#definitely outing myself to people who follow me on here but don't know we're in a discord server together
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mad-scientist-enthusiast · 1 year ago
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My last post has reminded me of something that I honestly forgot was a thing.
Malevolent fans... I love you all dearly. I am a fellow Malevolent fan myself. But you guys do know this podcast is based off of books, right? Like yes technically the story goes in the direction the Patreon chooses, but the locations, the symbols, the gods and things... Are from books. This story takes place in the Cthulhu Mythos. Arkham is a fictional town from HP Lovecraft's stories. Shub Niggurath is also from HP Lovecraft. So is Miskatonic University, the symbols, and so on. The King in Yellow wasn't originally created by HP Lovecraft, but was instead part of the Yellow Mythos written by Robert Chambers. The character Hastur (the King in Yellow) and his lore was then adopted into the Cthulhu Mythos and I think he's actually like Cthulhu's half brother or something now.
But like,,, The King in Yellow wasn't invented by Harlan Guthrie. You can learn more about the King in Yellow and these creatures and places by READING BOOKS. If you want more content in between Malevolent episodes, maybe go to your local library and give the source material a shot!
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eclarinet · 4 months ago
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same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
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ofstarsandvibranium · 13 days ago
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Stuck in the Moment
Fandom: Marvel (CEO AU)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Summary: It was just supposed to be a regular day at work. But a huge storm hit the city. The power goes out and you're stuck inside the elevator with an incredibly attractive man. So with nothing else to do, you two get to know each other while waiting to be rescued.
A/N: technically, CEO's son AU but whatever
Bucky Barnes Masterlist
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You quickly close your umbrella and rush inside. Even with the umbrella and a raincoat, you're still partially drenched.
A storm has hit the city. You hear the occasional roar of thunder and flash of lightning, raindrops pelting against the pavement and windows of your work building.
You flash your badge and walk through security. You shoot a smile to Stan, one of the older security guards, "Keeping warm, Stan?"
"As best as I can, Y/N!" he replies, zipping up his jacket further up towards his neck.
You gather with the group of people in front of the elevators. Two doors open, and people start filing in. Both elevators fill up quick, so you decide to hang back and wait for the next one.
You hear someone approach you and they sigh. A soothing, deep voice follows, "Jeez. Did not mentally prepare myself for this much rain."
You turn your head, your eyes meeting striking blue ones. The owner of the voice is as handsome as he sounds. You chuckle and quickly look away, "I know. Even with my umbrella and raincoat, I still wasn't as prepared for this storm."
"I forgot an umbrella hence," he gestures to his drenched suit jacket.
You snort, "Gotta keep a small, compact one with you at all times around this time of year. Never know when a storm will happen."
"Definitely going to follow your advice," he says with a grin.
The elevator door nearest you opens and he gestures, "After you."
"Thanks," you reply, stepping inside and the handsome man filing in behind you. You press the fifth button while he presses the eleventh.
You can't help but comment, "You must be a high profile person if you're going to the top."
The man shyly shrugs, "I suppose," he nods to the fifth button, "You're in the marketing department?"
"Yup. I'm part of the social media team."
"Ah. You guys get to have all the fun."
You giggle, "It's not all fun, but, yeah, we do like-"
The elevator slows, but not because it's approaching your floor. The light's flicker and the elevator creaks to a halt. Your body sways at the stop. The lights flicker again and then you're engrossed in darkness.
You groan out in annoyance, "Oh come on!"
The man with you takes out his phone and turns the flash on. He faces it to the ceiling, illuminating the elevator, "You okay?"
"Yeah, you?"
"Same," he sighs, "Guess the storm created a power outage. Might be some time until the power comes back or until we're rescued."
"Great."
Your phone starts to buzz and you pull it out of your bag. You answer it, "Kate?"
"Hey! Are you at work already 'cause looks like the entire building is experiencing a power outage."
"Yuuup and I was unfortunate enough to be riding the elevator when the power went out."
"Shit. Okay, what floor are you on?"
"I think we're in-between three and four."
"Oh good, you're not alone!"
"Nope. I'm with-" you pause, and look to the man, "Sorry, I never got your name."
"Bucky."
"Hey, Bucky. I'm Y/N. I'd say 'nice to meet you' but I wouldn't call our current situation 'nice'"
He chuckles, "I get it and likewise."
"Who the hell is Bucky? I've never heard of a Bucky before."
"Not now, Kate. Anyway, I should probably save as much of my phone battery as possible. Keep me updated on the power and such."
"Will do! Stay safe and don't die!"
You snort, "I'll try not to." You end the call and look back at Bucky.
"Since you're probably like an executive or something, do you happen to have contact to any other higher ups about this power outage?"
He nods and gestures to his phone, "Getting several text messages from people. I've let them know we're stuck here and they've already contacted the fire department. But considering the storm and everything, might take them a while to get here."
"So guess we have to get comfortable," you set your bag down and slip off your raincoat. You set it on the floor and sit on it. Bucky looks at you with a cocked brow and you shrug, "What? The floor's wet!"
Bucky chuckles to himself and finds a dry spot in the corner. He slides down the wall to sit on the floor, "So, Y/N from Marketing, tell me your life story." You look at him confused and he shrugs, "Might as well get to know each other since we might be stuck here for a while."
______________________________
Within the first hour, learn that Bucky is the eldest sibling and he has a younger sister. His best friends are named Steve and Sam. He's a huge nerd that loves Star Wars and Star Trek. He went to Columbia University to study business, which is why he's now working here.
You told him about your childhood, that you and your best friend, Yelena, moved to the city for school and ended up staying. You express your passion for social media marketing and, ultimately, how you ended up working for Barnes Co., thanks to Yelena's sister, Nat.
"How long have you been working here?" Bucky asks you.
"It's going to be my two year anniversary in a few months."
Bucky slowly nods, "Can't believe you've been here for two years and I've never seen you around."
You give him a shrug, "It's a big building. Lots of people work here. Besides, you work with the higher ups, so I doubt you'd even see me around."
You take this moment to look over him with the minimal lighting you have. He clearly makes a lot of money from what you can tell. His shoes and suit are obviously designer. Hugo Boss or Armani or something. His watch is definitely a Rolex and probably costs more than your entire life.
Bucky shakes his head, "I know, but I do try my best to get to know everyone who works here. The company is what it is because of everyone who works here, not just the CEO, CFOs, and executives."
"That's nice to hear, Bucky. I mean, I knew that this company really values its employees, but to hear someone close to the top say so, is really reassuring."
He shyly chuckles, "Well, uh, yeah, um," he clears his throat, "So, uh, you seeing anyone?" he winces at how unsmooth that came out.
But you chuckle, "Are you asking me out?"
"Me? No, no. Just, ya know, we talked about our childhood, our jobs, only topic we haven't hit is our love lives. Besides, it'll probably a little bit longer until we're rescued. They're working on getting the people on the first two floors out first." Bucky does his best to be as nonchalant as possible and you find it so adorable. You never expected a guy like him to be a little shy.
"Riiiight. Well, I've dated, been in a few relationships, but nobody's really stuck around for long. Kind of getting tired of the whole dating game, so haven't really put much thought into relationships lately. What about you?"
He nervously rubs the back of his neck, "I, uh, hate to say that I dated around a lot when I was younger. Not super proud of myself for that. But as I grew older, started wanting a more stable relationship. Was in one for a long time with a woman. Thought we were going to get married and everything, but then I found out she stuck around because of my growing wealth so-"
"Yikes."
"Yeah. Went back to dating and sleeping around and it got old again quicker than before. I guess I'm kind of like you, focusing on myself and work. Doing my best to just survive in the world."
You slowly nod, "Well, what a pair we make, huh? I mean, look at us," you gesture to yourself and him, "Stuck in an elevator, sharing our life stories, getting to know each other. Honestly, thought a situation like this would be so much worse, but I'm glad it was you that got stuck with me in this situation."
Bucky laughs, "Same here."
"Buck?" you hear a muffled voice from the other side of the elevator doors.
"Dad?!"
"Yeah, you guys okay in there?"
"We're okay!"
"Good! The fire department's here. They're getting you guys out. Just hang tight!"
"Not like we can go anywhere!" Bucky replies and you laugh. He grins at you as you wait for the doors to pry open.
______________________
The entire building was evacuated. Several people stayed back to make sure everyone was safe. Nat and Kate stayed in the lobby waiting for you to be rescued.
When you exited the stairs door, they rushed over to you.
"Holy shit, are you okay?!"
"Yeah. Me and Bucky just hung out that entire time," you gesture to the man who follows behind you.
Nat looks over your shoulder and her eyes widen, "You were stuck in the elevator with James Barnes?"
"James?" you turn to face Bucky as he approaches you, "I thought your name is Bucky."
He nervously clears his throat, "Uh, well, kinda. Technically, my name is James Buchanan Barnes, but those closest to me call me Bucky."
Your realization has your eyes widen and you take a step back, "You're George Barnes' son."
He sheepishly waves, "Hi."
"Well...that's...cool." You didn't know what to say, honestly. You're a little surprised by the reveal. You quickly go through the info that Bucky shared with you in the elevator shaft. He never mentioned his dad or anything that could hint at the position he holds. He deliberately held that info from you.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Bucky says with a guilty expression on his face.
You shake your head, "No, it's-it's fine. I mean, I knew you worked a high position but didn't think...that high."
He snorts, "Yeah, um, I just hope you don't see me differently."
"Not at all. I met you as Bucky, the sci-fi nerd who sucks at flirting, so that's how I see you."
"Sucks at flirting? Yeesh, guess that's what happens when I haven't dated in a while."
You laugh, "Happens to the best of us."
"Son, you ready?" George Barnes approaches Bucky.
"Yeah," he nods to his dad and looks back at you, "See you around, Y/N."
"See ya," you give him a small wave and turn back to Kate and Nat. They look at you like you grew another head, "What?"
"The son of George Barnes, James Barnes, son of the CEO of Barnes Co., was flirting with you?!"
You scoff, "I wouldn't really say he was flirting with me. More like attempting to flirt. It doesn't matter. Not like he'd actually want to date someone like me," you shrug it off and pull on your raincoat, "Ready to go?"
_____________________
Everyone was working from home the following day to ensure that the building was safe to occupy when the power came back.
The weather is still poor but not as bad as the day before. Still, you decide to step outside, choosing a cafe to work from rather than your shared apartment with Yelena.
You’re answering emails while sipping on a warm beverage when you get a new message on Slack from James Barnes:
JB: You’re looking cozy over there in your corner.
You immediately look around and spot him on the opposite side of the cafe. When your eyes meet his, he gives a wave. He quickly gathers his things and you keep your eyes on him as he moves across the cafe to your table.
“May I join you?”
“If you’d like.”
He sits across from you and you lower your laptop screen, “Not gonna lie, kinda creepy that you did that, Barnes.”
He shyly shrugs, “I guess I really do need to brush up on my flirting hm?”
You giggle, “Yeah, I suppose you do.”
“Maybe I can practice with you?”
You give him a coy look, “I guess you can.”
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stormberry-12 · 2 years ago
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the pogues/ESPECIALLY JJ would protect innocent!reader SO MUCH. like she could be the youngest or something and they would go back for her (for ex. when they had to leave jb in s3). anyways jj would so definitely say something like, “you’re like their little sister, but you’re MY girl.” yk
my woman ~ jj maybank x reader
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Ahh yes, I totally agree, and I LOVE the innocent!reader and JJ trope>>>
pairing: jj x innocent!fem!reader
warnings: slight language, reader in danger, mega fluff.
notes: lowercase intended, this was made late at night and not rlly edited srry if its bad lmao, not from season 3 but a close concept. :)
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you shifted around and felt the sun on your face as your eyes fluttered open. you were in the twinkie bumping along a winding road, clinging onto jj, who was sitting in his seat, like a koala. or as jay called it, "the front pack", it was like a piggyback but on his front because he always wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay.
you shifted your legs around his torso and lifted your head from the crook of his neck.
"hiya, cupcake," he whispered softly, taking one of his arms that was wrapped around you and moving it so he could brush strands of hair from out of your eyes. "good nap?"
you nodded, wiping the sleep from your eyes, and he smiled. you suddenly recalled how you had gotten here and relief washed over you.
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you were running through alleyways on the cut, you felt betrayed. where had the pogues gone? they were there with you five seconds ago and now you were running away from those bloody square groupers alone.
over by the pogues, jj was having a mental breakdown, "where did she go man?"
"damn it!" john b exclaimed."pope, i thought she was behind you when we cut down this way!
"we have to go back for her-" jj houghed.
"i don't know jay..."
"no... no. we have to." he held his hat in one hand and ran the other through his hair in distress.
"he's right, we have to." pope agreed.
"come on man, we finally lost those guys and now you want to follow em?" john b sighed.
"jb you of all people should understand, she's like a little sister to you man! she's still only 16 and this kind of stuff scares the shit out of her, i can't do that to her guys-"
"john b we're going after her," kie pleaded.
"god! we're wasting time, i'm gonna go after her, even if i have to do it by myself!" jj ran off in your last seen direction. john b gave in and followed along with the rest of the pogues, they all knew jj was right, and their group wouldn't survive without you.
as you continued to run, blood pumping through your ears, you looked for the best spot to hide behind, trying to throw them off. you slid behind a large dumpster and listened as the sets of footsteps of the two men ran past you.
you waited a moment, calming your breathing before you moved from behind the bin. you jumped as the footsteps came back in your direction, but instead of those square groupers, it was jj and the pogues.
"y/n!" j sighed in relief scooping you up into his arms. "I'm so sorry, that will never happen again-"
you just stood there too exhausted to complain, your face buried in his chest. john b brought the twinkie around the corner and you all piled in, driving off into the night.
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"you came back for me," you smiled at your boyfriend wrapping your arms around his neck, still facing him on his lap.
"of course," jj said. "you know you're like their little sister, we honestly would fall apart without you... and your my girl."
"your girl?" you giggled.
"my girl, my woman, my soulmate." he repeated smoothly pressing his forehead to yours and closing his eyes. "you sure you're okay?"
"yeah," you said, leaning into his touch, playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. "perfect,"
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graysturns · 8 months ago
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𝕗𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕣𝕠𝕠𝕞 | 𝕞.𝕤.
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note: hey guys this is my first time posting my actual work and i’m kinda new to tumblr so pls be nice or i will cry ok thanks bye
warnings: idk smut ig
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"babe please hurry up, we're already running late," matt sighs as he shuts the car door.
"i just need to get some shorts or something, i can't show up to your mom's house in these jeans, look at this" i lift the sweater wrapped around my waist, revealing the rip around my inner thigh.
he rolls his eyes and sulks behind me as we make our way inside the old navy in our hometown. i begin to scan the various women's clothing, looking for something basic, because it's too late to go back home and figure out a new outfit.
"will you hurry up and pick one? please, y/n. chris is texting me wondering where we are. they want to start eating without us and he's most definitely gonna eat all the mac and cheese."
i roll my eyes at him. "first of all, never call me by my government name. rude. and second, we just got here, breathe. we wouldn't be here if you hadn't grabbed my ass so harshly when we stopped at the gas station. you caused this by manhandling me, matthew." i shot back.
he sighs again as i grab a few different options in my size and head towards the fitting rooms. upon arrival, we notice there aren't any employees so i pick a stall and wave matt into the small room.
he looks up at me, then around at our surroundings, "are you sure? i don't think they allow multiple people in at once, i'll just wait here."
i roll my eyes again. "matthew! get in here! i need your opinion. this store is basically empty anyways. it's not a big deal, you've seen me naked before. let's not act so innocent."
he follows me in and takes a seat on the bench facing the door. i untie the sweater he lent me and throw it at his face. "rude!" he exclaims sassily, throwing the wad of clothing to the ground.
"uhm, excuse me, you're rude. you're the whole reason we're in this mess." i begin to remove the ripped pair of pants and pull a new one off its hanger.
facing the mirror on the door, i begin to pull the pair of mom jeans on before matt looks up from his phone and stops me.
"baby, i've never seen these panties on you before, are they new?" he smirks at me. i nod, swatting at his hands.
"wait stop, they're super cute, why haven't you shown me?" he looks up at me with those hypnotic blue eyes, brows furrowed.
i turn around, with the jeans still around my ankles and my hands on my hips. "do i need to inform you every time i purchase a new article of clothing, matt? it's just panties."
he wiggles his eyebrows at me, "when they make your ass look like that, then yeah, i must be notified immediately." he places me onto his lap, pulling the jeans all the way off my ankles so i can straddle him.
"baby we're running late, you're the one who keeps insisting, as much as i want to, we don't have time to fool around" i say to him between the open-mouthed kisses he begins to place on my neck.
he starts to take my top off, then gasps. "fuck the mac and cheese! it's a matching set, now i really can't believe you kept this from me." he drools at the sight of the lacy see-through bra, rubbing his thumb over my visible nipple. he yanks down the thin fabric, causing my boobs to spill over. with one arm wrapped around me, clutching my ass, he uses the other to massage my breast, all while kissing my neck. i feel myself starting to give in, biting my lip to stifle a moan. "matt, i-i don't think we can do this here." i slightly protest, but he reaches up to kiss me, and bites my bottom lip.
i'm done for.
he's kissing and grabbing and rubbing all over me and i'm a mess. i can never say no to him, he knows how to manipulate my body to want exactly what he wants. i can feel his bulge through his jeans, and i grind on it slowly, making my clit throb against it.
suddenly, he lifts me and flips me around so im sat on his lap, and we're both facing the mirror. he's unbuckling his belt, then his pants. he wraps one arm around my waist and lifts me slightly while he pulls down his pants and boxers, revealing his dick, standing tall and proud.
he makes eye contact with me in the mirror and grabs my face, smushing my cheeks together, and whispers in my ear, "i want you to watch baby, watch how good you can take my whole dick inside of you, pay real close attention."
he smirks at my widened eyes, and moves the panties to one side, rubbing the wetness all around and then on my clit.
"you normally get to scream all you want, but not this time baby, okay? you need to be really really quiet for me, got it?" he covers my mouth.
i nod quickly, and without warning, he picks me up and thrusts his entire length into me. i hold back a scream, and i feel tears falling down my cheeks. no matter how many times, how long we've been together, i'll never be used to his size.
he gives me a second to adjust, and then begins to pound into me over and over again, my back sliding up and down his clothed chest. i'm watching as my breasts bounce up and down and his dick glides in and out, in and out. he uncovers my mouth, keeping one hand on my waist, and starts to rub circles on my clit with the pad of his thumb, making me roll my eyes back further in pleasure.
he begins to nibble on my ear, then moves down to suck the spot right underneath. as he kisses down, i feel him bite down on my shoulder to suppress a moan.
"matthew!" i hiss at the pain, but it feels so good.
"shh!" he pinches my nipple, causing me to let out a whimper.
i grab his wrist, stopping his movement, and smile at him, "my turn." i bend down slightly, still facing the mirror so he has a full view of my ass while i bounce on his dick. he presses down on my back, sliding his hand down to secure a firm grip on my neck. he curses under his breath, trying hard not to make any noise while i'm aggressively riding him. he places both hands on my ass grasping and slapping occasionally, until i sit back up and we're making eye contact in the reflection. he's rubbing on my clit again, using his other hand to massage my left breast and i can feel a knot forming in my abdomen.
i turn around so i'm straddling him, and continue to bounce up and down. he grabs me by my throat and kisses me roughly, before planting a hard slap on my ass. i move faster, and he groans, grasping my ass tighter, leaving hand-shaped bruises for him to stare at later.
"i'm almost there baby. fuck, you're the most beautiful thing i've ever laid my eyes on." he whispers in my ear and i close my eyes, feeling my climax creeping close.
we start moving in sync, until my legs shake, and i feel his dick twitch, then shoot his load into me, causing me to finish as well, leaving me trembling on his lap. i drop my head forward onto his shoulder, desperately trying to catch my breath
he wraps his arms around my shoulders, kissing the side of my head. "wow, what we just did was probably super illegal, " i laugh at his comment, but then frown when i realize what we've done.
"fucking hell, matt. we can't buy pants now, i feel too awkward going up to the register after we've been in this fitting room for so long, they probably know what we've been doing!" i cover my face with my hands.
"baby that's alright," he grabs my wrists, pulling my hands away from my face. "just put your clothes back on, we'll go back to the car, and you can just borrow some sweats when we get home."
i stare at him, mouth gaping in realization. "are you serious? we could've just done that in the first place! i'm so dumb, why didn't i think of that?"
he stands and helps me put my shirt on, followed by the ripped jeans, "it's alright y/n, i didn't think of it either. let's go home, i'm starving." he smiles at me, rubbing small circles on my back.
"i love you, matt" i look up at him, with red cheeks, wondering how i'm going to leave this dressing room with any dignity.
"i love you. don't worry, i know what you're thinking. just hold my hand and we'll walk back to the car, c'mon." he laces our fingers together and kisses me on the forehead, unlocking the door and stepping out of the changing room.
luckily enough, nobody seemed to even notice us weaving through the aisles and exiting the store. we managed to get back in matt's car without a single interruption, and soon after arriving at his house, where chris had demolished the entire dish of mac and cheese.
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ahh can’t believe i’m posting this but fuck it we ball
to be added to taglist comment here
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w2soneshots · 5 months ago
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INside -Angry ginge
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words: 0.9k+
warnings: none.
summary: you enter the inside house and quickly get along with a particularly attractive ginger boy.
notes: hello loves! I’ve had so many people asking for more angry ginge fics so here’s a one off😉. Enjoy!!💓🫶🏼
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Today I'm going into a house with nine other people for a week. No connection with the outside world, no internet and with mostly strangers that I've never met. It's for the sidemen's new reality show. I haven't been told much about it so it will be quite a surprise.
The taxi dropped me off outside and I grabbed my suitcase from the boot. I pushed open the heavy door to reveal what looked like an airport security. I furrowed my brows. "The fuck is this?" I walked through the scanner then read the signs on the mirror. "Smile for the camera." I pulled a face then popped my suitcase onto the conveyor belt. Once I was finished I opened the door on the right.
The house was quiet when I made my way up the stairs. "Hello?!" I shouted out. I walked into the living room. "Hey!" Joe ran towards me. "Hi! I can't believe you're in here!" We shared a quick hug. I've known Joe for years. It was nice to know that someone I knew was in the house. Then another guy stepped forward. "Hello. I'm Morgan." He greeted me with a cute smile. I smiled back. "Hi, I'm y/n."
The next to arrive was Chloe (who I know since I was on her podcast), followed by everyone else. They all seemed nice but I could tell that there was a few people in it just for the money, which I understand but I want to make friends and just have some fun. We picked our beds. I ended up between Morgan and Manrika. We all sat down on the sofa to have a chat. After a little while Miniminter, Vik and KSI walked into the room. Everyone erupted in cheers and claps.
"Welcome to inside!" JJ started dramatically. "You will all be battling it out for a prize fund that starts out at one million pounds." Everyone clapped once again. "As you guys can see, there's not much in this house. That's because everything costs money." Vik said, putting on his best presenter voice. "No Vik no!" Joe joked. Simon began, "We're going to be opening the shop so you can buy whatever you want, but you're going to be paying for it through everyone's prize money." Vik went on to explain all about the shop, the daily challenges and food (we only get basic stuff unless we want to purchase it from the shop).
They left soon after and we continued to chat away. Until the tv screen lit up, reading 'the shop is now open'. Everyone raced downstairs. "Two grand for the pool balls?! You're taking the piss." Ginge stared at the board. "You have to pay for a shower? Are you fucking joking!" My eyes widened. I really didn't want to have cold showers every day.
After a long conversation about the shop and trying not to spend anything we all went upstairs. Then lunch arrived. It was freezing cold rice and chickpeas. I genuinely could not force myself to eat it, it was disgusting. Everyone went to eat their food then me and Ginge slipped away from the group to go downstairs. We giggled as we hurried into the shop. "I'm fucking starving." I ordered a packet of crisps and a fizzy drink. He ordered the same. We sat on the floor and ate in peace.
After the first night I slowly began to catch feelings for Morgan, and Chloe was quick to notice. "But do you find him attractive?" She asked me as we got ready. "I don't know. He's tall and he's cute." I replied, not making eye contact with her. "Oh you definitely like him!" She chuckled.
It started to become a running joke in the house. The way we looked at each other, our banter and the fact we always sat next to each other. Me and Ginge didn't talk about it directly but one day Specs was telling me about the conversation he had had with Morgan and it was very interesting. "He said that he would go on a date with you if he got the chance." "You're joking?" I was slightly surprised and I didn't want to look like a mug if Specs was just having me on. "No seriously. He likes you y/n."
Ginge left the next day and I actually missed him. It felt weird not having him around. I ended up getting into the final three before I left. I was really happy for Chloe and Manrika. I also saw Morgan again, we shared a quick hug then I gave him the rundown on what happened after he had left. We filmed tiktok's, took pictures and then said our goodbyes. I felt as though I had made some really good friends and made some interesting memories.
A few days after the final I got a call from Morgan. "Hey!" I answered in a cheerful voice. "Hi, I just wanted to ask if you were free anytime this week?" He got straight to the point and sounded slightly nervous. "Are you asking me out?" "Uh- well- yeah." He stumbled on his words. "So Specs wasn't joking." I thought out loud. "What?" "I'll explain on our date. You free Friday?" I asked. Unbeknownst to me a huge smile spread across his face. "Yeah I am." "Great see you then."
After I decided the call I quickly rang Chloe. "Babe, you'll never guess who just asked me out!" I began excitedly. "Who? Wait! Ginge?! No way!" She screeched down the phone.
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stormz369 · 1 month ago
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☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 6
Jason Todd x (f)Chubby!Reader
written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, will probably get NSFW later, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!
warnings: tense conversation ahead, reader character has more loyalty than sense
word count: 1.8k
Chapter Selection
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“Umm, why is Bruce Wayne requesting a table in your section?”
My head snapped up from the silverware I was rolling to meet Edna's eyes. “... Me?”
“Yeah, you! What's going on?” She leaned in conspiratorially; “you're not in any kind of trouble, are you?”
I laughed a bit awkwardly. “Not that I know of.”
“Hm… well, he's at table 6, so …” she waved me off.
I grabbed a pen and rushed over. Bruce Wayne was an imposing man up close. He looked a lot like Jason actually, and I had to remind myself that Jay was adopted. He followed me with his eyes as I approached; an intimidating, emotionless stare.
Before I could open my mouth, he spoke my name. Not a question, a matter of fact, as if we'd met before. “... Um … yes, sir. That’s me. … Can I get you started with anything?”
“Just a coffee please. And when you have a minute, get one for yourself and join me.”
I nodded slowly and went to tell the shift manager that I needed a quick break. The diner was practically empty at this time of night, so he gave me minimal shit for it, and I took the coffees back to the table. Mr. Wayne gestured for me to take a seat across from him.
 “… I'm sorry we're meeting this way, but it became … necessary.”
“... Necessary, sir?”
“Please, call me Bruce. … Um, yes; it seems my children have been a bit … overzealous in protecting their brother, and you are owed an apology.”
I blinked repeatedly. “... S- sorry?”
He sighed softly. “I believe you met Dick and Tim?” I nodded. “Dick informed me that you've been dating Jason, and … last night I discovered that Tim has taken it upon himself to run a background check on you.”
I blinked slowly. “Oh … Well, I guess that makes sense. Your family is well known, it's logical to want to know exactly who's getting close to you.”
Bruce stared at me, raising an eyebrow ever so slightly as I awkwardly sipped my coffee. “... You aren't upset?”
“I mean, it's definitely weird to hear, but I can't say I'm surprised. When I realized who I was talking to it did seem probable that something like this would eventually happen. … Anything interesting in the report?”
“... All pretty standard stuff. … It said you dropped out of college, may I ask why?”
I shrugged. “Life got in the way, and I didn't know for sure what I wanted to study. Couldn't justify the expense anymore if I didn't have a clear trajectory.”
“The Wayne Foundation has a higher education fund, I'm sure you would qualify for a scholarship.”
“That's kind of you, but once again - unsure what path to pursue. That money would be better spent on people who do know what they want from school.”
He observed me for a moment. “... Interesting. … Well, nevertheless; on behalf of my boys, I'd like to offer you our sincerest apologies. They know they've crossed the line, and have been reprimanded accordingly.”
“I … thank you, I guess? But I don't think I'm the one who needs the apology.”
“No? Your privacy was invaded.”
I shrugged. “They haven't bothered me since introducing me to Jay, which I already forgave them for because … well, it gave me Jay. But from what I've heard they've been doing more than the usual amount of protective-sibling stuff towards him, and he's getting frustrated about it. Seems like he's the one who'd want to know they're going to stop.”
Bruce nodded once, seeming to be deep in thought. “... Jason-”
“Wants to know what exactly you're doing here, Bruce.” I nearly jumped out of my skin. I hadn’t seen or heard him approach, but Jason was suddenly looming over the table, glowering at the man across from me.
“Jesus! … Jason, what the hell?” I cautiously reached for his hand, hoping to calm him down a bit.
His demeanor shifted entirely when he turned to face me. The sharp anger in his face slipped away as our eyes met, and the faintest hint of a smile slid across his lips. He gently stroked my knuckles with his thumb, turning fully toward me.
“Hey Doll~”Jason leaned over me, gently cupping my cheek with the tips of his fingers. “How’s my favorite girl?”
I blushed bright red, unable to stop the grin that spread across my face. No one had ever been so openly affectionate with me in public before, and while we had made some progress in the casual touching department, this was the first time he'd touched my face. I could feel Bruce's eyes on us, but mine were transfixed by the look on Jason's face. There was something in his eyes I'd never seen before; he looked focused and determined, but for the life of me I couldn't guess what he was determined about.
“I … I'm good. … What are you doing here?”
“Just taking out some trash, darling.” He smirked a bit.
“Jason, really, I wish you would calm down.” Bruce's sharp stare was trained firmly on the back of Jason's head. “Dick said you've been dating this nice girl for months, so I wanted to meet her. If you aren't going to tell me these things yourself, and you clearly aren't going to bring her by the manor, you can't be surprised when I eventually take matters into my own hands.”
“Don’t you know better than to harass pretty girls at work, Bruce? Someone should have taught you better.” 
The atmosphere had been tense in the first place, but now it was frigid. I gently squeezed Jason's hand, frowning. “Honey, that was uncalled for. He's not harassing me, he just came to apologize for your brothers.”
Jason growled a bit; “They have mouths, they can apologize for themselves.”
I sighed softly, gently cupping his hand on my cheek. “Jay, … why don't you take a seat at that table,” I pointed to one a little bit away; “and when my shift is over we'll go home.”
He frowned; “no, I'm staying right here.”
“Jason, you're going to get me fired if you keep bothering the customers, which is exactly what Bruce is right now.”
“You don't need this job, I'll-”
“I'm gonna stop you right there. This is not 50 Shades of Gotham, you are not my sugar daddy, and we are not married. You are not going to be paying my rent any time soon. If you want to watch over me you can take a seat. Otherwise I can give you my keys and you can wait for me at my place, or you can find somewhere else to be for now and I'll call you when I get off.”
A look of annoyance flashed across his face, and for a moment the green flecks in his eyes seemed more prominent than usual. “... If he says or does anything you don't like…”
“You'll be my knight in shining … denim. I know~” I turned my head a bit to kiss his palm. “Go on, now~ I'll come over as soon as I can.”
Slowly, he stepped back, letting his hand drop to his side. Glaring at Bruce the whole way, he took a seat at a nearby table, and Edna went over to take his order. Bruce looked me over, a curious expression on his face.
“... That was … interesting.” He mused, sipping his coffee.
“I’m sure he didn't mean what he said. He gets a bit defensive when Dick and Tim bother him about us too, but once he's had a minute to process he always realizes they're just trying to be brotherly … in a weird, slightly overbearing way.”
“Oh, that was all par for the course. No, what's interesting is how readily he backed down. It usually takes him hours to calm down enough to be rational when he's upset with one of us. …”
I clenched my jaw. Jason hadn't told me much about his family, but I knew they had a tense relationship, and I felt like I was starting to see why. “... It probably helps that I'm not treating him like he's being irrational. I don't know the full story, but I do know that something in his life taught him that you showing up here is a threat of some kind. A threat he felt he had to come here to protect me from. And while I'm sure that’s not what you mean by it, I also know that telling him he's wrong won't solve anything. He doesn't trust based on words, he trusts based on actions. I don't know what actions of yours have taught him this about you, but here we are. So if playing the protective boyfriend role helps him to feel safe, I'm not going to belittle him for that. And if you are, then I don't think we have anything else to say to each other… Sir.”
Bruce watched me through my whole rant, a detached look on his face almost like he was gathering evidence. It would be unsettling if I wasn't already seething inside. After a moment he smiled softly, finishing his coffee.
“... I'm glad he found you.”
“... You're … glad?” I blinked slowly. After all I just said, I hadn't expected to hear that…
“Yes. I think you'll be good for him… I do hope you'll consider coming to the manor for dinner one of these days; I know the boys met you briefly, but the others are curious as well. Particularly since Damian spoke so highly of you.”
“... He did?”
Bruce nodded. “... In his way. He said you strike a fair bargain.”
“I see … Well, meeting everyone will depend mostly on Jason. I'm not opposed, but I'm also not going to push him. You shouldn't either.”
“... Damian was right.” Bruce smiled a little, sliding a business card across the table to me. “Please do call if I can do anything for you, or for Jason. He … he doesn't reach out to us very often, even when he probably should. … I worry.”
I took the card, nodding slowly. This was definitely the weirdest interaction I'd ever had in my entire life. “... Alright. I'll do that.”
Bruce dropped far more money on the table than was necessary for two coffees -for a moment I wondered if he even knew how much two coffees cost- and made his way to the door. In the next instant, Jason was crouching next to the table beside me.
“Babe?” He frowned, looking at the card in my hand. “… He gave you his personal line. … What did he say?”
“... Apparently Damian likes me?”
He chuckled a bit breathlessly. “... Of course the demon child likes you… what else?”
I stood, pocketing the card. “... My shift is over in an hour. Do you want to wait for me? We'll talk after.”
He groaned softly; “you’re really gonna make me wait?”
“We'll get those doughnuts you like on the way home.” I gently squeezed his hand. He sighed softly, but smiled, lifting my hand to his lips.
“You’re torturing me, Doll…”
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Spirit Work Basics
You voted, I listened. I meant it. So buckle up as we go through the basics of Spirit Work.
I've touched on this on other posts but I'll make a massive post here. This is not going to explain everything and will still be pretty broad. Cause I do not have the time, the knowledge, nor patience to try and explain EVERYTHING.
But I do hope it helps.
Look under the tags advice, spirit communication, spirit work for more detail.
So hello, I'm Sol. I've been working with spirits since I realized I was speaking with them. I had the gift since I was a young child, first spirit I saw being my grandfather on my father's side shortly after he passed away. He was a pastor, supposedly, I was doing the best I could to repeat his favorite verses despite me being a small little shit. I don't remember the verses, I do remember speaking to him a lot however.
Which is where we'll begin, how to speak to spirits.
Maybe she's born with it? Maybe it's insanity~♪
Well, how do we begin with speaking with spirits? There's a number of ways, actually. Some do have the natural ability, like myself but that shouldn't discourage people who are newly trying and don't have that natural affinity for it. Spirits can and will talk to anyone if you open yourself up. Just takes a bit of work. But Sol, you may ask, how do I do that?
If you've been on witchblr for a bit you know what I'm about to say next: Yup.
Meditate.
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Now listen, meditation is a way to open yourself up to the spirits around you or just at least signal "hey, I'm open to talk to." It gives you a good sense of your own energy and the energy around you. Meditation doesn't have one look either. A lot of people can't just sit still and kept their legs crossed or be on their knees with their eyes closed (I see you ADHD/ADD people). Hell, my lazy ass will meditate lying down.
Literally the definition of Meditation: to engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on one's breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness. transitive verb. : to focus one's thoughts on : reflect on or ponder over. (merriam webster)
It's pretty broad, right? Hell, you can even work out and meditate. I do it all the time. Cause I focus on my breathing and the feeling of energy through my body. Basically you can get creative with it.
While you're meditating, make sure you're feeling your own energy. This can come in a number of ways; waves, your heartbeat, a feeling of something cloaking you etc. While you have that feeling down, envision an opening, whether its a door, or just acknowledging you're reaching out to the other side. Whether or not you get an answer back, you are putting yourself out there and that's half the battle done. Just be sure to know how to close yourself and ward your body. Spirit work and opening yourself like that is no joke and I'd like you to be safe.
To do that, just envision whatever you had opened closed or recede back or whatever you used that worked for you.
Signs to Look for
Some of the more common tells of a spirit hearing and trying to communicate are of the following:
Small echos/voices in the back of your head
Random thoughts that may not be your own
Knocks or things shuffling
Strange dreams
Small phantom touches
Feelings of being watched
And Many More!
"But Sol," some of you might say, "that's really fucking vague and could just be explained away."
Yeah...welcome to spirit work. You thought this shit was easy?!
You have to work on your discernment. It is a skill needed for this type of work.
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Seems counterproductive, but it's not! See, if every bump and noise was reported as ghosts or spirits, well...we'd be even less believed than we already are. When doing spirit work, or ghost hunting, you are stuck with the burden of proof and it's a huge burden to have. This is why people ask for repeats of actions, to speak again in recorders and other things. We're asking for repetition, because science is prevalent, especially in spiritualism and occultism. We have to be our own skeptics so when we have something that can't be explained away, we truly have something to celebrate.
Tools on the Job
No one said you had to do this all on vibes. No shame in using tools. I'll more than likely take the time to make specific posts about each tool in the future cause this post is already really long but I'll give you a nice rundown of basic tools.
By the way anyone who tries to shame you for using tools or says "only trainee or baby witches use this or that" are tools themselves (not the good or useful kind) and should not be given the time of day. Tools are fine. Use them for help if you need it because that's what the fuck a tool is for.
Now these aren't all the tools you can use but I'll give you some well known ones. I've seen witches get real creative and it's honestly super cool watching them use strange things that you'd never think about as a witchcraft tool. But that's what makes it so fun.
Tarot cards
Tarot is something I often use. 78 cards all with different meanings. There's many many ways to interpret them and multiple themes that many of them have.
My best advice for these are to just look up the overall meanings both upright and reversed just to have a general consensus of each card. Play around with them a lot, and interpret them the way you would as if you were making a story with them. You can also use them for spirit communication.
Calling forth a spirit allowing them to touch the deck (just leave it for a moment and allow them to influence the deck as it were before doing the spread). Holds a lot of power in your hands but is a little slow.
Pendulum
A pendulum is usually a crystal tied to a string or a chain that can be swung over a board of either yes or no or maybe for its options. Sometimes there is a mock ouija for the pendulum to spell out things as well.
Cool thing about a pendulum is it can be anything that swings if you wish. Some people I've seen take off their necklace and use it as a pendulum just fine. Just have a singular point and you can get to work anywhere with it. Please make sure to ward yourself from invading or malevolent spirits when you do this though.
Lots of pendulum or spirit boards exist and have different templates as well.
This is more of a call and response type of device to use. Especially when you feel a spirit present Still has a fair bit of control in your hands.
Ouija board
The infamous kids game works around the same way a pendulum does, except there is a planchette that slides over the board. This is a call and response based tool much like a pendulum. However, it is a little easier for the ghost to manipulate and control. Which is where all the stupid stories of ghosts completely taking over and fucking up shit takes place. Also, half of the biggest problems are just humans being humans which means victims of groupthink. So... stupidity. Someone freaked so you all freak...the energy gets bad and shit happens. Do your best to remain calm and just work through it.
Also no. ZOZO XOX 2O2O etc does not want your ass. Many spirits claim that shit to get a rise out of you anyway. Guys...no, I swear it does not happen. This is main character energy that none of us have...or want! Even if a demonic entity came in to fuck with you, there are plenty of other ways to do it. Be fucking for real.
Please remain kind and courteous to who you contact. Do not let your paranoia about this tool make you do stupid things. Always say goodbye when you are finished. Try and stay as calm as you can.
Never. Ever leave the planchette on the board unattended. Lest you get an unwanted guest or one that'll overstay their welcome.
Crystal Ball
Crystal Balls are a good way to detect energies. This is normally used in a private setting cause it desires a lot of concentration. Now, I'm admittedly not that knowledgeable in this because I don't use my crystal ball often.
Also, your crystal ball doesn't have to be clear. Mine is obsidian and I love her.
When having your question, focus on it and concentrate. Make sure it is open ended. I mean you can have yes or no, but it's gonna be a bitch to decipher a yes or no answer.
Close your eyes and let the answers come to you in the forms of images and colors and such, examine all you can as just let your intuition work.
Sounds simple but its a rather interesting art form to work on. Symbols and such can confuse you and it's heavy on your interpretation. I'm sure there's books and stuff out there for a general view of this symbol you see might mean this or that but...largely, this is a true test of how you read your intuition.
I'd do it more, if I wasn't closeted and lived with nosy closed-minded people.
C'est la vie.
One important thing though...don't leave your ball uncovered. Especially if it's clear. That's how you end up with burned shit. Those bitches are like mega magnifying glasses. And it happens faster than you think. Science is scary.
Mirror/Water Scrying
Mirror and water scrying is kind of the same as a crystal ball except it's a quicker and often less expensive way to work on your divination.
Some people have a specific mirror that they black out and scry that way. Others have a scrying bowl made for divination alone. It's just as good. You can use any bowl or mirror however. Just be sure to cleanse the area before you start and after you're done.
Some thank the water used for divination before putting it down the sink or in the earth. But that's more of an individual's choice/belief/faith than anything else.
Lots of occultism and spiritualism has a thing with mirrors being portals, openings, etc to the otherside and can bring some unwanted visitors.
And as someone who now sleeps with their mirror facing the wall now, I will say I believe a lot of what people say on that.
I want a goodnights sleep damnit.
Just be sure to cleanse your tools after use. Better safe than sorry.
ETC.
There's a lot of creative ways people can use these tools and magic. So don't think of magic as a recipe for how to be a witch or do witchcraft. That's half the fun of witchcraft.
Discovery.
Finding ways to do things, to hear, to see, to communicate. Yes there are certain tools that work better than others but, we as individual people also work in different ways.
There's a psychic out there who reads asparagus like bones. There's someone who will scry with a puddle on the ground they found. People have their own methods and ways to work their magic and we should learn from them. So if you have some non normal tactic or even something unsual, embrace it to the fullest.
I divine with music. If you ask me it's Apollo's influence. My spirits communicate with music.
When I meet people and get a good vibe on them a song comes to mind, and even if I forget your face, your voice, who you are, that song will remind me what I think of you. Songs pop up in my head when people associated with it are close.
I'm not going to say I'm the only one in the world who does this, cause that would be some bs. But its my tactic and its natural.
Do what is natural for you and not what other witches say you should do.
Even me, I beg you not to try and emulate or follow my advice down to a T if it doesn't work for you. Don't force it to work.
I am just one person, one voice spouting some advice. Take what you can from it, take what helps and work your own path. And then in turn do the same. I'm a path offering person not a director. But that's...just...me...
"But Sol, how do I speak to spirits?"
Talk.
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Yeah, that simple. Talk.
This can be in a lot of forms. Some write and burn letters to ancestors, or past family members. Set up a placement for talking to them. Admittedly, a lot of spirit work and communication is experimental. We just warn you over some things because they've happened enough for us as a collective to go ah, a pattern.
I have urns at home so it's pretty easy to say hello in that case.
I am NOT telling you to go into a graveyard and just go wussap. No. Some spirits don't want your tomfuckery. Also if they're feeling really chatty all at once you might get overwhelmed and you will not have a good time. Read the dead room.
Open yourself up. WARD YOURSELF FIRST! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS. But yeah open yourself up. Learn how to open your pathways and close them first. That comes with meditating. Yes, this is why damn near all of us nag the shit out of y'all about meditating.
Just talk and listen. It won't happen immediately. It takes time and a careful ear. Remember signs to look for. You might spot them before you hear them. Small instances of shadows out the corner of your eye. A touch from nowhere, a shiver down your spine. Other things going off or being moved, etc. Slowly, someone or something will receive your message and try to respond in kind.
When you get these small responses, just keep calm and say hello or acknowledge what they've done.
"Oh, someone's here"
"Hello there"
"Are you still here?"
It'll be awkward (try to remember where you are, don't be a weirdo in public), but overtime you'll get better at it.
Conclusion!
Like any skill, spirit communication takes practice.
There are a vast plethora of ways to communicate with tools that I haven't mentioned as well, like automatic writing which is a pretty good beginner way to jump in.
Just have a pen/pencil on paper, write what comes to mind. Its a good way to practice hearing and catching signs as well.
And something I will never stop saying is you don't have to take this journey alone! Especially if you don't want to. Find someone experienced to start this journey with. Someone who calms you, who can support you. Support and asking for help is good. Last thing any of us want is for you to get hurt or scared out of doing this if this is something you really want to do. So call us, talk to us. Confide in more experienced people.
So many times on this site and other places, we are begging to form this beautiful network so we can help one another, give advice, hang out etc.
We are right here, just reach out for us. You'll get a hand back in kind.
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xetlynn · 7 months ago
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Twilight- Unknowing: Chapter Four, Beast of the Inbetween
(Alice x Reader x Jasper)
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[three] [four] [five]
Bella and I walk out of the house with Jacob behind us, him staying behind my sister.
"Whoever it was, he left his stink behind. It'll be hard to miss when we cross it again. We'll handle it from here." Jake boldly states.
"We don't need you to handle anything. Or anyone." Edward tells him, the werewolf steps toward him, attempting to get a reaction. Something he doesn't receive. "I could care less what you need." Jacob says.
"Alright we're done here." My sister's boyfriend announces. "No, you're done here." Jacob threatens him, Bella steps between them as I watch, amused of course.
"Stop, I'm tired of this. From now on, I'm Switzerland, okay?" She exclaims but it does nothing, the two get closer to one another.
"Stop!" Again, nothing. So this time I boredly tear them away from each other. Both stumbling.
"Listen to the girl you're both obsessed with, would you?" I give them dirty looks, confused with how stupid they're acting. "Thanks." She mutters.
"Mhm." I hum. "I don't expect you guys to chuck a football around together. Fine, but we have a lot of problems and this one is a temporary solution. Are you willing to at least try?" She explains herself and how they need to knock it off. Both of them stay quiet but then Edward nods, Jacob follows suit right after.
"Alright, so you need to coordinate. You know schedules and stuff." She tries to start off theconversation but they stay quiet. Bella looks over to me, defeated.
"What would the pack prefer, tantrum throwing toddler? Days or nights?" I place my hands on my hips. "Nights." Is all he answers with.
"Will days work for your family, angsty teen?" I turn to the guys who's supposedly going to be my future brother in law. He nods.
"See? How hard was that?" Bella asks them. She weakly smiles at me as I laugh to myself.
After getting away from that hot mess I finally got some relaxing time with my lovers, Alice and Jasper.
At our normal spot where we could be alone together in the woods. Both of them sat in front of me, Alice playing the grass as Jasper fidgeted with my hand.
"How come you two never told me that before you were vampires I was in love with you. Like deeply in love with both of you?" I question suddenly, it definitely being out of nowhere.
Both of them stayed silent at first so I went to apologize but Jasper's voice cut me off. "You had to figure it out on your own. Since you never mentioned it we didn't know how much you knew. What we could say and not say." He explained.
"We're sorry." Alice sincerely says but I shake my head. "Don't apologize." I take a deep breath in. "I just, I would like to hear your point of views on what I was like to you back then. I guess." I giggle softly, the three of us all adjust how we were sitting to be more comfortable.
"Since your first life was with me, I'll go first." Jasper grins, I watch as his dimples form and I smile back.
"Our families were close, when we got a little older they introduced us. Eventually we fell in love. You already know that though." He winks at me, I feel my face warm up but I nod for him to continue.
"You were my person, that's for sure. It was like we were conjoined at one point. You were devoted to the ones you loved. You were kind, you loved helping people, it just made me fall for you even more." I felt him stiff before he said his next sentence. "Then when I signed up for the war everything changed. You were angry, upset with me for doing it. You wanted me to be safe and at home with you and-" He pauses momentarily.
"And the baby you held in your stomach. Even though you were mad at me you wrote to me every day, until it stopped. The last letter I had gotten was that the baby was lively. Kicking a storm in your stomach. I wasn't even told if you were alive or not before I had turned." He closes his eyes, my hand grips his.
"I didn't know I was pregnant." I mumble, it was mainly me thinking out loud. But after it left my mouth Jasper looked right at me.
"You didn't know?" He repeats my question. "No, but it's okay. I feel like I remember it but it's far back in my memories." I explained, shrugging my shoulders. Alice took his hand into hers.
"Continue." I nudged him.
"Well after I turned I found out through Max, the wolf that imprinted on you. He somehow found me. Telling me that even though he imprinted on you nothing happened. You had no interest in him as he would've done anything for you. He explained that you were with soldiers that came through the village. Helping them with something out in the desert field." He tells the story and it brings me back to when I was bit by James.
When my memories flooded back and I was searching for Jasper. I had thought he was with the soldiers. Then havoc struck and some thieves or something came about. I was shot and that's all I remember. I didn't remember having a baby in my stomach though. But thinking about it now. It's all I seem to see in my head.
"I was shot in that desert." I cut him off. Alice and Jasper glanced up at me.
"That's the first memory I ever had from my past life the first time." I tell them.
"When I found out I snuck out from where Maria had us staying, being a newborn vampire it was difficult but I did it. I found the man that killed you. You don't understand the torture I put him through." Jasper painfully admits, I furrow my brows. I can tell he doesn't want me to know though.
"Let's talk about something else." He says.
"Well, since we were speaking about babies a little bit. I uh, I remember giving birth to a boy. You were all there, we seemed close but I wasn't in love with either one of you." I tell them, thinking back to how I was married and telling Rosalie and Alice the news in a bathroom or something.
"That was rough to sit and watch." Jasper looks down. Alice closes her eyes, nodding in agreement.
"You were engaged before we met you. You told us that we seemed familiar. Carlisle wasn't exactly happy for us staying in your life like we did. Neither was Rosalie particularly happy about it but when you got introduced to them it was as if you knew them too." Alice explains. I remember going to the market with just Rosalie, a memory sparking in my mind. How excited she was for me when I told her I was pregnant.
I remember telling the family they were aunts and uncles. How I thought of them as best friends, even family after knowing them for two-three years. They attended my wedding. The memories were little flashes. Like I was thinking about my childhood.
"Wasn't hard to watch me be in love with someone else?" I ask them. Jasper does a short nod, his face grimacing.
"You have no idea." He chuckles. "But you were happy and that's all that mattered to us." He kisses my hand, keeping it in his hold.
"It was more difficult after you gave birth. You passed from childbirth. We wanted to change you right then and there but that was a selfish thought. Even though beforehand you had told the nurses about your past lives. Whispering how you needed to see us." Alice's voice was soft, I can tell it was hard for both of them to remember these things.
I remember the childbirth, only getting to hold my baby for five minutes before it all went downhill. My husband's horrified face. It's weird being technically 17 and being older in past lives. Living through adult things and going back down to a teen. Who is now forever a teen, even in past lives I never made it past 22 years old.
"Your son was a sweetheart. We stayed to help your husband until your baby was 4. He found another woman. She was good to both of them. We kept tabs on them, making sure no one hurt either one of them." Alice smiles at the memory. I felt myself grin as well, grateful to know that they lived a good life. Something I don't think I ever really had.
"I would love to share my life with you but there's things that I don't want to talk about." Alice begins to talk, my eyes shift over to her form. She's been in her head this whole time and I can tell. I give her a small smile when she makes eye contact with me.
"That's alright, we have infinity together for you to be ready to talk about it." I remind her, pulling her into a kiss. I feel her hand grip onto my bicep.
I smirk, opening my eyes to look down at the hand. We gently push away from each other.
"You've been very handsy lately." I announce out loud, Jasper laughs. "What? I feel like I'm always handsy." She disagrees with me, I look over to Jasper who puts his hands up in defense.
"You're not going to have my back, Jasper?" She exclaims in shock, her hand still dragging down my arm.
We just stare at her, watching her get all flustered until finally she sighs out. "Okay, fine. Ever since you became a hybrid, your muscles are distracting." She avoids eye contact with me now, I tilt my head, smirking at this new found information.
"Oh, you like these muscles?" I pull the short sleeves up over my shoulders and flex both my arms. Showing them off to my partners.
Kissing at my biceps. She shoves me backwards playfully. "You're annoying." She groans, hiding her face in her hands.
"Mmm, I don't think I am." I get closer to her, purposely flexing my arms as I do so. I gently take her face in my hands and forcefully kiss her once again.
"Hey, I feel a little left out." Jasper quietly speaks up after a few moments. We stop to look at him, then look at each other before pouncing on him.
It of course comes to an end when I have to join Bella to the Rez so the rest can have their night to hunt.
At the edge of the forest I look at my lovers, Alice has a hair strand out of place that I know later Jasper and I are going to hear about and how we should've told her. I smile to myself.
I join Bella, Jacob and Edward in their weird divorce parent looking handover of their lover girl. Who is also my sister and I have to be a part of this weird bullshit.
"Doesn't he own a shirt?" Edward questions aloud.
"I'm good here, you should go." Bella tells the vampire, he pulls her closer. "I'm not going to be long." He whispers to her. I roll my eyes, looking away from the sight. "Don't rush. You need to hunt." Bella tells him.
He then grabs her into a long, nasty sounding kiss. I know it's to purposely piss off the wolf across from us. I chuckle to myself. He pulls away.
"Maybe you rush a little bit." My sister teasingly tells him.
She takes my hand and walks us over to Jacob. I look back at Edward and give him a thumbs up while making a "I'm proud of you" face.
Jacob pulls Bella into a hug having her let go of my hand.  "Hey, beautiful." Nice game, Jakey.
"Hi." Bella smiles.
Edward's car speeds down. "So, whaddaya wanna do today, Swans? Bike, hike, hang? Your call, but we're going to a party tonight." Jacob tells us, opening the door for us in his truck. Of course Bella gets in the middle.
"You sure this is okay? I really hate being a party crasher." Bella nervously looks around her as I am mentally freaking out. "Yeah dude, I definitely should not be here." I chime in.
"Technically, you're both council meeting crashers, see the council leaders, dad, quil's grandpa, sue clearwater. She took over for Harry when he died." Jacob informs us, completely ignoring what I said.
"Okay, we should not be here." Bella puts our steps to a halt. "You're okay. I thought, I mean they thought it would be good for you two to hear the histories." He points mainly to his dad who was already staring at us. "The histories? The tribe's histories? Aren't they secret?"
"We all got a role to play. And you're a part of this. [Name]'s a huge part of this. I mean, it's the first time Seth, Leah and Quil are hearing them, too. But you are the first outsider. Ever. [Name] is not much of an outsider." He glances at me and I press my lips together tightly.
"If I had have known that, I wouldn't believe you. And would've dressed better." Bella sighs, picking at her clothes.
"Jake." Seth, a boy I've sort of met before trots up to us like a little excited puppy. You can tell he idolizes Jacob.
"Hey, it's about time you got here. Paul's been hoovering the grub. But I saved you some burgers." Set tells him with a toothy grin.
"Good looking out, bro. Bella this is Seth Clearwater. Leah's brother. Newest member of the pack." Jacob introduces them.
"Newest, bestest, brightest." Seth gloats.
"And slowest." Jacob grabs the boy in a headlock, the two tumble to the sand. Seth laughs, I smile at the sight.
As kids when I came up here without Bella. He looked up to Jacob then too. Seth always wanted to play with us.
A whistler comes from the circle.
"Come on. Your dad's about to start." Seth says, slightly out of breath. "Alright." Jacob pats him. The boy looks at me with a certain expression. His eyes widen once he realizes who I am.
"[Name]." He mutters out and I give him a small nod.
"The Quileutes have been a small tribe from the beginning." Billy starts as we all sit around the fire.
"But we've always had magic in our blood." I look around at everyone's faces. Their attention wholly being on Billy.
Sam was an exception, his eyes laid on me. My upper lip twitched in realization. I shift in place, fixing my attention back to the commanding chief.
"We were great spirit warriors... shape shifters, that transform into the powerful wolf. This enabled us to scare off our enemies and protect our tribe." He explains.
"One day our warriors came across a creature.." His eyes then met mine and I wanted to shrink into a bug at that moment. "It looked like a man, but it was hard like stone and cold as ice." I shivered from the words, feeling the heat of the fire but thinking of my lover's cold feeling, especially from earlier.
I shook my head from the thoughts that erupted in my mind. "Our warrior's sharp teeth finally tore it apart but only fire would completely destroy it." I think back to when I was a wolf. The feeling of the sharp teeth in my mouth.
"They lived in fear, the Cold man was not alone. And they were right."
"She took her vengeance out on the village. Our elder chief. Taha Aki was the only spirit warrior left to save the tribe after his son was killed. But it wasn't only the beautiful thing that was angered. She had a beast with her. Once that was stuck in between worlds as both combined. She had been spying on the village pretending to be with the wolves. Turning into one the village believed they could trust her. She turned on them when the cold woman came to take her vengeance." Everyone's eyes glanced at me and I felt the heat of the fire engulf me.
"Taha Aki's wife could see that he would lose. "
"The third wife of Taha was no magical being, no special powers but one...Courage." Billy said in a powerful tone.
The third wife's sacrifice distracted the cold woman, and beast of the inbetween, long enough for Taha Aki to destroy them. She saved the tribe." I felt something on my neck, it was a quick sharp pain and then a hot burning sensation around my body.
I was shocked that they could easily kill the monster who I am now. I thought I was more invincible than I really am.
"Over time, our enemies have disappeared but one remains, the Cold Ones. The Beast of the Inbetween comes and goes. Sometimes an enemy. Other times...an ally." His eyes stare into me.
"Our magic awakens when they near. And we sense it now, we feel the threat in our blood. Something terrible is coming and we must all be ready. All of us."
Sorry for the late ass post. No excuses just had no energy to write lmao!!!
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My neighbor Sangwoo
Sangwoo x Reader
Warnings: Sangwoo is a warning himself, but no smut if that's what you're worried about! Though I can make one with smut! MINORS DNI
"Don't you think us being seen together is gonna cause problems?"
"What? You really think I care about that?" Sangwoo said, quirking a smug eyebrow. Hands held in big pockets while towering over you. Closer than you were comfortable with, as your back was pressed against his driver side door.
You didn't know how you found yourself in this position. One minute, you were leaving your small two bedroom house for the bus stop, with your neighbor Sangwoo following you down the road with his grey car, tailing slowly right next to you. Pestering to give you a ride to your shared campus, like some creep.
And the next, you were here. Backed onto the side of his car door, on said campus grounds.
You smacked your teeth while looking away, trying to hide your face in the confines of your hoodie.
"C'mon. I thought you were supposed to be this cool, cold-blooded chick who'd never care what people think?"
You shoved your hands in your pockets, still looking away from his cocky smirk. Of course, you cared what people think. Especially with your livelihood involved.
"It's not about that. I can walk myself to class, you know." You said, slightly irritated. He promised to leave you alone after the ride, and yet here he was pestering you for more. Attention? Reaction? Who knew? It was funny to you, really. He was the one who was kind enough to drive you with him to your classes, and yet he's offered you a lot of things as if you had done him the favors.
Him walking you to class was the last straw, though. The one thing you could do without were rumors, and the people of Korea loved to talk.
Surely, he couldn't be this oblivious.
"You don't want to be seen with me." You stated calmly. Warm breath flowing out into the cold air.
"Look at us. We're two completely different people. I'll just make you look bad."
It wasn't a lie. You were both total opposites, and you were far from what Sangwoo would consider his type. Why was he so persistent in keeping up with you? He couldn't say. He didn't know if he found you worthy of a kill yet either, and he definitely wasn't trying to have a quick fuck.
So why?
"Do yourself a favor, quit hanging on my arm."
Your voice cut into his internal thoughts.
What?
He was starting to get pissed. Who did you think you were? Giving him orders. Especially like that.
Sangwoo did what he wanted when he wanted no matter how unconventional, whether people knew about it or not.
He waited for you to add on, though. Smirk decreasing ever so slowly, as your words processed in his mind. Dark and gloomy eyes following your every movement.
"At least think about me. You're the most wanted and respected guy on this campus. The girls will be giving me a hard time, while the guys are gonna assume the worst, I can only imagine what would happen to you viewed in the same light."
You smiled while looking up at him, hands still in pockets.
"No offense, but I can never seem to catch a break with the people of Korea." You said jokingly. Your Korean coming out perfectly with a slight accent.
How ironic.
You were a foreign loser with no breathtaking attributes. You were the same as everyone else, and yet you were no one. Possibly worse. Even he knew it.
You began to walk off without another word, hands balled up to fists in your pockets as you felt your throat start to burn and vision blur with unwanted liquid.
Fuckin' grief. Not now. Not in front of him. You didn't know why you were getting so worked up anyway. It's not like you liked him. Not even in the slightest.
Must have been the weather.
Somewhere in between, rough and gentle, were you immediately pulled back by your arm, hands still in pockets as you were gently slammed back into the car door. Sangwoo's hand still gripping the top of your arm. Thankfully, the threat of tears had stopped by then.
"Your dress attire may be hot garbage, along with your pessimistic attitude--but to me, I've never met anyone more worth it."
Is what he wanted to say. Is what he could have said.
Sangwoo has never ever been cowardly when it came to spewing out false compliments. Especially towards women.
But you were different, and these compliments were not false.
You did all things opposite from the women he would take home and dissect.
You were considerate, but not so much where you'd disregard yourself. You were funny without even trying. You found no reason in speaking if there was nothing to speak on, enjoying the slience any chance you got. Someone he related to, and to top it all off,
You were the only girl on this dammed campus that didn't want him. Romantically or platoniclly.
And for some reason, some odd, specific reason, he loved it.
He didn't want to admit it, but you were the most interestingly beautiful living thing he's ever wanted to be around and not kill.
Going out of his way, any chance he got to be near you to annoy you. To make you laugh. To piss you off, but not so much to where he'd hurt your feelings.
That's how he knew he was truly wiped for your attention. Sangwoo was the king of hurt. Feelings. Emotional. physical. Mental. It's what he did. But when it came to you, he couldn't find one violent bone in his body. As cliche as it sounds, you take those bad thoughts away.
It was in the movies, the romance novels, the TV shows. Sangwoo witnessed it all. There is always that special someone for everyone who took it all away. Made it better, but never did he believe it. He laughed at the idea. Someone for everyone? His ass.
He never thought meeting someone who did that for him would be possible.
To him, you were like a breath of fresh air in a sea--no, swamp of men and women who all had the same stench.
He couldn't say that these feelings he harbored were romantic, but he wouldn't mind it. Then again, how would he know? He's never had a crush or a true friend.
Would it hurt if you were both, though?
You're staring up at Sangwoo surprisingly. Eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and eyes blown wide as his right-handed grip on your upper right arm never loosened.
Whatever he was thinking about had him lost in thought as his eyes never broke away from yours. Slight blush on his face, but you chopped it up to the cold weather.
You began to speak, ready to tell him to let you go, but he beat you to it.
"Man, you're a pain in my ass. Quit saying retarded stuff, and let's get to our classes."
He said tiresomely. Yanking your arm slightly forward while he walked. Pulling you close to his side, as he threw his arm around your shoulders after pushing down the hoodie that obscured your face, much to your refusal.
Now, the whole world could see who he was walking with, and anyone who had anything to say could choose to speak then and forever hold their busted jaw in pieces.
Thanks for the read! First time posting fanfic on Tumblr!
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publicaccessgirl · 3 months ago
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Top 5 taboo fantasies you’ve imagined doing in front of an audience?
I don't have the sort of sense of shame that taboo requires, so I'm just gonna list my audience fantasies and you can judge them yourself
Being at a bar/pub and there's a stool for me with a dildo attached. Everyone at the venue knows and they all watch me slide myself slowly onto it. People who chat to me will bump into me and make me wobble so I have to clench down and get my balance. People will buy me drinks and hold them out of reach so I have to stand up to accept it, then sit back on the dildo. That sort of thing
Getting assaulted on the train and keeping quiet cos I'm embarassed, but some people do notice. Some look disgusted and judge me, others join in and grope me. I end up coming on my rapists dick in front of everyone, trying so hard to stay quiet. There's definitely anal in this fantasy
I want to have a hook up back at his place but I don't know he's streaming it online. So like, I'm not performing at all. But he's taking requests I don't know about and there's hundreds of strangers arranging how we fuck. He doesn't take no for an answer so he's not asking, he just suddenly starts spanking my ass while I ride him or he shoves my panties in my mouth or at some point he fucks my ass dry and like I'm not into all of it but he's barely paying attention and doesn't stop and I'm into enough that I don't question things and I never notice we're being filmed
Being in a semi professional setting, like a work Christmas party or a conference or something, and an ex is there. He's telling a group all sorts of shit I'm into, completely embarassing me and exposing my secret kinks. I leave the event to preserve my dignity and a few colleagues follow and group rape me in the car park. I'm the office free use slut for them, so long as they can keep it secret from management
I love medical inspection stuff that's not intended to be sexual, like, being strapped down for a pap smear when my doctors like "oh my students are here early, I'm just gonna invite them in to learn" and they all get a chance to try inserting the pap smear spreader thing and some a really rough and haven't done it before and I get so fucking turned on by it. They decide to learn about breast exams next and every one of them feels my breasts so roughly and I'm just a mess and trying not to be obvious about it
Tit pic for a top 5 ask xx
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helloalycia · 1 year ago
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the Clarks [five] // alicia clark
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summary: you go on a supply run with Alicia and things don't go to plan, leaving her extremely pissed off at you. It takes a reality check for you to understand why.
warning/s: mentions of the dead, injuries, weapons and violence.
author’s note: and this is the final part! such a fun one to write and i do hope the person who requested it liked it! kinda went overboard but you all know the drill with me by now 😂
one / two / three / four / masterlist / wattpad
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After being busied by chores and odd jobs around the stadium and then eating lunch, it was soon time to go on the supply run with the others. Alicia and I met the other two residents by the truck out front and we all made sure we were armed before heading out.
"This strip mall we're heading to should be clear enough, but we haven't had a team check it out in a while, so everyone be on high alert," Alicia warned everyone on the drive over. "Only go after the essentials, if there's any left. Ideally, some more clothes and shoes – stuff like that."
Everybody agreed, a focus in mind, and it was silent the rest of the way. Eventually, we arrived at the abandoned strip mall and Alicia pulled up, the four of us splitting into twos. They took to one side as Alicia and I took to the other.
Unfortunately for me, my thoughts were still on Rick and Alicia earlier, their flirting engraved in my mind and my jealousy still in full throttle. I couldn't help but bring it up.
"So, Madison and I were talking about the new residents earlier," I started, trying to make it sound natural. "Lots of good people joining us, don't you think?"
Alicia hummed as she kept her eyes peeled. "Sure is. It's amazing how big our little community has become."
I nodded in agreement, my grip on my knife tightening. "Yeah. New girl Sally is pretty friendly. Her kid's cute, too."
"Aw, yeah, he's adorable!" Alicia agreed with a smile.
"Yeah... there's Rick, too. What do–" I cleared my throat nervously. "What d'you think of him?"
She thought to herself, distracted by looking into the shop windows. "He's nice enough, I suppose. A bit too flirty for my liking, but nice. Definitely skilled with a knife."
What did that mean? She didn't like his flirty-ness? She did? God's sake, I needed more than that.
"Why? Did he say something?" she asked with confusion, glancing over at me.
I perked up, meeting her confused eyes. "What? No, no. Just wondering. I, er, thought the same."
She began to smile, unsure what I was doing, but nodded. "Right... weirdo."
Thankfully, she got distracted by a small thrift store and nudged me to follow her, and the conversation was dropped. There was lots of options to pick from, since it wasn't looted to the bare bones like other stores were, so we gathered what we could and loaded the truck.
Between that and the few others store, we managed to gather quite a few supplies, odd assortments of things but all that would benefit the stadium in the long run. As we were heading back to the truck, Alicia slowed down to look in the window display of a jewellery store. It looked pretty banged up on the inside, no doubt one of the first places to be looted back when the outbreak began, but Alicia was still intrigued.
"There's probably nothing worthwhile in there," I told her, but she was still up close to the glass, smiling at the rings on display.
"It's still pretty to look at," she pointed out lightheartedly, shooting me a smile before returning her attention to the rings.
Something about how excited she was for the moment made me smile to myself and I couldn't just leave it like this. She clearly wanted it.
"Then what are we waiting for?" I suddenly said, straightening up and going to the door.
There was a couch blocking the doorway, clearly put there by whoever had been here last, but it wasn't going to stop me. I began to lean against it in an attempt to push it out the way.
"Y/N, what are you–? Stop it, what if there's someone in there?" she followed after me, half scolding me and half worried.
"Only one way to find out," I said with a shrug, before finding enough strength to shove the couch forward, and it hit the tiled floor with a loud bang.
"Y/N," Alicia groaned at all the noise, but I ignored her and stepped over the couch to let myself in, before yanking open the other door so she wouldn't have to.
"After you," I said playfully, stepping to the side.
She fixed me with a disapproving stare but walked in, looking around. It was ransacked in there, as expected, but there were a few pieces of jewellery still on the shelves. We took a look around, Alicia warming up once she studied the displays. I could have watched her all day, the beautiful smile on her lips that matched the dazzle in her eyes. Seeing her happy was my favourite thing, as lame as it sounded.
"Okay, maybe you weren't that stupid to come in here," she admitted as we looked around.
"Let's not forget why we came here in the first place," I said with a smile, before leading her to the display window. "This one, right?"
I pulled out the ring from the display, a simple silver band with a gemstone embedded within the the metal. Holding it out to her, I tried to put it on her finger, but it was huge and would have fallen right off if I didn't catch it.
"Well, that was short lived," she said with a sigh, before trying not to laugh as she met my eyes. "Thanks anyway, Y/N. It was a sweet thought."
Unimpressed, I shook my head. "No way. That can't be it." I looked around, before my eyes fell to the stock room in the back. "Aha! There's gotta be more stuff back there. Let me have a look."
"Y/N.”
"Just give me a sec," I told her, before taking the ring with me and heading to the door.
Luckily, it was unlocked and I was able to walk right into a small closet-sized space that had an old, wooden shelf against one wall, full of stock.
"Alicia, I might need you to help me because there's a–" I began to call to her, but I was cut off by intense snarling from my right, and then something grabbed me.
I let out a yelp when I realised it was an infected man, the limited light from the front of the store shining through the door and letting me see his horrendous face. He must have been hiding behind a shelf, too late for me to see, and I struggled against him in the small space.
"Y/N!" I heard Alicia call, but I couldn't reply because if I moved my attention away for even a second, I was sure I'd get bitten.
He was so close to me – hot breath and rancid smell blinding me and burning my nose – that I couldn't find an opening to stab him with the knife in my hand. As I took a swing, he toppled right into me, knocking me backwards and to the floor with a thud. My head took the brunt of it, dazing me momentarily, but the snapping face coming at mine brought me back to reality and I just about managed to grab my knife again, stabbing him in the head before he could do any damage.
A second passed and his snarling ceased and I sighed with relief, feeling dizzy in the head. That's when I heard the creaking coming from my feet, and when I shoved the infected off my body, it was too late. The shelf against the wall suddenly toppled over, everything falling off and hitting the floor around me before the heavy shelf itself landed right on my leg, making me scream at the impact.
"No, no, no, no," Alicia suddenly appeared, taking in the scene, before scrambling for her radio and calling the others. "Guys, I need you at the jewellery store now! Y/N's hurt."
I forced myself to sit up, wincing at the shelf that was trapping my leg, and didn't move another muscle because it was too painful.
"You're such an idiot!" Alicia shouted at me, before kneeling down to grab the shelf. "I told you not to come here!"
As she attempted to lift it, I let out another shout of pain because she wasn't strong enough by herself and it was only making it worse. My leg was definitely broken and I wanted to throw up at how strong the pain was, but I forced my eyes shut and tried to push it away.
"You're so fucking stupid!" she continued to curse me out, but the worry in her voice was obvious. "I told you there'd be infected here!"
As much as I loved a good grilling, my head was still throbbing from before and I was still feeling dizzy, leaning on my arm to steady myself in the spinning room.
Finally, the others turned up and, between the three of them, they managed to lift the shelf up long enough for me to crawl out of it. My leg was definitely fucked though.
Alicia rushed to my side to help me stand, but I was nauseous as soon as I did and couldn't say anything for fear I'd throw up there and then.
"You didn't get bitten, right?" she asked, panicked and checking my face and neck.
I shook my head slowly, leaning my weight against her. "I think I'm gonna pass out, Alicia..."
"Help me get her to the truck," Alicia ordered the others.
After making it back to the truck, just about, we drove back to the stadium speedily, each slight bump making my stomach turn and head throb. Before I knew it, I was in the medbay back at the stadium, being sat upright on a bed and struggling to ease the dizziness.
"Is she gonna be okay?" Nick asked a nurse we had.
A bright light was shone in both my eyes, irritating me, and then the nurse replied, "She's got a mild concussion. Possibly a broken leg. But she'll live."
Nick grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently, and then my moment of peace was ruined when Alicia burst through the door with Madison in tow.
"You fucking fool!" Alicia suddenly snapped at me, glaring ferociously. "You could have died! And for what?! A fucking ring?!"
I winced at every word, her words ringing in my ear.
"She's concussed, Alicia," Nick told her sternly. "You're not helping!"
Alicia clenched her jaw, eyes full of tears, and after glaring at me once more, she left the room, slamming the door behind her. I jumped at the sound, surprised at how angry she was at me. Nick gave me a disapproving look but said nothing, and all I kept thinking was how badly I'd messed up.
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After being checked out by the nurse fully and having some medication, I fell asleep with a broken but bandaged leg that I couldn't put weight on for a while. I woke up to Nick by my side, who immediately gave me some water and helped me sit upright.
The look he was giving me wasn't easy to ignore, so after downing my pills, I returned his stare.
"What?"
He blinked. "Y/N, what happened out there? Alicia is pissed."
I sighed, Alicia's angry expression imprinted in my mind. "We were at a jewellery store and I went in the back. There was an infected I didn't see, that's all. It got out of hand, but I handled it."
"Handled it?" he asked with exasperation. "You broke your leg and got a concussion!"
"Only a mild concussion," I corrected, before adding, "and I'm alive, aren't I?"
He shook his head, annoyed. "You have to be careful, you idiot. Your life isn't worth some stupid jewellery. Why were you even in there? We don't need that stuff here."
Feeling bad for worrying him, I said, "Alicia wanted to look and I just– I thought it would be nice, y'know? Make things feel a little normal again."
He sighed, his head in his hands. I frowned slightly, the guilt sinking in.
"Is she still mad? I asked, hoping she'd have cooled off by now.
"Uh-huh."
I chewed on my lip nervously, wondering how I'd get her to forgive me. Nick left to go and get Madison, who wanted to be called in when I'd woken up, and I hoped Alicia would stop by, too. But the blonde turned up alone.
"Madison," I breathed out, still happy to see her, even though she didn't look impressed.
"I'll save you the lecture," she began, taking my hand in hers, "but it was pretty stupid."
"I know," I agreed tiredly. "I'm sorry."
To my relief, she really did save me the lecture, instead squeezing my hand comfortingly.
"Is, er, is Alicia coming?" I asked lamely. "I wanted to apologise to her."
Madison smiled apologetically. "Maybe not so soon, hon. She's really angry."
"Right. I guess that's fair."
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I had hoped to see Alicia over the next day when I was kept in the medbay, expecting her to at least visit me, even if it was just to shout at me, but she didn't. It stung a little, but I also felt horrible knowing that I'd pissed her off this much.
When I was finally allowed to leave, with the aid of some crutches, the first place I headed was to Alicia's quarters to pay her a visit. I knocked on nervously, anticipating what could happen, and then the door opened to reveal the Clark girl.
"Hey, remember me?" I joked, hoping to lighten the mood, and she simply rolled her eyes, about to close the door in my face.
"Wait!" I said, sticking my crutch in the way, and she stopped.
"What?" she snapped, green eyes darkened with fury.
Losing my humour, I met her eyes. "You didn't visit me."
"If I did, I would have strangled you."
Licking my lips at the awkwardness, I said, "Alicia, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. But I thought you'd at least–"
I went quiet. Well, I thought she'd at least visit. She'd never been this mad before, not at me and not for something so minor. And the longer I fell quiet, the more her jaw clenched and she stared daggers into my eyes.
"Can we please just forget it happened?" I asked instead. "Move on?"
Without another second wasted, she said, "Whatever," then closed the door in my face.
I stared at it in awe, stunned at her behaviour. How could she still be mad at me, even after apologising?
Unsure what else to do, I left her place to go and sulk in the stadium's stands which were empty. What else could I possibly do for Alicia to forgive me? I understood I worried her, but I literally apologised and I was okay! She'd never been so mad at me before...
As I got lost in thoughts of the green-eyed girl, sulking and thinking and wondering what I could do, I almost missed Madison finding me and joining my side.
"You seen Alicia?" she asked, knowing I was going to talk to her daughter earlier. "How'd it go?"
I shook my head, still surprised at what occurred. "Not good at all. She's still so angry and I just– I don't understand why! It was an accident, Madison, and I apologised!"
Madison glanced at me from the seat beside me, quirking a brow, and I was even more confused.
"What?" I asked. What had I missed?
She sighed heavily, earning my attention, and looked me in the eyes. "Y/N, hon, I'm saying this with love," she started, "but you're so blind to what's in front of you."
Blind, and apparently lost too since I had no idea what she was talking about. She must have noticed, as she rolled her eyes with impatience.
"Alicia cares about you," she said in a knowing tone.
"I know that."
Closing her eyes with pursed lips, she waited a moment before clarifying, "No. She's in love with you, Y/N. She's been in love with you since you were kids. Of course she's angry, but she's mostly hurt. You almost died over something so stupid! Why else would she be like this?"
My jaw dropped as I stammered to find words. "What? She– what– how do you know that?"
Alicia being in love with me? There was no way that could be true. I refused to believe it.
"I know my daughter, very well," she said like it was obvious, before resting a hand on my knee. "And I know you, too. You feel the same, Y/N."
Immediately growing flustered, I avoided her eyes. She knew? How the hell did she know? I was certain I'd hidden it well. I couldn't have hidden it better!
Oh, God, she knew I was in love with her daughter.
"Hey, don't be embarrassed," she suddenly said with a quiet laugh, "it's okay!"
Horrified, I swallowed hard, knowing my face felt as hot as the sun right now. What did I even respond to that?
"I did think you'd have said something to her by now," Madison added. "It's a lot, I know. But, maybe, it's time you came clean and reassured her. Because, quite frankly, I'm sick of watching you both not do anything about it."
If Madison was right about me being in love with Alicia, then surely she was right about Alicia being in love with me? And if that were true, then... holy shit. I guess it made sense why Alicia was so angry at me – or upset, I now realised.
I couldn't find words, not when the confession was shocking me to the core, so I simply nodded slowly in response. At least Madison seemed to be okay with it, the whole me liking her daughter thing.
"You're gonna be fine," she assured me with a small smile, before squeezing my knee and getting up. "I'll leave you to it. Remember to rest your leg, Y/N."
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It took me a while to accept the fact that maybe Madison had been right, myself reliving every interaction I'd ever had with Alicia since I met her, overanalysing and trying to gauge whether she may have cared about me like I did her. Two days to be exact, in which Alicia avoided me completely.
When I finally decided enough was enough, I went straight over to visit Alicia with the hope of finding enough courage to either tell her how I felt or get it out of her first. Clearly I was too scared to tell her myself all these years, so I wasn't too convinced it would go to plan.
I found her at her quarters again, an old dugout converted into a room for her, and knocked on as confidently as I could muster. As soon as she opened the door, her expression hardened and she narrowed her eyes at me.
"I just wanna talk," I said before she could think to close the door on me.
"About what exactly?" she asked, her anger still as fresh as it was from two days ago. "About how idiotic you were trying to get a ring?"
Remaining calm, I said, "I just wanted to get it for you, Alicia. Give you a sense of normalcy again and–"
"I didn't ask you to do that!" she exclaimed, before scoffing at me angrily and walking further into her room.
Reluctantly, I stepped inside and tried to defend myself. "I know you didn't, but I wanted to! You seemed to like the display and I thought–"
"I don't give a fuck about a ring!" she shouted, glaring at me, and this time her hurt was present. "It wasn't worth dying over! I care if you're fucking alive! That you're safe!"
The guilt returning yet again, I nodded in understanding. "You're right. I get it. I'm sorry, Alicia."
"No, you don't get it," she retorted, frustration being replaced with worry. "D'you know how– how scary it was watching you back there? Hearing you scream and then seeing you– fuck! Seeing you look so– so fragile? And now look at you! Walking on fucking crutches!"
I chose to stay quiet as she continued to rant, my guilt deepening as she spoke her fears aloud.
"You can be so careless sometimes!" she added, a frown on her lips and glassy eyes darting between mine. "Though, I suppose that's why you're Nick's friend, right? He does the same fucking thing!"
"I won't do it again," I promised her. "I'll think next time."
"Yeah, I hope so," she said bitterly, crossing her arms.
I watched her closely, searching for a semblance of what I hoped to find. "I didn't think you cared so much."
My nerves were creeping in and I so desperately hoped she'd admit her feelings first, so I wouldn't have to.
She looked at me, face flushing shyly before looking away and playing it cool. "Of course I do. You're family. And Nick's best friend."
I waited momentarily, wanting her to say it, but she didn't. And I foolishly couldn't. I was too scared to put myself out there, even after all this time.
Unable to hide my frown, I nodded. "That it?"
She met my gaze, confused. "What else?"
Now it was my turn to grow shy and embarrassed, and I looked away, feeling a little humiliated. It wasn't Alicia's fault at all – she couldn't help how I felt. And maybe Madison had gotten it wrong.
Changing the subject, I shook my head. "Never mind. Sorry again."
I turned to leave, feeling her eyes bore a hole in my back, and somehow I knew that when I walked out of this door, there would never be another chance to tell her how I felt. After all this time, even if she didn't feel the same, maybe I should have finally come clean like Madison said. If I did and we could get over it, maybe I could finally move on?
"Actually no," I said, suddenly feeling an adrenaline rush as I turned around to face her. "I'm not sorry."
She quirked a brow. "Excuse me?"
I sucked up a breath and held her gaze, despite a part of me wanting to leave and never speak again. "I'm not sorry. Not for trying to get that ring. For worrying you, yes, but not the ring."
"Wow, thanks," she said sarcastically, but I didn't let it get to me.
"You wanted that ring," I reminded her. "You looked in that store window and you saw something normal and I wanted to give it to you. I'm not sorry about that. I went in there for you and, yes, you didn't ask me to, Alicia, but you didn't need to. I wanted to! To make you happy, I would do anything. I thought you knew that by now, but maybe I didn't make it clear enough."
Her expression softened as her eyes widened slightly. "What are you saying?"
Now or never, right?
"I'm in love with you, Alicia," I stated with all the confidence left in me. "I have been, since we were kids and since I was old enough to know what love is. And I've been terrified to admit it aloud, especially to you, but I can't keep it to myself anymore. I didn't mean to worry your or upset you or make you so angry, you have to know that."
She didn't say anything as she seemed to digest my confession, and the longer she stared at me without any indication to how she was feeling, the more stupid I felt.
"I can get over it," I told her with a small smile, avoiding her eyes. "You don't need to take this on or anything. I just– I had to tell you. If I've made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry and you have every right to stop talking to me."
"No, just–" she started, and I held my breath as she struggled to speak. "You're in love with me?"
"...Yes."
"I'm in love with you," she admitted, and I could have sworn I misheard until she repeated, "I'm in love with you, too."
"You're in love with me."
"I am," she said softly. "Why didn't you– why didn't you say anything all this time?"
I raised my brows. "Me? Why didn't you?"
She scoffed. "Seriously? I'm your best friend's little sister. How was I supposed to?"
"Exactly," I agreed. "You're my best friend's little sister. How was I supposed to?"
Her eyes flickered between mine. "Like you did just now."
My heart was thumping so loudly I was surprised she couldn't hear it in the quiet of her room. Now what?
"I care about you a lot because I'm in love with you," she said, stepping forward and shakily lifting her hand to cup my cheek. "I don't want you doing stupid stuff that could get you killed. Especially not for me."
"If I had known it was dangerous, I wouldn't have gone in," I told her seriously. "I promised you I wouldn't leave you. I meant it."
She tensed her jaw as she lowered her hand, resting it on my shoulder. "I'm sorry I got so angry and upset. I shouldn't have reacted like that, especially after you got hurt. I just– seeing you like that and knowing it could have been worse, it just– It was frustrating. And I didn't know how to express that, not without revealing how I felt about you."
"Yeah, I kinda thought I fucked everything up when you didn't stop by for a visit," I said, in an attempt to lighten the mood, and it seemed to work as she cracked a small smile.
"I should have visited," she said apologetically. "And I should have told you how I felt."
"Me too," I said gently.
She looked at her hand on my shoulder, avoiding my eyes, and I couldn't stop staring at her as she did. She felt the same way. How could that be possible? How had I missed it?
"Now what?" she murmured.
"Now..." I paused, making her eyes flicker to mine momentarily, hopefully. And, still on a high from being able to admit the truth, I asked, "Can I kiss you?"
She pressed her lips together, nodding slowly, and then I leaned in before I could stop myself, wrapping my crutch and arm around her waist to pull her even close. Her figure fit perfectly in my arms; her lips were as soft as I could have imagined; her fingers left goosebumps across my skin where she caressed my cheek. This was all I'd ever wanted, and now I finally had it.
We pulled apart for air and I was afraid that if I opened my eyes, she wouldn't be there and I'd have imagined it all.
"Y/N?"
I opened my eyes, only to be submerged in golden-green. "Yeah?"
"Thank you."
I lifted an eyebrow. "For?"
She didn't falter as she said, "For being here for me all this time. For not leaving. For keeping your promise."
I stroked her waist with my thumb subconsciously, eyes flickering all over her face, committing it to memory, and then a smile curled on my lips. "You don't know how much you've done for me, do you? We're even, Alicia."
She began to smile too, making butterflies blossom in my chest, and then just like that, she pressed her lips to mine and I was in heaven once more.
Looks like Madison was right after all.
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that-basic-simp · 7 months ago
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Dance
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Mizu X Fem!Reader CW: N/A WC: 1.6k+
Sticking my finger in between the collar and my neck, I tried stretching the fabric out so I could have some breathing room. I let out a sigh as it was futile. Trying to blend in in London was a lot harder than it was in Japan. Maybe it was because I had to wear completely different clothing and still pretend to be a man as well, since women were treated practically the same as in Japan. Not to mention I was also half Japanese and raven black hair wasn't really common among the white folk. Brown was, but not black like mine. Not to mention I had to wear it down and not in my normal bun. I still stood out like a sore thumb, but at least my eyes kind of matched theirs.
Sighing, I looked at myself in the mirror that was in front of me. This ball, this dance I was attending apparently was where Skeffington was going to be. Fowler made sure of it. I still don't trust him. But if I am able to get to both Skeffington and Routely through Fowler, I might as well keep him alive. If I can get all three of them in a room together, that'll be even better. Three birds with one sword. Getting ready, I made sure I had my sword on me before giving myself one more glance in the mirror, catching something from the corner of my eye.
"Who's there?" I turned, my hand on the hilt of my sword.
Scanning the shadows, someone came out. They were wearing a poofy and long dress, similar to the ones I've seen the ladies wear here.
"Y/N?"
"Mizu," she smiled.
"W-What are you doing here? I thought you left Edo and went back with Ringo."
"Nope. I followed you."
"Why on Earth would you follow me?"
"You need someone to watch your back."
"I am more than capable of watching my own back, thank you very much."
"Mizu, this isn't Japan. You're in London."
"I am well aware of that."
"They have guns. You have a sword. They're technologically more advanced than you are right now. And right now," she pulled the dress back a bit, revealing a gun strapped to her thigh. "You're going to need all the firearms you can get. You will never raise a gun, I know that much."
"I did back at Edo when fighting Fowler."
"But did you shoot it?"
"No."
"Exactly. You use your sword and I will use the gun. Understood?"
I sighed. It's not like she can go back to Japan. I can't ensure her safety getting there either. So she had to stay with me. No. She has to stay with me. I can't afford to lose her.
"You stay beside me no matter what. Is that understood, Y/N?"
"Yes, Mizu."
"Good. I don't want you wandering anywhere without me."
She nodded her head. Letting out a sigh, I extended my arm out for her. Locking her one arm around mine, we walked out of the room and towards the ball down the street. It took a lot of negotiating and talking, but Fowler was able to ensure we got in without any trouble. This was definitely going to be an interesting night. I just hope it doesn't go to shit and one of ends up injured. If anyone was going to be injured, I was going to ensure it would be me. No one lays a hand on Y/N.
Stepping into the giant castle that held the dance, I found Y/N gasping from the corner of my eye. I couldn't deny it, this place was a sight to behold. A wonder in and of itself. It made the palaces and castles back in Japan look like a house. No wonder the white people wanted to have ballroom dances every so often. They had to get use out of it. Or else there would be nothing to fill this much empty space. There were people going around with trays in their hands, some drinks on them. Y/N was about to reach for one, but I stopped her.
"You're not going to like it."
"What do you mean?"
"We're not from around here. We need to blend in. And we won't blend in if we drink their drinks and be sick all night because of it. They don't drink sake. They drink some other form of alcohol that I am not familiar with."
"Come on, Mizu. We can't indulge ourselves every once in a while?"
"Back at home, yes. But we're not at home, are we, Y/N?"
"We'll be fine," she said, removing her arm from around mine and disappearing into the crowd.
"Y/N? Y/N?! Fuck!" I darted off into the crowd, trying to find her. It should be easy, since she wasn't anywhere near as tall as the people here.
Making my way through the crowd, I still kept an eye out for Skeffington. He was tall, so that was one thing that was going for me. Everyone here was tall, which didn't help. Almost bumping into everyone there, I eventually bumped into the right person. Well, one of them.
"Pardon me," a tall man said, smoothing out his suit.
Narrowing my eyes, it was him. It was Skeffington. Fowler described him perfectly and he matched every detail. The only thing that we had in common was our height, as Fowler stated back in Japan. Standing straight up, I stuck my hand out. Peering down, Skeffington shook it.
"Pleasure," I said.
"Night is wonderful, is it not?"
"I guess you could say that," I said, turning towards the crowd of people. He did the same.
"Who wouldn't love a dance tonight? It's a perfect night to do so," he chuckled, holding a glass of something that looked to be a yellow color.
"I'm sure there are other perfect nights," I said, trying to go along with him.
"There are, but tonight is especially perfect."
"What makes you say that? I think all nights are perfect."
"Well, there are reasons to celebrate."
"Celebrate what exactly?" I slowly turned towards him.
"Does there need to be a specific reason to celebrate? We're in London!" he turned towards me.
His breath reeked of alcohol and it made me want to gag. It wasn't the best smelling alcohol, I mean, what alcohol smells good?
"Go, my friend! Dance! Celebrate!"
He shoved me towards the dance floor, which I stumbled slightly. Getting my footing, since I was not used to my entire feet being covered, I slowly started to make my way around the crowd again, trying to find Y/N. Walking through the people on the dance floor, the live band playing started to get into a slower song, one that was obviously meant for couples. Even though I didn't take it to be that kind of ball. But again, this is London. Briskly walking off the floor, someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me back on. I thought it was Y/N, but it was someone else.
"Well, aren't you a dashing young man," the woman smiled.
"I-I--uhm," I struggled to find the right words.
"Come now, don't be shy," she said. "Come take a dance with me."
"I-I must decline," I respectfully pushed her away. "I am looking for someone."
"They can wait, dear. Have a drink! Dance. Stay a while."
"I-I really must be looking for my--"
"Hey!"
Marching over was Y/N. I let out a sigh of relief as she stood in between me and the other woman.
"Well, look who came barreling in," the woman smirked, trying to be funny.
"Step away from him," she slurred.
How many drinks did she have?
"You're too drunk, hon. You should probably head home, where it's safe. You don't want anyone taking advantage of you."
"You better back the fuck up," she swayed here and there.
"Y/N," I reached over and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her towards me. "Let's get going. You need to rest."
"Hold on, Mizu. I gotta teach this bitch a lesson."
"Excuse me?" the woman gasped.
I couldn't help but smile. Who knew Y/N was a protective drunk. I just hope she doesn't pull out the gun on this woman.
"Yeah. You heard me. You're a bitch. But not like those big ones that are scary. More like those little ones that are yappy. Annoying to listen and look at."
The woman scoffed, "I'll have you know--"
"'i'Ll HaVe YoU kNoW'," Y/N said in a mocking tone.
I placed my hand over my mouth, trying not to laugh at the situation.
"What are you laughing at?" the woman pointed a finger at me.
"I-I'm sorry," I said.
"Hey, don't point your finger at him. Only I can do that."
"What? You order around this stick of a man?"
"I'll have you know, Mizu is not a stick of a man. He's quite athletic."
"Oh, now why don't we have a look see," the woman stepped closer to Mizu.
"Hey, back off. No one touches him other than me."
"And does he like touching you when you're drunk?"
"Fuck yeah. We get down and dirty," she started to thrust her hips and some blush started to crawl onto my cheeks.
The woman was disgusted and walked off. Y/N turned to face me, perking up and smiling at me.
"Were you drunk?"
"No," she said.
"So you acted drunk?"
"Yep," she flashed a proud smile. "No one touches my Mizu."
A soft smile appeared as I took her hand, "And no one touches my Y/N."
The music started to slow down to a soft melody, one where someone could fall asleep to, or dance to. Still holding her hand, I bowed to her.
"May I have this dance, Y/N?"
"Of course, Mizu."
We walked out onto the dance floor and danced with the other people there. My one arm wrapped around her waist while her one arm wrapped around my neck, the tips of her fingers digging into the back of my hairline. Our other hands intertwined with one another's and we started to spin and sway with the music. She leaned her body into me, the side of her head nuzzling against mine. I smiled, closing my eyes, enjoying this moment together. It was rare for us to get any semblance of peace. Tonight was going to be that night where we relished it in. In each other.
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abby118 · 4 months ago
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It makes me so happy to see I’m not alone here. Honestly the Loki fandom is so fucking isolating, and I feel like if you say you prefer Pre-series Loki/Loki Prime whatever….you get shit flung at you. This fandom has done a really good job at making me scared to share my opinions. (Hell, I can’t even criticize the TVA without “UWU THE TVA ARE SMOL ANGST BLORBOS WITH TRAUMA! THEY’RE LOKI’s WHOLESOME FOUND FAMILY WHO HELPED HIM!!!”) It’s helped me a little bit to remember Loki in the series is a variant of our boy, because like…he’s literally nothing like Loki in the slightest and no offense to the fans, but it feels like a majority of them haven’t even TOUCHED the previous films. (Literally saw a post calling them old and outdated.)
Thank you for this blog. 🥺
Ooh yes, mhm. It can be isolating, for sure, but I also think we're fortunate that it did split into pre and post ragnarok eras of the fandom because some fandoms die when its source material gets retconned. I definitely relate to the opinion aimed towards the new "fans"; they're one of the most disrespectful and meanest people I have had the displeasure of interacting with in fandom spaces and I've been on this site for a while now.
And no, the character in the series is not a variant of Loki. The *only thing they share is a name, which has been stolen from the original character it rightfully belongs to, with the intent of cashing in on the fans. I refuse to refer to him as the same character. *They do share the same actor too, and as much as it hurts to say it, because Tom Hiddleston has been my favourite actor since I can remember - I was literally 9 when I joined the fandom when T1 came out..(for context, I'll be turning 22 this year), I no longer relate to how he views, or seems to view, Loki. And don't get me wrong, he will always be the person who played my favourite character, that will not change, but I do not see his interpretation of Loki as my own anymore. It doesn't even match his old one. And I know I'm not alone in feeling like this.
The TVA is a topic I don't have the energy to get into but it is beyond problematic. I'll just say that, I'm sure we all know what I'm getting at there. And I wouldn't even say it "feels" like the newer people haven't touched the movies. I have spoken to a few of them and it is an actual thing, apparently. Some of them started with ragnarok...which does explain a lot...and never bothered to check the original ones. And then they complain about feeling unwelcome among the fanbase, I wonder why that is, huh? - "I feel like if you say you prefer Pre-series Loki/Loki Prime whatever….you get shit flung at you. This fandom has done a really good job at making me scared to share my opinions."
Don't listen to them. Block them. They are not interactions that would bring you enjoyment or any sort of positive feeling and that's not what fandoms are supposed to be like, trust me. If you genuinelly feel upset about people's takes and opinion aimed towards you, you have every right to avoid them. Tumblr has no algorithm and blocking is nothing but curating your experience, you don't owe anything to these people. I, myself, have done this, including filtering tags, and it is so much more peaceful than when I rejoined (beacuse I changed blogs). Still, no longer being able to go to the main tag is incredibly sad.
Find a group of people you can interact with, follow the tags that are more specific and avoid what doesn't benefit your fun here. And thank you for being here, really. Especially for reaching out 💚🖤 I'm very glad you like my blog. I'm just doing my own thing, which in my case, means trying to stay true to the fandom I loved and enjoyed (and still do) from years ago, regardless of the notes or what people say. Because, at the end of the day, all that matters is your own enjoyment. I'm trying not to post too much negativity towards post2013 despite having a lot to say because there are blogs who do that, and do so well (thank you guys), and we need one that's focused on the good things too, but sometimes it really is needed. So thank you for the opportunity.
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pass1onepr1ncess · 11 months ago
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Jojo Golden Wind and DID Representation
I think about Diavolo and Doppio quite LITERALLY every single day, but I also have a lot of thoughts specifically about their plurality. I was talking about this on Ponytown earlier in a big group in the Jojo area, but as a system myself there's a lot I have to say about them in terms of their DID. SO that's what this post is for! First of all, I like to think they would've named their system the Crimson System due to King Crimson. I know in canon they didn't have a system name, especially bc Doppio was entirely unaware of their systemhood, but again these are just my own thoughts.
Also, they likely have DID as opposed to OSDD. In DID there's far more barriers between alters which leads to memory loss and dissociative amnesia, while in OSDD while there definitely can be elements of memory loss and dissociative amnesia, there's definitely a significantly lesser amount of it and there's not as many barriers between alters. Given that Diavolo was able to hide their own plurality from Doppio entirely for years and years has me convinced that they have DID and not OSDD. However, keep in mind that both are covert disorders and it's entirely possible to live with either dissassociative disorder and not know it. For example, we (Arcade System) likely developed DID somewhere around the ages of 7-9 (We're not entirely sure when it was, everything from that time is very blurry because of the trauma and amnesia) and we didn't even consider that we had a dissassociative disorder until we were 18. But considering that Diavolo was fully aware while Doppio wasn't, I'm inclined to believe that they have DID because that would be very indicitive of a strong barrier between them.
Anyway, I think that Doppio was the host! I know that Diavolo was the Boss of Passione, but in order to keep that role secured he needed to be able to go into hiding and we see in canon that he uses headspace to do this. Because of this, Doppio fronts far more often and Diavolo only ever switches with him when they're in danger or if he needs to make an appearance for mafia duties. As for Diavolo's role(s), I think that he's likely a protector (Trying to protect the system from harm by keeping their identity hidden and protected, using the mafia as a means to gain power and loyalty from people who have also sworn to protect them. In controlling Italy through Passione, he also controls who knows his identity and can dissuade people from approaching him through fear), gatekeeper (has access to all of Doppio's memories in addition to his own while also blocking off all of his own memories from Doppio (I would even say that further proof of this is the fact that Doppio can only use his own stand (Epitaph) while Diavolo can harness both his (King Crimson) and Doppio's abilities), can control who is fronting, can force switch Doppio out when needed), and a trauma holder (Doppio doesn't seem to have the same goal of hiding their identity and his only goal is following Diavolo, implying that he doesn't have memories of the trauma that caused their initial split and made Diavolo so afraid of being known).
As for their initial split, AKA the traumatic event that caused them to develop DID in the first place, here are my thoughts. I think that Doppio as an alter was the one born into their body, and Diavolo formed later because of something that happened in their childhood. As for what this was, I don't know for sure but I have a vague idea. It's said that "Solido Naso" was a fairly normal boy for most of his life but that he did have a bit of a violent side. I've seen people say that this "dark side" was Diavolo but, counterpoint, Doppio himself is also violent! We see in his fight with Risotto that while he tends to be more timid and nonconfrontational at first that he quickly becomes angry and violent all on his own- without switching with Diavolo. Diavolo is talking to him, yes, but his actions and feelings are all his own and we see him in a fit of rage and bloodlust in trying to kill Risotto. Jojo fandom needs to stop babying Doppio, he's just as violent and angry and dark as Diavolo is, it just takes him longer to get there and he only does so when backed into a corner. So, I do think that these outbursts from when they were younger really were just Doppio being young and learning to handle his anger and violence. I also think he has anger issues, but that's not for this post.
I think the time when Diavolo forms is when they sought out their mother and tried to learn about their own past. Something must've happened during that that severely traumatized them and put them under a lot of stress, not just once but multiple times as DID and OSDD aren't developed from a singular traumatic event. A person only develops these disorders from repeated and consistent trauma at an early age when the brain hasn't fully formed yet, hence why our mental and emotional state is split into different alters; to protect ourselves from the trauma, our brain sets barriers between each piece of us. Whatever it was caused so much trauma and pain that Diavolo formed as a protector and trauma holder so that Doppio wouldn't have to remember what happened and so he could protect the both of them from it ever happening again- including attacking their mother and burying her alive under the garage so that she wouldn't reveal their past to anyone else and also because she's part of that past. And when their adoptive father finds out about this, he also has to be taken care of. Because there would always be a risk of other people finding out about them and their background, Diavolo took it upon himself to burn their entire hometown down and fake their death. I personally believe that "Solido Naso" was the name their adoptive father gave them and what they were known as legally, so obviously when they were proclaimed dead it was under the name "Solido Naso." That way, they could live as "Diavolo" and "Vinegar Doppio" and be completely nonexistant to the law in Italy. They could fly completely under the radar just like Diavolo wanted.
In terms of how I think they were written and handled in canon, I do not speak for all systems when I say this. These are all my own thoughts and opinions as a system and I am not some kind of representative for the plural community as a whole. But, I think they were written really well! I know people probably use the arguement that it's a bit fishy that out of all the characters, the villain is the only character with DID and especially that they seem to fit into the "Good Alter vs Evil Alter" stereotype, but here's why I don't think this applies.
Yes, Diavolo and Doppio are the villains of Part 5 but I don't feel like Araki made their plurality the reason for their villainy. In the "Good Alter vs Evil Alter" trope, the whole basis for it is that the quote-unquote "Evil Alter" is evil for no reason. It's used as a scapegoat for their malice, that they're simply just evil as an alter with no real motivation. While it can definitely be argued that Diavolo as an alter is entirely malicious, I think this can be explained by him being a protector. I even considered him being a persecutor- especially because the ways in which he protects the system are definitely harmful- but I think persecutors are defined by wanting to help the system in unconventional ways that ultimately hurts the system. Once I thought about it a bit more, Diavolo's methods of protection harm others and not the actual system. Granted, it harmed a lot of people, but not the system. He does have motivations other than just being evil for the sake of it.
Secondly, as I said before, I don't think Doppio could be considered a "Good Alter" in the sense of the Good and Evil balance. Yes, he's considerably a lot softer and less threatening at first glance but he's also incredibly violent and destructive all on his own. I think the only way you could interpret them as "Good Alter and Evil Alter" is if you take a single look at them and never looked back.
And then in terms of them being a system and also being the villains of Part 5, I think Araki handled them really well!! Their plurality is not the focus or reason for their villainy, and even if they weren't a system and were completely two different singlets they would both still be villains! Diavolo's motivations for being the main antagonist are that he want's to remain anonymous and doesn't want people to know about his past. Doppio's motivations for being a more minor villain is that he wants to help Diavolo in his goal. Their plurality, while it plays a part in their motivations since it helps Diavolo hide his identity, is not the source of their antagonism. They would both still be villains if they weren't a system! Not only that, but their systemhood is handled with care. It's clear that Araki did his research, especially treating Diavolo and Doppio as seperate individuals with seperate souls and their own stands! I really appreciated how he actually had Polnareff explain DID so that people wouldn't be confused, and he did so in a way that made it clear that dissassociative disorders aren't inherently bad or evil and that it stems from childhood trauma! I do have a slight problem with the fact that he referred to it as MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder), which is an outdated term but I also know that Part 5 was written in a time where MPD was still the standard and often-used term for it. But the fact that their DID itself isn't demonized and it's the characters themselves being shown as villains that I think was done very well! Shoutout to @endless-hourglass for bringing up some topics in a reblog that I want to add onto! Touching more on Doppio being just as dark as Diavolo and him not being the "Good Alter," he completely could've not been in the mafia! In fact, I think Diavolo probably would have further benefitted from Doppio not being affiliated with the organization at all! It would've meant he could 100% hide without fail while Doppio was fronting since while he was the Don of Passione, Doppio would be completely untied to it all. It would've made a perfect cover story. BUT NO!!! Instead, Doppio CHOSE to be part of the mafia, to be Diavolo's right hand! He didn't have to at all, ESPECIALLY since he was unaware of their plurality! He viewed Diavolo as a seperate person entirely with his own body and, through that lens, he absolutely would've had his own choice, but he didn't! He followed Diavolo into Passione regardless, AND THAT WAS HIS OWN DECISION TO MAKE!!!! Another thing I wanted to add onto touches a bit on the whole theory/implication of Diavolo being a demon/the Actual Devil possessing him when he fronts is that 1) Nonhuman alters totally exist. One of our own previous hosts was a nonhuman alter, and our FF is a colony of plankton just like in Stone Ocean. And 2) Diavolo and Doppio's adoptive father was a priest. Do I think that there was something legitimately biblical and supernatural happening and that Diavolo is a literal demon or Satan himself? No, not really. Do I think that it's entirely possible that in their headspace he could be a demonic nonhuman alter that formed because of their religious upbringing? I think it's entirely possible! Despite the differences in appearance between them that Jojo does when they switch front, I don't think that would be something that would be possible to change between the two of them because regardless of if Diavolo is a nonhuman alter or not, their body is still human. But it could be a fun little thing to think about!
This topic really is something I think about often, especially since Diavolo and Doppio are my dads and I think it's funny how I, their daughter, ended up in a DID system myself. I made a joke to a friend a bit ago about how it "runs in the family" lmao.
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samwisethewitch · 7 months ago
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Something I've been thinking about lately: In conversations about being intentionally child-free, I see a lot of people talk about how much they resent constantly being told that they'll change their minds someday. And yeah, that sucks. When you tell someone that they'll regret their choices or go back on them someday, you're telling them you don't trust them to make their own decisions. And that's a dick move.
But what I see left out of a lot of these conversations is the fact that some people do change their minds about kids, and that is also okay.
People change. Our priorities and our values change. Someone identifying as child-free at 20 and then realizing at 30 that they actually do want to be a parent doesn't invalidate other people's decision not to have kids. It doesn't even invalidate that person's previous decision. They're growing. They're changing, and that's okay. Healthy even.
When I was 18, I felt very strongly that I would never marry and never have children. For me, this was a reaction to growing up in a religious environment where women were second-class citizens, and what little autonomy/independence single women had immediately went away when they got married. And once you had kids? Well, once you had kids, your personal life was officially over and your identity now started and ended with being so-and-so's mother.
If your only model of marriage and parenthood is a nuclear family where the husband is in charge and makes all of the decisions while his wife does all of the housework and childcare and not much else, OF COURSE you wouldn't want to get married or have kids! My thought process at 18 was basically, "Well, I want to have my own money and make my own choices and have an identity outside of being a mom, so clearly the family life isn't for me."
I'm 25 now. I'm married. My husband and I both kept our own last names, and we maintain separate bank accounts. I have a job that I'm good at, and a lot of people know me from my work. I still have my own money, make my own choices, and have my own identity. None of that went away when I got married. All that's changed is that I have a partner and best friend that I decided to do life with, and we had a ceremony and signed a piece of paper to make it official. We're not quite at the having kids stage yet, but it is something we both want someday.
Me wanting marriage and kids now doesn't invalidate my decision at 18. When I was 18, focusing on my education and career was absolutely the right choice for me. I needed to be able to focus on myself without considering how it would affect a spouse or kids. Eventually, I realized marriage and parenthood can look a lot of different ways. I realized I can decide what they look like for me. I don't have to follow the model I grew up with. And I realized I do want raising kids to be part of my life, just in a way that looks different from what others might expect.
This is a process a lot of people go through, especially women and femmes. If you're in the middle of it right now, just know that you're allowed to change.
And of course, a lot of people don't change their minds. A lot of people who identify as child-free at 20 still don't want kids at 30, 40, or 50. I've met people in their 80s and 90s who never had kids and don't regret that decision. My point here is that some people changing their minds about something doesn't mean it's not a good option for other people.
(And, let's be real, unfortunately a lot of people go the other way: they think they want kids until they have them. That's way more complicated because now there's a whole human person involved who is dependent on them for care and this definitely deserves its own post, but the best advice I can give is if you're young, you need to give yourself time to figure out what you want before committing to anything.)
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