#derek has trust issues

[hotchner-edu]

Not Family | Aaron Hotchner

Synopsis: You are the youngest agent on the team and you greatly admire Aaron. When you make a critical error on the field, you realize that maybe your bond was all in your head. — part 2 here

Pairing: Father-figure!Aaron Hotchner x BAU!Reader (Platonic)

Warning: angst, hurt/no comfort, fluff if you close your eyes, daddy issues

The prickling sensation running down your neck and spine made your fingers shake and your eyes sting. Humiliation and shame painting every fiber of your being, your head hanging low as your face burned.

“You could have cost us the entire case!” Hotch yelled, voice echoing around the entire police precinct as he chewed you out in front of the entire station.

You could feel the team staring at the exchange, giving you looks of pity behind your back. Hotch was notorious for being stern and no nonsense when it came to work, but he never yelled at you.

You were the youngest agent on the BAU team, Spencer’s junior by a year, but just as capable as your colleagues. Or at least that’s what you had worked yourself up to believe.

It felt like your entire self-confidence was being decimated by the man in front of you. The error you made had been quite serious, but you didn’t think it warranted this degree of fury from your boss.

You had naively and selfishly begun to look up to him as an almost father figure, having confided in him about your trauma regarding your birth father. It was something you both connected on early in your career on the team.

In a way, Hotch had always been a bit soft on you because of that. But by the way he was going red in the face and yelling down at you, it seemed maybe it was just all in your head.

Being the youngest, you were a bit babied. You had always been a bit sensitive when it came to the team, having let them into your heart a long time ago. Unfortunately, this meant you hadn’t prepared yourself adequately.

“I apologize, sir. It’s completely my fault. It won’t happen again.” You spoke meekly, feeling like your words and movements were being controlled by someone else.

You were certain you were tearing up a bit, feeling trapped by the verbal beating Hotch was giving you.

“What the hell were you thinking? How much longer do we all have to hold your hand for? We need to be able to trust that you’re capable enough to work out on the field.” He seethed, eyes glaring through you like you were just another incompetent subordinate.

“Hey, Hotch. Lay off, okay? She’s already apologized. We all make mistakes. We still have a shot at taking this guy down.” Derek swoops in, stepping forward to try and placate the man.

Hotch doesn’t even shift his gaze away from you. “We don’t work with inept agents on the field.”

If it were possible to crumble away into dust, you were certain you’d be a heap of it on the ground below you. His words felt like a knife through your chest, burning through your veins and leaving a chill on your body as you felt glued to the floor.

Why was he being like this?

That’s all you could think as Hotch finally decided he’s had enough of you for one day. You hear his footsteps growing more distant as he marches off further into the station.

You’re staring at the carpeted floor with an almost empty gaze, the pain you were feeling likely written all over your face as the tears start falling.

The feeling of Derek’s hand on your shoulder rouses you a bit from your wallowing as you glance up at him. Whatever he sees on your face has his expression softening further.

“Hey, Hotch was out of line speaking to you like that. We all make mistakes. Hell, we’ve all made similar calls in the past. No one expects you to be perfect.” He speaks softly. You brave a glance past his shoulder and see the rest of your team gazing at you with sympathy.

“Not perfect, just good enough.” You whisper back, trying to convey the tornado of emotions and insecurities being unleashed inside of you.

Derek seems a bit stumped by your words, clearly trying to think of a way to comfort you. The overbearing feeling of eyes on you has your nerve endings burning, and you need to flee before the team sees further proof of your weakness.

“Excuse me.” You whisper softly and hurry past everyone, stepping out of the suffocating environment and into the quiet bathroom.

The fluorescent lights of the bathroom beat down on you as you sniffle and suppress a sob, fumbling with your phone as you call the first person you can think of. The person you’d run to for anything when Hotch wasn’t available.

“Hello, my sunshine darling! I thought you’d never call.” Penelope’s boisterous voice rings out.

“Penelope.” You say softly, sniffling and gazing at yourself in the mirror. Your face was red and your eyes were already swollen as tears continually stream down your cheeks.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Her voice immediately grows softer as she becomes the embodiment of concern.

You sob softly and your face scrunches up from the turmoil you were feeling. “I fucked up. Hotch yelled at me.”

Saying those words out loud made the situation sound extremely juvenile, and you can’t help the grimace that paints your face.

Despite having called Penelope to try and ease your pain, you were starting to feel even worse now. You couldn’t even handle being reprimanded by your boss, and now you were running for help. You felt like a complete idiot, blinded by the self-conjured notion that Hotch viewed you as anything but a naive agent.

It was a work team, not a family. How many times would you need to learn that lesson before you’d stop leaning so heavily on them?

“I’m sorry, honey. You know how he can get, especially now with everything going on with Haley. I’m sure he doesn’t mean it.” Penelope reassures you, reminding you of the man’s snappish demeanor since his divorce proceedings.

You keep staring at your reflection, not sure how to continue the conversation as you start feeling utterly alone. Penelope was a busy person, did she really have the time to listen to your woes and self-pitying?

“I’m sorry, Penelope. You’re right. I need to go.” You whisper and hang up before she can say anything else.

That night, you mutely continue working on the case before heading back to your hotel room, ignoring the concerned looks being passed between the team as you robotically work.

While laying in bed that night, you reassure yourself that you’d survive this long relying on yourself. It would be a burden for Hotch if you continued viewing him as a father figure. You could live without having one.

The next day, you all manage to locate the unsub again after your previous mistake that allowed him to flee the day prior. The team is rushing to the cars, bulletproof vests and ear comms on.

It seems that they all have an unspoken agreement to let you go ride with Hotch, silently pushing you both together so you could patch things up.

However, all it does is create an awkward tension in the car ride over as both you and Hotch remain quite stubborn.

You knew Hotch wanted to focus on the case before anything else, and you were too wounded to initiate conversation with him.

“Stay behind me.” Hotch commands softly when you both arrive at the location, a large factory that the unsub previously worked at.

Nodding a bit, you silently follow after him, gun out and safety off.

The entire warehouse is dimly lit and filled with winding hallways, putting you all at a disadvantage since the only person familiar with the layout of the building was the unsub.

It takes you both almost ten minutes before you finally stumble upon the man. Emily had managed to find him first and had her gun raised, trying to talk him down as he had his own gun pointed at her.

When you and Hotch slowly file into the room, guns pointed at him as well, he lets out a loud laugh.

He waves his gun between the three of you as Hotch begins to question him, telling him to not do anything he’ll regret.

You stay silent and glance at Hotch, his words reminding you of everything that occurred the day before.

The unsub sees you and seems to figure out rather quickly the dynamic between the three of you, singling you out as the weakest link.

“One more. I can have one more.” The unsub spits out with a crazed smile.

“Put the gun down.” Hotch commands, voice rising as his patience grows thinner.

The unsub smiles widely and shakes his head. “I’ll take one more. Then everyone will see… They’ll understand! So, let’s see how far loyalty goes.”

It’s almost as if time moves in slow motion from then. The confusion you feel from his words quickly melts away when you see his finger pull the trigger, his gun aimed at Hotch, but his gaze focused on you.

You understood it then, what his objective was. He was a man who felt scorned by the world after everyone he trusted abandoned him, from his friends and family to his supervisor. You all understood the profile, yet somehow no one anticipated that he’d try to test his motive again on the team. 

You drop your gun instinctively and immediately turn to push Hotch out of the way with all the strength you can muster.

You’re unaware of Emily’s gun going off, a bullet piercing through the unsub’s temple as one punctures through you right above the collar of the bulletproof vest and into the base of your neck.

Your eyes are closed before you even hit the floor.

Hotch’s eyes immediately fly toward your crumpled figure as he lifts himself off the floor with his arm. His heart stops, looking at the bullet wound gaping through you— mocking him.

He’s scrambling toward you as the wind is knocked from his lungs, his voice loud and panicked as he screams for Emily to call for medical assistance.

He hovers over you, frantically trying to feel for a pulse with one hand and using the other to put pressure on the bleeding wound.

“Come on, sweetheart. Open your eyes. Please, open your eyes.” He whispers, feeling like he was being doused in ice cold water over and over again. 

Yes, he was certain— it was because of his own drumming heartbeat that he couldn’t feel yours. His fingers are pressed into your pulse points, eyes flying wildly over your face as he wills you to open your eyes.

When he finally regains his bearings a bit and calms his racing heart, he feels his world completely stop when he can’t find a heartbeat.

part 2 here

[pretty-random-writer]

Clueless

___

Pairing(s): Spencer Reid x Autistic!Reader

Word Count: 1.1K

Summary: You and Spencer are oblivious. But maybe you two aren’t the only ones who are… ||| Based on this request

Warning(s): reader is gender neutral (not really a warning but whatever), Spencer is implied to be autistic too, secret relationship (?)

A/N: This is NOT my best writing. But I tried! Hope you enjoy & feel free to request!!!

Main Masterlist

||| Do NOT plagiarize, repost, or translate any of my work in any way. Thank you. |||

___

Spencer Reid is smart. Everyone knows this is in the BAU. I mean, what average person just has an IQ of 187? People can be shocked about how many facts and statistics he knows just on the top of his head. Or how he can beat almost anyone in a chess match. So, yeah, he’s really smart. 

But there is something that only a few people know about him.

He is clueless. So clueless. 

When the anybody would make a joke, Spencer would have a difficult time deciphering it. His issue was that he took these jokes literally. Because, in his mind, it’s just like a case. Because maybe if he could figure out what the joke meant, he would finally get it. 

The BAU team knew Spencer was clueless in those types of circumstances. And they had no problem explaining to him what they meant. That was until a new person entered the team.

When you first started your job at the BAU, everything went well. You met the team, did some paperwork, and called it a day. Of course, in the beginning, you were a little overstimulated but it subsided. You knew it wouldn’t always be as easy of a day in comparison of the future work days, but you thought it went pretty good.

The day that you started working was the day the team saw how perfectly you and Spencer fit together. I mean, even on your second day, the team saw you and Spencer talking during lunch! They have never seen Spencer talk so animated.

During your first week, the team got a case. While discussing it on the plane, Spencer noticed how your hands were twitching, like they were itching to move. And how you were talking to yourself, almost sounding like you were…counting?

Even though he doesn’t want to disturb you, Spencer moves to the seat next to you. You don’t seem to mind though, you’re too focused. 

Spencer doesn’t say anything at first. Instead, he pulls out a Rubik’s Cube. He can tell that you’re wondering what he’s doing, since you stopped counting. 

“This was one of the first puzzles I’ve solved.” Spencer tells you. “It took me a few times to solve. But when I finally did, I still found it…therapeutic.”

There is a pause between the both of you. Until you speak.

“I wasn’t expecting this,” You explain. “I mean, I was. But I forgot my headphones. And I’m not the best on planes, especially with the turbulence.”

There was a pause between them. Then, Spencer offers the cube to you. He’s just holding it out for you to take. Finally, you do. “Thanks,” you say, fidgeting with the Rubik’s Cube. 

“Anytime” he says, smiling. Smiling because he knows what it’s like. 

***

After your first few months, you felt as though you were finally apart of the BAU team. Normally, it takes you a long time to be able to trust new people. But, you were proud to call the people in the team your friends.

“Okay! Who wants to go over to Rossi’s for dinner tonight?” Derek says in the bullpen after another night of paperwork. 

“Oh, I’m in” said Emily. 

“Will’s watching the kids tonight, so count me in too.” JJ added while packing up for the day.

“Oh! I want to go too! Who doesn’t want the Italian Stallion to make them dinner?” Penelope comes out of no where.

Everybody pauses in the bullpen and looks at Penelope.

“The-“ Rossi starts. “The Italian Stallion?”

Everyone bursts out laughing. Even Hotch smiles a little. Penelope looks mortified. She clearly didn’t see Rossi enter the room.

“Rossi, I’m so sorry! I really didn’t-“ Rossi interrupted Penelope.

“Garcia, It’s fine. I know you were just joking.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Rossi then adds. “Plus, I kind of like it.”

The laughter starts again. 

“What! Don’t laugh at me! I’m not giving you folks free dinner for nothing. Don’t make me second guess myself.” Rossi says with a smile, even though he’s trying to be serious. 

“Okay!” JJ says. “So, everyone’s going?”

The team looks at each other in agreement. 

“You two lovebirds going too?” Derek asks you and Spencer, with a smirk on his face. 

“Hm?” You and Spencer tear away from your conversation, and look at Derek. All eyes are on you both.

“God! Can you both just make a move already, or do I have to shoot you both with an arrow or something?”

“Shoot us with an arrow?” Spencer says. He looks at you, and you look just as confused. “Why?”

Everyone exhales an exhausted sigh, mentally cursing everything in this situation.

“She means if you guys don’t start dating, she’s gonna have to play Cupid to get you guys together.” JJ explains. 

“Ohhh…” You both say at the same time. Blushing. Hard.

“I mean, come on! How can you guys not see it?” Penelope exclaims.

“Trust me. We do.” Emily joins in.

You look at the rest of the team. They all just kind of nod in agreement. You look at Spencer and he just kind of smiles at you. You both can’t help but laugh quietly. 

“What is so-“ 

That’s when full laughs start to erupt between the both of you. Everyone looks around at each other, confused. Except Hotch…

“I’m sorry-“ Spencer says still laughing with you. “This is just a little funny.”

“What’s ‘a little funny’?” Derek says, clearly trying to figure out what is going on. 

“It’s just-“ Your laughter is slowly coming down. “We didn’t know when to tell you guys…”

“Tell us what??” Penelope is trying not to explode over this suspense.

You and Spencer glance at each other and join hands. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my GOD!!!” Penelope squeals. Very loudly. “Really???” 

You both nod, smiling so wide. 

“Well, well, well…” Derek says patting Spencer on the back. “Proud of you, Pretty Boy.”

“Finally!” Emily says.

“That’s what I’m saying.” JJ agrees.

“Wait.” Emily turns to Rossi and Hotch, who are both smirking. “Did they know about this?”

A pause enters the conversation. 

“Really?” Penelope whines. “I wanted to be the first to know!”

“Babygirl, It’s okay.” Derek huffs out a laugh. 

“Hey, Hotch only knew because he’s their boss.” Rossi explains. “How I knew? Well… I can’t tell you all my secrets, can I?”

“Remind me never to underestimate you, old man.” Emily pokes Rossi in the shoulder.

“But really, we are happy for you guys.” Hotch says to you and Spencer. Then, he looks to you and says “You should come by to dinner with us. Consider it a welcome to the family.”

You look around at the team, then look at Spencer who is looking at you right back. “Okay. I will.”

And, so, you did. 

___

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Some of @render-me-usless' Fav Fics!

If you want to make me a list let me know in IM. You can do whatever you want, fave fics, fav tropes or even check out the pending asks page and fill one of those.

Where to Search for Snow by suburbanmotel

(1/1 I 8,954 I Mature I Sterek)

Stiles and his Gigantic Repressed Feelings accidentally affect the weather. A lot. Like. A lot.

//

  “It’s snowing, Stiles,” says Derek.

Stiles looks up. He nods. “Yeah. Yeah it is.”

Derek looks at him. “It’s snowing, Stiles. In your bedroom.”

Stiles and the Seven Wolves by SylvieW

(1/1 I 10,421 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles is Snow White, Kate is the Evil Queen, and when Chris the Huntsman doesn't kill him, he runs off to live with seven werewolves.

Somewhere to Start by Lissadiane

(1/1 I 33,552 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles has always known that he isn't quite human - the plant life that tends to sprout around him whenever he gets upset or excited gives it away. He's never really fit in among the regular people in Beacon Hills and is determined to wait it out, go to college, and find somewhere to belong. He's forced to abandon those plans, however, after he desperately agrees to enter into an arranged marriage to save his father's life.

An arranged marriage with an angry, sometimes furry dude with trust issues. It's all very Beauty and the Beast, without the singing candlesticks.

Waiting by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

(2/2 I 81,018 I Teen I Sterek)

Not wanting to think on it too much, Stiles took a step forward and passed his hand between the bars, moving the bleeding side closer to Derek’s mouth.

“Not too close, he bites.”

Stiles snatched his hand away just as Derek had been about to lick at it. The snarl he got in response was not comforting.

“He what?” Stiles asked nervously, turning to Deaton.

The man looked a little amused. “Don’t worry, only if he doesn’t like you.”

“Well, he probably hates me, now!” Stiles insisted, turning back to Derek.

He looked extremely displeased.

Three Marks by sanam

(8/8 I 113,736 I Mature I Sterek)

"And then there was pain again, but this time it was in only three places—his arm, below his clavicle, and next to his heart, all on the left side. It felt like the skin was being sliced apart, ripped open, flayed off— And suddenly it was done. Derek looked across the room and saw the boy on the floor, looking about as bad as Derek felt."

Derek and Stiles learn that bonding is probably best done with ridiculous amounts of video games and maybe a little bit of time.

A Desperate Arrangement by mikkimouse

(25/25 I 115,506 I Explicit I Sterek)

"I'm sorry, I believe there's something wrong with my hearing," Stiles said. "Because I could have sworn you just told me you set up a betrothal agreement with the Hales. A betrothal agreement involving me. Me."

Scott smiled his easygoing smile and nodded, which told Stiles no, he hadn't misheard a damn thing.

After seven years of lengthy negotiations, the treaty between the Hales and the Argents has fallen apart and the two countries fell into war.

Months later, there's an uneasy truce, thanks to the intervention of King Scott McCall, but it won't last. In a desperate attempt to maintain the peace, the Hales sign a treaty with the McCalls to marry Prince Derek to Prince Stiles Stilinski, King Scott's brother.

In the history of the world, there have been many better ideas.

Black and Blue by charlotteinlace

(50/50 I 209,549 I Explicit I Sterek)

Stiles knows what he should be doing, finding a good Dom and seeing a few dozen therapists. But that shit can wait, right now he's got a gang to infiltrate and a murderer to find. A murderer who killed his father.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Father Figure (S.R.)

Summary: Spencer discusses daddy issues. His boss, who is also his girlfriend’s father, has a question. Request: Reader is hotch's daughter and after hotch learns that they are dating their interactions are kind of weird in a funny way Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Fluff Content Warning: Mild awkwardness Word Count: 900

MASTERLIST

The jet ride to a crime scene is rarely a pleasant experience. Each team member holds their folders filled with horrors, and they display an abject apathy. After all, they are quite familiar with the worst side of humanity. Some days, though, when the worst crimes are still hypothetical and the victims are alive, the team can maintain some semblance of their usual personality.

Spencer is usually the first one to share something interesting about the theoretical or identified unsub. This is because he has a broad knowledge on, well, most things, and he also manages to read through the stack of papers much quicker and with a greater detail than the others.

This day, however, Spencer is silent. And everyone knows why.

Because just one measly week ago, Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner found out that Spencer Reid was dating his daughter.

Beyond the initial, incredibly uncomfortable conversation, Hotch had barely spoken a word about it. A fool might think that meant he has no qualms with it, but Spencer knows him better than that.

No, it is infinitely more likely that Hotch is stewing in his rage about his daughter’s Freudian taste in men. Hotch is just too smart to strike without the possibility of maximal damage.

So, Spencer knows to keep his guard up.

But he never could keep a thought to himself, could he?

Derek lets out a deep breath with a soft whistle before he tosses his folder onto the desk beside him. As the others peek up at him, he shakes his head with an enthused but horrified expression.

“Talk about ‘daddy issues,’” Derek mutters.

The others smirk in response, but they say nothing else.

Until, inevitably, Spencer does.

“The correct term would be ‘father complex,’” he says with an attempt to sound disinterested in one of his favorite philosophers, “It was a shared theory between Freud and Jung, and it’s actually very interesting.”

No one says a word. Spencer does not notice the warnings flashing in their eyes because he is too afraid to accidentally look at Hotch.

They all know what’s coming.

He continues, anyway.

“While Freud was more interested in how men might become distrusting or intimidated by older male authorities, Jung extended his analysis to women with emotionally or physically absent fathers.”

Despite the roaring engines and the full cabin, the jet is silent. If Spencer had looked up then, he would have seen how everyone immediately glances over at Hotch.

Hotch, however, maintains his stoic stare. He is looking directly at Spencer, who is still staring at the document in the folder he has already read several times over.

“There’s a more contemporary term for the phenomenon that would probably be more fitting,” Spencer announces.

“Really?” Emily asks. The rhetorical question is dripping with sarcasm in a final attempt to stop him. 

Spencer is so lost in thought at this point that he does not even notice. Instead, he marches on to his downfall.

“It’s called ‘Father hunger,’” he explains coolly, “and it explains the over-trust in authority figures and the search for an older man that reminds them of the father they never had.”

“Are you talking about yourself or my daughter?”

Every muscle in Spencer’s body seizes at the question. Quickly, he raises his head to find himself trapped in the paralyzing, disapproving stare of Aaron Hotchner.

“What?” he squeaks.

The man does not answer.

“N-No! No, I was just explaining the origins of the term,” he insists.

He tries—but fails—not to think about you. Just one remark, one casual reminder of your existence makes his skin ripple with goosebumps. Overcome with guilt—but never regret—his mind tugs forward every memory shared between the two of you.

The smell of your perfume, the softness of your lips, the comfort he finds in your arms.

His life is flashing before his eyes and every part of it looks like you.

He raises his hands in surrender before he sputters, “I would never—!”

“Reid,” your father commands.

Your boyfriend flinches.

“It’s a joke,” Hotch says just before he smiles.

Immediately, Spencer is surrounded by familiar smiles. He feels the visceral pain of a joke made at his expense while at the same time, he is cloaked with relief.

“Funny joke,” he says under his breath.

Hotch detects the sarcasm but decides to let it go.

He had won the exchange, after all.

Spencer also tries to let it go. Because if this was the height of Hotch’s rage over the ultimate violation of his home life, he’d basically gotten away with murder.

Still, he can’t shake the burning red blush. That and the trembling from the adrenaline felt almost permanent.

Just as the thought occurs to him, Derek takes a seat beside him.

He leans closer even as Spencer leans away.

Then, in the quietest whisper, he asks, “Which one of you does she call daddy?”

Yes, Spencer realizes. The blush is going to be permanent.

“Stop talking,” he orders with a startlingly amount of finality.

From across the table, Emily provides Derek with the audience he wanted. Her giggles alone assuage his desire to make Spencer’s day just a little bit more chaotic.

The two relent. Spencer is alone with his thoughts again, and he wonders whether he will ever feel at home in his new position.

But then he thinks of you, and he knows that he is exactly where he is meant to be.

(Tell me what you thought about this fic here!)

If you're looking for more to read, check out my full-length smut story "My Boss's Daughter," where Reader is Hotch's daughter that is in love with Spencer!

Thanks for reading!

[hothothotch]

hi! can you write a hotch angsty / fluff piece based off the episode of s3 ep 20 where they go to NY and have to work with Kate Joyner and Hotch treats reader like how he did to Morgan and pushes reader aside bc even after reader being there for him after his divorce with Hayley and thinking there was something more but then ends in fluff? :)

hey hey! first i want to say that this ask has saved my life. second, i got carried away again. but i hope you like it, anon s2

(god knows how much i want a part two for this one)

requests are open!

tw: angst, fluff, 5.3k words.

You should have seen it coming.

You’ve been a part of BAU’s team since the departure of Ellie, a quick replacement approved by Agent Hotchner — or Hotch, as the team called him — that took place for the first time after The Fisher King’s case, when Ellie was shot; when she decided working at the BAU was too much to handle, Hotch approved your official transference only a few weeks before Strauss’ approved Prentiss’.

In all honesty, you’d been surprised Hotch didn’t kick you out after that, but grateful nonetheless — you absolutely loved that job.

You had been the first to notice when Hotch’s marriage started to crumble, your own habit of staying late nights at the office giving you a first-row view of the nights he’d stay late and go home only on the early hours of the morning, just to come back fresh and new as if nothing had happened. There wasn’t much you could do to help, even if you wanted to; the fact that Hotch trusted you on the job didn’t necessarily mean that he trusted you enough to let you in on his personal issues, and you didn’t feel like you really wanted to. But, as purple bags started to form under his eyes, a clear evidence that he hadn’t been sleeping, you couldn’t help but start showing small, almost meaningless acts of service that you hoped would make him feel better.

Everything was pretty secretive.

You started to get in the office earlier, so you could leave a cup of fresh coffee on his desk (black with no sugar, as you know he liked), and whenever you went out for dinner, you’d come back bearing something that was small enough so he wouldn’t want to pay for what you brought.

You started daring more only a few weeks into your small endeavor. Instead of only leaving your secret gifts, you started to write small notes in Garcia’s colorful sticky notes (because you had none on your desk, so he wouldn’t know it was you) with encouraging comments, mostly about his job — and, when you were feeling specially bold, about his appearance in general.

You thought nothing of it, and had no idea if he even read them, but the fact that you were doing something to at least try and make things better was enough to warm your heart. Much more when his stern façade would suddenly turn into a lighter one as the day went by, even when you were out on cases and he found a cup of steaming coffee waiting for him, a sticky note attached to it with a unique message handwritten by you.

It wasn’t until the divorce that you felt the urge to reveal your identity.

Hotch had been served the divorce papers in front of the whole team, only a few minutes before they went out for drinks — it goes unsaid that he immediately stepped out of the group, deciding to go home. The team still went out for drinks, but the talks weren’t as fun as they were supposed to be, and the topic in hand was only one: Hotch’s sudden divorce.

“Haley left home a few weeks ago” Derek confessed, playing with his full glass of beer. A few women had come to hit on him, but it seemed like that small and closed group had decided that if one of them was miserable, they all would be miserable that night — and Morgan had been the first to agree to that silent contract, refusing every opportunity he had to get laid that night, “She took Jack and her things and… left”.

“How could she do it?” Penelope had asked, her voice wrapped in a wrath no one had ever seen the blonde bubble of happiness be.

“Hotch is very dedicated to his job, Pen” Emily had replied, her voice as condescending as sad, a clear indicative that while she wished things had been different, that maybe there was a second chance, something they could do to help, she still could understand Haley’s side in this bargain, “We understand that because we do the same, but Haley… she wasn’t one of us”.

And it was true. While any of you were ready to make sacrifices, to jump off cliffs in order to do the best for your job, Haley was just a wife that had to stay closed off at home with her kid, praying that, at the end of the day (or the week) her husband would make it back home.

Now Hotch knew how it felt.

“There’s nothing we can do to help” David had said that night, taking his own glass of whiskey and taking a sip of the sour drink, “Just be there for him”.

David was right. And maybe his words that night had been what prompted you to climb the three-steps of the catwalk’s stair one week later, one hand playing nervously with your necklace as you used the other to knock on Aaron’s door right after Spencer had left to go home, only you and your boss still on the sixth floor.

“Come in”.

Aaron’s voice was imposing, as serious as it had always been; it was curious, you noticed very quickly, how you’ve never seen Hotch falter before — even when he was served the papers, or when he officially announced for the team that he was, indeed, divorced. He had been calm and collected, talking about the topics as if he was making a comment about a case, or about the weather, and the only indication of his unsaid pain was the way his fingers played nervously with the now empty space where you’d been used to see his wedding band.

Just as he was doing when you opened the door, your eyes falling immediately on that spot, as if searching for an indicative that they had decided to try again. The hope painful on your heart.

“I finished the reports from the last case” you said after a few minutes, moving slowly to leave the folders on top of his desk, “And I’ve also filled the late paperwork, I’m sorry it took me a while”.

Hotch looked up at you, his brown eyes scanning your face almost curiously, and you frowned nervously at the prospect of having something wrong with your face, “What is it?”.

“Nothing” Aaron replied quickly, dropping his eyes back to his hands, “I’m sorry”.

You smiled softly at Aaron, moving slowly to take the seat across from him, careful enough to assure him that if he didn’t want you to sit with him, then you’d quickly move out and pretend nothing had happened. When he didn’t, you allowed yourself to place both your hands on top of his desk, your palms up in an inviting manner — you knew Hotch wouldn’t hold your hand, even with the clear offer, but you’d keep offering until he felt like accepting.

“We’re a team, Hotch” you whispered, almost inaudibly, hoping, one more time, not to be overstepping or making him uncomfortable in any capacity, “I know we’re not best buddies…” you teased lightly, adding a ‘yet’ on your mind, “But you still can share things with me. I’m here to help, you know? If you want to talk, ever, I’ll be here, okay?”.

Much for your surprise and happiness, Aaron had wanted to talk, eventually.

The first time was after a child-related case, from where he left with the need to see Jack, but unable to do so because Haley had taken him to his grandparents’ house. At first, when he called you up to his office, you’d thought you’d be reprimanded for a mistake you couldn’t even remember you committed, but you had barely stepped inside the office when Aaron started to speak, his eyes focused on the mess of papers on his desk.

“I want to talk” he said, his voice more painful than you thought it would be, “If you’re still up to it”.

You were. Absolutely.

And just as talking to him, falling in love with Aaron Hotchner was the easiest thing you’ve ever done in your life.

You didn’t notice how it happened, or when you finally realized you were head over hills in love with him, but what you did know was the unspeakable feeling of your heart thundering on your chest whenever he shot a smile on your way, or when he accidentally brushed his hand on your arm when walking past you, or during your nightly conversations, when he’d repeat the words you first told him all those months ago, when you offered your help.

“We’re a team”.

But you should’ve seen it coming.

You should’ve seen it coming when Aaron announced whoever was responsible for that case had called him personally, and not respected the natural order of things in which JJ receives the case and reunites with Aaron to know if it deserves their immediate attention.

You should’ve seen it coming when Derek commented about Kate Joyner being as ass, and Aaron immediately got defensive — and to some extent you believed you had noticed, even if you decided to ignore it, since your body had responded to his defensiveness.

But you didn’t. Mostly because up to that moment, everything was okay.

“You’ll keep throwing theories at me until I tell you to stop?” Hotch asked, and even if his voice was serious and perfectly professional, you could see a hint of a smile on the way his brows weren’t as furrowed as usual, a shy dimple appearing on the corner of his lips.

This, you thought as you observed his clear features, moving from side to side on the chair you’ve been sitting on, your sole duty being waiting for Garcia’s call, or a lead of any form, this is what I love the most about him. His almost smile.

The thought alone both intimidated you and made butterflies dance on your stomach. You loved him.

“I will” you agreed with a resolute nod, your face as serious as possible considering how bad you wanted to laugh, “That’s what I do when we don’t have leads, I try every possible outcome and make you smile every once in a while. Because we’re a team”.

Aaron shook his head, his smile a bit more apparent than before, “A team, indeed”.

“I hope we make a good one”.

You cringed visibly at Kate Joyner’s British accent, not failing to notice how Aaron immediately moved to look at her, a smile creeping up on his lips immediately as he met her eyes — and you felt your heart break even more at the realization that it was the same smile he always gave you.

“They liaised at Scotland Yard”, Emily had teased when you arrived, JJ gasping at the mischievous tone on her friend’s voice. You wondered if any of them noticed how your face fell by the minute, your eyes unable to match any of theirs, heart thumping against your chest because you had noticed how Aaron had looked at Kate.

He wanted her.

In a way he clearly had never — and probably would never — want you.

“Hotchner” you looked up immediately at his serious tone, furrowing your brows as you paid close attention at his words. You saw, with the corner of your eyes, when Derek and Rossi moved closer to the three of you, their faces as serious as Hotch’s, “Does it look like he could be one of our guys?”.

“What’s going on?” Derek asked, his eyes following Hotch’s every move.

“We’ve got eyes on one of them” Aaron replied quickly, and for a second you hoped they’d be somewhere you could get them, that maybe this hell would be over in the next hour, maybe you were remotely close… “He’s on the subway platform at 59th and Lex”.

Your heart stopped beating at that moment, your breath immediately caught on your throat as you turned to face Kate, “We could be there” you muttered, your voice nothing more than an accusing whisper, “If we’d followed Derek’s plan, we could be there”.

“No, we should be there!” Derek retorted, his voice pulling out the anger you’ve managed to keep away from your words, and if your message hadn’t been clearly delivered to Kate, Derek’s had been — it was her fault.

“He’s got a gun” Garcia announced on the other side of the line, her voice wavering slightly at the new information.

“What do we do?” you asked, eyes moving past Kate to meet Hotch’s, “What are we supposed to do?”.

Aaron didn’t have time to reply before Garcia’s voice came through once more, “He shot her”.

God.

“Where the hell are the police?”, Kate’s voice was nervous when she next spoke, walking past you as if you weren’t there, her eyes not daring to meet yours, even if you knew that she didn’t care about the rage you were displaying. She cared about nothing other than Aaron’s impression on her, “This is Kate Joyner with the FBI. We have a murder suspect, subway platform. 59th and Lex”.

“He’s getting away!” Garcia announced, her voice clearly anguished.

Your mind started to work, all the training you ever had in your life — both for the BAU and other Units — coming back to you on that second, drawing you to move closer to the phone, you’re voice commanding, “Garcia, can you get eyes on him above ground?”.

“He’s heading west on 59th Street”.

“If he makes it to the park, we’ve lost him” Kate pointed, clearly worried.

The point was, Kate’s worry meant nothing to you anymore. Not when she was responsible for that; not when her pride got over her job and caused you to lose the only lead you could’ve had.

“And whose fault is this, Joyner?” you asked, your voice as venomous as you could make it sound, both your hands holding tightly at the wooden surface of the desk you’ve been sitting at, “Because from where I see it, is yours”.

The silence between your small group was almost palpable, and you could hear how someone took a harsh breath, as if your words had been like a slap to their face. You didn’t turn to see who had had that reaction, though — you knew the team had a very tunneled vision of you, that the fact you rarely snapped at people made them think you weren’t as fierce as Prentiss, even though they knew you were way more able to stand your ground than Spencer, usually without being overly rude at the source of your dismay.

That wasn’t the case, not that day.

You heard Aaron calling your name, and if it were any other day, maybe you’d have drawn your eyes off Kate to look at him, but you knew if you did this now, you’d backtrack — and God knew you didn’t want to.

“We could’ve had this guy!” you spat, pointing at the phone, “We just had to follow along with Morgan’s plan, which was a good plan, but Ms. I’m-better-than-anyone couldn’t handle hearing that someone was better than her!”.

“That’s not what happened—”.

“Oh, isn’t it?” You cut her off immediately, licking your lips for a second as your eyes kept glued on hers. Not blinking, not faltering. For the first time since you joined the FBI, you allowed the anger to consume you, because it was personal for you.

The way she looked at Hotch was personal for you.

The way they kept their bodies close was personal for you.

The way he had immediately stopped reciprocating you and your feelings whenever she was close, was personal for you.

The way she had the man you loved under her spell was personal for you.

“Even if we were on that platform, odds are he would have moved onto someone isolated” Kate retorted, her voice way calmer than yours.

“Maybe, but it was worthy a fucking shot!” you screamed, slapping your hands against the table, the sound calling the attention of the other Agents around, “Morgan said to put us at express stops. You wouldn’t need any new cop or to take the cops that are working from the streets, you just needed to assign us for this, and you decided not to, just because Morgan said so!”.

“It’s not your place to have this discussion”.

You were ready to spat back, maybe even to move closer to Kate and tell her that if she failed to do her job, then it was time someone else do it. But the voice that called you out wasn’t Kate’s.

You faltered, your voice suddenly getting caught on your throat as you turned to face Aaron, his eyes void of emotion as he looked at with you a grave expression, only one message written on his face: shut up, or you’ll see the consequences.

“My…” you stuttered, “My place?”.

“You need to back off” Aaron moved on, “We’re here to give the profile, that’s what we’ll do”.

“We have seven bodies, Aaron!” you said, but your voice had lost the strength it had when you were discussing with Kate, your anger turning into something way more painful. Painful for you, “Seven bodies. A woman was just killed on a subway platform because of her incompetence and you’re telling me to back off?”.

You hated how your voice broke on the last phrase, clear evidence that you were on the verge of tears. And you hated that he was a good enough profiler to see it, but he chose to ignore, because he was favoring her over you.

“You said it right, we have seven bodies” Aaron agreed, “Which is exactly why we need to stay focused”.

Derek snorted, drawing your attention back to him, “Pretty rich coming from the man who can’t stay focused on anything but her”.

As if it couldn’t hurt you more.

Aaron didn’t flinch, his eyes meeting Derek’s as he finished the almost inexistant space that separated the two of them, his voice low and passive — the tone he always used when talking with a suspect, “Take a walk. Now. You both”.

All you needed was for his eyes to meet yours for you to know you were done. With this case; with Kate Joyner; with Aaron.

“I’m out” you announced, messily grabbing your things and throwing them on your pockets, trying your best not to unravel then and there, where Kate could see how much she had affected you — how much their actions had affected you, “Out of this precinct. Out of this case”.

You walked past Aaron without sparing a glance at him, making a beeline towards the elevator. And for a second you thought about ignoring the way he called you, aware that you wouldn’t be able to look at him without the tears falling down your face, without you pouring your heart out to the man you ultimately loved, but that couldn’t reciprocate your feelings.

But you stopped, anyway. You stopped because a part of you hoped you’d see the man you’ve grown fond of in the past months; because you expected him to apologize, to say that you were right, or just say something… because if he didn’t, you might as well give up on him.

Ask me to stay, you pleaded, just ask me to stay.

“You can’t walk away from this case”.

You snorted at his cold words, and even with your back turned to him, you knew his face was still cold as stone, the Unit Chief, not your friend, “I can. And I will” you finally found it in yourself to turn and face him, the first tears falling down your face, “I’ll tell Strauss I couldn’t handle it, that it hit too close to home. Don’t worry, I’ll take the plane back to D.C tonight, I don’t want the jet and won’t make the Bureau pay for a bedroom for me. It won’t ruin your budget”.

“Why are you acting like that?” he asked, and you allowed yourself to bask on the way his own voice faltered, the way his closed demeanor changed at the sight of your tears, but it only lasted one second before you looked over his shoulders, finding Kate looking straight at you, clearly curious.

Suddenly there was no way you’d walk out without saying everything you needed to say.

“You really don’t know?” you questioned, “Okay, so I’ll tell you, Aaron” you made a pause, fidgeting with your necklace once again, trying to find the courage you needed to let it all out — everything and nothing at the same time, “I’m so in love with you, Aaron. I’ve been from the moment you started opening up to me. And to see you dismissing my opinion, acting like I’m nothing more than just an AIT who has no idea what she’s doing here, it hurts…” your voice was nothing but a mumbled hiss, the tears now staining your shirt, and you were unable to stop them, even when you violently wiped them away with the palm of your hand, “It hurts because I thought maybe… maybe you were feeling the same. Maybe you were opening up to me because you wanted me to be a part of your life, more than a friend, but a real partner… I thought we were a team, but I see I was wrong”.

You allowed yourself to look desperate, broken, out of place for one more second as you watched the way his demeanor changed as he processed every word you’ve said. You noticed with a heavy heart when it stopped, when he finally took in the meaning behind your words, and then…

Then you saw nothing.

And that only made your heart break even more.

“As I said, I was wrong” you repeated, pressing the elevator button violently, “I’m sorry, Agent Hotchner. I hope the case ends well. I’ll hand you my resignation once you’re back home”.

And without a word more, you left.

…

Prentiss called to let you know the case had ended only two days after you left — not that you wanted to know, but you had told Hotch you’d hand your resignation once he was back, so you were grateful she called. She didn’t ask if you were okay, because you clearly weren’t, and you were grateful for that, too (even if Derek and Penelope did call to know if you were feeling okay).

Aaron didn’t call.

He didn’t reach out.

Didn’t send a message or an email.

He was dead silent.

You had learnt from Derek that Kate Joyner had been killed on an explosion meant to hit her and Hotch, and that Morgan had driven him back to Quantico once Aaron was cleared from the hospital. He didn’t need to tell you, but you knew he had talked to Aaron (or either talked while Aaron listened) about what you said before leaving, about your feelings and how you were ready to resign because of the way he treated you; you also knew from his voice that he wanted you to ask what had been Hotch’s answer to their talk, but you didn’t want to know. Your heart was already too damaged to accept another blow.

It had been around the third day since the end of the case when someone knocked on your door. You had asked the team not to come over, not wanting them to see you on the state you were — hair disheveled, eyes puffy and red from crying —, and much less have to answer to questions you weren’t ready to answer; but you had been receiving a visit from your neighbor, Mr. Clark, who had caught you crying alone once and since then had been visiting you on the same hour everyday to make sure you were doing okay.

He was also helping you look for new jobs, even if he was trying to convince you to do something less dangerous than working for the FBI. It wasn’t working.

“Hello, Mr.—” you cut yourself off immediately when your eyes met the newcomer, your lips slightly parted as you took in his image, “Agent Hotchner?”.

You noticed how he flinched at your words, moving slightly back as if you had shot him straight on the heart, and not just called him by his title. Still, Aaron tried to keep himself perfectly composed (as always), one hand hiding something on his back as he fidgets with his fingers with the other.

If you hadn’t spent the past weeks crying over him, you’d have found it adorable.

“What are you doing here?” you asked sharply, your eyes scanning him one more time before you stopped to find his eyes, almost losing yourself on their brown — almost green, depending on the light — immensity.

“I wanted to talk to you” Aaron replied, rolling his eyes at the notice of how obvious his words were, “I wanted to apologize”.

You tilted your head to the side, your body clearly blocking his way inside your apartment — something you’ve never done before, “Okay. Done. You can go now”.

Your words were harsher than they’ve always been, void and certain, mostly because you knew you still loved him, and that if he asked to go inside, you’d allow. You’d buy anything he said in order to feed the fantasy of you two being more than friends, of the possibility of you being what you wanted you to be.

“Can we talk?” Aaron pleaded, taking a step towards you, “Please”.

“Why? So you can ignore everything I said at the precinct and cry over Kate’s death?” you spat out, and maybe you shouldn’t have talked about someone’s death with the coldness you’ve done, but you were honestly tired of Aaron and his bullshit, “I offered myself to help you, Aaron, because I knew you were suffering over your divorce. And if for some miracle Haley and you decided to go back together and try again, I’d swallow my feelings and let my heart break as I watch you and her trying to rebuild what you had, because I know how much you suffered over losing her. How much you miss being Jack’s father everyday…” you raised one finger, pointing directly at Aaron’s heart — the heart you still loved more than everything, “But I’m not stupid. I won’t let you step on my feeling to cry over another woman after I’ve told you how I feel, after I’ve pathetically confessed my love to you. I’m worthy more than that, Aaron! I deserve more than someone who only needs me when they’re emotionally vulnerable. I deserve to be loved, Aaron!”.

Aaron was silent for a moment, his eyes scanning your face as he observed the first tears rolling down. You thought he wouldn’t say anything, that maybe he’d only move away as you told him to, but he didn’t.

He took a step towards you, using his free hand to clear your tears, “I know” Aaron whispered, licking his lips, “And I should’ve thought about it, about your feelings, before putting mine on top of them. And I apologize, even if I know it’s not enough”.

No, it wasn’t. Because merely apologizing wouldn’t erase the memory of him observing as you poured your heart out and dismissing it on behalf of another woman. It wouldn’t erase the comments, and how he belittled you. It wouldn’t erase the pain you’ve felt on the plane back, or how pathetic Erin Strauss made you feel for abandoning the field over personal problems.

“I didn’t notice you were in love with me because I was trying to brush past the fact that I had fallen in love with you, of how inappropriate it would look like for Strauss, of how it could jeopardize your career…” Aaron cleared his throat, looking at the ground, “And how bad I felt over the fact that you were trying to help me with my marital problems, and I was too busy noticing how beautiful your smile is. I didn’t believe it was right for me to fall in love with you, because I didn’t deserve someone as pure as you”.

You remained silent; your arms crossed in front of your body. You knew there was something else he wanted to say, so you allowed him to.

“I imagine you heard someone talking about how… how much Kate looked like Haley”.

You snorted bitterly, and that seemed to attract his attention back to you, “Everyone. Even I thought that when I saw her”.

Aaron nodded slowly, this time his eyes didn’t move from yours, “When I saw her, all I could see was Haley. And I tried to convince myself that the fact I was shaken by that meant that I was still in love with Haley, and that I didn’t have to worry about my feelings for you, that I wouldn’t mess up our friendship because there weren’t feelings between us… but whenever I looked your way, or talked to you, I’d feel my heartbeat faster. And when I looked at Kate, I felt… empty. As if I was staring at an old ghost” he confessed, and you could see on his demeanor how confessing that pained him — either because he was confessing in a way that he wasn’t in love with Haley anymore, or because he felt bad speaking ill of the dead, you weren’t sure, “So I tried to force myself into find that old spark, the way I felt for Haley, something that would prove to me that I wasn’t in love with you, but I failed. And I failed you in the meantime”.

You took a sharp breath, hating yourself for the way you started to play with your necklace, “Where does it put us, Aaron?” you asked painfully, “Because I won’t go through that again”.

Aaron took his hand off his back, showing you the small Tifanny box he had been hiding, your breath getting immediately caught on your throat as you reached for the object hesitantly, “I’m not proposing to you” he clarified at the look on your face, “I couldn’t, not after just getting divorced… and I also can’t be in a relationship with you, now. I want to, but I need to settle things with Jack before I bring someone knew into my life, and I need to prove to you that I mean it when I say I love you”.

“Aaron…” you whispered, opening up the lid to reveal a golden lock pendant, one that you knew all too well — one you had nonchalantly commented with Aaron you wanted, but thought nothing of it, believing he hadn’t paid any mind at your words. He had, “I can’t… I can’t accept it, I—”.

“I’m not trying to buy your forgiveness, I’m not stupid to think you’d accept a gift in exchange of it” he cut you off, “But I want you to keep it as a promise that I’ll try to make it up to you every day, until you can forgive me. And that I’ll wait for you ‘til my last breath, if needed”.

You looked up at Aaron, nodding slowly.

You knew by the look on his face that you’d be the one leading them from that moment on, that if you wanted to just get the necklace and tell him to go, he’d go without missing a heartbeat. But you didn’t want it. Aaron was willing to try, to win your forgiveness and to respect your feelings in a way he hadn’t before.

“We’re a team” you muttered under your breath, opening up a smile.

So maybe you owed it to yourself to try, too.

Aaron gave you a similar smile, nodding, “We’re a team. The best team”.

And as you took a step to the side, inviting Aaron to enter your apartment, you knew you had already forgiven him.

Thank you for the request ✨

[aaronhotchnersworld]

“Emily”

aaron hotchner x bau wife reader

——

It had been 2 months since you lost your best friend.

2 months since you first broke down into the arms of your husband at the hospital.

“no no no,” you shout as you storm off after JJ tells you all that Emily didnt make it. Aaron quickly following you. He wraps his arms around you and collapse into his embrace. You sob into his suit, drenching it in your tears. “A- Aaron,” you cry out. “l know baby, I gotcha,” he told you as he stroked your hair.”

Today is October 12th, Emily’s birthday.

You wake up, feeling extremely depressed. You look at the clock, seeing it’s already 12pm.

Aaron walks into the bedroom a few minutes later, “why don’t you get up and i’ll make you something to eat.”

“i’m not hungry,” you tell him, already feeling the tears well up in your eyes.

Aaron kneels down next to you and strokes your cheek, “i know, but you still need to eat honey.”

“Aaron I- I can’t do this,” you whisper as tears begin to fall down your cheeks. He gently wipes them away with his thumb and pulls you in for a hug.

“I miss her Aaron,” you sob out.

“I know honey i’m so sorry. Just let it all out. I got you y/n,” he tells you softly as he rubs your back.

You don’t know how long you sobbed into his chest for, but you cried until you had no tears left to cry.

“come on let’s go to the living room,” he tells you. You both walk into the living room and you sit on the couch. He turns on the tv and softly gives you a kiss on your forehead before walking towards the kitchen.

He returns a few minutes later with a grilled cheese on a plate.

He sits down next to you before speaking, “why don’t you just have a few bites, that’s all i’m asking for honey,” he says in his soft voice.

He wraps an arm around you and hands you half of the grilled cheese, you take a small bite of the grilled cheese and lean your head on Aaron’s shoulder.

You finish the first half and he tries to hand you the second off but you shake your head. “okay that’s okay. I’m glad you ate something y/n.”

“I love you sweetie.”

“I love you too Aaron.”

——

It has now been 4 months since Emily’s death. It had gotten easier but was still extremely difficult. You and the team were all sitting in the conference room, waiting for Aaron.

He walks in a few minutes later, an anxious look on his face. “4 months ago I made a decision that affected our team, the fake death of Emily Prentiss. This choice was made to ensure the safety of Emily until Doyle was found. I know this is a lot to process but this was made for the safety of Emily and our team. I couldn’t risk any of you finding out, JJ and I were the only ones to know. I take full responsibility for the choices made and any issues should be taken up with me. She’ll be arriving here on friday.”

Everyone’s faces drop in shock. “She’s alive,” Penelope says in shock.

“any issues? yeah I got issues with this,” Derek says in anger.

“we buried her,” Spencer says.

You stand up and storm out of the room. “Y/N,” Aaron shouts as he follows you.

You can’t even stand to look at him.

“y/n please.”

You turn around to face him. “I trusted you Aaron. I was miserable. You just let me cry everyday. Why didn’t you fucking tell me Aaron? You could have told you. You should have told me. I can’t even fucking look at you,” you scream at him.

“y/n I didn’t have a choice I did it for the safety of Emily and our team. If Doyle would have found out about Emily, everyone who knew would be in danger. I couldn’t risk putting you in danger.”

“why the fuck did JJ know then?”

“We had to have someone who was close with her but not too close. JJ had to meet up with her to give her some things and we couldn’t let it get personal. This was both JJ and I’s decision but I still take full responsibility. You don’t like keeping secrets from the team and I don’t believe you could have kept it a secret y/n.”

“I trusted you Aaron. I cried to you everyday. How could you do this to me?”

“y/n i’m sorry I couldn’t tell you.”

“fuck you aaron. I’m going home. I hate you,” you say as you storm off. “y/n please,” he says but you don’t care to turn around.

——

It’s about 10pm when Aaron arrives home. You’re laying in bed and don’t bother to get up.

“y/n can we please just talk?”

“why should I talk to you,” you snap back.

“because i’m your husband and I care about you.”

You sit up and look at him, tears running down your cheeks. “I trusted you Aaron. I deserved to know what happened to my best friend.”

“i know and im so sorry but you have to look at it from my perspective. As unit chief, I have a responsibility to protect everyone on my team. The choice to have JJ know was because I knew that she could 100% keep it a secret. You would have wanted to see her and keep in contact with her and I couldn’t allow this to happen. Although JJ and I wanted to reach out to Emily, we didn’t.”

“I understand why you did it Aaron. I- I just wish I could have known.”

Aaron sits down next to you. “i’m sorry y/n. Please understand that I didn’t want to keep this from you but your safety and the teams safety is most important to me.”

“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t mean what I said before. I was just angry. I don’t hate you, I love you so much Aaron,” you say as tears fall down your cheeks.

“I love you too y/n, so so much,” he says softly as he wipes your tears away with his thumb.

You wrap your arms around him and bury your face into his neck. He rubs your back, happy to know that you have forgiven him.

You fall asleep that night in the loving arms of your husband.

[uglynavel]

Since I'm back in my teen wolf obsession after the movie I'm just gonna say it. The vitriolic hatred for both Scott McCall and Tyler Posey was just fucking racism. There was literally no reason to hate them so much and every excuse I've seen people have for hating Scott is that he didn't center himself around Stiles (his white friend) more.

Scott McCall's only flaw was that he loved his friends too much and he was too trusting and forgiving of people.

I'm all for ship and let ship but Tyler is right about Sterek being weird. Stiles was a minor and Derek was at least 20-23 and as a former Sterek shipper who has seen the light. I don't blame Tyler. Y'all got hella annoying with that ship.

Sterek was never queerbait

Stiles and Derek did not like each other. They only tolerated each other because of Scott. Derek literally says he only came back to beacon hills for Scott. Y'all let Dylan and Tyler Hoechiln convince you otherwise.

Also people hating Scott is another case of white people having this weird issue with not being able to relate to a poc character because y'all literally take all of Scott's traits and give them to Stiles (because mostly I only see white people hating him and a few people of color)

The "iconic" baseball batt and red hoodie y'all love to give Stiles is literally what Scott was wearing in episode 1 of Season 1

EDIT: I'll also never forgive you FREAKS for bullying Tyler Posey after his mom died and said it was karma for saying sterek is weird. You people are fucking sick, disgusting pathetic excuses of a human being--no you're not human. You're literal scum for doing that.

Stiles and Dylan O'Brien were not the face of Teen Wolf. It is Tyler and Scott. Hell for example the sims 3 Supernatural. The werewolf on the cover looks like season 1 Scott.

I LOVE Stiles but those certain Stiles fans have put a sour taste in my mouth for the character.

Also the "Scott McCall is a bad friend" tag is so dumb cause Stiles and every other character on that show would laugh in your face if you tried to tell them that

[kitchenisking]

Merry Christmas Eve!

Good for you by lilysaid - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 16,768, sterek)

Completely by chance, I saw a "human boyfriend for werewolf roleplay" ASMR video on YouTube and thought 1. Stiles would totally do something as reckless as making an ASMR channel for werewolves 2. He would be really good at it and 3. It would definitely blow up in his face

The Alpha and his Spark by sandyde03 - (Rating: Mature, Words: 22,771, sterek)

Stiles is pregnant. Derek is perpetually horny and possessive. Stiles is confused. Not by Derek sexing him up. He loves that. It’s the fact that ever since he started to show that he was with pup everyone has been avoiding his eyes.

Innerbloom (if you want me, if you need me) by nymphe - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 12,133, sterek)

Lydia and Stiles are study partners, Lydia (correctly) theorizes that Stiles is losing precious brain cells daydreaming about getting dicked down by our resident moody werewolf, Derek has issues: trust issues, issues using his words, feelings issues, issues with Lydia’s scent overwhelming Stiles’ scent & issues with Stiles not smelling enough like him. What’s new, basically.

Title from Rüfüs Du Sol.

feelings are the worst kind of f-word by EvanesDust - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 4,514, sterek)

Derek might have been an alpha werewolf, but he was an omega in biology. Thanks to the emotional shit show of his life—and the ever-present dangers of Beacon Hills—he hadn't had a heat in years. But he was finally in a better place, so of course, that was when it hit.

So he turned to the only alpha he trusted to help him through it.

The one he secretly desired.

Stiles.

A Place to Hide Away by Antistalgic - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 58,064, sterek)

Stiles gets turned into a werefox child with no memory of anything beyond the age of five (and a half, thank you very much). So when he smells the scent of home and security, naturally he follows it and finds himself face to face (or rather face to knee) with a scowling man (with pretty eyes).

local area man resorts to necromancy as everything is ruined anyway byLunaCanisLupus_22 - (Rating: Mature, Words: 7,847, sterek)

“Are we doing this?” Scott asks, taking Stiles’ arm before he can approach the pile of ash right in front of the Nemeton. Not ash. Derek’s remains. “Stiles, are we doing this?”

“He did it before,” Stiles snaps, pointing at Peter. “Why can’t we?”

Or the one where the teen wolf movie ending is trash, so Stiles returns to Beacon Hills and necromances his way out of it

His Boy by GhostInTheBAU - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 2,214, sterek)

“Come on, Big Bad,” he purred, voice lilting, teasing, taunting, “Is this really all you got? The best you can do?  Everything you can give me? Hm?”

Derek went stone-cold rigid at the provocation, his Wolf clawing at him, snapping just below the surface of his skin, itching to be released, longing to show this boy—his boy—exactly where he belonged.

“Because, silly me, I thought you were supposed to be something scary,” Stiles continued, “Something cold and deadly—violent and dreadful and feared.” A huff of laughter leapt off his sharp-wit tongue; and a smirk danced shrill and cunning through the flow of his sultry voice. “Hell baby, I thought you were supposed to be a fuckin’ Wolf.”

And that was it.

That was the end of Derek’s self-control.

Folding Like Honey by Noname109 - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 1,811, sterek)

“I’m gonna take you apart,” Derek practically purrs. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll be screaming my name.” 

“Derek,” he whines, flushing bright red because of how fucked out his voice sounds, throat raw. He swallows before speaking again. “Please.” 

“Is that all you can say?” Derek teases, and his hands wander over Stiles’s body. He feels so exposed like this, totally on display for Derek. “Fucked your mouth so good you can’t talk, huh?” 

“Derek, I — oh fuck.”

I'll Be Your Thrill by red_crate  - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 5,354, sterek)

Stiles asks, “What are you waiting for?” He still hasn’t made a move to join Derek on the bed.

“I’m waiting for you, Daddy.” It takes everything in him to hold Stiles’ gaze. 

There’s a hesitance in him every time they start this. Derek is older, an alpha werewolf. He can’t quite get over the spike of humiliation that occasionally works through him at the thought of wanting to give over his control. He closes his eyes for a moment. 

Wanting Stiles to take charge and take care of him isn’t a shameful thing. 

It helps that Stiles is never anything but enthusiastic.

Daddy Sweetly by LadyDrace - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 2,322, sterek)

Derek likes it slow and loving. And sometimes he likes a little bit more than that. Stiles is more than happy to provide.

[frankiebirds]

thinking about morgan's relationship with trust vs love. because yes, hotch is right in 2x23 when he says "there are very few people he truly trusts". but the thing that Gets Me about morgan in a way other characters with trust issues don't is that he trusts so slowly but loves so quickly.

he extends insane levels of compassion to strangers. the one that really sticks out to me is when he holds dr. brazier's hand in 2x08. if you need a refresher and don't feel like checking out the linked post: there is a bomb under her car seat that will go off if she gets up or moves wrong, and he crouches by the car holding her hand despite hotch ordering him to back up. importantly, despite having been on the bomb squad and having experience, morgan is not the one disarming the bomb. he has literally no reason to be there. hotch is telling him to leave and he's refusing. he's not risking life and limb to disarm a bomb, he's risking life and limb to hold a frightened woman's hand while she prays. a woman he met about five seconds ago; i really just want to emphasize that morgan isn't doing this because it's his job. hell, he's defying orders. this isn't agent morgan doing a job, this is derek morgan being a person.

derek morgan would die and kill for someone before he trusted them to have his back. im going to be sick.

[seaweed-water]

my headcanon is that stiles is the alpha/dom/daddy in the bedroom bc derek hale is a good boy

but think about it

under the coping mechanism of his dark exterior, derek is a soft boy.

he lost his family and guiding factors at a young age. kids, especially kids who can shift, need structure and discipline. they need to be told what to do. he only had his sister to guide him, who was hardly an adult herself. plus the abuse from kate… he lost his childhood too soon. of course he has daddy/mommy issues.

on top of the limbic need to please. like, derek would rather chew his arm off than ever disappoint or disobey stiles. he would give stiles literally anything. just think of how wired he already is to please, to earn approval from the one he loves most in a world that’s been so terrible to him.

when stiles tells him to kneel, his knees buckle at the mere thought only to gaze up at at his mate for approval, did i do it right? and then absolutely gleam with pride when stiles tells him yes, baby, you’re my good boy

and we already know how saucy stiles is. he loves having control over a freaking werewolf, loves the power it brings to be the mate of an alpha. but it’s more than that- the ineffable trust derek places in him, how derek literally hands himself over to stiles for the taking. because derek knows stiles is the only person in the world who would never hurt him, so there’s nothing for him to worry about (that’s something for his dom to take care of, anyway)

plus, derek in a collar.

okay?

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

It Takes A Village Part 1 (Y/N Hotchner)

Warnings: some foul language, criminal minds level amount of gore

A/N: sorry this took so long to do lol it turned out to be mostly what I've written before lol

You weren’t pissed per se, just more… shocked, and maybe a little hurt, that Derek hadn’t spoken to you. One moment you were trying to fill out paperwork from a million different files, the next Derek and Garcia were telling the team they had found Declan. You had opted to wait with Garcia for Aaron to come back. It had been a hot minute since you’d seen him.

“Holy shit, you grew a beard?!” Is the first thing that slips out of your mouth. 

From there, everything was a blur. Doyle was in custody, he wasn’t exactly being helpful - which was annoying as it was his son you were trying to find afterall. 

“You get anywhere with Doyle?” Reid asked, as JJ, Derek, and Rossi walked back into the round table room.

“Doyle doesn’t think Gerace has the guts to take him on.” Derek said, you rolled your eyes. Of course he doesn’t, the man has a massive ego.

“But that’s definitely Gerace on the tape.” Garcia sighed as she sat down. 

Derek turned to your brother as he walked into the room. “Welcome back.”

“Thanks. Everybody take a seat.” You frowned, his tone (and eyebrows) indicating that something was definitely up. 

“Why? What’s going on? Is everything alright?” Derek asked, taking a seat next to you.

Aaron looked at you all, you were with Jack on this, you were not a fan of the beard. “Seven months ago I made a decision that affected this team.” Your brother stated. “As you all know Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle.”

You swallowed, hand reaching for Derek’s under the desk.

“But the doctors were able to stabilise her.” Aaron continued. “And she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under a covert exfiltration.”

You looked at your brother in disbelief, this didn’t make any sense. “Her identity was strictly need-to-know. And she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned to Paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to for her security.” 

“She’s alive?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed. 

“But we buried her.” Reid stated, looking up at Hotch from his seat. 

“As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me.”

“Any issues?” Derek asked, his voice clipped. “Yeah, I got issues.”

You turned, seeing Emily. Your face dropped. What the fuck. Maybe you were going insane? That was the only other option. Otherwise your brother had lied to you. The one person (apart from Derek) that you thought would never lie to you.

You turned to Aaron, who winced when he saw the hurt and betrayal that filled your eyes. You took a deep breath and just like that, the mask was up and the betrayal was hidden. You turned to Emily, “It’s great to see you’re okay,”

“It’s good to see you too.” She said, giving you a smile. 

You listened patiently as they all discussed the case. You didn’t have it in you. You just listened. As they continue, realising that the alpha of the team (a phrase you struggled to take seriously) was in fact a woman. When the team parted ways to investigate, you stood to make your way to the bathroom. 

“(Y/N)-”

“I don’t want to speak to you right now,���

“(Y/N), please just listen-”

“What, Aaron? You are the one person I could always trust and I did,” You paused, “There was no one else I trusted completely. I trusted you so much, you’re my big brother Aaron. I’ve always trusted you- not mum, not dad, heck I don’t even trust Sean as much, but you? I’ve always trusted you,”

“I’m sorry,” Aaron said, “We couldn’t tell anyone, it was for Emily’s safety,”

“We?”

“Me and JJ,”

“Right,” You said shortly, “JJ knew.”

“Just let me explain,”

“There’s nothing to explain.” You said shortly. “Emily’s alive and you chose to keep it from me.” 

“I had to,”

“Why because of protocol? Because it needed to be confidential?” You knew what you said was right because Aaron’s eyebrow softly twitched. “Who else would I have told Aaron? Who else? I don’t speak to anyone outside of this team! I don’t have a family, a Haley, a Will, children, fuck, I don’t even have a Sergio! I’ve got this team, that’s it! I wouldn’t have told anyone because I don’t have anyone to tell! You know that. That’s what hurts Aaron. So no, I don’t want to listen to you come up with some lame, half-ass excuse about safety.”

“(Y/N), I couldn't tell you in case you told anyone.” 

“Who would I have fucking told Aaron?! Who would I have told?!” You yell, fist slamming into the desk in front of you. “I have fuck all else! My life is this team and that's it! And you fucking know it! So please, tell me, who would I have told!”

You watch Aaron open his mouth for a split second before closing as he looks down.

“You know what, Aaron? Go fuck yourself. I can’t be fucked to deal with this right now.” You give him a tight smile before walking away.

[outtoshatter]

Inspired by @christinesficrecs, I'm going to do a few author spotlights! No one can stop me. I am going to shower love upon my pals and boost other writers in this fandom.

Up first we have @halevetica! She has so many options for readers!

Multi-Chapter Fics:

Leave Me in Ruins | 66K+ | 48 chapters tags: friends with benefits, slow burn, miscommunication

Summary: Derek finds himself in a difficult spot when he mistakenly sleeps with Stiles. The two agree to forget it but Derek can't. Before long, its becoming a regular thing, now Derek has to deal with the issue of falling even more for Stiles or losing him all together.

Stiles never dreamed of waking up next to Derek, but it's now a regular thing. However, he has to keep his emotions in check so Derek doesn't realize how he truly feels all while keeping their 'relationship' a secret from the pack and fighting the new big bad in town.

Like it or Not | 80k+ | 56 chapters tags: fake dating, enemies to lovers, mutual pining!

Summary: Stiles works as the editorial assistant at Vogue. He loves everything about his job except for his boss, Derek Hale. Derek Hale is the worst and Stiles hates him. But when Derek drags him to the yearly awards dinner within the company, he is forced to play boyfriend for the night to make Derek's ex jealous. Things couldn't get much worse…or so Stiles thought.

Same Old Song and Dance | Rated: E | 125k | 91 chapters tags: Alpha Derek, hunter Stiles, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers

Summary: Raised in the hunter life after his father was killed, Stiles hates werewolves. So when he lands a contract to kill the alpha of the pack that killed his father, he's elated. Until he runs into complications. The alpha is smart and strong and playing a game Stiles can't figure out. When secrets are revealed and new enemies made, Stiles must decide for himself what side he's on and who he can trust.

One shots:

Cute Together | 4k Summary: When Stiles gets stuck on a ski lift he meets Derek, who is scared of heights. He helps keep Derek calm until they can get rescued which leads to Derek teaching Stiles to ice skate. Along the way he helps Derek's two friends get together.

Promise | 3k Summary: Derek is stuck in the airport after his flight gets cancelled on Christmas eve when he meets Stiles Stilinski. Stiles is a friendly stranger that convinces Derek to have a little fun while stuck in the airport. His night with Stiles has more of an effect that Derek thought it would.

Feels Like Home | 4k Summary: Derek has spent years trying to quell the storm in his chest. The one that makes him feel lonely, like he doesn't belong. When searching for that feeling of home in New York where, he lived with Laura, he runs into Stiles Stilinski, who insists on Derek staying with him while in town. Derek shouldn't be shocked to find that Stiles feels like home.

Things to look forward to (aka works in progress!)

Shatter my Reality | 32k so far | 23 chapters to feast on! tags: mutual pining, jealous Stiles, ~magic~ Stiles, Stilinski twins! Summary: Months after the nogitsune, Stiles starts to see his own face around town. He dismisses it as PTSD. That is, until Lydia starts having a feeling that Stiles is going to die. As the pack scramble to find out what is going on, Stiles is forced to face a ghost from a past he didn't know he had and a future that seems to threaten his place in the pack.

Tangled Crowns | 23k so far~ | 14 terrific chapters to enjoy! tags: royal au, prince Stiles, prince Derek, magic Stiles! Summary: Flattery. Derek's life is full of it. Fake smiles, fake compliments, fake people. It's exhausting.

Desperate for a night away from the high expectations and rigid life of royalty, Derek escapes to a small tavern where he meets a sweet, attractive, genuine man who only gives him the name "Mischief". He has Derek swooning by the end of the night, and Derek doesn't swoon. Their night together, the first and only real connection Derek has had in years, if not his whole life, ends too soon, and he must return to his responsibilities.

Stiles isn't ready to give up on the mysterious, handsome "Samuel" that he met in the tavern, convinced they have a connection. He finds himself risking family secrets and even the peace of his own kingdom just to keep that connection even when it seems impossible. As circumstances force them together despite betrayal and aching hearts on both sides, Derek must fight both his heart and Stiles while Stiles struggles to prove to Derek that everything between them is real.

Go check out Halevetica's AO3 page and enjoy! Don't forget to mind the tags, leave a kudos, maybe even drop a comment!

[buckybarnesss]

stiles helping derek search for erica and boyd during the summer between season 2 and 3a is the only thing that makes sense.

allison was in france the entire summer only having just recently returned.

lydia occupied herself with various fuck 'em and leave 'em boys to get over jackson

scott was doing the be a better scott mccall program.

isaac was looking for erica and boyd

and stiles was doing what?????????? exactly??????????

he and scott don't seem to have spent a lot of time together since scott was doing summer school, working and self improvement.

but stiles? nothing is said.

except after the incident with the deer he immediately searches deer accident reports.

the sheriff seems quite fed up with him given his "oh god please go to school" comment so he's probably been around the house a lot, probably doing research on various topics but he's been behaving himself since stiles says his dad has nothing on him.

he is also the one to remind scott that derek's been busy with looking for erica and boyd when scott wants to go talk to him about the tattoo saying "don't you think derek has his hands full?"

since when is stiles on the defend derek committee? let alone leading it?

when scott and stiles are on the phone together after the bird attack and derek's taking isaac to the hale house scott tells stiles to meet them at derek's house.

stiles expresses both surprise and confusion at this probably in my estimation because stiles knows about and has been to the loft while scott has no idea the loft exists yet.

scott even asks derek after he hangs up with stiles if derek still lives there and derek says no that the county took the house.

and of course there's the new familiarity between stiles and derek during the whole scene when derek blow torches scott's tattoo.

the infamous forever long tracking stare.

they're also casually loitering together waiting for scott to come to. love that for them.

but the most damning thing is how little stiles says when scott finds out about the alpha pack. stiles doesn't complain about derek not telling them because stiles already knew.

derek never says it. he only mentions peter and isaac but he keeps throwing looks in stiles's direction who is folding his arms and fidgeting.

there's a little moment where scott asks "how do you deal with an alpha pack?" and derek responds with "with all the help i can get."

it immediately cuts to stiles and scott raises his eyebrows with realization. he looks at stiles and stiles does a small little guilty head nod but they're interrupted by isaac before he can say anything.

this whole moment is basically derek omitting stiles's involvement but scott figures it out from context clues, derek's terrible poker face and inability to not look at stiles.

he figures out that stiles was not only helping look for boyd and erica but also knew about the alpha pack and that he kept it from him.

those trust issues already be percolating. scott didn't tell stiles about the gerard argent plan. stiles didn't tell scott about helping derek over the summer.

[namelessmoons-corner]

☆.｡.:° Moon's Daily Fic Rec #5 °:.｡.☆

More information here. Fandom: Teen Wolf Name: don't know what i'm supposed to do (haunted by the ghost of you) Author: @crazyassmurdererwall Rating: Teen and Up Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Talia Hale & Stiles Stilinski Tags: Ghosts, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Insecure Stiles Stilinski, Oblivious Stiles Stilinski, stiles needs a nap, somebody help him please, Derek cares he’s just not great at saying the right words, spoiler: he gets better at it, Don't copy to another site Word Count: 30k

Stiles sees dead people. Yep. Seriously. (He’s got this. He’s totally got this. So what if one of them is Derek’s mom?)

Personal thoughts:

Ok! for starter i love the double plot ! on one side Stiles has the girl in a yellow dress to help, and on the other, he has to tell derek/the pack about seeing ghosts.

Stiles has a lot of trust issues, and i think that's a bit sad, because trust issues don't appear from nowhere, there was a catalyst. Maybe low self confidence, the pack not believing him about multiple things, a mix of everything…

And Zeke! honestly the goat of this story. I really liked his calmness and the way he tries to make Stiles's life easier by either disappearing or telling other ghosts to back off. And his story too! so sad and so emotional :( +the fact that the family still honor him with a picture :((((

Anyways, all of this to say that i really loved this fic <3,

☽ Moon ☾

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hello i hope you’re doing great ! I’ve been looking for this fic fir the longest time and I was wondering if you had heard of it. Stiles was the son of a fairy princess, who died when he was young, and he was always told by his dad to stay out of the forest, but one day he goes in and gets kidnapped by the fairie queen bc she wants to marry him to derek so she can keep her other daughter with her. Derek and his pack thinks they’re gonna get the fae princess and they’re pissed off when they get stiles, and there’s a scene where he’s locked in a cave and he starts slowly dying bc as a half fae he neeeds honey and sunlight

Thanks for all your work in general, keep being awesome 👌

Hi anon! @midnightwinterhawk says it's this one.

Somewhere to Start by Lissadiane

(1/1 I 33,522 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles has always known that he isn't quite human - the plant life that tends to sprout around him whenever he gets upset or excited gives it away. He's never really fit in among the regular people in Beacon Hills and is determined to wait it out, go to college, and find somewhere to belong. He's forced to abandon those plans, however, after he desperately agrees to enter into an arranged marriage to save his father's life.

An arranged marriage with an angry, sometimes furry dude with trust issues. It's all very Beauty and the Beast, without the singing candlesticks.

[multifandomlover01]

Lovesick Idiots

Spencer Reid x Female!Reader (girl is used but reader is not ot explicitly AFAB)

Key: Y/F/N = Your First Name, Y/L/N = Your Last Name

WC: ~1.7k

Warnings: only Penelope and Derek being shady

Summary: Spencer and reader both like each other and Penelope and Derek try to get them together

I didn’t imagine any specific season but it is confined by the characters mentioned: Hotch, Emily, JJ, Derek, and Penelope

Gif credit: fightingdragonswithwho

“Why aren’t you and Spencer together?” Penelope asked you out of the blue one day when you walked into her lair to check on info updates.

“E-excuse me?”

“You two are perfect for each other! Why aren’t you together?”

“Maybe because neither of us wants to make the first move…so neither of us has…we’re each waiting for the other to.”

“Well one of you better grow some cajones bc you’re meant to be.”

“I don’t even know if he likes me.”

“Oh, he does, trust me.”

“How do you know?”

“Because Derek told me.”

“And how does Derek know?”

“Because Spencer told him.”

“I don’t suppose you’ve told Derek that I like Spencer and that he’s told him that…”

“He should be doing so right about now.”

“I smell a conspiracy.”

“We don’t mean you two harm.”

“I don’t think one has to mean harm to conspire with someone against someone else. It’s typical, but not necessary.”

“Well it’s gonna be fine.”

“You should’ve let us handle it.”

“But you said it yourself: if it were up to the two of you, nobody would say anything to anyone.”

“So you mercifully decided to intervene?”

“Exactly.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do now that Spencer knows that I like him? How am I gonna be able to work with him…even look at him!”

“You know he likes you too, so you tell him you like him back.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not? He’s not gonna reject you. He likes you too.”

“Us liking or not liking each other isn’t the issue. The issue is we’re both kinda scared of entering into a relationship.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because I’m me and I know how I feel. And Spencer told me he felt that way.”

“Why would he tell you that.”

“I asked him why he’d never been in a relationship.”

“And he didn’t catch that you were asking because you liked him slash were interested in him?”

“Have you met him?”

“I see your point. You can both be scared together, then! You’ll get through it together. At least have a conversation with him about it. That should at least be a little easier now that you both know, right?”

“One can only hope.”

————————————————————————

“Hey kid, can I ask you something?

Spencer contemplated his answer for a few seconds before giving it.

“Sure.”

“Why aren’t you and Y/F/N together?”

“Excuse me?”

“Come on, I know you like her. You’re always looking at her when she’s not looking. Why don’t you just tell her you like her? Don’t tell me you think you two wouldn’t be great together.”

“I never should’ve told you that I liked her. I never should’ve let you talk me into having drinks with you that night.”

Spencer didn’t answer Derek’s question and he was still waiting on an answer. Spencer sighed.

“I’m not even sure she likes me back, alright?She probably doesn’t. I mean, why would she?”

“Are you kidding me right now, of course she likes you.”

“Really? H-How do you know that?”

“She actually takes the time of day to talk to you and get to know you. She doesn’t interrupt you when you ramble. You should see the way she looks at you when you do.”

“That’s not any indication she likes me in a romantic sense. She’s just being friendly…does she really look at me when I’m talking…like looking at me the way I look at her?”

“Yeah, kid, she does. And…I happen to know with absolute certainty and on good authority that she does indeed like you.”

“Is that authority Garcia?”

“The one and only.”

“You…uh…you didn’t tell her that I liked Y/F/N did you?”

“I might’ve.”

“Why would you do that?! What if she tells her?”

“I’m sure she’s doing that right about now.”

“Wh-? Did you two conspire against us?!”

“Don’t worry, it’s not anything bad.”

“You don’t call the girl you’ve had a crush on since you met her now knowing you have a crush on her bad?”

“What’s so bad? She likes you too. Now all you gotta do is confess it to each other and boom, happily ever after.”

“It’s not that easy, Derek.”

“Of course it is.”

“Maybe it would be for you, but not for us. We’re both kinda terrified of entering into a relationship. Neither of us has really ever been in one before.”

“How do you know she’s terrified of entering into a relationship?”

“Because she told me. She asked me why I had never dated anyone before and I told her I was scared that I’d screw something up and she said she felt the same.”

“Whoa, wait, she asked you why you’d never been in a relationship before and you didn’t take that as a hint that she liked you?”

“N-no. I didn’t. Should I have? Was it?”

“Probably, yeah.”

“Damn it.”

————————————————————————

You got the information from Penelope that you wanted and walked back to the bullpen where you spotted Derek talking with Spencer. Your eyes met for a brief second before you both diverted your gazes.

“So what did Garcia say?” Hotch asked.

You soon took off for your destination. You knew by Spencer’s body language that Derek had indeed told Spencer how you felt about him. Neither of you would look at each other. You didn’t even sit next to or across from each other on the plane like you usually did. You noticed Derek would be looking at Spencer and you periodically. You were pretty sure he was texting Penelope updates as he was on his phone more than usual (you can do that in flight right? Lol)

Hotch paired Spencer and you up on victimology like he often did. You both tried to focus on the work and not on each other. But you kept stealing glances at each other. Neither of you was able to maintain eye contact for very long (which you hadn’t done in the presence of each other for at least two years).

“Do you uh…would you like some water?”

You’d been working for a couple of hours and oftentimes forgot to take care of your bodies in the midst of working.

“Uh, yeah. Thanks.”

He did not say “you’re welcome”. He simply left to go to the vending machine to get two bottles of water. He came back and handed you one without a word. You continued to work.

After the case wrapped up, which took several days, you were grateful to be headed home. Spencer and you again did not sit together on the plane. You sat with JJ and Emily while Spencer sat with Hotch and Derek.

“Is everything ok with you two?” JJ asked you. You looked up from your book.

“What?”

“You and Spencer usually sit together, don’t you? Something happen between you two?”

“N-no. It’s fine. We’re fine.”

“You got the victimology nailed down quicker than usual.” Emily observed.

“I’m sorry?”

“When you two are paired together to do victimology, you usually get sidetracked slightly by discussion. It usually takes longer. You two not talking?”

“It was a difficult case, we were focused more than usual, that’s all.”

“Then why aren’t you sitting together?”

“We don’t always sit together.”

“Yes you do.”

You sighed.

“Penelope told me that Spencer likes me. And Derek told Spencer that I like him.”

“How does that explain why you aren’t sitting together?”

“It’s…awkward now, I guess.”

“Well if you both like each other and you both know you like each other…why wouldn’t you be talking. Why aren’t you making date plans?”

“We’ve both never been in any kind of a relationship before…I think we’re both kinda scared of it.”

“Why? I think you two would make a great couple.”

“Regardless of that, it’s easier for you to say that than it is for us to live it.”

“I guess you’re right but even if you’re scared that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Life’s full of risks. Things worth doing often involve risk and you have to take that chance sometimes.”

You sighed again.

“Maybe you’re right. I really like him.”

“Then tell him, girl.”

————————————————————————

“Victimology go ok?” Hotch asked Spencer, who was pulled out of his head by his boss’s voice.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You and Y/L/N work together ok on this case?”

“Oh, yeah, fine.”

“You’re sure you two are ok?” Derek asked.

“Yes, we’re fine. Why would you think we weren’t?”

“You two aren’t sitting together.”

“I wonder why that is, Morgan.” Spencer gave him a look.

“Whoa, hey, don’t blame me for this.”

“I’m not. I’m blaming you and Garcia.”

“Is there something I should know?” Hotch asked.

“No. Everything’s fine. Not work related so you don’t have to worry.”

“Why don’t you let me decide whether or not I should be worried. If it’s a personal issue, it could very well influence your professional conduct.”

“There isn’t a personal issue.”

“There isn’t?” Derek asked.

“Why don’t you just mind your own business.”

“Ok. Reid. You tell me right now what’s going on. I don’t care what it is.”

“Derek and Penelope conspired together to get Y/F/N and I together.”

“By doing what?”

“By telling each of us that the other liked us.”

“So Morgan told you that Y/L/N liked you and Garcia told Y/L/N that you liked her?”

“Yes.”

“And…what…it didn’t go well?”

“Did what not go well?”

“Did you tell each other how you felt?”

“No.”

“So you’re just avoiding each other then.”

“Yes.”

“You gotta tell each other. I don’t understand why you won’t.”

“Maybe because we’re scared, Derek.”

“Of what?”

“Neither of us has ever been in a relationship with anyone before.”

“You’re perfect for each other, you’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Look, kid. I’m sorry. It’s ok to be scared. But you can be scared together, alright? Nothing in life that doesn’t involve a little risk is worth doing. Love is risky, but it’s worth it if you’re willing to take that risk.”

“Maybe you’re right. I really like her.”

“Then tell her that, man.”

————————————————————————

Spencer and you stood up at the same time. You turned around to face each other.

“Hey, I like you.” You both said at the same time.

“What?” You hadn’t heard each other.

Everyone else was laughing.

“I uh…I like you…a lot…but you already know that, don’t you?”

You nodded and chuckled.

“Yeah. Guess you know I like you too, huh?”

Spencer nodded.