#demented month
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A strange spirit has grasped my heart, like a cold white hand reaching up and out of a small wooden box.
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I am possessed by its alien will and thence led ceaselessly to dark and tangled ways.
The howling spiral upends my mind, and sleep brings no peace.
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happy pride month from our silliest goofy goober pretty boy bicon tim robin drake
dont like how it turned out but need to move on to other things
so have an unfinished ref sheet of timmers
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#gosh i really blew the rendering on this one#the anatomy looks slightly demented#it looks worse than the sketch tbh#ughrurggurhghhr no matter how many touch-up layers and tonal corrections it still looks off#i hate doing city scapes#and foreshoretening#i am so sorry#pride month#pride#tim drake#robin#red robin#batman#dc#dc comics#digital art#artwork#artists on tumblr
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people are in disagreement over whether Dexters needs are out of habit or are genuinely perverted. i always thought it was akin to stimming
#just like scratching an itch yknow#spooky month#ok this is in my drafts and this sounds demented when did i write this
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I do not know how to describe this, only that it's very nsfw and I can only apologize for what I've done
#hlvrai#Suno AI#sorry ive been sitting on this shit for like 2 months i need to subject someone else to this#I have to be demented every now and then or else I explode
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I wrote out an entire dissertation length rant but I'm actually deleting it & just leaving a gif that captures the energy of my current predicament in far less words
#*company i work for* is literally so stupid & i knew that already but oh my god. lol.#how are you going to give me 3 days a week as a sub then PROMOTE me to part time at 1 day a week w/zero potential to pick up new shifts...#bc im not ALLOWED to work more than 24 hrs a pay period (2 weeks) ...????? why??????#every other PT job ive had capped at 35 hrs a WEEK. this is 12 hrs a week cap. what rhe fuck#and they have to hire another PT person anyways so why not let me take what they would get??? fucking demented#here i go starting to rewrite the rant in the tags. theres much more believe me im being very restrained rn#who the fuck can survive on 750 dollars a month#i have to get a second job now! yayyy!!
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rating: Explicit relationship: Hell Priest/Riley McKendry chapter trigger warnings: A LOT please read the tags but primary - Dubcon, blood, gore, partial skinning, bad BDSM etiquette, partial dissection, grief, addiction issues summary:
"I hate you," Riley says in a voice that is nothing but tears. Her eyes are closed because she knows, deep down, that she's talking to herself as much or more than the Priest. "Hate can be such an effective tool. But - it is not one I wish to use against you. If it is punishment you seek, we can oblige. We can twist and torment your body until all your sins have been bled out. Even you understand - salvation is a bloodbath. We could give you that." Absolution.
#my fic#Hell Priest x Riley#Hellraiser 2022#Riley McKendry#Hell Priest#Hellraiser#I posted this so long ago and kept forgetting to post it here#so here we go#this is probably the most demented thing I've written#it is very very messy#and not nearly as sexy as I wanted it to be#it's also all over the place with emotions and character introspection and themes and kind of a hodge podge of my Thoughts on this ship#and its possibilities and potential#this is the fic that took me MONTHS to finish#and I kept writing shorter Priest/Riley fics in the meantime lol#femslash#horror femslash#slasher x final girl
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at a scene break that feels like a natural stopping point so i'll leave it there for now in order to a) pace myself with my reading and b) actually digest and process that whole scene because Oof was that a rough re-entry into the story lol
#:)#this way you'll get a good 3-4 weeks of liveblogging#instead of a demented 7 hour chapter binge followed by a 6 month writeup hiatus#i am learning from my mistakes. slowly but surely#there's usually 3-4 scenes like this per chapter so that should be all of january filled with liveblog reading#which is good because i know some people have really missed my reading/reactionposts so this way you get a little more of it#this is also totally not because i had a little less time today than i thought i did lmao
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Mine is not SUBTLE. He probably wears rainbow underwear that says I love Daigo Dojima written on them. Like I identified his character in Ishin purely based of off the gay vibes he was giving me. Mine is the gay disaster rep we deserve.
mine's a distinguished homosexual who relatively functions like a semi-normal human being until the second daigo takes a nap for two weeks THEN he's a category 4 disaster
#snap chats#i gotta add fifty subtle disclaimers that mine's not normal but in the grand scheme of things. and others. he is p tame#like yes he's insane yes he buys entire stocks to find daigo yes he participates in large real estate ploys just for daigo#yes he has relationship issues and just doesnt understand how they work and has trust issues#but could he mask as a normal person for five minutes and you could have a semi-adequate conversation with him absolutely#you would never know he's demented until you spent like a month with him#maybe two weeks
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Would it be possible to see the pet chicken... sounds like a lovely creature
Absolutely, behold:
Her name is Nugget- she thinks she is a person because she is imprinted on humans! Her older sibling was unfortunately...eaten, I suspect...by mom, so I stole her as she hatched the next day.
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I didn't have an incubator for her since I expected the hen to take care of things, so I had to make do. Since she was a single chick, she would cry constantly if nobody was there, so we carried her around everywhere. At the time, I was on summer break for uni so I could spend all day with her. A week or so later, we picked up some more chicks at the store to keep her company, but at that point, she was already attached. She is a Serama so is very small!
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First one is when she was getting her first feathers :)
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She comes when called, flies and perches on people when she sees them (has jumped a mailman), gets in my car when I try to leave for work, and runs in the house when the door is opened. She will also sit at the door and scream until you let her in...and is VERY loud. The mentioned lockscreen photo is this:
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#she turned 4 last month! she is very terrible and i love her#i have 2 of her sons and 1 daughter in my group rn too. her daughter is the sweetest <3 .the boys are demented...#there are SO SO many nugget pictures on my phone. anytime you want chicken pictures just ask#asks#cobalt#shes whining in the tags so my irl friend tumblr user fizzytastic is the reason why she has a trite name. she would not let me change it#so now my poor chicken is named nugget
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I drew some ghosts cause yes
(oh wowwwwwwwwew original art for once too *shock horror*:O)
#I have a ritual where I have to draw that little demented version of pump from spooky month every time I draw something I’m sorry#Ghosts#paranormal#spooky month#spooooky#vent art i guess#art#doodles#thesillygoosecompany
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- fin -
#-aquel corazón demente-#-tu-#amor#tu#boy#cigarros tu noches#mierda#desamor#steven universe#notas de vida#marc bohan#bojack horseman#kallypsos#pride month
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< It's Demented Week. Are You Ready For Some Demented Acts And Scary Concepts? >
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— Dress up crazy and wild. Halloween is ALL month long, ha ha. Don't talk to me until I've had my cup of BLOOD, ha ha. Smear blood (fake) on your face (real) and burst into your friend's house, hollering that there's been an accident. When your friend stands up, startled, from their delicious dinner, and they ask you who you are, and how you got into their house, do not admit that you went to your friend's old address. This would make you a fake friend (real). TRUE friends know the street addresses of each of their Top 5 Friends, and their garage door codes. True friends memorize details and wait, lurking, for the perfect time to strike.
— Use powerful incantations to revivify the dead and play tricks on them. Quarter behind the ear on the corpse of Susan B. Anthony. Got your nose Cleopatra. Use your terrible powers to defy the finality of death and wake up famous women throughout history and "neg" them using popular pick-up artist techniques. ("Wow. You must have been gorgeous back when you had skin and were alive. But that, sadly, was thousands of years ago . . . !!") Post the results to YouTube for a fun reaction. Gain a sizable following. Introduce a sports-adjacent drink-adjacent beverage drink to monetize your popularity. Do the dead thirst for sports drinks? Concoct a very interesting business strategy to unload some of your sports drinks on the taxpayers of Colorado. Get arrested for Conspiracy To Commit Wire Fraud (Fake).
— Pranks are an exciting situation. String an enormous spider from a tree along a sidewalk in a busy street in Brooklyn. Set up a small mechanical eye to monitor the path below. When the motion detector is tripped, have the spider drop down on the passer-by and stab them repeatedly in the throat, killing them. Can't convict a spider . . . no jury in the world would blame a spider for doing what they do best (Murder) . . . There is a law above man's law . . . NATURE'S law . . . and also the laws of the Ultimate Fighting Championship MMA promotion (no eye-gouging, no biting, no roughhousing, be respectful, nothing past second base unless it's 11 PM and night)
— Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be a ghost? If you haven't, start now! Think about death for a little each day. Not in the contemplative approach of a monk, quit that! Pretend that a speeding dangerous INSANE car driven by a MANIAC is about to hit you at all times, especially when you're eating or peeing. Now imagine being a ghost, looking down at your charred, mangled corpse. Capture this feeling and let it motivate you to take another pass at your failed sports drink idea from the previous bullet points. No jail is strong enough to hold your entrepreneurial soul or literal body, if you take enough steroids.
— Throw a rubber snake at a passing cyclist and when they careen off a cliff (this is happening at the Grand Canyon btw) do a land acknowledgement really really quickly before they hit the sides or bottom so their spirit doesn't get sucked up by the U.S. Government Spirit Vacuum that is secretly located in all National Parks and Catholic Churches.
— There's nothing more demented than the future. Seize on this fact by making plans with friends and coworkers that will cause them dread. A dinner 45 miles from their house. Drinks way too late on a Wednesday. Invite them to a church you don't belong to. Invite them to a Best Buy 1,800 miles away. Buy 5,000 atlases, rip pages out of each, and randomly mail them to individuals all across the world. Learn more about the city you live in. Memorize popular imports and exports for your state. Leave clues for the police letting them know that no one is is safe from your thirst for socio-topographical knowledge.
— In the future, the world's most popular computer game is a matter of life . . . and death!! And in THIS game, there ARE no EXTRA LIVES!! It's called Plormo and it is a rogue-like where you play as the eponymous Plormo, exploring caves and dungeons for loot. It comes out in the year 2041 and it is very popular initially (great gameplay, graphics, fun supporting character named Moop who gives you hints and sings), but Plormo loses popularity when people realize that the game kills you.
— In the mid-2000s, the shock-rap group the Insane Clown Posse was revealed to be under FBI investigation. An excerpt from the FBI's secret dossier: "THESE CLOWNS HAVE ATTITUDE! BUT THEY SPIT REAL SH*T, TOO."
— George W. Bush one time dressed up as a ghoul to scare his daughter. The name of that ghoul? Dick Cheney . . .. !!!
— Banksy one time painted George W. Bush dressed up as Ronald McDonald The Hedgehog 3.
— FBI on Banksy: "We must not let these insightful paintings reach the public . . . it could cause chaos!"
— The Pope, upon seeing that Banksy had teamed up with the Insane Clown Posse: "Yes. . . . everything is going according to plan."
— The Pope, to his Northern Cardinal: "Tell me. . . . what do you know about State Birds?"
— "When you think about it, don't we ALL wear masks, every day?" — The Masked Philosopher
— "Buddy, don't get me started!" — The Man In The Iron Mask (cut scene)
— Popular Costumes For Demented Month, 2024:
- Greasy Screaming Man
- Flirty Pope
- State Bird Of Virginia
- Generic Buster Of Ghosts
- Pile Of Discarded Bricks
- Angry Rabid Dog Running 25 Miles Per Hour At Your Car
- Flirty Succubus
— Dick Cheney's Dying Words In 2041: "Plormo is a must-play experience"
< Have A Good Demented Month Week . . . >
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Okay so they still won’t leave us alone. They’re still in Ted’s tag and just won’t go elsewhere now trying to make something of the mass unfollow Ted did for whatever reason he wanted.
But they’re still just harassing g the tag.
the best solution i can give you is to utilize the Block and Report buttons.
because they don't actually care about truth or justice or anything they try and masquerade this crusade as - they just want to ruin a man's life, plain and simple. there's absolutely no other way to spin it at this point.
it's been proven that the misconduct they've been so hellbent on crucifying him for is FALSE/COMPLETELY MADE UP and yet i still got to see with my own eyes "i don't care if that girl was lying, he still should go down for it". go down for a complete lie??? you're going to keep insisting he's a groomer when you have just admitted yourself that it's not true????
they also at one point tried to say this was "to protect the minor" in question. and yet doxxed her, slutshamed her, continue to keep calling her names and harassing her and her family. this is a child - one saying and doing stupid shit online that has done damage, yes, but a legitimate child. and these are grown ass adults trying to destroy her while flying the banner of "we must protect-" literally shut the fuck up, no one believes you. especially when they're still stalking and harassing said minor even as of just a few hours ago - a literal child, remind you.
they're deranged and have no lives - no one else would devote this much time to trying to destroy a B-list actor for no other reasons than petty revenge. and because he didn't give them the attention they wanted, because they formed a parasocial relationship with social media accounts they don't even know that he runs himself or alone.
no other explanation other than being chronically online and unhinged.
and frankly, it's pathetic.
don't give them your time, don't give them your attention. block, report, move on. you can hope they'll lose interest with time, but probably not soon, so just spare your peace of mind and ignore them
#these people still want to be like 'i @ed and spammed his replies for months!!! he has to have seen me and known all this!'#idk how to get it through their thick heads at this point that no celebrity - no matter how minor - has all notifications turned on#they've spammed and harassed literally anyone mentioning his name or associated with him and don't see the problem with their behavior#he probably still never saw any of their pathetic posting - it was probably someone else stepping in after being harassed by them online#parasocial relationship: an imagined relationship with someone a person does not actually know. they should learn this definition#also yes i do see things on twitter too - stalking that minor's account and combing through several years of tweets and likes#tell me how you're protecting her while you continue to slutshame and stalk and doxx her. i'm listening#the absolute gall to try and say this is to protect anyone - no you're just a demented asshole with no life. plain and simple
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#sick and demented that I didn't see them live when I had the chance#this song featured heavily in my nightly scenario crafting for many months#the head was happy
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Dilfslayer be careful when dating dilfs, ok? They are MASTER manipulators. I thought I was a pro at figuring them out, I've been raised by narcissists so I've developed a skill for spotting the signs of gaslighting and manipulation but these dilfs, man. They are PROS. Don't let them deceive you. If you want one, just use them for sex. Don't let your feelings anywhere near them. I'm not joking please be careful
Man I'm not fucking or dating the DILFs I'm hunting them for sport. Who hurt you? They will die by my sword.
#where did this come from I've been gone for like 2 months#i haven't dated in like 5 years I stopped giving a shit#I'll date when someone matches my level of demented but until then I have shit to do and horrors to create#enjoy some singleness for a while it's good it's free
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Basic Training XVIII
Peter Parker x Reader
Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, mentions of MURDER/violence/kidnapping, captivity, public sex, degradation, forced pregnancy, forced marriage, stockholm syndrome, ptsd, housewife kink, cop!Peter
➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | divider by @whimsicalrogers
➥ series masterlist
summary: A pit stop during a road trip ends tragically when a small town cop sets his sights on you. You’re the newest addition in a long standing fucked up family tradition.
~
What had once been a great fear of yours had turned into something akin to a comfort.
The basement was a lot of things—dark, isolating, and creepy to name a few—but in the weeks that you’d been exiled to it’s suffocating walls, you slowly found solace in being left with nothing but your solitude and your thoughts. At least it felt that way. In truth, you didn’t feel much of anything at all and had grown content in that feeling.
Or lack thereof.
The days blended together until it was one long endless stretch of darkness, and it gave you so much time to think. You thought about every decision that had landed you here, all the way from your first conscious memory to that fateful day when you and your friends stopped in some seemingly unassuming town for food. If you thought about it too hard, you could feel a chill creeping over your still form.
Lingering on the day your friends were murdered threatened to put you back in that headspace you’d been in when you were first brought to this house. Your breathing would become shallow at the memory of your erratic emotions and your inability to hold your bodily fluids and the time you’d nearly lost your mind at the mere sight of blood.
You had quite literally lost your mind.
You’d been driven insane by the abuse you’d suffered and had been forced to witness, mind shattering and falling apart from the actions of the same person tasked with putting it back together in whatever manner benefited him. Peter had torn you down and built you back up like some demented caregiver and despite the fact that you knew this—recognized this—you were essentially powerless to do anything about it.
You were in too deep, this was your life now, and such a thought was both comforting and suffocating. On the one hand, you knew what was in store for you. The rest of your days were laid out before you so meticulously, a breakdown of what every single day would be like for the rest of your life. In a way…it was relieving to think that you’d never have to expend any more effort into planning a single thing about your life ever again.
…but in the same breath, that was so tragic.
The excitement of possibilities and opportunities was something you’d never feel again. You’d never have that wonder about what the next day or month or even year would bring. You briefly recalled fleeting thoughts of grad school once and possibly living abroad for a while. Peter would never allow that, and even if he wanted to, Steve would never allow him to even consider the thought.
This was your life now.
Such a simple sentence brought on far too many emotions for you to handle, and so you didn’t. Handle them, that is. You didn’t feel anything and it didn’t just start and end with the complexities of your heart. You didn’t feel the pillow beneath your head nor the thin sheets over your frame. You didn’t even feel the shift in the room when someone—no doubt Margaret or Christine—opened the door and descended the stairs to bring you food.
Surely you ate.
You were still alive, after all, but you didn’t recall eating. Truth be told, you didn’t even recall bathing or using the bathroom. If you thought long and hard about it—struggling with your memory so much that it made you frown in the darkness—you could recollect brief flashes of memories that painted a picture.
Sharon’s worried face before you as she held some orange juice in front of your face, Margaret standing in front of you in the bathroom, tone pleading as she encouraged you to empty your bladder, and even Tony and Pepper standing over your bed as Pepper said something to him, her stricken expression clear even in hazy memories.
The days and everything that happened in them blended together so seamlessly that it all started to feel like a dream. How funny it was that you once feared the basement so much it was enough to give you a panic attack, and now that you were down here you felt the calmest you’d ever felt in months. You felt unreal—untouchable even in a way—and it wasn’t long before you forgot that this wasn’t meant to be forever.
You forgot that a day would come where Peter would come down—likely with Steve in tow—and tell you that your punishment was over and you could finally rejoin him amongst the world above ground. You didn’t know how you felt about that, and you found yourself wondering if you even wanted that.
Of course, you wanted that.
You couldn’t live in darkness and solitude forever, but stepping out of this room meant going back to the problems the basement currently shielded you from. When you stepped through that threshold again, Steve and Bucky and all of the other husbands would likely still be upset with you with the mentioned being more cross than the others. You would have to step back into an atmosphere where you weren’t trusted—again—and you’d have to earn it all back…again.
You supposed you still had friends in the wives, but who was to say. Yes, you’d remained silent when you witnessed Nat escape, but you had a feeling that someone like Margaret likely wouldn’t agree with what you did. You recalled a conversation you had with her once about the needs and sanctity of the house coming first. Allowing one of the wives to escape and possibly ruin everything wasn’t exactly in line with that.
Nat didn’t seem upset with you, at all the last time you saw her, but you didn’t truly know verbatim what Peter had said to Bucky to get him to take her out of the basement. Sure, he could’ve insinuated that keeping her down here and punishing her in a harsh manner after they’d been trying for a baby wasn’t smart, but he also could have flat out said to him that according to you, Nat thinks she's pregnant.
You only wanted to save her, and while you liked to think she’d understand if she knew you told Peter, you also weren’t so sure. You weren’t sure of a lot of things anymore, and your uncertainty about so much—the result of whatever truth you thought you were living being turned upside down—made you retreat into yourself even more.
“Y/N, you need to eat something…”
The familiar voice faintly reached your ears, and as you slowly turned your head, you thought to yourself that you hadn’t even heard Margaret open the door and walk down the stairs. She was staring at you with an expression you couldn’t quite name, and it was only after some time did you register the weight in your lap.
Your gaze landed on a tray of food, and as appetizing as the toast and eggs and sausage looked, you had no desire to eat. You felt lucid for the first time in ages, and you slowly blinked before shaking your head. The words to tell her you weren’t hungry were on the tip of your tongue, but the redhead spoke before you could find your voice.
“You barely ate anything yesterday. And the day before…and the day before,” she breathed. “Steve wants to see an empty plate.”
You blinked again at that, and despite the fact that she was repeating Steve’s words, you could see her own concern in her eyes. You struggled to recall just how long you’d been down here and just how many plates you’d barely touched. You couldn’t recall, and despite the nagging at the back of your mind, you couldn’t bring yourself to want to eat.
Even so, you and Margaret knew better than anyone how Steve could be, and so you slowly reached out for a piece of toast.
“I’ll eat,” was all you said.
She seemed relieved as she left you—albeit reluctantly—and you nibbled on the bread in your hand. The taste of it on your tongue made your stomach twist, and you put the rest of it back down without thinking. You had every intention of finishing it later, but once your food was set aside, all you wanted to do was sleep.
Your sleep wasn’t dreamless, and it rarely ever was. Sometimes you dreamt of your mom and your friends and your life before Peter took you for himself like some villain. Those dreams served nothing more than to torment you, and you often woke from them with tears in your eyes, vision blurry even in the darkness.
More often than not though, you dreamt of Peter and your life here. Sometimes it was awful nightmares about Steve—and even Bucky sometimes—where his handsome face was contorted in that perpetual frown it always seemed to be in when he laid eyes on you. Only it would be so much worse.
Your brain liked to conjure up visions of him where he was absolutely murderous, and it was no secret as to why. There’d been the brief moment here and there where you wondered if Steve would just say ‘to hell’ with all of his rules and get rid of you—in the most violent and dismissive fashion—and force Peter to find a sane wife.
A better one.
That left a bitter taste in your mouth…and you hated it.
You liked to think that the thought of Peter with someone else only upset you because you didn’t think any woman deserved to be subjected to this. You liked to think that righteously and noble of yourself, but the truth was much more demented and depraved and twisted. No woman did deserve any of this, that was true, but the thought of Peter loving someone else made your stomach churn.
You could say it until you were blue in the face that this wasn’t love—it couldn’t be—but it didn’t change how you felt. You couldn’t fathom the thought of being tossed aside and replaced, and being replaced by someone better would only add insult to the injury. It wasn’t fair that they got to break you until there was hardly anything left only to cast you aside because they didn’t like the inevitable results of their choices.
The thought made you want to be sick.
Peter would never, and you knew without a doubt that he would never, but for all that he put you through, the least he could do was remain by your side and look after you forever. Something deep within you hated him so much for what he did—the dark-haired man worse than you initially thought him to be—but a larger part, the part that had been carefully put back together by him, only wanted him to show an endless display of apologies for the rest of your days.
You deserved that.
You deserved to be free, but that was never happening, and as it were, could you even function properly if you were allowed to walk off of this property tomorrow? Your mind didn’t work the way it did before you were brought here. It had been taken apart and scrambled and replaced with one that wasn’t your doing. You feared that you would never be able to function right again, and who would want you?
Who would want you besides Peter?
You were an abused, broken, and genuinely unwell mess…and Peter loved you for it…in his own way. You could see it in his eyes whenever he looked at you that the thought of losing you would send him over the edge, and you knew you felt the same, but you were sure it was for entirely different reasons. At this point in your life…what were you without Peter?
When you weren’t dreaming of your friends and family, and when you weren’t conjuring up nightmares of a familiar blond, you were dreaming about the man who put you into this mess. Sometimes you dreamt about who he actually was and in those dreams there was no doubt about his motives and his actions and you felt the appropriate fear when staring into his eyes.
…but more often than not you dreamt about the man he manipulated you into loving. You dreamed about welcoming him home from work and kissing him and touching him. You dreamed about the days where he simply held you as you cried, conveniently ignoring that he was the reason for your tears. In this house of horrors, Peter was your safe place, and you knew that was purposely done, but again, you felt powerless to do anything about it.
It shouldn’t be that way, but your only other choice was to spend the rest of your days in torment.
“She hasn’t eaten properly in weeks,” the soft words reached your ears, and you knew they weren’t meant for you.
There was a beat of silence, and as you were slowly gripped by consciousness, you took note of the smell of food. It didn’t tempt you, and you almost turned your head away.
“Do you think it’s because of Peter?”
Jane.
You absentmindedly wondered why she was down here and not resting. You hated to think that she’d come down here just to check in on you when she should’ve been looking after herself. You felt her hand on your head.
“She hasn’t seen him in a month…and we know how she—how they can get…”
You squeezed your eyes tight at that, heart aching for the first time in forever at those words. Had it been that long already? Had you really gone a month without seeing him, talking to him, touching him? Was that the cause of this…numbness? You were sure Peter wasn’t the only factor here, but you couldn’t deny that you missed him. You weren’t used to being without him, and this was the longest you’d ever gone without being with him since you first woke up in this house.
…but you knew that this was as much of a punishment for him as it was for you.
What if he didn’t miss you at all? What if you were in hell while each day only brought him more peace not having to be around the crazy one? That thought made your heart ache more, and for a brief moment, you never wanted to see him again.
“Steve only thinks it’s been a handful of times, but she’s not eating. At first, we weren’t too alarmed, especially considering…”
You placed Margaret’s voice now as she trailed off.
“...but then every tray just went basically untouched, and she’s lost a lot of weight. I think we need to tell Steve to contact Dr. Banner.”
You recalled a familiar face with glasses and dark hair.
“She doesn’t use the bathroom every day either. She mostly sleeps,” the redhead added.
“Have you mentioned this to Peter?”
“So he can come barging down here and start a whole other thing with Steve? They’ve only just settled back into being civil with one another. If Peter finds out she’s like this…”
Margaret scoffed, and you detected the unease in her tone.
You had never thought about the aftermath that followed your punishment and how it might have affected things upstairs. You had never thought to, you supposed. You had just assumed that Peter would fall in line with what Steve wanted as usual. After all, no matter how you felt about what you’d done, the household—or more importantly the husbands—did not agree. You’d broken their rules, and rules were rules.
It had never occurred to you that this whole ordeal—and you being at the center of it—might cause friction between Peter and Steve.
You were pulled from your thoughts by the sound of your name, and you were loathed to admit that it took so much of your strength to open your eyes. Jane was as pregnant as ever and glowing, and she gave you a small smile when your gazes met.
“Do you want to try eating something today?
Her tone was light, but you detected a hint of pleading.
Your gaze shifted, and you looked at the tray of food in Margaret’s hands. You eyed it, wanting to eat for their peace of mind if nothing else, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. You swallowed, and Jane must have seen the guilt and conflict in your eyes.
“It’s okay,” she assured you. “You don’t have to.”
You didn’t miss Margaret’s look.
“We’ll leave it here, and you eat when you’re ready.”
She touched your face, and with a few lingering looks, they left you.
It wasn’t long before you dozed off again, but it wasn’t a deep sleep, and you drifted in and out of consciousness. It felt like no matter how much you slept, you just couldn’t shake the feeling of being exhausted. Exhausted, not tired. Your whole body seemed to ache, and you dreaded the moment you’d have to get up and shower.
The next time you were even halfway lucid, you felt a hand at your back and a spoon at your lips. On instinct, you turned your head away, but the person’s hand was firm.
“None of that. You need something on your stomach,” the voice was just as firm as the grip, and it was comfortingly familiar.
Your eyes widened a bit at the familiar face, and you unintentionally parted your lips, allowing her to give you a taste of broth. It took you by surprise, and you coughed a bit, but swallowed it nonetheless. Nat gave you another spoonful, and so in shock at her presence, you accepted it.
“Sharon’s supposed to be in my place…but…Steve and Bucky are at work,” she shrugged, and you couldn’t take your eyes off of her. “...and I had to see you.”
For the first time in a month or so, you felt…something. For a brief moment, your perpetual numbness had lifted, and you both spoke at the same time.
“I’m sorry.”
It was said by two different voices, but it echoed as one.
“You’re sorry…?” Confusion filled you. “Why are you sorry?”
Your voice was small and unsure, and Nat looked so like you were unused to seeing her. She was normally so strong and fierce—a great source of envy for you—but now she looked sad…and regretful.
“You felt more obligated to protect me than yourself…and had I thought for a moment that you’d see me…I never would’ve left.”
Your shoulders fell at that, and you hated that Nat felt…guilty over your predicament. Your own choices had led you here, and that was what you told her after clearing your throat.
“It doesn’t change the fact that I thought the best thing that could happen was I’d get help and we’d all leave this place…and the worst was that I’d get dragged back,” she fed you more broth. “Not once had I considered that someone else would get dragged into my mess.”
You didn’t quite know how to respond, because after all, you didn’t really agree with her. You hadn’t felt obligated to do anything. It seemed like a no brainer to you to not say that you saw her that night. It was never even a question, never even a consideration to tell Peter Nat had escaped.
You swallowed, only taking a tiny sip when she offered you another spoonful. The green-eyed woman frowned at that.
“Nat…”
The words were on the tip of your tongue, but she merely shook her head.
“Bucky was practically ready to flog me for leaving him,” she lightly said despite the severity of the topic. “When they threw me down in here, I was prepared for it. Even with my possible delicate condition.”
Your eyes met hers, and she sent you a crooked smile.
“I knew only one person could talk them out of whatever they prepared to do to me…and I knew there was only one thing you could say that would change their minds…” you bit your lip at that. “Thankfully, I thought wrong, but even if I was pregnant, I’d still understand why you did it.”
She gave a small, bitter laugh.
“I may not have agreed with it nor been the biggest supporter of that decision…but I get it,” she shrugged. “After they found out what you did, I think I was scared for you more than I’d ever been scared for anyone…and I imagine that’s what you’d felt like.”
Your gaze found the sheet on your legs.
“If I had known something that could save you too, I might’ve done the same.”
When she offered you more broth, you sadly shook your head. A look passed over her features at that, and her face fell. She set the spoon back in the bowl with a small sigh before standing.
“I had to check on you,” she told you. “They said you haven’t been eating, and I didn’t realize how bad it was…”
You noticed the way she eyed you, and you suddenly had the urge to find a mirror. She set the bowl down, and she looked unsure about it.
“I’m going to leave this here. Just in case…” she trailed off, a bout of worry crossing her features. “I’ll come check on you again when I can.”
You nodded at her words, but the shock from Nat’s presence and the few sips of broth had taken more energy than you cared to focus on, and you were already sliding back down in bed.
It took her a long time to climb the stairs and shut the door behind her.
It could’ve been days later when you heard the low timber of a voice that wasn’t wholly familiar to you. It scratched some part of your brain, but not enough for you to pinpoint where you’d heard the tone before. Unfamiliar fingers were prodding at your face and neck, and the feel had you frowning in your semi consciousness.
The man hummed to himself.
He was speaking, but you were in and out of sleep, so you couldn’t tell—nor cared—if he was speaking to you or someone else whose presence you weren’t aware of. A voice spoke back, and both sounded so muffled and far away to you.
You felt those same fingers on other parts of your body, as well as cold metal, and the intense temperature against your warm skin made you jolt a bit. You pushed at the hand, but a voice shushed you, but it didn’t sound close enough to have the intended soothing effect. Words were exchanged again, but you were already falling back asleep.
It was a dreamless sleep, the first in a long time, and it made the passage of time feel like a blink.
A voice so hauntingly and achingly familiar to you reached your ears, and you thought you were dreaming.
“I don’t give a fuck about what Steve would’ve wanted. His wife is healthy and coherent and probably getting ready to give him another Goddamn baby,” the voice hissed, interrupting a smaller more feminine one. “She’s been like this for weeks, and no one said a word to me.”
“Peter-.”
“Dr. Banner should’ve been here weeks ago. I should’ve known about this weeks ago. I should have seen her weeks ago…!”
Sleep was pulling you back in again, and the louder the voice got, the more it started to fade. The wrathful pitch grew higher and higher but also fainter and fainter until it was gone entirely, and sleep welcomed you again.
Your mind was struggling to put pieces together, and in your sleep, you thought to yourself that those words sounded like they came from some demented doppelganger, the tone sounding so much like Peter but not at the same time. You had never heard him so angry, and a voice in your head convinced you that you dreamt it, used to a sweet disposition from your dark captor, the dichotomy of which never failed to throw you into greater mental turmoil.
When your senses came to you again, you felt stronger than you had in probably two months at this point. You weren’t entirely sure, completely confused by the passage of time. The basement smelled different, and even the bed felt different, but as you shifted, you understood why.
The numbness that you had started to find comfort in was gone, and you could feel the bed and pillows and sheets beneath you…and they felt familiar. Too familiar. They felt like home. They felt like the place where you’d spent hours in Peter’s arms and hours sleeping and hours accepting the affections of the man who’d kidnapped you.
You thought you might have conjured the feeling up, but then you inhaled, and Peter’s scent filled your nose, and you thought of the nights he’d slept here alone in your absence. The faintest of touches disturbed the back of your hand, so featherlight that you could almost ignore it, but the slight pressure in your chest wouldn’t let you.
When you opened your eyes, his face was the first thing you saw.
His hair was a little longer, a little curlier and brushing his ears, and his face was as pretty as ever, but the dark circles beneath his eyes betrayed his sleepless nights. Had you the strength to move, you would’ve reached out to touch them.
Peter was knelt beside the bed you shared and his hand was in yours and his brown eyes lit up at the sight of your own. His face shifted so suddenly and seamlessly that you would've sworn he’d been smiling at your sleeping face this entire time instead of with that pinched brow and clenched jaw you’d been initially met with.
“Hey,” he softly and slowly greeted, dragging the word out in a whisper. “...my pretty girl.”
You swallowed, blinking a few times before briefly glancing around to confirm you were where you thought you were. Your gaze caught onto the medical equipment by the bed, blinking at the bag two feet above you with unidentifiable liquid in it. You absentmindedly reached up with your free hand as you traced the direction of the tube.
“Hey, hey,” Peter softly admonished, taking your other hand too. “Don’t touch it.”
You looked down at the feeding tube going into your chest, and you felt your heart skip a beat. Confusion filled you, and you were just about to speak when Peter let one of your hands go to take your chin instead. Still in the process of escaping sleep, you could only blink at him, a million questions running through your mind that you didn’t have the capability to voice.
“You’re really weak and…you haven’t been eating,” you watched his face as he said this, and you took note of the dark shadow that passed over his features, and you thought to yourself that perhaps you hadn’t dreamt that interaction at all. “Dr. Banner gave you that because you need to eat.”
Peter appeared to get choked up, and your eyes widened a tad. Sniffing, he rose a bit to press his lips to yours, fingers brushing over your cheek.
“You need to eat, you need all your strength,” you felt his tears on your face. “...because we’re going to have a baby.”
He pulled away only enough to look into your eyes, his own looking between them as he spoke.
“My pretty girl is going to have a baby,” he whispered more to himself than you. “...and you want her to be healthy and fat, don’t you?”
His thumb brushed over your lips, but it was hard to focus on anything he said after ‘baby’.
“I need you both healthy,” he said, voice cracking, and he kissed you again.
His arms circled around you, and you felt his wet face fall to rest against your neck and shoulder. He kissed the skin there that peeked through above the large shirt, his whispered happy words reaching your ear.
“My baby’s having a baby.”
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