#def not an original joke don't credit me for this

[onyourowndaisymae]

being the attendant of the house of lamentation must be fucking wild because you walk past insane conversations and just. aren't allowed to join in. belphie's in the bathroom like "if Father didn't want me to shove q-tips in my ears he wouldn't have put g-spots in them" and asmo jumps in from across the hallway like "and if Father didn't want men to be gay--" and you just have to go about your day like that conversation didn't irrevocably change your life

[hereticdrws]

Aquarium date w mizu

A/n: did I just narrate my visit at the aquarium and add mizu? Possibly did I use quotes from me and my sister? Also maybe anygays I hope yall enjoy ☺️🤞 should I write a real fic w this? I alr got 1 in the works cough cough baseball mizu

Warnings: NOT PROOF READ idk I don't think there r any but lemme know if there r

Loser!Mizu x (masc?) Reader I tried to make it v neutral but I kinda self projected

Enjoy 😉

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

◇Def spends wayyyy to long on parking trying to find the perfect spot no matter how many times she's been

◇Tells you the scientific names of all the fish on the banners on the way in that are used to attract visitors

◇Tells you every fish related joke she knows while waiting in line to get in

◇Cannot stand up straight in the line to save her life she has to lean (but I mean who tf doesn't why tf would I stand up str8 when I can lean)

◇Tries to convince u to let her bring a fish home (you're not even allowed to)

◇Took 1000 pics of the baby penguins

◇(Also asked to take one home)

◇Does not shut up abt the smell

◇Says every cute thing in the exhibit looks like you

Ex:

After walking past the toucan exhibit we make our way toward the baby monkeys per mizus request, walking hand in hand and shoulder to well head because lord knows mizu is tall as shit.

Once we arrive at the monkey exhibit for the first time since arriving mizu releases her hand from yours

"Omg babe it looks just like you!" She eagerly points out

"It does??" You raise an eyebrow at the 5'7 woman towering you, questioning her ecstatic expression

"Yeah!!"

◇Tried to provoke the toucan

"OMG Y/N ITS THE BIRD FROM THE MEME" spends at least 15 minutes trying to find the meme

◇Made you carry her hoodie bc it was so humid

"Babe I told you not to bring it 🙄"

"I thought it'd be cold ☹️"

"Why are there only birds I hate birds"

"Because we're in the bird exhibit babe 😐"

"oh"

◇Pouts when she can't find the animal in the exhibit

"Babe did you know poison dart frogs are poisonous?"

Dies

"Babe stop ☹️"

◇Stuck her hand in the water 'bcuz she can'

"I bet I could survive that jump"

"No tf you wouldnt?"

◇You had to pay for the slushies bc she forgot her wallet (which she definitely owns) ((she doesn't own a wallet))

"BABE THERES FUCKING CROCODILES"

"Dude there's a kid right nxt 2 u"

"Babe wtf"

"What"

"Your mouth looks like a traffic cone"

☹️

◇Constantly asked what would happen if she threw smthing at an animal

Ex:

"What I'd I threw my slushie at the crocodile"

"I'll disown you"

◇Looks in disgust at all the babies and children

◇I cannot express how much she'd compare you to ever cute animal in the exhibit

◇Leans into u when she gets bored like srsly u are supporting this woman's entire body weight

◇Do not forget how CLINGY she is (totally not self projecting) she would not let go of your hand, not to mention she is constantly pressed to your side esp when walking she is js leaning into you (same 😔) she cannot walk in a straight line for the life of her

◇Mizu is either the most shameful person you've ever met or the most shameless

No inbetween

◇The facts omg So. Many. Facts it's acc insane

"Did you know the 'type of animal' is acc a direct descendant of-"

◇Has a donkey Kong lanyard u drag her around by so she doesn't wander off

"Omg that's literally us in another universe"

(Pic credits go to yours truly 😌)

"Omg yn that's a stone fish the one from the meme 😁🫵"

"What meme?"

😨 (she only scrolls on YouTube shorts or insta reels) ((idk why she's shocked))

◇Constantly pointing out how ugly a fish is

"If it were human it could NEVER pull you"

"???"

◇Spent at least an hour in the shark exhibit telling you the scientific names of all the diff species of them and where they originated from

◇Millions of pics of them everytime a shark swam by at least 25 pics would be taken

◇Everytime you tell her to pise for a pic with one of the exhibits she either puts up a thumbs up with the dumbest smile you've ever seen or accidently flips you off then rushes over to you drowning your face in kisses and apologizing over n over

◇Sitting/leaning every chance she gets (and pulling u down w her every chance she gets) ((she is so clingy I can't express it enough))

"When do we get to go to the gift shop?" ◇She asked every 2 seconds if she's not telling you the most outrageous 'facts' she learned from who tf knows where

"That bird is big as shit 😐"

◇Tries to stand like a flamingo falls not even 2 seconds later claiming you pushed her

◇Literally RAN for the shark plushies once yall got to the gift shop

◇Could not decide which one to get so u js bought her all of them bc ur so sweet/you couldn't decide which one to get so she bought you all of them (whichever u want)

◇Got lost in the parking lot trying to find yalls car

◇Yall stopped at chic fil a on your way home

◇Once yall got home you both changed into comfy clothes and layed down and cuddled ofc yall cuddled with mizus ridiculous amount of new shark plushies

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

A/n pt2: thank you for reading I hope yall like this ☺️

[oxceen]

Alterhuman alphabet!

(credits to @/local-xenogender-icon)

A - awakening

When did you realise you are an alterhuman? At what age, how long ago?

I awakened around two years ago, when I was 12. My neighbour/friend and I were hanging out outside our houses and he asked if I knew what a therian is. I said no, and he explained it to me, and told me that he is one. I was really interested, because I've felt very cat-like since I was a kid, and often saw myself as a cat, and afterwards I researched more about therianthropy and asked my friend a ton of questions and around a week later I confirmed that I am indeed a therian!

B - balance

Does your identity affect your social life (school, work, etc.)? Does it cause troubles or not?

It doesn't really affect my social life much, but I get phantom ears very often and it gets uncomfortable sometimes, and my friends often ask me if im ok bc I'm aggressively rubbing my palm against my head to try and get rid of my phantom shift :,)

C - city

Do you live in a city? If yes, is it hard for you to be away from nature? Does your therio/kintype even need nature?

I live in a sub-urban area (thankfully) because cities are pretty overwhelming for me. The area I live in has plenty of trees and bushes but it's mainly just in people's front yards and I wish there was a small forest nearby that I could walk around in, but sadly there isnt't :(

D - diary

Do you have a diary about your alterhuman experiences? If not, do you want to start one?

I used to, but I kept forgetting to add entries to it so I gave up lol

E - experience in the community

What is your experience and thoughts about the alterhuman community?

So far, everyone's been really nice! Everyone seems to be really supportive of eachother and I've only seen discrimination in the community once or twice. I'm also a little concerned about the nonhumans who are severely struggling mentally due to their nonhumanity.

F - friends

Have you told your friends about your identity?

My three closest friends know, and they're very supportive!

G - gear

Do you have any gear? If yes, is it handmade or bought?

I have an ear headband that my neighbour gifted me for christmas, and although the colours are wrong, I love it and wear it pretty often. I also have a half-finished yarn tail that's been a WIP for a couple months now because I can't find the time to finish it. And I also have a necklace with a green gem, a rainbow and a wolf pendant! It was originally just the gem to match with my best friend's purple gem, but then I added the rainbow (bc LGBTQ+) and the wolf pendant came from an old necklace I got alongside a book (Wolves of the Beyond, I def recommend) that I got in 2nd grade.

I - identity

What is (are) your therio/kintype(s)?

Vancouver coastal grey wolf, Turkish Angora, Western jackdaw, orca and banded linsang!

J - jokes

Do you like to make little jokes about your identity or is it rather serious for you?

Both! I don't really make jokes about it myself, but my friends often joke around about my nonhuman behaviours (in a nice way) and I laugh along :)

K - knowledge

In scale of 1-10, how big do you think your knowldege about alterhumans is? Are you new to this topic?

I'd say around a 6-7. I know pretty much all the basic stuff, but the more complicated stuff like physically-identifying nonhumans and otherlinks I don't really know much about yet, mainly because I've only recently heard about them.

L - liking, loving

Do you like your therio/kintype(s)? Do you love or dislike it/them?

I like my theriotypes a lot! I find my theriotypes really interesting, there's always something new to learn about my kind.

N - nature

Does your therio/kintype live in the wild, or rather not? (E.g. it's a house pet, or it's a robot.)

All my theriotypes are wild, except for my domestic cat theriotype.

O - otherhearted

Are you also otherhearted? If yes, what is your kithtype(s)?

I'm snakehearted!

P - popularity

Is your therio/kintype "popular" or is it rather rare?

I'd say my wolf theriotype is very "popular" if you just look at it like a wolf, but I've only seen one or two therians who are coastal wolves like me.

I see domestic cat therians everywhere so it's needless to say my cat theriotype is pretty "popular"

I see crow therians and raven therians a lot, but I've never met another jackdaw like me. I wonder why /gen

I used to think orca therians are rare, but after joining tumblr I found that there are quite a lot like me!

I've never seen another linsang therian, which makes sense because barely anyone knows asiatic linsangs even exist. They were discovered only in 2013 and we know next to nothing about their reproduction, social behaviours, and diet.

R - real body

Do you feel good about your physical body? Do you experience gender dysphoria?

I don't get gender dysphoria often, but I do get species dysphoria. A lot of the time I wish my legs were shaped differently, or my face was longer, or I had a tail, wings, etc.

S - sex

Does your therio/kintype have a different sex than you?

Yes! I identify dpecifically as a male dominant/"alpha" (I dont really like using that word to describe it)/pack leader wolf because I do not feel maternal instincts toward young wolves. I know this because when I look at pictures of kittens, or see actual kittens, I feel a strong urge to look after them, clean them up, protect them from danger, etc. Aside from these two theriotypes, I don't identify as a specific sex.

T - traits

What are your alterhuman traits? (E.g. a need to hunt, bark, ect.)

I get extremely aggressive toward people who wrong me or people close to me, and my typical response is to growl/snarl at them.

If a friend gets their hand close to my face, I try and play-bite but they always draw their hand away (understandably).

When I'm in a group of people, or I see a group of people, I can often tell who the "pack leader" is within a couple seconds, even if it's not obvious to a human.

Very wide smile during tense/awkward situations or any situation where I feel threatened. It's basically a snarl but bc im physically a stupid human, no one notices >:(

Sometimes I raise my shoulders and then shake myself all out (usually involuntarily), which is like the human equivalent of feather rousing

I sometimes also bump/rub my head on my (close) friends' shoulders as a way to greet them

U - urges

If you have a theriotype, are you good at controlling your animalistic urges? Do they bother you?

I'm fairly good at controlling my urges, but when I get angry I feel like I'm gonna lose control and just go feral on everyone. It's never actually happened though.

W - wondering

How do you think you would look like, if you could physically shapeshift into your therio/kintype? (Describe or put an image here!)

I think I'd just look like any other member of my species.

Y - yarn

If you wanted to buy/make a tail, would it be real fur or fake/yarn fur?

I prefer real fur, but I'd only buy it if I'm 100% certain it's not from a cruel fur farm. But if I'm unable to buy it, I'd make my own, from yarn (which I've already started doing).

Z - zoo

How do you feel about zoos (a place, not z00philes)? Are they good or bad in your opinion? Do you want to go there to meet your theriotype (if you are a therian).

I think zoos are okay (only ethical ones), I enjoy going to them and seeing all the cool animals there. Sadly none of my theriotypes are at any of the zoos I normally visit.

___________

:3

[rockybloo]

i like the way you draw zeke's gashes and gore, do you like horror/have horror recs (any media)

As much as I like to draw mushy wholesome romance between two characters...I love horror to an almost unhealthy extent. It is my favorite genre of anything honestly (I have spent days binge watching horror films back to back to back on Netflix, even the bad ones)

I've never really done a recommendation list before for anything so I can only list my favorites that I could spend a day rewatching no problem. I also need to add that I am a gore hound and the gorier the film or series is, the higher my chances of enjoyment so please keep this in mind.

My FAVORITE horror films are:

Brain Dead/ Dead Alive: I need to state that this film basically has EVERY trigger in it and did not age well AT ALL in terms of some of the jokes. However, having watched it when I was young, it was a crucial part of me becoming a horror fan and I love this trainwreck dearly...for its special effects. Mainly just the special effects. I do appreciate how the film is kinda split in two. The first being funny zombie comedy stuff and the last half being...well a shit ton of blood and gore. Also it has stop motion in it at some points which I love as someone who also adores stop motion.

The Final Destination Franchise: Not recommended for the paranoid but I love this 2000s ass film franchise. The premise is creative as well as the deaths. I also love that Death is super petty in this series and refuses to just kill someone up front and instead chooses the Rube Goldberg approach to offing people. Plus the original voice actor for Kratos pops up in one of the films which is a bonus if you are a God of War fan like me. If I had to pick a favorite out of the franchise, I'd say it's a tie between the first and the last. HOWEVER, the last film is oh so more rewarding if you watched the entire franchise-I will not spoil why but just trust me.

Candyman: The original film specifically. It's so interesting how the antagonist is a living myth and is so poetic in his words that sometimes I kinda forgot he was the villain. I love his design and the fact this film deeply touches on certain issues and not just being focused on being a typical slasher.

The Haunted Mansion: Yes the...original Disney live action film with Eddie Murphy. I count it as a horror film because it was genuinely scary to me as a kid. There's still some horrific stuff in it now. I mean, you got the opening credit scenes leading up to a dude straight up hanging himself, the zombies looking like straight up corpses, A DUDE GETTING DRAGGED TO HELL. The music still haunts me to this day.

Nope: A recent addition but this is def one of the best horror films I've seen. It is filled to the brim with so many details that you don't catch on the first watch. Plus, the "spaceship" is such a well designed element that I still think about how it works and how smart of a concept it was. I love the protagonists in this film as well and the bit of humor sprinkled in. I actually enjoyed this film so much I read the script for it since it was online (which I've never done for any film before). Cannot recommend this film enough.

Us: This film is just a level or horror that I only feel when reading Junji Ito stories. The idea of a doppelganger never scared me until this film because the entire concept is your other self hunting you down to kill you. There's a murder spree scene in this film that is so well framed and done because you see both everything and nothing at the same time because of the camera angle. The Tethered are underrated as monsters.

The Thing: The old one with the husky dog. The original Among Us and the best "WHO THE FUCK IS THE KILLER" film. The special effects are amazing and the fact that the audience cannot tell who the alien is is so great because we feel just as scared as the crew members. Plus...the alien absorbing people is just straight horrific.

This list is getting long and I have so many horror films I got jingling around in my brain but my last one is Pet Semetary. I was gonna put Poltergeist, which is also a favorite and is the only paranormal film I enjoy (I am not a big fan of ghost movies but that's because I love gore and carnage), but I kinda...don't really see it as a horror film. It certainly is one but there's so many cute and funny moments and it's kinda more whimsical than scary to me.

ANYWAYS BACK TO PET SEMETARY-There's an unsettlingness to it that I can't really explain. It's not just the dead pet aspect, it's just the vibes in it. The happy music becoming twisted as well as the always foreboding mood where you know something bad is gonna happen. There's a couple things that are left up to the audience's imagination but there's enough context that you just KNOW something terrible happened (like that ending). Plus, the little kid actor going on a killing spree is...kinda funny. He's just a little fella with a knife having a good ole time before bedtime.

ANYWAYS-I'VE RAMBLED ENOUGH ABOUT HORROR FILMS!

[rewoundreviews]

Rewound Review #450 : Cat's Eye

An anthology of 3 Stephen King short stories.

Jimminy Christmas is this movie ever hokey! I remember it being less than serious & not especially scary but I'd forgotten just how silly it is. I guess I should have been tipped off by the back cover insisting I'd be 'cat-atonic with fear'... Anyhoo, if you're looking for something a bit suspenseful but light-hearted, this is def worth watching. Of the 3 stories, I'd say I like the first one the best. As a former smoker, the threat of succumbing to the wiles of nicotine against your better judgement even when the stakes are high if you do is chillingly realistic. I was also pleased by the exaggerated cigarette usage in the party scene since it extinguished any lurking desire I may have had for a dastardly gasper. Furthermore, this installment features the most ridiculously wholesome exchange during an altercation with lines such as 'Where's my wife you turd?!' 'Oh Fiddlesticks!' & 'Forget the cat you hemorrhoid!' The second story is probably the most legitimately scary to me since I have a fear of heights but I don't see it as especially original & therefore not especially captivating. The third story is the goofiest with the tiny troll & his tiny dagger & the corny dad joke 'I certainly never realized Polly had such a big pecker!' but it's also the most charming segment for me since it more heavily features adorable little Drew Barrymore. Pro tip: make sure to stick around for the credits & the fantastic title song performed by Ray Stephens, lead singer of The Village People.

#vhs

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[petitprincess1]

As much as I liked the premise for Villainous, between the controversies behind the scenes and how god awful the fandom is, I’m sort’ve just separating myself from canon and the fans. Sort’ve a ‘I am looking away’ shit

Production was a total mess, there wasn’t any proper advertising, and the show isn’t exactly made for international viewers. Everything important or interesting is shoved aside in favor for jokes only mexican audiences will get, and while catering to that specific audience is fine, it isn’t good if you want your show to be global. The jokes and storytelling just feels generally awkward to me. I love Villainous, it’s a hyperfixation, but there are definitely flaws. At least with Hazbin and Helluva, the humor and story feel more grounded and easy to watch (It’s not perfect by any means, and some jokes aren’t for me, but I can rewatch it for fun if I felt like it)

ABSOLUTELY ALL OF THIS ^^^^^

I absolutely agree with Hazbin and Helluva not being perfect and it's definitely not for everyone, but I feel like you can tell effort and love for the stories are being put into it. Don't get me wrong, I know that Villainous has effort put into, I just think it's the wrong kind. He's trying so hard to pander to the audience, that it kinda feels like fanfiction and not the good kind.

They lean so damn hard into references that it makes that original jokes feel kinda hollow at times. Heck, their own characters are references like Bicep is clearly Rocky Balboa or Airlock is a combo of Samus and Zarya from Overwatch (except Airlock is the dumbest character I've ever seen. She could've used that gun of hers at any point on Dem or that console Flug was using to download the Code Turkey...but didn't because Dem and Flug would be dead if she did). Emilia even sort of looks like and has the hand mannerisms of Tsuyu Asui from My Hero Academia.

Plus, the action in the show is very limited, if that makes sense. They have a lot of punching, kicking, and flipping characters around. Sometimes there's weapons used....sometimes. Yes, Helluva has the same, but Imps are powerless. They dont have any magic of any kind, which is why Loona can use the Grimoire, but Millie has to use chalk to make a portal. Also, the camera angles and various 3D backgrounds that they use make it incredibly pleasing to the eye, like ep 6's gorgeous fight scene. Meanwhile, Villainous has a lot of things being done center of the frame and when they do use different angles, it's nothing too interesting. Again, it's mainly shown to see how far someone went after being thrown or to demonstrate a chaotic scene that isn't really that chaotic.

Point is, I know Villainous is trying at times, but they're trying hard in the wrong areas. It feels flanderized and sometimes pandering. Plus, the controversies def don't help, as well as their handling of it. I mean, them literally talking shit about Caro, as if she was a "ghost" in the studio. Like they need to seriously grow up. Yeah, you can argue the same for Caro, but all she did was ask for credit. Idk that was punishable or childish.

[strigital]

gods forbid we become a vampire!! even if there was an option i would prefer not to. however! i def see Astarion joking about it every now again, kinda like "if you let me nibble you a little we could be truly bound for eternity 😉" and the mc is like "oh astarion you're such a jokester! that's what i love about you: your superb sense of humor!" and he'd kinda just laugh with us a bit, but just a bit 'cause a part of him kinda likes the idea...

anyways, if this game gonna kill off any or all of our companions not as a result of our direct choice, but because developers intended so that's gonna be a massive nope for me. one of the best parts about rpg games like baldur's gate, neverwinter nights, dragon age, divinity original sin 2 and others is that your dynamic with each companion is unique. some at the end of the story will leave to do their own thing, some will try to betray you midway, others might stick around some more and there are sometimes those who stay by you even after the credits roll. and most companion deaths are almost exclusively direct consequences of the player's choices. i mean, remember Fenris - another white haired ex-slave elf? there was a choice to give him back to his master, thusly loosing access to him as a companion for the rest of the game. there was also a chance to fight him to the death at the final battle, as well as a possibility to convince him to stay by your side.

so basically, to make a long rant short, i don't believe that Larian are gonna pull off "they all die at the end, regardless of your choices" move. at least because they know that fans ar gonna be pissed af.

what i am really hoping for is for them to add a couple more interesting people to keep you company on the road. and if not, then i really want to rummage through our companions's dirty laundry, learn all their secrets, their fears and passions, build a strong friendship, romance or rivalry with them and basically just fall in love (or hate, i'm looking at you Lae'Zel) with them.

so

Astarion. Regardless of how the inevitable date with Casador goes down, i just hope that we will get to witness some heart wrenching drama and pass some serious dice rolls in order to avoid the worst possible outcome!! last time i worried sick about a companion's fate was the trial of poor ole Tali from ME2 and i wouldn't mind getting stressed and depressed about somebody else's future once again 😂

i'm sitting here, simpin' like all hell for one succy boi and

a Thought™ has crossed my mind

what if

later in the game our paths cross with Casador and he regains control over Astarion? and then the poor chap is ordered to destroy what he cherishes the most, i. e. to kill a romanced mc? and he is screaming "NO!" and kicking and crying out to us and Casador is just sitting back and enjoying the show. and then we get to fight him, all the while trying desperately to do something to stop the madness. maybe Astarion's pure rage and anger and pain and utter love for the mc allows him to break free of his master's control for a split second, which is enough to kill him? and then, of course, que a very fluffy moment where he is shaken up and in disbelief that he had almost killed his lover and that he is no longer anybody's slave. what a perfect moment that would be for him to grab our mc, kiss them hard and deep and finally declare his feelings towards them! what if he also manages to snatch some of Casador's own blood and become a true vampire and then for the rest of the romance he teases the mc with the proposition of biting them so they can be forever together?

anyways

i'm binging all the delicious unreleased Astarion content and my head is swarming with the what-ifs so hard i feel like i gotta write or draw something asap 🤔🤔