#def am not getting all of those written but maybe i will write down “hi sanya!” before i have to go back to work

[enigmaticgale]

i brought my letter writing stuff with me which i think is probably vastly overestimating how Alive i'll be after everything. but the chances i'll write something aren't zero

[razzle-zazzle]

What's your favorite fic you've written for "The Lion" AU?

There's literally only four in existence right now lmao, but if I had to pick,,,

It'd have to be this one, AKA The One That Focuses On Mirtala. We've got three other pieces dissecting how Dion's doing (badly), but I didn't get to explore how Mirtala's coping in depth until that piece. It's definitely the piece I'm most proud of, especially Dion & Mirtala's awful little argument.

[griffonsgrove]

Hiiii!!! See your doing writing requests for Hazbin, Its my hyperfixation so I am in need of more content 👀 so I'd like to request maybe Vox general or NSFW headcanon ( either one is good lol-) with a afab reader maybe? This is my first time requesting something like this so sorry if I'm a little nervous or bad at requesting. I think this is how people are supposed to request? XD

General Dating Headcanons | Vox

a/n: You're totally alright dear! You said everything just fine! As I've stated before, I got early access to the first two episodes, and it's been so interesting to analyze vox's character! I hope I can do him justice!! He's starting to grow on me now. I'm gonna stick with a gn!reader just because these are general headcanons and I want them to be suited for anyone!

fandom: Hazbin Hotel

wordcount: 1299

cw: SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL, swearing, vulgar content, stalking, death and mentions of death/murder., toxic/absuive relationships.

(PLATONIC):

Vox’s got eyes EVERYWHERE in hell. There is no escaping his line of sight unless you go completely off the grid. Which is pretty difficult to do when the entirety of pentagram city is covered head to toe in VoxTech.

However, if you don't pose a threat to him, he really doesn't give a shit about you otherwise, and won’t pay that much attention to your life.

When you first fell into hell, you were mostly confused as to how you wound up here in the first place. That quickly subsided into fear as you noticed the large variety of demons and sinners casually walking down the sidewalk like it was an average tuesday. 

You’ll never forget the sight of seeing a demon gnaw off the arm of another and swallow it whole, like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet. 

You wander aimlessly down the streets, keeping to yourself and being very cautious of those around you. Your clothes were in tatters, and you didn't have any form of money whatsoever, what were you to do??

You had two options: Somehow find a job in this new horrific realm, or, die.

You didn't care too much for the latter.

This is how you stumble across one of the largest studios/clubs in hell, owned by probably the most feared overlords in pentagram city. The V’s. 

You get hired to be nothing more than a waiter/waitress, to serve the patrons of the club, mostly serving them their drinks.

You weren't too fond of the work uniform either. It left nothing to the imagination, and exposed alot of skin, far too much to your liking. The job actually paid somewhat decently though and it was enough to be able to sustain a living. You were quick to rent out the nearest apartment.

One day, while you’re out on the main floor, making your rounds, your eyes briefly lock with the TV demon across a sea of sinners. Call it cheesy, but it was almost like a spark went off the moment he laid eyes on you. Which is something that doesn't happen often with the tech-savvy overlord. Who were you??

He lazily beckons you over with a claw, to which you obediently follow, although it doesn't hide the sheer nervousness written all over your face, He gives you his drink order in that sultry, velvet voice of his, eyeing you up. You gulp slightly and are quick to bring him his order. He thought you were so cute trembling for him.

He begins to stalk observe you closer after that. If you have any electronic devices he’ll watch you through your screens, trying to get a glimpse into what your life was like outside of work. The things you enjoyed doing in your free time, favorite shows, foods etc.

He def goes through your search history.

He would start showing up more in the sections you worked at, oftentimes minding his business, but occasionally striking up a conversation with you.

You did have to admit he was quite the charmer, his smooth voice was hypnotic to you.

OBSESSIVE TENDENCIES. If he notices some creep won't leave you alone while you're working, he’ll take care of them personally, it’s never a pretty sight afterwards. He cant have anyone taking what's his.

You're oblivious to his stalking and possessiveness, you don't think much of it, maybe that's because he puts on a friendly face when you’re around him.

But after some time of getting to know you, He’s the one that eventually asks you out on a “date”. You’re skeptical at first, but decide to accept his offer. And also partially because you were afraid of what would happen if you said no.

(ROMANTIC):

Ngl it’s kind of a situationship in the beginning.

Vox is a busy man, it’s constant work maintaining the studios (especially valentinos temper) and managing the entirety of hell's technology. So, he may ghost you at first.

That being said, He will still keep an eye on you. He often watches through your phone while you sleep, just to make sure you’re safe. Hell is a dangerous place after all.

Speaking of, you’re now under the protection of the V’s, so that’s a plus! You never have to worry about another demon laying a finger on you. They usually never get close enough to anyways.

He very easily gets jealous. He won't show it on the outside because he has an image to uphold, but you can tell every time from that crazed look in his eyes.

Vox is a possessive lover; he wants to keep you all to himself. If he could, he’d keep you locked up by his side all day.

CONTROLLING. He HAS to know where you’re at, at all times, and who you’re going to be with (lest you face one of his tantrums). Also dictates what you wear, He likes to dress you up to his liking, like you’re his own personal doll.

Insecure much?

Say goodbye to privacy btw. He constantly has you in the back of his mind and a watchful eye on you. It can be kind of suffocating at times. The two of you have gotten into a few arguments because of this.

Valentino gets jealous of you too. How dare you take his boy-toy away from him? He’s often giving you the stink eye and will threaten you behind vox’s back. You’re too scared to tell Vox, because you don't want to face Val’s wrath.

You know briefly of his and Val’s “relationship” it all had seemed very one-sided and completely unhealthy.

You're often having to calm Vox down. The man has a very short temper and is easily provoked. 

Imagine you pressing little kisses to his screen after he found out about Alastor’s return. He remains stoic, but secretly enjoys your affection.

Some of the pet names he loves to call you include; Doll, Dear, Darling, Sweetheart, Babe.

Pretty old-fashioned ik, but he's a classy man alright?

He tends to be pretty touchy, always having a clawed hand on the small of your back, or an arm wrapped around your waist. It’s more of a possessive trait of his, to keep what's his close.

He loves having you sprawled on his lap while he’s in his screen room, you stay nuzzled into his side, often taking naps while he does broadcasts.

He TOTALLY spoils you btw. He’s one of the most powerful overlords in hell, ofc he has the money to show it. Whatever dingy apartment you had before, forget about it bc this man has you living in a penthouse suite in one of the most expensive apartment buildings. He sees you looking at something in a store or online?? Boom, it’s yours now.

He loves buying you clothes, as I’ve said before, you're his “doll” and he loves playing dress up with you.

And if you buy him something?? He’s taken by surprise at first, he’s never really been on the receiving end of that affection, so whatever it is you give him he’ll cherish it.

If you ever have someone bothering you, or want to get rid of, you just say the word babe. He’ll be feeding them to his sharks >:)

The man is emotionally constipated, ok?? All he’s ever known from relationships is what he shared with Val (and trust me that was a train wreck). He’s rough around the edges, short-tempered and isn't always easy to get along with, and he’s incredibly possessive which can be suffocating to deal with at times. This probably stems from him not wanting to actually be alone, He doesn't want you to slip out of his grasp, so he keeps a tight leash on you. But underneath all these flaws, he really does love you and care about you. At the end of the day, He just wants someone that will stay.

[alybur635]

Hmmm noticed neji is only ever written with the way other anons have described some hcs being in x reader content more so aiming towards woman readers. Which makes sense. People are writing out their fantasies about fictional men that i can get i get but some hcs... do make me question how people can come to such conclusion about his character,

Like where is the whole mean depraved dad dom energy coming from it's obvious projection. I do mind my business it's not my thing or i go to read something where he's in character but it kinda does annoy me when yeah like the other anon said. Treat the fanon as canon or i've seen people force their headcanons onto to others which is not okay. What i also noticed he is not like this in ships again only x reader sometimes its bizarre for me to see his character being wrapped changed.

And then i read a fic of him and shikamaru or tenten for example and it feels like im actually reading his canon version. Also what the other anon said he would def ask for consent on anything people write him doing things just out of the blue and im like????? Uhhhh yeah its a fic but also assault cause just.. no i personally just curate my space block see the headcanon i want to see only following certain people or write my own that's what i have been doing with an oc i created a while ago with him. Best advice block and do what makes you happy anon works for me so far lol

Blocking and muting tags + fics/authors really just be your best bet with curating your space.... best form of self care with your character indulgence right there! Especially grand way to avoid those mischaracterizations you may come across,,,,, I would know-

But really like I think you said, y/n or x reader fics tend to be more self indulgent types of fics (at least in my own personal opinion) and really are where people write out their fantasies or personal interpretations for how characters may act in certain scenerios. And I don't say that to be condescending or bash on anyone, it's your fic and self indulgence is a good thing! It's how people wanna enjoy themselves and their time and I do appreciate that aspect of it.

Though I do agree with you on the annoyance when it comes to people treating fanon as canon material or go out of their way to shove those headcanons down people's throats. It's a good way to suck the joy out of something for someone or to just simply piss people off, that's never fun for anyone.

The differences between those and canon character ship fics? I think the difference there lies with people maybe more wanting to build upon or explore dynamics between two established characters, so I can see there why characterization would be more in line with canon there (I will say though in the same way not every x reader fic mischaracterizes, not every canon character ship fic is completely in character either. I've read some that seemed self indulgent as well, and quite a few mischaracterizations for my faves have been from these kinds of fics-. Then again I'm also hella picky with fics and don't really read too many beyond ones I've already read, ehehe-)

I really honestly think it depends on the fic/author at this point. Hit or miss sort of deal. Really like you mentioned already though, the fic space I think is just something you gotta curate: avoiding hcs and interpretations you don't like + scrolling past or blocking and muting are really all you can do! Better than harassing anyone. BUT this isn't to dismiss your frustrations with mischaracterizations!!! Believe me, I know all to well of the pain with running into Neji, Naruto, or nejinaru mischaracterizations sm! I will be the first to hold ur hand and tell you I get it,,,,, I hear you sm.

(I will be completely be honest with you anon, I.... am not a multishipper with Neji and don't really like shikaneji or nejiten so I have NO knowledge on how in character those fics are, whoops)

[hismercytomyjustice]

Ayyy, I’m back on my bullshit with my BG3 fic! Just about to hit 86k words. Good god.

Still struggling to comprehend that. And still have about two chapters to go. Eh, maybe 1.5. I’m thinking it’ll end around 95k. Maybe 100k. (・ω・｀)………..

Those numbers sound wildly fake. Especially how up until this fic, I’d never written anything longer than maybe 55k.

I can’t believe I’m finally reaching the end. Just a month or two ago, I was convinced I might never finish it with how bad my analysis paralysis was.

The whole reason I even started posting it was because my therapist suggested it as a way to help me out of the OCD spiral it was sending me into. I had fully intended not to post any of it until it was completely finished because I was terrified I’d never finish it.

…def don’t have unfinished shit haunting me decades later from ff.net…

Somehow my most popular fic on there was an InuYasha one from my MAJOR InuYasha brain rot days. God, Sesshomaru lived rent free in my head for fucking YEARS.

I am so fucking distraught with how they decided to handle his character arc. There is SO MUCH Sesshomaru merch out there this day and age. I would have lost my fucking mind as a teen if it had been available then. But I just can’t enjoy it now.

Like, no shade to those who are happy with how he wound up with Rin. I’m just not one of them. I just personally feel like it was a missed opportunity for both of their character arcs and also imho…he was pretty much her dad, so it just doesn’t sit right with me. Especially with how young she was when he took her in…

Would’ve loved to see her wind up with Kohaku like it felt they were going to. I also really loved Sesshomaru and Kagura together too (minus the whole uh…her no longer being around thing).

God my life fucking revolved around that show for literal years. Pretty much all of high school. Maybe some of middle school? I don’t remember 100% when I started watching it.

Idk if it was a special interest or a hyperfocus or what. It doesn’t happen to me often (despite what it might seem like on here). POTO hit me around the same time (when I was 16) and then there was a gap until Pacific Rim with a brief Transformers interlude in between.

The fact it’s happened again recently with BG3, Hazbin, and borderline IWTV is fucking wild to me. Like oh yeah, I get obsessed with shit but there’s obsessed and then there is Obsessed™. It might not look that different from an outside perspective, but good god it is BAD on the inside.

I fucking LOVE IWTV but I’m not hunting down every single microscopic bit of lore I can find for it.

Hazbin and BG3 tho? Good fucking god. I am desperate to consume anything I can fucking find. I am watching interviews, reading veritable dissertations on them, I am thinking about them non-fucking-stop.

You can gauge my true level of derangement by:

1. Have I written fanfic about it?

2. How much fanfic have I written about it?

IWTV is an A Tier obsession for me. BG3 and Hazbin? That shit is S Tier.

Not that I write fanfic for everything S Tier, case in point Stardew Valley, but yeah…there’s a fucking reason I have fucking 7 Pacific Rim fanfics under my belt.

And right now I’ve got a multi-chapter Hazbin crack fic cooking on the side that’s already about to hit 9k words. It is wildly self-indulgent but damn if I’m not enjoying every fucking second of it.

Maybe one day I’ll get back to the modern day Phantom AU I started back at the end of January. It’s got 5k on it. My only real concern with it tho is I worry about drifting too close to Binary, my fave POTO fanfic of all time. And, tbh, a solid contender for my fave fic of all time in general. The number of times I have read that masterpiece.

Fuck. Cannot recommend it enough if you’re a POTO fan. It is a goddamn work of art.

But yeah, being so close to finishing this BG3 fic is such a weird feeling. It kind of makes me want to peel my skin off and flee into the woods? But I think it’ll also be really fucking good for me. And I can’t believe I’m about to do it. It’s fucking terrifying lol. My OCD is NOT HAPPY.

I can take “comfort” in the fact I still have 9 weeks of editing ahead of me tho I guess? (ಥ﹏ಥ) Maybe that’ll shut my goddamn fucking OCD up with its chants of “you never finish anything, you’ll never finish this, best to give up now, easier to give it up than fight through until the end, you should give it up before everyone comes to their senses and realize it’s awful” blah blah blah.

OCD is the fucking WORST.

Weirdly I also have piano to thank for my ability to write again? Because the hardcore fucking OCD spirals that shit was sending me on was what made me realize I constantly have OCD spirals running in the background. It’s making them a fuck of a lot easier to see earlier on too. And that was like…Category 2/3 OCD for me lol. Writing was probably Category 4/5 until recently. There’s other shit that’s solidly a Cat 5 but I don’t ever intend to talk about it on here. That’s what I have my therapist for! Yay, therapy!

It is truly fucking wild seeing an OCD specialist though who is just like “oh, your big scary brain is not as big and scary as it wants you to think.” Like that was one of the biggest “holy shit” moments I had when she was walking me through the stages of OCD spirals and I was just like…I never saw the pattern before. But there it was. Spelled out in black and white on a little fucking worksheet.

Fucking insane.

Tumblr has helped me so fucking much too by making it easy for me journal about it all regularly. I don’t always post what I journal, but it helps me see the forest for the trees regardless. And by forcing myself to “share” shit, I’m chipping away at the part of my OCD that fucking thrives on avoidance and self-consciousness about this shit. Because you’re not supposed to avoid OCD thoughts. That just makes ultimately them worse. So I share them on here knowing there’s like a 1% anyone will ever read any of this, but it’s enough to take away some of the fear/shame/avoidance that would otherwise add fuel to the fire so.

┐(￣ ヘ￣)┌

It’s all not as big and bad and scary and awful as my OCD makes it out to be in the confines of my noggin. It’s fucking hard sometimes, sharing some of this stuff because it’s embarrassing and awful and stupid. There’s nothing logical about OCD thoughts and knowing that makes it even fucking worse.

Like… I know the entirety of the internet isn’t going to just show up one day and tell me my writing is shit and I should quit. Logically. My OCD, however… It makes a lot of compelling arguments to my little lizard brain that are a lot harder to ignore.

Like how I almost didn’t sign up for piano classes at all because my OCD told me I’d never practice and I’d be wasting the teacher’s time and if I then quit I was frivolously playing with part of their livelihood and therefore a terrible fucking person. Would I say that to someone else? Absolutely not. That’s all absurd. Did I spend weeks agonizing over it in my noggin? Abso-fuckin’-lutely I did. And it didn’t even occur to me it was batshit until I finally brought it up to my husband and realized “wait one goddamn second, this is an OCD spiral, isn’t it?”

Lololol. The “joys” of mental illness! But hey, at least the therapy seems to be working. One step at a time baybeee!

[cupcakeinat0r]

Me again!! I just wanted to say that my exams went really well :) 🙌🙌

Honestly I just want to thank you again and I’m gonna sound like a broken record but it really is lovely and calming reading things you’ve written. Even if it’s just your thoughts thrown into a tumblr post.

Exams were really hard for me especially because I am VERY anxious and I’ve been looking for things that I can rely on to soothe me and to calm me down and …… I found your tumblr from a moot’s reblog. Immediately I was like “oh this person is AWESOME” and I still stand by it. When you announced part 7 I was eagerly checking my phone every morning .. I love the series so much. I’m absolutely your no.1 fan please please please keep being fantastic and take your time writing!!! Always gonna be admiring from afar no matter what happens in the series haha

Also what do you hope will happen in BTSV? Me personally I really REALLY hope Miguel gets a redemption arc. He is absolutely not the typical villain and I will be so mad if he gets killed off - Sony did NOT set us up with his lore and give us obvious hints at his potential to heal & change for nothing.

- 🌵

Omg hi, 🌵, my luv!!! That’s so great to hear!! I’m so happy your exams went well!!

Omg, no, don’t worry about sounding like a broken record!! I’ll happily listen to it regardless of how many times it loops haha <3 And if there’s anything you’d like to tell or ask me outside of the series, please feel free to reach out through the ask box or direct message, those are always open <3 It fills me with joy to know that my page does this for you. I want nothing more than to create a safe, welcoming space for us ATSV girlies(gn) <3 I know sometimes I get a bit silly on here or talk nonsense or make cringe memes but I do it to make at least one person chuckle, and if it does at least that, then I’m happy <3 I greatly appreciate your kind words, you are too sweet and your asks always brighten my day 🌵 <3

I TOTALLY get it, I get super nervous when doing exams as well😭 But omg, thank you!! YOURE awesome for being so supportive and kind!!! Thank you for loving my series, I kinda really love it, too <3 And thank you for the reminder, sometimes it’s tempting to push content out or to rush the storyline, but it’s true, I need to take my time and fully flesh everything that I wanna share out so that I have no regrets later on.

Respectfully, I want Sony to give us a shower scene of Miguel, and also a scene where he’s only wearing pants. I think it would be crucial for both character development and plot complexity.

Nah jk (kinda…)

Oof… this is a good yet tough question. I received another ask asking the same thing!

I def agree with you. I’m hoping we not only get redemption (whether it’s Miguel outwardly apologizing to Miles or him simply changing his mind about the canon), but I also hope we see Miguel receive closure. It would most definitely be a waste if Sony k***s him off, but I truly don’t believe they’ll do that. They’ve been setting him up since itsv, introducing him in that credit scene. They wouldn’t do all that for nothing, so I have my predictions that they’ll expand on his character more. I also really hope we just see Miguel doing simple tasks; maybe drinking a cup of coffee while strategizing on how to capture Jonathan (spot). Ion kno, I’m just saying things atp, I just really wanna see Miguel be soft. Like, not in a suit and being the cold person that the script wrote him out to be. The man has a lot of love to give and it’s evident from his relationship with his daughter (yes I know she wasn’t actually “his” but I like to pretend she was).

It’s realistic to expect that he won’t be like completely cured and all of a sudden happy by the end of the movie because that’s simply just not how tr**ma and grief works, but I wouldn’t mind at least one heart to heart between Miguel and another character. Or even if it’s one with himself. I’d be happy with that honestly. Like so happy!

(And the shower scene. Or a shirtless scene.)

[lumilasi]

Hiiii I was reading FS series and so far AM LOVING IT!! (That ending doe whyyy imma cri (;—;) and just, wanted to ask how u even came up with it? Do u have favorite parts?? (Or least fave, can't imagine that personally thou (〃´∀｀)) asdgfsssd sorry if this is random or weird I just really wanted to let u know I liked it a lot! Might've skipped sleep couple times ahahaha....(^—^);

Thank U for writing! Hope u have a great day!!!!!

Hi there, sorry for late reply! (got this last night basically lol) and don't worry! It's random but in a good way lmao

(Also, don't worry things get better if you continue reading the series, trust me C; But up to you of course! I know its a long ass story when you put all 3 fics together lmao)

Also pls don't skip sleep, sleep is good! Sleep is important haha

I can't recall exactly where the idea came from, I think I was just toying with the concept of "What if AFO WASN'T absolute horse shit of a parent & Somehow friends with Toshinori WITHOUT making All Might evil?" or something along those lines.

Hmmm....I do very much like that one scene, where Hisashi and Toshinori chat in a car, or more like Toshinori shares his woes with his friend, and Hisashi says something very simple, but it is very profound in the context of the story/their relationship. (I drew this scene and wrote a whole ass essay about why I loved the scene so much for some reason lmao).

Hisashi Kicking Toshinori outta hero form was also pretty fun, namely because you as a reader KNOW who Hisashi is (and Toshinori doesn't, yet), making the whole thing kind of ironic.

Also, Tenko pretending to be a starfish. It was just one of those cute kids train of thoughts moments I really liked writing. (Since I've drawn all these scenes in question, I'll plop the artworks here so this is not just a wall of text answer lol);

As for least fave, it is actually pretty typical (at least in my case lol) that there's always something I feel like I could've written better. Don't get me wrong I very much still love FS, but even my favorite story has some things that in hindsight...if I wrote the fic now, I'd do differently. Call it learning what works/what doesn't/what could work better and all haha!

These things are:

How Hisashi's brother died. I now feel like how it went down doesn't...quite fit with the kind of character Hisashi became. It was meant to be tragic, kind of accidental, but, ehhh...maybe it doesn't feel enough like an accident? Admittedly this detail is something I could easily go and change as it's just couple of lines of dialogue and a scene, but finding those bits would probably take ages. (Will I do this small but kind of significant change? Who knows, maybe someday lol, I did rewrite an entirety of Reanimate at one point, or well one half of it back in 2020)

The whole Todoroki family sub-plot. Now, the way it was written came from the current understanding of Endeavor's character at that time (pre Touya flashbacks) which, kind of...ironically ended up making me write him worse than he actually turned out to be in canon, (Enji's still a terrible, abusive father and a person ofc, don't get me wrong, but he's def. violent sooner in my fic, than he was in canon) and now, I'd probably approach that plotline differently with the new info I have.

Maybe I wouldn't make a full on redemption arc for Enji as, well, I don't really care about his character much outside the impact he's had on his family, but def. wouldn't have written him as violent as he came off, given the timing of things.

Maybe The Midoriyas could've prevented things from going to that point it ends up in canon, and get Touya to see he has more value than just living up to his dad's amibitions, and MAYBE Enji starting to see his son as an individual, rather than his extension.

Or something. IDK.

Like said, Enji's one of the more boring characters in bnha to me, which makes writing him/focusing on him kind of difficult, hence IDK if I'd be able to pull off such an idea easily. I feel like he has very little interesting substance (to me, this is subjective OFC) outside the whole "bad dad" plot, and as a cherry on top, his design just... manages to combine a lot of things I tend to find kind of unappealing to look at in a character lmao. It's not even rescued by his writing, like what happens with All Might for example.

In fact, if I can get away with not showing Enji on-screen in a story (Without just killing him off/putting him in jail, those aren't my favorite solutions to issues like this, and have only used the former, once), while still showcasing the negative effect he's had on Dabi (and/or Shoto) I will do it. Quite obviously, I did not feel like it'd work for FS, not having him be on-screen at all.

....Well this is a long answer, this last part got especially rambly, but kind of fitting given how long my stories tend to be too haha! Hope it satisfied your curiosity :D

[strangesoulmates]

Fanfic asks for the new year, 2, 5, 8!

2.Will you participate in any fandom exchanges or fic challenges, etc?

Yes, absolutely! I am currently signed up for a fix-it fic challenge that I'm working on, but that has to stay pretty hush-hush for now. But like, I am so excited to try and get more involved in the Alex Rider Fandom. There's so many different challenges that run and I'm psyched to get involved in as many as I can that are running this year. I started getting involved (quietly) in the AR fandom right around when Secret Santa signups started, but I couldn't quite trust my muse enough to go ahead and put my name in, and I was a little hesitant about doing so when I hadn't written anything for the fandom which felt a little unfair to my recipient.  But afterwards, I wished I had.  And I love participating in events in general!  So, yeah, basically as many as I can get my hands on that are running this year lol

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

WIP that's first on my list is for the aforementioned hush-hush challenge, assuming I can finish it in time.  But the next one is def the soulmate AU!  So, have a snippet from that

He should have been terrified. After all, he *knew* Yassen now. Down to the core of him, made of steel, forged and reforged in the fires of more tragedy and betray than any person should ever have to deal with. Yassen was all sharpness and jagged edges, the broken pieces of Yasha forged into a weapon. Dangerous. A killer. But at the very core of him had been an empty place. An aching one, where loyalty and love had curled up and waited, nearly withered away. A place Yassen had numbed himself to, deep inside his walls. It was this place he had tucked Alex into, their soulbond anchored in the very core of him, those formidable walls and sharp edges closing up around him. Yassen, Alex knew, would never hurt him. Would protect him, no matter the cost. There were many things about this situation to be afraid of, but Yassen wasn't one of them. A sense of awed, fond agreement crept across the bond, warm and sticky like syrup (like blood), and Alex knew Yassen had sensed his train of thought through the bond, new as it was.

8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

I mean, I don't know?  Like, I at least tend to try my ideas out so that I can get them out of my head a little bit.  Most of the ones I'm not sure will ever see the light of day are the ones that are just like, pure filth. And it's been a lot time since I wrote smut, so I'm out of practice. But maybe some of them!

[thesolotomyhan]

ismael “el mayo” zambada nsfw alphabet

a/n: there will be one day when i will stop loving him but today is not that day nor is it near because his stupid ass smile gets me everytime and i hate it and him y me enamoro mas cada vez i cry but here it is i hope you guys enjoy this because this is def one of my favorite things ive written

warnings: nsfw, p*rn whatever you want to call it but  holy sh*t this mf is 7.6k words long, lmaoooo get comfortable mis bebes (the word count keeps going up everytime i write a new one lol) 

a-aftercare (what theyre like after sex)

hasta tiemblo thinking about it all because while i feel like he isnt that into it,, he would make an exception for you :( like let me explain before you blow up on me ,,, because ive always kind of pictured him as someone who could give less of a fuck about how the other person feels? he’s just there to be egoistic if he has ever had anyone before you and i just,,,, i picture him flipping all of his values and own rules right tf upside down when he meets you :) and it definitely applies to aftercare :) because i feel like before you,,he wouldnt seem to care enough to even try it,, its out the window on sight, but of course :) when he meets you :) his chula :) he starts to lean more into the idea of aftercare and i have kind of two ideas/ways it can go,, because i can def see him being like the prepared one ? like he would have almost all of your necessities on the nightstand right next to you so all he has to do is reach over and hand it to you, just being the type that’s prepared as in him not wasting a second if he even senses you need something,,, because he’s getting up and getting it for you or secondly i can see him being the type of being more of a guy that when you both come,, after a long session,, him just draping his body down on top of you,, letting you tiredly run your hands through his hair and back,,, him lightly feathering you in kisses on your shoulder just basking in the little aftershocks your body does post-orgasm,,, and just giving you a small kiss to your collarbone,, cocky smile on his face but with a light glint in his eyes ,, and just moving to lay beside you,, pulling your body on top of his ,, moving your head under his chin and on his chest while he caresses your back, kissing the top of your head like “estas bien?” as he holds you to him,, just wanting to make sure youre ok but of course if you even think about asking him about getting something for you,, his ass is just placing one last kiss on your shoulder :)) giving you a small “ey” and moving to get up to get whatever you asked for :))) te trata como reina pues :) and i cry to that sorry i am an easy bitch to please

b-body (favorite body part)

i could go all day long giving you guys the human anatomy and why its his favorite part because he would love everything about you but ill just settle and give you all this piece of information because,,,, legs,, legs,,, tus piernas hermosas mis reinas,,, hear me out alright,,, because whether is the way they look when you’re walking or :) him placing his hand on your thighs when your both seated next to eachother at some dinner party,, the way they look underneath a flow-y sundress or when youre rolling up stockings on your legs if you like those ,,, or :) when he has you spread out by your thighs for him,, or even him holding them when hes thrusting into you,, but i can just sense he would at least have some sort of fixation with your legs im sorry i only enforce the rules here because for a quick detour off of nsfw,,, i just see him somehow always gravitating towards them for some reason,,, like i mentioned maybe its when youre both at some party, dinner in some fancy place or whatever,, but when youre both sitting at a table,, him having your chair right bumped up next to his to have you close :) i can just see him (and i fall in love i swear) when i imagine him placing his hand on your thigh :) perhaps letting his fingers gently massage you there or just hold your inner thigh if he wants to and maybe its just so he can at least touch some part of you in a normal pda matter or maybe its because he just loves the feeling of them you know? or something else i can imagine,, is when hes at home with you after he just got there after being out on the boats all day,,, you giving :) him his plate :) para que come :) (domesticity i cry) but him loving to have you sit on his lap :) while he tells you about his day :) as he eats :) fuck im sorry but that shine in his eyes coming up on his face and brightening it all up everytime he looks upon you :(( one of his hands would be holding you by your thighs so you dont slip off ,, as he lets his thumb gently caress the side of your leg hnng can you guys tell im shaking ? or to add one last example for you guys and be domestic because im soft for shit like this,, but imagining :( him being on the couch with your legs propped up on his lap, and him absentmindedly just running his hand over your soft skin,, maybe youre both just watching whatevers on the television while hes talking to you but for some reason i love the image of how he doesnt stop his hands from running all over your legs as he looks at you in some lovesick smile,, tugging you by your legs so you can almost straddle him if you want but it’s such a soft moment if you can imagine it and ugh sorry to spill what i just said

but ooooOH of course i couldnt move on just yet because that just wouldnt be fair now would it,, and to start off my little adventure here,, im formally apologizing once again because i just have to bring up the sundress again because you wearing sundresses around this mf when he has this problem of not being self controlling of himself around you when he sees you either a) all dolled up and b) by showing off and your legs :) its a dangerous fuvking game youre playing but nothing beats the sight of you walking out of your shared bedroom wearing a sundress to wherever hes at in the house or when :) you come out :) by his boat :) to give him lonche :) because the way this mf would straight up from the start of seeing you zone in on your legs,, teasing ass smile and look he would be giving you as he gets up and heads towards you :) moving his arms around you :) planting a kiss on your lips and just running his hands down your body just kills me and not to kill the build up but i just know he would live for the sight of :) seeing your sundress all bunched up around your waist,, but it keeps falling down and covering your upper thighs when he fucks up into you when he has you propped up against something :) like the desperate kind of sex you know? where he would have his hand gripping your hip,, bringing the lower part of your sundress up so he can hold it with that same hand just so its out of the way,, and he can be able to see your pussy swallow him full, but with the way your body bounces after every thrust,, your dress keeps falling back down :) which only makes him :) groan out and pump into you rougher and rougher,, your breasts spilling out from the top part of your dress :))) im sorry and just one last detail,,, but of course in our old fashioned missionary :) he would just love to continuously hold your legs apart by your thighs everytime you try to close them around him when he thrusts into you :) just loving to hold onto the underside of your thighs and press them back into your chest as he continues to plow into you :) not sure if he wants to focus on the way your becoming more and more delirious as he pushes his cock into you while he holds your legs open for him :) or the way youre entire body bounces along with every thrust he does :)) or :) cuando te hace el amor :) the way i imagine him basically having his body draped over you,, one of your arms placed on his back as you hold onto him,, your other hand holding onto the back of his neck where it meets his hair :) the both of you messily trying to kiss but both of your heavy breathing interrupting the two of you :) him having one os his hands holding one of your legs,, hiking it further up up so you can rest it around his torso :) as he slowly but roughly pumps into you :))) hnnng wow

c-cum (anything to do with cum)

finish anywhere? yeah anywhere,,, both outside and inside of you ,, this man does not care nor discriminate as long as you make/allow him to come :) and mainly my strongest point for this reasoning is because i imagine he would have some sort of self control/awareness when he fucks you, like how do i say this,,, te tiene respeto to be front about it,, like if you make it known you don’t want him to cum inside of you he has that shit sitting in the back of his mind while he’s deep inside of you no matter how pussy drunk you have him, he’s able to hold himself back you know? :))) but ofc if you don’t mind :) or if it’s ok with you :) he would absolutely love the feeling of coming inside of you :) as your squeezing around him :))) ,, being able to see the sight of his cum dripping out of your soft pussy :) but that’s just me :)

d-dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 

ok lets start off with something- it’s something about him that gives me voyeriusm and im not talking about him outright fucking you in front of someone sitting 2 inches away that’s able to see the whole thing, so no dont look at me like that and stop thinking about that because what i mean by that is he basically likes you to be as loud as you want when he fucks you, i think i talked about this before but i think he would not give a second thought/f*ck if there’s people or his guys in the house/around when he’s fucking you,, instead it boosts his ego towards the roof that he can coax you to produce so many noises that it’s too hard for you to keep quiet which just in turn makes him get an even cockier attitude to those around him,(omg please dont get me started on the thought of him having the most dirtbag look in his eyes,, cocky attitude plastered high onto his fucking forehead if he does this prior and knowing he would have some bum associate / one of his men needing to get him some information,, and they walk into the house and your high pitched moans are the first thing they hear :) and not long after :) his ass coming down :) clearly fucking sex drunk from you :) but ready for business talk while you rest up in the bedroom :) hngg) , im not sure if theres a specific name for this,, but thats basically what i think would be his “dirty secret”,, because he would never outright voice it out loud to you that you being as loud as you want while others are around gets him going,, he kind of just encourages you to do it for him during the deed you know? you just unknowingly indulge him you feel?

e-experience (is he experienced or not?)

soo just to check in with everyone once again and make sure we’re all on the same page as i am ? we have all seen the cocky fuvkin attitude this man carries right? how egoistic he can be at times?? thats the type of vibe i always seem to pick up whenever i rewatch any of his scenes ,, right ok,,, so it just makes sense ?? that this man has had his fair share of viejas ,, but with no feelings tied to any of them?and i know we don’t actually openly see him with anyone throughout s3,,, but damn it’s just the aura i get from him that makes me believe hes medio usado , for the streets,, thats the big thing here that i see him as being ,,, like especially that saying he’s always going on about ? “es que me gusta ser mi propio patron” head ass - that in itself just ties the knot for me on him since for me it means that this man is his own self , hes independent ,, and does not give a single fuck about anyones feelings besides his socios because that’s a whole different page ok? pero tu? su reina?? HIS CHULA?? the one who turned his whole sappy love life upside fuckin down in an instant and made him feel things hes never felt before ? yeah goodbye ,,he lays everything down for you if you even think of it because te trata como his reina del imperio, wow sorry to steer off of our main topic here but yeahh hes had his experience reached to a good level :) so he would :) definitely :) know the best :) way to get you on edge :) stimulate you right off the bat :) and just,, be a quick learner as soon as he catches up on what exactly you like,, he can just pick up on anything :) and :)) know like an expert on the first second :) where you like to be touched and held :)

f-favorite position 

my god- i feel like i could come up with so many different scenarios for each different position i can think about for him because i feel like hes open to a lot of them and i feel like he for sure likes more than 1 position and i just cant definitively pinpoint the number 1 favorite because hes open to it all sorry ,, but ohh this will be fun ,, i know i could easily list missionary because WOW right? so what sue me im a simple creature and i just love the thought of this position with mayo,, because you cant lie and tell me its not one of the most intimate positions because for 1. its a great position for the both of you guys to see the other in such an close space and 2) this mf,, mi mayo,, will make this position feel like anything other than missionary when the mood is set right like :) bending your legs until they almost reach your chest (like bending you right in f*vkin half ) or as far apart as your legs can go or him wrapping both of your legs around his waist,, the upper part of body still laying back on the bed and him just pumping into you just so he can get that angle and hit it over and over again inside of you,, him being able to see your entire body react in time with each snap of his hips into you or the way you arch into him when he drags his hand down the front of your body,, :) gripping onto your bouncing breasts as he slams into you,,, his eyes being able to see the way you would roll your eyes back into your head,, the pretty moans of his name spilling past your lips as you just helplessly lay there,, your hands not knowing if they want to grip the bedsheets every time he roughly thrusts back into your sopping pussy or if they want to dig into the skin on his chest to let out some of your frustrations as tears form in your eyes,, god im just hnng- and to not end things here,, maybe sometimes :) this position can move into something like :) him moving your legs to fully wrap around his waist,,, his hands moving under your back and pushing you up so your kind of sitting up with him :))) one of your arms coming to wrap around his shoulders :) your other hand planting itself onto his bicep (hnng can you just imagine the way his shoulders and biceps would be fuvkin flexing as he holds you) :) digging your nails into him while that same arm of his is holding onto your ass,, helping you bounce along with his thrusts :) his other hand is just dragging itself up and down your back :) you throwin your head back from the new angle hes pumping into you from :)) him moving his head down towards your bouncing breasts,, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples,, :) your moans becoming louder and louder as he rapidly pumps into you,, your hand thats around his shoulders coming to tangle into his hair, making him groan into you and making his grip on your ass become tighter, :) slamming yor hips down onto his pelvis :) the both of you trying to kiss the other but you cant help but spill out your whines and squeeze around him as you look down on him - wow ok um ill just leave this -

but again of course , im adding in a bit more because i have a feeling one of you guys might attack me if i leave it as i have this because missionary might be too simple so here para que no se me enojen because something else i feel like he would do is spooning :)) like in the mornings :) morning sex to be exact:))) where he would have your back to his chest :) essentially spooning you to him,,, one of his arms under you and being able to hold your breasts or travel up and hold your neck :) his other hand is holding one of your legs up :) so he can slide into you repeatedly easier, your soft moans mixing in with the sounds of his cock pumping into your slick pussy filling the room up, one of your hands would be reaching behind you :) and holding onto his hair when you feel him pepper kisses onto your neck :) you turning your head back occasionally to meet his mouth with your own,, hnng his hand thats on your breast :) moving to tweak your hardened nipple :)) his other hand that was supporting your leg, traveling down :) to your swollen clit :) wetly rolling it in between his fingers,, smiling against you when you break away from his lips to toss your head back,, your moans spilling out like the air you breathe :) and with the pinshe vista of mazatlan in front of you both :) i cant oh go- but also not me wanting to imagine how i know he would love to have you in that position, you know with your back to his chest but sitting up :) reverse cowgirl :))) but with this mirror thats propped up in front of you in your bedroom instead of the vista :) the thought of you being able to fully see how your pussy can take him full,, your breasts perfectly bouncing on time every time he thrusts up into you,, him holding your legs open :) one of his fingers :) playing with your clit :) and you being able to see his eyes :) through the mirror :) as you scrunch your face up from pleasure and how stimulating youre feeling from both the feeling of him and the view :)) hearing him groan out behind you when he feels you flutter around him :) and you throwing your head back against his shoulder,, his fingers just applying more and more pressure as he snaps his hips from roughly up into you,, him sucking little hickies onto your shoulder and along your neck :) praising you :) and just saying something like “su puta madre- mirame mi reina” wanting you to look back at him through the mirror :) im- him just encouraging you until you deliriously look up again only to lose all common sense and thought when you see him, again through the mirror,, and feel him and watch him :)) spread your pussy lips apart with his fingers :)) exposing yourself even more to him as he thrusts his cock up into your slick heat , an mesmerized look in his eyes as he watches you react :) small smirk on his face when he sees you scrunch your eyebrows together, you keening back into him again and im so sorRY woW

g-goofy (is he more serious or more humerous during the moment?) 

i see him not being too serious but not too goofy ya feel me ? i would say he’s definitely fuckin cocky all the time and there might be times he makes the both of your dreamily sex drunk minds smile lazily at eachother because of something he let slip out of his mouth or something,, but it’s all definitely heartfelt almost and in the moment passion, but never too much goofy-ness? it’s just right

i-intimacy (how are they during the moment?)

intimacyyy,, when it comes to you,,,,,, i def can see him leaning into his more intimate side ,, being so much more intimate than he would be with anyone else that exists in the world , eres special for him, especially if your relationship with him has gone on for a good while it just cranks it up even more,, i feel like other than him wanting to ruin you and see you walk funny for the next week which makes him get that even cockier attitude with everyone else,, it’s definitely something special for him to be able to let his walls down for once with you by being intimate and be able to tell you physically el nomas es para tu, and nothing will ever change that now, and so i feel like there will be days maybe specifically on some special occasion where he takes things slow for once and shows you how much he really does love you and how whipped you have him just to remind you where he stands with you :( because again as much as he tries to act all egoistic, it’s a drastic difference when it comes to you on the daily and he definitely tries to let you know that intimally when he can and doesn’t want to make you cockdumb-

j-jack off (does he jack off? how often etc)

ok,,, so sure maybe before you i could see him having his own time to himself and all,it’s definitely crossed his mind ,, but it wouldn’t be excessive nor it it be a regular occurrence ,, i have a feeling like before you it was more of little to none,, and i say that because i feel like he’s always so busy with his boat and negocios and all that that i feel like he wouldn’t take the time off to have time for himself, ? if you get what i mean ? but he’s definitely done it once or twice but it’s rare you know? i feel like he’d rather find some other method - or someone iykyk what i mean by that but when you do waltz into his life,, i just see him keeping the same vibe? he never / very rarely on the 0.01% does it because he has you now ,, you get his needs done and over-the-topped with so he sees no other method that can do that for him which includes even his own fist, so i see him as someone would would rather wait for any and all urges he may have until he has you with him, he doesn’t care for jacking off by himself

k-kink (one or more of their kinks)

hnnng i have already made a whole ass kink list for him so its tough for me to think of something else so I’ll just give you all this because listen, bondage,,, ,,\listen listen,,, mayo works on boats right,, its his front to cover up what he really does but hes continuously always working on his boat catching camarones,,, and we’ve seen him work on nets right? now im only reading the rules off to you guys so dont look at me because you cant tell me he doesnt know or at least an expert in tying knots because wow,, i just know he knows some special shit and if youre open to it :) best believe hes going to know the best way to tie you up :)) while he gets to fuck you :))) just- its such a sight for him to see you struggling :) not a single way for you to wiggle away from him :) when he has you spread out for him :) him chuckling when he gets you so desperate for him when he opens your legs for him,, slowly and agonizly thrusting his cock into you,, this thumb ghosting over your clit so him not giving you any buildup whatsoever even though youre throbbing around him,, the only thing you can really do as youre helplessly laying there is whine out to him,, trying to thrust your own hips up into him for any release while he just gives you the cockiet smirk ever and i cant do this byeE im about to -

l-location (favorite places to do the deed)

to be simple,,, i can always see him being intimate and doing the deed at home, probably even at almost any damn surface you can find hes probably had his way with you,, but best yet in your own shared room,, because only then does he actually 100% know no one is going to walk in and see what only he should be able to see ? he could care less how loud you want to be when youre both going at it at in your bedroom because as long as no one sees your body hes great,, i feel like he definitely likes the idea of privacy because then :) he can do as he pleases with you :) with no rush which is just fan-fucking-tastic for him, you know like take his time, and have his fun with you and the same for you,, its just a safe space basically for you both do to whatever you please,,, but obviously besides the comfort and “freedom” of your own shared bedroom which i feel 98% everything happens in there because its a place for sure no one can bother the two of you as ive said,, but :) i did mention “voyeuristic” vibes to an extent right ? wellll >:) i see no problem with him taking risks as hed like with you,,, loving to see the sight of either you or him whoever took the initiative to see the other crumble and try to be as quiet as possible so no one gets the clear idea of what you two are doing :) like he for sure has done it on his boat with you :),, at a party in some random but private place, but not private enough that either of you can make too much noise :) but yeah,, i can see him doing to do really almost any location if youre down, but leaning on the latter he likes doing it at home :)

m-motivation (what motivates them)

what gets him going? in all honesty, it does not take much for him when it comes to you,, something ive always pictured and imagined when it comes to him and getting him in the mood is the way you could look at him in a certain way and he’s forgetting whatever task hes at hand with and giving you his full attention,, or :) if you’re looking to get him all the way in until he’s making sure to absolutely ruin you by the first round is if you tease him, and you can definitely go down the road of wearing something skimpy and just going from there,, but it can also be you being more atrevida , giving him looks :) touching him “innocently” :) and then leaving him alone for the next hour like you didn’t just acknowledge him :) , so it takes little to no effort really to get him going,, he’s always down for you

n-no (something he wont do)

would hate to share you,, thats it,, or even the simple fact that someone looks at you for far too long/eating you up with their eyes you know? and yeah i feel like it goes for everyone because i keep seeing this pattern i do for this letter but its true, and it definitely applies to mayo here because he seems like the type to get bothered so quick he just doesn’t like to voice it or let it notice, and he just doesn’t ever like to admit he gets jealous to say the least on simple terms,, because i can just picture when some bum is eyeing you up or when someone is trying to talk you up into a more than friendly way,, this man would be lowkey throwing the harshest glare known to man at whoever is trying to take your time, his jaw starting to clench up,, and just trying to scoot you as close as possible to him just to quietly make it known your accompanied,, and i shit you not he probably starts to get a little more pda thrown out there like holding your hand, pecking the side of your head, maybe squeezing you tighter against him in the most nonchalant way to make sure you don’t get the hint he’s starting to get bothered,, lol and if you turn to look at him,, he’s back to normal, as cool as a cucumber and giving you a soft smile, and ugh him giving you an even bigger smile if you lean in to kiss him, boosting his attitude even more and once you turn around again, his fucking anger comes back but directed at whoever’s in front of you until he makes them uncomfortable heh, not wanting to descalate things into bigger shit because he doesn’t want that kind of attention you know? he kind of knows how to keep himself in check enough to not cause chaos ;) hnnnng but if you do :) try to push his buttons :) and entertain whoever it is :) is trying to talk you up :) best know the jealous sex :) is going to hit different :)) because he hates the idea of you being anyone else’s but his and i stand by my case :))))

o-oral (is he into oral? giving? recieving? 

both he is both go ahead and try to change my opinion turned fact,,, because give him the time,, and the view of you spreading your legs for him with the most atrevida look on your face and he’s already on his knees in front of you,, with his hands holding your legs even more open for him, dragging your body down to his face so he has better access,,,, his face pushed into your heat as his tongue spreads your folds,, just lapping you up through your soaked lips,, pushing :) his tongue into you, it has his fucking nose bumping your clit everytime he moves,,, im,, :) ugh him never moving his eyes away from your face, his smirk being hidden away from your folds, picking his pace up eveytime you look down at him through half-lidded eyes,, him grunTinG into you when your hands tangle into his hair and pull with fistfulls,,the vibrations from his muffled grunts shaking you through your core,, you cant help but lift your hips up :) to grind against his face him :) moving one of his hands down to spread your folds apart for him :) so he can focus on your clit with his mouth :)) wrapping his arms around your thighs so you cant move your hips so much against him :) just :)sucking your clit into his mouth :) not letting any of your slick go to waste :))) your moans and his name coming off of your lips higher each time it only encourages him to hold you in place for him even more until hes satisfies with how he leaves you :) hnng ,, going down on you would for sure bring him as much pleasure as you would be feeling :)

and ofc he is never one to ever turn down from receiving when it comes to you :)) seeing you on your knees is just a sight for him to enjoy way too much,, seeing your lips that he loves so much :) wrapped around his cock willingly :) ugh bye,,, , your eyes becoming teary as you look up at him,, some tears managing to run down your cheeks but him wiping them away as he grunts out watching you , mesmerized ,,, just you pushing his cock all the way into your mouth as much as you can fit :) until you gag on him :)) one of your hands is prettily resting at the base of his crotch :) and your other braced on his upper thigh :)) his hand is tangled into your hair to control the speed :) im- him throwing his head back slightly when you hollow your cheeks :) and he cant help but thrust his hips gently and gradually to meet the bobs of your mouth against him :) SoRry i just- ok

p-pace (is he slow and sweet? or fast and rough?)

oh my god ,,,, he is the type to give those slow, deep and rough strokes one minute but then absolutely jackhammer into you it has your body bouncing uncontrollably you have to blindly bring your hand down to hold some part of him because he could easily switch in a second to either pace,, so i want to say both,, because for one scenario,, like regular sex ? i feel like he has a buildup going on with him,, like como te digo,,, even on nights when hes fast and rough with you,, in the very beginning, when he first slides into you,, he starts slow and sensual you know? and then he just gradually builds his pace up from there until he starts pounding you into the bed you forget even what day of the week it is, and i feel like this type of sex is happening 95% of time you both take,, because i mean he loves seeing you go cockdumb ok,,, but ofc i can see him being slow and sensual sometimes, usually i can see it for when its a special occasion maybe, and he wants to make it special and vulnerable,, hacerte el amor pues,, so he’ll do slow and deep thrusts but his thrusts would still make you shake every time he bottoms out fully in you,, his hips rubbing against your pubic mound it makes you roll your eyes back wow :),, but hes a mix of both,, just leaning a bit more into rough and fast

q-quickie (is he into quickies?)

while i see him loving to drag any and all time he has for you ,, it doesn’t mean he wont push quickies out of the picture,,, while i feel like he wouldnt rely too much on quickies because he prefers the buildup without the rushing,, sometimes the ganas to have you are too much for him to patiently wait until he gets home to you,, so quickies are something the both of you might do if either 1) the teasing you both do to eachother become too much at some party or something so he takes you to the nearest secluded spot to release some tension,, or 2) it might be something where when the business starts to take off and hes not home all the time as he would like to be with you,, and quickies might bridge those gaps like early morning showers together for example :) or a quick morning sex thing just so youre both content for the time being but other than that, he definitely makes it all up in the end when time is available, he just uses quickies for when either of you break out in public :) or when things get tight

r-risk (does he take risks? experiments?)

would take risks in like the air he breathes ,,yes he’s all for it to be honest,, some of the ways i can see him taking such risks would be like car sex :) or maybe in some coat closet at some boring party,, :))) or up against the wall somewhere secluded enough but still running the risk someone curios enough to round the corner if they hear something could catch the two of you :)) i kind of explained it a bit earlier but i feel like he would definitely like the feeling of the rush/adrenaline that someone could walk around the corner or something and find you both in the middle of it,, going hard,,, because its really something about it (if he began it first) to see you try to hold yourself together as he has you up against the wall of some place, your hands palming and gripping onto his clothed back and shoulders as he thrusts up into you,, the overwhelming sensation of his hips snapping up into you in a rush, his hands grasping your legs and ass under this dress you you would have as he holds you up,, his face buried in between your neck that youre not sure if its to muffle himself from grunting too loudly if its for him to pepper kisses and bite into your skin to try and get some noise out of you just because hes feeling cocky :) and he wants to see you struggle even further than you are right at that moment and wow- but best believe the roles could most definetly switch if youre up for it :) maybe you giving him head :) because he was bored at some party you both would be at :) and what better way for you to help him with his problem by giving him a distraction :) his hand thats grabbing ahold of your hair struggling to not mess your hair up too much,, him struggling to hold his groans in and he just cant help himself but slowly thrust into your mouth when he hears you slightly gag on him :) hnng sorry im just enforcing it upon you guys that yeah hes down for taking risks no matter the place if youre comfortable enough :))

s-stamina (how long can he last?)

i want to say that i imagine he can go pretty far,, :)) he loves the sight of you having aftershocks after sex from both the intensity and time he took with you,, so i just have to say his stamina is definitely up there somewhere enough so he can fullfill that promise and sight for the both of you,, and he’s never one to turn you down whatsoever no matter what, so if you even ask him either verbally or con tus ojitos hes signing his name down to take care of anything for you and your pleasure,, he definitely vows to some secret shit that he wants to make every orgasm he makes you have to be better than the last, so he gets his stamina in check for you

u-unfair (how often does he tease?)

ok so again,, i just know he getss a kick out of it when he hears how desperate you can get for him,,(like the foreplayyyy my guys im telling you all,, because the build-up from him getting you to your breaking point before he even gets to fuck you fully is just my absoulte favorite palete sorry,, but anyways,,, i feel like he has a thing for when hes continuously teasing you,, and then giving into you but backing away all together when he feels youre about to cum,, and just the way your moans and breaths come out quicker,, the way your body might seem more sensitive and reactive to either his hand lightly traveling over your body pleases him to no extent, he loves the whole package of teasing alright ,,

but im sorry to add in that i also love the idea of you teasing him back :) like if you wear clothing thats barely covering you at all and not giving him any attention so much it gets him desperate for you is just ugghhh or when youre encabronada at him for some stupid shit he mightve pulled to get him on your nerves and if he doesnt see any wrong in whatever he did :) you just playing along with him when youre at your point,, indulging him in things like making out with him, wearing lingerie perhaps :)),,, maybe youre on top of him when hes leaned back on your shared bed frame ready to get ready to go to sleep but you have other plans :) like you starting to grind your hips down onto his :) building him up until hes heavily breathing against you,, his grip on your hips rock hard as you lean down to kiss him :) your hand coming in between you both,, under his pants, :))))) beginning to palm his hard on and getting him built up even more as you pump him in your hand,, and just when hes on the verge of coming :) you stopping everything and just getting up :) giving him this fake smile as he looks up at you all drunk but confused on why you stopped until you remind him that youre mad at him :) and youre not giving him the satisfaction of releasing :))) y that you want him sleeping on the couch for the rest of the week as you move to get yourself ready for bed,, acting like he doesnt even exist at the moment lol,, ayy you literally make him get blue balls and i laugh he probably wont ever do any dumb shit after all of this to be honest but i just love the thought of you teasing him back to the full extent as well :)

v-volume (is he loud while doing it?)

his volume,,, i dont see him doing a lot or overboard for that matter,, what i picture coming from him are groans and grunts ? but only for you to hear, so he’s either always grunting into your skin when he’s thrusting into you repeatedly or groaning in your ear when he feels you scratch down his back and shoulders or :) when he feels you tighten around him as he snaps his hips into yours :) or something else that falls under volume is the way he will whisper/lowly speak shit to you or praise you :) ,, just letting it be known to you how good you’re making him feel and all :))) and when it comes to you, ive said it before and i still stand by it he lives and breathes for volume / noises coming from you :) it makes him know he’s doing shit right if he’s coaxing you to make those noises for him :) and it only boosts his encouragement/ego if he hears you go louder :)))

w-wild card (something random)

i am currently screaming because im reading off of my little brainstorming list of ideas i have for him , dont look at me,, and i cant choose,, i want to share them all but ofc this whole work is long enough so let me just focus on one thing here because get this ,, i was originally going to add this into his nsfw headcanon i wrote a while back but i chickened out and scribbled it out in my final draft but it’s always been on the back of my mind and everytime i come to add something down on mayos ideas/left over writing, it’s one of the first fucking things i see which :) is cockwarming , now hold on let me tell you something because you know how i keep saying that i feel like he loves to see you lose your common sense by the seconds if hes teasing you or just building you up ? :) c*ockwarming is one of those traits :) because hes inside of you,, filling you to the brim as he :) perhaps :))) has you on top of him,, while hes slouched back :) youre just fluttering around him, your nails digging into his clothed chest/shoulders ,, him not wanting you to move or grind against him :) he just wants you on top of him with his cock inside of you,, and if you do try to move him :) him stopping you by gripping your hips,, :) quieting your whimpers :) by kissing you :)) whispering soft praises into you hnng im sorry i cant or something else i can picture thats somewhat differently is when he has you in bed,, and it happens during foreplay,, right before hes going to fuck you,, like :))) maybe him pushing your final button by sliding into you,, but stopping once hes all the way in you and staying there,, :) distracting you by kissing your lips :) and when you slightly buck your hips up into his to like signal him youre ready :) him coming to hold your hips down towards the bed in a harsh grip :) so you cant move :),, him leaning his body back so he can see you fully, youre eyes half closed, mouth open with small pants coming out from the pressure of his cock filling you all the way :)))) him just pushing his cocky side of his attitude out that he has by bringing one of his thumbs to massage circles onto your clit :)) wanting to see how he can make you moan this way without pumping into you :) just filled completely by him only and feeling your warmth wrapped around him wow ok

y-yearning (how high is his sex drive?)

probably average to high?? and i say that because i feel like his yearning is definitely always sitting on the back of his mind simply because i can picture him always wanting or needing to touch/hold some part of you when he has you near him and i dont know if it’s because he’s whipped for you so much he just needs to feel you next to him :) or if maybe he likes having that security sense that he has you close to him in case something goes sideways and he can protect you but it might be both,, so i feel like all of that definitely transfers to his yearning/sex drive to say the least since i feel like he’s always down for whatever as long as you give the green light to him,, because for example say his name once in the most neutral or even yet the softest tone ever and he’s internally turning into a puddle because it’s you his favorita mujer/tesoro de sus ojos that’s calling out to him and he’s dropping everything pendiente to see why you need him and :) if it’s you :) needing him :) or showing him a surprise :)))) of you wearing something :) his ass is 100% ready :) just imagine a light switch if you will when it comes to his yearning, he keeps it away when not needed but he’s ready to go once you say so :)

z-zzz (how quickly does he fall asleep afterwards?)

listen he won’t ever admit it,, but he turns into such a sap for you after sex, even if he’s cocky 99% of the time,, i know mi hombre like no other because you both were just being intimate with one another , even if he fucked you into no tomorrow but you both were literally at your most vurnable points he can’t help but literally let all of his walls down (not that he doesn’t already with you around ) but he feels like it’s his “duty” to make sure you’re alright and attended to ? so he definitely waits for you to fall asleep first, and in the meantime :) i can most definitely as i slam my hand down see him filling up the time in between you slowing down your heavy breaths to the time you fall asleep by just holding you against him, your head just on his chest as he wraps his arm around your shoulders,, saying the most random shit it would have you softly giggling against him, ugh him planting soft kisses to the top of your head,, loving the feeling :( of you cuddling against him :( your hand that’s on top of his chest probably drawing random figures but it makes him burst on the inside :( and ughhh him just holding you closer when he sees you starting to fall asleep :(( giving you hardcore h e a r t e y e s :(

taglist: @coaxium-captain-rex @visintaes @sheeshgivemeabreak @artemiseamoon @wtfisgoingonlol @boomclapxox @carlislecullenisadilf @ashlingiswriting @fleurfatale89​ 

let me know if you want to be added! 

[meowzfordayz]

talk to me

Author’s Note: wrote this instead of going to sleep. 🥱 Hurt/comfort, angst/fluff has a special place all the places in my heart. That is all. ❤️‍🩹

talk to me

Kamado Tanjirou x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader

Word Count: ~2,000

CW: explicit language, implied OC death, traumatic references

~faqs~

So I initially started writing these as Preferences

But yIKES they def need to be written as Headcanons

Like ugh 🤪

No I am not tipsy hehehe🍷

No I do not feel the overwhelming urge to self insert and gush over KNY cuties 😍

Shhh

Tanjirou’s attentive

Always paying close attention to your smiles

Your laughter

If/when they appear/sound… off

Not to mention your scent

Warm, familiar, comforting

Like walking into your favorite shop

Opening your favorite book

Inhaling your favorite tea’s steam

Falling nose first into a pile of freshly laundered… laundry (that sounded more poetic in my brain whoops)

When you leave to go somewhere in the morning and the air soaks into your lungs just right

So he’d definitely notice the moment your scent… soured

Scents are fickle, tricky things, yanno?

He wouldn’t jump to conclusions

Maybe you stubbed your toe earlier

Or just remembered something and are having that oh-shit-I-forgot moment

If he can smell you, then he’s prob nearby (Idk how far his range is 😆)

So he checks in real quick

“You doing alright darling?”

—Darling and sweetheart are my favorite what-they-call-you nicknames for Tanjirou

—He’s just so… tender? Gentle? His soul is fricking kindness incarnate like literally 😭

—Hm I’ve seen those hcs before… mayhaps I should do a nicknames hc too?!

—Getting sidetracked heh

He catches you off guard

Cause you’re, uh, upset distracted

But you play it cool

“Absolutely, Tan. And you?” offering him that tiny, intimate smile that he oh so deeply adores

“I’m doing great!”

And then yada yada the day goes by

You’re a little quieter over dinner

Still playing it cool

“Dinner was delicious, Tan. I’m tired. Did a lot of cleaning today.”

He nods fondly, “I appreciate all that you do for our estate.”

You perk up a bit

He makes a mental note to verbally praise you more often—Thank [y/n] for doing x, y, and z

Not that he doesn’t already shower you in adoration and gratitude

But oftentimes it’s more general endearment

—Most of his to-do-everyday list revolves around you

By choice

You’re his darling dearest 💘

Not to mention his guilt and feeling of constantly missing you when he’s away on missions

After dinner, you wash — he dries

“Head to bed, darling? I can finish up here.”

You peck his jaw

He watches you leave

Sighs contentedly ☺️

He’s such a sappy mf

Dishes are washed, dried, and put away

He’s excited to cuddle, snuggle, sleep 🤗

“Darling?” he frowns at your huddled form in the center of the bed, angled away from the bedroom’s entrance

“M’fine,” you mutter

You don’t look fine

He inhales

You smell like…

Waking up and not knowing how long you slept for — not knowing what time it is

A dimly flickering candle in an otherwise darkened room — smoky and heavy

The stillness of failure — regret, sadness, faint traces of doubt

“May I come in?”

You want to say No—you  really don’t want him seeing you like this

Don’t want him blaming himself

They’re your shadows to melt

Your pain to withstand

“Yes.”

Nonononono

He brightens at your granting of permission, eager and desperate to hold you

“M’fine,” you mumble again as he sits legs crossed, facing you

“Talk to me,”  he murmurs

“M’talking,” you huff

“Darling…” he places an open palm in front of you between his feet and yours

You stare at it

“Talk to me.”

Never demanding

Only

Hopeful

You put your fist in his palm

Of course he can feel you trembling

His fingers curl around your tensed fingers

Thumb rubbing the top of your hand

“May I hold you?”

Nonononono

“Yes.”

You choke down a sob

“Yes, yes, yes,” a whimper, “T-tanjirou.”

He cradles your head to his chest

Can smell the extent of your exhaustion

As you cling to his haori

“Talk to me.”

He whispers, aching and softness in his throat

“Let me help you.”

A sob of his own muffled by your hair

“Talk to me.”

Cocky lil shit 😎

But also a very caring, cocky, lil shit 😇

If that makes sense?

Sanemi totally does feelings

Just not super well ?? 🙃

Can tell when something’s bothering you

Bc suddenly something’s bothering him too

“Can you stop breathing?” he snaps

Wait

Oops

Fuck

“So loudly, can you stop breathing so loudly.”

He tries to correct himself

Really not much better tho Shinazugawa 🤨

Too late

“Sure, sure, sorry to bother you,” you retort airly

He groans frustratedly

You + Airy = Something Isn’t Right

And he just asked you to stop breathing ?? 😵‍💫

Loudly, to stop breathing so loudly

Ugh

They don’t care

You fucked up

All of this being muttered to himself, by himself

He decides to give you space

—Tbf, sometimes space is necessary

—But like, you’re upset

—Not angry

—And not at him (at least, not originally)

—You don’t need s p a c e rn

—Well, maybe a little space since he was just rude af

—But not the damn silent treatment !!

Obvi, precious Sanemi

Bless his trying-its-best heart 🥺

Doesn’t realize he’s giving you the silent treatment

Let them come to you he assumes is the best course of action

But you don’t come

And he’s too anxious that you’re… irredeemably pissed off?

Like, he’s irredeemable

Not you

Ugh gotta love mutual misunderstandings 😫

Okay misunderstandings suck, but the drama

Day 1 of not talking, and he’s managing

He’s not the biggest talker—like, proper, non snarky convo—anyway

You being the exception, but he’s not so codependent that he can’t handle not talking with you for a day

Day 2 of not talking, and he’s worried

Isn’t chewing at his fingernails yet

But srsly considers saying something

Even just “good morning sunshine” (man doesn’t often use pet names, but fuck you make him smile)

Until you stalk away before he can even finish approaching you

Like damn ☹️

Okay 😔

Day 3, and he’s antsy af

Getting on everyone’s asses to spar w/ him

Bc fuck it if he can’t have a conversation then he can at least have a physical outlet

But nobody wants to spar w/ him

They can tell something’s going on between y’all

And even Inosuke’s smart enough to not jump in the middle

Day 4, and he’s literally pulling at his hair He can’t even find you

Where tf did they go?

I’m sick of this petty shit

“Have you seen [y/n]?”—Negative

Now, avoiding him is one thing

But

“NOBODY KNOWS WHERE [Y/N] IS?!”

Zenitsu’s cowering

Poor baby’s been cornered by one panicked, furious Shinazugawa Sanemi

Tanjirou walks past, eyes wide, flower crown in hand for Nezuko

Sanemi blacks out

Not literally

BUt FUCK

…

He finds you on the hill

He should’ve known

Should’ve looked there first

Should’ve remembered

Should’ve

Should’ve

“Nemi.”

Even the strongest winds wouldn’t be able to snatch your voice from him

“[y/n],” he’s kneeling behind you in an instant, arms wiry and hot and safe around you

“Sorry,” you whisper

He shushes you gently, chin propped lightly on your shoulder, eyes reading the name on the grave marker in front of you

“I can’t believe I forgot. I thought you’d just woken up on the wrong side of the bed,” he chuckles wryly

“You told me to stop breathing.”

You don’t mean to whimper

It just

Happens

Sanemi blinks, aghast

“Talk to me, [y/n],” his embrace tightens, lips against the back of your head

“Tell me about them,” he reaches for your hands, the knot in his gut unraveling as you immediately lace all of your fingers through all of his

“Remind me,” he murmurs as quiet tears drip from your eyes onto his forearms

“Help me love them as much as you do,” he presses a reassuring kiss to your ear

“I want to cherish you and everything you are. Everything—everyone—you love.”

Sorry not sorry, can’t stop won’t stop

To me this man is just

Cries in crying

Ya feel ?????

Tomioka Giyuu + talk to me ≠ Realistic Scenario

—Most of his “talking”, at least in the anime, is fucking inner monologue jeez 😬

Unless you’re his sun, moon, and stars

Which, you are

You with your barrage of

Opinions, questions, remarks, compliments, you-name-it-you’ve-said-it

Your silver tongue coaxing his own opinions, questions, remarks

Even a handful of compliments

[y/n]-san... you’re shining, today

“I’m not shining every day?” 😉

Wha- That’s- Uh- No- Yes- s q u e a k

Ofc, Giyuu doesn’t squeak at least not audibly

He hasn’t said it all yet

But he’s getting there

For you, he wants to

Wants to share every opinion he’s ever had

Wants to ask about your favorite color, whether you prefer sunrises or sunsets, if you pester him because you—like—him, or if you’re just being ~nice

Wants to casually chat about the weather you’re experiencing, the food you’re eating, the book(s) you’re reading

Wants to tell you that catching you gazing at him is his favorite part of every Hashira meeting

And that he hopes you catch him gazing too

That you’re mesmerizing, dangerous, beautiful

With and without your katana

Man’s whipped for your honesty and integrity — for your mirth and ease

But like, back to reality for a sec

Giyuu needs to practice this skill called “talk”

In the mirror with himself as he starts and ends his days just doesn’t suffice

If it did, then he wouldn’t stumble on every other word around you

Full sentences, entire thoughts

Shortened to

“Uh-”

“Hey I-”

“Would you-”

“Never mind-”

“I’ve got somewhere to, to be, yeah-”

Gah

Half the time you’re concerned he’s suffocating

What with his frequent strangled gulps and hard swallows

The lack of incessant chatter irks Giyuu

He’s finally, finally, ohmygosh on a mission with you Just you

To deal with a nest of demons terrorizing a logging area

Not exactly a two Hashira job

Oyakata-sama = Match Maker ?????

And you’ve hardly said a thing since it started 😞

He’s trying to reason w/ himself

As he runs slightly staggered behind you

Maybe they’re being respectful ??

But that don’t make no sense, bc usually you’re far from shy about jabbering around him

Maybe they’re sleepy ??

Once you get to the mission’s location, you’re expecting it to be p easy

But you’re on your second day of nonstop travel

Literally been awake for ~48 hrs

And even Hashira get fatigued

It’s a shame Giyuu can’t bring himself to just fricking ask

Like heyo what’s up cutie why aren’t ya talking?

Not that he would ever say anything close to that

More like

[y/n]-san, is… something wrong?

He inhales deeply

Your eyes narrow at the change in rhythm of his breathing

Is he tiring?

You’re almost there — should arrive before the end of the day

“[y/n]-san.”

His voice—smooth, effortless So he isn’t tired?—startles you from your pondering

“Is…”

“Is something wrong?”

You halt

Oomph

Giyuu crashes squarely into your frozen back

Not his most graceful moment

But how was he supposed to anticipate a seemingly harmless—thoughtful, considerate—question eliciting such a reaction?

He quickly retracts himself from you, fiddles with his haori

You’re still

Unmoving

“We’re heading to my village,” your tone is… apathetic

He may be dense when it comes to his crush on you

But this? He connects the dots fairly quickly

“That’s why I wasn’t sent alone,” you shrug. “In case I couldn’t… handle it,” you mutter harshly

I’m sorry, [y/n]-san sticks to the roof of his mouth

“There’s nothing there for me,” you turn, humorless smile tugging at your eyes And still, fear threatens to render you useless

“I don’t believe you,” Giyuu speaks softly

“You don’t have to. You just have to… help me” everything about your stance screams LEAVE ME ALONE

So, naturally, Giyuu steps toward you 💀

“Talk to me,” he says simply

He doesn’t acknowledge your grip on your katana’s handle

Still Stepping

Toward you

“Talk to me,” he says quietly, “What do I have to do?”

Your grip falters

He’s a step from puncturing your personal space bubble

“[y/n]-san,” he rasps, “Give yourself this moment,” he crosses the threshold from too close to notcloseenough

A heartbeat later, and you’re hugging yourself firmly to his shocked body

“You can talk to me,” he whispers, stunned and impressed I’m actually using words?! Nicely done Tomioka Giyuu !! *pats himself on back*

“I get scared when you don’t,” he confesses hoarsely

“So, please, [y/n]-san... talk to me.��

[princeofyorkshire]

guys. GUYS. i just finished the album. UM.

first of all: FUCKKKKK

i am in love with this album. like i’m not fucking joking i was a bit scared i wasn’t gonna like it that much cause i’ve never been a pop punk girlie but this is genuinely a great album from start to end. no skip album. i’ve enjoyed it so much. GOD.

the greatest: dude. THIS is how every album should begin. such a strong start it got me hooked so fast. the fucking STRINGS???? “it’s you and me until the end”????? i am losing my mind and it’s only the first song

written all over your face: ok i see you mutuals i get it. I GET IT. i was like how good can this song be why is everyone so obsessed with the way he says hey babe. and i get it now. this man is moaning in my ear and i’m pretending to be fine. this is fucking sexy. he is fucking sexy oh my god

bigger than me: yes i am including the singles idc! i really don’t think it was The Odd One i honestly do think it fits in the album. and it still slaps. i love you baby girl thank you for the vocals

lucky again: um hi he sounds SO SOFT IN THIS ONE. but still so hot. it’s such a vibe!!!! i really really liked this one. he was lucky once he could be lucky again <3

face the music: i have a lot of weaknesses when it comes to louis but him singing about dancing has a special place in my heart. “i don’t want to face the music but i still want to dance with you” is such a soft lyric i’m sobbing. the pre chorus is EVERYTHING

chicago: STRINGS STRINGS STRINGS STRINGSSSSS. his voice is specially soft in this one wow. “would you have told me to keep going or would you say to walk away?” GOD. louis is the king of writing sad bangers he never fucking misses

all this time: MY JAW DROPPED??????? ok wow i was not expecting this vibe. i fucking love his voice idc how many times i say this he just sounds so good in this one although it kinda does get lost in the music a bit. still obsessed.

out of my system: ok again i’ve listened to this song a million times but it’s still so hot and sexy and i’m so glad it’s a single she deserves a lot more attention and promo that it got but alas TURURURURURURURU TURURURU!!!!

headline: first of all. ACCENT? i feel like it’s much stronger in this one. it’s so vibey i can’t stop smiling while dancing!!! idk what it is about it it just makes me very happy. what did he put in this song!!!!! the ending made me scream a bit like why did he just end it like THAT. i love it. fuck

saturdays: another sad banger!!! THE FUCKING BUILD UP!!!! i was scared it wasn’t leading to anything but it did and it fucking killedddd it wow. WOW. also. “my heart might be broken but i won’t be broken down” FUCK!!!!!

silver tongues: ok another slays obvs. for some reason i kinda hear don’t let it break your heart in the beginning??? maybe it’s just the piano but idk. speaking of piano….. i kinda wish it wasn’t included at the beginning BREAKING MY SILENCE. idk why i’m not a fan of the build up BUTTTT the rest fucking slaps. it’s one of those songs that just make you happy u know. there’s this nostalgic feeling as well that i really really like

she is beauty we are world class: ok. ok i see you. this one is definitely different i like that he’s including something like this although i think this might be my least favorite…. 🫣 it def has some club vibes which i think is cool, i like that he’s experimenting with his sound and it’s def a nice addition to the album although it’s not really my thing

common people: first line already got me <3 i love that he’s so connected to his roots and who he is :’) such a soft song. it’s a lovely tribute to donny and his fam!! “when i get lost i go back to where i started” <3

angels fly: THE LYRICS IN THIS ONEEEE. pls i love that the album just becomes more and more soft as it goes….. i don’t have much to say except that this one hits harddddd god my heart is so full of love for him

holding on to heartache: i couldn’t stop thinking about the way he says darkness and silence like that broke my brain until i heard him scream you know the partys over WOWWW!!!!! like wow. i fucking loved the build up. this was crazy

that’s the way love goes: um how is this the last song already WHAT. anyway it’s so fucking soft hello? i love louis writing about friendship so much it’s not something we really hear from him in his music and i’m glad he decided to end this amazing album w a sweet ballad like this one. really really liked it

overall i think it’s THE album. it’s so fucking louis. the evolution from walls to this is beautiful to see. i do love walls but the production, the lyrics, the sound itself is so much mature, you can almost hear the confidence in it. i’m so proud of louis and this record. i can’t wait to hear it live someday <3

[willowser]

willow! happy sunday! ahh so i spent my morning curled up in bed reading pt1 & 2 of ‘southern charm’! and oh my goodness. cowboy bakugou…we all needed this in our life.

i have kind of come off a binge of the show ‘yellowstone’ (cowboy show lol)— which funny enough, i was telling my friend as i binged id never thought cowboys were hotter till that show..but now; i think it has been topped with ‘southern charm’ 😆!

i think the entire setting suits bakugou’s personality so well! in pt1 i really feel like reader was living out a fantasy we all have been guilty of — like hot guy in a bar eyeing you up. and also i think the breakup is a one sided love, sadly loads of us know. so just felt so easy to slip into reader’s mindset (at least for me!). side note: chisaki for the role of germaphobe-cold-ex(?)-bf is so perfect. he isn’t someone i see featured in a lot of fics and so it was a lovely surprise to me and it suits the story so well!

okay so back to thirsting over bakugou — i loved how the entire night he was making sure reader was ‘good’ and re-assuring and calming…and just kept helping reader get out of their own head! and then when he loses his composure for a second finally when he goes to get the condom…i was so into this moment lol. seeing his cool exterior break for a second ahhhh!

so then pt2! ahh i just felt that ‘snap’ happen as he gives reader the “well…i got things to do…” bit, and i know at least a few times in my life i have so badly wanted to let it all out like that. to just stomp away with all that rage, and have the confidence to do it. but its just quick explosion of feelings, because once all that anger is burned through, and the adrenaline gone…the inevitable break down that hits. so for reader to make it all the way to their sister’s house and finally crumble under the weight of all the emotions…it was so incredibly well written & we could feel it.

ah so last note — as i feel like i could ramble on forever whenever i stop by someone’s inbox: i love kirishima and yume’s family, and how i dont think the reader is “jealous” of yume for having this life, but def has a tug of longing while flipping thru all those photos? maybe something like that.. esp coming off the breakup…i am so excited to see where the story will continue but absolutely love all the build up so far! will be lovely to see how everything comes together! i know you had a stressful time getting part 2 out but it was so worth it and all your hard work really shows. thank you for sharing it with us!

so wait — last last note: the snippets of what i am assuming are reader’s story they are working on (?), add another layer to the story as well! very interested in seeing how reader’s experiences are going to shape their own writing…(if i totally got this wrong pls ignore this 😶‍🌫️)

ok done rambling on — pls have a lovely lovely rest of your weekend! ♥️

rin 🥺 dear 🥺 i have been — saving this in my inbox to look back on, because it is so sweet and close to my heart and has been such a blessing to receive ! thank you so much for not only taking the time to read, but for sending this in !!

i'm actually so happy that you mentioned kiri's family ! i think you are the first to do so ! i am vicariously living through them. yume is me. bakugou who. i don't care about him, i just want cowboy kirishima and our lovely two children LOL but i am really glad that how reader-chan feels is coming across correctly, because you are absolutely right; it's not that she's really jealous of her sister, but she just wants to know what that feels like, too, that's all. and it's hard to watch someone get that over and over again, and for you not to receive a crumb ! so i'm really glad there isn't any hostility being read into the text there.

and yes ! the snippets of frances and the stranger in between are meant to be the book reader is working on, and i'm glad that it's clear those two interactions are being a little shaped by what's going on in reader's own life. i hope you enjoy what is to come between those two firecrackers !

again, thank you so much for leaving me such a wonderful message ! it really was hell getting this thing up LOL but to hear your appreciation and receive your praise makes it all worth it, in the end 🌸✨💐🌙

[secretsandwriting]

Ok so I was on that site which gives u prompts cause I saw it on Pinterest and I thought maybe send these prompts to you so ya ^^

I can see this happening

The friend whispering is def Jason

Don't mind me, just casually tucking the last one away to write a longer version of later...

They're very short. But it's 2:30 and I'm not very tired since I screwed myself with a nap from 5:30-9 this evening.

"Damian, you need to let go! I'm going to miss my flight!" You were going on a trip for work but Damian didn't want to let you go. So he was acting like a child and refusing to let you go.

"Damian! This is important!" He mumbled something into your back that you couldn't understand. "Damian al Ghul Wayne let go of me now!" He just held on tighter. "Damian please! I need to go. It's for work! I'll only be gone a week and no I won't cancel. Believe it or not I like my job and want to keep it! Just let me go!!" He mumbled into your back again. "I can't understand you when you're taking into my back."

Finally he pulled his head away, whether or not you would like what he had to say was unknown. It could be anything with Damian.

"What am I supposed to do while you're gone?" That was unexpected. Out of everything you thought he might have said, that wasn't one of them.

"... What do you usually do when I'm gone?" Maybe he was just trying a new tactic to get you to stay? But probably not. Damian wasn't one who really liked to manipulate people for reasons as simple as this.

"Wait for you to come back…" You almost missed it and from his silence. It was true but he didn't mean for it to slip and he was hoping you didn't hear it.

"Well, I'm sure you could see if Jon and Billy are free. Maybe do a bit more patrolling, you haven't had much time to paint recently so you could do that." Damian pulled you closer again and his head was back in your back.

"Damian if I miss my flight. You're staying back at the manor for the next month and I'm going to spend the entire month with your entire family except you." You were dating a grown ass child.

----------------------

"What the fuck?!" Tim stared down at his coffee cup. Written on it was "Tem".

Tem. How the fuck did anyone get Tem from Tim. There's an obvious difference.

The next time he got coffee, his name was spelled wrong again. And again and again. But sometimes it was right. So he started paying more attention. It only happened when the barista Y/n was there. Then his name was spelled wrong, or just a completely different name that was close enough to it.

"What are you doing?" Dick came up behind him and looked at the list he had on his computer.

"This is a list of all the wrong ways Y/n has spelled my name." Dick whistled as he looked through the list.

Tem,

Tiim

Tiiiiiiiiiiiim

Teeeeem

Timê

Jim

Him

Thim

Sim

Hem

Toim

And the list went on. He kept adding whenever there was a new one. But it was getting annoying. Finally one day, after a bad day he'd had it. Thankfully he was the only customer.

"Why the fuck are you always spelling my name wrong. It's not even an accident with at least 90% of them!" Y/n just stared at him and pointed at the other girl who was working.

"I blame Myah, she's the one who told me." What? Even Myah looked offended.

"Excuse you, I just said I spelled the names of those I found attractive wrong. I never said to do it!"

Tim felt the heat of a blush coming up and watched Y/n's face go red. Oh. That's not what he expected. Y/n found him attractive? Shit. The only reason he hadn't snapped before was because she was pretty.

"Um…" he was about to start embarrassing himself if he spoke but that was the only nice way out of this. A slam against the counter shocked them both. Myah was standing there staring at the two.

"You two are hopeless! Just exchange numbers!"

--------------------

Dick couldn't help himself, you had been invited to the gala and frankly, the best looking person there. The dress you wore was stunning, it fit you perfectly. The color was stunning, it matched your skin and made you look like you were glowing. The dim lighting of the room only made it more obvious.

He heard more than saw someone come up next to him. Judging but the size, it was Jason. Which could only mean one thing.

"Why are you so thirsty?" He looked to see Jason staring at him. A grin with nothing but trouble in it. "Maybe we should go talk to her."

"No! I mean I should probably go talk with th-" Jason grabbed him by the wrist and started pulling him in your direction. If he fought too much it would make a scene. So he started praying and went along.

"Oh! Hi Jason and Dick!" He was screwed. Your voice was so pretty.

------------------

"How the fuck is she sleeping? And so close to him too?" Dick stared at you, trying to figure out how you could sleep right next to Jason when his snoring sounded like a train! It wasn't fair.

"I mean, they've lived together for a few years now. She's probably used to it by now." Tim looked like he was about to crash. But considering the fact he hadn't slept in 3 days, it wasn't surprising.

"Either that or she sleeps like the dead." Damian chimed in. He looked ready to murder Jason. But then again, Dick was considering it too.

"Unfortunately, the girls won't let us out until they finish their project…" it was going to be a long night.

[peach-pops]

Amorentia || Kuroo Tetsurō

summary: amorentia has a different scent or aroma for anyone who smells it and the potion, if done correctly, can remind the user of things or more specifically someone they find most attractive, even if the said person is oblivious in their attraction. 

word count: 3.1k

warnings: none 

authors note: i dont know why i always end up writing for kuroo but this dude just speaks to me on an inspirational level ya know? kuroo is a ravenclaw in this but the reader is gn and i didn’t specify what house the reader is in to make it a bit more inclusive. credits to @rhymewithrachel​ for the picture of kuroo which you can find here and pls check out their page for more amazing art! also i def feel like i’ve written the last few lines on like another piece i’ve done but oh well if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it

The library was eerily still for a Thursday morning but you relished in how quiet it was. You had found the perfect sweet spot; not too late where you would forget breakfast but early enough to where you would avoid the morning rush of students who would try to find a quiet spot to study. 

The lowly lit lanterns were useless since the sun was beginning to peak its way through the windowpane behind you and the small semblance of light drew your attention to the dust that was floating lazily in the air.

Even though there were hardly any students around you, you felt as though you were tucked away from the world as you spread your legs out against the leather couch with a Magic Potions: Basic for Beginners textbook settled in your lap. Besides the ever so often sound of a few students rustling their papers, it was truly peaceful. 

“ Good morning beautiful, mind if I join you?” 

Bloody hell. 

You looked up from your textbook to see Kuroo standing over by your legs that were neatly crossed over each other. You would be lying if you said you weren’t slightly taken aback by seeing him so early in the morning but even if he did manage to wake up on time for class, his hair was still a disheveled mess from his horrid bedhead. 

“ You’re up early,” You replied normally as you turned your attention back to your book,” by the way, your tie is crooked, might want to fix that, yeah?” 

You and Kuroo were both in the same year but you two didn’t officially get acquainted until your fourth year when he had “accidentally” spilled butterbeer all over you and then attempted to wipe it off with his bare hand. 

“ Shit, I-I am so sorry! Let me just-”

“ Can you stop feeling me up and get me a napkin instead, you creep?” 

“ A creep? I’m nothing short of a gentleman- speaking of which, are you dating anyone by chance?” 

“ Are you joking? As if I would be under the accompaniment of a clumsy Ravenclaw like yourself.” 

Your vow was fully ignored and by some weird alignment of the planets, you two had been inseparable since. Of course, Kuroo still spent his time over the past two years trying to woe you in some way and while you used to find yourself flustered over his charm, you managed to get used to the constant flirting between the two of you. 

Who were you kidding, the flirting was mostly one-sided unless you weren’t exhausted trying to think of witty comebacks to try and get him stumbling over his words like the first time you two met. 

However, you weren’t blind. You were bold enough to admit to yourself that over the years, Kuroo got progressively wittier, taller, and yes, possibly more attractive. You would never admit it out loud but there was a slight possibility you were starting to see him in a different light.

Nonetheless, you figured feelings like those would just come and go, and surely you didn’t actually have feelings for him. 

Kuroo looked down at his tie and shrugged nonchalantly before fixing it,” I was tossing and turning all night, poor Akaashi had to sleep in the common room because I was keeping him up too. Quidditch tryouts are this afternoon and I’m hoping we can get a strong team together so we can keep up our legacy.”

“ First-year as captain and you’re already nervous,” You clicked your tongue against your teeth as you took another bite of your raspberry scone, utilizing the silence between the two of you as you finished chewing,” hopefully Ravenclaw will get some wins this year. You know, for your own sake and my sanity.” 

“ Okay ouch, first of all, you know you’re not supposed to eat in the library it’s forbidden,” Kuroo crossed his arms playfully over his chest as you only hummed in response,” and second of all, maybe if I had someone special cheering me on, I would do immensely better.”  

You knew he was only being smug since you always showed up to his games but nothing was more entertaining than watching Kuroo practically gush over Quidditch only for you to act somewhat disinterested. 

“ Aw, do you want me to show up with some blue and bronze paint over my face? Maybe even bring a poster with your name on it with little hearts decorated on the border because I have sooo much free time on my hands?” You teased as you played with your hair while pouting back up at him, relishing in the way he shifted from side to side,” honestly Kuroo, you know I have better things to do than to watch you fly around like a lunatic.” 

Kuroo smirked to himself but said nothing to retaliate as he offered his hands to help you out of your seat once he saw the time,” Come on, you know Slughorn will throw another fit if we’re late again and by the looks of it, you can’t afford falling behind.” 

For a moment, you thought that maybe you had gone too far. His response was almost disappointing in contrast to how he would usually retort with something wittier of the sort but it was out of your control now. 

You closed your textbook and grabbed Kuroo’s hands so he could help you off the leather couch but once he got you up to your feet, his strong grip on your hands didn’t release. 

Your chests were almost touching and the distance between you two was so small, you could distinctively smell his signature vanilla aftershave that he put on every morning. You looked down at your hands that were fitted perfectly against his as Kuroo leaned down close to your ear, his breath tickling your neck.

“ Don’t act so coy, Y/N. I know you would love nothing more than to wear my jersey so that everyone else could know you like me.”

You could feel the heat rise from your chest to your ears as you slipped your hands out from his to hold your textbook to your chest, as if it would cool you down. You fiddled with the spine of the textbook as a distraction as Kuroo smiled back innocently at you to give you time to compose yourself. 

�� D-Don’t say things like that, you’re my friend and that’s all,” You stammered as you slapped his shoulder to make the tension less thick,” and wipe that grin off your face, you look like an idiot!” 

Kuroo laughed, easing whatever tension was left in the air as he bumped your shoulder with his, “ Fine, fine, I’ll stop but only because you’re my special friend.”

“ You’re the worst.” 

“ And you love it.”

“ Are you sure we’re doing this right?” You asked Kuroo as he sprinkled in the powdered moonstone while you stirred the concoction slowly. 

You surveyed the room as you watched your fellow classmates fail miserably at the assignment at hand, some being greeted with thick clouds of smoke while others potions just combusted into flames. 

You flinched at the sound of shrieking and looked up to see Sugawara and Daichi backing away from their cauldron as a mass of black tar started to slither out towards them. Slughorn had warned everyone that this potion was tricky to master but you didn’t think it would be this difficult and as time passed, the more anxious you grew. 

Kuroo, as unbothered as ever, looked down at the instructions for a moment before turning his attention back at the cauldron,” Yep, triple checked it and everything. You sure are nervous today.”

“ I’m always nervous during this class, you know I’m awful at potions. Plus look what happened to Oikawa, he’s in the hospital wing because of this lab.” 

“ He’ll be fine, the flames weren’t too high, he probably just lost an eyebrow,” Kuroo teased, trying to keep your mind at bay,” are you sure you’re not nervous because we’re concocting Amorentia?” 

You continued to stir the mixture carefully as you only scoffed,” Why would I be nervous of a silly little love potion?” 

“ First off, Amorentia is one of the most powerful love potions in existence so show some respect,” Kuroo said as you only rolled your eyes back at him,” And second of all, maybe you’re nervous because this will finally prove that you have feelings for me.” 

“ Knock it off before I send you to the hospital wing nerd,” You replied hastily as Kuroo put his hands up in defense,” Are you sure you’re not the nervous one? You’ve been acting weird since class has started...like more mouthy than usual.” 

If you didn’t know any better, you could’ve gone the whole lesson completely oblivious to Kuroo’s nervous tics, but after years of being friends, you knew better than to pass them off as normal tendencies. 

Kuroo rubbed the corner of the textbook page between his fingers as his eyes read the directions over again to try and ground himself in his thoughts. He had re-read the same step of the last instruction for the past couple of minutes to look occupied but his facade was starting to fall apart. 

“ If you paid more attention to the assignment instead of me, maybe you would pass the class, huh?” Kuroo smirked to try and ease your mind but the action only made you feel more annoyed. 

“ Enough with this back and forth, are we almost done? You’ve been reading the last step for a while now, is it that hard or are you just stupid today?” You nudged Kuroo out of the way and bent your body over the table to read the last step, wanting nothing more than to get this class over with. 

Kuroo watched as you began to stir the concoction slowly, his eyes trained on the top of the cauldron to watch for any sign of steam. 

“ What color are the spirals supposed to be?” You asked as a dark, pink-colored steam started to slowly rise from the mixture,” did he say pink was right or purple? Maybe red I don’t even remember.” 

Kuroo carefully leaned closer beside you to get a better look at the steam,”Looks right to me. You smell anything?” 

“ The only thing I can smell is that god awful aftershave of yours so back up.” 

You leaned your forearms on the table and took in a deep breath of the potion. Almost instantly, you felt a comforting warmth spread throughout your body that started in your chest and moved all the way down to your head and toes. You felt your body completely relax and it felt almost similar to the feeling of submerging yourself into a hot bath after a long day. 

It would make absolutely no sense to describe the scents as something so oddly familiar and distinct while not being obvious at all yet that was where your headspace was as you tried to identify the scents. 

Almost immediately, once you pinpointed one scent, the rest came flooding in one after another,” I smell something like cinder-a burning logfire...and....I know what this is it’s kinda like- oh, broomstick polish!” 

You took into another deep breath to try and identify the last scent but you couldn’t put a name to the scent which only made you more frustrated. 

“ Kuroo, can you help me? I can’t figure out the last scent,” You sighed as Kuroo closed his eyes to take a turn, even though he could already pinpoint a few scents from his spot,” do you smell the logfire too?” 

Kuroo only smiled to himself as he felt the warmth spread across his body before shaking his head,” That’s not how it works. Our scents would be different for example, I smell…freshly clean linen, old parchment paper, and… butterbeer froth.”

Once the words left Kuroo’s mouth, he opened his eyes and turned to you to read your reaction. He looked for something, anything behind those eyes of yours to watch it all click in your head but as usual, you were completely oblivious to the huge hint he had given you. 

“ Lucky you, I wish I could smell what you can- this is harder than I thought,” You pouted as you noticed some of your other classmates were getting distracted by you and Kuroo’s Amortentia,” maybe we did this wrong.”

“ We did it right, don’t worry,” Kuroo cleared his throat as he gave you a nudge with his shoulder which only made you nudge him back even harder,” maybe you should try again, think really hard. Try to see where you recognize the scent instead of what it is.” 

You closed your eyes and just like before, the same warm sensation flooded your body but this time, you could feel yourself leaning closer and closer to the cauldron, almost as if the potion was pulling you in deeper. 

“ Burning logfire, broomstick polish and…” You took in another deep breath but you were only meet with more frustration,” for the last time, can you give me some space, Kuroo? I swear all I can smell is your-.” 

You opened your eyes and practically pulled yourself away from the table once an unsettling realization had started to develop quickly in your mind. You knew exactly what the scent was but there was that lingering sensation in your mind that still tried to convince itself that for once, maybe you were wrong. 

Kuroo let out a breathy laugh as the back of your neck and ears began to grow hot,” Something the matter-”

Without thinking, you grabbed Kuroo’s collar and pulled him down to your eye level. Kuroo’s face started to grow red as you brushed your nose against the side of his neck to get a better smell. You had to be going crazy, there was no way- it all had to be a trick. 

“ Are you sure we did this right? You’re absolutely positive?” You asked softly as you let go of his collar. 

Kuroo smoothed out his collar and nodded as he looked back at the cauldron,”I’m absolutely positive- why are you freaking out?” 

Because I smell your stupid vanilla aftershave. 

“ I’m not freaking out,” You lied through your teeth as you turned your attention to Slughorn as he dismissed the class for the day,” You know what, I’m actually not feeling well- Can you clean up for me? I’m feeling a little lightheaded.”

“Y/N-”

“ I’ll see you around,” You gathered your things quickly but as you reached for your potions book, Kuroo snatched it off the table and held it behind his back,”enough Kuroo, give it back.” 

“ Clean linen, parchment, and butterbeer froth,” Kuroo listed as you tried to grab your book from behind his back but Kuroo was quick to hold it above his head,”did you hear me?” 

You looked up at how high he was holding your textbook and as embarrassing as it was, you decided to hold on to the little dignity you had left and not jump up and down for it. 

“ Yes I heard you but I don’t care.” 

“ You do care and you’re not listening to me. I smelled clean linen, parchment paper, and butterbeer froth so now it’s your turn, what did you smell?” Kuroo asked, this time a bit louder. It was obvious in the way he was enunciating his words that he was trying to lead you down a certain conversation but you were slow to pick up on it. 

You didn’t want to tell him, all you wanted to do was go back to bed and pretend as though this day had never happened. The idea that all this time you actually had real feelings for Kuroo only made you feel flustered. 

It wasn’t that you were ashamed of liking someone like him but for years, you had convinced him and seemingly everyone else that you would never have feelings for Kuroo. In reality, you couldn’t have been more wrong. 

“ Do we have to do this right now?” You asked softly as you nodded over to Slughorn who was dusting the corners of his desk but it was obvious he was eavesdropping on the conversation. 

Without missing a beat, Kuroo nodded and lowered your textbook back down to hand it to you.

“ You’re right, we should discuss this someplace quiet and private, how does dinner sound?”

You shook your head at the boy as you tried to grab your textbook from him but you couldn’t pry it off his strong grip,“ Quit flirting with me, now isn’t the time.” 

Kuroo couldn’t take it anymore; the years of endlessly flirting and being ignored was taking a toll on his pride and he couldn’t stand it. He knew you were prideful but this was on a whole different level.

“ Now is the perfect time since now I know you like me after all.”

“ How- I do not-”

“ You’re a terrible liar Y/N, the aftershave was a dead giveaway and I don’t know whether or not I’m more hurt by the fact that you’re too embarrassed to admit you like me or that you think my aftershave is god awful,” Kuroo said as he loosened his grip on the book so you could take it from his hands,” aren’t you tired of pretending you don’t have feelings for me?” 

You carefully took back your textbook as if it was a fragile vase and held it close to your chest as if you were shielding your heart. 

“ For the record, I don’t think it’s god awful, I just think you put on way too much,” You mumbled as Kuroo stood up straighter,” and I’m not tired of pretending, maybe I don’t like you or maybe I do have feelings for you.”

“ But maybe you like me more than you dislike me, am I right?”

You opened your mouth but quickly closed it after thinking his words over for a moment,“Emphasis on maybe...but don’t let it get to your head. You get one date so don’t ruin it.” 

Even though it wasn’t the confession Kuroo wanted, it was the only confirmation he needed to hear from you to let him know that the feelings were mutual. 

Kuroo couldn’t help but wear a huge goofy smile on his face as he collected his things and followed your lead as you both started to walk out the classroom. You and Kuroo politely nodded and said goodbye to Slughorn, who was pretending to read the textbooks along the shelves. 

Once you two left the classroom, Kuroo’s hand slide down beside yours and started to play with your fingers carefully. Your hand recoiled from the feeling but once you made sure the hallway was clear of any onlookers, you let your hand slide back down and let his fingers intertwine with yours. 

“ You know, I knew you really liked me, I called it since day one-” 

“ Okay, that’s enough Kuroo.” 

“ You said and I quote,’As if I would be under the accompaniment of a clumsy Ravenclaw like yourself’ and look at you now, holding hands with one!”

You shook your head at him and wondered to yourself if this is how things would be now yet you still couldn’t bring yourself to hide the small smile on your face,”You’re the worst.” 

Kuroo squeezed your hand in his and shared the same lovey-dovey grin on his face,” and you love it.” 

taglist: @goopyartiste​, @sugas-sweetheart​, @kirislut​, @estridries​, @hannahalanib1​, @art0saurus​, @shoutamajiki​, @yee-harr​, @animatedarchives​

[iwantutobehapppier]

Face The Facts

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes X Reader (Platonic)

Summary: You could not foresee this thing happening to you.

Word Count: 2,024

Warnings: Angst, a lot of Angst so munch angst, alluded to sex, Depression def, language maybe?

A/N: This is emotionally charged 100%. I am sad (still FAB!) and listened to Paint It Black too much today. So here is my ANGST. I do miss you guys, and I miss writing smut for you, hoping to do so for you again soon.

Fingers drummed along the steel table reflecting the sun outside the coffee shop Sam had dragged you and Bucky to on this stupid bright and sunny afternoon. You could hear Sam talking but the words were muffled.

Your eyes focused on the line of the funeral procession making its way down the busy New York street. The black cars remind you of Tony, the burning in your stomach starting up. Before you can stop you think of him.

He’s gone, not like Tony but he might as well be. He’s dead to you. Died to be with someone other than you. It is a crushing weight to not be worthy. To not be wanted.

You hear the base in Bucky’s voice at your name. You blink a few times and turn to face them. Your boys. There used to be three, you grimace and Bucky mirrors. 

“Yeah?” The best you can get out. Sam’s warm hand covers yours stilling the drumming fingers. 

“You haven’t drunk any of your coffee,” Sam’s words come through but you feel yourself fade. The attention was never there anymore not since he- “I even had the cute barista make it special for you.” 

Your brows furrow. “Special? Did they roofie me?” Bucky chuckles into his cup. 

“No!” Sam’s indignant tone pulls the smallest tilt of lips. “AH, she smiles!” And it leaves. 

Bucky frowns at Sam swatting his hand away from yours to take its previous residence over yours. They fought like this often since Steve left, over your attention. If you should smile if you should wallow. This coffee outing is an agreed attempt between both to get you in some sunlight. 

It had been a month but to you, it felt like yesterday, it felt like everything fell apart just when you thought it was coming together. Maybe a little cracked but still together.

What could Steve be doing that was so much better than this? Was she really worth it? You knew the answer to that though, his actions gave a resounding yes. The sound of girly giggles pulled you from your thoughts. 

A group of chipper women on the crosswalk between the stalled procession. Their laughs carry over the sounds of exhaust, conversations at other tables, and your daunting thoughts. How you wanted to steal their joy, not for yourself, oh no. Just no joy. You knew how illogical it sounded, you knew if you said anything about it to Bucky or Sam they’d pull you into a group.

You didn’t want therapy, you wanted this pain, this was familiar. After all, most of life you spent unwanted, discarded, an afterthought, or at the very most a stand-in. Your hands ball up into fists. Bucky’s hand still over yours he catches the subject of your sight. 

“They got nothin’ on you, doll.” You catch that, looking his way the intensity of his eyes overwhelming, you look at your coffee pulling the lid off.

The Latte has a star with circles around it in foam, the circles turning squiggly lines as time has gone by since it was made. You choke on your breath, a heaviness growing in your chest. You’d never escape him.

Standing up you leave the two to enjoy their coffee without all your emotional outbursts. Shoving hands in your pockets you take a deep breath in holding the tears back. In the distance, you can hear Bucky and Sam arguing over the “special” coffee.

There’s nothing left but time now, never-ending time. Time he didn’t belong to, time you never thought you’d get. 

You pushed the Pym particles into the watch, ignoring all your surroundings. Narrowed focus as you stomped your way through the trees beyond the compound construction site. The protective helmet quickly slides over your head. You place one foot on the pad before you can lift your other foot up and you're being jerked back by your elbow.

Crashing backward into a solid wall of flesh you turn around knowing exactly who it is. Your eyes pinch staring up at the former Winter Soldier. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Your growl between clenched teeth.

Buck grabs both your elbows, his eyes tracing along your face searching for answers. “The better question is what are you doing?”

“He can’t just leave like that.” You try to pull from his hold but it’s futile, you know this but you won’t stop. You can’t stop until you get to him. Until you see what life he made that was so much better without you. 

“Yes, he can,” Bucky’s firm tone and shake did nothing to calm your pain. The pain that had been sitting in the pit of your stomach for a while now. Festering and growing. Leaving everything else grey. 

“He can’t leave me like this.” He frowns at the desperation in your voice. If anyone understood your pain it would be him but even he knew he had to let go of Steve. Steve deserved his time to rest, his time to put down the mantle of Captain America. 

“But he did.” You freeze facing the ground, the pressure of tears collecting. That’s right he did, he left you here, to pick up the pieces of lives he wrecked. He left you to fix this all without him by your side for support. He left you. He. Left. You.

But you wouldn’t let that be the final word. Placing our hands on Bucky’s chest his gaze softens at your touch, hoping you were coming back to him. Only to feel you push him with air manipulation sending him sailing into a tree. 

He clamors to his feet as fast as possible, running towards you as you step onto the pad. “No!”

Bucky yelled your name out as your body dematerialized on the pad. The rush of the time tunnels dizzying in your emotional state. You fall to one knee when you land in 1951. You weren’t sure what time Steve stepped in but you knew from history where Peggy Carter lived in the United States as she ran SHIELD. 

You’d toured the house once when you were a naive SHIELD cadet. So sure that doing the right thing meant everything would get you what you wanted as well. Naive that the paths would never diverge.

Standing up you tap the watch, the nanotech causing your normal attire to materialize. With purposeful strides, you walk up the door and before you can knock Steve is opening the door with a stern look on his face that flatters at the sight of you.

Your name falls from his lips in a whisper, those lips that have worshipped every inch of your body. You can feel the adrenaline course through, without a second thought you punch him in the face.

“Son of a-” Steve stops while holding his nose, the pain radiating across his face then centralizing in his nasal passage. He was fairly certain the cartilage was snapped.

“You don’t get to leave without a real goodbye.” You holler, tears rolling from your eyes. “You don’t get to just leave me!” You shove him through the threshold. He stumbles at the act. Feet tripping over each other. You shove once more and his foot gets caught on the rug behind him coupled with his already compromised balance it takes him to the ground. 

You smile in sick satisfaction seeing him fall so easily. Taking steps over his body you stand above his chest. Looking him straight into his eyes you try your hardest to remain mad, hurt, and rejected. 

Yet, he looks at you with those beautiful blues, the specks of green so vibrant with the shock written all over his face. The words were written all over his face, blood pooling on his upper lip from your punch. That pathetic apologetic look you’d seen so many times. Like a stupid hurt puppy.

“Bet you thought you could just leave and we’d gladly pick up the pieces you left?” You place a foot on the center of his chest as he moves to get back up, pushing him down. You know you don’t have the physical strength he does but he still lays back down. That only infuriated you once more.

“Steven Grant Rogers, the man out of time.” Steve’s eyes narrow at you. “Still lost in time.” You taunt. You bend a knee, looming over him.

“I hope you’re happy.” Steve goes to speak but you slap the time watch, a sense of satisfaction fills you watching his lips turn down, that hurt expression the last thing you want from him. He should hurt too. His lips move to say something but you’re rushing through the time tunnels once more before he can get a word out.

Bucky paced back and forth in front of the pad, wringing his hands together. Steve could leave, he could and did accept Steve leaving. Made easier only by seeing Steve older, wiser, and at peace with his life. He couldn’t recall a time growing up Steve was ever at peace, so to see him like that a soothing balm for the pain of losing his pal. But you, you wouldn’t even look at Steve, you left. 

In the back of Bucky’s mind, he knew you’d take off too. He wasn’t entirely convinced he could handle that. The next thing he knows is an alert of someone on the Compound and a travel watch missing from FRIDAY. 

The last time he drove so recklessly was as the Winter Soldier, but his gut told him it was you. You were going to do something stupid. He just knew it since the last time he saw you. That faraway look, your inability to focus even on Sam’s idiotic jokes. He knew you’d do something stupid. 

Before Bucky could pull out his phone to call Sam the pad making noises. His eyebrows rose to watch you regenerate just where you had left.

You’re both silent as your helmet falls away. Do you tell him what you did? Do you tell him he looked good? He looked rested. That you punched him? Maybe not the last part.

“Where did you go?” Bucky knew the answer but he had to hear it. He was thankful you came back though, you didn’t leave him and the relief that swept through him for that was all-encompassing. 

“You know.” Looking up at the sky, embarrassment settled in looking at your previous actions but you were justified. He left, he had to know how he hurt you  He left people here to just be in pain to hurt. But were you the only one hurting?

“Why aren’t you hurting?” Your voice barely above a whisper. Taking a step down the platform stairs. You falter on the next step, Bucky’s there in an instant. Holding you to his chest pulling you down the last step. 

His chin sits on top of your head, he has to hold you. He needs to know you’re here, that you came back. That you stayed. 

“I am hurting, doll.” He turns his face into your hair, taking a deep breath in. You embrace him in return, his barrel of a chest making it impossible for you to wrap your arms completely around him. “I hurt every day.” 

“Then act like it!” you go to pull from him but he won’t let go. The metal and flesh keep you locked in. 

“What’s the point?” His voice muffled in your hair. “Life will go on regardless. We can only control how we react to it.” 

“I don’t want to keep hurting.” your voice breaks, the looming pressure in your chest blooming. It feels like you’ll burst this time. The tears falling from your eyes faster than before, certainly soaking Bucky’s shirt. Your body shakes in his hold. 

“I know, I know.”  He turns his head, his cheek pushing against the top of your head, gently rocking you back and forth. He wishes he could take it away, your hurt, and put it on top of his own. But this was yours, and he was going to see you through it. Because you stayed.

[set-phasers-to-whump]

trapped

prompt: trapped (alt no.10)

whumpee: nick burkhardt

fandom: grimm

hi i am not going to sugarcoat it this fic is really bad. i had a longer day than expected and suddenly all my motivation to write was gone. very poor luck but such is life. anyways this is a pre-nick/hank fic ft the classic trapped in an elevator trope (which i cannot believe i haven’t written before - will def be writing it again but better at some later point lmao)

They chase their suspect through the hallways of the under-construction apartment building, slipping through piles of material and sidestepping heavy equipment. The suspect bangs through the door into the stairwell, and Hank hurries to follow him.

“We can cut him off with the elevator,” Nick suggests, pointing to the shiny metal doors directly next to the stairwell. “He has to be leaving the building, there’s nowhere else for him to go.”

Without further ado, they both rush into the elevator. Nick presses the button for the ground floor, and he and Hank both lean up against the walls, catching their breath after the intense chase. 

After a second or two, the elevator jolts, shudders, and then stops moving.

“Are we…?”

“Stuck.”

They both sigh and then try to pry open the doors. They’re caught between floors and even with their combined strength they can’t wedge the doors open far enough to even try to escape. 

“I’ll call for backup,” Hank says, already dialing. 

“Sounds good.”

Five minutes later, help has been dispatched to arrive in approximately twenty minutes - one team to try and chase down the suspect, another to free the two of them from the elevator.

“We might as well settle in to wait,” Hank figures, sliding down against the wall in one corner of the car. Nick follows suit in the opposite corner, and for a couple minutes they sit in silence, both of them staring at the floor as though it’s the most interesting thing they’ve ever seen.

“…Hank?” Nick says, breaking the silence.

“Yeah?”

“I think I’m bleeding.”

“What?” He’s on his feet in an instant, crossing the elevator car and crouching beside his partner. “Where?”

Nick adjusts his jacket and lifts the torn hem of his shirt to reveal a large bloody gash across his stomach. 

“What happened?” Hank asks, already in the process of taking off his coat and balling it up to use to apply pressure. 

“I don’t…I’m not sure. There was some scaffolding at one point, maybe? Or maybe I fell on something, I don’t know.”

“Okay, that’s okay,” Hank says, trying for a calming tone. They had been moving quickly, and he well knows how adrenaline can mask pain, can make it hard to remember things. It happens quite frequently in their line of work. “How are you feeling?”

Nick shrugs lopsidedly. “I’m fine. The adrenaline’s starting to wear off, though. I can actually feel it now. It’s not bad at all.” Hank can tell he’s trying to sound put together and unbothered, but he knows Nick well enough to know that he’s hurting and afraid underneath all that. Perfectly understandable, not that Nick would agree. 

Hank checks his watch. “Help is still fifteen minutes out. You good til then?”

“Yeah.”

For a minute or two they sit in silence, Hank keeping pressure on the wound and Nick very obviously trying to pretend like everything is fine. 

“You know you don’t have to be fine about...this,” Hank says, when the silence has become uncomfortable and tense. “It’s just us here.”

“What?” 

“I just mean, you’re allowed to be hurting around me. I’m not gonna start thinking of you any differently. You’re the strongest person I know, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ever feel anything.”

Hank’s talking about more than just this (all things considered) fairly mild injury, he knows. He’s seen Nick get broken and hurt, time and time again, but his partner never seems to let himself actually feel those pains - at least, not in front of anyone else. It drives Hank crazy, the thought of Nick forcing himself to be constantly fine, putting up walls around himself so nobody else will see his pain. 

“Look, I know you’re hurting and you know you’re hurting and there’s no point in pretending otherwise. You might as well just - just admit it, okay?”

For a long moment, Nick simply looks at him, his eyes just slightly too bright beneath the harsh overhead lights. 

“It hurts,” he mutters after a few seconds, quiet and quick. “But it’s really not - look, Hank, we both know I’ve had a lot worse.”

“That’s not the point!” Hank snaps, with more anger behind his words than he’d intended. “I know you’ve had worse - and believe me, that’s not comforting at all - but it’s not like you’ve ever told me how much pain you were in, it’s not like you ever asked me to - to, I don’t know, help you or, or comfort you, or anything! You act like all the pain doesn’t bother you, but I know it does. So just - just let me help you for once, okay?”

There’s a moment after that where they both just sit there, looking at each other. Hank...hadn’t really meant to say that. He’d wanted to, sure, but he’d never actually planned on having the words leave his mouth. But they’re stuck in here and everything feels slightly to the left of real and he’d very much wanted to say all that, and now he has. 

“I didn’t - I mean, I wanted to say that, but I didn’t mean to,” Hank explains quickly. “Just...look, I really care about you, okay? That’s the most important thing here.”

After a long silence, Nick says, “I’m sorry.”

“What? Why?”

“I know I...I hide things from you. A lot of things. I’m not great with feelings - any feelings - and I don’t like being vulnerable so I never...I never tell you this stuff. But I really care about you, too, and I didn’t mean to -”

Hank cuts him off. “It’s okay, Nick. I get it. And I don’t want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but I want you to know that you don’t need to suffer alone.”

They’re already pressed close together, but Nick closes the distance between them even more, reaching out and wrapping his arms around Hank despite the bleeding wound in his torso. Hank manages to keep pressure on it with one hand while returning the embrace with the other. 

“Thanks,” Nick whispers into Hank’s shoulder. He sniffs and then shifts his position like he’s trying to mask the sound. The movement must put extra strain on his injury, though, because he makes a quiet noise of pain. Despite this, he doesn’t try to pull away - on the contrary, he presses himself closer still, and despite the pain Hank knows he’s in, he feels Nick’s body relax slightly in his embrace. 

“Of course,” Hank returns. “I’m always gonna be here for you, got that?”

He feels Nick smile slightly against his shoulder. “I know.”

thanks for reading! i know this wasn’t very good and i’m guessing probably pretty ooc but this was written very like, stream of conscious hmm-maybe-i-need-me-something-like-this type feeling, you know? anyways i love you and hope you’re having a good night/day!