#demicolon arc

[post-shooter]

Wait, that's all I had to do? Damn. Almost feels cheap. Anyway, that's 2 counts of grand larceny, 4 and a half counts of desecration since I'm not sure if the reformed demicolon counts as a separate artifact yet, and at least 3 counts of dimensional travel without a passport. God, this is gonna be a headache to file! Hey, do you have any advil on you by any chance?

Percentile.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Who's there? What do you want?

[character-profiles]

TO-DO LIST:

Events:

-The Dark Web Spider Breach

-Quest For Status (The Status Revival Arc)

-THE PLUS-MINUS CONTINGENCY

-THE CARR10N INFECTION

-The Pikmin Saga

-Experimental Ice Arc (Magical-Experiments)

-The Swap!Verse

-Til-death do us part

-The Citadel Siege

-Exclamania's Election

-A Shady Plan (shady and anton escape the game via robots)

-ReSet

-Amar Has Left The Game

-The Demicolon Saga

-The Heist

-The Battle Pass

-The Serotonin Patch (Vs Tyria)

-Insurgent Contingency (Vs Gabriel)

-Cold-Hearted (Mini/Terro/Jordan)

-

-[???]

WIP Profiles:

-Nefarious(STILL???? GOD the procrastination on this is so BAD)

[th3-oracl3]

B3CAUS3. B3CAUS3. B3333333333333CAUUUUUU

B3CAUS3 YOU L3FT US ALL B3HIND AND WON AN AWARD FOR B3ING SUSPICIOUS. COLL3CT IT AT TH3 BUILDING ON "WHAT TH3 FUCK AR3 YOU UP TO" STR33T.

[Professor Percentile arrives back home in the swap!verse, Demicolon in tow.]

Splendid. Wait. *cough* Splendid. And now, for-

[@th3-oracl3 is with her.]

WHAT!? WHY ARE YOU HERE?

[th3-oracl3]

[Oracl3 follows through the portal before it closes.]

Okay. There must be some way of returning home. This dimension's Advertsary can't do it, but does this dimension's Advertsary have... associates?

...wait, what am I talking about? We've MET their associates. But how do I contact them?

[th3-oracl3]

BOY AM I GLAD I HAD THAT PROPH3TIC VISION IN MY SL33P 3XPLAINING 3V3RYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON, INCLUDING TH3 DOPP3LGANG3R ACT! OTH3RWIS3 I WOULD'V3 IMM3DIAT3LY KILL3D YOU FOR WHAT YOU SAID TO MY WIF3!

F33LS GR3AT WH3N TH3 GIMMICK ACTUALLY MATT3RS! ANYWAY, BY3 B3STI3!

[Oracl3 fucks off.]

Percentile.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Who's there? What do you want?

[doctor-percentile]

It was surprisingly easy, I- HEY!

[The Demicolon explodes. you are effectively flashbanged.]

MY EYE! IT GOT MY EYE!

[When your vision reclears, the Demicolon is floating, everyone is back on their feet or hovering torso, and the Professor is covering her upper left eye. There's also a small circle-ish cut below her lower right eye...]

I... I can hear it speaking. It's going to- okay. yes. okay. I have to go visit a long dead civilization and give them the body of their god back, and then repent for an indeterminate amount of time. And then repair all the walls we broke while we were down there. Bye.

[The Demicolon drops into the Professor's hands. She walks out the door, but not before muttering a "I'll get you next time." to the Doc.]

Well, I think that's- hold on- *cough* I think that's the end of that.

Percentile.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Who's there? What do you want?

[post-shooter]

Oh. Well, considering that I'm honestly not sure whether or not the bombs dropped at this point, let alone if the demicolon still counts as an artifact if it's been tampered with this much, let's rock and roll

{Now that sheriff's reloaded, have a shot to the demicolon}

Also, follow-up question, how did you even fuse those two artifacts into one? That thing doesn't look very symmetrical

Percentile.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Who's there? What do you want?

[doctor-percentile]

[The professor lunges at Oracl3 with impossible speed.]

NO!

[She brings Oracl3 to the ground, right before his hammer would've made contact.]

[The doc glances at the Sheriff, and then gestures towards the professor with their eyes.]

[The Demicolon is starting to glow brighter.]

Percentile.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Who's there? What do you want?

[th3-oracl3]

[Oracl3 breaks through the wall Doctor Percentile kept looking at. He is carrying the Demicolon in a wagon behind him.]

Y3AH, WHAT IF SOM3 PRICK FINDS WH3R3 YOU W3R3 HIDING TH3 DAMN THING AND TH3N

[He pulls out a hammer]

DID THIS?

[He swings the hammer towards the Demicolon.]

Percentile.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Who's there? What do you want?

[doctor-percentile]

I stole it twice, even! The damn thing was chipped in this world.

Right, how'd you do that again? Please explain in detail.

I lugged that thing back to MY world, looked up its version of the Demicolon, stole IT from its ancient monument, and turned the two chipped worthless artifacts into ONE artifact actually worth anything. Any questions?

Percentile.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Who's there? What do you want?

[post-shooter]

Oh, right. Wait... demicolon... deep-sea waterboarding... bigger problems...

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT HOW DID I NOT REALIZE YOU STOLE THE GREAT TREASURE OF DEMICOLANTIS SOONER!?

{Clik! Clik! Clik!}

Fuck uh give me like 30 seconds to reload and also decide whether that counts as grave robbery or desecration of a monument

Percentile.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Who's there? What do you want?

[doctor-percentile]

IS IT NOT OBVIOUS WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS HERE?

Oh, sure, do my job for me. I'll be sure to have a congratulatory 24/7 deep-sea waterboarding prepared for you after.

[The doc coils over in pain, and pulls out some gadget to heal themself. The professor just watches in amusement.]

Percentile.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Who's there? What do you want?

[post-shooter]

OH, THAT'S THE GUY I WAS ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO ARREST!

{Shoot the other percentile's scar}

I WAS WONDERING WHY THIS VERSION OF YOU WAS HERE INSTEAD!

Percentile.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Who's there? What do you want?

[doctor-percentile]

I've literally always had that. Don't they also have one?

[Suddenly, some doors are kicked open.]

YOU'RE ONLY ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT THE SCAR IF YOU TALK ABOUT HOW COOL IT LOOKS!

Oh, doctor. You're here.

Oh, you bet I am, and-

[The doc looks to the wall next to them. It's a wall.]

Ugh, he's late. Never mind, just me! To kill you! To death! And- why do I have the differentiation? Shouldn't you-

THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS I'M DOING THIS!

[The professor uses demicolon magic or whatever to force the laser blaster out of the doc's hand.]

The main goal is complete domination of my world and this one, and also to stop YOU from getting in the way! You inferior. double.

Inferior double? No, that's my Percentlings, but I hit the emergency wipeout. As you know, that means I'm operating at peak efficiency! Such as actually coming here with a plan.

[The doc looks to the wall next to them. Still a wall.]

Unfortunately some people were born idiots and yet i still made this plan hinge on them so- SHERIFF HELP ME STALL!

Percentile.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Who's there? What do you want?

[post-shooter]

Oh, how did I not see that glowing red weak spot earlier?

{Shot to the red scar-like line between the eyes}

Percentile.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Who's there? What do you want?

[doctor-percentile]

Monologuing. But yes- wait. actually, no. I was still busy acting sinister as you feebly tried everything you have in an attempt to hurt me. I don't have a monologue planned. I'd rather actions do the talking.

Eh, you've tried ineffectively long enough. Let me skip to the next step.

BEHOLD, MY POWER! I AM THE DIVINE WIELDER OF THE DEMICOLON!

Go on, try and hit me. One more time.

Percentile.

[It feels too quiet. You get the sense that the Percentile you're talking to is the only one in the whole lab.]

Who's there? What do you want?