#detective douche
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Arcane VAs
Just some interesting stuff I found on the voice actors of Jayce & Viktor
Viktor is voiced by the same actor as Viserys Targaryen in GoT aka Harry Lloyd.
(yes the same one who got a head of molten gold poured on him)
Next is Jayce who’s voiced by Kevin Alejandro. Who you may recognise from the show Lucifer as Detective Douche or Dan Espinosa.
Thought that was pretty cool :)
Bonus one
Caitlyn is voiced by Katie Leung which you may recognise from Harry Potter as Cho Chang. Harry’s first crush 💜 during Goblet of Fire & Order of the Phoenix 🐦🔥
#arcane#arcane jayce#jayce x viktor#viktor arcane#viktor#voice actor#lucifer#detective douche#dan espinoza#viserys targaryen#viserys ii#game of thrones#daenerys targaryen#cho chang#harry potter#harry potter and the goblet of fire#order of the phoenix#jayvik
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I was proud of my drawing, but I don't think Detective Douche was a fan really... @dtchloedecker
#tumblr rp#rp#roleplay#lucifer morningstar#lucifer netflix#lucifer#lucifer x chloe#lucifer x chloe decker#lucifer x detective#detective douche
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Chloe- hey I heard Dan and Lucifer got stuck in the broken elevator today at the precinct
Ella- yeaaaaaa
Chloe- so have they finally worked things out
Ella- Dan had a full on mental breakdown and was hysterical by the time we got them out and Lucifer had willingly knocked himself out within 20 minutes of being stuck with Dan
#lgbt pride#lgbtq#lucifer incorrect quotes#lucifer netflix#lucifer morningstar#lucifer#tom ellis#netflix#detective espanoza#detective decker#detective douche#detective#chloe decker#dan espinoza#lauren german#kevin alejandro#ella lopez#aimee garcia#funny#lol
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It's a Canon event that, in another universe Jayce went insane in another plane in the universe
#jayce talis#dan espinoza#detective douche#lucifer#arcane#kevin alejandro#arcane memes#lucifer dan#detective espinoza
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*In the Interrogation Room, Dan wearing Kevlar, and Lucifer looking pissed*
Lucifer: I'm not going to sit here, and pretend there's not a big ass elephant in the room.
Maze: What the fuck is going on?
Lucifer, pointing to the Goddess and Dan making out: This is what the fuck is going on.
Maze: *stares at the two, trying to connect the dots*
Maze: ...OH SHIT. OH SHIT.
Maze, hysterically laughing: Oh shit, NO! This is NOT happening right now!
Maze, running to tell the rest of the precinct: NO!! Hey everyone, Dan fucked Lucifer’s Mom yo!!
Lucifer, to Dan: Every time she says that shit, that's another foot in your ass.
Maze, shouting from another room: Yo this is the best thing EVER! Dan fucked Lucifer’s mom!!
Maze, singing: Dan fucked Lucifer’s Mom!! Dan fucked Lucifer’s Mom!!!
Maze, joining Dan and Lucifer again: SHIT. FUCK. HOLY SHIT. THIS IS -
Maze, noticing the tension in the room: - really not that funny.
#lucifer#incorrect lucifer quotes#lucifer netflix#lucifer morningstar#mazikeen#mazikeen smith#daniel espinoza#detective douche#the goddess of all creation#charlotte richards#source: 22 jump street#we all really did gloss over the whole Dan x Lucifer’s mom thing did we
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Kevin alejandro and Lesley Ann Brandt, as Dt. Dan Espinoza and Mazikeen from Lucifer on Netflix, season 5. Chalk pastels on pastelmat.
#mazikeen#detective dan espinoza#lucifer#lucifer fanart#lucifer netflix#lesley ann brandt#kevin alejandro#pan pastel#chalk pastels#chalk#soft pastels#soft pastel#chalk pastel#pastel#pastelmat#traditionalart#traditional art#fan art#detective douche
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Just finished season 1 of Lucifer and here’s my takeaways:
1. I love Lucifer lol. Like, in real life he’d drive me nuts, but in the show he’s so funny
2. Maze and Amenadiel… lmao. That was fun
3. Chloe is such an interesting character to me, idk why. Like her portrayal (idek who plays her) isn’t always my favorite, but her decisions sometimes just confuse me and I sorta like that in a character.
4. Love the show. Wish I could binge it but I’m watching it with my husband (who has seen it before)
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"What are you doing Tuesday and Thursday?"
"Crying"
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FUN FACT
Lucifer’s mom and Detective Dan we’re both in the same episode of Burn Notice, one as a super secret handler, Carla, one as a drug runner, Raul!
#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#detective douche#dan espinoza#charlotte#Lucifer’s mom#Dan x Charlotte#Tricia Helfer#kevin alejandro
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in honor of @naylissah ‘s much-anticipated & awesome spiderverse Picrew coming out, here’s how I see different dbda characters w/ it !! might fuck around and do a part two with more of the characters (mainly bc I want to do Jenny and Monty tbh) but in sticking with my theme of doing picrews with these four I wanted to start here :) also ik there’s a few Spider-Man!DBDA AUs out there already so if anyone wants to recommend/promote under this post feel free !!! oh and last thing: I ordered these from most to least likely to be spider-man based purely off my thoughts, and if you want to know more about my thought process I’m happy to ramble about them lmao
#dead boy detectives#dbda#edwin payne#charles rowland#not my art#dead boy detective agency#crystal palace#niko sasaki#picrew#naylissah’s spiderverse picrew#spider man au#spider man: across the spider verse#spider man! Charles Rowland#spider man! Crystal Palace#spider man! Edwin Payne#spider man! Niko Sasaki#for the record I would see these all being from different universes#and some backstories shift a bit to accommodate the spider bite / the different characters#so like maybe aunt may remarries an abusive douche to explain Charles’s backstory#or like the spider in Niko’s universe almost killed her and turned her hair white à la the sprites#honestly Niko is last mostly bc she’s less athletic than Edwin#they all have a drive to do good beyond that yk#and Crystal is ahead of Edwin bc Edwin would be more skeptical of the idea of being a masked vigilante#if I wanted to draw these out I’d make their different spider suits more unique to them#but I don’t have time for that so here’s this instead lol
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Lucifer & Daniel
GIF by sg1-dannysworld
#not detective douche#lucifer#tom ellis#lucifer morningstar#daniel jackson#michael shanks#stargate#caturday#coffee#coffee my love#cute and fluffy#he's my babygirl your honor
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Hahahahahahahaha
Snarky Little Shit Sunday (Late Edition) + Bad LipReading
#see also: you probably didn’t even pass your Latin A-levels#see also: It’s Day-LEEB#not desLeebs#see also: I can drink more than you can#endeavour morse#snarky little shit sunday#bad lip reading#itv endeavour#endeavour itv#see also: too many people smoke in this 1960’s working class environment#see also: I’m the only one who got stabbed and shot in the same season#shaun evans#see also: I’m a good detective!#(internal monologue) Jakes you’re such a douche
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Karaoke with the gang
Dan- I'm just ken
Chloe- power (little mix)
Ella- that's what makes you beautiful (one direction)
Maze- bisexual anthem (Domo Wilson)
Lucifer- dramatic performance of into the unknown
#lgbt pride#lgbtq#lucifer incorrect quotes#lucifer netflix#lucifer morningstar#lucifer#netflix#tom ellis#dan espinoza#detective espanoza#detective decker#detective douche#detective#kevin alejandro#lauren german#chloe decker#ella lopez#aimee garcia#im just ken#one direction#frozen#into the unknown#little mix
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SLASHED A 12 Day Spooky Season CAS Challenge 🩸💀
Hi friends! It's getting closer to one of my favorite holidays, and I thought I'd make a CAS challenge to help bring in the spooky season. I've had this challenge in mind for a while, and now is the perfect time for it. I love slasher films, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, you name it. So, that's the theme of this CAS challenge. No rules, these are your slasher film characters. Just share, tag me (I'd love to see), and have fun!
Remember, use #windbrookslashed
*update: Day 6 “The Sacrifice” now encapsulates “The Fool” (stoner/ and or comic relief) character archetype - more details in glossary*
Find a character glossary below
Character Glossary
The Final Girl
Usually the one that survives the onslaught, they give the killer a run for their money
The Jock
A douche. They’re arrogant, irresponsible, and usually one of the ones to die first.
The Bad Girl
Flirtatious, sexy, and catty to a fault. Usually stuck up. They mean well, but ultimately cares only for themselves.
The Outcast
Responsible and level-headed, they're often perceived as a "Debby Downwer".
The Academic
Nerdy, kind-hearted, and loyal. They're either finding clever ways to outwit the killer or making the cast easy prey - by accident of course.
The Sacrifice/The Fool
We care about them, they’re funny and relatable. Usually ridiculed by The Jock and The Bad Girl. As much as we care about them, they typically die a gruesome death, ultimately warning the others of just what kind of danger their in.
The Skeptic
“See it to believe it” is their motto, and by then it's usually too late.
The Meddler
If there's a demonic ritualistic book locked by key, they're usually going to find a way to pry it open. Everyone suffers because of them, everyone.
The Harbinger
A creepy old person usually warning the main cast to stay far away from whatever impending danger they seem to be crashing into.
The Detective
Thinks they know best, and the main cast hates them for this. They're always poking around, checking things out. Typically they're a blessing to The Final Girl, helping best the killer, or a curse, in which you're happy to see them die.
The Hunter
Knows the killer's weakness and the best way to beat them. The Final Girl typically teams up with them to finally nail the killer. Usually, they're considered the other final character to survive.
The Killer
Iconic. The bringer of doom. It gives them pleasure to pick of the cast, reveling in their own cat and mouse game. No matter their backstory, it always leads to slaughter in the end.
#sims 4 cas challenge#sims cas challenge#sims halloween challenge#simberleen#s4 cas challenge#sims 4 challenge#s4 challenge#sims 4 halloween#windbrookslashed
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Dan: I'm Detective Dan Espinoza.
Lucifer: Dan Espinoza. That's your name?
Dan: Uh, yeah…
Lucifer: You could do better than that. I’m going to call you Detective Douche.
#daniel espinoza#lucifer#incorrect lucifer quotes#lucifer morningstar#source: parks and rec#lucifer netflix#detective douche
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His name is Ghost.
Toxic!Ghost and ...not you
You're friend wants you to meet a special someone, and he happens to be closer to you than you think. Literally. Word Count: 4.3k
"Yeah he's great, you should come meet him! Although I dunno, he said he wanted to keep 'us' a secret..."
You look up from your laptop at your best friend Michaela, who has blabbering about her new fling for an hour now. You hum in acknowledgment, but come on ... you're not really listening.
"And he has a sick motorcycle, but he's never let me on it..." She drones on.
"Uh huh."
"And he said I would look prettier with longer hair! Which I think means he finds me already a little pretty...?"
"Wow, I agree..."
"And- YO ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?"
You shut your laptop and focus wholly on her. "Mickey I love you, but this is the eighth guy you've loved this year. Whose to say this is gonna work out?"
Mickey sulks into your bed as you lecture her, finally being able to pour out your emotions.
"The last guy, who you planned a wedding for, you ended up dumping 'cos he reminded you of wet ketchup." You complain, moving your hands around over-dramatically. "And the dick before that, couldn't even pronounce your name correctly-"
"To be fair, Mickey is quite a hard name-" She butts in.
"It's a fucking Disney character, for Christs sake, who the fucks Missy? Listen, Mick, I'm happy for you, but you keep on dating douches, and then a month later, you come back crying to me about it. This isn't good for you or for me, you know how busy I am on this thesis."
Mickey's face contorts to a look of displeasure and betrayal, her eyes squinting as if she's trying to restraint the tears that look like they're about to burst in a moment.
She looks away before recollecting her thoughts, "I- I just thought you'd be happy for me-"
"I am Mickey! I really am! But it's like you search up 'world's most toxic asshat' and decide to bone the dude. They never treat you well Mick...come on, even a blind guy can see that..."
Your friend looks down, playing with the hem of her jumper, as if she's carefully considering your words, but you know her enough to know that she doesn't care for her advice. 4 weeks from now, and shes going to be sitting on your bed bawling her eyes out over another prick.
"You really are the worst, you know that?" She mumbles almost inaudibly, before getting up and heading towards the door of your dingy flat. You call out her name, telling her to come back, but give it a month, she'll come back trying over a different person.
It's a dark stormy Friday night, not even a week since your last contact with her, and there's already a brash pattern of knocks bombarding at your door. You look up from your laptop, almost a quarter into your thesis.
I swear if it's my fucking landlord again... You think as you grab a bat to protect yourself with, Mickey always complains about how dangerous your neighbourhood is.
You sigh out of relief when you peer through the peephole, it's Michaela...but she looks hysterical.
"Mickey...hey listen, I didn't mean what I said..." You start when you open the door to her furrowed eyebrows and hiccuped sobs.
"H- He- He keeps ghosting me-" She tries.
"Mickey, what's going on, who-"
She digs her face into the nook of your right shoulder, and your sharp nose detected the slight smell of booze, "Saw him at the grocery store, b-but he ignored me."
"Michaela honey, sit down. Okay what's going on." You bring her to your bed.
And so she tells you all about it. About the new guy that she's been seeing for 2 weeks now, how she met him at a new bar opening in your area, about how he sweet talked her into buying her a few drinks, and how he drove her home like a real gentleman. Your face scrunches when she accidentally spills about the part how rough he pounded her in her bedroom, with both her wrists tightly gripped and bound by one of his large callous hands, as he bent her over her desk.
The skillful way in which he dug his hips into her ass, 'thrusting into her like God told him to' as she put it. You mumble a little blasphemous when you hear that part.
A few more, 'Oh the dick was so good, I can't, I'm obsessed' and 'He fucked me like my future husband would', and she finally stops, her train of tears coming to a halt and she blankly stares at your ceiling, laying on your bed.
You nod dimly, not knowing whether to use the pep talk that you'd used for the last guy.
"What's this guy's name again?" You question her.
She shrugs, without energy, and the idea of injecting with a tranquiliser faintly disappears from your mind.
You look at her with amusement. "What do you mean-" you shrug, mocking her actions, "Does he have an ugly name like the other guy...what was...oh, Lester?"
Mickey snorts, looking up at you, "Lester didn't know how to eat me out, like he did."
"You don't need to bring up every sexual detail, Mick..."
"Sorry virgin..." She huffs.
You cringe at her, "Okay, so what's his name, it can't be as bad as Lester." She doesn't respond, her eyes tearing up again, "Um, okay, Imma say some names, tell me if I get it. James, John, Joseph, Jeremy, Jeremia-"
"Why are they all J names?" She mutters.
"Uh hello, you barged into my flat at 11 P.M. and you're drunk, considering how toxic this guy is, it's gotta be a J name. Jerome, Jude, Javon, Julius, Jason-"
"G." She stops you.
"G? Jason with a G...what the...Gason? Yeah, girl, if his name was that ugly, I'd be crying just as hard at you-"
"NO UH." She shouts so loudly, dragging her words, that even the gust of wind stops in fright. "His name starts with G...I think it does at least. He wouldn't tell me his real name...just a nickname."
You nod, as if in agreement, but you stop yourself because you've never been in a similar situation. As much as you love Michaela, you despise almost everything she does.
Like how in 2nd year of university, she missed an exam just so she could go on a date with a guy she was seeing. And she wonders why she had to retake that module over the summer.
There was also the time at your 20th birthday dinner, where she uninvitingly decided to bring her fling for the month, and no, you couldn't the food given the amount of time they decided to share saliva right in front of you.
"Wow Mick, your standards be dropping like this economy." You kid, although some part of you really questions how much truth lied behind that, "So, hit me. Who's this guy you've been seeing. Tell me about him."
"You for real?" She smiles sweetly at you, and for a second, every bone of hate towards her actions wash away. At the end of the day, she still is your best friend, and you should support her decision no matter what. That's what friends do, no?
"Yeah. I'm sorry. What's his name...or nickname? What do you call him?" You hold her hands, rubbing above her thumbs.
She sniffs a bit, but her smile doesn't falter, and her cheek blushes at the mere thought of him.
"His name is Ghost."
It's official. This was the worst guy Mickey has dated.
You've made a list of all people she's been with, ranking them with how well they'd treated her.
Okay so, Derek was a pass, he cheated on her with the Philosophy professor...literally worst degree ever. What kinda dumb career can you even go into with that.
Then there's Jonah, reaaaal bad boy, but he screamed like a girl and was way too deep into feminism. Pass, how do you manage to mansplain feminism??
Marc, aspiring footballer. You know what, smash, he was fine, I'll give her that. But then he left to play for Spain and never texted back... But he had dimples, so I'd forgive him.
Oh how did I forget Oliver. Auditioned to be a k-pop idol but lied about being Korean the entire time...pass for sure.
GAAH! There all so trash!
And yet there's another member on this list. Nameless, faceless 'Ghost'.
"What does he look like?" You begin your interrogation.
"Dunno." Mickey shrugs.
"How old is he?"
"Dunno."
"...Career?"
"Dunno."
"Dunno as in you don't know, or dunno as in this freak's unemployed?" You rub your temples in frustration.
Mickey sighs seeing how annoyed you are, she begged and dragged you out of your flat into the bright lights and atmosphere of a cafe.
"I think he's loaded, he-"
You sigh, "You said that about the last guy, and that was just because you couldn't see the minus sign on his online banking app."
"Can you not get annoyed at me for a second? This is my potential husband for all I know." She says exasperatingly.
"Ah yes! Your husband is a nameless, faceless, jobless knobhead who you've had sex with once, talked to...ONCE. Remind me why you're so hooked on this guy? Here's a challenge, don't mention his dick."
An elderly lady sitting on the table besides you two, grumbles and leaves after hearing that.
"...Can I have a sip of your frappe?"
"Oh would you look at that! Princess Mickey DOES know how to ask a question! You couldn't just, I don't know....ASK for his name? Don't act like this was the hardest thing you've done, remember when you considered proposing TO A MAN-"
"The only hard thing about Ghost...was his penis."
The cafe goes silent when she blurts that out.
You sigh for what felt like the 100th time that hour, and you lean in to whisper to Mickey, "Mick, it's been just over a week since you've last seen him- whose to say you'll see him again?"
She rests her head in her hands, clenching her eyes shut at the thought. "I thought I'd run into him again, I don't know...Am I stupid for wanting him so bad?"
Yes, yes you are. You want to say. But you bite your tongue.
"nOoOoO, oF cOuRsE nOt, gah, why'd you say tha- yes. Yes, you are." So much for trying, "You don't even remember what he looks like, are you sure we're not stuck looking for a character out of one of your sex dreams?"
Mickey leans in so close to you, that you can smell the coffee breath.
"I know I was drunk, but I swear, I woke up and there was hickeys all over my neck-"
"But you said he was wearing a mask-" You're interrupting her and you can tell it irritates her, with her eyebrow twitching.
"Yes, but I don't remember-"
"What colour was the mask?"
"Uh, black."
"Was it a surgical mask or a balaclava?"
"Um, a baklava."
"Bitch, that's a pastry dish."
"I CAN'T! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" Mickey screams, standing up so abruptly, everyone in the cafe stops and turns.
You gasp, purposely loud so everyone can hear, "Are you breaking up with me...because I'm homeless?" All of the cafe goers murmur to each other at the scene in front of them.
"We were at your flat an hour ago, you fool- come on we're going." Mickey hisses, dragging you out the cafe, uncomfortably smiling at all the people that looked at you with sympathy, "No, don't feel bad, apparently a thesis is more to important than my future husband."
The walk home was pleasant, with Mickey hooking her arms around of yours, onlookers may have assumed that you two were a couple. But overall, it was nice being in her presence without the mention of any men.
"Hey look, the room next to yours is vacant. Maybe I should move in!" Mickey points out, when both of you have made it down the stairs of your building.
"I don't want you that often, jeez." You joke.
And for a while, your days do seem to be getting better.
It's been a month since your little cafe date, and you're still stuck at home grovelling through your tedious thesis.
The good news is, you're about 3 quarters in, the bad news is, your new neighbour has no apparent spatial awareness, having blasted his rock music through the floor. Unlucky for you, there's only 3 apartments on the floor of your building: you, Mr Feldman (who you're sure is deaf considering he hasn't made any complaint from the noise) and you're new neighbour, whom you've never met but already hate.
"TURN DOWN YOUR MUSIC DUMBASS." You bang on the door of your neighbour.
Yet no one opens the door and apologises.
In the evening, the noises get worse. Instead of rock, it's a combination of Weeknd songs and the loud female moans and bed shaking next door. Once you'd heard voices that had belonged to 2 women, so you deduced that you lived next to a sex-crazed lesbian.
"Mr Feldman, how are you okay with it?!" You complain. You've had enough of the noise, especially the headboard banging since it seems your neighbours bedroom is just a wall away from yours.
"Okay with what, sweetheart?" The elderly gentleman croaks out, standing at his doorstep.
"The noise! You don't hear the loud ass music?" You groan, having being repeating yourself for a 2nd time.
"Yes, the music is ass, but it isn't loud." Mr Feldman says, his finger tapping at his chin, comically pondering with his jurassic-age brain.
You roll your eyes, walking away and towards your own room, "How- I feel forgetting how old you truly are...."
"I heard that."
"I really doubt you did." You shut the door on him.
This is a real issue, not like the ones Mickey has with men, you can't focus on your thesis, this could seriously jeopardise your education.
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: have u talked to ur landlord
ᵇʳᵒˢᶦᶜᵏˡᵉˢ: duh i unleashed my inner karen, but he isnt doing anything cos this dick offered to pay almost double the rent for his flat
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: damn he loaded
ᵇʳᵒˢᶦᶜᵏˡᵉˢ: yet he cant afford earphones apparently
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: why dont u get him some
ᵇʳᵒˢᶦᶜᵏˡᵉˢ: wat
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: as a joke
ᵇʳᵒˢᶦᶜᵏˡᵉˢ: hm thats funny mickey
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: thanks who am i talking to again
So you did just that, you placed a pair of pink wired earphones in his mailbox... which happened to be right next to yours. And you waited.
And waited.
And a week later, and no response.
Your neighbour definitely doesn't know that he has a mailbox does he? A week since you're little prank, and yet you can still hear the music through the walls so loud, you think you've developed tinnitus. The throbbing in your ears is so painful, sometimes you feel phantom drips of blood running down your ear.
"Asshole doesn't even turn down the music. Come on, play some Beyonce at least."
Mickey snickers, she's on your bed texting other people.
"You're not even listening, are you?" You throw a pillow at her playfully to get her attention.
"Babe, it's 1 in the afternoon and I can't hear any music now, let's not start the day like this. Say, there's a lil get together in that bar down the road, you there?" She says, but you're not even sure she's talking to you as she hadn't looked up to you since saying that.
You crack your neck from exhaustion, "Nah I'll pass, need to finish a draft of my thesis and sen-"
"Blah blah blah, all I hear are excuses, thesis this thesis that." She rolls her eyes.
"Yeah, well you would have failed high school and university if not for me. So you paying with cash or card?" You boast.
Mickey gets up, dusting herself, "Listen I gotta dash, but I better see you there- it starts at 11."
"Woah, wait, which bar, who's going, what's the dress code- Okay you're gone."
And for a first time in a while, you're stuck in your room alone, without the loud obnoxious music and without anyone constantly whining at you. Peace and silence-
Hold on, what's that?
You press your ear against your bedroom wall, which is funny considering you usually complain about the noise. It's not music, it's more sultry and sexual. Deep and gruff moans escaping someone, and this time it's actually enjoyable to listen to. Nothing like those pornstar like squeals you were used to, no. This was more raw.
The way his voice broke at certain points combined with the lazy irregular slick noises, which you imagined to be his dick slipping through his tight, cocooned fist.
"Fuck, mhm."
That voice.
If this was the voice of your neighbour, you would have never complained about the commotion. Was this why Mr Feldman has no issue with the noise? Was he blessed with the intimidating whimpers next door?
You press further, ignoring the growing wetness pooling at your underwear. You could tell he started thrusting faster, his voice increasing in volume just a little bit.
You could tell he's close.
But some part of you wanted to deny him of this pleasure.
So instead of touching yourself with your neighbour, you're standing right in front of his door, banging against the door frame with all the might you can muster, you fear you might break it down.
The door opens.
And you're face to face with your neighbour.
And a minute the warmth between your legs actually makes sense. Because you're neighbour isn't a sex crazed lesbian...you're neighbour is a-
"Sex God,"
"Excuse me?" His voice is deeper when he's talking.
"... I said, oh God. Can you keep the music down?" You reroute your words, drinking in the appearance of this beast in front of you.
He's tall, maybe a few inches taller than 6 foot, with short dusty blonde hair, and a prominent scar running through his thin but well moisturised lips. And his jawline, wow, the Gods above must have spent eons perfecting his jaw structure-
"'m sorry. But uh, hey thanks for the earphones." He pulls out one of the hot pink earbud from his ear.
You blush, he had seen his gift, "Uh huh, how'd you know it's from me?"
"Y' think old man Feldman's gonna buy a bloke hello kitty earphones?" He kids.
"Maybe, it's 2024. Live and let live. Don't be shocked if you see Feldman walking around in a skirt." And you're surprised he laughs your joke, admiring the crease lines by his mouth when he smiles, almost forgetting that you had an imagine in your head that he was the worst possible neighbour alive...
"Cute." He comments, looking down at you.
"Me...? Or are you visualising Feldman....." You drag your words, until he laughs again, leaning onto his door frame and just then you understand why Mickey would chase guys the way she does.
"No, please, he's not my type. I lean towards um...cute, short neighbours."
"You're literally just describing Feldman, dude,"
"That's on me," he smiles widely at you, "If I had known it was you banging on my door, I'd 'ave opened it a while back." He flirts.
You blink at him, no ones ever flirted with you. What would Mickey do? No, she'd just snog him this very moment. I mean, what's stopping you?
"If I'd known you were my neighbour, I'd be banging you a while back. Wait."
There's a pause in the conversation and you're too scared to correct yourself. "I-"
But he cuts you off, letting out the loudest laughs at that you'd ever heard, almost as if he was cursed not to laugh and it had finally been broken. The type where he hand gently grabs your shoulder and you could almost feel the vibrations from his broad chest.
What a sight.
"You know what I meant." You giggle, wait, when did you start giggling?
His laugh ends in a fit of small coughs, "Didn't catch your name, dove."
You introduce yourself, opting not to sticking your hand out like you're in a job interview.
But he does it for you, placing one large callous hand in front of you, for you to shake.
"Simon." He says as he kisses the back of your hand.
You thought when you met Simon, that you two had bonded, like he was about to ask you out bonded, but alas you were wrong.
You laid in bed the rest of the day, intending to complete a draft for your thesis, yet instead you found yourself on Sims creating a family for you and your beloved Simon. And a short nap later, you wait up to over 20 notifications from your friend.
4 missed calls from ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: yoooo wru??? its 11:30
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: HOEEEE WAKE UP
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: fuck ur thesis come hereee im drunk
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: BABE THE GHOST GUY IS HERE NO JOKE
5 missed calls from ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: you better be dead
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: oml he saw me
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: black baklava btw
2 missed calls from ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: hehehehe im going back to his place
ᴹᶦᶜᵏᵉʸᴹᵒᵘˢᵉᶜˡᵘᵇʰᵒᵘˢᵉ: if i die yk where im at yh
Oh shit. It's past midnight, you try calling Mickey but her phone goes straight to voicemail, curse her and her DND.
You start looking for your keys, there's no way you're attending the party, you're just going to pick her up from whomever's place she's at and take her home.
"Mhm, doll, jus' like that."
You pause in your step. Mickey's safe right? A quick listen wont hurt anyone.
"'lil deeper pretty girl, yeah, like that."
Some part of you wishes it was porn Simon was watching, and that God was playing a cruel joke on you, introducing you to the prettiest guy you've seen, and now suddenly you're stuck hearing him fuck someone else? Yeah, you've heard it before but...this time it made you feel uneasy.
This time you knew who was behind the voice, you knew who was moaning. And forgive me, but you thought you had a connection, no? That talk earlier today...did it mean nothing?
And when did he suddenly become so vocal? What was so special about this girl than the others?
You stand still, with your ear pressed so tightly against the wall, you've probably left a mark against it. And his moans never stop.
And hers start. For a second you feel like you recognise the female voice, but through the slurs and hand-covered whimpers (you presume), you can't figure out if it was familiar to you or not.
You flinch when the head boards banging, and you feel yourself throwing every romantic thought you've had of this man when you hear his degrading tone towards her.
"C’mon, make yourself cum on my cock, dove."
You gulp hearing him use the nickname he gave you on someone else.
30 minutes of torture.
You stood against that wall, with your ear so firmly pressed, someone might have thought it was glued on. The only sounds you were focused on was his whimpers and you caught the way his voice broke when he spoke, and your infrequent breathes.
When the noises stopped, you stepped back in embarrassment. You felt so shameful practically peering into a man's sex life. How disgusting are you truly?
You reach into your pockets, feeling for your keys and your phone, suddenly remembering Mickey's whereabouts.
ᵇʳᵒˢᶦᶜᵏˡᵉˢ: just woke up
You lied. You couldn't ever tell someone of today.
ᵇʳᵒˢᶦᶜᵏˡᵉˢ: omw wru
You open your door, feeling the abrupt urge to surround yourself within nature after doing something so distasteful. And if it couldn't get any worse...
Simon's door opens.
One part of you wants to turn and see which lucky girl had the opportunity to getting plowed by him, and yet the other part knew you'd immediately crumble at the thought of it not being you.
"Oh my god! That's why this place looks so familiar....!"
You widen your eyes, your breathe getting caught once again.
"Mickey...?" You whisper, not even turning your head to look at the horror next door.
"Yes, it's me silly. Come here, want you to meet someon- oh can't walk, fuck." She giggles, barely conscious.
You turn your head towards her slowly, like a movie character.
It's Mickey in the flesh, wearing jeans and a black tube top that had been worn so sloppily, you were almost scared you were going to get flashed. She smiles innocently at you were half lidded eyes.
"Oh...I-"
A figure walks out, dressed in a blue-gray 3/4 sweater and a hood, and you swear you feel yourself sinking into the ground. Could this get any worse.
And your wishes were answered. Mickey turns back to press a vulgar, almost cringe-worthy kiss against his clothed jaw, and you shift your eyes down... to see his dark jeans... and the zip undone. You turn your head around, almost debating to ignore the couple and lock yourself into your bedroom until death overcomes you. Your darting eyes rest on his face, begging for him to say something to remove the awkwardness.
Yet, something about Simon was different...
His eyes bore deeply into your soul as if trying to read you, his once kind face contorted into a look of pure disgust, like he were looking into the eyes of a killer. This didn't look like the man you talked to this morning...
His eyes drag down over your crooked frame, a raised eyebrow twitching almost in mock sympathy. To make it worse, he had his arms crossed so tightly around him, he looked like the human epitome of a 'side eye'.
You pray to God it's the effects of alcohol. Or maybe you're the drunk one! Maybe you're sleeping and this is all just a dream, or nightmare...
You put your hands on the doorknob, wanting to resign yourself from this situation when your eyes drift back to Mickey, who seems to have taken the liberty of speaking.
"I want you meet the guy I was talking to you about. His name is Ghost."
First of all, thank you all for 6200 likes and 300 followers?!!!! THE BEST <3 Also, my writing schedule is so poor, I'll try to update as much as possible!! tags -> @lilliumrorum , @kxtz3 , @poohkie90, @rainlovesyou12 , @restrictionsapply-blog , @lunamoonbby , @nigthmar3moon , @thychuvaluswife , @itsnourm , @bubusi11, @chessecakelover , @owkittie, @cheomain , @corvusmorte , @k4es , @mandythemint , @copiasratscheese , @yyiikes , @funkyysho3es, @delta98-idk , @spankmydepression , @yourfavbabigirl
#call of duty#cod#call of duty modern warfare#ghost#ghost angst#simon riley#ghost cod#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon angst#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#ghost smut
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