#desperately need me a pink girly feminine thing to fuck

[bunnywanted]

yesterday my dad asked me ‘why can’t you like pink, girly, feminine things like most women?’ (lol) what i didn’t tell him is that i do like pink, girly, feminine things………. i like to fuck them 💖

[katierosedreams2]

Im not a sissy…5

The school year has just flown by! It felt like just yesterday when I was dressed in my latex maid outfit, covered in cum, getting locked into my new ultra-micro chastity cage. I can hardly remember the crazy year we have had. So many parties! So many cocks! I can’t even clearly remember them all. And I’ve almost completely forgotten what it was like to not be a sissy slut. It feels more like it was a movie I had watched once rather than my own previous life.

If I really think back to when I was a child, I feel more like I was a girl dressed like a boy, rather than an actual boy. It’s weird how that works. Today I woke up excited, It was the end of the school year and Kailey and we had both finished our finals! Even though we partied and snuck into so many bars, we also studied a lot. That was one of the conditions of her parents for us to live in their apartment. We must get good grades. I always felt busy. Between getting ready for each day, studying, partying and cleaning the house, I had almost no free time anymore. 

Today I got up and walked to the bathroom to pee. I slept naked last night. The weather had been perfect to keep the windows open, but not too hot to need to run the AC. I saw my reflection in the mirror as I entered and saw my thin girly body with this small metal thing. Looking down, it was perfectly flat from my view. I looked so feminine. I also looked so skinny! Kailey has had me on a very very strict diet recently. I swear it’s been mostly water, booze, and cum! What has my life become? 

I started the shower and got in to shave and wash my long blond hair. It takes so long to shower, so so many products to make me pretty. But I guess it’s worth it. I do feel pretty! I got out and dyed off with our big, soft, fluffy towels. I then spent a long time drying my hair and then doing my makeup.  I knew I was going to put my hair up in a pony tail and I wanted a more natural look for my makeup. Lots of mascara and natural colored eye shadow, and not too dramatic either. I put my hair in a high ponytail and went to pick out my outfit. It’s going to be an exciting day, a nice day for a party to kick off summer. 

I picked out this super cute black vinyl bikini set and a matching skirt as a cover up and paired it with a pair of Pleaser 6 inch strap heels, also black in color, of course. I laid them out carefully on my perfectly made bed. I then put on one of my maid's uniforms. A short sleeveless dress maid of satin. I slipped into some black pumps and left my room to go start Kaileys coffee as I do every morning. 

She was already up and sitting on the couch watching tv and shopping on her phone. Her make-up and hair were already done to perfection but she was still in her pjs. Pink satin short shorts and a small white tank top. “Good morning girl! How are you doing today!” I called to her from the kitchen as I made us both a cup of coffee. “Hey sissy girl! Wow, you look so cute! Are you excited for today?” She replied as she turned to see me. 

“I’m very excited! Although I have no idea who you have invited!” I spoke as I worked, knowing my time to finish my chores and get ready was very short. “Oh don’t worry, I think you’ll really enjoy our guest!” As Kailey spoke I could hear her smile in her voice. 

I’ve come to learn exactly what she meant. This was going to be a sex party. And with all of this studying we have been doing the last few weeks, I haven’t even had time to even think about sucking a real cock, let alone have one actually rammed down my throat. I could feel the thought making my little clitty leak in its cage. I can’t believe I’m actually excited about this. Excited to suck and gage on a superior dick! To get fucked by men with big thick massive cocks! And get filled and covered in cum! I can’t believe I’ve just become so incredibly horny and desperate that being used to please a real man gives me enough pleasure alone to make me cum!

I’ve only came twice since Kailey locked me in my new chastity. Although the last time nothing really came out at all. I just leaked some clear fluid. I think between the tightness of my chastity cutting off almost all cerculation to my tiny testicals and the hormones I’ve been taking have ruined me for good. I truly just get wet now, and I cum just like the sissy girl I have been forced to become. 

I swayed my hips seductively as my heels clicked against the floor to hand Kailey her coffee. I don't really walk any other way these days. The thought of sucking cock still on my mind. “Thanks Rose! You’re a wonderful sissy girl! Oh and when you make my bed, can you please change the sheets first. I finally had time to use my favorite dildo last night and I can’t believe it but I ended up squirting all over my bed! I pasted out shortly afterward from the incredible orgasm, so I wasn’t able to do it myself!” 

“Lucky you! I still haven’t cum since that club we went to downtown and those four guys took us into that back room.” I said without thinking much about it as I walked away. We both know she’s cum almost every single day I’ve been in chastity. “Oh well I’m sorry to hear that sweetie. You just need more dick I guess!” I could tell she wasn’t actually sorry for me. I know she loves my horny misery. It really seems to turn her on when I’m desperate and denied. 

I’ve gotten so used to this, and have found myself truly giving in, all of my will power crushed, excepting my life as it is. I couldn’t help but agree with her. “I know right!” I spoke almost absent-minded as I walked off to her room to change her sheets. I stripped the dirty sheets off of her bed and I thought back as to how I got here. With Trent forcing me to become a sissy and now Kailey keeping me this way. I can’t even remember what it was like to wear boy's clothes or even leave the house without makeup. The thought frightened me. Leave the house without makeup! Oh god, I don’t think I could ever do that! 

These girly thoughts didn’t scare me. I actually felt comforted by them. As I worked, my mind wondered, and by the time I finished changing the sheets and had the old ones in the wash, my mind was on boys. How many guys were coming over today? How big would their cocks be? How much would they cum? My mind was fixated on them. I’ve come to learn that pleasing a real man's dick is the only way I can get any pleaser myself. 

“You’re thinking about sucking cock aren’t you?!” Kailey shouted from behind. I didn’t know she was there and I literally jumped from surprise! Also, how did she know?? “What?! No.” I hardly got out, not even convincing myself. 

“Ha! You are! I knew it!” Kailey was overjoyed with this fact. “How did you know?” I didn’t even try to fight it. It didn’t even seem worth it. “You start moving extra seductively and you have this cute little smile and this sparkle in your eyes.” She said with this big pretty smile on her face. “It’s super cute! I love seeing just how much you have grown!” 

I could only blush. I felt complimented and proud by what she was saying. I knew I should fight this, but too much of me wanted this. And my wet panties were just another sign of this fact. 

I worked quickly on my chores with the time the party was to start rapidly approaching. We were going to have the party on our very large patio. I worked my butt off making sure everything was perfect, clean, and that there were plenty of snacks and drinks. I was changing out of my maid uniform and into my outfit for the party as I heard a knock at the door, shortly followed by the clicking of Kailys heels to answer it. I could hear her greet the guests and welcome them in. The deep voices of a large group of men filled the halls and I couldn’t help but feel aroused. I have been so horny and I truly have been opening up to accept myself as the slut I have become.

I checked my outfit and hair in the mirror, quickly applied more lipgloss and then rushed out of my room to see our guests! As I turned the corner, I saw 5 guys all standing around Kailey. The shortest of them probably being 6 feet, but most well above that. Even in her heels Kailey was dwarfed by the strong, tall, masculine men. 

There was just enough time for the men to notice me when another knock on the door came. Since I was closest, I’d answer the door. “Hey guys! Thanks for coming! I’ll be right back, I’ll just go get the door!” I said, not even trying to hide my excitement and arousal. I walked as seductively as I could, hoping I was sexy enough to keep all of them staring at my very perky ass. 

I opened the door to a very large group of very tall strong men mixed in with them were some of our girl friends dressed just as sexy and slutty as Kailey and I. “Hey every one! Come in, let’s party!” A wave of cheers was yelled back as a response from the group. The mixture of the men's deep voices talking and the clicking of the girls high heels filled our house instantly. Most men weren’t wearing much, short board shorts an a tank top at most. I could tell none of them were wearing underwear and I couldn’t help but stare at every guy and just be amazed and aroused by how big each one’s dick was! They were completely massive! 

Kailey and I somehow got the large group of people to head outside on to our patio. The weather was warm, but not hot. Our very large hot tube was on a cool setting, so it would be refreshing. The music was good, and the booze was flowing. Before long, all of us girls were grinding and dancing with several guys each. 

I was grinding my ass against a guy's huge cock. He grabbed my hips, forcing me against him, guiding my movements as my vinyl skirt slipped smoothly over his shorts, making his dick throb with every movement. The guy in front of me held my head as he stuck his tongue down my throat, keeping me from escaping his kisses. My hands couldn’t push them away either, as they were both busy rubbing the cocks over top the shorts of the men on either sides of me. I was trapped by these real men, already being used as their plaything, and my little clitty trapped in its cage leaked more than it had in some time. If erections were even possible for me, which they aren’t, I’d be as hard as a rock. 

I was in heaven. I lost track of everything else going on around me other than these four horny men making me feel so small and girly. I haven’t done a single thing to a girl that anyone of these real men are doing to me. I never will. I am a failure as a man. I am a weak sissy girl. A slutty sissy faggot, and the thought couldn’t have turned me on more. I let out a loud moan as I made out with the giant of a man. And as my ass rubbed against the cock desperately trying to turn it on so much that he finally disregards my consent and fuck me so hard. I can’t stand it, my hands frantically finding the waistbands of the shorts of both the guys on my sides. My pretty manicured finger tips gently and seductively pulling down their shorts and wrapping around their huge dicks. They gently rubbed up and down the large hard shafts. The guy behind me saw this and finally got the message. 

“Get this horny little slut over there!” I heard him yell out to the other men. He then grabbed me by my hips and picked me up. The two on my side both grabbed my hands and the guy I was kissing grabbed the hair on the back of my head. They carried me like a little sex doll over to one of the small tables we had. They pinned me down on my stomach. My high heels hardly on the ground, leaving my ass sticking out in the air. As they pinned me down, the guy in front of me threw his shorts down and just as my head hung off the other side of the small table, his massive cock approached my mouth. I eagerly opened my mouth to accept one of the most perfect dicks I'd ever seen. Excited I was going to be used for his pleaser and the pleaser of all the other men. I immediately gagged by it’s huge size as he wasted no time shoving it all the way down my whole throat in one forceful motion. He wasn’t going to wait for me to warm up and I felt his balls slap against my chin from the force and depth of his first thrust. Setting the tone as to how this was going to go.

The two men on my side also wasted no time in redirecting my hands to both of their cocks, forcing me to jerk both of them off. The man behind me also didn’t wait for any consent and pulled up my skirt, pulling my biking bottoms to the side and stuck his raw cock in my tight little asshole as he pinned me down by the small of my back. I had snuck some lube up there right before the party. I had learned from way too many past experiences to come prepared to make men cum. He was so thick though, it felt like I might split in half. And I did my best to try and relax and ignore the pain, but that happening at the same time as the guy shoving his cock down my throat, it was hard to do. He didn’t care though and followed the exact same aggressive approach as the guy in front of me. Forcing it deep inside of me.

All I could do was moan and gag from the pain. I could hardly stand it! I was totally helpless, I was too weak, girly, and pathetic to stop these real men from using me like a slutty sex doll. As much as it hurt, the reality of the gang rape I was being forced to be subjected to was such a turn on. I was leaking so much in my tiny micro chastity, desperate to be used by these men and hoping I could cum as a result of being their cock slave. Maybe their cum can fill my tight little ass as it overfills my mouth and rains all over me. Maybe then I could finally cum.

I was struggling to breathe from the huge thick cock fucking my face, filling up half of my whole throat. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I desperately gasped for air when I could. He didn’t care, he wanted to skull fuck me and he was going to. It was hard to focus on the two huge cocks I was jerk off, but every time I slowed down they had no problem grabbing my small little wrist and forcing me to move at the pace they wanted. Struggling to breathe helped keep my mind off the pain from the intense ass fucking I was getting. They didn’t want to be gentle and were putting me through the roughest fucking I have ever had.

I still tried my hardest to please and worship their big strong long thick dicks. This is all about their pleaser and I wanted them to feel so good. I wanted to make these real superior men cum, cum all over me and fill me up. I’m there cum slut and I’m desperate for it! 

Eventually, I was able to relax enough to get into their rhythm. I felt the guy behind me pounding my g spot over and over again, working me closer to an orgasm. But the taste and feel of the big cock fucking my mouth was what was getting me closest. I don’t know why, but since I’ve been locked in chastity, most of the orgasms I’ve had are just from sucking dick. I’ve even had one just from practicing my blowjobs on my dildo. 

Then I felt it, the cock in my right hand twitch and throb, the man grunted “don’t you dare stop slut!” As I felt him cum, it squirting over my arm, and then on to my back. As he moaned a masculine moan, the man on my left also started to cum and moan. I focused all I could on keeping my rhythm the same for both of them as my small pretty feminine hands stroked the cum out of these cocks. Jerking them off, rubbing up and down, something my micro cock hasn’t experienced in years and never will again. 

The guy behind me then picked up his pace, his breathing got heavier and his massive penis thrusting as deep as it could go. His balls slapping me with such force it stung.  Then he throbbed so intensely and I felt his cum fill my ass. He kept thrusting over and over and I felt his cum starting to run down my legs. 

As he continued to pound my ass, the perfect dick that had been distorting my throat finally started to throb. He finally pulled it all the way out of my throat but just enough to keep his head in my mouth and shot more cum into my mouth than I had ever experienced. I tried to swallow it but I couldn't swallow fast enough. It shot out of my nose and the sides of my mouth. Dribbling down my chin. He slowly pumped the head of his cock back and forth in my mouth, messaging his tip with my tongue.  

The guy behind me finally pulled out and shot more cum on my ass. The large flood of cum he pumped into me spilled down my legs from my gaping hole. I was so close to cumming, so desperate, but I wasn’t able to. In my hopeless desperation I wiggled my ass, begging to be fucked more. 

Finally, as the last cock left my body, freeing my mouth, I gasped for air. I have no idea how long that happened for, or what anyone else was doing during that whole time. I looked up at the tall sexy man whose incredible dick I was sucking. “Thank you so much daddy!” I said without even thinking. He looked down at my cum covered face and said “Thats right you little sissy slut, your lucky to worship my dick. Beg daddy to suck his cock more.” I blushed and smiled “May I please suck your cock more daddy?” Fluttering my long lashes.

“You have to earn it bitch. You have to go on a date with me.” His large authoritative voice 

so manly compared to mine. “What if I don’t want to?” I playfully flirted back, but secretly upset that he would immediately deny me. 

“That wasn’t a question, slut! It was a command sissy girl.” He said in his strong voice as he grabbed my cum coved hand and wrapped it around his still hard cock and forced me to gently stroke it. 

“What do you say faggot?” He’s demanding questioning tone frightened and aroused me. I jerked him off and said, “Please daddy, I want to worship your cock. May I please go out with you?!” I tried to sound as girly and sexy as I possibly could. 

“Tell me how desperate you are for it. Tell me what a slut you are and how desperate you are.” He looked so strong, tall, and sexy and his commands combined with rubbing his cock, the taste and smell of his cum still in my mouth turned me on more and more. I felt an orgasm building up.

"Please daddy! Please, I’m a pathetic little sissy slut. I’m desperate to worship your cock and get your cum! Please let me please your dick! I'll be your perfect little cock slave! I want your dick!..” I was so desperate I was almost crying now. As I rubbed his dick, and verbally degraded myself, it finally happened, I came. It was so obvious because I stopped mid sentence, all I could do was moan and buck my ass like I was getting fucked while it happened. Still jerking off his cock as though each strok was making me cum more. 

As soon as I finished, he grabbed me by my hair, forcing my face to look at him through my blurred vision. He said, “Now you may go on a date with me to worship my cock sissy. Now lick that cum off of you!” He then let go of my hair and walked away. I was left there all alone, covered in cum, and in a cloud of uforia. My heart and mind raced. I haven’t been on a date since I was with Trent! Oh my god, do I like this guy?! I didn’t want to think about that now.

Finally, after I regained my strength, I got up and started to do as I was told. I started licking my whole body clean of cum. This is when I noticed that everyone else also fucked each other and were all just about finished as well. Kailey snapped a photo of me as I licked my fingers clean. 

She then walked over to me, she too was covered in cum. “Hey slut! I heard you had fun, so much fun that you’re going on a date with Mason!” I just blushed “He told me you begged to worship his dick so badly it finally made you came just from that!! How pathetic! You really are a cock slave sissy girl!” She laughed in her cute little laugh. “Here post this super cute pic of you licking his cum! You look so sexy but there’s defiantly something missing, right about here.” She then grabbed my bikini top. “We need to get this little girl some boobs!”

-Katierosedreams Og Cap

[bongwooder]

idk I guess I could make an official post about it since I've been basically regressing to 12 year old me anyways and she LOVED to overshare on this godforsaken website

click more for ramblings if ur curious! definitely interested in hearing others perspectives since I am very socially isolated rn compared to most people I guess

ever since my ADHD diagnosis and possible autism diagnosis I've just been thinking a LOT about my life including my gender and sexuality. like, ever since my parent's divorce in 2022 I've been unravelling a lot of trauma I didn't even know I had, including how my roommate has helped me realize truly how emotionally neglected I was a child. it is NOT normal for a child to be online essentially 24/7 from ages 8-18. I think I really did some serious damage because my parents were too fucked to bother to check on me and make sure I like... went outside. had friends. showered. basic hygiene etc etc etc and of course I didn't know any better because uuuhhh children need to be TAUGHT things not just yelled at to do it or made fun of for their unknown disability. and I've been going through points of time where I'm MAD. like, PISSED. that my parents let me do that to myself. a little insecure neurodivergent girl searching, yearning, begging for ANYTHING to explain her inability to cope with reality and sensory overload, to socialize and make friends at school, to feel like her life had meaning and that what was not known at the time to be symptoms of her disability weren't just personal failures

so, of course, I feel like the moment I realized I may have a group that would actually accept me as I was, I latched onto it. and that was my beginning identifying as transgender. I've said this before to irl friends, but my thoughts at the time were "well I'm a completely well adjusted intelligent person [child], but I can't seem to get along with my female peers, so I must be a male actually!" but then like... idk why I always failed to realize the boys didn't like me either?? so it's not "girls don't like me because I'm too masculine and boys don't like me because I'm too feminine" it was actually just "no one likes me because I'm autistic"

and it's strange because I feel like the physical dysphoria felt VERY real, hating my chest and my genitals, but also like... I went through puberty kinda early and also bc I was fat I "had" to wear a bra VERY early. so I think I was resenting the sexualization of my body and coping with the fact that boys paid me 0 mind in any sort of dating context when that became relevant. So I think my dysphoria was actually more like dysmorphia?

and I think I only ever "hated pink and girly things" because I so desperately wanted attention from ANYONE, for SOMEONE to ask me what's wrong or why I thought that way, for someone to tell me it's okay to be a girl even though I'm fat and autistic. and it just never happened. and I grieve for that little girl who never felt like she could express herself in fear of what people would think bc she truly had no positive adult figures in her life. and I can't help but feel deep anger for the teachers around me who didn't realize just how deep the damage was, or if they did and told my parents and THEY chose to do nothing, I feel deep anger with them.

I thought maybe if I could just be a boy I didn't have to worry that much about being attractive to boys or being skinny or being pretty. then I could just be myself! and I think that did serve a purpose for its time.

I don't regret identifying as trans or any social transitioning I have already done. I love being Ollie, although I do wonder if another name may suit me better in these times. I know I'll always have an unconventional self expression but I just wonder what it would be like to be an independent adult woman because I've never been that, and I've never had adult women friends that have reached a level of platonic intimacy with me where I can discuss this and explore it with someone who has always lived as a woman! i yearn to decorate my body and dress myself in ways that reveal the the body I am proud to have carry me day by day no matter how large. I yearn to sink into softness and receive love, I don't want to fight for reciprocation. I don't want to be codependent but I just want to feel taken care of for once in my life instead of feeling like I'm crawling and clawing my way through life not knowing where the hell I'm going. I don't even know what womanhood/femininity MEANS but I want to try it! I think I'd enjoy it! do I have permission to try it? am I allowed to enjoy it? I hate that I need to be "brave" and "resilient" just to exist in my fucking body and brain. I resent the poisoned masses for resenting me but I know I know kindness and i know I am beautiful and I know I can provide happiness for others, I'm just also ready to be provided for too from a woman just as strong and beautiful and intelligent and kind and funny

I think I skated my point a little bit but even after saying all this, I don't know if I'll ever feel "cis." i think my life played out how it needed to for me to get here and now. my biggest fear is "coming out as cis" and having everyone who ever doubted my transness or invalidated me (including my own family) tell me "I told you it was a phase" because YEAH, MAYBE IT WAS. but at least I've been actively trying to listen to my body and brain to build the life I think will make me happiest in the context of my consciousness. and I just want to surround myself with people who trust me and know I'm smart and know this is something I think about deeply before projecting

all this to say I have a lot of work to do, and I'm excited to do it, cis or trans

[mourntheantagonist]

Billy Hargrove’s Exploration of Beauty

| part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 |

Part 5: (I’m Not) A Real Man

also on ao3

***

He doesn’t know why he says it. It wasn’t prompted in the slightest. But the thought had been rattling inside in his head for weeks and it just slipped out.

“It’s a good thing you like both, I guess.”

It’s been on his mind ever since the panties. Ever since the three pairs turned into ten. Ever since his once bare and unmanicured fingernails were gently held in Steve’s hands and coated in a clear polish. Ever since he upgraded from clear to nude, and from nude to a deep blue.

“It matches your eyes.” He’d said. Quietly under his breath with a smile pulling at the sides of his mouth. Both boy’s cheeks twinning with the same red tint. Sure he removed it before he left the safety of Steve’s house, but it was nice while it lasted.

Ever since Steve had made it a point to call Billy beautiful at least once a day. Peppered in with every greeting and every goodbye. “Hey, beautiful,” and “see you tomorrow, beautiful.” Occasionally interchanged with “gorgeous” and the rare and teasing “pretty boy.”

He could not wrap his head around it. How Steve was just okay with it. Understanding. Supportive, even. He figured it must have something to do with him liking women, too. He was attracted to femininity, so it must make it okay. Steve was getting the best of both worlds, right?

So he said it. The two of them sitting on his couch watching Saturday Night Live, slowly working their way through a large pepperoni pizza. Sitting at opposite ends of the couch with their feet propped up and their legs intertwining. As much as he loves to be all wrapped up in Steve, he loved that position. Getting the best seat in the house to watch as Steve’s nose scrunches and his eyes crinkle when he laughs.

Steve wasn’t laughing now.

“What are you talking about?” He’s understandably confused.

Billy shifts. Brushes his foot up against the hair of Steve’s calf. Picking at the purple nail polish on his fingers as he tries to come up with a way to phrase what he wants to say. He’d been getting better at talking about it, at least a little bit. Opening up to Steve how he sometimes feels trapped in his clothes. How he wishes he could do more. How he wishes the nail polish could stay on. But it got more difficult when he stopped talking about the physical. The clothing and the polish he can talk about, but getting specific about how it makes him feel inside? What it all means for him? He hardly even knows the answer himself.

“Just with you know, all the girly shit. It’s good you, y’know, like girls too.”

Steve is just staring at him. Eyebrows furrowed. He shakes his head.

“You’ve lost me.”

Billy’s biting the inside of his cheek, trying to come up with a better way to word it. A way Steve will understand.

“The nail polish, and the uh, the other stuff,” he waves his hand in the air, the word ‘panties’ always feeling like a slur on his tongue, “I wouldn’t exactly call that manly.”

Steve’s eyes narrow, squinting. Like he’s unsure of what he’s looking at.

“Are you saying you don’t feel like a man?” Steve is straight-faced. He’s asked one question, but suddenly Billy feels like he’s being interrogated. And he’s getting defensive. Even if he’s not being attacked. Even if he’s unsure of what he’s guarding.

“Well there’s certainly nothing manly about wearing pink lace panties Steve.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

And Billy is silent. They’re both silent. And it’s deafening. The words out of Steve’s mouth just hang there in the air, suspended and never to be caught.

“Forget the fucking macho masculine bullshit. Do you, Billy Hargrove, feel like a man?”

“Well I’m definitely not a woman, Steve.”

“Answer the question.”

He can’t answer. Stunned by Steve’s sudden change of tone. He sounds angry. Not angry at Billy, but angry about something else.

“Answer the question, Billy.” He’s determined.

“No! not a real one.”

And now it’s out there. It’s out there and he can see the cogs turning in Steve’s brain as he tries to decipher the meaning behind Billy’s words. His mood however, doesn’t change.

Steve is thinking. Thinking about all the things that had been ruled by society and surely had been ingrained into Billy. Real men don’t cry. Real men don’t back down from a fight. Real men don’t wear pink. Real men don’t sleep with other men. Steve is guilty of having fallen into this mindset before. But it’s plain as day that it’s all wrong. It’s all just a bunch of bullshit.

“Does using the Farrah Fawcett Hairspray make me less of a man?”

“No, but the fumes are definitely doing something.”

“Shut up, it’s quality shit Mr. Aqua Net.” Steve takes in a deep breath. “Does me liking men make me less of a man?”

Billy’s eyes quickly shoot down to his lap. Staring at his hands as he chips away at the last remaining marks of polish on his nails. Treating it like an hourglass. Treating it like his armor. Times up. It’s all gone. You’re exposed. It’s time to face the music.

“No.” It’s soft. He says it like a confession. A confession to himself. Like he’s not saying it to Steve, but fighting against the voice in his head that says the opposite.

But it’s Steve, so it doesn’t apply here. Just to himself.

“Then why is it different for you? Why should my bisexuality have anything to do with it?”

“You don’t understand, Steve. It’s different for me!”

Steve just shakes his head and laughs. Not a laugh of humor. He looks mad. Bewildered.

“I understand perfectly fine Billy! It’s you who’s not fucking getting it!” He stands up from where he was seated. Now pacing across the room, shutting off the television in the process so he has Billy’s undivided attention.

Steve’s head looks like it’s about to explode and it’s freaking Billy out.

“Nobody else gets to decide who you are Billy! You are whoever you say you are! There’s no such thing as a fake man. The things you like don’t change that. I need you to believe that Billy!” He’s almost screaming. His voice echoes through the empty halls of his house. Billy just lies there speechless.

Steve walks closer to Billy after letting out a heavy breath. A desperate release of anger because he doesn’t like yelling at Billy. He kneels in front of him on the couch. Taking a hand in his and looks Billy straight in the eyes. Deep into his soul.

“I understand needing to take things slow. That’s okay. But if you’re holding back because you think I won’t still see you as a man, then I’m sorry, I won’t be patient with you about that. I won’t tolerate that. Because it’s not fucking true.” It’s still aggressive, but his voice is more hushed and less biting.

Billy’s eyes stay focused on their clasped hands. Holding onto that feeling. The feeling as Steve’s words travel through his brain and connect. The feeling of validation as Steve continues to hold on. Refusing to let go. His warmth radiating off of him and into Billy as the force to make his words stick. To make them stay.

“Okay.”

It’s all he can think to say. But it’s not enough for Steve.

“I need to hear you say it Billy. I need to know that you believe it.” Steve pulls Billy into a hug, gently combing his fingers through the hair on the back of his head. “Tell me you’re still a man.” It’s just a whisper in his ear.

“I’m still a man.” It’s voiceless. Coming out with just his exhale. But it’s all that was needed.

“You’re still a man.” Steve copies. “And you’re fucking beautiful. And those things don’t contradict each other.”

Billy just squeezes him tighter. Clinging to the feeling that the word brings him. Clinging to Steve. Clinging to the feeling that Steve’s love gives him. Melting into him. Breathing him in like he’s the last remaining oxygen left on earth.

“I know it’s hard, baby. But you have got to start loving yourself. It hurts me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just let me in, okay. I’m here to stay.”

I’m here to stay.

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

I promise.

“No more holding back around me, okay?”

Steve’s pressing kisses to the space behind his ear with every sentence and Billy just sits there with eyes shut and his heart pounding out of his chest.

“No more holding back.”

[madamebaggio]

NOTES: FINALLY!

I was doubting it for a while there.

Man... This got nasty XD So... Really smuty smut. All the good smut I could produce was poured into this.

This is a modern AU, which is part of a bigger idea I have. I was lazy to write the story from the beginning, but maybe passing this part it’ll be easier. In this AU Lothíriel is the onwer of a brand of lingerie and as girly as girly gets.

Éomer meets her on a party (he’s friends with her father because he’s sold him horses before) and he’s charmed by her, but he’s been fighting it, because of a lot of silly reasons.

Previous to this they made out on her atelie, and she convinced Éomer to take her on a platonic date. This scene would be the end of their date, when he’s walking her home ;)

***

Éomer should be a gentleman, wish her a goodnight and go. She was younger and the daughter of a good friend; he shouldn’t even be there.

She stepped inside her apartment and gave him one of her beautiful -perfect- smiles. “I had fun.”

He smiled back at her. “So did I.”

She stood there, just past the threshold, her hand on the door, but she didn’t close it and he didn’t move to leave.

“Are you going to kiss me ‘goodnight’?” She asked cheekily.

He shouldn’t, because Éomer wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop kissing her once he started; he’d barely stopped the first time.

“Just one kiss.” She offered, that wicked grin on her lips, her freckles like gold dust.

“I know what you’re doing.” Éomer accused.

“What?”

“You’re tempting me.”

Lothíriel hummed. “Is it working though?”

“Better than you probably hoped for.” He snorted. Then he gave her a look. “One kiss.”

“One kiss.” She accepted.

Éomer kept his hands on the door frame, just to have something else to hold on to. He could keep it simple and easy, he wasn’t a teenager.

But then… He lowered his head and she tipped hers back. He pressed his lips to her soft ones and felt her fingertips on his chin. Lothíriel changed the angle of her head and pressed her lips more firmly against his, before licking very softly the rim of his lips.

Éomer pulled back. They stared at each other in silence for a minute.

“Fuck.” Éomer cursed, stepping into the apartment, closing the door behind himself. He didn’t even have to reach for her, because she was already there; throwing her arms around his neck, pressing her mouth back to his.

Éomer picked Lothíriel up, making her close her legs around his waist.

This was why he didn’t want to kiss her. Éomer was a gentleman -as hard to believe as it may be at the moment. He was the type of man that took women on dates, and didn’t expect anything; he was never in a hurry to get anyone in bed. His uncle had taught him to treat women with respect regardless of their relationship to him.

Kissing her ‘goodnight’ and leaving should’ve been ridiculously easy, and -normally- it was. But, goddamnit, Lothíriel had some strange power over him. He felt reckless when he was close to her, and he just wanted… Everything. More than he ever wanted in his whole life before.

And damn that minx for making him feel like it was perfectly fine to be this demanding.

He carried her to the kitchen counter and sat her on it. It was the perfect height for him to kiss her without getting a crink on his neck and to have access to all of her.

As soon as he lowered her on it, Lothíriel’s hand started pulling at his T-shirt, so Éomer helped her get it off. She held him a bit away, so she could admire his chest.

“Wow.” She sighed, biting her lower lip in open admiration, her hands mapping his muscles, until she found something. “I didn’t expect this.” She commented, her fingers tracing the horse tattoo he had on his left side, over his ribs.

Éomer covered her hand with his. “I’ve had a rebellious phase too.”

“I like it.”

He brought her hand to his mouth. “What else do you like?” He prompted, kissing her fingers.

“No, sir.” She shook her head. “I’m not about to inflate your ego. You’ll have to work harder for it.”

“Yeah?” He bit her mount of venus, making her breath stutter. “Remember you asked for it.”

“Oh, trust me… I will.”

He kissed her hard, his hands grabbing her thighs, pulling her against him, so his cock was rubbing against her covered cunt. He let her mouth go in favor of kissing her neck and Lothíriel giggled.

“What?” He asked, biting the point where her shoulder met her neck.

“Your beard.” She giggled again. “It tickles.”

Éomer brushed his chin on her neck and she giggled again. He was ridiculously charmed by her, and he didn’t think she actually knew that. It seriously annoyed him how many people dismissed Lothíriel for the things she liked, all the while ignoring how intelligent and talented she was.

He’d been dangerously close to making the same mistake.

Not anymore.

He opened the first buttons of her pretty white dress, revealing the white lace of her bra. “Is this one of yours?” He asked, running his thumb over the cup.

“Of course.”

His other hand dove under her skirt until he found lace there too. “Is it a set?”

“You’ll have to find out.”

“I will, don’t worry. I’m not in a hurry.” He popped open another button on her dress. “We have all night.” He pulled down the cup of her bra, just enough to expose her breast, then bit its curve.

Lothíriel shuddered under his hands, her thighs squeezing his waist. On his peripheral he saw Lothíriel moving her arms, only to realize she was opening the bra clasp behind her back, then pulling it off and flinging the strapless piece away.

Now with unlimited access, Éomer cupped her tits, his thumbs teasing her nipples. He brought one to his mouth and sucked it, letting her feel a hint of teeth. She moaned, her hand grabbing his hair, keeping him there.

He transferred his attention to her other nipple, and by then Lothíriel was already squirming, trying to rub herself harder against him, searching for more friction.

Éomer wasn’t the type to deny a lady.

His hands went back under her skirt and pulled her panties down. Lothíriel raised her hips to help him. “It was a set.” He commented, looking at the white lace on his hands.

“As if I would wear anything else.”

He threw the panties somewhere, then hooked her left leg on his elbow, leaving her completely exposed to him. Éomer ran the phalange of his middle finger up her slit, until it bumped her clit. He circled it, teasing touches, until Lothíriel whined a protest.

“There are many things I want to do to you.” He whispered near her ear, one finger sinking into her wet cunt. “Find out if you like my beard tickling your thighs…” He moved his finger slowly in and out of her, nothing but a tease. “I want to see you riding me…”

“Éomer.” She protested breathless. “Not fair.”

“How it’s not fair?” He asked calmly, pulling his finger out, then sliding two fingers back in. He kept his slow rhythm, with shallow thrusts.

“Please.” She begged, her breath short, her cheeks bright red. “It isn’t enough, I…”

He thrusted his fingers harder into her, his thumb finding her clit. “You need more, don’t you, Lothíriel?” He crooked his fingers inside her, feeling her spasm around them. “All this teasing isn’t good enough, is it?”

“No.” She let her forehead fall against his. “I like you because you don’t treat me like a porcelain doll.”

“Really?” He pumped his fingers into her, enjoying her moans. “Would you like me to fuck you?”

“God yes.” She grabbed him by the nape and kissed him desperately.

It figured she’d be all of his fantasies wrapped into one package. She was going to be the death of him.

Clearly out of patience, Lothíriel demanded more and more as Éomer fucked her with his fingers, until she was a sobbing mess coming around his fingers.

He pulled his fingers from her and rubbed her back, while she came down from her high.

“My bedroom…” She started saying, still trying to catch her breath. “Is that way.”

He chuckled, and picked her up again, carrying her down the hall to the bedroom.

Lothíriel’s room was exactly as Éomer had imagined it; white with soft pinks and feminine. There were pictures around it, a vanity covered with makeup products, and a huge bed full of pillows.

Éomer was really interested on that bed.

He lowered her on it and Lothíriel was quick to get rid of her dress. He took the chance to kick off his shoes and take off his pants, before climbing after her.

“There are a lot of pillows.” He commented, pushing a few out of the bed.

“Good to see you’re focusing on what’s really important now.” She threw at him, as she laid there on her back.

He laid his body over hers. “I’m focused, don’t worry.”

“Yeah?” She arched an eyebrow at him. “So where’s the condom?”

Éomer groaned, then got out of the bed to fish his wallet from his pants.

“So you came prepared.” She teased.

“That’s not…” He took a deep breath in. “You’re trouble.”

She giggled. “But that’s what you like about me.” She sassed, and she wasn’t wrong.

Éomer put the condom on and went back to the bed. He grabbed Lothíriel by the waist and flipped her around -making her let out a quite undignified squeal in the process.

She threw him a look over her shoulder. “Smooth.”

“You’ve seen nothing.” He promised as he pulled her to her hands and knees. He ran his hand over her waist and hips. “Is this fine?”

“Yup.”

Éomer snorted. He took his hand back to her cunt and pushed two fingers in. “I think you’re ready.”

“Yes, please.” She groaned, her hips pushing back against his fingers.

Éomer pulled his fingers away and guided his cock to her entrance. He pushed in slowly, enjoying the feeling of her around him. Lothíriel moaned something he didn’t quite get, her forehead falling to the bed.

She gripped at him like a vice and he took great pleasure in every second. When he was finally fully in, Éomer gave a shallow thrust and Lothíriel moaned again.

“Not a porcelain doll, right?” He asked, his voice ragged.

Lothíriel let out a strained laughter. “Exactly.”

“Fine by me.” He pulled out, until only the tip of his cock was still in her, then he pushed back in, hard.

He proceeded to fuck her hard. He was merciless in his movements, not giving her a minute of respite. Lothíriel was all encouragements, pleas for him to keep going as she took it all.

She brought her own hand to her clit and worked it furiously while Éomer still pounded on her from behind. When her orgasm hit, she screamed it into the mattress. Éomer’s thrusts became more urgent, harder, until he came with a harsh groan.

He pulled back more gently and sat down. Lothíriel turned on her side and gave him a toothy grin. “Solid work there.”

He couldn’t believe this woman. “Not that good if you can still sass me.”

“Bathroom is that way, I’ll get the whipped cream from the fridge while you sort yourself out and we can try that again.”

“Can you show me another one of your sets?”

“I have a garter belt in emerald green.”

Éomer sighed. “So we have work to do.”

[saviormjoon]

Hi! Can you do a writing where you kind of describe the perfect girl for BTS, like, the kind of girl they need? Thanks, take care uwu

How bts’s s/o would be Like ~

This is my first writing in about 2 or 3 years so please go easy on me

Namjoon 1/1/20

Personally I don’t believe namjoon necessarily needs a s/o that’s “SUPER SMART & HAS A HIGH ASS IQ” but I do believe he needs someone who’s wise and full of wisdom, someone he can talk to about life in general in which you don’t have to be a smarty pants to do that. But I’m not saying he wouldn’t date a super smart s/o I’m just saying that it’s not a deal breaker if you can’t cure a disease at the age 12, you need to be down to earth like deadass period no tampon!! namjoon is so down to earth (the Virgo in him is screaming) that if you can’t be the same that might be a problemo in the relationship

Seokjin

Jin is so soft and sweet I feel like he would need a s/o similar to that description, someone kind but with a dry sense of humor only the two of you would understand, I think he’d prefer you to be able to cook because no one wants to be fully relied on to do something especially with his busy schedule he’d probably hope you’d cook once in a while, I think someone selfless and just an all around kind person, NOO you don’t have to be petite to fit that description because for some reason I know a lot of people apply being petite as soft and pure which isn’t a bad thing but you can be all that and still be the body type you are luv, jin would love you no matter.

Yoongi

Everyone and I mean EVERYONE thinks yoongi needs a s/o who’s hard and doesn’t have a soul and that they were probably raised in hell but I don’t agree what so fucking ever, sure I don’t see yoongi dating some pretty pink princess/prince but I also don’t see him dating a devil w orshipper( if you worship the devil then Uh do u I guess I’m not judging bby) I think yoongi needs a s/o with a calm and collected personality that can also be giddy and all over the place sometimes, someone who can be sensitive but reasonable at the same time, like a cold & warm relationship, cause with cold & cold relationships your heads will be guaranteed to bump with one another once in a while

Hoseok

Ah yes our sunshine king, hoseok needs someone giddy like that’s it that’s the whole tweet but for real his s/o needs to be bright and smiley but also serious and easy to talk to, being happy all the time isn’t what I see hoseoks s/o being like, Ofc their not gonna be a Debby downer but their going to make sure they can be happy on a realistic note and he’ll understand that happiness isn’t 24/7, his s/o can honestly have any fashion type but I’m sure he’d prefer a street style or girl/boy/whatever u identity as crush style, dancing( AH HA HA) I’m sure he would be ECSTATIC if you can dance but I don’t think it would also be a problem if u can’t but you’d have to be open minded to the opportunity of him teaching u.

Jimin

The Squish, um aneways so I think jimins s/o would kinda be similar to jins S/o but not totally, jimins s/o gives me like Queen/king vibes¿ I don’t know what the fuck that means but like I feel they would have it all like the sass the kindness the classiness and even the seriousness, but overall I feel that they would be superrrr easy to talk to like a chill type beat, I think he would prefer a more feminine girly type s/o but by that I’m not talking about “ NO BURPING IN FRONT OF HIM, NO WEARING PANTS, NO CURSING” but more like a classy bitch like you know you’re that bitch and so does he ( he would also love a confident s/o but if you aren’t there yet he would understand and y’all could help each other grow mentally).

Taehyung

I think tae needs a s/o exactly like him, like I don’t see him not getting along with a another version of himself but ofc with a few modifications, taes smiley personality x2 would cure ANYTHING, whenever y’all walk by anything flowers will legit grow from the GROUND thats how perfect this relationship would be, I feel like your personality would have to be like “one of the boys” but more feminine, you get me? Like a laid back humble bitch, even though you’re dating the money spender of the group u wouldn’t want him to spend any on you. you’d be like a mom figure in his life that he desperately needs to keep him in check.

Jungkook

ok ok so I think jungkook needs a more assertive s/o but not in an aggressive way but like someone who can handle a challenge, someone competitive willing to show his ass up sometimes, but realistically that’s not good for a relationship 24/7 so they would need to be assertive/competitive with a good spirit someone willing to be supportive for him and always be there when he needs you even if his ego is in the way of his call for help you’d be there anyway. You’d be his “lifeline” , someone he can trust with his whole heart, I don’t think you’d need to be sporty necessarily but I think you’d need to be up for the challenge and “knowing” him it won’t be easy.

GIFS ARE NOT MINE CREDIT GOES TO THE CREATOR OF THE GIFS :)