#department stores malls and thrift stores are my happy place

[softestrosepetal]

I want someone to go shopping withhhh 😭

I love love love shopping and literally my heart breaks that I don’t have a partner who I can hook my arm with and drag around stores with me

I just want someone to try clothes on for 🥲

^ literally me if you even care ✋🙄

[rinnysega]

December, 1979 - A Gustavo Drabble (Novel AU)

A small drabble for @thebiggestnope for the holidays. Writing the book has taken up all my time, but it's nice to do these small drabbles once in a while. Here's a little short that takes place in the world of the novel in those beginning stages of the romance between Gustavo and Ozzy~

--------------------------------------------

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? In the lane, snow is glistening A beautiful sight We're happy tonight Walking in a winter wonderland

Perry Como’s melody followed Gustavo around the department store as he looked through several racks of wool sweaters, scarves, and tweed blazers. Maybe it was the lighting clashing with the fabrics or the new pair of glasses he'd just picked up at Pearle Vision, but something didn’t feel right, and none of these were striking him to be a gift he’d want to give to Ozzy. 

Gustavo was a man who wouldn’t mind wearing the whole of the Sears catalog, but Ozzy’s fashion sense was just out of the boundary of where his wallet could reach, and nothing here seemed to compete by comparison either.

Maybe getting Ozzy a dog for Christmas back in 1976 was starting off their relationship a little too strong. The previous two years of a vase he made in an art class and a Stetson from their trip to New Mexico weren't quite living up to par.

“Gustavo?” a voice sounded from the walkway. “Hey, I thought that was you.” 

A short head tilt would reveal Augie Jones coming through the narrow pathway off the linoleum - several bags in hand on his way from the inner workings of the mall back out to the parking lot. 

“Christmas shopping too?” Gustavo asked. 

“Yeah,  I’ve got some nephews back in Utah really into those little Matchbox cars. What about you?”

“Trying to find something for Ozzy, but that man’s hard to shop for.” Gustavo stepped over to a tie display. “God, these are ugly.” 

“I got Frank tickets to see The Music Man at the Pantages. I can call my friend at the box office and see if he can get two extra seats with us.”

“What date?”

“January 4th.” 

“Sorry, Ozzy’s got a business trip in New York. He’s flying out on the first. Thanks for the offer though.” 

“Well, if it helps, Frank told me that Virgil told him that Michael told Rupert that Ozzy told him he’s been craving a specific brand of wine from Italy that he hasn’t been able to find since the art gala back in August.”

“Augie, look at me.” Gustavo gestured to himself in his thrift store attire with peeling sneakers. “I know wine comes in red or white, and even if that wasn’t the extent of my knowledge, I only have ten dollars to my name until after Christmas. These damn things weren’t cheap." He adjusted the eye glasses on the bridge of his noses.  

Better than to correct him on the varieties of wine, or to tell him he looked different yet distinguished with glasses, Augie thought a moment before digging through one of his shopping bags. In a gift bag of wine he intended for Virgil, he pulled out a card with information on the different types and handed it over. 

“Here, use this. Frank says Virgil and Ozzy have the same taste. These are what they like.” He pointed to a selection of reds on the top row. “I got Virgil the one on the far left, but the one next to it was cheaper and has a nicer label if you ask me. It may not be the specific brand he wants, but it’s the thought that counts. I’m assuming you’re cooking dinner?”

“For Christmas? Of course.”

“So imagine how nice that would be for him to sit down to a nice, home cooked meal, and you surprise him with a wine you picked out yourself.” 

“Technically you picked it.” 

“Our little secret then.” 

Gustavo smiled, looking down at the wine card. “Thanks, Augie. I’ll be home taking care of Dolly while Ozzy’s out of town, so if you and Frank want to come over for dinner one night, the invitation’s open.” 

“Sounds good. Listen, these bags are getting heavy, so I’m going to head out, but don’t you worry about a thing. Ozzy likes you, and he’s going to love anything you get him. Merry Christmas - I’ll have Frank give you a call when we figure out plans after the new year.” 

“Merry Christmas. Drive safe."

Gustavo waved him off and looked back down at the wine card on his way back toward the interior of the mall.

Maybe his New Year's Resolution for 1980 would be to actually educate himself on wine and surprise Ozzy with something better by his birthday.

[ptersparkers]

mall date

summary: you don’t want to spend time in a mall. neither does tony stark. ergo, you go on an adventure that leads you two to become much closer than you think.

a/n: ahhh i’m so happy you guys liked the young tony fic from my ‘the adventures of y/n stark’ series! here’s more young!tony for you all.

warnings: some swearing.

masterlist / tagslist

The last thing you wanted to do was hang out with your stepmother and stepsister at the mall for the day. Alas, your father had begged you to take them because of external complications (that’s what he called it) and said he’d owe you a huge favor. As if he didn’t owe you multiple ones already. But you loved him despite getting married to the Wicked Witch of the West and her daughter.

It was nearing eleven in the morning when you three entered the space on a Saturday. You weren’t sure why your stepmother, Alexandra, thought it would be a good idea to shop on a weekend when all the high school girls raided the most popular stores and when the boys bought too much cologne. She looked at the younger children in disgust before pulling you both into another high-end store to shop for clothing.

You felt quite out of place. You and your father weren’t the most well-off and how your father married Alexandra, a wealthy woman, was unbeknownst to you. You were convinced she had put a spell on him but as long as you didn’t have to interact with her or your stepsister, Ally, you were happy.

The racks of clothing, you had concluded, could probably pay for your college tuition. The shoes on display weren’t your style and could equally set you for the rest of your life.

The department store was fairly big and you found it easy enough to get lost in the store. Besides, it’s not like either of the two women before you were paying any attention (not that they ever did).

So, you wandered around the aisles, looking aimlessly at articles of clothing out of sheer boredom. It wasn’t until you had found a head poking out of a coat rack that you felt like your day was turning around.

“This is an unusual place to hide,” you commented before gazing at the coats around the person who hid in between the jackets.

“This is an unusual place for a woman to be shopping,” he replied, gazing at the sign that said ‘Men’s Coats.’

“Your point? I can wear what I want,” you said, sliding a hanger to your left to cover his face. He gasped in surprised and lost his footing, which resulted in him trying to grab onto the fabric and pull himself together.

The stranger eventually stepped out from the coats and looked around before straightening himself.

“Touché,” he replied.

“What were you doing in there anyway?” you asked.

“Hiding from my parents. Not really in the ‘shopping’ mood’,” he said while making quotation marks with his fingers. “I was planning on staying in my bedroom all day but they had other plans.”

“Don’t I know it,” you said, rolling your eyes before resuming to look at the jackets. “My father begged me to take my stepmom and stepsister to the mall. And for what?” The stranger chuckled when you angrily slid the hanger, not finding a coat you liked.

“The name’s Tony,” he said, holding his hand out for you to shake. You eyed his hand and raised an eyebrow at him before shaking his hand.

“Y/N,” you replied. “Can’t say that it’s normal for me to meet strangers who hide in coat racks.”

“If it’s all the same to you, I don’t usually meet strangers in a mall.”

“Touche.”

“So, why didn’t you want to bring your, who was it, to the mall?” he asked as you walked through the department store.

“Too picky,” you said as you walked towards the shoes. “I don’t particularly like coming here anyway unless I know what I need and shopping isn’t my definition of a good time.” You pulled a pair of white heels from a rack and held it in front of Tony. “Are these cute?”

Tony shook his head and put them back. “You can do so much better than this store. Trust me when I say these brands are what everyone’s wearing and you, Y/N, don’t look like someone who would be caught dead wearing something other people are wearing.”

You thought for a moment. “Okay, that’s true. I usually go thrift shopping but Ally just had to duck her head in here.”

“Stepsister?” You nodded. “Ah. Siblings are complicated. I can’t imagine step siblings. Well, I can’t imagine siblings at all.”

“You’re an only child?” He nodded. “Well, before Ally came into my life four years ago, so was I. I can’t tell if we don’t get along because I have no people skills or if she just sucks.” Tony laughed and watched as you pulled out blouse to look at.

“She probably just sucks. I mean, we’ve known each other for ten minutes and I already feel like we’re best friends.”

“Who says we aren’t?”

Tony watched as you put the blouse back and crossed your arms in defeat. It was as if, in that moment, a light bulb went on in his head because you saw as his face lit up with a realization.

“How about we get out of here until someone starts looking for us? I highly doubt your stepmom’s gonna be looking for you if she’s shopping and I highly doubt you want to stay here waiting for her,” he proposed.

You didn’t need any more convincing.

“Okay, let’s go before someone notices.”

Tony walked out of the store and you followed suit, not caring which direction you went in. The mall seemed much more packed than when you had walked in thirty minutes ago and blamed it on the young teenage population who felt like they needed to have the latest styles and technology.

“I hate the mall,” he uttered when a group of girls bumped into him without apologizing.

You chuckled. “Me too. I only come here if I want frozen yogurt.”

“The mall is a breeding ground for teenage angst. It’s there teenagers go to die,” he said.

“I think my hopes and dreams were crushed here when my dad refused to let me get my ears pierced when I was nine,” you said as you passed the ‘Claire’s.’ “I don’t really see the appeal of walking around the same place every single weekend.”

Tony looked at you with a smile. “I’m happy to know you hate the mall just as much as I do. Did you know that this is the biggest mall in New York?”

“Huh, I didn’t know that.”

Tony smirked. “This means we have a bigger chance of getting lost and not running into people we don’t want to see.”

You sighed gratefully. “It’s like you read my mind. Sometimes I need a break from my life and forget everyone I know for a couple of hours. I can’t walk into the kitchen without my stepmom needing to know my business.”

“I know the feeling,” Tony said while rolling his eyes. “My old man’s got no time for me and tries to make up for it by forcing his way into my life. It’s cool, I don’t need him, but I don’t think he knows that yet.”

“Well my dad’s a good man but I don’t know why he ever considered marrying Alexandra,” you said. “He’s not the gold digging type because her financials weren’t disclosed until after the marriage. It was when she proposed a prenup did he realize just how rich she really is.”

“Ouch,” Tony said. “Rich people can be the absolute worst.”

“Oh, do you have experience?”

“Let’s just say I have my fair share of opinions and most rich people are the same,” he said. “Do you want a pretzel?”

You looked at the different choices. “You know what, Tony? After the day I’ve had, I’d love a pretzel.”

The soft baked good was in your hands in no time and you linked your arm with Tony’s, peacefully walking in a random direction while happily chewing on the pretzel. There was no rhyme or reason to your outing with a stranger you met thirty minutes ago, but in that short amount of time, you two had brought each other unexpected joy to an otherwise dull and boring shopping trip.

“How old are you anyway?” you asked. Tony took a bite of his pretzel and looked down at you.

“Twenty one. Why do you ask?”

You shrugged. “I dunno, just curious I guess. For all I know, you could be thirty and look really young.”

Tony gave you a look. “And how old are you?”

“Nineteen,” you said without skipping a beat.

“You’re a child,” Tony said before tapping your nose with the pad of his index finger.

You scrunched your nose and Tony thought that was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

“I’m turning twenty next week,” you said, feigning an annoyed expression. “So I’m not a baby.”

“Your birthday’s next week, eh? Well, we should do something special right now.”

“Right now?”

“Of course. You know, just in case I don’t see you next week.”

Neither of you wanted to think about what would happen when you two parted ways and resumed your lives apart from each other. You cleared your throat and threw away the remaining trash from your pretzel with Tony following suit.

“What kinds of things do you like to do, Y/N?”

You put your index finger on your chin as you thought for dramatic effect. “Well, I’m a sucker for photo booths and anything cheesy as long as I get to laugh at myself. Window shopping’s cool too,” you said with a shrug.

“I’m gonna make this day the best damn early birthday you’ve ever had,” Tony declared.

You let out a chuckle. “Okay there, Casanova. First let’s find a photo booth.”

To your luck, you didn’t need to walk very far to find one that wasn’t being occupied. You went to insert a few dollars in the slot, but Tony insisted that he pay for everything today since he probably wouldn’t be seeing you on his special day. You argued at first, but that made Tony want to pay for you even more. You sat inside the dark booth and watched as Tony closed the curtains behind him when he sat down.

“Okay, how does this thing work?” Tony asked as he fumbled with the buttons and red the instructions.

“I think we have to pick our borders first,” you said, looking at the different frames. “Ooh, I like the yellow one!”

“Yellow one it is,” he said with a smile. “Okay, next step is to press the button. Wait, the red one or the green one?”

“Uh,” you said, leaning your chin on Tony’s shoulder to peer at the instructions in front of him. “The green one. The red one’s for cancelling pictures.”

“Aren’t you a smart cookie.”

You leaned back and fanned yourself. “What can I say, Tony?”

“Okay, what poses do you want to do?”

“I know I want to do one where we put our middle fingers up to the camera,” you said. “We have two more pictures, right? Well we can do something cheesy. Like a pinkie promise.”

Tony gave you a look. “What are we, twelve?”

“I’ll be thirteen next week.”

You both laughed.

“Okay, what about pose number three?”

“Surprise me.”

Tony hit the green button and it counted down from five. You both tried your best to look serious in the camera while putting up your middle fingers. The camera flashed and you both scrambled to hold onto each other’s pinkies when the be t flash went off. Completely unaware of what the third photo was, you awkwardly posed when you felt Tony’s lips press against your cheek, leaving you with a surprised expression when the camera flashed for the final time.

You both hopped out of the booth and waited for your pictures to print.

“We look so cute,” you commended while looking at the third photo.

“You don’t look like you want to die,” he said, referring to your surprise in the third photo. You let out a laugh and tucked the photo in your purse.

“I bet you say that to all the other girls.”

“What other girls?”

You smacked Tony’s chest and he linked your arm in his once again. You looked at your watch and saw that you had been gone for nearly an hour and Tony was your bewildered expression, wondering what you’d do next. But to his surprise, you didn’t say anything about the time.

“Tell me about yourself,” Tony said. “What were you like as a kid? I bet you were a cute kid.”

“I was the cutest kid on the playground,” you huffed. “Well, I don’t really know what there is to say. I was a pretty mundane kid growing up like how typical suburban kids do. My mom left my father and I when I was eight and I haven’t heard from her since. But my dad and I managed just fine for a few years until, you know.”

“Suburban, eh? I wouldn’t loved to live in the suburbs.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well,” he began, “I grew up in Long Island but spent a lot of time in Manhattan and New York City for my father’s work. It always felt like I was growing up too fast with a lot of expectations. I never really liked those.”

“Me either,” you replied. “Alexandra, my stepmom, hates that I’m not like her kid. She hates that I love science instead of the arts. She refused to go to any of my tech conventions growing up so so usually has to find my own way to those things.”

“My dad’s kind of the same. I mean, he has all these expectations but isn’t around to see them come to fruition. I think he wants me to be a younger him but that’s not for me.”

“What about your mom?”

Tony smiled. “She’s a gentle woman. Very kind, very soft spoken. Always tried her best to help me on my homework when my father wasn’t around. I don’t think I could ever hate her.”

“Same with my father,” you said. “Why he married...her, I will never understand.”

“Sometimes I feel that way too. Is it wrong to think that about your biological parent?”

You thought for a moment. “No, I don’t think so. Family doesn’t have a set of rules everyone follows closely. The people you were born with are just human, like the rest of us, and that means they’re going to make mistakes and act on their own free will. That doesn’t mean you have to forgive them either.”

“Damn. Y/N. Are you sure you’re nineteen and not in your wise years?”

You laughed. “I don’t know, Tony. I’ve figured that it’s best to keep people who you want close and everyone else at bay. You have the family you were born in, but you can also choose who you let in.”

“I’m gonna be honest and say that before meeting you, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten as close to someone so quickly.”

“Ditto,” you said, looking up at Tony with a genuine grin.

“You guys are too cute,” a woman commented. “Reminds me of me and my husband.”

“Oh,” you started, “we’re not-”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Tony interrupted. “I’m the luckiest man alive.” You raised an eyebrow as he kissed your temple. He looked down at you and sent a wink your way, which made you blush. 

“Y/N, is that you?” you heard your stepmother ask. 

“Oh, fuck me,” you groaned as you attempted to hide yourself in Tony’s chest. 

“Evil stepmother?” he asked. You nodded silently. 

“We’ve been looking for you for fifteen minutes,” you heard her shout from a fair distance away. 

“Do you trust me?” Tony asked. You looked up at him. 

“I did the second I left that God awful department store with you.”

He smiled and let go of your body to cup your jawline with his hands, leaning in to press your lips onto his. Your eyes fluttered closed when you felt his lips move against yours and he let his thumbs rub soothing circles on your cheek. You gripped the opening of his jacket, desperate to pull him closer and he seemed to feel the same when he let his chest pressed against yours. 

Tony was the one to pull away first and you whimpered quietly at the loss of his touch. You opened your eyes to see him already looking back at you.

“Your lips are soft,” you said before pressing a quick kiss to his lips once more. 

“What was that for?” Tony asked with a grin. 

You shrugged, your grin equally as big. “That was for me.”

Tony kissed you once again. “That was for me too.” 

***

Taglist:

@kath94210 @sessi03 @olliekookie @edgyhargreeves @simonsbluee @meraki--me @sleep-i-ness @amourski @zaynjawy @katiemcrae @captainlarsonn.

[imagethat]

A Day With V | V x Reader Fluff

After the events of DMC5, V survives through the magic that the reader had. V x Wiccan reader. Based on my previous post about the house I headcanon V living in. Fluff~ (P.S. I don't know how to do the 'under the cut' thing, I don't have a computer. Sorry for the long post/^\)

Today was going to be a good day. The forecast predicted mostly sunny with a slight overcast. Morning rays dripped into the living room and kitchen as you went about your morning routine. Setting a kettle on the stove, you measured a precise amount of tea leaves to put into each cup. You had grown the flowers yourself and dried them with meticulous attention to detail, wanting each cup to be perfect. While you waited for the water to boil you went over to the couch and sprawled out to enjoy this peaceful moment in private with a book. It was one your roommate had recommend to you. It was of course very descriptive but slightly ambiguous. It had some undertones of romance too, which you couldn't help but wonder if that was his weird way of flirting with you. V was an odd and mysterious person. You knew of his past, where he came from, and of how you had saved him. The bond you shared during the Quipoths reign of tyranny was stronger than even the trees roots. But even at that, V still had a lot to learn and experience in his newfound life. You eagerly helped him at every step, starting with allowing him to stay with you. Dante had agreed to it simply because Vergil needed time to adjust to his new life as well, and having both posted up at Devil May Cry would've been awkward to say the least. You didn't mind his company, even enjoyed it. He was becoming a soothing presence in your everyday life. As your thoughts drifted off, you didn't notice V come out of his room. He turned the stove off because the water was boiling, poured you two both a cup of tea, then took a seat beside you. "Today looks like it'll be lovely, how are you faring?" He questioned and you smiled gratefully while taking the tea. "I'm doing good, and you?" You asked in return. He simply closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. You had opened the windows earlier to let fresh air in and lit a nicely scented candle. You didn't need V to speak to know he was enjoying the moment. While the two of you enjoyed your cups of tea in silence, you pondered what you'd do today. Each day you tried to experience something new with V, to help familiarize him with the world. It's been two months since the Quipoth broke Red Grave but you wouldn't even be able to tell with how tranquil it seemed right now. You hadn't gotten V much clothes since then. Just a few spare outfits from Dante and Nero. Before you could ask if he'd like to go shopping though he spoke up. "This tea is quite good, I think your skills are improving. Though, I think it could benefit from something to balance its sweetness." He commented and you nodded. "Tomorrow we can bake something to go with our tea if you'd like." You offered and he nodded softly, his black hair flowing with the movement of his head. "That'd be wonderful, please do let me do the measuring though." He replied with a teasing little smirk which made you scrunch your nose at him while crossing your arms childishly. After a short while in silence once more you got up. "I'm going to go get ready, you should too." You said. "Where might you be taking me today?" He questioned, with slight excitement in his eyes. "We should probably get you some clothes that are suitable for someone of your caliber." You teased and pretended to bow. He chuckled which you internally blushed at. His voice was deep and could make you flush a deep red without warning. After taking a shower and dressing for the weather you were ready. V was already at the kitchen counter waiting for you by the time you were done. You gave one final check to make sure you had everything before departing. While getting ready you had put some thought into the stores you wanted to go to, trying your best to choose places you thought V would like. If you were honest, it was a bit hard to tell what his fashion sense was. You knew his choice of clothes previously was simply because they were all he could find after being split from Vergil and since then he'd never gotten the chance to choose his own clothes. Fall was starting to change the trees. Leaves made satisfying crunching noises beneath your feet as the two of you walked together. You were too distracted with your thoughts to notice V's eyes lingering on you. He enjoyed the way you seemed to put extra effort into stepping on the fallen leaves. You reached your first destination, which was a mall. Originally you thought he wouldn't enjoy the crowds, but the mall just had so many different types of clothes to offer. Plus you could stop by a bookstore there as well. V seemed to walk closer to you when inside, keeping his head down. He was uninterested in speaking to others, but it was hard not for people to look at him. He was tall and anyone would be lying if they said he wasn't gorgeous. Somewhat to your disappointment as well was the fact that he didn't seem interested in too many of the shops either. And you had to put in a little extra effort to get him to go into any of them. V isn't very frivolous per se, seeking out comfortable and functional clothes over the most fashionable types. When you passed by the bookstore though, he took your hand and practically dragged you in. A testament to how much enjoyed the comfort of a good book. You were okay with this and enjoyed seeing him so happy. The way he got completely lost in the pages or how he'd excitedly explain the synopsis of a book to you never failed to capture your heart. But after a few hours you felt it important to remind him of today's goal. "I think we've spent long enough here, we should go look somewhere else." You said softly, being respectful of the other customers, especially the ones reading. He gave you a sad look, pleading to you with his eyes. "Just a little longer, please?" He asked while placing a hand on top of yours. You couldn't help it, giving into staying for a little while longer. After another hour you brought up leaving once again. "I'll get you that book you're holding, but only if we can leave now." You offered and he seemed to contemplate the offer before agreeing. "We can go to the library tomorrow." You added to cheer him up a little. On the walk to your next destination he continued to read, and multiple times you had to make sure he didn't bump into anything. He could be a real dork sometimes honestly. You decided to go to a thrift store as your second destination, simply because the prices would be more reasonable and there would be a wide range of items. You hoped he could find some decorations for his room too, really wanting to make your apartment as home-y as possible. You left him to look at the clothes while you searched through the stores CD rack. Since the CD's were so cheap, you got into the habit of just buying whatever seemed interesting. Though, you left V a little to long as he found his way to the book section. Much to your suprise though, he had a few items of clothing picked out. "Do you ever think of anything besides reading?" You teased. "Well," he pondered before looking down at you, "I suppose you cross my mind every now and then." He mused and you just rolled your eyes before taking a look at the clothes he had chosen out. A few simple T-shirts, some pull over sweaters, and some jeans. Underneath the clothes though you found an interesting quill pen and inkwell. It looked old so he probably wouldn't be writing with it but it would look nice on his book shelf. You smiled softly before returning his items to the small carry around cart. "Well Mr. Poetry, are you ready to go?" You teased, using the name Dante usually called V. You sorta wanted to have V choose out a real name for himself, and you would have no problems if he preferred V, but you hadn't asked yet. "Hmmm. I suppose so." He responded, clearly half submerged mentally in the book he was holding. You stowed away your thoughts and nudged him slightly to remind him that you were leaving. After paying for everything you hummed softly. "Is there anything else you need? We still have time to go to another shop." You offered and V nodded no. "You've been kind enough already. I am very grateful." He replied. You two promptly started your journey back home after that. Once you got back you put the clothes V got from the thrift store into the washer and started preparing for dinner. When V returned from his room, he was wearing a T-shirt and a comfy pair of sweatpants. Looking grateful that he no longer had to wear the heavy leather jacket around the house as a top. You admittedly found it weird to see him in such normal clothes but cute at the same time. He cleared his throat, you didn't realize you were staring until he did. You muttered sorry and continued what you were doing. He let Griffon and Shadow free. Griffon found a comfy spot on the counter where he was perfectly set to pester you while Shadow curled up on the couch. "Jesus, you think of V all day but what about me? I'm gonna get stiff if I ever sit that long again." The bird hissed out and you rolled your eyes at how overly dramatic he was being. "Would you prefer I feed you to the demons?" You questioned. "Whatever, I'm sure V would appreciate that. Give you two some alone time if you know what I mean." He shot back. You glanced at the man on the couch who had a hand rested idly on Shadows head. He didn't seem to acknowledge the birds comment. "Oh curious are we?" Griffon asked and you gave him a soft tch. "Curious about the way our chicken should be served tonight." To which it was Griffons turn to reply with tch. The night went on without interruption after that, Shadow sitting at your feet trying to get a scrap of food when dinner was served even though she was well strong enough to just take your food. After dinner you cared for the plants and cleansed the space while V continued to read on the couch. His mind really didn't leave his books. You were fine staying friends with the dark gentleman who was always in your presence but you wouldn't deny you wanted more too. Maybe he just needed more time though. The world was so new to him. V called it a night early and left you in the company of Shadow. After you finished with your work you sat down on the couch and petted her head softly. You always loved when it was quiet like this. The moon would be full soon, so watching it rise above the skyline was a treat. It bathed the world in such an ethereal glow. You recalled your times as a kid when you'd sneak into the forest during the full moon. Your parents were heavily against your Wiccan identity and sought to derail it in any way possible. Even if that meant putting a lock on every window and door in the house. You had always felt more connected to the earth and moon than others growing up. Your dreams were mysterious, often speaking to you of the future. Later in life you learned they were not just dreams, but actual demons who you communed with nightly. At the age of 15 you ran away from your home. Something whispered to you in the night, telling you that you'd find yourself in Red Grave. That's how you met Dante, and your demon hunting slash Wiccan healing days began. It hurt to run away, you knew in your heart your parents just wanted the best for you but if you had never ran away you probably wouldn't have been as happy as you are now. You had found your own family, one that accepted you. Nero and Nico playing their music so loud, they had to yell when they bickered. Dante being a lovable train wreck. Shopping with Lady and Trish. Chatting with Vergil about music and nature. Most of all the company of your roommate V. "Are you alright?" His voice was soft but it startled you. So buried in your own thoughts for the second time today, you didn't hear V come out of his room. You didn't realize you were crying either. In a attempt to hide that fact, you quickly rubbed your cheeks. "O-oh yeah! I'm great!" You lied, but your voice betrayed you. V left you for a moment, only to return with a blanket from his room which he draped over your shoulders. He made his way into the kitchen and came back with a cup of hot cocoa. He sat down next to you and fidgeted with his fingers. Trying his best to think of something to say. You spoke up first though. "Thanks… I was just… Well, you know how I am. I sorta get lost in my own head sometimes." You muttered. "I'm fine though, I promise." You quickly added. The moonlight seeping in through the window made him more beautiful. You didn't know that was even possible. The white glow bounced off his pale skin, and his green eyes seemed even deeper before the moon. "If we are going to reminisce about the past, then… I'd like to thank you." He said, you tilted your head softly. "I didn't know it was possible to feel such comfort in the presence of another. Nor did I think I'd be lucky enough to experience life the way I have with you." He continued. "I'm eternally grateful for all that you've done. If you should ever need anything, please let me know." V glanced towards you, and even with the soft lighting that you two were in you could tell he was serious. If you weren't tired from the crying you wouldn't have done this, but the fog from your emotions blurred out your reasoning. You leaned over and rested your head on his shoulder muttering thanks softly before your eyes closed. V tensed for a second. He wasn't yet used to physical contact, but he always enjoyed your hugs. He wrapped an arm around you in return and rested his hand gently on your head. Softly he began humming a melody, which lulled you to sleep. V only stopped after he felt your breathing even out and he was assured you had fallen asleep. Griffon internally teased V about it mercilessly after that, but maybe… just maybe V was starting to feel something for you. Or maybe he always had. He wasn't sure, but nonetheless, he admitted he cared for you deeply on that night.

[blogsteveclark12]

Thrift Store Flipping – 8 Best Items to Resell for a Profit

Whether searching the offerings at an estate sale or combing through the aisles of a thrift store, society is obsessed with the idea of “the find.” Every junk yard and flea market offers a real treasure hunt for anyone willing to do the work.

With the right approach, thrift store flipping – the practice of purchasing items from a thrift shop with the intent to resell them – can go from a hobby to an income stream. No, not every trip is going to yield a long-lost Picasso, but learning more about thrift store flipping just might give you the incentive to look a little closer the next time you’re checking out the local store.

Thrift Store Flipping Tips

Once you know what to look for at the thrift store, you can better seek out the buys with the most upside. Then, simply do a little maintenance and repair if necessary, clean them up, and resell them. It’s impossible to guarantee a profit, but knowing what to go for can help increase your chances of making a buck or two from your hard work.

Here are several quick tips on how to ensure you turn a profit from your thrift store finds:

Always Check Online First. Your smartphone is your best tool when thrifting for a profit. Make sure you have a reliable connection when you’re out shopping, because the best way to ensure a profit is to perform a quick search on eBay before you buy an item. It acts as a pretty reliable barometer for an eventual selling price, and can give you a baseline to work from. If you’re not sure whether a certain item is collectible, see how many are on eBay, the average current bid, and any available past sales information. Just remember that condition can make a big difference, so base your research on items in similar condition (gently used versus new with tags, for example).

Check for Markings. Not sure if that pottery is worth anything? Check for stamping somewhere on the piece, look up the stamp online, and see how that corresponds to resale value. Kovels is just one of many sites with a great directory of pottery stamps organized by shape and letter. If you have a piece of jewelry, you can usually find a stamp on the clasp or on the back of a pendant. Check jewelry marks against the ones on display at thrift store in Panama City Beach, FL.

Shop High-End Locations. Higher-end areas tend to amass higher-end thrift store hauls, so you might find better-quality and name-brand goods in those neighborhoods.

Use Discount Days. Thrift stores constantly need to rotate their inventory because of donations. Therefore, many shops have a day or two each month where items are deeply discounted to make room for the next batch. For example, my local thrift store has 50%-off days throughout the month. The less you pay, the higher your profit after flipping.

Clean It Up. Always make sure an item can be cleaned before it’s sold. Delicate clothing with dry cleaning tags might not be a wise choice – unless it’s a high-end designer item, you’re unlikely to recoup its original cost, plus laundering. Check for stains and smells first, and turn away from any garments that need more than laundering or the application of a lint roller. When it comes to housewares, look for things that show little signs of wear, remembering that certain materials, such as glass, ceramic, and silver, might require a little polishing before selling. Again, always compare your finds to similar items online, since certain materials sell better without polishing.

Consider Packaging Costs. Unless you get lucky or can do a fix and flip, margins for thrift store flipping can be pretty slim. Therefore, you should bear in mind anything that could cut into those margins. Always consider how the cost of packaging can affect your bottom line. For example, which boxes you use can be more important than you might think. If you use a package larger than you need and have to fill it with packing material, you’ll pay more than you need to for shipping. The USPS offers free boxes, but the sizes can be limited. Office Depot, Papermart.com, and even Amazon can be great places to pick up boxes that better match the sizes of the items you’re shipping.

Be Mindful of Shipping. Shipping can be a make-it-or-break-it cost for a flipping business. The larger and heavier the item, the more it will cost to ship. Comparing your options will allow you to find the most cost-effective and convenient shipping method for your business.

Best Items to Turn a Profit

1. Books and Textbooks

Generally, individual books aren’t a huge moneymaker, but book lots traditionally sell very well at online auction sites. Take for example a set of “Harry Potter” books: Used box sets in good condition (both paperback and hardcover) sell for around $30 to $50 on eBay, and you can find them considerably cheaper if you happen to snag a set in the thrift store.

Other popular box sets include “Anne of Green Gables,” “The Lord of the Rings,” “The Hunger Games,” and “Little House on the Prairie.” Even if you find just one or two books from these box sets, they can bring in more than a typical paperback, since collectors could be looking to add to their current library.

Keep an eye out for college textbooks as well, since students might donate them without checking their resale value. Not all are worth a gold mine though, so make sure you check going rates on auction sites before investing your money in what might be an outdated reference.

2. Picture Frames

Thrift stores often have their fair share of art, and buying a piece for resale can be risky. Luckily though, if you look past the painting, you can see the real opportunity: the frame.

Picture frames are always in high demand, especially when they’re large or ornate. When perusing racks of paintings, look closely at the frames and choose the ones in great condition. Larger frames are ideal for local sale, while smaller ones can be shipped to a happy new owner, with or without the painting.

3. Video Games

Video games can be nostalgic for gamers, and some popular titles and genres are in high demand. Generally, the oldest and the newest games sell best, so avoid titles from outdated systems that haven’t yet gained iconic status, such as PlayStation 2 or Wii. Games for the Atari 2600 and the Nintendo Entertainment System, on the other hand, can be in high demand. For newer games, you might be able to make money on anything for a current system such as Xbox One, PlayStation 4, or Wii U.

4. Brand-Name Clothes or Clothing Lots

Thrift store clothing doesn’t always turn a profit – many people figure they can purchase used garments from the thrift store themselves. However, you can drive up the price of that clothing if you search for brand names or if you’re willing to put together a clothing lot.

Brand-name garments sell well because people search for certain labels on online shopping sites such as eBay. It’s a great way for buyers to get the status of a label they love without having to pay department store or boutique prices. Look for high-end designers like Coach, DVF, Calvin Klein, Michael Kors, and Gucci, as well as “mall brands” like Nine West, Express, Abercrombie & Fitch, and Aeropostale.

You can also opt for a clothing lot, which can potentially bring in more cash through online auctions. For instance, assembling 10 maternity garments in the same size is likely to bring more interest than one shirt on its own. What’s more, you can often save on shipping costs when listing items as a lot, rather than selling them one at a time. The best way to create a lot is to combine clothing of the same size and same type (such as maternity, summer clothes, or winter wear) and mix a few name brands in with lower-end items.

5. Pyrex and Glassware

Glassware is long-lasting, so you can probably find a ton of it at your local thrift store. However, the difference between just another set of glasses and those that can generate real buyer interest is in their status as collectibles. Glassware lovers enjoy vintage Pyrex cookware, as well as glass in different shapes and colors, so keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary.

If you can’t find cool blue glass or decorated cookware, look for full glass sets. A set of tumblers is usually more of a local seller than mismatched glasses listed one-by-one online.

6. Sporting Equipment

Brand-new sporting goods are expensive, so as long as they’re in good shape and without wear, rips, tears, or deterioration, people are often eager to snag items secondhand at a thrift store to save money. These are also great items to sell as lots, since a mom with a hockey-playing kid might be looking for all of the gear at once. A word to the wise, though – look for signs of sweat or unpleasant smells before you buy, since sporting goods might not be the easiest to clean.

7. Records and Record Players

Many thrift shops have an area for old records and record players, and both are highly collectible. It’s not unusual to find a record player for less than $10, and many sell for $20 to $50 on eBay.

Vinyl albums are very collectible as well – just use your online sleuthing skills and look up albums before you purchase them expressly for resale. You might be surprised at how much money diehard fans are willing to pay for records.

8. Anything With a Tag

When making purchases to flip, a general rule of thumb is that if it has a tag, buy it. These items can be listed as “new with tags” on online shopping sites, and can fetch much more than the same item in the same condition but without tags. In fact, there’s an entire subset of online auction shoppers who only purchase items that still have their tags as a way to display their newness and lack of use. If it has tags – whether a jacket, a pair of shoes, accessories, or housewares – you’re likely to turn a profit.

Where to Sell

The obvious choice for reselling thrift store items is via an online auction site such as eBay. It gives you access to a massive customer base and simplifies the selling process with online tools and a great mobile app. If you have antique goods, you can also try selling them on Etsy, which is an online fixed-price marketplace for handmade, vintage, and antique items.

If the idea of shipping an item simply isn’t feasible, local sales work best. You could advertise a piece via Craigslist, or have a yard sale. If you resell often, you may want to look into local flea markets and farmers’ markets, where shoppers are looking for original antique pieces and fun knick-knacks.

Final Word

Some folks may have questions about the ethical nature of thrift store flipping – there are arguments online as to whether it’s okay to flip an item that a person donated in hopes that it would go to someone less fortunate. However, it’s important to remember that thrift stores are in the business of turning a profit too. So while they’re a hub for those who may not be able to afford more expensive or brand-new items, their main concern is making money and keeping the shop open. That’s why they price goods as they see fit, according to their knowledge of the industry and their bottom line. Still, it’s good manners to show restraint and choose quality over quantity if you’re planning on reselling your stuff.

From a casual hobby to an actual way to make side money, thrift store flipping has major potential. Educate yourself on what’s selling and be prepared to do some digging. Who knows? You might be the one who turns up the next great treasure.

[mikascnfportfolio]

The Heart and Soul: Cubao Expo and Ali X

     As a child of strict parents, my options on venturing far are very limited. Any place outside Quezon City is a no-no so I thought to myself, “What now?” Luckily, Cubao is a few blocks from my house and off I went, along with Gabriel Gillego and Michael Parocha last January 4.

     If you are a fan of Bita and the Botflies, the indie band, they featured Cubao in one of their music videos, “Tagu-taguan.” The whole song illustrates the vibe the place has to offer, it is a place for the laid-back, the eccentric, and peculiar. Cubao is also the Stellan’s third home, with students frequenting the area after school hours. Even former Stellans still roam around the area.

     Cubao is alive in the hearts of the Quezon City people 24/7. While the sun is up, the neighboring malls give them several choices on where to shop. Famously known for the malls like Gateway, Farmer’s Plaza, Alimall, and SM Cubao. And if you want to go grocery shopping, there’s Puregold, Shopwise, and Isetan! Did you know that Shopwise stands at the former Fiesta Carnival? And what is Cubao without the Araneta Coliseum and the New Frontier Theatre? The former is known for hosting the much-awaited UAAP games while the latter hosts concerts from both local and international artists.

     With Cubao being jam-packed at day, it’s somewhat different at night when the lanterns of Manhattan lights up! In my opinion, that’s when its real beauty comes out, through the music and get-togethers on the areas of bars, restaurants, and many more.Now how would one go to Cubao? Well, if you’re a student from Stella Maris College, just cross the road from the Cambridge street, and you’re golden! But if you’re from another school, take the LRT and get off the Araneta-Cubao station. You can also take the MRT as well as jeepneys to arrive at the place. Since I live near the vicinity, I just walk. It’s my daily exercise.

     While the rest of the city sleeps, Cubao Expo comes to life.

     Formerly known as the Marikina Shoe Expo, Cubao Expo is a go-to for lovers of street and art culture as well as thrift shoppers. Once a place for Marikina made footwear in 1997, though some shoe stops still stand to this day, it saw a revival in the 2000s. The horseshoe-like complex houses shops meant to appeal to a variety of subcultures. There are unique and quirky stores meant to cater to artists, musicians, skaters, surfers, foodies, and party-goers.

     Cubao Expo is just a little walk from SM Savemore. At the first end, one is greeted with WCHA Fashion Haus, an ukay-ukay shop. Shops like these are abundant around Cubao, perfect for people who want to look fashionable without breaking the bank and the environment!

     I went inside to hopefully try on and find new clothes. And upon entering, I paused. Is it me or is it all ukay shops have that distinctive smell?  My nose caught a whiff of the smell of old clothes as if they carried the memories of the people that once worn them or the memories of the department store they came from. While it is true that clothes found here are hand-me-downs, some are new and discarded items. Now thrift shopping is one of my guilty pleasures, I once recalled I spent around 500 pesos at one sitting for clothes. Terrible, I know. The store was kept tidy, it was even air-conditioned! Price tags such as “100 pesos,” “75 pesos,” and “20 pesos” can be found on top of each rack indicating how much that piece of clothing is. There is also an area for “New Arrival” items, but those are too expensive so I avoided them like the plague.

     Ukay stores usually get a bad reputation because of how dirty the clothes are, and how these kinds of shops are for the financially-challenged. But I digress, since textile waste from fast fashion is usually a problem, and clothes usually take time to degrade. So why not give thrift shops a chance? Besides, it’s less likely someone has the same piece of clothing and it also encourages you to be creative with your outfits.

     After paying for the clothes, we walked down the curved street of the Expo.

     Remember Art in Island? How about Bellini’s Italian Restaurant? The Cubao Expo is their home. And as for their neighboring tenants, there were an assortment of shops that can be found. There were shops for shoes, ukeleles and other instruments, organic and eco-friendly products, skateboards, surfboards, streetwear, vinyl records and tapes, books, arts and craft supplies, and one can even get their haircut at a barbershop there!

     At the curved point, one can find the cafes and bars Cubao Expo is famously known for, examples are Tacio’s and Humidor. It was a perfect place for a drinking session with one's barkada, with the chill and cozy ambiance coupled with OPM playing in the background and with lights and lanterns above your head. But of course, we didn’t drink.

     We also went inside to look at the different antiques and a plethora of things can be found. There were old figurines, vintage telephones, old watches, toys, paintings, even newspaper clippings, and advertisements. At one point, I asked the owner if I can film inside her shop. The lady, with a smile, told me, “No.” I was honestly sad because imagine the IG- worthy shots one can take. But that’s the policy, and we have to abide since we did not want to be kicked out by the security guards roaming the area. After leaving the store, there was also a “No Smoking” sign plastered on the wall.

     Our last stop before going to Alimall was the shops offering old cassette tapes and vinyl records. Through the dim lights, I browsed the colorful but worn-out covers of the records. Music artists from across each decade, both local and international, can be found. Most notable were the vinyl records of Elvis Presley, the Beatles, and the Beach Boys. There was even a “The Sound of Music” vinyl!

     Aside from Cubao Expo, Ali X is another go-to place for thrift and antique shoppers.

    Opened last March 2019, the lantern filled lane of Alimall was inaugurated as ALI X and is said to be inspired by the grand bazaars of Europe. It aims to be a haven for casual goers and hobbyists alike. It houses novelty items, antiques, art, music, and memorabilia. “ALI” stands for Art, Lifestyle, and Interest.

    Unlike in Cubao Expo, one can freely film inside the stores. Just make sure you don’t break anything as that is the number one rule here. Once you do, be ready to pay for what you have broken.

     We first went inside GMB Collectibles and Hangout, and as expected, we were greeted with several unique and novelty items. Car plates, dusty bottles, old photographs, newspapers, and even old documents were on display. But what caught my eye was the sign “Paki-ayos lang pagkatapos guluhin!” That sign surely made me return the items that I browsed in perfect order. Also, while inspecting the different old documents, I made sure to delicately handle them since some were on their way to disintegrating. The next store we payed a visit was Jem’s Antiques and they had some old coins and old banknotes. And if you’re familiar with the “Mickey Mouse” money during the Japanese era, they also have those too! They also sell postage stamps at 5 pesos each and vintage postcards ranging from 100-200 pesos per card.

     A place for the different eras of music, the next stop was at Treskul Records. From the name itself, they sell vinyls, cassette tapes, CDs, and music players. While we were there, a customer handed the shop owner a record and he played it using the turntable. Funky music blasted within the store. The vinyl records were arranged into the genres and decades they belonged too. While we were there, I even saw a vinyl record of an album of The 1975, one of my favorite bands. But as much as I wanted it, I sadly could not afford it since it was too expensive. Another music store, but for instruments, was Happy Music. They offer ukuleles, guitars, kazoos, and kalimbas. Ali- X also has a dinner modeled after the 50’s era. Erin’s Artists’ Lounge and Café serves a variety of dishes from sandwiches, chicken, pork, pasta, and nachos. They also have a mini bulletin board where they feature submitted artworks!

    After going to Ali-X, my peers and I were starving. Since they accompanied me, I treated them to a meal at KFC. We were planning to go to COD, an amusement like park that opens during the “-ber” months of the year in Cubao. They have rides such as Vikings and the Ferris Wheel. The place also has a food bazaar perfect for foodies. But alas, my mother called me and told me to go home.

    Truly, places like these are special  for they keep the history and vibe of the city alive. Maybe next time, I can find more hidden and amazing places. Till then, Cubao Expo and Ali-X will remain the as the “Heart and Soul” of Cubao.

[jana-hallford]

Baby Boomer Halloween Memories

"Hallowe'en" means “All Hallows Evening,” and refers to October 31st, the night before All Saints Day is observed. All Hallows Eve occurs at or near the time of older pagan celebrations that mark the end of the harvest season and the start of the “dark half” of the year. This is a “liminal” time, when the boundaries between the earthly realm and the supernatural are thinned. Elements of the old ways carried over into Christian customs. Lighting candles, praying for the dead, dressing up, and eating certain traditional foods became part of Hallowe’en for many.

Hallowe’en postcards from 1900 through the 1920s depicting children dressing up in masks and costumes and making or lighting Jack O’ Lanterns are common, but none show children trick-treating, because that custom did not emerge until well into the 1930s. (The classic 1944 film “Meet Me in St. Louis” depicts children out making mischief on Halloween in 1903, before the days of trick-or-treating.) Trick-or-treating was created to encourage children to accept “treats” instead of wreaking havoc on their communities.

By the time I was growing up, Hallowe’en had lost the apostrophe, trick-or-treating was well-established, and Halloween was very much a children's holiday. Dressing up in a costume to go get candy and other treats was a lot of fun. Here are some of my favorite Halloween memories.

Vintage black cat plastic blow mold Halloween treat bucket, circa 1950s - 1970s.

The Halloween Carnival

The Halloween Carnival at Monterey Heights Elementary school was a splendid evening event, with booths, games, food, and a darned good stage band providing music. There was enough going on to make many of us divide our time between trick-or-treating and attending the carnival. 

To this day I associate Halloween with that carnival, and the memory of walking around under the night sky in my costume, eating chili from a paper cup in the early autumn chill, and listening to the band. I loved the booth where we “fished” for prizes, using a stick with a string and a clothespin for a fishing pole, line, and hook. By the 4th grade I discovered the White Elephant booth, kindling my early interest in second hand and vintage items. 

An especially fond Halloween Carnival memory is the cake walk, held in one of the classrooms. When I was in the second or third grade, I won the cake walk, and happily chose a spice cake frosted with white buttercream icing and festooned with Autumn Mellowcreme decorations. I remember being quite charmed with the candy cats, pumpkins, sheafs of wheat, ears of corn, and other Halloween and harvest symbols. Being able to take that cake home to my family felt magical.

Autumn Mellowcreme candies. These ones are similar to the candy decorations on the cake I won as a child at the Halloween Carnival.

Vintage Halloween blow mold Jack O’ Lanterns.

Vintage plastic “popcorn” Halloween decoration. This type of decoration, made from bits of colored plastic fused together, is still sold.

Costumes

“What are you going to be for Halloween?” was a frequent and enjoyable conversation-starter among my classmates and I as the holiday neared. Choosing what you wanted to be was exciting.

Some of my Halloween costumes were made by my mother, and some were purchased. Halloween costumes sold in dime stores came in a box with a cellophane window, or on a hanger, and included a plastic mask and a simple rayon smock or jumpsuit with a design printed onto the fabric. 

You could also purchase a mask without a costume. (In the 1961 film “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” the two main characters steal very typical Halloween masks from a dime store.) 

My earliest Halloween memory is of my father carrying me to homes of close neighbors so I could trick-or-treat. I wore pajamas with feet in them and a clown mask. A mask and “footy” pajamas were the standard ensemble for the preschool set.

When I was old enough to choose, I always wanted pretty costumes, often some variety of princess or fairy. (Purchased costumes like that rained glitter, which sales people referred to as “fairy dust.”)  An angel costume my mother had a local dressmaker sew for me for my kindergarten Christmas play was re-used as the basis for my 1st grade Halloween costume. I went as the Tooth Fairy, bedecked in pearls. (This worked fine for trick-or-treating, but not so well at a costume party, where other children chased me, demanding money.) In the second grade I had a homemade Mary Poppins costume, featuring a black straw hat an older Englishwoman helped my mother and I find at our church thrift store. (”It must have a brim!” she exclaimed, rushing to the back of the store to find exactly the right chapeau.) I won a prize for that costume at the church fair. 

In the fourth grade I used a fringed suede cloth vest and skirt with a yellow print top and a pair of moccasins I had for a Native American costume, then added a black wig and headband. (I am a card-carrying Kahnawake Mohawk, through my mother’s side of the family.)

My mother made a gypsy costume for my big sister at one point. It was a pretty skirt and fringed shawl, worn with a peasant blouse and a lot of costume jewelry. I wore it for Halloween when I was in the 6th grade. At age 11 I was already tall, looked older, and felt self-conscious about trick-or-treating for candy. I decided to go out one last time for a good cause, and collected donations for UNICEF instead. That was my final year of trick-or-treating.

Ever since then, I’ve enjoyed being the one to hand out Halloween candy. When I was 15, a date took me to see horror movies at the high school, and I felt I was really missing out on seeing the trick-or-treaters. As an adult, I’ve made an effort to have fun things to give out to the children who come to my door, even as the numbers have dwindled over the years.

Vintage clown costume. This one is from the 1970s, but I remember similar ones in the 1960s. The clown looks like Bozo, from the popular television show.

Vintage plastic Halloween masks. Masks like this could be bought separately or as part of a full costume.

Halloween costumes sold in dime stores were often packaged in boxes like this one, with a plastic mask and a rayon smock or jumpsuit printed with a simple design. This one is Wendy the Good Little Witch, the Harvey comic book character and friend of Casper the Friendly Ghost.

Vintage Yogi Bear costume, 1960s. Yogi Bear was one of my favorite cartoon characters.

When I was growing up, "dime stores," including Woolworth's, were the place to go for Halloween costumes, decorations, and candy. Such fun memories.

Treats, and Evolving Traditions

In an earlier post, I wrote about knowing which houses in the neighborhood had the best treats, and how I’ve tried as an adult to provide treats children will like and remember. (It was usually the older neighbors who gave the best stuff.)

Halloween felt very safe back then. I trick-or-treated in my neighborhood, where I knew people. (Some of my friends had much more ambitious Halloween routes.) My mother also always checked the treats we brought home. I was not allowed to eat anything I collected until then. I could not keep or eat unwrapped candy, which a few people still gave out back in the day. Anything that looked like it could possibly have been tampered with was also thrown in the trash. There were sometimes stories from other places of apples containing razorblades, but the only apples I brought home were from neighbors we knew, and they were always fine. I’m glad I grew up when I did, with crowds of children on the streets on Halloween night, that wonderful carnival, and no serious fears or worries. 

Once I was an adult, the world began to change this happy holiday. In September and October of 1982, just before Halloween, someone in Chicago laced bottles of Tylenol with cynanide, and seven adults died. Throughout the country parents were afraid the same thing might happen with Halloween candy. My parents and I gave out pencils and stickers instead that year. 

After that, Halloween was never quite the same. Decorations, adult costumes and parties became a bigger deal, but trick-or-treating as my generation knew it faded considerably. Shopping malls and churches started offering alternative celebrations, including “trunk-or-treat” in supervised parking lots. However, children still look forward to wearing costumes, and still seem to enjoy Halloween. And now, colorful Day of the Dead decorations and sugar skulls mingle with Halloween motifs. 

In Mexico, indigenous customs honoring the dead carried over into the observance of All Soul’s Day, the feast remembering all of the departed, on November 2nd. Held October 31st to November 2nd, Day of the Dead celebrations are a happy time of remembering and honoring family and friends no longer on this earth. People from Mexico brought this custom to the United States and beyond. 

Traditions evolve and change, as they have down the generations. With a little work, perhaps we can keep the best of the old as we embrace the new.

As a little postscript, and a nod to the old-fashioned Baby Boomer-era Halloween I remember, I’m including a recipe for popcorn balls my mother used. I’ll bet some of your remember this one!

Happy Halloween!

Vintage Halloween recipes. My mother used the one shown here for Popcorn Balls.

[newtshirtcom]

My Nickname Is Nana But My Full Name Is Nana Nana Nana Shirt

My Nickname Is Nana But My Full Name Is Nana Nana Nana Shirt

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[increflections-blog]

Ask the late tycoon John Gokonwei how he built his empire and this is what we’ll hear –

“John Gokongwei Jr was born wealthy, but he had to start from scratch after his family lost what they had. Here’s a look back on his journey to becoming one of the most beloved tycoons in the Philippines. Born of a wealthy Filipino-Chinese clan, one would think that John Gokongwei Jr had it easy growing up and effortlessly built one of the biggest conglomerates in the Philippines.

John was indeed born with a silver spoon, but it took great lengths to have it all back. Before dying at 93, he left the family with a multibillion-peso empire spanning food and real estate to banking and aviation.

The clan had all the wealth they could ask for, until the impact of the Great Depression in the 1920s hit the empire hard. Even before World War II reached Cebu, the family’s debt had already ballooned. Around this time Gokongwei Sr, unexpectedly died after receiving the wrong blood type during a blood transfusion. The impoverished John was split from his 5 other siblings and mother when they moved back to China. His father, known as the Cinema King of Cebu then, apparently left the family deep in debt. John’s family had all their properties taken away from them by banks.

From living in a stylish home, 15-year-old John became a market vendor. He sold peanuts and just whatever he could make money out of. Even with little cash, he allotted some to send to his family in China. He was eventually able to buy a bicycle which enabled him to sell goods in nearby towns. Hard work led to his capital growing. The end of the war and the subsequent rebuilding presented opportunities to Gokongwei and his once-rich relatives. John later went on to produce cornstarch, a basic raw material for beer, noodles, and paper. San Miguel Corporation, one of the oldest and largest corporations in the Philippines, was one of Gokongwei’s biggest customers. Over 3 decades, John and his siblings built Universal Robina Corporation (URC), named after his eldest daughter Robina.

URC would become the flagship company of the Gokongwei group. The company produces some of the most popular snacks today, like Chippy, Chiz Curls, Magic Flakes, and Taquitos.

To date, its total assets amount to a whopping P151.9 billion.”

[https://www.rappler.com/business/244577-how-john-gokongwei-jr-built-empire-selling-peanuts]

And how about the richest man in the Philippines Mr. Henry Sy?

“Henry Sy was born in the south-eastern Chinese city of Xiamen, in Fujian province. He immigrated to the Philippines at the age of 12 and started selling rice, sardines and soap at his father’s neighbourhood store in Manila in 1936.

The store was burned and looted during World War II so Sy was called on to sell goods to help the family survive, according to Sy-Coson, the eldest of his six children.

Following World War II, he sold shoes imported by US soldiers and set up a footwear store, providing him with the platform to later found ShoeMart, the nation’s largest chain and the first air-conditioned shop to sell shoes in the Philippines, in 1958.

After opening six shoe stores, he diversified the business into clothing and soft goods because shoe manufacturers couldn’t meet his demands for higher volumes.

In 1972, Sy opened his first department store, two months after President Ferdinand Marcos placed the country under martial law. Marcos was ousted by a military and civilian uprising in 1986.

Sy first expanded into real-estate development in 1974 with the founding of Multi-Realty Development Corp, formed to develop high-rise condominiums and townhouse units in prime parts of Makati, a city in metropolitan Manila.

In 1976, he bought Acme Savings Bank, which had originally been set up as a thrift bank, and renamed it Banco de Oro Savings & Mortgage Bank. Initially, it provided services mainly to suppliers of ShoeMart. It was renamed Banco de Oro Universal Bank in 1996 when the Philippine central bank gave it the authority to operate as a commercial lender.

Sy had a net worth of US$7.2 billion (S$9.78 billion), according to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, making him the richest person in the Philippines.

[https://www.straitstimes.com/asia/se-asia/philippines-richest-man-henry-sy-dies-at-94]

Now let’s see how their children were raised. On Gokonwei this is what we hear –

“Lance Gokongwei, president and chief operating officer of JG Summit Holdings Corp., the holding company of the vast Gokongwei group, was groomed from childhood to take over the family business, which is among the biggest in the country.

Dad started from the bottom and he made sure we all did, too. My eldest sister, Robina, started as a receiving clerk at the bodega of Robinsons Department Store. Dad told her, “How will you be able to do your job at the top later on if you don’t know what people down there are doing? Today, Robina runs our whole retail business.

Marcia, on the other hand, scooped ice cream and made waffle cones at a Tivoli kiosk when she was in high school. Today, she is one of the top executives in our food manufacturing business.

In my case, my first job was putting price tags on women’s bras. I guess that makes me an expert on women.

Stay humble. Dad always made sure that we did not think we were better than other people. He told us to hire people who are smarter than us, who are better than us, so that we can improve the business. There is a Chinese phrase that our parents use with us—“gong kia,” which is a term of endearment, but which literally means “stupid child.” It keeps us humble and makes us feel that we are the same as the people who work with us. It’s okay to make mistakes. Even if Dad gave me a lot of opportunities at an early age, he never hovered over my shoulder. He allowed me to make mistakes as long as I didn’t lose too much money. He knew I would learn a lot from them—and I did.”

[https://business.inquirer.net/223293/lance-y-gokongwei-talks-father-john-taught]

“MANILA — The late tycoon John Gokongwei’s eldest daughter recalled how her kidnappers complained that he was willing to give her away because he has 6 other children, one of many stories in a eulogy for her “mentor-father.”

Gokongwei, of course, was following the advice of then-police colonel Panfilo Lacson who led her rescue without a ransom payoff. Robina Gokongwei-Pe was a senior at the University of the Philippines in 1981 when she was kidnapped with her cousin, Celina Chua.

“Anim pala kayong magkakapatid! Akala ko nag-iisa ka. Sabi ng tatay mo, pwede ka na ipamigay kasi mayroon pa siyang limang anak. Ano ba ‘yan!” Gokongwei-Pe said.

(There’s 6 of you. I thought you are an only child. Your father said he can give you away because he has 5 other children. What’s up with that?)

The eulogy was published in full by Esquire Philippines’ website, part of the Gokongweis’ publishing arm, Summit Media.

Gokongwei, whose JG Summit Holdings controls Robinsons Retail, Universal Robina and Cebu Pacific, “was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’ll hear,” Gokongwei-Pe said.

Bedridden for 6 weeks and unable to speak due to a feeding tube, Gokongwei insisted on reading financial reports, Gokongwei-Pe said. He also told his 24-year-old grandson: “You have to play around!”

Gokongwei-Pe said her father made sure she started in the storage rooms of Robinsons Department Store, without air-condition and with no set time in and time out to teach her the value of hard work.

The same was true for her brother, Lance Gokongwei, she said.

“The thing is, when Lance was on summer vacation, he also put Lance in the Robinsons Department Store bodega, where he learned how to tag bras and where he learned how to read the alphabet in bra sizes, which came in handy later in life,” she said.

Frustrated that she was a bench-sitter or “bangko” of the UP swimming team, Gokongwei-Pe said her father told her to “never give up.”

“He said that I should be happy that I even qualified for the team. He also said that he lost his father when he was 13—what could be worse than that?” she said.

Gokongwei-Pe said her dad was so happy to give her away that during her wedding, the then 67-year-old patriarch walked too fast as she walked her down the aisle, angering her mother.

“Please wait for the bride!” Gokongwei-Pe recalled her mother as saying.

Her wedding was also one of the rare times Gokongwei got a tuxedo, a rented one, only because he heard that a wedding sponsor, Lopez family patriarch Eugenio “Geny” Lopez Jr., was going to wear one.

“My dad was always known to be a sloppy dresser and cheap when it comes to dressing up. His tie always had a stain from ice cream or coffee,” she said.

When he retired at 90, Gokongwei-Pe recalled fellow shopping mall tycoon Henry Sy telling her father: “John, you are going to face three problems when you retire. One is what you are going to do after working for 50 years. Two is who is going to succeed you. Three is the worst problem of all—how to deal with five sons-in-law.”

Gokongwei-Pe said her father congratulated her most recently for her work with the UP Fighting Maroons men’s basketball team, which made the final 4 for the second straight year.

“He knew what his daughter really loved the most. That’s why I loved him for that,” she said.

Ending her eulogy, Gokongwei-Pe said: “By the way, we did not rent his outfit for today. Somewhere along the way, he decided to buy himself an expensive suit, and we made sure that the tie did not have a stain.”

[https://news.abs-cbn.com/business/11/12/19/gokongwei-daughter-in-playful-eulogy-says-dad-taunted-her-kidnappers]

One thing you’ll notice, is that riches didn’t come overnight. It had to be worked out. It had to be planned. Perseverance and the right attitude. The children were never spoiled or pampered.

Why is EVM included? Well, he is now considered to be number one in the list of “Richest Pastor In Philippines:Top 10 Influencial Pastors/Priest Of 2019.”

“Philippines as one with the highest population in the world ranked at number #13 in the world. Philippines includes with the fastest growing population in asia with more than 107.5 million population in 2019 according to worldometers.info. And Philippines consist of different religions most Filipinos are Catholic with highest percentage 2nd are muslim and the rest are protestant and other denominations.

Here are the religious groups and denominations names of well known personality and most influencial religious leaders in the country with their respective churches and organizations. There names were included in the top 10 most wealthiest and richest churches or persons in the Philippines. [Let’s just jump into number one, you can read the whole article on the link provided 🙂 ]

1 – Eduardo “Eddieboy” Manalo

On top of the list as the richest pastor in philippines is Eduardo Manalo the third successor of I.N.C the most influencial religious personality in Philippines. That every electoral candidates want to get his endorsement. Because of the bloc voting doctrine of their church. Since from Felix Manalo the one founded the I.N.C in philippines then turn it over into his son Eranio Manalo the father of Eduardo Manalo. Eduardo Manalo Asset and net worth is around 1billion peso he owns New Era college and Philippine Arena in Bocaue Bulacan. [https://www.rank1one.com/top-10-richest-pastors-philippines-2019/]

The executive minister of the highly-politicized Iglesia Ni Cristo is arguably the wealthiest Filipino religious leader. Iglesia Ni Cristo is more than two times wealthier that the Roman Catholic Church because the former is centralized and the latter is not. Iglesia Ni Cristo is estimated to be worth nearly a trillion pesos including all of its properties, and Manalo as the CEO is surely worth billions of pesos.

[https://www.opinionstage.com/silveraden/ten-wealthiest-religious-leaders-in-the-philippines]

An argument may  be raised (as was in the comments section of the above articles] that all properties are registered under the name of the Church and not under any individual or person. BUT and that’s a big BUT, the organization is registered as “corporation sole” and the Executive Minister as Administrator of all assets of the orgnization.  In short, he “owns” the organization as “Chief Executive Officer“.  We are discussing here hard undeniable facts, not spiritual such as Christ is the owner and so forth. We are pointing fingers as to who can mortgage, sell, and distribute any and all of the assets of the organization and this includes control of cold cash of the church. None other than EVM being the Executive Minister (and of course JS because he has a Power of Attorney to that effect).

Now there are many anecdotes of the late Felix Manalo and his successor Erano Manalo, but unfortunately I can’t think of even one that describes the  current Executive Minister aside from the praises to high heavens by his so called sasardotes or whatever.

So instead, let us witness a discussion between a Minister and a lay member of the church on attainment of material wealth based on the “inspirational” teaching of the Executive Minister –

Miyembro: Ka Delfin (ministro), papaano natin matatamo ang pagpapala (riches) dito sa mundo?

Ministro: Kapatid, dapat maging masagana ka sa paghahandog (offerings). Tulad rin ng  pagtatanim, kung marami kang itinanim, marami kayong aanihin. Nakalagay rin sa biblia na sinabi ng Diyos, subukan ninyo ako kung hindi ko kayo pagpalain na walang silid na paglalagyan sa mga pagpapalang ibibigay ko sa inyo.

Miyembro: Linggo-linggo, naghahandog ako, kasama na rito ang mga tanging-tanging handugan, bakit hanggang ngayon mahirap pa rin kalagayan ko?

Ministro: Huwag kang maiinip kapatid, walang matuwid na anak ng Diyos na nagpapalimos ng tinapay ayon sa biblia. Baka nag-aalinlangan ka pa sa magagawa ng Diyos?

Miyembro: Papaano ako mag-aalinlangan, 20 taon na ako sa Iglesia, 20 taon akong naghahandog, bakit hanggang ngayon, kubo-kubo pa rin bahay ko, wala pa rin akong matatag na hanap buhay?

Ministro: Kapatid, ang pagpapala ay hindi lamang sa material na bagay. Pasalamat ka at hanggang ngayon buhay ka pa at nasa kahalalan na matatamo mo ang kaligtasan pagdating ni Cristo.

Miyembro: Alam ko po yon. Ang tanong ko lang, bakit ang tagasanglibutan tila madaling umangat ang buhay pero ako parang hindi?

Ministro: Alam mo Kapatid, ang Diyos tunay kang mahal. Alam ng Diyos ang nakaraan, alam rin niya ang kasalukuyan, at higit sa lahat alam niya ang darating. Alam niya na baka kung payamanin ka makalimot ka sa kaniya!

Wow! And to think this line of thinking works among its members. But I’m having my doubts. Many are not that naive on giving so called offerings to “God”. The real give-away  proof is – napaka bilis na ang pagbibilang ng mga Pananalapi sa lokal. 30 minuto lang tapos na! Mabilis na sila nakakauwi ngayo hindi tulad noon 😀 😀 😀

Hindi lang yon, every building from the Arena, to the Garden, and the Museum were  built by the offerings of the members BUT UNLESS YOU PUT UP A HEFTY 500 PESOS (more or less), you’ll never gain entrance. Simply put, you are the owner of a house being refused entry by a mere Caretaker which you hired with your own money!

Ooops, forgot its almost midnight. Got carried away. Seniors have a way of doing that as if you didn’t know. Good night friends, and regards to the family. By the way Christmas is just around the corner. Let’s do the “pagan” and greet ourselves a very Merry, Merry Christmas and a Ho! Ho! Ho!

    “Difference between the wealths of John Gokongwei, Henry Sy and EVM …” Ask the late tycoon John Gokonwei how he built his empire and this is what we'll hear -

[giacintodenmark]

Long Study Tour: Hamburg & Berlin

SUNDAY

6:45 Meet tour leaders and the group at Copenhagen Central Station

Up at 4:40, I gathered my things and myself to make my way to the station. I forgot to lock my bike (thank god for host moms, my bike likely would have disappeared otherwise). It all went well otherwise, I boarded the bus with my class in a daze.

7:10 Depart by bus for Rødby (Bus 38) 

We then made a switch from bus to train. The train boarded the ferry.

9:35 Depart by ferry to Germany Depart on train (EC 38) to Hamburg 

The train boards the ferry, we walk amongst the ferry (which is really a mall on the inside, may as well sell things to people when you’ve got them captive for the 40 minute crossing to Germany). It’s a pleasant ride, we talk on one of the two outside docks... watching the other boats pass, the whitewater trail we leave, the wind, the sun.

Photo Link

A view from the train. A town view of the Lensahn municipality within Schleswig-Holstein, Germany. 

12.31 Arrive at Hamburg Hauptbahnhof Walk from station to hostel 

Hamburg’s central station. Bustling with people of all sorts, all in a bit of a hurry to be somewhere. It’s quite something to shuffle through shifting rivers of people with all the luggage we carried with us. It was an exciting introduction to Northern Germany.

Walking to the hotel, we were in a rather industrial area of Hamburg. I have been spoiled by Copenhagen in that the city infrastructure works wonderfully for pedestrians... for people. I can’t say the same for this part of Hamburg, with many cars and garbage. Its easy to see the benefits of the simple things Copenhagen implements in their city layout.

~13.00 Arrive/drop bags: Novum Belmondo Hamburg 

Time on own: 

St. Nicholas Church Ruins in Hamburg

The Bombings of Hamburg destroyed most of the city and killed many in WW2. The most destructive operations being Operation Gomorrah (named after the biblical destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah), killing 42K and wounding 37K. 

The Gothic-style spired tower stands out like a beacon, it is the second tallest structure in Hamburg. 

Photo Link

Spire side view of the ruins, the spire-tower, once hollow, the damage to the details noticeable... now contains an elevator and information on the church remnants.

“Founded in 1195, St. Nicholas is one of the oldest churches in Hamburg. It develops from a little chapel to a hall church. During the Great Fire in Hamburg in 1842 it burns down.” (although it was destroyed and rebuilt times before this point).

“The citizens of Hamburg, however, facilitate to rebuild the church in a neo-gothic style. The plans are designed by British architect G. Scott, the construction lasts from 1846 to 1882.”

“In July 1943 Allied airplanes attack the city of Hamburg. During the air raids more than 35,000 people die, 900,000 become homeless, 250,000 houses are destroyed, as was St. Nicholas.”

“After the war, St. Nicholas is not rebuilt. The remains commemorate the victims of the “Fire Storm” over Hamburg and the victims of the German atrocities in Europe.”

Photo Link

Lunch on own:

 Züm Spatzle

The front page is a letter to guests expressing how the importance of knowing where one's food comes from. The restaurant has close ties to the source of each ingredient used, everything is listed in the letter. The ingredients of every menu item are listed. The menu is small to keep everything home-made and high quality. 

“Our meals are very traditional, home-style cooking. I hope you enjoy this cuisine from my homeland! We always fo our best!”

Spätzle with green pesto and parmesan. Topped with arugula, cherry tomato, and balsamic vinegar. 

Maultachen in vegetable broth. (This was my favorite

Cheese Spätzle baked in the oven, with onions (caramelized + chives). 

16:00 – 18:00 Group Visit: HafenCity – Sustainability Tour 

Mr. Thorsten Gödtel is going to be our guide and the focus of the tour will be on sustainability concepts of HafenCity 

70% of the German population lives in cities, this proportion is expected to increase in the future. HafenCity is the largest inner-city development project in Europe. There is an emphasis on making the infrastructure compatible with renewable energy, minimizing resource use and detrimental environmental impact, maximizing green space per urban/industrial area.

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Depart to return to hostel to check in 19:00

 Meet in lobby to depart for group dinner 

19.30 Group Dinner: Loving Hut Vegan Restaurant 

An international all-vegan chain in which each location can offer its own menu items, but must remain completely vegan. We had a sesame/ginger soup and a whole bunch of spring rolls. It was quite good, I haven’t been to a bad Loving Hut... there are a great number of other vegan restaurants unique to Hamburg worth checking out as well.

Photo Link

Rest of evening on own. 

(went home, went to bed)

MONDAY

Morning Run #1

Went out early in the morning for a run, it was interesting to. see the city as the sun rose. The streets were bustling with morning traffic, the still active harbor was alight with ships coming in and out.

7.30 Breakfast at hostel.

8:40 Depart for a group visit 

9:00-10:00 Group Visit: Farmers Cut 

We visited a pilot vertical farm, working to bring locally grown greens to the people of Hamburg through dryponic cultivation. The process requires no pesticides and assures fresh, hyperlocal produce to markets and restaurants within the city. 

Isabel Mlitor, a co-founder and current CMO of Farmers Cut. She gave us the tour through the Hamburg facility. 

“[Indoor vertical farming] captivated me immediately as I was already following the development of next-generation farming in the USA – especially in New York – and knew what an incredibly fascinating topic it is: the link between technology, urbanization, and nutrition. All areas that carry great meaning for all of us.” 

Photo Link

A view of the plants growing within the vertical farm .

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A souvenir, some Lemon Balm fresh from the vertical farm. 

Depart for Walking Tour 10:45- 12:45 

Alternative Hamburg Tour Starting point: Sternschanze Bahn station 

A tour through the Schanze neighborhood... focusing on the role graffiti art and tagging plays in creating the unique environment and giving voice to locals.

Here are some photos from the tour.

Time on own: Adventure around Sternshanze

A mysterious knick-knack store

I couldn’t find the name of the place anywhere, I don’t know if it was a shop, a museum, I don’t know... I never asked the guy sitting amongst the mess, he was busy reading and smoking .a cigarette (which are then placed into jars and placed throughout the room.

A Google Maps image of the entrance... the interior is below the Elternhaus. 

This place was just an amalgamation of all sorts of unusual items... skulls wrapped in copper wire, meat grinders, people’s postcards, CPR dummies, dirt, et. cetera.

The place is a horribly messy art piece, everything seems to sort of have a place... sort of...

Hot Dog Thrift Store

A collection of curated vintage clothing, the owner seemed quite knowledgeable and passionate about the shop’s collection. The place is a fun visit, everything is quite expensive though... 

Hermetic Coffee

“Living and breathing the diversity of coffee, we are very pleased that our café is giving us the opportunity to share with you the full range of coffee flavours.

We serve hand brewed speciality coffee from our own roasts as well as from appreciated roasteries from all over the world.

For you to explore the world of coffee at your home, too, we offer freshly roasted coffee and a wide range of brewing equipment such as scales, drippers, hand mills and much more.

Should you have any questions, feel free to approach us at all times – we are happy to help you.

We are looking forward to your visit.“

The café interior. 

Photo Link

Espresso, the go-to for every café I visit.

18.36 Depart on train for Berlin 

20.19 Arrival at Berlin Hauptbahnhof Depart by public transport to hotel 

Approx. 21:00 Arrival/check in: B&B Hotel 

Rest of evening on own 

TUESDAY

Morning Run #2

Got up early once again to get a first look at Berlin as the sun rises. Our hotel is near Tiergarten, a large green strip similar to NY’s Central Park or SF’s Golden Gate Park. It was once the royal hunting grounds, it was turned into a protected public space in the 1700s. Much of the park was clear cut during a coal shortage during WW2. It has gradually been replanted thanks to local donations. 

The Victory Column, commemorating the victory in the Prussian-Danish war.

A sunrise along the road that runs through Tiergarten. Morning traffic had began, everyone was starting their Tueday in Berlin.

Soviet War Memorial, commorating soldiers killed in the Battle of Berlin.

The sunset reflected upon the glass buildings near the hotel we were staying at. 

8:30 Meet to depart for group visit by public transportation 

9.30- 13.00 Group Lunch + Academic Visit: Das Baumhaus 

Project & Space for Sustainability in Berlin Gerichtstraße 23, 13347 Berlin A workshop on sustainability and community engagement And a hands-on workshop – building stuff with tetrapaks.

“A place to meet neighbors and other people who want to make the world a better place in Berlin! The project space is a platform for meetings, events and workshops for a variety of people and organizations. Das Baumhaus is an open socio-cultural project in Wedding. They connect, inspire and empower each other, neighbors, organizations and local changemakers working for transition to sustainability. In the project space, people and projects from a broad variety of backgrounds come together, meet and collaborate.

Das Baumhaus is a self-organized, grassroots initiative grown out of the neighborhood, with Karen & Scott, the project co-founders at the core of the Baumhaus project. Since 2012, more than 300 people have collaboratively developed the project, organized events, meetings, initiated new groups, and in 2016 renovated a storefront space into a pretty unique project space. Organized as a non-profit association, a social business and above all, an open network.”

We discussed the foundational thinking of Das Baumhaus... recognizing the world as a conglomeration of multiple systems within a collective balance. Sustainable development should be looked at from 6 perspectives: Personal, Ecological, Aesthetic, Cultural, Economic, Social. We then pretty much did arts and crafts to make upcycled things for an hour and a half. 

Lunch is served by the Real Junk Food Project, they only use rescued food. (i.e. food that is still good to eat but would have been thrown out without someone using it ASAP)

Time on own 

16:00 Meet at Orinienburger Tor U-bahn station 

16:15 – 17:45 Cultural Visit: Private Viewing of Boros Collection Inside Bunker Reinhardtstraße 20 10117 Berlin 

“The Boros Collection is a private collection of contemporary art. It comprises groups of works by international artists dating from 1990 to the present. Different facets of the collection are on public display in a converted bunker, with 3000 sqm exhibition space. “

1942... Construction of the bunker as an air-raid shelter for the civilian population, built by forced laborers.

1945... Bunker occupied by the Red Army and used for prisoners of war.

1949...Use as a textile warehouse.

1957... Converted into a warehouse for imported tropical fruit from Cuba, managed by a state-owned company “Fruit Vegetables Potatoes”. Known locally as the “banana bunker”.

1990...After German Reunification, the building becomes the property of the federal government.

1992...Techno music and fetish parties mean that the bunker gains a reputation as the hardest club in the world.

1996... Art exhibition Files featuring Olafur Eliasson, Daniel Pflumm, Ugo Rondinone, and others.

2001... Nippon Development Corporation GmbH acquires the bunker.

2003... Christian Boros purchases the bunker to convert it to house his collection.

Photo 

He Xiangyu, Untitled (2017)... Bronze cast egg cartons, gold plated. 

Photo

Rest of evening on own including dinner

Mogg

“Mogg is housed in an old red brick former Jewish girls school on Berlin’s August Strasse, designed by Alexander beers in 1927. The modernist stark exterior of the school come hospital is belied almost by the colorful art deco tiling in the communal areas. The building's appearance, combined with its long history makes this a cultural must-see in itself.

mogg was added to this eclectic mix in 2012 and quickly established itself as an institute on the Berlin culinary scene. the menu is speckled with home comfort staples such as matza ball soup and new york cheesecake (locally known as the best in town), which sits comfortably aside seasonal salads and of course, the home cured and smoked pastrami- for which the deli is famous.”

The shop interior.

Photo Link

A very serious photo of myself with my Rueben sammo... Pastrami, swiss cheese, Russian dressing, pickled cabbage toasted on a half rye bread with a side of coleslaw and a pickle. 

Café Am Neuen See

I had to walk off my Rueben, I met up with some friends at this beer garden within Tiergarten. It’s a pretty spot worthing stopping by for some beer/wine.

The view of the large venue from the dock 

Photo Link

Cuore De Vetro

We then journeyed over to this gelato shop that also seems to serve up many other wonderful things (baked goods, charcuterie, drinks). They are open until 11 PM, making it a great place to stop while out with friends. 

A view of the interior front. The space is really cool, with a nice seating area out front. 

WEDNESDAY

8:15 Meet to depart for group visit on public transport

9:00- 10:30 Group Visit: The Little Sun Project 

“The Little Sun Project is a Berlin-based socially and environmentally conscious initiative that was founded by artist Olafur Eliasson and engineer Frederik Ottesen. Together, Eliasson and Ottesen designed a solar lamp that is sold to entrepreneurs in off-grid communities to work towards creating local businesses while also providing a source of sustainable and reliable light. “

Inside the Little Sun office.

Depart on foot for visit 11:00- 12:00 

Group Visit: Inken Behrmann, an activist from Ende Gelände Volkspark Friedrichshain We will have an informal talk about the work for ending the coal industry in Germany. 

“Ende Gelaende is a broad alliance of people from the anti-nuclear and anti-coal movements, the Rhineland and Lausitz climate camps and the Hambacher Forest anti-coal campaign. They are from grassroots climate action groups, large environmental organizations, left political groups and many other campaigns, groups, and networks. 

Ende Gelaende all share the belief that to stop climate change we need to take action ourselves, using civil disobedience as a powerful signal for real action to put our climate before profit.“

Time on own including lunch

Engelberg

“A visit at Engelberg is a great way to experience a proper German breakfast, which traditionally consists of sourdough bread and rolls served with of loads of charcuterie, cheeses, and spreads. The secret to Engelberg is simple: The crew sources the best goods from all over the country and serves it on a beautiful sidewalk patio.“

The sidewalk patio, it was a wonderful day and a wonderful visit. Everyones food was delicious, this place is most definitely worth the visit if nearby.

Farthest left (somewhat out of view): eggs with smoked ham, German rye, fresh tomato. Then we have gulasch with bread, spaetzle with ham, a boiled sausage with a pretzel and mustard, gulasch with spaetzle, salads. They also have a wonderful selection of drinks.

14:45 Meet at giant TV tower in Alexanderplatz for bike tour 

15:00- 18:00 Group Activity: Fat Tire Bike Tour

Our guide brought us to a number of different historical landmarks throughout Berlin. It was a better time than I had expected, it was a nice day for a bike ride. 

Humboldt University

One of the world’s most influential universities in the 19th and 20th century, linked to major breakthroughs in physics and other disciplines by its professors... such as Albert Einstein. It was the site of one of Nazi Germany’s largest book burnings, the Book Burning Memorial is now in the center of the pavilion.

Berlin Wall

Still standing portion, most of which was torn down in 1989. 

Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe

There are multiple interpretations to the memorial, as nothing explicitly suggests its purpose. There are 2,711 concrete slabs of different heights, laid upon the ground of different elevation. Walking further into the monument, one is surrounded by the granite slabs.

Brandenburg Gate

Altes Museum

Berlin Cathedral

18:15 Group Dinner Good Bank 

“We are the first vertical-farm-to-table-restaurant in the world.

We grow our own vegetables and salads – right before your eyes and for your culinary pleasure. In doing this, we transform unused urban areas into productive farms from which produce can be harvested and used fresh.

We avoid using any kinds of pesticides or genetically modified seeds and protect the environment by removing the need for long cold chains, transportation and packaging waste.

It doesn’t get fresher than this – and it’s a difference you can taste. Our salad leaves also contain more nutrients than those farmed using conventional agricultural methods.

Our vision is to produce all our food self-sufficiently – starting with the three self-grown lettuce and vegetable varieties we currently offer. Others are set to follow.

We hope to play a role in the development and promotion of an increased awareness of sustainability.”

This visit was a lot of fun and the food and drink were simple and delicious. We were served a pumpkin soup, a combination of different salads and bowls, and desert... along with wine, beer, or non-alcoholic tonics and juices. We were given a jar of local honey as a souvenir. 

Rest of evening on own 

Klunkerkranich

“It doesn't get much more Berlin than Klunkerkranich, a makeshift bar on the top floor of an abandoned parking garage in the middle of Neukölln. Equipped with one of the best views over the city and stocked with plenty off cold drinks and savory snacks, this place is one of the ultimate late night bars in Berlin. Stick around for its famous after-hour parties.”

This place was really cool and is definitely worth the visit when in Berlin, take the elevator inside the mall up to the fifth floor... follow the signs to this unusual oasis amongst the city.

Photo

THURSDAY

8:15 Meet in the lobby to depart for the group visit 

9.00 – 11.30 Group Visit Agora Energiewende 

“In 2012, the European Climate Foundation and the Mercator Foundation founded Agora Energiewende to tackle the challenges posed by the energy transition. Its official mandate is to develop academically rigorous and politically feasible pathways for transforming energy systems toward clean energy in Germany and across the globe. Because its core funding comes from philanthropic organizations, Agora is fully autonomous, operating independently of business interests and political pressures. Within the framework of some international projects, Agora receives public funds in the form of grants.“

11:30 Lunch & time on own 

Azzam Restaurant

“Famous for extraordinarily tasty fatteh and hummus, the Palestinian owners of Azzam have created a true melting pot for hungry diners of all stripes to experience the cultural and culinary diversity of Neukölln.”

One of the many places brought up through immigration to Berlin. The space is a meeting place for locals and visitors alike, the place was packed... and the kitchen was booming as fresh ingredients were thrown together and tossed out on large plates of deliciousness. 

Gamäldegalerie

“The Gemäldegalerie boasts one of the world’s most important collections of European painting ranging from the 13th to 18th century. Masterpieces from all epochs in the history of art are on permanent display here, including paintings by Jan van Eyck, Pieter Bruegel, Albrecht Dürer, Raphael, Titian, Caravaggio, Peter Paul Rubens, Rembrandt, and Jan Vermeer van Delft. The gallery is especially proud of its strong collection of German and Italian painting from the 13th to 16th century and painting from the Low Countries dating from the 15th to 17th century.“

Hieronymus Bosch ... Triptych of the Temptation of St. Anthony (1501)

Peter Paul Rubens ... Christ Giving the Keys to St. Peter (1614)

Rembrandt ... Self-Portrait with Velvet Beret (1634)

One of Rembrandt’s etching, there was an entire exhibition on his own and his students etching. It is difficult to discern between his own and his student’s work.

Caravaggio ... Amor Vincit Omnia (Love Conquers All) (1602)

Titian ... Venus and Cupid (1549)

Raphael ... Madonna Colonna (1508)

Sandro Botticelli ... Portrait of a Young Woman (1480s)

18:30 Group Dinner

FRIDAY

9.15 Depart for the academic visit by public transport 

10:00 – 11:30 Group Visit: UfaFabrik: International Center for Community and Ecology Viktoriastr. 

“Internationally, the UfaFabrik enjoys considerable recognition as a leading demonstration in the areas of culture, community, and ecology. The UfaFabrik Berlin is a living example of the possibilities that exist for creating attractive, socially and ecologically just ways of living in a metropolis. 

We will discuss sustainable energy at the center and how community involvement has been crucial to the development of UfaFabrik Berlin. A site which had been a wasteland for over half a century. Along with friends, fans, activists, and neighbors, the group cleared away rubbish, built transportable organic vegetable plots and reaped the first fruits of their labor.”

From the green roof of one of the buildings, much of which contains solar panels. The energy is sold to the local community when there is a surplus and bought back when there is a shortage.

Walking along the path of the community. The buildings originally made as a film factory now house all sorts of things... a dojo, music studios, schools, a fire-oven bakery, and more. 

Depart for hotel by public transport 

14.00 Pick up luggage at hotel and depart for main train station by public transport 

15.06 Depart on train (EC 174) for Hamburg 

17.11 Arrive in Hamburg and switch to train to Copenhagen 

17.28 Depart Hamburg for Copenhagen (EC39) 

The sunset seen through the train window.

22.26 Arrive in Copenhagen 

I arrived to the energetic bustle of culture night in Copenhagen, its very unfortunate that we didn’t plan around culture night. It would have been worth it to come home early in order to be a part of this special night.

I was happy to be back in Copenhagen, I went home to make some oatmeal and went to bed.

[themoneybuff-blog]

Are you a shopaholic? How to fight a shopping addiction

Yesterday, I mentioned that because I grew up poor, I inherited a faulty money blueprint from my parents. They didnt know how to handle money effectively, so they couldnt teach me how to handle it effectively. I entered adulthood with many of the same bad habits theyd had when I was a kid. I was a compulsive spender, for instance. I had a shopping addiction. I had no willpower, no impulse control. Even when I had no money in the bank, I still found ways to spend. I took on over $20,000 in credit card debt before I turned 25!

Nowadays, I mostly have my spending under control. Im no longer in debt, and I force myself to make conscious decisions about what I purchase. (Conscious spending is one of the keys to overcoming emotional spending.) Having said that, I know that if I relax for even a moment, Ill be right back in my old habits. Ill find myself at the grocery store buying magazines to soothe a bruised ego, or shopping for music in the iTunes store because I had a stressful day. How do I know Ill relapse if Im not careful? Because I do from time to time. When I was prepping for my big talk at the end of June, for example, I felt super stressed and my shopping addiction kicked in. I spent an afternoon browsing on Amazon, putting things in my shopping basket. (I even ordered a few of the things, although I knew I shouldnt.) Emotional spending is comforting not just for me, but for a lot of other people too. Though Im a recovering spendaholic, Im still a spendaholic. Im always one step away from compulsive spending. My story is not unique. What Is a Shopping Addiction? People who have a shopping addiction suffer from whats known as compulsive spending. According to the Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery: Compulsive shopping and spending is described as a pattern of chronic, repetitive purchasing that becomes difficult to stop and ultimately results in harmful consequences. It is defined as an impulse control disorder and has features similar to other addictive disorders without involving the use of an intoxicating drug. The organization offers the following list of warning signs of a shopping addiction: Shopping of spending money as a result of being disappointed, angry or scared.Shopping/spending habits causing emotional distress or chaos in ones life.Having arguments with others regarding shopping or spending habits.Feeling lost without credit cards.Buying items on credit that would not be bought with cash.Spending money causes a rush of euphoria and anxiety at the same time.Spending or shopping feels like a reckless or forbidden act.Feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused after shopping or spending money. Many purchases are never used.Lying to others about what was bought or how much money was spent.Thinking excessively about money.Spending a lot of time juggling accounts and bills to accommodate spending. Ive experienced all of these. In fact, I used to suffer from many of these at the same time. It felt awful. An addiction to spending is a scary, dangerous thing. As with other addictions, victims feel lost and out of control. People who have never suffered from a shopping addiction cant understand the problem, and you may have a hard time explaining it to them. They dont know what its like to see something and feel the urge to buy it now. They dont know the lure of the shopping rush and the subsequent nausea from the guilt have having spent too much. Overspendershave confused and confusing relationships with money, write psychologists Brad and Ted Klontz in Mind Over Money. On one hand, theyre convinced that money and the things it can buy will make them happy; yet theyre often broke because they cant control their spending. Fortunately, Ive learned some ways to cope with emotional spending. Though Im still tempted, I dont spend nearly as much as I used to because Ive developed habits that help me do the right thing, even when the right thing is difficult. How to Fight a Shopping Addiction Based on my own experience and based on conversations Ive had with others here are seven strategies you can use to fight a shopping addiction: Cut up your credit cards. If you have a problem with compulsive spending, destroy your credit cards now. Dont make excuses. Dont jot the account numbers someplace just in case. Dont rationalize that you need them to help your credit score. If credit cards fuel your emotional spending, youre better off without them. (You can always get new cards once youve learned better habits.)Carry cash only. Dont use your checkbook or a debit card. Inconvenient? Absolutely, but thats the point. If youre a compulsive spender, your goal is to break the habit. To do this, youve got to make sacrifices. Spending cash is a way to remind yourself that youre spending real money. Plastic (and to some degree checks) make this connection fuzzy.Track every penny you spend. You may not even be aware of how much youre spending. Back when I let my emotions rule my financial life, I had no idea how many books I was buying, for example. But once I started tracking every dollar that came into and went out of my life, patterns became clear. When you see your spending patterns, you can act on them.Play mind games. For some people, money isnt an emotional issue. Theyre able to make logical choices and not be tempted to otherwise. Theyre lucky. For most of us, however, it doesnt work that way. If youre in this majority, find ways to play tricks on yourself. You might train yourself to use the 30-day rule, for instance: When you see something you want, dont buy it right away; instead, note it on your calendar for 30 days in the future. If you still want it in a month, consider buying it. Ive found that I can keep myself from buying a lot of stuff by simply putting it on my Amazon wish list. I come back later and wonder why I was ever tempted!Avoid temptation. The best way to keep from spending is to avoid situations that tempt you to spend in the first place. If your weakness is books, stay out of bookstores and avoid Amazon. If you tend to overspend at big department stores, stay away from the mall. Stop going to the places where you normally spend, especially if youre under emotional stress.Remind yourself of larger goals. Ive struggled with my weight all my life. Whenever Im tempted to eat something bad, I ask myself, Will this help me or hurt me? The same question can be asked when youre about to make an impulse purchase. Will your new toy bring you closer to your goals or move you further away? (If youre not clear on your larger goals, try drafting a personal mission statement.)Ask for help. Theres no shame in asking for help if youre having trouble with your spending. Talk to a close friend or family member, and ask for support in breaking the cycle of compulsive spending. You may even want to seek professional help. But remember: If you ask for help, dont get angry when your counselors call you on your missteps. Listen to what they have to say. Each of these techniques can help curb your shopping addiction to some degree. Different techniques will appeal to different people. Theres one other strategy that Ive found to be very effective for myself: When I find myself tempted to buy something, I force myself to stop for a moment and ask myself some serious questions.

What to Do When Youre Tempted to Buy Lets say youre in the mall or at the Electronics Emporium. Theres nothing you need to buy, but youre killing time while your spouse finishes an errand. As you wait, you browse. You admire the Thneeds. Look! Theres a new one! Its bright and shiny and you think it will make you happy, so you pick it up, walk to the register to purchase it. Wait! Before you buy, think about the following questions: When will I use this? When you buy compulsively, when you spend on impulse, you tend to acquire a lot of stuff you never use. Look around your home. Do you have unopened CDs or DVDs? Unread books? Unplayed videogames? Do you have clothes that still sport their price tags? Do you have a collection of money-saving gadgets gathering dust in your closets and kitchen drawers? Before you buy something new, ask yourself when youll actually use it and be honest with yourself.Do I have another one like this already? If so, whats wrong with the old one? I use this question in a variety of situations, especially when Im tempted to buy clothes. Kim gets frustrated with my tendency to acquire new t-shirts, for example. You already have five blue t-shirts, she told me recently. Why do you need another? This is also a great question to ask when faced with the urge to upgrade. Do you really need to replace your iPhone?If I buy this, where will I put it? Its surprising how often this question prevents me from buying something new. For the past few years, Ive had limited space to store stuff. First, Kim and I were on the road in an RV with no storage. Next, we moved to a smaller house. If I force myself to think about where Ill store whatever it is that tempts me, thats often enough to make me decide not to buy it.If I buy this, can I pay cash? Would I pay cash for this? When I was in debt, I bought almost everything on credit. I figured I could pay for it later. All of my cash went to pay my credit card bills. I was dumb. Ive since realized that if something isnt worth saving for, if its not worth buying with cash, then its almost certainly not worth buying on credit.Can I buy a good-quality used version for less? I used to be a new snob. I believed that things were only worth buying if I could have them in new, pristine condition. Now I know that great deals can be had on gently used items. This is true of cars, of course, but its also true of games, electronics, clothing, and more. Make a habit of checking Craigslist first and taking a look at your local thrift store.Do I know anyone who already owns one I can borrow? I overheard a story the other day. Evan was preparing for some yardwork and making an inventory of his tools. He decided he wanted a chainsaw. He called his friend Lee to ask for advice on which one to buy. Why do you want to buy a chainsaw? Lee asked. Do you have a lot of trees to clear? Evan admitted that he did not. Then why dont you just borrow mine? Lee asked. When done respectfully, borrowing is a great alternative to buying new.Can I wait to buy this? One of the best things Ive done to fight my shopping addiction is to teach myself to wait. For the past decade, Ive used the afore-mentioned 30-day rule. When I find myself in the Electronics Emporium holding the latest game for the Nintendo Switch, I put it back and tell myself that I can buy it in 30 days if I still want it. The key is to make yourself wait to make a purchase, to not give in to your desire to buy in the moment.Why do I want to buy this? And why do I want to buy it today? Its true that many times Im inclined to buy something because it would fill a need in my life. But just as often I find myself wanting to buy things because Ive recently seen an ad. Or, worse, a friend has shown me some cool new gadget. In these cases, Im not filling an ongoing need; Im simply trying to fill a sense of lack created by comparing myself with others. If I can figure out why I have the urge to buy something, I can sometimes make the urge go away.Are there better options available? This is a great question to trick myself into taking more time. If I find myself browsing Amazon tempted to buy a compound miter saw, for example, I can sometimes talk myself out of it by realizing that I have no idea whether this compound miter saw is the best model. Instead, I go research compound miter saws (or whatever) via Consumer Reports and online review sites. I try to find the best option. Most of the time, the process gets overwhelming: There are so many compound miter saws with so many different features! I lose interest and I save myself some money.What would my partner say if I bought this? Kim isnt opposed to everything I buy, but shes often able to detect compulsive spending when I cannot. Sometimes if Im tempted buy a new toy, I try to put myself in her shoes, to view the purchase through her eyes. If, from her perspective, the purchase seems reasonable, then I consider it. But it looks foolish, I often change my mind. Ive used all of these questions to learn to control my shopping addiction. I dont ask myself all of these questions every time I shop. Each is useful in certain situations. And these questions dont stop all of my purchases. But Ive found that if I give myself honest answers, they can prevent a lot of spending. Additional Resources For more information on coping with compulsive spending and shopping addiction, explore the following web sites: Finally, consider seeking professional help. There is no shame in obtaining psychotherapy for problems that seem bigger than you. Ultimately you must look inward to overcome any form of addiction a therapist is like a trained guide who can help you find the way. The good news is you can overcome this. You can break free from emotional spending. The bad news is that it takes work. It wont happen overnight. Youll make mistakes, and youll backslide. When you do, dont give up. Dont beat yourself up because you bought a new purse or played a round of golf at the new course. Youre human. Keep focused on your long-term goal, and resolve to do better next time. [embedded content] https://www.getrichslowly.org/shopping-addiction/

[sketchesnblue]

  Since I was very small I had a passion for style. Being influenced by my family who seemed to be stylish by default, I always embellish my world with style, it is very important. Style is not just what you wear or where you go, it’s also about how you live, and I realized that styled living, is the new way to live.

My life as a stylist in a department store came after I had went through several style changes from the time of girlhood all the way through teen-hood. My pink and purple, girly, girly girl style of skirts, dresses and flowers morphed into a prairie gypsy look of long flowy skirts, peasant tops, and lace up boots. I was a little into grunge music and 90’s r&b, and hip-hop, not to mention gospel and soul. Then in junior high I went for the baggy, too big clothes. Tommy Hilfiger, Filas,, more like the urban hip-hop look with the dark eyeliner, slicked back pony, huge hoop earrings and over-sized jersey’s. It was a look, but didn’t last long, by 8th grade I was in my clueless like plaid skirts and and solid tops. i started mixing conservative with rock, with a pop of bold accessories on a streamline straight forward blouse and jeans look. I also liked more fitted skirts and classic tops. I have always been into shoes but it got bad when I got any kind of money. I was buying buckled  wedges, penny loafers, everything but sneakers.

When I started working at the Mall of America, I started to just buy whatever I liked and was kind of confused as to what my style was, it did not seem very cohesive, and mostly was purchased for poetry shows, or nights out, or a conservative look for school.

Bloomingdale’s opened me up to designers I had only seen in magazines. The DKNY, Kenneth Cole, Ralph Lauren, and Triple 5 Soul where my go to. I have always gone out to different restaurants in the city. I lived in the hubs of cities because I am not a driver, I am a pedestrian, so I am able to go inside shops when I happen into a neighborhood,  I am usually not in a rush. I will try different restaurants, and I have a few go-toss that I frequent a lot in the city. I plan on creating a post about my top 5 or 10 restaurants or destinations spots in the city., so more to come on that note.

I also was a magazine junkie, I really became bored with American magazines ten years ago and switched to buying magazines from around the world. I really started to get into street style about 5 years ago. I have been following the fashion style on blogs, YouTube, but my favorite platform to find street-style at the moment is Pinterest.

I was able to give up my obsessions with magazines for the sake of fashion alone, I still may purchased them for the collage possibilities, but not as much.

I am a cafe loving foodie, who knows her wines and cheeses. I am also a treasure hunter so I love vintage and thrift-ed items that have both a history and a personality. I watched the Spanish channel, and watch travel vlogs on YouTube. I am earnestly interested in people, because they are divine works of art to me. A good drink, good food, great music, and conversation are always recipes for a good time. I love the simple complexities of life. This post is about stepping outside of the mold, and owning my personal style. I am a cosmopolitan, I come from a very cosmopolitan and international city. I am just happy, blessed and overjoyed in Christ, that I get to live it everyday.

I am trying to be more and more conscious of nature and how my habits affect it. A flicked cigarette enough times is a danger, buying things that are toxic for the environment, re using and  working clothes to get more wear, and re restricting my self to only purchasing meaningful items that will improve my life, is essential. I really want to love everything that I own and the stories that come along with it.

I have been watching somewhat of a style documentary put out by Intersection by the New York Times. I love it because it goes all around the world and looks at culture and style through the people’s point of view.

I am not a designer person, I wear what I like, I also do not believe that it takes money to have a great lifestyle. I think it takes investing in yourself to have a great lifestyle. Cooking the foods you want to eat, if you can not afford to go to a restaurant. Making use of very public places if you are a creative to slow down time, eat out doors or people watch. To be social when ever possible, to open up and enjoy life, because everyone deserves it. Sometimes it is as simple as buying flowers for yourself once a week, finding a thrift-ed vase with personality and upgrading the style and the scent factor in an intimate space.

Over the years i realized that people should fall in love with their lives, by finding ways to put themselves in atmospheres that feel truly authentic to them. Have a bottom line, that you do things for yourself that make you smile daily. Prayer, Happiness, and joy are essential for a beautiful life.

Stephanie’s Look Book

Global Fashion and Street style Since I was very small I had a passion for style. Being influenced by my family who seemed to be stylish by default, I always embellish my world with style, it is very important.

[sophiewriteswordsfromfaraway]

10: EATING OUR WAY THROUGH OSAKA

As mentioned in my latest blog post, Ryan and I have had a two month whirlwind of a school  break. Honestly, whirlwind feels like an understatement, but you can decide that for yourself…

The first two weeks of March were dedicated to a “Thailand’s Greatest Hits featuring Sophie & Ryan” tour with my mom and dad. This consisted of relaxing in the turquoise waters of the Indian Ocean (for details of this stunning location refer to chapter 5), eating our way through the vibey town of Chiang Mai (chapters 3 and 4), and taking in all the opulent temples, well-designed malls, and chaotic charm of Bangkok (chapter 6). Every single day was absolutely magical, and I am forever grateful to my parents for taking time out of their busy lives to brave the Thai heat and see what our life looks like.

A little over 24 hours after my parents departed, Ryan and I packed our backpacks and boarded a plane of our own.

AWAY WE GO TO JAPAN!

DAY .5

Our first stop was Osaka, the second largest city in the country. We landed at night, queued our way through immigration, used a Japanese toilet for the first time (more on this later), and found our way onto a train to the city center. This train ride was our first look into the unbelievably clean, quiet, and well-organized machine called Japan, and it set the bar high. Upon arrival at the train station, we hopped into a cab and headed for our hostel.

DAY 1

We woke to a chilly, rainy morning. Apparently, we had arrived in Japan just in time for a unprecedented cold snap. Despite the weather, we bundled up and made our way through the streets of Osaka.

ASIDE:

It was at this point that we realized just how much tropical Thailand had changed our sense of temperature. We were officially cold weather wimps.

The first spot on our agenda was Osaka Castle, a gorgeous tiered tower in traditional Japanese architectural style. The castle was built, destroyed, and rebuilt many times beginning in 1583, but the current structure was completed in 1931. The building is surrounded by wide moats, stone walls, and expansive gardens. We explored the grounds in awe. Before leaving, we had to try our first Japanese treat, a warm, chocolate-filled Taiyaki.

JAPANESE FOOD 101: TAIYAKI

Taiyaki is a popular, fish-shaped (Asian carp-shaped, to be exact) pastry with a creamy filling. Common fillings include sweet red bean, custard, chocolate, cheese and ice cream.

After wiping the chocolate from our mouths, we hopped onto the metro and rode to the Shinsaibashi area. Shinsaibashi is the main shopping district in Osaka featuring its iconic arcade-style covered streets lined with everything from high-end shops to thrift stores. We weaved through the crowds of shoppers to a quieter side street for lunch at the city’s oldest vegan restaurant. It did not disappoint.

Huddled under umbrellas, we walked through the drizzle to Orange Street--a collection of small, trendy shops tucked in an alley away from the hustle bustle of the city. We took shelter in the little shops, perusing artisan homegoods and trying out leather couches. It was clear that creativity, design, and progressive fashion were alive and well in Osaka.

Again, we squeezed through the (now bigger) crowds in the Shinsaibashi area to find our dinner spot--another Japanese vegan restaurant. I had an incredible meatless version of the classic Gyudon dish.

JAPANESE FOOD 101: GYUDON

Directly translated, Gyudon means ‘beef bowl,’ which is pretty self explanatory. The dish consists of thinly sliced beef and onion cooked in a sweet and salty sauce on top of a bowl of rice. It is considered to be Japanese comfort food. Admittedly, I also found it very comforting.

After dinner, we made our way to the Dotonbori Area, the downtown area of Osaka. A canal runs directly through the heart of the city, so Dotonbori mainly consists of two promenades running alongside the water. These walking streets are lined with shops, restaurants, and, infamously, advertisements. If you haven’t heard of or seen Dotonbori, it is worth looking up. It is a visual that is hard to accurately describe: massive, neon billboards attached to the side of buildings, incredible 3-D signs advertising the stores below, even a giant crab adorning the entrance of a seafood restaurant.

Perhaps even more enthralling are the tiny, hidden alleyways segmenting off the main road. Lit by red, paper lanterns, the maze of narrow paths lead to the real treasures of Dotonbori--hole in the wall pubs and mom and pop restaurants seating only 2 or 3 patrons. Ryan and I found ourselves climbing a spiral staircase and choosing a random door. We opened it to find a small, dim, rectangular room, about as big as the inside of a school bus. Our jaws dropped. One wall was covered floor to ceiling with massive bookshelves containing every jazz record you could imagine. The opposite wall featured a small bar with a few patrons smoking and a elderly Japanese bartender. The back wall was an array of various speakers and lamps, stacked upon each other in a tetris-like fashion.  We sat down at one of the two small tables and ordered Yebisu beers (a Japan standard) and tried to soak in the quirky charm of the place. The few patrons at the bar continued to smoke, adding to the retro atmosphere. Every few minutes the bartender would come out from behind the bar to flip or change the record. The whole scene was like something out of a movie, and we were happy to be a part of it.

DAY 2

Our second day began with a trip outside the city to the Momofuku Ando Instant Ramen Museum. That’s right: a museum honoring the world-famous Cup Noodles and its founder, Momofuku Ando. Contrary to what you may think, the noodles have a rather interesting history.

THE COMPLETE HISTORY OF INSTANT RAMEN

After observing poverty-stricken citizens of Osaka struggling for access to a simple, warm meal, Momofuku Ando was impassioned to solve the food shortage problem in post-war Japan. Though not suited for the task by trade, Ando formulated a plan. He wanted to create a food that was tasty, economical, non-perishable, and ready in less than three minutes. He spent more than a year trying and failing to create a noodle recipe allowing for instant rehydration. Finally, and quite by accident, he discovered that using tempura oil allowed for the perfect consistency and dehydration. In 1958, Ando’s first instant noodle product was released. He went on to invent today’s Cup Noodles, as well as many other international products. He even created a special product for astronauts aboard Japan’s Discovery space shuttle. Ando died in 2007 and was mourned by the entire country as a national hero.

Ryan and I were surprised by the cultural impact and humble beginnings of the instant noodle. The museum itself was also lovely. Visitors were able to wander through the thorough exhibit and make their own custom Cup Noodles at the end.

After a quick lunch, Ryan and I wandered to the Shinsekai area. Visually similar to the wild, gaudy style of Dotonbori, Shinsekai is a neighborhood that was rebuilt following World War II, flourished in the years following, and remained largely untouched since. It’s an interesting spot. Shops selling tourist t-shirts are interspersed with cheap, cafeteria-style restaurants full of locals and small rooms of old men playing traditional Japanese board games. We indulged in Shinsekai’s famous snack: kushikatsu.

JAPANESE FOOD 101: KUSHIKATSU

Kushikatsu are various meats, veggies, eggs, or seafood that are breaded, deep fried, and skewered. The skewers are served up with metal tins of salty dipping sauce and fresh cabbage leaves. The number one rule of kushikatsu? No double dipping.

After stuffing our faces with potato and banana kushikatsu, we walked to Shitenno-ji Temple, one of the oldest Buddhist temples in Japan. Coming from Thailand, a country with over 30,000 active Buddhist temples, Ryan and I were blown away by how different the entire temple experience is in Japan. The structures themselves were very simple and featured a classic tiered pagoda, a raked gravel zen garden, and a massive traditional gate. We visited the main hall and climbed up the pagoda. We found it to be a very peaceful, quiet, and reverent experience.

As the afternoon turned to evening, we had another vegan Japanese dinner in a cozy restaurant overlooking the street, and finished the night with our first of many mochi ice cream balls.

JAPANESE FOOD 101: MOCHI

Mochi is a rice “cake” made from glutinous rice. The rice cake is then pounded into a paste and molded into a shape. Common recipes include mochi balls filled with a sweet bean paste, small pieces of mochi in warm bean soup, and balls of ice cream wrapped inside a mochi covering.

DAY 3

After an early breakfast, we checked out of our hostel and walked to the Osaka Train Station to catch our first Shinkansen, or bullet, train. If you don’t already know, Japan has a network of high speed trains that link most of its major cities. The bullet trains travel between 200-300 miles per hour, making several stops before arriving at the final destination. They are extremely clean, efficient, reliable, and safe. They also reduce carbon dioxide emissions by approximately 15,000 tons per year. Basically, they are the future, and we should all get on board---literally and, and in our case, physically.

AWAY WE GO TO HIROSHIMA.

[hercreativeprocess]

Her Creative Process: Lauren Machen

Lauren Machen was raised in Minneapolis in a home immersed in the arts. She studied Art and Psychology at Macalester College and Textiles at Goldsmiths, University of London. She has worked as a Set Designer + Art Director  for the past 8 years creating sets for Fashion, Music and Advertising. Clients include POP, Vogue Italia, Nowness, Rihanna, St. Vincent, Migos, Amazon, Google and Target among many others. Over the past year she has started to develop her own artwork which explores issues of race, identity and mental health. 

How did you end up in your chosen career?

There's definitely a short and a long version of this, it has been a journey filled with humbling experiences and little angels along the way. I guess I'll give you the long version! 

Ten years ago, I didn't know the career I have now was even an option. Although I come from a very artistic family, my midwestern roots had me thinking that art could only be a hobby or a plan B. I so badly wanted to make art my plan A but was fearful that I would fail so I wanted some sort of job security...but this thought was short lived and didn't really exist for me at the time. 

When I finished undergrad in 2007 there were no entry level jobs like that to be had unless you were super lucky. I ended up slinging (resentfully, mindlessly, and sometimes hungover) jeans at Bloomingdale's for $12/hr at a place I like to call The Death Star aka The Mall of America. It wasn't glamorous, I felt trapped...very much like a hamster on a wheel, and the only thing that kept me going during this time were the little art projects I had going on. I was painting, making my own line of clothing and designing costumes for a local play.

After a year and a half I was depressed because I wasn't honoring myself artistically. So I packed everything up in my shitty red Toyota Corolla and drove to CA to live with a friend in Santa Cruz. I spent nine months there managing a hair salon and a beauty supply store, but there was nothing going on there beyond a party scene so I left and moved down to LA. 

I landed in Hollywood and spent everyday (this is not an exaggeration) on Craigslist sending out emails for work. I found a job at a hair salon in Santa Monica for $10/hr and worked nights so that I could give the photo industry a try during the day. I seriously had zero dollars. I basically spent what I made on gas getting out to SM! I interned at various places and then got lucky and started to assist a wardrobe stylist and make some money. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was in the wrong department. I wanted to build things. 

I started watching set designers on the jobs I was on and asking questions. I also picked up work at a design / build firm as a fabricator helping them do large installs. I also was making a few custom accessories for some fashion spreads and musicians, with huge thanks to the well-connected stylist I was assisting. 

After a bit I realized that you can't fake being a set designer. There's no sort of faking it ‘till you make it because it's the type of job that requires experience and tons of foresight in order to do it well. I stopped doing wardrobe and started to assist an amazing set designer. I worked for two years with him and learned so much. During that time I was doing my own jobs and then slowly started to build up my business. There were many gaps and I definitely used credit cards to survive. Sometimes jobs can take 3 months to pay, which is terrifying for someone living paycheck to paycheck. 

Fast forward four years and I now have a successful business as a set designer.

When do you feel most creative? Be it a time of day, particular season, or after a really great taco.

I feel most creative in the summer and when I've given myself some time out in nature. I love the sunshine, it makes me feel free and happy which encourages my brain to wander and investigate creative questions and urges. Also because it's light until like, 9 pm, it makes me way more productive. In the winter I'm more prone to be in bed early with my Netflix on.

Where is your favorite place to create, and why?

I don't know if I have a favorite place. I like all places, it just depends on what I'm working on. Obviously my studio is where I do a lot of it but sometimes the wild and crazy colors of props from past jobs make my eyes hurt. So I like to be at home where the palette is neutral and warm and it's quiet. A large part of what I do is about collaboration with other artists, the lovely people I get to be on set with. So creating with them on set is always a joy for me. I learn so much and love the spontaneity of it all.

Is there anything special you like to eat, watch, or listen to while you make things?

Music is so important in my life, so I always am playing something either on the record player or if I'm at my desk or studio, from a music app. Something that makes me feel nostalgic, intellectual (I mean this in a joking way, like classical music), trance-like, or upbeat like I'm at the best dance party; this is my go-to. Also water, water, water.

Typically, what does your creative process look like?

Lots of research and time is spent in front of the computer when I begin a project. I pull reference images and design in Sketchup. I don't think I was made for sitting for long periods so sometimes this can be hard for me. But I've learned to deal by taking breaks. Dance and kundalini yoga are great energy recyclers. I'm my best self when I've exerted and moved around my energy. I also find that when I'm focused on my body and breath that my mind and subconscious are working behind the scenes on the creative. 

If I'm prepping I spend a lot of time in my car shopping for props and furniture at the prop houses and retail stores. If I don't have a commissioned project going on I have a whole stack of ideas that I've written down in my notes to investigate. Then I head to the studio to play it out to see if it's still interesting to me to push further.

Who and what are you inspired by?

Without sounding cheesy I really am inspired by all the people in my life. Each with their own unique voice, perspective, and approach to life. Visually I'm inspired by things in nature. Famous and not so famous furniture designers, painters, photographers, movies, architects, creatives, and other set designers. We are all a part of a huge collective of folks who just want to make stuff and share it. I also find inspiration in the materials I use, found objects at thrift stores, wide open spaces, and my own past struggles and the larger human struggle surrounding issues of race, identity, and mental health.

How do you get past creative block?

See creative process answer. Also I think going for a long-ass hike that's so physically exhausting it gets me out of my head and obsessive thoughts. Also, doing something for someone else, and listening to a podcast while on a walk.

How do you deal with perfectionism, self-doubt, and comparison?

Ugh, perfectionism. As Americans and as human beings we have been groomed to put pressure on ourselves to always strive to be perfect or the best. So it's sort of ingrained in our society. Because of this we compare, gauge, and judge ourselves in relation to others and the minute we do that we doubt ourselves. Social media can be hurtful if you're not careful. 

Spending too much time or putting too much emphasis on this stuff can be super detrimental to your own development as your best self and as a creative person. I struggle with this, like we all do, but I remind myself that those are hurts I am putting on myself which I have control over. So I take a deep breath and try to reroute my thinking. Also I feel like a good exercise for this is to name all the things you’re grateful for; it's a good way to ground yourself back in reality. Try doing it while smiling.

Do you have any tips for someone who wants to do what you do (and be really good at it)?  

Reach out to people whose work you find inspiring and ask them to coffee. Don't take a no-response personally if you're reaching out to someone for the first time. I guarantee that person is just super busy with work and the email probably got buried. So try again. Be persistent and intentional with your energy.  Assist, assist, assist...you'll be a better boss. Familiarize yourself with the prop houses around LA and what's in them.

What are you working on now, and what’s coming up next?  

Right now I have an installation up at an event called House of Peroni in NY curated by one of the musicians I work with. The show is also coming to LA later this month. My husband and I just finished co-directing our first project together: a dance film for the launch of a new magazine coming out this winter celebrating women of color. We are doing all the post work on that now. 

I think I've already done double the amount of work I did last year and we still have three months left of it so right now I am also taking some time to focus on my family and hoping to seek more of a balance between work and home life so I can stay grounded, be present for my loved ones, and have some chill time for myself.

CONNECT WITH LAUREN:

Website | Instagram

[themoneybuff-blog]

Are you a shopaholic? How to fight a shopping addiction

Yesterday, I mentioned that because I grew up poor, I inherited a faulty money blueprint from my parents. They didnt know how to handle money effectively, so they couldnt teach me how to handle it effectively. I entered adulthood with many of the same bad habits theyd had when I was a kid. I was a compulsive spender, for instance. I had a shopping addiction. I had no willpower, no impulse control. Even when I had no money in the bank, I still found ways to spend. I took on over $20,000 in credit card debt before I turned 25!

Nowadays, I mostly have my spending under control. Im no longer in debt, and I force myself to make conscious decisions about what I purchase. (Conscious spending is one of the keys to overcoming emotional spending.) Having said that, I know that if I relax for even a moment, Ill be right back in my old habits. Ill find myself at the grocery store buying magazines to soothe a bruised ego, or shopping for music in the iTunes store because I had a stressful day. How do I know Ill relapse if Im not careful? Because I do from time to time. When I was prepping for my big talk at the end of June, for example, I felt super stressed and my shopping addiction kicked in. I spent an afternoon browsing on Amazon, putting things in my shopping basket. (I even ordered a few of the things, although I knew I shouldnt.) Emotional spending is comforting not just for me, but for a lot of other people too. Though Im a recovering spendaholic, Im still a spendaholic. Im always one step away from compulsive spending. My story is not unique. What Is a Shopping Addiction? People who have a shopping addiction suffer from whats known as compulsive spending. According to the Illinois Institute for Addiction Recovery: Compulsive shopping and spending is described as a pattern of chronic, repetitive purchasing that becomes difficult to stop and ultimately results in harmful consequences. It is defined as an impulse control disorder and has features similar to other addictive disorders without involving the use of an intoxicating drug. The organization offers the following list of warning signs of a shopping addiction: Shopping of spending money as a result of being disappointed, angry or scared.Shopping/spending habits causing emotional distress or chaos in ones life.Having arguments with others regarding shopping or spending habits.Feeling lost without credit cards.Buying items on credit that would not be bought with cash.Spending money causes a rush of euphoria and anxiety at the same time.Spending or shopping feels like a reckless or forbidden act.Feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused after shopping or spending money. Many purchases are never used.Lying to others about what was bought or how much money was spent.Thinking excessively about money.Spending a lot of time juggling accounts and bills to accommodate spending. Ive experienced all of these. In fact, I used to suffer from many of these at the same time. It felt awful. An addiction to spending is a scary, dangerous thing. As with other addictions, victims feel lost and out of control. People who have never suffered from a shopping addiction cant understand the problem, and you may have a hard time explaining it to them. They dont know what its like to see something and feel the urge to buy it now. They dont know the lure of the shopping rush and the subsequent nausea from the guilt have having spent too much. Overspendershave confused and confusing relationships with money, write psychologists Brad and Ted Klontz in Mind Over Money. On one hand, theyre convinced that money and the things it can buy will make them happy; yet theyre often broke because they cant control their spending. Fortunately, Ive learned some ways to cope with emotional spending. Though Im still tempted, I dont spend nearly as much as I used to because Ive developed habits that help me do the right thing, even when the right thing is difficult. How to Fight a Shopping Addiction Based on my own experience and based on conversations Ive had with others here are seven strategies you can use to fight a shopping addiction: Cut up your credit cards. If you have a problem with compulsive spending, destroy your credit cards now. Dont make excuses. Dont jot the account numbers someplace just in case. Dont rationalize that you need them to help your credit score. If credit cards fuel your emotional spending, youre better off without them. (You can always get new cards once youve learned better habits.)Carry cash only. Dont use your checkbook or a debit card. Inconvenient? Absolutely, but thats the point. If youre a compulsive spender, your goal is to break the habit. To do this, youve got to make sacrifices. Spending cash is a way to remind yourself that youre spending real money. Plastic (and to some degree checks) make this connection fuzzy.Track every penny you spend. You may not even be aware of how much youre spending. Back when I let my emotions rule my financial life, I had no idea how many books I was buying, for example. But once I started tracking every dollar that came into and went out of my life, patterns became clear. When you see your spending patterns, you can act on them.Play mind games. For some people, money isnt an emotional issue. Theyre able to make logical choices and not be tempted to otherwise. Theyre lucky. For most of us, however, it doesnt work that way. If youre in this majority, find ways to play tricks on yourself. You might train yourself to use the 30-day rule, for instance: When you see something you want, dont buy it right away; instead, note it on your calendar for 30 days in the future. If you still want it in a month, consider buying it. Ive found that I can keep myself from buying a lot of stuff by simply putting it on my Amazon wish list. I come back later and wonder why I was ever tempted!Avoid temptation. The best way to keep from spending is to avoid situations that tempt you to spend in the first place. If your weakness is books, stay out of bookstores and avoid Amazon. If you tend to overspend at big department stores, stay away from the mall. Stop going to the places where you normally spend, especially if youre under emotional stress.Remind yourself of larger goals. Ive struggled with my weight all my life. Whenever Im tempted to eat something bad, I ask myself, Will this help me or hurt me? The same question can be asked when youre about to make an impulse purchase. Will your new toy bring you closer to your goals or move you further away? (If youre not clear on your larger goals, try drafting a personal mission statement.)Ask for help. Theres no shame in asking for help if youre having trouble with your spending. Talk to a close friend or family member, and ask for support in breaking the cycle of compulsive spending. You may even want to seek professional help. But remember: If you ask for help, dont get angry when your counselors call you on your missteps. Listen to what they have to say. Each of these techniques can help curb your shopping addiction to some degree. Different techniques will appeal to different people. Theres one other strategy that Ive found to be very effective for myself: When I find myself tempted to buy something, I force myself to stop for a moment and ask myself some serious questions.

What to Do When Youre Tempted to Buy Lets say youre in the mall or at the Electronics Emporium. Theres nothing you need to buy, but youre killing time while your spouse finishes an errand. As you wait, you browse. You admire the Thneeds. Look! Theres a new one! Its bright and shiny and you think it will make you happy, so you pick it up, walk to the register to purchase it. Wait! Before you buy, think about the following questions: When will I use this? When you buy compulsively, when you spend on impulse, you tend to acquire a lot of stuff you never use. Look around your home. Do you have unopened CDs or DVDs? Unread books? Unplayed videogames? Do you have clothes that still sport their price tags? Do you have a collection of money-saving gadgets gathering dust in your closets and kitchen drawers? Before you buy something new, ask yourself when youll actually use it and be honest with yourself.Do I have another one like this already? If so, whats wrong with the old one? I use this question in a variety of situations, especially when Im tempted to buy clothes. Kim gets frustrated with my tendency to acquire new t-shirts, for example. You already have five blue t-shirts, she told me recently. Why do you need another? This is also a great question to ask when faced with the urge to upgrade. Do you really need to replace your iPhone?If I buy this, where will I put it? Its surprising how often this question prevents me from buying something new. For the past few years, Ive had limited space to store stuff. First, Kim and I were on the road in an RV with no storage. Next, we moved to a smaller house. If I force myself to think about where Ill store whatever it is that tempts me, thats often enough to make me decide not to buy it.If I buy this, can I pay cash? Would I pay cash for this? When I was in debt, I bought almost everything on credit. I figured I could pay for it later. All of my cash went to pay my credit card bills. I was dumb. Ive since realized that if something isnt worth saving for, if its not worth buying with cash, then its almost certainly not worth buying on credit.Can I buy a good-quality used version for less? I used to be a new snob. I believed that things were only worth buying if I could have them in new, pristine condition. Now I know that great deals can be had on gently used items. This is true of cars, of course, but its also true of games, electronics, clothing, and more. Make a habit of checking Craigslist first and taking a look at your local thrift store.Do I know anyone who already owns one I can borrow? I overheard a story the other day. Evan was preparing for some yardwork and making an inventory of his tools. He decided he wanted a chainsaw. He called his friend Lee to ask for advice on which one to buy. Why do you want to buy a chainsaw? Lee asked. Do you have a lot of trees to clear? Evan admitted that he did not. Then why dont you just borrow mine? Lee asked. When done respectfully, borrowing is a great alternative to buying new.Can I wait to buy this? One of the best things Ive done to fight my shopping addiction is to teach myself to wait. For the past decade, Ive used the afore-mentioned 30-day rule. When I find myself in the Electronics Emporium holding the latest game for the Nintendo Switch, I put it back and tell myself that I can buy it in 30 days if I still want it. The key is to make yourself wait to make a purchase, to not give in to your desire to buy in the moment.Why do I want to buy this? And why do I want to buy it today? Its true that many times Im inclined to buy something because it would fill a need in my life. But just as often I find myself wanting to buy things because Ive recently seen an ad. Or, worse, a friend has shown me some cool new gadget. In these cases, Im not filling an ongoing need; Im simply trying to fill a sense of lack created by comparing myself with others. If I can figure out why I have the urge to buy something, I can sometimes make the urge go away.Are there better options available? This is a great question to trick myself into taking more time. If I find myself browsing Amazon tempted to buy a compound miter saw, for example, I can sometimes talk myself out of it by realizing that I have no idea whether this compound miter saw is the best model. Instead, I go research compound miter saws (or whatever) via Consumer Reports and online review sites. I try to find the best option. Most of the time, the process gets overwhelming: There are so many compound miter saws with so many different features! I lose interest and I save myself some money.What would my partner say if I bought this? Kim isnt opposed to everything I buy, but shes often able to detect compulsive spending when I cannot. Sometimes if Im tempted buy a new toy, I try to put myself in her shoes, to view the purchase through her eyes. If, from her perspective, the purchase seems reasonable, then I consider it. But it looks foolish, I often change my mind. Ive used all of these questions to learn to control my shopping addiction. I dont ask myself all of these questions every time I shop. Each is useful in certain situations. And these questions dont stop all of my purchases. But Ive found that if I give myself honest answers, they can prevent a lot of spending. Additional Resources For more information on coping with compulsive spending and shopping addiction, explore the following web sites: Finally, consider seeking professional help. There is no shame in obtaining psychotherapy for problems that seem bigger than you. Ultimately you must look inward to overcome any form of addiction a therapist is like a trained guide who can help you find the way. The good news is you can overcome this. You can break free from emotional spending. The bad news is that it takes work. It wont happen overnight. Youll make mistakes, and youll backslide. When you do, dont give up. Dont beat yourself up because you bought a new purse or played a round of golf at the new course. Youre human. Keep focused on your long-term goal, and resolve to do better next time. [embedded content] https://www.getrichslowly.org/shopping-addiction/