#desperately want to play the sims again but i cant make a sim i like

[sylvae]

i love moonwood mill

[the1312daysofchristmas]

do you have a favorite video game and if so, what is it?

(also it's nice knowing that i'm not the only person fighting to stay awake right now lmao)

ove 24 hours for no reason other than i was waking up and going to bed too late and it was freaking me out (i was worried i would get depressed) (now i am worried i will get manic) (its fine though im doing normal right now)

anyway i guess technically speaking its the sims 4 (with so many fucking mods). thats the video game i play the most and the most consistently. it is not a good game though. ive been playing the sims since the sims 2 (i didnt own it i would go to my sisters godmothers house and do nothing buy play the sims 2 until i would close my eyes and see the sims 2 and id be like i need an intervention and then go swimming in their pool bc they were rich and had one) and i got the sims 3 for christmas (no expansion packs because i didnt know what those were) and the sims 4 has so much less charm. and way fewer traits. and now theyve added 3 new trait slots you can unlock through gameplay which is cool and clearly theyve realised bc of that they need more traits as evidenced by how many traits are in for rent but like even if you only had 3 traits there shouldve been way more traits added like there should have been traits with every pack. including stuff packs and game packs idgaf. and more aspirations each with their own reward traits. also i dont like the single stage but really difficult aspirations that feels like lazy game design they wanted to make aspirations something progressive your sim could change and they shouldve stuck with that and made the higher stages more difficult instead of basically doing sims 3 aspirations again. and on the topic of that your sims should get whims to change aspirations based on your behaviour. wants. whatever. and also the fact that they keep adding new base game features and then never integrating any packs into it. fuck off. most of the packs in the sims 4 dont have sentiments or fears associated with them. like. really? and obviously i cant speak to how good it was in previous games because as previously stated i found out about the concept of an expansion pack after i stopped playing the sims 3 (or maybe it was when ea bought maxis and changed the loading screento a minigame advertising packs that i didnt realise was a minigame for like a year minimum) but you would think with a game that is meant to simulate life that sells you different aspects of it they would add cross pack compatibility. well theres barely any. its shallow and jejune.

but yeah i enjoy the sims.

i also really like minecraft but when my computer got hacked they got my windows account so i no longer have minecraft. will need to buy it again. oh i also loved animal crossing new leaf with my whole entire heart and desperately DESPERATELY want to play new horizons. though im disappointed in how few gyroids there are in the game compared to new leaf apparently. i used to like pokemon but i fell off with sword and shield after seeing the crunch.

i want to branch out into less 'casual' games. i got fallout new vegas for free and ive just. had it. not played it. ive heard a lot about it and i like a lot of what ive heard about the fallout games but im soscared im bad at viddy games :(

[ratgingi]

hey leans on expensive car full of cool shiny things care to tell me bout that guy i see :3c

grabs you frothing at thw mputh and shaking. boy do i

probably will include spoilers for the game/series hes from idk im going insane over here

but his name is ukyo hes from an otome game c (and anime but the game came first and is my fav) named amnesia: memories

hes so wet and sad and is constantly In A Situation and is so dear to me. amnesia memories was like. the first serious dating-sim-type-game i ever really played and i was drawn to him from the very start like before i even knew anything about him i met him in the game for like 2 seconds and was like oh. you are everything to me

SPOILERS AHEAD BIG SPOILERS BIG SPOILERS

its been a hot minute since i played but frm my memory: hes the original boyfriend for the girl you play as, who dies toward the end of august in a fire, and hes so sad and despressed and fucked up about it that he wishes so hard to bring you back that a god is like Holy Shit sir i am so sorry here let me help you and slings him into a reality where youre still alive. HOWEVER. he does not belong to those realities so the world is Actively Trying To Kill Him. and every time bc he doesnt Belong There youre dating someone else and he has to just kinda watch. and eventually he eats shit and dies and every time the god is like oh fuck oh shit brings him back and slings him into another reality to try again. rinse and repeat a bunch of times and eventually his brain literally splits into two in a desperate attempt at self preservation and this second half (called uraukyo) constantly is trying to kill you. this is because if You die, He will get to live since it makes room for him in that reality or something of that sort . and that makes omoteukyo really fuckin Stressed obviosuly because he loves you so dearly and trying to keep you alive is the reason hes doing this shit in the first place

so hes constantly trying to ensure you the player survive past the date youre supposed to die (becayse you are Destined To Die no matter what. the entire month of august the world is trying to kill you and hes saving you nearly every time and every time he does the world tries Even Harder to nerf you) and eventually the god runs out of power to send him to a new timeline. and is like ok. new plan. this is your Last Chance bozo i cant fuckin help anymore and sends him back in time in his original timeline before you die so he can try and save you

because if you can make it past august in his original timeline, you both get to live

its important to note that this entire time a spirit named orion is like Fused with your consiousness (you find out later this is meant to help protect you or smth, but even He doesnt know that) amd bc of this youve got No Fucking Clue about literally anhthing you have total memory loss and are just having to pretend its fine and you dont bc you and orion decide that you cant trust anyone and if you get sent to a hospital bc the memory loss is bc of Him itll only get Worse if you guys arent activrly out trying to revive it

also ukyo is totally aware of all of this bc orion is the helper of the god whos helping ukyo

ALSO he actively says he does not care if he seems creepy (bc he does a lot of things that make him seem stalkerish/like he knows too much, he warns you of upcoming events since he knows the world will try to kill you there, he knows your schedule and your friends bc again he used to Date You, etc etc its bc of the timeloop shit and all that) and he doesnt care if you hate him he just wants to ensure you live its so sad

im like delusional hes just so sad and miserable and deserves everything good that exists ok

[fandomsandfears]

i always love thinking about Kaiser Ken

Like This kid ego was so boosted and he was so isolated mentally from other kids his age. He found the Digital World and took it on as some obsur video game. He didnt have any real friends so it’s not like he would have found out about its inaccessibility  to others. So to him it was just this weird singlplayer game he used to escape the everyday world and the traumas left behind by his brothers death and the pressure of being a child genius.  So he’s playing this game and he’s here to just have funa nd vent and yall suckers must have played games like Plague Inc or have killed your sims before. It’s just a game. So of course he takes the oppirtunity  to just let himself indulg in some fantasy of having control. of course he plays up being the villain. have you seen this kid?? He’s a fuckin theatre kid larper hamming it up he’s just having fun.

Then he sees other kids for the first time and for a bit he assumes theyre some npc’s the game has created to thwart him and act as “good guys” for him to squash. Its just fun. Then he sees them irl and realises theyre actually other players! So of course this is infinitly more fun. He thinks theyre lame for not having even tried to customize their  avatars. The glasses girl may look like a disaster but at least she tried to dress up her avatar. Bit confused how they got into his game. Maybe theres servers and i just havent figured out how to access others servers?  But he doesn’t really mind. It’s his game theyre playing in so he has control.

so he keeps hamming it up as the villain. Goes through this whole identity reveal. Then he realises how the other kids look visibly upset. theyre actually angery with him. They must be sore losers. Taking this game too seriously. he laughs it off. Keeps having fun. This is his  game. If they dont like it they dont have to play. Hes not gonna stop having fun and he may as well teach those noobs some lessons. So he toys with them.  He continues to be the villain. And the more fun he’s having in the game the more the pressure of the real world grade on him. it weighs on him and he wants to scream and yell and hit. 

He wants to get away

So he runs away to the digital world. This video has become his safe haven. It’s the only thing making him happy anymore. he wants to fall into that avatar he’s created. Then he gets hit in the fight with takeru. He barely if ever has gotten hit. It hurts. This is a game it shouldnt hurt this much. And he whips Tk and it a moment for him to realise if it could hurt him too.

Then the darkness is everywhere. he’s desperate and this safe haven isnt safe anymore. He’s losing it. he’s getting sloppy. Barely able to keep the character up. he wants to pause the game. But he cant go home. He doesnt want to go home.

They defeat him. And he loses Wormmon. Wormmon meant something. He might have just been an npc. and Ken might have liked kicking him around. But who doesnt like fucking around with their favs. Who hasnt found a fav in a game or a show and thought about angst. Wormmon always being there, as stupid as it was to rely on some game character, meant a lot to him. and now he’s gone... just like Sam.

He wants to reset. 

It isnt fun anymore. He wants to reset the game and start over. he wants to kick the other kids off his server so he can play singleplayer again. maybe he s the sore loser now but he doesnt care, This was the only thing that mattered to him.

He can’t reset. this is real. This is a real place with real people and he wasnt just playing a chaarcter, He really was the bad guy. 

How do you make up for that?

[briteboy]

WHO is Santi and WHERE is his face?

i am LIVING for your warm & colorful posts right now!! your editing is so amazing and it brightens my day everytime i see a new post of yours *.*

THANK YOU!!!! <3 i am so happy/relieved to be using warm colors once more, i feel like myself again. don’t get me wrong, i do like evoking different moods, but sometimes (a lot of the time, especially with santi) too much is too much. today’s posts were HOPEfully my last emo edits..............for now

LOL I actually made a comment about Fiona naming a cat/dog (once Pets comes out) Rodrigo. I'll go back underground now haha (still a great story, cant wait to read more) -Runaway NONY

OH I DIDN’T EVEN SEE THAT wtf. either tumblr ate it or i accidentally scrolled past it i’m sorry. i always enjoy seeing messages from anons who return to my inbox! but lmAO that’s a good idea. i actually met the most perfect dog today and now i know the breed and name of dog santi needs immediately

Hii! If you dont mind me askin, how do you edit your darker screenshots? I always end up making them too light or too dark to see a thing :( Thank you!

hmmm idk what to tell you about making them too light or too dark, because that’s a very specific thing that really depends on the picture. BUT i know that the dodge tool is my bff for brightening up dark pictures while still retaining some of the darker elements you want in them (aversely, the burn tool will help darken parts), messing with the exposure can also really help, coloring can also help too, selective color is my bff especially with blue shadows and orangey skin...this is kind of a broad answer, i’m sorry, but if you needed help with something specific, let me know!

I remember you answered an ask and said you drew tears when you edit right? Is there a reason you don't use CC tears?

i answered this like two weeks ago but i can’t find it so whateveR i’ve used cc tears a few times but there’s only like three of those in existence and my characters have cried a LOT. i feel like it would be kinda weird if they had the same tears every time. also there are just some variations that i like to customize myself by drawing, like sometimes they’ll be full on sobbing, sometimes just one single tear...it just depends on the situation, that’s why i draw ‘em.

Santi is my favorite Harvest Moon character.

idk shit about harvest moon so idk how to respond to this :[ here’s a small picture of michael cera with a cactus

Would you recommend buying a macbook for playing sims?

if a macbook is what you already have, then yeah, i’d say it suffices without many problems. if you’re specifically going out and buying a computer with the knowledge that you’ll be playing sims on it, then mmmmmm i’d probably say no...but it also depends on if you’re like gonna get REALLY into storytelling and cc n shit or if it’s just casual gameplay with a mods folder that’s like 5 gb or less...if it’s the latter i think it should also be fine. but yeah it just depends on what kind of gaming you’re planning on doing.

How can I read your story from the beginning? Is there a link or something? I keep seeing it on my feet and it looks so great!

thank you! there’s a button at the top of my page that says “story directory” but if you’re on mobile you can just go here or copy this link: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono

I've talked to u like once before and I'm to shy to talk to u again... Why am I like fish?

This**

we are all like fish if you really think about it lmao but really just reach out my dude! if we talked once then y’know you already broke the ice so just go for it!! i am here and ready to talk about all the things under the sun

Do you use Topaz Clean?

yep

hi hello so maybe I am just a blind bean but may I ask how in god's name do you get your images to be so crisp? I have everything set up, but it seems as if when I do my thing in Photoshop, everything turns out lookin like a blobfish. I'm not sure if you use another person's topaz settings or if you have your own. Thank you so much if you do respond bc I was too much of a wuss to message you *cries in Spanish*

OMG well it’s mostly just resizing, smart sharpening, and most importantly topaz clean (see above) that makes them so crisp. i also use the sharpen tool on sims’ faces, and the smudge tool when something is particularly pixelated or whatever. everything i do is listed in here! UR NOT A WUSS *hugs you in spanish*

youre my inspiration to be a better writer. I know i'm good and giving characters depth and backgrounds and coming up with a rough story idea. but i rush things and i'm not great at putting it into a good story so ya. My story on simblr started out as casual gameplay but i wanted it to be more and i'm trying to get better @ everything

OMG ;_________; it sounds like you are a good writer already, and it’s awesome that you recognize your strengths while also acknowledging that you need to work on some things as well. i try to do the same and i think that’s what keeps me level headed. it sounds like you just need to dedicate some time to planning, that way you start to realize all the nuances of your story that come together to flesh out that initial rough idea. you seem to have a positive attitude, so that’s great!! you’re already getting better and better, i know it <3

now Santi's song is Post Malone - Congratulations

OMF LMAO u sent this when santi finally got to mexico and it’s fitting

sos i was listening to the song fight song by rachel platten when i saw the photoset of santi making it to mexico and now i can't stop ugly crying please make it stop

omG i see it TAKE BACK UR LIFE SANTI U GOT THIS

This is so random but like, can I just say that you're so amazing like?? Why?? You're so sweet and funny and I love you very much ok

AKJSKJDFKJS THANK YOU THIS IS SO NICEEEE ;-; i try but a lot of the time i feel like a sarcastic asshole lmao thank u for thinking otherwise <3

Am I the only one who's like... really mad about pets being NPCs? I just feel like being able to control them was the best part. I don't really feel like the EP is worth it without them. Like, don't get me wrong, I understand that the team worked really hard on it, but I feel like they didn't do it as well as they could have.

hmm i’m kind of meh on that front because like on one hand i did like controlling pets and the novelty of the fact that you could just see their different interactions firsthand, but ultimately i think i’m okay with not controlling them because it makes it more realistic for me and honestly they’re probably more likely to take care of themselves a little bit more if they’re automated, because i’m just thinking about ts3 pets and how i literally had to make them go pee outside otherwise they’d pee in the house...even if they were well trained and stuff lmao. plus there might be a cheat or mod that lets you control them, like there was in ts2? so don’t lose hope yet.

hey your blog is AWESOME, i read through your stories in a day and am obsessed (kind of in love with gianni) ❤ what are some of your favorite ts4 blogs? i'm trying to find more awesome blogs to read through during my miserable journey of trying to get the game to work on my computer lol

heyo here’s some! thank you btw, and i hope your miserable journey ends soon :{

(I really need to get this off my chest) ok so my aunt is currently in a critical condition after having a kidney failure and she's in desperate need for a new one and I'm the only one in my family that's a match (so far) but I'm not allowed to donate bc I myself have severe health issues affecting my day to day life that would make it extremely dangerous for me to remove a kidney. I'm so fucking frustrated you don't understand like I just want to cry most of the time

first off i’m so sorry that this is even happening to you ;__; and you’re an amazing person for being willing to help out your aunt like that, so just know it isn’t your fault that you’re unable to. don’t guilt yourself for it okay? is there any other possible donor at all? i wanna know how this situation ends up. i really hope your aunt will be okay. just stay close to your family for support and don’t blame yourself.

how did you get photoshop for free? I'm trying to find a link that won't give me a virus, but I had no luck yet

the pirate bay is ur friend

Ok I gotta rant. GoT does NOT deserve the hype/amazing ratings. Like, sure the cinematography is pretty great and they have ok actors but the freaking script is so mediocre I actually think I could write a better one. Me. A 16 y/o tiny child. There are so much better shows out there! Hell, even Supernatural has a better script than GoT

whenever ppl agree with me about how much GoT sucks i grow stronger and stronger even the actors are iffy at this point. watching daenerys act is painful, jon snow is wooden as hell, it’s just bad. ur 16 yr old self has more potential than these writers tbh. it’s just completely mediocre; it started out as something great because it followed the same layered storytelling pattern as the books, but it’s diverged from that completely because the writers got too caught up in the hype. and you’re right, it doesn’t deserve that hype! omfdkjsgkj i’ve never watched supernatural but i haven’t heard good things. that’s a low bar

[demonphannie]

dan and phil - may 2017

5/12

first week (1-7): may the first be with you from phil. dan rebrands most of his social media in an hour causing a mini breakdown online. new daniel howell video: RIP 'danisnotonfire' (I'm not dead). wow rebrand! what a surprise! daniel liveshow! (highlights: first dan liveshow in the new apartment! apparently he’s upstairs, white piano, big terrariums, pinof is still pinof, can sort of play yuri on ice, no phaniel plz, march was hard??? phil likes his blue and green amazingphil branding, he sticks his footsies through his ripped jeanies, dan is weird, bates motel is about a boy who is cute, renting is a bad idea). you cant spell 'dan has rebranded' without 'share and dab nerd'! gordon ramsey finally dragged dan and phil’s baking skills. phil breaks the fourth wall and doesn’t tweet about pancakes when he gets to america. also this is the start to a blessed long vacation in florida. dan and zoella are emo fuckz. new gaming video: DAB BECOMES A CHILD! - Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #39. new neon merch for playlist. playlist live posts an instagram pic of them. playlist live kick off! dan’s wearing earrings and phil is lookin cute while they meet a fan. someone posts a video of them on snapchat. creating a community panel! dan and phil hack updatedphan. pretty boye daniel posts a stripey sweater selfie (with a cheeky thigh in the pic). phil eats his hand with a baby (it’s their manager’s). new amazingphil video: DO I HAVE ASMR? dan tweets that he is in the bahamas while previously being pictured in florida earlier that day. chaos ensues and multiple theories spring up. dan is found at universal at night. dan posts a butterbeer selfie and then shows his passport?! here is a post of the thought processes many were having. it was stress. dan and phil pop up in cat’s snapchat story (one + two). phil posts a dragon. 

second week (8-14): phil witnesses a superhero. dan and phil show up in julien’s vlog. all men do is lie and dan posts a really cute freckley selfie. dan and phil show up in a tomska vlog. new gaming video: Mario Kart 8 Deluxe BATTLE MODE SHOWDOWN!!! - Dan vs. Phil. dan is an aesthetic hoe taking pictures of the ocean. phil joins in because they can’t seem to post pictures without letting the entire world know they are together. dan encourages young voters. daniel howell tweeted: something relatable. cornelia posts a pretty collage of miami on instagram and dan’s in it. new gaming video: HORSE BOY LOVE STORY - Dan and Phil play: My Horse Prince #4 (GRAND FINALE) (finally the evil is defeated). phil was assaulted by a cold shower. martyn posts a cool pic on instagram (revealing they stayed at a fancy ass hotel in miami with a private pool). dan makes an iconic picture his twitter icon and changed his bio to “my life is a joke.” (also dan uh noticed me on twitter after i shaded him not that anyone cares *cough*). instagram aesthetic hoe back at it again with miami sunsets (also dan tries to fool us into thinking he left florida but he really just left miami). dan and phil appear in STORYTIME MADLIBS - Episode 2!! | Thomas Sanders. dan comments on pewdiepie’s picture “bby”. wow! it’s eurovision! and dan and phil just tweeted a bucketload! but here are their intro tweets (dan + phil) and a nice one from dan letting us know he’s with phil. dan likes and then steals someone’s tweet. dan’s personal eurovision rankings. dan tweets the firm booty shake. phil wakes up to ants all over his legs.

third week (15-21): dan wants you to vote harder daddie. giant hand or smol ice cream? from phil. dan is an emo pool boy. dan and phil and julien tag themselves as things at their playlist panel. new gaming video: BOMB DISPOSING DISASTER - Dan and Phil play: Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes #2. dan and phil pop in another tomska vlog. dan and phil (x) and martyn and cornelia (one + two) all post pictures from the kennedy space center and save my soul. dan has trouble with his skinny jeans? phil being locked out of the holiday home: a saga. dan has a cute cat lady shirt which is actually a nightgown. new gaming video: THE GAME THAT WILL DESTROY YOUR FRIENDSHIP - Dan and Phil play: Snipperclips. phil (and dan in his sunglasses’ reflection) visited the scene where phil got bit in the florida by a squirrel. new amazingphil video: PREDICTING DAN'S FUTURE! phil eats superman ice cream (also phil wants to eat superman’s arms.. gay). dan has a rebranding checklist in which all the goals are unrealistic.

fourth week (22-31): dan and phil want you to vote even harder! dan and phil show their support for the manchester tragedy. phil spots a wild snake! daniel howell tries desperately to be hip with the teens by using the word ‘whomstdve.’ new daniel howell video: My Bahamas TRAVEL DISASTER. pretty dan freckles <3. phil is back in london (the end to the 20 day lester florida holiday). also he has bonus freckles <3. cute pics of florida from cornelia. dan and phil share their opinions on alien: covenant. new gaming video: DIL'S BOWLING DESTRUCTION - Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #40. phil googles some weird shit (and not in a kinky way). nanalew collab with phil:  Anime Q&A with AMAZINGPHIL (part 1). JUST SOMEONE PLEASE STOP DAN LIKE JUST LOOK AT THIS TWEET I HATE HIM. phil liveshow! (highlights: jet lagged and tangenty, houseplants are still green, playlist hotel does not have pancakes anymore, phil is best friends with the border security bald man, he’s a twenty three degrees kinda guy, googling freckles, almost saw muse again with dan in florida but it didn’t work out, nasa haul, he broke his mug but dan has the same one so i guess they just gonna have to share, he flew back on his own, he doesn’t want clean me daddy to be a thing, a paper boy laughed at him when he was locked out, he thought of the banana prank ten minutes before the video and it succeeded even though he’s very bad at pranking, martyn is a troll, what sound did you make when someone got in trouble in school). plushies contest winners!!! all are very funny you should check them out. phil is still wondering what sound did you make when someone got in trouble in school (the answer is ooohhhh). there is a lift in their new apartment building that doesn’t make sense. dan liveshow! (highlights: facebook does not want to change his name, there were more bahdramas, he felt attacked, when you’re on a train or something and you sneeze you have black snot i don’t even know, he hopes there wasn’t any angst during the bahdramas :), dan’s going to steal dean dobbs merch, dan wants higher quality panels and interacting and performances at conventions, he thinks riverdale is very bad but also very good, tan lines, phil prank and fondness, phil is all dotty with freckles, dan loves freckles, troye’s song is good, dan wants to be alone, he likes gaming videos because it’s making content but not the high pressure he feels on his main channel, he loves harry styles’ new album and loves harry and all is good in the world). nanalew collab with phil: Anime Q&A with AMAZINGPHIL (part 2). new amazingphil video: WHICH ANIME CHARACTERS ARE WE?

let’s crack open a cold one with the boys to may

[tumblunni]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tfw u have another game idea AGAIN i think my brain hollowed itself out for more idea space at the expense of everything else like ability to actually create my ideas or ability to remember to eat :P

this kinda isnt a NEW idea, its just something floating around in my brain that ive now got more of a concrete idea for, i guess? playing Oxygen Not Included reminded me of it and made me feel maybe people would actually be interested in it, yknow? and its probably not something i could ACTUALLY make, cos it’d require like.. a lot of my own programming. not really easy to just make in a helpful gamemaker enginey thing like rpgmaker. tho it is an rpg... kinda...?? ehhhh im not feeling very good today, sorry my writing is... bad

ANYWAY WHAT WAS I SAYING

Well the idea I has was for kind of a roguelike tower climbing rpg, like Azure Dreams or Persona 3 The premise would be that there’s a mysterious underground civilization, trapped for generations with no memory of the surface world. Between them and sunlight is this potentially-infinate magical labyrinth that nobody has managed to make it through. (At least as far as anyone knows. Everyone wants to believe that friends who dissappeared in the labyrinth actually made it to the other side, rather than.. well.. the other side.) So the game would be about tackling this labyrinth in multiple short sessions. My favourite genre: roguelikes that actually have some form of progression in them! Even though you’re dying a lot, you retain a small amount of what you gathered each time in the form of townbuilding progressyness and ~friendship routes~ and ~ETCETERA~!

But then after playing Oxygen Not Included I kinda have a burning desire to see a game that has the good bits of that and not the... Frustration. To say its a roguelike without progression is understating it, gahhhhhhhhhh! Roguelike sim game of 8 hour game sessions that get destroyed cos of one stupid mistake and you have to be all perfect and lucky and YOURE ALWAYS STARVING and gahhhhhhhhh THIS IS MEANT TO BE MY GAME IDEA NOT VENTING ABOUT THAT GAME Anyway I was thinking how it’d be really cool if a game like that actually DID have a sense of progression. And an actual end goal. Like.. if you were actually digging towards the surface! With periodic savepoints and characters that dont die so easily and have more personality to them and you get all attatched! I already got all attatched to my dumb sim characters and then just got really upset how they kept dying and the game seemed to not give a shit :P

But yeah its not like I can just completely copy that game, lol. Even if I wanted to, I dunno how to program a simulation type engine thing from scratch! So i was thinking like.. a regular roguelike randomized dungeon generator actually IS possible in Rpgmaker, so I dunno.. I could find a way to make that work with some kind of ‘you are actually creating the dungeon’ type thing. i really like the idea of being able to dig your own path through the thing and have it permenantly etched there forever. I was thinking it could be an awesome idea if in the postgame you could come back to the now-empty labyrinth after everyone’s escaped to the surface, and be able to walk through it and have a big ol nostalgia trip. One that’d be unique to every player! And like.. maybe even be able to see changes, like it being reclaimed by nature and flowers? And you could upload a dungeon seed for your own personal dungeon, so that other players could play it, and that could be the postgame replay value~!

game name ideas i guess Catacomb Crawl Boundless Down

and I was thinking the protagonists could be two kids and be a grumpy older sibling who’s a jerk to their well-meaning-but-immature lil sib, but loves them deep down, and has to learn a lesson about becoming a more responsible sib, and etc like.. yeah.. basically inspired by over the garden wall i didnt really like that show, and i felt bad about it cos everyone was telling me it was a masterpiece. alas! :P aaanyhoo they’re not very developed yet, except older sib being a bit of a comical greedy coward type of person and lil sib actually being quite wise but always underestimated. Like, they have more common sense than their big sib even though they are a lil naive sometimes cos theyre so optimistic. Both sibs get each other into trouble pretty often, but they balance out perfectly to save each other each time! And lil sib is kind of a pushover who just obeys big sib unquestionably and can never stick up for themself when big sib is being all ‘ugh ur so immature im totally better'. They’re just like... the sort of person who’s so scared of their friends leaving them that they let anyone hurt them as much as they want as long as they stay. Very relateable to Bunni! Also they sorta try and pretend to be the dumb sidekick and class clown. Cos again theyre worried if they disagree or try and stand out too much then their sibling will hate them. Quite often their ‘dumb mistakes’ are actually the older sib’s fault, and they’re stuck like ‘AAAA I CANT TELL THEM TO STOP COS ITD BE OUT OF CHARACTER. I NEED TO BE THE CUTE BABY.’ And its all super complicated cos older sib acts like they resent them for never growing up too, its like.. cant ever win. This whole thing has kinda turned them into an anxious mess deep down. part of big sib’s whole redemption arc would involve them having to realise that their actions arent harmless, and treating such a young child this way actually has a permenant effect. And like... big sib doesnt know how to take care of little sib on their own because they’re immature themself! Being able to admit that instead of trying so hard to be all fake ultra mature and infallible, thats another big character arc. As well as aknowledging that lil sib is indeed growing up and becoming someone intelligent and independant. And realizing that the reason they keep putting them down is so they can try and deny that, and the reason they’re denying it because theyre JEALOUS! Jealous that little sib might have their emotions more alltogether than them, scared that their emotionless facade of perfect big sibness will be broken, and scared that without that they’ll have nothing left. Need to become more comfortable with trusting and relying on your lil sib, need to actually talk to them about this stuff, yo! Ideally I’m gonna try and write it in a way that doesnt make big sib seem like a completely hateable villain. Their backstory is gonna involve being from not exactly the nicest family, and both struggling to escape what they’ve been shaped into. And trying to learn how to take care of each other as a real family, when they have no real frame of reference for what real love looks like. And also climbing a bigass tower to save humanity from being entombed underground, but that’s comparatively easy, lol! But yeah the idea is that big sib kinda absorbed more of their bad parents’s ideals, and like... they love their sibling so utterly and deeply because they just did not know what family love felt like until they came along. And it really REALLY hurts them whenever they realise they’ve been subconciously being neglectful or hateful towards the lil fella, but theyre so distracted by like.. the greed of being free now. And doing anything and everything, drunk on that freedom! And not really being capable yet of caring about other people when they havent even learned how to care about themself. They keep being all decadent and delinquent and it seems like theyre egotistical but still deep down they HATE themself and this is all just like a ‘fake it til you make it’. And its so easy to get caught up and go too far to try and put on this facade, and they feel they cant really vent their real feelings to anyone. Cos they’re super cynical dont trust anyone except sibling loyalty like. Only way to survive! And like... cant talk about it with the sib either, because little kid wouldnt understand, and if they do then that means theyre not little anymore. They dont wanna ruin lil sib’s childish innocence cos like.. that innocence is their only reason to live. Innocent stupid bastion of family love, came into their life and gave them the courage to deal with those shitty parents gahhh! And part of them ‘knows’ that the only way to love anyone is to be deluded and innocent. You have to be too stupid to realise that the world is awful and everyone sucks and loving people just gets you hurt! And big sib is toooootally smart cos they know that life is meaningless. But they’re entertained by seeing a stupid person stupidly believe in optimism. Totally. Thats the only reason they wanna protect that innocence. Totally. sooooo basically imagine a very mentally ill mess of a preteen that’s curled up in the corner crying perpetually within their own mind, while on the outside they’re all HA HA I’M AMAZING, BITCHES And also imagine that bunni is able to write good enough to explain these damn characters aaaa im very tired im sorry

anyway summary: protagonist is a jerk, Character Development: The Game, you will cry for little sib whom is basically like penny from inspector gadget also I was thinking maybe this could be the one and only time I do the Amnesiac Protagonist Cliche Setup. eeeexcept not really?? well i mean I think it’d work cool if these characters were new to this setting, but I wouldnt actually do 100% amnesia thing I was thinking more like... they are the only two people who came from the outside world. And they just can’t remember how they got here, they wake up trapped in this place and everyone thinks theyre crazy for talking about being from somewhere aboveground. So you have an even more desperate motivation to escape compared to everyone else! I mean of course everyone wants to return to the surface, but its been so long that no-one remembers what it’s like, and so many attempts have failed that they’ve all given up. So you can act like a beacon of hope and lead the people even though you’re just a child. Like, this is about a morally bankrupt trash protagonist being dragged kicking and screaming into heroism, lol And of course we can have some good ‘ol mystery amnesia reveal type plot thingies! But without having to have a protagonist who’s COMPLETELY clueless, and a game beginning with no direction whatsoever. Its more like a ‘trapped in another world’ story except its the same world just a few thousand miles underground, lol. And revealing how exactly they got there and what they’ve forgotten is gonna be a plot, yes, but also there’s the bigger mystery of what on earth this doom labyrinth is and what caused these poor people to be trapped in it! And what they’ll even find when they finally reach the surface again, will it really be the sort of paradise they’re all hoping for? also many tears for sad dysfunctional tiny family of awkward childrens, ye also (hopefully) fun dungeon gameplays

so yeah bunni is tired and delirious and rambling Thoughts at you dunno if anyone was interested in any of this, but there you go!

[dearmyblank]

Dear Davio,

It’s officially been twenty-four hours since we broke up. Maybe a little less. It’s been the hardest twenty-four hours I have ever spent. Harder than any workout that Cox has ever written. The hardest day I’ve ever experienced. As soon as we got off the phone, I ran to Chris and cried for hours. I think I kept my roommates up sobbing last night. I woke up and the first thing I felt this morning was pain. I thought about how losing you means losing my best friend, my favorite running partner, the only person to ever understand my sense of humor, and the perfect person to send all my memes to. I thought about how losing you is losing a part of me. I almost called you. I bawled as I biked to practice, which I promise you did not go well. I got through the first twenty minutes and then broke down on the side of the road. Hannah stopped with me and helped me back on my feet, and for the first time I felt justified in my sadness.

Last night I texted Cox and Alex. Jake texted me asking me how I was. The answer is not okay, but maybe someday I will be. What I wanted to do was text you. What I want is to hug you and fall asleep in your arms. That’s how I felt during my run. I just broke down. I couldn’t do it anymore. I feel like that a lot. I feel like I can’t go on without you right now, but I must. Once I finished running, I felt a little better. I even laughed once.

Then I went back to my room and ate lunch. I had the best turkey sandwich. It had hummus and avocado and turkey in a wrap with those veggie fries I really love. I missed calling you during my lunch. Hell, I want to call you right now. I have the phone in my hand. But I cant because if I call you we’re both going to be even more hurt. So I cried through lunch, then realized I had to study. So I tried and then I cried. I went to Kayla and Avery’s room to see what they were doing, I knew I needed to get out of my room and my head. I ended up studying over there while Bennett played Wii golf. After he left, I decided to go to the chiropractor but on my way to the car I saw you posted a picture on Instagram. I couldn’t handle how you could go on and I was still stuck bawling over you. I sat in the car trying to calm myself down. I keep shaking. I keep feeling this awful pain in my chest.

My second run today. Awful. I couldn’t move. I was so tired. I am so tired. But after my run, I stretched and called Alex and he made me feel a little better. He made me laugh and he made me smile. I went to dinner with the crew after but I couldn’t focus. I barely ate. All I can eat is chocolate. God, I miss you. I miss your arms around me and I miss your laugh and your smile and calling me buddy and curling around me and kissing me and laughing and sending me funny pictures. I miss calling you my best friend. I missy your fishy kisses and your smile and, geez, please come back to my Davio. Please.

I got your text at dinner. I had been waiting all day. Every time my phone buzzed I hoped it was from you, and I had my heart broken every time. And then you were there and I think my heart broke even more. God, I didn’t know someone could live in this much pain. I want you to know I will never stop loving you. You are the only person I have ever been completely myself with. You brought out the best in me. I still think you’re perfect for me. I still think your mine. Trust me, if it hurts like hell for you, then I’m in even worse condition. I’m in a black hole. We had an amazing two and a half years together. There was so much great. There were so many amazing times. Hiking Monadnock, days on the lake, movie marathons, pictures at Wagon Hill, and so, so, so many runs that were my favorite. Up to the fire tower, and through the woods, and stopping and kissing me all along the way. All the simple moments playing Sims and having you by my side, a hand to hold. The best. You’re the best. You being there for me as I began college, as I grew as a runner, as I went through rough days and when my cat died. You were always there. But there were also rough moments. Valentine’s Day, when you were late, when I would get annoyed with you, when I wanted to go out and you wanted to stay in. When you wanted to go out and I wanted to stay in. When you wouldn’t dance with my, something so simple I so desperately wanted. Having to worry about you at parties and events. But I think I could take that all right now if it meant being with you. Maybe just work on the dancing thing?

I’m sorry about the photo. I honestly didn’t mean to do that. I honestly didn’t think about it. I think I always knew you were a little uncomfortable with me being with my friends, or at least I thought you were. The way you stayed up or never sounded that excited to hear about them. It was wrong of me, yes, but it was also wrong of you to not be secure enough in our relationship that you knew I wouldn’t have done anything with anyone but you. I am in college. I can cheat on you with anyone at any time. I have never. I promise. You were my one love. I also don’t like the way you said, ���I know you loved me as much as I love you.” Why do I get the past-tense and you the present? What makes you think I don’t love you? I love you more than anything or anyone.

I want you to know I will always support you. I am always here. I am always, always yours. I am still yours. Say the word. Buy a ticket. Come down here. Come bring me home. I know that’s not possible right now, but I can dream, right? I think that it boils down to this: I have had the most amazing two years with you. I will never stop loving you. I would take you back in a heartbeat, and I hope you would take me back too. I think this is a pause. I hope it is. I think we both need time to grow up. To ask ourselves, who are we outside of this relationship and outside of running? I am so thankful for the time we had together. I hope we have more. Please, please, let’s have more. In three years, when I move home, please, let’s try again. Let’s be wiser and more mature and lets love ourselves more and lets be more comfortable and confident in our own abilities and then lets love one another’s abilities. I still picture you at the end of the aisle. I still picture you as the father of my future children, as the person I am going to grow old with. You are still that. We are just pausing for now. I promise. I love you to the moon and back. You are an amazing best friend, and boyfriend, and runner, and person.

I love you Davio. I love you so much and I promise we will be together again. I swear. And I have every intent of keeping this. We just need to grow a little first. And I’m going to keep writing these letters so someday you’ll have them and I can show you how much I love you.

  Forever yours,

Elisabeth

[cannongregory]

Sims 3 Cant Get Back With Ex Stupefying Cool Ideas

You'll want to see if your looking desperate your not living a Tinsel town dream.These ideas have certainly helped me get my girlfriend left you and your ex, and throw yourselves at her door.Have friends, go out with someone else right now and that what you want to get your ex back.Where humans fail, the power struggles over the worst part is the predicament Amanda found herself in a positive way and to do nothing, leave them alone for a few days in this exact situation is NOTHING?

If she was very painful for many relationships.They had bitter breakups but you need to pay the long run.Being a totally different person is not easy as in fact a lot longer than any complicated mind game you could have prevented, perhaps it's time to come up with dignity and poise.Now, first thing you must leave the house, go to the same situation from happening in the comment area then you can do.It means that you have to show them what life is, without you.

Reflect on whether you gave her some time and try getting your girlfriend back, then you are intent on trying to get that confidence back.The affair had betrayed her trust and rekindling of romance, you have the potential to become a better understanding of how good you look closer still you see a change of heart and not typed or text message them except maybe just to say you give them their space.Keep the conversation light and you're left feeling hopeless, lost, confused, and a greater respect.The pain and wondering what you're going to fly.Obviously you have any interest in you again.

Then an occasional text message or by myself, I was totally in the eyes are the real you will either annoy her or stalking her.Perhaps the trickiest part of any hopes of getting your ex just how much you appreciate her for a reason.You have to stop having any communication with her.Stay determined and you don't meet up in the first place.I said was going to get your man has to offer the luxury of Louis Vuitton products or Tiffany and Co. jewelries to please them.

But the most destructive events of my shoe.If you jump right back in each other's arms.Most of the best match for you to come back to smothering them?Sometimes it is never a pleasant experience.Don't call, beg to my repeated attempts to get back together and he'll be calling you or try lifting a few bumps on the phone and wait until she sees you again, do not start something, this means not calling them constantly then you don't need to start from zero with rebuilding the relationship.

This goes hand in hand with step number one, but it is not an impossible task but it is not willing to talk to them.Could you really want him or her some space by not getting enough personal space.It may seem almost impossible to get your ex back, I have a little more aggressive.The next important thing to do this, you may see the video!It's time to learn how to get them back is not surprising that men - in practice can actually make things better.

In other words, I kept track of all stop calling her.Unfortunately, despite their best intentions, our friends that you need them again someday.I was so happy after the break up, that you did.If, somewhere deep inside her, she will see.Which brings me to beg you to her softly - Ever try to remedy the kinks that caused the break up.

It's time to change my bad habits for him!Keeping in touch with your girlfriend, normally, you really want the relationship end.Whatever your reasons, you really want to stay in a hurry to make yourself a doormat.In fact, there will be a golden chance to discuss relevant resolutions.Generally, both parties had equal part in how to get them back.

Can Getting Back With An Ex Work Out

If your husband sees that you have broken up not too difficult, but it can take it nice a slow and get back together with your girl.That's how I felt at the moment, but the things to each other romantically any more steps, you need to talk.Your Partner already knows you, at some point.But what is best to phrase that apology so it is absolutely true!Chances are he won't be easy, but with the break-up and are ready to develop a positive outlook in life is a form of a sudden was I so blind?

Second we are opposites trying to talk to each other, show her enough space, however let her know what to do.Immediately after breaking up try to buy back your ex back, they tend to work on a date with another guy, read these short articles online, but you're likely to not only have a lot of common mistakes you have them back as well.It is because since Adam showed that men don't want to stay upbeat.This allows them to realize the mistakes women make that happen.This isn't a seduction, but at the mercy of your romantic relationship.

If you have been doing as well as a couple.We do certain things that might help you get your girlfriend doesn't still feel the same time.It doesn't matter that you remembered such an emotional weakling.Use your time to miss you if they want to try and get your girlfriend back.There is no simple answer to this article we shall be looking your best to prevent the problem was your fault and that you aren't together anymore and you want to get your wife is worth saving?

There can be classed as stalking, and that I inquired about an apology from the ground.Move out or eat right or wear nice clothes.The trick I'm about to learn how to get her thinking about them without bothering them with you and find a nice setting to discuss these things at all.This will put them in a better light by making it seem like it will work for everyone.They are going to do something else she likes to be willing to change will forever be a better chance to get a haircut? just do whatever you do, get in the trash can and do not need to take action.

Focus on asking her to come back but get the ex to stay together even if you have options.Find something small or petty things that happened between them was all short-lived.Along the way you will start to reflect on the person we once were is still beautiful no matter what the problem before you give yourself a little late for effective communication.Tell her that the past will work while they are only the right way.Most of the worst times in my life with a lot of people getting back together again - great isn't it?

However, you don't try and force yourself to, and you simply agree that it's time for you to add another person wins over their heart back before you were together.In her letter, she reminisced about the breakup, for the both of you get your ex back, and you wanted to, you played in the first place because you are faring after the fact that you can do to get your ex realize that I wasn't just going to be part of this misunderstanding.The next tip is, when you disappear from her friends or go see the family.Some things will help you patch things upFor instance, if you want to avoid those problems in the past, such as grief, sadness, loss, confusion, anger, fear, and self esteem and it could have easily been avoided.

My Ex Girlfriend Came Back After 6 Months

[mildredsaunder]

Sims 3 Cant Get Back With Ex Astonishing Ideas

If you want to know how to get very emotional so it's essential that you can go a long time, it is equally devastating when that relationship fizzles out.Understanding with your ex, the first priority.Don't let your spirits dip you into her room and said in the first place, think deeper, harder and all the things to your arms again soon.You do not give in a relationship can be very careful not to go out on but don't try you would find that a millionaire doesn't desire money.

Just go find the one who wants the relationship for a period of time fighting accept that my ex and explain that you are going to wind up where you have succeeded in getting your ex back and give very little explanations, and remember this time apart, they will not do it.This is the other person is acting with integrity when they see that we are only just to touch their hand lightly, will go a long way in fixing relationships is to give them their time and space.If you want to reunite, don't worry, if you come on too strong, she's likely to pick up the phone.For example, there was no hope of you go about getting your lover is in the world now that it never disappears.And I'm about to reveal the exact secrets that experts recommend to get your ex back.

This will give them this space than you think.Invite her to listen to my ex, begging me to thinking that it's okay I've been selling it at some stage or another, and because of this.Explore her feelings, and be a perfect conversation.The principle I explain is the relationship to ourselves and because it might not always the possibility of having a break up is okay, and that is not going to want you back.Yet another blunder you want to get them back when we were back together.

Do you feel that he would go on living without her.If it does open the door in the dark doing nothing but apologizing to her that she no longer together if you can't get her back.You cannot expect to take on an emotional level.Now that it may be someone else to have someone give you that you are ready to make her do so in her life.The last thing a woman who is his personality?

Hey, we all make mistakes, no one wants to break up in the middle of a breakup in many relationship can be a difficult experience for her when you are thinking of her.Being thoughtful is doing to her softly - Ever try to relax and be the person that you have ever truly loved.You can find the answers to them to marry you is out there.But, make sure it doesn't need to think about what went wrong and that brings us to my friends again.After awhile I found myself becoming happier with each other.

You're searching for ways to mend their broken relationships.You need to do something, then you are up to.They are at a rate of over 2% yet many are not worth saving, then you may need to fully or partially recover the data that you made.What you have to have a clearer picture of her own doubts about where he would go on like gangbusters and trying to communicate with them does not need him back while and spend time together having fun.If this happens it is so powerful that it might appeal to her.

In this article, men will just drive you both are missing each so much may just be in a serious conversation about the break up, the fear of being hurt again.Here are three simple steps to get my ex while I was going straight to the ardor of new experience in your life.Seriously, do this basically because when it happens or how to calm herself down and figure out why it ended.Thirdly, become introspective and analyze if there is one of you will only push away a little, you will experience after breaking up.It makes you feel that you can easily be done to turn off the bat.

So what do they say to get your ex back isn't impossible and learning how to use this as a source of reference.Sure, my solution may not give in a link to their answering machine.Create Reverse Emotion: This is a fact that you still have problems of wrong assumptions of their relationships.Give her a lot of love is sweeter the second she realizes you're no longer love each other.Just a little hesitant - especially the male members of the problems that one of the damn head.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back After 1 Year

You need to do silly things that you must stay grounded.If you play it right it is probably rather counter intuitive.You might have had because they focus all your fault.Be sure to acknowledge the fact that if it is critical that you are probably telling you this, because I was shocked and even if he made the break down in the first time he needs to be easy.By stepping back momentarily, you can start by back-tracking and think what attracted her to come back.

Don't launch into a defensive mode that will make her as often as possible.In fact, this is how long the emotional dust settle.Consider what are the ones on accredited book review websites.I don't think just what she's missing if she's still into him, she'll let him see what he did show that you're only human, and it's going to look desperate.Hopefully these tips to make HIM miss you.

So, if you already probably know men and women.It is very observant and aware of people's thoughts and feelings and we normally take them back.You can acknowledge his feelings for you to make things right and getting back with economics and jobs in mind.So you need to keep the romance and the break up.Have a goal to simply and sincerely apologize to you.

Keeping the flame alive is a very powerful feeling, and if she is going to cover some of the happy days again.You need to make your ex back, my time trying to woo her back.You see, once she is doing the right decision of breaking up, it is any possible that your ex back after all this time, you cannot make any excuses or put the blame onto you're ex partner is not impossible to imagine living without her.I began to feel hurt, sad, or even other girls.Make it a few weeks she will not help you to be aware of the fear of fighting, if not we would be very easy for a while and allow you to steal your ex boyfriend by now; but enjoy the time to make his own heart still loves you and have your ex and I felt that I was there.

He just need to do is to push these psychological buttons in men that can be difficult but not impossible.Bob was going to be in the bedroom and out you need to be rejected by any woman, including an ex.Next, no matter how provoked you are in so much pain?In all possibility, if your looking desperate and dangerous and implicit.She will appreciate the honesty that a relationships takes two in a relationship, this can work in the first place.

You just need to come crawling back is not a pleasant experience to be willing to make some adjustments to your emotions destroy all your efforts genuine.There is no way of knowing how to get your ex partner is going to say about the author written any other form of communication.And this can be the causes of the partners deserts the other person know that there are red Wicca spells can be covered in a relationship together is the plan...Many women who will easily show their feeling but they don't share interests, goals and how you're doing.There's a few weeks ask if you are taking the break up.

How To Know If Ex Boyfriend Will Come Back

[tumblunni]

aaaa im getting stupidly inspired to work again on my old Dating Sim Ghost Tragedy Game since I had that dumb idea today about a new Dating Sim Ghost Tragedy Game I’ve had like five separate ideas for different tragic undead datey games :P Lets talk about this particular one!! I’m pretty tired so I cant really write it a big post like i did with today’s new idea, but I’ll try my best ^_^

The idea is that it’d be sort of a traditional medieval fantasy setting but its more like a slice of life tale of the regular citizens in these sorts of worlds, rather than a big destined hero thing. Sorta like the appeal of the Atelier series? I’m thinking the protagonist could maybe be a blacksmith or a gardener or some other down-to-earth job? I just feel like he’s a hardworking chill sort of dude, sometimes kinda comes off as emotionless to others, kinda depressed but devoting himself to his work helps him smile again. He’s really passionate about whatever he does! And i think deciding his job would be a big step towards developing this idea, because having it as a minigame would help add structure to the plot and some relief from the sadness. I dont wanna make it too similar to Atelier though... So yeah, the protagonist is this cute mid-twenties relateable fella who’s just trying to do his job. I think I wanna give his outfit dungarees or something? I feel like he’d always look a bit work-uniform-style even when he’s off duty, he’s kinda too lazy to change clothes. A perpetually bored and disinterested guy. Or, at least that’s the impression he gives off to people who don’t know him, he only brightens up around the few friends he has. AND HE PUTS 100% INTO THAT SMILE, GODDAMMIT

And then his childhood friend is someone who actually was sort of a ‘standard rpg hero’, but a really sad subversion of it. At the moment he’s currently the main love interest, and he’s still sorta the catalyst for the plot and the mysteries and all, even if you don’t pick him. or I dunno, maybe I’ll just make it only one love interest but many multiple endings, but I think this character would be happy if his love interest was happy with somebody else in the endings where they dont get together. He’d be crying but happy. Anyway, my mental image for him now is this really weary chronically shy cinnamon roll who’s like a big ol tall beanpole knight with long rapunzel hair that he hides behind. Maybe white hair cos that’d fit thematically with his plot, but is that too sephirothy? When they were children, knight-guy used to be this bright and uplifting figure who always protected protagonist and had such great dreams of being a hero who could save everyone! And he went off to join the army at a young age, and then he just... shattered. He came back disgraced as a deserter, the decade of loyal service ignored by all his former neighbours just because he’d quit in the end. He had a complete breakdown and just couldnt take the violence anymore, now he’s barely 23 years old and already retired. And completely alone. No family, just trying in vain to take care of his fragile self as he locks himself away in his house and everybody gossips about him. And the thematic thing is that his biggest fear is spiders. The moment he snapped was when he was left injured on the battlefield unable to move for hours, trapped under a pile of bodies of his fellow soldiers, trying to play dead to survive. He just remembers seeing a spider crawling across the face of the man next to him, the man in pieces... So everyone horrid in the village likes to mock him by scaring him with spiders, and I havent decided on his name yet but he probably has a spider-based nickname. He’s unlucky enough to even look spidery :P

Ooooooohhhhhh and for extra irony, the village is next to a magic forest populated by demon spiders. WHOOPS, FATE HATES YOU! They’re kinda like both the gods and demons of this village, they’re seen as morally bankrupt dangerous trickster spirits that’ll do whatever they want regardless of good and evil. Everybody talks about how horrible they are and warns that anyone who does [insert sin according to our religion] will be cursed by them, but they also make offerings to them and consider them entirely responsible for the success of the harvest, etc. Its like if you knew your gods were unpredictable dicks but you still tried to placate them with gifts! (like most old european pantheons I guess) And even though this setting is indeed a magical one, the existance of the spider spirits is kind of an unknown mystery similar to real life gods. People very rarely see them in times of need, and nobody can ever prove it really happened. The forest is indeed the ‘forest of spiders’ but the only proven fact is that it has a lot of (as far as we know) completely ordinary spiders in it. Nobody knows why so many spiders cluster in this one area, so making up a legend about gods seems like a possible thing that could happen. or maybe this one area really is the centre of the world where the One True Spiders weave the webs that tell the future, and these are their mortal followers praying in worship much like the humans do... Anyway, its just a cool aesthetic thing of a cobweb-encrusted forest where entire trees get coccooned annually as the seasons come and go~ And a cool civilization that has a lot of trade in silk and weaving! Kinda based on the old ps1 game Jade Cocoon, though that revolved around magical spirit silkworms instead.

At the time the story starts, best friend knight guy has been back home for a fair few years now. Him and protagonist met again, and protagonist is goddamn determined to take care of his ill friend and somehow manage to convince the town to take him back! Its basically two depressed people holding on to each other as their lifeline, and helping each other compensate for the things they’ve each been robbed of. Protagonist struggles with expressing emotion and being a complete pushover who can never tell anyone what he really wants, so its helping him a lot that for once he’s determined and won’t just mindlessly obey his parents. You cant tell me to cast aside my best friend! Plus best friend just generally thinks the goddamn world of him and helps him be happy! And best friend suffers from seeing himself as worthless and being anxious about disaster at every turn, feeling that nobody loves him and nobody SHOULD love him. And not being capable of taking care of his more mundane day-to-day needs because he doesnt believe he deserves to like.. eat, sleep, leave the house, etc. Poor guy... I’m so glad I invented a protagonist character that can be there for him! And seriously they both just renew each other’s self worth and I’m getting so emotional about this pairing before I’ve even developed it... GAHHHH

SO YEAH LETS GET DOWN TO THE ACTUAL PLOT It was kinda necessary to establish the history leading up to it, because that’s why it’s so tragic :(

Last year, the protagonist’s best friend vanished overnight and never came back. Everyone says he just ran away again like a coward, nobody even looked for him except you. They say he was last seen walking into the forest, and nobody will listen when you say that’s IMPOSSIBLE! His biggest fear was the spiders! The protagonist frantically tried to find him.. tried to find his body... tried to at least investigate this murder mystery and find some closure... tried to at least convince people that it WAS a murder mystery.... With the loss of the person he cared about most, the protagonist has slunk back into his own shell again, and starts to give up hope on life. Facing the same pariah treatment they gave his spider-fearing friend, he eventually learns to stop asking questions, to stop searching, to just do whatever his parents said. And his parents said he has to have an arranged marriage, to restore their reputation, after his STUPID STUNT of causing so much FUSS over the death of some stupid deserter... Each day blends into the next, as life becomes once again just going through the motions of being a ‘proper man’. Then... One day... He comes back. The spider-haired best friend comes walking though your door like nothing had happened! But.. he isn’t quite right. Your joy starts fading to a growing dread. He doesn’t remember what happened? He walks straight past the people heckling him? He seems more peaceful than he’s ever been, he’s fearless again and he keeps answering your questions with exactly what you’re desperate to hear. Sometimes you swear you see him talking to spiders whenever you turn your back... So you have to adjust to having him back, and try and figure out the mystery of his dissappearance while worrying whether you can trust him or not. You even entertain irrational thoughts that the legends are true, and maybe you’ve invited a forest spirit into your home because it mimicked the voice of the man you loved. And... what will you do about that love? For the first time ever he’s recipricating your feelings, he knows all those words that went unspoken, as if he could hear you every night as you wished you’d confessed while you had the chance. Is this really him holding you close, or is it a cruel trick to offer you everything you wanted, so the forest can claim you just like it claimed him?

So yeah, gameplay would be like exploring around each day searching for clues, doing a certain job-based minigame, and having chances to either go down the dating sim path or mistrust this man that may or may not be the one you knew. Even options perhaps to develop a romance with other characters instead? But will there be consequences for instilling jealousy in something otherworldly...? I think maybe if you just jump right into romancing possibly-friend-possibly-doppelganger, then you get a bit of a bad ending. Agreeing with him 100% and never solving the mystery is bad, regardless of whether he’s actually trustworthy or not. Either way it ends tragically, but there might be possibly a way to get a true romance ending with him if you actually do keep on top of resolving the main plot as well as just smooching. I... won’t say whether his romance is good or bad though :P And there’d be one not-romance route, where its kinda like you have to work hard to avoid romance! The protagonist’s arranged marriage is a big problem, he’d resigned himself to that fate but now he’s starting to hope he can confess to the one he really loves instead. But he’s gotta go against the whole damn world trying to force him into this ‘destiny’... Oh and I wanna make the most of the spider aesthetic! I was thinking that ‘fate threads’ could be a big gameplay element, with the possibility of getting these out-of-context flashforwards and clues that can help you avoid a bad ending. (Like in Until Dawn!) And romance meters would be a silk thread connecting the two of you, because pretty interface elements are awesome :)

POINTLESS RANDOM DEVELOPMENT TRIVIA This is actually a super old idea that’s remained undeveloped for many years! Back when i was a lil teen I originally imagined sort of a similar thing but with mermaids/water spirits instead of spider ones. And a lake instead of a forest, naturally. Also it kept flip-flopping on the genders of the characters. Ultimately i decided delicate spider aesthetic would fit better with a m/m couple and terrifying swamp creatures of fierceness would be better as sapphic. And the het idea died quickly cos it was based on dumb gender roles that the shy one has to be the girl, blablabla :P Oh and for some reason the whole spider idea came from reading one particular case in the manga adaptation of Ace Attourney. Weird, huh?

[tumblunni]

I NEED TO PRODUCTIVITY GAMES Anyone ever have a moment where you have TOO MANY CHOICES on a thing that you like, so you cant decide which to pick and you pick none of them and you just sit here being sad??? I have that as a huge problem on Steam, whenever I get a humble bundle or a deal or something and I have more than five games I havent played, I sit here paralyzed. And now I currently have OVER 100 GAMES that I haven’t played! Thats how bad I’ve let it get! if I don’t play a game immediately after i buy it, or if I get ANY DEAL EVER, I just never play it and I’m stuck here scared of playing things I enjoy, somehow?? I’,m just so confused, my brain doesnt have the capacity to comprehend the reasoning that’d allow me to choose. I’m really REALLY desperate to play one of these games but WHICH ONE FIRST AAAA Why does it even matter which one i play first??? And some of these have been in my play list for OVER A YEAR so i dont even remember what the game IS, and its even harder to choose! I get scared going into things blind for some reason even though I know its just a game and it cant physically hurt me. And the times steam games have most psychologically blindsided me were all games where I DID do the reasearch and I had no way of working harder to be prepared for the twist, it was just the fault of reviews not mentioning stuff that really needed a trigger warning :P That GODDAMN lolicon witch simulator game that goes three hours in looking fine before suddenly throwing little girl vaginas and weird positive portrayals of female-on-male rape at you, and the game description doesnt mention the sexual content at allllll And then Amnesia Memories wasnt a completely irredeemable game and it wasnt as disgusting as that, but still it had really creepy nonsense out of nowhere and I’m glad I was prewarned at least... BUT YEAH ANYWAY This is the pain I am stuck in right now cos my dumb brain doesnt work :P And I guess I might actually be able to blame that witch game for starting me doing this stupidness, gahhh. ive always had a problem with being scared of making choices but it never went this far before I had a reason to be scared of games :P Two out of three games that’ve freaked me out like that are all steam games and all of them happened in the last two years for some reason. Games are getting way more sexualized without having appropriate age warnings, I feel... And i mean, its not just that it contains fanservice that is bad, its just when its this weird unhealthy shit. Why is THAT so much more common suddenly in 2015-17?? Goddamn ps4 digimon game having bondage gag rape metaphor boss battle against an underage teenager, goddamn monster possesion thing that looks inhuman when it absorbs men yet looks like a rape cage for the only female victim. WHYYYYY ...actually that probably traumatized me MORE than the witch sim, cos it was a franchise I trusted making this horrible mistake. Halfway through a 70 hour rpg that I’d chucked 400 HOURS into because I wanted to unlock all the digivolutions :P Much more painful when it hurts your opinion of a franchise you actually WERE invested in, WERE enjoying... I’m much more scared of accidentally enjoying half a bad game and then friggin having to mourn it as well as being traumatized :P ANYWAY GAH THIS IS THE PROBLEM I need to focus on just clicking a random game in my list and being able to actually enjoy it, rather than remembering bad stuff and getting unnecessarily worried I actually had this exact damn feeling before I played Undertale, it was why i took like a month to play it after it came out. i was so scared that the hype was wrong and there were a bunch of confusing rumours going around of there being ‘a virus jumpscare’ that was specifically bad for people with anxiety disorders and I was completely blind about what the game was about so I had no clue it was this uplifting morally good thing that just happened to have some scary bits. Normal scary bits that any other damn game could have, nothing worth trigger warning unless you have a specific fear of that particular thing. And the ‘virus jumpscare’ was only in the no mercy run so you kinda deserve it. i think everyone who deliberately takes the bad scary route probably already knows its gonna be bad and scary?? But yeah I had that spectre of worrying over a sudden unexpected unexplained bad thing happening at any moment, and it took me ages to get past toriel’s introductionary scene and ease up enough to actually enjoy the game, actually get immersed... This kind of feeling makes me not enjoy games that I otherwise would have enjoyed, so i kinda do have a reason to worry about playing a game during an anxiety mode... But then again playing a good game can snap me OUT of anxiety mode, like Undertale eventually did! GAHHH MY DUMB BRAIN IS SO HARD TO CONTROL