#derek morgan x fem!bau!reader
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nine lives - d.m
in which; derek gets injured in the field and fem!reader isn’t happy with him.
content; tw! derek has bruises from bullets, kinda graphic desc(?), nicknames (doll, sugar, ma'am, etc,), cocky!derek x annoyed!reader, inaccuracies i’m sure but who cares, derek's abs, jj cockblocks(?) i suppose.
a/n; @darkmatilda requested this everybody say thank you matilda! i’ve been slacking w posting but my wips hate me apparently. kisses! wc: 1.9k
A sickly feeling still resided in your stomach. Your head was throbbing with the constant bombardment of ‘what if?’ and a million ways the situation could’ve been avoided. This and the three distinct crashes of go bags hitting oak desks, similar to that of three gunshots - at least in your addled brain - were enough to tell you that the irritation that’s been brewing was definitely still residing.
He’d been hurt in the field.
The thought almost made you gag, the anger overpowering, consuming every part of your body until you did something about it. It felt like it was begging you to purge it, cleanse it from your body, and god did you want to. However, the more logical part of you knew that throwing up wouldn’t make the frustration go away, wouldn’t stop the onslaught of worst case scenarios in your mind’s eye. The only thing it would serve for is making you feel even worse.
Opening one of the wooden desk drawers, you take out a water bottle and guzzle almost half of it down. In the midst of all of the stress and chaos, water was the least of your priorities. From across the room, a pair of eyes can be felt tracking you, watching each and every move you make. Against your better judgement, your head snapped up to see who it was.A futile action; you had already known that it was Derek staring at you but, since the incident, you’d made it a point to avoid him. Unfortunately for you, instincts had taken over a few moments ago and now the awkward jet ride had been in vain.
Realistically, you were aware that being mad at somebody for getting shot at wasn’t particularly logical, but you couldn’t help it, and so you’d kept your distance from Morgan. In place of your usual banter on the jet was an unusual silence, your ears were void of the usual 90’s hip-hop/R&B that came with him sharing his headphones with you, and he wasn’t warming your side with his usual presence because you’d sat away from him.
Familiar voices snap you both out of the staring contest that had started to ensue, your mind quickly recognising them as Reid and Penelope’s.
“He what?” Penelope gasped, manicured hands slapping over her mouth instantaneously.
In response, Spencer’s face had fallen flat, lips pressing into a thin line, signalling he’d probably just let something slip that wasn’t already common knowledge. Clearly, he’d just accidentally informed Penelope about Derek’s incident out in the field.
“Reid,” Morgan chided, before turning his attention to the blonde who stood in front of him now, “Baby girl, I’m okay. See? Still alive and breathin’.”
“But you… And the… Oh God,” Penelope stopped and started, trailing off before starting another thought. Whether it was because she was overwhelmed by the news or didn’t want to say the words out loud, you weren’t too sure.
Watching the whole ordeal from your desk only intensified the completely unreasonable anger you felt, tongue poking the inside of your cheek. Derek’s soothing murmurs to Penelope faded into the background as the different outcomes of today played in your head.
Derek had been shot at, standard for a field agent of course, but the bullets had hit him. If it wasn’t for his vest, he would be in the hospital right now. All because he’d taken a chance and trusted a deranged psychopath to put down his weapon at the hands of the FBI. God, the overwhelming urge to smack some sense into Derek Morgan only grew as you thought about the situation, how he hadn’t waited for back up, how he’d lowered his weapon without so much as an ounce of hesitation.
The opinions you harboured on the matter weren’t fair; you weren’t there, you don’t know what had actually happened, however any and all logic was proving to be out of depth in the cauldron of agitation that had been brewing since you’d been told what had happened. You knew that it wasn’t fair to blame him. You also knew that this response definitely came from fear rather than actually being mad at him, but acknowledging that meant opening up the door for something else entirely. Some things were better left untouched, in your opinion.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Based on the terribly sluggish nature of everybody’s movements and the slow ticking of the clock looming over the room, it was obvious that nobody wanted to be at work. In full fairness, it wasn’t usual to stay at the bureau after returning from a case, but the case had wrapped up quicker than expected. Hotch had announced on the jet that Strauss had ‘asked’ if it were a possibility. You figured it was to make up for the hotel rooms they’d prepaid for, what with the new budget cuts.
After what felt like the umpteenth time you’d caught yourself staring at Derek and watching him wince in pain, you chewed the inside of your cheek while standing up and making your way over to his desk. The bullpen was free from the team; Hotch and Rossi were in their offices, as was JJ, Reid was off in Penelope’s ‘lair’, and Prentiss was in the kitchenette making coffee. By the time you’d reached Derek’s desk, you were sure you’d be missing half of your cheek with the vice-like grip your premolars had on it.
Once you were fairly certain that opening your mouth wouldn’t be followed by an onslaught of swear words or beratement, you spoke to Morgan for the first time in hours.
“Come with me.”
“You tryin’ to kidnap me, doll? If you want me that bad, you can just say so,” he teases, attempting a soft snicker at his own joke before wincing in pain slightly.
“No. Just stop being cocky and listen for once, Derek.”
For a few moments, he leaves you standing in front of his desk, waiting for a response, and feeling like an absolute idiot. Finally, he gives you a look - accompanied by a small shrug of one shoulder - that simply reads as ‘touche’ and then he’s rising from his seat. Schooling your expression to keep it impassive as you turn to lead the way, silently relieved that he’s actually cooperating with you, you remain silent as you keep walking with Derek behind you.
Just down the hall from the bullpen and the other offices the BAU consists of, there’s a small, beige, forgotten infirmary room that nobody ever uses for its original intention. That changes today, you suppose. As Derek shuts the door behind himself, he opens his mouth after taking in the secluded room and the examination table that could double as a bed, but you beat him to it.
“Sit down, Morgan.”
“Sugar, you are desperate for it, huh?”
“Sit. Down.”
He raises his hands in mock surrender, “Yes ma’am,” before sitting on the bed of green plastic covered with a thin sheet of paper.
With Derek finally sat down, you open one of the dusty cupboards and pull out one of the 15 (you counted them once) first aid kits in there before turning back to face Morgan and placing it to the left of him. Unclipping the green, plastic case and opening it up causes one of Morgan’s eyebrows to raise.
“What’s that for, sugar?”
“You. I know you’re in pain and not saying anything.”
Your tone is firm, facial expression showing nothing but exasperation with him so, he relents with a sigh before grabbing the hem of his grey t-shirt and pulling it up so that you can tend to his wounds. At the sight of his bare skin, abs exposed to you and all, your heart rate picks up and the room feels like it’s getting warmer by the minute.
“Stupid decision, by the way,” you add in a murmur, praying to whatever is out there that he can’t tell how much his chiseled torso is affecting you.
“Mama, I’m just fine. Really,” he insists, but you’re already digging through the first aid box.
Remembering what he’d been told to do by paramedics, to keep the bruises cool and wrapped, you reach for one of the ice packs in the first aid kit. Before activating it, your hand hesitantly moves towards the wrapped section of his midriff to expose the bruised skin beneath it.
Morgan hisses slightly when your finger brushes a bruise rather than the white cloth, the sound causing you to retract your hand as if he had hurt you and not the other way around. You mumble a small sorry and return your attention to the ice pack next to him, picking it up and activating it with a cracking noise.
“This gonna hurt?”
“Not as much as getting shot at.”
“What was that for?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
By now, you’re pressing the ice pack lightly to the area of injury, barely any space between the two of you as he sits on the examining table with you standing in between his legs. Your gaze finally meets his - probably a good thing, you conclude, because staring at his abs any longer might’ve made you melt - eye contact unwavering.
“Don’t play that game with me. Since I got shot, you’ve been acting differently. Avoiding me, sitting away from me on the jet, hardly even making eye contact with me, this weird hostile attitude. Why?”
“Because, Derek, you got shot at and it was stupid. You should’ve been more careful.”
“Sugar, I know you don’t believe it was my fault I got shot,” his tone softens, “What’s really going on up there, hm?”
His finger lightly taps on your forehead, again reminding you of just how close the two of you are to each other, because you didn’t even see his arm move to do it. Both of you are yet to disturb the intense eye contact happening, eyes boring into each other’s - his searching for answers in yours, yours seeking relief in his.
“I shouldn’t have been mad at you for getting shot at. I’m sorry.”
“I just wanna know why, doll.”
“You scared me. A lot,” you admit in a whisper, fighting the urge to bow your head and nuzzle into the top of his chest.
Instead, you keep your head level as the both of you stare at each other, your hand still pressing the ice pack to his lower midriff during the interaction. Visibly, his face softens with your admission, and then his lips curve into a barely there smirk.
“Yeah? You care about me, sweetheart? Awh,” he teases.
“Seriously. You don’t have nine lives, D, you can’t risk losing this one.”
“Yes, ma’am. I am so sorry for forgetting that I’m not a cat.”
“God, you can’t ever be serious, can you?”
“Hard to be serious when there’s a pretty woman tending to my wounds, angel.”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” you mutter and let your eyes drop to his abs between you, momentarily distracted.
“See something you like?”
As you go to reply, lips slightly parted - though the words that should’ve come out hadn’t even fully formed in your head yet - the door swings open to reveal one Jennifer Jareau. Morgan turns his head slowly to look at her while you whip your head to the right so fast it could’ve given you whiplash.
JJ’s face contorts with confusion, you presume it’s because she only expected to find you in here - and certainly not extremely close to Morgan with your hand resting on his midriff.
“I’m so sorry. I’m not interrupting something, am I?”
“No, Jayje, you’re okay,” you reassure her.
“Hotch needs everyone in the briefing room.”
“We just got back,” Morgan grumbles.
“He said it was urgent. I’ll uh, let you two… finish up,” the blond says quietly, giving the two of you an awkward smile, and then closing the door behind her.
#derek morgan fanfiction#derek morgan x reader#derek morgan x fem!reader#derek morgan x fem!bau!reader#derek morgan x you#derek morgan x self insert#derek morgan x bau!reader#derek morgan scenario#derek morgan#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fic#derek morgan hurt/comfort#cm#fanfiction#derek morgan x y/n#criminal minds x you#derek morgan fluff
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Unveiled Secrets
Summary: The BAU team has a sneaking suspicion that their stoic leader, Aaron Hotchner, is in a relationship, but they don't know the extent of it.
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader
Category: Fluff
Content Warnings: Jack and Haley do not exist in this, kissing, cuddling, allusions to sex, light teasing, use of Y/N, pet names (my love, baby), that’s it I think, lmk if I missed any! Oh and pure fluff!
Word Count: 1.8k
Mars speaks… hi my loves, I was motivated to write so I am using this to figure out my writing style a bit and how I want to format my works! I’ve been going through a bit of a Hotch phase lately so I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Masterlist
The BAU office was slowly quieting down as the day turned to dusk, the last rays of sunlight casting long shadows across the desks. Aaron Hotchner, head of the Behavioral Analysis Unit, stood in his office, the soft light of his desk lamp highlighting the stress lines that had deepened over the years. He checked his watch—almost time to go home. A rare, soft smile touched his lips, a sight reserved for only one person.
He closed the case file on his desk, slipping it neatly into his briefcase before reaching for his jacket. His phone buzzed just as he picked it up, and he glanced at the screen to see a text from you, Can’t wait to see you. Should I pick up dinner?
That smile of his deepened as he quickly typed a reply, I’ll pick it up on my way home. See you soon, my love.
He hadn’t planned on keeping his relationship with you a secret, nor did he have any grand strategy for revealing it. He assumed that given time, his team would figure it out on their own. After all, they were profilers—eventually, they would notice the subtle shifts in his behaviour, the unexplained absences, the slightly more relaxed demeanour after particularly stressful cases. He hadn’t intended to hide it forever, just until they pieced it together.
As he opened the door to his office, however, he nearly collided with Spencer Reid, who was walking by, engrossed in a file. Reid looked up, startled, his eyes wide with surprise.
"Sorry, Hotch! I didn’t see you there."
"It’s alright, Reid," Hotch replied, a calmness in his voice that belied the momentary flicker of surprise in his eyes. He wasn’t often caught off-guard, especially not in the safety of his own office.
Reid, however, had a habit of noticing things others missed. His eyes flickered to the phone still in Hotch’s hand, the screen just dimming from inactivity. Before Hotch could slip it into his pocket, Reid’s sharp eyes caught your name on the screen. His brow furrowed in confusion as he processed the information.
“Y/N, as in the academy’s Y/N?” Reid asked, the question out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
Hotch froze for a fraction of a second, but it was enough for Reid’s sharp mind to pick up on the anomaly. Reid’s brain worked at lightning speed, connecting dots that others might have missed. He knew Hotch was fiercely private, but this reaction was new.
“Goodnight Reid” Aaron replied, quickly, shutting down any further questioning that may have come from the young genius.
Reid blinked, taken aback, but his curiosity was now piqued. However, years of working with Hotch had taught him when to push and when to back off. “Have a good evening, Hotch.”
As Reid walked away, Hotch let out a slow breath. This wasn’t how he wanted the team to find out, though he couldn’t say he was surprised. He had always assumed it would be Reid who would notice first; the young profiler missed nothing. Still, he had hoped for a bit more time. But the cat was out of the bag now, and he knew it wouldn’t be long before the rest of the team found out.
The next morning, the BAU office was abuzz with more than the usual activity. Reid’s brief encounter with Hotch had set off a flurry of curiosity and speculation among the team. They were profilers, after all, and even the smallest clues could ignite their imaginations.
“I’m telling you, something’s definitely going on with Hotch,” Reid said as the team gathered in the bullpen before their morning briefing. He couldn't shake the image of your name on Hotch's phone from his mind.
JJ, trying to keep things under control, said, “Come on, guys, it could just be a friend. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”
Morgan leaned back in his chair, a knowing grin on his face. “Reid’s onto something. Hotch has been acting a bit differently lately. He’s not staying late like he used to.”
“And he’s been smiling more often,” Garcia added, her excitement barely contained. “The man’s practically glowing sometimes.”
Rossi, with a teasing tone, suggested, “Maybe he’s just getting better sleep. But I have to admit, there’s definitely something different.”
Garcia’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “Don’t you want to know? If Hotch is seeing someone, that’s huge!”
Rossi shrugged, still smirking. “Of course, I’m curious. But let’s give him some space. If he wants us to know, he’ll tell us. And if we’re lucky, we might even get to meet her.”
Prentiss grinned, "Do you think it’s serious? Like, she’s ‘the one’?”
“I think,” Rossi said thoughtfully, “if Aaron is keeping this under wraps, it’s because it’s important to him. He wouldn’t be so secretive if it wasn’t serious.”
Just then, Hotch entered the bullpen, and the conversation quickly shifted to a quieter, more focused buzz. The team members turned to their desks, but the air was charged with unspoken questions and speculative glances. Hotch, sensing the change in atmosphere, gave a brief nod before heading to his office.
As the day dragged on with paperwork and case briefings, the undercurrent of curiosity remained. The team exchanged looks, clearly eager to discuss Hotch’s secret, but they were careful to avoid bringing it up directly. The excitement about Hotch’s personal life was palpable, and everyone was waiting for the right moment to address the topic.
Later that evening, Aaron finally headed home after a long day. As he walked through the front door, he found you curled up on the couch, a blanket draped over your legs, and a glass of wine in your hand. You looked up from the book you were reading, a smile spreading across your face when you saw him.
“Hi, baby, how was your day?” you asked, setting the book aside as he walked over to you.
“Tiring,” he admitted, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “And eventful. Reid saw a text from you last night.”
Your eyes widened in surprise. “Oh no. What did he say?”
“He asked if it was from you,” Aaron said, sitting down beside you. “I shut him down, but I think I gave myself away. The team’s been acting strange all day.”
You chuckled, leaning your head on his shoulder. “So, they’re onto us?”
He nodded, slipping an arm around you and pulling you closer. “It was bound to happen eventually. I just didn’t expect it to be now.”
“I’m surprised they didn’t figure it out sooner,” you said, your fingers tracing patterns on his chest. “They are profilers, after all.”
He smiled down at you, his expression softening. “I never planned on keeping it a secret forever. I just figured they’d figure it out on their own time.”
“So, what’s the plan?” you asked with a playful grin.
He sighed, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on your shoulder. “I suppose it’s time to tell them. They’re already curious, and I’d rather they hear it from me than through rumours.”
“You know they’ll be happy for you,” you said, squeezing his hand. “For us.”
“I know,” he agreed. “But there’s a part of me that’s nervous. I’ve always kept my personal life separate from work, but with you… it’s different.”
You leaned up and kissed him softly, the warmth of the moment lingering between you. “We’ll do it together, then. When you’re ready.”
Aaron’s gaze softened, but a playful glint sparkled in his eyes as he pulled you closer. “Right now, I want to do anything but think about the team,” his voice dropped to a low murmur.
You felt the heat of his words and smiled, leaning in closer. “Sounds perfect,” you whispered, as he nuzzled against you, his lips brushing yours with a grin.
A few days later, Rossi had decided to host a dinner party for the team. The team was eager to catch up and enjoy the evening. Aaron knew it was the perfect opportunity to introduce you to the team as his girlfriend.
As the doorbell rang, Rossi answered the door to find Hotch standing beside you. As you both entered the living room, the atmosphere in the room shifted instantly as Hotch introduced you with a genuine smile.
“I’d like you to meet Y/N, my girlfriend,” Hotch said, his voice steady but warm.
The room fell into a stunned silence before erupting into excitement. Garcia’s face lit up with recognition and delight. “Oh my God! It’s Y/N! I knew it was someone! This is incredible!”
Morgan’s grin widened as he approached. “So, this is the elusive woman behind Hotch’s new smile! You’ve been keeping us in the dark for too long, Hotch.”
JJ smiled warmly as she extended her hand. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you, Y/N, we’re really happy for both of you.”
Reid, ever the profiler, couldn’t resist asking, “How long have you two been together?”
Hotch laughed softly, putting an arm around you and smiling fondly. “Almost five months now. Y/N works as the unit chief for the BSU in the academy. I met her when she invited me to guest lecture.”
Garcia’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “I knew it! You two have that perfect power couple vibe. We have to plan another get-together so we can hang out more!”
Rossi, enjoying the moment, gave Hotch a friendly pat on the back. “Well, I guess this means you won’t be around for poker nights as often.”
Hotch chuckled. “I’ll still make time for poker nights, don’t worry.”
As the evening continued, the team enjoyed getting to know you better. The atmosphere was filled with laughter, light-hearted teasing, and genuine happiness for Hotch and you.
“So, when do we get to do this again?” Garcia asked eagerly.
Hotch smiled, feeling content. “Soon. We’ve been talking about having you all over for dinner. Now seems like the perfect time.”
As the team chatted and enjoyed the evening, Aaron felt a weight lift off his shoulders. Introducing you to his team had been a significant step, but their warmth and support made it all worthwhile. The thought of merging his work family with his personal life filled him with quiet joy.
As the party wound down and the team began to leave, Morgan gave Hotch a sly grin. “You know, Hotch, we’re happy for you, but don’t think we won’t give you a hard time about keeping this a secret for so long.”
Hotch chuckled, appreciating the camaraderie. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
With that, the team said their goodbyes and headed home, their spirits high. Hotch followed them, feeling grateful for the support of his team and looking forward to the future with you.
Mars speaks... (again) Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Also, would anyone be interested if I wrote for other fandoms such as F1 and Marvel? Any feedback is greatly appreciated🫶
#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#aaron hotchner x you#ssa aaron hotchner#thomas gibson#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#bau x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#fanfiction#spencer reid#david rossi#penelope garcia#emily prentiss#derek morgan#jenifer jareau#reidsworld
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high heels ll spencer reid x reader
warnings/tags: non, fluff, total fluff, fem reader, prince charming spencer reid word count: 1226 a/n: this is so not me I can run in heels so have fun with this one.
You were used to wearing boots, booted heels, platforms, and trainers. Never in your life had you thought you'd wear stiletto heels. It was fine, you could walk perfectly fine if you were on a flat surface, the pain wasn't even that bad.
Stairs?
No. Stairs were your biggest enemy in them. Up or down, you were like a new born deer.
"Are you sure you don't want to just wear another pair of shoes?" Spencer asked as he watched you wobble down the stairs of your apartment building.
You gave him a stink eye.
"Fine, but don't ask for my shoes later on." He gave you a look, and you smiled, taking his arm.
"Wouldn't dream of it, Doc." You giggled as you walked to the car.
Both of you were dressed formally, Spencer in his nicest black tux and you in a black satin dress that fell to your midcalf. The FBI had a dinner every couple of years just to celebrate. Spencer and you both knew it was just an excuse for an open bar.
The drive there was easy enough. It was not far, the two steps into the hotel, you held Spencer's arm for dear life.
"Just up the stairs."
Your heart dropped at the sentence that came out of the receptionist's mouth. You looked towards the grand staircase that was heading up, in that moment, you were sure you'd end up falling down them. Spencer was clearly enjoying your sense of dread, its as if he was waiting to say 'I told you so.'
"Come on." Spencer tugged you along, and you tried not to trip over your feet.
You started delicately taking steps up the stairs, again holding Spencer's arm. He looked amused at your struggles, but when they got to the 10th step, he sighed. It had taken you 3 minuets to climb them.
You let out a shout as he scooped you into his arms, carrying you up the stairs bridal style. Your arms automatically wrapped around his neck as you went red.
"I couldn't watch you struggle any longer, it was hurting me deeply." He spoke. You tried to hide your smile in his suit. "You definitely are liking this."
You smacked his chest with one of your hands. "Shut up."
You did enjoy every moment of it. He gave you another cheeky smile as you hit the top of the stairs. Delicately, setting you down. You brushed off your dress and gave him a bright smile.
"Thank you." You whispered, already feeling eyes on you both. You fiddled with his tie for a moment.
"Anything for you." He kissed the side of your head before allowing you to take his arm again.
The night went usually. Greeting people you knew, moments where you were on the small room for dancing. Spencer had wandered off somewhere with Derek while you stood with JJ and Will. "How are the shoes?" JJ asked, staring down at her feet. She was the one who'd gifted you them.
"They're nice, but I think most of the time I'm trying not to fall to my death." You let out a chuckle.
JJ gave you a sympathetic look. "You get used to it, I promise."
A tap on your shoulder made you turn around. Spencer stood with his arms behind his back and a cheeky smile on his face. You narrowed your eyes, wondering what he was up to.
He held out his hand dramatically, bowing slightly. "May I have this dance, my lady?"
Your cheeks heated, and you grinned. "Why, of course." You mock curtsied at him as he pulled you onto the makeshift dance floor, where a few people were swaying together.
JJ and Will were joined by the rest of the team, and they all watched them dance together with soft expressions. You giggling at his dramatic flairs to the dance. Him making sure you were only focused on him, it wasn't hard, he was the only one for you. His hair was pushed back slightly, his face had its usual light stubble, he looked like rugged prince charming.
"Another side to him comes out with her." Derek spoke, a chuckle coming out as he sipped his drink.
Your squeal was audible when he twirled you out quickly, pulling you back in and dipping you low. "You're going to make me fall." You shook your head amused.
"I'd never let you fall." He smiled back, kissing the side of your mouth. "If I did, I'd always be there to catch you."
"You're so cheesy." You giggled in his arms.
"I'm lactose intolerance." He quipped back, you snorted and pressed your head to his shoulder.
Will smiled at the pair and their antics. "I'll be surprised if they're not married by the end of the year." He spoke out loud.
"It's November." JJ reminded.
Will shrugged. "Like they'd ever have a traditional wedding, they'd probably get married by an Elvis impersonator, with ring pops." JJ laughed leaning back into Will.
"You look wonderful." Spencer whispered as you swayed together.
"And you look magical." You whispered back, he hummed leaning his head on yours.
The night dwindled down, You and Spencer didn't let go of each others hands for the rest of the evening. You said your goodbyes to everyone, making sure to remind the rest of the team about your Christmas party.
As soon as you started making your way out. Spencer scooped you into his arms again, everyone's eyes turned to the pair of you as he rushed out with you in his arms.
Will nudged JJ to look at what Spencer was doing. JJ raised her eyebrows. "Okay, maybe you'll be right." She muttered.
"You like doing this more than me." You laughed as he made his way down the stairs. One arm under your knees, the other under your arms.
"I admit nothing." He replied, kissing your cheek. You hid your face in his neck as he continued.
As soon as they hit the last step. You were sure he'd let you down, instead he kept walking towards the door. "What are you doing?"
"Taking you home, my lady." He replied, giving you another cheeky smile. His eyes were bright staring at you with love in his eyes.
The doorman opened the door with a smile on his face. You wiggled to be let down and he let you down softly laughing at your scowl. You shivered at the cold. He took of his blazer, quickly wrapping you up.
"You don't have to do that." You replied, about to start taking the blazer off. Instead, he just scooped you up again, not caring about the looks he was getting. "Spencer!" You laughed smacking his chest.
"Just enjoy it, I am." He grinned down at you. You rolled your eyes leaning into his shoulder.
Will was right. Three weeks later. Spencer and you announced you two were married at your Christmas party.
Pictures of you with a Elvis impersonator, two red ring pop rings on your left hands. There was pictures of you kissing while dipped. Him holding you bridal style with a bright red lipstick stain on his cheek, and a bright smile on both of your faces. One where you were holding Spencer bridal style, your face red and Spencer trying to hide his face with one hand. Then another where you both had your foreheads together just cheesing at each other.
#spencer reid#Spencer reid x reader#Spencer reid fluff#Criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#Spencer reid x you#Fluffiest#Spencer reid x y/n#mgg#Spencer reid x fem reader#bau reader#derek morgan#jenifer jareau#will lamontagne#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot
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Words to Die By
The Rookie x Criminal Minds Crossover
Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!BAU!reader
Summary: Seven years after failing to become an LAPD officer, you return to Los Angeles as a literary analyst with the FBI's behavioral analysis unit to catch a serial killer.
Warnings: angst, violence, discussions of autopsies and forensic science, literary references, fluff and banter, improper use of a meat locker
Word Count: 13k+ words
Masterlist Directory | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Rules
As the slick black SUV with US government plates parks outside the LAPD Mid-Wilshire station, you try not to reminisce. It would be too easy to remember how excited you were to walk in on your first day after the police academy, too easy to remember the devastation and heartbreak you felt walking through the same doors after surrendering your badge. You open the car door and focus on the current job, keeping your head down as you follow your team into the station that once felt like home. After finding an empty space out of the officers’ way to wait while your boss speaks to the watch commander and captain, you unlock your phone and scroll through the case details you reviewed on the flight, looking for anything you might have missed.
“Can I help you?”
You look up from your phone, the case detail email disappearing as you press the power button and smile at the LAPD officer standing before you.
“Sorry, I’m waiting for the rest of my team,” you explain before brandishing your badge.
“Oh, no worries. This is my first time working in a task force,” she replies. “It’s exciting.”
You nod and subconsciously tug on your sleeves. Officer Chen is obviously a rookie, and her enthusiasm is refreshing.
“Is this your first time in LA?” she asks.
“No, it isn’t.”
“Chen, Bradford wants to see you before roll call,” another officer calls.
“Is Bradford your training officer?” you ask.
“He is. Do you know him?”
You look around, then say, “Tim is on, what? His tenth plain clothes day washout?”
“Eleventh,” she answers, surprised.
“Nice to meet you, Officer Chen.” You offer your hand and say, “I’m number five.”
Chen’s jaw drops before she asks, “And now you’re FBI? How did that happen?”
“Long story… But I’m a literary analyst for the behavioral analysis unit, not exactly a field agent.”
A passing officer stops, then steps backward to look at you. “Are you on Hotchner’s team?”
“I am. I assume you remember him?”
“You know an FBI agent, Officer Lopez?” Chen asks.
“He was responsible for over 100 convictions of corrupt cops six or seven years ago. Five of them were LAPD, and one was our watch commander,” Lopez explains. “Chen, we need to get to roll call.”
You nod to Lucy, then return your attention to an email from Penelope.
“Your phone should be at least twelve inches from your face to limit blue light exposure,” Spencer says as he enters the station. “Sixteen to eighteen inches is preferable.”
“Spencer,” you reply, smiling as you turn toward him. “Penelope used what appears to be 6-point font and then zoomed out. I appreciate the concern for my eye health but take it up with her.”
Spencer frowns and murmurs, “Sounds like a job for Morgan.”
“What’s that, pretty boy?” Derek inquires as if he was summoned by the utterance of his name. “Gettin’ girlie here a date?”
“In Los Angeles?” you ask incredulously. “Hard pass.”
“Right, because the location is the issue with the plan. Not the fact that we’re working a case, and new evidence was discovered this morning,” Hotch deadpans from your side.
“I can multitask, boss man,” Derek defends, tossing his arm over your shoulders.
“Psychologists have determined the human brain isn’t designed for successful multitasking,” Reid begins. “It can cause switch cost, which results when attention and information retainment are suddenly redirected from one task to another, and cognitive efficiency and performance diminish-“
“Says the walking brain with at least fourteen tabs open,” Derek jokes.
“They’re waiting for us,” Hotch reminds. “I mean, only if you’re ready.”
“Your station,” Derek tells you, shaking your shoulders gently as he follows you toward the roll call room.
“… and there is no excuse for failure to communicate,” Sergeant Wade Grey continues as you follow Hotch into the roll call room.
You stand between Hotch and Derek as he speaks and look around the room. Fourteen officers are seated at the tables, listening intently even as their eyes stray to the case board. JJ joins you a moment later, mouthing an apology to Hotch before passing him a folder.
“More evidence?” you whisper.
She nods, then whispers something to Spencer, who furrows his brows and squints at the case board. You know the look, and it increases your concern about the case. Though there have been two notes and a book tied to the previous crime scenes, you’re unsure why Hotch decided you needed to join them in LA. You could have stayed in Virginia with Penelope, you think, but you trust him and the rest of your team. Turning away from JJ, you fight the urge to peek into Hotch’s open folder as you run your eyes up and down the rows of officers. You recognize Chen and Lopez from this morning, but stop when you see Tim Bradford.
Hotch notices your shoulders stiffen in the split second before you relax, and he taps his elbow against you. You look up at him, and he nods once to reassure you. You’re not alone, and unlike the last time you were in this station, someone else knows the truth of what happened.
“Any questions about the case?” Grey asks. He sighs when someone raises their hand and says, “Yes, Nolan?”
Nolan doesn’t seem concerned with Grey’s lethargy. “What’s the connection between the zoo and the first victim?”
Spencer shifts beside you, and Derek shakes his head in amusement. You can imagine the rambling fighting to get out of Reid, and you smile at Derek rather than laugh.
“I should’ve been clearer. Any questions about our side of the investigation?” Grey amends, and this time the officers stay quiet. “In that case, I’d like to introduce Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner of the FBI, the BAU unit chief, who has brought his team across the country to assist in this case.”
Hotch walks to the front of the room and sets his files on the podium. He fixes an evaluating glare on the officers before him, then nods.
JJ leans toward you and asks, “Remember how intimidating that look used to be?”
“Still makes me stand up a little straighter,” you admit.
“We’re here to help,” Hotch begins. “But that means that we need you to be as committed to solving this case as we are. If you’re not ready for that, you’re free to go.” No one moves, so Hotch says, “Good. Sergeant Grey has briefed me on each of you. You’re good officers, but street smarts and police procedure won’t get this monster off the street.”
“But talking about the suspect’s feelings will?” one of the officers jokes.
Hotch’s eyebrows raise, and his serious look fades into a knowing glare. “You must be Bradford.”
JJ takes your hand, and Derek exhales. They know more about your history in LA than the people in LA do, and you appreciate their friendship and presence.
“Sorry, sir,” Tim replies. “I only meant that there is tangible evidence at these scenes, and it seems to me that concrete proof will help us find this guy faster than dissecting his mind through his habits and words.”
Hotch returns behind the podium and admits, “I understand how our process could seem like a waste of time, and criminal profiling is not an exact science, we’re wrong sometimes, but you know as well as I do that there’s no one right way to solve a crime. The important thing in this situation is to get a killer off the streets before he claims more lives. If our behavioral analysis can assist in that, we’d appreciate your cooperation.”
“I can assure you that you have the LAPD’s complete cooperation,” Sergeant Grey interjects, looking pointedly at Tim. “And anyone unwilling to do so will be removed from this task force.”
Tim crosses his arms across his chest and nods, a position you remember well from your limited days as a rookie. You expected this type of attitude from him and possibly more cops. You truly believe that the BAU can offer insights Tim can’t glean from analyzing a crime scene or going through the processed evidence.
“Do any of you have questions for me or my communications liaison?” Hotch asks.
Several officers ask questions about task force protocol, what your team does, and other run-of-the-mill inquiries about the federal agency and its duties.
“I believe it is time for introductions?” Hotch says, stepping to the side as he welcomes Sergeant Grey back to the front of the room.
“The LAPD has selected fourteen of its best officers-“ He turns away from the room and lowers his voice to tell Hotch, “If you’re against rookies on the team, I’ve got some other officers on standby.”
“If you trust them, they’re welcome to stay.”
Grey nods and turns, then continues, “Officer Lopez, Officer Bishop and her rookie, John Nolan, Officer Janssen…”
You tune out most of the officers’ names, trusting Spencer to fill in any blanks for you, until you hear, “Officer Bradford and his rookie, Lucy Chen.”
You were in Lucy’s position just over seven years ago, and now you’re looking in from the outside. You love your job and appreciate the FBI and the BAU for giving you a home and a rewarding career. Yet, sometimes you’re still plagued by the inevitable wondering, what if?
“Pleasure to meet you all,” Hotch responds. “I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner, behind you is my team: Special Agents Reid, Morgan, Jareau…” Hotch meets your eyes before introducing you, and you watch him rather than Tim, who turns quickly in his chair and stares wide-eyed at you before controlling his expression and returning to his usual composed demeanor.
“How is a literary analyst helpful?” someone questions softly.
“This unit has taken down more serial criminals than you can name,” Wade snaps. “Show a little respect.”
“We’d like to brief you before the media,” Hotch explains. “If it’s possible to reconvene before tomorrow’s patrol begins, of course.”
“Not a problem. I want all of you back in here fifteen minutes before beginning of shift tomorrow,” Wade tells his officers. “Keep the conversation in this room, understood?”
“Yes, sir,” the officers respond as they stand and file out of the door, some whispering together, others leaving quietly and alone.
“I think that went well,” Derek says as Hotch gathers his things.
“Socially speaking, there was a divide and a complete lack of faith in us,” Spencer argues. “Though there is the question of authority and a misunderstanding regarding our purpose and purview.”
“Pretty boy and I are going to go find some coffee.”
As Derek and Spencer leave, and JJ excuses herself to answer a phone call, you’re left alone with your current supervisor and former watch commander.
“It’s good to see you,” Wade says, smiling as he pulls you into a hug.
“You, too,” you respond. “Sorry I haven’t been back as much as I’d like.”
“I understand,” Wade assures. “And it seems that you’ve found your perfect place in the BAU.”
“We like to think so,” Hotch agrees. “Although…”
“Bradford won’t be a problem,” you interrupt.
Hotch tilts his head questioningly, and you add, “He fights back on new things, but he’s a good cop, so he’ll do what’s right in the end.”
Hotch hesitates, then asks, “Do you trust him?”
“With my life.”
“He’s the best I’ve got,” Wade comments. “But if there’s a question about him…”
“He’s Morgan, but more serious,” you tell Hotch. He doesn’t change his stare, so you sigh and promise, “I want him here. There’s no bad blood between us and he’s going to be invaluable in this.”
Hotch nods and looks away from you finally and begins asking Wade about one of the files turned in the night before, which you understand as your cue to leave. After you step out into the bullpen, Derek returns to your side.
“Where’s Spencer?” you ask, looking over his shoulder.
“Telling Officer Chen about the health benefits of doing something boring. How are you?”
“I’m okay. Hotch doesn’t seem to think so.”
Derek gasps and holds your shoulder to exclaim, “You have two overprotective father figures to work for now!”
You consider arguing for less than a second before you realize he’s right. Wade stayed in touch after you left LA. Hotch has never left room for you to wonder how he sees you and his need to protect you. So, you’re working on a case that feels like two different versions of your personality, and parts of your life have combined into one perfect yet terrifying case. And you haven’t even talked to Tim yet.
“I hope our hotel has a hot tub,” you lament.
“Plain clothes day washout number five, huh?” Lucy asks Tim as they patrol Los Angeles.
Tim shakes his head and doesn’t answer. He’s gone seven years without talking about you, only having to relive the heartbreak on your face and the disappointment he felt during his loneliest nights. Tim saw great potential in you, considered you more than a rookie, and taking your badge had affected him in a way he never expected. Now, you’re in the FBI, which is news to him, and you’re working on a case that he hasn’t been able to solve even with ten crime scenes to work with.
“What happened?” Lucy tries.
“None of your business, Chen,” he snaps. “That case, Hotchner’s team, all of it stays in the roll call room for now. Understood?”
“Yes, sir.”
A bell chimes above your head as you enter your favorite Los Angeles diner. It’s your first night in the city, and since you don’t know how long you’ll be here, you wanted to revisit it while you had a chance. When you mentioned the diner, your team gave you their orders to bring to the hotel, where they’re currently reviewing the autopsy reports. It feels wrong to leave them, but you sigh in the comfort of a place that once provided you a refuge after long days.
“Old habits?” you ask as you approach the counter.
Tim looks up from the laminate and watches you. You don’t meet his gaze but look at the menu while you wait for the waitress to return. This was your favorite diner when you started at the LAPD, and Tim has never given himself time to wonder why he kept coming back even after you left.
“Something like that,” he says. “So, uh, the FBI. That’s incredible.”
You shrug. “Not what I wanted, but I love it.”
Tim nods, unsure what else to say. You’re not the girl you were on day one in the academy, not even the girl who left the station in tears after washing out. Tim still sees you, the woman who fought for what was right never gave up, and was smarter than she ever realized. That’s not the person he saw your last week on patrol, but he knew you were still in there somewhere.
“How long have you been with the BAU?” he inquires.
The waitress returns, and you take the excuse to not answer Tim. You retrieve your phone from your pocket and read a large order from the screen, then pass a shiny, FBI-issued credit card over the counter.
“It’ll be a few minutes, hun,” the waitress informs as she returns the card. “Feel free to have a seat.”
You thank her and slide onto a stool, ensuring you leave an empty seat between you and Tim.
“Failing to become a police officer was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced,” you confess. “A few months later, Aaron Hotchner knocked on my door. There was a case nearby, a serial rapist who was leaving personalized love letters with every single victim. He found my résumé on a local job board and came to ask for help because of my background. The rest just fell into place, I guess.”
“You get to carry,” Tim points out, gesturing toward the holster on your hip, concealed from everyone else by your shirt. “They don’t let people who just ‘fall into place’ do that.”
“I did everything by the book, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I’m wondering what changed on plain clothes day,” he responds. “You were on track to be an amazing officer, and then that last week, you just… something changed.”
“I did.”
“There’s more to it.”
“There’s really not,” you insist. “If you don’t want to be on this task force-“
“I do. I wish you could see that you have the potential to lead it.”
“Hotch saved my life. I trust him.” Tim understands the part you don’t say: that you trust him more than yourself.
The waitress returns with two full bags, and you stand as you take them from the counter.
“Goodnight, Tim. I’ll see you at the station tomorrow.”
As you leave, the bell chimes over the door again, and Tim hears your voice in his head, the promise of another chance, but he doesn't miss the fact that you leave every time you see each other.
“What if - and hear me out on this - you just told him the truth,” Derek suggests.
You take a drink from a cheap Styrofoam cup and nod. “You’re right, Derek, why didn’t I think of that?”
“You know, most hotel chains serving breakfast fail to maintain proper culinary heat-“
Hotch raises one finger before Spencer can ruin breakfast for everyone. “Don’t.”
“I agree with Morgan,” JJ says. “There’s clearly questions there, and if you explain what happened, he’ll trust you more.”
“And he can deal with some of the guilt,” Hotch grumbles.
“What guilt?” you inquire, pausing with a cheap metal fork in your hand.
“He clearly blames himself for letting you lose your position,” Hotch explains.
“He knows how good you are, so that final week probably doesn’t make any sense to him,” Derek adds.
“He doesn’t,” you mutter. “He told me last night-“
“You saw him last night?” JJ exclaims.
“I ran into him at the diner.”
“He still goes to your diner?” Derek questions.
“It’s just a diner! But I saw him there and he insisted that there was more to what happened than me changing.”
“And you lied to him?” Hotch responds. “It’s over, you can tell him, you can shout it from the top of the Chinese theater.”
“That would be illegal,” Spencer mumbles.
“And wouldn’t change anything,” you add. “We’re here to work a case, not mend a bridge that has been-“ you scramble for the right word before finishing, “disintegrating for nearly a decade.”
Derek groans as he leans back in his seat, and Hotch finally looks up to say, “If this gets in the way of the case, I’ll have Garcia email him everything he needs to know.”
“I’m cutting holes in all of your quarter-zips tonight,” you threaten in return.
Hotch frowns and mouths, You’ll never find them all.
“Good morning,” Sergeant Grey calls as the door closes behind the twentieth and final member of the task force. “SSA Hotchner is going to fill you all in.”
“Thanks for coming in early,” Hotch begins. “There have been no new developments in the case since yesterday, but my team has created a preliminary profile based on the preexisting evidence and details from the first ten victims.”
Your phone buzzes with an incoming call from Garcia, and you exit the room to answer. “Whatcha got for us, gorgeous?”
“Ooh, does Derek know you’re talking to me like this?” she replies, her keyboard clicking in the background.
“Not like he’s competition,” you say with a playful scoff. “Find anything on the deep dive?”
“Nothing inherently helpful. The prelim suspects are all pretty similar, though one of them did alibi out. Carson Gillery was working remotely from Chicago during the second and third murders. Hotel and airline checks corroborate that.”
“I’ll tell Hotch. Anything else?”
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“Fine. Why?”
She stops typing suddenly and then inhales sharply.
“Garcia?” You ask.
The line beeps as she disconnects, and a phone on the desk closest to you begins ringing. A Virginia area code appears on the caller ID, and you stretch across the desk to pick up the receiver.
“Penelope?” you ask hurriedly.
“He’s in the data!” she explains, typing again. “He’s not doing much, but someone is overriding minor coding and there was another line tied into our call. I could hear him breathing; thought you were crying at first, but now I’m running a backward search to find this psycho.”
“None of the prelim suspects would know how to do that,” you point out.
“Uh oh,” Penelope breathes. “I think… I think he left you a message.”
“What is it?”
“It’s in the seventh victim’s ME report, overwriting the details of the posthumous wounding to the back. It says 2/18/17… It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.”
“Henley,” you murmur, trying to connect the dots as you forget the first half of the message.
“There’s more,” Penelope says. “A copy of your one-way ticket to Virginia with an alternate ID that says, ‘thanks for the perfect opening night.’”
“It’s about me?” you whisper.
“I’m going to trace these messages,” Penelope declares. “You tell Hotch about this, and please, please do not try to investigate this on your own.”
“You got it. But can you send me a scan of page 39, no- 38, from the William Ernest Henley book in my office? I need the annotated copy of Invictus.”
“You got it. Tell Morgan and I said hi and I’m wearing-“
You hang up and take a deep breath as you return the receiver to the cradle.
“Agent Hotchner,” you call as you return. “I need a word.”
“Let me finish-“
“There’s been a development,” you interrupt. “An urgent one.”
Hotch sees the look in your eyes and calls Spencer to the front of the room to continue reviewing the patterns in the killings and to discuss the psychological traits and drivers they suspect the killer will have. Derek watches as Hotch and Grey follow you out of the roll call room. Meanwhile, JJ watches Officer Tim Bradford as he manages to conceal his concern but not his interest as he watches you through the glass walls.
“Garcia called with information on the prelim suspects,” you explain. “Someone tapped into the call, and then… whoever it was started manipulating her date on the FBI server. She did say that Carson Gillery alibied out, he was out of state for several of the murders, but whoever this guy is, he is incredibly close to this case.”
“Manipulated the data how?” Hotch asks.
You wring your fingers together as you answer, “He left a message. Garcia thinks it was for me.”
“Left it where?” Grey inquires.
“The seventh victim Mel Houghton’s autopsy report. It was a date and a line from a William Ernest Henley poem.”
“The date?” Hotch presses.
You inhale deeply before saying, “February 18, 2017.”
“The day you lost your position in the LAPD,” Grey remembers. “What does it mean?”
You look toward Hotch, and he shakes his head twice. There isn’t an obvious answer to Grey’s question, but the implication that this case has something to do with you isn’t good.
“He… he also had a picture of my plane ticket to Virginia and added a note, something about ‘thanks for the opening night,’” you add. “Hotch, if you have to take me off this case-“
“We need you,” he interjects. “The literary aspect of this case is progressing.”
“Does that mean we could limit our suspect search?” Wade asks, looking between you and Hotch.
“Not likely,” you reply with a sigh. “Plenty of literature enjoyers can’t be located purely based on that. There’s no evidence he’s educated or active in book clubs, debates, anything.”
“Garcia’s tracing the data changes?” Hotch assumes.
“Yes, sir.”
“Then we work what we can until she gets back to us.”
“I need to see the novellas left with the victims,” you request. Hotch begins to speak, and you add, “Not the scans, the actual, physical stories left with their bodies.”
“I’ll get someone to go through the evidence with you,” Wade assures. “Any preference?”
You look into the roll call room through the glass sheeting, your eyes drifting past Tim as you decide, “Officer Chen, please.”
Wade nods once, then returns to the podium inside as Spencer concludes his comments on the psychology of the killer’s modus operandi.
“What are you expecting to find?” Hotch asks you.
“I really wish I knew,” you answer softly. “Hotch, what if this is all my fault?”
“The delusions of a killer have nothing to do with you. If something you did as an officer triggered him to start, there is no reason to assume he wouldn’t have started later. He’s clearly reality-challenged, living in a space between this world and the events of his imagination, and that is not on you.”
You nod, rubbing your forehead as you think. “Literature is clearly important to him. If it comes to it, will you let me go with JJ to a press conference?”
Hotch hesitates, and you know he doesn’t like the idea of putting his team in public view, unless absolutely necessary, but he says, “Fine. Only if it gets that far.”
“Hotch? February 2017 had massive storms. Urban flooding, mudslides, wind, snowfall, there was mayhem that week. I mean, a police chase with a DUI driver, a car fell into a sinkhole. I used some of those cases to…” You trail off, remembering all of the things you did wrong.
“Talk to me,” Hotch encourages.
“Any one of the people who had contact with the LAPD that weekend could have been pushed over the edge. He could have been killing for seven years, since whatever happened, but just got bold and brazen enough to make it public.”
Hotch leaves your side for a moment to wave Spencer out. When he joins you and Hotch in the bullpen, Hotch gestures for you to explain your theory.
“I suppose,” Spencer muses. “The killings have progressed minimally since the first victim three months ago. It does point toward a more practiced unsub, someone who has, in their mind, perfected their method. Yes, it’s completely possible.”
“The books,” Hotch points out. “Those are new. Unsolved cases with novellas or poems shoved down victims’ throats would have caught someone’s attention by now.”
“Serial killers gain experience with each new offense,” Spencer explains. “The learning curve is steep because of the logistics it takes to commit a murder. If he’s been killing without being caught, the thrill of killing would empower him to take more chances. In this case, the trophy aspect of his MO could easily have changed, but his idiosyncratic psychological needs remain the same.”
“We don’t have enough people to comb through seven years of cold cases to find similar killings,” you lament.
“We do have the media,” JJ interjects, sliding her phone into her pocket as she approaches. “It’s a long shot, but if we could find one or two, would it be enough to complete a profile?”
“An estimate of how long he’s been at this, with Garcia’s trace and the analysis of the literature at the scene… Yes, we could establish a firm MO and improve the unsub’s psychological profile.”
“Hold on,” Derek urges into his phone as he joins the rest of your team. He looks at you and says, “Give me your phone.”
You pass it to him, and he flips it in his free hand as he listens. He gives you an apologetic look and then drops it.
“Morgan!” Hotch exclaims as Derek brings the heel of his boot down on your phone screen.
“Unless Penelope told you to do that, I’m going to be very mad,” you say.
“Alright, baby girl, tell us all,” Derek requests as he puts his phone on speaker.
“I found our guy, or his IP address at least,” Penelope says.
“And?” Hotch asks. “Where is he?”
“That’s the thing. He’s in an apartment a few miles from the station.”
You recite your previous address and Penelope murmurs, “That’s the one.”
Penelope explains how she traced his data trail before you interrupt to ask, “Is there anything about another cop in it?”
“Uh, there were some numbers,” she answers.
“34381?” you guess. “And 6147?”
“Amongst others, yeah. Do they mean something to you?”
“One is Officer Bradford’s badge number. The other is Sergeant Kenneth Adamson.”
“I’ll run the rest of the numbers against the LAPD database and get back to you.”
“Are all of our phones in need of stomping?” Spencer asks before Penelope hangs up.
“Not yet,” she replies, and then the line clicks.
“Running everything is going to take too long,” you complain. “He’s probably already targeted his next victim. He could be writing the novella for all we know!”
“His system is organized,” Spencer explains. “We can use that. The past victims have been a week or more apart. Even if he does change his timeline because we’re here, he needs time to plan, write, correct?”
“Yes,” you answer. “He could do it overnight if the circumstances called for it.”
“Assuming he’ll take a break between kills, however…”
“We have two days,” Derek concludes. “Let’s hope he’s not too organized, doc.”
“He’s a criminal,” JJ says. “They all get stupid and forgetful.”
“We don’t change anything. He’s changing the rules, pushing himself, but we’re not playing his game,” Hotch says. “And, for the moment, we keep the LAPD connection to ourselves.”
“What if they could help?” JJ argues.
“No.”
“Act like we have a week, and he won’t expect us to be ready to go,” you say. “In that case, I’ll start analyzing the literature.”
“Speaking of which.” JJ pulls a paper from her bag and says, “The homicide detective said CSI found this on a secondary scene analysis.”
You read the scan of the evidence, and your eyes widen as you look up at Derek. “Good thing you came with. He’s building a bomb.”
“Whoa,” Derek says with little intonation in his voice, but his hands raise as he moves his head in surprise. “Explain the progression from writing stories to bombs.”
“Postmodern literature is the most recent literary movement that contains vulgarity in diction and violence. It’s often used as an authentic portrayal of humanity, depicting violence against gender, race, and the human body,” Spencer answers. “Epic poetry was one of the first storytelling forms to depict interpersonal violence.”
Derek rolls his eyes at Spencer’s reply to the rhetorical question, and you add, “The Victorian literary period was marked by violence through the use of suffering and physical dangers as literary themes. The gothic genre aestheticized the darker elements of human life, explored sexual violence, dramatic monologues, and realistic violence like robbery, beheadings, even serial murders.”
“Which affects us how?” Hotch inquires.
“William Ernest Henley was a prominent figure in the later years of the Victorian movement. He sent lines from Invictus to Garcia, and that piece has been the poem of choice for extremists and terrorists to justify their violence in the last few years. There is some hardship beyond our killer’s control, and this is how he’s dealing with it.”
“Still doubting your hypothesis?” Hotch deadpans.
“Wouldn’t he have to stop all of the suffering somehow?” JJ asks.
“Yes. But he hasn’t decided on an endgame yet, we’ll see the signs of that when it comes. The beginning of a plan for a bomb isn’t concerning yet. For now, we continue as planned, but he will likely strike again in 24 to 48 hours.”
“They’re getting concerned,” Derek whispers, waving toward the roll call room.
“I’ll handle them. You have your assignments,” Hotch states. “We reconvene tonight after end of shift.”
“Yes, sir,” you agree with the rest of your team.
As you return to the roll call room between JJ and Derek, you keep your eyes on the front of the room, ignoring how Tim turns to look at you. Hotch gives an acceptable excuse for your team’s private meeting and then provides tasks with Sergeant Wade.
“What about me?” Lucy asks as the other officers exit into the bullpen.
“You’re with me,” you reply, stepping toward her as you smile. “If that’s okay.”
“Yes!” Lucy cheers. She clears her throat and amends, “Yes, of course, I’d love to help.”
“Keep me updated,” Hotch tells you.
“Yes, sir. Oh, and…” You move your fingers in a scissor motion to remind him of your previous threat before concluding, “Spencer has the information you asked for.”
Hotch nods once, and Wade smiles. Suddenly, you’re hit with the feeling of being torn apart, stuck between the life you wanted and the one you have. When the case is solved and the killer is behind bars, you’ll have to leave these people again. At least you’ve finally remembered that planes travel both ways.
“Ten victims,” you say as you pin the last picture to the bulletin board in the office you and Lucy have set up. “Six novellas, a book, two pamphlets, and a bloody poem.”
Lucy’s eyes follow the red thread connecting the victims to their evidence and the order of the killings as you stare at the T.S. Eliot poem from the fifth scene with your hands on your hips.
Plus, a William Ernest Henley poem meant to bring me into the killer’s world, you think.
“Ready?” you ask Lucy.
“Yes, ma’am.”
You laugh and invite her to use your first name, then spread the evidence pictures from the first murder on the metal desk. It isn’t the same as reviewing the physical books and poems, the thick paper holding the twisted ideas of a serial killer left warm from the printer beside the lives he claimed for the sake of his own story. It’s the best you can do for now.
“Janice Davis, our first victim. The killer stapled a San Diego Zoo pamphlet to her chest.” You flip through the case file and add, “Antemortem. Ouch.”
“That looks like a building staple,” Lucy muses, leaning over the picture.
“It is. Your forensics lab determined it’s a Powernail galvanized seven-eighths inch crown staple. Intended purpose is woodworking and flooring, and one side of the staple extends out at an angle, so even if she was conscious long enough to try removing it… well, it would’ve hurt more to take it out.”
“What was the cause of death?”
“Unknown,” you read, furrowing your brows. “Manner of death: homicide. But it looks like they couldn’t determine the cause. Any chance ME Daniella Smith is still around?”
“I don’t know,” Lucy confesses. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. Sorry, you’re good at this, I keep forgetting you’re a rookie.”
“That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever told me.”
You smile, then return to the evidence before you. “The next victim, Gregory Hunter, was found with a copy of Orwell’s Animal Farm open beneath his head. The page, as far as I can tell, is irrelevant.”
“Then what’s the point of leaving it there?”
“Hunter was Davis’s boss, and apparently they had been involved a few years prior to working together. Animal Farm presents Orwell’s ideas on power, equality, socialism and corruption.”
“All things the San Diego Zoo has been accused of abusing throughout history,” Lucy adds. “Along with the animals.”
“Precisely. Then it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume that our killer was wronged by a failing class structure, abuse of power and control, inequality, or socialism.”
“That’s a lot of options.”
“Which is why we keep looking. Victim number three had a personalized novella…”
“The method of killing has been consistent with every victim. They’re injured, kept alive for three to twelve hours, and then killed. Janice Davis, victim one, was ruled as undetermined cause of death, but there was no evidence of blunt force trauma, gunshot wounds or poisoning, which we’d expect based on the sudden killings of the others,” Spencer explains.
“You can tune him out,” Derek whispers. “When his voice drops an octave, he’s about to ask a question.”
Tim nods, but he wasn’t listening to begin with. His mind keeps drifting to thoughts of you. He watched you talk to your team, has worked with you, and knows the depth of your talent and potential. Yet he continues to wonder how you truly came to work at such an elite division in the FBI and what you’re hiding.
“Do any of you have experience with crime scene investigation?” Spencer asks.
Several officers raise their hands, including Angela. Tim has guarded scenes and looked around on his own time, but he isn’t sure when his unique skills will be required for this case.
“Morgan,” Hotch calls from the doorway. “Take an officer to gather the literary evidence. Someone with a station ID has to sign it out for us.” He looks towards the front of the room and sighs. “And tell Spencer to wrap it up.”
“Doctor Morgan,” Derek calls as he stands. “Perhaps we should move on to the evidence snapshots and physical profile?”
Spencer nods and shifts his attention to the tools and proposed appearance of the killer.
“I’ve got a station ID,” Tim tells Derek. “If you need that evidence now.”
Derek sighs but waves for Tim to join him. He remains quiet while they walk to the evidence lockers, largely because he’s evaluating Tim. Derek knows about your time in Los Angeles, and even if he did encourage you to talk to Tim, he isn’t sure if Tim deserves your time.
“You were military?” Derek asks as they wait for the evidence to be thoroughly signed out and accounted for.
“Army,” Tim responds. “FBI always the goal for you?”
“Oh, nah, I started as a cop up in Chicago. Things just happened.”
“Seems to be a lot of that,” Tim murmurs, remembering your ‘fell into place’ excuse.
“Why be a TO?”
Tim shrugs. He’s never had a good answer for that question, and if he starts thinking, he might get caught up on his fifth washout.
“Special Agent Morgan,” the evidence officer says as he places a large box on the ledge. “Your supervisor has to sign this form upon evidence return.”
“Got it. Thank you.”
Derek picks up the box and steps back, but the officer places another box behind it. Tim takes it without a word and follows Derek to an office with a closed door.
He taps his foot against the door and calls, “Open up, pretty girl, these muscles are just for show!”
You smile as you open the door, and Tim clenches his jaw at the realization that Derek Morgan just called you ‘pretty girl.’
“I fear you’ve mistaken me for Penelope,” you tell him as you hold the door. “Thank you so much.”
Tim nods as he places the box down, and then looks at the case board.
“Oh, Tim,” Lucy says. “Do you know if ME Daniella Smith is still working?”
“She retired,” Tim replies.
You drop your shoulders and nod. “Thanks.”
“I can get her address and phone number, though,” he offers, partially to help and partially because he hates how disappointed you look.
“That would be amazing!” you reply happily. “Lucy, feel free to go with him, move around for a few minutes.”
Lucy follows Tim, and you close the door to talk to Derek. You explain that the literature points toward class structure, abuse of power, or socialism.
“Maybe he should move to Canada instead of killing then,” Derek muses. “Have you told Hotch?”
“Not yet. There’s also the string of violence in the literature. At first, it was metaphorical violence, a symbolic representation of the dangers of power in society, but it’s gotten more blatant, more Victorian in its realism.”
“The novellas?” he guesses.
“I haven’t gotten to read them in their entirety yet, I’ll start that now, but I’d guess he’s outlining his preferred method of violence as well as the reason.”
“Think it will shed some light on the explosives schematics? Which, by the way, are pretty weak. A bomb like that would be hard pressed to flip a Prius, it wouldn’t do major damage unless it was an incredibly confined space.”
“Ask Spencer what he thinks about the space,” you suggest. “The killings have been in relatively open spaces, but he’d know better than me if it means anything.”
“I’ll run it by him if I can get a word in.”
You laugh at Derek’s joke, but he turns serious again to ask, “Are you okay? I know this can’t be easy for you, working a case here after seven years.”
“I’m okay,” you promise. “I’ll let you know if that changes and I need a Morgan hug.”
Derek smiles as he opens the door, and Tim and Lucy return soon after.
“She lives three miles from here and said she’d talk to you,” Lucy relays.
“Let me tell my team.”
Tim raises a hand to stop you as you gather your things and repeats, “She said she’d talk to you. She recognized your name.”
“Oh.” Hotch walks by the door, and you step out quickly to explain, “I found the ME who couldn’t determine Janice Davis’s cause of death. She’s retired, but lives nearby and agreed to talk to me, but only me.”
Hotch weighs his options, but when he sees Tim behind you, he suggests, “Then you should probably take your TO.”
Your eyes widen in shock, but you trust Hotch, so you nod and step back into the office.
“You don’t have to,” you begin as Tim asks, “Ready?”
You fail to find the right words for several moments, then say, “Lucy, do you want to help Agent Morgan review crime scenes for construction and security?”
“Sure! Let me know if you need more help with this stuff when you get back,” she responds. “Good luck!”
“Thanks,” you say, though you think I’ll need it.
“Do you want to drive or should I?” Tim asks once you’re alone.
You lift keys from your pocket and say, “I will. Do you think Smith will be any help?”
“We can hope.”
“Can I address the elephant in the room?” Sergeant Grey asks.
“Be my guest,” Hotch answers, not looking up from his improved profile.
“Bradford isn’t operating at his usual level.”
“She is.”
“Which is why I think there may be more to his side of the story.”
Hotch looks up to propose, “You think he had something to do with Adamson’s misconduct?”
“No,” Wade assures, “nothing like that. But two days of fire-able offenses and not a single correction from her TO? Bradford either didn’t care that she gave up or, for some reason, he wasn’t in a position to.”
“The corruption we found ran deep. There’s a chance he was hoping to get a piece of the takeaway… or he was in a similar position to her.” Hotch reaches for his phone quickly after he speaks and raises it to his ear. “Garcia, I need you to run the badge numbers again. Tell me how many of them had a direct connection to Keith Adamson.”
“One second,” Penelope requests. “Software’s running it now. Oh, the medical examiner, Smith, she resigned less than an hour after the charges against Adamson came in. Thought that was interesting.”
“That’s one connection.”
“Okay, yep, all ten of the badge numbers embedded in the coding have connections to Adamson. Seven subordinates, his captain, and two IA investigators.”
“Thanks, Garcia.” Hotch ends the call and tells Wade, “Whatever Adamson did, it wasn’t just skimming the evidence pile, it pushed our killer over the edge.”
“I remember Janice Davis,” Daniella Smith says as she passes you a mug of hot tea. “She was young, twenty-six, I believe, and had a construction staple in her sternum.”
“Your official report listed the cause of death as indiscernible,” you reply, wrapping your hands around the mug as your thigh presses against Tim’s on the small settee. “Do you remember if you may have had any hypotheses?”
Daniella sighs as she lowers into a chair across from you. “It was asphyxiation. Her mouth was sealed with superglue, and she couldn't get enough air after a few hours of lying horizontally.”
Tim looks at you before demanding, “Why didn’t you put that in the report?”
“I was scared.”
“And you think the people living here weren’t?”
“Tim,” you whisper harshly. You shake your head as Daniella shrinks in her seat. “Why were you scared, Ms. Harris?” She shakes slightly, and you give her a moment to breathe before you ask, “Did someone at the police station ask you to lie?”
She laughs once, a sad sound before she wipes her nose and corrects, “He threatened me if I didn’t.”
“Who?” Tim asks.
“Sergeant Keith Adamson. He was the watch commander at the time. My career, my life, my marriage, he threatened to ruin it all if I didn’t cover up how she was killed.”
“Was there residue?” you inquire. “From the superglue?”
“There were trace amounts, and the lab was able to identify it easily.”
“It was the only death to be covered up, why do you think that is?”
Daniella looks up quickly, her eyes wide as she states, “Because it was an experiment. The others were killed more conventional, faster: a slit throat, hammer to the temple. Her death would have taken time.”
“Was the time of death in your report accurate?” you ask. “Because it was around the same time as the others even with the changed MO.”
“It was,” she explains, “he must have taken her earlier to get a head start.”
“You said it was an experiment,” Tim repeats. “She was victim number one. If it didn’t go well, wouldn’t the others have just been an improved, or changed, MO?”
Daniella frowns, and you lean forward to ask, “How many more were there?”
Tim slams the passenger door as you return to the car. Daniella disappears from the front window, crying as you start the engine.
“The FBI will charge me if this car gets damaged,” you mumble as you shift into reverse.
“Thirty deaths that she knows of!” Tim exclaims. “How could she cover all of those up?”
“Pretty easily. Self-preservation is a powerful motivator.”
“This monster has been at it for years. You were probably on the job for some of his murders, how can you say that?”
“It’s not my place to judge everyone involved in this case, Tim. Not yours either.”
Tim scoffs, but he’s interrupted by your phone ringing. You answer by saying your last name and Hotch’s voice fills the car as he speaks.
“There’s been another murder,” he says. You slap the steering wheel before he continues, “A double murder. I’m sending you the address. Drop Bradford at the station and meet us there.”
“Yes, sir.”
After the call ends, you grit your teeth to keep yourself from yelling. You spent too much time with the retired ME, and two more people are dead now.
“I’m going with you,” Tim states.
“No, you’re not. You heard him, you’re going back to the station.”
“You need me-“
“Actually, we don’t. We have jurisdiction now, Tim,” you snap.
“Do they know about everything you did your last week on the job?” Tim challenges. “How you ignored calls, put yourself, and me, in danger just to let the clearly guilty criminals go? I mean, you let a guy get away with assault and your handcuffs!”
You don’t reply because your mind begins racing. You had forgotten about that specific incident. Your last two days on the job were a blur, just forty-eight hours you have done everything you could to forget.
“Alexander Riley,” you murmur.
“What?” Tim snaps.
“Nothing, Tim. I’m sorry you’re not happy, but you don’t have authorization to join me, and I’m done breaking the rules.”
“Convenient.”
You hit the brakes too hard as you stop outside the back entrance of the station. Tim slams the door again before he walks inside, and you shift into park to call Derek.
“Are you still at the station?” you ask when he answers.
“We’re about to leave,” he replies. “Did you beat us to the scene? You know speed limits still apply to federal agents, right?”
“No, I’m at the station too. I need you to - without raising suspicion - get Hotch and Sergeant Grey out here.”
“Okay,” he agrees slowly. “Why?”
“Because I think I know who the killer is. Bring the novella from the ninth scene, it’s Heralded Angels.”
“You got it.”
You can hear the strain in Derek’s voice, but there’s too much on your mind to dwell on his reaction right now. After Hotch, JJ, Derek, and Spencer join you in the FBI-issued SUV, you follow Sergeant Grey, driving an unmarked car, to the double murder scene.
“You had something for me?” Grey asks as you approach the townhouse.
“I do. Trust me for a few more minutes and I’ll tell you everything?”
Wade nods, and you enter the bloody living room with your team. JJ waits outside, and as you squat beside a bookcase covered in blood splatter, you know you’re right.
“Alexander Riley,” you announce, pushing against your knees to stand. “I think he’s our killer.”
“Why?” Spencer asks. “Wait, who?”
“Alexander Riley is one of the men I should have arrested my last week as a rookie.” You look toward Wade as you continue, “He assaulted a store owner while looting during a flood, and I let him get away. He ran away with my handcuffs, but I didn’t try to stop him because I was sure Sergeant Adamson would have used it against me.”
“Abuse of power,” Hotch deduces.
“Right, and class system. You know, cop doesn’t do what cop is supposed to do. So, he may have taken his escape as a sign that something needed to change.”
“Based on his killings, I’d agree that he saw a wrong that needed to be fixed, but why murder?” Wade asks. “How does that fit his idea of making things right, evening everything?”
“He chose victims he viewed as outliers,” Spencer explains. “The first two victims were romantically involved, and then she got a job in his company.”
“The fifth victim was a single man with adopted children, and he left a copy of T.S. Eliot’s ‘The Hollow Men,’” you add. “He went after people who didn’t fit into our traditional class system or who benefitted from misused power. And, if that isn’t enough… there’s an extra novella in here.”
“What?” Hotch and Wade say, stepping toward you simultaneously.
“It’s a little bloody, but the words cop, dirty, and corrected system are showing up pretty well. My name’s on the first page, and I’d guess it’s on the last, too.”
“He’s going to target you?” Derek translates. “That’s not okay.”
“We need to find him first,” you reply. “He’s not going to press pause until he can get to me, he thinks he has to fix the entire world.”
“I’ll get a BOLO out,” Wade offers.
“Wait, Sergeant Grey,” Hotch calls. “I think this should come from us.” He turns toward you and adds, “It would mean more from you.”
“I’ll do it. Although, some of those cops aren’t going to like hearing that I had something to do with it.”
“Just send ‘em my way,” Derek jokes.
“Our profile is complete,” you begin, looking at the entire task force. “And we’ve used that profile, along with scene evidence, literary analysis, and previous arrest records to identify Alexander Riley as our killer. Sergeant Grey has posted a BOLO, and we’d like to send you out in patrol teams to assist in the search for Riley.”
Tim has his folder open, and you’re sure he’s reading the incident report filed after you let Riley get away.
“Maybe you should get out there and find him instead of sitting in our station and reading,” he snarks, closing his folder.
“Bradford,” Wade begins.
“No, it’s okay,” you assure. “I will be assisting in the search, and I will admit that my incompetence likely played a role in Mr. Riley’s progression from petty thief to serial killer. However, we have reason to believe he was killing in private long before he felt the need to leave his victims in plain view for Los Angeles and all of America to see.”
“Officer Bradford, he listed you by name in the novella left at Liza Renner’s murder,” Hotch interjects. “Do you know why he may have done that?”
“No idea. Sir.”
“I’d appreciate if you would stay and help review the story to find an idea, then.”
You look between Hotch and Tim quickly, but their icy stares make you look away before you continue explaining what the manhunt entails and how the FBI will assist.
“Be safe out there,” you conclude.
As officers stand and leave, Hotch and Wade walk to Tim’s side, and then all three of them exit through a different exit.
“That was fun,” you mumble to Derek.
“On the bright side, no one has been publicly executed in the US since 1936, so it’s unlikely you’ll be burned at the stake,” Spencer says.
“That is bright,” you respond. “Thanks, Reid.”
An officer asks for your assistance and leads you to an observation room. Your eyes widen when you realize Tim and Hotch are on the other side of the glass in an interview room. Rushing into the room, you’re surprised when Hotch invites you to take a seat. As the door closes, Tim clenches his fists and begins to stand.
“Sit down,” Hotch demands, unmoving as Tim rises from his chair. Tim turns, face-to-face with Hotch. “Sit down,” Hotch repeats, quieter yet firmer.
Tim falls back into his seat and crosses his arms to stare at you.
“You can blame me if you want,” you offer. “But it won’t change anything. Twelve people are dead because of me.”
“Then why is my rookie still patrolling the streets of LA looking for the man your team decided did this? Hotch here covering for you again?” Tim challenges.
“Shut up,” Hotch says as he sits beside you, across the Table from Tim.
“Kenneth Adamson,” you say. “Do you have any idea of what he did?”
“Fired you for taking the easy way out when you decided you didn’t want to be a cop anymore?”
“Intimidated me,” you reply. “Got indicted for it, but it was never made public knowledge because ‘he was facing enough personal and professional issues for the widespread results of his corruption.’ Good excuse, right? Tim, I happened to be the person who put cuffs on Alexander Riley and allowed his delusion to take over. I didn’t mean to turn him into a serial killer, but I still feel like I have blood on my hands.”
“Wait,” Tim requests, raising his hand. “Adamson intimidated you?”
“Yes.”
“You could have told me.”
You scoff, and Hotch raises his brows. “Like you would have believed me,” you reply.
Tim leans across the table, ignoring how Hotch moves closer to you, protective and ready to finish this case.
“He intimidated me too,” Tim confesses. “We should have told each other, but we messed up, and I’m sorry for that. Adamson was going to tell IA about something I did in the Army and twist it to get me fired if I didn’t find a way to get you off the force. Then you suddenly stopped trying and I thought… I guess I didn’t think about it, or I would’ve seen it.”
You look at Hotch, who shrugs. There likely isn’t proof that Adamson did to Tim what he did to you, but you have to make a choice. You can believe Tim Bradford or walk away.
“I caught him stealing evidence,” you say. “Skimming money from scenes before CSI got there, pulling jewelry from robbed houses, little things he didn’t think anyone would miss. When I saw him outright lie to a victim who only wanted her late mother’s locket back, I said something. And he was going to make my life a waking hell for it. So, I did what he asked and threw away my career.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want your apologies, Tim. I want you to help me find Alexander Riley and put cuffs on him before he goes after another innocent person, because there is nothing to stop him from progressing to killing cops he sees as corrupt. We kept it from the other officers because of that, so please don’t make me regret trusting you.”
Tim nods and murmurs another apology. You read his lips as he says it, and when Hotch stands, you’re prepared to accept it.
“One more out of line comment and you’re off this task force, Officer Bradford,” Hotch says as he buttons his blazer.
“Yes, sir. I’ll do everything I can to assist you.”
“Do you know why Riley would have used your name as a cursed wanderer in Liza Renner’s novella?” you ask, standing beside Hotch.
“Cursed wanderer?” Tim repeats.
“Remorseful, unabsolved character tormented by their fate and their actions.”
“He must not remember you well,” Hotch tells Tim.
“He’s not a very good writer,” Spencer mutters as he flips the page of one of Alexander Riley’s novellas.
“Maybe we should find a way to charge him for that too,” Derek grumbles. “I mean, ‘Tim Bradford carried the weight of his sins, heavier than the Kevlar on his chest. Each day he was forced to face the memories of how he’d failed his partner, the only woman he may ever love, but would never deserve.’ That’s awful.”
You and Tim turn to face each other quickly, each wondering if you heard what Derek read correctly.
“Derek, does that- when you read it, does it seem like he’s saying his partner is the only woman he’d ever love? Same person?” you ask.
“Yeah. You.”
“That’s what I got too,” JJ agrees. “There’s characters in the third novella that look exactly like the two of you, but they’re married. Doomed by the narrative to watch each other die, but…”
“Are there characters like that in all of them?” Hotch asks.
The sound of papers flipping precedes several firm answers of “Yes.”
“They always die?” you add. “But he doesn’t know. He sees a relationship that isn’t there.”
Tim doesn’t say anything, but you ignore him as you ask JJ to use her laptop. After signing in to your email, you pull up the scans Penelope sent you from the books in your office.
“In the clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeoning of chance my head is bloody, but unbowed,” you read. “Black as the pit from pole to pole.”
“Are you gonna explain it or is this like Jeopardy?” Derek questions.
“He doesn’t portray our characters as corrupt,” you cheer. “We’re unfortunate, ‘doomed by the narrative’ players in a bigger game. I need the newest novella, the extra one from the double homicide scene.”
Wade knocks on the open door as you look through the evidence boxes on the table. He glances between you and Bradford before he asks, “Have any of you heard from Lopez and West?”
“They’re revisiting the last scene,” Hotch says. “They haven’t checked in?”
“Not recently.”
Tim looks at you, and when you meet his eyes, he offers, “We’ll find them.”
“Be careful,” Wade implores. “And keep me updated.”
“Can you do me a favor?” you ask.
“Anything,” JJ and Derek answer together.
“Look for any sign of restoration or avenging. It’ll probably be in the first novella, but I need to know if my character in his story is avenged somehow.”
“Revenge is a psychological response to wounds from others,” Spencer says. “Why would he be motivated to retaliate and justify this level of violence for you, if you’re the one who did wrong?”
“I think he may have changed his motives after Keith Adamson was indicted. If you find something, let me know, if not, Hotch probably has a better idea.”
You follow Tim to an unmarked car and ride in the passenger seat like you’ve pressed play after seven long years of having this part of your life on pause. Somehow, it feels better than before.
Tim's radio crackles as he makes the last turn to reach the crime scene.
“07-Adam-07,” Angela radios. “Sergeant Bradford, contact on channel 3.”
Tim changes the dial to channel 5 as he slows on the curb. You point to the dial, and he raises a thumb to tell you it wasn’t an accident.
“07-Adam-19,” he replies. “Go ahead, Lopez.”
“I think we found something that might be helpful to the detectives. Meet me at the scene and see if you agree?”
“I was already on the way. To tell you the truth, I don’t trust the feds. ETA two minutes.”
Tim returns his radio to the dash and then sits back to wait.
“Don’t trust the feds, huh?” you ask, smiling as he rolls his eyes.
“You really think he realized we were just as aggrieved as him?” Tim asks.
“Big word,” you murmur before dodging Tim’s weak backhand. “Why else would he keep us in the grand story he’s trying to write?”
“You said your character died in the new one.”
“All I saw was my name. I made an assumption without enough evidence. It was stupid.”
“Welcome to the club.”
Your phone buzzes, and you shake your head as you read the message from Penelope. “FBI tech guru Garcia hacked into the house’s security system. She’s got cameras inside. Riley has Lopez and West holed up in the master bathroom. My team and your watch commander are watching, ready to breach if this doesn’t go well.”
“You think it will?”
“I think Derek is going to be very mad after I do something reckless. That’s how it usually goes.”
Tim clears his throat awkwardly, then asks, “Are you and Morgan…?”
“No,” you answer with a laugh. “He’s just one of the many protective men I work with.”
“It’s been a minute and a half,” Tim says, changing the subject and breathing a little easier. “Are you ready?”
“I hope so.”
You exit the passenger seat as Tim pops the trunk. He passes you an LAPD bulletproof vest and a standard-issue belt to help you look more like a cop and less like a fed. After pulling the vest over your head, you struggle to get the belt in place beneath it. Tim gently takes it from you, his hands moving carefully around your waist as he clips the tactical buckle and slides the gun holster to its correct position.
“Thanks,” you whisper as he straightens, mere inches from you.
Tim drops his hands away from your sides but doesn’t move away. “Channel 3 is Lopez’s code,” he explains. “She only uses it when something’s wrong.”
Your phone buzzes again, and you turn away from Tim to answer it. “Hello?”
“Riley is armed,” Hotch says. “He’s got Lopez and West in the master bedroom on the ground floor. They’re uninjured, but he’s fidgety.”
“Did Derek ask Spencer about the bomb?”
“He did,” Spencer replies. Hotch’s phone is likely on speaker, and you turn your phone to allow Tim to hear too. “The bomb schematics were for a very closed-in space… like the townhouse you’re about to go into. It’s not incredibly enclosed, but given that Riley has issues with control, it could be a manifestation of claustrophobia. If his anxiety has caused a fear of enclosed spaces, based on the fear of losing control in those spaces, then he may be attempting to overcome that by giving himself power in the situation.”
“Could he be a cleithrophobe?” Tim wonders.
“What is that?” Derek asks, and you can imagine him looking around Wade’s office.
“I haven’t seen evidence of it,” Spencer answers. “He doesn’t seem to mind being closed in; the murders in the townhouse didn’t seem to affect him, but he is clearly concerned with power, control, and the hierarchy of those. It relates more to claustrophobia. Though I wouldn’t advise locking any doors to test it.”
You hang up suddenly and gesture to the townhouse. Tim looks up in time to see the curtain in an upstairs room fall back into place. He takes the lead, walking to the door with purpose and his hand on his gun. You follow him and look around the front porch for any sign that Riley is planning to kill anyone today.
Tim pushes the door open carefully, nodding to tell you it is unlocked before Angela calls his name. The novella with your name in it is still by the bookcase, and you remove it from the evidence bag and slide it under your vest. You trade places with Tim, going up the stairs first as he covers you. At the top of the landing, Alexander Riley steps out into the hallway with a gun strapped around his shoulders.
“You made it,” he says.
“We’re here to help, Riley,” you explain softly, holding your hands where he can see them. “You know that.”
He nods before jerking his head toward the doorway. You walk past him and stop in the center of the bedroom, scanning Angela and Jackson for any wounds. Luckily, they appear to be fine other than the handcuffs secured around their wrists.
“What’s the plan here?” Tim asks. “Not much room for error, Mr. Riley.”
“Give me your gun,” Alexander replies, holding his rifle with one hand as he extends the other toward Tim.
Tim complies, but his glance at you is a clear communication to not surrender your FBI-issued piece.
“Against the wall,” Alexander tells Tim. “You’re right, there isn’t room for error. But I’m prepared. I’ve been preparing since I lost everything.”
Tim sits against the wall, less than a foot from Angela. Alexander turns toward you, and his gaze softens. You were right, it seems. Alexander Riley has a soft spot for you; he thinks you’re like him, wronged by corruption and abused power, and you’re going to work that soft spot until he’s in cuffs.
“Take your vest off,” he requests. “Please.”
You don’t move but look pointedly at his gun before raising your eyes to his face.
“I won’t hurt you.”
Despite your instinct to refuse, to call in the cavalry and help Tim incapacitate the killer before you, there is too much at stake, and the longer you’re compliant, the longer Riley will keep everyone alive. So, you pull the vest over your head, not bothering to catch the novella as it falls to the floor, the blood on the cover contrasting the neutral carpet below your feet.
Back at the station, Hotch clenches his jaw as you open yourself to Riley, and Derek says, “Don’t do it… I might kill her for that.”
“You wrote it, right?” you ask, gesturing toward the stapled manuscript. “You wrote all of them.”
Riley fidgets, then nods.
You step toward him, keeping your expression soft and conveying understanding as you add, “I read some of them. They’re good, Alex. Can I call you Alex, or do you go by something else?”
“Alex is fine,” he replies, whispering your name under his breath like a prayer.
Tim shifts as Alexander’s attention changes slightly, morphing from a fierce protector into someone who wants to be by your side after you’ve been saved. You don’t spare a glance toward Tim, and for a brief moment, he wonders where you learned to do this. Then reality crashes back in like a wave that knocks Tim off his feet, the reminder that he could have taught you if he hadn’t let Keith Adamson get to him.
“In Brightest Day, you wrote a character who was a young cop, naïve and desperate to do the best thing,” you continue. “Who was she?”
“You know who,” Alex mutters.
You smile and ask, “Was I in all of them?”
“Of course.”
“That’s why you went to my old apartment before you sent the message to my friend in the FBI? Because I’m part of this? No, because you’re improving the character, right?”
“You were so far away,” he whispers.
“Alex, did you learn how to code just to talk to me?” you inquire softly.
He nods, then looks to the novella at your feet. The toes of your boots are inches from the paper, and his mouth twitches like he wants you away from it.
“Kick it,” he demands.
“Why? It’s art, it’s part of your soul,” you argue.
“Kick it.”
Tim nods in your peripheral, and you swallow before kicking it toward the door. Alex doesn’t hesitate to shoot the paper. You turn away from the noise, covering your ears even though it’s too late to keep your head from pounding. As the noise fades and your hearing returns, you see the shredded paper surrounding the hole in the floor.
“How does the story end, Alex?” you ask, stepping toward him again. “Are you like the truck drivers in Animal Farm? The cursed wanderer in Render Down you wrote for Liza? Or are you some new character that only cares about usurping the power for yourself?”
“It was never about me!” he replies, louder than you’ve heard him before. He softens his voice to repeat, “Never.”
“She was mine first,” Tim interjects suddenly.
Alex spins on his heel, the barrel of his rifle rising as he faces Tim. You shake your head wildly, desperate to stop him from saying something that will make Alex pull the trigger again. Angela looks down quickly, and you see her gun beneath the bed. As Alex’s chest heaves, his eyes locked unblinking on Tim’s, you move closer to the weapon, to Alex, and to freedom where you all walk out of here alive.
“I was saving her!” Alex roars. “From corruption, from Adamson, from you!”
“Adamson is the only one who hurt her,” Tim argues.
“February 17, 2017. You took your rookie to a noise disturbance call, and when you got there, four stupid young men were looting a flooded store during a break in the storms. She handcuffed one of them, but the rest ran. Then… then you started yelling at her, blaming her for all of it. While you were busy berating her, the other man ran with the handcuffs. I got away, but the power, the corruption, the greed was all getting to be too much. We hurt the owner because she was too worried about not getting insurance money for the water damage to empty out the register.”
“Something changed,” you say from beside Riley.
He doesn’t move away from Tim but stops talking to listen.
“In the first novella, it was you and me, wasn’t it? You wanted to make a new world together, save me from the love you thought would corrupt me.”
“Adamson used you too,” Alex tells Tim. “I made room for you to come with us and this is how you repay me? Chasing me for making things better. You’re back where you started.”
“Maybe now isn’t the time to act,” Jackson West says. “What if the world could’ve healed on its own and the people you killed might have helped?”
“Fool! They’ve gotten to you, too.”
As Alex’s finger slides onto the trigger, he turns toward Jackson. You don’t hesitate to lunge forward, closing the distance between yourself and Alexander. While you tackle him to the floor, he squeezes the trigger, and the shot rings through the now-silent townhouse and seems to echo for hours as your team watches in horror.
Tim pulls the handcuff key from his belt and passes it to Angela before he crawls on his hands and knees to reach you.
“I hope somebody got scans of that novella before he shot it,” you groan as you sit up.
Tim sighs, taking your face in his hands as he wipes blood from your temple.
“Is his writing really that good?” Jackson asks as he stands.
“It’s a little preachy,” you reply with a smile.
Your phone rings, and you swipe the screen to answer, then immediately hang up.
“That was your boss,” Tim points out.
“He can yell at me when he gets here.”
“Alexander Riley has been charged in the deaths of twelve Los Angeles residents,” JJ says at the press conference the morning after your encounter with Alex. “His victims include Janice Davis, Gregory Hunter, Bryce Keller, Hank Sheller, Peter Bristol, Liza Renner, Mel Houghton, Destiny Crest, Angelica Thomson, Alissa Alvarez, and Jack and Cassidy Wilson. Nearly three dozen cold cases are now being reopened, and the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit supports the LAPD’s claim that Riley could have committed these crimes as well. I’ll welcome any questions at this time.”
You scrunch your nose from the side, resisting the urge to remove the bandage on your forehead. Tim stands beside you, watching you.
Tim notices that the bandage is loose but doesn’t move before Hotch warns, “Don’t do anything in the public view that you don’t want to get out and give Riley a chance at walking.”
When the conference ends, Derek sighs and walks past Hotch to return to the hotel and pack. As he approaches you, he smiles and says, “And you didn’t want to come because I can’t help, and LA is too sunny.”
You try to punch Derek for his poor impression of you but miss as he breaks into a jog. Shaking your head, you turn to Tim and prepare a joke about how you don’t sound like that. Tim’s serious expression stops you, though.
“You didn’t think you could help?” he asks. “You were going to be an amazing cop, and I regret playing a part in taking that opportunity from you.”
You shrug and respond, “I like the FBI, and I got to tackle a murderer, so it all worked out.”
“Yeah,” Lucy interrupts, walking to your side. “But now you have to go back to Virginia.”
“Thank you,” Wade says, stopping at your side. “Come back soon, okay?”
You smile as he hands you a paper. As you read it, you sigh, then shove it into your pocket. The email came in this morning telling all active FBI agents about the new tactical unit, one which will work closely with the BAU. They’re actively recruiting, but if you tell Tim, you’re asking him to choose between you and the job again, and you can’t do that to him. Asking Tim to leave LA would be cruel, you think, so you force a smile onto your face.
“Thank you for everything,” you tell him. “Especially the part where you saved my life and the apology. I’ll try not to stay gone so long this time.”
Tim nods, and you smile at Lucy before following your team. He watches you walk away, ignores Lucy’s encouragement for him to chase you, and waits until you leave to whisper what he wants to say. But Tim lost his chance again. Worse, he lost you again.
Two Weeks Later
“Which one of you wants to die first?” the armed suspect asks, swinging his curved meat hook between you and Spencer.
“Probably you, right?” you whisper. “You know, my blood’ll be on it if he kills me first.”
“The mean value of Staphylococcus aureus in raw meat is 3.84 in a butcher shop,” Spencer replies. “I don’t know where that thing has been. At least your blood has been relatively well contained. And any amount of water on that thing increases the number of bacterial specimens transferred from the meat surface.”
The metal door of the meat locker blows open suddenly, and when the butcher before you turns to see what caused the noise, two men in tactical uniforms subdue him and confiscate the meat hook. Spencer rushes out of the facility, and you watch as the new FBI team takes your suspect into custody.
“I could have done that,” you complain.
“Sure you could, boot,” one of the men says, his voice muffled by the helmet.
You look toward him with your eyebrows raised. He takes his helmet off, and your jaw drops. Tim Bradford.
Smiling, you step toward him with questions racing in your mind, but he extends a gloved hand, holding it against your waist to stop you as he whispers, “Morgan has cameras everywhere.”
As you walk into the BAU bullpen together, Hotch looks up from a paper. He looks at you, then Tim, then back to you, and smiles. With wide eyes, you hide behind Tim’s shoulder, unsure what a Hotch smile could mean in this particular circumstance.
“We’re wheels up to Los Angeles in forty-five,” Hotch says.
“Why?” you ask, stepping out from behind Tim.
“There’s a domestic terrorist leaving Shakespeare at foreign-owned businesses hours before they’re bombed or become mass murder scenes.”
You nod, but before you can speak, Derek calls, “Bring Bradford! We could use the Army experience.”
Hotch narrows his eyes at Tim, then shrugs and agrees.
“Good, good,” you mumble, wrapping your hands around Tim’s arms. “I’ll show him the ropes then and we’ll be back in thirty.”
“Please do.”
You quickly forget the ropes as you drag Tim into Penelope’s empty office. He smiles and prepares to ask what this has to do with terrorism, but you slide your hands onto his jaw and kiss Tim. Finally. Tim's hands meet your waist, and he pulls you closer as he kisses you, both of you melting into one another and getting lost in the moment you’ve waited so long for. When you pull back, Tim keeps you close, smiling like he’s seeing you clearly for the first time, though he’s known your heart and potential for nearly a decade.
A quiet gasp draws your attention, and you both look to the door as Penelope says, “I’m telling Chocolate Thunder!”
#tim bradford x reader#tim bradford fic#tim bradford the rookie#tim bradford imagine#tim bradford#the rookie x reader#the rookie abc#criminal minds#derek morgan#bau team#spencer reid#jj jareau#aaron hotchner#penelope garcia#fem!reader#hanna writes✯#crossover fic
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criminal minds masterlist :)
----------------------
aaron hotchner
the problem with arguing
you and aaron run into some trouble at home, what happens when you're taken by an unsub?
breaking rules mr.hotchner? (part 2) better than ok
what happens when you and aaron are left after work alone? (and) surely he'll visit you in hospital, right?
unfair unfair part 2
my take on: season 3 episode 20- Lo-fi
i don’t even know you anymore part 1 part2
aaron is there for you after you spencer break up, romance ensues.
motherly instincts
aaron's overbearing mother makes a comment about your postpartum body, he doesn't react well.
slowly
aaron is there for you during the one of the most difficult times of your life.
fix it | fix it together
what happens when you and aaron are arguing and he compares you to haley, and worse, brings up an annulment?
my boy only breaks his favourite toys
based on the song by taylor swift
fresh out the slammer
based on the song by taylor swift
jealous?
you were to supposed keep you relationship a secret, what happens when a certain doctor develops a crush on you?
guilty as sin?
based on the song by taylor swift
no promises
aaron has to save you from an unsub before it's too late.
safe
you are a victim of an unsub and aaron finally has to tell the team something.
office couch
you and aaron spend some time on his office couch… (18+)
nervous night
aaron is there for you when a night with your sister turns sour.
opening night
aaron misses your opening night, he forgot all about it.
insomniac
how aaron helps with your insomnia episodes.
a great start
how you and aaron end up together after a hostage situation
pinky promises
how you and aaron worry jack, and how aaron finds something out almost 20 years later.
who did this to you?
aaron gets quite the surprise after a mission
telling him
jack can't go to school, so you swoop in and become aaron's hero, he asks two pretty important questions.
drunk confession and the morning after
aaron admits some very cute things when he's drunk.
aaron's admissions last night ended in a proposal in the car. not exactly romantic, but oh well
always
sharing a hotel room forces feelings to the surface.
clingy
aaron acts quite differently with his wife around, which causes eyebrowns to raise and feelings to start getting hurt.
the picture
a late night issue turns into something very nice when your boss that supposedly hates you decides to come clean.
birthday fights & other lies
aaron forgot your birthday which spirals into something much deeper.
cookies
you're the cute barista he sees everyday.
shocker
you have some news for your husband.
insecurity
aaron starts to overthink and doesn't realise how it's impacting the relationship.
safe
aaron had to make sure you're safe, can he get to you in time?
birthday break
aaron almost misses your birthday
protective
aaron (literally) fights for you
believe me aaron is there for you during a particularly difficult case. (18+)
videos and violence an unsub capturing you makes for a pretty interesting love confession
----------------------
spencer reid
thank god for dr. spencer reid
spencer saves you from your shitty family
i don't even know you anymore (part 2) i don't even know you anymore
your breakup with a cheating spencer and the aftermath with hotch
you were right
your husband accepts an invitation on your behalf
in sickness and in health
spencer is there for you when your sick, even with the germs
i’d say yes
is spencer asking you out? you'd say yes.
the tortured poets department
based on the song by taylor swift
stalker
spencer's there for you when the unsub is your hometown stalker, who's still obbessed with you
spencer x gender neutral model!reader
headcanons with spencer and a model reader :)
weird facts
you finally meet spencer's friends/team, only thing is, they don't know you exist.
relief
when spencer can't get to you in time, waking up leads to the team finding out about a few things. Like, you're married. And something else...
mutism
how you and spencer met, the first time spencer heard you speak, and a look into your life together
transfer
how your sudden transfer forces certain feelings to the surface
i wanna kiss you on the mouth
both of you are completely unaware of your feelings, but you speak too loudly and your feelings are confessed.
who’s afraid of little old me?
based on the song by taylor swift
saving you
spencer has to save you before it’s too late
hair tie
spencer's hair is getting too long
the fifth kiss
lila archer gets in the way of you and spencer.
you make me happy
spencer acts quite differently around you and it shocks the team
all alone
spencer doesn't want to get hurt, too bad it hurts you in the process
the joys of a workplace relationship
a new addition to the team causes some very strange conversations to be had- and a very embarrassing moment for both spencer, and you.
confession
spencer's birthday was supposed to be fun for him and his girlfriend, what happens when his mentor (his girlfriends father) shows up at his door?
picking
spencer notices one of your issues, and is determined to fix it.
broadway baby
a secret gets out
revealed
derek tricks you both, uh oh
don’t dwell
you and spencer reconcile after a bad case
controlled turns out spencer doesn't hate you...
under pressure endings are bittersweet...
----------------------
derek morgan
friendly fire
you and derek don't get along very well
high maintenance
you're told your high maintenance, you set out to prove it's not true, it goes badly.
my girl
derek is there to wash your insecurities away (tall reader x derek morgan)
take down
you take down an unsub threatening your husband, derek morgan
labour
derek has to do something when you're three days past your due date (18+)
----------------------
series
pride: you, a bau team member are faced with quite the choice when both aaron hotchner and spencer reid are interested in you, but what will happen when a family emergency calls them into action? And which will you choose?
part 1, (in progress)
----------------------
birthday blues: spencer, your boyfriend makes a choice that cuases something in your relationship to break. can he even fix it?
part one part two(in progress)
----------------------
regrets: spencer, your fiancè comes home from prison and an amalgamation of your grief and his causes the collapse of your relationship. Fast forward five years and the question still stands, can he fix it?
part one | part two (in progress)
----------------------
insomniac au: your life with aaron and jack, working with your insomnia
insomniac
treatment plan (part 1) treatment plan (part 2)
aaron oversteps and it starts a fight.
#aaron hotchner x reader#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds fic#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#masterlist#aaron hotchner fluff#spencer reid fluff#x reader#angst#fluff#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid#derek morgan x reader#derek morgan x y/n#derek morgan#bau team#derek morgan fluff#derek morgan imagine#derek morgan fanfiction#doctor spencer reid#dr spencer reid#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotch hotchner#aaron hotchner#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner imagine
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A Holiday to Remember ❆
a christmas special by mggslover!
for everyone who is still pissed that criminal minds never got a christmas episode: this one is for you!
The BAU takes a rare holiday break, but what was meant to be a peaceful weekend of hot chocolate and Secret Santa exchanges turns dark when a family is found murdered beneath their Christmas tree.
Reader struggles to stay focused on the case, as it brings up memories of her past. And as if that weren’t enough, her unspoken crush on Spencer Reid is becoming harder to ignore.
part 1: the holiday getaway (unlocked on dec 24) part 2: how the unsub stole christmas (unlocked on dec 25)
divider by @issysh3ll
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds smut#criminal minds angst#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#jennifer jareau#emily prentiss#aaron hotchner#david rossi#derek morgan#penelope garcia#criminal minds fic#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid fanfic#dr spencer reid#spencer reid fic#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid one shot#criminal minds fanfic#bau x reader
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New Kid
Spencer Reid x Reader
BG: It’s your first day at the BAU and meeting the team. The team is surprised with how you’re hitting it off with a certain Doctor but what they don’t know is that a bigger surprise is yet to come.
A/N: My first Criminal Minds/Spencer Reid Fic! It’s been sitting in my drafts for over a year now and finally tied an ending together. (Are we over a 2-year writing slump? We’ll see!)
Honestly it’s pure season 1/season 2 team fluff crack and chaoticness! Wanted to capture the early seasons team dynamics. Hope you all enjoy!
Fun fact, it’s all the Spencer Reid x Reader fics that kept popping in my recommendations that I started reading and falling in love with Reid prior to starting the show!
WC: 1307
>>>GENERAL MASTERLIST<<<
>>>CRIMINAL MINDS MASTERLIST<<<
This is it. Your first day as a Special Agent in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Growing up reading detective stories and solving mysteries were your favorite pastimes.
You’re grateful for having a family environment that was supportive of your thirst for knowledge and endless curiosity.
The receptionist has informed you that the team is waiting for you upstairs, ready to give your orientation tour.
"Thanks." You replied, half mildly picking at your nails. In just an elevator ride away, you'd be in the midst of the smartest profilers alive. And nothing goes unnoticed – that you know very well.
A vibration in your pocket breaks your thoughts. A smile slips to your face.
"Stop picking at your fingers." The voice on the other line says.
"Hello to you dad." You can't help but roll your eyes. "I wasn't even–" You look down at your left hand. Shit. "How'd you even know?"
"I just do, I watched you grow up for 25 years."
"Yea yea."
"Hey kid, sorry I couldn’t be there—“
“You’ve got a whole auditorium full of nerds dying to hear your lectures, I understand.” The door in front of you opens and you step inside.
“Thanks kid. I’ll make it up to you. How does an extra large, extra saucy lasagne sound?”
“Oooh yes, don’t forget with extra cheese!” The monitors indicate: 3/F, 4/F, 5/F. “By the way, you’ve told them right?” As you step out, you spot a group of agents handled near the department entrance. “Anyway I’ll see you later, gotta go. Bye.” Quickly cutting the line off, not wanting to seem unprofessional, chatting on the phone.
“Special Agent y/m/n?” Said the brunette.
You opted to be referred to by your first and Mother’s maiden name, when you first started out. Wanting to stand on your own merits and making a name for yourself.
“That’s me.”
“Special Agent Greenaway, this is Agent Jareau, and Agent Garcia.” You shake hands with the two agents “Call me JJ”
But you are quickly engulfed into a hug by the third, which you have to admit took you by surprise. “You can call me Penelope.-- Opps sorry, just excited to have another female member in the team!” You give her a warm smile, patting her shoulder, “No worries, Penelope. Just caught me off-guard.”
“Come on, let’s meet the rest of the team.” JJ says, leading you all into the bullpen.
“So this would be your desk right here” points Agent Greenaway. “Which is right across from Agent Morgan–”
“Derek, Derek Morgan m’ beautiful lady.” cuts in the man.
You can’t help but blush from the compliment. “You always flirt with the new kid, huh Derek?” You challenge, playing off his energy.
“Ignore him,”
“Cmon’ Elle. It’s all good fun!”
Elle directs you to a hunched figure behind Derek.
“This is our resident genius, Dr. Spencer Reid.” She points to Reid, who is preoccupied with a lego model to have noticed the group.
“Dr. Reid! I’ve heard so much about you!” Reaching out your hand, to grab his attention. His head instantly shoots up, eager to know the culprit who distracted him from finishing this model of the Delorean and give them a piece of his mind.
“Hey! I was just finishing -.” His voice trails off upon realizing that A. it wasn’t one of his teammates making fun of his legos but instead a face he doesn’t recognize and B. feeling bad on being the reason why your bright smile turned into a frown. “Oh Sorry! Sorry Ms–”
“y/m/n” Your father had shared stories about the team, especially Spencer, his protege. He was the person you were most excited to meet, though with this first interaction - you were discouraged with how it went. Perhaps you shouldn’t have run multiple scenarios on how you’d wow the team with such high standards.
Dropping your arm, eager to quickly change the subject, you turn to Elle. “ So what cases do we –”
“y/m/n? As in y/f/n y/m/n!?” Spencer exclaims, his eyes wide. Big hand gestures dancing through the air as he raved. “ The author of ‘The Correlation Between The Probability of Sudden Adult Anger Outburst and Childhood Familial Upbringing.’ ?
You’d had your thesis quoted back to you by professors and peers, but never with such childlike wonder written all-over Spencer’s face, making you blush. “Yes! But how -”
“I’ve read so much about you! Your work, I mean.” Spencer isn’t normally affected by how he’s perceived by others. Spitting out facts in the speed of light is synonymous to his identity and it’s nothing he’s ashamed of. But it's rare to have someone beautiful and intelligent be into the same niche interests that he has. Spencer only has one shot on not coming on as weird and it’s not going well, so he elaborates. “I got it from Gideon’s pile. I picked it up on a whim but your writing is spectacular! I read through it in 12 mins!”
“Wait, you read through my 250 page dissertation in under 12 mins?” You questioned, looking around the team to check if you’ve misheard.
“Affirmative. It would have been faster, but I was jotting down some notes.”
“Notes, huh?” Crossing your arms, the paper had gone through multiple reviews from your professors before submission. It should be damn near perfect. “Alright, Doctor Reid. I’m interested, how about you show me your notes over coffee?”
“Actually…” Spencer raised his finger, interjecting. “It might take a bit longer than an hour and I would love to dig into your brain. Perhaps we could go over it at dinner?”
“Name the time and place.” You grabbed the nearest post-it and quickly wrote down your phone number. “Now will you excuse me, I believe I’m late for my introductory meeting with Agent Hotchner.”
With that you broke away from the make-shift team circle and headed you to Hotch’s office, leaving the team still frozen in their spot.
Derek was the first to speak. “Did pretty boy just ask out the new girl without stuttering and succeed?”
“Good, so everyone else witnessed that too right?” Added Penelope.
JJ nodded in agreement, too stunned to speak as if it would break the illusion.
“What?” Spencer’s voice cracked. “I simply asked if we could compare notes!”
“No. Technically she initiated it.” Elle clarified.
Shaking his head, Spencer eyes trailed to the now closed Hotch’s door.
“Yea, to which you effortlessly turned from coffee date to a dinner date!” Exclaimed Derek, earning Spencer a pat on the back. “The boy’s got game!”
“It’s not a date! At least I don’t think it is - I bet she doesn’t see me that way. Nobody does.” Spencer sighs, sulking back down to his seat. Reality catching up to him by the second, erasing any hope that a woman like you would have any romantic interest in a nerd like him.
“Trust me kid.” Come a voice, effectively cutting Reid’s thoughts. Gideon nonchalantly walks up to the empty desk marked “Agent y/n y/m/n”, moves the box of your belongings to make space for what seems to be a plastic bag of takeaway. “You're her type.”
“What?” Spencer asks, more confused than ever. The looks across the team’s face reflect his own reaction. “And how would you know that?”
“With all due respect, sir.” Added JJ, careful not to overstep. “You haven’t seen y/n and you got all that from her untouched desk?”
“Yea Gideon, we know you’re good but you can’t be that good!”
Gideon brushed off Derek’s brassiness and smirked. Proceeding to head up to his office, finally addressing the group only halfway up the steps. “I know, cause she's my daughter.”
“WHAT?!” exclaimed the BAU team, who once again found themselves frozen by a member of the Gideon family.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds#early seasons!spencer reid#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds x reader#derek morgan#bau team#jason gideon#penelope garcia#elle greenaway#aaron hotchner#jennifer jareau#doctor spencer reid#fandomcombine writes
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Hi, love your work and i was thinking of a good story where it's "the reader and Spencer's wedding they are having a good time and Penelope wants to congratulate them but can't find them, she walks around and finally spots reader she is resting against the wall of a cleaning closet, they talk for a bit and she leaves, when Penelope leaves spencer comes from out of readers dress, and says that that was a close one"
Couldn’t Wait
18+❤️🔥MDNI‼️
My response to this lovely request 🥰
“You are insane! There has to be a hundred people out there!” You giggle at your new husband.
Spencer smiles at you, his cheeks staining red with pure adoration. He is overwhelmed by how gorgeous you look in your wedding dress. He wants nothing more than to rip it off of you and bury himself deep.
“It’ll be fine, no one is back here,” he shushes you and drops downs to his knees.
“Oh my god…” you look from side to side.
He had pulled you into a small closet with a curtain instead of a door. It was in the back hallway of the venue but you could still hear the music playing as the reception carried on.
“Spencer…” you warn. He nestles himself under your dress, and shoves you by your thighs against the wall. He spreads them wide and adjusts himself so his face is up against your cunt.
He is completely hidden under the massive gown of your white wedding dress but you can feel him. He starts kissing and nipping at your lace underwear. You want to smack him away but it feels so good when he presses his gorgeous face into your pussy.
He pulls your underwear to the side and sinfully dips his tongue between your folds for the first time as your husband.
“Oh…” you exhale at the warm welcoming feeling of his tongue. You wish you could run your hands through his hair but the dress is a barrier between you two.
It’s heady- not being able to see him but being able to feel him lap at your cunt like a man starved. You feel him humming and moaning into as his tongue swirls around your clit and he drags it back down into your entrance. Your entire body is on edge, alive, as he strokes you slowly.
His nails push into your soft thighs as he keeps your legs parted enough to keep tasting you. His head moves as he dives relentlessly into you and you start losing yourself in the sensation. The bass of the music beats in your chest and you throw your head back as you ride your grooms face.
“There you are!” Penelope appears in the doorway, slinging the flimsy curtain out of the way. “Why are you hiding in here?”
“I’m not hiding, just taking a moment,” you clear your throat and try to appear unfazed. Spencer has frozen between your legs.
“Where’s Spence?” She asks.
“Oh, I don’t know I thought he was with Ethan and Derek earlier,” you shrug.
“Well I just wanted to congratulate you personally…” she trails off when you startle in response to Spencer’s tongue on your clit again.
“T-thank you Penelope,” you huff a laugh. “It means the world to me that you’re here.”
You hope she doesn’t see your face turning red as your mans tongue teases you. You’re lucky Penelope isn’t a profiler. Emily or JJ would know what was going on immediately. You shift on your feet to try and get him to stop without being obvious.
“Are you okay?” She tilts her head.
“Yeah! I just get anxious at these things,” you lose your words for a moment when you feel his middle finger pushing at your entrance. “Social gatherings, I mean…”
“I understand. Especially because all the attention is essentially on you,” she smiles sincerely.
“And Spence,” you say his name as a half warning for him to hear because his entire middle finger is inside of you curling gently. You sputter out a cough to keep from moaning.
“Of course,” she beams. “I’ll see you back out there.”
“I’ll be back in a minute,” you reassure her. When she’s out of view you drag the curtain shut.
“I will kill you. I just married you and I will kill you Spencer Reid. Do you understand me?” He laughs but then latches his mouth back onto you.
You’re sent back against the wall and resume riding his face as he sets a rhythm with his finger and tongue.
“Fuck,” you whisper.
“You taste so good Mrs. Reid,” he praises and he knows you’re getting close.
God this perfect man between your legs, licking and finger fucking you while he’s moaning like it pleasures him… it’s too much. Your legs go taught, stars explode in your vision and your orgasm crashes through you.
He pulls his finger out and pushes his mouth into your harder, greedily lapping at you to get everything you have to offer him. He takes extra time to clean you up with his tongue before replacing your underwear to their correct position.
“Well that was close,” he smiles mischievously up at you. He pops out from under your dress, with his messy hair, black tux, maroon tie, handsome as hell.
You wipe the edges of his face as he grins proudly. He kisses you hard, greedily as if you didn’t already know you were his.
“I love you,” he whispers and holds you close.
“I love you more,” you promise.
When you walk hand and hand back out the reception area, Derek and Penelope greet you first.
“So pretty boy, you just couldn’t wait for the honeymoon, huh?” Derek claps him on the shoulder. Spencer’s face to red but he follows Derek who has his arm around him.
“Oh my god,” you whisper yell in horror at Penelope for telling.
“I blab! I’m sorry. You guys are just so cute,” she stamps her heeled feet and hugs you.
“You know I love you anyway,” you laugh and hug her back.
She hands you a glass of champagne and clinks her to yours.
#spencer reid#mgg#criminal minds#mgg pics#dr reid#spencer reid one shots#spicy spencer reid#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid x bau!reader#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x reader#Spencer Reid x wife#penelope garcia#derek morgan
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Would love some more Hotchner blurbs. How about one where you are BAU and have a baby girl (name is up to you) and you bring in the little doll because you (and baby girl) wanted to see daddy? If you are against writing for children, please write Hotch x Reader where she is a civilian and has a stalker problem? Would love to see protective Aaron Hotchner. Thanks
— Popsicles
📎 — synopsis. You, Jack, and Giada go and visit dad at work!
📎 — warnings. Fluff. Tooth rotting fluff. Jack calls reader ‘mommy’. Will def be writing about reader with a stalker problem :)
The summer heat in Virginia was downright unbearable. To you especially, considering your aversion to heat. Thankfully, after being given a rather generous maternity leave, you could enjoy most of the beginning of summer in the air conditioned house.
Of course, Aaron had to go back for work earlier than you. That left you, Jack, and little baby Giada at home most of the time. You loved your babies- blood or not- but still missed the last part of your family: your husband.
So now here you are, Giada in arms as Jack jumps excitedly in the elevator with a cooler in his arms. Giada had been cooing and scratching at everyone and everything for the better part of two hours. You smiled down at the baby, heart swelling with joy as Jack wrapped an arm around your leg and started ushering you forward.
“Aunt Penny!” Jack shouted, dropping the cooler and heading straight towards his favorite technical analyzer. You reached down for the cooler before Derek materialized beside you and picked it up before you could.
“Not letting you lift a finger, y/n,” Derek scolded.
You just chuckled, earning a loud squeal from Giada. “Yeah, baby? Tell ‘im.”
Derek chuckled and wrapped an arm around you before moseying over to where Jack animatedly told Emily, Spencer, and Penelope about the Spider-Man cartoon he’d been watching.
Emily still listened intently as she wrappen an arm around you and let Giada grip her finger tightly. “It’s been rough without you,” she whispered to you. “I think Hotch misses you more than all of the rest of us combined- if that’s even possible.”
You nod, adjusting Giada. The toothy smile she shot up at you and Emily made all the recent sleepless nights worth it. “It’s been hard on all of us- being separated. I just might call Strauss up and tell her Derek needs to take over for awhile again.”
“Do it,” Emily agrees with a chuckle. She gently pries her finger out of Giada’s and nods towards Hotch’s office with a go get your man.
Your surprised that Aaron didn’t emerge like a caveman from his office (mancave) when Jack announced his presence, but at least now you have the opportunity to surprise him. A short come in filters through the door after your gentle knocked. You entered, seeing Aaron’s hunched over body. He wrote fast, you noticed. A smile lit up your face: positioned unprofessionally close to Aaron was a photo of all of you with Giada asleep in your lap- Jack’s head rested on your thigh with his mouth open in a little ‘O’ as he slept. Aaron was sat on the other side of you when he took that picture. He whipped out his cell and angled the phone so that you and the kiddos took up most of the screen.
“Say hi, baby,” you murmured, gently poking your baby girl’s chubby belly. Giada replied with a mix between a raspberry and a laugh.
Aaron’s head shot up. In record time, he crossed the room and enveloped the two of you in his arms and exhaled deeply. “Hi.”
You smiled up at him when he pulled away. “Hi, you,” you mumbled as your free hand came up to run a hand through Aaron’s tousled hair. “Gi and Jay wanted to come say hi… We miss you.”
Aaron’s eyes softened. “I missed you too, sweetheart.” He basked in the feeling of your comfort and Giada’s mindless babbling. “Where is Jack?”
“Handing out popsicles to the team,” you answered. “Here,” you eased Giada out of your arms and into Aaron’s. You watched with soft eyes as Aaron smiled brightly at the little body, gasping when her head fell on his shoulder.
“Clumsy girl,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the girl’s temple before adjusting her in his arms and letting you lead the way to the bullpen.
Rossi had joined the crowd of federal agents that now scarfed down popsicles like it was their last meal.
“Look who finally showed up,” Rossi quipped, jabbing you in the arm with a red popsicle. “Took you two lovebirds long enough.”
Jack giggled at your encounter and held up a popsicle. “Here mommy- I saved one for you! Uncle Spence was gonna eat it and it was the last blue one!”
“Thank you so much, kiddo,” you answered, accepting the blue raspberry popsicle. You held it out so Penelope could cut the top off for you. “Where’s J.J.?”
Spencer pointed in the direction of her office, wordlessly crunching the frozen treat. You held open and Jack took it. “Grab a green one so these heathens don’t eat all the good ones,” you told Jack. He grabbed one and giggled, avoiding Emily’s attempt to tickle him.
Jack pulled you forward, singing a random excerpt from a classic rock song you’d heard on the drive to the office. He skipped up and down, something you would have told him not to do if he was munching on a popsicle. You smiled to yourself, wondering how you’d gotten so lucky for your family.
#female reader#x reader#jules writes 📓🖊#x female reader#aaron hotchner#fluff#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotch hotchner#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner angst#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner one shot#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotchner smut#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner x gn!reader#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner x reader#jack hotchner#ssa aaron hotchner#hotch#bau team#derek morgan#criminal minds
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A muted shade of green ✧ Chapter 2: He's not yours to keep
genre: more angst than fluff, but I swear fluff is coming up next!
word count: 5562
pairing: reader x spencer reid
description: you are trying to make sense of all this mess, but it's time to learn that, sometimes, things are just messy and chaotic and you have to learn to look for the silver linings.
a muted shade of green masterlist
previous chapter // next chapter
author's note: I am absolutely over the moon with the response I've gotten on this series and I'm really thankful for all the love and support <3 if you want to join the taglist for this series, please let me know in the comments!
You don’t usually dream.
Well, actually, if you tell Spencer that, he will say that you’re wrong– you do dream, you just don’t remember it. It’s common, not really recalling the scenes your brain conjure, Spencer would say; it can be due to a series of factors including high levels of stress and poor sleep. He would then tell you to stay home for a day, read a good book, and drink one of his fancy teas Penelope got for him a long time ago.
But the thing is, Spencer can’t really tell you any of it.
Not when you seem to be avoiding him even inside his own home.
It starts after you wake up still in his armchair, feeling exhausted and disgustingly sticky, you finally have a couple of moments to yourself. Spencer is still sleeping, and you’re actually surprised to see him stretched out on the couch– his tie is throw on his coffee table, the purple colour suddenly too bright in the dim apartment, but otherwise, still wearing the same clothes he had on yesterday. You don’t understand why he didn’t change into pyjamas, but then again, you don’t understand much of anything right now.
So you go through the facts.
One by one, you list them in your mind– and little by little it dawns on you just how bad this really is. It’s hard, conceptualising that this is reality; that you really do have a psychopath targeting you. It’s the kind of thing that you only saw in those TV shows you loved to binge on late night, the kind of thing you read on the newspaper, happening to other people, but never really you. Except, it is happening to you, and you are not sure what to do next. Do you just sit and wait for her to make a move? Do you continue to live your life normally? How? How are you supposed to ignore the fact that a, as Agent Hotchner had described her, ‘prolific serial killer’ might know who are?
“Oh my god,” You whisper to yourself, head falling in your hands. The watch on your wrist, an old, analogue thing your mom had given you before you left New York, is pointing to a time you would never have been awake before. 5:23 in the morning. The sun is not even up yet and you have hours before you have to open the store, but then again, you have to clean the mess that was left behind due to your rushed departure from it. You wince, disgusted at the thought of having to clean old vomit from the floor, and disgusted with the bitter taste it left behind. Right now, you are a shell of a human being and you need to get yourself back together.
You follow a familiar routine of recovery. It’s something you’ve done before and something you will surely have to do again, and it all starts with a simple list.
Firstly, you need to get up. You need to stretch your legs, throw them to the side, and stand. You need to walk, remind your self that you can still make your own path even if it’s only to the bathroom down the hall.
Then, you need to brush your teeth. The bitter taste stuck to your mouth makes you wince with memories that you want to bury.
Showering would be your third step, but this is not your home. This is not your space, and these are not your things.
A pettier side of you, one that is bothered and angry and irritated in a superficial level, wants to march back out to the living room, as loudly as you can, and shake Spencer away. You want to wake him up at the crack of dawn and make him share your torment, because in some level, even if you try to push against it, you blame him. Deep inside, you know that there is a big difference between the two– between blaming him and it being his fault. One is purposeful, conscious; it’s a decision you take and lay on his head. If you blame him, you commit yourself to hate him. The latter, however, is a fact. It’s irrefutable and immutable as the fact that you need air to live. It is his fault, but it was not his goal.
“He didn’t mean it, but it’s still his fault,” You whisper to yourself, pushing yourself off the sink to try and figure out his shower. It is his house, that’s a fact. But you also deserve a nice, warm shower, and that is another fact. He pushed you to come stay with him, so you need to also push yourself to feel comfortable in this space that feels so foreign to your senses. “He didn’t mean it, but it’s still his fault.”
The words become your mantra. He didn’t mean it, but it’s still his fault. Somewhere in you, you know you have what it takes to forgive, but you just don’t have what it’s needed to forget. By repeating those words, you allow your brain to slowly process this situation as what it is– something that happened because of him, but not by him. As much as you want someone to blame, someone to scream at, Spencer Reid just isn’t that person.
It takes you a moment to realise you don’t really have a towel or any of your products here, and using Spencer’s shampoo just feels… odd. Like an invasion of his space almost. “Oh thank god for you, Spencer,” You sighed, happy to see the pairing of shampoo and conditioner sitting perfectly on the corner. His hair had been one of the first things you noticed about him, all chestnut and shaggy and longish, but you are aware that not every man knows the basic of self-care. There is something about the way his smell takes over the bathroom, floating with the evaporation of the warm water hitting your skin, makes you smile. You feel closer to Spencer than you’ve ever been, and that is when your sense of danger hits. Your heart starts speeding, and your breathing is suddenly really shallow, and you’re trying to come out of the shower, to breathe in cold air, but all you get is humid mist and you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe at all, you can’t–
“Spencer!” You gasp, eyes wide in desperation once your legs feel like they might just give out. Scrambling to hold yourself up, your hands knock over some things in the counter, making more noise on top of the running shower. “SPENCER!”
“What? What? What– oh my god,” The door slams against the wall and back, almost hitting him on the side when he crouched down next to your naked, curled up body. It’s quite unnatural for you to witness, him jumping into action so fast, like he is trained to make these decisions in a split second. But then you remember that he actually is trained to make these quick choices– like grabbing the towel before anything else, covering you without a single quip about your nakedness; like sitting you up and putting your back against the wall; like turning off the shower and sitting back down right next to you, breathing deeply and loudly. It’s unconscious, how you let your breathing fall in line with his, and it takes a moment to realise he’s doing this on purpose. “Y/N, are you okay?”
“No,” You whisper, shaking from either the cold or the nerves or both. There are goosebumps all over your legs, the towel not covering you much from the top of your thighs down. “Spencer, I’m not okay. I’m… Until yesterday, you were just the adorable guy who shared my love for books. Y-You’d come into the store smiling and we’d talk and talk and– and now I have a serial killer possibly tracking me. How am I supposed to be okay? I’m so scared… oh god, I’m so scared, Spencer…” The one thing you are proud, amidst your utter embarrassment, is that you are not crying anymore. You still sound a bit rough, throat tired and hurting, and there is no energy left in you and he can hear that, you know he can, because when your voice echoes in the silent bathroom, kicking from wall to wall, you hear it too– the exhaustion and the numbness and the emptiness left behind.
“I-I’m still that guy,” He stutters, head falling down in shame but voice still twinged with something resembling hope. “I love books. I love talking to you about books, I love going to your store first thing in the morning. I’m still this guy, I just… I just happen to work for the FBI.”
“Yeah, but I… I think that after having my life turned upside down because of a serial killer who has a crush on you, I’m just not that same girl.”
That is the last time you talk to him that day.
—————————————
Actually, that was the last time you talked to him that entire week.
After he dropped you at the store that day and you were forced to face the embarrassing remnants of your lowest moment in life, moping old vomit from the floor, that feeling of turmoil in your chest died down. It settled. And it hardened.
He tried making conversation on the walk back to his, but you’re clearly not up for it, so his voice slowed down, getting lower and lower, until it stopped altogether. This time, you shower before bed and make a beeline to the armchair again, letting Spencer’s begs and pleas for you to sleep on the bed fall in deft ears.
For five days, you two don’t talk.
It’s a dance of chaos, how you step around each other at the apartment, and seeing him biting his words back or catching a glimpse of the bags under his eyes makes you feel guilty; of course it does. But you know that you can’t help him right now. Even if you were to forgive him, to force your mercy onto the situation, it wouldn’t be genuine. It would give him a false sense of relief while you’d forever be uncomfortable next to him, and you don’t want that. You don’t want to feel on edge next to Spencer, you don’t want to feel nauseous and scared when you’re with him. You want to talk about books and coffee and favourite places to order take out from. Instead, all you get to do is talk about her.
It would be a lie to say you don’t feel slightly jealous with the way that his mind seems to be so wrapped around Cat Adams. The imposed talking ban is hard on you both, that much you know, but the more Spencer let it happen, the more he let it stretch out and continue, the more you feel like maybe he doesn’t care that much. Maybe what is hard for him is the awkward tension trapped in his own apartment, rather than the pain of seeing each other so close yet not being able to laugh like you used to. And you know– you know how ridiculous your thought are, how childish you’re acting, but you can’t really blame yourself for being so on edge lately, not when your emotions are so zip and zapping through your body like thunder and lightening.
There are exceptions, though. In this case three exceptions, three moments in a day in which he brakes the ban, and you, for once, allow yourself some weakness.
“Good morning,” Is moment one. He says that every day, when he blinks himself awake on the couch. Ever since you’ve been there, a total of six days now, Spencer has slept on the couch, right next to the armchair you’ve claimed as your own. For these, you meet his eyes and nod, as if saying same to you.
Breakfast is quiet. He makes coffee and you make eggs, because despite you being there under forced circumstances, you are not going to be ungrateful and so you pay him back by getting groceries and cooking most meals. Which leads you to exception number two– the moment when he drops you at the bookstore.
You two walk there at 8 and he’s gone by 8:07, giving you enough time to mumble a “Be safe,” and give him his lunch for the day. He tried telling you that you didn’t have to cook for him, but you don’t really listen. As pathetic as it seems, this is the one way you’ve found to keep what you two had before, alive.
The third exception is the one that truly breaks your heart, again and again. It’s when he gets home, and he looks exhausted, and his hands fidget with the files he holds close to his chest. You are the first thing he looks for, and you almost melt at the way his shoulders visibly relax when he spots you– always ready for bed, always in the armchair. He stopped trying to come get you at the bookstore at night once you’ve agreed to let the officers walk you home. The spare key he added to your keychain should hold a bigger meaning than it does, though it feels like it does hold a bigger weight. A means to an end, you tell yourself every time you unlock his front door. This is just a means to an end. “Thank you,” he will then say, before he even moves to the kitchen to see whatever it was on the plate you had made and set in the microwave for him. “And good night.” By then, you’re already semi-asleep and you don’t really say anything.
You never thought you would miss these forbidden exceptions when they’re gone.
You know that travel is a big part of Spencer’s job, but with all that is going on, you never really considered the fact that he might need to leave for a few days. At least not until he calls you, right before you lock the store. The irregularity of it all has you scrambling to pick it up. “Spencer?” You barely whisper, voice cracking in half as little by little, you freeze up. The sensation is like ice running through your veins, burning it’s way to your heart until it makes it stop. “Spencer? Are you okay?”
“I’m okay,” He quickly answers, voice rushed in a way that makes you relax. He always talks fast and you find it incredibly endearing, even during these times apart. “I’m okay, it’s okay. I’m calling because we got a case.”
“Uh, okay?”
“Y/N, that means they need us in Ohio. Today.” He seems almost hesitant to tell you he needs to leave the state.
And you are as hesitant to accept it. “Oh,” You mumble, suddenly needing to making sure the officer assigned to you is still outside and ready to go. “Okay. Do… Do you need clothes or something?”
Spencer’s chuckle almost makes it all okay. Almost. “No, thank you. I just– I want you to be comfortable, okay? Feel free to sleep in my bed and do anything you want to do, I don’t mind! Feel at home! Just… be comfortable.”
For a second you nod, forgetting he can’t see you right now. “Okay. Thank you.”
“And Y/N?”
“Yeah?” You started biting your nails when you were twelve and middle school was kicking your ass. To this day, right now, you still bite them when you’re nervous.
“It’s good hearing your voice.”
Going home and knowing he won’t be there is not as comforting as you thought it could be. The two of you are not speaking and the constant walking on egg shells does get tiring, so you try to rationalise this as something that is just not that bad. Maybe Spencer going on his mysterious trips is not that bad anymore. Before, your curiosity was your downfall– you worried he had gotten sick or worse. However, you don’t think knowing the truth is much better. The nature of his job is incredibly dangerous, and you don’t even know much about it. Now, you still worry, that much hasn’t changed. What has changed, though, is that getting sick would be considered lucky. Right now, you worried about the ‘or worse’.
Your mom’s voice fills the empty space for a while. She texted you a couple of days ago and you just now got around to calling. “Sweetheart, how do we switch to video again? I want to see your face.” Alarm bells sound off in your mind and you immediately shut down the idea. “Sorry mom, I can’t right now. I’ll video call you tomorrow, okay? I’m cooking dinner right now.” Her worry is that of a mother, comforting like a blanket and familiar like a home. It is not, though, the worry you want.
For obvious reasons, you don’t tell her what’s going on, much rather preferring to tell her about the mundane things that keep you going. “And I sold out of the book!” You say, a short-lived excitement running through you. “It’s quite exciting, mom– since I opened the shop I have never sold out of anything! This is a first!”
“That’s amazing, sweetie!” She says, and you can’t help but wonder how Spencer would’ve reacted to the news if he was there. It’s only then that you realise you’re halfway through making him a plate for when he comes home, except he won’t be back until the case is complete and you gulp, too aware of the common noises you hear around you.
This is when you realise how much you miss you Spencer. And how much, even if unconsciously, he makes you feel comfortable and safe. You thought it was the apartment, but now, by yourself, laying on the armchair yet again, you feel vulnerable and exposed. Footsteps can be heard from time to time, neighbours getting home or leaving for the night, and every time, without a fault, you hold your breath and wait. Maybe the door will open and she will be there, or maybe it will be another delivery. God, it could be anything– a letter, flowers, another box. Knowing that Cat Adams had such easy access to Spencer’s apartment is enough to get you up and running to his room.
Green. The walls are green, muted and cozy, and you smile even when your eyes sting with tears. There is a hole in your heart right now and it’s Spencer shaped. “God,” You groan, rubbing your tears clean so aggressively that it hurts. “When did things get so fucked up?”
There’s no real answer to that, and you if you think any longer about this, your brain might just implode. For now, all you need is to sleep, but that won’t happen for a while; not with the way your heart speeds up at every crackle coming from his old, metal heather. Still, the chill air of Autumn seeps in through the walls, and you shiver. I want you to be comfortable, Spencer had said before leaving, and you might be crossing some boundaries right now, but you need him close to feel comfortable. You might not be able to get him, but the next best thing you have right now is one of his sweaters, and you have no qualms about opening his wardrobe and grabbing the first thing you find. Ironically enough, it’s an FBI Academy hoodie, though you can’t really imagine Spencer and all his formal glory in a hoodie. You put it on, nonetheless, shutting the door with your foot and just as you turn around, your eyes catch sight of something. Something big, and beige, and bone chilling.
The box.
In the heat of the moment, you simply thought he had throw it away. Hell, it would’ve made sense to throw it away! What the fuck was that box doing there…? With a shaky breath, you open the wardrobe door again, hoping, praying, that you were actually hallucinating and that what you saw was nothing but a shoe box or a bag. “God, please, be a bag, be a bag…” Safe to say, your words are in vain. “Fuck, Spencer, what is wrong with you?”
You’re shaking when you pull the box out of its hiding place, breathing shallow and fast. Reason escapes you as you quickly open it, not worried about how it was or even about putting it back in place; if it was up to you, this box would’ve been gone a long time ago. Clearly, it had not been up to you. “Oh my god, I’m going to be sick.”
Expectations are a tricky thing to deal with. When it comes to your life, you never expected anything big. You know your limitation better than anyone and the largest you’ve dreamt before was the store. You didn’t expect an FBI agent. You didn’t expect a serial killer. And you certainly didn’t expect a box full of sex toys. “What the…” You don’t want to touch them, not with your bare hands, but it looks like there are tens of toys in there, varying in shapes and sizes and colours. It makes you wonder… last he told you, her games are psychological and manipulative. From what you are seeing, though, this is incredibly physical. This is about touch and intimacy and… fuck. This is about connection. You don’t have to be a profiler to know that, not when you are so secretive about your own toys, hidden in the back of your besides drawer away from unwanted eyes. It’s a private thing, and only people you trusted, people you let into your life, knew about them.
Before you know what you’re doing, you rush to find your phone. It’s somewhere in the house, and you need to find it, you need to call him. “Pick up,” You whisper when you finally find it in the living room, under your favourite blanket on the chair. Even your fingers are shaking, vision a bit blurred from the adrenaline rushing through you– you feel like you’re in danger, and you don’t know what to do. “Spence, pick up, pick up, please pick up–“
“Hello?” You almost cry when you hear his raspy voice on the other side. It doesn’t make you feel any better to think that you might just have woken him up.
“Spencer,” You whine, embarrass with how needy you sound. The nice officer that brought you home is standing outside the door, and you could’ve gone to him– could’ve opened the door, asked him to stay inside, talk to him a little. Or you could’ve called Penelope. She had given you her number with promises that more often then not, she stayed behind to work from the BAU office. There is no place safer than my office, she had promised you, but how do you tell her that the problem is not your environment, it’s not where you are or what you’re doing… how do you tell her that the problem is you? She might not understand it so you don’t even dare try to explain it. You don’t dare to give her and the team this part of yourself too and you shut your mouth with a firm hand over your lips.
Memories of a life you left behind flash behind your eyes, and you whimper, hugging your knees to your chest while you hear him desperately calling for you. As far as you can, you kick that godforsaken box away from you. “Y/N?! Y/N, say something, please! Are you okay? Y/N!”
“I’m here,” You whisper, pushing your hair away from your face. “I’m here.’
“What’s going on?”
“Spencer, I–” A moment of regret and hesitation makes you pause. What can he even do all the way from Ohio? “I want to go home.”
You’re not his priority.
You’ll never be his priority.
There is no point to this.
“…did something happen?” This is the Spencer you know– voice soft and guarded– and for a second it feels like you two are getting to know each other all over again. “Did officer Kaper make you uncomfortable? I’ll ask for a change of guard, I’ll–“
“N-No,” You cut him off with a shaky exhale. Your head falls on your free hand, finger tangled with your messy hair, and you tug on it. Sharply, the tingly pain on your scalp grounds you for a second, brings you back to this situation you created. “No, Spence, no no no, I just want to go home, I need to go home, I–“
“Y/N, breathe,” He coaches you as gently as he can, voice stable and strong, everything you seem to be lacking. “You’re going to set yourself off in a panic again if you don’t breathe. You’re safe in my apartment, okay? I know it’s not the same as being home, I know, but you’re safe there!”
“You’re not here, Spence!”
There is a moment of silence for both of you. “You’re not here and you didn’t throw that fucking box away,” You whisper, keeping the moment something in between just the two of you. It’s enough that you are falling apart like this in front of Spencer, you don’t need officer Kaper bursting in the door to witness this too.
“You found the box,” He sighs. This is the first time you notice just how tired he sounds.
“I found the box,” You confirm, sniffling in a stubborn attempt to not start crying all over again.
“It’s evidence. I can’t throw it away, Y/N.”
“Why is it here?”
“I’ve been working on the case on my free time and it just made sense to keep it at home…”
“Spence, I want to go home. I don’t feel safe,” You admit, shaking your head. “I don’t feel safe here when you’re not here, Spence, I want to go home.”
“I thought you hated me.”
“Spencer…” He has a point, though, and you know it. This is the first time you two speak in days, the first time you experience this type of comfort again, but it’s still not enough. He’s still not here, next to you, watching over you. He’s still not with you. “Spencer, I’m sorry.”
“Silly girl, why are you apologising?” He asks, chuckling on the other side and you can picture him– you can see him shaking his head, hair falling around his pretty face like a perfect picture frame when his eyes, pure honey with specks of green, search for yours. Yeah… you can imagine it to perfection, almost like you are the one with eidetic memory. “This is all my fault. And I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Y/N and I’m trying to protect you, so I need you to stay there, okay? I need you to stay in my apartment, please.”
You don’t know what to tell him. Your eyes wander around the room, looking at all the details he left behind without even noticing. There is a copy of Dostoevsky on the bed side table. I hate Russian literature, you remember telling him once. He was in the shop, bringing you coffee, when you caught a glimpse of a book you certainly didn’t sell him. And I’m appalled you’ve been buying books somewhere else. The way he laughed then, like his biggest problem in the world was explaining to you that this had been a gift from a friend and that he would never betray your trust like this. What do you hate so much about it?, he had asked, leaning over the counter and into you, eager to debate this topic he loved so much. I hate that it’s all about suffering. Even the moments of realisation and self-improvement, they are all through suffering and misery. And of course he had a retort to that, fingers twitching with his enthusiasm. But it’s contextual, you see! Those were written in time of civil unrest and political chaos, and it makes sense to have characters and plot lines that revolve around suffering when that is all you know from the world around you. To this day, your answer paralyses you. I’m a believer in silver linings and happy endings. And not because I’m naive or ignorant, but because the world around me has made me believe that there must be something better out there. Isn’t that nicer?
“Y/N, please tell me you’ll stay there, I need you to stay there.”
His words almost escape you, but you catch them in the very last minute. It gives you a glimpse into a side of him he has yet to show you, and it absolutely shatters your heart in bits. I need you to stay there, he had said. Not you need to stay there, but I need you to stay there. Suddenly, you realise that this– all of this, the relocation, the involvement of the FBI, the dropping off and picking up– is not just for you.
“I’ll stay here,” Whispering with him like this helps. “I’ll stay. I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“Don’t be. I’m happy you called.”
“I’ll let you go back to sleep, but Spence?”
“Yeah?”
“Be safe. I need you back here.”
“I’ll be home in no time.”
For a second, you trust him. You trust everything will be okay, that you can make everything okay until he gets back, and then you’ll pass the responsibility onto him. For a second, you trust him, but you also trust yourself.
Everything will be okay.
Everything will be okay.
Everything will be okay.
You fall asleep like this; wearing his hoodie and hugging your phone, nose buried on his pillow in hopes to dream of him. The sun wakes you up, and there are birds chirping at your window. Despite the heaviness you feel in you and dooming headache you know will settle soon, the romantic in you believes that today will be a good day. That today will be an okay day.
“Miss Y/L/N? It’s officer Kaper.”
The knock doesn’t scare you anymore. On days one through three it had you jumping on air, heart about to stop from how fast it was beating. Days four and five were easier, less scary and more anxious, waiting for the punctual 9AM knock. From day six onwards, it was a welcome start to your day, knowing that someone is looking after you.
You check the fisheye like Spencer told you to, and then you open the door only when you recognise the face on the other side. “Good morning, Officer,” You smile, nodding at him a bit stiffly. The two of you had been formally introduced by JJ, but it didn’t make this any less awkward for you. “Would you like some coffee?”
“Sure,” He nods, smiling as he comes inside with his usual stack of mail. Everyday, without fail, someone picks up your mail and brings it to Officer Kaper. “Here’s your mail for the day, ma’am.”
“How was the night shift?” It’s almost like a scripted conversation, these back and forth questions you throw at each other, and you’re finding that you hate this. You hate the stiff conversations and the self-imposed bans. But this is day two, and in just more two days, Spencer would be home. And you would talk to him, just like you used to before, just like you did over the phone. Nothing will change; you’re not going home any time soon and Cat Adams isn’t going to just magically disappear. It’s time to accept it and learn how to live with it, as hard as that sounds.
Sifting through your mail has to be your favourite part of the day. It’s normal, slightly boring, and a peek into the routine you used to have and love. No one ever sends you letters, so it’s just bills. “Water, electricity, marketing, marketing,” The coffee is brewing in the background and Officer Kaper is telling you about his daughter. She’s a tiny girl, just two and very, very shy, but apparently, she loves stories. “I might have a book for her,” You get distracted from the letters for a second, smiling at the kind officer. “I’ll bring it to you later tonight!”
When you look back again, it’s the one on top.
The envelope is white, like any other letter, and it has no thing in the back but your name and address scribbled in red, a big heart right next to it. “Uh, Officer, this is… this is weird.” You’ve been instructed to let someone know if you received anything unlabelled or unexpected. This letter is certainly unexpected. “It has no return address.”
“May I open it?” He asks and you nod. He opens it with a knife, pulling a small piece of paper inside. “Okay, it seems like a normal letter. There is no signature of any kind.”
“What does it say?” You’re nervous now, walking around Officer Kaper to read over his shoulder. “Oh my god.”
“Does this mean anything to you?”
Nodding, you’re dialling Spencer’s number already. “It means I’m fucked.”
On the table, laid a message you’d never forget.
He’s not yours to keep.
---------------------------------------
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I have one eye open right now because I just woke up from a dream and I just have to share it before I forget.
— ✿ — ✿— ✿ ✿ ✿
Derek: What do you like to do on your free time?
Y/N: Read
Emily: Cool!
Penelope: Oooo~ What's your favorite trope?
Y/N: Oh, you heard me wrong. I meant, Reid.
Penelope:
Derek:
Emily:
Spencer:
Y/N:
Y/N: I meant, I like to do Reid—
Derek: We know what you meant.
#spencer reid#criminal minds#criminalminds#ssa spencer reid#cm#dr spencer reid#spencerreid#fem!reader#derek morgan#emilyprentiss#bau x reader#x female reader#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid blurb
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The Tattoo
Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader
Criminal Minds x Supernatural
Summary: Your first humankind case reveals a new Hotchner´s side you didn´t know.
Content Warning: Flirty Hotch, Homicide description, Abuse, Rape, Violence, Triggering situations. (Please let me know if I let something out.)
Note: This is my version of the episode "Jones" in the early seasons, I changed a lot of the things but not all of them, It is just how I would've liked the case to be in my opinion, and obviously added a bunch of other things to fit the thread of my story, like Jason Gideon not being there. I hope you like it.
“Short stuff, are you ready?”
“Nope”
“Come on, you’re going to be just fine.” Morgan gifted you a reassuring smile.
This was your first time filling in for a member of the group. Normally it wasn’t necessary, but the team was reduced to four. Emily was on mandatory vacation and JJ stayed at home to take care of a sick Henry, so now your presence was requested.
“It’s not what I’m used to.”
“No it’s not, but you are a great agent and will do just fine.” He said gently squeezing your arm. “You will charm them all.”
“Of course I will, there is no doubt.” You smiled back.
“Let’s go then.”
You both walked to the briefing room where the rest of the team was waiting, Morgan quickly walked to the empty chair In front of you, slightly pushing you to the side, leaving you with no option but to sit next to Hotch, not that you minded but lately all the members of the team have been acting a little weird.
You looked at Morgan with a questioning look but he completely ignored you and lowered his gaze to read the case files.
“We have a serial killer in New Orleans. Two men’s dead bodies were found over the last month, and a third body was found last night, the same MO, male, throat slashed, they were all found in semi-public places in the French Quarter.” You heard Penelope explain. “The local police have no leads and no suspects so far, Mike Weller, the head detective is waiting for you.”
Hotch nodded and looked at everyone in the room. “Wheels up in thirty.” He said before disappearing out the door.
—
When arriving, Hotch sent you and Reid to the forensic lab to examine the body.
“No hesitation marks.” You said pointing to the terrible wounds.
Spencer nodded. “Cuts are methodical and almost procedural.”
The forensic doctor looked at both of you. “The person who did this definitely had medical training, there’s no other way he could have done this.”
“He?” You glaze up to the doctor.
“No defensive wounds and took out pretty big men.” You frowned. “Although all the toxicology tests showed signs of alcohol.”
“Any relatives came to claim the body?” Spencer asked.
The doctor nodded. “His wife came with his former colleague.” Both of you looked at him with a confused expression. “He was a retired officer.”
“The lead detective didn’t say anything about that.”
“I’m not surprised, he wasn’t popular at all, he had a reputation for being a dirty cop.”
“I’ll call Garcia.” You said getting your phone out.
But suddenly Spencer’s phone began to ring and he immediately answered. “Where? Okay, we’ll be there.” He looked at you as he got off the phone. “Another body was found, call her on the way there.”
—
“Same MO.” Morgan informed. “Some people saw him leave the bar down the street.”
“So, he was drunk just like the other victim.” You said while eyeing the Weller. “Do we know his profession?”
“Does it matter?” He asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice.
You step aside standing closer to him and shrugging your shoulders. “Humor me, detective.”
Detective Weller side-eyed you but nodded. “He was a well-known lawyer.”
“I see.” You crossed your arms while raising an eyebrow. “You forgot to mention that the fourth victim was a cop who used to work at your police station.”
“I don’t think it is relevant to the case.” Weller huffed.
“Well, we don’t know that yet.” You insisted. “Do we?”
The BAU men were looking at your disagreement with confusion, and suddenly a strong back wearing a gray and elegant suit got in between, blocking your vision. It took only a few seconds to recognize that it belonged to Hotchner.
“We would like to have access to all of the information available, it’s vital to be able to get the unsub’s profile.“ You heard Aaron talking to the detective.
“Sure, Agent Hotchner.” After Weller left the crime scene, Hotch turned around to see you.
“You are riding with me.” Hotch left the place hurriedly making you roll your eyes and toss your keys at Spencer.
You manage to keep up with Hotch’s pace and climb up on the SUV, some minutes passed and neither of you talked, but you got tired of the unbearable silence.
“If you’re going to scold me, just do it now.”
“I’m not.”
“Hotch he was in the wrong, you know that, right?”
“I’m aware.” You shot him a puzzled look.
“Then why get in the middle of my conversation?”
”Because that wasn’t a conversation, he was starting to raise his voice.”
“I can take it, Hotchner.”
“I know you can, doesn’t mean I want you to.” You felt how your facial expression softened at his comment. “Listen, some of these detectives think we are here to make them look bad, they feel threatened.”
You rolled your eyes. “How are their insecurities my fault?”
Hotch chuckled a bit. “They are not, just go easy on them so we can keep the case.”
—
You, Hotch, and Spencer stayed at the precinct to read all the new information about the victims while Rossi and Morgan left to talk with the new possible witnesses. Currently, you are on your third cup of coffee and your fifth case file.
“I can’t believe we were missing all this information.” You hissed.
“Simmer down.” Hotch murmured.
You looked at the evidence board leaning against the table, focusing on the victim's photos, and frowning when looking closer.
“Oh.”
“You found something new?” Spencer asked.
“Hmm, have you seen that all the victims have tattoos?” Both men got closer to look at the photos.
“Well actually, in some religions tattoos are forbidden because they think of the body as a temple.” Spencer babbled and immediately stood up from his chair. “Some other religions even think that if you get a tattoo, you’re not allowed in heaven.”
“Really?” A look of confusion crossed your face.
Spencer quickly nodded while pointing up with his finger. “You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you: I am the Lord. Leviticus 19:28.” He added.
“So, we think this is a religious matter?” You asked.
“It could be a coincidence. Let’s ask Garcia if she can find something about it.” Spencer took his phone and left the room, leaving you and Hotch alone, looking at the board side to side.
“Well, that’s concerning. You know, some tattoos are meant to protect you.”
Hotch turned his head towards you. “What do you mean?”
“There’s this kind of tattoos that are protection symbols, usually hunters get them.”
“You have one?” Hotch’s upright posture was visibly shaken.
“I'm no hunter.” You said before walking back to the table, Hotch following you. “But yes, I do have one.”
“I’ve never seen a tattoo on you.” Hotch frowns
“That´s because it’s not in a visible spot.” You giggled while turning your back on Hotch to take out another stack of files.
Hotch’s eyes were found unconsciously roaming over your body. He had seen you in the summer, in short skirts and tiny tops, or with risky cleavages, hell he even had seen you in your pajamas when you shared a hotel room once or twice, but he never noticed any tattoos. That can only mean one last place.
Hotch knew you were busy getting the files so his eyes ended up going down your back to your ass, He was positive your tattoo was on your hip or ass.
You could feel Hotch’s eyes going down and up your body, You even turned your back on him longer than needed, so he could linger his sight on you even longer. Anyone could’ve said it was just Hotch’s curiosity but you saw that tiny shade of lust, sparkle in his eyes for a brief moment when you mentioned you having a tattoo.
You turned your body in a slow move and caught him still hypnotized by your body. “Looking for something Hotch?”
“Hips or ass, agent?” He asked with a straight face but his voice showed a hint of playfulness. He was teasing you.
The question made you smirk. “You’re not gonna hear it from me, you’re going to need to find out in another way, Sir.”
But before he could open his mouth to speak, Spencer came back to the room with bad news.
“Another body appeared, no tattoo.”
–
“Body number five, we can barely keep up with this guy.” you heard in the distance.
“Do we know who he is?” Hotch asked.
“Since it matters so much, His friend says he is a salesman.” Weller said, sending a nasty look at you. “No connection.”
“Detective Weller, I would appreciate it if your answer were directed at me. When I ask a question.” Hotch replied.
Weller huffed with irritation and you thought you heard him grumble something, but you’re not sure if he was agreeing with Hotch or cursing you under his breath. “We have five bodies, Agent Hotchner, and no correlation.”
“Okay, all victims were partying late at night with their friends and killed in the alley with no one noticing, how did the unsub manage to get them alone?” Hotch looked at his team, they were all lost in thoughts.
“A woman.” Detective Weller's mocking laughter echoed in the room.
“Let her finish.” It only took the look on Hotch’s eyes to harden, to force Weller to shut up.
“What is the only temptation for a straight man that’s going to lure him away from his friends and make him leave the bar?” Your expecting eyes were moving around glancing at your team’s faces.
“A woman.” Rossi repeated while nodding his head.
Hotch turned on his heels and looked at the detective. “Gather your men, we are ready to give a profile.”
—
“Ready?” Hotch whispered in your ear, making the baby hairs on the back of your neck stand at the sound of his voice.
“What?” You whispered back feeling numb by his closeness.
“Ready to give the profile?”
“Hotch, I’ve never gi-.” Your voice trails off. “I don’t think it is a good idea.”
“It is.” He assured you pushing you to the side and walking to the room full of cops.
Lost in your thoughts you barely felt two hands holding your arms from behind, giving you a light squeeze. “You got this, Kid.” Rossi left your side and followed Hotch in the other precinct's room.
You sighed and took a deep breath. This was your first time profiling a human case, not covering up supernatural events or rehearsing made-up stories. This felt different, good different.
You walked confidently and stood in the middle of the room surrounded by your team.
“We are looking for a woman between 30 and 35, she’s friendly, she’ll lure with charm but kill with rage.” You began your speech, feeling every pair of eyes looking at you with attention. “We believe she kills men to reclaim her power.”
“She probably suffers from low self-esteem but covers it well.” You heard Morgan's voice.
“We believe this woman went through a catastrophic event, that’s when the killing started.” Rossi pointed.
“She has medical training, you should consider EMTs, doctors, or veterinarians.”
“It’s more likely we are dealing with the Aileen Wournos archetype, motivated by paranoia and fear, luring men with sex.” Spencer added.
“She certainly knows the terrain, so be careful out there.” Hotch remarked.
A couple of hours later after the profile, Detective Weller came in a hurry with a piece of paper in an evidence bag.
“Forensics found a letter on the victim's body.” He said handing it over to Hotch. “She’s mocking us.”
“Dear boss, he wanted it. With that sharp tongue and vulgar hand. I thought you’d like to know that another will soon get what he deserves.
Yours truly.”
“That 's weird.” All eyes searched Spencer’s voice. “Typically offenders write letters to be heard. Jack the Ripper bragged about not being caught yet this Unsub isn’t using correspondence to flaunt her latest kill. Only to explain why she did it.” He explained while moving his hands around.
“It’s possible that she considers herself a vigilante. That the man she’s killing deserves to die.” Rossi blurted.
“Then, every kill she’s acting out is a fantasy of revenge or a real revenge?” Everyone in the room returned to their thoughts wondering at Morgan’s question.
You shifted in your place with uncertainty. “Maybe she is contacting us not because we are on the case, but because she believes we understand.” With fingers tapping against the wood, you began to unravel the tiny hints in the letter. “The Unsub wrote, He wanted it as she couldn’t help herself. What if she’s mirroring the man who raped her?”
”Where are the files stored from your Sex Crimes Division?” Hotch looked at Weller’s direction.
The detective stepped out of the room momentarily and returned with a medium-sized carton box with a few files that barely stuck out of the box. “Here they are.”
“That 's it?” You let out with a surprised tone of voice.
After several hours of trying to match your profile with any file in the box, you were exhausted. You decided to take a quick break and enter the bathroom, You locked yourself inside one of the bathroom booths and sighed while your hands held your head.
The sound of the door being opened ripped you out of your pessimistic thoughts. Suddenly a hand left a piece of paper report at your feet, leaving you uncertain on what to do. You tried to thank the person but, you were answered with fast footsteps leaving the place.
You took the paper and read in a whispered voice, Disturbance at Jones.
~~
“Care to tell us what happened then, detective?” Hotch asked.
Detective Weller shifted in his seat with discomfort. “How did you know about this incident?”
“It was in the box you gave us, Weller.” Morgan said while leaning against the wall, looking directly at Weller.
“I don’t think so.”
“Maybe you misplaced it, who cares?” You argued.
He looked at you with disdain. Aaron couldn’t help himself and stepped closer to you showing protection. “This happened when the head detective before me was in charge, I took some of the declarations but that’s it.”
You smirked with satisfaction Knowing you were right all along. “The detective before you as our third victim?” He nodded.
“What happened there, detective?”
“One of the boys asked her if she wanted to play pool. Witnesses claim she was up for anything. His friend, not far behind.“ All the eyes were on him. “He claims she knew he was there, She said she claimed for help but not a single person claimed that they heard her.”
You shook your head in disbelief.
He continued, “That’s why it was registered as a disturbance. She wanted to press charges. But the head detective back then told her it was a waste of time.”
“How is this just a disturbance?” Rossi asked, frowning at Weller.
“As far as I was concerned, no such rape ever took place, and the boy was a colleague’s son, he is a good boy.”
Something in your stomach twisted and anger started to build up.
“We are trying to know her name; she could be our Unsub.” Morgan pointed out. Weller sighed when this realization dawned on him, but he slightly shook his head as he was ashamed of not knowing the answer.
But you were sure shame wasn’t a feeling men like that could understand.
“You don’t remember her name?“ Morgan asked with incredulity.
“It was nine years ago.”
“What about the name of the good kid that raped her?” You bickered.
~~
“Mr. Tibideaux, we need you to answer a few questions about a disturbance you were involved with.“ Hotch’s voice resonated inside the four walls of the interrogation room.
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
Disgust appeared in your face, but you hid it by biting your tongue. You didn’t know why Hotch asked you to be there, but you hated every minute of it.
“At a bar called Jones, It was Mardi Gras.” Hotch reminded him.
“You know, then I must’ve been drinking or something. Cause I don’t remember a thing.”
With your feet tapping the floor, you were counting the seconds to be able to leave the room and be away from the so-called good boy.
“We just need to know the name of your accuser.” Hotch demanded. If he was annoyed there was no way to know.
“Look, I told you. I don’t know what you are talking about”
You roughly massaged your right temple, fuming.
”The statute of limitations is up, we just need a name.” He added calmly.
“Someone accuses me of rape, I’m gonna remember her name.” You taunted.
“Well, what can I tell you, Cher? I guess she didn’t make that good of an impression.“
Your eyes narrowed dismissively.
”Unlike yourself right now.” You retorted.
“You know. I’m guessing if someone did do something to that girl that night then she was probably asking for it. Maybe even liked it.”
You controlled the urge to smash his head against the table and abruptly took the file out of Hotch’s hands, you opened it and began to display all the victim's photos in front of him.
“You know Hotch, maybe we are not too late, she murdered these men and I’m guessing it’s only a matter of time before she works her way back to the one she really wants to kill.” You tilted your head to look at him but he was busy looking at the pictures with a horrified look. “Is she making an impression now?
Your words suggested you were talking to Hotch but your sight was set on the other man in the room.
“You don’t want to tell us, fine.” You snickered. “Cause Daddy can’t make this go away, and I have no problem waiting for your dead body to give me a new hint.”
You leaned closer, you didn’t have to talk anymore, you knew your eyes were saying enough. But you continued.
“In fact, I wouldn’t like anything else, so I’m gonna go ahead and set my alarm for tomorrow morning when I get the call from the police.” You ranted. “Cause, believe me, I’m going to sleep better knowing there is one less offender out of the streets.”
After hearing the name you needed, you stormed out of the room leaving everyone behind without looking back until you heard a voice calling for you.
“That was out of line, agent.” You abruptly stopped and turned on your heels to look at Weller.
“The only thing out of line is how pathetic you are at doing your job, Weller.” You turned back at him one more time and kept waking till reaching a quiet corner to make a phone call.
“Work me.” You hear Penelope’s voice on your phone.
“We have a name. Sarah Danlin. I need an address.”
“1141 Sherman Avenue. It looks like she was a med student at Tulane but she dropped out.”
“Let me guess, February nine years ago.”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks.”
~~
You returned to the hotel room by Hotchner’s request, and you knew he was in the right to send you back, you got carried away by your emotions.
You were a mess. Closing your room door, you let your emotions overpower you once more. Tears were falling down your face. You weren’t sure what you were feeling. No one ever prepared you for this kind of case, you felt powerless, empty, and lost. And finally, rage possessed your emotions.
You tossed glasses and trails of empty dishes, and your luggage and clothes flew around the room until your energy and strength gave up and tiredness reached you.
You are sure the hotel staff let Hotch know, cause he kept checking with you constantly. He let you know when they arrested her and how she told them she killed every man who helped cover up her abuse.
You heard your door being open and looked at Hotchner with a questioning look when you saw him standing there.
“How did you open my door?”
He showed you his key. “We are sharing.”
You frowned. “Since when?”
“Since now, there has been an unexpected cut in the budget.” You nodded knowing it was a lie and he probably wanted to check on you. But you said nothing.
“Some things fall by themselves, I think there’s a ghost.” You said when you caught him looking at the mess on the floor.
“I think you can manage that.”
He left his duffel bag on the floor and sat next to you on the bed.
“Are you okay?” He asked.
That simple question was enough to break your strong façade. It was a question you normally have no problem answering with a lie, and you didn’t know if it was the situation or just because Hotch was the one asking. But it brought you down to tears.
He took you in his arms and hugged you tight.
“I’m sorry.”
“It 's okay.” He softly mumbled on your head reassuring you. “You said what you needed to say.”
You quickly shook your head.
“I meant it.” You sniffled. “I was willing to wait.”
“I know.” He said while caressing your back with soothing movements.
“So, normally you have to deal with these detectives making your job impossible?”
“Yeah, all the time.” He chuckled.
“God, it’s exhausting.” You laugh a little
“You don’t?”
“No, they basically beg me to take the case out of their hands.”
Hotch sighed. “You need to learn new methods for the interrogation.” He searched for your eyes. “I mean, only if you want to keep coming to these cases with us, you want to?”
“Yeah.” You smiled at him.
“You are a profiler now, welcome to the team.”
~~
Back in Quantico, you were getting ready to leave your office when you got a call from an unknown number. You hesitated but finally answered after letting it ring for a couple of seconds.
“Hello?”
“Hey, sweetheart.”
“Dean?” You frowned looking back at the number.
“We need a little bit of help.” Reality sank on you.
“Tell me you are not calling from where I think you are calling.”
“Agent Henriksen got to us.”
“Damn it, Dean, How the heck did he manage to do that?”
“Bella Talbot.”
“That bitch again?” You sighed. “Where are you?”
“Colorado.”
“I’m on my way.”
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Parties
Summary: Spencer, Reader's boyfriend, gets jealous of the Readers family friend at a party.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader
Category: Smut
Content Warnings: fake blood, fake knife and axe, Spencer being jealous, cursing, kissing, hickeys, semi-public oral sex(m receiving), face-fucking, praise/degradation, I think that's it, lmk if I missed anything! — you are responsible for the content you consume, if you are not comfortable with any of these warnings or are a minor, DNI!!!
Word Count: 1.7K+
A/N: For the readers parents house I was envisioning something like the Mikaelson mansion from TVD. The reader is described as having longer hair w/ curtain bangs! This is also my first fic so sorry if its bad lmaoo
Masterlist
Walking onto the jet, you sat next to Penelope, across from Spencer. This case had been a hard one, Hotch had Penelope come along as you needed all hands on deck.
ping!
You sigh taking out your phone to see a text from your mom.
Mother Call me, please.
"What's wrong, Sweets?" Penny asks, concern lacing her tone.
"Nothing, my mom is just trying to call me and I really don't want to deal with her right now." You reply with a groan. You click on your Mothers profile, hitting the call button. She picks up right away.
"Sweetie, let your team that they're invited to this year's Halloween party. Your father and I agreed on the Friday- the 25th, but we would appreciate your input on the date. It starts at 8 PM" she says into the line.
"Alright, the 25th sounds good. If we have a case I might not be able to come," you say with a fake-disappointed tone, praying that a case came up on the day of the party.
"Your father and I are excited to see you so please try to be there."
"Well I can't really control when serial killers decide to strike but you know, I'll try!"
Sighing, your Mother speaks, "Don't be like that honey, your father and I are very excited to see you. If it's any encouragement to come, Julius will be there!"
"Alright fine, I'll try my hardest to be there." you say, smiling at the name.
You exchange 'goodbye's' and 'I love you's' with each other before you hang up.
“Who’s Julius?” Morgan asks with a smirk, drawing your attention to rest of the team who’s staring at you. Spencer couldn't help but feel jealous at the way you smiled at this ‘Julius’ person.
“How did you-? And you’ll meet him at the Halloween party my parents are having on the Friday 25th at 8 PM. No extremely scandalous costumes or my parents will probably never invite you guys back.” You say with a laugh.
Luckily, on the day of the party there was no case. Even so, you had asked Hotch to get off early as you needed to get ready for the party and be there early, as per your parent's request.
Once he agreed, you rushed home and showered before getting ready. You wore a black velvet strapless body-con dress that cut mid-thigh. You had fishnet stockings and black gloves that reached just below your elbows. There was a knife strapped to your leg as well. You had your hair down, styled with curtain bangs.
Once you finished getting changed, you put on dark red lipstick, mascara, and did cat eye eyeliner. Finally, to complete the look, you grabbed the scream mask and rested it to sit securely on top of your head as if you had pulled it up to reveal your face.
You grabbed a small black handbag and put on some Doc Martens, heading out the door to your parents mansion.
Once you got there, their mansions was decked out with Halloween decorations. You parked your car in the garage and went inside.
"Y/N, sweetie, we missed you so much!" Your mother greeted as her and your father hugged you.
"I missed you guys too. And I love the costumes." You said when you pulled away from the hug, referring to their matching Gomez and Morticia Addams costumes.
"Thank you," your father smiled.
It was 8:45 and most of the guests had arrived, so you decided to go and mingle.
You were standing by the food when you heard a voice come from behind you.
"You look good, baby," Spencer said, giving you a kiss on your temple. You looked up at him. He held a fake bloody axe in the one hand and he was wearing a suit with a clear rain coat on top of it. He had his hair slicked back and fake blood splatter covered his face.
"Thank you, you make a hot Patrick Bateman," you winked.
"Well hello gorgeous." You turned to see someone that you hadn't seen in years.
"Julius! Hi, oh my gosh, don’t you look handsome. It's so good to see you." You smiled, hugging him. He was dressed in a orange jump suit with handcuffs on one hand. When he pulled away, you could see him check you out.
"It's good to see you too, love," He grinned.
Spencer would deny being jealous of how low Julius had his hand on your back, of how you smiled and hugged him. But who was he kidding, he was incredibly jealous. So, he stepped forward, wrapping an arm around you, smirking.
"Aren't you gonna introduce me, baby?"
You smiled, knowing exactly what Spencer was doing, "Spencer, this is Julius. Julius, this is my boyfriend Spencer."
Julius stuck his hand out for Spencer to shake. "I don't shake hands, too many germs. But it's nice to meet you," Spencer said, leaving Julius hanging.
"I'll be back, Spence, I gotta go to the washroom."
With that you walked off into a hallway, Spencer following quickly behind you. When he caught up, he grabbed your arm and pulled you into the laundry room, locking the door behind you.
“Spencer what are you—”
Your words were cut off as he pushed you up against the door, smashing his lips on yours. His hands roaming all over your body as you threaded your fingers through his hair, tugging on it and earning a soft groan from his lips.
He tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth, making you moan, before breaking the kiss moving his lips down your neck. He lightly bites down on a spot before soothing it with his tongue. He repeats this all over your neck, surely leaving multiple hickeys.
"Fuck, you see what you've done to me? Walking around with that pretty little outfit and flirting with some other guy who would never be able to make you feel as good as I do," he speaks with a low tone, pushing your hips against his growing bulge as his hands grope your ass.
His words make you weak at the knees, the pool in your panties building with every passing second. Spencer's eyes are filled with hunger and lust as he pulls you in for another kiss.
"On your knees," he says into the kiss, lightly pushing you down by your shoulders. You get on your knees, making quick work of taking off his pants.
You slide off his boxers, freeing his cock, precum leaking out of the tip. You grin before licking a stripe up the underside of it, making him groan.
You spread the precum around the head of his dick before taking it in your mouth and swirling your tongue around the head. Spencer's breathing picks up and you start taking more of it into your mouth.
He takes the mask off the top your head, tossing it somewhere in the room. He grips your hair, making a make-shift ponytail. You hollow your cheeks and start bobbing your head.
You swirl your tongue around his dick as you suck harder. He groans and throws his head back, "shit, baby." As you take more of his dick into your mouth, his hips buck, hitting the back of your throat.
You gag around his dick, making him let out a low groan. He looks down at you for approval before he starts thrusting into your mouth.
He fucks your throat, making you gag and moan around his dick. Tears begin to fall at the feeling and restriction of air flow. He pulls back a bit, letting you get some air.
Once you give him a small nod, he resumes his motions. "Fuck Y/N you take my cock like such a good little slut.”
You feel his dick begin to twitch in your mouth, indicating that he’s close. You look up at him as he pushes in and out of your mouth, moaning so loudly, you're sure people can hear you.
"I'm close," Spencer moans, sloppily thrusting into your throat, hitting the back every time. After a couple more thrusts, he pushes his dick as far into your throat as he can, making you gag. The vibrations send him over the edge. He holds your head still, sending warm ropes of cum down the back of your throat.
He pulls out and looks at you, your mascara is running and your hair is a mess, "you look so pretty like this baby." He caresses your cheek before helping you up onto your feet. He pulls his boxers and pants back on before kissing you on the forehead.
"I love you," you smile at him.
"I love you too."
He picks your mask up off the ground and hands it to you. You take him to the washroom and take out makeup wipes from the cabinet. He helps you take off your make up so you can reapply it.
You both walk out of the room and into the hallway. Just as your leaving you bump into Julius. His eyes flicker down to the dark marks scattered across your neck and Spencer smirks.
"We're leaving now, it was good to see you," You smile at him, holding Spencer's hand.
"Yeah, you too."
As soon as you got home, Spencer pulled you onto the couch to straddle him. His lips were on yours, engaging in a heated kiss. His hands roamed to the back of your dress, pulling the zipper down and sliding the dress down to your hips.
He unclipped your bra, freeing your breasts. he pulled back, looking down and grinning.
"Are you just gonna stare or are—” You were cut off by Spencer's lips on your nipple making you moan. He swirled his tongue around the bud as his other hand kneaded your other breast. You were moaning, running your hands through his hair.
Just as he was about to move to the other nipple, your phone pinged. You groaned and got off him. you walked over to your phone and unlocked it.
Mother Your car is still here...?
Y/N I'll pick it up in the morning, I went home in someone else's car
With that you put your phone down and walked over to Spencer, swaying your hips.
"Now, where were we?"
A/N: chat I’m rlly debating posting this rn. I wrote it in 2022 and now, 2 years later, I found it in my drafts. I decided to edit it and fix it up a bit. I’m pretty happy with how it turned out, when I first found it, I expected it to be a lot worse lmao. lmk what you think of it!! if no one reads this I’m taking it down cause I’m kinda out of my criminal minds phase lol. Any feedback is greatly appreciated🫶
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#bau team#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid smut#smut#criminal minds smut#penelope garcia#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#criminal minds x reader#mgg#mgg x reader#matthew gray gubler#bau#bau x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#first post#reidsworld
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guilty as sin? l spencer reid x gn!reader
warnings/tags: not really smut, mild cannon violence, theres a make out session ig, bau!reader, guns, word count: 772 a/n: i gen think this is what happens to me when I watch cm, I cannot help thinking about him when I listen to this song. lmk what you think :))
It all happened too fast. The day was going smoothly, usual paper work that made you stare into oblivion and dream of a better life, then you were out on a case. You couldn't remember how you and Spencer were standing in front of the unsub who had his gun trailed on Spencer. He wasn't wearing a vest. You were. Why wasn't he wearing a vest?
His finger twitched at the trigger, you didn't hesitate to step in front of Spencer. You didn't let the next shot fire as you tackled the unsub to the floor, the gun clattering away from them. The struggle was short as the tackle made him hit his head on the steps behind him. He was knocked out cold.
You couldn't breathe, your head was bleeding from knocking it against the wall.
Spencer was apparently calling your name out causing you to blink. You were sat on the back of an ambulance. The unsub had already been taken away, they were just cleaning up the scene now.
He clicked his fingers in front of your face causing you to blink again. "Why did you do that? You could've gotten seriously hurt."
Maybe it was because you had thumped your head, his words weren't registering. You watched his pink lips move, his arms were slightly bulging against his shirt, his long hair was swiped back. He looked as though he'd just fallen out of your deepest fantasies.
He called our your name again. You blinked again. "You weren't wearing a vest." You replied. "If you were shot you could've died, I've only got some bruised ribs."
"A shot from that range could've gone through your vest, it could've been fatal for you. What if the bullet was a little higher?..." He continued speaking, it was drowned out by your thoughts of how would his lips feel pressed upon yours, or his hands touching any part of you. It was like your dreams were coming true when his hands fell on your thighs to lean towards your face.
"You can't do that again..." his voice drowned out again. All you could think of was how his hands were causing your entire body to freeze up.
They covered the entire whith of your thighs, they were calloused, and even though your trousers you could feel the heat emiting from his body. He was nearly inches from your face. You could feel his breath.
Suddenly,��he leaned in kissing your lips, humming against them. Your entire body twitched, your hands going up to his hair, his hands slid their way further up your thighs, maneuvering towards your hips.
Your legs opened upcausing him to take a step forward, you moaned as he squeezed your hip. This prompted him to deepen the kiss, a hand going up to the nape of your neck. Holding you as if you were going to stop this moment.
You tugged on his curls causing him to let out a groan, as if he wanted to become one with you, his entire body was pressed up against you, the kiss was passionate and quick, as if you couldn't get enough of eachother.
He moved for your lips, towards your neck, your name slipping out his mouth, a kiss to under your jaw that made you shiver. He spoke your name again this time with more grit. Kissing a trail further down.
Your name was spoken again.
You blinked as Spencer gritted his teeth at your behaviour. His hands were still on your thighs. "Are you listening?"
"I am, sorry." You shook your head trying to get out of your own thoughts. "It won't happen again, I was just trying to protect you." You gave him a breathy chuckle. He patted your knee leaning back and standing up.
"As much as I don't want you to, I would've done the same thing in your position." He gave you a small smile. "Thank you."
"Anytime." You smiled back, he gave you another smile before walking away. You leaned against the ambulance and sighed, watching him talking to Hotch. His ran a hand through his hair. Your eyes softened, running your eyes over his entire figure.
"I'm not sure how pretty boy doesn't notice." Your head snapped towards Derek who was snickering at your love-sick face. You rolled your eyes. "You look at him like you're going to jump his bones."
"I do not." You scoffed back, jumping off the ambulance, handing back the blanket to the EMT.
"I saw your face when he touched yo-" You shoved Derek who just started laughing harder as you walked away.
#spencer reid#Spencer reid x reader#Spencer reid fluff#Criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#Spencer reid x you#Fluffiest#Spencer reid x y/n#mgg#Spencer reid x fem reader#taylor swift#bau reader#guilty as sin?#derek morgan
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for her, i’d endure
pairing: emily prentiss x reader
rating: t
word count: 7.6k
genre: angst, hurt/comfort
warnings: torture, descriptions of blood/injuries, drugs
summary: When you and Emily are kidnapped by The Chameleon, an elusive unsub that team had been tracking for years, you’re forced to watch her endure torture at his hands. In the hospital, you reel from your own injuries and the guilt of not being able to stop anything from happening to her. Angst and hurt/comfort with a happy end.
It’s hard to keep them open from the pain it causes you to try. You can’t help the slow drowsy blinking that follows. If they’re closed it doesn’t hurt as bad. Maybe this is a dream. Yeah, a dream. Just close your eyes and go to sleep, you tell yourself. You’ll feel fine in the morning.
Someone harshly whispers your name. You stir, but ignore it. Closing your eyes, you murmur something that isn’t quite a response, and try to welcome the darkness to take over. You just want to sleep whatever this is off…you try to at least. The harsh rasping whisper returns. There’s your name two, three times.
“Huh?” is all you can muster as you crack your eyes open once more. There’s a fluorescent light somewhere to your left, casting strange shadows over your field of vision. Your eyes burn. You want to close them again.
“Yes, that’s it!” cries the whisperer, “stay with me!” There’s an urgency in their voice, and as you take a few measured breaths, you gain more and more control over your senses. “Are you hurt?”
Emily. That’s Emily’s voice.
“My head,” you complain about the throbbing in your temples. “I think I hit my head.” You move to touch the side of your skull to assess the damage when your wrists don’t follow through with the command from your brain.
“What the—” There’s a sudden clarity that takes over as you hear the clatter of metal against metal. Your wrists are bound behind your back. You kick your legs out, or at least you try to. They’re bound too with zip ties to the legs of a metal chair that’s bolted to the floor.
“Don’t panic.”
“Emily?”
Fingers brush against yours from behind your back and you cling to them, though it’s awkward as you try to reach them. You’d know the feel of her hands anywhere. He’s got you and her back to back.
“I’m here,” she says soothingly, despite the edge in her voice.
“What happened?” you ask as your field of vision begins to clear and the picture of where you’re being held begins to form. It's dark save the fluorescent light you noticed earlier. There’s a few panels in the ceiling still flickering to life, though most are dark. Wires and cables hang haphazardly from the ceiling and water drips from a cracked pipe that stretches over the width of the room. The floor beneath your feet is concrete. You can’t see a door and the only windows are two small rectangles high near the ceiling. You’re underground. “Where are we?”
“The Chameleon,” Emily says after a short while.
Your heart skips a beat and you have to take a few measured breaths to keep the panic from creeping in. “You’re sure?”
The Chameleon, nicknamed such by the local media, is a serial killer that you and the team had been chasing across the East Coast for the last two years.You and the team didn’t care much for these nicknames as they often sensationalize the killer and detract from the victims, but it the name was fitting due to his nature to blend in to every environment he’s been a part of. This is largely due to how he is able to gain his victims' trust. Some of his known ruses include posing as law enforcement, a member of the clergy, other first responders, caretaker for a “lost” elderly patient, and more. He’d feign a scenario that caused the victims to unlock their doors, stop their cars, or otherwise pull their focus under the guise of safety. Once their guard was down, that was all he needed to ensnare them in his trap. Victims were initially blitz attacked, as evident by the bruising to their heads and faces, but as he evolved he began to dose them with heavy sedatives before taking them to a secondary location where he’d hold them for twenty four hours. During this time, he tortured his victims indiscriminately; sometimes cutting, sometimes burning, sometimes removing pieces of them or utilizing a combination of all three before ultimately succumbing to his need to kill. He favored a knife, often slitting the throats of his victims once he’d grown tired of playing with them. Despite his ability to blend in and kidnap his victims undetected, everything else originally pointed to someone just starting out, unsure of their preferences. However, this unsub evolved quickly. Victimology stopped differing and he’d settled on a pattern for women in their thirties, dark features, and often in roles that provided some sort of power. Though methods of torture varied, the rotation or combination of torture implicated states similar enough to create a pattern. He stuck to the routine, though. One woman every three months for the last two years. That was until recently. Now, a woman had been going missing weekly, suggesting a major deviation. Something had changed for this unsub, increasing his need to kill quicker and more often. Emily fits the victimology, but taking you too? It didn’t make sense? He’d never taken in pairs before.
“Fuck,” you mutter. You pull at the cuffs around your wrists, but they’re clamped too tightly. They don’t budge. “How long was I out?” you ask.
“Hours,” Emily responds. She sounds tired. “I don’t know how many.”
You blindly reach for her fingers again, this time with your other hand. When you brush against them, they’re slick with something.
“Emily?” you ask, concern edging into your voice. “What’s he done to you?”
“Cutting,” Emily answers clinically. “Left arm, chest, and right leg. They’re superficial.”
Red clouds your vision knowing he’d hurt the woman you love, and that you’d not been conscious enough to at least try to do anything about it. When you get your hands around this bastard’s neck…you yank hard against your restraints and hiss when all it does is cause the metal to dig deeper into your wrists.
“Baby, stop,” Emily whispers, keeping her voice low in case The Chameleon can hear. “We’ve been closing in on this guy. We just have to hope the team recognizes we’re gone before…” her voice trails off as a door opens.
Your heart stops and then starts, it’s usually steady beat now pumping erratically against your chest. You remind yourself to breathe, to take measured breaths to slow your heart and fight off the instinct to panic. The body’s natural inclination for self-preservation is astounding, but you couldn’t just think about yourself right now. You needed to be alert and look for anyway to wriggle into this guy’s psyche, anything to keep him from hurting Emily any further.
There’s a metallic clank as whatever door that’s out of your eye line slams shut. Heavy footsteps echo in the space and you count. Twenty four. There’s twenty four steps. You can’t fight the way your body tenses as a silhouette begins to emerge from the shadows. As the figure comes into focus, your eyes widen in surprise.
“Surprised to see me?” the man says, a twisted smile curving on his
“You know him?” Emily asks as she attempts to crane her neck to look at him.
You take in the man before you: white, mid-30s, average build, dark curly hair, and blue eyes wild with evil intent. You don’t know his name, but you've seen him before. You all had. Your mind flashes to each body dump where the team had investigated and gathered initial evidence to further flesh out the profile. You close your eyes and let your mind’s eye expand your field of vision to include the gathering crowd of onlookers. As you mentally guide yourself through each crime scene, you can clearly see him.
“You were there the whole time,” you say with a surprisingly level of calm as you open your eyes and meet his gaze directly.
He extends his arms to either side, a look-at-all-i-have-accomplished gesture, though there’s no audience save the two of you to take in his performance. “What can I say?” he says. “The media named me for my ability to blend in anywhere I go. I like the nickname, I do.” He points his finger at you as he begins to circle around you and Emily like you’re an injured seal in shark infested waters. “Though you profilers don’t like when these major news outlets do that. It sensationalizes the killer while taking away from victims.” He stops in front of you and bends at the waist to look you in the eye. You muster as much contempt into your gaze as possible.
“Good,” he snarls. “Those sluts aren’t worth remembering anyway. Any thoughts on that, agent?”
You nod. “Yeah, actually, I think I’m pretty tired of listening to you whine about your mommy issues.” A fire ignites in his eyes as you say this. You smirk. “Ooo, that did something. Did that strike a nerve?”
His lip curls as he takes a shuddering breath.
“I think I did, didn’t I?”
His knuckles collide with your face and there’s an explosion of stars behind your eyes as you feel your lip split in two. Emily calls your name and curses the unsub’s. There’s a buzzing in your ears as you blink the fog away. You sit up as best as you can and spit blood onto the floor. If his attention is on you, it’s not on Emily.
“Is that the best you can do?” you say, leveling your gaze back on The Chameleon. “You had to hit me from behind the first time. Are you scared to face a woman head on? Too much of a coward to face them? Or are you just too weak?” You incline your head toward your lap. “After all, you’ve got us tied up. Untie me and we’ll see just how well you do one on one.”
The Chameleon seethes, nostrils flaring as his rage blossoms. “You know nothing!” he bites.
“We know, everything.” You answer. He may not have been on the team’s radar, but you’ve seen this type before; a man that’s been forced into a submissive role and emasculated his entire life finally snaps and turns the tables on innocent women to make up for the lack of care he missed out on from a mother figure his entire life. He blames them because he can’t take his anger out on the person he wants to most. Mommy.
“Do you?” he sneers and you don’t flinch away from his hot breath on your neck.
“You’re easier to read than a children’s nursery rhyme,” you taunt.
The Chameleon snarls and this time his knuckles collide with the center of your face and there’s a sickening crunch. Blood pours from your broken nose onto the front of your shirt.
“Enough!” Emily shouts. “She’s not the one you want.”
You blink through the haze and blaring pain. Emily’s name is garbled as you try to say it, but there’s too much blood in your mouth. Just like the flickering gaze of a reptile, his eyes shift instantly to her. The desire that alights his face makes you want to throw up. She’s the one that fits the victimology. She’s the surrogate, the object of desire in his twisted fantasy.
“I think,” he says slowly, and you’re surprised you don’t see a serpentine tongue flicker between his lips. “That this next part will be more fun with an audience.”
Your vision shifts in and out of focus as you follow his movements. He shuffles just out of view of your peripheral vision and trying to force your eyes to see farther than they can exacerbates the splitting pain in your skull and face. Everything throbs. You can hardly see straight.
He returns with a syringe in hand. He holds it up for you to see. “Maybe I am weak,” he says bitterly. “But I’m the one in control and there’s nothing you can do about it.” He pushes the syringe into your arm and a slow, metallic heat creeps through your veins. Your limbs quickly grow heavy and your senses begin to dull.
Behind you, Emily pulls at her restraints. “Hey! What are you giving her? Leave her alone. You don’t want her, you want me.”
A choked laugh escapes the unsub as he cuts the zip ties at your ankles. You want to kick out at him and knock that smug look off of his face but the signals from your brain are cut off. Your body won’t follow the command your mind is ordering due to the drugs scrambling your system. Your eyelids are heavy. You want to close them. The unsub recognizes this and slaps at your face. “No, no. You can’t close your eyes, now. You’ve got a show to watch.” His lips twist into a sickeningly delighted smile. He slips a key from his pocket and undoes both sets of cuffs keeping you bound to the chair. You slump forward against him and he catches your weight easily. He wraps his arms around your waist and grunts as he hoists you over his shoulder. There’s static coursing through your limbs and despite every wish and desire to lift even a finger, your limbs don’t cooperate.
You slide off of him like rain down a windowpane, though instead of coming to a gentle stop you hit the ground like a stone thrown into a pond; all of your weight crashing down. Your head rattles against the wall and stars explode across your vision once more.
Emily calls your name and you try to focus on that. You blink and her form comes into focus. She’s bound in the same manner that you were in a chair exactly like yours. There’s blood staining her clothes, her blouse cut to ribbons and her pant leg tattered from where he slit it open with a knife; the same knife he used to cut into skin. Blood drips onto the floor.
She smiles at you and her gaze is so tender as her eyes meet yours. “Whatever he does to me, it is not your fault.” She’s soothing you. She’s about to endure more torture and she’s trying to comfort you.
You want to speak, to tell her you’re sorry, that you love her. You want to stand, to untie her and take her to safety. Most of all you want to put that unsub in the ground. A single tear leaks from your eye as The Chameleon wheels a tray table near Emily. The soft eyes she reserved for you steel upon seeing him.
He picks up a scalpel, his fingers gentle as he curls them around it; a stark contrast to the violence he inflicts with it. “Let’s get started, shall we?”
Emily licks her lips and raises her chin to look him in the eye, defiant in the face of danger. “I’ve already come back from the dead once before. At least if you’re successful, I know whose ass I’m haunting first.” She narrows her brown eyes to slits. “Come on, lizard boy. Let’s dance.”
•
Tears leak down your cheeks as you’re forced to watch what he does to her. She continues to taunt him, but her voice has grown weak. She’s losing too much blood.
“I wonder,” Emily says, her breathing labored. She lifts her gaze to meet the unsub’s. “You love that knife.” She inclines her chin toward the blade in his hand and his fingers twitch. “Tell me, is it because you can’t get up? Are our mommy issues too severe?”
A wild scream tears from his throat as he backhands her. A sharp grunt of pain leaves her lips but no scream. She sheds no tears for him. She’ll show no fear to him and allow him to feed off of her emotions like he did with his other victims, but he knows she must be feeling the weight of the torture, of the exhaustion settling in.
Her voice is tired, but her words are dagger tipped. “You’re not a man,” she spits blood on the ground, her teeth stained with it as she bares them at him. “You’re just a coward, a little boy missing mommy’s hand to guide him through your pathetic, wayward life.” Each word is sharp and articulated, a needle digging a little deeper and deeper into his flesh with each cutting syllable.
“Enough!” he bellows, spittle flying from his mouth as he lifts his arm. In one swift downward motion, he plunges the scalpel into her thigh.
She screams, her voice ragged and raw. A panicked sound bubbles in your throat, but the drugs overpower your ability to call out to her. Your fingers twitch as you try to summon any amount of strength to them, but to no avail. You can’t move them anymore that. You try to wiggle your toes and only feel a tinge of movement from them. Tears leak down your cheeks and drip off of your chin. The tear stains left behind are cold overtop of the dried blood smeared across your face from your broken nose, still throbbing with pain.
Emily sits hunched over, her shoulders heave with shuddering breaths. She’s breathing. She’s alive. She’s alive. She’s alive. The thought plays on repeat in your mind. If she dies, there is no place this slimy, spineless creature can hide where you wouldn’t be able to find him.
A strangled moan rumbles from behind your lips as The Chameleon approaches Emily. There’s a smirk on his lips as he brushes his fingers along her jawline. Just as quickly as the smirk appears, it dissipates as he shoves her face away from him, disgust twisting his features.
“I think I’ve had enough of you,” he grits through clenched teeth. “You’re all the same. There is no place for women like you. I’m doing the world a favor by getting rid of you.” He picks up another knife off the tray table and moves to stand behind Emily, knife poised beneath her throat. His shifting eyes fall on you and his smile returns. “I hope you’ve enjoyed the show.”
You feel your brow pinch as a wash of emotion floods through you. Your hand twitches and you manage to ball it into a fist, but you can’t force much more than that.
“Emi—” your tongue lolls inside your mouth and you can’t get her name out but it’s enough to get her attention. Her wavering brown eyes fall on yours and you hope she can feel your full apology and profession of love in your eyes as you await the inevitable.
“I love you,” she mouths and a sob shudders free from your own.
A single gunshot cracks through the air like a whip.
As the unsub slumps to the ground, Derek’s hulking frame comes into view. “He’s down!” He calls as he holsters his weapon and rushes to Emily. His hand moves to the knife in her leg.
“Don’t!” Emily warns. “Let the medics handle it. The keys to the cuffs are in his pocket.”
As Derek squats beside the unsub Hotch and Spencer clamber down the stairs, spilling into the room.
“We need medics,” Derek says to them, eyes filled with concern. “We need them now.”
“Copy that,” Spencer states as he presses against his earpiece and relays the information.
Hotch holsters his gun and rushes to your side. Crouching down, his hands smooth your hair back from your face to inspect the damage.
“Can you hear me?” he says. You blink heavily as his face comes in and out of focus. He repeats the question and says your name. He’s asking you to talk to him, but you can’t.
“He injected her with something,” Emily says weakly as Derek works to uncuff her. “A sedative or a paralytic, I don’t know. She can’t move. She can’t, she can’t—” Emily’s eyes flutter and roll back in her head. Your eyes widen as she slumps forward. Derek catches her before she can face plant the concrete and risk dislodging the scalpel sticking out of her thigh before the medics can do their job to ensure she’s not at risk of bleeding out, if she wasn’t already.
Your hand twitches, fingers jerking against your palm as a sound of desperation eeks past your still lips. Hotch presses his hand into yours and squeezes. His hard eyes meet yours and there’s pain and understanding in them. He’s born witness to seeing the love of his life killed by an unsub. It was something he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy. He had to hope that Emily would survive what she’d endured here tonight. He squeezes all of that hope into your palm as the medics crash down the steps, backboards and kits at the ready.
“She’ll be okay,” Hotch promises, though there’s a hint of doubt on the edge of his words. “You’ll be okay.”
As the medics make way and his hand slips free from yours, you can only hope and pray that what he says is true.
•
A gentle beeping is the first thing you hear as your senses slowly creep back to life. The sound is soft, but each punctuated tone sends a pulse of pain to the space behind your eyes.
Your eyes crack open and you squeeze them shut again as the bright white of the fluorescent lighting blinds you.
“Shit,” you hiss. Your voice is hoarse.
“Hey, you!” greets a female voice. Penelope’s voice.
“Too bright,” you grumble.
“Oh! Hold on!” Her heels click against the tile of the hospital floor, a switch flicks, and the light behind your eyelids darkens. You feel the relief immediately though the bruising around your eyes and throbbing pain reverberating through your nose and cheeks starts to overwhelm your senses as you become more alert.
You crack one eye and Penelope’s bright face comes into view. Her pink cat eared headband matches her glasses frames and lipstick. Her smile reaches her eyes and that only just eases some of the anxiety that floods your system, the only other thing you’re able to feel besides the pain. If Emily was dead, Penelope wouldn’t be able to look you in the eye right now.
“I need to see her,” you say, sitting up and immediately regretting it. The room spins and your hand flies to your head, fingers pressed against your temple in a poor attempt to stop the whirling sensation.
“Sweetie, oh my God, don’t—” she stands up and crosses the room, but you’re already pushing the sheets back.
You curse as you rip the IV from your arm, the tape holding it in place ripping out the hairs on your arm. Garcia tries to take hold of your hands, but you bury them inside the folds of the hospital gown as your fingers feel for the numerous electrodes tacked to your chest. Hooking the tips of your fingers around the wire once you find a place to bunch them together, one swift tug is all it takes to dislodge them. The machine beside the bed flat lines as it no longer receives your heart rate.
“Honey please don’t make me—” Her face scrunches as you move to stand. She sticks her arms out to block you from doing so “Oh, you’re going to make me, ok— Derek! Hotch!”
Her shouts are like a drill through your skull. You blink and black spots your vision as it blurs. The pain in your face is so intense, but you have to push through it. If Emily could endure what she did, you can push through this to get to wherever the hell they were keeping her in this goddamn hospital.
Hotch and Derek burst into the room, eyes frantic and scanning the scene. Morgan swiftly cuts through the space, swerving in front of Penelope and taking you by the arms. Garcia may have hesitated to stop you in your tracks but Derek has no reservations whatsoever.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asks sternly.
Two nurses rush into the room and Hotch placates them with a gesture implying things are under control . He says something to them in a low voice and they glance your way once before nodding and leaving the space.
“I need to see her,” you say as you push against Derek, but in your current state you may as well be trying to push the Leaning Tower of Pisa upright.
His grip around your wrists is firm, but gentle; his hands placed just above the bandages from where the cuffs had bitten into your skin.
“She’s not awake yet,” Derek says. His features soften as he looks into your panic filled eyes. “She’s stable. She’ll be okay, and I promise you that the minute she wakes up I will take you to see her.”
“But Derek—”
He clicks his tongue. “No buts. You’re no use to her if you’re not well. You nearly overdosed on the drugs that man gave you. He broke your nose so badly, they had to re-break it to set it correctly. You have a concussion. Are you hearing me? You need to get your ass back in that bed.”
“Honey, listen to him.” Garcia adds, her voice equal parts soothing and concerned. “You can barely stand.”
You squeeze your eyes shut as hot tears well in your eyes. They slip down your cheeks and seep into the medical tape plastered to your face and nose. You draw in a shuddering breath as Derek guides you back into the bed. He presses a warm hand to your shoulder before stepping back and putting an arm around Garcia.
“Come on, mama, let’s go get a coffee while the nurses get her hooked back in.”
Penelope’s mouth drops into an o-shape as if she’s about to protest.
“I’ll stay with her,” Hotch assures her. “Go. I’ll call if anything changes.” That comforts her enough to let Derek steer her out of the room and into the hallway.
As the sound of their footsteps fade away, Hotch exhales a heavy sigh. The heels of his loafers click against the tile as he crosses the room and takes the chair Penelope had been occupying at your bedside.
“How are you feeling?” he asks as he reaches over and presses the call button to summon the nurses.
“Like someone cracked me in the face with a sledgehammer.”
A hint of a smile passes over your supervisor’s lips and a ghost of a laugh passes your own. You wince as the motion sends a new wave of pain rippling throughout your face.
“How bad is it?” you ask.
“The doctors say it should heal fine. They’re baffled that the break didn’t do any damage to your septum. The bruising will take time but you won’t need surgery so—”
You lift your eyes to meet his. “Not me, Hotch.”
His lips press into a firm line. “She lost a lot of blood,” he says after a moment. “In total, he cut her about fifteen times before stabbing her. She was right to tell Morgan not to pull the scalpel out. It was dangerously close to her femoral artery. The unsub was either incredibly calculated in avoiding it or it was dumb luck that saved her.”
Your brow pinches as his words sink in. “What was his name?”
Hotch’s chin dips in response to your question. “Carson Peters. He was a Vet Tech on the perimeter of the geographic profile. We never even interviewed him.”
“The whole time we never knew his name,” you breathe.
“If I know Emily, I’m sure she came up with a few,” Hotch remarks, trying to lighten the mood.
Your lips twitch, but a smile doesn’t take shape. There is an entire slew of names you’d wanted to hurl at the unsub, to say anything that would have taken his attention off of Emily for even a second but you couldn’t because of the drugs he’d pumped into you. You squeeze your eyes shut as an image of him cutting Emily flashes through your mind.
Hotch says your name. You hear the deep tenor of his voice, but it’s as though you’re underwater. Emily’s cries of anguish echo in your ears.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper as a tear leaks from the corner of your eyes. “Emily, I’m sorry.”
A firm hand slips into yours and you gasp, flinching from the contact. The image distorts and vanishes. You open your eyes and take a deep breath, dropping your gaze onto the hand in yours. You lift your eyes to meet Hotch’s hard stare. His fingers squeeze around yours and he nods.
“You’re safe,” he assures you. “Carson Peters is dead. He can’t hurt you, Emily, or anyone else ever again.”
Your fingers twitch around his as you blink back the onslaught of tears that want to pour out of you. “I couldn’t do anything.”
Hotch’s features soften. “I know.”
“I couldn’t stop him.”
“There’s nothing you could’ve done.”
You swallow the growing lump in your throat. Hotch squeezes your hand again, intentionally doing so to keep your mind from wandering. He’s keeping you grounded.
Your voice cracks when you speak. “I felt so helpless.”
“I know,” Hotch states as he levels his gaze on hours. His brown eyes waver as he speaks. “Witnessing a loved one’s abuse and not being able to do anything about it is a torture all its own. In our positions we have the authority to do something about it and in most cases, we can. When we can’t,” he pauses and takes a deep breath. “It’s natural to play it over and over again, to wonder where you went wrong, to think that somewhere along the line you could’ve done something, anything, to change the outcome.” His brow lifts toward his hairline. “We will kill ourselves ruminating on the what ifs and what could have beens.”
We. He’s not just talking about you anymore. He’s talking about his past when the unsub George Foyet killed his wife, Haley. You’d joined the team several years after her murder, but you’d been briefed fully on the case. It was well known to everyone in the BAU.
It’s your turn to squeeze his hand and you realize how out of the ordinary this exchange is. You’re as close to Hotch as anyone else on the team, but he’s not usually the touchy-feely type; the occasional half hug or handshake sure, but this level of vulnerability is uncommon.
A nurse walks into the room and Hotch stands to greet her. He shakes her hand and introduces himself formally; name, rank, and title. Establishing credibility for what, you wonder. He speaks in low tones and after a moment the nurse looks at you before looking back at him. She nods her head and he thanks her before she exits the room.
“What was that about?” you ask.
“A favor,” he answers as the nurse guides a wheelchair into the room.
“Five minutes,” the nurse says, aiming a pointed look at Hotch.
“Understood.”
The nurse leaves and Hotch pushes the chair up to the edge of the bed. He slips a hand behind your back to help stabilize you as he extends his other hand for you to grab hold of.
“Where are we going?” you ask as you take the proffered hand. You groan as you sit up and your head spins. You swear you can feel every bone in your face throbbing as pain threatens to split you in two.
“To see Emily.”
Your heart swells. You look at Hotch, eyes widening. “I thought—”
“I told the nurse you’d stay put and allow them to do their jobs and help you if you were allowed to see her. Hence, the five minutes.”
“Five minutes,” you repeat, nodding your head.
Hotch smiles reassuringly. “Five minutes.”
Slowly, Hotch assists with the transition from bed to chair. The shift exhausts you and it sinks in just how weak you are. However, the prospect of seeing Emily keeps you alert enough to push through.
The trip to Emily’s hospital room is short. She’s two right turns and one long hallway away from yours. The door to her room is cracked when you arrive and JJ opens it as Hotch reaches for the door.
“Sweetie!” JJ smiles brightly at you, though her eyes are tired. She leans down to pull you in a gentle hug, minding your face as she does so.
Her eyes flit between you and Hotch. “She’s in and out of consciousness. They’ve got her on some pretty strong painkillers, but she’s going to be alright.”
“Are you ready?” Hotch asks.
Your heart hammers in your ears, but you nod your head and whisper, “Yes.”
JJ steps out of the way so Hotch can wheel you inside the room. You raise your chin to peer over the threshold and whimper upon seeing Emily, hand moving to cover your trembling lips. She lies still beneath the sheets, which are pulled up over her lap. Her arms sit atop the sheet, her left arm bandaged from above the elbow to her wrist. Bandages peek out from beneath her hospital gown. An oxygen cannula is fitted under her nose and butterfly bandages hold close the split in her eyebrow. Hotch puts the brake in place after wheeling you right up to her bedside. He places a gentle hand on your shoulder. “JJ and I will be right outside. Five minutes,” he says.
Your eyes don’t leave Emily. “I understand.”
When the door clicks shut you let the floodgates open. You take Emily’s hand in yours, minding the IV jutting out from it, and cradle it to your cheek. “I’m so sorry,” you sob. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t do anything to stop what he was doing to you.”
You blink away the stars that dot your vision as each sob sends an intense wave of pain through the break in your nose and bruising under your eyes.
Emily’s thumb sweeps slowly across your cheek. You take a shuddering breath and swallow your tears as you turn your attention to her. Her eyes crack open and a small smile ghosts her lips.
You gasp and choke back a sob. The smile that splits your face sends a burst of pain through your bones, but you don’t care. It doesn’t matter. You’d feel this pain and all that she endured to see her warm, brown eyes on yours like they are now. Her smile, despite the pain meds dulling her senses, reaches her eyes and they’re so bright. As you look into them, for a moment you’re no longer in the hospital. You’re on a bench overlooking the Potomac and the sun is setting; its golden rays falling over Emily’s face and her eyes changed from brown to liquid gold. It was then you knew you’d never love looking into someone’s eyes as much as you loved looking into hers, that you’d never love anyone as much as you loved her.
You blink once and you’re back in the hospital. “I’m so sorry,” you blubber and clutch her hand to your chest. “Baby, I’m so sorry.”
Her voice is hoarse when she speaks, but the way she says your name is as soothing as ever. She shushes you and presses her fingers into your skin as she grips your hand. “Shh, baby, honey, look at me.”
You swallow and try your best to still your quivering lip as you raise your eyes to hers. Hers are focused as she looks at you. Her perfectly manicured eyebrows arch toward her hairline as she inclines her head toward you. “There is nothing that you could’ve done that would’ve prevented this, and that is okay.”
You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head in refusal.
“Hey,” Emily says, pulling you back in. “Look at me.”
You sniff and take a deep breath as you open your eyes. “If anything,” she adds. “Your being there saved my life. He drew out the torture because he had an audience. If you hadn’t been there, there’s a chance he would’ve killed me before the team got to him. Do you understand?”
Your gut response tells you that she’s right, and you have to fight the part of your brain that’s telling you otherwise.
Her hand slips out of yours and reaches to cup your face, keeping her palm along your jawline to avoid your injuries.
She smiles and gestures to herself with her other hand. “Most of this is superficial anyway. The knife he jammed into my thigh will scar and take a while to heal, but that’s the worst that was done to me. I was,” she presses her lips together as tears glisten in her eyes. “I was so worried about you.”
Something between a laugh and a sob escapes your lips. “We make quite a pair, don’t we?”
Emily laughs in turn, the sound enough to make your heart swell three times over. “At least we’ll be able to spend our recovery together,” she says hopefully.
You smirk and tilt your head, considering. “My place or yours?”
Just then the door creaks open and Hotch steps inside. He smiles. “Sorry to cut the reunion short, but if I don’t get you back, I think the charge nurse will have my gun and badge.”
You all share a laugh. As he fixes the brake on the wheelchair, Emily tugs your hand toward her mouth and places a soft kiss to the backs of your knuckles. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
You smile and nod as the tight feeling in your chest from before ebbs away. “Okay.”
As Hotch exits the room with you in tow, JJ hands you two cups of coffee. “For you and your watchdog,” she says with a nod towards Hotch.
You thank her and as Hotch pushes you back towards your room, you finally feel like things will be okay.
•
Two weeks later, you’re still on medical leave, but you feel as though you're getting back to normal. You’d been released from the hospital first and a few days later, Emily. Her apartment was bigger, so you’d gone to yours and with help from Penelope packed a bag. It was easier for you two to be in the same place knowing how often the team would be checking in.
Garcia had stayed over with you, helping you keep track of the medications the doctors had prescribed. She helped take care of Sergio too. The little guy had been all too happy to see you, weaving in between your legs and rubbing his furry head against your calves. When Emily returned home a few days later he couldn’t stop meowing. When she rested, he’d fall asleep beside her or curled up in her lap.
Just as expected, members of the team had been through in pairs, on their own, or as a whole. Penelope stopped in daily with coffees and pastries from the shop next to Emily’s building. Derek came by every other day, occasionally with Savannah when her work schedule allowed. She’d checked Emily’s wounds a few times from your insisting as you were worried about infection. Savannah assured you each time that Emily was and would continue to be fine so long as she kept up with changing her bandages and taking the antibiotics she’d been prescribed. Hotch had only visited once, which was unnecessary but still so kind of him. You knew he often stayed late working to ensure everyone else could go home on time. He did this all while balancing his responsibility as a father and the fact that he sacrificed a little bit more of his personal time just to check in on you two meant so much. Rossi had sent homemade Italian with Penelope or Derek. This week you’d been given enough carbonara to feed an army.
You’re fixing two bowls now for you and Emily, a late dinner as you’d both fallen asleep around 3pm and napped until 7pm no thanks to the pain medicines that kept you two on relatively similar sleep schedules. You shred some parmesan and sprinkle it over the top before sticking a fork into each.
“I’ve got dinner!” you call as you make your way back to the bedroom.
“Thank god, I’m starving.” You push open the door with your hip and place the bowls on Emily’s bedside table.
You lean down and kiss her, wincing slightly. The bruising around your eyes and cheekbones has gone down dramatically, but your nose was still bound and held in place by a splint and medical tape. The doctors say in about a week or so, it should be healed completely but to still exercise caution with day to day activities.
Emily rests on top of the covers. Her hair is up and out of her face in a loose ponytail, pieces of which had fallen out while sleeping and now stick to and around her face in various places. You try your best to smooth them down before cupping her chin in your hand. You smile and stroke your fingers along the smooth skin of her jaw before dropping your hands to pull the throw blanket down off of her waist, exposing her legs, bare except for the plaid pajama shorts she wears and bandages wrapped around her thigh.
She shivers in response to the air against her legs. “Sheesh, give a girl some warning!” she protests and you throw her a cheeky grin.
You open the bedside drawer and retrieve the supplies to clean and dress her wound. “We should finish the rest of that movie,” you suggest as you climb onto the bed to kneel beside her. Using a small pair of scissors, you carefully snip away the bandages to reveal the square gauze pad covering the wound. “I want to know how it ends and we keep falling asleep.”
Emily snorts. “That’ll happen when we both take narcotics before bed thinking we’ll make it to the end.”
“Yeah, but,” you remove the gauze and inspect the incision, searching for any signs of infection around the twelve carefully placed stitches. As you squeeze a bit of the antibacterial ointment onto your finger and gently rub it over the spiky black threads of the sutures, you can’t help but think of how much it resembles the caterpillars that used to invade the trees in your backyard as a kid, a story Emily did not care for your retelling when you first did this. “It shouldn’t be so hard to make it through a two hour movie.”
“I still can’t believe you’ve never seen The Parent Trap,” Emily says, bristling as your fingers rub over a particularly sensitive area.
You apologize as you lay a fresh gauze pad over the wound. Your fingers move quickly as you unroll and wind a new roll of bandages to keep the gauze in place. When you finish, you wipe your hands off and gently massage the skin around her thigh knowing it helps to stimulate blood flow to the area.
Emily moans in response to the treatment. Her head lolls to the side and she peeks at you from behind long lashes. “I can’t wait to show you how grateful I am for your incredible nursing skills.”
You arch a brow at her as a smile quirks at the corner of your mouth. “Down girl,” you tease playfully.
Emily bends her opposite leg, raising her heel to curve around your body. She pokes her toes up under your tee shirt and your back stiffens as they touch your skin. You reach behind your back and grab her by the ankle, chastising her as you laugh and place it back on the mattress. “Emily!”
“What??” she asks, laughter tumbling from her full lips.
“We’ve not been cleared yet for that!”
She pouts in response and you clamber over her, carefully, so as not to disturb the injuries of her leg. You straddle her waist and lean down to place a soft kiss along the curve of her jaw. “Trust me, I want to get back to that as much as you do.” Your eyes drop to the swell of her breasts, her nipples poking through the thin fabric of her camisole. “But you and I both know neither one of us are capable of having gentle sex, and I don’t think our doctors would be happy if we did anything to make this take any longer than it already is.”
Emily groans in frustration. “Stupid doctors and their stupid orders.”
You laugh as you lean down to grab your dinners off her nightstand. Carefully, you lift your leg and roll over her body to your side of the bed; passing Emily her bowl as you do so. You reach down and pull the throw blanket up over both of you as you snuggle into the uninjured half of her body. She turns and places a kiss on your temple as she grabs the remote and clicks on the tv.
As she twirls pasta around on her fork, she turns to you and smiles. “I’m glad you’re here with me,” she says, eyes twinkling.
You smile in turn. “I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be than with you here, right now, at this moment in time.”
“I love you,” she says.
“Not as much as I love you,” you answer.
“Impossible,” Emily promises.
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Good for nothing- BAU team.
Summary: On a case, you run into a figure from your past that you harbour a lot of anger about. It’s about time you unleash it.
Warnings: Vulgar language, Bad breakup, toxic relationship, cheating (main theme), descriptive language about being caught cheating, manipulation and mentions of controlling, abusive relationship.
Pairing: BAU team x fem!reader (platonic).
Word count: 1,543.
"Y/N?" Ice ran through my veins as the disgustingly familiar voice filled my ears. My fingers hesitated from where I had been rearranging pictures on our board, twitching in annoyance. I could feel the eyes of my team on me as they waited for me to answer the voice.
"Adam," I shot out through gritted teeth. Of course, it was just my luck my ex-fiancé would turn up when we were on a case.
"What're you doing here?" I took a breath, composing my face before turning towards him with a blank stare. Why the fuck did he think I was here? Was there a circus in town? If so god knows he'd fit in seamlessly.
"I'm working," I bit back the urge to add 'obviously' to the end of my statement. "This is my team, my job." He looked slightly lost as his eyes flitted around the room, unsure of the many eyes flickering between us.
"Oh, I see. Well, I guess I'll speak with you later." He attempted a smile but it looked more like a grimace, spinning on his heels and practically running to the exit.
"Like hell, you will," I muttered under my breath, suppressing a shudder of disgust as I watched him scamper away. I switched my attention back to the room, a few looks of amusement being thrown my way.
"So, Adam?" JJ's voice was playful and teasing but I fake gagged, imitating throwing up so she got the gist of my emotion towards the cop. "Oh, no Adam huh?"
"Not unless you want your heart ripped out and stomped in the mud honey, no Adam." I spat, the name feeling dirty in my mouth, before returning to my work.
A couple of days had passed since Adam had made his presence known and we had managed to close the case, catch the unsub and deliver the victims back to their families safely, but I couldn't get rid of the itch of annoyance in the pit of my stomach. Realistically I knew it was because when I broke up with him I had left without a word and never dealt with the shit he'd put me through and now I was presented with the opportunity to blow up and let it out.
We were back in the precinct packing up all of the evidence and case notes before we left, collecting what we needed before the trip back to Quantico when he surfaced again, lingering in the doorway like a bad smell. I finally noticed him when he cleared his throat and shuffled into the room.
"Y/N, are you free for that talk now?" I bit back a grin at his audacity and straightened up from the table, glancing his way momentarily before my eyes met Rossi's who shrugged and helped Hotch with files.
"Nope." I popped the P, smiling at him sweetly.
"This is the least you could do Y/N, seriously." The hair on the back of my neck stood as I clenched my fits, nails digging into my palms. "You're the one that left remember." I let out a shaky breath, closing my eyes for a moment as I took in his words. I should've known this was the road he would take. It always was my fault. It didn't matter how big or how small, he never did anything wrong and damaged me enough for me to still hold bad habits from it to this day like apologising for everything and finding fault in every minute of my existence.
"The least I could do?" I seethed, back straightening and eyes staring daggers into him as the tension in the room became suffocating. The air became still as my team stopped in their tracks, wary of how I was reacting. "The least I could do."
"Yeah, that's what I said," his voice shook slightly but he pushed his shoulders back challenging me and staring at me down his nose.
"Of course," I spoke with a sickly sweet voice, "what is it you want to say, Adam?" I smiled at him, coating my anger in sugar as he nodded like he was entitled to this.
"You up and left. The month before our wedding. You broke my heart and I think I deserve an explanation, a reason." He feigned his sadness, eyes sparkling with something twisted as my team stared at me in shock.
"I broke your heart?" I questioned, still sweet enough to cause him some cavities. "Oh, I do apologise. I didn't think it would hurt you that much, you poor thing." The sarcasm practically dripped from my mouth, my eyes portraying fake sympathy as I leant on the edge of the table, close to where Spencer practically gawped at the shit going down. "Tell me Adam, did I break your heart when I cancelled the wedding, or when I took all my stuff whilst you were at work the following day or when I keyed your car. Did that hurt?"
"Yes it hurt, we were supposed to be together forever. You and me against the world and you shrugged it off like I meant nothing." I looked around the room, met with amusement from Derek, shock from JJ, Spencer and Emily and indifference from Aaron and David but I let their emotions spur me on.
"Maybe you could have remembered that when I found you in our home, in our bed, balls deep in some other wining bitch whilst I had just picked out our flowers and cake for our wedding because you said you were working a long shift. Maybe you could have remembered that when I gave you a second chance after the first time I found a girl with your cock buried down her throat on our sofa or maybe that was just me overreacting right. Maybe I should have stayed and lived out a miserable good-for-nothing husband who would rather fuck some random whore that his own wife." My voice had risen in volume as I ranted out angrily, aware of how Derek's amusement had fallen and instead, he had stepped closer to me as if trying to provide comfort and protection. Hyper aware of how tense my team had become as if all wound up to spring into action if I flew at the asshole before me. But the one thing I was most aware of was the way his facade had dripped and instead of the poor little man with the sad story he had become the controlling, self-serving ass I unfortunately knew too well.
"You wouldn't have come home to that if you did your duty as a girlfriend properly, not my fault you never fully satisfied anyone." I held back my flinch as the sting from his word spread through my chest. "I'll bet you don't sleep at night."
"You think you have that big of an impact on my life?" I laughed, packing away long forgotten. "You think I can't function now just because you decided I wasn't enough for you?" My smile was sour and wicked, amusement getting the better of me. "Let me tell you something sweetheart, I couldn't give less of a shit about you anymore if I tried. Yeah, it hurt, fuck me it felt like hell knowing I wasn't enough but then I realised that I had the world at my fingertips and boy did that feel good. I didn't dwell on little old you for long Adam, I went out and made the world my bitch. My only regret is I didn't cut off your dick and feed it to you for being a snivelling, conniving cunt that thinks so lowly of women and poisons any he gets close to. So, was that explanation enough for you?" I asked with a smile, ignoring the way my heart pounded my ribcage and my stomach bubbled.
"Fuck you, you whore." Adam ground out, finally realising he wasn't going to win this competition and I wasn't going to bow to him and cower with fear of disappointing him. With a red face and neck, hands shaking with anger he span around and stormed away.
"You wish!" I yelled after him, a satisfied smile on my face as he slammed the door. Taking a deep shuddering breath, I collected myself, rolling my shoulders and pulling at my shirt sleeves before facing my team with a calm smile.
"That was kinda hot." I burst out in laughter as Emily blurted out, the tension melting away from me. A few laughs made their rounds in the room and I took a seat, knees shaking as the adrenaline faded from my body.
"But seriously, why didn't you say anything? If I'd have known he worked here then I would've found a way for you to work away from him." Hotch questioned, concern in his eyes.
"Honestly, I didn't know, he must've moved towns." I shrugged, "But in fairness, it felt good getting that out of my system. God knows I've waited long enough."
"On a serious note, I think we should let you get pissed off more often." Emily continued with a grin, winking at me suggestively.
"Yeah, I second that." Derek laughed, pulling me into a side hug, his warmth settling my thundering heartbeat.
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