passed it on to me.

You're purchasing a gift for 7 - what do you choose? A box of those basketball card sets that he’s been buying recently. 

Questions about Number 8

Who introduced you to 8? Herself, I guess? Haha she was one of the two people I talked to during my job interview, the other being Ysa.

If 8 were going to a concert, who might they be going to see? BTS fooooor sureeeeeeee.

What do you and 8 have in common? We work quickly and are able to move on from one big issue to another. Like, a work crisis may happen and may be a big deal for a while, but as soon as it gets resolved we can quickly discard it from our memories as if it never happened lol.

Does 8 live within walking distance of you? Not at all, she lives pretty far from where I am.

If you saw 8 out and about, who would they most likely be with? Maybe by herself or with a best friend.

Questions About Number 9

What common interests do you and 9 share? A hatred for the government, history, and food.

What is one of 9's talents? He’s musically-inclined.

What's the kindest thing 9 has done for you? He buys me and my siblings soooooo much food every time he comes over, even though we insist that he don’t do it since he has his own bills to pay and brother to care for.

How often do you speak to 9? I wanna say once every few weeks. We’re both very busy.

Has 9 ever introduced you to any of their other friends? Hmm, I don’t think so.

Questions about Number 10

How exactly did you and 10 meet? She was the person who interviewed me for my current job.

Name something, anything at all, that reminds you of 10. Park Jimin.

What's your favourite thing to talk about with 10? Her current work frustrations, or BTS.

Any idea what 10 likes to eat for breakfast? I dunno, maybe something on the fancier side like Eggs Benedict.

What does 10 do to unwind at the end of the day? I know she’d take the occasional walk after work when I used to work with her, but I dunno if that’s changed.

[supersoftly]

As someone trying to get into the games industry, this kind of witch hunt mentality and political obsessiveness terrifies me. I want to find people to work with who resist the social justice inquisition into gaming but it feels like everyone everywhere is constantly pandering to pride month, BLM, etc. I just wanna make good games for gods sake, not spread political ideology.

My dev group has brought this discussion up multiple times throughout, at first jokingly, but now, its seemingly more real than ever. I'm not really great at solving the big picture, there are people far smarter than me who are tackling those problems, but for now, I'm confident that if you make good games that YOU love, people will come, regardless of what the mass media thinks.

I know your fear all too well, I'm an incredibly emotional person who wears their heart on their sleeve and sometimes I respond to bullshit in a way that is fulfilling to my principles, but ultimately of no benefit to me, so when I tackle emotional problems, I try to come at it as a genuine challenge of the modern times and try to see the opportunities that can be actualized through my own actions. If death, shelter, war and famine were what the people before us had to fight against, I think we have a pretty good shot at making something work given what we have.

For example, if Sony wants to ban sexy waifu games, maybe this will be an opportunity where Western devs step it up since veteran Japanese devs are locally locked out. I know it's not a fair or even glorious way to achieve your goals, but it's also about keeping perspective and never saying sorry for things you are genuinely not ashamed of.

My header has remained the same for years if only as a reminder to myself and others that you have to hold on to your dreams and not let stupid shit change you, because you didn't get a heart of gold when PC culture or a government or a company awards it to you, you had it from the start, don't let them convince you you don't have heart and be confident in yourself that if you truly believe you're making something you love that you want to put out into the world, you don't give two shits what everyone else thinks. Fuck em, make what you want man and there will always be people like you, me and many others who are looking for good fucking content.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #332

i’m even more tired than before to try and think up song lyrics, i’m pasting from Word and then fucking off to bed lmao.

What was the last video message you received on your phone? I think it was a clip of Doris (Sara's beardie) eating and just being her perfect self? Was your last birthday cake homemade or store bought? Store-bought. One thing you miss about middle school? Shit, nothing. Middle school was the worst. Do you have any shirts signed by famous people? No. Have you ever entered an art competition? Yes. Would you ever pierce yourself? No. I am very much about having a professional do your body mods/art. Plus, I have tremors in my hands. Do you live in a safe neighbourhood? Supposedly. We haven't lived here nearly long enough to know. What is the last thing you did that shocked someone? /shrug Do you often find yourself questioning your future? Only always. Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Yeah. Do you like your license photo? I hate my permit picture. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favorite? Not very, but I like 'em enough. I always say my favorite is Deadpool, but I know he's technically an anti-hero, but whatever. If you don't include him, uhhhh... maybe Spiderman. Have you started watching any new TV shows recently? No. Have you ever been able pet a normally wild animal, like a tiger or dolphin? No. :( At least, not to my recollection. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. There's actually a winter treat 'round here that you make with snow and sugar called snow cream. Good stuff. What is the messiest area in your home? Right now, the spare room/my wanna-be "office." What’s your favorite computer game genre? Still horror, like video games. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Have you received financial help from your parents in the past 5 years? I'm completely financially dependent on them still. Are you a fast or a slow eater? I eat like, stupid fast, but without being messy. People *cough*Mom*cough* will absolutely point it out, but I seriously can't help it. Making a conscious effort to eat slow feels way too weird. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? I don't know. Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? No. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? Ew, no. Tell me what's on your mind? I've been considering yet again reaching out to some tattoo parlors and asking if they're open to hiring someone to handle the front desk and take care of business besides actually performing piercing and tattooing, given my tremors. My group therapy has kinda been encouraging me to use the possibility for social exposure, and besides, I'm very comfortable in the environment and just general aura of tat parlors. I'm sure I'd have to answer the phone, handle money, and obviously talk to costumers, but I know and accept that. I've been at such a stagnant point with my social anxiety in particular that I have to start pushing back harder, and doing this I feel would be one of the most relaxed, social job positions I can hopefully handle. I don't dare to even try this though until I get vaccinated to protect my immunocompromised mom. Writing this all out has actually been pretty encouraging about this idea... Do you wish you never dated someone you dated? Yeah, Tyler. It was such a "I'm lonely and he was nice in high school, so we'll try it" situation. I got nothing from it. Are you scared of growing old alone? Pretty badly. What are you listening to right now? I'm listening to/semi-watching John Wolfe play the remaster of Resident Evil 2. What breed was the last dog you saw? He was a German shepherd. Would you ever go swimming during a thunderstorm? No. Any time a thunderstorm was brewing and I was in the pool, I'd always get out. What is the next concert you will attend? Mom and I plan to see Ozzy when/if he reschedules his tour after he had to cancel with his Parkinson's diagnosis. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :/ What's the highest science class you have taken? I don't know, actually. What makes you squeal like a school girl? No shame, seeing Mark and Amy do something cute together actually does this, lmao. What’s your favorite symbol? (i.e. the pentagram, the cross, etc.) Do fictional ones count? Because in that case, the Halo of the Sun from the Silent Hill franchise. I'm getting it tattooed somewhere at some point, I'm thinking the left side of my neck. I'm either gonna fashion it in a way where it looks branded on or carved into me. Have you ever been on anti depressants? For all of my pre-teen, teen, and some of my adult life. Apparently, I've only had one truly educated psychiatrist out of no less than a dozen I'd seen, because he fixed me right up. He taught me that those who suffer from bipolarity should avoid anti-depressants; they ramp up your bipolar symptoms. Instead, mood stabilizers are favorable. And what do you know, after I was prescribed a stabilizer and a catalyst for that medication, my depression decreased dramatically and became handleable. Have you ever starved yourself? Kinda. What’s the stupidest name you’ve ever given a pet? I had a guinea pig named Harry Potter. For no particular reason lmao. I'm not even a Harry Potter fan. Do you have nice legs? God no. Do you like fedoras? Okay so I know I am in the strong minority, but I actually do, haha. What is your favorite food group? Carbs. @_@ Have you ever got told that you should be a model? No, but one of the most flattering indirect compliments I've ever gotten was being mistaken for one. Jason's phone wallpaper was one of my favorite pictures of myself with my first snake, and someone asked him if I was a model. ;v;' What song is in a language you don’t speak, but you love it anyway? "Donaukinder" by Rammstein is one of my faves. Who’s a villain you sympathize with and why? SOBS Darkiplier bc his origins are so damn tragic and unfair. What book do you think should be directed as a film? Was The Giver ever made into one? I don't remember that book well, but I do recall it being absolutely beautiful. Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? No. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? Yeah. I have thousands on the Silent Hill wiki, where I'm one of the admins. I'm also a content moderator at the Team Ico (Shadow of the Colossus devs) one. Every now and again I used to go on the meerkats wiki as well, where I mainly fixed the fucking nightmarish grammar. Very briefly, I edited at the Dragons of Atlantis wiki as well. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? Not very, but of course I still acknowledge the risk and am more conscious of hand washing and stuff. What popular social media platforms AREN’T you on? Snapchat, I don't actually use my Twitter, I don't have a personal Instagram... There may be more, idk. Is TikTok a "social media platform?" Because I don't have that, either. What was the name of the first porcelien doll you got? Never had one, given I was afraid of dolls as a kid. What’s your favorite Paramore song? "Decode." Would you be happy with a life without romance? To be entirely honest, I'd feel like I was missing something. Was your childhood happy? Mostly. What fundamentally matters do you? Love, kindness, peace, all that gooey stuff. Is true world peace ever possible? As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think so. The human population is far too big to come to a unanimous agreement on anything. Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? Yeah. Would you ever own a pet black widow spider? No. I'm getting more into the idea of owning invertebrates (I jabber enough about wanting tarantulas, and there are others, like mantises, I'm interested in as pets), but black widows, I'm not into the idea of having. Too venomous for me to be comfortable risking. If you have a job, what is the longest shift that you've worked? N/A Do you know all of the words to "Bohemian Rhapsody?" FUCK YES I DO. ^ Do you sing it with all of the different voices? sho nuff Do you own more than one copy of a certain book? No. Do you like interpreting poetry or just reading it for fun? Both. I love symbolism, so I get joy out of digging for subtle meanings in poems. Do you have a favorite Dr. Suess book? Yeah, it was always Green Eggs and Ham. Do you watch The Walking Dead? If so, favorite character? Not the show, but I've watched let's plays of the games, haha. In which case Clementine is inarguably one of the best female characters in a video game universe. Who has/had the most mature romantic relationship you’ve seen with your own eyes? Uhhh. I mean I never saw them much, but probably my late grandmother and her last husband. He was fucking incredible to her, and Grammy adored him as well. They helped each other so much and just obviously had the purest love between them. When was the last time you got something for free (legally)? What was it & have you enjoyed it so far? Lmao do balls in Pokemon GO count? Their occasional free boxes are the reason I can play the game because PokeStops are essentially non-existent here, so yes. What is the one fruit you can’t stand to eat? How about vegetable? The first one that came to me were oranges. I enjoy orange juice, but I just caaaaannot with the white veiny shit that you can't totally get off when peeling it. Without that, I might actually enjoy them, but idk. As for vegetable, asparagus is absolutely abhorrent. When’s the last time you actually recited the pledge? If you aren’t American, do/did you have anything similar in your country that you do during a time at school? Probably not since high school. Last person you shared food with? Ummm I have no idea. It's really just Mom and me here and we eat our own stuff. What was the last song you heard for the first time and enjoyed? I believe it waaas... "Down In The Park" by Marilyn Manson, maybe. If your life was a TV show, what would be the theme song? My inner high school emo just screamed "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by AD2R. Who are some of your favorite female fictional characters, and why? Gahdamn, there's a lot. I don't feel like going through a mental list in my head and then describing why. A character (in anything) you wish hadn’t been killed off? Vol'jin; I think the entire WoW fanbase will forever be pissed about it. It was THE most "lul we dunno what 2 do w/ him anymore, let's let a totally random, unnamed, unimportant demon kill him" like what the fuck, Blizz. Most of his "oomph" was in the book, and I just really wish they'd done so much more with him in the game. Has anything “cute” happened in the past week? Off the top of me noggin, no. When did you last say “I love you”? Did you mean it? Yesterday to Sara. OF course I did. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? Hi, PTSD, how are ya. Have you ever slept all day? Essentially. When I was on a larger dose of my anxiety med, I physically couldn't stay up for barely even five minutes, and when I'd lie back down, boom, I was OUT. I stayed on that dosage for I think just that one day, it was so bad. Can you have kids? Well, I have a functioning menstrual cycle, so I would assume so. Doesn't mean I will, though. What colors of mascara have you worn on your lashes? Only black. Do you like eating sour things? Hell yeah, I love sour stuff, candy in particular. Do you like pickles? fuuuuck yeah Did you ever have a really close friend move away? Yeah, in elementary school. I feel bad I can't remember her name at the moment... What's the most creative thing you've ever done? I mean, I guess the things I've written in RP. What's the most creative thing someone has done for you? For me? I don't really know. Do you like to watch ghost-hunting shows? Sure, they're some of my favorites. What’s something you’d like to be better at? Social interaction. Have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad? Yeah. Do you think you would make a good parent? No. I know I wouldn't. The only time I ever wanted kids was with Jason, and honestly, I really hope I don't end up with a man because I never want to deal with that urge again and make a mistake. I'm just in no way emotionally fit to be a mother. How many best friends do you have? Just one. What do you cry over the most? My PTSD, honestly. I never sob about it anymore, just shed some tears. What language did/do you take in high school? Latin for one semester, then all four available for German. Which sports do you follow? None. Who was the last person you talked about marriage or having kids with? About marriage, Sara. Kids, the subject was lightly touched upon with Girt, though "with" was never a part of it, but obviously implied seeing as we were dating with long-term in mind. Have you ever been in a house fire? No, thankfully. Have you ever made out for one straight hour? them is rookie numbers Are you any good at remembering phone numbers? No. I literally don't even know my own, nor my mother's. I need to fix that. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Girt. Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? No. If I gave you twenty bucks what would you do with it? Save it to go towards Venus' terrarium. Is there a movie from your childhood that you still watch today? Well of course! I'm unashamed to watch any "kids" movie I enjoy, like Disney ones. Most "kids" movies tend to be better than those intended for adults, it seems... Are you afraid of mice? Oh no, I adore mice and I think had a pair as pets before I got rats. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I can't really answer this; I haven't gone on nearly enough vacations to develop a theme. I can say confidently though it'd probably be something small. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't enjoy musicals. Have you ever watched Doctor Who? One or two with Sara, yes. I know we at least watched the weeping angels episode. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? Warriors by S.E. Hinton. Sometimes I wanna get back into them, but I am YEARS behind and more into Wings of Fire anyway, so. I don't read nearly enough for both. How do you get rid of your hiccups? Literally no trick seems to work for me. I just suffer lmao.

[nbhd-daily]

LILY PATTERSON: Where the fuck is Chip Chrome? I noticed you deactivated your Instagram.

JESSE RUTHERFORD: [Laughs] I like that you turned the “who” to “where.”

PATTERSON: Obviously, there’s one glaring reference for an alien rock star alter ego—

RUTHERFORD: Wait, wait, wait, who though?

PATTERSON: … Ziggy Stardust?

RUTHERFORD: I’m just joking.

PATTERSON: [Laughs] Oh my god, I was like, “Did I say that clearly?” But yeah, you’re channeling an icon. Tell me about bringing Chip to life.

RUTHERFORD: I’ve had the idea for Chip for about two and a half years.

PATTERSON: So it’s been baking.

RUTHERFORD: Yeah, I had the name, the whole shit. Obviously, Bowie is a giant reference… Ugh, I hate that word. A giant inspiration. It’s funny; when I was a kid, people would tell me about him, but I wasn’t really interested. I was gravitating toward hip-hop or modern pop. First, I got really into interviews and just watched the man talk. Then the music. I’ve always been an in-between kind of fella. I’m not quite this, I’m not quite that. I’m not super masc, I’m not super feminine … I’m kind of a confused person, to be honest with you. Bowie has helped me route. Like, here you go, this is a blueprint, an architecture. Not to say I sound like him at all.

PATTERSON: You deployed @chipchrome on Instagram, a platform that’s created so much anxiety around being “real,” being consistent, endlessly delivering your personal brand. And now Chip’s off the grid.

RUTHERFORD: I’m trying to figure out myself in all of this. Maybe I’m expected to have already done that, but I haven’t. I feel like I turned into a “thing” on the Internet. When you work on a piece of music for a long time, you post it, and it gets X amount of likes, then you post a picture with your girlfriend and it gets X amount… It’s just a weird, challenging, confusing feeling. I feel like there’s an opportunity to get off the platform, or at least try it this way.

PATTERSON: How many months ago did you debut Chip? August?

RUTHERFORD: Yes. I killed @jesserutherford when I turned 27. Dead at 27.

PATTERSON: A not-so-subtle 27 Club reference.

RUTHERFORD: Exactly. It’s this ridiculous motif. Really, I want to have fun with this stuff, play with it. Like, yo, nobody paints themselves silver, throws on a Spandex suit and a grill. Then, of course, Kanye West comes along…

PATTERSON: [Laughs] Major Basel ‘fit.

RUTHERFORD: Bowie passed and everyone started to think about him again, riff on him. But no one was taking it to the full Ziggy extreme! There’s a Tekashi69 out there but no Ziggy Stardust? C’mon. It feels comfortable for me. I’m having fun.

PATTERSON: Can you describe the physical process to go full Chip? Side note: I saw a picture of that reflective Marine Serre balaclava you scored recently. Insane.

RUTHERFORD: The makeup itself isn’t too long of a process. I’ve always done it myself. Actually, I have a friend of mine who rips at makeup, Sydney, @sydn4sty on Instagram—

PATTERSON: Good friend plug.

RUTHERFORD: She’s bomb. Me and Dev [Devon Carlson, Rutherford’s partner] met her, she was our neighbor at an apartment we lived at a bit ago. She came over, fucked around and helped me with an eye design. For the most part, though, I’ve always done it on my own. We did a tour recently, and I’d usually start an hour before the show, giving myself time to get in the headspace. I could turn into Chip in 25 minutes. It doesn’t take that long.

PATTERSON: What about the suit?

RUTHERFORD: The silver suit is a stupid Spandex suit from the boulevard. I just ended up going into one of those places, figuring out a suit that worked there. Taking measurements and shit, getting the sizing right.

PATTERSON: Love that.

RUTHERFORD: I premiered Chip at a B-level, crusty, Hollywood, kind of spaghetti Western-y place. Which felt right. But as you can see—you referenced the top Dev got for me—there’s so much opportunity for Chip to grow visually. When we [The Neighbourhood] go on tour later this year, I want to develop this. But there’s also something about the campiness, this B-level visual, that I really like. It feels authentic to me.

PATTERSON: All in a time when people are hiring stylists for their hotel-lobby-to-car looks.

RUTHERFORD: [Laughs] Exactly.

PATTERSON: I feel like the DIY, the physical process of putting yourself together imbues a certain energy, a sort of leveling with your audience.

RUTHERFORD: Right. Thanks so much for noticing.

PATTERSON: Is Chip working its way into your solo act? Or do you think you’ll reserve it for The Neighbourhood?

RUTHERFORD: It was gonna be its own thing. I had no intention of bringing Chip into The Neighbourhood. It sounds corny, but the reason I wanted to do Chip for The Neighbourhood is—I don’t know if you’ve heard our song, “Middle of Somewhere.”

PATTERSON: I did. I watched the video.

RUTHERFORD: That song is a special one to me. I wanted to make sure that I could attach something to it that would make people stop, look, and have to listen. We were gonna do a textural video, like B-roll footage, Super 8, nature-y. I wake up in the morning, and I go to the house we’re recording at, in Coldwater Canyon. Before our director Alex got there I was sitting in the house, looking across the canyon over on this hill, and I actually had a vision of the chrome fuckin’ thing on top of the hill. So I showed up the next day in full Chip regalia, and everyone looked at me like, “Oh, no…”

PATTERSON: [Laughs] So that was the first introduction between Chip and The Neighbourhood, when you made it a part of the universe.

RUTHERFORD: It was, yeah. Actually, this producer duo called Take a Daytrip–they did that Sheck Wes song [“Mo Bamba”], “Panini” by Lil Nas X–they’re doing so well. I’ve known them for a long time. They’ve always sent me beat packs and I’ll just go through, pick ten at a time. I thought Chip was going to be leaning more toward my hip-hop shit.

PATTERSON: Yeah, if you’d gone through with Chip as an independent project, how would it sound?

RUTHERFORD: End of 2017, me and my engineer, Danny, were in the studio, going off on Chip. If you ask my friends, they heard about Chip so long ago, they’re like wow, you actually did it! Chip was going to be hip-hop.

PATTERSON: Daytrip almost feels more aligned with this glitchy, chromed-out look than The Neighbourhood. I’m thinking of the “Panini” video, Lil Nas X in the space suit.

RUTHERFORD: Hip-hop music has been my programming. It’s been my love. When I was a kid, hearing Eminem, G-Unit for the first time, I was like… Bro, that is it. I don’t know if you know where I’m from, Newbury Park—

PATTERSON: Ventura County, right?

RUTHERFORD: Yeah, yeah. I was kind of the odd one out, in my neighborhood, my area, obsessed with rap. I decided to stick with the guitar, and I fell in love with it, not having to use so many goddamn words. In fact, I don’t want Chip to talk, because Jesse talks enough. It’s all in the song, that’s where I’m gonna leave it. And “Middle of Somewhere” is a good jumping off point. That’s probably the purest sound you’re gonna hear; it’s just me and a guitar. I’ve been really into Dolly Parton lately—

PATTERSON: She’s having a revival moment with us younger gens!

RUTHERFORD: She’s a great reference for what I’m doing, because Dolly will tell you, “Yeah, I don’t give a fuck if you think I’m fake on the outside, because I am! That’s what I wanna look like. And that’s fine, because I know what’s coming out of me is more real than anything. So I don’t have to worry about that.”

PATTERSON: People are gonna assume they know what Chip’s about; i.e. my questions about the Ziggy comparisons or the visual continuity with Daytrip’s sound. But the far-out visual is paired back to a fairly stripped sound.

RUTHERFORD: Exactly. It’s not what people are expecting. Right now, Chip’s dedicated to The Neighbourhood. The project is gonna be called—there might be a change—but right now it’s called Chip Chrome and the Monotones. The boys, the way we all look together… They’re shadows, they’re silhouettes.

PATTERSON: They’ve got the reflective two-piece suits, right?

RUTHERFORD: For the most part, I’m the only one who has to say something to express what we collectively feel. So if I say something they’re not into, they tell me. I mean, there’s two thousand songs the world won’t hear because we all didn’t agree. It’s working, though. When I first showed up as Chip, everyone was like “what the fuck are you doing?” Now that we’ve worked on the context, everyone’s down.

PATTERSON: Final question, easily the lamest. Will Jesse/Chip find their way back to Instagram?

RUTHERFORD: I guess I’ll say I don’t know. I’m only a couple weeks off.

PATTERSON: How’s it feeling?

RUTHERFORD: I mean, you know… I’m going through it a bit.

PATTERSON: It’s a hell of a drug. You ingest it, but it can also completely consume you.

RUTHERFORD: Comparing myself to everything, everyone, everybody I love… You can’t look at humans like that. I don’t want to think about what everyone else is doing. I feel my creativity pumping back up again. I mean, I have the queen of social media sleeping in the bed next to me. And it’s the coolest thing ever, the way Devon does it? That’s the way you gotta do it. Not work for it, but make it work for you. And that’s cool, that’s her thing, it doesn’t have to be my thing. Luckily, if I do want to come back…

PATTERSON: It’s all gonna be there.

RUTHERFORD: The weirdest twist to it all—which I love, which is wonderful—is that I get off of it, and a week later I get an email that Lily from Interview fuckin’ Magazine… I mean, it’s Interview Magazine! If that isn’t a sign to pay attention, then I’m an asshole and I need to recalibrate my vision.

[xxautumn-heartsxx]

Um... Hi...? Hahaha, this is my first time posting stuff here in tumblr (despite I made this account way back 4 years ago)

As you can see I'm not really that active here in tumblr, just recently, with how chaotic twitter is as everyone know. But I'll try to be more active here, with how wholesome people here in tumblr!

You may call me Astreria or Ayaka, my artist name is Autumn Hearts. I do like drawing and writing but I rarely post any of it due to my self-esteem as I find them not worthy enough to show it to everyone. I'm kinda embarrassed to show my work but I do love all my works and ideas and hopefully one day I can share them with everyone!

Well, about me, hmm... I'm fairly an easy person to befriend, albeit shy and awkward, but you can trust me that I'm friendly person! A multi-fandom fan, and I have a huge passion for anime/manga! Lately, started from 2018, I started playing online games such as Identity V, Arknights, and Genshin Impact as of late. Well, I'm no longer playing Identity V but I do love the aesthetic of its design and its plot, even the devs kinda neglected it.

Currently, I'm into Arknights and Genshin Impact. Hopefully I will get W and Hu Tao in their banners (or in Hu Tao's case, once her banner come). If one ask me who I simp: EXECUTOR AND ZHONGLI!!! I won't further elaborate why I seriously love them, I'll do it next time when I feel like it hahaha.

Now, as for the shipping, because we both know how serious is shipping is in every fandom, I will tell you this straight. I am very much open and respectful to all the ships. Yes, there are few I don't like but I'm not the type of person just to outright insult it and disrespect it because I don't like them. No, that is plain stupid and childish and everyone should know that. So please, let's be respectful.

I don't know how to end this, hahaha, so I just go say it. Other than I'm socially awkward person, I rarely engaged in social media. I rather go with my own pace but if one come to talk to me, either through comment/reblog/dm, I'm very much talkative hahaha. So feel free to talk to me! (P.S. I need friends hahaha)

Another note: English isn't my native language. I do apologize for my grammars and spellings.

[cullxtheherd]

📂📂 I’ll take two, please

Send “📂“ for a random yet completely useless headcanon I have

oh boy h babey hejbhdredrtfrkjg here comes some bullshit i have avoided talking about for a while but?? it’s fine i am ready to make people mad. avert your eyes if u need to the last one is very cursed - u have all been warned!!!

jacob seed: only eats sweets that cause him pain. cinnamon fire balls, war heads, spicy nut/one chip challenge- you name it, he will eat it. but i really dkjfkfg?? i really see him keeping a pocket full of those cinnamon fireballs at all times - why? being in the army he likely smoked cigarettes during the war + after and? from my own personal b.s.: he has suffered not only through the gulf war but a severe house fire in which he lost his wife- i feel that firebals have become a habit; a replacer, if you will. and i do think, on occasion- maybe after a few beers, or a particularly stressful day? he still smokes, despite knowing better.

NOW FOR THEBHFREGBFJKNMLG the real shit that’s probably going to make people mad

john seed in a survival new dawn au likely cuts his own penis off. and before you come at me all angry and bothered hear me out. seven years. seven. years. alone. in a bunker. with his own thoughts, sins and tragedies for first time. the depiction we see of john + the abandoned story lines and even the confirmed story bits from devs/etc? he may not be doing as many drugs but i am 99.99% certain that he is still on his darkened path at the time of canon. 

why? well: there HAS to be a reason Joseph lords the gates over his head- there has to be some kind of justification other than “you have to love them, john” - if that were the case?? none of the heralds would be granted access to the gates/powers - these are? disturbed, dark, problematic people and they aren’t capable of love in the same textbook fashion that you and i are familiar with it’s? twisted. murderous and quick- addictive, likely as well. 

now. absorbing all of that and moving forward: johns ranch was originally supposed to be where the Sinners™ first land when being indicted into the P.E.G. and some NPC dialogue even comments on the fact that the Peggies are having so much fun over at john’s ranch- it’s like a party, basically, is the gist. given this information and what i have already been rambling about? i highly- INTENSELY doubt he has really stopped the sexual deviancy/addiction. especially since it’s confirmed that joseph/faith was a reality, there’s booze and Oregano all OVER herald specific property? i’d wager that at the time of FC5 john is still on his bullshit, just? better at hiding it in my opinion!!

now. why. why in gods cursed name would i say that John would mutilate himself in this fashion? well. i’m an avid watcher of documentaries and oddities- curiosities, mostly. i’ve seen multiple accounts of men self-mutilating in this fashion. their reasoning? generally the consensus (from what I have personally absorbed) is that they realized, in a moment of either stupidity or brilliance, that their genitalia was the root of their evil, and, so? they removed it.

imagine, if you can, all of the things John has done not only to himself, but others in search of sexual + more gratification. he is? a nasty, dirty and evil boy - even joseph says, openly, “sometimes he was not even good”. joseph is? a relatively honest man, he plainly tells us of everything from the get-go; his plans, what will come and what hasn’t yet passed by- he isn’t someone who embellishes without good reason. he is essentially admitting that he is aware of John’s foulness, meanness- his transgressions and? i believe him. 

now. if you will indulge me, take this imagining a step further. John is essentially marinating in his own vileness. he is someone who sees himself as forward-thinking, he would likely call himself woke- he seems like the? yuppie, up on relevant topics type, social media Queen- he likely instagrams most of his meals/morning view, etc. he, without a doubt in my mind, is IMPULSIVE and in a flash decision- momentary insanity? i could see him finding that his own genitals are his undoing and removing them himself- his mantra is about not only learning and recognizing your sin/s but rending that/those sin/s from flesh and???? if he finds his penis to be his ultimate sin? 

adios ding dong, hello new dawn!!

[bloody-fists-beating-hearts]

It’s a Fallout76/Bethesda rant

Bethesda just released Fallout 1st, a horseshit pay-to-win subscription system for their absolute cum-bubble of a game, and while it’s getting the flack it deserves there are people already putting on their kneepads so they can gobble down Todd Howards entire turgid cock, and as someone who likes rpg’s way too much this irked me, so have a massive and barely coherent rant i took off the discord because why not.

I want to start off with this:  Every good thing about current fallout comes from the fanbase. The stories people tell, the headcanons, the fanfics, the art, everything fans do for it is made with more love, and more thought, than anything Bethesda’s writing and games design team has done in the last 10 years

Now first of all, I haven’t bought or played 76. People are gonna stop me right there and go ”well you haven’t bought it how would you know its bad!!” yeah, I’ve never eaten dog shit either but I can pretty well guess that I ain’t gonna fucking like it.

I knew the second he said "there are no npcs" with actual enthusiasm that this game was gonna be shit. And if you give me 2 seconds to gloat, I never bought the game and I knew this was gonna happen and I was RIGHT so suck my fat hairy nuts all those fanboys who pre-order things mindlessly just because there's a brand name attached to it. If there is anything you take from this its DO NOT PREORDER. BRAND LOYALTY IS FOR BOOMERS AND BOOTLICKERS. FOR FUCKS SAKE BE SMART WITH YOUR MONEY.

Games like this are fucking 80-90 dollars or more in Australia so I actually have to think about whether this momentary distraction is worth almost an entire days paycheck, and I’m still looking for employment which means I actually haven’t bought shit in a while (side note, anyone wants to commission me for 10 dollars I’ll draw damn near anything. God I need to make rent)

Every executive at Bethesda seems to be playing catch-up to EA's monetisation scheme. Beth has abandoned their model of single-player rpg's in favour of a "games as a service" model. Fallout 76 seems to me like its a weird experiment for just how far they can stretch this and still make money. It actually makes me wonder if they are 

 a) just completely unaware of fanbase response [no idea HOW]

b) are running into financial problems and are doing this out of desperation

 c) todd howard is still mad that obsidian made a better fallout than he ever could and he's doing this out of spite 

  Games as a whole has become much like the movie industry where publishers will throw big buckets of cash around to development teams, and those teams have CEO's and higher ups that throw lavish meet n greets and have nice fancy suits and cars and then treat their development teams like shit, overworking them to the point of exhaustion, because the product has to be on time for release dates that are scheduled to be the most profitable (christmas is a notable one). 

And those products are consistently bland, shitty, shallow experiences. Narrative cum-dumpsters that are purposefully made to toe the line as safely as possible, to be open to as wide as an audience as possible so they can make the most money, and Bethesda is a huge offender. Skyrim was fun, sure, but it was watered down to fuck, it had shitty dialogue, it had bland one-note characters, it had a simplified skill system. It was impossible to lose. Seriously, try and fail a fucking quest in skyrim, other than one or two, it's a hand-holder of an rpg, but it has a huge community of fans that put in monumental effort, for free, because they like the Elder Scrolls, and they like the world bethesda made. 

  Then Bethesda goes "hey, that watered down thing we made got huge! lets release it about 12 more fucking times, with some of the SAME bugs, with the SAME content, with the SAME limitations and Yes, we absolutely expect you to pay for it, again. Then they release the remastered edition which, to their credit, is free to anyone who already bought the legendary edition (on PC), and does actually have updated 64bit capability and some graphical enhancements (that aren't anywhere near what some goober in his basement cooked up in his spare time, but whatever). Then, seeing that Skyrim was so popular, with kids especially, and made money, they turn their sights to fallout 4, a game that was so anticipated that someone made a fake countdown and caused a small meltdown on tumblr/social media when it was revealed to be fake (i was part of that fiasco, i remember the hype, i was there goddamnit)

So Fallout, a franchise that literally has its theme as its FUCKING TAGLINE, an ADULT game that is equal parts crude, gory and humorous. A game that satirises the cold war era of american my-country-tis-of-thee blind loyalty and openly mocks the way war was idealised, and shows that not even the literal end of the world could either stop humanity's lust for blood or its desire for conquest. Games that showed you the growth of the world - from shady sands to the NCR, from the vault dweller to arroyo, shit actually happened in the games, the world didn't just stop turning when the bombs dropped. A game where you you become a porn star for fucks sake, and it's funny. 

So Bethesda sees that, makes something like it (fallout 3) which is good, but a little rough around the edges when you look at it too hard. But the way they suck you into the vault, the way they build a relationship with your dad and your way of life is immersive as fuck, so when you leave the place you actually feel like you're leaving something important, not just finishing the tutorial

then they outsource a Fallout game to obsidian, because hey, we saved your franchise by buying it off you, but if you can make an entire game in one year and get a metacritic score of 85 we'll even throw in a bonus. And fuck me sideways and in the ear, if the obsidian devs didn't work themselves harder than a 4-armed hooker. And they made a game that on release was a clusterfuck of bugs, because they were given an unrealistic time limit and missed the metacritic score by ONE POINT so bethesda goes "nhey heh sucks to suck" and fucks them off the franchise forever. EXCEPT (and I admit I'm biased here) the game is good. The game is actually really good when you remove those bugs, and people start forming attachments to it, and mentioning how bad fallout 3's writing is by extension. 

  So Todd and Co. in his infinite wisdom, decide that the only thing a fallout rpg needs is 50s aesthetic and fuck all else, and he releases a game so watered down it can't even be called an rpg. And its not. There are no skills. There are barely any dialogue checks. Instead of dialogue, Nate/Nora is a flat, samrish individual that is either "yes sir right away sir may i have another", "yes but i'm gonna make an unfunny quip about it" "this option pretends to say no but its gonna give you the quest marker anyway". 

The game drops any pretence of difficulty by giving you a deathclaw, a minigun and some power armour in the first 10 minutes, allowing you to effectively reach late-game power levels with some minor scavenging for ammo or cores. Then the game ropes you into some inter-faction war that realistically you wouldn't give a shit about, because some spud in a cowboy hat fucking deputizes you into a military general because you shot like 4 raiders from a rooftop (with a minigun. in power armour. making you nigh-invulnerable to bullets). You're sad about your son about 3 times the whole game and then you're on your merry way to mowing down humans left right and center without a care in the world. God fallout 4's writing is so stupid it gives me an aneurysm.

 Remember the part about resources wars and america only having the veneer of a strong country while riots, inflation, and resource shortages tore it apart from within? Bethesda doesn't, have an eerily stepford pastel coloured glimpse at a world that was totally fine, nothing wrong here, shame it got nuked oh well moving on

Your spouse? yeah you love them, they're said 2 whole sentences to you then they died, be sad because you totally loved them and it is totally sad that they are dead. Your weird play-dough son shaun, you love him so much, you even tickled him on the chin once, okay he's gone off you go to chase him - woah now, don't chase him too hard we have all these side quests for you to do! What would be the narrative reasoning for a supposedly distraught parent to fuck around boston instead of finding their goddamn child? fuck knows! just go pick up some goddamn wood and get to base building sonny-jim! 

Companions? yeah, they're fun, we gave them a romance questline and it's thus: if you pick enough locks and pass a minor charisma check maccready will be ready and willing to tell you about his sick child, and then he'll ride you like a stallion. Talk to him like, 4 times, and he will be your bosom buddy for life in about 3-5 days if you just pick locks like a fucking madman, because character growth is hard and counting beans is easy.

 Also your son is a part of the faction we were talking about! something about synths, remember that one questline from rivet city that barely anyone actually remembers and was an interesting time waster at best? Well get ready to do that same quest but about! 15! more! times! because we could not think of anything else to write about synthetically produced humans that assume peoples identities other than having them as a hamfisted metaphor for slavery. Why do they take over people's identies? Well because the institute needs them to aasdkfjdh kshshshsh t9oe of course. 

Speaking of hamfisted metaphors, here's the underground railroad, named after the underground railroad that actually mattered, except this time its the same thing but synths. They are so top secret that the only way to find them is to follow the only bright red line in a street that is exclusively green-brown otherwise, and then enter their super secret password, which is "password"

They are then, like every other faction, absolutely willing to trust you, at face value, no questions asked, because have to actually do something or require a skill check might make this hard for people under the age of 12 to play. Then you go do whatever fuckin shit you do, I stopped playing at this point, and then you find out your son is actually 60, you guys have a tearful, 10 sentence reunion, then he diesthe whole reason you were out here in the first place dies, and you react appropriately, which is to say you say his name really sadly, and then go back to mowing down raiders with reckless abandon

And then 76 gets released, bethesda drops all pretense of fallout still being an rpg. You want a story? Fuck you, pay up. Its retro future and thats all that makes falloutSatirizing war mongering? You can nuke things in this game and its totally fine, its actually the goal, because fallout has nukes in it right? Pay us 10 dollars and you get army olive drab spraypaint because hurrgh war is fun and great, wasnt that the tagline from the first game?The more i rant the more angry i am because people put their heart and soul into writing this. The lore and dialogue is actual work that someone researched and loved and felt proud of and now  it's becoming a hilariously meta parody of itself. 

Honestly FUCK bethesda and and fuck todd howard for his pisspoor cash grab. Not even worth calling it a video game anymore

[breezeinmonochromenight]

Eh, fuck it. I’m goin’ in (by request). 

In head actual canon, Vergil is written as a quintessential anti-villain, but later on also displays quite a few of the traits of a Byronic hero.

Anti-Villains usually have mostly good, well-meaning, or reasonable end goals (e.g. seeking power to protect themselves). However, their means of getting to those goals are pretty dark — usually anging from undesirable to evil. Alternatively, their goals may even be selfish or have long-term consequences for others that they don't care about, but they usually do have some good in them and would typically team up with the hero if their goals/means to achieve those goals didn't conflict with those of the hero or the hero’s ideals. (e.g. totally kill Arkham for being a traitor and a clown - not necessarily in the correct order - but still want to use your fancy new rotating Monopoly property to gain unspeakable power).

Byronic Heroes have strong passions regarding their ideals, but are nonetheless still deeply flawed individuals who may act in ways which are socially reprehensible because it is contrary to mainstream society’s beliefs. Byronic heroes are on their own side and have their own set of beliefs that they will not bow for. They will not change those beliefs for anyone. A Byronic hero is a character whose internal conflicts are heavily romanticized and one who ponders and wrestles with their beliefs and the struggle that comes with those beliefs. Vergil does exactly this by being a jade-colored glasses type cynic that has a dark and troubled past that he was shaped by. He even has the romantic element of this trope in the form of the mysterious tryst that produced his son.

Both of these are well-used tropes that can be used to add a lot of dimension to a character. And in this case, it is, and this is why people are interested in Vergil. The writers of DMC have pretty much stuck to this characterization to different degrees to reflect Vergil’s experiences — with him going from a straight-faced, no-nonsense, arrogant teenager with a ton of repressed emotional baggage in DMC3 to a slightly softer, more sarcastic version of himself in DMC5 that’s willing to win the age-old rivalry by default... a thing Vergil would never have done in DMC3. Ever. If one was to actually shut up and pay attention, they might pick up on just how big a deal these tiny little changes in behavior actually are as emotionally repressed as Vergil.

In the canon script, Vergil is actually a bit of a fucking brat in DMC3, and does not really give a shit about anything except his pursuit of power, and he pays dearly for the decisions he makes he makes as a jilted teenager at the end of the game. He cares about only himself at the beginning of DMC5 because he is finally fucking free of his Nelo Angelo prison, but he is dying and he is desperate and desperate people do desperate things. 

Whenever I see a very daft woman-child with clearly lot of hang-ups attacking people in fandoms and screeching nonsense, I often wonder ‘what went wrong?’. A weak sense of belonging is correlated to depression, and groups with shared interests, more often than not, do wonders for mental health. I also notice that women-children like this tend to make fun of other women and men (and they are men if they are in a certain age range - 18+ generally - manhood is not defined by who they are attracted to) and non-binary folks for ‘fawning’ over a character, I wonder just how fucking deeply sexually repressed you have to be in order to be this angry over other people expressing affection/shared interests in a fictional person.

I’m reminded of the time they mentioned those 3 background characters ‘fangirling’ over Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, because he was traditionally handsome guy and they, like the first time viewer, didn’t know just how awful he actually was. This doesn’t really have anything to do with the original topic, at all, so I also find myself wondering this person is projecting their anger issues onto random fictional characters again, and why they seem to have such a grudge against women or anyone they feel is completion/threat.

I’m also reminded that they clearly don’t understand Fight Club, either, or they wouldn’t be emulating Tyler Durden and using snowflake to describe both real people and fictional characters. They would get that the movie is a warning against hyper-masculinity and that, in calling things ‘snowflake’ in true Tyler Durden fashion, they create a very special type of irony where they externalize an idea about not being unique in order to create their own unique identity in opposition. 

I also wonder why they mention the whole Punisher thing at all, and just assume they’re raging because because their Twitter got suspended for death threats to politicians/harassing game devs/getting destroyed in political debates by actual fucking racists and Neo-Nazis that should have been fucking cake to clown on, because all this person can do is spew the same 5-7 insults and threats despite these people being legitimately horrible people. Then I move on, because this is all fucking ridiculous as is, and I realize that my thoughts are already gonna be long enough.

Lastly, I wonder what clown fuckers and monster fuckers have to do with Vergil in this context? Like at all? Regardless of my own personal preferences, I only see someone who is angry over other people’s sexual preferences and attraction because they don’t understand their own and going off on weird, unrelated tangents because of it. It makes me wonder if they would be angry if I expressed interest in space Nazis who are not attractive by conventional means and go about being complicit to mass genocide on a planetary scale while also actually committing patricide?  

Christ on a Bike.

*Sigh* I have to do all the heavy lifting, don’t I?

Might really is everything (to Vergil, because he sees it as a means to an end and the only to avoid being hurt again). And he takes this way, way too far and pays for it dearly.

Some people are too arrogant and too stupid to look past their own nose* and try to understand that people can make cataclysmically stupid decisions when they get pushed too far into a corner and see no other way out.

The way I see it, Vergil and Dante were already abnormal children that had a severely fucked up childhood — one that was defined by a horrific event they experienced from two separate, very different perspectives. Children are incredibly impressionable and their brains are like sponges — I could not imagine being scared and alone with something after me and having no one come look for me. It would scar me no matter what the explanation was. It’s reasonable believe that a 7-8 year old child who experiences something like that would grow up looking for a way to ensure it can never happen to them again, all while festering feelings of jealously toward a sibling who was shown (inadvertent) partiality on top of anger/betrayal because they didn’t understand why mom didn’t love them enough to come help. Kids can’t process trauma like adults, and this kind of shit mentally fucks children up in the real world for a lifetime. Traumatized minds don’t just ‘bounce back’ from something like that when given new evidence on a traumatic event — brains function like computer processors, but they aren’t just fixable like them. I’m sure if one was to actually look, they might actually see a fairly poignant message in all this.

People who are too arrogant often turn out not to be as smart as they think they are. If you’re excessively confident in yourself, you’re not going to listen to other people. (Note: Good job! this is ironic as fuck but the one line I didn’t have to edit!)

The only time Vergil smiles (& it’s a small, but genuine one — a grimace is literally the opposite of a smile and involves a frown, clenched teeth, etc.) is when he’s fighting Dante. This is because it is something he finally knows again — something that’s not part of a ~20 year long personal-made hell inside a suit of Angelo armor. There’s no real heat or tension in their DMC5 fights, and it’s comforting thing for both of them. Judging them for working out their shit this way is moronic because a.) they’re half-devil and don’t follow human social norms and b.) it’s a work of fiction anyway, you fucking numpty.

We don’t know if Vergil has remorse for the events he’s involved in because Vergil would not outwardly show remorse for raising the Temen-ni-gru or Temen-ni-gru 2: Horticulture Edition — that would be out-of-character for him. Any fan of the series should know this. However, if V is anything to go by (and he should be, because, y’know.. 👀), then yes, Vergil likely is remorseful.

The Abusive Parents trope is played with between Vergil and Nero, both with the loss of Nero’s arm and Vergil’s involuntary 20+ year absence because of his ownstubbornness and destructive decisions. Vergil did not know he even has a son and is emotionally constipated anyway, and Nero’s a hair-trigger hothead that wears his heart on his sleeve more than he is (probably even) aware of. Nero’s probably gonna be way too similar to teenaged Dante for Vergil’s tastes, and they’re gonna clash a lot, which creates drama intended to be entertaining for the audience.

Nothing says “I have fully missed the point” and “holy shit what went wrong in my life?” quite like someone arguing the same poorly researched 5-7 takes they have been arguing for like 6 months now on multiple social media sites. 

I saw this one Youtube commenter a little while back and I almost spit out my drink... I knew some people that didn’t like DMC5 were obsessively angry to the point of being totally fucking mental about people liking the game, but arguing in YouTube comments? Holy fucking shit that is another level of feral (and not the fun kind). I’d describe this person as a “cuck” or “bootlicker” but then I realize I’m not like 12 and don’t say the n-word on Xbox live, and that those insults don’t make sense anyway.

And this confusing shit, making me wonder what fucking game this person was playing?: 

If one is going to use a quote to end something, like, say, a legitimate character critique that is not steeped in the bias of their opinion, it makes the most sense to use a quote from something/someone like an objectively important literary work or author. Since Vergil is a Literary Boi™ and there may be “sci-fi / horror fangirls” reading this, I’ll throw a bone out to ‘em (since we’re at the end of this dog walk) and use a quote from Guy de Maupassant’s Le Hora et autres novelles fantastiques:    

“A sick thought can devour the body's flesh more than fever or consumption.”

For the unfamiliar: Guy de Maupassant (1850-1893) is often considered the father of the modern short story, and used pessimistic and disillusioned terms to depict the lives and destinies and interactions of the people and society as a whole in his stories. His short stories Le Hora and Diary of a Madman inspired the 1963 Vincent Price horror movie of the same name as the latter. Maupassant’s later life was heavily characterized by self-isolation and paranoia, and he penned his own epitaph before he attempted to slit his own throat with a letter opener and died in an asylum at age 42:

“J’ai tout convoité, et je n’ai joui de rien.”

I will let whoever reads this translate, and think, on that. 

—

(And no, no sources cited section because I’ve never been a particularly religious bitch.)

*It’s an idiom, don’t even try to spin that shit as anti-Semitic you absolute fucking loon.

[rpgmgames]

April’s Featured Game: Magical Disaster X

DEVELOPER(S): Atlas ENGINE: RPG Maker VX Ace GENRE: Comedy, Side scroller, RPG WARNINGS: Strong Language SUMMARY: Magical Disaster X is a zany comedic romp that has you control a posse of awful magical girls as they cruise through a secret hideout of hideously incompetent villains.

Play the IGMC version of the game here!

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! Heya I'm Atlas aka Melon Kid, making games is a serious passion of mine and I hope to stick with it for the long run, otherwise I occasionally do other junk like animation or slowly decompose in my chair as I disassociate from reality and become one with nothing, oh and I've been trying to get into art lately too.

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Atlas: I've always wanted to make a project that was outrageous and fun, but for a while I've never really had a proper vessel for it. But in the past year or so, I began recognizing magical girls as a seriously underappreciated genre in video games and I thought the two were a match made in heaven!

How long did you work on your project? *Atlas: I began concepting some stuff not terribly long ago but it was sitting on the backburner until the IGMC rolled around at the end of the year in 2018. The time limit for that contest was one month, so naturally I put it together in roughly a month too.

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Atlas: Oh yeah, a for sure influence is Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, some people have actually picked up on that on their own which was pretty surprising to me - and there's no way I can't mention Space Patrol Luluco which so excellently captures the feelings I want to put into the game. Both of them are Trigger animes. . . coincidence? :3c

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Atlas: BOY HOWDY-- okay so basically, the first half of the contest was a disaster because I somehow had to condense all of the cool things I wanted to do in the frame of a one hour game. I literally spent the first two weeks just scrapping story ideas over and over because I just couldn't be content with anything, halfway into the contest I had virtually nothing to show for it. At some point with a little encouragement from a friend I just stuck with my best idea at the time and rolled with it and. . . it turned out not so terrible, but man was my brain on fire the whole time from overthinking so much. To make it worse, the artist who worked with me last year (Inazuma / Golden Mimic) was suddenly out of commission and wasn't sure if he could participate or not. It wasn't until the last stretches that I was able to scramble together and get some friends on board for the project to try and make up for all the lost time. Remember how I said I made the game in a month? Yeah that was a lie, this flaming pile of wreckage was cobbled together in just a few weeks of massive crunch, god bless you Floramy.

Did any aspects of your project change over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Atlas: The initial concept differs from the IGMC project which differs from the current iteration so yeah. It definitely changed over time. For the IGMC game, pretty much all of the features, story ideas, and characters were gutted to make space for a compact 1-hour experience that could best convey everything I wanted to do with the game. It's like the core concept on crack, because I wanted to squeeze in as much fun content as I could in that short amount of time.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Atlas: At first it was just me and my artist Inazuma who I worked with last year, and then over the course of development it became me and @f-loramy, a very cool and handsome friend B^). And I definitely got a lot of support from other friends as well!

What was the best part of developing the game? *Atlas: I think the best part of development for me is seeing characters come to life. Story is such an integral part of everything I make and I love writing dialogue so when I feel like I get those interactions to click, it's very satisfying.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Atlas: I do play other RPG Maker games from time to time but just as a hobby, I've seen some impressive things done with the engine but a lot of the time I'm not too interested in the spectacle or fancy features.

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Atlas: Hesperos is definitely my favorite character. She's a blast to write for, she acts like a sailor-mouthed idiot and constantly does REALLY stupid things, but at the same time she's actually very observant and is a lot more soft-hearted than she'd have you believe.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Atlas: I don't think I could've done anything differently realistically, but I do wish I'd gotten it together sooner so I didn't have to finish the game last minute!

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Atlas: Yeah!!! Magical Disaster X is just a teeny slice of a giant five layer cake, I have so many things planned for it when I start on the full version of the game!

With your current project, what do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Atlas: There's nothing more I love than to watch let's plays or streams of the games I make and seeing people enjoy them. It's a very fulfilling experience that reassures me that folks out there really do enjoy what I put out.

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Atlas: I do want to go commercial and that aspect is honestly pretty daunting. I can easily imagine commission costs ramping up fast so I'm not gonna lie that has me sweating a little as a poor person. . .

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Atlas: This is going to be pretty unusual advice since most people will tell you to start with small projects, but here's what I have to say: Get to know the engine for sure, BUT, when you start working on a game for real, make sure you LOVE the concept or world. Something that you know for sure you'll want to come back to even if you have to sideline it for a while. See, I had this problem in the earlier phases of developing games, and that was to jump into projects where I thought "hey this is a cool idea! I'd like to do this!" But then it happened again, and I pushed the previous project behind me figuring I can work on two at once. And then it happened again, and again, and I was just shelving projects and ideas left and right. The one time I actually committed to one of these ideas, it sucked hard because I initially wanted it to be a smaller project but I started concepting a ton of cool stuff for it and expanded the universe and it got the point where I realized, I have all this sweet content but the core of the game was one I wasn't like super passionate about. It collapsed under the weight of its own feature creep and I gave up on it entirely - I had no intention of putting that much time and effort into a game I know I wasn't going to really love. That's why I've been curating my ideas WAY more carefully lately and been all the better for it. Maybe this won't apply to everyone, but for those that it does. . . you already know who you are ;j

Question from last month's featured dev @abigailfortune: Is there a certain theme or a topic you would like to explore in a game one day? *Atlas: Too many to count! Here's a funny story, my college English professor once told me that every story ought to have a message of some kind and I scoffed at the idea like "huh? That's dumb, it can just be something meaningless and fun." Which I still hold to be true, however, as I've gotten more and more serious about making games I've come to realize that I've wanted to include strong underlying messages in each and every one. Social and economic injustices, mental health, love and abuse - these are things I think about all the time and I feel somewhere in my heart that it's important to connect with people and let them know they're not alone, or to bring awareness to things they might not have even considered before. The point where a story, no matter how fantastical, really becomes 'real' is when it speaks to your audience on this deeper level and that's something I want to strive for all the time.

We mods would like to thank Atlas for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Magical Disaster X if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum