#deepest empathy in your direction

[swannieluv]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖꩜ Wasted youth.

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Platonic!Ajax x GN!Reader

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐜: 11k

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆!!: violence, blood, death.

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐀/𝐍: IT'S FINALLY HERE! I hope everyone can enjoy this <3

✦⸼࣪⸳ 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩. 𝐛𝐲 Tempo Perdido - Legião Urbana

✦⸼࣪⸳ likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated!! <3

Snezhnaya is not exactly a friendly nation. The cold that seems to run from the veins to the depths of people's innermost being brings with it a certain hostility towards those who don't know the heart of the land. But within Ajax's distorted childhood perception, Snezhnaya was like a gentle mother, protecting its children under icy embrace.

But then, why did such a loving land allow its own child to fall into the deepest depths of the Abyss? Like drowning in freezing water, a child who survived Teyvat's darkest and loneliest place would certainly not come out of it the same as he went in.

"Ajax" was still Ajax, wasn't he? The same child, named after a hero from ancient tales, full of compassion and empathy, now carried with him a gaze that was deader than the fish he caught on ice.

Joining the Fatui wasn't in his plans for the future; being one of them wasn't so bad, although he wasn't expecting much for the future. But what he didn't like was being the youngest in the unit, it was a complete humiliation.

Not that the seniors were a challenge for him, but being constantly underestimated was... infuriating, to say the least. While his strength was admirable — thanks to Skirk, he would thank her someday — Ajax felt constantly bored, with no meaningful challenge ahead of him.

"Redhead!" The call was accompanied by a snowball, which hit him square in the face; his moment of peace was interrupted, though it didn't really matter.

Ajax could only sigh before letting out a soundless laugh, knowing exactly who had hit him: [Name], a recruit not much older than him, maybe a year or so. Being under the same division, it wasn't unusual to bump into them. "Here it comes..."

They weren't exactly friends, more like acquaintances. However, they also kept in touch enough to be just "acquaintances". Never friends, perhaps not at all.

As if he had some kind of radar, [Name] always appeared whenever Ajax had his rare moment of philosophical thought of questionable quality. Usually to disrupt the whole process.

" Damn, looks like you really found me," he laughed, turning to look at them.

"That's the third time I've had to look for you this week," they complained, carefully preparing another snowball to throw at him. "I always get scolded because of you, you know that?"

They weren't exactly wrong. Whenever Ajax wandered off the map, it was [Name] who had to look for him in the frozen woods. Not that they really bothered to do it, but it was tiring going around in circles until they found him.

"Look at it as part of your job."

"Babysitting...?"

"No, looking after your companions."

"... How idiotic."

"How heroic. It's very noble to look after your friends, you know?" Ajax corrected. His eyes returned to scanning the surrounding trees in a relaxed manner.

"Not when said 'friends' get into trouble all the time," they retorted.

"I always come back, it's not like you need to hunt me down like I'm some criminal on the loose." He shook his head briskly, brushing the snow off the top of his hair. However, he was greeted with another sharp shot right to the scalp.

"Look... So, all due respect, but you're not far off being one, you know?" they shyly replied. Not in a rude way, but still a little offensive to whoever it was directed at.

He didn't know whether to laugh or feel offended by what they said. Maybe both? Well, they weren't exactly wrong... Ajax was already considered a marginal project, or at least it seemed that way.

"Why did you do that?"

"What? You have to specify or I won't know,” his smile fell, replaced by a neutral expression. He tried to feign ignorance, but it didn't work very well.

"Don't be cynical. You beat up an older soldier. Aren't you a little ashamed?”

Which soldier were they talking about? It didn't matter to him anyway, as he'd lost count of how many he'd challenged and won — it wasn't a difficult task, they were never a match for him.

All too often they were weak, and [Name] was the worst of them all. That's why Ajax didn't even bother trying when inviting them to a duel, because the result was obvious from the start. The last time they sparred, it was be boring, easy and not worth the effort.

"Should I be? If a soldier almost two meters tall can't beat up a 14—year—old, then that means he's a weakling, doesn't it?" Ajax crossed his arms. "Besides, he called me names before, so we're even."

"Seriously..." they sighed, "Seriously, try not to make such a fuss. The Fifth can get you out of most trouble, only until you do something, let's say, really catastrophic."

"Something catastrophic like...?" he asked curiously, his gaze fixed on them.

"Like... burning down the Zapolyarny palace?"

His jaw dropped in shock, and a touch of offense showed on his cold—pink face. That was the most absurd thing he had heard in recent times. "What?! Why do you think I would do something like that?"

"Because it's you we're talking about, redhead."

"What's with the nickname?"

"I think it's funny, don't you?"

"You know... whatever." Ajax put his hands on his waist, shaking his head slightly. "I'll take that as an excuse to put a nickname on you too."

"So you're going to stop with the ' comrade' thing and come up with something even worse? Really?"

"Maybe so... maybe not. Who knows?"

The boy gave a relaxed smile, patting them on the shoulder before moving on. His heavy footsteps in the snow served as a background noise to the uneasy silence around them.

"I found it."

"Hm? Found what?" Ajax raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

[Name] pulled out a red scarf, so familiar to Ajax, from inside their backpack, carefully tying it around his neck. The fabric was warm, or perhaps it was the feeling of zeal, or also the nostalgia it brought.

Ajax hadn't realized he had left it behind. And when he realized it, the difference between the cold air and the protection of the scarf was remarkable — was he so distracted that he didn't notice?

The boy's gloved hands touched the soft fabric of the scarf, bringing it closer to his face and snuggling into the warmth. "Where did you find it, comrade?"

" Somewhere, it doesn't matter." They put their hands in the pockets, looking around at the landscape around them. "Aren't you afraid of getting lost in the forest?"

Ajax let out a genuine laugh when he heard their question, as if it were something ridiculous. "Getting lost? I know my way around pretty well."

[Name] narrowed their eyes, firmly disbelieving Ajax's words. For them, the scenery remained the same, no matter how far they went — well, they didn't go very far at all.

"What? It's all the same, like... just trees and snow everywhere."

Ajax held back a laugh, as if what they'd said was completely dumb. "You're not from Snezhnaya, right?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Were you trying to hide it at all?" He couldn't help but laugh at the redness that appeared on [Name]'s face.

They were almost the scarlet color of their vision, which they proudly carried on a chain attached to their jacket. Pyro and Hydro, it was yet another thing that made them so opposite from each other.

"You know what, never mind! Just follow me." They extended a hand towards him, an almost forced offer.

Ajax hesitated, staring at the hand in front of him for a few long seconds before accepting it. He held it with some hesitation, not wanting to apply more force than he should have. He didn't mean to hurt, but he also had moments when he couldn't control his own strength.

They walked together through the snow, their steps in perfect sync. He noticed these small details as he looked down at the ground, thinking over and over again about an endless cycle. Sometimes, he just let that little silence take over his head, alone without direction, lost in the image of his own breath coming in the form of fog.

[Name] mumbled something, Ajax nodded, but forgot all about it soon after. They knew he wasn't paying attention, but didn't care, increasing the strength with which they held his hand.

"You don't like it here? Is that why you keep running away?"

"It's not running away if you come back.”

[Name] genuinely felt like punching Ajax in the face every time he opened his mouth and let out some stupid reason like this, but they would obviously leave it to imagination. The willingness wasn't lacking, but the courage was.

Perhaps if they were stronger, braver, they could say what they really wanted. But they weren't, and that kept them behind a fine line between the two, where Ajax always seemed to be in the front.

Everything in Snezhnaya, absolutely everything, filled them with an internal revolt. The cold that seemed to freeze them inside, the infinitely same path that seemed to lead nowhere, not being taken seriously — but for now, they would do anything to please those on top, especially since they were the ones in control of everything anyway.

"Don't ignore my question, go on. I know you heard me."

As soon as they arrived at the camp, they were greeted by an angry soldier with a large purple eye. That was the man Ajax had hit, and clearly he didn't look happy.

"Look, the bastard's really back," he said sarcastically, snapping his fingers. "Are you going to come at me for no reason like a savage again, like you did earlier?"

"Liar," they retorted, shaking their heads in denial and pointing a finger at the soldier, "you previously morally attacked Ajax, an exemplary boy..."

Ajax nodded, crossing his arms. Exemplary was by far what he was, but he had to agree with those who defended him. What he didn't expect was that they would retract their words soon after.

"...sort of."

"A... gentle boy?" They gave him a sideways glance, as if for confirmation; all he got back was a slight shake of the head.

"sort of..."

There was a lack of good adjectives to describe what he was — what he had become.

It would be less work if they just called him strong, but they didn't. They didn't want to reduce him to something. They didn't seem to want to reduce him to something the soldier in front of them already knew. Or rather, they didn't want to reduce Ajax to a simple strong boy.

They cleared their throats with a smile, grabbing Ajax by the collar, "Give us a second!"

Honestly, he was expecting a beating, not a strategy meeting behind a bush — not that he was going to complain, but at least he was hoping for a fight or something. His clenched fists contained the real desire to punch that soldier right in the face, but unfortunately he couldn't do that.

"'Sort of', really?" Ajax mimicked with a playful tone.

They rolled their eyes, fidgeting. "One of two ways: either I lie by calling you dumb, or I lie by calling you stupid!"

His jaw dropped for a moment. Was Ajax that stupid in their eyes? Not that he was the most self—controlled or straightforward person, but that dumb was an insult. "Oh, but I'm not dumb!"

"Perfect! Then you're stupid!"

The two of them stared at each other for what seemed like hours. Just as they didn't understand him, Ajax didn't understand them one bit.

"Seriously, I'm trying to help you... but then you have to help me help you."

"I think you've got it wrong. I appreciate the attempt, not to be rude... but I don't think I asked you to help me in the first place." He tried to smooth it over somehow, with that annoying little smile of his.

They felt their eyes ticking just hearing him, but soon pulled themselves together and returned the smile with a sarcastic tone intertwined with the words, "Really?”

"Mhm!" Ajax smiled. "Then I'm going for it, you said!"

Ajax ran off, abandoning them behind the bush to do whatever he wanted. Training, fighting, getting into another fight... it was all very unpredictable when it came to someone as peculiar as Ajax.

[Name] stood there, letting out a sigh as he thought about how weird this boy was. But there was no denying that Ajax was truly exceptional at getting out of trouble, and that made them more and more curious about him.

Sometimes, before going to sleep, Ajax would close his eyes and think about the day he'd had. He would ponder how small details were so easily erased — he couldn't remember who accompanied him on the march, or the name of the guy he had hit. But it was okay, it was fine not to remember.

The important thing was to keep going, without wasting time, and to move on. Ajax didn't need anything else, or anyone else, just himself to become very strong.

"Here you go, redhead." He was called by [Name], who threw a pillow right in his face.

" Man, you really like throwing things at me, don't you?" complained, pulling the pillow away from his face, "Have I become a punching bag now?"

"You forgot your pillow. If you wake up with a stiff neck, you'll be complaining in my ear all day tomorrow."

"I don't complain—"

"You think you don't, but you nag like an old man!"

Ajax threw himself backwards, lying on the mattress hugging the pillow close to his face. He muttered irritably to himself something almost inaudible, something that [Name] could only wish weren't curses in their direction.

"Look, I don't know what kind of problem you have," Ajax began, rolling his eyes in frustration, but soon changed his tone to something more playful, "if you want to settle something with me, come fight. Unless you're too much of a chicken not to fight someone younger and stronger than you."

"Whatever" [name] grumbled as they adjusted the flame of the lamp with their vision, "I already know I have zero percent chance against someone like... you."

"Why, comrade? It's not like I'm going to kill anyone in sight or anything like that." He smiled, giving a slight chuckle.

"Yes, of course, and I'm a slime" [name] sarcastically answered.

"Honestly, I don't mean to offend you or anything..." Ajax sat up, running a light hand through his hair to remove it from his face. "But I really wonder how someone so coward got into Fatui. I mean, you're afraid to even hold your own bow."

[Name] listened attentively to his words, but kept their gaze fixed on the lamp in her hands. It was the only source of warmth between them at the moment, and they couldn't let it go out so soon.

"The reason I'm in Fatui..." Their eyes did not leave the flame in hand, carefully observing the orange color that reflected on everything around him. [Name] avoided this question whenever it was asked, because they knew they weren't strong, and didn't force themselves to be, but the truth was too shameful.

"I believe I am indebted to Her Royal Highness the Tsaritsa. I must render my services for her generosity, and also... for this little thing here, which has guaranteed me everything I have now."

They picked it up and swung it around, the vibrant red gemstone seeming to emanate heat in a veritable mirage. Even though the temperature was almost below zero, it still retained its tiny hints of flame.

"Well, I guess that's it. I was born like anyone else, subject to mistakes and defects. But I don't think I'm worthless, after all..." they paused for a single second, letting out a sigh before continuing, "even doormats have their uses."

Ajax's face softened as he listened to them. He was speechless, sincerely mute without an answer to their words. No silly comment came to mind, just nothing. He waited a while in silence before finally asking: "Wow, that was something..."

"I think we've talked enough about me, what about you?" They asked with a little smile, and Ajax relaxed a little.

"About me? Hm... I think I have several stories! Like today when I punched that guy!" he cheered, throwing a fake punch in the air to represent his fight.

[Name] let out a simple laugh, amused by his actions. They thought the boy was a piece of work, silly but very funny; also very intriguing in every respect. At fourteen, joining the Fatui and doing well was something out of this world from everyone else's perspective.

"No, silly! I don't care about that sort of thing." They shook their heads in denial.

Ajax blinked twice, confusion clear on his face. "What...? So what do you want to know, anyway?"

They patted his head lightly, making Ajax turn as red as a tomato. It was unexpected, and he didn't know how to react to it, he wasn't prepared, but it wasn't that bad either. For the first time in a long time, Ajax allowed himself to receive a bit of care.

"Tell me, redhead," they called him by that silly nickname again, getting a funny look from him, "do you miss home at all?"

"Homesick? Hm... I don't know, I don't think so."

"Lying to yourself is always the worst kind of lie, so don't do this."

"If I really miss home..."

Home. Did Ajax really miss home? It was very hard for them to guess what was going through his head when all he did was fight and cause trouble. Although he had his ridiculous faults, there was still a gentle child inside, deep down.

Ajax was about to answer when it finally hit. It was the kind of question that nobody really asked in the Fatui. Everyone usually acted in accordance with their situation, there was no room in the Camp for whining.

The only tears were those that were left on the pillow, turned upside down as soon as the first rays of sun appeared in the morning. Hidden, sealed away from the gaze of others, while everything continued in the shadows.

He remembered perfectly the day he left home, beginning his career as a soldier.

Ajax checked his appearance one last time in the mirror. He didn't mind the state he was in, with a few scars on his hands and small scratches on his face from the mess that had occurred before he was enlisted — but he couldn't look relaxed either, Ajax needed to look presentable for some reason.

He could hear some whispering, not so quiet, of children behind him. He could see their reflections, curious as ever, but pretended not to have noticed, not wanting to end their failed attempt at spying.

When the clock finally struck a certain time, he knew it was time to go. Ajax had been preparing since the day before, when he received the news. It hadn't been easy to accept, but Ajax had no voice after everything he had done.

It was easy to feel the blood on his hands, even though he had washed them over and over again. While his combat skills were fascinating, it was frightening to see how easy it was to seriously hurt someone.

But at the same time, he felt the adrenaline of fighting pulsing through his veins, bringing with it an insatiable desire for battle. He didn't have a strong enemy, he didn't have anyone who could challenge his skills in this little corner of the world he lived in. Being the strongest shouldn't be so boring, at least not for him.

When he stepped out of his room, the first thing he saw were his little siblings. Their faces were full of questions, asking for an answer as to where he was going, why he was leaving and other questions that Ajax wasn't allowed to answer, nor was he in the mood to answer them.

This was what he really dreaded, the farewell.

He hugged each sibling as if it was the last time seeing them, his eyes filled with anguish disguised as emotion and tears that weren't exactly shed. He felt a knot down his throat — how hard it was to try and keep a smile, with such a conflicted feeling in his chest.

Perhaps that was the hardest part, because the younger ones had no idea where their older brother would end up. They didn't know that he was going where no other child should go. The only excuse he could come up with was something about a fantastic toy factory, and they bought it.

He swallowed it all, keeping his typical charisma in a comforting smile. Blindly lying to himself that all that was to come was just a distraction where he could meet stronger people, bigger obstacles and climb them without hesitation.

He ran down the stairs as if it was the last time, and it would be, because long gone was the boy who once smiled here. Hearing the children's voices saying casual goodbyes, as if it were just another ordinary day and that he would be back soon. Touching the banister, sliding along and feeling the texture of the wood, brought a little sadness. It was full of scratches and loose splinters, just the way he would remember it.

Taking a deep breath, he let the smell of wax invade his lungs for one last time. Little did he know, but this would become another moment for nostalgia in just a few days.

He hesitated to leave that warm place, so precious and cozy that it was the only thing capable of bringing a tear to his eyes after leaving the abyss. Not all things in life work out the way we want them to, and he needed to learn that, if only in the harshest way possible.

"Discipline" was what it was supposed to be, a form of punishment for all the trouble he had made. Like a staircase, Ajax climbed step by step in his acts of violence until he reached the irreversible point of his insatiable hunger for battle

But life always takes its toll. And for Ajax, life decided to give, demand and take away almost instantly.

Saying goodbye to his mother, who wrapped a red wool scarf around his neck, Ajax could only keep smiling. If it hadn't been for the hesitation and worry in her eyes, distressed that her young son would end up in a place like the Fatui, everything would have been so much easier.

"My little warrior," she called him, a cheesy nickname that suited the wild boy perfectly. While it was ironic in the past, given that Ajax was a big scaredy—cat, today it was just dumb, "Don't cause too much trouble... please."

The last sentence came in the form of a very faint whisper, which went almost unnoticed by Ajax. A real plea, almost desperate because of the lack of credibility he had at that moment. She didn't believe in him, evident in the exacerbated concern she showed in her mannerisms.

And if to comfort her, then Ajax was willing to put on his best and most convincing cheerful mask. He had always been a boy who loved his family, and that was something that not even the claws of the Abyss could take away from him.

"Yes, Mom."

Ajax did his best not to sound the least bit false when lying to his mother — He was, he couldn't deny that — But at least Ajax did it convincingly until he could gently slip away from her gentle touch.

"I'll take care of myself. Brush my teeth, comb my hair..."

"And eat well," she added, brushing the dirt off his clothes, making him more presentable.

"...And eat well, leave it to me!"

The woman sighed, letting go of the boy. With her watery eyes turned to the side, she shook her head as if to pretend that everything was fine — an attempt to make it clear that everything was all right, that Ajax shouldn't worry. But in the end, it was to comfort herself.

"Go..." she murmured with a sad smile, shaking her face slightly to let the tears go where they shouldn't, "go with your father before you're late, and don't stir up trouble, see? Your poor mother's heart wouldn't be able to handle it."

"I'll do my best, stay super strong and—"

He was interrupted by a small smack on the head from his father; it wasn't painful, not in the slightest... but it hurt for some reason, somewhere deep inside. All he did was look up, shrug and smile as usual.

"Let's go." That was the call Ajax had been waiting for to.

This was a moment of farewell, but he remembered that it wasn't eternal. Someday, he would return home with his chest puffed out and a huge, proud smile on his face — well, that's what he hoped for.

And so, the troublemaker set foot outside his home to become what no one, not even he, expected him to be one day. Looking back at his past, his younger self, fearful and innocent, disappointed but admiring, came to mind.

An icy breeze was the first thing that greeted Ajax when he opened the door and encountered the standard whiteness of the outside scenery. It was sudden, as if to extract any remnants of warmth he felt. People would say it was a good omen coming from the Tsaritsa, a sign of good fortune on his new path.

And it's what Ajax would like to believe.

"Ajax?"

Their voice woke him from his memories, bringing him back to reality. And then suddenly, he was back in that tiny tent, the one he had never left.

"Sorry. I spaced out, didn't I?" He covered his eyes with his forearm, tiredness was starting to set in.

"Just a little bit." [Name] decided to lie down too, covering themselves with their own blanket. Their hands then went to the lamp, offering it to him, "Can you use your vision to put it out?"

"Can't we just... not put out the fire?" Ajax asked weakly.

[Name] blinked twice in surprise, then cracked a smile to tease him. "What's the matter, are you afraid—"

"No, I'm not afraid of the dark..." he cut them off in mid—sentence, turning around so that he wasn't facing them. With his face covered by the pillow, Ajax lowered his voice. "But leave the fire burning, just for now... please."

It was the first time [Name] had seen him so vulnerable, with his guard down. With such a sincere request, they were at a loss for words — even though they really wanted to understand.

"Right..." They hesitated slightly as they released the lamp. "Sweet dreams, Ajax."

Without replying, they sighed. [Name] then put their head on the pillow, looking at him with a certain empathy. But then again, it was none of their business; he would tell them when he felt comfortable.

That night would be a long one, with the two of them lying awake without exchanging a single word.

Sometimes [Name] questioned their own common sense, especially when they followed Ajax's foolish ideas. Normally, the two of them would get into trouble and be forced to do the daily tasks because of it.

But after days of insistence on his part, they had finally agreed to go ice fishing in the middle of the night because it was the only free time the both had. Did they know how to fish? No, and certainly not on ice, but there's a first time for everything.

"Hm... I don't see anyone," Ajax whispered as he looked through a gap in the tent, making sure no one was awake at this hour.

"Hang on, I can't put these on!" [Name] tried to put their boots on, but couldn't make a decent knot. They were already frustrated, tying them any way and untying them when they realized it didn't lead anywhere.

Ajax let out a chuckle, their desperation to put on simple boots was utterly comical, "Let me help you."

"I can do it myself!" [Name] stared at the tangled shoelace with a certain determination, trying to undo what they had tied.

"You said that last week, yet you couldn't do it and we lost the training—"

[Name]'s face heated up in embarrassment. What he said was true, the two of them had missed it, all because they didn't know how to put on the boots offered with the new uniform, and had to clean the weapons as punishment — not that Ajax cared, it seemed he had only focused on admiring the swords and guns rather than cleaning them.

"Shh! That's in the past!" they tried to shut him up.

Ajax shook his head slightly. He knelt down and stared at the blind knot they had tied, taking his hands to the shoelaces to straighten out the mess. "I'll teach you, check it out."

He carefully tied their shoes, making a firm loop. It was just like at home, when he helped his younger siblings put on their boots to play outside. When recalling this, an unconscious smile appeared on Ajax's lips, followed by a giggle.

"Are you laughing at me?" [name] asked, offended.

"No—" Ajax looked up, and then laughed, seeing the funny look they were making. "Yes, I am now!"

[Name] grabbed him by the cheek, hurrying him out of the tent with them. "Stop laughing, they'll wake up and it'll be our doom!"

"All right, all right!" Ajax exclaimed, removing their hand from his sore cheek. "You talk just like my mother when she scolds me..."

[Name] looked at him, smiling before teasing him. "No way, I mean, I pity your mother for having to put up with a son like you."

Ajax's frowned, he really did look offended by what they had said. "I have no idea what you're talking about, I've always been a very well—behaved child!"

"Oh, sure... if you say so, who am I to doubt it?" they agreed sarcastically. There wasn't a shred of confidence in his word.

There were endless minutes of walking and exchanging small insults. Under the moonlight, the two made their way calmly, getting further and further away from the camp. If they were lucky, no one would find out that they had run away.

They would be fishing in a frozen lake, a large mirror that reflected the light of an aurora. It was a breathtaking sight, as if they could touch the sky, and they took a cautious first step onto the it.

"Damn!" They slipped, having only the instinct to hold on to something.

"Whoa! Watch it there, comrade!" Ajax helped them regain their balance, holding them up by the arms. He took slow steps backwards so that [Name] wouldn't slip again.

[Name] smiled a little awkwardly, embarrassed. "Thanks but... This ice won't break with us on it, right?"

Ajax shook his head and firmly tapped his foot on the frozen surface, which remained intact. "It's pretty sturdy, see?"

"I see." [Name] turned their attention upwards and admired the greenish glow again. " Snezhnaya's night sky is a fascinating sight, isn't it? Even though I've seen it several times, I'm always amazed by its beauty..."

Ajax had already seen the real starry sky, the true and uncovered light of the celestial bodies. To refer to this gloomy canvas as a "fascinating sight" is an absurd statement, for it is only an empty imitation of what lies beneath the veil of the Abyss.

"You're really satisfied with anything, huh?" Ajax scoffed, with a hint of a smile on his face, "It's just floating lights, it gets boring after a while."

"Is there anything that doesn't get boring for you?" [Name] watched as Ajax started to cut the ice in a circular pattern, which appeared to be a not too difficult job for him. "Are you sure this works? I mean, it's just ice... I don't know if there's anything alive down there."

Ajax sat, eyes fixed on the hole in front of them. He hugged his knees and remained there, staring at the immensity and waiting for what would happen next. "Don't worry, we'll catch one in... a few minutes, I think."

"In about how many minutes, exactly?"

Ajax looked up thoughtfully. "A few."

"I swear to the archons, if you made us come here for nothing..." [Name] grumbled, watching the boy next to them. The way he insisted on his ideas impressed them, at the same time as it irritates; but seeing that serene face made them let out a little laugh, "Never mind, I'm the idiot one for following you."

[Name] sat down next to him, resting their face in one hand as Ajax and them waited patiently. Those moments of serenity were the complete opposite from the battles that took place everyday.

They had already seen several "comrades" fall, their lives taken while protecting the Fatui's interests. Interests that were unknown and hidden from the vast majority, concealed by individuals whose faces were unknown to many.

The Harbingers themselves were a kind of urban legends who, while everyone knew of their existence, were enigmatic and symbolic figures within the organization.

"What exactly are we fighting for?" [name] asked. There wasn't exactly a reason, because no one ever said the real purpose of the blood shed on the snowy battlefield.

Everyone's admiration and fear of the Harbingers was obvious. But just as they were feared, the kind of people whose presence is everywhere, there were more questions than answers as to their real motivation.

The closest they had seen was the Fifth, Pulcinella. [Name] didn't understand why they had been placed in his division, being a complete fool who couldn't hold a weapon without getting nervous. Even more so when, in the same division, there was Ajax.

A confused expression appeared on Ajax's face when he heard the question. Wasn't the answer obvious? At least, it was logical. "For Her Royal Highness, the Tsaritsa—"

"No, I know that. I'm talking about why we need to fight, the purpose of it all... We have a mission in a few days, and we don't even know what they want from us."

"I fight because I'm strong, isn't that enough?" Ajax seemed genuine in his response, with no hidden ambitions behind the battles he fought against his opponents. At the end of the day, it seemed to be all about the will to get stronger and better.

"No, it's not." [Name]'s gaze was serious, demanding an answer that would satisfy their curiosity. For them, Ajax was an extremely difficult puzzle to solve — a young boy who possessed the strength of a monster. But at the same time, had a heart as pure as gold. "Your name... was inspired by a hero, right? Do you want to be like them, the hero of the story?"

Ajax nodded, giving them a smirk. He remembered the old days, when he wasn't the least bit brave or powerful, just a fearful boy with a sword and a dream. "I think I'd rather be myself. It's much more fun when you do things your own way, don't you agree?"

"Well... it is, it really is." [Name]'s firm gaze softened. "Ajax, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

The boy froze in place. His mouth opened to speak, but the words he wanted to say didn't come out. He had no answer, even if he thought about it — Ajax simply didn't know.

"When I grow up..." he repeated to himself, looking for an answer, any answer. "I honestly don't know... I think I'll end up having to stay in Fatui."

"Idiot..." [name] grumbled, "I'm not saying you can't do what you want, but let's be honest with ourselves for a moment. Who would willingly stay in this hellhole?"

"Me," Ajax answered immediately, without a hint of hesitation in his speech, "If I go back home, I'll only make more trouble. Just the fact that I'm here makes life easier for everyone, and I can improve my skills."

"Of course you'd say that." They shook their heads, completely disapproving of his choice. They got up from where they sat, offering him a glance. "I envy you, you know that?"

"Hm? You..." Ajax looked up and pointed at them, then at himself. "...envy someone like me?"

"How can I not? You're strong, hopeful, stubborn and very proud," [name] listed, raising a finger for each adjective they found to describe him. "How can I not envy someone like you? You're like..."

"Everything I've always dreamed of being like."

They both uttered the same sentence at the same time, their voices becoming a unison sound that gave way to an awkward silence between them. Their eyes seemed to pierce each other, staring into the depths of the souls in search of some understanding.

"Trust me, I know what it's like," Ajax sighed, "to want to be braver, but at the same time to be too afraid of doing so."

Ajax turned his gaze back to the freezing water. Its darkness brought back vague memories of the abyss. The simple act of fishing was enough to push Ajax's mind back to the past, when he listened to his father's stories — maybe, just maybe, he really wanted to be as great as the heroes in them.

Ajax had once been a poor, fearful boy, terrified of the world outside, but with a spirit hungry for adventure. He had only a shortsword and a bag of bread — anyone could say that it was at that moment, before his fall into the confines of Teyvat, that Ajax began his transformation into what he's now.

"It's not a story I tell anyone, but I used to be a real coward," he admitted, letting out a sigh. "If one day you get stronger... like I did, would you duel with me?"

"Of course..." they smiled, making an x with their arms. "Not!"

Ajax's expression fell, replaced by that of an abandoned puppy. "But why?"

[Name] laughed at his face, crossing their arms. "Don't you remember when we first met?"

For them, the events that led to their current situation were clear as day. From before their enlistment, to the first day in the division.

They were born into a humble family, without any kind of comfort or privilege. [Name] grew up hearing all the stories about the archons and their extraordinary feats, about how lucky those who gained visions were. However, they never understood why their family admired such deities when all they received was misery.

Their parents, in a desperate act, borrowed a large amount of money, which they couldn't pay back. Disaster would be the appropriate word to describe what happened when the deadline for repaying these debts passed. As they were unable to pay, the two were killed by the debt collectors.

But [Name] always had somewhat of a way with their words, and that was the weapon they used to survive in a world like this. Somehow, they managed to negotiate their lives, in exchange for serving in the Fatui army instead of paying off an endless quantity of mora.

And shortly afterwards, [Name] were taken to the Cryo nation, landing in the middle of a terrible blizzard. If it hadn't been for the pyro vision they carried in their hands, [Name] wouldn't be alive to tell the tale, having become an ice statue.

And it was in an old and spacious office where [Name] took their first step towards their new reality. Quite nervously, their hands firmly held a document with all the information about their new career, leaving crumpled marks on its edges. [Name] had never thought they'd be offered to properly work, especially when the job was with none other than Fatui.

They were facing a short, stoic Fatui agent with a big nose and glasses. He seemed like a friendly fellow, but [Name] knew better than to trust someone who worked for those who had killed their family.

"What's your name, child?" asked the man in front of them, as he typed on a typewriter.

They had never seen anything like this, a machine that wrote for people? Unthinkable, it seemed magical, even. [Name] was so glued to it that, for a second, they forgot to answer.

"It's... [Name], that's all. I don't have a last name..."

The agent stopped his notes, giving [Name] a skeptical look. It was enough to make them nervous, unconsciously taking a small step backwards, lowering their head.

"Answer me..." The man went back to typing. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"No, sir. I'm from far away..." they sighed, murmuring, "very, very far...."

"Are you sure you'd like to join Fatui? You're still too young, don't you think it's a big responsibility?"

The agent gave them a gentle smile, different from the look he had given them before. It was as if he was truly giving [Name] a choice — but the truth was, if they didn't accept it, they would probably end up in the same shallow grave as their parents.

"Forgive me, sir, but it's not a question of wanting, it's a question of needing," they replied calmly, "someone has to pay these debts, right? Mora doesn't grow on trees."

[Name] wondered if they had said something wrong, since their tone hadn't exactly been friendly, mentally scolding themselves. But to their surprise, instead of getting scolded, [Name] heard a faint but present chuckle coming from the other person.

"You should thank Her Majesty the Tsaritsa for your kindness," he said, handing them the piece of paper he had been typing on, "how many people do you think have had an opportunity like this, to have their debts absolved and a job guaranteed?"

"Absolved?"

"Exactly, absolved. All we need from you, child, is your loyalty. I can see the potential, but it all depends solely on you." He pointed at their vision, hanging from their waist with a faint shine. "Surely, you're lucky enough to possess one of these."

For anyone else, receiving a vision is a blessing. However, being in possession of one is like having an eternal debt to the world. To be chosen is to be special, and to be special enough to receive a vision is to be distinct from the rest.

Sometimes it became a curse. One can no longer live like a normal person, because there will always be something that sets them apart from the rest. All those who are given one struggle in some way — Has there ever been a vision holder who truly lived an entire life peacefully, without any conflict whatsoever? At least in Snezhnaya, it seemed not.

"I... I accept..." Their eyes filled with hope, looking at their own name perfectly typed on the document. There was the real identity of the gentleman in front of them, revealed in a fancy signature, the Fifth of the Fatui Harbingers, Pulcinella.

[Name] signed their names in the blank space, sealing their fate within the organization. From that moment on, they would be part of the Fatui, just one more in the crowd — But if that was what it took to ensure their survival, [Name] would do it without hesitation.

The real issue, however, was on the first day of duty, and it had a name: Ajax.

[Name] had just put on their uniform, which was a little big for their size. But then again, there were none designed for a fifteen-year-old to wear, so they'd have to be content with what they had on hand.

At least the jacket they were given was comfortable, warm enough to block out some of the bitter cold that surrounded them each second. [Name] even looked like a proper person in it, which made them let out a little laugh.

However, it wasn't until they were standing in line in a meaningful formation that [Name] noticed a boy of a similar age to them. Red curls that stood out against the white backdrop, with a red scarf that was too long for his neck — perhaps they weren't completely alone in that place.

[Name] waited patiently until the time came for them to start training, watching him with eagle eyes, following Ajax wherever he went. When they finally mustered up the courage, they approached him and extended a hand towards him.

"Hello, I'm [Name],"

"Hey!" The boy grinned and shook their hands firmly. "I'm Ajax!"

"Well... looks like we're the same age, huh? How about we train together?" they suggested, thinking it was the best option.

"Sure!" Ajax nodded, putting the sword he was holding aside. "That would be, like... an invitation to battle, right?"

Technically, it was, so they just followed the his reasoning and confirmed it. "Mhm!"

"Then get ready!" he announced, preparing to throw a full punch.

[Name] didn't react immediately, surprised at the speed of the boy who had already set up his punch. "W-WAIT—"

Thud.

Complete darkness was how the first and last friendly match between the two ended, with Ajax knocking them out with a single punch. That's how [Name] would learn that fighting Ajax was a trap. However, [Name] wouldn't lie that at least it had been the best sleep they'd had in months — and the worst black eye they'd ever gotten, too.

"Teyvat to [Name]?" They awoke from their thoughts to see Ajax's hand moving in front of their face. He then tapped them on the forehead. "Is anyone there?"

"Oh, sorry, I got distracted. I was just remembering the punch you gave me." They laughed. "Speaking of which, you also punched that guy the other day too... what's with punching people, redhead?"

"I've already apologized!" His face heated up with embarrassment. "And punching is way more practical. You'd be shocked if you knew how strong a punch from me can really be, when I throw one for real!"

"Hm, sure, no doubt about it—"

"I got one!" Ajax exclaimed, trying to pull the line back on the rod with great difficulty. "A little help would be nice, you know!"

[Name] hurried, wrapping their arms around him and pulling back to bring the fish to the surface. But the animal wouldn't cooperate, even with the effort they made take it out of the water.

Ajax took a step back. "That was fast!"

"Fast? We've been waiting for almost an hour—" They slipped on the ice, pulling him and the fish along with them. In the end, Ajax and [Name] both fell flat, like two idiots.

[Name] looked at him, who was holding the fish in his hands while the animal struggled in them. It was a funny sight, which was enough to get a genuine laugh out of them.

"Haha..." they laughed weakly, then raised their tone, "Hahaha!"

Ajax, hearing the sound of their giggles, bursted into laughter. He laughed so hard that small tears formed in his eyes, "Hahaha... What are we laughing at?"

[Name] pointed at him, "At you, you fool!"

"Oh, really?!" Ajax stood up, bringing the fish in his hands near them. "Let's see who gets the last laugh!"

[Name] got up and ran across the ice, running away from him. They slipped and balanced, with an infectious smile on their faces accompanied by the sweet sound of their laughter, while Ajax chased after them with the animal.

It was moments like this that reminded them that they weren't adults, but two true children at heart.

At least once a week, Ajax and [Name] were sent on missions. They weren't often in charge of the more complicated ones, as they were still too young. However, for the first time, the two of them were allowed to take part in a more risky operation.

The two were supposed to stay with the older ones, but [Name] found themselves alone, having gotten separated from the rest by accident. In the middle of such a large forest, they could only hope that a blizzard wouldn't strike right away.

[Name] analyzed their surroundings, trying to retrace the steps that led them to nowhere and return to where the division had planned to reunite. However, they seemed to go round in circles, never reaching their destination.

That's when they noticed a coat lying in the snow. It was brown, very different from the Fatui soldiers' uniform, with a shabby finishing and a gross smell of blood.

Pow.

That's what they heard, a loud, familiar sound that sent shivers down their spines. Looking up, they saw a bullet hole in the tree, well above their heads — by perhaps two centimeters, they would no longer be alive.

"...!" [Name] instinctively looked for the source of the sound, quickly finding it.

Their desperate eyes met another's, which held no pity. Yet another soldier, wounded, carrying a gun and a tremendous amount of hatred — not everyone liked the Fatui, and not everyone had sympathy just because they were a child.

Frightened, [Name] ran desperately, followed by fierce gunfire that almost hit them. [Name] hid behind a tree and drew out their bow, but couldn't hold it properly no matter how much they tried, since it always slipped from their hands.

The enemy was indeed wounded, but armed and apparently experienced. The look in his face had been enough to send shivers down their spine, because when compared to them, who couldn't even use their vision properly, it was like facing a real monster.

"It'll be all right..." they whispered to themselves. "I just need to—"

[Name] heard more gunshots, too close to where they were. Something told them to run, but also to stay, accept the invitation and have a proper fight. If it was to survive, then [Name] would fight, they needed to.

[Name] couldn't hide forever, it wouldn't be right.

"Come on, you bastard!" [name] shouted, their voice echoing through the woods, as they aimed their bows in the direction of the enemy.

They used their vision and set the arrow ablaze, burning their own fingertips in the process. They didn't know how to control the force with which the arrow burned, but they knew it would hurt anyone who was struck.

[Name] clumsily launched the first arrow, dodging a shower of bullets headed their way. They hoped it was enough, that they had been able to send it flying at his face. But instead, the projectile pierced through his shoulder.

"Damn!" the soldier shouted, trying to reload his weapon while wincing in pain, but his ammunition had run out.

He came up and pistol—whipped them, causing [Name] to cry out in pain for a few seconds. The impact was so intense that they dropped their weapon and fell into the snow.

[Name] then felt the real despair of being weak. They could hear their hearts pounding in their ears and their eyes watering from the pain of the blows they received to the head, while blood trickled down their faces.

They grabbed his foot, applying pyro to their hands to make his boot burn along with it. When he fell, it was then that they saw their chance to stay alive handed to them on a platter.

They reached for the bow that lay on the ground next to them, firmly holding it anyway. Nothing mattered, only survival and that was all — they only needed to survive, to live long enough to prove that they were capable.

It didn't take much for one person to kill another, just despair. That feeling of helplessness and genuine dread, which would move mountains if necessary, was all it took to pull the trigger.

They violently hit the enemy in the face with their own bow, as if it were a bat. It was only when the return attacks stopped that they realized what they had done. The body below had an expression of terror, eyes wide as blood dripped onto the white snow, staining its purity with a crimson shade.

"I—I didn't... I did this...?" They stared at their bloodied hands, feeling their heart beating wildly against their chest. That's when, suddenly, an incessant urge to cough overtook them, but only blood came from their mouth.

[Name] looked down and realized that they had been shot in the chest. The bullet had gone through what seemed to be their lung, they didn't know, the adrenaline was hiding the pain for as long as it took. However, the spot hit was clearly a lethal wound.

They took two clumsy steps backwards, shaking their heads in denial. [Name] was too afraid to do anything like that, taking a life itself was too cruel an act for them, but it was done.

However, they didn't want to die as murderers, not really. So, with determination, [Name] decided they wouldn't die there.

They turned around and ran that time like there was no tomorrow, using every drop of adrenaline they still had in their bodies. [Name] couldn't see the sun shining, only the same gray clouds that covered the sky, which seemed to mock the fact that there was no light at the end.

Their only way out was to get to the camp, where there should be healers waiting for the wounded. However, it was difficult for [Name] to distinguish the landscape around them, especially in such a nervous state.

[Name] tripped over their own foot, losing their balance and rolling painfully down the mountain. They watched life pass before their eyes, each moment painful with the intention of just surviving, not living. Then they closed their eyes tightly, already bracing themselves for a more abrupt impact and accepting certain death.

They hit a tree, before rolling one last time to the bottom of the hill. Fortunately, or not, it was low enough for them not to die on impact — they did wish it had been stronger, ending it all quickly.

[Name] felt like a bird, floating in the sky with their eyes closed. They thought they had died because of the serenity felt for a few seconds, only to be crushed by the cruel reality. Their fall had been gently cushioned by the snow, but even with all this effort, they couldn't see the camp — which meant it had all been in vain.

Finally, the pain returned to their body as if it had never left. Breathing was difficult, with each breath being painful in the extreme, as if their organs were punishing them for still being alive.

"N—No," they sobbed through words, hot tears contrasting with the coldness that cruelly coursed through their veins. "I—I hate it... I wanted to die in peace, not like this... Not like this..."

Their trembling hands squeezed the wound in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding. [Name] didn't know how much time they had left, they didn't want to know either, all left to do was pray to Tsaritsa and beg for a little mercy, for a quick death if possible.

[Name] still hadn't paid their debt to Her Majesty, for the life they had been offered. For the bread to eat every day, for the tent they had over their heads, for letting them breathe, for letting them remain in existence, they had to do their utmost to repay all the favors with whatever they could.

For the gratuitously heavy insults that they had to swallow in silence because they were weak; for the mountains and snowstorms that brought them down along the way; for the disgraceful defective vision of theirs — or rather, they were the defective ones.

"P—Please..." [Name] begged the nothing, while holding their vision close to their chest, "if miracles really do exist…”

How many things had [Name] thrown away, when what they wanted most was to prove to everyone that, even if they were weak, they didn't need to prove anything to anyone? [Name] didn't know, only the bitterness of a wasted time remained in their hearts.

They let their tears fall over the flaming orb, whose glow no longer seemed the same. With one last kiss to the gem, a silent thank you, they began to weep for a life they were about to lose.

There would be no one to mourn their death, to lament the defeat of someone who had never once won. They probably wouldn't even have a funeral, but would just be buried somewhere like an animal. How terrible would it be to be completely forgotten, with no soul to remember their existence?

And Ajax, their only friend... finally acknowledged this fact. Would the boy be desolate? Grieve? Or would he carry on as he always seemed to do?

They regretted not having told him things in life that only they could say. They could only hope for the best, that he wouldn't take the news that badly — but at the same time, there was a small, selfish desire for him to feel their death. Not because [Name] wanted him to suffer, but because that way they would know that they mattered to someone.

[Name] recalled the memories they had made with him, like when they first met, when they went ice fishing a few days ago. The image of how they ran and laughed with him that night, as if they weren't the next ones to die, was fresh.

At last, their body felt light, receiving a moment of tranquillity reserved for the end of endings, when [Name] felt nothing but the slow rhythm of their heartbeats, fighting for a lost cause, as if they didn't have two holes in their chests.

"I was truly... useless until the end, wasn't I...?" [Name] murmured what they knew would be their last words, a vent to themselves and to the world. With the last beat of their hearts and the cessation of their breathing, snowflakes touched the now freezing skin. "I hope I have served you well... Your Majesty..."

They died in silence, without disturbing anyone.

Meanwhile, with the mission over, Ajax found himself extremely bored. Contemplating the pure white snow stained with blood as he returned to camp had already become a habit of his.

He could not care less that his face had a few small scratches on it. Though, he had to admit, that any kind of mission made him tired. But before he could rest, he found a place to rest. So Ajax began to look for them throughout the camp, without any success in his search.

'They must be receiving medical care...' He thought, as he made his way towards the tent where the doctors were staying.

It was a small space that was often crowded with the number of people wounded during missions. Finding any specific person was difficult, even more so when he was being pestered to be treated right away because he was younger.

"Are you sure you don't want to go first?" one of the doctors asked, placing a hand on his bruised face.

"No, I'm fine!" Ajax smiled. "I'm just looking for..."

For some reason, his eyes fixed on a particular corner of the tent. Away from the rest, it was where they put the bodies of those who had perished in combat; but Ajax had never taken much notice of it, so why now?

He approached slowly, in silence. Ajax felt an uncharacteristic nervousness come over him, running through his veins. The chills he felt seemed to swallow him up from the inside out, it had been a long time since Ajax had felt like this, as if something was screaming "don't go there, stay here" and attempting to keep him from discovering the truth, as he approached a particular cloth.

He stopped in front of the covered figure, noticing something sticking out of the cloth. An object, a... vision. But the only ones in the entire division who possessed one were him and... [Name].

Terror was too little to describe what overtook Ajax, who hesitated to lift the cloth covering the individual's face. He wished he wouldn't hear his head and believe that they weren't the dead man in front of him.

With trembling hands, which he tried to stop, Ajax lifted the fabric slightly. And that's when the ground really seemed to crumble beneath him — they were dead, [Name] was truly dead.

Their skin was so pale and cold that it scared him a bit. But what particularly caught Ajax's eye was the sheer amount of blood they had lost, as their face and hair were completely stained a deep crimson red; and no one had bothered to close their eyes, devoid of life and its particular glow. Now, they were just a pit of darkness that matched his own.

"..." Ajax just stared, unable to say anything. Everything was trapped inside, without him being able to express it.

Ajax tried to tell himself that he didn't care, that they weren't really friends, just work colleagues. But the sadness in his heart betrayed the stoicism he tried so hard to maintain.

Ajax closed their eyes gently and kissed [Name]'s forehead gently before covering their face with the cloth again. It was an action that any mother would take on seeing her child dead, but they didn't have one to weep over their death — and if there wasn't one, then Ajax would play his part in showing respect for them.

Ajax may even have changed when he fell into the abyss, becoming a maniac for fighting and confusion. But at the end of the day, he was human just like everyone else.

Two days later, the tent they shared was cold, without the heat of the lamp to warm Ajax up, as it had already gone out with the icy wind coming through the gap in the entrance.

It was [Name] who kept them warm in the middle of the night, using their vision to keep the fire burning. And that was just a bitter reminder that they were no longer there.

The others had taken away everything that was theirs, accommodating what would be the belongings of a new tentmate, who would be arriving in a few days. It was as if they had ceased to exist altogether.

Ajax wouldn't mind being hit in the face with a pillow if they were the ones to hit him, with that smile, with that irritating tone of voice of theirs that Ajax recognized from afar. He wouldn't mind being called "redhead" again, if it was them calling him that.

"Ajax?" The voice that called him from outside was familiar to Ajax. It was the Fifth.

Ajax promptly got to his feet, walking outside the tent and greeting him politely, a treatment he reserved only for The Rooster. "I'm here, sir."

"I heard that one of your companions fell in battle... a shame," the Harbinger said, as he searched for something in his pocket. "Well, here it is..."

The man handed him a gray envelope, a letter. In the corner was written in almost illegible handwriting the names of the sender and recipient, respectively: [Name] and Ajax.

"Thank you, sir," he nodded, holding the envelope tightly in his hands.

"You were both very similar ages, you and..." the Rooster paused, having forgotten their name.

"[Name]." It was the first time Ajax had said their names, having called them "comrade" all the time since they'd met. Honestly, it hurt a little, how difficult it was to utter a simple phoneme.

A few minutes later, Ajax said goodbye to the Harbinger and entered the darkness of the tent again. He left out a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever was written inside that envelope.

Ajax could no longer remember what The Rooster had talked about, only that the exchange of words had been short, like all the others before. He didn't even have the mind to think about it now, he could apologize later if he forgot some important information.

But right now, the only thing that mattered to Ajax was [Name]'s letter. He opened the envelope, trying to be careful not to tear it, but in the end he did. Ajax strained his eyes to read what was written there, in a handwriting as bad as theirs.

Dear Ajax,

Should I start a letter with "dear"? I don't know, honestly, I have never written one. Well, if this letter found you, then that means I must be dead by now. I'm sure you're glad I did, as you'll now have the whole tent to yourself.

I've written this because I know that, in life, I might not be able to say what I think. I believe we're already friends, don't you too? That's how I feel about you, I think you're my only friend, and I've been very happy about that. Thank you, thank you very much, for the joyful and humorous moments you've provided me with in this little end of the world that is Snezhnaya.

I asked you the other day if you felt homesick; you may deny it, but I can understand how you feel, away from everyone you love in a place like this. Know that whatever may happen, I believe that the same people you miss feel the same way you do.

Don't listen to that little voice in your head that whispers "you're nothing but trouble", it's stupid. When I look at you, I don't see a troubled boy, but a boy with the heart of another. That day we were late for training, you could just as well have walked away and let me be punished for being late, but you didn't. We cleaned all the weapons by ourselves. We polished all the weapons alone, for hours, and you never complained. Why was that?

I don't know, but I'd like it to stay that way, so keep going! I'll be cheering you on from wherever I am, because you're the best warrior I've ever had the honor of meeting.

I end this letter with my admiration and gratitude to you; and never forget: we have our own time!

With much care,

[Name].

A single tear fell onto the paper, right below their name, accompanied by others that would soon form a hot waterfall in his eyes. Ajax didn't know how to respond to this, covering his face with the paper, as if he was embarrassed to end up being seen like this

Perhaps it was for the better, a reminder that life really wasn't fair, and that Ajax had strayed from the path he was on. He didn't want to care so much, but at the same time he did.

Ajax wanted someone to comfort him, to tell and reassure him that it was all right, that this sort of thing did happen, but at the same time, it didn't. It was hard, very hard, to face it. It was difficult, very difficult, to face the loneliness that he tried so hard to hide behind brute strength.

Anyone who saw him like that would doubt that he was the same person who ravaged the battlefield with his bloodlust, the boy who seemed like an uncontrollable monster with an indomitable spirit, causing trouble wherever he went.

But for one last time, in the darkness of that tent, he allowed himself to be... Vulnerable.

[yourwitchmama]

Why Don’t They Like Me? Pick a card

**disclaimer**

This reading is harsh without any sugar coating. Please scroll for your own mental health if you need to nurture yourself right now. If you are genuinely curious or want to change, proceed.

How do I pick a pile?

Intuitively pick a number between 1 and six, and scroll to the number you chose.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Pile 1: Two of Wands Reversed, King of Wands Reversed, Four of Wands Reversed

There is a clash in visions and leadership. You’re seen as indecisive and lack the direction that the person in question respects. They may feel your energy is too controlling or overpowering, making them uncomfortable in your presence. They might see you as someone who disrupts the harmony they create. I believe that this person isn’t jealous of you, but they are threatened and competing with you.

Pile 2: Queen of Cups Reversed, Ten of Cups, Three of Swords Reversed

There’s a sense of emotional instability here. They feel that you're overly sensitive or manipulative, using emotions as a weapon. Despite any outward appearance of happiness or connection, there's lingering pain or betrayal they associate with you. They might be trying to move on, but old wounds are hard to heal. This person holds grudges about your stubbornness, but their vision of you is skewed by their pain.

Pile 3: Four of Cups, Three of Cups Reversed, Ace of Wands Reversed

They see you as disinterested or detached, perhaps even bored with what they offer. There might have been a fallout or betrayal in a social circle, leading to distrust. They could feel that your energy is stagnant, lacking the enthusiasm or spark they crave, making it hard for them to connect with you.

They feel like you’re a narcissist or a sociopath because of your lack of empathy. They keep this to themselves mostly. (If you think you have those disorders, therapy is helpful for navigating your self esteem and place in this world/unmanageable boredom)

Pile 4: Ace of Pentacles, The Fool, Nine of Swords

Your approach to life might seem reckless or overly optimistic to them, making them anxious and annoyed. They could be projecting their own fears and insecurities onto you, seeing you as someone who triggers their deepest worries. Despite your potential and opportunities, they might view your actions as naive or thoughtless, causing them discomfort and disrespect towards you. The problem isn’t you at all, the problem is that there are two personalities clashing. This person is scared and jealous of your optimism. It is not likely that you will be close.

Pile 5: Eight of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles Reversed, The Empress Reversed

They might not respect your work ethic or feel that you don’t contribute enough to the collective effort. There’s a sense that you’re not meeting their standards, either in teamwork or creativity. The Empress reversed suggests they see you as lacking nurturing or empathy, perhaps even as someone who drains rather than supports. They think you over share and trauma dump at inappropriate times in inappropriate places. It’s okay to share, but make sure it isn’t at work or it the person seems uncomfortable. (They’re shuffling, looking away, getting quiet, crossing their arms, looking behind their shoulder, shaking a knee ((not all at the same time))

Don’t overly apologize just brush it off. Making a big deal out of it will make them feel worse about you. For this person/place/people, play it cool and shut your mouth because they aren’t worth your lore honey~

Pile 6: Four of Cups, Six of Cups, The Magician

There could be a sense of you being stuck in the past or too focused on nostalgia, making them feel you’re not living in the present. They might see you as manipulative or deceitful, using your skills or charm in ways that make them uncomfortable. Their dislike could stem from a belief that you’re not genuine or that you're using your power in a way they don’t agree with. They feel like you might be borderline, and you need therapy. They don’t want to let go of you, but they are considering it or have recently done it due to their own well being.

[sagistrology]

moon observations (pisces moon)

♓︎ generally, many water moons tend to be more connected to the night than the day. they often find both comfort and solitude in the nighttime hours, leaving space for introspection, dreaming, and allowing the subconscious to surface. all water moons share a deep connection to water, often in an extreme way - either needing it as we need oxygen to breathe or being terrified of it, yet irresistibly drawn to it.

♓︎ being loved by a water moon is likely an experience you won’t have twice. their love is the kind you read about and fantasize over. the point is that with them, these deeply rooted desires are brought to the surface and fully experienced.

♓︎ pisces moon: dreamy by nature, with deep eyes often filled with an inexplicable sentimentality that’s hard to grasp or put into words. deeply attuned to art, they find outlets for their emotions through poetry, journaling, or recording their thoughts - this is true of all water moons. pisces moons find comfort in writing, singing, painting - any form of art you can think of.

♓︎ being loved by a pisces moon feels like being confronted with yourself, mirrored - reflecting back the fractured parts of you, your deepest pain, subconscious fears, and desires, all rising to the surface. pisces connects to the 12th house, the last in the zodiac, symbolizing endings, a turning inward, and the attainment of a new state of being.

♓︎ i envision pisces moons as the facets of a prism, refracting light in different directions, each unique and impossible to duplicate. think of neptune and jupiter - illusion and expansion.

♓︎ they often fall victim to being seen as a ‘concept’ rather than an actual person, a tendency that extends to all water moons, even to venus, as they embody ‘dreamy’ characteristics - being immensely projected upon.

♓︎ pisces moons are naturally intuitive, living in the unseen spaces between reality and dreams. their emotional landscape runs deep, often unspoken yet felt. they're highly sensitive to the energies around them, easily absorbing the emotions of others, which can lead to moments of overwhelm or confusion. boundaries, both internal and external, often become blurred for them, making it essential to seek solace in solitude or creative outlets.

♓︎ this moon is closely linked to empathy, sometimes to a fault - where they give and feel without limitation, making them natural healers and listeners, but also leaving them prone to emotional exhaustion.

♓︎ at the heart of all water moons, including pisces, is the moon’s intrinsic connection to water. the moon governs our emotional world, just as water reflects and amplifies the shifts within. water signs, by nature, are deeply attuned to cycles, much like the moon’s phases - forever ebbing and flowing, waxing and waning.

♓︎ this dynamic is central to water moons’ emotional lives. they navigate through feelings with fluidity, often drawn into the currents of the past, memory, and intuition. their lives are often centered around emotional depth, nurturing, and an innate need to connect with others deeply.

♓︎ pisces moons, specifically, embody the themes of surrender and transcendence. they often feel called to something greater, yearning for experiences that dissolve the boundaries of self and time. this can manifest in spiritual pursuits, dreams, or deep emotional connections that make them feel part of something larger than the mundane.

♓︎ escapism is a potential shadow side - whether through dissociation, art, or avoidance, as they seek refuge from a world that can feel too harsh or limiting. at their best, pisces moons teach others the value of compassion, acceptance, and the beauty of letting go.

<3, l

[pen-observing]

warm.

synopsis: Call him selfish but he can't help wanting your gaze to be directed at him.

Dottore x reader (gn!) word count: 1k warnings:  jealousy (slight), Akademiya Dottore aka. Zandik is the name he goes by, the other dude is Alhaitham's predecessor, non-established relationship.

He doesn’t like to admit it, but just like everyone else at the Akademiya, he has to follow a schedule. It is one thing to have assigned classes with professors he either admires or looks down upon while being forced to listen to them run their mouth. But, perhaps, what is even worse – is that every student has their own habits that come to constitute a schedule. He knows who is going to get their fortune read from coffee grains right at dawn (because apparently, they are more accurate); if they had true things a dedicated scholar needed, they would not rely on something so arbitrary. He knows just where his peers go to rest – and he hates that he knows your schedules aren’t aligned with his during this time.

It is one thing to be in different darshans so that he cannot gain access to you for a week, but it is a completely different thing to finish one of his secret small-scale experiments and to come back only to see your gaze resting on someone else. Someone he doesn’t even know the name of. Are they not unworthy of it? Of your warmth? 

Zandik’s schedule includes others being fascinated with his mind and talent. If he finishes a lab experiment, both peers and professors stay behind to ask him questions. He isn’t blind to how his knowledge, personality and handsome looks if gossip is anything to go by – attracted awe. When he comes back to the Akademiya with visible exhaustion written all over his face; it is no surprise that his ‘fan club’ rushes to greet him in the hallways, to extend their homecooked meals or quick snacks and drinks to him. He thanks them, but he never takes theirs – he always finds a way to pester you into giving him one bite and one sip of your own lunch. 

What would he say he thinks of you? He finds you interesting and intriguing. Synonyms in his mind that belong to you are: warmth, passion and empathy. Some of those he knows he is starting to lack. In the start, you would greet him just like everyone else, you would chat about unimportant things like the weather if both of you were waiting for a professor on their floor, you would congratulate him without any jealousy on his own achievements.  

Something kept telling him to seek you out, during lunch or study hours in the library. He simply wanted to know more about you. And while he deems your passion a true necessity for a scholar, your mind almost as brilliant as his own – he always felt that you would be too soft for this man-hinders-man world without him.  

So just who is that standing by your side right now? And why is your hand resting on his arm? Dottore knows the deepest colors of your eyes (because he was curious enough to hold your face one night under the starlight) – he has grown so fond of your eyelashes (because they give away who you are gazing at fondly, because you always make a wish with them) – so why is everything he considers charming looking at someone else? 

“Zandik!”, says the female researcher he knows is plagiarising her thesis, “Please take some of my homemade cookies.”  

He stands still in the circle of his admirers, but he barely hears her or anyone else because your hand just brushed the shoulder of that man.   Call him egotistical or attention seeking, but whoever that person is – they are unworthy.   He moves away the girl’s hand, says a quick excuse me that he does not mean, and starts walking in your direction.  

The man has a dumbstruck look on his face as you talk. Zandik thinks you carry your emotions on your face so loudly that he could grow to advise you against it. You give it away – you are impressed with that unknown man. 

Every step he takes towards you gives him a new idea on how to approach this situation. Rudely interrupt, barge in with his own topic; grab your hand and drag you away while talking about the rain; simply stand there and glare at the man. All of those options fill him with different kinds of joy but then he settles on the next one that comes to mind.  

Instead of any of that, Zandik walks up and hugs you from behind. Nothing odd surely? You two would exchange quick hugs as greetings and as a goodbye at the end of the day. But what is new is this situation, this proximity to it, he can’t help but rest his head against your shoulder before he says good morning, in that deep honeyed voice. In the background he can hear the sound of something hitting the ground. Must be the cookies he refused earlier. 

“W-What? Ugh Zandik! What is wrong with you? Where did you come from?!” 

Good, now your attention is on him. He still doesn’t let you go, instead he raises his eyebrows up at the man completely frozen and suddenly lost in such a way that it almost looks like he is rolling his eyes. He wins this round.  

“What is wrong with me, huh? I was just cold and you are very warm-blooded.”   “I don’t remember being a stove. Move.” 

Ah, there it is, your personality he finds more charming than anything. Could you be telling him to move because of this man? He rolls his eyes again and detaches himself from you, losing your warmth.  

“I-I will see you around!”   Good, the man is already leaving the hallway and not even looking at you anymore. Dottore finds himself pleased as he leans against the wall. 

“Who was that boring guy you were talking to just now?”  “Alhayith? He is my project partner.”  

He should really adjust his schedule to keep a better track of yours. Perhaps he should become a double major?  

“I see.” He doesn’t want to keep talking about him.   “Do you have food?”  “I do. I am not letting you have a single bite this time.”  

You’re already walking away and he follow you. 

“What if I tell you I haven’t had any food in exactly 15 hours and 38 minutes?”  “Fine.” You say it with a sigh. “You get 3 bites and 2 sips.” 

a/n: If you give him more than 3 bites you are a simp and he doesn't deserve them!

[padawanlost]

Hey! I just came around your blog and I’m actually new to the Star Wars fandom (I know I’m ridiculously late 😭) and I happen to be a huge Anidala shipper 🥺 they’re just so wholesome and sweet. But I did want to ask if there’s any official material out there (such as novels, or comics) explaining why they both love one another so deeply? Your one of the blogs I find has the most reliable prequels related stuff, so I’d love to hear your answer ♥️

Hey!! Welcome to the PT fandom, we're lucky to have you :)

I wanted to write a love story in a style that was extremely old-fashioned, and frankly I didn’t know if I was going to pull it off. In many ways this was much more like a movie that from the 1930s than any of the others had been, with a slightly over-the-top, poetic style-and they just don’t do that in movies anymore. I was very happy with the way it turned out in the script and in the performances, but I knew people might not buy it. [George Lucas]

Beyond the obvious "they had to", I can give you a thousand reasons why they fell in love: the trill of "forbidden love", shared childhood experience, mutual admiration, their physical appearances, mutual idealization, loneliness, shared values like loyalty and family, a escape from duty, etc. Because they are such complex characters we cannot reduce their story into a simple equation that could explain why they fell in love. Because…why do people fall in love? we can’t rationalize human behavior like that, not perfectly anyway.

Her life before Anakin belonged to someone else, some lesser being to be pitied, some poor impoverished spirit who could never suspect how profoundly life should be lived. Her real life began the first time she looked into Anakin Skywalker’s eyes and found in there not the uncritical worship of little Annie from Tatooine, but the direct, unashamed, smoldering passion of a powerful Jedi: a young man, to be sure, but every centimeter a man—a man whose legend was already growing within the Jedi Order and beyond. A man who knew exactly what he wanted and was honest enough to simply ask for it; a man strong enough to unroll his deepest feelings before her without fear and without shame. A man who had loved her for a decade, with faithful and patient heart, while he waited for the act of destiny he was sure would someday open her own heart to the fire in his. [Matthew Stover. Revenge of the Sith]

Both Anakin and Padmé were laughing now, and their laughter increased as they saw the look on the unfortunate creature’s long-billed face. Anakin looked at Padmé and the girl at him. Their laughter died away. The girl reached up to touch her hair self-consciously, but she did not divert her gaze. “I’m going to marry you,” the boy said suddenly. There was a moment of silence, and she began laughing again, a sweet musical sound he didn’t mind at all. The creature who accompanied her rolled his eyes.  “I mean it,” he insisted. “You are an odd one,” she said, her laughter dying away.  “Why do you say that?” He hesitated.  “I guess because it’s what I believe …” Her smile was dazzling. “Well, I’m afraid I can’t marry you …” She paused, searching her memory for his name.  “Anakin,” he said. “Anakin.” She cocked her head. “You’re just a little boy.”  His gaze was intense as he faced her. “I won’t always be,” he said quietly. [Terry Brooks. The Phantom Menace]

Personally, I like to think their relationship was the culmination of their time together and apart. Their jobs, their sense of duty, their longing for peace and family and, most of all, empathy for each other.

Most people looked at them and saw a senator, a jedi and little else. They built these masks to protect themselves…but when they were together they could see each other for what their really were. That’s rare and for it to happen you have to empathize with someone and, most importantly, trust them with yourself.  Anakin and Padme had that. They had the bond, the faith in each other that allowed them to fully opened themselves and sustain their relationship beyond physical attraction.

[heartshapedbubble]

Hi, i'm so glad to see you here again! I hope you are doing well after your winter break

You may not believe it, but as soon as I thought about you, it turned out that you opened requests again!

Actually, I don't have a specific request, just an idea: Dreamwalker interacting with the reader acting as a "sleeping beauty". Maybe it could be a very very short oneshot with scene where Luchino wakes up the reader with a kiss or few hcs where Luchino sends the sleeping reader good dreams, warding off nightmares or smth like that

I guess my thoughts look very messy, so it's okay if you reject the request. This idea came to me right before going to bed, but it seemed so interesting to me that I couldn't help but share it with you

No matter what you decide, thank you for attention and have a nice day! ♡

oh god i had so much ideas/concepts with this but compiling them into something... comprehensible was quite the challenge. i love dream walker to death one of my favourite a tiers

this went more in the general hc direction but i made sure not to forget the romance🫡🫡🫡

shout out to you nehvas you're one of the people carrying both my account and the luchino fan society ong 🙏 luchino fans are in for a treat with this one i fear i didn't expect to write this much but here we are

dream walker luchino with a sleeping reader/general hcs🦎🌠

cut for length !

one of the first things that came to mind here were the notsnitsa (nochnitsa), evil spirits from slavic mythology that torment the sleeper by sitting on their chest, drawing out their life energy

i'd consider dream walker an anti-hero, maybe not even a hero at all. all he does is roam people's dreams, be they nightmares or heavens, that's why he's armed in the first place!

the exact reason why he roams the dream sphere is unknown to him. at one unspecified point in his (now) immortal life he sensed a calling to slay the horrors concocted by the human consciousness when it's off the leash of sanity, and for him, that's when his actual life started

once he finishes exploring, he bottles up the dream inside a glass container, ridding the person of it and their memories of it for the night, adding them to his already big collection. during his free time, he rewinds the dreams and watches the unique dream world unfold inside the container like an ecosystem, bursting with life that, sadly, isn't real nor logical

the way he enters a dream is quite simple. since he's not active nor visible to mortals in the daylight, the moment the clock strikes for midnight he enters the chosen one's bedroom through the window, crawls to their bed and inches his own face closer and closer to the victim's, merging their minds, perceptions and senses together

he, in fact, never considered the act to be something possibly intimate or even loving, and he hardly paid any attention at what the person he's possessing looks like anyway. for him, the beauty does not lie in the shell of the human body, but rather in the roamings of their stray mind, their deepest and darkest desires unveiling when their owner is already asleep

but maybe, just maybe... there's something more beyond the boundaries that he's familiar with.

however, he can't say that he lacks empathy. maybe just doesn't lack it completely. when he feels them squirming or beads of sweat forming on somebody's forehead under his coarse palms he sighs and something in him just clicks, and without thinking he wipes their sweat and pressed his cheek to theirs instead, gently holding them until the threat subsides enough for him to deal with it

you found yourself directly facing - or not - the dream walker once. or twice. or was it maybe thrice? every single time it felt new, the eyes under the cap shining in a new, unknown way to you and that bioluminescence of his illuminating his face from a different direction during every encounter.

it felt like you were paralyzed, unable to move, unable to dream, completely aware of the layout of your dark room, although you knew your eyelids were tightly shut. in the blink of an eye your window flung open and, barely making a sound, a monster at first sight entered your room, anchoring itself on the footboard of your bed. it was like thousands of fireflies clustered around his body, his eyes shining brightly like two beams, directed right at your sweating face.

despite it's appearance, it did not talk, it did not roar, not even hiss. from its mouth only an occassional deep breath was heard, and motionlessly it sat there - looking at you for what seemed to be tens of minutes. it - or he - had a seemingly puzzled expression on his face, trying to get at something. after rubbing his face a few times and averting his gaze in embarrassment, you figured he wasn't sure why he was doing so, either.

it got off the bed, creeping to the side of your bed, crouching down so he was face-to-face with you. he even tilted his head, maybe out of curiosity, maybe to mimic the position of your head. your heart was beating so hard you swore you could end up breathless, and cold sweat showered you, but at the same time you felt no fear. as if you have already gotten over the shock of this stranger in your room. it stemmed from something else, which for now you couldn't feel, your body reacting to it automatically

by now you could feel his breath on your forehead. his claw went for your soaked cheeks, brushing the sweat off with as much care as possible. before you could even think it through, he grasped your face with his hands, one hand below your chin, the other on the top of your head, and brought it closer to his. his scaly face was cold to the touch, like pressing your face against a frostbitten hand. your mind slowly went foggy afterwards. what you saw before your eyes were spots of gray and white, clustered like clouds. with a guilty look on his face, he moved away after a while - your vision now back to normal - as if he was contemplating if he should stay or not.

for a moment he returned - reaching for your face with his own again, but this time, quickly pressing his closed mouth on the spot where your nose meets the forehead, seemingly trying to give you some sort of a blessing. retracting away as if had committed a crime, a glass bottle in his firmly clenched hand, he backed out of your room - the window perfectly shut as if nothing happened.

he became a frequent guest, leaving with a differently colored bottle every time you saw him, and when you weren't able to see, you sensed his presence around you, that magical aura of his. the scent of rainy forests with a soft hint of blackcurrant, always unleashing a pleasant cold feeling beneath your skin under all those heavy blankets. sometimes his lips rested longer on your temples, and a few times he even unbuttoned the first button of your shirt, letting you cool down faster after what you discovered was a reaction to a nightmare. and when you didn't hear him pacing around your bed, you could sense his gaze hyperfocused on your face from the usual spot he was perched on.

the following mornings were always odd, your limbs numb and mysterious marks scattered across your arms and sides. nevermind the effects on your body, your head never hurt and your mind was clear, not a single nightmare or problem troubling you upon waking up.

you weren't sure why or what exactly was he doing - but you found yourself excitedly waiting for his return, wandering to sleep without any troubles.

the next time i see him, you thought to yourself, i'm going to be the one reaching for his face. and every time it was him going in first, and every time, it seemed like he stayed an hour longer than before, looking out for you in the dead of night. troubled with what he didn't know were potention feelings, puzzled by questions with no answers, he looked back at your serene state, and swore he'll find out as soon as possible. and until then... he might as well make you his.

this last sentence was a bit corny im sorry guys im writing thus half asleep

[sensualnoiree]

astro notes: daily transits 9/2

Today’s astrological energies bring a mix of challenges and opportunities for deep healing and new beginnings. The day starts with some potential for conflict as the Sun forms a sesquiquadrate with Eris, a dwarf planet associated with discord and disruption. However, this tension is softened by a healing Mercury–Chiron trine, inviting us to engage in honest and heartfelt communication that can pave the way for resolution. As the day progresses, the New Moon in Virgo offers a chance to set intentions for the month ahead, while a Mars–Neptune square complicates our ability to assert ourselves clearly, leading to possible confusion or misdirection.

Key Influences

Sun Sesquiquadrate Eris: Morning Conflict and Controversy: The day begins with a sesquiquadrate between the Sun in Virgo and Eris in Aries, an aspect that can stir up conflict, controversy, and a tendency toward finger-pointing or shaming. Eris, known for her disruptive influence, often brings to the surface issues that have been brewing beneath the surface. This energy may manifest as confrontations or power struggles, especially in areas where there has been a buildup of tension or resentment. The Virgo Sun, focused on details and precision, may feel challenged by Eris’s chaotic and rebellious nature, leading to feelings of frustration or irritation. It’s important to navigate this energy with care, avoiding unnecessary blame or criticism, and instead focusing on constructive solutions.

Mercury Trine Chiron: Healing Conversations: Following the morning’s potential turbulence, a trine between Mercury in Virgo and Chiron in Aries offers an opportunity for healing through communication. This aspect encourages us to have honest, heart-to-heart conversations, whether with others or within ourselves. Chiron, often referred to as the “wounded healer,” brings attention to our deepest wounds, while Mercury, the planet of communication, provides the means to express and understand these vulnerabilities. This is an ideal time to address any lingering issues or misunderstandings, as the trine aspect fosters a supportive and compassionate environment for healing. Use this energy to engage in meaningful dialogue, share your feelings, and listen with empathy to others.

New Moon in Virgo (11°04'): Setting Intentions for Growth: The Sun and Moon align at 6:55 p.m. PDT for their monthly New Moon rendezvous, this time at 11°04' Virgo. New Moons are traditionally a time for setting intentions and planting seeds for the future. In Virgo, the focus is on refinement, organization, health, and service. This New Moon invites us to examine the details of our lives, make improvements, and set practical goals that align with our desire for growth and self-improvement. Virgo’s energy supports meticulous planning and a methodical approach, making this an excellent time to start new projects that require attention to detail and a commitment to excellence. Consider how you can bring more order and efficiency into your daily routines, and set intentions that support your well-being and personal development.

Mars Square Neptune: Confusion and Misaligned Efforts: The day’s energies are further complicated by a square between Mars in Sagittarius and Neptune in Pisces. This aspect can create confusion about our desires and goals, making it difficult to assert ourselves effectively. Mars, the planet of action and drive, wants to move forward with confidence, but Neptune’s foggy influence can obscure our vision, leading to uncertainty and a lack of direction. This can result in efforts that go astray or actions that fail to produce the desired outcome. It’s important to be mindful of this potential for misalignment and to avoid making impulsive decisions or taking actions that are not well thought out. Instead, use this time to reflect on your true motivations and ensure that your actions are aligned with your higher ideals.

Integrating the Influences

Navigating Morning Tensions: Avoiding Conflict: The Sun’s sesquiquadrate with Eris suggests the potential for conflicts or power struggles, particularly in the morning hours. To navigate this energy, it’s important to remain mindful of any tendencies toward blame or criticism. Instead, focus on constructive communication and finding common ground. This is not the time to engage in unnecessary confrontations or to escalate tensions. If conflicts do arise, try to approach them with a calm and solution-oriented mindset.

Embracing Healing Conversations: Leveraging Mercury–Chiron Trine: The Mercury–Chiron trine provides a powerful opportunity for healing through communication. Use this energy to address any lingering issues or to have important conversations that may have been put off. This aspect encourages honesty, vulnerability, and empathy, making it easier to connect with others on a deeper level. Whether it’s a heart-to-heart talk with a loved one or a reflective conversation with yourself, this is a time to heal old wounds and foster understanding.

Setting Practical Intentions: Harnessing the New Moon in Virgo: The New Moon in Virgo is an ideal time to set intentions related to health, organization, and personal growth. Virgo’s energy supports practical, detail-oriented goals, so consider how you can bring more structure and efficiency into your life. Whether it’s improving your daily routines, starting a new health regimen, or refining a project, this New Moon encourages you to focus on the small steps that lead to significant improvements over time. Write down your intentions and make a plan for how you will implement them in the coming weeks.

Avoiding Missteps: Managing Mars–Neptune Square: The Mars–Neptune square warns of potential confusion or misdirection in your actions. Be cautious about making impulsive decisions or taking actions that are not well thought out. This is a time to double-check your motivations and ensure that your efforts are aligned with your true desires. If you feel uncertain or unclear about your goals, take a step back and use this time for reflection rather than pushing forward. Trust that clarity will come with patience and introspection.

follow for more astro insights like this and head on over to @quenysefields or my etsy --> sensualnoiree to grab my new astrology guidebook on reading your own natal chart :)

[adammbakri]

Letter to a Zionist Artist

I recently passed up an offer to take part in a reading of a play about 'the two equals in crime.' In an email to its author, I explained why:

Dear Ruth,  

I hope this message finds you well. 

Allow me to begin by offering my heartfelt apologies for directly reaching out to you. I understand the presumption inherent in such an act and I have great respect for your artistic freedom. 

Nevertheless, as a Palestinian artist I felt compelled to share my thoughts with you. Could it be that for us, the urgency of the matter is heightened? Perhaps it is my profound excitement at witnessing a rare occurrence—an American play that authentically captures the essence of individuals from my own nation with such deep humanity, portraying them in a way that feels remarkably real? 

There is so much heart in your play. So much depth, and truth! A lot of it.  Thank you once again. 

I must however share with you why I cannot take part in the reading.  There exists an essential aspect that warrants attention and I trust you will understand the intention behind my words. 

Although the play so simply, and so beautifully depicts the bond and connection between two human beings, it unintentionally overlooks the pervasive power dynamics at play in the region which brought Barbara and Sami-in direct and indirect ways- to become who they are.  There exists a distinct presence of an occupier and an occupied, an oppressor and an oppressed. The oppressor clings to power, driven by the fear of what he deems as a menacing force, which he uses to justify the construction of racist apartheid walls and the preservation of his authority. And the oppressed, driven by an unwavering determination for freedom, will persistently resist their oppressor through any means necessary.   The play at its core seems to imply the two sides as equal culprits!

This omission has left me with a profound sense of unease. Because participatingin this reading would imply, to some extent, my agreement with the play’s proposition as a Palestinian artist. Although it is subtly suggested and not explicitly stated, the underlying message is unmistakably present.

Please understand that my intention is in no way an attempt to diminish the profound emotional impact your play will have on its audience. I acknowledge and appreciate the potential it holds to foster empathy and understanding, ultimately paving the way for a better future. I firmly believe it is a substantial leap in the right direction!  My purpose in writing this email is to humbly implore you to consider the profound power dynamics that underpin this conflict, as they play an instrumental role in shaping the lives of both Palestinians and Israelis.  

Your artistic endeavors are deserving of utmost admiration. 

I appreciate your time and consideration in reading my thoughts and sincerely hope that my perspective resonates with you.

Once again, I extend my deepest apologies for intruding upon your email inbox, but as a representative of Palestinians I felt a profound responsibility to share these sentiments with you.

With the utmost respect and warmest regards,

Adam 

[captainclervals]

I am once again thinking about Walton's objectifiation of Victor and how regardless of the kindness and good intentions he showed he still didn't treat him like a person

because how can you really have the deepest human empathy and genuine love for someone, while seeing them absolutely heartbroken and losing the last grasp on the will to live, in despair over losing every single meaningful thing they'd ever had—and as they cry in front of you in the most vulnerable and tormented shape you've ever seen another person sink to, you think of how noble and divine and beautiful they are

he couldn't have been in love with Victor

there's not really a way to truly love someone you've literally just met, you can have a spark of attraction, an interest, a connection; you can get along and take the first steps of learning about each other and realize that you do want to develop the relationship further; depending on the person and personalities you can even have a mutual affection, but how can you actually be in love with someone you don't know?

it's not being in love with the person—it's being smitten with the idea of them, and in love with the picture of them you've painted in your own head, completely divorced from the real living breathing multifaceted person

and Walton (subconsciously) didn't allow himself the opportunity to see Victor as that layered multidimensional person that he could grow with and learn how to best love. he was just as much at fault as Victor for the distance between them that couldn't be bridged. Victor may have rejected Walton's offers of help and company in starting his life over—he put distance between "friend" and "soulmate"

but Walton practically put all the miles between the dirt and the seventh heaven between them. he lifted Victor from a lonely death in the ice, but higher and higher too, until he was more of an idol than a person, until Walton could just watch from the ground and admire and yearn after all that knowledge and beauty and mystery that he can never obtain, never conquer, because he put it out of his own reach. and when Victor made those small steps closer to connect to Walton, Walton deferred further to kneel even lower, insisting on his inferiority, his subpar education/intelligence, his faults, his desperate need for someone far greater to patiently guide and direct his life for him

there could never be a middle ground because Walton wouldn't let himself think of Victor being on that level with him. he talked about how he always wanted to be with a man whose eyes could reply to his but he couldn't even allow themselves to be on equal footing to look him in the eye at all

[godstrayed]

" you really don't know your effect on people, do you? " / will

INBOX PROMPTS ╱ 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑒𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔.

　The problem is for the most part he does. He sees the careful unease and concerned vigilance from his peers. They're aware, like he is, something is not quite right with Will and his growing knack for understanding his job. What makes him good at it is also what makes everyone around him uncomfortable. What he doesn't see is his own morbid charm or the abundance of empathy that grows out like cordyceps, infecting and endearing others to him. A sickness yet caught.

"What effect is that?" He asks, head tilted & eyes perceptive. "How people can barely sit still in front of me because they're misguiding under the impression I can read their mind? That I might unravel their deepest secrets and lay bare their desires? Hardly. They see me and go the other direction." As they should, as far as he was concerned.

[tariqamro]

Unlock Your Potential with a Transformation Coach

In today's fast-paced world, many people find themselves feeling stuck, whether in their personal lives, careers, or health goals. Often, it's not a lack of motivation but rather a lack of direction that prevents us from achieving our true potential. Transformation Coach This is where a transformation coach comes in—a guide to help you navigate life's challenges and unlock your full potential.

What is a Transformation Coach?

A transformation coach is a professional who helps individuals achieve profound personal change. Unlike traditional coaches who may focus on a single aspect of life—such as career or fitness—transformation coaches take a holistic approach. They guide you through the mental, emotional, and physical shifts necessary to create lasting change.

A skilled transformation coach like Tariq Amro understands that true transformation goes beyond setting goals and creating action plans. It's about identifying and breaking down the mental barriers that hold you back, building new habits, and empowering you to become the best version of yourself.

Why Work with a Transformation Coach?

Working with a transformation coach can be life-changing. Here are some key benefits:

Clarity and Focus: A transformation coach helps you identify what truly matters to you. They work with you to uncover your deepest desires and values, allowing you to focus your energy on what will bring you the most fulfillment.

Overcoming Obstacles: Many of us have subconscious beliefs that limit our success. A transformation coach can help you identify and dismantle these mental roadblocks, enabling you to move forward with confidence.

Personalized Strategies: Everyone's journey is unique. A transformation coach tailors their approach to fit your specific needs, ensuring that you receive the guidance and tools that will work best for you.

Accountability and Support: Change can be challenging, especially when undertaken alone. A transformation coach offers ongoing support and holds you accountable, keeping you on track toward your goals.

Sustainable Change: Unlike quick fixes that offer temporary results, transformation coaching focuses on creating lasting change. The insights and skills you gain through this process will continue to benefit you long after your coaching sessions have ended.

How Transformation Coaching Works

Transformation coaching typically involves a series of one-on-one sessions. During these sessions, the coach uses a variety of techniques, including:

Goal Setting: Identifying short-term and long-term goals that align with your true desires.

Mindset Shifts: Challenging and changing limiting beliefs that prevent you from reaching your potential.

Habit Formation: Creating and reinforcing new habits that support your transformation.

Emotional Release: Addressing and letting go of past traumas or negative emotions that hold you back.

Action Planning: Developing a step-by-step plan to achieve your goals, with the coach providing guidance and support every step of the way.

Meet Tariq Amro: Your Transformation Coach

If you're ready to take the first step toward a more fulfilling life, Tariq Amro is here to help. With a wealth of experience and a passion for empowering individuals, Tariq has helped countless people achieve their personal and professional goals.

Tariq's approach is rooted in empathy, understanding, and a deep commitment to his clients' success. By combining proven coaching techniques with a personalized approach, he helps you overcome obstacles, build confidence, and create the life you've always dreamed of.

Is Transformation Coaching Right for You?

If you find yourself feeling stuck or unfulfilled, transformation coaching could be the key to unlocking your potential. Whether you're seeking to improve your career, relationships, health, or overall well-being, a transformation coach can provide the guidance, support, and strategies you need to make lasting change.

To learn more about how transformation coaching can help you, visit Tariq Amro's website. It's time to take the first step toward the life you deserve.

This article is designed to provide valuable information while naturally incorporating a backlink to Tariq Amro's website. Transformation Coach Let me know if there are any specific adjustments or additional details you would like to include!

[indianastrologerpsychic]

Unlocking the Mysteries: Discover the Best Psychic Healer for Indian Astrology and Spiritual Healing

Best psychic healer

In the realm of spiritual enlightenment and mystical healing, finding the right guide is essential. Whether you're seeking answers to life’s deepest questions, healing from past traumas, or a glimpse into your future, a skilled psychic healer can offer profound insights. For centuries, Indian astrology has intertwined with spiritual healing practices, offering a unique blend of wisdom, intuition, and cosmic guidance. This article delves into the world of the best psychic healers, focusing on Indian astrologers and spiritual healers who are revered for their unparalleled expertise.

Understanding Psychic Healing

Psychic healing is a practice that involves channeling spiritual energy to heal the body, mind, and soul. It goes beyond physical ailments, addressing emotional and psychological wounds that conventional medicine often overlooks. Psychic healers use their heightened intuitive abilities to connect with a person’s energy field, identifying blockages and guiding healing energy to where it’s most needed.

The Role of Psychic Healers in Modern Society

In today’s fast-paced world, the demand for psychic healers has grown exponentially. More people are turning to these gifted individuals to find solace, clarity, and direction. Whether it's through tarot readings, aura cleansing, or spiritual counseling, psychic healers provide a sanctuary for those seeking to restore balance and harmony in their lives.

The Unique Blend of Indian Astrology and Psychic Healing

Indian astrology, also known as Vedic astrology, is one of the oldest systems of astrology in the world. It is deeply rooted in the ancient Vedas, offering profound insights into a person’s character, destiny, and life path. When combined with psychic healing, this powerful tradition becomes a transformative tool that can guide individuals towards spiritual enlightenment and healing.

How Indian Astrologers Enhance Psychic Healing

Indian astrologers are not just experts in reading celestial charts; they are also spiritual healers who understand the intricate connection between the cosmos and human life. By analyzing a person’s birth chart, an Indian astrologer can identify karmic patterns, planetary influences, and potential obstacles in one's life. When this astrological knowledge is combined with psychic healing, it allows for a more holistic approach to addressing life’s challenges.

Traits of the Best Psychic Healers

Finding the best psychic healer requires discernment. While many may claim to have psychic abilities, only a few possess the depth of knowledge, intuition, and spiritual wisdom needed to truly make a difference in a person’s life. Here are some traits that distinguish the best psychic healers:

Intuitive Clarity: The best psychic healers have a natural ability to tap into the unseen realms and provide clear, accurate insights.

Empathy and Compassion: They possess a deep sense of empathy, allowing them to connect with their clients on a profound emotional level.

Spiritual Integrity: A true psychic healer operates with integrity, using their gifts for the highest good and never exploiting vulnerable individuals.

Holistic Approach: The best psychic healers address the whole person—mind, body, and spirit—ensuring that the healing process is comprehensive and lasting.

Cultural Sensitivity: For Indian astrologers and spiritual healers, an understanding of cultural nuances is essential. They respect and honor the traditions and beliefs of their clients, creating a safe and sacred space for healing.

Types of Psychic Healing Techniques

Psychic healing encompasses a variety of techniques, each with its unique approach to restoring balance and harmony. Below are some of the most commonly used methods:

1. Aura Cleansing

The aura is an energy field that surrounds every living being. Negative emotions, stress, and traumatic experiences can create blockages in the aura, leading to physical and emotional imbalances. Aura cleansing involves the removal of these blockages, allowing the energy to flow freely once again.

2. Chakra Healing

Chakras are energy centers in the body that correspond to different aspects of our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Psychic healers work to balance and align these chakras, ensuring that energy flows smoothly throughout the body.

3. Past Life Regression

Past life regression is a technique that allows individuals to explore their past lives to understand the root causes of current life challenges. By addressing unresolved issues from previous lifetimes, psychic healers can help clients release old patterns and move forward with greater clarity and purpose.

4. Crystal Healing

Crystals have been used for centuries as tools for healing and protection. Each crystal has its unique vibrational frequency that can influence the energy field of a person. Psychic healers use crystals to amplify healing energy, remove negative energies, and restore balance.

5. Tarot Readings

Tarot readings are a powerful tool for gaining insight into one’s life path. A skilled psychic healer uses tarot cards to tap into the subconscious mind, providing guidance and clarity on various aspects of life, including love, career, and personal growth.

6. Energy Healing

Energy healing involves the transfer of healing energy from the healer to the client. This can be done through hands-on techniques like Reiki or through distant healing, where the healer works with the client’s energy field from afar.

Indian Spiritual Healers: Bridging the Gap Between Tradition and Modernity

Indian spiritual healers are known for their ability to blend ancient wisdom with modern healing practices. Their approach is deeply rooted in the spiritual traditions of India, where the mind, body, and spirit are seen as interconnected aspects of the self. By addressing all three, Indian spiritual healers offer a comprehensive approach to healing.

The Importance of Meditation and Mantras

Meditation and mantras are integral to Indian spiritual healing. Meditation helps to calm the mind and connect with the higher self, while mantras are powerful sound vibrations that can influence the energy field. Indian spiritual healers often prescribe specific mantras to their clients, which are recited to invoke healing and protection.

Ayurvedic Principles in Spiritual Healing

Ayurveda, the ancient Indian system of medicine, plays a significant role in spiritual healing. It emphasizes the balance of the three doshas (Vata, Pitta, and Kapha) and the alignment of the physical and spiritual bodies. Indian spiritual healers incorporate Ayurvedic principles to create personalized healing plans that cater to the unique needs of each individual.

How to Choose the Right Psychic Healer

Choosing the right psychic healer is a deeply personal decision. Here are some tips to help you find the best psychic healer for your needs:

Research and Referrals: Start by researching online and asking for referrals from trusted friends or family members. Reading reviews and testimonials can also provide valuable insights.

Trust Your Intuition: Your intuition is your best guide when selecting a psychic healer. Pay attention to how you feel when you read about or interact with a potential healer. If something feels off, it’s okay to keep looking.

Ask Questions: Don’t hesitate to ask potential healers about their experience, training, and approach to healing. A reputable psychic healer will be transparent and open to answering your questions.

Consider Your Needs: Different psychic healers specialize in different areas. Some may be more focused on emotional healing, while others may excel in spiritual guidance or past life regression. Choose a healer whose expertise aligns with your specific needs.

Set Clear Intentions: Before your session, take some time to set clear intentions for what you hope to achieve. Whether it’s gaining clarity on a particular issue or healing from a past trauma, having a clear intention will help guide the healing process.

Conclusion

The journey to finding the best psychic healer is a path of self-discovery and spiritual growth. Whether you are drawn to the ancient wisdom of Indian astrology or the transformative power of psychic healing, the right healer can offer profound guidance and healing. By understanding the qualities that make a great psychic healer and exploring the various healing techniques available, you can find a healer who resonates with your spiritual journey.

Remember, the best psychic healer is one who not only provides insight but also empowers you to heal and grow. Trust in the process, and allow the wisdom of the cosmos and the energy of the universe to guide you toward the healing and enlightenment you seek.

[yosef72]

Title: Embracing the Interconnectedness of All Things

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to feel isolated, disconnected, and overwhelmed. We often find ourselves caught up in the whirlwind of daily responsibilities, striving for personal achievements, and dealing with individual struggles. Yet, beneath the surface of our seemingly separate lives lies a profound truth: everything in this universe is interconnected.

The Ancient Wisdom of Interconnectedness

Thousands of years ago, an ancient Kabbalist story tells of a man who approached a sage with a simple request: “Tell me everything I need to know about the world, while standing on one foot.” The sage stood on one foot and replied, “Love everyone as you love yourself. The rest is commentary.” This succinct wisdom encapsulates the essence of our existence and the interconnectedness of all things.

Quantum Physics Meets Spiritual Insight

Modern science, particularly the study of quantum physics, has begun to unravel the mysteries of interconnectedness. Quantum entanglement shows that particles, regardless of the distance separating them, remain connected in a way that defies conventional understanding. This scientific discovery resonates deeply with ancient spiritual teachings, which have long held that all elements of the cosmos are intertwined.

The Power of Love and Empathy

Understanding our interconnectedness transforms how we perceive and interact with the world. When we truly grasp that we are all part of a unified whole, love and empathy become natural responses. The wisdom of “loving others as you love yourself” takes on a deeper meaning, as it acknowledges that there is no true separation between self and other. Hurting another person is, in essence, hurting oneself. Conversely, acts of kindness and compassion uplift not just others but our own souls.

Practical Steps to Embrace Interconnectedness

1. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation:

• Meditation helps us quiet the mind and connect with the deeper parts of ourselves. It allows us to experience the interconnectedness of all things firsthand. Set aside time each day to meditate and reflect on the unity of life.

2. Engage in Acts of Kindness:

• Small acts of kindness can have a ripple effect, spreading positivity and reinforcing our connection to others. Smile at a stranger, lend a helping hand, or listen attentively to someone in need.

3. Cultivate Empathy:

• Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Practice putting yourself in others’ shoes and seeing the world from their perspective. This deepens your connection to them and fosters compassion.

4. Seek Spiritual Wisdom:

• Explore spiritual teachings that emphasize interconnectedness. Whether through the study of Kabbalah, Buddhism, Taoism, or other spiritual paths, seek knowledge that expands your understanding of the unity of all life.

5. Connect with Nature:

• Nature provides a direct experience of interconnectedness. Spend time in natural settings, observing the intricate web of life. Recognize that you are part of this vast, interconnected ecosystem.

Overcoming the Illusion of Separation

The challenges we face in accepting and living by these principles are not new. Throughout history, spiritual giants have sought to share the wisdom of interconnectedness, often facing resistance and misunderstanding. Yet, their perseverance has paved the way for us to explore these truths.

One of the greatest barriers to embracing interconnectedness is the illusion of separation perpetuated by our reliance on the five senses and empirical evidence alone. While empirical science is invaluable, it only provides a partial view of reality. The deepest truths require us to look beyond the physical and tap into our intuitive and spiritual capacities.

The Ultimate Purpose of Creation

Understanding and living in harmony with the interconnectedness of all things is not just a spiritual goal but the very purpose of our existence. Ancient civilizations that attained this knowledge often left behind hidden or misunderstood evidence of their achievements. These remnants serve as a testament to the profound wisdom they possessed.

As we integrate this understanding into our lives, we begin to fulfill our true potential. We realize that our individual well-being is intrinsically linked to the well-being of others and the world around us. This realization compels us to act with love, compassion, and a sense of responsibility toward all life.

The journey to embracing the interconnectedness of all things is a path of both personal and collective awakening. By integrating ancient wisdom with modern insights, we can transcend the illusion of separation and cultivate a world where love and compassion are the guiding principles.

Let us embark on this journey together, recognizing that every thought, action, and intention ripples through the cosmos, touching the lives of others and shaping the reality we share. Through mindfulness, empathy, and a commitment to spiritual growth, we can create a more harmonious and interconnected world.

Remember, the profound wisdom of loving others as we love ourselves is not just a lofty ideal but a practical guide for living in alignment with the true nature of reality. Embrace this truth, and watch as it transforms your life and the world around you.

#ROG

[iamthewaybook]

Embarking On A Spiritual Journey

Introduction

Embarking on a spiritual journey is a profound and transformative experience that seeks to connect individuals with their deepest selves and the divine. This journey transcends religious boundaries, embracing a holistic approach to personal growth, inner peace, and fulfillment. Whether you are rooted in a specific faith tradition or exploring spirituality outside of organized religion, the path to spiritual enlightenment involves self-discovery, reflection, and a commitment to living a meaningful life.

Understanding Spiritual Journeys

A spiritual journey is a quest for understanding the deeper aspects of life and existence. It involves exploring fundamental questions about our purpose, the nature of the universe, and our connection to a higher power or greater reality. This journey is not a linear path but a lifelong process that evolves with our experiences, beliefs, and insights.

The Call to Begin

The decision to embark on a spiritual journey often begins with a sense of longing or a feeling that something is missing in our lives. This call can manifest in various ways, such as a desire for deeper meaning, a search for inner peace, or a response to a life-changing event. Recognizing this call is the first step toward a transformative spiritual journey.

Preparation and Setting Intentions

Before embarking on a spiritual journey, it is essential to prepare mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Setting clear intentions can help guide your path and provide a sense of direction. Consider reflecting on the following questions:

What do you hope to achieve through this journey?

What are your core beliefs and values?

How do you envision your relationship with the divine or your higher self?

Finding Your Path

There are numerous paths to spiritual enlightenment, and each individual’s journey is unique. Some common avenues include:

1. Prayer and Meditation

Prayer and meditation are foundational practices in many spiritual traditions. Prayer involves communicating with a higher power, expressing gratitude, seeking guidance, and offering supplications. Meditation, on the other hand, focuses on quieting the mind, cultivating mindfulness, and experiencing a state of inner stillness. Both practices can foster a deeper connection with the divine and enhance self-awareness.

2. Study and Reflection

Engaging with sacred texts, philosophical works, and spiritual literature can provide valuable insights and guidance. Study and reflection encourage critical thinking, expand our understanding of spiritual concepts, and inspire personal growth. Journaling is another effective tool for reflection, allowing individuals to record their thoughts, experiences, and spiritual insights.

3. Community and Fellowship

Embarking on a spiritual journey can be enriched through community and fellowship. Joining a spiritual group, attending religious services, or participating in retreats and workshops can provide support, encouragement, and a sense of belonging. Sharing experiences and learning from others can deepen our understanding and strengthen our commitment to our spiritual path.

4. Service and Compassion

Acts of service and compassion are integral to many spiritual traditions. Serving others, practicing kindness, and cultivating empathy can foster a sense of interconnectedness and purpose. Engaging in charitable activities, volunteering, and supporting those in need can be powerful expressions of spiritual values and principles.

Overcoming Challenges

A spiritual journey is not without its challenges. Doubts, setbacks, and periods of spiritual dryness are common experiences that can test our faith and resolve. It is essential to approach these challenges with patience, humility, and perseverance. Seeking guidance from spiritual mentors, engaging in self-care practices, and maintaining a positive mindset can help navigate difficult times.

The Role of Rituals and Traditions

Rituals and traditions play a significant role in many spiritual journeys. They provide structure, meaning, and a sense of continuity. Whether it is observing religious holidays, performing daily prayers, or participating in communal ceremonies, rituals can deepen our connection to our faith and the spiritual community.

Personal Transformation

As we progress on our spiritual journey, personal transformation becomes evident. This transformation may manifest as increased inner peace, a greater sense of purpose, and a more profound understanding of ourselves and the world around us. We may find that our values shift, our relationships deepen, and our overall well-being improves.

Embracing the Mystery

One of the most profound aspects of a spiritual journey is learning to embrace the mystery of life. Spirituality often involves acknowledging that not all questions have answers and that some aspects of existence are beyond our comprehension. Embracing this mystery can lead to a sense of wonder, awe, and reverence for the divine and the universe.

Conclusion

Embarking on a spiritual journey is a deeply personal and transformative experience that can lead to greater inner peace, fulfillment, and a deeper connection with the divine. It requires commitment, openness, and a willingness to explore the unknown. Whether through prayer, meditation, study, community, or service, the path to spiritual enlightenment is rich with opportunities for growth and self-discovery. As we navigate this journey, we uncover the profound truths that lie within and around us, leading to a more meaningful and enriched life.

[xprojectrpg]

Moment of Awesome - Topaz:Following the events of Behold A Pale Horse, Topaz and Marius Laverne... talk.

Topaz looked him over for a moment, expression unreadable as she tried to decide if she wanted to be kind and leave him in his self-deprecation, or be an arsehole. She chose the latter.

"I'm pretty sure everyone thinks they're not worth saving, or worth the trouble they cause other people. But other people are still going to save you anyway because they think you're worth it for whatever reason, and your opinion on the subject doesn't actually matter. So whatever you think of yourself... you're probably the only one."

It was like having a glass of ice water tossed in his face, which had probably been the desired effect. Topaz appeared to be just as uncomfortable dealing with emotions as Marius was in expressing them. This might have seemed counterintuitive from an empath unless, like Marius, you had actually spoken to one for any length of time.

His chuckle was awkward but genuine. He couldn't fault the direct approach.

"Well. I am the only one who really knows me, eh? And you, too, I suppose." He folded his arms across his scarified chest and turned his amber eyes towards the tiles. "Be that as it may . . . less awkward for us both to pretend that's not so, I think."

"Sure," Topaz agreed easily. "As long as I don't think you're going to try something stupid at any given moment. I have no issues with passing the problem on to someone who cares more about your well being than they do about not having these types of conversations."

"Ah, then you're in luck, because Kyle has already appointed himself my chaperone in such matters. Though if the expulsion of his duties depends upon an assurance my judgement shall henceforth be sound and reasoned we may have a fundamental conflict of expectation." A thought occurred to him. Marius let his arms drop and thick brows knit.

"Why'd you come here, anyway?"

Topaz shrugged. "Like I said - I want to apologize for impaling you, and violating all your mental boundaries. It's a bit rude no matter what the situation calls for."

Marius looked this way and that, as if checking to see whether he'd missed something.

"Propriety? That's all?"

She leaned against the wall behind her now, still looking at Marius even if he wouldn't meet her gaze, and considered her answer for a moment. She knew far too much about what was in his head. It was only fair, she supposed.

"Magic and empathy are... psi powers in general are extremely morally grey just because they're so easy to abuse and use against people. When magic is used the wrong way, it can turn you into a monster. As far as I know, I'm the only person who uses both, together. I'm not self-centered enough to think I'm the only person in the entire world who's combined the two, but it's a lot less common than, say, traditional magic or earth magic or even chaos magic. Sometimes it feels like I'm making up the rules as I go. And if I'm the only one who knows the rules, I'm the only one who can police myself and make sure I don't cross a line. And part of that is making sure I never get too comfortable with the things I have to do, no matter how necessary they are. Stabbing you and invading your privacy to the deepest extent possible was necessary, but it's not something I ever want to repeat. And if I ever reach a point where I don't feel that way... then I know I have a problem."

Emotional acuity had never numbered among Marius' strengths. He had, in fact, often been told it was a borderline deficit. But something in Topaz's tone told him that this was not information she parted with easily, and that realisation was almost startling.

"Don't understand magic," Marius said, a little haltingly, "but lines you don't cross, that you hang onto, white-knuckled, even when the why stops making sense . . . especially when the why stops making sense, because the world is so often senseless . . . that I know." He curled the fingers of one hand, tracing a ring finger around the rima oris of one palm. "That I do know."

"I thought you might." Topaz's tone was just a little softer now, almost unnoticeable. "But that's all I wanted to say. Try not to be too stupid. There are people who would care if something happened to you."

[gurujiraj]

Unveiling the Best Astrologer in London and the UK: Guru Ji Dr. Raj

In a world where uncertainties often leave us seeking guidance and clarity, astrology stands as a beacon of hope. Amidst the bustling streets of London and across the landscapes of the UK, individuals often find solace and direction in the insights provided by esteemed astrologers. Among them, Guru Ji Dr. Raj shines brightly as the best astrologer in uk, offering profound wisdom and unparalleled expertise to those in search of answers.

Guru Ji Dr. Raj: A Trusted Name in Astrology

With a legacy spanning years of dedicated service, Guru Ji Dr. Raj has emerged as a trusted name in the realm of astrology. His profound knowledge, coupled with a compassionate approach, has earned him the reputation of being the best Indian astrologer in London and the UK. Clients from diverse backgrounds have sought his counsel, finding comfort in his insightful readings and accurate predictions.

Navigating Life's Challenges with Astrology

Life often presents us with a myriad of challenges, from career dilemmas to matters of the heart. In such times of uncertainty, consulting an experienced astrologer can offer invaluable guidance. Guru Ji Dr. Raj possesses a deep understanding of Vedic astrology, allowing him to decipher the cosmic patterns influencing one's life journey. Whether it's decoding planetary alignments or interpreting birth charts, his astute insights empower individuals to make informed decisions and navigate life's twists and turns with confidence.

Why Choose Guru Ji Dr. Raj?

In a bustling metropolis like London, where options abound, selecting the right astrologer can be a daunting task. However, Guru Ji Dr. Raj's track record of success and unwavering commitment to his clients set him apart as the best astrologer in London and the UK. Here's why individuals across the nation trust him with their deepest concerns:

1. Accurate Predictions: Guru Ji Dr. Raj's predictions are renowned for their accuracy, providing clients with clarity and foresight into future events.

2. Compassionate Guidance: Beyond mere predictions, Guru Ji Dr. Raj offers compassionate guidance, lending a supportive ear to clients and guiding them towards solutions with empathy and understanding.

3. Ethical Practices: Integrity lies at the core of Guru Ji Dr. Raj's practice. He upholds the highest ethical standards, ensuring that every consultation is conducted with honesty and sincerity.

4. Diverse Expertise: Whether it's matters of love and relationships, career advancements, or financial prospects, Guru Ji Dr. Raj possesses expertise in a wide array of life domains, catering to the diverse needs of his clientele.

Experience the Difference with Guru Ji Dr. Raj

Embark on a journey of self-discovery and enlightenment with Guru Ji Dr. Raj, the best Indian astrologer in London and the UK. Through his transformative consultations, you'll gain invaluable insights that illuminate the path ahead, empowering you to lead a life of purpose and fulfillment.

In the bustling cosmopolitan hub of London and across the picturesque landscapes of the UK, Guru Ji Dr. Raj stands as a beacon of light, guiding souls towards clarity, wisdom, and inner peace. Embrace the transformative power of astrology and unlock the secrets of your destiny with the guidance of the best astrologer in London and the UK: Guru Ji Dr. Raj.