#deliberatsly.
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#anyway.#i cba to . rehash everything rn so this is gonna b out of context (im almost breaching the nda)#i have to fucking zwrve him again i might just spit in his drink actually .#like . im half splitting bx im hurt .ike half of this is fuelled by an episode of some kind#++ likw i am absolutely reacting over Nothing rn .#but . ive had enough lmao im gonna have to talk to osme9ne#and ask abt working at the other place bc this is . imapcting ky ability to work. like 100%#like AHDJEBDIDHSIDJDSIJD. i had a fucking panic attack + got him kicked iut#bc i couldnt FOCUS . i was hyperventilating .#i cant do this anymore. all od this is awful .#im running out of options idk what to do anymore lolololololol#im not going uptosn this . week either .#im gonna use the $50 i was saving on . another lot of 🌿 instead .#i cant do this . i cant fucking be around him anymors. i cant exist in the same orbit as him .#this is fuckign bullshit its Killing Me.#so i rlly gotta fucking Retreat that feels.so Fucking Pathwtic#that . im in such an emotionally confused Nd heightened stats#that i cant even go n be around ppl i like ha ging oit w . bc theres such a high fucking chance hes gonna b there#like. i know what ur doing. ur not that cruel . not unless u had smrh to prove#or . was trying to get a reaxrion from me. congrats u achieved it. but its not the one u aanted !#like i could b reading that wrobg. the alternative is . he rlly hates me that much he Wantes to hurt me#deliberatsly.#theres a differencs jn this but i dont wanna talk abt it.#anywat that is Not Coherent but i know what im referring to .#i wanna fucking Hate Him. like if i could just Hate Him.#thatd Be So Much Easier. but No. its not .#like i rlly had to tell my fucking manager#that my ex was here n i was fucking Panucking so much i needed him kicked iut.#i wasnt even Sure how to fucking . likw . saying it was abusive to her uust so i didnt have to L99k at him was so fucked up#its not . Entirely Wrong. vut . i hate referring to it as an abusice relationship bx it doesnt entirely make sense
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