#despite all that; mac and smith are still BROTHERS you know

[popfizzles]

HAVE MAC AND SMITH MAKE UP THEY NEED IT AND I NEED TO SEE IT

...

[golddustrora]

kristine froseth + she/her + cis female – have you seen aurora grady around long beach? the twenty four year old can be spotted at the tall wall during their free time. word around the city is that they’re eccentric and hard working, yet, they can also be reckless and hot headed, but you didn’t hear that from me. they’re currently a waitress at two spoons and a skillet and have been in the city for fourteen years. when i think of them, i think of fleetwood mac blasting out of a jacked up van, the smell of vanilla and cigarette smoke, a crooked smile that can light up a room. they’re typically seen walking the streets of long beach with a cigarette in one hand and a can of cherry coke. let’s hope the city treats them well!

Trigger warning for mentions of child endangerment, violence, sin tbh

BASICS

Full Name: Aurora Rivers Grady 

Nickname: Rora, Ror, Easy A, Blondie 

Age: 24

Hair color: dirty blonde, long with a natural slight wave 

Eye color: blue 

Piercings: ears, nipples, tongue 

Tattoos: too many to count, most notable is her infamous tramp stamp 

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Occupation: Waitress at two spoons and a skillet 

Positive Traits: Creative, Adventurous, Humorous, Laidback

Negative Traits: Reckless, Snarky, Self-destructive, Closed off

CHARACTER PLAYLIST

Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne 

Fade Into You - Mazzy Star

Gypsy - Fleetwood Mac

Dancing Barefoot - Patti Smith

AESTHETICS

Hickies on your neck, ta southern drawl that never quite went away, the lingering smell of cigarette smoke mixed with cheap vanilla perfume, running from the cops, a cold can of cherry coke, chipped nail polish, smudged eyeliner, your favorite pair of worn-in vans, throwing up middle fingers too much 

MINI BIO

Aurora Grady never really had a fighting chance at life. Born to two idiot teenage parents, they were the kind of couple who should have not gotten together, nor had a child for that matter. So, you can safely say that her childhood was quite chaotic. It was not out of the ordinary for them to constantly be evicted from whatever apartment or duplex they were living at, being forced to flee for temporary housing. Sometimes that consisted of a friend's place, homeless shelter, whatever beater car they had, or just the cold streets of the small in Georgia. Rora had many different “definitions” of home. Still, she didn’t fully resent her parents, she knew they were trying despite the odds stacked against them.

Eventually her parents were deemed not good enough to properly raise little Rora, so full custody was placed with the only distant relative CPS was able to get in contact with. Her father’s oldest sister, who had been currently living all the way in California. The older woman would be able to properly give her a safe place to live and flourish, unlike her brother who were too on and off and involved in other matters. 

 She began living with her at the age of ten and oh boy, she gave her hell from the start. You see, Aurora was often bullied because of her looks and personality. Being the new girl with the funny accent and the crooked teeth made her an easy target and be mocked. This went on for most of her young life until one day she chose to stop being the victim. 

The young girl found most of her confidence through hanging around with the not so great crowds of Long Beach - the outcasts and burnouts. They were a group of guys and gals who didn’t judge her and welcomed her with open arms. They were people who grew up in similar rough backgrounds so it was easy for her to fit in with them.

So, as early as thirteen, fourteen years old she was spending late nights at The Tall Wall. Chain smoking cigarettes, finishing off full bottles of vodka, and hooking up with randoms. Half the time her aunt didn’t know where she was and it made her worried sick. Her reckless behavior definitely put a bad strain on their relationship but Aurora didn’t care. 

When Aurora was seventeen, she got into a nasty fight with another girl at a club while she was extremely drunk and under the influence. The fight almost turned deadly, the other girl being hospitalized with a serious blow to her head. Aurora was sent to juvie for a year and a half due to the fight and other charges that were caught up on her.

Flash forward 1.5 years, she is released from juvie and put on probation. With nowhere else to go, she had no choice but to move back in with aunt. Even though the older woman was not proud of her past actions, she couldn’t leave her to the streets. 

Being forced to try to clean up her act, she becomes a waitress at Two Spoons and a Skillet. It’s far from her dream job but it’s something. Rora is trying to put enough money away to eventually get her own place and maybe consider signing up for a few college classes.

Right now.....she’s just kinda vibing w life atm?? Just wanting to enjoy being young and dumb, trying to make semi better life decisions 

OTHER FUN FACTS

Was known as “Easy A��� in high school due to her frequently hooking up with people and getting an STI as a result 

A rumor was spread around that she was a witch and Rora never confirmed or denied it lmfao

Drives a beat up 70′s van that she adores even tho it’s a piece of shit and barely runs. She loves to hotbox inside of it and the back of it is decorated all cute n cozy for a perfect smoking spot!!

She plays keys for Velvet Groove and loves it <3 

She dropped out of high school when she was seventeen due to flunking out of her classes and well, not giving a shit 

Has many tattoos and piercings, her favorite is her tongue piercing and her tramp stamp she got during one of her many drunken nights 

Runs on spite and cherry coke 

Her favorite candy is sour patch kids 

Constantly is missing her alarm

If she doesn’t have her morning cigarette, she is cranky AF

Always making mix tapes for the different seasons, general vibes, and for her close friends

Her other music icon is Stevie Nicks, Fleetwood Mac being a band that she can always recall her aunt playing during Sunday mornings or in the car. 

Her style is very whimsigoth meets punk/alternative. She thrifts most of her clothing and her style inspiration is heavily drawn from Stevie Nicks. Joan Jett, and other female musicians. She can be found in mini skirts, slip dresses, long maxi skirts, baby tee’s, band merch, etc.

Makes her own DIY jewelry and sometimes sells it to other people for quick cash 

Currently attending anger management classes as part of her probation plan, she needs to learn to control her “frustrations” better.

Def enjoys the devil’s lettuce :-) 

FULL BIO

Coming soon.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 124

Second half of the exhibition!  Mac’s performance here is based on an actual incident that occurred with one of the many actual cats that Mac is based on.

Trigger warnings for blood here.

Thanks go to @baelpenrose for his beta-reading and Arthur, @zommbiebro for Jokul, @books-and-cartoons for GK, @werewolf2578 for Michael and all the other characters you have added to this story, and @charlylimph-blog for her characters. <3 you both!

“Who is competing in the canine rounds?” Coffey asked, steering the topic smoothly. 

“Myself,” Grandma Kim gestured. “Michael and Sparkles, Derek and Machiavelli, for the service round. I believe there are a few more for the security round, but I don’t recall whom.”  From GK, that was basically saying they were so far beneath her notice that she refused to learn their names.

A chime sounded, indicating that the intermission had ended. Arthur, Coffey, and I made our way back into the stands, waving to Simon as he worked his way onto the sidelines. Ivan had initially come down ahead of me and Maverick, but was also packing the floor with the competitors for the upcoming events. As soon as we took our seats, Evania announced the next event - sure enough, it was the service and security animal exhibitions.

Rather than the participants stepping forward, Antoine took the floor after Evan. “Previously, these events were separated and considered the ‘canine’ events.  However, it has been brought to my attention, most ardently, that service and security animals are not limited to canines, even with the limited amount of animals we currently have on the Ark. As such, we are combining the service and security events, and this year there is a non-canine participant.  Due to the nature of the exhibition, I will be personally monitoring from the sidelines in case there is any need for interventions.  Also, as with in the past, please be assured that all participants in these events are volunteers and a med bay is on standby.”

Medbay is on standby? I wondered. I didn’t recall that before, but I also hadn’t paid more attention than was necessary to know how many jerky treats to give Lyric and Sparkles.

First up was our veteran, Lyric the First. The elder stateswoman of Ark companions may have hobbled onto the field, but she went through her paces as a service animal with tidy precision. On top of that, the second the ‘security’ portion started and someone brandished a weapon at GK, all concept of ‘elder’ went out the window and Lyric became 120lbs of teeth and fury, daring the faux-attacker to come within six feet of her charge.

I could feel Coffey shudder beside me, at the same time that I could see Arthur nod with approval.  I couldn’t lie - there was a part of me that remembered this same dog standing over me when Maverick first dropped by unexpectedly, and I was warmed to know that I had been so safe in that moment.

After the applause due such a respected member of the community, Lyric the First was taken off the field, and it was Lyric II’s turn to show how she lived up to the name.  Sure enough, she displayed the same precision in the service animal rounds, but it was clear that she knew this was for show in the security segment.  Rather than the degree of savagery her mother had shown, Lyric II was clearly a little confused by the fake-attack.  She still received her applause and treats, however, while GK was obviously considering how much more training was needed.

Michael and Sparkle were next, and their performance was on-par with Lyric the First. Rather than having Sparkle function as a service animal for Michael, Sam had volunteered. The moment loud noises started to upset Sam, Sparkle nudged him into a prone position and brought his ribbon over.  If someone tried to step to close, she calmly pushed them back. Due to her youth, Michael did step in for the security portion - Sparkle wasn’t trained to decide between security and support yet - and that was where she shined.  Without hesitation, she took a defensive stance at any aggression toward Michael, and really did Lyric the First proud.

And then, the fourth round happened. That was what set the crowd’s eyebrows on end, the round with non-stop chatter throughout.

On the contrary to the rounds with both Lyrics and Sparkle, there was no leash, there were no steps to walk through. Instead, the crowd saw Derek Okafor walk out, carrying a lavender blanket and pillow, with a solid mass of feline ink trailing behind him.  Rather than lead Mac through any actions, Derek set the pillow down, curled up on the floor, and covered himself with the blanket.  In an action I had witnessed on more occasions than I could count, Mac curled his impressive mass on the blanket, just outside of Derek’s elbow.  Directed audio amplified Mac’s purring so everyone could hear it, even in the furthest seats.

Suddenly, the audio in the gym played discordant noises.  Not even waiting for Derek to flinch, Mac darted under the blanket and a lump erupted where Derek’s ear had been.  After a moment, the sound cut off, and instead a bowl of food - one so strong-smelling that I could catch it from my seat - was brought out. Mac poked his nose out and started sneezing convulsively, hissing at the bowl as he moved towards it.

The coup de grace was what came next. Without warning, as soon as the bowl was taken away, someone darted towards Derek from the other side. I could actually feel my soul chuckle for this poor slob as I anticipated what would happen.

Sure enough, Mac became a blur of void and vaulted over Derek, clawing the interloper from elbow to wrist, then from thigh to knee. He hissed and spat, clawing at anything and anyone that came within reach.  Nothing could stop the ball of feline fury until Derek darted out an arm to scoop Mac back under the blanket while the poor volunteer - who looked like they had a bad date with a Cuisinart - was led to the aforementioned med bay.

“I’m not sure they knew they were signing up for this,” I murmured to Maverick and Coffey.

Coffey made a firmly negative gesture. “I assure you that they were aware. That particular volunteer? She has been Machiavelli’s training target for three months now.”

“Why?” I sputtered.

“Some people are afraid of dogs,” Coffey shrugged. Given his clear discomfort watching both Lyrics perform, it made more sense suddenly.  I knew he wasn’t afraid of dogs - he kept treats in his pocket for Lyric and Lyric II, at all times - but we weren’t far enough removed from Earth to make everyone comfortable with the kinds of dogs that worked best as service animals.

A cat, though? I knew from a lifetime of experience that nothing was as persistent or vicious as a cat, when properly motivated.

The audience was respectfully silent until Mac and Derek left the gym, before cheering wildly.  Even from where I was sitting, I could hear people talking about the potential of having a cat once the colony was established.  As a firmly devoted cat owner, I couldn’t even make up an excuse to argue.

Arthur leaned over so I could hear him clearly. “You never told me you have an attack cat.”

“I’ve always had them,” I admitted. “I just didn’t know it wasn’t a normal thing.”

“Mac is a good kitty.”

“The best kitty,” Coffey corrected with a grin. At some point, he had adopted Derek as a younger brother/nephew figure, and by extension doted on Mac to the point of chemical warfare.

“The only kitty,” I pointed out. I would have loved for the Ark to have ship cats, but we had learned - the hard way - that genetic enhancements were necessary for them to thrive in the gravity we were operating under.  It was part of the reason Mac was so large - four years ago, he had actually undergone a heart transplant so his vasculatory system would function in the increased gravity. Where Lyric II and Sparkles had benefited from what Miys learned from the original Lyric, Mac was the original.

The next event was thrown projectiles, so I took the opportunity to go grab some popcorn and sausage-rolls for the last two events. No one in my family was participating in the javelin/spear exhibition, but I knew that Xiomara and Evan would be eyeing these candidates closely for colonial security, so I made a point to pay attention. However, despite my original reason for keeping an eye on the event, I found myself fascinated. Each spear had a different range for accuracy, a different technique for throwing… I found myself filing the information away for later, anticipating a very rousing conversation with our Councillor of Security and her protege. Ivan Thorsson, to nobody’s surprise, excelled.

However, the last event of the exhibition was finally at hand - archery.  Charly had made several attempts to have this event be its own exhibition - the projectiles were not thrown, nor were they combustion - but a sheer lack of participants inevitably led to the sport being included with the ‘non combustion’ weapons exhibition, in the same way the animal companion events were.  On the plus side, participation this Von-year made a strong case for archery being its own event.

Participants were allowed ten arrows, ten targets, and fifteen minutes to fire all arrows. Bows could be any size, but had to be pulled by hand - no crossbows, no hooks to draw. Targets were only 25cm in diameter, and any shots that missed the desired target were counted off, with a double ‘friendly fire’ deduction if the arrow hit an entirely different target.

Even with all the restrictions, there were no less than twelve participants in this event, more than any other.

Maverick was first. While he was exceptionally precise, his Shinto-style did not lend itself well to speed. Next came Tyche, who landed killing hits on every shot, though with far less aplomb than her knife-throwing had shown. Arthur had a similar result - fast and deadly, but less accurate than Maverick - before MIchael Smith took the stage again, to my surprise.

My jaw hit the floor as he pulled just as fast as Tyche and Arthur, with the same accuracy of Maverick. Very few people took part in multiple exhibitions, and to see him do so well in three was a shock.  Nonetheless, he swapped out with the next participant with zero acknowledgement of his performance.

After that, the event continued: several people I did not recognize, before all that was left were Conor and Charly.  Similar to his style of throwing knives, Conor drew ambidextrously and over the shoulder. The connection was crystal clear as you watched his motion - a smooth draw, looped into a pull and release.  The only difference was that, where he would throw a knife, he would draw the arrow.

Next, I expected Charly, but what I saw made my head spin: Simon Rodriguez stepped out of a back room, with a longbow and a quiver full of arrows.  Even more incredibly, he did not stand in front of any specific target, but stood in the center of all ten.  With one deep breath, he started drawing from his waist, firing and drawing, arrow after arrow, in a smooth, mechanical motion.

Every arrow struck the center of the target.

The blood drained from my face as I realised why Tyche had threatened Conor with allowing Simon to use him for target practice…. I had no idea, at the time, that Simon was such an incredible shot. Immediately, I felt guilty.

Before I could apologize to him, Charly and her bow walked out. Speaking now felt like an obscenity, since this was the reason so many people were still here. Sure enough, as soon as the targets were replaced, she displayed a foreign calm as she fired shot after shot.

Ten shots. Ten exact centers. Ten arrowheads protruding from the back of targets by a minimum of two inches.

Twelve seconds total.

The transition between Simon and Charly took place so quickly that I had no idea who the applause was for - the Twelve Second Sorceress, or her clear protege. Either way, the end of the exhibition was explosive, to say the least.

I turned to Conor, ready to apologise for not taking the previous threat as serious at it was, when he said something that made me slap my face and groan.

“Bless it, do you think Simon will show me how to do that?”

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[salvatoreschool]

8 Things We Hope to See in Legacies Season 2

The return of Legacies is just around the corner! The Vampire Diaries and The Originals spin-off returns for its second season in October, when we will finally find out what happened to Hope (Danielle Rose Russell) after that jaw-dropping Season 1 finale that saw Hope jump into Malivore — with Landon's (Aria Shahghasemi) brother Clarke (Nick Fink) in tow — in order to stop it from opening and releasing all the monsters that had been imprisoned inside.

Now all memories of Hope have been erased, with her various loved ones unable to even remember she existed. But this Hope-less world isn't going to be a replica of Lizzie's wish world in which Hope never existed. Despite Landon, Alaric ( Matt Davis), Josie (Kaylee Bryant), and the others being unable to remember Hope, they will be aware that something is missing from their lives; they just won't be able to identify precisely what that is.

Check out everything to expect of Legacies Season 2 in the video above, and read on for our eight biggest hopes (pun totally intended) for what's next on the supernatural drama.

1. They don't draw out Hope and Rafael's predicaments too long.

While we're curious to see what Hope's experience inside Malivore is like and what Rafael (Peyton Alex Smith) does while trapped in his wolf form, what we're really interested in is seeing how these experiences affect them moving forward. Only when all of our favorite characters are back together will we truly be able to dig into how grave the consequences from the events in the Season 1 finale are. We're also excited by the chance to see interesting new dynamics between our heroes, many of whom will likely be drastically changed by what they've undergone. So don't spin your wheels too long, Legacies, because we want to get into the meat of this season ASAP.

2. We get some clarity on what Malivore is and isn't.

A golem, a hell dimension, a father, formerly a pit of black goo — Malivore contains multitudes. But the logic of how exactly Malivore is all of these things at once remains a bit murky. It would be great if this season could establish more ground rules that make what Malivore is and isn't capable of easier to understand. The more we know about how powerful Malivore is, the more terrifying Malivore will be as a Big Bad.

3. Backstories for M.G. and Kaleb.

Season 1 revealed M.G.'s (Quincy Fouse) family is a lot more interesting than we ever would have guessed when it came out that his mother was the leader of Triad. However, creator Julie Plec told TV Guide that there aren't plans to make Triad a big part of Season 2, which means we likely won't see too much of M.G.'s mom clashing with her son this season. Still, even though we might not get to see a lot of M.G.'s complicated family dynamics in the present, it'd be nice to find out more his family dynamics in the past. We're dying to know more about how he became a vampire in the first place and what happened with his parents when they first discovered what had befallen their son. Additionally, it would be great if Season 2 featured a lot more of Kaleb (Chris Lee), who really evolved over the course of Season 1 from a total prick to one of our favorite Salvatore School students. Legacies could benefit a lot from fleshing out its ensemble of characters, and an easy way to do that would be to dig into Kaleb's history before joining the Salvatore School and explore how his past shaped him into the person we met at the beginning of the series.

4. More vampire action!

Having a school for supernatural students is such a fun premise, but it felt like so many of the monsters they faced were defeated primarily by witchcraft. With the three leading female characters all witches (Hope has yet to die and activate her vampire side) it makes sense why this would be the case. But that being said, let's up the vampire action in Season 2! We want to see more fangs, compulsion, super-speed, and all the stuff that helped make The Vampire Diaries and Originals edge-of-your-seat TV.

5. Alaric's love interest actually sticks around.

Why can't Alaric ever be happy?! That's the true mystery of The Vampire Diaries universe. With Emma (Karen David) off on her "sabbatical," aka Fear the Walking Dead, and Alaric almost definitely out of a job at the Salvatore School, we're really hoping the poor man catches a break. It does seem he's getting a new love interest in Sheriff Mac (Bianca Kajlich), but just giving him someone to romance isn't enough to appease us at this point; we're looking for Alaric to find his next great love — and for her to survive long enough for them to earn a real happily ever after.

6. A Decade Dance.

We got Miss Mystic Falls last season; now it's about time we get a Decade Dance! The period-themed dances were a beloved staple of The Vampire Diaries, and seeing as Season 2 is introducing a few new human characters, this seems like a perfect opportunity to bring them back. And if Legacies can't give us a Decade Dance this season, could we at least get a Founders' Day ball or something? Just don't leave us hanging completely, OK, Julie?

7. More insight into what being a phoenix means for Landon.

The revelation that Landon is actually a phoenix was inspired. (Who saw that coming? Seriously.) But in the middle of trying to stop Malivore from opening and Lizzie (Jenny Boyd) and Josie finding out about The Merge, we didn't really have a lot of time to dwell on what exactly comes with being a phoenix other than, you know, rising from the dead. Does this mean Landon is immortal? Does he have any other special powers? We gotta know, and we're sure Landon is curious too!

8. Way more cameos from The Originals and The Vampire Diaries stars.

This really goes without saying, doesn't it? As of now, nothing has officially been announced, but Plec has told us that she believes there's a good chance we'll see some of the Originals this season. While we're still holding out for a cameo from Kai (Chris Wood), seeing some of Hope's family would be a pretty great consolation prize.

Legacies returns Thursday, Oct. 10 at 9/8c on The CW.

[earthnashes]

And here we go, the first batch of the human character designs, featuring the CMC Gang! Spike is essentially an honorary member in this AU, but the four of them are best buds. :3 I added them with their respective pet to give a very rough estimate of their size differences, but I might tweak them when I have the whole cast finished and put together in a legitimate height chart. Buuuuut until then, let’s talk about these characters real fast!

-Sweetie Belle is eight years old, the adopted daughter of Luna and adopted cousin to Spike, the two of them act more like siblings than they do cousins. Sweetie Belle never had a childhood spent with either of her birth parents: she has a note from them, explaining why they had to give her up and reassuring her just how much they loved her, and though she is questioning and somewhat sad over it, she believes what they said whole-heartedly. She’s the one who gets picked on the most, if only because she’s smaller and less likely to confront her bullies, but her friends and big cuz has her back. Rarity may form a personal connection with Spike due to their similar history, but Rarity is just as fond of Sweetie: the girl treats the cat like some sort of princess kitty, and she very much appreciates it. She kinda reminds Rarity of Opal too.

- Scootaloo is 9 years old and lives with her aunts (yes the two are married) Holiday and Lofty. Despite them being her aunts though, Scoots prefers calling Holiday Mama and Lofty Mom: they’re more parental figures to her than her birth parents are, that’s for sure. She’s is essentially Dash’s owner and in this AU, has a prosthetic leg that starts a bit more below her knee. She lost her leg to a car accident: a careless driver was texting and ran a red light, nearly hitting the CMC while they were walking to get to school. Without much thought to her own safety, Scoots rushed forward and pushed them all out of the way; she, unfortunately, still got one of her legs caught underneath the speeding car and it mangled it enough to where it had to be amputated. The driver is still at large. 

Scootaloo bravely works hard to adjust to her new prosthetic but some days are hard for her to cope with both the pain and the sadness of losing her leg in the first place. Luckily her aunts and friends are forever supportive of her, and for that Scootaloo is grateful, far more than they could ever know.

- Apple Bloom is 10 years old and the only child of her deceased parents, so she lives with her Granny Smith on Sweet Apple Acres. Granny and AB work the farm with their beloved family dogs, Applejack and Big Mac, though they do hire on some help in order to better maintain the large stretch of land. AB loves her doggos and takes them just about everywhere she could possibly take them: on show-and-tell day her first year of school, she legit showed up to school riding on Big Mac’s back like a horse: certainly left the impression. Due to her unusually accurate understanding of what the animals communicate to her, she’s sometimes called “The Disney Princess” among her peers, not that she minds much. Due to being the oldest (older than Spike by a few months), she often acts as the big sister of the group, sometimes leading their ragtag team of friends into mischief but always looking out for everyone.

-Spike is 10 years old and the adopted child of Celestia. As the second oldest of the group Spike takes it upon himself to look after the group just as much as AB does, but he’s a bit more of a mother hen than he is a big brother in that aspect. While Spike may seem like a relatively normal kid, he carries with him a rough past. He comes from a rather abusive household: what exactly they’ve done to him, no one truly knows since he won’t talk about it, but what is known is his parents took him one night on a long, long drive before stopping the car and telling him to get out. And once he did, they just sped off into the night, leaving a younger Spike to stand on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, with nothin’ but his PJs and his favorite dragon teddy to accompany him.

Spike suffers from PTSD and has a mild case of diabetes, hence his reliance on his dog Twilight in this AU.

----------------

Sooo yep, there ya go! This was a lot of fun to draw! Up next, some of the teenaged cast in the AU, including Starlight, Trixie, and Sunburst!

Until then if you have any questions feel free to ask. ^.^

[krycss]

Crossroads | oc:Alice Harkins/Arthur Morgan/Charles Smith

Prologue: Alice Joins A Gang

[Read on AO3]

 - Next Chapter

I won't be changing anything from the canon, despite how sad some things might get, except for the fact that my character will be along for some of the missions. Yes, that means THAT is going to happen - I’m sorry. Or am I?

Alice Harkins joined the Van der Linde gang from it's early days. Growing up alongside the older Arthur Morgan, she can't help but feel an attraction to the man who taught her so much. When the gang gets the addition of one Charles Smith, Alice quickly realizes she's found herself in quite the predicament: She loves them both and both men not only share the feelings towards her, but towards each other as well. As the gang moves on from the tragedy at Blackwater, the three find themselves at a crossroads, embarking on a strange but happy journey together. Can they find a way to maintain their relationship while the gang that brought them together begins to crumble around them?

Alice Harkins was twelve years old when her life was turned, quite literally to ash. Living in a small town in Missouri, Alice just so happened to be away from home one blistering summer eve when her family’s home was burned down. By the time she returned, her home was but a pile of smoldering timber, thick black smoke swirling high into the sky. Her ma, pa, and younger brother were scattered about the yard – gun shots in each of their bodies the only evidence to what had happened.

Alice spent the next four years wandering from town to town. A shell of her former self. The happy little red-headed child was now a struggling teen, trying to survive in this cruel world. She became a pickpocket over the years. Stealing trinkets and money in order to afford food and, if she was particularly lucky, a roof over her head for a night.

It was one fateful afternoon that Alice spotted a new man wandering the streets of the backwater town she was currently holed up in. His carefree attitude and easy-to-pick satchel made him the perfect target in Alice’s eyes. She tailed him for most of the evening and when he finally stopped into the local saloon Alice made her move. At sixteen she knew just how to distract men – despite how degrading it made her feel. Adjusting her bodice she casually made her way over to the bar. From this close she could see just how handsome the man was. His dark blond hair fell in short tresses, just barely past his ears. But what drew her to him were his eyes – she spent far too long trying to decide if they were blue or green. Perhaps both. She found it easy to chat with the man, Arthur Morgan, she learned his name was. Perhaps it was his friendly demeanor, but Alice found herself telling Arthur things she had never told any of her other victims – about her family and growing up alone. She wasn’t too worried, she’d never see the man again.

The two spent what felt like hours in the saloon with casual conversation and a handful of drinks – although Alice was careful to simply nurse hers. When night fell Arthur made his farewell, leaving the saloon on wobbly legs with Alice’s help in getting down the rickety saloon stairs. As she helped him to the stables where he said he left his horse, Alice took advantage of his inebriated state to begin rifling through his satchel. She felt the distinct feel of money and various other items – despite its size the bag seemed to hold quite a lot of things for some reason. She continued laughing at whatever silly thing happened to come out of Arthur’s mouth. She just needed a few more seconds. Gripping onto the bills she went to pull her hand out when Arthur quickly grasped her wrist. His slurring had stopped and he pulled her around to the side of the stable, suddenly less drunk than before. Alice quickly realized she was the one who had been played.

“Little lady,” His voice rumbled lowly, “if you’d like to keep your hand, I’d suggest letting go now.”

Alice stared wide-eyed at the man. His face remained dark, but there was a hint of something behind his eyes – amusement?

Alice sighed.

“I have to admit, Mr. Morgan, this is a tad bit embarrassin’.” She sulked.

“It was clever, I’ll give ya that.” Arthur released her wrist. “But you’ve still got some learning to do if you’re going to continue this here line of work.” He hummed thoughtfully.

“What in the world are you talkin’ about?”

Arthur stared at her, his eyes staring down into her light blue ones.

“Not sure.” He scratched at the scruff on his chin. “I may have a proposition for you though. Meet me at the saloon, same time tomorrow? If you’re willing.”

Alice’s eyes widened.

“I was just robbin’ you…and you want to see me again?” She scoffed, crossing her arms.

Arthur laughed, it was a sharp thing but Alice felt herself fighting a smile at it.

“Let’s just say I know someone who might be able to help you out.”

“And who says I need help?”

Arthur stared down at her. Her head only reached his chest.

“Just think on it. I gotta get goin’.”

He waved her off as he entered the stable.

 The next day Alice argued with herself for hours, and continued to argue with herself as she sat at a table in the corner of the saloon. Just as she was considering leaving for the umpteenth time that night, in walked Arthur Morgan, followed by another man. The other man was slightly older, black hair framing his sharp face. He held himself high, dressed in clothes far too sharp for him to be a local. The two sat down at the table with Alice.

“Glad to see you again, little lady.” Arthur smirked.

Alice huffed.

“Dutch, this is…Alice, yes?” Arthur looked for confirmation. “Alice, this here is Dutch.”

Alice stared at the man. The name sounded slightly familiar but she couldn’t remember if she’d seen him before.

“A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, miss.” Dutch smiled. “Arthur here tells me you have the makings of a rather fine pickpocket with the right help.”

There was no judgement from the man before her, in fact, Alice thought he seemed a little too eager. Apparently Arthur had told Dutch the things Alice had told him about herself. She regretted it immediately.

“We’ve got a family, of sorts, a small, ragtag group of people just like you. And we’d be more than happy to have you join us – if you’re willing. We’ve been in need of someone with your particular skillset for a while now.” Dutch’s eyes gleamed in the lantern-light of the saloon.

“What kind of group needs a pickpocket?” Alice questioned.

Arthur leaned forward.

“The kind that makes a habit of surviving doing very similar things.”

“So…a gang?” Alice lowered her voice at the end.

Dutch hummed in agreement.

Alice’s brain kicked into gear.

“Are-Are you Dutch’s Boys?!” Alice whispered loudly.

Arthur’s back straightened up as he glanced around, making sure no one heard. Dutch simply laughed heartily.

“Ya’ll have been causing quite a storm with all your robberies of late”

Ever since their first big heist in 1887, Alice had been following the news of the gang robbing their way across the Midwest through whatever means over the past two years. She never learned how to read before her parents were killed so the most she got was from overhearing others talk about them.

Alice tried to hold her excitement in but it must have been apparent on her face as Dutch’s smile grew wide.

“That’s the goal, miss. And, if you’d like, we’d be more than willing to give you a place to stay if you’re willing to put in the work.” Dutch folded his hands on the table. “You’d have a family with us. Arthur here was just like you when we took him in – an orphan making it on his own on the streets.”

Arthur smiled fondly at Dutch, Alice could tell there was a deep respect for the man. She sat there for a moment, but she already knew her answer. Standing up, she held her hand out towards Dutch who was quick to grasp it between his own two hands.

 Alice quickly found herself playing the role of a sister to John Marston who was the same age as herself. They were taught to read together by the very friendly Hosea Matthews- who found Alice to be the better-behaved student. The other members of the gang at the time were Susan Grimshaw, who Alice found to be a hard but hardworking woman, Hosea’s wife Bessie, and Annabelle. Alice quickly took a shine to Arthur’s dog, Copper.

Her first few years with the gang were spent learning how to properly shoot by Arthur, picking up her pickpocket skills with the help of Dutch, and the learning how to better con people by Hosea. Over the years, since her time joining in 1889 to 1894 the gang went through many changes. The loss of Annabelle by Colm O’Driscoll was a stark reminder to Alice of how cruel the world is – eventually the gang would also lose Bessie, another reminder. However the gang also grew and prospered as they continued to travel. They met the Callander boys, Mac and Davey. Karen, Tilly, and Mary-Beth were added; Mary-Beth and Alice became quick friends with their shared skills. Pearson, Swanson, the lovable oaf Uncle soon joined as well. Sean MacGuire was quite the addition to the gang, followed by Molly O’Shea, and eventually Josiah Trelawny. By 1894 the gang was still growing and Alice found herself no longer haunted by the loss of her original family – she had found a new one. Bill Williamson joined around this time, followed by Abigail Roberts who Alice wasn’t sure how to feel about at the time. When Jack was born the gang quickly took a shine to the boy, helping Abigail to raise him. John left a year later and Alice was sad to see him go but a part of her understood – the two of them were close and she knew how he felt about the kid. Around this time Javier was introduced to the gang by Dutch. Alice was about the same age as him, twenty-three, and despite the language barrier at first, the two found a quaint friendship between one another.

It was around this time that her relationship with Arthur would begin to change as well. Everyone in camp knew the two were close – he was the one who brought her into the gang and showed her the ropes – and the teasing was relentless but it didn’t bother either of them. Besides, she would remind those who taunted her, he has that Mary woman, right? Even if they weren’t together anymore. As she grew up Alice couldn’t help but notice that sometimes her eyes would wander over to Arthur during his morning chores, watching his muscles tense beneath his shirt. It only increased in intensity as she got older. He was only ten years older than her, but that was enough for her to think that he only saw her as a little sister and as such, she kept her feelings to herself. It was during a rather emotional, drink-filled night that Arthur started [Alice later learned his drunkenness that night was due to what had happened with Eliza and Isaac] that it happened. The two eventually found themselves in the woods away from camp, just drunk enough to have no inhibitions but sober enough to remember what had happened. Strong emotions, heated gazes, and experimental kisses turned into a long night in the woods. At twenty-three, Alice was happy that her first time was with Arthur – someone she trusted. The two remained friends after the night, though not without a bout of awkwardness for the first few days afterword. It was just one drunken night, the two would agree on, it didn’t mean anything else.

By the time John returned in 1896 the gang began heading towards Montana. 1898 saw the gang in a bit of a rough patch for a while. The loss of Copper was hard on both Arthur and Alice. The gang ended up travelling into the Northern Grizzlies where they settled for a few months. Dutch even considered looking into getting some land for the gang but when that didn’t work the gang moved on. 1898 also brought in the latest members of the Van Der Linde gang – Lenny Summers, Jenny Kirk, Micah Bell, and Charles Smith. Alice adored Lenny and Jenny and their sprouting relationship. She shared the same thoughts Arthur did about Micah. And Charles, well, Alice found herself quickly intrigued by the man. Charles was the same age as Alice when he joined, twenty-six. Quiet and reserved, it took some time before he began opening up to the gang but he was quick to show his loyalty. Alice, despite her rowdy and extroverted nature, found herself often coaxing Charles into conversation around the campfire – even if it tended to be a little more one-sided on her part. She found that her eyes also began to seek out Charles around camp, much the same way they did with Arthur before. She tried to ignore what that meant.

When the gang made their way into West Elizabeth in 1899, camping just outside the growing town of Blackwater, Alice was twenty-seven and found herself caught between a rock and a hard place. She loved Dutch like a father, much like others, but when the planning of the Blackwater Robbery was underway, she found herself with Arthur and Hosea, scoping out a job of their own. By the time the three caught up with the rest of the gang after hearing what had happened, Alice knew she had made the right decision. John, Jenny, and Davey were all shot in the incident – Jenny and Davey ending up with the worse injured. Mac was unaccounted for, as well as Sean. Charles had somehow been injured, Alice helping him tend to the burns on his hand. The trip back into the Grizzlies on the run was a hard one. Fighting the law, the weather, and the low morale quickly put a dour mood throughout the gang.

Alice, ever the optimist, kept her head up. Surely it couldn’t get any worse.

Right?

~~~

Mostly just a timeline. I spent most of the day reading the wiki on the formation of the gang and pretty much ran with it.

[kerlonsource]

Cam newton team

#Cam newton team series#

#Cam newton team free#

#Cam newton team mac#

“But if Washington doesn’t, if he doesn’t get that job, what are we to think about the rest of Cam Newton’s career moving forward? Let’s think about that. I want to see that brother play again,” Smith said. Super Bowl Runners-Up: XXXVIII, 50 Franchise Leaders: Single-game passing yardage: Cam Newton, 432 yards Single-game rushing yardage: DeAngelo Williams. “I hope and pray Ron Rivera reaches out to Cam Newton, I do. A team with a more established starter - or able to provide a starting opportunity right away - might not have such a problem, though, and therefore it’ll be fascinating to see whether Washington or another organization reaches out in the coming weeks. Newton acknowledged last week in a wide-ranging interview that his “aura” would have made him a “distraction” behind Jones in New England. But what if he doesn’t? What if Rivera doesn’t make the call? What if Ron Rivera doesn’t make the call? What other team will - especially knowing that the guy who coached Cam for nine years, and needs a quarterback, still doesn’t bring him in?” Cam Newton: 5 Teams Who Are Interested in Drafting the Heisman Trophy Winner. 1 overall in the 2011 NFL Draft, Newton spent several years with the Carolina Panthers.

#Cam newton team free#

Ron Rivera should be calling him yesterday, to be quite honest with you. Cam Newton is once again a free agent this offseason. “Ron Rivera should be calling Cam Newton. Cam could use the extra time to continue to get healthy, stay in shape, and when the time comes and a team is in need, get ready for immediate, high level football.Cam Newton's NFL Career Over? Stephen A.

#Cam newton team series#

The best example of this would be Nick Foles (albeit already on the roster) stepping in to win a Super Bowl in Philadelphia. The Undefeated 'Another Act': NFL star Cam Newton talks about his digital BET series 'Sip 'N Smoke' 11:15 Stephen A. Hes the rare early cut that might draw interest from other teams, as he. The quarterback was a topic of much discussion. It looks like 2022 sixth-rounder Samuel Womacks two-pick game sealed Dennards fate. Regrettably, there seems to be a contending team each year that has an injury to a starting quarterback that requires emergency help. Cam Newton was a surprise release for the New England Patriots during the final cuts to the 53-man roster back in August. Joshua Dobbs is another possible option in Cleveland, but if the Browns are looking to put together a winning season, Cam could provide much needed assistance. Despite rumors connecting the Seattle Seahawks to free agent quarterback Cam Newton, the team does not appear poised to add the former.

#Cam newton team mac#

However, bringing in Cam on a relatively cheap deal doesn’t hurt and a second quarterback would be needed. Getty The Seahawks do not appear to be pursuing Cam Newton. The Patriots shocked the NFL when they released Cam Newton on cut-down day, handing rookie Mac Jones the starting job.Many thought the former NFL MVP was the clubhouse leader to start for New. Cam Newton is once again a free agent this offseason. So, this would not be uncharted territory for Brissett. Cam Newton Carolina Panthers (20112019) New England Patriots (2020) Carolina Panthers (2021) Quarterback 2011 / Round: 1 / Pick: 1 Carolina Panthers (. Cam Newton has received some NFL interest. Jacoby has won games in New England, Indianapolis, and Miami, all in backup roles after a Tom Brady suspension, Andrew Luck surprise retirement, and a Tua Tagovailoa injury respectively. Currently, the Browns only other quarterback is journeyman Jacoby Brissett. Cam Newton was candid while reflecting on his humanistic mistake when he fathered a child outside his previous relationship with ex-girlfriend Shakia Proctor. In a de facto “Baker for Cam” swap, the Browns could use a veteran quarterback on the roster in the likely event of a lengthy Deshaun Watson suspension. Plus, if the corpse of Ben Roethlisberger was able to get this team to a 9-7-1 record, then certainly Newtonwho dragged a barren 2020 New England Patriots roster to seven wins in his last.

[auburnfamilynews]

I really want to start this in some cliché way like, ‘What a decade it’s been for Auburn baseball!’ and I would be completely justified with that. Auburn started the 201Xs with an SEC Western Division Championship, the only one of those in the decade, and hosting their first regional since 1999 and the only one we have seen in these past 10 seasons (though Butch and the Boys got jobbed out of one two years ago). Following that was one of the most desolate stretches of baseball Auburn has seen. From 2011-16, Auburn would make one NCAA tournament appearance and win a single game, go through two coaches, going through one of those after fall practicing and forcing a first- time head coach to learn the players while actually playing real, meaningful games. October 21st, 2015 was the lowest point, but the 22nd is where you would see the line level out and begin to move back up. Butch Thompson was that first-time coach and began the March to Omaha. A ton of great players have graced the turf at Plainsman Park and I have witnessed or listened to most of the games during that time so here are the ones that I feel would be on my All-Decade team for the Auburn Tigers.

OUTFIELD AND DESIGNATED HITTER

LF: Jonah Todd (2017)

CF: Anfernee Grier (2014-16)

RF: Trent Mummy (2010)

DH: Kevin Patterson (2010-11)

Center Field - Anfernee Grier

There are going to be a ton of Honorable Mentions for this, so settle down all you new fans to Auburn baseball. Let’s start with one that I know people are asking, “Who?” Trent Mummy was the Tigers Right Fielder in the magical 2010 and finished in second for the batting title with a robust .366 average and was 3rd on the team in Home Runs with 17, despite missing half the games that season due to injury. Also, in Trent’s corner and a bit of a personal note, my buddies and I select a player each year that we believe will win the Dong Championship (Most Home Runs) and my brother selected Trent in the 2010 season. During one game that year, Trent showed bunt, pulled it back, and proceeded to crush one over K Korner for a 3 run bomb. I don’t think I have ever seen my brother freak out like that and never let us forget about the time he saw “The coolest thing he’s ever seen” (Love ya Will). Back to the list, Center Field was probably the toughest position to fill and you will see why when we get to Left Field. Anfernee Grier is the choice here because he was and still is an all-world talent, unbelieve range in the outfield who helped account for 364 Put Outs in his Auburn career and finished in the field with a .966 Field Percentage. As good as he was in the field, he was just as good at the dish, with a .323 BA over his career and 14 bombs and 35 stolen bases. His senior season was by far his best. A .366 BA, 41 RBIs, 12 HRs, a Slugging Percentage of .576 and matched his sophomore season with 3 triples. To Grier’s right hand side, I would put the man that took over Center for him in the 2017 season, Jonah Todd in Left Field. Todd was a Junior College transfer out of Marion Military Academy and all he did was fill the shoes of Grier and become a guy that Auburn fans would grow to love in just 63 games. Todd was everything you want in a ball player, gritty, tough and loved the game. As a lead off man at the dish, all Todd did was lead the team in BA with a .376 and was second in the SEC for the year. Think he beefed it up against non conference foes? Nope, Todd excelled in conference play batting .404. Oh and his 91 hits, were the most by an Auburn Tiger since a guy named Hunter Morris played. Todd was a Second Team All-SEC performer and also was named as an SEC All-Defensive team selection with only one error in the 17 season. Todd went from undrafted out of JC to a 6th round pick of the Angels in the 2017 draft and is still in the game today. At DH, I decided to go old school again and pick up Kevin Patterson. KP’s best season was his Junior year of 2010 where he was named the First Team All-SEC DH, batting .315 with six doubles, two triples, 16 bombs and 33 RBIs on the year. He was able to tally a .782 slugging percentage and popped up the BA to .407 against SEC competion.

Honorable Mention: Judd Ward in Left, Creede Simpson and Jay Estes in Center, Steven Williams in Right, Edouard Julien at DH

INFIELD

1B: Hunter Morris (2010)

2B: Casey McElroy (2010-11)

SS: Will Holland (2017-19)

3B: Demek Tomscha (2013-14)

C: Ryan Jenkins (2010)

US PRESSWIRE

First Base - Hunter Morris

Alright, let’s get to the slam dunk of the All-Decade team. The SEC Player of the Year in 2010, first Auburn player to win the award since Tim Hudson did it in 1997, Hunter Morris. Morris led the Conference in Slugging Percentage (.767), in hits (94), in home runs (20) and in total bases (1818), was second in runs scored (60), third in RBIs (67) and was fifth in Batting Average (.398) through the regular season. When it was all said and done, Morris would have a BA of .386 and 23 Home Runs on the year in 2010. Morris would be receiving soft tosses from a guy he knew well in Casey McElroy at second base. Though Ryan Bliss made a major push this past season and Luke Jarvis before him, I have to give the nod to C-Mac based only on work at the plate. McElroy batted .325 on that 2010 team while driving home 9 bombs and 43 RBIs. His Junior year was even more impressive at the dish, with a BA of .372 and driving in another 9 Home Runs despite the 2011 year being the first year of the ‘dead bat’ era. He was that dangerous back half of the lineup guy that teams hate to have to face. Casey’s Double Play partner would be none other than Will Holland. I really don’t need to introduce you to the Dutchman but that won’t stop me. Holland finished his Auburn career with a .256 BA, 24 dingers, 102 RBIs and was named Second Team All-SEC and First Team All-South Region by ABCA in his sophomore season. Though he didn’t have the offensive season he had hoped for in 2019, he was the unquestioned leader of the team outside of Tanner Burns and was one of the key cogs that helped the Tigers get back to Omaha in 2019. At Third Base is one of the lone bright spots from the dark years of 2011-16 on the field for the Tigers in Demek Tomscha, who carries the banner for other Tigers like Garrett Cooper, Ryan Tella, ‘Macho Man’ Patrick Savage and Daniel Robert just to name a few, who gave Tiger fans hope, even when the rest of the SEC had caught up with the Tigers in the early days of the baseball facilities race, a race that Auburn is slowly moving in to. Back to Tomascha, the Big Iowan had a career .293 BA with 12 Homers and had a fielding percentage of .955 at the hot corner while having only 18 errors in 165 attempts. Tomschas senior year was his best though, .313 BA with 5 HRs and 29 RBIs. Behind the dish is Ryan Jenkins. The man that wouldn’t be on this list if it weren’t for an injury earlier in his career, Jenks was given an extra year of eligibility from the NCAA and was allowed to play on the 2010 team. He took advantage, being named to the Second team All-SEC with a .365 BA (tied for 3rd best on the ‘10 team) and a robust .404 average against SEC teams. Though Jenkins was spelled by Tony Caldwell, he was the leadership glue, along with Morris, that got the 2010 team to the SEC Western Division title.

Honorable Mention: 1B – Garrett Cooper and Daniel Robert, 2B - Ryan Bliss and Luke Jarvis, 3B Dan Gamache and Josh Anthony, C – Blake Austin

PITCHING

Friday Starter: Casey Mize(2016-18)

Saturday Starter: Keegan Thompson (2014-15, 17)

Sunday Starter: Tanner Burns (2018-19)

Mid-week Starter: Grant Dayton (2010)

Relief: Cole Lipscomb (2014-17)

Relief: Andrew Mitchell (2016-18)

Relief: Austin Hubbard (2010)

Closer: Cody Greenhill (2018-19)

Todd J. Van Emst

Midweek Starter - Grant Dayton

One thing I believe we will all agree on is that the pitching in the back half of the decade has been head and shoulders above the first half. No offense to the likes of John Luke Jacobs, Corey Luckie and Slade Smith who all had solid careers in the first half but when you have six of the eight spots come from guys that hit their stride from 2015 on, that says something. The headliner is without question, Auburn’s first and only top draft pick Casey Mize. We will quickly hit the highlights of his masterful career. 2.95 ERA, 324 Ks, a WHIP of 0.44 and a 20-13 record that included 5 Complete Games (a rarity in college ball) that also included a no-no in his junior year (one batter away from a perfecto). Saturday’s Starter is the man that trained Casey on how to pitch Friday Nights, Keegan Thompson. Thompson was the backbone of the pitching staff through a disjointed career that involved a redshirt season due to an arm injury. For his career, Thompson posted a 2.46 ERA with a 19-10 record that included 4 complete games (two each in his Freshman and Sophomore season) and teams batted only .207 against him. He was drafted by the Cubs in the 3rd round and was the highest pitcher taken from Auburn, at the time, since Steven Register back in 2004. That takes us to the Sunday starter in the person of Tanner Burns. Burns is an absolute bulldog that gets after it in a big way. Last year, Burns was named a 3rd team All American by Perfect Game and so far in his career boasts a 2.92 ERA with an 11-8 with one complete game while only allowing teams to bat .222 against him. Burns will be the unquestioned Friday Night starter for the 2020 version of the Auburn Tigers who look to get back to Omaha for the second year in a row. For the midweek starter, because this is my list and I want an insane midweek starter, I will take Grant Dayton. Looking at only his 2010 stats, Dayton posted a 4.36 ERA with an 8-3 record while allowing teams to bat .269 against the Tigers 2010 Friday night starter. The thing to remember about the four pitchers above, each one of them started on Friday night’s and faced the best of the best in the SEC and in Dayton’s case, faced them in the BB-Core ‘live bat’ days.

That brings us to the relievers, headlined by Cole Lipscomb. Lipscomb was a starter for the Tigers until Casey Mize emerged as the dominate force he turned out to be. For his career, Lipscomb held a 3.55 ERA with a 14-7 record while holding teams to a .234 BAA. In his senior year, Lipscomb was an over powering matchup, as he was able to give the Tigers the long relief they needed to finish out games. You always need that ‘do anything you need him to guy’ in the pen and that guy was Andrew Mitchell. Need him to start 10 games in his freshman year? You got it, and he would go 4-4 in them. Need a reliable arm to give you a few outs to get you to Lipscomb? Mitchell’s your guy. Pitching staff needs a Sunday starter and you gotta have some solid innings? Yup, Andrew Mitchell. While his stats won’t blow you away, a 4.95 ERA and an 11-10 career record and a .256 BAA, I will take guys like Mitchell any day of the week to get me out of a sticky inning any day. After that inning though, who do you go to? If this was before 2018, the answer is Austin Hubbard. In 2010, Hubbard had a year to remember. In the live bat era, Hubbard post a 2.44 ERA with a 6-2 record and held opponents to a .239 BAA. However, I said before 2018, Hubbard would be my closer, after it though, is only one man.

The closer for the All-Decade team is Cody Greenhill. Twenty is the monster. The man teams hate to see in the 9th. The hard throwing righty from Russellville currently has a 2.87 ERA with an 8-6 record to his name with 17 saves (just 5 away from Austin Hubbard’s 22 in 4 years) in just 2 seasons. Greenhill has also shown he can go for a while to get the save, as The Bull has only gone 1 inning or less in 10 of his 49 career appearances.

Honorable Mention (from most recent to oldest): Elliott Anderson, Davis Daniel, Calvin Coker, Corey Herndon, Trey Cochran-Gill, Dillon Ortman, Rocky McCord, Corey Luckie, Jon Luke Jacobs, Sean Ray

There you have it. I’ve made my case for the All-Decade team for the Auburn Tigers. Who do you have? Did I miss someone or do you think one of the honorable mentions is more deserving? Make your case below and let the debate begin!

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/12/20/21031069/all-decade-team-auburn-baseball

[iwritehorsethings]

Applecore - MLP One Shot

Cross-post from FimFiction. If you enjoy, please consider following and giving a thumbs up!

Summary: Applejack thinks about the void she fills within her family.

Rating: Everyone

Genre: Drama, General

Written before “The Perfect Pear”.

Art by Kallarmo.

Beneath a lone apple tree on a tall hill, Applejack was finding herself concerned with the inevitable advance of time, a dimension she had always received without falter, but that particular summer evening had her preoccupied by the steady march of seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years...

Her brow furrowed over her green gaze as the setting sun painted long shadows over the land that four generations of her family had toiled with love and sweat. She could feel her pride, strong and healthy like a big barreled tree in her chest. Sweet Apple Acres was their home. It had been since Granny Smith and her kin had come to this valley and helped establish Ponyville.

So then where were Applejack's parents?

It was a question that the farm mare typically avoided wrestling with. Fretting over the endless wanderlust of her parents, Honeycrisp and Jonagold, wouldn't keep her family fed or the farm running. Granny Smith was too old for most of the chores, and Big Macintosh didn't understand more than half of the unique challenges a young filly like Applebloom struggled with. It was up to Applejack to lead her family in these regards. There was nopony else.

The responsibility didn't scare her. It settled over Applejack's strong withers like a familiar blanket, warm and soft, despite its weight. However, trickling down her heart as thick and as viscous as sap was a sense of loss. These seconds, minutes, and hours were irretrievable once they slipped through the sieve of existence into the hungry sea of yesterday. That was time her parents could never recover. All those moments, all those memories, all those experiences...gone. They had missed so many of Applejack's accomplishments, both in running their farm and in her service to the Equestrian kingdom with her friends. They had missed Applebloom singing on stage with her friends and Coloratura. At this rate, they stood to miss the day when Big Mac married, and worse yet, Granny Smith's final days.

The last Applejack had spoken to her parents face to face had been when she was a teenager, barely out of school. Applebloom was still a foal too young to begin her education proper. It was an early foggy morning, and the whippoorwills were still chirping sleepily in the orchards. Honeycrisp's bright red coat was hidden under an emerald cloak as she carried a basket of sundries to their covered wagon. Her muzzle, which was lightly frosted in a soft lime shade, was split wide in a grin when she told Applejack with a wink of her green eye, "We're off to unlock all the secrets of apples." When her daughter helped her load the basket onto the carriage, she added sagely, "After all, there's more to farmin' than sticking seeds into the ground!"

"Darn tootin'," Jonagold pitched in with an energetic whinny as he cantered over to his wife and daughter, the brim of his stetson hat tilted up high. Behind him trailed Granny Smith, and Big Macintosh, the latter carrying a young Applebloom. "There ain't no nobler a pursuit than the refinement of one's profession. Right, AJ?"

Applejack smiled, her chest puffing at her father's attention. "Yes, Pa! Nothin' nobler."

Jonagold laughed and ruffled her mane. "That's my girl!' He turned to the rest of the family. "Mama, ah know you'd rather we stick closer to the homestead and quit our roamin', but trust that your one and only son is carryin' on those supernal values you so determinedly hammered into his thick skull. Hoof shakin' and continuous discourse with prospective customers in this competitive mart o' commerce is the best way to ensure the longevity of our clan, so--"

"Jona, will you stop your highfalutin ramblin' and jes' get on that there wagon before I whop you a good'un?" Granny Smith snapped. "Heavens, you talk as if we ain't out here freezin' our flanks in this chill!"

Jonagold threw his blonde head back for a hearty laugh. "Oh! Mama, I do so love you. I'll count the days till you can whop me again," he chortled as he gave her a hug. He turned next to Big Mac, his head raising high with a smirk. "And you, son. Protect the mares. Don't shy from the hard jobs--you know these gals are strong, but you're the strongest. Got that?"

Big Mac mirrored the smirk on his father's soft orange face. "Eyup!" he said.

The older stallion patted a hoof on his son's shoulder. "Atta boy." Next he moved to kiss Applebloom on the head. "See ya soon, little filly. Pa loves you. Don't grow up too fast, y'hear?"

He turned around and regarded Applejack, his blue eyes meeting her green. Behind him, Honeycrisp said goodbye to her mother-in-law and other children. With a gentle smile, the stallion took off his stetson hat, and placed it upon his daughter's head. "And you, sugarcube. I trust you to help your brother keep the trees healthy and the bits flowin'. Ain't nobody got a greener touch than you, Applejack."

She beamed. "I promise to take care of the farm and the family, Pa. It's all in good hooves!"

He kissed her brow and stepped back to allow Honeycrisp to hug her daughter. "I know it is."

She couldn't have known how long she would be held to that promise. For all Applejack knew, it could extend into infinity the way her parents seemed to find more reasons to stay on the road, traveling ever further in their pursuit of new business and farming knowledge. So much time had gone by. The last letter she had received had been a year ago. In just that amount of time, Applebloom had earned her cutie mark. What other things would her parents miss out on? What if Granny Smith passed on? What if Big Mac had foals of his own? Applejack had no way of reaching her parents to send the news. No way of finding them, either.

The question of whether they truly loved their family above all else was an unwelcome thought, but AJ found herself unable to resist it as she glared at the setting sun, its dying light making her green eyes smolder.

"Applejack?" Granny Smith's voice called out to the mare from further down the hill.

Applejack turned, her eyes fluttering as she took in her granny making the arduous trip to join her granddaughter under the apple tree. The farm mare jumped to her hooves and trotted to her elder, her brow creasing with concern. "Granny, what do you think you're doing trottin' all the way out here with them creaky hips o' yours? I thought you were helping Applebloom with supper!"

"I was," Granny shot back with an affronted glare as she shook of AJ's attempt at walking her up the slope. "But then I saw you sittin' up here all on your lonesome and figgered somethin' must be wrong! Now I know I figgered right."

Applejack's ears pinned flat against her head. "Ah'm fine, Granny."

A graceless snort. "The hay you are."

Now the younger mare glowered. "Ah just wanted to think on my own for a while. Tain't nothing to raise the alarm about!"

Granny sighed, the lines of her aged eyes softening as she sat on the grass. "I saw the look on yer face when the mail was brought in. Today makes it a year, don't it?"

Applejack looked away without saying anything.

Granny Smith placed a hoof on her granddaughter's back. "Applejack, if there's one thing I learnt about your father early on, it was that he was a rollin' stone. It's how he met yer mother. It's how our family's apples have become a staple of Equestria."

"So that makes it okay that he and Ma miss so much?" Applejack retorted heatedly. "I'm grateful for the work they do, but is it really necessary for my parents to leave us behind for so long? I thought Apples were s'posed to plant roots, not blow in the wind!"

The elderly mare's lips puckered. "Ah wonder," she said slowly. "What really has ya so riled up, granddaughter. You mad a'cuz you feel your folks haven't been here, or a'cuz you're afraid you ain't enough to fill their horseshoes?"

Applejack scowled. "You know I don't shy from work, and I'd do anythin' for our family!"

"I know that. But yer just one mare, Applejack. Big Macintosh is gettin' to that age where he's gonna be settlin' down soon. He'd still be here to help on the farm, but that leaves ya to raise Applebloom on your own once I pass on. We both know that's a'gonna be soon."

Her granddaughter winced. "Aw, Granny, don't talk about that..."

"Hush. You know it's true." Granny rubbed AJ's back, a warm smile spreading across her muzzle. "But you oughta know somethin'. In the years since your Pa left, I have seen you learn and grow so much with your friends that ah'm sure the day he finally gets his hide back here, he'll be so gobsmacked you'll have to poke him with a pitchfork!" Despite herself, Applejack chuckled at the image. Granny Smith's eyes brightened and she squeezed the younger mare in a tight one-legged hug. "You done a wonderful job with Applebloom so far. She's gonna grow up to be a fine mare, you'll see. And this farm? Shoot, it runs smoother than a greased pig over ice! Don't doubt yerself, Applejack. Yer more than enough for this family. Why, yer the core o' the apple!"

Applejack's eyes misted. She smiled with a stiffened lip and hugged Granny Smith around the barrel. "Thanks, Granny. Ah love ya more than ah can put into words!"

"Thank goodness!" Granny chuckled over her shoulder. "If there's one thing ah count my lucky stars for ever'day, it's that ya didn't pick up your Pa's gift o' gab!"

The farm mare pulled back and winked. "Now I wouldn't go alleging my apparent lack of verbosity, Granny Smith! After all, how you think ah manage to sell our precious product in that competitive mart of commerce so well?"

Granny Smith pulled Applejack's stetson hat over her eyes. "Hush, you! I can still whop ya good, just like your Pa!" She gingerly stood to all hooves. "Now we better git back to the house a'fore your sister burns it down..."

Smiling happily, Applejack walked back home with her granny, her mind no longer preoccupied with the inevitable advance of time. Not its seconds, hours, or its years...

[league-of-light]

2019 What’s the Weekly Challenge Rankings Week 1 Weekly Challenge What Is It IDP Flex Weekly Challenge? Rankings

What’s up YouTubers it’s the Will + Dyl show back at it again with another set of power rankings. And by Will + Dyl back at it again I mean Dylan back at it again while I incoherently ramble nonsensical garbage next to him. We’re off to a great start. Per usual, Dylan will provide his EXPERT level statistical analysis of players and teams, and I’ll pick some stupid meme to run with. This week we’re going with Super Smash Bros because Banjo Kazooie just dropped and it’s the only light in my life outside of Ace and Dairy Delight. Anyway, take it away Dylan.

__________________________________________________

Howdy folks! It’s been a while. I’ve wanted to get back into writing Power Rankings, but it seemed like a bad idea. I haven’t followed football late in the 2017-2018 season, and honestly, I have no idea what’s going on. But Will has convinced me that it doesn’t matter, and that I can do these anyway. So without further ado, here are my power rankings, based on what I understand about the league from almost two years ago. 

11. Cleveland Browns

The Browns have been the worst organization in football for about 15 years. Last I checked, this team was losing every single game, finishing the season 0-16. And now it seems that Josh Gordon DeShone Kizer aren’t even there anymore? This team has no shot. I don’t know who this Daniel Jones fellow is, but hopefully he can help; otherwise, this team is primed for a lot of losses. 

Super Smash Bros character: Pichu. If you’ve played Smash Bros, you know that Pichu has nearly the same moveset (if not the same exact moves, sue me Evan I don’t use Pichu) as Pikachu. The only difference is, anytime Pichu attacks, it also hurts itself. Just like me, every time I look at this stupid gimmick team I decided to go with instead of actually trying to win free money.

10. Honedge Heroes

Antonio Brown AND Le’Veon Bell? I’m not a fan of taking the two Steelers, who will steal touches from each other. Brandin Cooks is great, and I like Derrick Henry, but I’ve never even heard of half of this team. This team should suspend any hope they had of being a contender. 

Smash Bro: R.O.B. Rob is a robot, so is Dylan.  I am reminded about a thing I read today on Reddit about a robot. It was written by Douglas Adams. Please hold while I find the quote:

A robot was programmed to believe that it liked herring sandwiches. This was actually the most difficult part of the whole experiment. Once the robot had been programmed to believe that it liked herring sandwiches, a herring sandwich was placed in front of it. Where upon the robot thought to itself, Ah! A herring sandwich! I like herring sandwiches. It would then bend over and scoop up the herring sandwich in its herring sandwich scoop, and then straighten up again. Unfortunately for the robot, it was fashioned in such a way that the action of straightening up caused the herring sandwich to slip straight back off its herring sandwich scoop and fall on to the floor in front of the robot. Whereupon the robot thought to itself, Ah! A herring sandwich...etc., and repeated the same action over and over again. The only thing that prevented the herring sandwich from getting bored with the whole damn business and crawling off in search of other ways of passing the time was that the herring sandwich, being just a bit of dead fish between a couple of slices of bread, was marginally less alert to what was going on than was the robot.

^ This is Dylan, and the herring sandwich is the New York Mets.

9. Cursed Will

It’s tough to rank the team with the best player in football (Aaron Rodgers) this low. But Jordy Nelson is getting up there in years, so I’m not sure how good Rodgers receivers will be. 

Super Mash Potato: King K. Rool.  Dylan had a pretty fire one for this, so I’ll let him take it away:

IT’S NICE THAT AFTER YEARS OF FREELOADING IN SMASH GAMES AS A TROPHY AND A STICKER, KING K. ROOL FINALLY DECIDED TO CONTRIBUTE AND BE PART OF THE SMASH ROSTER. THIS DOESN’T HELP ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO SPENT YEARS WITH THE EARLIER SMASH GAMES, BUT I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY THAT NOW THAT HE’S OLD AND IRRELEVANT, HE FINALLY DECIDED TO BE USEFUL.

For those who don’t know, Evan now pays rent. For those who also don’t know, Evan and King K. Rool are both thousands of years old, have leathery skin, and eat Taco Bell every other day. Also, check out this screenshot of K Rool from when Banjo was announced, it’s literally the most Evan photo on the internet.

8. Float Like a… Whine Like AB

I’m not sure why they have Alex Smith’s backup at QB. Davante Adams and Michael Thomas are great, but Mark Ingram seems to be their only competent RB. Maybe they’ll get Alex Smith and find a way to contend. Otherwise, I’m not really sure what this team is doing. 

Smush - Donkey Kong. For those of you who don't know, Donkey Kong got his name because Nintendo wanted to convey that the ape was stubborn, so they picked the most stubborn animal they could think of. Or at least that’s how the story goes. That alone would be fitting enough for Jason, but really he gets DK because of DK’s affinity to charge up a punch and wiff on it, only to CHARGE UP AGAIN LATER.

7. tbt to K88 being platonic

I’m glad to see Larry Fitzgerald is still around, and they have Andrew Luck’s long-time favorite target Eugene Hilton. Ben Roethlisberger could have a huge year with the talent on that Pittsburgh offense, and Alvin Kamara is great. Still, I’d expect Devonta Freeman to split carries again, and the Bills’ defense can’t be very good. 

Super Dunk - Young Link.  Young Link has been out of the Smash Brothers games for over a decade which is almost as long as Harnsowl has been out of America.  Also, YL can drink a seemingly endless amount of Lon Lon Milk, just like Harnsowl with alcohol. 

6. Spicy Meatballs

From what I’ve been told, James White should be the best RB in football by now. I’ll take Phil’s word for this. And Drew Brees is awesome. But I’m not sure about the rest of the team. JuJu Smith-Schuster will have trouble getting touches over the Killer B’s, and all I know about Anthony Miller is that he was a mediocre NBA player in the 90’s who had a brief cameo in Space Jam. Tough to see this team doing well if they can’t improve on that depth. 

Super Meesh Pepe - Samus. Another soulless human robot thingamabob whose only purpose is to watch the New York Mets. Dark Samus for when the Mets lose. So I guess always Dark Samus?

5. No Content

I don’t know if Kyler Murray is actually good, but I’m expecting a big year out of Eric Decker. And the Colts QB has always loved throwing to TE’s, so Eric Ebron should have a huge year. A definite sleeper who might take the league by storm.

Supper Dinner Brother - Lil Mac.  Dylan beat me to it again:

I respect the effort that they put into making Little Mac a better character. They improved his aerial gameplay and his recovery, and made a bunch of other improvements. It must have taken them, like, 12 weeks of work! But, despite all that effort, he’s still in a low tier and can’t compete with the stronger characters.

Honestly, the biggest difference here is that Lil Mac definitely never skips leg day (see photo)

But apparently Kyle has been for the past 84 days.

4. Shit Outta Luck

For some reason, their team page says that they dropped Andrew Luck, but I’m going to assume that there’s some kind of issue in the database that will be resolved shortly. I’m assuming some team that already had a franchise QB took Saquon Barkley at a completely reasonable pick in the draft, and he’s doing great there. And Mike Evans is a star. Once Andrew Luck is re-added to the roster, this team can be a real contender.

Smash Bros Character - N/A. Dylan, Who’s fuckin team is this?

3. I’m Still Here Bitches

A shockingly strong showing for Team Arielle. David Johnson, from what I recall, is the best RB in football. Julio Jones is awesome. Dak Prescott is pretty good, although honestly, I still think Tony Romo is better. Damien Williams might not get a ton of carries in KC, but I still think this team could go a long way.

Daisy. Daisy doesn’t belong in Smash (yeah, I said it Andy), and Arielle doesn’t belong in the league

2. Team Mar

The squad from the 845 is looking very strong. Two superstar WR’s in Alshon Jeffrey and Keenan Allen, a perennial MVP candidate in Matt Ryan, and two top 5 caliber RB’s in Leonard Fournette and Christian McCaffrey? I have no idea how this roster is even possible.

Mashed Potato: Joker.  I honestly know nothing about you, just like I know nothing about this anime (?) character who is in Super Smash Brothers. His name is Joker but he’s clearly not from Gotham and your instagram handle is Marisa845 and you’re clearly not from the 845 otherwise Bowers would’ve remembered seeing you at South. He knows everyone who went to South.

1. Venice Beach Hulkamaniacks 

Now here’s a team of people I recognize. A.J. Green? Trey Burton? Melvin Gordon? Shady McCoy? DION LEWIS? I honestly don’t see how things could possibly go wrong with that kind of talent. This team shouldn’t lose a single game. And there you have it. Hopefully by next week, I will have learned a little bit about the modern NFL and can take a better stab at these, but hopefully this helps get you excited for another great season of the NATIONAL! FOOTBALL! LEAGUE! Back to you Boom.

Smash Boo: King Dedede. The people’s champ. The Penguin with the Hammer.  Just like Kirby, King Dedede can suck in opponents.  Just like Bowers, if those opponents taste like carbs, he will not swallow them. King Dedede has an unrelenting hammer akin to Bowers’ unrelenting trade offers for LeShady McCoy, and had this other game where he got swol af just like Bowers is gonna be at the end of his journey. At least his 12 week journey has seen results. 

Also, I’m genuinely unsure if Bowers wrote this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jibCSdZ8xG0 

73. Andy Brown

A late addition that we had to shoehorn in here even though they don’t belong in the Power Rankings.

[toldnews-blog]

New Post has been published on https://toldnews.com/technology/entertainment/jackson-nicks-enter-hall-with-encouragement-for-women/

Jackson, Nicks enter hall with encouragement for women

Stevie Nicks, who became the first woman inducted twice into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and Janet Jackson, the latest member of the Jackson clan to enter the hall, called for other women to join them in music immortality on a night they were honored with five all-male British bands.

Jackson issued her challenge just before leaving the stage of Brooklyn’s Barclays Center. “Rock and Roll Hall of Fame,” she said, “in 2020, induct more women.”

Neither Jackson or Nicks were around at the end of the evening when another Brit, Ian Hunter, led an all-star jam at the end to “All the Young Dudes.” The Bangles’ Susanna Hoffs was the only woman onstage.

During the five-hour ceremony, Bryan Ferry of Roxy Music thanked multiple bass players and album cover designers, the Cure’s Robert Smith proudly wore his mascara and red lipstick a month shy of his 60th birthday and two of Radiohead’s five members showed up for trophies.

During Def Leppard’s induction, Rick Allen was moved to tears by the audience’s standing ovation when singer Joe Elliott recalled the drummer’s perseverance following a 1985 accident that cost him an arm.

Jackson followed her brothers Michael and the Jackson 5 as inductees. She said she wanted to go to college and become a lawyer growing up, but her late father Joe had other ideas for her.

“As the youngest in my family, I was determined to make it on my own,” she said. “I was determined to stand on my own two feet. But never in a million years did I expect to follow in their footsteps.”

She encouraged Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, producers of her breakthrough “Control” album and most of her vast catalog, to stand in Brooklyn’s Barclays Center for recognition, as well as booster Questlove. She thanked Dick Clark of “American Bandstand” and Don Cornelius of “Soul Train,” along with her choreographers including Paula Abdul.

There was some potential for awkward vibes Friday, since the event was being filmed to air on HBO on April 27. HBO angered the Jackson family this winter for showing the documentary “Leaving Neverland,” about two men who alleged Michael Jackson abused them when they were boys. Jackson never mentioned Michael specifically in her remarks but thanked her brothers, and he was shown on screen with the rest of the family.

Jackson was inducted by an enthusiastic Janelle Monae, whose black hat and black leather recalled some of her hero’s past stage looks. She said Jackson had been her phone’s screen-saver for years as a reminder to be focused and fearless in how she approached art.

Nicks was the night’s first induction. She is already a member of the hall as a member of Fleetwood Mac, but only the first woman to join 22 men — including all four Beatles members — to have been honored twice by the rock hall for the different stages of their career.

Nicks offered women a blueprint for success, telling them her trepidation in first recording a solo album while a member of Fleetwood Mac and encouraging others to match her feat.

“I know there is somebody out there who will be able to do it,” she said, promising to talk often of how she built her solo career. “What I am doing is opening up the door for other women.”

During her four-song set, she brought onstage a cape she bought in 1983 to prove to her “very frugal” late mother that it was still in good shape, and worth its $3,000 price tag. Don Henley joined her to sing “Leather and Lace,” while Harry Styles filled in for the late Tom Petty on “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around.”

David Byrne inducted Radiohead, noting he was flattered the band named itself after one of his songs. He said their album “Kid A” was the one that really hooked him, and he was impressed Radiohead could be experimental in both their music and how they conduct business.

“They’re creative and smart in both areas, which was kind of a rare combination for artists, not just now but anytime,” he said.

With only drummer Philip Selway and guitarist Ed O’Brien on hand, Radiohead didn’t perform; there was a question of whether any of them would show up given the group’s past ambivalence about the hall. But both men spoke highly of the honor.

“This is such a beautifully surreal evening for us,” said O’Brien. “It’s a big (expletive) deal and it feels like it. … I wish the others could be here because they would be feeling it.”

The Cure’s Smith has been a constant in a band of shifting personnel, and he stood onstage for induction Friday with 11 past and current members. Despite their goth look, the Cure has a legacy of pop hits, and performed three of them at Barclays, “I Will Always Love You,” ”Just Like Heaven” and “Boys Don’t Cry.”

Visibly nervous, Smith called his induction a “very nice surprise” and shyly acknowledged the crowd’s cheers.

“It’s been a fantastic thing, it really has,” he said. “We love you, too.”

His inductee, Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, recalled ridiculing the rock hall in past years because he couldn’t believe the Cure wasn’t in. When he got the call that the band was in, he said “I was never so happy eating my words as I was that day.”

Def Leppard sold tons of records, back when musicians used to do that, with a heavy metal sound sheened to pop perfection on songs like “Photograph” and “Pour Some Sugar on Me.” They performed them in a set that climaxed the annual ceremony.

Singer Joe Elliott stressed the band’s working-class roots, thanking his parents and recalling how his father gave them 150 pounds to make their first recording in 1978.

Besides Allen’s accident, the band survived the 1991 death of guitarist Steve Clark. Elliott said there always seemed to be a looming sense of tragedy around the corner for the band, but “we wouldn’t let it in.”

“If alcoholism, car crashes and cancer couldn’t kill us, the ’90s had no (expletive) chance,” said Elliott, referring to his band mates as the closest thing to brothers that an only child could have.

Roxy Music, led by the stylish Ferry, performed a five-song set that included hits “Love is the Drug,” ”More Than This” and “Avalon.” (Brian Eno didn’t show for the event).

Simon LeBon and John Taylor of Duran Duran inducted them, with Taylor saying that hearing Roxy Music in concert at age 14 showed him what he wanted to do with his life.

“Without Roxy Music, there really would be no Duran Duran,” he said.

The soft-spoken Ferry thanked everyone from a succession of bass players to album cover designers. “We’d like to thank everyone for this unexpected honor,” he said.

The Zombies, from rock ‘n’ roll’s original British invasion, were the veterans of the night. They made it despite being passed over in the past, but were gracious in their thanks of the rock hall. They performed hits “Time of the Season,” ”Tell Her No” and “She’s Not There.”

Zombies lead singer Rod Argent noted that the group had been eligible for the hall for 30 years but the honor had eluded them.

“To have finally passed the winning post this time — fantastic!”

[jschaeferreviews]

The Founder (2016)

McDonald’s is an American icon.  Started by two brothers, Dick and Mac (Nick Offerman, John Carroll Lynch), the concept was simple: “Burgers ready in thirty seconds instead of thirty minutes.”  Everything is going well at their flagship San Bernardino location when milkshake machine salesman and entrepreneur Ray Kroc (Michael Keaton) pays them a visit.  Quickly falling in love with the idea and seeing a market ripe for the taking, he begins laying the groundwork for what will become one of the largest franchise operations in the modern world.

“The Founder” is a well-made film with some great acting.  While there may not be any emotionally gut wrenching scenes, the core cast of the film all deliver some truly solid performances and bring you right in to the heart of the story.  Despite knowing how the film will ultimately end, we can’t help but go along for the ride in the well-paced two-hour film.

Keaton plays business-minded Ray.  What makes his role so interesting is that he is really the antagonist of the story; the argument can even be made that within the scale of the film he is up there at Bond villain caliber.  He is an eccentric with the money and the know how to completely take over the (brother’s) world.  There is a scene late in the film when Kroc is on the phone with the brothers and gets a rise out of the normally level headed and easy going Mac.  It is a volatile scene which really shows the stark difference in goals and philosophy between the two parties.

The entire arc that John Carroll Lynch takes with Mac is very exciting development.  While the film’s title role goes to Keaton, Lynch – and to a lesser extent, Offerman – is what makes this story work.  It would have been so easy to fall the way of “The Wolf of Wall Street” (2013) where a man with an idea starts making money hand over fist by cheating his way to the top.  Whereas that film reads more like a frat party with an unlimited budget, “The Founder” always makes us think about the cost of doing business by showing us the strain that this rapid expansion is causing the tow humble brothers at the start of it all.

Offerman has traded in his signature mustache for what is sure to be a career-highlighting performance. He’s once bitten, twice shy as we learn through the narrative and he pours everything he has into his love for both his restaurant and his brother.  He and Lynch play so well off each other and while their characters do not always agree, we can see that everything both of them do is in the best interest of one another and the integrity of McDonald’s.  It is such a pure and unconditional relationship so rarely seen on screen anymore and it was downright refreshing to watch.

The biggest flaw I found with the film lies in the awkward romantic tension between Kroc and Joan Smith (Linda Cardellini).  While the fractured relationship with Kroc’s first wife, Ethel (Laura Dern), does play well with Kroc’s rise to power, the scenes between him and Joan do not play off nearly as well.  I won’t entirely dismiss the importance of these two women in Ray’s story – especially because they were expertly acted – but if the personal scenes with Joan were reworked, the whole subplot would have been much stronger and feel more organic in the fabric of the story.

“The Founder” is a small film with a big impact.  I’d struggle to say it is a “feel-good” film, but it is certainly worth the price of admission.  It is not a hard story to follow and there are no clues to look for while watching it, but I still can’t wait to see it again because the performances are so completely magnetic and the story is one you can’t help getting caught up in the middle. Satisfying to watch, “The Founder” is a film, much like a classic McDonald’s hamburger, that can be enjoyed by the whole family!

[ftkd-arts]

HC: Coco Pommel

Coco Pommel was not always the wealthy, though kind mare she is now. Earlier in life, she was hardly a force to be reckoned with. She was a timid, weak colt from the poor traditional village of rustic Appleloosa, where she lived with her older brother Braeburn. Her name was not Coco Pommel. Rather, she was Cocoa Bean; the shy country boy.

[[MORE]]

Even as a young foal, Cocoa Bean wasn't like the other boys. He didn't have a taste for rough-housing, mud-wrestling and rodeo-watching like the small handful of colts that mildly tolerated Cocoa's presence. He was frail and fragile. He didn't know why he hated the look of his own face, or his name, or his body. The bullying didn't help; how'd they would call him names like "sissy" or "fag" until he was sobbing. Of course when the tears came, the bullies only had more ammunition.

Cocoa hated himself. He hated his bullies and his supposed friends; he hated dirt and rust and those stupid Celestia-damned rodeos! He grew a resentment for his parents, Apple Brown Betty and Half Baked Apple, blaming them for his existence. The only pony Cocoa Bean didn't have the energy to hate was his big brother, Braeburn, and baby sisters Jonagold and Apple Fritter.

Their relationship wasn't without strain. Braeburn was the model son, Appleloosa's golden boy. Top of his class, he was a very chivalrous young stallion; kind, brave, courageous, friendly, charming, straight forward... Anything you could want in a kid, a friend, or a brother. Cocoa Bean got told so many times that he was lucky to have a sibling like Braeburn. Cocoa wanted to hate his brother-- everybody loved him, and for what? Because he could smile? Cocoa wanted to smile, why couldn't they allow that?

Yet still... Braeburn was very important to him. Cocoa Bean looked up to Braeburn. So much so that he spilled his guts to him, only after Braeburn had found him about to run away.

Cocoa Bean confessed everything to Braeburn. The torment, the self-hatred, the neverending confusion over who he was. Cocoa Bean feared that he was a teenage monster. A defective pony. That he was born wrong, because... Because he, a young colt, not only yearned for another colt to like him in more than a friend way, but... he also wanted to be a mare.

Now, in a small dirt village like Appleloosa, not everypony is educated on things like gender dysphoria. Braeburn was one of these ponies. He didn't hate Cocoa, he was just confused and trying, trying to understand. Even when he didn't really get it, he comforted his... his sister, as best as he could. He encouraged her to be who she, erm, wanted. Or was.

Cocoa couldn't bare coming out to the whole town, but Braeburn convinced her that their parents wouldn't be mad at her. Cocoa quietly admitted her true self to them. Her parents didn't understand, but they could see the pain their child was going through. They wanted Cocoa Bean to be happy, and if that meant Cocoa would be a girl, then the family could manage that.

So Cocoa Bean's name was changed to Cocoa Butter. The town's delicate little punchbag colt became Appleloosa's own freak.

Once word got out that Cocoa Bean was no more, her bullies couldn't stop cackling. Everywhere she went, Cocoa Butter felt like ponies were whispering about her. Gossiping about the weird tranny, the confused colt, the contagious faggot... She couldn't take the staring eyes. With a final note to the family she loved, she left on the next train to Manehattan.

Barely getting by, she became determined to find a way to earn a living. She had always had a fixation for fashion, so she started working towards something in that department. She showed up to a various popular clothing stores, meekly asking for a job only to be rejected again and again.

Just as she was thinking it was time to go back to Appleloosa, a customer came up and offered the mare an internship. The customer promised that she would be housed, fed, and clothed; in exchange, the naive young lady would be her assistant. Of course she quickly agreed! But first, she would need a name change... No one would know she was in the fashion business with a name like Cocoa Butter. So Cocoa Butter became Coco Pommel, and Coco was kindly taken in by this sweet stranger... Suri Polomare.

We know how the story goes from there. Power of generosity. Nonetheless, Rarity got Coco Pommel hired by Hoity Toity, who turned her life around! Hoity Toity is close friends with Sapphire Shores, her wives Songbird Serenade and Countess Coloratura, and even Grand Duke Blueblood, is already famous as hell, and they all wanted Coco to design their newest wardrobe items.

Coco Pommel was no longer just a lowly assistant to a short-cut designer, and ponies reconigzed that. Ponies like Svengallop.

While Quincy Svengallop the III did have a brief buckle in his career thanks to Coloratura, he managed to revive his name, albeit not without hardships. After the disagreement, he had to be on his best behavior. He shifted gears into a more subtle manipulation tactic... Enough that he was able to snag a short job as Sweetie Belle's agent, and even jumpstart the modeling career of Duke Blueblood's daughter.

With that résumé, how could Coco Pommel refuse when the charming stallion suggested his services?

Svengallop became the mare's agent. He was rugged, handsome, and played the role of a gentlemen very convincingly. She fell fast. Coco tried to push the feelings down, but over the course of the next few months, a nice bond manifested.

Since they were good friends, Svengallop convinced her that the deal with Countess Coloratura was a misunderstanding. The deal with Bellevue was a misunderstanding. Coco Pommel believed him. He lied so kindly and so, so easily that he found warmth in how quick Coco Pommel was to think him a good pony. Svengallop thought her understanding nature was cute. The naive, innocent little mare was adorable, honest, and meek. So honest that she told Svengallop that she loved him, and so meek that she accepted his proposal to elope that same night.

Svengallop sired twin children with his wife; Noteworthy and Cherry Chapstick. They weren't his firstborn. Mayor Mare birthed his eldest Pencil Pusher, the product of a one night stand. Years of Coco Pommel, Svengallop grew bored and started an affair with young culinary upstart Silver Spoon; it ended when she announced a pregnancy. He left Silver Spoon to raise the foals, Cordon and Nouvelle, on her own.

Teenager/young adult Pencil Pusher soon found out their father's identity, declaring Sven's infidelities. Outraged, humiliated and broken-hearted, Coco Pommel divorced his ungrateful ass and took the kids.

After finding everything out, Coco Pommel is now surrounded by ponies who actually love and accept her. She remarried to a kind stallion the name of Quibble Pants. Mayor Mare is the aunt of Pinkie Pie and her sisters, so there's a lot of nieces and nephews. Coco Pommel now co-runs a shop with Sassy Saddles, with Ritzy Ring, Cherry Chapstick and Bellevue being the main models.

Other notes~

- Despite her dainty persona, Coco Pommel is not as weak or shy as one would assume. She's a fairly assertive mare, and doesn't hold back when defending either herself, her ideas, her family, friends, or a random stranger. She's still sweet, but bolder. Coco believes in herself more than she ever did. She's not trapped in a web anymore, whether its of her own making or Svengallop's, and the best part? She got herself out of it. She's proud of how far she's come, Celestia damn it. She's a good, strong mare that doesn't need anybody to push her to be tough.

- Coco Pommel did eventually get back in touch with her family. Slowly, they're working to make Appleloosa a more accepting place. The town was silently hateful when Jonagold got a girlfriend; Appleloosa quietly talked when Fritter turned out genderqueer (nb demigirl)... They were shocked when Braeburn himself came out as gay. Their parents supported their children and changed their biases. Brown Betty even started talking about how she was raised by two mothers, one who was appearantly a trans mare. The family are very close now and are happy for each other.

- Brown Betty is Granny Smith's daughter, younger than Bright Mac but older than her youngest Apple Bumpkin. Bumpkin is married to Hayseed Turnip Truck; they're Babs Seed and her big sister Sunflower's parents.

- Slowly with Braeburn's care, Appleloosa adopted a more friendly and open-minded community, and the citizens even apologized for the uncomfortableness they caused to the transgender or gay ponies in the town. Braeburn married Score (from RD's Boy Bullies) and had their stoic son, Snapple.

- Coco Pommel doesn't mind her family calling her Cocoa Butter.

- Cherry Chapstick is mtf transgender. Svengallop rejects her true self. He disagrees with Pencil Pusher being non-binary as well. Once Coco Pommel publicly announced that she herself was born a stallion, Svengallop felt humiliated and was honestly disgusted to his core.

- Noteworthy always favored his dear ol' dad. Coco has tried to fester a good relationship with her boy, but he blames her for Svengallop being a bad father.

- Just to sum up the family tree, Svengallop's first-born is Mayor Mare's nb offspring Pencil "Pen" Pusher from a one-night-stand. Mayor Mare is Pinkie Pie's dad Igneous Rock's big sister; she ran away to pursue a life outside the rock farm and its traditions. Svengallop married Coco Pommel and had their twins Noteworthy and Cherry. After some years, Sven cheated and sired Silver Spoon's twins, Cordon and Nouvelle. The pair divorced once Pen uncovered Svengallop's infidelities. Coco married a childless Quibble.

Pinkie Pie also has about nine kids; five stepchildren, four biological. She and her wife Rainbow Dash had Airhead, Creampuff, Starburst and Jawbreaker, before they became the girlfriends of Dumbbell, who had previously had Featherweight with Bulk Biceps and Thunderweight, Phoenix Ashes, Hailstorm and Whirlwind with Lightning Dust.

- The mentioned Ritzy Ring is Sassy Saddles' daughter. Bellevue is Blueblood's.

I'm very aware this is a lot more scattered than my usual HC: Character but hey, writing when you have writer's block be like that sometimes. It took me a few months to actually get this down

Why do so many of my headcanons involve secret family members and ugly truths? I honestly do not know.

Thanks for the read. If you use this headcanon, please give me credit, otherwise don't plagiarize

HC: Apple Bloom;

https://www.deviantart.com/gayswillrule/art/HC-Apple-Bloom-809352963

HC: Cake Twins;

HC: Mayor Smith;

Peace ✌️

[taiblogcomics]

Water You Selling?

Hey there, a snake is loose in the house. Like, for real. But that's not important, we have another Ponyville Mysteries to solve. Although, due to a clerical error, I accidentally was sent two copies of issue 4. So I don't have issue 3. Since continuity doesn't seem to be an issue, we'll just skip it for now, and go back once I manage to get a copy. I haven't had a fun story like that in a while, so everything's fine~

Here's the cover:

I assume cover 3 was just like the first two, with Applebloom and a bunch of negative space. So naturally, issue 4 is all three, with slightly less negative space. Confusingly, though, unlike the other times, the Crusaders who appear in the foreground (i.e. all of them) also appear in the background image. It's a little weird to have multiple versions of the characters on the cover, not gonna lie. Also, like the first issue, the identity of the culprit is hidden in the cover image. See if you can guess it~

As you might guess from the cover, the comic opens at the Ponyville Spa. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash are all relaxing together. Applejack is conspicuous by her absence, but you know how she is about pampering. The lot of them get up and go for a steam in the sauna. The water for the steam is piped in from a particular spring in the Everfree Forest, which makes it unique. However, no steam comes. The spa sisters enter, reporting that the spring has dried up. Rainbow Dash reports that, despite a bout of flu among the weather ponies, the lack of rainfall shouldn't have affected it this quickly. The Crusaders, smelling a mystery, dash off.

However, the Crusaders aren't so silly to go rushing off to an unknown location in the Everfree. Luckily for them, Zecora happens by at just that moment and gives them directions. They arrive at the spring without incident in the next panel, where they find that it hasn't dried up at all. This makes it much more mysterious. Nearby, however, is a rather elaborately designed pump system, leading a brightly coloured pipe back out of the Everfree and into the outskirts of Ponyville. To the Crusaders' surprise--especially Applebloom's--the pipeline leads into Sweet Apple Acres and stops there. The implication is clear: Applejack is the one stealing the spring water, to keep her trees going during the rain drought. But that can't be true, can it?

After some moments to refocus and reassure Applebloom, the trio heads out to question the rest of the Apple family. Applejack confirms that the lack of rain hasn't affected the farm yet, though she's worried for the hybrid tree their parents left. They then ask Big Macintosh and Granny Smith, going direct with Big Mac and trying to make Granny react to the word "piping". Nothing returns results. They take another break to discuss the case at Sugarcube Corner (which seems to be a recurring thing now), and Snips and Snails overhear them. The pair is quick to spread the rumour, and soon everypony in Ponyville suddenly suspects the Apple family of stealing the spring water.

This has consequences almost immediately. Nopony will buy pies at the Apple family's stand in the marketplace, and even their famous cider goes unsold (except to Rainbow Dash, who just helps herself, mouth-to-tap). Upon being pressured by Twilight Sparkle, Applebloom reveals to the rest of her family that she knows about the pipeline, which they're shocked by. Not that she knows about it, but that it's happening at all. Despite her dislike of anyone thinking her a thief, Applejack agrees to hold off on accusations for a bit in order to let the Crusaders investigate further.

As they explore the marketplace for likely culprits, they soon come across them: Flim and Flam have set up another booth. They're selling an exciting new hybrid fruit, a mysterious mix of apple, pear, and plum. No name is given, and I dunno what you'd even call that. Applearplum? Applumpear? Whatever it is, Applebloom is immediately suspicious, and pointedly asks Flim and Flam how much water it takes to grow such a fruit. And they reply that it's probably less water than the Apple family is stealing from the spring. Which is extremely specific and suspicious. And thus does Applebloom declare she'll get to the bottom of whatever they're doing. Because, you know the Flim Flam Brothers, they're always up to something~

The trio return to the spring and inspect the construction of the elaborate pump. It does have the distinctive hallmarks of their creative style, and it's probably called the Super Spring-Sucking Sump Pump 7200 or something. They follow the pipeline again, but this time when they reach its terminus at Sweet Apple Acres they do a little digging--literally. They quickly uncover that the pipe actually goes further, continuing under the hill and leading to an elaborate watering device around their tree. Upon being caught, they simply pack up their cart of hybrid fruit and leave. (They also officially name the fruit “plupearapple”, which is both a terrible name and too late a detail for the story.) The Crusaders let them go, because how could they stop them? With the Flim Flam Brothers once again on the run, the pipeline is dismantled, and both the spring water and the Apple family's good name are returned~

I’m not sure I would call this as much as a mystery as the other two issues we’ve covered. Or perhaps all the Flim Flam Brothers episodes have always been mystery episodes? I guess it’s no different than all those Encyclopedia Brown incidents where Bugs Meaney tries some sort of scheme. In this issue, though, they don’t even seem to be faking it. They’ve literally created a hybridised fruit, it just needs a ridiculous amount of water while in bloom. They could actually find a legitimate market for this, but no, they must scheme. It’s a compulsion for them. In conclusion, the Flim Flam Brothers are the Bugs Meaney of Equestria.

And the clue on the cover that it was the Flim Flam Brothers? The apple and its slice match the design of Flim and Flam’s cutie marks~

Next issue looks a bit spooky, but unfortunately it won’t even be the next review, since we still have to wait for issue 3. Either way, this is a good series and should be a lot of fun~

[attract-mode-collective]

Review: A Day with Sid, Ed, & CD-i

Longtime readers may be less than surprised to learn that I have a deep fondness for infomercials designed to sell game hardware, be they arcade machines or computers and consoles. Why? Well, they’re the perfect combination of the two things I loved most growing up, that being video games and late night television, both of which were at their absolute apex around the early 90s (IMHO).

The one I watched and loved the most was a 30 minute long piece of paid programming dedicated to the Phillips CD-i, which attempted to usher CD-ROM based entertainment into living rooms during the 16-bit era of gaming and ultimately failed, with much of its infamy due to the rather poor utilization of Nintendo IP that Phillips had access to (due to them being there to pick up the pieces of the SNES CD project, when Nintendo and Sony had a falling out).

Alas, I have yet to find an acceptable, let alone complete copy on YouTube. I should know; I regularly check and see if one has been finally uploaded. The bits and pieces that are currently present is the infomercial split into three parts (it was shared at a time in which uploads could not be longer than ten minutes), and even then, a sizable chunk of the beginning portion is missing. Though during a regular check, I came across the existence of a second informercial that I had no idea existed!

Despite the beginning being cut off here as well, enough of the set-up is present for the following half-hour to make sense. Basically, we have a pair of twin brothers in the same line of business, more or less: assisting those with technical difficulties.

Ed is a repair person who specializes in VCRs, game systems, and personal computers. Consumer tech that the informercial portrays as being less than consumer friendly, to the point that they’re practically consumer hostile. As such, Ed’s characterization reflects this stance; he’s slow, lazy, and aloof. Which is pretty much all the justification that Sid needs to swoop in and hijack Ed’s clientele, to then perform his role of CD-i salesperson.

Sid believes that he’s not so much stealing them but is instead “steering them in the right direction” and even describes himself as a “Robin Hood for the information age”. The dude loves his job, cuz he loves the CD-i! All of which is illustrated via three vignettes that the informercial presents. The first is Little Timmy and the Wrong Button and it depicts an early 90s mom and her young early 90s son, at the computer… dad’s computer to be exact. The scene opens with mom trying to get a game running by inserting a long string of DOS commands. When she has to step away from the computer, to refer to some manual that’s high atop the book shelf, her child disobeys the commandment of not touching the keyboard, which results in him completely erasing the hard drive.

Believe it or not, for the younger folks reading this, such a scene was somewhat common in television and film at the time: kids were portrayed as being dumb, unable to grasp technology. Crazy, I know! Anyhow, the point of this scene is to demonstrate that computers are super fragile and needlessly complicated, so mom makes a call to Ed, though Sid shows up instead (mom actually calls an office, where Ed’s boss is, who relays jobs to his repairman in the field via CB radio, which Sid snoops in on… kinda messed up, I know). As he barges inside the house, Sid states “So, you hit a pot hole in the information super highway, huh?”

Mom points towards the computer but Sid makes his way straight towards the TV and hooks up a later model of the CD-i, the one that resembles a game console, so I know it came after the other informercial, cuz that one featured the version of the hardware that looks like a VCR. Anyhow, Sid immediately starts doing his pitch, which is how the CD-i does everything a computer can, but instead of a tiny monitor on a desk, you can enjoy everything on your big ass living room TV and on the comfort of your couch.

And what’s the first piece of software to demonstrate the power of CD-i, to not only impress the young man in the skit but everyone watching at home? Why, an edutainment title called Crayon Factory. Seriously. Sid (presumably) gets the idea after noticing the young scribbling all over the walls of the house with crayons, though he’s a bit too old for such behavior. And thus we have my fave little touch of the informercial; when the kid inserts the disc, Sid adjusts it so its properly resting on the spool. Not sure why I like that so much…

But yeah, it’s hardly the first taste for the viewing audience at home that I would have chosen. Yet Crayon Factory is exciting enough for Sid to steal the controller (and a rather cheap looking one at that; on the long list of problems with the CD-i is the rather chintzy input devices) from the boy and play the game himself. While playing, Sid continues on with the hard sell, by noting “CD-i has everything you get with a CD-ROM… except the problems!” Which means zero loading time (not according to footage I’ve seen on YouTube) and no complicated equipment (speaking as a Mac guy, I will agree that PCs are hard to figure out, sorry). He also runs down all the other things that the machine can play, like music CDs (this is the early 90s and compact discs were still relatively new) and movies (with Four Weddings And A Funeral mentioned, the first instance of several) plus actual video games!

The first legit gameplay we see is of Chaos Control, a rather subpar on-rails shooter that heavily relies upon full motion video. But instead of the enemies being sprites that are super imposed on top, which is usually the case, here they’re part of the pre-rendered backdrop. So when you shoot something, it becomes obscured by a puff of smoke, and a really crappy looking one at that. It’s also worth noting that Chaos Control was released on other platforms, and I see the Japanese Sega Saturn version a lot when looking for imports on eBay. There are TONS of copies out there for sale and no one’s buying.

Mom is less than impressed, cuz she’s a woman, and women don’t play video games, according to the informercial. Though she’s also worried about how her husband will react to the loss of the computer (which is referred to as to simply “the CD-ROM”; I think it has less to do with a female being unfamiliar with tech yet again, and more with how no one on staff was fluent period). Which is why Sid bring up Palm Springs Golf, cuz all dads love golf, right? Though CD-is are for mothers as well, which is why Sid introduces her to Kathy Smith Personal Trainer, a work out video disc that has an aerobics instructor with an eye patch. Just figured I’d mention that.

After Four Weddings And A Funeral’s name is dropped for the second time (btw, not once does the informercial ever show a clip, we never even see what the packaging looks like), several other games are mentioned. Nothing manages to pique mom’s interest, until she finds out that there’s a CD-i version of Jeopardy, which is what allows mother and child to bond over technology, and in a way that simply is impossible via CD-ROM or any other old-fashioned piece of tech! As Sid exits the house, after successfully extolling the virtues of the CD-i yet again, he comes across Ed who is only now arriving (his tardiness is largely due to the nap he took on the way). Sid notes “not to make excuses for him, but Ed was born twenty minutes after me and has been late ever since.” Sick burn Sid, sick burn.

Afterwards is the first commercial break within the commercial programming, which is consistent with the format of the medium. This is the first opportunity for the viewing audience to purchase their own machine, for just 8 payments of $62.50? That’s $500. Plus $19.95 for shipping and handling (also, please allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery). The selection of software and entertainment available is detailed, including yet another mention of Four Weddings And A Funeral (we are told there are plenty of movies for the platform, but we only ever hear about one specifically, with the key word here being “hear”). I seem to recall the Turbo Duo’s hefty price tag being justified with a slew of quality pack in titles, and the CD-i is no slouch in comparison… of the six discs included there’s Chaos Control (yawn), Space Ace (okay, that’s slightly better), Compton’s Encyclopedia (okay, before there was Wikipedia there were encyclopedias, so I can see Compton’s actually being a legit enticing piece of software at the time), and a Beatles cover record.

Next is our second tale of truth and discovery, entitled Game Machine. The scene opens up in a living room inhabited by three totally radical teens. The kid any gamer could at home could totally relate to! One’s playing an unspecified game console, another’s just rocking on to some killer tunes via headphones. Unfortunately he gets a bit into the music and ends up knocking over the console, which breaks (which upon freezing of the frame reveals an answering machine instead of a SNES or Genesis). This pisses of the third kid, who had been chillin’ on the couch, eating pizza while on his back (I used to that a lot as a kid… okay, not really). It’s his house and the console is technically his father’s, so a call for help is made.

As before, Sid intercepts Ed’s communiqué from his boss. And as one might expect, video games take center stage in this segment; first up is a full motion driven adventure game called Burn:Cycle that’s about cyber espionage though the mid 90s lens (the best kind, of course). Which is where my other fave shot from the infomercial shows up, right after one of them bites it. I love it when actors are supposed to do something that should be natural, yet either due to poor acting skills or a clueless director (I want to believe in this case it’s the latter), it comes off as anything but... 

We then check in on Ed real quick, who is being proactive this time but unfortunately got the address wrong, so he instead shows up at some biker gang’s hideout. Back to Sid, who details the second game for the segment… and it’s Chaos Control for the second time?! Footage from Space Ace is shown after, which is odd, given the type of game that the CD-i was practically made for. Otherwise… we’re constantly told that there are 200 titles available, but the same ones that were showcased with the mom and the small boy are mentioned yet again, even the workout video.

This second segment is not as interesting as the first one, plus it’s not as long either. When the gamer dorks assume that dad has come home, they start panicking because the place is a mess, due to abundance of half eaten pizza slices all over the place (cuz, you know, teenagers). But it’s Ed, who got lost on the way; instead of the boys’ house, he encountered a biker gang. Though we get zero explanation as to what, if anything, had happened.

The ending is also fairly anticlimactic, and the whole thing’s a disappointment to be honest. After a repeat of the commercial break from before, we arrive at the third and final vignette, A VCR’s Last Meal. So you all know already what this one is going to be. As before, the scene opens up in a living room with a man and a woman, a couple sitting on the couch, watching a movie. Sid tells us that they’re movie buffs, though he also explains how their VCR has also developed “quite the appetite” for film as well, hence why they’re regular customers of Ed.

Not surprisingly, their tape (which we are told is Forest Gump, and not Four Weddings And A Funeral; talk about a missed opportunity to flex the CD-i version being superior over the VHS edition) is eaten up by their machine. A call is immediately made the guy has a slightly argumentative exchange on the phone, who states that because of their extended warranty, he wants Ed to give it another shot at fixing it. Ed gets the dispatch, but his hands are full, eating what appears to be two maybe even three slices of pizza at once... 

At this point, the infomercial’s negative characterization of Ed and all that he represents officially went over the line. Sid, whose very healthy lunch is an assortment of fruit and vegetable slices and is an additional dig at his brother, decides to steal yet another client from Ed. What a jerk.

The moment Sid arrives, he barges himself into the couple’s abode, replaces the VCR with a CD-i and considers the job done. The dude wonders what the f and our pitchman explains that he’s offering a new way to consume movies. Sid identifies just one title… any guesses which… and then goes onto to tout the CD-quality sound. The girlfriend or wife (not sure what the nature of their relationship really is) seems immediately sold, but the boyfriend or husband is not. So Sid fires up a movie, and just when we see a “Feature Presentation” graphic, he suggests play a video game instead? Great, so Four Weddings And A Funeral is seriously the ONLY movie for the platform, which they either don’t have the rights to show footage from or maybe it’s not even ready.

The game we see is Caesars World of Boxing. Sid initially hands the controller over to the man but then gives it to the woman instead. Cuz it’s funny you see. Because women don’t play video games you see. We briefly cut to Ed who is having engine troubles, and then it’s back to the woman playing the boxing game. And only her. Not sure if it’s a one player game only or if Sid simply doesn’t have a second controller. Can you plug more than one controller into the machine? I honestly don’t know! The woman is way into the game, mostly the violence, so Sid cuts her bloodlust off by popping in the CD-i version of Clue. It’s a video board game that has clips of all the characters, and because it’s not footage from the famous movie, I didn’t care and you probably won’t either.

The third video game used to convince a movie buff couple as to why they should dump their VCR for a CD-i is Burn:Cycle of all things. Afterwards, while Sid is applying the icing on the cake by pointing out how machine also plays games in addition to video games and nonexistent movies, Ed shows up looking pretty pissed. And for good reason; this bother has been stealing his customers for the past 24 minutes, or should I say stealing Ed of his livelihood. What we get is a shot in which Sid and Ed are facing each other, and since it’s the same actor playing both roles once again, it’s a bit of trick photography, but because their eye lines are not meeting the special effect is less than convincing. Anyhow, as Ed rambles on about how the couple is like family, the woman slips in a copy of Mad Dog McCree. Given how it’s an interactive movie, front and center, why wasn’t it brought up front and center to the film fanatics? Then again, playing a light gun with a standard controller is always lame, so maybe that’s why it barely gets any screen time.

In the middle of this, Sid notes that it’s quitting time for both him and his brother, so cut to them sitting on the couch, alongside the couple, with Ed enjoying some Mad Dog McCree himself! Am shocked it’s not all of them watching a movie, Four Weddings And A Funeral of course (we don’t see what they’re seeing, so it could have been possible). Sid’s voice over states “A minute of CD-i and years of rivalry just disappeared!” The last shot we see, before the infomercial ends with the third and final showing of the commercial, is of the van driving off. Before it said Sid’s CD-i Sales but there’s been some alterations, and now it states Sid & Ed’s CD-i Sales. Isn’t that cute. Am assuming this would last for maybe 4 more months, until Sid was forced to adopt Ed’s line of work. Or who knows, maybe the two would go onto drive around town and pitching Atari Jaguars?

[auburnfamilynews]

Montgomery Advertiser-USA TODAY NETWORK

Roll Bama Roll joins us to answer some questions to get you ready for the Iron Bowl!

Big thanks to Brent Taylor from Roll Bama Roll for taking the time to answer some Iron Bowl questions before today’s big game!

1. The Tua era is over at Alabama. What now? Is this Iron Bowl a chance for Mac Jones to audition for the job next year? Or is it assumed the Tagovailoa dynasty will continue next year?

I wouldn’t call it an audition necessarily, but this game will go a long ways toward giving Mac a leg up or dropping the coaches’ confidence in him for next year. He’s a QB with very nice touch on medium-to-deep routes, especially outside the hashes, which is a valuable trait. But he’s also shown a tendency to be wildly inaccurate when pressured even slightly (whether pressure in the sense of a charging defensive lineman or pressure in that he’s thrust into playing for Tua when he wasn’t expecting it), which will be crippling if he can’t work that out. This will be our first chance to really see if he can play under pressure.

Regardless, there’s going to be a lot of eyes on Alabama’s QB battle next year. Mac will have the first shot, but Taulia Tagovailoa has shown some promise as true freshman a couple of times this year. He’s smaller than his older brother, and doesn’t have the same arm strength or touch, but he’s quicker and a better scrambler/sandlot player (think an unproven version of Johnny Manziel, without the party issues). I’m not sure his style will ever truly translate to an Alabama offense, though. The wildcard is going to be incoming freshman Bryce Young. The nation’s top QB from California has been slaughtering the best high school teams in the nation all season, throwing for more touchdowns than incompletions in many games this year. It’s always a game of roulette on whether high school skills translate to college for QBs, but Young will step on to campus with the most talent of anyone on the roster.

2. If you had to pick one of these two days to relive for eternity, which would you pick: November 26, 2010 or November 30, 2013?

2010, without hesitation. It sucked, but Alabama wasn’t winning anything huge that season anyway. And that stupid fumble that tightroped down the sideline for 30 yards for a touchback was just proof that it was futile anyway. 2013, though, was Alabama’s chance for a 3-peat championship with a veteran team. It just wasn’t right. However, I would also say we are already having to relive that 2013 game for eternity anyway. There hasn’t been a single CBS game gone by in 6 years that Gary Danielson hasn’t brought up the kick-6 in some way or another. Call it the 2:30 purgatory.

3. The Alabama receiving core might be the best single unit in the country. Where do they stand against some of the other NFL talents Alabama has had, though? Julio? Amari? Calvin? Are any one them as good as those guys, or is it the collective group that makes them so impressive?

There will never be another receiver like Julio Jones, physically speaking. Nor in his impact on the program. I think Jerry Jeudy is a very similar receiver to Amari Cooper (maybe a touch slower, but with better jukes) in that he’s got great hands and is an elite route-runner with good size. Cooper didn’t split his targets with anyone, but Jeudy has split them with 3 other talented receivers. Swap them, and I think Jeudy would have put up similar stats to Amari in 2012-2014. I also think that Jeudy, DeVonta Smith, and maybe even Jaylen Waddle are all better receivers than Calvin Ridley was. Henry Ruggs is the least refined of the four, but his ungodly speed and physical nature make him a dangerous player as well.

We’ll probably never see the like of the four playing together in college football again. My only regret is that they couldn’t get even more targets in their career than they did.

4. One month into the Oatmeal era, how are we feeling? I’ve heard Dayton has a good up-and-comer head coach, do you think Greg Byrne will go take a look at him?

That was a low blow, even for a Barner.....

Coach Oates has a major challenge ahead of him in year one. Three of the new players he added to the roster are all going to miss the season, so he’s having to rely on a small roster of players from the previous coaching regime who are still learning an entirely new system and philosophy of offense. All without a true center on the roster. It’s going to be a rocky year, but the Tide does have one of the toughest out of conference schedules in the entire nation, so the team will definitely get some leeway come March.

5. I think everyone knows the best matchup on the field is going to be the Alabama offensive line versus the Auburn defensive line. Do you expect Sark to gameplan around guys like Derrick Brown and Marlon Davidson? Or do you think he’ll put his trust in Najee Harris and the OL to just get the job done?

Early on, I expect there to be a lot of jet sweeps and wide receiver screens to get the ball in the hands of Alabama’s four receivers before the Tigers have a chance to hit Mac Jones too much. If he can force Auburn to scale back on the all-out pressure they’ll be amped up on at the start of the game, he’ll start working in Najee Harris to gash you for 7 yards at a time before suddenly unleashing a deep shot. That’s how he’s schemed things up in Mac Jones’ two starts so far. But if Auburn shuts down that initial horizontal passing game, I’m honestly not sure how Sark will respond. I will say, though, his response to that will really earn his salary.

6. Eat shit and die. You don’t have to answer that, one of our other contributors just wanted it to be said.

Wait, is that cow farts I hear squeaking from across the state?

7. What’s caused the decline in this year’s defense versus previous years? Is it only the linebacker injuries, or is there some other Inside Baseball reason fans of other teams wouldn’t necessarily know?

I don’t think there’s any one reason. The injuries have been huge. Two middle linebackers (one an All-American, the other a senior), the three top defensive linemen, and then the 4th defensive lineman for good measure all being injured can really cause some issues. Against the annual cupcake last week, Alabama actually had 5 freshman (only one was redshirt freshman) in the center of their defensive front. Throw in a 5-star running back going down with a knee injury before the season and now Tua Tagovailoa, it’s really felt like the entire universe has been against us this year.

But back to the defense, Alabama also lost two players who declared for the draft early despite being unpolished 5th round picks last season, hurting depth even more. And then we’re on our 3rd defensive coordinator in as many years, and Pete Golding is a young, unproven guy. Throw in two major recruiting misses in Eyabi Anoma and Antonio Alfano (both 5-star pass rushers that transferred out within a year.... just a few months for Alfano...), and there’s been absolutely no stability in any facet on defense for three years now, and even Alabama can’t sustain success in that environment.

8. What’s your honest opinion on Georgia? Cute little brother trying to be just like you, even if he never will be? Or annoying, entitled little shit that won’t shut up?

Mostly the second. They’re annoying, annually overrated, and always copying everything Saban does, but at the very least they’re good for choking away a game when we need at the most. That said, I do really appreciate them for doing their part in hating Auburn. Some things just really have a way of bringing people together.

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2019/11/30/20989204/college-and-magnolia-football-q-a-alabama