#decision vs indecision......making a choice vs being paralyzed

[lepidopterium]

MAG......MAG 186.....

[bestworstcase]

Sugracha for the character ask, if it’s not too late?

it’s never too late to talk about my GIRL

What I love about them:

i could probably write a whole ramble about how the disciples are an evil mirror of the main trio even though tts failed abysmally to take advantage of this bUT suffice it to say sugracha is just evil rapunzel™️ and i love that for her. actually no not suffice it to say because i need everyone to understand that i am absolutely dead serious about this and it goes WELL beyond them both being artists -

1. they approach their art in diametrically opposed ways rapunzel is all about expressionism and has a very loose, colorful style whereas sugracha is exacting and detailed, approaching art as a way of seeing - we could also get into how painting is for rapunzel a means of processing the past whereas for sugracha it’s a means of determining the future tbh. the point is they stand at totally opposite ends of the artistic scale.

2. rapunzel’s friendliness and genuine love for people is hampered by her lack of social skills, understanding of societal mores, and poor empathy/inability to really listen to people - this is a recurring thread. sugracha’s friendliness is made sinister by her malicious intentions but she has the charisma and keen understanding of what motivates people to successfully lure people in - she has an insightfulness that rapunzel does not which enables her to succeed in ways rapunzel could not.

3. rapunzel’s passion is exuberant and unrestrained and indiscriminate: she is excited about life and people and learning new things, she wants to see the world and experience whatever life throws at her. sugracha’s passion is singular in focus and tightly controlled, which i would argue makes it more potent because she can channel the full force of it into pursuit of a single goal, which again is not something i think rapunzel could sustain.

4. the obvious reading of PB is rapunzel as a representation of choice and sugracha as her natural opposite but i find it very interesting that sugracha specifically uses the phrase “making difficult choices is part of life” and rapunzel ultimately rejects this by saying “making difficult choices is what makes us who we are” (i’m paraphrasing here so this is not an exact quote). because! quite apart from the whole mind control issue, rather than being a compulsion vs choice issue i like to read this as a choices are imposed by external forces (life itself demands that we make choices) vs choices are motivated from within (our intrinsic desires demand that we make choices) aND.

4a. this distinction imo is what defines their relationships with zhan tiri (this is getting wildly into headcanon territory with sugracha but please bear with me): rapunzel views zhan tiri as a force or being antithetical to the world she wants to live in and must therefore repeatedly make the choice to stand against her because to do otherwise would be to deny the demands of her own heart; meanwhile sugracha views zhan tiri as a natural, inevitable force and the choice to resist that—to not embrace zhan tiri and what she stands for, to not be consumed with obsession for her—is to her just as unthinkable as submission is to rapunzel.

5. which is an interesting contrast because rapunzel as a character is incredibly passive - she is a reactive protagonist throughout all three seasons and seldom if ever takes the initiative to drive the plot forward herself, with most plot progression coming from either the assistance of secondary characters or from the attacks of villainous ones - whereas sugracha is incredibly active - the instant she’s released she constructs and executes an intricate plan to free zhan tiri.

5a. what i’m getting at here is i think rapunzel’s intrinsic motivations are very weak which leads to her not acting unless she is acutely in distress or otherwise in crisis, whereas sugracha’s external motivations are so profound and all-encompassing that she has no choice but to act.

ANYWAY. all of this to say that i really do think sugracha represents the worst extremes and excesses of rapunzel’s flaws: even the externality of her art and her choices are in a way reflective of rapunzel’s passivity - where rapunzel relies on intrinsic motivations that only compel her to action when the situation feels truly dire or when other people force her to make a decision, sugracha is focused so thoroughly on exterior goals and passions that her intrinsic desires don’t even matter…so unlike rapunzel she is literally incapable of complacency or being paralyzed by indecision, both of which are things rapunzel’s weak intrinsic motivation and hesitancy to commit to choices lead her to struggle with.

and i am just…completely obsessed with all of this i think about sugracha CONSTANTLY

What I hate about them:

why in the FUCK was she only in one episode

Favorite Moment/Quote:

“my dear, whether or not they fall is completely up to you. finish my spell, and i’ll spare them. the choice is yours.” bonus points for the fucking SICK animation as she transforms from her ghost form into sugarby again.

i also love the way her voice sinks and unfolds out of the cutesy old lady voice she affected as sugarby when she reveals herself as sugracha i hear “please, sugarby was merely the vessel i chose to suit my purpose” and i go bonkers every time

What I would like to see more focus on:

i would like it if LITERALLY ANYONE BESIDES ME wrote about her. 14 fics on ao3 and two of them are mine and seven of them are weird kink fics with a gazillion characters tagged -__-

What I would like to see less focus on:

no 💚 ask me again when more people have given her the attention she deserves

Favorite pairing with:

i’m very fond of gothel as sugracha’s shitty ex i think it’s very fun

also like she definitely crushed hard on zhan tiri back in the day we’re all in agreement about that right

Favorite friendship:

they literally do not interact in canon but she and tromus both have such strong personalities that the evil brotp basically writes itself

NOTP:

do people ship her with tromus. he is a man and she is a woman so i can only assume that someone somewhere thought ‘i bet they were tOgEtHeR’ and. no 💚

Favorite headcanon:

*crazed waving at the third act of benighted*

[trendingnewsb]

What to Do When You Just Can't Make the Decision

How often have you dithered while making a decision, not knowing which is the correct choice? Life puts us at crossroads many a time and choosing one road over the other by carefully balancing the pros and cons of each, listening to that gut feel and not letting others influence your decisions is very important – if you want to be happy with your lot in life… Decision making is an important skill that we all need to move up and forward, in our career as well as in life.

But Why is Decision Making So Tough?

Frankly, on any given day, we often end up making hundreds of small and maybe insignificant decisions. When to get up, to exercise or not, what to wear, what to eat, where to go, how to go and much, much more? These decisions are made in a split second and are easy enough to figure but because they don’t really affect the outcome of anything per se – our breakfast choice, as long as it healthy and filling enough, does not alter the future of us or the world.

This changes when the decision has been made complicated by external factors. What you wear to the office on a usual day is not much of an issue, but when you have that all-important interview lined up, then your outfit becomes an important decision-making process. If you have difficulty in making decisions, and agonize over your choices for days to come, wondering whether what you did was right, you need to stop. [1]

While we would never advise you make split-second decisions and just plunge in without weighing the pros and cons – you do have to make the decision quickly and concisely and remember these thoughts.

More thinking is not always good thinking.

Learn to trust your intuition or gut feel.

Give a deadline to decision making.

Accept that you cannot always have it all; you might have to compromise a little.

Finally, is a decision you took ultimately proves to be wrong – remember that life does hand you lemons sometimes.

How Do I Improve My Decision Making Skills?

Knowing that you have a problem with decision making is a good step. Recognize the signs – if you can’t even order dinner for yourself, then it may be time to polish up your decision-making skills, stiffen your spine and trust what your gut is telling you…

The 10/10/10 Rule To Make Tough But Necessary Decisions

Suzy Welch is a business writer for various respected publications and she invented a simple tool that can help us decide either way, how to move ahead. [2]. Called 10/10/10, and described by Welch in a book of the same name, it advises that we think about the decision we are about to make on three different time frames: How will we feel about it 10 minutes from now? How about 10 months from now? How about 10 years from now? This tool basically helps us see things with a fresh perspective and makes sure that regret is not part of our life – if we can foresee that a decision we make now is likely to leave us with regret later, it means that you head down another road that foresees a happier future.

Face Your Fears And Then Move Forward

A lot of time, decision making paralyzes us, so to speak because we are afraid of the outcome. We fear the result our decision will bring and if basically are so anxious about it, analyzing it to the nth degree so much so we end up frozen in anguish. The key to getting out of this deep freeze is to face and name those fears. Write down the worst things that could happen with the decision you are about to make – for instance, you have a big problem with your spouse and want to air out your grievances. But you are afraid that this will lead to a big fight or even a separation down the road.

The next step is to see – can you cope up with that worst scenario? If it does come to a separation or even a divorce – can you cope with being single, can your children? Think about it long and hard and you might see that while your fears and the worst-case scenario are tough, they just might be manageable as well. [3]

Stuck? Write Down the Pros & Cons

TED Talker Ruth Chang has a devised a simple way to expedite those decision-making skills. She says you write down the pros and cons of the decision you are about to make for there are no correct or incorrect choices. As people, we are subliminally dictated by our desires and need, even if we ruthlessly tamp them down. This solution is very effective when we are stuck with two choices, and both seem good. Stuck between two marriage proposals, two jobs or two schools for the kids… [4]

If you list out the pros and cons of both your options, you will see the pros of one getting longer than the other – usually, your innate desire or your gut will be making the decision for you. Go with your gut and just leave everything else to the cosmos.

Be Careful of Miswanting & Making Decisions Based on it

Experts say that we end up making the wrong decisions simply because we end up confusing our likes, with our wants. As human beings, we are subject to our emotions and feelings. But feelings don’t really tell us where they come from – and since we often misunderstand their source, we end up not knowing what we liked about our situation in the first place.

Also, we may want something – and end up confusing the yearning with actual liking. So we may want to see the Louvre, but do we actually like it? We don’t know. We may want a new look… Do we like it? Don’t know…

So sometimes, our decisions should be based more on our likes, than our wants. For instance, we may want to take a trip to an exotic locale. But we know that we like being in the beautiful solitude of the hills, rather than the hub-bub of a Caribbean island. The decision should then be to go to the hills – for that is what we like… [5]

Escape From The Paradox Of Choice

Many years back, decision making was easier than what it is today. Why? Because it did not involve so many choices. Buying a shirt was easy because all you had to do was choose the size and the color. Now if you go to buy a shirt – you got to choose the type, the fit, the buttons, the fabric, the cut, the stitch, the pattern, the collar, the color, the size, and the micro-size.

As Barry Schwartz puts it so eloquently in his TED Talk [6] – we have so many choices today, that each of our decision, be it good or bad comes with the unique flavor of regret – since we end up thinking maybe A, B, C or X, Y, Z was a better choice than the D I chose. And this happens everywhere – in our jobs, the sandwich we buy, the ice cream flavor we finally choose or even the car or the latest pieces of tech we so adored, but now wonder about…

The solution is to keep it simple – choose 2-3 alternatives, turn a blind eye to the others and go with your gut. As for the rest, let the world carry on dithering – you have made your decision, be happy with it. There’ll always be people who think of you the fool, for the choice you make. The point being, if you are happy, why should you care at all?

Featured photo credit: Medical Daily via images.medicaldaily.com

Reference

[1]^Psych Central: Do You Have Difficulty Making Decisions[2]^Fast Company: 10-10-10 Rule Tough Decisions[3]^Oprah: Ways To Stop Being Indecisive[4]^Ted Summaries: Ruth Chang How To Make Hard Choices[5]^Art of Manliness: Wants Vs Likes[6]^Ted: Barry Schwartz On The Paradox Of Choice

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The post What to Do When You Just Can’t Make the Decision appeared first on Lifehack.

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[trendingnewsb]

What to Do When You Just Can't Make the Decision

How often have you dithered while making a decision, not knowing which is the correct choice? Life puts us at crossroads many a time and choosing one road over the other by carefully balancing the pros and cons of each, listening to that gut feel and not letting others influence your decisions is very important – if you want to be happy with your lot in life… Decision making is an important skill that we all need to move up and forward, in our career as well as in life.

But Why is Decision Making So Tough?

Frankly, on any given day, we often end up making hundreds of small and maybe insignificant decisions. When to get up, to exercise or not, what to wear, what to eat, where to go, how to go and much, much more? These decisions are made in a split second and are easy enough to figure but because they don’t really affect the outcome of anything per se – our breakfast choice, as long as it healthy and filling enough, does not alter the future of us or the world.

This changes when the decision has been made complicated by external factors. What you wear to the office on a usual day is not much of an issue, but when you have that all-important interview lined up, then your outfit becomes an important decision-making process. If you have difficulty in making decisions, and agonize over your choices for days to come, wondering whether what you did was right, you need to stop. [1]

While we would never advise you make split-second decisions and just plunge in without weighing the pros and cons – you do have to make the decision quickly and concisely and remember these thoughts.

More thinking is not always good thinking.

Learn to trust your intuition or gut feel.

Give a deadline to decision making.

Accept that you cannot always have it all; you might have to compromise a little.

Finally, is a decision you took ultimately proves to be wrong – remember that life does hand you lemons sometimes.

How Do I Improve My Decision Making Skills?

Knowing that you have a problem with decision making is a good step. Recognize the signs – if you can’t even order dinner for yourself, then it may be time to polish up your decision-making skills, stiffen your spine and trust what your gut is telling you…

The 10/10/10 Rule To Make Tough But Necessary Decisions

Suzy Welch is a business writer for various respected publications and she invented a simple tool that can help us decide either way, how to move ahead. [2]. Called 10/10/10, and described by Welch in a book of the same name, it advises that we think about the decision we are about to make on three different time frames: How will we feel about it 10 minutes from now? How about 10 months from now? How about 10 years from now? This tool basically helps us see things with a fresh perspective and makes sure that regret is not part of our life – if we can foresee that a decision we make now is likely to leave us with regret later, it means that you head down another road that foresees a happier future.

Face Your Fears And Then Move Forward

A lot of time, decision making paralyzes us, so to speak because we are afraid of the outcome. We fear the result our decision will bring and if basically are so anxious about it, analyzing it to the nth degree so much so we end up frozen in anguish. The key to getting out of this deep freeze is to face and name those fears. Write down the worst things that could happen with the decision you are about to make – for instance, you have a big problem with your spouse and want to air out your grievances. But you are afraid that this will lead to a big fight or even a separation down the road.

The next step is to see – can you cope up with that worst scenario? If it does come to a separation or even a divorce – can you cope with being single, can your children? Think about it long and hard and you might see that while your fears and the worst-case scenario are tough, they just might be manageable as well. [3]

Stuck? Write Down the Pros & Cons

TED Talker Ruth Chang has a devised a simple way to expedite those decision-making skills. She says you write down the pros and cons of the decision you are about to make for there are no correct or incorrect choices. As people, we are subliminally dictated by our desires and need, even if we ruthlessly tamp them down. This solution is very effective when we are stuck with two choices, and both seem good. Stuck between two marriage proposals, two jobs or two schools for the kids… [4]

If you list out the pros and cons of both your options, you will see the pros of one getting longer than the other – usually, your innate desire or your gut will be making the decision for you. Go with your gut and just leave everything else to the cosmos.

Be Careful of Miswanting & Making Decisions Based on it

Experts say that we end up making the wrong decisions simply because we end up confusing our likes, with our wants. As human beings, we are subject to our emotions and feelings. But feelings don’t really tell us where they come from – and since we often misunderstand their source, we end up not knowing what we liked about our situation in the first place.

Also, we may want something – and end up confusing the yearning with actual liking. So we may want to see the Louvre, but do we actually like it? We don’t know. We may want a new look… Do we like it? Don’t know…

So sometimes, our decisions should be based more on our likes, than our wants. For instance, we may want to take a trip to an exotic locale. But we know that we like being in the beautiful solitude of the hills, rather than the hub-bub of a Caribbean island. The decision should then be to go to the hills – for that is what we like… [5]

Escape From The Paradox Of Choice

Many years back, decision making was easier than what it is today. Why? Because it did not involve so many choices. Buying a shirt was easy because all you had to do was choose the size and the color. Now if you go to buy a shirt – you got to choose the type, the fit, the buttons, the fabric, the cut, the stitch, the pattern, the collar, the color, the size, and the micro-size.

As Barry Schwartz puts it so eloquently in his TED Talk [6] – we have so many choices today, that each of our decision, be it good or bad comes with the unique flavor of regret – since we end up thinking maybe A, B, C or X, Y, Z was a better choice than the D I chose. And this happens everywhere – in our jobs, the sandwich we buy, the ice cream flavor we finally choose or even the car or the latest pieces of tech we so adored, but now wonder about…

The solution is to keep it simple – choose 2-3 alternatives, turn a blind eye to the others and go with your gut. As for the rest, let the world carry on dithering – you have made your decision, be happy with it. There’ll always be people who think of you the fool, for the choice you make. The point being, if you are happy, why should you care at all?

Featured photo credit: Medical Daily via images.medicaldaily.com

Reference

[1]^Psych Central: Do You Have Difficulty Making Decisions[2]^Fast Company: 10-10-10 Rule Tough Decisions[3]^Oprah: Ways To Stop Being Indecisive[4]^Ted Summaries: Ruth Chang How To Make Hard Choices[5]^Art of Manliness: Wants Vs Likes[6]^Ted: Barry Schwartz On The Paradox Of Choice

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The post What to Do When You Just Can’t Make the Decision appeared first on Lifehack.

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