#dejan x sime

[vrsaljkc]

Šime: I'm ugly.

Dejan: And I’m pregnant.

Šime: What?

Dejan: I thought we're saying things that aren't possible.

[sumska-vjestica]

Sime and Dejo as youtubers (pt. 1)

[pospanost]

Dejan: Can I tie your shoes?

Šime: Why?

Dejan: Because I can't have you fall for anyone else.

[ivan-rakitic]

ivan: i like your top!

šime: thanks, his name is dejan.

[kovacissues]

Hey everyone! I was supposed to upload this on Halloween, but life got in the way so you will get it today! It is short, so I hope many people read it even though it’s not my best work. 

The Kinder Egg (Sejan)

The cab driver must’ve thought he was crazy sitting there dressed as a kinder egg. He would probably have cared more about what people thought about him if it wasn’t for the fact that he did it to surprise his boyfriend. Also, after all it was Halloween.

Dejan’s love for those silly candy eggs was out of this world, but Sime would always support him, no matter how weird he could get. It kinda scared him that dressing up as a kinder egg wasn’t even the weirdest shit he had done for the love of his life. His worst, weirdest, memory was from when Dejan had seen 50 shades of gray and gotten ideas. Sime remembered fearing that he would get flogged or something, but no, Dejan had made his own pleasure room, filled with kinder eggs and pictures of him. He was still not sure which one his lover preferred, but judging on what he was now wearing it was obvious what he believed about that.

When the cab finally arrived at Dejan’s house Sime happily paid and sneaked up to the front door. As he saw a lot of children doing trick or treat in the neighboring houses, he decided that would be a good plan to surprise his boyfriend. He rang the bell and the moment the door opened he screamed “trick or treat”. Dejan’s scream sounded like a scared little girl, making Sime crack up.

“oh.. it’s you” Dejan simply stated as he regained his normal heart rate. Sime however only stopped laughing when Dejan slammed the door in his face in annoyance. Obviosuly, he knew his boyfriend well enough to know that soon that door would open and Dejan would realize what he had dressed up as.

“A fucking Kinder EGG!!! I love you!» he heard being screamed half from inside the house, and half after the Liverpool player had realized what Sime was waiting for him to realize. His hands were now turning Sime around to face him, cupping his face the moment it was in reach. “I dressed as the scariest thing I know” he then confessed making Sime look him up and down trying to see who he was supposed to be.

“Moustache… Aj lajk shirt… curly wig…” He noted, mostly for himself, but he still had no idea who Dejan was supposed to be.

“Sometimes I wonder if your brain even works” Dejan said with a smirk before leaning in to kiss his boyfriend. “You will understand it soon enough…” he added before pulling Sime inside with him.

“Wait…” Sime stopped next to a mirror, looking first at himself, then at Dejan. He stood like that for quite some time before turning around and slapping Dejan’s chest lightly. “I’m NOT scary!” he yelled, faking to be upset at his boyfriend. If he was to be honest with himself he thought it was the cutest thing ever that Dejan had dressed up as him, but he would never admit that.

After a while of silence, not the awkward kind, never the awkward kind, Sime suddenly got a thought that made him burst out laughing like crazy. Dejan looked at him, confused, before eventually joining him without any idea of what they were laughing at.

“We’re dressed as your ‘pleasure room’” Sime blurted out, as he understood Dejan’s confusion. This however made Dejan laugh really hard before he got serious, very very serious.

“The two things I love the most” he whispered just loudly enough for Sime to hear it, making his heart burst with feelings.

The cute moment didn’t get a real chance to live though, because of Sime being Sime. He walked up to Dejan, trying to look seductive. “I think you will really enjoy the surprise inside the egg” he stated, adding a wink to try his best looking like the snack he was.

“I bet I will” Dejan said, biting his lip hard as he walked up to his lover and started ‘Opening’ the egg.

Tagged: @footballcursed @ante-ray-bitch

[sejan-is-my-religion]

Rakitic, on the phone: šime, I ask you, please do not do the thing, the one thing I asked you not to do. please don't do it

Šime,with ivan on the speaker while doing the thing:oh I would never

[simevrsaljko2]

Vrsaljkofan(Ig)

[mariomandzos]

Croatia NT x Hobbies

- domo would like roller blading. sometimes you would see him roller blading down the corridors screaming with knee and elbow pads

- zlatko would strap a bright pink helmet onto him every time. imagine his blond hair crammed into a helmet tho

- mario loves a bit of gardening. in his spare time he plants flowers and stuff but he mainly likes to plant vegetables

- he can spend hours making the garden look pretty in the summer

- he shows up to training with homemade vegetable soup in a massive flask to hand out to the boys

- they all ended up lining up bc it was so good

- šime likes to experiment with coffee and different combinations. around your house there are all sorts of coffee making equipment and it always smells like coffee in the mornings

- in the evenings luka sits down at the kitchen table before dinner with ema and ivano to do some colouring. he does those adult colouring books and always makes them really colourful

- krama does creative writing and publishes crime fiction under a pen name

- imagine him sat there on the sofa with his hipster glasses, a scarf and a turtleneck writing a new short story. the concentration in his face tho

- dejan swims for leisure naked. that time šime caught him and jumped into the pool fully clothed, screeching at the rest of the nt to come in

- he usually swims alone bc it relaxes him but loves it when you join him skinny dipping at open air pools in the summer

- livi likes photography. he has a secret Insta account where he showcases his street photography. he loves to take you on exotic holidays and take photos of you 

- ante has practiced mixed martial arts for years. he teaches karate to children on saturdays and is the chillest, funniest instructor you could imagine

- he gets little gifts from the kids on his birthday and it made him tear up

- marko and marko are massive fans of box sets. they always room together, so they get watch shows like downton abbey, sherlock, got, westworld

- they’re always having in depth conversations about them during breaks and the whole team jokingly tease them

- raketa has started getting piano lessons and blushes softly when he plays the wrong note. he tries to serenade you with romantic songs, like at that party, but the boys only wanted him to play mojo domovina so they could sing along

[bernardesci]

Don’t you just love matching outfits on couples

[sumska-vjestica]

DEJO SAID THAT AFTER THIS HAPPENED SIME SNEAKED BACK INTO DEJO'S ROOM AND LAID DOWN ON TOP OF HIM AND FELL ASLEEP?????? MY HEART IS GOING TO EXPLODE CALL 911

[pospanost]

Epic live sentences part drei 🐣

-At the start of the live Dej says that his Internet connection is bad and then adds "Maybe I didn't pay my bills now" tako je dejane dosta je bilo zajebavanja na naš račun

- After looking @ the comments he asks why people are hiding behind pages with his name {those are called fan pages Dejan okay? Okay}

- Someone asked Salah or Šime? He said that those are two different men and then started describing Šime (his gay showed) saying: “Šime is.. Šime is.. With what can I compare Šime? *smiles* I don’t know. Šime is a god. He is in his own world and I’m somehow fitting in this world inside him. And we just get along together. And he is an amazing guy.” {shout out to Petra I copied this from you}

-After slurring upon his own sentences his brother comments on the live "your sentences are well formed"

-Then he tries to invite/call Šime into the live but does not succeed

-Oxlade comments and asks who his favourite teammate is and Dejan answers "Mo and Ox, that's my honest answer."

- Invites Ox into the live [Alex's 'bratee' is so cute, he's such a cutie]

- Tries calling Šime again at which he accepts and enters the live

- Meanwhile Davor and Iamrockfilius keep talking in the comments lmao

- Šime couldn't hear Dej well and here comes the Balkan swearing soul "jebem ti Internet više u pičku materinu" then says "no hearing needed, everything is already known" [ne treba se čuti sve se zna😏]

- "Who's better, Šime or Salah? Well, those are two different men. It's like comparing lamborghini and ferrari."

- Shows the TV in his room and adds "Everyone should have huge tvs so we can stream our lives so everyone sees what we do in the bedroom even when we are asleep. " (uhh okay Dej) and then says that it would be like a series of their ig lives

- What do you think about my hair? It grew nicely. Should I cut it again? *laughs* I'm joking, that was the mistake of the century . {we are glad you realised it let's never do that again}

- Turns the camera towards the wall where chopped wood can be seen and says: "Look I bought 10 meters of wood." at which Šime asks if he cut/chopped them himself

- Šime sends the smol chicken emoji and then adds did he start walking / did he arrive?

- How is the chicken raising going? Oh, I didn't tell you, someone DMed me a photo of a live chicken. They are holding a live chicken and saying AJ LAJK.

- [talking about bad internet connection] "Ne radi? Kako ne radi? Jel do mene ili tebe? O jebem ti mater u pičku." - It's not working? How is it not working? Is it me or you? Oh fuck your mother in the pussy.

- Dej asked him if he got his rockf shirt and Šime says no he didn't get it yet and Dej replies: "You didn't? How? Matija you are fired. Do you hear me? You just got fired on instagram live in front of 10 000 people. "

- Davor was also watching the live and then wrote in the comments IAMOTKAZ - IAMFIRED (cause Matija's insta username is IAMROCKFILIUS)

-Šime was eating pomegranate when Dej called him, Dej couldn't hear him well so Šime said he's gona write it in the comments and he just wrote "I am eating pomegranate."

- Somewhere near the end of the live Šime said he's going to go & eat 2-3 more pomegranates and Dej was obviously shook because of that & he said 2-3 more?! Are you crazy? You will spend the whole night on the toilette.

- Dejan telling Šime about the Mo or Šime questions and Šime saying "To je šalah". He literally made a pun because šala means joke it doesn't make sense on English but it was amazing 10/10

- Šime telling Dej to quiet down because his dogs are asleep [shows the dogs] and Dej starts yelling "GET UP, NO SLEEPING"

- Kombinacija čaj i šipak..to je šičaj. { Newflash za obojicu nije šipak nego je nar hvala i adio}

- Dej teases Šime about drinking tea and eating pomegranate and asks does he think that Messi does that [lmao poor Messi let him live!!] and I cannot recall who said it but one of them said "His pomegranate doesn't grow, it WALKS"

- Also Šime asked Dejan with whom was he in the room (when Šime wasn't there) and he answered I was alone, with who am I supposed to be?

- Šime was watching a football match and they start talking about for how long they're gonna play and Dejan said he's gonna play until his legs fall off and Šime added that he's going to play until his hips break (dok se kukovi ne odlome lmao iconic but not healthy)

- At the end of the live they said their goodbyes and our lovely oh so in love with his boyfriend Dejan says bye love, talk to you soon🐣

That's it! I apologise if I forgot some things but I tried to fit everything into the post. Sorry for the waiting or potential mistakes, I have a lot of studying to do so I had to do this either at night or early in the morning. Special thank you to my two lovelies @living-lovren [wrote half of the sentences] and @loodalo [corrected some, added some and approved of the post. See Lusi we're not betraying you]

\ additional tags: @toni1611 @mwrieke @dj--bagudina \

[ivan-rakitic]

im not sorry.

[kovacissues]

Where are all the jealous Šime posts after THOSE pics of Dejan and Mo🤔

[sejan-is-my-religion]

Šime:I'M SORRY I TALKED YOU INTO THIS

Dejan:I'M SORRY I LISTENED

[lovrenpool]

Me writing inappropriate fanfics about Sejan, Rakidric, and whatever Vida x Mandzukiç is called..

[domo-no-domo-yes]

Croatian NT x Disney | 6/? | Šime Vrsaljko x Dejan Lovren - Aladdin

Šime Vrsaljko as Aladdin

Dejan Lovren as Jasmine