#dentists amiright?

[just-jokes]

Hey, I snapped mine in half too! In a waterslide mishap, even. Thank goodness for full crowns, amiright?

(Also, a warning: even the best crown can break if you grind your teeth a lot, as I learned the hard way recently. If you grind your teeth in your sleep, consider asking your dentist about getting a mouthguard!)

I fell down the stairs when I was a kid(like actually) and broke my permanent front teeth. Thanks to modern dentistry they filled it out and I don’t have to walk around looking like a shark!

[inkblot-inc]

For the Jaws au, maybe Jaws first visit to the dentist? Like I just picture Wanda and Nat talking to the dentist, explaining they just want Jaws’ teeth check cause they never had any kind of checkup. Meanwhile the dentist is staring behind them at Jaws who is grinning at them with all their sharp teeth showing.

This was a fun one to write

Now, Wanda and Nat are people with common sense, so they’re not going to a run of the mill dentist for Jaws of all people… That and they already tried one and they refused outright when they saw Jaws’ pointy grill, so they decided to go for a specialist.

“So…You just want a standard checkup, is that right?” The specialist, Dr. Kirkland hadn't taken their eyes off of Jaws since they signed into the office. She had been informed of Jaws’ mutation beforehand, but that doesn’t really prepare you to see the real thing up close.

Natasha looked up from one of the dental posters that was hanging on one of the walls. “Yes, just to be sure everything’s healthy. Make sure there’s nothing damaged. They’re a bit of an abnormality as far as patients go, for sure, but since we heard that you’re one of the best dental specialists in the area could you take a look?”

Dr. Kirkland slowly nodded. ‘I’m glad I took a minor in marine biology…’

---Bonus---

Honestly, it wasn’t all that bad. There was a fear at first that Jaws would cut her with how sharp their teeth are, but both Wanda and Natasha assured that that wouldn’t be an issue. 

So there was a standard checkup, Jaws doesn’t have much crowding, no tooth decay or cavities (on account of their teeth and jaws being reinforced by adamantium and consistently drinking saltwater) Though there were bristles from their previous toothbrushes that were stuck in certain places that needed to be removed.

For Jaws, it was weird at first having a stranger poking around in their mouth, but Wanda and Nat largely kept their mind off of it.

With the general checkup done, Dr. Kirkland gave Jaws a professional tooth cleaning and gave a prescription for some specific fluoride toothpaste for them to use as well as some recommendations for toothbrushes with reinforced firm bristles.

“Should I also include a prescription for a mouthguard, or?” The specialist looked up from her papers.

Natasha and Wanda looked at each other, and then at Jaws. “I mean they haven’t split their mouth open in their sleep, so I think they should be fine,” 

In the end, all parties left relieved. It was actually pretty interesting for Dr. Kirkland to get an up close look at serrated teeth and everything, so she approved of becoming Jaws’ dental doctor for the foreseeable future.

Jaws left the dental specialist with pearly whites and a lollipop that day.

[braceletofteeth]

》When I'm next to you.

[chickadeesplit]

“I’ve got my life together” I say. Lol. My enamel is flaking off on my upper front teeth. Not sure if caused by sucking lemons in that part of my mouth four times a day (I don’t) or a developmental issue but these four specific teeth have caused trouble ever since they grew in. Just finally getting noticed, according to my new dentist. Rest of my teeth are not great because I’ve never been consistent with brushing but these four are weird, he said.

So, uh. I’m going to. Hibernate for a few days until the shock wears off, then thank whatever deities are listening that I’m still on my parent’s insurance. It’s like a $3000 bill even with insurance so I have to split it over two years and won’t be good until at least january. On the bright side of things I probably won’t need four root canals as well. Then when this is all over it can’t get worse amiright </3

I understand getting upset lol because I keep saying I’m going to write more and then falling apart and going on hiatus. I promise I really am trying. But leave if you feel like it, or stay for an update when it comes because I don’t think I post often enough to be annoying. This isn’t going to mean no updates until they’re fixed ‘cause life moves on ofc just letting you know my latest breakdown ~

[femboycloudstrife]

i have possibly 4 wisdom teeth coming in all at once rn . im seeing a dentist on monday but boy oh boy what a time for wisdom tooth surgery amiright ladies 

[lovely-menza]

I heard Clapton went just before shooting the Strange Brew video to the dentist and thats why his lip looks so weird there 😂😂 sorry hard to share this i dunno if you know anything about this 😂

Oh, I haven't heard about that thing! I just thought Eric was really bad at lipsync (he kind of is) + he always does those weird expressions while playing amiright? like I got used to that at this point... but it seems like so, having a sweet tooth and Savoy Truffle being released the year after that lol

[supernova-official-blog]

shit zara says n does

the golden maknae amiright?

don’t test her,, she can literally do anything and everything she sets her mind to

once seth dared her to go on a rollercoaster just after they ate and this girl actually did it

since she’s the youngest one in supernova, she loooves when others are younger than her and call her unnie och noona it’s borderline a kink lmaoo

out of all the foreigners in the group zara’s korean is probably the worst,, once when she was on a variety show she accidentally said that it was boring hahah

“idk u choose”

obsessed with keeping her teeth clean and pearly white,, also wanted to be a dentist when she was younger

“do u want to borrow my dental floss?”

the biggest perfectionist omggg,, the amount of times she had cried bc she felt like she wasn’t good enough omg this bby

“you’re my greatest friend!!!!” *says this to 10+ people every day*

zara: h- anyone n everyone: what am I gonna do? say no?

she always puts her hand on the back of the person she’s walking next to

“weren’t they so nice?” - zara every time someone confuses her niceness as flirting and flirt back

*eye smiles for daaaays*

“see, i really have to do this thing but why don’t i just not do it now and reorganize my room!”

“can u take a pic of me?” ”imma pose and u snap a pic ok?” ”this is such a cute background!!! take a pic of me”

the type of person that if she sees that you’re alone or uncomfortable she’ll approach you and make you feel like you’ve known her for ages

*checks for the 100th if the door is closed and spoiler it is* ”i’m just gonna check if i locked the door”

after you hang out she will text or call to make sure that you got home safe :’)))

[nandorscloak]

Sean saw that Laszlo was only out at night and probably thought “that guy’s got a nightshift, sure, but look at that- he still finds the time to take care of his yard. And he and the wife still make time to go on little strolls together every morning before the sun comes up, now that’s a healthy relationship. And that little dude- he always makes sure to bring our cans in when I forget, and I always see him in the window playing chess with his boyfriend. The other guy’s a bit boring but hey, he’s better than a dentist amiright? Anyways, they’re good neighbors. I should ask them over for a beer sometime.”

I like that Sean took one look at his neighbors and saw a weird collection of goths, two of whom are apparently pansexual hedonists in an open relationship and two who are in some kinky 24/7 power exchange dynamic where one calls the other "master" all the time, plus Colin Robinson (and he can only imagine what that guy's deal is because it's always the straight-laced ones isn't it so he must some how be even wilder than the other four),

and he just thought "yeah I'm gonna befriend those people I only see at night and invite them to parties and anniversary vacations"

[ifeellikeabeanie]

Alphabet tag

Thank you @decafgrace ! You're a sweetheart

A. Age? 14

B. Birthplace? Somewhere in Missouri

C. Current Time? 2:10 pm

D. Last drink you had? A NICE COLD GLASS OF WATER

E. Easiest person to talk to? I don't really talk to anyone. My family doesn't get it and I don't wanna burden anyone

F. Favorite songs? Literally any musical and all queen songs. But also right now really feeling thanks my seventeen

G. Grossest memory? Last month I slipped and almost hurt a cat. I'm disgusting

H. Horror yes or horror no? I'd like to say yes but I'm the biggest scaredy cat. A few days ago my sister told me the name of a scary movie and I had to call my mom

I. In Love? Nope

J. Jealous of people? Sometimes

K. Kids of your own one day? Maybe idk man

L. Love at first sight? OF COURSE

M. Middle name? Maureen ruth

N. Number of siblings? 5

O. One wish? To be apart of someone's plans

P. Person you last called? My sister to tell her about lettuce on my taco

Q. Question you always get asked? YOURE NOT 20???? Early puberty isn't fun

R. Random fact about you? I physically can't do sideways splits because of my hips

S. Song you last sang? A horrible attempt at say my name by ateez

T. Time you woke up? Like 8

U. Ultimate favorite colors? Blue and then purple and orange but only together

V. Vacation destination? Anywhere with a beach

W. Worst habit? GOTTA BOUNCE THAT LEG AMIRIGHT?

X. X-ray? When I go to the dentist but I think that's it

Y. Your favorite food? Literally mayonnaise

Z. Zodiac sign? Gemini and it shows man it shows

Okay I tag @seungminshoneyvocals @jungkookssistan @weetaliix and anyone else who want to

[momobunniisims]

The A-Z Tag (That has issues)

I was tagged by the gorgeous @sandy-sims @ohnikkinikki @ciruelabob @dank-owski😗💗 thank youuu~ 

a / age: …19 Please don’t ever ask this again because soon I will say I’m..20 eughh b / biggest fear: SPIDERS!!…and also failure, and not being able to live the life you want, and people hating me, and animal print. 😅 c / current time: 11:44 am (Eating breakfast🍳)  d / drink you had last: Sunny D!!!�� e / everyday starts with: If it’s a weekend I get up smiling. If it’s a weekday I would normally cry before going off to school. :^) f / favourite song: I have a lot v.v So I can’t decide. But anything by Sampha, Tom Misch, SBTRKT, Little Dragon, Petit Bisquit, etc.♫♪ g / ghosts are real?: IbelieveIbelieveIbelieveIbelieve I swear I saw one when I was like 9 👻 h / hometown: The sorrowful California…but I prefer my Mum’s womb because I like it better 😎 i / in love with: 😍😍😍Chris Evans, Ryan Reynolds, Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Drew Barrymore, Jim Carrey, Will Smith, Toby Maguire, Daniel Radcliffe, Nicholas Hoult Chocolate, traveling, shall i go on? j / jealous of: Peeps who have their life planned and set. I am stuck in my own indesisiveness! And who are confident! k / killed someone: XD I love how this is just casually a question like sure who hasn’t 💀 l / last time you cried: This morning. I stumbed my toe…it was a wittle tear😧 n / number of siblings: I am the only child!!!👌👌 o / one wish: To be happy all the time because whatever happens, at least I’m happy. Amiright. p / person you last called/texted: Mah best frands 👫👭 q / questions you’re always asked: “Why are you always so happy/bubbly?” “I bet your spoiled if you’re the only child.” And that is so not true!!!…sometimes s / song last sang: Lol this doesn’t count! I was singing the alphabet a while ago because of this tag. u / underwear colour: <.< whose asking 👀…pink</p>

v / vacation destination: ENGLAND AND PARIS AND NEW YORK🛫🛬

w / worst habit: Over thinking like a maniac and being my worst enemy

x / xrays you have had: Quite a few. Mostly because of doctors and dentists appointments. But a major one I had was fracturing my leg due to getting hit by a car!👯🚗😄 y / your favourite food:  Pasta, Rice, Orange Chicken, Noodles, Brocolli, Did I say Pasta??!!!! z / zodiac sign: Libra baby *In Austin powers voice*

I will tag in alpabetical order: @keeksim @lemonlimesims @pxelmango @wyattssims  

[maivac]

The signs and braces

Aries: Perfect teeth, usually they don’t need it.

Taurus: Waits until they are done with their braces so they can eat normal again.

Gemini: Always complaining about braces and giving advice to the people with them like they were born with them.

Cancer: “Oh shoot, try not to eat chewing gum, it’s gross.”

Leo: You don’t notice they have braces until they tell you.

Virgo: Has that thing that is all around the head like Darla from Finding Nemo™.

Libra: Y O L O amiright.

Scorpio: Cried when the dentist said that they should wear braces.

Saggitarius: Like Libra, but hardcore.

Capricorn: They were born with perfect teeth they do not need one / The wore braces for 12 years now because a demon possessed their mouth.

Aquarius: #naturalteeth4life

Pisces: Think they look horrible and don’t laugh or talk for weeks.

[aprillikesthings]

Things that are terrifying, in no particular order:

Pain

Being Judged by the dentist for waiting this long D:

Having no idea how bad my mouth actually is, especially considering I had four unfilled cavities and they wanted to do surgery on my gums in 2005 (for that matter, the cavity that hurts right now? Yeah that tooth already has a filling, that I got when I was eight. Eight. There's a mercury amalgam filling in there right now. From 1988.)

Having no idea how much anything will cost even with insurance, they certainly don't have prices listed online anywhere, lol fuck you amiright?

Pain, did I mention pain? (If they let me pay extra just to have nitrous and/or valium on top of whatever they inject into my face I am paying for it, fuck it.)

Me: sets aside multiple thousands of dollars from tax returns and stimulant pandemic checks with the idea of going to the dentist for the first time since 2005 and finally getting All The Mouth Things Fixed once the dentist is open for non-emergencies again

Also me: oh shit plane tickets to Iceland are cheap rn?

Also me: yes I’d love to join the polycule on a trip to Germany for Christmas! I can pay for that plane ticket!

Also me, yesterday: yay I’m finally going to have new, unscratched glasses! Two pairs! With nicer lenses! And more contacts for days when I want those! It’s kind of a lot of money but worth it!

Also me, last night: oh my god the cavity in one tooth is killing me. I can’t sleep half from pain and half from PANIC. I am the dumbest motherfucker on earth—

[funnynewsheadlines]

This Skeleton’s Instagram Account Mocks Basic Girls, And The Comments Are To Die For

When it comes to being basic, there is one Instagram account you can count on. From pumpkin spice lattes to flower headbands, Skellie is the only social media influencer that you need to follow to get your daily dose of basicness. An actual skeleton hilariously mocks the same photos every girl shares on her Instagram feed, and that’s not all, her comments are also sooo #relatable.

It’s not the first time the Instagram account omgliterallydead made us laugh, check our previous post about what it’s like to be the cutest and the most basic girl ever.

So if you ever decide to create an Instagram account that sums up every single girly profile there is, make sure you take inspiration from Skellie, because when it comes to being basic, she’s got it all figured out.

Scroll down to see Skellie’s amazing Instagramming skills for yourself, and don’t forget to upvote your favorites!

More info: Instagram

basic girl skeleton

#ootd nothing but knee highs. Whoops #tinderprofilepic #swiperight #kneehighsonpoint #sorrynotsorry #sexyskellie

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

OMG so many shots last night, what did I do?! Other than this guy @sltcartwright LOL! #shouldiwakehim #singlelife #socute #dontmakeaboningjoke #lol #gotboned

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Lash game strong today! #lashgamestrong #lashgameonpoint #lashgameonfleek #lashesonpoint

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Morning Yoga!! #yoga #yogaselfie #betterthancoffee #jk

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Look who’s in NYC!! This city is giving me life! #bigapple #nyc #iheartnewyork #cityoflights

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

I know it’s not February yet, but Valentine’s Day is coming and I literally can’t wait!! #getready4thethirst #boudoir #bedofroses

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Skelfie at the dentist! Zero cavities as per usual – my floss game is on point! #dentistoffice #skelfie

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Literally wearing a million layers and my blanket as a scarf and I’m still freezing to death in this apartment. Ugh. Would legit kill for a hot chocolate. #nowhip #skelfie #blanketscarf #highfashion #couture

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Round two’!!! #shotsshotsshots #FRIYAY

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Last day by the pool. Soaking it all in! #Florida #SprangBreak

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Literally can’t with this Monday. #mirrorskelfie #iwokeuplikethis #sportsteamwonatsportslastnight

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Literally can’t find a single thing in here. #blessthismess

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Look what I found in my closet!! #tbt to @laurenlynn19’s 21st Bday!! OMFG We look 12! LOL literally screaming rn!! #memories

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Working hard or hardly working, amiright?! #classicTV #slacking #FridayJR #cantwaitfortheweekend

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

I literally can’t with this “I can’t even” mug from @keep! The perfect vessel for my organic lychee mint green detox ethical cleanse tea. ☕️

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Totally channeling my 90s bad b**ch today because it’s Friyay and I just don’t give AF. #keepitcasual #vintageflannel

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

#latergram from yesterday! I love tobogganing!! Only wiped out a few times and my bones are a little sore this morning – pretty sure nothing is broken tho – totes worth it.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

It’s like, negative bijillion out and I’m f**king freezing to death. #brr #longwinter #wintersurvival

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

BRB, dedicating my life to making fetch happen! #MeanGirls #fetch

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Coworker came by my desk littered with coffee cups like “It’s only Tuesday”. He’s cute so it’s okay tho. Besides, I gotta get my boost! #officelife

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

When you expect to be brought up but instead you’re dragged down. As if Monday’s aren’t bad enough….I don’t want to talk about it. #sad

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Totally missing New York. #letsgoback #skelfie #crazybonezskeleton

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Satisfying my sweet tooth with the prettiest treats in the universe! #macarons #treschic #pastel

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

M GIVING IT ALL UP AND BECOMING A CAT LADY. I don’t care if my roommate is “deathly allergic” – get over yourself!

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Winter has my bones feeling like icicles – thank the universe for hot tubs, amiright?!? #hottub #hottubin

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

#TBT to when I broke the Internet. #breaktheinternet #throwbackthursday #gotdatbooty

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

The peeps at @steamwhistlebrewing keep saying “go home Skellie you’re drunk” whatever I’m a brewery tour don’t tell me how to live!! #stpatrickscray #dateme if u drunk if Irish you were drunk if you’re a cat

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Sunday Funday! These waffles are to die for. @starving4waffle has killed me DEAD. #brunch #brunchwithbaes

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Watch out Cara Delevingne – these eyebrows on fleek! #tbt

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

#friendshipcircle my sock game is on point rn! ✌️#footcardigan

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Halloween? Christmas? Communicating with your lost son? I know you are probably paying attention to my Joyce Byers inspired wall, but the real point of this photo is to showcase how you too, can seamlessly transition into a fall wardrobe with a classic bomber jacket. #beautifulforallseasons #strangerthings

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

I am the Pizza Queen . Bow down peasants. #lol #pizzaislife

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Landed in sunny FLORIDA! This b**ch is gonna get a tan ✌️ #florida #springvacay

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

My egg hunting steeze is on fleek. #ootd #pastel #pastelprincess

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Chillin’ poolside, catching some rays, and drinking some suds. This is the life! #skelfie #poolside #Florida

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Literally dying over #orangeisthenewblack season 3! So obsessed, I may have decked out my place to look just like Piper’s bunk….w/e you WISH you were this dedicated. #oitnb

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

I think Spring is in bloom double tap if you’re loving all the #tulips on your feed rn. Tag a bae who #lovestulips. #spring #happy

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

A girl can dream #putaringonit #dateme #singlelady #diamondsareagirlsbestfriend

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Sunset skelfie. Wow. So beautiful. Can’t get over this sunset. Much beauty. #imbeautifultoo #artsy #sunsetskelfie #givesmelife

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Autumn flower crown because I’m a queen. #tbt #ootd #queenskellie

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

It’s not a Sunday unless you’ve spent it wearing your blanket as a cape and eating homemade cookies (that someone else made). #sundayfunday

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

My girl @kellieapril keeping me lookin fresh! I love a good blow-out!! Double tap if Saturday’s are your salon days! #youfancyhuh

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Back in not-so-sunny Toronto. After being spoiled for 4 days, I’m literally dying without my vitamin-D. #someonegivemethed #whatseasonisthis

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Long day at work, so I’m meditating. Can’t turn my brain off though – all I can think about is Kylie Jenner’s lips. #jealous #sohotrightnow #howdoesshedoit #butactually #needclarity

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

St. Paddy’s Cray!! Riding the production line on my @steamwhistlebrewing tour – you know a hot guy is gonna have to inspect me ;)

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

I’m at Couchella. Where’s Kendall?

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

I may die of allergies, but f**k it, SPRING HAS SPRUNG! #achoo

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

#ootd denim and plaid aka the “attract a lumbersexual” uniform #dateme

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Rainy Saturday getting my thrift on #vintage #thrift

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Took a stealth-ie to show off these hot lumbersexual bartenders.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

So excited to be covering #NYFW for @stylecaster today!! LOOK AT ALL THESE CLOTHES AND ITS NOT EVEN NOON!

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

#TBT to my girl’s 21st Bday! A night to sort-of remember! @laurenlynn19 #throwback

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Monday, amiright?! #namastayinbed

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

When you’re hungover as f**k, but still need a selfie.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Oops, too late! Lol, Florida has the weirdest laws.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

#ootd dressed to depress #meta

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

“How come every time you come around, my Brooklyn, Brooklyn Bridge wanna go down” #brooklybaes

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Gloomy Monday playing some #acoustic #TaylorSwift. #ShakeItOff.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Can anybody be loving life more than me right now? Beach, pink umbrellas, and a magnum of wine.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

It’s only Tuesday and I already can’t even with this week. Double tap if you feel me.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Park date with my baes! Love when we have #qualitytime! ☀️

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Mood: dying from either a terrible case of the Mondays or the most epic hangover ever. #whydididrinkonasunday

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

When your squad forgets to tell you they’re coordinating. #oops #FitzroyadidasFallPopUp

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

I’m literally going to die this is so good! Banana Nut Muffin and Freddoccino – both made with #NUTELLA.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Stocking up on that vegan gluten free kale! #kalechips

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Lol fall into fall! #autumnselfie #autumnleaves #fall2015

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Summertime, and the livin’ is easy.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Y’all know when it starts to get chilly out, I like to warm up with a sexy steam.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

#tbt snow angels by ur bb angel (ps snow: I DO NOT MISS YOU ) #throwbackthursday

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Important hump-day reminder for my baes! If your daydreams are all about Magic Mike, DREAM BIG.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Happy Birth-yay to my favourite pink pastel unicorn watermelon bb-beachy-bae!!

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Omg died and went to shoe heaven

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

I know it’s only Tuesday but I’m a rebel! #tbt to having a time in Florida.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Pumpkin spice pumpkin seeds for National Pumpkin Day! #saypumpkinagain #pumpkinspicelife

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

I’m on a boat. Lol.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

How I’m surviving this morning’s hangover.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

One of my 2017 resolutions is to partake in more self care rituals, especially on Mondays. #notleavingthetub #soothing

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Don’t worry boys, it doesn’t take me THAT long to get ready in the morning. #eyeroll #iwokeuplikethis

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Nothing says “last days of summer” like a cotton candy fuelled trip to the CNE!

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Omg isn’t my tree so cute?!

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Nothing says avocado toast like fresh avocados.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

#tbt to that time I ate all the veggie sushi in Toronto.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Ugh, can you die from a candy hangover?!

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Started from the bottom now I’m here.

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

I’m having a picnic on a picnic blanket with hand picked fresh gluten free vegan fair trade berries and sparkling wine!!

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

I woke up like this! (But I’m not going to work w/o my bronzer)

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

Living that millennial pink life

Image credits: omgliterallydead

basic girl skeleton

DONT YOU JUST LIVE FOR BERRY PICKING IN THE SUMMER?!? I CANT WAIT FOR APPLE PICKING IN THE FALL!!! AND TO PICK MY OWN PUMPKIN AND PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES!!!!!! I LOVE NATURE OMG

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basic girl skeleton

Lol I’m just a girl who loves pizza

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basic girl skeleton

Cold winter nights are for organic loose-leaf chamomile, taking up journaling and letting your inspirational quote mug guide you towards enlightenment. ☕️

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basic girl skeleton

TGIF: thank goddess it’s Friday! Number one thing I’m looking forward to this weekend: BRUNCH. Duh.

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basic girl skeleton

An ode to coffee is as cliché as you can get on Instagram, however, I am truly a supporter of the power of caffeine. Once, I tried to go coffee-free during an end of season sale and ended up buying a poly-blend sweater that I totally believed was cashmere. So take this as a cautionary tale.

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basic girl skeleton

Someone once said to me, “Skellie, you just can’t pull off a pink knitted hat with your bone structure,” and then I sent them this photo. #living

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basic girl skeleton

Hi honeys!! It’s sunny and I’m absolutely living for this weather

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basic girl skeleton

Even my brunch is on brand #pinkeggsbennyftw

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basic girl skeleton

’tis the season! Skinny Peppermint Mochas until Christmas for this girl!!

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basic girl skeleton

Ugh, #Starbucks barista fails again! It’s Skellie, idiots. #starbucksfail #psl #whothehellisskully

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basic girl skeleton

Work #selfie. Working hard or hardly working, amirite?! #hardlyworking #worklife #pumpkinspice

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[pansytheleia]

@thiswaitingheart tagged me in a slew of things I don’t even know how to reply to??? Hoboy. This wasn't supposed to go up i wanted to put that in the drafts

1. Which is the most boring play you’ve ever read/seen (and why)?

Read: Goethe’s Torquato Tasso, no aard post would be complete without Wolfi bashing also I don’t remember most about it apart from Italy is great?

Read: Tieck’s Der Blonde Eckbert, which was just jucky

Seen: An all female rendition of Die Räuber. It’s generally one of my favourite plays but it was just so overacted and cringeworthy. It was so … cliché feminism we all hate men - like and the characters were basically reduced to tropes?

2. In the position of (Goethe’s) Faust, would you have drunk the poison?

Faust is like my least favourite character in anything, ever, so chuck the poison all the way down.

3. Do you consider writing in books a crime?

In some, certainly. I do like a good Ex Libris (even though I keep forgetting them) or noting where and when I got books (and who gave them to me. Or write something nice for another person. You know). I do also write in my uni books a lot- but i guess I would never write in very valuable books like my Kosmos… also y’all should see my Manöver which is hanging from the threads.

4. Make a playlist for a character

UGH. I’m bad at those, I’ll leave it to Fif. She makes the best.

5. Which topic/event (historical or otherwise) needs to be turned into a play, movie or TV show?

First of all, das Manöver OBVIOUSLY and we can all agree on that. Maybe even get Robert Löhr himself to adapt it? Yes? No? Yes?

Second, probably a better movie/series set during some European Revolution 1848. I certainly have no preference as to where, just make it less of a sausage-fest, because historically, a woman’s place has and will always be in the reolution. There were so many kickass women but no, let’s just include all the guys… girls are way too scared amIright???? But, like, has anyone of you seen Rebellion on Netflix? Like that, only in 1848.

6. Which Shakespeare character absolutely needs to die (or stay dead)?

I have… never really read a lot of Shakespeare…. to be honest. I read Mac Beth and that’s about it. So I am in no position to answer this.

7. The ideal filming location for your favourite book?

Where they happened, so der Brocken and, I don’t know, some European city.

8. Intertextuality - yay or nay?

I’m just a wee dentist so I have no clue about Literature and such? So, idk, maybe? I do remember hearing about it in French Literature during my first uni term and it made sense in a way - so yay I guess. 

9. An underappreciated poet?

Caroline von Günderrode. Especially we in our tiny lit fandom mostly focus on Goethe and Schiller and Kleist and all the men but there were so many great women. (And I’m all about great women)

10. Which fictional outfit would you totally steal?

Fictional I don’t really have an idea? I don’t remember anyone being dressed in a kickass way, mainly because I mostly only read urban fantasy and classics… but historically … Where do I even start? I want a 95th rifles coat because they are amazing, secondly the 1866 orange Worth Gown. You know the one. I don’t have a place to wear it to or will fit it but it is gorgeous. That floral sheer summer dress ca 1860s I had in my likes but can’t find it- … I’d probably just steal a lot of uniform coats.

11. Five people, real or fictional, living or dead, you would invite to a dinner party:

[cookiecuttercritter]

The Tooth-Puller

Summary: Rated PG for ‘Pitiful Grammar’ and ‘Possibly Gory’ 

Genre: ^^ that’s all you need to know. 

Notes: I’m open to feedback! Let me know if you spotted anything I could work on, I wanna get better!

Prologue

Mr Dennis said we don't know how Ana’s Sedics work. But we know what they do. He said it makes it okay, okay to hurt people. I ask him, does he hurt people? He said it's okay to hurt them if they don't feel it. If it's for their own good. Even if they don't know it.

The Tooth-Puller

It’s cold here. She keeps her bedroom cold. And dark. I don't think she is afraid of the dark. Grown-ups are not be afraid of the dark.

She is sleeping on the bed and her hair is not nice.

She must be tired.

I take the needle out of her arm. A little blood comes out.

Mr Dennis gave me two pills and the needle. One makes her slow. One helps her sleep. The needle is to stop her heart. I ask him, what does that feel like? He says nobody knows. I don't want to know what it is like because the needle is sharp.

Mr Dennis gives me such nice things.

He says it's an Ana's Sedics. He says, to make them feel nothing and know nothing. They'll be in the sky and it’s very nice up there. And that's what makes it okay.

I don't know what that means but I trust Mr Dennis.

She is breathing.

She is breathing.

She is breathing still.

And then she stops.

And then it's my turn.

I climb on the bed and sit on the her neck like how the boys sit on the rocking horses and I pull her mouth open. It smells of old people parties and burnt soup and rotting meat. I take a newspapers from the bag and crunch it up and put in her mouth. She looks like that pig old people like, fat and shiny and red. The pig likes to sleep on tables with an apple in its mouth. It's a funny pig. I think it's cute.

In my bag, I have crayons and a newspapers and lunch. Where is the thing that I am looking for?

I find the Mr Dennis’ pliers. He gave them to me. They're heavy and shiny and silver. I like that they are smooth and cold but I don't like that they are too big.

I take out the flashlight and I turn it on. I turn it around and put the end of it in my mouth so I can hold it so I can see her mouth better. Now, I find her front tooth! I hold it with the pliers and squeeze with both hands.

I wiggle. Up and down and up and down. Slowly. Then faster. Then I also twist. Mr Dennis says it helps the teeth come out if you twist.

Her mouth smells of iron.

I don't want to wake her up.

I put a hand on her forehead and push down. I pull the tooth with my other hand. I try pulling harder. I dig the pliers around. I don't want to fall off.

And then the tooth pops out. There is gum and blood on it. I put it in my jar. It's red. Her dress is also red. A party dress. For adults. She looked like she was having fun. She had many friends. But I have to help Mr Dennis, who is my friend. And Mr Dennis will make me the richest, coolest, boy in the whole city!

I wish I had more friends.

I go to the next tooth. I pull all the up teeth. There's food in some of them. Her blood is everywhere. It's like she's wearing lipstick again. Did she wear lipstick earlier? My hands are wet and sticky and warm, not like the water that comes out of taps. Mr Dennis’ pliers slip on the blood on the teeth. I squeeze tighter the pliers and grit my own teeth. Blood polka dots land on to my arms. If I pull really hard, they can go to my face and the walls or even the ceiling, but I don't have to pull that hard.

I am tired. The last tooth falls in the jar. The nice lady's mouth is so red now, I can’t see it much at all. I like to look at the teeth in the jar instead. Some of them have long tails, and some of them have two tails. I would like to have a tail.

I wipe my hands and face and the pliers and jar on her sheets. I put the jar in my bag and go home.

At home, I fill the jar with the water that comes out of taps and I shake it and I drain it and I do this a few times. I'll take it to Mr Dennis in the morning.

I love the tiny bell Mr Dennis has on his door. It rings when someone wants to see him. It's small and tinkly and it’s yellow, which is my favorite color.

“Mr Dennis! Mr Dennis!” I say and I wave. His friend looks at him and whispers, “George, is that the boy?”

Mr Dennis’ smile is very white. He says, “Isaac! You have the teeth?”

“I sure do, Mr Dennis!” I give him the jar.

“Good work, Isaac.” And he goes to his files in the blue cabinet. He has a lot of files. “Ms Brennan needs an A1, and Mr Leibniz needs two C’s, and I want to hold on to these canines, these are a beauty…” His friend pours my teeth on a tray and sorts them. Mr Dennis says he has the best in-plants in the whole city. Famous people were coming from all over to get their teeth done by him because his teeth were real is-stick and he told me I could help his operation. I don't know what an operation is but I think it is something like the people coming in to looking for in-plants. Whatever those are.

“Isaac, thank you for your work. We won't be needing these.”

I hold out my hands and he gives me 24 teeth back.

Mr Dennis smiles and says, “We'll be seeing you again, same time next week, won't we, Isaac?”

And I say, “Yes, Mr Dennis!”

And I go home and I put 5 teeth under my pillow and 15 under my mattress and 4 on my stand and 5 on my windowsill. That's 24 teeth, but I don't know how many there are. I have hundreds of teeth under my mattress and a lot under my pillow and sometimes I wake up with them next to me so I know they rolled out. My stand is covered in teeth and my windowsill is also almost out of space. There are teeth on the floor. I don't know how many I lost.

It's like Mr Dennis says, I will be the richest boy in the city because I have so much teeth! The tooth fairies don't know how to collect them all yet because I have so much teeth, but when they do, I'll be the richest ever! Mr Dennis says I'll be paid extra for each tooth because the tooth fairies can tell I've been a good boy.

Epilogue

Mr Dennis holds my mouth open and looks at my teeth. My front up teeth fell out and I'm holding them in my hand. I say, “Mr Dennis, what's wrong?” And he says, “I'm afraid you're growing up. Soon, you'll find out how the world really works, and you'll have to find your own way in life.”

“But Mr Dennis! I wanna stay with you forever!”

“No, Isaac, I've hurt you for long enough. You have to run away from here and never come back. If you come back, they will catch you, ok?”

“Who is they?”

“The bad guys. We're the good guys, right, Isaac?”

“Yeah.”

He is quiet.

I say, “What if you need my help in the operation? Is there anything I can do?”

“...Well, there is one last thing you could do for me. You could tell me if you know any young children like yourself. They have to be smart and strong. They need to be able to follow instructions and they're good with their hands, like you. Do you know anyone like that, Isaac? Tell me, it could be your last gift to me.”

I think for a while. I don't want to go but if I have to, I will help Mr Dennis first, one last time. "I know a girl. My friend has a little sister and I think she would like you.”