#deserve! (and get all my shit back) I'm working on it)

[lovelytayforce]

I agree with this comment here so hard, I remember getting blasted for calling readers who don't comment "leeches" on R/Fanfiction and I'm glad people are seeing that for what it is even if it's four years late

So, I'm gonna share my own little story here because discord has actively ruined communities for fanfic (and art too I'm not gonna leave y'all out cause my bestie @zoetiger-1106 is an artist who deserves way more praise than she gets!!) The reason why authors and myself see the "I'm shy" shit as an excuse is because the same people will type long ass tirades on Discord without a single thought. YOU CAN EDIT AO3 COMMENTS PEOPLE! If you make a mistake, read it back over and edit it. I've watched it happen in real-time with one of my favorite commenters on my one-shot where they left a short gushing comment and then came back and wrote more, you have no excuse much less reason to go "Man fandom keeps telling me to not critique and I might make a mistake so I will say nothing and consume like the average TV and Streaming consumer who thinks there doing something!" YOU have a lot of power with comments and even those bookmark tags hell just copy-paste what you put into those bookmark tags as a comment I DON'T CARE AT THIS POINT USE THAT LIL BOX TO VOICE SOMETHING!!!! God this is all over the place idc but I read back at those bookmarks, and saw people call my works the best and super cool and I APPRECIATE THAT but tell me! Stop taking the easy route, I been blasted for misunderstandings over comments multiple times cause people take my "tone" terribly cause it sucks being black and emotive online yay and for some reason people think !!!! Is bad? yes, I've been hit with that but I keep on trucking cause fuck whatever some weirdo thinks about exclamation points! Anyways back to discord and why I hate it now, I was in a small fandom, KFP got invited to a discord cause ONE person commented on my works and saw they talked about my fic, and at first, I was happy and people TALKED about my chapters at length in the fanfic channel. I basically was the ONLY ONE posting consistently in that channel and it was great but also I wanted that on my fic to show I improved so guess what I did? I went all in trying to one-up myself to be noticed, to have the acclaim my peers did so it would evolve outside of discord channels but it never happened. And Imma tell y'all now; it never will. Readers prefer convenience over your hard work, they are not gonna take time for you no matter how much you improve. People told me over and over while I looked for solutions for this; "We can't make commenting look like an obligation." "Add more prose, space these paragraphs better" all this just for no one to take the initiative and say something SINCERE towards a work they love on it. I've had to tell my own ex-friends now to go leave comments on works they called Masterpieces while ignoring me. Despite the fact they wanted Gen content in which I WROTE. Or met people who have very weird "I don't review" rules for themselves despite getting motivated by reviews themselves!! We're in a shitty time for creatives much less community cause we don't see each other as humans much less want to treat each others as we desire to be treated. Fanfic readers want to treat authors like showrunners and I hate it. But then your peers will tell you 'not to worry about engagement" and no I am because why is my hit count going up every day but ain't no one saying shit? Make it make sense!! I sat in that community commenting as much as I could, especially on long fics; it wasn't all perfect but I TRIED. I didn't expect shit back but hey it would have been nice but it never happened and again I learned; it never would. That's the real issue, no one wants to give no more; just take and take and take til you're sucked dry of passion worse than any corpo out right now. It's why I thankfully switched fandoms. I got ONE consistent commenter and they are better than that ENTIRE SMALL CLOSED COMMUNITY!! So, to any discord reactor for fanfic you better skip on to that message you made and copy and paste it in this box right here and never utter "I'm shy" ever again cause we see you, our friends tell us about you. You are not as anonymous as you think! 🫵🏽

A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.

My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.

My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.

This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.

Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.

I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.

So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.

[cr4zy-cycl0n3]

Yo! I'm doing a Heroes of Olympus rewrite!

I'm not a huge fan of how some scenes go in canon and how the characters esp the gods are handled in Hoo, and after reading one too many rewrite/AU fics, I've decided fuck it, imma make my own.

I'm changing quite a few things, like:

- making Piper's memories not be tampered with and as a result be way closer to Leo (credit to Heroes of Juno by @queenjunothegreat for this idea!)

- MOTHERLY HERA/JUNO WHO PSEUDO-ADOPTS JASON FTW also parental Lupa but that'll be more apparent in a Jason prequel/sequel(depends on how I wanna format it) I’ll write after TLH is done

- slowburn valgrace instead of comphet jiper

- Leo and Piper QPR(+Jason when Piper stops being his #1 opp). Jasipereo ftw babyyy

- the whole series is just gonna have a good deal of focus on the Lost Trio. I'm not gonna shaft anyone ofc but my favorite punching bags characters are just gonna get extra love :3

- Jason's gonna be considerably more feral cuz CMON MAN WAS RAISED BY WOLVES(this is more prominent in the later books cuz in TLH he was alr feral, going at 2 giants with his BARE ASS HANDS)

- Jason has more bite cuz DAMMIT HE DESERVES TO BE ANGRY/BITTER AND CLAP BACK. HIS LIFE IS SHIT, LET MY BRO BE MAD

- more exploration into Jason's character cuz man was shafted so hard :(

- exploration of characters' powers in general, def buffing the Big Three kids to be as strong as Percy cuz holy cow he's OP. I love Percy and his OP-ness, but the other Big Three kids should be just as OP

- Zeus is the God of Justice, which we don't see much of in PJO's characterization of him, but Jupiter is Roman and hence is much more strict in the RRverse, so consequently I think his domain of law and order is more central to Jupiter than his greek counterpart, so I'd like to explore Jason having powers related to that and being an absolute powerhouse when it comes to debates and politics despite hating them

- characterizing the Gods differently from canon as I'm a Hellenist and writing them as they are in canon makes me like. Kinda uncomfortable. I will be using mythic literalism as that is what PJO/HoO's based on and I'm not rewriting the very foundations of the series, so they will still have committed the things they did in mythology, though I'm keeping them largely unaltered from the Og greek mythos and unsanitized as this isn't intended for a young audience like PJO is. Their behavior won't be exactly like their depictions in myths nor how they actually are irl, it's a mix of both(Ex: Zeus has still done heinous shit so he won't be as great as he is irl, but he isn't supremely petty and bitchy like he is in PJO.). This uhh. Will probably mean that PJO events would go differently which would influence HOO but if I think about that too much I'm gonna wanna do a PJO rewrite too and akbhdhd so just imagine that everything that goes on in PJO goes as canon (for now at least) for some reason or another.

- Octavian and Jason are were best friends cuz I said so. This change is inspired by To Storm and Fire(a Heroes of Olympus rewrite) which I am in LOVE with. The antagonistic side characters(like Drew and Octavian) got very little development or character exploration so l'm definitely giving them that in my rewrite!

- The Seven feel and are much closer together

- delving more into the sevens' trauma pre-camp, might also do a one/two shot for each of them. Jason’s a given cuz I’m writing a whole ass fic or even series dedicated to his past, Leo and Piper definitely, probably also Hazel and Annabeth, not sure on Percy and Frank cuz for Frank I’m def going into the trauma that comes with growing up in an Asian household but don’t have too many ideas on how to execute that, and for Percy I don’t have all that many ideas in general outside of the little we know in PJO(I used to think we knew a lot but honestly, we really don’t? Like we know Poseidon left, Sally had to work a lot, Gabe sucks, and he got kicked out of 6 six schools in 6 years and the reasons, but we don’t have any concrete details. There might be more in HoH, I haven’t read it yet so lmk if there is). Open to any ideas for this!

- camp is. Tense. It's been only a few months since the war, grief is still fresh, and Jason being tall, blonde, and blue-eyed with a scar ain't helping 💀 some people think Silena was a hero, others think she was a villain, some people sympathized with Luke, others despised him, there's a lotta differing views.

I have loads more ideas that I won't get into here cuz the post'll get way too long, but l'd love to hear what you guys think! What scenes/characterizations should I change? What topics would you like to see handled differently? What should I add? I'm open to any and all suggestions!

Currently outlining TLH, will start posting it on my ao3 once I have the first chapter and 4-5 buffer ones written so I'll prolly start posting it in a month or two? Idk, depends on my workload irl and if I get hit by writer’s block. Maybe less, maybe more, who knows. I'll be writing a bunch of shorter stories for specific moments, time between books, and namely a prequel/tih sequel focusing on Jason's past and who he was before Hera wiped his memory. Open to any suggestions for additional works too. Feel free to drop any questions and suggestions bout the rewrite here or in my ask box!

[idontlikeem]

hi! i'd like to talk about losing. you don't have to read this if you don't want to, but i wanted to write it, and guess what, it's my blog. i just like this team a lot and i'm feeling a little maudlin about my guys and a little sick to fucking death of the shit i'm seeing all over kingdom come from 'fans'. so here we are.

So You Became A Fan Of A Living Legend But The Hockey Team Is Bad: a commentary.

look. this is not the most fun i've ever had watching hockey, and i'm quite sure a lot of people feel the same way. the penguins are bad this season! they were bad last season too, but there's something very special about the extent to which they are shit right now. and those are not fun games to watch.

but here's the thing: who cares.

like, idk. there's so much god damn negativity surrounding this team and its performance right now, and i'm guilty of contributing to it as well, because yeah of course i'd rather watch a team win in decisive fashion most nights. of course i'd rather dream about may and june and the stanley cup. of course i want to watch that happen again for my favorite players. like, duh.

but. it's probably not going to. not if these players get what they want, which is to play together on this team until they're ready to retire.

and you know what? that's fine. if they're fine with it, who on earth am i to not be?

i think we all have the same reaction when we see idiots online saying things like 'sid doesn't deserve this trade him to a contender'. and that's because we are smarter and more refined fans who understand that what sidney crosby DESERVES is to select how and where and when his career ends. is it on a team that sucks? then that means being here is more important to him than getting that fourth cup. staying with geno and kris and the penguins as a whole, never putting on another NHL logo, is more significant to him personally than another victory. and isn't that special? isn't that worth celebrating?

of course we know all of that because we're better at being fans than the uncles online who are writing weird fanfic in their heads. but. guess what that comes with:

losing.

and losing badly, in the case of this season.

i am here to tell you that sitting and bitching about it helps no one. right now, what we have to watch and celebrate is our favorite players still playing at a high level. they're still doing cool stuff on the ice. and they're doing it TOGETHER. this is what they wanted. so your options are either to hate it and sit in negativity about it each and every game, OR readjust your mindset and learn to enjoy what we have while we have it.

we are watching myth-making happen live. we are watching living legends play hockey. this is a privilege and an honor and it's not something most fanbases get EVER. and we have two! can you believe it?

there are things i would have rather seen done differently over the last couple of years. as far back as 2019 there were moves i disagreed with and changes that could have been made that perhaps could have extended their window. and of course the 2022 series against the rangers, that was a very good team that got hit by injuries at the absolute worst possible time, and probably that was their last chance as a core to compete. it's frustrating to watch that stuff happen when you have no control over it.

the pittsburgh penguins were high-end competitors and contenders for seventeen years straight. that's insane and unheard of in this league. they're not anymore. and the price you pay for almost two decades of dominance is...being bad. when you're competing you trade prospects and draft picks for win-now players. sometimes those work out, most of the time they don't. with the amount of winning this team has done, even the trades that didn't work were worth it, because it meant they were trying.

there are no fanbases who are going to feel bad for penguins fans right now. that's also why we're getting so much attention from the national media. people aren't used to this team being as bad as it is, and people like watching downfalls. that's fine. most of those fans have never watched their team win, and most of them never will. so if their joy is coming from sidney crosby's team being bad....well, love and light, you know?

and we shouldn't feel bad for ourselves either. this is what happens. this is how it goes. this is the price for the band staying together.

i dunno, guys. this is a disjointed rant. it's just so effing hard to be kicked in the nuts everywhere you go with unrelenting negativity. it's on twitter it's in the articles and yes, it's here too. but if you can't be a fan of a team when they're bad, then i'm sorry but you're not a fan of the team (or certain players), you're a fan of winning. and NO team wins all the time every year. that's not how sports work.

we are lucky. at least, i feel lucky! don't you? gosh, sidney crosby scored his 600th career goal tonight. evgeni malkin is over 500 goals on his career. can you believe that? it's amazing to watch.

and it's going to be over in less than two years. do we really want to waste it by wishcasting something that's not going to happen instead of enjoying what we DO have?

if the media bums you out, don't listen. don't read the articles. don't go on twitter. dry your tears on the stanley cup banners that sid and geno hung up—there are three to choose from!

[the-music-maniac]

This is one that ended up way longer than I would've liked but the brainrot has reached concerning levels.

Brief mentions of sephgen, sephgeal, sephzack, multishipping, spoilers for crisis core, rebirth etc. etc.

I've begun realizing the longer I traverse the various pages of FF7 fanworks that when I say I ship Sefikura, the romantic/sexual aspects of it don't matter as much to me as the emotional catharsis of it. And I say this because I feel like sefikura is often used to explore one specific type of fantasy/smut/kink etc. There's a portion of people who like the ship because they like exploring how fucked up it is for post-nibelheim Seph to try to make Cloud into a puppet - this is usually (not always) accompanied by size difference kink, sub Cloud dom Seph, etc. And while I personally despise that characterization common in that interpretation of the ship, it's still valid, cause y'all should be able to explore your own fanfics however you want. An "Ew. Oh well, none of my business." kind of deal.

I would like to make it known though, that as a Sephiroth fan I kind of hate domroth. Block me if you must, we can just agree to disagree lol.

My interest in Sefikura stems mostly from Sephiroth. I'm gonna shamelessly admit here that while I love Cloud as a character, he doesn't intrigue me as much as Sephiroth does. And I know I'm biased cause he's my favourite, but I get easily stuck on characters who were abuse victims that became villains because they gave into their demons, characters who managed to stay kind, up until they were so beaten down they snapped, characters who I think have redemption potential, even if it wouldn't be easy to do. Which can be the case with Seph both pre- and post- Nibelheim.

Post-nibelheim is a LOT harder to write convincingly, seeing as how he actually did fuck up like. Everything. And his victims don't have to forgive him. Not Cloud either, even though I am writing a post about sefikura. The redemption is more about personal improvement, rather than forgiveness. But it's really interesting because a Sephiroth that even has a chance at redemption post insanity, is one who is a mix of before and after. He still has all that rage inside him from how he was treated by humanity, still has visions of annihilation and delusions of grandeur in his head, but he also remembers that he used to love, that he used to have companionship, scarce as it was, and cared for the well being of the soldiers he lead, etc. How does he get to that point in the first place, and how does he deal with it after? With the warring that is likely occurring from those two sides, the festering resentment of knowing he was given so much less than he should've been, knowing that he had a human mother, but since he IS closer in capability to a god than a human, does he think he's a monster because of his heritage still or because he gave in? Does it even matter at this point, what he is? And what will he do, now that he has a portion of his humanity back (however that occurred) and isn't just purely Jenova? How does he deal with knowing that even in the depths of insanity, he still just didn't want to be alone? And of course the turmoil on Cloud and Co's side, usually some flavour of, okay so repeatedly killing him isn't working, I'm tired of fighting him every couple of years, I still have the responsibility of making sure he doesn't fuck everything up again, and of course the hatred they understandably feel for the shit Sephiroth has done. And as Sephiroth kind of fights to recover some semblance of identity and understanding of himself (without destroying anything), watching that occur and knowing objectively that your enemy didn't deserve what he got when he was a child, that a part of what occurred was after he was pushed to that degree - even if you subjectively can't make yourself feel it at the beginning. And then as the story progresses and characters undergo development, Cloud likely wrestling with the fact that he actually is starting to understand Sephiroth's predicament, realizing Seph can be so very human at times. And dealing with the worst sin/betrayal of all, enjoying his company for his company's sake. A Sephiroth that gets through that and finds some semblance of contentment is meaningful because it would take a mind-boggling amount of hardship and work to get there. And tbh here's where the bias comes in - it's what I would say is a happy ending for everyone. I know people would disagree, a lot would say Cloud and Co getting rid of Seph is good riddance, why should he get a chance, why should they have to deal with him, etc. hence why I acknowledge this is biased - but a happy ending to me is one where everyone else gets to stop fighting Seph and move on with their lives and Sephiroth actually gets to live the life he wanted when he was a child. I won't ever be entirely satisfied with FF7 canon for this reason (true of any tragedy). Nothing that happened to him pre-insanity was fair. So. Catharsis.

As for "redemption" of pre-nibelheim Seph, I read time travel fix-its when it comes to sefikura cause I find it more interesting. For anything pre-insanity that involves canon divergence without time travel, sephgeal, sephgen, sephzack, shipping, platonic or poly makes more sense to me, cause those three are positioned better to help Sephiroth in a meaningful way. Also I personally do think Cloud is a little too young for that then (even if I'm also convinced he 100% had a celeb crush on Seph. Which is also not what Sephiroth needs at that point).

So, for sefikura, pre-nibelheim redemption usually involves Cloud getting yeeted back in time, either by the planet or by choice, to stop things before any of it happens. Cloud usually believes he has to kill Sephiroth, so he'd likely be in close proximity. So how would he deal with seeing, first hand, all the ways that Sephiroth was isolated and dehumanized in Shinra? Cloud still hates him at this point, for good reason. So he's here, witnessing not only Sephiroth being a kind/decent (awkward) human being, but also the lab visits, Hojo being Hojo, being paraded around for propaganda, the effect the "betrayal" of the other firsts likely had, Sephiroth being straight up depressed and malnourished and overworked, hearing whatever lies were fed to control him when he knows the truth. How does he deal with the moral repercussions of killing a technically innocent man? Especially when he realizes that a little support and compassion could've changed the outcome entirely? And Sephiroth on the other hand, now stuck with this persistent stranger that doesn't treat him like either an emotionless weapon or a legend, but some secret third thing (is he trying to kill him???? Can't tell, mixed signals are happening). Cloud would also likely help take Sephiroth's mind off things by virtue of existing - not because Sephiroth particularly cares about Cloud at the beginning (why would he, they're strangers) but because Cloud is fucking weird. Not a soldier, still mako enhanced, angry/aggressive at him in particular and seemingly frustrated about it, history that doesn't match up to current behaviours, etc. Hell, Shinra would likely even order Seph to keep an eye on Cloud. Meanwhile Cloud is desperately fucking with the timeline to ensure everything ends up differently, and accidentally becomes some sort of support for Sephiroth in the process. Because while everyone else was so fooled by the propaganda surrounding their hero, leaving him alone to his own devices (despair and depression), Cloud knows that his attention should be on Seph right now. And I don't think he's the type to just leave things alone out of spite if Seph where to, for example, stumble out of the lab, half delirious from Mako, because of one of Hojo's whims. There's also the question of whether Cloud would know to help with Angeal or Genesis' degradation, which could help either clear up some misunderstandings between Seph and his friends, or just ensure that Seph doesn't lose them at all in the first place.

And if Sephiroth were to find out/be told the truth, about his mother, or about the future, HOW is he gonna react to that???? Knowing that okay, so my heritage isn't actually that of a monster, I have human DNA, but ended up snapping and trying to destroy the world anyways - once again, what does it mean to be a monster, and is he one already, if he hasn't even done all of it yet, technically? In this timeline he's likely closer to Zack, maybe close to Cloud, potentially has met Aerith, maybe Genesis and Angeal are still alive, so he's more tethered by a support system, so how would that change his viewpoints? Would he feel guilty? Does that send him into a worse depression?

Sefikura just tends to give me emotional catharsis when it's written like that, because it gives Sephiroth the opportunity to mourn what he should've had, and gives him a fighting chance to change it. It's someone else being shown the decades of neglect, how deep the hypocrisy of Shinra actually went, the systemic abuse, acknowledging all of the bullshit Sephiroth went through before Nibelheim. It's him breaking out of other's expectations of him, Jenova, or Hojo or whoever else, and getting his childhood wish to just be normal. Like Angeal said (quoted loveless I think) "and what do angels dream of?" "Angels dream of becoming human."

This is also why I find very little enjoyment in reading domroth sefikura. Sephiroth isn't someone who reminds me of that type of personality, before he went crazy. He seems like a very awkward, calm and even sometimes soft dude in his downtime. He's literally just some guy. We don't see a lot of his personality because he was trained (tortured) into believing anything other than perfect control is weakness and failure. I don't think he would have any sexual experience. I think he's depressed, and exhausted and alone and is just very good at hiding it. I don't think he even wants or needs sexual intimacy necessarily, so much as he needs someone to feel safe around.

Anyways. This is. Way too long now. Goodbye.

[cator99]

please finish your wedding story, i so badly want to hear the rest of it. i await eagerly.

>everyone lived happily ever after

>a few weeks pass

>I write the brides a lengthy and detailed letter of recommendation to their immigration lawyer

>they're overjoyed and think its a beautiful letter, and I'm glad to help because I hope they last forever and get everything they want in life, if I may drop the act and be sincere for a moment

>a few days pass. the bride I've known for over 15 years messages me

>however... she doesn't care. she's on her honeymoon. and I'm just some chick she was friends with as a kid. what does upset her is how she found out.

>at first I assume that the woman who reached out to her (who I knew back in jr high, and is a few years older than me) was just trying to upset her

>bride tells me about how this woman was her best friend and then suddenly blocked her out of nowhere, which was (and is) still very painful for her

>the woman, who we will refer to as "A" whips up a story about being concerned for the bride's safety and privacy or something

>bride is confused. there's no identifying information. the post is a nothingburger to her. what's important here is that she's upset that this woman messaged her after 4 years, not to make things right..... but to talk about "zander"

>right, this is about me, because this is "A" we're talking about here...... hell hath no fury like a closet case scorned

how did she find my blog?

I assume it went like this:

>"A" goes to peek at her ex-bestie's wedding photos

>"Zander" Spotted

>runs to LC

>"hey does anyone remember Zander who I used to post about on here all the time 7 years ago? I may have found an update!"

>"that's terf cator99 who was posted about on the Women Youre Ashamed To Want To Fuck thread you fucking idiot that looks nothing like her"

>no here's proof!

>autism ensues

>several replies get deleted, other responses indicate they're "A" sperging and linking my blog

>people argue if I deserve to be there anymore

>"she's a tif"

>"no"

> yes"

>"no"

>"I used to know her" ["A" posting]

>"tell us more!"

>"she used to have this one pair of glasses and then she had this other pair of glasses that looked really good on her..."

meanwhile:

>yeah she's probably back on her LC shit

>find and link bride to the LC thread and explain to her that "A" has just been trolling for fun and to pay it no mind, you're better off without her in your life

>"hey bride-chan, not to be weird but I'm just trying to understand this shit, do you think A ever had a thing for me... I always kind of assumed she was bi or gay when we were younger and thought it was cool that she was androgynous and went to school dressed as Kaito from vocaloid all the time so I wanted to be her friend but she was pretty rude to people and I backed off"

>"well i dont know but she's married to a man now..."

>yet here she is trying to get under the skin of two women who are with other women

to be fair I earned the lolcow title fair and square years ago all on my own, and really do feel I owe "A" a favor for introducing me to the site. it was very formative for me to find out places like that existed right at the moment I was starting to have conflicting thoughts about the trans shit so I could gain some self-awareness (and general awareness overall) (shout out to "A"s friend who cowtipped to me.....)

meanwhile, on LC:

>"well done ladies, we've figured it all out. Butch Lesbian cator99 is currently partying with gay men, and It is common knowledge that "gay men" are all secretly bisexuals who are looking to hook up with women who say things like "I'm a lesbian" and "I am not attracted to males". That is their mating call, in fact. These words activate the Hetero gland in the Amygdala like a sleeper agent who has been biologically programmed– as we all are– to stop the kiki-ing and split off into heterosexual pairings at the end of a poppers-fuelled night assless-twerking to Britney."

>"good work. But I'll one-up you: look at this screenshot."

[photo from an instagram account, featuring a photo of 17 year old Zander's legs in the bath. "I Am Totally Into Epic Awesome Penis Now!!!!!!" (She had never seen a penis)]

>"yes, this is definitely a normal thing for a straight woman to say. I always knew she was a faker."

>"yes. as im sure you're all aware, there are many social and career benefits from pretending to be a lesbian."

>"doesn't that idiot know that she can't just lie and change her orientation? I can't believe she's been straight this whole time."

>"what does she have to gain from lying?"

>"She's so adamant about being a lesbian, which is a dead giveaway for a cover-up operation. The more they resist, the more evident it is that they are lying in order to gain access to that highly lauded Online Lesbian Following, which is something every straight woman wants deep down."

meanwhile:

>call gf

>"bad news. I just found out I'm actually straight."

[hell-drabbles]

Gabriel 4

Summary: It's always fun to look down upon you. You, his newest conversion, his newest creation bound to the ground while he flies in the skies above. Today, you drag him from the sky, and pin him under yourself.

(The Satan ficlet has grown to over 1000 words so it's going to take a biiiit. Have this Gabriel thingy in the meantime, where Gabriel gets put in his place by the Angelified Companion.)

Angels never let their feet touch the ground, no matter where they may be. Be it home in Heaven, or in the war-torn Hell, it is only natural that creatures such as they leave the ground to those that were born to crawl upon it. The earth, the floor itself does not deserve to have an angels bare soles walk upon it, let alone their shoes.

But, you were human once, no? So it's only natural that you walk upon the ground, while Gabriel flew in the skies above. That, and he knows those wings of yours simply don't work. They're not made to carry your ever shifting weight.

"Be sure to clean yourself once you're done. Heaven does not welcome even a single pebble of this place."

And, of course, it is in Gabriel's nature to remind you. Because every response always brings a reaction. And that always brings a smile to his face.

But, today, you didn't say anything, clearly distracted by the chaotic laughter of angels, and the screams of the slain devils. Not even a shred of annoyance.

You looked to him, floating right above your head.

"Make sure you match the state of my shoes."

You closed your eyes, slowly breathed in, then grabbed his ankle.

"You don't get to speak." You made his face eat gravel with a simple tug of your arm. You made him touch the ground. You took the strength that he gifted you, and use it to drive him lower than yourself.

An angels place has always been in the skies, where God lives, bodies kept eternally pure until the day He finally comes back and they can be granted release.

And yet, here he is, mouth dirtied with devil-tainted gravel. Through the pain, through the cracked ribs and rushing blood muffling his hearing, Gabriel's body was singing. It was shivering not with anger, but with fear, with joy.

This was not your mindless self. No, you have become lucid, and every part of him clenched as your clear voice echoed in his brain.

Ah… you really have become an entertaining parasite to him, huh?

Gabriel reached behind him, grabbed a deformed wing from your ankle, and tore it off, because doing nothing would imply submission. And Gabriel does not submit.

A growl emerged from the bottom of your lungs, drowning out all his senses with just your sound. Your breath flowed over him, heated up his shoulders, his ears, "For that," one hand gently caressed his highest left wing, "I'm eating your wing."

He bit so deeply into his tongue, his mouth overflowed with blood.

"Don't," Gabriel spat out despite the pain of the cage and chastity belt digging into him, "don't you dare!"

You paused, and the weight of you shifted. Your body radiated a heat that Gabriel could never ignore. Your shadow consumed him and your knee was finally off his spine.

"I know you want this," you whispered, a thin veneer of a threat within your voice, and ice flowed through his veins, "Every day you love pissing me off until I want to tear everything around me, brick by brick, feather by feather." Your hand pressed against the base of his spine, and Gabriel jolted when your fingers sneaked right under his shirt and traced up his back, his body breaking out into a sweat, "You want me to hurt you? Then I will. I'll show everyone, angels and devils alike, exactly how you like to be torn apart."

And with one sweep of your arm, his shirt was torn to shreds. Before he could growl out a command, you stuffed his mouth with those fabric strips, rolled up into balls. You held his jaw, just so he's unable to spit it out.

"I said, you don't get to say shit." Saliva rolled past the gag and it smeared against his skin and your hand. "Good little angels get to sing. You get to choke on your own spit."

The disgusting wind of Hell dared to touch his clammy back, dared to ruffle through the purity of his white wings. Gabriel wanted to scream, but he despised the way his body froze as soon as you touched the base of his uppermost left wing. He hated the way he can feel himself become feverish, hated the way the lucidity of his brain clouded over in a drunken haze when your tongue licked up his spine.

And Gabriel has never hated himself more then when he choked out a moan when your teeth lightly scraped his wing.

You sunk in, and all he could do was scream. He has never known pain and ecstasy such as this.

[eashmo]

~Oops, I masturbated while my boss watched~

Stray kids mafia au

Pairing: Chan x f reader possible ot8 series???

I'm back!!! Kinda .... hopefully, we shall see!

Warnings: porn, creepy Chan (jk) 👀, masturbating, watching, idk what to write just be 18+ I'm not responsible for minors geez.

I work at Venus Burlesque, which is owned by Stray Kids, whose leader is Bang Chan. Working for them is a blessing, but working for him is a curse... a sexy curse. It was all so entertaining with the gossip, the coworker affairs, Gang fights, everything. Today was everyones day off.... or so, I thought. The big boss wanted to have a video conference for planning dances, outfits, etc. Fine and danty if the guy wasn't such a asshole.

I mean, the guy is a total daddy vibe. He has that serious but sexy look in his face. Plus, the way his suits make him look is something special, it tightens around his broad shoulders, giving away that he is muscled and hot beneath all that fabric; he knows he has power, especially on women, and he knows that is damn sexy. So, has head dancer my boss would constantly call me to ask me for reports and shit, not that I hated it because it was nice to hear his smooth voice so close to my ear, to hear it once growl or whine my name would melt my brain. But today his voice will irritate me  because he's an impossible guy, I get that he's a mafia boss and everything has order but damn, I'm just a tired potato right now and I deserve to hibernate this day off.

one thing that annoyed me at times  was that he held  random meetings over video conference that could easily be an email or wait to be in person,  that made me be angry at him and hate him even more. And it was during one of these video conferences that I fucked up. 

We had the meeting at 9 am, and I overslept this morning, so I rushed through my room to get dressed, but the meeting started, and I couldn't put my panties on, all I had on was a oversized sweater.

Of course, my boss demanded everyone to turn on the cameras only to see that we were there, paying attention. Of course, I turned on my camera and made sure that nobody could see anything, just my face now seeing everyones face. I quickly gave felix and hyunjin a quick wave, which they returned happily.

The meeting began, and my boss never beat around the bush. He immediately asks everyone to report on their duties. One by one, we delivered our perspective on our tasks and made statements on the things needed to be done for the club.

My boss was overall pleased, and after 2 hours that seemed infinite, he dismissed us, and little by little people began to leave the video conference.

I closed my laptop and went to the kitchen to get breakfast, I never hit the 'x' or closed it, so when I came back to continue my work, I opened my laptop and the camera was on, I just didn't know.

So, I began to do my job, researching and filling dance plans until a pop-up came up on my computer. A porn video of a very well-equipped man was right at my face, and on top of his cock was a girl bouncing, taking his entire length inside. 

My eyes snapped open, but I couldn't close the video, the way that girl moaned and rode that cock had me hypnotized. I soon began to feel my body warming, reacting to the video. So, I leaned back on my seat, and continued to watch it, I needed a break from my job anyway. 

I moved around my seat, feeling uncomfortable from my clit rubbing against the leather of the seat, aching to be touched, but I continued to watch, without touching myself. 

I felt my nipples hardening against my sweater, and unconsciously, I began to rub them through the fabric.  My hand moved further, reaching inside my sweater feeling my nipples. I pinched my left one and pulled gently from it, increasing the temperature inside me. The video was extremely hot. The way that guy held his girl and impaled her on him was so sexy. 

I rubbed my tits right there, enjoying the video, unaware of the brown eyes that were behind that screen. I cupped my tits, massaged them and pushed them together as I felt my clit burning. 

I took off my sweater quickly, I was already sweating beneath it. I continued to rub and massage my breasts while staring at the screen. I noticed the green light on next to the camera on top of the laptop, but I didn't pay attention, I was so focused on the video and touching myself that I became unaware of everything around me. 

I reached for my bedside table and pulled out my vibrator. I rubbed it against my tits and my belly, then I opened my mouth and began to suck it, just as the girl was doing in the video. 

She was slowly working on his head, so I did the same, I swirled my tongue around the tip of my vibrator as my other hand continued to rub my nipples. Then she began to suck a little further, sliding in and out on his length, and I did the same. I slid my vibrator inside my mouth slowly, imagining it was a cock, but suddenly, the thought of my boss invaded my head now this cock was not a random cock, it was my boss' cock. 

The idea turned me on even more, being on my knees, begging him to be gentle on me as he holds my head and fucks my mouth just as he wants. I rubbed my dildo against the insides of my cheeks, I raised my leg on my chair and exposed my sex to the camera. 

I circled my clit, thinking of my boss while I watched this amazing couple fucking on my screen. Then I teased myself with my dildo and began to rub it against my entrance until it slid inside, easily.

I was so moistened it made wet sounds when I began to slide it. I continued to watch the video, thinking of my boss' cock while I fucked myself on my chair. I was supposed to be working but I wanted this so badly, after weeks of stressing over show choreography, I needed a release. 

I began to slide my vibrator further in, and then I turned it on. My eyes snapped open, and it vibrated so hard against all my right spots. I remained motionless for a second as a loud moan escaped my mouth.

Then I continued to fuck myself, sliding the vibrator in and out, I could see it leaving my pussy completely coated in my juices. I didn't stop, I thought of my boss being the one fucking me, and it pushed me so close to my orgasm that I tilted my head back and began to moan loudly, saying his name while I moved my vibrator as fast as I could.

C-Channie, you feel so good~

I tilted my vibrator inside me, making it rub the upper wall of my pussy, it felt so good that after a couple of minutes of moaning my boss' name, I began quivering and quaking on my chair, releasing a loud orgasm that came accompanied by a squirt, something I was never able to do before. 

I was surprise by how good and intense my orgasm felt, I had little spasms on my chair while I finished releasing my orgasm. The sounds of the porn video accompanied my moans, and I finished myself with a gentle rub on my entrance. 

I dropped the vibrator on the floor and remained on my chair, in the bliss of my much-needed orgasm. After I recovered from it, I stood up from the chair and cleaned up the mess I made in my room. I took my time; I wasn't going to rush to work after this. 

After I was done, I sat back on the chair,  I closed the video. My eyes snapped open, I even stopped breathing when I saw my boss on my screen, with a dark expression I couldn't read. 

Then I realized I never ended the conference on my side, and he remained there. My camera was on, my microphone was on, and everything was on! I was so embarrassed; I didn't know where to hide my face.

Suddenly, he unmuted his microphone, and his husky voice rang out in the complete silence. " y/n, I'll see you in my office tomorrow night." and that was all, staring at the black screen my mind went from bliss to complete stress in a blink of an eye, and I had no idea what was going to happen or what he wanted to talk about. 

Well shit...this meeting can become the best sex I ever have or the end of my finance stability.

Is anybody wanting a part 2? also, should it be an OT8?

[hayleyheat]

Babe - we haven't ever given any speeches when we've won Grammys. Only posted about it on Instagram. But if you're really wanting that public acknowledgement when we win another one in 10 years, I'll do it. Ah, well - I guess Brian and I are just different like that, then. Well, I guess technically you don't have to tell me but it would be nice if you did. Unless you're lying and the only thing you like about me is my body. Mhm - I was going to say that's a lie - you get me begging quite regularly. Well, hopefully that will work out more often than not for you. You've an amazing actor and deserve all the roles. My head is remaining the size it is, don't you worry. Oh, really? No one else? Consider me feelin' all special and shit. Mhm - if you're not doing anything after Thanksgiving then I'd love for you to come visit again. Or I can come to you - I kind of miss you. Been weird not seeing you - even though I know you're Mr. Busy. If you can carve our time in your schedule for me. You have a lot of faith in your friend there, Starkey. I know, it's weird thinking back on it but sometimes things just get the best of you and you don't see the point anymore. But I'm medicated and I'm in a much better place now. I don't ever see myself stopping making music, even if nothing is ever released again. I'll still be doing it in some way. I don't know what I was going to do - I was getting married, maybe might of had a couple of kids. Who knows. I wasn't really thinking of what was next. You know that you're one of my favorite people to hang out with, Drew. Would it really be such a bad thing for us to have another reason to spend time together? Maybe my character will take the but daddy I can fix him route.

happy to oblige. just toss me a thanks when you win your next grammy, alright ? yeah, trust my buddies do not want that much detail outta' me, hayles. i appreciate you not giving details about my dick to brian, though. i have to tell you, do i ? look at you getting all bossy. i know that you're capable of being patient, babe. not for lengthy periods of time, admittedly. but short-term. it goes how it goes. sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, ya know ? yeah, yeah - you're fucking adorable all of the time. don't go getting a big head about it now. right, right. well, you can consider this an open invitation to any of 'em, hayley. i can't think of anyone else that i'd rather have there, so. what better way to get into the festive spirit than by watching the grinch, right ? i'm looking forward to it. ditto, williams. ditto. oh, i know. it's chase - he'll do something ridiculously stupid soon, i'm sure. you quit music period ? that's wild. it's so inherently a part of you, i can't imagine you not doing it. what were you going to do instead ? again, you're cute. see, i think you're just after an excuse to hang out with me. i'll ignore the fact that rafe just needs therapy and pitch this idea to the pate brothers right away.

[ozonecologne]

.

[yaz-the-spaz]

I can't believe we waited 7 seasons for Buck to kiss a man and it wasn't even the person he literally legally shares a kid with

[michameinmicha]

sucks to have a hyperfixation on pz because there's not much media to engage with to get that sweet sweet serotonin except just playing the game (which i do. a lot. but like i can't all the time)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

among the boundless billions zaniness like laugh track as it definitely has that moment of expressing "rolling my eyes as The Left makes a kerfuffle of Acting like they have a stance as a veneer over the true belief that [xyz] is cool & chill actually" like what, approximate 0.000% chance wendy isn't, as usual, given the Objective Stance of "yeah yeah ohh we are cancelling involved parties talking about how we Don't watch this But. we all love this damn epic movie & already have it memorized so shut the fuck up, kids today" like. don't wanna really delve into how much billions thinks taylor or anyone is "really" trans / nonbinary like not too much benefit of the doubt in this material including what does provide info abt that specifically

& the general like [head in hands. what do you think any of this could possibly be about (you're the one that made your show at all about Power)] of "yes, it's bad/wrong to be someone that someone has done something to / victim of something" like that to be anti misogyny All Women Must Be Epic Winners b/c there's something to be proved: that they don't Deserve to be victims (of misogyny), not taken as a Given. while when we see some epic winner men stepping on other men (who need not all be guaranteed Winners so as to say misogyny is wrong), that's often Good, well beyond any assumption that various forms of basic disrespect / violation / patterns of emergent/entrenched power difference as Bad (for being things done to people, not for there being people they're being done to), & generally billions has to take an extra step when ppl get shitted on & tell us the Specific Cases when it was undeserved actually & someone was being mean to a specific person who didn't deserve that. & the specific cases when hey guess it wasn't that bad(tm) or when hey It's Okay that you're someone something was done to, in this case. & tell us what we were supposed to know all along like when someone who something was being done to (wrong Of Them, whether b/c they inherently deserve it no matter what, &/or b/c they failed to be someone who could make it Impossible to do anything to them, which, how do you do that besides being The Authority / Superior yourself, exactly? nonrhetorically? what if the in group vs out group / fascism / authoritarianism protected Me?) was actually being treated Too Well b/c ah well the abuse meant you were getting any attention, maybe it meant you were claimed as any superior's property, maybe it meant you weren't Already disposed of, as all Losers were in the end, You're Welcome.

obviously referring to winston where it's spelled out all the abuse towards him was deserved, & More than he deserved in the case of rian having more access & taking advantage of that, all for billions' enjoying its own sendoff there of, again, maximizing violation & violence short of [real violence is physical & leaves bruises / draws blood / Literally kills] which would be distasteful in general But doesn't it make wags look like the winner & winston the loser is that the former's completely unrelated completely impersonal ego blow gets way amplified taken out on winston, the most vulnerable recurring character when spyros as [first & ultimate Everyone Hates Him role] is more entrenched in there & billions still magnanimously pities tuk, as it does winston too, just not quite as much. again that like completely surface level realized power fantasy of forcing the mirror up to the Inferior so they're like nooo my inferiorityyyy & in doing so like, the projection in that lmao, we get it re: the valuing of & need(tm) for such Power Tripping & Reaffirming My Superiority & My Ego Restored; Everyone Claps like good god. & then for all ben & tuk are the slightly softer Two Too Nice Boys duo to the rian & winston quant duo, also like too nice i guess but not as much, ben is in charge of tuk but Any instance of rian being in charge of winston outstrips them in that "yay interpersonal abuse" dynamic, like then in the end billions may be like "yeah it's possible to be mean to them unlike how being mean to winston is actually Nice b/c he deserves everything he gets, we only vicariously enjoy it vs Feeling Bad for tuk & ben sometimes (still magnanimously & it's Not That Bad / just goofin)" like ben & tuk still Fail by not being people it's impossible to do anything to. & not Exceptions who anyone is really being Too Mean to. like if they were women, in which case, no problem surely with a "positive" kind of victim blaming where there is something Inherent that Will be victimized so hey how about to cancel that out there's this special Paternal Protection you Need always, Or Else? :) but instead they are men who are asian & is ben gay & w/tuk & winston nobody mentions glasses or fatness but billions doesn't really do much or very in depth textual mentioning of Anything, even w/nonzero mention that there may be gender & race in this world. a gay man, once. no disability. we just Know who are the inferiors who deserve it when they're treated inferiorly, or if they don't, they start deserving it when they fail to stop/avoid it, but if you start mentioning the factors behind who we all totally agree is inferior like whoa nobody was Saying any of that? being the real agent of oppression on the basis of the factors only You spelled out, much? nonbinary? i never say anything about the Gender Binary when i'm subscribing to it, sounds like You've created & enforced it. obfuscation & deflection onto [so Just Normal nobody has to label, explain, or argue it] couldn't serve a purpose & protect the existing power differences as they are. maybe You're the problem? perhaps you brought it upon yourself & now you're causing too much trouble standing up for yourself while everyone else's criticism is laser focused on you as the prior & continuing negative actions done to you are taken as a given / unquestioned / covertly protected to overtly encouraged?

anyway so wild if the Completely Normal(tm) Victim Blaming is uncritically recreated & oft embraced for "if you're watching this & don't wish you were axe / find him appealing" [billions as a sequence of vicarious power trips] purposes in this series....but a bit wild considering like this is your multiseason show that wasn't just purporting to be those power trips for [enough demographic & apparently specific personal tastes overlap w/creators] & was at all purporting to question the matters of power at play in the material, or yknow, at least to not be completely superficial material while said material is textually & thematically all about power difference being leveraged, how, the consequences, & so on. thus i will have to intermittently talk about it forever like this like lord unbelievable. & the funny little & sometimes less funny less little characters it has trapped in there so that those of us who were never meant to be in the audience can be cursed with this knowledge. like i have some feedback. "imagine not victim blaming" & "imagine adjusting your perspective can go beyond superficial layers added to politely defer to some other ppl while they're present but really like cmon do they deserve that. am i not just saying what we're allll thinking"

[doors-worstenemy]

one video has completely turned my view of night mind around. I'm not a huge fan of night mind, I'm a fan of horror and mystery. but I'm not smart, so i watch explanation videos so I'm sure I understood 100% of the plot. Night Mind did a great job of this- mostly- with Marble Hornets, EverymanHYBRID, and things like this house has ppl in it, so I've started looking into his videos for more. Things like Chainmail Chasers, POSTcontent, Rapid Eyes, they were all fine videos from him, treated fair and explained well- praise and criticism where it was due. But it's videos like his "case file" or whatever he calls it on the series "JustAcquaintances" that pisses me off. When he started laughing at them in part 2 I couldn't keep watching. It's rude, it's pointless, it's mockery. No explanation or defense at the end of the video can make up for that. JustAcquaintances is what most arg/found footage fans want to be. A fun homemade series with friends, something made with passion and genuine interest- not professional and trained. Marble Hornets is good found footage because it's professional, they knew what they were doing and planned every step months or years ahead. If I'm not wrong, some members of Marble Hornets were in school working on film/acting. Either way, it's professional. JustAcquaintances is an example of well preformed fanwork in the best way possible. Their acting is amazing, a bunch of stupid guys looking for trouble end up in deep shit with the paranormal and a cult. The police, real or fake, time and time again leave them in either deeper shit or the same as before. Now people are dying, being kidnapped, stalking, beating, torturing our protagonist. It's good. It's a good series. It's what I want every found footage fan to create, i want a dozen million fans to go out with their ideas and do this. Because I don't expect every series to be another EverymanHYBRID. I don't want another Marble Hornets. I want raw passion of creativity woven from horrific inspiration. And I've seen the Slenderverse/yt horror community. They are critics, expecting the best, expecting all of the creators effort into these series'. But these are free. They are on Youtube, somewhere that's very famous for not giving creative- esp horror related- projects the attention and monetization they deserve. These are projects filmed by humans for the sake of letting their dark little project out of their heads and onto your screen. They deserve praise, they deserve your attention, they deserve your patience, and they deserve your criticism NICELY. THEY DON'T GET PAID ENOUGH BY THESE VIDEOS FOR YOUR SPONSERED, MONITETIZED, WELL RECEAVED VIDEO TO LAUGH AT THEM. THEY DESERVE TO BE PRAISED FOR THAT SCEEN REALLY, IT LOOKS AND SOUNDS LIKE HE'S REALLY BEING BEATEN BY A BAT, THEY AREN'T HITTING HIM IN THE HEAD OR SPINE, THEY AREN'T HITTING ALL TO HARD, THEY'RE BEATING HIM FOR THE SAKE OF BEATING HIM. AND IT'S WELL PREFORMED. HE'S CONFUSED, HE'S TRYING TO PROTECT HIMSELF AGAINST SOMEONE HE KNOWS KIDNAPPED AND HURT HIS BROTHER. HE'S SCARED. HE ISN'T FIGHTING BACK BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE'S ALONE, DEFENSLESS. HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOUR LAUGHTER. Even if poorly acted, he is on the floor, rolling in dirt, with bugs and germs in a public area, crying and whining, all for your entertainment. Not for money, for you- a supposed fan of found footage- to enjoy his act. He's willing to roll and scream in public, in the dirt, for you to laugh at him. It seems unfair, to do all this and expect nothing in return. JustAcquaintances is a good series, it's not hollywood, it's not professional, but it's exactly the passion I want to see every artist put into their work. It's what I want from anybody that's been inspired by horror or found footage, it's art and I wouldn't ever want them to change it. I'd want them to learn from it. Take what they've created and keep creating- just for the sake of creation. Criticism is necessary for art to prosper, but criticism isn't an hour and a half of copy and pasted footage occasionally interrupted by laughter or high expectations.

[missrosegold]

Looks like I just lost another close friend to guy who isn't worth a pile of dog shit. 😊

[luvevee]

Scarlet and Violet, performance wise really lacking to the point where it's obvious there needs to be changes to how staff need to be treated better and given more time to work, are really some of the best games in the mainstream series I've ever played and I just really want to talk forever about how amazing it all is

[thehallstara]

i just like. wish ppl would realize how bad things are for most diaspora jews atm and like. take that into account wrt how they talk abt stuff