#destiel fic because it's Canon and we never actually got them together

[swiftiefirefighters]

I don't think anyone would disagree that fandom dynamics have changed thanks to social media giving fans direct access to the creators, but I think that's different to people caring if their ship is canon/endgame or not.

i think it's less *caring* and more feeling entitled to it or expecting it. i think a lot of shipping, in my own opinion and *experience*, was always previously more about the fandom part of it - you found some people who loved your characters and you shared stories and wrote fics and had silly little headcanons.

now there's this real entitlement that because a ship is popular that means that it should happen. that's a fairly new attitude, like i said, IN MY EXPERIENCE. i've been in fandom for a long time. i remember shipping angel/cordelia and buffy/spike back in the day and i don't really think anyone thought either of them would be canon until they were. spike and buffy was literally kind of a crack ship and then it happened in season 6 and i remember fandom being like OH MY GOD all over the place because we legitimately didn't even think they'd go there. it was a bit different for angel/cordelia since that was more of a destiel situation where they never *really* got together because cordelia got fucked over as a character, but i don't think anyone expected it to ever be real.

certainly you had your buffy/angel v buffy/spike people but there wer also buffy/xander people and all sorts fighting over who she should be with (and then no one won! it was great!) but it was very very different.

again, i can only speak from my own experience here, and my opinion is just that there's way too much emphasis on what is and isn't canon when it comes to having fun in fandom. i more or less have found that when the ships i like become canon, i actually end up being really disappointed in how canon *does* them, so i have more fun playing in my sandbox when i'm just playing with characters that aren't together - once they're together i find you're more bound by what canon gives you and that's a lot less fun. and i think a ship doesn't need to be canon for you to love it. that's not to say you shouldn't want your ship to be canon, obviously you can't really help what you like and enjoy.

i just think the emphasis on it and the vitriol and in-fighting and personal attacks it tends to cause and the way people can't leave creatives involved in the shows alone because of the need for their opinions and headcanons to be validated is ....too much.

[hornystiel]

hiii!! offering my 2 cents on the subject of "old man". younger generations in general use it very loosely but it's without ill intent, rather it's coming from a perspective of "that man (dilf) is so hot i need them but i could never because they'd see me as a child so i gotta call them old instead". like they're out of my league but i'll blame it on the age difference you know?

and in destiel's case i believe it's affectionate, they're old compared to most queer couples represented and they're getting older together and it's hopeful to see that :)

~ a gen z mutual who's too shy to come off anon ly 🤍

hi! a literal wall of text ahead

okay i actually have a lot of thoughts about this topic and i really hope i won't sound rude but i just want to talk about it for a sec here. and below will be purely my own musings which probably won't coincide with a general fandom views on the matter and it's wider than this question and destiel but well

anyway

i totally get what you're saying about younger fans calling them old because they're too young for them but still hot etc etc. i know that's not some ill intent, clearly. however, what bothers me about the question of 'old' age in fandom spaces is this - for some 'old' starts somewhere around 35+ and they mean it (i wonder what they call a 50 yo? a corpse probably). and yeah of course for 16 yo 35 is twice their age but i wouldn't have even the slightest problem with it because i've been in fandom spaces since i was maybe 14 and stumbled upon people of different ages and backgrounds and we can all coexist quite fine. but what i see now (and maybe again, that's like a recurring generational thing, i don't know, i'm not that old and i wasn't in english spaces until i got at least 18-20 so) - those younger fans repeatedly saying 'you're 30 and in fandom? get out. go find some appropriate hobbies for your age group, like fishing hehe'. like it's fine to be horny over some dudes twice (or even more) your age, but people who in reality are not even that far from you, because usually it's 20 somethings who write such things - and it's a crime. you're suddenly gross. i wonder what those kids would do without all the stuff written, drawn and giffed by those who have a child on one hand, a full time job on the other, and their age appropriate hobbies in between. like when i was a tiny fan i was like 'holy shit that person somehow found a way to update that long ass sherlock fic while being neck deep in her family things and work i wanna be like them!" and it also gave me hope about the future of my fandom life. like age shouldn't matter. but now i see this shit, the whole 'more than 3 yo age difference is pedo' talk, 'adult creators shouldn't post anything because children can see' talk etc etc. and i know, of course, that that's the general internet censorship on the rise and neopuritanism is dancing tango with it but still.

what i'm saying - i do have a problem with younger generation using the term old very 'loosely' because they wield it as a double aged sword. you're either some hot dilf who can be forgiven for your shitty fandom takes because well you're hot (and i'm not talking about anyone in particular here rn) or you're a gross 30 smth in fandom space who shouldn't draw porn because teens can't click the block button

AS FOR DESTIEL

short answer - i don't like what the people who call them old add to their characters and lives when they do that.

long answer under the cut

all of that is what EYE don't like in most popular fandom hcs and i usually just scroll past the things i don't like, i don't want to start shit publicly (and because of what, takes?), but here you can read what i usually think when i see them.

first - if we're talking canon ages. 40 smth and this is dean's age at the end of the show - is NOT old. at all. i can't even call him that affectionately. because this is the tragedy of it all - he dies YOUNG. very fucking young, he didn't see any calm life, didn't pursue his dreams, didn't have a normal life and love and then he died. in a way, and i see some others think the same, calling him old is like 'welp it's not that bad, he lived long enough, seen shit'. but the thing is - he didn't? literally. so no, for me he's young, died young and it's fucking awful. not talking about cas here because well, billions years, old, young, he's everything (<3)

if we're talking about post canon fics where they settle. you can all burn me at the stake but sadly my spirit will just repeat the same shit - making them some kind of a wannabe hetero aging couple is not only boring as fuck, but also completely out of character for them?

what i usually see in the posts with 'old men <3' there

some variation of a white picket fence house

baby jack

dean being some kind of a soccer mom who bakes and argues with other moms

cas being more of a dad shaped thing who gardens and Doesn't Get It at the parents' meetings or somewhere equally boring and somehow still clueless about a lot of human shit

them creaking every part of their bodies (jesus my joints have been like this since i was 14, and my back is bad now when i'm only 30 where is my retirement pakige?)

probably forgetting smth but you get the gist. and, again, not saying that that's ALL i see with the old men posts and art etc (some hcs are wild and i LOVE them), but the majority? yeag, i've been permanently a destiel blogger for 4 years now, i've seen the popular stuff

doesn't all of that remind you of a typical heterosexual family on some conservative cable tv show? if not i'm happy for you, but i can't help but see how the roles are set in stone and i don't find it endearing at all. that's one reason. and also i'm a strong believer that a baby won't fix dean. jack won't fix shit and here's another stick to my pyre - i don't care about him at all and i think that dean especially should focus on himself and his own shit and his shit with cas if they settle together, not be thrown into the baby routine again. the fandom likes to remind everyone how dean raised sam and it's mostly true but don't you think for one goddamn second he would want/need to live for himself and not over obsess about bringing up another kid? sure he loves them, but if every person with dean's baggage were trusted with kids as a cure-al ...well. and again very hetero, 'you should have a child, that'll fix your hysteria!' i'll even say, very real life stuff, just not the one i want to see here.

another reason is this - they are freaks.

they are assholes, freaks, serial killers, undead creatures, bad people...who are very much in love and very soft with each other and their family but they are still freaks. and i don't understand how them getting old will so fundamentally change so many aspects of their characters that they become typical suburban mom and dad combo. maybe i sound like a person who doesn't want them to be happy, or who doesn't get the 'it shows that their life is finally calm and they can pursue Normal Hobbies and Raise Kids and Build a Farm (idk how that is a calm place have you ever been on a farm with animals that you should watch and take care and kill if needed. another talk for another time) and To Love is to be Changed' etc etc etc. believe me i get it all perfectly, just not for them. if it tickles your pickle, by all means. what tickles mine is cas getting the weirdest (and often dangerous) hobbies (and this is why i got him driving a motorcycle, boxing and skydiving in my old men cheating fic) and he's an impatient guy so i don't think he'd love gardening really, he'd be mad at the plants and kill them or grow them as fast as his grace would allow (yes i'm also against human all the way cas, baby we're getting a bingo here). and dean of course should have ties with his community and i've already talked about this but i see how they are out of active hunting, but still help those who are still in it (if the supernatural isn't wiped completely and i don't see why it should be), maybe they always have a place in their home for those who come to regroup or just to chat or smth. and dean is an overprotective and micromanaging asshole so he would want to still have the gist of it all (and cas would want to unwind by killing some things from time to time)...and they still sleep in the same bed, eat the food they cook together, wear matching tatts maybe as a wedding gift to each other, and have dogs, cats and whatnot.

what i want to say - i don't get why the weird and the sweet can't coexist. why should they lose all of their insane bits. they loved each other WITH them (cursed or not remember) why should they change so drastically to fit the 'happily ever after' narrative.

anyway i can probably write a lot more but that's a long ass grumbling as it is.

sorry your question became the starting point for this rent i genuinely hope i didn't offend you and if you finished reading all of this woah you are a hero <3

[snarkythewoecrow]

hi there what are your favorite ships in different fandoms and how did you found out about them and why did you fell for this ships

Okay, so let me think…

Going back to my Twilight days, even though I’d love to forget, I have to say that I’ve always been into Jasper with anyone—mainly because he’s got some issues, and between his struggles with control and his empathic abilities, writing him was always so fun. And weirdly, my favorite pairing for him actually was a crossover. I liked him with Harry Potter, female or male Harry, both were great.

In Torchwood, I shipped Ianto and Jack because they were perfect together, and you can’t convince me otherwise. Though… my favorite ship might actually be Owen/Ianto, as I love the combination and the potential for enemies to lovers. Owen is just so crass and abrasive but such a softy underneath. Also, he is a doctor, so great for hurt/comfort tropes. And Ianto paired with him, with the way he could sass and annoy Owen, but also, damn, Ianto was hurting in so many ways, and both Owen and Ianto had experienced such loss, losing people they loved. So yeah, I loved bringing them together. 

Sherlock, I think I always shipped John and Sherlock, as they were just so great together, though I could be particular with how they were written. I have exactly one fic for that fandom, but I did love it. 

Harry Potter, oh what a fandom and so many mixed feelings. Let’s see, generally, I think I ship Hermione and Sirius or Hermione and Remus the most? Though that said, speaking crossover fics? I tend to like a lot of things, usually ones that are mixes of MCU and HP, especially soulmate fics. I have written a Sam Wilson/Harry Potter that I actually adore.

Sandman is very easy, I love Dream/Hob, and I have no reasons other than they offer so many possible takes, though I have yet to write them. And I am pretty drawn to The Corinthian/Dream/Hob, too, so yeah, that’s something I’m pretty into also.

Then we have the MCU, and that is pretty much fair game, though Brock Rumlow and Jack Rollins are two of my favs, especially when it’s softer than you expect. I love Brock/Darcy with a passion. So good and worth reading some if you haven’t. I have written one for them already. Then I think Steve/Bucky/Tony is my other standby favorite, as that ship doesn’t make me choose. Oh, and Steve/Clint is undervalued, and more people need to get into that—though I enjoy the more comic take of Clint with Steve, where Clint is a hot mess of a dumpster fire. 

Oh, and Supernatural, I actually gasp never liked Destiel! Sorry, it never clicked for me. Instead, I ended up shipping Sam with Lucifer, idk. Apparently, my brain is dysfunctional, and I didn’t really care who Dean was with.

And for The Old Guard, which I have written one ficlet for, I will say that I love Joe and Nicky with my whole damned heart. Like, damn those two for being such romantic saps. Like how could anyone listen to Joe wax poetic about Nicky for 2 minutes straight before kissing him like he didn’t need air and not love them? 

And then, finally, we get to 911, which all canon ships I adore. How can you not? This damn show owns my heart. But Buck/Eddie are definitely the ring leaders, rulers, the ones holding fucking court over all the other pairings right now. Like those two idiots with their single brain cell bouncing around between them, like shit, how can you not them? Buck is a mess, and Eddie is his fucking person, his home, his safe place to rest and hide from the world. And I think Buck is, in some ways, the purpose and the compass that Eddie needs to stay moving forward and not get lost in the storm.

[pherryt]

shipping ask game: Destiel, SamxRowena, JaskierxGeraltxYennifer

OH! A 3 in 1 - very nice! thank you! :D

Firstly - I think my AO3 proves definitively that I avidly ship Destiel :D I do low key ship Sam and Rowena (though they are not my favorite Sam ship) and I do love me some Geraskefer as well :D (Season 2 definitely helped with that)

Destiel:

What made you ship it?

Tumblr opened my eyes to it, but once I saw it, I couldn't stop seeing it.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

So much angst but so much loyalty too. So much genuine feeling. There's so much to play with, as a writer. I find it's hard to pin these things down because some of it boils dow to I just love the characters so much, so I want them to be together and be happy.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Hmm… if i do hold one, it is not one that i've been made aware of being unpopular. Maybe their sexualities? I think of Dean as bi (and i had a follower once who very much did not agree) and Cas as ace (which i've been questioned about, because the reader couldn't see that working, but it didn't really come off to me as they didn't like it, more that they couldn't understand).

SamxRowena:

What made you ship it?

I think it's the way they understand each other in ways other people just can't.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I mean - exactly the same reason that made me ship it. But i guess the potential for the two of them to get up to shenanigans :D

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I think in this case, just liking the ship might be mildly unpopular? not necessarily because there's hate for it, but it's a rare pair for sure (508 fics if i did the search right) But I have never hesitated to dive into a rare pair just because it intrigued me.

JaskierxGeraltxYennifer:

What made you ship it?

the bickering/bantering ALL of them have going on, but then sometimes you can SEE how soft they can be for each other/how much they actually care. I don't think i would have gotten the same jaskier/yenn out of the books as we got for yen/geralt and geralt/jask, but season 2 more than made up for that. And I'm more than okay with blending canons :D

What are your favorite things about the ship?

i really am finding the more i look at these questions that I very much can use the same answers between this and the reason for WHY lol. But seriously, the banter/bicker between them all but especially jaskier and yenn is just so fun with exasperated (and sometimes confused) Geralt just along for the ride once he figures out they don't actually hate each other.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Hmmm... Honestly, again, I find myself coming up blank? I know there are folks out there that don't like Yenn, so would not like this ship, or folks that don't think Geralt deserves to get Yenn OR Jaskier back and there's no way for him to ever apologize to either of them. That his actions are unforgivable. But i don't believe it's that absolute. it could be fun to explore in fic, but I'm much happier with an all of them happy end game.

Honestly, i think i'm finding myself pretty lucky not being able to come up with 'unpopular' headcanons - guess I've avoided a lot of drama :D

For this game (and please ignore the typos. keyboard is still acting up)

[spnficsoutofboredom]

Finally got around to writing more. This part is shorter than the others. It only has 708 words versus the 1000+ the others have. I hope you still enjoy it :)

Also, if you have any recommendations feel free to message me or ask me!

Part 5

Sam, Dean , and Cas all stood there as the door blasted up, revealing 3 angels. They all had angel blades in there hands, ready to fight themselves.

“We don't want to hurt anyone, especially you Castiel.” One of the angels spoke in the doorway, slightly stepping into the hotel room.

“Then what is the purpose of this?” Sam questioned back.

“There are a lot of reasons. For starters, humans and angels can’t be together!” The same angel spoke. “Its-its not natural and always ends badly.”

“Either end the relationship or we will hunt you down until one or both of you are dead!” Another angel spoke.

“Lets fight then, because I’m not running from you anymore” Cas said to them. “I’m happy, can’t you see that. I never admitted how I felt towards Dean because I knew the risk. I knew what would have happened if I did! I don’t care anymore, so if you want me dead” Cas said as he threw his knife on the floor. “If you really want me dead, you can just kill me now, no fight.”

“Cas, don’t be stupid” Dean said to him.

Cas turned around and smiled back at Dean.

The angel, who appeared to be the leader of the group, slowly stepping up to Cas, drawing up his blade, ready to plunge it into his chest. He was interrupted by someone’s voice.

“Hey!” he turned around to find one of his companions with their own blade drawn, stabbed him right in the heart.

“Joseph, what the hell!” the last remaining angel spoke to him. “You can’t just-“

He was cut off by Joseph walking up to him, stabbing him in his abdomen, killing him instantly.

“Uh-so” Dean said bringing his right hand to his head, scratching it, with a confused look on his face. “What just happened?” he finished bringing his hand back down.

“Obviously as you just heard from my fellow brother, I am Joseph.” He spoke.

“Why did you do that, Joseph? You just ruined your life” Cas told him, sounding sympathetic but also confused.

“What you said, it really got to me. You’re right. What the hell does it matter, you’re happy and that's all that should matter.” He said back to all three of them. “Listen, you guys should get out of here before any one else shows up.”

Sam first exited the hotel room, grabbing the keys to the car and making his way out of the hotel. Cas followed Sam to the car and got in the back seat of the Impala. Dean was walking out the door when he paused and turned around.

“Thank you” he said to Joseph.

Joseph responded with a slight nod and smile to show his appreciation.

“So, where to? Back to the bunker?” Cas asked.

“I mean, the bunker is predictable. What about the cabins Bobby had placed around for all the hunters to crash when they need to?” Sam responded back.

Dean tilted his head, slightly agreeing with Sam.

“What state?” Dean said.

“Got it.” Sam shot up, snapping his finger. “Florida. We can make this the vacation we have always wanted.”

“I’m down. Cas, you in?” Dean said, looking into the back seat.

“Absolutely” he replied back, following with a big smile.

“Wait can’t angel track you or something?” Sam said before they headed their way to Florida.

“Pull over” Cas said.

Cas got out of the car which followed Sam and dean to promptly exit as well.

“Cas what are yo-“ Dean was interrupted by Cas placing one hand on his chest and the other on Sam.

“Seriously? That again?” Dean said.

“It’s the only thing we can do. If we put angel warding’s I’ll be blocked out as well, branding you was the only thing I could think of” Cas told Sam and Dean.

“Yeah, didn’t think of that. This way we can be together” Dean replied back.

Dean and Cas stood there staring at each other when they heard Sam clear his throat.

Dean slowly look at Sam, giving him a death stare.

“What? I was uncomfortable” Sam laughed uncontrollably.

Dean rolled his eyes as the all returned back to the car, heading off, not knowing what to expect.

[rowancoms]

I know that this isn’t the time to clown but it also is and here’s why this shitty sounding prequel could, number one, be good— and number two, lead to destiel saga part two!! Because we all want to talk about it and I KNOW WE DO!!

Reason number one!!

Dean, a forty year old (and as of now dead) man that knows only bits and pieces of what truly happened with his parents is narrating an ENTIRE story of how his parents fell in love?? And apparently saved the world?? What the fuck.

Honestly I don’t think we’re paying much attention to this little detail?? Like guys?? It’s not JENSEN ACKLES narrating the story of John and Mary Winchester, it’s DEAN WINCHESTER narrating the story of his PARENTS. How is it going to happen?? Are we going to see Dean?? Are we going to get any background info on WHY Dean is narrating the story?? And, hey isn’t Dean in heaven with his little brother? Couldn’t he be randomly telling all of this shit to little Sammy? The answer to that question is a big no, because

Jared Padalecki has nothing to do with the show.

This is big, guys. This is extremely, EXTRAVAGANTLY big. This means that in Jensen’s eyes, Sam GOT his ending. Sam got his ending in Jared’s eyes, too, which would all be fine and dandy, except, as we all know, Jensen was never really, truly happy with Dean’s “ending”, was he? And I know, you’re probably thinking, hey, isn’t this about John and Mary? And how those shitbags fell in love?? We don’t care about that??? And, on the surface, yes, that generalization of it sounds like absolute hot garbage. It sounds absolutely terrible.

But we have to go DEEPER than John and Mary to actually see how this could have potential, guys, so bare with me on this one, okay? Let’s go deeper than Jensen, and Daneel, and the shit going on with Jared, and all of that crap that’s brewing on the first layer. I’ll get into that in a second, but first,

Where is Misha in all of this?

We all saw Misha’s tweet.

You know, this one. And I’m just saying, JUST SAYING that Misha didn’t HAVE to write ANYTHING about Cas in that tweet. I’m not saying that Misha knows what’s up, of course, but I’m also totally completely saying that Misha knows what’s up. We’ve all seen what’s going on with JARED at the moment, and it’s not pretty, but unlike Jared, Misha didn’t say ANYTHING that even lead us to BELIEVE that he was, in any way, surprised. And, hey, didn’t I ask before about Dean’s knowledge of all of this in the first place??? Misha not only tweeted about Cas being in the show— even if it was a joke, or dare I say meant to be played off as one—but he was ODDLY specific about that time traveling thing. And, as far as we know, Cas is out of the empty and working on heaven, right?? You know who just HAPPENS to be in heaven, and is also a confirmed character?? Do I even need to say it???

It’s Dean, guys.

Am I painting a picture?

No? Well,

Let’s think about this in terms of the canon Supernatural universe and what we know so far.

What do we know about all of this John and Mary bullcrap?

Here’s the thing: we know almost just as much as Dean does, and Dean is the narrator of the story. So why in the ever loving WORLD would Jensen even THINK to make an entire series about all of the shit we’ve already seen? Obviously, Dean is PROBABLY going to be finding out more and more about his parents as we go along with the story, right?

And a very big, very unavoidable detail about Dean’s parents is that they were CANONICALLY forced together by fucking ANGELS. They’re not going to make a prequel of supernatural without SUPERNATURAL, and leaving out the Angel bit in the show would be not only stupid, for one thing, but it would also create a very gaping wormhole in the original timeline, so the writers are going to have to be really careful if they don’t want to undo the seams of the entirety of the supernatural universe as it stands.

I might sound crazy, okay, but I truly and honestly believe that Jensen knows what he’s doing. Dean didn’t have to be a part of this story whatsoever, but he is, and that counts for something, doesn’t it? Nobody said that this was going to be a story glorifying John, or Mary, or anybody. This idea has potential, a whole lot of it, and I’m actually interested to see where it goes. We’re not rolling with Kripke anymore. We’re not rolling with Dabb, or Buckleming, or even Jared, who is as of right now starting an entire riot on Twitter like a five year old. We’re not rolling with any of those other idiots that spend their time off writing wincest fics in their basement. We’re rolling with Jensen, and Daneel, and the people that they TRUST to tell the story of John and Mary, and the people that they TRUST to carry Dean’s character. We should trust them too, shouldn’t we????

[emotionallyits2009]

deancas fic rec list!

hello everyone! happy christmas to those who celebrate it, my gift to you is my fic rec list that i said i would make like a month ago. the only thing it is organized by is canonverse vs alternate universe. tried to cover a variety of subjects but there are in particular many fics of the genre “postcanon where cas is human and he and dean live together and slowly finally get their shit together” because i know what i’m about, son. HOPE U ENJOY. and if you wanna talk about any of them or rec me other fics please do. :) 

Canonverse:

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo, 30k, explicit “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.” There are many fics set in a post-canon universe where Cas is human and he and Dean live together and slowly fall into a relationship. Imo this one is the best of the best of that genre. This was one of the first fics I read back in July when I was getting Back Into Supernatural where I was like oh fuck I’m like in this. Dean builds Cas planters and bookshelves and a chicken coop and they fight and work through it.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits, 10k, explicit For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. Really Gets the dynamic of Cas doesn’t think Dean wants him to stay/Dean thinks Cas will leave the first chance he gets. Also a nice example of Cas thinking he’s not wanted if he’s not useful/powerful and being told otherwise. Another all-time fave!

lonely hearts by outphastthemoat, 4.5k, gen He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead. This one is for the CAS GIRLS who know what LONELINESS feels like.

Helionneiros by aeli_kindara, 24.2k, mature In which Dean visits his mother, and Claire takes Cas on a hunt. I’m always on the lookout for more fic with Claire and Jack. Jack doesn’t show up until the end here but the relationship between Cas and Claire is really nice.

Crawl by aeriallon, 11k, explicit It’s been almost four years since Castiel left Kansas; he'd eventually settled in an island town where he has a job, a house, and a life without the Winchesters. Every winter, Dean drives down to the coast to see him. Another fic where Cas is human but in this one he took some time for himself and got some distance from the Winchesters! He gets to be competent and weird as a human and we love that for him. I must warn you all that this fic contains one use of the phrase “making love” which would normally put me right off but it’s still worth reading. The first of a three-part series.

home where you hold me by microcomets, 1.6k, gen Cas and Dean, in the moments between their battles, ache for quiet spaces. Technically this is a coda to 10x20 but you don’t need the episode for context. Short and very sweet.

Build a Home by domesticadventures, 20.1k, teen After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t. This one is so cute it’s like what if once they were done saving the world Sam and Dean actually invited other hunters to move into the bunker with them. Obviously Dean wants that to include Cas but doesn’t know how to use his words.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo, 22.4k, explicit This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. Angst fic! They go on a road trip and Dean is severely fucked up post-Mark of Cain.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon, 8.6k, explicit No one ever tells Dean anything. Another nice getting-together fic.

Creature of Habit by trinityofone, 5.2k, teen The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well. This one is ancient by destiel standards (written during season 5) but it manages to nail the married couple vibes they give off in later seasons. Cas is a bitch and Dean likes him so much. <3

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by Tuesday, 11.2k, mature Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this. Another old one that is a lot of fun! They get Accidental Angel Married and if you don’t enjoy dumb fanfiction tropes like that I don’t know what to say to you.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi, 4k, teen In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything. The OTHER accidental angel marriage fic written in 2010. 

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord, 24.8k, explicit A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there. At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history. Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe. Time travel is FUN. There’s an excellent part where (minor spoilers) future!Dean is like, “Guess what, asshole? You like me so much you marry me!!!!!!!!!!!” to 2008!Castiel that made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. Also just a good reminder of how most problems in life are temporary and if you could go back in time to talk to your younger self you’d be like, “Hey man. Chill out. You get through it.”

The Path of Fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, mature After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years. There’s a lot of amnesia fic and djinn fic out there were Dean wakes up ~suddenly together with Cas~ but I like this one in particular because he’s initially very confused and kind of a dick about it until he acknowledges that being with Cas makes him happy.

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden, 95k, explicit Three months ago, when Dean decided to retire, he thought his life was going to end up differently. He'd thought that he might get to have it all, Sam, Cas, Jack, and nice little place to live. Instead he gets Sam and Jack off on their Summer of Love Tour, radio silence from Cas, and a never-ending road trip consisting of himself. Still reeling from the loss of his grace, Castiel travels the country in search of hunts. Driven by a need to prove his usefulness, he pushes himself beyond all limits of endurance. Together, with the help of a few friends, a crumbling Victorian house, and a stray cat, Dean and Castiel patch themselves back together and create a home together. Do you wanna read almost one hundred thousand words of Dean and Cas having extremely intense feelings but refusing to voice them aloud? Haha of course you do that’s why you’re here. There’s also a lot about Cas adjusting to being human and being depressed about it which might resonate if you’ve ever felt weird about having a body. To be honest the author could stand to use a few more commas but there were also half a dozen moments that made me put my phone down and drag my hand slowly over my face and whisper “oh my god” to myself which is like, the ultimate measure of a good fanfiction so it gets to be on the list.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers, 31.6k, explicit dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas. Have you seen the fanon (apparently pioneered by Mr. Jackles “Original Deankin” Ackles himself) that Dean used to prostitute himself to feed himself and Sam when they were younger? Are you interested in exploring that concept in fanfiction? Well, this is the only fic you need. Mind the tags on this one! It’s not what I’d call happy but it’s good.

Some Assembly Required by narrow_staircases, 47k, mature It’s September of 2005, and Dean Winchester, in an attempt to outrun old mistakes and painful memories, finds himself in southern Kentucky on a wild goose chase. He’s completely certain this weird religious movement he’s “investigating” is a hoax, despite the miraculous healings people report, and he’ll be back on the road in a day or two. Things are looking up when he meets Cas, an awkward (and gorgeous) graduate student who’s actually doing honest-to-god research into the local tent revival meetings. When that research takes a weird and personal turn, Dean’s left to face two very serious realities: one, this may be a real case after all, and two, he’s fallen way harder for Cas than he should ever have let himself. Stanford-era AU of Dean trying to avoid his father and getting in over his head on a case.

Alternate universe:

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets, 57k, mature Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The  professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen. Mundane AUs in this fandom have to be really, really good to catch my attention and this one is! It’s exactly what it says in the summary and the characterization is spot-on. 

Out to Drift by deathbanjo, 20.9k, mature Dean drives a black car with a loud engine. He lies too easily. He keeps a gun in the back of his jeans, and Castiel isn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean has killed someone before. Two people in fucked-up unstable situations meeting and forming a connection. Honestly guys I really just love deathbanjo.

[astermacguffin]

Okay. I warn y'all that this is very much a Poast™. This is another one of Those Poasts™. You have been warned.

I very much blame (affectionate) @autisticandroids for this, since this is pretty much me trying to combine as many concepts as possible from the #mpregpocalypse tag.

In this au, Cas is pretty much just collecting babies left and right. The following stuff are all simultaneously true in this spn mpreg rewrite:

- Cas absorbs the deanlisa baby and carries the child himself. This is his first pregnancy. This is also the most "monstrous" of his children because of the godstiel stuff and the leviathans.

- For maximum effect, I don't want Cas to give birth just yet. I want Benny to see Cas with the baby bump and put the dots together in his head. I want Cas to give birth alone, after Dean and Benny already went through the rift. I want Naomi to take Cas out of purgatory and leave his child alone there. I want Cas to grieve for the loss of his child when he remembers. (We'll go back to this in the future.)

- Dean fucks Casifer at one point and impregnates Cas' body. (I mean, with Casifer peeling off his layers and thotting up the place while in the bunker? Not surprising tbh.) NOTE. I wanna be clear with something: this baby is Dean and Lucifer's nephil. I mean, biologically it's a Destiel baby, but with Cas' grace growing weaker and him being possessed by Lucifer, in terms of grace this is pretty much Lucifer's nephil. (But also not??? Because what allowed the conception to happen in the first place is Cas wanting it SO BAD.)

- No one else notices the conception of this baby because Cas hides it within himself (the same way he did with the deanlisa baby) and pauses the pregnancy at will.

- When Cas meets Kelly, they are very much BOTH pregnant with Lucifer's kid. Remember that screenshot where they both look pregnant and bonding about their babies? Yeah, this is inspired by that. When Cas touches Kelly's baby bump and they like soulbond or whatever, Kelly looks at him and goes "oh you're pregnant too?"

- Cas tells him that it's Dean's child, but leaves out the Lucifer part. They already have one Lucifer nephil in danger, he doesn't need anyone else knowing this secret (especially since he hid the nature of this child so well for so long). Kelly thinks he's hiding it because of the Dean part.

- They both know Kelly's not gonna survive giving birth, so they already have a plan: Cas will transfer the pregnancy to himself when it's almost time for Jack to come out (the same way he did with the deanlisa baby). Cas is confident that he'll survive what Kelly cannot. (His hubris, of course, always tend to bite him back.) Dean, Mary, and Sam arrive just in time to see Cas pregnant and about to give birth. Kelly catches them up on the plot.

- Cas dies of childbirth due to an unexpected complication: the pregnancy transfer triggers the birth of the other child inside him, which makes him give birth to TWO children. The strength of the explosion unfortunately kills both him and Kelly, rendering Cas' sacrifice as pointless. (As much as I wanna keep Kelly alive, the point of this au is to inflict as much damage as possible)

- Lucifer and Mary still get stuck in Apocalypse world, and now Dean and Sam have to care for TWO children, one of which is Jack (who still grows quickly) and...another baby? They have no idea who the fuck this baby is until they find two videos: one made by Kelly and one by Cas (a backup plan they made just in case one or both of them don't survive).

- In the video, Cas reveals that the child is his and Dean's nephil (again, removing the Lucifer part). Dean just takes it in stride (since they had enough sex in the later seasons for it to be a genuine possibility) and takes Cas's word.

- In any other scenario, Sam would definitely be teasing Dean for impregnating Cas. But since Cas is dead and they're still grieving, he shelves this conversation for a future time. (With so much plot happening, Sam never finds the right chance and eventually just forgets it. He's just happy that he was right all along.)

- They agree to never let anyone else learn about the baby's nature, which the baby seems to understand as well, choosing to not manifest any angelic abilities. In fact, the baby internalized Cas' instructions to keep all their secrets under wraps that the kid goes selectively mute throughout the series. (I wanna see Eileen teaching ASL to the kid.)

- The two babies scenario works great for two reasons: it satisfies my "give Dean a baby" instinct (that pretty much drives my baby jack truthing) while still keeping Jack the way that he is in canon.

- Dean lets the baby rest on Cas' chest for a short while before wrapping Cas up with the curtains. Both Dean and the baby cry over the body.

- I want to give Jack as many Problems Disorders in this au. I want him to be jealous of the way Dean treats his twin (because they're pretty much twins, right? They have the same grace-father, they got birthed by the same body, so yeah).

- Dean treats the baby with as much care and love while still treating Jack like shit. Sam once calls him out on it and says "Dean, they're both Cas' children." Dean throws out an "I can hardly look at the freak" rant. Jack wakes up Cas from the Empty, yada yada.

More fucked up shit below the cut:

- I wanna keep this as close to canon as I can, so Dean would still exhibit suicidality before Tombstone. You would think that the baby would at least hinder this instinct, but he genuinely believes that he's poison and that everyone he touches dies. (And besides, Sam is good with both Jack and the baby so they won't need me anymore, right?)

- Cas comes back, and things mostly stay the same as in canon (except there's now a baby there, who honestly won't influence much of the plot until later). Dean never really apologized that much to Jack in canon (and I still hate it) but in this au, it would work perfectly. I want Jack to believe that Dean still sees him as a freak, even if he's a bit nicer now that Cas is back. (I can and will put my entire pussy into the Dean-as-John, Jack-as-Sam parallels.)

- When Jack kills Mary, Cas hides it from Dean and Sam. We're going full Torturewife on this one, folks.

- Jack's truth spell forces Cas to confess that (1) Cas hid the fact about Jack's soullessness; (2) Cas lied about Jack killing Mary, and; (3) the Destiel baby is technically a Dean/Lucifer nephil. Chaos fucking ensues.

- Dean has to confront the fact that both of the kids (HIS kids) are Lucifer's spawn.

- Chuck doesn't really care about the baby since it never manifested any powers (yet), unlike Jack (who is a genuine threat to him).

- Moriah happens, Jack dies. (And it's even more fucked up now because despite being soulless, Jack remembers all the insecurities he got from Dean. The "It's okay, I understand" line Jack says to Dean while having a gun pointed to him is sooooooo.) Rupture happens, their divorce is finalized and Cas takes custody of the baby.

- Cas having some father-child bonding with the baby as a breather between all this fucked up stuff.

- The Trap happens, they make up, and oh? Who's this person who helped Cas escape and get the flower? It's the deanlisa baby, but now grown! Together with Emma! She was thankfully found by her big sister, Emma, when she was a baby in purgatory. She had to grow up fast and now they survive together.

- After eating Eve in order to save Cas, the deanlisa child is now technically the new Mother of monsters. Dean explains the Chuck problem, so the two choose to come with them to help.

- Cas never really explained the deanlisa baby, huh? When they get back with their now grown child (and Emma, who doesn't really hold a grudge over the entire Sam killing her thing) and Cas explains, Dean is baffled but takes it in stride. I mean, they just made up! He doesn't wanna fight with him anymore and he wants the family together again!

- They make the two stay with the baby so they'll be safe in the bunker while they try to trap Chuck with the Mark of Cain spell. It fails, of course. (But hey, at least there was sibling bonding time in the bunker.)

- Billie brings back Jack and they formulate a plan (Billie doesn't go evil in this one btw.) They strengthen Jack, Jack knows that he'll be a bomb and is totally fine with it. "Maybe if I do this one good thing, Dean won't see me as a freak anymore." Remember, Jack internalized a lot of the shit Dean said.

- Cas attempts to call out the self-sacrificial bullshit and that Dean actually loves him, but Jack insists. "You would do the same! In fact, you have done the same! (In reference to the Empty deal, which still happens here btw.) I'm just learning from all of you." If there's one thing I'm obsessed about in fics, it's when Jack calls them out for learning martyrdom from team free will.

- Dean finds out about the plan and tries to talk Jack out of it. They have a heart-to-heart, Dean finally fucking apologizes for all the complexes that he's given Jack, and Jack (for the first time) finally believes that Dean doesn't see him as a monster anymore. Jack stops the process so he doesn't become a bomb (but at least he's stronger than he was before).

- They call Billie to come up with an alternative plan. She considers the options, and says an alternative plan would be harder and would require more players in the field. "As long as we don't have to sacrifice any of our loved ones anymore, we're good," Dean says. "I don't think that's an easy request, but we'll try," Billie says, giving a pointed look at Cas. (Hmmmm, wonder how this would come to play later?)

- Billie points out that the destiel baby is in fact not powerless, but is instead choosing to supress their own power. If the child can be convinced to unlock their own capabilities, then perhaps they might stand a better chance at winning.

- They spread out to gather more allies: Sam goes to Rowena, Dean goes to Michael, Billie goes to Gabriel (yes, he's alive here), and the kids stay in the bunker with Cas to try and explore each other's abilities. (Since I hated the Michael-Lucifer nonsense of 15x19, none of that happens here. Lucifer doesn't go back and Michael doesn't betray them.)

- Jack finds out that he can push out all the energy he gathered for the bomb into a one-time-use blast. They find out that the baby can apparently enhance the power of whoever they're holding. And the new Eve apparently has traces of Godstiel/Leviathan still in her after being in the womb with them. (She also spends the time catching up with Cas because they've not seen each other for years.) Emma is just vibing there, adoring her powerful younger siblings and interrogating her father's...husband? Boyfriend? Ex? (She's still confused about their status.)

- This goes just like in S11, and they go all out and attack Chuck together until he's weak enough for Death's scythe. There's one shot where the kids are just holding hands to power each other for Jack to deliver a fatal blow. Billie is just around the corner, ready for the final blow, when Cas turns to Dean.

- "Dean, I need to say something." Cue the 15x18 confession scene, except this time Dean knows about the deal now. So the moment Dean realizes what Cas is doing, he tries to stop him.

- "Stop, please stop. Don't say it, you don't have to say it." Because of course, happiness is in just being, it's in just saying it. And Dean knows what true happiness would do.

- But unfortunately, Cas has to do it. (Billie talked to him about it, and her scythe won't exactly do a clean job with something as powerful as a Chuck-Amara hybrid. I don't know when or why they fused together since the bomb plan was cancelled, but it happened here okay? Yeah. So they need something that is guaranteed to be older and greater than God or the Darkness—the Empty. Billie can only go there, but she can't summon it to be on Earth. Enter Cas' deal.)

- Cas says "I love you," Dean reciprocates, they share a final kiss, and then Billie finally reaps God. The Empty arrives to take Chuck, and Cas shares one final moment with his kids before accepting his fate.

- Billie goes to the Empty to make sure the job was done, and she finally gives the Shadow the sleep that she promised. She uses her scythe on the Shadow, because death is the final slumber. (Of course, you can't exactly kill nothingness; she only destroyed an embodiment/personification of the Empty.)

- Post-fight. They're happy because Chuck is finally defeated but also...Cas. Before they even have the chance to process what the fuck just happened, Billie is back and she has Cas with her. "I just put the Shadow into sleep, so it's not like anyone would notice," she says. The problem is that Cas is still very much asleep. (He still has some grace here btw. Maybe he's not at full angel anymore, but he's not fully human either. There wasn't a need to cut out his grace without warning.)

- Dean and the kids crowd Cas' body. The baby's touch on Cas's shoulder (which burns a mark that parallels Dean's) is what wakes him up. Reunion kiss!

- Happy ending! Michael (with Adam) goes back to heaven to fix things, and they are very much implied to be a couple. Midam rights babyyyyyy! Gabriel goes back to roaming the world and occasionally visits the kids.

- Sam and Eileen organizes a hunter's network and organizes a bunch of safety protocols and rehabilitation projects with the help of the new Eve (which most monsters obey, key word most). Oh, and Saileen definitely swings regularly with Rowena (and occasionally with Gabriel when he's around).

- Emma decides that she likes hanging out with the Wayward Sisters better (and you know what? Good for her). The new Eve decides to hang out there often as well (whenever she isn't busy with monster diplomacy or something).

- When Jack finally feels safe and peaceful enough, he reverts back to his child form. The baby, who has been selectively mute this entire time, holds their brother's face in recognition and utters their first word, which is "JACK!" Dean and Cas cry in joy over this entire exchange. (That's his twin! He missed his twin!)

- They move out of the bunker to get their own house by a lake or something. Whenever the topic of pregnancy comes up again ("Dean, when do you want another baby again?"), they can now playfully joke about it and Dean says something like "Don't steal someone else's baby again, okay? The next baby to be inside you needs to be mine." They're both stupidly horny about the subject, I hate them so much.

- Whenever there's an important event, they all celebrate it in the bunker for the extra space (because their family is, indeed, very large). END.

There's something poetic to me about the Empty being the one that beats Chuck in this mpreg rewrite because technically, the Empty is the Original Womb that gave birth to God. It it the nothingness of potential, the dark water of pregnant beginnings.

All this talk about the Empty and stuff also made me stop and think about the metaphysics of spn. The fact that the Darkness and the Empty are two distinct entities says something interesting about the metaphysical reality of spn. It doesn't treat darkness as a mere absence of light, a mere nothingness, but rather a thing/substance of its own. It's a very Manichean kind of metaphysics as opposed to a Platonic/Neoplatonic one. (Oh, St. Augustine would probably have a blast trying to unravel whatever the fuck is happening with spn.)

The fact that it's also Cas' free will that brought upon God's demise? Delicious.

(If you're still reading, congratulations for finishing my very long spn mpreg rewrite. Why did you do this to yourself tho.)

(also apologies if I didn't give a name to Jack's siblings. I haven't thought of a good name for them just yet)

[ugh-againwiththenames]

So Many Fanfics So Little Time

This is just my list, I have seen so many (but if you want to use it it’s all yours too!).  I’m not a writer.  But I am a hell of a reader. Voracious one might argue. I just wanted to track my progress through the weeds of the absolutely never ending supply of Destiel and Cockles fanfic. 

Read on if you want to see what I’ve read, and what I’ve thought. I am but one person with opinions - some of them may be unpopular - some of them you might agree with, but if you find something you haven’t read here, I encourage you to do so. 

Honestly, this is just so I can track what I have read already, and when my friends ask, I can reference something easily. I have found some different fics on all kinds of ‘best of’ lists all over the interwebs. And I love recs - so rec away friends. 

As someone who reads a solid 40 novels a year typically, I don’t come by the “I read a lot” innocently. I do actually read a LOT.  When not reading fanfic (a new obsession, all things being fair), I usually read a lot of Fantasy/high fantasy, romance/erotica, and or YA (yeah, that was a bit of a ride no?).  So from this one might digress that I like fluffy, cute stories, complicated and supernatural/paranormal type stories, and I sure do not shy away from violence or smut (or maybe violence with smut? *smirk*). 

I have read all of these in the last 2-3 months (I will continue to add as I go). I had never read a fanfic until 2-3 months ago.  A lot of these wonderful people are on here, and I mean you no offence by not directly tagging you - I’m still learning how to actually properly use this site. Links to AO3 are included (and I love you all). 

These aren’t necessarily in any real order - I did read T&S first, followed by 91W, and 4LW...after that it’s just a shit show of Long or Short, Destiel or Cockles - smorgasbord. Some of these are the most popular Fics out there, and others I’ve never seen recc’d anywhere (just sort of accidentally happened upon them).  So let’s get to it, shall we? 

Twist and Shout - ok look. I understand the stigma associated with this one, but it was the FIRST one I read. It was the ball that shot me down the hill, and I haven’t stopped since. So. I loved it. I CRIED like a baby. SOBBED. It was not the quality of the writing but the way the story was developed and delivered. I have Never Cried Like This Reading a Story IN MY LIFE. It’s a rite of passage. Read It and have an opinion - it doesn’t need to be mine.  

Author(s): gabriel, standbyme   https://archiveofourown.org/works/537876/chapters/955188

Ninety-One Whiskey - aka 91W, it is mentioned so much, and is SO worth the read.  I continued my dive into the war fics (not typically my bag really and here I was reading 2 in a row).  There are a couple of followup stories as well to this series (and yes, I’ve read them all).  Although I’ll say that the original is my favourite. I often got lost in a bit of the War/Tactical descriptions, but would recommend it to anyone anyway. Ugh...the “stolen moments”...they were at the same time tragic and the most amazing things ever.  You feel me? no? go read it. 

Author:  komodobits   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2362190/chapters/5214500

Four Letter Word for Intercourse - aka 4LW.  OMG just, OMG. I loved this story. I loved it so much. I think I read it in a day.  Devoured it. It’s so HOT. Just read it. If you haven’t you’re missing out.  LEMME AT IT. I loved “knowing the secret”, and had some major anxiety about that realization dawning (I had to take a breath, and be like, no, no, this is gonna be a mess, but it’s gonna be SO GOOD - I was not disappointed).  There’s more than one work here too - read them all. PLEASE. 

Author: bendingsignpost  https://archiveofourown.org/works/16086839/chapters/37568591

Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You) - This was the first Sobs one I read, but it sent me on a spree.  this is the Memory Loss one.  I have one piece of advice here - read everything by Sobsicles. You can thank me later...just go to her page, and fucking sort to supernatural (or not, read it all!) I’d list them but I’d fucking seriously be here all day.  Also, her tags make me laugh so hard.

Author:  sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Orpheus - I love this one too, Tattooed!Cas, my LOVE. paired with Mechanic!Dean, my HEART, #help.  Read this one in one evening as well. (I was on a roll).  It’s a one night stand that turns into more (much like my last relationship)....hmm...maybe this is why I was pulled in - although to be fair that is the last similarity to my shitty love life! I do not remember how I stumbled onto this one (tattooed Cas may have been the draw...tbh). Read the warnings though, there is some triggering stuff in this one - but if you can handle it, it’s definitely worth the read. 

Author: sysrae       https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364347/chapters/5220227

Have Love, Will Travel - Can you say no to Stripper!Dean? Cause I sure as hell cannot. Typical sort of character development here with Dean having trust issues, and Cas being painfully awkward...(but in like a super cute way?).  Would Recommend. 

Author: squeemonster   https://archiveofourown.org/works/565455/chapters/1011747

The Inexhaustible Silence of Houses - Change of pace here...It’s got a nice twist.  I didn’t actually clue into how it was going to end until very near the end (maybe I was being oblivious), when the realization came over me and I was...man. I was DONE IN.  I hope that doesn’t spoil (I need some kind of way of remembering them). Voiceless!Cas Hunter!Dean

Author: Askance (doomcountry)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/560268/chapters/1000755

Adagio - This is super short, and super cute. Honestly, I would read the whole thing just for the last line. It’ll take you less than an hour if I remember correctly. Go, I’ll wait. I squeeed. did you? 

Author: noangelsinthegarrison   https://archiveofourown.org/works/1397248/chapters/2928145

Any Little Heartache - super easy read (not in a bad way, but in a ‘you’ll fly through it’ way).  It’s mid-length, not graphic, but really fun hospital AU. HeartSurgeon!Dean / Nurse!Cas - enemies to lovers anyone? Fuck you to Fuck me? yeah. YUM. 

Author: followthattardis https://archiveofourown.org/works/5143376/chapters/11838311

Ad Astra - This is another short(ish) one, just one chapter.  And by that I mean that this is written like a very long poem. Cas as a star who has visited Dean many times over the years of his life, that culminates in 4x01 barn scene. It’s ‘awe’ sad. ‘puppy dog eyes’ sad. The writing format took me a bit to understand what was happening - it’s my lack of poetry knowledge, not the writing.  

Author: nhixxie https://archiveofourown.org/works/1013491

Ad Astra Per Aspera - This is a cute story.  ESL writer, no judgement.  I found this while looking for the one above, and thought the premise looked cute - and it was. Misunderstanding leading to Dean realizing he’s actually Bi.  Miscommunication leading to realization.  

Author: Riverchester https://archiveofourown.org/works/12354336/chapters/28101816

Psalm 40:2 - Time travel post-canon Cas and Pre-series Dean.  If you’re wondering how that works, strap in for this ride, it’s well worth it. 

Author: unicornpoe https://archiveofourown.org/works/30786425/chapters/75992444

Addicted to You - Warlock!Dean/Incubus!Cas - accidental ‘mating’ (I actually really don’t like that word, but there’s sort of no avoiding it in this situation). Cute story.  When you drunk dial a succubus and get an incubus instead...Whatever will we do? 

Author: Ltleflrt https://archiveofourown.org/works/4387346/chapters/9959288 

A Glimpse Beyond - End Fix-it. Not yet complete, 10 chapters so far...I want MORE! Reliving memories Dean/Cas & Sam/Eileen.   

Author: NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731689/chapters/67875925

Cas-ti-el - Please I want more...It’s like the story just started. Please write more of this story!! 1 chapter, it’s a trope prompt challenge, but I want it to be a full on story of its own. Imprinted names of their soul mates, Dean doesn’t understand his (because it’s in a different language)...I’m frustrated by wanting this story to keep going. 

Author:  Valinde (Valyria)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/1941591

Our Bodies, Posessed by Light - another short one. Not going to lie, this one took a little getting used to, and I can’t say that I enjoyed it too much for the sole purpose that the premise gave me the willies.  Cas has to vessel jump - ends up in Sam...I got through it, it had a good ending, but yeah, sorry. This just wasn’t for me. 

Author:  obstinatrix  https://archiveofourown.org/works/260289

Peanut Butter Pumpkin Wedding Cake - Waiter!Dean / Writer!Cas - This is so effing cute, just misunderstanding after misunderstanding bumbling around like the couple of dorks that they are. It’s only one chapter. 100% would recommend. 

Author:  Sparseparsley https://archiveofourown.org/works/223962

Destiel, Actually - This is another super cute story, 5 chapters. Gabriel playing a singular role in putting Dean and Cas in awkward positions to push them together.  I fucking DIED at “oh, I am the sub” - needs context, but I guarantee you that you’ll laugh out loud...

Author:  Bexism  https://archiveofourown.org/works/399934/chapters/658398

The Smell Before the Rain - This was my first A/B/O - a big apology to all those who are into mpreg and whatnot, this was my lesson that I am not. this was not for me. Also - I’m a firm Cas (Alpha/Dom) believer, and i’m good with switch Cas, but it’s hard for me to take him being the full Omega here, when paired with the rest I just couldn’t do it. I finished it, but, not my thing. I know now. 

Author: jscribbles https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355230/chapters/53406127

Crazy Diamonds - This is another short one, only 3 chapters - it’s a body swap for Dean, 4x02 him and 2018 him swap places (assumption that 2018 him is “with” Cas).  It’s a super cute little story. 

Author:  pantheon_of_discord https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151642/chapters/37738631

The Breath of All Things - Wheelchair!Dean / Volunteer!Cas.  This is a lovely story, typical Dean self-hatred etc. Triggering for those with suicide warnings. It had me in tears at the end. There’s a really spectacular quote near the end that I found so romantic I screen grabbed it. 

Author:  KismetJeska https://archiveofourown.org/works/994750/chapters/1967519

Kind of a Forever Deal - SummerCamp!AU This is just a really cute and fluffy summer camp AU.  Which is so different from 91W (That’s right, check the author)! I was a little disappointed with the ending, but otherwise really enjoyed this all the way through and was loving all the discovery and young characterizations of all the characters. 

Author: komodobits https://archiveofourown.org/works/999291/chapters/1978478

Everytown, USA - Best way I can break this one down? Wanderer!Dean (listless and without a place in the world, he ends up in a small town...), Twin!Cas (that leads to some fun things). There are a number of points where you’re gonna yell at Dean for doing stupid shit (that are very much in character for him to do), you think, well, yes, obviously you’re going to do that you silly fucking boy [affectionate]; but whyyy? (but we know). 

Author: aileenrose https://archiveofourown.org/works/1797559/chapters/3854836

Chalk and Chainmail - HighSchool!AU, Cas is an artist, Dean LARP’s - it’s cute and angsty. 

Author:  lemonsorbae https://archiveofourown.org/works/804704/chapters/1517551

A Little Patience - Ok. you want smut? This is your story. You want Kink? This is your story.  I actually did not finish this. It got a little carried away in my opinion. It was VERY panty kink oriented (which, while essentially canon isn’t really my kink) so, if you want that Panty Kink on full display? Go forth and enjoy! it  is thirty something chapters, I got to the mid-twenties I Think. 

Author: riseofthefallenone https://archiveofourown.org/works/1750058/chapters/3739232

Control - I REALLY ENJOYED THIS. Which is saying a lot for someone who has already admitted that a Subby Cas isn’t really my HC - so to so thoroughly enjoy a Sub!Cas story? (maybe it’s the tattooes...*wink*). It’s an AU where Cas is the head of a company - Dean is a callboy I guess, for lack of a better term. Just read it.

Author: dothraki_shieldmaiden  https://archiveofourown.org/works/31156601/chapters/76993217

More (I copy pasted the next lot from my google doc, I’ll flush them out later - no i wont...)

Teach Me (short) - movie night in the bunker, things get a little carried away   Author:  Chiyume  https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961327

You Light the Spark (in my bonfire heart) (short) - when cas doesn't realize that dean is unaware of his feelings, super short, super cute                      Author: noangelsinthegarrison https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193910 

Communication Breakdown (short/cockles) - dean ends up in Jensen's head while he films the confession scene, no sexual content Author: jujubiest   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Look What You Made Me Do (short/cockles) -      -  Vegas Con 2020 / jensen comes out with a song     - cute short - no sexual content Author:  green_blue_heller https://archiveofourown.org/works/30251592 Full House (short/cockles) - reimagined version of the rented house story - putting it in order (so to speak). funny / cute / fluffy not explicit   Author: n_nami  https://archiveofourown.org/works/30855827

Cyber Sex (short/cockles) - anastiel https://archiveofourown.org/works/31467086      - shameless post GISH Fest zoom call porn      - Short (very short)

It's Complicated (cockles) - gail_morgan https://archiveofourown.org/works/31434938/chapters/77747519       The GISHtake (short/cockles) - MellyCrazyCoconut https://archiveofourown.org/works/31508099     - cute short post GISH zoom     - oops "babe, really?"  

(10.02.2021 updated) Since last update: New reads - Fuck i’m gonna be here all day - there’s not gonna be as much gonna be NO detail in these breakdowns...sorry! This has now just become a “what i’ve read list” as opposed to a Rec list...

Love, All Alike (Pt. 1 Love, All Alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4555599/chapters/10370646                             - Though The Stars Walk Backward (pt 2 Love, All alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves

And this, your living kiss - opal_bullets   https://archiveofourown.org/works/18083927/chapters/42744872

Come On, Let's Strike a Match (Domination and Submission: a love story pt 1) - anyrei & queerwerewolf ***   https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722478/chapters/62458810    - Playing With Fire (D&S: a love story pt 2)    - We Kiss and the Flames Get Higher (D&S: a love story pt 3)     - Sparking That Old Flame (D&S: a love story pt 4) 

Cinderwings - bendingsignpost Cinderella!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847041/chapters/29336421

Linden - fleeceframe Swan!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33126730/chapters/82236118

No Netflix, No Chill (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764966

Can't Drink You Away (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28785792 

Jensen Totally (Does Not!) Snore (short RPF) - Dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30315717

Dean Ships It (short) - dorian_they   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30349434

All about control - wingless   https://archiveofourown.org/works/9151930/chapters/20791243

Aesthetics in Autoerotica (pt 1 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant   https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885544                                                             - The Ties that Bind (pt 2 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant

Let's take a drive - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32581027/chapters/80819581 

Enchanted ink - castielslostwings TattooArtist!Dean TattooArtist!Castiel AU ***   https://archiveofourown.org/works/23043622/chapters/55109530

The bones beneath our skin - darknessbound   https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633754/chapters/59515804

The Plot (RPF) - Castiel_Left_His_Mark_On_Me   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2795588/chapters/6274970

The Gentle Force with which you Take Me (RPF) - Phoenix_Ascended   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32110120/chapters/79549183

According to all known laws of Life (Pt. 1 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207901                                                          - and he's back (with a mind of his own) (pt. 2 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles

Six hundred sundays (and many more) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31158776

Aching in the Absence of you - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31832977/chapters/78811378

gorging myself on you, still can’t get full (insatiable) (Short) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32203291

memories bring back memories (bring back you) - sobsicles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Dream Come True (short) - bendingsignpost   https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071159

tall grass - aeli_kindara   https://archiveofourown.org/works/13127040/chapters/30030726

asunder (Short) - rageprufrock https://archiveofourown.org/works/62115

Apheresis - bendingsignpost BloodDonor!AU **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32674783/chapters/81056680

we always were but never knew it - frightfullyrude   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32698324/chapters/81119503

In this Louisiana Bar (Short) - fleeceframe   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31764487

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Alternate Universes - n_nami   https://archiveofourown.org/works/32687929/chapters/81092785

my heart a compass - lagaudiere https://archiveofourown.org/works/28629951

Unsound Inverses - sp8ce (not complete)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29836881/chapters/73413300

The Jensen Mistake (RPFish) - fellshish   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31950169

tell me about the dream (Pt. 1 Kids are coming home) - playedwright   https://archiveofourown.org/works/27984813/chapters/68544450

It's handy to know (FIMMF Themed ;)) - RosaMarloes   https://archiveofourown.org/works/31761322

So Says The Sword - komodobits AngelTrueform!AU**   https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597892/chapters/28695592

Communication Breakdown (RPFish)- darkshrimpemotions (jujubiest)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Carry You Home - Casloveshisfreckles   https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982637/chapters/65862916

In the Shadow of your Wings - Enochian Things (Salr323)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/7531294/chapters/17121655

When Harry Met Sally (RPF) (Pt. 1 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood   https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622347/chapters/17351845    - Eight Dildos (RPF) (Pt. 2 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood    - Attention, Please (RPF) (Pt. 3 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood             - Boat Trip (RPF) (Pt. 4 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood

A Winter's Tale - NorthernSparrow   https://archiveofourown.org/works/2654327/chapters/5930561

A Close Shave - NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/3090167

r/supernatural - renrub (short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/27626783

sam reads destiel fics - rebshome (short - funny!)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33721624

Angel Cookies - noxsoulmate Chirstmas!AU **  https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729640/chapters/26427765

Under The Midnight Sun - NorthernSparrow Arctic!AU **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/16690645/chapters/39143677

Bron-Yr-Aur - mrbluesky (Short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/28225335

The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet - saltyfeathers   https://archiveofourown.org/works/19258594/chapters/45800209

The Meaning On My Skin - saltnhalo   https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005378/chapters/42538133

Red Right Hand (Pt. 1 Murder Ballads)  - Duckyboos   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4306110/chapters/9760008    - Are you the One that I've been waiting for? (pt. 2 Murder Ballads) - Duckyboos   

Riptides - sharkfish   https://archiveofourown.org/works/13230426/chapters/30263556

Damn Fine Ride - Cimorene105 (pt 1 - rodeo) Cowboy!AU** (I’m a horse girl, sue me...)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14342340    - My Face Just Does This, Sometimes - Cimorene105 (pt. 2 rodeo)    - The Kinkiest Thing I've Ever Done- Cimorene105 (pt 3 rodeo)    - All Signs Point to Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 4 rodeo)    - Monster Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 5 rodeo)    - My Man, The Siren - Cimorene105 (pt. 6 rodeo)    - A Pain in My Ass - Cimorene105 (pt. 7 rodeo)

Astrolabe (terra incognita pt 1) - reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent   https://archiveofourown.org/works/3348812/chapters/7326794    - Drollery (terra incognita pt 2) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent    - Rubrication (terra incognita pt 3) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent

Go Down With This Ship - PorcupineGirl   https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023642/chapters/18370474

Fire and Ice - Castielslostwings (Firefighter/Paramedic AU!) **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/23286295/chapters/55768486

The Structural Similarities of Hunters and Onions - Faster_Than_the_Speed_of_Sound (Short)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/33383101

Castiel Novak's Office, This is Dean - emmbrancsxx0   https://archiveofourown.org/works/22411336/chapters/53545840

Out of the Deep (out of the deep pt. 1) - riseofthefallenone - MERMAID AU! **   https://archiveofourown.org/works/548878/chapters/977676

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx - pantheon_of_discord   https://archiveofourown.org/works/10909440/chapters/24256989

I'll Be Good - LittleAngelCassie   https://archiveofourown.org/works/4118334/chapters/9282234

Kenosis - CastielsCarma (Short - part of Destiel ABC collection)   https://archiveofourown.org/works/30411720

[curioussubjects]

come be a season 12 truther with me; or what if dean and cas got together offscreen

Originally, I wrote this post to celebrate “Galaxy Brain” airing as Berens & Glynn gave us “The Future.” It’s been a while since that episode aired, and some things have changed about this meta. As such, there are multiple versions of this post floating around, so make sure to go back to the source for the most up to date version.  For all intents and purposes, this post functions as a meta manifesto not unlike shipping manifestos from days of LJ past. In keeping with that tradition, this post is a close reading of Dabb Era Destiel in which I argue that by using narrative gaps, queer coding, and romance tropes, Dean and Cas are shown to be in an established relationship. Although beyond the scope of this post, it’s worth pointing out that keeping Destiel mostly off screen was a way for the creatives to bypass network censorship while still remaining true to the characters.

This post is divided into three sections. Section I focuses on giving an overview of why earlier seasons of Supernatural aren’t as compelling as season 12 as a turning point for Dean and Cas’s relationship. That said, special consideration is given to 09.06 “Heaven Can’t Wait” as a potential rest stop in our journey due to it’s significantly placed narrative gap as well as themes in the episode. However, this post isn’t going to examine season 9 trutherism in depth, though it does coexist with and allow for it. Section II analyses season 12 and proposes a timeline and justification for the shifting Destiel dynamic. Finally, Section III will offer an analysis of how Dean and Cas’s relationship has changed dramatically from previous seasons in a way that is most like the shift from a “will they or won’t they” pairing to an established one. 

Before I move to Section I, I’d like to note something this post takes for granted: Dean and Cas are the main romantic subplot of Supernatural, and, in fact, their relationship is elevated to main plot for both characters in season 15. This post won’t argue about the canonicity of Dean and Cas’s feelings for each other, therefore, and so won’t spend time looking at many Destiel defining moments. I’d also like to make clear that this post also takes for granted that Destiel is being intentionally developed by the writers starting with Carver’s Era, and more so in Dabb’s. 

I. Why Seasons 4 through 11 May Not be It

The tl;dr. here is that while there are many moments throughout these seasons that Dean and Cas could potentially get together, none of those moments are ideal for a bunch of reasons that can be summed up as really bad timing. I also think the narrative is actively pushing them towards a moment that works. We get plenty of stepping stones, especially once we hit seasons 8 through 11 (and 11 most of all).

Seasons 4 & 5:

I know there’s been a lot of get together fics over the years set in this time period, but I just don’t see it. Do I see them being intrigued and drawn to each other? Yes. Do I think either Cas or Dean would act on it? Nope. I’m not arguing anything re: Dean’s feelings, but with everything going at the time I find it hard to believe he’d pursue anything with his angel friend. Most importantly here, though, is that during this time Cas was still very alien and other. There was too much angel in him, and while he obviously came to care about Dean (and Sam) very much, I just can’t see him navigating the realm of human relationships. That said, seeing human!Cas in “The End” is the first we see of potential developments for how Cas could behave without his angelness interfering. Being human changes Cas a lot, beyond even his experience existing among humans, though that of course matters too. This development will be important later /wink.

Seasons 6 & 7:

Before anything else let me just recognize that if we could see some sexual tension in seasons 4 & 5, these two seasons come with our first taste of romantic tension. The pining! Also note the difference between season 4 Cas and season 6 Cas in terms of behaviour. He is much less the angel we saw in that barn in “Lazarus Rising.” In season 6, we have a Cas making misguided decisions guided entirely by his emotions – namely, not wanting to involve Dean with the war in heaven – which is peak human, honestly. Put a pin on how sad Dean is in both seasons with Cas’s absence. Finally, put a pin on this being our first moment of Cas doing things on his own to spare Dean and it not ending well (soulless!Sam, Cas “dying” after Leviathan) because this is *the* hurdle in their relationship (along with Dean’s lashing out and self-worth issues). With all this said, the marked distance between Dean and Cas in these seasons negates the possibility of them entering into any kind of relationship. Much like seasons 4 and 5, there’s too much going on.

Season 8:

Ah, yes, the summer of purgatory. If you thought we had pining before…! I think we’re all very clear on season 8 being a turning point for the show, not only because new showrunner, but we also get the bunker. TFW now has an HQ, which pretty soon becomes home. Yes, Baby will always be home, but the bunker becomes the *unmovable* safe haven that Baby couldn’t be. The bunker is a place to coalesce, and for all the amazing things Baby is, she is not that. The acquisition of the bunker marks a shift in the psychology of the show: with the stable home space we can start to imagine domesticity, a place to come home to, the stuff of ordinary living. Most of all, the bunker is emblematic of security, of safety –keep this in mind, as we go forward.

This season also continues to see Cas go down the path of independently solving his problems instead of asking for help from Sam and Dean (his family in a way heaven never was) – note that the better together issue is at play in different ways with Sam and Dean also, but I digress. I also want to point out disastrous instance #2 of Cas’s insistence on figuring it out on his own: he loses his grace, and the angels fall. As for Dean, season 8’s focus for him has much to do with Sam, and them coming face to face with their issues with codependency, which hit catastrophic levels with the gates of hell and Gadreel plots.

So despite all the deliciously angsty get together purgatory fics and spec, there’s too much distance between Dean and Cas on Cas’s part due to his guilt over betraying the Winchesters in s6 plus slaughtering angels plus unleashing Leviathan. We do see Dean being more emotionally open with Cas and continue to voicing his wish that Cas would just stay with him and Sam, and let them help. It’s clear as day how much Dean cares. The timing is still bad, though.

Before moving on to next season, let’s take a moment to appreciate that this is the season Dean admits being kinda done with one night stands because “always with the adios.” Remember the bunker as a sign of stability? Yeah. I wouldn’t say Dean is craving a relationship, exactly, but I think we can see that he does want something more (ahem also I’m nodding to Cas refusing to stay put just cause).

Seasons 9 & 10:

The most important thing to happen between this two seasons is Cas’s stint as a human for an extended period of time. There’s been plenty of spec and meta written over the years about the effects of being human on Cas’s grace (a proto-soul now maybe?). What we can say for sure, regardless, is that Cas is much more humanized once he becomes an angel again. The understanding he gets from being human doesn’t go away once he regains his angel powers. You’ll notice that while we still see some of season 4’s characterization, Cas is not the same as he was – he is alien to angels now and is more intelligible to humans. Additionally, in an interesting reversal from previous seasons, we now get to see the depth of Cas’s feelings for Dean (thanks, Metatron) as well as seeing him be more open emotionally, while Dean does most of the pushing away (first because of Gadreel, then because of the Mark of Cain). In short, the timing is still bad as Dean and Cas are largely kept apart both physically and emotionally.

9.06 Heaven Can’t Wait

This episode is my white whale, friends. While I’ve come to fully subscribe to the idea that something did happen between Dean and Cas during the fanfic gap, I don’t actually think it’s feasible that it marked the start of a relationship -- be it sexual or romantic. My reasoning here is quite simple: the timing is bad. Were it not for external events (Cas regaining his Grace and Dean taking on the MoC), the course would have likely differed. Furthermore, Dean’s guilt over making Cas leave the bunker as well as Cas’s own hurt and self-loathing pose a significant and as yet insurmountable obstacle, which is easily seen with how Dean and Cas’s character trajectories go separate ways.

YMMV on what exactly happened between them in that Motel, but something definitely did. Perhaps one day I’ll have a proper s9 trutherism post to link to here for more details (likely won’t be written by me, though). 

10.16 Paint It Black

From the point Dean gets the MoC until the end of season 10, anything between him and Cas is quite impossible due to distancing, to say the least. Again, yes, the fic is really good, but alas. One of the reasons I’m bringing up this episode in particular is because of the confession scene. One, it’s a rare bit of explicit emotional honesty from Dean, and two, it tells me that while he and Cas may be well aware of the Thing™ between them, it’s still uncharted waters. It’s scary, and murky, and they’re unsure how to navigated it or if they should even try. Makes sense, too, there’s been A LOT going on since s6. Anyway, he’s the full confession:

You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it. […]  Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time. […]  Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought.

Can I just say, first, that this confession keeps me up at night because we never actually see anything done with it explicitly? I mean, obviously, I think we do in fact see the effects of this confession in the show, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this behemoth, but still, like. Damn. Ok, so, remember when I brought up that thing in season 7 about Dean being kinda done with hook-ups? Here’s where that led us. We’re seeing a Dean here who wants more than what he has convinced himself he gets to have. He wants more than dying bloody. And when he talks about wanting to experience people and feelings differently, well, that says a lot not just on the queer coding front or the romantic front. I mean, jfc, Dean is accepting the idea that he can have more in life than just hunt until he drops, and he’s specifically talking about experiences at the interpersonal level.

Do you ever see a character having an epiphany and find yourself wanting to cry because this is it right here. Dean is just blatantly admitting he wants more and maybe he can make himself be open to that (!!!), which all culminates in season 11, so…

Season 11:

The pining is still here, but it’s worse now since it’s the whole plot? It’s been *checks calendar* 5 years of this. How are any of us still kicking I don’t know. Your slow burns could never. Cool worth noting points: Cas says yes to Lucifer (bad decision #2.5, lots of mitigating effects_I don’t actually hold it against him that much but Dean is another story & not entirely rational at this point); for the first time since the early days, Dean and Cas are on equal grounds: they’ve both fucked up a lot and have hurt each other. The issues this season are outside their dynamic. Amara and Lucifer here serve as externalizing forces for Dean and Cas’s problems: Cas checks out with Lucifer because he thinks it’s the only way he can help, Dean is caught up in the turmoil of Amara, the emblem of absence and avoidance of struggle. We do get something like an affirmation from the two of them to each other via Dean calling Cas his brother (and I want y’all to consider the historical queering of that statement, and Cas’s “I could go with you.” It feels like we’re headed to them being on the same page. By the end of the season, though, it feels like we’re getting a clean slate: Mary is back, nobody died, no end-of-the-world in sight, no interpersonal crisis. We’re also getting a new showrunner, so. No wonder. We’re gearing up for something, but I’m getting ahead of myself. What this season does that is super important is that it sets up the stage for the possibility of an actual relationship between Dean and Cas, something that has, up until this point, been pretty much impossible.

11.04 Baby

Y’all know what I’m about to quote here, right? That conversation between Dean and Sam about having something with someone who understands the life. Here we still have Dean reverting to the idea that it’s impossible, which is a direct contrast to the openness in 10.16. It’s understandable, though, considering there’s been little reason to think anything like that would be possible (see all the mess and poor timing from seasons past). The quote in question, though, marks a continuing development regarding the issues Dean is struggling with this season:

DEAN: Piper? That’s awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we’re lucky we still get that at all. SAM: Really? You don’t … Ever want something more? DEAN: I’m sorry, have you met us? We’re batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don’t ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But … Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

We wouldn’t be talking about this stuff all these years after Sam and Dean had a serious relationship if it wasn’t important, right? Also who else do we meet this season? That’s right! Eileen! And doesn’t that hit different with season 15 hindsight? And who does Dean have that understands the life? Whose stories have been intricately connected to his? Right now, this is all conjecture. A pipe dream Sam is revisiting, and Dean is skeptical about. Except, well. Look at what we get in “Into the Mystic” and “The Chitters.”

11.11 Into The Mystic

I’m bringing up this episode as a cross reference to “Paint It Black” as well as to complement the talk from “Baby,” and to show, again, that, for all the closeness between Dean and Cas, there’s still a marked distance they haven’t yet bridged. There’s still truths they haven’t told each other. Thanks Mildred for the delicious exposition:

Darlin’…If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years on the road, it’s when somebody’s pining for somebody else. […] Oh, don’t try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember?

11.19 The Chitters

And here we see some validation to Sam’s imagining of a possible future with someone else. We actually see hunters who not only are married, but they both make it out alive. Jesse and Cesar get their happy ending. They make the dream come true. And the reality of it important not just for Dean to see, but Sam too.

Dean: [with realization] Oh, so … [points back and forth to Jesse and Cesar] Cesar: Yeah. Dean: Okay, that’s… Cesar puts his beer bottle on the table and looks at Dean, while Jesse is being silent. Dean: What’s it like, settling down with a hunter? Cesar: Smelly, dirty. [turns to Jesse] Twice the worrying about getting ganked.

I’d like to point out, too, that the fear of getting ganked is thematic when it comes to the tension between Dean and Cas. More on this when we hit s13.

Alright, now, having said that, let’s take a look at season 12. Bear in mind, this is the official start of Dabb’s era, even if he kinda began taking over in season 11, and the change in vibes is obvious. In fact, 12 jumped out at me as a turning point, in hindsight, after getting smacked by the domesticity of seasons 13 and 14.

II. Why Season 12

[Out of date section. Update coming soon when spoons. After significant debate, I’ve altered the definitive start of Dean and Cas’s friend-with-benefits-with-mutual-pining relationship to between 12.02 and 12.03. I briefly explained why here, and yes it’s a shitpost--still true tho.]

Finally, the promise land, y’all. Getting right to it: what s11 was for Dean in terms of setting up the relationship stage, s12 was for Cas. In its initial beats, any way. That is, until the Kelly debacle, this was the longest Cas has been around the bunker and with the exception of seasons 13 and 14, it’s one of the first times we get to see how Cas might actually fit into the bunker-as-home. Things seem remarkably chill. Of course, we’ll notice that there’s still a lot of baggage hanging around because despite Dean and Cas being in a more stable place, they haven’t actually dealt with their interpersonal problems. I didn’t single out directly this episode, but do keep in mind Cas’s declaration in 12.09 First Blood as far as how much the Winchesters matter to Cas & how we also see Dean and Cas be particularly singled out with them seating together in the backseat of the Impala. What we also see this season is Cas trying to prove he is worthy of this family, his family. He’s not fighting for heaven or to right some grievous wrong (a la s8). No, this season he’s fighting to spare the Winchester, to bring them a win. To bring Dean a win. The major disconnect is that Dean (and Sam & Mary) already sees Cas that way, he doesn’t think Cas has anything to prove. And just maybe, Cas starts believing that too – or, at least, believing it enough.

12.10 Lily Sunders Has Some Regrets

This episode, oh my god, the goodness. In the wake of 12.09 we have Dean and Cas in a tiff because Cas mistake #3 (killing Billie and “cosmic consequences”), this is a pattern. Twice the worry of getting ganked, etc etc. But where this episode really shines is through the contrast between Ishim’s obsession with Lily and Cas & Dean’s mutual affection for each other. Ishim sees no difference here and, to him, Cas’s feelings for Dean are a human weakness. Returning to my point about human!Cas, this episode underscores that Cas’s increasing humanity is what puts him in the place where he can want what Dean wants instead of either being too alien to get it (see s4 & 5) or unable to experience it properly (Ishim).

12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)

Cas’s trajectory culminates here with the whole I love you (@ Dean), I love all of you (@ Winchesters). Let’s note too that Cas is dying here, in a way that is much more human than going up in light. This declaration of different types of love is entirely human. It’s also a definitive step wrt to Cas and Dean’s relationship because of what happens in 12.19. This. is. it. Oh, and, of course, let’s not forget to point to Dean’s face when Cas says that “I love you,” and how terrified he is that Cas is dying. Might make one rethink some things, hm?

12.19 The Future

This episode is simply hella suspicious, and all the kudos to Berens and Glynn for writing it. It’ll haunt me forever. Consider watching it again and just questioning everything. So. Weird things:

1. Dean’s reaction to Cas no getting in touch as opposed to Sam’s. Dean is pissed, which is Dean-speak for worried out of his mind. Sam is very worried, too, and puzzled, but he’s mostly expressing his relief that Cas is back. But Cas has gone awol before, but this time Dean is much more worked up about it; Sam takes note of this, too. Now, let’s imagine that maybe the events of 12.12 led to something happening between Dean and Cas. Then Cas decided to leave to find a lead on Kelly, but eventually Cas decides to work with Heaven and goes radio silent. For days. Having taken a chance, and something having happened between them, how would Dean react to Cas just going poof and not contacting him – despite Dean having called Cas multiple times.

2. Cas knows about the Colt. Ok, nothing off there. But when he goes to Dean’s room to talk, right after Dean leaves we see Cas looking around briefly. Like he know Dean would keep it in there. Maybe Cas had looked other places already. Who knows. What we do know is that eventually he does find the Colt not only in Dean’s room, but under Dean’s pillow. Sam didn’t even know the Colt wasn’t in the safe. So how did Cas know?

3.“He came into my room and he played me.” So, this quote right there, makes it seem like some seduction for personal gain, right? But can you see Cas actually doing that if they hadn’t gone there previously? For Dean not to suspect anything and go with it? There’s plenty of plausible deniability here, but the gaps in time in the narrative make me question what is there in those spaces. The scene where Cas tried to give Dean the mixtape back doesn’t read like “playing,” so it’s about a different interaction. Hm. Hmmm.

4. Dean and Cas’s brief conversation in Dean’s room is clearly Dean just wanting Cas to stay, so they can work (and be) together – because they’re better that way. Which, yeah, truth, but also ow.

5.And most importantly: When did Dean give Cas that mixtape??? How did that happen?

Sequence of events: Cas tells Dean he loves him – Dean is clearly shook by it – Dean gives Cas a mixtape (romantic gesture, often a declaration of feelings; in true Dean speak too lolsobs) – Cas goes awol - Dean acts like he got ghosted by his new bf -?????- Cas somehow knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow – "He went into my room and he played me."

What am I supposed to do with that, hm? Like. Y’all realize they probably had some emotionally constipated getting together moment, right? Something that Dean clearly initially thought meant things were gonna change, now. Something that Cas couldn’t allow to happen until he could give Dean a win. Y’all are seeing this, yeah? I’m not saying they slept together and were full of feelings, except that’s kind of what I’m saying. But YMMV, there are other possibilities beyond sex. The full of feelings isn’t up for debate, though, even if the whole thing is informed by ridiculous amounts of miscommunication.

III. Seasons 13 through 15 As Established Relationship

Regardless of what happened in season 12, exactly, I can’t shake the feeling that something did happen, and something did change. My reasoning here is actually really simple: in comparison to previous seasons, Dean and Cas’s dynamic shifts significantly come season 13. I know some folks have been disappointed with some of season 13 and then season 14 for having dialed back on the destiel side of things. And, hey, maybe there’s truth to that in terms of backstage stuff, but I also want to point out that...well, the dialing back isn’t quite dialing back is it? Let’s look at 13 a little more closely:

Season 13:

So I said the deancas dynamic changed, right? I also think that change caught us unaware because the pivotal turning point that would cue us in never happened on screen as well as being subsumed by Cas’s death and Jack’s birth. But if I ask you about deancas in season 13 what would come to mind? Grief arc? Brokebacknatural? How domestic Dean and Cas are? There’s just something easy about their relationship after Cas returns from the Empty. The tension we’d grown so familiar with over the years is gone. Actually, it feels like we skipped the getting together bit of their relationship and went straight to established relationship and parenting. Some of the most peak married deancas moments we see circulating? Season 13, (and 12.10). It’s a lot, and it’s different, and it’s amazing.

13.01-13.05

Dean’s grief mini-arc. He was acting like a widower. Here’s me vaguely gesturing towards the mapping of Jonh, Mary, Dean, and Sam onto Dean, Cas, Sam, and Jack. And the reunion? I can’t help but be giddy at the song choice: “it’s never too late to start all over again.” To. Start. All. Over. Again. I’m just saying.

13.06 Tombstone & 13.16 Scoobynatural

I’m not going at length about these episodes, I just want to point out that they reveal that Dean and Cas have a whole thing going on off screen: they watch movies together, Cas knows about Dean being an angry sleeper, Cas seems to have been aware of the Dean-cave before Sam was. It’s little things like this that are examples of the narrative gaps surrounding Dean and Cas that have cropped up over the years. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to wonder what else could be hiding there. And when did the movie nights alluded in “Tombstone” happen? Maybe in season 12 when Cas in hanging around the bunker? The same period when Dean and Cas seem to be coalescing into something safer and more stable? Something that we never see come to a head because plot happens and Cas dies? Something that is immediately taken back up once Cas is alive again?

Season 14:

Overall, this season is more of what we got during 13, but it had two high notes I wanted to single out before ending this already too long post.

14.15 Peace of Mind

Look me in the eye and tell me Dean and Cas talking in the kitchen about Jack doesn’t read like husbands talking about their child. Look me in the eye and tell me Cas just texting Dean to gossip about Sam isn’t couple-y as hell.

14.18-14.20

Ah, yes, the divorce arc. Awful. Terrible. The culmination of Dean’s problem in all this: he lashes out, he pushes Cas away, his anger is alienating. Cue all of us suffering. But while Dean is clearly in the wrong in how the deals with his feelings, let’s not pretend some of his anger doesn’t come from a long established, and unaddressed, rift between him and Cas, which had its last traumatic turn when Cas died in s12. Dean isn’t being rational here: he saw Cas doing something on his own, and he saw that his mother is dead. What else could happen? Why won’t Cas just trust they can work as a team? What if Cas died again? And why should Cas put up with Dean’s behavior without knowing the cause? How can any relationship work this way? But notice how caught in the middle Sam was during all this. Notice how Jack is running off and acting out. The whole family is falling apart. Divorce arc, indeed.

Season 15:

But what about what we’re building up in 15? That seems like it could be a getting together plot, too, right? Well, yeah. It could very well be. But I’d argue the tension we’re seeing isn’t a will-they-or-won’t-they because they already have. We’re are watching a getting back together plot! The tension is, instead, will-they-or -won’t-they use their words to talk about the baggage that has kept them from truly being confident about their relationship. That’s the crucial step in their togetherness that they’re still missing, which is also the bedrock of the divorce arc that spanned twelve fucking episodes -- y’all, that’s half a season.

And technically? We’re not even done with yet because Cas never let Dean finish his prayer/confession in purgatory. What’s more, Cas hasn’t grappled with his role in the breakdown of their relationship, either: that he keeps going off on his own and getting hurt (and getting other people hurt), and Dean has to deal with the fallout. The deep emotional understanding, the truly being on the same page is what we’re on the edge of our seats for. We’re waiting to see what else Dean had to say, and what will happen when Cas’s deal with the Empty comes to light.

Finally, could we still have this plot without Dean and Cas having gotten together off screen? Sure, but I think the stakes are higher if they already did have something between them. If they actually have an established romantic relationship going on. Something real and tangible and as of yet much too fragile.

"...you asked what about all this is real. We are."

[onrainynights]

why you can't compare buddie to destiel (from someone who ships both)

this is kind of addressing the recent negativity in the buddie tag, but it's also a collection of my thoughts and reasoning for being buddie-positive despite my experiences with destiel and spn in general. the text of 911 is not really discussed at all, and this is relatively spoiler-free, so if you're thinking of watching 911 I encourage you to read it. if you haven't seen both shows it probably won't make perfect sense, but I wrote this with spn fans who haven't seen 911 in mind, since that's most of my followers (and also seems to be where much of the negativity was coming from) pretty long post under the cut to save your dash

I just want to prepare y'all for the fact that buddie could be the slow burn will they/won't they mlm romance we've been waiting for practically forever.

at this point it's not fair to call it queerbait because where their relationship is now fits the characters and their development. this is not like destiel, where there were many moments over the years that could've ended with them getting together and it would've made sense with the story. buddie right now is in this sweet, wholesome pre-relationship kind of place, which on its own is a compelling dynamic and so fun and good to see. a resolution of it right now would feel out of character—they both still have some development to do before that would feel natural. and so, I don't think we can really call it queerbaiting unless the characters get to that point and there is still no resolution.

also I'd like to point out the overall positivity from the cast when it comes to buddie. both Eddie's and Buck's actors have said (I'm paraphrasing cast statements in this post unless they are in quotations) positive things about the pairing, and Buck's actor has said that he likes the interpretation of Buck as queer, and he would be happy if the writers took his character in that direction. also Eddie's actor with "that's what they all say" when buddie was referred to as a "bromance". Jennifer Love Hewitt, who plays Buck's sister (another main character), is very supportive of buddie, saying she's "rooting for it", that it would be "amazing", she doesn't "see how it couldn't happen one day". this was in response to hearing that a fan insists Buck and Eddie will be a couple. She flat-out said "I think so, too." She jokes about buddie with Buck's and Eddie's actors all the time. Also, my favorite bit from the video of her saying all this, "Let's manifest it together!"

It's safe to say this is a VERY different environment to spn. I don't think I've ever seen a cast this positive about a show's main non-canon queer ship before. NEVER. I think it's safe to say that if/when buddie is canonized, the cast will be just as excited as the fans—at least JLH will be! Add into the fact that the show's PR seems to be leaning into bi buck and buddie right now, it's a VERY different vibe than spn had, definitely. There's no gaslighting of the fans here, at least not that I've seen. also, although 911 has a large casual viewership, I think it's safe to say the GA would not be upset by buddie—there are only 3 serious, long-term romantic relationships involving main characters in this show, and one of them is a lesbian marriage with two children. And yes, the characters are shown being lesbians, it's not just a stated fact; the audience is privy to their relationship (and their interactions with their adorable kids). I think it's safe to say that buddie would go over well with the fans, even the casual viewers (of which there are many). buddie doesn't seem to be a huge divider in fandom like destiel is, either. reactions generally seem to be either "I ship it" or "I don't care either way."

Also I'd like to point out that while yes, it's possible that buddie is only bait (which would be disappointing), there's a reason queerbaiting works. people WANT to be queerbaited, because it's nearly indistinguishable from a slow burn will they/won't they queer romance. queerbaiting allows fans to make theories, create fan content (including fic), and keeps them engaged with the dynamic and the show. fans who are vulnerable to queerbaiting want a slow burn will they/won't they queer romance, which is currently an almost completely untapped market. spn could've tapped it, but despite the huge fandom they did not. there are SO MANY people outside of spn fandom who want a slow burn mlm romance, one that keeps the audience guessing, one that's will they/won't they, one that is not guaranteed, and that is why queerbaiting works so well. the audience doesn't just want the payoff, they also want the build-up. the longer the build-up, the higher the payoff, and the suspense of the build-up is gone if you know from the start that the payoff is definitely coming. that's part of why malec from shadowhunters didn't fully tap this market—there was no question of if, only the question of when (which wasn't really a question either, given there was an episode in season 1 literally titled "malec" when they got together.) the characters were always queer, the show being an adaptation of a book series where they were in a relationship and eventually had children together.

this was why November 5th was such a big deal—fans were so far past the will they/won't they aspect of destiel, firmly believing that destiel would always end as a "won't they" and not a "will they" that when cas confessed his romantic love for dean, destiel trended on Twitter over the US election. you all know that story, but maybe not everyone reading this knows that after Nov. 5 there was a case of hundreds if not thousands of spn fans experiencing love sickness because of the confession scene. the payoff of making destiel fully canon (and reciprocated, in English) would've been huge. fans would've been throwing their money at the c/w.

which leads me to the possibility (this is not at all me saying that I think this happened or even is likely, just that it's one possibility that /could/ have happened) that buddie started as bait, that the writers never intended for them to be a couple, but saw fan reactions to buddie during season 2 and started to lean into it in season 3 (and 4 so far, but it just started so I don't want to make any generalized statements about it) possibly still as bait or maybe not deciding yet if they'll go anywhere with it. and then maybe they saw destiel trending on November 5th, realized just how BIG the market for a slow burn will they/won't they mlm romance is, and said "hey, we already have the foundations for one of those. why not go for it and draw in all those viewers who clearly want one so badly?"

if buddie goes canon, because the cast and PR have been so positive about it, unlike spn, and because of the text of the show itself, the show's creatives could VERY EASILY claim that they were never baiting, that it was all an intentional slow burn will they/won't they romance from the beginning, and most people would believe them; there isn't really any evidence to the contrary, although I am sure there would be at least a few fans convinced it started as queerbaiting, and there might not be any evidence to refute that, either.

the point is that 911 is currently sitting on a gold mine. if they play their cards right, and execute buddie well, they will monopolize this market that old straight white men serving as network executives have failed so far to really tap into. they queerbait without the payoff, which gives the show a reputation among those in the market who haven't seen it, guaranteeing they will never watch it. shows in this vein: sherlock (huge reputation for queerbaiting and a finale fans didn't like) and spn (huge reputation for queerbaiting and a finale fans didn't like). spn got so, so close with cas's confession but then continued to gaslight its fans, and PR did not lean into destiel AT ALL. if 911 did buddie? the PR team would be all over it. it would be a moneymaker, big time, and Fox knows it. if buddie, or even just bi buck, went canon, tumblr would be all over it. viewership for the show, which is already impressive, would skyrocket. 911 would monopolize this market, because fans wary of queerbaiting would watch it with the knowledge that the payoff is there, and there really wouldn't be a competitor until other shows saw the success of buddie and followed suit with their own pairings, and given the fact that the market specifically wants /slow burn/ queer romances, that might take a couple years. that puts 911 in a really good position, where suddenly the fandom of the show, not just the GA, is very large and likely very dedicated to the show. the success of canon buddie might just change the landscape of TV in the coming years, showing execs that while queerbaiting does work, actually going through with it is really where the money is. 911 would not just monopolize the market for a while; it would pioneer it.

if buddie never goes canon, I would probably be a bit disappointed at the wasted potential, but unless the characters get to that point where canon buddie seems like the most logical outcome and they /don't/ go for it, I won't be truly upset because I don't think it's fair to claim its queerbaiting until then. I can't tell you how likely it is that buddie will be canon at some point, but it seems FAR more likely than destiel /ever/ did, and we ended up getting cas's confession in the end. I have hope, despite being hurt so badly by spn. 911 is a genuinely great show with some fantastic writing, and they don't leave chekov's gun unfired, unlike spn.

really, it comes down to this: if Jennifer Love Hewitt is allowed to clown for buddie, then so am I, and I'll enjoy this show—which is amazing even without canon buddie—while I apply my clown makeup.

[spnficsoutofboredom]

I started part 4 so that should be up next week ❤️

[tundrainafrica]

Hi!! Do you think Levihan as a ship is kinda underrated? Like even though its the third most popular ship(just behind Ereri and Eruri) but I don't really think many people give it the credit it actually deserves. Someone on reddit pointed out how if the interactions LH had, especially the ones in and after ch 115, were between some ship involving two cis man, literally everyone would've called it canon. Do you agree?

Do you think Levihan as a ship is kinda underrated?

You know, I actually used to think Levihan is underrated. But i was surprised to find out that Levihan actually still has a fair amount of fics. In fact it has more fics in ao3 than Aruani or Eremika and maybe even Connie/Sasha. It’s actually surprisingly one of the top non M/M ships in the AOT fandom in ao3. But I don’t know how much the number of AO3 fics have to do with popularity though.

But why is it lower than Eruri and Ereri? 

I think you partially answered your own question by pointing this out.  “Someone on reddit pointed out how if the interactions LH had, especially the ones in and after ch 115, were between some ship involving two cis man, literally everyone would've called it canon. “

But there is something else I want to point out actually. I think that even if Levihan was a relationship between two CIS men, I still think it would remain less popular than Eruri and Ereri. 

First things first though, let’s answer the question: Why are Ereri and Eruri popular? Because Levi is popular and the general consensus of the majority of fangirls is to put Levi aka the most popular character in ao3 with the two sexiest men in the whole fandom who have at least a reachable and justifiable bond with Levi. 

If we consider what actually gets people into a ship, (personally I still don’t understand Ereri but lemme try), 

1. They look cute together

2. They have a very obviously deep bond with each other. 

3. The enemies to friends trope gets incredibly enticing.

So Ereri I think fell with number 1 and number 3 (I’m honestly thinking of the courtroom scene now).

 And I read a fair amount of Ereri fics (no, I never liked Ereri I just wanted my hurt Levi fic and I was desperate), and one thing which a lot of Ereri fans like to explore is the fact that Levi becomes his bodyguard for a while and Eren has to stick close to Levi right? There are a lot of themes relationship wise (enemies to lovers, slowburns, bodyguard and ward) which can be explored with this set up. Eren is obviously one of the most popular characters in AOT too and the main protagonist so it is only natural that this would fall on top. 

On top of that Eren is pretty cute. 

What about Eruri? Eruri takes the cake for reasons 1 and 2 first of all.

On top of that, Eruri rose through the ranks of one of the top ships in AOT because of Season 3 in particular but I think even before that, Erwin and Levi had enough crumbs already to justify shipping them. 

Sure, Levihan won with the fact that Levi was first introduced next to Hange. But, in the more iconic Levi scenes in Season 1-3, for example when Eren got to talk to Levi for the first time in the dungeon, who was Levi with? Erwin. 

When it came to the more serious, more plot relevant scenes, Erwin and Levi were almost always together. Actually, the only time Levi and Hange spent a lot of time together in very plot relevant scenes was during the uprising arc when Erwin was out of commission. 

But then after that, we get the Take back Shiganshina arc where Erwin and Levi had their most iconic moments. 

So with Levi and Erwin constantly together during the more plot heavy scenes, most of the audience, even the most casual people would remember their relationship over Hange.

That’s why Eruri is still more popular than Levihan. 

What about Levihan? Only number 2 applies to Levihan actually.

Also, it’s not very memorable? Like if you’re not looking for a relationship in AOT you won’t find it. And really, who looks for a relationship in AOT.

Most of the scenes where Hange and Levi are shown together are incredibly light scenes and they’re usually shown for the lolz and are not as blatantly plot heavy as the scenes where Erwin and Levi are seen together,. Most of the plot heavy Hange and Levi scenes happen when Erwin was out of commission which makes it easy for the audience to think that Hange and Levi were together out of necessity.

And when we consider reason number 1. Hange is not conventionally attractive or cool to the average viewer. I have lots of friends who actually don’t like Hange and they’re casual watchers. They find her weird, crazy, and not as clear cut or cool as Erwin or Levi so even if Hange were a guy, I don’t think her relationship with Levi would have topped the AOT charts

Where does Levihan actually shine though? 

It shines in Season 4. We notice in Season 4 that Levi and Hange are constantly together. But the thing is, with Season 4, we kinda ended up with a new setting, we have new characters and we have new perspectives on how to approach the story. So even if Levihan is more obvious there, even if Levi and Hange are shown to have a closer bond in Season 4, it gets overshadowed by other things like the Marleyans, the actual war and the actual chaos. 

Let alone the fact that Levi and Hange spent a huge chunk of the chapters before chapter 115 away from each other. And when they are together, the plot and the overall war ends up outshining whatever relationship development they have. 

Yet regardless, even if a lot of their interactions weren’t very plot relevant thus, very forgettable for the casual reader who is not in the mood to analyze relationships, I think that 115, 126 and 132 are still very important for the relationship of Levihan and are decisive evidence that there is definitely something there. Like actually I showed 115, 126 and 132 to multiple people who have never watched AOT in their life and a lot commented that the scene in 126 in particular screams ‘COUPLE.’ but the thing is, the forest scene in 126 was overshadowed by more pressing things. In fact a lot of people criticized it for being a slow chapter. 115 was overshadowed by Zeke’s backstory and the actual war. 132 was overshadowed by her death.

And when I did notice the relationship enough to appreciate it, I did look back at the previous AOT episodes and the previous Levihan scenes and I really did see that most of the interactions of Levi and Hange in the earlier seasons are not as obviously relevant to the overall plot. So if people don’t actually look for it, they won’t see it. 

It’s an incredibly subtle ship and as a fan, I actually only appreciated it in retrospect so I kinda understand why it’s not so popular. 

So to answer your next question.

Someone on reddit pointed out how if the interactions LH had, especially the ones in and after ch 115, were between some ship involving two cis man, literally everyone would've called it canon. Do you agree?

Actually, I don’t agree with this. 

Sure, if Levihan was a ship between two CIS men then Levihan would probably be more popular. But I think a lot of people still wouldn’t consider it canon. 

I used to read a lot of works and participate a lot in Shonen manga fandoms, sports anime fandoms (I’m literally a simp for sports animes man I think I’ve watched most of the iconic ones) in particular so I am aware of how ships with two cismen go. And even if they do have a lot of sexual tension like let’s say Daichi and Sugawara, Kageyama and Hinata  from Haikyuu, Kuroko and Aomine from Kuroko no Basuke, Oishi x Tezuka from Prince of Tennis, people in the fandom at least have the head to say “It’s not canon.” 

But at the same time, people still ship them. 

On the contrary, I think people are actually more likely to deem something canon if they are a heterosexual ship because we live in a heteronormative society. On top of that, writers (especially Japanese writers) are more likely to make something canon if it’s a heterosexual pairing because societal expectations and marketing and corporate synergy and bullshit like that. 

I need to point out something about male writers though. Male writers are incredibly good at writing male to male dynamics but for some reason tend to fuck writing women up a lot. So we end up with incredibly blah ‘die for our ship’ women and two guys with so much sexual tension if they were a man and a woman, people are more likely to deem them canon. 

Naruto and Sasuke for example or Riku and Sora from Kingdom Hearts. I can swear that Riku and Sora had way more development over the course of five games than Sora and Kairi but Sora and Kairi became canon. Naruto and Sasuke had more than enough development and literally Naruto did the equivalent of Hange jumping into the river at 115 by literally begging all the fucking kages to spare Sasuke during the great ninja war but Naruto married Hinata and Sasuke married Sakura.

And even in Western media, we have Johnlock, we have Destiel. And even among female writers I have half the mind to add Will and Jem from Clockwork Princess to the mix for men with the most sexual tension but are never made canon. 

So I don’t think it’s the male/male dynamic which makes people think, oh they’re canon. I think it is the premise of the show overall which makes people hesitant to deem Levihan canon. 

The scenes which are very important to the Levihan shippers are scenes which the casual watchers who are allergic to romance will skim over. We saw a taste of that when people got angry that ch. 126 was winning the Besatsu polls for example. 

People just wanna focus on the titans, the action and the exposition. And the moment anyone decides to add romance to the mix, suddenly people are like, NO DON’T RUIN THEIR CHARACTER. OR NO STOP TURNING AOT INTO A ROMANCE.

Because people have this idea that the moment we decide to explore the relationships of the show, when people start falling in love in the show, the show becomes bad. Really, I believe a lot of the reason for this though is because a lot of male writers don’t know how to handle romance or it becomes difficult to pair people off in the end because a lot of their Male x male relationships actually have more sexual tension than a lot of the male x female relationships they write so a lot of the endgame heterosexual pairings end up falling flat.

Going back to AOT though....

One other thing to note:  Looking from the eye of those who don’t look for romance or are just a casual watcher,  the scenes which had more titans and action and overall exposition (which most people watch AOT for) tended to show Levi and Eren together or Levi and Erwin together more which explains why these relationships ended up shining more since these scenes are more memorable. 

I like to think of Levihan as this awesome product with lots of potential but has the shittiest marketing team ever. Because the marketing team just did a horrible job on where to put the ‘billboards’ and how to design their flyers if you know what I mean. So even if Levihan is a great product, it won’t sell because they just didn’t have the right ‘billboards’ ‘flyers’ or other marketing material in canon. Like people have to make the effort to look for it to actually find it and to actually appreciate the canon but when they do, they got some high quality product. 

So I like to compare Levihan to those  hole in the wall restaurants in the small towns or those street shops which sell the most authentic cuisines or those treasures we find in the antique shops. 

Thanks for reading and sorry for this long ass meta. Anyway...

I’d like to end this long ass rant with just two tweets which summarize my overall thoughts on this.

Link to the tweets: 1 2

Again, Thanks for reading!

[fanfic-corner]

Cockles

I found out this morning that apparently Misha knows that Cockles exists. So... that’s fun. I’ve never been sure where I stand on RPF, so I thought I may as well read some and decide what I think after. Anyway, here’s what I read!

Revenge of the Subtext by MittenWraith on AO3. (80,064 words).

Tags: Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Canon Divergence after 10.20, French Mistake style AU, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Humor, Smut, Crack, Light Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Supernatural Convention, Human Castiel, Switch Dean, Switch Castiel, First Kiss, First Time, Enthusiastic Content, Love Confessions.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Descrition:  Things are finally settling back down to normal since Cas gave up his grace to cure Dean of the Mark. Well, as normal as their lives are allowed to get. Sam relentlessly finds new cases to work, one right after the other; but Dean thinks they need a break to let Cas have some purely human fun, for once. It’s true they had a difficult time readjusting to humanity at first, but Dean thinks Cas deserves to do more than ride around in the back seat and follow them on monster hunts. Then again, Dean’s a little bit scared to ask exactly what Cas would want, just in case it doesn’t include spending quite so much time with him. And with Sam (of course).

Sam’s been tracking a series of odd occurrences in Laramie, Wyoming for the last few weeks that looks just enough like a case to finally convince Dean they should go check it out. Whether they like it or not, the goddess responsible for the weirdness in Laramie takes an immediate interest in the three less-than-perfectly-happy hunters who’ve stumbled into her town.

Notes: Absolutely adorable, such a good case and beautifully written. There are some other works in the same series which are also absolutely fabulous!

He Who Laughs Last (The Joke Is on Us) by anoradh on AO3. (4,248 words).

Tags: RPF, Fluff, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Silly.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: For the prompt: Jensen and Misha think they’re pulling the mother of all pranks on Jared by pretending to be a couple, but they’re in way over their heads.

Notes: This was cute and I love the sheer panic they caused in Jared - I couldn’t stop laughing.

Through the Screen by ArchOfImagine on AO3. (28,722 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe, Angst and Humor, Season 9 Divergence.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: "What would you do if you woke up in the Supernatural world?" A fan asked Misha. Little did the actor know, but a few weeks later he would actually be finding out the real answer to that question. Because when Metatron tosses Castiel out of Heaven at the beginning of season 9 -- he tosses him right into Misha's universe. Now Misha is stuck in the Supernatural world, looking at his husband's face but a different man.

Notes: This was funny and cute and just generally adorable!

Is It Really A Mistake? by BriMaco518 on AO3. (6,819 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe - The French Mistake, s6e15 The French Mistake, Angst, Coda, Fluff, Happy Ending.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Dean and Sam Winchester find themselves in a world where the supernatural does not exist. Everyone calls them Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki respectively. Their efforts to protect the key that Balthazar gave them from Virgil, one of Raphael's angels, should be Dean's focus. Yet the elder Winchester finds himself distracted by the actor that plays Castiel, Misha Collins. Who also turns out to be the husband of Jensen Ackles.

Notes: Once again hit by not reading the tags, but if you read the sequel then that gets sorted out. Also, this is adorable and I actually saw the gifset it was based on afterwards, which confused me for a full minute.

Mistakes Are Better When They’re French by maraudersgirl47 on AO3. (21,791 words).

Tags: Episode: s06e15 The French Mistake, Fluff, Angst.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Notes: This was funny and touching and I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially the ending!

Description: Number One: Dean would definitely never appear on a soap opera.

Number Two: Dean Winchester did not wear makeup.

And Number Three: He was not gay!

God, Cas, whoever was listening - Please get them the hell out of here.

Fever by lysanatt on AO3. (13,624 words).

Tags: Romance, RPF, Post S8, No Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, First Time.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: It's Christmas and the otherwise so mild Vancouver is hit by a rare blizzard. Misha is hit by the flu and Jensen is hit by the urge to take care of Misha. Of course there are unexpected consequences to it all.

Notes: This was so sweet -  I love a good hurt/comfort and the way they wrote Misha was amazing!

Twisted French Mistake by literaryoblivion on AO3. (3,170 words).

Tags: Episode: s6e15 The French Mistake, Parallel Universes, Alternate Universe, First Kiss, Kissing, Mistaken Identity.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: If Sam and Dean get sent to the Supernatural set, where do Jensen and Jared end up? That's right, the world of Sam and Dean. But they're safe, and Castiel checks in on them and ends up learning more about himself and Dean from Jensen.

Notes: This was a really good idea - I remember watching the episode and wondering where Jensen and Jared were!

The Bubble by thunderpuffin429 on AO3. (21,035 words).

Tags: First Time, Fluff and Smut, Feelings, Character Bleed, Kissing.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Cas has to choose between Heaven and the Winchesters. Again. For the final time.

Notes: The Destiel part of this was phenomenal but the Cockles part was mostly smut, which is fine but made me a bit uncomfy just because I’m ace and I’m not a massive fan of reading it. So, it wasn’t my favourite, but that’s entirely on me for not reading the tags properly.

Do You Know What You Think You Know by ljunattainable on AO3. (5,761 words).

Tags: Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Romance.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Everyone knows Jensen and Misha are together. Nobody even thinks about it. They just know. Except Jensen and Misha. They don’t know. A few things happen in the space of a few weeks that leave everyone at least knowing the same thing.

Notes: This was sweet and I loved how everyone assumed they were dating and they still didn’t know.

Method Acting (Or ‘In Which Misha Is Not, In Fact, Kidding Jensen’) by HigherMagic on AO3. (5,567 words).

Tags: Character Bleed.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: There's a little surprise in the script for the latest episode, Misha is unruffled, and Jensen is not amused, but he's determined to put on the best damn performance he can, 'cause it's the last season and, hey, he owes it to Dean.

Notes: This was pretty good but it did get me thinking... can you IMAGINE if we got a Destiel sex scene? Tumblr would have imploded. There would be a national holiday. 

Second Take by anonymous on AO3. (6,237 words).

Tags: Polyamory, First Kiss, Psychology, Character Bleed, Internal Monologue, Internal Conflict, Friendship/Love.

My Rating: 3 stars.

Description: Wherein Destiel becomes canon, and Jensen and Misha face the consequences of their first kiss.

Notes: This was fairly sweet, and Jensen’s internal monologue was written really well.

Still undecided, I think, but I hope you enjoyed! Some of the fics came off better than others, but some just seemed a little bit... not right? I don’t know how to explain it. Anyway, please remember that Cockles stuff should stay inside the fandom. I hope you find some fics you like!

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs #3 - the (mostly) longfic edition!

It’s been a while since my last rec post - mostly because I’ve been wallowing in a number of longer fics (50-350k!) so it’s taken me a while to have enough to talk about in one post (and boy do I talk a lot, here!)

With these longer fics, I do sometimes have some caveats with my recs - or at least reasons why they might not appeal to every Dean/Cas reader. But note that if I didn’t overall strongly recommend reading the fic I wouldn’t include it in my recs here at all, so any quibbles I bring up are minor compared to my overall enjoyment of the stories. Just, I don’t want someone to commit to a long read without knowing what they’re getting into and why it might not be their thing.

I’m still not into reading complete setting AUs at this time, but a lot/most of these are canon-divergence AUs, often written/set at the end of a season and giving an alternative take on what happened next. I love those kind of stories, as it’s often so interesting to see how fans thought of what might happen in the next season (especially when it’s better than what we actually got.)

Onto the recs & discussion behind the cut!

The Sinking Ship by UnfortunatelyObsessed (114k). This is a story that ripped my heart to pieces (in a good way!). I stayed up all night to finish reading because I simply couldn’t stop once I started on it and it gave me a massive fic hanger from all my emotions. Season 14 divergence, imagine if Dean did go into the Ma’lak box to trap Michael under the ocean with him forever...and once there, he discovers that Cas has stowed away with him. Because of course Cas would never leave Dean to such a fate on his own.

I loved literally. Every. Damn. Thing. About this fic. Cas telling Dean stories to pass the (endless) time. Their small intimate moments while realizing they can never consummate physically while trapped in the box but finding every other way to express their love. The absolute heartbreak that had me SOBBING when Michael fights for control of Dean and destroys everything they’ve built together and Cas thinks he’s lost Dean forever. Sam & Gabriel & Rowena & Claire & Jack doing everything they can to devise a plan back home to try to save them both while keeping Michael trapped. Also even just the wonderfully sensitive portrayal of aroace Jack still closely bonded with Claire and Maggie and just. And just. This is a story I’ve already re-read just to savor how much I loved it and its portrayal of everyone in TFW 2.0 and their extended family, it just hit my id in all the most incredible ways and I have nothing but absolute love for this one.

Beautiful Chaos by anyrei, mugglerock (141k). Season 9 canon-divergence, in which Dean doesn’t simply abandon Cas to fend for himself post 09x03. Instead he sets Cas up in a kind of squatter’s nest in an abandoned building near the bunker so he can keep tabs on him and help him out. 

This fic definitely gets the award for FILTHIEST, HOTTEST, SMUTTIEST Dean/Cas (and Cas/other) I’ve read in, like, ever, for human!Cas turns out to be a rather insatiable sex fiend/cock slut and Dean is too up his own repressed ass to easily give Cas what he wants/needs. It is dark at times, Cas ends up in some very unsavory/non-con situations, and the authors do mention that they tried to hone in on endverse!Cas’s characterization more than what we saw in Season 9...so you might roll with it, you might not. I adored their original character Jerry the tattoo artist in this, and like I said it was seriously hot (if you are good with total bottom!Cas and Cas with others, I know those are not everyone’s cuppa). I did have a few minor issues. For one, the last chapter felt a bit rushed and hand-wavey, but clearly the authors weren’t fond of the canon conflicts of season 9 & 10 (Abbadon, Mark of Cain) and just wanted to be done with them. Can’t say I really blame them. And I did have to laugh a bit at Lebanon, Kansas apparently having such a bustling gay bar/tattoo artist/etc scene being someone from a butt-fuck nowhere American small town myself. But, SPN was never all that realistic in how Lebanon was shown (and yes I’ve spent too much time roaming around it on Google maps), so if you can suspend some disbelief this is an awesome hot/angsty/occasionally heartbreaking read.

These Forsaken Lands by destielpasta (53k). I came upon this story when looking for fics that dealt in some way with the aftermath of Godstiel. This is a wonderfully atmospheric late Season 9 “fill-in” case fic (post Meta-fiction) where Cas ends up in a small town that had been visited by Godstiel...and while initially residents have reaped much good fortune, there has suddenly been a wave of deaths/bad events and he is determined to find out what happened and set things right. He calls upon Dean for help, but Dean is fighting the Mark of Cain and it’s going to take a lot to get past its control and find a way out for both of them. Together they work on repairing an old church while trying to repair each other and their damaged relationship.

I loved this story for how well written it was, really invoking a gothic small-town/Americana atmosphere. The original characters blend in very well with the case-fic at the center of it, and the author deals really well with Cas at a very fragile point when he’s running on borrowed grace and trying to navigate Dean’s MoC-enhanced anger. It’s Dean/Cas but actually much more of a Cas character study, so I highly recommend it to my fellow/compatriot Cas-girls who love a good wallow in his head.

Mixed Emotions by Tierra469 (50k). Canon 12 “parallel” fic that then goes canon-divergent with the season finale. I actually stumbled on this while in the mood to read some Cas/ or & Mary fic after enjoying their interactions in Season 12 (don’t hate me). This is sort of two fics in one. The first half focuses mostly on filling in the gaps with some critical S12 Cas episodes, especially Cas & Mary’s developing friendship (and one night of something more). But of course Cas’s feelings for Dean (and vice-versa) are always there, and when Cas figures out a way to get his powers fully back, the question is if Dean can open himself up to be vulnerable - and express love - the way Cas needs for this to work.

This was an interesting fic in a lot of ways. I loved the author’s take on angels’ connections to their vessels and grace, it was very consistent in a way the show sometimes/often wasn’t. Cas is very Cas in not understanding privacy and personal boundaries (so he does some questionable things, admittedly, which might squick some readers). The smut is fucking HOT - though I will caution at one point it involves Cas temporarily in a younger (NOT underage) female vessel (and the story does point out Dean’s discomfort with this and some of the consent issues involved, I don’t want to spoil too much). I wanted the Mary plot resolved more than it was, but I still recommend this story strongly for the quality of the writing and unique/well-developed take on angel lore and mechanics that was quite different from what I’m used to reading.

We Are Either Here Or Not Here by petramacneary (54k) A post-season 12 fic that goes on a different tangent to how Cas returns, and what happens in the meantime. Particularly, it offers a different take on what apocalypseverse!Cas would be like—as Mary makes her own way back from that world with AU!Cas as her prisoner.

What I loved about this story: first off, BAMF!Mary is awesome here. Dean is so heartbreaking, not quite knowing what the fuck to do with this different Cas who at times is just a painful reminder of who/what Dean’s lost...but then becomes a chance for Dean to say and express some of the things he always was afraid to in the past. And when (real/our) Cas finally returns, there’s some very interesting stuff that happens with both Cas & AU!Cas and Cas & Dean that I don’t want to spoil. (And let’s also just say that when real!Cas and Dean finally get together it’s AMAZINGLY awesome. Like, hot Impala!sex. So is the artwork that goes with this story.)

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow (353k) The longest fic I read this time around and probably the one I have the most mixed feelings about, but a while on I do keep thinking about parts of it so I do rec it with some caveats. This is a canon-divergence after the end of Season 11. Dean & Sam find Cas after he’s been blasted out of the bunker...to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Mary isn’t in this one except for a brief appearance/visit, which Dean thinks is Amara’s gift to him. Life seems good for a while, they’re enjoying dealing with mundane problems for a change, but then Cas seems to be pulling away from the brothers, spending less and less time with them at the bunker, taking a mundane job at another Gas ‘n Sip, and clearly preoccupied by something else. Or is it someone else? Dean is worried yet finally ready to accept that Cas maybe has a girlfriend, or a boyfried, but then it turns out that is not at all what Cas has going on. It’s something far more serious than that.

Honestly I almost stopped reading when the reveal happened - it’s a subject that’s very sensitive to me from personal/family experience and not something I usually like reading in fic (especially if there is a sad ending.) So I admit I jumped ahead to read how it would end first before committing to finishing it. And I am glad I did, because the author handles the subject matter with a realism and obvious knowledge of experience as well, not how I often see it in fanfic. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs but it’s nice seeing Dean in his momma-hen/mode, and Sam is so so good in this one! I think I enjoyed Sam’s characterization here most of all! And the author has a really cool/well developed angel/wing lore that hit my wing-kink pretty hard. I do think it could have all been edited down a bit - I found myself skimming parts, especially in the last third, just to get on with things. But it’s definitely a story you can disappear into for a good long time and I’ve bookmarked the author’s other works to read later, so again, I do rec it even with a few caveats.

A few shorter fics, too, just because I don’t want to forget about them...

Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel by almaasi (15k) Pure gratuitous wing!kink for me :) Cas uses the last of his grace to manifest his wings...but then is stuck with them in his human form and not even able to use them to fly as he used to. This presents a lot of awkward problems to deal with but also the excuse for Dean to help him keep them clean :) I did say wing kink, right? :D :D I loved how Cas seemed confused about the pleasure signals he got from bathing vs. sex vs. grooming and all of that. It’s sweet and hot and has my favorite kind of caretaking Dean in it.

Fossil Tracks by SegaBarrett  (3k). Dean & Sam & Cas and dinosaurs. How can you go wrong with that? One of the SPN stories from the Id Pro Quo collection I really enjoyed reading (and didn’t write myself, lol).

[me-4eva]

IN DEFENCE OF HARRINGROVE:

Because I’ve seen SO MANY POSTS about how Harringrove is basically the devils spawn and super unhealthy and abusive etc etc etc, I wanted to offer my two cents because nobody asked for it so with all the confidence of a heterosexual white man, I am going to convince myself it matters and offer it to the world.

The truth is I honestly don’t think I would ever want Harringrove to ever become canon. I don’t think I would like it if it did. (See also: Destiel.) I KNOW there is so much bad blood between Steve and Billy that would take SO. MUCH. CHARACTER. DEVELOPMENT. to get over in a way that would not seem abusive. Billy and Steve’s relationship in the show was built on a macho rivalry that is literally just testosterone and abuse. Anyone who is anti Harringrove is currently sitting there agreeing with me, nodding along and going ‘THIS IS EXACTLY MY PROBLEM.’ I hear you anti Harringrovers. I hear you and I get you. Billy in the show is violent, bigoted and prone to lashing out and being aggressive. One of the biggest arguments against Harringrove is that nobody ever writes the characters from the show into a healthy relationship, it’s all totally different versions of the character and they worked out their issues offscreen or whatever. (Personally this to me feels like quite a narrow view of that segment of the fandom and I can point to a few fics straight off the top of my head where the characters start like the characters in the show and develop into a healthy relationship, but I hear what you say.)

THE THING IS THOUGH: that’s kind of the point. The big ships that are canon in the show (Mileven/Jancy/Jopper) don’t inspire the same level of fun for fanfic writers as Harringrove because they’re missing one crucial element: CONFLICT. Conflict is at the heart of any good story, regardless of whether it’s good vs evil or two characters getting together. (Writing 101 there...) All of those other ships have had their core conflict resolved in-story. Even delving into popular non-canon ships, for example Stonathan, Steve and Jonathan have kind of... worked out their conflict in season 1. Their conflict in season 2 wasn’t really a conflict between each other but rather a mutual love of Nancy. If you make them both fall out of love with Nancy with a ploy of getting them together... what the f are they arguing about? Where’s the conflict? Sure, you could go back to a point in canon where they hate each other and try and work it out from there but it’s already been resolved satisfyingly in canon, so yeah, you’ve got to make up a conflict between them. In the show, they barely mention each other outside the context of Nancy.

With Harringrove, however, the conflict is still there. It’s never been resolved. It’s FUN to resolve it. It’s fun to take this testosterone fuelled rivalry that is driving them to extremes and instead take it to another extreme. Their rivalry is borne out of them occupying the same space and the same circles in this high school to the point where they’re totally obsessed with each other. To get them romantically interested in each other doesn’t involve removing key ingredients of their rivalry. And it’s FUN. It’s FUN to flesh out more sides of these characters, to explore different sides to Billy who, if I may point out, we kind of barely scratched the surface of in canon. His dad beats him up. His mom left him as a kid. He’s macho af and wants to go back to California. He flirts with 40something women at the pool. There’s a lot to explore there that ISN’T explored in the show. He’s extremely convenient to explore the backstory of. (And it very definitely helps that this rivalry is going on between two of the hottest male cast members...)

The one thing I will say most of all in defence of Harringrove (and specifically as a Harringrove shipper) is that I’m also generally very on board with exploring it the other way, where it doesn’t end with them getting together but rather where the rivalry gets worse and worse. Because that is just as interesting. For all the fics that exist that take Harringrove from where they are in the show to a healthy romantic relationship, I can name just as many fics where they stay rivals and it all builds to a nightmarish head, and these are actually usually MORE interesting to me because it delves massively into the flip side of that blank slate, where Billy stays a bully and thoroughly unredeemable but also is just absolutely fascinating. Because the relationship between Steve and Billy is what’s interesting, because it’s unresolved by the time Billy leaves the show in s3. It’s open. It’s interesting. It’s fun.

That’s not to say that there aren’t poorly written fanfics out there where the relationship is still hella abusive and the author doesn’t seem to realise it as they have Steve forgive Billy for lashing out violently or something. Those definitely do exist. But if this reaches a Harringrove anti and you want a couple of good fics that explore the Billy and Steve relationship, hmu and I’ll send over a couple of fics! ❤️