#demisexual sounds like exactly what i feel i just idk. am i still in this category if i enjoy porn/sex

[littlegoldfinchh]

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[winter-spark]

Okay, so for Juza celebration week day 3, I'm gonna discuss some Juza ships and the questions of who's more fun to see pining, who fell first, who fell harder. (I hope this counts lol. The prompt is favorite relationships and I could instead talk about his friendship with Omi or Sakyo or something but here I am choosing to go the shipper's route instead lol.)

Before I start, I do want to say I sorta see Juza as demi. Demiromatic, demisexual? Both? Maybe. One of them? Definitely. Is this important for the post? Well, I'm not posting anything else this week so my headcanon has to go somewhere. Also yes. because this is a ships post. Read: not really but still.

Okay first up Juban:

For Juban it is obviously pining!Banri. I think also it's definitely a Banri fell first, Banri fell harder situation. I'm sorry I don't make the rules I just follow the feelings. Like, Juza is just trying to vibe and eat his food Banri, get up lol. I think in this case Juza's not pining lowkey because he'd rather not think about it. Like why think about how they'd be as a couple when a confession would make him want to cut his tongue out. Well, maybe not his tongue because boy's gotta eat but like a confession to Banri? That would never make his to-do list. I fully heartedly believe that whenever he realized he liked Banri he imagined Banri laughing at him and locked it up. Not that the feelings are gone but like he's filed it away as 'no' or 'never gonna happen' so he's content. (So kinda like Muku but a completely different vibe.) Either way, that's what is most fun to me for them. Like I'm sure pining!Juza is fun but for Juban and their canon dynamic, it's more fun to think about it as Banri just trying to attain his crush's attention and it almost working but also sorta backfiring on him, like that's just how he flirts. I wanna say "good luck getting together ya goobers" but somehow it doesn't feel impossible to me even with this set up lol. Like I dunno exactly how for suresies, I just know it's plausible. Right now I'm thinking either they'd fall into a relationship like it just sorta one day they're dating and nobody talks about or really adresses it until like months later OR sorta an argument into confession type thing, like maybe one of them is being sorta annoying (out of concern or something but whichever on of them it is he's not gonna say it at first) and they end up in an arguement about whatever it is and then the other is like "why do you even care?" and I'm not a great writer but like then either comes in a flat out confession of sorts or it's bit more arguing that like lowkey forces em into a confession. (I have one more alt but that's bcuz it was a chat post that I could see being them and I might just post it as a chat post some day. idk we'll see.)

Okay so, I'll be honest I'm not sure I'm knowledgeable enough on other Juza ships but I do want to consider two more because I'm curious. I'm not fully sure I ship them but I think the possibility is interesting. So yea I'll literally be typing those as I think. (the previous section was kinda like that but it was originally barely coherent tags for another post lol)

Next up, Tenma & Juza:

(I'm not especially sure I actually ship them so much as a couple of weeks or so ago I read their card bonus story thing (cross backstage?) and thus I'm curious as to see them a bit more.) So, lol this is gonna sound repetitive but I do think pining!Tenma/Tenma fell first is more fun to think about because I think based on that short and Tenma being like "I don't/didn't need your help but I'm going to help you out because I don't want to owe you anything which I sorta already don't because I didn't ask for your help" can very easily be translated to "It's not like I like you or anything" in a romantic reading of their relationship. Like I sorta imagine it as Tenma trying to do nice things for Juza but always having/giving a flimsy excuse for why he's doing it. And the moment Juza is like nice to him back Tenma gets lowkey(but probably actually highkey) embarrassed. And I think it'd be funny if Tenma convinces himself that his crush on Juza is actually Juza having a crush on him because "of course, he has a crush on me, that's not a foreign thing for me, people get crushes on me all the time" Yuki: "What are you muttering about? It's breaking my concentration." I'll be honest I'm not entirely sure who would fall harder(at this rate it's likely it'd probably be Tenma ngl but it could be Juza idk), regardless I do think Juza probably really admires Tenma and his acting and he probably has a decently easy time telling him that and the following interaction would be something like: Tenma(probably somewhat embarrassed): Well of course you do, don't you know who I am? Juza: ??? Yea? That's why I'm talking you??? Summer Troupe: lol! Autumn Troupe: *facepalm* Tenma: *more embarrassed* I think Juza developing a crush on Tenma in this scenario is funny because he'd probably see Tenma as a little awkward and weird but finds it somehow endearing, but it's partially because he's seeing that even someone as famous and popular as Tenma struggles to talk and get his point across to people at times, or maybe that's just a bonus. Either way, Juza is very willing to take the time to understand Tenma even at his most confusing because Juza has been misunderstood his whole life pretty much. Idk if this paragraph sounds right, if you guys don't think so, I'm sorry for being wrong &/or this not making sense. Update! Because I've realized that would line up more with early-on stuff. I've remembered that I've seen two comics with them interacting. One was the one where Tenma was like 'Juza let me thank you by taking you to this pancake(? it was something sweet) shop I passed by', and Juza was like 'alright let's go'. & Tenma led them to a Ramen shop like 'I coulda sworn it was here', & as they eat the noodles Tenma's like 'I'm really sorry', & Juza's like 'these are good too'. & then the other comic with them that I saw was the one where them, Tsuz & Tai were heading home from the college together getting a lot of attention from Tenma's fans and Tenma apologized and Juza was like 'Let me know if any weirdos try to mess with you' and Tenma's like 'thanks! -^^-' (which is so much growth from the cross-backstage thingy). That was their interaction there. So now I'll update the thoughts with that dynamic in mind. I mean uh I feel like that other stuff is still plausible just as they bond more, Tenma's more comfortable with flat-out showing his gratitude and joy and stuff. I feel like as a couple they'd sorta be like Tenma's the super supportive I'm gonna do a bunch for you boyf and Juza's the protective one, you know? Like Tenma would but something sweet on his way home because he feels Juza's been doing a lot and working hard, and Juza would, whenever he can, accompany Tenma home so he doesn't have to deal with being approached and so he doesn't get lost. Probably results in a lot of impromptu dates at cafes and stuff.

And lastly, Sakuya/Juza :

(Because while I know nothing about them as a pair/their dynamic and I don't quite ship them, I think they could be very cute ngl (aka I want to ship them. I mean come on they're so intrinsically similar yet so different at the same time) So for starters, this is a demi x demi ship in my head. They are both demi to me. Demiromantic or demisexual? Both? Hmm pretty sure Sakuya is demiromantic(or maybe gray-romantic) but if he's not demisexual he's definitely under the ace umbrella in my head. As for Juza, see above. Okay so to me Juza definitely fell first. (See? I do think Juza can fall first.) As for pining, I am leaning towards pining!Juza but I'm curious how pining!Sakuya would be in this dynamic in particular. Maybe I'll let these two have mutual pining. Actually yea, that could be fun. Lol how I'm imagining it now is them using their shared passion for acting to try to impress each other not realizing the other is already impressed with them. Like, if this was a mutual pining story a very "hey wanna see this play with me" & "I've been practicing this part really hard, I hope he's watching me perform" with a "oh my gosh he's so cool" type deal from both of them. It'd be very cute, in my humble opinion. Also, I sorta think it's completely plausible for them to fall equally as hard for each other. idk, I don't make the rules. More importantly, they're a pair who'd be tired in the morning because they spent all night together... practicing acting! They'd help each other practice acting a lot and probably loose complete track of time lol. (Have they had a bonding event yet? I haven't read it if so.) But like back to the falling equally hard thing I think it's just that when they both already think the other is super amazing they're both only gonna appreciate the other more once they find their footing as what they can do for each other as a couple. Like Idk. Idk. It's hard to say one of them fell harder after they literally got mutual pining when the whole point of this format was to be like 'mutual pining is fine but have you considered how fun it'd be to focus on [name] pining' they broke my format. But they were cute about it so I'll let them slide.

So yeah Happy Juza week, this has been on the three Juza ships that compel me the most currently.

Actually, the order I did them is funny because like I thought I'd have almost nothing in the Tenma section and knew I was putting pining!Tenma then pining!Juza in the Saku/Juza section so I put Tenma/Juza in the middle but now it's kinda like a sliding scale. Like Tenma/Juza is the middle ground between Banri/Juza and Sakuya/Juza. Like energy/vibe-wise you know? And that's funny to me. Also lol that I actually had a lot more to say about Juten(?) than I thought I would.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hey Dani!

Ok, this is a very weird ask and if you feel uncomfortable you don't have to answer. It's just I don't have anyone else to talk to other than my sister who is away.

So, you know I am a desi girl and most of us still have arranged marriages. Now, I don't have a problem with them but I did have a whole tearfest about how I didn't want to leave my parents' place 'cause it's my home and it's familiar and safe while I never know what married life will bring.

But lately I am wondering if there is another reason. I just don't feel interested in this marriage talk at all. In fact I feel very much trapped by it. I wondered if it's 'cause you know domestic violence or infidelity or just plain lying and what not.

Except I think there is another reason. See, I love reading romance novels or watching it but the qhole idea of sex only sounds appealing during abovementioned times, othrr than that it's more like I am filled with dread.

I just don't know if I am aroace or demisexual or greysexual. This is where my biggest confusion lies.

You know other than what am I supposed to tell my parents. I don't think they will throw me out but they sure as hell won't be able to grasp the concept.

Thank you!

P. S. I this hasn't come as anon can you please block my name when you answer?

Hello,

I'm sorry it took me a while to get to this.

I don't think you need a specific reason or even a label for yourself to decide marriage/sex/relationships are not for you. You don't need a justification. Just so you know. BUT. Having reasons help sometimes. It gives you clarity. It helps you explain your choice to others.

So, if this is something you want, then it's totally okay (and even good) to question these things.

I don't think I or anyone else can tell you whether you are asexual or what spectrum of asexuality you fit into. But I can tell you that if you are, then how you feel is valid. Even if you are not, how you feel is still valid.

Some things that might with your discovery and exploration is to read and consume media that might resonate with you. It's easier to look at someone and say 'that's exactly how i feel!' rather than to figure out 'this is how i feel'. But do keep in mind that no two people in the ace spectrum always feel the same way. but it does help!

Doing a bit of research helps. A simple 'am i asexual' will lead to so many reading material and quizzes online. Pick them wisely. Because doing everything might be overwhelming. You don't need a quiz or a cosmo article to tell you who you are. But clarity, as I said, always helps.

This can be a difficult conversation to have with parents though. Asexuality is not something a lot of desi parents understand. I personally don't agree with the 'you need to understand something yourself to explain it to others'. You don't need a label or figure everything out to tell your parents this is not something for you. You can still talk to them. Just find the right words. Express the right feelings. Or just lie. Whatever works for you, tbh. I wish you luck with it.

PS - You said you're desi. Idk which country you're from, but there a lot of queer resources in India, so I'm sharing some more local resources for you here if you want to have a look.

An insta page and FB group by Asexuals India. It's nice to have a community you can talk to :)

This desi blog on Asexuality (it's in India) but i still find the content very relatable

PS - A book rec for you if you are interested, Loveless by Alice Osman.

I hope this helps and please feel to come talk about this more if you want to 🤍

[lunar-lair]

busts down the door fuck it. off the cuff gender/sexualities headcanons for the rise boys/whoever else i decide. i havent fully considered these/written these out so it might be a hot mess have fun (its also 1 am this is your warning)

see leos a little Special. surprise trans leo is my fav thing ever so what I like to do is ambs (assigned male by splinter, he didnt know the cloacas were in different areas or to start squinting when leos shell got more concave. no i did not know those facts before surprise trans madness/my egg doc i made a whole cloth new however the fuck you say it reproductive system for this fucking turtle so he and his bunny boyfriend could have kids and i could torture him with sliders being oviparous. thank you less-depresso-more-expresso for your leo egg post in december it changed me fundamentally) -> oh . those are eggs. ok *whistling sound as he continues w his life* -> wait gender is a construct. maybe this is a gift -> genderfluidity slaps the kid in the face when theyre abt 17. also hes gay cause it feels right. so does some form of demisexual or romantic but i have a lot of opinions on how his dating life would go and how it would impact his character (rhinocio gets it if u know them. were besties u see) so i think that woudnt hit until more like 18 or smth like that maybe idk

in much more basic terms. genderfluid gay leo ftw we love a trans leo in this house. this goes whether or not you believe in Egg this kid is not cis mark my goddamn words

raph has always screamed she/he to me as she has to most people. im feeling bi. double bi also feels both very right and very funny his siblings would have a ball w that

if mikey doesnt use neopronouns whats the point. gender is a game and mikey is winning. sexuality is also a game and mikey is Still winning. goes w pan but literally would nebulously date anyone as long as they seemed cool and he liked them well enough. they and leo are shaking hands except leo is hoarding like she, he, they, and maybe a couple other neopronouns meanwhile mikey is like im everything all at once fight me abt it. so nonbinary in the everything kind of way. maybe. i have no idea what the name for this is but i know exactly the kind of vibe im talking abt

and ofc donnie is in the absolute opposite direction. he/they, more nonbinary than anything else. rise apritello star lastknownstatus-alive has allured me with aroflux donnie and considering i know like two things abt the aro and ace label existence im absolutely listening. definitely think hes on that spectrum though, it just fits. think hed look at the sexuality thing and go ...none of these are right. and then forgo it entirely. their sexuality is whoever is hot and whoever they fall in love with die abt it

this is where i say that trans man draxum means everything to me and also that man simply isnt straight nor is he allistic (i mean allo as in like hes definitely on the ace/aro spectrum and i didnt realize until rereading a while later but he is also not allistic tbf)

also splinter is bi i rest my case. pretty normal gender on that rat though, even with the gnc everything

april is so . that gender is so everything. hoarding genders like mikey but less so and also less aggressively. less everything all at once and more somethings sometimes and sometimes not other things. shes a solid inbetween of mikey and leo. my brain clocked bi but i honestly dont know why. help i dont know that many names and also i havent been in love in 4 years idk how the sexuality half of this works

also as a disclaimer we as a system (not in our bio bc Fear) identify as genderfluid (not that i know what the flag looks like . look i keep forgetting to look it up ok) but thats because its easier. a lot of us are sort of genderfluid or use multiple pronouns but remembering those gender experiences is HARD . accordingly any discussion of gender and the experience might be totally fucked bc were only so many genders bc there are so many people in this brain. ok im getting off the stepladder w my megaphone where i make separate points now onto casey

my baby my little guy. think the fam wouldve given him the opportunity to explore that stuff as much as he could in the apocalypse. im feeling he/it. thinks gender is a construct. too busy to find a label. would probably like bigender or genderfluid. kind of like mikey, technically works w pan but would date literally whoever whenever wherever as long as there was a preexisting relationship. dont tell him but hes probably demiromantic

and casey sr!!! my girl my lady! i could go either cis or transgirl on her, or even she/they or she/they/he, she does whatever she wants any day of the week. absolutely a lesbian though thats undisputed. also feeling demiro And demiace

this is your last warning that i sussed half of these out based on vibes Right Now. except for leo theyre on my mind 24/7. and mikey mikey felt patently obvious. same for donnie but only gender wise

ok im done now prommy. may or may not fuck around and make a background + oh yeah! thats me!! style fic for these guys if i feel like it. probably wont come out during pride but hey. you dont stop being gay when june ends yk. either way tada ill come back if i decide i was talking bullshit and correct myself later. bc i usually decide i was talking bullshit eventually lmao. probably partially cause im like 18 its a natural side effect of growth occuring at a faster rate due to my younger age. anyways this has been your twice annually actually long and headcanons/fun filled luna post. ill see you in like, october probably, unless i get ballsy, see you then either way lmao

[smol-grey-tea]

I was gonna write the romo attraction thing today but honestly i dont feel like doing it bc im just rlly upset about smth that im sure a lot of ppl can relate to

So my irl friend groups are very... well they dont know much about these kinds of things, i had to be a walking encyclopaedia for them about my identities like nb stuff bc they didn't bother to just... look it up.

When i told them i was trans they would say "omg are you actually trans?? I have a trans best friend!!" Yikes

Instead they would ask me to explain it. Which is fine, i kinda hate having to explain for the 5th time that no, using the correct terms and pronouns is not a fucking burden, and that yes, dysphoria is awful and wont just magically go away.

and when i tell them to yk, not use pronouns for me and just use my name instead, not 1 person did that. They just... misgendered me and used she/her when i explicitly told them that it makes me dysphoric. I then told them to use coo/coos/cooself instead bc i quite like it, but they still didnt use it.

Then i gave up and told them to use they/them since it doesnt make me dysphoric even tho i lowkey hate it. They still misgender me but said "they'll try to get used to it". Its not that hard guys what the actual fuck???

Anyway, i was actually going to talk about aspec stuff. So i only told one of them that i was demiromantic demisexual, and they said "wtf is that" which yk is not a nice way to react to someone coming out, but i have thick skin so i just explained it bc again they couldnt bother to search it, and they said "ok ig" and changed the subject when i wanted to explain my attraction???? I've never had anyone that i could talk to about my complicated feelings with being aspec and just when i thought i could i was shut down.

I thought it was over and done with, until they started to... ignore my fucking identity??? Which i would say is way more important and personal to me than my bisexuality??? They never did any of that bs with my bisexuality probably bc they were pansexual themself, but jfc is it that hard to not make jokes about me being horny or having a crush or joking about setting me up on blind dates??? It legit made me so uncomfortable and i have no idea what to say.

Bc remember, they didnt exactly respect my pronouns and kept using gendered terms to refer to me even more after i came out??? I swear it feels like its on purpose every time they called me a girl but whatever

Istg they forgot that im demi bc they keep making these jokes and ignoring that i dont feel sexual or romantic attraction like that and keep acting as if i want to date ppl or fuck them when i say they look pretty??? I spent way too fucking long mistaking my aesthetic attraction for sexual for ppl to once again reinforce this idea and im done with it. Please for the love of god stop it.

I said i liked wilbur and thought he was rlly cute and they then proceeded to, you guessed it, act like im in love with him or that i want to fuck him. First of all, hes a real person on the internet that i do not know, 2nd of all, fucking eww, and 3rd of all, hes a whole ass adult and we r both in high school. Yikes again.

Ofc i didnt tell them these things and just said that i dont like him that way and just thought he was pretty and nothing else. They completely ignored this and thought i was just embarrassed or smth or that i was in denial. Yikes again again.

So yeah. The only lesson i learned is to never come out as aspec to anyone irl ever again. Tbh i kinda want to tell them that im not bi and that i dont feel any kind of attraction. It would be a lie but christ i wish they would stop. They can validate my bisexuality but not my nb or aspec identities? I knew that queer sexualities were more normalized now which is awesome but why cant they do that for trans ppl or aspecs? Why does it have to stop there?

Sorry for venting like this but i thought this might be relatable for yall. Ive never had the experience of feeling "broken" bc of any of my identities, im very confident in them. I just wish other ppl other than my online friends would feel the same.

Also sorry for delaying the romo attraction thingy i just rlly dont feel like it rn. Idk when i will write it but hopefully if i feel better i will finish it today

There's no pressure to write it up dude it's cool :) whenever you're ready ❤

And those ppl do not sound like good friends- idk exactly how old you are but ik I'm older, and I can tell you for certain that you will find better friends one day. It's guaranteed :) they don't deserve your friendship and I am glad to validate and help you in any way you need ❤❤

Yee I've never felt broken either! I think an element of that is that I thought I was allo for a very long time? But on the other hand I was bullied in my childhood for not having attraction so idk why that hasn't manifested into a phobia of romance but eh I'm better off this way whether it makes sense or not.

It makes me happy as well cuz a lot of ppl in the community seem very pessimistic abt how we're treated but it's nice to know that not all of us feel broken cuz the 2 of us are living examples of that :)

But unfortunately yeah, your experiences above are things many ppl can relate to. I'm sure almost everyone can remember a time where they came out to someone and weren't met with good responses,,

Let this be a reminder that this is not right and we deserve more support for something so personal. Even if you don't understand someone's identity that doesn't give you the right to dismiss or ignore them. Our identities are very important and personal to us and supporting them is basic respect.

[gra-sonas]

Darling! Idk if this is weird and you don't have to post this at all lol But I just wanted to say that I've always struggled with "identifying myself" because I will read sth and be "that does sound like me" but then I will read sth else and be "ok, no, that is not quite right" but the way you wrote about how you feel/see sex and attraction was exactly how I feel and idk...I guess I just wanted to say thanks (even though you were just describing yourself...yeah, this is weird, sorry) *goes and hides*

Oh, it's you, darling nonnie! ❤️

Hey, no, it's not weird at all. Not for me anyway! We are all super complex, and there's no ONE SIZE FITS ALL.

TMI, vague mention of past trauma (no details tho)

It took me years (YEARS) to untangle how I felt, to discover labels, what possible label(s) might be fitting, and whether I was even allowed to claim one. It was super hard bc for most of my life I just felt "broken", that my trauma had ruined me, and that I was just a complete failure as a person in general, and a woman in particular.

I had no idea that there's a spectrum, and that no matter where you place yourself on that spectrum, it's always 100% valid and always perfectly and beautifully YOU!

And, what's even more important - nothing is set in stone! You are allowed to move around on that spectrum, play with it, claim a new label, or shed an old one that no longer fits. That's part of being a human. It's beautiful, and it's fucking complicated at times, but you're allowed to change and grow and see what fits and what doesn't at any given moment in your life.

After years of therapy, I'm at a different point in my journey than when I started. Today, I know I'm not broken. I know that my trauma didn't break me and that it certainly didn't make me a failure. I also know more about what I like, what I don't like, and I'm even open to experiencing new things in the future. I never thought I'd get to the point I am - and it's not a requirement either. If someone's content and happy where they are, that's also 100% valid.

I'm on a journey though, slowly claiming tiny bits and pieces for myself I never thought I could have (or rather enjoy having). And whether someone's on a journey, or already reached their perfect spot, it's all good and right.

But really, the concept of demisexuality/gray-Ace has been such a revelation for me. Finally, I understood why I never felt like climbing anyone like a tree, and why it's very unlikely that I'll ever experience the feeling of that. What a relief to realize that it's perfectly fine and valid??? Incredible!

I need the emotional connection to another person more than anything. And depending on how things are going, there can be more, but there doesn't have to be. And it's absolutely fine either way. I don't have to be or feel a certain way in order to be valid. I can't even begin to tell you what a game-changer that's been for me!

I still have a lot to untangle (yay, old trauma, the "gift" that keeps on giving :P), but I'm no longer beating myself up over not feeling the way our rather hyper-sexualized tends to tell people how they should feel or that it's weird not to experience certain things.

So, you keep exploring, and you keep shining, nonnie. And if the way I described how I feel makes you feel more seen, or helps you realize something about yourself, even better. That's never weird, it's beautiful and I'm very happy for you. ❤️

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #276

“all the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run, better run, outrun my gun.”

Favorite dried fruit? Dried fruit is fucking disgusting. Would you rather wear a dress or a suit on your wedding day? A dress. If you chose dress, will it be long or short? I prefer longer wedding dresses. If you chose suit, will you wear a bow or a tie? Hypothetically I’d wear a tie, probably. Have you ever wanted to be a police officer? No. Do you have a nut allergy? No. Do you accessories with chains? Put chains on fucking EVERYTHING and it is an improvement. How often do you cook dinner? If you’re excluding the microwave, like… never. What have you given up on recently? Nothing important; the only thing I can think of applies to a game. I was after the way-too-fucking-expensive dinosaur mount that is very soon going away in World of Warcraft, but the stress it was causing me wasn’t worth it. The time investment and how it was only a “maybe” of getting it in time Favorite condiment for fries? Ketchup. Ever had bangs? I did as a little kid. Do you know any Italian people? Well yeah, people of Italian descent are common in the U.S. I don’t know like, someone straight from Italy though. Have you ever dated someone LGBTQ+? Yeah, a demisexual. What color would you like your future bathroom to be? Uh… I don’t really care. It would depend on the house. Do you add sugar to plain cornflakes? No. Are skeletons cool? Skellyboiz are dope. Favorite Selena Gomez song? I don’t know any. Do you like coffee flavored cake? I don’t like coffee, so guess. Is that even a thing, though? Do you still watch your favorite kid shows/cartoons? I don’t watch TV. I would though, sure. Do you like going on walks? What's your favorite thing about them? How far do you normally walk? Ugh this question is gonna be embarrassing considering I went through muscle atrophy in my legs from being so sedentary. When we move (HOPEFULLY the start of October, a wrench was kinda thrown in our plans), I intend to absolutely start walking in small intervals now that we’ll be in a nice little neighborhood with a sidewalk. And a PokeStop nearby to bait me lmfao. Plus the weather will be cooler, so I intend to make a lot of progress. BUT ANYWAY I like just listening to either music or the sounds of what’s going on around me. Last time you had a hot drink? That’s a good question. Idk. Have you ever lived in a city? Was it crowded? Never like… a “real” city. Just small towns or in the middle of nowhere. Would you prefer to live in a big city or the woods? THE WOODS!!!!!!1 THE WOODS!!!!!1!!!!1111!! GIMME THAT SHIT!!!!!!11!11!!!! Have you ever climbed a mountain? No. Do you hear owls or crickets at night where you live? LOADS of crickets and toads during the summer. Ever run away from home? When I was a stupid pre-teen. I was mad at my mom and she wasn’t home, so I took Teddy and left. I had my phone though and Mom – when she got home – threatened to call the cops, so yeah, I came back. Are you scared to ride public transport alone? Why? No. Is marriage on your mind? No time soon. Did you own a dollhouse when you were younger? I didn’t, per se, but my younger sister did, and we would play together. Does the room you're in have a tiled floor? No, it’s carpet. How many pairs of earrings do you own? Not that many, not too few. Are you looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend? I’ve never thought *looking* was a good idea, so no. I think bonds of any kind need to come naturally to avoid lack of genuineness, force, or rush. I don’t think me having an s/o is a smart idea right now anyway. Do you prefer a call or a text? Don’t call me unless you’re dying or something. Do your parents drink coffee every morning? Mom almost always does. I don’t live with Dad, so idk. Have you ever donated blood? Yes. One song that's meaningful to you? UM a LOT. Most meaningful, probably “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelin. I physically can’t listen to it. Like I refuse to. Are you addicted to anything? Technology, big oof energy. What were you last listening to in the car? Something on my iPod, idk. When was the last time you sang out loud? I don’t recall. I rarely sing. What did you have for breakfast? A microwaveable sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. Mom is currently out of state with her mother because she’s literally on her deathbed, so she STOCKED ME THE FUCK UP on groceries. The freezer is literally jam-packed, so I’m focusing on eating food from there. Did you have a nap today? Yes. I almost never, ever make it through the day without one, especially now with having nightmares every fucking time I sleep. Are you named after anyone? No. Well, not my first name, anyway. “Marie” is a middle name theme in my family, though. What kind of music do you like? Metal, rock, alternative, indie… stuff like that. What’s one hobby that you’d like to take up? Ugh, I miss a LOT of my old hobbies. I’ve lost interest in so much. I wish I drew way more than I do, which is almost never. What did you think you wanted to be when you grew up? The first job I ever wanted was a paleontologist. I was obsessed with dinosaurs. Still love ‘em. What’s the biggest project on your to-do list right now? It’d be great if I could finish designing Ashley’s cancer tattoo, but again, yeah, drawing motivation. ;_; If you weren’t in your current job, what would you want to be doing? I’m unemployed. Is the last person you kissed older than you? No. Are you happy right now? No. Haven’t been “happy” for a while now. Who makes you happiest right now? Probably my cat tbh lol. Especially being home alone for so long, he’s keeping me company. In school did/do people put a label on you? If so, what is/was it? I was considered one of the “emo” kids. Do you laugh every day? lol wow no. What is the last thing you laughed at? This Spongebob meme I saw on Facebook got me fuckin good. Have you cried today? If so, why? Nah. When was the last time someone saw you naked? Been a long time; even when I’m going in or coming out of the shower I do all I can for Mom to not see me because I hate my body a fucking lot. What is the greatest loss you've endured? My first boyfriend. When was the last time you did something you were embarrassed by? WOW I do this like every fuckin day, fam. What was the last thing you lied about? I’m not sure. What type of a drunk are you? Never gotten to the point of drunk, but I was more talkative the closest I got. What is your philosophy on life/how do you generally choose to live or conduct yourself? What a big question. I personally think you should do all you can to make a positive impact on the world – make it better than when you entered. Don’t contribute to the bad, treat people how you want to be treated… all that jazz. When was the last time you were up all night and why? I can’t remember quite why, but I remember doing that with WoW some time ago. Idr what I was doing that had my attention that long, though. That’s rare now. What is the worst thing you've done to yourself? What is the worst thing someone else has done to you? Part one: hand over all of my worth to someone else. Part two: show me exactly why I shouldn’t have in a very unhealthy way. What is the most personal thing you're willing to reveal? I dunno??? Can ya give me a topic?? Is there a situation or person you haven't been able to get over/forgive/what have you? I honestly doubt I’ll ever be entirely over Jason. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? Probably Mom, and idr. Doubt it. Just probably raised my voice. Where did your last injury come from? My cat, rip. What is the worst thing you have said to another person? Something along the lines of “thanks for sending me to the ER (or mental hospital?) again.” Fucking disgusting. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Without fail, always. Please wear your seatbelt. Are you scared of flying? Not really. What do you sleep in? Men’s pj pants and tank tops. Who was the last person you kissed? Sara. What are you listening to? I am fucking HOOKED on 3TEETH's cover of "Pumped Up Kicks." Do you prefer soupy noodles or noodles without the broth? Without. Have you ever missed someone but felt like they had other friends and didn't miss you as much as you did? This. Is the story of my motherfuckin life. I feel this all the time to a very deep level. Who, out of all your friends, do you hang with the most and could never get tired of him/her? Sara. Do you like the taste of white chocolate or does it taste kind of fake? Nooot a white chocolate fan. Too sweet. How would you react if you just found out your mom had an abortion before? I would be VERY surprised just given who she is and her adoration for children. Are your pets spayed/neutered? Yes. Hottest guy you know and actually talk to? I don’t regularly talk to any guy I consider “hot,” but the closest to that would be my friend Leon, whom I’ve always seen as very attractive. It is fucking UNCANNY, his resemblance to Leon Kennedy from the Resident Evil series. Like he’s dressed as him before and it is astonishing. Name sharing is a coincidence, too. What time of day do you like to shower? I don’t have a favored time anymore. I just do it when I feel like it at some point during the day, but pretty much never night anymore. I do think starting the morning with one though is great, though. When you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? Fries are almost guaranteed, but of course it depends on the type of food, too. What do you spend more money than necessary on? I don’t and never have had a stable source of income to answer this, really. What video game or computer game are you best at? Uhhh I’d probably be rusty with the Shadow of the Colossus controls by now, I’ve don’t have the maps or every puzzles memorized from the Silent Hill games, so I guess my answer’s World of Warcraft if I’m on my hunter. Not to flex but I’m a bomb-ass beast mastery hunter. Been my main in the game since I started in MoP. What do you keep your keys on? They’re in my purse on a keychain. Is your favorite color different than your favorite color to wear? Oh yeah. Do you buy books or get them from the library? Buy them. What section of the food pyramid do you neglect the most? Veggies for sure. What do you use your stovetop for most? Well, I don’t ever. Can you focus on studying if there's music on? No, I need silence. In what types of situations do you demand absolute silence? Well, see the above answer, for one. Also going to sleep. Well, maybe not, as I have a fan as kinda like white noise, but I can sleep without it. Did you do well at fitness testing in grade school? I didn’t score bad, but I wasn’t exceptional either. Do you own more shoes or less shoes than the average person? Less, I’m sure. Do you still have anything from when you were a baby? Yeah, up in the attic. I think my mom has some stuff that’s super important to her in a case somewhere. Do you use hairspray much? I never do. Are art museums interesting or boring to you? I enjoy them. What subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? Well, this is a difficult question to answer when you consider I think depending on your career focus as well as personal values and interests, this answer changes from person to person. Like for me, I could say I don’t give a shit about complex math, but advanced math courses would be valued by certain people down specific paths. But anyway, I’ll bite and say least necessary for *the most* people, in my opinion anyway. Gym. It’s very discriminatory towards people with more limited physical capabilities (and I don’t just mean literally disabled), and it’s also just very uncomfortable and/or embarrassing to some people. Like I’d fuckin cry if in my current state, I was forced to “run” a mile, because I physically couldn’t come even close. A person, a younger one especially, should never be subjected to humiliation at the hands of a class schools deem “necessary” when it absolutely is not. Okay I’m in a talkative mood and this is turning into an essay so I’mma move along now. When you were a kid, what games did you always play on the playground? I think for as long as I had recess, my go-to was ALWAYS the swings. I fucking loved swingsets. I loved playing 4 Square or whatever it was called. And then of course there was me digging tunnels in the sandboxes because I wanted to feel like a meerkat lmfao. Do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? For some reason, I still have this childlike excitement *early* into a power outage. Especially when it’s dark and we have to get out the candles, and I might play my old GameBoy or Nintendo DS, or I’ll probably just chill talking with Mom. However, that phase is pretty short nowadays, being a snake mama. My mind very quickly goes back to “Venus needs her lamp,” so as time passes, I get more anxious than annoyed. Basically, I’d rather not have one. Do you know how to use an ATM? … no lmao How about write a check? No. Are you pretty politically correct? To a degree I consider reasonable. Personally I find political correctness as having gone too far by now, but it’s certainly appropriate in some instances. What is one fashion trend you'll never understand? I… don’t really care to think much on this. Wear what makes you feel confident in yourself. There are things I think don’t look good, but they may look great to you, and it’s on your body, so guess whose opinion matters. What do you wear when you exercise? Oh yeesh. Just sweatpants and a tank top, normally. What is usually the last thing you do before you go to bed? I turn the brightness on my phone waaay down. I’m always going to wake up throughout the night and check the time, but I don’t want to be blinded.

[purplesurveys]

819

what is a food that you’d hate to be allergic to?: Omg SEAFOOD. Can’t live without it. If I was allergic to it I’d be that person who brings tons of antihistamines everywhere I go so I can power through when eating crabs and mussels and shrimp. I just can’t live a life of being forced to watch others eat seafood while I can’t lol.

what color was the last towel you used?: Light blue.

would you prefer to date someone taller, shorter, or the same height as you? Same height or a tad bit taller is fine; I’m not super particular when it comes to height.

when was the last time your nose bled? My nose has never bled before and I dread the day it happens for the first time, because I’m totally unprepared and blood freaks me out and I will highkey probably pass out for a bit hahaha.

how old are you turning this year?: I already turned 22 last April. Considering the circumstances, my birthday had surprisingly gone really well too.

what is your favorite thing to snack on while watching a movie?: French fries from Potato Corner. My go-to bucket size is Mega and I will typically request my order to be 1/2 barbecue and 1/2 cheese fries. I’ll feel super uneasy if I don’t have that exact order when watching a movie at the cinema.

swimming pool or hot tub?: So I had to look up hot tub because I wanted to know how it’s different from a jacuzzi, and holyyyyy crap I’ve learned something new - Jacuzzi is a brand of hot tubs, wtfreak my life has been a lie I thought it was a word!!! Hahaha in any case, I do prefer hot tubs more. I’ve always felt dirty hanging around in swimming pools.

can you swim well? I’m not able to perform any of the strokes like an Olympic athlete, but I can tread well and for a good amount of time.

what body part do you wash first in the shower?: Not really a part of the body per se but I’ve always washed my hair first.

who would you allow to read your thoughts for one day? No thanks, I find that too invasive. 

what kind of first impression do you think you make? Cold and a little aloof, which isn’t too far off from the truth especially if I’m not approached first. If someone does talk to me for the first time, it’ll depend on their body language whether I’ll choose to continue to be reserved, or if I’d want to be bubbly and vibrant around them.

name your last reason for using a camera? My dad honked his horn as he parked in the carport to let us know he was home, and my dog ran up the screen door and sat patiently to wait for him to come inside, his tail wagging the whole time.

where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed? Sometimes I’ll line up our dining chairs together so it can turn to some sort of bed, and I’ve been falling asleep on that often lately.

what are you excited about? To drink the rest of this milk tea my dad bought me :) He went out to run some errands and I guess he’s been hearing me talk about how I miss having milk tea, so he went out of his way to go to a Chatime and get drinks for me and my sister.

seven days from now, will you be in a relationship? Yes.

are you a happy person? My emotions are always all over the place. I’m never consistently in a certain mood.

when was the last time you laughed really hard & why? I was bored and missing normal life last night so I went through my uploaded photos on Twitter so I can see what I used to do before everything went downhill...and by doing that, I realized that I’m quite good at tweeting HAHAHA most of my captions made me laugh and my content/photos weren’t all that bland or bad either. Idk, this is one instance where I can confidently say that I’m funny hahaha.

what are you wearing? A UP shirt and a pair of shorts.

what do you want? For my college to post the official list of graduating students for this school year so that I can finally partake in the tradition of changing my Facebook DP to my senior photo. I REALLY love how my portrait turned out and I can’t wait for my loved ones to see it.

did you enjoy your weekend? It was okay I guess. My mom was annoyingly cranky throughout Saturday for no reason, but it mellowed out by the next day and that’s good enough for me. Other than that, it was just as uneventful as the last three months have been.

do you regret anything you’ve done recently? Just little stuff that I get over quickly like, “oh I regret making this coffee at 11 PM because it’s now 3 AM and I’m jumpy as fuck.” But no big regrets recently.

is there anybody you wish you could see? For fucking sure. I don’t even have to tell y’all who it is.

have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with j or m? Nope. I almost went out with an M, though.

how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 2 3/4 lol. I trust Andrew 110%...and I mooooostly trust my dad. Not with every single topic under the sun, but I still trust him a whole lot nonetheless.

do you think you’ll be married in 10 years? I hope I will be by then.

what makes you mad most about girls? Definitely wanna avoid generalizing in this question but the way some girls will fawn over men is super hypocritical and that bugs me to no end. Girls shaming other girls for a range of things is also annoying, whether it’s over wearing too much makeup, not wearing makeup, choosing to abort, physical appearances, their diet, etc. Some really need to mind their own fucking business.

have you ever been given roses? Yes.

do you even like getting flowers? I love receiving stems or bouquets but I’m not obsessed with them in that I wanna get them regularly. Giving me flowers for Valentine’s Day or on our anniversary is more than enough for me.

what’s your favorite flowers? Peonies.

could you go out in public looking like you do now? No. I’d change my shorts.

who’s the first person you texted today? I haven’t texted anyone today.

would you move to another state to be with the person you loved? That’s a toughie...it would depend on the opportunities I have wherever I live in the present, and whether there are better ones where my partner is. I’m young and still building up my career, so realistically I’d wanna look out for myself first instead of clumsily jumping in headfirst for love lol.

how’s the weather today? It’s strangely warm and humid and uncomfortable, which is annoyinggggg. News has said that the wet/rainy season already begun, so I don’t know why the sun is still hanging around and being, again, annoying.

what color are your eyes? Really dark brown, almost black.

do you like poptarts? In my country we only get the same five flavors but my favorite out of all of them is chocolate fudge. I really wish we had a wider selection though :(

where will you be 12 hours frm now? Getting ready for bed most likely.

is it easy for others to make you feel intimidated? No. I’m usually the one who involuntarily makes others feel intimidated, oops.

do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow? Not exactly but it’s definitely gonna be one of the several tops and shorts I’ve just been repeatedly wearing at home since March.

are you on a desktop or laptop? Laptop. I haven’t used a desktop in ages.

does anyone hate you for no reason? I’m sure one or two people do, but I genuinely can’t care less.

what are you planning to do today? Finish my milk tea, maybe take another survey or two, eat the salted egg chips that my dad bought, and, if it cools down later in the day, take a quick nap.

play an instrument? I can play the recorder. I also memorize several songs on the piano, but the key word there is memorize lmao. I just know which keys to press due to watching covers over and over; but I can’t read notes, I don’t know which letters match which keys, have no idea what major and minor is, and I basically know absolutely nothing about using a piano.

would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Just to get closure from certain people or events. If I can go back in time I’d spend more time with my late grandpa, for one.

where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now? I’ve already forgotten.

have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with an r? No. I’m an R though, heh.

have you ever passed out? Yeah numerous times. I’m a big fainter, which just sounds so uncool lmfao.

are you easily confused? Yes I feel lost quite easily. I’m often the butt of my friends’ jokes because of this, but I don’t mind hahaha.

do you think you would make a good wife/husband? I like to think that I would be, but I dunno. I’m still insanely young and I know I’ll be a completely different person with different priorities, mindset, attitude, etc., by the time I get married. It’s too early to tell.

what’s your favorite kind of ice cream? Cookies and cream. Queso real is also a really good flavor and it was my favorite for some time before my taste shifted to cookies and cream.

do you like coffee? Love coffee.

do you like summer? I like it when I get to go to the beach or when my family books trips out of town or the country, but I reeeeeally could do without the hot and sticky weather. It’s definitely not my favorite period of the year.

where were you at 8am this morning? I was asleep for half of it, then by 8:30 I was up and scrolling through Facebook.

do you fall for people easily? No. That is one thing I can’t do as a demisexual haha.

everything happens for a reason? This is usually my mindset, yes. It helps me process and accept circumstances better and much more quickly.

have you ever dated someone more than once? Yup, Gab and I have broken up before.

who have you texted in the last 24 hours? No one. Not really big on texting these days as I’ve been using Messenger to contact people throughout the quarantine.

what color nail polish is on your toes? My toes are never painted.

do you find members of the preferred sex confusing? People of any gender have the potential to be confusing. < This.

what are you listening to right now? Right now all I can hear is the work being done for the new house that’s being constructed in front of ours, so I’ll hear the occasional shoveling of stones and trucks coming in and out of the construction zone. The last music I listened to was the Presto from Summer of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons because Portrait of a Lady on Fire always makes me feel things.

how has the week been? It hasn’t been horrible, I’ll give it that. I’ve been revisiting my old fandoms out of boredom but it’s turned out to be a lot of fun; my mom brought home cupcakes at the start of the week; I had milk tea today; and we just had Kimi groomed this afternoon so his fur is all gone and now he looks like a giant rat.

is there something you wish you could tell someone but can’t? I wish I could have respectful debates with my Duterte- and/or Trump-supporting relatives, but I know that’s impossible.

what are your biggest turn offs? People who: can only hold shallow conversations, are disrespectful to those in the service industry; are casually homophobic, racist, sexist, transphobic, and/or fatphobic; take their religion way too seriously; and neglect their pets.

favorite shirt to wear? My CM Punk Best in the World shirt, without a doubt. I’ve been wearing it semi-regularly for nine years and have absolutely no intention of throwing it out.

favorite drink? Depends on my mood and the occasion. If I’m studying I’d wanna have coffee with me, if I’m casually dining at a restaurant I’d be happy with iced water, etc.

last person to say ‘i love you’ to you? Gab.

would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yeah, but when that’s gonna happen again I still have no idea...

what’s your favorite color gummy bear? I always find myself reaching for the red ones.

what is the nicest part of the opposite sex’s body? I don’t consistently stare at a certain part of a guy’s body.

have you ever run into a dishwasher? No, those aren’t common here.

ever had a song sung about/for you? Nope.

is there a baby in the room with you right now? No, not technically. But I do consider my pets to be my babies. < Same. Kimi, now a giant rodent, is walking around the living room at the moment but he never strays too far from me.

where do you sing the most, in the car, the shower or other? CAAAAAAAAAR. This is a big reason why I miss driving, I haven’t been able to belt out in a while.

what is your favorite thing that is green? I don’t own a lot of green stuff since it’s my least favorite color...buuuuut I do have a printed flowy dress that I just love to wear, and it’s mostly olive green.

what did your last text message say? It’s an automated text from a vet clinic I went to last December telling me that I should bring Kimi back for a checkup. I appreciate the gesture but I’m not going back there after how condescending the vet was acting towards me.

what is the way to your heart? Acts of service has been my love language for the longest time.

what do you smell like? I smell nothing off of me now but I do know that I don’t smell unpleasant, because if I did I would’ve noticed it immediately and would feel more conscious.

what’s in your pocket? I don’t have any.

anything in your mouth? Not right now but I’ve been sipping milk tea with pearls all afternoon.

ever hurt yourself playing wii? Only after my first day of playing Wii Sports. It was like a workout for my tiny 10 year old body and I woke up all sore the next morning.

do you have freckles? No, not a common feature here.

what’s the last movie you saw in the theater? Knives Out.

ever jumped/fallen/been pushed in a pool with your clothes on? Noooooooooo. I feel like that’s super uncomfortable; I’ve always entered pools with a swimsuit or bikini. My glare is usually enough for people to understand that I wouldn’t appreciate being thrown into a pool while I still had clothes on.

are you wearing any clothes that you wore yesterday? Technically. I took a shower in the evening and changed into the clothes I’m wearing now, but that was in the evening so it’s not like I wore them all day yesterday.

name a song that you know all the words to: Every single Paramore song. Guaranteed.

what’s the last thing you watched on tv? If we’re really going with a physical TV, the last thing I watched was Descendants of the Sun when I used the Netflix app on our TV. The last series I watched in general was Friends.

what can you hear right now? Two fans whirring in the living room.

did you feel better or worse or the same yesterday? I’m slightly better today. I’m glad Kimi has finally been groomed since his fur had knotted up in the last couple of weeks. Plus I also have milk tea today, and that’s always a winner :)))

are you close to your siblings? With my sister, but we treat each other like buddies and are more of the tough-love type. We banter more than anything and we don’t hold heart to heart talks.

do you bite your nails? No we have a nail cutter at home that I use. If I’m going through a period of heightened anxiety I will bite my nails though.

do you like your feet? Uh, I guess. I’m not complaining about them? but I’m also not attracted to feet. Mine are just there and I’m fine with them.

do you sleep well at night? For the most part.

[luckyredeyes]

Can I ask the mun about gender and sexual orientation?

[[Sure. Cis woman.

Orientation has been a lot harder for me to sort out so far. Once I learned about demisexuality, that’s what I labeled myself as. Because I like guys, but in real world situations I’ve never really...um? Had any feelings I could call sexual, for anyone except he was my boyfriend or a close friend otherwise. And even then it wasn’t so much Oooh help me Lord I have to sleep with him as Hey, sleeping with him would be pretty cool if he was down. But here’s the thing, I’ve never been in a relationship for more than like — a year, and I’ve dated exactly two men in the past. One I never got that close to, and one I was really close to but we fell out pretty horribly. So I don’t know, maybe I just haven’t been with anyone long enough for any desires like that to progress beyond “Eyyy, sounds nice.” So really I don’t know whether I’m really demisexual, or just super slow and inexperienced — and possibly still constrained by my not-until-you’re-married upbringing.

In either case, it’s not something I’ve ever brought up with my family or most acquaintances. For one thing, being demisexual (If that’s what I am) and attracted to men is pretty invisible, and not something I’m ever likely to face any problems for UNLESS I put a label on it, publicly. Because if I do, hoo boy, I can hear it already.

“How’s that different from being celibate? You’re appropriating the names and experiences of LGBT people who face real problems and danger for their identities because you just Want A Laaaabel. How do you know you don’t want to sleep with a man you’re not dating/married to if you don’t give them a chaaaance? You’re not demisexual you’re just straight and trying to be Speciaaaal.”

My family would probably say “Oh yeah, no, you’re just celibate and this is you buying into liberal identity politics because you don’t take your religious beliefs seriously” (even though I do). Honestly, even if I know for certain that I’m demisexual I’m never going to really come out with it except around here. I wouldn’t feel comfortable trying to explain it to my family, and if I ever do have a long-term relationship with a man, it won’t matter to them anyway.

TL;DR: Demisexual? I think? Fuck idk.