#def my toxic trait
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Aaaaaand here’s me singing to myself again, ha. Ngl, I had a lot of fun recording this. It's a fun song! I’m so glad I managed to figure out how to follow the original French structure rather than the Russian, I preferred it. Also shout out to the Hungarians for the "beat you to death" line. It was just too perfect not to include.
You Must Marry (Tu dois te marier)
Lady Capulet Your father and I Were very much in love The day he came by He swore by God above That I was his prize That we would be wed I saw his passion rise When he caught me in bed
So lovely was I As lovely as you He promised me the earth and sky He swore he’d be true Of course, as time went by That grand love of his did fly
We all love to dream of The flame of a true love But Juliet, love won’t stay (Nurse: Exactly!) Think, then, on your wedding day
The Nurse Heed well your mother, love
Lady Capulet Heed well your nursemaid, girl Now men—
Nurse Men are men! They perjure as they woo
Lady Capulet We’re cyphers to them
Nurse We like it so, it’s true
Lady Capulet Well, I hate all men
Nurse Well, I still like my fun
Lady Capulet Old hag, not this again
Nurse I’m not the only one
But dear, do heed your mother Of course, she’s never wrong If she at times has others It’s never for too long
Lady Capulet Don’t heed that gossipmonger I’ve been a faithful wife Love tested makes it stronger For two who make a life
Both For life is too short So lovely and brief So get yourself a man Of means who’ll bring you relief! Lady Capulet Just smile and look your best, my dear
Nurse And I’ll arrange the rest!
Both Women’s fates may be grim But there’re fights we can win Marriage is the key To a life’s security
Nurse Time flies like a song, my dear
Lady Capulet Your looks won’t keep long, my dear
Both How lovely is life But brief like a breath So get yourself a man You know won’t beat you to death! Someday you’ll see we’re always right So get your man tonight!
#romeo et juliette#retj#tu dois te marier#so pathetic that i’m giggling over my own lyrics#def my toxic trait#cristina sings#my lyrics#retj english
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Since your tags on Lukes pics are now more hinged, I would like to say a farewell to your (seemingly) ending Luke Hemmings thirst era. I knew that Ashton will win you back at some point but that era was glorious to witness😌 It was a fight between stubborn denial and inevitable heart eyes & dirty thoughts. It gave us many amazing moments, analyses, comments and most important - two fantastic fics♥️ 1/2
Ngl this is one of my favorite asks I've ever gotten 😂😂
And yk what's funny is I'd also noticed that I hadn't had a Luke specific meltdown in a minute? I don't know that it means my Luke thirst era (which you so perfectly summarized here btw, excellent, beautiful tribute 😌🤌🏻) is over necessarily, maybe I've just finally accepted the thirst? Maybe there's not that jarring realization, that internal struggle anymore? Or maybe it's just that he hasn't worn a vest yet this tour. 😏
So with that in mind, I say, stay tuned! We've got a fresh new wave of shows starting tonight and it's both exciting and horrifying to think of what kind of clownery may be in store. 😌😁💙💙
#and if I ever get my shit together and write again... oh the WIPs i could finish 🫣😱#I think I owe it as a tribute to my Luke era to finish the one I have about the thigh high boots incident... jfc that was a time#also i don't think i covered the Luke Fonda shows as extensively as I should've on the blog#more specifically I didn't feature that vest suit with the pearls as much as I should've 😏#i still feel like spiralling thinking about that (and the long hair too? 🤡)#but legit this ask made me cackle so hard so thank you for sending it 😂😂#'i knew Ashton would win you back someday'#def my toxic trait#but who knows how the pendulum will swing during the NA leg#idk if anything could ever beat the adrenaline rush of the Lashton vest era but i dare them to try 😌#fingers crossed the hinges loosen again 😂#🕯️manifest Crystal losing her mind once more 🕯️#will it take a 2023 vest or a 2023 Luke workout video 😌#🕯️ manifest some decline bench presses 🕯️#ask#luke anon 🧙♀️
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i am gnawing on warren kepler like a bone. he's just like me fr. brb rotating kepler in my mind to work through my overachieving eldest daughter superiority complex, complicated relationship with the military, (misplaced) dedication to organizations that will never care about me no matter how good i am at my job, loss of a sense of my own identity because i've given waaay too much of myself to my work, need to be in control of every situation and the smartest person in the room, and drama queen tendencies all at once.
#is he a terrible person? yes <3#is he also a terrifying glimpse into a life i could have led if [redacted] hadn't happened? yes. and i am insane about it.#thank you for listening to my keplerposting#i feel like kepler is often flattened into toxic villain tropes that are def earned but also sooooo not the entire story#if i use the word holistic in a tumblr post is it too pretentious. yes. would kepler appreciate me being pretentious about him.#probably also yes.#a lot of the characters in this podcast hit strangely close to home but kepler is unfortunately all of my worst traits magnified#and also some of my better ones!#but they are traits that represent a very specific part of my life i hadn't dwelled on for a long time#i am both frustrated and delighted to get to peel those parts of myself apart via an unhinged man from chicago#anyway.
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Alright so just for fun here’s the fan cast my friend and I came up with.
I wanna preface this with saying that we went based off of the actors faces more than anything else. So don’t mind some of the drastic height differences between the actors and the guys😭
Anyways here’s my friend’s picks…
1.) Daniel Webber as Phil Collen🎸
2.) Lachlan Buchanan as Vivian Campbell🎸
3.) Adam Driver as Pete Willis🎸 (in the weirdest way I kinda think my friend was onto something)
Now here’s my picks…
4.) Logan Shroyer as Rick Savage🎸
5.) Ross Lynch as Steve Clark🎸
6.) Tom Holland as Rick Allen🥁
And lastly…
7.) Cody Fern as Joe Elliott
Please tell me y’all see what I see with some of these actors😭🙏 Also I wanna know your opinions, if you agree or disagree with any of these picks.
#it’s not perfect by any means but i think it’s better than whatever that other cast they had was#my toxic trait is thinking i’d make a great casting director#also were gonna ignore that adam driver is like 6’’ alright??#kris’ fan cast#def leppard movie#phil collen#vivian campbell#pete willis#rick savage#steve clark#rick allen#joe elliott#def leppard
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i miss art classes so bad ngl
#relief i miss you monotype i miss you mixed media i miss youu#i really miss the structure of having to set aside hours of my week to Make Art it was so so good#and like learning new techniques!! getting to play around and go ‘this might look like shit but i wonder what will Happen!!’#having an accessible Space set aside for it…getting to come in during studio time earbuds In and spend 5 hours straight…#and my teachers were chill (which i know is def not universal lol) so it was so positive and fun#i want to learn more stuff i want to try i want to create and vibe and hang !!#tala says there’s some free classes near her we’ll have to go check it out#my toxic trait IS every two weeks i get very into the idea of learning to do a new art form that has a very high starter barrier#like a month ago it was screenprinting two weeks ago it was stained glass today it’s digital drawing tomorrow who knows#but i have food at HOME (embroidery and printmaking materials untouched for months) so i perservere
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me: learns to knit
also me: decides to make a huge ass blanket out of it for my first project with many stitches
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my consultant thinks meds wont help me so im gonna come off my meds to prove to people what im really like off them so they can see they actually do help me
#im wondering if i have something else as well as bpd bc ik meds arent proven to help bpd but they help ME#like i def have bpd i meet all 9 of the criteria but i think i might have something else too#anyway im insane and execute my impulses and thoughts incorrectly and stupidly#my toxic trait is i always have to prove my point even if its to my detriment
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#ok fletcher and shannon are def going to get back together if they aren’t already boning#IM SICK OF THIS!!!!!#LEAVE HER ALONE….#cari fletcher you are my enemy#actually im sick of shannon too#my toxic trait is how fucking involved i am with stupid lesbian youtuber drama holy shit free me
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I LOVE to make Niall a menace to Harry's mental health. Glad you enjoyed 💕 Def aiming for cute and fun! (for now)
Honey II
Read Honey here | ~6.2k words
Warnings: Angst, fluff, pining, maybe a daddy-kink if you don't blink. There's a shitty guy, some jealous Harry (from said shitty guy as well as NIALL 😍) and some mentions of self-care 😉
Summary: You cannot flirt with my nanny. He texted Niall while Cece ate.
Someone should, Harry. By all means YOU should. But I’ll handle it if you cannot.
Harry scowled and threw his phone aside. “Sorry m’gonna kill Uncle Niall, Cece,” he told her. “But he’s stupid.”
The routine became easy. Breakfast with Harry, tummy time with Cece, cleaning during naptime, laundry at lunch time. At eleven in the morning, she sent Harry three pictures of his baby regardless of what she was doing which he didn’t respond to other than reacting with a heart to each of the pictures.
Cece loved Miss Honey. Her smile was bright when she saw her and her giggle was coming easier and easier while she played with her.
Niall is stopping by to grab something I left. He was already out. You can let him in.
Okay, thank you for the heads up.
Other than delivery drivers, people didn’t really come by. She hadn’t had friends over not that she necessarily wanted to have them over... not after her first family. From then, it was always kind of weird to have people visit someone else’s home to hang out with her. She preferred dinners or going to their houses. If Harry were to throw a party or cookout at his extravagant pool, she would invite her friends—at least that’s what she did with her previous family—but Harry didn’t seem much like a party-thrower.
“Hello?” The Irish voice sang into the house. “Miss Cece, where are you?” He called.
She smiled and brought the baby toward the front door holding her in front of her stomach. Cece giggled at the sight of Uncle Niall. “Who’s that, Cece?” She asked pressing her lips on to the top of her soft hair. “Is that Uncle Niall? Did Uncle Niall come to see you?” She kicked her feet and Niall looked like he was melting as he took her from Miss Honey. “Is it this folder?” She asked. “I found it in the garage,” she said. “It must have slipped out of his bag. When I took Cece to the store, I was going to swing by myself."
Niall was in awe. The house was clean—to be fair, it almost always was, but it was different now. Plus it smelled like the citrusy fall candle she was burning on the counter; only adding to the fresh clean feeling of his friend’s place. Whatever was cooking in the oven smelled delicious. “Do you... cook for him?” Niall asked.
She blushed. “Well, it’s mainly for me, but obviously there aren’t a ton of recipes for one person, so I always have extra,” she rationalized. “I cooked for my old family.”
Niall bounced Cece as he looked around. There was a throw blanket on the sofa adorned with leaves and it’s fall y’all patterned across it. that wasn’t there before. Along with some fall pillows. It matched the little pumpkins on the side tables and the leaf and flower centerpiece on the coffee table. Harry had decorations? “Did Harry buy those throw pillows?”
“I... I have this tendency to fall asleep on the sofa watching movies and wanted something softer than the sofa arm,” she felt weird explaining all this to Niall. “I should probably get them out of here and back in my room. Did Harry say something? He doesn’t like it?”
Harry hadn’t mentioned it. Which was insane because when Cece’s mom wanted all new living room furniture in the middle of her pregnancy, Niall wasn’t sure Harry was going to let her live at his house after all. Harry was very particular and liked things to be his way. “No, no. He’s fine. It just looks...cozy,” he said. “It’s nice he’s got a woman’s touch that he likes,” Niall said encouragingly.
Her phone vibrated on the counter and she glanced at her watch reading the message. Can you tell Niall to let go of my daughter and get his ass back here before I fire him?
She smiled sending a thumbs up in response. “I believe you’re going to be fired.”
“What a drama queen,” Niall muttered. “I love you more than Dada does,” he cooed and kissed Cece sweetly on the cheek. “You should decorate the outside, too,” Niall said as he handed the baby back to her. “Harry would like it,” he smiled. “If you have a ton of leftovers, send them for lunch with Harry tomorrow. With the way it smells, I bet it would taste delicious reheated as well... Bye Cece!” He waved and blew a kiss at her.
“Say bye Uncle Niall,” she cooed shaking her head at Harry’s best friend. She waved Cece’s hand for her. “Bye Uncle Niall.”
*
His office door slapped open against the wall, and he looked up from his desk even though he didn’t need to.
“Niall’s here,” his secretary called. He rolled his eyes.
“You love her,” Niall gushed.
“I do not,” Harry scowled defensively at his paperwork in front of him. “Love who?”
“Your nanny obviously.”
“I absolutely do not,” he shook his head. “I am not in love with someone I employ.”
“So we’re not in love either?” Niall frowned.
“Do you have something you need, Mr. Horan?” Harry deadpanned.
Niall rolled his eyes. “Harry, she’s sweet, funny, and intelligent,” he listed. “Not to mention your house has never looked cleaner nor cozier and she can cook.”
Harry used to order out each night since he was too tired to cook when he got home. Then with Cece, it made even more sense. But now, since he was very much glued to his schedule of coming home on time for dinner so he could see Cece before bed and relieve Miss Honey of her duties for the evening.
He hadn’t anticipated her making dinner for him. In fact, he hadn’t anticipated much of anything she did for him. He thought taking care of Cece was going to be it. The cleaning and cooking was beyond what he expected.
He ignored Niall.
“And hello? She’s good with Cece.”
She was great with Cece actually. But he wasn’t going to give into Niall’s teasing. He continued looking at his computer screen ignoring all the reasons Harry thought she was perfect as well but had to ignore because he would rather die than ruin what he had with her for the sake of his daughter. There was no one better to trust Cece with—even after a month or so of her working, it was obvious. He was so sure there wasn’t anyone better. “Also, she was going in the pool when I got there, so she was in this itty, bitty bikini—” Harry’s gaze snapped to Niall and his eye twitched as he scowled again. “I was joking, but I think I’ve proven my point.”
“I’m not in love,” he grumbled. Harry didn’t love anyone beyond his baby girl, his company, and his family.
“Say it all you want. But I’m not the one that got his underwear in a twist over the thought of seeing her in a bikini when it’s not summer anymore." Harry ignored him still. "You let her decorate," he reminded him.
"We have similar tastes," Harry mumbled not wanting to let on that he didn't give two shits if the house was decorated but when he came home from work watching her sip hot apple cider on his sofa and reading a book to Cece, he wanted to move to a place where it was fall all year round.
"Are you going to let her decorate the outside of your house for Halloween?”
He was not in love. “It’s a holiday,” he reminded Niall. “I want Cece t'have a—”
“Uh-huh. Sure. It’s definitely for Cece... by the way, make sure I get the leftovers from dinner tomorrow. I already asked Miss Honey,” he said. “Here’s your folder,” he laid it on his desk and left with a wave and mischievous smile. "She found it in the garage and was going to swing by herself. Because in case you haven't noticed, she's perfect."
If there were leftovers of whatever delicious thing she had decided to cook, Harry was going to throw them in the middle of the road on his way to work just to spite him.
*
The weekend was unfortunately eventful.
Cece fussed a ton. Harry sighed when the monitor alerted him to her waking. He got up and headed to her crib where he spent several minutes rubbing her little belly as he watched her. “Y’need t’sleep, Miss Cecelia,” he smiled at her tiredly. It was nearly one in the morning, and he had been fortunate enough to have Cece sleeping soundly overall for the last couple months. But for whatever reason, her little cries woke him up today.
He checked his phone and noted there was an alert from the front door camera. He saw two people standing under the entrance. His favorite nanny and a man that he didn’t recognize.
Given the situation, this was suddenly and very much her house as much as Harry's. As evident by the pumpkin décor on the steps visible in the video as well. So she could do what she wanted. Even if that meant going on a date.
Even if that meant Harry was painfully aware of how upset that made him.
Her arms were wrapped around her stomach and Harry felt something painful ache in his stomach. She looked completely uncomfortable. The guy leaned closer toward her, forcing her to step back until she was against the side of the entryway. Harry’s blood boiled. She pressed a hand against his chest, maintaining distance between them. He couldn’t take his eyes away from the screen and briefly noted he forgot about Cece’s waking. But Cece was asleep again. Therefore, Harry was able to worry about the other woman that lived in his house. He quickly sent her a text before he kept his eyes glued to the camera. If this was some kind of flirting thing, fine. He would confront the boiling jealousy in the comfort of his own bed. But Harry had a sister, female friends, female employees and now a daughter. He knew when someone was uncomfortable.
The camera signaled someone was outside, so I checked the feed... Are you okay?
He didn't want to listen in. There was a boundary he wasn’t willing to cross. Fortunately, she pulled her phone from her pocket and read the message--clearly looking for a distraction and further fueling his worry. Without answering, she tucked her phone back in her pocket and Harry thought that he was overreacting. She was fine. He just needed to go to bed.
But then, she shook her head repeatedly, slowly.
Harry dropped his phone on Cece’s floor where it landed on the rug with a quiet thud. He took off downstairs nearly missing the last step before he was at the front door, yanking it out of the way blindingly fast. She jumped at the sudden movement in the middle of the night—even though she only saw Harry’s message seconds before. “I’m sorry to interrupt,” he lied. He was very grateful to interrupt. “Cece has been awake, and I’ve tried—”
“No problem,” she rushed out not even glancing at the man. She brushed passed Harry hurriedly.
The guy blinked in surprise at her quick departure. He tried to peek behind Harry’s frame that blocked most of his view. “I’ll call—”
Harry smacked the door shut and waited for him to leave—watched him walk to the end of the driveway where he waited for an Uber for three minutes. She sighed, putting her hands on the back of her head, breathing heavily. “Harry, I’m so sorry,” she whispered. She began pacing behind him, but Harry’s eyes didn’t move from the end of his driveway. “He was completely fine and then I needed to Uber and—”
“I told you not t’Uber,” he scowled at the window beside the door waiting for the man to disappear.
“Well, it was one in the morning, and I don’t know how your driver situation works—”
“Then you call me,” his voice was rougher than he wanted it to be. The thought of something happening to her hurt. Hurt a lot.
She ignored him, feeling guilty but trying to explain her side of things. “My friend had left with a guy she met, and she was my ride. I didn’t even know she left,” her voice cracked. “I Uber all the time, Harry. Alone at night, I don’t care...it’s... whatever... But he was insistent. He wanted to make sure I made it home safely. Which didn’t set off any alarm bells and I pride myself on having a good gauge of that kind of thing. So, I didn’t think anything of it. I thought he was just being a gentleman. When he got out of the car and the driver took off...” she shook her head. “I’m just so sorry. I didn’t know—” Her voice cracked again, harsher this time. Then she pressed her lips into a line as she looked down. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered trying to force the tears to stay behind her lids.
The man was gone from the edge of his driveway. Harry shook his head confused how she could be apologizing for literally nothing. She didn’t do anything wrong. “What are y’apologizing for?”
“For him coming back here! I don’t bring people back to the house I’m living in for free. I would never want to put someone like that within a three-mile radius of Cece. I was just trying to get him to leave and I—” her voice choked off again.
“Love,” he said gently. “S’okay,” he promised reassuringly. “Y’can invite friends over. I wouldn’t really want him, but it sounds like we’re on the same page.”
She sniffled, breaking Harry’s heart. “I’m so sorry,” she repeated.
“Did he hurt you?” Harry asked. She shook her head. “I need a verbal answer, love.”
“No, he didn’t hurt me,” she whispered. Barely loud enough for him to hear.
“You’re sure?”
She nodded. “I was just trying to think of a way to get inside without him following me,” she whimpered. “He just wouldn’t shut up about how nice it would be to...” her tears started to flow. She shook her head. “I’m so sorry,” she sobbed.
Harry didn’t think. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed up and down her back. “S’okay,” he promised. “You’re okay,” he repeated. “You could have banged on the door or something,” he assured her.
She sniffled. “I didn’t want to wake the baby.”
He smiled softly. Of course she didn’t. “Please call the driver next time. Day or night. I should’ve told y’that,” he murmured. “It would make me feel better. And he’ll only let y’have someone else in the car with you if y’say so,” he promised.
She nodded. “Okay.”
“You’re allowed t’have a life here, love,” he promised. “Friends, dates, whatever y’want.”
“Well, I’m not dating for a while,” that was fine by Harry. Gently, she pulled from Harry’s embrace, and he felt completely cold. It wasn’t from his lack of clothes either.
She wiped her eyes. “Do y’want me to...get y’anything?” He asked.
She shook her head of the thought. “No, I’m sorry to have interrupted your sleep—”
“Don’t be. But y’didn’t. Cece was up, I was checking on her when I saw m’phone’s notification,” he explained. “But even if she wasn’t up... I wouldn’t have minded,” he promised. “Really.”
Her eyes trailed over Harry’s body. It hadn’t occurred to her that he was wearing nothing but boxers. His shoulders were broad, his arms were taut with lean muscles that didn’t bulge massively but were still beautifully sculpted. His hair was in disarray, probably from his pillow. His stomach was flat, ridged with muscles, and covered with tattoos. “I didn’t realize you had so many tattoos.”
He smirked. “Yeah, um...guilty pleasure of mine.”
Harry really shouldn’t say pleasure around her. It made her think of things that would give her immense pleasure. Like the boxers that outlined a plump dick (which wasn’t even fully hard it seemed. Jesus Christ, she wondered if she was going to get pregnant just from looking at it) and showed off his muscular thighs. She shook her head trying to keep her eyes focused on anything other than Harry’s groin area. “I um... thank you,” she whispered. “For getting me.”
“Of course, love. Any time,” he promised. “I know y’work for me and I respect your commitment and seriousness t’your job. It’s something I value in m’employees at the office too. But Niall also works with me too and he’s m’best friend and he’s very comfortable asking me t’bail him out of dicey situations. So if y’need something, y’jus’ have t’ask.”
She nodded. “Okay... thank you,” she repeated. “Good night, Harry.”
“Good night, Miss Honey.”
*
Harry was frustrated. It was a busy time of year, so he had been staying an hour, sometimes two later than he was supposed to. He ate reheated food that she had cooked (which was still delicious) but mostly he was upset because he wasn’t getting to see Cece before bed. The pictures she sent in the afternoon and just before bed helped but didn’t make up for the real thing. He missed his daughter.
And honestly? If he was real with himself, he missed eating dinner with the pretty woman that was kind enough to make dinner in the first place. He missed watching an episode of whatever show she liked before she went for a swim in the pool and then to read in her room. Up until Harry had started staying late, she had gone for a swim every night and Harry was in awe. The pool was heated sure, but the air was cold. But she was insistent—all to get her laps in so she could work out. Now, when he got home, she was already in her room. Only coming out to say hello, give the lowdown on bedtime and making sure he knew which food was for Niall the next morning.
It seemed she wasn’t dating, so at least Harry had that. Even though he told her she could, he was glad she wasn't. It wasn’t right or fair of him to feel that way, but he couldn’t help it. The few times he saw her out in the pool in a bathing suit (that was not an itty-bitty bikini like Niall had described) he felt possessive. If she had an itty-bitty bikini, Harry thought he might lose his mind--the pretty one piece with a cutout created by a crisscrossing bow around her middle was tantalizing enough. He didn’t let his gaze linger for long (he didn’t want to be creepy) but he thought back to the guy that followed her home and terrified her. No one deserved her kindness. No one deserved to see her vulnerable and alone in anything less than what she wanted. She made Cece feel safe. She made Harry feel safe.
“Why don’t you go home?” Niall suggested. “You’ve been staying late all week, and I know you miss Cece. Take a half day, go spend some time with your daughter. Or even Miss Honey,” he wiggled his eyebrows.
Harry shook his head. “I already took a ton of time off—”
“For a very good reason! Harry,” Niall sighed. “You have an adorable baby daughter. She’s only going to be little for so long. You need to enjoy it.”
With that thought, Harry couldn’t get out of his office fast enough. He entered the house using the keycode. It didn’t even faze her. If someone used the code, then she assumed it was someone who was allowed to be there. But also, the sound of the vacuum cleaner was humming and creating more noise than she could have heard with the door opening and closing. But she must have sensed it because she glanced over her shoulder and smiled finishing the spot she was working on. Harry could make out the wrap around her body while she vacuumed. Wearing Cece like a body ornament. It was adorable. “I could hire someone for that, y’know,” he called over the droning noise.
She turned the vacuum off and turned around showing off the little babe at the same time. She kicked her feet. Harry thought his heartstrings were going to snap with how much love flooded him. Someone that loved him so unconditionally. It felt like he didn’t deserve it.
“You’re home early,” she smiled and loosened the wrap around her and pulled the headphones off her little head to keep her ears safe from the vacuum sound. “Is Dada home to play, Cece?” She smiled excitedly. “Is Dada here to play?” She repeated, passing her to Harry. Cece immediately settled into his embrace, making his heart hurt. Niall was right, this was well worth it.
“I was just going to do laundry,” she said. “Do you want anything to eat?” She asked.
“I have people who could do your laundry,” he told her, his lips attached to the crown of Cece’s head. “And y’don’t need t’do my laundry either,” he frowned. “Or Cece’s.”
“Yes, but you are saving money by letting me do it. I’m all about coupons. I’m like a BOGO sale, you know? For a business owner, you don’t see a good deal when presented.”
He rolled his eyes. Niall listed a lot of great qualities about her. But he didn’t list how stubborn she was. Especially when it came to things like using the driver or doing his laundry. Harry wanted to shake her sometimes.
“Niall said you have a business trip next weekend?”
His eyes snapped to meet hers. “You talk to Niall?” Like regularly? Casually?
He was so going to fire him.
“Yes,” she smiled and then laughed to herself, a private joke Harry wasn't privy to.
“What?”
“It’s nothing. Niall’s just funny.”
Harry was going to kill him. Then fire him.
“Oh?”
“He just he tells me he’s going to marry me if I keep making such good food for him to eat.”
So fired.
“Speaking of,” she continued while Harry let that linger in silence. “Little miss needs to eat,” she said. “I can do it if you want—”
“Thank you,” he was sincerely appreciative. “But I have it covered,” he smiled. “You can take the rest of the afternoon to yourself if you’d like.”
She smiled. “That would be great. I just have a few more things to do but I’ve been dying to go to the bookstore. They’re having a sale on all paperbacks,” her eyes glowed.
Harry smiled. “Sounds lovely.”
“Just shout if you need something.”
Harry went to the kitchen, took the bottle that was warmed and ready on the counter (she must have just put it out while she was vacuuming nearby).
You cannot flirt with my nanny. He texted Niall while Cece drank from her bottle.
Someone should, Harry. By all means YOU should. But I’ll handle it if you cannot.
Harry scowled and threw his phone aside at the pretty fall throw pillows. “Sorry m’gonna kill Uncle Niall, Cece,” he told her. “But he’s stupid.”
*
Harry often found himself defaulting to her and all her knowledge. She had a background in psychology, as that was what she studied in college—a concentration in child development. All of which he knew from her application. Harry was well educated, but he would never feign to have more knowledge that he didn’t have.
Which is why when Cece continued to fuss and fuss more than she had since she’d been born, Harry didn’t know what to do.
“Love?” He knocked on the door. It was two in the morning, and she was obviously well off the clock. Harry battled for several minutes trying to decide if it was worth it. He didn't want to bother her, but frankly, he was exhausted. But she answered anyway, hurriedly.
She was wearing a pair of leggings and a blue tank top. One that was thin and made Harry’s stomach ache with desire. Something lower ached with desire too. But fortunately, he had enough foresight to put on a pair of sweats before waking her. She rubbed her eye looking like a toddler coming to their parents’ bedroom. Her hair tie had fallen from her braid letting the strands fall haphazardly out of the twist.
He thought about kissing her. God he shouldn’t have allowed himself to be alone in the middle of the night with her.
Gratefully, Cece called out. Reminding him of why he had woken her up in the first place.
“What’s wrong?”
“Can you check on her? She’s so fussy. I don’t know if m’doing something wrong?” It killed him that the baby was fussing. He hated to wake her almost as much. However, she didn’t even bat an eye to it and hurried to Cece’s room. “I’m sorry,” he said softly.
“Don’t be,” she yawned. “I was... actually reading,” she smiled. “I shouldn’t be, but I can’t put the book down.”
How was that so hot sounding? It shouldn’t have been. He had watched her read on the couch a hundred times. But it was hot. So hot he was glad there was an extra layer to hide how it made him feel.
Harry was glad he was going away for the weekend. He needed to clear his head of the pretty girl that was invading his every thought when he had no right to think of her that way. “Oh yeah, Miss Cece just wants to party, huh, sweet girl?” She smiled and pulled her from the crib and hummed. “Daddy has to work early tomorrow, Cece. can have our own party tomorrow, okay? But Daddy’s got to sleep,” she whispered. “I know you’re a party girl,” she cooed. “But you can’t party when you’re sleepy,” she reminded her.
Harry was not thinking of it like that but the way she said Daddy (twice) made his chest ache with something he wasn’t used to feeling. It probably didn’t help that her tank top did little to hide two hardened, protruding bumps on her chest that made Harry want to lick his lips (and her). He was going to turn the heat up before bed because it must have been chilly.
Harry tried to keep his gaze PG, but she was so pretty, he was thanking himself for the moment of clarity he had that made him put on pants because he wouldn’t be able to hide the way he felt about seeing her sleepy and beautiful.
Fuck Niall and his stupid observations. He is so fired when I get back from my trip.
After a few more hums and coos, Cece fell back to sleep. She kissed her hair and gently laid her back in the crib. “She’s almost four months, of course—she might be hitting a little sleep regression. It’s perfectly normal. I’ll do some research and see what I can do to help alleviate—”
“Thank you,” he felt exhausted. Sleep deprived and sad about leaving—even if it was just for the weekend. “Seriously. Thank you.”
She smiled. “Of course, Harry. That’s what I’m here for. Probably a good time to stop my book too,” she reached out and squeezed his arm. “Get some sleep. I’ll have breakfast in the morning before you fly out,” she promised.
“I didn't mean t'interrupt your book,” he said softly. “Y'don’t have t'get up earlier, she can lay in bed for a bit,” he offered.
“Oh no, it’s fine. I’ll just nap when she naps,” she shrugged. "Cece will want to see you before you leave," she smiled so effortlessly. Like Cece would really know if he was gone. But the way she said it made him believe it. She squeezed Harry's forearm. “Goodnight, Harry,” she said sweetly.
*
Harry was staring at Cece like she was going to disappear while he fed her. She gently pushed the cup of tea she made him (with three sugars) in front of him. “I haven’t left her once for this long,” Harry reminded her.
“I know,” she frowned. “She’ll be fine,” she assured him.
“I know.”
“Really, Harry. I won’t let anything happen to her. I love her beyond belief,” she promised.
But Harry felt something creep into his stomach. Something that felt like an overwhelming urge to kiss her. A way that had him aching to make Cece a sibling and he thought that maybe he could shift the real estate in his heart that was reserved for his company and open it for someone else. He shook his head as if a bug had flown in his eye. Ridding himself of the unrealistic thought that was wriggling it's way into ever inch of his mind.
No, he didn’t love her.
That would be ridiculous.
It took her two weeks to figure out what Harry liked to eat for breakfast most. As stubborn as Harry was, she was more so. Every day she made something new: omelets, waffles, French toast, everything he could think of, she tried. But when she told him she was going to make crepes, he stopped her and told her: just scrambled eggs and toast.
So, she made him scrambled eggs, toast, and sliced up some avocado on the side. “Thank you, love. Y'really didn’t need to.”
“I have it on good authority you rarely eat until like two in the afternoon if I don’t feed you,” she smiled. “Happy to help,” she promised. Because that’s what she did. Helped and helped and helped.
“Why don’t y’tell your friend m’going t’fire him if y’don’t stop talking t’him.”
She laughed and Harry enjoyed the sound more than he thought possible. “Niall?! Shouldn’t you fire me?”
He shook his head. “No way, love. You’re the best there is for Cece, you’re stuck here,” he smirked. Her heart fluttered and she realized she hadn’t spoken as Harry glanced at her. He cleared his throat. “I mean... as long as you like it here,” he attempted to recover (poorly).
“I love it here,” she nodded excitedly. That beautiful smile that Harry had honed in on during her interview spread across her beautiful face. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Thank you,” he smiled. Genuinely.
It took every ounce of Harry’s shaky control to keep himself from saying he would miss her too, while he was gone. Maybe as much as he would miss Cece.
*
It was only a two-night stay. But the first night was hardest. He called as soon as his last meeting finished. He watched her play with Cece through the video call. When her phone died, it took five minutes for her to get rebooted. She grabbed her laptop to continue the call and set it up on the floor for Harry to see Cece during her tummy time.
Cece didn’t seem to notice much that Harry was on the computer screen. In fact, she didn’t pay much attention to either of them while they chatted at all. Even when Cece fell asleep, he found himself asking her all kinds of questions about school and work. How she decided to become a nanny and the like. He asked about her family and if she missed them. Her family was still hours and hours away from her, so he was confused as to why she wouldn’t move with the previous family she nannied for.
“Truthfully?” She sighed. “I love this coast so much,” she smiled fondly. “I grew up here and I went to school here. I loved my nanny family, but there’s just something about it here,” she explained. “My family kind of... they don't..." she sighed. "They don't visit much and I think they would come up to visit even less if I lived across the country. I adore my family. They mean so much to me. It would have been hard to be even further away from them.”
Harry wanted to hold her and never let go. This woman loved hard. Harder than anyone he knew.
Eventually, when it was so much later than it should have been to be chatting on the phone with someone he was employing to take care of his daughter, without talking about said daughter, Harry said goodnight and got ready for bed. As he brushed his teeth, he opened his text messages.
Niall...
Yes, Harry? It’s eleven and I’m in bed.
... she’s perfect.
Who Cece?
...
No shit, Harry. You’re an idiot.
When Harry closed his eyes, he couldn’t help but think of her.
*
When Harry returned home, he rushed through the door, dropping his bags and hurrying to the living room. Harry was on the floor beside the coffee table where he showered Cece in kisses all over her little face. The only pause he had was looking at the lovely girl giggling on the couch at their reunion. “Ugh, Cece, you’re making me jealous! I wish someone would be that happy to see me when they get home,” she giggled.
But Harry couldn’t let her think that for a moment longer. He crossed the room, pulled the book from her hands and straddled her, locking her in place. He cupped her face before she could question anything and kissed her. Kissed her long and hard. Eventually he nestled his hips between her thighs. “I like you so much. I’m so happy t’see you when I get home,” he groaned peppering her face and skin with more kisses. “I trust you with everything. You have my whole world most of the day. And... when I get home m’so happy t'see Cece. But love, m’thrilled t'see you as well”
“Harry,” she whispered. “She’s right there."
“She's not looking,” his voice was husky as he pulled on the neck of the blue tank top that stared in all his dreams. He tugged it down her chest a bit hoping to see those pretty, hardened—
The phone call waking him up for the day put him nearly in a cold sweat. “Ugh,” he moaned reaching blindly for the nightstand for the phone. He pulled the phone to his ear. “Hello?” He grumbled.
“Hello, Mr. Styles this is your wake-up cal—”
He smacked the phone back into the receiver and begged for the dream to come back before it went away. What was underneath that tank top? He glanced at the clock. If he fucked his hand, he wouldn’t have time to shave. That wasn’t very business owner of him. Or maybe it was. He was CEO, the meetings wouldn’t start without him.
“Fuck it,” he muttered and wrapped his hand around his hard dick. Maybe he shouldn’t have, but he pretended he knew what was hiding beneath the thin tank top of the woman who lived in his house.
*
The weather fucked him royally. He was supposed to be home that evening. Supposed to be eating dinner with his little baby and the pretty nanny. It felt completely unfair that the weather had made it so he would be stuck in a stupid airport, and he would have to go directly to work in the morning.
“Hey, it’s okay,” she promised. “Maybe you can take the day off later in the week,” she suggested. “Actually... I was going to ask you if it was possible for you to do that anyway, so maybe this works out. Or maybe your mom—” He knew she was trying to distract him. Which he was grateful for but he was still so frustrated.
"What do y'need?" He asked, his voice stiff. He didn't mean for it to be. He was just upset.
She cleared her throat. “I just have some appointments I’ve been rescheduling over and over trying to find a day that's best for them. I don’t want to make you take the day off, but I know you’ve been nervous about your trip. I’ve been waiting—”
“Of course,” he said hurriedly. “Which day?”
“Wednesday, if possible. If not I can reschedule again.”
“Sure,” he’d take the whole week off if she asked. Cece time and helping the perfect angel? She didn’t need to say anything else.
“Thank you, Harry," the gratitude in her voice made him ache.
“You’ve worked nonstop for almost two months, love. Y’do more than I ever expected. S’least I could do. Plus, staying home with m’daughter isn’t a bad thing.”
She smiled. “She misses you,” she promised. Harry was pretty sure Cece wouldn’t know if he was away or not; work or overnight stay irrelevant. But it was nice she was saying it for his benefit. “She does, I swear,” she continued, somehow understanding his silence. “Especially at bedtime and when she wakes up. Little Miss doesn’t sleep well without you here,” she cooed. Harry imagined her holding the baby on his couch looking utterly comfortable and natural.
“Well tell her I miss her, love her, and kiss her for me too.”
She pressed a bunch of kisses to her skin loud enough for Harry to hear and that soft little giggle as well. Harry smiled, feeling marginally better about his cancelled flight. “See you tomorrow, love.”
“Can you say, bye bye Daddy,” she whispered. “Come on you can do it,” she encouraged. It was much too early and of course she knew that, but Harry loved that she tried anyway.
He wanted to tell Cece to give her a kiss from him as well.
--
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#I'm def an autumn girly 🤭#I think Narry is my ultimate couple tbh; niall def would be jealous 😂#I love to make harry jealous of him; toxic trait of mine I think#i think harry would be one of those men who walk women to their dorm at night if they happened upon him#so calling him? easy peasy#def a party girl!#he can deny it all he wants but he adores her#thank you for all your sweet and kind notes 💕
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thinking about making another art progress video for Instagram and never posting the results
again
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hii pretty!! i enjoy reading your posts a lot <33 i wanted to ask how you think the spn boys (gabe included if you want) would react to a reader whos very flirty in general to the point where they can't tell if they're for real or just playing (if it makes sense?) thank youuu 💘
Flirty (SPN pref!) 🩷
a/n: this is my toxic trait i flirt with everyone
warnings: nothing! kind of suggestive. sorry if spelling is bad i just did my nails and they’re interesting and long 💀💀💀💀
Dean:
Dean battles your flirts by being equally flirty
He thinks he fooled you until you keep flirting with him
he said
“oh?”
gets to a point where you got him blushing and kicking his feet like a schoolgirl
he’s confused but one day he just decided to cut your flirting off with a kiss and when you don’t pull away he decides that he won the battle
—
Sam:
every time you flirt with Sam he just does a system shutdown
he literally just stares at you and blushes
at first he would just giggle
but now he dosent know what to do bc he’s just flabbergasted
so he starts flirting back but it’s bad bc he dosent know what he’s doing💀💀💀
love him please
kiss him
—
Castiel:
Cas prolly dosent even realize that ur flirting with him until someone says something
then he gets flustered and has a system shutdown and never knows when ur flirting or just being nice
esp if you steal his clothes and become flirty
oooooooomg
he’s breaking
—
Crowley:
Crowley is just smirking and giggling
like yes please continue flirting with him
he dosent know whether to flirt along or let it go because he dosent want to make you uncomfy
but at some point he just kisses you and you just go with it
he isn’t patient
—
Gabriel:
he flirts just as much
like eyes up and down ur body and touching and flirting and EVERYTHINGG
he def one ups your flirts
he’s so cute
he makes jokes just for you
and never pranks you meanly
he’s a flirtatious man fr
#love u mwah#thank you sm for this request#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#sam winchester x reader#castiel#castiel x reader#sam winchester#crowley#crowley x reader#supernatural#supernatural imagine#supernatural x reader#sam winchester supernatural#castiel supernatural#dean winchester supernatural#gabriel x reader#gabriel spn
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i just read ur bf josh futturman headcannons and they were so good omg 🤭 u think u can write more? there’s barely anything for him and i just need to read more of my loser bf 😓
YESS OFC!!
here are some quick ones until i write better ones up later!! i love futturman i plan on writing a whole series for him lol.
bf!futturman would most def do like, everything for you. he’d treat you so well to the point that you’d get frustrated with him, finding him doing small miscellaneous things you can do by yourself. rather it was hanging your fresh laundry for you, hanging your towel up for you, or even bending down to quickly tie your shoes before you could, he was at your service.
bf!futturman is also extremely insecure sometimes. he can’t fathom that someone like you could love him as much as you do, let alone want to be with him forever. his toxic trait is that he gets jealous really easily, so sometimes he’d go snooping through your stuff….. but then would guiltily admit it all to you. he never means any harm, instinct takes over.
bf!futturman is a cuddler. at night, he is all up in your space. you do not get even an inch of personal space. he’d either be tucked up behind you, spooning you in his arms or he’s the one curled up, not minding being held as you play with his hair. he’s a sweet man who is sensitive, he just likes how connected he feels. he also loves skin to skin, loves to feel your body against his, and not even in a sexual way.
bf!futturman is bad with words but tries his best to get better. at first, actual genuine emotion scares the shit out of him. he’s awful at expressing his love verbally and typically opts to do small acts for you. as your relationship grew, however, he became better and better about it. he felt safer and more comfortable. he was able to let his guard down, words he thought he’d never understand the meaning to beginning to flow from his mouth on occasion, his brain in absolute awe of the way your eyes lit up as he spoke, your cheeks turning bright red as he’d talk about the way you sway your hips or the way your eyes sparkle. he loved making you feel good.
#josh futturman fluff#josh futturman smut#josh futturman imagine#josh futturman x reader#josh hutcherson x reader#josh futturman#future man fluff#future man imagine#future man x reader#future man#mike schmidt#mike schmidt fluff#mike schmidt x reader#mike schmidt imagine#josh hutcherson#josh hutcherson fanfic#josh hutcherson fluff#josh hutcherson imagine#mike schmidt smut
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Women are all over jay when you too go out and you're super jealous. You make sure he knows he's yours when you get home and he is all for it
okay this !!! bc jealousy is lowk my toxic trait iwl
but listen, jason is well over 6 ft, built, and he’s walking around just gorgeous all the time, women flock to him. but he’s def the kind of boyfriend that’s like “you’re not my girl? die.” like he don’t play about you at allllll. girls flirt with him and he’s just like “wow. my girlfriend would definitely kill you” but it doesn’t meant you don’t get jealous. and when you do he can always tell bc you probably mark him up more during sex & you insist on being on top of him but he loves it. “cmon angel, you know i’m all yours.. nobody else makes me feel this good” and he means it, but he likes to spur you on sometimes too “take what you want princess come on…show me who i belong to yeah? really work for it.”
but afterwards he always reminds you that if he ever even opens his mouth to entertain another woman he’d want you to cut out his tongue
#. . . curated by mara#. . . maras mailbox#jason todd x black!reader#jason todd smut#black!fem!reader#jason todd x reader#jason todd x reader smut#jason todd x y/n
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The moment I crush on someone I get icked out by them so easily lol. It’s def a toxic trait, but it’s almost like I don’t want to get to know them. The fantasy version is usually so much doper than the real one in my eyes. I literally don’t wanna see them operate as a real person
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replying to asks abt the Drama today so pls skip if you're fully over that salfgjlagf (and bl 'tricky asks' to not see me respond to stuff like this - but I always put under a cut as well!)
oh my god this is a whole epic jfc and I'm p sure I repeat myself a lot I'm sorry <3
and for anyone who sees the walls of text below and is like pls tl;dr it for me bitch: today is one of multiple examples proving that Lando and Oscar are exceptionally able to maintain perspective and genuine consideration of each other given their situations and their ages. and that while they, like all teammates, will have ups and downs that they are FAR from the kinds of teammates to ever let the bad times linger or fester. I'm not going to be participating in flipping out or overreacting to it when it does inevitably happen but that it hasn’t even happened today! so I just don’t see a point in projecting the rare examples of melodramatic teammates onto Lando and Oscar as teammates. esp today when they both could quite easily have sniped at each other a bit even indirectly and yet they didn't! Lando at the team? absolutely! but like for anyone feeling sad or upset in terms of the landoscar of it all, I'm genuinely baffled ?? bc I'm personally out here impressed yet again at how well they've handled this ?? so yea <3
just to say, if you're someone who truly loves the Epic Highs and Lows of Formula One then good on you and continue having fun! some people live for The Drama and obv I'm not addressing or criticizing that at all!
but since I'm out here being regularly openly insane about landoscar and I've gotten these asks and seen people feeling upset, I def feel like it’s fair that I bring reality and reason into my posts as well being stupid akfgsalfg
so I've grown up with F1 passively in the background of my life (as in on the main TV in my house) and I'm still mostly a fake, but I've picked up some things over the years and one of them is that the average set of teammates aren't the melodrama ones. most teammates who enjoy genuine competitive closeness on the track just tick each other off sometimes but mostly like each other and hang out a bit - overall the average dynamic ranges from mildly indifferent to good buddies.
(brocedes and sebmark are outliers for a reason. and they did NOT just turn bad overnight. that toxic soup was brewing from the very start. but more about that later in this gigantic ass essay)
so once I realized last season that Lando and Oscar genuinely like each other and weren't gonna pop off over everything, my assumption has always been that they would have their tiffs and snipe to the press or avoid each other for periods but then get over it and go back to liking each other again - rinse and repeat! from a driver’s pov it's way more enjoyable and preferable to NOT be fighting w the guy you spend so much time and share a car with.
but !! that didn't happen and hasn't happened! with Lando and Oscar it very quickly went beyond just passively okay w each other - they've made active choices to show respect and fairness and consideration that for me has truly been exceptional.
and while I'm insane about them for narratives and rpf, the not insane part is how these two fit together so beautifully? like, Lando knows and says how his feelings and his brain can just take over sometimes and he struggles - that includes his feelings of anger and resentment. Oscar's primary trait is being calm and being able to be circumspect even under stress. Lando's actually said that he's learned from Oscar remaining calm. then you've got Oscar's 'hearteyes' and genuine admiration of Lando that shows up not in loud PR ways* but in quiet respect and standing back for Lando to shine and giving Lando his full dues. over time, Lando's come to 'hearteyes' right back bc of the respect and ngl genuine affection he feels for Oscar's fairness and respectfulness and his persistence in showing up and being happy for Lando no matter what. like, none of that requires embellishment and it's said by pretty much everyone including each other!
so to me, that means that when they do inevitably have 'moments' at the front of the pack together in future they'll ofc be grumpy w each other or resentful but it'll all be okay once they've cooled off.
but !! that was not today !! my entire day of reblogging is just a nonstop bam bam bam of them looking out for each other in the face of this drama and taking care to not feed the media who have been dying for them to hate each other since day one. Oscar apologizing and if anything being less celebratory today than he was in Monaco for his second place. keeping the post race short and simple** and not going over the top celebrating after the team photo. Lando repeating in his post races that Oscar deserved the win and that he didn't want the issues with team orders to overshadow that and literally reaching out to Oscar to say 'we're okay' right out of the car <3
so yea in the years they are teammates they will definitely have their off days and probably that'll happen at certain points this season - but genuinely ! it should not be taken for granted how mature and considerate and kind they've remained w each other since basically Austria last year ! that counts for a hell of a lot in terms of not assuming they're "over" every time team strategy screws one or both of them, or that they will become different people and suddenly cultivate melodrama.
and sure, anything can happen etc etc but I don’t see a point in just aimlessly waiting for the absolute worst to happen unless you actively want them to hate each other which seems like a huge waste of time but to each their own ldgfjlagfljsfg
guys… things like "why didn't he spray Oscar with champagne first" and "they had a moment where they weren't smiling" or "the cool down room was awkward" "Oscar didn't thank Lando like Lando did in Miami" “Oscar hasn’t liked such and such on instagram” is not only pointless self-torturing it's also all pretty easy to debunk by someone like me who follows a lot of teams and drivers and sees a ton of different sides to these things every weekend:
- as for the comment likes, Oscar hasn't liked everyone's comments that he should have - I did a quick pass and the standouts are he still hasn’t liked the comment from opeightyone (his own brand company!), still hadn't liked the Australian GP comment last time I checked, or Kym Ilman, literally a fellow Aussie who he talks to at every single race and who left a heartfelt comment. we need to give this poor guy a break and not ignore how much he was laughing and smiling with Lando just bc he’s struggling with the alerts on his phone !! (and as always, we have absolutely no way of knowing anymore when we can say how much the driver is doing vs what their sm team is doing. I saw in a story the other day that Lily had stopped doing her usual emoji replies to his posts for a while (she started up again after quali this weekend) and clearly there's been no issues between them so it's safe to say Oscar's sm officially isn't the true measure of his current relationships!)
- Lando and Oscar were already joking and smiling together before the champagne! so why would Lando then get mad and show it by not spraying him first? (EDIT: as an anon pointed out, when Lando runs over to the McLaren team member Oscar is laughing and follows him! so the plan was to drown the poor guy all along lol.) Lando and Lewis have a special bond from long before Oscar and Lewis and McLaren have had a bond even longer. if I hadn't seen ppl be upset about this I wouldn't have thought twice about Lando running to Lewis after having spend the first half the podium chatting to Oscar!
and just a quick side note, Lando had NO problem showing how mad he was before Oscar came into the cool down room when he threw down that hat and got huffy with Lewis when all Lewis did was say how fast the McLaren is! but every time Lando interacted with Oscar, he made sure to keep it together and be happy for him bc as he strenuously made clear in his interviews, his upset was at the team's directions but he didn't want it overshadowing Oscar's well-earned win. so if anything, view Lando rushing over to Lewis as an apology for somewhat biting his head off over a compliment lfgjflgsalf
- the drivers are exhausted and their default mode after a race is to be not smiling, like not even Lando smiled the entire time following his win. add to today that Lando hasn't been happy with second place for a long time and Oscar isn't an effusive guy and it's weird to think they'd be laughing and smiling nonstop.
- cool down rooms are literally always awkward ?? the drivers hate that there are cameras and conversation is always stilted. it’s where they go to … y'know, cool down, not get hyped lol
- Lando thanked Oscar in Miami bc Oscar showed what the car could do w his overtakes, guys. it was VERY sweet but it wasn't like 'thank you for my life Oscar' or even 'thank you for my win'. but even apart from that, Lando has fully taken on the rightful 'I'm the more established F1 star and the face of McLaren and it's my job to let the new guy know when he's done well' even back before he and Oscar had much of a relationship. but… and I’m about to spin off on this topic now… Lando does very well with this sometimes yes, but remember that the majority of his own feeds are also solely focused on himself like Oscar's and like most driver's are! and that he and Oscar both forget to like McLaren's content most of the time!
but also like……….
please let us please remember Oscar has the same rights to putting himself first as every other driver !! he may be remarkably mature and respectful to Lando and McLaren and exceptionally able to get over being set aside or even screwed over, but he's not a worm!
as far as questioning if him not 'thanking' Lando somehow negates his literally non-stop hearteyes-so-blatant-that-casuals-comment-on-it that he has for Lando every single week... guys.. Lily. like I'm positive he'll make a special post or story with her soon but he only said a quick "hi" to Lily after Ted brought her up and then did a generic thank you to everyone LIKE ?? the guy isn't even effusive about his beloved long time gf !! his love language is not in words* !!
but I also feel the need to bring smth up here bc there is a definite lean happening in some quarters of fandom into fully expecting and taking for granted Oscar's patience and maturity and ability to be happy for Lando no matter how much he's hurting or upset for himself. and I've got to raise everyone who says that the fact that Oscar is allowed to be like every other driver including Lando! he is allowed to feel frustrated or not be a perfect saint! in the earlier part of last year, Lando openly said he was uncomfortable being 'the older guy' and he frequently left Oscar in the lurch not knowing where to go or ignored Oscar to talk to or about his previous teammates. when Oscar hadn't been told the correct time for that major meeting shown in DTS, Lando was not hiding feeling fairly smug after Oscar said "is Lando already here?" and in Australia this year, Lando fully forgot to have anything to do with Oscar in what was literally Oscar’s home town and home country race to the point ! that in the podium drivers conference when a reporter brought up if Oscar was bummed about missing out on a podium, Lando stiffly said that he guessed anyone would want a podium on their home race - but he was far from sympathetic!
now before anyone thinks this is me having a go at Lando, I am not. I'm literally reminding the people who are reading too much into Oscar not saying thank you specifically to Lando in what was a much shorter and less exuberant overall race win celebration and post race video than Lando’s win was: it is not a big deal !! it is not some huge thing that Lando would even notice and that Lando has frequently chosen to not include or show gratitude to Oscar at times when we expected him to and !! it's fine because it really is fine !!
but when Oscar is seen to not cover every single base of gratitude and inclusion for Lando, for some fans it's A Problem or A Worry. and for some people, a broader thank you to the team and not specifically to Lando** is reason why Lando should despise Oscar forever and even consider leaving McLaren like the comments sections are insaaaane bro
these are two Normal Guys who are each living their Own Careers and while it's wonderful to enjoy the things that bond them and are special about them, they are still going to be Normal! and they will not view these tiny insignificant moments where they didn’t fully acknowledge the other with any magnitude at all! they are not expecting a level of devotion to each other that certain fans are! Oscar didn’t notice or care that Lando didn’t make anything special out of his home race and their pre-race fan stage was funny and sweet! Lando didn’t notice or even assume that Oscar should thank him specifically for team orders when Lando himself didn’t thank Oscar for team orders!
like I just cannot emphasize enough the importance of separating fun rpf narratives from reality. Lando tried to mess up Carlos’ parking job before the race as a joke to get back at him over the sign the day before - and then Carlos very firmly said that Lando absolutely should have given Oscar his place back and he even commented on one of Oscar’s posts despite not following him. this does not mean Carlos and Lando are beefing or that Carlos is being mean by going out of his way for Oscar! will I run with that single comment for carcar fodder absolutely - but that is fiction! nobody's mad at anybody!
and then there's the things that don't exist in Formula 1: "Oscar shouldn't have accepted the orders" "McLaren are out to get Lando" "Lando already gets too much hate"
- Oscar apologized for his pace and complications and he gave a very subdued little speech over the radio which was very big of him (and very wrong of McLaren to put him in that position) but if someone thinks any driver including Lando would even slightly imply "nah give the win to my teammate not me" then they’re categorically living on another plane of stan-ism that I can't comprehend. Lando literally said multiple times after this race how he has been the one to benefit from strategy working in his favor - both by McLaren and other teams. he's many many times made a cheeky face or made a joke when he's gotten away with something that fans of a rival driver or team were rightfully furious about. and if a person thinks it was mean when some ppl criticized the role that serendipity played in Miami then maybe that same person shouldn't start biting chunks out of Oscar about the same thing idk !!
Lando repeatedly said how much Oscar has done for him and if his Oscar-hating stans choose to think he's wrong or lying then idk !! he's being mature and fair so like, live n learn from your idol !
and can I just echo everyone saying 'please stop comparing this to brocedes or sebmark' or honestly even charlos? I'm doing bullet lists apparently so I'll do another one lafgljsafgsa
- brocedes is entirely due to their complicated and abnormally intimate lifelong history together leading up to F1. they were already Not Normal Friends and that made for the tinderbox that was their F1 careers together. literally they were destined to have to rupture that level of intimacy if they weren't going to just like get married to each other. they always needed to turn that relationship into something milder and less intense and it would always have exploded no matter what adult lives they had. F1 just made the explosion more violent and public. there’s truly no comparing them with anyone else.
- Oscar bears no resemblance to Mark and Lando bears no resemblance to Seb. Seb as he was in his heyday was... not shy or bashful about being a madman. sebmark never once looked like landoscar and it wasn't this huge revelation that that relationship would end up where it did !!
- Charles and Carlos have a negligible career/experience gap compared to Lando and Oscar and their temperaments are as much primed for friction as Lando and Oscar's are complimentary to each other. not to like 'they're so continental!' charlos but like, their already passionate natures got thrown into a rolling boil of Italian heritage racing and it's why the whole love/hate being sides of the same coin thing always happens with them. their families are even houses alike in dignity etc etc. it's Pure Drama and Intensity and always has been, both good and bad. they’re as terrible at using PR to smooth things over as landoscar are at not even bothering with PR. when Charles and Carlos are good together they’re passionately all over each other and when they’re mad at each other it’s messy and all over the press like a warring celebrity couple. Lando and Oscar are still delicately pawing at their relationship to know what it is and they still shyly touch as if seeking permission. Lando and Oscar are so not PR friendly that even Netflix gave up on them as a narrative entirely. Charles and Carlos are Shakespeare. Lando and Oscar are Jane Austen. Ferrari is the Capulet/Montague pride before the fall. McLaren is Mrs. Bennett trying to social climb using her daughters as bait.
as someone who follows blogs for multiple diff teams and drivers, trust me I see a lot of "my opinion of him is gone forever after this!!!" about something their own fave driver did even just a few races ago and absolutely will do again. same with "the team is destroying him and favoring his teammate!" like I straight up will see that said by each teammate's fanbase of the same team about the same race. this happens at different times throughout the season in every single team I follow - it even happened w Williams of all teams (tho so far that's just the once).
I'm a fake so obv I'm not going to weigh in myself but my cousins and their friends who watch F1 on the app at my house - and who aren't represented ethnically by any driver or team so they don't have bias - always have a much more calm and nuanced take. they assume every driver is out for themselves and by that very fact alone, teams have to take sides when the gap closes. and !! that millionaires doing an elite sport aren't experiencing mental distress over this sport the way common people experience distress over real life !! they go and bury their "woes" in extravagant luxury and an entire army of hugely biased family, supporters and fanbases all of whom think said driver deserves everything.
and that it takes truly heinous betrayal or outright evil to make these guys hate each other with any serious level of depth bc they all know they're The Selfish Asshole just as easily as the other guy.
so I personally trust their takes on things and it's probably why I've always assumed Lando and Oscar would be Normal and have their little tiffs like everyone else does. bc it's rule one of making it to this level of the sport that you have to think selfishly. straight up I'm astounded at how quickly they've both been able to shake that 'visors down' mentality that Andrea referenced in the post race video and see the bigger picture and not be The Asshole to each other.
and overall I don’t mind my dash being a warzone of wild accusations immediately after a race bc everyone usually calms down.
but there are certain things I just do not want on my dash and it's actually not related to what driver a person hates or not....
because while it's silly to see any of these privileged little princes as A Victim and Would Never Do That To Their Teammate (which would honestly get you laughed at by said driver) it's pretty common biased fan behavior. even tho Lando literally kept reminding people that Oscar's swallowed his own pride over things for Lando's benefit many times and that he (Lando) has been on the receiving end of podiums that came from strategies working in his favor (McLaren’s and that of other teams).
and like the idea that Oscar is now some heinous human being bc he's behaving like every other driver including Lando by Lando's own admission is hysterical. the idea that F1 teams are ever in any way benevolent kindly forces or that F1 drivers have anything akin to 'selflessness' over race wins is hysterical.
but where I draw a line is stanning for men in this sport so hard to the point of insane amounts of agonized doomposting and biased venomous rage. sorry but most of us don't want our precious time wasted agonizing over which self-confessed selfish millionaire in a sport founded on and maintained by pure elitism is feeling So Bad and So Sad! that he runs off to be comforted by a beautiful woman/women and adoring family and coddling hangers-on and legions of worshiping, wholly biased fans and millions of dollars on gigantic yachts because the absurdly unnecessary sport he gets to do isn't "looking after him well enough" or "prioritizing his happiness" !!!!??????
like fuck I'm a callous bitch ig but I'm not feeling an ounce of genuine upset whenever one of these men experiences a level of "my sport makes me sad". "oh but it's all they've known !! it's all relative !! money and privilege don’t equal happiness and privileged men suffer too !!" oh stfu no it doesn't and no they're not like stockholm syndrom victims and if they're so unhappy then they can put on their big boy boots and take their money and go fucking do something else holy SHITTTTT
am I not here for allowing any portion of my human empathy to go to a fuuucCKING F1 driver jeeeeeeesusss. all of these men fully have the potential to get metoo’d or exposed about smth bc they're all capable of doing awful things by the time they're in F2 -male pro athletes are NOT objectively safe spaces to hang human morality or to assign automatic grace and good intent - let alone bleed pain or feel sadness for their race results or issues with their teams.
there is no acceptable moral relativity for me and these men and this sport are only of interest to me as a hyperfixation that gives me enjoyment in the form of narratives and a very specific, surface degree of enjoyment.
it’s fine if Lando or Oscar feel their feelings of frustration or anger etc but no way in hell am I going to feel remotely sad for them ??? they’re fine ?? there are genuinely sad things in my life and in the world and millionaires wanting trophies and points isn’t among them !! I’m not entwining my day-to-day happiness in any way with what they get up to and I’ll take what I can enjoy from them and ignore everything else.
and to wrap up this epic which I’m only indulging in bc I do feel like my blog sometimes seems like I’m pushing my own silly narratives on others and genuinely I’m not intending to - most of the reason I actually got drawn to landoscar and wanted to engage in fandom about them is precisely because their real life non-rpf dynamic is so unusually mature and considerate and not toxic or like, at all even overtly masculine. yea I originally got drawn into f1blr for the usual bromance rpf types like carland0 and dand0 etc but I didn’t rly care enough to engage in any way.
but I think this is why I know that the ppl wanting Lando and Oscar to become this insane toxic mess are going to keep raging with disappointment - kind of like how I knew Lando and Max would be perfect again after just a few days while so many ppl hoped it was the start of some battle royale to last years that would end their close friendship. and why I knew Logan and Alex would end up with a genuine, heartfelt friendship when so many ppl assumed Alex would see Logan as one foot out the door and just wait to bond with a more worthy teammate. now we’ve got Alex saying how he and Lily casually talk about Logan for no reason at all and their friendship surviving Alex being given Logan’s car <3
I genuinely don’t bullshit myself into enjoying dynamics unless they feel real - so whatever friction I ever sense between Lando and Oscar as a result of them pushing each other to be the best they can be and helping to bring McLaren from the back of the field to WCC contender, isn’t at odds with them being gentle and unusually private and earnestly aware of each other. bromances were always Lando’s PR insurance with his other two teammates - a nice bandaid to cover moments where cracks showed or Lando didn’t hide his emotions enough. it’s something a lot of teammates use for the same purpose. but Lando and Oscar deciding to forgo that and have their little privacy door to shut out everyone else but each other from their drivers rooms, and how they will be doing interviews and then get distracted talking to each other over things that only interest them, and traveling and hanging out together without giving McLaren PR any material to use… like that’s a lovely, tender little unpretentious narrative to enjoy. watching them tiptoe so cautiously around an almighty cockup on McLaren’s pitwall side and Lando trying to pull himself up out of murky defeat for Oscar and Oscar deciding to celebrate so modestly because what a mess that ending was for them both.
like I just don’t see a need for trying to invent ways to be unhappy or miserable or fabricate a doomed anything when they’re both still so sweet <3 <3 (and honestly it’s the same old tune of McLaren’s strategy needing a swift smack around the head)
tysm babe and I hope this one helped as well <3<3
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Could you do Enhypen jay as a husband??
Enhypen Jay as a Husband:
Dice: Cancer, Jupiter, 8th House
Tarot: Four of Wands, Eight of Coins Reversed, Six of Wands, Eight of Cups Reversed, The Lovers, Seven of Coins, Page of Swords, King of Cups, Strength, Four of Coins Reversed
Oh my my. He’s a total lover boy. I think he’d really enjoy being a husband lol. It’s like he sees it as a goal to work towards, but he also doesn’t hold on to the idea too much, he thinks its something he’d like to do but only if it feels right. he’s not gonna marry just for the sake of being married, he wants someone he really loves and also someone that will help build a new life with him. He literally got so many ‘romance’ cards its insane! He’d be very energetic and loving, and also put in a lot of work towards the relationship. He might even being to neglect other parts of his life because he’s so focused on it. I think he likes partnership and wants that traditional stuff like building/finding a house together, working towards similar goals, growing, etc… He’s like extremely in tune with his own emotions and this also gives him the ability to be in tune with his partners. Im trying to see if there is any downsides or if he would show toxic traits but… i just don’t see it! He’s that perfect husband type its so refreshing. I do think he might have outdated ideas in some places, but i see with the page of wands an eagerness to learn how to make it work with his person if that is ever an issues. I think he idolizes marriage to an extent, its sort of part of his ideal life. He craves the meshing of souls that happens in deep intimate commitments. I think he also wants a soft place to come home to, he might really like domesticity and admire people who have those nurturing traits. He wants the ideal marriage, one where they dont have secrets or resentments and they’re able to co-create a beautiful life as they wish. It’s a common theme in many marriage/fs readings but i do see he might take a step away from his usual work, there would be a shifting of priorities here. He’s like working hard now in order to get to a place where his relationship can be his main focus. he could be prone to codependency lol but, depending on his partner, it could be a good thing for him. He’s just a generally energetic person and when he’s excited or happy about something he puts his all into it. Idk he’s just very nice every time i read for him lol! I do see he might be dissatisfied?? Or just resigned in some way. Maybe deep down he feels like his dream is impossible, i think he could hear a lot of negative things about marriage and this might get him down. he might feel like he’s too emotional or delusional about it and its possible he keeps a lot of this info hidden from others. He’s a very sensitive man in a world where those traits are not acceptable in masculinity, so he def keeps a lid on all of this sadly, he also may feel rejected in many ways. Maybe the romantic opportunities he’s had so far have been dissatisfactory and disappointing so he often thinks about how its could be difficult to even find a partner willing to be with him. There’s a slight pessimism but his feelings towards marriage are still very positive. Like i said he feels very dreamy, emotional, sweet, optimistic about the future. I hope all his dreams come true <3
Hope you guys like it!! Xoxo
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