#devil!beej

[rtfics]

Another Beej 70s reference.

For those who never knew about them, that figure Beetlejuice splits

is a reference to Russ Wallace figures, which were all over the fucking place in the 70s. (I was a teen then, I remember them well.)

Russ Wallace figures were beige and had catch phrases, some pop-culture-philosophical, some with mild sexual innuendos (nothing was blatant in the 70s, kids), and some meant to be uplifting. They were mostly sentimental kitsch. People gave them as presents for birthdays, anniversaries, job promotions, you name it. The damn things were in people's living rooms, on office desks, even in banks and law firms. Gift shops were choked with them.

Some were risque, by 70s standards.

"The Devil made me do it" was a popular 70s saying, created by comedian Flip Wilson (who had his own TV variety show).

The figure Beej destroys is obviously modeled after this obnoxious figure.

Tim Burton, who's only a couple years older than I am, must have hated these things as much as I did. The movie's figure is close enough to a Russ Wallace design so that those who remember them recognize it, but just far enough off design to not be copyright infringement.

My headcanon is some satisfied customer who died in the 70s gave that figure to Beetlejuice in appreciation for a bio-exorcist job well done.

[bjfinn]

SHUTTERBUG

"Hey, Lydia," Beej said. "I got a question -- why do you go around taking pictures of everything?"

Lydia shrugged. "I don't know -- it's fun," she told him. "It ... relaxes me. And it's important to have a record of the way things are now, because you never know when things'll change."

"Okaaay," Beej replied, not quite understanding.

"It's like with my mom -- I have lots of photos of her, so I can look at them and see how she changed over the years as she got older. And now that she's gone, they help me remember the things we did together."

Beej nodded -- he was beginning to get it.

"And I take pictures of other things because they'll change, too. Everything changes, so it's nice to have something to remember how things were."

"Well, I don't change -- I'm a demon. So why take pictures of me?"

"Because you're my friend," Lydia told him. "One day I'll be dead, and I want people to be able to look at those photos of you and know that I cared about you. I want them to know that we had fun together -- that you're somebody worth knowing."

Beej frowned, his eyes tearing up.

"What's wrong?"

"I ... I don't like thinking about you being dead," he said. "I mean, I know it's gonna happen someday -- and I know that we'll still be friends after, but I don't want you to become a ghost."

She threw her arms around him. "I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. But it'll be a long time before that happens -- I promise!"

The demon shook his head. "You can't promise that," he said. "Nobody can. You could get hit by a car tomorrow, or some guy could rob a store next week while you're there and you could catch a bullet, or you could die in a plane crash next year, or get eaten by sharks, or --"

Okay," she said, "I get it -- there are a million ways to die, and nobody knows when their number's gonna be up. You're right, Beej -- I can't promise. But I can promise that I'll do everything I can to live as long as I can, okay?"

He smiled. "Okay, that's good enough. Can you show me how to take pictures? I wanna have some photos of you, so I can remember you being alive ... when you're dead."

*****

"I found one of my old cameras," Lydia said. "It's a little beat up, kinda like you ... but it still works." She handed it to him.

"I can use it?" Beej asked, turning it over in his hands.

"You can have it -- it's yours now."

"Really?" His face lit up. "You're giving it to me? For my very own?" He grabbed her in a fierce bearhug. "You're the best friend a demon could ever have!"

"Beej!" Lydia gasped. "I ... I can't breathe!"

He quickly released her. "Sorry," he said, brushing imaginary dust off her. "I just got a little excited -- I never had a camera of my very own before."

"Well, you do now."

"I do now," he echoed, grinning. He held it up, the way he'd seen Lydia use hers.

"You're holding it backwards," she told him, smiling. "If you took a picture with it like that, you'd get a close-up of your nose." She held up a small black object that looked like a pill-bottle. "Besides, we have to put film in it first."

Lydia took the camera from Beej and showed him how to load it.

"Now you have to wind it until the number one shows in this little window -- like this," she told him. "And now the camera is ready to go." She handed it back to him.

"Wow," he said. "Now I can really take pictures?"

"Uh-huh."

"What should I take a picture of?" Beej asked.

"Anything you want," Lydia replied.

He pointed his camera at her, and she struck a pose like a 1920s flapper -- left leg raised in a back kick, right hand lifted in a nonchalant, devil-may-care gesture. He pressed the button, and the flash went off. "My first photo!" he exclaimed.

"Congratulations," she said.

"I wanna see it!"

"You can't -- not yet. It has to be developed first -- after you finish the roll."

"What??? " he fumed, his hair turning magenta. "You mean I can't even see if it's any good? What if it's crap?"

Lydia laughed. "That's part of the fun," she told him. "The anticipation."

"Well, that sucks!" Beej pouted.

She put a hand on his shoulder. "I promise you it's worth the wait. Now, the sooner you finish the roll, the sooner we can get it developed."

*****

Beej spent the next few days taking photos. Charles, Delia, Adam and Barbara, the fireplace, the kitchen table, the couch, the walls, floors and ceiling -- nothing and no one was spared from his newest hobby.

"He's becoming a pest with that camera," Charles said. "He took a picture of me coming out of the bathroom -- right as I was zipping up my trousers!"

"Well, I think it's a good thing," Delia replied. "BJ needs hobbies -- otherwise he gets bored. And a bored demon is a destructive demon."

"But does he always have to photograph the most inopportune moments?"

"I have to agree with Delia," Adam said. "He hasn't been coming on to Barbara and I quite as ... aggressively as usual -- it's a bit of a relief."

Charles harrumphed. But he had to concede the point -- a few embarrassing photos was a small price to pay, given the alternative.

"And it's another step in his ... socialisation," Lydia added. "I'll talk to him about choosing more ... appropriate times to take photos, Daddy -- I promise." She kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you, pumpkin," Charles said. "That's all I ask."

*****

"Now comes the really fun part," Lydia said, taking the film cassette out of Beej's camera. "Now we develop the film, and we get to see the photos." She opened the door to her darkroom and beckoned the demon.

"Your darkroom?" Beej asked, surprised. "You're letting me go in? I thought I wasn't allowed in there. Ever."

Lydia smiled. "That was before you became a photographer," she told him. "If you want to develop the photos, you have to learn how -- right? But," she added sternly, "you're still not allowed in unless I'm with you, get it?"

"Got it," he replied, nodding.

"Good."

He followed her inside. Lydia closed the door and turned on the overhead light, and began gathering her equipment.

The demon looked around at the set-up, trying to figure out what everything was for. "Looks complicated," he said.

"It's not -- there's a lot of steps, but it's not really that hard to do," she replied. "Shall we get started?"

Beej nodded, and Lydia switched off the light, plunging the room into pitch blackness. Beej, who could see in the dark as well as if it were full daylight, watched his friend open the cassette, pull out the film and cut off the reel.

"Now we have to load it onto the reel," she told him. "You find the slit on the edge of the reel and slide the film into it -- like this -- and then you wind it up like this, until there's no more film sticking out. Got it?"

Beej nodded, and then he remembered that Lydia couldn't see him. "Yeah," he said. "I got it -- no more film sticking out."

"Now we put it in the tank," she told him. She reached into the cylindrical film tank and pulled out the spindle, and then inserted it into the central hole of the reel.

"How many times do you do that?"

"Just once," she replied, slightly confused by the question.

"Only once? Wouldn't it be more fun to keep doing it over and over again? You know, like ..." and he held up a loose fist and began moving it up and down, making a low, rhythmic moaning sound.

Because it was pitch black in the darkroom, it took Lydia a moment to realise what he was doing. "Not everything is about sex, you perve!" Lydia laughed, smacking him lightly on the shoulder. "Now," she continued, "we put it back in the tank like this, so the reel is flat on the bottom, and then the lid goes on. It's important to tighten the lid, so no light gets in to ruin the film, okay?"

"Okay," he said. "Now what?"

"Now we have to wait until tomorrow," she told him, switching the light back on. "The film needs time to ripen."

"What??? " Beej railed, his hair a mix of red and magenta with streaks of purple.

Lydia laughed. "I'm just kidding," she told him. "You're too easy, pal!"

He grimaced comically at her. "Grrr," he said, his hair returning to its usual green.

"Now we fill this tank," she told him. "Equal parts water and film developer."

"Equal parts."

She nodded and held up the bottle of developing fluid. "This is four hundred and seventy millilitres --" she opened the bottle and poured the contents into the tank -- "so we need the same amount of water." She handed him the measuring cup. "Fill it up to this line, please."

Beej, smiling goofily, went over to the sink and did as Lydia asked.

"Good," she said. "Now pour it into the tank, and then we can measure the temperature -- that's what decides how long the film needs to develop for."

Beej bit his lip. "I knew this was complicated."

Once that was done, she pulled off the outer plastic lid of the film tank.

"I thought you said that the light'd ruin the film!" Beej exclaimed.

"It's okay," she replied. "There're two lids, see? This one's okay to take off -- it's the inner one that has to stay on. Now, take the mixture and pour it into the hole in the lid. Good -- now we put this lid back on and set the timer."

Once the timer had been set to fifteen minutes, Lydia picked up the film tank. "Now we need to agitate it," she told him.

"I'm the one who's getting agitated," Beej said.

"Like this -- thirty seconds." She turned the tank end over end, counting down the seconds, and then set it back down on the table and counted to twenty. She picked it up again and agitated it for ten seconds before setting it back down. After a count of fifty, she agitated the tank for ten seconds, saying, "We keep doing this -- rest for fifty seconds, agitate for ten, until the timer goes off."

Beej's lip curled impatiently. "Why?"

"It's important to make sure that the film is bathed properly for the whole fifteen minutes. Okay, pick it up and agitate it like I showed you. Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Finally the timer went off.

"Now do I get to see my photos?"

"Not yet -- there's still a lot to do before that."

Beej grunted in frustration.

Lydia removed the top lid and poured the developer down the sink, and then filled the tank with the stop bath. "Now we agitate it for thirty seconds."

"More fuckin' agitation!" Beej grumbled.

Again Lydia poured the liquid in the tank down the drain. "Now for the fixer," she said, filling the tank a third time.

The demon groaned.

"Now we agitate it just like with the developer," Lydia explained, handing the film tank to him. "Same schedule -- but just for five minutes this time."

Beej sighed loudly and began turning the tank over and over in his hands as Lydia counted off the seconds.

"This is a lotta work, you know," he said. "These photos better be worth it!"

When the five minutes had passed, Lydia took the tank from her friend and poured out the liquid. Then she pulled out the spindle with the reel of film, turned on the faucet and rinsed the film under the water for several minutes.

"It looks the same as it did before!"

"That's 'cause this is the negative film," Lydia told him. "Once we're done, we'll still have to print the photos."

"Fuck me," Beej said, thoroughly annoyed.

She put the film in the larger tank, which she'd filled with wetting agent.

"It's already wet," Beej said.

"This stuff helps the film dry easier -- without it, you could get streaks."

After thirty seconds Lydia took the reel out of the tank and unrolled the film. "Now we hang it in the dryer," she said.

"How long does that take?"

"About twenty minutes," she replied. "Just long enough for some milk and cookies."

Beej grinned happily. "I think I like this part the best!" he said.

*****

"You know," Beej said, taking a bite of the oatmeal cookie in his hand, "I've seen other people takin' pictures with their phones -- and they get to look at 'em right away. Why go through all this trouble?"

"There's something special about taking pictures the old-fashioned way -- it's more artistic," Lydia explained. "Doing all this, going through all this trouble, makes the photos more special. You appreciate them more when you realise how much work is involved.

"It's like ... it's like Barbara with her pottery, or Delia with her painting -- they could buy that kind of thing in the store, but then it wouldn't really mean anything. A store-bought jug is just a jug -- it's only worth what you paid for it. But a jug that you made yourself is worth all the time and effort you put into it. And you get to say 'I made this myself'.

"Remember the Christmas presents you gave everyone? How happy they made us? It didn't matter if they weren't perfect -- you made them. For us. And that's why we loved them. And do you remember how it made you feel?"

"It felt pretty good," Beej said, smiling.

"That's because you knew how much work -- how much love -- you put into each of them.

"These photos will mean everything to you, because you did all this work."

*****

When the twenty minutes were up, Beej followed Lydia back down to the basement and into her darkroom.

She took the film out of the dryer and laid it flat on the table. "Now we check for any streaks -- the wetting agent should prevent it, but it's best to be sure. And I like to use film cleaner anyway, in case I miss something."

She took a paper towel and wet it with the cleaning fluid, and then wiped the film. "There!" she said. "Now we just cut it into strips -- like so -- and then we can print the photos whenever we want."

"Let's do it now!"

Lydia looked at her watch. "How about after lunch?" she suggested.

Beej's stomach growled loudly.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Lydia said. She slid the strips into plastic film sleeves, and the two of them headed back upstairs.

*****

Back in the darkroom, Beej helped Lydia set up the equipment they would need. Once everything was in place and the chemicals measured out, Lydia placed one of the negative strips in the enlarger carrier and adjusted the height, focussing it as she did so. She turned on the enlarger and began adjusting the aperture ring of the lens, focussing the image on the masking frame.

"It needs to be two stops darker than the lens' maximum aperture," she said.

"Okaaay," Beej replied. "Sure -- whatever you say."

Lydia smiled, chuckling. She used the focus finder to check the sharpness of the image, and then turned off the enlarger.

"Now we have to make a test strip," she said.

Lydia turned on the red light and switched off the overhead light.

"Why do we need a red light?"

"Photographic paper is sensitive to regular white light," Lydia replied. "But red light is okay." She opened the box of paper and took out a sheet. "We don't need to do this every single time," she said, "but I want you to understand the process."

"Okay," Beej said. He watched as Lydia cut the paper into ten 10x5cm pieces. She placed a filter into the enlarger, and then laid one of the pieces of paper on the masking frame, exposing it for five seconds. Then she placed a card along one edge of the paper, covering it to a depth of a half-inch, and exposed it for another five seconds.

Next she used the card to cover the paper to an inch, and exposed it for five seconds again. She continued covering more and more of the paper, exposing it each time, until the process was completed.

"Now it goes into the developer tray," Lydia said, placing the paper in the nearest of the three trays that had been set out and filled with the necessary chemicals. "It needs to be rocked gently," she told him, demonstrating, "so that the paper gets completely covered. You don't wanna use the tongs -- that'll leave marks on the print."

"How long do you need to do that for?"

"It only takes a minute or so."

She removed the paper and let it drain briefly, and then she placed it in the next tray. "This is the stop bath," she said. "It stops the image from developing any further."

"I wish I could stop baths," Beej said.

"Cute," she said with a grin. "This one gets rocked for ten seconds."

She pulled it out and let it drain, and then she slid it into the last tray. "This is the fixer -- it makes the image permanent. We rock this one, too -- ten seconds for test strips, but one minute for prints."

"Whole lotta rockin' goin' on," Beej noted. "Dewey should be here."

Lydia laughed at that, and Beej grinned happily.

"Okay," she said, removing the test paper. "Now we can check to see which exposure is the best."

After making sure that the box of photographic paper was securely closed, she switched on the overhead light and turned the red light off. "Looks like the middle one is the best," she said, holding the paper with tongs. "All right -- we've got the right exposure and contrast grade."

"Great!" Beej said. "I was really worried about that contrast grade thing."

Lydia looked at him, appreciating the sarcasm.

"What that means, Mr Smarty Pants, is that now we can print the photo."

Beej's eyes lit up. "Well, what're we waitin' for? Let's do it!"

*****

Beej looked appreciatively at the photos that were hanging up to dry. They weren't perfect -- some were out of focus, others were off-kilter, and more than a couple were washed out -- but they were his photos, that he'd taken.

He was thankful that his very first photo -- that of Lydia in the flapper pose -- had turned out the best. She was his BFFFF, after all.

"I think you did a pretty good job," Lydia said, "considering this was your first time."

"I like taking pictures," he told her. "But developing 'em is ... too much work."

She laughed gently. "Okay, well ... how about I do the developing? At least for now."

"You got yourself a deal!" Then he looked down at his feet. "Thank you for giving me your camera and teaching me how to use it."

In reply, Lydia kissed him on the cheek. "My pleasure, big bro," she said.

He grinned and bit his lip, his hair bright green.

[heart-aflame]

Combining two hyperfixations, and now I'm thinking about how badly an interaction between Beetlejuice and lucifer from the Netflix show would go.

Like, beej would not take orders from him, he'd probably make fun of him if he tried to. He isn't one of Lucifers demons, hell doesn't exist in his world, and he'd actually check to see if the netherworld existed in Lucifers world, and probably upset him drawing a door on his wall. hes just so annoyed the christians were right in at least one universe.

he also has way more powers than a demon under lucifer does, and absolutely would shapeshift wings if he brought his own out just to spite him. He'd also think it was kinda boring the only powers Maze had was being really good at fighting, and then would go intangible to avoid her attacking him. He doesn't know how to be any clearer about the whole ghosts and demon ghosts thing.

The only way they wouldn't get into some sort of bad fight would be if Lydia was brought there with him, and Trixie was around when the two of them were pulled into her universe, because maybe she asked and wanted to see if either of them could summon him.

Lydia would immediately accept that he's the devil as well, because she's seen a lot of strange stuff, so why not also this. She would also think Maze is cool, but also would probably say she prefers the netherworld to any sort of religious afterlife, because torture forever is terrifying as a concept much less as reality.

They get back home on accident, because lydia really wants to leave and avoid any weird religious stuff that might happen, or a potentially bad fight where her demon gets actually dragged to hell when he isnt supposed to be there, and Lydia just chants home thrice while grabbing Beetlejuice and they end up home.

Lucifer is left wildly confused about what is possibly going on in that other universe, to make it so different and not have him in it, but he isnt that bothered to figure it out.

[possum-quesadilla]

Chapter three of Time’s Arrow is out, “A mask of my own face, I’d wear that”! Please read the warnings carefully. You’re welcome Beetlelands fans! Also sorry Beetlelands fans. As always, here are the extras!

Chapter Three:

- The lyrics for this chapter’s title is from “A Mask of My Own Face” by Lemon Demon! I feel like this one is perhaps the most self-explanatory of the chapter titles, haha.

- The songs for this chapter are “Darren” by Jack Stauber, “Ghosting” by Mother Mother, “A Mask of My Own Face” by Lemon Demon, “Parrot” by Stepdad, “Snail” by Cavetown, and ESPECIALLY “Stray Italian Greyhound” by Vienna Teng.

- The basement is partially cleared out to prepare for Lydia’s dark room in the basement! And also a special Other Thing.

- “… new rugs to replace the ones he bled all over.” - Yes, Beetlejuice managed to ruin two rugs with his blood. That sucks.

- “His right eye’s vision was still fuzzy. (Perhaps it wouldn’t ever fully come back, like his hearing.)” - Yes, unfortunately it is permanent. He’s hard of hearing on one side, visually impaired on the other. Poor buddy.

- “Thankfully, his teeth had grown back quickly. They were always one of the first parts of him to regenerate anyways. (Much quicker than his organs, that one night. Or his legs. The memory still made him shudder.)” - Yikes, I wonder what or who this is referring to!

- “.. friendly neighborhood reformed demon.” - Yeah, a silly little Spider-Man reference for brevity.

- “(He found he still had no idea how to tie a tie. Thank God/Satan whoever had washed his suit had left it tied.)” - This is sort of a callout on myself. My friend tied my Beetlejuice suit’s tie for me once, and I’ve just left it tied since I can’t tie a tie for the life of me.

- Black onyx - apparently, black onyx represents strength, and is one of the most powerful crystals! At least, according to my friend.

- Lydia dying her hair - Lyds is a natural blonde! She dyes her hair black for Reasons.

- “Can’t keep a good… not-guy down!” - This is both a reference to “Child’s Play” and another fun non-binary joke.

- Adam’s tapping - I and a handful of other neurodivergent people I know do this, gentle tapping to signal we want affection. I have been told it is endearing.

- “I’M SO NORMAL-” - This is something I like to proclaim when I am being Not Normal. Like how Beetlejuice is being Not Normal.

- “He couldn’t tell what either of them were thinking, their expressions were new. It was certainly frustrating.” - Hm! I wonder what expressions Beetlejuice has never seen before on another being.

- The Freeze, Brimstone Flu, Red Moss - these are all demon diseases/illnesses that I made up. They will probably only make minor, silly appearances.

- “(Beetlejuice had to seriously fight the urge to bite her arm.)” - Beej has the urge to out of affection, but holds back due to his sharp teeth and it generally not being socially acceptable.

- “Dial up that smile.” - This is a reference to my other current hyperfixation, “Late Night with the Devil”.

- “Beetlejuice exited the guest bedroom to find Lydia waiting for him just outside, repeatedly kissing Pluto’s forehead as the cat laid contentedly in her arms. She let out a little ‘GAH’ as the door opened, standing up straight.” - CAUGHT BEING SOFT IN 4K

- Lydia, sorting - one of her favorite activities is sorting, as you may have noticed. Sometimes she un-sorts her belongings so she can re-sort them when she is stressed out.

- Lydia, biting - she also bites out of affection/when she is excited. She does not care if it is socially acceptable when she is around Beetlejuice.

- “The teen eagerly motioned for Barbara to come closer, holding up an old, yellowed version of The Wheel of Fortune.” - I wonder if this particular card means anything?

- “Some of them are hand-painted!” - Thank you to the movie “Tarot” for informing me of hand-painted Tarot cards. Also fuck you, because they’re expensive.

- “Some of the decks are incomplete.” .. “That’s what happens when you got a lotta things for a lotta years. Some of it just… goes missin’.”- What a suspicious answer from Beetlejuice. I wonder what he did with those cards?

- “I know you didn’t mean it, but that was rude, Beetlejuice.” … “Wh-rude? It was?” - this is an experience I and a lot of other fellow autistics experience. We have to be informed when we’ve been rude because we truly did not mean to be!

- “… they sat next to each other in silence while they separately sorted through various piles of moss and rocks they’d collected on previous outings in the woods.” - one of the ways these two often hang out is parallel play. I love you parallel play…

- “Lydia forced Beetlejuice to do some strange dance in front of her phone with her. They only understood half of the words she said while explaining it, but it certainly made her happy.” - Yes, Lydia made Beetlejuice do a tiktok dance because it is funny. I don’t know any of them so I can’t give you a specific, so you can imagine the funniest one here.

- “Already, his mouth was watering at the smells of soy sauce and chives wafting out from the kitchen.” - mouth watering is not always a good thing. Sometimes it means a vom is imminent.

- The Great Gatsby - beetlejuice is not stupid (sometimes), he just takes longer to process some things! This is honestly the first time someone has recognized this within him, and he has yet to fully process that. Also I love The Great Gatsby. There are Jay and BJ parallels that only make sense to me.

- Freaky - I LOVE THIS MOVIE. I watched it with my father and it was quite amusing, so I thought it would be funny to have Lydia experience watching this film with a few of her parents.

- Adam and Barbara conspired to have Beetlejuice have his Talk with Charles, by the way. They also, obviously, conspired to cuddle up with him.

- “I’ll be right back,” … “Beetlejuice, that’s violating rule number three!” - Yeah, this is a “Scream” reference. No I am not sorry. Yes it will happen again maybe.

- “Oh no. … Oh no, not now. … Please, not now. … But, of course, some sort of ridiculous “Feeling” had to come along.” - These are pulled from one of the pivotal songs on Time’s Arrow’s playlist, “Stray Italian Greyhound” by Vienna Teng. Please listen to it during That Part of the chapter.

- “Was it love? Were they in love? They couldn’t be. They were a demon, they were unforgivable, they were rotten and broken-” - Part of this is a reference to “Good Omens”, part of this is another callback to his mother’s hurtful words from chapter 3 of Time is a Flat Circle. They really seem to stick with him, huh?

- “The ritual was much harder than Beetlejuice remembered. Perhaps it was their drained energy, but they didn’t remember it burning so much.” - That’s so weird. I wonder what this ritual entailed? Couldn’t have been good. But he got a Book out of it!

- “ “Your humans?” This seemed to pique his interest, as his silhouetted form suddenly drew in much closer. “Have you a coven now, little lamb?” ” - I wonder why Cyrus was so interested in BJ having a coven? Also say hi to my rotten bastard everyone! You will hate him.

- “little lamb” - Cyrus calls BJ this due to his sheep features! Also to demean him. (If you couldn't tell from his other nickname being “pet”.)

- “Tomorrow is another day.” - shameless FNAF 4 reference. FNAF made me who I am. It reprogrammed my brain as a child.

[4th-make-quail]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

oooh this is so fun, thank you bb!! 💚💚 i'm gonna go from oldest to newest, and i forced myself to NOT put more than one Sart/Basch fic ahahah

5. Two Dead Men | FFXV Kingsglaive - Nyx/Drautos I think this was one of the first longer, chaptered fics I ever finished and I'm still really proud of it! It's a post-film fix it fic where Drautos and Nyx don't die. Drautos has a lot of recovery from post-fight injuries and a hell of a lot to be forgiven! This is also the reason I can't listen to Calling for Rain without getting SUPER EMOTIONAL lmao.

4. Legacy | Devil May Cry 5 - Nero/Credo Yes, it's another chaptered post-game fix it fic... I may have a brand!! Anyway, dmc5 came out and even tho Credo died in dmc4, the tiny mention of him we got in dmc5 COMBINED WITH Nero's special dlc Order of the Sword outfit got me all kinds of fucked up, and lo! Credo returning from the Underworld fic! :3c I mean hey, he's a demon, why shouldn't he have gone there when he died huh?! Featuring devil trigger sex with Credo's beautiful big fluffy demon bird form, and Credo recovering slowly from the trauma and injuries in usual Quail Fashion

3. From the Flames of the Fire, I Feel You | Final Fantasy XIV - Sartauvoir/Basch While this is part 4 of my Sart/Basch series, it's one of the points where it started to get more plotty and less like a series of connected porn one-shots. Basch found out he's dying and confesses it to Sart, Sart tells Basch about his past and how his eye got fucked up, as well as showing him what's beneath the fabric eyepatch thing he wears. It was really emotional to write, and since it was the period where I was writing every lunch time at work, I can tell you that I made myself cry and then had to go back to work LOL. Also it was fun getting to write Sart in action too!

2. the structure of love | Final Fantasy XII - Cid/Vayne Yeah yeah, I'm putting this one again, sue me lmao. This was the first time I wrote Cid/Vayne and I still am so proud of this fic! I wanted to really go all in on the wistful feeling of UST and try to really work on the subtlety of their relationship and machinations, and I think it came out really nicely! It's a 5 times plus 1 sort of fic, with the final part taking place post-game after Cid and Vayne's plans all came to fruition. Ghost sex :3c

1. Skin on Skin Thing, Baby | Interview with the Vampire RPF - Assad/Eric I think this has to be my fave out of all my zamasian fics! I had SO much fun writing the texting as well as the smoking beej, and I feel like their characterisation came out very well! As usual there isn't really any plot to speak of, but the porn came out smoking (heh) hot if I do say so myself >:3c

[afterthefuneral]

To the devil a daughter. I've been doodling tonight and drew my OC Belladona, the young daughter of Beetlejuice and Lydia. I can see Beetlejuice being a very fun dad, taking his daughter to the park, playing with her, and teaching her how to use her ghost powers. He probably doesn't discipline much because he sees her antics as cute, and she matches his temperament and has his looks. Lydia often exclaims "I must have no genes at all. She's all you Beej."

If you are curious, you can read my fic down below. Although it mostly deals with the relationship between Beetlejuice and Lydia, and conception of Belladonna. I am thinking about continuing the story to when Belladonna is a young adult, but just don't have the time.

Dearly Departed - Chapter 1 - AfterTheFuneral - Beetlejuice (Cartoon 1989) [Archive of Our Own]

[youngpettyqueen]

Ah, shit—I just read the thing and realized they’re supposed to be roulette prompts. Sorry about that.

🎲 Hunnihawk?

—No GFA Anon

doing this as my cooldown for tonight, you rolled... 38! a kiss while one party is carried. well if that doesnt just appeal to all my writing interests hehe

BJ nudges his way into the Swamp without much issue, finding a delicate balance of propping the door open with his foot while he twists himself in through the too-small doorframe. All the while he has to be careful to to jostle a sound-asleep Hawkeye, who he has gathered up carefully in his arms, nestled securely against his chest. He's done this song and dance enough times to know how to get in without disturbing him, though, so he manages to enter their tent without any incident.

He picks his way carefully around to Hawkeye's cot, mindful of where he puts his feet. Hawkeye's a light sleeper, he wakes up to almost any little noise, always ready to spring right into action if he needs to. He doesn't want to wake him by slipping on discarded laundry, or stepping on something that'll make any noise.

Then again, he's sleeping pretty heavily right now. He was exhausted enough to pass out in a post-OP bed, and he hadn't really woken up when BJ tried to rouse him. Hence why BJ's carrying him to bed, like the goddamn princess he is.

It's this thought that gives BJ pause for a moment. He shoots a look at Charles' cot, still and dark, their other tentmate not so much as stirring. Then he looks back at Hawkeye, and allows himself the liberty of ducking to press a kiss to the crown of his head. A private little thing to make him smile, before he sets about getting Hawkeye into bed.

Down he goes, out of BJ's arms and into his cot. Then BJ gets his boots off of him, working with practiced ease and delicacy, followed by taking up his blanket and pulling it over him. Quick, easy, routine. He smooths the blanket over Hawkeye with a fond smile, enjoying the sight of him so peaceful.

"Night, Hawk." He bids quietly, barely whispering.

"Night, Beej." Comes Hawkeye's whispered reply.

BJ pauses. Registers that. Hawkeye's voice isn't sleepy- he knows Hawkeye's voice, he knows his tones and moods, and that was not a groggy, just-woke-up tone. And suddenly, Hawkeye apparently not waking up when he tried to get him up earlier makes a whole lot more sense.

The bastard's been awake this entire time.

BJ plants his hand on Hawkeye's shoulder and gives him a shove. "You fucking devil." He hisses, while Hawkeye just snickers and tries ineffectively to roll away from him.

[phlistopher]

Ranking the Filthy 15

Back in the 80s, Tipper Gore and other cultural conservatives went on a crusade against sex and violence in popular music. They put together a list of fifteen representative songs to use as a political football, known as the filthy 15.

Apropos of nothing, I’ll rank each song. Each will score between 1 and 4 filths, gaining one point for each of the following objective scientific criteria.

😳 Flushed: Would I be embarrassed if my grandmother heard me listening to this song?

🧠 Memorable: Does this filth get stuck in my head?

🪶 Poetic: Does it paint a vivid picture?

🍑 Fuckable: Would I have sex while listening to it?

Note: because of the content, you’ll have to click through to YouTube to listen to the songs.

“Darling Nikki” by Prince

Why Tipper hated it: Sex/masturbation

The song that set off the anti-music craze, it’s an undeniable classic off Purple Rain, an album with an embarrassment of classics. A strong contender for the best song on this list. It’s pretty dirty, too.

Speaking of embarrassment, how would I feel if my grandma heard me listening to this? The words “sex” and “masturbating” really pop out of the mix, and I think we’d both throw ourselves out the window at that point. For reference, all grandma analysis applies to both sides of the family. This is important to no one.

This absolutely gets stuck in my head, it paints a very frank, vivid picture, and this thing is so sexy, I’d bang a sand dune to this shit.

😳 🧠 🪶 🍑

“Sugar Walls” by Sheena Easton

Why Tipper hated it: Sex

Barely a metaphor, I hadn’t really listened to Sheena’s personal vagina explainer. Pretty standard 80s pop, while it’s frankly insulting to metaphors to call the lyrics one, it’s just enough for my grandmother to not understand. The “blood races to your private spots” line is risky, but her hearing isn’t great. The lyrics are high level and vague, just thin innuendos, so no picture. But sure, it wouldn’t kill the mood.

🧠 🍑

“Eat Me Alive” by Judas Priest

Why Tipper hated it: Sex/violence

Not my favorite Priest song, off maybe my least favorite Priest album, this song is fine. Nothing concrete in the lyrics here, just vague innuendo. Tipper said this song advocated for oral sex at gun point, which is pretty intense, but in context the lyrics feel more “metal metaphors for a beej” instead of anything more sinister. Or interesting.

I’d be embarrassed if my grandmother heard me listening to it, not because of the lyrics, but because of the genre. She’d be so disappointed.

“Out of all the Judas Priest albums, you’re listening to Defenders of the Faith?” She’d say, pulling my ear.

😳

“Strap On ‘Robbie Baby’” by Vanity

Why Tipper hated it: Sex

Pretty sure this was the first time I’ve heard this song when researching this piece. Pretty nasty riff, the guitars and synth combined sound like an 808 fucked a car. I might have to get into Vanity. Anyway, I couldn’t understand the lyrics at all, so there’s no chance my grandma could. As killer as the music is, I’ve already forgotten it now that YouTube is auto playing another Vanity tune called “Sex Shooter”. I do remember that I would absolute fuck to it, though.

Bonus points for the whip sound effect.

🍑 💥

“Bastard” by Mötley Crüe

Why Tipper hated it: Violence/language

The quintessential of-its-time hair metal band, they do have some catchy songs. While this might be the first time I’m hearing it, I think this is one of them. I couldn’t really understand the mumble-ass lyrics, but man would my grandma be upset if she heard me listening to this.

“Chris, you’re listening to Mötley Crüe? What year is it? Madone.”

“Let Me Put My Love Into You” by AC/DC

Why Tipper hated it: Sex

This song was five years old by the time Tipper said it was rotting kid’s brains, so I guess it was pretty potent to still be doing the devil’s work out in the streets.

Off AC/DC’s commercial peak Back in Black, that album was the start of the clumsy-if-not-appalling Brian Johnson sex innuendo era, instead of the clever-if-not-appalling Bon Scott sex innuendo era. Despite all that, it’s a great song, it gets stuck in my head unprovoked, my grandma wouldn’t know what was happening but wouldn’t like it, so I wouldn’t like it, and honestly this has too much of a virgin dorm vibe for me to have sex to.

😳 🧠

“We’re Not Gonna Take It” by Twisted Sister

Why Tipper hated it: Violence

I don’t know why this song ended up on this list. Violence? The closest the lyrics get is Dee Snyder saying he’ll fight the powers that be. Sure, the whole song is anti-authority, and he says the word “fight” a few times. I don’t know, saying this is violent is a real stretch. Catchy tune though. My grandma would ignore this. We’re not gonna take it anymore is hardly a sex sentiment. We all prefer I Wanna Rock.

🧠

“Dress You Up” by Madonna

Why Tipper hated it: Sex

Pretty tame silk sheet boudoir lyrics. The most explicit they get is during the chorus, when Madonna lets you know that she’ll dress you up in her love, all over your body. So, sex. Pretty fun song, but nothing special, especially given Madonna’s catalog. The lyrics paint the vaguest picture, to the point where I feel like I’m in a blank room more than anything. My grandmother would find this unobjectionable. I guess I’d fuck to this in a pinch, and I use that term advisedly.

🍑🥱

“Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)” by W.A.S.P.

Why Tipper hated it: Sex/language/violence

Whoa, kick it up, it’s W.A.S.P.! Straight out of the gate, Blackie Lawless is bragging about his nudie pictures next to his bed, then starts talking about smells. Holy shit, that’s a picture! I never listened to W.A.S.P. before this, and while the lyrics descend into standard hair metal sex talk, verging into pretty gross misogyny, Blackie’s voice has a real compelling power amidst the slick buzz-saw guitars on this tune. I would rather die than let my grandma catch me listening to it. This song also has the power to evaporate genitals.

😳 🧠 🪶

“High ’n’ Dry (Saturday Night)” by Def Leppard

Why Tipper hated it: Drug and alcohol use

Another one I don’t think I’ve ever heard before researching this piece. Pretty forgettable stadium rock. I don’t understand why this song in particular gets on the filthy list for alcohol use; there’s so many popular booze tunes, and this one isn’t any more explicit on the topic than any other. Also, why the hell is everyone wearing Def Leppard shirts now? Fucking Def Leppard? My grandmother would fall asleep to this song. I don’t have sex at frat parties, so this song is out on that count as well.

🚫

“Into the Coven” by Mercyful Fate

Why Tipper hated it: Occult

Finally, mixing up the theme! Forget sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll, “Into the Coven” gets on the naughty list for the occult! This is definitely the first time I heard this song. Starting off with a medieval mandolin-ish intro, then going into bog standard head bang riff with a Rob Halford-ish high note vocal, it’s totally ish. I couldn’t understand the vocal, so I had to look up the lyrics to get that sweet, sweet devil text.

Howl like a wolf And a witch will open the door Follow me And meet our high priestess Come, come into my coven And become Lucifer’s child

Yep, that’s occult, and it’s painting a pretty vivid picture. Fun stuff! It repels sex. I thought my grandmother would be offended, but when I performed the ritual to contact her from beyond the grave, she was fine with it.

🪶

“Trashed” by Black Sabbath

Why Tipper hated it: Drug and alcohol use

Certainly not the first Sabbath song anyone thinks of—or the thirty-first, really—it’s more of a cautionary drunk driving tale from the one-off Ian Gillan era than anything scandalous. The story is specific and clear, and the riff is solid if unmemorable. I don’t think any of Black Sabbath’s music get within the same post code as an aphrodisiac. My grandma would appreciate how the nice boys are educating people about the dangers of alcohol.

🪶

“In My House” by Mary Jane Girls

Why Tipper hated it: Sex

What a fun bop. Great hook. Lyrics are pretty tame, and vague, even by 1980s standards! But yeah, they’re about sex. It does make me dance, so maybe that adds extra scandal to it. It’s so catchy, and in an uncomfortable couplet, I would both have sex to this song and dance with my grandmother to it.

🧠 🍑

“Possessed” by Venom

Why Tipper hated it: Occult

One more occult tune! It starts with the lyric, “Look at me, Satan’s child” amidst foreboding guitars, so already more thematically occult feeling than Into The Coven. Darker, more alienated, and far less commercial than anything else on this list. This feels actually worthy of a moral panic, which makes it feel a lot more fun than it actually is. Pretty neat double bass drum breakdown section, though. This one is way too antisocial for sex. It’s so antisocial, that it would be a humiliating social experience for my grandma to catch me listening to it.

“She Bop” by Cyndi Lauper

Why Tipper hated it: Sex/masturbation

Ah, the perennial classic. Great song, so catchy, with specific lyrics that really do paint a picture despite their heavy euphemisms. Of course I’d have sex to this tune, and, thank God, my grandmother would absolutely not understand the lyrics.

🧠 🪶 🍑

Final thoughts

To no one’s surprise, the best song on this list, according to science, is Prince’s Darling Nikki, with She Bop a close second. The worst is whatever that Def Leppard song was.

Thanks Tipper!

[nijjhar]

Punjabi - Honour our Ch. Chhotu Ram Ohlyan Jatt and vote a Jatt only. La... Punjabi - Honour our Ch. Chhotu Ram Ohlyan Jatt and vote a Jatt only. Lalas greeted our Pillar with black armbands. https://youtu.be/Ym_A1KOqfxY SHAME ON OUR EDUCATED JATTS, THEY CAN’T UNITE US. IN 1947, OUR JATTS WERE NOT EDUCATED. LATTON KAE BHOOTT BATTON SAE NAHI MANTTAE. PAGRRI SANBHAAL JATTA https://youtu.be/gSwPvK3B4rg Much more on my website:- http://www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/UnitedJatts.htm Punjabi - Taliban - Al-Djmar Al-Aksa is best defeated by the tribal sons of Man and not by the guns. https://youtu.be/1dDW3SapKWE NAHI TO LALLON NAE AAP KAA DAMM BANDH KRNA HAE; KALI JHANDI LAGWA DO LALLON KAE. Youtube video in Punjabi:- https://youtu.be/QJLnbgoMMkM     http://www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/Chhotu.pdf PAEHLAE APNAE JISUM KAE BAAP, KACHA PEO – BEEJ – KO PAHCHANO – BRAHM KAE BAETTAE; PHIR AAP KO PAKKAE ROOH DAE PEO ELOHIM, ALLAH, PARBRAHM, ETC. KI KHABRAE HOSHH AUR SAMAJHH AAYE GEE. HAMAARI QOM, JAATI, KABEELA, ILAH, VAGAERA “SIRF JATT” HAE AUR MAZHAB AIK KAMEEZ KI TAREH/NEAYAN HAE. MAZHAB BADLA JAA SKTA HAE LAIKANN HAMARI JATT QOM NAHI BADLI JAA SAKTI. FOR THAT YOU NEED TO HAVE HEEYA OF YOUR TRIBAL FATHER “ILAH” = NISAFF EEMAN AND BE TRUTHFUL, CONTENTED (HAQ HALLAL) AND MERCIFUL = FULL EEMAN = MUSSALLMAN = GURMUKH SIKH. https://youtu.be/7VmQG3ew19E CHAUDHRY CHHOTU RAM OHLYAN JATT KO YAAD KRO AGGAR AAP NAE SIYASATT MAE KAMYAAB HONA HAE. Punjabi - Ch. Saddam Hussein Khokhar was a Jatt of the same Calibre as our Ch. Chhotu Ram Ohlyan Jat https://youtu.be/XAb1fhT3Mqk GET THESE JATT UNITY BANNERS MADE AND DISPLAY THEM AT THE BORDERS TO MELT AWAY THE BORDERLINE DIVIDING OUR JATTS. Let us support our New Chaudhry Chhotu Ram Ohliyan Pillar Chaudhry Satya Pal Malik Ji. Banners of our Jatt Unity:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/JattBanner.jpeg www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/JattIslam.htm www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/JattSikhism.htm Make 6 x 5 feet banners printed on both sides. Display them at the Border villages. Satanic greedy Khatris’ Youtube videos; channel Punjab Siyan:- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wr5EqtvA_lg&t=722s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fn3rWg_0X4w https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9w4DezupWngZzx_1wg5prQ Punjabi - No son of Brahma, a Hindu, no son of Parbrahm, a Sikh but Shankar Varniyia Super Bastard Fanatic Devil, a TERRORIST. https://youtu.be/PMMG99nMANk Bhagat Namdev Ji:- Hindu is spiritually blind, Munn Mukh Sikh, Turkoo, is very crafty whilst Gurmukh Sikh, Giani, is sealed to serve God wiser than both. https://youtu.be/GDqOcARj4Po Punjabi - Satguru Angad Dev Ji was the "Kiln" in which the Mitti Mussallman ki, sons of Man were baked. https://youtu.be/aMBUhvacOAw WHY TEN LIGHTS? Nanak wasn't a Moral Teacher, a Brahmin Guru but Satguru = Christ. https://youtu.be/HquVBRjtXF8 www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/tenlight.htm Punjabi - Nirmallae Sants learnt the Scriptures from Kanshi and then, they Preached the Gospel. They do not handle money. https://youtu.be/chiRrKtEqLg Why did you vote for parties other than your own tribal Party Jatt? DON’T KILL EACH OTHER IN THE INDO-PAK WARS. http://www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/Riots.htm JAATTRRA SAE KAATRRA; APNA HI GHAR GHALLAE SAE.list=PL0C8AFaJhsWwYKeFSCQNc6dOGm92fk4A4      A Video on Atomic War:- https://youtu.be/qDU964t_0i0 Playlist on Jattistan:- https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0C8AFaJhsWxsONN55F1ZZGdM-SMvjrmg https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0C8AFaJhsWz9zwqDMqorcpkSUgi8NJqX We need a singer to sing this song in honour of our Pillar Ch. Chhotu Ram Ohlyan Jatt www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/ikchor.pdf Navjot's Video:- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LZXvCL3rR8 By proclaiming Sikh Qom. https://youtu.be/O0iERZu_TyU Sikh is the Second Panth/religious community into which all are welcome whilst Jatt is our Qom and they are people born of the seed of Jatt tribal father. Rooftops. https://youtu.be/yTSYd_FujE4 Jatt is our Qom and not Hindu Jatt, Sikh Jatt, Muslim Jatt, etc.  http://www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/jattparty.htm http://www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/saintstn.htm Here are the basic definitions:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/short.htm Punjabi Book in DRChatrik Fonts:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/pbook.htm  www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/pdbook.pdf Muslim, etc. will perish. https://youtu.be/MlZuQcWoyj0 Punjabi - Damdami Taksaal = Madrissa to produce religious fanatics = Talibans such as Bhindranwalla. https://youtu.be/wUEX1syEL8U Punjabi - Bhindranwala was neither a Sikh that carried weapons in the Singh Ji never entered because Khalsas and Sikhs are not compatible. Bhai Kahniyia Ji. https://youtu.be/Iy3qXU6tI88 FOR THAT YOU NEED TO HAVE HEEYA OF YOUR TRIBAL FATHER “ILAH” = NISAFF EEMAN AND BE TRUTHFUL, CONTENTED (HAQ HALLAL) AND MERCIFUL = FULL EEMAN = MUSSALLMAN = GURMUKH SIKH. https://youtu.be/7VmQG3ew19E MATT. 13V24-30:- ATOMIC WAR EXPECTED SOON AFTER 14/11/2023 PAGRRI SANBHAAL JATTA https://youtu.be/gSwPvK3B4rg CHAUDHRY CHHOTU RAM OHLYAN JATT KO YAAD KRO AGGAR AAP NAE SIYASATT MAE KAMYAAB HONA HAE. Trinity:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/trinity.pdf

[rtfics]

jeezus fuckin crispy christ

A pedophile is attracted to preadolescences, from babies to children before puberty.

If anything, Beej would be an ephebophile, an adult sexually attracted to mid to late teen adolescents.

In the movie, Lydia, a fictional character thank you very much, is 16. In 1988 in Connecticut, where Lydia lived, the age of consent was 16. So she and Beej could've been lovers completely legally.

If you're gonna throw around the P Word,

It's amazing how these morons think sending anonymous Asks like that is going to stop someone from Shipping. It's like telling someone who's eating Devil's Food cake that chocolate is bad for them.

"Really?" *chew chew swallow* "Whaddaya know." *takes another bite*

Beetlejuice is a pedophile

Betelgeuse* is a Lydiaphile*

[rtfics]

MovieVerse Beetlejuice & V.A. Vandevere: A Comparison.

What They Have In Common:

* Incredibly powerful * Make devil’s bargains * Don’t give a fuck about other people’s feelings * Manipulative bastards * Throw tantrums when they don’t get what they want * Michael Keaton * Tim Burton

Differences:

* Beej: Filthy slob VAV:  Snazzy dresser

* Beej: Eats bugs VAV: Squashes people like bugs

* Beej: Complete lack of restraint VAV: Cool and controlled, until things don’t go his way

* Beej: Wears 25 fucking watches VAV: One cool Cartier

Beej: Priapic horndog VAV:  Has a gorgeous French mistress

[beebeyjuice]

Beezleboss (Beetlejuice*x Neutral!Reader x OC) NSFW-ish

I have to complete anessaya dn I’m over here awake, listening to Tenacious D so just take it okay? just take it and...cuddle with it. It needs to be cuddled with.

*I may add the rock!BJ AU and Devil!BJ tag because...it’s fucking Tenacious D what other excuse do I have???

Warnings: Mentions of R*pe, drugs, with a little dark humour* (read after the ellipses)

Update: It is 4 am...I started at 1 am. I liked this story very much :D. Enjoy.

Published: 4/11/20

https://soundcloud.com/butcher-ben-592/tenacious-d-beezleboss

~~~

I was sitting on the couch, strumming the guitar semi-consciously while waiting for my roommate to put the pot in the bong. The notes rolled off like a god was savoring the delicious riffs that kept on cooking. We alternated the use of the pick that we have found, and with its existence our lives gotten better. We gotten fame, money, a taste of both pussy and dick, because why the fuck not?

We even got a new friend, our agent, who’s nickname was Beezleboss. Sure it was a weird name, but there’s even weirder ones that are accepted by the crowd. Maybe he wanted to join the band?

(Y/N) came into the living room with the bag in their hand and sit next to me, and I placed the guitar in the stand. The pick I placed on the necklace frame. We both have our own necklace that holds the pick so it wouldn’t be as easy to lose it. It had its own eight, and its own disadvantages-

For one...we sometimes get paranoid and we forget the other one has it. Sometimes I’m up at 3 AM on the roof in my underwear and braless desperately looking for it, but then realization hits like a motherfucker when I realize that 1) (Y/N) has and 2) I am never on the roof for whatever reason, nice view though. It is always a nice view, it would be fun to fuck someone...maybe Beezlebub? Bezebos? Beteljuice? Juice...

“Hey (Y/N) hand me the orange juice will ya?” I asked and made a grabby motion and thanking them for the carton.

Our phones vibrated and (Y/N) leant over on her right side to scan the screen while holding the bong in her hand, “Oh hey it’s Beezleboss, wants to meet us in the front yard.”

Confused, I asked, “Why didn’t he just come in like he always does?”

You shrugged your shoulders and set down the bong gently, bitch, you’re never gently with my stuff.

~~

I dressed up, well...put on a bra because I didn’t want to deal with the sweat stains when I’m inside the house and followed you outside to meet our manager. Sometimes (Y/N) and I speak freely in our home how much we really want to fuck him...oh my goood was he just delicious-looking. He can join our little band anytime if it means we just hop on and-

“Hey boss, how’s it going?” you greeted with a smile and pulled him in a hug.

He smiled, his canines (fuuuck me he can mark me anytime) showed as he returned the hug, “Pretty good, I was just strolling by see how you guys are.” When he released the hug, he pulled back to adjust the striped jacket. He had such an unusual sense of fashion, but he was so fucking adorable. Sometimes I don’t know whether to pinch his cheeks or to whip his sweet thicc butt *I felt my head tilt a little to scan the curves* or to just...take me.

I know (Y/N) is thinking those dirty ass thoughts, they do this little thing by crossing their arms across their chest and and using the fingernail of their pinky to scratch their arm lightly to ground them to reality and not slip into their sexual fantasies. I’m pretty sure they want to see him in a leather outfit, and god do I as well. I’m more of an emotionless, “zoning out” kind of person. I scanned his body and when I watched those gorgeous hazel eyes, only for them to have a direct contact do I smile and go over to hug them. I had no fucking clue what they were talking about but they didn’t say my name. I held him in a side-hug, resting my hand on my hip as I now enter the conversation, “Boss, you looking sexy as ever.” I reported, serious and saluting him  as that was the most important part of the discussion. We both saw the sudden blush and timidness that appeared and I leaned back slightly, made direct eye contact with you and went from an emotionless expression to a wide grin and a thumbs up liek it was indeed the mst blessful day ever. I got away with these comments because it was common, (Y/N), however, that (gurl/boi/madamonsieure)....that’s 50 shades of F.U.C.K.E.D.U.P., my comments were NOTHING compared to what this sex demon had to offer

~Flashback~

Me: Yo, (Y/N), the city of fallen angels has nothing compare to the operas you perform when you commit to the sexto-y-nueve.

You: *chuckles and you lil shit would grab my chin and lightly graze it*  I will fuck you day and night, from pleasure to pain, whether you want to or not *leans closer* and you will start calling me the Lideric because I will not stop until you say my name like a prayer and your bones will be crumpling, you will be so dehydrated that you will need to go to the hospital constantly to get IV bags injected into your bloodstream that when you waste their resources, you depend on my own cum to keep you alive. *smirks*

Me: ... *mouth gaped*...

You: *taps on my chin and leaves me hanging as you do your research*

Me: Holy shit, mark me down as scared and horny.

~~

You smiled so sweetly as you tried to brush me off, “Ignore her, she’s had too much to drink.”

I lazily pointed at you, objecting your claim, “That is not true...I may have had about two cups of Orange Juice, who knows.” I shrug my shoulders lightly. This made beezleboss chuckle and had a fit of giggles before taking a deep breath to calm down, “Alright, alright, guys I’ve been meaning to tell you about this..situation that I’m in and-” now I slowly unglueed myself from the manager made slow, long steps to stand next to you, “...que paso, compadre?”

He was confused, trying to understand why I got so defensive and ready to beat his cute butt off the driveway.

“I hope it isn’t to tell us you won’t be our manager.” You stated bluntly, always more mature than me. Now I was able to see the rings that decorated his fingers, the black fingernails, the green hair that was slicked back, his skin slightly palish as always.

When he laughed, he shooked his heads, “No noo, that is not it nah- uh it has to do with production.”

I tilt my head to the side, “But we just finished producing songs yesterday.” I say in a high-pitch voice to make aware of my confusion.

He nods, “Yes, you have.” He grins, now there was one canine tooth that was visible and I was confused. I wasn’t going to address the lost tooth, but you sighed softly, “Right, I think I know what you mean. Mija, let’s grab our guitars and go to the studio and make a few more songs.” When you walked passed me, you added: “Besides, we have a few songs under our sleeves.” and you glanced down on the silver necklace.

I smile and nodded in affirmation then looked at our boss, “We’ll be right back!” and I ran, following you. When I walked up the stairs to the door, I reached up to the necklace and looked down to see the empty frame. I smiled, then I suddenly panicked. My eyes widen, and my body tensed up. I rushed to you, nearly pinning you against the wall. You were taken off guard, raising the guitars above our heads, “Mija! Watch it, you almost made drop the guitars-”

“Listen to me, and I mean....fucking. listen to me.” My voice was shaking, my hands were trembling and I was on brink in crying, “I...lost the pick.” and I sucked in my lips. Your eyes widen, lowering your arms, “Whatthefuckdoyoumeanyoulostthefuckingpick.” You said faster than you ever said anything in your life.

“I mean...I lost the pick. It was in the frame, and now it’s gone. We have to distract him, we have to distract boss and I have to look for the pick.”

~~~

Meanwhile, Beezleboss, who waited patiently, smirked slowly as he raised his hand to reveal the glowing green pick. The pick transformed into a canine tooth that was possible for him to shape shift into his true form: His eye color changed from the hazel to the golden orbs, his mouth opened slightly to reveal the two pairs of canines into two rows of sharp teeth. He stuck out his tongue for it to be fork-pitched and slithering to get the sensation used to.His suit got dirtier in means that it was aging, horns grew from the temples, making an upward curve. His finger nails grew into claws and he was more pale, like beige white paper. A tail was revealed from under the coat and flicked a few times, it stretched as well, curling a few times before making it rest on the concrete floor.

He lolled his head, making a growling sound emit from his throat as he was relieved to be in his true form, ready to take your souls to the netherworld and make you two suffer from the pain he had to endure with the stupid breathers.

~~~

I paced back and forth, repeating fragments and ideas before you take my shoulder, “We’re gonna find the pick, and we are going to make music after, okay?” You gave me my guitar and I put on the strap, “Y-yeah, yeah, we’re gonna find it.” I repeated, doing the habit of rubbing my fingertips and we headed out the door. However, when we walked outside, we screamed in horror as we jumped in our arms.

“IT’S SHOOOOWTIME!!~” The entity sanged in his gravelly voice, even biting his lip as he heard the screams, blinking only to smirk towards us, his golden eyes filled with rage and mischief.

We separated from each other to fully observe the demon, monster whatever it was that was in front of us, speechless in the moment.

He spread his arms apart as he says in a guttural tone: “I am complete!!”

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck” (Y/N) and I synced, really progressing what was going on.

“Yes you are Fucked! Shit out of Luck! Now I’m complete and my Cock you will suck!” and he proceeded to open the jacket slightly to thrust his hips forwards to mimic the fucking motion, “This world will be mine, and you’re first in line, You brought me the pick and now you shall both die!”

I was frozen in place, my eyes could not tear off. I must be high, I must be.

But I hear (Y/N)...sing? After all, he did sounded like he was singing too in the way that he spoke.

“Waaaaaiit! Waaaaiiit Waaait you motherfucker!” and I finally looked over at (Y/N) who stepped forward and pointed at him, “We challenge youu to a rock off!”

They brought the guitar in hand, ready to play, only before he pointed at the demon with their basic pick, “Give us one chance to rock your socks off!...”

I swore I saw a little hip jiggle when you sang that part softly.

I know looked at the demon who looked ready to kill us, but was distressed.

“Fuck!” He turned around, his back facing us. Well, at least his ass looked better. “Fuck! Fuuuuuuck.” He growled, turning back around after clenching his hands and even running his hands through his hair, “The demon code prevents me,” and when he turned around, a scroll appeared in his hands. He looked annoyed, if not irritated at the challenge that my roommate came up with, “From declining a rock off challenge. WHat. are your terms, what’s the ca-a-atch~.”

Now it was our time, (Y/N) looked back at me and I was trying to tell you something but nothing came out. I was too scared,

“Four things, two from me and two from her!” You shouted, looking back at him, “...If we win, you must take your sorry aaasssss back to heeeelll. And also you will have to pay our reeent.”

I actually thought that was a good idea, and I nodded slowly in agreement but also respect for thinking outside of the box.

“And what if I win?..” His hand raised to graze his beard and the growls came back, and there was a chill in both our backs.

“...” Now I’m stuck.

“...Then you can take her back to hell...” (Y/N) suggested, shrugging her shoulders in an inquisitive way, to see if it would work. I nodded mindlessly before those words clicked. I quickly snapped my head to you, worried as fuck, “...What?!”

I stepped forward to you.

They looked straight ahead before glancing at me, “Trust me mija, it’s the only whey.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked in a panicked tone, only to be grabbed by them. Their arm wrapped around me , the other on my abdominal area as we both looked straight.

“To be your little..” and then I feel someone groping my chest, “bitch.” they finished and I snapped at them.

Partially satisfied, with an eye roll, he announced: “Fine! Let the Rock off Begin!” and he released a maniacal laughter that would have wet my underwear for multiple reasons besides being scared.

And when he raised his hands, the scene changed. We were caught in the middle of an arena of speakers, a drum set appearing, a microphone sitting in the middle. A guitar and a bass on their stands. We watched three clones appear, each taking their places. The real raised his hand and lowered it as he stood behind the microphone. The drummer was perfect in every way playing the drummer, never missing a beat (no times for puns).

“I’m the devil- I love metal!” They all sang in unison, more guttural than with one, only from the real one to stuck out his tongue and wiggle it at us. We jumped at every chance, fidgety and also speechless at the performance.

The guitarist stepped forward, planting his right foot forward only to succesfully catch out attention when said, “Check this riff is fucking Tasty!!” and proceeded to shred out souls he performed.

Lastly, the real boss, he took the microphone, the tail wrapped around the stand as he sang his verse:

“I’m the devil I can do what I want

Whatever I’ve got I’m gonna flaunt!

There’s never been a rock off that I’ve ever lost!”

I glanced at you in a concerned look, already certain that I’m fucked.

When I look back, however, he revealed a wall of sex toys which made me jump.

“I can’t wait to take her back to hell

I’m gonna fill her with my hot demon gel” and he squirted lube on us, making us jump but me cower behind you.

“I’ll make her squeal like my scarlet pimpernel!” and he mimicked once again the fucking motion. .For a moment, (Y/N) stepped forward and shouted, “NOoooo!” It Boss by surprise, the illusion getting rid of. Head turned over their shoulder, they tried to make me jump in, “Come on Mija, bring the thunder!”

I was hopeless, I was already see the future of being a sexdoll, “There’s just no way that we can win, that was a master piece...”

Now they turned around and grabbed my shoulders, “Listen to me.”

“He rocks to hard because he’s not a mortal man!” I raised my hand at him who was currently smoking a cig.

“God damn it! He’s gonna make you his sex slave, gonna gargle mayonnaise-”

“Nooo” I sobbed.

“Unless we bust a massive monster mama-jam!”

I nodded, understanding you, “We’ve been through so much shit...“

“Deactivated lasers with my dick!” He shouted excitedly, and for a mere second attempted to remember a single memory where they did that.

“Now it’s time to bow this fucker dooown!!” we synced and faced the boss.

I brought out the guitar and began to strum only for you to continue “Come now, it’s time to blow doors down!”

I nodded excitedly, bouncing on my toes, “I hear you man it’s time to blow doors down!”

You posed and danced as you sang, “Light up the stage ‘cause its time for a showdown!”

Now I was confident to step forward with the thanks of my friend, “We’ll bend you over then we’ll take you to Brown Town.”

and we both sang, “Now we’ve got to blow this fucker doown!”

I quickly stated the fact if this does not work: “He’s gonna rape me if we don’t blow doors down!”

“Come on, we must drive it down now”

“Yeah Baby!!”

You confidently pointed at him as you smirked, “Hey anti-christ-er, Beezlboss, we know you’re weekness- OUR ROCKET SAUCE!”

ANd the something came over me that suddenly I stopped playing, only to actually be stuck ina thinking process.

The halt confused you and the boss, “What the fuck was that!” you shouted.

I scanned the boss almost ina  critizing way, “I just realized something...”

“HUH?!” you both responded.

“I never got to say what I wanted.” I stated plainly.

You wacked the back of my head and I nearly tripped.

“You were nearly raped and you’ve got the nerve to say that!”

“Wait cabron listen to me!” you shouted back and the you looked at the boss, “Yo, you gnna destroy the world?”

Speechless, Beezlboss remained there, “Uhhh...no?”

I nodded and process that, “Then how about we forget all this and come inside, become our new roommate and date?”

That question alone made them look around for any secrets cameras of some sort.

“What the fuck is happening..”

“Exactly, you know, when you were human and all, (Y/N) wanted you to fuck us and fuck you. You see them scratch their arm right?”

“yeah...”

“Observant! But that’s their way of not falling into a sexual fantasy! I’m a motherfucking open book that will open her legs with a snap of fingers! Rape is off-limits though!”

“And...?”

“Boy,...you will not hear the end of the day if you let me continue talk when I want to date that sexy ass of yours. ANd now that you have horns, now I have something to hold on when I’m riding- let’s go inside. now.” You made your way inside, shocking both outside.

“Now!!!!” you barked and both (Y/N) and boss head inside. I got closer look and I grin, “Oohh, you managed to get even sexier.”

“Wait...you both....really wanted to fuck me?”

“And date you, don’t forget that. We just didn’t want to make it awkward since you were out manager.” you explained, making you blush from the revelation.

“And you still want to date me?” He asked in clarification and you quickly grabbed his tie and pulled him down in a lustful kiss, taking your hand in mine to pull closer. I introduced tongue and when we pull apart, a string of saliva was attached, “You should wait until (Y/N) opens their mouth. I came three times.” you admitted, “didn’t even touch me.” I smirked, “Now come on, let’s ignore what just happened and just get on with it yeah?” you asked and leaned forward to kiss his neck. You blushed so hard, you felt him place his hand on your waist and nodded to male the move. His expression soften up and you leaned forward to kiss him, already twirling tongues.

One thing for sure, this relationship is the best one ever made.

[creepyoldguy6669]

Devil beej or just a flamboyant evil magician? Both? Both is good.

But fr what if,,,,, BJ became king of the netherworld after being banished there by Lyds.... also big sandy and lil sally are his hellhounds/hellsnakes

Enjoy uwu

[impactrueno]

i posted this song to go with the part where beej is rotting in his bed and his neighbors and family are worried for him. this one might not be as straightforward as little black submarines or ghosting, but it's a beautiful song that's always resonated with me, deeply.

for beetlejuice, i recontextualized the addiction part as his chaotic impulsivity and tendency to always listen to the little devil on his shoulder instead of lydia or his friends, even when it pushes them away.

is beetlejuice capable of change? more specifically, is he capable of changing for the better for the people he cares about? he already managed to apologize to donny in complete seriousness. completely out of character for him, even donny didn't know how to react (also out of character for him.)

i think his particles have been getting rearranged that whole time he's been like this.

[angelicdevil]

The four horsemen of my gender envy

Lydia x Beetlejuice shippers DNI

[nijjhar]

Punjabi - Sainsi Jatt Chaudhry Ranjit Sainsi ruled Punjab and not a Sing... Punjabi - Sainsi Jatt Chaudhry Ranjit Sainsi ruled Punjab and not a Singh Khalsa of wilderness. https://youtu.be/a4DI9il4Lpo Our Sainsi Jatt Maharajah Chaudhry Ranjit Sainsi Jatt ruled for 40 years. He was not a Singh. This Singh has been added by the satanic Khatris to collect Tithe from the village people. Singh is the surname of the Khalsas who were beheaded on the stage and then the head of one was sown with the torso of the other. They were revived with Amrit and given the surname "Singh". Such people do not live in the family homes but in the wilderness. The Khatris are the Emperors of Darkness and they are very daring robbers. 22 imposter Khatri Babae set up their shops in Baba Bakallae to fleece the people. So, produce our Jatt Banner and distribute it among the Border village people for our Unity or kill yourself as Sikh and Muslim. Let us support our New Chaudhry Chhotu Ram Ohliyan Pillar Chaudhry Satya Pal Malik Ji. Banners of our Jatt Unity:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/JattBanner.jpeg www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/JattIslam.htm www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/JattSikhism.htm Living Islam of Living Allah is of the “Al-Kitab” that gets written over your own heart through "Logical Reasoning" by the Grace of our Supernatural Father of our supernatural “Soul” Al-Ilah = Allah. No son of your tribal father, Qom, "Ilah" no son of Supernatural Father Allah. Only “fools” will believe in me and not in Allah. ASK, SEEK AND KNOCK. REAL SHARIAH-FREE ISLAM OF ALLAH - NOOR IN HONOUR OF ROYAL SHAH SHAMS TABRIZI. HUKUM RAZIAN CHALNA; NANAK LIKHYA NAAL. Sants of the Fourth Panth = Millatt are “Dass” and the Khalsas of the Third Panth are of the “Singh” surnames, Gotras. And Nanak was the Second Coming of Jesus, the “Christ = Satguru” and not a Brahmin “Guru”. The greedy Khatris messed up the devotees so much that they do not know the First and the Second Panths. http://www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/tenlights.htm  For the full article, visit:- http://www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/JattIslam.htm Real Islam is the knowledge of our spiritual Father Allah (Pakka Peo) for the twice-born "Seekers" of age who are faithful and have theENJOY YOUR SHAME ON OUR EDUCATED JATTS, THEY CAN’T UNITE US. IN 1947, OUR JATTS WERE NOT EDUCATED. LATTON KAE BHOOTT BATTON SAE NAHI MANTTAE. https://youtu.be/gSwPvK3B4rg MUSSALLMAN = GURMUKH SIKH. https://youtu.be/7VmQG3ew19E CHAUDHRY CHHOTU RAM OHLYAN JATT KO YAAD KRO AGGAR AAP NAE SIYASATT MAE KAMYAAB HONA HAE. Punjabi - Ch. Saddam Hussein Khokhar was a Jatt of the same Calibre as our Ch. Chhotu Ram Ohlyan Jat https://youtu.be/XAb1fhT3Mqk Sants of the Fourth Panth are "Dass" and the Khalsas of the "Third Panth" are "Singh" surnames. And Nanak was the Second Coming of Jesus, the "Christ = Satguru" and not a Brahmin Guru. The greedy Khatris messed the people so much that they did not know the First and the Second Panths. Punjabi - No son of Brahma, a Hindu, no son of Parbrahm, a Sikh but Shankar Varniyia Super Bastard Fanatic Devil, a TERRORIST. https://youtu.be/PMMG99nMANk Bhagat Namdev Ji:- Hindu is spiritually blind https://youtu.be/GDqOcARj4Po Punjabi - Satguru Angad Dev Ji https://youtu.be/aMBUhvacOAw WHY TEN LIGHTS? https://youtu.be/HquVBRjtXF8 www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/tenlight.htm Punjabi - Nirmallae Sants learnt the Scriptures from Kanshi and then, they Preached the Gospel. https://youtu.be/chiRrKtEqLg Much more on my website:- http://www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/UnitedJatts.htm Punjabi - Taliban - Al-Djmar Al-Aksa is best defeated by the tribal sons of Man and not by the guns. https://youtu.be/1dDW3SapKWE NAHI TO LALLON NAE AAP KAA DAMM BANDH KRNA HAE; KALI JHANDI LAGWA DO LALLON KAE. Youtube video in Punjabi:- https://youtu.be/QJLnbgoMMkM     http://www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/Chhotu.pdf Playlist for our Jatt Unity:-  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0C8AFaJhsWwfWhnrV1UKKbBJNCbYjqI3 PAEHLAE APNAE JISUM KAE BAAP, KACHA PEO – BEEJ – KO PAHCHANO – BRAHM KAE BAETTAE; PHIR AAP KO PAKKAE ROOH DAE PEO ELOHIM, ALLAH, PARBRAHM, ETC. KI KHABRAE HOSHH AUR SAMAJHH AAYE GEE. HAMAARI QOM, JAATI, KABEELA, ILAH, VAGAERA “SIRF JATT” HAE AUR MAZHAB AIK KAMEEZ KI TAREH/NEAYAN HAE. MAZHAB BADLA JAA SKTA HAE LAIKANN HAMARI JATT QOM NAHI BADLI JAA SAKTI. Why did you vote for parties other than your own tribal Party Jatt? Your house belongs to your Jatt father and so the land, then that should be looked after by your political father Jatt? And not these thieves and robbers........... For the unlisted videos:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/Unlisted.htm My ebook by Kindle. ASIN: B01AVLC9WO Private Bitter Gospel Truth videos:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/JAntisem.htm www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/JOHN 8V44.htm www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/Rest.htm Any helper to finish my Books:- ONE GOD ONE FAITH:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/bookfin.pdf and in Punjabi KAKHH OHLAE LAKHH:-  www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/pdbook.pdf Very informative Channel:- Punjab Siyan. John's baptism:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/johnsig.pdf Trinity:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/trinity.pdf