#delicious in dungeon should definitely be in the mix

[thedollopheadofcamelot]

The gangs 🥺💞

[ecargmura]

Ron Kamonohashi's Forbidden Deductions Episode 17 Review - Beach Date With Mofu

The end of a case means the start of a new one! Why is it that whenever Ron and Toto try to go somewhere, whether it be a date or for work, murder mysteries just have to cockblock or even be a third wheel? I know it’s the premise of the story, but can’t these two have some fun without someone dying? It makes them look like a misfortune magnet.

It’s also nice to see Dr. Mofu again! Her clumsiness is seriously on par with Ron and Toto’s misfortune magnet. Heck, even her phone is looking worse than it did back in Episode 6. How can that thing still function with all those cracks? Anyways, Mofu’s role in the story to make Ron a medicine where it suppresses his condition. However, because it’s filled with substances that can be dangerous when mixed in together, Mofu has to be there to witness Ron taking it so he won’t endanger himself. Oh and she moved to his apartment complex as a new tenant because her previous place was almost destroyed because of her. Damn, just how much of a klutz can she be? Oh and Mofu is revealed to know Ron’s secret as he told her. It was sweet when she said that she supports them. She’s such a sweetie.

It’s sweet that Toto wanted Ron to have some R&R and suggested the beach as he didn’t want to listen to the rest of Ron’s bucket list. I just find his care for Ron so endearing. It’s nice that he also recommended that Spitz should come along, but he doesn’t seem like he did as the beach trip was only Ron, Toto and Mofu. Maybe he’s somewhere in the shadows like he usually is?

I’m actually surprised to see a beach episode where there isn’t that much fan service. The only real fan service was Mofu wearing a swimsuit and she rocked it alongside the platypus outfit. Toto also had an image of Ron wearing a platypus outfit for fan service too. I guess the biggest fan service was Ron and Toto holding hands as the former dragged the latter to the concerned surfers.

The murder mystery for this two-parter is about a surfer who drowned. Apparently, he had food poisoning from the food shop and wanted to settle things but never came back. This made his friends worried. Ron noticed that the surfer was wearing a dry suit, which is more suitable for a diver and not a surfer. I am afraid of water, so I absolutely am afraid of drowning, so seeing him drown in the beginning and then seeing the aftermath of it was a bit scary on my part. The culprit is obviously the store manager as he’s definitely responsible. He should be fired or have his store closed down because why the heck is he serving expired eggs to customers? Is he purposely trying to poison people? And it’s obvious that the murder had to do something with ice as all of his shaved ice disappeared when it hasn’t been the afternoon yet and the beach isn’t even that crowded. Definitely fishy.

Also, I’m always surprised with how this anime casts big named voice actors as very minor characters that are either the culprit or die off. For example, Episode 6 had Kenta Miyake as Torao, Episode 10 had Sayaka Senbongi, Maaya Uchida and Yui Ishikawa as those three girls from the cafe incident, and Katsuyuki Konishi as Spitz’s missing brother. I’m sure anime fans definitely recognize those names. For this episode, the manager is voiced by Nobuyuki Hiyama, whom you may know as Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho and Adult Link from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. What’s funny is that he was also in Scarlet Nexus as Karen Travers so this episode is a mini-Scarlet Nexus reunion as Toto is voiced by Junya Enoki who also voiced Yuito. One of the two surfer friends is voiced by Kentaro Kumagai, who has been a rising star lately as he voiced Laios from Delicious In Dungeon.

Anyways, I’m surprised this is a two-parter. It did feel as if it should be one episode, but I guess the production staff wanted to extend it. I guess it’s better to extend cases rather than rush everything and make it be odd. What do you think about this episode?

[tournesolia]

Chaos Lineage Yuma Chapter 5 Translation

Place : Dungeon

Yuma : Hey, here's the food

Kou : Horraaaay ! What is it today ? I'm already starving. Let's eat quick !

Yui : Geez, Kou-kun...

Azusa : Huh... ? There's four parts... ?

Yuma : It's our part. Don't eat them

Kou : You bother eating in jail ? Uwaaah, you have strange tastes

Yuma : Shut up. Any place's fine with me

Yui : Hehe...

We've been serving food to the prisoners

Kou-kun and Azusa-kun for several days.

I wonder if they were pleased or not.

These two got totally used to live

in this prison.

And Yuma-kun and I spent several

days enjoying this daily routine.

Yui : (I was a little surprised when Yuma-kun talked about “eating in jail”)

(Being with these two surely calms his mind)

(He doesn't get irritated even if I talk about them. Speaking of that previous time when he suck my blood...)

(When you think about it, he was... jealous, right ?)

Yuma : Hey, you ! I told you to not eat my part !

Kou : It's fiiiine, don't be so stingy. If you have leftovers, you should give them to me

Yuma : There's no leftovers. I just haven't eaten yet !

Azusa : This is Kou's... bad habit...

Yui : (Somehow, it's as if the Mukami family was back)

(I hope we can release them as quick as possible, though...)

Scene change : Scarlet mansion – Corridor

Yui : It was fun. These two enjoyed the meal and found it delicious

Yuma : Those guys have no sense of crisis or what ? They've already sent their request for the next meal...

Yui : Now that you mention it, is it because you properly listen to them ? You both completely got along

Yuma : Say who !? … And you didn't forget, right ?

Yui : Eh ? What ?

Yuma : I'm your owner. So if I see you waging your tail to other men...

I'll add more biting marks all over your body that won't disappear. Remember that

Yui : Y-Yes...

(As I thought, Yuma-kun's jealous)

(I'm a little happy despite being under such circumstances...)

*footsteps approaching

Shu : … Hey

Yui : Ah, Shu-san...

Yuma : Ah ? What's up ? You're making a scary face

Shu : You went to the cellar again, huh ? Don't get too attached to them

Yuma : I'm not getting attached to them

Shu : I wonder. Can't you see they're just pretending to be friends with you ?

Yuma : Hey, what you wanna say ? Stop beating around the bush

Shu : Okay. I'll be straigth then : you’re too naive.

Yuma : … What did you just say ?

Shu : I'm saying you leave yourself wide open

Those guys are from the Violets. It's those same guys who came spying on us as ordered by their leader

Didn't you even think that they're deceiving you to steal Eve when you're off guard ?

Yuma : There’s no way those guys would do that !

Shu : … !

Yui : Yuma-kun...

Yuma : I'm not swayed by emotions. I'm not at their beck and call either. I'm acting on my own will

I won't hand Eve over. Not just to those guys, but to anyone who comes !

Yui : (Yuma-kun is openly angry towards Shu-san...)

Shu : … I see. Then that's fine

But don't forget. Those guys you're sharing dinner with... are enemies

*Shu leaves

Yuma : … I know that

Shit, why am I protecting them... ?

Yui : (… I want to tell him something, but what should I say ?)

(It's frustrating... I know the truth but there's nothing I can do...)

Scene change : Scarlet mansion – Yuma's room

Yuma : …

Yui : Yuma-kun, shouldn't we go to the vegetable garden today ?

Yuma : … Yeah... We'll go later

Yui : Okay...

(It looks like he's more and more lost in thoughts recently)

(I know he's troubled about Kou-kun and Azusa-kun, but what should I do...?)

Choice 1 : Stay close to him (white roses)

Yui : (If I talk to him about something, it may just make him confused)

(Let's just stay by his side for now...)

Yuma : … What the hell is that ?

Yui : Eh... ?

Yuma : I don't get it anymore. My head knows that they're just enemies and prisoners, but...

Choice 2 : Talk to him (black roses)

Yui : Yuma-kun, are you okay ?

Yuma : What's with that “Are you okay ?” ?

Yui : You're always lost in thoughts. So if you're okay with me, tell me what's wrong ?

Yuma : Heh, you talk big for someone who can't do anything

Yui : Uh... I'm sorry

– End of choices

Yuma : … Hey, why do I care about those guys ? Isn't it weird from your point of view ?

Yui : Normally, you don't eat and get along with prisoners who are your enemies...

Yuma : Yeah...

Yui : But when you want to do it, you do it, right ?

If so, you don't mind about what the others think

It's just like you to live being honest with your own feelings

Yuma : You...

Yui : (It's not good, did I say too much...?)

Yuma : Geez, it's uncool... to be comforted by a woman I treat as a tool

You're right, it's not like me to twiddle my thumbs

Yui : Yuma-kun...

Yuma : I'm not gonna lower my guard to my enemies, I won't forgive them if they try something

But there's no point in directing my sword towards those guys now

That's my true feelings. I won't hesitate

Yui : Yes, you're right. That's what I think as well

Yuma : Heh, you're very weird as well for caring about someone like me

Yui : Is that so ? It's because when I see someone troubled, I want to become his strength

(Especially Yuma-kun...)

Yuma : Heeh... If you want to comfort me so much...

*Yuma pins her down on the bed

Yui : Kyaa !?

Yuma : You should comfort me by doing that kind of thing

Yui : T-That kind of thing is a bit...

Yuma : What ? I thought you'd freak out but you're embarrassed ? It's not all bad either

I'm joking. It was my first intention but I changed my mind

Yui : Eeeh !?

Yuma : I'll suck from your arm for once. Make a good voice, sow. *sucks blood

Yui : Yuma-ku... Ah... !

(It's just a little, but he's more gentle than before...?)

(He's supposed to bite me strongly, and yet, I don't feel just pain, but rather...)

Yuma : What's with that dreamy look ? You don't hate it this time

Yui : Ah... That's because...

Yuma : Are you feeling that good ? Then I'll suck from the nape of your neck as well... *sucks blood

Yui : Uh... Uwah...

Yuma : So sweet... What's that ? It became thicker than before... ?

Holy shit... I can't stop... *sucks blood

Yui : Ah... Haa... Aah... !

(It's as if... Yuma-kun regained his memories when he sucks my blood...)

(As it is... I will fall endlessly...)

Yuma : Haa... That was close... I was just about to kill you from sucking too much...

Guh... This again...

Yui : What's wrong... ?

Yuma : … It immediately cooled down... Guuh...

Yui : (He's holding his head again... ? It looks like a dizziness...)

Yuma : … Haa... Haa... Why's that happening every time... ?

Yui : Is this happening many times... ?

Yuma : Yeah, when I drink your blood... I always feel weird. So that happens...

I'm seeing weird things for a moment, as if something was mixed in my head...

Yui : That's...

(Could it be a sign he's regaining his memories ? Is this happening every time he sucks my blood ?)

*Yuma moves back

Yui : (Now that I think about it, I regained my memories because Yuma-kun sucked my blood)

(If this is the trigger, I'll have him suck more of my blood...!)

(… That's what I would like to say, but... My body wouldn't keep up with it...)

*door knock

Yui : … !?

Yuma : Who's this ?

Kino : It's me. Reiji's gathering everyone in the living room. Bring Eve with you as well

Yuma : Ah, 'kay...

… If I bring you in that state, that Reiji guy's gonna yell at me

Yui : Ah... It's okay. I can move my body now

(I'm a little anemic but it's something I got used to... Yes, I'll be fine)

Yuma : Wait a little. I'll make those bite marks disappear first... *licks

Yui : Eh... ?

(For Yuma-kun to take care of me like this...)

Yuma : Well, I'll get scolded if they're visible, but I just have to do that much

Yui : T-Thank you...

(Yuma-kun's definitely changing. He's really returning to his original-self little by little--)

Feeling that I can see even a little hope,

I clenched my fists very hard without

knowing it.

However, the moment things went calm,

it moved into something cruel--

Scene change : Scarlet mansion – Living room and dining room

Reiji : Allow me to get straight to the point. We will break into the Violet mansion

Yui : … !!

Kino : You went for a bold strategy, huh. For us to start the fight...

Shu : Eve's here so there's no point going all the way to their mansion, right ?

Reiji : No, on the contrary, we shouldn't miss this opportunity

It's been a few days since we captured Kou and Azusa, but the Violets showed no signs of moving

Do they think they're dead ? Or they don't feel like looking for them... ?

At any rate, the Violets are now composed of Carla, Laito and Subaru

Shu : You mean it's a great opportunity to crush them ?

Reiji : That's right. There's nothing better than having another cumbersome family disappear

Therefore, I will share you the strategy right now. Please listen carefully

Yui : (Breaking in... the Violet mansion ? Laito-kun and Subaru-kun are here, and yet, Reiji-san...!)

(Shu-san doesn't care a bit either ? If anyone suffers from a fatal injury--)

Yuma : Hey, you... Are you okay ?

Yui : I... I'm fine

Yuma : You don't look like it. You're shamefully trembling

You won't be in danger. I'm your guard, right ?

Yui : Y-Yes...

(What should I do ? Talk to Yuma-kun ? No, I would just confuse him)

(But it's different from the time Kou-kun and Azusa-kun got captured... If they fight, it will become a mortal combat !)

Reiji : … You there, have you listened to what I said ?

Yui : I-I'm sorry... !

Yuma : Don't scold me over such a minor matter. Anyway, we just have to capture the rest of the Violets, right ?

Reiji : Good grief... I won't allow any mistake. Do you understand ?

Yuma : I get it

Reiji : Then, this talk is over. Stand ready before we carry out the plan

Also, Yuma, make sure the two prisoners don't escape, just in case

Yuma : … !

'Kay... I get it

As Eve, since I will stay in this mansion,

Shu-san will also stay as the guardian.

Yuma-kun might not be my guard because

they're suspicious regarding the two prisoners.

The preparations progressed steadily and

I ended up seeing off Yuma-kun, Reiji-san

and Kino-san without doing anything.

And then--

They came back. Carla-san, Laito-kun and

Subaru-kun were captured...

Place : Scarlet mansion – Entrance hall

Laito : What a bad treatment you give to an injured person

Subaru : You bastards... I'll remember that !

Kino : Yeah yeah, don't struggle

Yui : Subaru-kun, Laito-kun !

(They're terribly injured... ! So much blood...!)

Reiji : Shu, hurry up and bring those three to the dungeon

Shu : How troublesome... Come with me obediently. Don't waste my time

Carla : Hmph... I have no intention to act indecent now

Yui : Even Carla-san was captured...

*Shu leaves with the three violets

Reiji : Please don't get any closer to them. We can't let them do anything strange after this

Yui : O... Okay...

(I'm glad everyone's alive, but... We must treat their injuries quick)

(I surely won't be allowed to do that, though. Should I just... leave them to the Scarlets ?)

Kino : Anyway, what happened to you, Yuma ? Did you eat something weird ?

Yuma : What ?

Kino : You weren't full of spirit today. You usually rush into the fight first

Reiji : He's right. This dreamy attitude when the enemy's here isn't something you should praise

Yuma : Shut up. Everything went well so who cares ?

Reiji : Your behavior is intolerable these last days. You know what will happen if you keep this on, right ?

Yuma : Tch...  I know

Reiji : Good. Then, I'll go check on the prisoners' condition. Kino, follow me

Kino : Alright. I can't wait to look at their chagrined face

*Reiji and Kino leave

Yuma : … What's wrong with you ? You look pale again

Yui : You too...

Yuma : Aah ? I'm normal. They didn't struggle much

But...

Yui : But ?

Yuma : Those Violet guys said “What happened to Kou and Azusa ?”

They're their own brothers, so they should be worried about them. But... something felt very wrong with me

“That's my line !”... was what I thought right at that time...

Yui : That's...

(… not something wrong. As Kou-kun and Azusa-kun's brother, Yuma-kun is really worried)

(Would it be better to tell him the truth since he's suffering so much ?)

Yuma : … I'll go look at the dungeon as well. That Kino guy may excessively torture them again

Yui : Ah... Then I'll go as well

Yuma : Don't come. It's different from when only Kou and Azusa were captured. Carla's here this time

I'll handle this roughly no matter what

Yui : But...

Yuma : Go to sleep first. See ya

*Yuma leaves

Yui : Ah...

(Nobody's dead, but a fight did happen. And they all got captured...)

(Even though they're brothers, why do they have to fight each other ?)

(Why is this happening, seriously...?)

Chapter 5 : End

[spoopysammymoose]

So... my tiefling character is deciding to act out like a teenager, since she never really had the chance growing up...

DM: The chapel seems to still be a wreck, rubble is strewn about and the pillars still show damage from Argynvost's assault. But the stained glass has been replaced and repaired. On it a stunning depiction of Tatanya ascending into the sky. Sergei is there but an ugly smear of red obscures his image, the red runs down to the frame. In the distance Ithil can hear the sound of an organ.

Ithil: In the back of her mind, Ithil wonders who would have had this made, as she was sure Strahd would not have had Sergei included at all. She looks for a moment at the image of Tatanya with a smile, glad that she really was gone from this place. Ithil continues on, heading towards the sound of the organ.

DM: The organ music gets louder as she wanders down the main corridor leading to the front door. The music seems to flow from an open door to the left, a decayed dining hall last you knew. The music is somber but fast, like a melancholy waltz.

Ithil: She continues to head towards the sound, having not heard this sort of music before. It was.... sad... but deep and beautiful.

DM: You walk past the main junction without incident, the grand stair case lies empty and the front door is closed tight. You stand before the room with the music, the doors closed. You can smell the sickening mix of delicious food, rot, and dust.

Ithil: Ithil goes towards the doors, pausing with her hand near the handle for a moment before opening it. She opens it slowly, not wanting to disturb the sanctity of the playing.

DM: The music washes over you, making you feel almost warm. But that warmth is quickly replaced by a chill of fear as your eyes unwrap the scene before you. The table is set for a small dinner, five figures sit at the table in various states of decay, their dinner rotting before them. The candles of the table are brightly lit, illuminating their demise. One was speared by an arrow through the eye. Another seems to have had their heart ripped out. A third lies face first in a bowl. A forth lies chained to their chair, their whole figure wilted and thin. and a fifth still struggles in their chair. Iron straps bind him to the chair. At the head of the table a figure sits with his back to you, his black cape hiding much of his figure. He plays the organ with vigor, pouring his whole body into the music. The music ends with a flourish of his hands, leaving you in deafening silence. For a moment, all is still, then with a sweep of his cape he stands and turns to you. His face contorted in fury. Strahd Von Zarovich.

Ithil: Having been noticed, she feels her mouth break into a nervous grin and she fully enters the room, looking around at the gore. "Love what you've done with the place..."

DM: His face seems to calm a bit, and he silently walks to his bound prisoner, placing his hands on the vampire's shoulders. "Much has changed about this place, but it seems your meddling has not, Ithil." "My servants lie dead and a soon to be bride has gone missing, I can only assume your hand was the cause of this." You notice despite his calm voice and inviting expression, his nails dig deep into the vampires shoulders.

Ithil: Her smile brightens and she begins to shrug off her layers of cloaks onto a nearby chair. She gives a bit of a shrug and finds a bit of the table to lean on. "Ah, it seems you do know my name afterall. We never really talked the last time that I was here." She studied the wall a bit. "At that time though I'll admit I was quite a bit weaker and stupid... well, you could say I'm stupid for being where I am right now after what I've done but.... I don't regret it." Ithil's eyes wander over to the organ. "You play beautifully, that was something I did not know."

DM: Strahd: "I make a point of learning all about those that have killed me. As for your intelligence I can only assume you're cunning, at best, an imbecile at worst. Whether luck or skill has influenced your deeds, only time will tell." He glances at the discarded cloaks with a disinterested gaze. "The music is something I have been working on for years now, a tribute to Tatanya. But I fear it will never be perfect."

Ithil: Her eyebrow raises at that. "Music will never be perfect, as nothing ever is, but we take things as they are and enjoy them while we can. So... you really did love her." She pauses for a heavy moment. "I don't blame you for that, I was even moved when her soul appeared. She was beautiful and gentle... I wish I had known her. We knew Ireena but... she was definitely different."

DM: "She, WAS perfect. The music, and Ireena were only a pale reflection. As well as Marina, Vela, and the rest." He releases the vampires shoulders, leaving deep claw marks. "She was mine, and mine alone. And you took her from me; for that I will destroy you piece by piece." He looks up at you, anger deep in his eyes. "But you know that, so why are you here? Have you given up all hope of escape this time? Surely you would at least put up a fight."

Ithil: She hisses, her own claws digging into the table and her eyes snapping over to him. "Don't think me a coward or a lunatic! For those I am neither. You would be gravely mistaken if you think I am not holding back fear or a desire to start firing off my spells. Those are natural impulses and I could definitely entertain you with a fight if you wanted. But I am not here for that." She takes the Staff of Power and throws it next to her cloaks. "Fighting you on my own would be an instant death, though apparently many of your servants were not so much of a challenge." Ithil actually laughs out loud. "The one in the dungeons mocking the wizard with the one he had killed, he was already seized by the prisoner by the time I showed up and I stood right in the open. He didn't even see me there." She steps away from the table and crosses her arms, a snarl still on her face. "My original plans were only to help my party's friend when I came here, however I got tripped up on how many innocents had already been captured by this place. If I let them be, then I likely would face elimination by my own allies." Her eyes close for a brief moment and she attempts to relax herself. "Sometimes I hate the part of me that is a demon, usually its whispers don't take hold of me so readily but this time it has. My first time being trapped here broke a major part of my teachings though I shouldn't be so surprised. I didn't have the best Master. The scars on my back are proof enough of that." Her blank eyes open once again. "But that doesn't matter, what matters to me is that because of this place, my beliefs on vampires and the undead are confused. I should hate them, but I don't. My confusion keeps leading me here."

DM: Strahd puts a hand to his chin, pondering. He slowly begins to circle the table. "So, here you stand. Weapons discarded but my servants humiliated and my play things escaped. Your teachings muddled and your curiosity... " Strahd picks up a rotten apple. "... Ravenous." Strahd lets the apple tip out of his hand, it hits the ground with a sour squish. "It is strange that Exethanther cannot quench your confusion, instead you have sought out me... your captor, your lord, your undoing. If I were a less patient man I would be satisfied with snapping your neck here and now, or even turning you, finally becoming a monster so much of the world thinks your kind was born to be. Perhaps that's what you desire..."

Ithil: Instead of revealing any form of fear or distaste, her lips curled upwards in a devilish grin. "Ah but just simply killing me now would be.... so boring." Absentmindedly, she approached the table again and began to flick something on one of the corpses. "I have sought Exethanther near three times now. The dark gods have their appeals but... even some my other half finds horrific. We recently have slain a broken man there whom had accepted every gift the gods put forth. His mind was lost, it's not something I desire. His own profession lies in necromancy, and while he amuses me, I understand him. It's the vampires I can't figure out. Escher seeming to have been completely bound to you and now out there with that other group, also being led by our lost companion." She smirks. "And to think my group hated her so for practically doing what I am now."

DM: "She was a fool, then and now. Kept safe solely by means beyond even me. Escher... " His lips curl in disgust. "A coward seeking only the lavish things he desired in life. He will rot in a prison of his own making, I will see to that." He waves his hand away, dismissing the thought, Strahd sets his eyes on Ithil gesturing at her with his outstretched hand. "Ironic that you, of all people think vampires difficult to understand while you stand defenseless before me. I struggle to understand your intentions Ithil, you argue against lunacy yet I can assure you that you will not leave my castle alive." He circles closer, lifting up the dead figure in the bowl for effect. He drops the head, its impact shattering the bowl. "Killing you outright would be terribly boring and a disgrace for how much strife you have caused me... perhaps I should have you brought before your allies and kill you there."

Ithil: She watches him, her eyes bored. "I have no intentions of fleeing either, for I know what happened last time, even though I am uncertain if Bucephalus has indeed returned to you." Her head tilts onto her shoulder, "I'd apologize for some of my previous discretions except I desired a bit of revenge. I did not have many blows against you in that final battle and I must say I carried quite a bit of anger for my last moments almost being a fish.... flying through the air." Ithil's expression becomes unamused for a moment before she shakes her head and brushes it away. "I'm willing to trade.... some information in return for some answers. Whatever you decide to do to me afterwards.... or before...." she sighs sadly, "I honestly do not care what happens to me. But I have to warn you... do not underestimate my allies." Her gaze is steady. "I spent all of last night in one of the north towers, undisturbed and left to be well-rested. Security could be... better here." Ithil holds back a small giggle. "Afterall I guess my presence here and my activities over the last day have shown some obvious weaknesses here. I don't want to be so bored."

DM: Strahd laughs. "Your life in return for an... interview? I must say I am surprised, but this has held my interest. As for the castle, most dare not venture here and those that do often have my invitation." He has finally circled around to Ithil, standing between her equipment and her. "I will tell you all you want to know Ithil and perhaps you might do a better job at defending my castle from intruders..." His eyes seem to spark, inviting you in. Give me a wisdom saving throw.

Ithil: 11

DM: The eyes fill you with peace and you feel yourself relax next to him. Strahd smirks and turns away and takes a seat at the head of the table. He steeples his fingers and looks at Ithil. "Ask me whatever you desire, Ithil."

Ithil: She blinks a couple of times, and feels inclined to walk towards him. One of her feet takes a step. "My questions may make no sense to you or any who hear them but they will satisfy my own curiosity and that is fine with me." Her bright eyes find his dark ones once again. "The soul of the one you chased. You loved her, truly, I can see that and my words mean no offense. I must ask, over the hundreds of years, did you ever try anything different from just making her one of the undead?"

DM: Strahd stares at you, his expression unreadable as he ponders the question. When he speaks it is with a grave seriousness. "I loved her truly. She could never accept me for what I am, not for the reasons that you might think. This land that is my prison and my kingdom... is against me. I attempted to court her when Berez was once prosperous... Patrina was her name then... dark hair that desperately wanted to curl but I could see the beauty within her." Strahd's gaze drifts upward, lost in the past. "The villagers feared me, so to did the Elves. I won her hand, true then, but it was not to be. The Dusk Elves, in their great wisdom, stoned her to death, to prevent me my prize I had strived so much for. They feared her a vampire." A flash of anger passes of Strahd's face "I tore their village from the earth, cursed every member, and left them to the snakes. For the Dusk Elves... they would never see a child again, as I'm sure your aware."

Ithil: Her expression remains blank except for her mouth momentarily popping open. "It's true of the curse... none of us were willing to listen before but the dark ones have been the actual source of this curse since the start. Feeding on misery and intervening to cause more of it." She almost laughed. "I see our fates were of being naïve. We deserved to be brought back here for our actions in haste." She shakes her head to stop herself from rambling on more about it, and puts a hand to her face. "Maybe things could have been different at one point, this much time having been passed if they didn't disturb the outcomes. When.... or did you actually become aware that the dark gods you made a pact with are continuing to feed off of your emotions?"

DM: Strahd gestures vaguely to the air. "I knew from the moment I became Vampyre, a stalker of the night. They are not without a sense of humor though, near the edges of Yester Hill, when the sun rises, my homeland can be seen in all its shimmering glory..." Strahd's voice becomes wistful, enjoying the sight of it in his mind. "But I know it cannot be... it lies so far away from Barovia yet its there. They must give me hope, or I am worthless to them. They are gleeful in their torment of me, I know that now."

Ithil: She cocks her head like a bird, curiosity spiking again. "Homeland? I believed Barovia to be that for you." A couple more thoughts came to mind. "And it seems they have given you a few more things to chase, with the hag and that soldier that I've heard have been causing problems."

DM: "No, I came to this land as a conqueror, dispelling my enemies as easily as I do now. Armies fell before my might and they fled to this place. After their slaughter I made it my home." Strahd cocks his head at mention of the hag and soldier. "I created them, dragged to Barovia through hubris and theft. Without strife, the Dark Powers would discard me." "A queen sent her armies to me, now they wallow in this land, slowly being whittled away, day by day, year by year."

Ithil: Ithil nods. "Her I met, angry woman, very rash. I didn't much care for her." She waved her hand, "Anyways she's not too important herself.... So the gods would discard you? How would that take place?"

DM: Strahd smiles. "I'm afraid that information is beyond even me. The gods are ever mysterious and cruel. For all I know they plot me another bride."

Ithil: She looks down at her hands. "I have no more to ask, I thought I was confused when in fact I was merely lacking very basic information in the first place." Her shoulders begin to shake, but when she looks up, she is just laughing with tears stinging at her eyes. "The world of people, of humans, I should have stayed well away from it. The jester gave me hope but he was just like the others, gone, whenever I needed him the most. 10 years of looking. I guess in perspective of time that's nothing. 10 years of trying to do good and I manage to continue to jump blindly into situations without weighing out all sides of them. Meant to hate you while we support Exethanther as he hunts down humans to use in his own projects. Killing a Beholder that was trying to run a government by controlling people but unleashing riots that may have killed more people than we tried to save. Last time I was here, I personally turned over the wizard that helped us during the battle to the lich..." Ithil's voice trails off. "I deserve this fate laid before me, this much I know and I accept it." Her face turns to him. "I think I know why I couldn't seem to leave this place." She wouldn't let her face betray it, but despite all that she said and all that her mind tried to scream at her, she felt bad for this monster in front of her, though perhaps it was merely a side-effect of the charm.

DM: The monster in front of her smiled, humored by Ithil's ramblings. He rises from his chair and begins to approach her, calm and confident. "You need not bother worrying about the past, the adventures you've had, the people who have suffered, it doesn't matter. This land is a land of trades, what you get you must sacrifice for. You have done so much for this world and its people. It's time to start doing things for yourself. " Strahd brushes the hair from Ithil's forhead, his hand trailing to her neck. "We are not monsters, simply those cursed to rise above the weak. I offer you that gift, to rise above, Ithil. Accept my lineage..."

Ithil: She felt her body burning, from embarrassment at the closeness of the vampire and anger at herself for all the thoughts that crossed her mind. Every ounce of sense left in her mind screamed at her to run, back away, just say no. But none of that was what bubbled to the surface. Ithil wanted an escape, even if it was mostly from herself. "Y....yes....." With those words she couldn't bear to look at him, she had fallen to exactly what he wanted.

DM: Strahd leans in close, his presence like ice. He can feel her heart beating faster as he pulls her closer into his embrace. The hold is gentle, for there is no escape now. He brushes the hair away from her neck, savoring the moment of victory. His fangs sink into Ithil's neck with ease and a faint tremble runs through her. Heat rises within Ithil as her blood is drained away, her senses fading. The room seems to spin, the rotting feast, the dead guests, the restrained vampire, all a blur. Darkness tinges her vision but before she faded she felt dripping on her lips, blood, from Strahd's wrist. He had stopped drinking and she had not even noticed. Her last image before her vision fades is Strahd's cold eyes and his smile, as blood runs down his mouth.

[millenniumfae]

Fallout 4 Cooking - Deathclaw Egg Omelette

Welcome back to another addition to Video Game Cooking! Today, we’re taking a look at Fallout 4′s ‘Deathclaw Egg Omelette’, a recipe described as ‘A tasty wasteland omelette.’ Going by the in-game model for Deathclaw Omelette, one can actually believe it could taste good.

Until you take a closer look at the recipe, and see that it calls for one Deathclaw egg, as expected, and. A blood pack. A blood pack. A blood pack?? As in, the health regen item you find throughout the Wasteland that contain extracted human blood? 

(Todd Howard, you’ve done it again.)

Omelettes don’t require a binding agent that would need to replace something like milk, or cheese. You don’t need to add anything to eggs to make an omelette. Some egg material, lightly stirred (or beaten), and then panfried into a foldable flap is your bog standard (plain) omelette.

I’ve absolutely no idea why anyone would eat an omelette, and think, ‘hmm, you know what this recipe needs? Human blood.’ This is how you know you’re living in the post-apocalyptic world; when blood packs are added to your breakfast.

I honest to god spent several minutes brainstorming any and all possibilities why blood would be any necessary addition to an omelette recipe. Cooking-wise, it’s not needed, and eggs with blood have no precedent in food culture. Gameplay-wise, it also doesn’t make sense; only a high-level player would have the skills required to encounter a Deathclaw to nab an egg from their nest, and you’d think surviving a Deathclaw is challenge enough to justify this craftable healing item. You shouldn’t need to sacrifice another resource to make this.

The only justification I could find was their health regen hitcounts; a raw Deathclaw egg will provide the player with +45 hitpoints, while a blood pack will give +50 hitpoints over a period of 10 seconds. A cooked Deathclaw Egg Omelette will give the player 115 hitpoints and health regen for several in-game minutes. 

I assume that the developers wanted to encourage the player to cook the eggs that they find, rather than eat them raw like the good old fashioned games where you find entire meals in dungeon pots. However, they needed a justification why a cooked egg yields twice the hitpoints of the raw counterpart alongside its regen abilities, so they required the player throw in a healing item into the recipe too, to compound it all.

Doesn’t explain why we need to use human blood and not, say, any of the in-game vegetables you can also use to heal yourself with, but at least we have more credibility to suspend our disbelief with.

So. Yes, this recipe will be using blood. My lore explanation? This recipe is a traditional, rural Wastelander dish that subscribes to the belief that consuming blood can heal you, or make your stronger. So you celebrate the defeat of a powerful monster like a Deathclaw by consuming human blood, like a warrior’s ritual. 

This theory is based off of the hitpoint recovery difference of blood packs throughout the franchise. Before Fallout 4, using blood packs as healing items didn’t do a whole lot, only giving you a handful of hitpoints. This time, the Sole Survivor heals an impressive amount from a single blood pack. Therefore, fans believe that beforehand, the player would drink these blood packs because they didn’t know any better, while the pre-war Sole Survivor actually knew how to perform a blood transfusion.

So people who knew better wouldn’t fall into this ‘consuming blood’ idea, and either omit the blood from the recipe or disregard this recipe altogether. We’ll assume that we’re your run-of-the-mill citizens from Freeside, and we’re totally on board with adding blood into our egg dish.

So the recipe is simple enough, but again we’re replacing our typical omelette ingredients with other substitutes that emulate how every ingredient in the Wasteland would be irradiated and mutated. Like the Baked Bloatfly recipe, our salt will be replaced with the bolder celery salt, and our pepper with white pepper powder. This will already give our dish a noticeable twang. Unexpectedly (or not, depending on how well you know your eggs), we’re not replacing the egg of the dish with something else. Any bird egg you could find in a grocery taste pretty similar, whether its chicken, quail, or duck. The difference between a duck egg and chicken egg is minuscule compared to duck meat versus chicken meat.

Thing is, a Deathclaw isn’t avian, but reptile. And I’ve never eaten a reptile egg nor seen any in stores near me, but it’s definitely not without precedent. So to get a better idea of what kind of egg we’re expected to work with, I focused on alligator and crocodile eggs; the largest reptile egg I could find detailing both its anatomy and taste. 

I’ve never eaten a reptile egg, but I’ve seen those videos of snakes hatching and so on. Reptile eggs are different. They’re leathery and soft, and the shell looks like malleable leather. Not all of them do, but for the sake of excitement we’ll assume that a Deathclaw egg follows that rule and feels like a warm leather couch to the touch.

Tastewise, they’re apparently pretty mild in flavor. An alligator egg is mostly yolk with only a bit of embryonic fluid, so we can imagine our Deathclaw egg to be protein-heavy in taste and nutrition. To emulate this, we will take four eggs, and separate the yolks for three of them. You’ll end up with four yolks, and one egg white.

Now, blood and eggs do have some precedent; some quick googling resulted in dishes like tortilla española having variations with goat blood, and other dishes that proudly showed a mix of blood sausage folded within the omelette itself. However, I was never able to find a recipe that actually called for blood to be included within the egg mixture.

So our recipe is gonna take some artistic liberties in order to become an actual dish that someone would want to eat. Rather than mixing liquid blood (or blood flakes, depending on how your grocery stocks them), we’re getting black pudding, and folding it within our omelette.  

(Black pudding is a sausage that’s high in blood content. It’s called a ‘pudding’ because those strange people over in the UK call anything that’s boiled a ‘pudding’. Hence, spotted dick being a ‘pudding’ even though its more like a cake with raisins.)

So the recipe itself is simple; mix your four yolks and one white until they’re homogenous. Add your celery salt and white pepper powder to taste. For my portion, I added perhaps half a teaspoon of each, but it was actually a little too much even for my smoker-tainted tongue. Perhaps just a pinch will do fine.

With your greased pan on medium heat, pour the egg mixture upon the surface so it makes a circle. As the underside cooks, you’ll add slices of black pudding on one half of the circle’s hemisphere. Keep in mind - I got black pudding that was ready to serve. You want to make sure your blood sausage needs no further cooking to be palatable.

After a minute, your omelette should be solid enough to be flipped; fold one side of the circle over the black sausage slices so that it makes an envelope, with fully-cooked egg on the outside and runny egg on the inside.

For the next few minutes, continue flipping the omelette back and forth, so that the inside becomes decently firm without burning the outside. Serve with a few sprigs of mutated cilantro, and a bottle of Nuka-Cola Cherry.

Delicious, post-apocalyptic fare.

[jaybear1701]

Memories That Remain 2

Summary: Whitney Earp is getting married, which in a small town like Purgatory, is big news already, but Whitney has a secret. While sorting through some boxes in the attic, preparing for her move off the homestead, she stumbles across a familiar white stetson, and her mother’s old journal. She learns that her mother Waverly has been keeping something important from her her entire life -- Waverly Earp is not her biological mother. Through lies and the perfect scheme, and a wedding that is one disaster after another, Whitney is determined to get to the bottom of the family secret, even if it means getting both of her mothers in the same room after 20 years of estrangement. 

By @haughtbreaker and @jaybear1701 

Also available on AO3.

"You seem so far away though you are standing near You made me feel alive, but something died I fear I really tried to make it out I wish I understood What happened to our love, it used to be so good."

There was a bounce in Whitney's step as she slipped through the door of the Sheriff's department. Nothing like deception and manipulation mixed in with the excitement of her impending nuptials to brighten one's day. She'd left her friends back at Shorty's, tasting the themed drinks that would be at the reception while she ran across the street with a pair of coffee cups. She could barely contain the mix of eagerness and happiness coursing through her veins as she thought of all the possibilities ahead of her. Three more sleeps. The internal monologue had continued through her day.

The officer at the front desk smiled brightly, hiding her phone under some files to at least pretend she'd been working. "Hey Whit!"

"Hi Court." Whitney set a coffee cup in front of her old classmate. "He here?"

"Thank you so much." Court breathed a sigh of relief, popping open the cup to dip her finger into the melting whipped cream before nodding quickly. "Nedley's got him down in the dungeon."

With a snort, Whitney reached into her messenger bag and set a small napkin-wrapped bundle that smelled suspiciously like chocolate on the officer's desk.

"Courtesy of my mother's late night baking," she whispered with a wink before taking the remaining coffee cup and heading down a hallway. She found the stairs easily and made her way down, having traveled the path a few times before when the sheriff was being ornery and taking it out on everyone in the station by assigning menial tasks. A flickering light greeted her and she was drawn to the shuffling sounds coming from one corner.

Whitney paused for a moment, leaning against a shelf as she watched her fiancé reshelving file boxes. He was ridiculously adorable, she decided. With the amount of testosterone coursing through the veins of Purgatory, including his asshole of a father who measured a man's worth by however many seconds he could stay on a bull, she was glad Jesse was nothing like them.

Not saying he was weak, she thought as he moved a stack of boxes, watching the lines of his arm flex with the weight. No he was far from weak, and in truth he was a better shot with a shotgun than even her mother, but he was definitely a lover and not a fighter. She easily found herself lost as she watched him, a smile tugging at her lips until one box slipped from his hands, falling to the ground with files spilling out in a puff of dust.

"Dang it!" He sighed heavily, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose before kneeling, only then seeing Whitney standing there. "Oh, hey!" He laughed nervously.

Taking mercy on him, Whitney was quick to his side, helping him scoop up the files and setting them haphazardly on the desk. "Sorry, Honey." She waited for him to set the box on the desk beside the small stack before holding out the coffee cup. "You look like you could use some of this."

He smiled bashfully, accepting the cup and setting it aside before wrapping his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "You are too good to me."

"Nothing is too good for you." Whitney captured his lips in a quick kiss. "I can't believe the sheriff's got you all alone down here… with no one else around." Wiggling her eyebrows, she ran fingertips down the front of his uniform, circling a button. "You look like you could use a break."

Another laugh and he was pulling away with a shake of his head. "The sheriff's been on a strange warpath since this morning."

Whitney rolled her eyes. "Chrissy needs to pull the stick from her ass."

"I think the last thing I need right now is to get fired, at least not until after the wedding." He grinned a dopey grin that went all the way to his ears. "Because then I'll have a beautiful, college-educated wife that will be able to support me whenever she decides on a career path."

Whitney snorted, leaning back against the pile of boxes. "Well you better get used to enjoying my mother's cooking because we're gonna end up back at the homestead and God knows that bed squeaks louder than a cat in heat."

"Well, I think your mother's cooking is delicious."

"You're such a kiss ass." With a laugh, Whitney picked up his coffee and took a quick sip, wincing at the oversweet flavor. "I better go. Mom should be getting back soon with Aunt Wyn. I just wanted to see my future husband for a minute." She reached up to flick some dust off his uniform.

"Wynonna gets in today." His smile faltered, turning into a tight line as he fought the urge to frown. He was so bad at hiding his emotions from her.

"You know she loves you."

"She loves messing with me." He shook his head. "She just… I really wish she wouldn't compare me to my dad all the time."

Stepping into his space again, Whitney rested her forearms on his shoulders. "Sweetie, you are on the wrong side of the street to be anything like your dad. He's probably over at Shorty's right now, starting the day with a pint." She placed a quick kiss to the tip of his nose. "I love you because, on top of being a sexy beast, you are honest, brave, and full of integrity. Your dad couldn't even pass the officer exams and you are on route to be the next sheriff."

It was enough to bring back a grin as he pulled her closer, finding another kiss in her smile. His hands came up to capture her face, his thumbs gently brushing against her cheeks as he deepened the kiss.

Whitney groaned against his lips, breaking off the kiss to push away. "Ok, we should stop before we really get you fired."

"Hey, you were the one that offered." Still, he let her go but not without a pout.

"Well that was like….three minutes ago." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"And three minutes makes a difference?" Jesse argued before he saw the wry look on her face. "Ok, that's just mean."

"Oh but I do love every bit of those 3 minutes…" Whitney joked, slipping out of his reach as he playfully lunged for her.

Accidentally knocking one of the files from the stack, Jesse gave her a mock glare before picking up the folder, taking a quick look before his head tilted to the side. "Whoa… weird."

"What's weird?"

Pulling a small, wallet-sized photo out, he held it up so Whitney could see it. "Just an old personnel file. She kinda looks like you."

Her eyes growing wide, Whitney snatched the photo quickly, seeing the familiar angles of the face that was also in the photo in her bag except this time she was wearing the same uniform Jesse was wearing. God her mother must have been shitting herself when Whitney started dating an officer, she mused, reaching for the folder before Jesse could start reading. "That's crazy." She let her eyes scan the page, noticing the emergency contact where a very neatly written Waverly Earp was in black ink. "I wonder if Mom knows who this is."

She wasn't ready to deal with explaining Nicole to Jesse. She couldn't let him see the file. Not yet anyway. So with a big grin, she shoved the file in her bag.

"Hey. Whit…" He was cut off with a kiss, soft hands cupping his cheeks as Whitney's form pressed against his.

"I'm just gonna borrow it. I'll bring it back." She whispered against his lips.

Before he could protest, she broke the kiss off and pulled away. She could see the momentary hesitance in his eyes and quickly pressed one last kiss to his lips. "I have to go find the girls. I'm staying at the homestead again tonight. Come by when you're done." And with that, she turned and left.

Escaping up the stairs, she barely got her expression under control before running right into the Sheriff. "Sheriff Nedley! I was just looking for you!" She hoped her cheeks weren't as flushed as they felt.

Chrissy Nedley narrowed her eyes at the wayward Earp. "I don't remember my office being down in the archives."

Putting on the smile she'd taken from her mother, Whitney reached into her messenger bag to pull out a box wrapped with a ribbon, four small cakes visible through the plastic top. "My mom wanted to say thank you for your help with those coyotes the other night."

Her expression not faltering, Chrissy accepted the box as they began to walk back to the front of the station. "All in a day's work. Tell your mother she's more than welcome, but please remember that all messages of appreciation are better delivered from the other side of the front desk."

Whitney tried not to laugh. When her mother had told her about how the Sheriff had been in high school, she'd barely believed it. "Noted." She quickly commented, giving Court a quick wave before escaping out the front door.

"I'm here, Bitches!" Wynonna let her bag drop, her eyes scanning the unexpected darkness of the homestead with a frown. "What the hell? I didn't fly all the way from the UK to not even get a damn hug… a shot of whiskey… something?"

Waverly rolled her eyes, pulling a note off the cork board near the door. "She's running some errands with the girls."

"Kids these days." Wynonna moved to the kitchen, finding things exactly in the same place as they always were. "It's way too late in the day for me to be sober and what the eff is up with all the hammering?"

"It's not even noon." Waverly could only smile, seeing her sister pouring whiskey into their grandmother's china. "And the incessant banging is because her royal highness wants an outdoor wedding."

"It's fricking Purgatory in December. Her royal highness is asking for a swift kick to the box." Wynonna snorted, taking a sip before quickly spitting it out. "Either someone's been watering down the whiskey, or my tongue isn't working…"

"Well you'd be a lot more quiet if that were true." Waverly grabbed the bottle, inspecting it. "That little brat." She let her thumb brush over the small x near the barcode. "This is the bottle we bring out when her in-laws come over for dinner. I told her to get a new bottle."

Wynonna snorted at that. "Not like that man-child knows the difference."

Waverly froze as a voice from the past ran through her mind. A boy man? She shook her head, attempting to dislodge the memories. "Well, I'm suddenly in the mood to drink." She twirled the keys that were still in her hand. "Trip to town?"

Wynonna changed her mind and shot back the rest of the whiskey in her cup before nodding. "No sense in wasting it….ugh that's horrible. Let's go."

"What the hell is going on here?"

The entire bar jumped at the sound of the voice ringing from the double doors. The small party at the bar counter broke out in a burst of laughter.

"Mom!" Whitney laughed, knocking back the small shot of pink and green before hopping off the stool. "Mom we have to have this… this… Stevie, what is it?" She directed at the bartender.

"The Earp Express." He cleared his throat, trying to avoid his boss's even stare.

"It's fantastic!" Only then did Whitney notice the tall frame behind her mother. "Aunty Wyn!" She launched herself at the oldest in the Earp family who embraced her with a noticeable grunt.

Wynonna returned the hug briefly before holding her out at arm's reach. "My beloved niece, already drunk before lunch," she pulled Whitney in for another hug, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I trained you so well. I'm proud of you," she mock cried before pushing her away. "Take me to your alcohol," she groaned as she followed Whitney to the bar, noticing the different shot glasses of various colors and mixes. "What's wrong with straight up whiskey?"

"It's a party!" Anna laughed, reaching for a suspiciously orange mixture and tipping the drink down her throat, wincing. "Oh… yeah the Pious Wyatt is horrible. Definitely not strong enough"

"It's a virgin drink." Jenn commented wryly with a shake of her head. "Hi Miss Waverly."

Waverly let her eyes drift over the bar. "You driving?" She asked, noticing the glass of coke in front of her.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good girl." Waverly looked over her shoulder where Whitney was peppering Wynonna with a few dozen questions about her travel. "Okay…" She clapped her hands together, looking at the bartender. "What the hell is this Earper Express?"

With a smile, he pulled a clean shot glass out, expertly layering the alcohol before presenting it.

Quickly swallowing the drink, Waverly pursed her lips. It was sweet with the subtlest of burns. People were going to get destroyed at this wedding, and she couldn't help but look forward to it. "I like it. Write it down and clean all this up." She looked at Purgatory's next generation, her daughter's rambunctious friends, and felt a small bit of sadness. She could hardly believe how fast time was going by, and yet she felt like every moment had lasted a lifetime.

A lifetime of waking up alone, taking Whitney to the dentist alone, having to attend the father/daughter dances with her. Now she was getting married.

God she felt old.

"Do you even know who I am?"

Waverly looked up to see Wynonna trying to get behind the bar. "Wynonna! Stop it." She hooked her arm around her sister's elbow. "Thank you, Stevie." She winked at the bartender before tugging Wynonna away. "Go in back, please. Find something to drink." Looking at the girls, she took another deep breath. "Girls, I take it you picked up the boxes from the post and the supplies for the centerpieces?"

"It's all in the trunk, Miss Waverly." Jenn supplied quickly.

"Then what the hell are you still doing here? We have about 100 of those damn things to make so if you could please get working on them." When Wynonna came out from the storeroom, she sighed softly. "Wynonna, can you go with them please? Make sure they actually get started while I run some errands."

"Yes, Mom." Wynonna muttered, hugging her bottle to her chest. Whitney and Anna piped up with a laugh, grabbing Jenn by one hand each.

Waverly sighed. Her baby was grown, and drunk, and getting married. It was that same motherly protective streak that led her to follow the girls outside, making sure that it was Jenn that slipped behind the wheel. "Turn it down!" She yelled as music poured out of the topless car that backed into the street. "Drive carefully!"

Watching as the car took off down the road, she winced as it almost swiped a car that was pulling in front of Purgatory's only hotel. As the driver slipped from the vehicle, obviously watching the car make it's way down the road, Waverly almost called out an apology when something stopped her.

There was no mistaking that frame, all 5'9" of it. She didn't even need the woman to turn towards her, shoulder-length red waves reflecting the light of the sun.

Waverly felt herself shutting down. Her heart stopped. Her breath caught in her throat, a vast desert that reached from her tongue to her lungs.

What the hell was she doing here?

"What the hell are you doing here?" Waverly breathed out the hushed question toward the wall. Despite the harshness of her words, she was too tired, too numb to put any heat in them. Instead, she felt deflated, shrinking and sinking like a balloon in the cold.

"I wanted to see you," Nicole said, equally resigned, from the doorframe of Waverly's childhood bedroom. She didn't dare set foot inside . "Before I…"

"Run away?" Waverly, who sat on her old mattress, kept her eyes trained straight ahead at the Pokemon poster she had hung as a child. Its corners peeled at the edges. She refused to turn around. But if she did, she imagined she'd see Nicole's lips set in a thin, frustrated line.

"That's not what I'm doing."

"Isn't it?"

Nicole blew out a breath. "We both agreed that we need some space. Get some perspective. Does it really matter if I'm here or in Chicago for it?"

"No," Waverly acceded, not wanting to fight. She didn't want to do much of anything. "I suppose not."

She picked at a piece of lint off the sleeve of one of her favorite Christmas sweaters-a green and red monstrosity with a massive Rudolph emblazoned on the front. Or at least, it used to be one of her favorites. She stopped herself from re-living the mini-breakdown she had that afternoon, when an identical, newborn-sized one had arrived in the mail. She had forgotten that she had special ordered it all the way back in the spring.

"Wave, look at me," Nicole pleaded quietly. "Please."

She didn't want to turn around, both out of vindictiveness and, if she was completely honest, a lingering sense of self-preservation. She feared that if she looked at Nicole, the walls of indifference that she had erected around her heart would crumble. Walls she had meticulously put in place, conscious or not, after months of tests and shots and suppositories, disappointment after disappointment, fighting and frustration.

"This isn't permanent," Nicole insisted when Waverly remained silent and still. "If I visit my family for a bit, maybe it'll get them off my back."

Waverly snorted. "Whatever you need to tell yourself."

Nicole sighed, long and slow. "We'll talk soon," she said.

They both pretended it wasn't a lie.

An unexpected frisson of pain lanced through Waverly's chest, cutting through the numbness and leaving a dull ache between her ribs. She closed her eyes as she listened to Nicole turn and walk away, boots clicking lightly on the creaking hardwood.

Waverly felt torn between running after Nicole and staying in place. She buried her face in her hands. She didn't want Nicole to leave, but she didn't really want her to stay either. She could try to stop Nicole - all she had to do was call out her name. But then what? Pretend they hadn't said all those hurtful things to each other? Forgive and forget? Waverly wasn't ready. And she doubted Nicole was either. How did they end up here?

She startled when she heard the front door click shut with a finality that echoed throughout the Homestead. The sound spurred Waverly to her feet. Almost against her will, and most certainly against her better judgment, she approached her bedroom window and peered outside.

She watched Nicole walk slowly toward her squad car. The desire to slide open her window and ask Nicole to stay grew, almost overwhelmingly so. But Waverly didn't move. And Nicole didn't stop. When Nicole opened the car's door, she paused and Waverly held her breath. Even now, after everything, Nicole still looked tall and strong despite her hesitation.

Nicole turned her head and looked up toward Waverly's window.

Their eyes met and Waverly's heart throbbed.

It was now or never.

There would be no turning back unless one of them changed their minds.

But neither did.

And with one last sad smile, Nicole got in the car and drove away. Waverly reached out and touched the glass of her window, tracing the cloud of dust that trailed in Nicole's wake.

Twenty years later, Waverly cursed the fact that Nicole, in dark jeans and a gray peacoat, looked every bit as striking as she had the last time Waverly saw her. And even with the distance between them, she still felt an inexplicable pull toward Nicole. Perhaps old Waverly would have given in and let herself be driven forward by her thundering, traitorous heart. Would have marched right up to her ex and demand to know why she was in town, just to see her up close, to finally hear the voice that kept haunting her dreams.

But the Waverly of today wasn't driven by her emotions. No sir. She was no longer enamored by childish notions of romance, or meant to be, or true love conquering all. Waverly of today put one and only one first person, and that person was Whitney. And Waverly would focus on Whitney and make damn well sure that her daughter and future son-in-law had the best goddamn wedding the town had ever seen.

She wouldn't bother with Nicole, or even concern herself with why she was back. That's what Waverly told herself as she turned on her heel and walked to her SUV and hopped in. So what if she seemed to be having trouble catching her breath as she turned the engine over. No. She wasn't going to think at all about Nicole. And if her eyes happened to slide to the rearview window where Nicole was perfectly reflected, well, she was just checking that the coast was clear before she pulled out of her parking spot.

[istrys]

Memories of a Requiem Pt 2

Syrahn led the group through the winding streets of the Amber Glade in silence, intent on avoiding as many people as possible; her numerous guards out on patrol this late at night would turn to visually inspect them but otherwise went about their own business. Rethandus kept his eyes on the crimson cobblestone path beneath their feet, secretly wishing he had stayed within the Ebon Hold because the Amber Glade held a stark resemblance to the shining capital of Quel’thalas before the Scourge Invasion, as if that tragedy never happened. Istrys on the other hand, couldn’t keep her mouth shut.

 “This place is on the up and up.” She cooed, staring wide-eyed at the tall towers and lush gardens. “I wonder if Silvermoon City will ever look like this again.”

 “Not with the defaced Sunstrider statues.” Ijiro chimed in, glancing over his shoulder. “Not with Falconwing Square still in disrepair too.”

 “We’re almost there.” Syrahn announced, sharply turning a corner. At the other end of the garden sat an iron door, strutting out of the ground. After a few seconds of her fiddling with her keys, the stairway leading down into the dungeons was opened, allowing for their descent.

The dungeons themselves were the exact opposite of the rest of the Glade. Blackstone covered the ceiling, floor and walls, and the hallway was poorly lit by a few sparse torches. The Priestess plucked one such torch out of its setting to illuminate the way, remaining silent the entire time until they reached one particular cell in the furthest reaches of the dungeons.

 “Here we are.” Syrahn softly spoke, handing Ijiro the torch while she fiddled with her keys again. The cell itself was empty, save for the polished stone slab that rested in its center. “This is where we’ll conduct this operation.” She pulled her hood back and ran her hands through the tangles in her hair, turning to glance up at Whitstan. “If you have any second thoughts, now’s the time to say something.”

He did his best to keep silent while gritting his teeth. He had no idea that the Priestess planned on bringing him to a desolate room in the corner of a dungeon in the case that his mind unravelled. While trying to rationalize the decision, he realized he should have expected at least this much. A sigh escaped his lips, “Second, third thoughts… sure. But we’re here for a resolution. I will not turn my back on the reason I came here for in the first place.” he responded calmly as he approached the slab with a hand hovering over it.

 “You really think the shackles are necessary?” Ijiro asked, noticing these steel braces were brand new. “I mean, I know this is a dungeon, but…”

 “It’s not for our protection.” Syrahn explained, shooting a glance in his direction. “It’s for his. I don’t want to risk him thrashing about and hurting himself… if things go south, that is. Speaking of which… um… Istrys, was it? Do you think you can wait outside and lock the cell door behind you? I don’t want to take any unnecessary risks.”

 “I’ll do it.” Rethandus volunteered, extending his hand. “If Whitstan regains his memories and returns to his old self, I’d rather be on the other side of the door.” Syrahn pursed her lips but silently complied, handing him the heavy loop of cell keys; the Harbinger shot Whitstan a cold glare before turning his back on the group, almost slamming the door shut behind him.

 A slight smirk was given toward the Harbinger as he locked them in. Part of Whitstan respected the recognition he gave, part of him detested the fact that he was concerned at every opportunity that his own sanity might be lost to him. Regardless, he would either prove him wrong or lose the inhibitions keeping him in check, proving him right and hopefully killing him. Either way, it was a good possibility he won. He looked around for a long moment. “If I do lose myself… it’d be best that everyone else is behind that metal door as well.”

 “I’m just here to put you into a trance-like sleep, and not a minute longer.” Sahe huffed, while grinding the ingredients she brought into a small wooden bowl. “Once that is done I will be returning to the Oathguard in Dalaran.”

 “Thank you for helping us.” Syrahn sighed, giving the Druidess a convincing smile. “This wouldn’t be possible without your help.”

 “It still might not be.” Sahe pulled a small vial of Moonwell water from her satchel, gently pouring it over the compound. “You will need to drink all of it, Undead. You should start to feel very dizzy immediately, and if it all goes accordingly, you’ll pass out before long.” She made little effort to hide the discomfort of being locked in a cell with two undead, almost pushing the bowl into Ijiro’s hands before giving the Priestess a very quick curtsey. “Good luck, Lady Bloodfeather. I hope all of this trouble will be worth it.” Ijiro and Istrys remained silent while Rethandus opened the door for her, allowing her to disappear into the dimly lit hallway; both the Hunter and the Necromancer turned their attention to the other two, as the thick iron door was locked shut once again.

“Last chance to get out of here…” he uttered quietly while he reached for the concoction that Ijiro held. He glanced around to the audience one last time before he drank from the bowl, “I do appreciate those of you who helped me in this endeavor.” he looked squarely at Istrys, “Stop me if I inch toward the living.” he pleaded in a stoic tone. If anyone had a chance at halting his violent rampage, it was the necromancer.

 He leaned against the stone slab in the center before sliding into a sitting position. He took one last look at the mixture that rested in his hands. He contemplated something witty to say but then realized it would be a moot point. He gulped at the disgusting mix of herbs and medicines for a few moments before his body collapsed against the slab. Istrys and Ijiro moved in to close the shackles against his wrists and ankles, as Syrahn took off her gloves and placed them along Whitstan’s face.

 “Keep your eyes on me for as long as you can.” The Priestess soothed, looking deep into the former Breaker’s eyes. “Just relax… let that mixture do its work.”

Time meant nothing to him at this point. His mind shifted back and forth in memories that he already possessed. It delved into a memory he had more recently experienced, an image he had recently seen; He attempted to still his arm while it shook. The longer time passed, the more difficult his fine motor control would be to manage. It had been over a week since he last sated himself and his blade. His blue eyes intensified as the whirling torrent of violence within refused to relent. He focused as best as he could for a few moments, finally shaking his head as if it would dismiss the atrocious desires welling in him. He took in an unnecessary breath as he sat in the seat and sighed, out of habit perhaps. He went to grab at the quill but paused. A soft and silky voice whispered out to him from the darkness. He shifted his gaze to where he had set his runeblade down. It spoke to him as the visage and then the rest of the incorporeal figure formed out of the darkness. She wore a thin, red gown: a simple yet elegant dress this time. Her silver hair fell loosely around either side of her cheeks, her skin was lighter than usual. “I’m hungry. Surely we can find some… humans or something.”

 At first he seemed to simply stare at the figure. Part of him was relieved the upper reaches of Acherus seemed relatively void of any other unliving at the moment. Although only he could see her, he would seem insane speaking to himself- though even that wasn’t a completely uncommon sight in the floating necropolis. As the base slowly rotated, drifting above the coast of the Broken Isles, he could catch a glimpse of the floating mage-city of Dalaran in the background. For a moment his mind wandered, wondering how the few acquaintances he had were faring. “It’s a holiday…” Whitstan muttered.

 “What? What are you talking about. I’m telling you I’m hungry and you’re telling me it’s-” He waved his hand dismissively before speaking again, “I was just wondering how some of the living I know were faring. Far from home, wondering if they’ll go back again to see their families;  At least, I think that’s what they think about. Probably something they fear.”

 “Yes. Finally. Now we’re speaking the same language. Fear is delicious, we need to go out and...” she commented as she nodded. He continued, ignoring her for the most part without being too overt about it as he interrupted, “Sometimes I wonder how it feels. To be afraid of not going home to your loved ones. I think I can imagine it, but… I don’t remember if there were any people like that. When I close my eyes, I can almost see faces. But I can’t tell if it’s people that were important to me, or more people that I’ve killed.” his cold eyes bore into her spirit. “I want to know more about my past. But…”

“Are you afraid Whitstan?” she asked, her voice genuine yet a small smirk crept across her lips.

 “I think. Maybe. I don’t want to become what I was before, whatever it was that made me the person I was. Whatever memory that is locked away from me along with the rest that kept me as that horrible creature that I was even after the Lich King’s influence had faded. What could possibly have made me continue to be so malicious even after my mind was freed?”

 “There’s only one way to find out.” she spoke as she approached him. She slithered into his lap and lightly placed her small hands along his shoulders. For a moment he could swear she was physically there. He definitely felt her presence, but he knew that her corporeal body was destroyed long ago with only the runeblade anchoring her soul to the mortal plane. “Are you ready?” she asked as she leaned in, trying to meet his gaze now. “I’m not sure.” he responded. A hundred thoughts shot through his mind. In her attempt to feed her own needs she might want to unlock the triggers in his memories that loosened his sanity, yet he would always have to worry. “Now’s a good a time as any, I suppose.” he said as he met her eyes.

 He could feel her influence creeping into his skull as she rested her hands on his cold cheeks. He was never prepared for the sensation of delving into the past, into his own mind. He felt his consciousness slip as his thoughts shifted adjusting to a perspective constructed of haze and shattered images. Pieces moved into place to form an image of a makeshift grave in the snow as he stood over. He could almost recognize it, an obscure spot in Northrend. The images of the past began to move and time began to flow in his memories. He breathed in to speak as ash and snow flooded his lungs, holding a bloodied runeblade forward. Of course, this wasn’t his current runeblade Ellyria but another one entirely. Black energy crackled like lightning leaving flares of violet flashing about as the unholy runes on his blade lit up. The surges of energy grew more violent as they wildly lashed from the sword and struck the grave. “In the name of the Lich King, come forth, son of Archmage Kolos Kaash’kar. Serve as his Death Knight, Live and fight again, for the Scourge.” Another crackle of energy exploded, sending dirt and dust in every direction, “Rise my brother, rise Zerethel.”

 Through sheer force of will, he interrupted the vision and ripped his consciousness back to the present before smashing his hand on the corner of the table, breaking off the stone edge. He clutched his face with his left as Ellyria’s visage looked to him curiously. “Nothing… happened yet. Why did you break the link?” she asked, curious. He grit his teeth and took a moment to calm, regaining his composure. “What more could be gained from that memory than more questions?... So, I regarded that man who tried to kill me, a brother. I acted as the Lich King’s arm in raising him. How… how did he come back to life since then and why was he… he betrayed everyone he cared about without the Lich King’s influence as well. None of this makes sense. I need to go forward.” he said, looking to her. Even for him it was hard to tell whether he was demanding or imploring. “I can’t sit here and relive every moment of my life to get these memories back. Who knows how long that will take and Azeroth may not be here by the time I’m done.”

 She smiled at him. “Well… I suppose we could… experiment. No promises your mind won’t unravel. As I told you before, my soul is bound to the blade, and the blade is bound to you by blood. I’m using my soul to invade your locked memories… I don’t know what damage it might cause if we force it. But… we need each other, don’t we?”

 Her eyes shifted from a deep blue hue to a bright crimson as her gaze pierced his own. He could feel the haze overcome him again. He felt the tethers on his mind slowly unravel.

 The snow crushed underneath their feet in a melodic tone as they continued forward. The wind howled intermittently as if whistling and taunting travellers caught in its wake. The two elves’ steps were out of sync and continued to crunch into the snow one after the other, as the flurry of snow increased. The cold felt like icy pitchforks stabbing at their skin. The one swathed in robes pulled out a rolled leather segment with a parchment inside; lines grew a light blue hue along the map, almost unseen in the blizzard’s overwhelming blanket of frost. He let out a light wheeze, “This way.” His coarse voice sounded out.

The elf next to him, wearing mostly casual leathers and earth-toned lacquered plates, waded easily through the thick snow. He carried two bags with one hand slung across his back, seemingly both their belongings, with relative ease. The other hand rested on the end of two hilts at his right hip. His bright, soft blue eyes swirled with intense color as he squinted to see their destination to no avail. “Zereth, are you sure this is the right way?” the warrior asked incredulously; he was a newly appointed Spell-Breaker, a specialized hunter of rogue spell-casters and sinister practitioners of the supernatural. He was ironically assigned to accompany a finger-wiggling manipulator of magic to Northrend. Still, even as opposites, they seemed to grow on each other.

“Wilhelm…” the robed figure continued, he had a habit of calling others by their last names, “If your feet were as fast as your mouth, we wouldn’t need this map.” A shake of the head and a smirk was his reply as he knew he had struck a nerve with Zerethel now. He was probably just as lost as Whitstan had assumed. He let out a boisterous chuckle. “What?” Zerethel asked in a curt and irate manner. “It’s okay to be wrong sometimes Zereth.” The Breaker said with a crooked smile. His jest was met with a scowl and a scoff. Whitstan let out another light laugh as he continued to shake his head and took off on his own path. “Follow me, old man. I think I see some buildings. With a little bit of luck, we’ll be able to catch a breath and not freeze to death. Too bad about the horses though.” It was odd for the Grizzly Hills to have been hit by such an extreme turn of weather, however, Northrend wasn’t exactly known for its temperate climate.

“Hmph.” The mage breathed out. “The blizzard was an unforeseen and unfortunate happenstance.” The Breaker laughed again, “Unfortunate? I told you we should have waited to travel. I’m just here along for the ride, old man. Next time, maybe you’ll listen to your friend?” Whitstan approached the structures covered in snow. They seemed to be intact. People must have been hunkering down in the storm. As he closely looked, he could see smoke coming from the top of the structures. The buildings were definitely manned.  “I’ll show you old.” The mage muttered under his breath and sneered as he smothered a flame he had conjured in his left palm. He decided it would be best not to throw molten fire at his friend for a joke - for now. “You’d lose that arm before you even had a chance.” Whitstan commented with a smirk. “I’d render you into a burnt husk before the thought even crossed your mind.” Zerethel retorted.

“Uh-huh, just keep up.” He responded while scanning the area and structures, instantly recognizing this was a lumber mill of sorts. One of the buildings looked like a large housing structure for workers. His eyes settled on a smaller one with a plume of smoke breaking the streak of white. There has to be director or something of the sort around. He assumed the building that was just big enough to be a small living area and office space would probably be the spot to find them. He pounded on the wooden door with his right arm and waited for a few long moments. Again, he knocked on the door trying not to be too obnoxious but get the attention of whoever was in charge. The door creaked open and Whitstan could not help but tilt his head and perk a brow at the image of the woman before him.

The memory halted in place, breaking piece by piece as it fragmented in front of him. Whitstan narrowed his eyes as he began to realize the truth: This was but a broken reality that was meant to shatter sooner or later. It was a part of his sealed memories. A piece of him yearned for the following recollection of his living past. It would have undoubtedly led to more discoveries of his character… but in the moment, he had another priority to overcome. As the images broke into splinters, he fought to find the resolve to stabilize his vision.

Something lurked in the sundered memory of that snowy forest. Something that shouldn’t exist. The sound of crunching snow was followed by the unnatural warping of the nearby trees, causing them to bend and droop to the ground like wilting flowers. A creature poorly masquerading as a shrouded figure lumbered forward, stopping to gaze up at him from beneath an old leather hat. “You. Do. Not. Belong. Here.” its voice assaulted his ears like a blade was being driven into his temples. Instantly the figure melted, writhing and changing into something far less friendly. “Turn. Back.” Whitstan cradled his head as every sense he possessed assaulted his very being. Deep breaths slowed his sanity from breaking as he listened closely for the Priestess’ voice to ground his mind as it unravelled.

“Something’s wrong.” Syrahn huffed, clutching the sides of Whitstan’s head tightly. Tiny tendrils of shadow danced along her fingertips, carefully manipulating and guiding him through the labyrinth of his own thoughts; but she could only faintly sense what he was experiencing, and the sudden rush of fear and confusion couldn’t possibly be anything good.  Istrys and Ijiro exchanged glances once they noticed the former Breaker’s body was beginning to tremble. “He’s seeing something he shouldn’t be. It must be one of Artemisia’s traps.”

 “Zerethel! Behind you!” Whitstan’s eyes widened as a hulking figure shot out of the dark, wielding a giant club over its head. The mage instinctively blinked, temporarily vanishing as the giant shattered the flimsy wooden railing he was just standing by. Stumbling forward, Zerethel turned to see several tall Vrykul emerge from the darkness. His heart skipped a beat while three savages charged forward, accompanied by an unusually large wolf. Zerethel’s inexperience in combat froze his footsteps and stayed his hand; he staggered backward, as fear and doubt paralyzed him. Fortunately for them both, Whitstan was ready.

The spell-breaker hurled one of his swords as hard as he possibly could, letting the blade sing while it cut through the air. The first Vrykul roared in pain once it was buried in his chest, barely missing his heart. The savage’s momentum forced him forward while he grabbed the blade, instinctively trying to rip it out of his body; blood splattered from the savage’s hand once he wrapped his fingers around the blade, clearly unfamiliar with a double-edged weapon of elvish make. Before the Vrykul could pull the sword out, a second one was buried in his skull, thrusting his head back while a quick death rattle gurgled in the back of his throat. As the lifeless corpse fell to its knees, Whitstan ran past, yanking the blades out of the Vrykul’s chest and head to deal with the others.

Zerethel snapped out of his stupor as the worg quickly closed the distance, sending foam and spit every which way as its yellow glare pierced him. The pyromancer took in a deep breath shortly before fire erupted from his fingers, but the beast was too agile, and the mage was too slow. The worg knocked him off his feet and slammed into his chest, causing his flames to vanish in a puff of smoke when he was taken down. “Zerethel?!” Whitstan shouted, turning to rush to his aid, but the other two Vrykul were too close to outrun, and he needed to deal with them lest they stab him in the back. Claws cut through Zerethel’s robes like butter once the beast pulled him to the ground, barely avoiding the beast’s curved yellow fangs. It snapped its massive jaws inches away from his face, blinding him with its saliva; he used all of his strength to keep the creature from closing its teeth around his neck, preventing him from reigniting his hands. He yelled once its filthy claws pierced his chest, right shoulder and left leg, filling him with agony. The worg opened its mouth wider than Zerethel thought possible, surging with a strength he could not counter. Tyrasam, forgive me. He thought to himself while he closed his eyes, knowing there was nothing else he could do; but instead of feeling blinding pain, it yelped in agony, flying off him from one of Whitstan’s blades, which pinned it to a tree. Gasping for air the pyromancer rolled onto his stomach and forced himself to his feet, briefly glancing in his retainer’s direction before returning his gaze to the wounded worg. His focus was renewed, sending a volley of fireballs to slam into the beast while it screamed its dying breath.

Whitstan knew just one of these savages were stronger than he ever dreamed, but what he lacked in raw power was made up for twofold in agility. The spell-breaker ducked before an axe slashed over his head, cutting a few black strands of his hair. He pushed off the ground directly towards the Vrykul during the recoil, planting both of his boots against the savage’s chest. Seeing his grimly friend in his peripheral vision, Whitstan pushed off the savage, leapt out of harm’s way, and turned to catch himself on a nearby tree. Keeping his momentum moving, the Breaker pushed off once more in another direction, hearing the weighty snap of the tree as the axe buried where he once was. He rolled once his boots landed on solid ground, scooping a handful of dirt. The closest Vrykul roared in pain from the blast of dirt that was forcefully slammed into his eyes, causing the savage to stumble forward when it desperately attempted to plant the elf’s head into his stomach with his mighty club. Whitstan slid across the dirt and between the Vrykul’s legs, letting the business end of his sword tear through the savage’s loincloth as blood splashed against the Spell-Breaker’s head. Sliding straight toward the last and oldest of his aggressors, the elf dug his feet into the soil to lift his rear off the ground, successfully launching himself over the savage while a stone spear barely missed his gut. “Whitstan!” Zerethel shouted, as the spell breaker landed his front-flip. “Use this!”

Whitstan raised his hand as he caught his second sword, which burned a bright yellow from the pyromancer’s empowerment. Slapping the two hilts together, Whitstan twisted his wrists until they locked in place, returning his focus to the last Vrykul he had to deal with. The old monster drove his spear into the wounded Vrykul, slowly closing the corpse’s eyes with a giant bloodstained hand. The seasoned warrior rose to face Whitstan, roaring in anger as he began to strafe to his left, clearly ready to avenge what had to be his son. “Stay back, Zerethel.” He warned, raising one of his hands toward the pyromancer. “I’ve got this…” The Vrykul said something unintelligible in his native tongue before charging forward, as Whitstan rushed forward to end this duel once and for all.

Sparks showered the ground around them the moment the tip of the stone spear struck the searing blade, splitting the air in half with a thunderous clank. The spear was withdrawn and thrust forward again, catching the other end of Whitstan’s double-sword as he parried it away from his body; he knew one stab from this giant’s weapon would punch a hole big enough to fit a dwarf’s head in, so he had to stay on his toes as he looked for an opening. Whitstan used all of his strength to parry the spear downward, burying it into the dirt beneath his feet. He placed his boot against the weapon as he ran along it, hoping he would be able to reach the Vrykul’s collar in time, but he vastly underestimated the savage’s strength. The old giant roared while he flung the spear upward, launching the spell-breaker high into the air. Whitstan’s gauntlet caught a low hanging branch as he swung to his left, barely avoiding being crippled from the waist down by the tip of the spear. On his way down his boot slammed into a nearby tree, abruptly changing his trajectory to ensure he wouldn’t get impaled before he reached solid ground. Thrown into a frenzy, the Vrykul used every muscle in his body to lunge forward in an attempt to cut the elf in half by the waist; and in that brief instant, he saw his opening.

 Zerethel’s heart skipped a beat as the spear slipped just beneath Whitstan’s right arm, using his right hand to catch it before the savage could pull it back. The blazing end of his sword was brought down, slicing through the wooden spear like it was made of wheat. Using both of his hands Whitstan brought the sword up again, slashing through the Vrykul’s hand; the savage roared in agony while he staggered backward, slamming his back into a fallen tree. With one free hand he withdrew a stone dagger in a desperate attempt to finish what he started, but the burning end of Whitstan’s blade cut him off at the wrist. Twirling his double-sword in a flurry, the spell breaker roared as he slashed the Vrykul apart like a goblin woodcutter, painting the boulder red before he was able to slow himself down. Whitstan staggered back from exhaustion as what remained of the savage slid off the rock, landing along the beaten path with a heavy thud.

 “Are you wounded?” Zerethel asked, favoring his left leg while he limped toward Whitstan. Briefly, he looked around to take notice of the three dead giants sprawled around them, impressed he was able to finish them all off by himself.

 “Just winded,” Whitstan replied between breaths, using his wrist to rub Vrykul blood off his face. “You?”

 “I’ll live.” The pyromancer let out a dry wheeze as he rubbed the wound on his chest, thankful the claws of that putrid beast cut through his skin and little else. “I’m sure that’s not the last we’ve seen of those ani-” The pyromancer stopped mid-sentence once they both shot their gazes back down the path they came, hearing a shrill scream cut through the trees.

 A thousand screams pierced his consciousness as he desperately clung to reality. Pain overwhelmed him as his hands clung to his head. Although the pain might have been welcome for most of his kind, this was something else. This was a deliberate attempt at disabling him through sheer force. The Writhing Watcher appeared again, lurking just beyond the trees; clearly it was chasing him down. “Turn. Back. Now.”

His brain started shifting thoughts into place. Perhaps by the grace of the Priestess he was able to regain what was left of his sanity. He slowly adjusted to the reality at hand while he stared to the dark figure intent on keeping him lost here within his own mind. The sound of his teeth gritting echoed again through his trapped visage. “What… the fuck... are you?” he barely muttered out with a frustrated tone. His feet sank deep within the black snow that surrounded him.

“Death. Awaits. You.” The tendrils of the creature sank into the ground while it slowly lumbered forward. The scenery it walked past bled like a ruined painting, leaving nothing but a distorted mess in its wake. A thousand eyes opened in the open sores covering its body, stirring the air around the former Breaker to shimmer and burn from an unseen flame. “Turn. Back. Or. Perish.”

 He knew that this abomination was the very trap he sought to avoid until this point.  He moved forward disregarding what fear he should have felt at the presence of this aberration. Crunch. Crunch. He heard as he trudged forth. The black snow slowly gave way to his relentless movement as his steps grew into a light jog, gravitating toward the very monster that debilitated him. He continued to clutch his head as the screeching grew unbearably within his mind. The Writhing Watcher raised its arms disarmingly, almost as if it was preparing to hug Whitstan; but the numerous rows of blighted teeth poking from its sleeves and cloak told a different story. “Consume. Control. Contain.”

An uncontrolled rage lingered within him and bursted forward.  He moved without the need to catch his breath. His undead might shifted him forward to face the nightmare with little regard for his own safety. “DIE.” he commanded as he swung his greatsword down on the creature. He knew that the ethereal creature existed only in his mind yet he swung his sword with all his might, to no avail. When his blade reached the damp, darkened earth, there was no opponent to be found as the woods blackened around him.

 He violently spun around before his eyes settled on the repositioned image of the monstrosity. An instant dash toward it proved fruitful as he brought the sword from the ground up to the demon. The resistance the illusionary ground offered gave the thrust upward even more force as it broke free of its earthly tethers. Bottom to top, the image of the dark creature split as the blade ate through him. It twitched erratically for one second as if it were in terrible pain, but a second later and the Writhing Watcher fell limp; it drooped and melted into two puddles of thick black sludge, giving off an odorless yet unnerving aroma.

 “He’s going deeper.” Syrahn announced, briefly glancing up at Ijiro and Istrys before returning her gaze to Whitstan. He stared off into space with his eyelids faintly flickering; he looked dead - even more so than usual - but every now and then his lips would move, or his fingers would curl. Ijiro remained silent, holding onto one of Whitstan’s arms as he struggled with his own memories of being locked in an induced coma. Istrys held Whitstan’s feet, still in shock that the former Breaker had successfully ‘gone to sleep’; perhaps she would try it out one day as well. “I don’t think he has much further to go from here. I hope, anyway…”

 “You vile creature… sewn of darkness and hatred. I will end you.” he uttered out as his eyes shot open. “You’re quite the monster lurking in there…” he whispered out as the words echoed from his lips. “Want to see mine?” he responded while his lips grew into an abnormal grin that stretched supernaturally. His eyes dipped into a red tone as blood dripped from his mouth in droplets which soon turned to a river.

 “Overwhelm. Wilhelm.” The Writhing Watcher slowly took rise from one of the blackened puddles, but this time a second one identical in size and height emerged from the second puddle. They seemed either unfazed or completely oblivious to the stream of blood rushing past their bloated feet.

 “Time.” he uttered as he ushered forward, countless slashes being made within a fraction of a second of each other. The dark runeblade he wielded began to glow a bright red from the friction the wind offered. The countless strikes would not relent as his lips curled into a distorted smirk while he swung without caution. The Writhing Watchers were obliterated in a matter of seconds, chopped into too many pieces to count; instead of melting down into puddles, only a thick dark mist wafted through the stale air where they once stood.

 But each chunk began to violently grow, quickly dripping down into the black snow. “Overwhelm. Wilhelm. Overwhelm. Wilhelm.” The disorienting voice became deafening, as the twitching crowd of Writhing Watchers rose to their towering heights in singularity. He dropped his sword to grasp at his skull again, overcome by the assault on his senses. His teeth ground louder than before as he struggled to understand what was reality and what was not. The Priestess said he would help him and he delved into memory after memory to discover this monster that fought against the recovery of his true self. Yet there was still uncertainty that surrounded him as he tried to understand where he stood in reality. His footing disappeared as he reached up to grasp at what was real. The Writhing Watchers looked down on him as they hovered above.

 Their touch was toxic. The black sludge they were made out of burned at his flesh, covering his arms, legs and shoulders. They did not stop their chanting as they closed down onto him, covering every inch of his body until he could feel teeth flaying his bones. “Consume. Control. Contain.” Whitstan’s arms were gone, separated from his torso to disappear into their melding mass. His legs went next, cut clean from his hips with a dull snap. Only his head remained in the black abyss, leaving him dangling freely in absolute agony.

 “Hold him down!” Syrahn barked, as Whitstan began to violently thrash against his shackles; he was far stronger than the Priestess was prepared for, bending one of the shackles on his arm like it was made of gold. “Something’s wrong! Something is killing him!”

 “Istrys, do something!” Ijiro hissed through clenched teeth, using all of his might to bring Whitstan’s arm down against the table; but a surge of unholy strength threw the Hunter into the wall with a heavy smack. Syrahn struggled to keep his head steady, fearing what would happen if her hands slipped away from his temples. “Whitstan doesn’t have much longer.” Vesk whispered in the back of Istrys’ head.

“I can fucking see that!” She retorted, nearly getting her head kicked in by one of Whitstan’s feet. She poured a rush of Unholy energy into the former Breaker’s body in the same fashion as controlling a lifeless corpse. Slowly but surely, his body complied, allowing the Necromancer to calm him down.

 “Are you okay Jiro?!” Syrahn asked, keeping her gaze on Whitstan while she struggled to reconnect with his drifting consciousness. The Hunter let out a pained grunt, reaching up to rub the back of his head.

 “I’m fine, babe.” He eventually answered, rubbing blood between his fingers. “Fucker’s strong, yeah? Let’s not let that happen again.” Syrahn shot him a weary glance and gave him a firm nod; something about the fear in her eyes revealed she was in over her head, but it was far too late to stop now.

 Whitstan needed to see this through. They all did.

[entergamingxp]

World of Warcraft and Apex Legends • Eurogamer.net

Hello and welcome to the second of our Clash of Fans write-ups. This week we’ll be getting together in pairs (virtually) and forcing each other to play a beloved game. Then we’ll chat about what we made of it all. Next up is World of Warcraft and Apex Legends!

World of Warcraft

Emma: The idea with Clash of Fans is for everyone to play a game they haven’t tried before, but I must admit I have somewhat bent the rules on this one. I was actually introduced to World of Warcraft in a university games history seminar, of all things, as an example of an MMO with a declining player population – something which I’m sure horrified Oli when I told him.

Anyway, it’s been good to revisit the game on my own terms, and with more time. I used to be a big Star Wars: The Old Republic player a few years ago, so I’ve enjoyed having a look at where all those MMO mechanics came from.

I suppose we’d better start with character creation so you can judge my choices: I’m really sorry Oli, but I couldn’t bring myself to pick Horde. They seem like they’re trying very hard to be edgy. I also wanted to try out the Worgen race, who seem like they’re troubled but come out fighting for the “good” side, and therefore achieve a more balanced level of moodiness. I’m sure there’ll be something in the lore to disprove that point.

Even though the character creation is pretty limited compared to current-day titles, I do love how you end up getting so invested in your player-character, and almost put a part of yourself into them. I got inspired by the Worgen race to imagine my character as a sword-wielding, brooding she-wolf warrior – which is unusual for me, as I usually go for sneaky types. Now all I need is a proper cloak.

Fun fact: when I was about 14 and the Cataclysm expansion released, I used to draw fan art of those moody Worgen… even though I wasn’t allowed anywhere near World of Warcraft at the time. Maybe it was meant to be.

And here’s what inspired that fan art.

Oli: So, yes, I do feel very old right now, thanks. Even “games history” being a thing makes me feel old. But while WOW’s player population may have been declining then, and certainly still is, the game is still massive and has seen off every challenger in the interim, including The Old Republic. In your face, student Emma and her stupid stuffy games history professor.

Sorry. Nothing, maybe not even Nintendo, makes me come over more fanboy than this game. Is that a self-justification mechanism to defend the literal years of playtime I have sunk into this MMO? Probably, but that’s not just it. It’s telling, I think, that you felt so invested in your character and the Worgen race so early on – it must be something about the game’s art and simple but effective storytelling style that really hooks you in and encourages role-playing. In my head, my first character, a troll warrior, was a sort of clumsy eccentric who didn’t really want to be a warrior (because I didn’t – I was asked to roll one by my friends). You’re probably right about the Horde being the embarrassingly emo choice, but it is the choice I made 15 years ago and I live by it now. These people – orcs? zombies? cow-folk? – are my people. They’re my brothers and sisters. The sense of belonging is just so strong. Humans disgust me. Don’t even get me started on gnomes.

Every time Wes and I have a fun, nostalgic chat about WOW, there comes a point where I remember he played Alliance and I just feel very disappointed in him. It’s sad.

Anyway, how did you get on once you started playing? I remember the Worgen starting area being pretty action-packed and fun – a far cry from the pre-Cataclysm dustbowls where you had to kill boar for a million hours to get to level 10. (I should have made you play WOW Classic, shouldn’t I…)

Emma: I’m with you on the humans – the other choices are so much more imaginative, why on Earth would you pick something so bland?

My feelings on Gilneas are decidedly more mixed. The rainy setting and Victorian London vibes are fantastic, even if the whole lockdown situation is a little close to home right now. I love how deliciously chunky the art style is, the scale means you feel quite small next to everything, and I spent some time just wandering through houses to admire the interior design. There’s also something rather magical about how the areas transform once you’ve handed in a quest. That square you were once strolling through? Poof! It’s now a battlefield, and everything’s on fire.

On the flip side: good lord that’s a lot of fetch quests. I know this is like complaining a beach has too much sand, as MMOs are built on grind, but it’s made me realise SWTOR did a better job of disguising the fetch quests behind story beats – or at least providing big narrative pay-offs at the end. There weren’t really any characters I cared about in the starting area for WOW, so when the area flooded and it was supposed to be this big narrative moment, my reaction was “meh”. Although I did burst out laughing at the wild camera movement to convey the drama of the invading armada, it was just so charmingly clunky.

Images that precede unfortunate events.

Oli: Yeah, I can imagine that stuff is quite a lot more gauche than I remember it. At the time it was a big leap forward for storytelling in the game. A strange part of this game being such a big part of my life – and just so big – is that I really struggle to see it in the context of other games. I just see it in the context of itself. Recent expansions will make Gilneas look as old-fashioned as Gilneas made the game at launch look, but that doesn’t mean they actually feel modern.

And if you’re looking for characters to care about, you might be looking in the wrong place. The game has some lovely quest lines and the grand sweep of the story is quite exciting in places, but it doesn’t have a lot of room for characters.

As for fetch quests… I’ve played so much WOW I find the repetition soothing. I love the grind, I don’t need it to be disguised. It annoys me when I’m just walking backwards and forwards, but give me 10 monsters to kill in a metronomic fashion on the way and I’m happy. I am Pavlov’s gamer.

One thing I will say is that the starter area isn’t all that representative of what’s beyond it. Not that there’s less grind – there’s more, so much more. But the slightly awkward way the storytelling and quest mechanics sit next to each other gets smoothed away, and the delivery feels much more natural. The game becomes much more about exploring its vast maps, too, which is one of the things it’s best at.

Emma: I think the fetch quests would also be much more bearable if I was playing with someone else – soloing WOW isn’t exactly a natural way to play it, so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt for that! It’s a shame I couldn’t get to the stage where I could try a raid party, as I always wanted to have my own Leeroy Jenkins moment.

We haven’t talked about the actual combat mechanics yet, although I think I only really tried the most basic moves of all, which were varieties of bonking people on the head with a mace. It does get to the point where you figure out an order for your moves, and it feels great when that clicks: charge in, lay down a few smacks, and then bring out the more powerful moves and a finisher. I can understand how this makes the grind feel far more satisfying, particularly as one of my moves worked from jumping quickly from one battle to the next, and I had to figure out that time window. It turns out MMOs are part rhythm game: this is my take for the day.

Oli: That is a good and correct take. And yes, although it’s very basic at the start of the game, you’ve started to get a sense of what makes the game so hypnotic, and so good. Above all WOW has brilliant RPG classes, with expertly designed skills that are really satisfying to use. So once you get into the groove with your rotation, and start to learn how to optimise it – and learn to use situational skills as well when things get a bit more complex – it’s super rewarding.

WOW’s dirty secret is that most people, most of the time, are playing it solo. The dungeons and raids are definitely the game at its best; large-scale raiding is seen as the pinnacle of the game, but I think it’s the five-player dungeons that are better dynamically. If you can hang on to level 15, you’ll get to try one. I think they’re some of the best co-op gaming ever, even if players tend to rush through them a bit these days. But yes, questing is mostly done solo and is tuned as such.

That said, the best times I’ve ever had in the game have been questing with one friend. There’s just so much to discover, such a varied and exciting world, and it’s great doing it in company. If I could persuade you to keep playing, I’d say this: try a dungeon, and get to a point where you can really start to explore the landmasses. The environment art is incredible in its simple, colourful way, there’s no loading, and the world just goes on for ever.

I’d love to know how dated it feels to you. I think Blizzard has done a great job keeping a 15-year-old game feeling slick and playable, but that’s got to have its limitations.

Bleiddast means she-wolf in Welsh, according to the Welsh-English Online Dictionary. (‘Character names are serious business’ – Emma.)

Emma: Alas, I must have stopped just before reaching the first dungeon – I think the quest which involved killing a bunch of spiders finally finished me off. I’d always thought of myself as being a bit of a weird loner when playing MMOs by myself, so it’s reassuring to hear most people aren’t playing as part of huge organised clans.

As for WOW feeling dated, it’s probably the cutscenes where the game suffers most, as the older graphics and animation are more noticeable there. At one point you get bitten mid-quest and your character just flies across the room, which was both confusing and hilarious. The voice acting also gave me a chuckle, as it sounds so theatrical: particularly when the human version of a Worgen politely tells you you’re out of range, and the werewolf version sounds like a chain smoker. I also heard that particular line way too much.

Despite all this, the art style is strong enough to stand the test of time, and the core gameplay loop still feels solid – so that’s the most important thing for me. One of my university friends has offered to take me under her wing and teach me the ways of WOW, so I may be returning to it sooner than I thought. Time to try out one of those dungeons.

To see this content please enable targeting cookies. Manage cookie settings

Apex Legends

Oli: I’m scared. What’s happening? It says ‘Season 5’ everywhere. It boots up with a trailer of a lady fighting some robots while having apparently Significant Flashbacks, but the game itself shows no evidence of having any kind of story. The UI is a confusing mess and keeps shouting at me about Twitch Prime. My character’s lobby idle animation is all jerky. My PS4 Pro sounds like it’s going to die in the next five minutes.

I don’t do battle royale – I played Fortnite, like, once. In fact, I don’t really do multiplayer shooters in any form. I have bad aim and I get performance anxiety. I don’t find them relaxing or fun, I find them stressful. Apex Legends isn’t really helping me get over this.

I get why the game has been set up like this – it’s all about reducing the number of button presses between the player and a match. But it makes for a bewildering first impression. The tutorial covers the controls but otherwise isn’t very helpful, and I have to root around to get basic information such as what each character’s abilities are. It doesn’t feel welcoming at all. Also, while the characters look cool, I find the game’s art style in general very hard to read. I’m squinting at pickups to figure out what they are, and one part of the map looks much like all the others to me.

I’m sure it’ll click soon, but as someone who usually plays very different kinds of games, it’s remarkable to me how unwelcoming this is to a first-time player.

Following your advice, Emma, I picked Gibraltar, the tanky one, for my first match. I was matchmade with a Bloodhound but for some reason the third member of our trio never joined. I just followed Bloodhound around like a total liability, getting shot, staring blankly at pickups for ages and not knowing what my abilities were for. I felt bad for my partner. We managed 6th, though!

To see this content please enable targeting cookies. Manage cookie settings

Emma: I can’t imagine how confusing it must be to drop into Apex Legends’ lore right now. Because it’s a battle royale and nothing is permanent, Respawn mainly develops the story through trailers and tidbits on the website, all of which means it’s harder for new players to catch up. I’d recommend a trip to a wiki if you want to read up on the latest Loba/Revenant drama (it’s pretty good), but you can absolutely survive without. Although you should absolutely watch the video where Forge gets… introduced.

Apex has definitely caught a lot of flak for not being particularly beginner-friendly, in part because it’s just so fast and the encounters are super intense – although I believe Respawn introduced skill-based matchmaking to try to help new players. I’m hoping the in-match UI will click soon, too, as I think it takes a few games for your brain to figure out, and then things suddenly seem rather simple. Although it may take you far longer to figure out how to use the abilities tactically. I think I’m still figuring it out for some characters.

Saying that, please do keep trying new legends, as there’s a playstyle for everyone. My personal favourite is Pathfinder, as flinging yourself through the air and bursting into battles via zip-line is just so much fun. I love that chaotic energy.

Although you’ve been having issues with the UI, I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on the ping system: it’s adaptive and means you can communicate without the need for voice chat, which is such a life saver (particularly for women – no more toxic conversations, hurray). How have you found it?

To see this content please enable targeting cookies. Manage cookie settings

Oli: Ping is absolutely brilliant. It’s a masterstroke. I’m not using it with confidence myself yet, but having teammates use it to point out pickups and enemies, or just set waypoints, is awesome. I don’t love voice chat at the best of times, but I often can’t use it at home, so I love that Respawn has found a way to make that level of teamplay available without voice. That’s a big plus for accessibility.

I’m feeling much better after my second match, mostly because WE WON. This is now the best game ever.

I still wasn’t any good, especially at the shooting – we were totally carried, by a Bloodhound again – but I used my abilities at sensible times, got a couple of kills and a revive, and it felt good, man. Partly we were just lucky and didn’t really encounter anyone for a long midsection of the match. I haven’t got used to the pacing of battle royales, yet – often, you’re not really doing much, and yet this is helping you win as the other teams wipe each other out. It feels weird.

The game handles beautifully – no surprise from Respawn. I love the mantling and the slides and the guns feel great to fire. And yes, encounters are fast, but you’ve got the bleeding out mechanic to give you a bit of a chance to rally as a team, which is a nice touch.

I have mixed feelings about it being teams only. To begin with this stressed me out, as I prefer to learn a game without the pressure of strangers depending on me. But actually, it makes it much easier and more accessible if you can spread the load a bit, doesn’t it? And it adds a nice sense of camaraderie to what would be a pretty alienating experience otherwise.

Emma: The sliding is so good! I love it so much, in fact, that I’ve inadvertently started sliding around in other shooters – my squad mates noticed me doing this around corners in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare a couple of times. Apex seems to be one of the few battle royales where there’s no fall damage, which may seem like a small thing, but it means you don’t have pointless (and annoying) deaths from accidentally falling off things. It’s much more exciting to be shot by someone, right?

Funnily enough, Respawn actually tried a solo mode for Apex as a limited-time event a while back, and for me (and Respawn) it really didn’t work. Without teammates you lose the communication of the ping system, which as you mention, somehow wordlessly forms bonds between you and your squad before the fighting has even begun. You also end up dying quickly in situations where you can’t even react, which is particularly annoying in a battle royale where you have to re-queue rather than just respawn. No second chances.

Having a team means you have the added drama of revives, and also respawns – a system which Apex was first to introduce among the big battle royale games, with Fortnite and Warzone later doing their own versions. I don’t know if this has happened to you yet, but on occasion you can find yourself collecting the respawn banners of your two dead squadmates and sprinting to the nearest respawn beacon. It becomes a tense game of parkour and stealth at that point, and adds another layer to the storytelling in each match. It just makes it so much more memorable.

And congratulations on your win – now you’ll always be chasing the next one. Particularly as Apex puts your name in flashing lights around the arena.

Do you come here often? Yes, unfortunately.

Oli: I noticed about fall damage and breathed a sigh of relief, yeah! I haven’t clicked with the map for this game – it doesn’t feel like a place I’m excited to be – but they have made getting around it feel liberating and fun with the ziplines and stuff, and I appreciate that.

I have been respawned but I haven’t done it for anyone else yet. I don’t think I could take the responsibility.

After feeling like I had got somewhere with Gibraltar, I tried Wraith. Having an alarm when you’re targeted is a really clever idea for a passive skill – I am digging the skill design in this game. If anything is going to get me to come back, it will be experimenting with all the different legends. I didn’t get on so well with Wraith though, and had a couple of strange matches where nothing happened for ages and then our squad got wiped out in a flash. It feels really frustrating. It also feels like it’s going to take me an age to get any good at combat, because it actually forms only a tiny proportion of the time you spend playing a match.

This probably appeals to me the most of the battle royale games – it’s got that slick Respawn feel and the kind of refined design I like, with strong characters with interesting abilities. I also feel like I understand the appeal of battle royale much better after my win! But I don’t know if I could dedicate serious time to these games. They’re too much of an emotional rollercoaster for me. Too much stress. Now I need to go and soothe my cares away with a spot of repetitive grind in World of Warcraft…

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/05/world-of-warcraft-and-apex-legends-%e2%80%a2-eurogamer-net/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=world-of-warcraft-and-apex-legends-%25e2%2580%25a2-eurogamer-net

[paulisweeabootrash]

New Year’s Mini-Review Pack 2019

Another year is over and I want to make the mini-review pack from last year a yearly tradition to announce it.

Sometimes I watch shows that I have something to say about, but I don't feel like writing a real review of them.  Here are the five I want to highlight this year.

Happy New Year, nerds!

-----

1. Food Wars (2015)

Episodes watched: 7

Platform: Hulu

Souma is in the family diner business, trained by his father on expert renditions of “low-class” foods.  He expects to continue in the family business, and even rescues the diner (via cooking, naturally) from sabotage by a developer trying to pressure his father into selling the building so it can be replaced with high-rise apartments.  But despite that, his father shuts down the restaurant “for a few years” to go abroad and sends Souma to a fancy boarding school for aspiring chefs.  The school is sprawling and eclectic in a way only anime boarding schools can be.  And, like any self-respecting anime boarding school, it naturally has three things: an absolutely nonsensical student government, an extraordinary level of old-school elitism, and most importantly, duels.  Disputes can be settled through challenges of head-to-head Iron Chef-style cooking, with wagers riding on them ranging from "you have to join this club if you lose" to "you're expelled if you lose".  As far as I’ve watched so far, there are a few episodes focused on setting up the premise and main characters and a few focused on these competitions between students.  Although the latter concept can be tedious because I’m not much of a tournament show person, it is nevertheless fun because this show commits to its absurdity.

Classic W/A/S: 6 / 7 / 3

Weeb: Ludicrous school setups!  The main character progressing through a series of duels!  Tentacles!  In-depth descriptions of Japanese food!  It's not the kind of weeb that makes it incomprehensible to those not familiar with the tropes, but it's certainly very Japanese.

Ass: This show has been described to me by several people as "literal food porn", and... yeah.  The cold open scene to the first episode contains... uh... basically tentacle porn.  I'm sorry.  The feelings of characters' pleasure (or revulsion) in food is depicted metaphorically and absolutely over-the-top, often with the pleasure of delicious food being heavily sexualized.  And there's plenty of sexualization of both male and female characters even outside of these scenes, although it never crosses the line into full nudity.

Shit: Very well-drawn!  The food is particularly gorgeous, as you'd expect, but the other imagery is creative, and the melodramatic writing and music are not bad, even fitting for so outlandish and cheesy a concept.

PS: I haven’t actually tried making it... yet... but the gag dish introduced in ep. 1, grilled squid with peanut butter, sounds good to me, despite the negative results you can easily find... and others seem to agree, since the concept predates the show.  Just make a peanut-butter-based-sauce rather than just using peanut butter and it should be fine.

-----

2. Hinamatsuri (2018)

Episodes watched: 12

Platform: Crunchyroll

Hina, a time-traveling middle-school-aged psychic, arrives in our time, in the apartment of a very confused yakuza operative, Nitta Yoshifumi, who takes her in.  Shenanigans ensue, mostly centering around hilarious misunderstandings and the dubious life lessons Yoshifumi and other mobsters impart.  Mostly, the comedy and story are propelled by Hina and two other girls we meet early on: another time-traveler, Anzu, who is sent to retrieve her, fails, and gets stuck in our time, and Hitomi, whom Hina meets as a classmate when Yoshifumi enrolls Hina in school under the name Nitta Hina (claiming she is his daughter), and who gets intimidated into taking an after-school job as a bartender that she struggles to keep secret. The show's format is two segments per episode focusing on different slice of life-ish stories (though with solid continuity and more ongoing plot than you might expect for that characterization), and is usually comedic but also veers into drama and incredible sweetness.  Hina is deadpan, bad at conversation, and unable to unable to understand the context or motives of what others are saying, in a way that honestly almost makes me think autism(?), but I'm guessing is probably supposed to just be "she was raised in the creepy time travel organization and they didn't train her to socialize".  Anzu is a different outcome of the same deprivation: after not returning Hina to their own time, she moves into a homeless camp and quickly takes in the life lessons of the residents, becoming earnest, helpful, and incredibly resistant to spending money, but completely baffled and amazed at how our world works.  Hitomi, the only "normal" one, is just... the best.  The episode about her first becoming a bartender felt like a backdoor pilot, and if it were I would absolutely watch that spinoff.  The first segment of ep. 10, also starring Hitomi, is the funniest "compounding misunderstandings"-style comedy I've seen in a while... and I'm a big Arrested Development fan, so that means something.

Classic W/A/S: 3 / 2 / 3

Weeb: There are some distinctly Japanese traditions depicted, but most elements of the show could be moved to a different setting and "reskinned" for different cultures' organized crime, foods, shopping options, homeless camps, etc., without sacrificing any of the plot or comedy.  Mostly, its distinctly Japanese features are that it relies on imagery and exaggerations that absolutely scream "comedy anime".

Ass: Sexual humor and references, occasionally, but not going to far. Recurring nudity, but not full and not for fanservice.  Actually, it seems as if they've taken a cue from Terminator and assumed that, for whatever reason, you have to time-travel naked.

Shit: This show is practically made of reaction images.  Although it's not the best animated, it's very consistent, clean, and expressive.  They do well with how they did it.  The show practically demands a second season in its last episode, and I think it could make it all the way down to a score of 2 or even 1 on here if they do so and upgrade the animation a bit.  The characters are distinctly and pleasantly designed and rarely does a scene go by that isn't hilarious not because of some kind of rapid-fire jokes thing but because each segment is set up so well and characters play off each other.  Hina's lack of affect gets a little tiresome, but the other characters are great, and usually get a large chunk of an episode's screentime.

-----

3. Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?  Arrow of the Orion (2019)

Episodes watched: n.a. — movie

Platform: in theater

Picking up sometime between the first and second seasons of the main series of Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon (or Danmachi for short, derived from the Japanese title), this follows the main cast of Bell Cranel and his ragtag dungeon-crawling party on a new quest. Artemis, Greek goddess of chastity and hunting, is in search, via Hermes, of an adventurer who can wield "the Orion" (a drastically OP spear with the power to kill gods themselves) to destroy Antares, a monster who keeps wiping out adventuring parties and has become a threat to the entire world because [spoiler].  A love... square... ensues between Bell, Hestia, Lili, and Artemis, and other various shenanigans happen that will make much more sense if you've seen the main show and its companion/spinoff, Sword Oratoria. I personally didn't find the affection between Bell and Artemis particularly believable, and I didn't expect the ending to go quite the way it did, but I try not to complain about a story not being the story I wanted it to be.  Watch it if you're already a Danmachi fan or really really like weird takes on classical mythology.  Skip if not.

Classic W/A/S: 3 / 4 / 4

Weeb: Prior knowledge of Danmachi helps immensely, but is not strictly required as there is a and although the show is another "what if we just mix a bunch of mythologies together?" and "what if a real world functioned on RPG logic?" premise, it does occasionally have an idea thrown in that will be foreign to much of the American audience (even if not distinctly Japanese), such as the Buddhist idea of gods themselves being reincarnated (something that also came up in Noragami).

Ass: As the after-credits interview feature says, they wondered whether or not they should keep -sigh- the panty shot.  And they went with "yes".  Also, peeping on women bathing has, unfortunately, become a running joke whenever Hermes appears in Danmachi, so be prepared for that.  Without giving spoilers, though, let me just say I hope not all of the nudity comes off as sexual.

Shit: The monsters are hit-or-miss CGI, sometimes blending with the 2D animation of the rest, sometimes looking so jarring it's actually funny. The 2D art is usually beautiful, though, and as much as I love the show, this is definitely an art upgrade overall.  The plot has a few dumb elements, honestly, or at least not well-enough-developed ones, that make me wonder if it could have worked better as a story arc in the show itself (actually developing a relationship between Artemis and Bell).  The score is a mix of reused tracks from the show plus some new stuff that sounds pretty Jurassic Park-era John Williams to me.  A few subtitle choices are noticeably different from the show, but not consequential to understanding things.  There were a lot of ugly audio glitches, especially early on, but I hope that's a problem with the equipment at the theater I went to and not the editing of the movie.

-----

4. Supernatural the Animation (2011)

Episodes watched: 1.

Platform: Hulu.

This show follows Sam and Dean Winchester, who -- yup, you're on the right blog, and yup, that's "Supernatural" as in the long-running American live action series.  For those not familiar, the original is a sprawling drama set in basically "our world except all mythologies and folklores are true", and follows the aforementioned Winchester brothers, who hunt monsters in situations that range from their straightforward monster-of-the-week investigations to meta-humor to multi-season story arcs involving multiple trips to Hell itself.  My wife is a huge fan, so I've seen a lot of episodes just incidentally, and enjoyed some of them, but haven't really followed the show.  She assures me, though, that this anime adaptation is loosely based on the first two seasons.  So loosely that at first she thought it was some sort of interquel or sidestory.  The first episode comes off feeling like you're supposed to already be familiar with the main characters -- that they're brothers, that they're monster hunters, why they're looking for their missing father -- because not much actually gets explained.  It’s unremarkable and badly-executed and ugh.

Classic W/A/S: 3 / 1? / 7

Weeb: Although the source material is American (and further back, European and Middle Eastern, given the influence of European folklore traditions and the Abrahamic religions on the choice and depiction of monsters), it's presented in a very Japanese style. This is especially true in reworking the original's horror tendencies -- the blood splatter from offscreen and the writhing, lurching body horror that is the shapeshifter seem much more like what little I've seen of Japanese horror than American.

Ass: I forgot to write anything for this immediately after I watched it and I don't care enough to go back and check but I don't remember anything that would fall under the headings of fanservice or general nudity.

Shit: Variable.  There are occasional moments of bad CG, occasional low-frame-rate weirdness, and disjointed storytelling compared to what I've seen of the original.  The art style is pretty interesting, though, because it's not something you see animated much -- its angular faces and stark shadows remind me of the darker end of American superhero comics.  Although it's certainly not the technically worst show I've reviewed in either story or art, I find it extremely unpleasant and do not want to continue past one episode.  If you feel like doing so, feel free to tell me if it gets any better.

Content: Violence and horror imagery is somehow both less extreme and more successfully unsettling (at least to me) than those in the original live-action show.

[marymperezga]

Best Of Havana: What To Do In Cuba’s Capital City

Best Things to do in Havana, Cuba

Havana, Cuba

The vibrant capital city of Havana, Cuba has long been inaccessible to American travelers, but thankfully this is no longer the case. Here are some of my favorite things to do in the City of Columns!

In recent years, Cuba has seen major changes and opened its doors to visitors. More and more American’s are now visiting Cuba than ever before, and tourism has been on the rise — for good reason!

Only an hour away from Miami by plane, Havana is a majestic blend of old and new, vintage cars and colorful, often crumbling infrastructure; its energy pulses with a vibrant mix of Spanish colonial architecture, booming nightlife and kitschy art galleries.

For a small city, Havana seems to have an endless list of things to do catering to every kind of traveler. Maybe you’re a cigar aficionado or simply looking for some R&R, Havana has something to offer everyone.

Best Things To Do In Havana

After spending some time in the capital city during my road trip around Cuba, I wanted to put together a comprehensive travel guide to Havana that would help you plan your own journey.

This is part of what makes Havana unique and what captivated me in particular — the sense that there is always something more to uncover around every corner.

Whether it’s a sultry salsa performance or hidden bar tucked away behind the narrow streets of a colorful neighborhood — you’ll never get bored of things to do!

Visit El Morro Castle

Cuba’s Pirate Protection

El Morro Castle, otherwise known as “Castillo del Morro”, is a great starting point once you arrive in Havana. It’s situated on top of a rocky promontory at the entrance of Havana’s bay—it can’t be missed! It’s a massive fort with an equally impressive history.

The castle was built starting in 1590 to protect Havana against military attacks, and also served as a watch post to keep an eye out for enemies (like pirates!). It is composed of 3 bastions linked by curtain walls, casemented barracks and also houses cisterns, a chapel, officer’s quarters, a wine cellar, stables, and dungeons.

Today, Morro Castle is used as a museum and can be visited for a small fee. Its fantastic views make it a great first stop, a short taxi ride from the city center.

Explore Old Havana On Foot

Local Neighborhoods in Havana Vieja

As both the city center and the municipality with the second highest population density in Havana, Havana Vieja is quite possibly the most beautiful area of the city and a must-see if you’re visiting. Many buildings have fallen into ruin, but many starting to get restored.

The area is a colorful labyrinth of narrow streets, lively local neighborhoods, courtyards, forts, monuments, and churches that make up the pulsating heart of Havana. While you should definitely enjoy yourself strolling around the old city, just beware of jineteros, local hustlers trying to make a buck off you.

Tropicana Nightclub Show

Havana’s Most Famous Nightlife

Known as one of the hottest cabaret shows in the world, the Tropicana Nightclub Show is a world-famous spectacle set in a lush, tropical open-air venue that bursts with colorful lights, glitter, and glam. Salsa-charged and sensual, it’s a must-do activity during any trip to Havana Cuba.

Performers’ gaudy, feathered costumes are spectacles in and of themselves, but it’s the show as a whole that leaves you floored. Tickets are a bit pricey -— roughly $85 USD per person -— but include a welcome drink and cigar. We had a great night there!

Tour Havana By Classic Car

Tour Havana by Classic Car

When you think of things to do in Havana, chances are rolling down the street in a colorful, vintage convertible with the top down is a top contender. There are plenty of options for vintage car tours in Havana, and most operate like a regular taxi.

For pre-planned tours, there is usually a flat-fee (about 40 – 50 CUC per hour) that the driver communicates up front. But if you’re feeling spontaneous, you can easily hail a vintage car to go anywhere in the city. Make sure to stop in some photogenic locations to get those Instagram photos!

Stroll Along “El Malecon” Boardwalk

Stroll Along the Seaside on El Malecon

If you want an intimate glimpse at life in Havana, walk El Malecon. Translated as “the pier”, El Malecon is a restored seafront walkway situated along the city’s north coastline and provides lovely views of Havana’s iconic architecture.

It’s also the unofficial symbol of the city, and often can be seen on postcards and in films. El Malecon is a destination in and of itself, so food and music is abundant all along the pier.

And if you visit during late July or early August, El Malecon comes alive with one of the biggest festivals in Cuba —- the Havana Carnival.

Enjoy Cuban Cigars At Hotel Nacional

Cigars & Rum at Havana’s Famous Hotel Nacional

Cuba has elevated cigar smoking to an art form. For that reason, you can pretty much find a good cigar anywhere in Havana—but if you’re looking for the best spot to light up and take in the classy, glamorous, atmosphere that this city evokes, look no further than Hotel Nacional.

Hotel Nacional is not only the most famous hotel in Havana -— it’s also home to one of the city’s best cigar shops called La Casa del Habano. Or you can enjoy your cigar in the hotel’s backyard and bar, relaxing amidst ocean views, palm trees, and even peacocks strolling by!

Visit Hemingway’s Watering Holes

Have a Drink at El Floridita Bar

Ernest Hemingway lived outside Havana for twenty years, and naturally got much of the inspiration for his novels from the city—more specifically, from its bars. El Floridita, Dos Hermanos and La Bodeguita del Medio were Hemingway’s favorite bars when he lived there, and today they can be visited just like any other bar.

Watch out though, as a few of them have turned into tourist traps. La Bodeguita was my favorite Hemingway-approved watering hole and still retains much of the subdued, authentic atmosphere you’d expect Hemingway probably loved. They have live salsa music, and also make a mean mojito, which never hurts.

Try A Cuban Pizza!

Typical Cuban Pizza in Havana

Sure, everyone knows they should eat a Cuban sandwich while in Cuba. But did you know these famous sandwiches were actually created in Florida? Instead, why not order a classic Cuban pizza while visiting Havana!

What makes Cuban pizza special is the “sofrito” — essentially a holy mix of onion, garlic, and bell pepper sautéed in olive oil with tomato and spices. In Havana, crappy pizza is everywhere, and the good stuff is a bit trickier to find.

For starters, I recommend heading to 5 Esquinas Trattoria on Cuarteles Avenue. Their pizza is baked in a wood oven, and the spot is a prime location for people-watching. Another tasty spot is Bella Ciao, which has a reputation for the freshest pizza (and pasta!) in Havana.

Hit The Beaches Nearby

Packed Weekend at Playa Santa Maria

Cuba’s proximity to the equator means that it’s always beach season in Havana. The island’s entire coastline is pretty much a white sand, turquoise-watered dream, so it’s hard to go wrong with picking a beach.

If you’re looking for a party atmosphere, head to Santa María del Mar, the biggest and most well-known beach in Havana. The downside to this one, though, is the crowds. But if you’re visiting in the autumn or winter you should be ok.

If you’re looking for a quieter beach day that isn’t as popular with tourists, try Playa Boca Ciega.

How About Some Rum In A Box?

Horrible Cheap Rum in a Box…

Wander the streets of Havana for a night on the town, and you’ll soon learn all about “rum in a box”. Known as the juice box for big kids, this rotgut rum is sold in individual packs. You’ll see locals partying with their box of Tumbao or Planchao.

It’s cheap as hell, pretty disgusting, and will leave you with a painful headache the next morning if you drink too much of it. But if you want to make some new friends, rip a fresh box open with your teeth and pass it around!

Visit The Capitol Building

Havana’s Capitol Building

El Capitolio, or Cuba’s Capitol Building, was built in 1929 and based off of the US Capitol in Washington DC. It has been closed to the public for the last 8 years for a big restoration project — but just recently re-opened.

Previously used as the Ministry of Science & Technology, the newly renovated structure is now the seat of Cuba’s national assembly, where they selected a new president last April. Visitors can tour the Capitol in groups of 15 from Tuesday to Sunday each week.

Dance To Some Cuban Music

Live Cuban Salsa Music

Salsa is everywhere in Havana—in bars, restaurants, even impromptu dances along sidewalks are a regular occurrence. We hit the bars & clubs a few different times to check out live music, one of my favorites was a bar called Kilometro Zero.

But if you want to take your salsa admiration one step further, sign up for a lesson. Casa del Son is Havana’s biggest and best dance school, offering locals and visitors classes in just about every type of traditional Cuban dance.

Watch Cannons Blast Off!

Fort San Carlos Cannon Ceremony

Ever since the 18th-century, a cannon has been fired in Havana every evening at 9pm at the Fortaleza San Carlos de la Cabaña (Fort of St Charles). Back then, Havana was divided in two and Cuba’s Spanish rulers would fire the cannon to inform the Habaneros to take shelter against pirate attacks.

Today, the nightly event is still quite a spectacle, equipped with a drum roll and artillery cadets lining the fort dressed in colonial uniforms. The event is free, always on time, and onlookers are encouraged! This is one of the lesser-known things to do in Havana.

Stay Hydrated With Guarapo

Cuban Sugar Cane Juice

What is guarapo, you ask? It’s raw sugar cane juice that’s been extracted from palm-tree sap, and also the most delicious drink you can find in Cuba. The cheapest, too. It’s usually mixed with lime and ice and can be found pretty much in every bar, restaurant, or street side bodega.

You can also try it as an alcoholic beverage (usually mixed with rum). Guarapo is on of the best drinks to try in Havana, and a consistently fantastic spot to get your cane-juice drink on is Arsenal Street, right in front of the train station.

Viñales Tobacco Fields Road Trip

Visit the Tobacco Farms of Vinales

After a few days in Havana, no one would blame you for wanting to escape the city for a day to find something else to do, and the town of Viñales should fix you right up. It’s a small village tucked away in the middle of green fields, tobacco plantations and rock formations.

About a 2-3 hour drive from Havana, Viñales makes for a great day trip, although I do recommend spending at least one night there to get the full sense of the town.

There are buses leaving daily from Havana to Viñales, or you can rent a classic car like we did. Viñales is known for its tobacco farms and limestone hills. Horseback riding is a popular way to enjoy the lush scenery and country atmosphere.

Visit Cámera Obscura

View from the Gómez Vila Building

You can get a brilliant 360-degree panoramic view of Old Havana from the top floor of the Gómez Vila building in Plaza Vieja, the tallest building in Old Havana. It’s got the only “Camera Oscura” in all of Latin America and the Caribbean.

The camera projects real-time images of the city at 30X magnification through just a peephole onto a dark screen. Havana’s Cámera Obscura costs only 2 CUC to visit, and even the view from the roof is totally worth it.

Trip Out In Fusterlandia

Fusterlandia Art Installation

Cuba’s rich artistic tradition is alive and well in part thanks to artist Jose Fuster, who has built a mosaic tile wonderland called Fusterlandia in the fishing village of Jaimanitas, just 20 minutes outside of Havana.

Fusterlandia is unique in that it isn’t its own site-specific artwork, but rather crafted into the neighborhood. Residents have actually allowed Fuster to decorate their homes and turn them into colorful, eye-popping gems.

There is a gallery you can visit between 9:30am and 4:00pm, Wednesday to Sunday. If you don’t make it to the gallery, you can always just drive through the neighborhood to get a feel of things.

Eat At A Local Paladar

Where to Eat in Havana

If you only stick to government-run restaurants frequented by tourists, you’ll miss out on Cuba’s true flavor. So make sure to stop into a paladar (locally-run restaurant) for an authentic Cuban food experience.

Good Cuban food is a delicious fusion of African and Spanish food, and very much resembles a lot of the food you can find throughout the Caribbean — rich, dense, and heavy on the spices.

One great paladar I recommend is called San Cristóbal, located in the bottom floor of an early 20th-century mansion. Make sure you try the traditional ropa vieja. Shredded, stewed beef with vegetables!

Explore Havana’s Green Forest

Explore Havana’s Forest

El Bosque De La Habana (the Lungs of Havana) is a swamp-like forest home to the Almendares River and is a popular spot for locals to get away from the city center and breathe some fresh air. It’s a recreational area for Habaneros with playgrounds and an amphitheater for concerts.

Many of Havana’s classic car tours pass through the park. The 300-year-old banyan trees are covered in green vines, and it’s a very cool place to visit. You might see locals practicing Santeria in the river, a Caribbean religion where members sacrifice animals.

Plaza De La Revolución

Giant Che Guevara Mural at Revolution Square

The largest public square in Cuba, and one of the largest in the world, Plaza de la Revolucion is where Cuba’s most important government offices are located. The Ministerio del Interior boasts a massive mural of Cuba’s revolutionary hero Che Guevara.

The square is a bit out of the way from the heart of the capital, so most tourists get there via one of the classic car taxis that you can rent from Old Havana. Driving by this famous mural was one of my favorite things to do in the city.

Pop By Hemingway’s Old House

Earnest Hemingway’s House in Havana

Just outside of Havana you’ll find Finca Vigía, the former colonial home of Earnest Hemingway. It’s where he wrote some of his most famous novels like: For Whom the Bell Tolls and The Old Man and the Sea. You can’t go inside the house itself, but you can look through the windows.

There’s a museum there open from 10am to 4pm Monday through Saturday and 9am to 1pm on Sundays. It’s a bit of a haul to get out there from Havana, so only do this if you have some extra time. Visit early in the morning to avoid the bus tour crowds.

Hotel Kempinski Rooftop Pool

This beautiful panoramic pool terrace and bar at Havana’s Gran Hotel Manzana Kempinski has awesome views of the Havana Vieja area, including the recently refurbished Capitol Building.

This new infinity rooftop pool (and the luxury hotel) is an example of things to come as Cuba prepares for increased tourism. Unfortunately, Americans aren’t technically allowed to book this hotel, as it’s owned by the Cuban government.

Fabrica De Arte Cubano

The Cuban Art Factory

The Cuban Art Factory was founded by famous Afro-Cuban musician X-Alfonso, and is one of Havana’s hippest spots to soak in modern Cuban culture. It’s a mix between a nightclub, gallery, and performance center that promotes local Cuban artists, writers, photographers, and filmmakers.

Open from Thursday to Sunday, this giant factory building is often packed by 11pm, and is the perfect place to start your wild night on the town in Havana. Each room is different — some with live bands, others full of art. You’ll have a wonderful experience no matter what you’re in to.

The Revolution Museum

Plane from Cuban Revolution

Formerly the Presidential Palace, Havana’s Revolution Museum depicts the time period before, during, and right after the Cuban Revolution. You can still find bullet holes in the central staircase from a failed assassination attempt of President Fulgencio Batista.

Out back you’ll find some old military vehicles, tanks used during the Bay of Pigs operation, airplanes, and the yacht used to ferry Castro from Mexico to Cuba to start the revolution in the first place.

Climb La Guarida’s Staircase

Old-School Romantic Staircase

Probably’s Havana’s most famous Paladar, La Guarida Restaurant sits at the top floor of an old dilapidated-looking building, complete with a beautiful grand staircase. Traveling celebrities often stop in to eat here.

It’s usually difficult to book a table, and the meal prices aren’t cheap either. But you’re really paying for the interesting atmosphere & history. It kinda feels like you’re staring into your own international spy movie from the 50’s! Pretty cool.

Getting To (and Around) Havana

Despite the recent easing of Cuba’s travel laws, some restrictions are still in place for Americans. Technically you can only visit if you fall into one of 12 special categories.

However there are some ways around the rules, and it’s totally possible to visit as a tourist if you follow a few completely legal “loopholes”.

➜ How To Legally Visit Cuba As An American

Airlines that serve Cuba directly from the US now include: Alaska Airlines, American Airlines, Delta Airlines, Jet Blue, Southwest Airlines, Spirit Airlines, and United Airlines.

Once you’re on the ground, local taxis are everywhere. There are the classic car versions, which are kinda expensive (negotiate first), or the local shared taxis, which only cost 0.50 CUC per person (but you need to know their set route or speak Spanish).

Best Time To Visit Havana

Havana is sunny year-round, so you really can’t go wrong in terms of choosing a time of year to visit. But be wary of the force of the Cuban sun. For those who are prone to heat exhaustion or have lighter skin, take extra precaution.

The autumn can be lovely but visiting then is risky because of hurricane season. I find that a happy medium is to visit sometime in the winter (November-March), as it’s both warm enough to enjoy the beaches but not hot enough to make you wish you were holed up in your air-conditioned hotel.

During the winter, the crowds have lessened and you can experience a more authentic Havana. Plus, New Year’s Eve in the city is an unforgettable spectacle.

Where To Stay In Havana

The most authentic places to stay in Havana are called Casa Particulares, which are guest rooms in Cuban family homes that you can find by simply asking around.

Typically, these rooms run from 10 to 30 CUC per night, but be sure to add a bit to that cost if you want homemade breakfast included.

Hotel Saratoga, Hotel Nacional de Cuba, and Hotel Florida

Travel Tips for Havana Cuba

Useful Travel Tips For Havana

If you want to save some money, and don’t have to go too far, trying hiring a bicycle taxi or a “coco taxi” scooter for a fun ride.

Don’t spend all your time in Havana! There is so much more to Cuba than the capital city. Check out Vinales, Trinidad, and Varadero if you have the time.

Bring a filtered water bottle, as bottled water can sometimes be difficult to find outside of major cities.

Even if you normally prefer hotels, I recommend spending at least one night in a casas particular with locals to see what it’s like.

Learn some basic Spanish words! While some English is common in Havana, attempting to speak Spanish will give you more opportunities to interact with people.

USEFUL TRAVEL RESOURCES FOR CUBA

Havana Map – Plan your trip around Cuba with this handy map Planning Advice – Get help planning a legal trip to Cuba Book A Flight: Learn how I find the cheapest airline flights Find A Hotel: My tips for booking affordable accommodation Protect Your Stuff: WorldNomads.com can insure your trip & gear Recommended Guidebook: Lonely Planet Cuba Suggested Reading: The Other Side Of Paradise

READ MORE FROM CUBA

How To Travel To Cuba For Americans Horseback Riding & Tobacco Farms In Vinales Discovering The Magic Of Trinidad Cuba Cuba Travel Guide: Travel Tips & Costs

Have any travel questions about things to do in Havana? Other suggestions or tips? Drop me a message in the comments below!

This is a post from The Expert Vagabond adventure blog.

from Tips For Traveling https://expertvagabond.com/havana-cuba/

[kevingbakeruk]

Best Of Havana: What To Do In Cuba’s Capital City

Best Things to do in Havana, Cuba

Havana, Cuba

The vibrant capital city of Havana, Cuba has long been inaccessible to American travelers, but thankfully this is no longer the case. Here are some of my favorite things to do in the City of Columns!

In recent years, Cuba has seen major changes and opened its doors to visitors. More and more American’s are now visiting Cuba than ever before, and tourism has been on the rise — for good reason!

Only an hour away from Miami by plane, Havana is a majestic blend of old and new, vintage cars and colorful, often crumbling infrastructure; its energy pulses with a vibrant mix of Spanish colonial architecture, booming nightlife and kitschy art galleries.

For a small city, Havana seems to have an endless list of things to do catering to every kind of traveler. Maybe you’re a cigar aficionado or simply looking for some R&R, Havana has something to offer everyone.

Best Things To Do In Havana

After spending some time in the capital city during my road trip around Cuba, I wanted to put together a comprehensive travel guide to Havana that would help you plan your own journey.

This is part of what makes Havana unique and what captivated me in particular — the sense that there is always something more to uncover around every corner.

Whether it’s a sultry salsa performance or hidden bar tucked away behind the narrow streets of a colorful neighborhood — you’ll never get bored of things to do!

Visit El Morro Castle

Cuba’s Pirate Protection

El Morro Castle, otherwise known as “Castillo del Morro”, is a great starting point once you arrive in Havana. It’s situated on top of a rocky promontory at the entrance of Havana’s bay—it can’t be missed! It’s a massive fort with an equally impressive history.

The castle was built starting in 1590 to protect Havana against military attacks, and also served as a watch post to keep an eye out for enemies (like pirates!). It is composed of 3 bastions linked by curtain walls, casemented barracks and also houses cisterns, a chapel, officer’s quarters, a wine cellar, stables, and dungeons.

Today, Morro Castle is used as a museum and can be visited for a small fee. Its fantastic views make it a great first stop, a short taxi ride from the city center.

Explore Old Havana On Foot

Local Neighborhoods in Havana Vieja

As both the city center and the municipality with the second highest population density in Havana, Havana Vieja is quite possibly the most beautiful area of the city and a must-see if you’re visiting. Many buildings have fallen into ruin, but many starting to get restored.

The area is a colorful labyrinth of narrow streets, lively local neighborhoods, courtyards, forts, monuments, and churches that make up the pulsating heart of Havana. While you should definitely enjoy yourself strolling around the old city, just beware of jineteros, local hustlers trying to make a buck off you.

Tropicana Nightclub Show

Havana’s Most Famous Nightlife

Known as one of the hottest cabaret shows in the world, the Tropicana Nightclub Show is a world-famous spectacle set in a lush, tropical open-air venue that bursts with colorful lights, glitter, and glam. Salsa-charged and sensual, it’s a must-do activity during any trip to Havana Cuba.

Performers’ gaudy, feathered costumes are spectacles in and of themselves, but it’s the show as a whole that leaves you floored. Tickets are a bit pricey -— roughly $85 USD per person -— but include a welcome drink and cigar. We had a great night there!

Tour Havana By Classic Car

Tour Havana by Classic Car

When you think of things to do in Havana, chances are rolling down the street in a colorful, vintage convertible with the top down is a top contender. There are plenty of options for vintage car tours in Havana, and most operate like a regular taxi.

For pre-planned tours, there is usually a flat-fee (about 40 – 50 CUC per hour) that the driver communicates up front. But if you’re feeling spontaneous, you can easily hail a vintage car to go anywhere in the city. Make sure to stop in some photogenic locations to get those Instagram photos!

Stroll Along “El Malecon” Boardwalk

Stroll Along the Seaside on El Malecon

If you want an intimate glimpse at life in Havana, walk El Malecon. Translated as “the pier”, El Malecon is a restored seafront walkway situated along the city’s north coastline and provides lovely views of Havana’s iconic architecture.

It’s also the unofficial symbol of the city, and often can be seen on postcards and in films. El Malecon is a destination in and of itself, so food and music is abundant all along the pier.

And if you visit during late July or early August, El Malecon comes alive with one of the biggest festivals in Cuba —- the Havana Carnival.

Enjoy Cuban Cigars At Hotel Nacional

Cigars & Rum at Havana’s Famous Hotel Nacional

Cuba has elevated cigar smoking to an art form. For that reason, you can pretty much find a good cigar anywhere in Havana—but if you’re looking for the best spot to light up and take in the classy, glamorous, atmosphere that this city evokes, look no further than Hotel Nacional.

Hotel Nacional is not only the most famous hotel in Havana -— it’s also home to one of the city’s best cigar shops called La Casa del Habano. Or you can enjoy your cigar in the hotel’s backyard and bar, relaxing amidst ocean views, palm trees, and even peacocks strolling by!

Visit Hemingway’s Watering Holes

Have a Drink at El Floridita Bar

Ernest Hemingway lived outside Havana for twenty years, and naturally got much of the inspiration for his novels from the city—more specifically, from its bars. El Floridita, Dos Hermanos and La Bodeguita del Medio were Hemingway’s favorite bars when he lived there, and today they can be visited just like any other bar.

Watch out though, as a few of them have turned into tourist traps. La Bodeguita was my favorite Hemingway-approved watering hole and still retains much of the subdued, authentic atmosphere you’d expect Hemingway probably loved. They have live salsa music, and also make a mean mojito, which never hurts.

Try A Cuban Pizza!

Typical Cuban Pizza in Havana

Sure, everyone knows they should eat a Cuban sandwich while in Cuba. But did you know these famous sandwiches were actually created in Florida? Instead, why not order a classic Cuban pizza while visiting Havana!

What makes Cuban pizza special is the “sofrito” — essentially a holy mix of onion, garlic, and bell pepper sautéed in olive oil with tomato and spices. In Havana, crappy pizza is everywhere, and the good stuff is a bit trickier to find.

For starters, I recommend heading to 5 Esquinas Trattoria on Cuarteles Avenue. Their pizza is baked in a wood oven, and the spot is a prime location for people-watching. Another tasty spot is Bella Ciao, which has a reputation for the freshest pizza (and pasta!) in Havana.

Hit The Beaches Nearby

Packed Weekend at Playa Santa Maria

Cuba’s proximity to the equator means that it’s always beach season in Havana. The island’s entire coastline is pretty much a white sand, turquoise-watered dream, so it’s hard to go wrong with picking a beach.

If you’re looking for a party atmosphere, head to Santa María del Mar, the biggest and most well-known beach in Havana. The downside to this one, though, is the crowds. But if you’re visiting in the autumn or winter you should be ok.

If you’re looking for a quieter beach day that isn’t as popular with tourists, try Playa Boca Ciega.

How About Some Rum In A Box?

Horrible Cheap Rum in a Box…

Wander the streets of Havana for a night on the town, and you’ll soon learn all about “rum in a box”. Known as the juice box for big kids, this rotgut rum is sold in individual packs. You’ll see locals partying with their box of Tumbao or Planchao.

It’s cheap as hell, pretty disgusting, and will leave you with a painful headache the next morning if you drink too much of it. But if you want to make some new friends, rip a fresh box open with your teeth and pass it around!

Visit The Capitol Building

Havana’s Capitol Building

El Capitolio, or Cuba’s Capitol Building, was built in 1929 and based off of the US Capitol in Washington DC. It has been closed to the public for the last 8 years for a big restoration project — but just recently re-opened.

Previously used as the Ministry of Science & Technology, the newly renovated structure is now the seat of Cuba’s national assembly, where they selected a new president last April. Visitors can tour the Capitol in groups of 15 from Tuesday to Sunday each week.

Dance To Some Cuban Music

Live Cuban Salsa Music

Salsa is everywhere in Havana—in bars, restaurants, even impromptu dances along sidewalks are a regular occurrence. We hit the bars & clubs a few different times to check out live music, one of my favorites was a bar called Kilometro Zero.

But if you want to take your salsa admiration one step further, sign up for a lesson. Casa del Son is Havana’s biggest and best dance school, offering locals and visitors classes in just about every type of traditional Cuban dance.

Watch Cannons Blast Off!

Fort San Carlos Cannon Ceremony

Ever since the 18th-century, a cannon has been fired in Havana every evening at 9pm at the Fortaleza San Carlos de la Cabaña (Fort of St Charles). Back then, Havana was divided in two and Cuba’s Spanish rulers would fire the cannon to inform the Habaneros to take shelter against pirate attacks.

Today, the nightly event is still quite a spectacle, equipped with a drum roll and artillery cadets lining the fort dressed in colonial uniforms. The event is free, always on time, and onlookers are encouraged! This is one of the lesser-known things to do in Havana.

Stay Hydrated With Guarapo

Cuban Sugar Cane Juice

What is guarapo, you ask? It’s raw sugar cane juice that’s been extracted from palm-tree sap, and also the most delicious drink you can find in Cuba. The cheapest, too. It’s usually mixed with lime and ice and can be found pretty much in every bar, restaurant, or street side bodega.

You can also try it as an alcoholic beverage (usually mixed with rum). Guarapo is on of the best drinks to try in Havana, and a consistently fantastic spot to get your cane-juice drink on is Arsenal Street, right in front of the train station.

Viñales Tobacco Fields Road Trip

Visit the Tobacco Farms of Vinales

After a few days in Havana, no one would blame you for wanting to escape the city for a day to find something else to do, and the town of Viñales should fix you right up. It’s a small village tucked away in the middle of green fields, tobacco plantations and rock formations.

About a 2-3 hour drive from Havana, Viñales makes for a great day trip, although I do recommend spending at least one night there to get the full sense of the town.

There are buses leaving daily from Havana to Viñales, or you can rent a classic car like we did. Viñales is known for its tobacco farms and limestone hills. Horseback riding is a popular way to enjoy the lush scenery and country atmosphere.

Visit Cámera Obscura

View from the Gómez Vila Building

You can get a brilliant 360-degree panoramic view of Old Havana from the top floor of the Gómez Vila building in Plaza Vieja, the tallest building in Old Havana. It’s got the only “Camera Oscura” in all of Latin America and the Caribbean.

The camera projects real-time images of the city at 30X magnification through just a peephole onto a dark screen. Havana’s Cámera Obscura costs only 2 CUC to visit, and even the view from the roof is totally worth it.

Trip Out In Fusterlandia

Fusterlandia Art Installation

Cuba’s rich artistic tradition is alive and well in part thanks to artist Jose Fuster, who has built a mosaic tile wonderland called Fusterlandia in the fishing village of Jaimanitas, just 20 minutes outside of Havana.

Fusterlandia is unique in that it isn’t its own site-specific artwork, but rather crafted into the neighborhood. Residents have actually allowed Fuster to decorate their homes and turn them into colorful, eye-popping gems.

There is a gallery you can visit between 9:30am and 4:00pm, Wednesday to Sunday. If you don’t make it to the gallery, you can always just drive through the neighborhood to get a feel of things.

Eat At A Local Paladar

Where to Eat in Havana

If you only stick to government-run restaurants frequented by tourists, you’ll miss out on Cuba’s true flavor. So make sure to stop into a paladar (locally-run restaurant) for an authentic Cuban food experience.

Good Cuban food is a delicious fusion of African and Spanish food, and very much resembles a lot of the food you can find throughout the Caribbean — rich, dense, and heavy on the spices.

One great paladar I recommend is called San Cristóbal, located in the bottom floor of an early 20th-century mansion. Make sure you try the traditional ropa vieja. Shredded, stewed beef with vegetables!

Explore Havana’s Green Forest

Explore Havana’s Forest

El Bosque De La Habana (the Lungs of Havana) is a swamp-like forest home to the Almendares River and is a popular spot for locals to get away from the city center and breathe some fresh air. It’s a recreational area for Habaneros with playgrounds and an amphitheater for concerts.

Many of Havana’s classic car tours pass through the park. The 300-year-old banyan trees are covered in green vines, and it’s a very cool place to visit. You might see locals practicing Santeria in the river, a Caribbean religion where members sacrifice animals.

Plaza De La Revolución

Giant Che Guevara Mural at Revolution Square

The largest public square in Cuba, and one of the largest in the world, Plaza de la Revolucion is where Cuba’s most important government offices are located. The Ministerio del Interior boasts a massive mural of Cuba’s revolutionary hero Che Guevara.

The square is a bit out of the way from the heart of the capital, so most tourists get there via one of the classic car taxis that you can rent from Old Havana. Driving by this famous mural was one of my favorite things to do in the city.

Pop By Hemingway’s Old House

Earnest Hemingway’s House in Havana

Just outside of Havana you’ll find Finca Vigía, the former colonial home of Earnest Hemingway. It’s where he wrote some of his most famous novels like: For Whom the Bell Tolls and The Old Man and the Sea. You can’t go inside the house itself, but you can look through the windows.

There’s a museum there open from 10am to 4pm Monday through Saturday and 9am to 1pm on Sundays. It’s a bit of a haul to get out there from Havana, so only do this if you have some extra time. Visit early in the morning to avoid the bus tour crowds.

Hotel Kempinski Rooftop Pool

This beautiful panoramic pool terrace and bar at Havana’s Gran Hotel Manzana Kempinski has awesome views of the Havana Vieja area, including the recently refurbished Capitol Building.

This new infinity rooftop pool (and the luxury hotel) is an example of things to come as Cuba prepares for increased tourism. Unfortunately, Americans aren’t technically allowed to book this hotel, as it’s owned by the Cuban government.

Fabrica De Arte Cubano

The Cuban Art Factory

The Cuban Art Factory was founded by famous Afro-Cuban musician X-Alfonso, and is one of Havana’s hippest spots to soak in modern Cuban culture. It’s a mix between a nightclub, gallery, and performance center that promotes local Cuban artists, writers, photographers, and filmmakers.

Open from Thursday to Sunday, this giant factory building is often packed by 11pm, and is the perfect place to start your wild night on the town in Havana. Each room is different — some with live bands, others full of art. You’ll have a wonderful experience no matter what you’re in to.

The Revolution Museum

Plane from Cuban Revolution

Formerly the Presidential Palace, Havana’s Revolution Museum depicts the time period before, during, and right after the Cuban Revolution. You can still find bullet holes in the central staircase from a failed assassination attempt of President Fulgencio Batista.

Out back you’ll find some old military vehicles, tanks used during the Bay of Pigs operation, airplanes, and the yacht used to ferry Castro from Mexico to Cuba to start the revolution in the first place.

Climb La Guarida’s Staircase

Old-School Romantic Staircase

Probably’s Havana’s most famous Paladar, La Guarida Restaurant sits at the top floor of an old dilapidated-looking building, complete with a beautiful grand staircase. Traveling celebrities often stop in to eat here.

It’s usually difficult to book a table, and the meal prices aren’t cheap either. But you’re really paying for the interesting atmosphere & history. It kinda feels like you’re staring into your own international spy movie from the 50’s! Pretty cool.

Getting To (and Around) Havana

Despite the recent easing of Cuba’s travel laws, some restrictions are still in place for Americans. Technically you can only visit if you fall into one of 12 special categories.

However there are some ways around the rules, and it’s totally possible to visit as a tourist if you follow a few completely legal “loopholes”.

➜ How To Legally Visit Cuba As An American

Airlines that serve Cuba directly from the US now include: Alaska Airlines, American Airlines, Delta Airlines, Jet Blue, Southwest Airlines, Spirit Airlines, and United Airlines.

Once you’re on the ground, local taxis are everywhere. There are the classic car versions, which are kinda expensive (negotiate first), or the local shared taxis, which only cost 0.50 CUC per person (but you need to know their set route or speak Spanish).

Best Time To Visit Havana

Havana is sunny year-round, so you really can’t go wrong in terms of choosing a time of year to visit. But be wary of the force of the Cuban sun. For those who are prone to heat exhaustion or have lighter skin, take extra precaution.

The autumn can be lovely but visiting then is risky because of hurricane season. I find that a happy medium is to visit sometime in the winter (November-March), as it’s both warm enough to enjoy the beaches but not hot enough to make you wish you were holed up in your air-conditioned hotel.

During the winter, the crowds have lessened and you can experience a more authentic Havana. Plus, New Year’s Eve in the city is an unforgettable spectacle.

Where To Stay In Havana

The most authentic places to stay in Havana are called Casa Particulares, which are guest rooms in Cuban family homes that you can find by simply asking around.

Typically, these rooms run from 10 to 30 CUC per night, but be sure to add a bit to that cost if you want homemade breakfast included.

Hotel Saratoga, Hotel Nacional de Cuba, and Hotel Florida

Travel Tips for Havana Cuba

Useful Travel Tips For Havana

If you want to save some money, and don’t have to go too far, trying hiring a bicycle taxi or a “coco taxi” scooter for a fun ride.

Don’t spend all your time in Havana! There is so much more to Cuba than the capital city. Check out Vinales, Trinidad, and Varadero if you have the time.

Bring a filtered water bottle, as bottled water can sometimes be difficult to find outside of major cities.

Even if you normally prefer hotels, I recommend spending at least one night in a casas particular with locals to see what it’s like.

Learn some basic Spanish words! While some English is common in Havana, attempting to speak Spanish will give you more opportunities to interact with people.

USEFUL TRAVEL RESOURCES FOR CUBA

Havana Map – Plan your trip around Cuba with this handy map Planning Advice – Get help planning a legal trip to Cuba Book A Flight: Learn how I find the cheapest airline flights Find A Hotel: My tips for booking affordable accommodation Protect Your Stuff: WorldNomads.com can insure your trip & gear Recommended Guidebook: Lonely Planet Cuba Suggested Reading: The Other Side Of Paradise

READ MORE FROM CUBA

How To Travel To Cuba For Americans Horseback Riding & Tobacco Farms In Vinales Discovering The Magic Of Trinidad Cuba Cuba Travel Guide: Travel Tips & Costs

Have any travel questions about things to do in Havana? Other suggestions or tips? Drop me a message in the comments below!

This is a post from The Expert Vagabond adventure blog.

from Tips For Traveling https://expertvagabond.com/havana-cuba/

[janetchavezcom]

Best Of Havana: What To Do In Cuba’s Capital City

Best Things to do in Havana, Cuba

Havana, Cuba

The vibrant capital city of Havana, Cuba has long been inaccessible to American travelers, but thankfully this is no longer the case. Here are some of my favorite things to do in the City of Columns!

In recent years, Cuba has seen major changes and opened its doors to visitors. More and more American’s are now visiting Cuba than ever before, and tourism has been on the rise — for good reason!

Only an hour away from Miami by plane, Havana is a majestic blend of old and new, vintage cars and colorful, often crumbling infrastructure; its energy pulses with a vibrant mix of Spanish colonial architecture, booming nightlife and kitschy art galleries.

For a small city, Havana seems to have an endless list of things to do catering to every kind of traveler. Maybe you’re a cigar aficionado or simply looking for some R&R, Havana has something to offer everyone.

Best Things To Do In Havana

After spending some time in the capital city during my road trip around Cuba, I wanted to put together a comprehensive travel guide to Havana that would help you plan your own journey.

This is part of what makes Havana unique and what captivated me in particular — the sense that there is always something more to uncover around every corner.

Whether it’s a sultry salsa performance or hidden bar tucked away behind the narrow streets of a colorful neighborhood — you’ll never get bored of things to do!

Visit El Morro Castle

Cuba’s Pirate Protection

El Morro Castle, otherwise known as “Castillo del Morro”, is a great starting point once you arrive in Havana. It’s situated on top of a rocky promontory at the entrance of Havana’s bay—it can’t be missed! It’s a massive fort with an equally impressive history.

The castle was built starting in 1590 to protect Havana against military attacks, and also served as a watch post to keep an eye out for enemies (like pirates!). It is composed of 3 bastions linked by curtain walls, casemented barracks and also houses cisterns, a chapel, officer’s quarters, a wine cellar, stables, and dungeons.

Today, Morro Castle is used as a museum and can be visited for a small fee. Its fantastic views make it a great first stop, a short taxi ride from the city center.

Explore Old Havana On Foot

Local Neighborhoods in Havana Vieja

As both the city center and the municipality with the second highest population density in Havana, Havana Vieja is quite possibly the most beautiful area of the city and a must-see if you’re visiting. Many buildings have fallen into ruin, but many starting to get restored.

The area is a colorful labyrinth of narrow streets, lively local neighborhoods, courtyards, forts, monuments, and churches that make up the pulsating heart of Havana. While you should definitely enjoy yourself strolling around the old city, just beware of jineteros, local hustlers trying to make a buck off you.

Tropicana Nightclub Show

Havana’s Most Famous Nightlife

Known as one of the hottest cabaret shows in the world, the Tropicana Nightclub Show is a world-famous spectacle set in a lush, tropical open-air venue that bursts with colorful lights, glitter, and glam. Salsa-charged and sensual, it’s a must-do activity during any trip to Havana Cuba.

Performers’ gaudy, feathered costumes are spectacles in and of themselves, but it’s the show as a whole that leaves you floored. Tickets are a bit pricey -— roughly $85 USD per person -— but include a welcome drink and cigar. We had a great night there!

Tour Havana By Classic Car

Tour Havana by Classic Car

When you think of things to do in Havana, chances are rolling down the street in a colorful, vintage convertible with the top down is a top contender. There are plenty of options for vintage car tours in Havana, and most operate like a regular taxi.

For pre-planned tours, there is usually a flat-fee (about 40 – 50 CUC per hour) that the driver communicates up front. But if you’re feeling spontaneous, you can easily hail a vintage car to go anywhere in the city. Make sure to stop in some photogenic locations to get those Instagram photos!

Stroll Along “El Malecon” Boardwalk

Stroll Along the Seaside on El Malecon

If you want an intimate glimpse at life in Havana, walk El Malecon. Translated as “the pier”, El Malecon is a restored seafront walkway situated along the city’s north coastline and provides lovely views of Havana’s iconic architecture.

It’s also the unofficial symbol of the city, and often can be seen on postcards and in films. El Malecon is a destination in and of itself, so food and music is abundant all along the pier.

And if you visit during late July or early August, El Malecon comes alive with one of the biggest festivals in Cuba —- the Havana Carnival.

Enjoy Cuban Cigars At Hotel Nacional

Cigars & Rum at Havana’s Famous Hotel Nacional

Cuba has elevated cigar smoking to an art form. For that reason, you can pretty much find a good cigar anywhere in Havana—but if you’re looking for the best spot to light up and take in the classy, glamorous, atmosphere that this city evokes, look no further than Hotel Nacional.

Hotel Nacional is not only the most famous hotel in Havana -— it’s also home to one of the city’s best cigar shops called La Casa del Habano. Or you can enjoy your cigar in the hotel’s backyard and bar, relaxing amidst ocean views, palm trees, and even peacocks strolling by!

Visit Hemingway’s Watering Holes

Have a Drink at El Floridita Bar

Ernest Hemingway lived outside Havana for twenty years, and naturally got much of the inspiration for his novels from the city—more specifically, from its bars. El Floridita, Dos Hermanos and La Bodeguita del Medio were Hemingway’s favorite bars when he lived there, and today they can be visited just like any other bar.

Watch out though, as a few of them have turned into tourist traps. La Bodeguita was my favorite Hemingway-approved watering hole and still retains much of the subdued, authentic atmosphere you’d expect Hemingway probably loved. They have live salsa music, and also make a mean mojito, which never hurts.

Try A Cuban Pizza!

Typical Cuban Pizza in Havana

Sure, everyone knows they should eat a Cuban sandwich while in Cuba. But did you know these famous sandwiches were actually created in Florida? Instead, why not order a classic Cuban pizza while visiting Havana!

What makes Cuban pizza special is the “sofrito” — essentially a holy mix of onion, garlic, and bell pepper sautéed in olive oil with tomato and spices. In Havana, crappy pizza is everywhere, and the good stuff is a bit trickier to find.

For starters, I recommend heading to 5 Esquinas Trattoria on Cuarteles Avenue. Their pizza is baked in a wood oven, and the spot is a prime location for people-watching. Another tasty spot is Bella Ciao, which has a reputation for the freshest pizza (and pasta!) in Havana.

Hit The Beaches Nearby

Packed Weekend at Playa Santa Maria

Cuba’s proximity to the equator means that it’s always beach season in Havana. The island’s entire coastline is pretty much a white sand, turquoise-watered dream, so it’s hard to go wrong with picking a beach.

If you’re looking for a party atmosphere, head to Santa María del Mar, the biggest and most well-known beach in Havana. The downside to this one, though, is the crowds. But if you’re visiting in the autumn or winter you should be ok.

If you’re looking for a quieter beach day that isn’t as popular with tourists, try Playa Boca Ciega.

How About Some Rum In A Box?

Horrible Cheap Rum in a Box…

Wander the streets of Havana for a night on the town, and you’ll soon learn all about “rum in a box”. Known as the juice box for big kids, this rotgut rum is sold in individual packs. You’ll see locals partying with their box of Tumbao or Planchao.

It’s cheap as hell, pretty disgusting, and will leave you with a painful headache the next morning if you drink too much of it. But if you want to make some new friends, rip a fresh box open with your teeth and pass it around!

Visit The Capitol Building

Havana’s Capitol Building

El Capitolio, or Cuba’s Capitol Building, was built in 1929 and based off of the US Capitol in Washington DC. It has been closed to the public for the last 8 years for a big restoration project — but just recently re-opened.

Previously used as the Ministry of Science & Technology, the newly renovated structure is now the seat of Cuba’s national assembly, where they selected a new president last April. Visitors can tour the Capitol in groups of 15 from Tuesday to Sunday each week.

Dance To Some Cuban Music

Live Cuban Salsa Music

Salsa is everywhere in Havana—in bars, restaurants, even impromptu dances along sidewalks are a regular occurrence. We hit the bars & clubs a few different times to check out live music, one of my favorites was a bar called Kilometro Zero.

But if you want to take your salsa admiration one step further, sign up for a lesson. Casa del Son is Havana’s biggest and best dance school, offering locals and visitors classes in just about every type of traditional Cuban dance.

Watch Cannons Blast Off!

Fort San Carlos Cannon Ceremony

Ever since the 18th-century, a cannon has been fired in Havana every evening at 9pm at the Fortaleza San Carlos de la Cabaña (Fort of St Charles). Back then, Havana was divided in two and Cuba’s Spanish rulers would fire the cannon to inform the Habaneros to take shelter against pirate attacks.

Today, the nightly event is still quite a spectacle, equipped with a drum roll and artillery cadets lining the fort dressed in colonial uniforms. The event is free, always on time, and onlookers are encouraged! This is one of the lesser-known things to do in Havana.

Stay Hydrated With Guarapo

Cuban Sugar Cane Juice

What is guarapo, you ask? It’s raw sugar cane juice that’s been extracted from palm-tree sap, and also the most delicious drink you can find in Cuba. The cheapest, too. It’s usually mixed with lime and ice and can be found pretty much in every bar, restaurant, or street side bodega.

You can also try it as an alcoholic beverage (usually mixed with rum). Guarapo is on of the best drinks to try in Havana, and a consistently fantastic spot to get your cane-juice drink on is Arsenal Street, right in front of the train station.

Viñales Tobacco Fields Road Trip

Visit the Tobacco Farms of Vinales

After a few days in Havana, no one would blame you for wanting to escape the city for a day to find something else to do, and the town of Viñales should fix you right up. It’s a small village tucked away in the middle of green fields, tobacco plantations and rock formations.

About a 2-3 hour drive from Havana, Viñales makes for a great day trip, although I do recommend spending at least one night there to get the full sense of the town.

There are buses leaving daily from Havana to Viñales, or you can rent a classic car like we did. Viñales is known for its tobacco farms and limestone hills. Horseback riding is a popular way to enjoy the lush scenery and country atmosphere.

Visit Cámera Obscura

View from the Gómez Vila Building

You can get a brilliant 360-degree panoramic view of Old Havana from the top floor of the Gómez Vila building in Plaza Vieja, the tallest building in Old Havana. It’s got the only “Camera Oscura” in all of Latin America and the Caribbean.

The camera projects real-time images of the city at 30X magnification through just a peephole onto a dark screen. Havana’s Cámera Obscura costs only 2 CUC to visit, and even the view from the roof is totally worth it.

Trip Out In Fusterlandia

Fusterlandia Art Installation

Cuba’s rich artistic tradition is alive and well in part thanks to artist Jose Fuster, who has built a mosaic tile wonderland called Fusterlandia in the fishing village of Jaimanitas, just 20 minutes outside of Havana.

Fusterlandia is unique in that it isn’t its own site-specific artwork, but rather crafted into the neighborhood. Residents have actually allowed Fuster to decorate their homes and turn them into colorful, eye-popping gems.

There is a gallery you can visit between 9:30am and 4:00pm, Wednesday to Sunday. If you don’t make it to the gallery, you can always just drive through the neighborhood to get a feel of things.

Eat At A Local Paladar

Where to Eat in Havana

If you only stick to government-run restaurants frequented by tourists, you’ll miss out on Cuba’s true flavor. So make sure to stop into a paladar (locally-run restaurant) for an authentic Cuban food experience.

Good Cuban food is a delicious fusion of African and Spanish food, and very much resembles a lot of the food you can find throughout the Caribbean — rich, dense, and heavy on the spices.

One great paladar I recommend is called San Cristóbal, located in the bottom floor of an early 20th-century mansion. Make sure you try the traditional ropa vieja. Shredded, stewed beef with vegetables!

Explore Havana’s Green Forest

Explore Havana’s Forest

El Bosque De La Habana (the Lungs of Havana) is a swamp-like forest home to the Almendares River and is a popular spot for locals to get away from the city center and breathe some fresh air. It’s a recreational area for Habaneros with playgrounds and an amphitheater for concerts.

Many of Havana’s classic car tours pass through the park. The 300-year-old banyan trees are covered in green vines, and it’s a very cool place to visit. You might see locals practicing Santeria in the river, a Caribbean religion where members sacrifice animals.

Plaza De La Revolución

Giant Che Guevara Mural at Revolution Square

The largest public square in Cuba, and one of the largest in the world, Plaza de la Revolucion is where Cuba’s most important government offices are located. The Ministerio del Interior boasts a massive mural of Cuba’s revolutionary hero Che Guevara.

The square is a bit out of the way from the heart of the capital, so most tourists get there via one of the classic car taxis that you can rent from Old Havana. Driving by this famous mural was one of my favorite things to do in the city.

Pop By Hemingway’s Old House

Earnest Hemingway’s House in Havana

Just outside of Havana you’ll find Finca Vigía, the former colonial home of Earnest Hemingway. It’s where he wrote some of his most famous novels like: For Whom the Bell Tolls and The Old Man and the Sea. You can’t go inside the house itself, but you can look through the windows.

There’s a museum there open from 10am to 4pm Monday through Saturday and 9am to 1pm on Sundays. It’s a bit of a haul to get out there from Havana, so only do this if you have some extra time. Visit early in the morning to avoid the bus tour crowds.

Hotel Kempinski Rooftop Pool

This beautiful panoramic pool terrace and bar at Havana’s Gran Hotel Manzana Kempinski has awesome views of the Havana Vieja area, including the recently refurbished Capitol Building.

This new infinity rooftop pool (and the luxury hotel) is an example of things to come as Cuba prepares for increased tourism. Unfortunately, Americans aren’t technically allowed to book this hotel, as it’s owned by the Cuban government.

Fabrica De Arte Cubano

The Cuban Art Factory

The Cuban Art Factory was founded by famous Afro-Cuban musician X-Alfonso, and is one of Havana’s hippest spots to soak in modern Cuban culture. It’s a mix between a nightclub, gallery, and performance center that promotes local Cuban artists, writers, photographers, and filmmakers.

Open from Thursday to Sunday, this giant factory building is often packed by 11pm, and is the perfect place to start your wild night on the town in Havana. Each room is different — some with live bands, others full of art. You’ll have a wonderful experience no matter what you’re in to.

The Revolution Museum

Plane from Cuban Revolution

Formerly the Presidential Palace, Havana’s Revolution Museum depicts the time period before, during, and right after the Cuban Revolution. You can still find bullet holes in the central staircase from a failed assassination attempt of President Fulgencio Batista.

Out back you’ll find some old military vehicles, tanks used during the Bay of Pigs operation, airplanes, and the yacht used to ferry Castro from Mexico to Cuba to start the revolution in the first place.

Climb La Guarida’s Staircase

Old-School Romantic Staircase

Probably’s Havana’s most famous Paladar, La Guarida Restaurant sits at the top floor of an old dilapidated-looking building, complete with a beautiful grand staircase. Traveling celebrities often stop in to eat here.

It’s usually difficult to book a table, and the meal prices aren’t cheap either. But you’re really paying for the interesting atmosphere & history. It kinda feels like you’re staring into your own international spy movie from the 50’s! Pretty cool.

Getting To (and Around) Havana

Despite the recent easing of Cuba’s travel laws, some restrictions are still in place for Americans. Technically you can only visit if you fall into one of 12 special categories.

However there are some ways around the rules, and it’s totally possible to visit as a tourist if you follow a few completely legal “loopholes”.

➜ How To Legally Visit Cuba As An American

Airlines that serve Cuba directly from the US now include: Alaska Airlines, American Airlines, Delta Airlines, Jet Blue, Southwest Airlines, Spirit Airlines, and United Airlines.

Once you’re on the ground, local taxis are everywhere. There are the classic car versions, which are kinda expensive (negotiate first), or the local shared taxis, which only cost 0.50 CUC per person (but you need to know their set route or speak Spanish).

Best Time To Visit Havana

Havana is sunny year-round, so you really can’t go wrong in terms of choosing a time of year to visit. But be wary of the force of the Cuban sun. For those who are prone to heat exhaustion or have lighter skin, take extra precaution.

The autumn can be lovely but visiting then is risky because of hurricane season. I find that a happy medium is to visit sometime in the winter (November-March), as it’s both warm enough to enjoy the beaches but not hot enough to make you wish you were holed up in your air-conditioned hotel.

During the winter, the crowds have lessened and you can experience a more authentic Havana. Plus, New Year’s Eve in the city is an unforgettable spectacle.

Where To Stay In Havana

The most authentic places to stay in Havana are called Casa Particulares, which are guest rooms in Cuban family homes that you can find by simply asking around.

Typically, these rooms run from 10 to 30 CUC per night, but be sure to add a bit to that cost if you want homemade breakfast included.

Hotel Saratoga, Hotel Nacional de Cuba, and Hotel Florida

Travel Tips for Havana Cuba

Useful Travel Tips For Havana

If you want to save some money, and don’t have to go too far, trying hiring a bicycle taxi or a “coco taxi” scooter for a fun ride.

Don’t spend all your time in Havana! There is so much more to Cuba than the capital city. Check out Vinales, Trinidad, and Varadero if you have the time.

Bring a filtered water bottle, as bottled water can sometimes be difficult to find outside of major cities.

Even if you normally prefer hotels, I recommend spending at least one night in a casas particular with locals to see what it’s like.

Learn some basic Spanish words! While some English is common in Havana, attempting to speak Spanish will give you more opportunities to interact with people.

USEFUL TRAVEL RESOURCES FOR CUBA

Havana Map – Plan your trip around Cuba with this handy map Planning Advice – Get help planning a legal trip to Cuba Book A Flight: Learn how I find the cheapest airline flights Find A Hotel: My tips for booking affordable accommodation Protect Your Stuff: WorldNomads.com can insure your trip & gear Recommended Guidebook: Lonely Planet Cuba Suggested Reading: The Other Side Of Paradise

READ MORE FROM CUBA

How To Travel To Cuba For Americans Horseback Riding & Tobacco Farms In Vinales Discovering The Magic Of Trinidad Cuba Cuba Travel Guide: Travel Tips & Costs

Have any travel questions about things to do in Havana? Other suggestions or tips? Drop me a message in the comments below!

This is a post from The Expert Vagabond adventure blog.

from Tips For Traveling https://expertvagabond.com/havana-cuba/

[andrea-cristina-travel-blog]

The best places to eat and drink in Manchester’s Northern Quarter

The look on Mim’s face said it all; “That is one of the best things I’ve ever tasted”, she said gleefully, pushing the gloriously large yet somewhat daunting mac and cheese toasty across the table for Mark to taste. Were we in Manchester, or had we magically teleported back to our hometown of Melbourne for some top quality grub? Being from Melbourne, we’re kinda food snobs. When you’ve got access to so many incredible restaurants, it’s hard not to be. But our home right now, London, doesn’t quite cut it. It’s not that the food in London is bad; it’s just not that good. So you can imagine our surprise when we visited Manchester recently and discovered it’s food scene is on par with Melbourne’s, and the city’s famed northern quarter the epicentre for incredibly simple, tasty, and potentially artery blocking, food. Full of American style diners, Indian street food, Japanese infused eateries, and your standard brunch hotspots, the food in Manchester’s Northern Quarter might just be England’s best.   Here is our lowdown on the best places to eat (and drink) in Manchester’s Northern Quarter. WHERE TO EAT IN MANCHESTER’S NORTHERN QUARTER DISTRICT  INDIAN STREET FOOD AT BUNDOBUST, MANCHESTER Indian street food and craft beers. That’s Bundobust’s jam, and it’s kinda our jam too. Walking into the nondescript dungeon off Piccadilly, our first impression of Bundobust is positive – large, communal tables, bollywood posters, and a large beer menu of mostly foreign craft beers. Above the kitchen is the phrase ‘too much spicy’, which unsettles us a little. To our delight, the food menu contains all our faves – onion bhaji (onion, cauliflower, spinich bhaji), massala dhosa (rice crepe filled with potato and onion dry fry, served with lentils), chole batura (chickpeas cooking in tomoto and onion sauce), and paneer and mushroom tikka. Our interest is piqued by the vada pav, Mumbai’s favourite burger. We order it all, and sample each tasty dish, falling into an everlong foodgasm. The food here is exceptional, and were happy to state, some of the best Indian we’ve ever had. It’s also not that spicy. You simply MUST order the vada pav, which oozes flavour and subtle spice. The chole batura is another must eat. It’d be remiss for us to exclude the beer, and we suggest you start with an IPA – whatever they have (Bundobust change their beer menu regularly). Costs | Single dishes are around £6, a selection for two is £25, a selection of everything is £66 Where | Bundobust, 61 Piccadilly, Manchester M1 2AG   AMAZING CHEESE TOASTIES AT NORTHERN SOUL GRILLED CHEESE  We’re massive fans of cheese, and even bigger fans of cheese toasties, and nowhere have we enjoyed the delicious combination of bread and cheese more so than Northern Soul Grilled Cheese. Located on church st market, the selection of toasties certainly isn’t limited. All toasties are based on sourdough and their secret three cheese blend, with variations including Pestorella (includes fresh tomato, basil pesto), Mac Attack (includes, you guessed it, Mac and Cheese), and for meat lovers, the Cuban Pete (pork, roast ham, swiss cheese, mustard and pickle). We were taken aback by their size, and presentation; each toastie oozed cheese, and was accompanied by a gurken, a clear sign of a good toastie. Our faves were the Pestorella, which is a pure taste sensation, and the Mac Attack, which Mim proclaimed to be the best thing she’d ever eaten.   Northern Soul Grilled Cheese also sell a huge array of other comfort food, including Mac and Cheese, Nachos, and Milkshakes. Costs | £4.50 – £6.50 Where | Northern Soul Grilled Cheese, 10 Church St, Manchester M4 1PN READ OUR POST ON SEVEN AMAZING EUROPEAN DESTINATIONS TO VISIT THIS SUMMER  FREAK SHAKES AND CEREAL AT BLACK MILK, OLDHAM STREET We’d heard about freak shakes – the high-calorie, mega-milkshake that combines ice cream, chocolate bars and even an entire slice of cake, but we’d never actually HAD one. That all changed in Manchester, and life got a little bit better (or worse, depending on which way you look at it!) after we visited Black Milk in Odlham Street. Originally a cereal cafe, Black Milk has recently expanded to their Oldham St cafe, which now serves delightfully obnoxious freakhakes. Clearly, we couldn’t try them all, so settled for the Triple Oreo Cheesecake. As the name suggests, it’s full of Oreo glory and completely gluttonous, but totally worth it – especially when you’re burning off calories exploring the city of Manchester. If you’re not keen on the mega shake, try one of the cereal bowls – basically the cereal bowls you wish your mum would serve you when you were young. Our fave was the OH-LAA-LAA, featuring all types of chocolate cereal topped with toblerone, bueno and molten chocolate. It’s topped off with whole milk and cookie dough ice cream. Nom is an understatement. Costs | Freakshakes £7, cereal sundaes £4.90, ice cream sundaes £4.95 Where |Black Milk, 88 Oldham St, Manchester M4 1LF   COMFORT FOOD AT WEST CNR, MANCHESTER Manchester, with its red brick buildings and external fire escapes, often doubles as New York, so it’s no surprise that American diners are definitely a thing in the city. For good reason too – they serve delicious comfort food, perfect for lazy weekend days, or hung over mornings. Neither of those scenario’s existed for us, but we still decided a visit to West CNR. A pleasant environment with booths, bar stools and benches, we felt like we’d transported to New York. The menu is full of the usual; burgers, fries, salads and beer, of which we sampled just about everything (minus anything with meat). The burrata and heritage tomato salad blew our socks off, and we couldn’t go past the battered onion rings. West CNR also does brunch, with the eggs hollandaise their speciality. Costs | Mains, burgers, sandwiches and salads £7.50 – £14.50, sides £3 – £8.50 Where | West CNR, 21 Hilton St, Manchester M1 1JJ READ MORE: WHY MENORCA SHOULD BE YOUR NEXT SUMMER HOLIDAY ESCAPE COCKTAILS AND JAPANESE AT COTTONOPOLIS A former tailor’s studio, now a swanky bar come restaurant serving delicious asian fusion, Cottonopolis is a Friday night dream. They mix up delightful cocktails created by award winning mixologist Jamie Jones, and import Czech beer weekly (Krusovice), meaning their drinks menu is well stocked for a fun night out. We visited on Sunday afternoon, so while the atmosphere was distinctly quiet, the food and beer was great. We had the tofu bao and gyoza, two long term favourites of ours, and were suitably impressed. The Krusovice was the perfect afternoon tipple. Cost | Food ranges from £4 – £20 , beer from £4.50, cocktails from £8 Where | Cottonopolis, 16 Newton St, Manchester, M1 2AE COFFEE DREAMS AT TAKK, MANCHESTER We mentioned we’re from Melbourne, which means good coffee is seriously important (for Mim at least). Takk, on the trendy Tariff St, serves brilliant coffee, and literally saved Mim’s life after a morning blighted by an underlying ‘no coffee yet’ grumpiness. Takk has a weekly changing selection of four single origin coffees brewed by hand, and a beautifully nordic space to hang out in, should you not be like us, and order your coffee to go. Cost | £2.70 for a regular coffee Where | Takk, 6 Tariff St, Manchester M1 2FF VEGETARIAN AND COFFEE DREAMS AT PIG AND SPARROW Fig and Sparrow is one of those cafes that looks as if it’s stepped out of an Instagram feed. Ironically, we met up with one of our favourite instagrammers and writers, Annapurna Mellor, here. Sit in the window and watch Manchester go by, while enjoying delicious coffee (a common thread in Manchester), and predominantly vegetarian food, including a seriously good avocado on toast, with chili and walnuts. They also serve so great vegan treats – our fave was salted caramel slice. Cost | Brunch £3 – £10, Sweets £3, Coffee £2.50 Where | Fig and Sparrow, 20 Oldham St, Manchester M1 1JN We found Manchester to be a seriously cool place to spend time. Keep an eye out for some more of our Manchester related content! Have you enjoyed the delightful food in Manchester’s Northern Quarter? Have we missed anywhere? Let us know in the comments below. Need to book accommodation in Manchester? Here’s £30 off your first AirBnb booking Check out Hotel’s Combined for the best hotel deals FOLLOW OUR ADVENTURES ON FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM | TWITTER | PINTEREST Love this post? Share and Pin it! JOIN OUR TRIBE & WANDER WITH US Join 30,000+ people and receive travel stories, tips + hacks, and stunning photography to inspire your wanderlust. Straight to your inbox We hate spammers. We'll never be those people. We were hosted in Manchester by Visit Manchester as part of the #WorkerBeeWeekender campaign. A big thank you to the team for making our stay memorable. As always, all views are our own. Check out #WorkerBeeWeekender, and #ComeTogetherManchester on Twitter or Instagram. The post The best places to eat and drink in Manchester’s Northern Quarter appeared first on The Common Wanderer.

https://www.thecommonwanderer.com/manchester-northern-quarter-food/