#decided not to include that picture... plus i'd have to edit it first which would've been... so many more hours. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mattodore · 1 year ago

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it takes a lot out of me to remember myself. i turn my face away from it and my body cracks open, spilling glistening hot viscera onto the floor for the audience to coo at. scenes flash behind me—dark corners, the breeze from the window, the floorboards creaking, a shift in the air. close to me, you look over my shoulder. you tell me, “you kept yourself so still when you were younger.” i want to ask how you know that. how do you know? but you reach out to touch my open body, press my hand to your chest, hold my face. it’s in your eyes. you were a boy once. just like me.

#simblr #the sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 edit #river dipping #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #echthroi #a burning house to live in #cw injury #cw blood #cw self harm #the link in the caption is to the full version of this image if anyone is curious about the actual details in this edit.......#i'm beating tumblr with so many hammers rn btw #the caption itself is pretty long but i didn't want to cut any of it to make it easily digestible bc theo isn't easy to digest anyway #i don't even know where to begin with this edit...#he's getting up from his knees in the first pose and then limping in the second and slowing to a stop in the third #the first pose is actually meant to be in reference to the sunflowers memory from his 60 questions... :/#his teenage self is definitely the one i put the most work into every step of the way... it's a time for him i don't really talk about #but it's definitely the years that shaped him the most as a character and well... theo doesn't really confront his past #but matthias mirrors theo in a lot of ways and through matthias theo meets himself again #hm. yeah. also doing the lighting from scratch was interesting. the light source here for theo is matthias and vice versa #if you look at the higher quality version of this and zoom in you can see that theo is actually crying pretty blankly in the second pose...#the blood running down his knee came out really well... wish you could see it in the post version :(#also i made a pose where theo is held up in matthias's arms hiding his face in his neck which is attached to this pose set but idk.#decided not to include that picture... plus i'd have to edit it first which would've been... so many more hours.#but anyway... theo's birthday was on the 28th but there were. circumstances. waves hands. so now we're posting this two days late.#in the same vein as matthias's birthday edit from april: here's to the first person to ever show theo love.

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